The Dick Show - Episode 256 - Dick on Money Shots

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Inventory control systems, my dog has the coof, crossing the street to avoid the police, the Raiders can breathe again, gender lessons for middle schoolers, Sports Bra Taylor calls in to read the news, Mr. Girl calls in to talk about his pedophile rap songs, the Chinese Nigerian penis trade, a botched threesome, the world's unluckiest man, and how Sean would kill himself; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

It's not a word for that, but there should be. Regarding what? Like, what's it for you want to regard in that way? What's an example? Like a people, you mean like a, like a group of people? All of them. Oh, okay. Yeah.

You know, anybody, right? See if we're good. Yeah, there. There's not a word for that emotion of, well, I don't hate them, but I want them to die. Or a thing, a thing, you know. I can't think of a good example. You know what, Sean? No, when you do, I'll help you out.

I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. What's that drug strategy to that? I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out.

I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you. Right at the peak of drugs. Yeah. People say you have your best ideas. Yes. People say that drugs aren't good for creativity, but they are. It's just that they're only good in the first 10% on the rise up. And then you're just shredding an, an ocean of bad ideas that stretches to infinity. I mean, for, especially for talented or creative people, they think on a toilet. I mean, you will look at things differently. I mean, and sometimes that works. And I think a lot of people who think

it makes them more creative or whatever, probably not all that talented to begin with. True. Let's put it this way. You'll definitely get something different. Let's put it this way. You'll definitely get something different. Let's put it this way. I'm doing the drugs. Right.

No matter what. So you might as well justify it. Yeah, I would never just write that off. You know, I think it's dependent on a lot of things, but I wouldn't just go, no, they don't. No, they don't. That's a lie. That's a myth.

I don't know about it, but it's a myth. Yeah, no, I wouldn't call it a myth. Ah, okay. Have this up to see if I've screwed anything up today. Yes, it's on time. On time and gay, they say. Mm, all right. Well, sorry to disappoint you with the sexualality.

Ah, I feel like I need a Coke or something. Maybe I shall get one. Would you mind? She's out. Can I have a backup Coke? A backup Coke. Thank you. Let's get a decoy Coke.

Seeing all the empty Cokes in Emily's white clove here. Oh, yeah. Hard celtzer. What does hard celtzer taste like? Back in the beef. Basic sugar. Back in my BC days, you know, I don't think they made hard celtzer before. Just no, just beefing like That's how long it's been. You know what I mean?

I feel like drinking. Oh yeah, tell me to knock it. Thank you. Tell Sean that Ouija board says hello. That's what he said. Hello Ouija board. He wanted those. Yeah, that's one.

Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of, let's put it this way. It's IPAs did not come in a can. The last time I was drinking, it came in a bag. Yeah. Here you go. Thanks. There's one for you. Thank you.

One for the doctor. As your lawyer, I advise you to drink a diet coke. It's weird, because I'd see you in coach drinking IPAs and I'm like, what, like in a can? It's like, oh, no, it's better. We were early on the IPA train. Yeah. Immediately, we heard right away that they'd figured out a way

to get 8% alcohol into a single beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we spread that idea far and wide. Every bar we went into, even in McDonald's, we would go, you got IPA? Yeah. How do you call yourself a McDonald's? You got IPAs here or what?

Like, no, we don't have, huh, all these customers are asking you, better tell your boss, fucking this guy, this guy over here, everybody's like, you got IPAs? Yeah. First, you tell me that you don't serve breakfast after 1030, and that you don't have any, you don't have any leftover, you don't have a single 1030 and that you don't have any left over,

you don't have a single egg muffin leftover. That's always like from seven minutes ago. 1030, it's like, I thought it was 11. I thought it was 11, too. Is it all day? I got fucked over recently on that as well. Did they did try that though, right? And then it was in some locations,

like McDonald's, you can't do me dirty like that. You can't some locations me. Right. Because when I want the breakfast, I'm in another, another location. Do any of them do it still or was it a fail because not enough? It's impossible to know. Yeah. It's just impossible to relate the real, real life things that are going on. The, the inventory of life to any kind of digitized representation. You can't go to a McDonald's dot org and type in your zip code like who fucking serves all day breakfast around me. We have no idea.

I know there's places with better quality ingredients, whatever, but I still think the sausage McMuffin with egg is the greatest breakfast sandwich ever made. I can't. You can't fuck with it. It's like the way that the sausage is seasoned, I don't know why it works. It's like they figured out the magic formula for how to make that.

There's nothing quite like that. Nothing with a diet coke, unbeatable. Pair that with a medium diet coke because in the morning, I like a more sensitive glass container for the diet coke. In the evening, I'll supersize it, I'll get a large, I want that thing wrapped in a poster board. Got it.

You know? Yes, I wanted to feel like plastic almost. I wanted to feel like I could sail in it. But in the morning, I want a little slippery, I wanted to condensate more. You know? Yeah, sure. I want my glass to sweat like I do. That's, I want it to condensate more. You know, you know? Yeah, sure. I want my glass of sweat like I do. That's why I get the medium.

I see large too much. Okay, it's like I'm going to work. Oh, I have time for that. And you don't want to have to start pissing that much early in the day. That's a good point. You just keep going, you're just like, oh, fuck, it's like half an hour later.

Damn, more of that, that coax working through. If you get your pissing started early in the day, you're having, it's a long day. You know, a lot of walking, get up, very inefficient. Every half hour, great. Yeah. I really locked myself into a piss fest today. That's great. Might as well just start drinking. Hey, honey, did you get your steps in today?

No, I did. Yeah, I did. Because I started pissing at like eight in the morning. And I'm very hydrated. I'm not actually, because I've just been drinking Diet Coke all day. Yeah. And silica packets. I'm the opposite of hydrated. Yeah.

Caffeine just makes you pissed too. Here's another, let's talk inventory control for a second. Okay. They, whoever, I don't know if Chainlink, I suspect Chainlink is doing this, the cryptocurrency, whoever can figure out how to make the inventory on the website match the inventory that's actually in the fucking store, a trance, a trillion dollar idea. I had to drive, I had to, I have driven to Petco not once, but twice, thinking that I'm in luck and I can get a bed or a cage that's in stock,

you gotta have a cage for your dog. It's gotta be just the right cage. I can get it there in stock. They got one left, the website says. Yeah. Amazon says they got one left. Oh, you got one left? Why would you put it on there?

Why would it even be on there if you didn't have, I show up. Hey, I noticed that you got none on the shelf. Perhaps you have one in the back because the site says. Because the site says you have one now. Sites wrong. I understand that. I know. First, man, let me assure you, you see this red A on my chest that I'm required

to wear by the government, this scarlet A, stands for a huge pain in the ass. And so let me assure you that I'm not leaving until you check in the back two times. Yeah. Because I know the first time you're going to have acid. True or false? No, true. True or false.

Yeah. Which is fine. True. I would do the same thing in your position. Exactly. Exactly. But you are going to look and you're going to, I'm going to make you go in the back and ask the guy who does the unloading. Yeah, the right-know-you, yeah, you don't unload shit. I see your hands.

You've never unloaded, you've never unloaded anything bigger than a, than a cock. Your entire life, ma'am. So I'd appreciate it. If I drove, not only did I, I drove 30 minutes to get here, 20 minutes, rounded up. I'm appreciate it if I drove not only did I I drove 30 minutes to get here 20 minutes. Yeah, I'm rounding it up Like McDonald's should do with the fucking 10 30. No one can remember that. Yeah Such an odd time to stop serving breakfast. I drove to make a top of the hour 30 minutes make it noon That's what I was eating lunch at 11 at 1035. Oh, I could really go for a cobs salad right now at 1035. That's true. I drove. It's a weird thing to order like

a salad before lunch time. It's even weird order of salad for lunch. You ever eat a salad for breakfast? No. I don't think I ever do it. Sal have a solid, solid, I lost half a pound. Well, we're rounding up though. Don't be afraid. So then you've lost one pound total. Didn't you lose half a pound last week? Yeah. There you go.

I was down to one. The scale said 197. See the Friday weigh-ins, or the Thursday weigh-ins is key because Friday, you just fucking hammer at fat.dick.show. You start hammering the booze. Whatever you're doing. Whatever, yeah. We're round, round, and up on there.

Whatever makes you creative. I'll tell you why we're rounding up. Never have I ever. This is a game. You know, this game. Never have I ever. Yeah. Here's the adult man version of that game.

Never have I ever had a contractor come back to me and say, you know what, it wasn't as much concrete as I thought we needed. So here's 150 bucks back. Yeah, what do they say for twice the price, you can have it six weeks late. Oh, is that all? Ha, ha, ha, ha.

What I do here is, oh you know what? We're gonna need, gonna be a little more concrete than I thought. Yeah. Could be another, that's gonna be another 500 bucks. Oh, is it 500 even? Yeah. Are you sure?

Did you round it up? Don't 1030 me motherfucker. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to give me decimals. Yeah, you're already fucking me right here. Don't be afraid to give me the whole, don't be afraid to give me it was 472. Don't be afraid of that.

Right, don't, you don't need to round up for my ease. I want that 28 bucks. I got Venmus right here. I'm either touching zero or I'm touching other numbers. It's no, it's no, it's no inconvenience, sir. Don't be afraid to say amount of time. Don't be afraid to not round it. That's what I'm saying.

Right. Because I know you got other add-ons too. Those are all getting rounded. I don't think they're getting rounded down. And what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, the inventory control system. That's actually a big, like my brother knows all about this shit. Well, your brother should be shot.

Yeah, well, he doesn't work. He doesn't do it for pet cone, necessarily. But yeah, that's like, that's why, dude, stores big chain stores and stuff, they hire consultants to fucking figure that shit out. And they have to get, they should all be shot. How to get shit from the truck to the shelves, like more efficiently or like how they should be run over. Yeah.

The, who? The people driving the trucks. Oh, gotcha. Bigger trucks. Because they're fucking up as well. Yeah. The people driving the trucks. Oh, gotcha. Bigger trucks, because they're fucking up as well. Yeah. Disappointment. Maybe it was disappointment. Could have also been fear. And the look in my girlfriend's face, when I show up to Walmart and the inventory of the quest systems that they have doesn't mat the Oculus Quest system doesn't match what's on the website.

doesn't matter the Oculus Quest system, doesn't match what's on the website. Mm. I don't, disappointment, maybe, could be fear. Here it comes. Oh boy, here it comes. I see monster ate my ice cream, let's start the show. Mm. Presenting.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Ah. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. DICK! Ah! DICK! DICK! DICK!

DICK! DICK! DICK! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo!

E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo!

E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! E-Yo! I'm a house like mashing AK the $20 million man. Voters, Merrick's, where is Mexican? A hundred and... No, it can't be that. A hundred and six. Weeks running, joining with me, it's always this world touring LA based comedian showing the audio engineer.

Hello, Jack. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourself. Thank you for joining us in another very unhealthy episode. Very unhealthy. The dog was less impressed by the yell every week. She's growing up, totally conked out. She's growing up, Sean. She's a teenager now totally caked out. She's growing up, Sean.

She's a teenager now. She's barking back. Oh, really? She saw. Ruff. Got a lot of opinions. Fucking better not. They have opinions.

She's very liberal. Oh, really? She loves the police. Smoking, sending nudes to Kiro the Wolf, smoking inappropriate pictures, playing pool, I playing pool, I said, what are you doing? What are you doing? Even seeing the flop without at least a pair of jacks. What the fuck are you thinking? Yeah, I'm going on a shoe. Oh, boy, that's not way to play poker. You should cheer. No. Yeah, the fans.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dog has had the coup full week. Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna go. Well, I'm just gonna lean in hard to the dog. I was gonna say, just embrace it. You know, I'll fucking, no, oh, I finally had a system worked out for peeing outside, taking the dog, which is a shitload of energy to the dog park every day,

walking it around, but then you can pee outside there too. Yeah, yeah, we both of us can. The dog got hit with the coof, so I can't take it to the dog park because the second I set foot in there, it just starts hacking uncontrollably. Oh wow. And then, you know, is it kennel coof?

I assume so. Yeah. I don't know, I try toel koof? I assume so. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why I try to take her to the doctor. Oh. And I said, well, doc, turns out that animal doctors are just as worthless as the human ones. Okay. Well, doc, she's got the koof.

My parents' dog has got the same koof. And every video I've looked at online, is their koofing exactly the same cuff and every video I've looked at online, is their cuffing exactly the same way and it says, cannell cuff. Yeah. And that goes, well, I'm going to take an know, as I just said, my parents dog has it that she's been around and has the cuffed. It got antibiotics there. What's very common, Kendall cough is like, it's like a cold for dogs, really. So it's really, yeah.

And they get, it seems, because they cough and then at the end they go, yeah, which is, and it seems really bad, but normally they get over it, you know, I mean, it's dangerous to some dogs, but it's, it's, it's doesn't go over well at the dog bar. It's no, no, no, no, can you stop? But it's stopped doing the healthy, healthy dog. It's, it's normally just fine. It takes him a couple of weeks to get over it. And, Doc says, I'd still like to, I'd still like to take an X-ray. Like, yeah, I bet you, if I could have 400 bucks, well, out of nowhere, I would love to do that.

Sure. Yeah, that's sometimes. You're not taking a fucking X-ray. There are definitely vets who lean on the, you're not doing, you love your animal and we know that. So she's been tearing, oh, yeah, exactly. So it's like, can you get in there? Let's be sure. Let's have an MRI machine. Yeah. I'm not one of those people, Doc. I'm like, a, a, it's pretty good. The doc gets as good a medical care as I do. Let's put it that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They give them, I can't remember what they give them for like a cough suppressant.

It's like they give them like a pill and it's like a, it's something that's... It's a intestine. No, well, it's dexamored. It's something that you wouldn't think would be for coughs, but it works really good for coughs in dogs. I can't remember really. Yeah. I don't know about that.

Oh, here, wow, Sean, here. Did you see these? Here's an inspiring, I don't know if it's too late to inspire you with these corporate branding messages. That's hilarious. So, L.A. Raiders, I heard about this. I can breathe the L.A. Raiders say, the Los LA Raiders. I heard about this. I can breathe the LA Raiders say. Well, he got a lot of Los Angeles Raiders, right?

I can breathe so, so on, brand for the Raiders. I can breathe. Yeah. Yeah, he got, he got, he got a lot of shit for that. We can't, we can't. Mark, what's his name? David. Yeah, well, because people in a show called, people, someone put their knee on his neck.

Well, people thought it was, yeah, people thought it was like making fun or like, as I can breathe like where it's like, yeah, but it's like, no, he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We rebuilt George Floyd. We have the tech, not we have the sportsmanship. We've rebuilt him with a titanium under armor neck. It went for 2021. Grippy hands. So he doesn't lose his fentanyl or spending more $20 bills.

We can he can breathe. I can breathe. Fentanyl Floyd returns for the 2021 season. I can breathe and you will, too, Mark Davis summer coming to a convenience store near you. George Floyd Derek St starring Derek Chauvin Right Sorry Derek Chauvin's knees his knee. I've got to go to work honey and then it's two knees and they're like it I love you I love you the knee and the knee is like Iron Man though the knees making like careful out there honey

You can't allow their honey. There's a of, I know you got a dirty job to do. Busting these criminals, these drug addicts that hold that rob a pregnant woman's hat. Did you know George? You're like, in a world where I counterfeit 20 is the worst crime ever. You go home, you know what I'm saying? Oh, and'm I'm You got home. You know, and that's too much. That's too far. That's the convenience store owner. Yeah.

Honey, I, I, I, Dan, I got accepted in his daughter comes in. Dan, I got accepted to go to MIT to research cancer. Here's the bill, but we're, oh, I can't pay it because I'm $20 short. Damn you fentanyl Floyd. Dan Harvard sent back my, the overhead shot going you know Harvard sends back going on 20 like this is a counterfeit 20 you fucking idiot send your daughter back to China Did you know that fentanyl Floyd posed as like a as a water delivery man to rob that pregnant woman's house? What?

