The Dick Show - Episode 279 - Dick on Swallowing Hair

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Dave Chapelle is canceled, a self-defense school shooting, "Fat Watch" with Tess Holiday, Adam from Houston has fun with a speculum, a never-ending state of un-safety, swallowing hair, whistleblowing, carbon-saving driving directions, and electroshocking your brain to cure depression from being fat; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Why do it sober when you don't have to? Sunday. Always do it in your natural state. Yeah. Yeah. No more comfortable like this. I realize, I realize recently that you only have a turning 40 maybe. You only have a finite amount of times you can get drunk left.

Yeah. So don't waste them. Not drinking. That's what I came to the realization. I guess technically everyone has a finite amount of times there. But you don't think about that when you're in a pit. You just drink and you say, oh, I'm never going to do it again. But then you get to a point in your life and you're like, why would I

ever even threaten something like that? Well, because you probably know yourself well enough to go, yeah, I'll do it again. It's just not something to joke about. You got to treasure every opportunity you have because you only have a finite amount of times to go out and get obliterated left. Have you estimated how many times you'd have left? Yeah, I mean, God.

Did you imagine that in your mind, if you actually were like, if I had a counter like in spawn, you remember that show spawn? Yeah. He had a magic counter. There was how many spells he could use. And it would dwindle a little bit every time he used a spell. And you would go to hell after that. Yeah. If you would you want to know? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Makes sense. I don't know. And I would want to know everyone else's. So I could tell them without them having a choice in it. Like, I know your number. Do I want to know and I would want to know everyone else's so I could tell them without them having a choice in it. Like, I know your number. Do you want to know? I'm be like, no, I don't want to be surprised. Too. It's too, yeah.

What's your telly sooner? I wasted all that time talking about how I don't know because I'm so highly evolved. It's such a weird cope. People invent scenarios of omniscience just so they can choose not having it. Have you noticed that? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a sick thing. It always annoyed me about people.

If I had the choice to live forever, I would choose not to. You don't have the choice to live forever. And if you did, you would do it. You idiot. What are you talking about? If you look at it as anything other than something to get a chuckle from, look at it, if you look at it as anything other than something to like get a chuckle from your your like if you really have like a passionate argument on

one side, that's insane. What are you talking? Oh, I wouldn't want to things would get boring after a while. Like why did you go through this invention of choosing to be like do you realize how to arrange that? It's like, It's like how all of entertainment, Hollywood, et cetera, all of these movies and stories are just made to make you appreciate the shitty life that you have, right? Like all the story swapping, like Nicholas Cage and Family Man where he's like a cool, they take away, they show something like that.

I don't know what I'm gonna remember it. To have a family and at the end of the movie, he's like, oh my God, I wish I wasn't this rich, cool guy. That pursued his dreams and bangs, hot girls. I wish I had fucking taili-ony. I wish I was married to Jaili-ony and I was a family man. And they say the name of the movie, right? Oh, God.

So then he tries to reverse it and all the fat slabs in the audience are, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, This is the way I prefer it actually. Live forever, not for me. Not for me. Dying, oh yeah, getting old, rotting in a fucking corpse so your mind blinks in and out like a fucking busted computer. Like that guy in the meme looking at that, living forever, going that, I don't even know how I get started on this.

I don't know. Drinking, my point wise. Drinking, how many times you have left? You only have a finite amount of times to get drunk left. That's right. So what are you doing? Not doing it, get out there there start drinking now. I'm drinking now for God's sake You're losing ground. It's Columbus Day. It's Columbus They're trying to erase the holiday shine

Columbus a racer Yeah Welcome Nick you want to give you a big you got it as a show it's a couple of things a contest Can you learn from a mountain live from mountain brokardee in the hardest city if you're gonna host a match And it gets 20 million dollar man the American worst Mexican to round off a Hispanic heritage month to worst Mexican to round off Hispanic heritage month, 150, 160 weeks in a row, Jesus Christ, joining me is always world touring LA-based community to show on the audio engineer. Hello, Dad. What's up, buddy?

It's pretty good, yeah. Thank you. The rest of it. The rest of it, not so much, but I don't fucking care anymore. I know, but you made up for that. I don't care. You were complaining about your yes,

you know, for a little bit, yeah. I had like a black yeah. That was like, on the bonus episode. It was like a yoo. Oh yeah, that was, you know, for a little bit, yeah, I had like a black, yeah. That was like, in the bonus episode. It was like a, you, oh yeah, that was a little odd. I remember that. My back was so sore I couldn't do it properly, but my back was fine now. Oh, that's good.

My back is fine now. How could I fix it? Alcohol, the alcohol fixed it. Yes, take two of these and call me the morning. What's a Hispanic Heritage Month? Collette, there's a new book, Hispanic the morning. Um, what's that Hispanic heritage month? Collot, there's a new book of Hispanic heritage month. No one, no one does. Isn't that bullshit?

Well, yeah, I mean, it's Hispanic heritage month. Yeah. There we should be, everyone should be wearing some brahows, doing the eye poppy all around and my belt. Ammo belts. Yeah. Fuck it.

Oh, withered, whatever that scout shows. Right. Pachos. That's not shows. Showing badges. Oh man. Yeah. This fucking badge, this vaccine, shit.

We don't need this shit. We don't need no stinking badges. Badges. Fuck you. You know how they round it out? Hispanic Heritage Month in California here. No. Band leaf blowers. you you know how they rounded out his panic heritage months in california here uh... no band

leaf blowers can you believe they would do that to my people's john it's a leaf blower yet i don't have a period fucking mexicans take all the leaf blowers and throw them back over the wall like a city ordinances or state why the city ordinances weren't enough they said was i right here thank you gavin Newsom for signing my build a band

The sale of gas powered leaf blowers and other small engine equipment. Is it the gas power? 2024 so now you're gonna have a bunch of Mexicans going around like the energizer bunny with 20 pound batteries on their back silently blowing leaves everywhere like a task mania Because of that because of the gas and the noise or the... Oh, I mean... Sean. Oh, the noise is, oh god. Like how long do they fucking noise?

Yeah, fuck eat the rich, eat the white. That's my, the people. They're the people who have a problem with these leaf blowers. Well, who do you think they are? They're fucking insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fucking insane. Maddox had a huge problem with leaf blowers. Well, how do you think they are? They're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're talking insane, mad, excited, huge problem with leaf blowers.

You remember him? Always so angry and tearing out his nose hairs because he had no hair on top to tears. Oh, this fucking leaf blowers making it impossible for me to write, but I can play candy crush with the leaf blower. That's somehow the only thing I can do. Right, 3D model. Jesus Christ

I saw Scott Adams complaining about a waste of the whole day of Creativity because of the leaf blowers you can you fuckers grow up? Yeah, you can you can write in a war zone literally People are writing books in prison and you're complaining about this white noise I was, yeah. Oh god, I can't work under these good, yeah. Right, like now, total, I'm writing, I'm fucking writing a great masterwork. Oh, total, so I'm just being so, and then, yeah. Oh my god, it's totally ruined.

It's ruined, I can't be, how can anyone be expecting a work like this? I folded up and threw it in the fireplace. I couldn't stop myself. So complicated, my thoughts are so fucking complicated. Like a crystal palace. I had it. I had it. Yeah, I had it.

I had the meaning of life in my fucking graphic novel that I was writing. The next great American novel. So I, here's a, of course, the newspaper has a conveniently timed, here's why leafblowers are evil incarnate, lawnmog, you know, some dumb bitch, throwing it out here as soon as the bill passes to make sure everyone's unified in hatred. Yeah.

And this is the Wall Street Journal. So they talking about, is she talking specifically about California or just like, is it like a nationwide story? She's talking about the scourge of leaf blouse, the scourge of their insane. They're like bumper sticker people. You have a bumper sticker on your car. You're a fucking lunatic. You're entitled to the whole lane.

You think it all belongs to you? Leaf blouse is saying, I can't believe these leaf blower. Bitch, that's a fucking Hispanic heritage that's trying to work. Do you understand that you've all been terrified of a magical disease that's in the air. You've been so afraid of COVID that you can't see going around being on surfaces like you're on your cameras.

On your cameras. On your cameras. On your cameras. I'm so terrified of COVID. Oh, that's what you're afraid of. It's not just going outside and looking dumb in front of your friends. That's it.

Like COVID is like a like not a term. Yeah, that's what I liked about COVID. It's actually COVID's monster. That's what I found funny. You've been so afraid to even see your, you won't even, you lock your children in a room, right? In some cases, I was screaming to get out but I slip in pieces of baloney,

and I got a meat slicer like Kramer, like that guy whose name we want to use because he said the N word. And you're terrified of COVID, right? But you also hate leafblowers whose sole existence is to stop disease and pestilence. Like they're a breeding ground for disease and pestilence and ticks and li actual transmissible

diseases. I'm pretty sure it's to clean up the cut grass and the. Yeah, but you let them stack up. That's that's that's you've got you've got rotting you've got rotting foliage on your yard. Okay, okay. This is bad. This is bad. Okay. Cleaning up. Yes. You got to clean your room, John. Keep going. Uh, here was the quote with this fucking bitch. The leaf blowers, this suburban life with the 3am rave is in the short term rental apartment upstairs. Oh, shut up. They happen, they're completely out of your control.

They make you want to commit murder. This is the kicker in the article. I don't know why I'm bringing this in first. This is her reason. This is her first reason why they're bad. The time at which a leaf blow or start up is always the worst possible time. Perhaps you're putting your tiny golden baby child

down for an app. Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I just, excuse me, cancel objection? Yeah. Are you telling me that a woman with a baby is complaining about other people making noise? Bitch, put that baby in a sack

and throw it in a fucking river. So this reads, so this reads like, nothing makes more noise than a fucking baby and it's evolutionarily designed to be the most annoying sound ever so you don't let the kid fucking die. That's why they're too too stroked diesel engine. Yeah. It's not made to annoy you. A baby was designed by God to annoy you.

That's why I fucking have no right to bitch about Hispanic heritage month. Yeah. They cry. They're sucking little Ted Sucker in your arms. They cry on our most sensitive hearing range. Yeah. That's why it's seconded only by a woman's complaining. Oh, seconded only. Well, they raised their second only, you know, 2K zone to, you know, because the men, all the men who weren't annoyed by women's complaining murdered them and their offspring all died. Right. Only the men who could be incapacitated

by women's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I'll gotta hit fucking take you anymore, I'm going out. I'm going out to get bored, fuck you. Not coming back. I might not come back. There's a huge line at 7-Eleven,

took like 30 years. There's a woman who looks like you on my way back. I might get confused. Oh, whoa, I thought it was you, I don't know. So this reads like tongue in cheek so far. No, tongue in cheek. What do you mean? I mean, it all looks like it reads like it's a spoof. Yeah, but then they took away the Mexicans leaf blows.

Yeah. So I mean, it's comedy is as just as dangerous as Ron comedy is my point. Having food. This reads like an onion article. Oh yeah, but it's the Wall Street Journal, you know. They're the ones who killed Ralph. Who killed Ralph's streaming career, you remember that? Vagley.

He's got a baby on the way, he's got a baby girl. Oh my God. How far he's saying? Oh baby. Baby girl. Oh man, you're gonna have all manner of demons coming for that little girl trying to corrupt her If Ralph believes in God, he better start he better start believing in two gods for that one. Oh, baby It's two times the God two times the God in your life

I'm man. That's a good idea to start believing in God all I've said That's a good idea to start believing in God. All I've said, cause oh man, oh man. Jolt Cola of God. Yeah, you need super God. All the sugar twice the God. Whatever you can do to keep that little girl and straight and narrow.

I don't wanna say anything, I'm not even implying anything about a kid, but you know kids are very rebellious. We're also very rebellious and stubborn. Imagine if she gets that, oh baby, oh baby. Oh, mama, me, keep that, give that girl the light of God, keep that God in her life. Judge twice a day.

Fucker in her room. Fucker in her, shut the door. Bologna in the door. Oh, mama. I had other stuff that's how they wrap up his spanish heritage month. Fucking, so you're a little Mexican guy. Where are you gonna get,

where you gotta go to Home Depot and put a new battery powered Tesla leaf blower and throw a bunch of burritos down and put this on layaway. And maybe you clean a thousand yards, you pay it off. Yeah. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Can't the little guy get a break? How about these bitches stop sitting in coffee shops? Okay, how much carbon does a lot taste spew into the atmosphere? I don't know. Probably a lot. Well, you have to go get it. You exactly?

So you, you know. Exactly. You guys saw on Google or Waze or something. It was not, you could show not the shortest route. The lowest emission, releasing route. Because it's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Because they, what they figured like, more stops and goes, equal more emissions or something. I mean, get the car moving again.

Just don't go. Do you need to go to target twice a day? Do you need to go to, because they might get a delivery, they might get a new delivery of savings at the end of the day. Yeah. That you could go by some happy fall, y'all.

Here, I'll tell you what makes me rage. Halloween decorations. Okay. I can Halloween decorate it. Because there are no, Halloween is a holiday that you like. I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

But the decorations, I cannot stand. I cannot abide. No. Because they're only up for a month. Yeah. Like, well, at least the Christmas decorations, you can leave it. Just put up Christmas decorations.

Just leave it. Yeah, put a little grace., you can leave it, just put up Christmas decorations. Just leave it. Yeah, put a little grace. Do something to Halloween it up. We were at the, you remember we were at the bar? Yeah, I was watching the Dodger game. Oh yeah. And they always put all these goddamn cobwebs and shit up in this bar.

They did, yeah. So it's like a, it's like a fog. And I think they find the shortest waitress they have to like put them up. Yeah. because they're all hanging back underneath them. Five five. Right. The cobwebs are all descending like the London fog. Yeah.

They didn't exist anyway. But so you're constantly getting them in your hair, constantly getting a Randy, if you remember three years ago, tore them down. He told me that. Yeah, I was there for that. He tore the cobwebs down so we could just sit peacefully and enjoy our mozzarella sticks without having to ingest polyurethane or whatever that stretchy stringy stuff is. The cobweb fibers.

Telling the story, annoyed, they didn't put them back up, I think because of his embarrassing outbursts at the time. They're as much fewer now. Yeah. I'm sitting there complaining about it, and I suddenly feel a tickling, deep in my throat. I don't know. Like trying to get the way out. Yeah.

I think, well, this is like a hair from a front of my mouth. It's caught on my knee. I start, you know, you pull and it's like, oh God. Yeah. I think it's wrapped around my duodenum or something. Yeah, you're clang with a hankerchief. So I don't want to pull it, because I want to throw up.

I'm drinking a lot. I move a little bit, and when I move, I feel it. Till I, I said, oh no. So you swallowed a long fiber of it. So you swallowed a long fiber of it. So you swallowed a long fiber of it. I look, and there is a witch, like a witch Halloween decoration with this grotesque hair floating

around, one of which, or maybe multiple of which I didn't count. I just shut my eyes and trying to throw it all the way down. It's fucking disgusting. It's fucking disgusting. Like you didn't wrap around something down there. Yeah. You might have pulled your nuts up through your mouth. Randy is a fucking crack up to watch a playoff.

He's insane. He had a, he's just a fucking nightmare. He'd choose on a towel the whole time watching a game like my lab, like my dog. Whenever she gets excited, she has to put a toy in her mouth. Show you. I think it's like a, there's like, oh, I can't, I need something to bite like, oh, yeah, totally. That brings it over to you. He has this Dodger rally towel, right?

That he's never washed. Which he alternated also a comrag between waving it around, chewing on it like somebody's about to dig a bullet out of his leg. And the silver wall and wearing it like Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah. He alternated between those three it like Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah. He alternated between those three things like the entire time. He's a fucking worst, dude. He just, he only watches the game.

And I mean, every, every play. Oh, no, I know the first watch 95% of it, but I was still sure you can respond to people and ask you questions. He's like, yes, nothing. I was still carrying on kind of conversations to my left, you know, or asshole. We're the very first, the very first play of the game. Bar, I mean, there's still like sorting the glasses. Dodgers and the playoffs games.

It was a wild card game. So they have to win. So Randy, Randy comes in. Yeah. Already like at like it's game's, Randy comes in. Yeah. Already like at like about it's game seven of the world series. Yeah. Yeah. First play, like not even a close play like some kind of a, I was like a Miss foul or something or a throw down at second. The boy chooses are still short sorting the glassware. People are kind of ambling in like after work.

Like, oh, this looks like a nice place. Randy just goes, fuck! I can't believe it. I can't believe the bar, like, what do you fuck? I guess they're like two pitches. Yeah, zero, zero, no hits or airs, fuck! Oh my, I wish I was half a fucking chill out for this one, bud. I think I don't think I got there till the second, the top of the second, I think.

