The Dick Show - Episode 231 - Dick on Turning FFFFFFFF

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Turning FFFFFFFF, the never-ending hangover, Adulting, new cringe PSAs, Cantillions ruins a birthday surprise, having to thank people for a birthday surprise, Bill Murray vs. menopause, No Nuts November, black people can’t marry white people, Tulpabrah calls in, Australia vs. hentai, wearing lifts in our shoes, suicide, Mersh, and the final Coronavirus argument; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My new account did not get suspended. No, my new account, Sean's new account, based LA comedian is still there. Are you based LA comedian? Is that with, okay. Jesus. I had to buy a burner phone for that. Oh, really?

Yeah, like a drug dealer. I'm gonna target in the middle of the night, tweaking out because I'm short on social media fix. Yeah, I need this, I need to get this phone. Can you open the case? One day my door will get. Yeah. I need this, I need to get this phone. Can you open the case? One day my door will get kicked in, and I don't know exactly why. I don't know exactly why.

You're aware of this plan, is for you. I need it, I need it, I'm on my phone. Like why do you need, I checked them, I know you have the phone here. I just checked it on my phone. What were about what I do? I eat. Kkk yes, Mersh Discord. He will be in Discord, all right.

It's these late, it's these afternoon shows. We haven't done one in the afternoon, really, have we? I mean, not in a long time. Not in a long time. It's always night time. Night time where I'm fighting through dinner to bring the show. Yeah. Well, we'll have to do that this week, for sure.

Yeah, we got to do a bonus episode. Maybe we should do it after the election. Oh, that'll be fun. Either cope or celebration election. Let's give it a couple of days. I think Trump's going to get 300 electoral votes, whatever those are called. Electoral votes? Yeah, 300. Yeah, he's going to be, it's going to be a fucking landslide. That's a big number. That's a pretty big number. I mean, what do you need to... 260 or something like that?

260 something, right? I like 260, yeah. The race to 260. Minut by minute. Minut by minute coverage. You fucking, you brain dead people with no lives. Minute by minute coverage of your election fever season. Brought to you by both Fwitzer, Witzler,

and Anderson Cooper's here to bring you minute to minute coverage of the end of your life. Your life is ending in 10 minutes. Go. Brought to you by Steven Universe. Oh. And as Twitter, block VPNs, yeah, I'm gonna be on the, yeah, I'm going on the route,

retort on election night, of course. I don't know if I'm not gonna be there all night. I mean, he's got a full, that guy's got a full dance card. He would probably pass out halfway through. If it starts going bad, that's right, it's your last time though. Yeah. It was going bad. I just figured out drinking election. It's like I'm going to be drinking. Look, let's all. That's what I mean. No matter how it goes.

That's, let's not, let's not, let's not lose track of what's important. No, that's what I mean. Whether it goes good, whether it goes bad, I think you're going to be drinking. Yeah. I don't know which way I'm going to be drinking more to be honest. I'll probably drink more of it goes well because it probably goes badly. Well, because then you'll get all fired up and get on social media. If you have any left, yeah. If I have any, if I didn't win, they're just going to wipe us all out. It's going to be just gone. Yeah. But you'll only have, you'll only have my accounts. No, they'll be gone too. I can say, because they'll be eliminated from life

and from being online. If Biden wins, it'll be the all men are gone. Good bye. So the podcast will be over. Yeah. If Biden wins, this podcast will be totally eradicated from the face of the earth.

Oh no. I will only be available through the Blockchain satellite network. The Bitcoin satellite network, are we gonna have to get a yacht and go to Cuba or do it in international waters? What's your definition of a yacht? Like, I mean a dinghy. A day like just, you know, rip off somebody's Boston Whaler and head out to the SIS. God!

I had a, you know what, you know what happens on a regular day when we're recording at 11? What? There is no chance that I'll be inside of a target before we do the show. Oh, is that what I am? You know what happens when we do the show at 1 p.m. on a Sunday?

You've been in a target? Chance I'll be in, I'll have been in a target. Well, yeah, what'd you have to go to target for? What do you, has anyone ever had to go to target, Sean? No, but you never, what did she have to go to target for? I could go, I would rather go to target. That's why you had to go to target. And beg for the supplies that I need

or go rooting through garbage or sift through the sewer system with a net to pick out unused scraps of toilet paper to replenish myself than ever set foot into a fucking target. Why are you getting T.P. at target? You know the women, they love going to target.

Love it. Coming up with excuses for it. Mm-hmm. They love it. Right. Because of the quote unquote, convenience of it. Got it. Never is convenient though.

I got to show you this thing that I saw on Target. Let me start the show. Look at this fucking thing that I found. This is what I fucking found at 40 years old in a Target. Grab that. Yeah! How are you? You want to get in here?

You get it? That's shit! Where is the contest going? I'm from Mount Burger. I Wondering if you want to get you get you get it if I show What is a contest gonna be live from Mount Burger? Even the heart of the city failure. I mean how's it going? Okay, the $20 million man America's ours the max again 81 weeks running Jesus Christ joining me like usual back and the studio is LA-based comedian

Sean world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer hello my middle-aged friends oh god no thank you and I'm killing yourself I'm I'm God you know what I realize that 40 I've been 5 had it all wrong at 30. The age of a relevance. I thought I had it all fucking wrong.

At 30 I said these hangovers are lasting days and days at 30. God what's gonna, and it's gonna, I know it's gonna get worse and now I'm realizing at 40, they just never go away. I'm gonna be hungover and sore and I found myself walking with my hand pressed against my back Like an old Chinese woman and I didn't know why I was I didn't know if I was doing it ironically Or to be funny or because I was afraid at any moment that my fucking spine would give away and I would collapse in half like Like I said like I'm a like a crummy phone you're gonna have to start carrying like a bundle of sticks on your back. You're gonna be in that position. My friend. Did you fucking oh for the one thing I know at 40 now I have got

total I have one total what is it what? What, total awareness and epiphany? Is that I have received total consciousness. I guess right, because you're almost on your deathbed. It's not about live, I've outlived every ancestor ever and they say, where the wisdom on the ancestors, I'm not older than all of that. Yeah, okay. And I don't have to explain myself ever.

I understand that fully now. No boy. Never will I have to explain myself again. myself ever I understand that fully now. No boy. Never will I have to explain myself again. I just go you shut the fireman charge. That's the worst way you could have gone. I'm in charge now. I'm fucking 40.

I'm too old to be anything but right all the time. Shut up and get back to work. What's changed? Now I feel it. No, no, feel it now I know down in my bones Show what what do you like you're 30 when you get older? I'm as old as it gets now you fuck shut up Shut the fuck up. I'm in charge now. You fucked everything up You're fucking ruined the world you're ruined the economy you ruined these you raped these kids Shut up

Shut the fuck up you had you had ten years when you were 40 to figure it out now You're nothing and you 30 your whole stomach. What the fuck you talking about Did you see this thing? I saw it talking Jesus God Christ novel. Congrats on adulting with Nike, the victorious goddess, angel throwing her hands up. Congrats on adulting. And you know what the worst thing is about this trophy. Some are missing Sean. Some pigs waddled their way into target

and body. Other congratulations on adulting trophies for $12 fucking dollars. And you'd think this country needs another bailout. The 1% needs a bailout. Anybody that goes to Target and buys this needs to be kind of pelted into the fucking sun. Congrats on adulting. Congrats on adulting. And this has a microchip in it.

Look at this, is it on there? Congrats on fucking adulting And this has a microchip in it. Look at this, is it on there? Congrats on fucking adulting. There's a microchip in this trophy. So does it get stolen? And you buy it. Oh boy. They send over a pack of, they've sent over a pack of murderous 12-year-olds

that have been trained as child soldiers since birth. There are the Mexicans that the coyotes leave at the detention centers that are south of them that are just on the border, you know? They built Biden and Obama were out there they picked up some cages from home depot and strapped them together and then Respect that each other's cocks when they got done and then they started dumping Mexican cats and zip ties Yeah, I can't get enough zip ties read but you know they didn't read any instructions. Oh They're just got some train like over here You know you should have their men you don't read instructions instructions. Oh, yeah, that's strong. I got there. I just got some train link over here.

You know, you should have there men, you don't read instructions. The kids, how hard could it be berry? How hard could it be berry? They send them, they train those kids and then they send them after you. Every pig that buys one of these, they send them their front door and they, and they eat them. The children eat them like piranhas. The children eat the pigs.

Eat the fat pigs and what buy, they start, they jump on their backs and tear. Who would buy this? I don't know. If you told, if you came to me with this idea, and say, I got a great idea for a trophy, it's gonna say congrats on adulting, and it's gonna be a trophy, like, you know, when you're a kid and playing T-ball or whatever, and they give you a sad brings one of these in by the box,

and you think that they come from some kind of, like, trophy agent consortium that deals out awards, not knowing that it comes from some chronicle, like trophy store in a strip mall that doubles as a meth dealership at night, not knowing these things, not knowing what you're being trained, not knowing that you're being trained on awards and crap that you're being trained to collect crap

from an Earth, from his age as early as four or five for the rest of your fucking life. Right. Oh, you guys are proud of me, and this is why this piece of garbage that some idiot bought at a fucking strip mall. Plastic piece of shit. Plastic piece of shit. And I got to hold on to this for how long forever. Yeah. You know, every time I go home, I see all the old trophies there in the yard because my parents don't want to give rhythm, I guess. My dad made a sculpture

garden and just basically threw them in the yard. And I'm like, really? This is outside? Yeah. And this is fucking horrible. What are you doing? It's terrible. That's like, that's got to look terrible. It's, it's, it's, it's preposterous. It's preposterous. That's happening. It's a bunch of fucking trophies outside the yard.

It's a sculpture garden. My god, hilarious. We got fucking hilarious. Oh, we got, let's see, we wrote down and, and a T-ball. Yeah. So we want to cut their arms off. Why? T-ball ain't no fun.

I have no, stupid idea. Oh, happy Halloween. Yeah, happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Did everyone have, I guess that happened. Sucking their own cock and staying inside and dressing up and posting on Instagram. There's a lot of people out in my neighborhood. A lot of people.

Was there really. Yeah, I don't know if my nephew's got to go out my little the band-aid I'm the littlest one dressed up as Santa Claus for Halloween. I'm not even sure he's doing it ironic. I'm sure he's doing it. He hasn't been he hasn't been tested for anything. That's it. He wrote fuck you and they gave him an autism test.

He's fine. He's fine. I like the I like the I like the mixing of holidays. Happy whole Halloween. It's like, man, yeah. That kid. It's so annoying. It's so annoying what you're doing.

You know that everybody fucking, you know that Christmas starts too early. So you started it. That motherfucker started Christmas in July. He started putting, he put a Christmas tree up in his room and July says, yeah, love Christmas. Boy, he starts seeing the ads too, you know. It's great, it's great time.

Never too early. Santa Claus, what do you want to be for Halloween? Santa Claus. Santa Claus. Love it. Hilarious. Okay. No shit, you fucking sure.

Do you have like a fat suit? God, I don't think so, no. No, I don't know. You have a, you have a, I know they have fat suits for kids. It's probably, poor body image for children. Yeah. have fat suits for kids. It's probably poor body image for children. Yeah. Probably fat suits for kids.

You can't do that. Santa is, did you see they had some kind of genderless Santa? We talked about that in the photo. Yeah. Yes. Um. Four years old. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for buddy I know, to send a video, it's a great idea. Well, I mean, you're gonna shit on it somehow. No, it was wonderful.

Okay. And it would have been, you didn't tell me, right? You knew how for how long? Well, a few weeks, I think. A week takes a lot of time to get it together, right? Well, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what the end result looked like, but I mean, I'm sure collecting and-

A little long. Everybody could have cut their video down by half. You know what's what I was like, should I do it? Should I do one shorter? It's like, no. I see I felt it. I was like, there's got a lot of people are going to do this. Yeah. Yeah. The end result was 45 minutes long. Yeah. I mean, you know, that moment in a video where you're like mousing over the video, it's like, just see what's coming up next. Yeah. And it's really, yay.

So we're a fifth of the way through this thing. And she, you know, she's an ass area as well. So anybody who's veto sent in two takes of his, so she let's talk about them both in there. She's not the best. Like whatever you sent, that's what is going in. And she didn't do that to everybody. Yeah. Somebody else, who else sent more, uh, some, uh, Randy sent, well, she only did that to

Vito. So here I'm going to Vito. Yes. Something, because he's like a presenter. So it also had like a presenter, Vix, he's like, okay, I'm gonna do a second one. Hey buddy, it's here, it's just hilarious. It was hilarious. I mean, because it was funny.

That's why she did it. And it would have been such an incredible surprise, but for some reason, for some reason on last Sunday after the episode that you weren't at, which was what was the number of last Sunday? I guess 25th, the day of, it was the 25th. My birthday is on the 29th, right? So 80s girl starts doing these things for like weeks

because everybody's got better things to do than leave a dead man a message, right? Not even knowing, not even being sure if I would get it. She starts doing this early. For some reason on the 25th, now she's got other, she's like Justin Wang, she's got all kinds, people on the internet, people who listen to the show, my family, she did my family dirty too.

They were like, okay, ready, go. And then start the video, and she left all of that in. So I wasn't sure what kind of editing process there would be. I was going to do it. She knows how to edit it. Yeah. God. So on the Sunday of the 25th, last Sunday, which is four days before my birthday, I get this

on Twitter, the new Twitter, by the way. Yeah. Old one is eradicated. Right. Cantillians sends me this on Twitter. Hey, man, sounds like parts of your birthday were good. Glad you had a good time. This is from cantilians.

Hope you liked the birthday messages. It was nice of 80s girl to set that up for you. What the fuck? What the fuck? It was like when my brother showed up in Chicago and somebody was like, hey, I met your The fuck? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It was nice of 80s girl to set that up for you. When did you think your birthday was? Well, clearly not yet, or it had passed already. I don't know. Yeah.

So I said, oh wow. I don't know what you're talking about. My birthday is not for a couple of days. What did you say? And you said, oh, don't tell her, oh God, don't tell her I said anything. So I closed it, I went out, I went about my business. Then the next day, but you immediately ran and told her,

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't, because I think I was drunk. I didn't, I woke up the next day, and I didn't remember any of it. There's a lot was happening. I was coming back from the desert. When you come back from the desert, you realize how little you care

about anything that goes on in the world. Anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you go on, I go on, I don't care at all. I don't even fucking care who wins the election. That's funny, specifically the desert, because I've got friends who love like just going out to the desert, that kind of, where it's different than like the forest

or going camping in the mountains. It's like it's so like it's just stark and like minimalist and... Absolutely. You really do that. It's almost like they feel like they detached the most in the desert. Yeah. So I was still reeling from that. I'm like, I don't care.

Whatever. Like, I'm just gonna do what you want me to do. I'm not gonna do anything dumb. We're not gonna be jerk about it. And I wake up on Monday and I see Cantillian's has messaged me again saying, also, don't tell 80s girl, but I'm sure you already did. You asshole. And I see Cantillians has messaged me again saying, also don't tell 80s girl, but I'm sure you already did, you asshole. And I had forgotten about it.

And yeah, right. He tried to, you know, the next day, he thought about your regular behavior and outsmarted himself. The next day, Zigg, and then he Zigg. And his, and is, he's to his, he and there, and his video was also, I think he in there and his video was also I think the longest his video

With the worst audio Cantilly and if he's there I don't want to see if he'll call in and we can make fun of them Let's see the Dodgers won the world series that was Once they don't get cheated out of something see the commissioner booed with She did add to something to see the commissioner booed with Vitriol it what I mean Vitriol like booing it. I think he was shocked like just how you know There are 11,000 some odd people in the stadium and I think every one of them was booing and they also had a ventriloquist dummy also booing you know thing the sound guys right there

No, no, it was pretty fucking great. No, I'm sure they pushed it, but it was like, I was like, it was rain and boo, that was fucking beautiful. Oh, struck out looking. Oh, the last, right down the middle. Yeah, boo. Oh, God. The fucking, but I was watching it on the fuck sports, whatever app, and hilariously,

something that they haven't quite mastered in the, this new streaming digital age is that the app is about 10 seconds behind everybody else in a fucking world. Yeah. So every fucking out, I get a text from Randy immediately. Randy on every fucking day. And look out. Oh, five more hours. Like, well, he's still got, he's still got to full count to me. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, look, I look at the text, miss the pitch, look back at the pitch, balls in the air. What a fucking wonderful experience. Last, last pitch of the game, I'm geared up, oh man, here it is. I don't really watch that much baseball, but I'm excited at this because we have fucked out of it for three years, the three important years as hasn't happened in there.

Here we come, here we come immediately, fireworks start. I'm like, you gotta be fucking shitting me. Yeah. You gotta be fucking shitting me. Yeah. This is how I found, there it is. Strike, look, well, wonderful. Thank you, fuck, sports.

Thanks for ramping up the fucking bandwidth on that. I'm so glad there's a 10-second delay in case somebody sneezes and they've got to cut it out. Yeah. So to be one, home, don't get freaked out that COVID, it's pretty all around the field. And they would have they pulled turn around in the eighth inning.

In the eighth, excuse me. I read that there's a computer program that can detect if you have COVID by the sound of your cough now. How about that? I have not heard that. I just read it today. They pull them out.

