The Dick Show - Episode 240 - Dick on The Big One

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

"Death to 2020", mass-produced personalities, Wonder Woman 1984 made me start my period, new and improved lighters, "Cosmo says you’re fat", The WHO says "The Big One" is coming, the science says you don't have to tell people you have AIDS, a young man describes his perfect woman, wet masks, shooting politicians with vaccines, The Grand Wazoo's Christmas album, and there is nothing to look forward to; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Cuxmas carols came out after Christmas, didn't it? Oh, I don't remember. It was so long ago. Remember it was so long. So many lawsuits, so many friendships falling out. So many. So many. What do I do?

I'm losing my friends. I can't believe it. I'm like myself. Well, I'm gonna do my looks on my pants like a man. I'm gonna talk to you. I need a spray. What if I need a mingle, I need a mingle. It's gonna give you let you warm. I got a lot of stuff here. You do? Yeah, like usual. I don't know if it's any of it's any good.

Well, you know, I don't know about louder, but Dick's face is totally smaller today. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Mm-mm. Oh, I don't think it's that small. Eating lemons all morning. Maybe if I get some tape and stretch my eyes out like this. You look like an anime girl. Don't tell me, Jon, don't tell me with a good time, Jon.

Right, exactly. You'll get somebody in here to do that. Permit for the weekend. No, at least for the weekend. Johnson Brown made these face rigs of Maddox and Lucy Wilde, I think, the guy who made colony siege. Johnson Brown. That's a horrible sentence you just uttered.

Well, I, I mean, Maddox and Lucy Wilde in the same sentence. Exactly. Yeah, that's true. Two people that I really want to fuck. So I think you can, I think I can load that program and then pretend to be them. Really? Anybody can. I think we can switch off even.

I'm gonna load that program today and see if he still has him. I took a look at it. Anyway, let's do this, y'all. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Bucket even the hardest city of failure. I'm a hosting a K.A. It's $20 million man, voted world's worst Mexican 90 weeks running. Oh my God.

Milestone. What am I else don't know? It's going to be a hundred soon, Sean. Special show. No, it's going to be a hundred weeks of the world's worst Mexican. Does that mean it's a, does that mean it's two years since I fucked up Australia? Well, and now I can't go. No, I up Australia? Well, now I can't go for you. I can't go for you.

Now I can't go for you. Yeah, it was about this time, two years ago, we were all geared up for Australia. God, I'm hacking shit in big suitcases that I bought just for the occasion. It will be two years in April, right? Yeah, only to be denied at the airport, sticking my hand. I will never, I will never forget that car ride down. Oh, it's me screaming at people. That was like totally unhinged.

You were, you were actually better than I would have been. I'm used to people fucking up. I mean, I'm used to people fucking up. I mean, I'm used to people fucking me over. Yeah, that was like, that was a very depressing car ride to the airport. You should have been in the car ride back. Oh, man, oh man. Yeah.

Oh, Google, how to change my name.com. Google. How to start a new life. Right. Google, I went over to the Facebook app I was the delete my profile but Nitzok that's all right people I don't the people won't miss me I'll just start over somewhere else we'll move out to we'll move out to the desert for a while I fantasize about that shit all the time just fucking to in the woods somewhere I mean like still close enough to civilization but just where everything is just, you know.

Yeah. Luring tourists in, murdering them, and that elaborate ways like that, starting over. Yeah, building up a legend for yourself is like the forest flayer. See, flames, flames people. And then, you know what? You fuck up again.

You fuck up, you get caught jerking off. I got the forest flayer jerking off on his, I got damn it. I gotta start over again. Delete, delete, delete. Delete nobody's DMCA take down of the forest flayer cop. I'm starting over, starting over again. I'm moving to a big city.

If you catch a serial killer jerking off, like in a really pathetic way, nobody's afraid of him anymore Exactly exactly. Oh, it was a whole time. He's fucking jacking off to what Not his flayings like I would have a son right how he's jacking off to Hentai. What this a man holds no power over me at all Exactly no power over me at all. No We're done with 2020. Oh, I didn't even get to talk about that week,

about that last week, all the 2020 people. 20 Dotties over. It's dead. Die 2020. At 20 Dottie, you gotta get out of here. Everything's, we're gonna have a nice restart. Oh, and the new year, 2020 is gone. He he he.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, I don't really. Shut the fuck up. Mass-produced personalities. Right. Mass-produced personalities. That's the future. Every day you wake up, you get a loop

grateful of your personalities, your catch phrases, your, your, what do the pickup artists call them, your flare, your, your boa, your flare, like like a strap on dildo that they wear on their hat. What do they call those things? Like DUI Fridays on their suspenders and stuff. The full day you wake up and he's one drops it off at your front door. Here's your list of catch phrases and things to annoy people with today. Yeah. Here's your politics of the day. Here's your list of catch phrases and things to annoy people with today. Yeah. Here's your politics of the day.

Here's your hot take for the, ooh, am I gonna like the Star Wars prequels today? Oh, they weren't that bad. How about that? I'm gonna take that to the internet. That's my opinion. And that is how, yeah. That's how it's done.

That's how your programming is delivered. I hate it so much. In the New World 2020, part two. I tried to watch that Wonder Woman movie last night. Yes, I did the same. Did you not last, not last night? Who's idea was it to watch the Wonder Woman movie? I was still falling in my relationship.

It was not me. I did it by myself. I'm like, I hate it. I'm so fucking sick of this world now. I'm just gonna go sit in my chamber of solitude and watch. I'm gonna go sit in the studio, fire up one to woman 84 and watch it by my fucking self. This is one where usually what these big movies, I'm fairly, you know, I'm fairly conscientious about not spoiling things. You know, I get to give people a little grace here because I know that the good guy

went, that the capes shit wins, right? Well, you're not going to, the capes shit wins. Yeah, the capes shit wins, true. They learn something that's contrary to their powers and they have to use their mind and muscles to figure it out. So the capes shit prevails. So how, in the end, how piss poor is that moving? You know, let me tell you another thing that I hate about 2020 the death to I don't know

Who's more annoying the death to 2020 people as though we're not entering a dystopian hellscape the likes of which humanity's never encountered before or the people who Decided to post on January one. You know what all in all 2020 was pretty good year for me. That's more annoying. You know what? All in all, everybody might be under martial law. That's more annoying. That's more annoying. The economy might have been crippled permanently. Amazon and Apple and Microsoft might have rolled up a trillion and a half dollars with another one,

with another one getting right from me on the way, but you know what, I got married. So it's a pretty good year. Yeah. So it's a pretty good year for me. Pretty good year for the old kids. It's your over here to hear it. Fuck you. Nobody wants to hear it. Keep that shit to yourself.

This is your loot box personality crate. Only tell good stories that happen to you today. Everyone will fucking hate you. Um, Wonder Woman 84 starts with a stadium of women cheering at a sporting event. Mm-hmm And I was out immediately. What do you mean? What do you mean? You were out as a new turn the movie off or my brain was out. Yeah, I can't. What is this? This is the women are out of sports. The women are at a sports at a sports. Well, the women on the island decided to go, they're not just having lesbians all the time. But it isn't the island, all women. Yeah.

So they conceptualized sports on their own and it takes place in a giant stadium and they're all cheering like animals and monsters. And there's no beer, by the way. I like effectively the crowd. I think kind of effectively Greek. I mean, yeah. Right? So the Greek women beer by the way. I like the fact of the crowd. They kind of effectively Greek. I mean, yeah, right? So the Greek women got to the Olympics. And the women did.

And they just love showing up on game day. And rooting for their favorite woman or little child. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud.

I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. games, the game of the day. Yeah, yeah. And boomer Asaya Sinena is up there, commentating on the, this is what's happening. That's a fucking dated reference. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Boomer Asaya. They're all, what are they? Elbowy, oh, you gotta get,

you gotta get a load of this little girl. Yeah. Oh, man, do they have fucking fantasy Olympics in this island of, island of lesbians? What the, what is, who's buying the, who is this for? Who is the target demographic for a stadium of women pretending to like sports? Why are they pretending to like sports? Who, who makes the kids?

I'm sure that's, I'm sure that's been explained, you know, in the comics or whatever, the anything that I, that I have, I have no idea what the sports does. Who makes the kids? They get loved by sports and then they have more little tomboy's. Yeah, sportlings, sportlings. And then I made it all the way and got worse from there, cheering, just cheering mindlessly at an event they cannot see at an event that takes place outside of outside of the stadiums. Well, that's accurate. Yeah. Hey, let's go. Let's have sports. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's make a stadium. What's our event? A horse ride. We watch them start and finish. We watch them start

and then we sit here and slap each other in the face and then they come back in and we all scream like animals. And how do they know if anybody cheats? Well, we don't. Well, somebody knew, um, little girl cheated. And then my world, my Wonder Woman journey ended when it was two actresses sitting in a coffee shop talking about each other as actresses. Yeah. Talking about the other one in real life, getting out all of their life in secure to world famous painful scene. Oh my god. Yeah to world famous actresses both who I'm sure. I'm 99% of men would bang just on looks alone like the comedian is looks like shit on part of what is that bitch's name? Kristen Wigg. Kristen Wigg. I was talking about a miscast. I fucking hate her. I mean, oh, God, I hate her in that movie.

It's like she's having a charisma seizure every time she, oh, I'm so awkward. And what's so awkward, I'm about to puke out my fucking stomach. I'm, my acting method is like a Labrador whose stomach is in the middle of turning around into a knot so they have to put me to sleep. And so the whole move is so painful but then to just put her in it. What about what?

Immediately Jesus Christ. What about Pascal or whatever his name is? Who's that? The guy with the fat face, like the Shicer. Whoa. The Mandalorian. You better watch that kind of talk. What? Fat face? the like the shister. Whoa, the mandler watch it. You better watch that kind of talk. What fat face?

The small, it's not small face. That's the American. I think it's the time. No, you can say shister. You cannot. No, you can't. It's not, it's a, it's false that it has anything to do with Jews. Oh, wow.

Whoa, I didn't even say no, because a lot of people misunderstand that. You can absolutely say shister. It is not racist in any way. That's people fuck that up. You know the Jews are leading the pack on the vaccines. Did you know that? The COVID vaccines? Are they?

Yeah, they're like 12% vaccinated. Really? Really the highest per capita? Because they have this remarkable policy of, well, we have a vaccine that goes bad if it sits for too long. So let's try to get the old people and the healthcare workers first, but then pretty much anybody. If you don't have somebody, see they have this, that Israel, I'm saying, thought up this remarkable strategy called, well,

let's try to get all the people at risk and the healthcare workers and stuff, the people who are most exposed to it. Let's try to get them first. And then if we can't, you know, we got a limited amount of time. Let's just start sticking people. You, right? Come here. Literally, yes.

Come here. Pizza boy. I got one vaccine. It's about to go bad. Get over here. Right in your penis. It is real. Oh, row, no.

Yeah, they recommend to do it in the penis. Did you know that? That sounds like a dirty trick. Oh, wow. You don they recommend to do it in the penis. Did you know that? That sounds like a dirty trick. Well, you don't know what Israel broads look like. If they come over and go, let me see that penis. It doesn't matter if she has a machete in her hand. Well, that's what I mean, because I'm picturing Natalie Portman. They're hotter.

Yeah, she's dead. That's why they center to America. Meanwhile in America, in America, we have the wonderful policy of give it to the healthcare people. Mm-hmm. Even if they're in accounting, it doesn't matter. They get it. Um, give it to all people.

