The Dick Show - Episode 298 - Dick on Three Nukes

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

What you're fighting for, the Pretend Avengers, the Nuclear Luigi Board of America's death cult, the fat ghost of Kyiv, Lizzo's Big Grrrl's, a lady with a 600-pound butt lift, getting over a salacious sexual past, hitting on imprisoned women, and the countdown to 299; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Why, why was that funny? Tim Allen. It's a different time. Was it like, was it like I'm a caveman, like I'm such a dude? Yeah. Is that what it was? Hellarious. Elbunny was way more of a dude.

People would just die. Yeah. Elbunny was way more of a dude than Tim Allen. Although I don't know, Tim Allen. It's too much of a dude. Tim Allen did prison time. Does that make you more of a dude? I mean, I don't know Tim Allen too much of a dude. Tim Allen did prison time. Does that make you more of a dude? I mean, I don't know, you know.

Big butt raped. I don't know if he got butt raped, but. You know, like Edo Neal. Edo Neal was, I think he's from Youngstown. Oh hi. Youngstown, oh hi. We're like, boom, boom man, scene is from like real working class, like fighters came out of there and stuff.

Okay. Little mob presence. Oh, so he's a like real working class, like fighters came out of there and stuff. And okay, little mob presence. Um, oh, so he's a tough guy you're saying. Ed O'Neill apparently was and is like a, like legit martial artist too. What? Yeah. Al Bundy can throw down. Dude, apparently, Al Bundy can shock you. Apparently Al Bundy can use his hands.

Oh, let me see if this is working. Is that working? Yeah, I guess. I mean, he's in his 70s now, but... It's good to know. Yeah. I hope you like him even more, huh? Yeah.

I love that, O'Neal. Me too. He's great. He's got to think most of the stuff that he says is Albundi. I mean, you always wonder, you know, like good casting is like they don't sometimes they don't really have to act. What's that? Yeah, I don't wonder. I'm just believing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loved it. He loved every minute of it. Probably. Okay. Everything sorted, good, great, grand. Wonderful, we're on the bus.

Short bus. So glad to, no nukes yet. Disappointed. Glad to be doing the show. Okay, but otherwise outside of the show, I'm disappointed. You were hoping. I was hoping for some nukes.

I mean, if anything was gonna cause us to miss a week. I would, yeah, another week. So we'd be celebrating episode 297 in the nuclear holocaust. Yeah, this weekend. As it is, it's what are we celebrating? 299. Road rage 299. Let the 299 hardline.

Right. Uh, phenomenal. We got all them nukes. Nukes, excuse me. We got all them nukes. Nukes, excuse me. We got all them nukes. Nukes. Come on. Just a couple.

We could take a cause. See, I'm, now I'm Mr. Science. I'm Bill Dude, the science dude. What was my guy? Oh shit. Bill Guy, the science dude. That's me. I remember that.

Oh no, I think. I think with Bill Guy, the science dude. I do. I think was that it? Look, I'm sorry, I just, look, if you're at a bar, I probably have heard of more science than anybody else there. So people are gonna ask me about science, you shit. Yeah, sure. What can I say?

I'm the science dude, Bill Guy. Right, they say, Bill Guy, the science dude in this. They say, did how many nukes could we take? What would happen? I say, we could take a couple. Yeah. Just drag off a couple. Sure.

You know, you start getting into the, it's like the shields on the enterprise or something. You know, they go, They take a couple. Sure. You know, on the bus before a car starts getting freaked out. Yeah. Okay, we got to listen.

Yeah. Why do they always do that? Every interaction they have, they're like, let's shoot a bunch of lasers at each other for a little bit. Yeah. And then we'll shoot them out. Isn't it kind of like, well, let's see if we can kill them right away.

It's not really very federation as to you, is it? It's so funny how idealistic and just fake the whole Star Trek world is about like how they, there's no more, they've gotten over like racism in the future and then, but no, and then how do you, I'm not going to race it, no, I know, there's no more, they've gotten over like racism in the future. But no, and then how do races, no, I know, but that's like as far as the, those greedy fucking forengies. Yeah, but as far as like, and nobody like, there's no like, everybody's going to go in

the front. Everybody should be talking about frangies like that. That's a little bit close to, you know, it is just so funny to me. There's no money. Like there's no reason, they have no reason for like the current state of like greed and hatred and stuff like that. But they have extreme greed and hatred. Like those dilithium shits, they're like, let's go.

We got a fucking go. Everybody on deck. Yeah, I don't know. It's, they always tried diplomacy first. It's like hold, hold, hold, hold, she's 10 to 30%. Yeah. They always tried diplomacy first. It's like hold hold. She's done to 30% chapter. They always tried to kill the other guy immediately first. Wait, these guys have a problem. Let's shoot at each other and see if we just one of us just explodes. Well, something that'll be who that'll be who wins, right? So that's just it though. Yeah. Yeah, the boy like, blah, blah, blah. Oh shit, okay. Uh, yeah.

Don't you think? What, what am I thinking? Shouldn't, don't you kind of disappoint that there's no nukes yet? Just one or, I'm saying Bill Guy, the science, we could take a, you start getting up into the teens of nukes, kicking all that soot, kick all the soot up in the air, have to plan it.

There goes have to plan it's food. Right. Right, that's the right. That's when you have a so bad, you have a pole covering the earth, you know, a shroud. A dish shroud. I mean, that's not Amazon fresh, probably still works.

Price might get expensive. Yeah, slightly. Toilet paper was a bit of an issue, but we got through that. I must admit, you're up a very good plan. Yeah. That should be, we should be watching that in schools. Based on the reaction that I'm seeing from people, 77% of people think we should get involved militarily in the Ukraine.

I'd like to introduce you guys to something called Dr. Strangelove. Yeah. And to the fucking world. That is such a fucking good movie. You know, if you guys haven't seen Dr. Strangelove? Yeah. Yeah, into the fucking world. That is such a fucking good movie. You know, if you guys haven't seen Dr. Strangelove, seriously go see it. This is, I mean, it's so entertaining and it's so good. I'm at that point too.

I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute. You're telling me that the bare minimum of knowledge will cure a lot of this nonsense? The bare minimum of an explanation of what's been, I'm like, well, well, wait a minute, wait a minute. The US and Russia have been involved in proxy wars in the Middle East area for 50 years. Nobody invaded anybody.

Like there's a series of progressive series of steps of escalating with one side dickwagon, one side going like, oh, I'm swinging in the air. And if you just happen to get your borders near where I'm punching, then that's your fault. Well, the other side going, well, I'm pushing my borders out. I'm not looking where I'm pushing them. And if my borders can hit, I'm going to look and assume that you hit them on purpose. Well, there is Well, that's what's been happening. Well, since the 1920s between Russia and Ukraine. Yeah, sure. Yeah, no, it's not the case if then I go online

and what do I see? Pictures of a little fuzzy man with some dumb broad saying, look, there's a fucking iron man flying around the sky shooting down Russian jets and it's got 10 million likes I think what the fuck is wrong with these people we need some nukes we need a couple just one to take the star chat of everybody just one keep us honest just just two right you're like a long party time three three perfect. Three is the perfect amount just like beer. Three nougues.

It's only one side, one side, and then a random guy. Maybe you think this is a warning to you. This is just a show where wild card. What if we book Moscow and the Maldives? I don't know that that is gonna say. Just use a third party just to show your military might. You know, so we're crazy. You know, I mean, I'm still in charge. Really? Forget. Do you know anyone for Micronesia? You know, just Micronesia is looking a little too big actually. Maybe so. We've got to make it Microwagin. Make Micronesia Microwagin.

Yep. That you know what it's going to be? It's going to? I haven't even started this show yet. It's gonna be a boomer, grinning from here to here, in a pair of blue boxer shorts, and a wife beater, and a guy Fieri hat, dumping out bottles of stolishnaivodka, which is not made in Russia, is it not? No, really? Where's it made? Fuck, I forget, it's made in Latvia. Oh, really, yeah. But it's so popular.

Sure. And it's right in it's, cause it was Russia and well, it was part of the, all part of the USSR, right? Well, people forget that too. Yeah. What do you mean invading?

They all used to be the same fucking country. Oh, yeah. It's not remember that. Well, but not anymore. No, no, no, no, no, anymore, explain that to the people who live there. That means no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be in their country anymore. They want to be back in Russia. Like, I hate this country. I want to be back in Russia. You shouldn't. It was over a 90% independence vote. What?

When, right after the, well, right before the follow-comianism, it's like, do we want to be our own country? Do we want to be then? No, it's like 90%. People change their minds. And like, I'm, I'm tired of the U.S. sending neo-nazis here. I want to be back in Russia. neo-nazis? Yeah, there's a, we're being great as a literal nazi party

the only place that has a nazi party recognize that the u the u.s. that the u.s. funded just like they did al-Qaeda do they really have a nazi party as the u.s. fucking paid for just like they did al-Qaeda we've been doing this franchise shit well i know far as long as we've had money to spend yeah well wow things are looking a little bit We've been doing this franchise shit. Well, I know. For as long as we've had money to spend. Yeah. Wow, things are looking a little bit, not things are looking a little too peaceful out there.

We fund a military's game board here. Let's bring a ship. You guys are all white. So we're gonna send you some neo Nazis. You guys in the Afghanistan, I were gonna send you some freedom fighters. There's an official official Nazi party. Like they're like the elections.

Those are the places that the official Nazi party. That's how I mean, people could correct me on this, but I mean, there's people who remember his things. I saw in the news like, oh, wow, that's interesting that they have that. Yeah. Anyway, what was my point? Stolich Naya, a boomer, jumping out bottles of stollies.

Oh, and fuck you you fuck you, Russia pouring my own vodka all over my pants while nuclear bombs go off behind them That's my chefs. That's what I want to see on the way out and you're pouring out another country's vodka You're pouring out enough that you own. Well, it's your vodka sure. It's not you're not like pouring out Well, that's it. Yeah, everybody other people's money. That's your stuff. Sure. It's not, you're not like pouring out, well, that's it. Yeah, everybody, other people's money, that's your stuff. I know. Take, take fucking this.

But if you are fucking vodka, who cares? People around the world have a tendency to do stupid shit like that. I mean, like in this country, when you and I are in the hands flying around shooting down megas and burn your chats, people have burned like records and shit like that and then you remember freedom fries? You know that people weighing in on this and then don't remember freedom fries that happened

20 years ago. And then Belgium pipes up. It's like actually the French fry wasn't good to hear. I think it was at your house when that happened. Yeah. And Belgium, if we could just by the way, just to say the record straight historically, it's historically accurate to say that, but no, right potatoes were kind of in, you know, it's with a fuck road.

