The Dick Show - Episode 27 – Dick on Moving

Episode Date: December 6, 2016

Download the MP3 The Booger Bandit, sweet-talking movers, bedroom starfish, the Country Mouse and the Shitty Mouse, pizza Jesus, Sean and his raise and also many sexual exploits, the time I was ejected from a Flight of the Conchords concert, Maddox and his shitty Gildan T-shirts, more celebrities call in, using technology to stop bed … Continue reading "Episode 27 – Dick on Moving" The post Episode 27 – Dick on Moving appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah Yeah, welcome to dick you need dick you want dick you love dick you got it It's the show where everything is a contest. Time your host, dick masters, and with me is always a shun. I am here. Hey, what's up, buddy? It's the show that pays shun the audio engineer more than any other podcast. He is on for the 20th week running.

Is that a mark? I don't know. I mean, whenever we make it up, whenever we cross that Patreon goal of give Sean a raise, that's when the Dixhobe came to show that pays Sean more than any other podcast that he is working on in the entire world, in the entire universe. But what? You are a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, the show is longer. When the show started, I thought it was going to be like a half hour. I'm like, how much could I possibly have to say every week, but

that dude, it's like we do two versions, though, kind of. We do a lightly edited version for certain people. And then we do an actual edited version. What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, when you, because people get the video, oh, yes. So we do the live show for the big swing and dicks on Patreon, Patreon.com slash the Dix show. And we'll sit here and get ready to do the show and end up be essing for like a half hour before we even start the show. But still I did not, when we originally started this show on episode one, I thought, I mean, how much, how many words do I have in me? How long can I talk straight? Maybe five minutes, seven minutes, but we'll be sitting here for like two and a half

hours. The show will wrap and I will go continue to rant all day. Yeah, but I'll just want, it never seems that long. No, it never seems that long, but I think it's like, it's unlocked something in my brain. Remember that episode of South Park when Randy can't stop being sarcastic? It has like, it has permanently given me this brain damage where I just start ranting about things like and I'll wake up from a sleep, ranting about dead sleep, just ranting about a dream last night. I'm laying in bed and I'm realizing that I have a, a booger in my nose and I'm like, oh, here

we fucking go with the boogers in the nose. Is it whistling? It is, it's about to start whistling and I can tell and it's one of those sharp hard ones and I'm like, well, great. What do I do now? Do I, if I pick this booger, I gotta get, no, I'm gonna stab myself. I'm getting, start bleeding. You said it's a sharp hard one.

It's like having a piece of crack up your nose. I can finesse it out of there though. I can finesse that booger out of there. I'm like the wind. I'm like, I'm like seal team six. I'm like Navy seals. I get in there. I finesse it out. I finesse it out like moving a piano down a flight of stairs with that booger so I don't get a bloody nose right. But still, then what? Then I're just holding on to a booger and bed? Like, what do I gotta sleep with this booger in my hand where I gotta get up? It's a hard one. So just fucking flick it off the edge of the bed.

Sean. Yeah, I'm not flicking boogers into my own bedroom. Well, it's a little rock. Who cares, you'll never see it. Next time you vacuum, do you vacuum? No. Okay, well then, fair enough. But what if you miss it?

What if you step on it? What if it gets warm and you step on the hard booger? It's not gonna, is that the worst thing you've had in your bedroom or on the sheets? No, but it's different. It's different. It's different. Because the booger makes it worse.

You hate things that are different, don't you, racist? If it comes out of your dick, that's okay to have on your bed sheets, but if it comes out of your, if it's a bugger that came out of your nose, no, that's bad. That's disrespectful to anyone that's coming in your house. I'm sorry, but do you want the problem solved or not? Well, that, that, that, that, that's not going to get up. So this is what I was thinking then as I'm not getting up.

As I'm lying in bed, I'm thinking these are the info commercials of the future. Like you know how info commercials are always designated for like old people, right? I'm thinking these are the infomercials of the future. Like you know how infomercials are always designated for like old people, right? Because they have, they have a lot of disposable dough and they're dumb. And like they all have the same problems. Like has this ever happened to you and it's some morons throwing popcorn everywhere? You know what I'm talking about? Because all baby boomers are sitting in their fucking asses watching, television watching

NCIS every night. They're all doing the same. Like as the funnel, as the filter, as you get older, you go into this behavior filter that kind of determines how you act. That's why it's easy to sell products to these people. It's hard to sell products to us because we're doing different things.

Sean's flicking boogers all over his room without a care in the world, and I'm freaking out about it. But then I realized this is the infographic of the future. It's has this ever because we're gonna be so spoiled. There will be no more problems in life. It's gonna be has this ever happened to you where you're laying in bed and you're picking a booger and you're like, well now what do I do with this fucking booger? It's like welcome to the booger burglar.

It's a drone that comes to you at night. It's you clap. Can you imagine how stupid the clapper would sound when a baby boomer was like 10, like I'd be so lazy that I'd clap my hands to turn the fucking lights on and off? That sounds preposterous. 50 years later, huge bestseller. Yeah, to like people like 70 plus. Yeah, now I'm saying when we're 70 plus or when you're 70 plus because I'm going

to be dead at 50. I'm on borrowed fucking time with half Mexican jeans, degenerate Mexican jeans that are that that unfrave faster than their, than their ponchos that you buy in Tijuana. That's what I've got going on in my blood at a cellular level, just jeans that are coming apart because they were built in Mexico because they're made in fucking Mexico. I only pray to God that my German jeans can somehow get in there and exterminate them and do some, yeah, fix for the Mexican ones, maybe corral them in one part of my body and then things start getting out of hand and all this, you know what I'm talking about. Just get rid of it.

Just give me, please, give me the longevity genes from the German side or else I am on a real fuck I'm on a real quick fucking countdown with my the amount of alcohol that I drink I'm like a 20 year countdown motherfucker until I'm in the Mexican graveyard. You know what I'm talking about? Mexicans lived a long time. No dude, we got bad hard problems. Really? Yeah. I'd never heard that at least in my family. Well mine is is, it's either cancer or heart, so I'm fucked in like a broken heart, you mean? You're kind of sly.

Like you dropped at it like 50. Sean comes from an L-Vish race. Well, they live for a thousand years until they get their hearts broken too hard, and then they fade away. They fade the shapes. That one happens to them. That one happens to them. Beautiful painting. I don't fucking know. What do you mean. That one happens to them. Beautiful painting.

I don't fucking know. What do you mean? What happened to them? They're fake. It's a mythological picture. Yeah, but there's like, there's like, there's like, canon on this stupid shit. Right?

I figure you know about this. No, I don't know. Fantasy. Look, there's no more canon anymore. Because the vampire stuff, like starting with interview with a vampire and going through with what was that one, what was that one with the teenagers that are like glowing, that one with the statutory rape, that book. Twilight?

Yeah, that one, because that vampire is like 200 years old and he's fucking a 17 year old. Oh yeah, I mean, well, yeah, he's a vampire. I don't know anything about that movie. You know anything about vampires? Yeah. They're like hundreds of years old. I mean, well, yeah, he's a vampire. I don't know anything about that movie. You know anything about vampires? Yeah, they're like hundreds of years old. And he's kind of fucking teenager. Can you, like the hero that book,

that whole book series needed a dad who was paying attention is like, wait a minute, this 17 year old boy is acting a lot like a 200 year old man. Too many references to the founding fathers, buddy. Yeah, yeah. You said, like, did you know Ben Franklin and not? Oh, you're getting as fucking stake through the heart, man. That's why in what we do in the shadows, it was so funny when he talked about cradle robbing.

She's like a 90-some odd-year-old woman, but of course she's a big part of this. Oh, yeah. Let's give that a go. I don't care if someone called, that's fine. I resisted that movie for so long because you told me it was good and a couple of people told me it was good that I didn't want to lose respect for. I did the, I do that with movies where like if you tell me it's good, I'm like, oh man, you're making me commit to like I have to, if I see this movie and it's stupid and it

looked stupid and sound stupid, then I have to lose respect for you and I don't want to do that. But you're asking me to challenge my reality. But you love Fly to the conquerors, right? And like anything that's kind of associated with that. Yes, have I ever told you the story about when I was ejected from a flight of the conquerors concert? Yes.

You see Anne coach. Me, Anne coach. Yeah, I know. You should tell it again. But that movie, I did the, we did a dub into Spanish for HBO. Yeah. And I engineered on it. And I've probably seen that movie 20 to 25 times.

Yeah, it's funny every fucking time I see it. It is funny. I laugh at the same parts. It is funny. I love it. I love that style too, that fake mockumentery style. Yeah, because it's, it's a more like, amazing. It's more like fast food for movies. Like, just give me a fuck. Just tell me the thing that you're trying to do. Just have the guy look at me and tell me what he's trying to do. Like, just give me a fuck, just tell me the thing that you're trying to do. Just have the guy look at me and tell me what he's trying to do. Like I wish they would do that with ads too. Like in the middle of an episode or something, instead of showing me like 30 seconds of like, okay, whatever, I wish the character would just turn, look right at the camera going, hey, check out a new Nissan, you know, what are we trying to solve a crime over here?

And see, I, yes, just go buy a Nissan, just check it out, check it out. Five, say, save for some time. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, about you. Wait, so you did the Spanish dubbing? About you and Coach. Yeah. What were the voices like? Is my, I love the Spanish version of the Simpsons.

How Homer sounds like extra like, oh, Dios, me, I'm like, oh, no. Well, he sounds like a, like, he's, I mean, he sounds like a cartoonish Mexican man. Yeah. I guess that's what they're going for. They were good. I mean, I think they were appropriate, but you know what, I mean, I'd rather see it in English.

So it was fine. I mean, the director, the director got it. So it was like, yeah, he cast people pretty well. I don't know, it's not like an outstanding piece of work, but it was, you know, HBO was fine. So I dated this girl that did voice over for a hot minute. She did, she did dubbing like voice acting. Yeah. Yeah. But for, like, she did the anime versions. Well, yeah, of things. I was always trying to get her to do the voices, but she wouldn't do it.

