The Dick Show - Episode 272 - Dick on Running Out of Beer

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

Never running out of beer, Payment processors declare war on porn, Australia declares war on foster dogs, "you can't make this up!", Larry Elder's blackface, army medals, the Tesla bot, Chinese military training, fat women in the Victoria's Secret mailer, big boobs on the handicapped, the work-at-home switcheroo, Afghanistan veterans on suicide watch, getting a vasectomy, and how to invest in a world that is cartelized by the only remaining superpowers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Oh God, I would kill for a beer. I'm out of beer. Oh no. How'd you get out of beer? I'm right here. I'm right here. I think I haven't had a party in so long. Usually having parties replenishes my beer.

That's true, which is the only reason I have them. I can't stand these people. So people bring beer? Yeah, that's all it. That's a people will bring beer. And then I hide it all. And anytime somebody says, is there any beer, they'll're out?

No, totally out. We have jungle juice. No, in fact, I don't, I don't even drink anymore. Yeah. You have what juice? What? Jungle juice. What the hell's jungle juice?

Like a frat party that you get women shit faced with. It's a punch. Really? Never heard of jungle juice? No. It's a college experience, Sean. I guess. Remember, remember when we were younger,

it was like Jack Daniel's country cocktails. Yeah, which were essentially I think wine coolers. The malt liquor. Yeah, they're malt liquor. Which a lot of wine coolers were malt liquor. Yeah, they figured it out. Yeah, just cram sugar in this. Well, no, it'll drink that.

Some were malt, but I did. Yeah, marketing, marketing, marketing. Damn, that's a good cold open to, but I have to get a beer. Well, okay but I'm not. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You know, Skitso, the fan sent us a studio fridge for beers. Yeah.

But I don't like hearing the compressor during the show. So I put a switch in to turn it off during the show. Well, I forgot to fucking turn it back on because the only beer I have in there now is this, you don't ever run out of beers, okay? You don't? No. You don't run out of beers. One does not run out of beer.

One does not run out of beers. One just rolls their beer supply down does not run out of beers. One just, one bottles, their beer supply down to the undrinkable. This is, this is like a last call. We talked about this. Only fat brods left to drink.

If you haven't been shopping in a while, what you will eventually deem okay to eat in your pantry, like well, you passed over those fucking noodles, you know, three days in a row, and you're like, no, you know what, I could throw some days in a row. And you're like, no, you know what? I could throw some hot sauce in there. So I've got a peanut butter porter.

I've got a couple fruity sauer's. And you don't even have enough fruity sour. Because I've got a fruity sour beer upstairs that a fruity sweet brought over to my house during a party. Okay. My plan of using, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Look at this. Fucking peanut butter

porter on the rocks. Oh, how the mind is falling. This is this is this should be embarrassed by this. I'm embarrassed for you. This is not how a man of my means should be drinking and their own home. You are drinking like a complete. Oh, foster beer. Look at the mother fucker on the on the, on the, on the can. Well, now he's got a big old beard. Now wait a minute. This was sent in by a fan and I appreciate this was sent in a three pack of his giant as a dick master son. No, it's dangerous man brewing company for Minneapolis. I forget who sent it in. So I'm not going to say Minnesota has good beer. They do. I don't know if this peanut butter porter is one of them. Yeah. He, he silly is up there doing hand, I saw that hand reading, palm reading.

Right. I just need something to do with their time. I walked in and I thought, what is there like, learn Spanish? No, absolutely not. He's 80's girls and they're doing black palm. And I'm like, whoo, what did I just walk into? So she says she's got a big book of hand prints that I assume, you know, who else is

pretty venties probably in there. She wants me, she says, oh, Dict, do you want to do your hand prints on here? She's an artist, she's an artist. She's an artist, listen to me, he, he, I got smaller hands than Trump. Why the fuck would I want to put? I'd rather have it my dick pic getting unleashed

than the size of my hand dick print. Yeah. I'd rather have, yeah. Sure. I'd rather have a soft dick print, dickhead prints on here that I could draw a Darth Vader on an actual picture of my fucking hand. Are you getting me?

But of course I'm gonna do it. Sure, why not? Is this fun? Yeah. Anyway, you don on a dream. I asked a bunch of questions. You caught my interest. What about the palm reading?

Yeah, the palm thing. By the way, I got you a ledger, a cryptocurrency. Yeah, so people could send you cryptocurrencies. People could send you like, there's all their shit that's worthless now, and doj and stuff. Thank you. I set it up here.

Now you are incentivized to walk through the set up on your own. Look at this shit. You can Sean now you're off the grid like me and the rest of all and the Lerogel libertarian cock it cockass. We're all gonna need to be I guess at some point. Oh, you think yeah, you think what you want to I'm sure we're gonna talk about one of these things. Uh, this one you want to talk you want to talk about how Australia is rounding up and shooting dogs. You want to lead with that one? No. Let's lead with that one.

Here we go. Oh, and my car smells like a yeah. Welcome to the day. You want to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to new to get new to get new to get new to get 23 weeks running. Joining me as always is World Touring, comedian, LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. What's up, buddy? Thank you for joining me. Thank you everybody for joining me on this very unhealthy show.

Thank you for not killing yourself. Thank you for drinking peanut butter ale on the rocks in front of me. I will never, I will never forget this. Yes, peanut butter. Not even an IPA, I fucking thought it was an IPA. They were like, let's make a peanut butter beer. Let's make a peanut butter. Let's make a peanut butter beer. Let's make a peanut butter

Oh, let's make a peanut butter a. Oh, let's make a peanut butter stuff. Nope. It's not gonna be solved without a Literation it's we gotta come up or that's the only like a fucking peanut but it tastes like a peanut butter sandwich Doesn't really and it's the size of a peanut butter container. Is it too? A peanut butter jar. It's taller than a peanut butter container. Is it Is it too much? I like one of was my rug, but is it too much what? Not beer? Yes. I mean, is it too much fucking peanut butter?

Yeah. Did you need? It tastes great though. It's exactly what I needed. It's either this or a fruity sour. It's either this or a six pack of fruity sour is given to me by a dropped off, like a homeless animal shelter. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. You know why Sean you're never gonna believe why wait rounding up a bit there are already at the shelter no there are the shelter and they decided to shoot them dead. I thought to I thought people were adopting dogs like crazy during the pandemic. Okay, you had your chance in Australia now the dogs are dead. Australia is a fucking full on lockdown. Yeah people going door to door shooting kids full of vaccines and whatever else they've got on lockdown. Yeah. People going door to door, shooting kids full of vaccines and whatever else they've got on hand, they killed that they shot the dog so that workers would

not be tempted to leave their homes during the quarantine and go get the fucking dogs at the rescue. I feel like I'm I feel like I sent army guy cops around to shoot them. I feel like I'm getting not all of this story. I, why? This is the whole thing. I never do. They killed what possible reason could they have? This is WMDs, but for women, we should be launching a full out invasion of Australia.

Today. Oh boy. They're executing, they're executing, not just any dogs. So does get the dogs? Rescue dogs. Well, to just kill everybody. I don't know.

We'll figure that. We'll figure out the objective later. Don't you know how I do know how it works? Right, I do. In America. I do. Oh God. Meanwhile, my car is made first.

Ask questions later. God, my car smells like, I don't know if you saw a big pile of blankets outside my front door. I noticed no car smells like shit. We went to the dog beach with my sister. Oh, the there's one down in. Is it long beach roadies dog park or something? There's one next to like big huge portion of it is dog. All dogs. It's wild. All hundreds of dogs. Just off leash running. Jumping. Yeah. It's great because they're out. You take your dog

there. They're out for for the rest of the week. They can't even lift up their head. They can't even open their eyes. We can knock them the fuck out. We get saltwater poisoning. Well, so my sister's dog, seriously, you never do that. You never can happen, right?

Saltwater poisoning. Oh yeah, dogs that spend hours and hours in the ocean. What's up? They can die? Oh yeah. Well, great. It does happen because they's up? Oh yeah. Yeah. Well great. It does happen. I'm worried about that.

They end up getting enough. So water in their body. Yeah. Well my sister's got enough. He maybe he got it because he starts, he's running around looking all worried. And he starts like shooting like little squirts of shit out of his asshole.

Oh no. He's running around. So I had buried my nephews. So they start freaking out, right? Because he's running around in no. He's running around. So I had buried my nephews. So there you start freaking out, right? Because he's running around in circles, just squirting out, not sitting down and shitting him out. So it's like a little salt-butter problem. But a rain bird, right?

I know. But, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, so they're trying to push him, they're pushing him on my blanket and all of my stuff. Like what the fuck? This is my sister goes, oh he's peeing everywhere. What do you, why do you think that pee is brown,

is diarrhea green and shoots out of a butthole? What kind of pee have you been seeing that shoots out of your ass? This is not a biology major. Not a, why don't you trust the science on this one? Yeah, that's right. So I throw them off my towels and my brother-in-law takes him to go. He should be on the sand, right?

Well, Sean, I mean, I don't know. That's the government property. You know what I'm saying? Why would she encourage her dog to shit, die real all over the government's property when there's a perfectly good my stuff right there? So my brother-in-law grabs the dog, tries to take it down to the beach, and about 10 steps in, it's just like a geyser.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. The dog is projectile shitting. Yeah. Now this is, this is your brother-in-law's dog. Yeah.

Yeah, they didn't want to bring it. I insisted they bring. It's like, oh, you can't leave the job here. Oh, well, come on. You got to's dog. Yeah, yeah, they didn't want to bring, and I insisted they bring. It's like, oh, you can't leave the job here. Oh, come on, you got to bring it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. So worse that can happen. Well, projectile. Yeah.

Geyser of shit. Even you weren't thinking that far. So whatever we pack everything up, put it into the car, I got it really fucking reeks in this car. You got to worry about the dog on the way at home too, because he probably ain't done. Well, that's not my problem anymore. My dog's asleep, my dog's a little bit more sturdy.

If I get in the car like, wow, really stinks, roll the windows down. As soon as I get home, I get to empty all this stuff out. What the fuck? When does I get home? I get to empty all this stuff out. As soon as I get home. Oh, I get out.

Get out of the car. Well, the dog's all sandy. I better give the dog a bath first, right before I can. Then I got to, as soon as that's not, as soon as that's done, I got to get a whole car. Because it's full of stinks. Shit, right now. It's fucking still kind of a new car. So kind of a new car, like it's a not stink like get.

Watch the dog, oh man, that was rough, gotta dry this dog off, dogs everywhere. Blankets, sheets are all fucking, I gotta rinse myself off now. Soon as I do that, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, car, I gotta do something with the car. Okay, shower's over, I feel pretty good, watch my hair. I gotta have a drink, I got to do something with the car. Okay, shower's over. Oh, I feel pretty good, wash my hair.