And if you give it to anybody else, we're going to find you $1 million. This is the law. Until they're all done. So what do you, what would you rather do? Just let them expire or pay a million dollars for giving it to somebody who's not, well, we'll just dump them in the trash then I guess. Well, to see what the dollars worth. Another great, though, that's true. That's true. Wonder Woman shut off when it was two actresses. Oh, so you made it out. You made it like a quarter of the way in the movie. Did I? Is that was a quarter of the? I don't know.

They sit down for coffee and I shit you not the the comedian with her hair looking so fucked. Yeah, no woman would ever leave the house. Look, asking Wonder Woman if she's ever been in love. What the fuck is this? What am I watching? I had my period during that scene. Congratulations. Thank you. I had a lot of extra blood in my body.

Yeah. I had to shoot out. Have you ever been in love and I assume you're out all the time because you're so beautiful. You're like, oh no, I think you're so beautiful and fun. And everyone like, is this fucking, and what the fuck is going on here? What kind of conversation am I witnessing here? Oh no, it's appalling.

It's so, but then I'm doing a little bit of a story. This is revolting. This is absolutely revolting. That we have to sit here and pretend that this conversation with two actresses deserves to be filmed in any way. It doesn't even deserve to be written down. Oh, an absolute trash.

We have another show to play. It just gets worse and worse from there. Well, I'm glad I stopped watching it. I had to go learn how to use a tampon. Oh. Oh, can you give me those goofy lighters, please? I'm gonna tell you what makes me a rage, too. This is why none of this shit will ever work.

None of the trying to save, none of the trying to save anything ever works. I'll show you right now. Okay, by the way, got a little stats for you. Yeah. Global warming, this is from an article about global warming in COVID. One of the few silver linings from the COVID-19 pandemic

has been the significant reduction in greenhouse gas emissions as people stayed home to prevent the spread of the virus. Global emissions of carbon dioxide dropped 7% in 2020. The biggest drop in history following the industrial revolution in the 19th century, down, blobby blue, blobby blue, the global carbon project announced earlier this month. So everybody's staying home, not driving at all, shutting down all of society, knocked it down only 7%. Does that maybe remove some of the idea that we have any kind of responsibility to do anything at all, if at, at, at completely halting life as we know it,

knocked it down only seven percent. But isn't a, don't like all the, like the five largest ships that, you know what I mean? Exactly what I'm saying. Yeah, most of it. Yeah, because that doesn't stop. Yeah. No, as far as just exactly what I'm saying. No, very little comes from cars and things like that.

It's big industry. So are we ready to stop with all of the ride your bicycle to work, only eat paper? Well, instead of, I'm in no, I'm in no hurry to get an electric car. This is this monstrosity. My sister got me well, check that out. You say you want to light a candle, right? Yeah. Now you're just too far away to get the job done. You might be from the Stone Age, the dark ages. You might be

from a dragon flint over, hoping it catches the wick stupid caveman, right? Very unsophisticated 2020. Small, very unhealthy, very unhealthy methods of lighting a fire. What you want is this over engineered disaster? Look at that. This is a, it looks like a drumstick. Looks like a giant. Like the people are not watching the pen or something. Like a video. Let me just make sure it's working.

Yeah. Looks like a vape pen, right? Yeah. At the size of a drumstick. It's pretty big, yeah. It has a little charging port here. Oh my God. So you can USB charge it.

What you do, very simple, very simple. What you do is depress the safety. Now, if you wanted to light a candle, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round,

or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round,

or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a second-round, or a fire onto the thing that's flammable, right? You retain, you usually lose it before the butane runs out or some, some filthy, bastard steals it from you at a bar. They're 10 cents, so you're 10 cents. And even though you can't buy them anymore at the store, they're impossible to find now for some reason or regular life.

I haven't looked for a lighter. Yeah, I had to buy a bunch on Amazon. I can find it. So this thing arrives. Okay. My sister got me one of these last year, and I said, okay, well, you know, I'll just ignore that. I'm sure that's just a little fad.

She got you one of those last year for Christmas. So you get you to let go. So you let go. Oh, I have three now, because this year my aunt got me a two pack of these. This is what you do with this over-engineered nightmare. You depress the safety mechanism. You make sure that your lighting battery capacity is at a charge, but with enough charge to deploy the lighter.

And then you press this, you press this mechanism to slide the lighter out and it creates this arc. You see this arc charge across the tip. Very cool. And then this you use to light whatever happens to be. And that's the selling point right there. The art. Ooh, science. Yes. Now this, this you can, this you can see is far superior because I have a death grip on this safety mechanism and this lighter and I can still only get it to go for a couple of seconds. I have a question.

So go ahead. Already, you have a question about the lighter, the lighting mechanism. I have a question about the thought process about regarding why you would need one of these. Who thinks? Who? And previously, and the, like, what about you makes people go, you know what? Would be perfect for him? You know what? You know, like that. He's got, right. He's got a, I bet he's got a lot of candles around that he lights all the time.

You want to try to light a candle with one of these things? No. You look like you're stabbing, you look like you're stabbing your dick against a doorknob, trying to light a candle with one of these things. Because it takes such, here, use it. It takes such tremendous force to light the god damn, to get the power of this going. Well you figure it out, you know, it's a simple lighter. He's one of this. It's one, it's literally mankind's first invention is fire. Okay.

And we've found a way to make it so complicated. There you go. So, you don't have to hold this thing. What do you mean? What's it for then? I don't know. So make you look dumb. I don't know.

Yeah, you just, I don't know what that means. Maybe it turns it on and off. Probably. Oh, see, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's smart. Yeah, see. Push it once. Push it once. My point is, now, now it Yeah, yeah, it's smart. Yeah, see. Push it once. Push it once. My point is, now, now it's cool.

It's not cool. My point is, we've taken a simple lighter, plastic and mutated. Well, it's simple now that I figured it out. This is not, no, no, this is not simple. Because it runs out of batteries in like a day and a half. And then you have to go to, how many candles are you light? It just runs out on its own. So we've taken the most simple thing in the universe and a half. And then you have to go to candles. Are you light? It just runs out on its own. So we've taken the most simple thing in the universe,

a lighter that works forever, Spark Fuel, that a child can, that they have to engineer to be more difficult because children can use them. Sure, sure. And they've turned it into a computer. Yeah. That has batteries that cannot be destroyed, plastics, metals, alloys, rubber

that is at 10 times the size of a lighter. And I mean, yes, all of our savings in pollution, we have turned some bullets simple, something as simple as a water or matches into this cluster of a device. And I have three of them, three of Three of them, shipping all around the country. Because we cannot live, we cannot live sustainably. This is why. Yeah, yeah. No, that's just, that's so fitting.

Oh wow, another one of, oh you know what? Good illustration of. Two more of these. Yeah. Fantastic. Right, but the same people who have those are driving electric cars and eating vegan and, you know, right, I Right, but the same people who have those are driving electric cars and eating vegan, and you know, right?

I mean, but they last any one thing. They need their gadgets. God, that's crazy. I have, I know. Why would somebody make that? No, look, you do need that button. No, because it doesn't, okay. Turn it on.

Now do it. Ta-da. Okay, well, there you go. Now I learn something today. Pfft. All the subways, all the bicycles, it's all a scam. It's all a money scam to go, to put the money into some other wasteful piece of crap like this.

We're gonna make, that's it. We're gonna make wasteful pieces of crap. Those, that's what we do. Those lighters, those are illegal because they're wasteful piece of crap like this. We're gonna make, we're gonna make wasteful pieces of crap. Those, that's what we do. Those lighters, those are illegal, because they're wasteful. Yeah. And then they take the money and they make this contraption. They give it to a clean energy consortium that builds a contraption such as this as well. No, well, that thing, there you go.

Well, that thing lasts forever theoretically. No, because I'm gonna smash them. Yeah, okay. What about, well, the batteries will only take so many charges. That's true for all the chargeable batteries, right? So at what point? That's the fucking, and then it's, you know, that the tips are going to get covered in wax or something.

The arc tips. Yeah, and it's going to be rendered useless. Puh. I don't know. Anyway, Wonder Woman. It's awful. Maybe I useless. No. Anyway. Wonder Woman. It's awful. Maybe I should watch it.

Maybe we should watch a dictation of that. I don't know if anyone wants to see that. It's just so bad. It's, I mean, it got worse from, I'm surprised. I mean, I don't know if I, if I think you would have stuck it out or turned it off earlier, but I promise you that it gets worse from there. It nothing, none of it makes any sense.

I mean, you basically have this. Starting with the women, there's like this. There's like this, this like McGuffin that this guy's after that grants you, it's like a fucking, it's like an inanimate genie. That's cool. That's cool. It's so fucking dumb.

It's just so goddamn stupid. Trump signed that omnibus bill and I'm basically going to burn all of my Trump stuff. Yeah. All he had to do, all he had to do was know was veto one of them. Yeah. Really. Yeah. Couldn't do it.

Yeah. Well, because if he did, he couldn't fucking do it. I mean, I don't know. They probably would, I don't know if they would have the votes to overwrite it, right? I mean, I don't know. Yeah, but I had to do. That's all you had to do. And everybody involved deserves to be shot with a COVID vaccine to keep for their health.

But they all need to be lined up against a wall and shot one by one with a COVID vaccine. Right. With a COVID vaccine. For doing that to us. Right. Did you see the Pelosi spray paint? I thought this was interesting to say this. You know how they got the car? Got tagging. So we took a shit on her porch again. Yeah, and Antifa. Yeah. Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco home. Let me get a picture of this. It's hard to find a picture, isn't it?

Okay, here we go. So, let me ask you something. Does anything about this look a little odd to you? Does any of it look strange to you in any way? Does anything jump out as like a little one more thing, colombot type of strangeness? Cause what? Wait, can you, what seems weird to me?

It's how the paint ends abruptly at the brick over here. Now I've, we don't want to deface the brick like just on the garage door. I don't know. I wanted to rent. I know how to mess up stuff. What is that you go right for the rent? What's the cancel rent? What is, where does it stop?

What is that symbol that? That's the anarchy symbol. Oh, presumably Antifa did this, which I mean, I don't know, I guess they, I guess they, they're pretty succinct in there. It looks like somebody pretending to K, cross out to K, cancel rent, anarchy, anarchy, but the anarchists have prevented the spray paint from going on the brick over here. Consider it, consider it anarchists, because getting, repainting a garage door is cheap relatively compared to sandblasting a brick surface.

Sure. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Sean, I don't know. I know. I've been getting into a lot of conspiracy theories lately, but yeah. I don't know. Is it the cows head and the line them up? Shoot them with a vaccine. Yes, thank you. The COVID vaccine. Thank you. Oh, here's one for you. It occurred to me that children in the future, now I was singing that I like Big Butts song earlier. You were. Because it occurred to me that children in the future will not know what it means.

It will be like one of those things that here is a because they're all Big Butts. No, the future. And the future's Cosmo will not say you're fat. They'll be like Cosmo says you're fat. What do you mean? They would never say that. Gosh, this is Cosmo's cover. I thought this was a fake,

but somebody says it's real for February. Yeah, she's in the hospital. She suffers from excessive personality. Ha, ha, ha. Really? Yeah. So that's how they're coding that. Yeah.

Oh, excessive first call morbidity. Right. Right. Right. Very gregarious. Very. Morbidly gregarious. Right.

