The Dick Show - Episode 258 - Dick on the Jerk Off Ninja

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Used Front Hole Day, Sean is leaving for White Boy Summer, wasting time cleaning a grill, Happy Mother’s Day to myself, Tess Holiday vs. anorexia, fat women vs. COVID, everyone vs. J Scott Campbell's boobs, Crippled Jesus wheels out of the closet, Adam from Houston and the jerk off ninja, a deadbeat sister, the IRS gets $80 billion, and $DOGE tanks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! 

Have you encountered any mysteries this week? Any solving? No, not that I can think of. Oh, here's a mystery for you. Who's this appealing to? This gentleman, I came here to look good and piss off transphobes by looking good. There it. What the fuck is.

Let me put that in the old browser, Reno. So everybody can see that one. All right. Transphobes by looking good. Take that, transphobes. Yeah. Take that. I bet you weren't expecting that, transphobes. I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.

It's like what I, it's like what I imagine a young, like a young, Hank Hill, if he were trans. Yeah, trans, like with the hands hill, with like the beer gut, you know, it's the right shame. Henrietta Hill, Henrietta Hill. I guess, I don't know. I'm outraged, I'm outraged.

Oh God, don't do this every day. Don't take pictures every day. We'll be, the transphubs will be defeated. We'll be the transphobes. We'll be defeated. We'll be driven from the land by this. Whatever it is, bikini top sports bra. Oh, I need sports bra Taylor bag. I'm so watch this to watch this.

So can you really take stand up my mouth? I'm very confused. She's a mother. This this. Yeah. Yeah, happy mother's day. Yeah, happy mother's day to you. Sorry, a mother. This, this, yeah. Yeah, happy mother's day. Yeah, happy mother's day to you. Sorry, happy birthday.

Happy birth givers day. Okay, fuck it. That's more like it, isn't it? Let's, uh, gin up your chest milk orbs or flats. Whatever you have. Chest milk. Warm up those chest milkers. Yeah.

And get ready to celebrate birth givers day. That's too much actually. That's bigoted. Whole used whole day, used front whole day. Good. God. That's what we're going to call it. I want to see that card. Happy happy battered front. A whole happy used front hall day. battered front whole happy used front whole day

who all the Berthers out there Butter up your chest melkers your beat up halls Here comes dick I'm just so enraged by this woman Posting this picture of herself looking good. I'm so enraged Welcome to the you want to give you to give you got this the show of the contest coming you live from out I'm working even the hardest to do failure. I mean how is it imagine?

Okay, it's $20 million van motor to man van the 20 million your mountain, I'm on the top of your heart, so you feel like a f***er. I mean, how's it going? I think it's $20 million van motor, van. The $20 million van. I've got a periscope in here, it flies. It's got an auto jack mechanism. Soundproof walls. Soundproof walls. That's what you need in your van. $20 million rape van.

Yeah. $770 Shag carpet. It says headshots free on the side. And I drive it up and down, up and down Hollywood. Well, headshots free. Get your free headshots here. Then you come in and put the lotion on your skin and find out it's a face shot. This is a headshot. Well, it is. That's what it is. Voted America's worst Mexican, I don't know, 100 and that's what it is. That's what it is.

Something weeks running a long time, long time. During these always is world touring, LA based comedian, Shawnee, out of the engineer. Hello, Dick. What's up buddy? I think your sobriety is having an effect on me. Is it? Is it making you want to drink? No, I just feel out of sorts.

Out of sorts? Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. That's what sobriety will do to you. Yeah. I'm telling you, life fits like a, like a greased up Vaseline sock when your sober for too long. It's not.

You would know. Yeah. You would know. I guess. I think. I don't know. I don't know. Um, you know what?

I'll tell you what, I spent, I spent the whole day. You might have seen that I had a couple of grill pieces laying in my driveway. I did it, actually, they look pretty damn clean. Oh, for me. Well, yeah, no, I mean, those are clean. And it's not like you get rid of all the, you know, like Mad Cux was talking about like the flavor.

Yeah, no, I get it. Those things are seasoned to fuck, you know? It's like, but it's like, yeah, you gotta scrape off, because otherwise it just, just smokes. It just literally, like, it takes forever to burn off. Like you just get the loose shit off. I have my grill hat and it's coming up on grilling season, you know, Memorial Day is the start of white boy summer. Start of white boy summer. Are you, I am fucking ready for white boy summer. I'm reading all about hedge funds and dealerships right now Yeah, I can launch headfirst into white boy summer

You're having a party. Yeah, I'm gonna be out of town. Oh, you you should be out of town Strolling into white boy summer fashionably late by two weeks. That's Sean. Yeah, you're gonna be out of town What the 23rd couple weeks? 30th 30th we've got vetoito and Johnny will be guest hosting. Oh, cool. I need both of them to make up for you. I'll be honest. Both Johnny and Vito, the two different sides.

They're good. We're gonna do a Vito and I are gonna do a kind of a mini biggest problem. Oh. We do, Ollie's here. We're gonna bring in problems. And we're gonna do our best to try and have as many behind the scenes difficulties as possible in arguments, but we're gonna vote on them. You like the old days?

Like the old days. Right. Something to distract people from you not being here. That's what I call that move. It'll be fine. It'll be great. And if you're one of those, if you're one of those people that hates veto and needs everybody to know about it, I encourage you to watch veto's conversation with this fat 20-year-old girl that he had on TikTok.

This 20-year-old girl was saying that she's going to cancel him. And she's going to cancel veto? Yeah, because someone's a pedophile, something. I mean, who should write you? Right. So veto calls her up on TikTok. It just reminds me of a head. It's like at the end of the day, this whole thing,

it's gonna be like over tired children who are trying to stay away going, Nazi. Petapile. Not. Who's that? Who's the Nazi? Petapile. Petapile.

Not see. Petapile. Just, you know, and like. Like Halloween candy. If you're a petapile, please know, and totally. Like Halloween candy. If you're a petafile, please take one of these castigations. Yeah. They've just been, you know, like fighting the entire day.

And finally, they just fall asleep like on each other. Oh, yeah. And then they wake up and have sex. So Vito ends this interview by calling this saying that he, not only does he hate white women, but he calls the girl fat to her face. Vito, I don't know. I if you know, I disavow. I can't say that kind of stuff. I think we might be a bad influence on female.

She's like, well, you're at this, you're at this, you're a misogynist and he goes, well, hold on, because I am a misogynist. I hate white women, especially fat ones like, it's really funny. ones like you, it's really funny. Really? Yeah, it's really funny. This was an interview? Yeah, oh yeah, I guess. I thought he just made like a journalist.

Like a journalist. I thought he just did a movie shit. Telling you we're a bad influence on him. Wow, I called into his show and we watched the whole thing. This is hysterical. God, I gotta check that out. It's on his channel currently. Yeah, oh, here's check that out. It's on his channel currently. Yeah.

Oh, here's something that also makes me, oh man, I don't even, I'm getting to too much gross stuff right in front. So he's coming in, we're gonna do it. Last week was a gross episode. Was it? Yeah, wait. Why, what are you talking about?

We're talking about, you know, we had the guy call in with the, with the condition. And then something else about, yeah, we were talking about shitting in leaves and, was that the bonus? And there was something else that was, because I remember the comments,

and he's like, this is a disgusting episode. It's disgusting. Yeah, you're really is. Sorry. Hey, here's, hey, this episode is dedicated to all the moms out there who are posting Happy Mother's Day to themselves on Facebook, then set with a little, they didn't get enough, not enough, not enough, not enough baby pictures on there.

Happy Mother's Day to Myself, there's another baby big, oh god! Couldn't go a day, couldn't you? Couldn't let somebody else do it for you. Yeah. This is a happy Mother's Day to Myself. Just wanted to celebrate this beautiful bundle of joy on this Mother's Day to Myself. Just wanted to celebrate this beautiful bundle of joy on this Mother's Day to Myself. You crass bitch. That voice from the front hole.

Yeah. Oh, hi, Maddie. You know, they're new in that. They just inventing new ways to be inseparable. Happy Mother's Day to Myself. It's been such a long, long time. Man, good old social media. I myself has been such a man, you know, I mean, I'm scared. Um, man. Good old social media.

What was I talking to the grill? The grill, yeah. So my grill was so, why boy, summer? My grill was so impacted with debris impacted. Because I left him a gross medical term. I've never, I've never cleaned it. I hate, and then I left it on. Like it's worst. I left it on the golem.

I passed out. Yeah, I went to sleep, and I left the grill on. So, my grill is basically, it looks like a pizza stone. All the way, it's a heat shield. The space shuttle has a worse heat shield than what is my grill. Yeah. So, I decided to clean it.

I'm like, oh, I'm gonna buckle down and be like Sean. I'm having a B-L-I-S-S-S-S-S- know. It's a same goddamn, it's a fire there. And aluminum grill up here. What do you, what's the difference? I think it's ceramic coated. I screw up. No, I know what you mean. What is it? Well, I know what infrared is. No, I know.

Stupid me. I thought it would be infrared. Yeah. Not idiot for red. There's other ones that have like, like the edges. I don't know if it's like, yeah, I don't know, because it's, yeah, I know, I know. Oh, it's infrared, asterisks, asterisks for retards.

Oh, so it's like a regular, like the air fryer. Here's what you've seen on air fryer. Oh, you mean an oven, an air fryer. Well, it fries it, Jerry, and what does it fry it in? Well, the air. Do you know how a fucking fryer works? Well, I don't know, but the oven does. I mean, the fryer does.

The people who build the fryer, no. Yeah. It's an oven. It's a little mid to oven. Yeah. Stop calling it a fucking air fryer. Yeah. It's not a fryer.

You're marketing. Although I will say whatever it is, it does cook. The one that I have, well, I think it's the same brand as yours. Yeah. I think it's a little bit, maybe the same size, maybe a little bit smaller. It does cook faster. It's taken me a while to fucking get used to the settings and stuff where it's like, God, damn it.

That's cook fast. Yeah, it does. So, I mean, whatever it's doing, however it's doing it, it is different than a regular propane grill. Mine takes about an hour to cook a hot dog because I have so much, because mine is, it's shaped like a hump. Cause I have left so much shit on, cause I've never cleaned it one time. Like I'm gonna get in there.

I'm gonna fucking get it. I ordered all this goo-gon stuff. I got all my tools. Goo-gon. Goo-gon for grills. It's goo-gril-gril-goog-gon. Oh man. I ordered a grill.

I ordered a vat of grill-goog-gon. Oh, if you're serious about that. I'm serious. So I could soak it in there, and there's no way this shit is coming out. This is fossilized. There's absolutely no way I could sit out there with a hammer and chisel and write the 10 commandments in the top of my grill.

That's how bad my grill'smanship is. I'm not starting white boys' summer like that. So I get some grill-googon. That's so good. Not in this house. Soak it, making a mess. Like, oh, it's okay, it's all gonna be worth it. It's all gonna be worth it. It's all gonna be worth it.

I spent hours soaking, chiseling. I get out the dremel. I get out the polishing and cleaning, brandishing one of the dremel and lay in there. I get the fucking, the carving diamond, going in the diamond, crust tip. Getting worse, upping my dremel. Every single one,

because I'm carving through what is, because I'm carving through what is, because I'm carving through an indestructible amount of failure. You can see that I left on the grill. The layers of sediment. Yeah, I'm carving, you're basically dating the, yeah, going back through. Yeah, that was rough time.

Oh boy. It's screaming as I'm trying to chisel it out of there. And finally I realized I've spent, that was my strange vegetarian dog phase. Spent six hours trying, I'm in the front yard, hosing it down, realizing that I've done basically nothing. And then I'm gonna end up with a destroyed, dented chiseled out grill.

Why am I fucking, why am I doing this? Why did I even try? So I go look up, look up the chiseled out grill. Why am I fucking, why am I doing this? Why did I even try? So I go look up, look up the cost of a new grill. It's like $17 a plate. Like I just spent six hours trying to metaphorically salvage my life instead of spending $54 to just get a new one idiot. Why didn't you look it up in the first place once again?

Well, what you got in the front yard looks fine. It looks like I put the good one on top. Really? The middle one is a disaster. I'll show you. I'll show you. Wasted all that time for nothing. For nothing, Sean.

For nothing. Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. Happened to me. Elon Musk has Asperger's. How about that? Was that shocker of the century? I read about that. Wow, amazing.

But he came out and say, you came out of the Asperger's closet on, so you know, well, you know, I mean, how about that? So I make you more or less confident in his rocket appliances and cars. Uh, you know, I don't know. I just think that he's in love with attention. Oh, you think?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, you think being like modern space, G, you know, he fucking, he fucking said this on Twitter. Somebody said, I feel like Dogecoin is like a stimulus that Elon made for the people. And he replied, I think it's like that too.

