The Dick Show - Episode 253 - Dick on the Penis Extension Machine

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

Gas weed wackers, The Dick Show Weight Loss Contest for Big Fat F*cks, Johnson Brown's penis extension adventure, private national parks, striking teachers, women abdicating responsibility, how to make an imaginary girlfriend, and not being first pick; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

God, I really fucked up everyone's plans today, didn't I? Nobody was doing anything today. Because it's Easter. It's not a cool person holiday. It's definitely not. It's definitely not. It's a loser holiday. Yeah.

Like for people with families. It was rough. For both of us, Sunday Mass went really long today. Oh boy. Sorry guys. Oh boy. Sorry. We had some real demons to work out.

It was a real mess. In choice. Oh, fuck, I spilled all over myself. I don't even need this beer. Really? Yeah. Well, that's good. That means you don't have a problem.

No, the dog. You just want it. Between the dog and the drugs, they've destroyed what's anything that's left of, any of the fumes that are left in my body. Oh, I just wake up when the dog I go to sleep when the drugs wear off and I wake up when the dog gets hurt. One of the something's gonna give I thought it was gonna be the dog. She barked to get you up in the morning or no, she does this She does this like Like a like a ghost like a pedophile ghost

Like a ghost, like a pedophile ghost. Oh boy. It sits there and they are caged. Oh. I'm hungry, I have to go out. Yeah, it's something. I don't want you to sleep. I'm bored. Yeah.

Wake up. They do it for any number of reasons. Wake up and clean your life up. Yeah. I need to, I'm on a schedule. Not happening. The cleaning the life part up is not happening. Oh. Dogs gonna have to get with the program.

I've messed up Easter every year, I think. Really? Yeah, I always plan a trip on it or something. It just comes at it. It doesn't feel like an Easter. Well, Easter moves around every year too. They should put it right on Christmas. Yeah, I mean, do we need?

Yeah, how many family days do we need every year? How many forced family days do we need? They both have to do with Jesus. Just, I mean, they did it with President's Day. Exactly. Remember? Combine them. When we were real young, it was Washington's birthday, Lincoln's birthday.

Yeah. Then they said, no. Same day, Jesus was born and died. He was born twice, resurrected. He was resurrected on Easter. Yeah, that's the... He was resurrected on Easter, yeah, that's the. He was resurrected on Easter. Yeah, that was the, that's the story,

that's the holiday. Came back to life, huh? He did. Oh boy. Okay. Rolled that fucking stone right out of that tomb. Cool, man. Hey, whatever, whatever, you, you. On your holiday.

All right, let's start the show. They went to check and like he was like, came up behind him and he was like, Hey, who are you guys looking for? Oh, I'm like, oh, showmanship. Right. Uh huh. Close your eyes.

That's really how it went. How it went down. I don't, no, I think it was just empty. I don't think he snuck up behind him and was like, gotcha! Could they really tell the difference to all the beards? And so, could they really tell one guy from another if someone just came up and said,

like, hey, actually, I'm Jesus, we think about that. I don't know, man, the way that they look in all the pictures, they. Oh, that white guy? Yeah, with the beard, the kind of the long hair. Yeah, right. What do you wouldn't have looked like that?

No. And he'd only been about four feet tall. What do you wouldn't have looked like that? No. And he'd only been about four feet tall. Yeah, he wouldn't have looked like that, but, you know. Taller than Ethan Ralph. I don't know how to ask him. Chances are they all look the same. So the thing still holds true. Ralph is 5'8".

He's got to be. He's not a, he's not a tiny guy like everyone was saying. Well, he looked much bigger than Riley on the, on the tape. Well, in what way? Do you mean that? I mean, taller. Okay, he looked much bigger than Riley on the on the tape. Well, in what way? Do you mean that? I mean, taller. Okay, here you go. That leads me to my first. Ready? Yeah! Yeah

How welcome there you want to get you know you know you got it as a show Where does the contest give me a lot for Mount Burger even the hardest city failure I'm your host Nick Mashlick. Okay, there's 20 million out of a van But America's worst Mexican 103 weeks running joining these always is world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer Hello, Nick. What's up, buddy? I'm a little goofy today. Yeah. I'm a little bit goofy and out of sorts today. A long trip into the wilderness will do that to me every time. Oh, oh, oh.

It's really hard to get, you know what I've discovered this time? What's up? By the way, we're doing a Dick show weight loss for fat fucks contest. Catch you, Tyler. Thanks. And it's for non-fat fucks too. Dick show weight loss for fat fucks contest. Catch you, Tyler. Thanks. And it's for non-fat fucks too. Dick show weight loss for fat fucks. That fucks contest.

The content, good. After the, after the footage of Riley and Ralph fighting, went around the internet, you know, all the way around. The general consensus was, okay, this is not funny anymore. This isn't funny anymore. It never stopped being funny. Well, it's a bad news for you.

If that's what you want. Well, that might have hit close to home in the community maybe. Which part? I mean, maybe people are like, hey, I'd like to punch that guy in the face. I mean, like either one, it's like, I kind of look like that too.

I can't. It's kind of like looking in the face. It's like looking in the face. Yeah, they can, right. You can imagine yourself as either one right, right, depending on who you're siding with. And you're like, oh, I don't want to, I don't want to be on film. I don't want to be on camera, but looking like that,

I don't care how good a punch it was. I just, I mean, come on. Well, that was the inspiration. It was kind of maybe on projecting. Oh, maybe your projecting. I don't know. No, I think it was a wonderful fight because I think those, those two individuals are a lot of people don't like them.

Yeah. On both sides. It's like, well, you can't really, you know, like Hitler and Stalin fighting. Yeah. Why'd we show their out? Or like, Ollie and Liston. Yeah. Why'd they be so there out? Or like Ollie and Liston. Yeah. Nobody wanted, they hated,

public hated them both. Mm-hmm. It's like, can they both lose? So we're doing the weight loss contest. I think I'm gonna start on the 15th. I'm gonna have signups at fat.dick.show. I figure we have some teams do total weight loss. Yeah.

I could shed about 20 LBs. Okay. How about you? How about yourself? Yeah. I'd like to drop some. Yeah, we could do podcast hosts, maybe get podcast audiences in on it,

get some teamsmanship going. Yeah, how do you do it? Because, I mean, do you do it? How are you going to do it? Total weight, I mean, percentage weight. That makes the most sense to me. You've got a guy, you've got guys coming into this, this audience. I've seen these shows. Every show I think, God, I should have ordered more three XLs. You know what I mean? Yeah. There are some 400 pounders in this audience who could drop, but 40 pounds, that's 10% of their weight, right? So if I lose 20 pounds, which I think is reasonable for me, 20 LBs, that's 10% of the

same thing. So that's pretty, I don't know. Yeah, it's a percentage we could do. Yeah, percentage is right. I'll have a separate bracket for women. Yeah. There's no winners. Only if you didn't, I'm sorry, you didn't lose enough weight.

So I was in the fat.dick.show. We have a bonus episode. Yeah. That's a good one. I was a blast. That was a good one. What was your favorite invention? Um, favorite invention. Um, probably the fat women doors one. That was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah. There

would even it was, you know, it's, it's hackable, but it's, you still, you know, it's better do you do nothing because there's a way around that fat women here. I know. What are they? You know, how much effort are they putting into things? Yeah. No, that's a way around. I'm about fat women here. I know. What are they? You know, how much effort are they putting into things? Anything. Yeah. No, that's a good one. That's a good one. What was another good one?

I don't know. Something with the scope that you put in your butt. Oh, yeah. Your invention, right. I don't have cancer, by the way. Yeah, that's good. Most annoying thing too, right when I went to the doctor last week to get that throat pain looked at, like a half hour before the appointment, it just started to feel a little

bit better. Yeah, it's like your car knows it's going to the mechanic. Oh, no, it's not doing it. Feel worse before I go. Just a big, yeah, because then I'm rooting for disasters just so I don't waste my time. They're going to go, I don't see anything. I don't see anything. I don't see anything. I'm what's the pain like, well, this morning it was an eight,

but now it's a four and a half. Did you start the YouTube live feed by chance? Nope. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. All right. Who's texting you?

My girlfriend. Oh. Oh, see, I told you I was out of it. Oh, sorry, guys, on YouTube. Oh, boy, I've been going for 10 minutes already. Fat.dick.show. If you didn't miss anything. Oh, no.

This is, okay, this is what makes me very easy. So I mean, camping in Joshua Tree. After my tent was destroyed in Burning Dick. The last, yeah, I said never again. It's just two, I'm getting too old to get this tent shit. Now, you know, tent. He's disgusting, lowering, oh, you mean so you want to like an RV or a trailer? Yeah, you're into the trailer and took it out. That is the way to go.

Oh, God. Scrares. We took it out to not Joshua Tree, but like an adjacent private campsite run by a bunch of interesting individuals. Joshua plant. Yes, actual plant. They had spread out, but they had it all done like a regular federal land park, like pulling into those spots that they have.

Like private land? Yes. They have a huge expanse of 600 acres of land. They have little pulling spots, fire pits, port of potty's everywhere. They had a cool little junkyard with a bunch of cars and dogs running all over the place. That sounds right for that area.

And I thought once again, once again, it really started to make me question why we have a federal government running anything. So, this was, no, how does, how do the like state authorities at least, they have, there has to be some oversight, right? Like, I mean, if you're gonna, I guess you can just like put stuff in.

Yeah, 100 bucks? A hundred bucks. No, no. Rangers up your ass all day. Like no signs of a way. I mean, they're safe. So these people, they're obviously running it like a business. Like it. So they've got to cite and all that stuff.

And yeah, everything is normal except without the government messing around with it. Just driving there and relaxing. That's pretty nice. Without the constant pressure to conform to this type of camping, this type of pulling, without all the edges shaved off, now I'm just going to be more bitter. Yeah. I see the federal land ones.

More bitter. I wonder how many of those are around the country? What? I mean, private ones like that. Yeah. Probably a lot. Yeah. There would be more. They just have some land. That's pretty cool.

There. Um, let's see. I also realized out in the desert that it's not, it's not you that are fat. It is your clothes make you look fat. That's the problem. Yeah, but you know, that's an excuse that women have been using for years.

No, no, no, no. Women, it's both the problem of them and the clothes. Well, for men, Sure. Due to sexual dimorphism. Yes. Right, the clothes make us look fat. Yeah.

The ass makes the woman look fat. Yes, exactly. Okay. make us look fat. Yeah, the ass makes the woman look fat. Yes, exactly. Okay, because when you start taking off, you spend a weekend without a shirt on, and you're like, I'm not, this isn't so fat after all, because you don't have your shit hanging off of you like a tarp. Yeah, you know?

Okay. Looking all shitty in the corners over here, emphasizing, making you look like you have tits. You know, I was getting sweaty in the corners over here, emphasizing, making you, look like you have tits. You know, I'm getting sweaty in the wrong spots, and clinging. Yeah. Yeah. So we gotta get, it's the clothes that make you look fat.

That's what I'm saying. Clothes make the fat. Yeah. It's white boy summer. Did you know that? No. I didn't know that either. White boy summer.

White boy summer. Well, are you planning to have a white boy summer? Uh, I mean, I think I've White boy summer. White boy summer. Well, are you planning to have a white boy summer? I mean, I think I've had a number of white boy summers. How would you define a white boy summer? Probably getting a sunburn. I mean, you know, that's kind of a typical white boy summer thing. Black boy summer, live it up.