Right. Animated. Right. Full of life. Her veins, her arteries were packed so full of life. Yeah. That are hard exploded with happiness. Right. Yes. This is healthy exploded with happiness. Right. Yes.

This is healthy. This woman's gut is hanging halfway down her thigh. Now, they must have had her in wires, right? Like in the movies. And then just airbrushed them out. Wires to pull her arm up like this because there's no way she gets in this. No, there's no way that single leg can take that. This is Daniel son.

We're talking Miyagi couldn't get this bitch on one leg. You're saying it's, yeah, it's why the largest animals are in the ocean. It's the square cube law, right? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, the volume is just, it's this is a surface area in the volume just increases way too much. This is a 400 pound flamenco. Flamenco pose. She's up on one flamenco.

Say, dancing flamenco, is it? Doing a yoga pot. What, honey, what, is that, do you know the yoga pose? Is that warrior three, where she's got her hand reaching back, grabbing her ankle, and the other one reaching for the twinkies on the top shelf, I suppose. Yeah. She's wearing the hardest working sweats and show business. Yeah.

This, and it says this is healthy. This is healthy. In the middle of a, in the middle of a pandemic that targets the full of life, and the boy and boy and the gregarious and the jolly. This is healthy. This is, I mean, she's got two tattoos on her arms. I assume these are either surgeon general warnings or beef grades.

Mm. Oh. Oh. It's TI women. I asked, this has got to be, it looks fake. It looks like a shitty fake, but this suit, um, turns out it's real. Oh, good. It says it's real.

I looked up another one, I looked up one on their website. Man. And this is what, this was the version on their website. I guess they have a different one for print and digital. Um, or a UK. And they've got, these are kids, right? They're really young. It's like kids.

Oh, look at the size of the head on this one. I know, and it looks like, Oh my God, it's like my head on a little girl. It's like a jackal anteron with, look at the, this is looking thousand times more offensive than cuties. That's like a, that's more than a double chin.

That's, it goes all the way up to her ears. It's a double, it's an inverted shoulder. She's got, she's got the tombstone, shoulders going up. She looks like an underarm her logo. This is ours. This has healthy T.I. Women on why wellness doesn't have to be one size fits all.

What? There you go. You're ready for, this is a super spreader event right here. This, this behemoth is a super spreader event. Uh, we're going to have to roll her collectively. We're going to have to pull all our money and roll this fat bitch across the finish line of life, whether we want to or not. Meanwhile, here's what the BBC has to say about it.

Here's the, here's, you know, I like to have both sides of the issue. Here's a bitch who's hot as fuck. Right. And the headline is the dangerous downsides of a fitness obsession. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the key word in that headline is obsession. Oh, yes, that's the key word. Yeah, I mean, that's what it should be.

Gotta be careful, because you don't want to get too obsessed with your fitness. Yeah. Yeah, and it has nothing to do with the fitness. It's just obsession in general is, you know what I mean? It makes your life out of balance. I mean, not really. I don't really know what you mean. Like I don't know anyone who's worked out

to an unhealthy degree. No, no, no, not necessarily physically, although you can. I mean, like people who are true obsessives, like the guy who has to go to the gym for 15 minutes on his lunch break or. Yeah, let me tell you something else. The same people are buying both of these magazines and newspapers. The same fat chicks who are buying this one that says this is healthy.

Look at all these young fat cells are buying the magazine that says the dangers. Well, I know. The fitness. Of course, because it enables them to feel, oh, it to rationalize what they, how unhealthy they are. It says, this is healthy. This one looks like me. The other one, oh, I could never do that anyway, but it's like, it's dangerous. This is healthy. Yikes. Just fucking yikes. There needs to be like a baiting magazine, jerking off magazine. Baiting.

Baiting. One of the sex spots coming. The dangers of not beating off. Yeah, right. Every day. Tied twice a day. Yeah. This is healthy and it's a guy, he's just like a raw.

His tick looks like raw meat. Oh god. I see what else I have here. The big one is coming. Yeah. Did you know that? The big one's always coming. The big, this isn't, but not a quick. Yeah. The big pandemic is coming. The who has warned that a worse pandemic than COVID could be around the corner. Yeah. Well, that's what we've seen. A lot of things could be around the corner. This. Well, that's what we've seen. A lot of things could be around the corner. This is, the experts are saying, it could be around the corner at any moment. And it's going to be way worse than what we've seen so far, that this is not necessarily

the big one. I hope not. You hope not? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I hope we don't get one worse than this. Female green beret. What's that all about? Shoot yourself. Really? You want to see that one? That's even better than the headline that, so first female green beret accidentally just

discharges fire arm in her home. Yeah, two sounds. Two sources within the special forces community have informed connecting vets that the first female green beret accidentally discharged a firearm in her home. And the incident is now being investigated by the Colorado Springs. Oh, no injuries occurred. She was just, you know, being extra empowered, fiddling around with maybe guns. Uh-oh. Anything. It's, you know, it's green beret, come on. Green beret, I wonder probably running a secret ops.

Well, I wonder what they, Shlops. Yeah. I wonder if that's a tack to her at her home. I wonder, man would never get made fun of if he accidentally shot a bunch of guns off. Yeah. The green beret, guys would be clapping. I wonder how they changed the requirement.

You know, to let women in. I mean how they changed the requirement. To let women in. I mean, yeah, I really want to know. They removed them. That's what happened. I really want to know, because they've pushed that in other Navy seals and stuff like that. Yeah.

To my knowledge, none of them should be there. Has passed the full on training that the men do. Like the, you know, whatever they, they took a woman who could do it and said, okay, that's the requirements for women. And they made her go through it. Could be, they did the same thing.

Like a dog. This was years ago, I think in the 90s with the Tomcat pilots, you know, who they, they shoved through, failing kind of major fucking things. Yeah. And then, you know, one of them, one of them died. Didn't she crash it yet? Yeah, she crashed the Tomcat. Yeah. And then one of them died. Didn't she crash a jet? Yeah, she crashed a Tomcat. Yeah, it was, yeah.

Well, you know, coming in for a million bucks. If women feel good about it. I think those planes are like $30 million or something. Yeah. No big deal. They had a good time though. Well, she probably had a good time doing it. It's dating selfies.

Yeah, it's dangerous when it comes down to stuff like that, being diverse for diversity's sake. Not everybody can do everything. Yeah. Where would you be comfortable with diversity? Somewhere that somebody might, you know, might not discharge a firearm and an apartment, you know, or like a garbage. I I would say garbage man, but they're gonna fuck up. They're gonna mess up your car then. Chicks are gonna get out there with the claw, I'm fucking around, you know, flinging garbage cans over houses and stuff. Picking up, it's just what like,

something you're gonna do and stuff and throwing it away. Oh, I didn't know. I thought you put your trash in boxes today, Tee. Where would diversity work? I don't know. I'd have to really think about it. I have to really think about what areas don't affect my life at all. Well, and those would be okay to cram. Let's see, here's one.

Biden wants to give you AIDS. Oh, sweet. This is a, this is the science. I'm really, I'm very into science, I like science. Yeah, I know you do too, Sean. Here's the biting Harris platform. Decriminalize HIV exposure and transmission loss. So it's illegal to go outside, because you might have a virus that has a 99.98 survival rate, right?

But if you have HIV, which is, I think a little more deadly, they want to make that decriminalized. In 2018, 26 states in America had HIV exposure criminal laws. These laws perpetuate these laws perpetuate discrimination and stigma towards people with AIDS. Well, you got to tell me what the laws say and what the, I can't get anything from this. It says if you don't disclose it to someone, that's a crime.

If you don't tell someone you have AIDS. Is that what they say? Yeah, mostly. Well, I mean, if you, you know, if you're fucking someone and you know that you have AIDS, and you don't tell them, you're a horrible human being. It should be illegal.

I mean, you're potentially giving someone a fucking death sentence. Yeah, or at least a big hospital bill. For all the cash, they have to mold you up. I'm sticking to my, there's simply, oh, here all the cash, they have to mulch up. I'm sticking the bug. There's simple, oh, here's the best part, okay. These laws perpetuate discrimination and stigma towards people with HIV AIDS.

It's the laws that are doing that. Before the laws, you would meet a guy with AIDS and you would just immediately kiss him on the mouth, stick your fingers. Stick your fingers in his mouth, see if there's any blood, and then you just go on and give him a full friendship. These laws perpetuate discrimination and stigma towards people with HIV AIDS.

And there is simply no scientific basis for them. In quotes. Scientific basis. That's where we're going with laws. That's where we're using science for now to prove that there's no basis for laws against the criminalization of knowingly giving someone AIDS. There's no, there's science doesn't, you gotta listen to the science about these, there's AIDS epidemic.

It doesn't support stigma. Science doesn't support stigma against AIDS. Right. Science says HIV and AIDS are bad. Now, you take it from there, you can, it's okay to leave the science out at that point. If you knowingly, if that's indeed what that's saying, the, and you know that your HIV positive. They're throwing it in with anything now. This is tag it with science. Then you're gonna repeal it. Science says that it's just, we gotta get,

we gotta get rid of this stuff. The science, you guys like science, right? Yeah. Well, science says that we gotta decriminalize all this AIDS stuff. Don't bother to look it up, you're too stupid to understand. The science says that as well. We gotta repeal all this aid stuff. Don't bother to look it up. You're too stupid to understand. The science says that as well. We got to repeal all this HIV discrimination. Shoot them with COVID vaccines. See here. Right in the dick. Oh yeah, here's that Israel one. Leading the vaccine. leading the vaccine, right?

The World Economic Forum, well, your favorite. Yeah, do they're really becoming the supervillains of 2020? This 3D printed stake, Oh, God. People cut down, could help people cut down on their meat consumption. Have you ever thought to yourself, boy, I could really use help cutting down on my meat

consumption? Has that thought ever occurred to most people who that they want help cutting down on their meat consumption? Or does it sound like another way of saying, will force people to cut down on their fucking meat consumption? If I'm down to the choice, it's going to be a choice between printing a 3D stake and bashing myself to death with the 3D printer. I'm going to choose the latter 10 times out of 10. What about bug meet? Would you eat that? That's another one I grabbed in here. You got grass

fed, you got grass fed me and what, grain fed, grain finished meat. Get ready for a bug fed meat. Yeah, get ready for a bug fed meat. Chicago based. Oh, that's their feeding the process of the company. Yeah, arts, you're Daniels, blah, blah, French firm that makes insect protein for animal feed. Plans to begin building that will have

the world's largest insect protein facility in 2021. And the city of Deca tour, in central Illinois. So it's ready for Dek, that's Decatur. Dekatur. What would you, what would you rather have 3D printed meat to help you stop eating meat or bug meat to help you stop eating meat? Bug, well, you rather eat bug meat. No, they're feeding the bugs to the real meat that I'm got it while I would have, I would rather have that. You'd rather have that. I would.

I don't know if I could stop thinking about it while eating the meat that it was bug meat. Hmm. Hey, they digested it. They got their protein from it. Yeah, but grass meat tastes like, no, no, very different. I'm disgusting.

Yeah, I frankly, I don't like grass-fed beef. No, yeah, it doesn't finish it off with, yeah, it doesn't, um, some grain. Yeah, I, um, I've always been less than impressed with grass-fed beef. I think you're going to be able to taste the bugs. You probably, it'll probably taste a little different and you're going to know that that's bug meat in your mouth. Yeah. Um, well, I guess I'll have to try it.