He runs out on the field celebrating which you would think after he was gone and then which came back. He was gone for 10 minutes. So think, yeah, because if he had it, he has it, right? Yeah. Everyone who was with him was exposed. All the teammates, you retarded assholes.

Where they're where they're pissed off about was that there were a bunch of people who weren't officials Security well go that kind of stuff the field the fields for the players and they just won the world series and they're celebrating go fuck go fucking go jump into a fucking Combine you asshole go jump into a tire shredder a calm. I Can't believe you would go out there It's a world series you've never done anything in your fucking life, but bitch on my fucking you, excuse me. Very upsetting to see people shit on him. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck up.

Just shut up. Just shut the fuck up. There needs to be some serious education around the whole testing procedure. I just want to hear one person say, you know, it also, it doesn't, it's not just, and that thing doesn't just detect infections, it also detects like dead viral DNA that you just have.

Like they're not fucking around with that test. If you have any RNA that's in there, it'll replicate it 10 million times, and that's positive. So just fucking, just dial it back a little bit. Cause you don't know what the fuck you are even hearing. Keep that in mind. Yeah, it depends on the type of test too. But but they um anybody test. Yeah. Infection test. Now, uh, take it with a grante. At least understand the mechanics of it before you're sitting on a world series champion.

You can't, yeah, you can get false positives. You can also get false negatives, which I, which for a while, I didn't think was possible, but you can get false negatives because a virus hasn't, the viral load's not large enough. Like you can also be dead. You can get a true positive test that is a, it's like saying if they found a finger on Mars, like, well, we found, we found a humanity on Mars. Like, well, you found a finger. That's not, it's a, it's something was there to not,

something could have put that, like, that Mars could have breathed that finger in somehow. Anyway, that was great. Turnig in, didn't like that. I did like to say, well, after the last picture's thrown, there are players or private citizens. Thank you. Thank you for giving us the Rand Paul Gay Marigay answer. Yeah, I guess it pitch is thrown there, players are private citizens. Oh, thank you.

Thank you for giving us the Rand Paul gay marriage answer. Basically, but thank you. But their employees of Major League Baseball. So I don't know. Is like, does Major League Baseball last pitch? Does Major League Baseball get in trouble? I don't know. I have it.

There's dancing. I really have a carrot. You said, so assuming. I really have a carrot. I'm like, well, you know, that's, it's what he did. He did. Yeah, shut the fuck up. I would like to have Bill Murray back.

I don't know if we can, I know the female devil has, I think, stolen his soul for some reason. Really? Really aware of this? No. No, that Bill Murray is not, is not capable. He's not allowed to be funny anymore. He's only allowed to star in movies across from pre-postment appausal women who spend two hours bitching about their lives and how hard.

It's, Bill Murray is only allowed to star opposite, frumpy female comedians who are pretending to have it hard, even though, even though they have the dream life of being not being slightly less than funny and being famous in a woman that nobody wants to fuck. That is the jackpot. What's the jackpot? On the rocks, I think it's called, there's no new movies, right? So any new movie that comes out, you'd come out to watch, you can't avoid it. Yeah, yeah.

It's Bill Murray, that bitch from the office, Rashida, the black, the half black one. Oh, Rashida Jones. Yeah. And Marlon. Okay. Marlon Wains. Marlon Wains. Who do a incredible job for two hours of trying to not be funny with Bill Murray. It's really whatever, I don't know what happened to that guy, but that he is not allowed to be, I think he's still mistaken. I think his soul must have been taken. There must be something compelling him to over and over waste his twilight years in movies with female celebrities who are pretending to have a hard life. And I can can't I can't fucking take it anymore

I can't watch him trying to drag these pre-post-menopausal women with him out of depression This pretend depression that he is lugging these corpses of femininity out of I don't know what it is. Just be in a movie with a man for God's sake, Bill be in a movie with a fucking man for once. I just think it's a paycheck. It's like, why do I like, why do we need a paycheck? Because you just, Morgan Freeman explained it, he's like, you just, actors act, he's like, you just say, he's like, oh, you just say, yes, it's work. You just say, yes, you know, that some people just do that. Whether they, whether they needed or not. It's killing me to see.

It's killing me to see him like this. St. Vincent. What is it like? Early 70s? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he's transitioning. Here's something else I,

else I, that makes me rage in movies. When they don't say how late they are, they'll show up to dinner and say, sorry, I'm late. But they don't ever say like how late they are. In the movies. to dinner and say, sorry, I'm late. But they don't ever say, like, how late they are. In the movies? Yeah. Like, are you seven minutes late?

Oh, are you? Like when somebody's waiting for something and somebody comes and kind of hairy to me. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm late. I'm like, oh, you know, like, well, how late were you? Yeah.

Just give me a number. Some kind of, I need to, I need, I need to know that 15 minutes. Yeah. Obviously, less, I mean, it would be less than an hour, 50 minutes, probably less than a half hour. How late were you? Because otherwise, there would be something in the plot

that it's like, where the fuck is he? It's, you know, I've got to- Sorry, I'm 12 minutes late. You want, thank you. You want that? I need that. I need it. I'm not enjoying the movie.

There's no possible way for me to enjoy a movie again. For the, I know that I'll never again in my life enjoy a movie. Let me put it that way. Well, that's something that goes away at 40. Yeah, I understand. I don't need, I'll watch them anyway. I'll pirate them. You know, I'll pay for it, I don't care.

I know I'm not gonna enjoy any of it. I need, I need a couple things. What about the movie you're gonna make? I'm not gonna watch it, but Vito. I can't watch it. I'll just make it short. You can't watch her on art. No, I can't.

I'm just like, what is this guy? There's like directors, you get home. They can't go see it at a theater. You know? I can't listen to the show, you know, I can't do that. Yeah, no nut, no nut, no Vemper. Is that a thing again? Yeah, it's a thing.

How did this start and why? It started because everyone's a homosexual. And they want jerking off to be a team activity that they can do with other men together. So they created no nut, novmber, to talk about how much they enjoy masturbating together, to give it the veneer of non homosexuality when it is in fact a homosexual, a hobby exclusively for homosexuals to engage in. So you're not supposed to jack off in November, is this? Yeah, no nut or you just can't.

What? Not. That's what it is. Why? Compulsion. I don't know. I don't know, but I hate it. I really, I really hate it.

I've heard it. And it's it's a literate, a literative, right? So it's like, that's what they, yes, that's, that's like the mark of something dumb, and that a lot of people are gonna get into. They sell trophies for it at Target. Congratulations, you know, knotted this November. Good for you, you have, good for you, you have no nuts.

Good, if you're engaging in no, no, no, November, I hope you, you know, no nuts I hope you, I hope you achieve your dreams and, and don't nut because, and have no nuts. Just November. Good for you. You are, Ferry. We'll just come and just remove them. Remove the seamen from your testicles with syringe or something.

You fucking oddball while you sleep. You're a, while your puritanical lack of masturbation is a team sports, a team activity that you're engaging in with other gay men online. Congratulations. Congratulations. You had no nuts this November. Yeah. God for fucking out. Um, there you go.

How about that? A friend of mine got a letter from a school. No, this year, um, that said no aggressive costumes for school like cops or superheroes. So you know what that young man went to school dressed as? Jesse Jackson. Oh, that would have been better. That would have been better. That young man got to go to school.

His parents took him to the Halloween party store and him and his little sister. And you can imagine it. Lauren Averbron. No, not that kind of party store. The actual party store. And there was of course a a posity of costumes left over, right two days before Halloween. Oh yeah. The little girl managed to find one. Princess Jasmine and immediately she recognized the property. The intellectual property and said, I'll have that one. Yes. Well, that's their mom said, well, okay. How cute this will be. Kitto, why don't you get to go as Aladdin? So you are now going to school as Aladdin. These are your friend's kids. Sorry to say. You can you get to go as a laddin' to accompany your little sister.

Who is Jasmine, the love interest. Right. Your love interest in this movie. I see. And you're older so you'll be in a different grade. So you just get to go to class as a laddin'. Right. Try not to get, here's some, here's some mace.

Try not to get your ass kicked. Right right like you know you deserve and I know Where are the where the ages approximately? five five and eight okay, I have the very yeah very kind of what I was thinking Yeah, the kids that well do I get to do blackface if I'm like Justin Trudeau and he said absolutely not no no because that Because that's not that's not historically accurate either. So you may ask why Justin Trudeau was even doing that. Yeah. Your guess is as good as good as mine.

Sean Connery died. Yes, he did. So, was he 90? I don't know. I think he was 90. Smack your wife and remembrance of your woman of smack. That's what I'm talking about. I'm sure you need a smack.

Right. Keep believe that was you need a smack. Right. Keep believe that was on TV. Yeah. Yeah. We got to talk about that as a nation. Yeah, I do. We got to agree with them. Do you remember that?

I secretly, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You could say it. You could hint at it. I mean, you know, you know, you just said we're all thinking. You know, he's from a little peg. I mean, he's old school, you know. Little bit of that might, you know, salsa and vest disputes.

Guys can't do that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you gotta give her a smack. Well, I'm gonna have to show them to you. Yeah, right.

That was a Barbara fucking Walters interview. Yeah. That was great. Now, Trump's gonna say, I fucking hate Barbara Walters. She deserved a smack. She sucks. Yeah. She was, that was, she was young too. She deserved a match. She sucks. Yeah.

She was, that was, she was young too. I mean, she's a corpse now. She was 50 something probably when she was young. Ish. Same age as me. There's no age. 40, there's no ages after that. You just stop.

You're a city. You're as old as anybody else. 20 years and 40. I'm this age until I get free coffee at McDonald's. Um. Yeah, the whole nation got to get together and agree that sometimes that, well, he said it. We got to agree that he said it at least.

Right, you know, you extrapolate that out how you, how you may, how you may. Yeah. Now if that happened to you, he's like, well, he didn't mean that. Ah. That's not what he said. Well, I know.

They cut that. I know. We can't. No, no. Trump didn't say anything. Trump just never grabbed a woman by the pussy. What are you talking about? He's saying, you let you. That was Sean Connery.

Yeah. We've turned into, yeah, until I'm on, no, no, no, no. From from from. Oh, let's see what else I got here. Steven Universe, let's get married PSA. That's pretty good. You want to check that out? Sure.

Steven Universe. Yeah, I'm aware of it. That's pretty good. You want to check that out? Sure. Steven Universe. Yeah, I'm aware of it. The pedophile show. We watched a clip where somebody jumps into somebody's pussy. Yeah, they totally did. I saw that. People said it was more like crazy. It was more like, wow, that was more seen.

More obvious than I thought. Yeah, I undersold it. Yeah. I really did. I told Merch to call in at, oh, cantillions is in here. Let's watch him. Let's watch this and then we'll talk to cantillions. Okay.

Cantillions the fuck up. Fuck up. Cantillions. Oh God. You really put the can. How long was his video? Really put the can. Can you see how long, can you see how long it was?

Can't tell you his video for my birthday was longer than my entire family put together. Longer than my dad's video. Did they just use the same phone and just like go from there? Yeah, no. That seems like something they might do. No, my mom, no, they know not to ever cross their ideas over. Really? Yeah, they are putting out director's cuts.

There's no crossover happening in their visions. My mom took her whole thing with my baby picture as a backdrop. Like, okay. Setting a, you know, and then my dad used, my dad used it as a con. He was probably in his car. No, he was in front of his front door

that he just painted. And most of the presentation was about the door. Gotta make it about him. Yeah, you wanna say, by the way, check out the store that is painted and I've got this topiary right next to him. Like, okay, well, I believe. Yeah, I believe.

All right, let's see if we can do this. Oh yeah, there it is. It's called be anti-racist. Okay. Now, you remember, I don't know if you, I don't know if you remember this, but there were PSAs that we had to watch as children that the cartoons would put out to brainwash us, that we grew up and realized as we grew up that even at the time we thought this was the most condescending, this was just to make fun of them all the time. That we mocked and reviled the message contained therein.

This was made by people who are not affiliated with the show. They're co-opting our characters and trying to feed us trash and I hate it. It makes me want to do drugs. Seeing sergeant slaughter bust out of a bust into a ISIS stronghold, kick their ass, and then take the opium and throw it away and say, don't do drugs to kids made me think, I want to go join ISIS and do as many drugs as possible and traffic drugs into the country to spite you. I hate you.

Don't ever touch my characters. Sarge Slotter. So you remember Sarge Slotter? Of course. He was on GI Joe sometimes. Yeah, they did, right. They took him. They integrated him in there, huh?

Mr. T would do that too. Was he on, was Mr. T on GI Joe? No, he had his own cartoon. Oh, he didn't know. I know, he was, he was a gymnastics team. Yes, I know exactly. He had his own cereal. Yeah, yeah.

It was a good cereal. I don't know. I never had it. Don't do drugs. I'm like, Mr. T, no offense, but fuck you. Yeah. I don't ever, don't ever drugs. I'm like, Mr. T, no offense, but fuck you. I don't ever, don't ever talk to me about my life choices again. Okay.

You can show me, but don't ever tell me. Yeah. Don't ever tell me. Don't talk to me like that. You're not my dad. You're wearing 50 pounds of gold around your neck. You look like a prostitute, Mr. T. Okay.

You're showing, you're showing more skin than a stripper. I'm getting on a pain, Hannibal. You have obvious body dysmorphia. Okay, you're showing more skin than a stripper. I'm getting on no pain, Hannibal. You have obvious body dysmorphia. You can go fuck yourself if you're gonna tell me what to do. If you're gonna tell me what to do with my life, you can shove it so far up your ass that Hannibal it needs to come up with a plan to get it out of there.

He's a fish it out with his cigar. Yeah, fuck you. Don't ever talk to me about what I'm, don't ever talk to me about drugs. I'm gonna do them, I'm gonna do them. And quite frankly, you know what? Why don't you start, tell me how liquor's different than this weed you're telling me not to do.

Murdoch, I'll have to fly up his ass and retrieve it. So this is, this is Steven Universe, this is the new, they kept doing them. They decided they were such a great thing to do when we were kids that they're gonna keep doing the the PSAs we did just make fun of all of them yeah they're dumb I think I think use has skyrocketed I think we thought we were supposed to you know like yeah like this is so stupid yeah mom get control of this yeah for how the time you're like six seven years old and then you you know, here's been, you know, junior high in high school, you're watching those fucking stupid things with

your buddies. I mean, here's what they're doing in kids now. Now, when I see this, you tell, you tell me what it makes, you feel like, because I'm looking at this through the eyes of a child who is, who is going as Santa Claus to Halloween. Yeah. What are you going to, what are you got to, what are you going to make of this little one? What's the little one? What's the little one? What's the little one? The appropriation clearly.

Here we go. This is B-Antiracist. One, two, three. What? It's a little black kid in a white kid. A little black boy and a little white boy holding hands. Let's get married. Win, we're, oh.

Oh. Oh. You can't get married. Why not? Because you're black and he's white. You can't get married. Why not? Because you're black and he's white. You can't marry white people. How do I know that? He's got it from Steven Universe.

Kids. We're now looking at three little boys, by the way. Yeah, so. And the message is that black people can't marry. They've got a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery.

Well, that's the point, I think. Do you think that is that not going to get the question number one? Wait, why is there, what do you, you're just black and white? Yeah, why is, I was making that as a joke, you know, me too. Yeah, black people can't marry while you're going to do a whole like anti gay thing. Wow. Oh, black people can't marry white people. But you don't have a problem with the two little first, first of all, first of all, you don't have a problem

with them that it's encouraging little boys to get married. That's the most fucking offensive part of this ad. Whether they're gay or straight or black or white. Yeah. Little boys should never, you should be, there should be a man in here going, look, look, look, you've got to fight this, or I should have met.

Do you want to look like this? Do you see what this, they see what marriage did to me? Don't you get me, I can't tell you the number of times, like in all seriousness, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have gotten married. I mean, you know, we could be to get, but I just wouldn't have just wouldn't have gotten married. I, yeah, like seriously.

Yeah, I was like, wow, like you're totally serious about that. So then we's got this alien bitch coming in. Oh, I mean already, wow, like, yeah, you're totally serious about that. So then we got this alien bitch coming in. Oh, I mean, already six levels beyond where I would think this is an appropriate thing to tell children. Yeah. Boys should get married, okay. Yeah, are you telling, nobody's going to say it? No one, really, we're in a world where we're in a world where the black people can't

worry white people, but two little boys talking about getting married on a that's that's that's totally unnoticed Nobody would say anything about that. They would another little boy is so racist that he would come in and say Yeah, his mindset is such that he would identify the race first and the gay part second after the fuck kind of bully is this after he karate chopped their union What what sort of progress that this? After he karate chopped their union. Ha-ha-ha. What-what sort of bully is that again? Yeah, right? Right, right. Okay, okay.

Now you see what I'm saying with this, like the inslevel of insanity of these BSAs. Yeah, of course. Yeah. They're holding hands. Right. Two little gay boys. Let's get married.

When we're older. Ha. You can't get married. Why not? Black people can't marry white people. Hey now. It's Garnet from Steven Universe. Kids, don't be racist.

There you go. Cut, don't be racist. Okay, but we just need to get coverage. We're starting getting five. This is the shesiest job I've ever done. Stuff like this doesn't actually happen in real life. Or, what? Or, desert. It, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's jealous, she's, she's jealous, she's and when people act like it's not real, it makes it feel even worse. You have to add to the race. That's a terrible example.

