The Dick Show - Episode 293 - Dick on Missing Portugal

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Breaking my foot before Portugal, the worst Boomer wealth graph, Space Russia invades Space Ukraine, lesbian M&Ms, the right's abandoned spouse optics, bad advice for Valentine's Day, and Road Rage: 300 tickets are on sale; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Wow, it's good to see you. Yeah, you too. Because I didn't want to be seeing you today. Yeah. I have a whole adventure planned out. I know. I know. A whole adventure planned out.

Yeah. I mean, is it too much to ask? I got, I got done dirty yet again. What depends what you did. Check again. I've been getting dude dirty for like probably 39 years. And this is yet another done dirt out of 41. What year was not he did you not get dude dirty? I don't know. That's your friend. The year of Trump in 2019 2016 2016. You have to eat your book. I didn't have

to eat my book. I still don't believe that. I got my hat sign. You're going to eat your book every other year. Dirty, dirty, dirty, done dirty. And this is, no, this is the worst one yet. I almost, I almost, I was laying on the side of the road with my foot broken and my thought was not going to porch a golden in 20 hours. And my honest to God, my first thought was,

I'm gonna roll myself into traffic and kill myself. But you know what, Sean? You didn't? There was no traffic. I was out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Because you were dude dirty again. Because I was done dirty again. I'm like, well, I had this feeling like,

well, you know what, I'm just gonna kill myself. There was like a trucker strike or something, right? Backer strike, couldn't even roll in front of an 18-hour. That was the day they rolled out the hover trucks. I rolled, jumped in front of a truck, hover truck being a thing near. God damn it. I'm gonna ride over me.

I can't even kill myself right. I can't. I'm gonna start this show and then I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Hey. Hey. Hey. Ah. Hey, hey DICK. Ah.

DICK. It's just a...no one has been done dirtier than me. Ever. I-, I was sick. Madison, it gets $3 million man. Not really though. But my parts are put together with, with, with, Balsa wood and chalk and, I think you have bonitis.

I do have, really? I think you need, I think you need some boniva or geratol or whatever they get for. Jamie Lee Curtis is, actually, Tivia, I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna hand it in. I'm gonna go down to the Amazon train robbery and rap myself my mom's package of Octavia or whatever old late, I mean, excuse me, mom, whatever ladies of the evening.

Of the evening. Ladies of the evening. That would save a worse. Isn't that what you call? Don't know, lady of the evening of a prostitute. Oh, don't even talk to me about prostitutes. I'm so upset. Oh, lady of the night prostitution is legal and Portugal, Sean.

Is it? Didn't know that. And the age of consensually 14. Oh, oh, that's how you know it's a serious country. Here comes some letters. Cause 18, you're like, oh, well, now I got a shoot for 22. Right. I left the age in the kind of class.

I'm 18. I know you idiot's thing that's like, oh, yeah, that means 18. But yeah, but that didn't in real life, that means like 24. Okay. As I get older, that means like 30. So I have no fucking, I like, I don't know, 14, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, come on.

I don't know. That's my platform, QT's 2024. Let's put some, right. Let's put the something back in the something and legal drugs every which way. You know, you're right, this fucking, this input sucks. Ready, edge. You wanna switch?

Ruined the momentum? That's fine, go for it. I'll just talk to myself. Maybe I'll talk to God like I did on the side of the road. Is that you? That was me. Put me back in. Oh, I can handle it. Oh, you can handle it. I told you that one's bad. I've been dealing with that for a year as part of my deal

and dirty. It all sounds weird. It all sounds weird. Listen, I was hit by the way. I saw I drove home from the hospital whatever today the doctor the foot doctor today. You're gonna go back to the store that I'm beginning. I drove back from the foot doctor today. Yeah.

Moments before the show. Right. I see a one armed man. I see a one armed man running across the street at a yellow light trying to go in by cigarettes at the gas station. One armed man with an LA rams like cloth mask. Yeah. One armed fat man. one arm man with an LA Rams like cloth mask. One arm to fat man, huffing and puffing, looking all pissed off,

trying to clutch all his shit with one arm with a fucking mask on. With a fucking cloth, LA Rams novelty mask on. I rolled down the window and I said, hey, why don't you have a Margarita asshole? Okay. Do I get the joke? You didn't hear a Pataki said that? Everyone, everybody, everybody,

if you're upset about this, why don't you eat a margarita? Why? She said that. Biting's about the lady. That lady who's always like looking for her espresso. Yeah, yeah. She said, if you're a sub,

that have a margarita. Yeah, that's, you're like that, sure. And now you're not going to have solutions. That guy never wakes up and says, I'm going to Portugal today. I finally have something to look forward to. And then he gets his arm ripped off. His other arm.

Right. It's worse the way God fucks with you than when the, you know, by, by, by, get, letting you see the devil lets you have the thing you wanted. And then you get tired of it and then he rapes you. That's hell. God, lures the thing in front of you and then rapes you before you get it. Right.

That's the difference between those two guys. That's the only difference. You have to die to get it. Oh yeah, right. So, oh yeah, that devil guy's writing all kinds of scammy contracts, but that one, oh, I have to die to get it. Yeah, that sounds about right. This is promises promises. Let me see the good. Let me see a taste first there, Goddy boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You old Jewish pedophile. Oh, wow. He's the one putting buttles on little boys. Not me. You know, this is true butterflies turn into a goo. God doesn't interest. Yeah, exactly. Right. So must be on purpose. I had this a mate Ralph for some reason decided to go to Portugal.

Yeah, that's what it's like to me and the azeurs. I don't know if you say in that right. The a while this. Well, I said to them, but it's a banish shenyo I say the azeurs is yeah, a portrait piece is not Spanish. Okay. It's not if they don't park in the front yard. No, I don't know if they have cars up on blocks or not. It's actually these, it's actually a weird language to identify it.

You're Mexican. If you, remember the life aquatic was Steve Zisu. That come on. That's my favorite movie. I know, I know. I saw that twice. Well, you know like that guy is singing in Portuguese. He's singing David Bowie in Portuguese.

Yeah. You're like, it's not Spanish. What the fuck is it? Spanish. All right. So I give up. Ralph decides to go to Portugal. Yeah.

I thought he was just, I thought it was because he got out of his crimes, his court trials, whatever. Is this a pre, was he allowed to leave the country? He is now, he's got free. Oh, he means so it's done. Yeah, he's, he's, uh, free is a, free is a bird. Good for health. So he said I'm going to Portugal last minute and somebody in the comments said, oh,

I wanted to go. I don't know. Oh, okay. I'm out. I'm just, I'm looking to have a good time. Somebody says, well, dick go. I'm like, yeah, sure I'll go. Let's do it. Last minute, Portugal trip, buying tickets that morning,

blabby, blue, blabby, little box pops up on my tickets. That says, would you like to purchase ticket insurance? And I said, click the fuck know you idiot. You buys this shit. Right. It's a fifth of the price of the ticket. What kind of moron would buy travel insurance? What have I ever needed this?

Right? I know it's a scam, because it's so expensive. It was real insurance. It would be like 10 bucks. Okay. Right? What is the point of this?

Right. How many times you guys got fucking bailed out by me? This is a real thing, you're attempting to, this is an obvious, no, definitely don't need that. Ha, scoff at the idea. Presented to me again, so I may reject that again. This is starting to, I'm starting to see a pattern here. I think a lot of you started with the dog and the medical issues.

Well, I, I think the dog I tried to rape my dog in the shower like agent agent of Satan. My foot's broken by the way, everybody. Here's that. Let me pull it out. Let me pull up the X ray. Here's the X ray I got in the barrio. Look at this. Yeah, in the barrio, okay. Look at this. Well, this is never seen a break like that. Oh my God. There's an on the, it's on the meta, meta-tarsal right there. Well, don't you, aren't there like five meta-tarsals?

There's five, it's on the fifth one. Look at that shit right there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like my bone looks like a terranosaurus. Brrr, see? It does. Actually, and this thing out, put that up, bone looks like a terrain of sorace. Brrr, see? It does. Actually, and this thing out, put that up, put that on onlyfeet.com. Huh.

Huh. So you're like, God damn it. You gotta tell the story though. I mean, I don't even know how much this, I was walking my dog Friday morning, less than 24 hours before the big Portugal trip. And I'm all, I've had, it was like a perfect, perfect week to leave the dog and the wife at home. The last dog walk. Go off and go to museums with Ralph.

Yeah, that's what you guys are gonna do. Yeah, go to museums. Yeah, okay. And have little espresso's, you know. Yeah, where do you think you are? I mean, gentlemen. Whatever, yeah. Properly being gentleman.

And there I was walking my dog out in the middle of nowhere and a big, a thunderous herd of fat ladies came stomping around like from the ads, like from the self magazines, the future of fatness fitness ads came stomping around, I couldn't get out of the way. I said, treat for my dog and they said, did you say treat? And they started thundering and stomping over him.

You don't believe that one? Well, I mean, I'm waiting for them to... I rolled my ankle off the curb. No shit. And I heard one of those sickening cracks, you know, where it's like, fuck, I'm pretty sure that's, and it's not, it's the same feeling that you get like when you drop a box and you hear that. Oh my God, come on.

God, man, that's, I know that's an important piece. Yeah. I can't just bullshit my way through that one, right? Like that's a deep cut. I felt that break in all my other bones. God damn it. And I hit the ground and just thought, ah, come on!

Nah. There's a dog attacking you at this point. Yeah, licking, I got to game. Yeah. Ah, fuck. So I go on my phone. I'm not, I'm like, I know it's at that moment, I instantly know it's over because that's so wrong. Yeah. I know that sound. I've broken, I've broken every fucking bone in my body so many times. You've heard sounds. I've heard that sound. I've heard that sound over and over and over. It means fuck you, signed God.

Oh my God. Okay. So I get my phone out, no reception, of course. Okay. Yeah. So how far are you from the house? Two miles. Two miles straight uphill.

I went all the way down in the downhill. Oh, you went down? Yeah. To go down the back way. We're all kind of, oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, yep, yep. Up by where you watch the fireworks kind of, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, down there. Uh-huh. So I hop over to where there's reception, and you know, every jump is like jostling your, yeah, you can hear that fucking bone grinding together. And all I'm thinking is fucking refundable. Take it and drink. I didn't buy.

I get my phone service. Some in the Uber. Yeah, right? I start going out, by the way, I have a phone. I work. Oh, this is Friday. It's Friday. Okay. Yeah, some in the Uber, and I say,

oh, hey, by the way, I have a dog in no mask. Is that going to be a problem? And I see my phone battery is at half a percent. Oh God, my God. Okay. Well, okay. hilarious. Because I was up all night arguing with a woman

about prostitution on the kill stream. Yeah. Can you believe in this day in age? There are people and women who are anti prostprostitution, I believe anything in this. I'm gonna get fucking believe it. Women talking about getting married and then prostitution's bad. I'm like, what do you think the fucking house is for?

