The Dick Show - Episode 264 - Dick on Lifting Cars

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

Vegan pool party, confiscated talcum powder, Los Angeles is open for Juneteenth, three-hour haircuts, pandemic movies, women lifting cars off of babies, strippers turning 21, and long lost penises; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

You got whiskey in there? Whoa. Smart move. Well, you don't need to be smart, man. Don't get too up before you get down. You got to get up to get down. So calm. He's so calm and composed right now, Sean.

Really? With black coffee and whiskey. We had, oh my, oh my. My man here really tested the limits of my patience. Sean, of your patience. Yes, really. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't think there was, I never thought there was a limit.

She was on the other foot. Here we go. The turns have tabled. I'm talking full on screaming match in lobby of the park, MG. Wow. Wow. That's about to hit significantly more out of our mind than the other. Well,

you're dragging on zipped luggage through the lobby. Well, someone had an erotic million dollar fantasy destroy ruined. What's coming or going? Well, the coming was going. Got it. I see really tested my limit Sean He's gonna I'd like to apologize to everyone everyone in the world everyone in the world if you hear this you bump him up a little bit

Yeah, sure I Blue it. I really fucked up there. It's a bit out of line. That's on me. I did. Two finger pointing. I break out the two finger pointing. Two finger pointing.

Two finger pointing. I've never seen two finger pointing. Or pay attention to it. I'm being at the park MGM did. Two guys, two obvious lovers, one screaming, screaming until he's screaming until he's ready to cry listen you son of a bitch

you are a white line out of the another shocker pointing with a shocker shocker pointing i was so upset shocker pointing and then a third

a third gay man comes in wearing an identical another right to the university uniform knowing his wallet ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, yeah, that's what I was screaming into. The Jaguar shark. Spinning eyes, like a slot machine. Boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. In the background. Wow, we got to unpack.

Should we start the show? I don't know. I don't know if we can, I think that's maybe not. That's the fucking Vegas. I think some shows, I always feel so out of it because I don't have a curfew during summer, during the year, during the school year, I have to go to bed at 9.30.

That's true. Like a fucking square. Can everybody hear me? But during summer, summer, I can do whatever I want. So I'm completely out of my mind. Yeah. Out of my fucking mind. What do you say up like,

I stay up. And you stay up, yeah. What time do you, you still have to work allegedly. I mean, like, but I want let's just all calm down about these sorts of insinuations. I mean, you can sleep until you're asleep until you're going to be fine now.

No, no, I have to get up it whatever fucking time the dog wants to get up. Have you tried to like, work her back to a time or is she like, it's seven o'clock? I should be. I, it's seven o'clock, I should can feed me. It's that. It's that.

I tried, but I don't have the willpower. Yeah. It turns out if it's not some form of getting high, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I should have been a fucking dog. It's just easier than heaven. We'll sit there and debate.

My girlfriend, A.D. is growing, We'll sit there and debate. My girlfriend, Aidey's girlfriend, I will sit there and debate. Should we feed the dog or not until usually me just goes, oh, God, I'm just gonna fucking feed her. Yeah, I'm not. 330 in the afternoon. We'll show it in test box. Yeah, 330. And then on Friday, when Steven,

you were here for a week. On Friday, an insane lunatic starts shouting somewhere in the canyon in the neighborhood jibbering about nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the simps, like the crazy person from the Simpsons. Oh, the cat lady. The cat, like the, yeah, yeah. He's out there naked doing God knows what?

So the dog is giving test marks and I'm like I could ignore I could tune out the insane man because I lived in Hollywood for seven years. So I know how to tune out the insane, right? But I can't tune out the And you never test bar. It's always a irregular intervals If it was some constant or something you could do, but it's just like, is she gonna do it? She's gonna come fuck Christmas. Maybe she went back to sleep. Passen waiting for the dog to blow up.

For the dog. Look at off. And then I've just so in my head about the neighbors hearing it because I hate barking dogs, you know. So, but this is not real. I know what kind of barks these are. These are not like the Well, she's testing you. Yeah, I'm being tested. You're being tested. Do they turn into the job in the

They were turned into the full on like scatter shot. No, okay, where it's I was being I was being tested all weekend Really, that's when it started that's what my testing started. I'm fucking tired of it. Let's start the show That's what my testing started. Fuck Vegas. I'm fucking tired of it. Let's start the show. Uh, Vegas problems back. Vegas problem.show. I think we might do it this week. I think.

Yeah! How come a day you want to get into G-Loving? You got it as a show! One's a goddest going to be live from Mountain Bunker deep in the heart the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the on the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourself. And joining me on this very unhealthy program, joining me all the way from halfway around the world, from sin, from the Middle East, from the, I don't know, I can't do that boxing shit. It's my man, Steve. What's up, my man? How you doing?

Pretty good. Yeah. I think I've considered old school guests. Old school guests. Wow. There might be listeners who don't even know who the got old school. It's good to see old school. Yes. Wow. There might be listeners who don't even know who the hell you are. The man that I brought home from Burning Man who lived with me and was my valet and ran errands for me and walked the dog.

Walked the dog once or twice and then made kind of like, you know, sporadic appearances on the show. Came into a road rage. Yeah. Yeah. God. I Vegas a road rage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. God, I, Vegas makes me rage. Let me get right into it. I talked about the crazy homeless man.

Pilates have started just in time for me. Thank God. Back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back to being fit. The most fit without being too far. Well, that's important. I've talked about this. Thank fucking God. I spent all about this. Thank fucking God. I spent all weekend at the pool in Vegas.

And for once in a year, I have forgot what not feeling like a big fat repulsive fuck was like. Do you have you, have you started working out again now that they not masks are gone? Happy June 10th. Max masks are gone. That's going to be one one three-year can you believe can you believe that they they had the golden opportunity to just make it black friday

and they put it on saturday and they're rush in their excitement to make wait who is they that that biting uh... there is uh... it was right in front of them black friday right there after is an ironic at all? After totally decimating the black communities, job unemployment, with a year of forced lockdowns

to celebrate the end of the- Hey, you're going back to like the sentencing and like all the, yeah. Congratulations, you can take a day off from the job that we took away from you. Way to go. And you can spend it with your, Black Friday, okay.

Black Friday. Why don't we celebrate it on Black Friday? Is it just me or did the June 10th celebration take the form of everyone posting World Star Hip Hop videos on Twitter like, overwhelmingly? I didn't see what people were posting. I don't think this is a good way to celebrate. Okay. Fucking, fucking Las Vegas every day, every day, every day as I get older, my rage at the prohibition, the nationwide prohibition reaches, reaches new heights, the nationwide drug prohibition reaches new heights.

I had a small package of talcum powder in my pocket, in a cigarette case that I use because I like to have dry balls. You know? I like, when I go dancing, I like to have dry balls. Dry balls. I don't know about you guys. I forgot I put it in there. Yeah. And the fucking security guard at this club in Vegas,

I started patting everybody down, finds my cigarette case that I remind you I didn't know I had, gets it out of my pocket and opens it up as though I'm going to have James bought, you know, a cigarette case about this big. What could you possibly have in there? Wouldn't he just, the first that he should have gone, he should have asked you about it. Like what's this?

A cigarette case. Like, yeah. For cigarettes. Right. You shithead. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what do you think I'm circling in plutonium that I'm going to disrupt this, this, this herd of pigs that you have lined up to go dancing in here, which by the way, everybody

in this line needs about a 50 pound bag of talcum powder to soak up these fucking flab folds. The only hot chicks in here in the line are with me anyway. So what are you exactly looking for with a cigarette case? So he sees my bull powder free drugs and goes, well, I've got to call, well, I've got to call the manager on this. Well, yeah, I mean, you're on the dogs too. Why?

This is how you're celebrating Juneteenth, sir. This is how you're celebrating Juneteenth. Juneteenth, you is with all with how many of your brothers and sisters, you know what you're this is how you're celebrating Juneteenth sir. This is how you're celebrating Juneteenth Juneteenth you is with all with how many of your brothers and sisters locked up for crimes your instant rat instant so the remainder comes out and he's like well if you don't give me your your info I'm gonna have to call the police right now I'm like I don't think that's I don't think that's legal club right club, right? Yeah, a club in Las Vegas. Which didn't open until midnight. So who the fuck, boy, balls are so wet. Balls are very wet.

And this fucking line. Some dry balls at this point. I'm gonna need to call the club. What kind of club are they if they open at midnight and hassle you about that? That's no club anybody wants to be. What about wanting to have dry balls? Yeah.

That is exactly what I was thinking. What, and now they go, well why don't I call, I'm pretty sure threatening to call the police over what you think over what you think is illegal, but don't know. It's probably more illegal than what I'm doing. So how about I give them a call?

Hey, this guy, this guy's trying to sell me ball powder, right? I've never seen it before. Right. I don't know. Um, embarrassing me in my, in front of my fucking friends over this, uh, this human crime lab running the door. Oh, yeah. It's, and it's, and it, it's, it's, it's not, my point is, it's not all cops are bastards because that, they get a lot of shit for all the bastarding that they do. do. But it's everybody. It's everybody going out of their way to be a bastard all day, every day. Half of people such that every day I'm hoping a little bit for the middle

for your people to drop a nuclear bomb. There you go. That's what you get. They finally outbastered you. You finally got outbastered at your own game. For all the, for all the, for all the, Nicklin' diamond and personality,

role enforcement that you just had to go being fucking curious, you finally got outbastered. That's the day I'm waiting for. Happy June team. What do you think about that, Steven? Well, you laid it out pretty clear, I think. It is worth pointing out that there was a full on metal detectors like the fucking TSA. Oh my God. You know, I think you're starting on your inside of me and that wasn't, you

know, I didn't ask for that. It was a weekend of testing. We got the longest haircuts on Earth. I think people have just forgotten how to function in society. It's become like, the world has become an antique mall. There's no cohesion anymore. It's just random experiences that someone is creating as if from memory. We went to a barber that now has to be,

that now is in a live work loft because the poor Schmuck, who probably had his own business at one, you know a barber shop where you go with your friends and sit down in a jovial atmosphere and get your haircut while guys, while guys with some sort of camaraderie bulshed with each other,

well that's destroyed. What's sports? Yeah, now these poor guys. What about sports? Yeah. Now, these poor guys. Talk about Milhamma Ali. Yes. Now, these poor guys in order to eat have had to move in to small confined prison cells and invite you in one by one

to cut your hair. They parked one of us outside like the Blair Witch while our hair was getting cooked. God, God, you can't, you can ride there a car together, but you can't sit together because your viruses might amplify each other and then infect the hair or, you know what I'm saying? What has been Salon's like, I'm surprised it's like that in Vegas. Maybe because like that was here.

That was a shower. Because I was here. I was just wanting to look nice. Oh, for the weekend. Yeah. They just wanted to look nice for the weekend with my Pilates that kicked in just in time. And I go to the fucking people in forever.

No. I moved. This guy moved. He moved to his own, a little work loft, which is a layer, which is a layer, level of hell. Live work lofts, have you ever been in there? It's more, they found a way to make living and working both more depressing equally. I don't know if there have been a live work lot. I mean, I've been in lofts have you ever been in there? They found a way to make living and working both more depressing equally.

I know that there have been a live work loft. I mean, I've been in lofts where, you know, I'm sure people were doing business, but what a way, where like downtown or something? Right down the street. So this fucking guy, I don't know if this is new. Maybe there's barbers listening to the show, but they can help explain this one to me.

