The Dick Show - Episode 263 - Dick on the Return of Sean

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

I wash my watch, the Federal Reserve buys America, "The Biggest Problem in the Universe" is funded and will return in two weeks, Mersh is on Alex Jones, Patty C Cups Lashes Out at me and Karl, more gay talk from straight men, and blowing up the moon; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I don't remember how to do the show with just us. I got to start doing dick writings again. So I remember what it is to talk to just you. That's true. That's true. See, Vito, I say something like that. Vito will talk for 10, 15 minutes about Pokemon or Nintendo's or any something. Well, I think whoever sits in this chair is going to be a little more quiet than whoever

sits in that chair. Are you saying if you were sitting in that chair, you'd be, I'm fucking out at that. Yeah, but I'd probably veto. Oh, what do you think? What do you think of that? What do you think of the fill-in shows? I loved it.

You loved it. Yeah. No, no qualifiers. Easiest money you ever made. Yeah, right? No. The second, I think it was the second week I was mixing it, I go, God, this was a really good show.

Yeah. I mean, the whole thing was like, yeah, it was a, and I don't mean, I mean, the concept of the show, like I missed the show. Oh, you mean, you mean, yeah, the biggest problem. I do miss the biggest problem just because it was, it was funny. It was like, it was a nice, tight show. There were, there were a lot of things to like about it. A lot of things to like. And every format. I really like the format. A veto saying, like before we did it, I told Vito, like, just come in. We know we'll do

the biggest problem for a man. Just to distract people from the fact that Sean's not something is different happening. Right. I think people liked it, didn't they? They loved it. Yeah. They came back. He came back as like people are going, people are going absolutely bonkers for this show. They just love the format so much. It worked. Vito was great. I always think Vito is good. Johnny had a couple of just, just little drop-ins that were so subtle you could miss them, but they were so fucking funny. There was one about the, you guys had like some 15 year old semen retainer or something that was a little point in your absence, the semen retainer. Well people under age semen retainer, and Colin.

Yeah, that was bizarre, but also very entertaining. And Vito goes, you guys are like, wait, what? He was actually doing like the Dr. Strange love thing, where it's, you know, I mean, where you're like, wait, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, serious? Yeah. Vito goes, I mean, what, what, what happens to you? I mean, what is it?

What is that duty on, Johnny just goes, he goes, when you get bloated, you know, just fucking, the way he said it, get really bloated. You're really bloated. Yeah, well, yeah, that probably is what happens to you. I've been trying that semen retention thing. How's it working? Can't hang on to it.

I don't feel so good. I feel so good today. We got it on the brain. Yeah. That's where my grades go straight to my... Everybody's built differently. Yeah. It goes right into my head.

I get to get it out of there every couple, every hour on the hour. It's like what's at a big bend. Hydrocephaly. Hydrocephaly, but it's not water. What's hydro every couple, every hour on the out. It's like what's at a big bend. Hydrocephaly. Hydrocephaly, but it's not water. What's hydrocephaly? Water on the brain. Oh yeah, that's what I got. Water on the brain.

Anything to replace the alcohol. Alcohol is mostly water. Yeah, they don't teach you that. No, in booze camp. Yeah, that's how you have to learn that. It's good to see you. You too. Do you have any, do you have any tails from your trip?

Should I start, I'm gonna start the show and then we'll, then we'll get into your Sean tails. Sure, but do boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I don't think I can do that. Hahaha. Hey, hmm. Yeah. Hmm.

I remember how to do the show now. It's the liquor. Yeah. Three sips of liquor. Yeah, I can say that do the show now. It's the liquor. Yeah. Three sips of liquor. You'll see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

How are you? Welcome to the Aguilante. We love you. You've got it as a show. It's a kind of a life remount. I'm brought to you in the already silly failure. I mean, how's the admission? Hey, hey, there's $20 million.

Hey, I'm gonna make it worse. Max again, $100 and back in 13 weeks running me, joining me back in the studio after his hiatus, his three week hiatus is world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. I'm just undoing Johnny's fucked up gain structure. Oh, throw him under the bus right away. Did he do stuff?

I might have done stuff too, but it was bad he did it. I was fiddling around in there, because you left it in a state that wasn't usable without your, like, it took me forever to learn that this microphone's volume was just all the way down. And I said, fucking Sean. Oh yeah. You knew that I was gonna be in here frantically

trying to figure things out and couldn't set it up in a way where it just worked Do you have anything to say for yourself about that? Well, I left the session in perfect order, but I probably did have the The gain pot down on that mic. Maybe that Mike that Mike. I love you enough for four mics Well, I don't know what to say You have to turn up five and six big news news, big news the top of the show. Big news, veto, money grubbing veto. I don't work for free veto.

Yeah, sure. Hit his Patreon goal that quickly. And less than a day. Yeah, the people have spoken. Oh, they have. They want more episodes of Vito and my show, the biggest problem in the universe, and they want them right now.

We're doing, he hit his $500 a month goal in less than 24 hours. Unbelievable. There's nothing like voting with your wallet. Unbelievable support. Awesome. So go to biggestproblem.show. Yeah. Let me see, I completely enjoyed those episodes.

You did. I really did. What did you think was the best problem? Which of mine did you think was the best problem? Um, Shit, I don't remember. Okay, great. What problems do you remember? Well, I've never listened to the shows for the problems.

And I never thought that was the point of the show. That's where George always fucked up. It's like, I think he actually wanted to rank the problems as opposed to just hearing guys riff on like stupid things. Yeah. Like shitting with your shirt on and the top head on. Yes. That was a good, right. That was a good one. I thought, I, there's a big wiping debate. You know what I wish going on. I wanted to go through this whole show and never have that wiping conversation. Who brought that in? Well, Vito came in hot with it.

Yeah. And as a sitter, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, I don't know. What did you, who did you think was right in that debate? I don't really, I think you could do what works. God damn it. All right, Sean. I mean, what's, it's pleading the fifth on that. Chinese apologies, one.

You have to get, the object is, the end result is all that matters in that case. All right. That's one where the methodology doesn't necessarily. Real sensible, sensible response. Chinese apologies. Disinformation came in second. So Vito wins.

Vito wins the biggest problem. Chinese apologies. Yeah, trilogy, really. Actually. That was a good, that was the biggest problem. Chinese apologies. Trilogy, really boot. That was a good, that was a good problem. Chinese apologies. Yeah, I think you guys touched on LeBron James and stuff and it's like, yeah, everybody, you know,

it's like, what price would you sell out for? That's a hard one. I don't know. I'd sell out for a lot less than LeBron. Oh, you would? Probably. I don't know if I could, but then everyone's going to make funny you for the rest of your life.

I just, I shut down all internet. My dad. I've got live in the woods, but I have a lot of money buried in a coffee can in the yard. I don't know. I don't know if anything would be worth that amount of shame. I guess he doesn't, you know, I guess he doesn't, I mean, I guess you can always have more money. I don't know how, I mean, he's got to be worth,

he's got to be worth close to a billion dollars with when everything's said and done. Cena. No, I mean, oh, LeBron. LeBron James. I mean, you know, like China's, and it's like the biggest basketball market outside of the US. And they've got billions of people.

Well, I think we're going to record on the 23rd, maybe, the new biggest problem in the universe with Vito. It's gonna be, it's gonna be up for free. We're not paywalling it. No. No. I'll be damned. How about that?

Jesus. I'm learning, this is a whole new side of me. The right. This whole, just give it away, no paywall, anything. Even giving Vito the money, which I thought was very generous of me. I don't, I'm not asking for anything in this. Just give Vito his 500 bucks and then let's do the show for the fans. I say Sean, it's

a whole new me for white boy summer that I'm getting into. I'm highly, this is very suspicious. All right. Let me see. Confused and aroused. Let me see if I got to maybe just confused. We just confused. So there you go. Biggest problem Dutch show How was your trip? It was good. It ended up being good. I heard you read the one text. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah Anything else was bad happened to you. No, just that they credit us back four days for this fucking Volkswagen Atlas piece of shit. They're supposed to be like a premium SUV, you know I want to put would have been much better taking one of our cars, but yeah, I didn't you run it. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, unlimited miles. It was like, you know,

it was reasonable, you know, as far as the price goes, and it was, but it was like, apparently, there's a, there's a known cooling issue. I think like evaporates coolant, like at an alarming rate, the fucking tire blew out. I think somebody had fucking blistered the side wall or something. Nothing like changing a tire on the middle of nowhere in New Mexico, changing a fucking tire because you know, triple A is going to take forever to get there, changing a tire with fucking nothing but 18 wheelers whizzing by fucking the side of the road.

Right about that. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of a little more. There was no shoulder weight. It was like this. So it's like There's no way that fucking jack was gonna and you were out there yourself. Yeah, this thing was fucking shredded And then you had to get triple A

Like because the fucking spare was way too low. Yeah, it was yeah, that was fun Okay, let me see what makes you a rage the buck buck breaking if you break broken any bucks Broke any bucks. Yeah, she doesn't tell you, you're gonna have to explain. Oh, yeah. I was in the cell. I was, well, I guess I, yeah, I was down in Texas. Yeah. How many did you,

you bucks getting broken down in Texas? Bucks getting broken down. Yeah. No, the only thing, I keep thinking deer season. No, but not that type of deer. No, Tareek Nashid is. I know the name. He's this guy.

He's like a race hustler. Everything's white supremacy. Oh, yeah. Okay. So he made it. He's been around a minute, right? I got to catch you up on all the other. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no around a while. Yeah. He made a documentary called Buck Breaking.

Buck Breaking, which is a practice, he says, the documentary, historical documentary, where slave owners back in the slavery times, back in black slavery times, would take the most alpha male, the buck, and have all kinds of weird, like, weird feminizing gay, sexy, sodomy with him, like, punish to break him with sexual shame. You mean like the slave owners would do that?

Yeah, we do that. They would get together and have a little party, like, uh, uh, of the Skull and Bones Club and dress up and stone cutters, stone cutters union where no homers, homers, Simpson, fucks black guys. Yeah. Break them in. Yeah. Problem is this never happened.

There's no historians to this is not, huh? This is not a thing that, and first of all, it's not a thing because homosexuality was a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a reality is, is Terygna Sheed, the race usler has made a documentary about gay interracial slavery sex that he has imagined. And he's commissioned all these paintings and pictures and stuff for the documentary, like depictions of it.

So it's just, he just created the secret he gets. I don't know. Perhaps that's a reasonable question. I mean, I'll be asking at this point, I don't know, I've never heard that. I mean, that's, which part of you never heard? The part that doesn't exist. I mean, yeah, if that's, yeah.

Huh. Yeah. That was nice. Let's see. El Salvador adopted Bitcoin. Is that right? No, I did not. Legal tender.

Legal tender, let me pull this up here. So we're moving the show to El Salvador. Okay. This is what I read this from the IMF. Yeah. Where did I read this? The bit co-inization of El Salvador. It is a they said it was a they don't see the utility. And difficult to see the benefits. It may

imparole negotiations with the IMF. That was the statement from the IMF. Yeah. Yeah. Difficult to understand the benefits. Yeah. Right. And it may seriously, Imperial negotiations with the most evil organization in the history of the world. A bunch of fucking gangsters. Definitely. Without saying it, we're going to make it real fucking tough for you. Yeah. Don't do this. You there and have a meeting with you guys. This is gonna seriously imperil your negotiations with us, the entity that exists only to give billions of dollars to the third world to keep their citizens in abject poverty.

Yeah, we have no control over. I mean, you would be just shooting yourself right in the head. Yeah, you'd really be, we're trying to stop you. We're over here just trying to negotiate. As a central banking consortium that has all of the money and you have none, we're trying to give you a good deal to your debt, to our money. We just can't understand why you would do this Bitcoin when you would do this Bitcoin. Yeah. When it could endanger our relationship after all we've done for you.

Oh, we've done for you. That's the IM after all we've done for you. Why do you make me, why did you do this? Why did you make me hit you? Yeah, I hate it when you make me do that. May Imperial negotiations, that was my favorite. Well, isn't that the benefit then? You fucking idiots is't that the benefit then? You fucking idiots?

Is not that the only benefit that everybody that all of us are betting on, that it may Imperial negotiations, that it may Imperial you permanently in a permanent way. Well, might hurt. I mean, it's going to get put it's going to get on the global banking industry's bad side. Yeah. Can't see a benefit, but what it's going to do is it's going to get on the global banking industry's bad side. Yeah. Can't see a benefit, but what it's going to do is it's going to piss off all the banks who only exist. Here's another one for you. This one, I don't know, this one might be a little, a little much.

Bringing the banking cartel back to our home, back to our hometown of America. Black rock has is buying up all new entire housing tracks, all new homes, housing tracks all across the country. Did you, did you know about that? No. No. I don't know. Let me pull this up. No, but I mean, that's, that's interesting for the housing market. I mean, you see what that's going to do. It's like, yeah, I mean, a lot of houses around here, even, are Chinese owned, and they don't live here. No. So it's like, yeah, I mean, you're, you know, you're fucking with the market. Black rock.

You're fucking with supply. Black rock is buying every single family house they can find paying 20 to 50% above asking price and outbidding normal home buyers. Yeah. That's fucking terrible. It's outrageous. BlackRock who is? Who's BlackRock?

They're a gigantic, gigantic hedge fund that was one of the few that was paid directly by the federal reserve at the start of the pandemic to the panel. The federal reserve bought shares of their, bought, gave money to BlackRock, that BlackRock is now using to buy all homes away from citizens, all homes. So this doesn't just hire the entire concept of intergenerational wealth is now destroyed for a significant amount of Americans.

Even more. Even more. Even more. It's already destroyed for a, this goes about, Even more. Even more. Already destroyed for a second. This goes about, you know, that to derail you. Cause this is a, this is fascinating. But you, you brought in a piece of information, I think on the first week, that is so, if anybody glossed over that, go back and listen to that.

And I'm going to explain it poorly. You, basically the boomer generation versus now, what, how many hours of work does it cost to buy a piece of the S&P, right? It went from 20 to now, it's like 140. That's insane. Yeah. That's insane.

If that doesn't show you, this is not, this is not, we no longer live in our parents America. It is a different country. For example, a hundred and twenty four new home, a hundred and twenty four new home neighborhood was bought. And it's entirety in Texas. Average Americans were outbid to the tune of $32 million of your own money.

You can't compete with that. You can't compete with your own fucking money. Home sold in an average of 20% above the listing. Now the entire neighborhood is made up of SFRs. SFRs are single family residents. Single family rentals. So they've bought this whole great reset thing. Well, SFR and normal appraisal speak

is single family residents, but they redefined it. Yeah, it's a trans. SFRs, they rolled up the entire economy, dumped it into hands of hedge funds, and then they used that money to buy all of our houses, that they will now rent them to you forever. Right. You can't buy them. You get none of the benefits of them. I'm only gonna fucking out bid. You can't buy them, you get none of the benefits of the following hour. I'm fucking out, Bid.

You can't. That's fun, they just, they make the money themselves, they just printed. Once again, you know, you're in the club, or you're not in the club. Yeah. And we ain't in the club. Well, I realized too, when I was looking at this,

like, I mean, there's got to be severe consequences for the, there's got to be severe fed posting consequences that I cannot, that I cannot talk about openly that I cannot talk about openly because Because all speeches controlled by a by an advertising by a tech technological advertising conglomerate so I can't say what needs to be done To stop this and then I realize You've got

millions of young men arguing about nothing and nonsense all day. Oh, this is being taken from, when this is being taken from, maybe that's a fucking point. Maybe they don't fucking deserve any of it. Why? It was so easy. It's been so easy. I think it's because anybody who actually thinks about it realizes that what the fuck can you do?