What the fuck, why are you doing this to these? Why are you lying to these people? You said something flattering about me? Well, I love you. I love you. Well, what do you think about? I've seen this before, again, before the hair plugs and the notoriety and all that. I'm sure the dude was a complete dork, right?

So I don't necessarily blame him or somebody like Tyson or Bill Nye, where they were guys who they would never get pop culture famous. Yeah. And now they all are and they love it. They do love it. Everybody likes to, you know, the validation and like, oh, you're so great and you're like,

it can get to almost anybody if you're not aware of it all the time. Everybody loves you, Tendon. Everybody loves it. So, well, I'm not, Doug. Yeah. Last week, I saw a fan making bikers in the woods off 17, having sex.

How am I supposed to JEP with that kind of distraction? Hey, John, here's a, he's one of the coolest people to work with, I will say. That's, I know it sounds like a name dropping thing, but it's like, but he's cool. He's cool as fuck. I bet he's real fucking cool. He probably had a great time with him, Sean.

Wish I could have had a great time with Shooter McGavin. Yeah, Tess Holliday, do you remember her? Yeah, or it. Identifies pronouns are good and year. The great big fat woman, Tess Holliday has announced this week that she's an anorexic and in recovery from anorexia. This was done with a straight-ish face,

straight in the cartesian coordinates. I'm anorexic and in recovery. I'm not ashamed to see it out loud anymore. I'm the result of a culture that celebrates thinness and equates that to worth, but I get to write my own narrative now. I'm finally able to care for a body that I've punished my entire life.

And I'm finally free. Test holiday weighs about 600 pounds. Is an anorexia with a straight face from her to you. From God's big fat lips to your ears. I'm anorexic and I'm in recovery. How much recovery do you plan on doing? She could identify it.

700 fucking pounds. She could identify as anorexia. Me too. Oh man, I get wasted. When I get wasted, I'm bright and I, oh fuck my anorexia. My anorexia really hits hard and I go to the pantry and get everything I can carry. Open bags of chips that are already open, don't count. Yeah.

I'm going through those. I'll open a new bag. Yeah. Go right through that one to fend off the spirits of this wicked anorexia that have a hold on me. Yeah. Fucking anorexia. Get the hell out of here with that. Yeah, nothing on that. That hold on me. Yeah. Fucking anorexia. Get the hell out of here with that.

Yeah, nothing on that. That's too much. Yeah, it's a little, yeah, it's a little overwhelming. Uh, here is, no, no, I think I don't know who Test Holiday is. Oh, really? Yeah. He pull up a picture or I think, um, what is she, what is she, what is she, what is she,

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You don't know test holiday? I know only from the ship. I brought her up a car. She was in Cosmo. That's okay. Cosmo, Cosmo cover. You don't remember this, oil?

Yes. You remember? I remember that. I remember the cover. Yes. You remember I know. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that I remember the cover. I remember it's like it was yesterday. Yeah. There it was. Here it was. Anorexic. She's the poster girl for anorexia. Right. Is what I'm saying. I mean, she say why didn't they go all the way and just do a two piece? I mean, two piece, two piece suit. I mean, you, you proud, aren't you? I just want to announce that I am an anorexia and I'm more. Oh, I got more fat news. I would love to just do a fat roundup.

She needs to be adopted by a pod. Yes, you know, yeah. Well, animals, animal humor for you. Here is, here's what the LA Times has to say about COVID. A lot of people sent me this, so I'm gonna read it. Fat shaming, BMI and alienation. COVID-19 brought a new stigma to large size. I'm going to read it, fat shaming, BMI and alienation. COVID-19 brought a new stigma to large size.

What are, it reminded them that they're unhealthy and more prone to medical. I mean, I don't know, I didn't read the article yet. Crystal bowling ball cried after the needle went into her arm, not because her first dose of the Moderna vaccine hurt, but because finally being fat actually paid off. Because it's a pre-existing condition. They're high arrests, right?

So they, yeah. I don't know if I can, she prefers bowling ball medical record at Kaiser shows that she's morbidly obese as an activist. She prefers the word fat. Oh, I bet. Take it back. Can you yell fat in a crowded theater? Is that legal? Her experience with medical standard providers.

Right? Same thing, right? Fat. Yeah, exactly. Watch out! Fat! Yeah. That's illegal, man. You cannot yell fat in a crowded theater. Her experience with medical providers

has been one incident of size stigma after another. She said like the time she went in with a scratched cornea and was tall to lose weight. Well, I mean, that's still good advice. It is. She's two, oh, God, she's 233 pounds. And it's probably her own doctor.

That's, it's probably her own doctor too, went in with the scratch cornea, like, hey, I can, hey, and also, you're here as way big fat fuck. Well, yeah, let's take your blood pressure, let's take, you know, like the regular vitals, it's like, look, you lose weight, that's not like, it wasn't like,

that's not entirely unsolicited. Sean, if I go, you went into a doctor, that's kind of like what they should tell you every time you go in. Look, you know, your blood pressure is high, your prediabetic. She fails to mention that she scratched her cornea by fighting over a chicken bone with another fat woman at hometown. Oh boy.

That's why it was apropos. For that, she fears being hospitalized. This is, by the way, a new stigma to large sized people. Yeah. Large sized. Mm-hmm. Large. She fears being hospitalized with COVID-19 and unable to advocate for herself.

For that reason, I decided you know what? I'm not going to feel guilty about getting vaccinated. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to apologize for it. Why would? Why would that even cross your mind? Have you seen people who still wear masks outside, by the way, just ignoring the science? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Ignoring the science of the CDC saying you don't have to wear masks. Yeah, but you know by doing it, I've let you own scientific conclusion. I've let you ride the last couple of weeks on that. You know, their advice is if you are vaccinated, right? Yeah. I've vaccinated. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I promise you, they are vaccinated. Yeah. The people who are still wearing them, you know, you're probably right. Yeah. Um, I'm not going to apologize. I couldn't do my job. I'm an electron blah, blah, blah.

Um, I don't know if this is funny. Well, every, is that the red light is funny? Something for free because we're fat, says bowling ball, who launched a YouTube channel called Fat Product. They're cramming crispy creams and pancakes and syrup down the throats of these Leviathins when they get their shot. Have you seen that?

I have. McDonald's is like, they're giving, they get their shot. Have you seen that? I have. McDonald's is like, they're giving like, you know, they're doing promos and stuff like that. I heard the Krispy Kreme promo or whatever. All you can eat, if you get vaccinated, then you come over to Krispy Kreme and we'll, we'll, we got the cream machine.

We'll hook it up to every orifice you got. Right. Just come to the full of it. Just come to the full of it. Right. Until you say our goal. Um, the virus is, I don't know if that's a great, you know, what, is that not a good ad? I mean, it'll get people to get vaccinated,

but you know, we do, we have an obesity problem in this country, there's no doubt about it. I mean, do you think that there's like people at home who is watching to my flammery on, who was my free crispy green? I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, there's like people at home who is watching to play on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on on free on free on free on free on free on on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on free on says Bolin ball. I don't know, I don't know, the coronavirus pandemic has accentuated yawning in equities in American life, disparities in race and fattenacity, poverty and privilege. Black and Latino communities have been among the hardest hit with death rates alarmingly higher than among white people.

I don't like how they, how they're putting it that everybody is the same kind of victim. Oh, yeah. They're like everybody is as victimized as everybody else, I guess, unless you look like us, I've been the most victimized, you know, relatively in shape, young-ish, you know, in shape without going too far. Right. In shape to a degree where I don't have to talk, tell you all about how I'm in shape. Yeah. Right. If I was more in shape, I'd want to talk about it all the time. The Bill Murray in shape from Groundhog shape. Yeah. Right. If I was more in shape, I'd want to talk about it all the time. The bill Murray in shape from Groundhog Day.

Yeah. It says, you know, I have a good body and sometimes I go months without looking. Yeah. You know, the virus is underscored yet another serious iniquity. Studies link higher body man, BMI with increased risk for severe COVID-19, including higher rates of hospitalization. Oh, yeah. For sure. Other research shows weight bias. Can he larger body people from seeking larger body?

That's, I mean, that could be an NBA player. Larger body, like these, these euphemisms. Yeah. The same time the pandemic is highlighted clash between the medical establishment and the fat acceptance movement. That's, that movement's still going. Man, that movement started in like 2005. Fat acceptance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The family. The family. The family. The family. Yeah.

They're family. The good because every dinner is a Thanksgiving dinner. That's why they call it the fam movement between those who use clinical terms such as obesity and overweight and those who proudly describe themselves as large-bodied people of size or POS fat and even super fat. And then how about the, how about the third heat? Come on, where's the detractors who call them fatty fat tits? Tubbo, right. Tons of fun, right. Blimpie, planet, Lardo, mountain mama, mountain,

my, Lardo. That's where I start singing country roads, country roads. And then you're like, what do you mean I love this song? Mountain mama right there, boom. Yeah. Right. Uh, blah, blah, blah. More than, I can't, I don't care. That's enough of this. Let me see what else. They're taking, they're going after beef, Sean. I know. You do know that? Yeah, yeah.

You believe that one? Well, they're coming after beef. Yeah, no, I mean, they in them are. I do. The world. I do. And you know who's gonna, and those people who are going after beef,

they're the ones that are gonna have beef. The rest of us are, the rest of us are gonna have the synthetic beef. Methane. Methane point. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The people who are advocating going on to synthetic beef, I'm having beef.

They're always going to have beef. Yeah. Methane emissions must be cut by almost half during the next decade to avoid the worst effects of climate change. According to a new UN report the concludes is the most powerful lever to slow global warming in the next term. It's cows. It's cows.

Yeah, cow for it. Five and a half. So half of the beef that you eat, that is the conclusion here, right? I mean, you got, you shut your business down. You shut your entire life down. They're shutting, they're 100% shutting the beef down. If they've gotten away with this thus far.

I don't know, maybe that. Ugh, let me find, the WEF is also posting about eating bugs. W-E-F, the world economic forum. Oh, yeah. Fucking specter, the real life specter. I don't know where it is, I'll find a later. Okay, let's see here. Test holiday.

Anorexic. That's precious. $80 billion to the IRS. Oh yeah, that's a good one. Let me find that one. $80 billion to the IRS, biting is given. Biting is six to give $80 billion to bolster the IRS tax enforcement.

Well, great. Administration estimates the plans would generate 700 billion. Yeah. Generate. Generate. Generate. Shake down.

Generating this. I posted this, I was complaining about it. A bunch of morons said, oh yeah, it's a real shame that the rich people won't be allowed to keep their money. I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute. You think that the most vulnerable people text wise are the rich, they're a fucking point dexter, fucking Johnny think it through. Is that what you think that the, that they're spending 80, that they're going to 10 times

their investment by going after the fucking rich? Yeah. You know, rich people taxes work. It's, hey, did you sell any of your stocks this year? No. Yeah. Well, then I'll see you next year. Yeah.

Uh, goodbye. Meanwhile, um, small businesses, yeah, who have been almost, almost completely destroyed the ever shrinking, the ever shrinking middle class is going to take the brunt of this like it always completely destroyed. Yeah. A subsist, barely, a subsisting barely on obscure payment, payment roll loans or grants or whatever, or whatever the state eventually decides that they are audits go somewhat differently. It's, hey, did you pay your fucking workers comp?

Did you pay your insurance? Did you pay your Medicare for all these employees? Are you paying? Are you making sure you filed all the forms correctly? Because that's going to cost you. Did you pay your payment insurance? Did you pay for your paying license on this? What about your liquor licenses?

That in good standing? Do you have all kinds of, do you have all of your safety documentation down? By the way, did you, do you know, we're raising minimum wage from nothing to compete with massive subsidies at all levels, squeezing you out slowly from the bottom

so that there is no point in even starting your business anymore Being cheered on by mega corporations that run entire newspapers because they're the only ones that can afford what's left Do you see the a not see how do you not see how they're so blatantly squeezing you out? It's it's infuriating to see anybody che it on. I see all of the way that you, well, you know, maybe, maybe small businesses could make, well, they're complaining about not being able to hire waiters and waitresses, but maybe they should pay more. When I see a headline like that, my first thought, I will read it and look into it, but I always think that's aimed at me to convince you. What do you mean? No, I I mean like that. Well, the, no, not to

con just that money is going to be used at me. Yeah. That's the, it's not going, no, not going to hit rich people. No. Well, I'll have accountants that used to work at the IRS. That's right. It's going after you. Yeah. Exactly. Because you've got money to burn. And it's sad because they can. They can because we're up. Yeah, because they can because it's easy. It's, it reminds me of a, if you get like a, so you got a shopping mall, right? Sure. We have those shopping mall.

You have a shopping mall. You used to have them. And they'll have, they'll have restaurant spots, right? They'll have their hot restaurant spots. Yeah, sure. And you go ask them, well, how much is the fucking pop up a month in there for I'm gonna put a new restaurant in there. I'm an average guy.