There's a group that, uh, there's so many of the same actors that do all that shit. All right. Well, I'm off track already. It doesn't pay very well. All the anime stuff. They were going to be volume. You know what? Good.

There was this whole movement online. I saw where voice actors were fighting for like equal treatment, but I'm sitting there watching these dummies post on Twitter and on Facebook and shit. How they deserve more money. And I'm thinking, first off, it's the easiest job in the world. I know because I've done it. It's, I've done it with you. I've done voices for video games with you because it was fun.

Well, there were, yeah, yeah, they were. Do you remember those games? Or is that game? It was a little app for, it was like a zombies versus plants one. And you needed a bunch of assholes, like a guy in a hazmat suit and like a bunch of zombie-should-guys. Exactly. Yeah, which, yeah, it was fun.

There was one where my roommate did a voice where he, like his mouth was covered. You know, like it was, we just needed some, and he was just swearing all the time. And he listened for it. You could hear it, but it totally got through. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but I'll tell you what, the voice actors, the top guys, they're incredible. It's acting, it should be called acting with voice, because they are absolutely actor. That's what people don't understand.

Oh, I do voices, dude, but you can't act. True. Like, you suck. Everybody on video games is, they're not working, they're terrible. Well, because they have to record like 10,000 hours of the dumbest dialogue ever. I'm sitting there watching these protests online or these hashtags, like, if it's something

some big thing can do them, but most of them who do like the animated series and stuff, those guys are even if they get good guys on video games, the writing is the worst, the most terrible writing in any writing it's ever been written. It's so fucking dumb. One thing that people don't know about professional voice actors is that all those Pixar movies, all those things, they're generally all recorded first with voice actors so that the producers

and director can figure out which lines work, how they need to be delivered, and then the stars just go in and ape their performances. Did you know that? Yeah, I did know that. Yeah, most people don't. Yeah. And you know, a lot of things that a lot of people don't know, Sean. Really? I don't know if you knew that? Yeah, I did know that. Yeah, most people don't. That's, and you know, a lot of things a lot of people don't know. Really?

I don't know if you knew that about me. I'll bet you had 999 times out of 1,000 of those actors were better. Because they're not used to relying on visual cues, but you got to have big names to sell that to open the movie. And the world. And this is fucking world sucks. We got to get to my heart. No, it's funny.

I work with Frank Welker all the time, Mojanga. He's in like three times a week. What do you, what are you saying Welker all the time, Mojanga. He's in like three times a week. What do you say? He's a Frank Welker, his God. He's like one of the voice legends. Everybody from, well, he's Scooby now, but everybody from, from Fred from Scooby Doo to, he's done Megatron, he's done. Oh, cool. He does, he does a million. Wait, you work with that guy? Dude, you should get him to do some drops for this show. I should. You want it, you need it, you love it. I should.

Dig show. Yeah, he's cool. Just get it on your phone or something. Yeah. Yeah. He'll just go running that race. Can you sign this contract and he'll do this little thing with his mouth. It sounds like a marker on a grease board or like a whiteboard.

But it sounds just like it. He can get somebody to do it. That's cool. That's how you know that he's doing his dream job, right? Like Leslie Neilsen also always used to go around with a fart machine because he's so happy. Okay. Anyway. Anyway. Um, I moved.

Yeah. I moved. We are in a new studio. To a dungeon. We are, we are now recording in a dungeon, literally a dungeon with shackles on the walls. If Sean doesn't put the lotion on his skin, he gets the hose again. I moved. It's a big deal into a, I'm going gonna tell you what makes me rage right off the bat.

And I'm gonna do it first, which is people who talk about getting a house, people who talk about moving, because it's one of the most fucking annoying conversation starters and conversations that you have to endure that I can imagine. Like even when people talk about getting a house, it like it fills me with such pile and rage

because I'm looking at them thinking, what are you complaining about this? Like I'm living for my whole life. I'm, you know, the last 10 years or whatever. I've been living in mega city one. Yeah. The dystopian nightmare of urban life that is Hollywood, where people are popping off pistols, where, where literally people in my building, in the

building I was living in, have restraining orders against other people in the building. Yeah. The day I moved, the day I moved in, the bars, there's, there's, there's, there's a fence outside my apartment. There should be a fucking moat. It should be built like a castle to keep these maniacs out of that building and it has to be. The day I moved in, the rot iron fence was bent, that they were fixing a giant bent section of the fence because somebody jumped off the fucking roof. Yeah, oh, that's true, that that's the day I moved in off the fucking roof. Yeah. Oh, that's

true. That that's the day I moved in. The day I moved into that place, I saw they like and pale themselves on it. I didn't ask any follow up questions. Oh, I was asking. No, they're like, oh, yeah, somebody jumped somebody, somebody jumped off and landed on this rot iron fence. Like, well, that's unfortunate, right? That's because probably we're not looking to kiss some nice concrete right through the day I moved in. I saw a pimp slap a pregnant hooker. The day I moved into that place, every fucking restraining order, you come in and you get default restraining orders.

When you move in against other people in the building. Fucking nightmare. But I moved. I moved us. I moved. I moved out into the peace and quiet, the peace and I moved wagons east and it feels, I'm going to tell it feels like the city mouse moved into like I think living in the city that long fucked up my brain.

Kind of permanently because- Don't think there's any doubt about it. People are walking around here. I'm walking around in this new neighborhood and getting, I guess people are just coming up to me like just saying hello or introducing themselves. And I feel like a monster., like a, like a monster. Like, oh, what do you want?

What do you want? Like, what are you coming at me with? What do you need? Who do you know? Who do you know here? Where do you, give me some names. I just moved through some of your, some of your look at your face.

Give me one of those rainbow height things at liquor stores behind you so I can see how tall you are. So when I have to describe you to the police in three days, I can tell them what you fucking look like, right, what were you gonna say? I was gonna say, I moved to exactly the same area about six months ago. I mean, not the same area, well, close to here.

But I mean, a similar move as far as the people good, because I lived in Echo Park near downtown. And, you know, like people are fine there, but you don't really like go out of your way to talk to anybody, everybody just kind of goes about their business. And then like in the neighborhood I'm at now, like everybody just walking their dogs. Hi, they don't even know you everybody's waving. It's weird and I don't I don't fit in. Like I I it's I really feel like it's like a next Friday kind of situation here. You remember that it was that was the it was better than the movie Friday.

Yeah, it's where they're like most two. Rancho chunk of monga. Yeah. Like most sequels. It was far superior to the original. Yeah. I just I feel like like like this, this neighborhood that I'm in when I was looking at this house, it was Hillary Clinton signs. Every single house was a Hillary Clinton sign now. I'm hosting like an insane right like like an insane rage in fueled podcast in a basement, a subterranean nightmare of a podcast, a basement of this neighborhood. Secretly, this is like, when I was doing this in Hollywood, this is, this is, this is normal. This is par for the course.

This is like a nice quiet neighborhood. And already, I'm in this, not no bullshit. I'm here for 30 seconds. And I already have words with the neighbor. No way, really. Dude, it's so like the way people act here. Yes. You have words as in like anger?

As in there was something that was not resolved and both parties were aggravated by it. Oh. It's like, it's the, I think it's the, the next level of like the nipple rubbing thing. So I, I pull in, I'm in a hurry doing this move. There's, you know, like, like all moves, this move is very frantic. It's so frantic. My man bun was, oh, tussled.

There's no good, like a college chick getting out of bed. That's what I looked like when I was doing this move. So I'm rushing over here from the movers to meet the internet guy, to get internet for the podcast because the internet people fucked me by showing up early and they say, well, if we don't do it now,

we gotta do it like December, uh, 81st probably the only time. My only time that's ever happened. I need it. I need it. Yeah, I need it. Fuck it. I need it now.

It's not exactly what you got to get here now. So I'm like, okay, uh, movers, I got to go, meanwhile, fucking mo, I rush over from the movers. I pull into the, pull it, pull into, pull onto a curb. Like it's parking galore here. Yeah, it's totally unlike the city, right? Yeah, parking. Although not not as much as I thought.

Well, I thought you were up on a different street. I know this neighborhood. I pull over. I pull over to the curb, park my car. Just real quickly throw the car into park, jump out. Neighbor comes over. Little bass, the little guy who's eyeing me too much. Like in the city, I would think he's about to stab me.

Guys eyeing me this much. Like he's really got something to say, but out here, it's very different. What's he look like? He looks like a little gay Santa. Okay. Little short guy. Bit of a, like a little parfait.

He wants to know what's going on in his neighborhood. Yeah, I'm going to drive the housing prices down. Well, I mean, that's the, that's the person I've become. Like in the city, I didn't have any conflicts with anyone because they're all pieces of shit just like me. But I think now that I'm here, I'm the piece of shit screaming about boogers and hookers in his basement while everybody else is having this nice suburban utopia around me that they're all in like they're bringing

over muffins and shit to each other. They're having they're they're all on permanent vacation. They're kids have play dates. Kids have fucking play dates. So I pull up to the spot dude comes over. Hey, what's what's going on? You're the new neighbor nice to meet you. What's your name?

Oh, yeah, good. I'm trying to put the mask on of being a nice person, right? Just because that's what you have to do. I've learned that in, that's what I think you have to do here. Doesn't work like that in the city. You say I, we're neighbors. I don't need to know you. No.

But I texted my neighbor, hey, I just moved out. You know, it's been nice, been nice living next to you for seven years. And he says, oh, yeah, I'm glad that we didn't really get to know each other or hang out. I think that's what made it work. I was like, yeah, me too. See you. Hope you don't get fuck. I hope they don't move kids in next to you. Yeah. Like, because it's been great. This guy might be an improvement. Yeah, 30 seconds. I'm just getting out of the car looking for the cable guy so I can get internet for the show.

