The Dick Show - Episode 244 - Dick on How to Live Forever

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

Bullying billionaires, Park n Raves, women and their horrible digestion, audio messages, DIY haircuts, arrested for writing stories, triple masking, Biden's GOSBANK, the show gets a mom banned from the park, TV is illegal, Crippled Jesus vs. Uni Part 3, The Silver Squeeze, and how to live forever; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada,

bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, citrus fruit. It's awful. Is it really? Oh, so it's an IPA with a tangerine. Yeah, they're trying to get people who don't like IPAs to drink IPAs. Well, fucking coach, one time he came over and he set up a whole day of drinking. Yeah. But he wanted to get like a main, an appetizer beer, a main course beer, and then a dessert beer. This is like, why don't you just, I just had a bunch of, you know, six packs, but he had a very specific plan for what he wanted to do. I believe that. So now I got, I've been stuck with these stupid, tangerine IPAs.

Did you ever get to dessert? Was it never got, we opened like one and it's like, oh, that was not a lot of. Is that what that was? Yeah, this was the dessert course. Yeah. Tangerine. So when I'm at my most desperate of flavor pairings going on,

it's already making me sick. Well, I can taste it in my throat. I bet that's what you get about probably two-thirds of that down. You'll be like, I'm kind of used to it. This ain't so bad. God. Is it really Tangerine? This ain't so bad. Oh God. Is it really tangerine?

I don't even know. No, it's not tangerine enough. Like a watermelon beer. That's a good beer. Have you had watermelon beer? Do they make that? Yeah, they make fucking every other. High watermelon.

That's a great beer. Man, I stopped drinking at the wrong time, I think. All these. No, yeah. When was that, when would that not be true? Right. No, that's, I've never been into the flavored beers, except I did like, I did like some of the pumpkin ails

at around the harvest. Yeah, yeah, they're good. They're good, yeah, you know, I'm a sucker for pumpkin spice. People, people, are you really? I mean, not, not, I mean, no, not really. I mean, I like pumpkin pie and shit like that. I like that. Yeah, but it's, no, I don't go to,

I've never gotten a pumpkin anything from like a Starbucks or a coffee bean or anything like that. I know some people, some people like, sit there, watches by, you know, when the fucking thing comes out. A horrible people do that. Yeah, but the pumpkin ale, it's pretty good.

Not, it's not something I would have, I would have drunky around or anything though. No. No. Uh, I don't know if I've ever had a pumpkin spice from Starbucks. Huh. Yeah, I, no, I guarantee you I know exactly

what it tastes like though, because it tastes exactly like every other pumpkin spice thing. Right? I don't know if I've had any pumpkin spice. It tastes just like pumpkin pie. Oh. Because there's, you know, there's... Coffee.

Yeah, there's, you know, there's spices in the pumpkin pie. It's not just pumpkin meat and sugar, you know? Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, cinnamon, nutmeg. Maybe I'll give it a shot next year. Yeah. If they have it, if they have it around.

I'm waiting for a garlic beer. That'll get me back, Drinking. Oh, God, a garlic beer? I wanted to do such a thing. I just, I just, anchovie beer. I'm trying to think of the worst thing I can. I do like, do it.

You know, this garlic ice cream. No, there's a shop down the street that sells all kinds of weird flavors. Yeah. Cheese. Yeah. That's a, that's an ice cream flavor they've got down there. Really?

I believe garlic. What kind of cheese? I don't know. I know in Sicily, a lot of people don't know, there's Sicily's known for artichokes. Like artichoke is like a big crop there. And they have an artichoke festival every year. They have artichoke ice cream, which is strange,

because everybody's trying to think, what the fuck does have artichoke ice cream, which is strange because everybody's trying to think what the fuck does an artichoke taste like? You know, I can like mayonnaise. It's usually what happens, right? It's mild. Artichoke carts have a distinct flavor, but it's not something you would think, oh, let's make it into an ice cream. I should have started drinking when I woke up.

Yeah. Usually I save drinking till the show starts. Right, but it's gonna be, it's one of those days. So we're gonna write like a half hour of the show off till you get right. Yeah. All right. Start, Liz, I'm gonna put a time code right here, punch it in to when I get my brain back together.

Okay, got it from last night. What'd you do last night? Whoa! What didn't you do last night? Whoa! What didn't you do last night? Whoa! What a night! Whoa!

You better don't ask me those types of questions, John. I knew when you said, hey, can we move it to noon? You said that early in the day? Yeah. I was like, oh, okay, something's happening. Oh, yeah. Real, something's happening. Ah, yeah. Real, real special evening. Here we go.

Let's do it. Let's do the show! Oh, is that thing? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, you want to get in here? You got it at the show. It's a contest going to be live from Mount

and Barnett even the heart of the city of failure. I mean, how sick, man? It's an AK, the $20 million man. But it's a matter of the mayor's worst. It's a matter of getting 94 weeks running. Joining me is always world touring, L.I. based comedian Sean, the audio engineer. That intro every week sounds less and less like English.

I've been noticing that. I've been noticing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's me. You take my take out of it, I'm taking it out of it. I thought I nailed it that week. Which week?

This just now. I thought, wow, I actually nailed it. Listen back. I nailed it and then you immediately come in with your naysang. You did a garbage job. Didn't sound like English at all. Well, I think maybe you're the only one

who can hear it, you're so used to it. Maybe you were, maybe you're word perfect and I just missed it. Maybe I, yeah, maybe I missed the feel of it. It's so second nature. Oh God, I don't know why I'm in such a good mood. Really? Yes, after that bonus episode, that was the greatest bonus episode. I've had such a time. Oh my God, that is more hateful and loatheful of loathing than I have ever been in my life.

Yeah. Just talking about stonks. Yes. Get it at patreon.com slash the dick show. You can also get video and stuff there. Yeah, I could have, I will probably, I will not get sick about talking about the game stop. Just because it just, it really just, it's front and center. Yeah. And this is the stuff. And I know, you know, and I agree with you, you say, you know, don't, don't elevate comedians to great social commentators

and stuff and everybody knows my love of George Carlin. But if you go back and watch 20 years ago, he's spot on everything. I mean, just what's related to game stocks. Just everything. I mean, just how it's rigged and how the laws are written and how all this kind of stuff. And if you beat them at their own game,

then they immediately change the rules of the game. Well, the clearing house Well, the clearing house, and the clearing house, they wouldn't let us, because there was too many margins, and we didn't have to have stocks, so we had to stop it. You can only buy one. You can only buy one.

Yeah. Why can't, oh, one, they let you buy one. Okay, not two, or three, one stonk, I can buy. See the guy flying the, I can sell unlimited amounts of them, right? I could, I could liquidate my whole fucking holdings. Yeah, but I may buy one. Yeah. I was like,

I was like fuck Robin Hood, Robin Hood suckered everybody in. Yeah, right. You know, they named it something that seems like it's further people. Yeah. And I've fooled a bunch of people. Go figure.

Go figure. Go figure. Um, and they've fooled a bunch of people. Go figure. Go figure. Go figure. Um, and they're going to get away with it. Nothing's going to happen. Oh, I read their terms of service. Their terms of fucking service say we can sell any of your socks that we want. Of course. And if I'm full, I'm like, what is, why does, why does it terms of service exist? It's just a thing that morons can point to and say, well, you signed, just put in the terms of service. You have absolutely no rights. You'll do whatever we want. That's right. You don't have a choice. No, you don't.

Where the fuck else are you going to go? No, and that's exactly the point that it's like, you know, it's, it's crazy. It's just everybody sees how it works. What's going on now? Everybody sees it. It's a big fucking fraud. Yeah. And all of these pencil, these pencil dicks, this is the take of a century. This is the cold take of a fucking century. These pencil dick money managers are all over saying, I don't think that these, I don't think that these retail traders know that what they're doing could pose serious risks to the market yeah it's this is the tower of babble yeah that you idiots have been building for years

fucking a solver work bringing it down on purpose that's exactly the point that's why people are putting money in to bring it down. By your own, by your own poor decisions. Yeah, I, it's the tower of fucking babble. I really do think that the America as we know it or knew it or our perception of it, I really think it's circling the drain. Oh, God. I really do. So now everyone signed up on that Chinese app, we bull or something like that. Yeah. To buy and buy their stonks. And I think, well, yeah, why not?

Who's dedicated to ending, who's dedicated to ending the American hegemony and the destruction of the US dollar? China. Who's also dedicated to ending the 99% everyone, everyone in fucking America. It's who. Well, gosh, I got a bunch of Bitcoin. Sure would be a shame if something happened to that currency you have. It doesn't really hurt me.

Yeah. If it goes, doesn't really matter if the one or the ding dong or whatever is the world crew, I don't care. I can fuck no matter what. So I don't care. Oh, these, do these retail traders even know what they're doing? They're gonna cause serious risks. They know exactly what they're doing.

They're fucking you up. Yeah, yeah. And then I saw, I think, you know, all of this stuff is all of these trades and these deals are kind of, you don't get to know what everybody's doing at any point. But it seems to me like they, like they double fucking down the, the hedge funds, they're like, okay, all right, we're, we're going to try to liquid, we fucked you over by not

letting anyone buy. So everybody panic sold because we, he's, well, this is, that's how deep platforming works. We're deep platforming your stonks. So some people are going gonna ditch everything, right? You can only sell. Some people are gonna ditch everything. And while we're doing that, we're gonna buy at the dip and try to liquidate

as many of our law and try to get rid of as many air losses again and then what we're gonna do is buy more shorts. Because we know, because that's probably gonna go down. Probably is gonna go down to fee, you know, 50.'s probably gonna go down. Mm-hmm. Probably's gonna go down to figure out 50. This can't last forever. So we're gonna make, we're gonna short it. You fucking did it again. You did it again.

You did it again. You fucking did it again. Now that we've eliminated people's means of fucking us or trying to, we'll do it again. We'll do it again. And then the people are gonna figure out a way around it. Like you said, like a Chinese site, right? Yeah.

Go for it. Do it again. Hey, what do you got to lose? Well, it's thing. They think it's, I think they think it's a war of attrition. It is. It is, but I don't know if they, I don't know if they know that people can hold out longer.

Oh yeah, people are, people plan on not making any money off of it. I'm like, yeah, I'm going out. I know, awesome. Yeah, never. Right, never underestimate just a fucking spiteful. Oh man. Yeah. Fucking hate.

Hate them so much. Yeah. So much and they're on. What are you doing? They're just crying on the news. Yeah, they're just targeting much. Yeah. So much and they're on, what are you doing? The billionaires crying on the news. Yeah. They're just targeting us. Yeah.

What? What do you exist on their corpses? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Oh God, they want the owner of the mess. They're not doing it. They're not doing it for money.

They're doing it for hate. If you hate your idiot. Yeah. There's nothing more powerful. Fucking hate you. That's why. Fucking hate you. Yeah.

Yep. Terms of cervix. The owner of the Met's, I'll have to leave Twitter because he's getting all death threats. Yeah. Getting death threats. I've been getting so many death threats.

These people, I'm surprised anybody cares about the owner of the Metz. Well, because he owns that, he's the one that owns the hedge fund. Yeah, yeah. No, I just think in the Metz, you know, it's like Metz fans are funny. It's like you have the winningest franchise

and professional sports and you choose the Metz. Oh God. We went to a park and rave last night. A park and rave. So everybody part, it's like a drive in rave. It's like a concentration camp. It's like a rave meets a concentration camp. Nito.

So you drive in your car in. And 12 fat women shake your car down for any kind of contraband with flat like going through with a fucking. What the fuck would you, you're a rave? Yeah. How is that a rave? You mean if there's no contraband? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't, the level of gnarking, the level of permissible gnarking that has, that is now currently gripping us by the balls has skyrocketed. Yeah, yeah. These gnarks were training at home how to be more efficient gnarks. You pull in everybody out of the, let's go through your entire car. Like, why? What could you, first of all, what are you gonna find poking around looking a flashlight?