What do you think the fucking ring is for then? Anyway, I'm like, is that, are we back in the goddamn 90s? Or the 1890s? Yeah, more like that. You're arguing about what women should legally be able to do with their fucking bodies? You think they could do better than this? I'm sorry, but most of people are just holes.

The holes, you're either, most people are either put those there for a reason. Virginia wouldn't have put holes on people. The brain, everybody knows that. The brain is to get the holes somewhere where they can get money. Where they can get food for the holes. The money holes.

And the men are there for the backs. They co-summar to break the fucking backs. Or just away. Right, right, right. God, damn it, I'm having these. Why am I in this position of arguing for what is, for what is fucking obvious? God.

So I was up all night on the, I was up all night on the kill stream arguing. I forget why even why that even came up. I'm hobbling all night. So my yeah, so my phone got you're not, you're not in tip top shape. The next one. Should have just stayed in bed. That's the lesson is I should have drank more right. And now that I'm on four days sobriety,

because it fucks up your bones healing, I'm really starting to see that that has been my mistake this entire time. Is that right? You're like alcohol fucks with your bones? It's not being anything good. I'm not who knows now. The CDC is just saying,

maybe they've been lying the whole time. Maybe cigarettes are good for your bones. I don't know. I mean, maybe good for your bones. I don't know. I mean, maybe good for your bones, bad for your lungs. You know, by the way, road rage LA too is happening. Tickets are on sale on Patreon. March 5th, Nick McKinney is gonna be there. You should be there, right?

I think a bunch of the lawyers are gonna be the Keyons never even met Nick. That's fantastic. I'm gonna announce the venue in the day. It's downtown though. Well, what do you mean though? I mean, that's not- So you know where it is.

Yeah, it's not a bad thing. Well, you're like, it's downtown though. Well, so you know about where it is in LA. Like you get it at hotel. Yeah, yeah. Like don't get a place right on top of the venue because it might be, you're never gonna believe this. 80s girl got in this, is in this like,

social girls group on the internet. And social girls group on the internet. Yeah, on the internet. Yeah. That narrows it down. I don't want it to be narrowed down. And some poor Swedish exchange woman posted in that group

that she's worried about her hotel, downtown in LA, and posted a picture of it in the address. And there's like a hundred girls talking about how it's fine and it's great. So Aiti's girl says, you're in a shithole, you need to get out of there, it's dangerous. And they're like, assault, they're like, you're not, you don't even live in LA,

the homeless are fine, they wouldn't do anything. And she's like posting articles about homeless murders and all this, she's like, what are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? The fuck, you think the homeless are reading this thread and compared to 20 years ago? It's like Disneyland down there and there's still parts you don't wanna go in.

Yeah, yeah. So, Road rage LA too. Maybe we'll do Maddox's funeral. I don't know. I forget where he even was. So I'm hobbling with my dog. He's been in the fucking issue. My fucking phone is out of batteries.

I'm sitting there clutching my foot, knowing it's broken on the side of the road. And people are coming by one after another, all putting their face masks on and tightening them up as they go by it. I'm like, ah, this fucking dumb boomer couple puts their mask on and comes over, and goes, oh, what a beautiful dog.

Can we give you a dog a treat? I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like, what am I, is this a dog museum that you've walked? You know, I'm a real person, right? I'm a real boy. Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. It wasn't until I got, thank God,

the Uber guy finally shows up. Yeah. He told me, you know what, if he says, go fuck yourself, you can't come in without a mask and with your dog, I'm just gonna hold my breath until I die. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what to do.

I can't get, I can't possibly summer salt my way home from here. And I don't feel like even being alive anymore because I missed this trip once again, once again. You're gonna leave on Saturday. See, I have it worse than the one arm guy because he doesn't have the ability to plan a trip to Portugal. I do. Why doesn't he have the ability to plan a bum?

Oh, he's literally a bum. Yeah. He was literally a bum, okay. I thought it was just a one hour guy. It's worse to have it my way where you can, and then you do, and if you miss it, and you don't get your fucking money back. Right, right, you have the ability to, yeah.

My way, it's better. It's better. It just, to me, it's better just not to have the ability to climb out of the gutter. That way you're never disappointed. Yeah. And you don't know. You're never disappointed. That guy's getting cigarettes.

God is LA Rams mask on. He's having a great day. There's going to be people in 20 years like when World War II ended, like the Japanese hidden troops like up in trees. Oh, yeah. A couple of them. Yeah, I didn't, yeah, because they didn't know the war is over.

Yeah, there's going to be like that, but for masks. Last for so many years, like in the 70s, a bomb's going to have a cloth mask on. Where's your like, I mean, even the CDC says the clouds master bullshit. Like that's, you don't have to do that anymore.

And we're like, what? Well, I mean, there's going to be people, that's a joke, but they're people, there are, I mean, there's gonna be people, that's a joke, but there are people, there are. I mean, that's a joke. There are people who I think really, really like them. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't have to put it, yes.

That's who I've heard it from. Did you see how people are saying like you're more attractive with a mask? Because there's mystery. What do you, no, you, that's what they say about Berkis. And like the Middle East. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I live in a way more industry.

You can only see their eyes. It's like, I guess. I mean odds are you're going to be very disappointed. Yeah. So I'm there at a dog zoo with boomers walking back and forth. Oh, hi, how's it? Oh, what a lovely dog. I'm like, do you guys, have you ever seen a person like this

curled up on the side of the fucking road? Yeah, I don't know, you must've been playing it off pretty good. I don't know. I guess I'm not doing anything ever again. But then they, so the Uber driver was like, yeah, cool. Yeah, cool. Oh, God bless you, sir. I'm gonna, there's gonna be a civil war in this country.

With nukes and stuff shooting off. I'm gonna have people gonna be killing, burning, support, Hillary supporters in the street. I'm gonna have a broken foot for all that. I'm gonna be watching that, like Bart in the summer episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watching people go outside. I can't participate.

I can't participate in the civil war. Which is all you've ever wanted. And on top of all this, I think my dog is pregnant. What? I think that my dog was in heat over the two years. Yeah, your dog hasn't been checked out. Her nips. Her nipples are like human size. No way, they do that.

What do you mean they go through? If they go through a couple of heat cycles, they get bigger. Really? Yes. That's going to go away. Not necessarily. I don't like it. The shrink. It's too much. No, it's too much nipple action. It's because they got to, they used to see it's better to wait now. Like they say, you know, biologically, because biologically, there's more CDC. No, no, no, this is horse shit. This is a, this is biology. I mean, obviously they've evolved a certain way, right? You're dog biologically. God, no, God made them like that.

They need by not getting their nuts chopped off. Yeah. My dog's even getting it in time. She doesn't have nuts. I know, but you know, same thing for the girls. I mean, they get, you know, hormones are right in each of the sexes, but yeah, if you let them, if they go through a couple of heat cycles,

they, their nipples will get bigger. And then, and when they do get them fixed, they probably will shrink, but not as small as they would have been. So now you have a disfigured dog. You know, what I've done? You know what I, you know what I thought when I broke my foot? What? I could feel the, all the hookers fading away like back to the future, like the picture of Martin McFly's sisters and brothers. Exactly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He finally gets fuzzy on stage and he starts playing.

He's like, oh, man. Yeah, no, he looks over. Yeah, and he stands up ring, you know. Ralph even removed me from his Portugal image logo. Oh, no, like Stalin. I got Stalinized. Let me see if he's there. Everyone out there is living their best life except me Like Stalin. I got Stalin eyes. Let me see if he's there.

Everyone out there is living their best life except me, Sean. That's my point. Is our people living their best life? They have a fun game for you. Yeah, okay. Do you think if you put Martin Luther King, junior quotes, next to like things at Target that are printed on wooden on throw pillows,

do you think people could pick out like who's who, you know? Wait, between Martin Luther King and like a Target. Oh, you mean just inspirational saying? Yeah. No, no, this, this MLK day hit differently, I guess. I don't know why. It seems like it's just a day for all the people on the right to post about like, oh,

it's not, doesn't matter the color of your skin. It's just like, like, yeah, that's an MLK day today. Now, last week, last week, this is great. I was out of town. I don't give a fuck. I didn't care what day it was. I just feels like all like Marley, the king was like, maybe the first guy to ever do chicken soup for the teenage soul or whatever that book was chicken soup for the soul. Yeah. Let me see if Ralph is in here. Ralph, are you there? What's up, man? Can you hear me? How are you?

Oh, you sound fantastic. What's up, Ralph? How you doing? You're making me sick. I'm doing great. Chalice. Oh, dude, great, man. You're chopping up a little bit,

so I was trying to see if I can hear you, but it sounds okay now. Cool. Am I still good? Yeah, you're good. You sound great. Okay. Okay.

How's the trip been so far? Please say horrible. Actually, it's been awesome. It's been, I'm so sad that you couldn't make it, man. But yeah, it's been great. The first day, five people try to sell me coke in the middle of the street. Oh, I love saying. I love saying.

Five feet. I didn't accept, of course. Yeah, man, it's been great just the whole architecture of the city, the vibe here. Would they give you a hand job on the side? Here's an eight ball. Would you like a hand job? I'll throw that in for free. A little bit of prostitution on the side.

Some of them are really pushy actually about trying to sell you cocaine. And one of them, my best favorite kind of co-feeler. Why are they so aggressive about it? Because they want your money. What do you mean? I mean, well, one of them, I think that's pretty illegal, right? Right out in the open. Yeah, it's legal.

Well, not, it's legal here. Yeah. What? Coke is legal and Portugal. So, bro, it's legal. Well, not. It's legal here. Yeah. Yeah. What? Coke is legal in Portugal. Bro, heroin is legal. Unbelievable. It's like a real country with adults. He's drunk. Oh, I had no idea. Oh, even Pussies legal. Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, come on. Not regulated at all. Really?

Yeah. Yes. They put those bitches on a truck scale every day. When they look at their houses. They put those bitches on a truck scale every day. I think they're out of the it. You know, I was thinking though, what were you doing, man? You just had to make it a couple more hours to get on the flight. Yeah. No, I know.

I was trying to fuck my dog. He texted me so excited. Oh, he texted me so excited that morning. He's like, I got my PCR test back. I'm ready to go. I hadn't even taken my test yet. Like I thought I might have COVID or something. You know, I thought I was going to be the one with bad luck. Yeah. And then he texted me a couple. I shouldn't laugh because not, I mean, it is. It's very funny. It's not funny.