Yeah, you know he robbed a pregnant woman him and his him and his buddies know I don't know I read it somewhere Yeah, I know he posed as like a collagen man. I read Like bugs bunny George Floyd is there Hocking he waited in the bushes knocked out Culligan man. What is the uniform, I'm on, so it didn't fit. Right, because he's gigantic. You can't get your stormtrooper uniform. Well, excuse me, man.

I haven't heard that. Excuse me, man, I'm here to deliver the water. The water? We're up. We're up. I always have a problem. I'm never gonna go, like, talking like Edgar from men about, man, I'm the Culligan man.

Here, with the water. Right, because he's high. Was it for him to know? Is it for him to know? Oh, yeah. I put my hands on my head. Like that, this is pretty good enough for you. I guess everybody could do not know. I don't know.

It's pretty good. What was I saying? You know, Mark Davis is the gift that keeps on giving because you will never lose track of a sports topic. Well, all you need to know, have you, do you know what he looks like? No, what does he look like? Mark Davis?

Yeah, just, just Google Mark Davis. That was an Al Davis's son. Yeah. And it's the greatest hell. It's the greatest haircut ever. Here? Yeah. Yeah, Mark Davis.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bull cut a reno. That's for real. He's like an ugly Boris Johnson. Oh my goodness gracious. Look at that one of the in the center bottom with NFL This one. Yeah, look at that. How is this legal? I got a sender at show of it over here. It's incredible. He's on the suicide squad now in prison. Uh, look. Wow. I love it. I knew you didn't know what he looked like and I'm like, oh, you've got to see. He can breathe. He's the guy that said he woke up with that haircut and said,

I can breathe. Yeah. I, you know, did they have another one ready? Like the president's speeches for if the Apollo last astronauts didn't come back. Right. And it's like, oh, they died for like a noble cause. And we're like sending up another space, man to get them off the moon. Like they had all those contingencies. Like if they turned out that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were gay and gay kissed and the capsule, they had a speech for that.

Nixon had a whole speech just for that. Yeah. Can you believe that? The gay speech? Yeah. Yeah. You have to, you got a plan for every multiple scenarios. I think contingency. Just don't know. People do weird things in space. You know, I mean, you're, you're, it's the ultimate space, gay, gayness. Well, what's, what happens in space stays in space?

You know, yeah. That's what it was. Right. It's like, it's like, it's like an order, order, a magnitude beyond Vegas. Nothing happens in Vegas. That's what it was. Right. It's like an order. Order some magnitude beyond Vegas. Nothing happens in Vegas. That's what happens in Vegas. Anyway, that's a phenomenal haircut. So did they have a different one ready in case George Floyd or in case Shovon was innocent that said, I can't breathe. I don't always, because this was the, I don't think so.

I don't think so. Already and approved by, you know, this jackass breathe. I don't always the, because this was already approved by, you know, this, this jackass with that hair wasn't on Photoshop in bed. Well, I was 10 in the morning. Blu, blu, blu, blu. I don't know. I mean, I don't think it was, he's though, he said it was me. I did it. He doesn't see. He, he took full, you know, response or credit. He's responsible. Yeah. whatever. Yeah, he said that was me. So and I had to act and I meant and I meant a like this. Oh, powerful message. I can breathe. Okay. Well, I don't know about I don't know how you feel about it, but hey, one one more

cop is off the street and a violent felon is dead. It's a good day for America. Oh boy. It's just a million, if all the violent felons and all the cops, we get rid of, if we get them all behind bars, was he, oh, he was a, yeah, because he did that arm robbery. Was he convicted of a felony? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I just, I mean, like, I know, I don't like. I don't know. I just, I mean, I know them. I don't like it when people get canonized. Like, you know, he was fucked up, made bad decisions, like a lot of people do. Like, you don't have to, you don't have to make, you don't have to turn him into something that he wasn't for, you know, for what happened to him to be, you know, like a polling. Or it's, you know, you don't have to, you just don't have to be a polling or it's,

you just don't have to do that. I want you to lead, I get killed by the police, because it will happen eventually. I'm sure I'm gonna be able to move. This is the game plan, and people aren't hip to this, but that's okay,

because they don't have the criminal intent like I do. They don't have the criminal mind. I could crack these things wide open, because of criminal thinking. Right? Well, and that's part of why people get charged with certain things. Like you have to have, you know, have to be thinking like a criminal. Yeah, can be up there going, me, if I'm a cop, kill a guy next day, I go, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was just doing what the policy was. That's what the policy is. That's what the policy was. That's what the policy was. Day one, I'm out there. That's what the policy was. That's what the policy is that's what the policy was that's what the policy was day one. I'm out there That's what the policy was yeah, that's what the policy was. Yeah, lawyers like would you shut up right now take this and I'm not fucking shut

No, I'm going right out there. Are you guys insane? I'm going right out there and blaming blaming blaming blaming I got a whole fucking chart Hey, everyone welcome by I killed that guy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got a blame pie. I got a blame chart here's Okay, 50% for me, all right? 50%? Fucking department. Because they had this thing. Now they were trained by Israel. So 50% cause of Israel defense, I knew it.

What was I saying? Oh yeah. Taking out, they took over academia, right? Who's that? I don't want to call them the left, but the people who want to shut down independent thought. Yeah, the people who are against, the people who want your money and want your freedom gone. You want to control thought,

college, college, college, college, college certainly is controlled. Left. Yeah, it certainly is. So weird left, like veto's left, I'm left. I honestly think that I'm i mean i i think you're kind of from his truck trumps fucking left i i mean i'm with regard to what like people being gay or who cares like uh uh uh uh

well you know he doesn't she doesn't she's in civil rights is supposed to be a left issue he doesn't get a question about yeah he doesn't give a shit about uh about gay marriage or anything like that i mean the first time you picked up a Bible was when he was running. Yeah, that's, you know, come on, let's be real. Yeah. What was my point? But I don't think those, like the people who want to,

the woke mob is not left. They just took it over. They took over the left. They took over the left. The same way they took over academia. Both took over the left. They took over the left. Oh, yeah. The same way they took over academia. Both parties have been hijacked a different times by different groups, by, you know what I mean? Like for sure.

And, well, religious sell-its. Oh, yeah, yeah. One percentage of religious sell-its have taken over are always trying to take over. Oh, yeah. And they took, they took over the left. They took over academia, the woke mob. I'm not even going to call them the left because I don't think they are. And they are now taking over the military and the police.

It is a, they are running the fucking playbook exactly the way they took over college. Like now you look at college and say, it's, it's totally impenetrable. It's a fucking nightmare, it's a nightmare that exists to siphon money away from the government into tenured, into tenured cartel bosses that run all thought and science within that academic institution. Well, I think it's false. I think it's doing a big disservice, too, to like people coming out of it because it's they're the first ones for the safe space, the first ones to like grown when like a comedian

jokes. Yeah. It's not, it's just, it's not the world. They're weaponized. Yeah. This woke my, now they took over, it's not, it's just, it's not the world. They're weaponized. Yeah. This woke my, now they took over, they took over the hallowed institutions of thought and reason and critical analysis and science. And now they moved to the, now they're moving to the enforcement divisions of these values,

which is police and military. They are going, you can see it happen. Like there was a point in when college was not like that when it was. Yeah, sure. For all about rational analysis, but when it was not a money machine, which it is now, now it's just a theory machine. It is crazy. An endowment machine.

Yeah. And they're doing the same thing to the police, the military, and the only reason I brought it up is because a stupid joke, I said, which was, I will be killed by the police. They are going to start enforcing. They are, imagine the police with the mentality of a college right now. That's the future. That is the future that they're gearing up for, which means I will, I and everyone listens to Joe one day be executed by the police and I hope when that happens, you lead with that

little speech about how no one should be canonized and then accept this man, accept me. Got it. That's what I wanted to say. Right, bro, okay. I'll remember that. You remember freeway chases? The 90s?

I'm not sure. 90s guys. Well, I mean, they still have one happen the other day. I don't know how it ended. It doesn't matter. Yeah. It was a't matter. Yeah. It was a great time. Yeah.

If the criminal got run over, it's like that's awesome. Yeah. That was a great freeway chase. If the criminal pulled the cop out of the car, kicked his ass, stole the cop car, that's awesome as well. It's awesome as well. Yeah.

It was possible to root for all outcomes. Yeah. And now we have to pick a side of and have hashtags and slogans and I'm fucking sick and buy it. Takes all the joy out of it. I saw Dean Kane, Dean Kane, Superman, the best Superman of all the Superman. Say, well, what are you going to do when there's a guy when you're in trouble in your home and you got to call the police? Like, are you, are you fuck fuck you just lying to everyone's face What do you say that in regard to the police? I mean they show up and it protect you

What where is that happening? They're there two hours away Nobody's what am I gonna shelter up in my pantry and board it up like a card. Hey, I'm being raised in a panic room I'm being raped. I'm being raped. I'm being raped. I've got a card jack between my S and this guy's dick. I don't think it's, I don't know how much longer it could last. I might have, I might have, I don't know, three hours of shocks. He's getting, that penis is getting close. Right. He's penetrating me.

That tip is coming closer and closer to my inevitable rape. Right. Can I get an operator on the line? Yeah. Or what? I drive to work the same way every day, right? Yeah. It's funny. It's kind of a tangential cop story, I guess.

Right. So I see, like, there's a homeless guy. I see, he's probably like in his like 20s, maybe early 30s, looks Latino of some sort, kind of fat. I never see him talking to himself. I never see him do anything. So I drive by this place that I'm, you know, on the way to work.

And there's three units there, right? Tahoe's or Yukon's or whatever fucking SUVs they drive, right? Which are probably 40 grand a pop, right? So there's two cops hanging out by one of their cars, and then four cops standing about 15 feet away from the guy who's just sitting Indian style like with like a blanket next to him. And he's just sitting there and like he's not even saying anything or anything. So I drive past I'm like, oh, well, I've seen this guy a million times, never seen.

I wonder who called the cops or whatever. He's like I said, he's just, he's sitting on the ground. So then I keep driving, come to a light and then all of a sudden I hear, whoop, whoop, whoop. Three more fucking units, they're not, they're not flying through the light, but they're blipping their sirens so that they can go through the light. Yeah.

And I'm like, are they fucking going to this right here? They have a fucking cook off over there. Turn around. I'm like, I gotta see what these stupid mother fuckers are up to, because I know they're going to the same place. I just have to see it. Sure as shit. They just like park and slowly get a, so there are, there are six, there are 12 cops there. 12 fucking cops for a homeless guy sitting in the end style with a blanket. The next I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna do what he did. So next day, I drive by, he's in the same place.

Yeah, he's in the same place. So like what was going on? Are you sure you brought enough guys? I just want that explained to me. It seems retarded. If there's a cop. I know you're bored. If there's a cop walking on my side of the street

and I cross the other side of the street. If there's one who had a stop light, I hit the door lock. Power lock, you know? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Being off. Don't look at him. Bad name.

Don't look at him. I was right. I drive through Englewood, no guy working. I used to, life coach used to live in Englewood. I drive there, drive by guys doing a bench press in their front lawn and go, nice for a man. Yeah. Great job. Here's looking at you, buddies.

Right. And they're like, what's up, man? You see a man in uniform? I see a man in uniform. No, I contact. Yeah. No, I contact with that man. Right.

It could cost you. Right. I can't do a ticket at least. Yeah, of course they're going there. Of course they're going there. Of course they're going there. We got to get there before all the good jokes and fucking 240,000 dollars worth of tax pay or vehicles there. Good job assholes.

So I've shoving what have apologized to you not being jailed. I don't know. I'm flint. Right. Couldn't be worse. Okay. What else do I have here? And misogyny will now be recorded as a hate crime in England. That's good.

It's about time. It's about time hate crimes. See? Whatever it's just missile. No, no, it's any crime against women. Whatever you do to this aren't isn't everything like a white isn't everything like a fucking hate crime. Does it matter?

Are there are there there, are the penalties different? How much legislation, in other words, is there for? I mean, I think the penalties, but I just want to know how much they don't get prosecuted that much, I think. Well, I mean, because at the end, at the end of the day, the action is the action. Yeah, right? The motivation, I know the mentality of it does come into what charges you bring against, somebody they talk about depraved mind, all that kind of, you know what they need? They need emotional support hookers because if the intent goes into it, like maybe, like if you want to just pay a woman for sex, that's obviously a crime. But if I have emotional support,

if there's an, I should have saved this for the bonus episode. If I need emotional support for COVID, and piss everybody off, go ahead. I mean, if they'll fill in the blanks. Your show. That's really, here's something that makes me a rage. Articles that go sleeping less than six hours a night

can raise your risk of dementia. I stumbled on that one. I stumbled on that one at two in the morning on my phone. Yeah, my phone man popped that up. Hey, is sleeping less than six hours? Oh, I'll just sleep more than. Right, yeah. Because that's the way we're both getting dementia.

If that's, you know, that's the one thing that, that's the one thing people just forget to do. It's fucking going to sleep. Yeah, right. Oh yeah, oh, oh, it's not like working out 30 minutes of going for a walk every day, or am I not gonna do that? Like I just would, I would rather sleep than live. If I'm driving and I wanna live or sleep, sleep wins.

Mm-hmm. If you know what I'm saying, no matter what, no amount of money could prevent me from wanting that. I'll just, oh, thanks for the heads up. Now I gotta think about this. Well, here's, it's always something, it's always something. I'm all keyed up because sports broad tailors, what time is it?

11th or so, oh shit, sports broad tailors. So you could call on her today? Oh my God. Oh, really? Oh my God. What a, I don't know how we looked. I don't know how I talked our way into this. We, woman calling you.

Ooh, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh. Sports Broad Taylor. Bra. Oh, sports bra. Sports bra. I could have sworn I heard broad. Do you? Sports Broad Taylor. Okay,

let's see what else I got here. Gun deaths. Oh, yeah, here's another what what people think versus what the actual is. I like those. Oh, it's got a yeah, this has got to be really. Oh, how about this one? It's got to be a large disparity. My boyfriend said I was so fat. So I ate this whole pizza. I saw that. I'm good. Good one. Okay. Fat passports. Yeah. Tory MP Charles Walker says if we have COVID passports, we may have obesity passports.

This is in England. I take it right. Yeah. The tourist people would scan their BMI at restaurants. Then overweight people, I, yeah, then people would scan their BMI at restaurants. Then overweight people would get smaller portions. And the obese would get, you know, I really, I really hate, I really hate, is he, is he an experiment?

Is he advocating this or is he just saying like, oh, this is how far it's going to go. This is stupid or bringing an argument to a gun fight. Like this is, this is the, the fall of the the west of democracy of freedom and of our entire way of life is that people are bringing arguments to a gunfight. And this is a perfect fucking example talking about COVID passports, right? Which is he's being sarcastic. Yes. I mean, he seems like it.

Yes. It's an argument that he's making against a very real piece of legislation, which is, well, we're going to have these COVID passports. We got to have, which is, and people like me and people like this guy, a lot of people like, hey, yo, no, no, no, no, that's a huge vibe. That's like a massive violation of freedom. Yeah, well, I can't, but I think the way that it's going to work is all these different, like the airlines are going to go, you need this.

The vlog, you know, like illegal. Yeah, I mean, I guess, I mean, because how much you have to do, you go, you need this. The vlog, like illegal. Yeah, I mean, I guess, I mean, because how much, you know, it's the, when it crosses, when it crosses government funding with, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, can't, you can't do medical records, nope. Yeah, they don't, yeah, somehow the lawyers are gonna make it

where it's like, oh, they have, you release your, your right to hip-hack or something. I don't know. Yeah, exception. Like, well, we're doing it. Yeah, there's always going to be, there's always going to be a way, a way, there's always going to be a loophole. Somebody is going to be able to exploit where it's like, oh, well, but the, oh, yeah, this you signed, it's like, you know, you can, you, you, you owe Apple your first born. Yeah, everybody knows that. I mean, I got to post those cards somewhere because I'm getting fuck, I'm getting real fucking tired of people promoting this vaccine card thing. When, I mean, number one, not everyone got a card

saying that they have it. Oh no. Some people just got jabbed and that's, I mean, also, some people lost that fucking stupid index card. Well, that's, there it goes. Now what? Well, I have to go get re-vaccinated to get another one. No, I think there's, I think there's websites or whatever.