Well, you won't have a choice. Lucky for you. I'm sure they'll make it illegal. All right, what else do I have here? Do we have any collars? Um, let me see. Nord. Nord said he wanted to call in about his list

for the perfect, did I tell anybody to call in today? Kurt, I can wall this gonna kill you. Oh, the IRS plans to audit 50% increase in their small business audits next year. That's nice. That's something to look forward to. Yeah, that's something they shut down. So if you have really make up for it, I'm sure they have all kinds of time to get their fucking ducks and arouse the IRS can come pick pennies out of the 20s. He's over though. Right, right. No, it's magically better. It's over and done with. Now we can get things back on track with our masks and our insect and our insect beef. Oh, here's, I thought this one was funny. Let me see here. This is a series of headlines from the Guardian for every winter leading into this one.

It says hospitals full to bursting as bed shortage hits danger. Every year, hospitals scrambled, that was 2012, 2013, hospitals scrambled to prevent crisis and NHS is toughest ever with 2014. More patients over stretched doctors is the NHS facing a winter cry 2015 hospital bed occupancy rates hit record high risking get 2016 hospitals in England told to put operations and hold to free up bed 2017 NHS bosses sound alarm over hospitals running at 99%

Capac 2018 NHS intensive care 2017 I get at 99% Capac 2018 NHS intensive care. 2017 I get. Oh, that was the one. Well, that was the 80 for us. That was the 80,000, you know, flu deaths. Yeah. NHS intensive care unit sending patients elsewhere due to lack of beds, 2019, hospital beds, and record low as an England as NHS struggles with the, give me a fucking break.

Is that a legit, is that real? Yeah, what do you mean to do? Look up all of them? Well, I mean, no, I don't know. I mean, if you don't think they do that every year, I don't know. I mean, possibly, I see all, but when I'm checking facts and stuff,

I see a lot of fucking Photoshop shit that gets debunked. Which one do you want me to look up? Oh, I don't know. I mean, it's probably, it's probably for real. Hospitals scramble to prevent crisis in NHS's toughest ever winter. That's supposed to be 2013. Yeah. There it is.

Regarding 24. There you go. Wow. Well, I guess, you know, if it's not broken, don't fix it. More of the same. If it's working, if it's working, don't fix it. I look forward to 2021, the toughest winter ever in hospitals.

Here was, oh, this was pretty good. This is a, this is from Australia. 2003, retailers who cash in on the community fears about SARS, by exaggerating the health benefits of surgical masks could face fines of up to $10,000, $10,000. These are, let's see here. Because people get them dirty. Professor, people cut dice. People cut dice all the time.

Said that it could take as little as 15 or 20 minutes after which the masks would need to be changed. But those warnings haven't stopped people from snapping up the masks with retailers, reporting that they're having trouble keeping up with demand. As soon as they become saturated with moisture and your breath, they stop doing their job and pass on the droplets. So I don't know if people breathe drier now, 17 years later because of global warming or maybe, maybe the masks have changed so that maybe they have a wicking material now that takes all the moisture or the mask.

Why doesn't under armor make masks? This guy seems pretty sure that, well, once they get soaked in your spit, they're no longer effective. So like if you're sitting on a plane packed with people and you have to wear the mask for five hours, you're just kind of breathing your own spit out into everybody. Well, do you know what I've been reading that people always talk about, oh, I was get sick on airlines and stuff. They say the air is turned over really often on airplanes.

Oh, really? It's more dangerous with all this stuff in an airport. Yeah, touching. Like I always thought, just like the research you live there. Just like the research you live there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that it was like, oh my God. Oh my God, everybody's, yeah. So it's everybody touching everything.

And people just can't fucking stop putting shit in their mouths, man. I know, I know. I'm bad with it. I'm fucking chewing on fingernail and, you know, I stopped doing it like five years ago. Didn't get sick anymore. I used to get sick all the time. I believe it.

And then I just stopped putting shit in my mouth. Yeah. Uh, I just went, I just started sucking dicks instead. It's like I obviously have this kind of subconscious need to put things in my mouth. Well, most people, if I just suck dicks, I'll stop chewing on pens and sure enough. Right. Most people are not, you know, whipping their dicks out and touching everything and then other dicks touch that. And then when you suck them, you get sick.

Exactly. That's the safest thing. It's, yeah, I'm sure it's safer. So this was a, this was, if you exaggerate the safety of masks, you got to find a hundred, a hundred thousand dollars. Yeah. Well, the science then has shown, not necessarily. Oh, no, I know not necessarily.

They're not all created equal and you're depending on what you're wearing. There's different protocols and people do like we talked about. They have the false sense of security. Well, old people especially. Yeah, I guess like if you say, if you said no more masks, yeah. You'd have me going out With devil horns breathing on everything on purpose and old people be like I don't want to get anywhere near that guy I'm staying home, but now because there's mass because boomers are just the dumbest They're so dumb now they go well Matt, you know the TV boomers will believe anything that the TV tells them

They believe anything the internet tells them to yeah Yeah, because they think that's a TV. Well, I think that's just a little TV. They think, well, everybody's wearing masks, yeah. Now it's safe to go out and act like total assholes. I thought that was interesting. I don't know why they haven't removed that article because it's clearly spreading false information. They're not gonna remove that article.

Spoons. spreading false information. They're not gonna, they're not gonna read that article. Uh, spoons. Hey guys, I usually listen to this show at work, but when I heard that Kiwi call start, I shut it off. Oh, I knew it was gonna be something I needed to wait until I got home. Oh, oh, oh, it's a poor beer. Do some breathing and then sit down. Exactly. To give my full attention to.

Nice. There you go. Some Christmas gifts. Some To give my full attention to. Nice. Here you go. Some Christmas gifts. Some Christmas gifts you just have to savor. Yeah, I would say that was a pretty good one. Yeah. Somebody asked me if he was in on it. And I don't know.

Honestly, or if I was using a voice changer, I wasn't. That was just me doing a acting, changing my voice. It's not just the voice, it's also the attitude. It is. You know, well, that's to get into the mindset. That's true. That's part of it. You have a very similar voice and play two different characters.

You make them different characters. You can. I absolutely can. Brian, hey, Dick, don't read my name, but I am. Do they slap your penis? I don't read my name, but I'm getting a COVID vaccine on the 30th, because I work at a doctor's office. The vaccine is retested because I need to get two shots one month apart. So basically, you aren't vaccinated for a month, and then you have to sign a bunch of liability should.

No, no, that sounds cool. It depends, too. There's some of them have tested both two doses and one dose. There's different studies from this particular manufacturer. I can't remember which one it is. I've got a bunch. I know a bunch of shit about the different vaccines and stuff like that. Yeah. This is from Daniel. Hey, Dick.

Hey, Sean. I was listening to episode 10, 10 just now. Really? Bugger me if you didn't say the absolute truest thing in the world, some guy had written in about advice for dating a Muslim chick. Oh. You and the guest, both Lenora Claire, both answered that he should just stand his ground intellectually, and after he's run enough pipe through her.

I think I remember that. So just eventually adopt his position, yeah, I remember that one. The girl I've been dating for a pretty long time now, Japanese great cans for a small woman. Note that's small as in neither tall nor fat, not diggy, whatever's anime small. I don't know what that means. When we started dating a bunch of jealous ephslers tried to convince her that I'm this outrageous racist who hates poor people that works in your favor. Her position at the time was basically exactly what you'd expect a typical woman to think. Socialized medicine, public education, anti-carbon regulations, gun control, and all other retarded shit. Women's politics

are such a fucking joke. Like, do they, are they ever embarrassed telling you their pilot women telling you the bruh. Oh, what's your position on gun control? Well, actually, I really hate guns. No shit. Oh, I couldn't, couldn't fucking imagine that. Really? Oh, really? Let me guess. You want to, uh, you really want everyone to be educated, right? Uh, wow me with your, wow me with your fucking politics. You're going to have to tell me when these wars occurred. That's right. That's that's your barrier of entry. Give me one one fact, one historical fact, and then tell me one thing, one political opinion you have, because I know your ladder are all shit, because you the first are non-existent. And then wake me up when you figured out that sentence that I just told you, you ignorant bitch.

Sorry, I zoned out. So she was partially receptive to these misrepresentations because I've always been clear on them being a 100% free market guy. All right. I don't know if I did this because I subconsciously remembered your advice or whatever. I just happen to have that amount of good sense, but I may give you credit anyway. Yeah, I may have so. I'm never bringing up what I think about politics and climate change and just staying focused on the real method of persuasion,

sticking one up her on the regular. Oh. For a pretty long time, she'd occasionally start a fight and bring up how some of the aforementioned Eftler said, I must hate the poor because I'm against the welfare system or some other shit along those lines. I just can't imagine arguing with a woman about politics.

Well, that's something I really can't. I think that's something that you learn maybe not to do. It just as you go through life, I don't care if you, yeah, like there's, you don't have the ability to agree or disagree with what like you'd say. Oh, dogs should be able to vote. Okay. I just say what I think and why until I don't need you to agree because I respect her into duality, saying it made me cringe inside, but you say what the woman needs to hear

and try to bring the conversation back around to something fun. Um, well, a bunch of libertarians stuff. By the way, I told you you're lying about seeing a family of people all looking in the distance and she laughed herself stupid on it. If you read this whole thing on the air, thanks for not mentioning my name. Go fuck yourself, Mary Lee, this Christmas.

And then he has this name here. I don't know, I really do that. Thanks, Carlito. What's the line, family's, line's staring in the distance? Did you say something? Said I'm in him laugh. Oh, because I said that's what, I think I said line's staring in the distance. Did you say something? Said I'm in him laugh. Oh, because I said that's what,

I think I said that's what Japanese people are doing. They're all staring and I saw a family of people staring off out into the distance. Got it. Yeah. It's pretty funny. Pretty funny. Pretty funny. Let's see, Nord, this guy, he sent me a list

of his deal breakers for women. I know I wanted to call him in. These are always good. Nord, are you in here? Do you wanna talk? Yeah, you're here. Okay. Come on in, Nord.

All right, Nord, you have your, you sent me your list of deal breakers for a woman. I hear him. Yeah, can you guys hear me now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Is this what you wanna go lead into your 2021 with? How to find a girl? And this is your your to pretty big list. I got to say it's. What do you think, Sean?

That's a pretty big list. What does it continue? Oh, yeah. No, there's there's there's there's more. I need. Yeah. I have I said, actually, I'm going to go full. Everyone's been calling me an artist for this. I don't know why they would do that. Can you do, I met some of it with a list like that. Can you DM it to me right now so I can read it? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, hold on. I'm in a separate building.

It's kinda cold in here once I. You're in a separate building from your computer? On, no, I'm in a separate building from my house. That's a little vague. Yeah, like a present? Like a cool one. I'm gonna shoot you, I'm in a separate building for my house. That's a little vague. Yeah, like a prison? Like a good one. Oh, you're in a studio. The house.

A bunker? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's my Nordic phone. A cuck shed. A cuck shed. That's uncalled for. Okay, here you go. Here's where all my cuck.

I'm sorry. Wait, this is, okay, so this is in addition to the one you sent me. Okay, so why did you write this about what your perfect home is? Okay, so let me do some quick background myself to help you guys understand. I am born Christian, raised Christian, I am more Christian than like everybody else. I'm Christian as fuck. Do you listen to Christian rock music? Sometimes.

Sometimes you listen to what? Don't be embarrassed about it. What Christian groups do you listen to? Be embarrassed. For Christian music, I really like Gillette for rock. And then I am there for just general more Christian East. I am they. I am they.