Well, do you remember the erectile? Can we ban cigarettes? If cigarettes are not allowed to advertise, we're taking erectile, this function off the menu too. Well, that's what I found out. I didn't know what that company was. And then I feel like an asshole for immediately announcing what it was after the game. It's the MLB. It's a BMLB.

It was a partnership by Roman. And I was like, a reptile this function, every look to me. Like, why do you know so much about a reptile this function? Yeah. Okay. And it was like a silence after the amazing walk off home run. Everybody's all great. And then the TV says, Hey, by the way, you still can't get it up.

Yeah, you can't get it up. Yeah. Well, serial laid the wood on that one. That's not you. Not you. Chris Taylor can. You can't. You can't. You can about doing some Halloween decorations. Yeah. How do you like some sensitive, like, praxis Halloween decorations to help get, like, racial awareness and stuff out there? Do you think that would work? Not the way you would do it.

Yeah, why is that? Like, I could try as hard as I could to raise awareness for something. Yeah. Like, I could put a bunch of, could to raise awareness for something. Like I could put a bunch of like Palestinians going like, a bunch of iron dome, which I found is actually rockets. Not a dome. I thought it was a dome. You did?

No. I didn't think so. Shepel got canceled. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Shepel got canceled. Biggest problem. Yeah, episode is up. Did I oh, oh, oh, big is problem. Yeah, episode is up. Did I already say that? No.

Bonus episode two. Ooh, that's the first shitloads of money. Is it really? Yeah, we're up at like $1,800 or something. Oh, cool. Cause every 500 is another, is a, if we get to 2000, we do a weekly show. And then I get all the money after that, I think.

Was a deal, Fido. We gotta check my emails. I hope it, that was the deal because that's, that's a decent deal. Yeah. Um, yeah, it's great. I brought in, uh, waiters that don't write your order down. Probably some of my, some of my, I always makes me nervous. Okay. Yeah. Got it. So are you sure they messed up my six people's six people at this table and you probably have to stop and talk to somebody. And I said- And I said- And I said-

No onions. Yeah. And so if there's onions, I'm going to shove this hamburger down your throat. And with- I'm going to rip out my hair, stick it in the hamburger, and then shove it in your fucking throat. Basically, if you're a waiter that doesn't write order-down and you listen to the biggest problem episode, the new one, you'll probably kill yourself. You'll be so humiliated and excoriated that you will feel your spirit being ejected

from your body by me, by my assault, auditory assault on you and your character that you will kill yourself, which was the point of it. I think you're gonna be. You ever come home and say, like, honey, you're never gonna believe this. I remembered all the directions to get home. By memory, you have to write them down or anything. No, no one does that.

Only these fucking waiters do. So that's biggest problem, don't you? Yeah, shepelles canceled. Also Columbus Day. Probably give him a great defense of Christopher Columbus. You have a great defense. Okay. That gave him a biggest problem.

Oh, you do. Yeah, I'm not going to repeat it. No. Here, if we already recorded it. Right. Go listen to that. Okay. Here is Dave Chappelle.

He has a new standup, special, I guess. Yeah, but I wouldn't know about it. He was one of the first to really come out against cancel culture. Yeah. Cause he, you know, one of his like, his opening thing was him just ripping on the audience that came to see him.

Oh, what is it? Well, yeah, well, I mean, this is like a deal. It's like, yeah, because you mother fuckers. Like you guys are the ones, yeah. Yeah. So this is a, this is a trans, I don't know if you could tell. Trans women, they don't know how lucky they have it. You know, a woman, a woman who is a supermodel.

Well post a picture online and every man in the world will go, oh, you fat cunt, you look like a bitch, you're lips are thin, your eyebrows look fake, you got flabby fucking arms, you got flabby arms because there's one, you can only be like 17 and a half up until then you got baby fat on your arms and after that you got old lady fat on your arms. You look like a flying squirrel, you fucking bitch, your nose is crooked, what do you eat a sandwich, you whore, right over, crooked. What do you eat a sandwich, you whore? That's a woman's experience online, but a trans woman will pop this up and people go, I mean, I have nothing to say. Right, at all. Right, right. I couldn't possibly,

couldn't possibly point out anything, anything out of the usual and powering that I'm seeing right here. Well, it's like the, it's like big companies, you know, response to China. Yeah, right? Just, I'm not wrong here. I mean, they're culture. You do you, I don't know, you know, you, you, they respect us. Yeah. You respect them, right? That's just how it goes, right? So this, by the way, this is her, this is her like whatever breakdown of the article.

Look at all these pictures of this lady. I think it's kind of a lot of like every different outfit. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not that proud. Looks a little like Chris the Kiwi. You mean Christina Falso? Yes.

I'm not that proud of how I look, right? Sure. I'm going to put pictures of myself all throughout every. What are you doing? Why are you putting so many pictures of you up on the internet? I've never, I've never understood people who either have a that match self confidence or be that much pretend self confidence. Is that what it is? I know no it's what it's what it's what it is or it's not, but in either way, it's sick. Oh,

yeah, it's sick to put that many pictures out. Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me. Look at me, look at me. So this is what I think is funny about it is because white men have wanted to cancel black entertainers for events like that King Cole, right? Like mom would bring in the fictitious mom would bring home a jazz album and dad, a grandpa, a great grandpa goes, I'm not having that shit out yet, right?

Yeah. So if only grandpa had figured out that if he put a wig and a dress on, right, and he came all of a sudden, actually, this jazz is a transphobic and effect, like that, oh, we not, that's what it is. Well, that's, but that, that King Cole actually did that. He became Natalie Cole. Oh, is that how that happened? Yeah, I mean, I've never seen the pictures. I'm sure I have never seen the pictures. I've described the comments about that.

He didn't actually die of cancer. That was a ruse. That was a ruse. Yeah, that was a hoax. Yeah. Right. Are you doing Chris Farley interviews? That was a hardy then.

Oh, hoax. Yeah. So, Chris, I wasn't really dead. I don't know. I just, obviously, I can't explicitly say it, but it's just so humorous to me that the racist white man from the fifties that doesn't want any kind of black entertainment has figured out a way through this evil white machinations to undermine the black entertainment experience, right?

Right, right, by becoming a woman. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, which is, right? They wonder why, right, people own everything. There is no links. There is no links they won't go to. I can never gonna believe this. This is trans activists.

Find Javish Pell's rhetoric offensive. Like, you mean the black, the black comedian, they're very successful, like black comedian that uplifts like black, you know, culture and blah, blah, blah, blah. You define the races like, yeah, a trans woman who happens to be white. Right. Oh, who, a trans woman. Who happens to be white? Right. Oh, who happens to be right?

Hey, you can't say that anymore. It's like a described suspect. Well, he was wearing a blue shirt and the show, dear white people show runner. Okay, so what first time I felt like here's one of the quotes from the trans woman. This is the first time I felt like this is because of his new standup. Yeah. This is the first time I felt like, so this is because of his new standup or... Which I haven't seen. I probably won't see because I hate standup. Yeah, I know you do. I haven't seen it either.

And I don't hate standup. I don't like jokes. Like a joke book. Yeah. You know, like why did the chicken cross the road? Fuck, go fuck your mother. Stuff like that. Yep. The classics. Riding Danger Field. that's a comedian. Well, he had so many one-liner. That's what was so great. It was like, it was like, blah, blah, hilarious.

Yeah. Put a bag on me, a bag, somebody gets a bag. Bitch was ugly. I think that's hilarious. But I never loved Dave's, trans, to call him Dave. You fucking old pals. Before, but this time it felt different. More told variety.

This is the first time I felt like, oh, people are laughing at this joke and they're agreeing that it's absurd to call me a woman. Who would do that? Who would do such, who would do such, how is Dave Chappelle enabled these people to agree with something like that? Tron, that's dangerous.

I don't know but he's dangerous. That's dangerous. He talks about our feelings being hurt. My feelings are fine, but being thrown against a wall hurts or worrying at night if I can get home safe, I know that the truck from hamburger marries to the Abbey in West Hollywood is so fucking dangerous for trans people. They might trip over a pride flag.

Because there's so many, oh god, I have to walk home at night from the paramount studios to my fucking condo next to Hassan Piker, my $3 million showrunner fucking call god oh day japan why would you do this to me is so fucking dangerous the guy he radicalizes people clearly yeah i think i uh... i looked i looked into some of the stats to and i think that the most the trans women the most danger they face is because they can't identify as a woman that keeps their mouth shut. Most of the murders and violence is by their significant other.

Well, I thought that they were dating a man who, you know, instead of like, oh, you are that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, Oh, no, it's not ironic. Here we go. Moore says she's not interested in canceling Chappelle. We're getting Netflix to pull his specials. Don't worry, Sean. She's not interested. No. Don't worry.

She's not interested in canceling. They've Chappelle. Right. If you were worried about that, because it's all about canceling, right? Well, I was. I was worried about that. I was. But no, I'm not worried about that.

I'm not worried about that. No, no, no. What I want, she says, what I really want, is I want companies to hire trans people to work there who can say, hey, are we sure about this? So she doesn't want to cancel Shupel. She just wants to make sure he can't make any jokes ever again. Yeah. So there will never, I don't want to cancel Chappelle. I just want to make sure that you could never do this again. I just want to make sure he's completely neutered.

Yeah. I want to make sure that if you are, if you are inspired by him in any way or you want to contribute to the zeitgeist, if anything, there resembles this or echoes this or is an evolution of this. That's a bunch of trans people will be there in charge to cut your dick off. That's what I, I just, I don't want people to be upset. I'm not trying to cancel Chappelle. Yeah. Don't worry.

You could watch it again because that is the end result of that. Yeah. I mean, that's brazenly. Just want to be there to say. of that. Yeah. I mean, that's brazenly. Just one of the representatives of of of every marginalized group you have just cuts down on the number of jokes you can make. I swear the trans exposure has has done irreparable damage to their cause, putting someone like this in a position of power who says shit like that has engendered more hate than any of Shepel's Joe saying saying that I just want to be, I want someone like

me to be there to stop this is incendiary and totally insane. And that's kind of and I'm a trans ally. Yeah. I know. But you start fucking with comedy. That's it. You got to go. You got gotta go. You gotta go.

That's where, you know, again, we're social media, it social media basically allows the nut jobs to be the voice of a group. Oh, this is variety. This is variety, there's a major trademax. She's a show winner for gear white people. Yeah, no, I know, but also, but it's still all over social media. And it's like, and this person probably has a big following on social media.

So of course, variety is gonna want to, you know, I don't think it's social media. That's a gen, this is old media shit. Well, TV, dear, why, why people to show on Netflix? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She says we're rarely, we're very rarely in any decision making. Yeah.

I mean, that's because you're deciding to cut your dick off. You're right. I don't know about your decision making. Like you're right in this specific case, but I think people do, like the nut jobs kind of do speak for a group, unfortunately. Well, that's the game that we're playing. Yeah. And that's like the most racist Trump supporters, like, well, that's Trump supporters. Like, okay, well, then you got some fucking whack jobs on your side. Let's let's promote them a little bit Yeah, let's just have a big war of the whack jobs. Yeah, we'll cut off the tip the 2% whack whack jobs of everything put them in a Dumb fuck a stand and let them ruin each other's lives Good with that

There you go. So that's fun. Leaf blowers are evil incarnate. I discussed that one. School shooting. Is there a school shooting? I mean, without you got to ask how long here was the question? How long do you think it will be until it's safe for vaccinated people to be indoors without a mask? What is a real question on the news. This bitch asked him, how long do you think it will take until it's safe for vaccinated people to be indoors without a mask?

Safe, safe was the word. How long until it's safe begging the question, does not, that's what exactly is safe to you. Fauci's answer, it's tough to predict that. It's always tough to predict. When it will be safe to be inside, it's always been safe to be inside. Always the vaccinated people.

It's always been the whole thing, unvaccinated vaccine, it's always been safe. It's always, that's, Oh, I see what you're mean. Yeah. It was safe. It's safe as opposed to standing on the freeway with a group of people wearing now, driving around drunk, unsafe. Yeah,

now wearing a seatbelt. It's less safe. Yeah, slightly dangerous. Climbing Mount Everest, unsafe. Going inside without a fucking mask on has always been safe. Oh, God. It's always tough to predict that. Bitch, that's blah, blah, blah, blah, let's lower the temperature a little bit. It's saved, saved, just saying, take some precautions, put wash your hands, put your mask on. It's always tough to predict.

What safe is. Fuck you talking about. Define safe. Yeah, what do you mean safe? The definition of is, you're inside, yeah, you're inside without a mask right now, you're fucking moron. Ha.

School shooting suspect. Hmm. We got a new boogie on the loose. Really? Yeah. Do you see that Facebook whistleblower? No. You didn't see that?

Ah, brave woman came forward and said, if Facebook's bad for you. Oh, yeah. Whistleblower. Well, I've heard this story, but... Whistleblowing, Sean. That's whistleblowing. instead of Facebook's bad for you. Oh yeah. Whistleblower. Well, I've heard this story before. Whistleblowing, Sean. That's whistle blowing.

I guess. Who defines that whistle blowing? This CDC, I don't know. It was all over for a couple of days. Whistleblower came on. Facebook actually is fucked. Oh, you mean because of like behind the scene shit, like what the, I mean, not really,

but everybody knows that stuff. It's bad and it's bad, everybody knows that stuff, bad. And it's bad for white supremacy. Like, this was a whole whistle blower. Like whistle blowing for like, you're dumping hundreds of tons of hexavailant chromium into the water tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's illegal shit.

Right. Not Facebook is fucked. Yeah, everybody's been paying attention for the last 10 years knows that. It's so fucking transparent because then Zuckerberg, Zuckerberg, comes in and says well you know you Congress you gotta you gotta tell me you gotta say when teenagers can get online and if they should have no privacy I mean we're just boating the law but if you guys went ahead and said teenagers can't get online and that no one has any rights of privacy then maybe we can fix some of this stuff like are you guys who is who is buying this shit?

Retarded people? Yeah. Oh, whistleblower. Oh shit, whistleblower was out. Can you believe that? Fucking whistleblower came out. Oh, blowing whistles. Yeah.

Blowing whistles about Facebook is fucked. That's talking about that. That's worse than a leaf blower. That's worse than, oh, whistle's out there. So who's gonna, somebody better ban that. Hey, Spana Caratage month, cancelling leafflowers. Yeah. Well, I don't take cancel tortillas next.

Bread can't be thinner than a half inch. Right. Right. It's Texas toast or nothing. Yeah. Whatever, Mata, you can't make bread thinner than Mata. Right, you cannot go to legal. Right, you better, you better lay off the fucking appens

to be MOTSA, huh? Okay. All I'm saying is that if you're a kid, you got to get a 3D printer for Christmas because soon your parents might put you in a self-defense situation by taking away your internet. And then you have to be ready to stand your ground at home and make an example out of one of these parents. And you might as well 3D print a lock picking set so you can get out of your room so you can get more than below me. Yeah, you need a 3D printer

so you can protect yourself and print a 3D gun or a lock pick as you're saying or a sandwich in case your parents put you in a self-defense situation. Sure. Right? Right. They locked you up for COVID. Locked in little kids. That kid's got to be in there. They're Nendes brothers.

Exactly. Right. Self-defense situation. Look, remember these words, 3D printer, Menendez. Right. Self-defense situation. Here's a school shooting that happened. Hmm. It's hilarious. Oh Jesus.

You think school shooting, like, whatever, school stressful, kids are annoying. I mean, if I had to be at school all day with a bunch of kids, I'm not saying I wouldn't do anything, but I would enter my mind. You would get it. Like people go like, I understand. Right.

So it's just because he's a kid, doesn't mean kids still aren't annoying. It was like Chris what go like, I understand. Right. So it's just because he's a kid, doesn't mean his kids still aren't in my life. It's like Chris Rock talking about Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman getting killed by Oj. It's like, I'm not saying, I understand. Yeah, I understand. It's not enough understanding going around and yeah, all the shit you bought.

Mm-hmm, I understand. Fucking a waiter, like come on, another NFL guy, another athlete, not a fucking, not an actor, right in my face, all over town. I understandable. Like another podcast guy, you know? Not a, what's the worst in a podcast? Probably nothing.