Like, oh, wow, yeah, you're right, I had an entire car full of guns. It got me. Well, they're hoping that to find a half-eaten, you know, role of rolloas under the seat, maybe. They were huge. Yeah, well, security bras were gigantic. Like, truffle pigs.

Like, truffle. They sent them in there. Yeah, right, sniff it out. Right. Then you pull into your allotted space, like truffle. They sent them in there, you know? Right, sniff it out. Right. Then you pull into your allotted space, like they taxi you in there. Mm-hmm. And everybody parks, like, you know,

next to their little corral, then you get out and you have a six by nine fenced off area, like their like, like, like, SkyNet is rounding you up to liquefy you. That had to be like, their like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like Pomona or something? Where? San Bernardino. Oh, really? The only thing happening. The only thing, what a, that's a crazy idea to me. It's a nightmare. So how do you get fucked up?

Huh! You have to, you have to order on the app and then they bring you over. They bring you over drinks that you ordered. Of course I brought, you know. Whatever, you brought a giant bottle of vodka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there smoking a cigarette

with one hand and drinking a drink and two, Narks come over. No smoke too. Can you put your mask on? I think, what the fuck? I have, sorry, I have to put down my cigarette or my drink that I'm in the middle of doing to put my fucking mask on. Yeah, you got it.

How are you supposed to smoke? I don't know. Your ass. Maybe. Nice. You're supposed to suck it in through your ass? God, whatever. So, you know, that's how they're testing people in China now.

I amel swabs. Was it a huge waste of time? Yeah, it was great. It was great to be out of the house. That's true. But it's beautiful downtown Pomona. Beautiful downtown San Bernardini. Oh, San Bernardini.

San Bernardini. The beautiful swap me. Is that where it was? There it was, yeah. Oh my God. What a, yeah. Okay, here's what else I have. What's the deal with women in their digestion?

Why is that? What is, why? You mean ever since Jamie Lee Curtis and the Activia commercials. Yeah. How come it's always? What are women doing wrong with their digesting? Always everything goes back to women in their digestion. What do they? Is that code for something? Well, I think they, I think like guys

are just like, I don't know, something I ate. And women are like, they're like more tuned into it, but then they won't shut up about it. No, they won't shut up about it. It happens just as much, it happens just as much to guys. I'm sure guys are just like, I don't know, man, I just fucking shit myself today.

Like, I don't know. I don't have drank or like, I don't know. Maybe I have, maybe I have seely act, is he? I, you know, I don't know. I mean, this doesn't happen when I eat organic. 80s girls started hula hooping. Really? Well, she hula's too, right?

I mean, she started hula hooping now. The next step. The next step. That's a logical progression. It's like the third stage of hula. Yeah, it's great for weight loss. Oh my God. It's good exercise.

I mean, you're a fucking move. Yeah. I mean, I don't know about heavy, but- No, it is. The adult ones are heavy. They're weighted. It is meant to be a workout. Yeah, and you can't do a kid's,

the kid's one just falls off, can't do them. Yeah, I'd be heavy. Right. And it's pedophilia, frankly. Yeah. If you use a kid's who- That's a, you're a pedophile. Right.

If you're even in the, in the toy section, you know, at a store or something, at a looking- Looking at kids who look at this pedophile. Right, if you're even in the in the toy section, you know, at a store or something, looking at kids who look at us. Pedophile. Yeah. And rate of them. Put them in the wood shipper shot. Yeah.

So tough what I would do. This is what men fantasize about online now. Yeah. Give me one hour alone with a pedophile. Yeah. Like you're supposed to be thinking about women. Yeah, not pedophiles. Right. You fucking weird out.

Right. Was I saying, oh yeah, it's just more about you than it does about the pedophile. Yeah. Then she hits me with this one. Yeah, it's great for weight loss and it's good workout. And so you're hula hooping now. And. Yeah.

It helps with digestion. I said no, stop. Oh, okay, I gotcha. No, not everything. Just not. I said, no, stop. Oh, okay, I got you. No, not everything. Just not everything in the world has to do with your digestion. Mm-hmm. That's all I'm saying about it.

Oh, okay. Well, fair enough. TVs are illegal in LA, do you know that? No. TVs, bars, bars are open, but you can't have TV in them. Why? Because they don't want people loitering too long or like the... Because they don't want people going to a bar and watching the Super Bowl.

Oh, that's why. That makes sense. So not like, could you keep it under... It's outdoors, right? Yeah. I mean, we're talking outdoor. Outdoors, yeah, which, which, ever, you know. It's fine.

Yeah, it's the odds of transmission, they think like just outdoor restaurants accounts for a tiny, tiny percentage of infections. So we'll give you what I've heard. We'll let you open up just 40 degrees outside. All right. That's been cold lately in LA. Four LA.

We'll let you open up 40 degrees, but you're not allowed to tell after the Super Bowl. Yeah. That's what it's going to be. We'll give you your TVs back after this. Like, can you just, just make playing the Super Bowl illegal? Yeah. Just limit them. Like, you can't have a TV's.

Yeah. It's, where's the anal swab tests are going to be mandatory before this is over? No, no. It's going to be a daily mandatory anal swab test that you take, you wake up and the government comes to your house and sticks a swab in your ass. Well, that's surface. At least I don't have to go to a Dodger Stadium.

Ha, ha, ha. Ugh. Do you see protesters shutting down the vaccines for like an hour at Dr. Stadium? Yeah. Yeah. Idiots. Fucking idiots.

Yeah. I mean, I'm an anti-vaxxer, but yeah, sure. Also, you can't be delaying people in drafts. Yeah. Right. What the fuck is your fucking idiots? You just fucking idiots. Get them over. Yeah, just run them over.

Just run them over. Nobody's making you do it. Fucking how dare you are. Fucking stop other people. They are making us do it. Unless there's a mandatory vaccine, which they've all said none of them is going to do. What are you going to have to do?

To fly. Well, I don't know. I mean, is that airline dependent or what? Oh, so they're private. No, the Debbie FAA. Debbie Federal. I have no idea. Well, I mean, I don't know if that would be a thing to do. What you have, I mean, I don't know. I haven't heard anything about that yet. Women sending audio messages instead of texts. About that one for you.

Audio messages instead of texts about that one for you. Got guys do it too, which I You had man sat there and spoke into his phone. Audio messages instead of just a fucking voicemail. Just a text. No, I know. I do the text to speech, but they'll record themselves Yeah talking for like an like an hour. I want text.

I hate voicemail. I hate it when people leave voicemail. Um, me too. Yeah, and I I hate voicemail. I hate it when people leave voicemail. Me too. And I don't get the, so I have, now I essentially have a voicemail just on my message app. What do you mean?

Well, I mean, that's a fucking audio, it's an audio text, right? I mean, that's what you're talking about. Yes. When they record, women will send it and then just send it instead of the text. Instead of the text, you got the text to speech, you got a voice, you got many other ways to do this

other than sending a fucking MP3. Yeah, to me. I guess I got a... I just, I like scrub this thing. I like text. Just fucking text me, or if you have to, if you have to call me and I'll talk to you in real time. Yeah.

But I don't want the intermediaries. No. Thanks for getting that bonus episode up, by the way. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to get that out as quickly as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was still fresh while everyone was still getting fucked over by Wall Street.

Right. Well, I don't think that's changed, but. No, they're gonna do it to silver next. Have you read this? No, no, I haven't. Oh my God. Tell me about it. So apparently, I don't know if any of this is true.

I mean, it seems so there's two things. There's two things coming at this. Number one, the price of silver has been artificially suppressed because it's useful in building things, components, like all this green energy computers. Silver's actually used a lot to build things. I didn't know it was used that much in electronics and stuff. Yeah.

I know, maybe I'm even gold used in electronics, but there's a lot of other metals and stuff, too. Yeah. So it's been artificially kept low for a long time. And one of the ways they do that is by having a bunch of financial instruments to represent silver that are not actual silver. So the metal silver. Yeah. Instead, it's not like if you're buying a,

it's not like if you're buying a share of silver. It's definitely silver. Like it's like a silver futures. You're betting on silver going up. Like it's all, they'll have all kinds of different ways for you to put money into silver. There's not just buying silver to keep the price down. And I think JP Morgan just got fine,

like a billion dollars for doing this, for trying to keep it down. So, they'll come out way ahead even with a billion dollar fine, right? Cause I've been doing it forever. It's a fucking worse thing, man. Yeah, yeah. No. So the guys figured out that if they just buy silver, actual silver, the guys who, the banks who have to put up

the silver, you know, keep it in the warehouse, won't be able to find it. So they'll have to go buy other shares and it will start a cascading effect of buying, of buying silver and Cause you need the physical metal. Yeah, somewhere, yeah, somewhere it has to have it. Yeah, in the vault. Right.

When you buy it. Cause if you have enough, you can ask for it. But they still have the fucking have it. Yeah. So they're gonna do that to dry. If everybody just buys silver, it'll be like Game Stonk times a thousand. Wow.

9-11 for the stocks, for stocks. Uh huh. Times 9-11 Wow. 9-11 for the stocks, for the songs. Times 9-11. Times 9-11. So I don't know. Do whatever you want with that. Do what thou will. Buy some silver, I guess. Yeah.

I got a haircut. Did your friends been, yeah. We crossed that Rubicon of letting my girlfriend cut my hair. Oh wow. What do you think? Good. Well, I mean, it looks fine. I can't tell.

It's fine. Yeah, that's pretty good. I can't tell. It looks the same. It looks the same. What was it where? What was trimmed? Where was everything?

We got your cans on too. It took about three hours to get through. It's like diffusing a bomb. Yeah, each cut, right? You're like, hey, are you sure? I don't know, I don't trust your judgment of color. She puts a clippers on, she's like, how do these work? Oh God. Yeah, is there like a carpet or something we can try it out on?

Yeah, first. Where are those guinea pigs? Yeah, cut the hamster. Oh no, there's hamsters hair first before you do me. I'm feeling it go over the same spot over and over. That's not how clippers work. I don't know what you're doing back there. Frightening.

Well, it doesn't look like anything kind of straffic happened. So you got that going for you. I think maybe I'll get into that every day. What's that? Like let's trim it up every day. Like a real professional man. Yeah, every day. Let's get into that every day. What's that? Like let's trim it up every day, like a real professional man. Yeah, every day, yeah. Let's get a haircut every day.

Sure. Going, do you think we could do something like that? You know, watch some TV, get a little trim in. Yeah. Look and fresh every day. Right, right. That's what I'm talking about. I've got, oh yeah, this is a good one.

I'm sure everyone will hate that I think this, this guy was arrested for, and sentenced for writing words. Here you go, jailed for writing words. Mm. You're kind of suspended, yeah, yeah, yeah. Random website featuring stories about child sexual abuse. It was his sole income for 20 years.

Neighbors wonder why it took law enforcement so long to catch up with what he was doing. So a website with a bunch of stories and drawings and shit. Yeah. Jail. Mm-hmm. Well, not exactly a, not exactly a, not a lot of stories and drawings and shit. Yeah. Jail. Mm-hmm. Well, not exactly a, not a feel good story for you. A lot of second arranged people, but they're going to jail. Similarly, Sam Token, you've got Ricky Vaughan, you know that, that right wing commentator. Ricky Vaughan, he got him.

Yeah, he's under a little bit. He's also been indicted. Let me see here. Indicted for using memes to spread election disinformation. Yeah. To Hillary Clinton voters in 2016. For using Twitter to spread. Yeah.