Barbers have this new thing when they, that when you sit down, the first thing that they, as they, as they talk to you in terminology that you can never understand. I don't understand why they can't just give, like, you're the fucking barber. You give me the haircut. Figure out why I might, like, this is an essay. Do you want me to, like, you want to hear about my as-

Because there are used to people just fucking cut the hair. Because there are used to people just fucking cut the hair. Because there are used to people just fucking cut the hair. Can you not tell, as a barber barber, like do you not have hair sciences where you can tell what this look like six months ago? Allegedly there's a school that you go to. Do you deserve textbook? Maybe just get that out, run it in your fingers

through the glossary or something. I don't understand. Shorten it. Like a reverse playoff on the factory. No law, don't longen it. That's it. I don't need what level of razor, what level of razor, I don't fucking know

because I've only done, I do this a couple times a year. Yeah, some people do, I guess. It gets the thing about the service industry, it's like all business is the service industry to some extent. But things like barbershops and then retail, it is fucking, it is insane what customers like think they're entitled to

or can reasonably expect from anybody. Do you get a lap dance? Do you want me to put my leg like this or like this? Like this or like this? Like this or like I'm out of it. I'm done. I don't want anything anymore. I think they just try to head off the,

I'm gonna complain about my haircut and not try to pay for it. Because people are just like, I want a number of six on the sides. And fuck you. Yeah, just kick that guy out. I don't know. Kick that guy and make his wife cut his hair.

Fuck them. They do this thing now. It must be a new thing in barbering technology whereas as soon as you go through that shard, which is not gonna get, which is gonna, it not be related to the conversation at all, the ending haircut. They do this wonderful thing now,

where he takes the clippers and then just shaves off my entire sideburn in one stroke, not a, look, you see that? Oh, wow. Gone. It sounds like a fucking potato head. It's the same as your,

whatever the layer is underneath, your hair that you can't really see. Sideburn's gone. Yeah. Have you ever seen a man walking around with no sideburns? Well, in Vegas, I saw this guy on a pink shirt walking around with the sideburns. Yeah.

Have you ever seen it? A guy with no sideburns walking around. Like none whatsoever. Just totally shaved off. But only if like they were entirely bald on their head. Yeah. Well, most of is the new Shratt. Most of those people grow some kind of beard, so it breaks up, you need some contrast to your head,

especially if you're a really pink white guy. You need it's rough to have no hair on your head at all. I look like a potato head. It looks fat and weird. You just got to wear headphones everywhere. I look like, yeah, I will. I'll wear headphones everywhere from now on. And then I think you're special.

You won't get asked about anything. So the sideburns are gone immediately. And then he spends an hour meticulously detailing the back, asking over and over, asking over and over. What's the back? What's the back? what's the back like? What's the, how's this? How's this?

How come this wasn't done with the sideburns? I don't know. Why was it just one figure? Why would you want those? That I kneeled to Grass Tyson's playing the entire time. That he was sure about. Happy, dude. He knew that you did not want the sideburns.

Who has ever done that? Everything else was every hair needed permission granted to cut it except those. He's like, nope, no fucking buddy in the right mind would want these. Yeah, they're poison. There was a highlight though. Steven said the funniest thing I've ever heard.

I wanna get into that. That's a fun statement. I don't know how to describe it. You don't know how to describe it. You don't know how to describe it. Yeah. We've got a small group of friends. We're all on the yukkete. This is our, have we moved to Vegas yet?

Or is Vegas? We're in Vegas at this set. We need the scene set up. It's 120. It's a hot, it's hell. It's basically self hell. Yeah. You know what?

And the air conditioning in the room never dropped below 70. Even though I had it cranked down to whatever the low was just clicking. I would just stand there and click down all night just in case it had some kind of timer to go to auto set itself. And the room probably never dropped below 70 degrees, whichever is as well as 120 outside. But you knew that... It was when you built the building. You knew when you built the building. It wasn't a surprise.

It was the desert when they built the fucking building. Yeah, you knew that was gonna happen eventually. So what is the deal here? Anyway, we're at a... We're at a vegan pool party, which makes sense. Oh boy. Which was great. It was nice. You know, it's great about vegans. The chicks are super skinny.

Yeah. And the guys are super skinny. Yeah. So you got like a bunch of, I, I, I, I, I have seen a couple of fat ass vegans though, because you can get, you can get fat on like sugar and, you know, fake ice cream. Vegan. I don't know. I'm just saying.

That's vegan. I can think of one person who is, of course. Yeah. Is there any lifestyle where women can't eat sugar? Is there any fruititarians? That's full of sugar, right? Is there anyone who they just can't eat sugar? Okay, so we had, we had a small group of friends

at this vegan, vegan pool party. Small group, small group, very close friends. And, do you have to be invited this vegan vegan pool party. Small groups, small group, very close friends. And she had to be invited to a vegan pool party or wasn't just invited or was that. I don't know. So I just find it on the internet. Like, yeah, let's do that. Let's go to the, I hope we weren't invited. We're not getting invited back. Yes. We found the mermaid lagoon and we're screaming like maniacs on, we were taking mad lips all day. So we're doing mad lips all day. So we were doing mad lives all day. So we're a peak insanity.

Yeah. And during this peak of the mad lives, one of our friend happens to have a fake leg, right? Really? Very, very lovely person. Happens to have fake legs. That is, there's so much fun. You can, well, yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know.

Some people's lives. Some people, it's some people's lives. I mean, but like, I've known people with fake legs, they always seem to embrace it. Yeah. Well, because what are you going to do? What are you going to do? In this instance, we're all sitting around. I don't remember why you said this. Everyone was kind of like, we're all sitting around. I don't remember why you said this.

Everyone was kind of like, razzin' me. I don't know. Everyone either become the clown or I always was. I couldn't quite figure out what the line was. If you're sitting at a table and you can't identify the clown, you're the clown. That's probably me. So there's a round of kind of general ribs in my direction.

So I turned into the pool and I said, well, at least I'm not a cripple. No. Okay. He said only one of us. He said, we're all, he said everybody relax. We're all subtly. We're all friends here. Only one of us is a cripple. And I have never, I have never seen jaws drop. Yeah. This even the mention of the word cripple in a lot of circles will get you banned from life. Yeah. Not alone. If there was somebody right there, minus an appendage and I'm not I still haven't recovered. I started laughing. It broke you. My mouth. I don't think I've ever done a John drop like this before. My mouth, I don't think I've ever done a John drop like this before

What would you think what were you yeah, what else was your thought process? When did you realize you messed up instantly? Which seems to be the case for me almost every time the moment that I mess up is the moment I realized I'm in deep water What I think what did you live in the moment I realized I'm in deep water. What, I think, what's good you live in the moment? Yeah. Well, you know, I've been talking about, right? Yeah. Like you make a rape joke and turns out someone just, oh, someone just got raped. Well, no, that's the, that's tough though, you know, if you think, if you think you know

who's around, I mean, yeah, you can't be tossing those out left and right, but sometimes you think you're in safe company, it's the, going back, it's the, where you're almost the victim of the joke as well. What was I supposed to do? Shaking a guy, shaking a guy's hand with many, he has two fingers. You know, you're not the fuck. Fuck. That's not your fault.

Oh, I'm saying, is it, is it in my mind? Was it just a non-sequitur? I don't know. You don't know. I think what happened is it, is it in my mind? Was it just a non-sequitor? I don't know. You don't know? I think what happened is I had noticed that she was good, and then I had not like processed it. And so I was like walking around.

I thought it was. So you didn't. So I was just on your, I think I just, yeah, I was just thinking about it. And then I just kind of out of the corner of my eyes, I was like, well, at least I'm not an idiot. And then as soon as I said it, I looked over and I was like, oh, that's real.

This is a real thing that I'm doing. Wow. So it was a reaction just around the... Oh, it was like a couple of seconds, it felt like two hours. What a chill. Till she started laughing. Yeah.

She started laughing. Historically, shocking. Shocking. You've probably never heard something like that before, ever. No, I've never had, no one had. So, well, it's just something good for the funniest. That nobody would say. So.

And what he should say, no one he should say. But you think about it, people are gonna be telling that story for a long time. She'll tell that story, you know, the other people will, will virtue signal about, you know, hey, they'll make up a bunch of shit they said to you after that and post about it. Yeah. I haven't made any new friends this weekend. You probably have enough.

Probably fine. I almost lost one point of weeding people out of my life. Bring this guy around. They bring take him home. We can clean house if you want. Here's a fun activity for you at home. If you have a wife or girlfriend, see if she thinks that she could lift a car off of you or your children. Oh, you mean the superhuman strength in cases of extreme crisis? Yeah. What do you think, Sean? I think if one of your microphones was under a car or something, you'd lift it off.

No. What about your guitars? Yeah, one of your... What if something you really loved? I don't think I could... Do you really love anything? I mean, I'm thinking not because I don't think I could lift a car.

I would, really? Are you sure? I mean, I'm thinking not, because I don't think I could lift a car. I would, really? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Having you heard about how, pretty sure like my joints would break or something would tear loose from a bone bone. Yeah, I mean, muscle. Yeah, like a ligament would rip off.

Like I pull my back, putting my seat belt on, sometimes taking too hard of a shit. Yeah, well, give me back problems for a week, but you got crack your back real nice Yeah, women need women need a foot rub 20 every day 27 hours a day whether they've even walked or not yet They are under the year ever First that's the first woman out of a coma. How do you feel? It's like could you rub my feet? Why is that First, that's the first, a woman out of a coma. And how do you feel? I was like, ah, could you rub my feet? I'm not sure. That's why is that?

Every single woman, I think, I would like to see this done as a survey. You ask them what you would do if their kids were trapped under a car, right? They will tell you, well, yeah, just I would lift it off of them. You know, you know, that's an established fact that you get superhuman strength, strength, and that you can lift a car.

What did this conversation come from? Where else would the 80s growth launch you could lift a car off of? But what about the question is, I mean, though, the girl didn't like lose her leg under a car, did she? Oh, wow. Because I mean, that would get, somebody thought they could lift the car off. Yeah, yeah. Mom thought she could lift the car instead of calling the police.

She's wondering about it. I got this. Yeah, I got this. I read a news, I can't have spinach and just went at it. No, did you, I remember hearing this one in school, that like the mind is so powerful, a guy fell asleep in a refrigerator and then he, the next day he, he froze to death and here's the thing, it wasn't even plugged in. Oh no.

Do you think I have heard that? I heard that from a teacher at school and I believed't heard that one. And I believed it until thinking about it now, just remembering it. And I'm like, why would you say that? Why is this person allowed to be around children? That's preposterous. What are you talking about? Freezing yourself to death with your mind.

He probably died of lack of oxygen. You know what? It didn't happen. None of that happened. None of that story happened. Here's the happen. None of that happened. None of that happened. Here's the secret. None of it happened. Like lifting a car off somebody. I never had.

So ask your wife or girlfriend and then make fun of her. That's a fun activity for you. You know what else makes me rage pandemic movies? Wow. I'm really fucking. I never want to hear about a pandemic ever again, ever for the rest of my life. Yeah.

Who wants to watch a movie like you just in the series. I got stuck watching that stupid sweet tooth movie about that. About the trees. Oh, is that about the pandemic? And that's everything. Sure enough, a free-hand of virus came out of nowhere. Like, you gotta be who is fuck forever, though. Who is fuck wants to watch this? This is it.

This is the rest of our lives. We'll never see a piece of media ever again that won't be like, do you ever think about 2020 or whatever fucking year it was? Yeah, remember good times. Good times in 2020. Every award-winning actor will have do-do along, like, satch monologue, like, into a camera. Is it like, Bo Burnham's thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see that? It looks way too

pretentious. Yeah. I like it. You liked it? Okay. What are you gonna do? Lockdown trauma, causing five year olds to suffer panic attacks. I don't doubt it. Let me see where this is. Forecasts seen by the telegraph state that an extra 1.5 million children and young people will require mental health support. Is this in the UK? It has a direct, yeah. They have less kids than us, right? Oh, yeah, no, it should be more here. Yeah, we don't have NHS. So our kids are not getting mental health. There's a lot of this. This is also for Ritalin. A direct impact of the pandemic during the next three to five years reports the teller, the calculations from the center for

mental health involving blah, blah, blah, the demand will be as much as three times greater than the capacity of mental health services. That's ever been an article like this where they've just been like, the demand will be about the capacity. We'll be fine. We have exactly that many hours of about it. That doesn't really, I mean, who wants to read that?

