The Dick Show - Episode 242 - Dick on the Fediverse

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Entering the Fediverse, making a mess with bags of sand, half-assed robots vs half-assed humans and the $15 minimum wage, the Indoguration, cosplay and the race to the bottom of the uncanny valley, Josh Denny gets canceled for jokes, Seth Rogan vs. Count Dankula, regulating Bitcoin, a regurgitating erotic story, and Crippled Jesus gets in trouble in his Feminist Theory class; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm on a fixing spree. I noticed the the Tackle Infuel, the breadcrumb trail of sandbags in your front yard. That's like what happens when you're so tired. You just start taking off clothes in the living room and then walking to the bedroom. You saw those, did you? Yeah, like every time I sandbags, every week, it gets just more and more like, just don't care. God bless my girlfriend.

I love the permanent, I love the permanent ladder going to the roof. No, that's a feature. That we use. I never know. I know. It's like the, if you leave, you're allowed to leave a ladder in the yard. As long as you use it once a week, if that thing hasn't been used in eight days, you're violating the social protocol

of the neighborhood by leaving that ladder up. It just cracks me up. It just cracks me up. You gotta come up on the roof sometimes, Sean. I'd been up on the roof. It's nice up there. It's actually really peaceful and the views incredible. The views great.

The wind, the neighbors have those giant wall of trees, so the wind is cut down by a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it's going on already. You saw my sand, did you? I did. I saw your sand. Was that too, is that to fill up your, your cobra bag, your coat?

Yeah. I got one of those bags to be cool like you. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I'm not going to fill it up with water. No, I'm going to get right into it today, because I have a lot to cover, and we have a very famous comedian, Josh Denny coming in in a moment.

Very famous comedian. I got to have the, I don't know, actually. He's a blue check. He's verified. So, but yeah, oh man, I got it. I have, I have the most, I had the most amazing feeling of euphoria. Wash over me when Trump was booted off Twitter

and I swear to God it has not, I know absolutely for sure, absolutely for sure, what I must do in life as though it was told to me by God. I have of such a perfect plan for the next 10 years. That's something that I can not be deviated. So many dangerous people have made that exact statement right there. Oh, I know. I know it's a not's deviated. So many dangerous people have made that exact statement right there. Oh, I know.

I know exactly what. That would be deterred. I will not be way laid. I will not be stumped or stopped in any way by anyone. I know exactly what I will do. Mm-hmm. And it starts, it starts right, and it starts with the bags of sand in my front yard.

Don't give the keys to the kingdom. I'm giving, I'm telling you what I'm doing. Somebody might take your ideas. This is a marketing secret. If you tell people how they're being tricked, it works twice as good. Yeah. You know what, buddy?

It says 99 cents, but it's actually a dollar. That's a trick to fool you into thinking that it costs less. Oh, thanks for telling me. Now it's gonna work even harder. Thanks for telling me that. You know, this four-box thing we do to sell you a car? This is scam. It's just meant to obfuscate the numbers.

Now, how would you like the, now let's talk trade-in value. Not separately, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She saw the, what's not like if you go buy a car and stuff, you work it down and you talk financing or whatever afterwards. of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She saw the, what's the like, if you go by a car and stuff, you, you know, you work it down and you talk financing or whatever afterwards. Oh, yeah. I said, what can you do? And then it's like, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pay cash. We're gonna

knock the trade in value off of that. Yeah. Um, such scumbags. You saw my bags of my sand orgy in the front yard. Yeah, I did. I wanted to be cool like you. Yeah. So I got one of those bags. Wanted to be well, it doesn't look like you broke your nose, so I must be going okay. You should see the other guy. Yeah. So I got one of those cobra bags. Yeah.

The cheapest one, right? And I'm like, I'm not feeling this with water. I'm not feeling this with water. No. I'm not feeling this with water. I got a Sean half-assed it and filled it with water. Yeah, that's not as I was sloshing around. It's not sloshing, it just, it will,

it will just rock just a little bit. Is it making any noise? Oh, it rocks? Well, not rocks, just a little bit. And there's no slashing, water's rocking, rocking, no slashing, no slashing, no, no, no. I topped it off, but what I do do, there's a, there's a, in my like underground parking,

because it's, the unit I live, the place I live in is cool It's like it's like a block of four. It's like four townhouses. Okay. There's it sounds cool Yeah, like covered You know, it's covered parking all secure and everything like that and you get like two full spaces You know side by side and everything so I can I can just pull the thing out from the little thing on the side I got tons of room nobody's ever in there It's you put on your old made boxing uniform, the blue block boxers with a wife beater

shirt and some spats on your socks and dress socks and spats. Yes, exactly. That's how you box. Go down there and fucking go down there, just in my boxers. That's it. So I said, for this, just start this, I'm not filling it up with water like a jerk like Shondit, and then I have to lie to people about how it doesn't slosh. I'm filling it up with sand. I'm doing things right for the first time in my life. So I go, I go to Home Depot,

and I buy sand, you know, what sand? Just buy a bag of sand, right? You guys have bags of sand in your triple X section here in the back behind the curtain. Yeah, I'll take I'll take everything. Give me a much sand as I can carry. Now, where's your funnels? Oh, oh, that's right. I remember that you guys stopped selling funnels in the early 2000s because me and my friends were turning them into beer bongs at parties. Oh my God. You're fucking stop telling funnels. I remember that while I'm in Home Depot That's where the fuck are the funnels. Oh, that's right. You gotta go to an auto-bark store You're fucking more on stop selling funnels to fuck me over when I was in the middle of making beer bongs Underage. Yeah fucking there's still not back man. I had a great beer bong

You probably used it which one the beer The bearbong, which I got it home depot. I made it on off, on off, Vell. I don't remember that. You don't have to fuck with your thumb or anything like that. That gross. Yeah, just go on. Do you remember the octobong? Two one expressed how to an octobong.

Yeah, eight people, because you filled it up with a hole, you put the keg in there. Yeah. Is it okay? Well, it's fucking fucking crazy though that you're a remember that like there was some like epidemic of people like oh underage beer bonking you can get it anywhere I oh wow I completely remember that I can't

totally fucking stumped us now here I am 20 years later getting fucked over again I couldn't believe the memory of bam like oh my god I bet people don't even remember this anymore that that's why they did that I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. The memory of bam, like, oh my God, I bet people don't even remember this anymore that that's why they did that. I didn't tell you just said that, and now I completely remember it. So aggravating. Because you were the one who told me about it. So I got so weird.

Well, I guess I'll just go home and try to shovel sand into the box and cobra bag platform by the handful and just try to cram it in there. I don't want it sitting in parts all over the fucking garage. Like, yeah, another thing I haven't completed. You know, there's an, you know, there's an auto zone like two minutes from your home depot. I didn't know that funnels.

I didn't know that they sold them in auto zone. Well, how are you? You got to put fluids in and out of bars. You're telling, obviously, this is, I'm just in the middle of a freak out. I'm figuring out how to buy funnels, remembering that I'm Captain hindsight. I don't remember that auto zone sold funnels. I didn't know that.

Did you get it in there? I got the funnel off. I had to sit with all the crap in the garage for three days. And now I'm like, well, in three days, I don't even know if I'll ever want to work out again. You ordered a funnel. You ordered a fucking funnel. I know what the hell is going to be.

I figured, look, if kids are building beerbongs, they're home to eat both and they're building beerbongs everywhere. So I'm just going to have to order the funnel. So I'm just going to have to order the funnel. And try to eyeball how big a fucking sand funnel will be. So the funnel arrives. It's course, it's all fucked up. So I have to chop it into pieces.

Okay, put the funnel in, put the sand in, and of course the base, the base is built. So there's a little hole, a tiny circular hole for what you're supposed to put in there, and then it stops immediately and branches off, it just goes right into the hole, goes right into flat space, and then goes off into this, it doesn't go straight fucking down. Is it because it, did you have, is the base one piece or did you have to fit it together? It's one piece, but for some reason,

they made the part under the hole, hollow. So the sand has to go like a magic, like magic sand, and go down into the corners immediately. So I'm out in the street trying to shuffle it, cramming it full of sand, shuffling it, getting sand everywhere. I finally just said, fuck it. I cut a hole in the, cut a giant hole in the side with a Dremel, the first use for a Dremel in history, cutting the side in the hole of a thing that says you sand in it for a better experience, but offers you know No, but offers you know no help at all in getting a fucking sand into the thing

It puts yeah There's so many impediments to you using this thing use water But you sand for the best experience. Okay. How do I get it in there? No idea. Oh, I don't know absolutely no I just have to be lucky. You have to be like it's like the golden ticket you buy one with sand already in it You know I use place you you get the one you got to use play sand the more expensive sand you got to use that I don't fucking get in there I'm a kind of sand that's what they say go buy play sand So it's a so it actually like goes off of that little divider there

I suppose it's just all lies. It's one lie after another. Fuck it. Fine. Cutting a hole. So now I have a, now I have a base for the fucking cobra bag with a chopped out square in it with gorilla tape all over it. Hmm. Have you used it yet? Oh man, I use it. I'm so as fuck. Are you? It's great. Yeah. Do you have a, do you have like back gloves or anything? I ordered some some I was just using my hands. No, I yeah That's good. You just you know you can you got to make sure man I was picturing you can you can you can hurt your thumb? Sean I know man

That's the first thing 80s girl said she's like I want to do it and she gets ready to her thumbs are sticking out like a thumbs up I said whoa, whoa, whoa No, make sure are you careful are you you got yeah, no make sure that are you Careful are you you're gonna break your fucking thumb like that behaving in the way that go sit down Go sit down and think about what you've done. It's fun though. I forgot to start the show Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- The guy just give me a lot of room on her bound. I'm talking to even the hardest city of failure. I mean, how's Dick Mashlin' AK? The $20 million man voted America's worst Mexican 92 weeks running. God, joining me is always his LA world touring LA based comedian. Shiny audio engineer. Hello, Dick.

What's up, buddy? What's up, thank you for not killing yourself. Oh, I got you, largely. That's fine. I feel absolutely fantastic in euphoric with a purpose. I have a purpose. I have a purpose, finally. I don't know what it was.

It was Trump getting banned from Twitter. I said, well, God, very unhealthy. And then the banks refusing to do service with them now, cutting off his banks like you know what? You're like the same God. You can't fucking do it. It's gotta be another way. No chance, no chance of doing it.

Are you federated? Let me ask you that. Are you federated? Are you federated? I don't know if I Feel federated. I don't know if I feel I'm not even sure if I would know where to get federated. Oh my god. There's two things that I know about myself Wait, what I'm federated a little bit. Well, it was one you're not Not authorized

You're definitely not off now, but now I'm a purpose in being authorized. I don't think I'm federated either not federated either I don't think you got to ask me like God You might be they're fucking up. There might be another word there might be another word for federated that I winner That I know that's the other word what winner a winner federated federated. Are you fed yes or no? I don't know federated. I'm probably I'm probably not federated at all. So tell me about to have one would get fed her aided baby baby baby. I'm double fed her a double seeker fed her a**. Yeah, right. I got a plan man.

I got a big plan. I'm bringing everybody with me and fixing this shit. I'm fixing this internet shit. Lonson for all. Okay. I'm fixing it all. First stop is getting fed her aided. She must do.

Okay. You know what it is? It's just like how, you know how email works? How all emails can like email each other? You never, like whatever domain. You never worried about getting kicked off your email, right? So I know what I wrote. I mean, no, fucking email. Yeah, I've never worked like that.

I've never worked on email. It's like that same setup, but for social media. So you could be blank at whatever. I started at paypig.org. So you sign up there, that's all my stuff. You never get kicked off. You never get kicked off. There's thousands of motherfuckers in this system.

Thousands, people are getting on it, dropping at paypig.org. Paypig.org. People are signing up, doing exactly the same as the Twitter thing, servers are all, federation means that it's not centralized. It's not decentralized, it's right in the middle. There's just like a bunch of servers doing it.

Just like how email works, like Tor is decentralized. You can never federate is slightly different. That's what it means. Honey, can I get a diet coke please? So I said, oh, did you just get back? Thank you, thank you, thank you. What was I saying? People are coming in, dropping in, bombzing.

I go, no one cares. Oh my God, I suddenly don't, it's not fun. Which I, no one cares. Like, and I can see it on here. Oh, I feel cringe now that I've done so, because no one fucking cares. It's unbelievable. It feels like being transported back

into the early 2000s of the internet, this feeling. It's self, it's wild. Wow. It's wet and wild, and I'm in it. And I'm in it getting wet and wild with these people. Gen Zers, is that the ones after millennials? Gen Zers are explaining to me, to me,

as I'm getting in there, what a wild and uncensored internet look like. And I'm like, are you guys fucking, do you guys understand who you're talking to? I fucking, I put, I assembled jumpers. I had to convince my mom to drive me 15 miles to the mall to get a 14-4 modem so I could call up a BBS and try to have sex with an imaginary waitress over text.

Are you on the legend of the red dragon, bulletin board gaming system? Don't you fucking tell me about the wild wild west i know exactly what the wild wild west i know exactly what the wild west and the fuck are you talking to yep it's all been done man like that it's back baby yeah it's back exactly yeah i remember that the first time when it was called this yeah i remember what this was like you fucking nerds beat on beat on beatong, beatong, beatong. Oh, I know that sounds. That's it.

Yes, I do. Ah, we're back, baby. One of the most harsh sounds ever. You gotta get federated. Federated, okay. I'm gone. One by one, you know what it was? You're probably getting me kicked off.

You can't be kicked off. I don't want to. I own it. You'll find. You'll find a way. You can't be fucking kicked. I'm trying, are you telling that story last week? Wasn't great to have Ari back in studio.

Oh man, oh wow. She was telling that story of how she got six million views on that video of her running around half naked on TikTok. And they won't even let her put her link to her Patreon on there. I thought this is madness. All of these people just contributing to companies that on there. I thought this is madness. All of these people just contributing to companies that hate them, like that things that build rules on purpose

to prevent them from making any money, or even as a courtesy, hey, can I plug my, you come on a podcast, can I plug my stuff? No. Can you imagine the, no, of course matter of this company? They came on the podcast is contributing to the success of that podcast. Of course you let them do a plug. So I'm going to try to

get actual big people off. Because you know, the big people, they want to get federated. They don't want to come to a server where people are dropping end bombs and behaving inappropriately. You're gonna have to censor them. I built them their own instance. I got verified.

I got verified as fuck the domain name verified.af. I'm gonna start bringing motherfucker. I'm gonna really, I'm really trying. Better than I gotta get. Because parlor got shut down. I don't know. What's parlor? Parlor was a Twitter clone built by muscle dummies

and meatheads and conserva bros and promoted by people who I guess woke up yesterday and don't understand that you're in a battle against multi billion that is a trillion dollar machine that wants to destroy you. These mother they built parlour. They built parlour as a freeze whatever alternative to Twitter felt like crap. It drove like a se-like a Buick from the 70, like those big drum breaks where you feel like you're gonna die, and if you, if you like stop paying attention for even half a second.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The stomping times were scary in those old cars. It drove like a houseboat in a miniature golf attraction. Boom, boom, boom. It just felt like crap. Barler, 57 point turn and you still kill 50 people. We're gonna take down the establishment. Oh, that's awesome.

What did you guys build your system on? Amazon. You are the establishment. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? What you think was gonna happen, you idiots? Yeah, of course, that's the way you're way out of it. Let's go for it.

That one's pretty obvious, but I could also see that making a lot of mistakes because they don't have the knowledge that somebody like you has, widely I am readily available. Talking about this at any moment, if you did not do even the slightest amount of research to see that your grand scheme would be destroyed because it's centralized, then that is shame on you.

Yeah, yeah. My point is people don't like to do that. Gotta, we gotta start thinking. We gotta start thinking. The realization came to me that we're the bad guys. Well, you've always the bad guys. We gotta start thinking. We gotta start thinking. The realization came to me that we're the bad guys. Well, you've always the bad guys. We gotta survive. It's not about winning.