People around the community know me. How much new restaurant in there? They'll come back with, oh, 50,000 a month. What the, for the, for the space restaurant can fit there. The only kind are gigantic chains. The only available, The only available spots, whatever employees anymore are gonna be available to mega corporations and chains like Amazon.

Amazon loves minimum wage because they're the only ones that can afford it. Yeah. It's too bad. It's too bad and it's too bad to see people cheering it on because they don't know any better. But there you go. That's looking forward to that. That's what makes me crazy. How about, oh, J. Scott Campbell. Who do you know that is? J. Scott Campbell. Yeah, let me

find it. Anytime I see either J. Scott Campbell, either an author or an assassin. Jay Scott Campbell's artist. I just think comic book artist. So he drew, oh, that's problematic. Oh yeah. That's Spider-Man, Spider-Man. I don't know why every Spider-Man. Oh, the Spider-Man. I don't know why it's always Spider-Man.

Superman's kid. Yeah. Spider-Man cover. I don't know the Spider-Man's. I don't know why it's always Spider-Man's kid. Yeah. Spider-Man cover. I don't know the Spider-Man's, the other. By the way, do you know they're looking for a black Superman? Vito told me about it. I mean, no, I didn't know that and it's not surprising at all.

How is a black guy gonna be that lame? See, Superman's cannot dance. You look at that guy, like there's no So Superman's, Superman cannot dance. You look that guy, like there's no, that's a fucking way you can dance. Yeah, see, I, yeah, Superman, I don't. Impossible. Yeah, I don't, I don't really like Superman. He's a dick.

He's a goody-to-shoes. He's like, you know, how is a black guy gonna be that lame to be Superman? He'd have to work really hard. He's like Wayne Brady. Is he gonna be like, a good ex-man? You know, like, remember a denotification?

What's that? Well, that's what they, that's what kind of the allies did to, you know, they went through denotification programs, like trying to basically re-indctrinate You know Nazis or people, you know who are members of the party or like you know So you know like a like a course they take Yeah, I mean more. Yeah, I don't know if it was an official type thing or whatever

But that term was was thrown around and and a lot, but it's like, you've got to, it's like dehipification. You got to make them way lamer than he is. He's horrified. Yeah. So this is the original J. Scott. Now, you can see, Sean, there's a number of reasons why this would be unacceptable for a, what is she holding a cup of coffee? Oh, it is a color. I see. Yep. Hot cup of coffee. She's got some tits there sitting in a provac. Got hips over here. We know. I mean, I don't know if she's she's overcome her anorexia, I assume, because she's because she's very thin and doesn't look like the last person I saw who had a fight to the death with anorexia. That's like a pre-fight. A fight to the

best holidays, like bulking up for about the anorexia. Yeah, yeah. This summer, she's got it in reserve. Yeah, I mean, she's going to make it through multiple winters. Yeah. Like, oh, you're going to have to fight. Like, Tess, you're going to have to fight anorexia in six months. What are you going to do?

She's got a montage of just downing corn dogs. Yeah, that's just like, just sticking them in and just like pulling it through her lips like the end of a popsicle or something, they're just gone, you know? She doesn't even eat them, just eating sausages. I, yeah, yeah. And then pulling off the casing, I'm atty.

That's what I see. That's what I imagine when she says she's been fighting anorexia. Yeah, like up, here's round two. So this is just fighting anorexia. Yeah, up like up. Here's round two. So this is fighting anorexia for a town. So this, so some jackass, right? Here's what he does. Let me see if I can get the actual. Somebody fixed it. Here is the, let me get, honey, can you get her out of here? She opens doors now like a raptor like she stands up and You're gonna pull the whole

She might just sit there okay if you're fine with it. Oh, I'm good. She might just sit there. I don't know She just get tangled up on these cords is the oh god Here is oh no, she's all messed up all right pause Maddie get out of here What is she carrying a leash so she had the She had the leash on in the studio Taking herself for a walk. How could that possibly right all right? Okay, I think it's right there right there. It is yeah Take yourself taking yourself for a walk. How could that possibly? Right. All right. Okay. I think it's right there, right?

There it is. Yeah. Doesn't that look great? See what they've done is they've moved her arms out. Yeah. I guess. So she's not squeezing her tits together. And obviously it's not as low cut.

Yeah. She's not as cut in her waist. Yeah. No, her waist is obviously wider. I gotta get a zoom in though. Yeah. So then, Jay's got Campbell refixed. There's like what? What?

Clap back. For the moment I heard it, I hate that term. Yeah, me too. It's so fucking annoying. It's obnoxious. I hate all terms. I hate all terms made in like the last like 10 years. I hate any term that as so-

So it's a claps back at. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fucking. Does anybody have a goal into the fix? Oh, yeah, that was another one again. Yeah, well, you see what happens. No, I do.

I just made here a tabo or whatever, a normal looking woman with legs close together. Well, it's definitely hotter than that's definitely still hotter than a normal looking woman. Not for, I mean, Spider-Man could do better. They could look at the like, ah, I think I could do better than a Spider-Man could definitely do better than that. Spider-Man, they they change her fit. They didn't really change her face at all, appreciably. No, they found the face to be entirely realistic. Yeah. Right.

Right. Is this the fix? Oh, yeah. So this is the fix. This is the fix up here in the corner. Yeah. And then he went through and fixed the fix, I guess. Yeah.

I guess you're not allowed to have, no one's allowed to have tits anymore. Mm. I don't know who that audience is. I don't know who that one is appealing to. I'll go, is I guess? Guys who want to fuck a guy, I don't know. Well, that happened, Sean.

Okay, let me see what else I got here. And then Adam from Houston's calling in. Cool. Prison stories? Yeah, prison stories. Oh, yeah, prison stories. T-t-t- You know those that PDFs that I'm sure it is. Yeah. How about that shit? I mean, I'm not surprised.

Well, you know, the FBI had to chime in. Yeah. They're starting to do busts on illegal cards. Sure. That's as, you know, predictable as can be. Well, it's weird. It's odd to me because everybody, I assume 20% of the people who got those dumb cards have lost them already.

Yeah. I mean, I haven't looked up like what you do in that case. When you lose them, yeah. Well, they have no record of them at where you got the shot. Well, I mean, they're supposed to while they don't. They have news for you. So what makes you say that they wouldn't have her checked? They don't have hers, really? And as they're signing a good old all over the world, people, what makes you, what makes you say that they wouldn't have her checked? They don't have hers, really?

And, and as they're sighing, all over the world, all over the world, people are just getting them, right? Like in a mad panic, the homeless people that are getting fucking anoculated, they got nothing. People just going in without any kind of identification, like, they don't have throughout the world. I'm sure there's lots of that. So here's, here's my question, right?

Because we're not dropping this idea of having a digital dictatorship, a medical records in an invasive medical record passport, right? You're not allowed to use our services unless you've been vaccinated. Isn't crypto kind of like a tracking too? I mean, crypto, what do you mean? Like if you think about it, like it's like, because that's, won't it know whose computer all that shit goes through? I mean, isn't that what you use for tracking also? Well, it can. So here's the thing.

If you get, if you get, it depends what crypto crins you're talking about. If you get Bitcoin, it's Ethereum, through an exchange, where it has KYS requirements, know your customer requirements, where you have to submit your driver's license, then they know your address, and they can track what you do forever. That's a money.

That's just what I mean. It's just another way to, that's something that you're giving up more information about yourself. Well, that's Bitcoin. Yeah. Which is why all of that fud about how it's kidnapping and extortion is shit is retarded.

It's the other way. It's the other way. It's the way, if you're doing illegal shit on Bitcoin, you're on an idiot. Yeah, right. Anyway, that's just an error. That was just for my own, yeah. Yeah, okay.

And that's a big problem too. You was just for my own. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a big problem too. You can get Bitcoin other ways, cash, whatever. But it still, it has some element of traceability to it. So here's my question. If we're insisting on the medical passports. Yeah. And a bunch of people are not tracked already and lost their card or whatever.

Right. One is the fucking only, the only solution to that is to do it again, but this time have everybody in the database, right? The obvious solution to a autocratic maniac who like a tyrannical government is to say, you know what? Well, you got to get three shots anyway. When the booster comes around, this time we're gonna track it, right?

In the computer in a database that will hand wave away hip and actually track it well this time. Yeah, well, yeah. So, get your cards. Man, I gotta go, I gotta go, well, I can go, uh, I don't do nothing about, um, let's see here. Condemciles, skyrocket, the original mask.

Do I, did I have this? Let me see if I have this. All right, let's do some comments. I don't know, maybe I got other stuff in there, but whatever. Recording voice chat. The emergency vaccine for kids, did you see that? No.

This shit is just, it's child abuse. It's fucking horrible. Pfizer to seek emergency use authorization for its COVID vaccine. Oh, for children ages two to 11, where it's zero point zero mortality rate. Okay, but what emergency use is granted by the FDA? ages two to 11 where it's zero point zero mortality. That's okay. But what emergency use is granted by the FDA

for like, it's not, so it's not fully approved. It's, I think what they're looking for is if the kid is high risk or something like that has like a big fact cannot immune disorder, something like that. They're saying is it okay to use in that situation? Because that's like what emergency use, that's what emergency use is. How would a kid like if they're all like,

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, or something that they can't do. I don't know enough about what kids that young are high risk. Seek emergency use authorization for a, okay, so emergency use only. Yes. Oh, man. The second they allow it for all kids, it's all kids are getting vaccinated whether they want to or not.

They already lost the anti-vax. All right. Luke Armstrong, road rage, NOLA. You said about road rage, NOLA on the last episode. Please do it. I cannot think of a better place to do an end of COVID lockdown rager than in New Orleans. That's how you say it. Yeah.

New Orleans. Side note, Halloween is coming. Hi, I'm Pepple. Oh, yo. Halloween is during the weekend this year, by the way. Nola Plus Halloween is always a huge party. Thanks and go for all your own. All right, maybe.

I don't know. Systemic misogyny, Anglen, they says, he says they call it the patriarchy. And it's, oh. True. Yeah, dead on. Good point. Yep, you got it.

Dr. Rock, dearest, take it. Tell you it makes me rage. Shop supplies. I go to pick up my car after getting some basic work done on it, just an oil change and tire rotation, and they stick this extra charge on there. Shop supplies. So I ask, what is that?

What do you think it is? Shulls and shit. Shop supply. That's a very vague toilet paper. You're adding toilet paper. Isn't that kind of like part of the fucking, just like, I know you're charging me more than what you pay. You pencil dick idiot. And the girl nice cans, shapely medium to large, is like, I know you're charging me more than what you pay. You pencil dick idiot.

Right. And the girl nice cans, shapely medium to large, is like, thank you. Well, we see we printed a receipt for you. Got to charge you. That receipt is free. Well, that's what I mean, it's .00. It's worth .00 doge coins. Carbon tax or, you know, I don't know.

Ah, you know what? What? I'm going to complain about comics, Kate, but I don't, I'm done with it. Paper towels. Oh yeah, and the girl nice cans, shapely, medium to large, is like, oh, you know what? Oh, you know, that's paper towels and stuff, stuff like that. Boy, that's real, that was the answer. That was a shop supplies charge.

What? At a fucking, at a garage? Yeah. Paper towels. $15. What the fuck? Yeah. Paper towels. $15, what the fuck? That's your responsibility. Not mine.

I mean, just increase your price or something. I'll hide it in there. You must, but don't charge me for your paper towels. And don't tell me about it. Don't tell me about it. How the fuck did you use $15 worth of paper towels on my car? Did you have a big circle jerk and clean it up with them? That's a big circle jerk. That's your cost of doing business, not my problem.

What about toilet paper? How are you? Wow. My fans of the show really do. We do really think the same. Want me to go pick up some Kleenex for you? All good there. You want a coffee? How about some Starbucks and get you all a $10 cup of coffee? Age. You hungry? Let's go get some sushi. What about Lou? Should I pay for all the Lou, while I bend over, and you all take terms, fucking me in the ass!

Shop supplies, go fuck yourself, fuck you dig fuck you shun. Yeah. Shop supplies. I've never seen that. I've never seen that or heard of that. But we've probably all been charged for shit like that for years, and they just weren't dumb enough to itemize it.

Well, like Vegas has that, had that resort fee forever. What's a resort fee? 40 bucks. No, what is it though? That's whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Resort fee. It's probably something that I just never looked at. Fuck off. Resort fee. Dr. Rock, thank you. Dear Dick show crew, hopefully this gets read on the show. Sitting in a red light and right in front of me is a pickup truck caked in bumper stickers. Anyone with more than zero bumper stickers in their car is a drag on society. But man, this might have been the funniest personal life. He has a ton of pronated American stickers and I'm a proud, comanshi tribal member crap. As I'm reading all these one catches my eye, the bottom left corner has a sticker that says red lives matter.