Yeah, that's all I want. Three to keep everybody on as we got a really New Yorker, the Maldives, the Maldives. Maldives, I don't know. I don't know. I've always said that. So it's, we're saying it K.Y.F now. What? What? Huh?

Keeve? The capital of Ukraine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keeve now? Oh. Which is what you remember, like ISIL, when that changed. Yes. ISIS, oh, ISIL now.

Yeah. No. Right. Because they said, yeah, I'm not doing that. It's a Syria, they said Levant, right? What? Levant is the L. Syria was the yes yes. Yeah Levant. It's like a storm John Levant sells cartoon. It's the name of that region. It makes a lot they say the Levant

Like the one with really an article to Caprio The Rev Levant Relevant. I'm gonna at taking down by a bear. That comment is irrelevant. I'm ready to push the button, see? Are you keeping doing it? Yeah. Putin's doing right now.

Teasing it, massaging it. Ooh, look at this big button. Look at this, maybe he's got three buttons. Pop, pop, pop, right? Well, instead of like dealing. Ideally, having the, you know, two people have to do it or like whatever, he just has to split his fingers. Like it's like, oh yeah, I really mean it this time.

Presses it with his cock. They're like four inches apart. Bop, like a fleshlight. Boop, boop, boop. Okay, I'm gonna start the show. For real, I got a story about a kid's wiener that ought to keep you very entertained. Oh, I'm riveted.

He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, But oughta keep you very... Interesting. Oh, I'm riveted. Hahaha. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

How? Welcome to Dickey. You need to do Dickey. You got it. It's the show, Rebs. It's a guy that's coming to you live from Mount Brook. Deep and the heart is a failure. I'm your host. Take my ass today, K.

The $20 million man. Trying to be his always world touring, L.A. based comedian, Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dickey. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourself. Yet. Take my ass today, K, the $20 million man. Trying me as always is world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourself.

Yet, we're all pushing for it. It's like check off's gun. For me to kill myself. No, for all of us to kill ourselves all. Oh, okay. No, that's why people get jealous. I didn't find either way. As long as we all go out at the same time

in a big nuclear, nuclear annihilation, everyone's good with it. Sure. Check off's gun. You see the gun, you got to, I got to see it shoot. Check off's gun. You know how that rule? You put a gun and touch the playwright and you put a gun on the first act of the play,

you got to see it shoot eventually. Gotcha. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Or else it's bad playwright and kiss. Yeah. It's unresolved. And the audience is mind if they don't like it. Yeah. Or else it's bad. Like, I'm to check off. Yeah. Yeah. It's unresolved. Mm-hmm. And the audience is mind. They don't like it. Yeah.

Out. Nukes. The big nose. Well, I got to see. I mean, I got to see someone get nuked. Well, it like violates a love kind of something akin to foreshadowing, right? It's like you can't just have it there and then set it on the table and then ignore it the rest of the time. Yeah. People are going to be like, what all I see is the gun.

I got to see, you know, like, I'll go, we just get to the nukes. Yeah. I don't care of the time. Yeah. People are going to be like, all I see is the gun. I got to see, you know, like, which is getting to the news. Yeah. I don't care about these sanctions. Yeah. I don't care about, I'm still using oil. I'm still buying two billion dollars

of Russian oil every month, right? Well, which is a, we import a tiny percentage of our oil from Russia, but it's 7%. That's a lot. Is it 7%? Yeah.

I thought it was lower than that. But net, but all those different types of oils got to be shipped around. No, they do. They do, so it's seven percent of ours, I think. It can definitely, it can definitely impact prices. Like it's not like, I can't wait for that. I cannot fucking wait for that.

What happened? This thing's unplugged. Let me see if I did suck it in. Last minute. Catastrophe. All right. Are you going again? We're going again.

We're going again. Here it is, Sean. Here at the end of the war, there we go. Look at the, they have the saviors have arrived. What the hell is this? You know that your protests has reached critical masks when the fat women, when the whales have bared their fat tits

and painted them and written some. That looks, that's a dude, right? I mean, look at those tits. Does that look like a dude's tits to you? It looks like someone who used to be a dude's tits. I don't think you can set no way. They can't grow tits like that in a man. I'm just gonna have them.

I'm looking at the face and the jaw line and the, I mean, that's, yeah, are you? This is how I'm fat new. Does this look like a country you wanna take over, Sean? Looks like stubble. With this grimace that she's got here, grimace is shaped's got here. Grimace's shaped like grimace and grimace is evil ant from Belarus. The Belarusian brood, the,

well, she's from the UK, Ukraine, obviously. You create a heavy weight. Well, that's the, that's the flag colors, right? One tit for blue, one tit for yellow. you ran out of paint on this one. They were going to be, you know, it was going to look like the flag and be one on the top, one on the bottom. But you ran out of blue paint going halfway across her body on this one. Got it. What is it? What do you think this says?

She couldn't even be asked to lift up the boob and paint under the boob. Do you see that? Yeah, yeah, it does kind of stop right there. Nobody none of her none of her other fat lady protest. What I'm saying is the it's over when the fat ladies start protesting. That's when it's over. Should they sing before or after this is it? This is how they sing online. Gotcha.

Taking their tops off. Right. Bottoms didn't get taken off because that would be disgusting. If she had, I see. They're gonna protest nude, but then they're like, oh no, we should, we should leave half of our disgusting bodies closed.

We don't want to gross anyone out. We don't want to do anything inappropriate, right? Right. If you imagine you were fighting for this side, I can't look away. I would shoot myself in the head. I would shoot everyone in my platoon. You guys see this?

Oh shit, we're done. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b Is this what democracy and Ukraine means? This? Is that what this says? Get out of here, honey. Don't message received, you didn't need to write it out. I'm not going anywhere near there. Yeah, I had no one, I would never. Put that in any language. You could, I could drink all the stolech, Naya and Russia.

And I wouldn't get anywhere near what you're, what's the wreath for? Probably cause you just stop drinking. Yeah. Oh, oh my God. Oh my God. I'm in this area. I've made some poor life choices.

There's a weapon of ass destruction that I'm looking at over here. Are you ready to spend 20 years in the Ukraine? $4 trillion a ton. Oh no. $10 trillion or whatever, we're gonna dump into this. No, no, no, no, no, no. You ready for that?

No. No, no, no, no, nobody. Wow. Her and Jesus and Iron Man and the incredible Hulk teamed up and a bunch of beauty queens taking selfies with BB guns. She's an incredible bulk. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

selfies, the Instagram thoughts in araine are taking selfies with bb guns and guys are cheering this on beating off furiously well technically i think somebody took a bit i don't know if that's a selfie no no this is another one a woman miss ukraine or something fucking bb gun i'm supporting i'm supporting my boys but Bitch, you have a fucking BB gun. Is it a red rider? Not even a red rider.

How's you gonna keep black barred off without a red rider? Not very easily. And it's band-y and it's bandits. Yeah, is that what they were called? I think so, it was black part, wasn't it? Definitely black part. I don't think you can, I don't think you can call it black. I know, black part anymore.

What is he, yeah? Black part was a American barred it a character black bard anymore. Black bard was a American bard? It was a white guy. Black bard was a white guy, right? Mm-hmm. Still, could be misconstrued. This is how, this is how women fight the war. They just take their tops off, looking like total lard asses, wandering around.

Is this what? Why do they have to do this? Are we doing fat watch? We are doing it. It's a special fat watch right at the beginning of the show. That watch today and fat watch. It's the cute shit. It's the cute shit that drives me crazy about this.

You know, I don't like ghosts. The ghost of Kiev that was a video that turned out to be footage from a video game of like a red baron type pilot that was shooting, shooting down enemy fighters, shot down six planes today, I heard. Like you run it from the internet. You made it up on the internet and you're sitting there cheering it on a fake story that you know is fake.

That one people say that's from a fucking video game. They say, Hey, the story's bad ass. So why don't you guys just chill and let us support you, great. I don't think I'm supporting you, great. I don't think people know what's fake. I don't think they know the concept of fake anymore. Well, no, fake news is news that people don't like. Yeah, it's been that way for a long time.

Yeah, I don't like that. That's fake news, I don't like that. Yeah. It's from a fucking video game, though. That's a smudge that you're looking at. It's not Iron Man lying around you fucking duns. It's the rocket here. Everybody knows it's the rocket here.

The rocket here, this gigantic bruiser, the incredible bulk, Miss Ukraine with the BB gun teamed up to pull Putin's pants down on TV and slap his bare buttocks. Did you hear about that? Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, right. Fucking amazing. You don't like about that? Oh, it's amazing. Yeah. Fucking amazing. You don't like that story?

It's bad ass though, bro. I love it. Let's fucking. You're laughing. You're not going that's bad ass. I gotta, isn't the, go ahead. Isn't Ukraine's president Jewish? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What do you mean by that? What are you saying? I don't know. That's being blasted over our channel. His parents beverage with the holocaust. Now he's standing up to boot and like, boom, free, Russia free to fucking holocaust. You idiot. I'm just saying. Well, they have Russia did more against the holocaust than we ever did. Well, they, they were first to come on the camps and nobody. Nobody. This is fucked. People didn't believe what their reports, like what they were, you know,

once again, the GIs got there and it was like, woo. What do you mean he's Jewish? Why'd you bring that up? Because how crazy, I know there's like, there's far right shit over there, but like how crazy could it be with a Jewish president? Oh, like the anti-Semitism. like how crazy could it be with a Jewish president?

Oh, like the anti-Semitism? Yeah, I'm not just going to act there. You know, like a Nazi. Like what do you mean? No, he's a comedian. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah. You can't try to get Russian kicked off of Twitter and YouTube.

This is cute shit. That's pretty. Well, that's endless cute shit. That's what people would do. That's what everybody does. I'm gonna ruin your life online. They wanna ruin all this sanction shit. It's like, well, wait a minute.

You guys know that just hurts the regular people, right? What do they do? Yeah, well, we're gonna fuck them over. Like, we're getting fucked over. What do you mean you're gonna fuck them over? Well, sometimes sanctions are, well, no, other people always bear the brunt of everything.

Sensions that don't sanction oil, of course. Yeah, I read that. Or sanctioning every, no, they're everything else. Yeah, food. Well, there's kids, they're stopping, they're stopping short of the big shit. It seems like this fucking retarded.