I got to have a drink. I'm all the soreness of the beach and being 40s, being is now syncing in. I got to have a drink and then I got a, I got a mumpty. I got to do something. I got to do something. Yeah. Halfed away through the first drink.

Like, man, I got, I know, I, it was, watch, I think it was going Twitter is what I had to remember to do. Yeah. Go on Twitter, I wake up this morning. Order some beer from Amazon. Order some beer. I wake up this morning. The peanut butter porter.

I wake up this morning. Oh no. Go out to the car. Oh God, damn it. The windows are up and everything. Yeah, of course. At least it hasn't been 100 degrees like it's been here recently. No, at least I thankfully it was all muggy and wet.

So it smells like someone shit in the shower in my car. Is it just like, but you didn't get any like, stuff the other dog shit on your towels or anything, right? It's just like all on the, all of my stuff. It's all on all of my stuff. Oh it is. All of my towels, my big night towels. Oh that's like those big night towels.

I can't explain it all of my stuff. Oh God. You can just have to go trade that car in. Yeah, it's done. That's like those big, nice, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, Oh! Speaking of smells, you'll never guess who texted me last night saying, hey, do I stink? Hey, do I stink? Hey, do I stink? It was Mr. Vito texted me saying, hey, do I stink? Yeah.

I think he's gonna tell that story at another episode on the next episode of the biggest problem. Why, somebody told somebody. He got like a fight with somebody like, dude, you stink. No, I don't ask dick. I don't, yeah, I was the one that he came to, like, look, I like dude you stink no, I don't ask dick. I don't yeah I was the one that he came to you like look I gotta ask you a serious question. Yeah, do I stink? Yeah Sometimes I mean sometimes yeah

Little bit a little bit a little bit now now you do you do now now you do yeah Bad but he asked well, you know now now you're just. Yeah. Not bad, but he asked. Well, you know, he said, I'll tell the story in the next biggest problem. By the way, biggest problem. The episode eight should be up now. Biggest problem.show.

Patreon.com slash biggest problem. I brought in payment processors. That's what I was getting at. That's what I figured we were going to talk. That's what you want to talk about today. Well, that's what I figured we would be talking about that. Well, why not? Only fans is now prohibited from selling sexual content because the rule master card told

them was, well, you got to get a consent form for everybody that's having any kind of sexy, penicizing, sexy time on your platform. And they said, well, that's totally impossible. Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean a consent form? Mastercard like that South Park episode where the guys, that's totally impossible. Yeah, right. What do you mean? What do you mean a consent for? A master car like that South Park episode where the guys, the fat God chicks to sign consent for. Like that fucking satirical joke.

Yeah. You want us to do that? You shit heads. Well, you got to get a, hey, we're trying to meet you halfway. Yeah. So what else do people use only fans for? Like, well, they use it. I know. They use it for parasocial relationships. It's just chicks taking pictures themselves.

That's what I mean. I mean, you know, it's sexual content. I mean, that's like this. It's not, it's not all sex. That's a bread and butter. Oh, no, I know. And like they saying, but the way that I read it, I just skimmed over it briefly, but they're like, well, we'll still allow nudity, but no like sexual.

Yeah, you can't bang it out. Over it. Yeah. So, like nipples around. But some of these, like, well, we'll still allow nudity, but no like sexual. Yeah, you can't bang it out. Over it, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no sports pratteler, testifier, other women that I'm that one that I was wearing our shirt. So I showed you last time, Lisa Bukowski. But for the dogs, for the pigs of the world, for the unlockables and the untouchables and the unfuckables, for the women who look like beasts, for the women who look like shaved beasts,

for the women who, and this is most, this is almost all women except for those three that I named. That's the science says that. For them, it's not so easy. They can't just put on a cute Pokemon top. Talk about oppression and get 20 bucks a month. You need to put in a little more, right? No, they need to show penetration. They need to show

defilement. Where are these where are these broads going to be now working at McDonald's, sitting there serving you your food. I don't want to see that while I'm eating. Nobody does. Now what? Payment processors. That was my problem on biggest problem. It's they're the banks. They're the banks. The reason I know, they've basically, I mean, it's without actually legislating it. I mean, they are the keepers of like morality. Well, they did legislate Obama.

Patriot Act and Obama said, you guys gotta watch out. You bamin' process, you banks, you gotta watch out for this stuff. We don't know how to do that. Like, well, they get out. It's fuckin' law. They so they cobbled together a collection of that creep under

a bunch of Bush who started the Patriot Act. But then Obama said, actually, Operation Choke Point actually stalled as a firearms hate speech, not just terrorism. It's also a bunch of other goofy stuff. Yeah, it crept. And I'm like, well, we didn't stop the terrorism. So what makes you think, so the banks assembled these little black box teams behind the scenes. I've talked about before that it's just like they're, they're, they're, they're getting paid six figures, right? They're compliance managers. They're paralegals.

They're the, they're the person who explains to you. Longer reservation is not getting filled. Yeah, sure. They're the person who explains to you why they fucked up. That's the only interaction you'll ever have with this person is, well, my day's fucked. Can you tell me why? Yeah. Well, turns out, we thought you were money laundering.

$300. You thought I was money laundering? $300? That's the most offensive. Yeah. For the amount. That was laundering money. Yeah.

$300. I'm buying my friends. Cryptocurrency passport. You think I don't have a lot of fucking money? You idiot. And then very next fucking day, the, what is this guy's name? Owen Shroyer, he's on the, he's on info wars, I think. He's getting indicted for being at the Capitol on the self-guided tour, okay?

And go fund me, shut down his legal defense fund. I go, I'd like to be able to raise some money for getting railroaded by the government. Being an outspoken journalist for the political side, political side that's not currently in power, I'd like to be able to raise a little money on that and they said, no, no, payment process just says no.

Too hot. Crazy. Yeah. Well, I mean, it happened to hot. Crazy. Yes. Yeah. Well, I mean, it happened to you, and it's just going up the ladder. It's going up. But, but, but, but, but, but, but,

I got vaccine carted at a bar last night. Did you? Yeah, I, I, um, I, I killed the guy, I folded him home. Really? Yeah. Vaccine carted at a bar. Mm-hmm.

I didn't know that was a thing we were doing. I didn't know that way. No way. Yeah. First of all, I went to one bar and got told while I was waiting outside to get to go in to get drinks to make sure I have my mask on. So I was already in a really bad mood. Yeah, sure. Right.

Because you don't have to be, it's the over-salesiness that kills me, bud. I understand that we're both in this together. So wanting you just maybe let me get, let me get all the way up to the bar. And maybe when I'm done ordering, then say, hey, by the way, you gotta put your mask. Why not? Not before I get in, you prick.

The vaccine, the guy asked me like, hey, do you have your, actually, let me take that back. It was a Nicholas Cage fan day, fan club day. And you have to have a Nicholas Cage fan club card to get in. Now, I am a member of the Nicholas Cage fan club. I know. But, you know, I refused to be registered.

So I was going to print my own fan club card at home. I got a laser printer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's 120 pound paper to print out my Nicholas Cage official member of the Nicholas Cage fan club card. Well, because you wanted to last,, you want it to little thicker stock. Yeah, I wanted to look like the real deal. Nicholas Cage sends out real Nicholas Cage fan club cards.

And I want mine that I printed home to look like the real thing. I didn't want to be in there. I was like, you don't want to be, you know, people can tell the knockoff Nike's, you know, I mean, so I get the paper, I get the printer, try to run it through paper, GM paper, GM. Okay, done. I'm done. I tried my best done. I'm pulling out. Okay. So I get the paper, I get the printer, try to run it through, paper, GM paper, yeah, because it's under $2 million. I tried my best done. I'm pulling out.

Okay. I'm pulling out, military first. I'm leaving my citizens inside. I'm leaving my paper inside the printer and sending it back. Fuck it, I'm done. Okay. So you don't have your card on you know,

then the government says you're not able to come in, right? You don't have your card, you able to come in, right? You don't have your card, you can't come in at the Nicholas Cage Fin Club, you don't have your card. I said, whoa, that's okay, that's okay, okay, that's fine. So you think that I need documentation from the government that says I'm safe, right? Yeah. Well, where is it up to right now? Is it up to the establish, right now, is it, is it,

it's up to the establishments right now, right? Sure, private business. Yeah. By the way, I said, Taliban's private company, they could do whatever they want. Facebook blocked my account for a week for hate speech. Taliban's private company, Sean, they can do whatever they want. Boy, nobody gets like sarcasm or satire.

Yeah, because that's the only, I mean, like, everybody's painful extremism. That's what everybody's like. Well, I'm a fucking police then. It's a private company. It's a private company. It's a private company. It's a private company. Talbians private company.

They can do whatever they want. It's pretty funny. That's funny. Funny, yeah, a lot. No, you're not locked deleted. This is your final warning. Okay. Anyway, I'm thinking it's pretty funny. That's funny. Funny, yeah, a lot. Funny. Yeah, not locked deleted. This is your final warning. Okay.

Anyway, my thinking is just this, if they're gonna need, if they're gonna need proof from the government that I'm safe, I would like some proof that they're safe. You know, the liquor board, well, get the liquor board in here and make sure nobody underage is being served ever. Let's get the health department in.

Let's get the building and safety code people in. Let's get every fucking person that I've hated for my entire life, for making it impossible for you to serve me, beer. Now that you're just not doing it because I'm not safe, let's call them up all day, every day. When was the last time? So as I'm full, libertarianism is gone. Yeah.

Full fascism. That's the future now. Oh, okay. Oh, you need my vaccination card. You know what, I'm gonna need a number of cards from you. Right. Actually, let's see what's going on with the wires, the storage, or is your unemployment up to date?

How much are you paying your staff? Cause I know they're work to the bone, so they don't have the ability to follow up with the, what's the only survivability? They only survive on tips. Yeah, they only survive't have the ability to follow up with the, what's the only survival tips? Yeah, they only survive on tips. What a fucked up thing, the whole restaurant industry is like they could pay you jack shit. It's like, well, you get paid, you make it up in tips.

That's how we can skirt that issue. Fine, but all I'm saying is you're gonna fuck, if you're gonna start fucking with people one by one, let's fuck with you as hard as possible. Yeah, I agree. As hard as fucking possible. And that's just, that's the list I came up with off the top of my head. Yeah.

How often do those things get, well, I mean, once you build, you know, you get approved by building and safety, you know, to build the thing and they do the final inspection and all. Yeah. But it's like, let's get them out anyway, just to see if there's any, if there's any non permitted any is or something that you've Okay, is this still okay to the door and internal right that they might not know about because you change the internal layout Is one of your bartenders selling individual cigarettes? I don't know if that's possible

Is that included in a license you fucking ass all how often do they get to wonder how often they get looked at by the You know health department for the ratings and all that kind of stuff. Look, I just wanna make sure everyone is as safe as I am. Well, I mean, because, I mean, you know, foodborne illness is no fucking joke. It's no joke. No jokes.