It's a work against it. PSAs are back. I can do that. And then it cuts again. I can't, it cuts again to somebody watching it going. I can't believe how stupid this PSA is. And then she busts in their door. I don't know, Sean.

That's what kids are watching. They're kids are watching. They're kids are watching. I'll educate you. That's what the kids are watching. That's insane. That's so clumsy. Yeah. By the way, I don't know if it's just statistic

that in a racial relationships are, I believe, twice as likely to, the sentiment is twice as likely to be from black people that they disapprove of it than white people. I mean, I don't know. I guess it's random. The fresh prince had an episode like that. Yeah. It was about the time.

It was pitching those ideas. It was D-Drick Bader was the white guy. And like the Will's mom was super like, she's like, you can't marry him? Like, you know, like a, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I was totally like that. She was totally against her sister marrying a white dude. You remember when Will Smith, when Carlton bought that gun,

and Will Smith had this, like, in the hospital. No, man, did you get a bottle of good? Right. That was dumb. Right. That was embarrassing. What a stupid, what a stupid and embarrassing thing to do to try to moralize to people.

Some things don't date as well. It's fucking sick. You'd demented Hollywood freak. Couldn't even try to get Carlton not to buy a gun. You couldn't even satisfy your wife. You fucking degenerate. Well, there you go, that's that PSA. I hope that works out better than the drug stuff, did it?

Because that just made me want to do drugs. I don't know about what that makes kids want to do, but probably not doing drugs. It's my wife's. They must be great. Probably not be anti-racist. All right, what is that? Yeah, that's what that's here. Kentilians.

Kentilians. Oh, yeah, okay. Hey, Cantilians, you there? He's got to turn on his submarine that he uses to call in. You there? Oh, he does, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah. There we go. Okay, you sound okay this time.

You, I was talking about your video earlier. I don't know if you caught any of that. I did. I heard that it's the longest video out of your entire family. You know what, this is what happens when you're a nice guy, okay? You know what, never be fucking nice as a person.

Spoiling surprises. Listen to you for years. Yeah. And I also said that on Sunday, four days before my birthday, what was your message? Hey man, sounds like parts of your birthday were good. Glad you had a good time. Hope you liked the birthday messages. It was nice of 80s girl to set that up for you.

Now when did you think his birthday was? Yeah. I didn't know I thought it was over the burning dick weekend because you know what, that would make sense. Maybe you would go out with all your friends and family and dick show people and enjoy birthday, but no, obviously not. I'm sorry to risk it.

No, because this is a, this is a funeral birthday. You don't know me well enough, but you've made a three minute video and then you're telling it, you're thinking, you didn't think that was risky at all to say that it's risky to make a nice video for you anytime. But say it was nice of her to do that for you. You didn't think that was maybe double check before you throw that one out there. Oh.

Well, but I know this, I'll just have next to next time I make a video for you, I'll just say fuck you, go find yourself with your friends. I think that would have been a lot safer. Well, I can. Maybe when you do a surprise for somebody, wait for them to think, that was the other fucking so I get this video,

a 50 minutes of people telling me that I'm right, oh you're great, you're so fucking great, you made such an impact in my life, I haven't killed myself because of you so many times. Now I gotta go through, I'm thinking in my head, I get halfway through this video, and I'm like, I gotta fucking thank all these people. There you go.

One by, oh, I can't. Now could I live with myself if I didn't do that one by one? Oh, thank you for the fucking video. Thank you for the fucking video. And they're all on different platforms. I don't have all their text. So I got to go on Instagram for something. I can't thank.

Thank you for sending me that video. I guess it's nice to be here. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Well, hey, you know what, take right side. There's one less person yet to thank now because now you make me feel like a fucking retard. So thank you. Yeah, I mean, that makes you rich. I love it. I love it when somebody tries to do a nice thing and they just fucking blow their dick off. He sent me that message. That's so nice.

There, that was nice. It was like an extra nice message too. That message made the whole thing worth it to me. Having to sit through 50 minutes of people wishing me happy birthday, Cantillian's blowing it like the day before, a couple days before, I got that message and I realized what had happened that she had probably been working for weeks to try to secretly get all these messages and then put them together and that's such a pain in the ass and I thought, oh, here it was blowing. And then he reminded you after you had forgotten. secretly get all these messages and then put them together and that's such a pain in the ass and I thought oh

Then he reminded you after you had forgotten Thank you. Thank you. You made it. You made it so much funnier than another wise Then another wise would have been which is not funny at all because it wasn't supposed to be good All right, Kentillians. Do you got anything you make to your age? Yeah, make it real quick sports ball fans. Yeah, work with me here. I was watching World Series at the bar, right? And you know, you go to a bar to watch the World Series.

It's like I can have fun with your friends, right? And then you have these assholes behind you saying, oh, yeah, touch down astros. Yeah, go sports ball. It's like mother fuck you had a sports bar. They're too cool to. They're trying to make it, they're trying to like play up how much they're not into sports. How lame you are for caring. So they fuck you. Exactly. So they can get laid by the hot waitress who doesn't watch sports. Like, oh, yeah. Hey, baby, I don't watch sports either. Yeah. Fuck. Hey, baby, I don't know if you saw my demonstration of how much testosterone I don't have. But if you would like to experience that, if you would like to experience how little I value competition and totally throw like a girl.

Yeah. Check this out. Yeah. Yeah. Baby. look at this out. Look at these limp wrists. Huh? You know, fucking guy with limp wrists. This is how I throw. Look, I put both of my feet together. Look at that. Facing the same direction. Like a weeping willow.

Guess which, guess which hand did I am? You can't even guess, because both are the same way. Right. How do you even arm wrestle? What's, how do you even tell who wins? Look like a, I don't know. Yeah. Look at this.

I look like a retard trying to shoe a B. Physic violence solves nothing. Why don't we, why don't guys just talk it out? So slap fight. Fuck you. Sports. Yeah, that was, that was the entire world series of the spar.

I think I'll never go back to that bar. Oh God, really? The only one that was, that was the only one that was that was the entire world series of the spar. I think I'll never go back to that bar. Oh God really the only one that was that was the only one that was open There was full of a bunch of fucking. I don't know just I'm game or words. So Diversity's not going back anyways. Yes sports ball fans sports ball fans. Yeah, I get it. Goodbye. Cancelians. Thank you. I Sports ball I guess Mersh isn't the... What the fuck?

I know. Well, he was coming in earlier. I think the time changed my domestic a little bit. I don't know. I think the time change of the show might have messed with him. Oh. That's okay. We've got the Tulpa guy who seems fantastic. What's a Tulpa? What is a Tulpa?

I'm gonna let him explain it to you. And then I will re-explain it to you when he butchers it. Oh. It's not, it's something you want. It is. I'll tell you that. You will definitely want one. I will.

Let me see if I've got any more of these. Somebody says, we gonna learn today. Hate crime at home. This is in Scotland. Conversations over the dinner table that incite hatred must be prosecuted under Scotland's hate crime law. Why they take that shit very seriously, don't they? So if you're a goddamn pug, got fucking, what's his face in trouble? Thank you, yeah. Thank you, let's fucking pug couldn't control himself on film. She knows there's cameras everywhere.

So if you a little bastard. So over the holidays, can sig highling while on film. Journalists and theater directors should also face the courts. If their work is deemed to deliberately stoke up prejudice, this guy says, the hate crime and public order bill

has been condemned by critics, including the Scottish Catholic Church, police representatives, academics and artists. Do you really need to like list the people who think this is a horrifying conversation over the Scottish Catholic Church? Bro, you're sitting there and somebody is nothing private anymore? Your whole world, our whole world is now in the hands of the least funny member of your family. Right. Right.

Something has got, something dirty, has got to be done about this. Mm-hmm. This is, we have, we're well past the tipping point where the nemesis, where Al Bundy's nemesis was Miss Blaub, that's pronounced blob, who works at the DMV and has never gotten a joke in her life. There now are jailers and captors.

There are now the judge, Jerry, and executioner. Judge Dredd wears a momo. That's the world that we're fucking living in. Accelerating towards. I know. The frightening pace as the ADL gets their claws and their nose in video games to route out. How do you say with like, okay. I said shoes. Shoes and shoes in video games to route it with like, okay. I said shoes, shoes and shoes in video games to route out the last bastion that boys have

to enjoy themselves without the ever present sneer of some humorless tub. Yeah, we are at the mercy of the people with no senses of humor. You're right. Oh God. Conversations around the dinner table that incite hatred. Mm-hmm. Wow.

I can't imagine. So what? I can't imagine a dinner table conversation that does not incite hatred. Yeah. At least 10% of the time being around your family is the incite, just looking at your face sometimes. Yeah. You're fucking inciting a lot of hatred in me.

You're looking idiot. Don't you dare look at me like that. Who's advocating for that? What group is it? It's called the Scottish government. It's called the UK. No, I mean, who, yeah, I mean, like who's saying, like a politician on somebody's side, sorry, I glossed over the, I glossed over the beginning as I do. Yeah.

You got you decide halfway through if you want to pay attention. Yes. That's good. I do. That's good. Served as cabinet secretary justice. That's this guy who's a party. Yeah. That's him. That's him doing it. Uh-huh. Hmm. Oh, he looks, looks pretty Scottish. I don't know. Yeah. Don't know a lot of Scottish people, but that's what doing it. Uh huh. Hmm. He looks pretty Scottish. I don't know. I don't know a lot of Scottish people, but that's what I think. When I think Scott, yeah, hate crime bill in home.

Oh, so he's okay. Would criminalize tea time chats, claim campaigners. Yeah, shirt certainly would. Well, I agree with this. Common sense has gone out the window. No, no shit. Hentai is banned in Australia.

Really? I don't want to be there. I'm glad they banned me. I don't want to be in no shit. Hentai is banned in Australia. Really? I don't wanna be there. I'm glad they banned me. I don't wanna be in a country where Hentai, why would they, huh? I'll give you one guess. I'll give you one guess why. Anything's banned ever.

Yeah. Why, why do you think it's banned? Cause it's fun. Guys are the chill bands. Yeah, I know. Guys are the chill bands. Hentai, ban Australia. Japanese pornography known as Hentai. ban, Australia.

Japanese pornography known as Hentai, they have to write that so everyone can pretend that they don't beat off to it all day. Japanese pornography known as Hentai is now banned in Australia because it depicts sexual images of children, rape, incest, and sex abuse. That's great. Australia's border force has blocked any hen-tie pornography from Japan. Popularity. So it's animated form.

This right there, animation. What you're looking at right now, that's banned. Yeah. Because it's what they said, everything bad that they said. Yeah. Rape, inc bad that they said. Yeah. Rape, incest, sexual abuse. They kind of, I feel like they just kind of tack things on to the end.

You know when they do that? Because they pick things through. Sexual images of children. Like, whoa, wow, rape. Wow, where you mean, it's kind of, it could be hard. Most of the time, it's, you know, it's not real, is it not? Insist. Like, well, I, it's not really incest.

It's like a, it's a, nobody actually wants to do. It's the chemicals and there's fair amounts that counteract wanting to do. Insexual abuse, like, well, I just talked about sex. You can name a million acts. Yeah, right.

And somebody goes, that's abusive. Yeah, give me a break. Just stop at the one. Yeah, leave it alone. Don't pretend like you have a whole list. Well, it's like a, you know, when you're waiting to make a left turn on a yield light, you know, and then you're like three or four cars back.

And you're like, I'm attached to this car in front of me. Yeah. I'm going to hit the train. Didn't you know that car in front of train? Yeah, I'm going to it's a train. Didn't you know that car in front of train? Yeah, I'm going to get some more. We're drafting. I'm saving. Right, right, right.

I know that it's well written in the red by the time I get used to children. Wow, good rape. And I'm squeezing through as the section of abuse went too close. I'm hooked on his bumper. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. What else do I have? Something about the Fed. God. The Karen Act. I'm hooked on his bumper. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. What else do I have something about the Fed? God, the Karen Act, the Fed. I'll just have so much shit that I'm pissed on.

Yeah. Central bank currency. I saw I woke up to this one and I almost just went back to sleep forever how the Federal Reserve working from home prevented a US economic collapse. That's how they, that's what they're saying they did. And they did it from home. Isn't that remarkable that the Fed was able to just leverage our

children's labor for an immediate capital for the stock market? Didn't even have to leave the fucking home office. They could do this from home. They somehow managed to sell the wealth of your children's labor to the stock market. They somehow managed to do this incredible task of delivering trillions of dollars in future wealth to current, the current members of the 1% and actually probably 0.01%. They managed to do this from their own home. It's remarkable how they were able to do this. I cannot fucking, but yeah.

What did they use zoom? What did they have to do? Should to do this herculean remarkable feat of delivering the wealth of your children to the 1%. How did the please tell me more about how they do? What a great thing you know. We should all be so efficient. Yeah. Oh, they slash interest rates to near zero you know, I've got so efficient. Yeah.

Oh, they slash interest rates to near zero. Oh, I see. They may say, oh, I see. They made saving cost you money. I'm amazing that they could do that from home. Amazing. They added three trillion in assets to his family. Oh, that's wonderful that they did that. Can't believe that they did it.

I don't know. I think they nationalized the economy. So they did, right? I don't think there is anymore. There's no more capitalism. It's all, it's been nationalized. The Federal Reserve completely nationalized it. They killed all of them. They killed all of the mom and pop stores, all of them. They're none of them are coming back. They gave it all to Amazon. And then they decided that the, they decided that all of the index all of the index funds all of the biggest stocks in the country are now entirely under their control and a series of quantitative easing measurements that will last until the end of time. They've there is no more never never again or at least not for our lifetimes.

Well, we have capitalism in America again after what they've done. And it's fucking wild for moving toward that. And then it just accelerated. Oh yeah. Like stepped on. Because 200,000 people, maybe 200,000 people died. I think flu deaths, flu deaths are down by two thirds.

So I guess the lockdowns worked for the flu, but they didn't work for COVID. I don't know. That's how I, because the only other alternative explanation is that all the old people were going to die of fucking flu, died of COVID instead, or they just got miscounted. I don't know how you can just overlook two thirds of flu deaths didn't fucking happen this year. Well, it depends on the flu somewhere between like 20 and 40,000 usually. Yeah. Yeah. Missing a lot of them. I mean a lot of them, not all of them, but we're missing a lot of them this year.

Well, you know, you step with, yeah, we're such a sick country. We're missing a lot of flu deaths. Not dealing with COVID with you. Done with that with you. Don't worry. We traded capitalism for it. Okay, let's get to some comments. And we'll talk to the Tulpa guy. Tulpa guy, you better warm up, man. Don't be stumbling in here. You're told that you're talking to her. Why is he, do you think he's going to be a stumbling?

I mean, he has an imaginary girlfriend. I mean, his head, that's what a Tulpa is. Oh, this is going to be such a great call. You're right. I didn't you tell me. And I understand why I'm gonna want one. Yeah, everybody wants. Are you kidding?

All the best parts of the girlfriend with none of the sex, it's win, win. Peg, advice for the five one guy. Hey, Dick, maybe that five one guy, or the five 11 guy who called in could use the 18K, he saved up to secure a lobotomy instead because he is afflicted by severe retardation. Oh, fuck yourself and have a good week, fellow taco.

I mean, I think one of us put that, you know, put that out last week. I mean, he said it a little more coarsely, but... That's one of the funniest things I've ever read. I was fucking shocked. I'm 5'11. So I'm out, no pussy for me. Yeah.

I mean, I've just shorter the, you know, shorter the height requirement. What do you think about, you know, a leg lengthening surgery? I'm too expensive. That's where I'm going. Yeah, so I mean, take out a loan. What do you, what do you, don't have any money?

Someone will steal it from you. Do you lead with an apology? What do you, what do you don't need, don't have any money? Someone will steal it from you. Do you lead with an apology? You look very pretty, but I gotta apologize in advance. I'm only 5'11". 5'11. Okay, thanks for letting me know in advance. Right, oh good. You're actually bitching on me because I'm only 5'11.

That's not why. Yeah. Alex, tip for fat guys trying to get laid. What's up, Tick and Tron? Here's a simple tip for fat trying to get laid. What's up, Tick and Tron? Here's a simple tip for fat dudes to get laid that I have used successfully. I found picks of an amateur bodybuilder that had a similar face as me and put them on my Tinder for a while. When talking with the woman, I mentioned that I was on a bulk right now on the offseason. Yeah, on a bulk. This is one of the smartest shits I've ever heard.

Okay. Don't just find one that looks like you replace the fucking face. Yeah. Okay. I'm done. I'm saying, I'm saying a nuclear option now on Tinder and whatever, use fake fucking pictures only. And that I was pretty chubby at the moment.

It was enough to get the date. I'm on a bulk right now. Just bulking up. Just to warn you, just to let you know, I don't look exactly like that picture because I'm on a bulk. Yeah. It's totally reasonable.

It's for an acting job. Yeah. I just keep it year round. And I ended up getting my dick wet. Uh huh. Did you slip and fell in the shower? Maybe, it didn't say. Oh no.

Don't, too many euphemisms. I can't never tell. Yeah. Granted. Never heard it didn't say. Oh, no. Don't, too many euphemisms, I can't ever tell. Yeah, granted. Never heard that one before. Getting my dick wet. Yeah, I've heard it before. That was Maddox's whole thing with our relationship. With him and you.