It's all freedom prize. All the way down. Yeah. It's all freedom prize all the way down. Yeah. It's all freedom prize all the way down. It's very important to be diligent and to reject any conditioning that's coming your way after COVID. I hope we've we've all know it's very important to reject large women with painted breasts looking at you with attitude. Hmm. Looking at someone with that attitude. Not getting involved. We have a tradition in my house where to kick off springtime or March, we come home and one of us is a fun tradition and one of us will throw a full, full large

Shamrock shake into the house for fun. Right. Do you have any traditions like that? No, last night it happened to be my girlfriend. I do see your tradition. Yeah, you saw that? I saw, yeah. So fun tradition.

You come in the house late at night with some McDonald's, way too much McDonald's. 100 dollars of McDonald's, they've seemed funny at the time, but it's not funny now. And you're probably gonna get drunk and eat it. How much food is 100 bucks at McDonald's, 100 dollars of McDonald's. They've seemed funny at the time, but it's not funny now. And you're probably gonna get shrunk and eat it. How much food is 100 bucks at McDonald's? Not as much as you think. Really?

I was just ordering the hits for two-nic max for me. Okay. How many people for real? 15 nuggets. Me, literally. Well, and I got Anna Shamrock's shake for the lady. So you go, you walk in the house and you go, take a sip and you go, this tastes fucking terrible.

And then throw it on the ground as hard as you can. So it splatters everywhere, all over the dog. What's on the floor? You can lick it up and have shamrock shake all over her. I think she's your playing when you try to grab her because you've been out all night and running over flinging Shamrock Shake. You never had this tradition growing up, but you get a new like a like blood splatter pattern

on the walls. You get a new girlfriend when that killed a Vulcan or something. Tastes like shit. Talk about disappointment. Yeah, I've never had one. Tastes like chemicals. And I like myths. It's like an Andy, well, it tastes like an Andy's mint.

Tastes like a fake, it's not like peppermint. Like a peppermint candy. I like an Andy's mint. It tastes like a fake, it's not like peppermint, like a peppermint candy. I like the Andy's mint. I know, like, we'll have a chance with our real peppermint dishel or something. Like an altoid, you know there's actually something from the plant and this refreshing. This is just like sucking down a goo.

This is like what I imagine it's like to kiss this lady after she brushes her teeth. Big berth over here. How do you say big birth in Ukrainian? That. Look at this. Boys, just wanna let you know what you're fighting for. It's just, you know.

It's not a good. With the gloves here? Not a good picture. She just came from the gym. What does gym state mean in the Ukraine? Buffet. What does Jim state mean in the Ukraine buffet? Hahaha. It's the distribution world for

proof by doing this by making fun of this freedom fighter. I don't know. I hope not. Jesus. I don't want to get I wouldn't want to get my bank accounts turned off again again. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be something with you.

I wouldn't want that. Yeah. I wouldn't want that. Yeah. I wouldn't want someone calling me a Nazi. A mine. Oh God. It never happened. That's never happened before.

Yeah. Wouldn't want someone threatening my job. Oh. Never happened. Fuck you guys. It's like a big Ouija game. You know the Ouija game? Yeah.

Ouija board. Ouija board where everybody's got their fingers on. And they're all secretly pushing it to where they wanted to go. What an acting surprise. What do my niece has said, one of her friends, had one of that and she was calling it a Luigi board. My brother's like, no, it's a Ouija board and she's like, I like Luigi board better.

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, sure. Makes more sense. So you know Luigi boards? Yeah. You both put your hands on and everybody, you ask questions like who's, who's fat? And then you all secretly try to push it to like who's gay? And you all secretly try to push it to where you want it to go. Mm-hmm. And then act like you had no idea.

I can't believe that. Up in. Yeah. That's what the nuclear Armageddon is. Everybody on earth really slowly moving the way, oh man, I really, really subconsciously that this nooks are getting on the field now. Wow. Why do you say, no, who's that? Oh my God, do you see where it's going? I can't believe this.

Are you pushing it? I'm not, you're not pushing it, you're not pushing it, right? No, right. Either of us are pushing it, just nuclear bombs are just shooting off. Everybody pretends to be the lazy ass Paul bearer. Yeah.

You ever carry a casket? We're going to have a casket at Road Rage this weekend. I know there's some motherfucker behind me not pulling the weight. Yeah, because I know this fucker isn't that fat in there. You know what I do when I'm carrying a couch, I don't want to. Just like whatever. Hold my hands up. Yeah, right.

Fuck you. Yeah. I don't even try it. Like when they're trying to get couches upstairs or through doors, I don't want to just like whatever. Hold my hands up. Yeah. Right. Fuck you. Yeah. I don't even try it. Like when they're trying to get couches upstairs or through doors, I don't even try. Like whatever. That is just best of youth arguing about, no, this is the best way to do it. No. It's like whatever. I don't care.

Terrapid couch. Here you go. It pays somebody to move that shit. So this lady at the dog park, you should start the, you should start that tradition. So it's behemoth. See how this lady at the dog park, yeah. she wasn't fat. She had a no peg. She's just one of these always overeducated, always ready to teach class at any moment. Her and her lesbian friend wearing these these glasses, you know, giant overcoats. So people mistake them for poets, whatever feminists, obviously, like shaved the shaved side of the head with the hair thing

over. She's got this dog that she always lets run around with the leash on. It was just a fucking, it was just asking for it, right? She's always what? She's got this dog at the dog park that she always leaves the leash on as it runs around. Oh, that's constant legs. It's like a greyhound. For multiple reasons, why would you do that?

Number one, commonly reason. It can get caught on stuff and fuck the dog up. Number two, it's going to be full of piss and shit when you go to pick it up again. Okay, I got some details for you. Number one, it's going to look as three legs. So it's already on borrowed legs. Yeah.

Like you're fucking around, you're doing dangerous shit with a dog that doesn't have a leg. You get two legs, there's a very different. You're gonna have to have wheels on that fucker. What if it's two legs on the same side? That's hilarious. Yeah. You're gonna have to 3D print

in each other's legs. I need this fucking side car. Crutches moving around. Right. You're gonna have to work these two to make this one. Whatever, so it always pisses me off. It's like, this is fucking asking for it. You dumb bitch.

So this guy comes over and goes, Hey, which one of you's got the dog with the leash on it? She goes, oh me. She's writing poetry. So I'm her and her fucking lesbian friend who probably never make out. And I wouldn't want to see it anyway. Writing poetry on a bench.

She goes, oh, that's mean, he goes, oh, you dog just took a big shit over there and dragged the leash through it. Awesome. And I looked at, yeah, I wish I had a moment, I was like, nice. Awesome. I bet you saw it and didn't try to stop it at all

because it's dumb bitch. Hoping, hoping, if I saw that, I'm hoping it's like, oh, get it, get it. Yes! Let me just grab that thing for a second. Yes! Oh, wow, you're not gonna, got a bunch of shit all over their leash.

What do you think is happening? It's a fucking dog park. The, it is saturated with piss at least, and there's piles of shit that people don't pick up right away. Oh, yeah, and then this kid, then this kid, this little kid, who leads the fucking leash on when you let it?

How lazy do you have to fucking be? It's like click. Jesus. Put it on you. Put it on someone who got to put a leash on you. Drag you through your own shit. Drag you through shit. Send you to Ukraine, paint your tits.

You know, women at home are looking at this. Oh man, I wish that was me looking all big and fat and bad, looking like a big bad pig on the internet. Everyone, look at how bad she looks with her boobies all painted, not even painted very well. So you can still see the nipples. Somehow that's legal. So the lady's leaving didn't bother to check her leash to see that there was poop out of her not just grabbed.

Oh god, okay. Of course, you're just going gonna put that in your car. And this little kid in the kid park next door comes over, he pulls his pants all the way down. What? He's legs, pulls his shirt up and goes, hey lady. No. Yeah.

I'm busted out my camera. Let me get a look at that weiner. What the fuck? Don't even joke. Great, it was a great day. We love it. You joke too much. We're not gonna be celebrating Road Rage 299.

So if you're coming to Road Rage 299. Ha ha ha. Cause of COVID. Oh God. Nick will be there. He's coming in on Thursday. Who else? Josh Denny is gonna be there.

If he don't be there, if he does, Vita's gonna be there. I think Drexel is gonna be there too. Who's Drexel? Nick's, Nick's, MIGTOW host friend. Big Black guy. You've probably seen him. Drexel. Well, I know.

Disparage his women a lot. Pretty cool guy. I'll certainly recognize him. You'll recognize him. Oh yeah. I'll look for the big black guy. Yeah. Just make him big black guys.

Where's Dan Zell? He's been gone a long time. He's been gone a long time. He's been scruely Louise. He's been gone too. I know. We been gone a long time. He's been scrooing Louis, he's been gone too. I know. We're waiting on him to wrap up the Virgin contest. I wonder if it, what did we do?

Maybe I think that whole blow job thing really maybe fucked things up. Probably. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that a little much. I don't know if I would be like laughing at that the next day if it happens to me.

So if you're coming, make sure you have your vaccine, a picture of your fucking vaccine card or send it to your friends or something or whatever. So, you have it on your phone because that's how we do things in LA, which is a nightmare. Last night, last night Randy had a surprise party, birthday party.

Really? Yeah, and our friend Brian, who's been vaccinated since day one, so it's probably worthless now, right? Who just had COVID. Yeah, yeah, just had it. He works in an industry where you have to get tested all the time. Tested it for COVID.

Ace of the automatic. I don't know if he got the booster or not or anything, but I mean, no, people's not getting boosted forever. So just had it. That's all. All right. So we get to the bar. And it's like the surprise party, right?

Yeah. We're gonna get this girl friend scheduled it for five. They were gonna get there at 5.15, so we show up at 5.0. Going and he realizes doesn't have his phone, our friend Brian, which means he can't get in. Because you have to show them a picture to get in, right? Yeah. Well, do you have to put it, you have to,

well, nobody has their card anymore. Well, no, but I mean, I have the digital one or whatever a picture. Well, there's a digital one based on your physical one, right? Like, I mean, a lot of places aren't taking just like, oh, here's a picture of a vaccine card. No, I know, they are. Or are they doing it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Oh yeah, I don't think all places were doing this. There's just no way you have to go in the way everyone could have. But you had to go to the site like officially and have that thing like it turned out. No, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think all places we're doing there. There's just no way. I have to go away. Everyone could have. I said you had to go to the site like officially and have that thing like it's not everybody has that. That's true. So he doesn't say these like, no, you can't go in. So I'm like, oh, shit. So I get a picture of somebody else's. Yeah. Say here, use like, use show them this. My phone. Martha, blah. She fucking did. Show them this, my phone. Martha Blutton.