And we're all in this together. Sure. We're all in this together. If we're all gonna be gnarx in this together, then we're all gonna be gnarx in it together. I don't wanna see what I have here. God damn it, I'll be the best damn gnarx you this together, then we're all going to be gnarx and it together. I only see what I have here. Goddamn it. I'll be the best damn gnarkey ever see.

Yeah, I got all day. Yeah. Cause I, I work for out of the home. Is that not hung over? Yeah. So because that wasn't you. That's all I'm doing. The who spault is that?

It would have just been easier. It would have just to serve me a peanut butter porter and be done with it. I'll drink anything. We don't be friends. You could have thrown it at me. Right. Right. I will be lapping it up off the sidewalk. And thank you for it.

It's the same people. It's the same fucking the banks. The payment processors who says, well, Mastercard says, we got to get consent forms, even though collectively none of us have ever had consent in any sexual encounter in our lives. And as far as I'm, and as far as the teaching on consent goes, you can revoke it any time. So it formula doesn't make sense.

But still we're gonna need it. Pam Price has said like, oh, well, what are we gonna do? We're just the banks that have the infinity money and can't, and can't go out of business ever. Right, because we're just doing what they say. Right, right. What reason do they,

do they all give like the same reason? Kids. Yeah, kids in human trafficking. Right. Human trafficking. Yeah, Kids in human trafficking. Right. Oh, human trafficking. Yeah, sure. Human trafficking. And then if you question it, you're a fucking asshole.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Then you're pedophile. Sure. Even though there's more child porn on Twitter than any of the points I'd put together. Even though more and molesting happens in public schools, then in church.

Oh, okay. How about scouts? I don't know. I mean, yeah, it happens. then in church. Oh, okay. How about Scouts? I don't know. I mean, it happens. It definitely happens. It definitely happens anywhere there's kids. That's right. Yeah, it does.

That's the rule. Here's one for you, Sean. Here's in our morning hell announcements. This is a disabled model that posted a picture of a bikini shoot and then said, she got so many positive responses. It's indicative that people want more disabled representation. Is the wheelchair wearing a two piece? Here is the model. Here's the model that was talking about disabled representation. I don't know if I can get that up. She's the one with the gigantic tits.

I don't know if I can get that up. She's the one with the gigantic tits. Yeah. Okay. So her conclusion in this is that people want more disabled representation because they're going go go over this particular, I don't know if you can see me focusing on the tits right here, like this area right here, because what she's competing with is this mailer that we got recently, which is a Victoria's Secret Mailer.

Look at that. Boy, that is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate.

That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. That is visionate. No, could you beat off to this one, Shiny, Shiny my boy? Would you be excited if mom got the mail and this little mailer kind of slid out the bottom on her way in and you can sneak this back

into your beat off shed? She looks like a block. A block, like a Minecraft? Like a, I mean like her shoulders are as square as like her hips is. Yeah, she just kind of goes. And then it's Photoshopped, keep in mind. You know, that's, that's so funny you say that

because it's absolutely true. How about this monster? Is it the same one? Yeah it is. I don't, I don't, can people even see from that far away? Or does it look like a whale? From that far away?

No, and you're right. That is definitely. Mama Mia, look at this one. Oh mama mochi, look at this. I couldn't even, I couldn't fit both of my arms around this bitch. And again, general Sherman over here. General Sherman. That tree. Yeah, the tree. I get it. I get it. I thought you were talking about because of the the beard and the you know, fit for all seasons and the propensity to light,

you know, large swaths of the earth on fire. I thought you meant that general Sherman. No, I meant the tree. I meant the tree. Got it. No, I actually meant the tree. And they've got our here between two skinny black, I mean, this is the very racist. Right. Can't do that just yet. Well, that's the inclusion. So here's a disabled girl. I says, oh, well, here the response to this is because you want to see more Disableds in ads. No, it's because it's the huge tits. That's that's why you don't be broad, true, it's because you got those big Old tick old bitties swinging around. And no one's at no one fucking cares about the fake leg.

Uh, okay. Now there you go. Thought that was fine. News from hell. This is your morning announcements for hell. Oh, God, I don't know. Well, this is pretty funny. Destiny, remember that guy?

Yeah, sure. I like your friend of me. My friend, my friend of me, Destiny. He was supposed to do a big debate on Ralph's show yesterday. Yeah. But he accidentally did. With who? With this guy, Mark Colette, who I assume is some kind of like, I don't know, says Jews a lot or something. Oh, yeah.

It could be. You know, yeah, you know, these guys who hate the Jews or whatever the Jews, we want to talk about them. They just can't. They can't say. Anyway, Destiny missed the debate. It was like promoted for a month, not an Odyssey people. It's like a free speech YouTube that's all crypto based.

So you can't be so it can't be censored. But they haven't figured out a way to censor it yet. Yeah, they will try. They will try, but they have, it's gonna be hard. Yeah, it's gonna be hard because of the math. Destiny missed it because he accidentally did, he was doing, he was trying to do MDMA and he accidentally did math. What?

Somebody gave him ecstasy, but they accidentally, or whatever, it was math and not MDMA. So he was instead of like four hours of being high, he was high for, you know, 30 hours and missed the... What? I got confirmation. Jesus. That's what happened. That's crazy.

Pretty funny though. Pretty funny. Okay, let's see. Good God. You can't make this up. That's what else, that's what makes me race this you can't you're seeing that phrase. Oh, of course, you can't make this up. Yeah Yeah, it's the it's the it's the dumb version of truth is stranger than fiction You accept you can eat you can easily make all of it up. I mean if you're creative. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, I guess it's kind of like that's on that's saying more about you I mean, if you're creative, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. It's kinda like that's on, that's saying more about you. Yeah, I guess. That is saying about the thing. Yeah. Go Christian and rape his mom, you can't make this up. Like, I mean, yeah, it's called the adip, yeah.

Yeah, it's been talked about for like a long time. Yeah, hundreds of hundreds of years. Thousands, yeah. Right, right, that it, yeah. I was typing the quote phrase, you can't make this up on Twitter and just look at how many retarded people have bought into this. Don't make some praises with the Taliban.

You can't make this up. Like, what do you mean? We train them. What are you talking about? You can't make, yeah. Yeah. They're at the, they're at the end of Rocky 3. What are you talking about?

Can't make what up? Can't make what up? We're all living vicariously through the Taliban because we're waiting for the cops to show up and inject our children with experimental vaccines and shoot our fucking dogs. I always that's why we're all rooting for the fucking Taliban because they're not you I always think because a lot of people just don't have any interest or no history at all. That's what that's like. No, this isn't the first time we've seen or heard of this. You can make this stuff up. What are you talking about? Yeah.

Of course you can make it up. That's all. Why would that be important? What are you saying? What are you fucking saying about this? I realize that everyone's Swiss cheese, Swiss cheese, attention deficit, disordered, ego-inflated mind is incapable of putting their thoughts into words and can only express themselves

in emotional outbursts and memes, but what the fuck are you trying to say with this? What are you saying? What are you, what is so interesting about this that it cannot possibly be created? I don't know. I have heard that a lot though. Can't make this up. I've heard that.

I mean, I know that's, so I'm well aware of that expression, but it's, you know, it's becoming more widely used now. Like literally, Kamala Harris to campaign for Newsom in California. You can't make this up. What are you even talking about? You can't make it. Why would you make that up? Well, there you go.

Speaking of the Newsom recall, do you think he's gonna get recalled? I don't know. You don't know. Do you think they're gonna cheat? I don't know if he's gonna get, I mean, the last recall was Gray Davis, right? And that's how Arnold got in.

Yeah. I mean, usually, usually if there's a recall, I don't know historically, what do you think? What's your gut tell you? I know. Do you think people are pissed enough? I don't know. I think he's gonna stay in.

I don't know though. That's one thing. I haven't looked super deep into it. Like you know what the ballots at home, right? This time they said, well, what's it? Can you? Yeah. Which kind of seems to me like you just got a printing press working on people that are

not going to go vote, right? Well, like one day you got a print, you got a print Nicholas Cage fan cards. Right. So if the government's printing fake documents, then I think we should be allowed to print fake documents. So that is bullshit. And then this is, I just voted recently and confirmed this is true. If you click yes, if you fill in yes to recall on the ballot,

and then put the ballot in the ballot envelope, and send it back, there's a little hole on the envelope that tells that's supposed to tell you that there's a ballot inside. They put the hole in such a way that you can see whether or not the person has filled in and voted yes to recall. So if anybody was, if anybody wanted to work at the post office and just or wherever and see if you've voted yes and throw the ballot in the garbage, it would be very easy to do so. I could burn this is legit.

Does that seem a little fucked up? You well, yes. I mean, yes. Does it seem I vote yes. You fucked up. Does it seem like you couldn't make this stuff up? This is one. Well, this is one that you couldn't make up.

No, this is one that I couldn't make up. No, this is one that I'm very interested in. Yeah, here you go. Oh, wow. Looks like here in this secret ballot, you voted yes to recall. I'll just throw that in the garbage on the way back to the mail store. I go, here's a. Now, I'm going to look into that. And I mean, I can confirm that true. No, but I'm going to, I'm going to find out that those were the bad runs that got pulled to the side. Oh, and then like somebody caught that, you think? Yeah, something like that. Okay. That's what I usually end up finding. All right. Here's some. I already elder. If any, if any of those that go out or whatever or mine and coaches were like that.

Oh, were that was a, no, that was coach's personal picture of it. Yes, I filled out my ballot and put it in and said, yes, you can see the guests. Oh, God. I never mind. So I assume they all went out at the same time. Was that coach's Twitter? Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Oh Jesus.

Yeah. Here is some headlines for the front runner for California, which would be just Larry Elder would be absolutely fantastic. He's like a black rush limbaugh. Oh, I know Larry Elder very well. I used to listen to him all the time. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, Larry Elder, yeah.

Yeah, he would be, you think he would be a good governor who cared about doing things right. Right? I always liked him. I think he's a cool guy. Yeah, I haven't listened to him in years. He's from South Central. Yes, he's like, he's as black as a kid, as far as California goes. Well, maybe Oakland, but I don't know.

I think Central's more blacker than Oakland. I mean, Oakland, it's, you know, it's almost, it is almost two states when it comes to that. Like Oakland definitely up North has got that's, that's the South Central of, you know, so from North Central. From South Central. So dad was a World War II veteran. Yeah. Worked his way up, author and whatever, always trying to, always trying to bring up the black

community like Jesse Lee Peterson, right? This is what the LA Times has to say about him. Larry Elder is the black face of what supremacy? You've been warned. So, man, that's so sensational. I mean, that doesn't sound anything like the Larry Elder that I know, that I, yeah, I literally, I listen to him for years.