Yeah, the kids are sick, but you know, fuck them. They get sick. That's what happens. That's what happens. You know, we built a hospital for that. So we're well equipped to it. Or are we just assuming that it's impossible to predict anything? I don't know. And what happens if they don't get it?

They're just all going to know they just become podcast hosts and comedians. Yeah. The hotel. What's the deal with 2020? They're broken. All these kids are fucked beyond, beyond, beyond saving. Well, I don't know about that. What is, that's pretty dire. What does a mental health can do?

Let's send, send your kids off, send them to school, or they learn about how they could have superpowers if they're kids. If they're trapped under a car. Yeah. This is a thing. How many people do you think that? Probably what more than percent of people think they lived a fucking car. I mean, one is too much. One is too much. Now you can't. And now we have 1.5 million young people require mental health as a direct impact. Yeah, what do we do with them? They're just going to be, they're going to live in fear forever.

Well, I guess totally broken and destroyed. Does that just become the new normal? Don't ever say that. The new normal. There's another one. Now we're all. The new normal. The new kids are broken and stupid, but that's just who we are.

Let me see if I had a clip here. Panicked. Oh, yeah. Panicked five-year-olds, scared of play dates. Five-year-olds are suffering panic attacks about meeting their friends. Well, it's because a lot of this is like the parents put all their fears into the kids. So that's, I mean, you can, that happens in non-pandemic times too. Right. It's just, this is a much, obviously

higher instance for obvious reasons because the parents are afraid. So yeah, man, no, I mean, it's how you're for, I mean, that follows you. It's very hard to, it's very hard to overcome a lot of that stuff. And we don't do that well here, but maybe over there, I don't know. I don't know what kind of mental health services they have, but yeah. How could they, it's just a guy in a room

that you go talk to and he's like, oh, you freaked out. That's too bad. That sucks. You want any drugs? Yeah, right. You want any legal drugs? Would you like to watch a movie about the pandemic? Yeah, I like to watch a movie. One of these movies about the pandemic,

would you like to relax and unwind with? Would you like to, would you like to tune in to Amarance or whatever? Give them some, or you give some imaginary friends. They're safe. That's called only friends. Oh, imaginary friends. Uh- safe. That's called only fans. Imaginary friends. There you go. Uh-huh. Okay. I got only fans news too.

Oh yes. Yeah, only fans is pivoting away from pornography. Didn't it start? What? It wasn't the original point to not be pornography. Oh really? Well, but everything is the race toward pornography. And it took off because of the pandemic.

And they're like, well, fuck it. That's what we do now. Well, what makes money seeking a billion, a billion US valuation, a 40% increase since, since pandemic really, only if I just get a 40% increase since 2020. Holy shit, we just made, we made a, we made a lot of whores. This has made a lot of horse.

This has made a lot of, this has really cranked out, cranked out the horse. Just the upside. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. It wasn't so bad after all. I mean, the kids are, that was a look on his face. So you know what?

Worth it. But the not safe for work image tied to only fans has made it difficult to acquire funding aside from making it easier to lock down advertisers. Only fans, oh yeah, well that's good luck. I guess that's the future though. A bunch of paid friendships, right? Like you don't show the pornography.

The new normal. The new normal. Most of the chicks on OnlyFans need to be wearing clothes too. Oh, there. Oh God. Have you seen any, did you see the OnlyFans leak? You know, I'm most of the chicks on only fans need to be wearing clothes too. Oh, there. Oh, God. Have you seen any? And did you see the only fans leak? Only fans league leak leak leak.

Are they leaked out all the news? No, no, no, no. All the content. I really? I poked around. Even though I acted or something. Someone acted. I poked around, even though it's morally reprehensible.

I know, but we've had that that. That's it. You know, everybody's just like everybody's going to do it. I think we've everybody settled that with like Jennifer Lawrence I was the big yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean one of that happening or something. Yeah, the fapening. I looked at it It's really you shouldn't look at it. It's disgusting really. Oh, I think about starting my only fans What was it gonna be probably just pictures of my butthole? It's like an on-geter.

There's very nothing clad to be a bit. There's not even gonna be like no puns, just real zoomed in called the asterisk. How do you know what's yours? You don't. I thought you said no puns. Oh shit, you're right, I blew it already. Wow.

Yeah, I want to do it. And immediately, immediately. Let's see. Strippers, here's an article on strippers. We didn't see any strippers in Vegas. No, we didn't. You didn't. No, we. No time. Now we've fought in hotel lobbies instead of seeing strip rings. What day was this fight in a hotel lobby? I mean, what is time? Right, really. The second day. Yeah. The second night. Yeah. Yeah. What was it about? What started it?

Second night. Yeah. Yeah. What was it about, what started it? Well, I think it started because I'm an idiot. Yeah, I don't know how to answer what started it. No sleep. I need to do ziasm too much fun. Yeah, I have this thing where if I get to,

if I'm too out of it, I will just find a way home. Yeah. I'll dig a hole in the ground like a malamute and just bury myself. If that's what it takes, but I'm getting home when I start getting wild. Right. I don't think you have that thing. It's in me.

No. It's a real need to be taken. It's a problem. Here's strippers. Here's my stripper nose. Let me pull this up. Is this Texas governor Abbott? He's from Texas, right? I think so.

I see. Governor Abbott signs a bill that now requires strippers to be 21. Wow. Right? Yeah. Wow, right? I mean, I mean, 18. 18.

So you can vote, you can go to war. You can go to war. You can become a crippled stripper the part here that But you cannot but you can't take your clothes off Yeah for money, right you could go to war you could drive a tank Yeah, you as an 18 year old man can be shipped to China or the Middle East or wherever. We'll give you a, we'll give you a Trans-Surgery

and give you Pink Hair and ship you off to the desert at our new work as our new woke army. But then if you get back, you can't pay another 18-year-old to take her clothes off, but they're clothes off for money. Is that, is that amazing? So this thing went through legislation and he just signed it into law. Yeah, no, no problem doing so on Monday afternoon, general, general grab it.

Is that right? Signed into law, uh, Senate bill that requires those working at sexually granted. Right. That must be a missbilling. Is this a fake news site? This is a real news. Looks like a real news site. I heart.com. That's I heart radio. I mean, it's got. And taxes. Last month, the group of former of former strippers lobbied lawmakers to raise the age to 21 because they say those who work at sexually oriented businesses are given alcohol and drugs. That's why I sure would hate for someone to get alcohol and or drug. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know what else they were given. Their dad's dick.

That's what else they were given with their own dad's. I mean, is this a law that didn't exist? That's racist. Yeah, it didn't exist. So like before, there was no law about how old you had to be. No. They didn't like go up it up. 18.

I mean, I feel like something to like someone might forget to write some things down in Texas. Because I say those who work, it's sexual. Here's why, here's at heart, why blah, blah, blah. So twisted, you're old enough to vote in elections and serve in the military, but in Texas, I guess that's not working anymore. Like we can't say you're old enough to serve in the military and that's enough.

I guess not. For some reason that let's just make the age of consent 40. Okay. So the young women can't compete with old, anybody, spinsters or whatever. You're not allowed. There's no way. Let's just make it totally impossible for men to see any women under the age of 40 naked, whatsoever.

You gotta see this stripper, she's 42. She's 42. Oh my God, beautiful. Loosen all the right spots, right? Worked in. She really gets some flying. Looks like she could lift a car. Probably has. Cause we gets some flying. Looks like she could lift the car. Yes, probably has.

Because we live in hell. Sean, that's what I'm saying. Well, good for Texas. None of them are grandfathered in. No, let me see what I have. So if you're 20 right now, this law passes and you're out of a fucking job until the end of the year. You're out of a job. It's just fucking people. This one just makes my fucking phobia hurt.

Rooted in racism. Here's a heath of lump. Can you believe that she would post this on so close to Juneteenth, Black Friday? Yes, I can't. I celebrate every year on Friday. This is exactly, this causes, this causes so much trouble online.

This fat, an insusowite woman is that. That's so many. What do I, what nuance and subtle take on? But it's like, please. Sentries old problems does she have? I think every marginalized group has got to get together and go, please stop. Let's have a national stop. National, fuck, you are a fat woman.

Day. No. Fat white women. Yeah got national Hey, hey fat white women. Well, you just shut the fuck up today. Yeah, have you seen a fat white Everyone signed every marginalized community man minority including men because we're a minority statistically, right? I believe we are slightly slightly oh well. Yeah, I don't know about China. Maybe throws that off, but statistically right I believe we are. I get it. I get it. Slightly slightly. Oh well yeah, I don't know about China. Maybe throws that off, but a national foot.

Let's watch it. Let's watch this. Oh why not? Green haired. Mm-hmm. This green monster. Is her like shirt like are those feathers? Looks like some sort of boa.

Yeah. Just wear t-shirts. Yeah. We're boa? Yeah. Where are T-shirts? We're a trash bag. What are you doing? Why are you? Are your feathers decorating a trash bag? Here you go. Here's your reminder that fat phobia is rooted in racism.

As always, if you haven't read this book, go do that. Black body. The main thing to understand is that for the last 300-ish years, white folks have been marketing fatness as a black trait. And this is regardless of whether or not black people individually were actually fat. That was irrelevant. The message they spread was that black women specifically were ravenous and uncontrollable, and these barbaric traits made them fat.

On the flip side, thinness was marketed as a white trait. I've never heard any of this. Again, this is whether or not individual. This is what fat women actually believe. Ding, ding, ding, ding. The idea was that white women specifically were refined and restrained and this led them to having delicate thin bodies. Over the years, these messages have come. This is a burst of beauty.

Today, there's still very prevalent in conversations around race, health, capitalism, and poverty. Here's your room. People's brains are this Swiss cheese. Everyone's been quantum- leaped into hell. And are now living in worlds full of, a world's full of morals that they've created entirely. Is she in the early, like her own mic? She's holding a diabetes tester.

When it starts beeping, it's breathalyzing her for diabetes. She starts screaming and then she's got to go, it alerts, it's breathalyzing her for diabetes. Yeah, it starts screaming and then she's got to go alert. It's a life alert just for fat people. It's a surprise. I have no idea. I have no idea if like 1% of that is true. I've just never, I've never heard it. It's like people are so quick to just think of black people as being fat historically.

I've never heard that before. I've never heard that before. I've never thought that. I mean, historically, the, historically, the fatest fatso in the world is the kid. Probably average. Oh, oversized today. Yeah, yeah. Like the, like these, if you go to the circus 200 years ago and see the big pay five cents to see the fatdest like 180 pound woman, right?

Yeah, it probably is like yeah you who is not fat. It's probably a probably a two XL today. Yeah, ridiculous. So you guys want to do like a book club and read this book? What was it? Oh, black body. Black body. Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe learn something. Good for you, ma'am. God, let's see what else. Congratulations. I've got... Oh, yeah, this is a good one. Banks decide who gets to run for office. Financial blacklist.

You know, like won't happen to me. Right. Wells Fargo shuts down a GOP Senate candidate, Lauren Witsky's bank account. Oh, I found Welles Fargo's response is, well, this is someone running for Senate, you know? Yeah. You know, the Senate, right? Yeah, right. But she already been, like, is she a legitimate, like, political candidate or is she just

a matter? There's no such thing as a legitimate political candidate. What's the difference here? Difference is if you got laughed out before you got elected. Yeah. Those people who, you know, 10 years ago would have been laughed out or now lauded and celebrated. Now they're not running the country. Wells Fargo is not, this is what they said, Wells Fargo does not consider political views

or affiliations in making account decisions as a wrap. So is a liar. It says a lot, professional a liar, says a lot, a psychopath, and a liar. An account may be closed for a number of reasons based on individual facts and circumstances. You know, like how three of my accounts were closed for money laundering, and then I was globally blacklisted by MasterCard. So there's nothing to do with anything. It's just individual circumstances. While we cannot discuss the customer accounts because they involve confidential customer,

thanks for looking out for me. Thanks for blacklisting my ability to participate in the economy, but at least you didn't tell people, at least you didn't tell people what my home address. At least you didn't divulge what's in the white pages. Thank you for, thanks for protecting, thanks for protecting me. Can't work, can't make any fucking money, can't run for, can't participate in not only

the economy, but the political system, the system of autocratic, I can't participate in government because I can't run a fucking campaign without a bank account but at least but at least you didn't embarrass me by telling people why right thanks so much uh while we cannot discuss because we got because i convened confidential customer information we can report that we have reviewed this situation and it was handled appropriately. Is this, uh, this is just, I got another reason. I will never tell us. This is a, this is a, a democracy where banks, one of seven, get to decide who gets to run for office. And then social media can glamour it, which are 99% run by Democrats get to decide who

gets to run their campaign online. Like that. And then the existing government gets to decide who gets to go outside, right? So your ability to communicate with people's entirely locked down and controlled by the internet, the internet controls who gets to be on it. And then if you want to fund that, the banks who are the Federal Reserve, who run the government, who get to run for often. The only, the only answer is only fans. The only answer is where like every that's where all like underground, you know, campaigns and businesses are going to be done.

