The Dick Show - Episode 283 - Dick on Fat Body Erasure

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

Right-clicking NFTs and other FUD, Tess Holiday fights fat body erasure by wearing the world's unluckiest bikini, my dog is sexually harassed at the park, Chris the Kiwi meets an autistic escort and gets reviewed, most college applicants lie about their race, inflation hits strip clubs, a citizen journalist is raided by the FBI, and the Lego "ox" collection; all that and more this week on The Dick show!

This color makes me look fat, I think. Yeah. Don't you think? Don't I look a little fat? I mean, this color of skin. Um, I don't know. I don't know if it... I don't know.

Cameras do. Cameras make people look fat. And I got about four cameras in here on me, so... That's true. Extra fat. Yeah, they're just even... Even if they're not on. Extra fat. Yeah, they're just even, yeah. Even if they're not on you. Yeah.

They don't just think of hoots. You listen to women nowadays, the camera adds 150 pounds. I've heard that. Yeah, yeah. I've heard that. He used to say 10 pounds, 150 now. Wow. Yeah, I've been working on He used to say 10 pounds, 150 now. Wow.

I've been working on that last 150 pounds for so long. I ate a pizza after last week's show. Oh, you did. Yeah, I put a little come on it. You know, it's, who know? It's the new thing. Yeah. It's all, what are fun, you know, tomato pie out here is offering, you know,

it gets a secret menu. You can't order you know, you can get the secret menu. You can't order it out. They can't put sea meat on the menu. Yeah, they put animal style. Don't get it mixed, don't get them mixed up. Yeah, yeah. Make sure you're at the right restaurant. Normal style.

That's funny. Oh no, I got my, in an out secret menu mixed up with my two boot secret menu. And I got come all over everything. Yeah. Yeah. Two boots. Somebody pointed out how much I love that guy, the furry guys, Com Pizza story.

He just likes it so it's like, I know. It's like Emperor Palpatine, but eating Com Pizza. He's just likes being bad so much. It's hard not to love them. I know, no, I was, I could have talked to him for another hour. Yeah, I really could have. Just go, man, you're just fucking out there.

I wanna meet his parents. I wanna move them in. I wanna learn his habits. Right. Oh my god. Where did he defile the taste for it is what I- How did he know? Yeah, how did it right? Because we all have that one accidental shot, right? Well, he tried it on. Oh,

shit. He tried it on himself. Yeah. He tried it on himself. First, right, right. Uh, I feel like there's like multiple. Did he also find out that he likes dog cookie cookie? You can't even say it. Oh, I was really going to gag. I got a potato chip right in my throat. So it's gotta soak that thing and come. Get it back. Let's see, I mean, I don't know if fucking you can nubas on board with this shit. Disavow.

Disavow. Disavow. Every pet food company tripping over themselves to tweet about. Purine has got to be too not want come on our dog food. Damn it. An army of lawyers. Yeah, exactly.

It's probably, if you go on like WebMD, there's probably a drug interaction warning. Yeah. You know, every food company has a lineup and put out a warning for that one guy. We disavow. Burger King. We disavow. We stand for Black Lives Matters, not come on food. Everyone knows that.

Right. Sesame Street. Did you see the Sesame Street propaganda? No. All the Sesame's are treating it up to talk about the vaccine. Like, they all have some cute ass. Oh, really? Yeah, big birds.

Like, my wing, my wing's a little sore, right? And Elmo's like, haha, I fucking love keeping safe, right? Yeah, count. Cause it's a three thousand forty one days to flatten the curve. Uh, unless we get the vaccine, but you know what? And you know what? You're really talking about flattening the curve. And I made that point.

That's funny. That was the joke. The third one is always a joke. I got it. Well, you know, you never know. You never know. You never know. That's a thing.

I haven't seen it. So I was going to be all pissed off about it, you never know. You never know. You never know. That's the thing. I haven't seen it. So I was gonna be all pissed off about it, right? Yeah. I'm like, how the fuck can they do? So I can't have Joe Camel. I can't have a guy with a pussy for a mouth selling these cigarettes. Yeah. But you get to have big birds selling vaccines to kids.

Okay. Right. And I was gonna be all pissed off about it, right? The thing is, the kids can't go in and keep buying vaccines because they're hooked. You don't know that. Ha ha ha ha. I feel safe with that assumption.

One, unexplainable case of myocardia in children under 12. Uh uh uh, two cases of myocardia. And explain myocarditis. Carditis, uh uh uh, he Uh, uh, he doesn't know. Count doesn't know. But that's okay. He can count. That's his thing.

Do you know his name is Count Von Count? No, I did not. First name is named Count as well. He's Count Von Count. Yeah. Kind of dumb. Should just be the Count. Yeah.

Well, I mean the Count. Well, which is, but isn't that, uh, isn't that what everybody calls him, but then they say, they'll say if they're familiar with them't that what everybody calls him, but then they say, they'll say, if they're familiar with them, then they'll say, count, right? See, I always thought that he was the count. I always got this impression that like the Sesame Streets don't say his name, like they're afraid to talk about him. I don't know why.

I got this impression as a kid that like no one talks about the count, no one deals with him, because they don't want him around fucking counting. They don't, wait, he's fucking psychotic malevolence that he has. He's always by himself, isn't he? Yes. And they never talked about him or to him or reference him. Do they ever together? I mean, he's had to do scenes with other,

with other, with other young bad guy. I think he is a bad guy. I always got the impression that there was something off about him. Right. Me too. Like, you're not sure whether, you know, he lives in that spooky castle

and they're like lightning strikes or you know, you hear like thunder and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So he didn't weigh in on the vaccine. I guess the count doesn't have the, the, well, he's a vampire. He doesn't, I mean,

he doesn't have blood. Yeah. What does he care? I mean, he doesn't want AIDS and he probably doesn't want it in your blood. He's like, I want a fucking drink blood that's all glued up with fucking vaccines and whatever this says of floating around

legless, what a coronavirus is in. But you know what? So I was already to be pissed off like everybody else. I call the right wing. Right wing, grift squad, assemble. That's what me street is. Touting the vaccine. All right, boys, we gotta get in, we gotta squad, assemble. That's what me street is, touting the vaccine. All right, boys, we gotta get in, we gotta get in hard.

Let's roll. Let's roll. Yeah. Temple, you point out the hypocrisy. Uh huh. Micokata, you point about, you do something about family. Okay, boys, are you ready? We've got this.

Right. I'll be drunk. Got it. Together. The most important job. We are. Yeah. I'll raise white men. Shhh. Very good. You. Most important job. We are. Yeah. Outraged white men. Shhh.

Very good. You know what you said? No, that was all off the top of my head. That's good. The, the, the, the grift of tears, the racketeers probably. Cause like rack, racketeers. The racketeers. Yeah, okay.

Anyway, I'm all set to be pissed off. Huh. And you know what they do? What? They don't do my man Oscar the Grouch dirty. Oh really? Yeah. He says he was disappointed to learn that it won't make you grouchy, but it might make you soar and tired. So at least there's that right out of his pop of mouth. Yeah. He's pro vaccine. That's, you know what? That's true to, you know,

that's the best you can ask for a shot. Honestly, Oscar's got saying, you know what, that's true to, you know, that's the best you can ask for to. Honestly, I was gonna say, you know what, I'm pissed off that it's gonna kill you. I'm favorite. Me too. Yeah. I just let, yeah, he could have said COVID makes me grouchy. So I'm glad that everyone, all these kids are getting a heart attack serum. You know, he could have said, I'm so I'm glad everyone's getting a vaccine, but he said, I'm disappointed to learn that it doesn't make you grouchy, but at least it will make, might make you sick and tired. Yeah. So he's well-guarded. Full grouch. Yeah, but it might make you sick and tired. So that's so at least there's that. I said, you know what? That's his bright side. I can't. You gave the kids an out. If I was a kid,

seeing that, I would say, Oscars telling me something without, Oscars blinking SOS to me right now. He's a hell-husted, yeah. He's being held hostage by a big pharma, I could tell. He's blinking it to me, something about soaring tired, I would have put that together as a kid, and I'd say, hell no!

Somebody's in the bottom of a, somebody's in the bottom of his trash can with a needle held to his ass. Yeah, right. We're gonna inject you with the sheet unless you say something. Don't you get too fucking cute with me, Oscar. As far as you go, grouch. I've got the needle all the way through my arm.

All right, let's start the show. I love Oscar. He totally gets it. Fanny Megetto anymore, and he's still miserable. He's the only one who is actually a realist. Yeah, he's the only real person on that show. Yeah. How, what were you, you wanted to get into, you wanted to get into, you got us the show

right? The contest gave me a lot of fun. You're deep in the heart of the city failure. I mean, how's the $20 million dollar man? I don't know how to do without the world's worst Mexican. Joining me is always this world touring LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. What's up, buddy? Now, why don't you do the world's worst Mexican?

Because we did the science-mashing thing. We totally stumped the trans movement. Oh. Mostly Vito did it, but I was there being a good cameraman. Well, I mean, no longer the worst Mexican. You were there getting full-on assaulted, assaulted by white people. Yeah.

That's why. So you're not doing it anymore. Gotcha. Are you gonna talk about that? I don't have anything else to share. After the rooftop Korean came in, and the Come Pizza Guide came in, I don't have anything to add at the moment.

Other than my head still hurts, I got no new developments for you. I'll be damned. I got to follow up on the cops like a clingy girlfriend. I guess, until maybe they do something you. I'll be damned. I got to follow up on the cops like a clingy girlfriend. I guess until maybe they do something, but I don't know. Well, I think it was Tony, right? Yeah, Tony, the rooftop Korean.

Who, it turns out wasn't a rooftop Korean. Well, he's too young. Yeah. His dad was. He was like 19. He was 19. He was a, he was a street top Korean. Yeah. He drove around flashing pieces. I just wanted, I wanted him to be one of the guys on the roof. Oh yeah, we all wanted that.

That's what I wanted. We all wanted that. But whatever. I mean, close enough. If his guy started getting picked off, he would have gone up there. He's closer than you and I was to being a rooftop Korean. Of course he was.

He's Korean. Right, he could be in Korean be closer to being a rooftop Korean than us. Well, I get it. You know, first things first, but I think he was right when he said, you know, things, things move slow. And yeah, and I'm not talking about just the cops because they may not move at all.

Yeah, unless you, like you said, you know, go on and listen weed. Right. He also was smoking some weed. Exactly. Oh, really. Oh, really? But I think Netflix will fire Joe. And I think that, and I think they're so entertainment companies, studios, they are so scared of lawsuits and bad PR that they are triple checking, dotting their eyes, crossing their teeth. I think they want to make sure that it is iron clad before they get rid of them because I can't believe that they would keep somebody who's on film assaulting two people, one

of which escalated into a very serious situation. And I know those things, I know those things move slowly with giant companies like that. Yeah. Well, I'll see. I don't want to think about it today. All right. It's out of my mind. What I want to think about is premature E-traculation. Okay. I know what that is. That's my problem from the biggest problem episode this week. Well, I have an idea. I mean, I have an. When they send you the notification email that your shipment has shipped and you click on the tracking and it loads the page

and it says the shit hasn't, we have not received the thing yet but the label has been printed and you think why the fuck did you, that's the name, premature, e-traculation. That's good. I couldn't think of it during the show, but there it is.

So go to biggestproblem.show. Yeah. Have you got your NFT shopping for Christmas, done yet? No. Well, you better get started, John. Okay. Those NFTs aren't, they're not going to be there for, they're not just being created endlessly.

Mm-hmm. An endless cycle of trash. Mm-hmm. You got to get the good ones for the kids. That's all I'm getting anybody this year. NFTs. NFTs. Okay.

Because of the, because they're so special. Everyone, everyone, girlfriend, everybody's getting a stone toss, NFT for Christmas. Well, they're just on the daily creating the digital bonus Wagner baseball card. You know, okay, right? You know what, fucking drives me. So I actually love NFTs. I need a grade. on the daily creating the digital bonus Wagner baseball card. You know, okay, right? You know what fucking drives me? So I actually love NFTs. I did it great.

Digital ownership. Yeah. The cute assholes who say, oh, can you just screenshot it? Can you, well, NFTs, what it look at me? I'm still, I'm right clicking and going, save as what now. Like do you guys think that you can't take a picture of the Mona Lisa? What do you think that this is new that are coming up with?

Oh, check it out. I'm stealing this part by right clicking and saying, yeah, you can always, you can, you can repaint it too. It's not the same. We have this weird concept of the thingness of a thing and that being important and now that's moving into the digital age and being tracked electronically and cryptographically without needing this gigantic trillion dollar wasteful banking and finance sector to lug along with it.

Do you not understand that part? You fud mother fuckers, you fucking idiots, oh NFTs, I'll just right click and save. You could have, you could have just remembered it. Like, that's the same. Do you understand that you remembering what you were just looking at is basically like a non-computer way of right clicking and saving? It was never about the right clicking and saving.

You stupid fuck, stop saying that. It's true, I don't know, it's like NFTs, it's like I've captured it. Huh, I just't know. It's like, I've captured it. I just copied it. But I've, you could've always done that, bro. I've captured it, it's mine now. It's like a thing, I don't know. It's like a scorekeeping thing or something.