That's really abandoned. That's their name. I am they they get out there and go I am the okay. All right. So these are your what how old are you? I'm 19. All right. Yep. Yep.

Just gathering just got them background information. Where do you live? Um, Minnesota. Oh, Minnesota. I'll probably buy my accident. I can't actually, you're not, not real. It's okay. A lot of times it comes out when I say car.

Uh, these are your, these are your deal breakers, Non-vergine. So if she's fucked before, you don't want to, you want anything to do with her? Oh, you're a virgin? Yeah, voluntarily. So you don't want her to have power over you. I could have gotten Gucci before. Yeah, no, no embarrassment. I know embarrassment. I rock. See how could you how do you know you could have gotten kuchi before Well the one girlfriend that I did have ended up cheating on me was just some random guy because she just wanted to be a hoe I'd be nice I have giant wills now is everybody, you know, everyone's like, okay, be nice, you know, not everybody's perfect.

And then I chose someone to hang out with them. They want, where was your Messiah then? What? Where did you meet this girl, the one who cheated on you? It was a show on Bumble or something. Stay away from all dating apps, boys, they're trash. Okay. How come you didn't meet her at church or anything?

Like, why would you meet a girl on bumble? I tried that. I was just, I was homeschooled and so I was awkward with chicks and then by the time I was really ready to date chicks, I think I just made it an impression that was nice but too strange for all the kids. She's so bad. She's terrible. Okay.

How'd you find out she cheated on the girls at church or a horse? How was she just told me? I was literally like about to break up with her via because it was, she was just having a meltdown about lying to dress like a hoe and it was like, okay, this is not. I've been having some doubts anyway. is having a meltdown about why to dress like a hoe and it was like, okay, this is not. I've been having some doubts anyway. And it's like, all right, this is not gonna work. And that chooses, I think,

so Madam, do you know what I'm like? All right, perfect, there's my out. So you were upset that she was dressing provocatively. To say, yeah, to say the least. Non-vergian. Okay. Bad theology. So like no Mormons are Catholics.

Mormons, you know Mormons literally believe black people are cursed with black skin because when we were all quote and quote, like in the before Michael Jackson, he's like that. Yeah. Yeah. A lack of, I don't know what to do with that. A lack of Catholicism. It literally turns into blood and that's just dumb. Yeah. Trans. A lack of. That. And also, have a gene. Well,

mine literally turns into blood. And that's just dumb. Yeah. Transubstantia. Yeah. That, that is dumb. Lazy. I literally spent a lot of my life from like 12 to 14, just watching YouTube videos and getting in-depth on all the various aspects of Christianity

to figure out what, where I fit. Where do you fit? I'm basically Baptist, on all the various aspects of Christianity to figure out what where I fit. Where do you fit? I'm basically Baptist, but I don't see why God would have any problems with drugs or alcohols as long as you're not abusing it. What's abusing it? To the point where I,

it would depend on the person, you know? Oh, perfect. Negative, very negatively affects you know, perfect. Negative negatively affects your life. Yeah, it's amazing. Lazy. By the way, I'm your handsome-ass man on the planet. I just had to say that.

Who, me? Yes. No, you see what's going on in the girl situation. You're not doing it. You need an ahi exam. I can't literally just have work. I can't cook in his unwilling to learn. Doesn't want kids are only once a couple. Does he want a lot of kids?

Doesn't want to, yeah, my parents had nine kids, counting me. You want a litter? Yeah, doesn't want to live in the middle of nowhere. She eats, believes in spiritual crap, boring. You don't want a woman who's boring. Yes. Oh, yeah, right.

You don't want a woman who's boring. Hey, but you wanted to cook and clean all day and raise your litter of kids and- No astrology. Believe in, yeah, not believe in anything except your version of God. Uh-huh. Well, she's gotta be excited too.

Well, now it's just, I'm saying she just like, obviously I know one wants to be with anyone that they can't have a conversation with. I do. The little conversation is better. That would be fantastic. Below average intelligence, that's a deal breaker for you. Do you mean you're gonna. Below average intelligence, that's a deal breaker for you. Do you mean you're like a tick and I keep that?

I'm a generally smart person. It's ever the God thing or what? What? Nothing, go ahead. It's a, no, I don't like, I don't like the idea of, okay, so since I'm Christian, I only get to have sex with and marry one woman and likely spend the rest of my life with her. That's how to tie.

I know. That's what you hope for. Right. That's what I hope. Yeah. And seeing, you know, and all probability, that's what I'm expecting to happen, unless someone dies early. But that's been known to happen. Right. It does happen. You know, maybe very soon. For very short minutes, you'll get the last coup. I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, keep going.

The idea of a 19 year old having this such an elaborate plan over their love life in the middle of Minnesota. It's ambitious. It's very ambitious. I'm not in the middle of Minnesota. That'd be by the cities. I can't stand the cities. Okay. In the middle of nowhere, to your eyes are better than by curious or anything remotely gay.

That's a deal breaker for you. It is this. We're not telling Shani's attractive. That's notely gay. That's a deal breaker for you. We're not telling Shani's attractive. That's not remotely gay. Yeah, that's... I mean, it's for the meme, so it's not gay. Okay. Lies doesn't like to go outside, fake nails, swearing, alcohol, drugs, fake nails. What fake nails?

I can't say they're on hygienic and they're annoying. And for me, I mean, you can argue this is a slightly spurgy thing for me. It's just, to me, it just reminds me of everything that's wrong with society at this point. So I just associated it with that. Yeah, because it's impractical, it's dysfunctional, and it's just women wear them because they think it's look good because it's what society tells them, and because it, you know, corporations want to make money off of it. Big nail.

Is out there training women on wearing fake nails? No, not even saying that. No, not even saying that. From Lee Press on nails is... It just stops going visually. It just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just but she's just checking the boxes. She's, you know, right down the list. And you start spending time together and things are fucking great. You're like, God, I can have a conversation with this woman. I'm attracted to her.

We were both raised back. She said those backwards. She was home attracted to her. We can have a conversation. She, these in and in your heart. We, home schooled as well, like really relates to you, all that kind of stuff. And you find out later just because you're a busy guy

that maybe she doesn't check kind of a small one on this list, but like say she just doesn't check. She's Lutheran, not a Baptist. Duh, I don't know. She hasn't checked one of those boxes. You're like, oh my God, you think that? Because guess what? Because that fucking happens.

You don't know everything about the person when you get involved and when you get seriously involved. You know a lot, but you don't know, you might not know everything. Yeah. So these aren't all 100% deal breakers, but those are things that matter. I would need to know that those, I need to know the status of those before I. I need to know. Let's talk to you.

Some check. It's like you can't stand to go high. Can't you wear fake nails that she hates kids? I'm not going to bother even talking to. Uh-huh. Well, you can see the kids is like, you want kids? She doesn't. Okay.

Next, that's obvious. Must not be a career woman. must not have stupid hair colors, must have the right vibe. I don't know what this means. I don't know what that means. Vibed the right vibe, Virgin Car. That's obviously just have to get along with someone. Okay, style, good looks, and a freelance writing gig

that's getting better. She has to be a freelance writer. I don't know. That was what Rat posted. That's just a couple of details. Okay, I don't know. Must be Christian either talking to her at a religious, even like church,

or I know beforehand somehow. Wow, well good luck. I think I wrote that like one hand. Yeah, so basically, before I don't even think about, I don't think about even approaching chicks because statistically, they're not Christian. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So unless it's at a church event or some religious thing, I'm not even gonna bother really talking to them. Oh, wait, they're telling me to ask you about your pregnancy porn fetish. What? The people in chat are asking, are telling me to ask you about your pregnancy porn fetish. Is that true? About your pregnancy fetish?

Nothing, I'm aware of. Not that I'm aware of. Are you guys relying to me in chat? Are you sure? They wouldn't do that. You don't have any kind of pregnancy fetish. No. No. They. I mean, they're saying you're lying. No, it's no. No, you don't have any kind of pregnancy fetish. What? No, it's a neutral thing. Like if she's pregnant with my kid, I guess

it would be whatever. It would be whatever. They're saying this is all lies that you're telling me right now. I don't know. I'm not, no, that's not something I have an issue with. What do you mean an issue? Do you have a pregnancy porn fetish?

No. And there's like a big old pregnant belly. You're not into that in a woman. Not really, no. No. Have you ever jerked off to pregnancy porn? No. Okay. I don't know, guys. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. He says no. Here's a chat. The opposite of you saying, no, you're showing your family this. So you're not going to talk about your pregnancy fetish. Is that, did you say that? No.

Well, it's a, it's a screenshot right here. I mean, like I want to show a family this. So. Okay. Sorry. So you want to tread while you have a pregnancy porn fetish. I don't have no porn is for degenerates. So you don't look at any porn at all? No.

Not pregnancy porn either. No. Man, how have you not shot up a workplace? Did Scar fake this screenshot saying that you had a pregnancy fetish and that you're not. He's got a smart scar. Come on, come and trust him. He's the one that got it tattoo. Oh, yeah.

I'm reading this chat right now. I suppose you are too. That explains the distraction. Didn't he write in last week about a pregnancy fetish? No, that was funny though. That was funny. All right, well, I don't know. They're saying you're lying. I'm not.

It's kinda sounds like you're lying a little bit. When I was a little kid, I saw the episode where Timmy went back in time and his mom got pregnant. It made me feel weird and I didn't know why. Did you say that? See what? This is what I just said about Timmy from the family. Yeah, from family odd, from the fairly odd parents. Nope.

You didn't say that. And you've never watched porn? No. You didn't say that. Oh, I know, I know. And you've never watched porn? No. What do you mean no? No, I'm not a, no, I'm Christian. So you've never fired it up just out of curiosity, like when you're 13? No. I mean, I already see too much just by being on the internet.

Yeah. Hmm. They say you wrote to me about a pregnancy fetish. Nope. Okay. Well, good luck on your search for a wife, I guess. That's a, you can knock her up nine times, you get a lot of mileage out of that.

One, I guess. Oh, here you are posting photos of pregnant women saying jerk off to this, and then it's a picture of a pregnant woman. Did you send that to somebody? Oh, yeah, someone was talking about what the heck was it? I can't remember. Someone was talking about like, why pregnancy is discussed. I think it was one of the gay boys talking about it.

That was in the territory way. But did you? Is one of the gay people are like, yeah, super gross. And I was like, it's neutral. Oh, you're neutral. That was doing it. Okay, all right. I don't know what they're talking about. Anyway, good luck with your, good luck with the wife hunt. I don't know what's going on here, but these guys are,

what, they're going crazy. Yeah, they're going crazy. Okay, all right, so yeah, is there anything else like about the list? Because that was why I called in. Well, no, there's not. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, how is he still denying this? They're saying it. All right. All right. All right. Nord, get out, get out of here. That's a hell of a list. Good job. Sean. Yes, Sean. Yeah. Oh, I just, Iches. Get out of here. Oh, way. He's obviously lying about the pregnancy fetish, right? Unless they fucking shot those screenshots real damn quick. I mean, I'm believing him. He's doing a great job saying I don't know. Hey, Pete, he loved the show.