White claws and sunburns. White claws and sunburns, yeah. White claws and sunburns, yeah. That's something you gotta, you know he kind of just got to do once a year, whether you need it or not. Yeah. I've got a, let's see here. I should also makes me rich. Gas, gas, weed whackers and power tools. Yeah, so he's using a power tool right now. Oh, this is this fucking later time. This is a disaster.

Yeah. My dad gave me a gas weed whacker when I remember he gave me a little Mexican starter kid, a leaf blower, a weed whacker. Right, and a trucker hatch. Trucker hatch. A little red Toyota. Yeah. Well, this, you know, a gas weed whacker is what you would need for this area.

Yeah. You don't want 300 feet of extension cord. Well, so I was trying, it's always a pain in the ass to use because you've got to go mix the gas. Yeah, it's a little too strict, right? It's a gas oil mixture, right? I had some kind of fucking oil pull the cap off, cap immediately breaks. Push the thing to fill it up. Okay, all kinds of steps. Do the pull the thing until it's

a little bit easier. Figure is going to break off. And then the throws are on. I mean, I haven't used one in years, but the, yeah, the, the rip cord, you're like a lawnmower is a nice satisfying pole. Like an outboard engine is you can pull it. Yeah. And this one's about six inches. Give it your all. This is like beating off, right?

Uh-oh. So I worked on that for a little bit, trying to get it started, wouldn't start of course. It's okay, well, this is fucking broken, right? Let's try this and it's fucking broken. Yeah. Try to get it, look at the spark plug, huh? Oh, I don't know, that is fucking broken, right? Let's try this and it's broken. Yeah, try to get a try to look at the spark plug. Oh, I don't know. That looks fucking normal.

Okay. So I'm kind of filtering some kind of fuel filter in the middle. Okay. Well, there what did he give you a used one? Well, he had used it. Yeah, it works when he gave it to me. Yeah. And it just stopped working.

So I'm fiddling around with it for an hour and a half before even starting the chores. Right? So this is, the day is already completely blown because of this thing. Yeah. So I call dad up and say, hey, what's, so what's the, you know, what's the deal with this thing? And he goes, oh, leave it in the sun, try this and that. He said, I'm done. Leave it in the sun. Leave it in the sun, warm it up. So I go to, I go to Home Depot and buy a new one with a battery. You know, like a first world. Yeah, I was going to say the, yeah, the battery ones have got a last of a while, right? They last until I'm done. Whenever it runs out, I think this is a few. This is a good time for me to stop all this working anyway.

Do you really want, I mean, you know, yeah, when you could waste an entire weekend. I'll give myself fatigue. If I stay out there for too long with that. Right, you'll have to check into the hospital for fatigue, for exhaustion. I've always wanted to do that. Yeah. I have like a full on mental breakdown.

Exhaustion. Check into the hospital. Yeah, of course, I mean, you know, mental breakdown, but, you know, in the celebrity world, that means drugs are alcohol 100% of the time. Yes, that's what I mean. 100% of the time, too. So I get the electric one.

My dad finally text back, he says, hey, you know, you should try to take it to like a vacuum repair store. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. Do those repairs, do those exist? People just fucking order a new vacuum on Amazon now. Yeah, I think vacuums are all disposable. These days is a mess.

No, we're just like, ah, fucking thing. Just, you know, order a new one. I'll be here tomorrow. I mean, they're fucking tinkering in the garage with air filters and gas mixtures, like an alchemist trying to figure out how to start my fucking charges. You know, thanks Dad, but I just bought the ratio right?

No, I'm sure I didn't. I didn't do any of it right. So I said, oh, that's okay, Dad. I just went and bought a battery, one. No, he's insulted. I'm deep-bony. He goes, oh yeah, good idea. That's what I did when I gave you that one.

Oh, perfect. Perfect. This thing's a useless hunk of shit to me. I'll give it to him. If it gets it working, I did a good thing. If not, he'll figure it out. There's some trash for me to you. I bought a better one that I have for myself. I'm going to go ahead and stick you with this one. Of course. Oh, that's a good idea. I did that anyway. It really changed.

It really saved me so much time. Definitely solved a problem for me. And maybe I did something nice. Yeah. Didn't just throw it away. Yeah. That's hilarious. Oh, good idea.

I did the same thing when I gave you that one. Who are you gonna give it to? I left it in the street. Oh, you did, okay. I was in like 20 minutes. Mexican dudes just rolled up and like, oh yeah. What's going on here with this garbage?

Yeah. Oh, the thing I'll be gone and take it away, it's in your heart. Yeah. Come back for the girl. Just like, eh. It ain't got no gas in it. Ha, ha, ha. Let me see here. Oh yeah. The real doll for dogs. Oh

minimum wage should be $44. Oh, is that what that yeah. Yeah. What do you think? I don't think that's high enough. You know, depends if probably not in California. No. Oh, if it grew at the same pace as Wall Street bonuses. I mean, I get it. Sure. Wall Street. As Wall Street crooks. I mean, we know that fucking livable wages have just gone the way of the dinosaur. It's crazy. Yeah. Oh, here's how races view other races, I forget.

Oh, really? Yeah. 44 minimum wage. What do you think would be, when do you think, when would be the end of, what's the top limit on minimum wage, do you think? Oh, man. 100 bucks minimum wage. Is you think? Oh, man. Hundred bucks minimum wage. Is there any top at all?

You just price it out so no one can work again and everybody's at home on UBI forever. That's the, yeah, that's the future anyway. Fuck, I don't know. How racial groups rate each other with data from the 2020 AINUS time series. What is that? What's I don't know? Association of white respondents mean ratings of whites. It looks like right white respondents are, they're all pretty much equal. What so that's. But who's I think a rating on the respondents?

They're okay. Mean rating of whites. Oh, I see. A rating of blacks. Right. Oh, okay, mean rating of whites. Oh, I see. mean rating of blacks. Right. Oh, a little bit lower. Yeah, but they're all kind of right there on the, on what would be like the, yeah. One of the blue lines in a hockey rank if you're viewing it from the, oh yeah, that's

a good sign. Yeah, a little, um, Hispanic respondents mean rating of whites. What is that? How they positively? I think that's low. It's on the left. Yeah, I mean, that's, I would say, yeah, as you go What is that, there's a lot of positive. Positively? I think that's low. It's on the left. Yeah, I mean, I would say, yeah, as you go to right, that would mean a positively, right?

Wow, look at that. So the bar is very big. Hispanic respondents are, they're overwhelmingly positive about their own race, by the mean, then they rate Asians and blacks the same, right? And it looks like a 40%. Yeah. And then white people down there are all the way down at 20% versus the Hispanics on 60%

ratings of themselves. Huh. American National Election Studies. What do you think about that? How are they? I don't know. Hispan interesting? Like, why people so much? Yeah, I don't know that they didn't like why people more than they don't like black people and Asians. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who, you know, I don't know who doesn't like who just as a group. This is who? You got to know this stuff. Black respondents said mean ratings of whites.

Very very low. Mm, bitter. Well, that's starting at 60%. Right? Is that what we're, so it's actually. Oh, yeah, okay. So, okay, so nothing is like 20% or 10%. No, no, no.

60, 60 something percent and 80% was the Hispanic spread. 60% for whites. This is also like an honesty test, perhaps, too. Huh. Cause like, who's, you know, who, which race is gonna lie? You're saying white people are the biggest liars. I mean, that's what it could be. I don't know, bro.

It could be. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Uh, white people are like, oh, white people are doing this survey to show how racist we are. Who's gonna catch, gonna say,'s going to catch the most heat? Yeah. So, I don't know. You're right.

Yeah. White black response said mean rating of whites, 65% mean rating of blacks. Wow, 85% very, that's the highest rating. Yeah. All right. Mean rating of his spanics. Nobody really likes white people a whole lot. No one likes white people.

Only on the white people. Survey. Right. And they're barely ahead of everybody else. I mean, kind of almost insignificantly ahead. Yeah. Yeah. This is a good who's lying survey.

You're right. Pretty funny. No, I don't believe the white square at all. Mean ratings of his spandex by blacks, 70%, mean rating of Asians, what is that? 65, Asian respondents. Sure, Asians 80%. They're kind of, they're a little, I don't know, overall maybe more, no, they're, well, I don't know.

White people again, on the bottom. Yeah, 67.5% or so. Blacks and Hispanics are just slightly above them in Asians. But I mean, it sort of makes sense. Look, I mean, everybody is rating their own race the highest, aren't they? Even white people. Yeah. Look at that.

Yeah. Somebody's in there going, well, you? Even white people. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. Somebody's in there going, well, you know, white people, a little bit. I'm not going to be completely honest with you guys, but. But I mean, you know, you have the majority, majority of people in this country are white. And like, I would say the majority of people, I'd probably rate unfavorably. Oh, that's what your survey would look like. Probably. Did it.

Yeah, I mean, like, I'm not, yeah, I'm not like, I mean, a lot of you were fucking pains in the asses. I know a lot of pain in the ass, fucking white people and I deal with you a lot more. Oh, okay. I deal with you all the time. Breeds contempt. Yes, that's right. So if then when you got to the black survey part, you'd say, like, well, I don't really

have any interactions with the black people. Not as much as white people. So I mean, I'm favorable. I do. Actually, I mean, I probably, I probably have more interactions with black people than the average white person. Oh, really? And I'd say that entertainment.

Because of entertainment. Yeah. I've worked on black shows, predominantly black shows, or really like, I mean, really. Yeah, pretty much. Did they call you nicknames for you, based on your race? Yeah. What like what? Like yo.

Oh yeah. Turn it up. Yeah, I'm the yo turn it up guy. No, you know, whatever. They know my name like everybody else. Oh, you remember G prime, the guy that called in that artist that was doing the Biden pull the stuff in all the black. Yeah, yeah. Right after he called in, he got his one of his comics deleted. Yeah, because it was a line from Sesame Street describing race.

But it was like just the definition of race. Yeah. This is this and this and this and that's what's called race. But the last panel had Hitler smiling and saying the thing that the quote from Sesame Street, right, just saying it, yeah, they deleted from his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, yeah, you hate that's hate speech. You put Hitler on there.

You put Hitler on there clearly, clearly that's, you can't be having any fun, you can't be having any sort of fun with Hitler. He's not, it wasn't a fun guy. I mean, I've never, no one ever talks about his legendary sense of humor. You know, right. That's the only, you know, if he had just told a very dry joke once in a while, yeah, he should have told more, talked about women more.

That would have got. Yeah, history would be a lot more favorable to him. He's like, Hey, I'm by the way. Maybe like, dude, you, you did all kinds of like bad shit, but I mean, you really did the whole, you know, you should meet my mother. And I don't know. Well, it probably wasn't Churchill who said did the whole, you know, you should meet my mother. And I don't know. Well, go. It probably wasn't Churchill who said it, but, you know, the woman at the party who lambasted

him for being drunk, you know, that night. And it's unbecoming to him. Yeah, but, you know, I, you know, I, in the morning, I will be sober, but you will still be ugly. That's, you know, I don't, yeah, you'll still be fat. I don't know. Probably was not even him. But, let's see.

