The Dick Show - Episode 247 - Dick on The Dog Show

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

I get the blob dog, spilling coffee, Texas vs. California in incompetence, Biden's plan for saving small businesses, Bill Gates vs. meat, Madonna vs. men, teachers vs. students, The Muppets are canceled, Adam from Houston shoots through walls and deals with a scat man; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Here we go, advice. That's just great advice. Oh, six pages of comments, great. Da da da da da da da da. More advice. Six pages of comments. Six pages of comments. From this week.

Yes. Jesus. There's a lot of comments that go around. A lot of commentary on this show. I'm sure there is. Whole industries of commentary, just around this show. Well, podcasts launched. Oh, fuck, cast.

There used to be no one can stick to it though. What do you mean? There used to be an after show, just about this show. Yeah. What it, it's hard to keep a podcast together. No shit. You know, it's hard to keep a podcast together. No shit. You know, people growing up, people would tell me they said, you know, I'd always go, why did the band broke up creative differences?

Like creative, it's like, dude, like it's hard to keep a band together. And never, never, I would never, never comment on creative differences again. Ah. What is that? Oh, was that, did George do that shit? That's what I said. On the first episode of this show, I said, oh, it's artistic differences.

That's right. Oh, boy. I get that on. That's right. Let me see here. Oh, yeah, I've got all my conspiracy sites up. Okay. Yeah.

Another, oh great. Another hangover episode, M says. how does it how do they know? Just no matter what happens. It's a safe Thing it's some kind of fucking narrative. It's a safe assumption It is you know what I'm not hung over at all today. I had two beers yesterday Jesus I got home from the dog. What's wrong? And the traffic was just, so what are we gonna, when self-driving cars happen,

what are we gonna complain about anymore? It's gonna be pre-traffic and post-traffic. People will stop believing in God because there's no more traffic to complain about. Well, it's about time they catch up. That's what it's gonna be. And half of complaints. Do you want a self-driving car? Do you want a. Half of complaints. Do you want a self driving car?

Do I want a self driving car? Yes, because my dream is, you know, my dream in life is to get so drunk that this is what has to happen for self driving cars to happen. But they'll still fucking cite you. If it like is, they're going to make them say you can take a wheeler. Probably sitting back, you know, you touch a bunch of buttons, they'll still fucking, there's no way they're gonna give up DUI. I'm gonna be in all the money, all the money, Biden playing with his dog yanking on the steering wheel like it's a tail.

Like Biden playing, ha, ha, ha, ha, trying to wreck their self driving car and all the self driving cars are gonna go, go, conibition fits, you know, yeah, that's what I want. That's my fantasy. I've told you that. Yeah. What are you gonna say about social? No, no, I was gonna say, I mean, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm a conibption fence. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I want. That's my fantasy. I've told you that. Yeah. What are you going to say about social? No, no, I was going to say, I mean, I, I hope that they're, you know, like in my lifetime,

just widespread. They're already here. I know they are, but I mean, you know, where you get to, you can have them in Vegas. Yeah. I think so. No, I mean, I know they're, I know they're close. It's just everything's going to get, you know, hopefully, hopefully better by someone I assume they do there.

And cheaper. Yeah. That's a dangerous thing these days. My sister said that she saw one, she was at a place as Z Pizza, I think. And she's a what? A Z Pizza, it's called. Oh. And she saw a self-driving car drive right up onto the sidewalk. And I said, you better shut your mouth. Don't repeat that shit. You sure it wasn't a midget? Yeah, you probably saw a little person. You were on your period or something and you hallucinated something.

Completely delusional. This bitch doesn't, no way. I mean, it's just, no difference between a sidewalk and the street. No, trust me. Don't start putting this footud into you fud bitch. Don't start putting this fud into people's minds. It is in Vegas though. On certainty and out.

Fud. Fud. Is that a new thing? You fucking fud meisters. You fud pricks fudding all the time. Fud fud fud fud fud these fucking worthless bitcoin fudds. Fudding FUDders Not one fudder between them

Just so jealous So jealous about all the money everybody's RAKING IN With Bitcoin Buying two rakes, Edward Raycans To rake all the FUCKING money I'm making And Bitcoin and everyone's making money in Bitcoin RAKING IT IN RAKING IT, one hedge fund bank

after another old boy gets a bit of buys a Bitcoin. Yeah, where are you going to go to buy it? You're a fun bitch. Fuck you. Oh my fucking god, these fun pricks. So there's 21, how many bitcoins are there total? There will only ever be 21 million. 21 million.

That's it. That's it. That's it. One thought after another. Well, I mean, there's no utility here. Really? And how many are left to buy? There's no fucking utility. The government doesn't control it.

How about that for a fucking utility? How about what was the one thing I want most in a currency? Well, the government doesn't just print an infinite amount. Can't avoid you, I have news for you? How can you believe so much in the people who control you? Oh, well, yeah, there's no utility here. Okay, utility number one, you can't print an fucking infinite amount of it. How about that shit?

Yeah. With that in your fucking foot and smoke it, you fuck bitch, fuck you. And they said this would be a hangover episode. Well, it's deflationary. It's deflationary, there's only so much of it. Oh yeah, like land. I know land is a just a notoriously bad investment

to make, right? Oh, I'm stupid. I bought all this fucking thing that they're not making anymore of land. Where'd you buy it? Does it matter? Right. Does it matter?

Because there's not going to be any more of it. Does it fucking matter? You stupid fudge bitch. You fucking fudge idiot. Fuck you. Who are you yelling at? It has no every body fucking everybody. Every but has no utility.

I know all I have to do. I got all this land, right? I just folded up, put it in a FedEx envelope, and send a billion dollars worth of it to the other side of the planet. I was like, oh, I can't, I can't fold up all this land. I can't take a bunch of gold and shoot it with a shrink ray and send it into outer space.

Well, I can with Bitcoin, you fucking f**k moron! You stupid f**k! Uhhhhhh... Okay. I can't believe you. So aggravating! See you next week. So aggravant.

Not for real. You're kidding me. You're kidding me. You're kidding me. I have a dog now. It's supposed to be calm. Wooo! Yeah! How are you? You want to do it it's supposed to be calm. Woo! Yeah!

How are you? You want to get into it? We love to. You got it. It's a show. Whoever's a contest coming to your live from Mountain Bunker, Deep in the Heart of the City of Failure. I'm your host, Nick Mashnik, the $20 million man. Votator America's worst.

Mexican 97 weeks running. Is that right? Coming up on the on CN census. the CN, the Keen CN era. Sure. That's a different Mexican celebration. You don't hear much about CN, right? Yeah, the Keen CN era. Yeah.

Who's a hundred? They trot out your grandma a hundred years old and beat her like a piñata. Don't she stop screaming? Yeah. Ideal. And they know the deal when they come out. They're like, grandma, you just got to stop screaming. So don't scream.

They're gonna start beating you like a piñata. They're gonna put you in a harness like Shamu. And lower you down to all the uncles, all the T.O.s and T.O.s are gonna start wailing on you like a, just don't scream and it's over. And they go, me, oh, I got it. As soon as they go, as they look I they start screaming right even before they get hit the key and see a nearer all right. Hey everybody where

did I leave off joining me as always is Sean the audio engineer hello dick. World touring LA based comedian Sean. Hey what's up buddy. Thanks for not killing yourself. Thank for joining me again. Very unhealthy episode. Very unhealthy episode. I got a dog, everyone. That's only a dog show now. Yeah. We're only gonna talk about dogs. Yeah.

Oh, that's it. Only dog-related rages from here on out. Oh my god. My dog, he would have believed it, my dog, man. Ah! You don't physically have the dog yet. No. That was just a picture.

That was just a picture. I posted because I picked it. Oh, you know, I haven't seen your, you know, you know. I gotta show you these videos. I have the dog yet. No. That was just a picture. That was just a picture. What's your post? Because I picked it. Oh, you know, I haven't seen your, you know, you know, I've got to show you these videos. Yeah. Because you get in order, right? You get in order.

A dog order? Yeah. It's a foster dog. Very expensive foster dog with papers. It's a foster dog? No. I would never. I would never have a foster dog.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, probably. All the defects and problems and baggage. I already have a woman. I don't need another being never have a foster dog. Are you kidding me? All the defects and problems and baggage. I already have a woman. I don't need another being that I have to take. They've all been fostered at some point. Yeah.

They've gone through the system. I don't want to talk. We talked to issues. Who do we talk to? Who do we talk to last week? Who was a foster kid? Oh God, Merlogic. Merlogic, yes, exactly.

I don't want a dog that wants to have sex with my bread. No, no. You know what I mean, Sean? Yeah, you know, I mean, you're gonna be drunk and want to make a sandwich and that bread is gonna be fucked. You caught that first. What's that's called when Merlogic said that his grandpa's memoirs were called the grandpa and children's village.

Ralph and I just kind of ignored it, but you said, wait, what? Wait a minute. We're just going to breathe past. You know, it was so weird. Was the variance in buffer time on Discord last week? There was stuff. I fixed it, but it was sometimes up to like five or six seconds, where it was like, all of a sudden, I would, you know, I used my locally recorded track. Yeah. And then I would, I'd hear myself on the, on the discord and it'd be like five seconds later. And then sometimes it'd be right on. Yeah.

So it was just, I don't know if it was just a buffer thing or something, but it was like, it had to be weird times. Descored for you guys in the studio. Too busy looking at their, their Lollikons and pedophile artworks to do engineering. I didn't notice anything, but I was drinking. That's true. So, you know, no one's counting for it.

I like a rough, got a good energy. Oh, he's fantastic. He's, you know, it annoys me so much that people think he fell in some way, but he was destroyed by YouTube. Like he, he was the biggest. He changed his, you know, he changed his persona or something, because I mean, fell like a-

There is this idea that Ralph failed somehow, but the system, this YouTube system, and the system of cancel culture that are corporate overlords live and have created underneath us to destroy us at any time, like just dropping out the floor of owners, totally destroyed him. Anyone else in his position would have just quit.

But he hasn't. And he's still the same, like he's still the guy that had the number one fucking show on YouTube. That's why I didn't know that. He'll be back. I didn't know you had the number one show on YouTube. Yeah. The kill stream was in its right before the heel stream

where it was canceled by the Wall Street Journal. It was huge. It was the biggest show there was. Now Nick Rikita has it. I'll be damned. And I hope he has it forever, but that's what happened. Through no failure of his, well, the failure of his own was charity.

That was trying to become respectable. That was what did it. And they destroyed him for it. It's a tragic tale anyway. You put you on a list when you get a dog. You put it down payment. I gotta show you, I don't know if I can show these. It's not gonna be the same if I don't show you these videos.

Let me, so we have been messaging him for a while since like October, like, where's, what's going on with the dogs? What's going on with the dogs? And this is a breeder somewhere locally. Yeah, kind of, a lot locally enough. I'll tell you that dog's, what's going on with dogs. And this is a breeder somewhere locally. Yeah, kind of, it's a lot locally enough. I'll tell you that. Well, it's weird.

Sometimes they're out like in the country. You know, they're out in like weird places. Yeah. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. There goes all my notes. Ice coffee on keyboard on notes. This is the worst thing you've ever done by a lot actually.

It's like, oh, it's on the, it's even more than I thought. It's even more than I thought. I thought, oh, the keyboard contained it. There's like twice as much as, I thought there was. Oh, boy. My God God was that a fail. You might as well have just picked that cup up and turned it right over on everything. You would have spilled less. All right. Here's the don't read any specifics. I don't want to. I know. I know. I know. I know. Shut up with this dog.

You're going to pick this dog up and you know what's going to do. It's going to piss all over you. That's the first thing it's going to. You know what the worst fuck? You know what I found with having a dog with women. You tell them that you're getting a dog and they will just immediately start telling you in the ways in which it can die. Like, oh, you don't have to do. You have to brush. You got to, you got to get it in for regular dental. I'm like, bitch, I don't go in for regular dental appointments. I know. I'm fucking not taking a dog into the dentist. You can't eat grapes anymore. You can't eat for God's sake. Do not cook with garlic.

You're going to corden off the corden off that fucking kitchen because of a fucking piece of garlic. It said that dog is going gonna, that dog is gonna find some water and go belly up. It's already dead. They turn into taking, like Liam Neel's and, hey, oh, I've got a very special set of worries about your dog. It's already dead.

That dog that you haven't even bought, you haven't even picked up yet, it's already dead. Unless you do, like, bitch, I fucking grew, I know how dogs are. I grew up with them. They've been around for hundreds of thousands of you.

You don't have to do anything. They're fine. Just relax. They're fine. They're gonna fucking die. Don't take your shit out on every single one. Well, you know what you got to do. But if it's a series of dogs.

Marry a series of dogs. Stop. Don't tell me what I have to do. I can't find these videos that I'm looking for. God damn it. Click on the page. Okay, so this is what I was telling you, Sean, you get on a list, right?

Yeah. Depending on what order you get in and what order they have the dogs and the stuff. Like, and then when they have the, when whatever the litter is happening, they tell you what order you are on the list. So we're checking in constantly since like October. Like where are we on the list?

One of these puppies are being born, puppies were born on New Year's Day. Oh, great. Where are we on this one of your list? This one's ours. This is one of those is ours. You know, people listening, can't hear. You little yellow lab, can't hear.

I'll get to the point. Is this, no, I'm finding a video for Sean. Well, my notes dry out. So we ask, every day we're asking one of the list, one of the list, she's like, oh, okay, you're definitely on that list. According to our records, you're going to be on the list of the ones that were born on New Year's Day. I'm saying, all right. What order it's because you're last. They're all hungover. You're dead. You're dead last day on the list. Okay. You're dead last. So you get the, so the last, the're all hungover. You're dead. You're dead last day on the list. Okay. You're dead last.

So you get the last, the last of the litter. Yeah. So everyone else gets to pick before us. Just like, oh, we're doing a meeting day, but you guys probably shouldn't even come on the day to be able to get. Because you don't want you to see all the good ones that get taken. Well, if it's going, if it's a reputable breeder, I'm sure, you know, it's not like the, it's not like this

dog has three legs and somebody before you got the last four-legged dog. Yeah, as long as it has all of its legs and stuff. We're fine. It's like a baby. They count the fingers and the toes, right? Yeah, they don't count the parents. Which they should. Yeah, right.

Did I miss it? No, it's coming up. Okay. I just want Sean to appreciate what it's like to be last in line of the talks. Wow. So many, I posted a picture of me, the last in line on this fucking crawl right here.