Yeah, that's right. It's only for exactly started my campaign on only fans. We really do need, we need a golden whore to fix the system. Yeah. We need a whore that cannot be, we need something more powerful than the banks and the technocracy. It's gonna, that's the only way it's gonna work. Trump couldn't do it. It's gotta be a horror. The golden horror. It's gotta be a golden horror.

Yeah, that's it. What is that? What is that? What is that a reference to? Nothing. Well, a golden horror. It's gotta be, yeah. That's a new thing.

All right. Horror, you can't stop, right? Yeah. That's what I'm, like the war of Troy or whatever, fought over Helena. Exactly. Something like that. Yeah.

Just gonna start a war. Something like that over some random. Here's the one that I got. What time, how do I have another drink? Oh, the dog sleeping, wonderful. Hmm. You finally got the dog used to your yelling. Yeah, that's amazing actually.

She's comforted by it. Yeah, if she's not in here when I'm yelling, she starts freaking out. Yeah, while some dogs freak out when people, you know, they think, oh, I'm doing something bad or I'm, you know, this one goes to sleep. Yeah, it's perfect. Yeah.

Here's one. Here's one for you, Sean. Hmm. I pull this up. I got a stats for you. Mm-hmm. It says, if a professor a survey, just a nice survey so you know who your neighbors are. So when we do finally get nuked, keep this in mind. So you won't be sad. Don't be bummed out, right? If you...

Oh, I won't be. You're worried. Some people listening might be. Some people might be worried about Some people listening might be. Yeah. Some people might be worried about big cities in America getting nubed. Yeah. Not one of them, but some people might. If a professor says something that students find offensive, this is the survey, should that professor be reported

to the university? And offensive is not really defined, right? Well, I mean, to you. To, yeah, that's the definition. Yeah, so if it's said something offensive to you, even on behalf of someone else, it's offensive to you, right? Well, I mean, that's unfortunately,

yeah, people, I'm so offended. The first of us is a credit for that. Should this professor be reported to the university? I mean, this doesn't surprise me at all. Here is the survey, independent. The independent surprises me a little bit. I guess that it's that high. Okay, I'll read the stats.

Conservative leaning, self-identified conservatives say. 41% say yes. It sounds like your professor should be reported. You're a little surprised that that's, I'm surprised it's that's, it's that high. Because conservatives have to stop everything. conservatives have to stop everything. And I don't know how hard it is

to stop saying anything offensive. Here's the thing, because they're all racists. But here's the thing. It's true. It's funny. Here's the thing. It's everything is, everybody has a different definition of offensive. So everybody goes to what scares them or what offends them or what they don't like in

their dreams. Shit about God. They don't like their kids to hear. Yeah. So all of a sudden, you're right. You're right. Thanks for shoddened. Thanks for shoddened.

I'm just saying for me, shoddenedizing. So they're thinking like, if you're saying white people are all raises, then yeah, and let their cops sort of like example. Yeah, I think if it's for example, said this, would you report them also like from personal my work life, there's so many of these like organizations like internal HR like it is insane. I think there's four different like committees that you report to on diversity, equity, inclusion. It doesn't matter. Students says something of faculty, a person on campus, just visiting to drop off some letters. Is this an American school or a Western school?

In Abu Dhabi. They all have that. They're proud of it. Liberal, liberal self identifying liberals say if a professor says something that students find offensive, should that professor be reported to the university? 85%. Yeah, that's the one that just doesn't surprise me because there is such a broad swath of possible offensive. Everything is offensive to this sect of. But their professors are all liberal. Like, that's, it's even funnier because you got,

I know, but your professors liberal and you're liberal enough. Not liberal enough. Not liberal enough. And that's how it's getting. I've seen it. I've seen it happen. I've, as you know, I work in a very, very left industry. It has been for a long, long time.

Yeah. And there, the older generations do not understand how the younger generations are so offended by everything. Everything. Independence say 65% yes, should be reported. So right in the middle. God, damn, I think you're thank you. Oh wow. Oh Thank you honey. I really think kids are just I just got to start drinking Well Sean That's offensive. Hmm. Fend it me. Mm-hmm 85% wow good for you guys. Why am I the big one? Oh, there you go. Okay. Thank you. Were you the big one? Well, I don't know for a second

Let's get I was never drinking again and that lasted a less than six hours So man you'd have to for me to even consider So you would have to you'd have to say something like so out there that like I couldn't even that I couldn't even think it Like what could you possibly say? What could someone say? What could someone say? Yeah, say that would be so offensive, you'd want to like, wrap them out.

I would never. I don't know, man. I guess that, I guess that, only that idea. If somebody said, if you say something offensive, I'll rat you out. I think I should be able to rat you out to the military who will hang you. You just forfeited your life.

You're lying. I guess maybe if someone went on like a full-bore, crazy person rant and just like throwing stuff and like threatening people, well that's just kind of, that's a little different. Yeah, I guess that's assault. So you would have to go for a place and make a offensive to committing assault.

Yeah, it was a different kind of reporting. Yeah. Just leave. This guy's, I don't wanna hear what he's saying about. I don't get it. I can't even imagine it. Kids are fucked. Well, we're all fucked.

Here we go. Here's girls tricked into sex. I don't know if I need to read that one. Here, come lift this car. Oh, my baby is being crushed by this Ford Figo. Why do they believe that? I don't think. I don't know.

They can't even open jars. I think the best. Well, don't mess with Mama Bird or say, you know, mental. Mama Bird? You know, just like a mama animal, you know. A fair bird. Yeah, whatever. I've heard Mama Bird. I'm a bird. Yeah know, just like a mom and animal, you know? A bear bird. Yeah, whatever. I've heard mom a bird.

I'm a bird. Yeah. Like, you know, because birds are crazy territorial, especially with their kids. Like blue kids. They're tiny. You ever seen a bird lift a car?

No, well, the bird animals are in trouble all the time and their parents don't lift cars or fight, you know. No, they just make other ones. Yeah, they make other babies. It's way easier to make another baby than it is to lift a car. Right.

I think that's, yeah. It's one car. Could they do one pull up? Do you think if their kid was in, oh, that's, yeah, a double. Yeah, that seems actually in the, that may be, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Ask your wife. One pull up for sure less than 50% ask your Less than 80% she thinks she could lift a marker off of you girls do porn actor. Oh, they got a good oh They got another one. They got another one of us Sean. They got another straight man on one of us being straight. Okay All right, all right. Let's Roll that back a little. Girls, girls do porn actor recruiters sentenced to 20 years in federal prison, federal pound men in the ass prison

for tricking and forcing women to appear in sex videos. Oh my God, how did he, I read this. He did things like promising them, I have required victims to appear in videos by promising them that these videos would never be posted on the videos, would never be released in the United States, that no one knew, that no one in the women knew would ever find out about the videos. And by buying them one way plane tickets to Greenland, pressuring them to do the sex when victims expressed hesitation Garcia directed other young women to contract to contact the

victims and reassure them that the videos would not be posted online and that none of the victims' friends or families or colleagues would find out. If you don't do it, we'll turn you over to Cosby victims, friends, or families, or colleagues would find out. If you don't do it, we'll turn you over to Cosby. 20 years in prison for tricking. I don't know, you could trick someone into network of, like, why does he have a horse? I don't understand. There's like a, there's a second tier here of women who like,

hey, she's not gonna do the video. I need you to call her mom. And trick her. Like why is there a team of deranged tours? What is happening here? Women to do it. I know there you go 20 years in prison for tricking someone. Does that doesn't work out the army?

You can recruit, you can lie to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, army recruiters aren't going to. I don't think federal prison for going to. No, they're just getting more. They're getting bonuses, right? Like assigning bonuses for every. It's gonna be great.

Every young boy you convince to murder another young boy. Like a commission, yeah. You get 80 bucks. I'm just fucking horse shit. Oh, yeah, here we go. Once they're underway, Garcia and other co-conspirators threatened to sue the victims. Cancel flights home and post the videos online

if they did not complete the sex videos. Whoa, complete. Like they got halfway through and they're like, we don't wanna do this and they're like, you gotta, she's not. That's it. Hey, the other half on payment. Yeah.

Hotel room doors were at times blocked by cameras. Oh, these poor innocent girls. Thank God they're not allowed to be in strip clubs anymore. Well, we get something out of that. It sounds kind of shady though. Well, obviously, it's a dirty pornographer. About 20 years. Present from.

Huh. Whatever. All right. Let's see here. What else do I got? What is this grape soda? Grape soda horse? Just in time for Juneteenth. Trainer Bard in New York and other states for giving a horse a racist name.

Are you kidding me? I can't read this? Come on, I read it already. Do you pay for any of the New York times or anything like this? It's impossible to go to any of these fucking websites anymore, drives me nuts. Yeah, and then Twitter says,

whenever you try to retweet something, is are you sure you don't wanna read the article? I can't. I can't read it, because I'm not giving any money to these fuckers. Sick fucks. And it's suddenly like everyone's, you know, we're all the assholes because we're sharing like bad news sources.

Well, you're charging me $11 to find out about a horse name. So maybe fucking rethink your business model. The only way I can read any news is at info wars.com because I can't pay for, I'm not paying for any of this shit. What do I look like, Mr. Moneybags? Okay. Okay. I guess I can't pay for I'm not paying for any of this shit. What I look like, Mr. Moneybags. Okay, I guess I can't read it. A guy with a horse. The guy I'm in for naming his horse, Grape Soda. Just Grape Soda to fuck with a black announcer at the horse track.

Oh, he really did it for that reason? Yeah, he said it. Grape Soda. So you would have to call Grape Soda. Well, I mean, that's, of all the names that you're gonna name a Horace to mess with the black guy. Yeah. Feel like Grape Soda is kind of far, far down on the list.

Yeah. Of course names are weird anyways. Yeah. They're always something stupid. My favorite one was Huff-Harded. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let me read some comments. I got a little lost here.

I got a kid getting tasered too. Oh, yeah. Something about sex. Something about sex thing. Weird fetishes these days. Getting tasered while sexting. Yeah, here's a... It's something about how dark triad people are better at sexting.

Which is you to assume that, right? Yeah, I would assume sexting is just lies. No one enjoys it. Yeah. It's just entirely manipulation. Yeah. The trick is to manipulate yourself. Into sexting yourself?

Yeah. To sext yourself. To sext yourself. And then you have to run a phone number. And you have to worry about any women or... You can report this psycho. You have to worry about it at. So don't care about any women or report this psycho. Don't worry about it at all. That's the dream. Yeah. Not having to worry about my me with a phone, the soft glove, my blue screen. I find out where you live.

Has it just dinged? Yes. My oil up. That's the future is sexting with Indian men around the world. Right? That's a terrible visual. That's the view. The whole point is to not visualize it. No, that's the entire brainless, weird concept. Just to visualize something else. Yeah, but you can't, you know, you can't unsee certain things in your mind just like real life. Here's one. I know you'll like this one, Sean. I will. Yeah. Victoria's Secret is changing gears.