Like I've captured, I checked that off my bucket list. I don't know. Do you think that like Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie cards are not just copies of each other that they unleashed out upon the world? And you know, you could just make those again, right? You know that this concept of going around the thingness of the thing and making it not trying to make it non-unique

has always been possible to do. Sure. You idiot. Yeah. You dumps, you poor staying motherfucker. Shut the fuck up with your NFT fud. Mm. They're fun and they're great.

Sure. That's what everyone's getting for Christmas. A ranch. Stone toss. NFTs. What's Stone toss? Stone toss is an artist. They're famous, very famous artists.

The guy with the white heads. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Nice doing an NFT thing into the month. All right, you're getting one, too. Everybody's getting a Stone Toss NFT for Christmas. Awesome. And that's it. I'll tell you what else?

Makes me rage. I'm a little winded after that one. I'm just, I'm not the same. Yeah, you're really going for even one. I realized just a quick, quick aside on that. Go ahead. It's exactly, I realized just like 10 years ago or so when I was in, it's not an exact parallel, but when I realized that I was, I was taking video of a blue whale.

Yeah, where? We're at a whale watch out at a long beach. Just like, over the water. No, like, we went, blue whale. Yeah, where? Whale watch out at a long beach. Just like of the water. No, like we went blue whale watching. Of a whale in the water? Yeah, it was like this incredible. It was like it said it's it was right across the bow of the boat. Yeah, that's cool.

It was fucking crazy, largest animal that they figure to have ever lived. Biggest penis. Yeah, exactly. Ever to have lived. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and the heart weighs as much as a small car. But it's got to be to power that penis.

I looked and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? It's exactly, I think I've said that before. What the fuck am I doing? I'm going to show this to somebody on my phone. They're going to go like, wow, I have no idea the glandure and the majesty of this fucking animal. And look at this. You captured it perfectly.

Yeah. Amazing. On a shitty iPhone 6 or whatever. No, at this. You captured it perfectly. Amazing. On a shitty iPhone 6 or whatever. No, you don't have an iPhone 6. I think I still do, yeah. Oh, how can they still even repair that? You're gonna be repairing it with toothpaste like Cuba. It's not gonna work after the first of the year, I think. I'm just turning it off.

Apple's saying now we're shutting this shit down. I don't have to go to Apple China. Change devices with somebody over there. I don't know. My parents have better phones than that. I know, I've just had to do it. I'm lazy. How fucking lazy do you have to be?

They're not allowed to come out and replace it in your sleep by force. I don't know. I thought girlfriends did that. These are supposed to. Well, no, they just replaced their own. Maybe it's a seven, I can't remember, but something. For your sake, I hope it's a seven.

We'll call it a seven, but yeah. I have a better phone than that. I have a better burner phone than that. You probably do. You probably do. I don't know, man. I get on the internet. I don't know.

I don't know. Can you even get, did some emails not show up right for you? Does like, my attachment or something? No, everything shows up fine. Everything shows up fine. Does it unscroll? Unscroll? Yeah, like a parchment.

You know, like they coded it to be old-timey. That's what I'm saying. Oh, God, I got it. Unvote, it's the papyrus app or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So you've taken pictures of whales. Well, I realized just, and in the moment how stupid that was,

like look at the fucking thing. Yeah, remember, that's right clicking and saving ads, an actual NFT, a real experience. So, you're just gonna take a picture of it? No, because it's not the fucking same. Do you not, do you, idiots not get that?

Stay poor. Don't care. Stay poor. Stay poor. I read something like good. I tried to help. Oh, man, you're gonna get, Sean, you're not get that? Stay poor. Don't care. Stay poor. Stay poor. I read something like, I tried to help. Oh man, you're going to get, Sean, you're going to get this stunt, you're going to look at it every day.

Just don't toss NFT. Sure, sure. My size, it, and that's my beautiful. Because the sky's the limit on the value of these things. Okay. You buy an NFT today for a hundred bucks. Tomorrow, it's worth $10 million. Well, there's already been crazy fucking appreciation on certain NBA things and stuff where

it's fucking nuts. They were really, as far as the sports leagues and stuff, they were on board super fucking early. Literally as soon as I heard the term NFT, where somebody just, I was like, nice fucking tips. That's what I hear. Yeah, and at first I was like, well, think of it as like a,

you know, think of it as like a, like a, like a, like a digital, you know, card or something, but it's like, it's, it's unique. Yeah. And it's like, card people get it right away. Yeah. We just right click and save it.

Well, I mean, you could just photocopy a hoenish Wagner. It's not just fucking something. You, you stupid pleb, plebian idiot. Yeah. Plebian idiot. And as soon as I heard that, I was like, oh, the NBA is doing this. Start hearing it everywhere. You know, speaking of huge penises,

like the whale that you were talking about. Yeah. Metalverse, here's an update app for you from the bonus episode. The Metalverse. Not the Metaverse. The Metalverse sucks. The Metaverse is dumb.

You're not gonna be able to do anything fun on it. Okay. I mean, let's be honest. Sure. If you so much is think about like a guy getting kicked in the nuts or something or a guy, like if you have an avatar and you're like, well, let's put a dress on it. How that's hilarious band.

You're banned from the metaverse. The metaverse, however, is good stuff you want to do in VR. Big penis simulator. How about that? So you throw the goggles on. You go to take in VR. Big penis simulator. How about that? So you throw the goggles on, you go to take a piss and you look down. Whoa, gigantic winner. Yeah.

Right? Sure, why not? You're banging your girlfriend? You can do this stuff in real life. You just put the headset on. It goes with you. So you're looking at everything the same, but every time your winner comes out, massive winner.

Okay, good. The penis simulator. Why not? Why not indeed? Well, I mean, somebody's got that in the works, don't they? I mean, they probably not. Really? They just have stupid stuff, like trying to make you,

trying to make everyone look like a dumpy lesbian. That's the avatars in the metaverse. Everybody just looks like a dumpy. Everybody's shaped like a bowling pin. Yeah. That's unfortunate. That is unfortunate. I know. Okay. Here's what also makes me rage is my dog getting gang raped at the park. Oh, really? I mean, you would think both you would think that adults understand that the dogs trying to fuck the other dog and that just like going, oh, oh, don't do that. Dude, it's not gonna work.

People don't care. They just, they think like the park on you? The park is the babysitter. Yeah. They can just fuck around on their phone. And you know, people just let their shit do whatever. It's like a misbehaving child is like, would you let your kid run all over the restaurant going up to people's tables,

putting their hands in their food, taking their big red rockets. Put it all over. Yeah, your stuff's the same fucking thing. All over your spaghetti, wiggling that big red dog, red rocket all over your bed of chini, right? Their VR goggles, it looks like a snake,

like a big red snake. Would they let that happen? Big old dog weener? I mean, to a lesser extent, those same people with kids probably do. But I know, it's just like, oh, dogs, I'll work it out. I don't know if I have like the windy woppers of dogs,

like the most desirable dog on the planet. There's something, but every fuck, every Saturday, Saturdays are when the, is she spade? No, they said not to do that for like 18 months or something like that. Yeah, well, only have periods twice a year, but especially males.

Especially males, people like, because they need, well, they need the growth hormone and they need the testosterone to inject them. Otherwise, they're, I mean, I guess you could, but nature the growth hormone. They need the testosterone to, because they'll inject otherwise there, I mean, I guess you could, but nature would do it. Their bones don't grow right. I mean, I'm going to beef this bitch up. I'm going to beef Maddie up and give her testosterone.

She's going to be like a East German weightlifter when I get done. Yeah. Be fucking ripped like a Chinese swimmer. Ready to power lift. Yeah. I hadn't heard that long for females, but well, no, I'll leave the girlfriends in charge of it. Sure. But anyway, you take it to the park,

especially on Saturday, where this fucking Saturday crowd is out. You take them during the week, and it's just a bunch of housewives who are great at being super worried about everything and on top of everything, that's their job. Well, I'm sure you've gone the weekend, it's guys on their phone, fucking around. What, they can't even discipline themselves, right?

This girl, my dog, is getting fucking piramitted on both sides. Yeah. And these guys and lady are, oh, oh, stop, stop. Like, what are you doing, oh, stop. You get a rip, what are you talking? Has this, pyramid on both sides?

So the dog's getting spit roasted. Yeah, my dog's getting ifled towered. Like, this dogs are high-fiving each other. I'm like, oh, this isn't, this is enough of this. It's fiving each other. Just trying to jump out of, jump on top of me to get away from all this dog dick. Yeah. It's insulting her from all sides. Yeah. of me to get away from all this dog dick. Yeah.

It's assaulting her from all sides. Yeah. Like, okay, pull the dog, they pull the dog away about 10 feet. Yeah. Oh, that's gonna learn it. Oh, you got it, buddy. Yeah.

Nailed it. What do you know? Like a fucking rocket. Next second, boom, wiener. Yeah. Fucking, now she's got wiener all over the face and I'm like, kinda petter. I think it's all right. I'm like, come, now you got wiener her all over the face and I'm like, kinda, it's better, I think it's all right.

So I'm like, come, now you got ween or juice all over my hand. Not cool. Get the fucking dog, get it out of here. Like take it over to a corner of the park. Do something. Take it over the corner of the park and jerk it off, Jesus Christ. You see that South Park episode?

Yeah. So how to? Let's get some kind of a dog that, a fleshlider is something Tengu, that they can get it out on. So I don? Let's get some kind of a dog that a fleshlight or something tengu that they can get it out on. So I don't have to deal with this shit. It's payback. It's payback, secretly. It's payback. Yeah. For all the sex, testing that I've done my whole life. That's what it is. It's payback for that. Right. It's revisited upon your family.

Fucking dog. Big weener simulator. Big weener simulator. Sure. People would live in that thing like Harry Potter's, who doesn't want that? Mirror. Right.

Even women, they could have a big weener simulator since that's what would fix their brains. That's all they want, their whole life. Let me just have that weener for a moment. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So everything we got to tittle it,

we got to tease them and tittle it with cars that are weiner shaped and ties that are weiner looking to always engage their weiner lust that they want to have. The weiner lust. They don't want your weiner. They want their own. Better than yours. Better the hog.

Better than yours. Definitely best the best ever. The best the best weiner ever. Works every time. Yeah. Um, you know, would you would you settle down if you had a better weener than me? Yeah, I want every listener. I want every listener to you go over. Down. Yeah. Turn to yeah. Look, would you just show out if you had a better weener than me? I've noticed you have been absolutely insufferable lately. You're busted my balls as soon as I walk in the fucking door.

Hey, can you, I still have another foot to get in the door. Yeah, would you, would you make you feel better if you had a better wiener than me? Here, let me strap this shit on your head. It doesn't matter where it is. Yeah. Premature retraculation. Premature retraculation, I like it. Doesn't matter what it is. Yeah. Premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation, I like it.

It's great. I'm a sucker for those kind of like, like, punny titles. What else do I have here? Let's see, 20 bucks, inflation's hitting hard. That's another reason why no one's getting presents this year, except for NFTs. I'm excuse me, everyone's getting better presents.

Have you finished your Christmas NFTs shopping? That's what it why no one's getting presents this year, except for NFTs. I'm, excuse me, everyone's getting better presents. Have you finished, have you finished your Christmas NFT shopping? That's what it is for men. Guys, aren't you sick of going to the mall and getting a bunch of shit for your girlfriend and your family? And they're not getting you as, and there's presents they get you don't add up to the money amount that you spent on their presents, by the way. Get an NFT weiner. Get an NFT weiner.

Genuine NFT by debirs. We could do, we could NFT all the jazz from the show. Two month salary. Two month salary. Did you spend two month salary on your wife's NFT ring that you got her? Cause she could just right click it, you know. Exactly.

She'll yell at you for spending that much. You know, you could just right click this. Yeah, it drives me insane. I'm like, get people. Yeah. I was like, what, do you know how, do you know how many workarounds there are in life to what you're describing?

This is Diamond Ray and costs 30 grand. Oh, you can just make a perfect one in a lab for like a hundred bucks. Yeah, but people don't. Yeah. If you don't, if you get that, they don't. I know. You get that? They don't. You're the weird one here.

Um, inflation's hitting pretty hard. $20, $20 a drink last night. I know. That's wild. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

I don't think I could afford to drink anymore. Not and go out. Yeah, really? That wouldn't be going out. I mean, it's getting to the point where it lickers to every other drug's cheaper than liquor. And that's why liquor's legal. So you can sit there and buy it all night.

Right. And they can. Every other drug. Taxi-one, two, fuck on it. I'm great. Yeah. Done. How much did that cost me tonight? Oh, $3. Oh yeah, I'll take that one.

Yeah. Oh, and there's no like overdosing of it. Cause only took one. Oh, yeah, great. That's crazy. That's crazy when you could go for like a decent night out and literally spend 120, 140 bucks on just yourself drinking all night. Because I know, I mean, I know when you, I would do the same thing. Like if you go out and you're drinking scotch, I mean, dude, you could have four, five glasses easy, right? I mean, in the period of hours, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Think how much you're gonna fucking, you're gonna spend, that's a hundred bucks.