But they don't track everybody's. I don't know if they, almost people getting fucking vaccinated, they don't have one. Well, people don't even know who they are. Yeah. There's some people out there that don't even know who they are. Yeah, exactly. I got, so I got to put the card up there.

You just write down, like everybody posts their cards, you just write down whatever they have, like batch. Oh, a lot, a lot QA, oh four, one. Well, that's gonna be, that was the easiest thing to predict ever, is it like that's, of course, that's gonna be, those are gonna be everywhere. Yeah, so, just wanna be right in front running it. Yeah, sure.

As you would have, if I got it, I would use a fake card. Out of principle. Out of principle. Yeah, sure. A decoy card. But what makes me rage is this, if we have, we may have obesity passports, next like, no, no, no, it's not. If this is an argument to a fucking gun fight, because the way the other law works is,

someone shows up and kills you if you don't follow it. They take your business away or they throw you in prison. You don't bring an argument to that fight. You go, you know what? Obesity thinks too. That's what we're doing. Guys, it's not, oh, you know, well, what if what if there was a COVID passport? What if we were doing it to you? You do it to them. You fucking do it to them. Or you lose, or you lose every single time. These stupid arguments do not work. Yeah. But people are in love with them. I don't know why.

What's the else do I get here? On Terry, oh yeah, gun deaths. Here we go. You interested in that at all? Yeah. I always like, you know, what the, kind of what the numbers are versus kind of what people think. Yeah, me too. It's kind of what the numbers are versus kind of what people think. Yeah, me too.

It's kind of, it's interesting to me. Me too. Oh, especially the, especially the, the police deaths thing. Yeah. Because yeah. Okay, what Americans think is the main cause of gun deaths. They think its suicide is 20%. Murderers is 30%.

Mass shootings 20%. 20%. Yeah, clearly. Okay, that's who the fuck would say? Okay, well, I don't know. I mean, it's, it's what's, you know, what you're seeing all the time covered versus the entire picture. Yeah.

What would you, what would you rate it? Or did you already see the answer? Oh no, I haven't seen the answer. Okay, man. What mass shootings? Yeah, what would you rate those categories answer? Oh no, I haven't seen the answer. Okay, what mass shootings? Yeah, what would you rate those categories? Oh, I don't know. Suicide, murderers, mass shooting, well, they popped up anyway.

Suicides are 60%. Yeah, suicides I would have put number one. Murders, let me, why didn't they just make two pictures? You have to watch it. To watch the fucking animation every time. Murders is about 35%. Okay. So, you know, a lot of the first two. So they're, yeah, mass shootings is absolutely none. Yeah. So they have mass shootings.

This is the takeaway. Well, it's like less than 1% probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have mass shootings. People think that there are more mass shootings. Yeah. Then there are suicides. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody knows someone who's killed themselves. Well, just everybody. Just think about it. It's like something that you don't,

if you think about it for one minute, because a lot of people have guns. Uh-huh. How would you fucking do it? Who's that? Yeah. I mean, how would you do it? You have a gun in the house, probably step in front of a train.

Oh, yeah. You gotta be sure. You know, there's not much chance of surviving that. That's pretty much, if you step in front of a moving train, I'd say that's where are you gonna, what are the train stops and you just get all mangled up?

With a train-spel Jesus. It takes them like a mile to stop. What have they seen you? No, no, no, no, that's what you don't, what do you think of it? I'm a midnight or something. I'm gonna, I'm gonna sit there for 15 minutes on the track, checking, you know, checking to see like

when it's coming by. I give my chance. I'm gonna slow, like if they're doing some kind of maintenance on, sometimes train slow down for long stretch. Yeah, but not immediately. Well, then you don't pick that train. But how would you know if you see it,

what are you gonna have a fucking, oh, you can tell an infrared, like a speed gun. Trains like a train, that's 15, I'm a hubbub. They're like a million tons. I know, but what if it's not moving that fast? You're gonna end up like crippled Jesus. No. Oh man, I'm dead.

I don't know. No, it's gonna get you. It'll do the job, trust me. I've tested, I feel tested. It'll test it? Yeah, with like a pump, a pump. Notice we have a lot of fear homeless people around. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, more mass shootings than suicide. America, you need to, you need to get some brains. To educate yourself. Just to think some brains. Need to educate yourself. Just to think about it. Just think about it. Just think about it for a second. More mass shootings and suicides.

Have you, well, maybe that's true because everyone probably has thought about killing themselves as much as they have thought about going on a mass shooting. Yeah, right? I mean, is that accurate? Like, I thought, probably, I was like, oh yeah, okay, probably thought about that every day.

Yeah, I probably thought about that every day too. Yeah, right, if you ask people, like how often did you think about Suzan, okay? How often do you think about going on a mass shooting? Right. Not for real, but you know, it's like sending in your mind. Wishing that you could.

Yeah. Wishing that somebody would. Everybody wants to, you know, have the be Michael Douglas, you know, now and again. Yeah, I mean, you just Everybody wants to have to be Michael Douglas, now and again. Yeah, I mean, you just, you know, fuck it. Just fuck it. Accidental shootings.

And then of course, our favorite, that don't know, crew, down 3%. Yeah, way to be irrelevant. Oh, this is the main cause. Okay, so the main cause, this is main cause that they voted on. As many people said, main cause of gundets is mass shootings as suicide.

That's phenomenal. Good job, everybody. All right, let's get this out of here. Here is the confusion between yams and sweet potatoes. Is racist okay? What? Yeah, that's racist. Well, because yams come from a different area,

are yams from Asia? I have no idea. Fully vaccinated baseball fans, oh, Dodger Stadium opened a vaccinated section. Oh, right. So you could spit in each other's mouths and... Yeah. I can't hear your vaccines.

Yeah, I knew they were gonna do the abs. Cause they, what's great? God, I mean, at least for that, for that Dr. Fans. And mass shooting and suicide in balls, pretty much the same. Go ahead. Because Dodger Stadium is,

it's still, it's the biggest ballpark in the majors. Like baseball, yeah, yeah, yeah. Baseball seats like 56,000. Yeah, most of the newer ones, cause usually it's, you know, that's a lot of seats to, you know, to fill, but So most of them are like 40, 40, 5,000, but yeah, but they're opening day, you know They've had like 15, 16,000 there for which compared to like, you know, staple center

Which is because it's one it's outdoor two it's huge, but staple centers indoor holds like 18,000 I think they have like two thousand there. Yeah, yeah. So it was our 18, 19,000 for basketball. This is great. I hope that they keep this forever. A vaccinated section for idiots. Fully vaccinated baseball fans won't have to maintain social distancing this week. A dodged stadium. The Dodgers reigning world's series champion is designated two sections of their 56,000 seat stadium for fully vaccinated attendees starting Saturday. Is this not as funny as I think it is, like setting aside two fucking sections for if you have a flu shot, I guess so you can go in bigger group.

I don't know how they're doing the seating right now as far as like, you know, if you go as a family, can you have a seat together? Guests from different households will be seated next to each other. I see. Masks will still be required. Yeah, yeah, yeah, required. Yeah, except for, but you're going to eat the whole game. Well, right between bites.

Yeah, you got to put that, put that baby on fully vaccinated baseball fans won't have to maintain. Yeah,ated to, oh, I, I paced it twice. Good job. Well, what are you going to do? I hope they have it forever, like a vaccinated section of the bus. I hope they don't. Well, world, you were in hell. Of course, they're going to have it forever. We're in hell before. No, no, this is hell. We're in hell now. It's just a different degree of hell. Oh, let's see here. Ontario gender training. Father of Ontario sent me a 30 minute audio recording that is his grade seven child, that his grade seven child recorded of a gender lesson given to the class. Oh, he's going to get sued for copyright infringement, right? Yeah, I do want to.

Should be. Yeah. Okay, let's see. I like what they're, I like to know what they're teaching the kids. Yeah. The worst teachers start off with his name and his preferred pronouns. Teachers start off with his name and his preferred pronouns. Dude, if I would have been a kid in this day and age, I'd be shot by cops. Can you imagine it man teacher coming in? My preferred pronouns are he and him. I was just like, Hey, guys, check this out. I'm going to principal's office today.

It's so getting expelled today. It's so weird. It's I just can't imagine it. No, I know, that's where, yeah, I just, it's always going to seem alien to me. My dog has been inside all week because of the cuff, can't take her around. And you can see her brain's short circuiting.

She tore apart the hamper. Like, yeah, I'm sorry, but, you know, we can take you on runs, but you just can't go to the park. Yeah. And do normal, do the things we can take you on runs, but you just can't go to the park. Yeah and Do normal do the things that you want to do people don't realize melting down people don't realize that with dogs They it the mental stimulation tires them out just being in a different area seeing other dogs It's not even the playing my point is if you if I was a kid having to sit through a he-him Pronoun presentation. Oh, you would be Columbine times a million. Oh, there would be-

I would take out the whole school. Oh yeah, no, I know exactly how you would be. I would be. You couldn't possibly, you couldn't take that seriously for a nanoseconds. Oh, I'm going to do the worst thing I possibly can with these pronouns. He's him. Yeah. Okay. We'll see about that. This is not their normal teacher. He's been brought

in, but he knows a few of these 12 year olds from the school's QSA, the queer, straight alliance. What? Is this? How old is this? 12. 12? So he's like in junior high. Is that junior high? Yeah. Yeah. That's like, you know, like seventh grade, something like that here, right?

Yeah. He's going to talk about the many complexities involved the gender identity. So when you're born, the Queer Straight Alliance. The Queer Straight Alliance. The Queer Straight Alliance. What's up? Queer Straight Alliance. I'm in the QSA. Dad adds up.

So if you're not in that, James Bond, he, him. Yeah. I'm in the QSA. Right. So if you're not what? So if you're not in that, do you get looked at as like, oh, maybe they might be a big it of some sort or they're big it. I mean, yeah, can you just opt out?

Yeah, like I'm cool with all the rights and stuff of like gay people, lesbians, trans, all that kind of stuff, but like I just don't feel like going to meetings. You know, does things are a big thing for me? Yeah, I'm not doing Zoom calls. So you guys are going to have to look for other straight. Is that is the queer straight alliance something just in that school or is that like an actual movement among schools or just in can this in Ontario, Canada? Is that does a queer straight beat of royal homo? There's a dynamite follow up joke in there somewhere, and I'm just not seeing it.

That's probably the funniest thing I've ever said. It was funny. That whole time you were talking, I was waiting to do that joke. I thought of it right away. Yeah, it was funny. It was really funny. That's the punishment that I have. Yeah.

It was so funny that I tried to finish it. Because people don't, you know, people don't know the other one. Yeah. Yeah. You okay. Oh, good God. Thank God we got through that.

I need to cigarette after that one. Yeah, right. So when you're born, the guy says, the queer straight line is going. The doctor looks at you and he'll tell your parents, congratulations, you have a daughter or son. That's great. So your male or female, but there's also a third option,

which is called intersex. Well, three seems very limiting. Doesn't it mean, let let's get algebra figured out. Right. Right. Right. I mean, you don't know. Is it a third option?

That's kind of bigoted. That's like saying all of those intersects are one option. That should be, there's a, you mean there's a, what I'm saying. There's an infinity of options. Three through infinity. That can be labeled or not as intrusects. Bigot can't believe they would let this right wing bigot teach kids to live her children.

Yeah, meaning you're born with the reproductive organs of both male and why are, why are public schools like talking about sex? Well, I mean, but that's like a biological thing. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I don't know that that's true. Meaning you're born with the reproductive organs of both. Well, yeah, that can happen. That can happen.

Yeah, that can happen. I mean, that's like a medical thing. Like, I mean, Oh, God, fucking dammit. I got this fucking popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. Yeah. And I know it's from a kettle corn kernel, which makes it way worse.

Now, how do you know that? Because my fucking girlfriend got because you make the kettle corn and not regular. She only makes kettle corn now. And somehow you can't make a kettle corn. Yeah. Oh, right. And sugar into the thing. So it's even worse. Yeah. Because it's the best kind of kettle corn. Oh, God. Boy, you don't have a chance. I hate kettle corn. Not anymore. No, I do.

I still hate it. But it's sitting there just like, and it smells like popcorn. Yeah, I hate eating it. Yeah. I don't even like this. Why am I eating it? I hate it.

Meaning that you're born. Now, as we've learned over the last 20 years, there's a lot of identities that exist between the male and female identity. Some of those include non-binary, was 20 years that we've learned that? I think there's been little fucking, yeah, whatever going on.

I think it's been longer than that. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, it's, and it's, yeah, it's been, I mean, Athena exists. Yeah. Some of the others include non-binary, gender fluid, gender mean, Athena exists. Yeah. Some of the others include non-binary, gender fluid, gender queer, non-conforming, or it's, oh my God, and you're 12 just sitting here like fucking steam shooting out of your ears and going to suck it, I go to sleep.

So this is part of the lesson. A super fun video begins. Some Archaic adult, Uncle Jay is talking and he gets corrected because he doesn't know if Alex is a boy or girl. Woman, actually Alex doesn't define Alex is a boy or girl. Woman, actually Alex doesn't define themselves as a boy or girl. Uncle Jay, what else is there? I don't know, like reading, using the right,

using the right version of effect and effect, not saying literally so much, not starting sentences with so, that's what else there is to be talking about at school. Like the basics of rationality and critical thinking, forming a hypothesis, finding data to support the hypothesis, ah, comes razor. The simplest explanation that removes the most variables is, assuming the correct one. So you're not a sucker for every fucking, well, flat earth, yeah, well, you know, it could

be a fucking dial that moves around. There's a big ice wall and hundreds of thousands of people are in on this gigantic scam, or it's, you know, just a bunch of molecules floating around. Like, that's a pretty simple explanation. Yeah. Shithead. Uh-huh. Where did I get to? Progressive man, back in your day, most people understood the world in terms of just boys

and girls, but now we know gender is more complex than that. Oh, now he's silly, Uncle Jay. Wait, wasn't he Uncle Jay a minute ago? Wait, aren't we just lasting about whether you're born with a, or a hee hee, are you fucking kidding me? If you can't say penis or vagina, you're not ready to learn about gender dysphoria. No, I don't think so. So which is it?

Right. When you're born, your sex is assigned in a medical way, but the sex listed on your birth certificate may not necessarily match your job. Oh God. Okay, whatever. I do you are you interested in more of this? I mean, you kind of know what they're gonna say, right? I do. Yeah. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Teacher, and we have a queer straight alliance in your school, not all schools have that.

And oftentimes in places that are in smaller towns, we find that, okay, I don't care. Ah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. How about that, Eric? What a mesh. Isn't that amazing? That is amazing. Now, he's going out of his way to look like shit.

Doesn't, yeah, but he thinks that's good, presumably. Does nobody just go, hey, you know what would be great? You know, just kind of fool him into getting a hair style. I don't think he's married. Uh oh. He's banging horse. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what to do in support horse. Yeah, I don't think he's married. Uh oh. He's banging horse. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what he's doing.

I don't think he's married. He's a very strange guy. Aidenpool, you're not gonna talk about these comments. You're not gonna talk about April 24th, TikTok coined that April 24th is international rape day. What? And three out of my five high school teachers have warned students to be vigilant.

Yesterday was international rape day I didn't do any raping? What the hell? I gotta wait till. Fuck. Be vigilant. You had to do any raping? What the hell? I got to wait till fuck be vigilant. This is when they all come out. Right? I mean, like, say Patrick's Day. Yeah.

What the fans of rapists? Yeah. And I'm leading the way. Sorry, sorry, sorry, everybody's all right. Fucking rapist's out of control. You charged them up. You called it rape day. You should have called it sexual assault day.

That's a boner killer, but you called it rape day. It's really called, what in the U.S. Just on TikTok. I don't know. This person says he could be full of it. One even said they would be making their daughters stay home all day for her own safety. What the fuck?