It's hilarious. He said, I don't know if you were in the street when you texted me or just right after you've got an Uber But yeah, it was right away. Yeah, oh dude man, and I was trying to go ahead and then while my phone was charging I went to an An urgent care to get X-ray and they said oh because of COVID we don't have our X-ray guy around all the time So he kind of hops around What is this a fucking RPG? I gotta go to each one. Can you tell me where he is? Like nah, he's real fucking mysterious, that X-ray guy.

What can I do with? I'm pretty sure I know how to press X-ray and put a lead curtain over my nut sack. Not that I ever need anything that's coming out of there anyway. By the way, I kept holding out hope. I was talking like maybe you could come still, but and thinking, you know, if you got enough strength, maybe you could go ahead and do it. But honestly, after 15 minutes in the city, there is so much walking.

I mean, straight uphill. Like, I mean, it is severe in Clons man. There's just a cobblestone built in like 20, you know, 12 vote to or some shit. I love cobblestone. I love Cobblestone. You didn't know how to do it. Yeah. You're really reminding me of how happy I was when I sent you the message that I got my COVID test.

Like I scheduled an appointment. I went in and I even, I was planning on just jamming the Q tip. Like I was planning on opening it up and just putting the Q tip in the receptacle and not sticking it up. I know at all. But because nobody's at the testing center, they have like these broads putting their spots and noses on the glass of your car to make sure you do it right. So he's like 15 seconds at each nostril.

So I'm like, kind of put it in the middle and tried to hover it around. Right. Not getting because I just head COVID. I was like, well, fuck, I don't want to, you know, accidentally fuck up. I don't want to accidentally fuck know, accidentally fuck up, I don't want to accidentally fuck up this trip somehow. Exactly. Well, you just did have it.

So like, yeah, I would, I would try to fucking finagle it too. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, fuck it. And then my girlfriend said that if you don't shove it in your nose, it comes back as inconclusive. Oh, so I don't know. Comes back for teenage pregnancy.

Might as well have been. Yeah. Might as well have been. Yeah. Might as well have been. Might as well be a teenage pregnant. What have you seen any cool stuff? Ralph, everything. Yes, I went to, yeah, the, oh, everything's best city I've ever been to. Now, honestly, it is probably like it's so much cool stuff.

Like, I mean, drugs are legal, horrors are legal. I was smoking a Cuban cigar just out in the open today. They're freely available anywhere you want. But yeah, it's pretty great. I will say the Wi-Fi situation's not that great. So I haven't been able to stream like I want and stuff like that. But you know, I'm not in Lisbon every week. So I have to take the week off, so be it.

I'm honestly thinking about flying to Madrid on Wednesday because my boy Sergio here, has got some connects there. And so I was originally gonna go to the A's orch. Remember we were gonna go out there to Syria, but I might just go to Madrid. I'm not sure, I haven't decided yet. So maybe the European capital or.

Just play it by ear. Play it by ear. Just play it by ear. Well Ralph, I have to figure out how to get coffee from upstairs and take my, if I'm gonna sit all day in my bed with my computer or go get coffee and take 20 minutes to go up the stairs and then come down the stairs.

That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. Here's how he does it. Honey, coffee, now! You can hear me at work. I'm screaming so loud. Here's what I'm doing. I'm kind of playing it loose like maybe my elderly shower stool

that I ordered off Amazon will show up today and not get robbed by train bandits in LA for a second time. For a fucking second time, which I should have had today. Oh, dude, you know what? Yeah, you know what the worst thing is? It's such a freak thing. As soon as I announced I was going, guys like Sergio here with, come out of the woodwork, say dick, you want to have an awesome time.

What's your secret? Here we go. Like, let me know he's like, oh man, what a fucking perfect storm this is. You mean you're going to give me the inside track on how to have fun with legal drugs and whores and Cubans of cars and museums? Not for you. I flew two boats in the sun. I was saying it was, once you, so it was, it was kind of hard.

When I got to customs, the line was about a thousand deep. So I had to wait a while to get in, but when you, like when I got up there, they didn't, they didn't look at anything. I don't even think they looked at my name. They literally just opened it up and stamped my shirt. Unbelievable, come on in. Once you get in Portugal, you can go anywhere

and they eat you. Really? So I don't have to go through customs again. Yeah, you don't have to go through customs again. You can just go to any EU country now. Yeah. So that's why I'm thinking about going to Spain while I'm, you know, while I'm in the area. So I would just pop over there. Yeah. It We can find that. Yeah. Yeah. It's been fun. I hate that you miss it. It makes me sad, dude, because that's, oh, dude, it was going to be so much fun. But, man, we can still come back.

Maybe we have to do it maybe in the summer or later this year. You know what, though, you know what? I've heard that it's a little, it has been a little overcast there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that too. Yeah, so I mean, it's probably better you could just stay at home. Yeah. Yeah, that's a little way. The place we rented, the place that we rented by the way everything the place that we rented is on my Airbnb account

That was right. I get constant notifications of how much fun I'm missing out on isn't your name shit on Airbnb though They still take my money still good. Yeah, that's true So every day it'll pop up like oh are you ready to check out or how's your stay? And I'm going to go, oh, you're about to get your filing. So I throw my phone upstairs. Maybe I won't have to get it. Sometimes Ralph does something, every time Ralph does something, it comes up as prompting you. That's fucking hilarious.

No, the spa isn't even, they said that they, their spa is broken on the rooftop, palatial apartment that we were saying. So really what's even the point? I mean, true. With that dog shit, that's dog shit. Uh, okay. Well, Ralph, thank you for calling in.

Is that you? Thank you, man. I mean, my connection's bad. I would say more, but like every other word is kind of dropping out. Let me let Sergio, he wanted to talk a little about you. Okay. Sergio. And yeah, and my quick rage is shitty Wi-Fi actually. So, but yeah, man, I hate that you missed the trip,

but I'll do good reports and keep you informed on all the shitty trip that you're missing. That's what you want. Here you go, Sergio. Take pictures of the toilets and stuff. Don't take any. Hey, you Sean. Hey, Dick. Hey, what's up, Sergio? Hey, uh, hey, sorry, I, are you here to rub in the awesome trip that I'm missing? Also, please do. No, I was going to say actually your absence here has given us an incredible task of pulling your weight as far as talking all of these hot European chicks and drinking all of this beer.

And, you know, it's a difficult task, but we're going to be able to make it. We're going to pull through for you. Oh, that's good. I hope that the beers give you STDs, both of you. Why did I think Sergio was going to have an accent? Yeah, me too. What are you from? Sergio.

I'm an accent. I'm Spanish. That's Spanish accent. No, the East to Spain. Is that right? I said you were American. I'm not the East of Jersey. Yeah.

Is that true? You know, what's true and what's false? You can say. Oh, boy. All right. But I can tell you, I can tell you what's false? You can say. Oh, great. All right. But I can tell you, I can't tell you how much fun it is to live here in my home content at the Europe. Oh, man.

I was going to set up a whole crypto shop there, Sean. I was going to burn my US passport. Never come back. Well, yeah, just move around the union and just start working. And then you're like, Oh, here you go. You can live here. I was going to dig a hole and just live in that. Well, you probably, it's probably,

I don't want to try to fuck with me. I would stab them in there. It's ankles. Good policy for you anyway, can you do this? Just dig a hole and live in it. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna try to go, if you want me to go anywhere, you gotta come to my house and dig up my hole with me

in it like a plant, put it in the back of my truck and then drive me there with my hole. Right, like Oscar the Grouch. Yes. I'm a living at garbage can. Right. Sergio, does anything make you a rage? Yeah, actually, it's pretty similar to what you were talking about, but a little bit

different. It's something that I like to call the Don Juan Dream. Okay. And this starts when American chicks get an idea into their head that they're going to move to Spain and they're going to start teaching English and they're going to meet Antonio Bendeiras or somebody over here is going to sweep them up off their feet. All right. And if the reality is Spanish guys like me are typically built kind of twiggy, the standard gut, kind of they look like they, we excuse me,

look like those aliens from men in black, the worm looking once. Oh yeah. There's a 40% on the right here. So it's hard to pick a winner. Wow. And our moms do our laundry until we turn 35 or we get married. So the reality tends to set in pretty quickly for these chicks. First of all, they're disappointed, which they could have gotten at home for free and not

spend in the whole summer up here teaching English, wasting all that time and money. And it also guesses that stuff. Why are there so many jobs teaching English? Wait, wait, why are there so many jobs of people teaching English? That's the only work you can get here. If you have a pulse, you can teach English in Spain or Portugal. I promise you that. Otherwise though, you're going to be delivering food or selling drugs on the street.

There's, yeah, you know, it's a booming economy, just not for guys like us. Well, okay. So, I'll wrap this up. All of this falsity, all of this inflated ego that we get and all of the disappointment that we fill these chicks up with. It's a perpetual cycle because they go home, they forget about it. And then the next wave of chicks comes in to take the same teaching jobs over and over. That's what makes me a real.

No, it's like the man eating chicken. Like you got like the carnival has the joke of like, Hey, man eating chicken, pay a nickel and you go in there and into man eating chicken and everyone's pissed and they say, Hey, how about this? How do you like to trick your friends? Go out there and try. It's amazing. That's right. You're in the inside.

That's women teaching Europe and meeting a set like the as soon as their feet touch American soil, they did fuck Antonio bandaires. Yes. And they're telling all their friends about it to trick them. Yeah. That's my uncle. Yeah. The chicken man is all their friends about it. To trick them. And to do the same thing. That's my uncle. Yeah. The chicken man is your uncle.

All right. Sir, do you have that racket? I hope I see you. I'm going to give Ralph back now. Okay. I want to say one more thing. I forgot to mention it. Okay.

The Sal George Castle. It used to be a morsh castle. By the way, I don't know if people know, but the morsh used to run this city. It's run as well. It was like their last, yeah, that was their last holdout and almost died walking up there because it's so up hill. I mean, my fat ass walking up there almost had a corner, but I did make it up there. And it was so beautiful. You can see the whole city, those pictures that I took of the whole city were up there in that castle. Definitely

suggest that the Rua Augusta Arch that whole square there is great and Samaritan hits the museums and stuff. I just wanted to get much travel log because I actually had it written down here and I forgot to mention it. Thank you so much for having us on and we'll run it back sooner or later. So you carrying me to these places was not an option because I entertained that for a minute. No, dude. No. Well, I actually told him I was like, we could get a wheelchair and roll you around like Tonka, but man, dude, I could barely, I could barely, no, dude, I could barely even walk

my big ass up there. There was no push. If anything, we both would have died me trying to push you up these, you smile. He's mad. It would have been right. It was insane. The end of naked gun. Yeah, right?

Norbreg. B naked gun. Yeah. Right. Norberg. Yeah. Yeah. Does a fan of have a good one. Thanks for calling it. Thank you, man. See you. Yeah. Well, it, uh, you know, it sounds like the trip of a lifetime. And, you know, it's important to grab those opportunities while you can because you just never know when you're going to get the opportunity again. So I'm glad he was able to, I'm glad he was able to capitalize on it. Can you believe it?