No tips. Just on you. Lap dances 30 bucks. This stripper says to me, 30 bucks. Oh, they always used to be two and a half. Yeah, 30 bucks. Like forever. Get out of here. Go home. Get on only fat 30 bucks. Oh, they always used to be too. Yeah, 30 bucks. Like forever. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Come home. Get on only fint 30 bucks. A lap dance. You expect me to lose two 20s? You're dreaming. That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. 20 fine. That's

just a token. That's a life token, the $20 bill. That's the let life token. That's the life of the casino of life. $30? No. Is that the Tubman that they're talking about? Are they gonna make a $30 bill for this new inflation era? The Tubman. Just only taking its strip clubs. Yeah, $30. The Tubman.

I was excited about it. I wanted the Tubman to be on the 20. Yeah. I don't want to end you Jackson on there. Yeah, they were talking hated banks. Yeah, it's not Disrespectful. Yeah, I I always gouge out all the eyes on it Andrew Jackson's on my 20s Oh, you do he would have wanted it that way. Yeah, okay. Sure. I was like a yeah, no nothing's happening with that is it? No, yeah, no, I remember a of years ago, that was a thing. Well, you know, Sean, when it comes to promoting the black experience and struggle and making

it easy for black people, you know, it's put it on the money. Yeah, putting Harriet Tubman on the money, it would have done a lot for black people. So we'll get there eventually. Right. Maybe in 50 years, we can get Harriet Tubman, fucking Harriet Tubman on the $600 bill. Well, then what will they have to complain about? Right, exactly. Faces everything.

I actually have an article, I have notes for the show, I just don't use them anymore. Bill, who cares? Black Lives Matter Plaza is now a permanent fixture of DC's streetscape. This is Washington, DC. Yeah, sure. The mural painted on the stretch of 16th street northwest between K and H streets, amazing, thank you.

Was the site of racial justice protests, which inspired the 48 foot monument. They wrote Black Lives Matters on the street, right? Yeah. The construction project kicked off in July with five million bucks, pedestrians can now stroll through a walkway that runs down the center.

Blah blah blah. The plaza was paved over in May. Oh, so it got paved over for the street, got paved over. But then the city, they made it permanent. And they're spending another $3 million for benches and lighting. So that's permanent now. DC, so it seems like a place to attract tourists and then like fucking, you know, mug them or something.

So you have the center of the government, like Washington, DC's not, you know, people who live there, like that's, that's pretty high crime area. There's a lot of people working. I mean, I don't know why. I'm not, I mean, I'm just saying, it's if you're living in DC, I think you're probably pretty poor. I think people live in like, and you're not allowed to live in a politician. Well, no, but I mean, though, even those people, they live outside. Right. Okay. They come in. Okay. I see what you're saying. People who like permanently live in DC, I don't think DC, I don't think there's many They live outside. Right. Okay. They come in. Okay.

I see what you're saying. People who like permanently live in DC, I don't think DC, I don't think there's many neighborhoods in DC that are, so they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half.

So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half.

So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a half. So they spend a year and a can go and he got a year and a half to figure out how our lives matter like decriminalizing weed because so many of dad's black dads are in jail for right? Yeah. Let's start young men, they're in young black men are in jail for fucking drug crimes, the white people that powering the industry of hedonism advice that white people enjoy, but black people get suffer. Right. You got a whole year and a half to figure to just face that one. And they still let it get paved over. And they

figured out in a year and a half, well, we got to make this sign permanent. Yeah. But there we go. Not surprising in the least. We did it. That's exactly. I know you were, I know you were worried that we would let this message fade, but don't worry. Yeah. We made it permanent. Well, look, did you hear a little couple of quotes from James Carville? No. He was like a Democrat, Democrat. I think he's getting too woke, I think. Well, he said he'd go like woke fantasy. Well, woke detox. Yeah, he's like, it should be about changing laws, not dictionaries. And of course, he got like slapback, but it's exactly. Yeah.

This is the same guy who said if Hillary Clinton would give Barack Obama one of her balls they'd each have to. You know, like he just, it's like he's not dictionary. He's like, look, do you guys want to fucking win or not? What do you want to, you want a giant mural? It says black lives matter. Do you want to, you want a giant mural? It says Black Lives Matter. Do you want to give Black people out of fucking prison? You're not doing anything wrong with you.

You know, it's about changing laws, not dictionaries. It's like, yeah, this is obvious to like anyone who's been around and like sees the bigger picture, but no, man, changing dictionaries and, you know, you know, scholastic, you know work is, that seems to be the most important thing. It's fucking ridiculous. You're not doing anything except pissing people off. People are in fucking prison. I don't know. I got to imagine everyone gets tired of me talking about

the negative effects of the drug war on black people on everyone, but especially black people, but for God's sake, we spend how much time talking about black lives matter and you didn't get that one, you didn't get that one component of it. Like Jesus Christ just make it legal. Fuck, we don't need a mural, just let him out of prison,

let people do drugs. Let every make bodily autonomy. Kids see their fucking parents. Make, unite them. Drugs, suicide, abortion, and there's another, there's another big one too. I forget what it is. Make them all one inalienable, right?

And you have it, no matter what. And I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's the way it is, because it's all the fucking same. $30 dollar lap dance. I mean, Jesus Christ. Talk about a real crime. I'd ask if you'd buy me dinner first

before you fucked me, but how much would that cost? Here's another one. So the Uber, this is a fucking scam of scams. Maybe it's an LA specific problem, but Uber, since unemployment happened, Uber is just impossible to get anymore. Yeah. I mean, or to the Uber, I'll be there next week. Now, what? You would think that a lot of people would do Uber. If they're looking for money. Not a job.

Yeah. They don't need to, who wants to do Uber? If you're getting enough to live and eat at home. Yeah, well, I mean, so in California, I don't know even if the highest unemployment is gonna, is gonna, it's not gonna cover you problem. Yeah. Well, it got a lot more expensive.

I'll put it that way. Sure, sure. I see that. These motherfuckers, I get the Uber, says, oh, 30 minutes. Okay, 30 minutes. 15 minutes goes by. A lot.

Yeah, Guy calls me and I live up in the mountains, you know, so it's always a matter of minutes. It's always like a game of chicken with the Uber. Like, you know what I'm saying? I know it's like 20 minutes. You're gonna cancel. Oh my God, their little dot gets to the bottom of the hill and I see red fucking better now.

I'm looking at that like Edward Scissor's hands at the beginning of the movie thinking, oh, I don't wanna go up there, I wanna spook you better fucking come get me, you motherfucker. So he calls me, I think, oh, I shouldn't answer this, but I answered it anyway, dumb lady,

he goes, hey bro, so I'm here, he's the count. Ah, I have one drive to drop off before you. you But it's good deal. It's good deal. I And he says oh Oh, hey buddy, so you're my next ride After I drop this one off you have to be my next ride I'm like oh here comes a lie. Oh, yeah, cuz I'm like I don't know why I talked to so many I think because of this show I talked to so many guys I could just tell right away. I talked to so many guys, I could just tell right away,

I can feel you, I could feel you fucking prepping me for a lie. Sure, right away. So I get a lot of bad news, that's why. Yes, and I know what it is when you're getting fucking bad news delivered to you. Mm-hmm. Because oh, so my tire inflation sensor just went on.

So I have to go fill up my tire inflation sensor just went on. So I have to go fill up my tire. So I probably wouldn't be the best ride for you. What are how many times he's used that? Yeah, like, you're a fucking tire. That's never happened to anyone ever. No minutes, three minutes. Go fucking check it at the gas station around the corner. I'm like, okay, well, he's going on.

It's like, blues brother's level ran. I go like, okay, well, he's going on this like, Blues Brothers level rant. I go, you know, I got him, my wives, come on, I was gonna go home and there's locusts and all these, that's how you know when they're just, die rearing out information to make sure you know it's probably a lie. Go, yeah, oh yeah, oh that's all happening. Oh my God.

So, so you're gonna cancel the rise? Is that what you're talking about? He's not dumb about it. I mean, I can that's all happening. Oh, my God. So, so you're gonna cancel the rise? Is that what you're talking about? There's not a number out of, I mean, I can't. You can. You have to do it. Because if he cancels the right to reflect negatively on him. Yeah. Yeah.

So, you can't, cancels, no, I can't. So, if you got a car accident, if you got picked up by fucking space aliens right now, I would just be in limbo and Uber never to be able to be until I can't, is that what you're saying? You shithead. There's no way for you to do it. None at all.

Of course there is. So you want to stick me with the fucking $5 fee and go, no, you won't get a fee. Yeah. Which is not more than four miles away. Uh, if you do, I have time to argue about $5 with you. And then you just have to dispute it, and they will take it off. It's not enough, but it's like, I want them to kill that guy. But it's, yes.

But it's like, why should I even have to do that? It's worse than saying the inward, what he's doing. I think, yeah, I'm trying to draw a parallel. You think a black guy would rather be called the inward or not have five bucks? I mean, I mean, he's on the neighborhood. I don't know. Let's gamify this, right? Let's do a college milligram experiment.

We need a, here you go. You can be, we need a black guy. We need a black guy. We have to ask a black guy. I'll be there all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Here.

Yeah. Help me up. I make a rain. So I go to cancel it. Of course, $5 incidentally. God. Why do you have to go through this elaborate system of fucking lying to me? You bastard, just because.

Did you see, you know what Biden's kids need? Honestly, no jokes. I don't like to get political in the show, but just for a moment. Yes, you do. You know what they really need, Hunter? What? What? What?

Fucking dick leash. Really? Those guys can't keep track anything. Huh, okay. Hunter is laptop, leaving his laptop around. Oh, that's all that child porn or whatever he had on it. Maybe he had it on it. I don't know.

I mean, it could be anything. It could be child porn, it could be anything. Right. And then that child born, it could be anything. Right. And then that new girl, his daughter, Ashley leaves her diary in like a hotel room or something, talking about her dad taking inappropriate showers with her. You didn't see this? No.

Oh God. I mean, it's funny. Yeah. Funny because I don't like the guy, right? Like, he got her writing about inappropriate showers. I mean, but it's like, okay, you're probably don't like the guy, right? Like, who got it? Writing about inappropriate showers. I mean, but it's like, okay, you're probably a pain in the ass. Who knows? I mean, you're a weird, sniffing guy.

I don't know. You take, adults take showers with their kids and I could easily see like a woke kid making a big deal about it to get attention. How old is this kid now? I mean, nationally, they're, I mean, they're all 50s, 40s, 50s. Yeah. Who cares, who's journaling their life in a hard copy? Who's talking about that?

Has she had the same diary since she was six? I don't know. I don't know. Project Veritas had it. And they leaked it. Yeah. I think that's kind of funny, right? It's real.

Yeah. That's kind of funny, right? It's real. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's kind of funny, right? Yeah. That's kind of funny Yeah, fucking FBI raids O'Keefe's house over it over a die like this is this is the most journalism you could be is getting written documentation of a known political figure, right?

written documentation of a known political figure, right? So we have this cops for the federal government raiding a private citizen's house for doing journalism. Yeah. What the fuck? You wouldn't see that in, I mean, if Russia did that, if fucking I ran, did that. Oh, Russia does see that. Right, they do it all the fucking time,

and you think, what a nightmare. Putin legit kills people right out in the open. I get you raid someone's house enough and you kind of cross your fingers like, oh, maybe one of these dummies had a bad night and they're all hopped up on monster energy drink. Looking to be a hero, knocking in the, raiding the house of a private citizen.

Did he have the diary? I don't, I think so, I don't know. I don't know all the specifics of it. I gotta check it out. Cause it was paywall. I like that, oh, of course. Cause you like what? All that fucking art.

But I love dirt like that. Yeah, I love to see how families are all fucked up. Yeah, which actually made me like Biden more. Makes me feel like I'm gonna crack a head. Yeah, cool. Yeah. I like that, all ahead. Yeah, cool. Yeah. I like that, all right. Yeah, well, he's doing like crooked uranium shit like,

nah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I like the crack thing. That was cool. Yeah, art. Yeah, that's cool. Because now I can judge you just as a person, as a father. Yeah, and you're bad.

Yeah, right. Bad father. Yeah, sure. Daughters writing secret fucking notes about being molested in the shower. Right. I don't believe any of it. I mean, it's like whatever a bitch.

You probably just show him molested or just like I was too old to be in the shower with dad. Just inappropriate. He kept trying to bring the German Shepherd in too. It was really fucking family showers serving. Yeah. He would go in a meat locker and put a lighter on the shower system every day. Every time I ran the dog would just would just piss itself and fear. But then the fucking FBI gets involved. Yeah, sure. Stop the

FBI's got to be stopped. I mean, you can't be doing. You can't be raiding their jealous home. Over diaries of bullshit. They're just the force for whoever's fucking in charge at the time. They weren't. No, they were anti-Trump. They fucked with the force for whoever's fucking in charge at the time. They weren't, no, they were anti-Trump. They fucked with him a ton. I mean, somewhere, somewhere. They were texting about, yeah, no, that's true. That's right.