He goes, oh yeah, so just want to let you know. Hey, this is what he says to me. You just want to let you know. Around here, we like to park our cars so that your car only takes up one space on the curb and doesn't take up one space on the curb and doesn't take up two spaces like the way you've done it. Oh, because you parked in the middle? Yeah, gotcha.

Sort of. I didn't park in the fucking middle. I know how to park a car. People have been, I mean, you understand that I've been circling, I've been looking for parking spaces like a hyena looking for a dead gazelle among a billion other hyenas for the last 10 years. I know how to park You know like I've been parking Competitively for 10 years. You might not of well, it really whatever whatever it really pissed me off

This is because he's telling me like this is this is the first impression. I'm here for 20 seconds. Yeah already We like to park like this not the way you've done it. Yeah. I'm sorry. Around here. Oh, yeah. It really, it gave me those laser beam eyes, you know, those Gary laser, those laser eyes that you get

where it feels like the whole world's kind of closing in on you. Like it feels like that pardon Indiana Jones too when he's getting squished by the blades. Like at the last that dent, dent, dent, that's what I hear in my head when people just, they say that, and I don't know if like I've, if this podcast has given me a rage problem or just living in the city has fucked up my brain, but it just makes my skull feel like when he said that, it made my skull feel like it was squishing in and he goes, yeah, and we also like to park in our driveways. So I know, I noticed that you're not doing that right here. I don't like dude. I mean,

I don't know if you, like, I don't know what the pecking, I don't know how this works in the suburbs, but if you, like, if you tried that shit in the city, this would now be an altercation. Yeah. Like, it would be, well, I mean, what are you going to do about it? Yeah. Are you going to, you're going to fuck up my car? Or what? But this is totally, so I just looked at him, looked at his car. He just got down and I said, well, you know, you got a little bit of a remainder on your

car as well. So maybe, maybe you should back up. Yeah. And he goes, well, now if I did that, I'd be, you know, I'd be blocking the drive, I don't know, I don't know man, I don't know. That's immediately, immediately. So that's what we've got to look for. This is all owed to the dickheads for making this possible.

This is literally the house that dickheads built that I'm living in now. This is the studio that Dickhead's built. So thank you guys for that. I feel like a hooker. Jesus, I need more money. I feel like a hooker with, well, you're asking the wrong guy, buddy.

You should be asking Maddox and his dying podcast for more money if you want to raise this. I feel like a hooker with 2000, John's. Wait, what? It's taken care of. What can you go? Conversations. Oh, you've talked to him about getting a raise.

Things happening. What do you mean? Things. What do you mean things? I'm not gonna tell you stuff. Why? Because you're all over here, the end of it. Yeah, but you, in this situation, you have less power than him.

So you're the one that should be sharing information. It only benefits you. That's not a lot of data. No? I'm not gonna, no. Oh, what is he gonna do some stupid bonus episode thing? So you're the one that should be sharing information. It only benefits you. No. I'm not gonna, no. Oh, what is he gonna do some stupid bonus episode thing and telling you he's gonna give you a cut of that? No. I'm not gonna tell you what how his show works. I don't know, man. People have told me that he's now

humping his Amazon affiliate program. And there's no money in that. I mean, I do think his podcast is dying if you want to know, honestly. I have, I do think the pie, I do think his podcast is dying. If you want to know, honestly, I have no idea. Yeah. I think you should get a raise in there while the reason is good. Well, you can still ask for it because as those, as those sponsors start falling, like as Kendall and Hyde drops off and how do you know how to do it? I just assume it is because no one's buying $400 man purses.

Like, there's no way dollar shave club, a hairie's, they'll buy razors, but they're not buying fucking leather man purses from a guy who makes fun of children's art. That's just my opinion. I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. I don't ask questions about the sponsors.

You should, though. Well, I'm saying you should. Yeah. You don't get paid enough over there. I know you fucking don't. What? I don't know, man. I have conversations away from here.

Yeah. Yeah. Why am I going to be able to not say this is the show that pays you more than any other show soon? I don't know. You might have to up it. I hope so. I just don't buy it. I don't think it.

Look, look, I look at what he's doing. I look at what he's doing with the selling shitty t-shirts, those gildon shirts selling those on his store. Kendall and Hyde, I assume are going to drop him because the fucking this guy Cameron her means or something Every time I post anything online he is there to talk shit This guy this guy Cameron so every time I talk about how many downloads this show gets versus Max's show He's chirping in there like like a like a little like a child. He's chirping on there, like a little, like a little, I don't know what, I don't know what to call it.

He just jumps in and talks shit for no reason. I don't know him. But he's, I know he's affiliated with the Kendall and Hyde program because he's the one that's originally, he started tweeting at me when I was saying that the show was doing well. He was tweeting about what a joke this show was because it doesn't have a format and this and that

and really running his mouth and people started to jump all over him. So I did a little research and I think this guy Cameron Hermines or Cameron Hermines is this, he's like this potato faced, he looks like this potato faced, newly armed loser. I think it's this guy.

I think he's the guy who's taught. There's a weirdest description of ever. No, but I think he's the guy that talked Maddox into doing that stupid podcast network, telling him that there would be all these sponsors lined up to keep it afloat, and that somehow getting a bunch of like shitty, unknown podcasts on board, would somehow increase.

It just seems like I know Maddox is gullible when it comes to guys who look like Jocks in high school who will tell him that he's powerful. Like he's stuck in this mode of being a loser in high school where if you're a pretty boy, like if you look like, if you look like you could grow up to be Captain America, except without the serum, and you tell him that he can do something in like a complicated way that sounds like, sounds like some kind of media platform, he will do anything for, and that's the only way I can think he was duped into doing this stupid network was by somebody like this Cameron guy

who's also, because he's the one who's aggressively defensive of Kendall and Hyde. Do you think you knew him before Kendall and Hyde? I don't know. I don't know. I think he got a hold of him though, because a lot of dickheads will post about how Kendall and Hyde fucked them

on their, like they took forever to fulfill an order and they canceled their order. And he's right there nipping at their heels. Like when I posted that this show got a million, that's all I said, this show got a million downloads. He's right there saying, oh, but consider the source. I'm like, what the fuck source, dude?

Why do you come in and chirp about on this show? Is it like, what is your motive for doing that? This is why I stay at the boards. But you need to know this information. That's what I'm saying. This is your motive for doing that? This is why I stay at the boards. But you need to know this information. That's what I'm saying. Like this is your time, motherfucker. You should be compensated more. Like no, no, listen, okay, listen to this.

There is a reason you don't have an ultimatum like everybody else that you can be on this show. And that's because he can't lose you. Well, I'm, okay, I'm harder to replace. Oh, dude, you're impossible to replace. I don't know about that. Because he's unfucking listenable without someone like you.

If, without you, you've got Maddox and some scrawny little asshole, like some scrawny YouTube entertainment asshole. Rock is cool, dude. Ah, get the fuck outta here, rock is cool. Yeah, I like that guy. He's like the same morning zoo bits over and over.

You're the only one that gives that show any kind of real credibility from like a real common man. I don't know that. You don't think so? I have no idea, I just know I have fun. That's the only thing. I think you should have more money than fun. Yeah, I know.

That's, I make money other places too. Yeah, but this is your time. Yeah. You should make the maximum amount of money for all of your time. Yeah, I know. There are things in the works. When?

I'm not telling you. Why? Because dude, I think like, okay, this got unread it. This guy laggo more. This would be all over the internet and then Cameron will tweet at me. Oh, I know, I know, that's what, this is what Cameron does.

Like I have it, like I have it. Like these little fucking idiots just talk shit. Cameron, Hermes and and Mike Gams every time I say something positive about the show this show They come in and start talking shit like what the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah, what do you want like why are you so invested in trying to degrade the value of this show is because yours is not Fucking doing well and because maybe can't the candle and hide people want fucking money back, and maybe that's why there's no sponsors, and you're trying to hump Amazon affiliate revenue, like it's anything, I got an Amazon affiliate link on the Dixho page.

I didn't even know what that was. Dude, it's basically just, you click through, you're basically go through like your site to get to Amazon, right? Yeah, you go click, so you do, and you get some purchasing that you were gonna do, except instead, first first you add the bit where you go to my site and click on a button

and then I get some hand out for it. And they don't pay more though, right? No, it's just like, I just go to my site first and then it takes you to Amazon, I get a little bit, you get the same stuff. Yeah, it's like hand handling from Amazon. Like these people would go to Amazon anyway, but you're there begging for a little cut of

the action. Yeah. You're basically begging people to go to your site to get like, there's no value added for them. Other than anything to support the show, which is awesome. Yeah, yeah. But I'm telling you, it only makes like a hundred bucks a month. Like, it's not enough.

It's not enough to get you what you need. If that's what he's telling, because I don't know, again, I don't know what kind of conversations are going on, but those that add nothing to it. Don't worry about what you need. If that's what he's telling, because I don't know, again, I don't know what kind of conversations are going on, but those that had nothing to do. Don't worry about what I do. Sean, you need more fucking money. I always need more money. You don't understand, because it drives me fucking crazy to see people

with leverage not exercise it. That's what I'm talking about. And there's a reason, there's a reason he can't kick you off of that show. Anyway, let me tell you what makes me a race. All right. Movers. So, so this is this is what you go through with movers. You call them out. Okay.

And they I call the movers out to my place. Now, like, well, okay, what's going? What are you moving? Yeah. I want to I got one apart. What are you moving here? Everything. Yeah. Oh, it's a lot of stuff. Yeah, well, that's why I called you. Are you moving the couch? Yeah. I'm moving. You need to move in the couch too. Yeah, well that's why I called you, are you moving the couch? Yeah, I'm moving it. I'm moving the couch too. Yeah, you need other move for that. Like, yeah, you moving this desk too, it's a big desk. You moving the desk?