Yeah. Indicted by, let's see here. I mean, loaded up. Oh, Eastern United, yeah, the DOJ. Indicted by the DOJ for use, for spreading election disinformation. But this is so why him in particular, there's a ton of disinformation getting fired all over the place and has been for a long

time. You have to see what they're indicting him for sharing a meme that was it said, avoid the line vote from home by texting Hillary to a number that you can vote like that. Oh, I mean, it's funny to try to trick people into staying home by, hey, you don't have to go vote. You can just text your vote. Yeah. Yeah.

It's funny, but it's also, according to that election's official guy's kind of funny. It's like a lot of them can't even read. They'll come into vote and they just, they can't read. They don't know. You have to point to them, ask them who they want to vote for and then point to it. Indicted by the DOJ for sharing a meme that says avoid the line vote from home. Text Hillary to five, nine, nine, two, five vote Hillary and V.

That's five years ago. Pretty creative. Five fucking years ago, for posting this. Is that so he just got indicted or you go on a jail, proposing a meme that says, are you at least paying God knows how much to defend yourself in court from the United States of America?

Right, right, which has deeper pockets than you because all of us are in the court. Yeah, yeah, Jesus Christ. It's sick. That's pretty funny. Yeah. That's pretty funny. They avoid the line. Yeah. Text. Yeah. Because people, everybody's lazy. And everybody goes like, it must be legit. It's in writing. Somebody will believe it. Yeah. Oh, of course. I could just text. Okay. Sure. Why not? Yeah. They're rounding us up. One by one,

throwing us in prison into a drive in raves for all of us. Yeah. They're rounding us up one by one, throwing us in prison. Into a drive in raves for all of us. Yeah, I really felt like I couldn't stop thinking about that Terminator, the future one where they're rounding all the people up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like turn styles. Yeah, this is jazz.

This is horrible. 17 intelligence agencies come together to stop climate change. Good one. Good, good one. Good, good, good, good. Biden climate envoy says 17 US intelligence agencies will work together to combat climate change. What? Why intelligence agencies?

Because they got nothing better to do than sit around. That seems odd to me. Spying. Yeah. For the climate. That seems, yeah me. Spying for the climate. That seems, yeah, I don't think. It seems like maybe they're not doing much of, no, I don't climb it stuff. I don't like that.

Do we even have a choice anymore? No. Is there ever a point where we'll even be under the impression that we have a choice in anything ever again? No, I think you nailed it right there. I think that's basically kind of where we kind of just go, oh yeah, so it's been like this. Now it's just front and center.

Yeah, now they've got everything. Finally got everything. It's cybernetically guaranteed. They're in total control of everything all this time because we signed all those fucking terms of service. No problem. Can you believe that? Do you turn ourselves not on the list and read it? Actually, they're protected because their terms of service say they can fuck you and

they ask whenever they want. Literally, it's right here on the 56th page, two thirds of the way down. We can fuck you right in the ass. Should the need arise and you have to enjoy it. Right. You agree to enjoy it. That. You agree to enjoy it. That's right. That's signing this.

Yeah, I mean, oh, yeah, you got me. Yeah, really fucking got me. Yeah. The boot looking is just insane. These people carry blah, blah, blah, something during the briefing. Climate change are issues of national security that must be promptly addressed by US intelligence. Oh man, offense. No, I think that's security.

You're not in your lane. I think you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Maybe you just get rid of them. They got nothing to do. Clearly. Clearly you have nothing to do. Yeah. I don't know.

The teen tipped off FBI, better dad, this one's teen tipped on, yeah, yeah, about dad's involvement in the Capitol Hill riot. They say riot, but insurrection, I think is the word in the looking for. In 18 year old Texas man tipped off the FBI about his father's role in the US Capitol riot and said he'd do it again. Jackson, uh, graffiti whose dad guy graffiti was charged last week in the January 6th siege told local

outlet Fox 4 that he acted out of a moral obligation. Turning in your fucking dad. Does it? FBI is like it really is like it's, you know, everybody goes, oh, it's just like 1984. That's part of the book, literally. That literally is 1984. It's just saying report your parents. Yeah, do it. That is literally right out of the book.

I have a fucking book. Yeah. So we've got a meme, we've got a guy posting memes going to a federal pound me in the ass reeducation center. Right. We've got kids turning in their fucking teds. Oh my God.

Okay. That's okay. Poor Guy Fietti is going to prison. Ha ha ha. Rafiti, what's his name? I don't know, I can't read it that far. Guy Fietti is going to a federal pound me in the ass prison. I think we talked about this on the bonus episode, the triple mask effectiveness. found me in the ass prison.

I think we talked about this on the bonus episode, the triple mask effectiveness. I have no fucking, I'm not doing it. I said, the double mask, as you see in this chart, released by CNBC, is 75% efficiency. Efficiency of... Yeah, no, virus. Right, vi-ri-ri. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what the efficiency stands for. But a triple mask is 90%. Pretty soon people are going to look like they're like some duck-build animal. Let's put this all... It's going to be Mad Cux crowns. Right? Yeah.

That's what it's going to be. Do you have two masks, Mad Cucks at the show? Oh, I don't know, I didn't see. But, you know, he wears like, you know, 15 fucking crowns. That's the good, it's gonna be just, just wear the whole box. Just fucking, you gotta just settle the hell. Just fucking settle down. I mean, well, what's the one mask, Ben?

That's all I wanna know, because I see double, no one's wearing double. I want to know. Because I see double. No one's wearing double. I mean, I've never been wearing double. No one's been wearing double. So what was one? No. Because I've never seen the efficiency rate of one. We know that it's like it gives a false sense of security. Like it should not, you should not think that you can't get it wearing a mask.

The guy coming over to me last night and telling me to put down my drink and cigarette to put my mask on, pissed me off so much because that interaction was a more major, dangerous thing that I had done that day. I came there with friends that I know that I've been around. You're not around.

I take it, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, for bed we go inside. Don't look at me. You're really doing,. You're in a round, I take it, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's not for bad, we go inside. Don't look at the music. You're really doing, that's really about as safe as you can be with a large social gathering. Yeah, just from what I know, it's outside, it's like the odds of getting it outside

if you're not standing right next to each other, breathing in each other's faces, it's quite low. Yeah. That methatic, come here. You gotta put that, put that mask on, come on, come on. Yeah. You know, that would be a methatic. Oh, yeah.

You've got two of them. They had one tooth between them. Between them, right. Right, it was fucking brown and sharp, like a fucking dog, dude. Lonely. Pounding mountain dew. Breaking Biden vows to eliminate banking regulations

that require banks to make decisions based on impartial risk based standards rather than political or reputational concerns. Arguing that banks should be free to refuse service to conservatives. How about that? Breaking. That's got, gots bank did that.

Soviet Union's bank said, we're not servicing. We're not giving out loans unless you support the party. Sure, of course. The party's plan, they've been doing it for a long time. Cool, nice to see you here. Nice to see you taking them. Younger people are being hit hardest by pandemic loneliness.

No doubt. Researchers have collected data from 200,000 European citizens to understand the effect of COVID on mental health. Results show that the highest levels of loneliness were observed amongst young people. Oh, wow, really? What a surprise. And people with pre-existing mental ill,

well, no shit. So everybody. No, man, it's, it's, we, we won't know the, you know, the full effects of effects of, you know, on mental health for probably a long time, but it'll continue to be studied and it's none of its good. Now how could it be?

None of its good. Thorrible. Fucked out people's brains permanently. I mean, at least they'll come up with some slogans about it, I hope. Some posters in the billboard, you know, hashtags for mental health, awareness, stuff, pretty post-coded.

Well, that's what helps. Yeah. We know that. Nothing really. Oh, oh, yeah, it's by age. So under 30, percentage of with high, high loneliness. Well, these are people in the, they're used to going out, they're used to meeting people, under 30 percentage of with high loneliness. Well, these are people in the, they're used to going out, they're used to meeting people,

they're used to, they're not under 30, they're not completely, they haven't completely been beaten down by the world yet and still have like some, you know, some optimism and, yeah, of course, that makes perfect sense. Perfect sense to me, yes, and energy. Under 30 is 20, 25%. Yeah.

Population with high loneliness. 30 to 60 is 7%. Oh God, that's a big difference. Yeah. Above 60 is 10%. Mm-hmm. Aye, aye, aye, aye. 30 to 60, that makes sense, I mean, you know.

Yeah, they got other shit to do. Yeah. Family stuff like that. Yeah, probably not finding, not going to many park and raves. No, they're, yeah, they got other shits to do. Family stuff like that. Probably not finding, not going to many park and raves. No, they're wishing they were lonelyer. Twitter started a bird watcher program. A bird watcher report things for being disinformation. Oh, they call that bird watching?

Yeah, that's their cute name for it. Is that like brand new or is that proud? That's brand new. They've crowdsourced. They've crowdsourced the ministry of truth to peep to consensus. So now, now fact, fact is just in the hands of everybody. Well, it, is it or it, I mean, it should be, if it's, it should be That fact is just in the hands of everybody. Well, is it, or I mean, it should be,

if it should be verifiable to some, just because somebody says, hey, that's disinformation, doesn't mean it's disinformation. That sounds, it works now. Why? Because that's what they did. You just report it. Report it.

I get it, but there should be somebody, or some group that actually checks into that. Like a non-biased board that decides internet things like that. I mean specifically for and out. You've got specifically for Twitter or something, you know, but I mean, you can't even trust, yeah, you can't even trust, you wouldn't trust the company that made the, you know, that made the rule, I wouldn't think. But I mean, you wouldn't, right? No, no.

Who else are you gonna get used though? The board, the board. The big board. Ah, this is from... You'll see the big board. This is from Sally. Dick, I managed to traumatize a playground full of kids with your erotic stories.

Never thought I'd write in, as I'm a pretty average mom. Wow. So you're going to jail. No shit. So the guy runs a child erotic stories. Never thought I'd write in as I'm a pretty average mom. Wow. So you're going to jail. No shit. Yeah. So the guy runs a child erotic stories on playground full story website. And neighbors wonder what took authority so long to lock him up. A pretty average mom of two and a half and I don't really have any wild and crazy stories of two and a half. That's what it says.

I'm like, it would be average. Two point five kids of two and a half. Oh yeah. Is that what it, is that how moms talk? Well, I mean, I think she's just saying she's like two and a half. She's like, you know, Joq mom. Yeah.

But I thought I'd let you know that your show has essentially gotten me and my kids are official ban from the after school play date set. My kid. I couldn't be happier. My kids are weird and we live in a small, insular southern town where my kids are weird. Most every child has been turned into a masked shut-in, like some kind of deformed attic dwelling horror movie motif. That is, there's a lot of kids being really heavily indoctrinated

into following rules. I do like, I do really like it when I see a family out and they're like, you know, they're kids and they're out, you know, like, they're all wearing masks, but like, I like that their kids aren't shut in their house. Oh, you know what I mean? Just the, like it's fine. Um, there are kids being raised right now to accept any conditions, any rules, they're

being conditioned to accept absolutely anything. And turn, and gnarking. Yeah, and there's one. And there's one's that are being raised to do the opposite. Yeah, it's just going gonna be, which already exists? Oh, sure. We grew up, that's always existed, but never to this, never to this degree. Where you've got kids now being taught social distancing.

There's kids out there with three masks. It's like this is what you gotta do. That is accepted. Yeah. Okay. So play dates outside of school or the only way kids can interact since recess became kids yelling at each other from six feet away. I was at the playground talking up my six-year-old like I'm his manager to another mom and her Caden, Braden, Jaden,

many sat life, bro. What? I don't know, sat. Salt life bro. I feel like it's looking good. She's also complaining about the school board, dealing with Zoom calls and her kid is bored too. I feel like I've really got a shot with her. She starts talking about her schedule. Oh, they like try to do play dates. That's what they're trying to do.