Somebody said, well, your dog looks sad. I mean, I'm like, yeah, well, you know, she's got a rough life already. She's going here. Um, cut all, I'm just going to be quiet. So I can cut this out What the fuck did I miss it? What what what date is it on tell me that you're almost to the bottom okay? Okay, okay, so that's that's your dog. No, this is number one dog. I was gonna say it's really

It's a really good-looking dog. Yeah, right normal looking puppy, right? Yeah right? Yeah. So she posts videos of the dogs and goes, uh, you're dead, you're dead last. And now I'm going to post some videos of all the puppies that are going out, right? So people can come check them out because they still make, they're still selling. Yeah, just to see your, you need dial up. Yes. So we go through and scroll. Here's one puppy. Oh, it doesn't.

She let great. Yeah. Oh, here's puppy number's one puppy. Oh, it doesn't she look great. Yeah. Here's puppy number two. Beautiful. Oh, man, how could you go wrong? Look at how adorable these puppies are, right? Oh, man, is ours coming up? Well, who knows? You get anybody just picks a random puppy.

You could be good, right? And then there's, it doesn't matter how many of these, all of these just be amazing to have, right? Uh-oh That's yours oh Man is it partially does it have like does it have bells palsy? Oh Oh For anybody has picked win him it you see how this one saves like more of a blobfish?

It's in the upper, what? It closes, it opens and closes its eyes and slow motion. I don't know, what's going on here? Is this dog? Do you know that this dog can stand? It looks like it's got, looks a little, looks a little old. The gray, right? Little quadriplee jickey.

I don't even want to, I don't even want to part with it. This is too embarrassing for us. Oh, sure. The week before the week everybody goes out there to pick their dog. She goes, oh, everybody plays rise in slow motion. Everybody picks, everybody picked their dog. So you're here's yours. Sharon, that was this one.

The dog seems really mellow. Oh, yeah, great. Oh, I'm not posting a picture. That's fucking that's hilarious. I'm embarrassed. I'm sure that you don't even know their personalities tell their in a, you know, tell their with you a while. That's what's funny.

If I don't like the personality, I'll just throw in the garbage. Well, you know, you know, what do I care? Well, she's a lab. So she's going to be in your garbage anyway. So good luck with that. Oh, you're last. Like, oh, great. Let's see that. Here's the videos of all the dogs. Oh, that one looks a little fucked. So, gee, I really wonder which one. Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine. Um, Texas, but that is, but that is kind of a funny. is that funny? Yeah. You like that, Sean?

Yeah. What am I even going to get your nose? Do I deserve? Look at your nose. Drenched in coffee, and I've spilled all over myself. For fun, I guess I chose to do that. Yeah. This is what kind, that's what kind of dog I deserve.

Just to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to I'm sure the dogs tail will spill many a coffee look at this shit Jesus Christ All right, all right. All right. Texas is Texas is out of power. Do you get did you? Yeah, I was a come yeah, yeah, is it coming back on? A lot of people they deserve it for cheating at the world series I want to put that out there. Nobody's saying it but for for sure. It's what happens. I'm so, yeah, the whole state. Sorry. Yeah. I'm so pissed that hang your, you guys didn't hang the Astros when you had the chance. And now you're suffering for it. I'm pissed that who's strong now? They didn't get who's strong now Houston. Not so strong now when you're under 10 feet of ice. Are you? Fuckers. What were you gonna say?

I'm pissed that we didn't get like a regular next season, you know, really in order, you know, cause they need their come-up and, you know, they need to be drilled on the reg, you know, it's, they need to be drilled like pegged. Yeah. By the, by Tommy Lasordas, dead body to come up. Yeah, prayed him through the streets.

He'll still be louder than, you know. Here's what I love about Texas having no power. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure that a lot of people from Texas were celebrating California's blackouts and rolling brownouts and whatever shit that we were doing fucked up in our state. Which we were doing fucked up things in our state.

And now all of the sudden, now all of the sudden, no regulation, Texas, everything's bigger over here including the blizzards in the dead homeless population that have nowhere to hide during inclement weather. Yeah, they. Now you're getting fucked. It's like once every 10 years they get anything close to this. So what is the better system again? Please let me know with infinite taxation and absolutely no taxation,

it seems like these governments can't do the basic fucking thing, which is listen to the engineers when they say your system's dead broke. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Glad to see you giving a little credence to experts. Yes. No, that's not. Well, same thing oh that, well, same thing, no. Same thing with Katrina.

With the US Army Corridor. I really like damn, it's fuck. It's fucked. Damn, it's fucked. This ain't gonna hold it, you know, 20 years before, 15 years before. Yeah, but you know, racism, you know, we have a lot of things, we have a lot of problems that might happen in the future.

This will definitely happen in the future. There is zero percent chance that these pipes, that these wells, that these windmills, which all look fucking stupid. It's like us. It's like us. A winter that will come every 10 years. We're telling you absolute,

an absolute fact, true terms. Fucking bet on this like Bitcoin. All of this shit will be destroyed. And people are gonna die. Wow, well, no matter what. Everybody's the eternal oftenness. Affinity taxation. No, it's not gonna happen.

Taxation, can't run a goddamn thing. All you have to do, run, here's the platform. What are you gonna, oh, what are you gonna do for the people here? You're running for mayor, governor, you know what? Just whatever, pretty much whatever engineers say to do that's broken, I'm gonna fix that. Mm-hmm.

And then the next thing that they say is broken, I'm gonna mechanically fix that too. It's a wonderful, it's the most wonderful, beautiful situation you could ever imagine where everybody's right. Ted Cruz, well, California's fucked. They can't run anything. You know what? You're absolutely right. Well, just Texas is fucked. They can't run anything. You're absolutely right. All this green energy shit failed. All of these stupid windmills failed. You're absolutely fucking right You know what else failed the natural gas failed bingo everything

Right on that too cuz you can't do fucking anything you guys can't do a single goddamn thing and it proves it Can't keep the power on yeah no matter what apparently no matter Oh, who could have seen this who could have seen this? Who could have seen this weather happening? I mean, it's slightly a little bit colder than usual. Who could have seen that coming? Who could have seen a slight deviation from the norm happening besides all of these engineers who said you shit's broken, fix that.

Because it's happened before. I know a lot of people who live in Texas. And yeah, there are, you know, filling their bathtubs up with water to flush toilets and, you know, putting in as much melting, melting snow, you know, all that kind of shit. Go outside and milk some icicles, you fucking idiots. Next time you tell me how fucked California is. Dick, why'd you live in that cucked, cucked, commie state?

In Texas, we suck off icicles to live. That's what we do. Well, you know, incompetence knows no, knows no geographical boundaries. You got a little excited, didn't you? 10 years since a big fuck up and you fucked it up. Keep it in stock, keep it in journal now, Texas. I don't wanna hear it anymore. I don't wanna hear about how,

I know how fucked our system is. I'm fucking tired of hearing it from you guys while you're skating around While you're shuffle boarding your homeless people Let's see what It's a visual Curling while you're curling yeah, the boards gonna find the right couple boards more insulting rigor mortis, you know, yeah Apple boards more insulting. Rigor mortis, you know? Yeah.

Uh, uh, okay. Let me see what else I got here. Biting's gonna help small businesses first. Mm-hmm. I really, I love, you know, I'm riding with biting now. Yeah. Have been, have been since before the election. I know.

This is, uh, this is Biden's response for making a help small businesses. I just, I know this bitch just gave a spoiler right there. I'm headed it out. So depressing. So I'm, you're a small business. I'm a small business. I'm a small business.

I'd like to know what Biden's gonna do to help guys like us, the backbone of the American economy and the vanguard of the American dream prosper and survive after this horrendous pandemic. I would like to know there's millions of us, men, other men, men who identify as women who power small businesses in this country. And I want to know what the biting is, administration is going to do for us here. Let's, let's, let's just ask flat out. Here we go. Here's what is the

spitch's name? Potaski Jen Potaski. Who's the? Sackie Sackie Sackie Sackie. Here you go. What is President Biden doing for my small business? What is President Biden doing for my small business? First and foremost he nominated a woman to lead the small business administration. There you go. Problem solved. First and foremost, why is that your answer? What does that have to do with anything other than just the ultimate, you know, towing of the PC life?

I'm thinking that people think that people will be like, oh, thank God. I don't understand what that has to do with anything. Like, just shit in my, like find, you're engaged in a new and creative way to shit in my mouth every time. Just say, you can't just say fuck you. It's like we're locked in an infinite testing matrix

where it's the super computer is just using these deep-faked images and videos to find new and unique ways to shit in our mouths. And Satan is harvesting this disappointment every time it's a new and different way to shit in the mouth of me. Yeah. Oh, small business. I know you guys don't give a fuck about small business.

So just say, well, you know, we're just say fuck you. Now we've got something new planned today. It's first and foremost. I know, right, right. That's not just first. Yeah, right. Foremost. That's the most important thing I want to impress upon you. Ranked some portans.

Yeah. Not, you know, I got the most important thing in the back. Third. Yeah. Like a headliner. First, let me just say Biden appointed a woman. So we got a lot of women out there. Don't worry, we're not going to get first and foremost. We want that known more than anything else.

Was there more? I don't care. What could be more important than that? How do you follow that? I don't know. I don't know how you follow. It's totally irrelevant to me. Here's what the muppets are in trouble. They are? Yeah, this is just too much for me, man. Oh, boy. Let me load this up.

Disney, if you needed a reason to hate them more, and I think that's on you, I think at this point, I've hated Disney my whole life. Like a straight man should. If you needed more than their reason actions to hate them, that's on you. But this should do it. This one's over the line. Here is a disclaimer that Disney plus slaps on the on the TV before you stream a very controversial show that you may have heard of, Sean. Yeah. This is the classic Muppet Show.

This is the Muppet Show. You know. Yeah. These guys where anything goes, lighting up, dubies, dropping end-bombs, basically the puppet version of like, Lini Bruce. Oh man, the Muppet Show and it's Hay Day. Fossy with a needle hanging out of his arm. Invited controversy.

And every, I gotta get this cup away from me. I'm feeling too wild today. This is the disclaimer that Disney throws up on the screen. But if you try it, if you, or anyone in your home tries to watch the fucking Muppets. It's so fucking hollow. It's so fucking hollow. It's so fucking this program, this program includes negative depictions and or mistreatment of people or cultures.

The mother fucking Muppets, you know, you know that I like Muppets. They're Muppets. Are you love Muppets? More than, you know that I like Muppets. They're Muppets. You love Muppets. More than, I'm more than the average. You can say this about me and I'd be like, nah, yeah, you know, probably, yeah, that's true. Whatever, but the fucking Muppets, these stereotype, you've always liked the Muppets.

These stereotypes keep in mind, by the way, Jim Henson created Muppets specifically to teach poor kids to read and write and to get and encourage their families to be together, you know, like the one thing that fucks poor kids over anything else is that their families don't give a fuck about them. And everything follows fucking suit, you know, that was the entire reason he created the fucking Muppets was to pull poor kids out of poverty and illiteracy. The only reason.

This program includes negative depictions and or mistreatment of people or cultures. Like Disney talked shit about something that they didn't even create, that, you know, they just acquire property. That's all they fucking do. People think Winnie the Pooh is Disney. It's not fucking Disney. They just bought the rights. They acquire property and they create jailbait content.

They create jailbait lollicon. All of the Disney princesses are underage. Therefore, all of the content they create is lollicon. They're right. And they're all dating men who are older than them. By at least 10 years, Prince Eric is on a fucking ship. He, I know that motherfucker is over 18. Ariel's 14.

That statutory rape. Damn. That's what Disney is because that's what women are. They love it. These stereotypes were wrong then. These stereotypes in the Muppet Show. Right. Were wrong then and these stereotypes in the Muppet Show. Right. Were wrong then and are wrong now.

Rather than they're wrong now. They're even, they're much wrong now. They're way more wrong. These stereotypes, rather than remove this content. So they, they were thinking of removing the Muppet Show. Yeah. You know what? Yeah.

We're not gonna remove it. You know what? I, I smell dukes of hazard crossover. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge it's harmful impact. The muppets who've done more for poor kids. Disney exists on slavery. Like they employ slavery and all of their properties are based on slavery because they're all a bunch. They're all a bunch of do nothing,

cuts who sit around in castles, talking about how emotional, the emotional toil that their lives have caused them. They long for more. They long for more. They're being a princess. Yeah, that's not enough. Yeah.

Learn from it and spark a conversation to create a more inclusive future together. This is the fun for those years. And for those years, just like the muppets, it's still on, right? Disney is committed to creating stories with, you know, they fired Kermit the frog. Like four years ago, Disney fired the guy who was Kermit.

Because he would say shit. In other words, I don't think Kermit would say it like that. I guess, you guys are writing shit to Kermit would not do. Yeah. Because that. I get it's not you guys are writing shit the curmit would not do. Yeah, as you know, curmit's cool and you guys are fucked. Yeah, you guys are a bunch of pedophiles trying to write curmit. That's why do you say it on the curmit voice?

Yeah, he did. Disney is committed to creating stories with inspirational and aspirational themes. Oh, wow, that reflect the rich diversity of the human experience around the globe. Well, Dick, first and foremost, let me- This is a Disney we were talking about. Yeah, yeah.

Rich diversity of white women around the globe. That's what they mean. Aspirational themes for white women that reflect the rich diversity of white women. Mm-hmm. The rich white women of the human experience around the globe. We're at Disney with inspirational, aspirational themes for spoiled horse around the globe. We're at Disney with inspirational and aspirational themes for spoiled horse around the globe.

To learn more about how stories have impacted society, visit Disney.com slash stories, man. What were you gonna say? That's great. You got to, I didn't notice a monitor over that. I got sick of looking over there. No, that's awesome. Yeah, he's reading off of 100 bucks.

What were you gonna say? Nothing. Nothing. I'm gonna say nothing. No. I wonder what Biden could do about that say nothing. Nothing, nothing. I'm gonna say nothing. No. I wonder what Biden could do about that. First and foremost. Yeah, what?

Nothing. I just wanna use that. Well, first and foremost, seems very important. Ah. Ah. People on the muppets. Bring back, oh bring back bullying I have. Yeah, here's Bill Gates.

Bill Gates has been very lippily. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me see if I've got a good quote from Bill Gates. You know, I was in Arizona. Did I tell you that I started the arrest Bill Gates chant with Alex Jones? No, I don't think you mentioned that.

We've got to Arizona to stop the steal. Yes. The veto was stealing the election, you remember that. Right. Uh-huh. And Alex Jones showed up, started shouting into the megafa. I saw some, he sounds like he has throat cancer. You might.