It's about figuring out how to survive. Anywhere. How did I get off onto the, are you ready for the Indog-Tranation? The Indog-Indoguration? Sean, you ready for the Biden's in dog, duration? What is the, is the dog gonna be like a ring bearer or something or a cock ring bearer?

Oh, that's what he's gonna, he's got, may first dog to get virtual in dog, duration. Ah, look at him, look at that dog. Looks like a good dog. He's excited, he did, does, I'm excited for the in dog, duration. It looks excited. So I can imagine's excited. He did. He's excited for the indroguration. It looks excited.

So I can imagine all the fat pigs at home clapping along. This is um, maybe they're sitting there dogs. And put in the fucking TV. You could be the first dog if you put your mind to it someday. Are you telling me that you don't watch the puppy bowl every year? No, you know what? It got, they made it, they made it, it became aware of it. Did jump the shark.

Oh, so it used to be, it used to be cool. Yeah. And then they wrecked it. Just once I want to see everybody tuning into the puppy bowl, and it goes to some like underground footage of a dogfight ring. Just immediately, like, and you can't unsee stuff. Just for like 10 seconds. Somebody just stir it out. Fetterated space, Sean.

You gotta get federated. Sign up for an account. Sean, it's verified.as. Oh, you'll just verify. You'll do it. You'll do it on your phone. You'll do it for me. And then you'll somehow that'll go down.

Visa cancels a porn hub, right? Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. All the idiot conservatives, oh, good. It's about time. All the idiot conservatives, oh good, it's about time. Yeah. All the guys are about time. They got those guys. It's about time they got those guys.

Yeah, well, it's just, yeah, now Visa canceled you. People don't think about that. People don't, but they don't recognize double-edged swords. But I'm not, I'm not a good guy. No, you idiots, they're not protecting kids. They're protecting their bottom line. You stupid fucks. Exactly.

If you are an enemy of the bottom line, you will be destroyed. Stop thinking they're fighting for, they don't stop fighting for kids. They don't care what your ideology is. Oh. If it's bad, if it's bad, I don't care about human life.

No, if it's bad, if it's bad for business, you don't, it's bad for you in their eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. I'll tell you what makes me rage. Oh, I was in quite a panic the other day. Is this what you feel like every week? Me?

I save it all up. I feel great. No, no, no, I mean me. I actually feel. I heard, dude, I don't ever, I feel hungover no matter what. That's what I thought. I feel hungover and sore, no matter what. I wake up, everything hurts, no matter what.

My face is it's random, my face will be in an incredible, blocked up and incredible pain. My teeth will hurt, I can't touch them. Why is that? Because I grind my teeth all in my hands. That happens to me too, but the federal reserve. No, like the whole, like the whole side of your face will be like, it's because your teeth are slightly misled and you're like grinding it all fucking hard. But, like the whole side of your face will be like, cause your teeth are slightly misled.

I'm in your like grinding it all fucking hard. But like all the way up to your head and stuff and like your skin is sensitive to touch, fuck, I thought it was like, yeah. That's because you're, that was like fibromyalgia or something. Might be. I might have a little bit of that.

Sometimes that happens to me. I'm like, this is weird. And then like the next day it's all right again. I was, that's cause you're grinding your teeth. Oh yeah, I do. I do. I've chipped my teeth. Me too.

I love talking about teeth. Teeth? I love teeth talk. You like teeth talk? I'll call 900 numbers just to get some teeth talk in. Yeah. Yo bitch, wanna hear about, let me tell you, tell me about your teeth problems.

What are your teeth problems? You got any gaps? She'll go like, I had to have a... I get a bone every time I see Dave Letterman. Yeah, I got a thing for gaps. Oh yeah. Yeah. I want to, does he like sit at home and fit quarters through it?

Yeah, just to keep it, just in case they're getting crowded or something like that, he just sits there with like some fine grit sandpaper and just fucking, it's just like, how dirty do you want like root canal? And no, I do like, oh yeah. Tell me about how you're like that. You gotta start with an abscess. Yeah, I had like an anchor, an anchor in the bone

and then they had three fake teeth put it in together and you're telling me about something like that. I remember, the guy used to, that's how I get down. I used to work with, man, he raised motorcycles when he was younger and I think he got a really bad accident and he smashed some of his front teeth out

and then whatever, he got a bridge, right? Oh yeah, that's the point. Before he could get teeth stuck. He got a bridge, but he broke half the bridge because it was the kind that goes in like the roof of your mouth. He broke half of it. And we were working, you know,

late one night was crazy, we were getting slapping. I told him a joke and he fucking laughed so hard. He flung his teeth into the garbage can. There's a big, there's a big plastic garbage can and this wasn't a film lab when I started. We make the four color separations back in the days before digital. Right.

For digital. Back in the day. Yeah. And yeah, he laughed them right into a fucking trash can, which I hit the ground and he was like, I think that's fucking funny, huh? It's funny, yeah. He's like, I guard against that every fuck.

He told me one time. That's sex. Funny. Yeah, he grew up in Echo Park, grew up like it was a rough neighborhood at that time before I got all gentrified. We'll get back into fights. He used to get into fights. Yeah.

Oh no, exactly. Dude, the crime. So this citizens app that I have, you said it's going crazy finally cry It's like one or two a day now of gun gun related a guy a guy tried to trap everyone in a dollar store popped up there local man He found it was actually a dollar set of 99 cents He was trying to lock everyone there. What is the plan on that? That's just mayhem. Yeah, what are you gonna do? robbery no But this guy said he he's he got into a fight and he stopped the fight because

his teeth fell out. I was like literally, I got it. No, like literally, he's like, I was not going to fucking go without. I'm not walking around without teeth. I was like, what did he stop? He's like, yeah, he thought it was weird, but he stopped. I was in, I'll tell you a teeth chalk is over. I'll tell you what makes me rage. I was in a bunch of rush. It's a number over. I was in a bit of a rush trying to get my brand new computer that I got. It's already messed up. What new computer did you, you got another laptop? Yeah, it's been, you know, five years time to get another one. No, it's good. Let this one be the. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm sure they fucked it up.

They get worse every generation. The fucking, the keys, the keys are like, the keys are like, they're out of Olmex temple. They're so big. They're like, each single key, you bought a jitterbug of Apple. Yeah, yes. We are 40 now.

It's like, you have to, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. It's like a drum kit doing the keys. They're so big and far apart. Really? And they, and they fuck up. I said, you guys, your keyboard is keys. They're so big and far apart. Really? And they fuck up. I said, you guys, your keyboard is fucked. They should bring it in.

All right, bring it in. Bring it in, it's COVID, so we don't have any appointments. You gotta bring in two weeks. Wait, literally it's a larger keyboard. Yes, I'll show you the keys are big. And they're too fucking big. It's like a, wow, it's like a, I feel like a horror.

I'm trying to, you can't do the same spans. Like it's, it's like a, it's like a horror. I feel like a horror. I'm just trying to know. You can't do the same spans. Like it's, it's just odd. Like it's, it's just pressing one side and it doesn't, I don't know if it goes in all the way. Like what the fuck is going on here? Yeah.

I know how a keyboard works. I know you guys fucked this up. It's not me. So I say, okay, bring it in. You know, it's COVID, everything's very busy. Yeah, so it's been a year, but we still, I mean, we still have no idea how to, uh, some people for this. Yeah.

I know. Don't even, I can't even, can't even figure it out. Yeah. You know, do you figure it out just in time for it to not have to be necessary? We've just been, Apple, at Apple, we've been so busy selling corporate bonds to the Federal Reserve for no fucking reason other than to drive our completely detached stock price through the fucking ceiling. We had no time to figure out how to service customers on our janky ass keyboard. I like fed talk.

Take to each his own. You're in a tooth talk. A fed talk, man. So I think I mean, I see a picture of Alan Greenspan back in the mean, that was like classic Playboy centerfold right there. Oh, good. Like Alan Pictures. She's coming back. So bringing in in two weeks and 1240, we'll see what we can do. All right. So I go looking at the clock, getting ready to go in.

I said, all right, this is a reason. I'm doing reasonable things today. Not doing anything crazy. If I should be able to eat lunch and then go. Yeah. lunch. I finish the sand bag, you know, into the, this is working on that off. I'm trying to keep that off of my mind, grapes. Right. Halfway through my sandwich and I look at the clock and it says 12.35 and I say, what the fuck? 12.35. I'm going to be late for my thing and I can't get my thing fixed. I

got to go. Eating my sandwich all fast, getting in the car, hauling ass across town. Damn, I'm late for school. What movie's that? Back to the future. Very good. Yes. Very good.

Fuck you. Very good. I get halfway there, look at the clock to get taxing. It's like 12.30, said, hey, hold on a minute. Wait, did I go back in time? I get home, I say, oh, oh, I think I know what happened here. I get back home after the dealing with the computer people. I wait for 80s girl to finish her class and say, hey, can I ask you a question about the

clock and the clock, the only clock we have on this floor of the house. Is it perhaps show a time that is not the accurate? If I looked at my phone and the clock, would they match? And if so, do you happen to know by how much they would be watching? So yeah, I said it ahead. So I would make sure I would be on time.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. on ties. He's gonna fucking kill me one of these days. You're gonna fucking kill me. I'm gonna have a heart attack. You need, I'm freaking out because I'm 10 minutes late. You need to at least know, you'd be aware of that. Put a little posted note that says minus of 10 minutes on this clock because what you're doing,

what you're doing is gaslighting reality. What you're doing is trying to change reality from me in a way that I know is accurate. I cannot, I cannot live under a time that is changing from one observation, from one observed timepiece to the next, going from my phone to the only, the obvious clock in the house on the stove and seeing an inaccurate time,

this aggression will put it, this has got to go back. This has got to go or this is going away forever. You can fuck around with your own, fuck around with your phone, fuck around with your watch. But this is, if women, if women had it their way, they would move the sun in the sky to speed them up into getting on time correctly. So you could, so it would be impossible to tell time. If women control, if women had their way, there would only be four minutes every hour. That's it.

Okay. And they would go ahead every day, it would go ahead 10 more minutes. Yeah. To keep you on time and to keep you, as soon as a woman was late, they would all hit a button that would move time forward.

Right. So that it would all, so that by the time it was lunch, it's actually three in the morning. Mm-hmm. Do you understand what I'm saying? I do understand what you're saying. This is what they setting the clocks forward in the house to be on time. And yeah, if you don't know about it, yeah, potential, you could have been killed.

I mean, I'm showing up, stroked and sweat. Yeah. Driving all fast. Right. Yeah, boy, you're... Ah. Eating my shoveling my sandwich in my fucking mouth for what purpose?

Not good for digestion, it's very unhealthy. How about, how about $15 an hour? Is that benefiting? That's what they're raising minimum wage too. It's gonna be a hell of a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. $18 minimum wage. Yeah.

So if you're making 15 now, and you're the one who's good at work. Right. And then everyone else is making... How pissed are you? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone else is making seven, eight. Well, I got good news for you guys.

You'll all be making 15, come summertime, then you'll all have, well, what about me? Do I get, I was making 15, double them. You've been way ahead. So I'm making my way through. You've been working now? Yeah, because I mean, I'm paying 15 for a reason when you're paying everybody else half of that.

I'm clearly you value my services more. Yeah, like I'm better than them. Yeah. I'm in deservement of more money and stuff than them. They're fucking dumb. Well, kick you up to 17. Oh, really? Sure.

What about the guy making 30? An hour or 25 an hour. That's a reasonable amount of money, right? 25 an hour. Wow, what you're doing great 2650 I mean, hey, you know things are tight, you know things are tight. We're working here We're trying to get all these all the worthless people up to a you know, 15. You know, we got 11 million new people We got to account for kind of our business has been shut down for a year. And now we got to pay all the dummies that were definitely barely worth anything that were,

you know, seven an hour. Now we've got to pay them double, double. Well, double, like a magic fucking number. Yeah. In Alabama, you get rid of, you get rid of them. There's got like a whole class of people who are gonna be basically like unemployable, right? Oh yeah, I mean, because everyone who was making

less than $15 an hour is now technically unemployable. Yeah, and you get, they're not fucking worth it or they would have been paid that much. No, that's exactly right. And that's always what, that's the, you know, the economic consensus. I mean, is that it will,

it will get, it will result in like a bunch of unemployment for the less least skilled, the least skilled people. And they can't go work at restaurants because we killed all those. Yeah. So what are they gonna do?

Yeah. Crime, right? I mean, what do you do? If you don't have any money and you can't get a job, you just do crimes. It's not fucking hard. Yeah, I would think there would have to be, there would have to be an increase in that.

And people, yeah, what are you gonna do? And you know what, nobody's talking about? Here's the worst part. Okay. Here's what nobody's talking about. They're gonna get replaced by machines, right? Yeah. Little kiosks, right?

Okay, everybody's talking about that. Little fucking burger by machines, right? Yeah, little kiosks, right? Okay, everybody's talking about that. A little fucking burger flipping machines, right? Someone have robot at the front of Costco saying, welcome to Costco, welcome to Costco, I love you. Beboob, right? Yeah. But all of these machines, no one's talking about this part. All of these machines.

Show me your card. All of these machines will not work. They will not be very good. They will all be Roombas. They're not going to be good for a long, long time. I mean, it's never going to be good. It's a half-ass person. We always better than a half-ass machine. Oh, yeah. Exactly. No, it's going to take forever to get the we always put things out way too early. It never fucking wears all kinds of unintended consequences. Yeah, it's going to be a fucking disaster. At the Home Depot, the thing when the computer

start beat, don't beat, don't, I've the little fat Mexican woman with the magical card that somehow fixes it every time is like Jesus Christ coming over there. A half-assed human beats a half-assed machine any day of the week because the other half-assed machine can't go over to the really half-assed machine and fix it. Yeah. It is, we are going to be living and serviced by an army of half-assed machines that will not work. We're already being serviced by an automated voicemail system. You see how well that, because you know what?

How does that work? Well, it's designers. It's expensive. It's designed fucking not to work. You mean, you mean, you mean because you couldn't pay some large ass in the middle of the country, 12 cents an hour to just pick up the phone and direct your call, because that's illegal. Now we all have to deal with a fucking phone tree.

Well, now anybody who gets paid less than 15 bucks is going to get phone street. Thanks a lot. That's what I'm not hearing. No, you know, a good cause, a good cause replacement by robots. No, like crappy robots, you mean? Yeah.

Like crappy robots. Yeah. No, I mean, that is a side that I have read about and it makes perfect sense to me that, because like, first go ahead and say, well, yeah, of course, like wouldn't be great if everybody, it's like, yeah, be fucking really fantastic. Yeah, what's going to have what are the negatives? There's a it's really, yeah, there's it's just there's there's nothing for free or it's going to be

it's going to it's going to be paid somewhere. It's going to be paid in dings in your cars because instead of paying some schmuck eight dollars an hour to round up the carts, now they will pay a, a, a roomba, now they will pay the roomba company to invent a cart corralling machine that will malfunction and fuck up and whip carts around the parking lot like it's having the rodeo. Yeah. And it will fuck up everyone's car out of nowhere. And you will be sitting there with a confused look on your face thing. Well, I guess that's just the way it is. I guess automation. Huh. How about that? Not looking forward to it. You're not looking forward Not to the Roombas and Tesla machines. No whipping carts around parking lots. I know not you don't make it sound very

Enticing not they couldn't make it go up a little bit every it's got to be $15 Yeah, fuck is the science behind that one. No, there's, I mean, there's not and that's what the, the, you know, they're a large group. Well, no, no, pretty much every economist. 1499. Was that science, doesn't economically, that's not, oh, pretty much every economist that I've, I've seen states exactly that, like that is one of the negatives. It will, it will do this. So, no, I just had to go up. Yeah.