They're trying to like, it's, they're trying to, they're trying to come to, they're trying to make a fight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Bob Ayrum and Don King or trying to come together and you know her. Oh god damn. She starts talking about her schedule and looks for her phone so she can text me her number.

It's not in her purse. So she asks if I can call her, so she'll have my info and we can get together. I also left my phone in the car. So I asked my seven-year-old to look in the car for my phone. I'm this close to cinching the deal, so I don't want to lose momentum. Here comes the erotic story.

My phone, looking for my phone for 10 minutes, I toss my kid the keys and watch her head to the car on the exact opposite end of the playground. About halfway into setting something up for the next weekend, I hear with horror, your voice narrating the hippie blowjob puke story. God. Full volume. Oh, God.

Moms and kids alike, stop and stare. Oh. Trying to do that for me. That's where you just sell the kid out. I'll have the, I'll have the model. You just sell the kid. What I'll have the madame. You just sell the go, what did you put on? What did you click on? What did you click on?

That's a your phone privileges are revoked. Come on, take this one for me. Take this one for me, a little shit. Moms and kids alike stop and stare trying to determine where this disembodied voice is blaring from. I look at my daughter trapped in the car and listening to my last played podcast. I'm eight months pregnant and fat as fuck. So my best attempt at a run. God damn. Is something you would see at the special Olympics. Oh my god. The time I made it across the park, the damage was done. There was no graceful way to get

out of this. So I got the kids in their booster seats and drove off and shay. Sorry, Sally. God is that funny. Now we're looking for a new park and my kid had to had to bail on the park, not just the potential play date. You can never go there again. No, you can never go there again. No, that parks off limits. I'm going to take the kids to the park. I'll be back in three hours.

Got to go to the one on the next county. There was no graceful way to go down to this. Now we're looking for a new park and my kids have a lot of questions. I can't answer with the usual when a man and a woman love each other. Oh my God. Look what you've done. This isn't the first time they've heard some of your show by accident, but this is the first time my shitty parenting has been so public. Anyway, love the show and go fuck yourself.

Which is so funny, because something similar happens to a lot of parents. It's just not so public. Everybody slips up. They don't know the kids. They don't know the kids in the next room or something and you're talking to another adult and something. You know what I mean? There's stuff you probably don't want them to hear or repeat.

But this one just happened to be in public. So now she's the fucking God now. She's the degenerate mother When their kid trapped in the car Daniel turns out McAfee was real close on how the elite we're going to take control of crypto, but he was a little off Of course from the government wouldn't make it illegal before the banks prevented you from buying all of Canadian banks currently do not allow cryptobies. Really? Wow.

So you can't buy stocks. You can't buy crypto. You have to stay just anything that threatens the status quo is gonna be stamped out. It's impossible. It's right out in the open. Right. Right out in the fucking open.

I hope that those guys, I hope that that silver shit is true. It's impossible. It's insane. Right out in the open. Right. Right out in the fucking open. I hope that those guys, I hope that that silver shit is true and that they run up a bill, an astronomical bill. That would be Billious. That would bankrupt. That would bankrupt. JP Morgan, because they have so much silver, and they had to fill in all that fucking silver and buy it as the price is skyrocketing.

Right? Because they buy it from somebody who has to buy it from somebody else and every buy pushes it up, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. God, they'll be fucking great if they did that. It's gotten worse since this article is written. Basically, your card will be declined if you try to purchase through any of the major banks. So you're allowed to sit there and keep your money. Mm-hmm.

But you can't buy anything with it. Right in the pussy, Shane, I hope your email address is... The story you told about Fucker in the Pussy Guy and your newest episode sounded almost identical to what happened here in Canada, Toronto, to be precise, except the reporter tried to go after the job of the guy that said it. Oh, that's great.

God, that's so funny. Just her reaction. Oh, crying. You're gonna, man, that's how do you deal with just like everyday adversity? If you react like that to, like she just like, she basically went to pieces without wailing, you know? And then talked about it the next day.

Yeah, like, continuing to melt down about it. 100% like about her. It wasn't, it's not about you. She's a super joke. It fucking kids. You've never driven by, just like, yeah, I mean, fuck you, bitch. My brother yelled someone off his bike once.

So the fucking fancy pants tells that story. You fell off his bike. Yeah. What did he yell? He just scared the shit out of him. Ha, ha, ha, ha. One or two of the guys were identified as Hydro One employees, which at the time are probably still is a branch of the guys were identified as Hydro One Employees, which at the time are probably

still is a branch of the government owned, branch of government owned city electricity providers. The news cost the guy's job for a passing comment that is a well-known joke even back then in 2015. What's even funnier about the story is that after making this public spectacle of firing these deviance and latching onto the momentum of the story, they were hired back on six months later I have no idea of the same story you're talking about, but it's extremely similar. It's not the same story and Discord said that was them

Really? Yeah. What are they there now? We must talk. Yeah, no, let me see if he said it was. He said that was him in it and he didn't want to be outed Ham radio disproves the flat earth. Ham radio uses the atmosphere and the curvature of the earth to broadcast around the globe. Or that's what they tell you. Look, the guy thought moon light was cold. I'm telling you, as I said on the bonus episode, that is how I keep my food fresh for years on end.

If the earth was flat, the signal would just get lost. Checkmate, yeah, you got them. The only problem, you just have to have an electric fence around to keep the werewolves away. Otherwise, moonlight makes things colder. Low. That being said, I have been curious about the alleged Nazi Arctic base. Yeah. Keep being curious. Curiosity. Comedy is the heart of humanity in free speech. Hey, I was having fun over on paypig.org and I remembered how much fun the internet used to be when I was younger. It's a wild thing just being able to express yourself and say whatever you want. You could be as outrageous as you wanted and satire was alive and well. I thought about why this is and why this is so important for me.

Then I remember being a kid and listening to Bill Hicks and George Carlin through a veil of comedy, they made you think about ideas you weren't really exposed to before. And they made you question things your parents taught you. Had their voices been stifled and silenced, like they probably would have been today, I would be a very different person. And I'm guessing many other people would be too. Yo, for sure. Yeah. You just have a generation of NPCs. Like, yeah, it's just people with totally undeveloped brains.

Colin was already beside himself toward the end of his career with just how, you know, one of his quotes, you know, political correctness is fascism disguised as manners. I remember that one. Comedy is very important. It helps us look at the horror of reality and laugh nervously instead of cowering away. It's a crucial first step in understanding the bad things around us and inside of us, that's true.

If you're not allowed that, you can never grow as a person. If you kill comedy, the empty husk of free speech just dies a slow death sooner or later. Preserving this is what the Dixho and the community of Morlocks is about for me. I hope you guys never stop doing it and I hope I make it to a road rage someday. Much love to both of you and Sean do so

on the fan from Serbia. To both of you and Sean, to both you and Sean. Oh, that's just, to both of you. That's good letter. Good letter. Good letter. Yeah. An enormous fallout.

New Vegas mod canceled over drawings of children. God. Hey, Dick, I thought this might interest you. If you read this on the show, just call me farmer D. Farmer D. Not sure if you've seen this yet, but there's a huge mod. The fuck does Farmer D grow? Dongs?

I don't know. Farmer Dongs. There's a huge mod that was coming out for an old game, Fallout New Vegas, a ton of creators put years of their personal time into this labor of love, basically creating an entirely new game. The mod launched last week, and it's, the mod launched last week,

and it's already been removed by the creation team because one of the creators posted, quote, posted animated pedophilia content on their personal artist account. It was my little pony. Yeah, like, my little pony, the drawings, yeah, yeah, doing sex. Sort of ponies. Yeah. Yeah. So they deleted the entire project because one of the devs, one of the creators posted my little pony. This is where we're at.

Yeah. So now all the creators that worked on the game for years did so for nothing, at least for now, and anyone who wanted to play it is so well. All because of drawings, totally independent of the game itself. Yeah. Here's a link to the article.

Do you wanna see these drawings? I just talking about. I mean, are we gonna end up in jail talking about. I mean, is that, are we going to end up in jail? Maybe. I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's five fucking years later. They can come after you for posting a meme, a joke about voting by text.

So yes, we've got five years later. We should see them. Yeah, you know, that meme you posted five years ago telling people to vote by text, we finally figured out how to prosecute you. You're going to jail. And if Trump had won, it would be eight years ago that were coming after you.

I mean, you could imagine, yeah, I can't find it. Is anybody having a chat? I can imagine. You could imagine what my little ponies, yeah, doing porno stuff is. Sure. Any of the acts. Imagine. You could imagine what my little ponies, yeah. Doing porno stuff is. Sure. Eddie the X. Great stuff.

By the way, the whole keep your toe thing. Remember when Angelina Jolie, remember Angelina Jolie keeping a vial of Billy Bob Thornston's blood? Yeah, I remember that. That was chill, okay. Do you remember that? I do, I remember that.

There's no big deal. Chicks can be a little kooky. I guess. All right. Anybody got it? I think Lacey should be here now. Yeah. Are we talking to anybody this week? I don't know. What about Krippin' Posting Their Ls?

Ask me about my album. Yeah, what is it? Mass Bleak. Krippin' Jesus had an update. I know, that's what I was just going to say. You want to talk to them? I do. He might be watching.

He might be watching football. Advice, hey, Dick. How do I get in there? I don't know. I know that's what I was just going to say. You want to talk to him? I do. He might be watching. Yeah. Might be watching football. Advice. Hey, Dick, how do I get over dying? I just turned 25. I realized the other day that I'm going to die. And there's nothing I can do about it. You 25 and you just realized that? Seems a little late. What have you been, no one let you know that? I've been depressed ever since. It doesn't feel like there's a reality finally. Like you go, oh yeah, you're like 18, you're like,

I'm gonna die, but I don't know, man. Like I think that it doesn't seem real for a lot of people. Yeah, dying. Yeah, like even you know, but it's such a, it almost seems it's super abstract, I think, a lot of people feel. It's, and then at some point it's like, it's clear you're gonna die.

Like, how am I gonna die? Yeah. What's it gonna be like? What's, like, in what situation? Am I gonna be in a hospital? Well, I, all of a sudden, you know, well, I try to shit about it. You think about it?

Shit, shit too hard and just stroke out on the toilet. Yeah. No, I'm just saying it really into the different ways you could die. How? Do I get a terminal illness? Is it gonna be cool? I just turned 25, I really feel like I'm gonna die

and there's nothing I can do about it! You're gonna be shocked at the number of things that there's nothing you can do about, young man. Right. I've been depressed ever since. Oh no! Depressed about dying? You should be happy, that's the best part! Oh no matter how bad it is, at least I'm gonna die sooner than later.

Thank God! Uh, I've been depressed ever since, doesn't feel like there's a point to doing anything. Oh no. I think that might be the, I think the opposite might be true. You should look at it as the opposite. Yeah. You could do whatever you want.

What do you do? What do you do to deal with this? Well drinking, regards. True enough. What do you do to deal with the? Well drinking, regards, fill. What do you do to deal with the realization that you're going to do? Well, first of all, just unrealize it. I mean, there's so many things.

Yeah. God, liquor, whores, find one. Yeah, don't commit to it. You can get into God's liquor cabinet. You won't ever worry about dying again. Yeah. Whatever you can, whatever you find, a crippled Jesus is you there.

I'm not even talking about God's horrors. There's a part where you make an 18 year old girl, your sex slave, do I get? What's wrong with that? Oh, about the 18 year old girl, your sex slave. Yeah, well it's not pedophilia. Except for the slave part. Well, that's not legal. Well, but I mean, is it slave in my stuff. Well, it's legal. It's not pedophilia, except for the slave part. Well, that's not legal.