Yeah. I started the arrest Bill Gates chant. Ah, I was pretty happy about that. Yeah. Because I believe that we should arrest Bill Gates. Okay. He's anti-meat now. Really? Yeah. Let me see what he had to say. We should arrest Bill Gates. He's anti-meat now.

Really? Yeah, let me see what he had to say. No, I'm on board. Yeah, I was like, I find a greenhouse thing on the foreign cows. Yeah, I'm trying to find a quote from him. That's where I draw the line. You think?

That's not the place to fucking regulate. I don't regulate my meat. Yeah, he's like the one thing not to start on everyone's fucking meat. Food. Yeah, all rich countries, all rich countries. That's not going to be any good in our lifetime synthetic beef. Not to, not all rich people, all rich countries. So if you're some fat slob that has like $100 in the bank

and is just looking for, like if you're who the Carl's junior commercial is for, right, a hot chick eating, getting sauce all over her tits. While she's eating, fuck you, I'm eating. If you're that guy, you're included in this. Right, all rich countries, so- Conscious. Conscious.

A government program to give people who are that guy synthetic beef. I mean, this is how do any I'm like a rich guy by these guys? You just tax it. And then when you can't pay taxes, you execute people for not paying the taxes. All rich countries should shift to eating 100% synthetic beef. Bill Gates should transition to, oh, should transition to synthetic beef to help fight climate change. We're transitioning as a country because he's got a new book called How to Avoid a Climate Disaster. I don't think the poorest 80 countries will be eating synthetic meat. He told the outlet, why do we? Well, tell you what, the richest country on earth will not be eating synthetic meat,

because they're like, this stuff sucks. Yeah, I do think all rich countries should move to 100% synthetic beef. Don't touch my fucking beef. And, hey, claim it's going to make it taste even better over time. I'm trying to find... Yeah, in 100 years, it'll be like mediocre, regular beef. Well, you know what? What annoys me about this? Here is, here is where he says, in his book, I got a synthetic beef. The closing chapters of the book lay out a long list of ways

nations could accelerate the shift, including high carbon prices, clean electricity standards, clean fuel change, and more funding for research of blah, blah, blah, gates calls for, here's how you stop everybody for meeting regular meat. Just make this synthetic stuff as good as the real one. And then that's, I know. That's exactly, exactly. You're even better. Don't penalize the other one.

Yeah. Yeah, you know why no one eats, because it's not as good. No, it's, that's why. Apparently, it's not as good. No, it's, that's why. Apparently it's fucking awful. It's the same argument for synthetic pussy. As soon as you don't see somebody going, you know what, we really need to get the top 100 richest countries

have got to switch to fucking synthetic pussy. Because this is sex is a microaggression. It's the result of a lot of trouble and fighting and the demeaning of women and the oppression of women over centuries and millennia. We've got to move, we've got to move everybody over to fucking synthetic pussy as quickly as possible. But don't you want that? Exactly. Yes. As soon as it's good, good and not believe me. I don't know and likes doing this, but it's better than the alternative you have, which is a bunch of grass and bean paste that you keep slapping different wrappers and smells

over and hiring celebrities to trick us into thinking something that we want to do. For some reason, I was thinking lab-grown beef. Yeah, but like, I know they're doing it, but the synthetic, yeah, since it obviously can be made with other stuff. It is, I'm sure he's talking about lab-grown. It's not fucking, it's not as good. That's why.

Well, the lab-grown stuff is appallingly bad, apparently. You've got $150 billion, make it good. If you're so fucking important to you, make it good. Stop telling everybody, oh, you know what? It's time to just, it's time to pull up our boots, traps and buckle up and eat this, just eat the shit. If it, if the shit you don't like, as soon as it's as good, then I'll think about it.

I'm right there. Yeah. As soon as it says good. Yeah. Awesome. As soon as it says good, why you guys can't tell the difference? As soon as I can right there. Yeah. As soon as it says good. Yeah. Awesome. As soon as it says good. Why you guys, I can't tell the difference. As soon as I can't tell the difference. Yeah. Then I don't even have to make the decision.

Well, you got to switch over to fucking artificial pussy. Well, yeah, when it says good, wow, come on. This is my legacy we're talking about. I'm Bill fucking Gates. Yeah. Everybody knows me as the guy who made a shitty operating system

that nobody even wants to use, even though it's cheaper than a Mac. Here's another one he dropped on us. The way crypto currency, cryptocurrency, Bill Gates says, the way cryptocurrency works today allows for certain criminal activities. It'd be good to get rid of that. He added quickly. Getting rid of the criminal activities. Yeah. Yeah. The crypto. I probably should have said bio weapons.

That's a really bad thing. So he says he should have said bio weapons that it allows for bio as an asset class, you're not producing anything. And so you shouldn't expect it to go up. It's kind of a greater full theory, type of investment. Gates said on CNBC. Nothing for you, you don't get anything.

If you want your own money, you don't get it to heaven. No. Bill Gates says all the money. And all the meat. You know, he's not supporting meat. That's good for you. Meat ranches all over his properties. And guys are like proud of eating meat, like getting made fun of by soy assholes.

Like, oh, yeah, what's your part of your identity? But it is because it takes a lot of actual American values to grow meat, like having private property, having the guarantee of the existence of private property, having like a strong middle class that actually works on things, that is all shit that you need all of that shit to have meat. You do, it's a complicated thing. It's a complicated thing that America does well. We used to do a lot more, have individual rights, property rights, middle class, things

that you can't make in a fucking lab. So when I see the, when I see the overeducated ripping on meat eaters, starting to annoy me. Yeah. Anyway, I just like steak, man. That's, that's it. It's not something I've, I've never considered becoming vegetarian. I don't think that I ever would.

No. You know, because, you know, I like steak. Yeah. I like it. You too, man. I'm gonna eat some right now after the show. Here's Madonna. I didn't think she was still alive.

Yeah, look at how you got me in just a, that's some fucking retouching, if I ever, I mean, what the, Jesus Christ. How's that, that's never gonna be illegal in our lifetime. The things that women do to their, I watched a video where a woman has an app

that she's recording. You know, in person, she looks like a piece of beef jerky, right? Oh yeah, I mean, yeah. And she's like altering the contours of her face with the app and pointing it where it's happening. And then she does it all and then erases it all at the end. She looks like a monster again.

No, go, go, yeah. Yeah. Shocking. No, it's wild, man. Here's Madonna has to say about, I thought this was pretty funny. In her, she says this, with a picture attachment that is,

she's got a, what is that? It's not a crown. Just an old picture. Like, I mean, or literally- Like literally- Literally, yeah, do that to herself currently. As she did, this looks new, because look at the size of her jaw.

Yeah, pull it up so people can, people can see what we're looking at. Madonna, you never thought you'd hear from her again, right? Two cams, Browse, there it is. Oh, this might need some rejiggering. The way I've got it. The patriarchy, she says, continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots, cut off my life force and take away my voice.

Oh my God. It's Madonna. What the fuck is, what is she even talking about? I think she's talking about this giant diamond collar that she's wearing. I think that's what it's crushing in there. Call themselves artists, you know who you are. Even those who call themselves artists,

and then there's about 20 dots. You know who you are. She's like one of the most successful artists ever. She's one of the most successful label owners ever. What? That nine million, hold on. She's got three million followers trying to crush her voice. What the fuck? You know who you are. trying to crush her voice. What the fuck? You know who you are.

Death to the patriarchy. Now and forever, risk what you value. This is a risky tweet. Yeah. She'll be banished to one of her, you know, 17 castles. You know what it's going to be? It'll be an entire government made up of women. We're in these fucking, they're so fucking out of touch.

They're women. It's like most of them, it will be an entire government of women. The International Money Fund will be run by women. All of a sudden, foremost, all the police will be women. Right. They're going to have their own hold police force. They're going to call them social workers.. They're gonna call them social workers. We'll all be carrying guns in the future.

And they're gonna come, they're gonna go door to door and find any patriarchy that happens to be existing. And root it out. And form of jokes. It's gonna be like, it's gonna be like, in glorious bastards. Where he's interviewing the guides, like, hey, just, you know, like, are they under the floor?

You know, like, are they? Is it kind of the floor? Yeah, we're just gonna talk. Glad in diamond. You're gonna, right, exactly. The patriarchy is hiding in the under the floor boards. First and foremost, we've appointed a woman to run the small business

patriarchy. Yeah. Um, hmm, hmm. So the first thing we're gonna do is repaint the office. Let me see what else they have. Fung Shway, the lobby. We've gotta bring bullying, something's gotta be done to bully Bill Gates.

He's taking me to way, taking crypto away. No. He's got all kinds of ideas about vaccines and vaccine cards. Guys, just nonstop, nonstop, one awful idea after the next. Microsoft Bob was the best idea that he's had down ever since then. Okay.

All right. Let's see here. Oh gosh, yeah. Colors of the mask slackers, let me pull that one up, Johnny. Do you know what mask slackers. Let me pull that one up, Johnny. Do you know what mask slackers are? Like what? People who wear it down around their chin or something

or like, I guess, I don't know. I don't really know. Just learn, there's this woman says, just learn that back during the Spanish flu, people who didn't wear masks were called mask slackers. And their knees. I didn't know that word slacker was that old. In the teens. 19 teens. mask slackers. And their needs. I didn't know that word slacker was that old.

In the teens, 19 teens. Mask slackers. And their names would be exposed in their local newspapers. Public shaming. I say we bring that back. The shaming. You know, I mean, just in general. Yeah.

Okay. I think it's back. Been back. Been booming. Public shaming I think. I guess that's true. I really have to talk about bringing it think. I guess that's true. You really have to talk about bringing it back. I guess that's true.

Well, shaming for both sides, like everybody, you know, like that's the problem, is that it's not equal. Here's the follow up comment. We can do more than that to them. Oh, okay. Let's not go crazy people. Any crazier than we are.

Yeah. What more? Like ask them nicely. Yeah. Maybe give them a little bit of money. Just hold them off. I don't even, I don't wanna live in this planet anymore. Yeah.

Well, I know we weaponize, you know, we weaponize the internet and people just don't like talk to each other, you know, like, because most people will do what you ask them to do if you're asked nicely and personally, like, you know, we, we get thrown around a lot. Oh, yeah, they, we, yeah, we, we and they, we could do more, like, say and do a lot of things. We, what do you mean by we? It means not me. Somebody, the dumbest, one of us, the dumbest person who sees this can go do some nasty shit. Well, that's what, yeah. It's right.

That's the problem. We are gonna do, we could do more than this. Let me see what else I have here. Oh, yeah. Did you see the teachers who all resigned because they got caught on an open mic? No. Making fun of parents.

No. That's pretty funny. School board and entire school board resigns. Wow. Because they got caught or there was a backlash or there was a... After members get caught mocking the parents. How could you not? How could you not

Yeah, warning graphic content. Yeah, okay in like language. Yeah Throw it up. I'll put it the video up on the thing in Case people are watching the video which you can watch a Patreon.com slash the Dix show for a dollar. Okay, one dollar a day can keep Dick and Sean employed for the make it give more towels to still got this coffee. You could give some rice to people in Africa

or you could, you know, give Madonna another diamond necklace or you could or you could give someone, you could give something to people who give Madonna another diamond necklace. Or you could, or you could give someone, you could give something to people who give something back to you. It's just such a fucking sham. It's such a, the sh, I understand the government doing it, but one person already richer than God.

Oh, she's, where the fuck do you get off telling people that they're not allowed to eat meat anymore? Just like, go do, go do stuff that's not fun. I get it. You wanna be responsible. You wanna be credited for having saved the world. I fucking get it.

I've listened to Bill Gates interview in every single fucking time. He says, it's the biggest thing humanity will have ever done. No, it's not. It's driving is not the biggest thing we've ever done. We don't do anything. What were you gonna say? Well, I was gonna say, some people,

they don't even realize they're so out of touch that they just, they take so much for granted. Yeah. That they still believe that they have something, some pulse of the general populace. And if you were to actually point out like what is done for them, that they don't even realize,

I think anybody with any sense of introspection, they would probably shocked, where they're like, oh my God, like even somebody who makes 500,000 a year doesn't get that. Like I'm not even, I'm so far beyond what is like reasonable to think. The chatter removed my voice, fucking wear.

Yeah, it's wear. Yeah. You got, we have an automated corpse running the country. Entire staff is women. Who's fucking. Paul Dog, Paul Dog. President. Paul Dog, fucking woman, a horrible one

who's locked up more black people than Jefferson you know, uh, then Jefferson Davis, I don't know what good. Yeah, she got all women. It's one thing that is, you know, it's, it's always going to follow her around. And you got the worst type of women, by the way, young and single. That's the worst type of woman, best type of woman, grandma. That's one who's at least gonna think about what they're saying before you get out.

Before you get out. Yeah. Grandma, what do you think? What do you think about these modern girls? I don't know about what. I don't know about what. Young and single. Yeah.

Oh boy. I find a lot of women who are not anywhere near grandma age, but have been around like in my business. They talk shit about the younger, especially when it's like, no, see, that's not oppression. Like you're over, you're overstating what oppression is and it undermines like what it really is. Here's the test for if the woman, if her opinion is valid, you get her to hold her arm up

and then you pull out the skin. If that shit bounces back, no, put her back in the oven. The brain's not cooked enough yet, ma'am. Got it. I'm sorry, but everything you think you believed is because you have an army of enablers who want to stick their dick in you. Got it. So the wisest woman who we should be listening to in the play,

looks like a sharp pay. Yes. Pull that skin. Got it. That don't bounce back. If you touch the top of her head and put it forward, that bitch is whack. That's my, again, arm skin bounces back.

That opinion is whack. Got it. That bitch is whack. Which everyone, okay, this is the school board. I'm proud of these guys for speaking their mind finally. Here we go. This is a school board, where is it from? Members of a California school board. They always say where they're from, like that has any, like kind of meaning. Well, you know the parents school board, but you do know the parents in California are probably crazier than most.

Oh, yeah, like how Texas' government was so great. I remember that. I know. Oh, California is so dumb. Yeah, yeah. We'll still have them. Um, there we go. No, uh, sound.

No, I, that's me. I know. I can, I really, oops, oops. Okay, here we go. It's like whatever I wasn't doing anything bad, I can, I really, I, oops, okay, here we go. It's like whatever I wasn't doing anything bad. I can, I really honestly don't care about that part. But you know what? Are we alone?

Yeah, I'm fine. You think you are? No, you... If you're gonna call me out, I'm gonna fuck you up. Sorry. Sorry. Nervous laughter. Fucking hate that.