Oh, sorry, you hear? Yeah. You got, well, you got to be, what's really important to me is the capital of opportunities and traveling, like yeah, me too. That's really would be great. Oh, if you're in Australia?

No. No. I was thinking about that the other day. I was thinking about that the other day. I was thinking about that the other day. And I was like, wow, wow, that really, that really went wrong. What was it like being famous? Amazing.

At that brief time. Crazy. Oh God, we had a new episode of the biggest problem the universe. God, God deleted by YouTube for medical misinformation. Because I, oh wait, wasn't this, this wasn't, this was like a two weeks ago, right? Today, the episode that went up today,

God deleted yesterday, well, the one we recorded on Friday, whatever it was. Right. God deleted for medical misinformation. Because I think I said that Bob Sagitt died from a COVID, from a vaccine heart attack and it's in hell or something like that. Which is obviously a joke.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't, what I'm saying is not information. It's just buffoonery and opinion. Like nothing that I say is information. No, this is, yeah. So you can say, you can ban it or delete it for whatever reason, but it's not misinformation because it is not is not pretending to be information. I guess just buffoonery. I guess they don't listen to the show. I mean, I would love to see the quote

that was out that like try to slice that. I don't care how many ellipses you have to make what I said. Yeah. Not preposterous on its face. Take out the hell of vaccine heart attack. He's a vaccine heart attack and his heart attack serum and his burning in hell. Yeah. Like show me exactly what the quote was. So it's, it's funny because Vito was the one trying to flag those super popular guys. Yeah. There's why it's so funny because Vito was the one trying to flag those super popular guys. Yeah, there's why it's so funny because Vito tried to buck over super popular guys for having Alex Jones on and not pushing back. Yeah.

On our show, he pushes back constantly and we get immediately removed. That's funny. Isn't it funny? Yeah. So. Do the whole up. Yeah, I guess. That's funny. Isn't it funny? Yeah. So. Ha ha ha ha ha. Do the whole up. Yeah, I guess. I mean, how do you get, how do you get?

How do you have anything anymore? How do you build anything when you're getting constantly when nothing's from left and right? Nothing's a joke and nothing can just be hyperbole anymore. Because sometimes I don't have any information. Let me throw that one out. Sure. In case anyone, in case anybody was curious, a guy with a 5,000 subscriber channel arguing about finger pain and shit that are too big and having a small penis doesn't have any

information for you. Like I said, they probably don't listen to the show. Maybe they'd like it. They don't understand if they did. Yeah, they would. I don't know if I have any information for you at all, Sean. You want to fuck M&Ms? You ever wanted to fucking M&M before? No. Well, now you can. Really? About that. Now you can. One of those characters included in a furry convention or something. What's something? One of them's a gay. One of them's a he, she or something like that. She's got sneakers. so they're vaccinated. The M&Ms are.

Sneakers? Yeah, the lesbian M&Ms. That's about the sneakers. I don't know. Lesbian M and M. You know, let's just do fat watch. Yeah, come on, fucking geared up. Is this the new M&Ms?

They got new M&Ms. They got new M&Ms. They got new M&Ms and I wouldn't know except all these grown men on the right are like losing their minds about fucking M&Ms. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The entire right wing online has become a battered spouse that Trump abandoned. That's what dad went to go by cigarettes and now it's millions of men. No, I know.

Like try to... But we did all this, I tried to make you happy. The M&M's are less than you anymore. The LAMM's a less than you. Yeah, yeah, I don't give a fuck. You guys fucking retarded. Yeah, who cares? Oh yeah, fuck that M&M, right.

That's all you need to know. Both of them, I'd fuck that retarded M&M. Guys, you talking all about low T? You're exhibiting some real low T right now. I'm not fucking that M&M. Certainly some crazy mood swings. That M&M being a lesbian is not a problem. It's your fucking non-magical dick.

That lesbian's gonna ignore is the problem. That's the fucking problem. Son, I don't know, is this? Yeah, this is the lesbian's M&M. Oh yeah, Miss Brown and I. Look at this, Sean. This bitch is the lesbian's M&M. Oh yeah, Ms. Brown and I. Look at this, Sean. This bitch is a lesbian too. Ms. Brown and I get to spend time together, Ms. Green.

Okay, so they're not Ms. Ms. Ms. Brown, Ms. Green, so they're is it an interracial couple? And aren't they all? And one of them is wearing glasses. Oh, yeah, look at that hot Look at those. Oh, I'm gonna bring those sexy M&M's up. So everybody could see Popping boners. There were like one of them's wearing like boots and those were in like heels. Yeah, oh there we go

I'm trying both wearing gloves. It's always a little weird to me. What are they? They're wearing gloves. No, that's a cartoon thing like Mickey always. I know, I know. Yeah, I don't know why. Somebody figured out that cartoons always got a wear gloves. Yeah, goofy wears gloves, doesn't he?

All the Disney's, except for Donald, doesn't wear gloves. No, no, no, no. His wings can curl into fists. I know that. Those are wings? No, he actually always has arms, doesn't he? I don't know if I've ever seen him. No, no, no, he always has arms.

Where the fuck is Scrooge McDuck's wings? Does he not have them? I don't know. He's got a little butt towel. That's right, they all have fucking wings. They don't have wings. They never act like ducks, do they? Really.

No, they never spread their wings out and doing things. So their hands must be their wings. Yeah. What the fuck, kind of duck? What the fuck? He doesn't even really have feathers on his arms. They're just white. And the right wing's gonna lose in their minds about the wrong thing.

They should be worried about Scrooge McDougs, no wings. I needed to take a look at Donald. Okay, let's check about. And then we'll do fat watch. Donald Duck. You can't draw him in your sleep. Yeah, look, no wings. So he, okay, I'm thinking feathers,

so he does have like a, the old, I hate when Google images does that. Yeah. You fucking cock suckers. So he's got a fluffy feathery butt. I see, I see the goddamn image. I want the image, I click on it, redirect, God damn you. Same fucking thing, isn't it?

Yeah, he just has thick white arms and hands. Open the image in a new tab. You fuck, you miserable SEO fucks. Yeah, he's got white, those aren't wings. No, no, no, no, there it must be. Well, I mean, that's what they would be. That's where they would be, but. Well, all right, okay.

Well, good. And I've got a clear mental picture. Okay. A day in fat news. Did you miss fat watch? Yeah. But we did it last week though. Oh yeah, we did do it.

We did do it. We didn't miss anything. Yeah, we missed being here while doing it. Yeah, I mean, it's always better here. Yeah, it is. Okay. Here's a fat watch. Let's see about this one. Allison, tommon calls for writers and showrunners to avoid jokes about weight. I promise they aren't funny. She's a little too fat to be saying that. I, me thinks, Emmy Award nominee, blah, blah, blah, asking writers to avoid making jokes about characters bodies,

especially when it's in relation to their weight. It's the self-park, Jimmy Volmer comedy in the future. Oh, yeah. Where everything's just like, so you have seen that now. Yeah. Tell me, the greatest part of the second half of the COVID special is when Cartman, Abandon's, is when Cartman puts his faith in God and that's what totally destroys him. Yeah. He says, have faith in God and his life is totally ruined because of that in the actual

real future. Yeah. That was brilliant to me because he is obsessed to the point of his own destruction of controlling his faith. And the second, he's never said it the second time You know, I got a I got a band in my I'm putting my safe in God. I got a life destroyed And it's and his wife bucks him over with that Oh, yeah, and it's so cruel. Yeah, coke drunk fat. Oh, yeah, they were really knifeed everybody in the back

Yeah, yeah, it was good. It was good. I love that ending so much when people were pissed about it. It's like, now you hear and say, I gotta have faith in God. Mm, mm, mm. Yeah, I have faith. That's not you, buddy. I'll have this life.

I just believe. Yeah. Jokes about weight. Don't have to be jokes about a character's body. They can also include making mention of the numbers on a scale. What someone eats, what size their clothing is, exercise and movement. Jesus Christ. Fucking, it's crazy. That shit's got a fucking stop. Riders and showrunners, they aren't funny, even if they were, yeah, I guess it really is. Like, there's going to be no jokes about they're taking out gay jokes,

family guy dropped gay jokes. Really? Yeah, a while ago, we're not doing any more gay jokes. Really? Except they said it like we're not doing any more gay jokes. So I don't know. Yeah.

Well, we're not gonna say the jokes about weight should be off limits. Yeah, sure, why not. I'm not saying you shouldn't use adjectives, but please don't say Linda, the main character's cousin, thin and witty, unless there's an actual reason Linda needs to be thin. Well, yeah, like you're on the visual medium of television.

That's why. So if somebody's thin, you know they have some sort of self-control, you know, with their eating. Is this still hurt, okay? You know, they're on the, yeah. Please don't say fat lady in theater. When you mean annoying lady in theater? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, mean annoying lady in theater, no, but I want to be fat, because fat people like have impulse control

and you can see even children can see that they can't control themselves with their mouth and anything going in it. That's what I want to put in the visual medium. Right away, oh boom, got it. Oh, pal, man. Like how Miss Piggy is a pig. Yeah fat and annoying. Right. That's why right because she doesn't There's no chance someone will like her. She is a fucking pig. So she's just abrasive and lit and rude. Right that's the visual media

Like that you're in you dumb bitch overly letterless and also a total prima donna and a prima donna Total prima donna and you, she's not talented, because she's a fucking pig. Right, right? As soon as she says, where's my next thing, Kermit? Like, well, I know that you're not a kid. I know you don't deserve it,

because you're a fucking pig. So I know that this is misplaced. No. I always liked her and Gonzas thing. Yeah, totally. Because I don't think she could tell if he meantonzas thing. Yeah, totally. Cause I don't think she could tell if he meant it or not. Yeah, I don't think she could tell if he was doing a bit. Maybe he couldn't.

Maybe not, well that's honest. Yeah. Here's an Instagram thing. Oh Jesus Christ. What the fuck? I honestly, I couldn't tell what I was looking at. First, it's a bean bag. First, no, first I thought it was just nothing but an ass.

And then I was like, oh no, wait. I can tell by the, well, clearly she's just some annoying lady in the theater. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Can you imagine like you're writing a script fucked like I'll just leave out the fat. Oh annoying lady in the theater. Right. Oh, she comes over and like makes a joke about like eating your snacks. That's like just some skinny lady that they cast. Right. Well, what's the joke? There's fucking all of oil over here. Just fucking constantly rating my pantry. Yeah. I accidentally ate my movie ticket except it's like sweet D.