Yeah. Has he gone like crazy? No, he's, I always like a more subdued, like he's a more subdued Trump or Rush Limbaugh. Cause he's born in the country. Yeah, I can't go like, ah! He's just calmer about it. I just love that, I love that, well, first of all,

okay, I like times. So basically, I'm never believing anything you say or do, no matter what it's about, especially if it's about science, if you're saying that a black guy is the black face of white supremacy. All credibility gone. But they capitalize black in black face. Yeah, so they got their priorities right.

Yes. So his blackness is in fact, you know, I'm just reading this at like a level of advertising. His blackness. And this is an op-ed, obviously, right? I mean, because- In the paper. No, I know, but those lines are skewed, are blurred in pretty much every publication. His blackness has been reduced to blackface. That's what I'm reading in that. He's not doing blackface, but his blackness to black face. That's what I'm reading in that. I mean, he's not doing black face, but he, his blackness is black face. Can't make this stuff up. Here's some more

headlines. These headlines make me think that we have a chance as California to not be so hopelessly fucked. Larry Elder draws fire for an N word comedy clip. He's black. Sean. Well, the rules are changing again though. Oh, they are. Seems like it. If your politics don't align with what is expected, they revoked Larry Elder's N word

pass. Yeah. It turns out it was printed at home. I was so I was jammed up the machine. Yeah, that's each 120 pounds stock is going to jam up your it's just so hard for me to try that hard to do stuff because the lays I want my Nicholas Cage fan club card to look official, which means dark ink. I want it to be on the same paper. I wanted to look identical to the real thing. Because I'm, you know, I don't think your marriage or your status as a Nicholas Cage fan should be registered by the government.

That's all. That's all. Okay. Yeah. So Australia is executing dogs due to COVID. I'm surprised more people aren't pissed about that. You can't just let the dogs go. Like, well, you know, they've got the pig and cat problem over there, you know.

Dogs are pretty resourceful. Well, right? What they, they couldn't get, they don't just dump a bunch of food off like, well, they do have, I mean, there are feral dogs there and that's why they think that I don't know two schools of thought on it has a little shun's animal corner on how okay yeah yeah shun's animal corner but I think what most most people think over there or most experts think is that there are

really no purebred dingos anymore. I mean, there's some that say that because they've all mixed with like, you know, they've all mixed with, you know, the domesticated dog to some extent. And I think that here's the problem with letting that go. I know people in like Alaska, I think, have problem, is you get the dog wolf hybrids. So you've got like a wolf, you've got a big, you know, a predator that's not afraid of people. Oh.

So it's, you know, I tend to be a little more, they're not, you know, wolves are very, very cautious by nature. Now, a dog wolf hybrid is another another is another thing entirely. So it's like a killer, but doesn't have, but it's super. Doesn't have the inhibition of it. Yeah, it's like to go up to people. I can see how that's a problem. But I don't know. But I mean, I don't know if they got anything. I don't know. I don't think they're going to let them go. I'm not Australia. That's in pigs are a big enough problem.

Well, so again, somebody actually had to go do that. And that guy couldn't go like, I mean, I think I'm just gonna go let the dog, can someone just like stay here and feed them and not be like, who let the dogs out? And then he'll shoot him. Yeah, I did that. Okay. Did you see the Tesla bot demo? He's silly.

It's like a Paul that is just like shaking her head like God, that was the worst dad joke fucking ever on this show. The jokes are getting better. Oh, I know. I've always liked dad jokes. Have you seen the Taliban now meaming on like ripping on Facebook and shit in there? So Biden's gone. No one knows where he's at. But the Taliban's holding press conferences like they're like they're bearded trumps. Well, I was looking at a fact check

the other the other day where one of them has a they called Biden. It was like, you know, it's like, you know, there's true, mostly true mix, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then there's like a full flop. All about the thing, you know, no, it's going to be a, but orderly, blah, blah, blah. I mean, just talk about what he sat back and said about how the withdrawal and then like what actually happened. I'm just like, yeah, no, I mean, this is worse than, this is worse than false. Yeah. You know, or this is just full, full flop. Uh, so the Taliban's on their, the Taliban, I swear, I think they've been coached by like the Chinese military on PR experts. Yeah. Like you watch,

you watch the US military train the Taliban fighters and they fucking can't even do jumping jacks. Yeah. And you're thinking, what the fuck, like is this a human being? Is this like a bunch of, is this like a bunch of animals in a suit, like a men in black? How do you not know?

How do you not watch a jumping jack and then you could do a jumping jack? But these guys, have you ever seen the US military try to make the Taliban people do jumping jacks? No. They're like going like this. Yeah.

They're doing the hokey pokey. They're doing like multiple movements with their legs and their arms. They've never danced before too. So it's I can't imagine that they would have. Yeah. But then I think the Chinese military came in and said, hey, check this out. If you're on TV, if they ask you any questions, just flip it around on them. Yeah.

Like this is, so they say, well, Taliban, what's your, what are you going to do about freedom speech? What are you going gonna do about freedom speech? What are you gonna do about freedom speech? You shouldn't be asking us about freedom speech. You should be asking Facebook, Google, and these are your own people about freedom speech. Actually, they're removing people like Trump and silencing, so it's like,

ah, it's the whole, it's deflect and pivot. Yeah. That's military, that is military, that's fifth generational military training. I really believe that. It's, it's military, that is military, that's fifth generational military training. I really believe that. It's, it's great. It's great, I don't know. Here, let's see what I had here.

Oh yeah, some COVID stats. Oh God. No, these are interesting. I'm only bringing in interesting stuff now. Really? Yeah, this is people who prefer workplace mandates. People who work from home. Yeah. People who work from home. Yeah, people who work from home prefer workplace

vaccine mandates. I am, it's like you, mother fuckers don't have to do it. Exactly, I am, and the people who wait, wait, wait, and the people who have to show up oppose them. Yeah. No, I don't want, like I worked for, I had to show up for 18 months and I'm fine. And now, no, I don't want, like I worked for, I had to show up for 18 months and I'm fine and now, no, I don't fucking think so, go ahead, what are you gonna say?

Well, no, I was gonna say that I'm finding a growing, growing number of people who aren't trying to see the other side really at all when it's like, you work from home like none of the problems apply to you. Yeah. So it's like, you don't really get to have talking about your life. Yeah. Strongly, strongly favor people who are on site, 30% and strongly favor people who are fully remote, 45%. And then I saw something about how mastercard required vaccines. And then so many people said, no, they said, okay, well, if you got vaccinated, you have to come

back in. And if you didn't, then you could stay home. All the people that didn't are like, ah, fuck you. Good, nice and consistent. Here's, here's, trying to outreach to the black community, I think, with this one. It's lethal. Let me back it up. I don't know. Do you think this is going to be effective? Tell me after you see it. Sure.

This is MSNBC. This is the authority. These are the experts, right? Well, I mean, they're giving us the messaging. I mean, MSNBC, you're going to get one slant, you know, if I would, I don't know. I would think that any of them are capable of having, you know, an expert on, I don't consider anybody who's just a talking head, an expert really on anything except reading a teleprompter and looking to the, tell me what you think after this.

Hope is dangerous. COVID's dangerous. It's lethal. It's a bit like the beef, the Tories BIG used to wrap about when you said beef is when your mom thinks safe up in the streets. Beef is when I see you guaranteed to be in I see you. Well, when COVID sees you, you can't end up in I this is embarrassing. I can't believe that happened.

I mean, you can't make this shit up. Yeah, make this shit up. What ethnicity is that guy? Oh, he's a robot. He'd be. He's not a real guy. There's no way. there's no way he's a hundred percent white, right? He'd be fired already. His name is Ari Melber. Okay.

I know. It is Jewish right? Right. I don't know what. Yeah. She's legal correspondent. Uh, and he's playing. I think that's the notorious B.I.G. next to him. Yeah, it is. Nice playing. Well, if Corona sees you, you just might be in the ICU. Okay. There you go. Good God.

What else do I have here? Gen X employment, crisis, IRS agents. So yeah, the vaccine switcheroo, off-shoring, I don't really care about that. Let's get some comments. Cool. I think that's, oh, Chairman Powell, the Jerome Powell Powell says he doesn't see any financial sector as

an economic risk as it was in 2008. Oh, really? Yeah. It's interesting because you didn't see it then either. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't really. Okay. There you go.

Let's get to some comments. No callers, you say? I don't think I told anybody to call in. No. No call. What are you going to do voicemail today? We've always been putting off voicemail. Comments, Marky Mark, changed my height on dating sites like you, like you advised from

five, nine to five, 10. Mm-hmm. I went ahead and said, five, 10 seems a lot more satisfying, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. Because you get the, yeah. Yeah. It's like real close to six feet. I went ahead and said, fuck it.

I changed my plenty of fish to five, 11. I now have about 94 likes on there in a week. Thanks, Dick. So that's not gonna know two inches? No, you're just compulsively telling the truth. It's insane. That's a, the height, that's a real fucking thing, huh? Women seeing a number.

Yeah. Yeah. And just not too short. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah, cause they don't wanna tell their friends. So I don't know who knows He he silly said that's not what it is what is it

Oh, if he's too short you feel like you might be a psycho We don't like that wouldn't have gone there. You're saying he he they I wouldn't have gone there. You're saying he, he, they, short men are very like temperamental. Short men are temperamental. I've heard. Made fun of for being short and all like, I mean, short men are sitting.

There is like, the other, I mean, you know, you get shit on for, we've talked about this. Yeah. What'd you get made fun of for being short? What'd you get made fun of, you know, it's like you get made fun of the fucking same thing all the time growing up. Just lie about your height.

Don't go all the way to six, five eleven, that's perfect. Hey Dick, you're totally wrong about fentanyl not being absorbed to the skin. The primary way fentanyl is prescribed in the outpatient setting is with a topical patch. The slowly releases the drug to provide a basal level of opiate to the patient who is in chronic pain. Usually from cancer. Oh wow, look at all these big words, don't you fucking sound smart. Typically these patients supplement their pain medications with oral opiates, hydrocodone, morphine, hydro

morphone, or when they're pain spikes, all these opiates have different potencies. Typically the potencies of opiates are related back to morphine equivalence, totally pointless information. There are morphine equivalent calculators available on my channel. I eat this for morphine in your body. Blah blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Every fucking, how many, did anybody tell you that I'm wrong about fentanyl being absorbed through the skin? Like they're so fucking smarter.