No, that I just used 80s grilled to get my dick wet after the wedding. Oh, yeah. Is that what it, right? Celebrating five years last week, by the way. Granted, she was pretty easy. Well, congratulations Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. they can't get chicks because they aren't over five, they aren't over six feet tall. I ain't no tall privilege. Not in his world. Yeah. Being over six feet tall doesn't automatically make you a pussy magnet. You retards. Yeah, no shit. You have to have a personality and be an

interesting person. I'm six six and I have the same problems as a lot of dickheads with the ladies and I've seen tons of manlets with chicks that are a couple inches taller than them. Whoa, so it's not impossible. Yeah, chicks self-esteem is, I mean, you just, as a man, you cannot understand how devastating a woman's self-esteem is on who she's going to date. You really fucking can't stop looking at memes on forechan that say if you're under six feet tall, you should kill yourself. And if you really want to get laid, lower your standards like I did sincerely, it's just an excuse to not it's just an excuse to not deal with any other reason why you might not be getting

chicks. Yeah, you don't need an excuse to not want to deal with women. Just say that they're annoying and you don't want to put up with it. And it's not worth having sex. Happy fifth anniversary. Being sp. Being tall will inevitably lead to health problems. Oh boy, here we go. Oh, my fucking my tits are so big. My back hurts. As you get older, depends how tall you are. That's driving. So you know, my tits are so big, my fucking bag. Six sixes is tall, but I mean, you know, those guys who are, you know, six, 10 like

they have played in the NBA and stuff, they usually don't live as long. Oh, yeah. How long do they live? Somewhere between a hamster and the average life expectancy. Nick Reccada got something wrong for the first time. What do you get wrong? He sent me a birthday video for the compilation. Yeah.

And he was showing, trying to show off in front of his wife by saying that I'm closer to death. Oh. Right. Yeah. Halfway to, more than halfway to death. Right. However, what he, what he so ignorantly, doesn't, what he doesn't know in his white, in his

white privilege is that Mexicans, the average lifespan is 82. Is that right? Not 79. Oh, yeah. So technically I have another year, Mr. Counselor. Wow. Well, he doesn't see race or ethnicity. Not in Michigan, he doesn't, or wherever he lives.

Minnesota. Minnesota. My knees will be blown, and my back will be blown out by the time I'm 50. See how everything from countertops to tables are at a height for people who are an average of 5.8. But boohoo for you being 5.11. Seriously, fuck that guy who wrote in. I hope he gets his organs stolen.

Oh, geez. He gets his heights. Why, it'd be too small. Yeah. To be of any use. What is this kid be from a guy who's manlover? He's not a good guy. He's in a poodle. Look at this fucking crummy kid. It looks like a fucking kidney bean throwing in a salad or chili.

What is this? A pinkie is for ants? Yeah. How much did you pay for this shit? Yeah. I got it for free off this schmuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was on clearance.

Um, I did can shine. You can credit me as Mr. Saturn. Writing into respond to that dude from last week, whining that he can't get chicks, because he's only 5'11. It's just a 5'11 part. I also can't get chicks. Not counting paying for it.

Oh, what does that even mean? It's a conundrum. Well, last time I got past first base was two years ago on my birthday. I have no dates, no prospects. Fuck, I don't even know how to meet women. And that was before society went insane. And dating became a felony. I don't get it.

I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm well connected with a whole bunch of cool people and communities. Wow. Has anyone else told you those things like anyone? I've heard it. I'm smart. I'm funny. Right. I'm very personable. Right. Including world experts in certain academic fields in a handful of tech millionaires and VCs. I now see the problem. VCs are intolerable. No, no, are they the ones who are, those are his connections. I guess so.

Several notorious hackers, oh, I take back everything I said. People who were written as background characters in Neil, Neil Stephenson novels, some legitimate internet celebrities, Nick Rackett's level, visit their house level close, and some people so well connected as to be in direct communication with Trump's administration. So he's insufferable. You've got a lot of it. He's a notorious hacker. No, I mean, that's it.

These are his friends though. Like, no, he's like, so he's bragging about all to be honest. I hate those. That's all I'm saying is he's bragging about all the circles that he's brought in and stuff. I'm nothing. I don't want to knock people, but I can't fucking hit you. It's too much.

I'm a literal millionaire, plus or minus 2020 stock market, rip my retirement. A millionaire means you make a million dollars a year, it doesn't mean you have a million dollars. Stable successful career, nice house, relatively unbroken family. I've spent lockdown, dieting, and hitting the gym, and while everyone else is getting fat

and developing alcoholism, I've lost 20 pounds and then gained them back as muscle. Well, it kind of sounds like you don't have anything in common with people. Like, I'm finding more, I'm gonna find more friends as an alcohol level, as you will. I have all these high level friends, you know. Yeah, I don't know. He just, he seems maybe a little intense.

Take one of them. What's that? Date one of them. Date one of those people. Yeah, you know. It. He just, he seems maybe a little intense. One of them. What's that? Date one of them. Date one of those people. That's your circle. Right. I'll hit a two plate squat on Friday,

and that's not bad, considering I struggled to do 40 pound squat back in March. And I get nothing. Why? When my ex dumped me, again, almost two years ago, she was pretty blunt about it. I yourself absorbed. I'm not attractive enough.

Oh. No way. No way was that her real reason. A woman after fucking you for a while would say you're not attractive enough. No, that makes no sense. That makes no sense at all. They like dogs with no eyes. They how long? They love dogs with no eyes. How long could he have, you know, he's his girlfriend, but how long you're not attractive enough? Were they ever in a relationship if she said that? I don't know, because I'm approximately Eric Wong sized.

But I've got a long ways to go until I'm Eric Wong level cool. What are you going to bring Eric Wong in there? Yeah, what did we say when we were camping that somebody was tearing ass across the lake. Yeah. And he knew it was coming in tearing ass. What? A car? Yeah, truck or something.

And I turned 80s girl and I said, do you think that's Eric? And she said, we drive, he's got Eric Wong's balls. Something like that. I was like, do you think that's Eric? So, when he drives like, he's got Eric Wong's balls. And I said, what the fuck? What the? Yeah.

What the fuck does that supposed to mean? I don't know. Eric feels pretty good about himself now though. And Eric should have me give me a butt plug for my birthday and like what the? Is, damn, it's like a fucking tag team on your ass. The bad kind. Huh, right in front, you giving me this? Right in front of my girlfriend.

Ah, what the? Well given that suffering from man manless disease is incurable, I got creative and address my problem by buying shoes with three and a half inch lifts hidden in it. Good Lord. I'm like, fucking pee, we hermit, dance it on the fucking table. Three and a half inch lift. Three and a half inch, that's this big.

It's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. I mean, that's, that's a big lift. Where do you get those? Elton John store. Get the laughter, get it out of your system. These things are a fucking godsend from one. I found a brand that makes shoes that hide it really well. What's the fucking brand?

Never take them off. Just naked with shoes on in bed. Fuck that. I want lifts in my shoes. I'll take two inches. Yeah, three and a half. Actually, I mean, the biggest ones are gone. I've been wearing these for almost, that's what you should, people, if you're not going on a job interview, it's like on the inside, right, not like a buildup. I think so. Yeah. If you're not going on a job interview

or like a first date with Lifeson, you're an idiot. You're just giving money away. Or like a raise, hey, I'm here to ask you for a raise. Yeah. I'm a little taller than, it was like a fucking de mentor coming in here.

I've been wearing these for almost a year now and not one single person realized it until I pointed it out. Interestingly, despite, that's funny. Interestingly, despite. He doesn't see his family at all. I can't. Interestingly, despite me overnight growing by a full standard deviation, nobody has consciously

realized this. Are they been too polite to say anything? You're 100% right that women have no idea how tall men are, and it would probably be even easier to cut out the middleman and just like... They're probably like, yeah. Oh man, he's really insecure about his height. Did you notice how he's taller today? It know, it's like, it's like just, you know, don't say anything.

Just let him, I mean, you know, if he feels better about himself, great. Fuck that. He's like, everybody's like, but they're still gonna think he's tall. Your brain, you can't talk yourself out of that. People he knows. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Man, let's get lifts for a day. Oh, come on. Well, you wear lifts for, sure. Oh. It's so funny. Also, well, by it, will you wear lifts for sure? Oh, it's so funny. Also, bonus rage, coronavirus and how we all just live in a police state now, but it's too much of an actual rage for me to make it. Oh, yeah.

How you do? Okay. We do. Uh, you want to talk to the Tulpa guy? Yes. Let's get him in here. Tulpa guy. Tulpa guy.

Hey, what's that man? There he is. Hey, Dick and Sean. Thanks. Meet you guys. Nice to meet you too. How's it going? Nice to meet you both of you. It's a real life by the way. You just called me Tulpa brother whatever you want. Okay. Tulpa what? Tulpa bra. Tulpa bra. Tulpa bra. Cool. All right. Can you tell everybody at home and Sean? What? What a Tulpa is. Yeah. Okay okay, so basically this is like a super imaginary friend. So, no one you're going up, you have like imaginary friends,

but they're not really real. I didn't have any, did you? I didn't either. Yeah, I didn't have that. But I know it's common. Yeah, well for me basically like, I had this like spider imaginary friend, but that wasn't really a Tulpa. I had an imaginary dead family.

Oh shit. All right, that's something. It's the biggest laugh I've ever gotten out of you. Okay, what was your spider? I work here as a spider friend. What was your imaginary spider friend? Like spider man? No, this is literally just like a black widow of spider. It was just watching me.

Like Charlotte's web, like comforting an oi. Yeah, but anyway, that was not possible. Did it talk to you? You're not any weighing over an imaginary spider. What did it talk to you? No, it was just kind of there like in my mind watching me. It was kind of strange actually. Yeah. As a pretty strange kid growing up. Would you imagine that it was in the room or was it just like an entity in your mind? Oh, I guess kind of in my mind, like I'll imagine it like in the corner. I wouldn't actually see it in the corner, but was it big?

That's, um, I'll just like a regular size spider. Okay. Uh, what would it, what it interact with you at all? Did it have any kind of a personality or disposition or? No, so that's why it was just an imaginary friend and not a told pull because it was just like kind of there. It didn't really do anything. Okay.

Just watching me. Okay. So then at some point you said I got to upgrade. Yeah. So a tall pull is just an upgrade of that as a super imaginary friend. So you make like a space in your head. So like in your head space, you just like create a personality. How do you do that?

And that takes a lot of work. Like the stuff was like blowing up on the X paranormal board on Fortune. Like, okay. Around 2012, that's when I got interested in it. And then a bunch of weird shit happened at the end of 2012. Like, you know the whole 12, 21, 2012 apocalypse thing. You remember that?

Yeah, I remember. Yeah, what the, my encounter, the my encounter, they only did it up to like 2012 and everybody thought that was going to be the end of the world. Right. And then really understand there. I was putting up a lot of the old ones. Sandy Hook shooting shit happened too. So yeah, basically I got like super fucking delusional and all paranoid and shit and like I had to stay at two separate stays at a mental hospitals. Really? Well, how long were you in the mental hospital? What did they give you?

Did they die? What did they die? No, see, was everything? They like gave me, let's get the front end. And stupid ass joke called a resparidone or a resparidone. Yeah, I know what it is. I might wait from like 130 pounds to like 180, but they got on like a tall six foot Filipino dude,

so I just kind of spray so. Okay. How long were you in the mental institution? A couple times he said how along? First time was like this is actually pretty shitty because it happened during Christmas So like Christmas was pretty much canceled because of as basically my fault. Everybody goes all crazy on the holidays. I can't blame you for that. Did your family come visit you in the mental institution on Christmas? Yeah, of course because it's Filipino families, you know, like they bring all the food down. Yeah, they bring in some good-ass food

Yeah, that would be yeah, okay. All right, so that happened on Christmas Yeah, second time was like shortly like maybe two or three weeks after I still like super fucking delusional So I stayed on another Mental hospital on the other side of the island because I live on Oahu in Hawaiiusional, so I stayed on another mental hospital on the other side of the island. Cause I live on Oahu in Hawaii. Oh, okay. Oahu Island.

What kind of delusions are you having? Well, the spider, I guess the whole apocalypse shit. And then like, I was paranoid like the government was like watching me for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like a bunch of shit happened in 2012. I don't know why. And then Prism came out and you realized

that they were watching you the whole time. All of us realized that that was actually true. Okay. So then you got better and then you created a super imaginary friend. Yeah, it took basically eight years because like she just popped into existence on October 19th of this year. Had 641 PM. Well, she said 641 PM for some reason, so she, yeah, basically got the time down.

Did you say, October 19th at 641? Yeah, that's not here. She has the same birthday as my dad. How about that? Yeah. And the aim, the ink and calendar, I don't know if it's your astrology, but you should really get into astrology

if you want to talk to girls at all because we say every girl has a birthday. And oh yeah, dude, I know that's true. I know that shit like the back of my hand. It's like the surface level understanding. You can get super into it. That's all they have. So it's all mirrored.

But yeah. I even have banter for the ones who are just curious. Mercury's in retrograde. Mercury's in retrograde. Ah! Well, I sparked out this. Mercury's and retrograde Mercury's and retrograde. Well, I fucked up. As Mercury's and retrograde are I have I haven't heard it a spiel for the ones who are even like just into it, but they don't really believe it,

but they want an excuse to believe it. Okay, anyway, what's your top is name and how big are her tits? Well, I'm so kind of named her after Amazon's Alexa. Okay, that's a joke, but she kind of took to it. That kind of makes it confusing to have an Alexa, doesn't it? Yeah, so my family uses Alexa. So she yeah, she kind of perks up at that, but she knows it's not her that they're talking about. How big are her cans? What's the cans situation? So if you read chat earlier, I did an event to some controversial stuff. So she does just say she's petite Okay, okay

So wait, I want to pop up. Can I back up here for a second? Please do okay? So it took you eight years, and then she just popped into your head. Eight years of like solid effort, but like, what's the effort? The wishful thinking. Is that what it is? You're just, you're kind of wish for an entity to fully formed kind of entity to come into existence in your mind. I mean, are there exercises you do to meditation? Uh, coloring books. Yeah. It's basically a very personalized experience. You could read like a guide on peace bin. I can post that later, but give us some like the bullet points. Um, so I guess like life experiences like this year I was like cat fishing as a girl online.

So okay, I have a fake Facebook account. Like there's like hundreds of more friends than my real account, which actually got banned for some reason. Like you just got primal bad. I can't log into that account anymore. Don't care. Facebook account. What are you doing cat fishing as a girl and Facebook?

Um, I don't know. It's just like got another hobby, you know, just for fun. Like, what is the average day of a catfish on Facebook? What kind of relationships do you have with these people? Just like pulsing like really girly like anime stuff and then talking to people who bothered and messaged me. And they think you still think I'm actually a girl. You know, like, well, I kind of revealed that I'm not really a girl recently. Okay. And everyone killed themselves. I imagine. How many people were you, uh, thought you were a girl? Um, pretty much everyone in my messages, like, I mean, I'm a hundred and twenty. Like, I told them I was a guy. So, like like literally nobody ever found out I'm actually a girl.

All right, actually not a girl online. Okay. Uh, yeah. Don't do that. Please. All right. So what is your, what is your relationship with your super imaginary friend? Like how does she communicate to you?

How does she communicate? Um, So basically I can ask her like questions out loud and she'll communicate in her own mind voice. She kind of sounds like robot. If you ever played like fantasy star online too and you use one of their voices for character creator, she kind of sounds like that. What kind of stuff does she say? Like in the beginning, she, like, if you go into this making like a topa girlfriend, and they're like gonna be your topa girlfriend, so she's like super fucking lude, like, pretty much for any 24 seven. She's always talking about that by like finger banging her. Like, yeah. Okay. How did you do that? Right. So what I do, like, I just like stick my fingers in there, like pointing upwards, like,

what do you mean in there index? When you're in your nose, like, yeah, what? Like you're like you're gesturing to somebody, like, yeah, the come hit their motion. Yeah, you do it in the open air in front of you. Yeah. And then that's, and then she's getting off in your brain. Yeah, that's pretty and then she's getting off in your brain. Yeah, that's pretty much what happens. Okay.

Interesting. What else do you actually have actual intercourse with them too, but that takes kind of effort, I know, a huge imagination. I've done like a couple of a few times. You've done that. Yeah. Like having sex with a bread guy, the wonder bread guy. Yeah. I guess you could say. Do you know other people who've done this? What you're doing with the totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So actually, interestingly enough, I went on like a friend date with a girl who's a friend, not my girlfriend. Okay. She has a boyfriend already, but apparently her boyfriend's like this homeless dude, which is pretty bizarre a physical girl

Yeah, no this girl since 2012 too like she added me on my fake account Uh-huh, I only met her this year, so it's kind of weird and her boyfriend Okay, so you're catfishing as a girl you meet a real girl whose boyfriend is a homeless guy? Uh-huh Yeah, And she She says he's homeless because he likes that lifestyle on the road and he actually owns a business and he's real No, you must have something going. Yeah Does she have pictures of that? Yeah, she actually did post a picture like this black dude

on her Facebook, her fall in time. I don't know where I should get one of those if it wasn't her boyfriend. Have you ever met anyone who also has a Tulpa? That was my original question. Yeah, that was her. What's Tulpa mean? That's a Tulpa.