She fucking did. The chick working the door looks back and forth from his ID to his card, like a triple take. Yeah. And she goes, uh, hmm. Uh, I'm like, what happened to you in your life? Hot, hot girl. That she feels it necessary to, at this stage,

at this stage in her life, Narka stopped this guy, it's like, oh, it doesn't match. He's like, oh, yeah, I showed you the wrong one, okay. So I have to go into the artist's discord and get them to Photoshop and do a different one for a guy who's completely vaccinated and just hit Coleman. That's the lowest risk there is. So I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just hit COVID. Just that he's the lowest risk there is.

So I'm waiting, yeah, I'm waiting on, aside from me, I'm waiting on this turn around. You're, I mean, you just had it too. You have with the current stride, I would think you would be good. But I'm outside. So since people recognize me, they come over and start, I'm like, hey, get in, I'm waiting.

I have to wait on this. You guys gotta get in there, we're gonna fuck up the surprise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're not, listening to me. Why not? I don't know, because people like hanging around outside and shooting the shit. Like, you guys gotta get inside. Randy's coming in any moment.

He's already taken like 12 minutes, 13 minutes. Trying to get our friend who forgot his phone, because you need your phone to get in anywhere now. Like go, go, go, get in. The car's getting bigger and bigger and bigger and then we see Randy off in the distance. So if somebody gets the bright idea to yell hide and all of us cram behind the door,

this bar, like a Muppet movie, looking at Randy's head. She couldn't actually get in there quick enough. No, so he had like two people saying, surprise because all of us were outside hiding behind a door. That's hilarious. Anyway, bring your vaccine card. New bonus episode.

I forget if I plugged that. Patreon.com slash the Dixia. Where do we go over on that one? We did, we pretty much concentrate. Well, we did the normal stuff and we concentrated on the best debate in the universe. Oh, yeah.

exclusively. And it's worth it. Also, I have to pay off a rage from a, go ahead. Go ahead. The guy we called in. Go ahead. Okay, my rage brought up, you brought up something akin to it the other week and I never paid it off last week. Yeah. Ramen super fans.

And I think you're a ramen super fan. Yeah, I like ramen. You like ramen. My girlfriend likes ramen. Yeah. Because ramen sucks. Just all ramen? Basically, people, especially in LA, there's a lot of places downtown.

Let's all go out for ramen. Everybody fucking goes out for ramen. It's a huge fucking cauldron of same. Yeah. The same fucking taste. It's just different textures. Everything tastes like the fucking broth. Yeah, you see, I'm, yeah.

Fucking right. It's like, you got noodles. Okay, like springy broth. You got this, you got this modeled gray fucking soap broth soap meat. Okay. Chewy broth. It does take soap meat. It's a chewy broth. It does take on the... Spring onions, crunchy broth. And then for some reason, there's like a fucking sliced hard boiled egg in there.

Just, I don't know to break it up. So it's like, okay, 10 bites, okay, good. Now you got 650 bites left to eat this shit. You got no sides, you got no nothing. It's the same fucking thing. Fuck ramen, ramen sucks. That's my rage. Yeah, and then you're so packed full of ramen.

Like it's a horrible date food. Yeah, because you want to get, be intimate with your girlfriend. Both of you have like a fucking gallon of milk sloshing around in your stomachs. Where literally if you lay down, you can hear it go through like a fucking tank that's like 90 percent drink. I know.

I know all those places have like singtow or like beer that's basically water. Yeah. Come on guys, they got one downtown, they get a ramen place, we got duped into going to. There's a bunch of them. Yeah, some people stand out in the fucking line like around the block to get into this place because it's so much better. Same. And it's it was vegan. We got around the block to get into this place because it's so much better. Same.

And it's, it was vegan. We got all the way to the front. Oh, God. How do you put the pork on? Because all this vegan. What is, why do you even exist, man? It's terrible. You have to veganize ramen.

Um, you know, I don't know, man, I will take a, you might be right. I'll take a main course and sides any day. It's like break up the flavors, God. You know what else I saw? Here's something else that makes me rage. I saw a bunch of people using the phrase, nothing but luck separates us from them. You ever heard that phrase?

I mean, I saw some guy saying it on about your brand of course. A kin to it. Yeah, no, you know, you got to, I told my son, nothing but, you know, nothing but luck separates us. And I'm like, yeah, I remember my dad saying that to me as a kid a lot. I mean, if that you are, you're not doing anything to your, it seems like you're just using this concept to make me feel bad and you feel better.

That's what it seems. I mean, nothing but looks also separates you from grandstanding over this realization out of nowhere. There's fucking shower thought that does that is totally worthless to me that you just bring up randomly to make me feel bad. Oh yeah. Wow, I really feel do you and you feel good about it. You're lucky to be you're lucky to not be born there. I mean, you're lucky not to be you're lucky to lie. Okay. Yeah, thanks a lot. Right. So fucking are you. Yeah, but I brought it up. Well, people want to, I said it first. So I am better than you.

Like war and hardship and death always bring up like pseudo, you know, philosophical thoughts. It's, yeah. There, but for the grace of God. Cool. Oh, I, I think it will show what you're God. Like that makes you more, are you like a priest now telling, giving me a homily God's, God's looking out for you. Yeah what you're God. Like that makes you more, are you like a priest now, telling giving me a homily about...

God's looking out for you. Yeah, you got it. Some other places in the world, not so much. You know, son. He's gonna let you do. He's gonna fucking start with there, but go to grace of God, go I. Well, why don't you swap then?

How about you switch for a day? Go eat some ramen. Why don't you do what God's, why don't you do precious, Goddy boys work then? Go give him the switch for a day, give them your wallet. Buck, and you take his, you go pick up cans on the side of the road, go for it.

See how much luck is involved and being addicted to heroin. Let me see what else I have here. Phantom honking, oh no. Do you hear about this? Phantom honking. Oh, no. Do you hear about this? Phantom Hawking. Oh, you know what I saw before I get to the Phantom Hawking. What did you see? You know that movie free solo. It's something that something else that makes me rage. Okay.

Free solo. Do you see that? No. About a guy that climbs mountains with no ropes or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Just like being dangerous. Yeah, I know the driving trunk. I don't get any movies made about me for driving recklessly. You know, the, the, the amygdala. Yeah, I don't talk about them. Yeah, I bitterly resent those people because they, they've learned, you know, we know this for some time that, that the, the capacity for fearlessness is genetic. Yeah. Not brave basically there, but fearlessness. Basically, I'm that guy too. Luckily, like with luck. Sure.

So, you know, it works both ways. I could also be that guy. That's true, you know. That's true. Nothing special about that. It could be me. No big deal. Yeah, it means you're like your fucking sympathetic

nervous systems all fucked up. Yeah. Because you don't get scared when that shit, you know. So they made another one, because it makes a ton of money, right? Yeah. And it's about a similar kind of dude. But they got it their way in the beginning of the movie to say that he was like getting addicted to drugs.

Yeah. Before getting into mountain climbing. So he traded like an extreme behavior for other than they say, oh, he could have gone down a really dark path. You know, drugs could have gone down a really dark path. You know, drugs could have gone down a really. Freak climbing could have gone down a really dark path, right? They sneak that in there. They're dare shit. He's talking about doing acid or something.

Didn't even sound that bad. He's like, oh, he could have gone down a really dark path. And then at the end of the movie, he dies. Falls off a mountain. No, I didn't know. Yeah, they do this whole thing. Oh, I could have gone and really into drugs but I got into into mountain climbing. But he's not doing what he loved. He died climbing. Like, well, so it sounds like you just sort of kept doing the drugs. I mean,

you're doing mountain climbing, climbing dangerous and more dangerous mountains. It seems like you could just be drunk, like normal. Like, that's the, was that the, did I draw the correct moral from this movie? Or did I miss the point? Probably take longer to kill you. Maybe just smoke some weed, like a regular guy. Don't be climbing around mountains. Did you ever see that female newscaster

who did the story about the, about the, well, she set it up. I think you know what I'm talking about. Because I talked to a guy about it recently. I tried to find that guy. I bring it up all the time, too. Yeah. When it was my favorite clip.

Yeah, it's something about like so and so blah, blah, blah. The blind guy who sent in about the threesome advice knows that guy. Oh, really? I said, tell him that I want to talk to him because the funniest thing that, but he's different. Yeah.

He's gay. Blind. He's blind. Because he's summited Everest or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Phantom honking. Let me see if I can find that. The trucks have left Ottawa. They all got arrested and got their banks closed or whatever. Did they? Yeah. Who didn't do anything to them? Surprisingly, such a bad guy. But Phantom, he's definitely a bad guy, but Phantom she's he's definitely a bad guy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, well, uh, all in my opinion, all

governments are criminal organizations that profit from war. Can we all agree on that? Yeah, they do. I think the US government's a little bit worse. I don't know Russian one. I think the USSR was worse than the US government. Yeah. But now I think the current, the current Russian government is the same, right? As the USSR. They had more, they had more things. They had more countries under them. They were more powerful, I think. Yeah. Now they're, you know, they got FedEx, and so well, not anymore. They don't have fucking FedEx anymore. I'm so sorry for your hog. Ha, the trucks have left autoish on, but Phantom honking lingers for many down town.

What the fuck is, oh, you, they're still hearing the honks. It's a PTSD thing. The honks are so long. Yeah. They're got so freaked out by the honking. Uh, it was one thing for me, but I've got animals. I've got three cats, two dogs. So yeah, it was torture.

Says Kevin, who doesn't want to give a last name for fear of being called a F-slaur all the time. That's not what it says. That's editorialized. The quote torture is the reason behind an ongoing class action lawsuit. That's not an injunction prohibiting any participants in the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, so they're all gone. Yeah, when you hear that noise, it's like, oh, are they back? Oh, wow, it's like you got raped by honks. Trigger. So when he hears that noise, they're haunted by Phantom Hunking, which sounds like blaring truck horns,

but no actual sounds are there. Are you sure it's Phantom Hunking and not being retarded that they're haunted by? That must have been fucking annoying as fuck. When you hear that noise, it's like, oh, are they back? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, could just be traffic.

Could just be honking. Is there a road convoy coming back, right? Says Sean Flynn. Well, of course, truck horn sound different. Yeah. Well, they're not even hearing anything. Well, don't you know. They're just freaking out.

