The Dick Show - Episode 295 - Dick on Eating Bugs

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

Eating bugs on the Odysee Games, Josh Denny is in studio to talk about his Black stepdad, Joe Rogan explains a "Planet of the Apes" joke, the War on Cancer, attack apologies and how to do them, my dad recommends new shoes, advice for an MtF transwoman, and balancing comedy and your girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Oh my God, I got tarantula pieces all over the desk. Tarantula pieces. Yeah, I got, did you want to see? I watched yesterday. Did you end up getting, did you end up winning all the fun? I won, barely. One way I might have cheated a little bit the tarantula eating contest. See, the Odyssey is like a blockchain YouTube competitor.

Like Rockfen. Yeah, are they blockchain? Yeah, they're blockchain video. Yeah, they're, oh, they have their own token. I hope you're talking about spiders. Yeah. You ate tarantula. I ate a tarantula.

So Lauren Southern is leading, is doing these Odyssey games to have like whatever, you know, internet people go and bearish themselves for the glory of Odyssey to get the word out about their streaming platform. Sure. I don't know why I didn't think it was going to be humiliating in some way. Right. Right. In her, her sense of humor, Lauren Suthering is to have everybody involved eat bugs in

a bug eating contest for the first round. Good. So I loved watching you do it too, because you're just like, I'm getting the money. You're just shocking them. And everyone else is like, I got it. So it's a bunch of girls. It's girl on girl until it gets to me and then it's me against another Mexican.

I'm like, we eat brains. Yeah, tongue. This is nothing to us. We bury a cow skull in the ground and eat the meat off the face. But there was so many. It's like wrapping it in tortilla. Yeah, yeah.

He's like, I actually have my own tarantula. He's shaving it off of a spit. I hate to stick it in tortilla. Yeah, yeah, he's like, I actually have my own tarantula. He's shaving it off of a spit. I hate to say that it's back there like pounding maize with a mortar and pestle. So I have my fucking made custom tortillas back in for a warrant tortillas. I dump it in my mouth like, yeah, that's Mexican. That's the joke. Yeah. I dump the tarantula would have been fine.

That would have been enough of a gross outfactor, but Lauren decides to order like multiple packets of bugs for this, like it's not just the gross outfactor. The bugs also, this is kind of a lot of bugs you're having, I see. So are they like, what size tarantula? Like the one in home alone, big tarantula. And then a bunch of these like gross, I don't know, bug here, here, let me just a picture of it. That, you know, because you like the meme,

I'm not going to eat the bugs and go in the pipe and stuff like that. Did you complain about it? Like these mixed bugs, they never put enough crickets in these things. Yeah, they always overload it with bugs. Yeah, it's like some knockoff, like, a party mixer, like to get us the planters of mixed bugs, Lauren. enough crickets in these things. Yeah. They always overload it with gloves. Yeah. It's like some knockoff, like party wigs or something. You're gonna get us the planters of mixed bugs, Lauren. Yeah.

I forgot to take the silica packet out. So I'm chewing up the bugs. And there's this hard like, you know, so like imagine chewing up, but I think it's like a wing. I think it's like an extra chitinous wing in there that I'm trying to chew up and move around. I feel like I don't know if I can do it. So what you just poured it all in your mouth or something?

Yeah, I just put it all in my mouth. With a desiccant. The only reason I won is because the other guy didn't open his in advance. And I'm like, about there you go. I'm gonna get it down in time. The planning is what got me through it. Yeah, that's really odd for you.

That's like, the preparation. Yeah. The girls were being real sticklers on the rules. I think in a disqualifying way. That's what they do. Theyparation. Yeah. I was the girls were being real sticklers on the rules. Are they going to disqualify me? That's what they do. They're always. They really are.

Yeah. In the bug eating contest. The worst part about women is when they're like, did you wash your hands before sex? I'm like, no, I'm planning on killing both of us at the end of this. It's going up your ass. Yeah. So did you wash? How far did you give?

My fingers are longer than yours. Yeah. And they're like, can you hold up your tarantula so that we can see your tarantula in the right. Did you wash how far did you give my fingers are longer than you are. So, uh, if they're like, can you hold up your tarantula so that we can see your tarantula in the bag. So you we make sure you didn't dump it out under the deck. Right. Right. Right. Did you guys? Is that how, is that what you think of me that I'm chasing in a tarantula eating game? Yeah. Anyway, I forgot what the point of that was. What did it taste like? Oh, it's so burnt. It's so cooked and burnt out.

It just roasted, huh? But my girlfriend had been sitting there the whole time leading up watching everybody do this, saying, oh my God, I'm going to throw up that's so disgusting. It's gr- so I have to like three hours of psyching out. Yeah. Before the event. So they burn the hair off of them, right? No, the hair was nice and pointy.

Really? That's gotta be a really odd. Must be like eating a kiwi fruit rind, you know? Yeah, I was really disgusting actually. I don't know, I don't know if it was worth it. Yeah. Put it that way. Anyway, here we, let's start the show.

Josh Denny. We're here in studio. The warrior for black culture I just want to launch right into Joe Rogan Hey, welcome to the if you want to give you if you let it you've got it It's the show and it's a contest gonna be a lot Mount Booker. Deep in the heart of the city of failure, I mean, I was sick, I was like, hey, look, 20 million dollar man.

Jeremy is always a world touring LA-based comedian, Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dude. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourselves. You're welcome. Again, on this countdown to 300, holy shit, am I excited.

We've got a beautiful venue. One month. Oh, yeah, but my leg will be healed by then. It's still yellow. My foot's still yellow. Really? Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know when it's supposed to be. I tell you my dad said about that. I broke my foot two weeks ago Josh. I saw it. Yeah. My dad says, you know what? To my father, there's no such thing as a non preventable accident. Oh, I got one of those dads too.

Yeah. Yeah. What were you fucking around? Who told my dad says, yeah. This is the guy who just crashed his bike into a fucking boulder and then didn't know who he was. That's for a couple of years. He had legit television amnesia for like a day, like memento. Yeah.

He had to write no. It's not everything. He couldn't figure, you can remember breaking his falling off his bike, breaking his hand and everything. Bicycle or like a motorcycle. Bicycle. Yeah. motorcycle. Bicycle. Yeah. So he deserved it.

Yeah. Okay. It was something cool where he could have died. Well, the rock could have been a little kid. Yeah. Let's put it that way. Like he didn't mean, he didn't want to hit the rock. So anything else he didn't want to hit, he would have hit.

Didn't he say something about like that rock isn't usually there? Mm-hmm. Or like it's like a boulder. He goes by there all the time and the boulder, you know. Somebody moved it. Yeah, people say that when they hit people too. They should have been there. Yeah.

So he has the whole track memorized. It was sudden, vehicle acceleration syndrome. Yeah. Speed running that route every day. So I don't have to pay attention until the end. My dad says, well, what kind of shoes were you wearing? Mm, because that's really, I rolled my ankle. Actually, dad, you know what?

Now the mention, I was wearing jazz tap shoes. What the fuck was I thinking? I think, yeah. Wearing belt, I was wearing shoes, those shoes where it's all in the toe. Yeah. So it's unstable when you're working out to work out your, you know, your calves.

Yeah. And I said, oh, yeah? Because yeah, it's important when you walk to have ankle support. Proper footwear. Proper footwear. What were you wearing for fucking around? I was like, you know what?

I was wearing shoes that you bought me for Christmas, which is true. Yeah. Shoes that you bought me for Christmas, he goes, those suck. That was like, so he's still, I had him. He's still made it your fault. Yeah.

You should know better than to think that I would ever get you anything that was good. Yeah, you're mother-by-those. Yeah, okay. My dad's criticism when I was a kid growing up was always blanketed by this broad overreaching statement of, you need to fucking wise up. Yeah.

Yeah. What's up? No, no, no. What is that? What did you need to wise up about it? It would just be like buying time like yeah, that B minus on your report card You do fucking wise up fucking wise up. I go you to graduate high school if the military didn't exist You'd be sucking dick and South Philly right now That only thing I learned from my dad was what not to do. Right, yeah. Well, what specifically not?

Don't specifically do this. Yeah. This isn't. Oh, no, no, no, that wasn't taught. I just watched his life. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was like, oh, okay, okay, that, I thought that was going to go wrong. Yeah, it went wrong.

And it went even worse than I thought it would. I've always wanted to make a movie about my dad because they always have like those dad movies where the dad in the movie gives like this great, profound advice, even if he's a crackhead, he's also a mystic. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It learned so much screwing up so much.

Yeah. That idea like, well, who knows the guy, clearly the guy that is fucked up the most. Yeah, and I love that my dad like had this concept in his head of like having to parent, but really didn't want to. So I've got people bring up the talk. I remember I was like seven years old and we would we would always drive between Philly and Delaware. So be like an hour drive. And my talk was just him telling a fuck story from the night before. And he was literally like, so I got her up on the hood of the truck. I got it. The fuck get big titties are flapping everywhere. And then this one he does he pauses and he looks at me and he goes, you know how people fuck

right? Of course, that did not look like a total dick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be a fuck. Yeah, dad, the birds fuck the bees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, he goes, yeah, guy sticks his thing in a woman anyway. So I got a car. Then he watches a little little, how's the cigarette goes to bed? Yeah, it's just like, so I would love to make a movie that's just a father having all of these total 9-11 moments. I'm trying to give his son a white like life advice.

Yeah, I think my dad put more coaching into his paintings. He's always trying to work the coach aspect. There's like, when to have a talk with you taking me. Yeah, I can't see that. He's become a, he's become a wise and I don't know what I don't want to say pacifist, but like, well, he says, you know, I used to be just like you just full of anger all the time, but now I'm different and better than you and you and you and unique. Like that's what I get out of it. Yeah.

Also, I got the angry guy when I was a kid and now, now that I'm, now he's criticizing you for being angry. You can't do that shit. No, all of a sudden this is bad. Yeah. Got it. So I get it both ways. You figured out what you would have hated because you know that I hate what you're doing

right now because you used to be me, right? That's what you're saying. That's how I'm fucking infuriating this way. Right. You know that. I know you know that. I what you're doing right now because you used to be me right that's what's saying That's how I'm fucking infuriating this week. You know that. I know you know that I learned it from you dad But he never had a reason to be you What do you mean? I mean this generation or our generation has a hell of a lot more Reason to be pissed off. Oh, oh, yeah, that good luck reason good luck. I know good luck with that Yeah, it's never it's always oh you kids have ever ever smell the blood on a Nazi bayonet boy. Like that's what you're like. Well, we had to invent that whole condom allergic to late text that you guys just take

for granted. We invented that. All right. Thanks for all your trail beliefs. Yeah. And it's funny. Anytime I would like bitch at my dad about like, you know, him being hard when I was a kid or something or too hard on me. Yeah. He'd be like, you know, your grandfather flipped the table over, the kitchen table over on me when I was your age and beat the living piss out of me, right? Yeah. I go like, that wasn't good either, Tom. Yeah.

Yeah. He always tells us how the day he like grabbed my grandma's belt away from her and threw it on the roof of the house. So she couldn't hit him. as you couldn't whip him anymore. So then whenever I see her, I'm like, here's 20 bucks. Go buy yourself a new belt. Get back to, I'm calling you back. Yeah.

I'm calling you off the benches so you can put the belt back on anyway. There's a story in my family. My great, great grandfather chased my great grandfather to the banks of the Hudson in New York and said, now you better fucking jump because what was coming for him was worse than him jumping into the fucking river. He made him walk the plank. He was like, he was like five or something like that. Apparently a passer by intervened, but or who knows what a police would have done.

But I don't know. That was the story from the early 1900s. Who knows? It's a long line of crazy. Oh, yeah. Long line of crazy. Then his, yeah, then the sun grew up. My great uncle Tony used to say that he used to chase him around the house with a belt.

You know, and like, you know, my uncle Tony couldn't shut the fuck up. My dad, we're looking at him. He goes, why do you do that to him? You know he's going to chase you with a belt. And Tony would go, I don't know. Yeah. The fun. Sick.

