The Dick Show - Episode 300 - Dick on The Underdog

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

The plywood toilet, Reddit Squadron is destroyed, the Bro Code, the US/Russia influencer gap, Women's History Month, Chris the Kiwi is obsessed with Ted Bundy, a Black CEO, women pulling your hair, McDonald's leaving Moscow, electric food, saying "gay", Jussie goes to jail, and going back to work; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I feel like it should be more momentous today because it's 300 and I was thinking the same thing. I really blew the wad last week. Yeah, well, I asked you to change the date of the show too. So I figured, I figured, oh shit, like, you know, who's going to come in tonight? Yeah, but you know, team in the night was the Monday night. That's about right. We were going to limp at least I'm alive. True.

That was the only thing I had to do is stay alive. Yeah, stay alive. Did you think you weren't going to? Kind of. You mean for the year or for the for this episode? If I die at three oh one is fine. Three hundred's a nice yeah. Four five hundred.

You die at any other episodes fine, but three hundred. That would have been a bad one. Yeah, five died before the pandemic was over That would have really been a disaster Serena feel it coming back what your life pandemic. Yeah, pre-pandemic. Oh, no for sure for sure I'm talking about burning man with people for sure talking about festivals with people you can't The pandemic people are coming back. No, I got my haircut. Yeah. Okay, the show's already started. I got my haircut last week to go camping. Oh, yeah.

And they trolled me again. They didn't really agree again. It's driving me crazy. Look. Okay, I'm taking my headphones off so you can see. Yeah. But this is after a couple of days' growth, but look at this. Again, they've shaved the sides of my head. Is that because I figured that you nobody will see

when your hair's down and it's like, I don't know. This is four separate barbers that I've told that I just want, what do you tell them? I say, I just want to trim, like, cut all the dead ends off and then, you know, cut the sides down. They're a little shaggy, like Scrooge McDuck. I start, while I say I just want to trim like cut all the dead ends off and then you know cut the sides down there a little shaggy like scrooge McDuck I

Start well I say bitch cuz it looks like they took they took Clippers to that so I said well, and she goes well, what do you want like a two or a one and the last guy? Remember straight razor decides in my head so it looked naked like a troll doll Mm-hmm people were coming by and Punching my cock a one or two a one or a two is super short. That's what I said. Like, well, no, not, so I said no, not clippers to the lady. Just scissors.

Just like scissors as she goes, well, what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Have you ever seen a, like, does aquaman look like you shave

the sides of his fucking head? And then he goes under water for three months waiting it for it to grow back so he could go. Baris meant go drink at a bar. Have you ever seen anybody with the kind of hair you're proposing and she's like, well, I don't understand what you want me to do. I don't know. I don't have the certificate from fucking Brieman's upstairs haircut school on my mirror

like you do. I just know I've never seen that. I'm pretty sure women aren't going into the, to the fucking $300 hair salon and getting a razor down the side of their head and maybe go, there you go. Maybe she's actually a dog rumor is giving you a summer cut.

People shave their dogs down in the summer so it's not that hot. I got so, I just got tired of arguing. I'm like, you know what, just do what you're gonna do. Just do what you're gonna do. I know you're gonna do it, so I'm sitting there filming. You know, as I do, sitting there in filming. Filming on your phone, posting things.

I didn't even go on my phone filming, so upset. Yeah, you ever get that upset with your girlfriend? I'm not even gonna turn on the television, I'm so upset. We're just gonna sit in this fight. Oh, I'm just gonna sit here and stare at myself in the mirror like a lunatic and remember Patrick Bateman lines. There you go. Guy walks in.

Guy walks into the barber store and he goes, do I have to put on a mask? Another guy there goes, I mean, if you want and she's under her breath, the woman raisering the sides of my head, wrong. The one woman butchering my hair goes, God's talking about mask. It's war now. Pandemic's over. I said God bless you later. It's over. It's fucking over. Yeah. And she's right. It's fucking over. Yeah. Presenting. Hey.

It's, and she's right. Mm. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, welcome to the end. You want to get into the 11? You guys are showrooms. The contest can be 11. I'm Bronco deep in the heart of Steve Fale. You got me. into you loving you. Get into the show. I'm the contest gonna be live from Mount Bronco.

Deep in the heart of Steve failure. I mean, how's the match? Okay, the $20 million man. Drinking these all is world touring LA based comedian, Shawnee Audio Engineer. Hello, Jack. What's up, buddy? How you doing?

300, I'm doing good. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Everyone, thank you for supporting the show. Yes. If you're monetarily more, thank you more than the rest. So thanks for listening. Yeah, way more. Other people, I'm thinking of you more than the rest. Thanks for listening. Yeah way more and other other people I'm thinking at the end of the show. What are people?

Oh, thank I should have been thanking you from the beginning of every show since day one. I've been thinking myself this whole time. Right. Well, I start now. Why change anything? It's going to mess everything up. Exactly. 300, that's a lot of fucking episodes. It's one more than the one we celebrated. That's true. That's what's important. But you know, Tony from hack the movies who won't stop talking about the reason he performed so badly at the show is because he was on an edible. He was obviously on an edible. Because you know, you've seen people who are fucking stoned, and then you're fucking stoned on an edible. And that's you just need, you need to be by yourself.

You should have been wearing a shirt that I had an edible on a couch with someone else working the TV for you because you're too fucked up to do that. Well, you know, it's funny is I told Riley I said, hey, go up there and introduce us, right? You know, Sean, with friends like this, who needs enemies? Yeah. That's what I always say. Yeah, right?

I say, hey, rather, we go up there and introduce you. Like, I just got done building the stage, dealing with all the borrowing cables from a Russian cable dealer downtown. Searching through bags, searching through fucking bags, figuring out that my 300 costume, I put that 300 costume on, you know? The jarred butler costume.

I had my dad and my girlfriend said I should do without my shirt on. I said, there's absolutely no fucking way that I'm doing that so you can laugh it. So you can laugh. I know that you want me. That's what it's for. Up there looking fat and gross.

And then you'll laugh at me later. Guess what? You're not getting that. I put it on backstage without pants on, because it came with like little shorts. Yeah. I put on to like, you know, hide your weiner. Put it on the weiner hider shorts.

I put the leather skirt on and I drop like a... He used an ancient Persia, right? The weiner hider? The weiner hider like a key engine ancient Persia, right? The weener hider? The weener hider, yeah. Big an ancient Persia. I put the skirt on and then I bent over, I dropped a pen, I bent over to get my pen. Uh oh. And the skirt, I'm just immediately burst.

Ha ha. Like Homer's like, you know, I mean, let's the fat go and that guy goes, you hide it. Remember that guy? So I said, well, thank God, I didn't, I put my jeans back. I'm like, well, thank God, I didn't do that because it was held. They spared, no, they spared an expense with the Velcro. I don't know if there's a supply shortage of Velcro or just like snap or a button.

Snap would have been great. Yeah. Really when you're wearing a costume that has a high chance of being around kids, you don't want your paint, you don't want your future and your sex offender registry potential being held in place by a one centimeter. It had one row, you know the Velcro hooks? Yeah. It had one row.

I've never seen it. Because some exactly one row. Some Velcro, you can't fucking pull apart. No, this was not that. The fuck is snap on it. Anyway, what was I talking about? So I say, hey, Riley, after I get done with that, I say, hey, Riley, go up there and introduce us.

Like, you know, here's, hey guys. How, if I told you that, what would you think that I meant? To go up and introduce the act that's coming on because I have nothing prepared. I saw all that. What do you mean? Does it matter? I mean, you know who the show is.

I know you'd have anything prepared. What do you mean? He's like, what do you want like five minutes? Like, no. Go up. I heard some of that conversation, I think. I remember hearing something about five minutes or like he was gonna do a set or something.

No, that's not what he meant. No, just go up and don't do it. Remember what I said about becoming my dad? I was like, no, yeah. Go up and he goes, I'll get Tony to do it. I said, okay, Tony did. Yeah, so Tony goes, I heard what you want me to go up and do like a stand-up comedy.

No, just go up and say, hey everybody, thanks for coming. Now, I present the dick show. Whatever, do your own spin on it. Get up there, say whatever you want. Say, hey, I fucking hate this guy. I just about to show, is I'm a good guy. Right. So then Tony, as you all see on the, the show is posted at patreon.com slash

the Dixia, I think Nick's posting on his Patreon too or whatever he has. So you can see this. Tony gets a, I don't remember what he even said. He walks up and sits down immediately. Tony, you're not cooking. This isn't Italian dinner that you're cooking up there. You're not calling, you know, you're not about to say grace. It's specified. He had to sit down before he fell down. Well, so then he's all, so then every comment, everywhere I pose, it's Tony going, oh man, my rage is edibles. Oh man, I really, like he's really hanging on, you know thing with, you know, who cares? I like a little red, the thing this week, don't I? Yeah. Well, you got some sun or something.

I forgot a lot of sun. I went camping this week. Yeah. You know, they, here's what they do with the Walmart now. Yeah. They lock up, they have all of the air mattresses behind, they have them locked up behind glass. You know, like they used to have the expensive stuff,

like the paint thinner and stuff, or the model paints and stuff. Or shaving razors and things like that, those are behind. Yeah. Because people steal that shit. Yeah. So they have, and it's the only thing I'm

being locked up was the air mattresses. Because I presume that almost this is so rampant. Yeah. At Walmart, Walmart who exists because of like subsidies and tack like because of entitlements like we pay their, they pay their employees so little that the government has to pay them to live. So the thickety and stuff and they're just eating asphalt outside of Walmart, right? Cooking it up.

They locked up. They went ahead and analyzed it. They brought in some consulting firm for $250,000 ahead. To say, what can we do? We really need to shore. We really need that. We've had record profits. It's lost prevention.

Lost prevention. Yeah. What specifically do we need to do? And some pencil dick for him or to do. Say air mattresses. We're hemorrhaging air mattresses. We've got to lock these, and they don't, so they have, they have about 500 air mattresses there.

Every kind of difference of your homeless, thinking you're gonna go in there and look, like just steal yourself, the most uncomfortable thing. Tires on your car, the tires on your car, just steal yourself the most uncomfortable thing. Tires on your car, the tires on your car will stay inflated for 40 years. Right? I mean, a hell of a long time. You can go to a junkyard and you can see a car from the 70s.

You can see a delorean. And you know what? It's tires are gonna be full. Possibly. Three out of four. Yeah, it may have a flat spot and be sun-wrotted, but there'll be air in there. There's air in them, okay?

But air mattress. Air mattress from Walmart that the homeless people are not allowed to sleep on. You fill it up, 10 seconds later. Psh, it's amazing. My fucking, I've L-4 in my spine is already on the ground. It's because the material is so shitty, it's actually porous.

It's not even leaking out of the valve. It's leaking out of the whole goddamn material. Yeah, and that wasn't the worst part of the camping trip there. By the time you wake up, of course, all 10 of you are being there. I should have you ever in the ass. Have you ever shipped off, but almost people are not allowed to have even the most uncomfortable. Right.

They have to sleep on defensive architecture. That's more comfortable. I think a pull raft is honestly better. Like, I don't even know why they sell them. They should be sued. They don't last for 10 seconds. The thing it's like anything 500 different choices, which one of them works? Oh, none of them. Only the most expensive one holds air for any length of time. Yeah, no, not what he mean work.

Define work. You can't steal them. Right. Have you ever have you ever shit an apply wood toilet before? I'm trying to think about that. Some you really got to do. Trips overseas. Really got to do before you die. It's like a piece of plywood and then with just like a whole cutout. It's a mix of, maybe a jammer or something. In the shape of a toilet.

Or just like square. In the shape of a toilet, centurically, I think. Is no, no lid or anything, it's all the lid. But if you leave the lid down, you're going to get, you know, piss all over it. Yeah. I have the lid up, right? And it's just a, there was a plywood toilet at this campsite. Because it's one of these like non-peppermint.

Going into a ground, right? Going into the ground, the, the metal militia guys took a break from doing meth out in the Indio Valley where we camping and managed to construct this rectangle of corrugated aluminum at lovecraftian angles. So no crooked, drilled into the ground and polished off this toilet. It's like a Vietnam torture fucking box. I thought there was gonna be metal, the end of the internet.