And get this, get rid of this. I'm like, what the fuck does this, this, this guy? Oh, yeah, there are definitely some people against him, yeah. Bro, in these movies, poisoned our entire generation for pro FBI and pro super cop stuff. Yeah. I don't know. We've got so much damage to fixing our brains. Starting with them, it's not, it's, we're not fixing it.

We gotta, we gotta start with them. Look, we're working on the money, we're doing a good job. All right. We're fixing the fucking money. Well, that, that, whether boomers like it or not, we're fixing their money. They're, they're a little, they're a little Ponzi scheme, printing scheme.

Yeah. He's over. We're making our own money. What kind of has to be? And you're too dumb to understand it. That's the message. Yeah. And we got to fix this other stuff too. All this crazy. Well, if you get the money straight, then that probably alleviates a lot of mental pressure on people because that is like, that's the one thing, like you just fucking have to have. And if you don't have it, your life is so many times more difficult than somebody who just has enough to pay the bills.

You don't have to pay. Forget about men or women or what's happening. Forget about somebody who's even saving. Like if you can just tread water, you're in a better boat than so many people. Yeah, dick leash. They both need a dick leash. All right, put that, put the dick leash on it.

That was from a bonus episode. I thought it was terrible and now it seems to have, now it seems to have real world applications. Put that dick leash on your diary. I guess you need a dick too, if you got a diary. Whatever, that's not my job to figure out. Hey, how come? Why come?

I have a question for you. Okay. Why come? You have to be vaccinating to get in everywhere, right? I mean, that's a lot of places are doing that. Yeah, a lot, any fun place. I can go to a crummy place. Yeah.

Why come, you don't have to be vaccinated to get welfare. Aren't those the most vulnerable people? Like, shouldn't we be protecting them the most? Yeah. So they should all have to get vaccinated to get their welfare checks, Ryan. Without me thinking about it, like that does make sense.

That makes sense. Makes sense. Sure makes sense. Right? We're doing this for kids, right? And for vulnerable people. Oh yeah, we've got to get them vaccinated. For free, obviously we'll give it to them.

Well, yeah, sure. We're gonna come to pick up your check and just have a guy hiding in the bushes, jump out. Yeah! Oscar the bushes, jump out. Yeah! Oscar the Grouch. Yeah. I mean, it's just thought. It's not a bad one.

I like to have an explanation for that. Here's something funny with the Chappelle stuff. This is, Jackal and Moore, the Netflix producer who's boycotting the stream, who Netflix over the Chappelle comedy has... Oh yeah, okay. So this was her Halloween costume. This is, I can't show this on stream

because it's too grotesque. On the left, you see this little anime girl. Yeah. That's like a famous meme. Dude, that is fucking disgusting. On the right. Okay, maybe I can show it, just for a moment. That is only for a moment.

Dude. Okay, that's it, that's enough. That's enough. Is Jacqueline trans woman? Okay, all right. So this is the right, there's something odd about this. Like, oh,. So this is the right, doesn't something odd about this? Like, oh, she's a woman, right?

Well, I mean, women don't just do that. Like, women don't put electrical tape. First of all, women are using pasties if they're dressing erratically like that. And they're also only the hottest women are throwing, unless you're Lizzo. Yeah. They're throwing pasties on and rocking

some kind of a topless outskirts. She's got fucking electrical tape. She looks like kind of a chunky river phoenix. Joaquin phoenix, excuse me. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And she's dressed up like this low five beats meme,

which is a green sweater with a little pink shirt underneath it. And then she kind of does, like she does it. Jacqueline Moore, this is the showrunner who's so offended by Chappelle. Slutty, low five girl enjoys beats to relax, study two. And then in three, in the punch, what was, what is usually the square in the comic reserved for the punch line? Yeah. You get punched.

Ha ha ha. Maybe I'll show it again for a moment. Twitter allowed it, so I should be able to allow it. Jesus. Yeah. This is the Halloween costume. Gets better, right?

Oh, does it. Yeah, here's the, she showed a, this is a, oh, this is who started all of this nonsense. Is this lady who's taken pictures of her butts in the back there, dressed up as that slutty anime? It's just like, that's a, can you say that?

This person's fucking nuts, this person's nuts, she could be nuts with anything. It doesn't have to be, I mean, even if a hot girl was trying to say, yeah, you might want to pump that you're a hot girl, you're a showrunner for, you might want to pump the brakes on, flashing your ass and your tits like that on Twitter, but whatever, it's high. This person's just nuts. They're going to create a problem no matter where they are. Yeah, no shit. But then, you know, the right-wing grift squad assembled, so you could say, oh, that's hilarious

and gross. The right-wing shows up and says, has juxtaposed an image of a child with sexual images, so they sexualized this little child meme. This is the right way in doing this. Yeah, and I think you guys are reaching. You guys are retarded. Yeah. Like, what do you, you fucking protesting for all the slutty girl scout uniforms that

broads are wearing on Halloween? How is that sexualizing children? How is that sexual in any way? Like the kid with beats. Well, they're saying because she's dressing like it and then acting sexual. Oh, sexualizing a child like in the, like you guys need to just shut the fuck up

with the child shit. Yeah. Shut up, you fucking lun, it's more offensive because this is a crazy person. Yes. And then you have what I'm saying. I'm saying what they're supposed to be thinking just they always got to have the moral high ground is so it's just I know it's just sufferable. Yeah. Just say it's gross and weird. It's gross and weird. It's the first thing I said. It's sexualizing.

No, it's not what you mean Everyone, you see a girl dressed up is like a sexy snow white. And you go, look at this fucking child sexual education that's going on. You're just, you know, she was only 14 and that's it. You're giving attention to a fucking nut case. Yeah, that's, that was a funny one. Okay.

Fucking people. Yeah. Okay. Fuckin' people. Here's a, oh, here's a, here's some good news for you. Students may sleep in their cars in Long Beach. Long Beach City. This just in. It's just in. Crime wave. Crime wave.

And the program will allow students living in their cars to say overnight in a parking structure. Oh, that's nice. You don't have to keep moving your car all night every two hours. It's hard to find, if you're sleeping in your car, if you're a student, you're paying all that money and tuition. I mean, yeah.

They'll let you sleep in the parking structure. All right, well, you know, I guess, I look at it, is it better than what they had? I mean, maybe a little. What, being able to sleep in their car as opposed to in the parking structure? Legally is better. Legally is better.

Generally speaking, legally. And they don't have to, like you said, they don't have to move it all the time, even though it'd be boring. Have to be worried. Yeah. They don't have to have a fitful night's sleep of thinking a security guard will come knock

on their window and their. That's true. You know, they can just relax. You can't go to, throw up in the back of their cyan or whatever it is, their cell and have a nice night's sleep before they wake up and go learn about

how white people are the problem, what's wrong with the world the next day. Meanwhile, the cost of college is risen at five times the rate of inflation over the last 50 years. How about that? Yeah, how are the wages compared to the rate of inflation over the last 50 years, how about that? Yeah, how are the wages compared to the rate of inflation? Real last.

Completely stagnant. That's what's funny. It turns out. Yeah. Oh God. So where's the money going? Like here. Five times.

It's going up the fucking. It's got straight to endowment. It's going down. It's going straight into endowment. Yeah, this is the system. I can't use it. Students sleeping in their car. They can't voice their how upset they are

because they'll get paid from social media. They can't say anything. They can just sleep in their car. I mean, a pod would be an upgrade at this point. You should be in your fucking car. Give me that pod. I'm ready to live in a concrete pipe that has box furniture in it that has collapsible non-sex beds in it You're getting you're getting infinite low infinity loans that you give to a college who puts it in an endowment

Endowment is used by venture capitalists to fund companies like zillow Zillow then develops and not. This is Zillow. Now Zillow owns houses there, but yeah. So Zillow, these are our houses. To buy all of the cheap houses. Billions and billions of dollars, driving up the, it's horrible.

Isn't that fucking insane? And nobody's getting hanged for it. Nobody. No, that's shot in the straight. Because people, it's a video game. Well, and yeah, you have to actually follow the money. Like it takes a little effort to see where things are going. Yeah, it does.

And just how bad you're really getting fucked. Yeah. And you want to stump you, like, well kids are getting, like, nah, I only care about the money. And you wonder what, like some people have a very bleak outlook on the future. It's because you'd have to be insane to see it any other way, the way that it is right now. Let's see here.

Oh, math. Did you see the NFL is slavering Colin Kaepernick's? No, is that, uh, what is this? Oh, yeah, I found this this week. Is this a new thing in coffins? Is this a new thing in funeral tech? The headline is East St. Louis mother charged in connection with fire, the killer five children.

Okay, so that's too bad. Mom charged in a fire that killed your children, right? Oh God, you agree. Look at those. That's bad. But then, what was not called attention to was the caskets in this funeral. Ooh. It was done by like a fuck is this?

It was done by like a local artist or something. I mean, it's like, it's like when you go to a magic mountain and you get those spray, you know, what are those called? The spray gun art, like picture of like your name and like a little brats looking doll. I was just going to say, no, I was just going to say they, it looks like packaging. Yeah your name and like a little brats looking doll. I was just gonna say, oh, I was just gonna say they look like packaging. Yeah, it looks like packaging. It's like packaging for like a fucking brats doll or something. And like coffin is like shrink wrapped with a gigantic picture of the kid and then weird cloud rainbow cloud imagery

That's like half my little pony and half Paw Patrol, but it's not using any licensed properties, of course. Dude, the caskets are all arranged like a Lionel train. What the fuck is this? And nobody's laughing about this? I mean, my line was mother charged and fire that killed, but you've got Tonka trucks as a fucking casket. That's really, I don't know why I saw this in the morning.

I said, I'm not for today. That's it. Look at this. I know. Can I zoom in on it? Oh my God, Sean, bury me in one of these. Bury me in a used one, please. Look at this.

It's too horrifying to be sad. Or is it? This is the final boss. Well, you're like, wow, that's, I mean, that was a kid. I know. That was a kid. It's such a, is the coffin decorated. I, you're like, wow, that's, I mean, that was a kid. I know. That was a kid. It's such a, I know, I know, I know.

Why, is it, there's the coffin shrink wrap with butterflies and sheds. Is it shrink wrapped? It's gotta be the best way to apply as a post holistic art. Like a shrink wrap a car. You're not gonna paint that on the fucking cask and be like, too expensive.

Yeah, they do bus wraps and yeah. This is a Photoshop job. I know I can't. No, I mean, I'd say that, that's the effect of the mother killed those kids. It seems like, right? But, have you ever seen a coffin like that? No.

No, but I know what I'm gonna set aside for. You want a coffin like that? Just like that. Yeah, right? Cool. Yeah, man, that's, that's sad. I know you can do this. That's not this one in funeral people.

They're holding out on us. I didn't know you could shrink, rap my coffin. Shit, I'm dying tomorrow. It's a new MTV show. Isn't it? My coffin. Yeah. Shrink, rap my coffin. Honestly, coffin. Yeah. Shringrad my coffin.

Honestly, should. Yeah. Like, rich guys like setting up their afterlife like a zero is this my mazzolium. Yo, yo, yo, I got my Xbox. I'll set up in here. I got my games playing. East Coast West Coast War was going full swing like they should have been around. You know, you got to be prepping, you know, if you're involved in that.

So that would have been the time to do it. We missed it by 25 years or so, but oh, oh, wow. Oh God. He believed that. I didn't do that. What is she? So they said, did she, let's try to burn something down for, I don't know.

I didn't read the story. I just saw those preposterous coffins. How could you, what the fuck? What if, how could you just wake up? How come? How long was I out? We'reosterous coffins. How could you, what the fuck, what if, how could you just wake up from a coma? How long was I out? We're shrink wrapping coffins now? Yeah. Okay.

Why was I not made aware of this? Yeah. Oh, that's all I can think of now. I want somebody to die. Let's shrink wrap this coffin, man. I don't know what you're doing. I'm sure you could do that. That's how that's the ultimate fuck your buddy.

Yeah, find the worst picture of him. Right. Smoking 50 cigarette. Yeah. If you die first, you're getting fucking shrink wrapped. Oh, my brother-in-law thinks it's so funny. If I pass out to take a picture of his butt on my phone, he's done this. I've fallen asleep in my sister's house, passed down. He's taking a picture of his ass with his fucking balls sticking through in the other side. And I said, ha ha ha, very funny. I guess he was getting their coffin shrink wrapped with this shit.

He'll fucking straight up. Doesn't matter who dies first. It's going on. Right. I got, I'm putting it all in the blockchain. I got people. Yeah. They'll know.

Don't worry. Yeah. I know how to live. I'm gonna live a long time. People are always gonna know that guy who's on Dr. Phil. Mm-hmm. Keep it going. You can't get your nuts on your coffin.

Shink wrapped. Right. Right. Shink wrapped with those soy guys going like, look at those little tiny nuts. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Oh, one more.

What time is it? Oh, good. Oh, we've been going for a while already. About an hour. Close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Oh, one more. What time is it? Oh, good. Oh, we've been going for a while already.

About an hour. Close. Here's some news. Mm, good. I love news. This is uplifting news, especially on this show. Oh, man, and then I have a fat watch, and then we could kill it with some fat watch.