Here's what also makes me a rage. The, oh, you also be fat. I don't know. Probably was not even him. But, let's see. Here's what also makes me rage. Um, the, oh, the dominion lawsuit. Man, I was shocked to see so many people pro this thing. Dominion suing those idiots for billions of dollars. Yeah, I mean, I get the, I get the slander. I mean, or the libel or whatever you want to say. I mean, I fucking suppose. You know, but you've, I mean, you're supposed to, you're supposed to show proof of, you

know, against the government. My problem is like, well, they're doing government shit though. They're, they're cell machines to a lot of people. So if you say that like an army contractor is a baby killer, and then can you, then you're effectively being sued by the US army next? I don't really like the precedent of not encouraging lawsuits from billion dollar entities that control vital government functions when you're criticizing the execution of a vital government function. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Like where, let me see, what's a parallel? The military one's pretty good. Like, oh, you see, if you, you mean, like a, yeah, like a contractor, like a government contractor. Yeah, I'm trying to get a hold on this. Like, you say like, oh, there's a lot of abuse happening in this private prison,

and the prison, we're suing them. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're suing because they're bringing up shit that the government is making, that the government is subjecting people to. A private prison or no, or private. Yeah, private, like, but like for profit. Yeah. Does that be the same? Um, I don't know, I'm just shocked to see so many people, liberals especially.

I'm like, yeah, go fuck them. Fuck them. Of course. Well, and then what's, what's her, again, the one crazy QAnon fucking chick or whatever. Sydney Bowl. Yeah. Well, you'd have to be stupid to believe what I said anyway.

So it didn't hurt your business, you know? I don't, I wasn't good at. That's your defense. Your business is paying government representatives to use your software and and and pretending to have competitors that also use your software. I mean, at what point they sell stuff to the government, right? The government uses the, the minimum. Yeah. We're suing you for criticizing our core government function for billions of dollars.

So I'm trying to next time somebody wants to bring up anything like, when the, if this has been done on anything else, I'm kind of trying to search and. Imagine you're just some stupid, some student trying to show how the machines are fraudulent, right? You put up a YouTube video like here who's fucking things fraudulent right here. And you get slapped with a lot like some kind of DMCA or even a lawsuit over that. Just a, well, who are the, yeah, who are, who's named in the what Giuliani, what's her face?

Who else? No, all the fun, all the fun guys, all the funsters, all the pranksters of that particular era. Yeah, the prank, a bygone era. It's horrifying to many pranksters. I don't see where the difference between government and court system exists then. If pro entities controlling vital government functions can sue you for criticizing what the way they're doing it. And they're close and they're both close to our source. Are they saying,

are they saying that their part of like the manipulation of votes or are they? Because they're saying that they're saying basically like their shit doesn't work and it's like, it's busted. You're like infinitely corruptible. Fucking broken, yeah. Easily hacked. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and they're saying, and they're saying, you're hurting our business by saying that our shit is bad because we don't just sell to you.

You're hurting that fucking government, man. What are you talking about? Well, and then they say, show us. Well, that's where the Supreme Court said, no. I said, no, we're not gonna let, we're not gonna let you show us. We will let them sue you though. Okay. Well, so can the federal reserve, how high you say,

how high will it go? What? How high will this case go? I don't know. I mean, it could conceivably go to the Supreme Court. Sure. Yeah. Maybe they'll take, maybe they'll take a case finally.

Maybe. Can the federal reserve sue me? I don't know. It's a private entity. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's, they all worship MoLock and they exist to turn your, they exist to create an underground oil and produce debt. It's so crazy how they are like their own entities.

They're our own worshipers. Oh, we're suing you. How are you gonna fucking stop taking the stuff to people who print the money? Well, and that's kind of the thing. When it gets so fucking big, it's, they're just gonna, can't suit Twitter. We've ushered in an era of like kind of just everything in the open. Like, yeah, we're just, this is what we're gonna do. We're just gonna run you over.

So an half of people love it. It used to be, it used to be, well, that's, that's the answer for everything. Like down the fucking line, people who are pretty much thrilled about the lawsuit. Yeah. Oh, let me guys. Yeah. Oh, you, and you love the lawsuit. You can Oh, let me guys. Yeah. Oh, you and you love the lawsuit. You can't wait for people you don't know. But like policy and party.

It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't even fucking, it doesn't even matter anymore. Everything is just completely alive. I never thought, I never thought things would get so hyper politicized so quickly like in my lifetime. I mean, I just didn't, it wasn't something that I really thought about. Yeah.

It's been absolutely going that way for some time. And even before, you know, the rise of social media and stuff, but now it's just, it's kicked it into, I mean, it's crazy. It's like when the fucking turbocharger kicks in, all of a sudden, it's like, whoa. Got to pass that amendment, man. The first amendment, we'll just get more work. The original.

The original. It's very politicized. Okay, let me see what else I have here. I just want everybody to admit that that's their religion, that's their church, that's their version of Jesus, like that's just no, whatever, no, everybody, everybody. Oh, California teachers want free child care. Yeah. Ironic. California teachers unions are refusing to go back. Well, yeah, the teachers union in California is one of the strongest in the country.

Oh, man. California teachers are ready to go back to the classroom, but the state's largest union says, a new, free child care for their own kids. What a great system. Yeah. The government pays you, the government forces you to pay for the ability to send your children to other people, some of them pedophiles. Not me. And then by the numbers, there's got got to, you know, many of them pedophiles. I don't know about many, but I give you what would you say is many a pedophile? Let's use a let's use a term that was thrown around a lot, probably a non zero number. Zero number of pedophile. Zero number. Uh, more, more pedophiles they would be exposed to then without such as then without school.

Yeah, well, start there. Well, yeah, I mean, depends on, depends on, you know, how much they're around their, their uncles or whatever, you know, I mean, that was going to happen anyway. Yeah, we've just introduced more pet of ails. Right. Um, the only place where you, the only place where most people will get in a fight in their lives. Oh, it's cool. Fear of violence.

Yeah, right. School because that's what happens at you. Because it's prison, but living by prison rules that exist in a prison system. They're not watching all the time. Now, and then we take those people, the various teachers slash pedophiles. Running the school. Very good, man. And the government then makes you pay for their kids. Yeah, to get right.

To go to other pedophiles to be watched by them. Uh-huh. Wonderful. I hope they get it. Oh, God. Nothing would make me happier. No, I don't. For you child care for their own. Of course, they're gonna get it. Oh God. Nothing would make me happier. No, I don't.

For your child care for their own. Of course they're gonna get it. Yeah. No. That's bullshit. That's a fucking fraud up on the taxpayers of parents groups. Worried the child care ask could bubble up another district's poverty,

poverty, blah. They got something where they could bring their kids into class too. Really? Like service kids? Like you can come in this store, you got a service dog. I'm not a dog support dog. Whatever. Yeah, emotional support. Just time to the desk. So there you go. Time to the desk. Yeah. Good. It's got time to fight all this shit. You're at work.

I don't have any chops busted. It's actually needed death. You go home and your wife's like, oh, paying for somebody else's kids to send our kid to and pay for. They're asking for more money so they can send their kids to pedophiles while they watch our pedophile camp. Oh boy. I can tie it to the shit. Hmm. Oh, here's a nice one.

Here's a funny one. Okay. Came in this morning like that one. You like that one? Do you remember what I was saying? Stuff about masks and probably shouldn't be breathing through them all day? Cause it's like microplastics.

It's brand, well, this is graphene, right? The world is it's a world's thinnest element or whatever? And yeah, health, this is an issues advisor in over masks containing graphene. I just heard an advertisement on this. This is like a company who's like, ooh, let's do it. Because you know people are gonna strike

when it's like, ooh, graphene, high-tech shit, right? What do you mean? What do you mean? These like literally just came out like a week ago. The graphene ones? Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, for public. I don't know if they ever used them

in any other industry or something. Nobody had heard of a graphene mask up until a second to go. I didn't hear about it until now either. I've been breathing in graphene this whole time. Well, I don't think you're getting cancer, all kinds of cancer in my throat. Then graphene, they're probably very expensive. That's probably the one that I would have got. Yeah.

It conducted a preliminary scientific assessment after being made aware of. Yeah, I think it's the thinnest, I think graphene is what you can make the thinnest material that can be made. Oh, is that so? Something like that. Is it like the non-slick coating? Or is that Teflon?

No, that's, I mean, it's like, it's in the micro or nano level. It's like the thinnest material that can be made, I think. I think that's gold. You could have one atom thickness of gold. Oh, you can? Oh, it could be.

They play space shuttles of visors with it. Oh, really? Yeah, just some nerd stuff for you, Sean. You can one atom, one atom. I think you can pass it on. That's gold. That's gold. That's wild. And it's led practically led So I'll stop anything

Oh God this is some got some sad news for you here. Oh You know this is Here's a woman bragging about her She's undergone a sick Body mutilation here, breast reduction surgery. Yeah. I want you to watch this.

Oh, this hits close to home. I know. It hits close to home for me. This is not something that you, you don't really joke about this. No, no, no, no. It's all the few things that you won't, you know, take a stab at a joke.

Don't say stab. Why? This is something appropriate talking about. Oh, talking about the right. Yeah. Okay, look at a joke. Don't say stab. Why? Somebody stabs an appropriate talk. Oh, talking about the right. Yeah. Okay, look at that area. Look at this girl.

Look at this. I'm going to shut this off. I can't hear. I don't want to hear what she's singing about. She's trying on shirts before and after a breast reduction on TikTok. This is like a, this is worse than a snuff film for me that I'm gonna show you. Just watch before and after.

I don't know if I can watch. And in clothes, I think they're hotter and clothes than off, because you can only go downhill. You can fill in the blanks of what's happening under the surface there. Right. Better than God can. Here's a, here's a, here's a before shot. Yeah.

Look at, huh, mama Mia. Yeah. Oh, mama. Look at this. Look at those cans. Yeah. Bigger than her head. Those are huge.

She's stand too. Oh, very crappy little apartment, but whatever. I could move her out of that apartment so fast, that little apartment. And then here's the, here's the, oh, there's the after. Yeah. No, if you're happening to our society, well, this is if you saw it, but if you hadn't seen the before you'd probably be all right I would be like, well, that's all right. Yeah, but now the other one I'm like, but boom. Yeah Yeah

Oh Well, what are they do this? I don't know if you get to the future too, and Marty, Mr. Risen, like this is the future. Yeah, we're in the bad future. Try, try, try, some more tops here. Oh, mama, Mia, look at the, oh my God, come on.

Yeah, right. What a sick joke. All those, any doctors who perform this abomination should be thrown into a volcano, horrifying. It's horrifying that this is allowed to be done. Right over kill away and dropped. Do you want to see any more of this? I can't.

I can't even watch. Yeah, I know. No, I won't subject you to it. I won't subject you to it. Oh, what the fuck is, those are huge. And they're gone now. Yeah, gone. Never to return. Never to return.

Where are the marches? Where are the anti-abortion people? Now, they're so concerned about life. Why can't they fire bomb? I don't know. One of these clinics doing this or whatever they do. Yeah, I don't know what they do. Well, it happened.

I haven't been to a fire bombing lately. I haven't been to a fire bomb. We're over two. I mean, I feel like, you know, sometimes it's, it's like you used to go to a, you know, it's like, when was the last time you were at like a really good barbecue? I haven't been to a really good fire bombing lately.

Yeah. We should throw one. 9-11 really ruined terrorism. I get used to be a lot funnier. Well, yeah, it was a little more, you know, it was a little more local. Cheeky. Well, that's the thing, you know,

you had a lot of local, you know, I wish. And I wish. They had a long history. They did. They had done their research. They were probably getting the right people or whatever. I mean, you know. You know.