It's been there. I thought there would be Russian people. Childhood, I was proud of you, I'm not gonna give you 110 out there, the 100% humidity. Leave me out there for a day or two. Corrigated aluminum. It was the most, it was the most half-ass thing.

I'd ever seen, made out of corrugated aluminum. A plywood, a nice plywood top. You know, you don't wanna spring for, it's a shitter, right? So why spring for the extra, why spring for some like melanin or something that you could wipe down, maybe a plastic sheet or something, not melanin, what is that white stuff? Korean?

No, it's the shelf stuff, this, right there. The white shelf stuff. What is that white stuff? Korean? No, it's the shelf stuff. This right there. The white shelf stuff. What is that called? Masonite. Masonite, I don't know. I don't know. It's got that veneer on it that you could wipe down.

Nice, nice plywood top with a jigsawed crooked hole out of it that like that they made to have a pointy tip on it. So there's pistches soaked in. Yeah, sure. Fiddler soaked into wood. Baked into the wood. It's pissed soaked wood. And they've got unfinished,

that's fucking disgusting. Just thinking about it. They've got unfinished two by fours propping it up. So if you're hung over, bracing yourself on the two by fours, by the time you pull your hands away, you can't touch your penis again because you're just full of splinters.

Oh, God. Right? Yeah. And this thing like have a door. Oh, I'm trying to pick her. Here comes the best part. Imagine an airplane toilet. This is the toilet that I used all weekend.

Yeah. Imagine an airplane toilet, but only half as long. Oh, wow. So that your ass hangs not out of the toilet, but against a, uh, against a shower curtain that they screwed into the top. Oh, for so not even, you know, not even rent, not even spring for the extra rings to go across a dowel or something like that. It's what keeps the miners out of an old video store, the X-rated section, and screwed in.

So it's nice and hot on your back. Very nice. Boy oh boy, boy oh boy, I was taking a shit on that thing at dusk. And I just said, I'm not fucking with this thing, right? Cast the whole thing open. The whole thing open and saw the most beautiful sunset out in Palm Springs, India, the desert, right? All right. And stuff, conchemical contrails going across, making people gay.

Right. Sitting on that really made up, really made up for it. Isn't that just like a perfect, you know, picture, you know, representation of just the world in life. Yeah. Taking a fucking shit in the most disgusting thing, fucking ever. And then you see like this beauty. And you're like, yeah, you know, there's some of both. Yeah. Most disgusting toilet ever. But it was nice, I guess. I guess I can't be tripped. The flyers are still not delivered to my house. The Maddox funeral flyers.

Oh, God. Did I show you those? No. Let me see them. Let me see if I have them anywhere. This was, that was quite a, it was quite a service. It was quite a service. Yeah, it was quite a service, right?

Oh, that's great. Wouldn't that have been funny? Yes. Wouldn't that have been funny to have? No, I was like, fuck, I missed those. Did I even talk about this last week? Five hours. I ordered five hour rush, special career delivery service.

God, they'll be there in five hours, awesome. No, they're not gonna, they're not actually gonna be there. God. Next day, they're not gonna be the, hold on, I got more. I'm showing them on the video here. This was the inside. Look at that. I spent a lot of time on these.

Got a Maya, Angelo, poem. Yeah. That we didn't get to read when great souls die. The air around us becomes lightware, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's hilarious. Would have been really funny. Yeah. Who would have been? I guess. What a fucking sonic. That's hilarious. What have been really funny? Yeah. What have been? I guess

what the fuck and Sonic? That's so great. Well, whatever. It's over now. Another, you had another fuck up. Well, well, he's still dead. So we got that going for us. I got to head over here, which is nice. Speaking of fuck ups, juicy Smolettes and jail. Yeah. Right now. Yeah. Is he sharing a cellettes in jail. Yeah. Right now. Yeah. Is he sharing a cell with his attacker? Yeah. Sharing a cell with his attacker.

Yeah. Great. Yeah, he's in jail for like six months or something. Yeah, I didn't, I couldn't remember what the, what the verdict was. And the verdict is all, hey, crimes are fake. That's, that's what it means. That's, you know,

sorry, sorry everybody. He just, he was just so bad at it. Because he cast it, because his diversity casting. Yeah. That's why. Yeah.

Yeah. Amazon all these places casting, black people in white rolls. That's what happens. Yeah, whoa, go broke. I don't know. That's so bad. It's the little things. It's the happens. Get, whoa, go broke. I don't know. That's so good. It's the little things, it's the little things that are coming back to me now that the

pandemic's over in life is coming back. Yeah. It's the little things. Yeah. People suffering who deserve it. We can't get a name. I always want to see. Juicy going, juicy saying, everybody, I'm not going to kill myself.

Juicy going, juicy saying, everybody I'm not going to kill myself. It doesn't happen enough, but I really do like to see people who deserve it get theirs. And you just need one to the next. Do you understand? Like the government has their crisis. One, they got the COVID to the war. Bum, bum, bum, bullshit, bullshit. I need that every week. I need a juicy to go down. I need reddits. I need reddits furious, furious and angry gamer battalion.

The, you know, those redditors we talked about who were going to Ukraine. Uh, yes. I do. They're pretending to be mercenaries and shit or something. I guess one of the bases they were training at got blown up. Something. Do they actually go? Yeah. What's wrong with these people? I don't know, maybe it's like a lie.

I don't want to fall for it. They had to basically define a gun, right? To the, I mean, basically it's just fucking idiots. Who knows? Who know? What kind of person goes into some century long conflict wagging their dick around? What's up boys? Here comes a fucking cavalry or calvery. I don't know what one of person goes into some century long conflict wagging their dick around. What's up boys?

Here comes a fucking cavalry or cavalry. I don't know what one it is. Nobody who has any business there. Give me a gun. I mean, I think, I think kind of what's happening. What? What I can say is that I'm ready to knock Putin's boss Elon Musk says he wants to fight Putin. Why are these people? Holy fuck, in the ground.

Nougues now. I'm gonna sit on my toilet. I'm gonna sit on my plywood toilet. Watching a fucking nuclear bomb and scinerate the entire Los Angeles County and go, fucking awesome. Yeah. What I'm seeing is there's people online, I think what's what I'm seeing is there's there's people online. I think in these in these groups who have a lot of them have, you know, some self awareness like there's a lot of people who go, well, I don't know anything about going, you know, put it in my own, my own boots on the ground and and going and fighting in a war or something like that. But then there's, I think some of those people don't realize just how far from reality

they actually are. It's like, oh no, I'm like a couple degrees from, yeah, I could, it's like, no dude, you're not even on the same fucking planet. Yeah, it's like, if that guy, it's like that, if that furry guy was drinking out of the cum-bong and then he realized that he didn't really like it like halfway through. That's what the, that's what the redditors getting their asses blown up. It's just amazing. How could it go?

What's the, what's 200 blown up redditors? What do they call it? We could start. Is this for, did they actually go over there and then? People are really going over there. They got, I think, I don't know. Everything's a fucking stuff. The Russians, you deserve whatever you fucking get.

If you're, you just gotta get killed. If you're that kind of, fucking retards, man. What are you doing? I don't know, what are people doing? You know what the worst thing about this whole thing is that fucking Putin. So by the way, we lost a Russian patron, patrony, because he said he can't be a patron anymore,

because the banks, because all the banks shut off Russia, he's like, well, I can't be a patron anymore, because if I can visa Mastercard, shut off my entire country. So, it's all great. So, I'm suffering again. Right. Again.

Yes. Again, it's me. I'm getting raped at the gas pump. Again, it's me. Yep. I'm getting raped at the gas pump. My cash is evaporating. And now my income is getting fucked over. Again. It's putting your livelihood in jeopardy.

My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My livelihood. My. You're not. Once again.

No. And the worst thing is to add insult to injury. There's worse than that. There's worse. But it started. All of this shit started. It's probably not even gonna be, not even gonna care tomorrow.

It's been two weeks. Look, it's been two fucking weeks of this. Sure. Okay, we're done. It's permanent now. New cycle. Sorry. Right.

On to the next one. There's no more stories to get out of it. If something's been going on for two weeks, that's it. Pretty much. Doesn't like the US Open last for two weeks. What are the Olympics last for two weeks? I don't know. It's two weeks. That's it. Yeah. No more stuff. That's all anybody's attention span is. If that. Yeah. It started during women's history's month. Which is March, right? Oh, it is Women's History Month is March. Yeah, if you wouldn't think they need a whole month for it,

right? Just like a half day, day and a half, Women's History. So now all of the, all of the ads, all of the military ads are now all about women in the fucking military, because it's Women's History Month. So they all had all the women's in the military ads are now all about women in the fucking military because it's women's it's women's history month so they all had all the women's in the military ads lined up and then war were declared mhm like well full on ads like it's fucking

rosy the riveter stuck around with a helicopter what is the big w on that one for woman maintained so we can stay far away from it. What is going on with like, I mean, Adidas, you know, like putting, putting, you know, bovine models out, you know, doing yoga. It's like, what's going on?

Is it Adidas? Wait, I have Adidas. Are we doing foul watch already? You know, I have an Adidas story. Today in fact news. Well, let me see it. I'm, let me try to find it here. Typing, typing, typing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, here it is. Oh yeah, here it is. Adidas with the fat black ladies of Earth. Here's their slogan, Sean. Impossible, no, I'm possible. Got it, I see what they did. You see it? I'm like overnight.

Yeah. Look at this. Those apostrophes are powerful. Yeah, I'm trying to find, damn it. Somebody sent in a good one, hold on. Let me see if I can find it. I can't go on until I see it. I'm possible, Adidas, I'm possible, add.

Yeah, there we go. What do you know? Right up top. Mm. What the fuck is this? What is that pose? What is going on there? I think that's not what I want to know.

About this. On like a guy about to punch the ground, like a fucking volcano is going to shoot out of it. She's doing a malice. She get like hit with something. Like the she got it with the bill from our dinner. Yeah, that's a faint. Uh oh.

I'm possible. In case you were wondering if someone this size is possible. I'm possible. In case you were wondering if someone this size is possible, I'm possible. Yeah, oh god, sadly, I'm possible. Okay. Here's another one. That's such a weird pose. I don't know, maybe she's just wearing it's, it's got so bad that I think just the chunky girl is, is, uh, like, they're all doing, oh, come on.

Now I can't, I can't look at that. Some kind of a Down syndrome thing. I don't know on, now I can't look at that. Some kind of a Down syndrome thing, I don't know. I don't want to look at that. It's the Victoria Secret catalog and then if it's, I mean, it's, it's, yeah. We can't, we'll get to that later. Yeah. Let me see what else I have here.

It's time to get back to work. Did you hear that call to get back to work? No, I've been thinking people should be fucking... Get back to the office. I mean, just like Biden says, time for Americans to get back to work and fill our great downtowns again instead of working from home. Nobody likes that. What the fuck?

So you're telling me that gas is $10 a gallon. Yeah. And now I think I know it's time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. $10 a gallon. Now it's time for me to drive downtown. So that the companies that have been raping me for two years don't have to default on their commercial real estate. Well, that's how it is. What is it even exists? Right. Yeah. It's people do not want to fucking go back to the office. Oh, you.

I realized that. And they're gonna. That's the worst thing is they're gonna. Yeah, I realized. Well, I was going to say I realized that even though I love my alone time and I would prefer not to be around a bunch of people. I cannot, I could not work if I had to sit looking at the same walls every day. I would go fucking nuts.

I've been lucky that I've basically- Oh, like a cubicle. Oh, no, just my fucking, my work room. Oh, yeah, okay. I need to get out and go to, even if I'm the only one at the studio, which I'm not. I mean, there's people there, but it's not like there's 50 people there. But it's like, I need to go someplace.

I can't, my girlfriend, fucking loves working from home, sits in the same, I mean, she might go the whole week without like getting in her car. It's fucking crazy. I would fucking murder. I don't even understand how,

I guess you just, you hit the people on the bottom, like slowly they get eaten. Well, so like if you got a 10% raise last year, good for you, right? Cause now you're still making the same amount of money, but if you got anything less than a 10% raise, you're less, you're fucked. You're making less.

And now you got to drive to work, and that trip is going to cost you twice as much for no real reason. Yeah. I don't know how, you know, there's been a lot of pushback against companies that I've heard of. And some are actually sort of like relenting

where they're like, well, we've also got this other avenue we can go, we can try and see how it works. And people, some people, some people so far have been kind of getting their way, who don't want to go back. I'm a little bit surprised. Yeah. Of course, not in all, not in all industries.