And I got a ton of Christ the Kiwi stuff. Oh, good. Dude, here, let me read you this thing from Christ the Kiwi today. Oh, my Dude, here, let me read you this thing from Christ the Kiwi today. Oh my God. What is that crackling, is that? Oh no. You don't hear that?

Oh, it's probably my phone, it's doing great, so thing. More than a third of white students lie about their race and college application. Because like their great, great grandmother was Mexican or something. Or Native American or something. Yeah. Isn't that okay? It's not surprising.

Well, you always said that's what everybody should do. I always should do that on purpose. Yeah. Yeah. More than a third though, that's shocking. That's a lot. I thought it's a lot. That's a lot.

It would have been a lot. I thought especially college age kids now, I would think play more by the rules than that, but they don't, or maybe they believe it, but they think they really are Native Americans. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. You would never, you've never lied about your race, have you?

No. No, I never have. She should start it. 50% maybe the ones that do lie are like, dude, I don't have a shot. It's like an uphill battle to get into certain colleges or whatever. So I mean, we all told my sister to take her name because the kids would be better off with a Mexican last name. Oh, right.

And I think people were kind of kidding, but I was not kidding. No, no, no, no. I just used the Mexican name. I mean, why would you not? Yeah. The white one is a hindrance. I mean, what at least hyphenate it?

Get it in there somewhere, right? Give them two middle names. Yeah, yeah. That'll tip them off. 33, 34% of white students who applied to colleges falsely claimed they were a racial minority on their application, okay. Claimed that not falsely.

Well, I mean, if you're, how do you know? Well, yeah, I mean, if you're any, like I think do you have to be one 64th Native American to qualify for any of, you know, to qualify for shit? I think it'd be a lot higher than that. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah.

To qualify for money. Oh, man, I thought I'm the reservation. I probably know about the reservation. I don't know. For some reason, 164th, probably not. Maybe it's maybe it's 16th. I don't know. Most students, 50% claim to be Native American.

Wow, it's a lot of Native Americans. Yeah, 164th would be, I mean, like we're all one 64th something, aren't we? I don't know. I mean, are you? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Have you ever got your DNA test?

No. I just know my mom's side. I mean, all their names are like our Scottish, like English or Scottish Indian, drink some bottle. Exactly. So it's beats is wife. My mom's side is very, very, very, or Scottish, like English or Scottish Indian drink some bottle. Exactly. So it's beats is wife.

My mom's side is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, I do know, I know you never said this, but I know, like my grandmother's really into genealogy and stuff like that. And she was told genealogy genealogy. Oh, that's different. Okay. Oh, Jen, not Jenny. Did I say Jenny? I mean, genealogy.

I said, yeah, okay. Yeah. But I am related, I know directly to Ulysses has grant on on her side. Really? The president? The drunken president. Yeah. But I mean, that's all on her side.

Like, they've been here since like the fucking Mayflower. Huh. I feel like every family needs a family member who lies about the family tree. Yeah. You know what I mean? She was my kind of relationship. I really don't mind too much. I still need it.

Yeah, it's an asset. Yeah. I want to know the family tree. Oh, you should talk to grandma lies with words. Yes, Native American ancestry. 77% of white applicants who lied about their race were accepted to those colleges. Wow.

So 34% lie of that 34%, 77%. We're accepted. Huh. Yeah. So what is that? Well, maybe it's something. Well, maybe those are two different questions too. But yeah, that's like the 28.

So that's like a fourth of white kids in college are there because they lied about their stuff. Something like that. Am I doing the math right? I mean, somewhere in there. like a fourth of white kids in college are there because they lied about their something right. Am I doing the math right? I mean, somewhere in there, you could also see that they could also ask that two separate ways, but what a what a what a stupid farce. All of this is all of this obsession with race just came out of nowhere. We didn't give a fuck when we were.

Can you remember ever caring like other than like a novelty? Well, you mean like on a application or something like that? Right, right. No one fucking cared when we were kids. No, I mean, it wasn't anything that I didn't think about it. No. So much, but you know, especially when you're a kid, you know, you're thinking about,

you're not thinking about the world either necessarily. So you're thinking about like, I don't think our parents were really too deep in thought about race. No. Other than the hilarious distinction between a hard R and an U that they continued repeating like this was the Rosetta Stone that they had figured out to each other. My parents never sat me down and had the talk. They never told you, it was I am bearist.

I gotta tell you this story, son. See, see one time. What about sex? Careful with those hours. It's the thing about that. Uh, three, remember, the birds fucked the bees. What's that from? Carlin, I think.

Uh, yeah, oh, 1200, a survey of 1200 people. Okay, so who cares? Probably nobody. Well, I hope you're lying. I hope everybody's lying. You're some comments, 1%, 0.1% of Yodic, get another COVID injustice for you. My fake ID got snatched,

because it didn't match my vaccine card. Really great right now. It's got a fake ID. It's his fake ID got snatched because they compared it to his vaccine card. Well, that's a fake ID because your names don't match. So we're taking the fake ID. So he doesn't even have... So his fake ID wasn't even him.

So his fake ID was a fake name. Yeah. Here's my vaccine card. It's Timothy Cuirmo. Oh, can we get your ID to? Oh, yeah, sure. It's a Lias Roush. You know, one of those is wrong.

Probably the ID. Yeah. Because we don't want to take away your, if we're going to take away them, we're taking away the one you could get back if it was real. Yeah, right? Because if the vaccine card is not your, if we're going to take away them, we're taking away the one you could get back if it was real, right? Because if the vaccine card is not, you're fucked. We take that one away, you can't get it anywhere. Okay, let's do some, Chris the Kiwi emails.

Yes, please. I got some gifts, get some advice through here, up in here. Oh God, I have fat watch too. Let's do Chris the Kiwi first. Here is his ugly mug reviews. Do you remember that side I told you about? Or hookers can get together and they review their clients

and they warn you about that. Yeah, do not write. So he had some, do not take checks from this man. Yeah, he had some hooker into skies who downloaded his, he had some, do not take checks from this man. Yeah, he had some hooker in disguise who downloaded his, he has a, he has a mole, a hooker on the inside who got his reviews. Let me see what they are.

This one he's titled Kelly the Bitch and her, no. About me, Kelly Australian naturally, but Harry at the spy. Kelly the bitch. She's got all caps sanitized. I don't know if you need to all caps that. Clean and quiet location. Plumplumplum.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. My reviews. Oh, I don't know how he assembled these. This might all be from the same person. Neither does he. these. This might all be from the same person. Neither does he. Yeah. Report comments. Oh, here we go.

I read the title. Rude Weirdo. Perfect. I mean, that's perfect, right? Yeah, rude, weirdo. Keeps messaging. So this is her complaint about Christa Kiwi on the hooker facts site, like car facts,

but hooker facts. Right. Keeps messaging me asking marital status and I say I don't provide personal info that this is a business. He then goes on to tell me I must be married in that I'm a cheater. Of course, I didn't provide personal info that this is a business. He then goes on to tell me I must be married

in that I'm a cheater. Of course I didn't reply. And now he's saying he's not rude and he's struck a nerve, but still wants to see me. Another one to add. It's definitely him. The podcast. Yeah, it's definitely him.

Let's see, I got a couple of these. This one is called mental case, I guess. How many hookers is this guy? How many hookers can you do this to without getting, right? Before the whole country, the entire, yeah. I mean, it hasn't heard, it hasn't slowed him down. Well, he's got a lot of hookers to plow through, I guess. Yesterday, Arvo, even is that Australian for easing?

I don't know. He just sent a text asking if I'm a massage therapist as my service and my details described it all. I saw his report, so I ignored him as I won't be seeing him anyway. Last night at 12 a.m. got sent drunk. Then this morning at 6 a.m. sent, sorry, what is wrong with this guy? Okay, well, that's not so bad. Call in. Yeah. He met some girl too. Oh, okay, here. There they, this is these hookers are talking about this on their on their warning site.

This guy's opening message. She's talking about Christ the Kiwi. Do you want a baby? Me, are you giving one away? I like her already. She's already sniffed out a fucking insane person. This guy's opening message, do you want a baby? Me, are you giving one away? Him, I can give you one. Me, really? You don't want it anymore? Him, natural insemination. How much is your full service?

Yeah, I mean, jokes aside. Now that we're old friends, busting each other's balls. What the fuck? Apologies. I thought you were giving me a baby away. One that has already been made. I don't offer full service. Then I searched his number. Him. If I came to you often enough, would you consider a boyfriend? I have told him to have a great evening, so I won't be responding again. Put his message on silent. I never block for some reason. I want to know they're texting. That's not a some reason. I want another texting.

That's not a no charming. He just messes me saying he wants a girlfriend and then called me a bitch. I answered him with a bitch in rich. Oh, okay. You really showed it. Women's compulsion to like get the last word when they're dealing with a mental psychopath.

I know she should not have even, they do it. They're just compelled to do this. Yeah. This is actually a guy who sends you his sperm count and asks to be your girlfriend. Okay. Oh my God. Highly volatile.

Highly volatile. What a psycho. Dude, what's fucking drunk? What am I missing? I don't know. I don't know what it means. Let's look it up. Oops.

Grunk slaying. A person that's really intelligent than oneself. Oh, okay. That sounds like something. You think he would, yeah. He requested stuff. What if I fall in love with you? Do you want a baby?

Yeah, okay. That's good. Good stuff. Fucking this guy. See what else I got from him. Some texts. I don't know if this is the baby one. Dog, he called there.

I've seen all the reports on you. You have 27 reports online dating back a long time. Please find another hobby. Oh, the harser. You're not, yeah, getting snarky. You're not good at this one. Yeah, get lost. Why did you message me if you don't want to book?

How do you have like so many women going, your money's no good here? Yeah, but they never stop. They always message him back. It's so, it drives me insane that they do that. Well, I mean, like the first thing that they, first thing that they should do is like look up whoever's texting them and then like not even respond

with word. It seems like they do that three or four messages later. Like, oh, so I let this guy up. It's this psycho. Please don't message me again or I'll have to report you. If you have something to say, say it face to face, organize a time today if you want. I'm not a mean person. I'm like, why is she responding?

I'm not a mean person. I don't have anything to say to you, please leave me alone or I'll have to report you as being very rude. Oh dear, no. You're not a mean person. How can I back that? How can you back that up? Okay. It's not as though I'm running out of hose. He met a girl. He sends me a message. Let me pull it up. He sends me a message today that he met a girl in real life. Can't wait to have that. That's the tabularly imbecilated. Not happens to be a hooker.

Yeah, she happens to be a hooker. He didn't meet her during his hooking. Let me see. He's just drawn to hookers. Yeah. He's a horror waste burer. Okay, here I took and I, here we go. I'm trying to piece these together

because he sends me like emails like their texts. I took an escort I met on the street out to dinner at the casino and went to her house and helped her on her website and she cooked me dinner. And that nice American Gothic. He's helping her with her website. She's doing dinner. Okay. It escalates from there. Okay's helping her with her website. She's doing it on dinner. Okay.

It escalates from there. Okay. It escalates from there. Yeah. I met her by a chance encounter and by coincidence, she's an escort. And the picture was taken and we both woke up and she didn't charge me.

How about that? So he fucked her and she didn't charge him. Here's a picture of her. Something's going on. It's a hot, that's way out of it. Well, his league, right? I mean, you can't see your body, but. How many fucking dude?

Having two arms and two legs is out of his league. It's a pretty girl. That's what I'm saying. Uh, okay. Okay, so she is, okay. She is dying out. She has a cast bank account info or something's gonna, he's gonna get fucked so hard.

She's a kid near something's going on. She's diagnosed with autism and ADHD. So she has autism too. Mm-hmm. Fuck, perfect. I know. Let me see the last one. She told me that she wants to marry me.

That's okay. Finally found somebody more psycho than him. Do you think she's pretty? Any more? But in men or better than women, don't you say marriage? She's a maid, okay, well, yeah, I'm not just getting stuck into that loop. I'm not like he's horrors, it will just text you forever.

A last one, abusive time-waster. This was reported on Halloween. Oh, this poor hooker, Halloween, she's up writing reviews of Chris the Kiwi contacted me late at night saying he was sad. I explained that I, I explained I could see him another time. He says, okay, I know you're just here for business recognizing a time wester. I explained that of course I was. This is my job.

And I have all the time and empathy for my clients who actually booked overnight. He sent, do you think escorts in general have a duty of care, drunk, and put your tits away? Duty of care. Like a fucking Hippocratic oath for hookers. Yeah, they have to care about you. Okay. Christ.

Oh, God, I have fat watch. You're going to have some fat. It's fat watch. Oh, God, I have fat watch. You're gonna have some fat watch. Fat watch. Of course. I got some stingers for it too. Mm. You ready for this? I'm ready.

What is all this shit I have in here? I'm ready. I've got... I just dump all these pictures in here. I never remember what they are. Oh good, it doesn't work. Okay. Okay, here is fat watch number one.

That's fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat Turn that crank that shit up. Yeah, that's good. Very good. Yeah, I don't know if it's exactly the tone that we're looking for. Okay, here's another one. Oh, geez, this is from Zach. Wow, that's loud. This week in fat news. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.