The Tulpa is the imaginary friend. What, why do they call them? Why is it called a Tulpa? Does it stand for something? Oh, it's like a Tibetan, like Eastern religion thing. I think it's Tibetan or Buddhist. Okay. It's like a one of those Eastern religious concepts.

Okay. So she, if you're interested, so she has a Tulpa too. Yeah, that's what she told me. Like we rode around like the Eastern half of the island. So basically I just wasted a bunch of gas for like a friend who's not even my girlfriend. We talked about a lot of stuff though, so it was pretty fun.

Did your topus talk to each other? Yeah. Um, interestingly enough, kind of, like, so her topus, like, they talk a shit. You know what a yonder is? A yonder is like a bitch that's pissed off at you, right? That they don't act all like better than is. A while. Yandere is like a bitch that's pissed off at you, right? They act all better than you. Kind of.

It's like, okay, you should look into Yandere, a simulator and the developer of that. No, wait, is that a Yandere mean that they're super jealous? Yeah, it's basically like a psychotic bitch in real life, basically. Okay, so why do you say Yandere? Who's the Yandere here? a psychotic bitch in real life. Basically. Okay. So why do you say Yandere? Who's the Yandere here? The talk about boyfriend is. So like her, her talk about boyfriend says like, oh, I'm number one.

And you shouldn't date these guys. And I want to kill everybody. So yeah. So okay. So you have a talk that I don't want to know any specific information about. And she has a Tulpa that is a insane, that is a murderous, homosyped friend. Are they, are your Tulpa, are your Tulpa's talking to each other? Um, he said they did a little bit like, we did did eat lunch at this one, Okonomi, Oki place in Oki.

So, yeah, during the, when we were talking, she said, her Tulpa BF said, he's number one, even more so than Alexis. So, in a way, they can't directly communicate with each other, I don't think, unless the Tulpa owner is trying to do that. So, did her Tulpa owner is like trying to do that. So he did her Tulpa like you?

Actually, yeah, she said her Tulpa, like, yeah. If you managed to get laid with a Tulpa friend before Matt fuck face gets laid, I got the funniest thing I've heard of my life. I don't know if you think, like I think it's the I I don't know if you think like I could make her boyfriend leave for for me, but I think you can Think you could have sex with this girl. Are you interested in this real girl? I mean she looks cuter online like she kind of looks all dude And that's the one's for like better offline. She's like this, she's like this Korean girl.

So yeah, you are interested in kind of, you're attracted to her. Like Korean girls. Yeah. Are you interested in, do you, are you gonna see her again? Like are you gonna go on a second lunch as friends? Um, he's, and then she stops being busy because she says she's just busy all the time.

Well, it's for like a, a tall person being a shit out out of her and she doesn't want to tell her that Tulpa tell her that the Tulpa sent you an email And that he wants you he wants her to go out with you and drop all of her plans this weekend All right, I guess I could try to message her again. Yeah, you're a tall buzzer that she was totally communicating with her, Tulpa, and said that he wanted her to tell you, to tell her that she needs to go out with you again, because you've passed his ocular pat down and you've met his approval.

Mm-hmm. He's a tough one to please. He's a tough one to please. He is number one. How many people have these? How many people have these imaginary friends? She's the only one I know of in real life, but like this top of thing, it's kind of got co-opted or it's so, or taken over by my little pony. Very people. Of course it is. They make ten of these fucking my little pony characters and then, yeah, that's like, that's fucking stupid as hell man, in my opinion. Yeah. I really want you to

date that girl. I really want, I'm going to create a Tulpa just to infiltrate the Tulpa network and get this message across to both of you. I really need both of you to, I really need both of you to meet up and date before a fuck face mat. Sean, you had any more questions? No, I think I... Top of bra. I want to know more about the exercises to create them. Yeah, where do you, do you live with, do you live by yourself? I live with both my parents like a true champion, a 27 years old. Well, but I know you're Filipino, right?

Yeah. That's not that uncommon, right? Like extended families and stuff. Especially not in Hawaii. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was with their family here. What's your top of store? You want to buy a house here?

It's like a $1 million. It's probably, but not even by the beach. Yeah, yeah. What's your top of store? They're telling me to ask you about. My top of what? You have a store. Store. I don't know. They're saying it. Yeah. Very tentacle prints suggesting I make a top of store or top position score. He doesn't exactly. He's just being, he's just talking gibberish and chat.

That's why usually it's a top of score. All right, top of score. I don't know. Not score. Well, do you have anything that makes you a rage, top of bra? Top of bra? Yeah, I actually prepared this last week. So what makes me a rage is only fans, rip offs, image sets.

So I paid for like $20 for this one, fucking Asian girl. Like on not only not only fans, but some other fucking paid to play amateur site. So you get like this image set you download it, it's like separate into like 500 different zip files to it because the girls are fucking dumbass. And then you open them all up, you extract them, 100 images, 90 of them are clothes or partially clothes, 10 of them actually show like they tits or like, pussy or ass. That's a fucking rip off man.

It's been $20 on somebody shit and this stupid desk fucking. Yeah. I went through some of that only fans leak and I was like, I can't. I don't, why is anyone, why is anyone paying for this shit? Let alone, let alone hundreds of thousands a month.

For some bell-duffee makes a hot, like, I'm, I'm seeing amount of money, hold on, let me pull her is up. Yeah. It's that the Sure living life as a woman is easy mo Well, it's can't feel good just to talk talk to all these guys and horror yourself out like this for on only fans Even if you're making millions of dollars a bunch of horny dudes That's not very fun.

Do they have their stuff public? I can't tell how much you make. Hi, I'm Bill. Good for you, but I just, I couldn't imagine doing it. It sounds fucking horrible. Like imagine the amount of your cheddar. Threats you get. Oh, yeah, all the time.

Because you get the group like obsessed. Obsessed. Stalkers, you know? Yeah. Well, not quite as you would, but almost like maybe a little less than media. It sounds like fucking nightmare, man, to be honest, having to be having this hanging in front of your face to do all the time. But I don't know, good for them. Well, okay, good luck with that.

Good luck with that other Tulpa girl. Don't let her kill you. Yeah. It's something like that. What kind of medication are you on right now, by the way? Have you tried running your Tulpa by any kind of psychiatrist or your family and see what they think about it?

No, basically I'm afraid that if I start taking these stupid ass meds again, she's gonna disappear so. Yeah, probably would. Just keep my tongue going. Maybe, I don't know, what would it take for you to give it a shot and get rid of the like maybe a relationship Which she's would she get jealous and you say like I have a real girl

I don't need this I'll take meds and get rid of the top because I got a real girl now with that help Would that do anything? No, she actually supports my happiness. So if I said I should get an IRL girlfriend too, okay She's not opposed post of that. What? Jill is even my secret mistress. Do you work? Do you work anywhere?

I used to work like up until February of this year and then like... Well actually I got fired from that job because I kept skipping work because I hated working there. Yeah. I'm just going to see like, yeah, it feels cool. It's cool. Well, I mean, you almost be your close. Yeah. All right. Good luck to, yeah. Well, I mean, you almost view your clothes. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Good luck to help him, huh? I'm glad that at least she's supportive. Right. No problem. I just need you to take in Sean. Ron has to be on my favorite podcast.

Thank you. If she has any suggestions, stuff you should do, run and buy somebody. Yeah, just to make sure. I've always good to give a second opinion, second opinion. No, let a woman run your life, whether she's real or not. Yeah, you know? All right, buddy. That's what she's doing.

Good ad here. Yeah, thank you. Right. That's a good call. What do you think? Well, holy shit. Holy shit. My little ponies and the furries took over the Tulta community.

That's the one that's the takeaway I got. Yeah, right. Me too. I've always wanted to talk to a Tulpa person. When did you become aware of this phenomenon? About 2012. Really? A while ago.

Tulpa. And it's just, like you said, it's a super imaginary friend. Like a, yeah, because I've always wondered. It's normally, it's a normally sexual. It seems, it seems everything to me. Like, I mean, but it's different than when you're a little kid with an imaginary friend. It's normally sexual. It seems everything. It seems to me like, I mean, but it's different than when you're a little kid with an imaginary friend.

I imagine I didn't have an imaginary friend. Me either. I've always wondered if it's a form of schizophrenia. I learned about them on like TV shows. Imaginary friends. Yeah, it's like, oh my imaginary friend. I was like, oh, people have that. That's that.

No, I just never, it sounds annoying. Brain didn't work that way, I guess. Yeah. Me either. Um, let's do some advice. Hey, son, stop taking a turn. I'm not really sure if this is just needing advice, if this is me needing advice, you're just airing something out.

I'm thinking of buying a ticket to Greenland, or at least just disappearing. I'm a 20-winter-year-old guy in college. That's the time when you should be going to Greenland. When you're 21 and in college. And all the women who you talk to are also 20, 19, 2021, 22. Let me off this ride. I'm gonna make them feel worse. He's like, God, if I feel like shit right now,

I keep going. I've never, okay. 21 year old guy in college, I don't know what to do with my life. Okay, very common. I'm lonely and not great with women. And I've been riddled with anxiety and depression. For the past six years, you know, they never, you know what they never say?

What's an uneasiness? How much they work out? Yeah, yeah, not once. I've never really, I've never been really masculine and have had trouble difficulty socially all my life, probably because I never had a dad or because I was homeschooled throughout elementary and moved around a lot during my younger years.

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. I always wanted to try and be positive and chill but depression and failure has kind of been whittling me down through the years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do it. I always wanted to try and be positive and chill, but depression and failure has kind of been whittling me down through the years. What could you be failing at at 21, my young friend? Well, what he's looking at, what he may, what he may or may not have failed at, it isn't reflected in his mind. I'm sure. I'm sure he sees it like he's a much bigger failure than anybody outside would tell him he is.

By the time Mozart was 21, Error YouTube is not streaming enough, no, you're fine. Okay. As much as I try not to think about it, the urge to kill myself keeps coming back. That's why we say, thank you for not killing yourself. Right. I don't think something is deeply fucked up and wrong with me. I just boredom is a fine reason to kill yourself. Want to kill yourself. Well, you don't need to be fucked up and wrong. I was like, oh, this is so fucking boring.

Can you just commute one more time this week? Well, sometimes, you know, one aspect of depression is just the, it's not, it's not this crippling sadness, it's crippling apathy. What's happening? I mean, it's nine. Ugh. There's just not, it's so bleak. It can be, so it's, the boredom thing is like, is not off. I don't think something is deeply fucked up and wrong with me.

I always wish that I could be a stronger, willed man, maybe then I'd know what to do with my life and not always feel alone. Always just wanted to be more comfortable and have a nice relationship, but it feels like I'm incapable of building that for myself. Well, you're sure you're, I'm sure that's what your, your brain is telling you over and over again. I know this is kind of a mess and long winded. Oh, this is the most cons�sy, maleficent is true.

But there's a win for reading it. If you did, you can read this on the show. If you want, I don't really care. Why would you care? You're going to kill yourself. I love the show. I'll just cry. Are you watching the episodes throughout COVID? Oh, you got a lot of stinking, thinking here is right, the opposite email. Say the opposite. Say the opposite of everything you're doing. It's just a lie, just start lying. Make a telpa of yourself and then become telpa

and then leave this person behind. I don't know, there's no other way to get through it, but failure, always just become, I always just wanted to be comfortable and have a nice relationship, but it feels like I'm incapable of building it. But failure, uh, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, When you're 21, you think, God, I've lived so long. It's like, it's not, he feels bad that he doesn't know what he wants to do. He thinks he's, you're not always gonna feel the way that you feel right now.

In some ways you will, but in a lot of ways you won't. And even when nothing is happening, you feel like something's happening. If you're going out walking among people, you are learning stuff. You need people. Yeah, you do. Seriously, my fucking straight, I'm gonna say it again,

go fucking talk to somebody and I do, go talk, see if it works. And I mean, and it again, go fucking talk to somebody and I do and go talk and go see if it works And I mean and I again we go we talk about drugs and all that kind of stuff. I would do drugs. No, I would start I would start with a psychologist Yeah, before you know what I mean like if they give you drugs, well they're wrong. No, they're not gonna Drugs creatively. They're not gonna give you drugs. You know, I'll get a second drug opinion. They're not going to give you drugs. This is what you need to do. Go today, go to your local target.

And by yourself, a congrats on adulting trophy. If they have any left. Yeah. And look at that, anytime you feel like a failure, you look at that trophy and realize that they had to have printed at least that thousands of them. And they distributed this trophy to all the targets in America, not to just sit on the shelf and collect dust, but because they knew they would sell. But he bought one.

They knew they would sell to people. See, they're so sick and dysfunctional that they would buy one and connect to another person with this fucking trophy But then his brain is gonna tell him what a fail that is for buying that But that thing and then he's gonna go to Greenland. No, no this works buy it Buy and find someone to give it. I'm giving you this congratulations Trophy go this is a, so not for himself. By two, if they have to, God forbid, I should have bought the whole stack of these.

I should have bought the whole set up. Buy one for yourself and buy one for a friend. And then if you're ever, you just gotta figure out, you just gotta figure out, it seems like what you want is like what a lot of people want. You don't want things that are really bizarre to me. I mean, I think wanting stuff, if you want a family, you want a relationship, it's nothing wrong with that.

Even if you're two little boys, everyone is white and one is black. There's nothing wrong with that. Not okay. We're trying to keep it in the real world, dick. You know, he doesn't know what he wants to do. Very common. Yeah, you gotta work out. Buy that trophy.

Seriously, congrats on it. That's part of adulting. It's not killing yourself. Advice. Hey, take Phil Frieda's on the show. I'm sure others have this issue. I've been with a girl for four years so far. She has a fantastic S and her tits are perky bouncy

and have a great nipple size ratio. Hmm. Didn't, did we, do you want to read this one? Let me see. I think so. I think the only issue is that there's nipple size ratio. Though I'm a tits guy, nipple size ratio is very important.

You're going to hear that a lot moving forward. No, no, no, I, yeah. Though I'm a tits guy. Nivocized ratio is very important. You're going to hear that a lot moving forward. No, no, no, no. Yeah. The line with tits guy, I don't mind this because I have small hands. Okay. There's lots of, I mean, there's lots of, I mean, there's lots of, there's lots of playground jokes here.

There's lots of tasteless jokes here. There's lots of jokes that will get you canceled here. I like tits, but my girlfriend has smaller tits. But I can't lie. But it's okay because I have small hands. This is like a doctor's suce like a shell silverstein poem. Right. See a guy who's coming in with, you know, this girlfriend has a small tits.

She's like, this guy, I was a handshake, this size of a fucking tie. And his name is Sue. Yeah. Do you know he wrote that? Yeah. So I think then. And then his, the other guy, the other couple comes Yeah, you know, he wrote that? Yeah, I think so. And then his, the other guy, the other couple comes in, and she's got enormous tits, and he's got a little tiny hands. Right, right.

So it looks like he's like, there's like a New Yorker cartoon. Yeah, right. And it has says a quote or something, but you know, I don't know how to do those. She is however extremely insecure about it, and gets quietly upset often. That sounds awesome.

If there's anything that if there's anything you got to look for in a woman, it's her crippling insecurity, crippling, silent, seething insecurity that she has no, that she has no compulsion, as she'll exercise and express in a healthy way. She'll never do better than you. Other than to drag you down like a fucking anchor into hell. That sounds fucking fantastic. How do I convince her to be more confident in her itty bitty titties and stop moping?

Probably no cold in makeup with, yeah. Look, I love your itty bitty titties. Yeah, I love it. I love your titties even though they're smaller than anything I want. It works because my hands and my dick are small. So it's fantastic. Yeah. Don't ever, don't do what you're doing.

How about that? Do you have any advice for this guy, Sean? No, not really. Here, I got some animal corner stuff for you. Oh, yeah? Where's the intro? Yeah Shuns animal corner hilarious

Did you know that geese have teeth on their tongues? I knew that they were they have like a cat-like tongue thing. Like there's definitely like dentical type things like on a shark, right? Dentacles? Yeah, they're not really like, I mean, they're not, they're not real teeth, are they? Okay. Oh, Merch is here. Oh, good fucking animal corner. Captain Merch. Merch, Merch, are you here?

Yeah, sorry, I didn't interrupt stupid petrics. No, that's all right. No, go ahead. I never wanted to do it anyway. You're your audience a little fuck that's a little echoey, but you're right. I'm sorry dude. I was still I'm still setting up my new studio, so I have shit acoustics in here right now. You sound like it sounds like Joe Rogan studio right now inside of his suburbs. Look, I have been spending all we trying to set this place up and it fucking sucks. What's, why is it taking so long? Well, because I'm still in between

two places and I'm getting like furniture delayed delivery delays and putting shit together myself. This is not fun. Yeah, it doesn't sound fun. Okay, so we got Tampa, Roach Tampa, Renged the SIDS crossover show, event December 12th. I wanted to call, I wanted you to call in so we could talk about it. It's, I feel like it's, I'm totally, I totally forgot how to do a live show almost.

Like, this is quite honestly, this might be the only fucking show or the only good thing that happens in 2020. Yeah. All right, well, then hear me out on this trick. Maybe we'll pay that a little bit. Whoa, just hear me out. What if we got an RV?

We just did a bunch of meth and we just drive, drive out of mace people. You had me up meth drive around in mace people. Yeah, it seems to be working for a baked Alaska company. Can you tell Sean what happened with them with baked Alaska? I think I pretty much I covered it pretty succinctly so that what they did was they rented an RV. They did a bunch of meth and they've been going around macing people. Do you remember those two nice boys baked Alaska? The fuck is wrong with that?