Keep that bitch home. Is this real? It's a real comment that the guy said, I don't know if it's real. Hey, Dick, if this gets read on the show, oh, I was listening to the podcast, I typed this for the first time, and not to call you a profitor, anything.

Low and behold, someone attempting murder gets killed and that's still too far. Oh yeah, that woman that's at fat woman that's stabbed or that kid. They try to stab another kid and then hop shot the kid. Right. No, that cop and jail. It's once again, perfect system.

The murder, the violent felon gets killed. Cop goes to jail. Yeah. Everybody gets freesh and target gets harmed. This is the perfect fucking system. Stop fighting it. And big brands get looted for 72 hours. That's the system.

What's so hard to understand about that? A violent felon gets killed. A cop goes to prison and a big box store is financially harmed. And then they get to do, actually, they're helped. Because they get to do fucking PR about it. Every big box PR department is like, oh God, please hit our store.

Please hit the target. Crock, call, call, call. That's just saying, please hit the fucking calls. That one seems pretty fucking justified, right? I mean, I don't give a shit. I don't want cops coming and playing target practice. I don't give a shit. Yeah, right. What happens in the city?

Yeah. I don't fucking care. Fair enough. I don't want to pay a single cop. I don't want to pay cops to go prevent crimes. How about that? Yeah, right. The crime happened or it didn't?

Well, what if it's in the middle of happening? Well, has it happened or not? It just happened. I don't take my car to the mechanic and go, hey, can you stop any problems from happening? Yeah. Yeah, sure. It'll cost about $50 million. I'll need your car for 10 years.

Right. Just to be sure. Start it up every day. See if there's any potential problems. Yeah. Tending cops. Well, what if, just look at the one fucking, one fucking rule that I set up here,

if a crime, when a crime happens, you show up and file a bunch of papers. That's your job. I mean, that's, uh, That's your job. That's an overwhelming portion of the job. What if we see a crime in the middle of happening? What about this?

You're fired. You're lucky I don't send you to jail for that fucking question. Hmm. How much of the cops allowed to do then? Wait until after the murder happens and arrest the person? Yes. Hmm.

Yeah. Where you can have the system you have now? This is the one that you made with all these guessing games and mind reading. Well, she's, you know, attacking. All right. Have fun in jail. What's so hard about that?

That's great. You stopped your murder. Now you could go and jail. Stop. Now you could go be fucking Batman in prison. I'm sure there's lots of stabbing stuff happening there. Go ahead, John Wayne. Put a stop to all the questions.

I don't think anything's gonna happen to that cop. You don't? I don't think so. I don't know. I have a new world, buddy. I haven't looked into that story that much. Yeah, I don't know. It's a new world.

New world. New World. The definitions that you have in your mind are not reflected by reality. Yeah, well, or the way that it's going. Mm-hmm. You know, because it's, yeah, people are getting a little, getting a little crazy, emotional laws and such. Mm-hmm.

I'm trying to get this fucking popcorn going around in my mouth very quickly. You need a, yeah, you need a something. I got it. Oh my God. I'm a fucking frame this fucking popcorn kernel out of my mouth. You need a, yeah, you need a, uh, something. I got it. Oh my God. I'm a fucking frame it. Oh boy. Yes. How do I stick this in your teeth?

Eat it again. Save you get it down. All right. Yeah, save you get it. It's gross for some reason. Yeah, well, you know, I don't know. Cause it's been food sitting in your mouth for like a day. Yeah.

Well, I shouldn't have done that. All right. Let's get Taylor and, oh Well, I shouldn't done that. All right. Let's get Taylor and, oh man, I got a great sperm donor story. Oh, really? Oh, okay. All righty. All right.

We are ready. Am I ready? Do I need another Coke? I think I need another Coke. Yeah. Let me get, I'm gonna turn the AC on in the hopes that it will somehow affect Taylor through the. Oh, I see. Okay. Oh, yeah. What happens with when it's a mom and a pop? Well, here's the thing. All right.

What's that? What are you reading? They're saying, well, what happens if it's a mom and a pop shop getting a tat? Look, if someone like defending their, if someone defending their shit kills somebody, everyone's very forgiving. Like, well, you know, it's different. It's different than some guy showing up who's trained for any possible eventua, a guy of a guy being paid a small amount of money and being trained for every possible violence situation.

Like somebody, somebody who's shit it is knows when their shit is being taken. Do you know what I, oh no, here, here, it's my dad's summed it up perfectly. He's like, he goes like, oh, he said about George Floyd. He said, oh yeah, I hope they disband the cops. And then that, that's the order, it could have beat his brains out. I fucking hate it when people tried to pass counterfeits

at the store, because he had, he was in restaurants, he's like those motherfuckers would try that all the time. And every single time I wanted to beat their brains. I got a whole, I mean, I get it. I mean, you know, you're out whatever the bill was. Yeah. And it's the disrespect. What were you gonna say?

I think there's a lot more scared cops. Yeah. Then there used to be, and I think it's because they're not immune to all the fucking headlines and sensational shit too. I think that that fucks with their psychology. Oh, yeah. So it's like, I think they think it's a lot more dangerous just on a given call than it really is.

Everyone needs to change the definition of what they think a police officer is and it is not preventing crime. It is showing up, filling out paperwork, which is fine. You can hunt them down after the fact, so if somebody's doing a whole bunch of, well, we're throwing you in prison, and then that deterrent will stop other people or not,

but that's what it is. It's all a fucking giant cesspool of incompetence and knee jerk reactions. Okay. Let me make sure I have this video. Yeah. You make sure you have this video. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I don't know if I can broadcast a video have I tried to do that before. Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mmmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm- on the live cam. Perfect. Okay.

I'm gonna try to, I think I have to cover your tits up while I do this where I'm not gonna be able to do it. Cam, yes, yes, yes, two, three. Oh, Sean, you're too big. You get me out of there just entirely. Ha, ha, ha. Ah, all right.

They're posting that wolf cartoon in the... Oh, the Ouka horn or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Window capture, that doesn't work. You know, I swear to God, I really, I know how to do this, but I just totally forgot. I'm not joking.

Don't worry, don't worry. Thank you. Oh, there. Okay. Thank God. All right. Good job, dude. Rough start. Oh, you can see it too. So you can, you can see yourself on your video feed, right? Yeah. I think I'm centered, you know, all good. And you know, so you can see how difficult it is for us to concentrate on your end. Okay, sports retailer. Hi, will you please introduce yourself to people who don't know where to find you, and then we can get to the news?

Sure. Hi, I'm sports retailer. I'm 22 and I'm from Dublin and Ireland and I'm an only fans content creator. So yeah, you can find me on Twitter and Omi fans, Redis, just started TikTok and Instagram, but still more people on Twitter. I just started to TikTok too for my dog. Did you? Yeah, I'm going to put peanut butter in her mouth and have her like answer questions. See if that.

Maddie, so cute. Everyone go check that out. So I'm what I've done here, you're like a fucking evil genius. What's evil about that? I'm going to get in my right wing talking points to dog and dog. Okay. Yeah, very good. What I've done here is really remarkable today, Sean. I've I've reduced. Oh, let's, okay. Let's all, let's all take a moment to, to stand in awe of what's about to come out of his mouth.

I've reduced the news delivery to its purest form. I see. Which is just Taylor. Taylor, I'm describing. So if some people are just listening to this show, stupid is that is. It is just a, it is a shot of your of your torso and you're absolutely phenomenal breasts in a sports bra and nothing above the neck. See, that's what that's where the news screws up. That's what I, that's because that's

what I, that's what I want. Like even in, even in the news, I'm tempted to look at a woman's eyes while she's delivering the news, right? I've removed that temptation for you, for people. Uh huh. That's why with Taylor's app, okay, Taylor, can you, can you, can you read her first news? What a humanitarian. Thank you. Absolutely. Boyfriend who dated 35 women and told each one he had a different birthday, so he regularly received gifts has been arrested for fraud in Japan.

So Takashi Migo Yawa, 39, was arrested in Japan for allegedly defrauding 35 women. The serial data met his victims while working for marketing companies selling hydrogen, water shower heads, and other products. You reportedly targeted single women and began each relationship with the suggestion that marriage would be on the cards. He also told each woman that his person would fall on a different day of the year. So the women eventually banded together in February and reported him to police. And yeah, that's it.

The investigation continues. But like 32 of them were real dolls, right? I don't know. Because it's Japan and I forget it. He staggered his birthdays. Did you get that part? Yeah. Right, so he's got a bunch of gifts.

In August? Well, yeah, but he didn't make them. I mean, I don't know. What a genius. Was it worth it? I'm not sure. Depends on the gifts. I read it was only 600 pounds of gifts that he got.

600 pounds of gifts, you know, dollars, like pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's in Japan. So did you read a British article? Yeah, yeah. Kind of cheap. Women, you know well it's in Japan. So did you read a British article? Is that yeah, yeah kind of cheap women now total who's he yeah 35 35 women? What's that like 20 bucks a gift?

It's not very much. Oh 40 bucks. Yeah, it's pounds, right? Yeah, I just Yeah, I need to promise them marriage to get that so yeah, Yeah, well, we all have to do that all the time. I don't know if you're, I imagine it. We're just money. No, it's both. It's always gotta be, oh yeah, marriage is on the table. Trust me, it's on the table at some point. I imagine you get a lot of proposals.

Yes. Yeah. What's, what have been the goofiest ones? Well, if they try and offer you camels or cows, I think that would be the weirdest. Really? Yeah, like in my dowry, you know. Has anyone ever done that to you? Oh, yeah, they definitely try.

You get, you get weird messages. I mean, I'm not averse to it, but it's definitely not my idea of romance. A bunch of camels and cows. It's wrong with that. It could be like you, cheeks or whatever. I mean, it was like billionaires. What's your idea of romance? True. Oh, maybe like an island. You mean only a mere island of like a private island? Like a private island. As a present or just like a gallery. Why not a planet? Why stop at a right?

Yeah, true. I mean, I'm thinking small. You know, you can have a star named after you. Yeah, would that be your own answer? Would you like a star? Yeah. It is romantic, but I feel like, you know, are you ever going to actually see the star that yours?

I love how people can sell something they don't own. I mean, that's the funniest thing to me, right? I have a star named after you. It's like, what the fuck? So a private island, I think I could swing that. Yeah, what would you, what kind of like, a sand bar? Yeah, it's like a cooler full of, like a private island with no build out, just a beach, maybe a cooler full of lunchables and IPAs, zucchini app tolls where they did all the nuclear

testing. Yeah, I pick one of them up. Yeah, you'd be into that. Maybe as long as it doesn't turn into like lost, you know, then I'm fine with it. Oh, like we don'm kind of a mom. We don't have like a plane crash. So Dick was counting on. Yeah, that would be my move.

Oh, this risk is so malfunctioning. Oh shit. Okay, what's the next one, please? David Hogg resigns from progressive MyPillow competitor. Hogg said he stepped down from GoodPillow, intended to rival staunch Trump supporter Mike Lindell's company to focus on his college studies and gun control activism. In February, Hog announced he was working with software developer William Legate and that the pair would prove Progressives can make a better pillow, run a better business and help make the world a better place while doing it. I mean

What's not to love? I get I'm totally mesmerized by your sits. Can you believe that, Tom? Couldn't get it done. I believe anything. Yeah, I can believe anything. I had faith in David Hogg. Yeah. I can be able to deliver a pillow. There will be a great pillow war between the conservatives and the fucking Liberals. Yeah. They'd have a big pillow fight. And they could just suffocate

each other. And we'd all be done with it. Right. Right? What were you saying before we started about the, what's the word for not hating? You know, I wish they would die. I wish they would die. And you just, you mean the human grace?

Yeah, mom. Yeah. You know, I don't hate you, but I just wish you all would died. Taylor, do you have a word for that? Very healthy show in Irish. Is there a word for that emotion? Yeah, in Ireland. There's a phrase that we teach everyone, poke my own.

It just means kiss my ass. Yeah, like the post post. Pokemon. Right? Like that's where the naked from the post. Kisses, the meat kisses, but I'm sure just kiss my ass. Yeah. Taylor, do you have any interest in getting into the pillow game? I guess you kind of

already are. Get it? Sean. I get it. Oh my God, you're touching him. Okay, you know, I had I tricked Taylor into an interview for this job, like a 30 minute conversation, zoom conversation. This one. Hey, that's the depth, that's the depths of my depravity. Yeah. Sean, pretty impressive. Yeah.

Where are you? Taylor, were you worried you might not be qualified to come on this show? No, I just thought he might be a psychopath, you know, just double checking. Double checking that he is a psychopath. Yeah, exactly. Definitely a psychopath. Okay, what's the next one?

Dad who forced daughter to sign and never get fat contract is jailed. So Rashid Cadla 56 was branded a tyrant as jurors heard how he subjected his children to weekly weigh-ins. The fitness fanatic ordered his only daughter, Amira, to sign a document in 2012 which said, I will never let myself get fat. I will do lots of exercise to make sure I will never be fat, even if I die. Was she underage? He also strived my son, Hitchum, the court heard, and through a plastic chair at Amira's

head when she was just nine years old. So sentencing him on Friday, the judge described him as a bully andham, the court heard, and through a plastic chair at Amira's head when she was just nine years old. So sentencing him on Friday, the judge described him as a bully and said, having heard from your wife and children, it is clear what a relief it is to have you removed from the family. Well, what country is this? I'm not sure, but what's striking is some not be slightly more serious than asking his daughter not to get fat. What the hell? I'm not sure.

You're wondering. and asking his daughter not to get that. I'm just kidding. What a house. I'm not sure if that was like just thrown in there, but. You're wondering why that's not the headline. Like a man strangles his son versus a man made his daughter sign a contract saying she would work out. Right. Well, yeah. It's a demographic. Yeah, and it's it's when. Yeah.

Well, I gotta know what country that's in. Probably India. I don't know. I mean, the name is somewhere Middle Eastern, maybe. Huh. I don't know. I have my women don't have rights there. Yeah, women don't have any rights in the Middle East.

That's true. I don't think it's. It wouldn't be a problem. Yeah, good point. I think it's America. Just don't, you just don't feed them. Yeah, just make them go outside and go, go eat rocks. Oh, Jesus. I used to stop mat the dog from eating rocks. I gotta be really right on top of it, but I'm a fucking teeth, man. I look like a junkie with all of the, oh yeah, that's what I've got in my forearms. Now when I see her, you're like, oh no, stop. Does she literally eat the rocks? Just like chewing on them, tasting in my guess.

Yeah, I don't know what she's doing. Okay, Taylor, what's the next one, please? Teacher who got drunk and took students to a strip club on a school trip is banned for three years. So teacher who got drunk with pupils and took them to a strip club while on a trip to Costa Rica has been banned from teaching for three years? Richard Glenn who taught IT at Long Bridge, Tower School, in Burwick upon Tweed, that sounds so fake, sorry. Also, Tretton's student in the exposed itself to a woman in his hotel

room. His behavior was seen to be so unacceptable that he sent home Ernie from the trip. Oh, they sent him on from Costa Rica early. Oh, God. I love the, what was that? Cops. Three years. Costa Rica, is that what you said? Three, three years? Oh, is that the Irish accent?

Yeah, the Irish accent. Yeah, the THS are usually not there for like three or something. Um, wow, that guy had quite a vacation. But you have a, she has a very light accent to me. Yeah, why is that? Like very light. I don't know. I mean, I was saying to, to Dick before, I think I just kind of copy people I'm around. So in Dublin, there's such a mix.

She was this like a bad guy. I just, yeah. Yeah, I just like copy people that I'm around. So then I sound different no matter where I am. And I guess, yeah, where I guess my parents don't have strong accent. So maybe that's why either. Yeah. Okay.