They finally got the memo that we're sick of men. Yeah. We're sick of catering to men. Sick of it. Victoria's Secret swaps angels for what women want. Will they buy it? Victoria's Secret is tired of catering to the male fantasy of buying retardedly expensive underwear and purses and crap that I just want to take off.

That's what they've been catering to the male fantasy this entire time. I know that's all I want is just to buy expensive underwear. That is weirdly fragile. That's weirdly fragile. I'm going to get in trouble for immediately because I've torn it somehow. That gets used one time that takes forever to put on that if I don't react exactly properly, I'm in trouble and I've ruined Valentine's Day. Classic, classic male fantasy of going to the mall and just, guys, you see guys with arm loads of Victoria's Secret boxes on their way, walking out of Victoria's Secret, ignoring, ignoring EB games, ignoring GameStop on their way back to the car because they're so fucking excited about all the launcher ray they just bought have you ever bought someone laundry

Oh god probably a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no me either. I got some weird leather shit. Oh cool. Yeah, I guess that's lingerie. I don't know. I mean That's but it's different. That's what that's the classic male fantasy where the average, the average woman's height and weight is the same as blast toys. And we just love to dress them up in a bunch of frilly ribbons and feather, and take them down to the fair and get a blue ribbon. We want them to look like mama birds. Yeah.

Yeah. It's my prize wagon, Polar. Classic male, the Embattled Banger A giant is attempting to the most extreme brand turn around in memory and effort not just to redefine itself, but the very idea of what sexy is. It's not what appeals to the male gaze. Sean, I don't know if you knew that.

David, how are they embatt Sean. I don't know if you knew that. How are they imbattled? I don't know because they're putting hot chicks on a little bit and everyone Everyone and people society's not gonna rest until they put all hot women into concentration camps That's what that's the end game the The end game, go ahead. And now I'm reporting you. No, I'm okay. The same is something of answer. I have it, you're describing a dystopia future, and I don't like it.

Yeah. That's the, that is the future. But this is just a bit, right? Like they're not, like they're like, all right, well, no one's really talking about Victoria's secret anymore. Millennials are horrified of soft fabrics. Yeah, Cosmo put aified of soft fabrics. Yeah. Cosmo put a bit of weekend on their cover. Let's do. How do we get in on this Twitter buzz?

Mm-hmm. I have an idea. Yeah, if you're not being talked about. Totally reject what we've been doing for 45 years. I don't know how long of these fucking Victoria's Secret been around. I don't know. I don't know, but it's decades. I just, I reject the idea that they were ever a male fantasy. No.

Honey, what can I get you at Victoria's Secret? Do they have beef jerky? Yeah, right. If the answer's no, then don't go there. Don't go there. Okay, here's your comments. Did it help? Blacklisted from American Airlines.

You didn't even show Sean the picture of the model. Is there a new model at the top? Wait, really? Yeah. So scroll to the right. Was a guy. Wait, what? It's a, it's a very serious, angry woman who's judging the size of your dick. Well, look at this case. This is the new, this is slipped down, weathered, a weathered phase. What the hell? This is the new toy that she could lift a car off of a baby. Probably. That should be, I like that. Olympics. That's the longest.

It was a trans baby. Yeah. The the woman's Olympics, or in a way, maybe it was a trans am. We put your baby under this car. Here comes the candidate team. His mothers are going to try to lift this car off of their baby. Nope. If you win that event, you get put on the weedies box, like the equivalent. Here you go. We just, it's a joke.

We just have all, all women go through it to try to lift the car. All right, here we go. Dead-hum. Blacklisted from American Airlines. Hey, Dickens, dead-hum. Here's the explanation of why I'm blacklisted from American Airlines. Okay, I have that up there. A couple of weeks ago, I flew back to California, but for my friends wedding and everything went

great. I spent the whole' wedding and everything went great. I spent the whole week drunk and high. Great, but here's where it all went wrong. I went through TSA with a gator on, no comments on my gator there at that point. What's a gator? I don't know. Is it a drug thing? I was asked to put a mask.

I was asked to put on a mask. My mask was covering my nose. Oh, like a gator mask. Like one of those neck. Oh, oh, oh, oh, right. Mask was covering my nose. And he asked me to press it tighter against my nose. Gross.

No, no. All people are bastards. It's all people are bastards. Yeah. That's really just, just check the box. He's checking the box. Just, just let's let everybody go on with our day. Let me see that cigarette case.

Open it up. Why? Fucking why? Why? Yeah. It's give it, you're the kid in the class asking for more homework. Yeah, back to that. Yeah, all the people are bastards. I was asked to put my mask on my mask every morning. Yeah, back to that. Yeah, all people are bastards.

I was asked to put my mask on my mask every morning. I asked him, he asked me to press it tighter. Correct. Against my nose than I did. Because he's, because he fucking loved science, right? He's there, well, he's making a difference. Yeah. I know how germs work.

You gotta press that gator up against it. I just don't want a man to ever say press it tighter against your nose to me. That's good policy. That's your first mistake. Good policy. That's a man to ever say, press it tighter against your nose to me. That's good policy. That's your first mistake. Good policy. That's a way to talk about it. Throughout the entire conflict,

all but one of the staff on board to play an extremely rude and disrespectful to me, I asked them to please calm down because I was complying and I asked them to, and they kept escalating the situation, but they kept the same angry demeanor. So I went into full anxiety attack mode. Now I'm on a no-fly list

because the employee was disrespectful and rude to me. Sorry for the grammar, I'm lazy. Your domestic terrorist fan, Dennyl. Oh, wow. You got kicked out. You got an airline. I guess, yeah. I mean, I wish you would have filled in the details more.

Not a good storyteller. Well, you know. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm talking hate American airlines. They have fucked to me every flight. Cosme to miss my grandfather's funeral. I had to sleep in Chicago Airport twice because they're like, oh, sorry, your flight's delayed. Yeah. Even coming out here to come see you guys got delayed twice. And I get to the Phoenix Airport at a little short layover there. And then we get on the plane and the guy's like,

oh, one of the engines doesn't work. So we can't run the AC, but we're waiting to fix the part. One, that's a fuck. Yeah. So we sit there for an hour and then we take off, do the flight, the secondary power system, still not works, we land. And then they come over the fucking, you know,

intercom and the guy's like, oh, the door's broke. We can't open the door. So everyone's sitting in this like hot tube, the door's broke, we can't open the door. So everyone's sitting in this like hot tube. Jesus. Fuck it, tarmac. It's American. Yeah, I've never had an experience with them. You know what, I would rather a man tell me

to push it tighter against my nose, thinking I'm fucking American. Yeah, but you'll do it. Cause to save five bucks. To save five bucks, yeah. To take the airline that killed my mom. Yeah, right? I'll do it to save five bucks to save five bucks. I'll take the airline that killed my mom. Yeah, right? I'll do it every time.

Why not? Gangronically, Hey, Dick, I'm the guy who made these patty sea cups weeky on Reddit. I'm listening to your show currently and you suggested that you try to find his father, a Patrick Michael hates his dad. You know what else I found out that pat C. Cubs served two years in jail. No. For beating up a minor.

When he was eight, yeah, he was over 18. He beat up an under 14 year old, apparently. Oh my God. And that gets you, and that gets you sent to jail to paint. Do you call him a cripple? I don't think so. I didn't read the whole report. I didn't call anyone a cripple.

I just said at least I was in the car. He said one only one of us is a cripple. Anyways, it was implied. Ah, that's, let's see. He hates his dad in an interview with podcaster, Delvin Cox. He made the comment that he loved to kick his father in the nuts. Delvin Cox. Gerly move kicking your dad in the nuts. Just wanna kick my dad. If I saw my dad, I would kick him right in the nuts. I'd pull his hair.

Yeah. I'd say that, I'd pants him. I'd kick him right in the nuts. Yeah, I'd pants him. I would hit him with my purse if I saw him. I'd say that said Patrick Michaels, oh, I don't wanna be that. His father abandoned his family

when Patrick Michaels around seven. Wow. The last mention of his father that I remember the revelation that they currently lived in the same city. Patty C. Cups also has a criminal record and was in prison for beating up a child under the age of 14. How about that? I think him and Maddox would go even better together.

Maybe. I mean, Maddox hates kids. They could beat up kids and then Maddox could make fun of, you know, whatever. Their blood splatter on the ground, you know. Well, he would like Maddox wants to beat up a kid and he's done it. So he could kind of live vicariously through him. I don't know. Patty C. Cups has done it.

Yeah, Patty C. Right, right, right. I want to lawsuit. Yeah. Absolutely don't know. Paddy Seacups has done it. Yeah, Paddy Seacups. Right, right, right. I want to lawsuit. Yeah. Um, all right, let's see here. Seated wipe logistics. Front to back. Jackson building.

Just in case anyone hasn't wrote or called in about this, the Seated wipe is accomplished by leaning forward and using a point on your hamstrings and the toilet seat as a fulcrum. This creates ample space for a hand and arm to reach in and wipe from front to back. The shidor rests the balls of their feet on the ground, but the heels are lifted. I'm not quite sure how this factor is in, but I found that it was harder to wipe sitting down when flat footed. Yeah. Well, okay.

Well, I guess that explains it. I think it's a method that works for short people because the legs of a tall person would be uncomfortably long for this method to work. Yeah, that I want to see. You want to see a tall person white wipe their ass. The distribution is all me white my ass. Page. I had the Dallas show. The door was a lot. I was in the bathroom. The door was unlocked. I was in the bathroom. I forgot the door. Oh God.

I got bamboozled into looking like a jackass. Yeah. The moment. Oh, you remember? Yeah, I guess everyone probably does. I almost had a heart attack today at Starbucks. When I locked the door and it wouldn't lock. Like, what do you mean?

You locked the door. Well, it's got, it uh, what do you mean, you locked the door? Well, it's got, it's not on your car. The little in the bathroom, it's Starbucks. Oh, oh, I was taking a shot at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Half way home from Vegas and I hit the door lock, but it's not enough. Like that little tiny,

like the screw. Well, homeless people are strong. Yeah, it's just this, like a millimeter press that kind of gives out a little like pup. That's not, it does not give you a secure feeling that someone's not going to kick the door in at any moment, looking to shoot up in the Starbucks restroom after they advertise that they're the homeless capital of the world. Perhaps something little, you lived in Hollywood, you know what Starbucks are like in Hollywood? Yeah.

I need a vault. I need something bigger. I don't care what the mechanism is, but I need something bigger to whatever they use and get smart. Yeah. Um, rage, federal holidays. Hey, Dick, I got a rage for you. Federal holidays.

So June 10th is a new federal holiday. Good. June didn't have one before. And you know, I don't care about whatever silly reason we're celebrating it for. We're celebrating the end of black employment as a result of government lockdowns. Are we not celebrating that? It's all made up anyway. I mean, who cares about President's Day, right? No, my problem is that it's on a fucking random day of the month instead of the third Monday of June,

like a normal federal holiday. The union set it up that way decades ago, so that you would always get a three day weekend and it wouldn't mess up the schedule with floaters if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday. Fucking hell, in 1850 it fell on the third Monday, so it's not even a historical. But instead, we're stuck with the 19th,

no matter what day of the week it falls on. Yeah. So if it's Sunday, you're fucked. Yeah, like, you know, it's the idea that people are going to play with the same thing. Like, Labor Day is always a Monday. Yeah.

Like, you know, like it should be. Yeah. Is the idea that we're like closing banks down and, and, I mean, new June holiday. That's it. It doesn't make this, you know, in the new cycle where I'm hanging out these days. Oh, yeah.

Call it Emancipation Day or Buck Breaking Day. I could give a round. Don't call it that. Did you look into that buck breaking? I was talking about. Yeah, there's like no historical context for ridiculous. Yeah. It's ridiculous and gay. Like he's fantasized. He's built up this fantasy

that shitting black men were raped by a feminine gay men to such a degree. I read an article by a guy who's a pretty homophobic. He cited. Yeah, it is. It actually is. Yeah. There was just themselves and they have to like run around and just commit recklessly and it's right. We commit rape crimes. Sex crimes. That's right. They're so fat.