I think one of the first people back was the, the, um, the Wall Street companies wanted all their fucking people and the financial people who work like fucking 80s, uh, 80 hours a week when they're like, when they're brand new, they want to those people fucking in the building so they could watch their asses. Here was, let me see if I have this right. And this is where, this is the explanation. Oh yeah, I was saying earlier about the propaganda. It's just funny that, like Russia is paying TikTok influencers to, to, to save about like their, to stay there stuff, talk about their, you know, not, not war. Mm-hmm.

And then the White House, did you see this? The White House is having our influencers call it and like giving them a, giving, giving them like the real story, right? Yeah. Not that there are no chemical weapons labs in Ukraine. We're just like looking at chemicals. Like, we're not weapons. Okay, we're just looking at bio hazards.

Right. Don't worry. Like, you guys just did this like two years ago. Two years ago. Oh, you mean just, you just fucked up with bio weapons. Can you just shut them down for a little bit? Anyway. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So the White House has our influencers call it.

And you think even if you're fair, we're fighting influencers with influencers. Yes, what the fuck, dude? What the fuck is exactly, and if you know, why should anybody respect any of these leaders who make decisions like this? I don't know. No, not one of these.

It's a criminal syndicate. Not one of these motherfuckers is worthy of fucking my vote. So you'd think being extremely charitable, like, well, you know, they're just telling about free how freedom is important and rushes illegal for them to do this. They're telling the influencers to explain how inflation and gas prices are boot and fall.

Like you gotta be fucking kidding me. What? Here's Pelosi explaining. Right. I'm going to reach the kids explaining what inflation is. Every one of these people is fucking morally, an ethically fucking bankrupt. I know they're listening. Here you go.

Info monitor said, actually, it total of over 20 years is a fucking 90. We were having this discussion, it's important to disfell some of those who say, well, is the government saying, no, it isn't. Yes, it is. The government's only to do the exact reversion, reducing the national debt

is not inflationary. How? Yeah, I don't know. How does that? No. The government spending is doing the inflation how i don't know how does that no the government spending is there doing the reverse it's reducing the national that i have what i don't know i might it's directly comes you got directly where it comes from what the fuck are you

talking about i don't know uh... well anyway christ here's one for you. Some interesting article I read about. One of the four black CEOs on the Fortune 500. That guy's black. black. Is this is on C. This is on C and B. C. I'm C and B. C. Wait, wait, I thought was a joke. I mean, you tell me what's funny about this. See, like a like a black, great grandparent. I mean, what that matter? I mean, it's wider than fucking sees, wider than Chevy Chase. That's right. Joe, to me, one of the four Black CEOs on the Fortune 500 is secret for success.

You have to tell your story. That's crazy. Do you think that's crazy? Is the CEO of the bank? Look at the bank. What do you, what do you mean? You know what we think,

when you say Black CEO, you expect to see a Black man. I know he's like, what do you mean you're in lock your car door? Have you saw this guy? Oh god. Oh god. It's like white is guy in history like mixed race ancestry. There's no way that one of his parents is black and one is white. There's no fucking way. It's that reason. one of his parents is black and one is white. There's no fucking way. It's that reason. Over time, he's that he's learned to lean into his own personal story as his secret weapon,

sharing it with employees. So he sits as employees, that's the way he's black. I'm black. No, lightest skin of his siblings. He's like the jerk. Look at this. Yeah, just lie, always lie.

That's fucking lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. I got to know, man, I, Renee Jones, I gotta look him up. I gotta see how far fucking back that is. Uh, they shut down the, they shut down the mon, the McDonald's in, in Moscow. Do you see, do you remember when McDonald's, I remember when it opened, me too. I remember when it opened. It was a big deal. I remember they've said they had to teach the employees to smile and like be personable.

I remember that because they're just not, it's very like Kurt. And yeah, it was like they wanted a certain, it's like Disney, right? They wanted a certain face to the, to the company. You got to shut your, you know, making people happy about being in McDonald's, right? Right. Uh, shut it down. McDonald's shut it down. It was a bad kind of in bed, like the, the, the, the ball pit, you know, for like the kids playground and stuff. It was like filled with like, gray balls, unused grenades from the Afghan conflict and the, you know, they lost a few, but they shut it down.

What I think is funny about that is like, they can't just keep being, they can't just keep doing it. Like, like, I was like, hey, always, we're shutting them down. They can't go like,, they can't just keep doing it. Like, because I was like, hey, always be, always shutting them down. They can go like, well, how many are in Russia? I don't know. At least one. Yeah. They can't be like, no, we're going to just keep making them. Yeah, we're going to have just keep running. We're going to, yeah, we're going to keep doing it. Okay. And then the guys that bring them stuff, they're going to keep doing it too. Yeah. Like they need, they need permission from the company to do it. Anyway, it is sad.

I remember when it went in too. And then the Soviet Union fell apart like a year after that. What did it seem like? It was because of McDonald's. I'm pretty sure. Probably. Yeah, there's, there's, there's, there right about the West. I mean, it sits down the whole goddamn thing.

Just kind of did. What happened? It was like, oh yeah. And that's because McDonald's was there. And they were like, oh, fuck this stuff. These guys, these burgers are good. Yeah. All this other stuff sucks.

McDonald's went in when it was a Soviet Union. Yeah. Yeah, I think you should get it. No, I think you're right. 90. I think you're like 91 in the Soviet Union. I believe so. Yeah. So I guess in maybe 40 years, it'll fall again.

We're gonna put like space McDonald's in there and knock it over again. I don't know. But it's bummer, that's the bummer, an end of an empire. Oh shit. Did you see that Florida pasta, you have to say gay bill?

All the time, oh no, don't say gay bill. Do you see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not allowed to say gay bill all the time. Oh, no, don't say gay bill. Do you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not allowed to say gay. Mm-hmm. Any more? You can't just can't say it. No.

No, let's say. So California, pasta, you have to say gay bill. All right. So teachers every day, they have to say, they can only say gay. It's like they, in a clicking language that they have to teach math now. Three gays plus five gays is a hell of a good time. That's the new curriculum for California. Right. What if I have two gays divided by a gay and a half?

What does that make me? Right. Somebody stands up. Transgender. F-sler. Hi. Is it annoying to me that everyone's so upset? It's like, wait a minute, I have not been able to say gay since like 1995.

So you think about? So yeah, so fucking gay. You can say gay. Not the way I want to say it. I know. That's right. Yeah. Can you believe that they can't say gay?

Yeah, I've been not saying it for like fucking 25 years. Right. Sure. I can say it respectfully. Even though gay guys right in my face will say, I don't care if he's a it and then say it. I'm like, yeah, well, best not to just get in the habit again, okay? Not the way I want to say it. Can you believe you can lose your job if they say,

okay? Yeah, I can. So so can everyone my age? You just, is this the the teacher thing or whatever? Yeah. Did you, did you happen to look into what the law was? No, no, I just had to bunch of celebrities like freaking out about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The gaze, all the celebrities were just saying, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, I was like, okay, that's cool. Everybody's a fucking four year old. Like that's the, that's the most constructive thing. That's gonna do it. Yeah, that's gonna do it. Just, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg the most constructive thing. That's good to do it. Yeah, that's gonna do it.

Just, Wow. Well, you better not set foot in Florida. I wonder if you could, if we took our best guy at swearing, like the end, like, you know, aft slurs, whatever, like, yeah, like put it up against their guy, but the best of saying screaming gay over and over. I would like to see that paper view.

I'd yeah, that I would watch that. Sure. Cause you know, it's not fixed, right? We're not, not yet. Right, right, right. Boxing match, boring, fixed MMA, gay. Don't want to see it. Celebrities boxing dog shit.

Like the refs don't know if they can't ref because they're out of control. Yeah. It's not like, I I mean guys are turning around constantly. Yeah. There's no rules. So everything anyway, give me the slur off. The slur off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see those town hall meetings where like leftist people just come in and start screaming and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, I've seen little things like that. And the conservatives are just like trying to have a meeting, like they're any better, right? Well, I was just talking normal. I've seen the reverse too, of course.

But you need to get at them together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I looked at what the law was. And it prevents teachers from bringing up, from initiating lessons about like sex and whatever, identity, gender identity, for grades K through three. That's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, that seems pretty reasonable. I don't know. It doesn't. It doesn't seem to do your lesson without dropping like, okay. K through three. I mean, there's a team in the alphabet. You can't learn other. Yeah. Yeah. If gay, many other things, right? They're learning other things like A's for anus, B's for butt plugs. Yeah. That was their lesson before. C's for cock in your mouth. I just don't see. See you for cock in your mouth.

I just don't see, I'm thinking back to when I was that age. I don't see really that any kids, myself or any other kids who would have been concerned about that. I know things are fucking hard. I'm in a regard and show away. I know things are way different now, but it's not like, I can't believe that kids are going like, boy, I really want to ask this question. Like, you know, I mean, it's still allowed to do that. That's the funniest

part. There's no way to go like, you know, I got to post just, yeah, why do they, how come they're not banging ever? Yeah. I'm gonna teach you how to explain like, well, you know, I haven't looked at it. Why did they move in after the first day? I got two talk to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him.

I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him.

I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. I talked to him. every night. And talking about interesting things and all their interests are our houses, our house is beautiful. House is a amazing house on the lake.

Vacation house. You know, and they have friends who are different sex couples. Right. Guys always look so fucking exhausted. Yeah. They teach. Man, they make lots of jokes about suicide. We eat well. Yeah. Yeah. Can you answer me? Can you answer me that question? Yeah. Oh, they can answer that question. That's legal. Gotcha. Yeah. I haven't I haven't looked into it. I've heard just heard a yeah. A lot of a lot of people are excited. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say gay. Did you see Pete Butt judge said that if you run out of food, you could just buy electric food?

No, he said Russia's gonna have some, there might be some electric food. Yeah, he said, if, look, there's gonna be wheat shortage probably, cream, mixed oil, wheat, Russia makes a lot of like fertilizer and stuff. Run out of food, food prices get too high, just buy electric food. No problem. Don't get any, what is it? What is get too high, just by electric food. No problem.

What is electric food? You know, he said it about cars. Gas is too high, should have bought an electric car. Oh, got you a shut up, Captain hindsight. Yeah, right. What should we do, we run out of food? Yeah, electric food. I get a car, okay.

Do you remember every time there's like a disaster, or even like just not a disaster, the whole energy grid shuts down in California. Like, remember how every summer they're like, hey, don't run your power too much. Rolling blackouts. And yeah, don't run your air conditioner. Yeah. How's it going to go with electric cars? conditioner. Yeah. How's it going to go with electric cars? Like everybody, oh, don't, don't, leave your house. I want to go, no, no, you can't do that. We're going to be dropped. You got to stay in your house. Right? Is everybody like stupid to think that this is, we're all doing, we're all going electric, we're getting forced to do electric cars now. Yeah, I guess the move. Sure. Now that we're made now that now that thankfully US

companies teamed up to remake the Soviet Union by cutting them off from literally everything. Microsoft, well, you're not getting any more of our stuff. Not getting any more movies or you're not seeing Sonic 2. Okay, where were the Soviet Union again? I guess? I mean, what do you want us to do? Well, I have to get some countries to be the Soviet Union again.

Yeah, well, they got, I mean, they got China. Yeah. Go be a little bit. Yeah. I mean, well, right? What's the union if you're there? If you're there. Okay, well, yeah, sure. Where the Soviet Union again.

Right, I don't know. Right. It's like we're rocky-foring them. Yeah., yeah, sure. Cause we're the Soviet Union. Yeah, right. I don't know. It's like we're rocky foring them. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Like we're making them what they did to rocky and rocky for.

We're doing back to them. Go, you guys don't get McDonald's anymore. You got to eat sticks and stuff. Eat, borscht, whatever. You don't get hulu. Mm-hmm. You don't get the internet. You got to get like printout stuff and send it to you.

Right, Rocky Ford training out in the wilderness. You gotta draw porn on a ground with a stick and a dirt. Yeah, they got off from porn. Yeah, oh boy. You gotta draw brother and sister in a best porn yourself or how fat is your mom? Look at the fatest lady ever. You gotta draw that shit out.