Yeah. But then, you know. 9-11. You got to open. That's not funny anymore. You got to open it up to everyone. Yeah. And they really did.

Yeah. You should have been gatekeeping terrorism more. So we could still have some. Yeah. A little bit. A little bit important. Keeps you on your toes. Yeah, it does. It keeps you kind of walking a line.

I don't know. You got to give the cops a cup check. Now, yeah, just to be sure. Like, oh, yeah. I got you. I got you, officer. Here's something for the vaccine passports. We talked about those a little bit

on the bonus episode. What did you think about my fat, not fat, fat passport? Yeah, it was good. That was a good one. Yeah, that was another one I liked. Yeah, here's vaccine passports are a good idea. Let me read this one. Among other things, who's this guy, like just some dude and fucking jackass.

Some five that's that should be that should be what everybody says like just you know whoever he said I don't know is it the next door neighbor or is it somebody important. Former fucking US attorney. He's a US attorney. Do you know what? Okay. I don't even know what country. These people think they're living in or want to live in it's the It's the federal parks They're the ones who yeah ruined it these people are the ones who ruined it when you have next door a nice 600 acres of private land that you can pay a hundred bucks and port of potty turn into Lord of the flies I wish there's nothing we want yeah, they had Wi-Fi

Did the national parks don't have fucking Wi-Fi. I don't think so. We're supposed to be looking at nature. I can do both. I don't know, man. I can do, but people say that, but I mean, really. I can. People can.

I know if you can appreciate a square. I took a multi-tasker. I can appreciate many different things at the same time. Yeah. LA time. I went whale watching one time. Saw a blue whale about as close to a boat as like, you know, the guy's, it's ever come, like literally,

like right across the bow. Really? And I've got my fucking phone out. Like you can capture like a, you know, like a, like a fucking, you know, 90 foot. And I, I started doing it and I like, and I put it down, I go, what the fuck am I doing? Fuck am I doing?

Like, I'll never see this again, you know? Like, what am I doing? Let me just look at this fucking thing. Yeah, let me just, stupid. What are you gonna do do show somebody? Like, it's, I realized like the idiocy of like taking a picture of the Grand Canyon. Like, stop it. You got to realize you're an idiot right then. Just fucking look at it. Just look at it. Yeah, you don't need to capture. No, just go home and type in like picture of whale. Yeah. Yeah, and there's a million of them

better than what you did on your fucking iPhone. Yeah. Nobody cares that you were there. No, former US attorney. Yeah, DOJ official. Vaccine passports are a good idea. Oh, is that so. Among other things, it will single out

the still large contention of people who refuse vaccines, who will be foreclosed from doing a lot of things their peers can do. That should help break the resistance down. Yeah, I don't like, just show up at my house and give it to me. Like why, why, this just extra steps? break the resistance down. Yeah, I don't like, just show up at my house and give it to me.

Like why, why, this just extra stabs. Yeah, no, I don't like a, I don't like wielding a hammer to like convince people that it's a good idea. Well, you don't wanna get, Vex, oh yeah, that's a, that should be real, you like those friends, huh?

I'd be real shame if you couldn't do anything with those friends. Yeah, I know this is like the right, this is like this dude's opinion, but you know, I don't know. That's not like it. But it's so it's odd where I don't, I don't like it. Usually, usually these kind of authoritarian people will hide what they're saying. Like, well, what we want to do is encourage the property. Never will they come out and say flat out. We're ransoming your friends to you. No, I know. Through regulations and control.

So you have to take the experimental drugs or else you're just not gonna be able to see, you're not gonna be able to socialize. Like the most important thing. And it's gonna be, you know, there's gonna be a lot of things that are like, well, we're only allowing vaccinated people in here. And there's gonna be, you know,

I don't know if it's going to be some, it's going to be public, some of it's going to be private. Yeah. I don't know. It'll be interesting to see how that plays out. But yeah, I don't, I don't like that. No, no. Oh, I had one of flu thing too.

The flu numbers last year. I'm sure they're very, very low. How low do you think? Well, very low, I would think. Why would you think that? Uh, because a lot of people took the flu vaccine. It was a fairly effective flu vaccine and the same things, like social distancing, handwashing

and such will also avoid giving you the flu. You think, yeah. Which is less contagious than COVID has been. I think this is a big drop off though. It doesn't surprise me. Really? That's a big drop. When people, when people,

with people not going to work and stuff. Global circulation of the flu viruses. I don't know. Don't that. It's not, I mean, it doesn't surprise you. Not really. 40.

Not really. 30, 30, 60, 60, it doesn't surprise you. Not really. 40, not really. 30, 30, 60, 60, 60 this year. Zippo. Well, what is it? 500 or so. This is the, do you see there's like a nut here? Where's your, what are the numbers on the left? Oh, oh, just.

No, I mean, pull us there. No, 20,000. 20,000. Yeah, I don't know. So what is that like, is that like 1500, there. No, 20,000. 20,000. Yeah, I don't know. So what is that like, is that like like 1500, 2000, something like that? Yeah. From down from 60,000. Seems a little sus to me.

Well, maybe they're not getting counted correctly. Well, that's the, so that's the, yeah, 2021. Yeah, I mean, a little suspicious, Salowicious for my taste, it's not as suspicious like to me as it is to you. Well, if they, if you hand it as a extra turn to the IRS, this data, yeah, they would come to your house. Well, and you have to prove that's right. Yeah. That's right. Okay. Yeah. I'll wait on the proof on this one.

I guess. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it's somebody get the top. A lot of the things, like I said, I do know that more people were vaccinated for the flu. Yeah. Because if you do have, say you get vaccinated for the flu and you do have symptoms, then you're like, oh, it might be COVID. Should I isolate? Should I do whatever? Nobody was at work.

And, you know, again, which is a good idea anyway. People are in hands, I'm washing and stuff like that. I know so many people. I mean, the teachers unions have it right. If people aren't, if people don't get a four day work week out of this, and I mean, everybody, then we deserve living in hell. There's just, there's no reason to work five days. No, I wanted to, I wanted to... I wanted a four day work week forever, forever. Forever. Because it... Yeah, well, it's no fucking point. Somebody's trying it.

I wrote it down. Let me see. Maybe that's the white boy, white boy summer. Four day work week. I don't know. Somebody's trying it out. Spain. Yeah.

Spurred by lockdown, Spain gives four-day week a try. I hope it goes well. We should be on two days now. Yeah, honestly. After waiting, after years of waiting tables, blah, blah, blah, somebody, four-day work week, it doesn't say how it's going so far. No.

Well, when do they do it? Reducing work hours from 40 to 35 per week would have resulted in a 1.5% GDP growth and 560,000 new jobs, a study published. Oh, because you'd have to hire new people. That's good. That's better than just giving them free money, I guess. Well, you're there doing something right for it. Okay, let me see what else I have here. Did I tell anybody in Discord that could call in today? Oh.

Oh, Tulpa bra. Oh God, okay. Who's that? Tulpa bra, it's the guy that has the imaginary girlfriend. Oh, he's had it. Yeah. All right, Tulpa bra, are you in here? Yes, please. Are yeah, all right. Tell Pobrari you in here. Yes, please

Are you there? Tell Pobrari what's up, man Hello, you can show on once more. Hello. Hi. How are you doing? How's your imaginary girlfriend doing? That's rude She's been good. My name is no like Rumi now. Her name is white for her. Rumi, Rumi, am I RUM? I don't call her Alexa anymore. That's kind of like her old name. Oh, okay. How's your all the appliances? How could you tell when she was responding, right? If it's my imaginary imagination or the Alexa. So how's your relationship going? I remember last time we talked,

we were talking to a real life woman who also had to tell a fake Korean topa girl. Yeah. I mean, the last time we talked to her was like on Facebook Messenger, back in March. Yeah. Hasn't been on your since then. Oh, I think we met up at least one time this year

and that's about it, like in real life. That's it. Yeah, are you gonna bang her? She kind of just like pops in and out of existence. Am I gonna bang her? Yeah. As much as I'd like to, this probably not. She's like more like a friend, I guess.

Mm. Is that your choice or hers? Of course. Uh, I really don't know at this point. It's just kind of a weird thing. It is kind of a weird thing. Uh, did you get, did you try any medicine since the last time we talked?

Uh, nope, unless like a monster and a G-Trant Consul's a medicine. Nope. Mm. Okay, so what's up? What have you been doing with your Tulpa since the last time we spoke? like a monster energy drink, conscious medicine. Nope. Okay, so what's up? What have you been doing with your Tulpa since the last time we spoke? Just like daily life stuff. If I had a Netflix anime adaptation, it would be called my daily life with Rumi. And what kind of stuff do you guys do? I just like talk to her about my day. Yeah,

some ludes stuff, some ludes stuff. Oh, there's a lot of ludes stuff going on. We do it like every morning. You do it every morning. We talk. Yeah. In your head. Yes. In my head. Yeah, in your head. Yes, in my head. Yeah. Okay. Well, you said your friend was going to call in, didn't you? Oh, my friend. No, yeah.

He's like a walking, like, drug knowledge in psychopaedia, dude. Like you can ask him about literally any drug you can think of and he'll give you information about it. Like what? Like a Google. any drug you can think of and you'll give you information about it. Like what? Like a Google. You're talking about this thing called the Benzidrix. You can derive it from like some sort of inhaler.

Yeah. There's like a whole like chemistry class process to get that. Okay. Um, well, I forget why I asked you to call in about your talk, but this week, sorry. Um, well, there was some things like people commented about, like I missed out like how I forget why I asked you to call in about your topla this week. Sorry. Well, there was some things like people commented about, like I missed out on how to create one. Okay. And other stuff.

How do you create one? How do you create a topla? I want to create one of this event check that I just played the video with the huge tits, but before, like a freezer and time. Right. I can't believe that. What kind of doctor? What kind believe that. What kind of doctor?

What kind of man? What kind of butcher? What kind of butcher does? Monster. I don't know, just no regard for humanity. Right. No respect for God. No.

At all. It's horrifying. Okay. Go ahead, Tulpa, bro. What are we going to say? Well, so the main thing is that there's like tons of guides out there by now because like topos are really old subject like I said in my last time I appeared here since 2012 so many people have written guides since then. Okay, if you want you can just google like

top of guides and you can find whatever you want. Well, there's this one guide in particular that I like that I used. Okay, I saw a Google Docs. I'll just like throw the link on the discord, I guess. Can you summarize it? Uh, I can summarize it. Now let's see. Well, for me, it's like uh, making a topless, a very personalized process. So what works in one guide won't necessarily work for yourself. You kind of just like pick and choose from different guides. What works best for you? Okay, well, for me, I'm like a really fucking lazy ass person, so I don't like to put in work of like sitting down one hour and thinking just making a tolpa that way. Okay. So for me, what worked is like just a very heavy belief

and desire of wanting a tolpa. And she just kind of came about over time. That's why it took like eight years since 2012 where to pop into existence Well, that does sound actually like a lot of words. It sounds like a lot of words sounds like you did Yeah, well doesn't sound so lazy. I mean not not a lot of work just like being lazy and like basically like a weekend Project birthday and like every Christmas my wish was to just have a total girlfriend was to just have a topa girlfriend. Oh, no. Really? I think I just happened.

So every birthday and every Christmas, your wish was to have a topa girlfriend. Yeah, basically, or at least a girlfriend, like Pinocchio. I can always wish to be a real. Yeah, I'm open to the little catapult set him on fire. You got a stiffer mind of what it was like to be made out of pine. But not a real girlfriend. You wish it at all, but I mean, you're really any sort of girlfriend, even a real girlfriend, but I guess I did get a girlfriend just not in the way that I know.