Not from the north, the strongest accent. Sure. Sure. Yeah. I've been to Dublin. You've been to Dublin, yeah. Where did you, did you see Taylor there? Yeah. I did not, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, possibly. Do the women look like her in Dublin? Is that, yeah, well, like she said, there's people from all over. So it's, yeah, I mean, Dublin's a great city, man. You've got those muscles in your abdomen that, every time you laugh, that like, I don't know what are the obliques

right there on the sides on the sides. I think they're my ribs actually. Oh, are there your ribs? Okay, well, it gets like that even more. Yeah. Okay, what's the next? Muscle ribs, he'll tell the ribs. I make you sign a contract. Okay, can you read the next one, please? Yeah. A rested Florida capital writer Kenneth Kelly thought he was breaking into White House. A Florida amount arrested in the capital riot appeared to believe that he and other patriots were storming the White House on January 6th. Kenneth Kelly, 58 of O'Cala, referred to the Capitol building as the White House in two

text messages sent to a relative. According to the two text messages, no, according to the affidavit by an unnamed special agent with the FBI inside White House, the breaking in windows, Kelly Rose in one text alongside an image that showed him inside what appears to be the US Capitol building. Well, you know, easy mistake. Aren't they all white? Yeah, you've seen it about a thousand times. Those poor guys those poor

Capital hell, you know, he was just trying to send a message Can't they make like a thing like a pretend capital building that you can go riot a decoy capital bill Yeah, get it all out of your system. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just do all the I feel so much better Get out of the capital do all the government stuff on zoom and just let people mess it up You know, we turn into like a skatepark. There you go What do you think yeah sure? Okay, what's next? I? Know we've got a pigeon art to investigate go ahead export of over 7000 refrigerated peanut penises to China.

The Nigerian House of Representatives has resolved to investigate alleged illicit trade on human organs between Nigeria and China. Resolution was a sequel to a unanimous adoption of emotion by Riem Wandoi, Queewum, and co-sponsored by Ola Gide, Ola Tubosan, at plenary on Thursday. That is a mouthful.

Moving the motion earlier, Mr. Kuyum said, about two weeks ago, Chinese authorities seized a cargo ship that sailed from Nigeria with 7,200 refrigerated penises. According to him, they were found in 36 boxes labeled as plantain on the ship. He said the Chinese General Administration of Customs had alerted that an increasingly large number of armed groups in Africa used organs which were harvested in unsanitary conditions to finance their nefarious activities. That financing. Harvested in unsanitary conditions?

I don't know if they can do, I mean, who get in there, fucking, desktop? Is that the problem? Yeah, the unsanitary or is it the dick chopping? Did I, did I zone out during that article? I think with the government. Oh, no, you got it right. No, they're trafficking, they're trafficking penises, frozen penises.

Right. To finance their illicit activities. And what's even worse is apparently they're like frying them up and serving them as a side dish because they're labeled plantains. So I got mixed up. Yeah. Oh shit.

Um, I don't believe that. It's even worse. I don't believe the, I don't believe our government. I believe the Nigerian government less. If they're, if they're telling people that seventh that thousands of illegal penises are being transported to China to fund, what sort of a terrorist group is being funded by refrigerated penises?

I don't know. China's into penises though. They are. They are, they like tiger penises, they like, you know, there's all kinds, it's always good for, it comes down to like, you know, a virility. It's a whole country in search of virility.

Is there, I don't wanna, you know, get into a racial territory, but is there some kind of, like, what am I saying? Like a souvenir novelty aspect? Is there African penises? They hang them from their rear view mirror. Yeah, it's, I think. Maybe.

Do they smell nice then? Is that like an air freshener? Yeah. What's up, not? It can smell worse. Right. God. Okay.

Is that, what else you got, Taylor? So I think this is the last one. And Caitlin Jenner, reality star announced plan to contest for California governor. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let me explain. This is the pigeon one. So, this is like a dialect. Okay.

This is a dialect that's supposed to be read phonetically. And it sounds like, it sounds like Madame Clio. I don't know why they invented this. But for some reason, they posted online for us to make fun of. Yeah. Yeah, this is from the BBC. So go ahead. OK, I'll do my best. The current governor Gavin Newsom don

receive plenty criticism for the way in the handle of the pandemic. And as the infections start to fall, business owners still they criticize for enforcing restrictions. They could ask voters if they want to use them to stay or another candidate. If this recall election go ahead,

Ego Bidi fourth governor, recall for the history of US of US. According to the Axios news site, Madame Jenner, Don put together one team, way includes some of former president Donald Trump advisors. Californians want beta and deserve beta from the governor, Caitlin Jenner, top for her recent statement.

For too long career politicians don't over promise and underdelivered. We need leader with division and resolve to see. See, see, see, leader with balls. She add this hard. Caitlin Jenner promises say her campaign, go be one of solutions and provide roadmap back to prosperity to turn this state around. Yes. I'm under state around. Yes. I'm under a national dislike.

Woo. We're going to transition this state. Oh God, I love it. I love it. Madam governor. I never thought I would say this regarding a pigeon article, but she read that way too well. That was incredible.

It was. It was read so well. It wasn't even funny. Nothing. It's not funny. That Caitlin Jenner is running. that's a layer on a Republican ticket. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty great.

Oh, God, you go, girl, I love it. I'll vote for her. You know, I played golf with her when she was Bruce Jenner. Or she. That's a lady. Yeah. See, is 100% a lady. You played golf with Bruce Jenner. Or she. That's a lady. Yeah. See, is a hundred percent of that. You played golf with Bruce Jenner. Yeah. How did you know? Did you see anything

weird about a swing that would tell you? Oh, it was a year ago. It was like 20 plus year. Yeah, but he's probably been a whole life. Steve Garvey, the baseball player and Bruce Jenner. What the hell? Yeah. What were you doing playing golf with all these superstars. We had a pro-am? No. They actually were this place down on the desert. We used to play at, I knew the, like the starter, and he thought it would be a kick to pair my dad and I up with it was like, it was like, I they were down on the desert, just hanging out or whatever it was right before.

What am I looking at you for? I need to be looking at this. Right before the OJ. Before the OJ trial, and they just, they paired my dad and I up with, with Garvey and Jenner was fucking, it was cool, a shit. Taylor, they're asking in the chat. They're asking to know how big your tits are.

Is that something that you give out? They can ask me on my own, they founds. I'm not gonna out there. Okay. Go, so go to, where, what is your only fans that they can that they can go ask you at again sports broughtay but if you search sports broughtay you'll find me and just go on Twitter if you're unsure and you want to see what I'm like first and you can get to it from there. Okay now are you are you tall I'm just trying to. Five, three, so no.

On the average petite side. That's perfect. No matter what you would have said, it would have been, that's perfect. And what, your top 1% on Only Fans? Yes, yeah. That's incredible. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me as well. Yeah. Speaking to you guys, what is, uh, what is it like being a top one percenter on only fans?

Hmm. Um, it's pretty crazy. It's been a wild ride. I only started it in August last year. So, um, yeah, the growth has been pretty insane and, um, been just working hard. I suppose. And yeah, enjoying the growth, it's been really rewarding. Yeah, I bet a lot of people are enjoying the growth. Join the growth. I'm a puttum fun. Ha ha ha ha.

And have you ever been recognized? Oh my God, you're laughing again. Have you ever been recognized? I know, you don't show your face. No, actually. No. You don't ever show your face. Yeah.

No. Oh God, that's got to drive people and saying, yeah. I think it's good. I think it adds to the mystery. I think it's good. Oh, it's great. Yeah, but it's still got to be, I'm going to be thinking all day. No, no, it's fucking with my head.

Do you tell people like what celebrity you look like or do you think like that? No, no one's really asked me that. It's a good question. I don't think I have an answer. Oh. Because you know she's pretty. It's just what does she look like? I know that she's beautiful, Sean.

Yeah. Don't even let's not say that. That's what I just said. What about any anime characters? Do people tell you that your face look like a certain anime, wife-o that they have or anything like that? No, I mean, they just tell me about my boobs, you know?

They just want to talk about the main events. They come to me for... Do you want to read some advice with us? People write in with stupid advice questions and we read them and give them terrible advice. Do you want to stick around for them? Go ahead. Okay.

Viny. Viny, moving on from my ex, gonna try to keep this short. I tried dating a girl in school around 2011. She shot me down hard. Same girl hits me up early mid 2020, and we start smashing. Find out my feelings are still there,

and then she ghosts me the day before Christmas, poor guy. Thought I'd moved on as I hooked up with two other chicks. However, the girl kept creeping into my mind. Cut a lot of details out of this, but that's the gist of the story. How do I move on and forget this girl, or should I try hitting her back up? Thanks for any advice and go fuck yourself. How do I move on and forget this girl or should I try hitting her back up?

Thanks for any advice and go fuck yourself. PS can situation is 32 double D. Yeah, well, obviously, I think we know the answer is what to hit her back up immediately. You think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, with like dick picks and everything. Just straight in. Does that how many of those you get? I'm sensing some sarcasm. I thought it was like great advice, you know, this what you're missing. Yeah, no, quite a few, but dick ratings is, you know, a popular thing in Findham anyway, so I actually find it quite fun.

I'm sorry, Findham. Financial domination. Do you do that? Oh. Little bit. A you do that? Oh. Little bit. A little bit. Oh my God. How does that work?

Financial domination. Yeah. Well, they basically spend all their money on aghadas like me. Like buying you. And do what they're told. Buying you sports bras and stuff like that. Yeah, exactly. Oh wow. Okay, exactly. Oh, wow.

Okay. So dick pics. Yeah, full front full assault. This guy get back with the X. What do you think, Sean? Yeah, sure. Yeah, go for it. Yeah.

Hey, dick, getting Vax blocked. Don't read my name. I need your help. My sister, fat, canned situation, not good. Sorry, man. This is getting married this summer and wants to have her wedding in Cancun. It was nice of her. Yeah. to have her wedding in Cancun. It was nice of her.

Make everybody fly out to Cancun. Justination weddings. You don't want to be the case. You're lucky. I'm going to cut this short. You don't want to be there anyway. Yeah, you don't want to be there. I'm looking forward to this as I haven't really gone out or gotten laid since before lockdown

when I broke up with my ex. You would have broken up during lockdown anyway. I think it would be a great opportunity to score with some of her lonely single friends that I know will be there after a year of working from home and jerking off into a towel. Interesting. Uh-oh. Later.

Oh. She split. Oh, here, internet went down. Well, okay, there we go. So the problem is she expects everyone attending to be vaccinated. Yeah, sure. Something which I will not do to spite her specifically

for making medical demands of me. That's funny. Well, being the size of a German playboy model. No, very true. Yeah. I'm worried. Now, that's gonna happen a lot. People what?

I mean, you know, I'm not gonna be your vaccine. Yeah, yeah, that's gonna happen. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of family. It's gonna cause a lot of, a lot of problems. Yeah, but, you know, yeah, you know, it's, it's every, dude, at the end of the, it's, it's your choice

and it should be your choice. I'm worried that even if she doesn't expect me to prove it, that I won't be able to travel anyway, as our country is spiraling into a totalitarian event horizon from which there's no escape. And I just wanna get laid before Bill Gates forcibly microchips me and removes my sex drive forever. That's a good, that's a valid concern.

Right, right, that's, yeah. I'm not one to ask for your favors, but I need a fake vaccine card, badly. If you have the, oh, he wants me to give him the PDF. Oh, no, I know. And it just wasn't a bit, I'm not one to ask for your favors, but I need a fake vaccine card. Bailey, if you have the peat, oh, he wants me to give him the PDF. Oh, no, I know. And it just wasn't a bit. I do. Oh, wow, wow, wow.

I do have that car. I mean, I do have that PDF. You're back. There we go. Hi, Taylor. Hi, back. If we do, yeah, what do you think about destination weddings? I actually was reading an old thread from a few years ago,

where this woman asked her desk to pay $1,500 or something to like pay for her wedding, basically, and they all liked and didn't want to go. And she basically wrote this huge like Facebook message, saying how they ruined her life and now her energy I've broken up. It was really dramatic. Yeah, it was like it was crazy. These are real people. They're insane.

Yeah, that's insane. I don't know what gets into people's heads where like social media really the destination weddings exist before before social media. They did. But this whole, yeah, for this whole, you know, I'm the center of the universe thing like it's, okay. I mean, it's wild. Okay, do you want to, let's see, here is,

I got an erotic story, you think I should read? Oh, let's read it, let's do an erotic story. Yeah, and then I know. The Dict Show presents. I don't know if you can hear that. The erotic story from a real man. That was harmful opinions doing the that. The erotic story from a real man. That was harmful opinions doing the intro for the erotic story.

Okay, hey, dick, here's my erotic story. It's titled, titled, titled, erotic story, my first botched threesome. I think about, it's pretty good. Pretty good. Hey, dick, recently you played a voice mail with the rage about the hindsight you get

when you realize that you could have fucked somebody. My story is a laundry list of similar fuckups that make me want to go to Greenland to this day. That means he makes him want to kill himself Taylor. Yeah, we call it going to Greenland. See if you can catch how many signals I missed. It started when my friend texted me that she wanted me to come over. She was 18 and I was 21 and she needed someone

to buy her alcohol. I was gonna hang out with just the two of them. They were both very athletic half Asian girls, very hot and flexible. Has flexibility ever been a issue for you, Sean? It's not something that I've thought about. You know, like it's, yeah, it's down the list. I think half Asian girls are some of the prettiest women on the planet. Oh, do you? Yeah. Well, yeah, like

Caucasian and Asian, I don't know why, you know, what do that combination seems to work? Yeah. Do you have a preferred type of women, Taylor? Do you like half Asian girls? What a loaded question. I think all women are beautiful. I definitely don? What a loaded question. I think all women are beautiful. I definitely don't have a specific type. Oh, okay. All right. Ones that like my boobs. Oh, I'm being a good start. Are there any of that down? Yeah. Oh, I actually, that's a good question.

But I'd say yes. I'd say they definitely are people who just aren't, aren't like into it, but. Okay. So I can imagine whatever one I wanted, that's awesome. My friend had small cans, but a very nice ass. Her friend had a respectable seat up, okay? Before I picked her up to get the liquor, she sent me a video of her and her friend blowing up condoms and playing with them like balloons.

Me and my friend had made out before, but stopped short of having sex. When I picked her up, we held hands as we waited for her friend to come out of her house. Pretty steamy. Stuff there holding hands in the street. With me and the two girls in tow, they wanted to find somewhere private to hang out.

So we drove to the nearby state college and asked a janitor to let us into the music building. We said we were students Even though none of us were we went into one of the practice room. He just lets you in just at night. Yeah, is that This is a this is a special janitor man Tell you what have you ever tried to ask a janitor to let you in somewhere? I never have Nothing I recall. No, Taylor. I don't think so.

No, talking to a lot of janitors. I'm just gonna lie to you. We went into one of the practice room hallways where we started to drink and they would do things like cartwheels in the hallway and say how sexy the other one is. We're working on this skin flute playing. I awkwardly stood by, not sure what was going on.

Oh my God. The hands hence the letter. No, no, no. Eventually after a good deal of alcohol, me and my friend started making out. I don't remember who initiated, but it was pretty all right. All right. Yeah. Pretty all right. Pretty good. Make out soon after she and her friend had also started making out. Oh my God. Come on, man. Don't fucking do this. I was just so stoked at them making out that I didn't even think about the position I was in. Where are these kids learning at school?

Eventually, her friend gives me this look. We tried combination one and two. Now it was time to try combination three. Well, I got a subway. Yeah. Take a combo. Number three. Yeah.

It's the Italian BMT. Now, the thing about my friend's friend, she was dating one of my bros and I said, I'm not going to make out with you because you're dating my friend. Even though she was just making out with someone else, she said she respected me for that. And that I was a nice guy and we all passed out in that tiny eight by eight practice room without one dick getting sucked that night. I woke up hours later with a splitting headache to the sound of someone practicing piano in the next, in the room next to me.

I had an undeserved sense of self-worth thinking I had done a good thing that night. It was only when I told this story to a female friend years later that I slowly realized I could have fucked both of those girls. It made it worse when my friend said those girls absolutely planned to fuck you that night. This all happened 10 years ago and you stopped them. And I still want to off myself whenever I think of what didn't happen that night.

I hope someone can learn from this. Please don't repeat my mistakes. Too late for me. There you go. There you go. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don like it. Hey, that's the one that got away. But do you think he should kill himself? No.