Yeah, every time with like dads, I always picture this like sort of sign fell George Kastanz's dad moment where like you're bitching and just Frank Kastanz goes, oh, who molested you? Your grandfather. Yeah. Yeah. We're satanized at knife point. Yeah.

The world will do like you just like this horrible story of like. Your grandfather was so demise didn't have point. Yeah. World War II. Like it's just like this horrible story of like. This is the, it's like it's not the worst. It's not that bad. This episode is what's to wave all those like Chad dead streams. Nick Rikita does all the che, we're all the dads calling and talk about like, yeah, I talk about how great it is to be a

dad and shit. This is what's lying and wait for you no matter what. Right. I just want to make that clear. You guys think it's so hot being a dad. This is coming for you. Yeah. The worst thing I could have been in my dad's eyes was gay. Like my brother, when I was a kid, my brother called me until I was like 13. The second worst thing is a comedian, right?

And you get two for an hour. My favorite thing ever. They were remodeling the garage in my grandmother's house into a spare room that was gonna be my bedroom. So I was like 11 in there, you know, trying to learn construction, you know, what most 11 year olds do. And I was like week out, you know,

I was before I was playing sports or anything. And I was week and I couldn't lift up this, this pale of like, your child, my cement. And my brother's like, just't lift up this pay this pale of like your child cement and my brothers like just pick it up you fucking And my dad rather than say hey man, that's not cool. He goes dude. You're gonna give him a complex and push him over the edge Look son you don't want him to be your fault, dude. Yeah, he'll take no responsibility, and he'll be like, yeah see, I mean,

I really wish you hadn't pushed him over the edge. I mean, I got him up there, I can, he's got his heels on the fucking edge, and there's a stiff breeze coming, but it's gonna be your fault if he doesn't, and you don't want that on your conscience. Yeah, yeah, I just did, I just did. This thing of like, well,

kids are really easy to like make gay. Yeah, that's like a thing that everyone's everyone secretly believe. They're like, they're putting all this gay stuff in cartoons like they're gonna make them gay. Like, I don't know if it's that like you're on stuck at cock. Is that all it would take? Like a commercial to get the right cartoon to get you. If Snoopie starts blowing wood stock, you'd be like,

yeah, line them up. Let's go. It's just a sunny decommershaw I think they're pun intended I got really think that most guys know that they're that gay They're almost gay and it's like well the only thing that keeps them not gay is getting made fun of by their friends Yeah, just just a bunch of kids after playing out in the yard peering into a confessional booth and one kid like what's that? It's dick after playing out in the yard peering into a confessional booth and one kid like what's that it's black purple stuff

purple bus okay I just did the next worst thing and I just started dating black women that bothered him almost as much as if I were gay really yeah you're from your fulfill it let me say you got into a big fight with Trevor Noah yeah because he's he was saying as much as if I were gay. Really? Yeah. You're from Philadelphia. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

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about what it means to be black than blacks? And, uh, and then the other one, just to be your millionaire who's on television, who's recognized instantly on television. And then my favorite part of that too is when people go, are you saying a black experience has to be a poor experience? And so literally the way they responded to this was thousands of black people just started going in and going,

this is how shitty it is to be black. And so when people go, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up? What's up? What did you learn from your Trevor No Experience? I go, well, I didn't really know what it was like to be black before him, but apparently it fucking sucks. Yeah, I'm from the mouth of Bayes. I know 90s hip-hop guys, you're not teaching me. I don't know, you grew up on, like what, what CDs you were sneaking into your mom's target bank, but I kind of, that's like the general theme that pops up.

It's also just like, this is the thing that annoys me is this idea that race dictates perspective. Like when my mom left my dad or boyfriend for three years was a black guy, I grew up being the kid in an interracial relationship on the East Coast in the early 90s. Okay. So literally, like walking through a shopping mall,

you're good and I love that black people pretend that they're like never racist. Like when we were walking through a shopping mall, you're good. And I love that black people pretend that they're like, never racist. Like when we were walking through a shopping mall, do you think we got more ugly? He was like a personal trainer like super jay. Yeah, so black jigs hate it. Hate it if he was crossing the line, right? Snow bunny fucking mother fucking trainer. Yeah, just yell and I go, I had to ask my mom, what's a, what's a snow bunny trainer, mom?

I'm like, I know what mother fucker is, but the other ones I'm a little confused on. Hey, so it's just like the mother part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dad taught me about the fucking one on the hood of his car.

Yeah. People go, you have no idea what racism feels like. I go, I think I have a little bit of an idea of what it feels like. You ever been in a situation where you feel it from everyone? Because your parents represent. Because they're the kid. Yeah. And your dad is black who's getting race hate from white people and black people.

And you're a kid. So you have like no way to process it or understand it. I wasn't walking through the mall like they're obviously not talking about me. I'm a white man. Yeah. Yeah. Dad, if you ever want to talk about this, my George always helped it. You know, man, I probably couldn't understand what you're going through as a white male, but.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't, there was no way to compartmentalize. Well, I'm like, this doesn't affect me. It's just like, you're, oh yeah, you know how your mom was miserable in her marriage to your dad and then found someone who loves her, treats her well, respects her. Yeah, that guy's a fucking piece of shit.

You go, why? And they go, look at him. Look at him. Just look at him. Just look at him and what that rapper is saying. He should be loving me. Yeah, chick with a 300 pounds hoop earrings, you know, just like. So it's like, yeah, and of course like,

I love that your background is like that too. And actually, cause it lends a lot of credibility, you know? Yeah. I was like, but he like, but they take one look at him. Look at this Irish motherfucker. But there's no way he knows. Well, and then the other thing is like, so then I grew up and moved.

You kinda dress black, though. Do I? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, it's like poor. Yeah. Out there, you do. It's ever that sandwich on your head. That's very wet.

It's almost white as a gets. Yeah. But then the rest, yeah, pretty good. So, sandwich or, what does it, it looks like a chili? It's a cheese steak. Oh, it is a cheese steak, the rise. Yeah, pretty good. It looks like a chili. It's a cheese steak. Oh, it is a cheese steak, of course. Yeah, if you eat a hundred of anything,

you get an endorsement deal. I've got two other hats in my car. One has a dick on it and the other one. The other one has a big old pile of shit on it. So, that's too bad. So wait, now you were at the Food Network, right? Yeah, for three seasons. And they canceled all of your,

well, they took it all down. Yeah, the show was off the air like six months before the first time I was kids. But they didn't take any of Paladine's stuff down. No, I have no right. Or Mario Batallys. They're worse than the Food Network. They didn't take it.

You mean they still air that stuff or they're still there still links on their site? They took it all down like a few years ago when the first controversy happened in 2018. Yeah. And then they didn't comment on anything I've done or said until I was like, I made all those anti women jokes when the abortion ban in Texas happened. And they should be treated like guns.

So I should treat women like guns. They shouldn't be allowed on planes. They shouldn't be allowed in school. No, I said only horse wouldn't know they weren't pregnant after six weeks. And that tickled their fancy, little bit, you know. So, you know, it's the greatest thing about fat women, jugs. Is there only going to get funnier because they're getting so much fatter? Yeah.

And there will be a time when we're going to have different levels of fat. Do you follow Lizzo on Instagram? No. It's literally like someone conjured the stay puff marshmallow man dipped him in chocolate and gave him a fucking smartphone It's amazing. We've just heard like gyrating roles on her. We did you know about a no about to fat watch the series How do I how do I join You just listen see we said we've got a team. You got the camera that's outside my apartment You just bring it back and listen. See, we've got a team.

You got the camera that's outside my apartment. We try to find what fat women are up to. I saw a Lizzo billboard, and the way to Vegas, last time I drove there, it looked like the Cartman, Wake Gang episode of just a giant fat body with head, like it could have been anywhere on the billboard, and you wouldn't be able to tell

what the amorphous blob was behind her. Right. That's exactly what I amorphous blob was behind her. That's exactly what I've seen of Lizzo as well. Okay, so they, they, they, they, they remove your stuff. So then when I do the, the pro, the pro life women are stupid rant in September. Then they go, we did, we, we haven't worked with Josh steady for a long time and We don't work with that guy And they pinned it to their Twitter

And at the end of it it says we regret having ever given giving him a platform So it's crazy is here's a picture of his dick When you get in the future they're gonna make every I mean we're gonna need a dick pic in case you get wild on Twitter. We're posing that shit. Worse than Pauladine and Battelli. Yeah, right. We're like engaged in like, oh, sexually assaulted women and stole tips from his workers.

Yeah, and, and, and, and, and other associates of his too, right? Yeah. That was all, I was at that, I think most of that happened at the spotted pig in New York. Was it actually the tip thing was for sure, right? Yeah, well I think there was a salt that was done there too. I happened right after that restaurant opened, I happened to be in New York and like went to it. And that was why I saw the name.

I was like, oh my God, I've been there. Did they sexually assault you at the look at you? Why not? Twice the second time. Yeah. Yeah. It's coming and wants going. Yeah. It's an off menu option. But if you're in the know, you can, you can go. Exactly. Yeah. So then they just decide what's amazing is, and I don't know the exact number. I think it's 3619. But was amazing is that whole thing happened in September, right? And then I go on a discovery plus and watch a show

and they're taking advertising from the 3619 project, which is a hardcore anti abortion group. So literally they're like, you can dev my views on abortion. And this commercial was coming up every fucking break. But you took millions of dollars from hardcore anti abortion advertisers, but fuck me for being like a joke. Yeah. Hey, it's like, but you took millions of dollars from hardcore anti-abortion advertisers, but fuck me for being like, yeah. Making a joke. Yeah, hey, because jokes are effective. No, and it's also the other thing I said was like, calm down, broads.

You still have six months to decide your life's more important than anybody else's. That was the very first tweet. And it was just like, you know, they fucking people. It's not enough that they get to do it. You got to be happy. It's not enough that they get to do it. You gotta be happy, it's not enough that they get to do anything. You gotta be happy with them too. Yeah, so it was funny, because the Daily Caller was like,

Josh Denny made pro life anti-abortion jokes that outraged the left so much they demanded. He be canceled from a show that's been off the air for three years. And it's just because I leave host of ginormous food in my bio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, immediately idiots just click food network. How fucking dare you? And even as big as this got in September, when the Trevor Noah thing happened last weekend, people like true food network come get your man. He out here wild and saying blacks is only poor. It's just like you could put whatever you wanted in there and they'll just send it to them.

Like I work for Microsoft. Can you fucking get this guy? So like a year ago. Oh my God. A friend of mine did a fake, like she had a fake Twitter account and she was posting, she was posting like some, some chick was being a bitch for some reason like with a tip or something and she put fake contact credentials and she had to take it down because the fake woman actually existed and she was getting contact credentials and she had to take it down because the fake woman

actually existed and she was getting fat. Yeah. Anyway, talk about, you know, what are the odds of that? She probably is wondering what you're doing. I can't clear your voice. Yeah. I didn't say that, but I mean it. But it's so ridiculous.

Like, yeah, you should manipulate stuff like that. If you're shit posting, like, I'm sure you have some fans at shit posts. Yeah. If you're shit posting, put the you work and fucking Facebook in there. Make them answer. Go on a man. Yeah. Yeah. We can't fucking find Pepe Siltley.

He says he runs here. Right. Yeah. Google tell him you work everywhere. Oh, put it in. Put them all in the bio. Such a perfect illustration of like how people just fucking go off like less than half cocked.

Well, yeah. They see, they come across you and see that food network in the, in your bio and they immediately fire off a letter of the food network as if without checking whether you, what you've done, whether you have a current show, whether you're associated with them in any way shape or form. This is what the fuck are so scary to Joe Joy Bayhard. Joe, how can you have fucking husband

come say this stuff online? Do you support this? This is how stupid people are on the internet, right? They go to my bio when they get mad that if I say something that's about race, or it's about women, and they immediately will go to Food Network, which a simple Google search will tell you that shows been off the air for three and a half years, or four years now, right? What nobody has done, not a single person has done,

is right below that in my bio, it says, host of next week tonight on censored TV Not a single person in the history of Twitter has clicked that to go. Oh this guy's obviously a white supremacist He's on Gavin McKinnis's network Not a single person Clearly a white supremacist well tell you why it's because everybody every mother fucker out there is fat as shit So they stopped at food network. And they're like, don't you dare, don't you dare fuck up my food network.