When you just, it's artificial when you just snap your fingers and $15, it's like the whole infrastructure that there's nothing in place to mitigate that kind of a sudden change. You make $22 an hour. 22. You do 75. You make 25. That hour. 22, 75. You make 25. That's your rate.

25, yeah. That's what you're making now. I mean, I don't know. I'm feeling a little bit of, what's that word called, murderous resentment for everyone that's suddenly making almost what I'm making, even though I've busted my ass for 10 years, working up, working up the Stoggy Dog World.

Yeah, the corporate ladder. Well, one thing that I manage your past, don't set the machine. Yeah, I know one thing that I learned, and I know you know, I mean, you learn, hopefully at a young age, some people don't get it is, don't ever, don't ever be a company man.

Like don't, don't ever, I don't fucking choice anymore. Don't, but I mean, don't ever, but always know, don't ever think that they have your best interest at heart. You can like the people or the company you work for, whatever, but if it doesn't work for you, if they're making a decision, they're saying, hey, we're going to like restructure this. You're going to make the same amount of money, but you're getting fucked somehow and you

need to figure it out. I just can't believe. Don't ever think that it's gonna benefit you. It's the guy making, it's the guy making 1450 that I feel bad for. Yeah. Here's you go. Here's your 50 cent raise. Yeah, I don't know.

Somehow I don't buy it. Somehow I think that all of these guys got, somehow I think that we all got a little bit fucked here. Yeah. Sure. Here's something else that makes me rage. Children eating shakuturi Yeah. For sure. Here's something else that makes me rage. Children eating Shakyu-Theri plates. Oh yeah.

We were over at my sister's house and my sister's, my brother and mom. That should be in a bowl of mac and cheese over at the fucking plastic table. My Shakyu-Theri plates, like, yeah. Oh, it's very, yeah. Oh, would you pass me that girkin, please? That corny chone, please?

There, these are my brother-in-law, man, say, beautiful. I'll have the boar sausage. A beautiful, sharp cutery plate. With all kinds of fancy cheeses and sausages, different sized sausages, fat ones, skinny ones, crackers that have perforated edges, like an old printer. Oh, man. Very inefficient packaging. that have perforated edges like an old printer. Yeah. Oh man. Damn that.

Very inefficient packaging. I've packaging. In fact, makes it more delicate to handle these crackers and take them out, preparing the stuff. Well, that's how you know they're, they're, they're ritzy, you know, I mean, not ritz crackers, but that's how you know they're, because it's all the waste, the wastefulness, you know,

the, the waste. Don't put these in the back. You have to put them in the, Quick aside, did you know that rich people, William Randolph Hearst was a good example of this where when paper goods came out, he would often, he would set the table with those. He would have the people set like paper napkins because it was like a show of affluence. You don't have to wander, just throw them away. Yeah.

It's like paper paper was ritzy. Anyway, go ahead, Chuck, replay it. He sets out this wonderful plate and I'm thinking, well, you know, that early the kids are out. How are we going to make sure the kids don't get into this Shruku replay? Because they don't know. Oh, you mean it was like their kids don't know what the fuck they're doing. It was like four later or it was right now. Okay. Well, you should have read it. Yeah. But then it's got to be up raised on the on the counter or something. So the kids can't reach it and don't know if they're gonna eat it. But then it's gotta be up raised on the counter or something, so the kids can't reach it and don't even see it.

They aren't aware of it. Just sit in front of it. Need it. Well, he puts it down in front of the TV on the TVs and these kids start taking, yeah, they're like fucking piranha. Just by the handful. Cracker, yeah, let me get some of those.

Not savering at all. Like, oh, mixing flavors that have no business together. I mean, Bambi, I'm taking five of multiple slices of, uh, Parmesan, uh, Parmesan, uh, Reggiano, what is that?

The hard cheese, multiple slices of Reggiano. Yeah, Reggiano, shopping them, like, what are you, what are you, what are you chewing? You've got to put some, first, I mean, puts a cracker with it at least. What are you doing in God's name?

Now we have to rush. God, you know what, savage. I'm gonna give these sandwiches out of this. Uh-huh. Terrible. So, yeah, did you, I mean, did they finally just get cut off? No, they ruined it. Oh, all right.

All right, well. Stabbed in with the cheese, right? Out. Yeah. Now, out of this. Throwing all the ratio all off, I see that cheese getting denuded because they always like one thing or two things. They just, yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, I guess I'll just have some crackers and meat then. Maybe I can imagine some, can you guys draw a picture of some cheese for me? So I could imagine it on this. Boy, that's, that is rough. These are $15,000. That's one of the worst things

that's probably ever happened to anyone for sure. Certainly on the last 100 years. Cosplay and uncanny valley. The uncanny valley. Hours are getting into the Uncanny Valley from the opposite direction of notice. Who was? Who was?

Online. You know about horrors online? Yeah, I do. They figured out that if they dress up like video game characters, then they get more attention. Right. Yeah.

But they always do it wrong, and they look kind of odd. Really? Because they're like, you know, you're lazy, usually. Yeah. Fat a lot of times. Mm.

And then just, like, it just looks odd. So much that you've got computer generated women in the, I think that are more out of the uncanny valley than thoughts that are dressed up like computer women. Does that make sense? It's really weird, I found myself swirling the timeline the other day, seeing all these hoors dressed up as like,

in like their cosplay and the wigs are all like weird, the wigs are weird looking, a skew, a skew, and the colors are all off and they're a little too fat and then it goes past like a regular computer girl. I think, well, that looks more, wait a minute. What is happening here? This, the horror, the real woman looks fake. Now it looks more on candy than the computer.

Did great. I know. I'm really glad that you guys found the lowest spot in the uncanny valley to appeal to me. Yeah, they're in the fucking thank you for that. It's an oceanic viathy. They're in the, they're in challenger deep of, yeah, really, really thanks for that. Thanks for not worrying at all how tits work in 3D in a computer.

You can make every, every strand of hair in the Incredibles has a whole algorithm dedicated to you know But not once can anyone figure out how tits move and you mystery horse Thanks so much for cramming your personal brand. I got some sandbags out and though we can figure it out I just very look at pictures of sand. Yeah bags You can do that in federated space by the way anything you It really is. I'm gonna get you on it. Okay. Um, okay, let me see what else I have. Trippy. Us. Oh, you're gonna love this one. Yeah. A peer reviewed study from Stanford. Uh, do you know about Stanford? I know about Stanford. Uh, says that there's no clear benefits to lockdowns. What do you think about that?

What do you think about that one? Well, I don't know. I'll have to look into it. You have to look into it. Yeah, I have to look into it. What are you going to look into? Pureview study. Well, yeah, I'll look for, you know, other peer reviewed studies.

What the, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's going to be some that disagree to, well, sure, to to lock downs in general or this lock down or you know I'm in country wide for the United States. No for all of them all countries Implementing not I mean that's certainly something that I would take you know a peer reviewed study by Stanford Yeah, by study by their by their infectious disease or epidemiology or virology department or is it is it? No. Well, I mean that, I mean that stuff matters though.

Bucci aya was among the group of scientists. Bucci a what co-authored by J Bucci aya professor of medicine and economics. Okay. Well, it's a vocal opponent. Okay. It just shakes me. That yeah, that's, that raises a flag to me. They're not,

I don't care. I reviewed. True. But I mean, yeah, peer reviewed, but what, what's the review look like? Other scientists say like, yeah, that's good. No, the methodology is good. No, well, or they, or not. Well, yeah, or not. It's not in the grid of it. Well, yeah, or they make you a, yeah, it's tracks me and not in the grid of it. Well, yeah, or they make you a, yeah. It strikes me. That's kind of dumb stuff. It strikes me that we have multiple peer reviewed studies going both way and that people feel empowered enough

to debunk either side of it, which is that process is called science. Like you have actual scientists. So actual scientists say from the consensus is, we don't know. Yeah, more or less. You put them together. One side says, no. Well, it depends.

Sometimes there is that kind of 50, 50 thing. Sometimes there's one person who's way on the outskirts. No, but look, look, look. But yeah, if you say, this is what I do. Uh oh. I mean, if I, if I, if I just methodology that you're about to describe peer-reviewed, I don't think it is. Maybe not.

Well, we're peer-reviewed right now. If I, if I hear something and I want to find out more about it, right? And it's just like, well, there's, there seems to be controversy about it. I'll do, I'll do a non-biased search. Yeah. Like I won't, like put, put any kind of loaded, you know, loaded terminology in the, in the search. Oh, what's up, man?

Welcome to the program, sir. Thanks. Thanks for having me. How are you doing? I'm doing all right. How are you doing? Are you resisting? Am I resisting? Are you part of the resistance? I don't really are. I don't really know that I'm active enough to be resisting anything That's good for everyone Not being active enough. Yeah. Wait, what were you, you were describing your methodology for to be bunking? Well, I was just trying to find the information, right? But a non-loaded search term and see, see who says what about it?

Yeah. What they're, where they, what they're associated with. What are their qualifications? Yeah. Like it's like, I'm not that interested if we're talking about, not that interested if we're talking about viruses and stuff like that. I probably want to see peer reviewed stuff from virologist, epidemiologist, infectious disease specialist. I'm not interested in somebody whose expertise is like MRI, though he may be incredible

at that. Yeah. So, and then I see if somebody is routinely way out there, like they may have the same qualifications, but who's the odd man out? What else have they studied? Okay. Or do they have a consistent pattern of that? That doesn't mean they're wrong. It's just something to look at.

Yeah. I mean, it's odd to me that people are empowered to be making these decisions on something like a lockdown. So like, if you have our vitamins effective, you're going to find both sides. Like, yeah, we found them. Do we find that they're a little bit of a little bit healthy for you? They find out. Some people say, yeah, we invite shit. Well, if you are lacking something, is when they're effective. The regular, regular people probably get, unless your diet's terrible, get pretty much what you need from your food. But people are still going to swear by them.

I was like, well, you know, I, well, but I don't know. I see it. But those are the same, those are the same people who buy fucking, you know, what are the, what are the pyramid schemes from, you know, they're not. There are a lot of people eat vitamins. A lot of people eat multivitamins every day. No, they do, but they don't have such a crazy opinion. They're like, it's usually not those people

who are swearing about like, God, if I don't get my fucking centri-vite, I'm totally different. Yeah, I mean, just my experience. Meanwhile, you got smoking caused cancer, yes, everybody, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, we're taking that seriously. You got lockdowns, do lockdowns help? Some people say yes, but people like this say no, not at all.

It's not exactly the same as the vitamin situation to me. It's like, okay, well, these are what the study says. So, it's clearly not, it's not smoking level sure, but it's like vitamin level sure. So, maybe I think about that, not lock everything down. Well, no, no, and there's, but it's like, the smoking thing is pretty, pretty cut and dry, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, the smoking thing is pretty, pretty cut and dry, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, it's gonna cost you the, and it's still a goal. Yeah, well, isn't that crazy?

No, it's not crazy. It's great. Well, it's fucking great. No, but I mean, it's crazy that they haven't managed to, they took away alcohol for a period of time. It's going to weigh again too, which is, can't go to bars. Which was, I guess considered maybe possibly the worst idea of the 20th century. Yeah.

Well, we're in a new century now, so this one will bear out the plenty of time. We'll have that award for the next 100 years. That's plenty of time for, you know, for us to up our game in the 21st century. Josh, how you doing? I'm great, man. So I saw you on Twitter because you said you'd perform at any place that stays open. Yes. During lockdown. We're open. How you got to that? Yeah, we're open. Well, I just, you know, I don't know if you're familiar with my show. I did a show for Food Network called ginormous food and

we traveled the country and visited a bunch of mom and pop restaurants that made crazy dishes and, you know, these massive burgers and things like that, but met a lot of really awesome entrepreneurs and they're all getting fucking cream right now. And so everybody's got kick starters, everybody's got some kind of fundraising thing. And every time I've talked to these people, I go, why don't you just fucking open? Why don't you just open? And so I've had some conversations with people

about the legalities of that, but I wanted to kind of throw down the gauntlet and say, listen, if anybody wants to defy their lockdown order, and are worried about being able to draw a crowd and get people in and make money, then I'll help do it in any way I can. Why don't they open? What is the penalty?

It's different in every case. I mean, some of them get fined. I mean, some people have had the police show up and actually like changed the locks on their doors. And, you know, like, you guys saw that, right? Yeah. I mean, that was in Canada, but I mean, I've heard of that happening at restaurants here and in the States as well.

And, you know, it's just, I think they don't, it's this weird thing. It's kind of like, why did everybody stay home when they told you to stay home? Why is everybody wearing a mask when they tell you to wear a mask? I mean, people just have this sort of, this willingness to go along with the, what they're told. They don't question things. And they love it.

We have a government now that's like that. It's reflective of the fact that we just don't question what we're told. And, you know, here we are. Women I've noticed are fucking terrified to leave the house. I know. They will not come over for any reason. I think it's not leave the house. Those people, comic friends, that like literally have not left their home in nine months.

No, I know. They're like, I'm venturing out to get groceries today. I mean, they're like Nick Swartz and Benchwormers. They scream at the sun. No, it's, it's, yeah, it's great. No, I have noticed that the women are, they really are there. It's like, they think that if they catch it, they're, they're dead. They're just, yeah, it's like, yeah. But you know who does leave the house right now? Skanks. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They definitely leave the house. They're far out. How do you get, do you have a girlfriend? No, I do. Yeah. I've had the same one for nine years. Yeah, I can't get her to leave the house enough. So yeah, that happens too. Yeah. I'm like, you should go do some, make some friends.

So I'm the virus is fine. I won't get you anywhere. Don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure we had it at least twice. We were really, really sick a year ago. And it was before anybody knew what any of this shit was. We were sick for 12 weeks. And it was just like flu-like symptoms, no energy,

like to the point where you're sleeping 13 hours a day. And then, we came out of it, and then one my brother passed away in May, my mom flew out to kind of make the arrangements, and then came back. No, no, just no alcoholism. But still the undefeated champion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But no, but he's scheduled a die next week. I got an appointment. I'm feeling it. That's every day. I'll have some days I'll make them like, oh fuck, I really gotta stop. Yeah, it's a bad feeling. Yeah, and by the way, like nobody ever talks about the fact

that when you're one of two children and one of them dies, then there's a lot of pressure on you to stay alive. Point why not need any extra pressure on that? Cause I like to eat. But no, yeah, it's amazing to me how many people are just terrified of what ifs. And then again, oh, as good as starting to say, she came back, my mom came back from flying,

and we all got sick again for about a week. And that was the only time, do we had any of the symptoms, like loss of taste, loss of smell, that type of thing? So you've had that. Yeah, but it was like, so you may have, it's possible you got it twice. It's possible twice.

It's probably twice. Yeah, that's very common too, yeah. Yeah, so that was like, not always, but yeah, that's a, that's a big one. Yeah, that was May or June, but all those symptoms are gone in a week. And you know, if you have it twice, it's much less likely to be severe the second time.

Yeah, which is why I believe we'd probably. Generally. Yeah, wow. You know, despite all the vitamins I'm taking, yeah, it is probably start selling now. It's even fucking crazy that the people who've had it still have to live and lock down. Like that was my girlfriend had and like, well, why do you have,

well, you can't go anywhere. Well, it's like you're invincible. I mean, that would be my favorite thing to do if I'm in the grocery store and your mask is off. And so he's like, what do you do? And you're like, it's fine. I've already had it. And they're just like, what you got it again. I mean, that would be my favorite thing to do if I'm in the grocery store and your mask is off. So he's like, what do you do? And you're like, it's fine. I've already had it.

But you got it again. Now there's like, you're basically vaccinated. Like having it is the same is going to be the same as fact as the vaccine. The one thing is you got you got it again. So you didn't have the right or the antibody's either went away or because you got it twice. How long did that happened with a vaccine? I don't need depends on the type of vaccine, I think. Oh, God.