Oh, wow. And the irony made my brain stop breaking. It's like one of three in the world. I mean, cops that killed a, no, no, just of those stickers. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's just making them. I mean, yeah. What colors are we missing?

Well, let's all look for lives matter, all lives matter, red lives matter. How many people, like purple lives, is there a purple? Do you know anybody? Do you know anybody, do you know anybody like with Native American blood or heritage or I do? Do you? Yeah, I have Native American because they don't actually have a DNA profile for that. So they like, they like fudge the Mexican one.

Well, but also, also the thing from, well, I've read a lot of the, a lot of the like tribes and stuff. It isn't necessarily like blood or direct descendants, like it's a cultural thing too. Like they will give you like, if you were raised, like they will give like, like dances with wolves. There are white people with like who can claim according to them, like, yeah, like Native American

heritage. It's a really weird thing. It's not like you think, oh, there must be like DNA or something. It's like not in all cases, according to their customs and their, what they consider Native American. I'll tell you this, I don't know if I'll try this or whatever. My great, great, great, great grandfather, whatever. Right. And his... The Frenchman. Wife.

He was, I think he was Swedish. Yeah. Way, way back. My dad's way, way, way, way back. One of them, grandpa. Yeah. And his wife, the wife, he was, he was Swedish. Look, Swedish fucks tall as hell.

Yeah. That's where the my Mexican side gets hyped. That's true. And because you're tall and your dad's really tall. His wife looked like Geronimo with a bow. Yeah, many miles with a bow and then it's Mickey looks like straight up like you know, okay, is this like pictures from like the late 1800s or like really, yeah, I got a buddy.

Yeah. They didn't have only fans back then. I take it. Rough life. Sorry, ancestors, you know, whatever. But that's, and the irony made my brain stop working. Just like the episode of South Park when Cartlin sees people with asses for faces,

I could not laugh because it's not funny at all. Too much. Lack of self-awareness is hysterical. Wouldn't the red cops be shooting red lives? Because they have like tribal police. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, again, going back to, I'm trying to think if I know anybody,

like any like, for real Native Americans, like I, you know, there's so few of them. Yeah, I am. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I or, you know, oh yeah. You gotta go in the reservation. Yeah. Go out to Lake Powell or something. Okay, let's see here. Weight loss contest. Hey, Dick, I don't wanna waste your time with a long email. But I wanted to say thanks for starting the weight loss contest.

I started at 320. The first way and I lost eight pounds. The second week I hurt my back and didn't get any exercise. Normally I walk my dogs for one hour every day, but I still managed to lose a few more pounds. So now I'm 309. What do you start at? 320.

320? Cool. He's battling anorexia. Yeah. He's not as much as Tes Holiday. No, but he is. If you are. I mean, anorexia would chew this guy up at 320.

Yeah. This is like Apollo Creed getting killed by Ivan Drago who is anorexia. Then Tes Holiday is like a Apollo Creed getting killed by Ivan Drago, who is an inrexia. Then test holidays watching Stifalus get murdered on international fat, fat division, right? And she's like, wife comes in. You can't go fight, aurexia, you're too thin. Yeah.

She's like, she's got her mouth full. That's why she's talking like that. It's not any kind of Stallone impression. No, it's just your she's got her mouth full. That's why she's talking like that. It's not any kind of still-own impression. No, it's dead. Right. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, goes like a scale, pinging, ding, ding, ding. Exactly, exactly. So obnoxious. Calorie counter, like fighting,

fucking fighting anorexia, fuck you. Like there's people, they look like out-swit victims, out-actually fighting anorexia, and body dysmorphia, and not also insanity. God, you fucking obnoxious cow. Just like everybody just has to be in the spotlight. It's like she had her, you know, she had her 15 minutes on the cover of Cosmo

and now it's like, oh, I just, because I know everybody is just clamoring to find out what the fuck I've been up to. Can you imagine if men behave in such a way, like Chris Pratt has a mole removed. I just had a really tough battle with skin cancer. Who wants to hear? Just fighting cancer over here. That's me and having a big old battle with the skin cancer. You know, most the big killer. That's cancer. Cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer. That's actually a pretty good analogy. Yeah, but everyone let's slide.

Cause some woman removed. Yeah, I had a mole removed. It's like, you didn't have bone cancer. You had like a pre-cancerist, you know, I almost died. I've known for a long time that I really needed to lose weight, but I've never changed anything about myself, even though this weight loss contest isn't something I'm taking super seriously. It did give me that one tiny push

where I thought to myself, okay fine, I'm no longer gonna drink beverages other than milk. Wait a minute. Milk. He's only gonna drink milk. I'm only gonna drink, I'm only, I'm no longer going to drink beverages other than milk and liquor.

So he loves milk and liquor. Milk and liquor, buddy. Yeah, stop drinking milk. Yeah, nobody's supposed to, hey, I love milk. But that's not like, if I'm down to one non-alcoholic beverage, it's not gonna be milk. They got break from the milk for a little bit. Yeah, they have sugar and or calories in there.

All right, good job. Okay. I can't give up that milk. I thought it was a serious email. It is serious. Now it's we have, but now he's sucking down the chest milk 24, seven. Happy, happy, used front-hole day. Yeah.

I'm gonna get my mom a card on the way home. Happy, used, double, used, happy, double stuffed front-hole day. Good God. And that's all I had to do to start losing weights and seriously thanks to Valice. Well, good job, buddy. Keep it's all I had to do to start losing weights and seriously thanks to Valice. Well, good job buddy. Keep it going. I guess.

Ray, you're the article about LA women. After you're in Dick Figgy, you'd be able to rage about this article. It's at the crossroads of Los Angeles female attention seeking behavior in general, female, a jocainery or a treachery. Being is how I'm not a professional rage nor a professional community.

And I figure it's in better hands with you. Paige, thank you for not killing yourself, Alex. Tick-tock user who matched with Matthew Perry. Oh yeah. And Raya. She's like 19 or something like that and he's like 50 something or whatever. Let me see this. Yeah. You already know this one. Yeah, I heard about it and like she's an adult right and like, you know, who gives a fuck. Let's see here. TikTok user who matched with Matthew Perry

on something at age 19. Oh, speaks out. Oh, oh, oh, oh, speak out. That's the one where it's supposed to be completely private, right? So like they completely, she like completely violated the, what a, what a horror.

Turn to serve, just keep your attention. Just try to get attention. A young tiktok user who we enviroll for posting a private FaceTime call. She had with Matthew Perry says she released the video to expose how older men in Hollywood are taking advantage of younger women on dating apps. Yeah, she's what are you fucking high? Terrible. That's first of all, that's a felony. Put her in

jail. Yeah. She can see how older felons, older lesbian felons take advantage of younger women and pound me in the ass prison with a homemade dildo out of soap. A lot of people were saying that I'm a bully and mean for posting this. Oh, you're doing your arrange psychopath. saying that I'm a bully and mean for posting this. Oh, you're doing your, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're

a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're Where you aware that so these guys in Hollywood talking a young girl. So this was an undercover job is that what she was doing. Yeah. And this is something that I think a lot of people have an interest. She wasn't interested in fucking any Hollywood celebrities. Is that what I'm being told to believe deep throat and deep and wide ass. They call there. She read deep throat. And user Kate something exclusively told page six

on Thursday. Harrelson, who said she was only 19 when she matched with Perry. Now 51. Well, what was he when he matched her? Because that's a little bit, you kind of widened the gap there, didn't you? On the elite app last May said the friend star asked to move their conversations from something to FaceTime almost immediately. Whoa. Whoa. Wow.

The LA based personal assistant now 20. Oh, now 20. That she has matched with other celebs before, but doesn't, doesn't ever talk to older guys except fucking liar, except she did. However, she chose to chat with Perry because she thought, oh, this would be she wants to be a, oh my God. Oh, look at this. Violet.

Look at this. That's the, I've had a mile of cock down my throat and I, my name still isn't in the credit stare. I've seen it in Hollywood. Good God. Not from Matthew Perry, I'm saying from the other one. I've seen it in Hollywood. Good God. Not from Matthew Perry, I'm saying from the other one. Right. It was so weird. She added, noting that she told the odd couple star that he was only about a year older than her father, which she

claimed the, I mean, they say that when they want to fuck, he probably fucked her and then call her back. That's what this is. Very well could be. Harrelson said her friend snapped a quick clip of the pair's FaceTime call, which is what was posted. Honestly, I never really had any intentions in posting it, but I thought that one video and thought, oh, this would be funny. I didn't expect it to blow up. God, man.

This would be funny. Yeah. See, when you celebrate Mother's Day, you have to remember that mothers are still women. And they probably conned your dad into having you. God. Happy, used front-hole day. She wants to be a fucking...

He wants to be a fucking star. Hey, Mom. Thanks for this one. Thanks for that one. Thanks from all of us, guys, for that. Thanks for that. Nothing else. Let's see here. All right. Hey, dick. If you read this on the show,

just call me D. Hey, dick and Sean. Recently, I've been having a bit of back pain and it got me thinking about what was the cause for this. Then it hit me. Everything is woman sized. That's true. Now, I'm by no means a two plus meter tall giant. I'm about 185 centimeters. What the hell, who knows how big that is? Well, this big, this, like a smart, I mean, that's not that tall. Givertake. I mean, that's like well under six feet.

Man, let's, give or take a centimeter to depending on how hot the chicken is. But do you have any idea how much strain you're back? A strain you're back and how annoying it is to have to bend over for everything? Yes. It's horrible. I lived in a house. You remember the house I lived in in Echo Park?

Yeah. That was built in 1908, I think, and people were smaller back then. Yeah, tiny. Nutrition people were smaller back then. Nutrition and stuff, the counters. If I was doing anything on the kitchen counter or dishes, they were several, yeah, they were several inches shorter, like I would get lower back pain, that I don't in like a modern,

you know, standard, shelter height house. It was, I didn't understand that until I lived in that house for a while, I was like, good God, these counters, everything is so short. Everything is so fucking small every night. I'm either I either wake up with my head crammed into the headboard or my feet falling asleep, hanging off the edge of the bed. You go to any store, you got a bend over, see what's on the shelves or pick stuff up. You're at the airport bendovers, you can talk to the attendant or rest your body weight on the counter before your back hurts from bedding over.

Want to enter literally any place that doesn't have high walls, bendover to get in the door. Men's bathrooms aren't safe from this either because they just copy and paste the floor plans from women's bathrooms and add a couple of your intels in there. So you got to bend over to wash your hands. You do. You can't escape from this in your own fucking house because you can't make put sink too high up or else the wife girlfriend, wife's boyfriend's girlfriend's will constantly nag about how the sink is too tall or she can't reach the kitchen counter with whatever

minuscule effort they have to put into reach stuff. It feels like they're just mentally conditioning me to being used to having a bend over and get fucked by everything because nobody cares about what guys have to think. I'm so tired of having to bend over for literally everything. I shouldn't be straining my back like this every day. Women should have to carry around comically oversized stools to read stuff. So I don't have this shitty back pain

before I'm even in my thirties. Don't even get me started on seats basing. If you're a video that isn't extremely skinny, short dude that doesn't work out at all, worst of all, we get told off when we use up the space we need to not be in constant pain with people crying about man spreading, especially in college. Anyways, go fuck yourself. Thanks for not killing yourself.

You wanna hear something funny? What? My girlfriend does have like a little unfoldable like step stool so she can reach the pull-up bar. Oh, at the gym. No, here at that home. Yeah. That's good.

That's good shit. Michaela McChalia, dear Dick, I was wondering if you'd be willing to give my boyfriend a shout out for his 26th birthday on the podcast. His name is Matt. He listens to your show religiously, supporting on Patreon and even got me hooked to your show when we first started dating. Well, that's trouble. Your book and your podcast strengthened Strength and Our Relationship, very unhealthy relationship.

And to that, I also want to say thank you. I hope you are well. And you go, fuck yourself. Yeah, that's Matthew Perry. I thought it'd be funny to talk to him. I didn't even want to talk. And I'm like, just post it online. It's like, I mean, it's too old to be talking to me.

God, you fucking bitch. Yeah. What a fucking horrible human being. Uh, obviously a lot of people are going to take his side since he's a celeb TV character. That's not why they're taking his side. Because if you're not a fucking horrible human being, you would take his side on this. Outing someone for their sexuality is a very big violation. And you should be hanged for what you've done.

Uh, okay. All right, let's get, let's get Adam from Houston. Yeah. And cripple Jesus, did you get sucked off by a guy? Was this, I guess was, is he gay now? I mean, Adam from Houston, you there? Man, look, he's not gay. He's not, He's not. He's not. He's just greedy. Did he get? Yeah. Did he get his dick sucked by a man or a guy?