I get who we're in here. Yeah, driving around macing people in an RV. Then they got married. They got married together. Yeah. So I was waiting for them, but it looks like they got divorced. Oh, I'm very excited about Tampa. I was just there last night.

It was disgustingly debauched and amazing. It was completely kicked back in, but like high gear was amazing. So get tickets. It's going to be fun. high gear was amazing. So get tickets, it's going to be fun. Tap is always lit. He's always plenty of whores and drugs. He likes tap on it. Yeah, is it really open? It's wide open. Still. I can look at my Twitter at church. We're a great, great club for me, by the way. On Twitter and look at the pictures and videos I took last night. It was, dude, you couldn't move. It was, everyone was on top of each other.

Every bar was packed and there wasn't one mask. That wasn't for some kind of, you know, appearance. This is fucking, I'm looking for your, I'm looking at your Twitter right now. I see the chop house that's fucking packed, dude. That is interesting. That was, it was like that for a four block radius around. So it's gonna be fun. I cannot fucking wait.

We have a huge theater. There's probably, yeah, there's like 400 seats available in the theater. I don't know how many tickets are already sold, but I assume, we've always sold out. I assume this one is too. I think a lot of people are kind of waiting to see, like I'm curious if people have, if their jobs are fucked up, like if they have money to do this,

if they can take the time to do it at the end of the year, but I feel like nothing has happened all year. So it's like, I'm just dying to get out there and do a show and act like the world is normal again, like from these pictures. Yeah. Well, yeah. Hey, man. That's fucking great.

Ralph. We missed out on so many things this year. We missed out on a skankfest we were supposed to go, we were supposed to go back up to New York for another thing later. We had all these show, we had a WrestleMania weekend a parents thing. We were doing it.

And it's dude like you, I just want to get packed in normal. It's been a year of, like I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it. I'm not coming up with it, we're all shows doing good. Hey, what are coming up here?

And now it's like, oh no, we're just shut down. We live in districts now. Yeah, yeah, it's surprising that I'm finally used to it. Like I've been used to it. I've got used to it. So now the thought of like going and doing it, I'm like, how do I, how do we do this again? We got to get a plane ticket and-

When was it August of last year? It was over a year ago. Yeah, I think like I think it was August last year was Minneapolis, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then you guys tried to do it right, right? That's when it got shut down. Yeah, after the show last time, Merchant, I figured out that I was kicked out of a strip club that he used to bounce out at. Yeah, remember that call? Yeah. Was that right, Merchant? The Odyssey? Yeah, no, I know. Well, Odyssey and the I only worked there for like a day or two as a manager. I hated Odyssey, but I fucked a lot of girls from there, but it's a known club.

It's one that we used to all year hang out. Yeah, 2001 rules. I was telling him about the the Asian house mom that worked there who would literally have Oh, yeah fall off her God have what she's she's like this 90-year-old Asian lady to look like low-pan from a big trouble little child. Yeah, she made food right? She knows insist on making food Like oh, I made this in home. I cook it at home and we're like Oh, and she would have roaches just like crawl out of a bag or something.

It was amazing. Oh, God. She was the best. I love that lady. She was good. I got to count my distance for her, but I would always be happy when she showed up because I knew I hear screams and you know, hard gasps. Do you ever try the food?

No, no, no, no, no, I always know. No, I always be like, no, you can not. I'm full. I just ate. I think I have this big roach. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I'm really, I'm really looking forward to it.

I know Nick Riccita is thinking about coming or trying to come. Yeah. Ralph's got a big plantation house on a lake that he's got a plantation house. I think Mad Cuxon is dad are coming down Carl from who are these podcasts coming down. Rusty Cage said he was coming, but I don't know if he's going to, I'll try to get him up on stage. I don't know. Do you know, Ryan Long, God, Ryan Long and Danny Polychick are coming.

They're going to do stand up there. Those guys have been doing a tour, haven't they? They seem to be all over the place. I think they just left New York. Yeah. I don't think that much to do with a tour is much just like the real like, let's get out of here. Yeah, that sounds weird. We can't take this anymore. No shit. That's going to be fucking great to pretend like, and you're not coming though Sean, I can't talk you into it. No, I can't. There's too many variables. There's multiple reasons why it's a bad idea. I'm gonna get sick on purpose. Just so I can get it out of the way.

Well, I gotta get it eventually. I'd rather get it in the wild than get it from Bill Gates. Oh, okay. Do you know what I mean? Yes, sure. I'd rather get the virus from, I'd rather get the virus from, naturally, free range virus.

Yeah, I'd rather get it from Mersh than get it from Bill Gates, shoving it up my hand. And somebody around it our way. You'll is some girl from Tampa will be involved. But I mean, it's just, it's the more glorious way to get it. Yeah, sure. I mean, there's, there's things, some things are, you know, the end result is the same, but some ways to get there are more or less honorable.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think in some Americans, we have this approach that's very uniquely like, yeah, I think Americans we have this approach that's very uniquely like look if I'm going to die I'm going to do it to myself, but like I'm not letting you people give me an injection Like I'd rather catch a horrible disease out of a stripper's butthole than have the CEO of Microsoft Common just go all right your next free shot like no, yeah, I want to die in a new way I don't want to drive around macing people in an RV. I'd like to do it with my way.

I want to do it my way. I want to have a big gathering with 500 people where we're showing Muhammad cartoons and getting COVID and getting my head shot off. Right? That's what I have to do when I go. Well, to be fair, the RV six guys are also doing it their way, you know? Yeah. Who do you think is going to win?

Do you think Trump's going to win? I think this is-6 guys are also doing it their way, you know? Yeah. Who do you think is going to win? Do you think Trump's going to win? I think this is a waste of podcast. I do, but I'm perpetually worried every day until this is over with. Why? It's just, I'm just worried, man. I don't, you know, it's just... I hope it's fucking nuclear weapon explodes.

He ever... On the day, and nobody finds out anything. Yeah. Yeah. That would be a great way to end it. Black mirror episode. I'm fine with it. Yeah, I don't know, man, I have a bad feeling. But I always have a bad feeling. So I don't know, I could just be, it could just be my natural, the roasts at He's at work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't always the guy that's like, this is a bad idea, guys. And everybody's like, it's, it relax. It's just a menchies. We're just getting frozen.

Oh, man. Something about this seems dicey. I can't wait. I saw cockroach. I can't wait to hear about the election results for the next four years. Oh, I'm done. I already decided I'm going back to real life. to hear about the election results for the next four years. Oh. Oh, damn it. I already decided I'm going back to real life. Like, I'm not, I'm going to shit assault people that bring up politics to me.

That's a, you know what? That's a good, that's a fucking good, well done. November 4th, we're done talking about it. Unforbid. I wish everybody would get on that fucking train forever. Okay. You're just smackin' guys not expecting it. Like they won't really, they just sit there. on for a get on that fucking train forever okay you're a smacked guy is not expecting it like they want really good just sit there

do you know if somebody's like you're a man you don't think you're a big term we can finally take some seats back and they just sit there like frozen you know like I told you like I've really warned everybody that they get a smack if they brought politics up to me and I don't even care, even with Biden wins.

I don't wanna sit around for three months, bitch, you're about to let us know. I'm not showing it. It's all poisonous. I'm just gonna be happy if you wins. So you know what, good job. You nailed it. I love it.

I'm congratulations, I'm riding with Biden. If Biden wins, I love it. I'm gonna buy the shirt. I love China and green energy, and I would like you to replace everything in my house, and I'm gonna drive. I'm gonna walk to work from now on, getting out of my car.

I love it, I'm into it. You're gonna set your house and trade it in for one of those like the Japanese pot hotels. Yeah, I'm gonna get a tiny house. So tell me, I was just wondering, what do you think I'm gonna toilet that right next to you? Oh, man. I'm gonna get a toilet that turns into a bed. I'm just gonna sleep on the toilet. Yeah, I have a keyboard that folds out. I live on the toilet. I eat on the toilet.

Right, I love it. Congratulations, you've beaten by the best. You guys had the better, that's what it's gonna be. It's gonna be a big apology after the day after. I see. Yeah. There's something kind of endearing about his whole like Mr. Mbouat. I'm gonna get a toilet that turns into a bed. I'm just gonna sleep on the toilet. by the best you guys had the better that's what it's going to it's going to be a big apology after the day after I say yeah there's something kind of endearing about his whole like Mr.

McBouac yeah he grows on the overtime like I don't know what it is but I actually enjoy the problem is you can get stuck with Kamala Harris but if we're actually going to legit get some Biden time I'd be great I'd be fine with it because he's he's actually objectively hilarious yeah yeah as long as the cop doesn't get to run the country I'd be fine with it because he's, he is actually objectively hilarious anytime he has to speak. Yeah, as long as the cop doesn't get to run the country, I'd be okay with that. Or maybe I- If Joe was your demented grandfather at Christmas time, you'd be feeding him material to

babble about, like your family would be laughing at him like a circus act. And then you'd be like, hey, watch this, watch this. Hey, I'll blow out. Yeah, tell me about it. Tell me about it. You can just ask him any subject and listen to him just 200,000, a million or 4,000.

This guy, man, come on. It's just pretty watching him battle and everybody giggles. He's like my own uncle Frank who used to set the curtains on fire Christmas for the cigarettes. Oh. He's got that bush. It'll be a lot, everyone will be a lot He said by a local frankly used to set the curtains on fire Christmas for the cigarettes. Oh.

He's got that bush that it'll be a lot, everyone be a lot more chilled out. We got to just give like Randy really has this idea that Biden should win because everyone would just relax and we could go back to life as normal. Yeah. He, I think he completely buys, he agrees with me that this is all fake and it's all bullshit because of Trump, like everything and he just wants Biden to win so we can stop having to pretend that all this is going on. Like, can we just, we need him to win so we can stop pretending that COVID is a big deal

and everyone can just go back to normal because it's all, all of his things. For the mentality everyone assumes it's going to be, but that's not going to be it. Like, I mean, come sent it to me where there's like a mask required sign, but it's bolted into the steel railing of wherever it was. Like you don't unbolt, nobody unbolt that sign. They put it in and then it's there forever. That's like the new, that's the forever sign.

So you think people will just go, oh, I'm going to put on a mask forever. Mass are required. No, forever. Why don't, I didn't think it would last eight months or whatever it is but here We are I know it's because you're because you're listening to people who go it'll be over by April Sean It was never it was never here. It was there was never anything to be upset about or worried about There's it's not over by April they never existed dick I don't think it will ever go anywhere people just like following rules

I would have said the same thing about seat belts 80 years ago. Why the fuck are we wearing seat belts? Well cuz they're safer I'm not fucking wearing those I are it's illegal not anybody who is you've been literally owe for 2020 For what from this thing thing fake any facts of it. Yeah, That's what's great is that facts are apolitical. It's not a fact. Wearing masks does nothing false. It does fucking nothing. The efficacy of masks has been shown in study after study after study.

That doesn't make it a fact. It just makes it a study. It makes it a study that they had that people interpret it as not a fucking fact. Okay, look Not my job not my job to educate you. Oh God. Not my job to educate anybody So when is it over then when is it over? It's gonna go it's gonna go on for a while This thing. Thank you This is a perfect this is a perfect example of an argument from ignorance

This is a perfect, this is a perfect example of an argument from ignorance. Where you say yes, I'm arguing from ignorance. And I'll tell you why. Why? I'll tell you why. It is the definition. Why? Because you say, give me a number, give me a date. Give me another or the whole thing is false. That's a logical fallacy.

The lockdowns are false. Yeah, unless you give me a number. Also, you fucked up the who thing the other week. No, it's just, yes, you did. Which one? you did. Which one? You did. The who has not changed or made a new stance since April about the,

about the lockdowns, lockdowns, don't want to be a primary measure. Correct. Yeah, not a primary measure. It's to stop the, it's to stop the spread or an outbreak. No, not stop using lockdowns. Stop using lockdowns as the primary thing into you need to get tracing, social distancing, masks. And then stop doing them.

Yes, when you help control of that. If you don't, which is that you're using have no definition. 90,000 cases. Flattening the curve. 90,000 cases. 90,000 cases are amplified, dead viral RNA and not,

and instead of actual infections. I don't know I have either today the test doesn't differentiate you why do we listen to it at all here's what I know I know that you don't know what you're talking about and that's literally yes I don't know so I'm not so I'm not gonna ruin everyone's life I don't know so I'm not ruining everyone's life that's my position I literally don't know what the what is actually happening So I would never ruin your life over it. You say that nobody else does either No, no one does yeah, and that's what that's preposterous

No, they don't they cannot test for it the test that they're saying exists do not exist Would you say would you say this to like? to But would you say this to like the world of experts in like another thing that isn't so hotly politicized as this? Do you ever listen to yourself? Like what? An expert in what? Anything else that's less like controversial.

Give me one example. Pick anything. Anable behavior, I don't know. Anable behavior? Yeah.'t know. Anable behavior? Yeah, like what? Something like that. Like would you say? Like that the piled down man is fake.

I would say, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Like, seems a little odd, they pulled out this piled down man. No wear is fake. Oh, he was fake. Did any of the experts say he was real? Yeah, the guy who found it. He was like standing here.

The guy who found it. He's a dead screens doctor a doctor, Fauci. Yeah. Sorry. The Netflix password is fake. Yeah. How did you choose the, sorry. I want to know up again.

All right. What I get is if I would write, okay, experts, economic experts, I think nobody really knows where there's like an increase. You know, why, why might a white shark attack you? It's like, well, you know, where you're at. It's like, you know, nobody really knows. So it's fine. You know, you see a big, you know, a big group of sea lions.

Go ahead, go ahead, swim right through there. Swim it through early in the morning or late at night when the sun's lower. It's like, nobody really knows, you know? Literally, and if you're not telling me to do something, I don't care. I don't care what you're talking about. The second you're telling me what to do, you better, you better have, you better have unassailable proof. Yeah.

If you're telling me what to do, and none of this is unassailable, none of this is unassailable. It's, there are holes, there are holes you could drive a fucking space shuttle through in all of this shit. There are, there are, and every one of these spokespeople, their holes, their holes you could drive a fucking space shuttle through and all of this shit. There are, there are, and every one of these spokespeople are all- Some things- They're all things- They're all things-

They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things-

They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- They're all things- Unless you have a hundred percent certainty you cannot tell me what to do. That is the entire point of America. That's you. Yes Yes, yes, the entire point is me. You cannot stop me and other people who think like me from doing whatever we want Unless you have 100% proven you prove it in court. That's the whole fucking point. So every single thing that they bring in is

Automatically falls. That's not proof it. That is so lazy. I can't Five proof it. Five proof it. So much math. That is so lazy, I can't even believe it. How is it lazy? I'm the one that they're trying to stop from doing anything. How is it lazy? They're the ones doing it with a gun. How is it lazy? What's a gun?

Well, you're going out all the time. Oh, you're going out all the time. You cannot run it. You can't run a business. All these people who had businesses with liquor licenses can't run them. And that sucks. And that's why it's fucking. It sucks. No, that slavery. And that is why that is why why the whose statement is what I said it was locked down. Stop doing them. Only do them when necessary. This never what's necessary. This I mean, this is this is why there is necessary. This never what's necessary. This, I mean, this is, this is why there is absolute. This is why I see there's no facts. It's do them when necessary. Who's making,

who is making a call? A bunch of fucking bureaucrats and people who watch CNN, a bunch of frothing at the mouth, harpies who just want to stay home because they're too fucking fat to go outside. That's why women and needs are leading this revolution. I'm like, I'm going to listen to the people who have the best chance at giving me the correct information. All I want is our facts, is correct information. I don't care who it comes from. That's just me. But you don't have the capacity to synthesize all the data you're getting. No one does. No one.

No one. Not even the experts can take in all of that data and come out with a concrete plan that will stop death. But they have a better chance of it. They have a better chance of it. It's an odds thing. Who is more likely to be right? Yeah.

Or the marine biologist. I am 100% right in what I want to do with my life. No expert knows what I want to do with my life better than I do. That is true. That is what you're saying is an odds game. It's exactly why I say it's either 100% or it's nothing. If you've got a 50, if you've got a 70% chance

of telling me what to do, I'll take my 100% chance. Cause I absolutely know what I want to do. And I said from day fucking one, it's a virus. We know it's a virus. We've known we've dealt with viruses since the beginning of fucking time. It's a call. It's a call. It's a call. It's whatever. It's a little thing that goes through the air that gets you sick and it kills you. If you're weak, it kills you. If you're weak of your weaker old. And what do you know? Not necessarily. Not to kill you. If you're a weaker old. No, not necessarily. That was one kill you if you're weak or old. No, not necessarily.

That was one of the big missteps in that it's basically harmless to young people. Yes, chances are, but not always, you basically baseball players who got fucked up from it. There are football, you know, college football players who got fucked up from drinking too much too. They got things like my own card. I just that stuff like that, which can actually happen.

Yeah, I give you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of bads, you know, that if I tell you, cars have defects in them and they don't recall them. Unless it's, you know, I mean, we've all seen fight club. Yeah. So it's okay for everybody. If we, if we held any company in America to the standards that we've held the virus to, every single fucking one of them would go out of business.