No, I think that's it. Yeah, well, all right, that's it. There's nowhere to go but up. Family, family of suspected techs shooter says that the teen was bullied for fancy clothes in a $35,000 car. Oh, one of those, uh, shot a teacher. Afluenza cases. No, no. He just had a silver silver charger and the family, let me look up so you can see. Yeah, I guess a charger, you know, even just like regular cars. I mean, not that's not a regular car, but it's not like an exotic car. It's not a charger. That's an import. I guess they're, yeah, I guess they would be like 30 something now,

huh? Yeah. Family of suspected Texas school shooter was bullied for fancy clothes and 35,000 dollar car. I guess I bring this in because it's it's it's like the people The people have been programmed to run through Words that mean nothing. Yeah, that we're reaching a point where an eventuality of not having to think about anything because you have a set of, you remember Miss Teen Universe gave that absolutely gibberish answer to like what's facing the world. I do remember that. I do remember that.

I do remember that. I do remember that. I do remember that. I do remember that. I do remember that. And we're getting there with the, let's see what it is. Financially blessed, accused of opening fire has been bullied over his financially blessed family, fancy clothes, and $35,000 car.

He bought a handgun for protection, shot a teacher, his FY, remind a couple of the kids. His family said they were glad he didn't decide to commit suicide over the bullying. So that's the response. Your son was shot of a school up and a teacher and the family goes, well, thank God he didn't kill himself. Awesome. Right? So awesome.

Are you aware that your son fucking shot a teacher and a bunch of kids? I mean, we're thrilled that he didn't decide to do something rash. Yeah, suicide is, that's a permanent fix to a temporary problem. We just, we just thank God every day, right, that he didn't decide to turn the gun on himself. Well, he shot a bunch of people. What is this? You know, he was having all kinds of bullying issues. They have a picture of this kid. I was curious to see with that. Right there. What a treat. There he is. He looks pretty rich, doesn't he? He's black kid with dreadlocks. Yeah. Fancy ones. Yeah. A woman who identified as the mother claimed that he was bullied, but they look so young.

It looks really young. I think he is. I think he's 18. Yeah. Yeah, he's 18. I guess kids just like fucking young now to me. They do. It looks like he's like 14.

Yeah. Actually, that's not that bad. Yeah. Actually, what's happening now? But yeah. He was able to get things. We have to take a look at the fact that bullying is real. It's said, somebody said, and it takes us all, and I do apologize. We as a family ask for forgiveness for any type of hurt. Any type of hurt. Any type of hurt. Any type of hurt.

Yeah, right. May have been caused by it. Any sense of common actions that were taken by people who are related to the family. That's the speech. No, I'm curious. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Shot up a school.

Well, there's all kinds of bullying there. Actually, it's like Boogie. Frank Castle shows up at his door, and he's like, I had to shoot him, he was bullying me, and I was gonna kill myself. My dad raped me. You guys gotta understand. It was locusts.

We need more safe spaces for school shooters. His dad is Carl Winslow though. Oh yeah, he is. So very somber. It looks like him. Two of them are wearing masks. At the press. Right.

Whatever. Outside with 20 feet away from the camera. Not trying to justify the gun that was brought. The gun that was brought. That sounds like the Japanese. The vase is broken. Yeah, not. Look, you broke the vase.

I'm not trying to say. Right. It's just so you can't form a fucking sentence properly. Well, because it has to be, yeah, every, it's tiptoeing language. Uh, yeah, the passive voice is a, is a plague. Yeah. I'm not trying to justify the gun that, the gun that was brought, bitch. But when you're being bullied, when there's bullets, the gun that was brought, like it also,

that my kid brought a gun to school. The gun that was brought by some people, individuals. I don't know how it got there. It's amazing. The gun turned up when there's bullies throughout this nation, like Trump. You hear of young people committing suicide. Mm hmm. Well, thank God he, people committing suicide. Mm hmm.

Well, thank God he, thank God he powered through it. Jesus. Where is another one wrote on, on one of his relatives wrote on Facebook. At the end of the day, my little, my little cousin was bullied. I don't know how to feel about this, but he not no bad kid.

This is someone who's anti-bullying is saying he not no bad kid. They're probably getting bullied. He not no bad kid. I mean, these people should be bullied out of existence. It should be bullied, literally. I mean, at least, it's just causing harm, at least bullied into English class. Yes, at least bullied into running that through Grammarly until the red lines stop showing

until it shits at the outside just like don't close it. He can't tell what the fuck you saying. It's just so cute. It's so cute for educated white people, for black people to speak poorly. It's like their version of a menstrual show. Like they just, they think it's fucking adorable. Very educated white people like, oh yeah, it's just so, it's just great that we can encourage. This is like, no, you just, this shit, it's gotta stop.

It's fucked, it's fucked, it's fucked in the sound, it's fucked in the head. He was getting things that other, yeah. We're not trying to justify something. Two Pock and Biggie remember having them having a bullying altercation. Crips in the blood. Right.

And like somebody, you know, a gun was brought. The gun was brought to each situation. Yeah, the situations where such gun was brought. The gun was brought to each situation. Yeah, I mean, a situation where such bullying was taken. The crypts were very bullying. Plus, but did some bullying of their own. This was one of his, my little cousin was bullied. I don't know to feel about this. He know, he not no bad kid.

You're not no bad kid, Dick. Prayers for Tim and the innocent bystanders. The people he shot. Yeah. Right. So was he trying to shoot a kid or shoot a teacher? I don't know. Who cares?

It was angry. Let's see here. Oh, electrodes in your brain. Do you hear about that one? They'll be rolling. Is this funny? We talked about Harrison Burjeron in the last episode. And then this week, they said they cured depression

by zapping a woman's thoughts. Zapping a woman when she had certain thoughts. Oh, yeah. Or the ones I put in. They're using it to just kind of reset your brain. They're doing a lot of stuff, and I hope it, they seem to be having some success with things like ketamine, microdosing.

Don't you, ketamine? Yeah, well, it's not fun. Like, microdosing things, like it's, you know, microdosing. Hell, it'd be if the acid. Magnetic, what do they call it? Slot bracelets. I can't take it. I can take it.

I can take it. No, but it's magnets. It's magnetic, something to do. It will green ghouls. No, I can't remember what you call it. What? What does it do? I can feel the kind of resets your brain chemistry or whatnot.

It's having some success with that. Hell, it'd be great. I'd be the first one to be... You sign up for the brain's app, right? Oh, well, I mean,, it's having some success with that. I mean, hell, it'd be great. I'd be the first one to be, you sign up for the brains, April? Oh, well, I mean, if it's, you know, if it's in use and they're having success and stuff, I mean, I would love to know and they did it. I would love to not take SSRIs and things.

I mean, I would, I hope that they moved toward, you know, something better. Brow, this woman's so so fat her brow has got a chin Yeah, this is the depressed one is severe depression disappear the process involves brain implants that interrupt Tracell thoughts. Yeah, the eating I think brain implants are like this. I don't like this. I don't like brains apathy going on Yeah, I want to live it. Some of that stuff, some of that stuff, it only lasts a certain, like people revert after, you know, six months or whatever.

That's a thing to have. Nothing seems to be, you know, permanent. I don't like the idea of thoughts being fucked around with, to cure, something that's so prevalent that everyone has, because I already don't want to get fucking vaccinated. I don't want a zapping thing in my head. How does it, what does it just, how does it do that? I mean, just periodically, yeah, it makes you think that something shoved up your ass. Oh, damn it. It puts that memory in your head.

I want to read about this. That's bizarre. You do, you would try this? No, no, no, no, no, no, I want to read about this. This specifically in plan through device in a woman's a fat woman's brain that senses when she's having depressive thoughts or impulses and interrupts them with a burst of electrical. This is like beating off. That senses when she's having depressive because it doesn't figure out which part of the brain is lighting. When she starts looking, she has to carry a cupcake around

and when she looks at it, it's app, and it's app through brains and she stops thinking about, like no bark collar. She's been nearly symptom free. Free, oh yeah, wow. Amazing science on this one. Location of blah, blah, blah.

What else do I got here? Oh, did you see Sarah Silverman said that Jew face is a problem? You remember last week too, I said how Jews were so overrepresented in like films and movies? They're sure they're in a straight way. They were like, yeah, of course. I mean, but they're like 70%,

but they're saying black people are underrepresented and they're perfectly represented according to the population. Yeah. Yeah. Mexicans are severely underrepresented. Yeah. White people are severely represented if you consider them a different race than Jews. If you mean Jews or wasps, I guess, like a, yeah, yeah, or whatever.

Cause I always thought, just like Jews, it's anti-Semitic, it's like, Semitic, they're Middle Eastern, right? Like they're from the fucking Middle East, the Bible. Jesus wasn't white, I know that. That's the Semitic, that refers to language though. Like that's, you know what I mean? Like they spoke Semitic languages. Like why people don't come out of the Middle East though?

That was I, I genuinely thought this. So then, and then we argued about it, and then Sarah Silverman came out saying that Jew face is a big deal. Who's doing Jew face? Any white person playing a Jewish role, she says. So where's the, what the fuck? So she agrees with me. When does that happen? I don't know. Jew face is a problem in that representation. Absolutely matters, she says. I didn't see a lot of people going, oh, that's totally wrong. Sarah, Sarah, you don't wanna look at this.

You're saying because they are such a huge percentage of like film roles, just entertainment, the film industry in general. Yeah. What, you know, what, what you're having a good thing. well, how many Catholics are playing, like Chris, Chris Pratt isn't playing the fiddler on the roof, right? Like, yeah, that's not happening.

Uh, I can't, I can't see, I can't find what the casting problem was. I tell her not to use chew face. The cheese, I know it seems like she agrees with me though. Seems like she fucking agrees with what I'm saying. They're not the same race. Okay. I mean, ethnicity, I mean, oh boy.

I don't know about that one. She ain't it. Oh, because, okay, less gross men, right, Tom Kerr, that's, oh, that's chew face. I guess. I think that was intended to be chew face. Yeah that's, oh, that's jufease. I guess. I think that was intended to be jufease. Yeah, well, I think that was intended maliciously as it racist joke, actually.

And that was based, well, that was on blackface in the fucking movie. That was based on Ben Stiller's partner in his production company. Sure. Like he's a fucking nut jaw. Nicaricate addressed up like Drexel. Sure. It's, that's what happened. I don't know how that looks. like he's a fucking nut jaw. Nicaricate addressed up like Drexel. Sure. That's what happened. I don't know how that looks. Okay.

Janie Yewlin defends the $600. You know, they're coming after your deposits that are over 600 bucks. IRS, did you know about that one? Anything in the bank over $600 and he transfers that's gonna get reported to the IRS. It's going to. So the IRS can go after rich people to the IRS. I thought it was going to be something of low budget terrorism.

That too. It's so all the white supremacist and rich people can stop their tax dodging. So we need anything over a penny reported entirely to the IRS. Yaelin, awesome. Yaelin defended it. Here's, here's what I have on her. Yaelin, she gets paid. I thought this was interesting.

The annual salary for the Federal Reserve Chairman is $200,000, right? But you got $7 million in speaking fees in a year. Yeah. From banks. Yeah. So banks, every single bank, they make most of their money and just appearance in speaking fees. Yeah, and it's like, you can't just give them cash, just appearance and speaking for you. Yeah, and it's like, you can't just give them cash, right? To do, you just pay them, you pay equal to what the government pays them, to show up and dick around.

Like no one's speech could be worth. What does a bank need, you're willing to talk about? Nothing, nothing. Just give her the money, you see, bribe, that's a legal payment. I get. So who's employee use this?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. What time is it? Oh my god, it's one already. Let's read some comments. Okay.

Do voicemails. Robots. Oh, here's one. Twitch. Twitch got hacked. You know what I mean? Do you see that? I did not. They leaked all the money that people made. Oh, here's one. Twitch. Twitch got hacked. You know what I mean? Do you see that?

I did not. They leaked all the money that people made last, yeah, in the last two years. Guess who's on that? Twitch, who made a shit ton of money on Twitch? Everybody. They released everybody's figures. Somebody hacked it.

You have people who are like surprising or famous who made a fucking... Well, we have Maddox on there. Oh, so we found out how much money he made for banana docks and ox mad over the last two years over the last two years. Yeah, over the last years. And it's an interesting number. Did it make four figures? Uh, yes. It did more, more, more. It's an interesting number because really, some people laugh at it, two years, two years, three nights a week, two, three hours a night. A lot of people laugh at it.

I guess he does do it a lot. He does it a lot. A lot of people laugh at it, but he made five figures. Yeah, just barely. 11,600 dollars. Wow, I mean, that's two years. I don't know where else his income is coming from. No one does. So I mean, $91.94. That's two years. I can't, I don't know where else his income is coming from. No one does.

So I mean, what is he doing? That might be the only, that's his walking around cash. That's his, that's his, that's his, you know, eat a bunch of licorice cash or whatever you just candy budget. It's candy budget. $11,691.94. I thought that was tragically low. Shots candy budget. It's candy budget. 11,691 dollars and 94 cents. I thought that was tragically low.

Yeah. But some people were guessing like, hundreds of dollars. Yeah. No, it's gotta be more than. No, because he does. Yeah, he does have viewers. Yeah, good for him.

I hope he never stops. How could you walk away from, that's always his thing, right? Don't put ads on the website because then you get addicted to the money. Yeah. So now he's got a money flow. Right. He's probably stopped.

He can't. Well, he's addicted to it now. He took the money now. He got to have a stop. So it's already too late. Yeah. He's got, he's hooked. Okay.

He's hooked. Oh, yeah. Robots. Oregon transplant recipients have to be vaccinated. Oh, God. What a hellscape we live in. People can't get organs because they're not COVID vaccinated. I'm getting tired of everything.

Okay. Here's a comment. It's many muskets. Says I cut a promo for your internet WrestleMania Royal Rumble event. All right, let's check it out, many muskets. Here we go. Ooh, yeah. I hear you wanna have yourself a little

internet rumble mania. Well, let me tell you something. The man he made yet is on his way. The man he racquets. Ethan Ralph, Joshua, Carnoboo. They all just damsels on the train tracks. Ready to get world over by the Maddie local motion machines. Oh yeah, and let me tell you something.

Sawn and Jadirideson, good job Masterson. I'm coming for you. What do you think? It sounded like he was having trouble breathing in some places. Okay, well, that's the not bad. It's the WrestleMania event that I wanted to. Well, let me put it this way. I, I, I listened.

He got me to listen. Yeah, he got me to listen. Yeah, he got me to listen. I wanna see what he, you know, it was interesting enough. Yeah. Damsals on train tracks, getting ready to be, sound like Macho Man or Andy Savage, but he's coming to the Mamiac, not ready Macho Man's Savage.

Right, it was, yeah, you know, he's like a third cousin. Third cousin twice removed or something. Is it not funny that a white man changes genders and then cancels a black guy? It's just so funny. You know, I'm communicating that properly. You can see grandpa coming in taking office fedora putting on a wig like this being cross me has got to go.

It's a this is a Frank Sinatra house only, because the, you know, Jamie Davis is transphobic. Yeah. Oh, he can't. Great. It's grandma. It's grandma in front of a bitch.

Oh, yeah. Okay. All right, you win. Yeah, but then so you better watch out. You better watch your ass. It's like, you know, you know, Dick trans. Oh yeah, I'll see your black guy with a trans man. Ah, same thing, actually my black guy was Jewish.

Yeah. You can't make this stuff up. All the old guys, like, fuck, I didn't know he could just be a woman and get all this fucking color to shit off the dammit. Gotta think outside the box, Dick. I had the box old man. You fucking boomers.

Yeah. You didn't know how easy this was. Me and my gals are running in here. Big dick swinging. Big dick swinging energy. Get this fucking shit off TV. Me and the gals. Me and the gals are gonna put these.

There's another ends back in line. There's another trans. Fucking brots. Trans woman nuts around I started to go like Concealing comment. Yeah, yeah, if tanning that's he's gonna throw on a wig bif tanning, right? Yeah, I'm not saying I want a Cancel She'll pal but I want to be in the room to make sure this never happens again

Why don't you make like a woman and pop a boner? Hahaha. Sorry. Sorry, right? Just say, look at that. Full when you say it wrong. Yeah. God.

That was a good. There's another, I saw a video, it must have happened recently of another trans woman MMA fighter just beating the ever living shit. She blocks me on Twitter. Oh, dude, that was my favorite hand. But dude, like the explosiveness of the punches and just so ugly. Like it just got worse and worse. Like it was like, you can just see just how much like faster twitch muscles just like the power behind it. It was like,

no, it was like not, you're just like, God, this is, this is very, very unfair. Wow, this woman is a real, real champ. She's just outclassing Atlanta feral on Twitter. Dude, this is my favorite account. She post pictures of her, like wearing like a cat ears and shit. And she's way smaller than the woman she fought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she, you know, she was a, she was a Marine, I think. Some kind of like, really? Some kind of not just,

I just watched it and I was like, you can't fucking, you can't do this. It's not great. Do it everywhere else. Don't fuck up sports. I reversed my position. Really? Because you're not fucking up sports.