I need my food network. There's actually people who have gone to the lengths of lying. Like, I've been watching Josh's show every weekend, not now. Oh, yeah. Oh, those people are the worst. Well, I'm going to have to find something else. So I go, oh my God. You know watching the reels?

Did they have an airing in America? Okay, wait, I got a Rotter-Jale, did I say that already? Tickets up for sale in the website. Very fast, right? I think only like 20 or something. Yeah, it's like even less than that. I may be able to squeeze. I was gonna see how much everybody weighs

before I can get the new round of tickets. I might be able to squeeze some people into the back. I was gonna text you today and be like, Hey, do you want me to push this to like get these tickets out there? I looked at them, I was like, I don't know if they'll be gone by the tie way. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

There's a new bonus episode up. Yeah. God, that was funny. It was for our Patreon Patreon. I'm Slash the Dix show bonus episode. The last 10 minutes, where Maddox relives his traumatic childhood on a comedy podcast where nobody else is laughing talking about his mom.

So uncultured. The police on him, which is where he learned about calling the police, I presume. Maybe. Yeah. So uncomfortable. It really is. Of course he was doing that show still,

but there you go, check it out. Okay, speaking of comedy on the internet, I did want to talk about Joe Rogan's apology. I saw you had some comments on that, Josh. Did you see he was a, Joe Rogan's apologizing for saying the N word? Like a hundred times. And that's that they found. Yeah. It's a hundred point of found. So we apologize for. Yeah. He made this video. Well, they found a bunch of him saying the end, because you know, he's misinformation. He's leading misinformation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand. He's killing people, by the way, they wrote, somebody wrote a, their friend died, their unvaccinated friend died. Let me pull this, this link up for you guys. Washington Post, the title is, I'm disgusted by Joe Rogan's weak apology. My former colleague's death at 47 makes it worse.

How do I get rid of this? Are these pictures of the two guys? Yeah. 12 foot, I, uh, one of them's dressed like a sailor. Yeah, the, the pop-up has to be very big to hide her friend who died of COVID because of Joe Rogan. Yeah. Because Joe Rogan was the one shoveling bread in his mouth. He was off every day. Yeah. What's amazing though is now

they can't use that picture for when they say he died because of Joe's racism. They've already used up the two black guys talking to each other on a bench about how Joe Rogan murdered one of them. And so now they can't come back and do it about it. Okay, there it is. The guy who died was on the right. The picture of how it clearly shows misinformation that sent him spiraling into a... Yeah, a sciabetic coma. Like I'm precipitated the heart attack

that was probably caused by COVID. Right? This is why I'm hard time getting in shape because I look at guys like that and I go, I'm fine. Right. Just go. All his chins have merged. They have.

And to his head is the size of a watermelon. Yeah. He's sitting next to a fat guy. I have churros there. But yeah. I think that was in the side of the white pumpkin. Right. Is that better? It's gourdish. It's the white pumpkin. Is that better?

It's gourdish. It's quite gourdish in the presentation. Joe Rogan's fault. This man succumbed to a disease that hits fat people. Yeah, I'm particularly higher. Because you know, Joe Rogan's always about, go hit the dollar menu, get whatever you want. Need a couple desserts. 11 ZZZ cool with me. Healthy at any sign.

And Joe Rogan is an entertainer. Doesn't all this stuff about Joe Rogan being medical misinformation want you to take like me and Vito and put us on a show where we sit down and just seriously discuss about the medical benefits of McDonald's and just put that out. I think it would be a hit. It would be a hit. I think you get here sponsored by Adidas and then death. We'd be judging by that.

Healthy, but healthy while you eat. Yeah. Work out while you eat. We'd be the, I don't know if you know this, but if you actually mainline Chipotle, but you intermittent fasted, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you intermittent fasted. It actually, it actually, it actually,

it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it actually, it your body. A lot of people don't know, bro, but the metabolism actually works better when you're not moving at all.

Yeah, because it's not wasting energy on other activities. And you can concentrate. Do it right before bed. Because then all you got to do, and I'm moving around, you stomach just breaks everything down. And consume as much estrogen as humanly possible.

Soy. I'm talking soy, milk, candies, whatever you can do, bro. So Joe Rogan, that obviously that's what he's guilty I'm talking soy milk, candies, whatever you can do, bro. So Joe Rogan, that obviously that's what he's guilty of killing that man. So he's in hot water, so they're trying to find that, is Edward Hunt. Well, that's where it eventually goes, it seems like. Yeah, what are you doing over there, misinformation?

We're gonna have to look for some end words. You know, right? That's the move. So they found, obviously they found him end words. Yeah, you know, right? Yeah. That's the move. So they found, obviously, they found him saying, a bunch of Edwards, because everyone, no one knew that, no one knew the surveillance hellscape that we would live in. Yeah.

Yeah. Where did they find it? Like in stand-up routine. All clips of his podcast. Yeah, him on his podcast. Really? Because he's been podcasting a long time now. I forget that.

Yeah. He's been saying the end word a long time, too. Yeah. It's in his first special from time now. I forget that. Yeah. He's been saying the N word a long time too. Yeah. It's his first special from like 2006. Is it really? He does a whole bit about words that people get triggered over. Yeah. And George Carlin said it.

The fact that they're just words. Yeah. And that you allow that to make. He's like, and he literally says, you know, yeah, like goes through the whole list of them. And he's like, look, and even after he says he goes he goes look people with fucking shit's breaking off in here right now Just because I said the word and I say and you know in that standup He's like making a point about context uh-huh and then the internet completely ignores context and just shops does

Shops this thing up people are surprised by that. They're like oh But he wasn't saying maliciously like do you think they care? No, don't care. They're just trying oh, but you want you. He wasn't saying you're maliciously like, do you think they care? No, don't care. They're just trying to fuck with you. Like they just want you to feel bad for doing things that you either think or like when you say the end, you're just like brainwashing yourself and you're like, all right, I don't say fat women anymore. I say something else.

I say the, I go through this elaborate ritual to say F slur and all these things. What else do you want me to do? I'm tired. What else do I think that I'm supposed to subject through your approval? They just want to isolate the most inflammatory thing and ignore any context or pertinent information

because that's always damaging to their case. So here was the part of the apology that I wanted to read because I thought, because it's so nonsensical. You can't really like Joe Rogan. So I brought this in. He says it's a clip from 11 years ago. I was telling a story about how me and my friends got really high in Philadelphia.

Oh, this is a separate, this was a separate apology than the N word apology. He's like, this is what was hilarious about it. He goes, listen, all those ends were taken out of context. Yeah. I was talking about Richard Pryor's album name. Okay. We were talking about other people saying things in the media.

Yeah. And then it's like, okay, I'll buy all that. And then he's like, now let's talk about the Philadelphia planet of the ape story. And it's like, there is no fucking way to pretend that this is racist. No, no way to pretend this isn't racist. No way to resist it's not racist. Which is fine.

He called Phil Nelpe like playing out of the A. No, no, no, no, no, it's so much worse. It's so much with so much stupider. It's so much stupider and his explanation is fucking retarded. Yeah. Like his explanation is just the obvious gas light to anyone dumb enough to believe this. He says there's a clip from 11 years ago. I was telling you to be because I'm just like, yeah.

Yeah, really? I know it. I probably can tell you what theater he went to. One of the all-time purpose. Yeah. I know he went there. I'm curious. I'll tell you this.

I don't think it even happened. I think him and his friends said, oh, this would be funny if we did this. I'll tell you. I'll tell you, if it didn't happen, he's a pussy because I've actually done this. And it is fun. It's funny. And it's hilarious. Oh yeah.

We literally drove to the blackest part of Minneapolis and I know what you're thinking. What could that possibly be like, too? Oh no, no, no, that's where we salient. We didn't know, right? Did you just push blackcock down? Brooklyn Park. I remember.

Yeah, so I used to live in a bunker. Our Airbnb was underground, and we would get out to go to the convenience market, and it felt like Black Hawk Down. It was like ransacked, tipping over. Oh, you're probably a North Minneapolis. Yeah, so when I first moved to the cities, because when I was in high school,

I graduated in Southern Minnesota on the Iowa border. Then I moved to Minneapolis for my job, which was a video stores. And we moved to this neighborhood. Man, this neighborhood was real cheap. Was too fucking dumb. We young white kids who don't understand why. So we, one of the first movies that came out that we wanted to go see was Alien vs. Predator. And literally remember that.

That would be a good one. We go, we go on opening night, we walk in and we are the only two white guys I'm not kidding in a theater filled to the brim with black people. I mean, there are dice games happening in the middle of the fucking theater. There's an open grill on the other fucking side. And literally the whole movie.

This guy's eating beans. Yeah. And the whole movie is just screaming at the screen. Oh, hell no! Hell no! And at the end of it, I don't even remember, but the lead in that movie is a black woman. I'm like her and the predator sort of like become friends at the end. And then this one black dude yells out, yo, she fucked the predator.

I'm out of this motherfucker. That means we're the president of the dreadlocks. No, so when people go, what is the best, what is the best movie you've ever seen in your life? I'm like alien versus predator. I had to be there. And it's because of the experience. And then here's your explanation.

Black people. That's why. So here's Joe Rogan's explanation for why, for the story that he told about going to see the Planet of the Apes in Philadelphia. Real quick, you guys have heard the Bill Burr famous rant on Phil at Philadelphia. And context, I'm from there. I grew up there. So I lived there until I was like 14.

Was that, yeah, that was it. Okay, just curious. Here's his apology. There's a kill. There's a clip from 11 years ago. I was telling a story about how me and my friends got really high in Philadelphia. And we went to go see Planet of the Apes. We didn't know where we were going.

We got dropped off by a cab in an all black neighborhood. So they didn't even know. Which is called Philadelphia. I'm like, I'm trying to not even know. They just got dropped off. I also like to you pretend that there was like one neighborhood that's all black in Philadelphia. I was in an all black neighborhood. I was trying to make the story entertaining.

So I said we got out and it was like we were in Africa. It's like we were in Planet of the Apes. Yeah, and the quote, This is the apology. Yeah, I'm not sure how he thinks that translates by somebody reading it. What in Africa have to do with anything? I don't know. Is Planet of the Apes in Africa? No, I did not.

I did not, nor would I ever say that black people are apes, but it sure fucking sounded like that. You know why it sounded like that, Joe, because that's what the fuck you did. You didn't even tell the joke right, first of all, because you made the explicitly, you made the comparison. And I immediately afterwards said, that's a racist thing to say planet of the apes wasn't even in africa uh...

uh... and we all know it was in philadelphia i was just saying there was i was just saying there was a lot of black people there then i went on to say what a positive experience it was how much fun it was to see this movie in an all black neighborhood. It wasn't a racist story. This was on the end thing.

This is on Instagram. This is the apology. This is the apology. No, but the original story. The original one was on his podcast. Okay. Yeah. Back when they were doing it like a zoom, it looked like zoom back.

Oh, yeah. He's just sitting on his couch. Yeah. I went on to say what a positive experience it was. How much fun it was to see this movie in a black neighborhood. It wasn't a racist story. Why was it the apology for the racist story? It's an extra fun to see planet of the age. What did I say? What specifically made it fun, Joe? It really felt like a surround experience. I was in the movie culture. I was born D like universal studios. I think I got splashed with some of it.

They splashed it with some black while you sit there. She's a real blimp. They sounded terrible. You just like a terrible party. You just like a terrible party. You just like Jurassic Park, the ride's better dog. They sounded terrible. You can have clunky stories about anything, but not about race.

Can you imagine that dead eyed meathead staring at you saying, look, but you can have clunky stories, but not about race. Yeah. How do I, how do I have a non clunky story? Listen, if I get to tell stories about race, I'm out of shit. I got nothing. And the thing is, is like, if you go back and watch the clip the way he says it as he goes he goes we went to see Planet of the Apes bro we walked into Planet of the Apes and it's just like the joke that's the joke and nothing to do with Africa.