Yeah. Women who use violent imagery. Look, no, you're not. Just shut the f- I'm sure you fucking out. Dick, but you know what, though, Dick, they're the hate that. Yeah. Women who use violent imagery. Like, no, you're not. Just shut the, I'm sure you're fucking mal. But, you know what though, Dick, they're the real heroes. How many months off do you get a year? You get a year again. How many months off do you get?

How many, you know, yeah, heroes. Three, five, okay. Bitch. Oh God. Thanks my stomach. Turn. So, is there's more? I'm gonna fuck you up. Yeah, that was some nervous laughter Uh-huh, because they're they're all like no, no you're not Definitely not don't even talk like that. Yeah, what's wrong with you?

No, I forget that there's real people on the other side of those letters at the writing. Yes. We're real community members. We have kids or have known kids that have gone to these schools. Right. Have an invested interest in this process. He's doing such a good thing. And they don't know what we write behind the scenes.

And it's really unfortunate that they want to pick on us because they want their babysitters back. Right? Right. Okay. Yeah, true. Yeah. Uh-oh. Here we go. Oralani.

Just FYI, you guys have the meeting. Oh, we have the meeting open to the public right now. She's like freaking out right now. That's what Lori just said. Great. Oh, all right, guys. Whoops. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. That one instant fucking panic. That's a Laura just said, ooh, what did I say? Playing it back in her mind, oh, I talked a lot of shit. Well, because they're all just pretending all the time. Yeah. They want their babysitters back. Yeah, because you're fucking babysitters.

Just start acting like it. Start acting like you're fucking babysitters. You know what, we don't want a babysit for eight hours a day. We don't have to pretend to educate kids. Some of them, like 10% of them can be, but 90% of these kids are just garbage. Like garbage in, garbage out, they're fucking dumb.

What are we, why are we teaching them a shared, a shared encyclopedia of references that they can make into adulthood when most of their jobs are either not gonna, don't exist. Half of these kids can't produce anything. Like, and then the half of the remaining is gonna be replaced by robots

by the time they, by the time they hit 28 or whatever, whatever age they're going to be when they're out, they're just debt machines. We're babysitting your debt machines all day. You can easily carve out the small percentage of them that can, that will provide anything, any that will provide even basic maintenance for the society as a whole. Why, so just to go, she's like that. We don't want a babysit for 10 hours a day, we don't want to have to do both. Just let's do one or the other.

Fuck. Instead, resign. So the board all resigned? Yeah. For telling the truth. Yeah. So I'm gonna fuck a truth. Yeah.

Oh, we let the mask slip for a second and sad exactly what every single one of us thinks. Yeah, yeah. All of us think this. You could tell by the laughter and the immediate agreeing that it's what we're all thinking. Can't fucking say it though, because we're gonna lie to you all fucking day. Yeah. Yeah. All right. What else do I have here? God, COVID restrictions What else do I have here? God. COVID restrictions in college. China's wiggers are picking cotton.

Do you know? Every time you say that, man, I think the other one. Which other one? I don't know what you're talking about. What about those? China is accused of forcing 500 and a half a million people to pick cotton. Ethnic wiggers. Yeah, so now the wiggers are picking cotton in China. I'm following Funny is that not funny to anybody? I mean if the wigs he get it the wiggers in China right are picking the cotton. Cause they're the slaves.

China, home to about 11 million ethnic Wiggers, produces 85% of China's cotton, and 20% of the global supply. Wow. I had no idea that they had that much cotton. They grew that much cotton. The South moved to China. It's right. The South is to China. It's right.

The South is rising again, but in China. Yeah, it moved a bit east as well, I guess. How do you see Biden saying that Wigger, like concentration camps, or just part of a national, or just part of their like, cultural differences? No, no, I didn't see that.

Oh, you didn't see that? Oh, dude, let's watch. It's so great because he's telling the truth and people are freaking out. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah. What are you gonna do? Let's go to war with China.

Fuck you. Yeah. Here, let me pull it up. I thought it was funny. People on the right are losing their minds about it, but fucking dumb. China cultural differences. I mean, there's obviously, you know, different countries, there's a lot of cultural differences. I mean, there's obviously, you know, different countries, there's a lot of cultural differences.

Yeah, it's slavery and concentration. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Typical right. Oh, here it is. You know, Chinese leaders, if you know anything about Chinese history, it has always been, the time when China has been victimized by the outer world is when they haven't been unified at home.

So the central, to vastly overstated, the central principle of Xi Jinping is that there must be a United tightly controlled China. And he uses his rationale for the things he does based on that. I point out to him, no American president can be sustained as a president. and I'm not going to speak out against what he's doing in Hong Kong, what he's doing with the U.S. and Western mountains of China and Taiwan and China and the one China policy by making it first. Look, Taiwan is a country that has a lot of power. It's a country that has a lot of power. with the Uighurs in Western mountains of China and Taiwan and the one China policy by making it first full.

But Taiwan. And by the heat, he gets it. Culture, liberal, is different. No one to each country and the leaders are expected to follow. That's funny here. The name Trump ever said. It's, I mean, it's, you know, I was saying to the president of China, look, I got to say what you're doing with slavery and stuff

is bad. And you got to do it. You were real, we're realists here. It gets that. So what's the question? What's the question here? Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Uh, some shit about pronouns. Throw some of that out there. All right, let me read some comments. Maybe I'm real just slap happy this week. I'm a little sloppy too. I got a real sloppy. The amount of work that I have is, again, not complaining

because, well, because I'm aware that people are fucking hurting out there, but it's just one of those things where it's like, I don't know if I'm gonna that people are fucking hurting out there, but, uh, but it's just one of those things where it's like, I, I don't know if I'm going to sleep for the next month. Biden has a woman helping those people. Well, then everybody should just, everybody should just shut up. That's going to be fine.

Oh, God, I saw another funny thing. The, they released a report saying that a $ a fourteen hundred dollar stimulus check will allow twenty three million americans to pay their bills in fall through mid july what is that february march april may six months they're saying that they're saying six months that fourteen hundred dollar check will ask you six fucking months maybe if you dump it into bitcoin the day you get it,

meanwhile, Raytheon got like $300 million or something like that. Oh God, fuck America. Oh, that's a especially coffee saturated piece there. Yeah, this is, this is it. You can still read it though. Virgin, Virgin, decent ink. Virgin contest winner. Yeah.

Most expensive ink on the planet. Is there a choice? Do you have a choice? True. Dearest Dickerson, the Tinder date, codame Quagmire. So he's not a virgin anymore. That's great. The Tinder date began like all others.

With me assuming it would be canceled at the last minute to my trucker. Signed Love Maddox. To my shock, it wasn't. My date had died the bottom half of her hair, a fluorescent orange, a shade not out of place. My date had died. I thought that was it.

That's one excuse I got. I have to cancel, I just died. I just died, sorry. A septum piercing and a colorful skirt completed the image. I had the skinny fat profile and a disposition of the quintessential virgin from the virgin and Chad meme. Straighten your back. But that was nothing, faux leather shoes and good posture. Couldn't hide. There you go. Good for you. The museum date went

well. And many jokes were made at the expense of the sad cocks of long dead Greeks rendered in plastic. It's pretty good. I don't support that sort of humor. I don't go in for that sort of humor, but at least you got her thinking about cocks, right? Yes, that's true. Think about it, even if they're so old or whatever. After a coffee with my heart and my throat,

I made the audacious move of holding her hand. It was a skillful maneuver. I had honed over the course of many previous dates that went in the way. They were canceled in my mind. The secret has happened holding many hands. Grab and write the pussy right away. The secret, as I'm sure you want to know,

is to hold her hand and not just think about holding her hand, a different problem. Commit. Yeah, commit to the bit. Yeah. Purely accidentally, we came across her van, which she was living out of. What? Purely accidentally, we came across her van. So what, she wouldn't have gotten home if you hadn't just accidentally come across it. Maybe is that, am I, am I misunderstanding

that sentence? I think they just were walking around maybe. Oh, we just happened to see it. She was living out of it. Oh, it's my van that I lived in. But she's definitely, she's tender dating. She's living out of a van. Good. She was traveling. Not homeless.

She's sure being. Okay. I believe to her. I don't know. No homeless person would have Disney Funko pops on their dashboard. Hmm. Not of them up. Like how fucking horrible would it be to have them up it,

make them up it, and then sell them to Disney that just continually rapes them. Yeah. Warning, warning, the show is... We're gonna make a bunch of money from this, but we're also gonna say that it's bad. Yeah.

So, well, put your fucking money where your mouth is. You fucking dickheads. And hit. That's just such a... Right? Well, put your fucking money where your mouth is. You fucking dickheads. Uh, and hit, I, that's just such a, Disney is such a cynical scumbag company. And the Muppets are not. Yeah. Yeah. It's just sucks that they on them. Um, let's see here.

And we made our way to the embankment and made out a company by the screams of children from a very nearby playground. I asked if she wanted to find... Why, why, why? Sorry, why, why do you even throw that in there? I asked if she wanted to find somewhere private. She agreed and we hopped into her van. Driving around Superbia in the scolting heat,

trying to find a quiet back street. 30 minutes later, I discovered that she had not realized that when I said find somewhere private, I meant have sex. Yeah. You really got to spell it all out for him. She was very opposed to fucking in the van as the heat probably would have resulted in a double suicide. And had assumed I just wanted to drive around suburbia. Yeah. 40 minutes of driving later, we arrived at my rundown flat with seven roommates during the drive. I learned of her love of God, Harry Potter, Star Wars Disney and Lord of the Rings, thrilling

stuff. Close came off. She had to do the bra herself, of course. Come on, man. It's not that hard. It's not that it's easier one handed, but not that hard. It's not that it's easier one-handed. But not that hard. Her panties were smeared with a red brown stain. I would later find on my bed sheets.

Maybe I should have played those. Oh my God, dude. Ships shoving up her jeans. Hot stories from real men. I gotta get this outta here. A red and brown stain. Dude. While I was rock hard and nervous

while making out clothed earlier, I was surprised to discover I was completely calm now that the deed was beginning. I think he means limp. Had I entered into some sort of flow state like a predator ready to pounce? No, I reasoned as I looked down. I was simply not attracted to her naked.

My dick was soft. You don't look at them naked. And X, I had an X who'd never take her clothes off during sex. It was great. Oh, what? I had an X girlfriend who would never take her clothes off during sex. Really?

Yeah, it's fantastic. She was hot too. Never, just on principle. Well, a lot of the time the fantasy is much better. Almost, you are a real gambler. If you're taking all the clothes off, day one. Wow, that's a hell of a, you are a real gambler, my friend. I tried to initiate four play, but she declined,

claiming she was too sensitive, and she just wanted to insert. I pushed my soft penis inside of her. What? And began awkwardly thrusting. Both our thighs seemed too big. I couldn't seem to get very far. My strokes were short and spasmodic.

Angel that she was, pretended to grasp with pleasure in between politely telling me I was putting it in wrong and trying to illustrate correct operating procedure using hand gestures and non-descriptive lines she's going like this way trying to fuck her. I felt nothing through the condom. Oh my god. Eventually we ended up in a missionary position with her on top. That's not the missionary person. Which seemed mechanically feasible. I did my best to stop from the bottom for a while. Eventually I ran out of stamina and paused for a moment. She took the opportunity to ask to cuddle where she promptly fell asleep on my arm. I did enjoy the skin ship.

I am very lonely. Oh, she woke up and said she had to leave and spend time with her sister who was in town. She promptly left. Neither of us had even approached coming. In total, we had exchanged 15 messages, spent five hours together and I had paid $4 for tea. I was left with vice like blue balls and no change to my emotional state, no pride, no

relief, no shame, no lust. I have not changed. I have not learned. I am not a virgin anymore. That's good. Congratulations. You've been listening to neurotic stories. Now you not changed. I have not learned. I am not a virgin anymore. That's good. Congratulations. You've been listening to neurotic stories. Now you're just like the rest of my skin.

Kind of American psycho at the end. This admission gives me no catharsis. I know that's a nothing. I kind of like that part. Yeah. Normal. Good. Good for you.

Congratulations, Quagmire. Negative no-nut, Nancy's. Hey, Dick and John. On the topic of the two last episodes, I'm both thrilled and fucked off that I'm not alone with this what I call superhuman ability, but being ashamed or too damn lazy to have sex for the average five and a half minutes, like broke back boomers. Fuck, this is gibberish. Fuck my bust. Broken bros for as long as you like, okay, I'm need to go to the next one.

Hey, Dick, I was listening to an episode and another person mentioned they weren't able to come easily with their girlfriend for a while. Did you actually mention the same thing on an episode of one of his podcasts? I also had the same issue, the one time I had sex and I don't take any meds. I'm starting to wonder if there's some connection between the late bloomer anti-social types and this whole not coming thing or just maladjusted people in general. Maybe it's just years of jerking off too much. Who knows?

Yeah, I don't, I don't know, man. A lot of people have it. A lot of people wrote in saying that they can't, they also can't come. I think a ton of people have it. A lot of people wrote in saying that they also can't come. I think a ton of it is mental. And they never say if they're working out or not though. Yeah, never throw that in. Let's see here. Mental issues. Jay Glover, I got a rage for you, Dick.

It's when someone is supposed to stop by your house, but you don't know when, so you don't know if you have time to jerk off before they get there. Yeah. So there you are, just mentally edging for hours, because you know, as soon as you start, they're going to, yeah, and then it's worse. I got a half, I got a halfway going. Now I'm going to be all irritable. Yeah, that's like the old, of course I don't make them, wash your car, it's gonna rain.

You light a cigarette, you're gonna get a fish to bite. You know, as soon as I got... Yeah, sure. You're here. Just tell him, look, I'm beating off. Yeah, so circle the block. Yeah.

Find better parking. Right. Go drive around the neighborhood for 40 minutes in a van. Can you pick a, bring another fun co, bring fucking toy. Bring back bullying. Uh, my notes are all amassed. Power tripping college workers. Hey Dick and Sean, listening to crippled Jesus on the most recent

episode reminded me of my own story dealing with power-tripping college employees. You know, crippled Jesus getting sued by his wellness department. Yeah. I think that was like a school court though, not a real court. Oh, really? Yeah. So it's just like, come, here's a bunch of teachers. So he can just be like sanctioned or something. Yeah, censored. Yeah. This led me to look it up. I was a six

thousand. I was like two fingers like a God like you're thinking. Jesus. I was a 19 year old secretary at my local college. Pretty easy work, just answering phone calls and whoever comes to the door. This leaves a lot of downtime where a fellow coworker would shoot the shit after hours when all the students had left. Stuff like, what's the worst thing you've ever seen online?

Smacking the ass of whoever had to get the boss coffee saying, looking good, doll, stupid shit young guys do. You guys do that. Smacking asses anymore? I don't know that. It's usually like middle-aged men and secretaries, right? Yeah, who they're already plowing.