Well, the vaccines that they're administering aren't even like traditional vaccines, right? No, mRNA. mRNA. Well, there's other ones too, though. Yeah. They're like steroids for your immune system, but you're not getting a taste of the virus, which is really what you need. It seems, it's just like you're some of the ones

that are, there are, but like, when you get hit, when there's like four or five different ones that are already, and you're flickering, and you can't get tuss for a minute, like that should be, you should get like the flickering immunity for society after you get it. You got like three weeks of flickering where you can just go around and do whatever you want,

like, to our next- Los Angeles. Everybody's out here swapping AIDS. Like it's nothing since the 80s. And now everyone's afraid of coronavirus. That's why all my gay friends are like, I'm not wearing a mask. You kidding me? I haven't worn condoms in 30 years.

I'm gonna wear a mask. God. I've been with Magic Johnson. That's right exactly. I'm gonna wear a mask. Magic Johnson's not gay. You're count Seth Rogan called Count Dankula a bigot. Did you see?

I didn't see that. Really? How does he not have him on the show or know about? These fucking comedians, these big comedy are so jealous that guys like Count Dankula are actually loved and have huge fan bases in their thing. I love Count Dankula. I love Count Daniela. They're so bitter like the guys the guys who are in those in big movies like Seth Rogan are so fucking bitter that guys like

Count Daniela are loved by men and come and funny men and the guys like Seth Rogan are just like figureheads. What do you talk? What do you say? I'm so fucking tired. I'm thinking Joe Rogan. No, I'm like Joe Rogan wouldn't fucking. This is a bit of a Jews. That makes me never talk about the Jews. Yeah. Are you a Jewish person? He said, no, I am not. South Rogan is fucking insufferable.

He's horrible. This is what he says to Count Daniela. Then you're either someone who is not funny has astoundingly bad judgment or most likely both. This is, they're still talking about the fucking pug video. That stupid gas the Jews pug video that Dankela made still to just still to piss his girlfriend off. You can't nobody with any kind of sense of humor or just thought can think that he's that he's serious about that.

It's a pug. Also, if you want to be mad at anybody, be mad at the dog training world. Yeah, he learned how to do that from somewhere. Yeah, I'm not. Caesar Milan. He taught us how to do that kind of shit. Yeah, exactly. Then you're not funny or mostly, but I have, you're not funny.

I parentheses, I work in the sphere. Oh, God. What a self-congratulatory fucking line that is. I know a thing or two about funny. Yes, yeah. And now we know, you know, these are produced by Judd Appetown. And if you have ever seen him do stand up for 10 minutes, you'd remove your own genitalia. If this breaks your country's laws in regards to hate crimes, then you're an even bigger idiot.

The fucking dog video. Did a US tour of Manchester hit 800,000 subscribers on YouTube. Lots of people seem to find me funny. Maybe I could be on your level one day by making on my jokes, dude, weed man. See, this is what I hate about. This is what I hate about. That's pretty funny. This is what I hate about established fucking people is they want to shit on everybody that

kind of comes in in these new ways. I just talked about this where I said like on my podcast, I do a show now on locals, which is like a conservative Patreon. Safe Rubens, yeah. And, and I, we talked about this on the episode of Looper as I go, it's so funny how people who get established want to close the door behind them and shit on

all the emergent platforms that people are using to make a name for themselves. So like people like Seth Rogan look at YouTubers and go look at these fucking hacks. You know, meanwhile, meanwhile somebody like Liza Koshy is making more money on YouTube than any television creator in the last 30 years. I couldn't believe how much money they're making on YouTube.

This happens in every genre, you know, every new, you know, I guess, uh, medium, yeah, medium and how you get access to it, uh, the wrecking crew, right? Very, very famous, uh, association of West Coast musicians who played on basically fucking every record made on the West Coast between 1960 and 1980 music talk. Here we go. So these guys, they were all, a lot of them, they were young kids and then some of them who weren't, didn't have a stick up their ass who were like

for like how blame was a former, you know, big band drummer, but then he would play rock and roll. All the old times like, you're wrecking the music industry. This is crap. So it's like, they got in there all of a sudden, oh, slam the door. None of you kids get to be creative. None of you, this is all garbage. They wanted to keep what's there. Well, it ends up, you know, rock and roll made a fuck ton more money than, than swing or big band or any of that shit I ever did. So people start paying attention, but it's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Once I'm in the room, I want to slam and lock the door. None of you fuckers can come in.

Well, musicians do it now too with like DJs. They're like, oh, fuckers do lap time. Yeah, DJs. It's like, yeah, but those guys make $17 million a show like. the great. Yeah, it's like, it's like, you guys have off nights. Yeah. Just put the MP3 player up there. It's fine. Yeah. I mean, fine. It's like, but, but the market dictates, right? Like, yeah, if DJs were shitty and nobody liked them, they wouldn't make $17 million a night. So just, you know, you can't dismiss it. Yeah, you can either, well, you can shit on and dismiss it all you want, but those people are

going to make their money and they're gonna find their audience. But that's what, it's disingenuous for them to just dismiss it out of hand. They have to go, there's something there. Like there's a reason, like this many people, they're connecting somehow. It's fucking weird. It's like once these guys get famous,

all they wanna do is get 25 year old girls in to try to like pretend to be their dads. And, Cole, this is my little project. Surprise, oh guess what? She's a girl. Oh wow, she's so fucking funny. Here she is in everything I ever do. Like I'm her fucking dad slash manager.

Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for doing this, thanks for getting famous and doing what you're doing. Well, it's really awesome that you're doing that. It's also kind of shitty too because like, it just annoys me when you see somebody like a Seth Rogan who's made all these sort of pothid stone or comedies made a lot of money at a very young age. Ruined a lot of lives. And then, no, but then it comes along and is like, you know, there's so comedy now that I don't think is appropriate. It's like, of course, you have fucking $250 million

in the bank. Of course, you're gonna tell everybody, don't do what I did. You're not, you, I have no objectivity. You're insulated, you're part of that, you're in a bubble. Here's, guy got his penis locked. Your cock is now, as mine now, hacker locks,

internet connected, jastity Cage, demands ransom. All right, well, if you have one of those on your dick already, you're just waiting for this to happen. Right. Yeah, right? I feel like that's what internet connected chat. What did you, yeah. Well, what do you jigsaw?

I mean, Jesus Christ, why would you even have that? Why would you make this? A hacker took control of people's internet connected Chastity Cage is in demanded a ransom to be paid in Bitcoin anything that can be half It's the other thing that can be done. He's 220 million dollars out of his Bitcoin account. Oh, isn't that great?

Yeah, that's hilarious. I see. Yeah, so that has he, I heard he is my dick slot. A ball set. What a bad day. It's so dangerous. I heard he was like through eight of his 10, you know, password reset. I don't know what, what's happened.

And then the, so the iron lock, I guess it's some old Bitcoin holder, USB holder. You put your, you need, you, you put your, you lock your private key in there and then you have a password to open up the USB device thing to get your private key out and the private key is what controls your bitcoins. And if you put in 10 passwords, it permanently encrypts the drive with no passwords so you lose everything. That alone, I don't understand why that function was ever built into that thing.

Like why would you ever need that? Once that's gone, it's gone. Why would you create need that? Once that's gone, it's gone. Why would you create something that auto melts if somebody tries it, maybe you have it as a backup or something like that? Double secret security. I'm sure he is. But he was saying he's like,

I mean, if you're, I mean, if you think about this, he was invested what, 10 years ago. And he had investing significant money in Bitcoin 10 years ago. You probably fall for a lot of dumb shit. That's true. Yeah. You're probably like, yeah, I should have a key

that itself destructs after 30 seconds. This has happened to work out. This is a main urgency that's on the computer. Of course, I need an exploding, you know, box. He's got how many, how many bitcoins does he have in there? 220 million. And 220 million. One, two, three, one, two, three.

Is that right? Oh my God, he's got 5,000 big coins. Yeah. That's a fucking thing. So he just lays awake at night trying to think of new passwords for it. Yeah. You know, he's going through further and for he's like going going up to the desert and like smoke and pay Odie, you know, having or going to, you know, see and shot just trying anything he can to dredge that up from way and the dusty files way in the back of his brain. Talking to old girlfriends, yeah, trying to see just what, what triggers a, you know, our response. Yeah.

He's probably doing, I mean, the fact that he hasn't killed himself yet means he's probably doing okay regardless. Like, I apparently he's made a lot, he's made a lot of money in, you know, Bitcoin aside from that. Oh, I hope so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just my choice. 220 million.

Well, yeah. Petty cash. Um, let me see here. Okay. So your girlfriend's at home, your girlfriend's been at home for this whole thing. Yeah. I'm going to need to work in a little bit or you're going to need tips on how to not kill each other.

And I said, I don't know how much longer we can do here. Same thing, having us, being trapped inside for. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, after nine years, I mean, I think we would have killed each other. It would have been a long time ago. Never too late. I mean, I think I'm the only one I have to worry. I'm the one with the life insurance policy. So, you know, she's, if anyone's gonna get murdered, it's me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I recently told my girlfriend that if I do choke on vomit or something after drinking

to make sure that you can do the face unlock thing for the bitcoins before they take me away. Now I regret telling her about that. Yeah. Oh, that was probably not a good idea to do. Yeah, I mean, you know, this is why I don't know how gay men are killing each other all the time because they know how to use technology. So they could get you get into all your money and your accounts and everything.

I think that's the only reason she has a killbish. She's just like, I don't even know how to change the inputs on the TV. How am I going to get the insurance money? Yeah. Let me see here. Are you excited about the troops in the Capitol? I am. Oh, yeah. Did you see all that? Yeah. The Barb's wire. Oh, a national guard with no magazine sleeping on the floor like they're going to slumber

party. Wait, you didn't know you had that was funny. No way. They were all laid out head to toe, you know, so they don't accidentally fuck while they're in the Capitol. As though they didn't have time to get caught. Wait, no, there's a picture that's been going around that's a picture taken months ago during the BLM that's not people were sharing a picture over and over about troops at the

Capitol. I mean, I don't know. That's all that steps photo. I can't remember. I was just reading about it where it's like where where it's, they're saying it's now, but it was months and months ago. I mean, the one where they're like sleeping inside. Yeah.

With their head all. Yeah, this one at the top. Do you think all these are not old pictures? No, no, no, no. I just, I wasn't sure what you were, which one you were talking about. Any of these. Yeah.

So they couldn't even get like, they're not even using their duffel bags as pillows, like you can't get, doesn't the military have fucking cuts? You can roll out a futon for these guys. I don't know. They're just sleeping on marble. They can't go sleep in the yard. Well, you know, you've never slept on marble.

It's so nice and cool. You can't paint Trump as horrendous if you don't make this look like Vietnam. I mean, I mean, it's all part of the dog and pony show, right? I mean, pretty soon they're going to start eating each other just so you know how bad it is right now. Look at this. It's also what is that statue? It literally looks like. What is that? The in guy. It looks like the chief from super friends. A patchy chief, Kim Ho-Chak. That is terrible.

This is currently in the capital, like hundreds of army guys all thrown around. The army guys who were quizzed on their voting history and said that they did not vote for Trump and they have no loyalty and they agree that white supremacy is the most important issue facing our armed armed services in America sleeping on the fucking floor. All dressed not even getting to wear pajamas like not even to getting to wear army pajamas. Hammer pajamas. Have to wear their fucking packs as though what baked Alaska is gonna break in and break in at any moment. Yeah.

And start doing spy shit. What the fuck is this that I'm looking at? That's ridiculous. I look out on a limb here and say, this is a touch over reaction. You think? I mean, but you know,

this, listen, this isn't for now. This is for the history books. So when they, when they write that Zarr Trump, you know, was putting people into trains, then they have these photos to back it up. Everybody, everybody on this side of the table, if you want to be on the photo. Yeah.

Right, if you want to be on the, guys, if you could huddle around the memorial and look like Ellis Island, that would be really great. Is that guy on his phone? Yes, this guy's on his phone. Prop to have against some bus of Lincoln. This guy, this guy is deciding to sleep with his head. He's got the idea. The stairs, but he's still wearing his commando mask.

What's that? Little padding on the back. Oh, for a little padding on the back. Can I take his hood off and put behind him? See what you guys don't realize is these guys are actually looking for a private Ryan who is the last of his family to be alive. That's Tom Hicks in the middle right there. That's why he's wearing the mask.

They've been looking for him for 70 years. Yeah. These are the grandchildren, the grandchildren of the original battalion looking for Ryan. Look at this. It looks like Alms, this looks like something out of like medieval England, like the bishops leaving church and all these poor motherfuckers. Alms for the poor. Exactly.

Yeah, this actually just looks like every bank lobby in Portland. I don't know if you guys have ever been up there, but. Yes, yes we have. We're gonna show up there. Uh, it's wild. The, the, um, the homelessness. It was, it was wild in 2005. I, when I, one of my first companies I worked for when I was a young guy.

Are you from, are you from Portland? No, I, I, I am from Philadelphia and then I lived in Minneapolis for 11 years before I came to LA. I used to be a district manager for Hollywood video and they were based out of Tiger to Oregon. Hollywood video. We had, we had meetings out there and, and you know, we had some homeless people in Minneapolis but not to the degree of Portland.

And I remember like the last night of our training, we went out downtown Portland. And there's literally it was like this, just people laying up against the wall. And just everyone out on a Friday night enjoying themselves, just stepping over bodies like, what party you guys want to go to now? It was just like, wow, you guys don't give a fuck about these people. It was, there was, when we went there, we went to Portland, like, I wonder if we could go to Portland, right? In summer, sometime. I don't think it was summer. I think it was cold. Remember it was a little rainy. It was a little rainy, but God, it was like,

it was like more homeless cityness in some parts of the city than actual buildings. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did a show in San Francisco with community and Nick Cobb back in 2015. And it was funny because like, we had this really small venue and I was like,

I wonder why people aren't buying tickets. And then we saw where we were in the fucking tenderloin and we realized like, oh, this is why people aren't buying tickets. They'll get fucking a cost and walk it into this place. Just people throwing shit at you as you walk down the street. But you know, it's, that's why we're the highest tax state. And it's obviously going to very good causes.

Yeah. Okay, let me read some comments. And then, here's this is Nijal Sand, erotic story animal facts and rage. Hey, Dic, I had a relationship with this well stacked and fairly geeky girl. She was a bit broken though,

due to snuggle snuggle at an early age that you made it weird. Fuck does that? She did her best to snuggle snuggle at an early age. That you made it weird. Fuck does that? She did her best to snuggle with who? I don't want to know. She did her best to regain her sexuality with his elegant vegan and social media addict with no sense of time or control of money.

Perfectly sounds perfectly healthy. Yeah, regardless, I managed to score with her massaging, her oiled pussy. She came and came hard. It was like a faucet had blasted off the wall. She squirted, piss all over my living room, despite the towels I had prepared. Oh my.

Well, he knew this was coming. Yeah, after that uncomfortable golden hose, she began to laugh uncontrollably like a loon. Needless to say, it was quite a mess. And yes, squirting his piss despite people claiming otherwise. Okay. It's pretty cool. You guys get the Serotic Fan Fiction. We do. A lot. I got to hold another one. Big one. Lines.

No idea. Dictacrypto profit legalized gains. Thank you for putting me on to link. It reignited my interesting crypto. Have you looked into staking DeFi is so interesting. I have been reading more and more about swaps and liquidity pools. I have just been holding for a minute, but I'm trying to take some profits now. You should also look into Jesus Christ. Yeah. Just they have a currency now. Yeah. Do you know, do you know, have any crypto news sources? Just want to say I love it when you talk about crypto and finance on the show.