No, if you could actually, if you could do it, wouldn't you go in that order to imaginary girlfriend? Oh God. If the, if the COVID vaccine costs his a friend, he has a rent. He has them ranked properly, right? Yes. You're correct. I mean, you're going to know God bless you. If I could be gay or have an imaginary girlfriend, I would do it in a second. So don't, don't let anybody talk you out of it. It seems less complicated than interacting with real girls, in my opinion. Anything is less complicated than interacting with real girls. Yes, that's true. Is there ever a time when you've had enough of her? What's the longest you've gone without talking to her? Well, since she completely and totally understands me and loves me no matter what, I didn't ever feel that way.

Although in the beginning, she did get jealous of me jerking off to Hentai and porn. And she kind of orgasmed in me one time. And that was about the extent of how she got mad at me. I just told her to stop and she stopped doing that. So you say that again. You do fight. She is a little jealous and you fight occasionally or you're getting some denials you. Yeah. Yeah, like she completely stopped me from being able to get off.

How? Mind fuck. Yeah, mind fuckery. Like, what do you mean? Definitely real. Yeah, that's true. That's real. It's hard to describe, but like using like jealousy or as a feeling or whatever, but. I just told her, like, just stop doing that and she stopped. So you couldn't beat off where she would like, trick you into beating off and then you couldn't come? Or why? I could beat off, but I couldn't, yeah, I couldn't come. She would stop you.

Right. In your mind. Yes. And then you just go like, ah, fuck I fuck and then go I have a sandwich or something No, you just kind of like assert your dominance until your top of the stop doing that and they will they should stop doing that What if they don't what if they don't yeah If they don't then you might have a problem. Oh, I mean might Yeah, what what you look like. Yeah,

what does he look like? Oh, and would you ever have like an artist draw her? Yeah, do you have drawings ever? Yeah. I use a reference material. Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure. By the name of the jammy. Okay, what? You switch for, uh for if you switch for echo by ejammy ekk. Oh

And then the other name is a EJ a mi am I echo By like a semi black hair ball girl with like a cat girl With that's what she looks like. The knee. Yeah. Oh, I think we saw her last time. No, you're thinking of a different guy. Okay.

Another guy who had an anime, girl friend. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Two things. Two things that you could get confused about in this show are pretend anime, catgirl, girlfriends. I don't want to be that guy who can't tell anime girlfriends apart.

And fat guys. Yes, white guys get that level that I'm sometimes, you know. I can't tell us apart, huh? Like we all look the same. Sorry. Don't hate Asian. I hate Asian. I hate Asian.

Things you could try for a creating one is just make a list of personality traits you want her to have. Tids. Like make a topa diary log or like a progress log. Yeah, fine reference material, like anime artwork or photos or just talking to them, like narrating your day to them, not expecting them to respond.

Just like kind of like talking to yourself, but you're like directing your conversation at the topa. Someone's just want to vent. In general, just like feed them attention. I talk to myself all day, and now that 80s girls gone back to work, it's like, I feel alive again. A year of being in the same house with her without being able to talk to myself was very stifling for me and my personal growth.

I am, I feel very lucky to have been able to go back was very stifling for me and my personal growth. I am, I feel very lucky to have been able to go back to work quickly. Yeah. You know, in comparison to a lot of people, like I realized that as much as I like being home and like not, you know, not going out and doing a bunch of social, you know,

really crowded social shit and all that kind of stuff, sometimes I do, but I need to leave the house. I just do. I have to be in a different area. Yeah. And then come home and I go away from all this shit. Then the house is like what I want it to be. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Tell the brow. Does anything make you a rage? Backstab. Oh, it makes me a rage. No, really, I'm just generally pretty calm these days. So I would say nothing makes me a rage. Yeah. Just enjoy your like she lets them come now. So that's, I mean, yes.

Do you where you getting nice? How long did this happen? Like was, were you getting really frustrated? Like, how long did she deny you for? Was it like a week to teach you a lesson? Or How long did she deny you for? Was it like a week to teach you a lesson? Or just like one day. I told myself that she didn't do it. Oh, you got her right back in line. Good for you. Do you have to give her a smack?

Oh, not really a smack, just mental. Just a firm, a stop doing that. A firm, a stop doing that. Right. Oh, what if it works for you? Yeah, well. All right, tell Pobra. Go, go meet a nice girl.

Do me favor, go ask that girl to a coffee or something. I probably should. There's no excuse I can't get a real life girl from this point. Well, what is, what would she say? Do you think if you were talking to a real woman? Or I mean, a woman, you know, outside of your current relationship?

Would you be jealous again? The first time I've heard she supports my happiness, so she wouldn't get jealous about that. Oh, she would want me to go to a girlfriend. Yeah, she would want me to get a girlfriend so she can use my experience with a real-life girlfriend to be a better girlfriend in my mind. Ah, you're so f**king have two girlfriends. Good luck. Talk about that's the end of your time. I'm like, ah, you're so fucking have two girlfriends. Good luck. Talk about that's the end of your time.

No, let's see, I'm already. All right, tell Pabra, go have lunch with that girl. Will you? Try to. All right, try to, try to fuck her. Keep your relationships separate. Touch your hand, give her a little hand touch. They like that. Right over here. A little a little hand touch. They like that

Right over here. We're a little bit of hand holding not holding this little bit of like. Oh, hey, hey, you do Mm-hmm. Just wanted to a little bit. Yeah, I'm a little bit of like tap it tap tap it tap on Tap to Roo. That's how I do it. All right. Get out of here. Goodbye. All right. See you Oh my god. Okay. Who else? Amazing. That's so fucking amazing. I could talk to him all day. I know. I really could.

You imagine that you're just beating off and then you're like a woman in your head saying, that's it, you gotta stop. You stop and have a conversation with her. I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even feel bad making all these people wait while I sat here and thought of questions. I can't, we can bring him back anytime.

I don't know who else that I said to call in. Johnson Brown. Johnson by C-gators in there. What's up, Kate? Oh, yeah. Oh, can't tell, I know Cantillians that are problem too. Really? Yeah.

We haven't talked to him in a while. He wanted some advice on a woman. Let's do it. What kind of other advice do I have here? You know what, I'm just sitting such a good mood because I backed up that trailer. Oh, you feel like a man when you... Oh my God. Yeah.

Sean. Yeah. Mm hmm. Sean. Yeah. I was so boxed in on this ring of cars we had. And I had to detach my truck. I wasn't going to have the trailer. 17 feet, not so small one. No, but still, I mean, it's, you know, you've, you've been to the lake with me enough times to watch jackass is not be able to back a 17 foot boat down a fucking ramp with, you know, stupid amounts of room on either side. It's a great and get the fucking trailer in the water just, you know, the same on both sides. You should be not that hard, but apparently it gets. There should be some kind of a driver's license test that is backing up a trailer into a spot without fucking up more than one time.

You get one straight now. I just saw many people who would never pass that. And that would be, you could just go in, slap your license down at a bar and it would be gold. The entire license would be gold and then we'd be like, oh shit, you can back up trailers? Yeah. What does it say? Everybody fuck color is that. treat this guy with respect.

Exactly. I'm going to kill you with this gold card. If you don't, you want to take it outside? Oh, I don't think so. Have you seen my trailer backing up? I know how you park. You fucking punk. You would turn it the wrong way.

Yeah. Cause you're, cause you don't have the impulsivity control that I do. Yeah. This is what separates me. Or just the, for you, understanding of geometry. Understanding of physics. And advanced trigonometry.

Yeah. When I go, I think left, and then I delay that gratification of that impulse, and I steer the wheel right, and I anticipate where the trailer is and then begin correcting and ease it in. That's the key, it's when to un-fucking, when to unwind it.

People fuck that up all the time. They fuck it up, parallel parking. They, yeah, it's, yeah. Parallel parking, you could look out on. Oh yeah, sure you can. Women could get that right. They have all kinds of weird methods in their head. They stand out of the car and look, but you know,

they'll parallel park with the door open. Yeah, and then they'll stand up for some reason like a fucking like a mere cat. What? But you can't guess your way into backing up a trailer. No, you can't into backing up a trailer. No. You can't accidentally back up a trailer. Yeah, because it's gonna get off and you have to, it's gonna get off by itself.

Yeah. And you've got to notice that. Even straightening that out. And make that minor correction like right away. Right away. Right away. And you need to make it minor correction like right away, right away, right away. And you need to make it correct the correct way. The first time because it's it's a snowball type thing.

Yeah. It can really it can really fucking run you over if you're not like Jesus says. It's easier to find a rich, a rich man in heaven than then to backup a trailer. Yeah, correctly. Right. You heard that quote. Well, I have. You have heard that quote.

I mean, I've heard it translated a couple of different ways, but it's always, it's something it's close to that. And I think that I think the meaning is clear. Now, I just want to backup trailers all day. Also something about fishing. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I would like a trailer backup simulator. I would play that's all day. Also something about fishing. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would like a trailer backup simulator.

I would play that game all day. Here we go. Daniel Zipada says, Catholic priests, I know you probably don't care. Oh, yeah. That's your so smart and figured out that religion is all a scam. Well, come on. But hearing you talk about Catholic priests in the last episode, maybe one with right in any way. First, firstly, only Roman right priests are required to be

celibate in the Catholic church. There are other rights like the Byzantines who do not require celibacy from their priests, though the Roman right is the majority of the church. Second, it's not a moral imperative for priests to be celibate. It's a prudential judgment of the leaders of the church that it's better for priests to be celibate. So as a rule, they instituted it in force. They made this rule because celibacy is a sign of this new life to the service of the church.

Basically, the church leaders decided they wanted priests who could focus on their church, duties without the distractions of a wife and kids. This is a different letter than I thought. Um, I'll read the other one. Then. The other one, I didn't check on the other one, but it fucking makes a lot of sense just on the surface.

Let me see. About the inheritance thing. Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm Japan Devon Tuzas. Hey, Dick and Tron, I was listening to the last episode and you both talked about the inheritance thing? Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm Japan Devons uses, hey, Dickenshaw, and I was listening to the last episode, and you both talked about the celibacy among priests in the Catholic Church. One of the biggest reasons the Catholic Church forced priests to be celibate was inheritance. Priests and bishops would get land and money from parishioner donations, and once they died, the fortunes would be inherited

by the priests or bishops' children. If the priests didn't have any kids, then the church becomes the inheritor instead. I linked an article below that explains this concept of more detail. Go fuck yourself, Steve. I didn't even, I haven't even had any to thought of that.

I hadn't even clicked on the article or anything. Of course that's why. It's, it makes perfect sense. Yeah. Oh, you mean it was about money? Oh, really? Well, we, you know, the entire fucking scam is built on, built in money for people and retaining it within the one organization for eternity.

What a fucking surprise. Yeah. It's like the, you know, the, the, I was What a fucking surprise. Yeah. It's like the, you know, the, I was watching a thing on, you know, that's, you've always heard, oh, the Catholic church is the biggest landowner, like in the world, you know? Yeah, because they can't have kids.

And then it's that. And then it's been the fucking crown of the, the royal family. Oh, yeah. Yeah, has, has competed there. But it's like, yeah, I mean, they own fucking, they own, they own,, yeah, I mean, they own fucking. They all can't have McDonald's in this land because they own God's land.