Well, whatever, bi-electric food. Good luck. What else do I go here? I don't want to talk about that. The gay thing, that's pretty funny. Okay, I'm going to read some comments. We have a special caller calling. Do we?

Guy, Coca-Cola, Road Rage 299. Hey, Dick, I was listening to the new episode. I heard you talk about the Coca-Cola, road rage 2.99. Hey, Dick, I was listening to the new episode. I heard you talk about the Coca-Cola smell halfway through it. It was me and my friend. Wait, what? I don't remember that. You don't remember when I have some kind of supernatural sense of smell when it comes to Coca-Cola.

Halfway through the show, I was like, somebody's drinking Coke. Boy, I really do not remember drinking a weird, they're drinking it through their nose. Okay. I smell it. Apparently was this guy confesses. Oh, is he like belching? I don't know.

Belching up huge fucking coke clouds, for drifting toward the stage, covering it in a pole. Maybe it could have helped Tony from hack the moves. Reverend Scott says a little caffeine. Yeah, get him out of that fucking edible stupor. A lot of caffeine. Man, I looked over at him and I was like, this guy is fucking baked. His eyes were, God damn man.

His eyes were the size of regular eyes. Does he have big eyes? No, he's Italian. So he's always like smiling, you know, like, I don't know. He's always smiling like this. Oh no, I'm just saying he was like fucking... He's always smiling like Chef Weirder. He was fucking slitted, man.

Like he was like, ugh. Let's see here. This is from Reverend Scott. Can you start asking me into the microphone? He's like, you think everybody could tell I was fucked up or I'm gonna, you think everybody could tell it. It's like dude, you're talking through into the mic. Because he figured out he didn't want a yell.

So you know he could because I was right. I was like right next to him. I think he's thinking anybody can tell them fucked up right now. Yeah. It was something like for you. He didn't say it loud. I was like he's you're right into the mic. You know, Vito said that he thought people were having trouble hearing me.

So he would repeat everything I was saying. Oh really? So on the recording it's him repeating a lot of what I'm saying. Oh, gotcha. I did not, I just down and dirtyed that fucking thing, like just ran it through some processing and I fixed, I fixed all the parts that were that I could see on the way. For more just clip to shit. Every one of them was vetoed. Every one of them. We sent so little level into that, because it was so janky the way we recorded that. I just was like, well, gain it up,

I'll make it louder later. We'll just barely just get a little bit into that zoom because there's no limiting going into it. There's nothing to protect for, and it was like, somehow, veto managed to blow it out in like 10 different places. You know what, that fucking guy would do? Every time we do a show, in here, I say,

okay, can you give me like a love? Can you talk it in the mic? And you're like, he'll go about three feet off the mic. He goes, oh, hey, this is Vito. I'm just here, welcome to the drive time. I'm here with the Vito. And then when the show starts, he goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yep. Well, I've learned that with just actors in general, you know, you got to build in for, you got to build in for the performance.

It's like they'll always read like, oh yeah, yeah, give me a kind of a loud read blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, I mean, the real, the A people do, you know, they say something like it's, I'll say something like all pedophiles are bad and go, wow, there's not a funny box. That I really get it with, get it with kids like Maxell, the maxel commercial. But I'll say something like all pedophiles are bad and go That I really get it with kids like max sell the max alcohol commercial Yeah, people like 90% of the audience doesn't remember that Well, they should yeah, that's what's fucking things up. Mm-hmm

Okay Reverend Scott, oh, so I disavow this whole segment. Peace and love, Reverend Scott. He gave us a thing to play, a presentation that he made. I love his stuff. Me too. I'm glad he's still a listener. It puts me in a medical mood.

Several times. He's really fantastic. Yeah. Have you met him too? I think so. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, where were, he was at one of the more local ones, wasn't he?

Yeah, you know, it's crazy is I saw him at the show and then I saw him on Grindr later. Oh God. I have Grindr installed to catch guys being gay. Right. That's what I, right. I don't think he does. Do you remember the movie?

Yeah. Because I have it on mine. I'm got you busted. Remember the other guys? Yeah. The movie The on mine. I'm got you busted. Remember the other guys? Yeah. The movie the other guys, how Mark, like Mark Wahlberg learned to dance like all fucking crazy to make fun of the kids who danced. Yeah.

He's like, wait, so how gay they looked. Yeah. Yeah. That's his worries. I'm not saying that. Okay. Here you go. Reverend Scott, the Dixia of 300.

I haven't heard that. He's over there. I'm here in that. It's over there. Dick and Sean, this is Reverend Scott. And you know why I'm here today? Why? Well, mostly to congratulate you both on episode 300. Thank you.

Also, to think about what we've all learned from listening to the Dick show all this time. I think that's a great idea. I guess the most obvious one being a lot of facts from Sean's animal corner. Sean, do you realize that every time you tell us about some obscure art to creature, let me tell you about fairy penguins? Do the new whales have the largest penis? We're all becoming better people for it. I never thought of that. And Dick, every time you did Fat Watch, we learned a lot about our own health and well-being.

Just speaking for myself alone, I lost 80 pounds listening to this show. Others have lost even more than that. I think that's a pretty big deal. You're right. Listening to you talk every week for hours helps us know a bit more about the real you, your wants, your dreams, your desires. Man, I really love to see a soft weiner right now.

Honestly, that's completely right. Soft weiner. Soft weiner. And for me personally, I learned I have a real friend and Dick and Sean, for instance, Dick. When we met for the first time at the Who Are These Podcast Live Show, I remember like it was yesterday. Nice to finally meet you, Dick.

How dare you touch my penis! You're out here! You touch my penis! Well, I take it back. Can't take that shit back. I've been a handshake on this a while. I've been a while. When he heard about our encounter.

I was, I wasn't surprised, but I was like, yeah, he would do that. But it goes beyond meeting in real life. If I haven't fucked up in a minute. I love it. I love it. Now that we're good friends, I can give you guys a call anytime I want. I'm always calling up Dick when I need some advice. Hey, Dick, I need some advice about women.

I'm gay. Goodbye. Or when I'm feeling a little bit down on the dumps, I call Sean, and that always cheers me right up. Hey Sean, it's Reverend Scott. Dick, give me your number. Damn it. You want to hang out after the show?

I deserve a little Sean time. You don't fucking deserve to be in my presence. Fuck off! That's right. You're what you're saying. You're not worthy of being in my fucking presence, you shit. Oh Sean, I love the relationship and how it's blossomed into a beautiful friendship. That's a big stretch.

And maybe after hearing this, Sean will no longer be blocking my phone number. Are you really? Yeah, really. And I also love the fact that you guys love me record all our conversations. That's something real friends do. Real friends, like the three of us. We fucking hate you. Everybody was a good old man. Fucking hates you. Thanks for your joke. I love your joke too,

buddy. Oh, he's obviously retarded. Like, look at him. Wow, would you look at the time? I've rambled on far along enough. I'm sure you have a big episode 300 plan. So I'll let you get back to your flash. So here's the episode 300, and I hope you do another 300 episodes and more. I think we're done. And as always, peace and love, guys. Thank you, Reverend Scott. Thank you, Reverend Scott. Oh, do you wanna do Fat Watch?

You know I do. Ha ha ha. No, no, I feel bad. Has he been to, I can't remember whether I, all right. That's what you got at. I know that you were obsessing about that.

Yeah, it's supposed to be a telegraph. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. Tick, tick, tick, tick. There's just one tick. It's ticking the whole way. Hey, you had me going up. You know, you've talked about the ticking before.

He made that, he made that to fuck with you. I know. Yeah. Another one, yeah. A day and what the fuck? It's at the end. You've talked about it many times. There was ticking through that first one. That first one you played. And then there's one more. No ticking.

I'm not crazy. It's not him. You want to hear it again? Yeah, no, I bet on that one. You have to get it. I'll play it for you again. It's a button on this thing. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to play it for you again. It's a button on this thing. Yeah. That's not there. Hang it. I don't play this back. I'll play it back. You can't stop it. All right.

You can't. I think you're hearing things. I think it's obviously. I can't wait until, and I don't know if anybody caught it. Well, I can ask Chad, I think so. The first one. Is this the end of his thing?

They said the end. I don't know, like there was that ticking. That's what I wanted. All right, all right, all right, all right. Thank you, thank you, thank you, whatever it's got. For the, what do you call that, retrospective? Yeah, kind of a, yes. Gay jokes, what do we call that?

We're in California, right? Be careful. Yeah. Okay, let's see, somebody wants to call in here. Let me see if I can give them a call. Just to congratulate you. Oh yeah. I didn't come up with any, oh, shit.

I got it. I got it. Oh, I guess he's not, all right. Well, he's not answering. Okay. Calling you, calling you ready. Well, he, yeah. Calling you ready.

All right, it's got. Smallest face in the universe, happy. Perfect. Hello. Hello, Dick. How are you? Good. How are you doing, Chris? I'm pretty good. I'm at the park next door to my house. So hopefully my audio is good. It sounds okay. No, it sounds a little better. Oh, we have fun. It sounds fantastic. You sound fantastic. Okay. Yeah, I see I'm fantastic. Fantastic. You sound like that. Okay. Yeah, I see I'm fantastic. Always. Always. Yeah. So do you see? Do you still have a Facebook page? What happened to it? Right in with the questions.

Again, no, my Facebook page got deleted. I think because I was talking about I got and I got attacked by an antifa guy at a Netflix protest. I got my head thrown into a homeless defensive architect, like a big concrete ball. And I was talking about him on Facebook to try to figure out who he was and all of my accounts got deleted. I didn't know that.

You're my site antifa. Yes, I do. I wish they would go to Ukraine and you crane and fight the actual not sees that are fighting this war but they've seemed to have disappeared i like that the mayor put into win the war actually do you agree with what he does or what uh... yes i would like anything that threatens the uh... american uh... hegemon he had you money on earth i am but i'm for them

yeah yeah yeah unfortunately it's earth, I'm for them. Yeah, yeah. I'm full cheese, I'm full cheese, still pro vaccine, aren't you? Well, no, I'm not vaccinated. Okay. No, I just wanted to use this time to thank can't you. I just wanted to use this time to thank can't you, forgive me a line for purchasing

an air conditioner, or finally got it by the way. Oh! Cantillion's gave you money to buy an air conditioner? Yeah, he lent me a money, so I'm so slightly paying it off. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, that was nice of him. Are you gonna restart the podcast with him?

Because he gave you that long? I don't know. Show, do you think I should? I think if there's one thing I know is that everybody loved that the Chris can't cast and that they would listen to it if you guys did it again. How can anyone forget that? How can everyone if anyone forget that? I don't know, I think, I mean at least until you're done paying off the loan, I think that would be fun for you guys. Yeah, yeah.

So I don't think Cantillians is a bad guy after all, really easy. No, he's great. No, he's great. He's great. Cantillians is, Cantillians is such a good guy. He can't even get laid. He's so nice.

Women don't want to be around him. That's strange, really. You should take some tips from you. Yeah. You should help him, you should help him get laid on your show Really do you think I'm doing better than him? I mean, yeah, probably are you still banging yours? That I don't know but I'll get into that probably the next episode, but Boy, listen, do you know much about Ted Bundy?

I've got to I've got this big fascination about him that I can't get him out of here. Oh really? Yeah. Some of them to look up to, huh? You can't get Ted Bundy out of your head? Yeah, I've just got this absolutely fascination. I can't start researching about him and stuff like that, you know? Yeah, what about him speaks to you?

Well, I looked up a couple facts actually. Interesting. Did you know that Ted Bunney's child or hiring was haunted? It wasn't. It was. It was haunted. It was not haunted. There's no such thing as being haunted. H haunted. You mean don't you believe in ghosts? No, how do you? Yeah, I guess I do. You believe in ghosts, but you don't believe in vaccines? So are you telling me that you don't believe that houses get haunted or ghosts? You don't believe in that?

Like spirits? Yeah, no. Where the fuck is there a ghost? Apparently, apparently there some like contracted cleaning up his house and apparently they saw all these letters, um, was sold as printing and they saying leave or leave or go away or something like that. Have you ever seen a ghost? No. Do you want to? No. Why, really?