Honestly. No, I know. Do you think there's, this is like a, you know, this is way far out, because I think things have to get a lot fucking worse. How can it get worse than this? No, then this, I mean, I think it's gonna, you know, what I mean, where like people are,

where like people are in the street eventually. I mean, like Thomas Jefferson, it's going to be, you think it's going to be a fucking, yeah, like a, like a French revolution thing instead of against the corporateocracy rather than the fucking church and the crown. Like, how bad does it have to get before you realize that you are just getting fucked over and over again with your own fucking money, always less for you. More for them. It's fucking, it's crazy. It's in, it's insane.

We bought them all. The, the, the, Can I buy one? The Americans, The Americans dream too much money renting them. It's fucking dead. This is a different country. It had a very brief period of, of being what we were always told it was.

Yeah. And it's gone. And I don't think it's ever, ever, ever coming back without massive, you know, without like a massive upsettling, unsettling of some sort. I can't own a home anymore. No, I know. What is, no, I know.

What is that? I mean, what do you get out on? Dude, I make big coins. That's the way enough money to fucking own a home in any other time. No, I mean in any other time. Yeah, I can't fucking buy in any place where I don't have to worry about talking if I walk by a window. You got hedge funds bidding against you to the tune of 40%. Above asking, and I'll just hold it forever. Good for them. Okay, let's see what else I got. Mother fuckers.

Yeah, really. It's really starting to annoy me. Because people are arguing over raptop and like, well, biological men have an event like, man, you talk about fucking women's sports. Well, while global banking, it's a tax disaster, it's stealing your fucking home.

It's because this is, it's one of those things where it's almost a self preservation thing, I think for a lot of people, if you think about it, you'll go crazy. You don't feel completely powerless to do anything about it. So you go with something, you go with the bite size shit that you can have a fucking strong opinion on.

Yeah. And maybe you can make a fucking strong opinion on. Yeah. And maybe you can make a little influence in your, you know, in your sphere. Maybe you can change something, you know, in, you know, just on a micro level. Yeah. Like this, too big. Too big. Too big. That's what I, that was the, I was retaining my semen in the shower.

Yeah. And it came to that same revelation. Like, well, maybe I'm just a bad guy. Like if people don't care about this, this is bad guys doing it. Maybe I'm just a fucking bad guy then. I got it. I see what you're doing. Well, yeah, but you're not.

I fight it. Yeah. All right. Well, you can't fight city hot. Or you can't fight city hot. Whatever the expression is, you can't blow city hot. You can't blow. Yeah, because they retain city hall retains its semen.

And you can't compete with that. It is we are doing the show with you again. Yeah, I feel totally out of sorts. We should probably do. I hear my, take a son of together or something. Yeah, I work it on. Retain semen together.

Here's a, remember Cash Floor? I hear myself talking and I have no idea what I'm saying. Now, do you remember that show Cash Floor that Mattics did? Where he was in on the elevator and uncomfortably hit on that girl and they had asked questions of people on the elevator Vegas? Yeah, right. I remember how I said it was like a big scam, probably,

that they just got a bunch of money to film in Vegas and then pop it in and purposefully made it a shitty show. Yeah. So they wouldn't have to sell it and do it. Yeah. It's been done. Here's Cash Floor was a hot-light production. Here's the CEO, just pled guilty to wire fraud.

Mm. Mm. To obtain two shirts, I'm just understanding. Yeah, false, false expense reports, blah, blah, blah, the works, you know how it is, Sean. Good shit. Uh, here's one. Oh, it's such a fucking, fucking, it's all just a racket.

Pornatics. Can't catch a brick. I don't know if this was a pretty, usually, usually Congress has some pretty dumb ideas for. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But this was a pretty good idea. Rep Louie Gomerte from Texas on Tuesday asked a representative from the US Forest Service.

You liked the forest, right? Yeah. I like the forest. If it was possible to, this is a US Forest Service representative, like Ranger, Yogi Bear. Right, right. Yeah. If it was possible to alter the orbit of the moon

or the earth as a way of combating climate change. Okay. That's with end. Right. That's the end of my presentation. That's phenomenal. It's possible Yeah, I'm gonna go more. Somehow it involves ballistics or something, you know? It's like, I think it should. Or Superman to understand what's been tested. Blah blah blah. There you go. More gems coming in. Okay.

That's phenomenal. Yeah. And people, people vote. Did you see that lady sticking back? People vote for this sticking metal on herself to prove that vaccines made you magnetic? No, but I love those people. They are my favorites. They're always worried about where they talk about like I'm getting like burns from like frequency and that you can see that it's, you know, this hand is more red than this one.

I love that shit. Nano fibers. I do feel always a little, because you know, they're living in like a personal hell. They like, they need, they need help. Yeah. They're fucked. But here we go. Who is this health expert? Although the data show is that severe COVID is rare in children. Wide spread vaccination is a critical tool to help stop transmission.

That's why I'm excited. We've begun dosing participants aged five to 11 in a global phase two out of three study. Although the data shows that it's rare, we're still going to go ahead. We'll roll out. No, I understand. Rare, I mean, I'd rare for them to have complications. It's rare for kids to have any problems with COVID. Yeah.

But they're going to go ahead and roll out the vaccine. They're going through with the other people. Because like you can, they can still, they'll be fine, but they'll transfer it to other people who aren't vaccinated. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but the kids get hurt. I want to be absolutely clear. The kids get hurt from the vaccine.

Some of them, you mean some kids get blood clots or whatever, like this is not been tested very long. The whole, the whole, that's a COVID vaccine. Well, they're all, it's not existed for very long. We talk about, no, it's, but you know that like none of it's approved. It's all emergency use. Right. Well, that's the thing.

No, all of it. It takes, it can take 10 years to get through the FDA. That's why everyone's got it. When we go down the street, you go to 711 and you give vaccine. When we talked about, well, yeah, you can pick it up on the, it's like at the impulse buying right up by the, by the front. Yeah. It's a little paxidonets.

Uh-huh. And then the vaccine, you're like, oh, shit, I've been meaning to pick one of these up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the, it can take 10 years to get a full approval from the FDA. That's why, but it's hurting kids. The CDC, some amount, non-zero amount is hurting kids, right? I get, I know. I don't read anything about it. There's got to be one. I mean, blood clots, whatever they're saying is complications, whatever, whatever you want to test it for. If you want to talk about blood clots, though, then you got to take ad bill off the market.

You know what I mean? No. Or the pill. Yeah, but kids are taking the pill. This is kids. I'm talking about it. You sound like just like a pedophile. This is, I had a big argument with my sister last week over this, it's like you need to get the vaccine. I was like, this is fucking my body. My choice, get the hell out of here.

I'm not worried. I'm not worried about getting COVID. No, never was. I'm still not. I think I'm naturally immune. You may be. At this point, I think I'm talking about whatever. I would think so.

You probably get around mental. You've been around a, yeah, no, you may, you very well, you very well may be, maybe very difficult, if not impossible, for you to get it. And it is, you know, you, you, you can't, it's again, it's a different country if you're, if you're forcing people to get a vaccine. So you can only force kids to get a vaccine. They don't get them on their own. No, but they can even the knowledge that you do have to do this,

you know, you do have to do it in school. It's like if you, if you ever travel to, you're like an ages old, like everybody's now is. Yeah, sure. And measles is worse than whatever you get from getting vaccinated for measles. Yeah, well, here's another, I'm just saying, here's another thing. I think there's, there's also, well, here's another, just saying, here's another thing.

I think there's, there's also, yeah, the newness scares people, but also the, the actual complications scare people too. They are very, very low though. Very low. Like, that's, they're, I think the Johnson and Johnson one, like the FDA put a temporary hold on it because six women developed a rare type of blood clot. Too many.

But it was, yeah, even one gets a blood clot, which is, you know, other vaccines have a much higher instance of, you know, anything like that. It's, it's, it's, this kids, so far, it's hundreds of millions have been, you know, vaccinated. It's, this is kids though. That's what I'm saying. This is what I said to her, like, wait, you're not vaccinated. It's, this is kids though. You know, I'm saying, this is what I said to her like, wait, you're not vaccinating your fucking kids. Are you? Right away? Nothing. They can't get it. And nothing will happen to them. No, I would,

I would, I would probably hold off on that. Yeah, I would think, uh, I would just hold off on that. I think it's funny to see them say like, well, you know, it does. The kids, nothing will happen to them to get COVID. Most likely. We don't really, I mean, it's iffy, something might, it's but fuck them. It's all in its skin because I don't want it. I want to go out and party. I don't want anyone I know to get sick. So fuck them.

You see the South Park where like the old people got the vaccine first and then they turn into like kids and they're like, yeah, fuck you. Fuck you. See you pussy's later they're driving around and fucking convertibles and party and it's like, oh, we're good. Fuck all y'all. It's exactly what it is though. That's funny.

I'll fuck these kids. How, what would the number have to be when the police have to break on these? We'll check the sex on these vaccines. Here's another, here's another reason reason why people are real hesitant too. The polio vaccine, people lined up around the block, fucking immediately. And it's twice. Here's the thing.

It's a, it's, they're almost polar opposites. Coronavirus is similar to things that, well, you know, there's tons of coronavirus around. This is a different one, but this one mimics, in a lot of cases, like flu or severe flu, has more complications, but it generally affects old people, right? So people are like, well, most likely I'm gonna be fine.

So we called people. So now contrast that with polio, that fucks kids up bad physically. People were like, shit, you're fucked for life. People were lined up around the block to get the polio, that fucks kids up bad. Basically, people were like, shit, you're fucked for life. People were lined up around the block to get the polio vaccine. That was polio. We never didn't have anything really else like that. So people embraced that vaccine right away where this one, they're like, I'm probably

going to be fine. It's old people too. They should stay safe. Why should everybody get vaccinated? So I understand the hesitation. There's going to be million vaccines. There's going to be millions of kids getting it. It's horrible.

It's absolutely horrible. That exists and that people are like, oh, they should probably get it. You know, it's gotta be, it's gotta lock it down. I had some stupid thing from YouTube. Let me see if Fnucci's getting attacked for science. See that at all, Sean. Twitter versus Nigeria.

Did you know Nigeria banned Twitter? No, I did not. I'm not on Nigerian Twitter that much. Oh, it's a blast. I had to, it's really wild. Nigeria was just on Twitter too much. I had to cut off several countries. So Twitter complained about it, where deeply concerned

by the blocking of Twitter and Nigeria, access to the free and open internet is an essential human right. What does Trump have a Nigerian account? They're like, oh, wait, there's some fucking loose cannon on here. You know what, shut the whole fucking thing down. You know what, can we just take a minute to celebrate Trump's spritz day tomorrow on Monday? Did he make it to another one?

He made it to 78-79. I don't know. Yeah. I hope he doesn't live to see prison, but I hope it is a little bit more. I think he- They're going to get him on tax evasion. Oh, I think we need to get- If Hitler hadn't shot himself, he would be on in jail right now for tax evasion. Yeah, yeah, even so he would, yeah, tax evasion. Same way to get, if Hitler hadn't shot himself, he would be on in jail right now for tax evasion.

Yeah, even so he would, yeah. Tax evasion. You're a prison for tax evasion, you live forever. Yeah, that's, oh God, that's gonna be so sad. You gotta get syphilis like Al Capone. We will work to restore, okay. So it's a free and open, it's a free and it's an essential human right to have, how many times does Twitter remove

remove my human rights then? An essential human right. Yeah, access to the free Twitter remove my human rights that an essential human right. Yeah, access to the free and open that Twitter did about getting banned and I just hear an essential access to the free and the internet. Human rights not even all countries have the fucking internet, I think. How many how how many accounts have I lost? There are a lot of fucking. I use human rights. Fucking Micronesia. I know probably probably look more than you think. Let me see if Mersh is around.

Nope. Mersh was gonna call in and talk about Gavin begins today. Oh my god that last that's fucking a I mean near the end of the last show. You you what you unleashed a withering indictment of Gavin McKinnis, his whole character,

his whole thing, his whole stick, whatever it is. And then at the end, I mean, I was laughing. And then at the end, you go, I mean, I didn't listen to it or see even what he said. Oh my fucking God. Thank you. Of course. Well, of course, because I already know what it is, man.

I already fucking know what it is. The fact that you can conjure that up and then riff on it for 15 minutes. People just exist in this world where they can pick and choose their manners at any point. It's horrible to know. As a psychopath, it's very difficult for me to handle bad manners. Yeah. Because it's the glue that keeps us, it's the obligations that keep us from killing each other.

I don't fucking problem with social media. So that's why it's not fucking, people don't face to face, people don't talk to each other like that. And then now it's like, you know, the virtual is influencing the physical because now people are talking to each other like that. You're having a lot of fucking problems. I'm like a Ted talk. I'm like, oh, here's why so and so was saying this. Here's what he said and why this is not. She's like, oh, go fuck yourself. Well, you heard my point. I did. I was highly entertained, but I just love that,

you know, I didn't watch it or listen to it. It's just like, I'm amazing. Why would you? Amazing. Why would anybody watch? Why would anybody watch anything critical of them? What a waste of time.

I mean, yeah, I guess it, you know. Hey, Jack, here's some comments. Hey, Dick, you know what? Also, I forgot how easy doing the biggest problem is. Yeah. You can literally come up with problems just walking into the studio. You always used to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. I totally forgot about that. No, you're right. Why are we doing this show for? Well, it was to find Vito. I think show has been

defined. That's what I said. A co-host. I was being and I was beginning to think you were not looking. You're saying that it was you. You were wrong. Right. Exactly.

I'm never been happier to be wrong. Grillmaster, what's up, Dick? I met my girlfriend and you subreddit. I write to you with a preposterous tale. I met my girlfriend and you subreddit on a bright and sunny early afternoon. I drunkenly peon the user. Are they both of age? We have to ask these questions nowadays.

Sub, who's claimed to be it. Would you have guessed that guy was 16? The semen retainer? Uh, no. But I don't put a stop to that. I don't think so. Well, I mean, I felt very weird when he said I was 16. Talking about semen retention with a kid.

I mean, the whole thing was weird. Okay. I honestly assumed it was a trun or a dude trying to catfish, but I was bored and figured that all I had to lose was by dignity of which I have very little to none. It turned out that she was not only real, but a total dime, great body, gorgeous face, the whole package in that order.

We talked pretty often for a couple months and I ended up flying her out to see how we vibed in person. She ended up being just as pleasant to look at and be with in person. So I ended up moving her up to be with me. I write this because for one, it's unbelievable that Reddit would provide anything of value, particularly your God-awful subreddit.

However, you kept your place as America's greatest swingman and got me laid without even trying. Thanks, I write this also because I know a lot of men look to the internet to meet women. And I'd like to offer up some wisdom. It's one, one, one-hit expert. Yeah, that's unusual. These are my favorites. They're my favorites.

Like the, the mothers on YouTube or something who are pregnant for the first time and I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. You do not love her. She does not love you. And I'm not watching a motherhood videos, by the way. What are you watching? What'd you do on your trip? Any motherhood videos?

You know what I, I listen to music. I bought a, well hung out with the nieces of course. Yeah, just family shit. I bought the nieces. That's what you call your, what? Compute or service? No, no, no, no, I bought an RC airplane and took it out there to flex. I knew they'd have big open spaces to have. It's fucking fun. I could see you getting really insane.

I know. RC, it's fucking fun. Like gas powered. Well, no, now they're all battery powered for the most part. I mean, I think the wing span is about, the wing span is like about four foot two or so. Okay. Four foot three, something like that. So, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's fly it around. It's sizable. Yeah. And it's got the like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a model of like

a, like a bush plane with like giant tires. You can land it on grass or on dirt or on. Oh, yeah. So it's fun. It's fun. I can see you getting into that big time, little visor. Yeah. So it went out to this, they're building near my brother's house.