Oh, yeah, he definitely did. He did. Yeah, yeah, that happened. What the hell's going on? What? Where did he find the guy? I don't know. Some autism board. Oh, did he like it? That's the rumor. That's the rumor. Well, he had to constantly tell him what to do. Well, it was kind of like this guy would need a bunch of reassurance. Was it the guy's first time sucking dick too?

Is I want you to be told what to do so much? Don't look at me. I don't know. I'm not going to pry in this dude's personal life in that much. Oh, I am. All right. So you're calling in because he fucked up the Patreon link for your show, right? Oh my god. Look, I don't blame him that much. He's kind of retarded. He had also had just had surgery and so he's kind of piled out.

So it's whatever. He put two glasses and a fucking Patreon. Yeah. I asked him to put that immediately. Like, he, what is it? It's patreon.com slash WGA shit show. WGA shit show. That makes more sense. Yeah.

Who gives a shit show? Shit show. Okay, the WGA shit show. All right, Adam, can you tell us some of your prison stories? Please, Sean really loves your prison. I love prison stories. Randy, Randy, after your last call, Randy called me and said, I'm going to kill someone to go in a prison because I, some so like so much fun. He said, you must write a, some kind of a pilot about the prison, like sitcom, like what he's talking about. And he had a whole list of all the topics he covered.

He was very inspired by your stories. I thought about it. I mean, I have like, no, he told me. I'm a journal that I wrote a page every day. Well, tell us one of your stories. So there's so many other stories. Okay. So, well, people have been writing into you about how like being

celibate doesn't make you with sexual degenerate and you know what my first hand experience shows me very much the fucking contrary. Okay, what do you mean? Like okay, so you're forced to be celibate and whenever you don't have a way to express your sexual attention, people start acting fucking weird. I guess that makes sense. Like there's a literal jack off ninja at Ramsey too. Like he would wear this thermal shirt and he had like a ninja mask tied around his head with a t-shirt and he would army crawl out on the run, pee his eyes just above the run at night

and to look at the female guards and start jacking off. One time a guard saw him so he fucking hit the deck, army crawl back into his cell and played a sleep. Okay, so he's made a ninja outfit to go spy on the female guards to beat off to them. So because you can't see his skin at all, you can't even tell it race this dude. Okay. And what is it going to watch from me?

Could everyone see him while he's doing his thing? Well, if you were awake, yeah. And if you're on the second level, you just learn to ignore it. Like you would wake up in the middle of the night and you can see him creeping across the floor at his ninja outfit to jack off to the female prison guards. Yeah, she's the only one that doesn't have a good angle on seeing this guy. Awesome. Okay.

Because there's another dude that would jack off on female guards in the same dorm. He was on the cell directly across from me and I had a nickname for the guy who was Deathstroke. Old ass, old black man, he had like cat or an ice on his eye. So I was all white. So the name just because it's like slate, millstone, when deathstroke is released. Your audio is a little, your audio just got a little messed up. I don't know if you did anything, but I just wanted to be clear. So he's like Slade Wilson in Deathstroke with the panel. Yeah.

All right. So he would, he would like look through the prison bars at the female guard and he'd be so close to him that he's really the only one that has a line on her. She really can't see in, but he can see out. Okay. And he'd just sit there and just jack his dick. And it is in full view of me.

Yeah. So yeah. So I would just have to sleep with my legs kicked up so that I can so that I don't see it. Oh God. Then you do you hear it? Would your other senses be heightened? Oh yeah, no, I couldn't hear it.

That would put me. And I talk to him about it one time like, hey, man, you're jacking your dick and I can see this shit. And this old ass man is like, I've been locked up for a bottle that soon as someone tries to tell me how they locked up. I'm like, all right, man, look, I got nothing for it. You know what, go ahead, have at it. So that's like an annoying thing in prison people trying

to tell you how they were locked up. That would be how long they've been locked up. I don't know how much trying to tell you how they were locked up that would be How long they've been locked up I don't know how long you've been locked up It's due to someone says that I'm like all right Well, if you're just gonna act like a mother fucking asshole until I beat your ass And I don't really feel like going out like that. Yeah, I could understand that Let me pretty what are the female prison guards think? Do they like it getting these?

No, they don't like it. Oh. Well, they look at us as fucking cageed animals. Yeah. Well, they like the attention of getting talk to. They don't like getting jacked off on. They like the attention of getting talk to. Yeah.

How do you know? Because they'll seek it out. How do you know? Because they'll seek it out. Oh. Like, some dudes will try to finesse them and try to get them on the line. Oh, yeah. And there's dudes that are trying to fuck female guards all the time,

but they're really wary about that. And the funny thing is, it's up to her about it happening, where as soon as a dude fucks a female person guard, they're like, well, there's no such thing as consensual sex and TDCs, so you better start bringing a shade in otherwise I'm gonna tell on you. Yeah, and that does happen.

How could it not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that, you remember that like hot guy mug shot that went around a couple of years ago? Yeah, and all women were like, right, spring, shitting in their pants, they were so turned on. Yep.

How could it not happen? You're there, you's spring, she's shitting in their pants. She's so turned on. Yep. How could it not happen? You're there, you're only objective every day all day is to convince her to fuck you. Yeah. You know, I mean, anything else to do. What else are you gonna do? Yeah. Yeah.

How could it not? They never stop trying. Yeah. So I was talking about how these dudes act weird with like Jack and off people, or jack off all the time. They're fucking weird about it, because they try to do it in the showers. And you're so removed from anything sexual, like in the furniture factory where I worked, they had a penthouse from the 80s that had been stashed in there that long. Wow.

And this thing was hidden inside the actual shelves themselves that held all the stock for shit. And the corn used to be legal and are they used to have it as not contraband in the Texas prisons in the early 80s and they removed everything along with cigarettes around that time. Oh God. Hey, the shower would be, I would think that would be a bad place to jack off in prison because you know, all the other guys. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I think that wouldn't be my first

choice of location. But God, I would really miss it. If I was in prison, I would really miss a nice shower beat off. Yeah. Let the steam have a nice leisurely 40 minute shower. You know, yeah, it depends on the shower. I'm going to guess you can't stay in the shower for 40 minutes. Oh, can you say how long can you stay in the shower in prison? Depends on which prison, because some, some prisons have showers that are attached to the day room and you can kind of take a shower whenever you want. But some of the prisons are old and you actually have to like line up to go take a shower and everyone in your pod goes to showers at the same time.

And when that happens, you're just trying to get in and get out. Yeah. So do you get like, do you get like prison issue soap and shampoo and shit like that? Yeah. Oh yeah, you do.

And that soap is like fucked up, lysoap that like takes up a whole layer of skin. Yeah, so. Can't even get these guys good soap. Yeah. Are you kidding me? How much soap does ivory, does it have plus for men?

They can't send you guys good soap. And so they get lava. They get lava soap with the abrasives in it. Yeah. You make your own soap. They have this lie soap that's kind of like this weird fucked up greenish tinge. But you could buy soap on commissary two, You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same.

You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same.

You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same.

You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. You make it the same. I mixed it with a little bit of the shampoo that they give you and I had this wooden compressor block in the furniture factory and I'd smash this thing down into a bar of soap that actually feels like a bar of soap. Okay. So you're making like your own label of soap in prison, right? Do guys come to you for soap?

No, really it's, you kind of like in on the hustle. So people would, we'd let people use our block is a favor because I didn't make the block, but it was someone else that did. But I worked in the St. Apartment as this guy, because I was a bench carpenter. Okay. And, but there's a lot of little side hustles inside the furniture factory. What everybody would do favors for one another. And you would bring them more customers based on what it was like that you don't get fucking insoles for your shoes.

So the history of Hollywood make their own insoles. This is courageous. Trying to keep people pissed off. Yeah, really. Like maybe give them some nice shoes. They'll feel better. Walk it in. You really will.

Nice comfortable set of shoes, some soap, maybe some girly soap, right? Make them try to cut down on the aggressive masculinity in prison. Now that's the same. Now that's the same. Murders go up when weather's hot. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're like, yeah, if you're a little more comfortable, you probably a level of aggression might go down a tip. You see that right now, this is prime fight and season like in prison. Yeah, there's, it's not air conditioned. No, it's hot. It's hot and humid as fucking Texas. Why is it so horrible? Why does prison have to be so horrible? I mean, it's one thing to keep a- Because fuck you, it's prison. Yeah, it's one thing to emergency. People locked up for murder and whatever,

but they don't have to not have air conditioning. That's all I'm saying. There's only like four units in Texas that are air conditioned, three of them are medical units. And I was at the other one that was air conditioned for a little bit. It used to be a TYC facility. It was a JuVee facility that they transitioned over to a full TDC community where they had college in this one. And this place was flat because all the guards there worked

there while it was a TYC facility and they kept on operating like we're fucking kids like that. That's just fun, ridiculous. How? How? What would be different about it if you were kids? So, I guess their kids are a little bit more primed to just be bossed around and just to do whatever the fuck they're told. And all the people that are in this unit that are also going to college are kind of a little bit lower risk than other facilities.

Okay. And but this place sucked because the every dorm was literally two storage containers welded together like side by side and inside of a building. Yeah. That's what these that's what these things are made out of. And uh being, I deconstructed the shit out of some of these things. I had the most storage space out of anybody else in the prison because I made a little hacksaw to where... Yeah. Okay, so what I did was they sell you a pencil sharpener. So I got this pencil sharpener blade,

and I got a razor blade, and I knicked it all the one direction, and then I knicked it the other way and it made a tiny little hacks off. Soft blade, yeah. And the showers were in the back of this storage container thing but they can't run pipes underneath the storage thing. So it's on this little raised Diaz that's like 18 inches tall, I'd have to say. But they still need to be able to get to the pipes underneath the shower.

So there's four bolts that hold on this big stainless steel plate. And I was on an SSI in the morning. That's a janitor. And they make you be awake. Like everyone else is sleeping. The TV's not on. And I'm just up.

It takes like not even an hour to like sweep and mop and shit. So I would just sit there with this little hacksaw blade, wearing down these bolts until I got a like a straight line started and I got my nail clipper that I got busted in half and that's my screwdriver. Until I had to go over and clean up the old black guys. I guess. You know.

Okay. Thankfully, people kind of clean up after themselves because if you leave, people actually get super pissed, if you leave a mess behind people, you'll actually be trash over that. Okay. Like if you go take a piss on something,

it is an expectation that you bring extra toilet paper with you to wipe it down afterwards. Okay, more likely to do it in prison than at home. Oh yeah, because you're not there. I was just thinking, I cleaned up some jizz that got away. And it wasn't a very good job. But if I was in prison, I probably would have taken a second pass at it. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm probably gonna be stuck. Yeah.

But I didn't even, so this extra storage that I had this stash spot, I didn't even use it. I just had it. I just wanted it. How big a stash spot did I didn't even use it. I just had it. I just wanted it. How big is a stash spot? Did you have? It was fucking huge. It was, I was underneath the entire shower. So I'd probably say it was probably like, hmm, four feet by four feet by 18 inches. So, wow, that's a big, that's a big stash. So whoever got yourself after you got inherited a big stash, secret stash spot. This is all one, one dorm. And what I I did was there was one guy that I thought was cool

that might utilize it properly and brew some some hooch and a garbage bag. So I let him know it was there. No one ever saw me open this thing. I just had it. But I had another stash spot that was used because it's because it's two storage containers. They have those ribs in the storage container. Yeah. They just kind of bolted lockers to the floor and they were on the flat of the walls, except for mine. Mine had that little spot behind it that you could almost get your hand up in there. So, well, it was the dorms stash spot for anything that was kind of large like our tattoo gun was up in there Whenever we had any weed that was up in there. I love and you just can't keep people locked up, right? Like some people you cannot keep locked up. Well, they're good. I mean, it's the Creativity talking about it. It's like so I did so I got this like step step step step like man

You can't fucking keep that got locked up. Well, the creativity is amazing. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, where there's a will, there's a way, you know, you ain't gonna have it. And did you have like a little bookshelf in front of your stash space that you made to open up? So you had to go under the locker to get to this thing. And we got a sock full of stuff. And there's a shoe string tied to the sock.

And there's a tiny piece of thread tied to that shoe string. And there's a little magnet tied to the sock and there's a tiny piece of thread tied to that shoe string and there's a little magnet at the end of the thread. Oh my God! Can you stomp that thing up in there and then you push that magnet up just a little bit further than what your hand can get to. So someone's trying to reach up in there. They're not going to feel anything. Then you get a little piece of metal on the end of a stick to get on the magnet and pull

the magnet down to get the thread out. Use the thread to pull the shoe string out. You the thread to pull the shou-street out. You got nothing to pull the sock out. Nothing but time to think about shit like that. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. They can't think that high or they can't think that low.