They're just fucking up women's sports. And women's sports don't deserve to exist. They're just like men did a sports and women are like, we want to play too. Well, I guess we're going to fucking hell. You know, the only reason why the WNBA exists or like subcalded is. Oh, yeah. Of course. Only women's volleyball and women's softball are profitable, I think.

Oh, yeah. I think softball. Yeah, I think that's right. But all other women's sports are. Yeah, our subcalded to, they're unholy. They're subsidized, they're not capitalism, it's communism. Sure.

So I think the, I'm pro trans athletes in women's sport, well in both sports, if I'm being honest. Yeah. Because the spices, the spices them up. Let's get them all in there. This is, here's an example of some of the stuff she says. I wish she was my favorite fucking Twitter account.

I don't know why she blocked me. I think she finally got that I was being, I think she took something I said that was genuine and thought it was sarcastic. Well, it's hard to tell in print, right? Yeah, it is hard to tell. I should have put like a sarcasm thing, or maybe just not done it.

I'm trying to find the thing she said. It was like I'm getting a lot of stairs today, and I don't know why. There's something like that. Just after the fight or. No, no, no, no, no, yeah, here it is. Okay, getting a lot of, getting a lot of looks,

getting a lot of hard looks today. This is the trans MMA. She's got short pink hair, lip ring. Looks like a real tough broad, real badlacks, right? A real real bruiser of a woman, MMA champion. She says getting Atlanta McLaughlin, getting a lot of hard looks today. Can't tell if people recognize me or are just thrown off by skirts and pink hair with combat boots and knuckle tattoos. It's one or the other. Yeah, very far. No, yeah. They

they recognize her fame as a non UFC, uh, MMA, traw, woman MMA fighter. I don't need to say trans because it's the same thing. Uh, or they're just not, or they're just not a custom to fashion choices of pink hair, uh, combat boots and knuckle tattoos. Yeah. Well, remember in this society, it's one or the other. There's not, you know, people just can't handle strong form. There's no strong form in the fifth or, you know, after I said, people just can't handle a strong woman. Is that what you were saying for that?

Really? Yeah. I believe that. Probably checked you out. Like Sigourney Weaver probably goes through the same thing. She's like, God, do people recognize me? Or it's just like I'm a strong woman. They're not giving me.

Look, they're calling me the Eft slur. Yeah, a lot of women go, a lot of women. Sigourney Weaver gets caught by Eft slur. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that I just let. It's not fuck you money anymore. It's Eft slur money. I want to have so much money. I walk around.

Yeah? Yeah. Fuck you money's nice. Yeah F-Sler money. I wanna have so much money. I walk around. Yeah? Yeah. Fuck you money's nice. Yeah. F-Sler money? Oh baby, that's the way it, that's a you walk into work. Hey, you're late for work. Oh yeah?

Well you're up, right? Yeah, it's like, it's sunny Corleone breaks the camera and the godfather and then just starts peeling off bills. Yeah. It pushes the guy down and just starts peeling off bills. Like yeah, this ought to cover it. That's fuck you money. Yeah.

Eftsler money is you walk out, hey, you want to stop taking pictures? You fucking, right? Yeah. They're like, whoa. Yeah. Wow. That's way worse.

And I got it on camera. I don't care. Here. That's how much money I have. Eftsler money. Uncancellable. Carl says, what the fuck to do? It's one thing, if it were just me, what the fuck to do? It's one thing, if it were just me,

what the fuck to do about all this bullshit? If one thing if it were just me and I could pick up and go, but dude, what do I do living in California with three kids relying on me to protect them? I guess all of this COVID bullshit. I don't fucking know. I couldn't imagine making a kid wear a mask. Yeah.

I really could, my life coach came back into the country recently and they were, where was he? He was in Germany. Well, like, on vacation? Yeah. He's got, most of his family lives in Germany. His mom was from Germany. Yeah, I know.

And he just got to go back and have like a, it's like a whole, it's like half the country. It's just fucking family. So everywhere he goes, it's pros, pros. They're in metal shops, haven't working with like hundreds of year olds. I can't have a leaf blower. My ancestors can't give me their leaf blower because they're legal,

but he's got metal working shit all over Germany. They COVID tested, no swobbed his two year old or three year old. Oh yeah, he's young too. About that shit. Making a kid wear a mask. Why are we wearing this mask? I don a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. Fox, Fox. You're sending your kids to school and the teachers won't get near them, even though they're vaccinated. I go, I can't, I just don't want to risk it. I can't risk it around. Yeah. Kids, because the news is telling them that they're just care, their disease carriers. Get the fuck out of here.

It's so, it's too much. It's too much. I agree, it's too much. Maybe the teachers are bullying your kids, bring a fucking clock into schools. Fucking teach too much. I agree. It's, it's too much. Maybe the teachers are bullying in case bring a fucking clock into schools. Fucking teach it. Bullying my fucking dads. Yeah, three year old with a fucking piece. Yeah. They'll just send him a juby for a couple weeks. Just like walks in just with it pulls it out of his diaper from the back. Bam. Well, Kyle Rittenhouse in jail. Yeah, self defense, right? White, black kids shoots up a school over his charger, over his 35, over his luxury $35,000.

I resent that too. Yeah. He's being bullied for his expensive car, $35,000 car. You telling me there's a car cheaper than that? Yeah. Okay. I don't know if he's a fucking golf cart. If he's a box, what if he's in like a poverty stricken area?

Then it's like $400,000 a house, it might as well be $400 million? Yeah, in a poverty-stricken area, that's where I think they would drive charges and mustangs. Well, I know what you mean, because it's like all about, that's the flash where you can get it, right? I mean, the, my point is, take your three-year-old,

just put you polish on his face. No one will block. is take you three year old, put you polish on his face. No, I'm not. Local boy was bullied by his teachers, right? Call the disease carrier. Kid, a little dread wig. No, a gun was brought. A gun was brought to school, right by standards were had an altercation with some bullets. Yeah, right. Bullets appeared.

Bullets appeared at a high, at a high rate of speed, not safe for work rage. Women aboard a resource vacuum, skinny mat. Dude Dick and Sean, you know it makes me rage that women simply cannot stand a surplus of resources. Oh, whatever that may be. We're getting you into some deep psychological stuff here. Sociological stuff.

They're not asking for much. They don't want to put you out or anything, just whenever you can spare just enough that it'd be unreasonable of you to get annoyed over such a small amount of extra time, space, money, or whatever they can take. Oh, I get what you're saying. For example, my wife overfilled the freezer,

so I bought a new one. one. I was only using half of it, so it would be cruel and unusual for me to say that she can't use the spare space. It was just sitting there completely unused, wasting power. No, that's not true. You don't waste power in the freezer. The freezer is now overflowing with food that no one is ever going to eat. If I never got the new freezer, she would never have needed the space. It's perpetual.

Use what you have. Women, they, I know they abore, they abore a resource vacuum. They will maximize whatever they have available and still maintain the same level of dissatisfaction. So you could have 23 hours in order to do that. Yeah, you could have 23 hours a day, three, and she will need all of it and be just as dissatisfied as if you had a half hour to spare between jobs to donate to her.

Same level of dissatisfaction. You could spend whatever, they say three months salary on a wedding ring, which is retarded, that it's the only, a wedding ring is the only flat tax that exists. It's a perfect tax, not progressive, right? Not progressive, rich, it was, well, rich, if you're rich, poor, whatever,

three months of your life needs to go to a worthless piece of jewelry for your wife and no matter what, and then because they know the diamond people know that they will be equally dissatisfied with whatever it is as long as it is exactly that amount of time that has been wasted. Yeah, you're right. It's the perfect flat tax. Yeah, devised by women, the most cruel, the most, the cruel, the most efficient waste of your resources,

just like this guy, for whatever the size of the fridge, they'll fill it up with food. Whatever the size of a woman's mouth, she'll fill it up with food. Yeah. If you have time to listen, however much time you have to listen is how much complaining she has to do. It's not she has complaints and you can listen

until they're exhausted and then she'll be satisfied. It is whatever time you have will be filled with complaining and you will still be dissatisfied. If you got time to lean. Oh, if only I had time to lean. That's what you say. That's what. Good email. What do you think about that, Dick? Well, that's what I think about it. Yeah. Cheers, skinny man. The Casanova strategy. Hey, Dick, if you read this on the air, please call me Tim. Okay. I wanted to share a method of talking to chicks

and clubs that I discovered. Oh, wow. Which has helped me get over social anxiety, get several dates, and finally break a month's long dry spell. Oh, months dry penis. Oh boy. I call this the Casanova strategy. It's done like this.

Find a girl in a club you wanna talk to. Walk up to her, pretend you're an actor in a tele novella, and say, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Suppose you should probably speak Spanish. Spanish. Do you have to do with an accent? You do most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Maybe.

Just do your best bandarra. Oh, you have a leaf blower was brought. So annoyed. Yeah. A dry spell was lost. Can you imagine they're not gonna do that? The Mexicans aren't gonna retrofit their leaf blowers with electric leaf blowers.

I don't think so. No way. No. And then they show up and their batteries not charged or some shit. Oh well. Plus a lot of them are like family heirlooms. They are.

Pass it down from father to son and that's it. A Mexican family heirlooms only go down one generation. Is that right? They all get trashed. Yeah. I don't know. He's throwing away a bunch of your dad's shit. Oh, yeah.

No, I really want his chest of turquoise bull otis. I can't wait to get the- I can't wait to get the, I can't wait to get a bunch of forks he made into jewelry with, guys a lot of turquoise. Does he really? Yeah, he smuggled it. Really?

Yeah, he straight up smuggled turquoise into the country. That's right. He had a turquoise mind. I got expropriated or they got taken by the government. Wow. Communists have been fucking over my family for generations. It was real, it's real fucking annoying.

And I suppose that happened as the mine. Where was the mine? Venezuela, I think. Yeah. Cause I know he, I should get a lot of time in it. He spent a lot of time in Venezuela, didn't he? Yeah, he did. His dad was a damn builder.

Yeah. Didn't he, they went around a lot. You got raised in the rainforest. Didn't he, they went around a lot. You got raised in the rainforest. Didn't he have a Cayman speaking of crazy pets like that up? Yeah. Yeah. He had like alligator.

He only had that one for very long because his mom got pissed. Yeah. And kicked the shit out of him. Oh. Yeah. It was like, oh yeah, pretend you're an actor in a telenovela and say,

you are the most beautiful man I've ever seen. And to this, add to this something like, you remind me of the moon and the stars. Or something equally cheesy and over the top. And also other things that appear in this guy, sometimes a jet plane. With a vapor trail. You remind me. Occasionally, a hot air balloon. But with big lashes, titties, if I'm in the sacca, sometimes a... Big minkies.

Ailey and balloon that got away from a child. You remind me of the declassified UFO videos that the Air Force people watch and they're black and white and they move very quickly The way you're quickly taken my heart the way your eyes sparkle and eventually give me a rectal probe Like that is that how you like that. That's how I would do it To remind me of the pollution above the city. It's pink and right green Makes me sick. At this point, at this point, she'll usually thank you and initiate conversation. No, false.

Uh, I assume you're attractive. Or thank you and leave. Or thank you and leave. Okay. That's true. He's right though. Yeah. I have seen total knobs just shamelessly compliment a woman like oh you're one of those beautiful girls that everyone's hears about in and then say the name of the town. You're like oh yeah thank you. Yeah. You're just cringing inside. Yeah. Watching it. Yeah. It, it's like, man, really, you can do that.

You can do that. Laura Men with a compliment and then hit him with the accent. Yeah, hit him with the accent. Hit him with the accent. Wait, if she continues talking to you, we're asked for her number. Okay. If and when the conversation fizzles.

Would I get your digits? This is like one of those blackjack cards, you know, that they give you, you can play with them Vegas, that just tells you when to hit and when to stay. Oh, I see, it's all the odds. Basic strategy. Basically, because the odds are in their favor always,

you can sit at the table and go, yeah, here's a split A. It'll tell you to get insurance. This is like what you guys need as a card for when they go out. Just say this, if she says this, say, like hit on this, say this, insult her here, ask for her number here. If her numbers are only six, writing like the number, writing the sex technique on the hand.

Yeah. Look at another, if when the conversation fizzles, look at another woman. Walk up to her and say, you're the, oh, do the same thing. Okay. The key with this strategy is to use compliments that are unique and obviously over the top because women crave that attention

and rarely get it from men. That's probably true. How often is a woman heard something completely retarded? Like that retarded. You remind me of the moon and the stars. Give it a shot. Yeah, if okay.

I think you're going to eat dry spell. Give it a shot. Let me know how it works out. Be good for a story if nothing else. Yeah, say you remind me of the moon and the stars. Let me know how it works out. Go fuck yourself. You're at the same time.

At the same time. Both at the same time. Uh, Go fuck yourself. At the same time. At the same time. But with at the same time. Go fuck yourself. Tim. Okay, digger, Nick, the nerdy digger. Oh boy. Oh boy, they managed to slap a dendom to that one. Yeah.

Hey, Dick, hey, Sean, I'm writing for a few reasons this time. I'm not gonna follow up with the distant relatives. Oh, this is a guy that wanted to fuck his cousin. Mm. Was admittedly drunk when I sent that. Okay, so next time you drunk, go try to fuck one of them. And use an accent and you'll remind me of the moon. An zestuous moon.

Right, stars. You see, it's okay for the moon to fuck this stars. And I try to become a Patreon, but it wouldn't accept my card. I'm a laborer and make decent wage, so there's no reason it should decline. It's not how credit cards work. Also, you should probably call your credit card company

or your bank if it's a debit card. I, the bank still really, I mean, I'm not on good terms with the bank. I don't know if you've heard that, but I don't think I can pull these strings for you at the bank. Do I also expect it to say so,, but I don't think I can pull any strings for you at the bank. Do I expect it to say so like, do you have any idea why it might be declined? I do get that.

Do you have my Patreon? I didn't work. What should I do? I can know. Yeah. Well, the figures, I mean, it's, it's working for thousands of people. Yeah. I don't know if that's, I would guess that that's some sort of fraud protection where they think like this is not something that you would do. You never had a decline card before. I don't know.

Yeah. Uh, that always cracked me up how I can go to like, I can go to other countries, other states, whatever. I'm sure. Dude, never once, but I can go to like a fucking store and buy clothes and it'll be like, yeah, I got it. You mean I got to get on a fucking phone with you? Bitcoin solves that, Sean. Yeah. Bitcoin solves it. You mean I got to get on the fucking phone with you?

Bitcoin solves that Sean. Yeah Bitcoin solves that. Yeah Drake and new bus something about I don't know nurses Well, it's a giant email. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, Dicken John now don't read my name on the show. Vital statistics and death certificates. Oh, God. I'm a funeral director, and deal with death certificates on a daily basis. And I have some anecdotal experience that you two might find interesting.

Firstly, death certificates are a shit show. The way cause of death is listed is more often than not a total joke. Okay. I've dealt with one doctor in particular that runs a small practice and throughout the years has put cardiac infarction, that's the heart attack, heart attack, on every death certificate, no matter what. Well, that's bizarre because that's a single event.

That's, you're fine, you're fine, you're dead. No matter what for years. I mean, is that really surprising? Honestly, without dumb and annoying everyone is all the time that someone would fucking just do this. I mean, that in particular is a little surprising. In COVID. It's a small town. You got to remember,, basically the UPS,

basically UPS is the standard of work that everyone around the world does. Well, here's all, every time you see it, we do know that everybody in every profession, there's a good percentage that are lazy. Exactly the same percentage. Every profession, because laziness is not tied to intelligence. So everybody fails up until they are incapable of their level. You know that book was written as like

satire, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone fails. I mean, it's still, they don't all do that, but still, it exists where people accept they achieve up until the level that they can no longer achieve, which means the one they're at, they're not good at. Yeah, I don't, I don't know about that. I mean, it gets again, that book was that time, but people start like, they turn it around and they go, ah, because you can be really good at your job and be too lazy to fucking. Yes, to go up. The laziness, however, is not tied to the intelligence part.

No, it's not. So pilot, doctor, trash man, whatever, it's random laziness of them. There's going to be a lazy percentage in all of them. I've had pilots that just nodded off when they had to land. Did you see the pilots go on strike? No. Oh, Southwest had to cancel like a thousand flights.