Right. One day I get called into the head of the department's office, where her and two other higher ups were waiting for me. Another worker had overheard our conversations, and when asked about it, my friends sold me out to the administration, oh no, the fat cow of a woman started grilling me harder than I've ever been before, saying I was a thug, and I would need serious therapy and a new role model if I ever wanted to have my job back. What the fuck?

That not only would I have no friends with my current attitude, but no woman, would ever be interested in someone with such dangerous thoughts. I mean, with that kind of encouragement, I'm sure he'll just run out and get the help he needs. I mean, that's what you do. You just tell me I sign up. You're a total piece of shit, basically beyond help.

You're gonna have no friends and no women will ever be interested in you. Right. If I, and that if I didn't, oh, she said she was personally offended to be in the same room as me. And that if I didn't hand in my worker badge, she would go to the dean

of the college. You're so important. To get me expelled. Acting unprofessional on the job is a fine reason for me to be fired. But this is absurd for a minimum wage help desk position. No, shit. That's when I dropped out of college and went back to trade school. Something I recommend to anyone looking to skip over bullshit power tripping administrators, go fuck yourself. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of trades that for the foreseeable future, you'll need, you know, you'll need people trained in. So these people understand what their behavior does, like in the long term? No. Well, you're being kind of an asshole. You know, that guy's like, I mean, you know, that like, you're just gonna think that most women are like that. They are. Like, you know that, right? When you're doing it, as you're doing it, do you understand?

No, no, no, absolutely not. Maybe they like it. Like, they're all like it. They have that bad bitch attitude. Yeah. She's gonna step to me and then I'm gonna fuck her up. Fuck you. Well, it's, it should be, you're a teacher with that attitude.

It's instant firing. It's the same thing. It's the same women who, the same women who like regularly hit dudes. Yeah. Like, huh? You because you fucking know you're probably going to get away with it. You know, tell you don't say a child. Rage, you know, it makes me rage when people say the mother of my child is in any context, it's ridiculous and they need to stop. One of my buddies, I feed the baby human milk at our barracks, who's from Texas, just kept saying the mother of my child is without power.

God, damn it. It's so, it's a very lofty title. I mean, it's weird, it's bizarre language. The mother of my child. Yeah. Like, are you just returning to Mocky? What are you doing? The power's off at my kid's mom's house.

A lot of, oh yeah, at my ex's house, I think he's saying his wife. I think he's trying to like, That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse.

That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse.

That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse.

That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That's even worse. That. And refer to each other as that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just as weird as the trans shit.

It's, yeah, it's right. The mother of my child. Yeah. Okay. It's also weird. And wife, the mother, like, yeah, the mother of my child, it also, it elevates like her, but it also weirdly elevates him. Yeah. Like, it's her child too.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, like my kid, yeah, child, the mother of my child. My start there. What are you? She gave me a son. My child, my child. Yeah, I have this, my child, I have this great boon for you. It's so weird.

People gotta stop. They really gotta stop reading and watching TV. Yeah, to stop it. Yeah. But we gotta stop these people from having all these ideas and images. Learning the wrong things. Yeah.

Rex Sexton, thanks for reading my erotic story on the show, that was hilarious. Ball, ball. And on this week's, oh, I didn't play the ending. On this week's episode, the mom talking about my story blasting through her car speakers and ruining the lives of, I didn't play the ending. On this week's episode, the mom talking about my story blasting through her car speakers and ruining the lives of her children and everyone at the playground. My eyes were filling with tears of pride.

Uh, well, one, my one good eye, of course. The gonorrhea eye is always kind of leaky. Oh, God. Even though I went one for 20 in Super Bowl bets, hearing that still made it the greatest day of my life. Anyway, if that lady wants me to pump another one in her, after she squeezes her baby out, please forward my info, donka, Rex, sexting.

She's, sure. Yeah, okay. Drippy. Here you go. I got some advice. Cool, let's do advice. I like advice. Me too.

I had a shit load when Ralph was on, but we didn't get to ask him any advice. Sadly, let me just find it here. I like Ralph because he likes to laugh. Yeah, like he does. I think he genuinely finds things funny and I know. I know, he's fun. It's fun doing a show with somebody who hosts their own show.

Well, he's kind of look for the same thing. Yeah. I don't doubt it. Reddit. Oh, God. They really hated his laughter or some people on Reddit did. Really? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Don't know. Don't know, man. Advice, Richard Stroker. Some people just hate Ralph, but then they won't let you say that they're haters. Like I get, yeah, okay, you hate Ralph, you hate when he's on. Yeah, because you're a hater. No, no, no, no, I objectively hate, like, you just hate him, it's fine. Right, you don't need to,

are they protesting that like, if you call them a hater, then that means they just hate on everybody, who's like successful. I have no fucking idea. I think they need you to admit that their hatred has some sort of like objective validity when it doesn't. I mean, you just don't like the guy or his entertainment. Well, I mean, you fucking know. But you can have reasons why you don't like, like, yeah. Here they are. I mean, you don't have But you can have reasons why you don't like, like, Sure. Yeah. Here they are. I mean, you know what I'm saying?

Richard Stroker, advice needed, lied about being black on a job advocate. What, and got called on it? Let's find out. That's hilarious. I don't know. Let me see if anybody's saying anything. Does anybody, now everybody thinks they're part of a we. That's what I've noticed.

Some online communities are more than others, but people have this thing in their head where they think that they represent a we. We think this is a new, it's you. Yeah, it's you. Sure, sure. It's you. What is the parent's television council thing? Was that the one who complained about TV? I think they would constantly file complaints. And the government decided that every one complaint represented 1,000 people. And it represented like one.

Yeah, that's how, like, the internet works the same way. And for some reason, for some reason, the way that social media is structured, the different sites have a different conception of we than others. Oh yeah. And red it's a big we community. Like we, interesting. We, always you, is always gonna be you.

So I hesitate to say a lot of people, a, a couple dozen people didn't don't like Ralph, but whatever, he's hilarious. A lot about being black and jumping. Hey, Dick, feel free to read this on the show. I need your advice on a dilemma I got myself into. Last month, I got a little carried away with the sauce, and I applied for a job with a prestigious firm. In my cover letter, I wrote a spiel about my black heritage. Oh my God.

You really went over that's more than checking a box, pal. Hey, if you're gonna go for it. Commit. And how I can bring a diverse set of cultural values to their fine department. What is he? Is he like a lawyer? I don't know. diverse set of cultural values to their fine department. What is he? Is he like a lawyer?

I don't know. He said firm and department. I don't know. They called me for an interview last week and impulsively, I said yes. Yeah. You see, the problem, listen, if they know already, if you answer the phone before noon. Oh. Oh, yeah. What time did you ask for the interview?

One or 113, or 107. You see, the problem is, I'm not black, and no amount of fake tan will help me get away with this. So I went to the interview, and it actually went pretty good. Or pretty well, excuse me. Went well. And they want to bring me in for a second round. Aside from the interviewer giving me a funny look when I walked in as a white blonde man.

Oh my God. It's just you put it in the fucking cover letter and elaborated on it. Oh black hair. My hair is thing. You know what? You're not allowed to call anybody on that though. So maybe he's a genius.

Yeah. Uh, I think they're gonna offer me a well-paid position. I guess my problem is, how do I live with the lie? What do you mean you're only living one lie? If they don't care. Let me tell you something. If you're not under you, hey man, you are black. You should be emboldened.

You're black now. That's it. There's no lie. Right. All that shit about your black heritage, that happened. That's, you actually believe that stuff from now on. It's not a cute joke. Resist, this goes for everybody.

Resist the urge to be cute all the fucking time. If you're going to appropriate, appropriate shit out of it, like a plantation owner. Yeah, I, this is what I do. These people are under my employee. That's how I live with myself. I keep telling myself, it's just good enough for Elizabeth Warren. If it's good enough for Elizabeth Warren, then it's good enough for the rest of us. But my conscience is making me sweat. Oh. You're good over that. You're not black. I'm afraid.

Jesus. I'm joking. I'm afraid of being outed as a fraud, which is quite obvious because I'm clearly not black in any way, shape or form. Can we real awkward when he meets like the black, the black woman who works there has to see her on a daily basis and she's heard about it.

She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But they're not, there shouldn't be talking about it, right? It should have only been on that application and then that only would have went to human resources. Right. And human resources exist to soak in bullshit. Yeah. Like they don't, all they do is deal in bullshit.

There's no sense. Oh, yeah. Fact or truth, it's just one hysterical complaint after another that they take in and deal with. And they're artists of bullshit. It's never gonna leave there. In fact, I don't think they can tell anybody. Uh, yeah, man, you're, you're black now.

Um, congratulations. So, um, yeah, get ready to be pulled over a lot more. So don't go overboard. Is that why you don't walk in and start, don't let more people know about the lie. Right, right. You got, just go to your head. Yeah, quite while you're ahead. Right, don't start the sheiking it up.

You made a bold play and it seems to have paid off. Yeah, don't get greedy, but also, you know, I mean, A, what's done is done. You're conscience. It's like you're fucking conscience. You're afraid of I mean, hey, what's done is done. Your conscience, it's not your fucking conscience, you're afraid of getting caught. Well, we know it's my son. We know he's not a lawyer. This is something else.

So, my conscience is not letting me in, I'm also very afraid of getting caught. Let us know how it works out. There's gotta be like a statute of limitations or if you get caught being black, pretending to be black, I've blonde. I love it. A blonde white guy.

He would have to be blonde too, where you, you can't even go, maybe his grandfather. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, send me the, send me the cover letter you wrote, the spiel about you. Oh, please, please do. Please send that. Applying to jobs drunk. What are you supposed to do?

Like what the hell are you supposed to do? It's, they're just hitting you all the time. For forcing you into lying about your race. Yeah. Girlfriend wants to stay a virgin. Hey, Dick and Sean, my girlfriend and I have been together for just under four months. Oh, God, she has 38 double D cans and just turned 23.

She's also a virgin and in no hurry to change that. Well, I think for it, I mean, they rarely are. First, it was that she needed to be in a committed relationship. You're gonna move the goalpost a little bit. Yeah. And then, well, then what happened is she found that the committed relationship was you. Right? First she told me that she needed to be in a committed relationship.

Can you believe that? Well, yeah, buddy, because then what happened was she got in a committed relationship and it was you and she doesn't want to fuck you. That's what happened was she got in a committed relationship, and it was you. And she doesn't want to fuck you. That's what happened. Sorry to be the, sorry to bring this bad news to you on this day. Uh, that's what happened. Then, then we need to have said, I love you.

Well, then you know what happened after that then you have to get a puppy Then we had to get each other off so many times by hand and orally who is fucking in charge of this You dating rainman who is in charge of this relationship? Then we had to get it like a punch card 10 getting off or early and you get you get the pussy Now it's she wants to have lived with someone for some time Dude, dude, you're gonna be a nightmare This brought us a fucking nightmare. You got a fucker on principle though. Now that's this aggression And then and then please dump her. Dump her immediately. Immediately, immediately.

Like I mean, right after. Lock out, light a second. Yeah. Light it, gone. Fuck. You're not living with her, are you? Twice. I've tried to have an honest conversation about this.

For months. Who told you to have an honest conversation about plowing a bitch? What the fuck is going on here? Twice, I've tried to have an honest conversation about this. How would that go? Well, I do. Maybe I really want the pussy.

That wouldn't go well. Maybe I'm being honest. I really want the pussy. Yeah. Can you do some honesty? Can you please give me some honesty about the pussy? I want the pussy. What do you think about my,

as my honesty and fucking, is my servitude getting me the pussy right now? Is it doing anything? Can you be honest? Be honest with me. How much do you wanna fuck a guy who just does whatever you say? What, right. Exactly.

We're having an honest con. What is with, who is teaching guys this? I want to, I tried to have an honest conversation. She's having an honest conversation with you, Jack Astro. You might have grown up without a dad. Oh, that's the case, I apologize. The first time, we're gonna help you though. The first time she said part was feeling guilty

about making me wait and worrying that it's jeopardizing the relationship but that also makes her more hesitant. Oh my god. Oh, it's a catch 22. Oh, wow. She really she really honested you into a loop, didn't she? Honey, honestly, why don't you want to fuck me? Well, you know the thing is I think fucking you actually would hurt our relationship You want it honesty, right? Well, first of all, this is a woman's version of honesty, just a bunch of cyclical horse shit. I'm guilty about not doing it, but then now that I'm guilty, I just don't know. Now it doesn't feel like to do it.

Yeah. Now that you mentioned it, there's so much pressure that's been put on the pussy. I don't know if I could do it. Yeah. It's become this thing. It's become this whole thing. Be all-end all of our relationship. But that makes her more hesitant

because she doesn't want to have sex as a Hail Mary to save something. Okay. 23, by the way. Can't even rent this. It's a Hail Mary. So then she just said that the relationship sucks. Yeah.

Because you're talking Hail Mary, that's your last ditch effort. Yeah, you know what? I know why the relationship sucks because you're 23 and you're not fucking. That's how you know that the relationship, that's your last ditch effort. Yeah, you know what? I know why the relationship sucks. Because you're 23 and you're not fucking. That's how you know that the relationship, oh, this relationship sucks, I'm 23 and I'm not. Right, right, right, right.

She also said that being a virgin is part of her identity. She's anxious over giving up a part of who she is for me. Oh, that's Christian me. Oh, yeah. Christian maybe. Well, I mean, could be, but that's, she doesn't know who she is, clearly. If she's saying that is part of her identity, that's like, oh, yeah, oh, the funny dude, he's the funny dude. She's the virgin.

Yeah, that's like her thing. Bitch, that's her thing. That's her thing. The second time I brought it up, she almost immediately started crying. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, nobody could have predicted that sentence and said I should break up with her and date someone who's ready. Do you have any advice for this situation or do I have to either dump her? Yes. Yeah. Or give up on us ever having sex. What the fuck is wrong with you? So far, I've been dealing by spending multiple hours and days gym. Four months, but that's not sustainable. Thanks and go fuck yourself.

You need to be spending multiple hours at the pussy gym and getting that pussy worked over and start, you are playing AAA head games at a AAA level. My son, you don't need to be, you don't need to be, first of all, you never have an honest conversation with a woman. Ever. My mom asks me honest questions.

She gets sarcastic answers, and that is the best that any woman will ever get from me. That's the best. That's the very best. Cause it's your mom. Cause it's my mother and I love her. Yeah. Right.

So she gets sarcasm. Right, instead of the lies. Instead of lies and shouting. Yes. You need to, you need to up your head games. My friend, let me see if Chad has anything to say, but he might be in there. You come on this show if you're in there.