Well, but I mean, is it slave and? Oh, 17, oh, that case. Quotes. That's it, that's it. Yeah, get out. Well, then. Get out, 17. Mo, no, absolutely, absolutely unacceptable.

Kripple Jesus, where are you? You there? I'm here. No, you're here. How you doing? What's your update? Oh, man, what can you hear me? I'm on my phone. Yeah, you're good. You're fine. I'm now watching football this time. Oh, yeah, there's no super balls next week. Yeah, yeah, there's nobody's playing this week, right? Yeah. So what's your what's your update? So we last left off. I was having a meeting with the head of the humanities department,

which is her boss. Okay, your teacher's boss. This is a teacher who's muting, is deleting your work and stuff and said you were intimidating her. Yeah, I have a, I have a I have a matter screen shot of the work she deleted and I have another quiet sweaty male. She's that another one. That's why she's in control. This one was actually funny because I was in here in this

discord at 3 a.m. in the morning. And that's when it was set out. What was the content of yours that she deleted? For the assignments? Yeah, I'll post it in the discord. Okay. It's a little hard to read because it's from my phone, but. Yeah, it is a little hard to read.

Oh, there we go. Oh, God, okay. So this is what you posted that God deleted? I am three through, I'm three for three. I have a hundred percent completion average when it comes to deleting. That's better than me. Yeah, you gotta up your damn shot.

I'm winning. I'm really going to kill you. I believe, McKinion is mostly correct in her theory. There is a part of the theory that I disagree with. When a woman is presenting herself as a sex object, I believe it is not always at the will of a man. There are plenty of cases where the women presents sexually subservient to the man for her own personal gain. Oh, you think?

The best real life example I know of is a case of a poker dealer. It's, you're talking about your local poker horse field research. You women study class, and this is if this is a fucking nightmare. What are you doing? We're talking about women sex job, you're saying, it reminds me of story. My local poker room. This hooker is always in there. Yeah.

Oh my God. Like the question was, when women are in relationships with their boss, because they're forced into it, this mechanic, this mechanic, her theory basically is that every boss coworker relationship is rape. Okay, yeah, yeah. So I'm basically refuting of that coin. And I wanted to tell the story about meaning with her boss because it was so money. So you read that failing Fox one that she also deleted. Yeah. When I got into the

zoom meaning, it was just him justifying why he deweated that one. And he said that I was dead naming, failing Fox. And now you need to do it. Wait, what? What? What? You're dead naming a famous, a martial arts fighter? What the fuck is dead naming?

Dead name is using your Gubs and Gender name. Cause I guess I don't remember this, but I guess I referred to failing Fox. fighter what the fuck is because I guess I don't remember but I guess I referred to a family box as him and then he goes on

to say that that's the same as calling the black guy the god and then we have lost all degrees of everything and my mom my mom is in the corner

What aren't you part black? No, it's just from Detroit I'm not Jesus. I'm all white. You're all white. Oh, I Got to thank my mom because at this point in the meeting I'm swamped over laughing Because it was so funny and my mom died She basically Transwades my opinion and into lib turd. Yeah, and she said She said I'm saying you know as the educator I really disagree with the idea that your students are not allowed

to give out their varying opinions. Yeah. And that, that, that, that. Yeah. She, uh, she really saved my ass. So I have to banker for that. Yeah. And, um, when I, when I showed her the, I have the text message to when I showed her that she deleted my work

This is what she said Why does she delete your work like she doesn't want anyone else to read it or doesn't want it to exist right? Not in mind she said she says it's disruptive to the class. Okay. And that particular one about the transgender fighter, she's actually lying and saying that there's a trans in the class and there's not a trans in the class. How do you know for sure? Yeah. Well, I am responsible for that. Because the people in the discussion board are generally, they don't always agree with what I'm saying, but they're generally being respectful about it. I think that she has just mad at me.

And because of the student privacy laws and all of that, she's just pretending that other people are mad at me too. Well, I really get the sound. Sure, that's true to it. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah, you can't prove that she's not doing that. I remember that, you know.

All kinds of people were upset by this thing that crippled Jesus post. Of course. Yeah. We got to get, we got to get them out of there. Well, what's the next step? We're they going to do to you now? Oh, right. I didn't remove the rap. I'm going to take it to the head of the university and go and stretch it up top. I wanted to sue my mom said, no, I'm going to request a meeting. And we're going to talk it out. And then after that, you can sue if you want to.

After that, you can sue. You're going to raise money for a little suit. I'm trying to find the text message. Oh, here it is. Here it is. So this is what my mom did defend the Nazi delete your posts. Oh my God. What are you going to school for? By the way, that you're encountering all these going for marketing. I basically want to be crippled and draper. Let's my

go. And yeah, yeah, good. You really want you want to work in advertising? is going to be crippled and draper. Let's my goal and my life. Yeah. Yeah, good. You really want to work in advertising? Yeah, I love the idea of lying creatively. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting paid for it. Yeah.

So what is your status in the class right now? I mean, are you the bad boy? Are things on hold until they sort this out? Are you allowed to comment or you? Yeah, what's the deal? I did and I'm gonna play this for I have clips of it for Carl But I was allowed to say something last week and she asked the question if you were a different gender, would you be a different person? And she called on me. She called on me. And I said, I said, my personality would

be the same, but my wife would be a lot easier. He's always got something. And then she pauses, she pauses and she goes, mmm, really. I know. There's more scholarship opportunity than you. There's a lot of free dinners, free houses. And at that point, you're free dinners. She should be mad at no one but herself. Why would you call on you? And then as a set up, the follow up was her big mistake. Why do you think it would be easy? Or really?

Yeah. Well, and that's the thing with these class wide emails too, is she's trying to, she doing the thing where she calls me out, but she doesn't say my name directly. Oh, I hate that shit. And she probably thinks that she probably thinks that I'm intimidated by that, and I'll step down, but she doesn't realize that. The right step in anywhere. It's so funny. She's finally met someone who is way more oppressed than any, all these dumb thought experiments.

Like, imagine if you were a woman and you were born without a head, then how would you feel? Right. Yeah. I mean, kind of got a lot of going on over here. I don't know if you, I don't know if any of your brides could open up your eyes and take a look at anything other than yourselves. I'm experimenting with the idea of buying one of those store-by-wigs and I'm just gonna go in there

and pretend that I'm trans for a couple weeks. That's well, no pretend that your trans be trans. Pretend that you're just somebody else. I'm the new student. I think that yeah. I'm also on that right now or Optimus Prime. But you know gender is the. So that could change. Oh, did she say, did she says she wants to weigh in on the teacher's opinions as a trans woman and a trans black person? Really? Did you, your choice? Oh, boy.

Wow. Let's see. What a metamorphosis. Did you, what are you doing? Where are you? Yeah. I'm doing great. I'm doing digital.

I know. No, that's been a while. Yeah. What's going on? What's up? I haven't been on because I've been setting up my own new show, The Void Gases, that I do with Riley, where we talk about being trans black. Oh, okay. Is Riley trans black, too now? Well, Riley, I mean, Riley was just born black. Riley was raised by black people, so he just, he couldn't help it.

I see. I see. Yeah, you know that. Oh, no, he's, yeah, he's definitely. Yeah, he's a foster, foster boy. He does let me laugh. He puts his fist over his mouth. I know that.

No, no, no, he's got, you know, like honestly, I could totally see that with him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Well, we go into it in depth in episode two of void gazes, episode three coming soon. So what do you want to say about crippled Jesus' teacher?

Well, yeah, it's just ridiculous to say that it's the same thing that that risk-generating someone is the same thing as calling a black person the N word. Have you ever accidentally called the black person the N word? Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry. No, no. Well, I've also never accidentally called a white person the N word either. Like, if I do it, it's with much deliberation. It's not because, like, on site that word might have sparked into my head as happens with white people when they look at black people and think that word. Yeah. No.

Like, it's, yeah, I recently learned, I had never known anything about my own heritage growing up. I Just found out that there were slave owners in my own lineage. So for me, it'd be like, you know, I For me to call a black person the N word would be so much more of a huge goal in my own mind than somebody would be so much more of a huge goal in my own mind than somebody misgendering me, you know, as a first generation trans woman. What kind of slaves? Who own slaves in your lineage? I have no, I don't know that much detail. I was just told that there's somebody, somebody way back had him. I was like, oh, shit. I mean, that's gonna be a lot lot harder people to get into the black club. But you know, with the race war happens, I am not siding with the whites. You're not responsible for what your ancestors did though. Raise your real distractions from buying game stocks. That's

what all of these wars are distraction from buying and holding game stocks and silver. My fucking chain link finally increased in value from when I bought it when when you were first typing it up because of all this. Yeah. I've been quite happy. Good. It'll go. It'll keep going until it's illegal. I'll end it all into Bitcoin. You transferred it all into Bitcoin? Yeah, it's probably smart. Yeah, I think it'll be Bitcoin's here to stay. All right. Does anything make you a rage, did you? here just stay. All right, does anything make you a rage, did you? Yeah, what makes me a rage is people not listening to my new hit song on SoundCloud.

I will link it right now. And everybody, everybody go listen to my music with me and me and Riley have a group called Visier in the Golden Witch. We just put out a new album and everybody been sleeping on it. I just don't know how to promote music other than to yell about it like this. So here you go. I was a down there podcast too. I talked about how if you really hate the government,

what you have to do is get out of the welfare and get more of the money away, like I do. I mean, the idea that we're ever gonna get a stimulus again after what Wall Street Bets has done, like the way they're framing it as, uh, this is an alt, right? This, this is a group of racists and Nazis and they're using stimulus checks to harm the system. It's like, oh, well, I mean, we're never, you're never going to get one again. Okay. Just, just don't, like, don't make the story. Just say you're never getting one again fuck you as punishment

Where is where's this song did you all play at the end of the show? Oh Here I'll just leave it to you Speaking of end of the show songs by the way I convinced mom's boyfriend to make a song for the show. So that's you. Good. That's in process right now. That's gonna be great. Is he a listener? No, no. And I even better.

I made him. I just said that you guys thought he was really cool on one of the news. What is such a, you're such a fucking asshole. That's great. Uh, they think you're really cool. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait. All right. Uh, there it is. Okay. Skip the hate. I'll play it at the end. Did you thank you? Yeah. That's our that's our whole album. Me and Riley's new album. Um, you guys are quite a team. Yeah, any any track in particular,

out content. Yeah, any track in particular. Oh, man, from this album, the one that you would probably want to play on the show would be clouded. Okay. That's like the most smooth, cool track on here. Okay. Appreciate that. All right, boys. Angrel. All right, people. Thank you. We'll appreciate that. All right boys. Anger all right people Thank you. He's out humans. See I'm saying. I'd everybody goodbye. See ya

Good God. Oh, cripple Jesus They're gonna get him They're gonna run him out of school if you're in a chair if you're in a chair How could you not be like that like I mean what you just gotta, like I'm taking a lot of shit here. You just have to create your own entertainment everywhere. All right, let me get some, let me read some of these reddit. John died, my rage is what I'll call

a masculated vehicle design, which almost every modern vehicle seems to be designed by the same wonderful people that make baby dick water bottles, phallic sippy cups, knives, with Fisher price handles and blunted tips. Man crates, I do fucking hate those. Man bags. Wait, what's a man crate?

It's like they send you a box of garbage, like a loop crate. Yeah. Oh, but it's just man stuff. Like shaving shit or something rate. Yeah, oh, but it's just man stuff. Like shaving shit or something or. Yeah, and the toys, like a hunting knife. Yeah, coming of those, like, it's a monthly subscription thing. How many fucking hunting knives can you get?