That was the end of afterwards and you shit what you should have done is the and this is what I hate about having to explain to other people at a fucking not first Well, don't apologize at all don't acknowledge it, but see you're you think that yeah Yeah, I'll tell you why what I'll say is boom and this is why I'll tell you why when we get to it Well, I'll say is what you should have defended was was the joke racist. You're like I don't even think it's racist You should have been like it was a joke. It's definitely racist right? I was fucking kidding. Like that would have been a bit at least if you were offended. Yeah, I was cheating. I'm gonna go. They still want to try to string him up. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Jesus Christ, dude. Now we got an issue in apology

for this. String him. Can I? Is there another chair that's further from Sean? Yeah, all right. And it was like we were in Africa. He added that part to the joke. Yeah, right. Which is, by the way, neither the movie, what they didn't see it in Africa and the movie doesn't take place in Africa.

Right? It's insane. So the apology thing, this is my thinking on, I'm trying to explain to people, because they're always like online, they're so proud of themselves, first telling other people not to apologize. Yeah.

Like, oh, if you're, you should never apologize with them, I'm like, well, first of all, it's not your life, bud. Yeah. That's, nobody cares about that. What I have is with public apologies. It's easy. If you're genuinely upset, and by the way, I met Joe a couple times, we, I've done the

store with him a couple times, I think he genuinely does feel bad. Me too. Because he's a real, he's actually a really sensitive dude. Yeah. He cries at movies and shit like we all do. We don't talk about it, but. In Toy Story 3, man, when they're in that incinerator, holding hands. There's no fucking way.

Punch. I'm warned her. Don't look at me. I will fucking punch you. I think the ADL is suing them for, you said the incinerator and the toys. Yeah. Yeah. And we're talking about black people today. Not you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This is the anthology of racism. Jews was last week with what be. But if you, so I think of you genuinely sorry, you should apologize. Or if you genuinely did something wrong that's indisputable, you should apologize.

Right. Like that's why I kind of understood Louise think is, okay, I jerked off in front of those women, they seem to be cool with it at the time. Yeah. But anyway, maybe I miss Red the Roo. Yeah. You know, listen, as a comic, you try things. Sometimes they work.

Sometimes I'm pushing boundaries. There's a comedian, you know. But anyway, the problem I have with public apologies is that they become apologizing for what the audience thinks you did, not what you did. And so what happens is, and I wrote this thing early, I didn't want to pull it up, but I wrote it on Twitter and I was like,

so what happens is everybody that thinks he's a white supremacist looks at the, I'm sorry part of the apology goes see. So we were white supremacists. Yeah, I'm sorry part of the apology and go see. We were white supremacists. You can't fix that. He admits it. So here's my thinking is like, if they're going to think that anyway, then what do you

stand again by betraying the people who are smart enough to know you're kind of like you were fucking joking because as somebody. That annoys me too because Dave Chappelle said, no, no, no, I need to do this for comedy. Right. It's very important that I not apologize in my own specific way by carting out my dead friend and like rubbing that in everyone's face. Right. You know, like, oh, check this out. There's transversal in that you guys made kill themselves actually supports me.

So, haha, that's an apology. Yeah. Right. But to me, it's like, but now I feel betrayed as a fellow comic. Yeah, because you're apologizing for something that was intended to be a joke. Yeah, you're undercutting the market. So now you're saying that we did a lot of bad stuff. Yeah, kind of apologizing for a lot of shit I've done. Yeah, exact racist joke. Yeah, because at least I can always go like even with people go through and they go, oh, you've used the N word in jokes or you've made racist jokes. I go, yeah, tons of comics have

done it. And then I go, look at Joe Rogan, I go, yeah, but he ain't fucking apologize. Yeah. Cause he knows it's wrong. And you should know it's wrong too. And I just got to go, no, I disagree. Like, I think it's part of, this is the thing I don't like is if I'm telling a story and I talked a little bit about my upbringing before, I've dated women that are different

ethnicities, my partner of 10 years is Middle Eastern. So it's like, if I'm telling stories about the racism that we encounter, who am I doing a disservice to by censoring those stories? If I'm censoring what people say to me, I'm actually protecting the real racism, that the racist, I'm covering for the racist who said it to me.

Yeah, you know what I mean? And then the second thing is it's not true. I feel that way about racism, Gerald. Like why do you want them to lie about it? It's very easy to just not say it. Well, this is how I felt moving from Philly to Minnesota. Like I moved from Philly to Minnesota and at least when I was growing up

and my mom was dating James, the racism was out in the open. Right? I didn't have to do any sleuthing. When I moved to Minnesota, it's all under the veil. I was out with a black woman that I met at one of the black clubs I was doing stand-up in.

We went to a Mexican restaurant. We figured nice middle ground. So we're sitting there. I mean, when you went a white person and a black person have a baby, they're not Mexican. No, they're really. Just checking it out. What if they're raised Mexican. No, they're really, just checking. What if they're raised Mexican, which was our plan?

Anyway, we're sitting there. This white woman comes up as they're leaving with their to-go bags, comes up and literally stops at our table and she goes, you know what? Good for you two. And I was like, I would have rather her burned across. That are fucking top yours. and like that's better. Literally walk up and go, good for you too. I hate that kind of racism way fucking more.

I saw after Obamacot elected, I was at the gym. I saw this old ass man, 2009 or so. Oh, they were going nuts. I saw this old ass man walk up to a black guy like doing the old ass man doing the machine sanki balls walks up to a black guy, you know, I just want to say already It's a really great thing that happened Yesterday and I'm like I'm like sitting on my All people do that shit. Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, man cool. Oh, no, that's gonna feel so bad

With a fire hose Humanity probably think the guy just got acquitted the day before yeah, I mean to yeah, oh Listen, I know you've never met your children, but I promise you they'd be very proud of you I complimented him, but it was like, I've seen that. It's very uncomfortable. I know that white woman sat over to her table with her fucking hundred year old husband, just like, yeah.

And then like, you know what, I'm gonna be the bigger person. I'm a Christian. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use them as a tool and my, I'm gonna stuff my rage down and I'm gonna kill him with kindness. And I go, can you please just next time come to the table and shout the N word interface so that I can punch your husband and we can all just go on living a real life.

Like civilized people. Yeah. So my thinking on the apology is, like you ever try to get a woman to apologize for literally anything? Oh, I saw your Twitter others, I loved your take on it. And they will get you to admit five or six things

that you've done wrong before they even start thinking about an amount. Mind us, the opposite. She'll apologize and they go, but you do. And I go, that's not an apology. That's fine too. So when I see Joe Rogan going like, I'm sorry, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you guys think this is because men are very bad at doing this.

Like you need to have a woman apologizing for all the end words for you. Like, well, you know, I said them, but let's all take a moment. Let's be real here through the inventory. And in a lot of cases, you guys were being them. Yeah. But I guarantee you, if it was like a very pretty large chested white woman, they'd go, you know, maybe I need to take a look at myself. Yeah. And was I, you know what I mean?

Let's see. Biden's declaring war on cancer. Oh, really? Yeah. You ready for cancer lockdowns? Cancer lockdowns. What? You know, well, we've got to fix everything.

War on, all the other wars have been going so great. The war on drugs, the war on the Middle East, the war on war. As Carlin said, we don't do anything about it. We just declare war on it. We can end cancer as we, I feel like there's so many other things. End cancer? End cancer as we know it. The same people that bought up, we can end COVID, respiratory disease.

It's in the air. Yeah. Buying this all, I mean, I'm trying to throw in the dystopian future to come where all the things that we know cause cancer, sunlight, meat, exercise, smoking, alcohol, like I know what you guys are capable of taking away from me now. Let's see if you're Michael Douglas. Yeah, right. Right.

H.P. What a great, what a great information. What a great, yeah, what a great H.P. Right. You know, Michael Douglas, yeah, throw cats or anything that happened. I love pussy too much. I'm giving of a man and it's it's bitten me in the neck. That was great cause of all the smoking.

It's actually it's because of pussy. Yeah, I'd like to be Catherine Zeta Jones in that moment. You know, you got a toxic pussy. Cheryl Heinz, husband, RFK was doing like an anti stop the mandates rally and she goes on Twitter and denounces her husband. Meanwhile, Michael Douglas is like pussy is destroying my soul from the inside up and Catherine Zeta Jones.

No comment. That's fucking loyalty. That's loyalty. Take no women. Be Catherine. Don't be Cheryl. Oh God. Yeah.

I don't know. R.F.K. is like, I don't maybe think we should vaccinate children You know that crazy fringe argument Cheryl hides is like I don't support anything my husband says Michael Degas goes my wife's busy in separate me. It's poisoning my body. I need chemotherapy and she's just I'm not making a statement It's my husband. Sorry. Yeah Let me see what else I got me Meanwhile, if somebody claimed Lizzo did, she'd be like, you right. You have a bad, hell shit on the planet.

I hope that it does. Like I really, you know. Then it puts, he kills somebody. Yeah. Yeah. That would be Lizzo. And you get to put a little warning label on it or something.

Sure. I don't know. Yeah. The largest straight jacket in American history. Okay, here's one. Here's people supporting defending or stopping shoplifters at Walmart. That's making me rage this week. Let me find the clip of it. The old lady. The old lady. Oh, you know, I want to see if I know you as well. I, you know, you can be cast as the Walmart. I know. I'm not gonna stop you.

I want to see if I know you as well as I think you know, I know that you hate it because of what she says at the end and it's a complete misunderstanding of how economics and supply chain works. I didn't even listen to what she said at the end. Oh, yeah, right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's the part that make you rage the most, you see. Okay, this is a gentleman with a hoodie, a face mask,

because that's a Walmart, right? I feel like I know. Totally. Yeah, looks like it. Yeah. He's got a basket full of goodies. Where are the people checking? Where are the people checking the receipts? Everyone might go there. They're all stealing stuff too. I don't know. They've eliminated that position due to the cut downs. Yeah. Those people were all killed. Yeah. Here you go. So he's the guy with the cut downs. Those people were all killed. Yeah, here you go.

So the guy with the cards walking all of his free shit out. Yeah. And then this... Is that for that? Huh? Are you gonna pay for that? Yeah. Where? Huh?

Are you gonna pay for it? Just the guy confronting him at. And an old lady's blocking the door with her stuff and start saying excuse me to the guy trying to get past with all this stolen shit in his body. Well, how much of a pussy would you feel like if you're going, are you gonna pay for that? You're a man and you're filming and then an 80 year woman stops the guy. Get that fucking mask off your head. 80 year old woman with a cloth mask on grabs his what is that a

baclava those things that there's the ski masks that they wear and starts yanking it off his head while this poor guy is got groceries and a bicycle what you say god damn what god damn thieves Goddamn thieves. He's got trash bags in there. Yeah, among other things, he's not stealing Legos. He's trying to make a poncho. How great would it be, by the way, if those were for bodies? And we have no idea how much of a hero this woman is as we shit on her. He's gonna make, he's making a Ku Klux Klan robes DIY.

Yeah. He's the best he could making a Ku Klux Klan robes DIY Yeah, that's a good dude for his rally white trash back See have white trash The black grads I think I send him back I got the first word for everybody else because you knew that source. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

The old insurance fraud argument, huh? You just jacked up the price for everyone else. You assholes. That's what's stopping us. That's our problem. That's how they price things. Yeah. Well, that's how much got stolen this year.

Yeah. Well, like a million bucks. Well, we're going to need to add an extra penny on to everything. And somebody who's worked in corporate retail and has extensive loss prevention background. You know how much of our loss every year accounts for internal theft. It's like less than one percent. Less than stuff they just get's not tracked. You know how much of it is employee theft?

90% and the rest of it is stupid fucking accounting. It's just, it's. It is a horrible to like some of this guy stealing, I mean, this guy stealing goods for his house, right? Because the government house or yeah, for his car, yeah, because the government fucked the economy over. Yeah. How do you know this guy's house wasn't repossessed when he, right, for closed on, I mean, you know, jacked up by banks, you got paid by the government, right, and then bailed out and then bailed out and paid twice what they would have lost. So he's stealing shit to probably reinproof his car out of a Walmart.