Oh no, I accidentally ate my movie ticket. Right. Why is that funny? No, it's not. You can be annoying, but if you're fat, the fat is always the first descriptor. Yeah. What is this?

This is Ash fat lip. What is your name? She's? This is Ash Fatlip. Is your name? Oh, she's not, can you call herself that? Yeah, because the lip is the least fat, fat is part of her. She's got a fat forehead. Yeah. Ash, in finif first.

Just in finif first of December. To describe herself as fat. Oh, this is old. Okay, somebody gave me an old thing. Well, whatever. Does that mean? Yeah, in this month we feature in Finifat, size six X people of all genders,

because representation is so important. In Finifat is what that, that's a, that's a classification of enormous people. Yeah. Finifat? In Finifat, like Infinity. How about rolling future corpse? Yeah.

I don't know, it doesn't have the same ring to it. First tag me to be featured in my stories today. All right. Well, oh, in finifers. That's like it. They slim the model down though compared to what we just saw. Yeah, they did. If that's in finifat, that's, you know, let me see what you got up here recently. Oh, my Christ. Honey, sweetie you know, let me see what you got up here recently. Oh my gosh. Christ. Honey, sweetie. Honey, sweetie baby. Well, this is fetish, right?

I mean, I don't think so. I think it's just about being like fat power. I don't hate these dogs. He's got these two dogs. I've seen this. It's a memoriam post. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The power is out for a couple minutes.

Adopting rescue pit bulls because no one'll miss them, you know, that's. I have that. That one dog is looking at the camera, just like help, help. It's trying to blink and Morse code. Oh, okay, baby. We got one more here. Let's see. If you don't find fat people attractive, it's because of white supremacy.

Okay. That's, I'm open to, I'm open to the next one. I can't write fat people attractive. It's because of white supremacy. Okay. I'm open to the explanation. That's like a count, right? Lives of TikTok. No, I think we're going to. No, I think we're going to. Posts like psychos from TikTok. It's an aggregator account.

Oh, so they're, they're reposting. Oh, so these psychos. The psychos are posted for real. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. You know, I got to subscribe to 10,000 psychos all day. And they can send me, so you need somebody to put the news together for you. Yes.

Some kind of aggregator. Here we go. The undesirability of that people is a myth. Sold to us by what it's a premises. Oh, so that we purchase their diet products. Oh, and we continue to try to reach an unadpienable ever shifting beauty. Okay, all right, that wasn't that funny. Yeah, because nobody's actually ever seen to try to reach an unethaneable ever shifting beauty. I don't know. Okay.

All right. That wasn't that funny. Yeah. Because nobody's actually ever seen that unattainable, you know, beauty ideal, you know, walking around the public. Yeah. We've never seen that. It's just all in our minds.

It's unattainable. Don't you understand? You just need to go back to like 1970 before high fructose corn syrup was in like everything you eat. And you had to get up to change the TV, right, to change the TV channel. Right. Okay. Maybe I got one more. We hate fats. Let's see what these people have to say. Okay. Oh, I can not zoom in because I'm not logged in. Oh, okay. Yeah, I can't log in. All right.

We'll do more next week. That's been Fat Watch, everyone. Thank you for... That part! In FinnaFat. In FinnaFat, you ever heard that? Today I learned, no, I've never heard in FinnaFat before. What a...

In FinnaFat's dog. In Phinephat. Oh, you gotta hear this one. That's amazing. In China, Fight Club redid the ending. They redid the ending for Fight Club. Really? Yeah, hold on.

It's pretty funny. Cause you know, on Fight Club day, like blow up all the credit card companies, or whatever they say they do. They blow up all those buildings, you know? Right. So they change the, they changed the ending to fight club In China in theaters after before the buildings blow up this pops up It says through the clue provided by Tyler Durden the police rapidly figured out the whole plan and

The police rapidly figured out the whole plan and arrested all criminals successfully preventing the bomb from exploding. So they put this up like before the buildings blow up. Yeah. They just stopped the movie and they put this up like faded in like it's the ending. Like it's the epilogue. And then they never show the buildings blowing up. Yeah. After the trial, Tyler Durdin was sent to a lunatic asylum receiving psychological treatment.

He was discharged from the hospital in 2012. Right. And now it's a good obedient worker. That's not happened in the book, though. Oh, I never read the book. Oh, and the book he messes up his bomb. Oh, he does? Yeah, he messes up his bomb.

Oh, and he goes, he goes into an insane asylum. Well, so that is they took the book ending kind of. No, I think they did. They coincidentally arrived at, well, I'm sure somebody read the book over there. How? I'm sure it's been translated. About China makes, I don't know about that. I wouldn't.

There's got to be some black market, a black market book translation. Sure, sure, sure, sure. On the internet. Pretty funny. It's closer though. get to black market book translation. Sure, sure, sure, sure. On the internet. Pretty funny. It's closer though. In the book, the narrator, gone totally insane. Yeah.

And members of Project Mayhem are running the asylum. Like, they're still the orderly guys and stuff. Oh, because they're so right. And you got to it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get ending. That's cool.

Movie ending was cool too. I don't know. I liked it. Yeah. I always wanted to read the book, but well now you have never did. I didn't know I didn't know. I have to read books. No, I know. I know time for it. Okay, let me read comments. Road rage Delay two tickets.

The Fence sale. March 5th. Yeah, oh, this should be a great place. This is expensive too. Really? What's it called? I can say and so. Yeah, yeah, don't, right.

You know, I got all that, I got double credit from last show that got canceled. Yeah. It's really, it's hard to even remember how fun life was in the run up to the last LA show. Yeah, I know. Totally different vibe. It's true.

Totally different. Everybody was happy online. Everything was, it was totally different world. But you remember, they canceled my show so they gave me a double credit on that peer space thing. All their venues are still shut down, so I didn't get to use the credit. Really fucking thing. I didn't pay more. Anyway, comments. Coming around. Yeah, I was was gonna say you're saving money probably staying home this weekend though me Yeah, I mean you'd be probably really blown it out on drugs and fun overseas so Yeah, now I spend I

Could spend all that money ordering grub hub. Yeah Really great you'll be pushing that fucking infinite fat. I am a fat as hell. Well, not a fennifat. Have to keep this fat. Maybe I will. You could try harder. I'm just giving up.

I'm giving up the battle of anorexia. Oh, okay. I'm letting anorexia win. Yeah. Giving up. Well, you're chasing that unattainable ideal. I got to be in this boot for six to eight weeks. No shit. So it should come off the day of Roadrage LA. So my arms will be as skinny

as yours. Oh, thanks. But the rest of me will be fat. Bumming around. Hey, Dick, just wanted to say thank you. I really enjoyed your podcast and all the cool people in story arcs involved. I have started binging through the first TDS episodes. You show your personality and your conversations with Sean. I love it all. It has really helped me mature and think about everything in a different way. Huh. That's an appropriate answer.

Huh. Thank you, Dick, and get well soon. I like it. I all thank you. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes there is no shoes at all. Yeah, awesome. Avery, grocery store rage from Avery. Hey, Dick and Sean, relatively new listener, been listening for about a year at the grocery store today. I'm at the grocery store today, getting food and shit, getting food and shit. Yeah, I got to pack all this shit and you know,

I'm gonna start to get food and shit. Why does it always have to be and shit with everyone? Because it is kind of the way people talk, but not normally the way people write. It shouldn't be either. I don't know. So I'm doing them bubble bond shit. I'm going to the grocery store, done.

Yeah, period. I don't know and shit it is kind of a, it's a pretty popular one I've've noticed it's like a constant. Yeah So I was talking to my mom talking about life and shit. Okay Really it is kind of so talking about everything and shit. It is kind of severe How do you want to go get some ice cream and shit? Yeah, then maybe you can suck my dick and shit right get back right what do you think about that shit right Yeah, then maybe you can suck my dick and shit, where you get back. Right.

What do you think about that shit? Right. I mean, it's cool and shit, but. Oh, what are you taking in college? I'm math and shit. Mm-hmm. Has anybody done this as a joke? Probably, this is probably someone's stand-up routine.

I don't, I don't have a shit. I don't know. I haven't heard it, but I think, you know, how you doing? You're doing a grandpa's funeral, huh? Yeah, we're gonna, it. I don't know. I haven't heard it, but I, you know, you're doing any grandpa's funeral, huh? Yeah, we're gonna, like, mourn and shit. Yeah, you get married. You're gonna come to my wedding,

there's gonna be, like, cake and shit. Thousand shit. Thousand shit. Yeah. Why is that always there? She rode her own vows and shit. We got, like, a preacher and shit. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm at the grocery store. Stop. Yeah, okay. What do you do? Unless you're doing something odd at the grocery store, you don't need to say what you're doing. I'm at the grocery store where I work.

Right. Oh, that's okay. Yeah. I'm at the grocery store picking up money. It's a shot. Well, see how easy it is. I know. The only problem with easy it is? I know. The only problem with it is they have really bright lights.

Now, I have sensitive eyes. So, I often wear sunglasses inside, so I don't tear up constantly. Now, what my rage is about. Okay. Not what my rage is about. No, that was just a little day in the life. Yeah, okay, good.

I wear sunglasses inside, so I don't look like I'm constantly crying and shit. Right. My Rage's people who don't know what they want to get at the grocery store and meander around rubber necking as if they're fresh out of Rhodesia's in Bobway after the end of the Bush War and haven't seen fresh food in years.

They stand around staring without any list or idea of what they actually need, like, someone with a semblance of intelligence would come with. I always get past these. I'm stumped. I cannot get past the sunglasses line. Because it literally does have nothing to do with what he was doing at the store and his rage.

I am, this is the most fascinating man. All right, well, let's get some more information out of him if we can. Yeah. What other things that things does he do? He has sensitive eyes, so he wears sunglasses to his side. To the grocery store and to buy food. Did you notice his people?

Yeah, people walking around. I always get nasty looks from people when I say, excuse me, to get around them or bypass their fat ass Karen wives to get some fucking bread. I shop prepared because I don't have that much free time. Next time I go shopping, I'm going full Frank Hasel on anyone who shoots me a nasty look or says something. Anyway, feel free to read on the show, smoochistoshont, cheers, savory.

Well, thanks, buddy. Sorry we made it fun of you. Pat Warren, Tonga, the dipshits on Minerva should have tax funded in Navy to defeat them, I guess, huh? Or as they claim the demand for a Navy from getting butt fucked by spear. Oh, I can't say that. That should have created a private funding effort to form a Navy when the need arose. I mean, yeah, you would have done it better.

Yeah. And those guys most criticism can be summed up with I would have done it better. Well, you see what happened was, well, you know what Trump should have done, just say you would have done it better. Right. You would have done it better. I know. We all know you would do it much better.