Yeah. Wait. And then what else did you find about Buckbrick? No, no, just that it seemed like a very like thoroughly knowledge of all. I mean, yeah, I mean, certainly, you know, anything can happen once, you know, I mean, definitely haven't at least once. But as far as anything, anything approaching a practice or a concept, absolutely not.

Why would you? Does he think that they did that with other animals that they had on the, like they looked at them, you know? I don't know. It was a couple guys who had a huge majority of the slaves, right? Because it's like the very, the very, very most wealthy had like a couple of people had like one or two. But then I mean the plantation guys had tens of thousands, 10,000, right? Thousand. I guess. Yeah. It's a lot of raping. Right. To be doing. Right.

He need to hire a staff. Yeah. Of rapist. Right. And it's probably like a vaccine like you got to get a booster every yeah, just broken forever. I don't know. Oh, right. It grows back. So you got a. Now we can now we're getting tricked. Now we're about now is about to say, well, how does breaking a horse work? So now I'm like, not like Ray, not like Ray. Breaking a person, the whole point is that people, what is he saying here? No, my problem is that it's a fucking random day of the month instead of the third, yeah, yeah. I get a mathematician to write says,

but now I have to go program in another pesky floater to all my models tomorrow when everyone in the office gets off because I happen to be It was a little rushed to it was like Juneteenth and tomorrow Got you Whatever I'm glad we have it You're right again David Gomez says you're right again if this somehow makes it the show you can say you can say my name Thank God this is Gomez from the California Bay Area. Too many times someone seems to be making a good point,

an even taking legal action, like not being forced to take the vaccine, to keep your employment, like in the video attached, but shoots themselves in the cock by comparing it to the Nazis, or the Holocaust, it's just unreal. How eager people are to say, well, this is exactly what the Nazis like.

No, really, no shit. Is it, well, you know, it's a little different. Just probably subtlety and degrees again, or they're not things. This is much worse than the Nazis. Yeah, that's where, that's how you go with it to put it into that conversation. Yeah, let's just up it. Well, we're kind of saying that you're kind of saying that you're kind of saying that a little bit.

You want to go full stupid or can we just by saying it's like, this is what the Nazis did. You're implying this is what the nicest and is happening to you. So you're saying it's worse. Yeah, I just, you know, it's even worse that because now you're making me come up with the details. Like how it, you know, I got a fucking, now I'm the guy who's saying about Nazi shit. That's true. Like, just see it explicitly. Lay it out. Make your argument or fuck like, don't make me come up with a joke for you. I don't like it. Once again, a good point being made or starting to be taken

seriously, then promptly ruin. Like the circumcision guy. Oh, do you say that was a Nazi thing? No, like the certain, then he's all of a sudden he's railing against, you know, remember the, talking about this is a long time ago, I think the Larry on and stuff and all of a sudden the guy's railing against the Jews and all that. Oh, God. A lot of good points. And here we go. Now, off to the races. Test. Just shut the fuck up. Um, starting to be taking to the government, comparing a tyrannical time in the past to now. Stop comparing shit to the Nazis. Retards will never take that as a good example.

That's very true. Uh, go fuck yourself. I love the show. I'm plowing through the backlog of shows. I'm one hour each way commute every day. Oh, perfect. I'm today. Thank God.

Everyone's back to work. Now we can all sit in our cars and hate our everything. Listen to everything. This podcast. Well, now everyone's back. Go back to work. Go sit at your desk and do what you know is a four-hour job and eight hours and go on Friday for no reason

because everyone was too much of a pussy to put their foot down. Let's see here. Angry about measurements. because everyone was too much of a pussy to put their foot down. Let's see here, angry about measurements. Bitter, I'm so tired of hearing people shit on the imperial system for being less accurate. People seem to be under the delusion that you can't measure inches and decimals. You only have to use 16th.

You can measure shit and decimals. I fabricate for a living. I'm excited. I'm expected to hold tolerances of point of three inches, plus or minus if I ever see anything in 16th, it's rare and generally not a super critical measurement. How long my tapes read top half 16th and bottom and decimals,

hundreds for the first six inches and tens of the rest. Get a goddamn engineer, scale type, if you need that exact of measurements, people don't. Most people don't. I get so mad when people who don't work with measurements tell me about how inches are accurate. It's just as accurate, but the imperial system has an advantage of being based around humans.

Most thumbs are about an inch wide on a man. Fuck metric and fuck the French, also fuck you. What do you think about the metric system? I mean, why is this kind of one? We had a big argument about the metric system. We did? No, no. I was like, just so I don't remember that.

Okay, when I was gone, I know some people are, are you thinking, some people have like real fucking feelings about that. It's like, I don't know, man, like I kind of, I kind of think there's room for both, I don't, you know?

Like, are you living with this is the sort of thing that you had to deal with. Like, more accurate, it's just fucking numbers. Why are you stressed about it? Why do you think you need to convert anything to any, have you ever converted it? Ever into later to a,

that's why the first Mars over though, that blew up and crashed on the planet. Yeah. They blew it. They did not convert it over from a period of to metric when it went between the two places. So that was internal though. Yeah, I was internal in the US.

Let me see if anybody wants to call. But are people out there saying that you can't use decimals for, I don't know, I think someone say, this feels a little, I keep turning my face to look at Sean, sorry about that. No, you're fine. It feels a little bit of a forced issue. Yeah, 0.003.

They're absolutely not for the the metric system. The metrics is I don't know. I think it's probably easier to teach. I mean, I've tried to try to teach, yeah, such as an easy kind of like I taught high school kids for a while and like a just like a technical like a scene shop kind of thing and it would be surprised. You'd be shocked at how impossible it was for them to understand like fractions. Oh, I think a high school kid, just it would their brains would just kind of shut down the book, how is it half?

I'm like, how do you not know the fucking concept of half? Why are we teaching them anything? What is the, I mean, what is the deal? They all have, you know, mental health issues anyway. So let's just, I think critical race theory is good to teach in schools. Math didn't work. Math is, well, it's never been worked. Not working. I mean, what are we going to, we've got an army of, we've got an army of deranged 20-somethings that we've got a couple years to teach them how to teach other people. Yeah. All we can you can, just be as emotional as possible and go in there and spew nonsensical,

subject of bullshit. Just use a lot of words, let them, you know, people kind of come hardwired and just let them figure it out on their own. Yeah. I'm for that. Urgent advice. Here we get some advice. Urgent advice.

Dick about Dick. Hey, Dick, please call me missing inch instead of my name, thanks. Hey dick John, I have a big problem that my name is off. So do you have a little problem? I've lost an inch when I started dating my last ex-girlfriend, I sent her a dick pick with my cock over the top of a PS2 game she liked.

Little erotic. Valentine's Day. Interesting. That's what Victoria's Secret needs to get into. Yeah, Dick. Yeah, Dick lingerie. Yeah, Dick lingerie. This was over seven years ago. Okay. My dick easily matched up with the spine over how many seven years ago? Seven years ago. My dick easily matched up with the spine, which measures about seven and a half inches. Well, you've been with the same woman for seven years. Of course, you're lucky that you can find it.

I've been using that fact to easily get with girls. What? Is that how it was? That's a lie. And that's how you easily get with girls. I blew all weekend. I'm not getting with any girls because I just I'm not walking up saying, oh, yeah, well, my dick is larger than seven, but less than 30, whatever the number is you need.

I had been using that fact to easily get with girls. That's our metric. Yeah. Well, yeah, what he did, he did say inches. So, um, despite being under six feet tall for years, before I started dating that ex. Why would that be? So why doesn't every guy do that? Yeah, if it's so easy. And once you get your pants off, what do they do?

Women don't know the difference between one inches and you know, I can't throw an X-ray. Easily? What a weird hatchet. We broke up a few months ago, and while jerking off, I felt something was wrong. So I compared my dick to a phone and then to a ruler and found that I went from seven and a half inches to six and a half inches. It's been messing with my brain a bit as a full inch is the difference between above average. Dude, your brain is messing with your dick.

Yeah, you've been... I got news for you. He shrunk his dick. You have the power of your mind. The power of your dick. Yeah, yeah. Maybe his dick was under a car, and he had to shrink it to get it after him under the car.

Maybe. It's easy to do. It's easy. I'm sure some of it is because of my recent weight gain. Well, as your dick strength when you... Well, I don't know, is he measuring it from a different point? Like, as he says, fast. Start is like an inny now.

Like, he's not getting the base. It has to like break the surface of the sea. You know, and then measure. Why are you measuring your dick? Yeah, right. Stop! Stop! Who's that for?

Why would you torture yourself? I'm obsessed about it too. I mean, obviously. I only take IQ tests. Something's wrong with you. You're just taking IQ tests. I took an IQ test. Like, because school trained you to do that.

Yeah. I guess. No, my, the little Irishman was talking about a standardized test that he had to take in school. Yeah. You remember those, right? I mean, there all, you know. I said, what happens if you do, he was talking about it. I was like You remember those, right? I mean, there all, you know.

I said, what happens if you do, he was talking about it. I was like, what happens if you do good on the test? And he said nothing. Right. What? I said, that's it. That's the only question I had. Yep.

Nothing. Doesn't mean anything in your class. It's just a goddamn school trying to get more measure their own results. Yeah. Stressing you out. I'm sure some of it is because of my recent weight gain and I've decided to work on that,

but I feel like it's more than that. I somehow lost an inch. I used to think that all the myths about diets, plastics, and soy were all stupid memes, but now I'm worried. My question is, how can I go back to my old size? Well, you find a car. Yeah, find a car.

Yeah, tie your dick. Stuck under it. I have to grow your dick to... You're just a secret buddy. There was never an old size. Yeah. That has already been... That is the measurement size.

What the hell are you? They also, the PS2 games are now bigger. They are much. Yeah, that's the problem. Just find a make a ruler yourself that's 11 inches long. We'll call it. Or 10 inches long and then write 12 on one end. Cross it out.

Cross out the 10. So now it's out the 10, write 12. And cray on. Take a piece of paper. Get a, put your dick on it. Draw a line at the tip of your dick and write seven and a half inches Tattoo it onto your dick that you dick is this is a seven and a half inch dick dear user this dick is seven and a half inches Thank you for your time. I'm glad this was so easy Should I should I wear loose boxers and avoid soy

and other conspiracy foods? I already know I need to lose 20 pounds, but will that bring it back? Both my female and gay friends said, I may have just been not as horny when rechecking, but this has become almost scary. Yeah, are you like? It's a little harder.

You know if you're fucking, if you're fully hard or not, right? I mean, I hope he knows that. Who fucking, does anyone never know? I mean, it's a little harder to sleep at night over this. I don't need to grow my dick. I just want it back. Is this fucking for real? This can't be real.

No, it probably is. Thanks. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, it's real. We got people lifting cars. With their Dix. With their Dix. With their Dix.

Just doing a full car press. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Missing NGPS, I love you, Sean. Do you have any kind of Dix? Dix getting, is not growing your Dix because that's preposterous. It's getting your Dix back. Here's like, here's what I do know that like gaining weight

and all that kind of shit is always bad for male hormones. Oh, you think it's you think it's hormones. I mean, that's 20 pounds or I mean, that doesn't seem like much, but like, yeah, like, oh, really like you gained like a hundred pounds, like morbidly obese people. Yeah. That's anything that I've read getting fat is bad for for male. For sick. Yeah.

Hmm. I would I would suggest maybe getting over it. Maybe stop thinking about it. Think about it. Think about it. You're dick. That's gay. That's gay. That's gay. Well, you just try to imagine a dick that looks a little different than yours, but it isn't exactly yours. You're obsessing about a dick that's not yours. Might as well be sexing with an Indian guy. Yeah. I got news for you. You're gay. You're gay. I'm obsessively thinking about You're gay. You're gay.

I'm obsessively thinking about obsessing at dick that is not my dick and is bigger than my dick. I want a bigger dick than my dick. How can I get that? I can tell you can go on grinder. He wants an ex dick. Yeah. Pop on Grindr.