Yeah. And they said, oh, weather, weather got all fucked up. Yeah, but it was because of the pilots didn't want to take the vaccine. Really? We're not coming into work today. They said, oh, this weather's just going crazy. Like, well, only you guys are coming to play. Are they unionized?

I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think it's hilarious that, remember that graph I brought in where the PhD people were also were unconvincible. PhD people who didn't want the vaccine were not able to be convinced. Like, people who are retarded, who people who are retarded.

Yeah, it was like a smiley graph. Yeah, people in the middle could be convinced, but PhDs and people who never even heard of school couldn't be convinced. Right. So I just think it's going to be hilarious when you get to the PhD level people like pilots for example, air traffic controllers. PhD. I mean, they're smart.

Well, sure, they're smart. They're hard to replace. Yeah. And they go, nah, air traffic controllers. PhD. I mean, they're smart. Well, sure, they're smart. They're hard to replace. Yeah. And they go, nah, not taking it. But you, okay, fine, I quit. Like, uh, we got at least fucking people to move around. Are you, don't you want to get the,

you can really gotta take the next. No. Is Southwest in particular? Yeah. Well, that hit this weekend. They're the ones who all walked up. All right. Anyway, when COVID hit, he put that as the cause of death instead every time.

How many people are in a small practice? How many people are dying? And he's seeing the, see the only funeral home in town? I don't know any of these things. He finally retired last year. We'll find out. He got 200 bucks a pop for visiting patients in a nursing home for 15 minutes at a time. Yeah, sure. He could care less about paperwork. I'm sure that's probably his patients. That's probably true.

If a patient dies in hospice, I pick them up in their homes. It's about 10 to 20% chance the coroner shows up. That percentage goes down as their age goes up. When I remove them, I'm given an incomplete death certificate, which I then fax to their doctor the next day. If I'm lucky, the doctor faxes it back later that day with a complete cause of death. This means that at the time of their death,

they're not reviewed by a medical professional. Their cause of death is determined by prior experience rather than an anatomical study. Well, right. Yeah, I mean, you're not autopsying people all the time. Just think about the people who die at home. Almost all of them know they're going to die at home. They've been diagnosed with something as opposed to,

like I'd like to say. I think you're much more die of old age at home. I think, or heart attacks. Heart attacks the most common death, right? Yeah. I don't know, but I think we're heart attacks. Heart attacks the most common death, right? Yeah. I don't know, but I think that time. I think that most people die. If you die at home, I think most people who die at home

are people who have been diagnosed with something or terminal, they know they have congestive heart failure. In other words, there's a history. No. I think most people die. Yeah, heart disease. You end up most people. Yeah history. No. I think most people die. Yeah, hard disease. You know, most people. Yeah, but you end up dying in the hospital. If you have a heart attack, you're rushed to the hospital and then you may be declared dead there.

Oh, really? Well, yeah, you don't know that. Yeah. I don't think I don't think at home. I got a fuck up my heart. My heart. My heart. I think it's usually somebody better to like 911 or whatever. You know what I mean? Like you're already dead. Then they're going to, but then they're going to know're gonna, but then they're gonna know. Yeah, but then they're gonna know like what it is. You know what I mean? Yeah. As opposed to like, as opposed to the second one.

Yeah. So you're right about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cancer. And then accidents after that. Yeah, so you know what that is. And then chronic lower, and then a stroke. I don't know, man. I don't know

if you know if you're at home, maybe you're right, though. This means that at the time because if the coroner shows up or whoever, they're coming to take a body. If it's a sudden event, if it's like a sudden event, very few people are found like after a sudden event for like that length of time. Maybe if you live alone or something like that. I'm gonna do, I wanna have a thing that I could swallow or something. So when it stops detecting a heartbeat, just like a random amount of time explodes. So no one can get around me. And figure out what killed you? Yeah, like always dead.

Oh, that's funny. Explosion. Can't go in there though. Why? Guys, booby trapped. Mm-hmm. That would be great. Um, if I'm lucky, that means, let me see here, that's what they're supposed to have

died of. But a lot can happen in six months. Oh, right here. The reason this happens is because of a doctor sends someone with terminal cancer home to die. Right. That's what they're supposed to have died of. Yeah.

But a lot can happen in six months. Also autopsies are expensive. Yeah. Between about 10k for private. Well, and some yeah. If you want to know, if there's something suspicious, if yeah, but again, it's the primary secondary, like it's not like the terminal cancer is going away in six months. It's like the primary cause of death would be like organ failure. You know what I mean? Like systemic organ failure or something. But what are they just guess? Because of cancer.

Well, no, because you're organ failure, huh? Well, I mean, you know what happens. But again, that's the main. Well, check there. That's the multiple causes. Yeah, but nobody's looking at it. They're just dead and like, well, they had cancer. They had dead cancer.

Yeah, right. Well, that's not really precise. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm still feeling some, sure that they put things on there that are like, but chances are, chances are I'm highly doubting if you know from the files, the guy has terminal cancer, you're probably not going to say a died of sepsis from a, from a rusty razor blade. You know, like I mean, my point is 80 and 80% of death certificates

are filled out by doctors who wasn't even in the same town when their patient dies. Wait, why not in the same town? Don't most people have a local doctor? Yeah, but they're not the ones filling out the death certificate. That's what he's saying. He's fax, you faxing it to somebody else.

Well, no, he's faxing it to his doctor's office. Right? I don't know. Am I not understanding this? Are we not understanding this email the same? The doctor, I fax it to their doctor the next day from lucky. The doctor faxes it back.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm confused. Once I had arrangements with a family who asked for a certificate of death, I received a complete DC from the doctor's office, but not from the GP. It claimed the person had advanced Parkinson's. Needless to say, the family was shocked. Later that day, I received a fax from the GP in that same office. Parkinson's wasn't on it. Imagine my shock. Sean was right about the tertiary COD.

I got, I'm some. I'm some got a pulmonary embolism because they had COVID. A doctor could put COVID in primary cause or they could put pulmonary embolism itself to them. Sure. What contributes to you? You have a stroke, but you die of bronchial pneumonia. Yeah, most doctor hate paperwork. I suppose you could argue that putting COVID in that certificate could happen for three main reasons.

Sorry for the long email, keep up the great show. Since you're really don't remember. I mean, honestly, I don't even care. The only reason we have to use stats at all is because I'm being told something I don't wanna do and can't see. That's it. It's, where seat belt,

because you could get into car wreck and say, I'd be like, yeah, I've seen car wrecks. I know that that's dangerous. I text all the time on driving. Very dangerous. I will wear the seatbelt. It's also illegal. I don't like that it's illegal.

I know. I know what you mean. I think you're using that as an excuse to pull black guys over and shoot them. I think that's why the seatbelt logs is this actually to get cops. Well, but I'm gonna pass more. I'm gonna appear at the scene. This is what we don't know exactly who brought it. That guy happened to be pulled over.

Right. I pulled over and had all my sirens on. Yeah. Weird coincidence. That's funny. COVID, I don't see it. I don't see it. I don't think most people see in your making me do a lot of shit.

I don't want to do. So the only recourse we have is to just say, well, what's the, Well, all the stats are bullshit then. So throw all the stats out to try to fucking throw up the screen of bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, cuz you're making me do shit. I don't want to do for something I can't fucking see. That's very it's very honest of you. I mean, well, that's what I think about this. The only recourse you have. I just don't want to. I don't want to do it. I don't want to. I don't want to do it. I think the Constitution says you can't do it. Well, you got to do it anyway. I don't want to. I don't want to. And I get I get't wanna. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna. I don't wanna do it. I think the Constitution says you can't do it.

Well, you gotta do it anyway. I don't wanna. I don't wanna, and I get that sentiment. I don't really do. I don't see it. Global war is the same thing. I don't wanna do all this stuff. And I don't see it.

I don't wanna do it. I don't fucking see the global warming. So, okay, let's get the stats out. All the pollution is being done by China, manufacturing, like all these bullshit stats, I don't wanna know and I don't care about. But we're not gonna tell them what to do. But yeah, you know, cause. You want to know and I don't care about, but we're not going to tell them what to do. But yeah, you know, cause I have to get stuck

in these arguments over like rationality, but there's no point to it, cause you're just going to make me do it anyway. Yeah. You're just scared of it. Like the fucking leaf blower is like, oh, the leaf blower is like, this is polluting and it's noisy.

And it's like, I don't want to fucking do it. I don't want to do it. So you have to show me your work or just admit that you're making me do it because you can. And then I'm fine with it, honestly, is it where I'm at? I just want you to say it.

I just want you to say it. You have to say, you have to say where clothes because we're telling you to. Why do I have to wear pants? Because we're fucking telling you to bro. That's why you have to wear pants because we all don't wanna see you dick. Why do I have to wear pants? Cause we're fucking telling you two, bro. That's why you have to wear pants. Cause we all don't wanna see you dick. Okay, I'll wear pants then.

Fine. I agree to this social contract. Fine. All right, wear a mask. I like it. Why? Well, because you've seen these, you've seen airborne particles, no, no, no I mean, I just wanted you to say it.

Just say it. All right, that's fine. My whole life, my whole fucking life is a lie. You're from the second, you can identify a woman as fat. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like every fucking day. The incompetence encroaches upon you. Like a cosmic background, because the first thing you see, the first thing you see is, why is this fucking fat bitch telling me what to do?

Every kid, every kid pops in, and second grade, and third grade, what the fuck is this fat bitch? Why can't I go home and fucking play video games? Why is this fat chick to me? What the fuck are you? Why are you telling me what to do while you have to do it? Every second then, every second from then on

until you're dead is a series of lies that you either live by or promote yourself. Because you're learning so much about dick. Let's stop for a sec. So great. I love it. I love it. Shut down the gifted programs in New York. Right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to go as horrible. This is horrible. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Go like, oh, it's horrible. This is horrible. It's a good. It's a good. Dessert. You can't make other kids feel bad. It's like the gifted programs are just a couple hours a week that smart kids do not have to sit around the monstrously dumb people and teachers that you're forced to be around every day. They're not in some like special smart kid training programs.

They're just in a room by themselves. It's because, yeah, you're not like making super soldiers of intelligence and gifted programs. You're just giving them the one thing that is fucking torture to smart kids is being around stupid people, including the fucking teacher and every fucking kid in the class that are talking about $35,000 charges. I can't believe they're ending these programs.

It's not a program. It's being exempt from this torture and prison that is existence with the fucking people. Yeah. Very easy. It's very cheap to have this program. You just let the smart kids out go sit by themselves. They're not going to start kicking each other's asses because they're not a bunch

of fucking savages like the rest of you, right? What are we going to do with the gifted program? We'll just let them outside. Right. Yeah. Let them just go do whatever they want. Right. Let them stay home from school for, I don't know, ever. Ever. Let them just be on the internet. Oh, what if something happens? Trust me, a lot of those kids have, a lot of you.

Well, they have a lot of intellectual curiosity too. Yeah, you know what my, that's always a thing. They'll probably teach themselves. The little Irishman, you know, my nephew, the older one, for remote learning, for remote school, he would have, he had his zoom class open on his computer, like they all had to. And then he had his iPad open on the other side and he was playing like programming

games. Like these games that supposedly teach you how to program, they have the same kind of logical operators in them. Right, they're all emojis. How does these games, they're all emojis. How does he do? They're all emojis. No, they're like, like binary logic. Like this or this, this and this, this X or this. But like this fucking lady's talking about critical race theory. And he's like, yeah, man, I'm so glad I could just go do my own

zone of earning things. It's not zoning out. It's like, it's like programming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually doing something that is like, didactic and self-driven. God, what am I, what was I talking about? Somebody shoot me in the face.

Somebody shoot me in the fucking face. Can I gun up here? Can I gun up here please? Can I be brought to this studio and? Can I, is there a finger, a spare brought to this studio. And... Kind of... Is there a finger, a spare finger that can squeeze the trigger? They have the gifted programs.

What are we gonna do with that? What are we gonna do with that? What is gonna happen to our gifted kids? Yeah. How are they gonna learn to not be around, you morons. Sick head life's direction. Hey, Dick, I've reached a milestone or crossroads that I come seeking the wisdom, oh wait,'ve reached a milestone or crossroads that I come

seeking the wisdom. Oh, wait, here's a, let me show you a fat phobic. You know what I need a stinger for? Fat watch. Okay, somebody get on that. Did he did he did he did this week in fat news? Was that a, was that a fucking a Morse code telegram sound? Yeah, no, it's like a radio, you know, this week in fat news, Tes Holiday, Tes Holiday, Body Slams media, for taking her photo at Disneyland through a fat phobic camera lens.

She, I added the body slam, it just said slams. You mean that one that doesn't slim? Oh no, you tell me, this was the photo she's talking about. Whoa. She looks like the Michelin man. Dude, this bitch. She looks like a Michelin man with, she looks like the Michelin man's daughter

if he was a bad dad. With all these fucking tattoos and cellul, she's got cellulite in her nose for her fingernails for fuck's sake. Dude, that's crazy. She should be sued. Disney should sue her for wearing this Donald Duck emblem that she's disparaging the Disney brand

and lessening the Disney brand. Oh my god, yeah. Look at this shit. The fishnet is bulging out of every hole. It is fat. Yeah. Ugh. There are nipples under here, Sean. No one knows where they are. is bulging out of every hole. It is fat. Yeah. Ugh.

There are nipples under here, Sean. No one knows where they are. She's wearing two sports bras. And not on her tits. The other ones on her stomach. Yeah. Can you believe this? So the fat test holiday slams media

for taking her photo at Disneyland through a fat phobic, oh, look at the photo at Disneyland through a fat phobic. Oh, look at the photo. Look at the fat. The video. There's a lot of fun. Yeah, that phobic lens lens. I know. That's what I think normal lens.

Just a lens. Yeah. There's a lens on the Hubble space telescope that bends light from thousands of light years away. That's not fat phobic. Right. Actually, it's the opposite, I guess. That would be extremely fat phobic, I think.

Right, right, right. What's the opposite? The gravitational lens of a black hole is not fat phobic. That's the only one that's not. So the light will spin around and be slimmed by the time it gets to you. Okay. Yeah. How about that? That's this week in fat news. will spin around and be slimmed by the time it gets to you. Okay. Um, yeah. How about that?

That's this week in fat news. Okay. What do you think about the face, too? It doesn't look happy. Yeah. Does not look happy. That is not with, they use that in any kind of their marketing materials. They can no longer use the happiest place on earth.

Oh, yeah. It is not the, it's not the happiest place on earth. Those, those Mickey ears that she's wearing are actually the size of trash can lids. I, I was looking for a joke there. Ha, ha, ha. Uh, and these, these blue shoes were, were black when she put them on. She stretched them out. Oh my God.

Can you believe this? Look at the, I mean, look at the acreage those tattoos cover. She had to go to two different tattoo shops. They ran out of ink. Come back. Come back next year, they said. Right, son, all the ink is on back order. All the ink is on back order.

They've got to make more. Back order. What is this, a necklace of smarties that she's got hanging out of her pocket? That's what it looks like. She's eating so much candy that some of it gets stuck in her crevice crevasses. This is stuck in her ass right here.

It looks like Donald Duck is trying like hell to get out of her shorts. Belly button. He's crammed into her folds. He's getting squished in there. Wow. Yeah. I can't do it, but. Something like that.

Slams media for taking her photo with a fat phobic lens. I think a fat phobic lens would have just blacked this out. There just be a big black circle here walking if it was truly fat phobic. Oh my God. Good ahead. I still don't know what a fat, I mean like... Fat phobic. Oh my God. Good ahead. I still don't know what a fat, I mean like,

fat phobic. I wanna, did she make her afraid of fat people because she made us, I know, she made us statement. I just wanna see her quote. If you're eating, she might come by and bite your hand right off. That's what fat phobia is. Yeah. You still wanna see what?

I just wanna see her quote. Okay. Let's see if we can find that. Maybe this is fake news. Test holiday, fat phobic lens. There it is. You know what? What does she say?

She said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blahokie, gaba, nipa, pinchi. She is a gukassolo. The 36, oh here we go. The 36 year old Fetsuo enjoyed a trip to Disneyland with her family this week, where she says her family, Ronald Grimiss, Ronald McDonald, and the McNugget buddies, where she says she walked miles. Amazing.

Yeah, I mean, went on rides and ate some great food. How would she know? She just en hails it. No taste. Yeah. Following her trip, images of the model appeared on the sites of daily mirror and whale wars, where a headline said, holiday was, they didn't, they didn't say that, it's daily star, where a headline said, holiday was celebrating, quote, loving her body. And one image was captioned, a Mickey ice cream proved just too tempting.