Mm-hmm. Zep says absolutely blasting fans that ride in is the best. You've been far too nice for too long. Well, you have to call people out, Sean. Well, I know. You're big on the after. You're actually big on the best. You've been far too nice for too long. Well, hmm, I have to call people out, Sean. Well, I know you're big on the, you're actually big on the grammar. You do it in a pretty funny way. I will get, I will give you that. I mean, you know, the grammar Nazis or grammar police, like you've heard of all that. No one ever does it funny, because I really hate it. Well, when there's just like superfluous,

she was, you're making people read this and it's just gibberish. I can't, I don't understand the glasses. I often, the lights are bright and is that, was that like the start of a little rage? But my, but my real rage is, that would make me a rage fucking blasting at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I'm talking about it. I'm like, look at this.

This is a, this is a Congresswoman trying to park her fucking car. And she's on the, she's on the transportation committee. Look at this. Oh, yeah. Transparency. Look at this lady. Congress lady. I don't know.

Edward, Edward Norton, what's your name? Eleanor Holmes, Norton trying to park a car all the interiors i'm playing it on the video point the wrong fucking way and the diagonal parking she's pointing the wrong fucking way and the diagonal parking like crisscross the wrong way and there's two cars parked and the other side of the open space and she's still trying to cram in the wrong way

Diaggly was that guy like kind of like I was like hey, you might want to pull out and like try that again You're my one to kill yourself you idiot. That's fucking crazy. I should commit a that's crazy Can't put this isn't bad parking. This is like doesn't understand the concept of parking right and this is not right This is like pulling it. There's no reverse involved. She could. That's what's amazing. She could have driven forward a little bit in back into the space, which is right. This is David. Look at this. She left the fucking car there. Yeah. Yeah. These people are running our country. Oh my god. Here's another one for you. That's amazing. I got a fucking graph that'll really break your beans.

We have no time, it's six, right? We've only been going for like an hour. Yeah, yeah. Here, look at this one. I got the graph to end all graphs if you want to hate rumors as much as I do. Yeah. Yeah, and then I'm going to read these advice questions.

They're pretty funny. Here's historical data from 1973 to 2019. Okay, look at this shit, right? This is people with a minimum wage job who are just paying rent, and this is the cost of like social security, federal tax, rent, and then what they have remaining. So the green is what, do you see that?

Do you understand the colors? I think so. Social security, federal tax, rent, and then what they have remaining. The green is what they have remaining. Social security, federal tax rent and then what they have the remaining, the green is what they have remaining. Social security, federal tax rent and then like the green is the only thing. So this is just kind of making minimum wage, right? Doing normal, statistically normal thing.

No, just looking at the numbers. This is the green, you can see the boomers at their lowest, the boomers have more green than we have, than Gen X and the millennials have had our entire existence. And the millennials have more than Gen X. And the millennials have, yeah. Yes, I noticed that too. Yeah, that also annoyed me.

Okay, so that's just normal, minimum wage rent, right? Here is one that includes healthcare. Look at the fucking, the boomers barely had, the boomers start to die off and they have about half of their green money to spend by the end of the 80s. Gen X is decimated, ending their life with no ending their, their 20 years with no green at all.

No green, so healthcare crushed. Healthcare took up all of your disposable income. Dude, I know that as well as anybody. What do you mean? I've probably spent, for years it was much cheaper for me than having insurance to pay out a pocket. Oh yeah. I've probably spent on mental health.

I think I figured it out one time just roughly. Yeah. I've probably spent it out one time just roughly. Yeah. I've probably spent 30 grand more. Did you get a receipt? 30 to 35 grand. Just on that, like not like go into the regular doctor or anything like that.

Did you get a receipt for that? No, I did not get a receipt for that. I can't get your money back. Yeah, no. Look, and then look at the millennials. They're totally underwater. Oh, yeah, at the millennials. They're totally underwater. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not only did all of their disposable income

get destroyed, but it's lower than zero. So, okay, don't worry, it's better. This is, this one includes their student loans. So as you can see here. I think I'm way low on my estimate actually. Yeah, you might be. Student loans, boomers, hardly affected at all. Yeah.

Gen X loses their disposable income a little bit sooner than the, I don't know, what is that? 2000s? Well, again, boomers never lose their disposable income. Yeah. Millennial start underwater. Yeah. They start where they ended the last time.

That's where they're really fucked. And they never get, they never get in the positive. Yeah. So, millennials have never had a, And they never get, they never get in the positive. Yeah. So millennials have never had a, going by the statistics, have never had a chance to have any money. Yeah. Uh, I think this is the,

yeah, the last one is, last one includes student loans, healthcare, social security, federal, oh, this one is if you buy a house. Mm-hmm. So this one includes, um, the mortgage, the blue is now mortgage instead of rent.

Okay. Genics. Never got above zero. Yeah. Never got above zero. And millennials can't even afford their mortgage. Now, it's at zero. So the blue is like doesn't clear the top.

Right. So these people over here on the left who grew up in all green are now lecturing these people on the front line. I know. That they just need to get a job. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. These people could have gone to work at McDonald's in Bada House.

I know. I know. I know. So I was talking to somebody at work. We were talking about this. He said, I've got, he goes, my parents' generation, he goes, and my friends' parents' generation, they came from Mexico not speaking any English.

And they're fine. They own beachfront rental property over in Venice and Santa Monica. Yeah, amazing. He goes, they learn English, they start their work, they work regular jobs, they own multiple fucking properties. Yes, over there. Like it's crazy.

Sickening. Especially the way these graphs are put together. Like it's, the first you look at, oh, that's not so bad, everybody's in the, oh, wow, oh, God. Perfectoring real life stuff in. Oh my God. Yeah, healthcare.

It's student loan. It's a fucking mess. It's a complete fucking mess. It's a people vote for all of it. Okay, what was I gonna say? And we protected these people. We locked down the economy to protect these fucking people. I'll feel sick about that for the rest of my life. I really, oh, oh, oh, oh, there we go.

All right, enough. Alex is vice-student. Alex from Enzy here, I. Alex is by Sturdick. Alex from Enzy here, I have a conundrum I'm having. I have a partner at the moment who I've been seeing for a little while. Seacups, tats and piercings and haired colors. Booty that won't quit, very cool all around. I have a partner.

So as a check with Seacups or a guy with Seacups. At least from New Zealand in Pride times. I know, I'm just fucking around. Guy with Seacups probably. That's gonna be'm just fucking around. Guy was sea cups, probably. That's gonna be me and six weeks. Recently, they said they didn't infinifaturs, whatever the fuck it is. Recently, they said they didn't mind

if I saw another person sexually. Oh, they said they didn't. Sure. I believe that was an April fools. See, that could be a trap, yeah. I double checked a couple times before I did just to be careful because you know women. Yeah. Yeah. We all know. So I'm single now. So being given the all clear, I did see

a girl. F Cubs, no tats or piercings, but far higher libido, about seven years younger. Oh my God. More interested in being submissive sexually and more into kink play than the other currently is afterwards. I report back to the partner because you know honesty and communication, etc. No, I don't. I don't know why you would honestly communicate this. He's a very elaborate way to break up with your girlfriend. Well, that's, I mean, I think he fell for a trap or she did. She probably got on one of her idiot message boards and, oh, you should, you should save your guy this. And then if he doesn't say it, then if he doesn't say, why would I want to do that? Then you know, well, you know, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure things that she's doing. Yeah, well, yeah,

that's now she's like, I just, I want him to fuck the relationship up because yeah, that's now she's like, I just want him to fuck the relationship up because. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now my partner is very hurt. No, I don't, not sure. Why didn't think you'd do it? So woman, she's not hurt. She's faking it. And what is like dogs go,

they don't really feel bad. They just know if you make that face. Right, that you'll stop beating them. They'll stop hitting them, yeah. And wants me to cut ties with other women. Kids should take note. So stop crying and just make that face. Right, that you'll stop beating them. You'll stop hitting them, yeah. And wants me to cut ties with other women. Kids should take note. So stop crying and just make that face. Now my partner's very heard and wants me to cut ties

with the other woman, other women, as they thought they were okay with it. Bro, use she. I mean, come on. But after I realized they weren't a hot minute ago, I was feeling really good about myself, but now I feel like I've just hurt someone I care about. And I'm now going to have to hurt another girl to make the first one feel better. She won't ever feel better.

What do you think, and I mean, the other one seems like a train wreck too. She's really submissive. Oh, yeah. The submissive one is the one that fucks you, that fucks with you. That's what they want you to do all the fucking work. So they can just judge, judge, judge, judge. Well, he's trying to put the shit back in the horse.

Yeah, that doesn't work that way. Which isn't what I want. What would you do if you were me? I'll probably move to Australia. Yeah, moved. I mean, you're down there. Anyway, you think I can spin it to make it work my favorite? Yeah, tell them both that you want to have a really important

conversation with them. Yeah, both together. Both together. Okay, this is good. No, tell them each separately. Okay. And then give them the same restaurant. Yeah.

Right. To me, that at the same time. Yeah, right. To meet at it the same time. Mm-hmm. And then just, you know, let the magic happen. Yeah. Oh, I mean, just cross your fingers, right? It was like the, do you remember, wasn't it South America where those minors all got trapped? And lie about it, the other one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there are a bunch of people, you know, they're trapped down there for like days and days, right? So family members came and there was TV crews and everything. And shit. And then they came with like pictures of their loved ones who were down there and stuff to show. It's like, oh, this is, you know, I'm his wife

and the family. And then two women showed up with the same guy's picture. That's a good point. Fake an injury. Fake a car accident or something. Right. Get them both show up. Worried about you. That's when you hit them with, you know.

That guy's still on the hole by the way. He's afraid to come out. Yeah, yeah, he didn't come out. Probably happier down there. I would be stabbing people that came by. Let us know how it works. What's the worst that could happen? Is two women who gives a shit?

Memo says Valentine's Day fucking vice. How is Valentine's Day coming up? No good. Are you buying your girlfriend any NFTs for Valentine's Day? Oh yeah, yeah. Good, for sure. Hey, Dick, you can read this on the show, but call me Memo, 20.

Short, I've been dating a girl 32 D's for a month now, and I want to fuck her for the first time. You've really got them trained well to put the size in there. Yeah, they're all, they're doing it. It's important. Cause you can see the last guy's dilemma. Right, it doesn't know.