Okay, so a doctor, a toxicology expert. I got this email. Oh, you did? Yeah, I got this email. And so I thought, oh, okay. But, you know, he's going through a lot of information. It seems like he's looked at information that isn't the point. Or the truth. He doesn't go through a lot of information. It seems like he's he's looked at information that isn't the point

Which is he doesn't go through this kind of not you know a bunch of other information to bamboozle you and I don't know You know, and I don't know what his background is or anything like that But I I go oh that's interesting. So I just kind of just kind of looked around a little bit. Yeah, and From what I saw there was somebody from Johns Hopkins who is, he specialized, he specialized in narcotics and it was like a legit credit. I'm just gonna fuck it up. And then there was somebody else

from another major institution. And both of them said, this is pretty reckless to put out as a way to get. So it was like, I was actually a little surprised that so many people are telling me I'm wrong on this. Yeah, no, no, that's the only one that I got. But I looked at... But I looked at a little patch,

Fendel patch, oh, there was a bunch of information that has nothing to do with the fucking Fendel patch. And I went and they're like, they were like, that is a highly implausible way to get high from from Fentall. Now, he's, you know, they were talking about the like, Transdermal. Yeah. But like, I don't know if he fucking had his head in the bag or, you know, fucking

inhaled it. That might be a different thing, but they both were, were they were both very, very skeptical, very skeptical of getting it Transdermally, that amount for that length of time. So I was like, oh, wow, I mean, that's, you know, I got so tired of people telling me about the fucking fentanyl patch that I went and looked it up. Here is, here's a medical director of toxicology and addiction at the University of Hospital of Cleveland, are you universally hospitals of Cleveland? What's the title again?

Medical director of toxicology and addiction. Yeah, I mean, to me, that's a great title to listen to what he has to say. I only have one of those expertise. You can overdose, you cannot overdose just by touching fentanyl or other opioids and you cannot overdose just by being around it. It will not get into the air

and cause anyone to overdose. He added, you cannot overdose just by being around it. It will not get into the air and cause anyone to overdose. He added, you cannot overdose through accidental contact. People do not overdose accidentally, but it is people who are using drugs and not expecting fentanyl or whatever or something like that, or people who get unknown doses because they are buying drugs off the street. With a large dermal exposure, which did not occur

for a long, for a whole time. Who's got what to do? Rubbing is using it as that, as that borax soap, you know, like, yeah, rubbing it together in his hands. I love that soap. Well, I mean, it gets fucking recent shit off of me. Am I the only one who likes that soap? Like, I was rinsing off after the beach yesterday, and I was pretending that I was using,

with a sand. Yeah, I was using the sand and the soap and pretending that I had borax in the shower. Yeah. Does anybody, do you like that soap? I used to like lava. That has the great, I remember lava. Yes. I like the grit.

Yeah. Why do they take it? The ducts for men is such a horshirt. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I want to wash with it all the time, but I mean, as far as getting shit off your hands, yeah, you need that know if I want to wash with it all the time, but I mean, as far as getting shit off your hands, yeah, you need that shit. I don't wash my dick with it.

You know, I used to work, I used to trim dope all the time, remember? That's where that, my equipment was. Here we go. Well, no, that's what, that's where the whole setiva Sean came here. You know, from the old show. In case anybody, you know,

doesn't came lately. So I brought my equipment in and it was at a place where I was, I was trimming dope all day. And because I had buddies just before it was legal, they used to grow a fuck ton of it. And it was great. If work was slower, it gets you like 20 bucks an hour cash under the table.

Like it's fucking fun. Just I was good at it. I like trimming. It was kind of just relaxing. So, but you get sticky as fuck. Sometimes we wouldn't have the gloves. So, but what worked really good to get that off, it wasn't the Borax soap.

You would dump like olive oil all over your fucking hands, rub it all over the place. And I think it would bond with whatever oils or whatever are in the weed. And then you could wash it in hot water with regular soap and it would all come off. If you just tried to do that shit with soap, I don't know if it was, if you had the borax or not, that shit would not fucking come off. You would have sticky fucking hands

the rest of your week. What's the most weed you trimmed in one sitting like a tall tail? Well, I mean, I don't know personally, but there were, there were times where we would trim. There was a lot of people doing it four or five days and we'd end up with about 60 pounds. Oh my God. 60 to 70 pounds. How many trash bags is that? Well, we'd hang them on hangers to dry, to cheer.

Like, but yeah, I mean, the dry weight, you know. Yeah. But I don't know what I know to dry. But yeah, it would be, yeah, 60 or 70 pounds. Oh, yeah. It was impressive. But even the pharmaceutical fentanyl patch, which is formulated for such absorption, takes 12 to 16 hours before a significant blood fentanyl concentration is reached.

Stop fucking correcting me. Stop fucking stop sending me giant emails correcting what I fucking said because you heard about a patch on fucking ER or some shit Well, there's With a patch sometimes it it can be to control the release because yeah, it otherwise it could get into fast or it's because you need a certain A certain carrier, you know or certain, you know, a lotion or something actually to help the absorption because it's impossible to absorb otherwise. But yeah, just from what I found the two different things, that was another source.

All those people seem like they would have no reason to be wrong on that. So it's, yeah. And again, if you want a gun, don't touch it. If you might shoot, it might shoot a little kid somewhere, if you touch that gun, everybody stay away. You remember Reef or Madness? You remember that shit that was real? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, I'm too high. I'm now becoming an extra expert marksman. If you watch that video, that whole thing, it just, just to me, it looks like a, like a kind of a bad regional commercial. Yeah. Like it just, it's just a kind of a bad regional commercial. Yeah. Like it just, it's just off. Yeah. It's just off.

Okay. Here's some, here's some advice. I have an animal corner for you in the voice mills. Interesting advice for dumb idiot retards me. Hey, Dick, first I wanted to thank you and Sean for all the laughs with the biggest problem in tedious. Always looking forward to the next week's episode to help me make it through my soul crushing job. Sorry, buddy. I love that he's been listening for six, seven years.

Do you know that three years ago was the RSS feed stolen episode where I swapped the biggest problem on the mathematics is stupid feed? That is just one of the all time. I thought about that the other day has three years ago today this weekend. It's just, it was just, I couldn't believe that's what you did. We recorded that after an episode. Yeah.

He did like the intro. I was like, this is like one of the all time great trolls. And I had waited for a year and a half to do it. I wish I had that on video. I should have left the cameras running, no it would have been because your reaction was priceless. I can't believe I said, oh my God, okay, he's won an idiot, he didn't change the...

And second, I'm sure this is like the 10,000th email you've got asking this, but where do I start investing for the first time? Where would you start? I don't wanna go full maddocks, meaning that I'm 40, I think he's 43. And I blame not having a house yet because investing was never taught to me.

You seem like a well-rounded, really. That's not necessary for getting advice read. And not lying. A knowledgeable person when it comes to investing. Any advice would be great. We'll just take a little bit and buy, buy VOO and RSP. That's it. The index ETFs.

Go to Schwab, don't go to Robinhood, fuck Robinhood. Just out of spite. Go to TD Ameritrade. I don't know. any of the big ones, and just buy a couple every month. That's it. Tiny bit. Just dip your toes in.

It'll tiny bit. Most powerful forests in the universe, compound interest. Just buy a little bit, a little bit of the time. Don't get goofy. Yeah. Put aside a little bit, put in crypto. Buy a little bit of crypto. They used to do, they used to say 80% stocks and 20% bonds,

but since the Federal Reserve seems hell bent on pushing us into MMT, which is literally them printing money instead of swapping assets with commercial banks like they do now. Federal Reserve doesn't print money. Everybody says, everybody says they print money because that's what they understand, that's what was told to them.

And I suspect that the Federal Reserve doesn't disabuse people of that idea because printing money implies that there will be inflation and people. Right, you're devaluing money. So yeah, and they want that. That's their whole job is to just keep inflation going. But when they were founded, it's not like there was, it's not like there was just runaway. The only thing they're equipped to do

is tamper inflation down. They're not equipped to knock it up. Like all the money printing they do to fill up banks, reserves, does not result in banks loaning more money. And that's the only thing that creates more money. Since they seem to be hell bent on destroying the economy and pushing us into them just printing money, then just dump it into, you got no choice,

dump it into stocks, dump it into, I don't think bonds are gonna be worth anything. Dump, dump, dump, dump 80% of stocks and a little bit into crypto as much as you feel comfortable with. Amazing thing about crypto is that the percentage just keeps growing because they can't, they can't make it, they can't stop it. They can't make any more of it.

Yeah. It's 21 million coins forever. That's it. Everything, and why is that? That's just it in the code that they all agreed on. They could all flip it overnight, but they'd be fucking themselves over by doing that. That's just it in the code. Yeah, but they all agreed on. Yeah, they could all flip it overnight, but they'd be fucking themselves over by doing that. So just do a little bit at a time and don't listen to people telling you they have good tips because they don't. It's not gambling. Actually, it's slow, slow, and steady. Well, that's compounding over years. That's the thing. That was a very conservative answer for somebody

who's you want to be in for the long haul. Yeah. America's always gonna have the most transparent markets and the best ones on earth, no matter how bad we fuck up, it's going to be, the future is going to be America and China fighting over who owns the cartels that control the major components of our life. Health, education, military, every manufacturing, every single component of our lives is going to be cartelized into giant conglomerates or companies and the

American and the Chinese government are going to seem like adversaries sometimes. They're going to seem like the same country at some times, but that's the future. America's not, there's no, there's no doomsday scenario where libertarians are going to be trading bits of silver for whores outside the back of their truck, right? It's not going to be water world, but on land in the future. It's going to be just like this. So, disabuse yourself of the idea of like being off the grid. Yeah. Like a monetary system. Yeah. Now, okay, here is. Hey, Dick, advice for hitting up married women. Hey, Dick, I'll keep this as concise as possible.

Recently, a girl I've known since middle school has been hitting me up again on Instagram and Snapchat. Throughout the time we went to school together, all the way to graduation, I had a crush on her, but never made anything come of it because I was a huge pussy. After graduation, I basically never saw her again. Though we still occasionally interacted on social media,

she ended up getting married pretty young to a guy probably 10 years older than her. And they had a couple kids together. However, her body bounced straight back since she was young, smallish-can situation, though bigger after her kids. And has always had an incredible ass. At some point in the past couple of years, she started hitting me up more frequently in the DMs. This would come in spurts and on occasion,

she'd drop hints that she wasn't happy with her situation as a mother. What a waste of fucking time. Talking to some lonely housewife. Talking about how she'd encourage her to kill her kids, right? She's unsatisfied with her life as a mother. Senator Casey Anthony articles. God damn.

She got away with it. They would never convert a woman with a hot ass. Talking about how she regrets having kids so young, and in some cases, talking about how cute she always thought I was. We're that easy. It's that easy to waste our time. That even a, even a, even a mother with a husband can waste your time with a single compliment.