If you put anything around like eye level where people would normally manipulate shit, they'll find it eventually. But if you stash something really high, are you stash something really low, they're not gonna be inconvenience to get up on something or actually stoop down to look for something. It'll take forever to realize it's there. Someone's going to have to roll on you and stitch on you for them to find that. Like a grocery store. You get the stuff. The eye level cells.

Right away. They put the trash bags cereal that I had as a kid. They put at the bottom. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, do you have any? Yeah, those furniture factory has shit stashed. Fucking everywhere. I had no idea what the hell was in that thing because there's guys that have like their denatured alcohol stash where they're like, they got their little ventilator mask

for when the spray department is staining stuff and they'll just take one of their little ventilator mask filters and don't get into a denatured alcohol and be like, health and alcohol the whole time they're working. So, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and you could build, you could do crafting shit and build little hiding. It sounds like prison is a place for me. Okay, in the, in the, you know, in the shop, like it was like a wood shop, right?

Yeah, I made, we made furniture for fire departments, colleges, that type of thing. So you've got like, you've got legit power tools and things in there. Yeah, we had to check them out and clock them back in, but yeah, we were able to make all sorts of crap. But got in and there's guys who are like, We had to check him out and clock him back in, but we were able to make all sorts of crap. But got in, and there's guys who are like, huff and alcohol.

Right? What's the injury rate? Yeah, it's injury rate. In a wood shop, you know? It happens. There was one time a guy had switched out a drill bit while a dude was like drilling through some stuff. It wasn't paying attention.

So he was expecting this drill bit to go through and stop, but it kept on going and he drilled like straight into his hand. And people like drop stuff all like on their feet occasionally, that'll happen. But shit, the worst injury that happened was our, the furniture factory director killed himself while I was working there. Like he had, he got diagnosed with really bad cancer, just off himself. And the trustee came. Bansa, circle shot himself. He didn't do it on site.

Oh, we did get jammed up for a long time. Like we're all outside, we have to, we have to strip down button, make it to go to lunch and then take a shower and get back to the dorm. This around like, you know, 11 o'clock. And we're out there just. Just.

They're falling out in our pauses. Just just waiting around and we're like, why the fuck? Why aren't they letting anybody move anywhere? And a guy died in the trustee camp right outside of the place. They were trying to repair a tractor and it kicked into gear and rolled over the studio. Oh, shit. And that took forever. That's fucked up because it was far enough away where we could actually see where this

shit is happening. And we're all like, what the fuck is all that? Because what they got to do is once the dude gets run over, the guy that's there has to go and tell the little trustee officer that's out there and he has to call the sergeant. Sergeant has to call the lieutenant.. Sergeant has to call the lieutenant. The lieutenant has to call the warden. The lieutenant command. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, the calls up to see what the hell they're going to do. They got to do like an assessment thing to see how they're going to, if they have to spend this or not. And then they're the ones that decide whether or not that will like, when they're going to call the ambulance. Right. And somebody's got to call John Deere. Yeah. True.

True. So it was like 45 minutes before an ambulance showed up. God damn, that's too bad. Somebody just be like, just, let's see if the tractor can back up. Oops, oops, oops. Sounds screaming. That's a good thing. Yeah, yeah.

Were any guys making guns in the furniture store? Could you make a gun there? Do you know stuff? No. It could have made one, yeah. But you'd be more inclined to make a crossbow or a shiver or something like that. But really, it's not violent like that. Whenever you hear about all this violence, that's in higher classifications of stuff.

If you fuck around, then you'll go to areas where people are really having an issue. And I hear some stories about this because that unit that I was at was a, they had this thing called the Grad Program, it's stand for gang renouncement and disassociation. And these are dudes that got classified for being in a prison gang and they're renouncing their membership of this gang and trying to get back in general population. And the last three months of this program, they're back in general population and they can't fuck up during this time.

Okay. And they got rules for people that you're allowed to be in a cell with. So they need to be within like 30 pounds of your weight and within seven years of how old you are. So all these dudes that were getting out. No mismatches. Be cellmates with them for three years or three months.

What's the deal with the weight difference and the age difference? Why would they do that? Well, if you got enough of an age difference, people just aren't gonna get along. And if you got someone that's not big enough, the other guy is prone for time. Wow, yeah, no shit. Put some 60, 70 year old in there with me, big energy. Yeah, it's pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro So they asked so fucking entitled to shit and they know that nobody's going to beat their ass because the

you know when we gangster points for beating some old man's ass and they think they've seen everything and they're just jaded little flux that want to bow guard tables and play fucking dominoes all day and complain about shit nonstop. You know, it's funny. He says it's funny. He says that because you know, if you listen to old people, everybody younger than them is the most entitled person in the world. I like the most entitled people are old people. Yeah, it's you. Yeah, you're off for nothing. Yeah, you couldn't, you could work all day and not provide anything valuable. Uh, who's entitled now? What about, uh, what about like the biggest caper that you saw? I'm transpiring, prison. Um, that was probably the, uh, the chewing tobacco ring that they had going on.

So they actually knew somebody in the post office to get this shit in. So they weigh all the packages that are coming into this place. And they weigh the shit whenever it's going out. So in transit, they would get the package, break the thing open, take out a certain amount of material and replace it with the chewing tobacco that had the right amount of weight so that in transit, it would still weigh the same. And they had a G1 trustee. And these dudes are actually driving the trucks that bring everything into the prison. And they were in on this shit too.

And they had, they would replace the chewing tobacco with the right amount of weight again. But they did that right when it's inside the gate and they would stash it around the corner behind the gate, like the actual guy that checks the stuff in, she was in on this. All he did was just have to turn a blind eye to it, so he could just play dumb. So they're not having to pay this guy off much. And then they would take all the chewing tobacco

and just distribute it out. Like people would just smuggle it like a couple cans at a time. And a can of chewing tobacco was going for about 20 bucks on the inside. Oh my God, all this work for 20 and for chewing tobacco, like not even you know, I talking about like heroin or fentanyl or anything like that for fucking chewing tobacco. That's, uh, that's hilarious. That's a great cigarette for contraband. If you had a, uh, an actual cigarette, it was worth about $5. Five bucks to cigarette.

All right. Sean, we got to get into the smuggling game. Yeah. With mine like ours, swapping, swapping weights of chewing to back. It's all right. Adam, uh, what makes you a plug your podcast again with cripple Jesus and then tell me what makes you rage? All right.

It's a, who gives a shit? We're on every major podcast you rage uh... right it's uh... who gives a shit run every major podcast player just you know type in who gives a shit run youtube as well uh... you know patreon dot com slash w g a shit show i'll tell you what makes me a rage dick fucking war and buff it uh... this guy i heard you talking about him on the last episode and i just got done talking about how much this dude's a piece of shit and fucking set me off again. Because he's trying to get in on the energy game in Texas.

You know, don't let a good tragedy go to waste. Yeah. He's trying to spend $8 billion to build some power plants out here to basically put every single Texas consumer on the fucking line and pay him off until the end of fucking time. And he's making a bunch of empty promises. Basically, you know, in a former life, I was an engineer, a cursory look at what he's promising shows that this guy is completely full of shit. And this normally wouldn't piss me

off that much, but a personal friend of mine died and that Texas freeze. His name was Guy Harris. He was on a season one episode six of Forge of Fire, played Dungeons of Dragons with this guy. And this dude is trying to basically profiteer off of people that I know is death fuck you weren't both at eat a dick. Yeah, I hate that guy too. Okay, Adam, thank you for calling in. Watch who gives a shit, patreon.com slash WGA shit show. That's what I thought it was, but yeah, yeah, well, cripple Jesus. Listen to an episode dick. Let me get in on that reboot of the biggest problem, man.

Let's listen to an episode and tell me I'm not made for this type of shit. Okay, I will. I'll listen to it this week. I promise. I will do it. All right, appreciate it, Dick. Go fuck yourself.

Love you so much. See ya. Okay, do you want to do some advice? We've been going for a long time, man. We have been. Are we just going to let this cripple Jesus dick-sucking thing just pass? No, we're going to talk to him after we do advice. We are. We'll talk to him when we do voice mails as well.

I'm just curious. You've got a master plan on this. Well, I don't like to do two calls right in a row. No, I understand that. I like to do something else and then get him back. I want him to think about it. What he's done. I hope the guy was, I hope he tricked him into it. Maybe he's doing it so he can meet to somebody. Yeah.

Let's see, maybe he was Matthew Perry. Then he met and tricked into, he's game whenever he says, worthless, advice, worthless sister. Hey, my sister has gotten extremely lazy and bitchy recently. And I don't know how to help her. Why would you want to help someone who's both lazy and bitchy? She used to be a lot better about doing shit besides sitting on her ass and being short with everyone,

even when they're trying to be nice to her. I think I've identified the problem already. Things started to go downhill when she started being a therapist's first patient. Man, I should on therapy a lot, for men, it's okay. Women go into therapy.

Oh boy, talking about the blind helping the fat. Ha, ha, ha. Okay. So my therapist said, let me guess, your therapist said a cranked up version of what you always say. Why don't you turn around? Oh boy. Well, there's nothing worse than getting a little bit of knowledge and then weaponizing it. That's what they got a therapy for.

I mean, go didn't go to therapy to learn new ways to manipulate. I mean, there are some who come out of it like that. Yeah. Then she got worse when she sprained her ankle, which hurts her when she walks and she refuses to get physical therapy for every time I bring the idea up.

Oh, there's a lot of interactions. How is this, it seems like they're very young. Maybe so. Then a few weeks ago, she went off the deep end after my friend drunkenly tried to have sex with her when she was half asleep, what the, at which half,

like, oh God, sleeping, half half asleep because she had been flirting with him in a friendly way and he misinterpreted it. Okay, so that's called attempted rape. And I did stop hanging out with him because he's an entitled prick, but now she's hell-bent on having his life destroyed, which doesn't really mean much considering she barely does shit about anything. How big are, he doesn't really mean much, considering she barely does shit about anything. How big are, he doesn't say how big her tits are. Last week she really pissed me off because we were preparing for my grandma's birthday party. And I get there an hour before the party

because I had to go to the gym and she complained to me. It's gotta be like teenagers, right? I get a problem. Right, yeah, late teenagers. She complained to me about not helping, even though I cleaned the house. I fit for, come on. What are you fucking writing this in an email?

But I mean, you did clean it. They're kind of, it's bickering like a, you know, there's no like a married couple almost or something. But it's like, you know, are you, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what, so what do you want us to tell you how to trick her into not being shitty? I just don't talk to her anymore. I'm fucking busy doing other shit.

I have time for your shit in my life. You're just a big fat waste of space. I don't give a fuck. What was your problem? What was your problem that you had? Your ankle or something? I don't fucking care. I don't know.

I don't fucking care. Go sit on the couch and swipe until you find another couch to transport your fat ass on. I don't fucking care. Try that. Try to say it. Record yourself saying that. And then play it back and see if it sounds

like the way I said it. And if it doesn't do it again. Later I asked my mom and she told my sister, didn't, she told me my sister didn't do anything and cried. But she has to fill up balloons, which she just got her boyfriend or used to be my best friend to do. He also listens to the show

and will probably show this to her, but I don't care at this point. I think you still do. That's the problem. Well, yeah. Gotta get rid of that shit. No, I'm for the long email. Yeah. And short, she's just been lazy and bitchy to everyone in my house.

So that sounds like it's your mom's house, bud. And I don't know how to help her. Because if you bring up any of her flaws, like her being morbidly obese and not exercising, she just screams until you walk away. Oh, your sister screams louder than you? Oh, buddy, what's going sincerely, Jack Machock? Well, she doesn't seem to think she has any kind of fucking problems. That's sad and sad.

I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Just dealing with anorexio over here. Just, you know, fighting it, preparing for about world heavyweight bout with her and anorexia. What is with guys? I don't know. Needing to save everybody. I got this family member. I got a, they're in a really want to know what I can do to manipulate them into doing something.

Well, that's the manipulate is the, yeah. You got to realize that, yeah, as much as you want to or you can see completely clearly that they're fucked up, that they're making bad choices, that they're, if they don't think they are, if they don't think they are, if they don't, you know, then you can't, you got to, I mean, say your piece and then let it go. If you're going to be, you can't, like you said, you're, you can't stay there and manipulate them into doing what you think is best for them.

Maybe, you know, maybe fat works for her. Just gonna be a fat obnoxious asshole in my whole life. Some dude whose mom is a big fat obnoxious cow is gonna see that and go, who is this lovely pumpkin, she who is this fucking charming woman is gonna go, oh, let me lay off me on starving. Maybe it works, I've seen, you've seen my 600 pound life, those brods always have some fucking dude, they're buying them fried chicken or pancakes or whatever feeding them beans by the hand.