And those pants that were popular for a minute that make it look like you shit yourself. Where the crotch starts like six inches lower than they should. If the way a designer views their consumer is reflected in the final design, then they view their consumers as literally retarded, neutered cow people, enormous, dickless children. Those fat cunts and floating chairs from that shitty Pixar movie, my girlfriend made me watch. That was a good movie.

Well, Wally, yeah. Solus subhumans that don't deserve human dignity that can't be trusted with anything sharp. Perhaps too, it's particularly also the result of the dicklessness of the designers themselves. Certainly modern safety standards have gone a long way in cucking the aesthetic of vehicles, yet it doesn't account for anywhere near all of it. And still there are examples of modern vehicles that don't look like what I'm describing. Regardless of the cause, which is a few different factors working at once, the end result is a generation of vehicles designed for tasteless women and psychologically circumcised.

Yeah, they're just, everything is just soft. It is real soft. Yeah, it's just, it's just soft. I don't know how else to describe it. Yeah, like it's just, there's no. Basil. There's no, you know, emotion invoked when you see,

you know, when you see like a car that is just sitting there, if it's designed well and you're, as a dude, because, you know, dudes like cars. Yeah. And it's like, you look at your car, damn, that looks good. How many times do you say that about any vehicle design this day? I don't know why everyone was telling me that cyber truck,

it looks like trash. Oh yeah, yeah. It looked like, I mean, it looked like something that a child drew and then a 3D machine just shitted out. It looked horrible. Yeah. At least it was different, but fuck, it's still a horrible, too long your wife fucking with your mirrors

and your AC vents, but I damn it. My rage is when you finally get the crowning achievement of a vehicle ownership and you get your rear view mirror and heater vents pointed in the perfect spot. This phenomenon only happens one time per vehicle purchase. The next time you get in the vehicle, you realize your mirror is pointed down at your crotch and the vents are pointed sideways. At that point, you notice the faint aroma of vanilla, which isn't going to come out of the leather anytime soon. And then

as that sinks in your wife, drove your brand new truck, effectively ruining it with their stinks and their smells. No matter how hard you try, from that point on, you will never get your vents pointed in the right spot. That's funny. That is more difficult than you would think. Yeah. You're like, oh, God. Yeah.

You know my car, there is a, there's some kind of a, like a knob. I don't even know what it's for. It's something for the trailer. It's like a thing that you squeeze. It's some kind for. It's something for the trailer. It's like a thing that you squeeze. It's something for the trailer. It works with the trailer somehow, I think. I don't know what it's for.

Never used it. Is it for lighting? Is it for maybe a trailer hitch release or something? Oh, I don't know. But it's right where my kneecap goes. Right where my right kneecap goes in the car is this kneecap jabber that they put in there that serves no purpose other than jabbing me in the knees. It's horrible.

It's really trying to fix what that is. I don't know, but it's some kind of thing. It looks like a little switch so you can squeeze together, but the point is it's hard and it fucks up my knees on it. Oh, just clip your ears. The mirror will never be truly centered again. It will always catch just a little of the roof or rear seat just enough to let you know that it isn't perfect. Here's a solution, a mirror and AC save button.

Like you have for your seats and stuff. Yeah. Not just for the seats, but for everything. Yeah. Yeah. Not just for the seats, but for everything. Yeah. Yeah. Bull catty cool. Snack cereal companies, fucking up their lottery prices with new tech bullshit. I used to be pretty, it used to be pretty simple. You buy a chocolate bar and you find the golden ticket and you go to the chocolate factory. Now, if you buy the chocolate bar, you go to the website, you get them your email,

you sign a stupid agreement, you download an app, you manually type the code in, which the guy working at the shop already used. It's so tedious and unfit. No, I don't do it. Literally, it is horrible. Just give me the, hey, you lose. You didn't win.

Yeah. Okay. Whatever. He already wants to screw this coke, use this QR code and your QR factory and see what you might see the enter to win this kind of like what? Either way, we win because we just fucking spam your shit all day long. So fun at all. I don't want to go around doing taxes to win a prize, to win a free soda.

Yeah. Yep. Developer rage. When the client I am supporting insists, they really need to call me about a request they have because it's too complicated to explain an email. 90. Complicated for them. Yeah, 90% of the time, 95% of the time,

it means they haven't figured out what the requirements are and want you to hold their hand while they figure out. That's true. requirements are and want you to hold their hand while they figure out. Fisty penguin, my favorite is when women tell you about a dream they had in which you cheated on them. Are they cheated on them? Oh, or some other kind of Harlequin drama. I've never had that.

I mean, women and dreams is, you know, you never had a woman say that they know a dream that you cheated on them. Uh-uh. Oh, wow. No. A shocking. Really? My favorite things to dream about. Oh. Huh? No. On that note, my rage is Amazon, shared Kindle libraries. My wife's library is linked with mine to share some books. So now my Kindle's homepage is full of self-improvement books and soft core poor novels. That's cool

Well, let's see. I don't lacy was supposed to be in here at one You know oh My god, she flaked. Oh, no No Oh my God, she flaked. Oh no. No. Oh. Oh. Why? This is Bender.

Give her a reason. At a Bender last night. Really? Me too. Yeah. And I showed up. Well, that's, yeah. Oh God.

All right. AC. Oh God. All right. See, dammit. Yeah, she's not, she's not coming. And the women posting their L's guys not coming in. Wage gapped. She got a Wage gapped. Oh yeah, buddy. Funny.

Anything else? We'll do voice meals. This is the Dic show, Patreon.com slash Dic show. See you next Tuesday. This is Digi Bros. Or Digi Knee, Digi Nays, and Riley's, um, skip the hate, uh, clouded. Here we go. Clouded It's been a curse yet, everybody agrees It's my first year at the worst here to die when the beat's But I'm arriving in the cleats to claim it for me

So I'm on any who competes with me Non-complete My freshman class is who I seek to beat I wreak a sweep and fucking my girlfriend gushly And maybe yours, nothing's off limit on the floor He did much more in dirt and water It's a good song Order, order, order, order, order, fuck your

I like Riley shit like me too I like his voice Yeah He's super late back He's got a cartoon voice I know He kinda does Giki's on me

If it's not a let you think it on me Tweaking on me If I'm dealing with some Greek shit bro Do you giki on me? Leave you leaking if you're sick and on me Match your girl we got got to freak out slowly She blow me nice and those who's freaky homie Thanks for sharing her See you're in this area again, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I'm no spare, and I Rich like a Pokemon Sim But a Pemp that won't slip But as it's a take to hit a bitch That's that and this is this

No dry snitch but no tonight And I'll be trying to be light I'm trying to be rich I'm dying to be light New idea in this bitch But rollin' deep Plot it Let me mob like a riot

Everywhere I show up Got the homies so bright 20 came up I'm flying 2020 was trying We all survived it Lots of folks died sick, and from restrictions too Both killed people, lockdowns wasn't no substitute

Been born stubborn, became a stewed, I refused to believe you two More than news, fuck your views, I just need views from a relatable few Camey that fuel, and I'll wait for you to go on this day to be rude How did fuck what you direct to say and play you? How did you do round to say and play you? You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. guy who would go to the portapates and spray them down and sanitize them. Yeah. Like after every single person used them. So he's dead. Right. I mean, yeah, he's one guy who's going to get it. They had a bunch of them. It was like old catchers.

Yeah. They used to have, you know, nine or 12 catchers in a game and baseball before they had catchers mitts. That was like him because they kept dying of coronavirus right away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's see here. Let's do some voicemails. I can't believe Lacy didn't.

She was all about it. I mean, I'm definitely, yeah, I'm definitely coming. She's never seen her in a long time. Stringing. That's alcoholism. That's letting it affect your life. If you show up, you are not an up, you do not have a problem. I mean, how drunk you are, if you show up to work,

there is no problem. But there is some 100% truth to that. Tethering to responsibility, like that, you know? Yeah, you may, other people may not agree that you're doing the job, you should be doing. It doesn't matter, you show up. But you did get there. And showing up is like 90% of life. They say functional alcoholic,

because it's not alcoholic. They say alcoholic. If you're an alcoholic, functional alcoholic, it's the functional part. That's what's important. Take note of that. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, well, there are a lot of alcoholics who they keep it together for work. They get fucking hammered and sloshed and fuck up their personal relationships, you know, afterwards all that relationship. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up.

He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. He comes up. really weird, you know, what part of their life, you know, kind of suffers. And what keeps matters more than your family and friends to, to a lot of minute does. Yes.

Yeah. Cause work never, you know, oh, you get what you put in at work with women, kids, they just take from you. Work always gives you something back. You can negotiate with work. I don't think I'm getting enough back from work. Can I get you what are you going to go to your wife and those little terrorists? Yeah. No. Yeah. Can I get a little bit of respect? A little bit more? Right. I was like, well, I'll tell you what you know. Oh, my God. Work would never

scream at you in such a way. Ask for a little bit of money to say no, it's not in the budget. Right. You're free to go elsewhere., it's not in the budget. Right. You're free to go elsewhere. They lie to you directly. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, we had a rough quarter. I'm going to go share your wife.

You're going to be losing. She's going to get it out of you. There we go. Hey, Dick, I just want to say the thing that pissed me off the most about that stupid flattery, motherfucker, is that oil is not dinosaur juice. It's always been algae. There weren't enough fucking dinosaurs to make all of the oil.

It's algae that was in the ocean that got compressed under, like, ocean, whatever. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's the ocean of Russian Greek art and in algae. It's not dime-sort you'm sort of just from that time. I don't want to coincidence you also think the earth is flat. Sean, I love you. I love you too.

Call me back buddy. I was at, I keep getting a no collar, no collar ID. It's probably him. Probably him. Yeah, over and over. Maybe I'll answer next time. So that flat earth guy say one thing that was even remotely, like every single thing. I thought it was so funny that you were,

like I was a hundred percent entertained. And you were actually, as far as you go offended at certain things, it's usually, it's usually the most common, the most common is called. I know. Come on, the moon is called. It was fucking hilarious. You know what? all I can say, well, let me, here, I'm gonna, Dick, what I want you to look at the light. Can you look at a, look at a light for me, right?

No, no, what shape is it? No, no, hang on, no, I'm serious, do this, do this for me, look at a light. Okay, now while you're looking at that light, I want you to tell me, if your knees were on the back of your legs, which bathroom would you use? Yeah. You see how one doesn't have anything to do with the other?

The earth is flat. That's nonsense. Clearly. I love it. Also, it's about God. That's what the ultimate, ultimate, ultimate, it's all to be designed as a stop believing in God. Right.

Well, and also, you know, thank God that the, you know, Felix Baumgartner, you know, or whatever his name is, you know, they got the GoPro's up to warp the shape of the Earth because those two videos, I'm sure that they're at eye level and flat, you know. Thank God. Those didn't go out. You know, those didn't get out. I'm sure he's seen them somewhere, but you can send a satellite up into space for $8,000. It doesn't take a lot to, it takes less than his reward to send a physical fucking camera

up into space. He wants to, you can come. He wants to be special. Yeah. Uh, okay. Here we go. Here's what makes me rage. God does not want me to invest in dogecoin whatsoever. Like we're going to invest in our way.

Fairly any places that fucking trade it, you know, like Coinbase doesn't do it. All these other marketplaces that, you know, newsweek and all these other places talk about that, yeah, that definitely trades it, don't trade it. One of the biggest ones by Nance doesn't even support my state because of licensing issues. And then there's like a guy called Kraken and that's just getting hacked like fucking crazy and getting shut down. So, you know, the earlier place that people talk about, I was like, oh, why not try Robin Hood? Guess what?