Yeah, man. Who are these people? They're all like, this is every single mover. I've ever, you moving this desk too? I don't know, that desk isn't gonna fit in the elevator. Like, well dude, it got up here. The desk got up here. It's currently sitting up here.

Certainly someone figured out a way to do it. Perhaps you can recreate, use your, call them up, use your Da Vinci code as figure out, you know, turn into Nicholas, watch a couple, watch a national treasure a couple of times and you figure out how to move the, what about the about the piano that going up right here. Yeah. Oh, I don't know if that's gonna fit in the elevator. Like what is this? The only job who will not do who will complain about what you asked them to do during the job is movers. Every single , every single fucking time I call them and I feel, it feels like when they get out there, I'm negotiating with this poor bastard to do the actual work that I'm paying him to do.

Yeah. Every fucking time. What else makes me guys? They're expensive too. Oh, I don't want to talk about it. People talking about getting a house. Yeah. I don't know if this is just me, but it's always bugged me so much. It's always filled me with such rage when anybody talks about it because it's like, it's like hearing somebody talk about which is their favorite harem girl. And they're a big harem of women like, well, you know, these are my problems. I'm picking this one or this one.

I'm like, oh, shut the fuck up. You win either way. What the fuck are you talking about? Like, at least when you're talking about your kids, I know that your life is ruined. I know that there's whatever you say about your kids, there's a massive negative. Like there's a massive downside

because your entire fucking life is ruined and the entire rest of your life is ruined. Well, and you have no control over how they turn out. But that's your perspective. This is reality. Well, to your reality, some people all they want is their life is their kids and they love it. Sean, this is, I'm talking about, this is an evolutionary cost-benefit scale for kids and sex. Sex had to

feel so good. Yeah, yeah. So good because kids are so terrible. Wait, now you sound like Neil deGrasse Tyson. Sean. No, he would, he sound, I mean, he sounds like a blacker, the Sean. The reason is evolutionarily. Sex has to feel so good because kids are so, it's true though. He said he sounds like Charlton Heston. Yeah, it's true though. If sex felt even slightly less good, there would have been no child zero. Like the sex drive had to be amped up to such an insane degree because kids will ruin your fucking life.

And evolution knows that. Darwin knows that. Whoever figured out, God, whoever, he knew it. They knew it. So it had to be that bad. But houses are not, houses don't work like that. However, I figured out why everybody talks about it. I figured out why everybody compulsively talks

about their home buying experience. Because everybody, yeah, because everybody you deal with, you know, not only do you suspect that they're trying to fuck you, but you are sure that they're trying to fuck you, and there is nothing that's not even that they're trying to fuck you.

It's that the entire system incentivizes all parties to fuck you. There is like every single one is, entire system incentivizes all parties to fuck you. Yeah. There is like every single one is, they all make their money on you acting as quickly as possible. All of them, they all get a cut on how fast you make a move. Yeah. It is like buying a house is like being a chicken a bar and listening to a guy trying to hit

you up and knowing that everything he says is total, is whether it's true or not, is total bullshit. Like, oh, I'll treat you. I'll treat you nice. I'm like, I'm a real nice guy. I'm a great guy. Yeah, that could all be true, but you still just trying to fuck me, right? Even if that is all true, I'm still getting fucked.

Yeah. The end goal is the same. The end goal is the same. The end goal is the same. Let me see if I got any. Oh, yeah, okay, I'm gonna play some more things from a stereo, see sent me. Oh cool. These are from a stereo,

these are celebrity collars calling to congratulate us on a million downloads. I didn't get through all the most. Why did you say they were from a stereo's? Cut that part out. Yeah. Hello there, dick. This is Hillary Clinton.

We should give a happy million downloads. I'm being ironic, of course. This is Hillary Clinton. We should give you a happy million downloads. I'm being ironic, of course. I'm not happy. I'm never happy. Oh, how come? That's how I cry like humans do. You know what makes me a rage? When your husband cucks you in the Oval Office, which means you're supposed to get to be

president, but you get parked blocked by an orange-haired pussy-grabber. That's how I feel. I'll see you in hell, you tiny-faced motherfucker. I don't think she does. I'm gonna put the country to recon. The recount? I messed it up. I like this Darios put in hang-up sound effects.

Yeah. Like, because the voice mails that I always play do not have hang-up sound effects. Well, no, they hang up on their end. But you don't hear it. Well, you do. It's kind of a... Not anymore. When was the last time?

When was the last time anybody had a phone that you could hang up? Well, I hear it in though, you can tell when the connection is off. Yeah, but he put in like a, I know, like a old school phone hang up. I know. You heard it?

I heard it. Listen, listen, they're all on the, I messed it up. Yeah. Yeah. So he went out of his way to recreate it. It's a stereotype.

So I hear it to recreate a sound effect that no longer exists. Yeah. Okay. It's funny. Here's another celebrity calling. Hello there, dick. This is a lieutenant Colombo. Just want to call and wish you are the happiest of a million downloads. Okay. That's it. I won't take up anymore. You're time. a million down. Okay, that's it. I won't take up anymore of your time. There's just one more thing. One more thing. No, my mind must have slipped my mind. You run to a restaurant 900 DUIs.

You can come on. There's only so many times you can shake yourself and a red light camera before we got to do something. And now to hand you over to my non-union Mexican equivalent. Ah, oh, la, senior dick. Yo, soy a lootendo colombino. Oh, ah, same guy. Muchos congratulate on esa, a la un milion, epizonti tititos. Wesa. I heard the Kitos. Oh, ah,

un momento, por favor, I mean, mi mentira es vacando. Yo soy Andorra S, do por el 900 date rapes. Adios. Oh, again, he put that on every single one. They're all calling from the same room. But they're all together. There's no more hang up. They're all taking, wait a minute.

Not only does he have a hang up sound, he's also got the bell jingling. I know. As though it's a phone that makes a ringing sound with a bell, which all, I don't even get on eBay. So the analog phone, eBay. Oh, I'm sure you can get them on eBay, but no, it's so funny. They're all waiting their turn.

Yeah. They're calling in the same room. Well, there's one more. This is, is an actual celebrity. It was a guest on the show that called in. Cool. Hello there there dick. This is Michael, Thurna, bitch, and I want the Dems to burn a bitch. And I know the country,

your Navidges were a good old alt-right time. Oh, sorry. It's like a show tune. Showtune. Accidentally took one of my rainbow pills. Happy million. There's no way, sir, and it just I hang up phone. All right, that's good. I'll play some more next time. Oh, man. Oh. Okay.

I just love the bills. I love the minutia that goes it, because hysteria is put so much work into his bids. And I always wonder why because it's just a voicemail, right? But then I get them and like I know he's the greatest thing about a stereosis and he puts, it seems like there's not any work being put into something. That is, no, no. And this might be just me, but the greatest thing to look is effortless.

Well, it's like not, you know, you don't wanna catch an actor acting. Yeah. And when you see somebody just jamming out, they're playing a rockin' guitar solo, you want it to, you want to feel like he just picked it up and just started playing the greatest song in the world. And like, it's a connection of him.

So it's fluid, it's easy. And that's how I feel about fighting the instrument. And that's how I feel about these hysterios calls, because it's, it seems like he just, he's so funny. It seems like he just would have picked up a phone and started talking like Cernovich and like sticking that song, but I'm sure he puts a shitload of time into writing it out,

probably redoing it because he's, I mean, he strikes me as someone who's a little bit obsessive maybe about the end product that they're putting out. Yeah. Maybe does it over a couple of times, maybe splices it together and then goes out of his way to find a sound effect of a phone hanging up with the ringer and throwing that in. All right. I'll place it more of those. That's the cappper. The hand, that old phone hang up is, yeah. That's what really puts it over the edge. Over the top.

Over the top. I've got, let's go. Let's do. Okay. All right. You remember last week? The first. Bagley.

Rage in the cage. Rage lottery. Oh, yeah, rage lottery. I don't know what to call it yet, but two men enter one man lead. We had both were newcomers last week, both were challengers. We had Damien and Blast Johnson. So we had Damien, if I remember right, he had the crusty catch up lid. Yes, crusty catch up in the lid. Blast Johnson, I don't remember

his. What did he have? Blast Johnson did people at work who talk about their kids. Right. Right. So I'm thinking that the old Blast Johnson one and a walk well. He decimated it. Yes. I mean, look at the. Let me get the final results here. Okay. but not only did Blast Johnson win, he is ranked, he's now ranked on the rage board above my life coach, above Denzel, above my man, barely floating below mad cucks. Meanwhile, important, oh, Damien, thank God Damien was earlier in the week below David Clegg on the rage. But now that's swapped. Now Damien is not in the week below David Clegg on the rage. But now that's swapped. Now Damien is not in last place.

So he didn't deserve to be in last place. No, that's what, well, he's a, there was a whole, there was a whole thread and read it about it. Did you catch him stuttering at all? Who? Damien. Yeah, yeah, a little bit. Oh, you did?

Well, you didn't notice that at all. Everybody on Reddit was making fun of them. And then he came in to one of his threads as Stuttering Stanley was his username and started, he seems like a good sport about it, but he smoothed it out. Yeah. I mean, it didn't, yeah, he wasn't stuttering throughout the whole thing.

However, he did say that part of the issue was there was an echo on our end. So I think he's blaming you. Oh, okay. Sounds like he's blaming you for us. I'll take that. He might, we might have to give him a do over it because of the technical difficulties. But anyway, today, we've got a new entry into the rage lottery. Everybody who's a Patreon, on Patreon.com slash the Dixho gets a lottery ticket to join in on the shenanigans on the show to either become a blast Johnson or become a David

Clegg at the very bottom. We've got a new challenger today. Let me call him up. Let me get him on the line. Mr. Nobre, are you there? Yes, I am. Dick, how's it going? Good. How is my connection? Do you hear an echo in any way? Are you going to be putting an asterisk on this either win or loss anyway in any fashion? No, there's no echo. Your sound is gorgeous as always. Okay, buddy. Um, thanks, buddy. He wins already. Hi, Hey, Sean. Welcome. Welcome to the rage in the cage. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Long time listen or first time rager. Is that so? That's fantastic. All Yes, I'm ready. Long time listener, first time rager. Is that so? That's fantastic.