Here you go, by the bucket. There's a bucket of beans. I got you this beer bonnet, the store. Open up. I filled it with fucking candy corn. Oh, I feel like gravy. Yep. Wash it out.

How do you fucking know what works for her? Don't you have better things to do with your life than worry about some fat whore? Ask yourself that. I hope so. I fucking hope so. Are you lifting every day? Cause it sounds like you're digging around. Was that good advice? Yeah. I mean, it actually kind of was. Dude, worry

about what control, which you can control. I mean, worry about worry about you can't, don't try to trick her into doing what you think is best. I mean just or don't give a fuck about your problem try that one for um grandma's birthday balloons what the fuck uh okay let me see this one alpha in cell problems hey and John. I don't know. It's both. I am a true alpha in cell. I want a bang. I have bung before and I wish to bang in the future, but bitches be crazy now. Nowadays more so than usual. I'm not terrible to look at. They don't care. But I'm just barely manlet sized. Six one. Barely oh, okay. And I work out daily. I can see women cut eyes at me and it's maddening.

Why? I'm mildly autistic. And as such, can't readily read facial cues or outright misread some chick just being nice as flirting. They're not ever just being nice. That anyone, any chick who says they're just being nice is lying because they're not ever nice. They're not ever just being nice. Anyone, any chick who says they're just being nice is lying because they're not ever nice. They're just not. Like when chicks say I was just being nice,

I really fucking doubt, I need to see replay of that because I've never seen a woman be nice ever. Uh, it's been such a mind fuck that I haven't actively pursued pussy in years. Years as, oh my God. As such, I've pivoted that desire from hating myself, for being socially deficient, to working out in 110 degrees heat on a concrete slab in the backyard. I'm going to bump that mildly up to you.

Fuck, man, you're going to be in a cops video. Yeah. Concrete slab in the backyard, 110 degrees. Yeah. What are you doing? You're like, black snake moaning yourself? What the, what are you doing? He's trying to kill himself.

Working out in 110 degrees. Is he like, larping as cool hand-look? I'm gonna go work out in the concrete slab in the back. Yeah. Okay, but calm down. The only issue, don't do weird shit. The only issue with this course of action being that now because of this new routine

and general lack of concern for my own safety, not wearing a mask, training for the eventual coming race war brought to us by China. We're in it. We're in the race war. Oh, I give you hint. We're China's CO2 emissions now surpass all over countries combined.

Did you know that? Yeah, I think I did. That's the war. Yeah, I think I did. Yeah, that's the war. It's finance war. Uh, I've become some type. There's never going to be boots on the ground ever, ever, ever, ever.

I've become some type of weird sexual black hole that only attracts thirsty, self-imprisoned COVID-habias. It's become some weird cycle of attracting women to self hatred for being a social short bus candidate to doing workouts again. Is there a solution to this issue or should I just hold off till the eventual mad maxining of America and just be the humongous?

Thanks for your time and go fuck yourself sincerely and sell prime. What are you talking about? Not going to be no. Not going to be no. Do you need a really need a race for to just like some people got to have a war? You need the entire world to conform to you. Like you're so quirky that you need there to be the destruction of society to happen, to conform to you instead of the other way around.

There is a word for that. It's called being a woman. Just lighten up a little bit. There's not gonna be, pretend for a day that there's not gonna be a race war. The race war is not coming. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna prep for that one?

Why will that change your outlook? Doomsday, what you wanna do? The doomsday prepers are wonderful about prepping for the infinity of variables that would come with the destruction of society as we know it, and yet they can't seem to plan for if absolutely nothing happened for tomorrow being just like today.

Somehow, the very easily controlled and identifiable variables that come with such a scenario completely out of their grasp. Yeah, sure. Try that one. Try planning for the end of the doomsday of your doomsday scenario. Try planning for the mundane, the rest of your life.

Uh oh, maybe nothing will happen. Work out in grass, work out in, work out at a gym. Get a free membership to the gym. Wear a shirt. Don't need so much attention that you have to work out in such a silly way. Just get by. Try to be as normal as possible. I don't need any attention today.

I'm just gonna go to the gym like a regular guy. Well, I'm gonna wear a shirt. It says nothing on it. I'm gonna wear a workout, a workout appropriate shirt and shorts and shoes to the gym. And I'll have no questions for the gym people. And I'm gonna go away in line

and work out one day at a time, as though every day is absolutely meaningless because it is. All right, everybody, this has been a joke. We're gonna talk to a couple of Jesus in a minute. Page your own. I'm gonna talk to a little bit about this joke. Thank you for, when do you leave?

Are you gonna be here next week? Yeah, you are right. Okay, so Vito's coming in the week after that. I'll see you next Tuesday. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey da da. Two. Oh, here's worms for dinner brought to you by the W.E.F., the World Economic Forum. Worms for dinner, they say, is it really worms for dinner Europe, green lights, insect-based food in a bid to promote meat-free protein. So if your local restaurant cannot hire people because minimum wage is $15 and they're getting paid and anyone who wants to work at a restaurant is already getting paid $300 a week by the government, where are you going to eat? Where are you going gonna get food from this would be amazon

amazon with the protein meat free protein are right here's what come on guy there we go and come on gai come on gai hey they got a rich very minor rich but just like in annoying in general. It's the people who say full stop. Yeah.

It's fucking bad enough in writing. Wait, full stop. Okay, we're either doing another fucking mic drop. It's a partial stop. You're not. I'm sending a telegram. It's fucking annoying. Partial stop to stop or not.

But it's saying full stop, quote, full stop quote full stop while frankly that's annoying full stop full stop fuck that shit there's no such thing fucking full stop sounds like I get where you were almost starving but isn't it? fuck yourself John out fuck damn it Sean's not even in there this week. I am. Yes, I am. Grab your phone and send Sean a text. Oh, I love him.

Well, it seems like a lot of effort for a dick to do that. Yeah. I mean, you know, get the hell out of here. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it means a period, a full stop. That's what a period means. It means the punctuation, a punctuation is a period, a full stop. That's what a period means. It means the punctuation, a punctuation is a period. That's the name for a period. Oh, a full stop. I didn't know that, but yeah,

but I don't think people are, I don't think people are using it that way. Well, no, because it's not the 30s and we're not riding around on it's limp selling telegrams to each other. That's what I mean. Yeah, I really, full stop. They mean like, whoa, stop right there.

Full stop, full stop. I'm still talking. I'm still making noise. Yeah, I really hate that. Hey, Dick, you'll make me rage. Wow, please. Marketing billboard slogans. Me too.

You're driving on the highway and you see, you know, you wanna see a billboard for a strip club but then it gets replaced with this fucking dry clicker ticket pulled over or take it help anyone buzz driving is drunk driving all of a sudden not want to drive drunk anymore or drive more when I see this shit

yeah me too. Who the fuck is this? Who is the best disorder I have? Anyways, fuck traffic cops. Thank you for not killing yourself. And if I see another one of these things, I might wanna kill myself. Yeah.

Anyways, let's go. How about, maybe funny to put up like a fake one, like hitting your wife won't shut her up. That's funny and domestic violence. Like, you know, you were like, wait a minute, that's a little illegal immigrants. Who else will clean your toilets, right? Like vote no on that's actually also clean your toilet. There was a movie with Dudley Moore in the the eighties i think it was called crazy people

he went to a mental asylum and there's a movie called ruthless people that was a different movie but yeah crazy people he went to a mental asylum but he was an ad exec and so all the inmates they started to come up with like the whole thing oh no he got sent there because i think he wanted was like what about honesty and advertising they're like well you get to the loony bin. And it was like, one of them was like, for like a fiber, it was like metamusel, because if you don't go to the bathroom,

you'll get cancer and die. You know, like, so it's like, it's just like that. Yeah, it's like, you know, yeah, hitting your wife won't shut her up. Oh, shut her up. Brought to you by the domestic violence. I really hate those. Are you paying for them? Or is the billboard company getting tax write offs?

Or yeah, all right. Bill, this is me off. Vegas strong. Who? Vegas strong. As soon as that goddamn shooting happened, my first thought was, yeah. Why did it happen in my town? Because I knew there would be some kind of bullshit like this.

Why not just rename it Tatic Town? That's what you want to admit. Don't be a guy, I'm not gonna forget that you. I'll fix it. He gave you what you want, didn't he? You can now rally around this, your cause, your suffering, and the, ooh, the togetherness and everything and it's all a fucking sham makes me so I Hate you all all of you people name fucking companies that

Strong talk. Oh, they can't hear anything. You're such a bitch Don't call a big shooting Somebody killed a bunch of people in the world to get all world together. Are you gonna let somebody merge? No Not really. Not really. Oh, not really. All right, let me get cripple Jesus in here. Because we messed with the sound settings. Now they can't hear the voice mail and discord. I'll have to figure that out later. Oh, I'll take a look at it. Cripple Jesus you there. What's up buddy?

Oh, what's up with you? Not much man, I've been having lots of fun this weekend. You got your dick sucks by a guy, is that what I hear? I do, it's a, I've had met him on Tinder. You met a guy on Tinder, not Grindr? No, then I heard that one with rapy. That's what I was told. So they told me to stay away from that one.

But yeah, it was a good time, man. So when did this hold, I mean, this seems like a little bit of a shift for you. I didn't know you would never talk about this before. I thought you only liked science. Well, I was doing a monologue with myself as I often do. Yeah.

And I came to the question. I said, is pussy worth all of a bullshit then come with it? And I said, no. And I thought, you know, I mind and won't try something different, see how that works. Okay. Well, it sounds like a curiosity thing, huh?

Good for you. Yeah. How was it? Oh, it took me 30 minutes to finish, whenever the fun time. A guy said, you made a guy's second dick for 30 minutes. That's what I want to understand, but a guy, wow. What's such content? Oh, the thing was, I'm not allowed to have actual sex

because I have a cast on because I just had a surgery. Okay. So, that we had to settle for the blow job, but... Oh, so you would have fucked the guy if you didn't have your cast on? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Are you being serious? Is it a bit? Right.

No, no, no, it's not a bit how long have you maybe been have you been thinking about maybe being gay I'm buying a monster to that's really no no thoughts before that well it's I've had so much frustration with all the women in my life that I really didn't have to think about it. But that one. I hate to say this, but I'm going to need to see some kind of proof that this is that gay sex is happening. Because you are, you are a, you are a fucker. Yeah. I have a picture of the guy that I don't.

And do enough for proof. Well, I don't know about that. If you have a picture of a guy, I don't know if that's enough for proof. So what happened? How was the, how was the actual blow job that you got? Oh, it was hilarious because he had that functioning on to them. So what that means is he was stopping him. He was stopping every five minutes. How is it? I was good. And I finally just told him what to do exactly. And that's why it took so long, I think, because it was starting and stopping. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. What was the stuff he told them? I just said use tongue. Use tongue. Stop using. Stop using the guy. Stop using the guy. This is the guy. He looks like a Filipino sonic, the hedgehog. He's got spiky blue hair. God, you came up with that. He doesn't have blue hair anymore, but yeah.

Oh, he has white hair. I'm just drinking it now. I did So I don't know. No. No. All right. Did he swallow? Cough. I'm gone. What if he did? Yeah. He did. He would actually upset that he didn't swallow the nut because I ended up finishing on most

of my bush and that gummed them out because they really likes to swallow. I guess. Okay. Are you going to see this gentleman again? the mouth because they really likes to swallow. I guess. Okay. Are you going to see this gentleman again? Oh, yeah. We're thinking about next weekend. Okay. Does he have CP? No.

Yeah. Does he have? He has the piss fetish and kind of bothers me. But being the genius that I am, I managed to renegotiate it because I have a trap fetish. So I was like, with them, if you come in with the skirt every once in a while, then we could work something out with the fist thing. Criminals Jesus, this is all coming out of nowhere. Right.

This, I mean, you were a cigar smoking card player. And now now you are a trap-lusting homosexual. Renaissance. Yeah. For those things, buddy, you can be bald. Yeah. I get incredible. Yeah. What is a? Yeah, I play poker with the cowboy lesbian. She's one of my favorite people on the planet. Okay. Hey, does your mom know about this? No, no, she'll never get the privilege to know because I know she'll immediately be annoying about it

because she's a liberal. So happy mother's day, mom. So she'll be like, oh, this is my gay son. I'm playing you around. I'm playing you around. Mom, so I'll be like, oh, this is my gay son Are you gonna put like a rainbow flag on your chair? Well, I have an idea for a t-shirt that I might put off but oh It's a it's a gay Confederate flag Okay I think it's a very Confederate flag. Okay.

I think it's a very profitable t-shirt. Yeah, obviously I can't say the name of the t-shirt because I don't want to get too sad of God. Oh, okay. But I think the four are smart enough. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, you're going to see this guy again.