Okay, fine. I mean, if anything, like let someone else do it, it would probably be more dramatic. Yeah, fair enough. Okay, Taylor, thank you very much for stopping by and reading the news. You're absolutely gorgeous. Can you plug your stuff one more time and maybe guys can go ask you questions not only fans, that fin-dom stuff,

I do wanna hear more about that. You do, if you ever wanna talk about that. Yeah, absolutely. What's the nicest thing you've gotten? Probably like a huge chunk of money. Are you starting to like you speaking about money? Yeah, like I haven't received any massive, massive gifts because I suppose money at the moment is just more useful to me.

Okay. But yeah, definitely loads of nice clothes and, you know, beauty products and kind of anything I ask for, I suppose that. I would that. I would use, but I did buy my phone with the money, like the latest iPhones, so that was fun. Yeah, no getting there. Good for you.

Yeah, good for you. Okay, yeah, plug yourself. You have someone exchange for really great content, so. You do have really great content. I give you that. Thank you. Do you want to plug your stuff again? Oh, sure, absolutely. If they want to find me, I'm on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, and only fans as sports

Breitaylor or sports Breitay. It's pretty easy to find me. If you search Google, you'll probably find my pages as well. Do you have any plans to leave Ireland when lockdown is over? For example, Los Angeles is very... Oh my God, I love to. Where do you want to go? I mean, some are sunny, so typical of Irish people probably like Spain or somewhere like

that, just for a sun holiday. But after that, I'd love to do Southeast Asia. I'd love to do New York. Yeah, I definitely have to come to LA sometime too. And yeah, basically the whole world, I suppose, when I get a chance. Do you burn easily? My nephew's Irish or identifies as Irish.

He burns to his thinking about. My face does. My face definitely does. I think my body not so much but like my nose will be bright red so just expect to see me in a big sun hat you know. And what is your workout? Your sports broad tailor is very workout focused. What is your workout routine? If you don't mind me answering. Well, at the moment I'm following a guide that's like very varied. So they're kind of like sweaty shredders and toning workouts, but because the

gyms aren't open where I am. So it's mostly ab workouts. And I suppose hit workouts that make you kind of sweat a lot, you get really red. And yeah, it just burned a lot of fat. But no, I've been going running as well. I like to go running in the city and then get coffee on the way home and just yeah. I'm trying my best to say for it honestly the gym motivates me so much so yeah I would love to go back. I like I like the atmosphere in the gym but I do my best. Sweaty shredders. Is that a sweaty shredder? Yeah. And what is a sweaty shredder? Yeah. I love hearing women with large breasts complaining about them.

Is that, I don't know if that's just me, but what is your experience? Do you have anything that makes that is annoying about having such wonderful breasts? Yes. What is that? I actually do have a story. So in one of my previous jobs, they brought in a dress code because of me, where no cleavage was allowed. I had to start wearing like high neck tops, which honestly, like if they're form fitting,

they still look great. But yeah, no cleavage was allowed, and I know that it was because of me because no one else had boobs in the office. So, yeah, there are disadvantages. There you go. Okay. It's everything I thought of as a person. Persecution.

Yeah, it is. It is. It is persecution. Okay, Taylor, thank you very much. Thank you so much. I have a good evening. And I'm sure people will be hitting you up. People will show.

Bye. Bye, bye. What a lovely girl. Yes. What a lovely girl. What a lovely young woman, Sean. That's right. Okay, what do I have here? Spurm donor 9623. I thought you'd find the story as hilarious as I did.

In light of this sweet and not having enough sperm donor story this week. My high school friends, older brother, apparently donated sperm 36 times over the course of 14 years from 2000 to 2014. Fathering 17 girls and 19 boys. They tell you? I guess. I don't know. He told the sperm bank he was a genius with an IQ of 160. Yeah. That he could speak four languages was a PhD candidate and had a likeness to Tom Cruise and they checked none of it I guess not The reality was that he was a college dropout working as a janitor a Fellon charged with burglary the guy who let them in the music room Have been diagnosed genius with schizophrenia

Narcissistic personality disorder well a drug-induced psychotic disorder with schizophrenia. No. Oh my God. Narcissistic personality disorder. Well, a drug-induced psychotic disorder and a significant and significant grandiose delusions. Wow. He was promoted as one of the sperm banks' best donors with his great credentials and no history of mental health issues or criminal activity.

So they just don't check anything then. You can say whatever you want, apparently. What is this? What country is this in? Is he this guy writing for, doesn't say it? I think he'll get there. No. From the, oh, from the article about how one of the families

was trying to press charges against the sperm bank. Here's the quote, he's quoting, I guess this guy got in the news for his shenanigans uh... the normans asserted claims including fraud negligence negligent misrepresentation products liability breach of warranty false advertising and specific performance against zitex and two employees uh... zitex attorney ted lavender said during oral arguments in may that the mothers wanted to compare

the perfect child to their child. Peterson at the time asked whether this is a consumer fraud case, you advertised to them sperm A, which had a high market value. They paid you the market value for sperm A, but what you actually gave them was sperm F. F. Yeah. Which had a market value of zero. Right.

Like reverse market value. It's a liability. I guess your sperm actually can have a market value of zero. Out there making future homeless people, just schizophrenic. Just schizophrenic. Prankin' them out, Jesus. How many did he say he had?

36 times. 36 times? Oh my God. 17 growth. Yeah. Wow. Why are they at least? I love that they just, they promoted him as like their star pupil, their star donor.

Something about this whole sperm bank thing, this makes me, it's just, it's weird. Yeah. It's weird. Yeah. I mean, it's, there you go. Yeah, that's good. That's how you crafted text in real time. Yep.

Yeah. Lavinar said it wasn't about false advertising. They're seeking damages for a lifetime of care. The sun born to this woman has been diagnosed with ADHD and a disorder called Thalassemia minor, which is an inherited blood disease determined to have come from his father. God. If you can't talk a guy out of his sperm, I think you just, you're just,

you're playing a cell phone, aren't you? Yeah, going to a fucking desk. You can get this. You could get this. I don't get any of it. I don't understand any of the sperm banks shit. I don't understand the purpose for it. I don't understand why that exists

and all kinds of other stuff is we're not allowed to do. Yeah. Whatever. Devin P. I guess could what would that guy do that for? Probably five grand or something like that. I don't know. I mean, I have I couldn't even I have no idea what they would pay you. Yeah. I tried to find out. I was 50 bucks a donation. Is it I have no idea. I literally have no idea. This is Weight Loss Autoimmune Disease. Hey, Deck, if you read my email in the show, call me Big D. Whoops.

I'm 22. I entered the Weight Loss contest because I'm already on a journey to lose weight. It might give me the extra push I need to lose more because I'm stuck. I have an autoimmune disease that makes it difficult to lose weight. It's called Hydrogenentus superativa. I have stage three in my groin area and under my arms. I get golf ball sized cysts in those areas. Oh, God. Sometimes multiple groups together making a super cyst. Oh, God. There's no cure. I have to keep operating on them probably. Yeah. There's only short-term antibiotics that

destroy your gastrointestinal system after years of use. Oh, Yeah. There's only short-term antibiotics that destroy your gastrointestinal system after years of use. Oh, Christ. It's a short-term solution to a long-term problem. Every day I apply two different lotions, a medicated shampoo and an antibiotic that I've been on for six years. I take antidepressants and have treated ADHD.

At any given time, I have 25 inflamed cysts at least. God, even in general. It hurts. Oh my God. That's fucking sucks. Oh, and you're nuts and under your arms, you're just walking like the fucking this all day. God, there are some fucking, oh, shit, man, you get dealt a fucked up hand like that.

This guy has it almost as bad as me with the kettle corn. I know. I know. Well, he is more painful in some ways than others. In October 2020, I was booking my ticket to Greenland, but after listening to you say to get off my fat ass and exercise so many times, I decided to start losing weight. I was 315.

Six months later, at the contest weigh-in, I'm now 260. Damn. Wow, I'm now 260. Damn. Wow, hoping to keep losing. My doctor wants me to try an immunosuppressant. My insurance is making me go through a trial of another medication, so they don't have fucking pay for it. So he has an overactive, like a immunosuppressant

would mean like he has an overactive immune system, right? It's like a immune system's attacking his body. I am paying for this with my health. I'm on a different immunosuppressant for blood cancer that is making my body take longer to heal, but I have to be on this medication for three months before I can try the medication my doctor actually wants to be sure.

Oh my God. Now I'm constantly leaking pus under my arms and the crevices of my legs and belt line dude it frequently gives me a rash because my skin is so sensitive I hope if you were jerking off when Taylor was on I hope you've finished before the story I have psoriasis all on my dick balls and scalp which burns when I sweat because it's so inflamed I can no longer wear deodorant because under my arms are all open leaking wounds. Are you fucking serious?

Dude. Some spots I get recurring cysts where once the skin grows back, if I touch it, it just rubs away. This is some fucked up shit. I work 40 to 60 hours a week outside and I truck that's 20 degrees hotter than outside with no AC. You wanna have disability?

How does he, that's crazy. Oh my God, most times I stink but can't help it. I showered twice a day with antibacterial body wash and bathed in diluted bleach once a week. People with this disease have it for life, but it sometimes goes into remission with, I want to, every person that has a kickstarter for their dead cat or whatever,

I wanna go back in time and murder the cat. Right. And then with old age, goes into, sometimes it goes into old age around 50, every remission around 50. Suicide rates are high. Most people with my severity give up and collect disability. I mean, that's not, I don't know if that's giving up, you're fucking disabled.

Yeah. The money at least. Yeah. If I don't work, I see that as giving up. I don't feel like I'm of any use. Oh, fuck. I mean, I admire his resolve to keep going and not, I agree with you though. To make you on that, like everybody else is not giving up.

Not giving up. You got fucking disabled. Yeah, you got to, these are the people who probably should, you know, I mean, it's all, it's all you, it's how it makes you feel, but holy shit, I don't think anyone would blame you. I'm constantly in pain and sometimes think I would just be better off taking a ticket to Greenland. Well, you'd be dead then. I'm already swamped in medical bills and it looks like that's going to be my future.

Working outhirts, it makes me bleed, leak, pus, and smell like infected ass. Yet I am motivated to see how much weight I can lose. Oh my God. Well, you think about this way, I doubt losing weight will make anything worse. Right? I mean, what if probably will? He'll probably get some kind of like skinny cancer. Oh God.

Oh, you got under 200 pounds, you got under 200 pound cancer. First time we've ever seen it, we're gonna name it after you. I've always thought if God Was real. It's if God were real. So this is what I you can't you're learning about this for you You don't know fucking how to use word and what I always thought if God were real, he really wants me dead This show say I would be a God move. I want that guy dead, but

I can make him do it. This show has given me the power of spite to keep moving on. Thanks, dude. Yeah, you should go to any, you should go to a feminist studies course like crippled Jesus and just talk about, every time they talk about a problem, you hit them with some kind of infected puss thing. God. That's a fucked up. What is that?

What's that disorder called? Or that disease called? Something bubbo dent, plove. I don't know, I crumpled it up in three ways. Oh, you did, okay, whatever. Other interesting shit, if you want me to call and then talk about it, I had spinal meningitis twice. God damn.

Once when I was two and when I was four, you were more likely to be struck by lightning. Yeah, I balanced and hit. Back in Kylia too. I coordination have been permanently damaged. No. No. Dude.

How old is this guy? Two old. When I was 20, he's 22, didn't he say that? When I was 20, a doctor examined my testicles and realized they never developed. After an ultrasound, they found no blood flow goes to my testicles. I'm just waiting for like the very last sentence where it's all a joke. Yeah, me too. My primary care doctor ignored this easily diagnosable issue for the 12 years that I had her.

The only reason I found out was because I had a torn, I had torn a muscle on my lower pecs and they could see one of my balls in the MRI. What? Sorry if this was kind of a rant, but cheers, Dick, and thank you for not killing yourself. I don't, if you're not working out, you are fucked. Oh, because what's your excuse? This guy was posse leaking out from his dick and back and belt line. So Ryan says, all over everywhere.

Work 60 hours a week in a truck. Has his balls never developed. He has a job, works out, and no balls. But if they ever developed, like wouldn't he have all kinds of like lack of testosterone? Yeah, like all kinds of, yeah, developmental issues, you know, like God. Yeah, dude, I mean, he writes this email is talking about

himself. He writes emails like, oh man, he should he should call in. Sure, he should call in. Oh God. This is the worst thing. This is the worst one I've at least cripples, Jesus gets a chair, a motorized chair and he can run into. Yeah, I'll use it for right. What is the worst one I've at least cripples. Jesus gets a chair, a motorized chair and you can run into. Yeah, I'll use it for it. Right. What does this guy get to do? Pop cysts, like a fucking X man. The armp have here. He beats and bleach once a week. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, bleach that this week.

Jesus. Uh, well, sorry, buddy. Sorry that happens to you. Happy you losing weight. Yeah. James says, uh, rage, so here's what makes me rage, dry U-Benz. People bitch about hard water. Hi, Maddie.

But they never mentioned the worst aspect, dry U-Benz. The lime scale build up on the inside of your toilet pipes so they're not slippery. And then toilet paper grips the U-Benz and works like a wick to siphon all the water out of the toilet. Huh. And then there's no barrier between the air in your house and the air in the sewer.

You come home after a long day in your house smells like all of your neighbor's toilet. Huh. And then there's no barrier between the air in your house and the air in the sewer. You come home after a long day and your house smells like all of your neighbors shit. Yeah. That's true. Okay. Do we have, oh God, M girl was going to call in. Mr. Girl was going to call in. Is he? Yeah. There he is. Wait, the rapper. Yeah, the rapper, the rapper, Mr. Girl, are you? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, buddy. You're loud. I know, I got him, I got him. You were the rapper of the, I'm a pedophile song. I love that. Loved it. Fucking great.

Thank you. The Reptars, the pink Reptars shirt. How is the hoodie got me? How has life been as a pedophile for you? After coming out, you know what I was thinking? I actually know what it's like to be a pedophile at this point. So many people think I'm a pedophile. That's like, I might as well enjoy it if I'm going to be seeing as a pedophile. Oh, that was a joke. The video was a joke.

Yes, yes. I know. It was actually a joke. Maybe you should try it though. I mean, how do you know if you're not? Isn't that what they say? I already got all the bad parts of being a pedophile. I might as well taste the sample some of the good, you know? The bad parts of the bullying, not the knowledge that you've abused children out of a compulsion. No, it's bad for you to be a pedophile. That's the problem. Yeah. What has, can you tell us some of your thoughts on the reaction and maybe what made, drove you to make this wonderful video? I mean, the original thing was the QD's review, right? That's what made people think I was a pedophile. Yeah, Vito told

us a little bit. Oh, yeah. You did review QD's. I did. Have you seen QD's? No, I wanted to do. You got, you got in a little trouble about cuties or something, right? Yeah, everybody. So you said it was free speech. I mean, I said it's like, let's like a woman's thing. Like they, that's like a woman made that from her experience and other,

like I think that women kind of know more than a bunch of angry young men online about their developing sexuality and that they, and that I think they expressed it in a way that seems probably might seem sick and weird to us or uncomfortable, but that's kind of the point. Like if it wasn't for predatory men, it's supposed to make you uncomfortable, sure. Yeah, and if it wasn't for predatory men, they wouldn't need to have this conversation at that age. I, ironically, true point. I agree.

I think that the concept that this movie was made for perverted men is very misguided. That was one of the weirdest takes. Yeah. Like the people calling it pet-o-bait as though. Right. Like Netflix wants to increase their pet-o file of the subscribership, but that doesn't make sense. Yeah, that's the demo they're going for.

They're lacking and they're falling behind Amazon Prime in the pet-o department. So they had to, did they put that in their SEC filing? Yeah, I'm not with something, guys, come on. Yeah, Q3 is gonna be great. Yeah. We're upping our pet-o. Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

So I made a review. I was basically like, the movie tries to make you uncomfortable by making these kids look hot. And it kind of accomplishes that uncomfortably so, but they are kind of hot. And people see why you could fit for that. People thought that I thought I was saying something totally normal and that I accidentally revealed

that I'm secretly a child monster or a pedophile. Gotcha. So then they flagged my channel so much that my channel got taken down for like four months. I just got it back. So for four months there's been reaction videos to me without of context clips making me look like a pedophile. Oh yeah. And with no way to address it or anything.