Yeah. Ah, waking up at night. Honk! I felt like I was constantly doing these sorts of, I never thought I'd hear the term phantom honking. Yeah, did you ever think Iron Man would be not in out jets and Iron Man would team up with Betty White and fucking the painted whale going around,

fucking slapping Putin on his butt? I mean, I did actually. You did that? I figured we'd get before the term phantom honking, I figured we would get Iron Man before that. Where's the, so we're in Syria, right? What's the difference about what we're doing in Syria? Then Russia going, oh, going into the Ukraine saying, well, those guys are saying they're

independent, so we're going to protect them from you guys. Well, there's countries in, well, there's like, you know, whatever, republics or whatever inside Ukraine that consider themselves part of Russia. Yeah, they want to be. Yeah. Or they want to be. Yeah. And Ukraine said, okay, it's been eight years. I mean, that's the one thing those guys have been fighting for eight fucking years over

this. And now all of a sudden there's good guys and bad guys and the fucking Avengers are assembling and everyone's been, well Putin's 140 million people are getting their fucking banks turned off. Well, Putin for a long time, said Ukraine's part of Russia. That's, you know, he's always, he's been, you know, he's been waiting his time for. By the way, this was a, pro-demon voted on this quote, unquote invasion. He didn't sit there and go like, oh, yeah, let's do it.

Well, no, yeah, he did. That's it. They voted on it. So yeah, we should put peacekeepers in there. You and I both know that's not a real vote. Oh, no, no, that's, it completely isn't. Oh, so they don't have legitimate votes, but we do.

Oh, no, compared to them, yes. Oh, okay. Compared to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's completely not the same thing. Oh, what do they think? Just, just think about our votes. Just do a little research. I believe that they're fake.

Yeah. I don't want to know how much worse than ours they are. I think a lot. Well, it's kind of binary, isn't it? It's either, no. It's fake or it's not. No. No.

It either changed or it didn't. You know that we had, you know that we staged a coup? We changed their, the Ukraine's election in like 2014. Flap and we're like, we don't like, you gotta, you put a pro Russia guy, no, we're getting rid of him. We're doing it again. Well, Ukraine, I'm talking about Russia.

I'm talking about Putin. All the, Putin can stay in power the rest of his life. All he's got to do every however many years is step, basically he'll be elected president instead of prime minister. I'm sure you wouldn't want him to be president of the US for the rest of his life. No. Okay, wait, what do I have? Don't want to bomb it.

I don't want anybody. That's the, that's how you get fucking you don't want that. Yeah. I disagree. I mean, I think Roosevelt was wrong. You kept it going. Running it. Fuck yeah. Yeah. You kept it going. Running it. Fuck yeah.

Yeah. Let's see here. Oh, here's a music teacher talking about sex with kids. Oh no. Talking about talking about sex with kids. Oh, talking about talking. Yeah, Sean, it's nothing gross. It's totally normal.

I mean, there's this great account called Teachers Exposed that grabs like teachers saying the most outrageous shit on TikTok or whatever. Let me pull this up. Okay, this is Mr. Long and elementary school teacher. He doesn't like the idea of not being able to discuss sexuality with students. Don't say gay bill happening in Florida.

It's like Texas now they can't talk about sex with kids. Yeah, or do trans stuff and they have to report it to CPS. Like sex, what about sex ed? They don't want that. I don't know. Yeah. I don't want that. These fucking weirdos talking about sex with kids.

I don't know thanks. Can you just teach them math or nothing? Just like, don't tell them anything. Put a, put 10 masks on every teacher so they can't, and then they're amazing. And then we're hard from life. Yeah, and then what happens is all these hardcore fucking Christians always want to sneak their daughter

in the back door of the abortion clinic. Oh, she made a mistake. Oh, she made a mistake. Not like all those, not like all those other people. We're just using it as fucking bird control. Yeah. It tries me fucking, it's my fucking brave.

The abortion should try me insane. Cause everybody, like, cause all politicians in my situation is different. Yeah, mine was rape. Cause it's still a person. How's that? Oh, does God, is God cool with that then? Precious Goddy boy.

So I guess it's like mandatory reporting. If you're a teacher in Texas and you see a trans kid, you got a CPS or something. What? I don't know, it's something like that. Teachers all pissed off. Cause they took the trans people, took the sports too far. Keep the feet, I told them.

I fucking told them. Don't fuck the sports. We've got to get people pissed off. I'm a fuckingin did they fucking did That's the only thing I'm that's the only thing I'm pissed off about all you had to do was not fuck around He's anything else anything else. Everything else the same what I want I'll call you whatever pronouns you fucking want all the same rights all this but god damn it There's a difference between men and women's sports.

They're out of the two much. So now it's illegal. Now we're fucking with kids again. Now, you know, here's what something else that drives me nuts about the pronouns, right? What? Because I don't care about pronouns. Never done. Never have. Use them. Stop being an idiot, right? But I mean, just call it. Yeah, fine. So conservatives, as soon as they get married, they all have new pronouns. Right, like every woman changes her name and everybody just goes, especially very conservative traditional,

it's like, no, you take the man's last name. Oh, I miss his Smith. Right, those are fuck, and now you guys suddenly don't understand pronouns. Proper now. I've been doing this for thousands of, a thousand years, like, oh, I'm gonna go, I can't wait to go to the fucking government

and put that I'm now Mrs. Fucking Doobard Smith. I'm so fucking excited about this because it's my whole identity. Oh, that guy wants to be called her. What? That's retarded. What does, that doesn't make any sense? Bitch, you've been doing it for fucking decades.

God damn. Call a married woman Miss and see how she suddenly understands Pron out how I married it's that's actually that's true. Oh, is that true? What that that one? I think it isn't funny. Like, oh, what is the pro not so dumb? You fucking idiots have been doing primes forever. Miss miss is yeah. I don't know how people get been out of shape about it, but it is, but it is. They do.

But it is, I mean, they definitely, they use it. Okay, so we're not, we're just doing this from now on. How about I just call you bitch? Here we go. I don't be flooring it all right. It's not gonna work. Even if it passes, it's not gonna change what people think it's gonna change. Like, I don't know what my kids are.

Like, there are just some dumb little sponge that exists in silence until you tell them what to think it's gonna change. Like, I don't know what these kids are. Like, there are just some dumb little sponge that exists in silence until you tell them what to think. No, they're humans. They're small humans who see the same world you see, who consume the same media, you consume to an extent. They are living breathing organisms with lots of questions. And we, as teachers, have the job to field those questions, to make kids feel safe and seen, and create an environment in which they can raise their hand and say,

I don't understand can you please explain it? And then we have to explain it. No, you don't. You're really going to ask people to just, don't we can't talk about that here? Yeah. Everything then you fail every child that is inquiring of knowledge. And it's just not gonna work. Okay, I don't know. Not as incendiary as that. I don't think teachers should be allowed. I think they should say no. I don't wanna talk about that.

Just like social media gets so many, hence I'm getting so many teachers in trouble and shit like that. I mean, it's funny. It's really like a, it's kind of an IQ test. I mean, just social media. Yeah, I mean, it's really like a, it's kind of an IQ test. I mean, it's social media. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, if you're on it or not, if you're on it, you fail. To an extent. No, I mean, there's people who know exactly what they're doing on social media and use it for,

you know, to generate income, ultimately, but here's a staggering statistic, Sean, income ultimately, but here's a staggering statistic, Sean, from women's, from women. Women hold, this is the woman's march. I don't know what that is. I think I saw the women's UN tweeted. Women hold $929 billion in student debt. That's two thirds of the nation's entire 1.7 trillion student debt. This is a gender justice issue. I want to cancel student debt and put in, is that math sound? I don't think that's right. Two thirds. Let's give that another look. 9, let's see. 9.22. Okay, 9.9. 9.29 divided by 1.7 trillion. That's 54%.

And maybe those women aren't getting math degrees. I was going to say that. No, it was like that doesn't seem to. Two thirds. Yeah. Are we rounding up from 54%. I mean, that's not a big jump. That's a big jump.

Yeah, I wasn't taught to round to the nearest. I guess women are billion. Yeah, you wanna round up? What is actually two thirds of 0.66 times 1.7 trillion? What is it? Okay, 1.12 trillion. Yeah, that's a hundred billion off. I mean, there's like 300 billion off of what they're 1.2. Yeah. Making it a gender issue. Yeah. So it's that they they account for slightly more than half. Ironically, I looked it up, or funny enough, and men account for a higher than, men account

for like 60% of the student debt holders. So technically men are holding more debt. Oh, really? Yeah. Because there's more of them holding it, and there's only 50, you know, the percentages are greater. So there's more, women have more debt, but there's more men are greater. So there's there's there's more women have more debt But there's more men with debt. So it's there

Anyway All right, what else I got here? Victoria's secret model with Down syndrome. How's that sound? Dangerous It sounds dangerous Okay, well that's nice. Down syndrome and Latina. Man.

How come guys can't get in on this craze? Like I'm sick of seeing pretty people selling booze and call cars and stuff. I want like a Down syndrome person, so the new Ford Raptor. It's like quirky for life. Is it just some kind of a but- Like Victoria's secret model with the,

this is guy, this is some kind of abuse, isn't it? What do you mean? I mean, I know down, it really runs this, there's a big spectrum. Like it from, it depends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know what I can say. You say it's stunning and brave. Here is, what is her name? Sophia, something. Sophia Jiru.

Maybe her body isn't even there. Is it? I guess her body is a Dauro. Why? Is there a J? Yeah. She's letting it. I don't know if it's Jiru.

Puerto Rican. She's the second Puerto Rican model featured in Victoria's Secret Campaign. Wow, they got two Puerto Ricans and one of them's retarded. Oh, here it's like Jerao or Heroa, right? Yeah. Our women this much more evolved than us

that they could have a Down syndrome model and like this is effective messaging. Do women read Victoria's secret catalogs? I don't know. So you gotta be a black woman that weighs 500 pounds or I have Down syndrome. Here's some, let me see. Yeah, this is another ad I saw in my girlfriend's phone.

What the hell is that? Is this their model? This is free people's model? Oh, man. I mean, she's got a fucking oxygen, but like, she's got some kind of, she's CP. Yeah, I mean, she's got a crippled Jesus' thing. He should, he should model clothes.

Oh God. A crippled Jesus should be a fucking spokesman for wild turkey. Rolling in with his chair, yeah, doing a six, six slide, right, drift in to chicks on either side. Yeah, what's up? Right. You guys drink wild turkey, right? You still exactly somebody pouring a man on the rocks.

Yeah. Ladies have two wheels, one for each of you pouring it in his mouth. Pretty inspiring campaign, isn't it? Two wheels. They couldn't take the oxygen out of her. Like, was the oxygen necessary? Up during the photo shoot? Well, it's probably she can never pop it out.