All right, I'm going to give you 69 seconds. Are you ready, my friend? Just a little clock. Let's do this. 321 and go. All right, my rage this week is pizza bigots. Here's the problem. Pizza day work, great day, right?

Shit day for me, dick. You know why? Because I'm a simple man. I like my cheese pizza, okay? And everybody gives me shit because I want to order a cheese pizza. Now, I have the money. I'm not a charity case. I don't need your pizza, but I'm trying to participate in this social thing of the pizza day at work. Nobody wants the cheese pizza. Everybody wants the weird chicken hearts and fucking souffle pizza. Fine, they order all their weird pizzas and one charity pizza, one cheese pizza for me. You know what

happens, Dick? You know what happens? There's never one single slice of cheese pizza left with the everybody's eggs in. Everybody's eggs in. I am the one, I get all of the blame, all of the shame, none of the pizza. Yeah. Do you understand that?

Everybody gets their weird pizzas. There's tons of like all the fucking weird toppings at the order because they're so cool. They sounded good. They sounded good. They sounded good, but they look like a fucking train wreck. Nobody wants them. Nobody wants them. I think everybody's trying to out pizza one another.

You're like, oh, you like that weird pizza? I like this weird pizza and I put this shit on my pizza. And over here, the cheese pizza guy, I just wanna cheese pizza. Again, not a charity case. I don't need your pizza. I work. Oh yeah.

That was a good one. And the reason why people eat the cheese pizza is because everybody doesn't like the toppings that everybody else picked. So it's like if somebody hates mushrooms, they get a bunch of pies with a bunch of different shit on them. It's like, well, I don't want to eat that one. It has bell pepper. Well, this next asshole doesn't want to eat that because it's got mushroom on it.

And then this other asshole doesn't want to eat it because it has onions on it. And even your own pizza gets there, like your own artisanal pizza gets there. And you look at it and you're like, oh, this looks fucking gross. Because like I have this, and I'm sure a lot of other people have this, but don't tell you, I look at a menu and I have no idea what's going to come out. Do you remember when you used to just copy my order? Sean, I swear. I do that because everywhere I go, I will either,

if I'm with one person, I'll either listen to what they're thinking of ordering, like I'll always say, what are you gonna get? And it's always between one or two things or three things. I'll always either get the thing they didn't order or I'll pick what they wanted first. So then they'll talk about how good my, because I can't, dude, like the otherwise you order the wrong thing.

You could tell me, you could give me six in, six liquors and I will tell you exactly, I will talk for 10 minutes about what that drink will taste like. I know exactly how those liquors, you mix, you can tell gin, lottinum, a spirits of elderberry, a dramboey, amaretto, and tequila. And I will tell you exactly what that fucking drink will taste like. Like, I know exactly, I'll say, it needs lime. You need to put a lime, you need to put a lime on the edge

and you need to put a little cinnamon dab on your hand. You need to take a little snort of cinnamon and then a lick of lime and then you have that drink. And we call that the, we call it a cannonball. That's called Dix Cannonball, that drink that I just described. But when it comes to food and spices, I have no fucking clue. You could say a piece of bread with butter on it. I'm going to say, I don't know. What is, where's this from? I've never had, I've no idea what's gonna come out. Yeah.

So the people who are doing that, when they're ordering pizzas, they're doing that, seeing all these ingredients, and then the pizza shows up, and it's instant buyers remorse, where's the cheese? I'm gonna go fuck over Izzy, who's got the cheese. And you've got no risk recourse. Every time, every time, what pisses me off the most is that I'm the one putting myself on the like you tell people You know, I don't know See as it's happening to you. They look at you like you just admitted to molesting dogs on your free time So I get all of that shame. I have to put myself out there and everybody's having the pizza that I

I'm a pizza Jesus I'm a pizza myself. Yeah for your enjoyment of cheese pizza, that everybody claims that it's just, oh, it's just bread, it's just cheese, it's just pizza sauce. But if you break things down like that, a computer is just some plastic and some glass and some metal, shut the fuck up, it's delicious pizza.

Right, I have a question. Are you that pedophile from Pizza Gate? What the hell is up with that? It's so weird. It's one of those like, I just learned it. It's so weird. I just learned it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. file from Pizza Gate. What the name is? What's the name for that? Is that a weird one of those like,

I just learned about that. Pizza Gate. Yeah. You just learned about, I just learned about all the Satan rituals and, and, um, Pepeelia that's going on. Yeah. Spirit cooking or whatever. Spirit cooking.

Yeah. What do you, what do you think about that? Don't Pizza Gate thing. The only thing that I heard was like the bunch of people outside of this guy's pizza shop, like, think they're, he's running like a big pedophilia ring. Yeah, out of it. You couldn't like work. Yeah, like some network like a full on plenty of fish, but for government officials and

democratic party. Yeah, because there was an email, one of those Podesta emails, the guys were talking about how for entertainment, quote unquote, he mentioned kids jumping on the pool or whatever, it was kind of weird sounding. It was weird sounding. It was weird sounding. Yeah. Very weird sounding.

And then it's some other email he talks about quote unquote hot dogs and quote unquote pizza. And again, the context was a little muddle, but it's, it's not efficient, though, very least. It's like people be, I think it's people being too cute for their own good. Like all these stupid, silly, rich assholes out of touch. They're being cutesy and silly. Like it's like they get to a point where they have to make normal, doing normal things. They have to make them seem illicit to get a thrill.

So they talk about having these stupid spirit dinners where they're just having a regular dinner. What the fuck is a spirit dinner? So the satanic version is you're eating somebody. But the weird artsy version is, it's basically like an adult version of being an, an emo. Like they're pretending, they have like a weird, like they pretend they're making food with, with milk and semen. And it pretend they're making food with milk and semen.

And it's really just like human breast milk and semen. But it's really just regular cow milk and cow semen. I'm joking on the cow semen part. It's just really just regular ingredients. So it's like making food, but they're pretending. But then pretend like the leaves. Like the leaves. Like the crackers are actually the body of Christ.

And it like really stupid type of religion. What did you say is he? It's kind of like that, but there isn't like the whole institution out around it yet. It's the very same kind of like make believe like elbow each other type thing. It's just yeah, coagulated into a full blown belief system. It's just some goofy broad that does like performance art or whatever.

And her friends were like, go to going to see it and have to pretend that it's very artistic. But it's so, it's so elitist and sheltered because her whole, this, this chick, that he's this, this, this, so quote unquote, broad that is he's talking about. She does these, she did this art installation

where she sat at a table and said, you could, or just laid on a table and said, you could, or just laid on a table and said, you could do whatever you want to me. And it's in all these, you know, all these assholes came and there was all these like, implements of torture around her. But of course nobody did anything. There was a gun apparently. She said, I remember reading about it. Yeah, it's all just, it's like, it's shitty rich people art where you go and then nobody's gonna do anything. She's never in any real danger because in the statement she's making is obvious.

She does shit like that. This whole pizza gate has blown up because all these idiots are just being too cute with the way they talk about things that are dumb. They're just pretending to be Satanist. Or I guess maybe that pretending to be Satanist or I guess maybe that does make you Satanist. I don't know. But it's just, that's what it seems like to me anyway. Izzy, thank you for the call. My man, what are we calling you? Mr. No, Brian. Uh, yeah. Izzy, Mr. No, Bri, on YouTube, I'm Mr. No, Bri on Twitter. Yeah, Mr. No, Bri is, it works fine. All right, buddy. I'm going to get the, I'm going to get the champion back on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Right. Yeah. Good rage. Yeah right, buddy. I'm going to get the champion back on.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good rage. Yeah, good rage. Thank you so much. Let me see if I can find this. Totally seeing that. It's not just pizza either.

It could be somebody, you know, you order a bunch of different kinds of like whatever food. It's like, oh, yeah, I want all this shit and then all of a sudden, yep, the old classic is the one that everybody takes. Yeah. Like, God, should've ordered more of that. Somebody always says that. Always throwing another pizza. Yeah.

I know. Especially if it's at a party where people are drinking, because that appetite's going to go way up. You're not going to have enough pizza. What's next? The champion. So what's going to happen is the champs going to return the next week and then a new challenger is going to come challenge them and then people are going to vote to see who comes back.

So this is Blast Johnson? Yes, this is Blast Johnson. Is this Blast Johnson? Yes, this is Blast Johnson. The undefeated Blast Johnson. Congratulations on your victory last week. You smell terrific. Thank you.

So I don't know if you heard me explain the rules to Sean, but this is how it's going to work. The winner every week is going to come back and defend their title against the new challenger with a new, with a new rage topic. And since you've scored, you are dominating the board. You are above Denzel. You are above my man. You are above my life coach. The only, I mean, you're third, you're number three, buddy. You are above Denzel. You are above my man. You are above my life coach.