They're building like an 80 acre park. Okay. And there's like some parts that are graded and stuff. Like you're technically not allowed to just fly those things wherever, obviously. But like out there, there's so much space and everything you can just, you could go do it. But it's fucking fun. I got that, I'm itch and to fly it out here.

Well, you do fun stuff with it. My brother-in-law, like what? Well, my brother-in-law has a drone. He gets all, he's all, that guy loves to fuck gadgets. Yeah. I mean, I assume my sister's not going to go drone because I don't really care about flying over and taking pictures. He loves pictures. He's got this GoPro drone. Every time I try to get him to do a cool, like I wanted to do me, like Rocky, two, or was it three when he's running on the beach with, you know, and they have those little shorts.

Is he in a pot? Yeah, he's running on the beach. Running on the beach. Running on the beach and it's like a steady cam on the beach. You know, let's if I just all run, it's all weird. I wanted to do that, but he won't get the goddamn drone closer than like 200 feet in the air. So it's all these pants. He won't get it. He's afraid he's going to crash it in you.

I assume so. Because he won't do anything fun that I suggest, like buzzing right by people or flying it through a car with anything that you would want to do with a drone. Like, okay, I'll do it. But then I get the footage and it's like 300 feet in the air. Yeah, so just promise me that you won't be like him. No, but I'm not gonna have a camera on it either. So, but it's fun.

It's got three different modes, right? It's got like the beginner mode that keeps, everything is real, you can like, it's very shallow, nose down, nose up. It'll self-level like if you let go of the controls, and then there's an intermediate and an advanced. And let me tell you, the jump between beginner and intermediate is something to behold.

That chick can get away from you quick, man. What are you on? Advances? I've been doing intermediate. Well, just say, yeah, I only flew it a few times, but, um, oh my God, I forgot the biggest thing that made me a regional, I washed my fucking watch. You washed it? I washed it. Oh my God. And as soon as I did, I heard it clunking around in the dryer that you gotta be fucking kidding. You know, the sun's gonna be, the sun's gonna think this is hilarious. I left it in my pocket.

No, I don't think that's funny. Oh, the fucking crown was all busted off. Oh no. It sounded like, it sounded like a, like you can squash it around inside. Oh my God. I'd set the date and water would squirt out. Is it just, is it done? I don, God. I'd set the date and the water would squirt out. Is it just, is it done? I don't know.

I don't know. I had to take it into the watch dealership. I posted it on Twitter and said, well, at least you didn't watch your phone. Like, your mother fucker, I would have watched 10 phones before I watched my watch. I was 10 phones before I watched my watch. Yeah.

Um, yeah, it's, it was like a normal service fee plus an idiot tax. Turned out to be like $1,200 or something like that, that's a fix. You could bring a new God-e-M watch. Brutal. Sickening. So now I have to go everywhere I go,

I feel like I'm naked. Cause I don't have a watch. Yeah, yeah. I need like a hair tie with a weight on it or something. Get there snapped. do not emotionally invest, do not invest emotionally, unless you're together in real life. Get their snapchat ASAP.

Okay, I'm starting to wake up. Women are more comfortable on platforms where their messages delete themselves. Ain't that the truth? Oh my God. I mean, that makes sense. You gotta get those bitches on signal immediately. Signal.

Signal. It deletes your messages. Really? Or snapchat, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Snapchat's been around a lot longer. You wanna be outed for being straight online. Signal. Signal. It deletes your messages. Really? Or Snapchat, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Snapchat's been around a lot longer.

You want to be outed for being straight online. Do not use dating apps. I see a trend of men using dating apps and hating themselves because they don't get the caliber of matches they'd like. Women on dating apps have hundreds of dicks swinging in their face at all times. You'll never win. I bet you would do good on dating apps. I mean, no desire to fucking be on a dating app. That's. I bet you would do good on dating apps. I mean, I'm not so much.

I'm not fucking be on a dating apps. That's why I think you would do good. Well, dating apps. Just look at you. You're too old. To old to be on fucking dating apps. Talk to women and drink. I need a front lawn.

So I can just scream at people. You can't really scream at people unless you have a front lawn. Are you gonna get it? You're just, you know, you get the cops lawn. Are you going to get a weird homeless guy? You got to get these glasses that I saw a long time ago for plane flying that have mirrors on them that make your vision like a far apart. You know how you have space when your eyes like two and a half is just like the overlap.

So if your eyes were real far apart, you could see a detail at a further distance. I think I don't know if this is true. So there's glasses where you get like a mirror here and a mirror here. This is for real. This is for real. That's interesting. I just want to put a real. Yeah.

And then you can supposedly see, that's how birds have such good vision from far away, because their eyes are far apart. I don't know if that's true or not. I say it sounds ridiculous. Well, birds, but. But predators generally have their eyes are far apart. I don't know if that's true or not. I say it sounds ridiculous. Well, birds, but. They're right. Well, birds, but. But predators, predators generally have their eyes in front.

You know, prey has their eyes on the side. So they can see. Like little kids. Things coming from. Talk. See a raptor attacking you from the side. Talk to women in communities. We have something in common.

And with that, do not simp for God's sake. Don't be a nice guy. Give them a little shit. Have fun. Don't go a nice guy. Give them a little shit. Have fun. Don't go in there with some cringe shit. This is UPM to girl on Reddit. Let's calm down with the cringe shit castigations. Don't act like it's anything more than it is.

A casual conversation that means nothing. Attached is a conversation to start it. Thanks, sorry, thanks for letting me go. Okay. Tudududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududud It's an alternative, like, it's just a different perspective, right, on a character. Yeah. That doesn't figure in so much to the... Yeah, I never saw a wicket. Have you seen wicket? At the Bible.

Yeah, I saw wicket. Is it good? I mean, I guess, yeah, it's just kind of dumb. Yeah, it definitely paved the way for taking the established settings and providing a fresh perspective to make the villain the actual good guy. Yeah. Or just more relatable, I think. New Marvel character, Captain vagina. Wow, let's see what that's all there was only a matter of time. Captain, you got it. And our sidekick, Seaman Retainer, you know, people are real pissed off about comics.

They love their comics. I don't know why I can't understand. Well, the IMF is too big to deal with so you gotta get pissed about something. That's what I mean. No, it's for real. Just stop getting so, stop getting so upset about this shit. You will not be able to own a house. Are you going to feel when you're renting a van?

They're not by the river about Captain, about Captain vagina. Filipino American girl. When the average American feels completely powerless to change anything, because it's not how it's supposed to fucking be. Um, yeah, but it's how it was set up. It is. Her name is Erie Abba, Abba Agboyani, whose character is inspired by the iconic Captain America.

Oh, it's just a girl with a thing. It's a tweet on Sunday or creator, Alyssa Wong shared that Erie El's character reflects the Filipino. What's the character called? The American community. Captain vagina, the guy says. I don't...

Captain America, Flim, M, R, E, I don't, Captain America, Flim, Am, Ari. I don't know. Girl's don't like comic books. Sorry, they like books. Some do, but yeah, some do, but I mean, but they also like books. Yeah, maybe clear, hun,

that women generally speaking, boys are from podcasts, women will read books. Right? Yeah, I mean, this is read books. Okay. Yeah. This is not working. I don't think this is going to get more of them in the door. Do you? No. My, my, the new superhero should just be like Manny Pacquiao from the Philippines. Yeah.

You know, that's like, you're talking. Yeah. That's why I get, that's the new Marvel character. Yeah. Manny Pacquiao. Super Manny Pacquiao. Yeah. Probably exists. All right. Marvel character. Yeah. Manipackia. Super manipackia. Yeah. Probably exists.

All right, kept them up. There you go. Sorry. He just goes out and condemns homosexuality. Homosexuality. That's my favorite part of this platform. I didn't agree with it. And then like 50 million Filipinos trip over themselves to defend him.

Yeah. I love, I don't know why I just find it so charming when someone is very aggressively anti gay. In this, in the climate that we're in, you can, it's safe to let people be like out, right, homophobic. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, this guy, he's like, you're about it. Yeah, super, super religious.

So I, I sort of, yeah, I wasn't a big, I think, I think like, you're about it. Yeah, super, super religious. So I tell you about hell. I sort of, yeah, I wasn't a big, I think most Filipinos are Catholics. I believe so. I could be wrong, but definitely Christian, Christian denomination of some sort. Here's what makes me a rage. House, House of Mad at Kadek, Hey, Sean. What makes me a rage of late is the sect of loud political pundits on the pundits on the right who will blast the McCain's bushes and rommneys of the world from orbit 24 seven, but will often simp over the tolsy gabberds and

Christensen, you know what Trump's biggest sin was getting an entire generation interested in politics. That was the one thing that I think Trump should go to prison for, is for the last five years, getting anybody under AV interested in politics at all and learning about any of these fucking pedophiles and shifters that they prop up on TV every day, that they astroturf in every day.

Oh, now, well, what's Andrew Yang doing? Who fucking cares? Yeah. Who cares what any of them are doing? Yeah. They're not, Trump is funny. That's it. There's no new, funny guy.

Well, you know, we got to bring up. We've got, uh, this is a big crime. Janicide of the right white race, and we've got to have uniforms. None of them care about any of that stuff. Yeah. None of them care about any of it. They only care about getting, they only care about making it so confusing to see who's owning the houses,

that the average idiot can't tell what's going on. That's it. That's it. Christensen was the moment they get a sound bite that remotely talks about some mainline, right political position in a remotely positive light. While they vote on par with Bernie Sanders on record. Those particular dudes on the right

are so desperate for any validation on their points they will stand for female versions of the people they hate, like the dudes who will bend over completely to some random roasty that sucks his dick once after talking mad shit about how no woman was gonna boss him around. It's fucking maddening to see largely men

who make entire platforms of questioning establishment types fail to recognize these astroturfed brods from a mile away because they're so enamored by a slightly well-built dame with a solid face and tits solid face. That's what I want to solid face. What you look like, solid face and tits solid face. That's what I want to solid face. What you look like. It's solid. Face it solid.

Face is solid. Face is solid like like a like a prize fighter. Like what do you just got a it's got a good chin. This is. Did you watch that Logan Paul? I mean, I saw the highlights. You saw the highlights. Yeah, yeah, like what Logan Paul getting knocked out and made whether they're propping him up.

So he didn't. Yeah, I think I got paid. Well, I think, I think, Maywell is like, oh shit, I'm going to hurt this guy. You know, it doesn't have that way. Somebody like 50 pounds or whatever. And knock him out and then held him up for him to get, I mean, he was saying his face. So when, I mean, you know, I mean, it's a 45 year old guy who was a professional boxer at the

highest level for his entire life. You can fucking, doesn't matter who you fucking put in there. I would like it to, so we didn't have to have the pretend fight. And we just have pretend boxing experts giving pretend boxing takes on, yeah, online all day. But you know, that's like that But they even have to laugh at that. Laughing all the way to the bank. Okay, here we go.

A map of the average IQ in every state, Lordus sends, you could probably guess how this one's gonna end up. I actually lost five pounds for the weight loss contest this week. No shit, I think I put it all back on last night. Oh, really? It was a good, it was a good, it was a good, there we go.

Average IQ by states. California in 93, that seems about right. You think? Yeah, I mean, if 100 is the higher, the 50th percentile, right? That's how they make it. Yeah. It's all based off that. Yeah.

Oh, you can't really see on the picture when it's blowing up. Where we got, what is this state right here? What is this? That is Indiana, Indiana. Oh, yeah, make sure the gold brains on Indiana. We're not oh, wait a, oh yeah, yeah, right next to Vania. Ohio, big brains on these guys. 95 dumb, California, stupid, you pretty dumb over here. The South is pretty dumb. Yeah, Texas with 100. Wow. I don't know. 99 for Alaska. 95, 6 for Hawaii. Yeah, I mean, I guess they're all right. Yeah. Well, thanks for that. Interesting. Lord, gay straight alliance in the military. Hey,

Dickenshawna, my last 14 years in the Navy, I've seen the woke mob infiltrate the department of defense at all levels. I was listening to episode 257 about the Canadian kid who had a gay straight alliance in his high school. And it reminded me of this last ship I was on, a carrier with 5,000 people on board, is an ideal environment for woke leaders.

It's like a little push diversity. Well, it's like a little city. Aircraft fairies are like little cities. That's how, and the guy I know who's on the enterprise for a long time described, they're like, no, it's a city. And that's how every single documentary or anything about aircraft care just drives it. It's a little city.

Yeah, they all, that's what he told me. But I don't know where they all got it, but they all say it. Yeah, it's like a little city Push diversity onto the entire group. There's about 5,000 people the most popular group was get jeep was glass gay lesbian and supporting sailors. Wow Yeah, they people love that's a very what gay straight alliance. Yeah, well people love people love acronyms. So even if they're even if they're background, you know, they're asking it glass. The gay and supporting no two and supporting sailors. Oh shit glass who not only has been and silly sailors who not only brought awareness to being gay in the military, but hosted weekly morale events for the entire crew.

Wow, the president of glass was meritoriously promoted to E5 for his exceptional work in his department. What's E5? Military guys, they love throwing out cheese that don't really mean anything. E5. Yeah. And they don't really mean anything. He fun. Anybody. Yeah. And they don't explain it.

They always pepper them in. You ever had a conversation with a military guy? Sure. Like, yeah, you know what I mean, the buddies? You know, we were TOL. Like, man, I don't want to ask. Well, there are a lot of fucking TOLs. Yeah.

You know that you know that you know that you know that you know that on TV. So you know that I don't know what that means. Didn't snafu actually come from the military? I know there's like some like situation normal. I'll fucked up like a snafu. So you know that I don't know what that means. Didn't Snafu actually come from the military? I know there's like some situation, normal all fucked up, like a Snafu. I think that means. Yeah, I think that really did come from a military.

That's it came up with the acronym first. Yeah, that's what they started referring to. You know, it's like, you know, par for the course, everything's fucked. Yeah, situation, normal all fucked up. Exceptional work in his department. And the year he spent organizing meetings in events for the hundreds of sailors who attended shortly

after being promoted, he went to court martial on charges of international sex trafficking. Mm. Ah, ah, ah, damn it. Darn it. Yeah. The phone Lee. Man, we're going to get a guy in one day aren't aren't people like vetted

to death nowadays. I mean, obviously not by other sex traffickers. Yeah, yeah, sex traffickers all the way fucking up. Jeff Phillips all the way. Head of the set head of the commission to investigate pedophilia. Yeah, you really you have the lunatic running the asylum at every front. A watchdog group is complete partisan hacks. I mean, you think they're gonna fucking find or not find. Didn't you see that ox fam thing that, what is ox fam? It's some stupid charity in the UK where they found that they were telling women not to

report rapes because it was racist. If something hold on. Oh, really? Yeah, it just came out like, wow, you know, you've got insane rape report. Oxfam says reporting rape cases harms black and marginalized people. Whoa, I don't think you could say that. I certainly wouldn't say anything like that. Blames privileged white women for

root causes of sexual violence. They're saying because they're lying. The only place they're telling the truth and it hurts minorities. I'm sure I can't even conjecture Sean. The only place you can give your money and have it not be used for evil is this show. And vetoes, and vetoes, Patreon and Comp slash the veto show. Otherwise, you give it to Oxfam, who's using it to blame privileged white women for the root causes of sexual violence.