We need more of it. Much respect I got to go find my dickles while it now really familiar. Are you two crypto at all? Not as much as I should be obviously because I rented apartments. Oh, you know, it's funny I had a friend who was like getting into Bitcoin and stuff back in like 2010, 2011 and I was like, ah, yeah It sounds as sensitive and then that dude's doing very well right now So yeah, you know, but I if there was like a hall of fame for fucking up investment opportunities, I would definitely be, you know, my bus would be right in the center of the main hall. What if he fucked up?

So, people only want to hear about those. You mean just not just moving on things? You know, moving on things. You know, when you want you to be Daniel's area, they're like, how much money did you lose? Yeah. Yeah. Tell me more. You how much money did you lose? Yeah. Tell me more. You can stoop it or you. I feel so much better.

I don't even have the chance to be stupid, but tell me how dumb you are. No, so it's a guy made this smart move. Because I didn't do that. All truck conservative. I didn't even move on. I didn't do anything. Yeah, in 2006, I left Hollywood video and joined a startup company called Crocs. And I was given Crocs.

Yeah, and I was given 10,000 shares, which turned into 20,000 shares valued about 1.2 million. And I pulled that stock, it gets worse. I pulled that stock because our CFO pulled out like $46 million in stock before earnings. So I was like, this shit's about to tank, which was right. But so I pulled out the most I could pull out, which is about 30%. And my buddy who worked for AT&T goes, listen, Apple's about to get into the cell phone business.

And he's like, you should take all of that crocs money and put it into Apple stock. Okay. And I go, cell phone business, they'll get demolished. And I go, how do you fucking mind? They went under as a computer company it almost 10 years ago. You want me to put it into their phone business? Yeah.

So I just took my money out and fucking bought a car and did dumb shit like a 23 year old. And had I invested that 300 grand or whatever into Apple stock, it'd be worth about six million bucks today. So you know, of course when my friend came along, he was like, you check out this Bitcoin, I was like, sounds like, you know, sounds like shit to me. I'll do it.

Yeah. Just start making every decision count. It's like the castanth of my own style. Yeah, I should really just follow the opposite of my intuition all the time. Only talk politics. I'm here to counter the emails complaining about you discussing politics. My favorite part of the show are the political discussions. Thanks. See, Franger, keep fighting the good fight. Although I'm not American, I've always enjoyed the freedom of the internet. And that

freedom is at risk of going away forever. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll keep paying 20 bucks a month. PS, if you can get that Keck spawn guy back on, maybe he can explain the blockchain. Also, I made 500 bucks from chain link. Should've bought more. I told everyone about chain link. How are you?

Well, you're on locals. Yeah. How you like it? I literally just launched it. It's cool. I like it. The thing that I like about it is that it's, it's just launched it. It's cool. I like it. The thing that I like about it is that it's just completely 360. So other contributors can produce content on your page. So they can share memes or create conversation threads and stuff like that. So it's not entirely

up to me to just constantly be feeding it. Yeah. Which is pretty cool. I mean, obviously in the beginning, you've got to feed the shit out of it because you're building it. But I mean, you know, they're pretty anything goes. And they're pretty hands on because it's early and there's not a ton of creators yet. So I have like a dedicated person I talked to once a week about growing it. Oh, that would be nice.

Yeah, it's a lot more hands on. But part of the reason why I didn't jump into Patreon, I had a Patreon for a little while, but part of the reason why I didn't want to jump into it, you know, all the way was like right after I had started it, was when the, was it Sargon of a cod thing happened? That was just like Jesus Christ. If I put a fucking episode of my podcast on here,

it's gonna get taken down. Dude, it is fucking sex. Luckily, we, I mean, we've had people come after the show and everything and Patreon, you know, knock on wood. I mean, they, they haven't, the show and everything and Patreon knock on wood. I mean, they haven't, you haven't felt like they're going to take it away, right? Yeah, always. They've only contacted, they've only talked on your head, but the only time they've ever contacted me was to warn me.

And they have locked my account once. Yeah, okay. Because this guy, this guy, Cody, what was his name? Cody Wilson. Cody Wilson, the guy. He got, he got, he got nabbed in Texas for going to a hooker who he did not know. He met on a 18 plus hooker site and she turned out to be 16 or something like that. He got busted and thrown in jail and I tweeted something about how Cody got fucked over

or something about, something about Cody. And Patreon emailed me to say that was harassment so it's talking about the kent wasn't even on their platform was on their platform was on twitter uh... it was about a public case it was some joke about the and i said let me i sent them like i don't know what the fuck you have harassment you're talking about no one knows

you're you saying i'm harassing the gun guy yeah like one of the guy that's everyone's calling a pedophile or you saying i'm harassing the victim who. Like one, the guy that's everyone's calling a pedophile, or you saying I'm harassing the victim who no one even knows. Like no one knows. It's a public fucking court case. So I emailed him back. Do you mean, I think, are you telling me that you thought the woman because his name

is Cody and that it's typically a woman's name? Do you think I'm talking ill about the woman in this situation? Is that what you're fucking never heard from him again? The restriction got on my account just got lifted. I'm like clearly that's what happens. So I almost lost $23,000 a month because of some fucking political science chick working on their compliance and germs. Figure that much.

Yeah. Second, so I'm going to the gender of Cove the Name Cody. Yeah. You're fucking kidding me. Yeah, everybody's well being hangs in the balance right now, and if you don't realize it, you're fucking retarded. And this is what I'll say. So in 2013, I was working for a company

that recruited me, it was a check caching company. And about 90 days in, everybody knew I had been a comedian, I've been a stand-up since 2006, I've released albums, had a bunch of content on the internet. Everybody that hired me knew about it, we talked about it in my interview, 90 days into the job, I find out that they're doing something content on the internet. Everybody that hired me knew about it, we talked about it in my interview, 90 days into the job, I find out that they're doing something illegal

in the company. And I- What kind of company? It was a check-hashing company. And so I find out they're doing something illegal that directly affects my market. They're not administering benefits properly in California. They recruited me under the premise

that they would pay your benefit premiums and your spouse's benefit premiums. So in California, before Universal Game Marriage was signed in, any domestic partnership was eligible to receive the same spousal healthcare benefits that a company would administer for married couples. So I come in, my job is to run California, and I find out that they're not doing it, and that they're denying domestic partnership benefit, you know, to their employees.

So I just bring it up, and I go, listen, we gotta get this fixed, we're gonna get fucking sued. A week later, they bring me into the office, and they fire me because my comedy is inappropriate. So I sue them, I sue them, and we settle out of court, right? So we win that one. But, and then I get the Food Network show in 2015,

and then that goes until 2018. So then I have this controversy in 2018, where I say something on popular on the internet, and the whole world loses its fucking line. I said straight white males become this century's N word, and I said there's no difference in the usage in how it's used used and people got very pissed Don Cheetle don Cheetle literally tweeted at mean

You gotta leap that yeah and But that was a pretty good don Cheetle. Yeah, well, it's all of them. Uh, now I'm just kidding So I always used to joke that all my black impression sound like Tracy Morgan lose lemon Yeah, but yes, so that happens. This is after the Food Network Show doesn't get renewed, right? So then a guy worked with, since I was 17, who I worked with at Sean John, which is an all black company, hires me to go work for this new company that he's working for.

And the second day I was there, they recruited me for about six months, created a position for me. The CEO or the president of the company is like, dude, get ready to move down here. Like we're going to give you this huge job, six figure a year. Like you're going to be this great cultural fit. Also, knew all about my comedy career. I had been on fucking television. I had a television show that was syndicated in 14 countries.

Multiple years, right? What was it called? ginormous food. Okay. And I like food now. Yeah. And so day two, I get called into HR and they go, a girl that doesn't even work in your department complaint about your comedy and we're firing you.

And it's like, and this is so I go, this is stuff that took place before you hired me that everybody knew about. And by the way, a lot of it is political in nature and protected by free speech. And their argument, which is the argument that everybody's making is where a private company were allowed to decide whatever we want. But this is what people understand. The crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the people don't understand the Rico laws. And this is why people don't understand what's wrong with the argument of private companies

have the right to do whatever the fuck they want. They do. But the mafia also has the right to take your store. Right. You know, be ashamed if something were to happen. Exactly. So that used to be legal until Bobby Kennedy created the Rico laws, which said creating a scenario that forces somebody

to participate in something illegal is tantamount to the crime itself. And so that's what racketeering is. So if you have companies that are going, listen, we can't tell you what religion to be, but if you're not the right one, you don't fuck work here. That's racketeering. And so you can't create a world where people have to, you have control over things that the law doesn't grant you control over with these consequences of being a private business.

And so this idea of, well, they're private, they can do whatever they want. It's like, yeah. So it's a mafia. So it's the mafia. I'm just a guy going around asking it, the saying it would be a shame. It's something that's a good idea to give me all of their money.

That's actually what they're doing. That's probably the best argument and explanation I've heard for why that's not. They don't even care. Like the people who say that they get so, they're so proud of themselves for that private. Do you remember the movie The Fur? Yeah, yeah. Just like John Rich, we'd really like for you to have a family and kids and we'll fucking kill you in the Cayman Islands.

It's like that's what your your job is gonna do in five years if this shit doesn't get taken care of. And it's gonna get there fast. Oh yeah. It's the people who are so proud of themselves for pointing out that it's a private company. Like, apparently have never heard of like the SEC or the equal or the EEOC's.

Like, well, you know, Twitter's a private company. Do you understand the restrictions that they have to abide by to be a public like to be a publicly traded company where they make all this do you even do you ever just sit and stop and think for a second how the mountain of risk of regulations and restrictions financially but the financial that are on their shoulders that they are compelled to report honestly yeah that they would not that they would rather not do that they would not that they would rather not do that they would rather not they would rather not just turn over all of their earnings four times a year to a government entity like

that that this the respecting the first amendment is wise up would be a basic ten and of that uh... you're aware that the nassdaq's requiring companies to have half of their board members be women. Yes. To be listed on the fucking exchange, where the fuck is the private business on that one? Yeah. Well, it's just like not making a cake, but they could be sued. That's the point. That's the point.

That's the bakery could be sued. That's the fucking point. That's the point. Every time you limit someone's ability to take someone else to court, you guarantee violence, you guarantee it. The only reason court exists, you think we just like having guys with gavils pretending to be up there making this is no, it's because it was the only way. The alternative is violence. Every single fucking time. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. That's right. And you guys, did you see that?

Yeah. You should not not shonja. No, no, no, no, no, no, they were actually shonja. What a crazy shonja. The least problem with my racist comedy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stories that was one we were we actually bought Sean John away from bad boy entertainment and we operated it for a bad a year bad boys diddies company right and basically Sean John is a is a tax liability for it's a write-off for bad boy sure they lose money on Sean John purposely to have you know yeah deductions and so this time we we took we had to talk we took the mistake of pulling it out it like we can actually make this profitable. Yeah, and then and then they choked off our supply chain producers making profitable. So we were like, okay, exactly. We ended up selling it and hitting it. They're selling it back to them after about a year and a half. And anyway, one of the

funniest things I was in one of the stores one time and I asked, this is like these two football players in their shopping and they're like seven foot black dudes offensive line And I'm like hey guys need help with anything and they're like what are you security? I was like no I think I you work here. I go. Yeah, I'm one of the operations managers and they go operation it you Yeah, just looked at me size me up And then and then the one black guy yells at the other black guy and he goes y'all man is to run the operations And he goes well, yeah, what should they do? Let us run it.

And I was like, that's the funny issue. Anyone is ever said. I was like, all right, well, I see where you're going with this. But that I can help you. Yeah, I was just like, well, it's not like that, but yeah, it kind of is like that. So I guess, yeah, we are here to try to fix it. No, but that's what's going to have to happen. People are going to have to start suing.

And this is what i don't understand people need to just start opening up massive cases against twitter and facebook suing them as the publishers that they are stop letting them pretend their platforms they are publishers they do not deserve the legal protections of a platform just start suing them as publishers we were talking about because i was i was uh... i worked for dot com's and the, I dropped out of college in like 99 to work in encryption and Doc Homs.

Did you? So I'm very familiar with 230. You went back. I went back. Yeah, I went back. You did graduate, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've known about 230 since they started it.

Um, I've been talking about it since day one, like as soon as Milo's, and it's like, this is why this is happening is for multiple reasons. One of the Patriots part of it, this is why this is happening. For multiple reasons, the Patriot X part of it, but a big one is 230. The guy, nobody ever talks about how it started either, which is there was two competing, I don't know if you know, this is boring, whatever. There's two competing internet service providers,

Pratigee.net, which is why I was on, you were a prodigy, yeah. I think I had it. Yeah, I think I was on. You were a prodigy, yeah. I think I had it. Yeah, I think it was pretty good. You still have an email account. I know. So I had a prodigy account on my gateway computer. Yeah.

When I transferred that email over, you should have gotten a Dell. I just called, I put prodigy in the email because that's how I knew I remembered it. Yeah. And then like 10 years later, I realized that I was giving people an email with prodigy in it, making my, making it look like I thought that I was

the prodigy. Oh, if they remember that. Oh, God, I've been doing this for how long? Right. Fix really highly of himself this guy. And I would say it like with no, no, like just completely baldness. Oh, he has prodigy this.

I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it. It was an awesome thing. And what an asshole. So, prodigy had a very curated experience when you went in there. They heavily modded, they heavily curated and edited the internet as they served it to you. Contrary wise, copy serve was Wild West.

You got the browser and you do whatever you want. Back in those days, it was like, whatever came with the software was the browser you had to use so your strategy experience was heavily heavily modified modified and curated. Yeah, both of them got sued Both of them got sued for a prodigy for restricting some company They they block some companies are like we're suing you and copies got served served sued for the opposite I think for letting you know yeah, yeah, and the judge said well the opposite, I think, for letting something through. Yeah.

And the judge said, well, prodigy is a publisher. So yeah, you're punished and can't be served. Well, I mean, that's what they do. Like they're, it's a, I forget the common carrier or something protects them because they're just passing it through. Yeah. But prodigy, so they came down on the side of the publisher. So they came down on the side of the publisher.

So this is fucking Senator who wrote 230 said, these are his words. And people like to change like, you know, Islam radical Islamist attacks bomb somebody say, I'm doing it for a lot. People say, well, you know, it's actually education. They like to change the words of the people who are committing these acts of evil. But the guy said, I looked at these things and realized that they should be switched or else There would be no incentive for people to enforce civility on the internet and it would be like the Wild West

He said specifically that he did not want the The free the Wild West the freedom of speech one to exist So he would make 230 to stop it. Yeah. This is and it was exactly what it's done. I always think that's funny and saying, yeah, well, the guy said, he said literally that he was going to do this anyway. Yeah, but you know, the cool thing is now you can give a girl $10 a month and see her asshole. It's pretty great. It doesn't stop him from taking a percentage either. They tried to recruit me on only fans when I was like browsing platforms and deciding who to go with when I ended up going with locals and they were like, we take 25% or something

ridiculous. Like that. I go, you guys are pants. 25%. That's insane. So the girl was making a 120 grand a month showing you her asshole. She's got a pimped tube. Don't believe it's all legit. We want to we want to really liberate these sex workers. Give us your fucking 25% and it'll go up. They'll just get crazy and raising it and you know it's fucking wild, man. So I started a patron alternative like right after Sargon. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I can't, I can't leave $25,000 a month in the hands of people who hate me. Or some fuck, this is the problem. It's like the person who made my, a 22 year old girl who doesn't even know what she's looking

at, comedy wise, and just goes, oh, this guy, I have to work for this guy. She didn't even have to work for me. She wasn't even in my department. She's just like, well, I can take him down, so I'm gonna. It's, what that happened to you? Yeah. Oh, yes. And that's what's gonna happen gonna. It's, uh, what that happened to you? Yeah. Oh, oh, yes, yes. And that's what's gonna happen with, you know,

Patreon, eventually, eventually some 22 year old girls gonna be responsible for monitoring accounts. And she's gonna be like, this dick guy, it's kind of a dare, I don't like it. Yeah, well, like you said, you just shed it down. People are going, but I'm one of the good guys, not to somebody else. Right.