Yeah, if you're in here. Take your fucking wraps on the knuckles like a man. Uh, yeah, you gotta dump that bitch, dear. Dump that bitch, dear. Not to dump her, but to fuck with her head. You have to start fucking with her head. She's fucked. Yeah, she's fucked,

but the head and the pussy are directly connected when it comes to him. And the more you fuck with one, the more the other gets more than you, they need you to fuck with the other one. Then you might, like you fucker their head. You, you might get to actually fuck them. You'll probably get to fuck her. And then, but I guess with my head, I need him to straight now. My pussy. That's how it works. And then listen, it's fucking my pussy. I need to straighten up my head. Listen to this carefully. Afterwards, she's just as crazy and just as fucked up.

Yeah. So see where that goes. Either way, you're going to leave. Either way, you leave. Either way you're out. Yes. Either way or not. You're going to fuck her or not, but she's fucked.

So, so no, no, just as fucked as the next one, by the way. So maybe you're rocking through that door, but do not negotiate with the pussy. Whatever you do, now she wants to have lived with someone for some time. Oh, get off. Fuck yourself. Unload honor. Do you literally anything but fucking negotiating and having honest conversations like a fucking therapist? Bitch, I want a bitch, I intend to fuck you like Ebenezer Scrooge, I'm calling out my shots.

So you're going to be visited by the ghost of fucking past and it's going to be me tonight. Get ready. Get ready for that. Get ready for this train. It's coming in. Next stop is you're fucking pussy. We're getting fucked up and we're fucking tonight or I'm out. Yeah, ultimately, and then don't show up. Oh, yeah. And then just don't show up.

Plus pictures of yourself with the boys on Instagram. You have to realize you have the ability to be random and spontaneous and be uncontrollable because right now you are living under her pussy. You are living, you have shacked up in her pussy like a hermit crab. This is my, this is gonna protect me from the outside world. He didn't say whether he's a virgin. He did not. What she might be.

I hope he's not. Yeah. Mason. Advice. That was pretty's not. Yeah. Mason, advice. That was pretty good advice. Good luck. Good luck. Yeah, that was good advice, actually. Good luck. That actually fired me up.

Chick's not putting out. Usually I don't get fired. Just the whole, just the mindset behind, like the whole, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it's so, if you've been around a little bit, it's so, it's so obvious what the fuck is wrong. But it's, but if you're going, you can't,

you can't see it. Like the least objective person is the one fucking in the situation. Yeah. So take that for what it's worth. And then you know, you're him, you know, she's just gonna go fuck the first guy that she's with after you.

And you're like, God damn it. I put in all this work, and this pussy mine. I've been slaving away. Right. As soon as I walk away, next guy fucking pussy jack swings the pick once and hits the mother load. Uh, amazing advice. Impressing women at work. Uh, she works remotely and I don't. Great start. I have some inroads with music. Did I copy this wrong? You're just getting an incredibly illiterate crowd this one. Do I copy this wrong? These people not educated at all. This is gibberish. Advice, impressing women at work. Well, first of all, you got to work

on your intro. She works remotely and I don't. I have some inroads with musical taste and hard partying I've developed. Cool. She also loves going to a lake a few hours from town and has a friend whose family owns a cabin. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice.

One mention of the tits. One rule. One fucking rule. I know. How big of a, not one mention of the tits. I happen to love that lake too, but I'm just not sure what kind of thing I'm going to do. One mention of the tits, one rule, one fucking rule. How big of a, not one mention of the tits. I happen to love that lake too, but I'm just not sure what kind of moves

I should deploy from here. Should I talk about Bitcoin in my mining machines? Yeah. The book I'm writing? Oh, please never talk about the book you're writing with anyone on earth for the rest, no one. Anyone who's writing a book, please never fucking talk about it. I'm just at a loss crooked crooked face.

Thanks for all the help in the past. Stick the 22 year old who had problems with watching his friends shrinking and smoking around him. Now I kicked that jackass of a shunt to my dick to the car. You remember that guy who said he didn't want to hang around his friends because they were all drinking and parting. He wrote in. Oh shunt to my dick. You remember that guy? He said he didn't want to hang around his friends because they were all drinking and parting. He wrote in.

Oh, Sean, to my... Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an insult to you. Is it? Well, he sees, he said he kicked him. Kicked who? His Sean, to his own internal Sean.

Oh, so he's still partying. I guess he's... I don't know. He's partying. Do what you do. Do whatever you want. Do what you want to do. It's your fucking life, your decision. Well, don't talk about your book.

Don't talk about your crypto. Here's this most remarkable thing that I've noticed about women is they have an unquenchable need to talk about themselves. And all they really want is for guys to listen and get it started. Yeah, just get it's the whack them. Sometimes they don't go right away. You're like, oh, what are your hopes and dreams?

And they're like, oh, you know, I'm just here watching a football game, like a whack. Oh, yeah, what do you think about the patriarchy whack? And they don't work right away. But eventually you're going to hit one. Go. You're being sexually assaulted, whacked, like, oh my God, I can't believe you, I'm so glad you asked that.

Here's a fucking, here's a story about it that'll last you the rest of your life. Yeah, thanks a lot. Start there, don't talk about yourself. Careful, don't talk about your big coins, you're book you're writing and shit. She definitely does not care about either of those things. No one cares about the book you're writing.

Can someone here dick it out? Man, I want everything gone to stop. My head, it just hurts too much. What is going on? Man, why do I keep going? I should be happy, but why did I do that? I had the worst meltdown I ever had, worse than when I tried to kill myself. I yelled at my girlfriend.

I threatened to hit her because I just want everything to go away. Well, everything's not going to do it. I got bad news for you. Now it's done between me and her. I know it. There's no way she'll stay. I don't care about my fucking job. I don't care about how this is going to destroy my blood pressure later.

I just want to stop. He's got to be super fucked up writing this. You think so? Yeah. You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, Dick. Wow, you really have to have a love from life, then. You're ungrown for this one. You helped me get my amazing girlfriend who's way better off without me. You okay. You helped me slowly figure out a little more about myself in ways I would have never been able to by myself,

but I just can't anymore. I want to do more. Uncovering too much. Yeah, I think so, maybe. I want to do more to build more. Uh-oh, sudden, there's a pretty, he's all over the place this guy. I want to create to satisfy this pit inside of me

that I can't understand. Why won't she let me leave? Why even when she's admitted that she's gone, does she not let me leave? Is this in pigeon? Do you need a news girl? He's got to be. I'll say that he's fucked up. I'm sure he's. I'm sure he's good punctuation though. Okay. Good. Better than most. Good. I wanted to write in forever. Something that I hoped would be funny enough to be on the show.

Some just pretty funny. I'm sorry that this ended up being the way it is. I'm sorry I couldn't make this funny anymore. Do you think this guy, what, kill themselves? What's going on here? No, I mean, he just seems like he's in a fucking bad situation in his head. Yeah, you need to maybe take a break, take a chill pill. That's what we call

Yeah, okay, well Um, oh you've been you've been listening for a long time. All right Yeah, I think you need a staycation Well, man, I don't know man, maybe Maybe go go go day without talking. See how far you can just not doing anything. Well, that's sometimes good for you. Sometimes, but in his case, it might not be because he'll have to sit there alone with

his thoughts. No, really. That's the worst place for a person to be. Yeah, because I, as long as they don't make you do anything, all I do is hear the voice in his head going, I suck. I'm a piece of shit. Like I have, I have nothing to offer anybody. Maybe you know, that's what he's thinking. But, you know, it's sitting in it. That's rarely that objective. It's got a lot of conflicting ideas here. Well, he's a little over the road, but I want to build more. I want to know, what do you want to build?

Get some Legos. Well, relax. Is that a figurative build or is that, you know, it doesn't matter? You know, I don't know. Get the Millennium Falcon. Get that big one. Put it on credit. You know, the Lego Millennial Falcon. Build that shit all day. Or you know the Lego Millennial Falcon build that shit all day or millennium Falcon millennium

Millennial Falcon. It's the Millennial Falcon now all right. Did I tell anybody they could call in today? Cords I did all right Hey chords you there What did I tell you to call in about I know is something Well my balls are fixed now. I think oh Yeah, it was wrong with his balls and also If I see CJ I'm tipping his wheelchair. Oh, why would it see you do him? $10 for me an internet poker so I'm very angry about it. Oh, okay, and

I'm very angry about it. Oh, okay. And I'm falling weed balls. And I'm gonna I got a Jansport bag for fucking us. Spike strip. Where's the fake superzee? He's in a chair. I think he's had enough problems with the school coming down on him though. Yeah, I hope his chair has run flat bitch. Fuck you. I'm fucking that bitch. $10. You don't beat me, I'm poker.

For $10. Oh gee, that's $10. All right. All right. Yeah, your mic's a little fucked up. I'm trying to go. Oh man. What?

Oh he's gone. He disappeared. He did? Yeah. Okay. But his balls are fixed. It's balls are big. Good on you, sir.

All right, did I tell anybody else to call in? Oh he's back. I don't know what happened. Hey, you're back. Is it good enough? No. Just say what you say what you're going to say. That is too much.

Fuck, Orrin, he's on grateful that piece of shit. I stole this thunder. He didn't have any fun with you. You're a fucking hoe, Orrin. You motherfucker, that's why you got $600. And lastly sold an album for free and got $1,200 and I got 1800 from my surgery And you didn't get dick This was bar balls so fuck you bitch. You piece of garbage. You had load you were a load tea caller Look my balls and Adam

Adam's Adam's fucking Collins is gonna suck too because if he shoots, uh, Colin, he shoots a gun. Someone's nape going to wipe up the fucking fourth. Yes, that's just one from road rage. I think you're going to hold up a mic. Thank you, Ann, you're thing. Okay.

All right. Let me get these. I see Adam. Adam from Houston has a neurotic story. All right, Karth. Uh, I'm glad that you got your balls fixed. You have to. All right. Get out of here. What happened? What was up with his balls? Get a hernia. I remember he called in. Oh balls fixed. You have to. All right, get out of here.

What happened? What was up with his balls? Get a hernia. I remember he called in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. All right, Adam, you have a neurotic story. What happened? Hey, Dick, how's it going?

What's up? Your balls. Oh, my balls are fantastic, man. That's good to hear. I'm glad. And peak efficiency. But yeah, I got an an erotic story for you. It's from some of my old drug hustle and days back in the day.

Okay. Hey, wait, do you have a podcast with cripple Jesus now? I'm sure I just realized who this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what's up? Oh, yeah, yeah, what's up, Sean? So this is before I got locked up. So this is back in my hustle and days. So I stopped hustle before I got locked up. So this is back in my hustling days.

So I'd stopped tossing before I got locked up. So really they're not related at all. But I was still doing crazy shit back then too. But so anyways, I was working at this hippie bar in downtown Houston where you can smoke weed like a free man. And I was the door guy there. This is like, oh wait, somewhere around there.

So, but, so I go there and I'm in the mood where I don't really have any fucks to give because I have to wake up early the next day to go hit a drug deal. Okay. And early for me is like 10 in the morning. So at that point. Well, you're in Houston.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm working on drug dealer time. It's very different. Oh, yeah. So, but I had no fucks dealer time. It's very different. Oh, yeah, so But I had no fucks to give so I just show up in like a fucking dukey brown like 70s leather jacket at my house slippers that are like a Super Mario Brothers mushrooms Really? Yeah, and there's this chick that was always working with the venue and like offloading all the PA stuff and setting everything up. She get drinks at the bar and this chick was thick man, bad too.

Like nice, see cup tits, the kind of tits that like when you take the bra off, they still they just don't move. I'm like, why are you even wearing a bra? They're just like, oh perfect. You like that, Matt. You like that they don't even move? Well, I like when you take a chick's bra and it's like when you overpacked a hatchback in the back and you open it up and all the groceries just come spilling out.

You know what I mean Sean? Oh my god, all the fucking no no all my chips. But you don't want them to go, you know, if she's standing up, you don't want them to go just straight down. You know what, I'll take it. Yeah, I'll take it. Okay, Go ahead. Yes. So, but this chick sees that I'm wearing these slippers and comes over to me and she's like, oh, I'm

into retro gaming. That's so cool. I'm like, oh, no, shit. I didn't know. This shit, we should hang out afterwards. So really, I'm like, fuck, I got a damn fucking lick to hit like tomorrow. So fuck am I going to be? I got a dread deal. Okay. Yeah. So, but so I take her to one of my other spots. It's kind of like, I call it the middle of nowhere. It was like 20 minutes from everywhere. It was an interesting spot. It was in an industrial district inside of like, it was basically like, oh, I look a little office.

So I really have a little bit. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm like, that was fun, bye. I can tell she was confused as far. Wait, did you fuck her? Did you just there drinking and stuff? We weren't even drinking. I was just hanging out with her for a little bit

because I wanted to feel her ass out because I don't like, back in those days, I didn't just fuck around with any broad. Like, I mean, I knew dudes that like own modeling agencies, the bodrugs for me and shit like that. I'd be hanging around these bras. And I couldn't, I couldn't stand these bitches because they're all about as deep as a kitty pool. And they'll be trying to flirt with me or something. And really, I don't have any time for this

shit because they'll ruin my business. I'll be, I look, I'm not really trying to fuck around. Maybe I'll let you suck my dick or something, but you know, I'm not really into it. Okay. And they would just fuck with these bitches heads. But I like this chick actually. This chick that I was fucking around with, that I just kind of sent back. And because she was an artist actually with somewhat interesting, you know, the creative type. So let go spend the night at the, at the trap house.

And like this is one of those deals where I'm not even in the room. I'm in the back room with all my guns on my laugh and shit and like that just to hop out if anything pops off. Because this is one of those deals. What are they selling? What's being transacted in the other room? Pistol grip pump on his lap at all times. Are you like Charles Bronson and the other like, or what was that got?

There's Bronson, right? Not Charles Bronson. Oiling yourself up naked, ready to bust sound. No, so I had a, we had a camera set setup in the trap house where like I could see and the camera what's going on in the other room. And I'm sitting with my, I'm sitting with my scar on my lap and if something popped off there's this spot in the room where I can stand and there's colored duct tape that go off and raise and people wouldn't realize it.