Robin Hood removed that fucking ability. Yeah. So, now I'm screwed. I can't get Dogecoin and cash in on a fucking meme. Don't get that shit by the shitty Dogecoin. Isn't, it's just, it's wild to imagine that the, that in that stocks have been gamified into a casino so much that people will millennials, as zoomers are just taking their money and putting it into meme crypto coins in such a way that will leave nothing. Nothing for the stock market, nothing for the,

nothing for, imagine an entire generation just taking trading their cash for crypto. And then saying, well, I mean, I don't know. Imagine all of the Wall Street best people saying, oh, you know, we just put all our money in crypto and we're not paying taxes on it. Like we just have it at home. We have it in a, we stamped our, we stamped our seeds onto metal

and we buried them in the fucking yard. Cause we're never gonna sell it. And you guys, you have to buy it now. Yeah. Imagine holding, imagine just eliminating, eliminating all the cash. Well, yeah, we just, we just transferred into this whole new system. Fuck you guys. Socks for you. I guess. It's great. It's fucking great. Yep. Hey, thanks for setting up the Fediverse. I don't really have anything to say because I'm

just, you know, I'm just drunk at four o'clock in the afternoon. Cool. On a Friday. Good for you. So it's less socially unacceptable uh... i i have a question for shan uh... what is what is something he does not know about animals oh i don't know a ton about animals like what what's something you don't know you're good like cabbage and sausage

you're good at it right what is that about about cabbage i love a lot of other things i will not name what those things are, but they, you know, good, good, good. I missed that. Good heads on me. Lacey also teased because like, I really need someone to explain to me this game stock thing. I was like, oh, man, I get really nail her ass with some explaining. It's better than sex. Explain to a woman. I was going to be like that picture, you know, that guy explaining to Paris Hilton. Yeah. I was going to be like that, I was gonna be like that picture, you know, if the guy

explaining to Paris Hilton, yeah, I was gonna be like that. I was looking forward to that today. I see. And she fucking took that bail on that. Amazing what people do to you every week. I know. Hey, Dick, I got a problem for you uh... biggest problem in the universe armchair uh... investor you know that all the bullshit going on the market all the crap everyone thinks that they're fucking genius

when it comes to the stock market and it is absolutely funny to watch everything go up and everyone's what's going on for example everyone's face. What's going on? For example, everyone's doing Robinhood for, oh my god, you can't make me not by stock. It's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, These motherfuckers did not read the terms of the conditions and the terms of the conditions state. At Robinhood, we can fuck you in the ass when you think that you're fucking up. But they clearly have to write to sell whatever the fuck they want.

The next thing that's my favorite one out of everything. Does anybody realize that making a joke saying that we're gonna get damn stop up to 420 is technically a pump enough theme and the eyes of a lot and you're trying to sue the people. We got legal analyst here. You can't do every Epstein and got away with it. You're trying to fuck them out of money. They will sue the shit out of you and fuck you. I know they're gonna win.

You don't fuck yourself. Yeah, that's why I dumped everything. I'm like, well, if they stop buying and only allow selling, they'll just sell it out of your account. There's no crime. They're going to break down the door, essentially. Yeah. The penalty could not be high enough to stop them from doing it. They'll just pay out.

They'll just settle. They'll just pay out. They'll just settle. They'll bankrupt the company. They'll get bought out by the bigger hedge fund. But for a moment, for a moment, I think it was, it's a little way from a total collapse. I think they were on the brink of totally running out of liquidity in the fulfillment houses, whatever they're called. I think they were right on the brink of it. God, and it's still, it's gonna get worse.

Because if you're not pulling all of your shit out of Robinhood right now, you're just asking to lose it. Yeah. Which is what happened in 2008? Everybody made, like, oh, we gotta get our money out. We gotta get our money out right now. Oh, we don't have it. Whatever. Silver's the way to go.

I don't know. Is that cut off for self-inprofessor's dog again? Anyway, the money that women demand from super flowers, roses, and diamonds on Valentine's Day could feed 17.4 million kids until they're 18 years old out of Africa. Wow. How many fucking people? That's more that that's too many kids that are demanded that are denied food because of the selfishness of women every day You believe that women are killing all of those kids with selfishness So if just a damn shame.

Our priorities. Our priorities, man. Our priorities, we should be helping kids. That's so important that the kids eat. It's so important to me. If I go to bed and a bunch of kids are not hungry, you're too worried about the fact that you're gonna die. I mean, right?

Yeah, just realize this. I just realized I're gonna die. I mean, right? Yeah, just realize this. I just realized I was gonna die, and there's nothing I can do. Look forever. Yeah, simple. Just don't die. Right.

Has anyone tried that? Yeah. I mean, it's just, you gave up like nothing. Right, you just accepted it. Just live forever. It's like, wait a minute. Get really into like life. I like blind.

If I think I'm actually gonna die, learn all kinds of life-prolonging technologies and read about them all day. And be obsessed with uploading your fucking brain into the, well, you know, this cloud eventually is gonna get destroyed one day with a supernova, so I'm only gonna be living before a billion, four billion years. The sun will explode white-pout

the entire cloud system and then i'm gone what's the point of doing anything right hey dick hey shan welcome to this week's life report oh yeah since we're both working from home we got a lot of free time on our hands we've been brainstorming some ideas to make a little extra cash. I signed up for some JavaScript courses so I could get a refresher thinking I could, you know, freelance a couple websites. Her plan to make extra cash is to quote, take Instagram

more seriously. Is that it? That's the life report. I'm sorry. I'm gonna take Instagram more seriously. I'm gonna take some JavaScript classes and try to do that. We're gonna monetize this shit. I'm gonna take Instagram more seriously.

Good. You know, I'm gonna really spend a lot more time taking pictures and putting them on Instagram. Circling the drain, dick. Circling the drain. What do you even say to that? Your wife? I think my reaction was appropriate. Yeah. Then you got to make it. I mean, you got to apologize for that then. No, no, good for you. Hey, fuck it. Luke's been silly fucking going through the backlog. I never listened to the whole show. I just found out about biggest problem like within the last year.

I don't know if you can still do the rage thing, but I feel like I have something that you and Sean would find pretty fucking interesting. Sure. So what makes me a rage is girls having no hobbies. I don't know if you've experienced this, I've had a couple of girlfriends and it's just constant, sulking text messages. Just like, oh, what are you doing? Oh, I'm doing this.

You know, I'm working, I'm doing school, I'm making fucking money. What are you doing? Nothing. Watching TV. Why, in every hobby, that every girl has about consuming things in some way, they don't make shit or like do shit,

they just like, I like to read, I like to watch movies, I like fucking TV. What do you fucking mean? What do you do though? It's not doing anything. I don't know, maybe I'm just a fucking idiot. I don't even know if you guys still do this. I gotta keep calling as I listen to the show.

Well, what do you think we're talking about now? I don't know if you guys, whatever, dick, go fuck yourself. Yeah. How would the show have changed that much? So we're not, right? So that women not having hobbies would not be an appropriate topic. Sure. They don't. They don't need to do anything.

They just get fucked. Oh, what do you, what are your hobbies? What do you mean? I just go, um, the bedroom. That's my, that's my hobby. That's all I. We've been doing that for millions of years. What are you talking about? An Instagram. Yeah. Well, how do you, how do you differentiate yourself from the other women? Well, I fuck you. They don't. You got me on that one you got to spread the balls ladies okay the Dixia David from big man town here and nothing gets me quite full unlike the

mouth full of the mouth like fucking being asked being approached out of nowhere and being asked you work here you work here isn't like, I'm going into Walmart and wearing the Walmart vest or like, what do you, what do I, I'll just be walking, I'll just be doing my own work. I'm going to be in this anywhere, anywhere. Anywhere, in some of the newer times

it's like in Walmart, Wegmans, like in Speedway, like so all these, like just random, I don't look like an asshole guy. I just, I wear my headphones, fucking everywhere that I go. I don't know how you could be, well, that's approachable looking. Like, and I don't have a name tag or any, I'm not like walking around like,

how well my name is. It's just, this sick implement, or like someone will just call like approach me be like, hey, do you know where the fucking great the preserves are or some shit like the preserves here? What do you 80 get out of my brain? I'm not even raspberry preserves. You got any preserves? Yeah. I was out of the college and feeling a couple days ago and that's what's been fucking boiling like make a lot of me that's a great store's though. Okay, fuck yeah back there. That comes up to me. Hey, uh, the coffee's empty. Uh, you should go refill the coffee and

like. He's got. There must be something he's not aware of. Yeah. He's not aware of how he looks. I have that fucking. Uh, we just look like you were. You look like you were there. Yeah. Have a nice day Sean and a dick of cheers. So that guy's just, that's his life. Everyone's always asking if he works here. Yeah. You got any pictures?

Okay, refill the coffee. Yeah. You're out of paper towels in the bathroom. Where it more? Yeah, the paper towels. What are we? I find the treasures. Uh, papier. All right. Our mass mass bleak album out a mass bleak.

What's going on? Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What's up, buddy? Yeah, what you got an album? There's flooding the chat with pictures of the Tommy to knocking album. Okay, what is it? Where is it? Lincoln. It's on SoundCloud and at bandcamp at massbleek.bandcamp.com, I actually just made it public right now.

Is it real? Is it real? Is it real? Huh? Massbleek, is it a real album? Yes. I mean, it's real in the fact that it's music and it exists. It's not like trying you try LP size album.

Were you trying hard though? Who is it like a joke? Oh, dad, I try so hard. Not too hard though. I love that he used LP. Oh, never. I love that he used LP. How many?

Oh, Sean, Sean. How many people know LP? How many people know LP? I went to music school. I want to be you when I grew up. I really want to be. No, shoot higher than all you engineer. What tracks do you want me to play? Vint's. I'll link it here in general. I see it. It's number one. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's like 10. Oh no, it's just two. What is the

inspiration for this this album? Well, I just kind, I've been making music my whole life, but I recently just started like making beats and shit and rapping and I recorded it and I sent it to a few of the dickheads. They really liked it. So I was like, cool, I'm just gonna make a ton of shit that kind of sounds like this. And now we're here. Right on. All right, let's hear it.

Here we go. There's a lot of dreams in the sky. I'm on my way. It's a bit of a stress for me. Dreams in the sky. I'm on my way. It's a bit of a stress for me. Poppin' out the hole. I got bitches down my throat.

I got bitches all the way. Really jumping off the pole. I got bitches down my throat. I got bitches all the way. Really jumping off the pole. I got bitches down my throat. I like that 90% there sounds like a strip club song You're a bad wizard lamb, what that spark of bar you live, what the coke above you know, what the come above your face, you ain't be the skinny come off your face It's my be playing it at children's playground somewhere Well, it's teaching you know proper hygiene should watch the come off you really should The shoe fits Get another one just like it. Rick Flair is another track on me. Just to get a prayer gets the person with my Yeah, I was feeding out the But I was taking that statement. I was taking out the

Flair is another track on me. Yeah, they're all named after like wrestlers and I see dense McMahon versus Oh, and no. So, yeah, all the songs I named after wrestlers and the covers I put on them are Stone Cold wrestlers and the covers I put on them are

Stone Cold Steve Austin with the wrestler that the song is named after I'm a big big wrestling guy. Yeah, I can there's no Medium wrestling fans Right, no, there's not there's either you watch it when you were a kid and you stopped when you turned like 13 Yeah, you are a 35 year old man trapped in the basement, just watching like tape trading Japanese wrestling and shit. Listening to their podcasts, the wrestlers podcast, or they talk of, right? That has, I'm actually, don't they call those shoots?

I was actually talking to, like where they tell the truth about, what's the best. Isn't that what they call those? Yeah, the shoots. Yeah, we're there honest about the show and like what I'm wrestling. I think so, yeah. Yeah, because there's the shoot, which is real and then there's a work which is fake.