Telegraph, right? Yeah. Here's another one. I got four. I got two more. This is from Dan. That one was from Zach. The first one was from Ryan. Okay. He was Dan's fat watch. You were just fat, philobick? Yes. God, that's it.

Some of our best friends are fat. Hahaha. I'm a real fat. Yeah, I have to have friends along. This is Fat Watch. Brought to you by the picture. It's a date line. Pretty good.

It's good. Some of our best. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests.

Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our bests. Some of our best That watch, a day in fat news. Pretty good. Yeah, right, right to the point. Yeah.

You know, doesn't color it one way or the other really. Yeah. Old timey, old timey, yes, exactly. Okay, let's get to the fat news. Let's see what the fats are up to today. Are we supposed to pick one? We're going with the Reverend Scott's probably. That's the one I would pick, honestly. Here is Lizzo. He said, I'd say they all, they

all hit the mark to some degree though. Yes. I don't know. They're none of them are shit. No, I don't want that. I don't want to say that either, but Reverend Scott just fits perfectly tight like that. You can hear it over and over again and never get sick of it. Fat as you know, Halloween just happened. That's a big time for fat ladies. It really like going, it's like a parade for them. Here's Lizzo is baby Yoda. That's, dude, about that baby Yoda. I mean, it's, and the job is so obvious. Come on. You don't just, you think she got that all night? Oh, you drop of the hut. Nah, baby Yoda. Baby?

See the ears. How big is the Mandalorian? Are we standing on them? Exactly. Yeah, he's fucking, it's like 25 feet tall. God bless her. She could have done any costume that required like a fishnet, you know, that showed a lot of skin, but thank God she was wearing a giant robe and even the robe is not tight.

She's got about 60 safety pins in that thing. Yeah, yeah, that's very, very loose. And the anatomy is wild. There you go. Did you? Oh, man. She looks like a homeless woman dressed up just for... Is that a cup she has in her hand? That's a wine barrel. Shaking right out of it. Oh my God.

Oh no. Okay. She's anything else. Oh my God. Oh no, okay. Shucks blocked up. Shucks blocked up. Okay, that's the first entry into fan watch. Oh my God. Let me get the next obscene Halloween costume that one of these brides tried to pull off.

Test holiday. Test holiday poses in a black bikini and celebration of fat people who are erased from history. Oh wow. Did you know about that? Fat Erasure, Sean? No. Fat people are really getting fucking erased from, you know, I find that totally important to believe.

They mean so many amazing accomplishments in history. Yeah. Do you ever hear about the Lady of physics that eight Mount Everest? No. Nobody has nobody knows about her accomplishment. You hear about the guy that climbed Mount Everest. Yeah. But you never hear about the lady that eight Mount Everest. Test holiday is using her social media platform to talk about the erasure of fat bodies. Really? She called it fat bodies from history while also embracing her very own fat body. I wonder if the author is hot. They really got to put that at the top. Yeah. Like, here's a picture of the author. What fat person has been erased from history? Do you even know that they're fat in history? I don't know how much Christopher Columbus weighed?

No. I don't know. Henry the eighth looked fat. Yeah, I mean, all the, of course, he was, all the portraits, I mean, yeah. It's not like they added, you know, a hundred pounds. Because everyone had to walk everywhere. All the time, they were burning like 3,000 calories a day.

The model and body acceptance advocate took to Instagram to share photos from her recent visit to air ancient baths in London where she was clad in a black bikini. Oh my God. Air ancient baths in London. There's no water left in the fucking hot springs because she jumped in.

Yeah, that's all over the streets. Yeah, it's run down the hill and flooded a village. These baths couldn't accommodate. Can you Matt? I heard you figured woman. It's trying to ease into the Coliseum. No. Turn this bath into a vomatorium. Real fat bodies have always existed. They're pronouncing it fat bodies have always existed, but it's fat bodies, right? Yeah. Because you're disgusting fat body pile, right? Exactly. That's what it is. It's the term fat bodies knowing that the funny is because I'm too heavy sir, because you're disgusting fat body. Yeah. Fat bodies have always existed. They've just

tried to erase us from history. Who the fuck is erasing fat bodies from history? Moby Dick? People are just fucking making up shit to be pissed about it. All the Renaissance paintings are a bunch of fat brods. Yeah. Yeah. But fucking yeah, but James Carvell's wrong. They're trying to erase us from history. We've always been central. Briella Hall. Prong. Strong, especially.

Because you're having a turkey and capable. I don't post photos like this to be like, look how hot I am. Well, thank God. But also, please, look away. Man, I've been here in. Yeah. Well, nobody thought you were posting these pictures to say, look how hot I am. There's unintended consequences going on here. Sean, I don't want anyone to get the idea that I've ever posted a picture so people could

go, so I could say, look how sober I am in this picture. Yeah, right. I post pics like this because I refuse to let them. What are you talking about? You? Jews? Oh, I don't know. People say lamb would.

Yeah, the first time I hear them, you let them write us out of the story. Oh, thank God you cropped that there. Yeah, that was only getting worse. Look at this. Sean, look at this tragically small size of this bikini strap. I know. Do you think the little kids in China making this

are like wondering what they're making for? Like a Godzilla or something? See, this is actually a case of like, you know, jaws ended up being scarier because you didn't see the shark. Like your imagination is so much worse than what it could actually be or is it? Or is it?

The mom of two shared that fat people are living beautifully complex lives. Complex carbohydrates lives. Just like everyone else. She concluded, so don't get it twisted. You can live whatever life you want right now, no matter what your body looks like. Well, I mean, okay, okay, fine. Yeah, you can take gross pictures. I want these cheeks to inspire y'all to live your lives unapologetically today, tomorrow, and every day after that, but not as so many days because you're going to have diabetes. So it's probably less scary than, you know.

Oh, no, no, no, I see it. Oh, God, I see it. Do we do it? Yeah, a deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath.

A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. A deep breath. Oh Dude that's a this is worse than the cum beats that's like a side view that's a flank like a draft horse

bro What the fuck How do you know she's about to be keening and it's not a fold that like that pool right there That was actually level she crushed that one step down and this one's about to go down to the same Level is gonna be about a two and a half foot step out of the pool. This is a wishing pool I read up on this a wishing pool you throw coins in and all the coins are the signs of hubcaps when she got out Dude look at that fucking Lank is this after the Photoshop dude like what's your hopes? Oh?

What are her shoes like? Ah! Dude, she doesn't go to a shoe store. She has to go to a blacksmith. Yeah. Good. Very good. I thought so.

Look at the, do you think she went in to get those tattoos? And the guy, like, had to switch arms because his arm got tired? Yeah. I mean, she's like the Golden Gate Bridge. They start tattooing every two years, and then when they're done, they gotta start over tattooing again. Yeah, yeah.

So dude. She's got to, you know how women have those Bible versus tattooed on their ribs? She had the entire Bible tattooed on her. She's a joke for you. That's good. I know, I'm stunned. Oh God no!

She looked like, Oh, shit! If you're looking and you go, that's not a person. Okay, you ever seen like a, you ever seen rhinos? How they have those like folds and pleats? I love them. Their skin is very,

yeah, yeah. Some of their certain species, their skin is very like armor like. It almost, yeah, it almost folds. Like it has like plates, like segments. Plates, fat, lymphedema plates. It's, dude, the other picture that side view, I just can't get past.

That was the erotic one. That's the first one to get you in the door. Yeah. This is the, where are these candles lit? They're actually emergency flares. Dude, is this up? If she farted, that place wouldn't exist. Ha ha ha ha.

Be just a joint, there'd be like a giant crater, like a meteor impact. The dinosaur. That's three lit candles. That is reckless, dick. Reckless. Because of the farts. Yes. There'd be like the embarked. Should go. Like the dinosaur that's three lit candles that is reckless dick The farts. Yes, I'd be like doing that's what I'm going homeers beer April

Oh my god, oh it moves. Oh no, I wasn't ready for that Look at that oh get out of here. Oh, this is on her Instagram. Okay, let's see here. Instaton. That's Sultry. Look, I wasn't prepared for that. Instant kill a gram. No, it's a tons better.

Although it's not scientifically accurate. I guess not. Metric ton. Okay, let's take a look at that. It's Celtery look again. Oh, because your English and metric system, I get it. Yeah. Boom.

Ah. Well, that's the last man of your ham sandwich. That's the last thing you ever see that look. Yeah. Dude, look at how erotic that is. It's like the segment. She's doing like a fucking trap workout. Every time she touches her hair, those arms have to weigh 70 pounds. Her back looks like a lobster tail. She looks like Zoidberg out of his skin. That's what I know. She looks like a wobbly. That's right, that's exactly right.

Yeah, that's what Zoidberg looks like. She should have gone as Zoidberg for Halloween. Kwa-bwa-bwa, just paint herself pink. Jesus. Oh! Oh! No! No! I can't look away. No! How did she make it bigger?

Why did they erase this from history? Well, stop. Well, stop erasing the fat bodies from history. Well, just stop doing this. How did you find how? who made the bikini? Right? Like, who made the bikini for this? And I don't know.

I don't know. Stop, R.E.I. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

Shh. Who's that, who's that company that does all the dredging that built the the islands in Dubai? Oh, I don't know the name. That company did. Yeah. Wow. My God.

She's got a tattoo of a woman on her right shoulder that is life size. I know. Her head of the woman is life size. She's eating the bricks. So this is a cotter,. She's eating the bricks. It's so good. Yeah. They caught her eating the bricks. Right.

It's not only the only thing with enough fucking fiber. And she needs some weight behind it to force out those, like that it was six turkeys that she downed one after the other. Oh, God. Like a snake. Okay. Do that. These pictures aren't there.

Oh. That's like the mummy's curse. Look, he's going into a door away. Mazzalee, I'm or something, he's just gonna pick the bones clean. Yeah. She found the catacombs in France. Oh, they left some meat on these bones. These bones have been sent here for a thousand years. Yeah, I'll be the judge of that.

I'm out of that. Oh, is this like your blue whale watching that you went that you saw? What's she, what you're seeing right now? Where she's proactively. Is she supposed to be floating? What do you mean? You think she's so fat? She's on the bottom of the pool.

Well, actually, so sticking up. I can only tell you. She probably, she probably She's on the bottom of the pool. Well, actually, so sticking up, like an island. Dude, she probably, she probably could, because like the density of fat is not that much, right? So if she can float. Yeah, because if she displaces, if the water, if the water displaced is heavier than she is, she floats. Yeah.

Wow. How am I, you know, at some point in human evolution, this is gonna be the average size of a woman. God. Or it's like, you can say it's so white, it's like nothing but pure salt water. To make sure she stays on top. We've injected nitrogen into this pool. Yeah. Uh-oh. Oh, is she flipping us off for erasing fat bodies from history in this one? Oh my God! Okay, I'm not doing this to watch it. Dude, okay, that's, is that

enough fat watch for today? It's enough for the whole segment. That watch today and fat news. Today and fat news fat bodies are getting a race from history. We got to stop it. You know, plenty of, you hear about George Washington. That's crazy. And Abraham Lincoln, but you don't hear about like the woman who ate three turkeys on Thanksgiving dinner. And the first Thanksgiving dinner. You don't.

That's true. You don't hear about that. You don't hear about the lady, you don't hear about the Paul Revere. You heard about him. Right. You didn't hear about the time his wife got stuck in a well. She's so fat and raised from history.

True. There you go. True. George Washington had them wooden teeth. You heard about that, right? Hipopodimus ivory, actually. Okay, I'd have hipopodimus ivory. You got that from his wife.

Yeah. She's so fat. Yeah, she's a hipopodimus. You don't hear about that, because fat bodies have been erased. Okay, spider says, advice I have a problem. I'm in love with the woman that is interested,

but not available. Okay. Okay. God. What do you think that means? Interested, but not available? She's married, right? Well, yeah, I mean, or, yeah.

Has a boyfriend, something. Lives with somebody, I don't know. Nice sea cups, tall and slender, with baby blue eyes. That's sexualizing a minor, you are a pedophile. Her, how do you know she's a minor? Because he said baby blue eyes. That's sexualizing a minor, you are a pedophile. Her, how do you know she's a minor? Because he said baby blue eyes. And the sexual context with a baby that's sexualizing children, that means you're a pedophile.

Got it, my bad. Her last boyfriend died in an accident a year ago. Oh, wow. And she's not over him. She's still not over him. I don't wanna wait and pine for something that may not happen. So she is available. She's just not like emotionally.

Yeah, okay. According to this guy. Right, well, I just, okay, well, I just thought there's a woman about it. Right, but there's no pressing hard enough. There's no physical being she's involved with. Ah, right. It's just her and a Ouija board.

Yeah, just dress up like the guy. Go find his old clothes. Before you see her, she's definitely saving a shirt that she has of his that smells like him. For sure. Take him rub it all over yourself. Mm-hmm. Right?

Yeah, especially on your cock. Right, that'll get her. Oh my God, this smells. I can't get away from it. Smells just like a fucking Roberto, whatever's name was. Roberto. You just pull out Roberto. I was thinking of the water boy. But I genuinely think she's a keeper. We get along great and the sex you will tension is palpable. I've made moves and gotten some reciprocation, but she always stops things

before they get too far. What's the strategy here? I think you gotta do that. Just be as much as that of the dead boyfriend as you can. Figure out maybe find a diary or something, see what he used to call her and work that into conversation. See if there is any inappropriate showering. Yeah, with their dad.