His tent is whatever. Yeah, out of a corporate box store that's not even noticed this. And you've got, you've got Charles, you got Mrs. Charles Bronson in there. Trying to tear his mask off. Who's going to who's going to cost the the store more getting killed in the lobby in the lawsuit. Yeah fighting and then worst of all you've got this pundit class of conservatives on all of the internet saying that this is a good thing.

Yeah. That this is manly and that feverie has to be stopped by vigilantes fighting drug addicts and poor people and the homeless in Walmart fucking parking lots. Yeah. This is what they think. They've got millions of followers and they're saying, you know what? This is great.

You got to get out there and start roughing. So, the only thing. I'm going to go to the best buy on Vine Street, on Fairfax and hollywood and i'm gonna see i'm gonna steal destiny to come fucking stop me right yeah i'm like let's go for it then body right how are you telling people you're telling people who are functionally retarded and have nothing to do in their lives

to go start fist fights and a fucking part what do you think that's gonna do to help insurance you dumb bitch yeah first it's a self defense, fantasy of a self defense situation. Then it's like, the righteous, I'm not guaranteeing me, they're attacking my prices. They're attacking my low prices. You get them.

The righteous high ground to go do this. I saw so outrageous. Well, and this is the problem is that like, when you have legitimate self defense things, dickheads who end up going and doing shit like this, muddy the waters. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it just fucks up the entire thing for everybody.

And then also, Charlie Kirk is not going to go do this. Now, you tweet this with a video of you stopping somebody at a door and saying, Hey, man, this isn't right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Don't be the guy who's like, yeah, everybody should do seed spot. Everyone should do with this fragile woman is doing you, pussy's who cost Charlie Kirk, who cost this? The woman who's been voting her entire life

that caused this hellscape that we're in, that we locked everything down to protect her geriatric ass is still out there policing the streets, wearing a fucking mask, getting in a homeless guy's face because it's driving up the price of glad bags. Yeah. Um, this outrageous. I hope they, I hope people do try to do it and that they all get stabbed.

But it like, that's gonna happen, right? No one's gonna do this in LA. People are getting shot, not intervening. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not that it's not. Why aren't you intervening? Yeah.

It's just, it's gonna happen. Yeah. I got shot lifting. What are you fucking doing? No, right right shooting the guy is not doing anything about him. Yeah, I could have shot the thief But I shot this guy for being a pussy. Yeah, he's not stop. He's a good man not standing up to Evela Sure, bro. He's stealing fucking glad trash bags Yeah, the greater evil is when good men do nothing. Mm-hmm. So I have to shoot this guy who watched this guy rape a woman. Oh, that sound logic.

That sound logic, you know? I think that is where we're at. Let's see here. Can't read. Something about holy shit. Did you see in the metaverse, a woman was virtually gang raped? Yeah. Who posted the thing that was like, just take the fucking headset off, bitch, Michael Malice. Just take off the headset. No, that's not. So then just in your

mind, then they can't get no closure. Oh, on this rape goes on forever. Yeah. If they disconnect halfway through, yeah, yeah, like when a song, you don't listen to it all the way through. Yeah. Yeah. All day, if you're in the Metaverse and you're getting gang raped and you try to log out, you just keep getting gang raped in your head. You know that? She making like a big deal out of it. I don't know the story.

Sean, they changed the rules of the Metaverse because of her. Really? They added social distancing. It's the Metaverse. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Meta, yeah. Metaverse adds distancing. It's a metaphor is my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Meta, yeah. Metaverse adds distancing, social distancing. What is it saying about us as our species that are made up pretend world is more fucking pussy than our pussy real world. Also by the way, not a great, like no one's calling out how racist this is.

They had the social distance to black. I'm a guy. You know, this is. They had the social distance. The black guy. He's a black shun. This white woman is all upset. Yeah. And she's like, no, you guys gotta put a barrier in there. I'll keep you raping me right now in the metaverse. Wait, bring that up. Also, they also apparently black people have no teeth online.

Jesus Christ. They've got to have frozen over here waving. I'm just gonna say it away. It's my super suit. This is the black ring. Black people can only take three points at you, three point shots at you in the meta varies. Yeah. This is the white layer right here. You can get in. I don't really get any specific. So they've, so their solution to making the metaverse better is to literally allow people to live in a bubble.

Yeah, you can't get close to anyone. Yeah, well, we have to do actually. So what we're going to do in the metaverse because we've been having a lot of problems with the blood. The black meta's raping the white, we're going to have some whites only restaurants in the metaverse. I like how we're just re-gonna filter. We're re-gonna go mix. Like in your version, that doesn't respect their color scheme. And you're, I don't know why the, like it's an imaginary, too stupid to be made up. It's an imaginary world. So can't they just sit over there and go like, type out like I'm raping you?

Like isn't that the same? Is just being on, because the things just go like this. Is that what happens? I mean, they don't, they just, yeah. They look like weebles. Yeah, they don't. Yeah. They look like weebles. Yeah. They don't have dicks.

Yeah. Why would they put a dick on these things? I get it, but it's like, yeah, obviously you know what he's doing. Oh, they'll start putting dicks on him. As soon as women start demanding that they get the option to put a dick on. Yeah. Oh, I actually identify as a man. I need a dick on my lady after time.

Can I get a dick now? Yeah. You got to switch, you got to switch things. Yeah. I don't know if I got anything sweet, you got a switch. Yeah. I don't know if I got anything else. I got some comments. It's one 13 already. Fuck. We're having a good time. Yeah. We are having a good time. Thank you for coming in, Josh. Can you plug your stuff? He's an actual LA comedian. Not really. I know you call me really. I can't perform

in LA now because of all the damn vaccine mandates. So, yeah, I'm not going to be one of these guys who's like, here's my fake card. Oh, I am. Am I? Are you? So, here's how I look at fake cards. Here's how I look at fake cards. Can't be city hall. Yeah, I understand, but here's how I look at fake cards.

It's sort of like being during segregation and somebody's like, do you really want to go into that white's only restaurant? Your four segregation? It's like, well, not four segregation, but like, have you had their fucking poppy? I'm hungry. I'm not going to not eat the pot pie. I'm not going to make myself white in the parking lot.

Yeah, so not to try to make myself sound better than anybody, but that's just my take on. I just like, no, I don't. Yeah. I don't go to Chipotle or a. I got it. Sorry. No, I'm just, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna provide fraudulent documentation

to go perform for free. Well, did you drink when you were like 19? Did you have a fake ID? No, I don't drink. You never have drank? Well, I have, but I just, I don't. Oh, wow. What about when you were, you're not 18 now.

I've tried when I was young. Yeah, I tried. I tried the ID. No, I never, I never tried to get in anywhere. Oh, okay. No, we drank it. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I grew up, I never tried to get in anywhere now. Okay. No, we drank at people's houses like the trash we are.

Like we, my, I grew up, I grew up around such poor trash pieces of shit. It was never like, let's try to get into a bar. It was just like, open your dad's fridge and let's fucking go. Like, that's all it was. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I feel like I grew up around people who were like moms would sit at the party and drink with their kids.

Yeah, okay. That's where I grew up. Yeah. This is like, I know it's it. I support it, but then I also think like, well, how much of my taxes am I paying? Do I really like, is this really the one that's never going to stop? Like, this is, this is the one we're not winding anything back. It would be nice to slow down the tyranny, but I just don't think it's gonna happen. You know what I mean? Yeah. So.

But yeah, yeah, people can check me out. Just go to JoshDennyComedy.com. You can get all my stuff there. I have a show on censored TV. We're in between seasons right now. We're about to get into season two of next week tonight. And I have a podcast called Jankham, which I love that time.

Jankham sometimes. Yeah, let's get into it. Yeah. What a great name for a fucking bot. It's a great, it's a great allegory for the times we're living in. Everybody goes, Jankham, you mean huffing raw shit? I go, yeah, pretty much every fucking day.

Gerard Rardon says, Goddamn, Professor Dick, you have become a grammar Nazi. I've always been a grammar Nazi. That's part of the, that's one of my favorite parts when you, I correct the spelling of the grammar. Well, I do it too, especially if they're talking shit. We just go, meh. The problem with grammar Nazis is that they're not, not, they don't know enough grammar. Like they'll get you on there, there and there, but they'll use irrespectively. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We only throw $700 billion more dollars at the problem. Because teachers don't have enough money for your construction paper and markers. Yeah. That's why we're doing it.

Do they, what do they need the construction paper and markers for to our to teach about the Holocaust? Yeah, to illustrate that they don't have genitalia that they're non-binary. The teachers are all telling the same thing. I was kids get worse every year. Oh yeah. You would need more money.

We don't get enough respect. Like, well, you just said you're getting worse at whose fault is anyway. You guys aren't getting that I'm not a man or a woman. Open up your textbooks. Justin says, close the don't fit, Rage. What makes me Rage is losing a fuckload of weight and looking like a retard because all my shirts are 3 XL and I lost 100 pounds. Everything I own looks like a potato. Nice humble brag, by the way, fuck you dude. No, we're some of us are trying. Underpants are too tight because my dick is so big. Yeah, that's the same thing.

Fat watch, I absolutely love fat watch and could listen to you and Sean riffing on him planets for an hour. I had to pause last week's episode while driving because I was laughing so hard that there was a good chance of rear-ending someone. Wow. Sean's spinikers, Zinger, from two weeks ago,

made me laugh so hard. I think I got a little sailing reference. My abdomen. Please keep, I'm glad somebody appreciated that. Please keep and even expand on this bit, sincerely some asshole. I wanted to make fat watch patches, because I couldn't do a shirt,

because nobody's gonna wear fat, that's a little much. Yeah, like it. Yeah, but it was how watch. But a patch you could put on like a backpack or a gun case. It's a little more acceptable, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fat watch. Have you guys seen that that Pam and Tommy show? I just the trailer for I wanted to watch it, but then I saw it was, it was episodic, a series that said, no, like, give me a movie. I'll tell you what though, the job they did on this girl, Lili James, to make her look like no shit. It's the greatest fucking thing I've ever, it's the best portrayal of anyone. And she nails her voice, mannerisms, personality,

everything. I mean, it's, it's, you, you stop thinking you're watching not family interesting. I really wanted to say it. It's insane. I'll probably break down. It's good. It's worth it. It's with six hours. Yeah. First episode. It's a little slow. The second episode makes up for it with a lot of hardcore fucking. Breaking bad did this to us. And Jason Manzucas is the voice of Tommy Lee's dick, which is pretty great. Oh, he has a dick. A dick that talks to him, yeah. It's that kind of show.

Yeah. Seth Rogan, of course. Okay, let me- Oh, is that who did it? Yes, Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg. Oh, gotcha. Made this series. Speaking of Fat Watch, let's go ahead and do-

Fat Watch, today and that news. This is an article from, for my, don't have from R. Here's an article for fat watch. It is a local Vancouver plus size model. Loses half a million Instagram followers overnight. Oh, basically apparently normal size women are allowed occasional nudity on Instagram, but when she did it, it was immediately taken down, probably because no one wants to see it, he says, let's see, let's get a load of this.

There we go. Here she is. Wait, hold on, what's her name? Jennifer Palsenbar. Palsenbar. Is there a fatter fucking name than that? Palsenbar. Jennifer Palsenbar. Believes Instagram. Palsenbar. in bars. Is there a fatter fucking name than that? Paulson's bar. For Paulson's bar.

Believes Instagram. Paulson's bar. The activation has something to do with community violations. A mast on her account. From using previously reported photos of her modeling lingerie for a bring- oh no, why was she modeling lingerie? Oh, please. Sorry guys.

A Vancouver plus size model is speaking out. Well, let's see the pictures. Yeah, no, this is tame compared to what we have seen in week's past. Yeah. Instagram guidelines don't permit nudity with the exception of some photos of female nipples, the context of breath. They probably thought they were dressing up a cow or something. Or if a whore just puts a sheer see through cloth over them.