Why do you believe in ghosts? Have you never seen one? I don't know. I'll just watch these YouTube videos about, you know these, you know, these Catholic priests who do exorcisms? Do you know what their exorcism is? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Do you believe in ghosts? They're fun. No, fuck no. I don't believe. I don't believe. I first of all, I don't believe if if exorcisms were real, I don't think priests would do them for free. I mean, let's start there. They charge for weddings. So no, and they're also exercising the wrong people if demons are around. They seem to they seem to only happen to poor, the absolute poorest people in shittles where everyone's retarded.

So no, I don't believe in exorcisms. And the second fact about Ted Bunney is that he decapitated 12 of his victims, Sadden and Kate and Miss Ivan As. And you like that part? And he put a watch for the baby of a movie and he put apparently put lipstick and the customer stuff that's pretty gross. But you like that part? Or it's stuck with you.

Cutty body parts off of you, y'all. I guess that was my favorite past summer long, did I? Was it? Yeah, I want. Oh, yes. Aren't you seeing a psychiatrist now? Yeah, how's that going? I mean, I was doing quite well.

I mean, maybe you know, there's a bit of a difference because I was on a cliff for me, but I came off that because it was, I was gaining too much weight. So he put me on, he put me on pro's deck and apparently that's helping me with losing weight. So that's good. Sean, that's what, well, that's good, right? It's not, it's not very often that any of those help you lose weight. Some are just not known for gaining weight.

Yeah. You can't, I mean, there's some, some of them that can, you know, I've guessed some people have lost many, you started thinking about Ted Bundy. When he went on the pro's act. I don't know. I don't know. The reason why he came into my head was,

I, three acquaintances, I came across this video, this, you know how you achieved such as video clips and this one randomly came up and this video randomly came up with my YouTube suggestions and I watched it and that's how I got to know about 10 Bunty. So you two turned you into a serial killer. Yeah. And we're waiting for that first lawsuit. So you think he's guilty, is that right?

Ted Bundy, I think he bragged about it. Yeah. Yeah. But so why did he represent himself? Why did he try to convince the judge to not give him the death penalty? Why did he actually try and argue with his way out of it if he was guilty?

This is what I don't really understand. I have for attention because prove he was smarter than everybody. That's kind of the, yeah. What most people have concluded is that, why do you think he did? So you think he was innocent because he argued? No, no. He was, he was going to, you're right,

he did it for attention. So yeah. Yeah. He should have had a podcast, don't you think? It could be a lot easier way to get attention. Well, he would now. Yeah. It was a pretty, it was a pretty charismatic guy.

I hear them talking. He would have, he would have been pretty fun on a podcast. Well, anybody can be charismatic when they're dragging, you know, 20 murders behind them. Everybody wants to know what you have to say. True. Guys, shitting and apply with toilet, you have to put a little more into it, right? So I reckon you just got high off killing women, eh? What do you think?

Well, come on. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want that recorded. Got high off killing women. Yeah. Maybe if Tony had gotten high off that, rather than not a boy. He made a little better showing.

And I come across your Instagram and I saw you playing a piano with your golden Leprador. Is that correct? Yeah, I play piano. Yeah. And it's I have one of you had your golden Leprador for like a year. Your audio is kind of windy. Yeah, it's yeah Yeah, I'm in the park. Yeah, I know. Yeah, maybe well, start your show. You think you're going to start your show back up with Cantillians? Yeah, probably. I'll just have to talk to my bad ass. Okay. And you want to congratulate us on our 300th episode? Yeah, this is the key we once again, graduate.

Big shot. I think my three hundred. Oh, good. What you got him on, please. Chris, we want to congratulate Nick Shardick, Master of the 300K. Good, would you put him on, please? We're going to go because your audio is all fucks with the wind. Thank you for calling in. Are you saying to me you can't understand what I'm saying? Well, it's getting windy. The wind doesn't hardly listen to. Yeah, no worries.

Okay, you can turn. Bye. Bye. Stop looking at Ted Bondi's. Okay. There he goes. There he goes. So that's when you think he's he said he had a psychiatrist. Oh my god, finally, the psychiatrist turned him on to Ted Bondi. Yeah. Here's someone who should really resonate with you. God damn it. A small space in the universe. Happy 300. Hey, Dick and Sean, thanks for not killing yourselves for 300 episodes. really resonate with you. God damn it. A smallest face in the universe. Happy 300. Hey, Dick and Sean, thanks for not killing yourselves

for 300 episodes. To celebrate this, I made you a little present out of solid gold. But due to inflation, turned out to be about a tenth of the width of a Mexican hair, see attached image, somehow the face inexplicably shrunk even more in the process. Sorry for that.

Keep up the spirit. Signed a science. Look at this, Sean. This is a nano reconstruction of the logo. Yeah, and gold. Gold is more malleable at the atomic level. I guess this is five micro meters. It's 15 micro meters across. That's a millionth of a millionth of a meter. That's tiny. That's very cool, man. Thank you. I don't know what this other stuff says here.

HIV, it looks like. I think that's HIV. HIV, okay. Very cool, man. Thank you. Science. Goddamn. Tracking dog poop with the...

Tracking dog poop with DNA. Subt you're a tracking dog poop with DNA. Subtick and jump. I found this flyer hanging on the door handle to my apartment. I thought it might be of interest to you. Apparently the building management is going to have everybody send in the DNA of their dog, which will be used to determine

who's leaving dog shit everywhere. Are they what? Are they paying for the test? I think they're paying for the flyer. Let's see here. To see who's leaving dogs should have agreed. I did not know this was an issue, and yet here we are. Am I alone in thinking this is a psychotic response?

I don't have a dose. And I'm still offended at this notion. Check out the images and go fuck yourself. No, I think this is a bit. This is just something you post because stupid people will think it's, they'll pick up their shit. Yeah, they'll pick up their shit.

There's no Poo Prince FAQ. That can't be Poo Prince.com. That cannot be real. Yeah, I'm skeptical, but Poo Prince.com. It is a bit or like a DNA solution for dog waste. So you can they set up a fake site like Calico pants.com for no. For distribulants, our goal is to increase responsible pet

ownership through. This has got to be a bit. There's no way how it works. You print this shit out and then post it around DNA tests, just scarry. Yeah, scarry. Each dog's genetic profile is registered, use Puprin's way sample collection to collect a nickel sized, nah, I don't believe it.

Is this, so this is like for like landlords and never, just whatever, like a prank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't believe, I don't buy it. It goes a long way in this world. I don't buy it. I'm watching that Elizabeth Holmes duck, like drama series.

Yeah. Whatever, you know that girl who said she could test like a million things with one drop of blood that you put in there. Oh, oh, oh. She got a revolutionized. She up front to the storefront. She's like the girl Steve Jobs.

She was on the most 30 under 30 for so many years billion dollar America's youngest female Wearing that fucking turtle neck talking all weird. Oh, I'm a little bit We've shown a little bit of her on the show before yeah, it made fun of her the whole time Like, ah, there's no fucking way. Seems too fantastic. One drop, like, there's no way.

I just don't buy it. And then it turned out it was all lies and a bunch of old men lined up to sucker dick because she's a cute girl in a turtle neck. I don't buy it, but I don't know, maybe it was offensive song. Hey, dick, imagine playing a song so offensive that you lose your job. And you're, I don't, I don't buy it, right? It's great policy. Putin, ready to crane. I don't buy it. Something, something, somebody probably did something.

You know, yeah, very rarely do we, for no reason, very rarely do we not victim blame a little bit. I mean, I was like, I don't know. He's like a guy. I didn't do. I didn't just invade Ukraine for no reason. So it must have had a reason, right? I mean, or you would have beaten him to the punch. The US State Department comes out, we have no bio weapons labs.

Okay. Why are you saying it then? I don't believe you. I don't buy it. Maybe you a little bit have them. Why would you be saying, what else, you didn't say you didn't have a lot of anything else today, right? We don't have a lot of potato chip factories.

Yeah. Inplacians, transitory, I don't buy that. Imagine playing a song so offensive that you lose your job and your entire men's basketball team refuses to play. Imagine playing a song so offensive that the university finds it necessary to offer student athletes and all those involved a range of wellness supports.

As well as opportunities for discussions with the university. Oh, he's reading me this statement. What song could possibly handle this song? They don't even say what it says. What song it is. Let me pull this up. This article. Oh, this isn't a comment.

This is a comment, but he says they don't even say what the song was. And then he sends this link. The only thing that would make this funnier is if it was a women's sports team. You sack Husky's men's basketball coach resigns amidst playoffs. Is that a college? The University of Saskatchewan.

Husky's men's basketball coach is resigned following an allegation that offensive music was played during a recent training session called practice. They call it training sessions in Canada. I think so. Well, I don't know. That was your training session for your basket. Yeah.

Most practice. Uh, according to an email obtained by global news, it was alleged that members of the men's basketball team refused to play for, Raleq following the incident. What? What song? As, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass The fuck song could have been student athletes and all those involved were offered a range of wellness supports as well as opportunities for discussions with the university emotionally traumatizing

that was it one of those red neck racist songs? Yeah, that's where my mind goes because we live in the United States. So I mean, just fucking red necks in Canada, they're all in Alberta. No, I know, they drop in N words everywhere. Is this? Well, that's a no, that would be any popular song, right? Can be it has to have been a white guy, not M&M.

That's what I mean. Singing about the statement says, given this is a private employment matter, no further comment will be perfect. What else could be, what else could be so Equity diversity and inclusion our priorities at the university and we will continue to work to ensure that our campus environments are safe for all members The campus community because of a song What's it like that guns and roses song that got like eliminated from the next the re-release of appetite? What was that one and a million? It's like from a Z, homophobic and racist and all kinds of stuff. Oh, but I love her, but I have to kill her.

They left that one in. Oh, I was like, yeah. Well, you know. Rolick also serves as general manager. So somebody has to know what the song is, right? I mean, just. Come on. No, I mean, just can't you search.

I mean, somebody's gonna know it, right? I mean, it's not gonna be covered in this. Okay. Rolick, offensive song. What the fuck was it? What song did I play? Yeah, read it. What song did he play?

I don't think that anyone actually believes he resigned over a song. They don't say it. God damn it. Maybe it was Ram Ranch. You ever heard that one? Song title. No, they don't say it.

Oh, that's fucking crap. Yeah. Mm-mm. Allegations over offensive music. What a jip. Yeah, no way. I have to know. It's probably a lie. If I watch 300, hello, Dick.

I just wanted to say I've been a huge fan since my dear friend Sergio from Providence introduced me to the biggest problem in the universe some years back. Congratulations on 300 you guys are the best. In honor of the occasion I wanted to share an eyewitness fat watch report that happened to myself in a co-worker live on the ground. Yeah, here we go. Fat watch watch, today and that news. I work in the deli department of a supermarket in the last Monday night. Ground zero. Yeah.

Hahaha. They get desperate. Yeah. Deli of a supermarket. Last Monday night, as me and my coworker were about finished cleaning for the night and were literally about to head out for the evening. Just head out for the evening. Does it need to be literally?

We were right about to head out for the evening. We were on our way out getting ready. Well, I think he wanted to, we were literally heading out for the literal evening. Like he was, one leg was out the door. He wants to really pinpoint, this is how close he were to actually have exited from the building. But he's also using a colloquial metaphor. He's using it literally about to head out. So true. What do you mean you were literally, you cannot literally head, unless you were like I was going to grab my keys and then walk directly to the door.

But you can literally grab keys. Oh, I know. You cannot literally head out. Yeah, sure. Yes, right. Of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I do. Yeah, that's a figure. That's a question.

You're at the fucking deal. You're at the fucking deal, man. You can't literally, oh, I literally sat around the house all day. Yeah, yeah. Right. Literally, you cannot. That's the joke.

Right. Oh, I was literally about to head out for the evening. A retun specimen approached the counter. She demanded a large order of baloney to which I positively responded that we were closed, politely responded that we were closed for the evening. And we were on our way out.

You fucking put a red cape in front of the bull. I also directed her to the fully stocked wall. I know their color blind you assholes don't write me. The fully stocked wall of Oscar Meyer and other, but they can't be totally, like they see a different shade of whatever, right? And I'll see black and white. Well, I mean, you can tell that's red. No, the grace well you can't I don't know if you can tell red

You know I learned you can tell that is red like what I don't know about that you can tell it's a it's a shade I don't know if they're truly black and white let's put it because This is something that I didn't know oh here we go. Yeah, I didn't know this Like dogs dog see shades of blue and yellow Yeah, I don't know this. Like dogs, dog see shades of blue and yellow. Yeah, like pretty good. They can't tell reds and greens. They can't, but to say a dog is colorblind is not accurate. They just have really weak third colors.