I just be, what was their favorite movie? Oh, that's your favorite movie. What was their song together? Like, that's the ideal, is the pick, you don't wanna start a whole new relationship. You know, that's like, that's sick and effective. Yeah. I mean, that would totally work.

Yeah. It would totally work. You would have a way better shot than you just, you know, be in you and maybe, maybe he loves it. He loves it. Maybe they loved something and you hated it. But if you don't try to find out, you might really step in it. It might be a big deal.

Yeah. Or you got to do one or two things. You either do total immersion and reminder, you either keep living that life. Like, you know, when you switch, like when the, so he needs to be Bill Murray, basically. What do you mean? In Groundhog Day.

He needs to figure out exactly what she goes for it. He had to do it to get trial and error. Yeah. You have some research to do. Call the guys, the dead guy's parents, trying to figure out what kind of guy he was. Like, do you have any kind of catch phrases? Like, Bazinga, that he research to do. Call the guys, the dead guy's parents, trying to figure out what kind of guy he was, like do you have any kind of catch phrases, like Bazinga that he liked to say,

and I can start doing that. Or you go to complete opposite end, get the hell out away from everything that reminds of anything of the old life. Spring break, spring breaker. Take her to somewhere that no familiarity, nothing. That's you person. That's not a bad idea.

That's all that old stuff. Good luck with that, Spider. Let us know how, nothing. That's you person. That's not about I need to tell you. That's all that old, other stuff. Good luck with that, spider. Let us know how it goes. Either of those things, either of those things, I hope you picked the one that's morally reprehensible, but I hope it works out. But I'm not gonna be there to make sure you do. I'm not gonna be offended.

Don't let us down. Loose skin, loser. Hey, Dick, don't use my name. So you lost a bunch of weight? Maybe. Maybe he just has a lot of skin. I'm a 29 year old kissless virgin. Over the last year and a half, I went from 480 pounds. Wow.

Is that how big test holiday is? Do you think? Let's see how much I think. I don't know how tall she is. Does him have her? I mean, all day weight. don't know how tall she is. Does him have her? I mean, all the day wait. How much would you guess she is? She's five, six.

No way is she 280 pounds in her bra maybe. Yeah, I mean, I would think she's probably, I would think she's over three. Yeah, let's get, let's, I don't think she could be, at five foot six, I don't think she could possibly be 400 pounds six of that. I don't think she could possibly be 400 pounds. Let's go to those baths. Yeah. And mark like Archimedes. Yeah, you can see the level that's risen when she's in and out. There you go. Some real science to it. You can figure this out. Not the Fauci science. You can figure you can figure this out.

I went from 480 to 185, mostly alternate day fasting. Subway, Jimmy John's and lots of walking. Mainly I did it for this girl I've been in love with for the last two-ish years. Wow, you've been in love with a girl for two years and you lost 300 fucking pounds. How much does he weigh now? 185.

That's incredible. Incredible. That's incredible, but. That's incredible. But she went from, I don't want a relationship with anyone to dating a guy she hooked up with, because she was lonely. Well, yeah. And the guy she actually wanted was a gay tard, he says.

Okay. That will happen. Yeah. I thought, I thought losing the weight would have boosted my confidence. But I found out I'm the same autistic awkward guy who can't talk to women that I was before losing the weight. Yeah, so I mean, sadly, that's a real thing. Losing the change of your appearance doesn't just change your brain.

Yeah. Not like that. Not like that, it doesn't. I feel like years of social isolation have placed me so far behind others in terms of social skills and experience with women that I can't catch up to my peers. Well, yeah, look at it. I understand that.

Really? You're looking at it wrong, though. Okay. Because that is how I look at things. A lot of the time, if I don't catch behind. They catch behind. Yeah, behind, so what's the point? The way to look at it is.

I do think you do that. I do that, yeah, that's my default. The way to look at it is, you'll do things like, well by the time I get good at this or by the time I, if I work through this, I'll be 50. You'll be the same age that you would be if you don't do shit. Yeah.

That's not stopping. So like forget about the, I'm behind. It's a good point. Like, how do I explain to a woman that I'm a virgin and almost 30 without being laughed at? Why would you, why would you tell any woman that? Don't tell her that. Don't tell her that. Look, any, if they think it asks you, they can, because women have a huge disconnect between how good they are

at sex and how good they think they are at sex. Because guys don't complain. So a lot of women have this crazy, they've been with a lot of dudes, they have this crazy idea. My dog probably thinks she's amazing at sex. So these guys are always trying to bang her. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, yeah. I got it going on. Yeah. You know? Yeah, shit. Yeah, it's, I've noticed that. It's a very big disconnect between, you know, how good they are, how good they think they are.

And because guys are just like, hey, I'm fucking in there. Yeah. I'm saying shit. Every, if woman asks you about your sexual history, you have to remember every time a woman asks you a question, it's fucking in there. Yeah. I'm saying shit. Every, if woman asks you about your sexual history, you have to remember, every time a woman asks you a question, it's an opportunity to make her feel insecure. So don't think in terms of, there's the evil.

How am I gonna explain, you know, how am I, if she says, right, what's your sexual past? How am I gonna say I'm a virgin? No, no, no, no, no. She asks you what's your sexual pass? You say, you know, I don't really think that that's appropriate to talk about.

And you asking is kind of a red flag. Yeah. Then she's panicking, right? Oh, God, is it some wrong with me? Nothing wrong with me. I mean, maybe. What get in her head? Yeah, get in her head for sure.

All the time. It would definitely get in her head. It would definitely get in her head. And then eventually they stop asking you questions someday. At least that's what I'm hoping for. On top of all that, the loose skin ruins any chance I have of being attractive. We all look like monsters. Well, look, don't worry about that.

Yeah, that's only getting worse. But the loose skin, if you lose that much weight, you probably have to get that surgically removed. God, that's a lot of skin. Yeah, I mean, you have to get things like taken off or tightened. I mean, that's because your body, it doesn't have the capacity to...

Shinkie, dink it back. Not like that. Not like that. I know people who lose hundreds of pounds, that's like a fits of surgery. I've never seen it. The surgery? I think I have one.

Oh, wobbly. Like a parachute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen it not in person, but yeah, I've seen it on TV and stuff. Yeah, no, I mean, that would suck. You know, you, you, that would gross his hell. You lost like, I mean, God,

that's so much fucking weight to lose. Of course, you're gonna have loose skin. Just wear a girdle, right? I mean, and hide it, no, no, no, God, that's so much fucking weight to lose. Of course, you're gonna have loose skin. Just wear a girdle, right? I mean, hide it, no, no, no, no, hide it, wear a girdle out to the club, right? Dirtle all your skin up. And then when you get her home, get the lights off, pop your girdle and then she's like,

what is this like a weighted blanket that you've got? Raptor, I'm like, yeah, I always like to screw and I've always like having sex with a weighted blanket. It's awesome. Right. Rich people have weighted blanket. You've seen weighted blankets right? Exactly. Like, okay. I'm not cuddling on autistic. There might be a thunderstorm. Yeah. I look like a deflated hot air balloon when standing. Oh, no. Yeah. And a dolly painting when I lay on my side. Oh wow. Or get on my hands and knees pretty cool. Getting on your hands and knees. Yeah, that's the question Like kind of does he have an I mean he's got insurance or whatever I would think I Mean wouldn't he be a much lower risk for just death of any sort. Yeah, I would think I

Mean look that's a of any sort. Yeah, I would think. I mean, look, that's a technically, that's probably a fucking cosmetic surgery. They'll label that as, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you got to get somebody to fucking take care of it. It's gonna be up with heart attack serum, but I have all this loose skin. I know that. I know that's, I know that's a surgery. It has to be done. Because I can see my muscles behind the loose skin, but it's hidden. Oh, that's nice. The surgery to get it removed costs a ton. There you go. Isn't covered by insurance.

Of course, of course not. Because yeah, why would they do anything useful, those fucking cock suckers? That's horse shit. It's fucking such bullshit. Everything that they pay for, God damn it. Because they only, they don't pay for preventative shit. Real, I'm not really. They pay for fucking treatments and band-aids and shit like that.

Yeah. The surgery to get a removed cost of time isn't covered by insurance and probably requires a vaccination, fuck that. Well, you sounds like you should have been vaccinated for 80. I could have afford it, but I don't wanna go broke chasing something that might not work out. Might not work out.

Motherfucker, you need to put your skin back together. Don't stop thinking about this dumb girl. Get your skin. Yeah, you're putting the cart before the horse. Fuck, get your skin looking normal. Turn back into a human. Now that you've unrenounced your humanity, now that you've got your humanity back,

look, that should be like that shouldounced your humanity. Now that you've got your humanity back, look, that should be, like that should be your goal. You can't look in the mirror every day and see if deflated balloon. Yeah, and of course you're not gonna, you know, your confidence is number one, that's nothing that's gonna change overnight. It's gonna take time. Number two, you lost a fuck ton of weight,

that's fucking phenomenal, but you're still in it, you're not done with the process. And that literally should be, if you want to really change your life, that should be your one and only goal. How do I get back to normal? How do I get it back to looking like a guy, my weight should look clean up the beard care and the road and the trash. They hear the rest is going to kind of tell you not take care of itself, but it's gone. She's not that great.

No matter what you think about this girl, she's a fucking pain in the ass. Here's, here's the harsh truths. They're, because they're all a fucking pain in the ass. It doesn't matter. Whatever you think about her is going to wear off real fucking quick after you blow to your first load. It's, you know, and then realize, oh, great. No, it's, it's true. It's another person. Yeah. People are pains in the asses. Yeah, don't, don't fucking,

don't think in a nice fix for everything. Right. That's beta-beautrix. That is definitely not where you want it. If you're looking for somebody else to, to fix everything or that she's perfect and all of a sudden you'll feel, the only person who can fix everything is Trump. As good as it gets, you know, a movie like that,

that's, I always say that about about, about you always say. Just Hollywood store, like movies. The fact that somebody comes into somebody's lives and like fundamentally changes them as a human being is Bull shit. I changed never exes life never Never has happened never will happen. Yeah, I just feel like care how many movies you see how plausible it is People don't change that quickly like that you go back to it

So I just feel like all the time in hard work, I put into losing weight was for nothing. And I really wanna go to Greenland before I end up a 30 year old wizard. At least my dick is a lot bigger than the thought. Well, you could probably perisale there. Flying squirrel to Greenland. Yeah, squirrel suit.

Right. Went from a tap for us to Greenland in three hours. So at least I have that going from yet. Well, that's cool. I mean, that probably also, I mean, wonder if that loses weight too. You know, the funny thing about virgins is how they're always like,

oh, this is such a huge cross the bear that I haven't had of sex in 30 years. Yeah. Once you have sex, if you go for three days without having sex, it feels exactly the same. You know what I mean? So, you don't be in such a hurry. And then even then, it's like, well, why did I only fuck one woman?

Like, what is the, come on, it never goes away. Yeah, stop saying that it's this weird, that it's going to go away. It's never going away. Oh, it's not going away. That feeling never fun. It goes away. Scratch that itch. Yeah, right. Learn to code.

You have to do something else. You're way too fixated on this idea, this stupid, this silly idea of romantic love and infatuation. Well, I mean, and he's thinking, That's the problem. He's never really easy. He's a childish, I try. He has conception of love.

Yeah, you know, but he doesn't have experience. So he, you know, again, he's gonna, it's what he perceives, you know, from whatever he's, whoever he observes, whatever he's watched, anything like that. But you'll find out that it's, it's a lot smaller part of your life as far as how you see yourself as you think it is.

Like as far as like, it doesn't fix, it you think it is, like as far as like, it doesn't fix, it's not going to fix it. I was not going to fix it. No, no, no, no, no, sex, a big part, maybe a big part of your life, but it's not something that's going to, oh, now I, I check that box. So now I'm not normal. Not like everyone else. Cool.

Exactly. It's not that. All right. This is, as from the Dixia, Patreon.com slash the Dixia, this is Sean's dance. Let's see, who do I credit this to? Bad eater?

Bad eater. Sean's dance. Here you go, we'll do some voice mail. Sean's dance. Come on. It's time for the Sean dance. Oh, cool. It's dancing time.

Come on Sean. Wow. I'm afraid. Do you do a dance? I don't know. Do you do like a dance? No. Are you sure?

Pretty sure. You should have a dance. Uh-huh. Do your dance. This is really weird. You have to have a dance if this song exists. Uh-huh. This is really weird. You have to have a dance if this song exists. That's part of the dance. Yeah. We're thirsty.

Let's see it. I ain't know how to do the dance, Sean. Let's see it. I ain't got a dance. I don't want to see the dance, please. I'm waiting. I'm ready to say we are one to see our dance, Sean. I see you've sent anything in before? No.

I don't think so. It's a good song. Please. Is it like a post-modern dance where you do not dance? And everyone just stands. I don't know, he knows more about it than I do. I think there's one guy in the dance floor that's Sean and does not dance. And everyone dances around him. Well, why the fuck would they be on the dance floor?