Right. Totally. Still, nothing ever went anywhere. But more recently, she's been messaging me nearly every day. Jesus. And I could tell her husband and kids were noticeably absent. She was also flashing more cleavage than usual. So I knew something was up.

With very little prying, she outright told me that she's moving and expects not to be married in the next few months. Now while I'm not interested in dating this girl or anything, she's trying to feel out for the next branch to grab onto. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh or anything. She's trying to feel out for the next branch to grab onto. Before she lets go the other one. Is this sturdy? What's going on here? Don't worry, bud. She's got a couple of you.

She's testing out a few branches to make sure she can find one that will put up with literally anything in exchange for a crumb of pussy. I'm not interested in dating this girl or anything. There's strange measurement. Crumb. Can I get a crumb of pussy? Yeah. Because she seems like a huge handful. I mean, it doesn't sound like you have any say in anything. Frankly, you're waiting around for DMs. Because she seems like a huge handful.

I'd like to move things towards at least getting some spicy nudes. And perhaps banging her at some point. Oh yeah, that won't cause any problems. Not for you. Advice would be much appreciated. Thanks. Go fuck yourself, smooches for Sean. Well, obviously you're not going to ignore her.

We all know we don't give the good advice on the show because you're not going to do it. At least get a vasectomy because it doesn't really sound, I mean, you sound like you're totally bewitched by this roast beef swinging housewife who happens to flash you a little cleavage. What the fuck? And you hope to maybe one day get your penis touched out of it? Get a vasectomy.

You are a mark. You're a mark. Think like it. Like you're like the little bunny, and she's the wolf or the fox that's trying to sink her teeth into the next victim. If you're not strong enough to say no, at least make it medically impossible

to permanently affix yourself to this life training succubus. Is that so wrong? Getting a vasectomy? No, I mean, he'd have to make that decision, but no, it's not wrong to get it. Of course, it's not wrong, just if he wanted kids later or something, but he's thinking right now.

What are you doing? It's been your time doing something else. All right, let's do Animal Corner. Let me do some more. Oh! Oh! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Shun's Animal Corner.

Oh, okay. Hayden Luke. Did you... Sean's Animal Corner. Oh, okay. Hayden Luke. No one knows where eels come from. We've never observed eels mating. Never found any eel eggs and never been able to identify reproductive organs in eels. Did you know that?

No. Reproductive organs and eels. Yeah. I've seen little baby eels. Did you know that? No. Reproductive organs and eels. Yeah. I have seen little baby eels that are like glass, but never seen them reproduce. No, but they've also never seen great white sharks reproduce. They've never actually seen them, but we know how it works. Because we? Yeah, I mean, we know the act. Just never seen it, but reproductive organs on eels. Yeah, that's how I find them. I mean, I checked this.

That sound stopped doing this game. It sounds like we're sending people. It's unbelievable, but oh really? Yeah, no, I checked this out. I did not know that. All right, that's the one for you. Dan Price says, does Sean no starfish have an eye on the end of their legs? Yes, I did.

What? They have eyes on the end of their legs? Yeah, and I don't know if all of them do. I don't, and I don't think I'm falling for, I've heard that before. So you knew it. I did. I mean, you said you know it. I think it's true.

I think I know it. Yeah. Okay. Here's a tiebreaker then. Guantanamo Bay. Did you know that when geese fly in the V, they honk to encourage the lead goose because they have the most difficult job of having to break the wind and they change leads in order to not make one goose too exhausted? Absolutely knew about the lead changing. Okay. I didn't know, I mean, I never heard or thought about why they haunt. I'm gonna give that to you. Yeah.

It's a win. But yeah, the lead thing, yeah. Yeah. All right, everybody, I'm going to Sean's Animal Corner. Really? I think that's encouraging. Okay, that's what they're doing that. Move your ass. Oh, how about that?

Nice guys. Like, why else would they, I guess, I can't, yeah, I never thought about, why would they be doing that? Why are they just honking, flying over? I mean, it's not like they're defending themselves or anything like fucking things up there. Yeah, why would they be honking? If not to encourage, there's this game where you play as a little goose. You fuck around.

You basically ruin people's days, ruin their picnic and stuff like that. I was playing that with my nephews. Seems like a game you would play. Yeah, oh my God, I got them good. So, we went to the beach, right? And I went to go by myself, I was looking to buy myself a beer. Yeah, but all I found was an ice cream truck that had like, gatorade and diet coke and all this ice cream shit. So I got myself some stuff and then I got them ice cream sandwiches

and I got myself an Oreo shake. Mm-hmm. And as I was walking back to the blanket that had diureal over it, uh, Maddie, my dog, made a dash for somebody on a bike. And it ripped it knocked. I had the shake in one hand protected and everybody else is, I had my shake in one hand protected and everybody else is crap. The hand with the leash.

With the leash. No, I had my shake all by itself. Oh good. There's no way she's going to fuck up my, see good. So she went across the body and knocked my hand into the shake all by itself. There's no way she's gonna fuck up my, see good, so she went across the body and knocked my hand into the shake and knocked it. I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. So the shake went into the dirt.

Yeah. All right, so I get back to camp and said it was like 20 feet away, almost just let her run there. Cause I was like, this is the last, I'm in the red zone right now. This is exactly when I'm gonna fuck up my shake. So, shakes destroyed. I walked 20 feet to the blanket and I said, oh, he's girl.

To my girlfriend, I said, Matty messed up the shake that I got for you, which was a lie for me. But you fucking, you went and got the shake. It's ruined now. I mean, that's the matter who it's for. The taxes. And then I gave the boy a third of a shake, that's the matter. It doesn't matter who it is for. Right.

And then I gave the boy a third of a shake, scrape all the sand off and you can still have some. Yeah. And I gave the boys their ice cream sandwiches. Yeah. I got for them. Like, here you go. Here's your ice cream sandwiches.

And then they started eating them. They get happy. They're like, hey, can I have a bite? Ice cream sandwich. And he said, no. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Flarey. Yep. Fl. Okay. Play areas. Yep. Play areas. Alright. So we pack up a couple hours later, get ready to go home. You've got revenge in your back pocket. Yeah.

I was annoyed by that. Oh yeah. Sure. Oh yeah. I would be too. I say, hey, Bamboo, Bamboo, can I get a bite of that ice cream sandwich? Oh, you're like, yeah, he still has it? No, this is right back when he goes, oh, ask Irishman and I said, okay,

can I get a bite of your sandwich? He goes, no, ask, bam, yeah, very funny. Very funny. Very funny. We'll see about this. So we go to leave hours later. An old Mexican guy pulls up in his ice cream cart next to our cars.

He's like loading his ice cream cart and I said, oh, wow, look at this. Ice cream guy comes right to us. Hey, boys, do you want an ice cream for the road? My sister goes, no at this. Ice cream guy comes right to us. Hey boys, do you want ice cream for the road? My sister goes, no, no, no, no, they had enough. And they said, I looked up at her and they looked at me and I was like, hey boys, what do you think about a little ice cream to row?

What do you think? What do you want? Pick anything out of the card. They go, really? This is getting real mean. This is getting really mean. I think the little five year old goes, oh I want, I want that watermelon set like that sour,

the little, it's like a lemonade thing. Oh yeah. Ice cream thing, whatever. He picks his, and my other name goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want that same one. So it's all right. So I go over there, I was like, hey, can I get one of these,

the watermelon thing that they're pointing to, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was like, let me get two spoons too. And he goes, here you go. And they said, all right, all right. I was like, hey, guys, thanks for sharing your ice cream with me earlier. Have a good day and took it up. And took it over. Oh my God.

Oh, what? That is fucked up. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, threw one spoon over my shoulder. There won't be needing this. What does your sister say? Did she just shook her head? She's like, yeah.

And she didn't want them to have it anyway. No, she didn't want them to have it. That's fucking mean. Fucking ever not. Once you not give me a point of view. You know, it's funny, it's like fucking assholes. No, they will give it to you in the future, I think. No, they're gonna just make, they're probably gonna do something worse.

Oh, you think so? Because I fucked them up. Yeah, but I mean, sometimes with kids, they're gonna just make, they're probably gonna do something worse. Oh, you think so? Because I fucked them up. Yeah, but I mean, sometimes with kids, they're like, well, I don't want that to happen to me again. So I better, I better do it. They don't care. They like the suffering of its funny. Because even as I was driving away,

I partially raised them. Even as I was driving away, I could tell one of them was about to cry, but they're still like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, that's so funny, that's so mean. Yeah. Okay, this is the hard men working hard. They got a new song. I don't do voicemails, this is,

despite all my wage. You have the month with a smile of faces. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, come on. Let me hear the whole thing. Despite all my wage, Patreon or Com slash the dick show. See you next Tuesday. The sun's up, so it's tricin' shine and I roll out of bed and get dressed My soul's shined and my shirt pressed Big smile now, I'm lookin' sharp but I gotta fill in the things

You look a fuck cause it might be your long drive ahead So I'm whiting fate but running all the rags I lean back and cry I'm tryin' to crash the car before I head inside Where I, we the big guy, firm shake He pulls me inside and says, hey mate now You know you're a starma number one The guard that jumped for you, my son

Listen up cause, tonight you know you're a starman number one The guard that jumped for you but son, listen up cause Tonight you have to stay back and he dumped us back into my lap Come when you're done with that, just one more task Can you eat in the ship directly from my house? Be in it, and I'll be there Just tell me to jump on my bitty hill How high now, son, I'll jump till it hurts Somebody's looking to change drugs, it's too late

My time is cheap, and so's my fee I won't ever sleep, no it's all the week I'm at your feet, until the grave What better way to live than living like your fucking slave But hey, it's just another day in this gay earth Yeah, it worked like a slave, but I gotta earn That's the man, when they gonna pay me what I'm worth So he handed me a book of a letter

Take it when you're here, go, this is what you are Make a place in the bottom of the shit pile So I did just what he said it took a doll I live a single bit of it, I took a doll with a smile This is it, it's your life now, what you think? Don't like it too bad, what you gonna do? Quit gonna do something about a hot kid? Nah, you and I both know you ain't gonna do shit

I get back to the stacked up a quick little bitch But for us, if you were the double-shifte, yes sir, whatever you wish Ha, god damn I love working for him So just ask me anything I'll be down, just tell me to jump by my beneath How high you now, sir? I'll jump to the hills now Cause I'm here to serve

My time is cheap and So it's my feet I won't ever sleep no it's for the week So I map your feet Until the grain My weight is in okay if I take Christmas holidays No faster the days tough in the face sucks Yeah, remember there was a give away to cock

But I spent a damn being on me Judd piece I should reject and read Not even if we cannot Keep up, we'll give it everything We've got all that to win on a little secret I do it all for free But my name will be framed in the hole The greats employee of the month with a smile of face

What it takes to make a place So gone I've got the quickest for a framed in the hole that creates employee gear The month with a smile on face will do what it takes to make a place So gonna be the quickest for a rat in the race Get off the face, come on with bombers made it now I'll stop more taking breaks and race the fingers You're glory away, just taste the flames and explain it Hey, you'll save time Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ� I'll beat them, just tell me to jump on my bimmy,

I'll hide now, sir, I'll jump till it hurts. And then, then, then, then, my time is jeep of man, so it's my feet, I won't ever sleep no, it's for the weak, so I'll mat your feet until I believe Hard men working hard. That was great. Oh, these guys are so fucking good. Dude, that's, that just got better and better. I wish I could do more to make those guys more popular, you know.