Yeah, I don't know if you wanna read anything about this. The slide shows a sobbing woman accompanied by a, accompanied by a message that says mainstream feminism Whoa centers on privileged white women is victims and demands that beating each other. Are you fucking kidding me? There's a man's that bad men be fired or imprisoned It says that fighting against sexual assault legitimizes criminal punishment. Well, yeah, which arms Yeah, I think David Duke got a hold of the Fox fan mail. Yeah, the Oxfam account.

Um, well, good luck, guys. I hope that works out for you. The gay straight alliance, uh, recruiting tool for both customers and employees. His remaining time on active duty was spent in the brig and he was dishonorably discharged upon return to home port. The irony of the group founded to show that being gay was more than just sex, but it's not. Oh, am I so far off on this being gay is about gay sex.

It's not any other, in fact, specifically, it's none of the other parts. You're totally normal or indistinguishable from a straight and every other way except for the one gay part, the sex part. You prefer, yeah, right? What's your dick? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean because trans people made it all about, they came in to the gay sex party and said, let's make this whole identity and the gay people said, well, no, it's just a mess like some butts.

They like sports. They like, yeah, I mean, they're, they're humans. They're people. It's like, you, they're regular fucking people. But the preference is different. I mean, that is like, then gay is more than, that is another fucking thing that drives, that is driving insane.

So, two straight guys talking about what it is to driving saying. Um, so two straight guys talking about what it is to be gay. Hey, where's Tanner when you need? I know I do want him to call. Uh, hey speech is radicalizing, right? Even though even the slightest whiff on the hey speech will make you. I mean, that's what it's fine. That's what's, yeah, a little perpetrator. I mean, I don't, I don't, you see a guy making a bunch of jokes or whatever. And if you're, if you'reitive brain, just pulls out of it the racism and not the jokes part. And then this is like, well, I'm, and that's, well, isn't, but this isn't me. Isn't this the rock music or lyrics or whatever, you know, make it, it's our, or violent, violent,

uh, you know, media, you know what? It's all true. I'm going to go, I know that, let's put it this way. It's a, it's probably, there's probably a non-zero number of people that each of those has influence to do something stupid, but it's like, are they fucked anyway? Are they, I want to get amped up. I'm putting on ACDC. That's what I'm doing.

Lifting ways, I'm driving too fast. I'm doing, the music is making me, is radicalizing me to do, to smoke and drink in a non smoking area. Right. And be cool to retain all my seamen really nilly. And other people seem to just recklessly. Yeah. I thought I wonder what all this jar. But this is collecting this from.

Uh, there's my little ponies and the jars. Um, this is, this is the, that's too far. This is the belief structure, right? Even a little tiny bit of hate speech will make you a hay monger. Okay. Yeah, sure. So then what does it mean? People want to stamp out any, not just an opinion that differs from like the gatekeepers

of speech. Yeah, you can't even say, COVID doesn't exist. You can't even say that. Yeah. Something that preposterous. Well, I mean, that, right. That doesn't exist. No, but if you see something in anti-science, hate speech, right there.

Well, they're, oh, they're an idiot. Like that's like, I think that. Yeah, I don't get right. That doesn't exist. No, if I see somebody in anti-science, hey speech right there. Well, they're in it again. Like that's like, I think that. Yeah, I don't get right. You know, so here's what I'm saying. How do you have, hey speech causes all of this, all this problem, whatever, exposure to a tiny bit, right? And then you say, well, let's cram all this gay shit on kids' shows and stuff like that.

And people say, well, you can't do that because it's like, yeah, you guys have been saying that exposure to a little tiny bit of anything changes people's minds almost instantaneously. So why doesn't it work the other way? Well, that's, I don't care. I mean, there's gonna be a shock of all the dicks that you want.

I don't care. But it's surely you cannot say that they're wrong. That's all what your hot button is. Yeah. Well, we crammed a bunch of gay stuff on. So maybe you're going to try to be gay. I'm like, wow, that makes sense to me. I don't know.

Just an idiot over here makes it makes sense to me. Don't care, but it makes sense. You can't tell them they're wrong for saying it. I think the most important thing to say like in that whole, what you just said was just like, I don't care. Because what do you, yeah, make sense. I can't say you can't do all that hate speech. You're gonna have radicalized people. That makes sense, actually.

I'm not gonna say that that's not true. I'm sure there's a bunch of studies that say it's not true, but I believe them. Some people are gonna be led or influenced by fucking anything. There's always gonna be, then you got, what do you, somebody Chris Pratt go on TV? He says, I love smoking, I love sucking a couple dicks, at least once a day. You tell me that's not gonna make people gay? Dicks, now in menthol. Thanks for five years of content

and making my last three deployments, barely tolerable. Go fuck yourself and Australian kisses for Sean. Wow, how about that? Kisses for you Sean. Excellent. how about that? Kisses for you, Sean. Excellent. I have advice. Mersh still in no show.

Mersh, there he is. I wanna hear about Mersh. Mersh, you must have got to tell me. I was around, but I kind of got distracted yelling at Sprint and some of the other time. No, you're fine. I should be here that one the other day. How you doing, man? Gavin, we know it on you pretty hard, huh? distracted yelling at sprint and some of the time. I should be here. I should be here that on the daily.

How you doing, man? Gavin, we know it on you pretty hard, huh? I wouldn't say went very hard. I would say he just watched a video, man, turned progressively redder. He's really how that went. No, why? Fires, but I saw a video that says Gavin fires back and I went, oh, this is going to be good stuff.

And it was him just turning progressively redder and stuttering and being like, that's not true. Yeah, he was real stuck on the, that's not true part, debunking what you were saying. And the way he goes, that's patently false. And then looks off to the side is exactly what I say when I get caught cheating on a girl. So that's patently false. Like that's patently. Oh, come on. Are you serious? Like when you lower your tone and you're like, Oh, come on, please, like try to look

real, but you're like entertaining purple. When did you even hear that? Right. That's what you say. But no, I just, I was laughing because I saw this clip and I honestly, when I first hit play on it, it almost, I was like, wait, it's Dick and Sean. Like, Reagan on it. it almost, I was like, wait, is Dickenshawn like ragging on it? What's happening? And it was so confused until I saw it was just a Gavin reaction video. And the highlight of that video is when he got so angry, he went, I said something you

laughed and he went, yeah, I'll, yeah, well, I mean, the only reason they're laughing is because they know that this guy's good radio. Literally is what he said at one point. He got flustered and complimented me. So I was like, thanks, Gavin. Uh, what did he say that did he say you were lying about stuff about money? No, he's real concerned about you going back up for me. Well, Gavin McGinnis is very, he really wants people to know that he raised an amount of money for people who he's partly responsible with being in federal prison for hundreds of years. And it's not a merchant, a comment on that or commented on that.

Yeah, but I just, just so I'm clear, if there was no proud boys and what like, this is, this is my problem with Gavin, the rudeness first of all, but also that he said, that would be the number one. Like, oh, we gotta go, you gotta go protest, we gotta stand up, we gotta stand up for our rights, you gotta go out there and act like a total asshole, where you can be photographed and doxed and fired for whatever reason. But then he moves into a new neighborhood and sends a letter to everyone saying, it's all an act.

You know, I, I, I don't stand for anything. You come over at any time, fuck my wife. I, it doesn't matter to me. I'm just a buddy. I'm just like you. Uh, right? Yeah. I do like, I like the dick just pulled in, Norm McDonald and dirty work. He's like, you know, the rudeness is, you

know, the worst part of this. I mean, yeah, all the other stuff too, the federal charges and, you know, separating fathers from their kids and prison and stuff, but it's the rudeness. It really bothers you. Yeah. It's a rudeness. They really bother. I believe you. But just the spectacle. Anyway, so what did he call you a liar on? Merch. He said that I was a liar about the fact that when he was holding a fundraiser for these proud boys kids that he was simultaneously running a defend Gavin website where he was raising money.

So he could sue the SPLC in a frivolous lawsuit. He's never going to win. Okay. So like he was kind of like splitting the money. Yeah. Like he was kind of like splitting the fan base and being like, oh yeah, I know we got to raise money for them, but also I'm suing the SPLC.

Then in the video, I swear on all that is holy, I lost my mind last night because at one point, he actually says, and I quote, he's like, he's talking about, he goes, yeah, look at this little girl. We raised $50,000 for his kids, you know, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then like in the same beat two minutes later, he's talking about defend Gavin. And he's like, and yeah, okay, we started a legal trust, so we fight the SPLC. And I raised like over $250,000. So I could see the SELC. And I'm like, this, this man of notes, there it is. Like, how do you brag about, you don't want to say that. Yeah.

And he's a very good lawyer. He's a very careful liar. He's one of those guys that lies by omission. So when I said, well, you started raising money for this other frivolous thing while these guys were fighting for their lives, he goes, well, that's patently false. I mean, I didn't even start filing against the SPLC until February after that. I'm like, yes, but you were raising money. So then I had my people look at the domain registrar and of course, defend Gavin was registered

less than 60 days right after the first arrest in New York. So he's full of shit. I hate it, I hate it. I hate it, I hate it. On a palpable level, dude. Well, he is responsible for hipsters, right? Did he not create the hipster movement? Sean, I think hipster movement.

Yeah, he stepped around forever. He's like popularized. Still for like hipsters? Yes. The beard, he quayback. He co-founded vice, which is the media organization that has headlines like, we gave Dolphins LSD and then fuck them to see what would happen. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, we spent two months trailing a lesbian ketamine dealer in Portland, and it's like, why though? It's not news.

Fun. I do. It is, it is weird to hear somebody bring up over and over how much money they raised for like someone who's deads and fucking prison. Yeah. The money doesn't really matter here, bud. I don't, I think you're kind of losing track of what's important. And you are splitting, you know, you're splitting the money, you're splitting, if you're splitting the fucking fan base, then you're splitting it. That's all there is.

Gavin is the kind of guy to pick up a bar tab and then never let you forget about it, which is probably why that Ryan Katz, who a very guy works for Firm for free. It's probably just a constant guilt trip. Like, hey, dude, you know, I know you only make like 20 bucks a show doing all my dirty work, but like I did buy you Burger King Thursday. He is the kind of guy. It seems like he's used to getting stuff for free. Well, I mean, that's what you, that was your take, you know, with the text messages and stuff. Where it's like all of a sudden you became an employee. Yeah.

Was how it was how it read to me. What are we doing here? What do you mean? Is it done yet? Let's just back this one of, hey, you were on Info Wars, right, Merch? Yes, man. Yeah, we did. Well, actually, it's been a, it's been a big week. I you were on Info Wars, right, Merch? Yes, sir. Yeah, we did. Well, actually, it's been a big week.

I did an Info Wars and we did, we did, were these podcasts, just came out with great coral. And now I'm here, so I'm really making the rounds. I'm on fire this week. How is Info Wars? It's a May, it's Alex, it's a May, he's amazing. Like, look, I even the people that suddenly decided to start hating them three years ago, let's be fair, we all love even liberals and shit loved him back and he was like, he was America's crazy uncle, that will never stop being the case. He's

a lovable guy, man, he's a lunatic, but he's great. He's the best. Nobody can do it like him. Now, can you imagine this? Which is why I'm a sod, which is why everybody knows it's me. I a shill and all that stuff, but he's the greatest. He's just the greatest of all time. He's the best. I tried to stay so far away from the, the actual right wing conspiracy, whack jobs, like everybody is a massage agent or it's always, it's always something about Israel.

Um, it drives you insane. Drive anybody. Yeah. And it's like, look, I get it. It drives you insane. Drive anybody insane. Yeah, and it's like, look, I get it. Israel's terrible. But I mean, you know, get out there. It's a whole world. Not everybody that's not everybody you don't like on Twitter is working for the Assad. Yeah. Well, it's easier to say that. Yeah. Although that's exactly what somebody works for the Assad would say. That's how I'm out. Yeah.

I forget what else I wanted to talk to you about. I wrote it down some fun covered by Let me see here. I'm checking my notes. Yeah, I didn't know. I did the video. Gavin really did make it sound like you guys were still cool though, man. He guys just still put everything dick help me, man. We're like, we're like, sabbatical, bro. I don't even know. He said, is how he said, I still I'm watched it. I mean, he just, look, definitely says anything. He just implies things. Yeah. That couldn't believe that there was a quiver is 50 grand for that little girl. And in the same breath, he's like,

yeah, and then we fought the SPLC. I raised like 250 grand. Oh, what a piece of shit. You fought them. Yeah. They're the billion dollar integrated comp that's like in every trust and safety, whatever for every big tech company. You really, you really took it to them. Yeah, the SPLC smeared me in Royce too

and I told my audience, do you know why we didn't do a go, fund me in the SPLC? Because we didn't want to waste your money. Which is what it is. on a lawsuit we weren't going to win. Yeah. No shit.

What do they say about you and Royce? Who's day? The SPLC. Oh, they called us and I quote, hard core white supremacist. I swear to God, was the quote. Hard core? Hard core white supremacist. Those three words will never, I will never forget those three words

Because Royce isn't even white. You're not some fucking tourist. Yeah, he's hard core white But I can't see you being hard core anything merge. No, I'm really not like I can't commit to anything It's probably bad too lazy for that. Yeah Hard core white core into white supremacy. Do you have to, like, how, what is hard core white supremacy? How am I uniform with certain patches on it that you get a hard to merit badges? I would have accepted, like, pedestrian racist. You know, he's a racist.

I would have settled for that. But, like, if I went, if I met with a bunch of guys and they're like, man, you know, cool, man, I, this black lives matter shit is bullshit. Am I right? Be like, yeah, let's meet every week. I'd be like, Jesus every week. That's I don't think I'm very hard core. No, guys, even Hitler painted.

I'm not paying. I'm sorry. I can be racist at home. I don't need a meeting every week to figure out what new ways to be white supremacist. I don't have to put pants on to be scared of black teenagers. Have you broken any bucks today on your white white supremacy? Oh, I haven't watched that yet, but I can't wait to watch the documentary where Tarek Nesheet gets to the bottom of why white people are beaming gay thoughts into his head.

Doesn't it seem a little, right? The whole crux of this whole documentary is, man, I'm gonna figure out why white people keep making me think gay thoughts. Yeah. What? It's just like his own fanfic that he made about a, like a,

interracial gay slave porn, that's a great idea. He created. Yeah. Yeah. It's like he's hanging out with other black guys and he's like, man, don't you hate it when white folks man, a beam shit into your head

and then you just want to start sucking your homies dick and they're all like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. And he's like, oh, come on, you lie and man, you know they do the same tricks to you. He's the guy who shares too much. Yeah, and he's

done it as a documentary jumps right over for everybody to see. I just want to sit in that like so he can't leave. He's like, okay, tell me what went into this. Tell me what was your white people to make? White people are making us all gay and other black guys are like, but I'm not gay though. Are you okay? gay. Are you okay, Dei? Okay, no, they are, trust me. Do you trust me? Do you remember those, I got all these pictures that I hired people to draw. Go ahead.

There were like a few shark attacks a few years ago in like, like, Muslim populated waters. Like, camera, what country was off of it? It was like, and there's actually, I mean, it was, I don't know if it was like a high ranking person, but it was somebody who was like, well, yeah, like Israel has installed, you know, things on the charts to control them.

Like, what are you fucking retarded? Yeah, how far do you have to, how crazy do you have to be to think that? Like, I hope that Israel says they've talked, I hope I pray to God every night. When I go to sleep that Israel, the next day, tells everybody that they've been in contact with aliens and this is what the aliens want.

And no, because who's going to, what are you going to say? No, that didn't happen. I just want, I just want Israel to be the first country that makes first contact and for them to run with it because it could, I don't want America to do it. I don't want our guys thinking of what the aliens could want. I don't want China to do it. I don't want our guys thinking of what the aliens could want. I don't want China to do it. I want Israel to have it. And I think they've got the, I think they have the right people to make that happen.