He wants his dick. Yeah. Yeah. Pop on Grindr. Pop on Grindr. You'll find that seven and a half dick. I want a seven and a half inch dick. I want a seven and a half inch dick. Um, you want to do it? Yeah. Pop on Grindr. Pop on Grindr, you'll find that 7.5 dick. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me.

I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me.

I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me.

I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. I want to find that extra inch to me. Well, let's go. Let's go. Look at it. And while you're at a while, you're fucking me, please think about how big it is or small it is to what and spend the whole time imagining a dick slightly different than your dick. But yeah, he needs a, what is this? Luke. Just the, if the nuke dropped tomorrow, it would be the happiest day of my life before I was incinerated by a, by a nuclear blast. Crypto and I ran. Hey, dick, please do not read my name. to stay in my life before I was incinerated by a nuclear blast. Crypto and I ran, hey, Dick, please do not read my name. I'm an Iranian listener.

Hey, how about that? I don't live there anymore, but I know it as home. You were talking about how I ran is the worst. Not as bad as America. I mean, shit on Iran and China, but I hate America. America is much worse. Okay. America fucks you slow. You China will put you in prison and say we're putting you in prison because we don't like you. America's the president to win the poll. Been fucking you over decades. America will say, we're not fucking you. Those, the bank

did it. Yeah. The bank will say, well, then we're just doing it because of insurance. No, then it's like, no, no, no, no, no, that is America. Yeah. America is not this separate thing from the banks and the elaborate system of getting fucked and never being able to look the guy fucking you in the eye, right? Saying, fuck you. Right. At least in China, you could stand in front of the tank and go, fuck you, run me over. Yeah. In America, you just get kicked in your balls in the dark and you say, who did that? Right. Right. It's like usually your kid.

Yeah. Yeah. You go, you're talking about how I ran as the worst and I couldn't agree more, but I realized electricity is super cheap there. So I was thinking of starting a Bitcoin mine there. I did the math and the power would cost me 50 cents, a kilowatt, if I do it legally. I talked to a guy about this and he says, there's also taxes on top, so they try to blow,

bone you dry, fuck them, I was thinking of doing it the right way, the right way never works out the way you want. Apparently if I do it legally, it'll be less than a cent per kilowatt. I want to hear your thoughts and nuggets of wisdom. Should I do it or not? Yeah, be a bad guy. America's done. Done. America has been permafucked into the dirt is being great reset as we speak. The only way, the only

way to survive in the new world is to be bad, which is aligning with Iran, China, whatever the bad guys are doing. This country is fucked. It's done. What were you going to say? No, I was going to say it's surprising how often I've said that like the America that we were promised or that we knew or read about is dead and it's not coming back. No, it's not coming back 40 years.

I don't think it ever. You don't think it ever. There was a brief period. What was the moment? What was the moment when it went bad? Probably monochole. That's a scandal. Yeah.

That's it. So he wants to do Bitcoin mining. That's in our man. Go for it. What's the worst that can happen? He spends a bunch of money and has no Bitcoin. Yeah, I can't get any worse than this. What to do with what do wife, a hoe?

Amazing. Big fans since around episode 90, something, I don't know. Also, don't read my name on the show if you do so. I'll do my best to keep it short. Guy, use a proton mail. If you're going to send me an email without this. Oh, because it's gonna have this name and this, or the... Yeah, it seems like it has a lot to you.

Don't just use a shitty email. Yeah. Temporary email, throw it out, done. I'll do my best to keep it short. Since February, my wife has been cheating on me. I'm 24. She's 26, five foot even, small tits, but a giant S, probably a hundred to a hundred

and five pounds. That's a lot of ass. She started fucking some six to skinny fat, metrosexual slur. She worked with at a retail store last year. In comparison, I was 170 at five six at the beginning of the We've got it going on with these people and the measurements Stop. Yeah, I think stop. That's the reason she's out fucking somebody else You walk the fuck time you walk by a mirror. You like take a photograph like measure it

Calipers out that's just for women. You're turning yourself, how women are? That's because they do that all day, every day. You're scrambling your own brains. What are you gonna say, Sean? Some guys obsess about things like, you know, they're dicksized. But yeah, but that's like another guy could be obsessing about germs or obsessing about, you know, whatever.

Like it's a, yeah, it's a fucking mental disorder. It's, I mean, it's got to be living in hell. Yeah. What is gonna happen to these kids when they grow up? What are the psychotic delusions that they're gonna have? The insane dysmorphia? We have a generation of kids that cannot socially,

that cannot function socially. I can't wait to see it. She wants to do, oh yeah, I'm 150 now after hitting the gym again. She wants to do the whole still be friends thing for some retarded reason, attention. I was down for it at first, but as the months have gone on, my hate for her has only grown.

I want her out of my life, but there's a slight problem. This is a kid. Right. That's a next, maybe open effect. If there's anything else, then it's not a problem. We own a house together. And even though all of my money, even though all the money used to get the house was mine, her name is on the title. That's right. So I'd have to buy her out and be able to kick her out. I'd probably spend around $9,000 at this point. Here are my options.

Save up money to get a divorce and get this bitch out. Or sell my house and move in with my mom. Pros of option one, she still changes in front of me. What? It's a huge priority shift. Okay. Giving me a nice look at her naked. Wait, dude, how am I supposed to take this shit seriously?

We still do a lot together and I can fake the whole being friends thing long enough to at least not feel like I'm all alone for right now. I live a minute away from my twin brother and my cousin who we work out with at his home gym, right music, get drunk together, et cetera. Measure Dicks, measure our Dicks. Cons, compare bench presses. Yeah. What do you bench? What are your numbers?

What do you bench? Cons. She's constantly lying to me about where she's going, what she's doing, even though it's all out in the open now. What the fuck are you doing with your life? I feel like giving her a bunch of money to kick her out is only going to hurt me. Well, yeah, it's money. It's your money. kick her out is only going to hurt me. Well, yeah, it's money.

It's your money. I mean, is he not hurt right now? Does it sounds like a really healthy life he's living? I'd probably, I think it's to see her naked, though. It's to see her naked. Only fans. I'd probably have to get a roommate while I stabilize my money after all this.

She changes in front of me and showers with me in the room, but it's not like I'm getting any action. And I can't really find a new girl when I have to explain that my wife might be home. Seeing the girl I married become this whore and stranger to me makes me want to commit to die. Hmm. Well, it's a pretty big con. Pros of option two, I can get a decent amount of money. I don't think we need to read anymore of this. Pros and cons, you've got on her, make her cheat, my mom, I have a great relationship,

my parents, too long ago. Should I continue to live with my horror wife until I can pay to kick her out or do I live with my mom and make money to put my life back together after this? Also, what do I even do on the dating scene when I feel like I'm ready to jump back in? I live in Southwest Ohio for reference. Thanks a lot, Dick. I've been relisting to your show during this time to keep me occupied. I started the biggest problem back in January. I'm close to getting caught up

on the Duk-Show. If you end up reading this and using it for the show, please email me or just summarize your thoughts. So I know what to do. Thank you and God bless from the greatest state in the union. What do you think? Obviously you should stay with a marriage,

a commitment you make in front of God. You know, just get to blow it off because your wife is from another God. And it's because it for a god. Right. You don't just get to blow it off because your wife is a fucking other god. And it's because it's financially unsafe. Right. I mean, why would you learn from it and grow together? That's what the vows are for. You'll be stronger for it.

Yeah. Said no one of sane mind ever. Well, I mean, you know, it started a life together and then just stop because your wife's fucking guys is still singer naked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you go out and fuck guys?

I don't know. I feel that her see you naked a little bit. Mm-hmm. Give her the old, see what, see if that worm can pull any fish. And what do you think, Sean, you get any advice for this guy? No, what you said. What I said. Very sarcastic way that she's, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Live with your mom. Yeah. What kind of loser lives with their mom? It's way. So it looks like I have a way cooler to live with your wife. Yeah. Who who doesn't respect you at all. Right. You could do that. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one way. That's one way to handle it. Yeah. Sounds like it. Familiar. Yeah, it gets fucking in this fucking shit as quick as you're 24 years old. You got, idiot. Sell your house now, sell it right now. Just sell it, move in with your mom, wait for the house.

Wait for the market to crash and then buy a new house. Buy the same house. All right, everybody. This has been the Dixiel. Patreon.com slash the Dixiel is here next Tuesday. Let's do some voicemails. Oh, man. Oh, wait, I got a song.

I got a song I use. Sweet. Divorce. Does anything make you, divorce makes me a bit of a rage. Oh yeah. Yeah. You wanna talk about that?

I don't know what is there to say. I'm getting the divorce, Sean. Are you? I actually kind of wondered. I was like, is there somebody with you last time? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know. Someone decides they just don't want to live with their spouse for a year. Yeah. And then sleep with other people. Did you write that letter? I may have written that letter. Except I want to mention my measurement so much. Oh, yeah.

Do you know your measurement? Do you know how much you weigh? I have no idea. Fatter than I was when I got here. America is great in that regard. Yeah. Lots of junk. Fence and time in the Midwest.

Yeah. I fucking hate. The mid, it's just, you have to pack the food down. Yeah. Do the South, the South would, is it worth? Well, no, I'm just saying the South would get me so fucking fat.

Yeah. It's like, it's not that I don't eat, it's like, I can't get that food here. Yeah. Not like they have it. Oh, really? No, it's like they, biscuits and gravy.

My grandmother keeps making me biscuits and gravy. Yeah, there's just, just the, come over for breakfast. I'm like, all right, I will, but. It's so good. It's like, I'm lucky I can't get it here. Water, yeah. Fat, it's just just a come over for breakfast. I'm like, all right, I will, but it's so good. It's like a lucky I can't get it here. Yeah, fat, it's incredible. Yeah, my grandma kept saying, we'll come over for breakfast.

Eggs, bacon, business gravy, every morning for like a week, yeah, 6,000 calorie breakfast. Jesus. And then some friend of mine from college or high school or whatever, you know, oh, you're in town, let's go get, let's go get text mix.

Let's go get, let's go get takeout text mix, enchiladas and queso dip and all this shit. You're eating it. What else are you gonna do? Get a hobby. All right, this is take on Sean from Alex Walker Smith, here you go, then we're gonna do voice mail. Oh God. Sean went away.

I don't know what I'm to say I'll listen anyway. I know Dick will have veto tried to replace you, but it's just not the same I'll be waiting for you to return so take on me Take me home Sean is gone Oh, he could do That's very relaxing This guy's pretty good. Yeah, he is. He's said in things before.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. To hear the old mumble in a way. Slowly learning that song was the reason. It's actually really good. The original is more poppy, right? Oh yeah. Is the original more of a poppy like Spanish?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm an emo shit. Yeah. A gritty reboot of the song. Great. Take me home. Oh.

Shining. It's gone. For a week. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Shawn is gone for a week. I just make you feel, Shawn. It's guy saying the song to you. Yeah.

This is less gay than thinking about it. Dict is not yours in a bigger. Yeah. Right, true. My dick's getting bigger all the time now. Huh. Like right now? Right now. Right now. Huh, like right now? Right now, right now.

Okay, right, yeah. Not harder, just longer, and faster. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, and flatter. And... He looks like a ruler. Yeah. Why is this guy so obsessed with his dick?

What dick? I don't know. He mixed. He mixed it. He mixed it. He mixed it. He mixed it. He mixed it. He mixed it. He mixed it really well too. He only said things that I'm already thinking so what can I learn?

I'll be listening to the show anyway so So anyway, so tasty, come on me Tell you that I could make me alone Songs making me feel good I was depressed about the state of the country Right, and the nuclear bombs that I want to rain down on it And now I feel just about to say to the country, right? And the nuclear bombs that I want to rain down on it. But now I feel good about it. I would love, I love that the banks get to pick

who runs for office. That's hilarious. Well, someone needs to. And obviously, we're idiots. Let's go. We're idiots. Yeah, I don't want to vote for that bitch whenever she was.