That was great synth shit too. They're so good. Like that wasn't getting better. They're, I mean, they're fucking good. What do you want to say? They got to be famous though. Sure. They got to be more.

They can't be so, you can't, because you can't be famous and be good. You know, okay. Well, you know, maybe you could at what, any more, any more, you can't be, I mean, you can't be great. You can't be popular and be that good. Is that makes sense? Very rude. I mean, I guess it depends.

I mean, well, if you're saying a lot of really popular stuff is crap. Yeah, sure. And I don't think these guys could be, my mom's never gonna listen to this. I'm gonna be you, I don't think these guys could be like my mom's never going to listen to this. I'm going to be like, oh yeah, that's awesome. But yeah, I mean, it's like the lyrical content and stuff too.

I mean, it's not going to, it's not going to hit with everybody, but I just wish they were more famous. Well, they're always, they're clever. Too clever. Maybe like the Taliban's a private business. Maybe. Maybe. like the Taliban's a private business. That's too clever. Uh, here's the, the, um, the vets, vets are on suicide watch.

Now, Sean literally after Afghanistan. Yeah. Well, what's, what was it all for? Why did we have to lose Pat Tillman? Why do we have to kill Pat Tillman? Yeah. Why did we do that? Why did we do that? Why did we do that?

Marines, somebody sent this in. Marines. Marines. As each of us tries to comprehend the speed and scope of events in Afghanistan this week, some may be struggling with a simple question. Was it all worth it? For you? No.

No. I can answer that for everybody. Now here's a bunch of lies. We're gonna try to, you know when they ask a question in a newspaper article and the answer is always no. Like is milk a new form of racism? No. Right, right.

Yeah, that's a good, that's, could wearing masks actually be helpful to your developing child. Okay. No. Right? Anytime it's a question, it's always no. It's always a sensationalized question.

And the answer is always the least, yeah, you know, the least sensational. So I got my legs blown off like the Lieutenant Dan. You're Afghanistan. Please tell me how this is worth it. This is worth it. I got how much money. Did you know they're not even paying for people's flights

out of Kabul? I'm not surprised at all. They said to get on, you have to sign a promissary note for they think about two grand to fly out. They couldn't just... I mean, why sign the note? Just send somebody around with a gun to take two, or a watch,

or whatever you got around. That's probably worth about two grand. We see videos and photos. As soon as this country's fucking done with you, you are fucking, you're pushed under the rug, man. When you're dead, you mean that's when the country's done with you. Okay. Because until then, there's more to take. Oh, no, I mean, like, you mean? That's when the country's done with you. Because until then there's more to take. Oh, no, I mean, like, you know, in the military. Oh, yeah. It's such a... The reason that you're over there doesn't suit our purposes anymore. Yeah, come on home. And don't you fucking complain about shit. The reason that I'm... We fed you when you were over there.

Yeah, mostly. Yeah. We trained you. Yeah. We gave you important and we gave you important life skills. Following instructions training. So you just do whatever you're told. We gave we gave you that. The reason I'm disciplined, the reason I so talk about how much I hate the military so much is because they use this shit to trick kids to signing up and getting fucking maimed. Like, yeah. You're 18 and they're feeding you this horse shit. Like, if you're born in Nebraska

and you're going to football games and you're going to fucking sporting games every day and they're fucking praising the military and everybody's, you know, is doing a fucking romance salute for the fucking military. You don't really have consent or not. Then they send this shit out to convince their brand ambassadors. It's like a fucking MLM scheme.

Yeah. Here, hey, come to the military. You wrapped this shit around your waist and you magically lose weight. Oh, wow, well, it didn't, it actually was causing cancer. So we're gonna train our brand ambassador, we don't want our brand ambassadors, the people who are wounded

and you have PTSD and shit to start giving the wrong message out. We want you dumb motherfuckers to be on brand, which is yes, it was worth it. It's about protecting women and girls and women and girls and women and girls. We see videos and photos. We read stories that bring back memories for some of us and it becomes intensely personal. We value human life and we want to believe that what Marines have done in Afghanistan made a difference While Sergeant Major Black and I don't know that sounds made up Maybe is this false? Is this again another fucking false thing? No, I mean, Sergeant Major Blad just think it's, I mean, it's like a space balls thing. You know, maybe this is a fake. Major asshole. I don't even know how it's fake. Well, no, I mean, maybe it's fake. It doesn't, I mean, no, but I mean, it seems like

another fucking screenshot. How do I even check this? No, but I mean, it's, I gotta look it up. It's not written like it's fake. I mean, it's, it's not written like it's fake. I mean, just from what I've scammed, it doesn't seem because it's not, there's not enough hidden. You're right. We both believe without question that your service was meaningful, powerful and important. You answered the call to serve, proudly carrying the torch of so many generations of Marines before you. You put the generations of Marines before you.

You put the good of others before yourself. You fought to defend your country. You were out first, too, by the way. You were evacuated first before anybody else. You put the good of others before yourself. You fought to defend your country, your family, your friends, and your neighbors. Where was that? That's what I mean.

It's always defending you and your neighbors. Where was that? That's what I mean. It's always defending you and your family. You're in your country. Was there a, yeah, just the shit that they expect people to swallow and do get people to swallow is really, it's really offensive once you've been around the block a couple times. You've brought to prevent terror from returning to our shores. Okay. Well, I guess, I guess just now that the borders are wide open for all the Evac, all the Afghani evacuees to come in with no papers. Did you see that? The Taliban confiscated all of the

documents for the people who were, oh, yeah, biometric scans for our helpers. And then they just left all that shit. And then tell them, oh, awesome. They took it all and then went door to door beating them with chains if you're on the, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Johnny Cochran level shit right there. That's a security slogan. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't come up with that. I wish I could pretend it was too good.

No, I mean, I can't protect it. Don't collect it. Right. And they never protect it. No. Check its fucking hacked all the time. You fought for the liberty of young Afghan girls, women and boys. Yeah, you made it. I mean, you made it,

it's ultimate practical joke. Hey girls, why don't you study, go to school, and study to be whatever you want, and then the day you graduate, we're gonna let a bunch of terrorists come in and make you a concubine. Oh. Get it?

That before the July. Uh. What? I'd rather not got an ice cream. That before the July. Uh, what? I'd rather not got an ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, why don't we give the girls the guns? Let's at least air drop some pepper spray on Afghanistan, right?

Girls, we know did you, did we teach you how to use pepper spray? I know that we, we, you went to college, right? So you learned how white men are rapes. So here's some pepper spray that you can use your training that we taught you in cut to get these guys. Why don't we give the girls the fucking guns? They'll at least be motivated. Yeah.

Or have a little vested interest. Got something more to lose. Right. God damn. Every training video, it's all guys. Why? They didn't have a choice who got trained. And they said, no, guys, you fuck off

because you don't carry the, all of you guys, all your 99% in support of Sharia law. So let's get the girls out here. Here, you take guns. I mean, you can't be any worse than what it was. You fought for, you fought for the Marine to your left and the marine to your right. What about to your front? Or your rear? The hokey marine, you put your, you put your right marine out, you put your left marine in,, Pout, Tillman.

You never ever gave up too soon. Yeah, you live with purpose, with intent. It's like reading a eat-pray love for men. It's really pathetic. Was it worth it? Yes. Does it still hurt? Okay, whatever. Who cares? Who signed that? Okay, whatever. Who cares?

Who signed that? It was two people, right? Semper for the David H. Burger and Troy E. Black. Bunch of marine guys that are so, that have all these medallions all over their chests. Look at me. I have all these medals and medallions. Whoops, no one could have predicted what happened.

What are all the fucking metals for then you idiot? Lane, let me pull up the metal thing. Flights have to be paid for. Oh, I can't, I don't have it. Army, metals, Eisenhower versus Afghanistan. I can't find it. What is it?

Whoever the general was in charge of fucking up Afghanistan. What about Eisenhower though? Well, because I look at Eisenhower's got like one medal, one, you know, one of the greatest. One more or two. Eisenhower has increasingly been held in high regard and it should only go up. That guy was so fucking smart and so ahead of his time and his vision was. And he warned, he warned about what fucking ended up happening. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he said the military industrial complex is fucking influenced

science and research and research and fuck up the entire country. And the next, who was a Truman was in next and it was like, he didn't want to, he was the guy who the people people everybody wanted him to run. Yeah. Because he wasn't fucking he wasn't a fucking here it is. Here it is. A psycho who was like, I want to rule the world. This is one of war. Look at all these look at all these. No, I know. Hanson shit him a doubt and frequent fly miles, fucking wings that these generals are wearing. This is a joke. There's nothing like the Craven, the predatory way that the army generals pray

on masculinity is extremely homoerotic. Like weirdly, non-sexual, predatory, homoerotic, and it is evident to me in all of those stupid merits and accolades and pins and shit that they wear. Is he a... It's just... It's grotesque.

Is he a general or a waiter at TGI Fridays? Yeah. Come in and piece as a flare, he goes. Oh my. And then you compare this to like the North Korean got where it's just an entire thing of metals. Like do you do you do you which how are like do you think you're in the middle but they're all metals? Yeah, do you think that you're in the middle between eyes and how are and those and those fucking like regimes or whatever want to call them because you're not right the second you win one step away

the second you went one step away from this one, you became entirely this one. Yeah. Um, I'm trying to think of like the, the last really high profile military leader or military person who became president like worthy of respect. And I think it was probably Eisenhower. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Well, because that's when the military industrial complex kicked in big time.

And America was never the same. Uh, what I was going to say, Truman, the guy after before, after FDR, he dropped the bombs. Oh, yeah. Truman took over when FDR died. Truman started it because Truman took the atomic bomb program and turned it from a tactical, nuclear battlefield nuclear warhead. Do not fucking send me corrective emails on this. You're wrong. Oppenheimer had planned it to be a battlefield tactical nuke from the very beginning and Truman took it and turned it into a doomsday device,

which means an entirely political device. Like there's no point in having a doomsday device. I have a Russian. Yeah. Yeah, like there's no point in having a duet. The Russian, yeah. And, and, uh, investigated Oppnerheimer as a, as a communist. Yeah, he did. He did.