I think China has earned it more though, frankly. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like I, my theory now is that we, we are in no position to like try to call out the Chinese for trying to rule the world because we've blown it frankly the last 10 years. We've just been throwing the fight and it's like to act like the Chinese don't deserve it at this point. It's like they're the only ones really just keep just plugging along, dumping poison into

the ocean, not paying any little attack. They don't give a fuck. They don't care. They're like, no, I'm not paying that. They just literally are walking out of the restaurant going, I'm not paying that. They just literally are walking out of the restaurant, going, I'm not paying this. I'm not paying it. What are you gonna do about it?

It's like a dude who's six five going, what are you gonna do? Stop me or 16 year old hostess. And you're like, I guess he's not paying for the meal. Did you see one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life is when the Chinese delegates, somebody from the US was asking about the Wigard concentration camps and he goes, look, I'm not going to sit here and be lectured by an American when

you have cops shooting black men on your streets every day. Thanks, but no thanks. It's like, oh, that's awesome. They're now there using it. Now they're using it. I love it. I love it. But meanwhile, they hate blacks. At least we

leave the blacks on our Star Wars posters. At least we don't, we don't hate black people so much. We photoshop them out of movie posters. Did they do that? Yeah. Wow. I did not know that. The last Star Wars movie, Photoshopped the black guy out. Yeah. Wow. Shocking that that didn't make the news. A bunch of people run and ask for their money back when they realized there was a black guy on the movie. Yeah. Dude, and that guy was still like, I have nothing but respect for the Chinese people. Like these people are.

They're shocked. Yeah. To the line. They're such cocks. Yeah. Do not, do not badmouth that market. Yeah. When they're in the NBA or whether you're an entertainment or whatever, because they consume a bunch of this shit we fucking put out,

and you better, no matter how fucking appalling their stances are on things, everybody's like, you know, Disney's like, don't you fucking say shit about China? None of you. Merch, I think you're more like me, we're an amount, I mean, I can imagine a lot of money, but I don't think, man, it would take a lot

to do something, to say something like that about China, something positive. Yeah, I do it for like 500 bucks. 500 bucks, really? No. I grew up poor, so I'm one of those, like if I've got my bills paid, I've got money in the bank, I've got all my shit in together,

like I don't need a lot for me. Like I won't. That's how I see car for you. I'll fight over moving my car into a different spot. Because I'm like, no, I don't need a lot for me. I won't need my car for you. I'll fight over moving my car into a different spot. Because I'm like, no, I don't have to. I don't have to. Leave me alone. Take this part, apologize to Cheyenne and we'll get rid of this part.

You can take it like, no. I don't think so. No, it's fine. I'll just pay it. It's $200 who cares. It's because I don't, these people are a specific breed of people politicians. They long ago decided I'm gonna sell out every bit of my being just to be able to be a little congressman.

Like that's all that matters to them. And I'm just really in the more of the category of like, I just wanna have food in my fridge and I want you to leave me a fuck alone. And I just, I wanna do what I wanna do. Yeah. Do you see that El Salvador does Bitcoin now? Legal tender.

Was it El Salvador? Isn't it? Am I saying it wrong? No, you might be right. El Salvador is a country. Yeah. Well, I mean, all those central American countries got a blur together, I mean, I don't know if it was like Honduras, to Guatemala, El Salvador.

I definitely say my world geography is weakest in South America. It's the, uh, because of this move that we're now referring to, um, El Salvadorians as El Salvadorians instead of just Mexicans anymore. Oh, yeah. So to honor this, to what they've done because they've differentiated. Yes. So what you're saying? Yeah.

Now it's different. Um, we're going to move there. We're moving the show there. Okay. To Al Salvatore. I gotta say that it is very silly to me to see like, this is why I love and hate crypto. Like I've made good money in crypto, but crypto people are cringe sometimes. But when this happened, all of Twitter was like, this is going to turn it around. We've got Al Sal El Salvador on board.

Everybody was acting like that's it. Bitcoin, 200,000 now. You know, like, can you even point to it on a map? Did you see that? You guys see the Hobbit? I've seen of it. You've seen the Hobbit movies. Like there's one where there's like, you know, there's a huge battle like at the Stydon, if it was a second part of the, I don't even know how many fucking hobbit movies there were. Maybe two or three. Three.

Yeah, let me talk about, you know, Bill can the fans out of, you know, could have should have been of one like our movie. I saw a cut with all of them pushed into one movie and it was good. And that's the only thing I saw, I thought existed. What? I didn't know it was three.

What happens is, this is like El Salvador, there's this huge war going on outside and the good guys are getting their asses kicked. And then all of a sudden, like, five dwarves run out and totally changed the tide of the battle. It's like, okay, El Salvador, really? Okay, now we're good. Well, then El Salvador came out and then it was like,

oh, what other Latin American countries? Next day, Iran announces that they're gonna do, like, well, can you just, can you guys just wait a little bit? Like, did you have to do this? Could you wait a couple months? So no one's looking. Yeah, we got it.

Okay. Like, you guys are the worst ones. Yeah. You know that, right? You know that, right? Um, probably just fake news. Anyway, what else is going on, Merch? Oh, no, that was, I just, I just wanted to call in and laugh at Gavin. I just thought it was funny. I didn't know if you'd seen the clip yet, but I would highly recommend if you get a few minutes

to just watch it for a good laugh. Watch term purple. It's, it is, it's very funny to see a lot of these guys. Oh, what about Milo speaking of Gavin? Have you guys been following Milo's transformation from a catapilitor, a butterfly? What's going on? What's going on? He's a guest from a butterfly back to a catapilitor. Yeah, he's straight now. He's straight now?

Yeah, he's straight. He's straight. He's wearing a big glass of sunglasses. He has fucking a mullet now. When Chez Bono came out, there's like a man. He's like walking around like the bushwackers and like smashing beer cans on his head. Like, this is what a man is. I see. My love is doing that, but for straight men. So he's wearing like a trucker hat. He's got the big Alaska sunglasses on.

Let me see if I can find a picture. Yeah, the Pid Vipers. He's got some dodgy pastor and bureau beach Florida. That's like co-hosting him. Fucking podcast with him. And I swear to God, dude, you got to watch this latest video because he does like 10 minutes of virtue signaling about how and he's a guitarist. He says dogs no longer bark at him because he's straight now. And it's amazing. It's just amazing.

I love it. I love it. Oh, so beautiful. Look at all of his, He's got a gruff now. Next he's going to, he's going to, he's going to become black and dogs will bark at him again. Um, dude, he literally did a bit. It's most recent video about how the, you know, the proud boys guy, the FBI guy that in Recahtario guy, how he tried to have an abortion a few months ago and

he's like just pulling in these salacious fucking details, getting in touch with this guy's baby's mom. And then my favorite part of the video is dead pan serious, Milo looking at the camera and going, and this is a sort of thing. I mean, you know, it's like so many people in the right wing, they criticize the black community, but there's no strong father's and not being a father and not carrying on your legacy as the worst thing somebody could do

is to not be a good father. And I'm sitting there going, are you, did you, do you even know who you are anymore? Yeah. Last time I called into his show, I made some joke about God. And he went, he went on like a five minute lecture on why God was so great.

Like he was my like, I mean, I don't take you Siri. What are you talking about? Do you suppose the sickest thing go into his comments, dude? How many people are buying it as the money is for? I know. I mean, it's a huge amount of people that are like, it's so amazing to see this transformation. And like God bless you, my God. I are like, it's so amazing to see this transformation. And like, God bless you, my God. I'm like, wow.

I can only see why the globalists want to block out the sun and like force vaccinate people and give them belt balls. Yeah. But like, I'm starting to learn that there is a large portion of the population. It just needs to be heard into districts. Yeah, it's because they are immortal. They have become immortal, the globalists have become immortal for meeting children and whatever they do.

And they've just learned to hate us so much that they have to take advantage. I would. You know, you got nothing else to do. You're like, man, I really want to, let's just take their houses, fuck these idiots. Or all day. Yeah, we have people posting like, Q is going to come out soon, and it's John F. Kennedy's long lost, presumed dead son from a bunker underneath, you know, Martha's Vineyard. And then when you see that, you go, yeah, you kind of deserve to just be harvested for your organs. Like, I kind of get the Chinese to deserve a house. That's

what the, that's what the lesson is. Yeah, your brains know good, but those kidneys might still be good. So let's just, let's go full Chinese. All right, Marish, get out of here. Thank you for calling in. It's good. Thank you for having me. Congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. Yes. Uh, yeah. Uh, revenge of the sister calm. Thanks, buddy. Uh, there you go. There's the Gavin update. Okay. I've got some advice. You don't want, are you gonna watch it? No, probably not. I don't care.

Like, what do I need? What do I need to watch this for? Merge is like. We're gonna get content out of it. Yeah. I mean, it's always, the argument is always the, the literal fact, like it's always the position of somebody's arguing literal facts to weasel their way out of what is the

big picture. And the big picture is what exactly what Merch points out. You're bragging about generating money for somebody else. And then you also at the same time generating a shitload of money for yourself. That's it. Like you can see anybody in the outside when you see that it's just a fuck move. Yeah. I mean, can't you because you could give all the money to yeah, or just like, you know,

or at least not be so proud of it. But and what'd it be different if he was defending himself from a lawsuit? I mean, I mean, versus like, I want this money so I can file a retarded lawsuit. None of it's good. No, that's what I know. But there's degrees, right? I mean, would you, I think more, so some people, I think more people would maybe understand. It's like, oh, that's kind of crass. Yeah. It's like, you're being sued. You got to raise, you know, you're not a writ. You're not, you're never going to have the money that they, they will. But it's like to see.

I'm going to see. Okay. We're going to show them have fun. We're going to show them. Give me money so we can show them. Show them. What do you come on? Come on. Come on. Oh, God, patty see cups did a whole episode about me and Carl. You know, Patty C Cups. No, I know you say you weren't going to talk about it until I was back. Oh, I forgot to talk about it at the beginning of the show.

My head's still in another universe. I got to go ahead. I got to go ahead. I got to go ahead. I got to go ahead. I got to go ahead. It's been a while. You forgot how to hold your piss.

Yeah, I did. Go ahead. Well, I've already gone twice this show. I walked by your guest room and I keep thinking there's somebody laying on the bed in there. Sex tall. Yeah. Kevin confessed on Twitter that he was the one that he was one of the people bending her fingers weird.

Oh, where did that come from? Friend of ours had it on a production set. Ah, we brought it up. That was my first experience with the real one. A production set. Yeah, that we would wanna, we'd be interested in having a sex doll in the house. I haven't used it yet.

No. Are you gonna? Yeah, with the fingers. Kinda put oven mitts on them. Yeah, turns it, that's the turn off. That's what we keep you from using the sex doll, right? The fucked up fingers. Well, kind of.

Yeah. I mean, the fingers and the metal sticking out of the heels. That's weird. All right, I got to see some. George Lopez meat in your fridge? Yeah, man. George Lopez meat. What is it infused with bad jokes?

What is it? He markets meat? Yeah, he's a meat man. He's a meat man. George Lopez. No, it's a proprietary blend of. It's like down. It's like actual authentic Mexican barrio. Carnia. Yes. Yeah. Spices. You can expect from George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez.

George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez.

George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez.

George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. George Lopez. authentic true authentic Mexican carne asada, right? That you can only expect them to do it. Okay.

Hey, dick. I have two, I have two girls from work. This is from Aaron. I've been fucking two girls from work for the past month. That's what they say. Shit, where you eat. Twice. I used to call this one weird virgin co-worker and talk to him with whichever girl I was with

that night. Well, that's what you get for bragging. Wait, wait, wait. I used to call this one weird virgin co-worker and talk to him with whichever girl I was with that night. So bragging, calling his buddy from work and bragging about banging the girl. So he's gay. What's he calling the dude for?

So, Sean, I mean, I honestly, some of these decisions these guys are making with other, like needing to relate everything that happens to them to another man. What's the guy like, hey, tell me everything you're doing. And then like, tell me about your business. Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business.

Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business. Tell me about your business feeling like the Virgin's jacking off on the other end. I don't know. I don't know. That's what I think is going on here. Tell me about how was it? How are you feeling emotionally about it?

Tell me about it. Tell me more about that. What the fuck are you guys doing? Are you in the bath? Virgin Rage got over him because he wanted to bang both of the girls. No, he wanted to bang you. She's calling him talking about banging girl. For the past week, he's been snitching on me to both of them

and has been trying to get them to hate each other. They both hate the guy now and somehow I've convinced them that they should do lesbian shit with me in the middle in front of the Virgin. This is like a super villain backstory. This guy is me. I know, I know a three ways coming. I don't know why I have a bad feeling about this.

Torture the Virgin. Yeah, this is buck breaking. This is what, that's what's happening here. I have a bad feeling about this. This is whole thing is weird. There's more to this. Can you tell me what's going to happen? You're going to get Jenny Jonesed. That's what happened. That's what's going to happen. Can you tell me what's gonna happen? You're gonna get Jenny Jonesed.

That's what happened. That's what's gonna happen. You're gonna get killed by this guy that your reference had nobody in the audience is gonna know. Yeah, sorry. Hi, barely remember. Yeah, you're doing gay stuff. If you're taking that out like sexual whatever

in front of a guy for purposes of dominating him. That's gay. You doing gay stuff? And you're a slave owner. And you're a slave owner. Yeah, I don't know. Do you have any advice? No, this guy.

I mean, don't drink my tea. Make a mess. Make a mess. I invite him over. Invite him over to look. Time up. Get into it. Lay into it all the way.

Picking up girls at the gym. Hey, Sean, hey, Dick and Sean. What's the best way to chat up girls at the gym? Did I finish talking about Patty Seacups? No. He did a whole episode on us on me and Carl. I selfishly took a piss and derailed your train of art. I just want to listen to it. I have to listen to the whole thing.

It's so funny. I mean, you know Patty Seacups. No, I know and I want to, real bad. And then Carl said that he spent another episode talking about me. What's special one for you? Yeah. Maybe we should do it on the next bonus episode.

Oh God, you're gonna make me wait. Okay, it's so funny. All right, hey, take a turn. What's the best way to chat up girls at the gym? It feels weirder than most other places since everyone always has headphones on. Yeah, because they don't want to be tongue to have you. I think girls at the gym, they almost, at least where I go, they almost go out of their

way to make sure that they don't even look at anybody. I mean, imagine how, because they know they're getting looked at all the time, because they're wearing workout clothes. Imagine how, like, how much motivation does it take to get up, get out of your house and go to the gym. You'd almost rather kill yourself, then work out regularly, three times a week, four times a week, whatever.

You have to get up and it gets harder. Manifest going to the gym, you imagine it in your head, you put it off, you get everything gone. Imagine, imagine, just you as a man. Imagine that part of going to the gym included talking to a guy you don't know. Never would go. No, you have to do all that stuff

and you're gonna have to talk to a guy. That's true. No, I don't think so. Have you ever had any success? And if so, how did you approach the situation? Should I talk to her a little every time and then ask her out eventually? Like boiling the frog slowly?

So he's just, I mean, he's fixated on one. I thought it was more of a general question. Like how do you pick up women at the gym? Or just go full bore spelled B-O-A-R. Really? That might have been on purpose. Might have been on purpose. She thinks she's a big girl at the gym.

Or just, you know, like a bore is like, you know, like a viral animal, right? Oh, okay. I don't know. And ask her out next time I see her. Or go full bore and ask her out next time I see her, or go full bore and ask her out next time I see her. Or is this something you guys have just avoided entirely? Thanks, guys. You gotta go, avoid it entirely.