You're not in a relationship. That's your late in life. Yeah, I guess you should play the field a little bit, probably, right? You know what I'm interested to try this thing because I'm seeing this retarded thing on Reddit about the Phantom More jobs feeling, where if they're the piece of media

associated to a time that you had sex or Did a sexual act you get the feeling again really watch it right and We were watching Manhattan at the time when he happens man Manhattan and It happened right towards the last 30 minutes, you know when he showed up to the school and tell the chick that he was and all that stuff. So I'm gonna wait like a month or two and then watch manhattan again. Uh why are you gonna make him blow you to manhattan several more

times to kind of build up a pathway in your brain to remember it. Mine as well. Mine as well. All right. Sean, do you have any additional questions? No. crippled Jesus. Is anything make you a rage on this? No. Wait for the other shoot at drop front.

Yeah, me too. Does anything make you a rage on this day? Oh, yeah. I hate, so the McDonald's next to me is app on when you know. Oh, yeah. And I fucking hate that America is such a failure now that you can't get a cheeseburger without using a data tracking machine. Yeah, we are dead. We are dead. It's crazy watching the, it's crazy watching the stimulus,

the permanent stimulus and shutdowns roll. I saw Fnucci on the news today saying maybe my next mother's day will be almost open if everything goes okay. I really had, it will be almost back to normal by next mother's day if everything goes to plan. And then I saw another article saying, I'm gonna be normal this summer.

White boy summer? Yeah. That's all I'm gonna do. And then I saw another article saying, I'm gonna be normal this summer. White boy summer? Yeah. Yeah. And then I saw another thing saying that, because they, I'm interested in getting vaccinations has dropped off completely. And they said, well, you know, it's always gonna be, it's gonna be a controllable problem now that we have.

So we're never, we're never fucking getting back to normal. I mean, I want everybody to get the vaccine. I like the idea of me rolling around the only retouch and the only person on the planet who never tired it. Yeah. So get your vaccine, get your autism or whatever, Johnson and Johnson, whatever one you can aboard, just get it right into your veins. You want more hookups, you're saying?

Yes. For people more high-functioning autisms to be out there. Well, not only that, but I think it would be very funny if the fat people telling me to wear a mask because if I don't, it's a health hazard. Yeah. I think it would be very funny if they lost all movement in the right side of the face. That would be funny. Yeah, I thought the bell's pausing. All right, cripple Jesus.

Goodbye. I know you enjoy your new lifestyle. I'm sure. I will, buddy. Okay. I'm sure you won't be paying in the ass if anyone's asked about it. Oh, good luck, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, now, Rad asked real quick. Sure. Shout out to the school. Rad asked. What do you have to say to Rad? It helps me with. She just helped me with my journey of the gaming. So Oh, Red has turned you gay? Well, no, she's helping me cope with it more. So Oh, what do you need to what do you need to cope with?

Well, in the early stages, I was like, I can't really be gay. Can I? And she's this is like kind of just don't pay attention to it. Why didn't you think you could be gay? Well, you know, it's a, you don't want to admit at first that you're gay. And it's not something that you want to say right away. But I don't care now. You don't care now.

So this is different. Yeah, for like the first couple of weeks, it bothered me like I can't really be gay, man. And it's just like now, fuck it. Yeah, but you can use the apps about it as much as you want now, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's another perk for sure. Yeah, that's a big perk.

So up until about a month ago or whatever, thought that you might be gay, never crossed your mind. Never. And then once it did. Oh, man, I just pushed it down. Yeah. Oh, okay. And drugs.

You pushed it down with alcohol and drugs. That's a little more. Well, it was the first, when was the first time you thought about a big penis? Do you remember that? I remember that. It was probably when the lockdown started, I I started working a lot more trap point. Oh, really?

I was still with the paddoin there. Okay. Good. Well, I guess we'll see how this turns out, Sean. It's a story and development. So you have infancy. You did fuck that stripper, right? Oh, yeah. I've had sex with many strippers. So, really, it's also news.

Sexual professionals and it didn't feel as good as this. So, maybe I'm gay. So, crippled Jesus in the chair, fucks many strippers and a guy before any of the other virgins, God, they're there. There are like several listeners moving toward their 10th story apartment windows right now.

He lapsed. He lapsed them and then learned another sport and lapsed. He's a Michael Jordan. This is too easy. All right, girl, Jesus, goodbye. Get out of here. Jesus Christ. Alright, I still don't know which way is up

in that whole story. Ah, we'll see. Just a couple more voicemails. And then I have to go wish my mom a happy, used front hole day. Good God, I can't believe you. I guess that's the day. I'm not a bigot.

I'm not gonna say, mother is a bigot in terms. Your mother. Well, but it's a bigot. I'm not gonna say mother is saying Mother is a bigoted terms your mother Well, I but it's a general purpose. All right Is that a day just for her? It's a day about celebrating what she represents, which is a used front hole. I'm not dying on this hill I dick and Sean I got a real rage for yes, okay every time I go out out somebody moves them out or fucking clear the storage unit, the most difficult fucking thing to get rid of is a fucking mattress. Why is it so fucking difficult just to get rid of a fucking mattress? Yeah. Well at the same time everywhere else charges you 70 up to 100 fucking dollars and there

are always 10 fucking miles away from where you're at. It's never fucking easy, but when you try dumping it, at anywhere else, it's a thousand dollars fine. I've got to lay fucking me over in the ass. Yeah. I mean, you don't dump it. Like you just don't tie it down in the back, and then you go like, where are you going on the freeway?

And you go, oh no, no, you got to go, oh no. Like that. Oh no. Well, there's a homeless camp down that embankment. They'll probably make good use of it. You don't want it to catch. You don't want the, you know, it's a catch any, you know, wind though and fly off and kill someone behind you.

So you got to, well, you got to do it before you actually get on the freeway. Like you said, it's got a, it's got a, it's got a tumble out due to a turn, not because the, you know, it catches air. To be safe, you could pull over and throw it. You could, but you have to do that. Oh, no. Right. Everyone knows that it was a complete accident and that you did not mean in any way for that to happen. So when the cops you over and says, do you just dump that mattress and you go, no, I said, oh, no, I was totally fucking out of my mind. I'm intentional.

And then I panicked. Right. Officer, you know what that's all about. Yeah. Shooting, right? Right. We know what that's about. Um, you know, we moved out of that apartment.

I threw those couches out in the alley. Yeah. Behind that pirate store? Yeah, pirate store. Right. Okay, one more. Dick and Sean, I don't believe what I just saw. I just saw.

If face mask, but it isn't, not only if face mask, but it isn't not only a face mask, but it also lights up a little LED light bulbs inside the mask. So when you're talking, the little light bulbs correspond to when you're talking. And it's like, well, that's everybody look at me. Okay, it's weird. And then if you're not talking, it put the smile on your face. Oh my god. We're never a bunch of fucking goons walking around now. A bunch of some of them are LED smiles on their face. That was great. Awesome. Somebody's buying those. I don't know if that guy who

makes those as a fucking genius or he's genius. Yeah, I mean, so you're talking into your mask. And then when you stop, it's miles. It's miles, it's miles. It's miles. I'm so happy. Oh my God. Well, that happened. Well, thank God that we have to wear masks forever. Man, you know what makes me a fucking rage? I'm assuming you guys talk about just shit talking comic.

No. And it's comics. Oh man, I remember growing up, i had this neighbor who was like an actual actual art for comic book uh... i would go to the local shop sometimes he'd be there just promoting his shit he'd give me free stuff i thought it was often that i got me into comics

i go to fucking college and i'm trying to like oh yeah me and means the friends go to the fucking comic store every once in a while and then I get some comics and They all suck Yeah, like every post the fucking secret wars reboot Especially everything that came afterwards cuz I'm a blood for spider-man That's something I'll admit something deep down It's just some child is bullshit that I love so I pick for spider-man. That's something I'll admit. Something deep down. It's just some trial, this bullshit that I love. So I pick up spider-man and I'm like, you know what?

He's not just doing his thing where he just fucking swings around in the city and beat the bad people. Mm-hmm. It's so much fucking gummer than that. So I'm gonna read the Miles Morales thing. Okay. Cool. He's just swinging around being a teenager in New York struggling and then at the very end, you see like 40 other superheroes nearly dead from a battle because they want you to buy another fucking theory. Well yeah. And buy another comic books. Fuck comic books, fuck comic book movies, fuck comic books. Yeah, fuck a shit. That's how comic there you go. There you go. All right, everybody. Wait one more, one more, one more, one more.

Yeah, so, uh, Jake, I guess you were fucking wrong about those coins. Cause I'm sitting here looking at this amazing crash. It's going on. And I'm still 600% in the fucking black. Oh, fuck fuck. I just show love Oh, yeah. I'm gonna leave that fuck. Oh, ho. I just show, love you Sean. Bye bye. Bye. Oh, Sean, the people, the people at the beginning of the pyramid scheme made out like bandits.

Did you? Did you ever think about that for a moment? The people who invested, who put their money into it. I always thought the people at the end did the best because it's like the big solid base. No. I always thought that they made all the money. No, as it turns out, people at the top took all the risk.

As it turns out, the people at the beginning of the scam, you're thinking of a different kind of, you're thinking of a funnel. Yeah. Scam, which doesn't exist. I get those two. So I get those two mixed up. Oh my God, the,

Oh, Dick's just butt hurt about Dogecoin. Okay. But we'll put more fucking money into it then. To all the people, all the people that, while you're simultaneously, this jackass, while you're bragging about,

This is what he loves the show. While you're simultaneously bragging about loves the show. While you're simultaneously bragging about how much money you made by buying it when it was worthless and selling it to morons when it's worth, I guess, something. When it's worth 600% more, you're simultaneously saying I'm wrong for telling people not to buy something

that you're making an extraordinary profit on from what you from a utility you can't explain to fine and do not know. This is the issue. Don't if you've got if you've got if you've got a shitload of people who are bragging about how much money they made on something that's not a good time to start buying it. No matter what, I don't care if you're talking about Apple, Amazon, or something that provides absolutely nothing but a picture of a dog. That's not the time to do it. Oh, just but heard. But heard, but heard.

Can't make an argument without a meme. That's people today. Can not make an argument without a meme. I your but heard. I'm but heard. How much is it down today? Full stop. Full stop. Enjoy it.

Enjoy holding the bags. Enjoy it. Take you take, do you tell people to buy a 50 cents? So they buy and now you take their money and then they weigh and then they what? They it goes, who's who the fuck you just keep telling everybody to buy more and more and more and more and more. Eventually you run out of people because not a single bank is buying into this. Whereas every other theory and big every other single one, banks are well, this has some pretty good technology actually. We're going to save a lot of money. This

whole new distributed finance industry is gonna be big. We can make a lot of use out of this. Chainlink, Ethereum is gonna, this is a distributed computing platform. Something that's the world's never seen before. We need to buy it. We need to buy it now to get in early so we can have priority processing on the blockchain.

We gotta buy in. What about Dodgecoin? Is it about buying to that? No, it has no value. No. So just let a bunch of broke and dumb morons trade money with each other. Right. Prop it up for a second.

Prop it up. And it's, yeah. And it's the influencers I hate most of all, the porn stars and the influencers who get on and say we need to prop this up. Like you're not doing any, you just already own it. You're telling stupid people to buy it so that you can take their money. But that's not, well, you should be fucking shot for doing that. That's sustainable.

It's not sustainable. Obviously. Yeah. I, ah, it annoys me. Scams, stupid people annoy me. Scams annoy me very much. Because if you take, if you have enough stupid people

losing their ass on Doge, which anybody who comes in now is losing their ass. Anybody who comes, anybody who comes in at the final stages of the pyramid scheme loses their ass, because there's no more pee. If SNL didn't bump it up, there's no bigger audience of dummies to prop it up. Like that's it.

You've got the American idiots, and there's no bigger selection of idiots. So that's the lowest space now everybody who gets in his fucked. All the stupid people who got get fucked at that stage are going to say, well, somebody, the government should have told us not to do that. There should have been a label on the dogecoin that says, this is not a valid thing to buy. And I want my money back. Or at least, I think that that shouldn't happen to anybody else. So let's get some regulation into this. Somebody's gonna come, somebody's gonna,

Jalen's gonna wag her big old dick in there and say, you know what, you guys are right. All of you morons, all of you morons who are responsible for every bad thing that's ever happened with all your tyranny and legislative bullshit. I hear what you're saying. Don't worry. We are gonna ask fuck crypto and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and do dumb shit this week. Now you can do as much dumb shit as you want. You'll never lose it. We put a universal doover in the blockchain, because we took it over. The Pentagon completely took it over.

You are every, every bowling lane is bumper bowling. Takes your split hurt. Oh, don't worry. Am I a crypto-zoom, just fine. These, number, all right, goodbye. Say bye, buddy. just fine.

All right, goodbye. See you.