Okay, let's see a voice. Puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, to do the do the do the do the it is a master car call and on the show again uh... uh... i read your your tweet and it's you're totally correct about this whole idea where people are happy about the banks claim in one area but they get pissed off about it in another area

it's completely obviously there's a color of rationale with these people that they sit on discord all day and like the late themselves with the political opinions. And there are opinions about women. Absolutely no logic. It's it's a battle of care. There it is. I'll tell you what there's with like shitty crop dust or haircut. all these kids are so influential it's it's not a matter of all i'm thinking on the side of reason because uh... influential able to be influenced the blue check mark it's not a strong it's they they went to one influence on maybe one one

softering found and they was out of coke colin they got rejected from that group so they just went and got some fucking gatorade or some i don't know patsy one uh... soft drink fountain and they was out of coke all and they got rejected from that group so they just went and got some fucking gatorade or some but i don't know patsy it's a ronda and i'll use our bad arguments on both sides i don't know it's not good

the fact that they can't join together and understand with a real enemy is the international banking cartel uh... then you're you're to keep losing your rights. This vaccine passport, shit, is designed by the same people, or it's pushed by the same people. You don't think the banks are pushing the fucking government for a bunch of issues? Right? This is history. It's an olders time. How many fucking revolution? Reconciliation, make a sound, right? now? I don't want any part of this Okay, I don't want to get fuck it

Disappeared or whatever, but I'm just saying This is the problem, right and it's funny that you're starting to see this now dick. Yeah, maybe you thought before but It's a very good point you made is what I'm trying to say Anyways, fuck the banks Yeah, because guys are celebrating that only fans could shut down. So they're like, oh, thoughts patrolled. I'm like, well, you know, you realize that,

that like the same payment processors are what's knocking us off pay balance stuff. Like you guys understand that, right? Well, that's the, yeah. Yeah. And I think it's, because I see a lot of guys celebrating it. And I think it is as simple and as pathetic as they think women can be saved.

And this is what makes me able to see this and not them. It's because I don't think women can be saved. I have a very low opinion of people. And so they think, well, if only fans shut down, now these women will be able to come back to God and me specifically. It's like, you dumb motherfucker. You never, you never have anything of interest to them.

All they want is money. It's, they're just going to, the same women are who go to only fans and do whatever they do on only fans are just going to shift their attention to somewhere else where they can do basically the same thing. Yeah, were they going to have a kid and then hook you in legally and then just treat the kid like shit or whatever. I mean, for the rest, I mean, like this brought here that this guy's talking about. That's the like taking away only fans doesn't magically fix them because they don't, they're

not broken. That's why they're supposed to be like this. Satan designed women to be like this and they take on my break at work i literally just went to the store right across mine and i was

and i so this part my new rage are when people take drugs and then they go to work and then they say, oh, that was such a bad idea. Don't fuck yourself. That was a bad thing. I can't imagine so many people who aren't on drugs at work. You're having a good one. Yeah, it's true. I just pay you to show up, not be sober. That's true. That's extra.

You know, people were making fun of destiny for accidentally doing meth. Yeah. Like, as though it could never happen to them gloating about it. It's like, what is the... Do you even know what you're talking about? Yeah. Like, you've never eaten shit accidentally.

Yeah. Exactly. What do you even know what you're talking about? Like you've never eaten shit accidentally. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Hey, Dave, can you show me? Yeah, I'm sorry, but it's another race. It's people who can't fucking hit their damn tower up. And they sort of weigh that would make sense. So I live now with the woman. talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him.

I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him.

I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him.

I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. If it is hanging out. She's been loading to her P-O tubes behind him. What is he doing? It'll be on the floor somewhere, because she has like 10 feet of hair to dry, and then she, it falls out. This is how people talk on the phone and they call in. Yeah, it can drag it around the floor.

Yeah, it don't build feet. So, yeah, I don't know why. It only seems to be a woman thing. You hang the towel up, you maximize the surface area that's exposed to the air and the towel guys. So I don't come home from work and grab the towel after I shower just find out that it's still moist. Which is always a gross feeling even if it wasn't dragged all over the house. You're like, well, why is this towel all wet? I don't fucking know. I don't want to dry out but I I'm gonna have to get another toe out.

Yeah. And then we end up having to do a lot of laundry. So that's my race. Thanks again for doing the show. Go fuck yourself and hang in there, Sean. Down periscope. Hang in there. Yeah, hang in there.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He spilled his peanut butter powder. That's fucking keyboard. That thing's taken a beating over the last couple of months. Yeah. I use a brand new towel every time. Oh, do you? Yeah. I don't. I got tired of like to grow the drop the wetness and stuff. So I just use it once and then throw it in the hand. I mean, I hang it up.

I hang mine up good. So it's definitely driving next time I use it. And then if I'm out of towels, I just yell at my girlfriend. Right. Why the fuck am I out of towels again? You shake yourself off all over the bathroom like a dog. It's like, what could you made me do? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. What could you made me do? They can show on this. Oh, no. This is former president Dwight D. Eisenhower. Oh, this is how I talk. Really? On your radio program, Sean mentioned that I warned about the industrial military complex in my farewell speech. Maybe. But like every other height, is there another one?

What? The only party remembers. It didn't listen to the rest of the speech. Our warned about the undue influence of government funding on of office that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good tell. An opposite danger that public policy itself could become captive of a scientific technological belief. That's why you idiots. I want 50 years ago that the government would

pay scientists to produce results. Yeah. It could be used to generate a scientific reason to throw away all of your rights. Your friend, Ike. Thank you, Ike. Yeah, he did. Why don't you do something about it then?

He's dead. Eyes on how, why don't you do something about it at the time? You fucking dick. Okay, here you go. Hi, dick. There's been something on my mind. I'm an evil year rid of it. And the question I have is, how do you solve it? O'Brien is able to beam people up from anywhere on the planet that they are at, to the enterprise.

Yeah. And it's been established. You can beam them up directly to the command center, right? Mm-hmm. The bridge. Yeah. So the question I have is, why on earth do they have

that teleporter room? What's the point of that? You know, we got to walk down here and go into a room. Well, not everybody's allowed on the bridge. Oh, even though... Good point. We already can thank you from any point to any other point. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know. It's been bothering me. What do you mean it makes perfect sense? I don't know what to say about that. Like, I don't know, go park yourself.

What are you gonna just beam? You're gonna be beamed from your room. Everybody's gonna be beamed from disparate parts of the ship to where they're going. So you're ready and now you're just standing in your room like a shithead waiting indefinitely. Wouldn't make any sense. Are you show up to the the teleporting room

And Riker's like well wait, we don't have any is did everyone bring or you're wearing that? War if you're dressing the wrong thing. We're going on a we're going on a we're going to Risa or whatever but a risa we're not going to some right geez fucking Draw even shorts war going to some, right, geez, fucking, when you're drawing, you're wearing shorts, war, you're wearing shorts. You look like a dick. I can't imagine anybody in Star Wars and shorts. Just skirts.

That's because it's a socialist society, an ungendered unisex socialist society where they wear skirts and pants and have to constantly pull their shirts down. They did. Well, they started to make it part of the, the acting because the uniforms fit so poorly. Yeah, yeah. That's the few chairs. When they stand up, they all, you know,

cruising around at 10 times the speed of light or cruising around at 99% the speed of light and you're constantly fucking pulling down your shitty fitting shirt. Mm-hmm. What happens to the come in the holodeck holiday that dog wants to get at me so bad? She's just looking at me. Wait. Ah, Maddie. Oh, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. See? Pick her up. She's to pull out all the cables I know.

I think I almost pulled her eyes out when she blew by me. Yeah. Nice, my man. Nice. Okay, here we go. Good to see you too. Hey, Maddie, come here. Vaccine hesitancy.

Master's degrees. Lave owners. Oh, boy. Okay. She's going to get on mic. That's a good point. Master's degrees, Sean. Racist.

That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist.

That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist. That's racist get rid of those. We got to call them something else. Fun time degrees. Smart, I just like the master bedroom. It's associated with slavery like thought no one ever fucking dumb. Okay, one more. Okay. One more. Oh, that's a good one. Hey, dick. Hey, you know, here's a show in Chicago. Did you get a veto? Hi. What the hell? So my rage is, my problem is making noises during sex. I don't think women appreciate just how painful it is to have to like make those stupid grunts like pleasure. I guess I don't know during sex. Like they obviously like it. I've never once in my entire life have I felt,

have I reactively grunted, that it's been like a, I think it's like, I'm like, you're sick. So I just spend like, I have to tell myself to do, because I really want to hear it. And I do not think they appreciate or understand

just how painful it is. They're like, we don't normally do shit, but the stupid fuck, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. how painful it is. I'm like we don't normally do shit. It's stupid fuck. They love it though. You have to do it. Because I want to look like you're doing a good job. Yeah. But in real time and a thousand times worse.

Oh! And I think it would be a lot easier to put on a show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladies listening to the show. just tell your man once. Hey, baby, I really appreciate you. It sounds like a smooth brain to retard. Thanks for making all those noises. Instead, I really appreciate you putting yourself in there.

That's the second smooth brain reference. Probably, if there's anything else you can get them honestly. Has that term shot up in popularity lately? Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. They don't understand how much work we do for them, women, and they do none for us. We're all completely selfless.

So generous, generous and spirit. Yeah. Making all these fucking noises. You have to tell, you have to make a horrible, horrible mess in the kitchen. Just so, you know, girlfriend feels useful in that. Oh yeah, I mean, yeah. It's like, oh God, I'm fucking going. I'm so crazy with sex.

Oh, go shit. Oh my God, I'm gonna come. Like that, right? Just like that. And the kitchen with onion, knocking stuff off, stuff. Oh, well like supermarkets sweep. That's how I look.

I'm gonna dig sucked. Whoa, knocking all the stuff in the cart. They don't appreciate it. Shatter a giant bottle of balsamic vinegar all over the place. Throwing my shoes. Whoa, wow. Like I'm a fucking roller coaster.

That's what women, why do you bring all your shoes over with an arm's length? You know, just pick them up and throw them. Oh, yeah. It sounds like Rip Taylor when I'm getting my dick. Oh, shooting confetti all over. That's what they want. Shooting confetti grows. That's what women want. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're getting your dick sucked

Wow shooting yo-yo's around Just making noise for no reason. They love it. You have a lot of party supplies. I Keep it all nightstand. There you go supplies. I keep it all in night stand. There you go. So when I'm getting my dictionary, these glasses, these 2000 glasses, new year's glasses that hide up, oh boy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the Asian ones. That guy's right. Yeah. All right. Bye, everyone. See ya. Thank you.