Oh, you had something, a guy choked on a chicken McNugget. No more chicken McNuggets. We've had multiple kids choking on these, no more happy on social media. All I'm saying, I don't even know, I don't know what the right thing to do is. Like that's all I want is what I'm listening to experts.

We know more about viruses than we did 100 years ago. So do you not take into, you know, we used to, in the Civil War, they used to put their finger in the bullet wounds to trace the path of the bullet. See, that's actually, I think what killed Garfield, they think, was that it was still in, that was like in the 1880s. I mean, what's that? The kill the Garfield, the cat.

It did. John's stuck in his finger. Actually, he choked on a lasagna noodle. No more lasagna. That's the word, no. That's certain. Yeah. All I'm saying is you learn things. You learn things and there's no, you know, I've learned. There's no good

solution for it because there is the government is responsible for killing more people than anything else in human history and they always do it for because they think they're doing something good always. It is the government has killed more people than anything else because they do shit like this. They get involved, they get involved for good reasons and then they start tweaking people's lives and killing them. They do it every fucking time. That's why rule number one. I don't know about killing them. Yes, killing entire generations wiped out by governments like China, Russia. Yes, yes, yes. And everything like fucking time. We're not equate this to any of those.

It's worse. It's worse because we did it on purpose. The virus was an act of God. The shutdown, the deaths, the alcoholism, and the suicides that came out of this was an act of man. It's infinitely worse. Look at an act of God. Everybody had the ability to stay home.

Everybody, wash their hands, stay home. Instead, you got a bunch of pencil dicks, bureaucrats, you act like everybody can isolate from everybody by staying home. Well, they certainly, they either can or they can't and the government saying it's illegal not to do it isn't gonna make that easier for them. What's the, I mean, what's our state right now?

Like a lot of states are totally open. And they're doing fine. Miraculously, they are. Yes, they are? No, they're not. They're doing fine. No, they're not. Who is, who what state is doing bad?

The, what, give me one? Almost, oh, Arkansas. A lot of the states that were late to the party. Okay, let's see. Hold on, what's, what's per day? What? What? No, it's the case rate per day. The case rate means fucking nothing. The case rate means nothing. It doesn't mean shit. It doesn't even mean they have it. It could just be a dead virus or an A-s. Nothing about the system. That's fucking. That keeps saying that doesn't make it true.

There are multiple tests. Some look on the inside, you know, some look for the spike. Section means fucking nothing. Go ahead. Go ahead. Since it's stunning. It's so concerned about your infection rate. You could agree that the deaths are down. Could it?

Yes. The mortality rate is way down because we treat it not much better. I hear a guy say this is a glorified flu. People like Sean laughed at me. It's turned out now with the infection rate versus the death rate, it's basically the flu. So it's basically a flu that you and your little panicky p-friends like to just kvette about every day and have the media freak out about for political reasons.

When it's really just the flu. That's false. It wouldn't have been panicking and acting like reasons when it's really just the flu that's false but the panicking and acting like a bunch of homos over the flu if the media was doing this years ago about the flu but they weren't well the only thing that's different about coronavirus is the way you people are being completely assholes about it wait what do you have to think about that? yes you all I want are the facts

the facts are right now. It's it's climbing up to a quarter to which facts you want. You don't want the death facts. You want the infection facts because the infection facts are going worse. They're not going the way you want them. Here's the total or they are going the way you want them to go. I'm looking at the I'm looking at the number of people who are dead. Well, no, you're not because those are plummeting. There's nobody dying. I'm looking at the number of people who are dead. Wait, a total? Yeah.

Who gives a shit about that? They're dead. I'm like, nobody's been infected with this totally. Like you know, they think, what do they think? Nine million people in the US? Ten million people. But that's already happened. Which I'm about right.

We're talking about people get more, way more people get the flu and way fewer die. That's all I'm saying. Well, and, so you're saying it's a worse virus. It's, I'm looking at the total, do you, I mean, isn't that weird that so many fucking people are dying? It's a bad virus, but it was new, and we didn't do it.

We didn't treat it right. Right. Now we treat it right. The government is still a big problem. And it's gonna, it needs to be letting up as we are able to treat it better. They're not letting us up though. They're just not. How are they not?

Our things are still threatening things. If she's down there opening, are things more open now than they were? Then they were a year ago now. We can't know what the fuck I mean. But that's not good enough for me. Hey, Marsh, when this whole thing started, our roles were almost reversed, where Dick was like,

yeah, you get the flu too, like this, and I'm like, I'm not worried about it. And if you tell you the truth, I'm still not worried about it for me. I've been going out this whole time. I go to work, I do all kinds of stuff. But I just might, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my only thought I would hate to give it to somebody else. So, so, so, so, so I would hear sociopath

I kiss everyone that's my new breeding In when you have some Indonesian, come, come, bring me Chinese food out of bicycle. When you reach the water, I don't know, I can't go to the gym. Oh, my gym is closed. I lost what he said. He's talking about how people are covetching, are bitching about the virus, but they're still ordering Uber Eats and endangering like people who are broke.

Like dead joke on fucking purpose. I know, it's such insane hypocrisy. I put my mask on and I go to the store and that's, you still have to live. You still got to do things. Arkansas reports 800 new COVID, 867 new COVID cases, 33 deaths. That is a, I laugh at 33 deaths.

Are you fucking kidding me? Outlaw swimming pools. If we're going to get, if we're going to be, even slightly laugh at 33 deaths. Are you fucking kidding me? Outlaw swimming pools, if we're gonna be, if we're gonna be even slightly affected by 33 deaths. Look at the trends for the states. You can find it on the CDC like what's the trend? What states are more or less holding stable? What states are spiking? Of, you can't, there's no spikes in deaths?

33. No, there's nothing. We're talking, and now we're talking infections. I'll never talk infections. That is such an nonsense. The infections are totally dependent on how many tests there are. It is infections are what? That's the dumbest, they still have it.

Whether you test them or not. People are not getting tested, have it too. That's the point. That's my point. If you double test, you're gonna double the infections you find because it's a fucking virus, it's everywhere. What do you think people are getting a positive COVID test and then the next day going and getting tested again?

No, I'm saying that a certain amount of people have it and the amount of tests that you do will always find more. If you raise the number of, the more testing that you have, the more people, the more positive tests you're gonna get, well no shit. Well, that's what they're doing. That's all they've been doing the whole time. Oh, we gotta test more.

We gotta test more. Holy shit, there's a spike. What did you think there was gonna be? Of course, there's a spike. You're testing a bunch of people that have it and they don't get affected by it. It's not correlated with the spike. All of a sudden, they're not doing that many more tests

and it goes up that much more. I mean, you don't know that. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. It's impossible. That's it. You're done. All right, Merch, I'm done you don't know that. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. That's it. You're done. All right, Merch. I'm done talking about.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. You're probably getting it. I'm excited about Tampa, though. Sean, you're damaging this equipment. Sorry.

Tampa. Tampa. I know you've been promoted as well. Yeah. It's going to be, I think it's going to be a really good time. And I think you mentioned it earlier, but you have been promoted as well. Yeah, it's gonna be, I think it's gonna be a really good time. And I think you mentioned it earlier, but you had to keep them out. So like running some fucking mega super property that,

yeah, plantation guards walking around, SMG's, it's gonna be fun. Yeah, I can't wait. Thank you for calling in and listening so I'll sorry to you about something. Yes, sorry. We've heard it from there. Sorry about the sound quality. I'm in the middle of doing this now. No, you. We're there. Sorry, but the sound quality.

I'm in the middle of doing this now. So you're fine. Goodbye. Thanks, my ass. See you later. See you December. I'm an elected leader. I think.

Oh God. I totally did forget he was there for a minute. I totally did. I haven't even thought about COVID for like a month. I'm done thinking about COVID. I'm going to go get I'm going to Florida. Good, you should. You got a little help.

You got to be afraid of it. Those, oh, I'm not afraid of it. Those pictures, you're obviously afraid of it. I've never seen a man more afraid of anything in my life. God, those pictures would get me in so much fucking trouble. I know. Yeah, you know, you know, the government is a bigger problem for you.

Uh, the, well, it's nothing. It's nothing. Government. Yeah, it's people. It's the, it's the, well, like you said earlier, it's the, um, the least funny, like control that kind of stuff. So if I see this, I wouldn't even see this, then it's like, that's very fucking serious. Yes. Let me see, Mandy, Mandy, you got to call in. Did I, I think I lost Mandy Cretan. All right, let's do voicemails.

Thanks, giving rules for California. Did you know, did you hear about these? Do are we having a spike here? Are we in the middle of a spike? I think California is doing pretty good. I haven't checked. Oh, then we better keep doing more than to keep it down. We don't want to spike. I think we've done okay.

Thanks, giving no more than three households. So if you got three households, oh, what, no more than three households? So thanks, giving. So you got your parents, your sisters. Guy, what are they calling these? Guidelines? Yeah. Actually, they're calling them friendly mandatory. No, they're not. They're saying guidelines, right? Okay, so shorter than two hours. So nobody's going to listen to that.

So if it's shorter than two hours, there's going to be no repercussions for you. These are from an expert shorter than two hours. If it took that two hours a month, a minute, bam, COVID. This has nothing. Guidelines. bam, COVID. This has nothing. This has nothing, right? This is nothing. Yeah, this shit is based on absolutely nothing.

No, false. How could it be three? Why is not two? Well, because, you know, because they most people have three. Because an increased prolonged exposure time normally means that the cases are more severe. Literally two hours.

So it happened, so it happened to be to be exactly enough to have a Thanksgiving dinner. It's like they under, you know how they, you air on the side of caution when you're talking experts because they're not talking about the experts, what they, the information they give, the bureaucracy does with that. Oh, yeah. So it's almost like you're hearing that's like nothing. See, no, I'm stopping at the bureaucracy does with that. Oh, yeah. So it's almost like you're hearing that.

That's right, nothing. See, no, I'm stopping at the bureaucracy. The people who are shutting down who are not, yeah, I only wanna know what's going on. That really is my only objective. What's going on? Yeah, what I want is many facts from as many knowledgeable people as I can get on anything.

Yeah, on any transfer, political prisoners. That's what's going on. China was political prisoners. Yeah, it's wealth transfer. That's what's going on. That's another thing. Okay, all right everybody, is it the dig show? Mandy, I didn't see you in there,

but I'll do you next week. Guys calling in, he's been to prison a whole bunch of times. What do you mean the guy we talked to the other day? No, different guy. Oh shit, I want to talk to the guy we talked to the other week too. Let's get him both on. We can have a prison off. I didn't get to all your animal facts either.

All these people. That's a good merch. Yeah. Did you know that a blue whale's penis is so large that the skin used to be made into aprons for sailors. Spelled S-A-L-E-R-S, whose job it was to cut up the blubber. Did you know that? Um aprons. No, I didn't know that you put that bottle down. I see you pointing it right

at me. I'm not, no, I'm just resting. Just resting. Um, no, I didn't know that they made aprons out of it. They do. Uh, no that their dicks were like 10 feet lower, fucking huge. I don't, that sounds like more of a fashion trivia question. Because you knew that they were big. That's fine. But then the apron thing is not really an animal fact. For the people who cut up the, the blubber, like sailors, I know cutting up a whale is called flinzing.

Flinzing. That's an animal fact. Yeah, but I,, but he's talking, these people specifically cut the blubber? No, the penis skin. Well, no, no, no, but in order, the people who cut up the blubber, wear the aprons,

where the penis is. I think you kinda got half credit on that. Sure. Erb, ERB, beta patched, or ERB perhaps. The loudest animal in the world is a shrimp. Did you know that? Is he talking the pistol shrimp or the mantis shrimp? The pistol shrimp has a special claw that when snapped creates a cavity that collapses,

sending out a water jet at 100 kilometers. Cavitation, stun or kill, you know, fish or whatever, it's like a gunshot underwater. Wow, that's cool. Did you know that the Dementor wasps stings cockroaches with a venom that mine controls the roach into fleeing into the wasps nest? It was named after Harry Potter, probably by a woman. Did you know any of that?

Yeah, I did. There's multiple animals that do that kind of stuff where it's like a women. Yeah, there's one that takes over a caterpillar. Yeah. This is from Kevin McAllister, the boy from home. Yeah, I know. Lure in electric.

Learn this in my time as a fisherman. Did you know there is a type of clam, the blood clam, that has hemoglobin in the blood that can carry diseases like hepatitis to the dinner table? A clam? Yeah. No, but I knew somebody who got hepatitis from an oyster. So that's, you could probably get any number of sexually transmitted diseases from an oyster or a clam as well.

I don't know. Well, let's go with yes. That sounds plausible. About a clam. Yeah. All right, everybody. Specifically clam. I did pretty good.

Yeah, you did pretty good. I think you got most of this. This has been the Dixiel, page on a comp-size Dixiel. Tampa.dix.show. Get your tickets now. It's very cheap there. The rooms are very cheap. Are they? Yeah, I don't know about flights,

but the rooms are pretty cheap. This is how five bet flights are cheap. I would think so, but every time I think that, my brother's place, fucking flights super cheap. Every time I think that they just, they know they're gonna get bailed out, so they fuck you over. I was like, yeah, fuck you.

That's true, too. This is Man's Best Friend, not safe for women, by Aztec Apathy. I caught my eyes it caught my attention. I don't know the roads, but I'll look for directions I pull in the lot and I bark next to trucks and walk past a couple of creepy old fox Park on inside and I track their selection from fine lingerie All right, I go down the road and I see lots of porn Oh, and I wonder just who some of this shit was made for I look to my left, there's a wall full of dildos and silicon bots and tits with no torsos. I go to the right and I'm starting to question why I am here in my whole life's direction And finally I see what I came for A short plastic tube and a gallon of blue

I go to the counter and say I'm not supposed to be recording this I put in my card and he tells me the total Sounds a little... ...slapsided. Is that the right word? A little bit. It kind of sounds like he wasn't listening to the first part, but he overdubbed the second one. I mean, this is...

I love the whole bit. Like Dave, I love you. It's somehow led to this. I am the man to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off.

I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm gonna have to piss off. I'm going to a Bible real pocket, but see. Okay. Oh, no.

A pocket, but see. Oh, yeah. Might have no one on his hands. Don't care if the whole thing is like shreds. No, that's... I had to walk in the sea. No, that's, it's sound like it wasn't listening to the rhythm track. Right? Yeah.

It's about pocket pussy, though. Okay, so, alright. Yeah. Go on, go on, go on. Okay. So the pocket pussy is the man's best friend. Yeah, okay. Not a dog. Catchy.

Yeah, I mean. It is catchy. No, I know, that's not a bad line. That's not a bad line. You know, it's got to listen to... You got to listen to one when you're recording the next one, right? He's got a little instrumental hook going on there. Yeah, tada tada tada. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Ah, let's use the voice mail. Yeah. Hmm. You're gonna why do you hate liberty so much? That's all I wanted to know. Because it's fun. Because I'm miserable so I want everyone else. My rage right now is there's a certain kind of I told you so delivery where they're trying

to make it sound like they're trying to help you. They were there I told you so in a way that's like, I'm giving you a legitimate advice because I care about you. Oh, thanks. And really, I would just rather they say, I fucking told you. Yeah. I was fucking right and you were fucking right. I would rather they do that.

But I said they go, this is why I said, you know, the thing is with this thing, you've got to make sure that you learn that. why i don't want to be about me is i'm not just like you're reveling in an i told you so right now i like to live life with me you wanna say i told you so you want me to smile just do that don't pretend that you're that you're right just don't pretend that you're a helpful person you just just want to say I told you so. I'm always there for you, but if you're messing up, yeah, I'm gonna say it. I got a little bit of a different way of going about life. Yeah, just what? Just right. No. If you know for next time that I'm me, you're condescending. I'm better looking than you. Smarter than you. Over 5.11.

You're fucking makes me a rage man. I'm six foot. You know, you're gonna all just put your shirt on. He's bonafide. And you're about to go, you take one last look in the mirror and you're like, man, I'm looking good at fuck. And then you notice, you got those bullshit fucking deodorant lines on your shirt, which doesn't make any

fucking sense because my armpits were in the inside how the fuck did they get on the outside that makes your fucking say I hate it. I thought I'd be going to a job interview. You just started over. I'm a fucking shirt-thought wet. No, you just started over. Now I only have one good fucking shirt and it's always fucking something man. You can't ever get a break, can you?

No. It's always some super bowl shit fucking deal to it lines a break, can you? No. It's always been super bullshit. Fucking do it right, man. I'm fucking done. Oh shit, Mandy, I, yeah, you gotta just start over with that shit. I had a nice dress shirt. Great. Yeah, back to this, I'll see this clean in six months.

Go back to bed. I'm gonna go back to the fucking cleaners. Mandy, I see you in there, man. Can you call in next week? I'm sorry. It's time I, I didn't see you earlier. That merch argument went on a lot longer than I thought. It would be, um, let's go to the, just go to the interview

like it, just like whatever, man, it's just fucking deodorant going over it. You have deodorant on, I have deodorant, you should actually be happy to see these things knowing that I put deodorant on. You're gonna get some motherfuckers who waddle in here, who have never even, who don't even know how to put the odor on. At least I gave a shot.

Just get around like, like somebody who just smells, like how do they, they have to know, right? Have they just got a nose blind too? I don't know. We have to get this idea across that everyone smells. It can't be if I do or don't. It is. You mean so, you mean so plan accordingly.