The most, both, both, based mostly on the boob size. Yeah, sure. Long, we have just go with the new girl, dude. What do you, come on. We have known each other since middle school, but didn't actually start talking till college. We both have extremely strict

and traditional Hispanic families. So going to either house is a no go. And she has openly expressed wanting to do things with me, but we haven't had the opportunity. Why do you have to go to someone's house, just go in your car. Right. I've heard that is a real like really traditional,

I mean, I don't know, you would, you would either, I don't, your family doesn't seem like a traditional Mexican family. Other than my dad putting pastel tiles, all the time. He did do that. Yeah, he did do that. But yeah, I've heard that even when they're putting turquoise

on everything, even when they're putting turquoise on everything, even when they're like, you know, adults, they say families like, we don't want to, I don't want to fucking know about it. Don't do any of that shit here. Like that's, I figured Valentine's day would be the perfect mood and timing, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I mean, I don't know about that Valentine's day. Yeah, that's what it's the worst. Valentine's Day is about. It's like, sickeningly survival, Valentine's Day. It's about staying in an order and pizza. Everybody knows that.

That's the moves. I'm a, don't even invite her. No, be by yourself. Right. That's Valentine's Day. I'm a decently skilled cook and have gifts and flowers planned out. I just don't know how to get across the finish line.

I've done it before. What? Oh, so you put your, pull your dick out. Put your dick in the flowers, get a little bouquet and put it in there and then hand her the flowers. Has he not fucked her before? Hand her the flowers and she's like, there's stuck on something.

Yeah, yeah. I've done it before, but all my past experience, see here, has been with casual flings or friends with benefits. Well, friends with benefits is called a relationship, bro. I know that we tricked women into thinking this is different, but don't lie to yourself. So he doesn't, is he trying to figure out where to do it?

I don't know. This is the first time I've been able to say I have a girlfriend. I'd love to hear back from you and thank you for making such great content. Founded about you through WATP last year and I've been binge listening to you show at work. You climbed to the top of my favorite podcast.

Also tell Sean's my favorite audio engineer and if he has any advice with getting into that industry because that is my dream job. Oh really? That sounds like advice. I owe a lot of fucking people some emails now that I'm thinking that. You know what I think about all the time, I can't wait to be dead and just have to none of the emails to write back like, ah, they're all gone.

I've been fucking so bad lately. Yeah. There's some good ones too. You have to worry about it anymore. No, I'm going to do it. Which advice do you want to give them? Well, getting into the industry. Yeah.

I mean, there's never been more content wanted, you know, all this new media and stuff, especially like what I do is almost all animation. There's fucking phenomenal, get your Pro Tools chops up, just see if you can go intern somewhere. Because believe it or not, unlike the music studios, like you actually will move somewhere if you're good and you, in like a post in a production house or a post house or something. Abandon music.

Yeah. You're saying. Don't do it. And then try to make a lateral move because so many of those people do all that shit. That would be my advice. Like if I had known that. I don't know. So yeah.

Yeah, either house is a no-go, he's saying, can't you, what, you can't find him. Rent a fucking hotel room. Go to, go, just go all these. Just go all these. Oh wow, we gotta go to this great place. It's kind of far away though. So I went ahead and rented this room

in case we're feeling tired. I don't wanna make all that drive. Just lie about it. You gotta give her an excuse. It's for driving. I'm gonna drive all the way home after being out there. So it's just got a little place. It's not no big deal. You just crash there if we want.

How old is he, does he say? 20. Yeah, 20. There are a lot of people like live at home too. You can get a hotel. You can do it. Yeah, a lot of people like live at home too. You can get a hotel. You can do it. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that, but you can do it.

You can. You can just do it all on your own. Okay, I don't know if we, I don't know if we have time for anywhere. Let's see, boys, males. Let's see if I missed anybody in chat. Did I miss anybody? Oh, Gator's here. Let me see if Gator has anything to say.

Gator! How you doing, buddy? Oxman, live. Hey, what's up? What's up, Gator? It's my microphone. How you doing? How's your show doing?

I saw you had a Medicare on your anime show. Yeah, I was doing fantastic. A lot of fun, a lot of shaking very substance bottles and things. What does that mean? I don't know. It's some reference to something or another. Oh, I see. and bottles and things. What does that mean? What does that mean? I don't know, it's some reference to something or another. Oh, I see. Shaking substance bottles.

Okay. Did he sound sick? Did Mr. Medicare sound like he had a long way to go? What was your groundhog's day synopsis on him? I don't know. You sounded pretty good. I'm sounding really upbeat, really positive. If you were talking about his favorite thing,

which is Japanese anime. Yeah. Love that stuff. Yeah, he has a real encyclopedic knowledge of that. I see his reference is pop up. And I'm like, so he really is into anime? Like that's, it's all real frile. Did you see his, do you see his weep bunker?

And his house was posted on his stream. It was incredible. Let me see if I can go? No. Posted it on his stream. It was incredible. Let me see if I can go find it. Go find it. It was medic or sick. Yeah, he has cancer. He has cancer. Oh, really?

What do you have? I don't even think they know that he had like a bunch of tests and stuff run. I think he has like five years to live or something, sucks. Yeah, because they say that it will come like one of those things where it's like they'll treat it, but it'll still it'll just keep coming back and keep coming back and they can only treat it for. Yeah. Huh. That's fucked up. So many people that you'd want to have five years to live or less. Yeah, they make it not they make it a long time make it a long time. Yeah, the entire left side of the graph Are you posting it in the chat?

Yeah, it isn't the discord. Okay This is really mr. Medikard's room Yes, yeah, of course half of the collection there is also Jades, but yeah, that is his anime dungeon. Oh my God. That is so surprising. That's real. That's like end to end. Act like a, yeah, what is really?

Oh my God, he's got two futons. I guess those are two TVs, like a computer TV setup over here. Old ghost flying around. There we go. Those are two TVs, like a computer TV setup over here. Old ghost flying around. Oh, there we go. All right, well, make some happy, that's cool. I'm liking that giant demon slayer wall scroll too. And the anime avenue, an anime way signs up there. Yeah.

Right, what's new in anime? That's confusing. What are they gonna ruin next? I can't wait to see what Netflix is gonna. That's gonna be one piece. They made about pirates. Yeah. Oh no, the only thing I know about that one

is it has two chicks with huge tits in one pieces. Yes. Yeah. So, oh. Cons of chicks with huge tits. That's like one of the premises of the show is that every chick in that show has a huge rack. So we're going to have to sit through a whole like six months of the actresses complaining about they're not jerk off material and shit like that.

Well, they'll probably have rack reductions before it airs. No, you think one, the Japanese won't. The Japanese won't. They won't. They won't. They won't. They won't. They'll sacrifice their integrity. Got it. Good. Good. Good. Oh, yeah, they don't give a fuck. Oh, anyway, Gator, what do you think about Ralph's Portugal trip? I think it's entertaining. I'm always I'm always supportive of things that make the internet more interesting. I'm not a fan of the back and forth between the two, but it is entertaining. It is. It's very entertaining. What do you mean the two? Well, I don't know. Ralph, you know, everyone online hates Ralph. No, I know, but a lot of people hate Ralph. And right, he's feuding with everyone. He's feuding with a lot of people. And they all got a lot of people.

They got very upset that he's going to Portugal. I didn't know this when I signed on for the trip But apparently it was a he missed a bunch of people off really Who cares if he goes to Portugal. I don't know I really don't know There's something about him. Oh, anyway, does anything make you a rage gator? Ah, what makes me a rage. Yeah, let's just go? Let's just go with what happened today. I get so sick and tired of people making new Twitter accounts just to spam me with stuff I don't care about.

Oh yeah. It's just like you've already muted them. You don't want to hear from them. They figure out, oh, he's not responding to me on this account. Let me go make 12 more accounts to go and bug it. I'm just like, I don't care. If I didn't care the first time, what makes me care the 20th time?

Yeah. People've gotten nuts. Do you think it's gotten much, much worse than the last two years? Because I do. I think people've gotten their brains scrambled. Everybody stayed home for like an entire year. So it drove people sterk, crazy.

Yeah. All right, anyway, buddy. Just wanted to say hi. See you in there. Have a good, oh, plug your, plug your, plug your anime show. Oh, yeah, anime boomers.live. I just had Mr. Metacron.

It was a fun show. A lot of fun times we talked about a lot of different anime a lot of different subjects And of course gator time dot live takes you directly to the YouTube channel go check it out. Okay. Thanks gator. See you See you bye. Bye All right, that's been the dick show patreon.com slash the dick show everybody road rage tickets are out also at patreon I think subscribe star and the other one March 5th 6 or 7 you do have to have a vaccine card. You have a couple of months.

Well, you know, if that's a problem for you, you're not gonna make it. Right, you got to work on it. You're not gonna, I already had questions. Well, does a test count like, bro? To do your thing. You're not an NG, NGMI. This is the hard men working hard with, I think it's called apologize.

Yep, apologize. I never know if this lyrics, but I think this is it. You've made it to your feel pride Everybody's got to watch and do all lies Speak to worse, sing about and say I'm right Now cross the path to apologize Take back all the lies and apologize Who's the Grinch on line? Take a wooden mine Down bad, so your man will replace Take a goal for the crowd to make quick lies Every sneeze you sow will reprise Next curve to a damn machine, a hairline Take a back to your camp, so if you're alright

Your rock is fine too Fallen, chimes, go your whys In the big and big eyes, hold on to me, man He, man, I don't believe it, get down on your knees now, we're dreaming Fallen, I don't believe it, I'm a big of the eyes, hold on to me, man Scream, I don't believe it, hold on to me, man Should've read this guy's advice a little heavy Oh, I think I know well when you're talking about yeah

Next week next week Oh, man, that show is gonna be fun. Yeah, place is a nice, got a bar. Nice, got a bar attached. I don't know what we're gonna do on Friday before. Oh yeah, Nick's gonna be here, so that's cool. Let's do some crazy shit. I'm not gonna scream, you'll see what we need.

You're hard to do, you'll see what we need. I'm not gonna scream, I say, you'll see what we need. You're hard to do, you'll see what we need. My shower stool is here. Yes! Yes! I always wanted a shower stool. My whole life, you know, I have one. About 30 years early. Never too early. You know in the best time to get a shower stool is 20 years ago.

You know, in the second best time is now. I was gonna do that joke. Well, yes today. Ah. You see, they're doing synthetic wombs now? No. Yeah, they fixed the woman problem. Really? Yeah. So, you're rid of them. Synthetic wombs.

They never fuck up, too. The wombs? Yeah. You mean the synthetic wombs? Synthetic wombs, right? I mean, all kinds of shit can go wrong with the real thing. Oh, yeah. You know that's the worst, that's the most inhospitable place for a baby, is the Wom.

Really? You put a feet as anywhere else to be fine, but the Wombs tries to kill it. Is that to build it up to make it stronger? Yeah, to make sure it's not retarded and stuff. Yeah. Should you know that? Bang up job. We got gods doing abortions.

That's what that means. You know how I'm getting about the abortion debate? People will say rape and incest is okay, right? People say no abortions except if it's rape or incest. oh I see so how you can't say murder is okay like sometimes it's either murder or not you can't say no abortion round except for rapin incest like why isn't that still one still Isn't that still one of God's children? Yeah, why it?