So it's like, Edgen Brandy-Jorton don't actually fucking hate each other. They're actually best friends, but IRL, like Steve Austin hates Hulk Hogan, Iron Sheet Kates Hulk, everybody fucking hates Hulk Hogan. But those are the best ones we get like the real shit. That you know strippers have, they have completely forgotten how to do their jobs. Lockdown. Yeah. They expect they'll be rusty, you know, they're very rusty and fat. Well,

they're not getting the regular exercise that, you know, they have completely forgotten, they don't know about. Shake you down. Who the hooping? No, they need to get on that. And they need to get their shit digested properly. Yeah. Who the ho hoping also? Okay. Massbleek.bandcamp.com. What makes you a rage, buddy? Oh, actually, I called in about this a couple of weeks ago, but improper elevator etiquette. So when I'm trying to get off the elevator in my apartment, there's always like three fucking people that want to just walk right in, we end up running into each other. I'm like, oh, sorry, bud.

And I'm like, yeah, you better fucking say sorry, dude. Did you want him to understand? I'm gonna stand back and wait to see if there was anybody there that pisses me off. Right. I have to move in order for them to be able to occupy the space that I was just occupying. It's a, yeah, it's a very strange thing

when people don't understand that. Let's just embrace it. And then you do that little, you do that little, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, it's part of the dialect, dude. So TD's, the first word is, oh, oh, um, all right, get out of here. All right. So yeah, thank you. Thank you. I go to go to go to, thank you. What is it?

Where is it? Where is it? Massbleek. So dot bandcamp.com. I don't know. Maybe go to the void gaysers one and that one. Say which one you like more by them both. And then vote.

Shoot them out. Yeah, vote on which one you like more. Buy them both and then vote. Shoot them out. Yeah, vote on which one you like more. At patreon.com slash the Dukes Show. All right, buddy. See, see, see, see. See it. See, here, man. See, he's on video too.

What about that? All right, where were we? Voice males. Doing voice males. Hey, Dick, hey Sean. Hey, I've got a rage for you. It is it's Sean. Sean I don't know what you're doing last week but you really dropped the ball. What I do bonus episode has like a bunch of positive. One of them was about five seconds long. I thought

my players stopped working. Yeah. And the actual episode. That's on Dick. Dick was eating the fucking food for the last 20 minutes. Oh. Feeling like pig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to be honest, I don't blame dick. It's chocolate You can't help himself. We get food whether it be a president or sex. Yeah, dick. You want to explain this one? I believe I someone told you stuff if your job to spray and that's why I got the bottle. Yeah, I'm just gonna give you the shore up Sean Yep, you got it. You got it. Yeah, but I wanted it out now. Yeah, so I know. I wanted that bonus episode out now. Immediately.

I love that we got a call on that. Fucking guy. Five seconds of his time. Yeah. I love that we got so riveted. Uh, my player's broken. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Just fucking relax.

I, yeah, it's, actually five, you don't have like an auto, auto silence trimmer or something. No, no, that guy will be all right. Yeah, that guy will be all right. You're gonna wait till you get more complaints. Well, now it's just gonna be a bunch of joke complaints of people pretending that they were upset.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. It was a good decision to get it out as quickly as possible. Cause anything could have happened in the stock market. That's true. No refunds. I love that. You know what makes me rage bloopers, especially for youtubers. And they try to show these stupid like 10 or 20 second long things or even like two minutes long. Yeah.

Of them showing that they got a read off the script and, oh man, I flopped up that. Yeah. Haha. Haha. Haha. You know, it's better. Nobody gives a flying fuck. That shit was so annoying even singing films.

How people like fuck up lines. It's just so annoyed by it. Hey, guys, go fuck yourself. Yeah. My girlfriend loves. Loves bloopers. Loves, loves them. Every movie we watch, Shindler's List.

Oh, I hope there's some bloopers at the end. Yeah. I love the bloopers when they put the bloopers in the fucking credits. Yeah. What? Why am I learning about this now? Can't.

Shed-lupers list. I want a Shed-lurs list, bloopers. I think you just die after that, though. There's nothing that can... There exists bloopers in Shed-lurs list. Well, certainly. You've been called the bloopers. What would you call it?

Bloopers, bloopers to me to notes comedy. But yeah, where, you know, you... Well, they're not be comedy. Yeah, they're just pretending they're not in the Holocaust. Are you sure? I can't say I can't make that joke. Yeah. Wait a minute. I, why do I see someone's video? Yeah, I know. We've been watching that guy for a while. Why do I see that guy's on here? What's some blooperable scenes in Shindler's lists?

Were that girls in color at the end? That seems a little over the top, and I think. I don't know. Everything's black and white. Right. And that little girl I don't know. Everything's black and white. Right. And a little girl's in color. Okay. What if they forgot to colorize her?

That was the blooper. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I can't even remember anything from Schindler's list. I mean, either. Was he a good guy? Schindler?

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Dick. I saw you tweeting about uh... uh... i'm not sure if it would be hard to read the sentiment of the tweets but i was in severe serious or not but this whole thing where everyone's like well well the game stop things it might rule the the economy and what the fuck about that

uh... forget the guy's name was a nickel is bittle against andrew jackson did he threaten a depressed and then i think he actually started back on you i'm not sure you're more libertarian in the banking stuff that i am a bit of a Canadian but you might want to look into that i'm pretty sure that on thursday they just dropped out uh... you know twenty million dollars on public relations company to go and try to put up a whole thing

right because oh see me see such fucking liars there's such people fucking liars squeeze it out of fuck them yeah um so they all they said that they said that AMC is going to make issue a bunch of new stocks no stocks to sell

they just said that really why would they do that they've been they've sold a shitload of bonds, they got rid of all, so they said it, like, oh, they're just gonna flood the market with each other. Are you getting this from anywhere? Wow, Melvin, Melvin, they got rid of all the short they're making it up. They're making it up.

It's all lies to fuck with people. It's all of it. All of it is lies to fuck with people into selling. All of it. Well, we're shutting down buying our you know our fulfillment house they did a thing it's all very technical you wouldn't understand this is the plumbing of our financial system but you go oh so whatever you want that yeah yeah you can say buy one courage yourself you come on don't worry don't go anywhere else don't

go anywhere else we're gonna that limited buying limited buying limited buying it's gonna lower all day and it's a couple of your out of your arm that's what you're in the book you check you're following up with me this is what our tax money goes to uh...

you know you're really our one of you you're out of the't give a shit anymore like five fucking years really but fucking use with I don't fucking know fuck damn this is shit boys now I'm tired and fucking fucking work I just want a fucking guy fuck yourself death I love you Sean I love you too buddy

voice mail didn't go like you wanted it to. Maybe not, but this is what our tax money's gone to. Fucking work and shit, you know. Yeah, this is what our tax money is going to. Cops investigating, investigating, fucker in the pussy guy. Hmm. How do women exist in the world? I met a woman at the gas station. I was just going

in to buy like some fucking monster zeros or whatever. And before I can even walk through the door she's got windshield blipper fluid and said, excuse me, can you help me? I'm like, yeah, sure. And she's like, I don't work here. I'm soft to clean the windshield. Like I put it in. I was driving down the street. I could really be. I need this to clean my windshield. I'm like, yeah, that'll work you. And she's like, okay, how do I put it in I was driving down the street at the early speed. I need this to clean my windshield. I'm like, yeah, that'll work you. And she's like, okay, how do I use it? I'm like you just drink it or in your car, there'll be like a little symbol with your wiper on it. Yeah, it should be

easy once you get it open. And she's like, okay, thank you. I open the hood. Open the hood. And so that's got a lot like I made my purchase. I was out there and somebody was helping her put it in. And this bitch is older than I am. I'm 24. She looked like she was like 34 or something. I don't know. Absolutely no ability to refill the wiper fluid. Just got out of her relationship or something. It's always been done for. She forgot where the jiffy Lou is that does that when she gets her oil change. If she gets her oil change.

Maybe that's what it is. She's never been driving the same car for seven years. It's on the fucking same oil. So therefore she would have never had her wiper fluid replaced. I think I figured this out. Never even had one Iota of desire to learn how to do it at all. Is watching someone doing it and not paying attention somehow watching the whole thing and being enabled to, unable to absorb any of the information. Remarkable.

Okay, couple, let's do two more. Cool. About that. All right. What's up, baking Sean? Hey, this is Rex Fxton. Oh, yeah. You know, it makes me rage this week. There's people who can't put on a fucking condom. Okay. So if you don't know how to do this, all you have to do is you have to take the thing, take the condom and where there's the little rubbery circle tip point part, put it around the head of your dick and slide. It's like jel Yeah, back up. Back up. Back up.

Down. You dick. Whatever amount of shaft you have remaining, it's not that hard. I see, you know, sometimes you get, sometimes you check, they're like, oh, I don't think they're all sexy. I'm put this condom on it. And they open it. And they're stretching the thing around you like, like they're trying to saran wrap a

bowl of salad. You're cutting this thing on the... Beating it. It's just going to be this thing now. You're probably... Something that you do not want broken. Like in my nails, I'm not gonna do this. This is a very simple procedure.

And then you see, but then, I mean, that's checks. You expect them to mess up, right? Yeah. But then you see guys doing it the exact same way. Stretching it. Porn, of course, not like firsthand, from that gay. But you're watching guys put on the paper on their dicks. That's gay.

Rolling motion, sitting here, you don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it, like, a little bit of a tip. That's why this shit breaks. It's not because you have a... Oh, I need a magnum. Well, the conums don't fit. Well, they just break.

No, they don't break. Your dish isn't that big. You just put it on right. The roll, a little roll. God knows you. How was that not obvious? How was that not obvious? I can jerked it a couple times. That's all you do. Just roll it a little role. God, no, fuck, how is that not obvious? I can jerked it a couple times with all you do. Just roll it down the shaft. Fuck. God, damn.

Go fuck yourself. Stretching it out, I'm bad. I don't know. Conum's, they got to figure something out though. Something better. Like a sports version, sports condom. What makes it sports related? So it's like leaner, you know? Leaner? Yeah.

Like it only, I don't know how they do it, some kind of way. So it's not this giant raincoat that's over your dick that just removes any sense that anything's going on here. It's some kind of like's some kind of sports edition where it's just like a racing stripe around the side or something. And then a shunt that goes, I don't know. They got to come up with it though.

Okay, last one, last one. Do you want to say a rage? People who are around to experience an exonial time being below 99 billion. Yeah. Like, I don't know if I don't think they've been doing this anymore. You know, all the old signs of the numbers, of how many hamburgers are still over, like, billion, I don't know what that's going to be. 99 billion.

But there must have been a point where it was at, like, lower than that, and they were actually incrementing the sign. Yeah. But I don't know. I never got what's the lowest you can remember. Why don't they just up look like yeah, upstate to one trillion and then start keeping track again. Or just get rid of the signs. I don't know. Right. I feel like I'm being trolled. I want to see this fucking sign go up on how many burgers they sold.

That's so funny. I do want to know how many burgers they sold. I remember when it changed to billions and billions and I was bullshit how many come on billions of that now yeah they had a trillion yeah I don't know has a trillion I know no this is it yeah I don't know my rage is that McDonald's I like it like the people who are lucky enough to see the number of three ninety nine billion yeah but I'm fucking they know I can read no McDonald's court knows I'll tell you what no I'm fucking kidding. I'm fucking kidding. But I'm fucking kidding. They know, I can read. They know, McDonald's court knows. I'll tell you what, no, I'm sure they do. Why wouldn't they know?

They sold it. I, I can remember 65. That's how far back. 65 billion. Yep. Wow. I remember that. They got a giant billboard with how many people have died

from smoking and they're up counting constantly, keeping track of that. COVID deaths are being sent to my phone. But I have no idea how many burgers McDonald's is sold and that's the only thing I care about. Yeah, I know. You're right. All right, goodbye everybody. See you.