This week I went to Disneyland with my family. In the 10 hours I was there, I walked miles, capital miles. That must mean it's an acronym for something. Manatees in life. Right. Eat. Eat shit. Eat shit.

I went on rides and yeah, ate some great food. The daily mail and day of the meal decided to share some paparazzi photos of me at my most tired. Okay. And only in the moments when I was eating food. Okay. Okay. So the fat phobic lens is figurative.

Well, no, let's see. She talks about it a lot. Phobic. No, no, let's see. She talks about it a lot. Uh, phobic. Uh, no, she wrote that. What they didn't share was me and Bowie, uh, sharing all of our, what is Bowie? She goes around with a little pig. She's got a pet pig like, uh, the Beverly Hillbillies or the Green Acres that she takes around this Bowie. Sharding all of our, oh, sharing all of our ice cream and taking bites one after the other and laughing. Oh. What? What they didn't show was the reality of my life that I'm lucky to be in a position to spend a great day with my son at Disney. Oh, Bowies are son. Okay. Oh. When the media shares photos of me

through the lens of their fat phobic assumptions. Oh, okay. They tell everyone who looks like me, they are worthless. Okay, so figurative. Oh, literal, like a literal a fat phobic lens. I don't think you could have a literal fat phobic lens. Well, I mean, we were talking about, you know, a lens. Gravity.

Yeah. When they create a breathing ground for body shaming comments, they create a swamp. Oh, no. Gotta drain the swamp. Where hatred of others and ourselves can grow. She has to use swamps for just to release the pressure on her knees and lower body. You know, the water helps like my boy and see a little bit. Actually, wades into just that to get the weight off her feet.

A little bit. Yeah. If we want to live in a better kind of world, we need to reject this kind of harmful behavior. I do not want to live in a better or a kind of one. I know you don't. It. Mmm. Let's see.

These pictures ever eating. I bet this is going to be pretty gruesome. So she's saying Halloween. She's saying she shared the food with her tiny son, right? So it's like a she ate the sun. She had another one. He ate half and she ate half. Oh, is that what she's saying?

Well, no, I mean, that's kind of what she's, you know, kind of alluding to. Look at this. It's a paparazzi. What do you think they're going to shoot? I mean, yeah, I guess, but you're also eating all day, probably. I mean, positivity campaign or test holiday celebrates loving her body by eating everything at Disney Land. Disney World. Oh, man.

Look at that. Look at how happy G is on that eating that ice cream. Yeah. Popsicle. I love that hand to the face. Yeah. Oh, this fall. What is that? Jelly beans? What the fuck is this? I think so. Should you bring jelly beans? I just got a bottle of water for hydrating, that's good. She got a bottle of water for playing with pop rocks. That's good. Oh boy, here's another big one. Oh my gosh, you can barely bring your arms together

to eat that a Mickey ice cream, prove just too tempting. Oh, thank God for the popper hot seas. And there's the sun rising Oh, thank God for the paparazzi's. And there's the sun rising on the red, she's wearing a yellow dress there. Yeah, a bunch of Kryptonians just get really strong if they're within 500 miles of that dress. Ah, she told bands to come and say hello

if they saw her around the park and she meant literally around the park. Well, she's probably hoping for, you know, some celebrities like, you know, free stuff. They hope they get recognized. She's hoping for free like Mickey eyes. Hey, take a bite of that ice cream. Just, hey, nice to meet you. Can I buy you a cream? Yes. Yeah, by all of them right? Okay, that was this week. It's clam chowder bulls, please Get in the sourdough. It's something for yourself, too. Can I have a bite? What did you get?

Can I have a bite of that? Yeah My god That was this week in fat news Can I? Can I have a part of that? Yeah. Oh, my God. That was this week in Fount news. Dear Dick, I've reached a milestone where it crossroads that I come seeking the wisdom of someone with too small of a face who despite this handicap has managed to find the finer points in life.

No, I don't think so. I have not found any. Okay. I'm in my mid 30s, I'm currently rudderless in the great sea that is work. Wow. All right. Fucking Hemingway. I've always had one form of employment or another, but never felt a drive or motivation to excel at anything but hobbies. Right. I doubt that you excel at those hobbies. How about you do them and enjoy them. But I wonder, I doubt I have a suspicion.

Well, he said to drive to excel, right? Yeah. He didn't say that's presumptuous. I mean, oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. He wants to. He has passion for those. That's it. He wants to do that motion. Career aspects are what are currently causing my disposition

as I've still not even really figured out what I want to begin a career in. Oh boy buddy, son, son, son, son, son, son, I don't necessarily love work. It's something I look forward to every day instead of falling into the pitfalls of depression and self-loathing. But the clock has struck for me to realize that my current situation in life is untenable for much longer without serious consideration on getting that ticket to Greenland when I

reach 40. You can I kill yourself? Overwork? He wants what? He wants something that he can call a career that will give more meaning to his life. That may not, that may not be. There he's no fucking meaning. What it is.

What are you talking about? My inquiry for you is what helped a younger Dr. Phil Eradick, Masterson, decide to follow his dreams of being a best-selling author, the desire to hurt people. There you go. Bad, they're bad people, they're lying all the time, they are up their own ass all the time, and the only thing that hurts them

is jokes at their expense that you can get away with. And it hurts them a lot. It's the only thing you can legally do to harm a lot of people at the same time. I don't know, as simple as that. America's worst Mexican in finding a career path, you actually seem to pick some semblance of enjoyment out of. I don't see this as a career.

No, no, I know you don't. No, no, no, definitely. No, you're a, you have a whole different thing. You know, that's, yeah. All options are available and nothing is off the table, no matter the difficulty. I just need some guidance from someone who already has a life coach. Go fuck yourself, and please give Sean

my best smooches, possum pictures, and encouragement to do another civil war reenactment. We really have to do one of those civil war reenactments. That'd be fun. We talk about that like 200 episodes ago. We did, yeah, it's been a minute. Normal sized face, patron. I don't know.

So is he want you to like pick a career? He's like an actor. What's my motivation? That's what this is. Or is he saying, is he saying, does he wants us to say, you should follow one of your hobbies because you have like passion for that?

Maybe. It's a little bit. Don't do that. Or do it. I mean, but do it shameless little bit. Don't do that. Yeah, or do it. But do it shamelessly. Do it so much that you hate it. If you like writing, which seems like you do because you're using a lot of big words,

then do it grossly. Like people don't, successful people have no pride. They're shameless and gross with their self promotion, their entitlement. They tell people what to think about them. It's horrible. Do it until, if you like your hobbies and your passions or whatever, do it in a way that you hate.

I guess that will make you money. What's the last part of his sentence? Go fuck yourself. What's the other story? What's he asked, what's the last question he asked? All options are available and nothing is off the table. No matter the difficulty. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, anything, but... Here's what, nothing is gonna give you motivation. Yeah. And if you don't have it, people don't have it.

There's a big deal. They can, they're always looking for, well what do I do if I like, don't have ambition? Oh, dude. Yeah, I mean, you, if you don't wake up and the first thing you think every day is not how much you hate everyone. And then you can put that drive into doing your business and trying to take

from other people and enrich yourself. That's a fine way to do it. If you don't have that kind of motive, if you want to be like a Mr. good guy and help everybody out and that's if you don't have a drive like that, you just got to fucking fake it. I got to fucking fake it and learn it as you go, but stop, stop. People who have it don't ask themselves why they don't have it all the time. So stop doing that and fake it.

Fake it till it's a habit. You can make yourself an alcoholic. That's why you can drink every day and then you're dependent on alcohol. And no one will say that's dumb, right? If you wake up and do cocaine every day, you're a co-c- you're a co-cat. You will be addicted to cocaine.

You can do the same thing with all this shit, not just show up for work, but whatever you do, try to do as hard as you can and aggressively as you can. You can form good habits. You can form good habits. Of course. So it feels weird that you're not doing no want, no, huge majority of people do not want to work out, but they do. Yeah. They want them. You can't. Majority of people do not want to work out, but they do. Yeah, they force them.

You think test holiday wakes up every day and is hungry. She's fights anorexia. She doesn't want to eat at all. Right. She wakes up every day and begins eating right immediately, no matter what. Right. And before she can before she can talk herself out of it, she gets, she puts the ice cream in her hands. So she has to eat it. Exactly. She has to do out of it. For she can talk herself out of it. She puts the ice cream in her hands,

so she has to eat it. Exactly. She has to do something with it. She doesn't want to eat all of Bowie's lunchables. No. Who would want to eat all their kids snacks and be taken pictures of as a big fucking slob eating jelly beans by the handful

that aren't even sold at Disneyland and she obviously brought them home. Nobody, but she does it. She does it every day. For you. For you. For all of you. by the handful that aren't even sold at Disneyland and she obviously brought from home, nobody. But she does it. She does it every day. For you, for you. For all of you. To that, that sacrifice.

That's real sacrifice. You just gotta fake it, bud. I don't know, do you know anybody who doesn't have motivation? I don't know why I hear that so much. I don't know what to do about my career. Like just do as many things as possible. Do as many things as possible. Do as many things as possible.

Do as hard as possible. You don't like them. And then quit. And then quit. Fuck it. Find something else. I'm trying to think of, if I know anybody who just really doesn't have motivation,

I don't know. I'd have to think about that. Mm-hmm. Maybe one more. The only people I know without motivation have like severe mental problems. Oh really? Yeah. I'm sorry about killing themself too.

Yeah, that's pretty severe. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. If you're going to do that, do as you're best, the best of your abilities. Because you don't want to get that wrong. Yeah, people make fun of you. Kill myself right. Fuckin' hell, man. Wake up with no face, half a face, something like that. Okay, this has been the Dixia. I know for DOS

on plus C-Bos. PageR.com. Dixia.com slides to Dixia. See you next Tuesday. Let's see voicemails. What's up dude? How are you? Uh, doing well, man. Just got back from Austin writing around bikes naked. And I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just

going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I? What's going on, dude? How are you?

Uh, doing well, man. Just got back from Austin riding around bike naked and shit. Right around bike, bike cycles. Yeah. Why are you doing that? Oh, man, my girlfriend brought me along. So your girlfriend rides naked bicycles? Yeah, yeah, she's into the whole nudist kick.

Oh, really? The kick. Yeah, nudist fads. Okay. Is she hot? Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah.

So I went in like a lot of people I went through a bad breakup, they're in COVID and the fucking lockdown is shit like that. All that bullshit. Yeah. Well, so I got I just buried myself in work. But whenever shit started opening back up, one of the first little clubs that I'm kind of know of that open back up was the BDSM group that I know of.

Oh my God. Okay. Well, the first girlfriend I got out of prison used to run her own dungeon like she lived there and shit like that. So. Did you see any of that? Any of the dungeon stuff? Yeah.

Like what was she? Well, it was What was the weird stuff she brought in? Test holiday lived under the bridge going to Oh, she liked to, she liked to spank chicks with a toilet scrubber like the little bristle. And like, yeah, she'd like leave marks as shit, man. She was fucking mean. So she had a dungeon where women would come in to get spanked with toilet brushes. I think I was a cleaning product. Yeah. By the time, by the time I met her, she hadn't had it for like a year and some changes, shit like that.

But she's still hung around these people. Okay. So anyways, right when this shit opened back up, that's where I met my girlfriend. We've been doing all sorts of weird shenanigans ever since. Like what? What was that? Well, it was kind of weird. We were in a bridge right now.

Well, the first date we went on was at a nudist colony. So I mean, that was like pretty up front off the rip. And then you know, you're getting into. Yeah, how did that go? I mean, it feels like, well, I feel like I'm in the boy scouts again, man, because I'm like tying all sorts of weird knots that I hadn't done in a long time and shit like that. Why? Why are you tying weird knots?

What do you think? I was trying to worry a shit like that. Actually, I have found anyone that's trying to meet chicks to go to like a polykink group or a BDSM group or something like that because chicks are actually pretty upfront about shit. And they just make you work for it a little bit. I mean, let's know big deal. It's a physical trade off.

All right. A polykink group. Yeah. What kind of environment is that? Many kids. Well, and so that's pretty interesting because pretty much there's a lot of people where at any given time, pretty much anybody's open to go, you know, kind of see anyone kind of, you know,

test the water out, if you will. At least there's that kind of vibe is in the air, if you know what I mean. Are you attractive though? Yeah. I say so. Are the girls at the Polly meetups big fat hogs are they? Because I've seen a Swinger's convention. I was in Orlando at another convention. Yeah, not a swingers convention next to it. And it was like a sea of people kind of floating in.

We're all so fat, they connected to the next one. I think a bunch of heads floating on a sea of flesh. I say, they're. Okay, it depends on who you know, man, because a lot there's a lot of circles that overlap with the whole polygroup stuff and things like that. There's the, like the Cain community, there's the burner community, there's the, what else there? Oh yeah, there's the nudist community and that type of thing. The burner people tend to be like a little bit more attractive than, you know, a usual

crowd, I would say. Yeah. Yeah. So hygiene Yeah. Yeah. They're hygiene still lacking. Well, I'll trade off versus opportunity, cost dick. Yeah. Okay. So wait, what's the nudist colony like?

I don't know about that. Oh, it's a relaxing man. Like real relaxing. It's actually kind of nice just to kind of let it hang open, man. Like I thought it was, I could see that. Yeah. That too, especially where

the weather is nice. What are the people there like? What do you do with a new discolony? What's the, what is it? What's the experience? Go swimming, Google some titties. Oh, dude, so I went out to Austin and they got this place called hippie hollow. It's unlike the side of a fucking cliff and shit. And some Instagram thought came out there to do like a photo shoot thing. And man, I feel bad for like, you know, the boyfriends of Instagram. Oh, this dude, he had a fucking mountain gear that he had to like haul up this fucking like rigid ass rock face. And I'm like, dude, this shit looks like it's fucking bullshit, man. The shit the dudes will do to fucking get some pussy, dude.

I swear. Yeah. It would be annoying following those girls around Instagram having to take 20 different shots. Yeah. Yeah. But man, I was wondering what the hell this chick's only fangs was, man. I felt like when this chick got done doing her photo, she would, I would her like $2.50

or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was like when this chick had done, do under photoshoot, I would have like $2.50 or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I was like, all right, we got a convenient place that we set up on. Okay, so what is your, Johnson Brown says you have an erotic story. Is it about the nudist colony? Yeah, well, and just just meeting this tick and meeting my girlfriend in general, because man, I kind of fucked up this time, Dick.

I started dating a therapist. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. She always knows everything why you're doing everything and why it's wrong. Yeah. Well, we got to, we got to interest the interplay, man, because it's not like I'm not used to being around highly manipulative people. I've been around a lot of hustlers on the inside and I got two older sisters, man.

So, you know, I like, it's hard to get one over on me. Yeah. So what does she do? Oh, well, it helps people sort through her problems. Really, I try not to pry all that much because the first of it's all confidential, and shit like that. And also, that's like her profession, you know, like whenever she gets home, she doesn't really want to have to like be a therapist

or anything. Yeah, great. Yeah. Who would want that? No. Yeah. Well, what's the erotic story? What does she, what does she do? What did you guys do? Bob. Well, well, her birthday came around and Dick show presents. Okay, her birthday. Her brother's story. So anyways, it's kind of hard to impress this chick because she's kind of been around the block for a while. She has this whole poly thing going on. And so she's attractive enough where, you know, she's, you know, she's seen quite a bit.

So I'm trying to find a way at how I can actually like craft, you know, like some birthday sex. It's actually pretty memorable. Okay. Been around the block. Been around the block. Sounds more like wandering the desert for 40 years. Well, I mean, she's pretty blunt and upfront.

And so she's, you know, she ran a dungeon. She ran a dungeon is gonna notice Polly kink community and you're trying to think of some mind blowing sex for. Yeah, so you got a diaper and a bunch of baby stuff when you got her. No, no, look, I used to go to nurse, well, I used to be in nursing school, man, like I

got the better part of a nursing degree. It's done every though. Yeah. Well, you know, you know, you live your life, you've been around long enough, you've got a couple of stories here and there, and you learn a few things. Also, I got a pretty good memory and I don't forget stuff. So anyways, I've talked to where she's had some fantasies about some medical things. So I got some some speculums on Amazon. I got it. I already had an old scope.

Okay. Yeah. You already have an old scope. What's an old scope and why do you have one? An oldoscope? Yeah. Okay. You can use this thing to like look in your ear or look in your nose or something like that. You know what they are. Oh, like a use this thing to like look in your ear or look in your nose or something like that. You know what they are. Oh, like a fiber optic thing. Yeah, yeah. Or one camera.