But I got like speaker wires running around through all the set up and shit like that because it's also a chill spot, but these speaker wires, the way that they're laid out, are in line with the duct tape in my room. So something pops off, I can stand on the spot, look at the camera and see if anybody's on any of those duct tape lines to shoot through the wall. What the fuck? Did you invent that? Yeah. Oh my God, that's pretty fucking sharp. Oh yeah. Wow. It's talking life and death potentially. So you have it. We just you have it mapped out so you can look at the camera and see where people are standing and then shoot through the shoot at

targets in your own room to hit them. Oh, that's cool. That's fucking true. But these dudes are selling birds in the other room. I'm not playing around with these people. So, but this dude is buying the shit is cool. The people that are selling the stuff, they're not my people, but they're cool. They're with, they're, you know, I'm affiliated with my suppose, but everything they do is square business

and guaranteed. Okay. And so the lick happens in like 15 minutes and this dude, the bot the shit, I've stated his house, I've hung out with his family and shit like that. He stays out in Port Arthur and he bought me to a bunch of places

that no white boy has any business going to. And so this dude's cooler than a fan. And so he buys his brick, his bandits leave, man, all this cartel, people, they're gone. And so he buys his brick, his bandit's leave, man, all this cartel people, they're gone. And so he's just like, man, I'm fucking beefing with my wife right now. I don't wanna do shit.

And so he just cussed his brick open. He's like, you mind if I do some of this shit here? I'm like, man, I'm fucking go for it. So we give him the bar mirror. He's throwing lines on this thing. We're snorting lines. Well, he's snorting lines. I'm just chilling, smoking weed and shit.

We're watching like metal lock clips and playing Call of Duty and shit. Yeah. Hang it out for a couple hours and he's like, fuck, what time is it? He just grabs his brick, starts bolting out the door. We're like, dude, this is fucking pile of the coke on the mirror, man. And he's like, man, fuck it, just keep it. I'm like, what the fuck is, there was a small amount. Yeah, at some point, just keep it. It's like, well, that's kind of, now you're asking me to like move. Right?

That's a little more than just keep it. Yeah, so, well, that wasn't that much. It was, I put it in a little film canister thing that I had lying around. It was like half film canister full. Okay. Okay. But, I mean, I do it every now and then,

but really, I'd only get out on the powder, maybe two, maybe three times a year everything had to be right I had to be around the right people at the right venue like you know the vibe had to be perfect Okay, and then when and then when you get out there man It's a fun time time though fucking party unlike it's 1984 But I'm not in the mood so I'm like well fuck I go back to work and This check is there again. I'm like, hey, now we can hang out. You should, don't go.

We're not, I'm not taking you over there. I'm taking you to a different place. So I take her to the trap house so we can off work. Okay. And so we're hanging out. And I showed her more weed than she's ever seen in her whole day in life. And I got this film canister full of coke and really I don't want this shit even lying around because that's a different charge if you get powder involved.

So I'm like, hey, you do coke and I already knew the answer. She's a white chick. She does coke. So she's like, oh, yeah, sure. Like, oh, that's great. I got to go with the bathroom. You know, this is a fucking trap house. You can just do this shit here.

It's not a big deal. And she was acting scary at first. And then she snorted lines were hanging out. And in the casual conversation, it goes from just casually talking to a fucking on the ground in 15 seconds to fucking hell fast. Yeah. And so we banging out, we're staying out all night, she snorted lines. I'm going to insomniac eventually, we take a bunch of ambience and pass the fuck out.

And you know, kind of like I got like a day missing or whatever from like the Ambien Hayes And then she calls me up. She goes, oh, hey, it was fun hanging out with you. You know, I told my guy about you and he wants to meet you I'm like what the fuck? Like fuck is your guy My guy okay Who the fuck is your God? Why are you talking about me? What are you, what are your thoughts on his questions? Clearly. My God. Okay. So it's this dude that she lives with.

And I'm like, what the, I don't know how she convinced me to go see this dude, but she did. Yeah, yeah, so I go and meet her at the bar and then she drives the rest of the way down on the south side and this is like a nice ass neighborhood You got like like nice houses of the pools everything's gated. I mean every like I'm just what the fuck you stay out here and This dude opens the door and he's my dad's age. Okay, and I'm like oh my what the fuck is going on here? Well, this dude's like oh come on in. I'm grilling steaks and grilling potatoes. What do you want on your potatoes?

And he was acting super, super friendly. And we're sitting at the table eating. And he's like, you know, I know you probably got some questions. You're wondering what's going on, but I was in Vietnam. I had an accident out there and I can't get it up anymore. But just being around this girl, it gets me off up in my mind. So let me cut the brass tax. If I pay you $100, will you fuck her?

Again. Yeah, like in front of them. That's what I thought. Did you? I was like, show, I said show me the money. Yeah. So he pulled out some, I was like, see how he pulled out some money. I'm like, fuck it.

Let's do this shit So I'm fucking banging this bitch amazing, and he pulls out a dinner plate that he turns over And he pours some powder out on this stuff and he said there's no lines And this isn't the shit that I gave her the shit that I gave her was like a pearl lesson blue And he's got some stuff that has like yellow is tense to it if I had the guests is probably heroin or something like that I'm not sure was it it hard to do? Was it hard to fuck this girl in front of her, whatever, dad and sugar daddy? Now I'm down for whatever. You're down for whatever, okay? No problem for you. The guy's got spots on his wall. He knows he can kill people through. Not a shit. Well, actually, I thought that some shit like that would happen.

So I just, it's not like I was going to get caught out. So, but anyways, I'm, I'm banging this bitch. And he starts acting fucking weird with this dinner plate. Like, he was sitting there snoring lines in front of me, but he kind of cocks it off to the side. So I can't really see what he's doing in acting just kind of shady. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck?

So I pulled out of this bitch and have to lean all the way over on the side of the bed to see what this guy is doing and he has Shit on this plate like human poo poo shit He's not in he's not in feces You fuck this Sugar baby or whatever crack hole out of the way. Oh, no. Oh, no. So I start freaking smooth the fuck out.

I'm like, you need to get me my money so I can get the fuck out of here. He's snorting, he's playing with shit. What is he doing? What is he doing? I'll get to there. So there's a whole fucking plan. Was it a pile? I opened up that I had no idea what I had done.

Okay. And so, so, but idea what I had done. Okay. And so, but anyways, I'm threatened this dude. I threatened to pistol whip his ass and he's, and he's, so he just gives him my money so I can get the fuck out of there. And I gotta get this bitch to drive me back to my car. Oh, okay. But so she's driving me back.

This chick was into it though. Like, I guess she'd never seen some of the she looked at as an authority figure, just get punk so badly or something like that. So she still wanted to stay fucking around. But I didn't realize how bad I was playing with fire. I figured this chick was about my age. I was in like, I figured this chick was like, I was like 23 when this happened.

And this chick is like a fresh 18. She's barely legal. Oh my god. Okay. This is like black snake. And when level of degeneracy, she drinks at the bar. So I figured she was like at least 21, but not that's not the case. And on top of that, her dad was a baytown sheriff. Oh my god. And when I learned this shit, I'm fucking freaking out. I'm like, oh my God.

How did you know that? How did that come up? How did you find that out? People talk, a man hears. Okay. I heard it through the grapevine. And yeah, that fucking shit was fucking nuts. Oh, and on top of that, this bitch, she was living with this guy.

And this dude had her on like special diets and stuff like that and would take her poop and like put it in the refrigerator with like the dates of what she was doing. And I didn't, at the time, I'd never heard of like the DDLG, whatever the fuck they call it, whatever these fucking mirrors call that shit. But that's what they were doing. Did you see the poop fridge?

Go ahead. No, she just told me about it because I still fucked up. I wasn't about to drop some pre-imposed you do, what am I, Trump? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, who would do that, John? You, no, I'm gonna keep, hang on for a little bit. Put in all that work already.

How long did you date this woman after that? Date, I mean, I fucked her for a little bit, but in all that work already. How long did you date this woman after that? Date, I mean, I fucked her for a while. Yeah. Did you ever see the guy again? Probably like two or three months. Okay, come again. Did you ever see the guy again? No, he didn't want to see my ass because I fucking threatened the shit out of this dude.

What was he doing? If I ever saw this dude again, wait a, we'd end up fighting. And I'm not a fighter. I'll stab a guy. I'm not a fighter. I'm not someone over nothing. What was he doing with the shit?

What were you doing with the shit? He was smelling it. Like he would get off from like particular horders to shit like that. So this dude couldn't even get a wrecked. So he would have to do all sorts of weird shit to like bust and not limp. Wow

Wow, you'd recommend therapy for someone like him. I mean, I had I don't know if you I don't know if you can fix that kind of stuff That's like wire, you know, that's pretty bad wiring like I think those are like Oh, what finally end those are just in there entanglement with the woman Adam, so I just you know, I treated it like it was. I like being around there. I like fucking her, but I wasn't about to really get deeply involved with that shit. Plus, I had two other girlfriends at the time. Like, I'm not trying to, like, I only got so much time.

And on top of that, it shakes in general, I'm bad for business. Okay. So, I mean, I treated it like it is. I like fucking you. I like hanging around you, but that's all it is. And whatever this chick wanted to be more, I was like, no, that's not what's happening. And so eventually she just kind of faded away, which was the best way to do it. Yeah, for sure.

Fading away. You should be so lucky. Yeah. It's a hell of a slide. Where are you saying? That's really that like all I ever did with that chick. She ended up writing a song about me. I don't want to know who it is. Yeah, right. I don't want to. I'm not I'm not going to put their business

out like that. Like they're fucking freaks, but they're they're at the end of the day. They're normies. Uh, um, good story. Does anything make you a rage? Plug your podcast with CJ or with the couple of days. Yeah, I got some that makes me a rage. Bootlick and rebels.

Yeah. Man, I like the right before the election for the presidency. I saw something that made my fucking mind short circuit. This dude had a rig on the back of his truck flying like all these flags. And he had a thin blue line Confederate flag. Cool. Then blue line. What the fuck supporting cops Confederate.

Yeah, with a support the police. Yeah. A boolekin rebel. The people that act like conservatism is the new punk rock that that. That's the one of the craziest things that I ever fucking heard. It's so cringe to hear him talk about how like being trad is punk now like no, it's not. You like Trump was cool and you guys are just barnacles sucking his dick. Like you're nothing.

Nothing, nothing about what you are is cool or counter culture in any way. Your losers, your repressed losers who don't contribute anything to culture by definition. The entire conservative movement is all about building nuclear families that don't participate in culture. You will never win the culture war because everything you believe in is specific to you, unless it's performative, unless you're putting on a performative, conservative, unless this is just a game for you,

and you're presenting yourself as some kind of tread thought, which you probably fucking are, you will never participate in culture, because culture is made by angry people. Angry people who do not have family, who do not have friends who are unsatisfied with everything that they have in life. That is where art comes from.

It doesn't come from somebody who goes home to his wife and kids and it sleeps happily every night. That's not culture. That's just existing. It's also not anybody who goes home to their wife and kids. Yeah. Yeah. But on pump.

Yeah. But that's what there's, oh, you know, the real, the real, the real being a rebel is being extremely happy with you. Like, no, it's not. Never is. It's Trump. Trump is a rebel because he tells fat jokes in a world where you can't tell women to their face that they're either a fat or be a man. That's why he's successful.

No, I know you mean I saw the dead Kennedy's tweeting something about how it was either something in support of police or like something how something. Oh, what the fuck? If you hold people that have authority that with reverence over you, you're a fucking Stockholm syndrome beta cook. Yeah. You're fucked. Yeah, I really hate.

I really hate that. Trad is the new punk. Like no, it's no, it's fucking not. You guys, you love the police. The police could kill your kids and you'd still hold fundraisers for it. Cause you fucking worth it. Yeah. Punk rockers also had fun.

These people don't have fun. They're fucking kill joeys. No, they don't. Uh, dead Kennedys tweet support for Romney. There you go. Yeah. All right, Adam. Oh my god.

What's your podcast with, uh, Couple Jesus? Oh, oh, it's, uh, who gives a shit? That's doing very well. Uh, I'm enjoying it. So, you know, CJ is criminally funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll put the, yeah, I'll put the link in the chat and everything. Like the examples of things of like who gives a shit. I talked about the Gina Carano situation, but I took it from the people that are talking about her.

Right, so who gives a shit? A fucking game, a blue check mark games journalist, it's a trans mask boy that's into gross snakes and dolls and take the piss out of them. Okay. Who, who gives a shit? I sell that Gina Karina Karina stuff still cracking me up. It's funny.

They're pretending that she's going to launch some kind of like she's, she's some kind of sea movie. Like no one gives a shit if she was in the Mandalorian or not. And that itself is like just something that you watch if you're addicted to our wars. Yeah. No one cares. Exactly. No one cares about her having any kind of movie career after this.

But they're like, they're like congratulating her on this. Like, oh, yeah, you're doing, you're doing this army of people like, oh, you're doing such a good thing by just wasting your time with this time with this completely ineffective counter movement against Hollywood. People who are not famous, congratulate people who have no chance of being famous, congratulating people who are remotely famous for not being for no longer being in a big property. That's what it is. Great. Awesome. Go back to nothing. So all the

people that are into having strong female leads get a strong female lead fire. Yeah. All right, Adam, get out of here. Thank you for your story. I think go fuck yourself. I love you Sean. Love you too. See you. Okay, buddy. This is an addiction. God, he has good stories. Shooting through a wall. Okay, buddy, this is an addiction. God, he has good stories. Shooting through a wall. I mean, yeah, pretty smart. Yeah. I've heard of shit like that, like in movies.

Like, I don't know. Yeah, maybe. I mean, it's, yeah, it's, it's good preparation. Like, I mean, he, he knows, he knows the possible stakes, you know? Like, even, he, he, he knows, he knows this possible stakes. Mm-hmm. You know, like he, even at a young age, he doesn't seem like some people, it's like, oh, we're going out and like playing Call of Duty. We're playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, no, this shit's like fucking real. Fucking lines on the thing. I go, okay, well, I'll just

shoot a year. Yeah. Right here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he knows how, it's like home alone. I'm sure Kevin McAllister, I mean, he knows how, it's like, home alone. I'm sure Kevin McAllister. It's something that he hoped he would not have to use, but he was ready. Ah, bottom. All right, anyway, this is a mid-act show. I'm a pageant of consciousness addiction.

I've seen X2's date. All right, well, fuck it here. We'll do some voicemail. Is that thing? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick.

This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick. This is a big dick.