Yeah, I don't know. It has to do with like, we have more rods and they have more cones or vice versa, but they see, especially the brighter shades, they see blue and yellow pretty good. Maybe the red, how it turns out, is like their version of the Amazon. Well, color blind people and people, you can't tell reds and greens. That's common for color blind people.

Yeah. Okay, what does it seem? So I didn't know until recently. I also directed her to the fully stocked wall of Oscar Meier and other artery clogging goods. That was nice of him, but apparently this wasn't good. So he said, look, we're closed.

She did the boar's head. Right, the... Oh, yeah. Freshly-sliced. Freshly-sliced. Right. Dripping off. She began screaming at the top of her lungs

for the manager and out of fear of being labeled a white supremacist, I obliged her request. Oh, now suddenly get a different picture. The manager on duty did not immediately respond, so I continued to finish washing the floor while we waited for him to come over. After another minute or two, in between handfuls from a bag of popcorn, she had placed in the top of her shopping carriage.

She again demanded I paid to the manager. When I politely explained, she's gotta be starving at that point. When I paused, she deserted herself screaming manager. When I politely explained, she's got to be starving at that point. When I paused, it deserted herself screaming too. When I politely explained, she got a caloric deficit that he would be over shortly. She suddenly reached for the bottles of sandwich dressing

that were placed atop the counter. This moment I feared that she was gonna do something drastic. Like guzzle them. Like use the oil as a lubricant so that she could squeeze behind the counter to attack us. Oh God. What is she? Or dive over it. Like a shamoo show. She had a shopping cart so like he's in a popcorn. But he's in a store or something.

Supermarket. Oh, he's, oh, okay, got it, got it. But thankfully she just lobbed the bottle of oil at my coworker and I... Jesus. It's wrong with this fucking woman. Gassinimax movie. Finally the manager arrived and I explained to him that she had just thrown merchandise at us to which he confronted her and demanded that she leave the premises. She responded that she was gonna finish her shopping

and exclaimed that the manager wasn't man enough to move me, she said. To move me. You're not man enough to move me. Gotta keep a fucking trunk gun back there. Stomping, standing her ground in a deli section of a super market, saying, you're not man enough to move. I can't be moved like the blob, the X-Men. Yeah, yeah. After this, the manager instructed me to call the cops to have her removed. Uh-oh.

But when she realized what was going on, she quickly finished her shopping. But the police were already waiting for outside. After talking to her for a few minutes at her car, where I can only assume they told her how stunning and brave she was. She came back over to us and said that she refused to identify to herself and that they were only able

to run her plates. No. Should I tell him that? I guess. Like show them, I'll show you whose boss I tell him that? Yeah, I guess. Like show them, I'll show you whose boss and do how do I was. Sorry for the lack of gravity. Fat as houses.

No kidding. They cited with me. But I needed to get this off my chest as I have been feared being eat good God. Every day since. Yeah, that's, I mean, you're on this charged digit over, I think cheers to 300 more episodes. Thanks buddy.

Fath. Here's another fat watch. Fat watch, a fat one has a comment about how a man should finish. Oh my, oh, this is Stigeon. I'll finish when she's finished breathing. I don't know if I read that other guy's name. Let's see here.

Here we go, this should be disgusting. And it is. Mm hmm. I hate quite finishers. This is chocolate. Chocolate range. Is this another fat she's eating, right? Yes, she's eating. This is the pain. Chocolate rats, a chocolate downpour. Yeah. It's a chocolate monsoon. Yeah. I can keep going. Here we go.

She's a very large woman. Her breasts start about the middle of the screen and they don't start sloping inward at all. She's talking about quiet finishers, okay? If you don't know what day is, are you too young to be on my page? Oh myneau is there. You two young people on my page. Oh my God. She moved to Burrito to reveal her breasts. Mm-hm.

I don't need you to let me know as well. That's a burrito? Oh my God, she's so big. I thought it was an egg roll. I hate quiet finishers. Vionneau is there. You two young people on my page. Quiet finishers.

Oh, the smack makes it really disgusting. Quiet finishers. I don't need you The smack makes it really disgusting. Oh, I don't need you. Let me know as though. Oh, I think I was joking on that. Me too. I'm going to read it. Oh, my God. That's disgusting.

Thanks, buddy. Okay. I think I might ahead and one more fat watch. That's here. Tt-t-t. That's here. Tt-t-t. Oh yeah, I'm a sexy summer camp. There we go. This is a, these women are running a sexy summer camp

for children in rural Kentucky with lessons on sex liberation, gender exploration, BDSM. Aw, come on. Can't the kids just learn on the internet like we did? Right. I think it's not, you don't need it. The only thing you need to do is to see summer camp

for children, is this for fucking real? I think so. It's got an agenda, being a sex worker. Uh, self-managed abortions and sexual activity while using illicit drugs. Well, you think illicit? And illicit drugs? This looks like some like fucking hardcore right.

Look what they're doing thing. Like fake, right? Yeah, gotta be fake. Uh, let's look up and see if this is, Look what they're doing thing fake, right? Yeah, gotta be fake Let's let's look up and see if this is here's the agenda for the camp Oh, this is one of them talking about it. You think they took the joke this far. I don't know You know, the same dog people Denny Mastervation is really healthy and I recommend it to you know when you do it. No

masturbation is really healthy and I recommend it to people. Now when you do it, no, it's not healthy for anybody to masturbate on a treadmill. Just watch the live, every time you talk about it. Kids touch themselves. They're never going to do it again after this. Yeah, right. We teach them their language for their bodies, right? That's your nose, touch your nose, show it to you, you can touch your nose. What are you, what's the thing that when they're tugging at their penis, right?

I was just said kids. I don't ever talk about my penis. I'm going to learn ways to talk to young people about it so that they know how to explore their body. You do not need to teach young people how to explain. No, you do not do it. Definitely not some fucking strangers or not. That's someone who could not explore their body because it's so big.

Ramaws. Rampaws. All of us need to be exploring our bodies. That's how we should. No, we do it. Don't worry, I know what's everything's there. No, I don't like this. It's getting bigger.

This can't be real. Sexy summer camp. Sexy, sex ed.org. Okay, let's see if, let me just see if this is real. I don't want to get duped. Sexy, sex ed.org. This site can't be reached. Okay, maybe that was a joke. Oh, hopefully it was a joke. Sexy sex. Would they take the job at the joke that far? Ed Hulks. I don't see. Oh, they're just talking about teachers and let's just say,

huh, yeah, that was, uh, I mean, I don't know. It's hard to tell because all those teachers are really pissed off that they're not allowed to teach kindergarteners about being trans and shit. Like, they're melting down over it. Yeah. You can't say gay stuff. Well, I, you know, and they're like, well, what if a,

what if a kid says I have two gay dads? Look, I didn't, I didn't read the bill. I just heard it because I, oh, nobody, it wasn't that, so no, that's my point. That's my, you know, things are rarely as, like insane as they sound, you know? I mean, yeah. People are all up, sometimes they're more,

but it's like, it seems like they're, yeah. Like, what do you want them to do? Like, I I just I don't want I just want them to sit there Don't let the kids hurt each other. Learn their fucking even teach maybe sees and how to fucking can't yeah This workshop will include discussion games and some hands-on Practice this has to be oh god. Yeah, somebody tell me this please tell me, this is fake. It sure seems like it. It's to horrendous. Hands on. Oh, God. All right.

Yeah. I like the really kind of derailed Chris the Kiwi with the ghost conversation a little bit. Like the undertone of that was like, what do you fucking idiot? Yeah, he got duped. Okay. That's enough. That's enough of that watch for today. I'll see some advice and then I got a lot of voicemails on it. London Heydek, after road rage LA, I started feeling lonely. And in a pit of pathetic desperation, I signed up for speed dating. And it was boring as hell.

Sounds like it would be very boring. Having to listen to like 20 women tell them, tell you about themselves. Is it like five minutes at a time? Yeah, the worst amount of time. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Just when they're wrapping it up. It was boring as hell. It's probably all me and my autism, but I got nothing out of talking to any of the women there.

Yeah. Well, they were all pretty, I guess, but I felt no chemistry at all. Thanks to the Virgin contest, I become a shameless, ormonger who always remembers to bring it up in conversation with someone associated with the show, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable the situation is.

Okay, that's fun. So, sex for the sake of it has gotten boring, and now I want to find actual companionship. How do I find someone who isn't a bore to talk to? Are you? I might not know. I used to have a girlfriend back in middle school. Well, and that I got along with really well and always enjoyed talking to.

So I know it's at least possible. Otherwise, how do I get over the need to not be alone? Well, I don't think women are the fix for that. Because I think it's gonna kill me. I don't have anyone I can go to and it makes life feel pointless. Yeah, boy. Woman's not going to fix that. Women are not going to fix the pointlessness of life. You know what? You know what? Just you. A woman to give you, to give your life meaning, go find the most crazy drug addict, phone addict

you can find. She will give you plenty to do, plenty of reasons to get out of bed, plenty of crazy things to talk about. She'll make you feel at a maximum all day every day. Do that for a couple of years. I'll learn you. I'll learn you real quick about how much excitement and meaning women can bring to your lives.

Yeah, look, you, you, uh, they watch in too many Disney movies, but that's not what, no, you, not with relationships. You cannot make anyone else, uh, partially or fully responsible for how you feel. How do you, girl walks up, a, uh, my life is pointless. Can you fix that? Yeah, fuck no. Yeah. Well, he just, I mean, he just doesn't know.

I mean, he thinks that's what's missing when you have find out that that's not what's missing. Yeah. We gotta work out. I suspect you're not working out. You gotta lift weights. And then stop looking to women for fulfillment. Go do something else.

Go figure it out on your own or don't. It doesn't matter either way. Advice. I recently met a chicken local bar, larger than average size tits, thank you. Five, seven, blonde, fit in my very small town. I found it to be quite attractive. It's surprised I didn't know who she was. And a town as small as the one I live in,

us men are generally aware of all the attractive single women. I wish people would put the size, is it 500 people? Is it a thousand people? I have a small town, you know what I mean? 20,000 people, you probably wouldn't say that about. I'm always curious, because there's a lot of places

in the middle of the country that are not, it makes the next sentence, so different. All of us men are generally aware of all the attract, like, so he knows all the men and the, it's a weird thing to say. Okay. I'm currently only about three to four months off of dumping my girlfriend of seven years.

Okay, so you're a disaster. And I have only recently started playing the field again. I figured it was because of my time on the bench. Let me sports metaphors we have in here. Well, you know, probably dropped those for dating again. My time on the bench, I didn't know who this lady was, but after meeting her, I found out she had recently moved here to work with the national Park System. We hit it off and she gave me her number. We've been chatting for a couple of weeks, and it wasn't until she added me on Facebook that I saw she's 47, and I'm 32. I knew she was probably older

than me, but my guess would have been 37. Well, yeah. So she looks fucking great, apparently. Well, I mean, who knows? I mean, if he usually people aren't that fucking far off, how did they? We hit it off, she gave me your number, so drunk probably. Well, yeah. I was off by an entire decade. I know my parents family would probably

think it's weird if we dated. I mean, that's, that's a big age. So far ahead. That's a big age gap. So far ahead and dying to get back into a relationship, you're already inventing, inventing a relationship that your parents and friends have opinions about. Yeah. As a proxy for you, I also think it would be kind of weird, but I think she's very attractive. I know I could probably pull off a hit it and quit it type of deal, but in a small town, we don't get too many opportunities. So I would prefer to bang her for the foreseeable future, but I don't know. She's 47 and so away with this. Maybe she wants to fucking hit it and quit it. Yeah, maybe she doesn't want any of this.

Without my family and friends grilling me about the age gap, what the fuck, you're 32? Who the fuck's family is grilling them about? Any, don't tell them anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's clearly got it built up in his mind. Maybe, you know, probably falsely. Guys, this one of the people are not.

Most people are not, you know, as interested in what you're doing as people think they are, you know, probably falsely. Guys, one of the people are not, you know, as interested in what you're doing as people think they are, you know? People have this like weird, incestuous, like, I don't wanna say codependent because it's not the accurate use of the term, where like guys, this is my version of like the American male, a guy who says like,

oh, well, I gotta have to check with the boss. I got to check with my wife about it. Because they like it. Like they like this gross system of obligations and permission. So they said shit like this. Well, my family's going to shut the fuck when they say like, oh, so what's going on with so and so? He said, I don't know what you, I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, it's not.