The only, I mean, you're third, you're number three, buddy. You're bronze. You're a bronze dog. You're above coach. So I hope you've got something titillating for this week because what we've just heard was, was pretty passionate in theory, inating are you ready my friend is ready for a big a ton a dick hey hey okay three two

one go okay my way to this week is about the bedroom starfish at the problem i've had with about two thirds of the women i've slept with and uh... works out like this so you finally get up to the earth to ask attractive young you finally get her back to your place you start making out and there's good for play plenty of excitement in the air

and then they can come to your clothes and everything seems to be going find so far you get her into your bedroom and then she does her best impression of a starfish on my king size mattress yeah not much help and for her she's already done for the night for me i'm just starting at this point and so there's this huge disconnect between us and she's she's laying there just waiting for you to do it so you decide to make the best of a bad situation

you got to get in there and you got to get started but you realize when you're going that she's not saying anything to you so you try to use some dirty talk but she doesn't respond with any of her own and then you realize that you're calling every position you're the one who's doing all the work you're the one who's doing any switch in the go and she's not engaging you at all it's like she has absolutely no idea i have to do in bed

wait a minute are you think it might just be like first time jitters yeah because you know you just met this woman uh... you try for a couple weeks but you just can't make things work with this girl she's just not doing anything in bed so you end up having to break it off with her in like two or three weeks and then she calls you an apple and i don't know what's wrong with these women that i'm right have time time time time wait a minute wait a minute i thought you were going

to i thought bregy starfish was going to be something else me too yeah because you're your blast blast you're talking about getting a chicken to bed who just lays there like a dead fish in my right yeah i've also called the uh... pillow princess pillow princess yeah that is bad what i thought you were talking about is after you were done, let's say this chick is a hellcat in bed, after you're done, she tries, she's doing jumping jacks, she's trying to make a bed angel, she's trying to touch every four corners of the fucking bed and grab onto it like a, like one of those wall clinging things. And you are stuck as a man huddled in a man reservation

like we'd have if Hillary Clinton had won the election. You're stuck there curled up like a cat while this bitch spreads out. And you can't push them over for summary. This is what, because this happens to me all the fucking time. I mean, I really thought of doing this. You know what a construction site what, a construction site,

have they'll have one of those laser levels that does, that's twirls. At a construction level. So, to keep the roof even, to keep the ceiling even, to keep everything at the same level, they will mount this little laser level, just so everybody knows what I'm talking about.

Tor, on the wall, the level of a little device on the wall and the device will send around a laser beam in circles around the wall, the level of a little device on the wall and the device will send around a laser beam in circles around the room so that everybody doesn't, so you don't get one shelf that's a foot from the, the top of the ceiling and one that's like 22 inches. You're like, well, way to go, assholes, it's level, but it's totally off, right?

So this is what they developed, is I wanted to take one of those laser levels and put it on the ceiling in my bedroom Right right down the middle of the bed so that when 80s girl starts encroaching on my fucking territory like a bedroom Hitler My side of the fucking bed I can go yo bitch laser eye out, cut it right down the middle of the bed, like a James Bond supervillain chopping James Bond in half, and you better over this line, you do not fucking cross. Do not tread on me. Do not tread on me at bedtime, because I'm very tired, and I'm gonna get that laser beam out. I'm gonna get that laser beam out, cut it right down the middle of the bed, like a James Bond supervillain chopping James Bond in half half and you better over this line, you do not fucking cross. Do not tread on me.

Do not tread on me at bedtime, because I'm very tired. And I'm actually, I'm being generous in cutting the bed in half because I'm fucking bigger. I'm bigger than you. I'm fatter than you. I need more room.

I need a lot of night terrorists wiggling around and throwing my legs around like a night horse. That's what I thought you were talking about with bedroom starfish. But your talking about just chicks who are bad and bad. Yeah, just boring, boring chicks. I have a theory on this. Go ahead. Cause you fucked a lot of chicks.

Am I right? Am I right? Yeah, tons and tons of every disease. Let's get that clear first. You fucked a ton. We, yeah, we go ahead. No, my theory is that most guys won't complain to the girl. So most women think they're better in bed than they are.

Yeah. Does that make sense? I think it's definitely that. I think another problem is that uh... beautiful women i think don't expect that they have to do anything i think that they feel like you're doing you a favor and so just lying there is enough uh... could be could be

i think i've heard out of korela talk about a thing have you ever heard him talk about chick hot shot i don't want to plug other podcasts on this show. I don't like talking about any other podcast on this show. Only my podcast. And never what did Adam Corolla say? No, he was talking about some girls think they're a lot hotter because they're, they're really hot friends tell them how hot they are. Yeah, they know that this girl is not as hot as them.

So they're actually, they don't feel threatened at all. So they just go, They know that this girl is not as hot as them, so they're actually, they don't feel threatened at all. So they just go, oh no, you're so hot. I don't know what's wrong. So it's like, no, you're hot to other chicks who are not threatened by you. And I think a lot of guys don't complain. They don't vocalize it to the girl.

And. Yeah, but see, that doesn't satisfy me. No. Because even if you complain, I just think that my chicks think they're better and better than they are. But see, doesn't satisfy me. No. Because even if you complain, I just think that my tricks think they're better and better than they are. See, here's the thing. I think it's hard on its own to be good and bad.

Like I compare it to dancing. Cause you know, I'm a Mexican, I'm a half-Mexican man. So I like degenerate things like dancing and hooting in the street. And I would love a low writing pickup truck. I don't want to admit that, but oh man, I would fucking love it with big, weird stuff down the side. A big Jesus painted on a Tweety Bird mudflap shirt.

I would love that shit. And I love dancing. And it is very hard to find a chick who's good at dancing and they all do the same kind of stuff dancing poorly that they do in bed. Like they'll do nothing on the dance floor. They'll just sit there doing their thing. And it's like you you you say to them like what are you doing? I heard that this poorly and they can't like do they can't just do better. I heard that 20 years ago. Somebody told me that 20 years ago or so and it's true. What's that exactly what you're saying?

That dancing equates to sex. Yeah, a lot of the time. Yeah, I mean, and I have all the same Problems with the way women dance in general in the way they fuck like it's it's a it's a one-to-one ratio for me All right, Blast. Thanks for calling in you won So do you want a shout out for anything? I mean, I'll give you win you you brought the rage you want to give a shout out to anybody or plug something no I don't have any internet presence or anything so spoken like a true champion yeah good just walk off into the sunset with your victory all right buddy thanks for calling in we'll see if maybe we'll talk to you next week maybe we won't we don't know who knows see? So yeah, black. All right.

Let's get to some fan stuff. Reddit, Reddit's been interesting this week. Sovosh is back. Oh yeah. Remember Sovosh? Yeah, sure. The guy that called him in and disappeared.

Yeah, he did. He did a self-stomping. I hope he sticks around. I really want him to call in. I really want him to call in and get on the board and see if he still hates Dustin. I don't know. Maybe he does.

That's right. Now I remember the call. He was the guy who, so Vash was the guy who hated Dustin, so he called in. I thought he did a good job, but he was harder than himself. Damien was on Reddit, stuttering Stanley, everybody's making fun of him, but he seems to be taken and stride.

I think you kind of have to, because you're just gonna get, you know, if you get super defensive and stuff, it's gonna just whips people up into a frenzy. Yeah, and it also shows that you think it matters when it doesn't. Yeah. Like, you know, give me a break.

Lago Morph, he did, because I've been talking about, I mean, we already kind of talked about it, but I mentioned that this show got more downloads than Maddox's show. Or I found that out. I was just talking about how great this show was doing. And somebody, a dickhead said Maddox was doing worse. His show was getting less downloads. So this lag of morph, I don't know, I don't know if this was the reason, but it's just a coincidence. He went through, he's like a big numbers guy for a big company. Like he does all their

accounting. He's like a super accountant, right? He probably has a C in front of his name in the real world, you know, like CIO, CFO, I mean, big, big, big, big, big brain on this guy, on this lag of morph guy. He went through and looked at all of Maddox's social presence accounts and found that every video he's done has caused a loss in subscribers over the over the last three months. So Maddox makes a video, posts it, his subscribers go down. Really? Oh yeah, let me, let me find this.

I'll read you some of the gems of it. It's really fucking good. Okay, here we go. Here's Lagomorph's, let me find this. I'll read you some of the gems out. It's really fucking good. Okay, here we go. Here's Laga Moraf's autopsy. It says tracking Maddox's demise with data. I'll link to this because it's interesting data stuff. Maddox's video, your alternative news site sucks. Net subs, negative 800 loss when you post that video.

Top voted comments, which is like on YouTube, post comments and other people vote them up. Nice video. See you in two months. Oh, Maddox, what an awful video. You completely missed the point of the disdain for the mainstream. 300 votes. Next video, sexual costumes are for winners.

Loss, a thousand losses, a loss of a thousand subscribers. Top voted comments, scrape the bottom of the barrel harder. The election videos, a loss of 400 subscribers. Twitter it's the same Facebook. It's, well, it's satisfying for me to see that Facebook loss has continued because every fucking month that asshole would take me aside and blame me for his Facebook subscribers and likes going down because I was too offensive to women was this fucking quote.

So it's great. It's very interesting. His conclusion is that the best thing for Maddox to do on his creative platform is to just stop posting content that other than that, his subscribers are just continuing to decline. I gotta say I agree with that. Let's see. Anna says when we're last week,

I was talking about the 40 hour work week and what a joke it is. Anna says, listen. I've got a lot of comments on, I mean, just, you know, people who listen to the podcast, friends of mine and stuff like that. They're like, I'm kind of like me. I never really thought of it that way.

Yeah. But it's like, why do you need a 40 hour work week? You don't. Yeah. I mean, like if, well, the problem is partly that no one who works is honest about how much they're working. Yeah. And that there's just this kind of dogma that employers have thinking that you have to

work 40 hours a week. Because it's always been, or it's been for a long time. Yeah. And like, I was thinking, when I was thinking about it last week and actually looking up the stats on like, how much sticking around people do at work and like, why 40 specifically, like, where did this come from? Yeah. It made me think about all these, all these CEOs who try to look like superheroes by like cutting their

salary. So the CEOs say, well, I make so much more. I'm going to cut my giant CEO salary and spread it out among my employees, right? And that's always stupid because you're rewarding the people who are worthless. Like you're artificially raising, you know, like if you're one of the winners in the organization, if you're one of the people doing all the work, you just got chipped. Yeah. Like you should get more than the people who don't do shit, right? Yeah.