Like it's like I have to make a conscious choice, not to try. It's like, my compulsion is to just talk to every woman at the gym. You gotta, here's what you gotta do. You gotta make a, first of all, track her workout routine. Like, you know, the stations that she's at. Get it down.

Creep immediately. Like, you've got, this is classic Groundhogs Day. You've gotta track every one of her movements and you have to set up a routine that is, that has a lot of intersection points with hers. Get there early and stay late so you know what kind of car she drives. Exactly. Right. Maybe Taylor home. Taylor home. A little bit park like a, you know, like just know what housing track she turns in. Exactly. You don't have to follow her to a street. Not yet.

Just learn like what she might live around. This is terrible. Oh, I mean, you have a gift. You have a gift. You know where she's gonna be at some point during the day. Yeah. So you get there early if she wasn't so vain, finish your workout, sit in the parking lot, follow her, just you drive, maybe you're, maybe you like taking a scenic route,

figure out like what is around her area. Maybe you flatten her tire. Maybe flatten her tire. Just a little bit, a little bit, not dangerously. And then, you know, I mean, I'm trying to try this on. I'm trying to try this on. I'm trying to try this on.

Yeah, I got an American presser. I got an American presser in my van. I just, and some lotion, put it on your skin. Right, for else it gets the whole of your skin. And then go in and say, hey, I couldn't help but notice that someone let the air out of your tire. Now I remember this show.

That's how you do it. Simple. Don't talk, what is this? I talk to her a little bit every time and then ask her out eventually, ooh, ooh, ooh, just, she has something with her. I can Andy Dufrein getting out a Shawshank.

Yeah. She has a little bit. Yeah. Now, just let the air out every time. Be a man. Erotic advice, do not read my screen name. Hey, Dick, two months ago, I made the voyage to Mexico to visit the

popular... Well, you got there wrong. You're taking a voyage to Mexico. You know you can drive. All right. I already know this one's going to be great. To visit the popular strip club, Hong Kong. Hong Kong, Mexico. Hong Kong, Mexico. You're in there? No. Oh, it's great. Wow. What a mix of cultures. Yeah. While I was there, I watched the dancers had a few drinks and fucked two prostitutes. No Oxford comma.

Absolutely, outrageous. And fucked, had a few drinks and fucked two prostitutes. One with huge tits and one, that was tiny. That means the huge tits girl was not tiny. This was the second time I had been to this club and it went off without a hitch last time so I figured it would go the same. A couple days after returning to the United States,

the STD paranoia began. I used a condom and I did not kiss either of them. Normally, I would not be that afraid of such a thing. I used to feel almost no guilt like I had ice in my veins. Now I have a girlfriend, small tits, I have a couple of years, and every waking moment is consumed by the idea

that I might have given her an STD. Right. Mm. Mm. Mm. That's a tough place to come. Yeah, your mind would be running wild. That's rough for you. Yeah.

Man, I really feel for you. I don't know why I fucked the prostitutes. Who has ever, who has ever honestly asked that? Mm. Oh gosh, I really don't know why I fucked those prostitutes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What a, what a, maybe one day science will figure out Oh gosh, I really don't know why I fucked those prostitutes.

What a maybe one day science will figure out why I fucked those prostitutes in Mexico. But today, I don't, I mean, I thought about it all day. I just couldn't figure out what I fucked up. No good reason. My girlfriend gives me as much sex as I want. I have a stable, well-paying job, and I don't lack anything in life.

I just did it on a whim. Nice rationalizing. I have tested negative for a variety of STDs, both one week and one month after possible exposure. I abstained from having sex with my girlfriend for three weeks to become... Gosh. He's like, he's coming up with excuses at home.

Oh, I'm just real tired. I think I, and he's probably fine. I, STDs are a myth. Totally made up, mostly made up like COVID. Have you ever had an STD? Uh, no, I don't think so. See? No. If they were so bad, we would have stopped them.

Like we stopped the pandemic with, like if it was real, if all this STD stuff was real, we would have put a stop to it and had 15 days and just stopped the curve. And that would have been that. No sex for 15 days. Yeah, no sex stops it. 15 days. How hard is that? No STD lives longer than 15 days. Yeah, no sex stops it. How hard is that? No, no, no. No STD lives longer than 15 days.

Yeah, just abstain. My girlfriend and I were planning on moving in together in the coming month. I had resolved that I would tell her what I had done. Oh, if I had any definite symptoms, or if I tested positive for anything. Well, no, you don't have to do that. Why would you do that?

Why? Just break up with her. Why would you tell, why would you tell anyone, if you're gonna tell her, why? Just break up with her. I'm gay. Goodbye. I want to work on my career.

But why would you tell her, I fucked two prostitutes and got an SDD. Yeah. So selfish to do that. So selfish to tell the truth. Is there any advice you can offer? I know I'm a bad person, but is that a bad thing? Regardless, don't read his name.

I don't do your advice. Telling her, is he asking if, Teller, what he did a bad thing or is he telling her a bad thing? Well, which one do you want to answer? I don't care. That's bad. Now, you're complicit in his behavior.

Yeah, don't tell the, whatever you do, don't tell the truth. Jesus Christ, you can't take the truth back. Yeah, don't tell the truth. Whatever you do, don't tell the truth. Jesus Christ, you can't take the truth back. You can always take lies back, stack them on top of each other. Truth, once it's out there, oh fuck.

Can't take that shit back. It's like the lie repellent. Yeah, I don't know, what do you think? This is up your alley. You've been, well, you know, you've had a ton of STDs, fuck many prostitutes. I know this all matter, a public record, isn't it? Yeah, I guess you got off lucky here, bud. I don't think you're gonna get anything.

No, I don't think so either. Pray, so just, yeah. Pray to God, that seems to make everybody feel better about what they did. So maybe it will work for you. Yeah, maybe, if it works for you, do it. Ask your doctor if God can work for you. Afraid to meet women because of side effects, right?

Pinging, doing it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might really love it. Afraid to meet women because of SJWs. Hey, Dick. I decided that I want to go into the dating scene. Ooh, now's a good time. What's a big decision for everyone?

For every man. Yeah. Comes to a point in his life when he decides to wanna get into the dating scene. My problem is I haven't had a real date and at least seven years. And my fear of getting with a woman that is too crazy or saying and doing something that could affect my livelihood.

I'm sure my fears are unrealistic, and I want to get over them. Follow-up question, is it worth talking to women when you are in your mid-twenties and you are unemployed and live at home. No, don't, you are just drink. If you're not going to work or get out of your home, there are many addictions that are easier to take on than women that will distract you from your laziness, right? You don't need to go. Dating is not going to fix. Getting into the dating world as living at home and being unemployed is not a, it's not a seller's market. Yeah, let's get some priorities.

Get a fucking job first. Just get a job. I don't know what his circumstances are, but well, he doesn't have a job. Well, I know. I know. Well, I know. I said, you know, I mean, I don't know for how long if he's, if he's been one of those people who just never, never got a job, never, parents never really said, get a job.

You kind of need to do some shit or, you know, don't make dating your job. Go get a real job. Go get a real job. And once you get one, work harder at that job and learn more skills for other jobs until the amount of time you have to spend, you have to spend thinking about women is so small,

it's, you can't even see it, like a, like a libress, like an HOA, right? And that, and then magically, and then magically, women will come. Right at that moment, when your life becomes so packed with work, and not hobbies, and pretending to learn how to play the guitar, with skills that people will pay you to use in their service. Right at the moment, when you you squeezed that as your entire day that's the time you used this amount of time to spend thinking about entering the dating world. There you go that's my advice. Okay, I think we're done.

Cantilians, did you want to call in? No, I think we're late anyway. All right, everybody, there's a middic show, Patreon.com slash the Dicks Show, Seen Excuse Day, biggestproblem.show for the reboot of the century. It's coming back. This is... This is get on the bus. Paradee seat cups. Paradee seat cups, paradee seat cups.

Dude, it's so funny. His episode. We're on this podcast clicking is, get on the bus. Cutting box, I said, what in all, we're on this podcast clicking is, get on the bus. Very sock. If you want a guy who's riding so low and doing the shit his own way, it happens it's the first day. Get on the fucking bus, get on the bus.

So patty Seacups is always the saying to get on the bus. For his, yeah, to get on the train. He says bus, yeah. Yeah, because that's the right expression. Okay, get on the bus. Perfect for him. These guys got a cool blank just to make friends. Laying your, fuck boys.

I hope the best for all of you outside of that. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck each other actually. Yeah. Yeah. You got to listen to that. Yeah. We'll do it on the bonus episode.

I saw somebody sent like his best karaoke hits this morning. Oh, yeah. The email to out of his thousands of karaoke songs. You had a bunch, but I can that's fucking wild, man. Yeah, that's like red flag law. There's a great song in there that you know are going to be complete disasters. I have I'm going to go through those. Um, they're all they're all disasters.

Oh, let me pull it up. What are you pulling up? His karaoke songs. Oh, I believe I can fly. That would be, there's headphones over there. Amazing. Yeah, you should put those on. Okay, this is Patty Seacops is.

Well, I am too. What is this? Our cat, our Kelly's talking on his fly on his pants. When he's talking with those, I didn't know that. It Disney fucking's long. I'm in Thousands of these he's recorded Thousands How do we, is that good? Do you think he's captured the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song.

I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song.

I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song.

I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm sure the spirit of the original song. I'm tell, now forget about the pitch. You're like, are you done getting on the monster? Right now, how inspiring is that? Forget about the pitch. You can tell this might be the widest man in the world, yeah. I see me running through that open door. Ah! I believe I can't believe I can't tell you.

What are you selling it? I believe I can fly. Why would you record this and put it just no self-awareness underneath it? Like taking an unflattering picture of your dick and put it on my right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right It's a miracle in life, I must achieve A FU-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H- hard to sing bad. Like I'm not saying bad. Yeah, this is like shreds. No, no, no, no. Professional singer, but it is it's I've done you know sessions and stuff where professional singers were supposed to sing bad.

And for the part over them, it's very difficult, very difficult for them. Because he's so ahead of the song. Number one, it's hard to have rather than timing back, bad. What feel is, feel is non-existent, non-existent. So ahead of me, forget about the pitch. Falling out of the door. Yeah. Yeah, this whole thing sounds like he's like furiously jacking off. He's always doing it. Wow, who sent the same herb made a patch?

Probably not even a doctor or a baby patch. Amazing. Can listen to these all day. Versus are in this fucking soul. Add his own verses. What if he was world famous? And this is like, this was the standard. This was in the movie.

This is what he performed. It's sold out audiences. I think we're getting there. Not necessarily in music, but in entertainment in general. Well, look at the proof is proof is an listening to it. It's gonna be more people. It's so great. William Logger, whatever.

Yeah, who is it? Yeah. Hi, we gotta listen to it. Fuck yeah, you know. I gotta listen to this episode. How long is it? 17 minutes. Oh, yeah, we need to.

Yeah, it's gonna be a little long, I'm sorry. I know I've already made three hour shows, but you're indulging me. You gotta hear it. It's so fucking funny. So for anybody, for anybody who does not know, we do a crossover episode with Carl from Who Are These Podcasts every month where we listen to, we listen to one fucked up show like a monster waifu podcast where guys are talking about what monster waifu they want

to have, like monster girl, they want to have like monster girl They want to have as a wife or whatever. No that shit comes up in my YouTube suggestions Wife who's yeah, that show Monster mates that fucking show Sounds like my dog you know I can't play the piano without the dog joining in oh the dog house. Yeah, barks or howls Howls yeah, it's like common being yeah, Yeah. And we read that it's because she likes singing and she thinks that she's participating. Well, all right, but that's near no patty seecups, but never heard her made the mic make that sound before the howl, but then it's every as the second I sit down and start to plan, you're like, oh, all right. So we do that crossover episode with Carl and we frequently talk, play Patty C Cups is podcast because he has just so goddamn, any of them.

And he's so bad. The most prolific podcaster on the planet and the worst, the most prolific podcaster on earth and also the worst podcaster. That's very rare to be both. To be both like it's like, he's the Edward of podcasting. He is the Edward of podcasting. Yeah. You can, you know, it's rare to be like the first of something and also the best.

Yeah. You know, like that almost never happens. Yeah. Um, so he did a whole episode of his show, The Brief Case, where he rants about, I guess it's a more intimate show, but he did a whole show just on me and audience of one and so the three. Is that the audience of one? Okay, here we go.

Here we go, Sean. Let's do it. Now you've heard this. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, you got permission to play this

Well good. Right. I should tell Carl we're listening to it right now. If he wants to hop on. This is the briefcase or cast. Cut into it. 17 minutes. Episode this episode we're opening up the case on original content. You know, this is a this is a podcast that prides itself on original thoughts and jokes and fun stuff. I don't have to sit here and try to make fun of podcasts. Okay. Especially podcasts that aren't relevant.

Uh, you know, I'll make some of your own. that aren't relevant. You know, I'll make some of your own. His podcast is not relevant. I guess what he's saying is funny. That's what he's saying. I'm not gonna- Make fun of podcasts that are not relevant. Sit here and waste my time making fun of this.

Who are these pussy's podcast? Oh, damn it. Oh, who are these pussy's podcast? He got us. It's really not. The guy, he's no one. He's no one. All right, so when he plays this in a show. Okay, Carl's

gone. There is more to the episode than that one clip that he thought would work on his podcast. This is the karaoke guy, by the way, the home of original ideas and thoughts and just all around awesome shit. The home. Original. It's found your way here. Where America goes. No, I don't hope you stay. I don't care. Actually, in fact, everybody that's been listening to the episode, a flip flopping on patty C cups. I love.

Yeah. If you're in what you think, I hope you're, I hope you stay. Actually, I hate you. Right in. Let me know. I don't even want your, uh, don't listen. Yeah. Right. You can't listen. You can't listen. And I don't email me either. don't listen. Yeah, right. You can't listen.

You can't listen. And I don't email me either. Right. You liked what you heard. He said that. I don't care. I don't do it for you. The original bad boy of podcast thing.

Yeah. So recently, please go away. Just leave. Find a new show, man. Because this one's dead. A briefcase is dead. Oh, all right, you hear that mom The guy who is who has been doing the same shit Carl I think he's 17 years he beat me. He won. He got me So now I'm gonna quit

Oh, wait a minute if I, what does he have to talk about? Who's gonna make his show worth listening to? Him? And get the fuck out of here. But guys, this is the briefcase. And I'm always doing the multi. That's seriously, seriously. He's got like 20 people.

He's only has fans of Carl in this show listening to his fucking show. All right, episodes this weekend for the simple fact of, uh, there's not any fights. Here he is. So there's no entertainment. Hey, Carl, we're listening to, uh, the briefcase. What's happening? Can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you.

Can you hear the briefcase? Uh, I don't know. Let's see. I'm in a tool party right now. So, uh, we'll see what part of it. Oh god, I don't want to Let's see. I'm in a tool party right now. So, I'm going to take up all of you. What's the, what's the milk situation there? There's actually some non-milk and some milks. There's a little bit of both. I want to hear about the non-milk. I just want

to hear about, do you mean, which part of the milk is the non? The non-milk is women who never had children. Oh, but the ill by preference. Oh, okay.k is women who never had children. Oh, but they're my preference. Oh, okay. So women who've never had children, I'd like to fuck. That doesn't really roll off the tongue. No, it's not a good acronym who never had children. It's a try. It didn't catch out. It's not a good acronym. Yeah, that's just women. It's just wills. Yeah, right. Women I'd like to fuck. Oh, wow. Or gilves. They're younger. How disavow. Yeah, Carl. This is live. What are you talking about, little girls that I want to fuck? What are you? I didn't say little women. Okay, we're listening to the briefcase. I don't want to pull you away from your part.