That's outrageous. I mean, I never want to hear any moral argument from any Catholic talking about abortion when they have systematically eugenicized their best people from breeding over money. I do not ever want to hear ever. That was something that never came into my mind this reason. All right. Do you wing the one that the guy's saying that it's about inheritance? Yeah, well, you do.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I never even thought about it. Like what is the moral distinction between preventing, preventing life from within your own ranks versus a some fucking dirt poor slob ending it to preserve themselves. What is the actual difference? What is the actual predeterministic difference between those things? Not. That's amazing.

Thank you for, thank you for writing in Japan, Devon. Let's see what else I got. Got a rage for writing in Japan, Devon. Let's see what else I got. Got a rage for you. Hey, Dick. Got a rage for you since we got the kids, we bought a bunch of thermometers, because the girlfriend always keeps losing them. Also a bunch of those thermometers

were to take the temperature of the kids up their ass. Huh, what does the girlfriend do when she's not losing them, you ask? She just put them all together. Oh, no. That you don't even know anymore. What goes in your mouth, bud? What goes in your mouth, bud?

Yeah. Women are disgusting. That's terrible. They don't even care. That's the, you know, maybe like I used one hand to wipe my ass and I don't eat with that hand. I only eat sandwiches with my left hand. Yeah, you're like a for that reason.

Yeah, like somebody in the Middle East. Yeah, yeah. Never will this hand touch any food. I wash it. Yeah, yeah, sure. Of course, right. But still, but women will eat out of asshole, they'll do anything.

They don't care. Shameful. Thank you, Nicholas. Shameful. Oh, see what I get here. It's funny, isn't it, that one guy wrote in about how priests are like supposed to dedicate their lives to God? And that's why they don't want to.

Well, we didn't finish that. I mean, read it again. Well, I mean, it just seems like I thought that it was going to be the second letter that you wrote, because I saw that. That was to both of us. Me too. But I guess these are two sides of the issue. Third, you and many others insinuate that celibacy is connected to the various sexual scandals

involving priests, which happen at about the same rate as that of any other large organization that work with children. I strongly disagree with this insinuation for these reasons. No one is required to be a priest. If you want to get laid, don't be a priest. Well, I mean- There may be some external pressure of long, standard, very religious families. My boy is going to be a priest.

You know what I mean? That exists. So he's kind of- He's might, you know what I mean? That exists. So he's kind of, he's a lot of attention. He's overlooking that family pressure. And it is a real drug and a lot of men. No. As steam and respect is powerful as any other drug. And they can't break away from it. No, it takes a very long time to become a priest eight years usually, which is quite a long time to see if you can handle celibacy before being committed to it. That's true. If celibacy were so burdensome, people would fail to make it through the introductory period,

which is also when you are younger and more horny. Yeah, it seems like a freak filter. Well, like if I wanted to get a bunch of freaks in the same spot, I would say eight years of celibacy is a good test to weed out any normal person. Right, it's not gonna, right, and it's gonna be an extreme case. But, I mean, you know, you're brought up a certain way. Don't think that-

Get an extremist, you don't all of a sudden start thinking normally and in a healthy way, all of a sudden when you turn 18, that doesn't happen. So all this like guilt and shit, that's a powerful fucking thing that'll follow you, your entire life if you don't understand it. So it's like you, he's kind of negating my twenties. I'll just reverse it.

No big deal. I'll just change my mind. You know, if you like that so much, let's just make cops do it. Let's only have cops who are completely celibate. Does that sound like something you would want to do? New rule. Cops have to be celibate their entire lives. And I don't know what the percentage is obviously because you can get of, you know, he's saying that it's similar to other large organizations.

Oh, I'm sure it's, it's, I don't know, because we know, you know, something that gets publicized, big scandals, it seems like, oh, fuck, it's everywhere. But yeah, it's more of a mindset thing. 81% of the victims of abuse between 1950 and 2002 were male. And the, well, no shit, like, like, He's cases is a bell curve centered around the year 1975, dropping by 90% before 1955 and that's probably because they didn't report it.

These two facts imply that the problems with a specific generation of homosexual priests. Oh, it's the gays. Once again, fucking gays did it with a specific generation of homosexual priests, but there's the whole thing like, you know, church will fix you. Uh, yeah, yeah, good point. Yeah. Not with the longstanding tradition of celibacy. If it were celibacy specifically, that were the problem.

Rates of abuse should be relatively stable and skew more female, right? No. Well, who are you? No, because men are abusive, men are sexual predators, not all, not all, but more than often it will be men just because of that's the way it is. Women could just go eat. Men can't eat away a heart on. Women could eat away a broken heart and they do.

Okay, let me see what else I got here. Who did I tell the call in Johnson Brown? Did I tell you to call in Johnson Brown? What about Kentillians? Let me see if either of those guys want to call in. Yeah, I and Kentillians, okay. We could Kentillians in. Yeah, I am Cantillians, okay. We're good Cantillians in.

Both of you. Cantillians, what's going on? So there you go. Hey, what's up? Yeah. What can I do for you? Happy, happy Jesus day, everybody. Happy Jesus day, son.

Happy Jesus day. Hey, are you gonna do the weight loss contest? If fat.dick.dick.show, why is he fat? the weight loss contest at fat.dick.show? Fat.dick.show? Why is he fat? Yeah, can't tell he's as fat as fuck. Really? He looks great.

I lost 20 pounds already, so I'm going to lose another 20. You could lose 20 more. I mean, you lose one pounds together. All right. What can I help you with? All right. So I know you have a lot of younger listeners in the audience, but I know there's also some of us guys who are a little bit older. I just turned 33 and I'm trying to figure

out how to navigate the dating scene at this latent life. The main reason I wanted to call in is because I was actually talking to a girl much younger, she was 25. That's how? Just got it out. Four year, but four year long relationship, she said, I just want to take it slow. So the question I have, as soon as a girl says, I want to take it slow. Is that just the red flag of just fucking end it right there, just ban your maybe and then that's it.

No, what do you think? Well, what do you want? Any, any chick who says anything is the opposite, they always say the opposite. They're saying out loud something that they want you to be in control of because they control nothing about themselves. Anytime a chick says anything, oh, I don't, I don't want to get too hammered tonight. Start unloading drugs and see if you can unload them faster than she can consume them. Then all they do, the first thing they will say is the responsibility that they want

to absolve themselves of input on you, which means I am down to fuck. I want, I want your cock right now. That's taking it slow. How long have you been seeing her? I was only, it was only about a month. And now she won't talk to me because I got drunk one night and drove her home and she realized how flugging plastered I was only about a month and now she won't talk to me because I got drunk one night and drove her home and she realized how flugging plastered I was. And now she's like, I think we need to take a couple days break.

I think I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm getting too attached to you. So pretty much means I'm fucked there. So it's onto the next one. Well, yeah. Okay, the liquor guy you went in, so you probably get you out. Well, yeah. Licker got you in. If Licker got you into this mask, it could probably get you out. That's a good point.

And then final last question, I'll make it quick. In my 30s, so I should still only be going for younger girls, I should be going for rich older women. Rich older women. Do you know a lot of rich older women? I live in Orange County, of course. Yeah. You want to be in like, yeah, he's right. Like a Cheeto-faced, old broad with white pants and a little dog and stuff or some Cougar

juice. I'm pretty in that way. I'm probably not going. Do you think you're a jiggleo? Is that what you, is that how you see yourself? I don't think I am. I don't see myself as anything. I just see as a man who needs to get laid again.

It's been a week. I need to get back out there, Dick. I should be using this Easter Sunday to be finding the holiest of bitches and in schoolgirl outfits and railing them. That's what I should be doing. Schoolgirl outfits. Where did that come from? I don't know. I don't know. The Catholic, the in schoolgirl outfits and railing them. That's what I should be doing. Schoolgirl outfits, where did that come from? I don't know. The Catholic schoolgirl.

Oh, I see. It's a holy day. I don't. I think you have too much, I think you're too fat to bang a rich on. No, God. I do. All right. Now I'm definitely doing the contest now. You should. You're, you're, you're a good looking guy when you're skinny skinny. Err. Thanks man.

Skinnier. I think the chance to hide though, I can be two eight. I can be 180. I can get to 180. So that's why I'm going to do what? What's the chat saying? Well, there are a couple of people are saying it's like, yeah, Cougars go for guys in their 20s.

And that's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. in their 20s. And that's, yeah, you're 33 as not that old, but it's, it's true. Like you wouldn't be, you wouldn't be first choice for a Cougar, not a real Cougar. You're nobody's first choice. Can't tell you ins. I'm not either. I'm just saying, I'm just saying that we

have to live with this reality. So we don't get to choose anything. You have to live with reality when you get this old. But you can,'s not the oldness, but it's the you you can totally date 20 something. Yeah, it's you can take No problem Keep it up. All right, well there you go. You gave you help me out. I'm gonna go find some Bar skinks. There you go. That's the easiest way to go. Oh, well. There you go. Go now. Get it my off night. How's Chris the Kiwi talk to him ever? I have not talked him at all. It is the biggest, biggest pisser of my entire life.

Yeah. But, he'll always be the one that got away. What are we going to do? You can't even get him locked down. What are you going to do? You think these orange county housewives, millionaire housewives are easier to deal with than Chris the Kiwi? Um, that's a good point. Probably not. Yeah, probably not. Just as crazy as him.

Absolutely. Yeah, he mean he's good practice. Tell them, yeah, tell them the right thing. You know, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm the death. Yeah. Yeah. I've got this other thing in here. It's changed sports watching because of social justice. Can't tell you see watch sports? I do watch sports.

I watched to be the final four yesterday. So you have have you changed your sports watching because of social justice commentaries? Are you okay? When it first started, like when the first kneeling thing did, I was kind of like turned off the NFL, but it seems like it's all kind of calmed down a bit. So not really, I just like, there's nothing better than getting drunk on a Sunday and watching football. That's what the best is there. About 11% of people said they now watch more as a result of political and social messaging. Oh, really?

Yeah, right. I'm in fucking up. I'm fucking up to survey data. Who is watching more sports? Sports is very hard to get through. But sports and music are two things where I've never had a problem separating like the person and the personal beliefs.

From like, I can the motherfucker catch a ball. I don't give a shit. Like, my best point is still a good movie. I don't care how many of his children Woody Allen raped is still good. I don't care. So many people don't like match point. It's a great movie. That's a great Woody Allen movie. Great movie. Anyway, 11% said they now watch more as a result of political and

social messaging. However, 30 hard to believe. I don't believe it at all. That would swastle. Oh, now I like sports. I think you either kind of, you kind of do or get into it or not. Or you're just like, that's, you, you have that competitive nature. You want to see, it's just that it's not, that's not a reason. I don't think that's a reason why people, all of a sudden, I watch more pornography because of the social messaging. Like, oh, I said, thing got really into pornography. I know, because they're really about black lives, about, oh, I'll check out some of this

pornography that's always being talked about. I really got into pornography. I know, because they're really about black lives, but oh, I'll check out some of this pornography that's always being talked about. I do think it's on a lower gut level why you like it or not. However, 30, go ahead. I'm thinking it's more the polling biases that you're seeing with a lot of these like more woke crowd or even people who aren't woke. They'll tell post pollsters that, oh, yeah, of course. Of course I watch it more because they don't want to I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. always been that, but they're always has skins. Well, no, check it out. Washington football. There are, it has been done for decades, like first black player in, you know, the modern, you know, in, you know, the modern major leagues, Jackie Robinson, right? Yeah. Forget about the, because the Dodgers, the Dodgers. Yeah. So they're, you know, all of a sudden, if you're, you're a black guy and you like baseball, chances are that's going to be the team you root for.