Oh, well, I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, what? Absolutely. And that's it. Right. But they actually do it because they like it. They like it. Go ahead.

What are you going to say? I was going to say that's actually that is excellent advice. I think you don't fucking, you don't have to justify anybody. You really do not. You really do not. But you really do not. I would think I would prefer this whole getting laid side of things and saying, fuck you,

she's hot to anyone who has anything to say about this matter. It's weird that you talk about it at all. But still, I'm being paranoid about being judged. Any insight would be appreciated. Dick go fuck yourself, smooch his for Sean and please tell Vito, I love him. I feel like I already answered that one. You were.

So he said it though in the last sentence, right? Or the last couple of sentences, he's worried about being judged. I guess. I mean, that's really easy. That's why you're building up fantastic scenarios in your, you know, in your mind that everybody's gonna have some kind of negative opinion you've implied. It seems just like you're in a seven year related.

You're still in a seven year relationship in your head, but now you've just replaced the girl. So take it easy. Uh, yeah, you know what I, well, we heard, I'm gonna, if you guys are talking about the sum out of here, that's it. I don't heard, I'm gonna, if you guys are talking about this, I'm out of here. Mm. That's it, I don't care. I don't wanna talk about it.

Mm. Okay, last one, Victoria. I'll try to keep it short, but you know, girl brain, I know. Mm. As of recently, I have developed a massive crush on a friend of mine. I was up until last April in a seven-year-ish,

not what, seven-year relationships? Long relationship with a dude. Seven-year-ish, not one, seven-year relationships. Long relationship with a dude. Seven-year-ich. Yeah, really. Who used to be best friends with this person? It's a girl or a guy. A friend of mine shouldn't say yet. At this point, I hang out with this person way more than my ex

and have been doing so for months. We are good friends and my best friend used to be roommates with him. Okay. So her best maybe girlfriend, her best friend, her best friend's a girl, and the guy, I'm assuming she's straight, right? Yeah, let's assume that, good assumption.

Am I gonna get canceled for that term? Assuming someone's straight? Straight? Probably. Sorry. At this point I hang out with, okay, I got the people all mixed up. I was until April, a match with a crush on a friend of mine.

I was in a relationship with a dude who used to be best friends with this guy. Okay. Right. This point, I know a little something about that. Two guys. Yeah, at this point, I hang out with this person way more than my ex. Mm-hmm.

Well, I would hope so. Right. You probably should be hanging out. You should be hanging out with your ex. Well, I would hope so. Right. You probably shouldn't hang out. Should be hanging out with your ex at all, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're fucking dead. We're good friends and my best friend

used to be roommates with him. Okay, which is how that doesn't matter. I never noticed him before because I'm real monogamous like borderline, trad, stat. What the hell does that mean? Well, I don't know what stat. Serial, I think we, you and I said serial monogamous. Yeah, that was our slant.

Stat is a trad stat now. Oh, well, I don't know what the stat, I know what the trad means, but. Statistic? I don't know, there's, the know what the trad means, but... Statistic? I don't know, there's... The main question is, how real is Brocode? How long does one wait before trying to go after a once extremely close friend of an ex?

Oh, oh, I see. We're in our early 30s. I can't really tell if he's into me because he's technically a bit autistic and he's super duper shy. I am not one to make the first move because I prefer to be a girl about it. Well, no shit, yeah. Definitely tread.

Plus, I haven't been on the dating scene since my early 20s, but I'm decent looking. Five foot, 105 pounds, decent base, a portion of it to my small size. No kids or divorces. Didn't say how big your tits were, God damn it. five pounds decent base, apportionate to my small size, no kids or divorces. Didn't say how big your tits were, God damn it. Does bro code bar a possible thing? Should I just steer clear? Bro code goes way out the fucking window.

Yeah, should I just steer clear and remain friends with this person? How can I tell a shy and slightly autistic dude is actually into me? Let me give you a one of them to be. See, I mean, do you want them? Because if you want them to be, he is I mean, do you want them to be? He is.

Yeah, kind of, it's not kind of seems like you could force him into it. Here's the, okay, yeah, obviously I think the broke code is retarded. Yeah, you've said this before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not, it doesn't exist in practice. Problem is, guys, like guys who,

I noticed this about like people in general, there's a kind of meme going around about this. Guys who can't survive on their own, like in their brain, all over the place, they invent this like system of rules, that they all agree to subscribe by, so they don't feel like a constant state of anxiety. We call the bros get together

and we're not gonna pursue each other's girls, right? Because they just cannot maturely handle their emotions, otherwise. You know what I mean? Like people, so it's really easy to manufacture consent for these people, because you just blast it all. You blast surveys all over TV and stuff.

Like, oh, all the celebrities want to pay more for gas and it's doing your part. And I'll just like, well, you know, I feel great. Yeah. Yeah. I feel great about that. Nobody wants to be the one who rocks the boat and goes, hey, this is all kind of stupid. Yeah. But guys who are just kind of, are not constantly afraid of having to defend their shit. Like, I'm not even saying like you have to be this weird internet badass. But if you're just not really afraid of getting a shit taken away from you, like, I mean, you know, have it happens, right? Right. Just able to cope with it, but you don't subscribe to this kind of retarded shit.

Yeah. So, if you subscribe to it, I mean, he's kind of a fuck anyway, right? Like, it's not like that's just going to be one part of his, if he's into the broke-code stuff, it's not like that's going to be one part of his life. Yeah, yeah. He's going to be like that, they're all like that with everything. So like, why would it, why is she even interested then, if he is that guy? Yeah, I get that. I mean, I don't know. Sounds like a lot of work. Tracking a guy into a relationship.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know how hard you have to pull, but I can say with, you know, better than 50-50, he's into you. Yeah. Okay, everybody, that's the joke. Patreon.com slash it to go. Shane, thank you so much for 300 episodes. Yeah, thank you guys very much.

I know, we're gonna give another 300 out of it. I mean, you're a hundred. It's, you know, I mean, I take it one episode at a time, like a drunk. Ha ha ha ha. Fuck, I forgot to have a beer. Yeah. I'm gonna play the Hardman Working Hard.

And then I got some presents, Hardman. Did they not have a new episode? Shit, I guess not. I thought they were doing a new one. Way to disappoint us. I guess so. I'll play this. Sean Hubble Mcken. This is...

All I want. This is all I want to show. Here you go. Oh, okay. This is like Billy Jean. I was watching the Diction, no I never would miss, no, and I'm drippin' my day for my favorite blind info. Sean, with the bonge and his hand and the dongle, the size of the wall that we're handin'

and I never came to a step. They's okay with the chisel jaw line, and it's not my look all day damn. It's easy to say, I'm a fan, wanna fuck all day damn It's if you say I'm a fan wanna fuck them every day if I can Wanna find a future pan wanna blow them in Thailand Wanna find the comments and the a go heading in his pants Wanna massage his thighs wanna hold him tight And when we make love wanna look him in his eyes Wanna feel him, do you wanna wake up wearing his D.V.

Wanna choke on his cock with the T.D. I'm just playing in his weapon on his ball I'm just saying I'm a big fan I'm just gonna wear a really story Used to be smart but around shine I'm a tardy. I'm gonna show him. Where a real story used to be smart, but around Sean, I'm retarded. I do anything I can just to get a hold of that ball to his pants. Oh, I want Sean and me. Bucking ground.

Oh, Sean, that gave me an advice. Help me with my life, I'll go. Sean and come to the next place. Oh, Sean really is unbelievable. Here. Here's it. It's sweet. Yeah.

Couldn't think of any more gay rhymes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hey. Chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon chon I'm making hard diamond. I'm gonna wear this. Okay, and I've got, mine says, Mike's gay husband was born. This is a really nice shirt, too. I don't even care that it's not a V-neck. Mike's gay husband was born in Hardman working hard, Tobor.

He has a very feminine penis and takes no shit. Oh, that's cool. A very feminine penis. I crust out, but I still listen to the Hardman working hard, and it makes me feel horny, baby. I don't know if I still listen to the hard men working hard, and it makes me feel horny, baby. I don't know if I could, that's a rad skull though. Yeah, no shit.

Okay, thanks guys. Thank you. Thank you. That's cool. I've also got this, I think Steven sent this. Steven. Let's see here. It's been a minute since he's called in.

He's usually, he's interesting to talk to you, I think. Okay, interesting. Chiseled face, groomatorium, midnight stag. Oh, hand in body soap. Ooh. Oh, some. Some, those look like sample collectors.

The sample. The sample is that? The sample is something? I don't know. Oh, okay, so you're not supposed to put anything. Yeah, let's see. Let's see that, check that soap out. Yeah.

Dogwood hand crafts. Oh, okay. Wow, this smells even before I can get it open. Hey, Dick, I recently got a new CNC machine on the old show when you pointed out that 3D printers are stupid and retarded, whereas C.M.C. machines are cool and useful. I made this sign out of walnut wood with white resin inlay as a test and it turned out pretty neat so I'm sending it to you. I hope you like it and then nobody has done it.

Let me know if there's ever anything you want made and I'll hook you up. While ago you talked about soap and water paintings to find good ones, so I'm including a bar of my favorite soap. Oh, thanks. My friend makes it. Pretty good. Smells like gasoline leather and hops number nine gun with that's what this is.

Yeah. Dude, it does smell like gasoline. Let me smell that. It kinda does. I know hops smell like nine gun. It smells kinda smoky. Horsesely like it and your girlfriend doesn't hate it. I threw in a bunch of perfume samples. My girlfriend and I made the same chick who liked my buff

arms. Feel free to spray them on any stinky women or man, you come across and we'll sell lots to both. Thank you. Thank you for all you do. I hope you see you in Atlanta again soon. Steven dogwoodhandcrafts.com for woodshed southernwitchcrafts.com for soap and proof. It does smell like kind of,

it really does. Yeah, kind of patrolling him, he doesn't it. He's supposed to look like grandpa's. It smells a little like kind of like smokey leather or something too. We might have to cut this in half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this is the CNC machine.

Wow, that's cool. The CNC machine did that? Yeah, wow. Oh, yeah, it's the CNC machine. Wow, that's cool. The CNC machine did that? Yeah, wow. Oh, yeah, it's for hanging up. That's you are wondering. That's pretty. Okay, thank you, Steven. Thank you.

Oh, okay. Let's see some voicemails. I'm gonna do voicemails. Right, where are we at? Are we at the two hour mark? No, not quite. Okay, here we go. Dig, I'm also a long-haired fuck. I understand it.

But what makes me a rage today or tonight is these bras that don't know how to pull hair. I can get into some hair pulling. I understand. But if you just grab for, you know, just a little strand off to the side you start fucking ain't you on it? I had to take you need more to the ground. I've wrestled for 18 years in my life and I took this bitch to the ground. I'm in the ground. You wouldn't let go. You wouldn't fucking air.

Cause just pulled a little strand and it's a grip in it out. Grab a handful. That's how it works. Yeah. Cause it has to distribute. Yeah. Yeah. It's like getting stuck on with a high heel. You're doing your long, long, long. You understand how it works. I know you know how it works.

Don't grab a strand from the side. Yeah. And fucking yank. And then don't get mad at me when I take your ass to the ground. And then you're up there. And when I take your ass to the ground I go to my fucking floor and I pull up a handful of my hair and I say hey What is this from Yes, they think you pulled out all my fucking air. They think we have infinite hair like them and we don't. She's gonna drive him into becoming a trans woman wrestler. Oh, fuck him destroyed the, you know what they fucking women in here. I have a lot of complaining.

I had a lot of complaining to do about women this episode too. You know, I'd say fear that out. Get the fuck out of my house. This episode? Yeah. Go on. I had a lot that I didn't get to do this anymore. You care pulling etiquette sucks.

First of all, yes, women, when they want to pull your hair during sex, they'll grab like three hairs and then pull a pull. Oh, here we go. Right from the dope. This is one I don't need. Here you go. Do you like your hair being pulled in sex and you say, yeah, I mean, I have to say yes, like, because you know, you know, because I want this to happen again.