Oh, man. Or is that part of the ad? How does she? Well, that, that, I think it's, no, I think it's that. I think it's to really show like this is it. But if you look at like Darth Vader, if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. And then you, yeah, let's see. Look. And then you mouse over the stuff that they, the stuff that they said into women's, you mouse over it. And it's, it shows you like what she's

wearing. So you can go buy it. But she's in a wheelchair, it's like we, we're all expected to pretend that this isn't a little bit strange. Class. Yeah, yes. Yes. Yeah, okay. Let me read some comments here. You think they're gonna get some nukes?

Just one or two? No. Really? I don't think so. God, all this goddamn nukes? Just one or two? No. Really? I don't think so. God, all this goddamn nukes. Yeah, no. I don't think- If you were a pood and wouldn't you want to throw at least,

like when you want, they're never forget the guy that nuked, you know. They'll never forget the guy that nuked Greenland or something or Alaska. The history will never forget that guy. Well, true. In ol' gay, everybody knows it. Yeah. Do you remember the, remember the, the plane that dropped on Nagasaki? Nobody remembers that. Did it have gay in it?

No, it was the... That's why I don't remember. I believe it was called the Buckscar. But it was... It was the second one, so nobody, you know. Yeah, boring. Yeah. Done with that. Okay, let me read some comments. Fat loving retard. Hey, Dick and Sean, I have a fat feeding fetish.

Fat slash feeding fetish. Oh, so he's one of these a feeder. Yeah. I was listening to the most recent episode, and you guys talked about that fat Twitch girl that did what is essentially feeder porn. Thought you guys would be interested in the fact that I have this fetish and this gross shit turns me on.

Yeah. The girls you guys saw is way too fat even for me. Oh really? Yeah. On her Twitter, she says she's 505 pounds and my limit is generally 250. So they have like weight classes. Yeah.

I guess that makes some sense. But there's something, but the fetish has got something to do with the food and shit too. It's not just fat women. Yeah. His limit is 250. And he starts getting unattracted to them. I guess, yeah.

You're losing weight before I can feed you again. Yeah, maybe. In an ideal relationship, I'm a virgin, big shocker. Oh. What's the thing? You know, people's minds are, it's so weird. That whole thing, it's just, it's so crazy how people are wired. Yeah. It's like, fucking, I have no idea why.

Like that kid at the park that just said, hey, lady showed his wiener. So that's what the woman who's dog, Lee's got drug through shit, got flashed by a little pervert. How old is this kid? I don't know. Like a fucking- Lookin' at his wiener the whole time, I couldn't tell how old he was. Oh my god.

Probably like four or five. Hey lady. Hey lady. Did an adult come and run to go like brick? All the moms are freaking out. They don't know what to do and they couldn't contain him. Well that's, yeah. Yeah.

It's fucking the honking all over again. This fucking kid's gotta be stopped. One woman finally hit him and not side of the head with a brick. I get my girl, I'd get my girl up to around the 210 mark and then have her drop to 190 and get it back again and then drop again. Oh my God.

That's an ideal relationship. Give her a heart condition or something. Jesus Christ. So his ideal relationship is Give her a heart condition or something. Jesus Christ. So his ideal relationship is to just fatten them up, make them drop the weight, fatten them. This would be the best way to live out this fetish, but not put her life in danger. No, you're putting her life in danger.

I mean, it's not good to go up, yeah. Yeah. For me, the most arousing part of the fetish is the way the fat looks aesthetically. The softness of it registers the same for me as ass or titties or for a normal guy or a lesbian. Have you ever thought that? Like a big fat roll.

I don't think that's a kabube. Well, no, but I'm not attracted to women who are really overweight. To me, women are supposed to be soft and squishy and fat enhances this. I also am attracted to girls of a normal weight, but skinny women don't do it for me. That's good for us. The feeding aspect is also something I like. A lot of psychologists look at the feeding fetish, think it's all about control. I think this is mostly looking at relationships

with their goal is immobility, sadly quite common in the feeder community. Yeah, do you ever watch those fat shows where they have boyfriends? The Duncan Bedard losing weight. They're like, I'm out. See, oh, the boyfriend leaves? Yeah. Oh, because a lot of, yeah, because it is a lot of fetish people, right? I mean, because I mean, otherwise, I mean, like the woman's 700 pounds. You would have to have a fetish, right? Yes.

Like non-sexual, I would think. They're wheeling these women through the airport on a luggage, like a home depot. Yeah. I know. Sinder blocked, right? Yeah, I know. But for me, it's not that way.

The feeding thing to me is like treating a girl like a queen, giving her anything she wants, making her happy. I used to want to kill myself because of the fetish, but now I just don't care. Well, that's good. You shouldn't care. You're every woman's, your most women's ideal man.

Just letting them get as fat as disgustingly possible. Um, especially since my general attraction range is to women who aren't on the brink of death. Anyway, don't know what else to say. If you have any questions about the fetish, send them my way. Other than that, go fuck yourself and smooches for Sean. Well, thank you, fat loving retard. Interesting.

I always like it when those people, uh, yeah, right in me too. Nebis, my girlfriend hates you. Fuck her. But loves fat watch. Please don't use my full name. Just Nebis will be fine. Hey, Dick and John, my girlfriend, Perky, C. Cup Tits has been living with me for the past year and hates your show. Yeah. Uh, this all changed when your fat watch segment started. It's very popular. It's very popular. I play the music again. Fat watch, today in fat news. Her utter disgust at these landwales, shamelessly posting body positivity stories,

and stomach churning videos has motivated her to eat less and exercise more. It has become one of her favorite things to watch you and Sean rip into these crimes and these natures. Thank you. Do we have, thank you for your service? One more. One more. Yeah, smooches for Sean, go fuck yourself. P.S., can you please make a fat watch t-shirt?

Maybe. If I could sneak in the fat watch part, so it's not HB, HB. Can you spell it differently? They're not very, the people that, yeah, they're not very smart because they're so busy eating. Let me see if I have any fat watch today. Yeah. So it's already played the thing. Played it three times, I think. Oh, I did. Yeah. Okay. Here's some fat watch news for you people. Oh, here. No, here's a good one. Wait a minute. Let's start it off with some Lizzo. Lizzo, that's right. Lizzo's watch out for the Fett girls official trailer from Prime

video. Oh, Sean, spring into Fett this season with Lizzo's watch. It's called Watch Out for the Big Girls spelled with four R's. Right. What are those R's? I think it's like a stands for, there's four R's, right? Yeah. I'm trying to think of some car boards that start with R. Stands for, I don't know. Let's watch the thing first, what we think about? What's up y'all? It's Lizzo. I'm looking for dancers to join me on my tour.

Girls, that looks like you need to help me represent me. Oh my god. What is that stage made out of? No, it's arc. We say it's arc. They print it out the blueprints for Noah's arc and brothers. I'm a big girl. To be a background dancer for Lizzo,

we just want to- Oh no, it's a show about finding background dancers for Lizzo. Like a bunch of fucking hippopotamus's like Fantasia? Yes. You know that, you know that several of them take a tumble every show. Because once you get it going on, balance just a little bit, look, I'm going to go, they all have no tips. I'm realizing that I do deserve a spot.

Oh my God, they found a Chinese one, or a Japanese one. She's too skinny. Yeah, she's too skinny. Especially in your image for you to enjoy. You don't have to be skinny. You don't have to be skinny. You're just beautiful the way you are.

No, not beautiful. I'm not going to stand outside my comfort zone. Now I'm going in the opposite side. Sean, they're doing yoga. way you are No, not beautiful My comfort zone now I'm going in the office. Sean they're doing yoga. Did you see that? Yeah They're wearing track pants. He's trying to demean me. No one on the show can be caught. Should be caught little.

Anything. Oh, okay, well This is like you know what I'm sorry. You're just too fucking fat. You're just fat. I mean, wait, go back. People eat at these shows. Oh, God.

Do you think they see a drop off in the show like during dinner time? We're like, oh no. It is not flattering lipstick. What angle would be flattering on this one with the Hubble, the James Webb one? The text dark matter. It's a lot of potential, but this is not the time for potential. This is the time for...

Oh God! When the fact hits, when the faculty hits bounds, it's more... It's disgusting. It's one image of beauty. Not the time for potential. They're breaking the glass stairs in this one. So how we do it. Yeah.

What's up with the big ones? What's up with the big ones? Taking baths. This is, this is gonna be great. Three hours. So we have to do some, we have to do some dictations or whatever on or what is it? Yeah, dictations.

And they got a skinny girl in here to sell the VR experience, right? Right. Um, my God. The three Rs. That is gold. What? Rest. Relaxation.

Ritz crackers, probably one of... Ranch. Ranch. Ranch. Another R. What's one that's like diabetes? Oh yeah. Okay. Rachel and friends.

Okay, here's a warning from a big three-yard girl. Boy, that they're not gonna be putting up with unappreciative men, this, let's see what she has to say about things. Here we go. That's for all of, this is a public service. And that's what all of my ladies out there can hear the fact we will not be putting up

with unappreciated better in our lives. So I said, I love good as hell. Well, I said to photo to a man and his response was it was a nice color audio. Yeah, invisible right. No, we will not be putting up with that. I just blessed you with my beauty. Okay, hang on. Yeah. What that tattoo like across her chest that rose? Yeah, whatever. The size of the Christmas tree, what over under three gallons of ink? Yeah. Yeah. You put it up with that. I just blessed you with my beauty. And that's your spots, though. You take a fire photo, send it to me, send it to your friends. We will be way more.

This is all because she a guy didn't react. She said, really like congested. Like she's got a chicken bone stuck in her sinus cavity or something. Oh, it's a little powerful, it's a little powerful. I have a track to be as I am. I am not gonna put up with an unappreciative man. A bottle of dual puker. The water's all built. Sorry, I got the bottle.

What's the lock sleeve on it? Got the chicken bone out. I don't wanna hear you say, are you sure you're covered up the right tits? Let's lock something I wanna hear this time. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, they're angry. It's a season of angry.

Okay. Here's a woman, this is the final fair watch I give to him. Woman who spent $215,000 on a butt lift. Wow, what were they lifting it with? I don't know, but it's probably made by fucking like John Deere. They got the space shuttle crawler in there. They broke six forklifts doing it. That's why I cost so much.

What is their name? Natasha Crown. It was a union job. A super expensive. Teamsters had to be called. Well, it was only going to cost six grand, but then the teamster has got involved because it's over 6,000 pounds. Natasha Crown has undergone six surgeries to fulfill her dream. Her dream. This is her dream. Someone dreamed of this? It's Natasha Crown's dream to have the world's biggest, but so far it's cost her $215,000 and trouble finding a man who isn't scared to date her.