What? Well, hang on. Carl is going to be fucking crazy loud compared to this. Okay. So if you can Carl down here. Yeah, because it's if he turns, if I turn this up and he turns it, it's going to, it'll kill us all there. I turned him way down.

Okay. Thank you. Carl, talk for me for one second. Yeah. Please. All right, man. Hey, trust me. I'll be very quiet. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're fixed it. I fixed it with techno. Thank you.

Okay. Thank you. Don't listen to our party. Don't enjoy your party. Talk to us. Again, there is none of that either. Nobody's dropping episodes on Saturday or Sunday. And even if they do, they're not great. Mm, but I was also gonna add this to that,

whatever he is. And even if they do, they're not great. Mm. But I was also gonna add this to that. Whatever he is. It's weird that they think that they're doing so well and yet they're still asking me to come on their shows. Oh, which we are. He's right. Where's the host guy? I'm not gonna- He's not a collie.

He's not a collie. I'm gonna love Laura. I'm gonna love Laura himself to call again to this guy. Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna not a calling. I can't play your game. I got a low. I got to love to call again to this guy. I got standards. It's week number one. And it's not up to my standards number two. So if you're thinking you're doing a better show than me, congratulations. High five yourself, but you're the only one that thinks so. Park, can you stop it right there?

Classic. He says that we make more money than him, we have more listeners than him. And he goes, you're the only one who thinks we're doing a better job than he is a podcasting. How is that possible? How? That's why he's the greatest podcaster. Whoever I'm in. Maybe we're the hate listeners.

Maybe people are listening to the show because they hate us and they love Patty Seacops and they just get on with their day. What are we up to for his, is the offer $4,000 outstanding for Patty Seacops and Maddox to do a show together? So we should talk about this because let's take Maddox out of the equation. Woo! Okay, let's put this down. What do we want to offer? Yeah, what do we want to

offer? Just petty sea cops. What do we want them to do? Um, I'm down for that. Is there, we'd have, well, he could, he'd have to do a podcast. He'd have to do one of our show. He'd have to do one of our show. I just don't think he's going to do it. Why do I want your show? I don't, I don't do a guest type of show. I don't have people on just to shoot the shit. Oh it. Why do I want your show? I don't do a guest type of show. I don't have people on just to shoot the shit. He has to be on your show and I would come on to it. I would chip in a thousand bucks. A thousand bucks?

I mean, yeah. I don't know if we could buy him for a thousand bucks. I do what I don't think. I do think that we should hire a private investigator to find Patty C. Cubs's dad and then have him call in for money and see if Patty C. Cubs, see I'm like the hunter in Jurassic Park. You can't just get him, you've got to lure them or the raptors, whichever one you want. We've got to find something that he needs.

He doesn't need money. No, he doesn't need money. He doesn't need money. We've got to find something that he wants, not does need money. He does need money. I hear you're saying. We've got to find something that he wants, not what he needs. Right. He needs money. Right. He doesn't want it. He doesn't want to need money. He probably wants to need his dad. Right? He probably does.

He never said, doesn't know it. I know it. I think that's the lore of Patty Seacups. I bet we could find him. How, I mean, how much different could his dad be than this whack job? Is there a guy that you know that there's one guy in America that acts like this, Alunatic?

Yeah, somebody's like, oh, he's my neighbor. He's always singing karaoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's always asking me to be on his podcast. Oh, okay, let's go. And you know what, if you guys really do enjoy what's happening here, stop supporting this dummy on Patreon.

I don't want your money, but don't give this fucking loser money. Don't give him money to hang out with a guy he thinks is a celebrity. He's talking about me. A guy who calls himself Dick Masterson, oh, I'm such a fucking internet rebel. Look at me.

I'm an internet rebel. I'm a guy's fucking circle jerk in a basement once a week. Congratulations, dude. You're just as cool as you were in high school. I was very cool in high school. These are the guys that tried to get a cool bike when they were kids, just to make friends. It wasn't because they had a personality.

A cool bike just to be different. A cool bike. Did you ever get a cool bike? I mean, to impress your friends? No, I got a cool bike because I really wanted a cool bike. Yeah, I got cool. I went to these and, go ahead. I had these in skateboard when I was a kid,

but it wasn't because I was trying to be popular. Or it was just like it helped me do kick flips and stuff. Yeah. I would have never thought like, oh, I got to appeal to other guys by getting, yeah. I never thought that. Yeah, I like. No, no, no thought that. Yeah, I like. No, no, no.

Women. So you didn't grow up in Indiana that apparently? I guess not. I guess that. Girls come check out this cool bike. Not other men come check out my. Anything. These guys try to just have an item.

Hey guys, look what I have. Will you be my friend now, even I have nothing to offer because I'm a fucking dope. I'm a fucking. I'm a loser. Okay. Oh, I was like, so this is really funny because we literally have popular shows based on our content, our personality, the prop that we do, the work that we do to put these shows on. And he says, these guys are such dorks that in order for people to like them, they have to have cool stuff,

which is the opposite of how you become a professional podcaster. It's the opposite. And that makes it go away. Jack has a cool basement, that's why I'm here. Yeah, that's everyone loves my fucking basement. Everyone comes in and says, oh, there's a lot smaller than I thought it would be.

Yeah, true. How big do you think a basement is? I do, he's kind of right. Technically, this is not even a basement. No, I don't know what it is. It's just like an unfinished room. And he's right in that. What I'm saying, go ahead.

He always has the wrong take. When he tries to figure out an angle He's like oh these guys are nerds. They don't even have a personality nobody likes them. It's like well, dude How why are there so many people on our sub-run? It's what he's talking about and it doesn't make any sense that he like he finds the exact wrong angle There's tons of things to make fun of me about I might teeth suck. I have Um, that's being generous I have, um, that's being generous. He's like, there's tons of things that Goof had before.

He's fighting the exact wrong angle on this. Yeah. That's why he's the greatest podcasting. He's so fucking, it's so fucking weird with him. Um, like he, he has this desire to be a famous comedian. Uh, he has the desire to be the, the retired comedian where he just lectures people on what's funny, right? But the middle part is a famous comedian. He has the desire to be the retired comedian where he just lectures people on what's funny, right? But the middle part is a lot easier.

Yes, but he's right that it's like being an improv coach. Yeah, but he's right. Oh, well, these guys don't have a personality. So they have all this equipment to get friends like, no, the show is the compensation for my lack of personality. Like the humor and the content and the comedy is my overcompensation for being horrible and feeling like you're patty-seekups, you're right kind of,

but you just need to twist it in a way so you can use it to get over your own horribleness and produce actual content instead of, instead of seeing podcasting as a conduit from your inner self to the people, it is a mask and a wall between you and the people as as, look, I know I'm insufferable, but I've made this wonderful show for you that you have that you need to come to me for That's the that's the deal He's right. It's just not it's it's not the bike. It's the show. All right. Here we go. Hey look who it is It's dick master send and Carl aka dopey and can't the knee There you go, click that

We just dead Anthony. There you go. Clip back. I'm letting you show some fuck boys. We just dead. You got. Oh, that's great. What a dopey and corral this podcast. Great. Yeah. Podcasts.

And these guys want me on their team so fucking bad. So bad. Trying to, gotta save our show. Yeah. And yet I want nothing to do with them. So if you want a guy who's riding solo doing the shit his own way and has been since day one, get on the fucking bus. Get on the bus. All right. Yeah, real quick guys. Get on the bus is so perfect for him. Patrick Michael, get on

the bus. Dick, yeah, check your email. I just I forwarded you a couple hours ago. Okay. Adam Thoreau made a song for us. And it's all lyrics that came couple hours ago. Okay. Adam Thoreau made a song for us, and it's all lyrics that came from this episode. Okay, okay. The briefcase. It's one of the greatest things. It's been in my head for three days straight now. It's so good, you gotta play it.

Wait, did I just play this? Oh, did you already play it? Did I play this before the break? What? Is it the metal song? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just played this. Oh, you're not playing it. Oh, okay, that's why we're playing this song now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just played this. Oh, you're not playing. Oh, okay, that's why we're playing this now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get on the

fucking bus. Get on the bus, Sean. If you want to ride solo, get on the point of paying you money to these guys who they don't deserve your money just doing a podcast in their basement with no real content. So Dick, I don't know. I don't know if you know this, but he declared this was his last ever episode of the briefcase because if he's being compared to you and me, he is what's nothing to do with that. So then he put out a brand new episode just Friday night. Have you heard that one yet? No, is that about us again?

It is, and so funny because he's so excited. He got so many downloads on this episode that we're gonna see too now. And he goes, and it's because I was making fun of Ricky Masterson. Oh, okay. He starts calling you Rick Masterson. That's his new name for you.

That's my father's name. Oh. I mean, he should just do a show, shitting on us. I know me. Like, there's a big, there are enough people who hate us to listen to that. Yes.

For sure. All right, I'm gonna play more. To have receding hairlines and fucking, you know, any dicks. Any dicks. Get it? Like a belly button. You dick goes in.

Yeah. Inward. That's what he was saying. Not in. Not with an A. Receiving hairlines. I'm 40 month, fucker. What are you?

What do you do? What I have here is a gift from God. Yeah, right? This is the most unreceding hairline on earth. It's at least some of my problems. Yeah, receiving fucking hairline? Oh, buddy, yeah, oh my God. You really got me.

I drove myself to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack. I don't even fuck about my hair. You know, right? You know, enjoy that, but you're only gonna get mediocre content. These are guys that think reviewing shit on the internet is the top of the line entertainment. That's the riffing.

I'm gonna entertain. They're just riffing on funny internet stuff. Check them out. Look at their riffing skills. Yeah. Look at their jokes. Yeah. Do you ever listen to any of it?

And I wish and hope the best for all of you great successes Huge grandiose successes, you know, I hope I hope you get everything you want in your life and you earn it Patti that's nice. I'm already a huge success It's not wish you success in the future, happened, done, is happening. There's no taking it back, Patty C. Capricore, what are you gonna say? When I know about this guy, he's trying to roast us,

and then he says, I've never heard their shows, I don't know what their shows are like. They'd be like, he was a Charlie Sheen roast, and the guy came and goes, I've never seen any of his movies or his TV shows. I don't know what this guy does. Like a good one, buddy. Like maybe you should watch Major League, and then goof out of it all.

It's like, it's the where that he came on this new show that just came out and he goes, I roasted those guys so good. I'm so good at this. But I don't want to do it. It takes too much effort. I didn't think too much effort. It's amazing. He scripted all this out.

Do you think? I don't know. I think he did. He must have. The any dicks. He must have any dicks. Yeah, any dicks. Yeah, dope and cantony There's no way he came up with that in the spot. Yeah, no way. I Don't know he might have because he laughed so hard at himself when he said that he liked surprised himself with saying that It did sound like that. So we elevate his podcasting there go because they've never heard him say something that funny and all the stuff I heard okay, that funny. And all the stuff for the record. Okay.

That's true. Without having the songs, you know, outside of that, go fuck yourself. You know, thank you. That's actually, actually, the self is the essential. You probably already do. So why am I even recommending it? You're like, that was my Friday. When I hung out with Carl Friday, that's what we did. What are we talking about? We butt fucked each other. Put it in your shirt. Matter of fact, play the whole episode.

We had gay sex. Play the whole episode, dude. You're not gonna get a copyright strike. Wouldn't even know where to begin. That's true. You did. I'd shut your whole shit down. Because you've used way too much of my content for your fucking... Like a... Like a...

I'm too dumb to find how to fucking give you a copyright strike.! I'm too dumb to find you how to fucking give you a copy right thing. If I was a smarter man, you'd be fucked. But since I am a I am an idiot.

Absolute retard. You're safe. So go ahead. Get on the bus. Get on the map. Get on the map. Get on the map.

Get laugh at my expense. You guys are so lucky. You guys are so lucky that I don't control my camera. Remember my my operating system password to get into my laptop. But I would play the whole show. I'm not going to copy you because I don't know how and if I did, I'd copyright strike you.

Yeah. And I were both dumb and lazy. You guys have been going down so hard right now. Do you think he blows off steam by recording more karaoke? Probably after these we listen to I believe I could fly. Amazing amazing. The greatest. The ones where his face is in the fucking video.

A whole new dimension of cringe. Uh, here we go. Sad excuse for a podcast. Oh. I keep using this while I'm in. But use the whole episode. Satellite excuse for a podcast. Oh. I can't even tell you. What can I say, guys? By all means, but use the whole episode. Don't try to clip apart and make me look like a fucking retard

when the reality is, you don't even understand a joke. I don't think you really understand how funny it works. That's offensive. How's funny work? Because if you did, you certainly wouldn't make a show where you're making fun of people that have better shows than you. Well, if I did, if I knew how funny worked, you guys would be fucked. You guys, I'd tell you.

Right? If I could get DMCA play. If I was a smarter man, I would explain how jokes work to you. So you fuckers are lucky. You guys are lucky. I don't know how funny works. Because that would be the end of you. I would come out, both guns blazing, roasting you constantly on my bus.

What's going on there? Did a milk break into your Cuck shed that you're recording in? There was a, sorry, was that Donnie's? So it was a dropping thing. So we're trying to get to a quiet place. I got a poop on his going. All right. Where the fuck is the car? We throw. It's the kind where what? I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I've smoking pork throwing a football around. What do you like it? A natural ice commercial? Hey, bro, anybody want to throw the big skin around? No, fuck you. I'm drinking. I'd rather smoke pork. What was that SNL skit where they were like all games?

Like, let's get this is exactly like slits. Yeah, everything you saw in that commercial is what's going on right here. You're throwing a football around you? Is that true? We were throwing the football in the pool, yeah. Okay. You guys don't do that in LA? What's the problem? No, we do not.

Only talk about our screenplays at our pool parties. Right. Everybody asks. And ask about who's coming. Yeah, and when are they coming? Everybody's on their MacBook Pro in the pool. Yeah, writing a screenplay. The football already been thrown at a pool party in LA.

That person would be me. We have a black guy. Yeah, gone. On their criminal record, Sean. A black guy from not being able to catch the football was what I, oh yeah. That's better, you understand funny. I could explain it to you.

If I were smarter man. I don't get it. All right, here we go. Dude, it's weird. It's weird. But I'm sure you've heard all these things before, but you haven right, here we go. Dude, it's weird. It's weird. But I'm sure you've heard all these things before, but you haven't heard it for me. That constantly guy who's a main product of your show.

You should be paying. You should be paying. We'd love to pay you. We would love to pay you. We would love to pay you. I should get half. Buddy, I would love to pay you. I would love to pay you money to do bits for the show

or whatever call into Carl's show. I don't care, figure it out. Just figure out how much money you want and don't make it a stupid amount. Like Vito did with his $500. Ha ha ha. Well that was stupid. Of everything you make.

Half. I want half. I'm an angry ex-wife. I'm taking all your shit again, Carl. I'm taking all your stuff, a child. Give me all your stuff. I'm the ex-wife that couldn't stand you anymore. And now I just want all your stuff. I want all of it in fact, but I'll take half. You know what that's a reference to? No, what?

Because without me, you know? He goofed down me a little while ago and he goes, dude, you're a guy. That was when I was on the Chip Chipperson show. So we happened to come across this video on YouTube, the Pistom off. He's like, Carl's talking to Anthony Cumian, Jim Norton, these all pissed. He goes, Carl, you're a guy who got divorced. That was his joke about me. I was like, okay. Okay. That's a pretty good, that's a pretty good burn.

Did you get divorced? I have not ever been divorced. No, that's a good burn. I'll hear a guy who has been divorced. You should have said you were adopted. Yeah. Nothing. Without me, you're zero.