I wanted to say how awesome Lucky was is the co-host. So, Dick, there's this girl that goes to my church. I really like her. Easy cans are DD double d's. Problem is that we were both Mormon. I was going to jump ship before we met, but now I'm not so sure. If I wanted to get anywhere with her, I would need to make some sort of commitment. I'm also a huge coward. Oh God. How do I convince her that I committed

without actually being committed and not a giant pussy attached as a photo of the church? I can't tell. Is there a difference? If he's gonna jump ship, he needs to get her in the fucking lifeboat. I mean, does it matter? Oh, the fuck away.

Can you ease out of it? Like, no, yeah, I'm just going. Whatever. Dominate your fucking life. But doesn't anything, like then you get out of church. What do you in like church light? I don't know. Well, I'm, yeah, whatever you do,

whatever you believe or don't believe in, you have to go spend time with people you don't wanna spend time with to put on a big fucking show for your significant other no matter what. It doesn't matter. Oh, I don't believe it. I'm not a Mormon anymore.

All right, well, turns out we still have to go, have game night. Go, okay, well, what's the difference in this that we're doing? No, you drink at game night. Can you not drink it? church No drinking in church All right, that was that was an odd that was an odd turn on that call. I don't think I liked it

Let's go Let me read some reddit and rages and then do voicemails and then do voice mails. Do-do-do. Weekly wage from the Reddit. Group text messages are the most annoying thing in the fucking planet. So it shows you a path, who knows damn well, they could just as easily send out individual messages,

decides they wanna watch the world burn by sending out a blanket greeting, or the vague request for a group get together. It rapidly devolves into everyone trading stupid one-liners. God, the stupid one-liners. God, the stupid one-liners. God, this is such a- This is such a- This is such a-

This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a- This is such a I try to, you know, we're a family that doesn't talk to each other. Yeah.

And I think we all prefer it that way. Oh, you're a family. Yeah, I mean, you know, we do. We, you know, we check in every now and again, I'll talk to certain members more than others. But yeah, when those think, when I see that, when it's one of those things that somebody deems Necessary that we are we're all on yeah, I just cuz I know cuz I know who's gonna keep it going too Yeah, I don't think I have anyone's where people keep it going even my family text It's like a picture and then two people will say something and then no one will say it anything again

I have another one with all burning man people are which is some of you, people, one person going crazy because they're drinking and then no one responding. Well, that's the only way to do it. Watch them get drunker and drunker. You just can't add to it, but somebody always does. Somebody always takes the bait. Spinston having absolutely nothing to look forward to, now that the holidays are over. God, that's true

the only thing the only thing to look forward to now is the is trump contesting the election and they're being civil war that's it no is either either he doesn't win and there's a war or he does win and there's a civil war that's it i don't care i don't care which way it happens either don't you burning all your Trump stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Because he's just gonna keep signing

Obni bus shit until until the economy melts until the money printers melt. So what's the point? Starter war. I don't care. Mm-hmm. Makes me money. Just gonna put money into vent socks. Start fucking million wars. I don't care. Everybody in the army loves to be there anyway. We're as good for business. Yeah. It's good for business. Why do I give a fuck? I don't know. We marched armies of darkness all over the face of the earth. Doesn't matter to me, go for it. Get rid of them, keep them.

I don't care as long as everybody freaks out. And none of no bricks get painted. That's the only thing to look over at. The bricks get painted. Put painters tape on the bricks. Those are nice, spray paint, whatever you want. They're pretty nice, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're going to refinish it, bring it back down to the wood. So it pops in the neighborhood, there's a lot of white shit, it's a little like 90s, early 2000s, and we do it. But if you do, if you get the brick, I'm going to have to sand blast the brick, it's going

to look weird, like a cartoon, where you know something's going to fall out in the next frame. And then I'm going to have to sand blast the whole front and it's going to look all fucked, it's going to look like it just got graffiti. So if you can have the Antifa people put it over, put some painter's tape over the brick, when they put the circle around the A, just, you know, it's gonna have to be a straight line

on that side, because you didn't, yeah, don't. Don't let it bleed onto the brick. Just, you know, we get it, it's still a circle, it just has a flat side. No one will notice. Yeah. And if they do, no one will care. Right.

Having absolutely nothing to look forward to. Yeah, literally five more months of waking up cold before the sun comes up and getting home from work. After it's dark. Yeah, I hate that. No bars, no restaurants, not a single yes to a reno movie, no concerts or entertainment of any kind.

It's not directly wired to my home. Yeah, welcome to hell. There's all the grandma. I'm glad the holidays are over because then I don't have an excuse to fucking eat myself retardedly fat. Yeah, me too. God, dude, by eating is out of control. Yeah, you do look pretty fat. Yeah. I feel fat. Work. Work home, TV, sleep, work home, TV, sleep. That's repeat ad not as you,

I'm until it's warm enough to go outside or I just end up buying a ticket to Greenland. God, people got, people got, oh, fuck, and this lockdown, a year of life gone. All those hookups, you were setting up an entire season of getting together with women destroyed. Women are shut up forever now an entire generation of women's shutter.

Put on more clothes, just put on more clothes and go outside, okay. It's been a difficult year for all of us, but we're just glad it's over in every single radio broadcast, podcast, YouTube video, you name it. No, it wasn't. You were sitting pretty in your studio,

I was lecturing people on how to live their lives. At least wonderful venture capital companies like Uber and GrubHub made mad bank exploiting underpaid cyclists. Yeah, that's true. My car has a safety feature, Corona Spoo, the radio is unresponsive when the car is in reverse. So you can't listen to your radio when your car is going backwards. Can't adjust it.

The problem is unresponsive. Oh, that's in like- So it's just stuck on- Well, like you need to be turned around. You don't need to be going backwards and looking forward at the radio as I think what it's trying to to prevent. I see. The problem is the radio doesn't start until five seconds after the car starts.

So I'm almost always in reverse by the time I get deafened by whatever garbage I was listening to at freeway volumes yesterday when I parked. Yeah, but the fault. Right. You just got to get car on. You got to get in the habit of literally, you got to make it a muscle memory thing. You got to turn that shit down before you shut the motor off.

If you're conscious of it, it will be automatic. Yeah. I've done that shit. Yeah, it'll be automatic and you won't have years taken off your life when you start your car the next morning. I do that when I get a phone call. I hold it my finger.

Like that, muscle memory, no matter what, if anyone's around or anything, or not. Oh, just to tell them to shut up for me. So if I do get a call and someone's around, I go, shh, like that and they go, oh, I must be, I must be way out of line. Right. I must be behaving, I must be run, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You have to condition them.

Yeah. To always, I don't want to, always walk on and get shot at it, you know? Yeah. I don't want them to see hesitation in my eyes. I want to be like that. Yep. Um, this one boomer, Anavar, this one boomer I work with who will show me all the shitty boomer memes he sees while on Facebook trying to watch a blacksmithing video to learn a

new technique or playing my switch. And he has no qualms interrupting me to show me a minion meme about getting morning coffee. Yeah. Yeah. They're a little late to the party. The cooler, if I hear one more politician breaking their own lockdown rules, yeah, I'm going to go ape shit. Yeah. Did you see the cops breaking into that Christmas party in Canada? Holy fuck. No, Canada is Holy fuck. No Canada is extremely strict when it comes to that. Christmas, police.

Were they like, oh, sorry. No. Does anybody have this article? So I can show Sean. Yeah, I don't doubt. I know how strict they are. I've talked to actors who have gone up there and come back and the quarantining and the potential million dollar fine.

Stinking crazy. And cops just busting into your house, dragging people away. I don't know. I don't know. I didn't understand the back, the blue sentiment during the whole BLM protest. No, I know. No, like the cops are just a personal army for politicians. That's it.

Local politicians, especially, they're less, they enact the laws of the mayor and the governor and it's like, it's not, they don't enforce justice at all or protect you at all, at all, even the, even the smallest amount. They do not do. I don't understand the massive support for police. I never have, here it is. Here it comes. New Canadian police stormed an illegal gathering of six people.

Here they are, storming it. What was illegal about it? A neighbor, they had six people. Here they are storming it. What was illegal about it? A neighbor, they had six people. They had six people in their home. And a neighbor added them out. So here's the cops. You can't see, you can't have six people. The residents resisted. They're in their mask, which I assume they've been wearing for longer than 10 minutes, so totally useless. Perhaps they're arguing with the old lady outside dogs going crazy Swarm of police are inside I want to see the whole thing the whole story on this six people and a legal gathering of six people was reported by the neighbor I want to know what their law you know know what I mean, their laws are. I mean, obviously, how many people?

Yeah, stuff like that. I don't see. It's worse. No, yes. I mean, there's, what are you going to do now? Stay there. There's the cops are milling around inside. There is no law.

There is no law that cop, that police will not enforce on you. God damn. Nothing. They could say, they could say any law, it could, they could say, well, we got to have you go door to door and rape, rape every woman in America. That's the, that's illegal to not be raped. And the cops will go, well, you know, I mean, I swore to do it. They would chuckle and rib each other about it.

And then they go, they get, they hold banquets and give each other awards. Carter got the one with so much personality. You should have seen this fat chick I had to do my duty and rape today, because it's the law, but there is no law. There is no law that the police would not enforce. And if anyone, if any one of them tells you that there exists an imaginary law that is

so grotesque and violating, they would not enforce it. They are lying because we are way, way past that point. They routinely enforce laws that are evil in a moral and there will and there will never be an instance where a law could pass at the police would not enforce it. I don't understand the support for them ever. I have never, I have never understood it. I never will.

Um, but you know, there you go. That's what happened. Damn. See, do I get anything else here? Mary fucking Christmas. Jesus. If I hear one more politician breaking their own lockdown rules, I'm going to go, I see. Are you gonna see anything else here? Mary fucking Christmas. Jesus. If I hear one more politician breaking their own lockdown rules, I'm gonna go ape shit.

Yeah. I'm not allowed to drive across town to see my boyfriend. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this? Probably a guy though. But the finance minister gets to take his whole family to Barbados. I'm not saying it's time to start murdering politicians who break their own lockdowns. No, don't say that. But no. No, I'm not gonna it's time to start murdering politicians who break their unlocked down. No, don't say that, but no.

No, I'm not going to read that either. They all need, they all deserve, they've been working very hard, they've deserve to be shot with COVID vaccines. Right. Every single politician. Paying taxes when 90% of the government services are shut down in my area. Yeah. Videos and streams, feisty penguin that take up an annoying amount of disk space. I've been archiving my favorite YouTube content to prepare for the next

progressive people's media purge of 2020 X. The space needed per video is a total crap shoot based on what the creator uploaded and the shit adds up fast. Even at, yeah, it's, you know, it's difficult. Even at 50 p.p. potato quality, you show like TDS would take up 50 plus gigs of, no, 50 plus gigs of space. The original files are only 10 gigs. You're doing something. Alexander Chippell, not being able to tell my 19 year old co-worker that the chick he's kidding on,

hitting on has a kid. Oh, well, I mean, you can do it. Yeah, you can. You could do it, buddy. You could do it. All right, this is the show. I'm going to play part of the Grand Wazoo's album and then I have a shitload of voice mails. Welcome to 2021.

Go to hell. Go to good luck. See you next Tuesday. This is the Grand Wazoo's Christmas Callie Kazoo. Which one do you want to hear? He's got you pick. Okay. Boy, he's got a lot, doesn't he? Holy shit. Jesus. He's got 45 fucking 41 tracks. Which one do you recommend that we play, Grand Wazoo? Jingle bell cock. That sounds how Wasu? Jingle Bell Cock.