I think I'd pretend that it's right. It's somehow, we only show it in like the instance of breastfeeding, medical, yeah, or if I just go, hey, they're just going to have fake babies in every picture. Yeah. So that would be hilarious. You're just getting, it's just hardcore pornography, but you're holding a squeezing milk into a child's mouth right perfect it's like yes this is not an ography is a breastfeeding video you fucking animals why are these guys so into

babies ruby something mock back up some bovine wait does that what she thinks is lingerie it's a goddamn du cover. It's a complete dress. Just like a Pirates of the Caribbean extra. I thought I ate about these duvet covers is that the blanket gets all mush to one side inside of it, kind of like her tits and that thing. It takes her like an hour to put on. Oh yeah.

Get it out of the dryers, she hangs it over the balcony and you get it for the last bit. Yeah, yeah, cause it's nice. She gets yourself in and it's like, how the fucking corner's in the wrong side. Could you imagine trying to help her fold that thing and be like trying to do an oversized fitted sheet?

You're just like, what do we start with the corners or the middle? I don't know where the corner is. Oh no. Oh no. She ruined motorcycles. She's, wow. They must have put new shocks on that thing

before she got a motorcycle. Okay, let me see if we can. You know the guy who actually owns that motorcycle was just like, go easy on it, please. If you could sort of hold your weight up off the bike. Oh, she's in the shower here. Beautiful. That's actually just somebody putting ranch on her salad.

I'm out of the frame. Let me find the other one. She's got them fucking sag my gags. I would rather girl have no tits than those things. You see how they're just, look at the side profile in that red one where it's just like, well, it just looks like a sock full of spam. It's like a suggestion of tits. Yeah, she's got there.

Oh, here it is. This is Carla. All right. This is more like it. Is that like a fucking, is that a guard or two million? Is that like a quarter tattoo around her? She's verified as though anyone could mistake her for, yeah. You got to be right. She's so big that they're unmistakable from each other. How did they verify her profile with a drone? This is Carla sex to calm these. Oh, it's all in some another language. Is that pigeon? It's fat. I don't know. I speak. I speak this. Actually, you can understand. You can understand. It's been a little

doobie. She'll see you call people. Is it because the fingers hit the adjacent keys and you have to learn how to like it's like guys I'll translate for you. Uh, sexy, sexy has never looked this good. Ha, ha, ha, ha. While some women's milkshake brings all, oh, sorry. While some women's milkshake brings all the boys. Yeah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, it's a video. It's a video. OK, let's see if this is Carlo. What do you got for? I'm just pop this and oh no Why don't you bring a tuba saw I feel like this is a deontored video. Oh, it's got sense of humor I guess with the tuba That's a lot of cellulite in the back

Oh my God. Oh, that's a lot of cellulite in the back. Am I five? Yes, I mean, that is a manatee. Look, for sure. Yeah. I like, I like the little tattoo. She was at a beach that I was at. I would ask for people to help me push her back in.

Yeah. Okay, last one. I'd be worried if she went in the ocean, then like my beach towel and umbrella and stuff would get wet. Yeah. You know, from the rising tide. I'm like, guys, if she's out here, there must be a titleist in her blowhole. See what's happening with that, my friends. Okay, this is just a girl trying though.

Like, let her try. You think so? Yeah, let her try. Well, let's hear it talk. Cause if she's like, if she's like, I'm done, then yeah, we have to shoot her back. I think that there's, my baby something, the ferry is here and that she's taking pictures at the gym and posting those.

And not actually doing the reps. Yeah. Not actually working out. So I don't go. I don't want anybody to think I'm faking it. Fitness influencer gets body shamed while making workout video. Oh no. Social media.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't get to be an influencer yet. You're a, you know, I think this, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no She's established. I was a social media influencer. Can we please call her a fixing past mistakes influencer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting there is fine. influencer. A trying influencer is fine. But this is a goal for a lot of, they're so big that this is actually Svelte. And she's not in Finifat.

What is it about women where it just all goes below the waist? Like if I could just get some of the fat below my belt line like this bitch. Yeah. You have big thighs. Pretty much. No, I just like I'm thin everywhere, but the, but here men and women's. I can't get in this influence. I might as well be inside edition. If we just treated men like we treat women who we all know are insane. You could be on here serious. Like talking about if somebody bought me a green man suit, a full body like Spandex Leotard, I would wear it to the gym and create a fitness influencer or Instagram and see how big we could make it. I would do this. Okay, here is the

interviewer, whatever this is, struggle session. This plus size social media influencer. How much do you think she weighs? 200? She's 220. 220? Yeah, okay. She's doing some sort of a pull down. You know what's so sad about women that was like sometimes like 220 and she's like I'm 150 and you're like oh, she's just three feet six.

You know, okay, here we go. Plus to motivate her many fans to hit the gym. Betty Red posts exercise in fashion videos and has more than 500,000 followers. So people are out there. She's dressing up in many workout outfits, but I just don't believe she works out. I'm sorry. I believe she dresses up and goes to the gym and like takes video of doing exercises, but I don't believe it. I wonder what brand all this yoga gear is, Haliburton? It's like me, I give up drinking, but every week my trash can is like,

clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, I don't know about that, man. Yeah. Also, I love that she left the packaging for her workout clothes on the left, so that it's literally like, I just opened these. These are all brand new. If she had to walk across the apartment

and throw them away, so. Oh, well, that's... That's what I was gonna say. These are all brand new. If you had to walk across the apartment to throw them away. So, well, that's what I was gonna say. How long has she been a, quote unquote, fitness influencer? Because if she's actually working out, like she said, and I think you're right about this, then she would be getting smaller, fairly rapidly. We could see. You would be surprised.

I mean, has she been in influence for like two years and is still exactly the same? Then she had to do a shit. 500,000. Hold on a second, let me devil's food advocate this. I could tell you that if you just waterboard yourself with McDonald's, you could literally go to the gym for two hours a day and see no improvement. Yeah, okay.

Absolutely. Yeah, Ben there. Yeah. Let's see the story. Each stuff the 24 year old was just fat shamed during this workout. She's standing in the first sun. She must be going to a woman's only. Yeah, I like to, it was all fat itself.

I'll prove you wrong. You know why I know this is the first time she was fat shamed because she's in there. Because unless a woman is criticized or told she's disgusting, she's not going to do anything to make herself more desirable. She's in the room, she's in the hardwood room that they usually do yoga in. Looking at the mirror, she's wearing a very revealing two piece that I don't think should be, but she's bursting out of the front.

Here, let's hear, she's about to be fat shamed right now. The woman who heckles Betty at the gym in Chicago is blurred, but you can clearly hear that. Feeling this is like a juicy, small, ed thing. She said it out. Yeah, I do. Look, she's holding a new snow. That's so cool. Sandwich.

For roping, steers. For her. Newer her out of the gym. That's so much sandwich. It's for roping, steers. You are. You are. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym.

You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym.

You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are her out of the gym. You are glad it done the laugh. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm doing it myself if I met the gym. I find it on a treadmill or something.

I'll look at the mirror that's across with the people that are squatting and they look at your fucking dits. You fat fuck, why you even try it? Look at you. Wow, it's pretty brutal. Body shaming, you know. I think this is a,

I think this is a Sui small A case. Yeah, yeah. Il, like she was fat shaming you. They love that. It's remodeling people up in a torious body-shaming photo taken in an LA gym locked with other fun suspecting naked women. You see what women have to deal with going to the gym? By the way, somebody going, this girl's got it easy.

This is our father's chiming in. This girl's got it easy. You know when your's chiming in. This girl's got it easy. You know, when your grandmother tried to work out in 1946, they threw fish at her. They literally, they walked it with a bucket of fish and started throwing them in your grandmother's mouth. You know what she did? She just kept on working out. With the words, if I can't unsee this, then you can't either. Yeah. The woman who posted the photo was a former fan made in the year. Oh, make sure. She's since the college I've been on for the whole day.

She's been laughing all day. And said she intended to send the photo to one friend. That's the apology. Look, I just intended to share it privately. Right. I didn't want people to know what I'm like. I didn't mean to do a three hour live stream about it. I must have pressed the wrong button on my everything.

I was in Africa. And it took a whole snapchat followers. After Betty posted the fat shaming video, it went viral with more than 7 million views. If you could say anything to that person now, after this video, I'm in Sean's corner. Why is this girl doing press and I'm getting in? It's a setup. Look in the mirror and change. Oh, that hair.

Yeah, that's the hot news. I don't believe that at all. Also, by the way, this is just how personal trainers shame people into buying $7,000 worth of training. What the fuck are you doing over here? Just faking it and take a bit. That room is like kind of coveted at the gym. Well, she and they're just fucking around taking video.

Like, you know, the video is at the gym is annoying in and of itself because you're using equipment or you're seeing like she might have been wanting to go in there. No work out. No work out. No work out. No work out. No work in there to work out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out.

No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out.

No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out. No word out.

No word out. No word out. No word you're going to love being in a relationship. No, autistic dating. Have you ever watched a show love on the spectrum? I couldn't. I watched a couple of episodes on the spectrum. No, dude, we have to watch it. Okay. I'll make you watch it with me. They're very autistic. It's amazing. It's the best show ever. Well, the worst thing to make you cry because it's very heartfelt at times. Yeah, but it's also fucking hilarious.

But the worst thing is, it's like the level of autism does not equally match up. Or can you can't tell? Yes, the way the autistic women, you're like, well, are you also just a woman so you can communicate better? But they're matching up like misleveled autism. Yeah. Ah, man.

Oh, it's better for that girl. That sucks for that guy. She's out of your autistic league. Yeah. Yeah, I understand it of your autistic league. Yeah. Yeah, I understand it's a spectrum, but maybe let's try to get them somewhat close to the same color. Yeah, let's say both green.

We're both red, not one of the, not red. Because we're all red. Some of the dates in season one, it's literally like a guy who's like, I'll get nervous and cry out. It's an Australian. So he's like, I'll get a little bit nervous and cry out in spaces.

And then the woman they pair with is like, but, it's like, yeah. the woman they pair with is like, And then they make these people date, dude, if I were the cameraman on the show, all my footage would be like, I just laugh. They're freaking out the entire time. Yeah. You know, it's, it's really it's fucking abuse. They're putting these people out and fucking. I disagree.

I think I'm teasing them. It's funny when it's like a dick, huh? Well, you're gonna have to humiliate yourself on camera, buddy. Let's make him as archivalers. Season two. You got to watch season one so you know the players, even though it's horrific. And then season two, really. It's the same people coming back. Some of them, yeah, but it's it's so. The ones who haven't killed themselves. It's really hits it's stride. And the middle of season two, There's one is so messed up.

The one kid though, the main kid Michael is so funny because he's like so blunt. Yeah, I think he's the one I'm talking about. He's a fun kind of autistic. There's a seeded season two where he's like, I was only harmony for 12 months and just couldn't mean anybody, mom. And I'm not gonna waste another $274.

And she goes, but Michael, what if it was the 13th month that you finally met, that special summer? It was only 12 months in a year. He literally, he'd say you dumb cunt, but it felt like he did. That's, I also feel like I didn't even have my name.

Burst into autistic rage on their days. Like either one of them. So I'm like, and it's like watching a NASCAR race. Like either one of them. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like watching a NASCAR race. Like, oh God, please don't like that. He tied their hands down or something. Like, you know, at any moment, like, ah, start freaking out. Yeah.

There's none of that. It's actually a really good show. It's really, you know, it's really heartwarming. Let's check it out after the Pamela Anderson thing. I actually think if regular people watch it, it'll make them kill themselves, because if these two fucking people can fall in love, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Okay, where was I? I don't know. I don't know if it's just a painting wall. And I already see paid whores on the regular. Wow. Winning, yeah. Logically, I wouldn't want one, but I still have an emotional drive to get a girlfriend.

I mean, your autism has nothing to do with this. This is how all of us feel. Logically, I don't wanna have anything to do with this, but I just do it and then say, whoops. Eventually, you get to drunk one night and the next thing you know, you got a girlfriend. Oh well, that's what happens. Bad weather and you're like, uh, nothing's going on.

Okay. They just wear us down. Yeah. Try to go as long as you can without getting one. That's my advice. What do you think? It's great advice. It's pretty sound.