Oh, here you go. How does this feel? They'll go grab it and get a little tiny bit like a barber cutting your hair. And then they'll get to the end and yank or they'll sit there when you're watching TV or something and like rub the where you're going to go bald. Like this is like, yeah, fucking stop. What are you helping? Go like if you're going to touch my hair, go to where you see guys with always hair, no matter what, like around here, around the back of your head.

Yeah. Not right here, they always go right for your fucking hairline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, I don't know why they all do it too, because they're demented. They wanna make you unattractive for anybody else. Hey, Jack, here's some of my pugs

that's from Berries and Cream, sent us some pugs from my Pogs. This is from Barry's and Cream. Send us some Pogs from my Pog Club. I hope you like them. Hopefully better quality. Then she's got an insult for somebody. Oh, look at that. Some Pogs from Barry's and Cream Pogs came over. Cool.

John from Garfield drinking a Fanta. Pogs are still a thing. Yeah, how about that? Yeah, buddy, I agree with you. Luminin in their hair pulling. Okay. Hey, Dakar, Sean. Hey, top of my live stream. You just wanted to call me. Hey, congratulations, guys. I'm 300 episodes. Thank you. Great job on the live stream. Yeah, we're gonna help

around for you guys and wish you all the best in the future. Sean, since you're the number one big boy, big old snitch for you. Dick, go to your go fuck yourself. Thank you. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot, buddy. Thanks. That was really custom for each one of us. Yeah, thanks for suffering through all that abysmal content

so we can do the bonus episodes. Right. Yeah, okay, here we go. Hey, Dick, an awesome live show. My first tour, definitely not my last totally Not about our last guys who walked at the Vita and told him he wasn't funny to his face That's a picture after He's either recount that story was I think the funniest did he's ever done. It's really funny

Or he do it on the also Sean come on man the whole time did not want to do the dance did not want to do the dance the whole time I did the dance you did the dance. I still wasn't doing the dance. Yeah, I did it. You don't get it I'm saying this was dance, but uh, now he did it, you know, next live show you're doing the dance. No No, he did it. I'll do this. I did it. I did it. I missed it. You're wrong. You're wrong. He did it Uh, okay, let's try this one. Hey, you know what I really fucking hate? I joke framing. People have just regular unfunny jokes, and they'll try to make them funny by saying, oh, I had a dream where this happened, and then I said this, and oh my gosh, and then I woke up.

Or they'll say, oh, a kid said this. So that makes it funny. No, the joke wasn't funny. Fr device doesn't make a dream where I heard this joke Fucking joke if you're so ashamed that you have to frame it It's like a fucking awful way to don't say it Get better jokes. No, I know he's saying funny Fuck does that happen? Where well it sounds like what he's saying is that people are taking an unfunny joke and then

customizing it to try to add their own little spice to it. Like, oh, like adding it. Oh, you know, my kid said, as opposed to just like, you know, my coworker, if it was my coworker, it would be fucking retarded. But since it's a kid, maybe that'll make it funny. Wow, people go through a lot of work to be fun shows. Oh, he's right, just get a better joke. I mean, huh.

Ah, okay. Hey, Dick, there's a little from Canada. Well, make me a fucking rage, because these assholes who come in to my repair shop and tell me the car's doing something. So I go on first test drive with them. Never does it. And their car's not doing shit.

Yeah, that always happens. And if they feel anything other than crippling embarrassment. Oh, yeah. And apologize for wasting my fucking time. They should just kill themselves. It'll do it again. What do you think they invented it? Yeah.

Hey, what do you mean? They're driven a car for 50,000 miles. All of a sudden it's doing something that's never done before. I'm shuddering at this idle speed. That's a temperature thing. Maybe it's, yeah. And you're mad at that?

Yeah, maybe it's, right. That's like the worst thing that you eat. What do you want to fix their car? Do some diagnostics. No worry, I'll take it over there next time. What am I supposed to, sorry for wasting your time? I thought it was gonna be broken. I'm sorry. I thought you was gonna be broken. That's right.

I thought you were open for business. Jesus Christ. That Canadians were nice. No, they're not. As it turns out. It's all fake. All the politeness is fake. Well, I'm real, but all politeness is bad.

I get it. Okay, here you go. It'll make me fucking rage. It's been re-carded all the highway. Batches get it Okay, here you go Yes For concrete Great range. It's so, why the fuck are you slowing down? What are they gonna do? They're gonna come chase you down. They're not doing shit. They call their buddy.

They're going 80 miles an hour in the other direction. I love it. We got a guy on the other side. I love it. I just fucking, I tricked these guys by going on the other side. And they're speeding, not slowing down, showing difference to the bullet to the badge. Get them.

Fuck that. Oh, well, the better to be safe than sorry, you don't you think Is he talking about on the freeway or so well even the surface treats if there's a big old median? No, they're not fucking and you can see that like there's nobody in front of them all the cars on the direction He's going to be pulled over to the side. No, you don't have to do shit. Oh, you never know with the police Shooting people I don't know well maybe they ran out black, maybe he's not in the town of black people. Then what are they doing? Maybe he's running to the, to the fucking ammo store. Hmm. Okay. Let's see here. Hey, Dick, I saw it. I saw an article today about how Facebook is gonna let the rush.

Is it gonna let people talk about the Russians and be like, oh, we should kill them. They're gonna allow that. Oh, yeah, did you see that? Like, yeah, it's like, so we're wide-learned. I would say that we can murder Russians, but we're not allowed to use slayers against them. Like I can't call them like vodka and where it's like killing.

He's telling me to be able to kill him. But that's a lot of end words. We're allowed to do that. We can advocate. We can't advocate. They're called them funny names. You know, it makes perfect sense. I hope that's true.

Oh, no, it is forever. They'll die forever. God, you know, they're dead. Fuck. Would you rather be dead or call them vodka? I don't want to live labeled like that. You can make fun of forever. I said it was drunk. I'm't. You can make fun of forever. I said it was vodka and word.

Yeah, you could. Oh, Facebook went out of their way to say, we're making it okay for people to call for the death of Putin and Russia and Russians. But no, that was it. Oh, they're like, we're letting this slide. First of all, why did you, but not the vodka? Well, yeah, you can't still can't. Right.

Some of the vodka and word. That's, that's true, yeah, he kills it. Still can't possibly vodka and word. That's, that's what's such an amazing term. Can I go put in this fucking Putin stole my bike? Yeah, I wanted to talk about right fucking Putin's a sni you tell now. Isn't that crazy? Poo in stole my bike. Okay, everybody just want everybody to know we're making it okay to say that you want to kill Russians. Putin.

So that's allowed. What the fuck? Why not? It makes sense. That's the fuck guy. Perfect. It really does. Yeah.

That's a... Okay. Let's see here. Something about women are at the rate this week it is city women's television okay i'm at home and you can do anything

he's a good thing to deal more that i i i know that that was a show just twenty years old rebooting it was a little bit of free time but it was it's probably one of the most it was a few i can't stand it everybody talks about one and a half time to two times speed

because the writers decided to jam packet bush deco that of life are just the general observation like subversive should be subversive observation all humor and it's just horrible and I don't get why women like that she's like laughing at it's just it made my head hurt I'm laughing at it. It's not supposed to be for you.

Like in a bad way. I watch the ex-boyle and shit. That's just cool. Do they have a whole new ex-boy else too? I think they try. A big bad. I don't get it. Yeah, I agree they tried. I don't think they had. I agree with you. It's like a big, biggest problem in the ever. No, it sounds like he's expected to watch it with her, because that shows not for him.

Yeah, they don't care. Yeah. 80s girls watches lifetime movies all the time, language he's doing. Right. Cleaning up and stuff. Well, that makes you look like a saint, not really, because you know, there's always some like womanizing wife beating, not the wife being.

They, the none of them have any concept of like a job or on the shows. Yeah, do like every one of them, the lines that they deliver about their husbands are always, well, how is the big account you're working on? Oh, he's really busy working on the big account. He's working on the big account. Oh, he's going for, he's becoming partner. It's like, I mean, it's like a child's understanding

of what dad does at work all day. And it's, it's, I've seen that a lot. Really fucking retarded. And they'll make them to Netflix. Have you Netflix movies or just fucking awful? Yeah. One came out with one of the sex in the city, girls. And it's like, all of the movies are like the nanny that steals the husband and the way they deal with like life time movies.

Yeah, but now they're starting to creep in a Netflix. Sure. So the things that they deal with are like, it would be like a movie where like a guy, I don't know, it's like a teenage sex movie, but for adults. Yeah, I get it. It's so odd.

Yeah. They're so strange. You watch some of these movies and I'll give you a very strange insight into women. Not a good one. Okay, let me see. Here we go. I see a massive billboard as I'm driving to Las Vegas. It says, it says Army Recruiting Coaster with a Las Vegas Raider symbol.

It says your legacy protects our future. Yes. Do you want me to try to hide it? Yeah. Oh, that was not a complete voicemail, I would say. Army, you're protecting their legacy. Can we just pay those, pay the armies to fight without having to wrap around like all this bullshit around it?

Like just, just go pay them, go kill those guys. Yeah, see who wins. Okay. Winners, you know, countries get to let us know. Let us know. We're in. Yeah, we'll throw you big parade either way, give you new jerseys, new jerseys and shit, right?

We'll make up a guy. I have to deal with anything real. We don't have to have real guys involved. Yeah. Fucking, uh, fucking Joe Kremlin's over there. He's a real guy. I'm like, oh, yeah. Karen Dykstra is over there.

Go, Karen Dykstra. Killer, go get her. Kill those other army guys too. Then leave us alone. Leave the rest of us alone. Oh shit Okay last one. Let's play with our gadgets. Yeah, let us Fuck around be on the internet Stop arguing about this crap. It doesn't matter Sup, they can Sean this is Rex sexton. Oh, what makes me a rage this week is poor restroom etiquette

And what makes me a rage this week is poor restroom etiquette. Now, I generally don't mind if you're over at my place hanging out, having some drinks. Of course, you're going to need to piss, help yourself. But God damn it, if there is a woman I know who comes within a 10 mile radius of my house, they just have to use my bathroom, giving me a ride home. Can I use your bathroom real quick? Stop it, come here. What really? Can I use your bathroom real quick? Stop it coming really? Can I use your bathroom real quick?

I used the bangers bitch, and I got tired and ghosted her to call me from downtown like can I come pee in your place? I don't want to use a public restroom, but that's somehow going to win me back. Not even getting. Just today, the second seven-year-old property appraisal lady is over at my place, you know, run through my yeah you can under my bed when she goes can I use your bathroom real quick yeah sure get a load of those shit spackles and take a couple bucks off the purchase value how about that a couple of a day do I get

effects hey are you home me and my friends are downtown and need to pee no the same seven year old woman same voice it's it's it's when they come over to hang out no the same seven-year-old woman and the voice it is when they come over to hang out the and and

and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and terrified they're gonna get caught in a situation where they have to be in camp or in the uh... toilet that gets rich clean off every single time one of these broads drops their fat asses on it whatever they come out of the bathroom they always got to make some comment like

like you have so many towels or how often do you have that monkey butt powder that's true well showed you all the criticize fuck you go blow up the toilet that mixed set mix fucking Donald and leave me alone. Anyway, fuck you 300 and go fuck yourself. Thanks. Thank you. How come, have you ever noticed when women go to the bathroom,

use the bathroom, it's like, I can't tell what that smell is. I don't know if they like, if they shit, I don't know which number they did. You ever get that, most of the, like women go to the bathroom and you're like, if they shit, I don't know which number they did. You ever get that? Most of the, like, women go to the bathroom, you're going to be like, what fucking number happens? Like a one and a half?

Yeah. I know it's not just me. I used to have this feeling when I would go into my grandma's bathroom as a child. It was when the first time I became aware of this new number, Smell. You know, women's bathroom. I go, what the fuck?

Smell is this. This guy goes in the bathroom and I'm like, okay. But there's also like, whoa, and there's also like some kind of like shampoo smell and like, it's not good. It's like, it's all mixed up with. Like did something happen with the vagina in here? What the hell's going on?

Very rarely do you walk in like, whoa, number two, right? With a guy, it's like, all or nothing, but the women are so, I don't like what happened in here. Yeah, because I don't exactly know. I don't get it. And I don't like not knowing. Yeah, all right, goodbye everyone. Thanks. Happy 300, thank you.

Thank you.