That sounds... How can you... That sounds simple enough. Alright, let's play that one. Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Cock. There's some weight. Stomach, Stomach,

Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, Stomach, And we eat earth, clinging, sucking, it's wallowing loads of coal. Now the boo cocky ass begun. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell penis. Cawkin balls, and nothing else. Dancing and brancing, the strippers are doing in the frosty air

The criss-cross is freeing 3.5 million times to drop the soap The grand-washing time with swell guys The saddest time to fill your ass hole Bleeds she's in the down. Jane Goldock, go like these nuts. Go go lie down, little bad dog! Do that against barking! A fucking sandy to the pound!

Stupid fucking animal! Well, great now, we're fucking lost, and I don't even know what's supposed to be singing. God damn it! You can get the uprood off! You sexy hunk! Bite to stand, McGr stand the graces around the clock Fight against oppression of the white man That's the jingle bell cock

What do you think it's gonna have to do? It's the wrong time It's the wrong time To fight It's gonna have to go like there's on the sixth Jingle Bell He's gonna be the cock He loves you long Yeah What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Oh yeah, stupidly blind, stupidly robot bow, and stupidly blind. Ah! What do you think? I think it's supposed to be Tom Waitz. You think that's supposed to be Tom Waitz?

I think so. Not Macho Man Randy Savage. No, I think he's doing Tom Waitz. Okay. You might be right. You know, you know your music. Let's do some voice math. You don't think anything's gonna happen?

No. Got a lot of guys saying this election has a lot of fraud. Yeah. I mean, I got guys, you know, Congress people, a lot of people say, yeah, Congress people doing it, objecting.

They do that. Yeah, they object. Yeah, they like to throw things out there. That's it. I go, okay, well, that's nice. See you. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean.

You know, it really makes me a rage. Is people saying, good, but I, 2020, we're done with the year 2020. Like a TV stupid-ass commercial that are like, we're done with year 2020 like a TV stupid ass commercial that are like no We're done with 2020 He's out 2020. It's as if the year has something to do with the misery and the shittiness of We look at the the declining human condition like like it's 2021 now so

It's not going to be 2020 more. It's going to be so much better now. It's not gonna be 2020 Where you used to it now? We've done with you like As this 2020 is the reason why people think that We're you know going down the shitter. So that's my rage. We were watching movies, watching a bunch of movies over Christmas.

Yeah. It's difficult to watch them because they don't have masks on. It's like, it takes me out of the movie. Oh, really? Yeah. Cause I think, this is just, I'm not, I've not experienced that. But like I'm watching a movie and nobody's wearing masks. What an old movie.

Yeah. And I think, I mean, this is never gonna happen, this is never gonna happen again. Oh, yeah, sure. Uh, or at least not, you know, not in our lifetimes. Maybe, maybe in someone's lifetime. You're gonna put masks on in movies now. Everybody's, how are you gonna have a movie?

Like this took place in 2020 and nobody's, like is that gonna be just a funny little joke? Like, oh look, it took place in 2020. Oh, where's your mask? You mean like if people do like, oh, this was 2020, the back then. Yeah, like if we go back to the put masks in there. Like if you do a time job,

what was going on at the time? Yeah, yeah. Like we're doing jazzers. I think yeah, like 2020, we're wearing this. So, no, they'll absolutely do that. It's just so jarring because you watch people interacting. I think, well, this is like I can't even imagine interacting like this. Because nobody's wearing a mask and nobody's screeching at

anybody else to wear a mask. No, boy, you got to, you got a memory problems. You don't remember the before times. I don't want to remember the before mask. No, boy, you got to, you got to memory problems. You don't remember the before times? I don't want to remember the before times. Oh. That doesn't happen to you? No. Okay. Let's see here.

Hey, Dick, I saw him. Hey, rabbit. My new year's resolution is double the bread, double the head. Happy new year, boys, go fuck yourself. Double the bread, double the bread. Oh, double the bread. double the head. Happy new year boys, go fuck yourself. Double the bread, double the bread. That's good, yeah. Double the head. Women like people who can bake.

Okay, double your bread making. Right. And double your head probably means read more and educate yourself. Yeah, so become a better baker. Right. And read more. That's what it more intelligent materials.

That's what he met by that resolution for the years. Well, double the bread, double the head, everybody. Kind of like that, your bread, double your head. Hey, that can all make me a rage. As guys that use drinking as their personality replacement, which is apparently every fucking person who listens to this show, if you get blackout drunk and don't remember

the entire fucking show, then you didn't go. You didn't have fun because you didn't fucking remember. No, you didn't. No, you had fun. Why the problem, Blake? Maybe. The way the television show was, I mean, some go and piss your pants.

How fun is that? And that fucking remember it. Because no one thinks you're fun when you're blacked out. You just go find the guy, blah, that everyone else takes care of. Yeah, he doesn't remember me. He doesn't know me. It's like, you're just fucking wasting your time. Get the fuck out of the way.

You're not gonna remember it anyway. You're not experiencing it if you're fucking blacked out. You're not fucking experiencing this. You're not going to remember it. And enjoy it anyway. Just stay the fuck out of my way. If you're gonna judge how much. get the fuck out of my way. I'm not taking care of you this time.

I'm just gonna leave you. Getting black out drunk. This guy sounds like a guy without an alcohol problem. Fucking child. That other people. Yeah, it's an alcohol problem. Jesus fucking Christ. Roll off.

Just leave him. That's how you do it. I don't know why I like that voicemail. Yeah. Just leave them, man. Yeah. Oh, you're being an asshole. Nope.

Have fun getting home. I like that voicemail. Cops will take care of it. Not my problem in that. Right, right. Uh, well, I'm sorry that someone did that to you at the show, sir. Hey, Dick, food scientist here. What's up?

I just wanted to call call the parts of something that john was saying the last episode when you guys are talking about uh... heart disease and john made the point well certain communities don't have access to food in the inner cities yeah i think that's a community that's kind of uh... a big talking point among food scientists these days especially the drum ones i don't know how I go to a food desert

I mean I doubt it, I doubt it It turns out that access to food is actually not as much of an indicator about whether or not someone will eat healthy as you would think That makes sense too Whole foods would set up a whole food to the ghetto or it's a whole food to the ghetto or

uh... more to do with education uh... you actually tell people why what they're doing is bad that as well show them that it's a basic cardboard uh... for it to be effective and i don't know who scientists we should talk to him uh... yeah if your life's uh... yeah that's that's not that's not good

see i would talk to people. Talk to people who just interest me. And I don't think I don't think I'm on the show at all. Talk to me. No, it's not. No, it's not coming. Nobody's gonna like that. As soon as something interests me, I forget about everybody else.

I want to talk to that guy. Is there any reason for people who live in the ghetto to eat? Well, eat healthy, like your life sucks. I don't know. Why don't you just eat and get bad as shit and, you know, have diabetes. I mean, yeah. I just have a hard time thinking you can convince. Well, let's put this, sometimes I'm like, fuck it.

Yeah, I'm gonna dust that entire large pizza. I'm eating it the next day too. No, I eat entire large pizza. I'm eating it the next day too. No, I eat a large piece, I can eat a large piece in one sitting, no problem. You can eat an entire large pizza in one sitting. No problem. Yep, from where? From anywhere.

I don't know. I mean, not fucking 16 inch, not big mamas. You could take a 14 incher in you. Please amateur hour. I don't know why. I have like a bottomless pit for pizza. God damn. Yeah, I don't think,

I don't think the problem with the inner city is that there's not enough sprouts. Yeah, there. I don't know if they're gonna, I don't know if the people who live there are gonna start flocking to whole foods. I totally, I totally get what he's saying. Makes sense to me.

It's a dicking too. Okay. Yeah. I don't think we should let EBT be taken at those places either though. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah. What is the fucking matter? There's no stopping it.

I can honestly say I hate this new year already. Oh, really? But I want to tell you that my new year's resolution has to do with drinking less soda. So does it bad for you. I drink it more than I drink water. Me too. I drink more liquor as well. Yeah, you should drink more liquor. I need to start fucking women that are not my age. I need to start fucking women that are in the age group of 20. It's not 40 to 50. Really? I love it though. Okay. That was scar. That was that kid that got a tattoo in Tampa.

Oh, he's fucking women that are 40 to 50. They're praying on him. They're praying on that young meat. Yeah. And pressuring him probably. How old is he? He's 20? He's 20?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Most's taking advantage of him. Yeah, most likely. Yeah. Okay. They're feminine wiles. Hey, Jack, I got a rating for you. Fucking zippers. Like fucking Jack, the fucking zipper breaks every fucking time.

They make me feel god damn angry because it's the middle of winter and this is like the eight fucking coach to do this. I don't know what the fuck it is. Maybe your zipper technique is a little harsh. Yeah. You need to calm down. Love you Sean. Love you too. Buddy. That is really fucking maddening. You're gonna take it easy. You do. If it doesn't start right, if you're, yeah, you do have to take it easy, but you really fucking shouldn't, man. They should be able to make a zipper. If you pay a decent amount of money for like a, you know, you live or it's called a fucking winter jacket.

And that thing fucks up the whole, the whole fucking jacket is ruined. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. I mean, that's for it to, what, for one thing to fail and the entire thing is, is ruined. Somebody's kind of right in and go like, oh, no, no, you can fix that by, I don't want to think about it though. That's another thing is ruined. Somebody's kind of right in and go like, oh no, no, you can fix that by, I don't know. I don't wanna think about it though. That's another thing.

You get a strip of Velcro and you put on one on one side and the other and then it, like a tent zipper. It's like, come on, can't you guys, why do you have, why do you have a tent zipper? Does it have to be this cheap, chinsy little tent zipper? Can you make it like a big one, like on jeans? When this thing, never one time,

like buckles, like that jeans. You ever see that word? Oh, and then it zips and unzips at the same time. Yeah. It's just moving along. You're like, oh, you fucking piece of shit. Nothing prepared me to solve this. No, it's just fucked.

It'll never work right again. And you're in there with your girlfriend, you gotta go to the bathroom. Yeah, just let me do this. Let me do this, I don't. Now I'm the fucking door man of my tent, right? Right. Right. Only can do this one. And then you have to climb over. Yeah. Okay. We've got Dick and Sean. Let's rack sexton. And they're pretty sad. I have something not too rage about, but some advice to give. Oh! You're not gonna listen to at least maybe

some of the other dick heads will. I too did not believe in FPDs. Right. My dick isn't oozing, I think nothing weird happening. I'm probably fine. Sorry, I'm raised. I'm talking bad. I'm just pull out right? That's what the pullout methods for no and then one day I

Wake up with like some fucking pink guy. What the hell is that? You got dick. I Didn't go away and I go to the doctor Which you know in it and of itself is a pain in the ass all the time. Sure. Oh yeah, you need to give me whatever medicine. Yeah, I know you're not aware. By this time my eyes are so fucking.

What did you get? What did you get? I have to have my TV like the brightness turned down to the very low setting. I can't drive. I'm taking the bus to the fucking doctor. I can't drive. I'm taking the bus to the fucking doctor. I can't touch the freaking, freaking syphilis out your eyes. The doctor's like looking at his breath. I can't have like flipped my eye lid and it's easy. Tweezers, the whole pull off my eye and she's like, I have never seen anything like

this before in 20 years of being a doctor. Yada, Yada. You got herpes in your eyes, man. You had a kind of in your eyes. You know, that shit figure. A close of a look, did you, the man, but you knew what was wrong? It's a gonorrhea special. He's a steroid medicine and whatnot and cleared up eventually. But with what the guy said, the guy doctor was like, oh, I think I know what's wrong with

this dude. Check him for STDs because what happened to these things can sit inside you for years and years and years and years, you don't even know. And then you case and it does some crazy shit. You're checking time by. And that's what happened to me. And even today, you know, I got all these cute stars on my eyelid, not the half of them, but I still get like, kill a B.I. Oh, what was it?