Like yeah, assume that you do. It's gotta be, it's not. So if I go, oh, I don't really smell it, it's like 100%. 100%. Dude, it depends on the, you might have, it depends on what you eat. Yeah. You can't always say that, oh, I just don't smell.

Because some depend on what you eat. Every time. Yeah, right, you smell. You, that's how you sit. You see, the only way to fix it. The government's got to get involved. Ha ha. Hey, Dig.

Hey, Sean. Hey. It's your old pal, D.P. Hey, D.P. Well, here's what makes me think. What did your wife do this time? Spanish or modest? So yeah, I went to a, I always party last night.

Okay. Ooh. We were all hanging out real fun time. Everybody's drinking. Somebody says, Hey, can I invite one of my friends? Hostess says, for man. No. And she says, Oh, Hey, my friend says the chief with a couple friends. Can they come to see?

Sure. and says the chief with a couple friends, can they come to see sure. Sure. Next thing we know, a dump truck full of Mexican shows up and just be be be back. Them some all and they've got kids. So, you know, nine kids per family naturally. So this goes from small party everybody's having to do. Right. The Halloween party from Bell dual line Keen's and you're I mean with me a rage about it. Uh-huh is part of my

costume. The 20s went out and bought myself from cigars. Now I've handed out a couple of the cards got them now. But the 30 and $40 cigars were for girl-pelty-peat. Oh, yeah, sure. I stashed them on top of the fridge. Where you can't even fucking feed them. No. I come down now. And there's this.

There's this. That's fucking bandito. That's thirty eight dollars cigars. Oh, my God. That is cool. I just put my hand up on top of the fridge. Oh, here I am. I'm going to go around for cigars.

Yeah, I'm going to bring in thirty eight dollars in your life. I just put my hand up on top of the floor. Oh, he was. Oh, he was. A little more than that. I was around for some cars. Yeah, what is him $38 in your life? How did you say that? That's a fucking thing. Second of all, just sniff that out. Put that hand on a fridge. And there's something here.

I'm going to put it in my mouth. What the fuck? Nice. You have mixed. Someone was hiding this. You have to be on the internet because you're seeing what he does. And he has to ask that stuff because it makes me stealing

smoking your most expensive cars not in a hamedor brought him out for the night. Oh, did he? Yeah, as we said, he had this part of his costume.

Got it. So he's going to have a lot of things to do. Okay, okay. Oh God, first of all, that's a lot of fucking money. That is a, and he was thinking about it all night too. $40 a car. Think about how cool he was gonna be and getting at cigars and he's gonna have like a special one. He wanted to just fucking his punch, double corona. Like the, see that?

That's a really top off the outfit. When I get this out and I'm feeling all good, smoking expensive cigars, and people can say, oh, D.P, what kind of cigars that? I say, well this out and I'm feeling all good. Real smoking expensive scar than people can say, oh, D.P. What kind of cigars that I say? Well, actually, I'm going to explain to you all about cigars. That's the last place I would want to put my hand ever on top of the fridge. It's covered in shit. It's covered in fucking disgusting dust and everything, right? Yeah, 10 years of shit to reach up there and grab a cigar, especially a Mexican.

You know, they're already short. He probably had to get a step stool. And he like looked at the, he was on his phone looking at like cigar prices like, oh, is this one good? Oh, is this one good? Oh, I don't know. I just found it up there. He probably actually jumped up on his buddy's shoulders. Did you hear about the Pope, by the way? No. They thought that he had COVID.

Good. That's a, no, but he's like all of a sudden, he kind of had the symptoms and then went, like they thought it went downhill really, really quickly and they rushed him to fucking, you know, some, I don't know, hospital and stuff. And there was like, they interviewed one of the, one of the ER docs afterwards

and they were like running him through, they're running him through to get to the ICU. I'll tell you why would he go to the ICU. Well, the ICU and he kept saying like he was, he was kind of delirious. They're running him through to get to the ICO. I'll do it. I assume. Why would he go to the ICO? Well, he kept saying like he was kind of delirious. He was saying like, am I in heaven? Am I in heaven? And one of them just goes like, no, sir, we're just taking a shortcut through the Children's

Ward. I knew it was a joke to begin with and then you tricked me and I thought it was a real story. Uh-huh. Red that somewhere. Anyway he's fine. This show's been out of control. Here's a guy who's not fine. This is the guy who showed up. I am's fine. Hahaha. This show's been out of control. Here's a guy who's not fine. This is the guy who showed up.

I am not fine. There's a guy who showed up in the middle of the night and wanted to knock on my tent. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. By the way, I said to email me if he wanted to come in studio, but he just didn't, I don't know. That was a real hard one for people to do.

Email me. Yeah, but she right here just giving me right. No, man. Because then I got to do that. For every single fucking person. Does email me. I'll do the whole thing. Just do what I said. Hey, dick. This is grandma zoo here. The guy who showed up at probably the worst time to show up the burning dick. Yeah, I feel like I should show up with my story. First off, I didn't really steal my mom's that you be. I just kind of say, hey, I feel like I should share a little of my story first off. I didn't really steal my mom's SUV I just can't say I'm I'm taking it out for a bit

Then she kept nagging me like oh, where are you going? You're not gonna do any drugs or anything like yeah, yeah I take your car out. I Know if I told her beforehand a few days you probably would have said no if I was going out to the desert So I tell her the last minute and I just take it off into the night. Right. And then like I thought it was going to be a two hour jam trip into a five hour drive. I'm sure it'll affect the late day. The thing is there's these like cop cars controlling go there actually some cop cars I saw with some like I saw some like fucking myself. There's a little sticks off the antennas. And I saw the rave.

And like the lights, I saw the rave with the same lights as I saw off the cop cars. I thought that was the police. I just fed past the rave. Why would the cops? I don't give a neck for rape bed over. Like another 30 minute drive. I'm asking all the locals like, you know, about this like rival. Man, and they kept pointing this. People could not use GPS coordinates.

And then like, hmm, which I was I think going back and forth. Fucking is it's it's multiple satellites. Very long gas. And the next gas station was about 30 miles away. And then there's no services for 90 miles. Or call mine one or find the next nine one five Man, thanks. We have found you guys Man, that's and everyone must be busy night. He starved to death with his phone in his hand 911 we can make music. Oh, yeah

You and did you maybe then they both they both left everyone left yeah and I just showed up for our getting and yeah it was a disaster there was just burning dick was a disaster well you showed up on the last night at like two in the morning disaster there's a lot more details to it but and pretty much and not no is a fun disaster though i i prefer to say not show man full-fucking-lark

driving us all in the end right well that's true that's kind of my brainy dick experience in not show more to it but that's pretty much you know the whole thing in a nutshell alright Jake don't fuck this up

don't do it he said it's something else again let's see oh god how he said yeah hey Jake grandma do again one little uh-huh one thing I left out I forgot the one

in the nutshell fuck that my mom's SUV so fucking bad as it paid. 218, it kind of pushed the front door all the way to it. Fucked up the hinge. So I could pay like 200 bucks for a fairway. He hit me. Because it was so windy, open the door with oil. That's a good idea.

How fuck? I'd be using my full force just to close the damn thing. Oh no. All right, got fucking good. Yeah. Oh god. Oh, no. All right, go fuck yourself. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, no. Sorry, buddy.

It's windy. That fucking wind must have been howling. It had to be, at least. Did you check and see was it? I mean, did anybody check and see if it was like 60 mile an hour fucking? Well, it rocked the whole car. Yeah, rocked the S. It tore my tent apart.

Broke one of the poles. That's wild. A guy was a guy who was pissing and his dick broke off. In the wind. That's good. That's good. Read the red. It's, yeah, you think, oh, he pissed in his own face.

It's like, no, it's dick broke off. You guys can't get married. That's a joke. One of you is white and one of you is black. Right, what the? Ah! Hold it right there, kids. That actually happens.

That's a, that's not something you'd wanna insult. That's not a good bullying tactic because people don't care as much about their color, or their race as they do about being perceived as being homosexual. So because not because of the homosexuality of it, because being homosexual is the opposite of being straight, not necessarily because,

it's not that the shame of being gay, it's as far away from being straight as you can get. So that's why it hurts so much, the more you know. Ah, all right? Yeah. That's how, if you really want to get them kids don't be a racist because it's not people don't they they go online and they talk about it they get tons of attention for you just giving a tension

couple more hey here's what makes me a rage man whatever i'm trying to turn up the fucking volume on my phone and all of a sudden it won't let me because it has a the latest prop that oh listening to higher volume uh... you're hearing not a mind like me shut the fuck up it's very quiet as it you know and the maximum recommended volume isn't even that fucking loud yeah trying to listen to shit in my fucking car

you know so why don't I try to turn the volume up on my phone at the very Fuck everything not everything is I put at the same level of my phone. I got to click on a prompt. I got to like, you know Go away and sign it also get my lawyer to come in and sign it Slash my hand make a blood slash my hand, make a blood black yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

it's very sunny agreement, you just click okay, that's part of it. So by hearing it's fucking damaged, you know, nobody ever says, hey, by the way, you go to a concert,

uh, it's very good to be honest. You're interested to be damaged. Now they just go, all right, 30 bucks, get in. I mean, people do,

I have seen these as saving, but it's like, well, no shit. We're fucking complicated for just a simple function. Yeah, you know what I hate is that you can't turn down the porno until it starts. Like, because if you do volume, the ringer goes down and then you start the porno and it's like, oh, fuck, I know, because it differentiates between seeing if she's waking up.

Like, the ringer and the, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, just give me seeing if she's waking up like the ringer Yeah, I know like just give me a waking up Right that happened that shit happened. Oh, it's not awake. Okay, you know what fucking follow up rage follow-up rage but can follow up rage but can remote start like every ever new but remote start like oh yeah that only a because it doesn't turn the

ice or but yeah what a cold modern i remember i called i remote start my looking car i didn't and I just try to drive that buckler, but no. You have to have your foot on the brake and hit the start button otherwise your car just fucking turns off.

What the fuck is wrong with that? Oh, what did I start for? What did I start for? What did I start for? How long? Like, what the fuck is it? And you bring your foot on the brake. No. And then you hit the button and start.

What did I start it for? I can't even for sure. Because it doesn't start in the frame mode. You just cry. It starts in like half a million. If I have some mode start my car, it's not fully started. No, but the AC doesn't,

it's in like an idle mode where the air conditioner doesn't work. But the engine is on, right? Yeah. Okay, but it's not on enough to make the air work. I have to begin his case. Would it have made, would it have made like the heat, it's warmed up so it can, the heater will work, right? When he gets in there, I assume that the heater works because it's on a different system.

That's still, how he described it, that still sounds dumb. Like that thing should fucking fully fire up. It doesn't. It's so frustrating because then you have to get it in. What it should, it should. That's, it's remote't. It's so frustrating because then you have to get in. It should. It should. It's remote start. Is it fucking started or not?

Right. Can I use the AC? No. Yeah. How the fuck is it started? You have to get 100 degrees in my car. Yeah. You'll blind it.

For you, it does no good. That's worthless. Yeah. And it's like all that shitty, musty, un-acid air. Yes. So you have to get in and turn it on. Yeah. It's so fucking aggravating and worthless. And I've seen it where it's his,

we have to press the brakes and press a button and then it's on for real. Right. Yeah, I get it. It's good, Rage. I don't know who's designing these things. Japanese lawyers fucking come into that. Yeah, that's always.

Probably. Always, because yeah, it's gonna be, what is, this could just cost us millions of dollars. Could we, don't know? So we better not have it. Let's just, but we still wanna advertise of it. Okay, well let's do a version where it starts, but nothing works.

Yeah. And then you have to get in and press a bunch of buttons for it to work. Okay, do we need a breathalyzer? No. You don't need, why would we put a breathalyzer on cars? Well, because people are like driving drunk and, no, don't even get the sky out of here. You're fired for saying that. I'm just saying we got a lot of other safety features. No one

ever would have to put a breathalyzer on? No. Good. How many people die because of drunk driving accidents every year, drunk driving accidents deaths every year? Is it, how many do you think? What's your over under? Drunk driving accidents? I think it's, I don't know, like 15,000? 15,000? Something like that, I don't know.

Drunk driving stats. 10% these fatalities for every, uh-huh, uh-huh. Just say the fucking number. 100,000. More than a quarter of all, oh, that's what a grade stat. More than a quarter of all traffic related deaths are the direct result of alcohol impairment. Oh, so it's, it's a quarter of a number. I don't know. What a, that's an incredible amount of deaths. It's from the zebra. I have no idea what the fuck the zebra is. Do you I deaths by year?

I'm fucking done with duck, duck, go. There's such trash. Oh, there's such fucking garbage every time I try to switch to that. Every time I try to switch off of Google, I use something that is just inexcusable garbage. Just driving drugs, there, wow, there it is, a fucking graph.

Oh, okay, a fucking graph, right to the CDC, Duk-Duk-Duk-Go, you fucking idiots. 10,000, about 10,500. And 2016, okay. 10,000 people. So that's not enough to lock it down, all right. Yeah. 10,000 people a that's not enough to lock it down. All right. Yeah, and thousand people a year One more

Oh, this is the guy who's sending the animal corner jingle. Oh All right, okay I'll extend it. I'll okay. I wrote the music for the the jungle inspired theme thing for a shod animal corner I like it yes where i played live woodwood instruments and live jen bays and i took an hour out of my day make that for you for free on a lunch break

that i work uh... man i'm really busy did i not say that i liked it this might be the other one month because i'm on crunch i do game i was like for a living or use game i was just a little bit of a little thing i wrote just a thing for shodd animal corner and what did you say about it and little short and then i got a right to go to the

place that you can then the next week reverence got shit all over it wall and but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but everyone's got shit all over it. Well, yeah. What the fuck, dude? Oh, yeah. And then he's a strong, animal corner. And it's not.

We got all the nature of his. I'll do it. I'll extend it. I'll make it a little longer. I'll add some animal sounds. I'll do some voiceover to make it face to animal corner. Yeah. And you get it all for free, too.

I'm going to do this complaining, man. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Not appreciate the free music I do. You're not going to win with him. I'm actually glad you guys are using that theme for the animal corner. It's fun every time it comes up. I don't know. I mean, I mean, I would you put that much effort into? Cause he's a craftsman.

Oh boy. Yeah, as you say, I did a bunch of live music for this. Yeah. Oh no. How many people know what a Jim Bay is? What is it? It's an African drum. It's like a konga kind of, but you can. A konga. Yeah, well, the konga. You like a konga kind of, but you can...

A konga? Yeah, well, the konga. You mean a konga? Well, it's pronounced, it's actually more like konga. It's how you're supposed to say that. I'm sure you can't say it konga. Konga. Yeah, you can. That's actually how it's supposed to be pronounced.

But let me hear this. Let me hear this jingle again. But what? Yeah, but a jimbe, it's kind of like an African drum set. You can get a lot more sounds out of it. Yeah. They're cool. Tune them through.

Oh, it did Reverend Scott put all the animals on it. Yes. What? That's great. He doesn't like another fucking artist. Doesn't like collaborating with an artist. I get that it is a little maybe short. So wait a minute, that guy's complaining. Let's see how much he actually did.

He could just loop it. He's got. Well, you can record and mix. It's, I'm there, done. That's pretty good. Done. It's good. It's good. What's he building at work? Uh, now a video game.

He's a long shit can take ya. I'll be surprised. He's probably, he's probably, he's, he's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right.

He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's getting it right. He's my shit would take you or him. He's miking up different different instruments He's probably like you know, he's gonna say about what he yeah, what goes into it? He's he's getting it right up front I want Reverend Scott probably whipped that thing out in five seconds. Well, I know That's a bus of mean It's because it's hilarious and you can just oh you can just shit out comedy It's funny. It's nothing to take anything at all

Oh, you can just shit out comedy. And if it's funny, it doesn't take anything at all. Animal sound effects, you can shit out. No, he's got a monosure in it. And he picked funny ones, he's got the goat at the end. That's familiar animals, yes. Man, he probably is mentally slaved away at that. It is funny. So I'll give him credit for that,

but that doesn't mean, if you're a naturally funny person, that doesn't mean that it took him a long time being as funny as he is. But he probably would have tried extra hard to be extra funny and thought about it even longer. Well, we know that he's a funny guy by the things that he's sent in over the past five or six years. So that's true.

So he's talented. Yeah. And this guy's talented at complaining. That's another talent. You can be talented in multiple areas. All right, everybody. It's not a zero-sum game. Good one.

The implication is that I came and ex-hilarious. Milkers. What are you guys talking about? Oh, that was rowdy and fun. Yeah. It sucks when you're not in here. I know why, I don't, fans, fans there. They're just terrible.

Dude, calling in is weird because the tie, you get the slight delay and the timing and everything. Yeah, I know, I don't like it. Sounds all odd. We can just actually, we can just put up like a shield for you for COVID. That's funny actually. That's fucking recommended isn't it? My first thought is like, that's a really good idea.

Mine too. That's what restaurants do. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, the fucking guidelines. No, you're right. All right, that's what we're gonna do next time. No, you're right because the SAG rules are, if you have multiple actors in at a time,

they have to be isolated from each other. So one room has two big ISO booths in the back and look in the live room. So you can get three people. They're not, you know. All right, goodbye. See ya. Thank you. you.