Because it's funny. Do the dance, Sean. And he's just standing in the middle, right? I guess. And it's cool to be the Sean. Like the cool guy of the party does be the Sean that that time. This is so weird. You can mess it up because you make it too cute.

My god, I fucking plan it up too much. Do the dance. Shhh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So bizarre. You don't even have like a little move or something that you do when you're dancing? I don't think so. That doesn't make you want to do any kind of moving at all. No. Well, it doesn't. See, right to the end.

It's perfect. I'm gonna have to come up with something. They're gonna be doing that in the club. Just one guy in the middle standing there, not dancing. Right. Okay. Let. Okay. Let's see. What the fuck is happening to my voicemails?

Whoa. They're vanishing. Like back to the future. Yeah. Okay. Hey, great. Hey, if you haven't watched today, which is Thursday's episode of Dr. Phil with the Kartnerks holy shit. He's on there. Oh yeah. I've ever heard. Obviously now it's good as your episode but the close. I love that guy. The Kartnerks. Yeah.

Phil. Dr. Phil. Like Dr. Phil makes sometimes he takes everything so seriously. Yeah. In a comment like, well, well, Warren, he's an asshole. Problems like this when they're starving people in Africa. And then the whole audience are laughing. He doesn't get it. And he says, your whole show is way off. He's a done-exist. How many of you said a homeless person is sporting? I know you're smarter than that. And Dr. Field, he's kind of ruffled. No, I'm not. I'm smarter himself, well, I'm smarter than you think I am. It cuts to convertible. It's pretty good, Phil.

And there's other times, there's other times where like weird obviously, like has something smart to say, who like opens his mouth and like have these weird cuts. Oh, they can dirty. Sorry, you never see him dirty. Of course. Oh, I don't see how.

I don't see how. I don't see how. I don't see you, I'm dirty. Of course. Oh, I'm at the host, look like an asshole. I'm at the host, look like an asshole. Seriously, as a healer after that. Anyway, go for it. Oh, we gotta get him back. Let me go. We gotta get Cardinal Arts back to hear what they cut. What's up on?

He's great. Man, if there's a, there's gotta be a whistleblower, a doctor filled. They can get all those edits out. Yeah. We need a whistle. We need to send James O'Keefe in there. Dr. Phil with his undercover broad team. We need a whistle. We need to send James O'Keefe in there. Dr. Phil with his undercover broad team.

Send the FBI in. Send the FBI in. Can you, can you, can you put all the raw files? FBI kicking in your door, because you're posting a woman's diary. Yeah. The FBI. I don't know, it's nothing.

What the fuck could she have said in there? Nothing's shocking. Get the fuck, go fuck yourselves. I mean, you know, president's daughter. President's daughter's diary? Yeah, like what is she? Like I said, right, the nuclear launch codes in there. Huge deal, obviously.

Get the fuck out of here. Uh, okay. Hey, dick, my rage is dumbass, what if? Hmm. For example, watch a, you know, action movie with someone. They're pulling flying, whatever. You get out of the movie and they're like, what does that really happen? It would be real funny if, if, what if,

if the main character got hit by a straight bullet in the beginning? No. Yeah. Well, what, what had that happened? Oh. And to me, I No. Yeah. Well, what had that happened? And to me, I'm just wondering, well, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be in the movie. I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be a movie if that were

a different movie. Go ask Saylan, I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be a main character. Yeah. Well, why do you even think this would be interesting? Why do you think that would be the movie? What's wrong with you? What do you think that would be like a flip-flop?

Why off the dope, son? I'm under the train of the game. Why do you think that would be the way I'm moving? What's wrong with you? Why do you think that? Why off the dope son? I'm under the frame of thinking. That's such a stone thought. You know, what if you just wrote your own story, you know, I, or what if you just shut the fuck up? You know, like I forget it. I don't understand why do people train the thing in art, but yeah.

I mean, they're, yeah, I know those conversations, like, I thought it was gonna go like, dude, what would you do if that really happened? I like those conversations. Yeah, well, I do, for what? For what? For what?

For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what?

For what? For what? For what? For what? For what. Like what would you do? Like, I don't know, like it's like, I'll tell you what I would do. It's like, off to the races. Yes. No, I like that. Yeah, that's great. I don't even have to do anything.

You know what people do on the internet all the time is the same kind of thing. What was? Guys will post like other men talking about how their girlfriend's cheating on them or whatever. And then they'll talk about how, oh, when a girl does this, you got to leave instantly. Why do you say that?

Right, you just explain that you would never do that. Yeah, you just told us all, you'd never do that. Okay, yeah. Are you sure? Right. You needed to point that out. I would never let a bitch cheat on me. Right, you're like, all right.

Thanks for letting us know, dude. No, not me, I mean, you don't believe right. You gotta believe right. I'm not telling myself this, I'm telling you. Cause you don't know, and then a bunch of guys will chime in like, oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, I'm like, what do you guys like? Just go have sex with each other.

That's what you're doing. Mm. It's grotesque. The way you're bonding over this pretend relationship, remaining men together you probably fuck that chicks i mean you know could be uh... okay here we go hey dick patient

yeah new rage is uh... google maps new feature for you'll assist you yeah i know so that and they fucking are now giving you routes. They have the best fuel efficiency. Yeah. So visiting family in the East Coast, they live out of the countryside. I've been there once before.

Is that their default? And I use Google Maps to, you know, just get around because I don't know how to get anywhere. Thank you for explaining Google Maps. I play two other, and I'm like, huh, I'm taking a really scenic route in some slow ass areas odd I get to my location free. I can see the freeway It's the first fucking thing that they're suggesting is a fucking route that takes five

Yeah, not short as time most efficient It's fucking for shit. Yeah, yeah, that's bullshit I'll be looking I know I saw that it's brain dead. I'll be looking extra close at my Google maps. This idea that people are like going to save the environment with tiki tacky like pencil shaving, shaving on shit, even putting solar panels on your house. No, cargo ships are just talking about the wall. Yeah, yeah, no you it's fucking clue. Yeah. No, I

Stop being absolutely what you want to fucking child about everything Everything you're well if everybody did it if everybody no no no no Sorry, oh, maybe if man you said no No, no. Sorry. Well, maybe if man you've said, no, it's just not you would have. Whatever you think is so dumb and childish. Yeah, you're not even.

You can't tolerate it. Yeah, it's, you live in another world. And they're making this app for you. People don't want to feel powerless to do anything or change anything. They're like scared, so they think, well, if me and all my friends do it, and it just spreads, it's like, no,

you are a drop in the ocean of what's going on. Okay. We gotta get to work on that proton decay. Yeah. It's a big problem. All right. Yeah. And to intend to the, I don't know,

attend to the 10 to the 32 billion or something, a proton's gonna fucking evaporate. But I start conserving your protons. Save the protons. You could do at home, you could sit at home. I'm sitting at home. You can see the snapshots of them. Lock them up.

Yeah, you could sit at home, squeeze your protons together. So they don't split apart spontaneously. Mm-hmm. See, I'm doing it right now. Pinching, you pinch your skin a little bit, pinch your nipples. Right. Keep those protons together. That guy with all that extra skin.

He's a richest proton fucking keeper in the world. It's just what is that there's no difference. You hear someone talking about conserving anything. It's like, yeah, well, we better get ready for that fucking proton to K2, dude. I don't know. It's lurking out there. Um, okay, let's see here. Hey, Dick.

I am caught up with the show and it's great. Thanks. And I started to relisten because I have nothing else to listen to. That's this good, obviously. Yeah, true, true. I'm an episode 18 and I realized that the show also has a lot of relisting value, because I usually watch the show from,

you know, from formers and toxicators. Yeah, good, cool. I usually do the show in some form of intoxicated. I think. Still funny. Thanks, buddy. Look at this. Look at this gift we got.

I'm sure it has relic and value. Yeah. Thanks for the laughs. I hope you enjoy these mad blocks figures. Dave PS I have an idea for a bit for the show. It's called road rage Chicago to part two. I loved going to Chicago. I know that was a really fun show. That was great. Eat some great food Chicago everybody fucking like Chicago. Yeah. Ever hear anybody shit on Chicago? I don't.

No, I don't. Ever. People don't even shit on Cubs fans. You know, like, I mean, because it was always like that was like a white socks as a superior team as I described after going there. Yeah, well, I mean, Now they've both won World Series in recent history. Look at these madblocks figures that he's made.

They're little Lego mini-figs of a man in a banana suit, drinking a beer. Awesome. Yeah, and then a... Oh my God. A cowboy with a popsicle and a cookie. That is the hack go on. I don't know.

The frontway is there. Somebody needs a fly swatter. Yeah, he's got a pops, you know, he loves sweets, right? That's great. Man, there's ox, man. And then, and then Maddie Lott. Maddie Lott. It's got Maddie Lott.

It's got Maddie Lott. It's got Maddie Lott. Really vicious looking, little Lego lady. Oh my God, that's really, think care. It's really good. Yeah, it's sunken in eyes, the most grotesque face. What, how do he make, though? Like, you can make your own Lego characters or... No, you just buy, there's so many minifig parts

that all these parts existed separately. Well, that's what I mean. So you can just make them. Yeah. You just have to assemble them. That's fucking crazy that there's, even that. It's up in Anna. Well, I know. Well, that's amazing. There's also custom off-market,

there's guys who just make Lego, like AR-15s and stuff that would like them. Doesn't Lego try to fucking get after them? No, because you could do mega blocks since you could do whatever you want. You're just making the thing. Those are cool. Okay, last, let's do Two more three times the mental illness. Thank you, Dave. Is this missing a Draculax though? You got a complaint about something, don't you?

Well, Hey, Decaution. Hey, here's what makes me a rage. So about six months ago, I got solar on my house. And I got a ton of panels, like 20 panels. Wow. Right. Every month without fail, some solar salesman scooted up on his Segway scooter, comes up to my front door, rings the doorbell, and asked me, hey, do you want to save some money by buying solar? Bro, did you look at

my roof? Look at my roof. You're not fucking idiots. It's tiny, you can't hold up there. The solar panels. You see that I'm not causing climb crashes with this fucking roof. If my house had solar before ringing the doorbell, and you have to have it. If I want to buy solar. Yeah, I do. Come on in. I do.

Yeah. Get them all. Now are these the most efficient? I don't know. Anyway, go fuck yourself. Yeah. So when can you come out to put them on? Right.

Okay, that's good for me. Right. And you're gonna take these old ones off Nah, yeah, let them show up. Okay. Oh, yeah, you already have yeah I mean I figured you could see that and you were yeah, you know, I got more on. I don't want yeah more on You know put more on more on here we go I don't understand how anyone is mean to john wolf that guy is my fucking hero yeah not because i want to come on my pizza personally but try it i'm having a difficult time trying to convince

my girlfriend that of threesome would be mutually beneficial okay i can present to his friends to come to his fucking pizza party where but yeah a bunch of degenerates are gonna come and drop off on the pizza that I'm gonna eat it you know show up that guy's my fucking hero i don't have that party with second fucking

fucking cousin say that guy can convince anybody of anything god bless them now because he's convincing guys true true. True. I don't know Wolfgang Puck Neal was come on it. Oh, that's from five. That's true. Everyone is better pizza. I was going to be happy. That guy's my fucking hero. Did you catch that party's trying to convince his girlfriend that a three-season mutually beneficial? Right. That's where you're going, wrong. Yeah. It's all in her best interest. You actually lose on the deal. Yeah. So good luck. Um, a come pizza guy. I really want to talk to that guy again. We'll have to have him on soon. Yeah. I do want to next come

the Nancy. Um, you know, my nephew's going to listen to podcasts one day. Yeah. He probably will have to explain to them. A lot of things. Yeah. Uh, what were you going to say? We got to have a carton arcs. Oh, we got to have to explain to them a lot of things. Yeah. What were you gonna say? We got to have a carton arcs. Oh, we got to have carton arcs back on. I can't believe they did him dirty like that. I can cutting out his jokes. I can. Yeah, that's fucking fill. It's bastard. You rat bastard. You bald prick. I'm starving people in the world. We can't have we can't hassle people off carts. They're starving people. Next, we're gonna have a woman so fat she can't eat anymore. Can you believe it?

And her husband says she's a pig and looks at pornography. Oh, my God. And the cut reels husband going, while he's looking at pornography. She's too fat to see if her husband's looking at pornography on the computer next up next up these these little girls are so fat you're not going to believe it and they're getting bullied online people call them fat tits and fat bodies next up this little

fat boys mistaken for a fat woman they're starving people in Africa though. Yeah. But the audacity to be Dr. Phil, dropping that one on somebody, I mean, you're starving people in Africa. Who the fuck cares? He lost his shame a long time ago. Starting people in China, by the way, Phil, not Africa.

No one cares about Africa. I mean, it's been the, I mean, kind of the world's always said that, right? Yeah, when he cares, we're using them for anything. Who's taking over what country? Who's fucking got a military? Oh, I don't know. I can't keep track.

Don't care. Fuck it. At least China, we're causing harm. Yeah. Africa, we're not doing shit. All right. Goodbye, everybody. All right.

See ya. Thank you.