So it's, people don't realize like, I don't know why they do this, but guys, guys get, guys get stuck explaining shit to people. And they, they really love to explain that jokes and hates, like, well, it's a joke. It's not hate speech. Right. But they don't realize, like, look, to someone with no sense of humor, those are identical. And they don't have the ability to tell them apart.

So you have to, you have to defend them. You have to defend the hate speech. I'm still not okay with that. I still think it's like, it's not a joke. No, it's like, no, but there are some, I can't wrap my head around the fact that some people just do not have a sense of humor. No, they don't get it.

They don't get it. It's really weird. Go on a first date. Load up Tinder, you. Yeah, man, it's right away. Go to a first date and try to joke your ass off with your god. It's, yeah, I'm not with my girlfriend for nine years because she's so wonderful.

It's mostly 90% because everyone else sucks so much. So like you find somebody you go, listen, you're tolerable. And the rest of the world is fucking atrocious. I really don't want to be single again. That's like you're fucking a match. It is. I really don't want to be single again. That's like curvilic. You fucking imagine? I miss her, you know. So that's like every time I see like a serial killer, you know, went out, started killing 38 women.

And I go, yeah, you're probably a lovely wife for 20 years, she died. And then he was hit with the tsunami of reality of how everyone else is and was like, these, I'm doing the world a favor. Some of these women have to go for the betterment of society. I get it. I totally get it.

My girlfriends are even trying to get friends over and they just, it's like, Oh yeah, you can't do. Like the day of like asking, well, do you have a negative COVID test? I'm like the guys are dealing with this shit now. Just absolutely insane, like Metallica level writers for going out on a first fucking day, so I can convince you to touch my penis. It's insane. And we've

live in this time of massive hypergamy, right? I mean, women have a roll of decks of the entire world on their phone. That's the other thing. You have a girlfriend for how long have you guys been together? Five years. Yeah, I mean, you have somebody for more than five years, like count your blessings because they literally have a lot for how long have you guys been together? Five years. Yeah, I mean, you have somebody for more than five years, like count your blessings because they literally have a lot, 10 million lifelines. I'm like, yeah, I play for the NBA. You want to live here? It's like that's literally what it is.

Yeah. That did sound like Tracy Morgan. Yeah, they all, that's all my impersonation. It's just that's the only one I can do. Her little dawn cheetle too. What are we talking about? Oh, yes, Sargon. So I made this Patreon all thinking, well, I got to get people, like, I know PayPal

will probably be in me, like, you just can't trust anybody, right? You have no recourse if you get fucked over. So I made a Patreon all, that's the worst. And then you put it on. I don't know if you spend more for that reason. Venmo pulled my rent twice out of a transfer and didn't refund it back. And I was like, all right, I'll see you guys in court. Like, just like, that's what I'm doing with this year.

Yeah. Suming you for an amount of money. I know, great spend in my fucking time. Right. It really, there's so many. You always lose. I've literally been in some kind of lawsuit since 2013. Yeah.

Literally like for something. And, you know, it's just like, just because people don't do the right thing. Yeah. It's like, just do the right thing. I'll keep doing business with you. Just do nothing. Do me a favor, look at the report and just hit resolved. I don't do anything with it.

I'm sane. So I built this Patreon all. And the other goal, a goal that I talk about much was doing it for basically free. Like Patreon takes, they took at the time, 5%, I think they're up to taking 10% now, like if you open a new account. Well, are they that high?

Well, yes, because they're, so the venture capitalists that dumped money into the system, demand geometric, like they demand a certain level of growth that could never be supported on a platform. Like Patreon. That's the same thing Netflix is going through. Everybody goes Netflix isn't profitable,

it was yeah, it will be when you're paying $65 a month for it, which you will eventually. Yeah. What we'll do is we'll choke out all of the competition. We'll be a loss leader for 10 years, and then we'll just raise the price and everyone will be forced to pay it. And the federal keep buying our stock because it's listed. So my second goal was just to make it as cheap as cheap as you could possibly make it to run servers because these guys provide nothing like only fans, Patreon.

We've never even a rep from Patreon has never even said hello. We've made them probably 1.5 million. I mean, they would go to your time there. Yeah, five years there. We were really early. I talked about it all the fucking time. With this show, this show is probably responsible for making them, God, half a million dollars. I mean, with all the accounts that signed up, a stereosis account, all the people who just signed up to use the platform, never even, not even a

fucking Christmas card. Not even a virtual Christmas card. I wanted to do it for free, just to fuck them over. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, you guys can't compete with nothing. Yeah, I can't compete with. Because you're a percentage. Yeah.

But it's like, we're gonna shut it down. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's like having a rake free card game. Of course you're gonna get all the gamblers in town at your place. Yeah. There's no rake. Yeah. It's like having a rake free card game. Of course you're going to get every all the gamblers in town at your place. Yeah. Rake. Yeah. But there's always a fucking rake. Oh God. All right. What were we talking about? I forget.

We were in a lot of fiction. And then we got to want to hear an erotic fan of an erotic fan. Yeah. I mean, I get erotic story. This is a. Let me see if I can. He said that like our dicks have been soft now for 20 minutes. I'm to pep them up again. It's a good it's because these are usually horrifying. Oh, yeah. The dick shot of the way.

Yeah. No, nothing is ever. No worries for real. Nothing is ever what it seems around here. I did some rec sexton. Hey, Dick, you read my previous erotic story that almost made you and Sean Barf about the time I matched with a hairy armpit girl on Tinder and ended up banging her while her cuck husband watched.

And then we all hit the bong on episode 126. During the story, you also mentioned, for the first time, finding the dude with the saline-filled balls. Oh. Also, it was also the Christ, Christ the Kiwis debut, legendary episode. How about that?

Have you ever wanted to fill your balls with saline? Josh? I've only ever wanted to empty my balls. I've never thought about like, what could I put back in there? You should give it a give it a give it a think. Yeah. Yeah. So it's pretty impressive. Oh, yeah. You get a doesn't make a needle very smooth. It's like a mango. Yeah. You can get them huge, but you know, I think a mangoes. I had crossed the tightest a couple years ago and I had to get the old swab down the penis hole. And that was that was paying, have you ever had that?

No. Oh yeah, no. So you can get, this is a funny story. You generally the way people get prostitutitis is through anal sex, which is my doctor was very clear on explaining to me. She goes, oh, you prostate infection. And she goes, have you been, do you engage in homosex? She said, she's, she's a DO.

So there are a little more loose. She goes, you've been, you homosexual, you've been taking it. And I go, no, I have, she goes, I'm a doctor. You can be honest with me. You tell me. And I was like, absolutely not. She goes, well, the only way that you could potentially get this kind of prostate infection

without engaging in anal sex is if you held a dump on a flight or something for seven hours across country. and I go, I do that twice a week. Yeah. And she's like, oh, well, that's why you have a prostate. I hate it. You feel like I'm in control. Yeah. So don't hold your shits for that long and you won't get a prostate infection.

But the, yes. So the swap down the p hole. Why do they have to do that? It's like, I don't know. They hate you. I don't know. I mean, what does your they have to do that? It's like, I don't know, they hate you. I don't know. I don't know. What does your dick have to do with your prostate? Oh, no, because the symptoms are the same

as if you have chlamydia or gonorrhea. So they do it first, they do a swab to make sure you don't have a STD. And then that's how they rule it out and they go, you have a prostate infection. Well, they must have had all kinds of ideas about you. Yeah, and they brought it, yeah. Yeah, they, they, they, Well, they must have had all kinds of ideas about you. Yeah, and they brought it, yeah. Yeah, this guy's fucking dick is practically dripping.

He's taking the ass like five times a day. What do you do, shit? Are you host to show the food networks? She's like, we got another one of these culinary TV gaze in here. She's like, we had James Corden in last week, same problem. Uh, I'm also the dude who left the gonorrhea eye voice mail. Anyway, I have another tale.

And because... It's really gross. Guy. Gross so. I have another tale. Drippy. And because I know y'all will ask, yes, this is 100% true. I think I often find myself in these odd scenarios because my standards are very low.

My tender thumbs are very quick. And it heartens me that someone other than the idiots in my outcast of sobriety group chat may find this amusing. Everyone has fantasies. You guys sober doing these things? I guess. Oh yeah, when you don't drink sobering crazy, man, you you find ways to cure the boredom that are do you not drink or do you? Yeah, no, when you get outside the bound, either quickly. There's two fucking sober people on this show. This show is a mess. Yeah.

It's really gone downhill. Everyone has fantasies of getting laid on vacation out of a false sense of optimism that the thousands of women in a new city haven't had the chance to swipe left on you yet. I feel lucky enough if I had a vacation. Yeah, right. No, shit. It's like, I need, I need, he's like, I need to get laid on a vacation.

I go vacation. Dude, we went to Florida, what was last, you did it, you getting in the month last, it was last month, right? Yeah, I was in December. Just felt like another, it's like another world. Yeah. Like, COVID doesn't exist.

Like, my brain was like untangling. It's like back, it's like, you literally, it's like when you're at a post-apocalyptic world and then you just show up and, yeah. To a town and it's, they're just like, what do you mean, everything's gone? It's like, they're just like, what do you mean everything's gone? It's like they don't even know what's going on outside. It feels like Westworld.

Yeah. What is this? This is simulation that you guys have here. I can't watch TV or movies anymore because they're not wearing masks. It's just too annoying to me. Really? That's strange.

I can't. Watching a movie, I'm like, I just can't see people interact without fucking masks. Have you watched any shows where they are? No. Like shame was this whole season. They're all masked up for the whole season. I know that show is still going. Yeah, it should have ended years ago. When she redid the laundromat and all the like friends came into help, that was enough. That was it for me. You were done. Yeah. Community togetherness. Just soures your stomach. This is it. I get it. Let me street now.

We watched this show back when Emmy Rossum was fucking everyone she met on the show. Yeah, I want to see her turn it around. Yeah, I know. I don't think so. I watched that show. I watched that show when I like when

it first came out. And I like I've watched it periodically. I probably should start from the beginning. It's one of the many shows I probably should watch, but I watched your life like that. I watched it. I watched it. And afterwards I was like, oh man,

this show hits a little close to home. I was like, I recognize a lot of this. Uh, which one are you? I don't know which one, which one I am. The game one. I don't know the, yes, very, very gay one. Yeah. And typically a few hours after arrival, you're laying on your bed and you're shriveled

dick in one hand and your phone and the other thinking, how well there goes that. But luckily for me, after traveling to an artsy liberal town in the Southwest and drinking half a handle of Svetka and Diet Coke, oh God, vodka, Diet Coke. I have never found in the Southwest. He's done Austin. No, that's probably Tucson. Tucson. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I had matched with one hippie who was at least providing me with the banter I rely on. Full disclosure, I'm a slightly above average looking dude, but not by much. I was described as fat Mackelmore in my college days, but grew my hair out. Maclamore?

Yeah. So now I look like the blonde Jesus in the soap commercials on YouTube that I'm sure will target the rest of the decals as well. I don't know anything about the blonde Jesus and soap commercials. Most chicks are reluctant to hook up with travelers. At least the ones who are as ugly as me are worse,

but I justified my presence by telling her it was my birthday. It was not. I offered to take her out to dinner so I could have a little company on this special occasion. And all she had to do was pick me up. She agreed. I could hear her shitty 1997 Toyota Tacoma falling apart

on the dirt road to my Airbnb when she was still 20 minutes away. Can you believe Airbnb is canceling people's reservations? They're like canceling all of D, of Washington DC's reservations. Just flat out, because they don't want anybody at the inauguration, messing it up, I guess.

Yeah, Tim Dylan's about to go to war with Airbnb. They took him down because I think he texted a lady he stayed with that he was going to cut her fucking head off. I don't know. I don't know. It's a joke. Okay, we come on. If you can't tell a host that you might show up and cut their fucking head off and they're like, we got kind of business.

See you're running. Yeah. Kind of world. Kind of world. I know a guy in DC. It's not in their terms of service directly. Yeah. Right.

He's, his garage is blocked off, is barricaded. Cause it's part of the, whatever they're rolling out, all the concrete. It's just sad, and Islamic. It's a term of endearment. And he's, he can leave, but he can't go get, he can't go grocery shopping. He can't get his car out.

Oh, God. And they can't make deliveries, he says, because they don't live like they check you. They check your papers coming into DC now to see if you live there. So he's just gonna eat poop, I guess, start growing it. No, okay. I guess smell are not long after.

She was cute and adirt bag sort of way, but her hair was matted. Like she just finished trying to domesticate a family of bobcats. Can I use your shower? It's been a while since I've taken a real one. Yeah, no problem. Be my guest. I said, okay.

She did most of the talking during the meal, which was for the best because I would just be slurring epithets anyway. She told me that for the past summer, she had worked as a host in some off-beaten campground side and showed me pictures of the converted half-air stream, half-aboriginal hut that she lived in. Admittedly, it was kind of cool. That's some heaven's gate shit, I said. Definitely, Tucson. I think we just established that. I can deep-throat her voice dropped to, whisper, I'll try to gag on your cock if you want, but by the time we got back to her dwelling

and drank all of her liquor, the whiskey dick was too fierce and fighting off the spins, I reassured her. I just put in double duty tomorrow. Oh man. They really got a normalized whiskey dick, you know? Guys should stop. I don't have to apologize for that.

When did that become the thing, by the way? What? I mean, it sounds like they just met. And she's like, I'll gag on your cock if you want. How about a good night kiss, all right? And some hand stuff. And then we can progress tomorrow. This is why people can't stay together.

They just think how about gagging on your cock. No traditional hand job. I'm just trying to gag on your cock. How about promises? Yeah, exactly. Just like also, what a lack of confidence. I'm concerned about today's women. You know, just I'll try.

I don't know. I don't know if I can or not. You know, I have. That's how much I like cock. Yeah. I can't even gag on it if I try. I mean, it's like breathing. It's like running danger.

Now you're teaching me to jog on a new level. I've lost all cock feeling in my upper head region. I couldn't even gag if I tried. Oh, Jesus Christ. In the next morning, after being awakened by the sun shining through the myriad of cracks in her thatched roof, oh, she was really in a little hut. Yeah.

She made us breakfast of toast to Hashbound and Egg straight from the chicken coop in the yard. We ate chugged a couple of PBRs and she went for my boxers. Gweck, Gweck, Gweck, you like that? Oh yes, baby, Gweck, Gweck, Gweck, Gweck. What the fuck is that? Oh, is that the sound effects?

That's inappropriate. Egg yolk and last night's Tetrazini were running down my shaft and oh, she tried to deep throw them in. And pooling in my lap. Oh my god. The bile was hot and tingly and her hair was drooping in it. Oh my God. She grabbed her pajama pants and started mopping me up, definitely missing a few strands of fried potato. Oh, dude, I'm wearing a scarting air sleepwear on the floor and popping my

still mostly green dick back in her mouth. Oh, and going at it, relishing in the flavors of bulimia. Dude, the flavors of bulimia? Yeah. It sounds like a band. Okay, just concentrate on coming and then getting the fuck outta here, I kept reassuring myself.

Busting a nut when you're only at half mast is a Herculian effort that's underwhelming for both parties regardless. But with gravity of yourself a stroke. Yeah, like Elvis. But with gravity dangerously shoving the regurgitation further down into my p-hole, I knew I had to make an effort.