So I finally got my channel back and I thought this music video would be the perfect way to read it. Because the other thing is YouTube took my video down. Yeah. So all that all that exists is the out of context clips. Exactly. It makes me look like I'm trying to hide it. Yeah. Like I love my cuties review.

I'm proud of my cuties review. And so, but I can't have it on YouTube. So I thought that this would be a good way to just put a big like fucking flag in the middle of my channel and say like, if you wanna talk about how we pedophile, we can talk about it. Yeah, the song's great.

I love the reviews great also because you kind of look like, I mean, no offense, but you kind of look like, I mean, no offense, but you kind of look like a dirt bag. Like you look like you could be. That is what I love. I mean, that's just, that's just how I look. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. So what has been the reaction to your, I'm a pedophile rap? It's been pretty positive. Surprisingly, I was braced for a more divided response, but I think that a lot of people want to believe that my QD's review was like satire or something, and it's just not, 100% serious,

but there's a lot of people who are like, oh, so now I get it, this is all a joke. And I'm like, no, I really meant what I said, but I also have a sense of humor about myself. So I think that's just kind of relieving to people, I guess. But the response has been overwhelmingly positive, I would say, which I was not anticipating. I think that there have been some...

Cranks. Who, who say like who's hiding in plain sight? I mean, everybody knows it's a joke, but some people think it's a joke to cover up that you're actually secretly a pedophile. Right. Which is, again, like, if I have a problem on my channel, it's that I, that I overshare. I don't really get the idea that like I am not admitting enough stuff on my channel that

there's more secrets, dirty secrets I need to put out there. Yeah. Yeah. Overall, it's been pretty, pretty positive secrets I need to put out there. Yeah. Um, yeah. Overall, it's been, it's been pretty, pretty positive, I would say. I think people can't deny a song, a good song. Like, it's true. You know, you get their foot tapping. That's it.

Like, who is it, Gary Glitter? The, isn't he? Rock and roll part two, yeah. You know, you know, you guys an actual pedophile. Oh, yes, yes. Right. But still, I'm still the same as this. Oh, don't you dare.

You get people dancing, you get people dancing. Don't you dare bad mouth, bad mouth Michael on the show. You may not think he is actually a victimizer of children, but clearly he's sexually attracted to them. Do we agree on that? I don't think so. I agree that he wants, you wanted to be one. Yeah, yes.

I think you wanted to be a kid in here. He wanted to be a little kid who fucked adults. Yeah, I bet he, I think he fucked sons of girls. I'm gonna put that out there. I don't know, I don't know. Do you think he dresses up at a little kid when he does it though? Like there's something fucking weird about his sexuality, right? I mean, what's sexual sexuality weird?

Identity. Yeah. Oh, sure, I guess it's's sexual identity? And identity. Yeah. Oh, sure. I guess it's all weird. That's fair. Yeah, I'll give you that. I thought he, I think he got done dirty though and he made it bad. Get sleep over with Kit.

Would you, if you had a 10 year old fan, would you let them sleep in your bed? Uh, I would not. No, no, no, no, did they sleep in his bed? Really like to though. Did they sleep in his bed? It's weird. Like now that you're like the age of where're the age of where you have fans and you have like, clout, doesn't looking back on that, that's kind of weird, right?

Yeah, it's an imagined for parents being like, yeah, we'll send you to Dick's house for the week. Yeah, that's really fucking weird. I don't even want kids that I like sleeping like anywhere. Very poor judgment. Yeah. Wanting to be friends with a 10 year old is weird. That's weird. Yeah.

Yeah. So we can go ahead. The guy had problems. Yeah, problem. I'm thinking that if you had Joe Joe, I'd send for you. No. Wait, did they sleep in the same bed because he's living in the house? I think so.

He's like the size of my house. I know, like this. Sure, maybe sleeping in the same bed to him is like 20 feet away. That's possible. But they did did they did sleep in the same bed Well, then that's I mean that's I think I Very fucked up. You can't do in that optics optics optics No, I think I think one thing that's really weird about pedophiles is to like delusion that little kids are like

Smart or mature enough or like they're like adults Yeah, Michael Jackson had that part where he he wanted to be like buddies that little kids are like smart or mature enough or like that they're like adults. I feel like Michael Jackson had that part where he wanted to be like buddies with the other kids. And that's weird. He had a lot of weird notes. That fact that family like a bunch really get updates. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He got really invested. He got really invested in their lives. I think he just wanted to fan them. Well, he did have a lot of that. I mean, he did not have a childhood. No. He definitely didn't. No, it's totally understandable why he would turn out like that. Well, yeah, and a lot of people grew up in, you know,

and maybe not similar exactly, but some commonalities, but they don't necessarily turn out like that. But, you know, it's, he's a bizarre dude, poor judgment. Yeah. You know, I don't know. Great answer. Oh, yeah, man. So, see, that's the thing.

See, that's the thing. If he hadn't gotten us all dancing and tapping our feet, if he was just a guy, a rick's imagine he owned like a like a toxic waste disposal company. And how take away the celebrity and it's a different yeah. Yeah, I take away the glamour and just leave the money and he had little kids coming over to sleep and his mansion and his bed. Would you be saying the same thing? Well, uh, no, no, definitely not. But also I don't think you're forgiving them because you love them. And you're and I think that's what you're saying about my song. People it But also, I don't think- Because you're forgiving him because you love him. And I think that's what you're saying about my song.

People, it's not that people don't think I'm gonna file anymore. It's that they no longer mind that I'm a petite. They're like, all right, if you're gonna abuse some kids, just keep the good videos coming. Just don't make any shitty videos and we're good. This ignorant you guys, this ignorant don't make a bad song. No, we're right, we're gonna be right back on your ass.

Mr. Girl, we're gonna be bad songs. Cut us your last song. What do you think? I also don't think a bunch of moms would be throwing their kids at a guy who owns a toxic waste dump, you know, to get them out. Oh, true. Unless they don't want their kids to come out.

Yeah, true. I mean, when I was a kid, I wanted to be friends with Michael Jackson. I would have slept in his bed in a second. Really? You want to be friends with Michael Jackson. I would have slept in his bed in a second. Really? You want to be friends with Michael Jackson? Oh, yeah. I was in love with Michael Jackson.

I had fantasies about like having dinner with him and hanging out at his house and going on his, I like heard you get like amusement park rides and I was like, oh my god, I don't know if I can go on those. Yeah, when I was like eight, I was for show and tell. In third grade, I dressed up as Michael Jackson and just put on smooth criminal and just danced. So you were in the show and tell in third grade. I dressed up as Michael Jackson and just put on smooth criminal and just danced. I was just showing tell. So I'm old enough to remember thriller. Yeah, me too. And I did I did literally wear that record out. I had a, oh yeah. God. It had been out for a couple of years by the time I was old enough to,

yeah, I played that record incessantly. I remember people being that into Michael Jackson and just not getting in. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Well, because like, I'm obviously like an M&M fan, but like, I know that M&M doesn't want to like hang out with me. But when you're listening to Michael Jackson and you're eight or ten, he really does want to hang out with you.

He actually is the one like musical artist who would feel the same way about me that I thought about him. Yeah, that's true. So I just got that connection with him. Got an amusement park. He got a chimp. I mean, kids can't resist. There was a lot of weird shit going on with kids in that era. Like it was everything was kind of kid themed and they were Michael Jackson Jackson Apologists. I definitely am. Like Vegas was trying to make it all about kids and family. There was a lot of weird kid pushing going on around. I really try to revamp Vegas.

It's a waste disposal guy who had that amusement park. His mansion for kids. They don't remember that guy. Yeah, yeah. Everybody wanted to send their kids to go live with them for a week. I remember that. Learn the trade. It's a shovel job.

Shovel ready job. Right. That's what happens. I remember that, learn the trade. It's a shovel job, shovel ready job. Right, right. That's what happens. That's what he's all about. Do you have, I do, I have a theory on this whole like a performative pedophile hatred. I have a theory on where it comes from, but I would like to hear yours because you've also experienced it. Yeah, so I'm actually working on a video about this.

I think I'm going to call it either the pedo scare or the ped scare, like something. It feels like the red scare. There's sort of something weird going on where people are trying to define themselves as sexually normal. Yeah. Like, calling other people perverts. But I don't really have a theory of why it is so centered around this.

No, do you? So, I mean, you do it, what is it? Yeah, I think that we have a world that's focused on hypergamy, like women with many male suitors and similarly men who have as resources as resources collect and are taken away from young Younger men who are not like struggling to find jobs and who have to live at home and Dizzying degrees that in order in order for these men who have no access to women They have to engage in these performative I'm a suitable mate performance

where they say like, look, I'm so, I'm such a good mate that I defend children that don't exist from predators that I've created in my head. That also don't exist. That also don't exist. And this is like, That's interesting.

Yeah, and it's because a lot of people, go ahead. No, no, no, go ahead. He does a lot of drugs. A lot of people keep commenting, like if this guy can get a girlfriend, I can cure cancer. Like anytime my girlfriend's on the channel,

there's a lot of like mean comments about how they can't believe I have one or how I'm an in-sell or whatever. So I do, I do see what you're saying that there's an effort to label other males as non-competitive. Yeah, yeah. And they do it with themselves too. They build themselves into this fury of like,

wood shipper, why, like, I'm gonna build a bigger wood shipper. I can do it at a time in my imaginary wood shipper. Like, can you build a wood shipper? No, because I don't have no skills. I just did video games. Like, so that's how I'm, this is how I'm signaling that I'm a mate. Anyway, that's just my life here.

I think that's a good theory. Thank you. What have you got planned in the future? You got anything planned for? So I do, I do want to make that video. So I started a kind of educational series where I dress up as a professor and I made a video about the Black Lives Matter where I interviewed like Black Lives Matter people and kind of argued with them and trying to figure out like what the Black Lives Matter narrative, how

true it is and how both sides I guess are seeing it. And I do want to do that with the pedophile thing where I probably will wait a little bit because I don't want it to be like five videos about pedophilia in a real life channel. But I do want to get to the bottom of this because I think what you just pointed out is a good theory. But there's something, it feels like something dangerous that's growing. It's if you have session with it. And how much of it is paranoid and not rooted in reality, where it's like the idea that people are trying to lower the age of, because children are safer than they've ever been in history,

I think. Yeah. So I wanna make a video about that. I wanna make a video about a similar thing about the way people talk about trans people. I heard you, you know, talking about your pronouns earlier. Oh yeah. I think, I about your pronouns earlier. Oh yeah. I think I'm probably not gonna be as combative as you,

although I- Few are. Some most, well, not always. And mostly agree with you. But I wanna see if I can come up with some way for people to meet in the middle about this, not compromise, but sort of just understand each other's points of view. So I want to interview like a trans person

and doctors, scientists, whatever, anyone I can get to talk to me and see if you know we can figure something out. And then I'm making another rap video, most likely. What is your take on the trans, on the trans thing? So it's a weird thing where like it seems like most people either believe that there are just men and women. So there's gender and that's separate from sex, right? And so that already is weird to me. Yeah, I was brought up believing because my mother's a lesbian and my family's very liberal and I was I was brought up in a very liberal town called Amherst Massachusetts. Yeah. And so I was at age 13, I was taught gender as a social construct. It's not real. So you have your sex and then you have how you act.

And that's it. And so gender could be you're wearing a dress, it could be you say, whatever, just the way you feel and express yourself. And that made sense to me as like, yeah, men literally have to wear pants just because they have a penis, they could wear a dress, they could wear makeup, they could like trucks, or they could like barbies, or whatever. So non-binary always made sense to me as a way to sort of just like deconstruct the idea of gender, but being trans always feels like, okay, so you believe that there are boxes for how we should act,

but you would like to just be in the other box. Yeah. So the trans people are actually working against non-binary people, even though they pretend that they're on the same side, but they're actually completely opposed to another. That's a good point. Because instead of just, this is what I do. This is how I look. It is, I need to co-opt what your definition of pronouns are

and you need to refer to me as the other one for my satisfaction. Like that is a fucking very interesting point. I've seen that happening. Because go ahead. I also think that if you enable other people's body dysphoria, they will usually let you. So you see that with like older people,

like like aging people, especially movie stars and again, they're 50s and 60s, they start getting plastic surgery and you keep telling them, oh, you know, this is, you look great. This is what you look like. And they really believe it even though they look like shit. So if someone has gender dysphoria and you tell them, no, you really look like a girl, like you're lying to them because they don't, 99% of the time, they just don't. But it's kind of cruel and irresponsible to be so scared of telling people, like, hey, you're stuck in your body and the stuff you're doing to it to try to make it look like someone else's body is destructive. And I don't think you should do that.

People are scared to say that and it enables people to harm themselves. So I don't blame trans people, or hate trans people or anything. I just think that, if you tell anybody that they're thinner than they are, or they're more female than they are, they're taller than they are, or whatever, they're gonna be inclined to go along with delusion.

But I do think it's- People want validation. Yeah. People want validation, yeah. So if you offer it, they're going to take it. Say you're really funny. Oh boy, here we go. Soap and pandora's back. Yeah, boy, I'm going to shut up. Yeah, never never fake an orgasm. I never fake a laugh. Are you setting yourself up for pain? I mean, do fake the orgasm, though, for, you know, for my sake, like just, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. No, no, I honestly, I audit all orgasms.

Yeah. Like, prove it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't get a percent. Yeah. Made orgasm.

I'm like, wait a second. Is this real? All right, miss. Does anything make you a rage? Start making fake bowel movements. Does anything make you a rage start making bowel movements? Does anything make me rage? Yeah, does anything make me I ask everybody if anything makes them a rage and they call in.

I think that, you know what, when people say I'm lying, when people say he's hiding something or he's lying, It really irritates me. I'm like, I bear my soul to you fucking disingenuous fucks. And you shit on it, which is fine. That's my fault. I know that part. But then you say that I have another secret that I'm somehow hiding from you. That's the, like, get all the bad parts of being honest and none of that. They figured it out. They figured it out. Yeah. There's no smart.

There's no smart. Everybody thinks everybody else is lying on it. It's really weird. I know. I've made myself totally unapproachable by parents and children with my comedy and my decisions because I secretly harbor a weird attraction. I'm the dumbest pedophile that's ever. You also had that don't vote rap. You're a really good rapper.

Your songs are good. Maybe I should play it. I was training my client and I was thinking, because I'm a personal trainer before when the gyms were open. I was like, what if I made a rap song where it's like a PSA where I'm telling little black kids why they shouldn't vote. Yeah. She was like, I don't know if that's a good idea. And I was like, no, Mark, how's happening?

I'm gonna do this. Yeah. I'm already conceived it. Did you see when that right wing guy, Ricky Vaughn, I think, like he's getting federally... Really Vaughn, Ricky Vaughn, the baseball, like a major league? That was his avatar. He's getting federally indicted for doing the same kind of don't vote, like giving

quote, misinformation about voting, like telling people they could vote online, because he posted some memes that was exactly like your song. Did you see that? No. Oh, dude. It's right. There were satirical memes pretending that you can vote online, but then he got indicted because they said he was actually trying to suppress voters. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he's getting indicted for. I think it's ongoing. I think that Reptar Cody is going to keep me out of jail on this one, but we'll see. I hope so. Are you worried about where we're going in terms of like, great speech? Yeah. speech. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I am. That's another thing that the pedophile thing kind of overlaps with that. Or it's like the stuff you can talk about is narrowing. Oh, yeah. And like, yeah, it's not against the law to say the girls and cuties are hot.

Or they're challenged to me by bear or whatever. But it's getting, it feels challenged to me by bear or whatever. But it's getting, it feels like it's heading in that direction where it's going to be illegal to say things that YouTube wouldn't want you to say, which is disturbing. And in practice, it's already kind of illegal to say certain things because you can get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get

you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you the first amendment would fall, which is, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, college kids, I bought a couple surveys into this show where they're like, well, we need to significantly change. I want the fucker. Yeah, what are you talking about? Right. Yeah, if your ideas are better, then fucking get better at expressing them in a win arguments. You don't, you don't need to silence your opponents.