But I don't know if that, if that necessarily holds true, you know, now that was talking about like a specific group and a certain incident or a certain, you know, point in the history of a game. Did you see that the, that WNBA games are back back to max capacity? And yet, I'm not sure you're still at 10%. I think they're going to be higher, aren't they? What? I thought they were going to be like 15 or close to 20. But then the, and then maybe going up, but WNBA, it's, but nobody goes to those games. I know. That's the joke. Oh, is it? We're still seating 2,000 people per game. They're back at Max. However, 35%. I think there was like one, there was like a couple, a couple of quarters in like

that NC, like double A, you know, the women's tournament were like a total of like eight points were scored in a quarter. It's like, did you see when they're who's watching this? It's got, it's the parents, right? Yeah, it's the parents. Yeah. And Lesby and put it on in the background during their work, their, their book clubs, WNBA. I don't want to see two team score combined eight points and a quarter of basketball. I just don't, don't make me pretend to like this. Yeah, come on. Did you see the WNBA weight room thing? The March Madness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The one rack. Yeah. That was funny. Okay. 35% more than one third, so they're watching less. The vast majority of the law. It's turning off. 56% said they watch about the same amount regardless of political stuff.

Yep. Yep. Huh. 35% that's a lot. It is a lot. That's a lot. It turns them, it turns them off. Well, because we know, well, yeah, we're aware of what the social messaging is. So it seems to turn a lot of people off.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, some people get wrapped up and especially in this heightened society, everybody's kind of on edge. So it's like, I get enough of this shit from my news feed and my Facebook call to it. I don't want to fucking see this ceremony before this NBA game or before this MLB game. So you know, I'm turning up like me, I really don't care. I know.

But perhaps I'm probably in the worst example of the white race. I'm in the 56% I guess. Whatever. Okay, what about you, Cantalions? What percent salary are you in? I'm in the, I get brow beaten over this with work on my news feed like Sean said. And I did, like I said, I stopped watching it for a little bit, but now like a, like a method, I'm just come, I'm crawling back to sports.

I need that competition. So I need that entertainment. So Democrats, Democrats say they watched more sports in the wake of social justice movements. Sure. Sure. I bet they would, you know, maybe, but that's exactly how you would expect an, like, an answer to go, right? Yeah. And what the Republicans say they watch less?

I actually love watching sports. I go to the training. I watch the training camp and read about it. Like, what are you talking about? Well, that's why everybody at the sports bar has no idea what the fuck's going on. Yeah. Just screaming women's watch. They're screaming like heartbeats at each other.

Well, and you, on every play, 8.6% of Republicans watch more sports. So they're 19% watched less. On the other hand, about 8% of Republicans watched more sports, well, 53% watched less. Get it lying as well. I believe you, you sports addicts. I don't lick her. Like if Wild Turkey came out, I'm like, we love, we as well. I believe you sports addicts. I don't know. I don't know. Like if wild turkey came out,

we love, we hate men. All men should be in gas chambers. I would still drink. Oh my god. Yeah. And it's like, I like the whiskey. I'm an alcoholic. The worth noting is that independence came in somewhere

in the middle with about 8.7%. Nine percent. Just round it up, saying they watched more sports in the social justice era in about 30. Wow, 39% saying they watched less. Yeah. I just a lot. I remember I used to watch football like every Sunday and a lot of people have asked,

I said, you know, I'm just not into it anymore. And people always want to, it's like, what is like the cappernick thing or anything? I was like, no, like I honestly just lost interest in the NFL. I don't know why. Yeah. I don't know why I had nothing to do with that. Yeah.

Okay. Is there any make your rage can't tell you anything? Yeah, hang over is after 30. I still recovering after a bender on Friday and I still not feeling quite right. So I'm drinking out just to steady everything out. Wait till you have 40. Yeah, see, I'm sober days are going to feel like you're hangover days. I stop drinking at 35. You missed out. So I know it. And there's definitely a difference in your 30s than your 20s. I can remember being drunk as fuck

as like a late teenager and getting up at like four or five in the morning and going and playing hockey the next morning and being fucking fine, fine, fine. Working out, no big deal. Yeah, you just, everything's, everything just processes shit. So all your cells are good, man. I think about liquor. Now and I wake up with hangover.

Yeah. Oh, well, that's what I was doing. Thinking about liquor. No, no, drinking liquor. That's the thing. Because I'm like, dude, I'm not dealing with this. Like, fuck that. I gotta get back to, okay.

You know, like, I'm, it's like, I got shit to do. I can't even tell where the hangover begins and the exhaustion's, where the hangover ends. I know, it's like, I got shit to do. I can't even tell where the hangover begins and the exhaustion's, where the hangover ends. I know, yeah. Exhaustion begins. No, they bled, yeah, sure. It's like, I don't fucking know. It's just a continuum of, it's a continuum of,

of an ebriation. Mm-hmm. Okay, can't tell you in scubai. Anyways, yeah. All right, see ya. See ya. All right, see ya. Johnson Brown, where you at? Unmute yourself, bud. I had it. Anyways, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to try it. Why didn't we start with this? You have fucked up so much. Oh my god. I forgot. Oh

Man and just for people listening you're the guy that lengthened lengthened your legs. Oh, yeah, and we did a camp Yeah, I think it might as well be me. Oh, this is the most interesting man in the world. Yeah, what did that crazy camp? Yes So you you lengthened your legs for you were like five eight and now you're now you're six feet tall. What was the difference? I like to make a length of three inches three inches from what to what? From around five eight to around five eleven. Wow. Am I am I crazy? He got an India to do this. We did do that. Yes. I did. Yeah. Okay. We can send Ralph and Riley to that camp. And they can stop screaming about who's five one. Yeah, it would work.

It would find each other from the hospital. But if you do your femurs too, it starts growing, growing sports at each other across the, yeah. That's a reality show. Get them labeling them in a cell phone. In India, yeah, exactly. They reality show. Get them labeling. Yeah, exactly. They've got the things, you know, they're not like walking around, just get them to, you know, fight with whatever they can grab from their bed. Keep in the same room and get the cameras roll the whole time. Yeah. So they start ordering fucked up food for somebody's

ordering asparagus so they can sling asparagus piss across the chat. Yeah, I want the cuddle fish. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, so you're going to lengthen your dick. Yeah, yeah, so I did some research. I ordered a $350 device from Germany that looks really promising. I'm going to keep detailed notes. Yeah, they get shit measurements. I'm going to keep detailed notes. Yeah, they get shit. Measurements. I started a blog. So we're going to do this as scientifically as possible.

And the main goal is to answer the question, can it be done? Like, can anybody lengthen their dick? Now, is this a big issue right now? Are you insecure about it? Or is this, I mean, I would guess that's the case, but, or are you just like, what do you mean insecure about it? Because obviously, he's doing I would guess that's the case, but or are you just like, what do you mean insecure about it? Because obviously, he's doing it. I can't believe this is purely a scientific exploration of whether it doesn't mean you're insecure if you just want to have a gigantic penis. Yeah, but I bet the odds are that's the case.

Are you insecure about your penis? No, no, I just actually measured it. I took a moto. We're about 6.75 inches right now. Oh, I mean, okay. Fairly average, but the main reason I'm doing it is for Kentillians. Okay, have you seen Kentillians' balls?

Yeah, they're huge. They're huge. But a stick is fairly average. So there's a huge ratio of problem here. It's a perspective. I just say average. You're not finding fairly works. Go ahead. What's that? Yeah, if I can find something that works, and we can extend

Kentillian's dick and make that ratio good, then I think I'll have done a great service. This guy's slowly turning himself into a superhero like bit by bit. Yeah, like he's getting a little, I'll get there eventually. I'll have done a great service. This guy's slowly turning himself into a superhero, like bit by bit. Yeah, like he's getting a little, I'll get there eventually.

I'll reach your ads for this. You hang on. Growing my legs and outside, I need to be able to take around a thousand hours of having this device pulled in on my dick. So if it doesn't work, then I'm gonna feel pretty foolish. How does the device operate?

This one, you use a little pump to suction the device onto the head of your dick, and then you have this little contraption with springs that just tug on it for hours and hours each day. So you're going to stretch it out. So you're going to stretch it out. So you're going to stretch it out. Yeah, just pull it and pick your dick. Now you mentioned that it had a little pump on it.

Is there one for a larger size, like a large pump? Or is that, it'll work on all size. So the pump is just to get the suction onto the head of your dick. Then you pull the pump off and you just wait. Now those things have been around for decades, right? That concept stretching your dick out. I mean the pumps, right? I don't know. This is not a problem. I've been in movies. But like those are the ones that go like, I guess the pump is just to get the suction cup to seal around your the head of your dick.

So that it has that to hold on to. It's not creating a fact. It's not a penis bump. Those to my knowledge don't work long term. Uh-huh. Do you have a picture of this penis lengthener device? Or the name of it? I do. Yeah, link it to me so I can.

I just post to my blog. Let me find the post with. Oh my God. Let me find the post with. Oh my God. Johnson's Johnson. .wordpress.com. Starting measurements. Can you send me a picture of your penis, erect penis? So I won't share it with anyone, but I want to see the results.

To verify it. To verify it. I actually have a safe for work version that I will post here. Okay. I can't see penis on this this though. It's just like a Log is posted Let's see here. Yeah, yeah, that's the I it's just like a drawing of a penis Well, I carefully outlined it. Um, I mean says you I could draw giant penis like that too.

I'll see if I can convince my wife to let me send the unedited one to you. I got another talk with the situation going on here. Wait, this is a real woman, I think. Oh, yeah. This one has a social security number, right? Yeah, because we have to ask these things. It was an immigrant. Oh, gotcha.

Okay. Do you mean her in India? Wow. No, she was born in India though. I met her in the Philippines. Oh wow. All right, this is the penis extender, Sean. Okay.

What do you think? Do you want to get one of these? I'll buy you one of these. Sure. Yeah, if you want to put some of these? I'll buy you one of these. Sure. Yeah, if you want to put some LBs on your penis. Oh, yeah, I don't know, man. It looks like a, looks pretty legit.

Looks pretty legit. Yeah, quite a contraption. It's got some, it's got some spears, it's got some tubes. Looks like a fishing bobber here. Some kind of bladder that you squeeze. Some kind of a space. It looks like a wormhole over here that I assume you insert your penis into. So it's something that it creates suction around the tip of your dick and then pulls on

it. Lock it in. Yeah, the suction is just so it has something to pull on. Yeah, and you got like what is like ratchet strap after that is, you know, there's a. Now, um, I'm pretty sure that this is going to work. I mean, we won't know until it's all over, but the biggest issue is going to be is, is this possible without damaging the dick? Yeah.

Yeah. Now what's still up in the air? What happens if, if, you know, you stretch it out and then you it out and then you get a boner and then the tip just flops over because you can only have so much blood in there. It just jups over like a... You have to damage the corpus cavernosa for that to happen, like those little blood channels in the dick. I think you'd actually have to tear and break those for that to happen.

So I'm not too concerned about that. I think the worst scenario is damaging the nerves. Yeah, right. That'd be great. And you couldn't feel anything. Yeah. Then you're outside of your back. And then you're inside.