Eventually, I managed to release five or six ropes into her mouth and feel the wave of post-nut clarity and regret. She too collapsed on the bed after making a big exaggerated production of swallowing my load. Exhausted, I leaned across, I leaned, exhausted, I leaned and reached across her to grab my clothes. Burp, weather out of happenstance or puer malice. Oh my god. This bitch expels a huge belt, not six inches from my face. Oh my god. I'm

going to guess that statistically I'm one of the few persons in the world to bear witness to the cornucopia of odors manifested from a tongue marinating in Jiz, cock, puke, eggs, morning breath and beer. To this day, I'm worried that just knowing women are capable of such olifactory assault as rendering me gay. If I'm able to maintain presence of mind the next three seconds to punch out the squirrel's plywood and tin foil being used as a makeshift window and stick enough of my head out in time that most of my own barf lands outside in the bushes

But about 20% has managed to splash onto my upper torso and arms This guy is a fucking dirtbag You know we had multiple Mormons riding in last week arguing about the, yeah, they're faking some fucking animals, dude. These chicks are fucking animals. Guys, telling us about the boulder. I love this shit. Now here I stand in a hippie's hovel, but Asnick get hung over and about to cry, painted

and sweat sex juices and two different blends of throw up Can I go rinse off I asked Sorry, but remember I don't have a shower. Yeah, why do you think I used yours? Yes, Rick's Rex sex than his name To know what stories That's dating wants you yep That's what are dating in the Southwest. There you go. All right. What time is Jesus Christ?

So, 50, did I tell anybody to call in? Josh, do you have any tips for virgins? Is that something you do? Sure, tips for virgins. Yeah. Stay as long as you can. Stay as long as you can. Did you not get enough of a warning from that last experience?

Oh, cripple Jesus, you want it? Yeah, I did tell you to call in. Okay, and then we're gonna do some advice and then maybe some voice mails and then get the hell out of here. Cripple Jesus, what do you want? What did I tell you to call in for? Hey, I got that feminist theory email that I sent to you.

I wanted to tell the story behind it. Okay, let me read the email first. Where'd you send it? I sent it to you on Twitter, but I can post it in the Discord. Yeah, post it in the Discord. So, just so our guest knows, cripple Jesus is in a wheelchair and is not a virgin.

Oh, nice. You heard that everywhere? Don't you have no excuse? Dear feminist theory students. and is not a virgin. Oh, nice. Yeah. You heard that everywhere? Yes. You have no excuse. Dear feminist theory students. So you're in, what do you, sophomore in college? I, I'm technically junior, but I changed my major, so I got pushed back a year. Okay.

Dear feminist theory students, this is a cl- you're in feminist theory? Well, in my college, I talked to Maxwell about this is a clout you're in feminist theory well you and my college i talked to max well about this quite a bit my college is one of the only colleges and the state of michigan where you have to take liberal bullshit classic uh... they're making you do this college is making you take feminist theory yet they call it humanity That's how they sell it.

Your professor isn't calling it humanities in this email. Do they take out the MAN and humanities? You woman of these? Yeah. Do you want to call it broad studies back in the day? Dear feminist theory students, as I mentioned to you in our live meeting today, my goal is to create a safe space to discuss and learn about oppression, particularly the oppression of women. I am writing to let you know that I am taking steps to ensure that class discussions are civil and respectful of women and women's issues moving forward. Okay, so why was this, what happened?

Why was this sent out? What did you do? Um, so it was the first day of class. So she did the thing where you explain why you're here. And they saved the best for last obvious way. They didn't get to me until the last five minutes. So I really couldn't get into it. But um, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, wait a minute. This is a class about female oppression, and they've got a bunch of, I'm assuming, white, 20-year-old young women in college, and they're saving the discussion about oppression for the guy who's in a motorized wheelchair toward about the oppression of women, right? Is that what I'm, do I have this correctly,

crippled Jesus? Yeah, yeah right that's so funny and I was wasn't into this one girl and the teacher asked her how she was oppressed and she was like oh I'm in engineering and there's a lot of males in that field and I'm just sitting there looking down at my legs looking outside there's people walking their dogs and I'm like, oh gee, that sure is the shame that you have to work with males. Yeah. You really have to work with workers. Oh gee, you can just ruin all of their experiences by saying oh gee That's sure a shame that you have must must be really hard for you You're gonna wheel over like bird bird you're right in their face. Oh, I'm that's so sad that you have

You that Did you open your bottle with as someone who's also quite immersed in the world of engineering? I have an opinion. I have engine. I mean, not better. I mean, wrong. The first thing that made it, that was she was explaining what feminism was. And she said them is all about

including people of this color and even the disabled and when she said that I nodded to my head no Even the disabled I don't think so what has feminism done for the disabled differently abled? Excuse me. I don't know. Do you know, Gribble Jesus? If you want to know the truth, all it's really done is that waters people that really struggle down because now fat bitches are in the category of disabled. Well, I mean they are. Let's be honest. Fucking appropriating your, you know, culture. I would have been like, you should, you should figure out how to work alongside those men and build me some fucking legs. I don't have an Iron Man suit yet, because you're a little too timid to talk to Jim and Jeff.

Step it up. You're probably terrified of you by the way. Exactly. Jennifer just tried not to get fired and they're not making me the legs either. It's ruining everything. So, it got to me. And then finally, I nearly needed me.

And I said, I joined feminist theory because I had this a community credit and I joined MacQu't going to be a man to be credit and I joined McQuast to entertain myself because the idea that women are oppressed is pretty wild for both and especially when you say it to me, a disabled man. Oh wow. For no matter what. Really?

I wrote it them, huh? Yeah. What did they say to that? Well, the professor had her hand in her head. She looked like she was crying, like I was saying it. And most of the girls had their mouth open, but there was one cool girl in the class who did the wife. open but there was one cool girl in Laquias. Who did Laquias? Oh nice, what she looked like. You got to hook up with that girl. I should, yeah.

She's a little fat, but you know. They're all a little fat. Who's your? Who's your? Who's your? Oh. You know, I should on it, but I really do love this quiet because I've been kind of really depressed about the home lockdown situation as a way.

In this class, it's just, there's like an endless, there's an endless set of possibilities for a comedy. Yeah, I don't like. This quiet said, made me happy. We're supposed to do a book report, and I've already decided to do it and men are better than women. So, brilliant. That's my point.

Where do you get to chapter three of the systemic racism of menstruation? I agree with you. I read part of God. What was one of the, it was one of the race, it was one of those race hustle books that they were hawking over the summer. So you find yourself a white man.

Yeah, weird. It's all just anic do when you're white. It's all just anic-do when you're white. It's all anecdotes of like the normal things that happen to everyone, but then it's like this was racism. Yeah, the logic of what's racist is like how they determine witches and money Python, right? It really is. Yeah, that's it all. So he's a man, and is he? Any floats? He is racist. Yeah. But it was fun. It was fun reading it. I get it's hard to explain why. It didn. He is. But it was fun. It was fun reading it.

I get it's hard to explain why it didn't really make me hate it. And it's like, yeah, this is great. More of this, please. White fragility book. Sign me up. Give it to me. Give it to me. They're great.

They're hilarious. And I think it's because. Asked me. I don't even think I went that hard on them. And if she asked to send out a quiet class wide email over that comment that I said, she'd really gonna hate my writing. Oh, yeah. You could put her into retirement.

What are the steps that she's gonna take to make it a safe space? She's gonna shut your chair off during the like remotely, during the meeting? She said, what are the steps? I'm the cause of the meeting going private now. The first thing I did when I got the class email with the link in it is I gave it to Kimball. is I gave it to Kimball, because I was like, man, man, you gotta help me with this man, you gotta at least record me in here, because this is gonna be a self-money. And yeah, she made the Zoom private,

so I'm already causing a lot of work for everyone else in the class. You know what, I, you know what, his life is hard. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's harder than, it's harder than yours and mine. Yeah. Well, yours, yeah. I don't know about mine. Mine's pretty rough. Yeah.

I don't like to say that my life is hard. No, but everybody else's should be when they're around him. When I have women lecturing me about how real oppression is. They're being talked over every once in a while. I really like to harp on the, oh, life sucks is a cripple card because it's ridiculous to have to sit there and wish him to that. I just love that you can get up.

It's not like I can get up and walk away from the meetings. You should do a book of stairs for your book report on a pre or like a bunch of chicks like a little one and adds like a bunch of yoga advertisements on the escalators. I just love that he has the ability to just make everybody's life around him difficult. Yeah, whenever he wants. That was where I was getting to. Don't turn that on me, please. Hey, while you're telling me how hard it is to be a woman, could you push me over there?

That's really the real tool. You could just get me from point A to point B, that would be great. I think I love hearing about their struggles so much because they're clearly like trapped in hell, their own minds. This living, this insane persecution complex, performative victimhood that these fenced women put on. It's a generation with no war. So they got to find it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, you're more miserable than I could ever make you. That was great. Give me

tell me more about how your life is just horrible. I couldn't imagine. It ruins celebrity women for you. Like back in the day, you could just look at them in magazines and go, wow, and now when you hear their thoughts, you're like, oh, yeah. Jesus. Yeah, yeah, it really is.

It's like, oh, it's just ruins it. Hey, how's your mom's boyfriend doing? Is he still around? He's still stupid at that. Making soundcloud beats in my basement. That's too bad. You know what? If you asked me, Josh, describe Michigan for us, I would have said everything you just

said over the last 30 minutes. Oh, yeah. The problem with, the problem with that guy is he watches eight mile like it's the Godfather He watches eight mile that's the Godfather Oh your mom's happy if I have to hear if I have to hear who's yourself one more time, I'm smashing the fucking TV. I will crawl downstairs and I will smash the fucking TV if I have to hear that song one more time. Oh, fucking awesome. Well, sorry that you have to, sorry that you have to tolerate that for your

life. I had a rage real quick. Okay go ahead. No, you guys have time for that. But my rage is fat people in this pandemic pretending that they care about their health. Oh yeah. All this other. So I got a call from the guy that runs the vocal poker game. I went to yeah, and he told me that people are concerned that I'm not wearing a mask That's great He asked me to wear one and it's he wouldn't save a guy's name, but as soon as he said that, I knew who it was. Let's just call him Lardass.

Okay. They don't want to get the real name. Okay. So Lardass at the table is the only guy, there's about 12 people at the scan. And Lardass is the only guy at the table giving me shit for not wearing a mask. So I already knew it with him and he doesn't get you don't give a shit about your health if your BMI is the area coat. God. And then this guy, we don't want to die before my time. It's, it's literally a highway.

It's a higher likelihood that you're fucking trogan of barna, on a barnut in the middle of the game. And that's how you'll die. Oh, God. Just stay home, you fuck. I also don't like all these people clutching to staying alive. Like they have so much to live for. Yeah.

I just, in my notebook right now, like joke concepts for when comedy comes back, there's like two whole pages on like, what the fuck is everybody staying alive for? Yeah. Like I was, I binge that during the lockdown, I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. I binge that. during the lockdown I didn't have 13 reasons why and it's about all these reasons this girl in high school committed suicide

Yeah, I was like I can't think of six reasons to stay alive Every it's like everyone's like you know you're rolling the dice when you leave the house without a mask I go I fucking hope so It's really like I do is anyway to get some loaded dice. I would love to not wake up I tell my girlfriend I'll just like you know way I could get some loaded dice? I would love to not wake up. So tell my girlfriend, I'll just say, oh, you know, I guess God, I wish. Yeah. I'm going to be so lucky. I mean, I should be so lucky.

Yeah. They go, what if you die and there's nothing? That's even better. I don't know. I'm planning on it. Yeah. What do I want after life? Yeah. What do I want to do is be some astral projection over my body and watch a bunch of women

be indecisive about how to do stuff. Why'd you get overcharged? Yeah, just so you don't fucking pay for the limo. Do not pay for the bomb. Yeah, exactly. So do we get an ambulance? I'm already fucking dead.

You're wasting the money. Just throw me in the garbage. Yes. Throw me on the freeway. Fuck up. I had a bad day. Fuck up everyone else's day. Exactly.

That's all I want. They'll have a story. Yeah. Drop me off one of those bridges downtown on a women's march. Please everybody in the will. Just follow my wishes. Trust me of like Ruth Bada Gondzberg and throw me out of pussy. I have my eyes. I want to be launched into something. Everybody really, all of the edge lords really walked their, Everybody really, all of the edge lords really walked their, really walked their, disdain for life back at the start of the pandemic. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're over overpopulated people. These people are fucking stupid and breeders. Hey, there's a disease out there. Lock it down. We got it. We can't

look at it. If you're what edge lords, play by your own rules, please. Yeah. These are the same people. My buddy used to do this all the time. They used to sell pot out of their house in Philly. And he goes, my favorite thing to do is when you got a guy over who's talking a lot of shit is to just put a gun on the table and see how quickly you fucking changes his team. It's just the funnest thing ever because then you find out who's really full of shit and who's really cool. It's like, it's just that, it's that analogy. It's like, it's just, it's that analogy.

It's like people like, yeah, we fucking, I don't care. I don't care about anything. And then meanwhile, they're just two masks on at the same time. You know, the cloth ones don't even work. You're gonna get you in the night. The world. It's so stupid. And my grandma's, right?

My grandma's are the type of boomers that just watch the propaganda machine on And as they think this whole thing is real and they're like oh you got to wear a mask or Your help that's gonna get really bad and I'm like I'm talking to it. This is half, that's my score for it. I already half dead. Half of my body doesn't work. And you're worried about my help. I'm all, God tried to kill me.

And he failed. He made it. I'll be quiet. Yeah, he's probably, he'll probably lived to 100. Uh, yeah. All this, like all this anti-suicide posters that they have up, like now you're, I mean, those didn't work. So why are you thinking we even want to wear masks?

Seriously. You know what I like to do when I see somebody post like, this is big on Instagram, women will be like, I don't care what you're going through or whatever. If you need to talk to somebody, you call me. I call them. I don't know. I don't know.

I just call, yeah, I'm going right for the shower. I'm keeping a one for three and a half hours. Listen, I don't know. I don't know. I just call. Yeah, I'm going right for the shower. I'm keeping a one for three and a half hours. Listen, I don't know. I don't know if I can be trusted with myself. Like, didn't we meet one time seven years ago? You said anybody. I didn't. We're about to get real close.

Okay. Was that it, crippled Jesus? I just wanted to plug another thing to okay. I felt really bad about not being able to make it to the world of age So I was talking with that I've been talking with that not me or in guy Yeah, and I decided that I'm gonna get a tattoo at the next one. Oh, all right I'm going to get a tattoo at the next one. Oh, all right. I'm going to write the people, Trus, what the design is. That's not a good idea.

Yeah. Well, there's only two rules. It can't be something that won't get me a job. Like, I'm not going to get a swastika tattooed on my way or anything like that. OK. What about on your arms. And then the other one is, is it what it's made of penises? No one could take that seriously.

People don't get jokes anymore. No. No, they'd be like, it is a symbol of hate. No, but the penises are a joke. It's a cock pinwheel. You've never seen one. And it's anti-feminist. Yeah. I mean, it's not just out there right away. Yeah. Yeah. It's not going pin wheel. What do you, you've never seen one? And a Tanty feminist. Yeah. I mean, it's not just out there right away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The way because of my body, my body is fucked up. It either has to be on my calf or on the inside of my body, my body is fucked up. It either has to be on my calf or on the inside of my arm, like, my arm. What about one that says like, if you can read this, the bitch fell off. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, no. I think that's a good one.

Fucking hilarious. That's a great one to put on a guy who's on a wheelchair. Does your mom get it? I think your mom should get one veto. Yeah, she can turn down anything if she wants to. My favorite one so far is the guy on Twitter said I should get no vague day. And like, yeah,

it's funny. That's great. Like that. That's a good one. All right. But if you have any ideas, all the dickheads out there, you can message me on Twitter, at crippledgeeless, or on PayPig.

Yeah, PayPig. Are you federated? Am I? Yeah, I am federated. I'm trying to get my dad to join. We were talking about it in the car. I'm like, you can say all the F-swares here, little hard-desired. Yeah, you can.