Just because you can't, just because you can't still be in Congress and tell women that, that's why that is. And that goes for everybody. Like if that's your mark, then you're just as bad as everybody else. Or you have the same opinion on it as everyone else. What difference does it make? Yeah. Well, not rape.

We go, why? That's demons seed. Yeah, that's demons. Uh, that's always bugged me. All right, every hard man working hard. Sorry to make it weird at the end. Apologize. My face smells.

Oh, yeah, sorry. Here's one about you I'll turn it up the fucking shot the audio quality of this show is Hide for best in the world time the people with Joe Rogan show and he's making fucking eight million dollars a year or whatever Thank you. Cannot get the ball On the bat when it comes to producing the fucking podcast. It's hard. I don't know what's so hard about it, but the audio sucks.

The game chain. Even people have been on the media for 30 years doing their game little podcast. It sounds like it was recorded on an answering machine. Do you think I would be like, listen? No, man. Stay up strong, everybody. Thank you. Yeah, that's true. Thank you.

I will say that the room is the most important thing. That's me. Yeah. That's my room. You get a, most people record in a terrible fucking sounding room. And their wood office, their their family room. Yeah. Fucking wood.

Yeah, it's in. It's fucking in there. All this stuff, you know, Joe Rogan, he's using, you know, SM7s, these are already 20s. Should we get SM7s? Are they better? No, I like these. You know, I took a bunch of shit to record with Ralph. Yeah. You know, he's not getting it is time packing pack your,

yeah, your road shit. Yeah. Hi, Dick. No mixed marriage is when I get On pack your road time. Yeah. Hi Dick. No mixed mirrorage is when I get all these constant fucking news articles that pop up from my phone or my computer that can't be turned off because they're part of the operating system. No shit. And the news is never like, oh it's going to be cold tomorrow.

It's always, did you know that olive oil increases your lightspan or check out these 80s action heroes and what they look like now? Like just garbage that I never want to see. But for some reason, that's this feature that every new device has. Yeah. It's an endless news feed of torture. Craft that you just have to deal with. So it makes you anxious.

Get rid of it. Never know about it. Go fuck yourself. I don't need to know at all about the Ukraine. Nobody in America needs to know anything about it that it's even happening. Like, who cares? I mean, well, that is, you know, who cares?

There's enough shit going on here. What if there was Mexicans trying to cross the border over there? Then you just let them in. Right. And I, it's like watching people kind of get sucked into caring about it. It's like, just seeing someone with no soul. You're like, well, what are you, as I, I don't know how to, it's fine in your dreams, man. It's like watching them just walk towards the light. Oh yeah, yeah, I mean, that's kind of making sense.

Like, what are you talking about? You don't care about what the fuck does that you create up to do with you? You do have to just, not playing. Because if you get sucked into that, you will never do anything for yourself. You will never have your own thoughts.

You will never have your own desires, your own, yeah, you'll just cycle. You'll see your racism. You'll see everything fucking else. Yeah. Oh, CRTs happening. Racisms have, oh, abortion is happening. Oh, the fucking lesbian M&Ms are happening. It's the endless cycle of horseshit.

None of it fucking matters. Okay. Hey, Deach, hey, Sean. Hey, long time no see, Joel, pal, D.P. Yeah. Makes me rage. If people who smoke in outhouses, it's fucking disgusting in its own sanitary and frankly, I'm disgusting. I mean, I can barely finish my ass with you here. Fucking gross. Yeah, I should have known that joke was coming sooner. That's true though. There isn't much more disgusting

than a fucking outhouse, it like a fair or something. Oh, try, try an outhouse of Burning Man. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, where it's, where it's cresting the top of the toilet, shit, like Everest. That's like a shit Everest. Yeah. Uh, it is annoying when people smoke in the outhouse because then when you smell cigarettes,

it reminds you of the poop, you know, oh, because it's kind of activates all your cigarette memories and try to put it to poop. Yeah. Yeah. Like some, what you really needed. So you, you intended to shit that long. When you lit it, you didn't, you, what are you with future fucking prognosticator of poop?

You know exactly how long your poop's gonna be because I don't. You think they're trying to just like cut down on the smell of their own poop? Who does that? It's everyone else's poop. What do you got a virgin tank to shit in on the... That's a good point.

Yeah. So they're doing their own air freshener of cigarettes. I mean, so they smoke for a little bit. They get it in there and they say, At least it smells like smoke and not fucking chemical toilet. It's still selfish. Okay. Okay, let's see here.

Hey, Dick. I've got a rage for you. People who say, I value my time, but instead of actually holding up to it and being like, yeah, I value my time because I want to do whatever I want, they have to make some sort of big cope about, oh well, it's worth this much to do it myself,

but for this much, it costs this much to have someone else do it, but during that time, I can be doing something like, for God's sake, just own up to it. And just say, you just don't want to do it. No, I don't want to do that. Well, if I pay this guy to do my oil change, it costs this much, I think I'd get down a million times off, and then,

but I value my time. I can't do stuff during that time. I know, yeah. You're gonna change your own amount of time. But I value my time. I can do stuff during that time. I know, yeah. You're gonna change your own oil, but you value your time so much, okay. People would be cope about valuing their time, just say that you don't wanna do it. That's all.

I don't wanna do it, I'm lazy. Yeah, sure. All right, so you guys, go put yourself in trouble. So, you're not gonna change my own oil. I have to argue about on Twitter. I have to argue about Twitter. I have to play words with friends. That's how much I value my time. That's still a thing.

Probably. No problem. The mask, that mask is gonna be around forever. All these kids right now that are like internalizing how many germs are all in the air, coming up, like all these kids that are wearing masks are coming up with their own reasons why they have to wear masks. Because the teachers...

Some of them will be. Yeah. But whatever the teachers tell them is like, I mean, whatever they say, they're gonna be like, well, I mean, it's kind of my own. Yeah, if they come up with, I mean, there's, there are definitely going to be,

how was I talking about this, the other, there are definitely going to be people who just like the idea. Yeah. And like they just want to wear them for, you know, the rest of their lives. I flew, you know, back and forth for the first time, wearing a mask and dude, it's fucking miserable. Yeah, it's really miserable.

Like, I don't understand the people who are like, oh, you know what I say? It's not like where they they sort of make it like, no, it's not, it's not fun. It's not fun. Yeah. I don't get those people either. It's just a mask. What do you mean? It's just a mask. Oh, it's not fucking hot, especially because I'm always fucking hot. It's people eight hours a day doing it yesterday. I was in Dallas. I was in Dallas at the airport had a layover, right? So I'm like, okay, I'm hungry. And I'm like, I know airport, food, you know, whatever. I took a chance on on Dickie's barbecue pit, right? That's a good place. Surprisingly fucking good in the airport. Yeah. So then the next, you know, several hours, I've got my mask on. Dude,

I'm burping up, I'm burping up a brisket with spicy barbecue sauce, jalapeno beans, French fries, and six hot wings. I no longer like dickies. You didn't think about that before? No, I'd do it again. longer like dickies. You didn't think about that before? No, I'd do it again. You know I would. Yeah. But I was like on the airplane, I was like, God, does it fucking smell again?

Dude, I do that in Pilates sometimes, I got to partying, I'm in there just breathing smoke in and out of my mouth, the taste of smoke or whatever. I was like, oh, God. Oh, from like the night before? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Good times.

The smell of cocaine. And God, I like the smell. Mm hmm. Okay. Should do coke in a chemical toilet. I have done that many times. Yeah. Right off top of the shit Everest.

Yeah. If you want to prepare for the worst man. You want something to make you hate cops? That'll do it. You motherfuckers are making me go in. Yeah. Fuck. Speaking of wings. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean, I got a fucking rage for you. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pizza okay it should be fucking disgusting yeah okay

we don't want their fucking pizza let alone their fucking wing like where the fuck did this origin like it's currently was it back in fucking Italy with fucking pop a Giovanni in the fucking pizza shop hey i was against some of the no they didn't fucking care about some of the fucking in fucking like i understand where this fucking came from anyway, or fuck yourself.

Yeah, half I like wings. I mean, but the half ass ones, when you're not, when you don't know their half ass, like a piece of place just puts them on. They should warn you that they're crummy. I guess you should say half ass wings. They figure if like somebody like they know a place for pizza or whatever, then it's like the, they they're oh, we'll get some wings too. People like wings and they don't even like expect them to be that good. Yeah, because people order pizza and wings together. Shitty wings. I'll still eat them, but I will not be like that slime taste like that of bad wings,

that slime of the chicken peeling off. Yeah. It's not crispy at all and it's so vinaigree. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Just put on there. Vinegary wings. Vinegary hot wings.

Well, vinegary is shit. Yeah. Our hot wings are vinegary is shit. Yeah. Oh, thank you, honey. This came for you. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a present for you.

I didn't, I don't know anything about it. I just opened it and said Sean on it. So I gave it to you. You gotta read the card. Okay. Well, I was gonna have a try to say if I had to. Okay, for Sean, here is a late Christmas present. I hope you enjoy it.

Uh huh. Please don't read. Please don't read. Out my email, okay. Wow, fucks your email. I look for a lot of it. Please don't, okay. What? Have any questions?

Okay. Cool. You gave you his email? Uh, yes. What's going on here? It says monolith on the box. I know it does. You help opening that?

Oh, you got it. I'm going to do it. I figured it out. I don't know what it is. Something cool. Looks like I didn't get one. So it looks like what I must be vaccine related.

Whoa, what's that? This is the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen. What is it? Dude, it's a stop box. It's probably like the shot drive. It's probably like a, you know, oh wow, wait, put it up next to your face so the camera can see it. Oh, that's fucking cool.

Thank you very much. This is so fucking cool. What's the guy's name? Look at this. So I guess it's like a, it's a fuzz box. Wow, that's awesome. Ronald, if that's, well, I don't know if Denise is, please don't read out the name.

Well, she says name. I mean, Liam, I guess. What do you mean you guess? Well, I mean, it's a long name, but I'm assuming that what? You're assuming that parts of his first day and not. Yeah, let me see here. Say like the whole thing.

Oh, cool. He's got the specs on it too. What are the specs? Well, no, he just tells me what the, what is, yeah, it's a gonna get him now controls bias and I Got it and even talk about that that's phenomenal. Thank you very much Teeth of porn getting on the Italian Senate. Did you see about that? That is so this is like I don't bring this shit into work Are you like a star with it? Well, yeah, but I mean well, yeah I'm not gonna use it as a fucking paperway, but no, it's like who's got their fucking face on a fuzz box?

Not me. That's a fucking trip. All right, that's awesome. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. We'll see you next week. Go buy tickets. All right, see ya. Thanks.