It's like, it's just introducing ill will among all, and first of all, it's introducing ill will. Secondly, it's not that much money. Like a million bucks to one person means a lot, but you split it among a hundred people. Sure, and it's like, what, I'm making an extra thousand bucks a year. Yeah, when you get to, that's medium to large companies. Yeah, that's not very much.

That's fucking nothing. However, if those same CEOs would cut everybody's hours by five a week, like on Fridays, you got to go home out noon. Yeah. Dude, that get to go out noon. Dude, that would be a big deal. Well, I was thinking things like overhead costs for the company and stuff like that. Yeah, that's gotta add up.

I mean, you get a, what if you've got a 45, you know, 50,000 square foot office, something like, I mean, the overhead on areas like that are, I would think a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody's going to get the work done in fewer hours.

Especially, yeah, especially outside of the Senate. 32 hour work weeks. So this guy sent in Oscar, Oscar Harrelson and Dick, I agree, 100% with your statement on the shorter work week. My father drove trucks for a variety of companies for over 30 years. Two years ago, he joined the Teamsters Union and saw an immediate increase in salary and over. Oh, God, he doesn't have to work at all.

Well, he's a fucking teamster. He's saying that they started doing that to help to keep the truck drivers from trying to kill themselves by getting paid per mile. Yeah. Like, that's what, whatever you think about it now, like whatever your opinion is, whatever your immediate reaction is now, it started as a way for the teamsters to keep an eye on the truck drivers and make sure they're not fucking around and driving dangerously and to look out for the truck drivers. Yeah. So they didn't have to do these insane, anyway, he says, the unions paid for the unions. Actually, the unions paid for the 40-hour work week with their blood, see the battle of

Blair Mountain or the Ludlow Massacre. I would definitely not credit Henry Ford for inventing weekends as there were plenty of men, women and children who died before he had the concept of being a decent person. Buying us in there, the virus in there. Unfortunately, once the labor started going overseas and the government mandated a 40-hour work week, the unions lost a bit of steam, and they were never able to get the 40-hour law abolished.

Interesting. I would check out the inheritance if you're interested in watching a good documentary on labor unions in the US. Yeah, I don't know. It's interesting. It's definitely the few things, right? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm gonna get some fun stuff now. Do you know do you remember the numero per dito? No, the guy he made this

He animated a rant He animated me talking about mansplaining. I think I gave him some audio. He's done to yeah, he's done two more Yeah, he's done another mansplaining one and he's animated the Dick Tails theme song. You wanna see it? Yeah. All right, let me pull it up for you. The people in the live chat won't be able to see it, but it'll be on the final video.

There you go. Cool. We'll bring it to the front. What? The video. Oh, there you go. Okay. What you've got.

So that's you on the left. And your job shit. If you think your life is bland, there's a dick tip. You don't need as much thinking. Just stop the giant bottle of liquor. So there's you, you're on the left, the other guy's coach. Oh, and I think that he's got a chicken head because he's too chicken to show his face on the camera or talk about his Twitter. There's got an amoeba. Pretty funny. It's crazy, there's a bit of syrup.

There's my man. Oh no. Shitting your dad's under, or an extinct tail. Woo! So that guy, the guy in the background with the crown is mad at. If you, yeah, look, so he's this shadowy guy in the background,

trying to fuck me over. That's a, that's a pretty cool, great. It's great, look at that throne. Yeah. Thrown made a knives, it's the game of throne, life coach has It's great. Look at that throne. Yeah. Thrown made a knives. It's the game of throne.

Life coach has all the money. You... Oh, there's a tombstone with Maddox's crown on it. That's hilarious. The Facebook group did a Mary fucking kill. Oh, yeah. I won. You won.

Mary. Oh, this is Facebook? Yeah. Okay. Facebook wants to marry you. I won. It was the third. I want a stereo. I mean, you and a stereo stated Mary fucking kill on. I won. Fuck. Okay. I think that's what this is. Yeah. You won Mary. You won Mary. You were very close, though. You people wanted to marry and fuck you. You barely got outmarried by fucking. So your Mary votes were all your fuck votes were almost as high as your

marry votes. And people got to pick. Yeah, that's a tough choice. My fuck those are two good things. Yes, my fuck one thing, you can almost no kill votes. I got a con. I got as many kill votes as I got marry votes. No shit. Asterios was kill. It looks like by, by about four or five times, all the other ones. He got a couple, he got a couple marries, but, but not many fucks. I don't know why. Well, guy, that guy, he probably fucks like a demon. Uh, let's probably yells a lot. Bridget Wilson said, I voted to fuck dick, but I remembered that he possibly has Climidia. And I know he wouldn't use a condom. Did he ever get tested?

I mean, we'll never know. They also did this, somebody on Reddit did a hundred years newspaper. I'll post all these on the show page. I wish there was a way to, we gotta do like a segment where we involve the chat room more. Although, I don't really think that needs to be in the show. I always just forget.

I get so into being pissed off about how I have to fight and struggle for bed space every night. I get so care, I just see that. I like start blinking my eyes and going back in time. They wanna hear about the getting kicked out. Oh, no, it's too long. It's too long. No, you know what? I'll tell it next time, Coach is on.

Okay. Because it happened with him. It happened with him. And that story, the time that I got coach and I kicked out of Flight of the Concords was, that was one of the biggest hangover disasters I've ever been through. Really? Yeah. Wanted to die?

Well, I woke up. I got kicked out of Flight of the Concords. The last thing I remember was being in Flight of the Concords in the show. My life coach looked up, we were right front and center, front and center in the Flight of the Concords in the show, my life coach looked at, we were right front and center, front and center in the flight of the Concords. It was a small venue. I think it was the, the will turn.

No, it was the Peter Fonda theater. No, Henry Fonda. Right. Peter Fonda. Yeah, not Peter Fonda. I don't, I don't think it was that theater though. I think it was, it could have been the Peter Fonda. I think it was the will turn.

That would be a small theater. Oh, it was it. Okay. I think it would have been that have been the Peter. I think it was the Wheelchair. That would be a small theater. Oh, it was it. Okay, I think it would have been that. Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. I forget. No, the Wheelchair, no, that's a good size.

Yeah, it was in the Wheelchair. Because the Wheelchair is a lot bigger than this place. There was seating only, there was one wheel right. The L-ray. No, I could find it. If you got me drunk and told me to drive you there, I could find it. Yeah, but I don't know where it is. No, they've studied that. When you learn things, and told you told me to drive you there, I could find it. Yeah, but I don't know where it is You know they've studied that that when you learn things when you're drunk that you have a better chance of recalling them when you're drunk

And so I know they said they studied it on beer fest, but I don't know if that was scientifically true. Yeah, well, I think I'm just putting it out there It sounds it sounds true We'll go with that. So we were sitting the probably the fifth row coach and I, and the last thing I remember was coach turning to me and saying, and this has happened many times since then, he said, you think it's cool if we light a joint in here? And I just grabbed the joint out of his joint. And this was, marijuana was illegal in California at this time. You have to understand.

Right. So what I was doing was a crime. Yeah. You know, I just grabbed the joint out of his pack and put it on my mouth and lit it up right there and started smoke. And I, that was the last thing I remember. It was like, when I pulled in that joint, it was like smoking in another person. Put you over the top.

Yeah, the, the, your piss drunk. I used to like to do that. The Mr. Jekyll or the Super Jekyll, or the Mr. Hyde, usually I'm Mr. Hyde, but when I smoked that joint, I was Mecca Hyde. That's when the even worse asshole came out. That's the last thing I remember. And my brain rebootedoted her came back online.

I was in my car with the door open, covered in vomit, like vomit everywhere. I had no idea what to do. Well, and you got to figure out who vomited on you. Yeah. Didn't take long to figure that out. Oh, unless they also vomited in my mouth. Well, and also drink as much, also drink as much Gatorade and vodka as I did right before the flight of the Concord's concert. I'll tell the whole story when he's thinking about, because he has a way better memory of it than me. Probably so, thinking about hangovers like that

still turns my stomach to this day. Oh, because you are El Soberino. Yeah, where I just I remember that. And it's like it's one of the worst feelings in the world. When you, oh, man, there's, there's like a handful of them. I've had them go on for two full days, two full days and a full day. What's your, uh, what's your way? How do you get over hangover? How do you do it? Oh, well, how did you use to? Drink more.

Yeah. This is the only thing that works. Yeah, you got to like, win yourself down. But I have noticed that as you, when you do hit those, when you do drink the next day, when you do have those first, like my skin just feels like leather rubber. Like it just, it feels, it feels like the floor of a gym. You know, like, it feels like it's ready to peel off.

Well, alcohol permeates all the cells. All right, I'm gonna play a couple more of those celebrity calls. Gotcha. Please stand by for a call from the president of the UCB theater. Oh! Well, well, well.

Hello, Dick. Just wanted to wish you a not congratulations on one million downloads. Allow me to educate you. Rape jokes are like always wrong unless the person making them can like help your career in some way. Then like oh my god, that's like so satirical. Like how ironic. You know, I love to get together and write some time, you know, shoot the shit, brainstorm some pilots, what have. Just, you know, forget about how I blew up on Twitter for

like basically no reason okay again shame room I hang it up too yeah I guess soundboards can be funny hey there dickie wiki it's your Mr. Sin, just wishing you a hip-hop, happy million downhodes my handsome little man. You've got mail. Oh, I just got some electronic mail. Dear Dick's mom, your son maintains it. What? Well, cheese and crackers, Dick.

Now, what did I tell you about maintaining a rape list? Oh, why couldn't you be more like that nice boy George? You know, the one who makes the t-shirts, the glorified child abuse. Mr. Hill, you are going to march right up to your room and no booze for you for a week. Well, I let you go. Your dad's underpants are filled with dookie again. You know, we always happens when you visit over the holidays.