Yeah, you can. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. That's a big selling point to people. You can say F-slares. Yeah, but then people are like, what? Then people are like, ah, kind of got it out of my sister. Yeah, it really is. It really is just there because everyone throws such a fit. Like what do you send emails with a bunch of F slurs in it? Like to, and and when's the last time you done that? We're not supposed to do that. All right, bye. Bye. See you. Thank you for calling. Yeah. God, he's hilarious. Yes, fucking future federated servers. No, no more centralization.

Yeah. I hate to say it, but I think locals will eventually get taken down. Well, I think they're working behind the scenes to try to shuffle those deck chairs. It took me down. They'll get minds. They got parlor.

Yeah. The only way to stop that, in my opinion, is to have federated servers that communicate using a social media, a social protocol. And these things, this already exists. This doesn't have to be made. Right. I installed one at paypig.org and verified.a, verified as fuck. I'm trying to get big guys over because Twitter, I mean, you know, a small amount of the users are the ones putting content in,

and most like 90% of the people using Twitter are just their consuming content, like they don't ever post. So moving, and they have so many restrictions on the creators, they just use big people for advertising, you know. So I'm trying to get people to move. Three million impressions a month on Twitter. Yeah. And I'm not invited to advertise on Twitter. It's insane. Yeah, it's insane. I wonder if that has anything to do with my views.

By the way, were you on parlor at all? I was pretty, I put no time into it whatsoever. I was really more of a passive user on parlor because I like how quickly that descended into just the extreme extreme right. Yeah. It was great. It was like, I was like, Lynn Wood talking about Mike Pence getting executed. Oh, I mean, it's fantastic.

Oh, it's fantastic. I mean, it's really like, it's, I like any of the extreme porn. Just like crippled Jesus was talking about liking being in the feminist class because it gives you some insight into that crazy Yeah, side of things. I mean, I just watching parlor people go it's completely open I can't wait and then they see like Three we it's like that scene and this is the end a Seth Rogan movie to tie it all back together with Danny Brides gone for like a day and he's already got like a cabal of fucking yeah

Flash-eating cannibals. It is like that's literally what parlor have. But it's like, well, we could say whatever we want. We could come back a week later and the guy's got his own army. I can't, I always ended a little bit too, just to check it out. Like it seemed just, it was just clunky. It always crashed on my phone. It's the fucking user interface sucked. I just didn't like it.

That'll make somebody stop using something right quick. Oh, do you have a choice? I mean, you're banned from everywhere else. No, no, I know. Yeah, I got buddies on there like Gavin McKinnis and I love they're all on there and they just, you know, they've amassed huge followings very quickly and then now that's gone again.

It's gone now. It's like, yeah. Federated is the way to go. I'm trying to get big guys on it because they don't understand, you know, I'm an engineer. I understand where this going, I understand where this going, I had to fix it. The first back, right before Parlor ended, I hopped on there and saw an ad and it was for

Trump coins. Like this coin will not appreciate and value and I thought, okay, that's where, that's the ads that we're running here. This is the demo for this thing. All right. I don't know. Do you want to do advice or voicemail? Sean, Kexpon says he's got crypto.

He wants to make fun of Cantillians for crypto, but I don't know, what do you want to do? We could do that or we could do, or we could do a little advice. Little advice? Yeah. Okay, let me get Kex on real quick. I kind of like advice. You like advice?

All right, Josh, you got some good advice. Yeah, I can give some advice. Kexpony there Yeah, hey, what's up man? You want to brag about your crypto winnings this week? Can you hear me right now? Yeah, yeah, oh my god. Yes I just reminded that I shielded like $8.50 and now it's like $22 Yeah, so anyone who got a 50 and now it's like $22. So anyone who got it literally doubled their money. More than double, almost triple.

Well, what I'm saying is, it went forward and money before. Definitely got money now. I literally used to live in Portugal and don't have a job and just toss around a drinking constantly. Right now, cantians is going crazy. Blood pressure is like 190 over 120. I know Cantillians has to add up other heat timbers every day. Yeah, very small sum of money comparatively, but literally. It's just like, I've just started on the ice heart.

Do you have any tips? Crypto tips? Do you need for now? Ito tips? Be me for now. It's the same tip I'll always give you. By fucking link, because it's going to a thousand dollars. A thousand dollars? A thousand dollars end of year. That's the name. It's fucking happening. It's happening. It's happening tonight.

That's one of the good points about locals too, that is there is Bitcoin integration. So people don't need direct Bitcoin straight through. So, big, big coins are right, but it's no link. It's no link. You're having an online... You saw as a guy who was going on about... You know when I was on the last day, everyone called me a skit's afraid of going on. Oh, it's going to be the box. The beast, the wardup, economic forum. Yeah. And now, I think you know, I know going on, oh, it's going to be the box of the beast award of economic forum.

And now, I think you know, I know anyone with above 120 IQ knows, that's what I told about. The great reset, the mark of the beast. You know what's funny? So I was looking at this, they wanted to regulate crypto, like some European bank, wanted to regulate, and they said, well, you know, to stop money laundering. I'm like, okay, I mean, you guys,

you guys allow too trillion of money laundering a year, okay. So you're telling me the reason I need to be worried is because the people who are selling me drugs need to take their money and pay taxes with it. That's why, that's why, you're telling, you're selling this to me, right? So the people who I give money to buy, to put their lives at risk to sell me drugs that I want,

want to pay taxes with that money, and that's what laundering is. It's taking the money that you get through at listed activities, paying taxes with it, so you can have it. So they're offsetting my fucking tax burden, and that's why you wanna fuck over my cryptocurrency. Fuck you, don't use money laundering as a, oh Oh wow. Oh a fuck I hope there's last money laundering in the world

What You know, I know it's the you know No, I don't know anyone. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you we're gonna ask you something? No, I was saying as somebody has no crypto. You're saying put everything into link got it I don't know what it is, but I'm going to jump into it. Just put, just put everything into link and you'll win. That's the game. All right. Well, if I can end up in Portugal, don't put it to breathe. Don't put it to make it. All right. All right, buddy. Get out of here. Thanks for that. Say it by. Bye. See you anytime.

I'm glad I've a good one. Yeah, I think that's great. I find him so fucking funny. Me too. The money laundering piece. It's like, oh, you mean the illegal taxation, you're ripping out of my fucking income in the first place? Yeah. Oh, you mean so the people who are selling me, so you really want to put a stop to drugs, gambling, and whores. Is that right? You want to take all those people that we're giving money to and stop them from being

able to pay taxes? Oh, sign me up. How can we put an end to that? All right, let's do advice and get the hell out of here. This one is... Okay. This is from a BUNTER runner. Don't read my email address on the show, please.

Hey, Dick, I've been a listener for about 18 months, and I've really enjoyed the show. Putting some of your words into action has helped me with the bitches and with life in general. Seeing, as you always ask about people who writes physical attributes and habits on 5.7.141, I can bench 145. 145. Is what's that? I mean, it's pretty small guy. Two plates about what will give it to? Two plates is one-third of both. Yeah. And deadlift 320. I converted that from kilograms for Americans. Oh, thanks.

Anyway, I'm in my late teens, oh, 17, over the age of consent in my country. And I am in the contest. It's a virgin contest. No. We got guys trying to lose their virginity. Until this year, I hadn't got much attention from the ladies, but I grew a couple of inches, lost fatness in my cheeks, filled out and got some jaw definition, and I found bitches clamoring for me.

However, I was unsure what this new attitude towards me was, and it took me a couple of months to figure it out. So they're not used to it. Yeah. Anyway, due to the lowl down, my interaction with bitches is way down, bitches. I'm in an all boys school, so there is no girls there. I think the lack of interaction with girls is my main problem. I got the app Ubo and got a shit ton of matches, but due to Ubo's

swipe settings, they were generally far away. I got a few meetups and they were moderately successful. I know Tinder. And this is just bragging. I know Tinder and other similar apps have better distance parameters, but I need to change my age by a few months and I feel out of my depth there. Well, I mean, what do I do? That's entrapment, right? Is he asking for permission to ensnare pedophiles? I don't know. For more speedy results.

I do think you can't pedophile dudes if you're a woman. That's true. Yeah. It's like that show that's on right now, a teacher. It's just like, oh, is this supposed to feel bad for this cool high school kid who's fucking a teacher. Yeah, but then I see I used to think like that. Yeah, but then you got to remember the next day in class when you're as the boy of the student, you're done with her obviously and you're talking to some other girl in your class, she's going to be right there cock blocking you.

Like being a heart, talking, making sure your other teachers are, listen, if you fly that close to the sun, you can't be mad when the wings start to fall apart. That's true. You know, you have to learn how to juggle your bitches. Like this guy, right? It's the statutory relationship that I'm worried about. Not the rape. What do you mean?

Good. Yeah, yeah. Good point. Good, good point. When it comes to hot teachers, for more speedy results, I added all the girls in my quick ad on Snapchat to some but small success. When you do this, you're coming from an already creepy position and it's difficult to get out of this hole. Wow, beggars can be choosers, I guess. In conclusion, if you have any advice

to help me complete the contest, I'd appreciate it, kind of regards, Dick. And any advice to help me complete the contest, I'd appreciate it. Kind of regards, Dick and Besitos to you, Sean. Man, you're 17. What the fuck do you need help with? Just be in the same room as these girls. That's all you got to do. You can't put two teenagers together for longer than a couple of hours without them fucking,

right? That's how it was when I was a kid. Yeah. Wasting time on apps. Yeah. And worried about being a creep, with thinking about things, well, I could put my age in on Tinder,

but I don't know if I did still with it. There's a book out there that is the, to me, it's like the keystone of all human relationships in interactions, it's called the Seven Powers of Questions. And it basically talks about if you pivot every conversation to talking in terms of what's important to the other person in that moment,

you can pretty much get whatever you want from them. So, yeah, I can see that. It's actually written by a woman. It's actually written by a woman. And if you read it, it's probably better advice to hook up with women than any, I fuck chicks book that's out there. Yeah, it's probably better advice to hooking up with women than any, I fuck chicks book. Yeah.

No, it makes perfect. What if it's called the seven powers of questions? It's actually a business leadership book, but it has, it's really advice on, let's call an interact with people all the time. It's called an off label use. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And what is the tip? So, again, well, the concept of the book, the whole general thing is that if you talk in terms of what's

important to the other person, you always will have the leverage to get what you want in the conversation. It's sort of like saying, let's say I want you to sell more, right? But you don't want to sell more. And I just go, yeah, but Dick, you want more vacation weeks, right? That's true, yeah. Well, so the way that I get you more vacation weeks is by you hitting this number. So, if you want these vacation weeks,

you can do it yourself. You want to be satisfied in life. You can do it for yourself. And have your hopes, you want to spread positivity. The best way to do that is through my cock. Yes. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. You got to make it sound like it's her idea. That's a great tip. Yeah. Everybody. You're an empowered woman. You can make choices for yourself. I wouldn't be here if you weren't right. Right. Yeah. This would be enjoying the state if you weren't empowered. Yeah. The, the, the, don't listen to what

the advertising tells you the best book on how to manipulate women is written by a woman. And why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't it be? Right. Here's our cheat codes. Just make us feel like we're right about everything. I'll go read that book. Yeah. It's paperback. It's a quick read. It's a quick read. It's about 170 pages or something. Okay, Josh, will you plug your stuff please? Yeah, man.

People can find me at joshdannycomedy.com and if they wanna come over and join locals, it's joshdanny.locals.com. Joshdanny. I do a new show there twice a week called The Wake Up Call, which is just me and other comedians kind of like riffing on top stories, stuff like that, talking shit. You got any predictions for the year?

You got any predictions for Biden's inauguration in dog generation? I predict he won't be president beyond 90 days. Really? Yeah, I think he'll be gone before April. And then we have RoboCop. Yeah. Am I going to be taking over? Yeah.

Madilla. I kind of hope that. I kind of hope that the first female president was not elected You know, yeah, cuz then is is there anything more female than that? Exactly like oh with a richest woman on earth. Let me get is it Jeff Bezos x wife? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeff Bezos Oh wow, by the way, I want that so that they can never take it away from men. The first woman president inherited it. Yeah.

Didn't even win it. Yeah, I'll take four years of that. That's fine. Great. All right, this is, let me find a hard men working hard, son. E-girls get the bullet. Wow. Guys.

This has been the Dixia, Page of Honor, Comp slash Dixia. See you next week. Hard men working hard, obviously. Everybody knows where they are. Patreon.com slash. One, two, three. Stack them up six. Feet deep.

Counting them up. Life. She sing it to the height. The screen. And I said, now do you all hear that sound? Counting them up like she's singing to hide the screams And I said, now do you all hear that sound? Coming from down under ground Damn, guys!

I hear the toll of the bell It's time to send them to hell. You see how someone with no sense of humor could mistake this for Hey Speed? Yeah, Sean. I do. Very easily. Sounds like Oingo Wingo. It's fine.

Yeah. These are a bunch of guys who met each other through listening to the show of A-A-A-S-D-E-S Best-Australia Billboards-Charlie The Dias and E-Gurls I love these guys Subrichies, you know I tried it, it's sourd goes I wish you didn't have to be this way

But some tolls you just gotta be paid Tell a boy I said E-Gurls Get the bullet It really isn't an ass- Wait, I put it We gotta put you for it, down sometimes Some brats deserve to die, except each girl Skip them loose to the moderate the track or

If they're loose, we should be in at the beat this way But some tolls are just gotta be paid, paid, paid Oh wow, protecting the capital right here Hey, hey! Oh, wow. You're texting the Capitol right here. Is that Lena Dunham? Ha-ha! I'm one by one. It's time to lose the matter.

The bad of your night. You're building a wall. Like it's fucking dyes. And there's a lot more work to do. But that came from, and I said, Who's crime? Bitch, it ain't the time. Save your tears for the ditch

Where you'll be lying, suck it up, pop your ass Back in life, it's time for your shower now, get inside She's in so, it has to be done You know it has to be done You know you've had a good run You know you've had a good run You've had your time in the sun You've had your time in the song, you've had your time in the song. Now suck the end of my gum, my pride.

It's a very misogynistic compared to the earlier works. I think lockdown has done this. Yeah. It's really focused to them. Yeah. I said, eat girls, get the bullet. Really isn't an in-house way. We're all behind you.

I got you. I got you down some times. Some brats deserve to die. I said, ee, girls, get the news to go. Matter in the chat room. If they lose, we should end up. What do you need a trad move, man? The trad move, man. I know quite a few of them actually. You know it's quite a few trad. Yeah. What do you think of the trend? The trend movement.

I know, quite a few of them actually. You know, quite a few trends. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's, I mean, how trendy are you gonna go? You churn in butter? The fuck you do. Yeah, good question. Is that a euphemism?

I think, no, I don't know. I don't know. I think trend is just an excuse for girls to try to not be loose in this time where they have to be loose. Like, you know, in the age of, you know, Tinder and everything else, the expectation is that women are putting out almost immediately and-

Like this poor guy. They've got to come up with some identification, you know, thing that says, I don't do that, that isn't, you know. But I do do that. Yeah. Yeah. It's this new movement where we go back

to where we don't fuck right away. It's pretty cool. We're just, I'm all about trying to make being a pro counter culture. Yeah, I'm all about 60s marketing materials. I always, my favorite thing when I meet a trad girl is I'll always say, oh, this is awesome. I've always wanted to meet one that I could hit. And then it's, God, that's funny. It's not like that.

No, okay, well then it's not trad. You're not really trad unless you're walking around with the Bruce, making excuses. That's what it is. Yeah, well the kids, the kids did this. I was baking and minding my own fucking business and doing, keeping my mouth shut and the kids tripped me and I fell.

Bobby thought it'd be a frying pan of the face would be funny he doesn't know he's like three by guys see i think it's thanks shash yeah thanks for having me fun