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Sure, why not? Here's a rage for you. People who use different technology in exactly the same way as the old technology, and then they get frustrated when it's not the same experience. Like somebody who's been driving an automatic car the whole life will get a manual car because I want to do fun things, but then all I do is just commute. I like they just upshift and downshift and rush hour traffic. Oh yeah. Of course it's going to suck man. Yeah. You got to do something fun. You got to do donuts. You got to block shift and traffic. You got to run off a pedestrian. Don't make the manual fun. It's like they get a Linux box

and then what do they do? They just end up with Windows games on it. It's like, oh, the dot-net thing is not working when I try to run it in one. Just fucking get a one-to-one. It's a wrong application. The technology in its unique, powerful ways. Yeah. Yeah, you're in there. Doris, driving a stick is going to be, you're going to be pissed off. You're going to be, you're going to be less happy than you were with an automatic if you use it the same way. Okay, here we go. Hey, do you have any question on reporting down from the south?

No, power's back on. Water has gone out for a bit. Back, Michael out again. Just want to say, here's what makes me rage now is that people are sharing photos of domino's workers. And some part of Texas, I don't know where, because everything is fucking close here. But our stress out after working, and the capture is, oh, they deserve a $15, you know, middle wage, they're all face-to-face, you know.

They're essential workers too. You know, we're not a first off, they're essential workers too. You know, we're in a fuck, at first off, they're not essential workers. Second, is that like, we're the fuck with this whole support when the fucking lockdown was happening, you know, when everybody was like requesting everything from Amazon. You never saw about these are these are these essential workers that delivery men or all this. So there's something never fucking said that, you know, they never said that to anybody else who lost their job and this sort of thing, you know, they never said that to anybody else who lost their job

And this sort of thing, you know, but they said that to like nurses and shit, you know But now they're using this as a proper $15 an hour sort of thing, you know, by the way Not allow these businesses even bring people in the middle of fucking Dominos by the way, yeah, but you know whatever by the way, but you know, whatever case propaganda, I fucking hate it. It's so stupid. Anyway, go fuck yourself and say warm out there. Say warm. Yeah. We got power. Good report. Guys just run your state like California. You got power. $15 an hour. You know, I got to know, I got into an argument with, with guys about this,

I don't even have to talk about it lately. Yeah, fuck the ominous, making pay, fuck them. I mean, there's no more small businesses, so what does it matter when minimum wage is, just price, make it a hundred dollars an hour. 15 is fine, no, there are no mom and pop businesses. So what does it matter what the minimum wage is? They're gonna replace you with robots either way.

Get it while the getting is good. Somebody accused me of being a communist, recently. Like what part of you really get accused of the extremes on every front. You're a surprise, you're a communist. Like where is the capitalism around you? Well, no, I know. No, I know.

No, I know. No, I know. Point to me, one thing. It's just something that people, it's like, oh, we're a capitalist society. Not real. Not really. Where? No, not really.

Prove it in one, find me three things. Not in decades. No. Okay. There you go. Hey, Dick Hachon, chill, pal, D.P. You're pretty petty, but motherfucker doesn't piss me off. Somebody's been throwing their bagged up dog shit in my trash can when I take it out to the curb.

They don't do it before the bad man comes. They're doing it after seven o'clock. Mm-hmm. Do I come home? You know, flip the lid up to make sure it's gone. Yeah. And every fucking week, there's been a little baggy dog shit. It doesn't get trashed. Only on trash day?

Yeah. They're using his trash. Yeah, it's my garbage trash. Yeah, it's my garbage. I don't have a dog. If I wanted to pick up dog shit, I would go get a dog. But I don't think so. I think I solved the problem though. Oh, good. Yeah. have a dog if i wanted to pick up dog shit i would go get a dog but don't sleep in

i think i thought the problem of the whole yeah this uh... friday i turned my dumpster upside down what's a shit bag fall on the sidewalk i took my trash bag or my trash can your sidewalk back up back up to my front door the next day sometime after seven, it's gone. I'm really hoping it was a person and not probably isn't saying,

in your car. I hope that person's shot and it fucked the jails up. I guess I can't use, oh, I almost said my name. I guess I can't use D.P. trash can anymore. If not, use his house. Gonna get a fucking porch security camera and I'm going to return to send her. It's your fucking trash dude.

I'm looking garbage. It's a thing. It's really fucking petty, but not a fucker. It makes me a rage. It's garbage. It's garbage. It's garbage. Love you guys.

You don't eat off of the inside of your trash can. Just let the people throw their dog shit away. She's just right. I don't think it's a big deal either. Happens to me all the time. Yeah. And you know, I'd be at first and I got to get over. I really don't care.

I don't care. What do you want to carry it around? Take their dog shit home with them. Throw it in the fucking house. You bag it up and fucking tie a knot in it. It should be, it should be fine, right? You're the homeowner. It should be fine.

It helps you to have shit off of the sidewalk. Yeah. You idiot. Okay. It all makes me a rage. And I just wanted to speak into a void. I don't care where the send up dick, but is open of Hulu. And the first suggestion is this documentary on only fans.

And it's like, why do you need a documentary on only fans? Are they trying to solve a mystery? Are they trying to discover something new about Vellman, Daphne, your only fans, Horace? Pornography, like like what's the mystery? What exactly are you uncovering? I like the people.

Some of them. Want a bang other people? It's like crazy. Really? You know, only fans is sight with people show their genitals and then they message other people that they yeah he's right he's right what's the fucking mystery here's the answer it's called we're animals and we want to fuck each other and then we want to put

it online and make people pay for it yeah like there's no mystery I don't care about it's documentary because it's all just gonna be like, you know, 50% of the people who pay for only fans, they all wanna have sex. And then there's a people who wanna have sex. Only 50. And they wanna jerk off. Like, what is, there's nothing.

It's just, it's bullshit. Yeah. I already know what it's gonna be about be about to be like, you know, people No, I thought I knew what it was going to be about. So crazy It's just going to be a big bullshit anyway. Whatever. Yeah, that's it Um, I thought it was going to be about I thought it was going to be about how little the women make or the times that they were in, like how rough it was that they turned to only fans, which is what you would expect. I mean, that kind of a lot of that.

Yeah. Like, there was one that did amateur porn a while ago. It was something like pretty girls introduced me to the pretty girls or something like that, where it's like about how these guys would pray on young, hot women and put them in amateur porn and then basically throw them away. That's what I was hoping. Like dog shit and DPs trash. Yeah, like dog shit and DPs trash.

That's what I was hoping for. I wanted to see women being destroyed. I, you know, I like the other facts about it. Right. Right. All right. Let's see how miserable these women have it because it's still a job. Like the customer just seems fucking horrible.

I don't care how much money you make on all of it. Sounds like a fucking nightmare. These guys sending you weird shit. Well, you're beholden to the consumer. You you have to, you say you're gonna do this, you actually have to do it and to get money for that, say, job. And they don't wanna fuck you. That is a job.

And they all hate you. No matter what they say, all of your whatever on only fans hate you and wanna fuck you. Like this is men and women, this is basic stuff. I turned it on and it is an advertisement for Only Fans. It is a gay guy. It opens with a gay guy who's like doing a photo shoot for his Only Fans and talking about how much money he makes.

And then it's fat chick after fat chick, human interest story about how they're a mechanic during the day and they're making all this money and only fans that's a completely infomercal. It's a fucking infomercial. And then they have vice versa. You can't look like that and make all that money. Yes. And I thought, I was watching with 80s girl

and we were like, well, at least we're gonna see some hot chicks, but it is gay man, fit, super, super fit gay man, who's the king of the queens, who's king of the queens, on only fans, making a mint, and then it's just fat chick, fat chick, fat chick, they've got clips of her like welding. I said, you gotta be fucking kidding me. There's nothing for you. There's a commercial for only fans.

This is, it's not enough. What they had was not enough. They decided to take a fucking info-merchal to see how Baywatch was an ad for plastic surgery. Yeah. I'm the fucking, I'm Don Wario of Beverly Hills and they bring in one more on after they never show the botched. Like, it's just this sick nihilistic half entertainment

and half info-merchal for a product It's just this sick nihilistic half entertainment and half infomercial for a product that is a disease on people, which you'd think I would additionally like. But then watching these people elevated to reality stars, it's like, oh, you gotta be, then to add the word, the salt in the wound is that every single one of them was unfuckably fat. Go.

Except for the gay guy. Which doesn't do anything for you anyway. But it's training me the whole time. I'm like, oh, God, I can't wait to get back to the gay guy. And I think you're way too many. What am I thinking here? At least I don't have to fucking. He's not gonna see this fucking hanging over it.

It's fucking welder. This mechanic doing more of her, whatever this is. Yeah. It was very, very weird. I only made it through about half. That is weird. That is where they took that path with it. It is like an info, some like an info, Marshall.

Yeah, like, well, we're legitimizing this today. Yeah. Wow, man, okay. It's truly you too can make money at home. It was. Yeah. The fucking was. You think, you know, like the people who do this are like out of your league, right?

You know, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're fat and disgusting too. And they're not very intelligent. And we will show you. And by the way, look at this hot guy. He's gay. That in case you're wondering why your boyfriend doesn't look like this. It was real fucking weird. Give it a shot. Let's see. God, maybe a couple more. All right.

Uh, oh, Hey, vacation. Let's see. This week is I I know we all hate on cyclists and bicyclists. Yeah. I read you this week that those people that get those pallets and bikes, they're those like $3,000, $2,000 bikes with like the screen on them and you can sign up for a class. And it's a stationary bike. If it's a $2,000 bike. You can't ride any wicker. And all these women I see are always going

to these fucking glasses and buying these things. And I was like, I'm regular fucking bike and bike around. I don't know. Well, it's not. That's not fun though. To bike around, yeah. Depends on the area you live in,'m sure. Yeah and then that's it.

Yeah. Drive over there, deal with shit, drive around, deal with everything honking at you. Yeah. Look, look, look. Women are losing weight, okay. Let's just don't be hating on. Yeah. Think of the end game. Yeah. Let's stay focused on the prize here. Mm-hmm. Guys, stay focused on the goal. I heard they gamify it though, like Pelotons, like you're gonna do like tricks. To get guys to do it. No, to get everyone to stay on it. They try to make it a dicting like Robin Hood. Yeah. Huh. It makes sense that they would do that. Yeah. Like Robin Hood. Yeah, huh? This time it makes sense that they would do that. Yeah. Can you get only fans on the screen?

You can get only only fans points. Yeah. The fat the more weight you lose the fatter she gets. Uh-huh. It's amazing. Yeah, you've made it. Hey, Nick. Listen to the 245 right now and it's funny that you started off the show with a bit about disinformation and You know how you hear the start of a bit about disinformation and how... And here the center has been to regulate disinformation, get rid of it. It's a little ironic because we borrowed that bit up with bit of your own disinformation which just makes sense that you'd be against the people being against disinformation. But if you were to done five minutes of research or any due diligence...

I don I know. I figured out that what Chancellor Epper was trying to say was that Valerie Thomas is about this the 3D television. She didn't. Not television. She didn't. 3D television. Yeah, it was a shitty way to word it, but like, it's not five minutes of research.

You probably could have figured that out. So I don't know. She didn't. You see, that's the part that's so important to remember, is that both of the things that she did not do in any of the way that I interpreted are both true. She did not invent the TV.

Favorably, that was my interpretation. She certainly did not invent the 3D TV. When did the 3D TV, because I haven't looked into that, like when that came out or when the technology for that came out or when the red and the blue goggles have been interested since the 1800s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The polarizing, I wouldn't say that the polarizing element of that is an invention, exactly. Well, I understand that. wouldn't say that the polarizing element of that is an invention. Yeah, exactly.

Well, that's a little better. Um, when did they slap down the TV? I have no idea. Let's see. Let me see when they slapped it on there. Polarized 3D TV. I don't know. It's one of those things that I don't think anyone takes credit for because

it wasn't a... I know what you mean. Like a lot of people get their hands and stuff like that where, and she wasn't any of them. Like it took one guy sitting there to think of a non-mechanical way to create a television. Yeah, you gotta have that fucking, you gotta have that beam going around. Now that's how we're doing it.

There you go. There's a moment of genius. That guy fucking invented it. That other guy maybe kind of invented it a little bit, at least one we're doing it. There you go. There's a moment of genius. That guy fucking invented it. That other guy maybe kind of invented it a little bit, at least one of them invented it. One of these two guys, well now let's take this old technology throw it on here. That's not an invention.

And she had nothing to do with either of those things. Let me see. Where's the history? Doesn't even say. Edward Lund. Polarized 3D glasses only became practical after the invention of Polaroid plastic sheet polarizers, polarizers by Edwin Land, who was privately demonstrating their use for projecting and viewing 3D images in 1934, projecting and viewing, but not moving

yet. I mean, once you got into TV and get the polarizing, I'm seeing the progression. They were first used to show a three. three, that's what pisses me off. The shit that that woman worked on had nothing to do with polarized lens TV or 3D movies. It's nothing, absolutely nothing. It's not you are close. Instead, it had fucking nothing to do with it. Yeah.

Yeah. Head on. Polaroid filters. Lobby, belieby blue. Beginning in the 70s and 50s, 3D feature films are released. Yeah. There you go. I went. Yeah. Yeah. Settle. Find me the disinformation. One more chance. The rapper. Okay. Here's one.

I gotta rage. L Moving your fucking glasses. It is so fucking hard when you can't find the stupid fucking things that you need to see. It's easy to find if you can see, but you can't because you don't have the glasses. So I've been spending four fucking hours going around my house trying to find the fucking things. And it still haven't. I have shit to do today. This is fucking bullshit. Anyway, come with us. Losses, glasses. People's glasses are really understanding, you know?

Yeah, they face daily oppression. Yeah, and they know, they're not always complaining about it. I mean, not just to a show. Well, just that guy. How often do you go, like once last time you're gonna be complaining about the first time that somebody called that represents at least a thousand other people.

Yeah, there you go, right? They have a good, they have a pretty good sense of humor about it though, don't you think? My class is, they're not complaining about it. Why? You don't complain about imaginary shit all the time. No, I know, you should complain about it. Where the fuck did my glasses go? Yeah. I mean, you kind of do need to see. You do. Maybe they're all faking. I don't know. All right, everybody. See you next Tuesday.

Have you tried not being a whore? Oh, the guy who wrote the advice email was in there. He sent the email about the Virgin. He's 26 and yes, he has had sex before. Okay, answer that. Well, good luck, man. Yeah. Let us know how it goes. Fuck with her head. You have to.

Oh, it's of them. They like it. Women need their brains scrambling. She's all right. Well, she's fucking with her own head. She's fucking with her head so much. Exactly. That's what she's accustomed to.

Exactly. That's the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. Oh, and try to, no, and train her on that honesty shit. That's never works for any, but she's accustomed to. Exactly. That's the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. Oh, I'm trying to, no, I'm training on that honesty shit. That's never works for anybody. She's not gonna do it. She's not gonna do it. Yeah. All right, goodbye.

See ya.