Yeah. Again, it's got, if free speech has to be near absolute. I should be absolute. Well, yeah, except for the, what are you in here? Well, I mean, near is in like, you know, like the inciting violence or like that. I mean, that's been on the books a long time.

I'm okay with it. I mean, it's good. No more, you can't go for it unless you can't, if I read your photo card number out loud right now, that's, I'm speaking, but it's like, like, I think that there have to be laws to say and stop you from saying something or punish you for saying something, but not for expressing it.

Not for expressing an idea. No, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I think Fed posting should be legal, like completely legal, even even inciting. I don't really, maybe I'm, maybe I'm not thinking straight, but there's a Taylor's tits, but could be. I mean, even in the country did, yeah,

was founded on violence inciting speech. I mean, that's what a revolution is. So, yeah, true. It's kind of weird to be like, okay, that was the last revolution. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore.

We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore.

We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore. It's the, it's the kingship itself that is bad. So it's kind of weird to then now we're shifting away from that and saying like, no, we just need to stop the bad people from talking.

Yeah, kind of. It's talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember like when the capital riot insurrection happened, I had this weird feeling like I remember as a kid, you could say stuff like committing violence against the government, I'm pretty sure you could

and that was fine. And now I'm seeing on TV that you're not allowed to anymore. So I'm wrong, like some things, you know, that's touching up in my brain. Or whatever, I mean, in my mind, that concept hasn't changed. Like I mean, as far as what I thought you were allowed to say or what you're not allowed,

like on the book, so to speak, whatever precedent has been, you know, set for that. Yeah. To me, I don't, I haven't noticed that that's changed, but certainly the court of public opinion, or, you know, whoever the loud minority, yeah. Oh, I mean, it's way more restrictive than it ever should be.

Well, here's something worse. Here's something that I noticed about. Vito is saying that I owe him 50 bucks because of the Chauvin verdict and he's wrong. I double, I double or nothing to my baked Alaska bet. That was a parlay. That's right. I said that parlay. That was a parlay and the first bet has not has not yet been determined. So I will either owe you zero or a hundred if baked Alaska is sent to prison.

You son of a bitch. I mean, because the appeal or whatever, well, baked Alaska hasn't been no. No, no, I'm talking about talking about a show. Showman's gone to jail. I mean, there's going to be a drill or just did the appeal. Well, probably you have to head all the backs. You could come out on top here. No, because he's going to spend at least some time in jail.

So that's okay. He's already, he's already. He's already. Fine, fine. I'm a spirit of the back guy. I'm a spirit of the back guy. I don't like hard feelings. For you.

I thank you. For you. I thank you. It takes honesty. That's what I meant when I made the bet that he would be, that he would be cleared or have some kind of a plea deal. Right. I just, I can't believe that Shove inside went,

thought that the truth would be a good defense. Like, what are you guys, what are you talking about this fucking fentanyl theory that he overdosed? Like, even if he overdosed, if he wasn't being arrested at the time, somebody would have said, oh shit, that gigantic black guy just passed out in the street.

I better call an ambulance. Like, it would be faster than nine and a half minutes. Yeah. How do they not get? He probably would have crashed through a wind. He wouldn't, what it went back to the same convenience store and said, can you call, I'm having a fucking hard attack because I did all this fentanyl. I'm a habitual fentanyl user.

I know what it feels like. And then while the guy was calling 911 he was probably pocketed to you. Do you have GF change for a 20? Yeah, Danny have changed for the 20. Yeah, I think the defense they needed to mount was there were lots of different factors and Chauvin was one of them that led to Floyd's death. You can not enough to in a murder on him.

Yeah. They should have gone with, they just should have gone day one with, I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry I killed that guy. I'm sorry I killed that guy. I'm a cop. I did what cops do. I'm fucking sorry. Please throw me in jail. The Albert, the Albert spear defense.

What is that? Albert spear was a, was a Nazi. Um, who, uh, yeah, he, he basically, yeah, he basically got off a long time in prison where other people in the same circles got the death penalty. And he basically said, he basically, he was like, yeah, I'm sorry, like I should have done this or, you know, I should have known what was going on or I shouldn't, you know, he's basically, he's called the Nazi who said, who did not see who said sorry. Yeah. And he did, he did get off later. He says, sorry. Oh, it totally is. But people are just so guys are so macho about their

apology. And they give me shift forward all the time. I'm like, never apologize. Like, bro, you have, the reason you think that is because you have, first of all, you're not in trouble and two, you have nothing to lose. Like anybody with something to lose learns how to apologize constantly. It is something you say to get what you want. What do you want? Not to go to jail. I hate apologies for that reason.

With my girlfriend, I freak out if she apologized to me. Early on, I was like, do not ever apologize to me because that's what it is. You're just trying to get me to do something. And I don't want to be able to tell you that I'm fucking mad at you without you trying to tell me I shouldn't be. Yes, agreed.

What was I gonna say? I have jurors, the sure. Oh, yeah, with the, with the Chauvin thing, when Biden went on TV and said he hoped that the jurors make the right choice. Yeah, don't do that, motherfucker. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I agree. That's a great name. Yeah, I agree with that.

You just used the news to convict a guy. Like, yeah, that's, you got to stay separate from that. And you know that. You know exactly what you're doing. That you're using. Yeah, he should be censored for that or something, because that's not cool. Yeah, that was wild.

Anyway, it was nice talking to you, Mr. Girl. I saw it on YouTube, thanks for having me on. Yeah, we got to do, this is some nice healing that we're doing. Yeah. You got any questions to chat? Processing. Chat, do you have any questions?

I doubt it. Anything you wanna plug? Plug your channel. Oh, we got plug the channel, Max. Vito's saying plug the channel. Right, money, I forgot. It's called Mr. Girl, MRG-R-l, youtube.com slash Mr. Girl. There you go.

All right, thanks, buddy. Colin again. Thank you. All right, sounds good. See you later, guys. Vito says, Shoveen wouldn't have been capable of an apology. He's a legit sociopath who definitely thinks he did nothing wrong. Sociopath would be the most capable of an apology under any circumstance.

I didn't see any of the trial or his, you know, how he acted, how he. He's like smirking, dude. Like, I was hoping they would throw him in jail just because of the, just because of the smug way he took the fifth. I was like, oh man, you're, you shouldn't have even read that statement.

Like, you look like a total fucking asshole right now. Um, I don't know. He seemed smuggish fuck. All right. Is that it? Is that the end of the show? Did we do, did we do a show here? We did. We definitely did a show. We definitely did show. Um, this has been the Dix show. Patreon.com slash the Dix show. I'll see you next Tuesday. This is Kendall and Hyde. Did a song about Emily. I think this should be good. 100% it's called a hundred percent show. I don't wear a bra, so.

Doesn't apply to you. Freezing. This is cold in here, I can't help it. It is cold in here. Yeah, and they see it. You are a little bit... Wow! Oh! Female empowerment.

Oh, 100%. I'm overcome with emotion. I'm a little nervous. That's okay. H.S. have to wait and hear the rages Starting strong whims, dick and co-host Talking mom who lost her moho Find a news he's coming up soon Switch from lips and LinkedIn YouTubers This news baby in the corner

She's a Q.T.I.D.O.R. Her modest beauty, bit and gritty AC's cranked it's getting it beat So you wanna be a news baby? Here's a little tidbit No one can'ts what you say to show a little titnip Well Beatles fanboying over beddough files Your nipples start growing

Then the chat goes wild The mask in with your hair hung, they're ain't no need to hide it Now he cannot be the only one who's getting quite excited You got me going to, I don't need huge boobs Just wanna be hugging you in an ice cold room Your boobies' peaks look like boobies' teeth Check, let's go. I want some. Get this dude a piece.

Can we just sit and marry? Why are you avoiding this? I can be your lair. And you could be my pointy chair. Connuckshin' poster seeking arrangement. Check your freedoms at the border. Let the person's a pain. No sperm shortage here.

Watch me pump out leaders as we Netflix. And till in my walk in freezer. You'll be begging. Get inside me. When I take you out, declining Don't need tools with such a nice rack Use your sharp boots as an ice axe My front lawn beer boots are bathing

Cause it sure could use a rating Come inside, we'll cook the nice Meal, use your boobs to tenderize Feel whether you have nice tight lips Say, you ship seekers, don't care Just give those nips in my face Wear my heart on my suit, I haven't heard in the past So I burn down my chairs, how I'm looking to smash

Shacks and chicks, pass a kiss Old news, they've just after nips P-Beef, no, I wrap that's it Only nibble rub and hot and sistan are yours in my mouth I'm a pacifist, with pacifist won't flop my ass crack and spit On a chick, I'll just buy you new spatulas I won't puff your ass crack and spit on a chick I'll just buy you new spatulas, I won't huff your poo Unless you ask me to

Plus I'm over four and nine, massive dude I won't miss you away to a drug-com you And you won't ever find a lolliposter in my room A mix between Keon and Sean, quite hunky Never made a sexy peasant suicide on monkey-eye Well adjusted, I make good choices What 200 songs about cucks and dumb voices? Just a little hobby made us weird

Don't got the gizmo, it's just laser focus now It's on your nipples, wanna lick them one 100% safe sex, let's do it Mabola true best, we'll protect me while we're schoolin From those full middle jackets in your jacket When I'm blind and blind, hit me in the arm And I like got my damn hand Walking on my hardplants, got you breathing

I've got a band in, pick it Get the hand sanitizer, I'm like Pfizer Now you feelin my effects, go lay down and have a rest Got the chills or nipples, wreck my leather, count you made a mess Back to the day you have the best Gotta get this off my chest, I keep thermonet your breasts Look at tap to stay in fact, got me baby feeling blessed You're so cute

I'm thinking about you're a free production unit Great, but I'm looking at you seeking arrangement profilies I, like sperm What's up with these reviews? I don't have. Two for one ripple off, damn dude, that hurt. Pay for one dick fuck of two prince albers. Better last Monday, took her on the shruff, and spring ever came back to suck me off properly.

A.A.M. This lady down at the A.T.A.M. For some A.T.A.M. Took my A.T. brand, put it in her hand, then she switched the plan, and that bitch just ran. It's now 90 AM. I'm still waking ma'am You're stupid! Did I just get scared?

I'm a scammer too, baby I appreciate the hustle but the yl use for you Until I get my suckle snuggled That's the boy I'll meet you at your place We need to go in the shower Sure babe, sounds great Now I'm tapping that ass

And I got her coming fast Cold shower bed, fell her up against the frosty glass I'm in tips sweet streets, sweet nose nips Got deep breaking glass in my fall In a sunny, buddy deep still I have to finish, whoops, leaning on her neck It was only dyed in a selfie, she'd be sad I'm very london, come on, so it's gonna believe me

So I take up her phone and call Christopher Kiwi Yeah, can you hear me? Hello, Christopher, I'm the new news page I've emailed you my address But don't you dare come over here. I'm totally alive in my bathroom and I don't want to talk to you. I love his voice. It's always been for a difficult time at the wrong. Bye.

I just want to kiss. I just want you to come up with a question. Oh. God. Very good. Thank God. Damn it. Thank you, Kendall and I. I hope Emily likes that. It's on. Sure. Why wouldn't she? I don't know. I try not to guess what women will feel one way or the other. Raj, let's see. Raj, hello, they're telling me not to forget the, let me see how did they phrase it.

Forget the beautiful girl with big boobs and the accent who wants to call in and defend cutie. So are you there? It's a boob related show. What? Sometimes I can, sometimes I have a dream, Sean, where I am boobs. Yeah.

And then I wake up and I, Oh, I'm actually on the show. up and I'm actually on the show. Yes, you're actually on the show. And then I wake up. That's fucking wicked. And I don't know. Oh, you're just drinking. Oh, you're just drinking.

And I don't know if I'm, if that was a dream or a- Have you- Can you hear me, Rose? Can you hear me? I'm voice-failing. Can you- Can you- Can you hear me talking? I

Can hear you perfectly fine. Yes, okay, you just interrupting for fun. Yes, I can hear you Sorry, okay, well, we've been drinking what is your defensive cuties that you wanted to say? Well my defensive cuties it's not about Well, my defensive cuties, it's not about p-de-f- it's not about p-de-f-lear, it's about young girls learning how to learn about their own sexuality, that's a completely different things and the people that people are about saying it about p-de-f-lear is, it's people that are fucking ourselves. It's like, dude, young girls can also have things where they have mind fucked stuff. Yeah.

Does it remind you of growing up? Yeah, like I'm an Indian girl, obviously. I'm not a Muslim girl, because Muslim girls do deal with sex equality, but even as an Indian girl you deal with a certain amount of sexuality. That like fox of your mind and it's just like growing up and trying to like cover yourself or as like a girl as a granger, it forks your mental state over and the movie's not meant to be about like pedophilia or anything, it's meant to be about how like shit folks up your mind when you're trying to cover yourself for better

certain state. You got to cover yourself up, Sean. Even if you have big, beautiful breasts, you have to cover them up. You believe that? Like Raj does. You have to cover every day. You have to cover them up. Don't make other people feel bad. It's ridiculous. It pretty much, though, pretty much, though. Like I have like stupid, stupid, traditional Indian parents and they're always like, hey, call yourself all. Why? Why? Why? Why? Like sometimes I've been trying to be still, it's just because it's fucking warm and I call them like one centimeter on my brush. Say open. That's annoying, isn't it?

my brush, say open, that's annoying, isn't it? It's too hot for me to cover these babies up. Those of you saying, dad, I'm not gonna cover it. It's too fucking hot, man. I'm sweat all over my breasts, my bodacious and large breasts, is that what you want? Dad, you fucking pedophile. That's how you handle it. Well, that is pretty much why that is exactly how and that's why I think people who treat cuties as bad thing are fucking idiots. Because you must not fucking understand that like,

like a sport always deal with that kind of shit. Like they deal with the shit where it's like, it's an age where they're going through hormones. And like, it's eye-crowing of people trying to control us. Well, personally, I don't think women should have any way of expressing themselves. My movies. I've been consistent on that. Anything that it is, no, no, no, no, no, no, lock it down.

Do we need it? That's what I, is this helping anybody? No, it's gonna be another problem, I have to. All right, Raj, we're out of here. Thank you for calling in. I'm sorry, you have to cover yourself up. It's horrible. Take some time to let everything breathe

when you're by yourself or Or not drinking drinking. Are you drinking with friends? What are you doing? Oh? I never drink with friends. I don't I barely have me But no you're drinking by yourself. No, no, find some friends at least have a zoom Well, obviously everyone has assumed your rank of it. Okay, all right. Bye, Raj. Goodbye, everyone. See you. Bye-bye. Maybe one voicemail.

Mad Cux, I'm sorry, I didn't figure out who won the weight loss thing. I got to tabulate it. One voicemail. Okay. Why don't you dip-shit? Just try watching an article. Sorry, we're closed. Then you'll understand why you can't be done.

Shut your buffoon mouths and just listen. Learn something. What you talking about? All you did was talk over the man. Flat earth, I think. Yeah, I know, I know, but... I was it. He had a facts machine going in the man. Flat Earth, I think. Yeah, I know, but... That was it. He had a fax machine going in the background.

Antarctica, sorry, we're closed, is a flat earth documentary. I thought I let that guy talk a lot. You did. Oh my God, I'm glad. You did let him talk a lot actually. I'm mad and the moon light's cold. Yeah.

Just explained to me how the moon lights cold. I think there's so many fucking experiments. I told you about the, I have months old Mahi Mahi, I'm still working on because I put it in the moon light and there's no, I told you about this. I this one, we just have to, we're diverging on. There's just so many experiments that have been done with gyroscopes to prove the earth is so many that you can do at home. That's ridiculous. They're

all just so easily disprovable, you know, like it's preposterous. Yeah, one one more. I know that we're out of here. We're out of here. See you. All right, bye. We're out here. See you. All right. Bye.