Yeah. Well, too, Lou. You know, it is from the Midwest. Yeah, she is. That reminds me. Remember how I was ripping on those gildon shirts last week? Yeah, I do. Well, a lot of people are now have tweeted and Facebooked and whatever about how shitty,

like those, they never realized why some shirts are just shit. Check out the Hayden blaze sent this one. Until the last episode, I'd never even heard of the shirt brands you'd mentioned, specifically gildon who you said made very low quality shirts and they do. But I knew exactly what you were talking about and you described how the shirts feel like a brillo pad or whatever as you described it. I was thinking about this super uncomfortable NASA shirt. My parents bought for me while on vacation in some poor country and I never wear it because

it's uncomfortable as hell. And also I don't want to look like a proclaimed semi- and a self-proclaimed intellectual where it's an ass of shirts. Anyway, this morning I'm going through my shirts. Looking for it, look at this tag, Gilden, you can see the texture on the image, you can rub it together. It's got an audible scratchy sound.

Yeah, I know those shirts. This is, Maddox is selling these shirts. It was just me mentioning it. People are blowing up the thread on Facebook with, yeah, actually I did buy one of his shirts and it shrank two sides and it fucking sucks. They're saying, go on Facebook, you see for yourself. I'm a consumer advocate.

I want to make sure you're getting your money's worth. That's why you should go to shop.dictshow.com and buy shirts there because they're all high quality. High quality, Sean, Sean, you have one. Have and Buzzshirts there because they're all high quality. High, high quality. Sean, Sean, you have one. Have you worn it again? Yeah, I have a nice quality shirt.

It is. Blink twice if you agree with me that it's a nice quality shirt. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's a nice quality shirt. Okay. All right. This has been the DICK Show.

Check us out on thedickshow.com, patreon.com slash the DICK Show. Thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing on Patreon. I'm living in the house that thecom slash the dick show. Thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing on Patreon. I'm living in the house that the dickhead's built. See you next Tuesday. This closing theme is by Alaz502. Enjoy. Presenting... I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music. I'm not a fan of the do that. You wouldn't even know how to run it.

I don't think so. That's fucking cool, man. That's cool. Like that. Let's see, tell me if I played any of these last week. I don't have time to go through the voicemail this week sadly. Moving, making sure all the movers move everything like they're being paid to do.

Yo, it's Chris from Kentucky. Listen, Chinese Tony has some good points in all about the whole anti-boying thing. When I was a little kid, you fucking get in trouble for trying to defend yourself if you were being bullied. Like, some people call me fat. I be like, well, yeah, you're fucking failing student and your mom's dying and nobody actually likes you So I just feel bad for you and I was the one who didn't trouble for fighting back

I have a good student like a fuck man, but those bully types did not give a shit For if they got in trouble or well whether or not meanwhile I did so I believe on the establishment how the fuck you gonna raise kids to have a ball open you're gonna let them stand up for yourself what the fuck like man if I just flood those fucking pieces of shit kids probably dead now for fucking oxy hot and overdozes come to get it I can feel a lot better also if I were a teacher I'd fucking love to see the poor fat kids just flood one ofwater boy pieces shit right in their face just got volume and i'm a

all not to be that really show them but i know that all milleels rate rate five months of pussies that's what you got to do fucking panicking if they see crump name written in shot that's why you got cut very well that's why everybody's great the state should

afraid to fucking anything. Stand up for the self. God damn it. Yeah. It's real hard to yell in a fury into a cell phone. Because you don't know where, that's not natural. You don't know where the mic is ex... Like in the old phones, man.

That was a, you could put that bone right up to your mouth. You motherfucker, you screaming right into it. How dare you ever fucking say that to me? I never wanna talk to you again. You smash it down like this, the new ones, it's just, it's clipping in it. Even when you're at your most irate screaming at someone, you have to suffer the indignity of asking

if they heard you or not. You're like, well, did you fucking get it in? I was just, and they're like, drawing, you're like, just, I can't recreate that? And they're like, drawing, you're like, just, I can't recreate that performance. Yeah, it calms you down every time I think. It was spontaneous. I was in the moment.

I need you to know that I'm extremely pissed off as I say for this for the fourth time because the cell phone dropped every other time, but I need you to understand that you fucked up. That's, and you edit yourself. Like every time you have to repeat something on the cell phone, you cut it in half, and you cut it in half and cut it in half and you cut it so at the end you just you're not even a human anymore yeah you're not even you nope

hey dick it's fucking German Jason how you doing I'm fucking calling that what will make me a fucking rage right now I'm driving around and these motherfuckers that sit in parking lots like they own the fucking plate scratching off the fucking lot of tickets because they think they're gonna fucking make it And it's the only chance that they got for a good wife because the fucking poor is shit And they can't fucking work for anything and it's fucking pissing me off. I'm sorry I've already fucking said that I'm gonna fucking this call those 69 seconds Because the fucking oh now you're gonna fucking move your stupid fuck.

Oh my god. Yeah. Fucking idiot. Just call in the fucking way you know, hey, it was a momentary rage. But you know what? Fuck you. Fucking this reached 69 seconds. Go fucking sound.

Sean, you're an okay guy. You see, it just, it just drops off as soon as they start moving. Okay. All right, I'm an okay guy. You see, it just just drops off. As soon as they start moving, okay, all right, I'm done. Yeah, we'll play one more. Hey, Deg, this is Spicy Tony from Pennsylvania. I'm going to throw myself up on the rage board, just with those current incidents that just kind of happen. I'd like to call my rage,

powder keg douche bags, or if you want to put it in nitlycerin do you spagged either or these uh... big fucking assholes walk around nearly edge always constantly on the edge looking up for quick over the little is tiniest little fucking thing i'm talking about it do you got a problem walking into a gas station bathroom

uh... doors a little bit of a little bit locked better, a little bit locked, better shove it a little harder. So I shove it a little harder to open it up. Oh, there's a kid standing off to the left. There's a big ass douchebag standing behind it. We start to get into my face saying, hey, watch out with the fucking door. There's a kid here. Oh, yeah. How am I supposed to see through the fucking door and you're

blocking the fucking door? I'm 61250. This guy's big to me. My first reaction is, I'm not even the fucking face, but you can't do that because then I'm 61250. This guy's big to me. My first reaction is put you in the fucking face. But you can't do that because then I'm in the wrong. These fucking assholes walk around trying to intimidate and frighten people who are smaller than just for no fucking reason. Oh, I'm sorry, the door almost hit your kid, hit your fucking stupid kid out of the way, dude. These people they constantly pray on the weaker and the smaller than them just to intimidate

I don't know to maybe feel like they have a big dick for once in a while because they use too many steroids and shrunk them off These fucking people are animals. They need to be hung by the neck and shot Same time either or I think there was 69 seconds, but fuck it. I want to bet that out. Thanks, dude Have a good one. Oh, they need good. I know what he's talking about about about people who they put themselves in a position. It's their fault. Like you're standing behind a door. You know that door opens. Unless there's no other space in the room. And then they get pissed off when it's like, dip shit, you stood in the fucking doorway. What do you think's going to happen? Yeah. I think he's also talking about people who will jump on the opportunity to correct you

for doing something that somebody might have perceived as a slight, which is interesting because that was the story. That was what happened to me with the neighbor that I parked the car clearly in a hurry. It is, there is not a car in sight. It is like a plenty of parking. Plenty of parking. Looks like everybody's gone. Looks like everybody's on vacation.

Everybody's driven south for the winter. I look up the street, down the street, not a fucking car in sight. And he needs to correct me on my parking. As though this, like two strikes, maybe, maybe a, maybe a joking comment, two strikes, three strikes is the, hey, I gotta talk to you about something. Just wanted to let you know, maybe.

I would, and you know what bugs me about it the most is that it wasn't phrased as I would like you to do this. It was phrased like, we all do this. Yeah, you're not one of us. to do this. It was phrased like, we all do this. Yeah, you're not one of us. We do this. So you're gonna wanna do that. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You want me to do that.

I get it. I get how it benefits everybody. Yeah. Like I've been in, I dated this girl briefly again. Who was it? We had a huge, huge fucking rage problem, huge rage problem, bigger than me. She jumped out of her car and keyed a car

who left a little bit of remainder in front of them. She was in New York, she jumped out of the car, keyed the car because the guy left a little bit of remainder. And I was like, are you sure that there wasn't like a motorcycle there when they parked there? He just, he's like, no, fuck them. Okay. Yeah.

This is a stage right for me, but that's a little, but like I understand how to park. I just, it was the, it was that you're jumping, I know you're jumping on the opportunity to park, I just, it was the, it was that you're jumping, I know you're jumping on the opportunity to try, like I have a very highly tuned, sensitive, amateur for when I'm trying to be big leagueed. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I always, I think before anybody else, I know when you're trying to big league me, and I went from zero to bam. Like the toggle went boom, I know I'm're trying to big league me and as soon I went from zero to Bam Like the toggle went boom. I know I'm being big league and it's exactly what this fucking guy's talking about I know what the word for it is, but it's like there's just wait because people have anything to do Like these big guys these what he's talking about that they just think they need something you need a hobby They need a hobby and got for some reason. Guys just don't have hobbies anymore.

It's either watching TV or playing video games. Like you don't hear about guys working in their garage anymore. Like what do they do? People need something to do or they turn into total asshole. I still think we might be skewed here. Why we are skewed here. I mean, there's not a lot of people. I guarantee you in other parts of the country,

people are building shit. They're working on, you know, they're working on cars. They're working on, you know, there's not a lot of people, I guarantee you, in other parts of the country, people are building shit, they're working on cars, they're working on, you know, there's, people have hobbies, people. They do, but I think that they're, maybe not the youngest. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Testosterone's dropping, male suicides going up.

Yeah, some's going, these guys gotta get back to basics. Well, hey, we'll get there. Yeah, this is the one step at a time. This is a show that's going to do it fixing America, making it great again.