Um, thing to read on the show. Hey, Dick, I'm sending you this through your email. Boyfriend on the other hand, probably pretty cool second income, you know, Oh, you should try to get a boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Cause then I would make, then he's got another obstacle to getting a girlfriend. So get a boyfriend. Yeah. So then you could say, you guys will, you know, you should try to get a boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, cause then it would make, then he's got another obstacle to getting a girlfriend. So get a boyfriend.

Yeah. So then you could say, you can't build a financial future together that actually appreciates and value over the years. Yeah, God, they have a good, there's a reason why gay guys are so happy. They all get to fucking retire at 52. You don't have to talk them out of shopping

at little professionalism. Probably no kids. No, yeah. I'll show you, I'll show you, I have a buddy of mine who's a body builder, he's gay. His life looks amazing. Yeah. It's like, dude, it's, it really, you know,

he's a chef and a fucking body builder and you literally go through his feed, and you're just like, you mother. What's wrong with me? Like, what, is it real? Like, why couldn't my brother make fun of me more as a kid? So I can be living this life exactly I'd be you if I go

away. If I only had the courage to jump over that cliff you'll give him a complex. I love that. And boys with a time machine. Hey, can you turn me can you call Uncle molesto and have him over here because I'm tired of dealing with women. I'm really show. Hey, take I'm sending you this through your email because I believe it's a prologue.

Anyway, I have a prologue. I have come to terms with myself being trans, M to F in case you were wondering. Yes, that's very important. I'm pretty much wondering. It's all I'm wondering. Immediately the only thing I'm wondering and I'm wondering where to go from there.

From F, I guess you could go Z to hell That was that was great That's like that. I apologize That's like that go to am to Africa hell to hell. It's like that. Go to, to hell. To hell. To hell. It's like that Bo Burnham joke. The great one back from back of the day when he goes, I asked my mom what gay sex was and she said, well, Bo and two men are one, two people love each other.

Sometimes what they do is they take off all their clothes. They go behind closed doors and they shit on the Bible. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha make things worse, I'm primarily attracted to women, which doesn't help matters. Thanks college graduated LGBT Hitler youth group for the possible lesbian Charles Manson for that. Huh, not sure what that was supposed to mean. Yeah. Thanks, thank the LGBT Hitler youth group for possible lesbian Charles Manson for that. So there was a lesbian

and her LGBT group that maybe may have attracted to women. Okay. This just sounds like someone who hates their dick. Yeah. There's a lot to hate about. It gets you into a lot of trouble. Oh, absolutely. I never actually ever get that call that you might have knocked a girl up. No. Yeah. That will make you think about cutting it off. I got a maybe, you have a chlamydia call. Oh, that's, yeah, that's the worst. Child's play.

Child's play, my friend. You ever have the prostitutitis call? That's bad. Oh, what's that? Yeah, it's a bad and it's worse than chlamydia. Cause it lasts for like three months. Oh, yeah. My doctor to find out what it was is she's like,

once we ruled out VD because I've been in the same relationship for 10 years, she's like, listen, do you guys do a lot of ass play? And I was like, no, and she goes, I'm a doctor, you can be honest with me. I'm just gonna say yes. Yeah, she's like, I'm looking at you and I think people are shoving shit in your ass.

And I go, no, and she goes the only way that you can get a prostate infection like this, that if you're not getting paid. Is it effect the treatment that you're going to get in this fucking question? She goes, the only other way she's saying this like, this is how she's going to catch me lying. She goes, the only other way it's possible for you to get this kind of prostate infection if you're not getting paged is if you're holding your shits in on cross country flights

every week. And I go, yeah, I have a few network show. That's a blast. He doesn't get up out of the chair of the plane to go shit at a closet. Prove it. All your episodes are deleted. Yeah. I still have the guy.

Yeah, yeah. So it's just like, yeah, I'm hold, I am holding my shirt. By the way, she was how long you've been doing that. I go, 37 years. Like, I'm not a guy who's just like, can I go into your bathroom and just ruin our friendship? I'm coming to you instead of your typical LGBT hug box thing, because you'd be more helpful in this regards than those guys.

Thanks, lady shit fucked. The name I would like to be known as on the show. I'm not sure what the question is. I like it. It's my favorite. What a lady. Creeple Jesus. And lady shit fucked.

Oh, I love this place. That's woman race here for you. Just the trans people are taking the identity and acting exactly as you'd expect a woman to. I don't, okay, what's the question? I've come to terms with being trans. I'm wondering where to go. I'm attracted to women, which doesn't help.

Janja, Janja, me like you just try to take jobs away from ladies. I think that would help. Cause then you could like sneak into what they're doing, and they're not gonna treat you like a rapist. Yeah. You come in, you know, we have to come up with elaborate lies to talk to them at all. That's why I told you, if I would have went with you and vetoed to the protest, I would

have worn a dress. I try it, motherfuckers. Try it? Hey, crime me. Remembering some of the people that were there, I think they would have not asked a single question about it. Not at all. I wouldn't have done it.

I wouldn't have even have trimmed this and I would have done nothing. Yeah. No, mate, just as a matter of your dress. Yeah, I know. That's, you got to use their silliness against them. Their heads would have all exploded. My ass, you would have been like,

I'm four Dave Chappelle, but, but, but, but, but, but, but you're a lady. My favorite interaction that day was this guy, not getting thrown into, not for the least trash game can to a concrete defensive architecture. Yeah. To a ball. So homeless people don't have.

It was a buy. For some reason, I was thinking it was like one of those big stone trash receptacles where there's like this much trash can and then this much. I know too many. That's a great way. Yeah. The little pebbles. Yeah.

It was this conversation with a guy who said, the holes this fucking biggie kitty but put a fast food bag down it. And put it cigarette in there. Yeah. No one that fills up, they got to take it away and make a new one. Yeah.

It was a guy who said, well, trans people should absolutely, they should go in the women's bathrooms. I see, I don't really feel like I can tell women to put themselves in a dangerous situation just because it makes me uncomfortable. It's dangerous. It could just be uncomfortable. Yeah.

I don't really think that I can say like, Hey, women, will you just like, you know, do this? I mean, I don't want to, because I want people to like me. You might agree, I don't even know. You might agree or have made this point on the show before, but all of this cancel culture shit is, it all stems from what happened with HR in the 80s and 90s because at one point a legal got involved with HR when they were making policy and said of course they did. All right women if a man fist fucks you in the copy room, what does that make you feel and they go uncomfortable?

And then they go and if a man says nice haircut Karen, what does that also make you feel and they go also uncomfortable? And they go also uncomfortable. And they go, these are the same things. And so now we live in a world where like Joe Rogan saying ends is like, you are burning crosses. This is the same thing. It's there's no nuance. And so to your point, by the standard of it, just making a woman uncomfortable in the

bathroom, that should be enough. Yeah. And it's so well, I don't know what the bathroom. That should be enough. Yeah. And it's so, well, I don't know what I say. It's so easy to fix. Like, well, then just make, like, stop having a big, uh, uh, uh, a corral for the bathroom and make single rooms. Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. There's no other way to do it. But some bars have it, but it's just bathrooms. Yeah. And do you know what corporations like Walmart and Target and all of these, like, support transgender bathrooms, right? Why? Purely because they don't want to absorb the capital expenditure of building a third bathroom.

Right. Or change. Yeah, that's why we're stuff- That's the reason. Because big box stories don't want to spend money. 10,000-pissed poor dollars. Making whatever you want, bathroom. Right.

It was just a question mark with a shitter under it. You could have made- Make eight bathrooms. Like eight separate rooms. Wow! Unbelievable. Just like your made eight bathrooms like separate rooms. Wow. Unbelievable. Just like your fucking house. So, but anyway, you put one inside the clothing rack or give a shit. I told you, some people go in there anyway. So it's already kind of a de facto. I go in the tires at Walmart. The tires actually. You're masked by the rubber

smell. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, watch, go down. Like I said, well, I don't really feel like, you know, I can say just for women, well, you just have to be uncomfortable. Or put yourself in danger, whatever.

Agreed. And he goes, well, he's think they should go in the men's room then. And I'm like, I mean, I guess he goes, well, then they're gonna be attacked. Well, wait a minute, hold up. So your problem is not, you know somebody's getting attacked. And you're like, your problem is who's getting attacked.

So this conversation is over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, by the way, if we're being real, now you're more concerned about. Don't be real. Yeah. Yeah.

You're more concerned about the six foot three, sixty five pound man who thinks he's a woman Getting attacked versus the woman five foot ninety six pound actual woman. Yeah, who will get punched into oblivion and killed and dead. I don't think All right, where was I yet? What so what should I do? What should I do? Where should I go from here? Yeah, date women? Yeah, so he I got an intracted women, but he thinks that because he's a woman You go like hey, you go to the bathroom. You go to the party. You guys pair tampon and bus down you like a true question Use some comedy openers. I got the kind that I can pull out for you. No tag needed

Advice about comedy and family. I have been getting the worst your family as the funnier you are. Hey, Degin, John, I've been getting some traction in my comedy community. Ooh, in the area I live in. Stop immediately. Stop. Don't call it a comedy community.

And also had at least some listenership on my podcast. My question is, my live-in girlfriend, and my question about my live-in girlfriend and my question about my live-in girlfriend. My content can be considered offensive to some, even though it's obviously satirical. How do you balance doing what you do as a comedian without affecting her? She's asked me not to say certain things on my show. Oh boy. So here we go, buddy. I got the solution for you. How much money is your show making? That's a factor. No, relevant. If this matters to you at all, it's important

you need to kill her. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Yeah, oh, this is, I know everything I do only affects you negatively. Yeah, yeah. As a best I could do. Yeah, you have to do what I did and find one that, as we need the house. Yeah, you have to do what I did or lucked out in and find one whose sense of humor is as fucked up or worse than yours.

That's the only solution. Well, what about, like jobs and stuff, I think he's saying. So she's worried about the real life consequence. Then you ain't about that life, baby. That's what it is. Yeah. It's simple. It's back to her that I do stand up among other things.

What kind of balance is there? I do, man. Well, he was saying that she asked him to not say certain things. So she's offended by what he says. Listen, that we only because she's offended her because it could affect her negatively. Like that's the, it's the second thing. Yeah, I'm in no care about anything unless it actually

has consequences. I agree with that. Yeah, they have no morals. Women have no morals. What's different? No, spectrum of good and evil. Yeah, it's all to the evil side. Yeah, it's just a car. The diagonal. have an evil. Incredible. Women are good and evil. Incredibly self-serving. Like, my girlfriend and I got into this huge debate about the Joe Rogan thing and I was like, I, when she classified as a debate, huh? No, she classified as something she doesn't think about at all. Okay.

We get into this huge thing and I go, listen, if I were Joe Rogan and I would make a 52 million before a year, before my Spotify deal and I'm just making a hundred I give their hundred million back Tell them to go fuck themselves. Yeah, and I go what about you and she goes I get where you come from But I take the other 48 million. I don't give a shit. Yeah, and I go what about your principles and she goes my Principles more money more money and more things for me. Yeah, and I go well What about what do you believe in comfort stability? Mm-hmm. Those are my those are my tenants Being able to do what you want whenever you want. Yeah, I mean there's a reason why I'm gonna make money with your comedy Even comfort, stability. Those are my tenants. That's the only cost. That's the only cost whenever you want.

Yeah, I mean, there's a reason why I wanna make money with your comedy, then she'll be fine. There's a reason why most women advice, just be successful. Yeah. And tell her to shut the fuck up. If you're aiming to not be successful, like if you just wanna be some stupid slap dick

on the internet with the podcast and fuck around with your friends, stop. You can't, there's no point. You can't, there's a huge waste of time. Because all you're gonna get are the consequences. Yeah. And you're not going to be successful then. Yeah. Get a hotter. Get a shrink of that. Be oh yeah, I'm doing this thing. Well, is it any good? No. Yeah, then don't do it. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. Or, you know, commit to it entirely until you make it good. Yeah. And understand that it's going to be,

it's going gonna take longer, it's gonna be harder. And use that as a metric. Is it making money? Yeah. No, then it's not a success. Sorry. I like the jessil neckline that my girlfriend makes me

want to be a better person, so I can get a better girlfriend. So true. And listen, they're all trying to do the exact same thing. All of them. I would love, you know what reality show I would love to pitch is just taking people that are in long loving relationships and just setting a woman up to be Dorian grade

and realizing that that man showing the world, that that man that she said she's loved for 10 years means fucking nothing to her if you could make her life that much better. Is that as I show called the devil? No, that's what it's called. It's called the reality reality show. Okay, Josh Denny. Thank you. Let's do voicemails. I'm going to play a sound of listening to voice mail. Hey, thanks for having me, man. That was a good time. Go to patreon.com slash the dick show. That was a good time. Go to patreon.com slash the dick show, dick.show, and you are at jinkum, and what's the URL?