This is a slow, or a slow long process. So I think I'll be able to see that coming before it's too late. Okay. Yeah, hopefully, sorry. Are you going to go to a doctor or anything? Oh, absolutely not. You know what kind of advice? No, that was going to be absolutely. Yeah. No, he's, you know, he knows what he wants to do. And a doctor would have said, don't break your legs and grow six inches, but you did that. You know, well, yeah, when I got back from home from India, I wanted to get an X-ray to find out what the fuck was going on in my legs because the frames were off, but the bones weren't consolidated, and I needed to see how solid the bones were. The doctor that I had usually gone to just

basically treated me like an insane person and refused to give me the X-ray. What an asshole. Just go to a fucking... He was an asshole, yeah. If you go to a... You can pay cash prices for X-rays almost anywhere. If it's... They still can't have some machine.

They still can have some machine. Well, yeah, but I mean, they're getting a precious machine. You can walk into a clinic and say you want X-rays and they give you a cash price of like 75 bucks. Yeah, and then insurance, they bill like, you know, 3,000. God damn. Yeah, I did go to a different doctor and got the X-ray, but his reasoning was that he wasn't a, he wasn't a forget the name for bone doctor, but he wasn't a bone doctor.

Oh, which is absolutely retarded. Okay. How big are you going to go if this does work? Painless lines. Oh, this guy's the limit. From what I've gathered, it's really hard. Like, I'm going to reel it in there. The sky's the limit.

You don't know. The problem is that you can't trust what you read about these things. Why? Like you look for reviews, you don't know. Well, because most of them are just going to be paid advertisements. Yeah. True. That's why I'm trying to do this to see if somebody that you can trust.

So you can finally do these work or not. But anyway, most people say about 3-quarters of an inch in about six months. So that's gonna be the baseline Okay So you could like tell how old you are by looking at your dick dick rings. Yeah, yeah Like one inch. Yeah every year. Right. He keeps at this. He'll be general Sherman Yeah, yeah, and then we can finally straighten out Kent Hylian's. All right. So six months, you're going to know. Yeah. I mean, well, no sooner than that. We'll know if there's progress or not, but six months will be the real moment of truth.

Godspeed. I hope it works. I don't know. I feel like I feel like we would have figured this out. If it works, like guys have been pulling on their dicks for ever since there was dicks. Yeah, for a number of reasons. Yeah. Like so exercise. Yeah. What a good way to say and shave. No, is this a boredom? Let me, is this a brand new product? Is that why this, you know, it says there's something new and unique about this because like you said, Dick, we would have thought, you know, we would have figured this out whether this works or not. Is there something different about this one that makes you think that it's not going

to be like all the others? It's a penny master pro. Yeah, that's what it's called. It's the suction. It's the suction grip on the tip. A long time ago, I tried one of the regular ones. They have extenders that have been out forever that use the silicone noose.

And it sounds just as painful as it is. You wrap the noose around the head of your dick and you pull on it in in about 10 minutes. Your head looks purple and you're in a lot of pain. Yeah, because you're physically damaging yourself and you're a racist. Yeah, basically, yeah. When you use a racist, either way,

you would use a racist, like a black guy. And is what you're saying. Right. Yeah. Yeah, so I think that's why this hasn't spread a lot because I mean, you'd have to go through a lot of pain, a lot of time and you'd have to do a lot of damage to your dick.

Mm-hmm. All right, I need updates on this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll be honest. At least monthly, right? I mean, usually we're all going to do it if there's even a suggestion of penis length. Well, I mean, he's a pioneer.

I mean, if you do this, this is more impressive than Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. Can you imagine what it would do for this company? If we found out it worked and then a bunch of people started doing it and it's like a billion devices. It's like, I've tried a lot of these. I've pulled on my cock for years. Right.

If it works, my dream is that Dick will be able to start up a penis lengthening contest and give a prize to people that give the most gains and then he'll be able to say that the Dixho is the only podcast that actually makes your dig bigger. Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, okay, let me know, Johnson. Johnson's Johnson. dot wordpress.com. That's where to go to look for your thing. Good shit. Do you have anything that makes you your rage? You know I don't I'm sorry. I did not prepare a rage get out of here I just really really quick question just going back to the the leg lengthening thing. So can you

Can you like play sports or like run is everything healed the way that it's you know supposed to be like run is everything healed the way that it's, you know, supposed to be. Um, pre sure, uh, the thing is I still have some pain because of my rods and screws in and titanium is less flexible than both. So I'm because the distal screws out before I really know I see a lot of people don't know that your bones actually in your lower legs, they load, you know, they flex. Yeah. Like spring. Yeah. Everything is a spring. Yeah. But see, when it, when it flexes, it's fixated at the top and bottom,

like I said, titanium is so. Yeah. So I can feel them just yanking on the bone. Gotcha. All right. Well, yeah. Okay. To be continued. Goodbye, Johnson. See you. Good luck with your penis. Got a big ol hog. That guy's risking for science. Yeah, you know, your penis. Whew, got a big ol' hog. That guy's risking for science. Yeah, you know, respect. He says average, but it's above average. Yeah, well, I don't even, what do they say, the average? Average penis size is three inches.

Well, it's different by ethnicity too. Yes. White men have the smallest penises in the world. Did you know that? Well, I think that's the new movement, doesn't it? 2021. In a survey, it is. It is going to be the new one. We've got to let people know how small white men's opinions are. I've oppressed, I personally have oppressed everyone and also. Is that going to be the line for you? I don't know.

If they come out with a study that says on average, actually, white men have the smallest penises, is that the thing that makes white people say that's it? No way. We're done. You could do the black only UBI and the black farmer bailouts and whatever, but I'm drawing the line at the penis stuff. That's it. The black farmer bailout. That's it. Okay, let's do voice mails. Let's see if we got I got seven minutes. You got to go. Goodbye everybody. Thank you for listening to the Dixho. Patreon.com slash the Dixho

Dixho. See you next Tuesday. Later. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Fat dot Dix dot show. Fat dot Dix dot show. Fat dot Dix dot show.

Fat dot Dix dot show. Fat dot Dix dot show. Fat dot Dix dot show. Fat dot Dix dot show. I think we could lose more weight than anybody else. Yeah. This show together. If we're up against Vito and the kill stream, oh, you won't involve all of them and stuff

to these podcasts. Yeah, it's got to be every show has got to be fighting each other. Yeah. Okay. And then fans of the show can have, you know, I really, man, my fucking self discipline is just it in all time. Low. That's not acceptable. I know. I know. I'm really going to have to have a discipline. Oh, enough to pull it together. You are looking very fat. You know, fucking huge. I'm still exercising at least, but not

enough. Man, I am eating too much. Oh, yeah, I'm dude. Yeah, told you about the 10 impanata, fucking sit down. I fucking ate 10 hot pockets. Yeah, nobody wants to admit that they ate 10 hot pockets. I was, I was a little proud and mostly a Paul, but it happened. And you had to stop yourself, I bet. You could eat more that I ate. No, they were, they were gone. And you had to stop yourself, I bet. You could eat more.

No, they were, they're gone. That's all of them physically limited. Okay, here we go. Hey, they have another rich for you today. Okay. It's cops who just randomly decide to fucking follow you. So I'm dropping someone off. There's a cop coming on the other side. They do that street. It's a four-way intersection. We're gonna make left plates. In other words, we're gonna go totally opposite directions, the cop and I. And we're going at the same time. My left turn is complete. All the fucking sudden, this cop is right behind me. I hate that shit. Absolutely happens. I see they were going the other way. We don't need them. We don't need them. Well, don't need cops. Right. That little street app

turned into was less than a hundred feet away from the light. And I'm turning right, sure enough, the fucking cop is right behind me. That's where I was dropping the person off a little bit into that road. And the guy looks like he's going over there right behind me. I pull over right there where I'm dropping the person off. The cop does a fucking turn shortly in front of me. So I'm like, all right, fuck here is where the cop is gonna come tell me some shit or something. Now this is drive right past. cop is gonna come tell me some shit or something. Now this is drive right past. What the fuck? What the hell are they doing? Yeah, I'm gonna fly by intimidation. I want to see what you're gonna do. Yeah. What the fuck? What the fuck? Running your place. Absolutely.

The citizens don't get the fucking go around with a real gun and a fake gun and draw the fake gun. I just want to see what you do after. I just want to fucking see what you're going to do. You should know. You're wrong. You're fired. We don't fucking get to do that.

Why the fuck did they get to? Anyways, fucking go fuck yourself, Nick. Sean, I love you. Don't need them. Don't need them. Defund the entire police force. Yeah. Don't need them. I hate. I really do. That's really annoying because it's so fucking obvious.

Take it up with the Fed. Like they could just give you more money, especially if you're like, if you've got a car that's like, uh, I see him do it. No, it's like, I know you're just fight. They've done it to me. They've done it. It's like, I know you're just fight, they've done it to me, they've done it to me. It's like, I know you're just everybody. You're just looking for, you're just looking for a reason to get into my fucking car.

I'd love to go look through people's cars. That was my job. Just drive around, pulling people over, looking at their stuff. What's up? Hey, I hate you. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. I'm another human being over here. I hate you. I'd knock, knock, knock, knock. I'm another human being over here. I hate you.

I'd love to fuck with your day. Okay, let's see. I got two more. Two more voice fails. I was only gonna play one. Oh good. Okay. You can keep going.

I gotta go. No, I know. We're both going. Hey, Dick, I just want to call you out on a crush phrase. You, even using a lot lately. Oh, God. And it's what do you think about that? Like, it's too much, man.

That's like most of the bonus episode is what do you think about that, Sean? Boob, Garyx disease. That's pretty funny. What do you think about that? Big Garyx disease. Yeah. I don't think he's under. He's got to stop, man.

I don't think he's understanding why you do that. You don't think he's under that i don't think he's understanding why you do that you don't think so no i think you do it because you know that i won't have a whole lot to say and it's funny i don't know maybe he has a big page read sometimes i do but a lot of times it's a little spurted about that uh... but i know but i know about it when you think about that

i think it's funny maybe one more i do one more okay i got a rage for you if this persistent delusion uh... people have their minds changed by dialogue or any other form of discussion for that matter granddad god bless them with a union and all his life

and for that reason and that reason only a lifelong democrat but with all the recent bullshit in the twenty twenty election beforehand he expressed in the event to vote for Donald Trump all right well shit maybe people can uh... change their mind right

you want to hear what he said after quote i didn't vote for president. I think your Trump didn't need any help. Great. And I'm going to tell you, when I was caught perfectly between being totally aghast and yet also being fully unsurprised. Of course, because Donald Trump had an R next to his name. You could have put Jesus Christ on that motherfucker. He would have the same thing. I definitely wouldn't vote for Jesus Christ. Keep that kind of shit in mind. Next time you think that you're going to talk someone into a different opinion. Yeah. People don't fucking listen. And that's all I had to say about that got fucked up. People only understand fear. Yeah. Well, it's death, fear of not knowing

something or being embarrassed in the future. But that's deep in our DNA. That's all there is. We have a, a, a pretty strong negativity bias, you know, because that big furry thing with the long teeth, well, might fucking kill me. Or if I'm back in me, if I'm back in the day, play my cards right, right, right, right. Yeah, no, we absolutely is. Yeah, it's a, it's a self preservation thing debating and shit is so stupid. It's all, it's all fear.

All there is is the only argument is fear. Okay, everybody, bye. See ya. Thank you. the only argument is fear. Okay, everybody, bye. See ya. Thank you.