She should even have a nice suit. Was it Obama like a one-term senator? President? So, you know, not like she could have done anything. It's not even know who it is. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Here's some voicemails. Do do do do do do. Matty, this is the first podcast you sat through. Look at you. She's growing up. She's very good.

Growing up. Growing up. She's very liberal now. Hmm. Liberal with her peeing. Do I develop my last version? Now that I think about it. Here's my, here's the better way to sum up everything. College girls getting sexually assaulted.

This is, this is why college girls have fun. Like whenever you're going to college you gotta go feel like these Angie rape training, you gotta go through all this stuff. Like okay cool. I got it. I'm not a racist. You have to be ready for training. Everyone goes through something i would say very very very small portion of people go through and here's the kicker i will bet with almost ninety nine percent certain even though i think i'm going to go to the big-time blaming i should have put up it's actually a little bit three times by going to a day bar by day friends

just for fun and then i times by going to a gay bar with my gay friends to support for him. And then I stop going to gay bars and I stop getting sexually assaulted. From the gay's win. I can't be the only one that sees the connection of dressing really slutty in public and then getting sexually assaulted by creepy men. No! There you go. I was trying to fucking draw the picture.

I can walk yourself into it every time. You're getting reported. Report on it. The situation that the predators are going to be in, that's the reason. That's the reason. You know, you being sexually assaulted. Like, if you don't want to get touched by a prey, if you don't want a prey, you're so afraid of pedophiles, then you homeschool your kids.

Do you have a fish for me? No, I'm sure. Remove the elements of danger. Because if you remove the element of danger because because I'm going to shitty fucking bars that charge you like a dollar for fucking some fucking a methanol that they got in the back and then that's the crime

I got to make fucking bottom fuck you up no no methanol is don't drink that menthanol but that's a nice dream to menthanol No, no, Beth and all is don't drink that Cream to men But nope. If I look at you that and I got mud, that's my fucking fault because I know the guy needs to be reeducated again. Why? I now I'm questioning it.

Now it seems like it doesn't work. So obviously we got to double down. You know, fucking listening. The anti-rape training is not working. Fuck it, mugg. That's my fault. What the fucking talking about? Has literally never been the case.

The difference is you don't get mugged at your friend's house. Like I don't go, Sean has no risk of being mugged by me in studio. All women have a risk of being raped by their friends. That's the way it is. Sorry, I didn't do it. God did. Blame him. It's true though. Hey, you know, it's train that. Hey, you know, but you can't teach it. What are you going to teach it out of them?

I don't know. Well, so you make fun of the, you know, the billboards and stuff. It's like, Oh, Jesus, I never thought of that. I thought about that. That was wrong. No domestic violence. Not even a little bit. Not as I. None. I mean, I just wasn't taught this. Thank God, there's a PSA on about it. Oh, the bumper sticker, they're gonna have a flash bag. Oh, that bumper sticker. I saw in that cop car. He said, actually, no domestic violence.

All right. No tolerance. That's just to remove myself from the area of danger. Called Earth. I have, I have the solution. You get an insulin pump, you tweak it or whatnot to get the trip or whatever. So we get pump in your body. Just right. You fill it up with booze. And it'll hit you'll get you to that point. And it'll probably keep you at that

point. If you get the dose to try to the drip, right? Is that right? It may take you a little bit longer to get your trunks, but it'll keep you going. Just like insulin pump. It keeps the fat those going with the other insulin. Right into your blood. Yeah. Yeah.

You already have this. Just go buy it. Just go do it. Just go do it right now. Lick or high. Everyone. Lick or insulin. Well, that's something to look into. Lick or high. Everyone. Lick or insulin, right? Well, that's something to look into. Lick or control system.

Has no one ever tried that? Yeah, they probably did. I could use insulin top. Lick or? Lick or dead. Um, that would be good. Like a slow time. How come you can get a time release?

Like, Zartan was talking. I thought he was talking about to break death. He just meant literally like just inject yourself with an insulin. Okay. Yeah, see, you can be, because you can't, it's too hard to control the dosing I thought he was talking about to break down. He just meant literally like just inject yourself with an insulin, okay. I find it. Yeah, see, you can't, it's too hard to control the dosing of the medicine by drinking it, because the medicine makes you drink faster.

Like, I need to clear it to D-style liquor that just sits in my stomach and slowly reject it. People have really injected alcohol before. Definitely. All of it. People have injected alcohol into their veins before. I need a little bit at a time.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, you know, it's not a terrible idea. Yeah, true. Hey, Dick. This is Mo from Oregon. All right.

My rage is sex addicts. Hmm. These motherfuckers claim to have a greater addiction to sex than the rest of us, than all other motherfuckers who want to swam that bus. Hmm. Why? I don't know. They believe that they are entitled to a greater amount of human and their penis than the rest of us. They're entitled to a greater amount of human and penis than the rest of us. a the order. He's emasculated by sex addicts because they want everyone to know they're

bragging about how much they want sex, implying that they have it a lot and he's just a normal guy. Both of them gave me the same story. They both went out, flooded up the entire world that I haven't. the entire world that I haven't. Uh-huh. Is he jammed with glorious tails from top to bottom, from all of their experience. Do you have a new fling pump full of blues? Dripping the obliquely reason. They call it a fucking addiction. Yeah, I believe that's called just living your fucking life.

You fucking idiot. Just having a fucking main go idiot. Mm-hmm. You're having a fucking good time, Goddammit. But, hey. Can't be a sex addict, that's his drug addict, but you can't be a sex addict, that's what he's saying. You know, is it not, you're not gonna come across in your brain? Yeah, you get the chemicals in your brain.

You can be an addict to cutting, right? Cause it releases endorphins. And it's the whole point that it's like, you do acts, you go compulsively, you don't in your brain. You can be an addict to cutting, right? Cause it releases endorphins. And it's like, you do acts compulsively. You don't. Yeah, that harm you. Like I said, no to sex. Really? Well, I mean,

context, you say no or did it? Was it the behavior implied that was no? I mean, that's that. Um, well, take it. Don't let them get away with it, man. Have you see a sex addict? He's a sex addict. Shut that shit out of them.

Shut that shit down. Okay, here we go. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean. Here's a mix me, Rach. Racist movies. Yeah. I really hate watching these movies where the whole point or the whole focus thing is racism.

Because all the, it's just these movies on how they handle it now. It's just so fucking heavy handed. And it's just, it's always the same trope, right? You know, here's the white person living their life. And then here they encounter, like, you know, here's the record of scratch, like, you know, what's that at black person? Whoa, you know, this just like, you know, the minority has to be this very, very smart, very affluent, doesn't, doesn't follow any stereotypes whatsoever, you know, kind of character and then the white guy. Like, you're all a fat guy who constantly thinks that, like, that anybody who's a minority

has to be just like every stereotype and all then the other guy has to correct them on everything. Wait a minute. That fat white woman that was talking about fat phobia being racist. Yeah, yeah. Didn't she say that black women were considered fatter because of their sexual lusts. Yeah. And that was... Well, they had... Yeah, because they were fat.

They had like social... That was the old racism. Yeah, I guess. So does that mean... And I'm just spitballing here. Does that mean that white women back in the 1800s were trying to stop men from pursuing black women by doing, by building up this kind of idea that they were evil where you're going, meaning that the racist is white is always been white women.

They started it and are perpetuating it and making a lot of good points. Making a lot of sense. All right, what was this guy saying? I fucking hate how movies are just so fucking preachy. You know, like fucking I was watching Lisa Weapon 1 and 2. And I think like it's a factor of like break. A break. Being a black dude or whatever.

He's autistic. You know, was just a point in, I think in the second one because it was a part-time. And then even then, it wasn't pre-key. It was just, yeah, I'm black. So what? You know, like, oh, and those things, it's like, who cares? You know, that's how you can handle racism in a film.

That's how it's been handled. It's just like, oh, you're not that bad of a person. Yeah. Okay. The end, you know, but not just hate. I hate how. I hate how. I hate how.

I hate how. I hate how. I hate how. I hate how. I hate how. I hate how some type of education glass here doesn't seem like it's working. Well, I don't know. Listen, fuck movies, but yeah, seems like they're repeating the same story. It's as if maybe they should get more preach. Nobody's listening. Yeah, they should double down. Yeah. It should just be 45 minute long. Single camera, just people, that woman lecturing us about the book she read. I think that racism is going to start having churches. And white people are going to go once a week and sit for an hour and listen to how they're listening to another white person tell them how their racist.

I bet. Well, I hope they go full on sermon. And at least pick up the singing from like the black churches where they actually have some kind of fun. No, they're not going to do that. White church is not fun. It's going to be anti-racism churches. You're going to do it right here.

That already exists. I guarantee you there's some sort of like weekly white guilt, fragility, like seminar. Sure. I bet they're fucking packed. Yeah. All right. I'm back on the nuclear bomb. That's a good to have you back.

Thank you. I'm worried. I see. I got a couple more of these. Why do I have so many voicemails this week? Jesus Christ. Hey, let me say a rage is the retarded shit that people celebrate now. Mild thing. Yeah.

You know, they'll go one day, like, completely black pill bitching about genuinely heinous shit. Like, Tennessee has a quarter million jobs available and not even 5% of them pay more than $20,000 a year. Or, you know, the S&P 500 shit you're talking about along with government subsidized pocket uh... firms buying up all the land in the country genuinely initially like that black belt

and then they turn around we finally got a win boys because of the pre-m court ruled that a christian adoption center is allowed to discriminate against lgbt uh... option center is allowed to discriminate against LGBT. We have a win boy. I don't see the country. Right. Oh, good one.

Good one, pal. Yeah. Good job. 30 years, we, uh, so important. So I'm so important. We have, uh, people who have never been around gay parents. That's what that'll be, right? Yeah.

Awesome. We finally got one, boys. Finally got one. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for dedicating your time to making sure whatever you think's gonna happen. You know what I love? There's always these fucking idiots online that they post obsessively about how

like kids getting molested is done disproportionately by gay men or something like that. The stat is like, oh well, this is what the stats are. You know that they do this with just, you could just remove the gains, make it men, right? Like, you know that, you know that that's constantly being done to men, to you. And you, and you just take it and without any hint of, without any irony at all, without even a breath of it, as though this is a need, like an addiction,

to constantly promote this idea, you do it, you turn around and do it immediately, and out yourself as someone that no one needs to be concerned about. Hmm. Okay, maybe one more. Hey, Dick, I just bought this new TV and it's got this fire thing in it.

We're connected to the internet so I can look at my penis and instead of, yeah, the factory is doing it. I have to install it and it's gonna have to wait until it's installed until I can start watching my videos. Why? Why? Okay. We live in this surveillance state. Why can't they just be content with bugging all of our phones all the time? No one.

250. Every single person on earth, all the homeless people have smart phones. So if you want to track someone what are they complaining about? Is that we already have that network? So why do we need to put spyware on our television? Okay, I get it 1984 they had the TVs with the cameras in they are always on or what I was never written The iPhones are a lot better than the TVs because they're always in our pockets You know looking at your balls. I mean, well, I have to be inconvenienced

When they're already taking all my data. They already know what my penis looks like Mm-hmm. You want you want a different angle of it? Yes, but just put a All right. Put a PS2 game next to it. Next year, Dick. And put that on file. Yeah. A guy is a really, really clear memory of a picture of his own dick. I know. What a weird. See, frame it.

Does he have it? Maybe that's the problem. He's just, he has a memory of the picture. He didn't have the, he didn't actually have the picture. Yeah. What if he was wrong? He's got to get out the have the, he didn't actually have the picture. Yeah, what if he was wrong? He's got to get out the old hard drive and find that JPEG. Yeah.

His reality, right? Obviously, he's wrong, right? Right. What was the, I guess, I mean, what could the original picture be? Like a miniature? Might have just two game. Might have just been a game. A game?

Just a picture of a game. Yeah, and he just, he just remembers his dick being in it for some reason. Maybe it was like a perspective trick. He's like holding the game closer. Oh, yeah, he might space angled her with his own dick. That's probably it. All right, everybody. See ya. Good bye.