Just Josh Denny comedy.com. Josh Denny comedy.com. That's old school, comedian. No kinds of linked trees or anything. You see that online horse with like linked tree and they got about 10,000 ways. Yeah, that's just the way to hide their only fans from the immediate purview of the public internet space.

I'll see you next Tuesday. Oh fuck, I forgot about the wolf god, the cum guy. Why are you talking to him? Pizza cum guy, we're supposed to call in, but I totally fucked up. He's doing new com shenanigans. I don't think he's here though, because I screwed that up. Maybe he'll come in next. Maybe he'll call in next week. Are they the com related shenanigans?

Yeah, more com related shenanigans. This guy just got a furry convention, got it like 20 guys to come on a pizza. Ah, no, it was fucking vile. Boy, that, that'll really test how fat and hungry you are, huh? That, that would be the ultimate test for fat and hungry you are, huh? That would be the ultimate test for me. But like, you know, what though there is still pizza under there. Yeah. Yeah. You could maybe eat around it. That's probably the only way I could do it. I mean, it's

probably the only way I could. How much crust is left? Yeah. Um, okay. Let's see here. Hi, Dick. I've got a small rage for you, and that's being on a group chat with people in a specific or specialized field. Oh, because you're excited. And I've got a group chat going with a bunch of guys. All they're talking about are EMTs. And that's all they ever look at.

And all they ever talk about is EMT shit, which I have no clue about at all. Just get to know the group chat has been removed from being a useful source of information. Oh, I see. They're always talking about work. You can be interested in going on around. And it's just EMT shit.

Then you got to sort sore throat all day. For the interesting stuff. They can't talk to any of their friends about it in real life, because none of them are EMTs. Okay. I got out of the group chat spot. And I just have to mute it. It's poison.

It was becoming a small rage for me. Anyway, go fuck yourself. There you go. Tell me seven more ways, the same thing. Maybe this is why I did it. Did you go to you, sorry, I don't know if you understand this, but the problem is that it's become all EMT talk, you see? And it's a hand. So nothing else can really get through because they're why is that they all are EMTs as a matter of fact. And they can't consequence it on them. Talk about it.

My favorite part was they can't talk about it anywhere in the real world because you know how EMTs are shunned and frowned upon in general society. No one understands what they're talking about. Consequently, the concept of being an EMT, let's explain all these terms like ambulance. Let's you yourself identify as an EMT. You couldn't possibly understand. I always like the public misconception that we identify as an EMT. You couldn't possibly understand. I always like the public misconception that people have about about EMTs, like the doctors. Well, people think they're paramedics. Oh, yeah. Like they're, they're kind of grunts.

They're methodics. Well, they're, they're not, they're the lowest medical people on our motorbikes. Yeah, like they take in some classes. What's with the convoys?, man. I'm talking about you, man. Yeah, like they taken some classes. What are the convoying? I know a group chat that shone about to pop up in there. Yeah, that's a top-back conversation. It was teachers sued to keep the pandemic going and doctors and nurses spent all their time just dancing and talking about how their faces were bruised, truckers shut down the government. That's what I learned. So now forever, we can just keep that.

Well, okay, if it comes from the top three people, I'm ignoring it, anything truckers want. Let's hear it. Okay, based on that metric, homeless guys should be our politicians and presidents, right? Yeah. So if we're just gonna go with that scale. Yes. Yeah.

Callie, say, what's going on? Yeah. Uh, okay. Okay, just run it, go to a 7-Eleven out front. There's a black guy with no teeth. You're like, just so you know, I'm voting for you. Sir. Yeah. I had to for you, sir. Yeah. I had to do anything.

I should have said homeless don't you should have made sure I said home was not just any black guy with no T. It's like. Uh, yeah, just so you know, I'm voting. Here's what makes me fucking rage. Oh, shitty variety packs. Oh, you know, all these great flavors of chips available, but hot chips And the Frito late pack comes with two cool ranch. So we're not show cheese hot chips and lie Yeah, along the other things she's right very cool. I bet hell or they're more Not your cheese to read those and cool rich

Hmm, they make other flavors too salsa Verde. There's lots of things also, you know, mics Where you got all these good flavors, except the black cherry. There's always one flavor you just don't like that much. You just eat it. Yeah, it's the pink starburst. And just like, you know, like pink starbursts. The better flavors. Listen, I'm all explaining to her. And it sucks. It's got more. Smoochishan. Mootish on. That's for you. Let's check.

I'll accept the smooches. So here, listen, broad, who's probably never read a business book or even talked to an assistant manager at a fucking hall noise in these toys. The reason that they make variety packs in the first place is to run through the inventory that doesn't fucking sell. So they use your love of your stupid fucking cool ranch Doritos to make you eat regular plain, free-to-lay corn chips. Make your own pack.

Yeah. You can buy all of you. I know you're going to eat them all. Okay, don't pretend like you're getting too many chips. Listen, I don't want to brag about the kind of a fortune I have amassed, but I will tell you that I do have enough money to buy all my own individual bags of chips. Okay, last one. Talk to the man who buys your groceries and file a formal complaint. Hey, Jack, it's a con punchman.

All right, con punchman. Punchman alright punchman. Oh, you've been news Currently to am I'm driving home very tired, but I figured I'd give you a call until you go my rage is today Today's rage You can start here is lingerie. Okay, to be quite frank with you you. I quite a big fan of linger a really honest I was like they're masturbating at the moment of the call

we used to have a game that was are you masturbating or just walking people would say at the end actually I was jacking off that they would you know they would try to trick and I Actually, I was walking to work. Actually, I have a fat guy who just walked up a hill so I'm breathing kind of hard. You know what, I've been jacking off the whole thing, and we would try to guess. We should play that again.

We should. And it doesn't shoot me as it were. So this morning, I showed up to my girlfriend. I like to picture them as they're leaving it. We were going to Disneyland and yeah, I wanted to get laid first. Okay. So I show up to her house. Do you sexualize yourself before you're out on those kids? Yeah, I don't know if you're doing any ass grabbing or grinding in line.

I can't risk it. I'm prone to boner around, you know, the sqab grinding in line and pram to bona around you know bona knocks on

a cat knocked the line back back back back back back

back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land.

He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land.

He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney land. He's got a Disney soft. Hold up almost to my knees. I'm short. I'm 5 foot 7. They're almost to my knees and they're white with red roses on my god. And I'm ordered to match that. I decided to black and gray. haze, monster breeze. What is he?

Where are we going? You're going? You're going to trick me in doing this, a gay phone set. It really just, I really just kind of, he's talking about lingerie, but he's wearing denim socks. I don't like that I felt insecure about it,

but I felt like I wasn't, I felt underdressed for the occasion. Uh-huh. And uh, it's actually just the latest women do that on purpose. Just to have another thing to hold against you. What do you think? Sean? I mean, so lost. I think I fell asleep an hour ago. My God. I don't know if you fucking tired to explain this well. That's the only way. Oh shit.

That's true. The words have ever been spoken. When you leave the message, you can press a button to delete it. Yeah. And no one ever takes advantage of that feature. Yeah. I don't know why.

Okay. Anyway, I'm too tired to explain this well. Oh, I'm too tired to explain this well. Oh, I suspected that one. Cut off right before the three minute mark. Usually they get cut off. Right. You haven't had time that right? You got this little flash of, you know, insight. Yeah. Maybe this isn't going that well. I just had that just gave me PTSD from watching women and open mics. Oh God. Oh God. It's like, all right, you have three minutes. They go up. So, where do I begin?

First of all, I can't believe this. I can't believe this. Listen. Okay. So I'm doing a thing right now. So, at my job, right? Ah. Ah. It's just like, you can do the whole three minutes of intro.

Do they get one joke out? Together. What did we use to do? You know, it's just blues endings for like, keep a song going and then go, down, down, down, bow, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, like you can keep it going forever just by keep ending the song And you know what that's reflection of is the fact that There's no accountability for how good they are

Because I'm gonna come back and bore you tomorrow and then I'm gonna be opening for this comic on the road Yeah, by next Friday. Yeah, because I have my tits are okay. Mm-hmm pretty okay. I know that works. Yeah Meanwhile go up. They're like you need to tighten up you do what did you dad say? my tits are okay. Mm-hmm. Pretty okay. I know that works. Yeah. Meanwhile, I go up and they're like, you need to tighten up. What did you dad say? Yeah. Why is the fuck going to? You need to wise the fuck up.

Yeah. Do they know they're bad? They're lost on some look. No, they really don't. They don't. They have no contact. They probably get a lot of positive feedback from dudes. Yeah.

Of course. And it's also just like this, you know, this, um, yeah, what show I'm trying to bring you down so much at the end of the show. Yeah. It's just, it's a whole, like they just have an in, it's, it's, it's, it's all sort of groups to feel afflicted upon. Like this is what I love straight to the top. They put straight to the top and then guys will freak out that, like, women are shitting on them, like that frost chick is like, oh yeah. Like, yes, but you guys always promote women.

Like, you get so excited when women do anything and you stoop a little community, and then you freak out when shit like this happens. Why do you think that is? How do you think they got up there? Yeah. My friend, Chrissy Mayer, is going hard in the pain on frost, just with impression videos, and all kinds of shit, but, friend, Chrissy Mayer is going hard in the pain on Frost, just with impression videos and all kinds of shit.

But no, what I'm saying is like, what I hate about groups that aren't straight white dudes, which is pretty much all the other ones, right? Is that criticism is never just criticism. You're either racist or sexist or homophobic when you go like, hey, your act could be better. They go, is it because I'm a woman? It's like,

no, it's because you suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, suck. I mean, I don't have me. I don't have a chemistry lab at home to prove to you that yes, it is because you're a woman. But let's just say it's because on the merit of what you just did, it's not because then you can't fix it. Yeah, exactly.

Same thing you can say to black people. So because I'm black, well, it's hope not, so you can fix it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, same thing you can say to black people. So because I'm black, well, it's hope not, so you can fix it. Well, I don't know. Which is like, and everyone, it's just like, you cannot write off all criticism as, it's just because you hate to hate by an affiliated person. I thought, you knew that going into it.

Yeah, that might be true. You hate women. Yeah, but you do that. But what accountant, and this is what I do with my girlfriend. I go, okay, what is your level of responsibility for the problem we're discussing? Oh my God, they melt down. It sounds like a horrible conversation. It's like hacking. I felt like I hacked a Gibson.

You know, they just, they just go with that numerically or just what parts of this problem are you responsible for? If any, you don't really know what you did, Ron. Yeah, and they just go, hmm, let me think about that. Yeah, I really don't think it's anything. I just really don't see how any of it's my fault. You know, I feel like I did my best. And that should not only be recognized,

but applauded and elevated because it's me. And here's what you're not doing. Yeah. Well, you know, you don't do it either. That's every fucking bar. You know what you don't do though? What your accountability is in the problem. Just total literally all women doing arguments is, yeah, I'm Robert Yariglip, bands off

May 6th to yeah. It's a good advice for girlfriend, man. He's banging horrors. This is what the future is like for you. Listen, if I podcast isn't turning you gay, then I'm not being passionate about this. It can't be done. It cannot be done.

It cannot be done. It cannot be done. So enough. There are so many logical man would go, Jesus Christ, it's like vegetables. I better start eating it if I don't want it. Yeah, if I don't like it. It's just good for me. We have not turned you gay, it's like vegetables. I better start eating it if I don't want it. Yeah, if I don't like it.

It's just good for me. We have not turned you gay, it cannot be done. It can't be done. Love the cartoons up with as much gay shit as possible. Okay, goodbye everyone. See ya, thank you.