Little, oh, all right, let me look it up. Why do you have it? Oh, so, well, I'm a machinist by trade. I'm constantly wearing ear plugs. It's possible you can get ear wax and paction every now and then. So I like to make sure that I'm like, you know, I take my ear health seriously. That's what this thing is. That thing, the doctor sticks in your ear. Yeah. Yeah. That was directing nanobots in your head. Oh, damn it. I've always

make them not do it. Okay. So you got one of these things and then you bought a bunch of speculums online. Well, so I already had one, like, I had an extra gaming piece. They already had the setup at our house on a projector and shit like that. So I set up OBS, so then you can have like an overhead view of everything that's going on. I also had it hooked up to the oldest go.

Okay. The length she's going to to try to show her something. She's never seen. Oh my God. All right. Then what happened? Well, I have a whole bunch of rope. And so like I tie her thighs together, I tie her waist up that's like kind of like hand

cuffed together. And well, then I spread her open with a spec. Let me get the Otis gop to actually I peek her out inside there so she can like see everything that's going on on the projector. Inter pussy. Interpussy. Yeah, yeah. He's like a camera and her pussy and then projected it onto the ceiling or the wall. I projected it on the wall.

I got like one of those pull down screens. I believe like 120 inch thing. Yeah. I got a surprise party. They walk in the door right at that moment. Yeah, right. Surprise. Just getting her mom throws her a surprise party. I got it all recorded. If you want to see it, if you promise not to show it to me, yes, send it to me. I got you. There's probably a

legal. We're doing eyes. I assume she can sense her. I already talked to her a little bit about it. Good God. Well, did she like how long were you? How long were you taking her on the tour of her pussy? Yeah. For her birthday. Well, first guy, I say to her girlfriend in Disneyland, not to their pussy to serve it. I had to get the speculative scent, like just right so I could get the camera to look square like straight at a service Fucking She's into it the whole time because she's into like medical play medical shit right because that's like a Yeah, I mean if she have that kind of fetish going nuts that like what's her reaction? I think a lot of people would be like you'll see you'll see it you'll see a dick because like as I'm spreading

her out like oh my god all her secretions are pulling up in the bottom of the speculonly stuff like that. Oh God. Yes, then it did me me on Discord. I won't play it. I mean, can I play the audio? I'm going to watch it. There actually is no audio. I don't have an acceptable mic over here, really. Okay. All right.

So can we watch the video right now? Oh, man, hold on. Okay. It's pretty good. It's pretty long, man. It's like an hour 47. What? Well, yeah. Oh, like a hour 47. What?

Well, yeah. Oh, so I know some. What was there a diagnosis at least at the end? Did you find anything? Yeah. No, I forgot halfway through, man. I think I'm going to get hit with a medical malpractice degree or whatever.

I would say. I wouldn't even, I wouldn't spend 20 minutes on, I wouldn't order, I wouldn't spend 20 minutes on. I wouldn't order a speculum. You know what's up with that? Like those same things, you know, in a more real military form. Remember I was telling you how I went to the Pompeii exhibit at the National History Museum and there's like, there's like one whore house for like every 30 citizens in Pompeii.

Yeah, so many email me and said that you were wrong on that. But I didn't read it. I don't know, man. It's just what I saw at the fucking day. It was crazy. I believe it. I believe it. They made Guaram, which is like a precursor to like Worcestershire sauce, Worcestershire

sauce. And yeah, Horaceys. No, lots of fermented fish guts and chili. Oh, oh, oh, okay. They're still there, but yeah, they had, do they showed all the kinds of those things on display? Really? Yep.

I think you're right because it stood out speculum. Like, remember that thing last week that New York has twice as many illegal massage parlors as they do Starbucks? Yeah. Yeah, those are all whorehouses. Yeah. Of course they do. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, same thing. Anyway, good. Did you see the, the, the Twitch leak that came out? They came out with all. How was it? Yeah, dude. Dude, I didn't, I had no idea that a Dungeons and Dragons channel was number one. I didn't know that either.

They're, they're making a ton though. Jesus. That's fucking crazy. You know, I played Dungeons and Dragons in prison, man. I, yeah, I remember you saying that. How was that? I made a, I made a D20 in the furniture factory out of wood. They don't give you guys dice or you don't get to have D20. No, it's contraband, dude. Low caliber died. It's only gambling paraphernalia. Oh my God. Okay. So what we have to do is we made this thing called a spinner. It's contraband, dude. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling.

A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling.

A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling.

A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. A lot of people are gambling. make it do like, you know, either between a D4, a D20, you know, whatever you want, every spin can be a die roll, but actually wanted a D20. There was a fucking Mormon bank robber that figured out how to do it. I copied, like he did it first and copied him. Who figured out how to make a Dodecahedron in the woodshed? I see an icyhedron, a Dodecahedron.

Wait, no, yeah, it is, wait, is it a Dodecahedron? Fuck. Yeah, a deck is 10. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Two, 10s. Wait, no, yeah, it is. Wait, is it a dodecahedron? Fuck. Yeah, Decker's 10. I'm too tense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I get them mixed up, but yeah, you know, you make, like, equilateral triangles that are a little bit shrunk in. You like, you make a jig that's cut it like 32 degrees or some shit, like that sand that all down. It may not. You might be right. I say, he said he dropped looking it up right now. I don't know what it maybe do that. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Well, the guy, the guy that figured out how to make this man, this do piss me off all the time because we'd get him fucking Dungeons and Dragons arguments and he pissed me off

because he was like, he was Mormon. He was like incredibly smart. He was also incredibly racist. Like he was like, like he knew all the racist rhetoric, like not just for the memes and shit like that, man, it literally bugged me a whole lot. Yeah. He was a, yeah, well studied. Yeah. Well, we had a lot of like anthropology class together and shit like that. Oh, no, it's a reasonable thesis. Yeah, we kind of have some little fucking fuck contest games where we'd see who can finish test first and shit like that. It was always one of us. What what race to the Mormons hate? Most. Oh, man, are they

okay with Jews? They generally hate everyone. it's weird because this motherfucker still wouldn't like drink caffeine in a shit like that. It's fucking weird. Howard by racism only. Yeah. This dude's family have been like Robin Banks for generations. They just walk into a bank and rob it with a note. And even if you get caught because you didn't have a weapon, it's a different charge. Oh, huh. They would have the note just threatened that they have explosives on them. So, no, you don't say anything. Just, just give me the money.

Give me the money. If you say you have a weapon, you might as well have the weapon. That's what I learned about that. That's a crime. Did you say, give me all your money? No, no, that is a crime to say, give me all your money. But if you say, I have a weapon, give me all your money. That's completely separate.

Right. So what did he go to jail for? Why did they give him money if he just had a nice? Right. He robbed the bank by going in and saying, give me all your money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was that a crime? Give me all your money.

Because, there you go. He robbed me. It's because you just can't do that in a bank. They already have policies for all this like if someone walks up with a note that says give me all your money. You're supposed to just give it up and try to call the law. That's fucking that's bullshit. You should be able to walk into anywhere in the world. That's a fucking free speech violation. Give me all your money. Okay. Here you go.

Yeah, that's fucking. I'm at an airport. Come on, Dick. Come on. You're not saying bomb, though. You're just saying, give me, give me your money. Yeah. Give it to me. No, only the banks could say, give me your money, Dick. You know how this works. Yeah.

Come on, get real. You know the rules. That's bullshit. There's a bunch of implied rules. Yeah. Dick doesn't agree with any of those rules or even acknowledged that entertainers. He even let me in on the biggest problem reboot dude. My show is basically like the reverse version of yours.

What do you mean? So they cancel each other out. Yeah. So, well, so the biggest problem is making a really big deal about something doesn't matter that much. I take something that people really care about a whole lot and then say why it doesn't matter. You think AIDS doesn't matter? I think it matters to a lot of people. Come on, we're not talking about female genital mutilation. We're talking about

whether strong weathermen or whatever the hell. Matcha weathermen, they're hot shun from matcha weather. Yeah. Whether man, they're hot shot for match. I'm whether. Yeah. Fuck that up. Really, really huge problems, really huge problems, Dick. They are finger pain. I brought in.

Yeah. Is negative. Can you believe that Sean? Negative finger pain. Really? I think that's kind of a general term too. You think a lot of wrong with your fingers, Dick. I heard that two and a half.

It's like, what the hell? Man, you are really, you're a really bad pitcher at some of these things, man. What's wrong with my fingers? They're in pain. He didn't know he could order a speculum. You didn't play to the audience, Dick. Come on, Dick. You become rich and disconnected with the common man.

That's why you're going to start losing more of these problems. I am just as connected to the common man as ever, which was not the common man. The common man fuck up things that I pay them to do all the time. I'm just as aware of their problems now as ever. That makes sense. You can beat Vito whenever he's actively acting like a heel and snitching on people.

I put my pants on two legs at a time at five p.m. Just like, just like the common man. There you go. Man, Vito gave me a great drop, man. I have a, I have a soundboard. And on my show, Vito said, I can be kind of a blue pill beta cuck sometimes. Yeah, that thing, that thing is worth it's weight and gold. Oh boy.

Okay, so what happened with your girlfriend in this speculum? Are you going to send me a video on watching right now with Sean? Oh, it's too big for discord. Hold on. I'm on Google or we transfer something. Yeah. Yeah. I'll link up with you.

I'll send it to you. Okay. And what did she say? Was it the best sex she ever, well, didn't have? Definitely hit the leaderboard somewhere. Okay. You know how women are sometimes it's really hard to get them to say exactly, but you can kind of get to where they think about it in the ballpark. I don't know. I have abandoned trying to get their feedback on anything. Yeah, who cares? Yeah.

How do they? I don't you wash that specula moth, put it in the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah. Got a separate bag for all this stuff and that is part of it. You know, I got to make sure you keep everything clean and all that type of shit. Go ahead.

We're going to like a kink Halloween party where people are going to be like, vlogging each other and shit like that. It's one of those clothing optional things. I love beating people's asses. I think that would be fun. Yeah. I didn't think you like it, but man, I would whip the shit out of somebody. Yeah.

I use, I use an airsoft gun. Oh, you do? No, yeah. Yeah, I have a airsoft, it's modeled after a cold piece maker. It works just like it to. You bring shoot him a couple of times and then roll the cylinder and then start shooting where you don't know if it's actually going to shoot you or sit there and hit you with a little cool burst of CO2. Okay. You bring your fucking people like that. Your Vietnamese Airsoft team in with you, you know, they love Airsoft. Oh, hell no.

I'm not trying to kill people. I think you're making a dear answer. I'm so sorry. So how did you know you were done using your speculum and your camera on your girlfriend for her birthday? Well, she's kind of a hard nut to crack. So once I finally got her off, that's when it's like, all right, we can finally finish this stuff.

She came at some point during the speculative. Did you give her a bill? Yeah, hold on. Okay. She overcharging. Should I should have? Right, did you take her insurance information? I'm sorry, we don't take that insurance.

Did you see any other patients? Oh, damn. Like, I mean, I really should have, because I did put a whole lot of effort into it. Because I guess she's busy. She's busy. I'm busy. Normally, we're not always like seeing each other and stuff like that. And I wasn't going to see her for like a week.

So I had like about that much time to put a put everything together. No, that now now that you're describing it, if I went a week without seeing my girlfriend, I would put that kind of effort. Makes more sense. Yeah, but I see her every day. So it just removes my motivation to do nice things like that. You know? Yeah. Did you look up her ass? No, I didn't do that because there's a separate speculant per like a spread in the ass openness, like more horizontal or something like that.

And I wasn't trying to get them to get it all that because there's some people to do that. But then you got to like, you know, get like, you got to prepare for it a little more where you really want to be careful what you eat. And then you should like, it'll first otherwise you could have a damn tragedy on your hand and shit like that. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is she like telling all of her friends at the Polly Kink community about this speculative birthday? No, not particularly. Hold on. calling all of her friends at the Polly Kank community about this speculative birthday. Not particularly. I'm not really sure because I don't really pry into who she talks about it all to all that much.

It doesn't really concern me in all honesty. Okay. Yep. Well, and she, you know, this is like a Polly relationship. She has other partners. I know she talks to them about it. She has other partners. I know she talks to them about it. She has other male partners. Well, one of them she pegs regularly and I met them all. They're all cool. If I didn't

like one of them, it'd probably be a little bit different. What do you have like a family reunion with all of her with her boyfriends? We guys all get together in the park and play stuff. They're all in a other women that are involved with other married women. It's weird. That's quite a scene you've got yourself into. All the men are involved with other women that are married to other women. Lesbians.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it's an interesting group, but they're all cool. Have you mapped it out like who's banging who? Yeah, that's a weird tree, huh? Yeah. Yeah, oh, that's not all that complicated.

My end's kind of capped off, so it's not that big a deal. Right. So you're just banging the one girl. Uh-huh. Okay. How many boyfriends is she now? You don't have a problem with her having a, like, pegging other guys? No, that's fine with me.

It doesn't bother me at all. Huh. Wow. Some guys don't have the ass rate. Some guys don't have the ass rate. We're not doing audio engineering, even for work. I see that. Oh, I'm just not a jealous guy, man.

I know what I got. Plus, I know I got the biggest dick, so I get to tease everybody and be a real asshole about it from time to time. One of the other guys went on a podcast to like about getting pegged and shit like that. And man, I sent it to Carl from WATP and shit like that. Oh, no. I was like, oh, man. Gold.

Gold. Okay. Well, congratulations. Yeah, that's a I'm just taking it in. I'm quite was highly entertained. Yeah, you do whatever you want. Imagine that. That's not even thinking about what you're doing. What am I doing? It's actually like open to getting into some shenanigans and actually be in open about it where you're not going to have to worry about it being a damn travesty later, you know. Yeah. I say that's pretty open. People are so repressed that I can't even have a conversation with them a lot of time.

Opened. Yeah, actually, I had to get used to talking about anything sexual at all because my normal friends that I have, we just don't even talk about it in all honesty. Oh, that's good. I don't even talk about sex with Sean. Yeah, I don't give a shit about how, like, my friend has sex with his wife. I couldn't give two shit. Yeah, we talk about playing video games and you know playing Ducks and stuff.

Randy calls it a e-theor. He calls his girlfriend while I'm having. Oh my god. He told me that. Like what the hell that's weird. E-theor. He told you that. Yeah. Okay.

E-theor. The Dodgers. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, it's Dodgers reference. He's here. The Dodgers. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, it's Dodgers reference. He's retired. Oh he is. Oh yeah. Oh, Turner then.

Yeah. Oh God. Oh, JT. He calls her that. Yeah, he calls her. That's the weird buzzer JT. Yeah. Makes her, makes her comb her beard out.

Yeah. Big red beard. He's got a big beard from a costume store. He plays that song, hold the body song. They always come out. Yeah, big red. He's got a big beard from a costume store. He plays that song. Hold the body song But they always come out. He's like, why don't you why don't I call you turn her and he's like, I'm not that's weird. I'm not yeah. Yeah Good God. Okay. This went off the rails. Yeah. Yeah, oh Man, I forget I'm trying to see if I can send that video. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have it. Oh, no, my files are too powerful still. It's not a bitch. Too

bit. How big is that? It's a video. So now we're in 47 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like these hold on hold on. The base version of this thing is two gigs. That's not that big. Google Drive will do that. So what do you have planned next? I'll get it to you. What do you have planned next? I don't know, man, I kind of do things as I think about stuff.

Okay. Did your girlfriend have any girlfriends? Does she bang any chicks? She has, yeah. Oh. Okay. That's cool. And she's also, she's also quick to mention is scope one out and stuff like that. It's actually, that's actually nice too, because she's not like pointing some chick being attractive out is to do it is like a performative thing. I'm sure every dude has seen some chick do that and it's just fucking cringes shit. So she can at least point it out and actually

have it be all right. You know what I mean? Yeah, performative like what they're just showing off for attention. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to do anything for attention. I feel like once they start doing that, you can just pretty much talk about anything, right? Oh, you know, they don't really mean it. Like, I don't care. Just, yeah, you know, you're off to the raises. Even an inch. Okay. So, wait, what was your D&D? What happened with the Mormon? Who called? He liked to argue about the freaking alignment chart, which is, which is, have you ever gotten into like an alignment argument, Dick, and when it comes to Dungeons and Dragons, like every day, it's an alignment argument dick and when it comes to Dungeons and Dragons?