This is the rest of my life. What was it? I'm struggling. What was it? Goddamn it. Goddamn it. Goddamn it. I thought he's a gonorrhea specialist, but he couldn't, because in the later he said,

I think I know what's wrong with this guy. I miss heard something. Could have been, let's say it's gonorrhea. He's probably lying. He probably just likes looking at buttholes real close. Like, giving out, he goes on grinder. I'm the butthole guy. And he's like this with his fingers over his eyes like that. I want to look at your butthole. That's what he does. Yeah. He gets two buttholes in his eyes. That's perfect for him. Just like that.

Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Yeah. Partying his ass off. God, how, he did not say what he fucking had. That is, that is fucking That's perfect for him. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that.

Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that.

Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. Just like that. You know if you have scarring on the inside of your eyelids, because you can take it and turn it. I mean, you can, how? I mean, you can do it just to, you know, it's kind of a little bit of an investment, but.

I can't see any scars. Well, no, you do it with one eye and you should look at the other one. So you hold one eye open and fuck with your eyelid on the other one? No, just look at the fuck you can look in the mirror. I don't think you can do that. Oh God.

Do you want me to show you how to use that lighter again? Hey, not big. This is the, where is it? This is Nate. Hey, Nate. Do you want to know what makes me a rage? Is when women take things way more seriously than they need to be?

What? When does that have to? Sorry, I'm a little drunk right now. But remember his name. I asked his girl I had feelings for after out on a date. And she was like, oh no, she's from Puerto Rico. She got here recently. She's like, oh no, I'm not ready for a relationship.

So I'm gonna fuck that up. It's just like, all I want is a simple date. I don't, I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship.

I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship.

I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I'm not asking you for a relationship. I was saying her Hispanic woman, Dick, this white guy, I find if a girl can speak Spanish is kind of hot. She's saying, and when she yelled at you in Spanish, she gets angry in Spanish.

I think that's pretty hot. But so, they throw things in Spanish. So, not hot, really hot. You're really, like, it's like they're like, they're goddamn, entire lives depends on it. They can't just take a kick in evening out of their life, whether it's good or it's like they're like they're goddamn entire lives depends on it. They can't just take kick an evening out of their life whether it's good or it's bad. They they're an evening out of their life. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want to be a bull. Ask to sign a petition in front of the store. Right. Too much. Yeah. Watch it. You know, away. So it's frustrating. Yeah, they should just tell you where they live. I'm hurt honestly. I like

this girl. She's nice, but you know, I guess it's time to find another one. But what's not to it? I mean, it's hard to find a one or just, I live in Florida. I want to be a big deal. I don't know. That's such an investment. I had a great time. Obviously one of the best trips I've ever taken in my life was going to Tampa. Yes. It was good. Those plenty of Hispanic women. Yeah, yeah.

That would be. Those plenty of Hispanic women. Women just don't realize what a good time they would have if they went out with me and if their time was just available to me uncle whenever I wanted to and I can't throw him. I don't know why. They just, they just need to learn that I am entitled. Their time would be better spent with me no matter what. What are they going to be doing at home? Probably worrying about how fat they are. Not with me. I would never make that.

They're worries are over. You'll just tell them they're too fat. You don't have to worry about it anymore. Look, bitch. No, you know, you're at how I'm your head's going to be scrambling all around like a hamster for the gravitationally affected. Let me, let me help you out. What are you worried about? Too fat? You're right. Let's now let's get down to business. Right. Just have a good night now that that's out of the way. Yeah. You don't realize how much value I really disenfranchised. That's next. You know, I mean, what is it? What? I hanging out on your phone is better than just a night getting regaled by me about my various philosophies of, is that what you're saying? Just hanging out and doing nothing is somehow.

I can't imagine why everyone would say that. Why would you, I've just watched from freedom to fascism and I have a lot to say about it. I'm sure you have. Yes. and I have a lot to say about it. I'm sure you have, yes. And I am happy to pay for a $20 to $30-ish dollar meal for you, and all I'm asking for is four hours of your time. Do you get to pick the meal? You would want to choose the meal. Well, it has to be a reasonable,

you don't want to look like a pig. Yeah, so it has to be something that you don't really want. No, I mean you as the person, man. Yeah, choose the meal. I can see whatever I want. No, I mean you as the person, man, yeah, choose the meal. I mean, you would have what I want. Choose her meal. Oh, no, yes. Whatever, yeah, I'll pick your,

I'll even pick your meal for you. Right. So that you don't have to worry about that. That's everways funnier. All I want is four to five hours of your time and then a series of texts, a series of abusive texts after the fact when you don't wanna take it further

with the statistical probability of that happening after the fact, for probably forever. All you have to deal with for this, is me. Wonderful, is a guy texting you for one or two years after the fact. Right. Demanding to know where you live.

Yeah. Not a big deal. It's not a big deal. I don't see why you're making such a big thing of it. You're just making such a big, it's just dinner. Look, don't you want to go out and have a good time? You're making it a thing and it's not a thing. Not a thing.

I am a nice guy. Right. Women aren't knowing. They won't go out though. It is annoying. Okay. Dick, hey, Dick, I'm just calling in. What's up?

In my rage this week is women working at Home Depot. I know you've talked about it before. Yeah, they're there, they're really hurt me. Yeah. There was a lady taking our order and at the cash register, at Home Depot, we had four. We had four. We had three, we were the same and four were the same.

And she had to scan each individual one. She couldn't scan the same one. And multiple times she finagled her wrist and tried to scan one. I was at the back of the card moving around and I was thinking, what had, why don't you just scan the same color because they're exactly the same thing. I don't know, I don't get it. Anyway, that's my rage.

I shall I hey dick, see you guys later. See ya. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why. Is Home Depot some kind of like, scam, like a feminist? Why do they have so many women working at that store?

There's more women working on home. They really do, I'm always in a joy. I'm always in a joy. I'm just fabrics. Yeah. I don't know about I'm always surprised. Yeah. I don't know about Joanne's fabrics, but I know what it is, but I've never been in one. There's more women. Yeah.

I'm always surprised. I think they have like a go in there. When I go in there. When I go in there. When I go in there. Prison outreach program. We're women coming out of prison and they go straight to home depot. You might be right.

You might be right. Nothing else would explain how so many women end up in Home Depot and nowhere else. Yeah. Okay. That always struck me as odd, isn't it? Yeah. And they stand out like a sore fat thumb because they're just standing around doing nothing.

Oh, DP. All right. Hey, Deak, hey, Sean, I'm so DP. What makes me rage is the universe. Because apparently the universe has a problem with me wanting to wash my brand new fucking truck. Congratulations. I go to one of those places where you compute your card. I'm all excited.

I'm going to wash the formats. Get all the formats. Set up on the wall. Very important. I get everything trucked first because I don't like to waste a lot of money. Time is fucking money. That's right. He's really animated this week. I take my cash. I take my cash. I go to the ATM, pay the ridiculous $3 fucking cards. Go take it to cash. Go bring the cash to it. I won't accept my bills.

So I go into the store, ask for fucking, uh, roll of quarters. And the guy says, what do I look like? A bank. Meh, Meh, Meh. So don't get it bad. I go to the next car wash, fucking combed off. So I go to the gas station. You all know like the shady fucking gas station where you know,

flurpees and Indian accents. So I go to that place, kill the fuck up, except pay the extra $10 for the fucking car wash, the Rolex car wash, pull it up to the thing and guess what fucking combed off? Mother fucker! I'm a crazy M well guys driving around with a brand new dirty truck the H.C. Yeah, that sucks man. Let me see I had one thing here. I had NBC News saying that it would take 10 years to get everyone vaccinated. What? Yeah.

No, don't open all of that up. That sounded panicky. Yeah. Well, panicky. Yeah. Well, I know it crashed. I'm going to restore all those types. I mean, I have that. At the current rate, it would take almost 10 years to vaccinate enough Americans to get the pandemic.

Well, at the current rate. Well, what's, yeah, well, what's more vaccines are approved and released than you're going to when's that gonna happen? Soon. Oh, soon. Yeah, like two weeks. This was December 29th. The Trump administration's vaccine distribution program

needs a major shot in the arm. At the current rate, it'll take 10 years to inoculate enough Americans. Yeah, we can't shoot this journalist in the arm with a vaccine, please. The goal of operation warp speed is to ensure that 80% of the country get the shots by late June. To meet that goal, a little more than three million people would have to get the shots each day. The math shows. Was that necessary? The math? That's funny. Yeah. The math shows that.

In case you're wondering, the math shows that, right. But so far, only two writing people, just writing is just terrible that we have gotten so dumb. Yeah. By letting 24 year old women, 30 year old women, letting 25 to 35 year old women, not only educate all the children in the country, but also write every single law that governs our country. By having, by having whatever 435 congressmen who have to all day only fundraise for their next election, their secretaries and cabinets and handle and staff members are working with

lobbyists to write every single law that runs our country and they are all entry level positions that are that are inexplicably overstaffed with women. We have an entire country educated by the congressman gonna fuck exactly. That's fucking exactly the point who are the lobbyists gonna hire pharmaceutical broads who are the congressman gonna hire chicks that they can fuck that's right. Chicks that they can fuck. That's right. Chicks that they can fuck, or guys who are doing all the work and look like goblins or aliens. And this is the result. But so far, only two million people, most of them frontline healthcare workers and some

nursing home residents have gotten their first shots of blah, blah, blah. I don't think we're going to be able to just to distribute the 20 million doses is promised. Well, that's too bad. All right. There's the thing. This is healthy. Do I have anything else? Do I have any none?

You can be arrested for being sick. Mississippi woman stabs her husband after dreaming. He cheated. Oh, that's got to be funny. Yeah. Well, you know, just in case he was gunna Mississippi woman's bad dream turned into a nightmare for her hut. No, nope, not interested anymore. Yep. Lindsey said that. 33 is accused of stabbing her sleeping husband early Sunday after she had a dream that her husband had been cheating. Stevens was charged with domestic aggravated assault

according to Jones County online booking records. Her bail was set at $10,000. $10,000, there you go. What the fuck? Had a dream that her husband was messing around. At that point, Stevens said she went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and attacked him. She said it so she can't even go,

I was fucking ambien, sleepwalking. I was sleep said it so she can't even go, I was fucking ambien sleepwalking. I was sleep stabbing. She can't even say that. Yep, I got up, went to the kitchen, yep. What the fuck, man? Turns out I didn't realize it was a dream and I didn't ask him. Um, what the fuck? I love how antif, do you see Antifa getting thrown

under the bus now? No. Now all the mayors are like, well, you know, we tried our best. So now we're going to really throw the book at them, actually, as it turns out. We tried to deal with them for a while. Like, fucking domestic terrorists, which they always have been. But now the, no, I think it's in, it's like, wow, you know,

yeah, no, and Teef is fucking, they're fucking bad news. But anybody who didn't see that shit coming, thanks for making things look chaotic guys. Now you're going to all go in a jail. Uh, all right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. See ya. news, but anybody who didn't see that shit coming.

Thanks for making things look chaotic, guys. Now you're all going to jail. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday. See ya.