That happens a lot. Women writing articles, men are always scared to date them because they're either too intelligent or too fat or ugly. You never can notice that in these articles. Right. According to the sun, Serbian-born crown who now lives in Sweden, that's a rough immigrant. Wait, wait, wait,

her dream is to have the world's biggest ass. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, sorry, I blanked out there. Has undergone six surgeries to enlarge her posterior because his crown believes the bigger the booty, the better. Whoa. Dude, that's a big, that's a maze. She's got a maze for on her clothes

that I really desperately would not take. Totally. I mean, I have literally seen that same pattern on like an area rug. I'm not kidding. I was in a fat lady that you were walking down. That falling down. Yeah. What the fuck is this? I don't know what's happened to our world.

Yeah, I don't know how do you describe this pattern? It's not herring bone. No. It's like squares that look like little Mario feet and other Mario feet. Yeah, it's a, but it's all stretched out because she's so big. Her head looks like,

she looks like Chumley from Pond Stars, but a woman. Her head looks too small for her body. Her lips are like fucking, she's had so many injections in there. It's... Yeah. That got 10,000,

there's 10,000 people that liked this. Yeah. What you're looking at right now. I didn't, well, maybe I should like it. But while she is very pleased with the results of her surgery, it appears her body shape and personality scares men. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I could see that. I'm famous for my big butt. My last relationship was seven years ago. I'm pretty extreme, so I think people are afraid of me because you're gonna eat them. Mm-hmm. She was on an episode of plastic surgery called Bouched. Yeah, I remember Bouched.

She says she has broken chairs, beds, and people with her butt. Jesus. Wow, scary for you. You have my personality and then you have my body and then you have everything else on top of that. I probably feels like that with you. It's extreme. Says Crown who is a master following of two million fans on Instagram.

Wow. Oh, look at that. She's wrapped in velour like a couch. Mm-hmm. What, look at this pocket. What could possibly go in this pocket? Insulin, tortillas? Seriously.

Her first surgery was when she was 20. Brazilian butt lift. Okay, well there you go. That's fat watch. Well, let's get out of here. Bet watch. Today in fat news. Okay.

Did I read all the comments? Maybe Avery, another rage, I hate children. Hey Dick and Sean, I emailed last week about the grocery store. You two made me laugh, you remember that? You made me laugh, I asked off about the end shit part. A good friend of mine came over right after I listened to the show. I played it for him and he had a good laugh too.

I interesting to him and about a woman, he called it a good book and they're your good men. All right, that was the highlight of my day today, hoping to be more coherent with this one, right to the rage. I live in an apartment complex and have a neighbor with an eight to nine year old kid. During the week, everything is normal, but on Friday nights, when I have to work early in the morning,

he blasts shitty music into all hours of the night. I ended up... Eight or nine, that's young to be blasting shitty music. I don't know, man, like kids, they're in a f-, so many f-, and like young kids who are into like K-pop and shit. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I ended up confronting him the other night and finding out that he was a kid in fact, and yelling at him because he was being a kind, people need to beat their kids more. God knows I want to. Other people need to beat kids more. What's with the parents? Cause the parents doing is them is what causes this.

Yeah. Other people beating kids. That's just life. You know, give your pause. Yeah. Parents beating kids is That's just life, you know. I'll give you pause. Yeah. Like parents beating kids is the wrong thing to do. Right. It makes people angry, lash out at everybody else, play music to get attention. So somebody will parent them. But other people really should just walk down the street and see a kid and go, bam!

That's like society correcting, you know. Yeah. It's the bumper, you know, bumpers in bumper bowling. Yeah. You get too far fucking outside. Everybody wants everybody else to do the job they should be doing. Well, you should be beating other people's kids. Not them beating their own kids, that fucks people up. Okay, beatings by proxy. Did you see that movie The Tender Swindler?

No. Oh, it's wild. Really? Yeah, it's like what would happen if a guy treated women the way women treat men? The tender swindler. It's hilarious. I wanna try to get it.

You know I'm all about a title. Yeah, yeah. He likes fakes that he's rich and then gets women to pay him tons of money and then blows it like on other women. But he's rich but they give him money. No, he just convinces them that he's rich. Well, no, I'm lying.

Oh, no, no, I know. He's just spending other money. But what? Yeah, but he gets, why, like, I'll pay you back. Yeah, he says that. That kind of shit. He's like, I'm fucking Nigerian scam or whatever. Like, yeah, he goes on like one day just to pass it this. So I'll give you the, and then like blows him away with his money and then just cons them into giving him more money by saying shit like his enemies are after him. Like bitch, my fucking enemies are after me. You got that 10 grand or what?

Jesus. And they do it of course. And it's somehow everyone else's problem. Okay, advice. Shana Khan. Hey, Dix, so I've got some success with telling a girl I like her shoes, but do you have another line

for when that really isn't applicable? I'm going skiing this weekend, and there's always a lot of hot women there. I like your boots. You think that would work? But telling them I like their ski boots doesn't seem like it would be a winner. No, it's not the same.

No, any advice for a different way to approach it, thanks man. Love the show since day one. You're stuck in a line with them. They can't use their phone, right? I mean, because they'll try, right? Slap it out of their hands. Whoa, whoops, let me help you. Never find it in the snow.

Yeah, you never find it in the snow. You can say whatever you want. If you're, I mean, that's like... Capture audience. Yeah, they're stuck in a line with you. You got no better. you could fuck up 100 times or they can't go anywhere. There's no right there.

You can say whatever you want. They got no phone to check. Oh, did you see, I was here early today, guys, fell off the ski lift. Pants got caught, weiner was flopping around. Well, areas. First thing that happens when you fall, almost fall off a ski lift.

Yeah, you got this pants stuck in the thing. Damned as thing. To make shit up. Yeah, almost fall off a ski lift. Yeah, you got this pants stuck in the thing. Damnedest thing. To make shit up. Yeah. There's a bear attack here. Right. Just this morning. Bear on skis.

Bear skid down. If you're escaping the circus. People thought it was a ski so we could mall on the way down. People thought it was a bombable snowman because you guys covered in snow. Turned out it was just a iron man. Turned out it was iron man. It's a iron man.

Yeah. Make up whatever you want. Oh, look at these trees. You know, these trees were, they just put them in. Yeah, this year. They just put them in. Just put them in. Right, they wanted to make it more dangerous.

They wanted to make it dangerous. You can believe that. My son hit him and died. There you go. I sued this place, got a lot of money for it. That's how you get the money. Yeah, I need to spend it on someone as quickly as I can. What about you guys?

What are you doing tonight? There was a transsexual skier here tonight this morning that I met on this. What do you guys think about that? Hit a tree, turn himself into a transsexual. Woke up. Woke up gay. Oh yeah. About that.

Right. Guy, skies into a tree, hits his head. wakes up gay. Many such cases of that. Narlie break up. Hey dick, been a fan for years. Email the few times. Just wanted to say hello and ask for advice. Girlfriend of three years broke up with me. I'm 26 and don't have a clue how to navigate the dating game just now. I'm about to start a doctorate in astrophysics, being that I'm a real smart person, not a Maddox level genius with finishing basic college. Well, you know, I can't all be Maddox.

No, but I can't stop drinking at least twice a week. Twice a week! Ha ha ha! Some people promise themselves that next week we'll be the week they drink only twice a week. Yes. And I'm messaging simultaneously with like four or five girls on different dating apps. It sounds like you're doing pretty well, buddy.

Yeah. Yeah. Even though I'm talking with girls, I can't seem to be bothered dealing with actually going on dates. Well, there's your problem. None of this has helped by the fact that I have COVID and can't go outside. Well, you'll get over that.

He needs it now. Yeah. He needs right, right now. I gotta, I need it fixed for what I have right now, whatever you got. I'm about to turn 27 in a week. And even though it seems like shit is looking up for me, I can't help but feel that life is pointless.

No, so just depressed about it. Probably he's talking to so many girls. I don't know. Talking to more than two girls is like, we're all crushing. I don't know when his check broke up with him, but you know, I mean, he doesn't say, he doesn't say how big our tits were either, does he?

What do I do? I'm from the UK, so that might explain it. What do I mean? I don't know. Explain what? This attitude that he has? Anyway, road rage, UK anytime you might feel like it. A Christ almighty, it's been long enough.

I would say to tamp down the number of women. Women aren't a cure for depression. Movies and TV will tell you that they are, but they're not. They're the cause of it. Well, just like money, like no one would say, oh, you don't have any money, you should go dated woman. Right?

You got money problems? You got to get yourself a woman around. That's straight in every, same thing. Nobody says, oh, you're unhappy, you should yourself a woman around. That's straightener. Same thing, nobody says, oh, you're unhappy? You should date a woman. If it's you having abundance of happiness, you have so much happiness and have your shit together, so tight, nah, you should go spend some of that on a lady.

Keep your humble. Yeah, knock some of that out of you. So you just say you get to the point where you're like, why the hell did I do this? Why I do this to myself? Then you fuck it all up and you go back and like, okay, well, I got a little too much happiness right now. Maybe I should get another woman around. Four or five is too many. He's just, you remember what it's like talking about multiple girls? I mean, not really. Not really. Yeah, not really. Can you imagine it?

I mean, I'm talking to five of them. Please not do it. He's only talking to them, right? He's never met the worst parts. Well, no, it's not meeting, not fucking, and endlessly like talking to them. He's a lot of looking, is a fucking nightmare.

Yeah, it's a lot of effort. Yeah, because they like to talk and they do it too. They have like five guys, women, doesn't matter, just dumping constantly. Okay, last one, hey, Deak, ace doesn't matter. Hey, Deak, this is a serious inquiry about a topic that most everyone might find too insane to believe. Okay. Billing it up. Iron man fighting jets. Right.

I'm 32, played in a band and toured, worked at a tattoo shop, easy way to get laid. Okay. And now I do hair for a living. I spent my early years chasing girls and had only getting laid in mind. Oh, cool. I think back for my early 20s, and being on tour and chasing women

and realize how empty it sounds now. But I can honestly tell you that my number is well over a thousand girls. Jesus. That's nothing. Some people have put 10,000 hours into EverQuest or, you know, world of warcraft. This guy's out banging a thousand girls. There's a lot of girls, much less.

I promise I'm not exaggerating. It does mean no good to lie. Well, I mean, I kind of, I kept up with this number in my phone with short notes explaining the time and situation. Oh, my God. He's like a serial fucker. Yeah, he's like Dennis from all he's sunny. He's got notes on every girl. I have notes on every girl I've ever fucked. It's all a don't fuck again. But I obviously don't have my LG smartphone anymore, Lull. I just loved intimacy, to be honest.