You need to. Zero. But as I said, the briefcase is dead. Podcasting for me is done. Oh man. After this episode, consider me out of here. You might get some new content, but it's only gonna be what?

Episodes, I've already recorded and edited. Like, I'm not recording shit anymore. Too pock. Because if somehow I'm being compared to whatever those fucking losers are doing. You're not. Don't worry. Yeah, don't worry.

We don't even have a lot. I'm not gonna keep being on. In some sort of category with these fucking... No, but I worry with these fucking no Trianglo transportation I'm not gonna do some fucking shitty category with these fucking queues. Can't do it He podcasts I also if you ever called anyone a queef no you no No car all you ever called anyone a queef I have it but we're gonna start yeah

Well, I have to you'd have to understand you know you'd have to explain humor to whoever you just called as you see that's humor. You can't say joke work. You quave. Yeah. What? What the fuck? Well, I don't want to talk about the contradictions real quick. Okay. So he says he doesn't want to be compared to us. He doesn't want to be in the same world as us. So he's going to quit. Yeah. Then his brand new episode that just dropped, he says that his partner, Hipstar, this guy who's on this new show with him, was to do a W ATP style show where they clip my show and do fun. I was like, well, wait a second.

That's the opposite of what you've been saying and why you're quitting podcasting. They have to do that. I hope they do. I would love it. I would love it. It would be so amazing. People would listen to it. I'm ready for it. I've always wanted somebody to do an after I hope they do. I would love it. I would love it. It would be so amazing. People would listen to it. I'm ready for it. I've always wanted somebody to do an after show of this show, but every time they try to do it, they just kind of then add their

own thing. You know, they want to be the star. Yeah. But we don't want to be an after show. We want to like do our own thing. It's like, okay, well, it's a deadline. Right. Yeah. It's not about me, I don't care. Yeah. Podcasts and somehow we are mentioned in the same sentence. Fuck that, I'm gone. I'm not gonna be associated with that fucking idiot.

Any of them. Any of you. And if I've already somehow lumped myself in with these fucking douchebags, I'm done. I'm running away. I'm out of here. I'm outy. Because I certainly have enough confidence in myself that yeah that's the problem. I keep doing this because I know there's people out there that need this type of content. No, no, but it's somebody giving it to you. Raw and real and actually kind of bringing that recess to real. I'm only a magnifying, that's raw and real.

That's raw and real. I'm only a magnifying and that's the sky. I think I'm on every night and night. Raw and real. That's fucking raw. I got some more raw tracks from. I got the occasion, if if you will from your daily stresses And I'm giving you mine

It's like a hand job but for your ears, but I mean the truth is I'm not I don't stress it It's more like stabbing your brain like he's downing Handfuls of Annie depressants every night. I hope you not to wake up the next morning Still has to go listen to somebody recording a podcast on a PS3 headset. Fine. Also, Carl, you are in any depressants every night? I'm in the middle of the press and I don't own a PS3 headset. Just throw it out there.

Just like that. Okay. Okay. Any depressants? Fist-fulls of them. How would you make fun? Why would you mock mental health? Well, because he gives it to your Ron real.

Oh, yeah. All right. He throws to God. Just because you're autistic, it doesn't mean your creative or smart. Take your own advice. All right, put that in your show. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. All right.

Just because you're autistic doesn't make you interested. It's a funny, smart, relevant, cool, any of that shit. Okay, so labeling yourself or just being autistic doesn't mean, hey, I should start talking to people because I'm interesting. You're not. So I'm gonna learn how to say. A question for you.

Yeah, go ahead. Okay, I think you're talking about me right here, but maybe it's about you. I've never once had I was autistic. I don't believe that I am. I don't think you ever said you were autistic, right? No, I do not have autism. Sean, you don't have autism.

This is full on, this is full on projection, as Sean mentioned. Like this guy literally hears all the criticism of the heat gas and he goes, you probably say that you're autistic. Like, no, I've never like no, I know I don't I'm a bad via dumb thing to say I sleep in a bed with my wife. That's how What do you like a autistic doing it weird? No, no, I I sleep in a race car bed

Bad with my wife Here we go. It's because Tom hangs from big. He is. There's something so preciously childlike about everything he says that I just want him to embrace. And I want people to support him. Where can you go to support anchor dot anchor dot FM

slash the briefcase or whatever? I don't know where you want to go. It's patreon.com slash pod culture. Oh, is where you can give him money. Culture. All right. Pod. Yes.

Yes. Patreon.com slash pod culture. If the biggest problem, remakes, takes your money away from Vito and gives it to you. Adding speakers. And here we go. Get better at speaking before you put your voice on a microphone. All right. Oh. Your mouth is probably great for other things,

but not speaking. So do you buy some? Why don't you take and shove a nice dick master send it in the back of your throat? Oh, you know, if you haven't already, and again, no, I'm not coming on your show. The dick show, I'm not coming on fucking, who are these dummies? I'm not coming on, we are assholes. I'll just come on all of you.

So open your mouth, put those sweet lips out, and I'll come on all of you. How about that? Sweet lips. Right, gay jokes, guys. Gay jokes, do you get it? Explain it. What's the, I have to say that because these fucking retards will be like, look, he's gay.

He was, come on us, you, how gay. We got coming in, sweet lips. Have you ever, you're gonna fight with a man at a bar and you're like, why don't you put your, put out your sweet lips so I can come on them? How do you think that? I also love what you, I also love what you, I also love what he tells us. Yeah, go ahead.

Hey, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, saying that I'm gay. It's like, dude, you've never listened to our show as you keep saying that. Why do you think you know what we're going to say and how we're going to react to what you said? Why are you talking about such lips? We ain't love this episode. Put you, put those eight instead of put up your dukes, put out your sweet lips so I can come on them. Not gay. I bet you're going to think that's gay, right?

That's on you. That's on them. Not gay. I bet you're gonna think that's gay, right? That's on you. I didn't see it swallow. It's not gay. Put out your lips, Sean. Yeah. Put out those sweet lips. No. Isn't a sexual thing. Oh, okay. It's a dominant thing. It's me. Okay, I'm not raping you because of course, you know, willing me to want my calm move. You know, but you're gonna take it. Like a bitch. Okay. Massage. Because your wife, you can make your talk like this. Say the eyes. He wants to fuck us, but whatever stupid lame pathetic angle, you try to, I don't think you want to try to talk us.

Go for it. Wait a minute. Where did that come from? I know what you're going to think that I want to fuck you. Carl, did you think that a sexual, but he's talking about the act of ejaculating, which is about as sexual as you can get. Like that is like peak arousedness when you're ejaculating onto someone or something. Yeah. So I disagree.

Who was that a milk chiming in or a wolf chiming in the background? That was a wolf. That was a wolf yelling at the background. About ejaculating. Yeah. You say Carl, get those sweet lips out over here. Let me ejaculate on. Let me paint those. You're not supposed to be threatened. No, you're just doing the podcast. I would have killed myself two years ago if I was having a little conversation with my friend.

I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? in your show. We'll play it all. Show your fans how non-threatened I am by you and you're fucking. You're not supposed to be threatened. No. You're just doing the podcast. I would have

killed myself two years ago if I was having to sit through shitty podcasts all day long. I probably wouldn't be sure. I only clips to you because I have such a quality. That's what the money's for. Right. Call us into a spot. Three. It's the money, I actually make jokes, I actually make funny stuff. And he's got to use it for something. But remember, you're not important to me, dude. Like remember, you're the same.

This is the Dunning Kruger effect, right? I mean, you think so? What do you mean? I mean, just, this is a perfect example. People who, you know, people who aren't particularly good at things drastically overestimate how good they are and people who are actually good or proficient at something tend to downplay how good,

they are at something to underestimate. I mean, he's at the extreme end of the spectrum. Yeah, I'm a Kruger effect. Right. I think he's in part of the, I think he's not good. He's not a down-to-down But what are you going to say, Carl? It's also insane to think that this guy's going on a show to talk about the fact that

he doesn't care about me. This is the third episode in this month dedicated to talking about me. It's like, if I went on a podcast and I just ranted about the Buffalo Bills and I'm like, I don't care if they lose every fucking game. I don't care about the seats. Like, that's all you talk about. You obviously care about the bills. Yeah, okay, here we go.

Why would, like, what's wrong with caring about Carl? Why is everyone, what do these guys always have to not care? Like, it's always, who's relevant? Oh, you're not relevant. What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean relevant? Oh, you're not relevant. What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean relevant? Yeah. To what?

Yeah. I know kidding. All right. I know who doesn't care about me. You know who doesn't care about me? It's Tim Dylan. He's never mentioned my name once. He's never heard by show.

That's the guy who doesn't care about me. It's very different. There's a lot of people who don't care about me. This is not one of them. You're not one of them Which isn't good But I'll keep you around and reuse you Lip or play a single thing you won't even even know it. Voice from this podcast where he spent $700 on a microphone,

but can't say words correctly. Oh, that's a good one. If I really gave a shit about this guy's life, I would certainly do a lot more research. Or maybe if I was as desperate as him, I would just have people give me all of it, all of the information about him through Discord or through my Reddit.

Because that's cool. Yeah. I had one of those. Which I well, well, we'll fix that. The shortest to make my show, family. Wish me. He's saying things that are true. Right. My research. Yeah.

And what a bunch of fucking idiots. These guys are that are like yeah, yeah, here Carl look he paid for his Patreon and he's looking this clip. He's he talked about you man. Yeah, they're having fun. What a nerd. What a hack. Yeah. So I guess I'll just leave you with this.

Okay. Because I want to get ahead of it before you guys decide to take this angle. Uh-oh. You're going to say, oh, he must be a fan. Or Carl's getting to him because he's talking about, he's, he's mentioning Carl so much, he must be getting under his skin. I'm being cut. Yup.

Of course. If that's the case, if me mentioning him says that he's getting under my skin or I'm a fan, what does that say about? He must love me. He's gay. Carl loves me. So when it came to coming on all those dudes,

Carl would probably be willingly taking it like a hungry baby bird. It's a disgusting visual. But again, we have fun here. We have a lot of fun here, guys. And so many people have been asking. Let me sound like a crazy drug dealer. You got to, I'm gonna come in here. Not like a baby bird.

It's disgusting. We have fun here, guys. We have, we're having all just having fun. I was having a good time Who wants some come Weird right everyone's cool It's like a low-key Dennis Hopper and blue velvet Mother fucker coming on lips fucker bullshit fucker coming on lips fucker bullshit

those who live fucker but you sweet lips hour I can see them but just sweet lips hour I can see them What did he just say something about how he's not a getting so car loves him. Oh, Carl National treasure. Yeah, he said so what I'm gonna say is projecting again. He knows what I'm saying, and he never wants to show up. He was a girl's gonna say, is I'm obsessed with Carl, and I must like Carl, because I keep talking about him.

But if that's true, that means Carl loves me, because he talks about me. And the answer is yes. I do love Patrick, Michael. I can't get enough of his content. I'm fascinated by him. I talk about it with my friends

He's really text people I text friends in mine who are like holy shit. What's going on Patrick? Mike I know this is great like we we talk about him In our spare time. It's not like show content. Well, I'm really interested in this dude I told Carl getting a mention on patty seecubs's show was bigger than when bill burr mentioned me I was like Oh You just can't you can't pull it together. You just can't monetize it. Okay, but this is a little bit more or mentioning hey Carls mentioned this guy on a show before

Grown man can't you think Number two you show sucks if stupid You don't create it or manipulate it because of his podcast well listen to more than 15 seconds, okay? because of his podcast? Well, listen to more than 15 seconds, okay? Because- So have you listened to all of Patty C. Cups' show? I always listen to them all. Yeah!

Yeah, you have to. You really have to. That's why I'm giving the whole episode air this time. So Carl doesn't put your in and make him look stupid by pulling clips at a contest, as he's want to do. Because if you do that, we just may misinterpret jokes that he goes on to explain later. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He really explains the shit out of them. He's not doing anything creative or original.

Oh, it's just, um, I'm sure everyone says this about him. And yet he's like, oh, look how many fans still listen to my shit. It's like, dude, you know the fucking worst person in history is always the person who's like, look how many friends I have online. Is that what Hitler was? Yeah. That's what I was like.

Look at my friends, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,

what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, Six million of this friends exist in a virtual world I Don't think you can get to patty see cuz like he's on the Following he's got learn yeah clips of me not even saying him and him thinking that it's him. Because it's sometimes not him. It is usually my dad. I'm usually talking shit about my dad when he goes nameless.

Because I'll just say Carl, because typically nobody knows who he is. Most of the people who listen to my shit don't listen to it because they heard of me on your show. So he's talking about his dad and you, and he's talking about you. Oh, he's not, he's talking about you. Oh, he's not. He's talking about you. That gets very confusing, but that's not true. He goes, most people listen to my show,

don't know who Carl is. They didn't discover me through WTP. That's just not true. It's plainly false. They're from the majority of the people. 100% of his of his Patreon support is fans of my show because they messaged me and they go, oh my gosh, you gotta hear the stupid intro and I was like, so I know for a fact. I know for a fact. We're all by listeners. They're checking out Patty Seacops and he's welcome. I'm not upset about it.

I want more people to listen to his show. Right. I mean, it's spread the word. Yeah, it's fine. I want him to get my- I don't deny it. Okay, here we go. Oh, but thanks for listening, I guess.

All right, and then he plays this gigantic metal riff to play the line. I was gonna say, there's still like a decent amount left. He plays the entire song. Does he say? Yeah, no, he doesn't sing. No, no, no. He goes and sings under the sea on karaoke.com

or whatever he's doing. You know, I just didn't do this guy. Real quick, I just do this guy. Oh, real quick. I just introduced this guy to uh, to the revenge of the SES. We did a show yesterday. It's out now. Okay. Uh, so Royce and Merce were on the show. And they didn't know about Patty Seacup. So I started playing in his clips. And they were fascinated. Like they're like, what is going on here? He said, then we got into the hole. Yeah. Oh, I love watching people discover him

for the first time, because it reminds me of the joy I had right first turn his podcast. So that's right, you don't even know who this guy exists. This is, you're gonna love this, this is amazing. So I was telling people about his smule account, I'm like, you gotta listen to do karaoke stuff. And so I was asked people in the discreet, like, just send me a link to a smule account, we'll play them on the show. So

we're doing this in real time. And I click a link and he's singing the Aladdin song. And it sounds like, yeah, it sounds like, you know, like how Eric Cartman, like tries to sing like these like ridiculous show tunes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was amazing. They were losing their minds over. I'm like, yeah, don't just this guy. He's real entertaining in every way. He's a real guy. If any, if you came across this man in any other time, but present day, it would be, it would be a fucking nightmare.

Like, imagine him just had, like not having the internet to make like to keep him at a distance, but just have like Hey, hi, I'm patty seecups. This is my farm like I'm the I'm the boss here. I go great Nightmare. Oh, yeah, fucking nightmare. Oh, yeah, thank God. We have the internet so to talk about it Just holding people captive. Yeah All right Carl. Thank you for calling in Yeah, man, thanks so much for giving me a heads up to check it out and Sean, welcome back. Thank you.

Vito, great job. And the biggest problem, I'm super stoked about that coming back. Great job, guys. Me too. See you on the next crossover. I think we're probably going to do two a month. Oh, yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. All right, Carl, bye. All right, Todd, do you see us? So yeah, patreon.com slash who are these podcasts, I think? I don't know, everybody knows what it calls. All right, Carl, bye. All right, Dodd. See you at Patreon.com slash who are these podcasts, I think? I don't know, everybody knows what it calls. All right, everybody.

That's a show. Goodbye. Welcome back, Sean. See you, thank you. Nice to be back. I have you back. See you next week.