I feel like every day is a fucking alignment argument. That's so the, so the Seaniote alignment is, no, it's like there's like nine alignments and Dungeons and Dragons that define your morality. Oh, who you align with? It's like you're, you're, you're, there's good, lawful and evil. Like you understand though, it's like's good lawful and evil. Like you understand that was, yeah, I'm by the law. Because good and evil, lawful and chaotic, you got a two-axis thing. And this freaking

Mormon, do for whatever reason, thought that like lawful and good were essentially synonymous with each other. Like, what's real law was good? Yeah. Right. That's what they would think. Okay. I couldn't, well, he's short circuited about mine so many times because I've made the most like very basic arguments as to why that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. You give them like an example of like a clearly evil law. Like you're not allowed to feed a whole. You're in prison arguing that the law is the absolute good. How is this law? How are you having this argument, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And it's weird because there's not a whole lot of DMs to talk to when you're locked up. We're a very small group. There might be like five or six of us on a unit, something like that. And I'm also one of the ones that has like all the books and shit like that too. Like I still got them, man, that have like my TDC number on the shit like that. I got them in prison. You have like all the players, all the monsters books and players, handbooks and stuff in prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for three, five D and D, the ones that actually have like all the rules for like, yeah, for the, when they still

have alignment charts in them, they're like, took that shit out. And then they wanted to take out like a bunch of race things and stuff like that because they saw that they decided that the race was problematic. And so fucking stupid. I still have all my, I think second edition, that's engine. On the A, D, D, D, shit. Yeah. That's what I started with when I was playing like Baldur's Gate back in the day. And shit like that. I didn't know you could have D&D books in prison. Shit. Yeah. So those things come from like a bookstore. So long as books come from a bookstore,

they have like a band book list and shit like that. But most of it's pornography. They're real fucking moralizing in prison. Yeah. I can't believe they have pornography. No shit. Just reading off all the testosterone in your body. Don't look at all. You're not even allowed to jack off. I remember you saying that that's, that's crazy. I can't believe that prison, prison thinks they can prohibit inmates from creating random numbers. Like dice are forbidden because of game like you can't, we can't make random numbers. You don't think we can figure out a way to make random numbers. What the fuck? Although gamble on all sorts, I've seen people gamble on like the country music awards in shit like that.

You gamble on anything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And people are so bored in there, anything that could have any type of random chance that people are tracking. Yeah, they'll gamble on it. Yeah. Because people just want something to do.

Now, the Super Bowl is crazy and March March madness is crazy. That's when you see people like smuggling like whole bags of commissary in the hallway that they throw in another dormant shit because of like gambling debts. It's fucking funny. Uh oh, wait, they have to smuggle in contraband stuff because they lost so bad in the Super Bowl. So they have to like, smuggle in a bunch of stuff. Well, a hundred bucks in commissary is almost like a pillowcase full of shit, man. Okay. So if you want like all these soups and these and like meat packs and chips and all the other cut like whatever the fuck they're getting out of the commissary store.

Yeah. It's a bunch of shit. And so it's not always in the same dorm as everyone else. So somebody's going to need a speculon. They got it. Get it across. Horosantil one now. Somebody's gonna get it. Horosantil the second.

Yeah, people will wait until they roll shower. Yeah, like a tire check. It'll be two dorms across the hall from one another. But for a brief moment of time, those two doors are open at the same time. And so two people will kind of like run block on the picket window so they can't get a really clear view while everybody else is going, and they get a bunch of like chips and stuff. Yeah, people run stuff back and forth. Well, man, when it comes to fucking over the law, that's when there's all the sudden the shit load of camaraderie. Like people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe that Mormon laws are good.

I wait. Did you send that video? Is it too big? It's too big. I'm going to have to get a drop. There's no way you can figure it out like this week. And then no, I need to watch it now. Sean, I need to watch it right now. Drive doesn't work. Google Drive. Sean, I need to watch you right now. Drive doesn't work. Google Drive. It's such a cock tease. What do you want me to link it to? Just my email, Dick Maschison, achieve mail.com.

How long is that shit gonna take to get up there? He's probably already got it up there. Yeah, well, no, I don't have it in drive. I gotta put it on there. That's what I mean. What do you have it on? Just your computer. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Give me just a second. I think that's what it's about these days. It depends on where you're at. That's pretty decent. It's not my internet though. It's her shit. It's her setup. You're over there right now. Mm-hmm. There's no other doctors. Is this going to be a long-term relationship for you? Yeah. It's just lady. Oh yeah, we get along famously actually.

It's pretty nice. The new discoling, is there a lot of old people, disgusting people? That's all there's a ton of, there's a ton of old people. But I got a unique skill set, Dick, because I spent five years in prison. There's all sorts of nasty penis in your peripheral vision non-stop in prison, dude. So you just kind of get used to it. You get to the point where you could just tune out the penis. Yeah, you don't even see that shit anymore.

Put a little electrode in your brain that zaps you out of the. I love it. I was loading it to my dry 14 minutes. There's a party naked bar at Burning Man that I, well, when it was going on, I would go to with my man, Steve, every year, because he has this weird, he likes doing it because he doesn't like being naked. I don't have a problem with it, but every time we go, take our clothes off, there'd be this

German guy just walking around, making friends with everybody who had so many piercings on his dick. It looked like a Tiffany's commercial just distractingly, a distracting amount of metal. Right. So it's like, look at my dick. Look at my dick on his balls. But you don't see in prison because if you do, then you probably have to take that in there. I did, I did, I did run into a guy like that. It does the nudist colony, like out where I'm at. And then I was like, Oh, yeah, that's cool. Then I showed him my fuck off big prison tattoo. What's that? Yeah, yeah, that's great. Well, I sent you a picture of

the thing. I don't remember. Like, okay, hold on a second. I got this thing floating around somewhere. Wait, you're sending the video, right? Yeah, yeah, it's uploading right now. Is it? A T A 13 minutes? Oh, I don't know if we're going get 13 minutes kind of a long time. A little bit. We're gonna watch it next week. I want to watch it.

Yeah, I think so. Okay. Adam from Houston, what's your what's your new show that you're doing the cripple Jesus you still doing on? Oh, yeah, yeah, we're still doing who gives a shit. You know, we've been, we're on F so what like 35 now something like that. I can't fish. Here we deserve.

He does bonus episodes with us cripples and convicts. Do that once in a while. Good shit. Catfish, the guy who gets, who catfishes pedophiles and then shows up and kicks their ass and gets money in them. Yeah, we did a really good bonus episode where we talked about the difference between Australian prison and Texas prison. They heard my feelings, man.

Why? What's the difference? Oh, do Texas prison fucking sucks? I would imagine. I was Australian prison. It sucks so bad compared. Like, they got fucking Xboxes. People are like smuggling and thumb drives up their ass when they're turning themselves in and they got

fucking like gigs of porn and shit like that. I'm having to settle with fucking like playboys from the 80s that still existed and all these shakedowns and shit. It's horrible. To deny, if they, if you had pornography in prison, you want people to get along, right? Yeah. What the fuck? Oh, sometimes I swear they just do shit to keep people up, man. I actually think that's 100% true in like the 70s when they went when the privatization of prisons took off.

I think they started making it an endeavor to imprison as many people as possible because the prison population fucking skyrocketed in the 70s. And there's not like society didn't get a lot more dangerous. Was it the 70s or was it the 71? That's when it started. They just started making crazy shit illegal and locking people up for the sake of it randomly. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, man. Oh, dude, dick. I got a fucking rage for you. Okay, what is it? Man, one of the most incompetent things fucking happened to me. I'll tell you what's making me rage, fucking government employees, dude. Okay, so I'm on parole. And so, but I'm on low supervision. I hardly have to do

anything. Now, because of COVID, all I got to do is call a number once every three months. Like it's, it's not a big deal. Yeah. Pretty good. I can do that. But I get scheduled to call in and they just dry scheduled me on a fucking holiday. So no one's at the office, no one has their phone on. There's like no one there. So I get called by my new PO because I got to get rescheduled. And I'm such a low risk factor that they use me as just a flow over. Whoever the hell has a high case load, they just throw me on there as just to ease up

their load. So I have no rapport with any of these people. They've only maybe seen me once. Well, so I get a call from this chick saying, like, hey, this, you know, this is the holiday I'm gonna call you on this day. I go, okay. And they say, I'm gonna call you at 10.

And I go, all right. Well, 10 rolls around. I don't get a call. And I'm like, oh, shit, what the fuck? I give them an hour, nothing. So I call up there and I can't get anybody on the phone and I call their office, I call their state phone, I call everyone, I can't get anyone on the phone.

And if you miss one of these meetings, a warrant goes out for your fucking arrest. They're just trying to get you back in, dude. Like I fully believe that they're trying to imprison a lot of people in America just to keep the private prisons in the black. Well, actually parole, parole they want you to stay out. Like it's not that hard to make it on parole.

Probeation is a different story. So I knew that they would see that I tried to call that nothing would happen, but I can, I never underestimate just how incompetent a government employee can be. Yeah. They might act like this is just like, oh, a little glitch in the sums or whatever the fuck, but man, this is like my fucking freedom. I've had literal nightmares about forgetting the fucking call or go in or something like

that. And so it's, they finally, they call me like 15 minutes before they close it like you know, 445 and they're like, okay, we'll just do this tomorrow. But then about to finally I'm like, thank you, fuck. Like I was that whole day, I was a fucking nervous wreck. And what really pissed me off is the front office specifically told me not to go up there because COVID and I was like, yeah, COVID. What do you mean because COVID? If I get one more fucking because COVID and I was like, yeah, COVID, what do you mean

because COVID? If I get one more fucking because COVID, I'm going to fuck a shit myself. I'm so, it is forever, do to COVID, forever, do to COVID, the rest of you, I'll do this. Well, don't do anything. It's going to get you back in prison. Do to COVID. Oh, man, look, I'm on my peace and cues. I'm keeping myself out of trouble, man. Right. Right. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. You know, doing a fucking podcast with the cripple. Oh, man, we beat out Stuttering John and our Patreons. CJ's now highest paid crippled retard on Patreon. How much is he making? Oh, all we had to do was get past 120.

It wasn't that hard. Oh, God, Adam. Paulie, Kank, Pegging, My Word. I'm not a good shit, my word. What a romantic guy. Lot of irons in the fire. Yeah, he's versatile. That's like a whole proposal at Disneyland, right?

Yeah. Ordering speculums. No shit. What was it? Jesus, that was 40 minutes. We didn't call. I know. Hey, Jack, hey, Sean.

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. All right. These Chris, the Kiwi Hooker conversations are the greatest piece of content that's ever been presented on the Dixiel. And I will double my Patreon subscription if you can make this a regular thing. Okay. Don't tell him that. Right.

Cool. They are. Yeah. Sure. They're very interesting. They are. They, sure. They're very interesting. They are, they are fun. He tells me everything that he's doing with hookers. Let me try to, let me find a, he's got his own special tag on his email.

I gave my favorite hooker a tip. He tells me, he says me videos. I would like to call in sometime talking about my perspective guide to horror houses. So he has a favorite hooker. So there's a hooker out there who he has managed not to offend so that she will fucking more than once. Yeah, he has regulars.

Man, they must be fucked up. That means he sends me footage of something, US AF. I don't know. Plains right here. And he's asking for discord groups. Let me see if we can get his hooker stuff. Oh, yeah, here's one that he sent. Five days ago, I will be undergoing a bowel irrigation hydroelectric I think it is hooker stuff. Oh yeah, here's one that he sent. Five days ago, I will be undergoing

a bowel irrigation hydro-calonic hydrotherapy session where I will be watching my poop go through a transparent pipe while a chick massages my stomach. So he's gonna be in the... To get the poop out. Yeah, he's gonna be in the to get the poop out. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to be in a having a tube jammed in his ass. Right. So he, a hydrocholonic wants to make sure he can watch it. Volo woman massages his stomach and he's going to be giggling away like a lunatic. That's going to make him come how? I don't know. So you're a hydro, you're a colonic hydrotherapy specialist, right?

You're a scam artist. That shit's not real. Right. You're colon, everyone's colon's fine. No need to irrigate your colon. It's not a car. So you take that job to scam people and then you got this fucking screwball coming in, giggling away.

Probably thinks he needs a four times a week. Probably retire off his stupid ass. Yeah, I'll try to get more hooker text from him. I think that's the only thing he spends money on. Hookers and food. He's a genius. Maybe so. He really is.

He has his priorities, right? Yeah. People are talking about killing themselves. They don't have a career, but this guy's just, all the reason to kill himself. Yeah, and never got to the point. Yeah. He's got so many reasons to kill himself.

It's staggering that he's still around. But no, he's fine. Everybody else has the problem. Yeah, they do. Everybody else has the problem. Pick and Sean, it's a big grind here. Let me tell you what makes me a rage. You go on, you go on the hinge or the bumble or the tinder or whatever.

And of course, you see fat chicks galore and like whatever that's disgusting. But at a closer glance of these landwaves, you see that at least some of them have decent facial genetics underneath all that mass. And what makes me a rage is that these women have squandered this gift that they have. I see. A decent facial genetics. Because you can tell that if they lost somewhere between 50 or 100 pounds, they would at least be cute. 100.

Not 52 on the floor. I know, unfortunately. Wasted the potential. Anyway, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm too straight to look at a woman's face. Just her body. I agree with this.

But I like also, it's just like, I don't know. Skinny, skinny. What do you gonna do? Either go out the tits in the ass or not. What the face, I don't know. Skinny skinny, what do you do? You either got the tits in the ass or not. And what the face, I don't know. What am I? Face man over here? He says too many negatives that go along with it.

Yeah, right. Yeah, that's where the mouth. That's what it is. Okay, here's finger pain. Hey, Dick. So, I owe you an apology. I voted down your finger pain problem. Fuck you.

And just now it worked. I hope your fingers get trapped. It's what happened. And then my fingers started to hurt and I did them. And they heard for like 15 minutes afterwards. Yeah. What was he doing? But I voted your problem down before.

But you know, I've got struck him down. I good voted up once to take away the negative and I'd go to it up again. Put it into the. It should have been. Oh, no, it's not how we go works. I won. One vote.

And Vito, I hope you've been behaving yourself. Bye. Nice of him. And Vito, I hope you've been behaving yourself. Thank you. Good bye. Nice of him. Yeah, vote up, finger pain. Don't vote it down. It's not just old people that get finger pain just because I happen to do things with my hands.

Not just watching the office all day on TV, like all of you who are voting it down, watching the office and just jacking off. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Okay. You know what the fuck makes me way fucking rage? Is this fucking culture where like, you know, it starts with like, can girls and shit where they're like oh you've met wish list here's my fucking dying y'all these things on Amazon oh you know and like obviously you're expected to buy the fucking laundry it's just so they can wear it at least see and then you get off and the fact that you bought that shit for them that's the

same shit that happens with fucking podcasts with all these fucking nerds sending the host fucking gifts It's like dude. You get to hear why are you sending the host fucking? Yes, I like yes, I'm making a good amount of money You don't have to sell them. Yes. Just to fucking appeal them Little gifts and now they get to wear and have it forever and they'll think of me dude to do because they

have been Definitely else included. So open some gifts right here. Looey good. I do it's an official dick show. I've been meaning to open this one first of all, by the way. I'm front of me fucking forever. Don't fucking fit in. Never expect gifts, but I appreciate them.

There's about your cocks in here. Yeah, it's Bayley's. What's your problem with people having gifts? Jesus Christ. I don't know, man, if that's how, if deal. That's how some people want to show that the show means something to them. I think it's great. Me too. It's a nice little picture that Raj, you're strong for us. You're Dick Bayley's. For the win also have a trash spoon. I heart of Sean. Love Raj. XXXXX.

Yeah, have a nice refreshing glass of Baileys. Baileys the coffee la cour, right? Baileys is Irish cream. Oh, yeah. Caluah is coffee la cour. Baileys, same kind of taste. No. Irish car bomb, is that Baileys?

Not a lot. Yeah, but you also put Irish whiskey in it. You're supposed to. Here's the spoon, fucking Him Palace. Oh, cool. Very cool. Thank you. Thank you, Rosh. Do you want any of these cocks?

I will take all of them. Please. Found this in my dad's stuff. Thought you'd enjoy it one way or the other Aaron. That's who sent the naked yoga. Dude, Pilates. Hot damn. Well, go shove a camera up your ass and go do it.

I can't tell me to knock it, dude, like a workout video. Yeah. You're gonna work by that. Yeah, they probably have a They're gonna be your thing. Get around Peloton. Mm. Right? There you go.

All right, bye. Everyone, thanks. Thank you. Go wash your eyes. Ha-ha-ha-ha.