How would you come to terms with a past like that? And is there any way I could bring that up to someone I actually care about? Love Sean and Dick, please go fuck yourself. Well, he feels bad about it. I think you just don't know. someone I actually care about. Love Sean and Dick, please go fuck yourself. Well, he feels bad about it. I think he just wants to brag about it. It sounds like coming to terms with,

how do you come to terms with being awesome? Like he feels like he's done something bad, Erdi. Like, no, I mean, like, you're just like, maybe she should. That's where your head was at at that time. If you're not the same person, you can't, there's no, come, I don't know if there's coming to terms with it. You did it.

That's what, it's cool. Sounds cool. You did what you did at that time. That doesn't sound so cool. I wouldn't say that part. Right. That's what a lot of girls. That's what you thought was, like, that's what you thought was the right thing to do.

I mean, I don't know if you tell anybody about the notes thing. Right. People don't really like that. People generally don't like being categorized intimate experiences that define their humanity. Man, I mean, your past is your past, you know. Yeah. Women like that shit though.

Women always wanna be the last guy. The last woman that you get in my fucks. Right. Guys wanna be the first guy that they fuck. Mm-hmm. Is there any way I could bring that? How would you come to terms with a past like that? Probably, forgive your mother.

Probably. Well, I mean, I don't know. He banged a thousand girls and feel guilty about it. Probably some kind of family thing going on, right? I don't know. He bang his thousand girls and feel guilty about it. Probably some kind of family thing going on, right? I don't know, man. Try and give a shot. I don't know. How could you bring that up to someone?

I don't know. I just don't think, unless he's leaving out a big portion of big portion to information, then I don't see what he, I mean, I'm not him, obviously. But, you know, was he like abusive? Does he feel like you did bad things to a bunch of girls or something? Or if you just, if you fucked a thousand girls, you fucked a thousand girls and you were 22, not 32.

And it's a lot of work. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how strong as you're back, Jesus Christ. I guess you're in a new town every night touring with a band. Yeah, sounds like he was around. So smashed. Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah.

Uh, yeah, bring it up. Bring it up how everyone brings up their sex life with their partner by constantly comparing them to your past sexual partner to them. And if they figure out you're doing it, then do it obliquely so they can't figure it out. Yeah, good policy way to do it. That's the way to do it. All right, buddy.

This has been the Dix show, Patreon.com slash Dix show. See you at Road Rage. I'm going to play another song from the Sean album. Cool. Do do do do do do this is tell me about the old time. We did that last week. We did this is. Oh, really? Do we play gentlemen? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- This is good, it's good songs. I know. You can get this at band-eat-bat-eater-music.bandcamp.com. Sean, if you're hearing this, it must mean it's a beautiful Valentine's Day out there in the fall of the Angeles, California.

Oh yeah. We just wanted to give you a gift. Something we all knew you really wanted. A bunch of teenagers you don't know telling you how much they actually love you and want to fuck you. Shhh. Well, I'm gonna have to... Okay, sure. Is that what you want? After the bountiful success of my first song, Sean's Dance. Shhh.

That was a great song. I thought you needed more. And we're here to give it to you. You didn't just need some... It's a good bass. Over there. A 30-year-old from somewhere you can't even fucking pronounce. Telling you to dance.

No. You needed a bunch of dickheads to make you dance. So I wrangled up some of my closest Sean heads and we put our collective fucking Sean head together for this for you This is Don't you want to do that special dance for all of us Well, they want you to do the dance. I know you're gonna do it happy vales. Take it one out. See, a fourth of people are retarded. What did I mean by this?

Very nice. I can't help but listen to the instruments and stuff. And that's such a motown-based sound. It is. It's super-thumpy. Like, it's like, Jamerson sometimes would put like a sponge under the back by the bridge so that the strings wouldn't ring. It's kind of an old trick so it's, you know, you can play it really aggressive but it's still thumpy. It's not super articulate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really cool. It's amazing how much you know about

getting the right sound out of instruments. Okay, here we go. Hey, Dick, what makes me a rage is actually one of your biggest problems in the universe. Breast reduction. And I have a solution for it. Don't do it. Always moving or getting your tits to a laptop. And it's just getting thrown into trash or in a generator. What about the dude?. Oh my God.

It's it worse, doesn't it? But yeah, there's other women out there. We're getting in. It is Frankenstein's monster. It's still up the silicone. How the fuck are we in a world where we can transplant hearts? How's that? And get away.

It's a leverage, but not one. But not another. Does he think they just slice them off at the chest wall? Yeah, I'm clever and clever, but not one. But not another. Does he think they just slice them off at the chest wall like that would they do? But yes, we can't. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. and other women who want those titties. You're telling me they can transplant a human head, but they can't transplant it. If we're gonna recycle, let's get serious. Yeah, not basketball. It's gonna be fucking implant for that.

Go fuck yourself. Okay, well, you know, we get all this money for Ukraine. We can't do a set of you crane fund. Yeah, they got a break into the Ukraine fund. They made eight million bucks in Bitcoin. Can you believe that? Oh, man, what's that gonna buy? Three missiles, four missiles?

Wow. Internet really stepped up this time while I was buying Russian gas by the billion. All right, Dick, I've got a reach for you. Nobody likes driving. super fucking weirdos. And I agree with that. So they found a way to make driving worse. Modern technology, I tell you, you just get worse every year.

Yeah, true. So when you're driving in a country road highway it's dark you know there's two lanes one going each direction the car come the other way headlights already annoying as fuck blinding your eyes blind now new cars have this feature how can you get air quotes a fucking feature where you'll turn on the bright

automatically when it is right there yes i know exactly what i'm about to go back to normal life what is what is me coming along the other way but i don't get blinded except how can it do that you can't do that fast enough right yeah blinded by the fucking so bad.

And it's as soon as it's right in your eyeball next to you, it's bound. Yeah. And it's only on these new fucking trucks. All right. That's a good. Yeah. It does it too late.

Yep. Fuck. Uh, I agree. Yeah. Just click them on and off yourself. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, just click them on and off yourself. Yeah, I want to know, I just watched a video about people in LA protesting from or in UK, he claimed.

Yeah, you can. Do they not understand what protesting is? Do I not understand what protesting is? Do I not understand what protesting is? I you don't. I promise it's you. I thought it was just being fucking annoying at hell. In front of people you're protesting. Not somewhere else completely.

But we're in, right? Yeah. Law of the angel is in your, what do you want the government to do? Nuke them? They're already shouting off their banks. I've never understood protesting in another country. Where have you been for the last eight years?

They have a very complicated system of agreements and... I'm looking for YouTube and looking for that, but... No, no, maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, go fuck yourself. It's the least information I've ever seen people run with. Really? Yeah, this? Oh no.

Even with COVID, people understood like, mask on the face and, back in like breathing on each other is bad. But this is just like, you guys, what do you, it's like you're acting like this is some fucking Marvel movie. Like that snake island where the people are like, oh yeah, Russia, yeah, fuck you. And then they got blown up, which is all of that's fake. Snake Island.

People send around this thing where supposedly Ukrainians are on this island base. And Russia came up and said, hey, we're gonna, want you guys, we're gonna blow you up. And they said, fuck you. Like it's the breakfast club. People spreading around, it's not, they're surrendered. Like it didn't, and then they got blowed up.

That's like the story. Like, oh wow, badass. It's fucking badass, man. Okay, let's see here. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean here's what makes me a race. Predatory failed tactics. I just got done looking at an apartment and there's nothing really special about it. And they were telling me, oh, okay, so for the rate that we're telling you that's like

right at your budget limit, yeah, that's only good for today. And you have to start right now. You have to find an application. Right now. You have to throw now $400 for the son of an applicant. Right now. Throw now $400 for an application, you know, in order to get this one prize. Because it's so far below market.

I love to make that shit. It's just like, really rare. And I try to pressure me. It's a fucking thing. They're the worst, man. So, you know, what if I love losing my job or something? I'm just, you know, fucking S.O.L., right? Can I go talk to my wife about it?

Can I think about it? I think when people do this shit, you know, they ass alone, right? Can I go talk to my wife about it? Can I think about it? When people do this shit, you know, they think it's like special and effective, like, business strategy. Oh, well, you know, I'm just pressured them to do it, like, within the next few hours, they'll sell it. And it's like, you might get the fail, but people will be fucking dead.

I fucking hate people like that. If you're like that, go fuck yourself. Yeah. I've never had that renting a place. Have you ever rented from a company instead of like a landlord? I've found that renting from companies are like infinitely worse than like landlords.

I thought we're always fine. They wanna fix their shit. They don't wanna get broken. And tenants are usually a nightmare. So if you're normal, then they're fine. True. But companies will stick some 22 year old girl and find their lobby who is a total con.

They don't, like, nothing is important. They will try shit like they've got guys that they used to work at T-Mobile selling you leases. Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. I've only rented from like property managers who just passed, like once they screen. Well, then you get in contact. Once you have the place, you get in contact

with the actual owner. So I've never only dealt with it like a management company through the, you know, through the term on my lease. It's always, eventually they pass you on. It sucks. It's gonna get crazy when boomers all reverse mortgage their homes to BlackRock. Yeah. And like the only way you can live in a house is dealing with some fucking company like this. Yeah. Couple nukes fix that fix that right. Uh, maybe one more. Maybe two. Hey, vacation. Many Canadian here. I my rage is fat people advice.

When fat people give you the advice about something and it's always, it's always food related and it's always a sad advice. You know, to be like, if you're walk good, good soft ice cream, take it out and put it in the microwave. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know it's like a lot. It's, if you, if you had a big net soft, to anything in the Donald for the dollar menu, it's like a big Mac.

Yeah. Life hacks, fat hacks. Yeah. That's what he's talking about. All right. You boys are funny. What you got to do with ice cream is put it naked for like three seconds. Then you can dig in like I don't need to eat the whole tub of ice cream right away.

I don't like it. I can just let it chill out for moments. I like the ice cream frozen. Yeah. I don't need a system of schemes to eat this shit quicker. Mm-hmm. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that.

Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Maybe you should stop figuring out how to do that. Made it too easy on yourself. Yeah. Anyway, all right, everybody, see you road rage, um, 299 road rage 299. I have a good one. Just yeah, just. Well, anybody can wait till 300. It takes a, takes a lack of effort to do do road rage tonight. I got to really try to knock it killed. Yeah. In a week or die.

Well, whatever, nuclear war, whatever. Good luck to us all. See you. Thank you. Bye, everybody.