The Dick Show - Episode 307 - Super Fit Models

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Pro-choice, pro-life, and pro-asteroid, Seanies are sold out, hell gets an update, "Heckling is not cool", the sex strike, super fit models, bad beers taking over the fridge, central Africa vs. the IMF, and Pani is back in studio with more news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

You know what it is, my girlfriend's gone for the weekend from other's day. Yeah. I just have nothing to complain about. I don't know how to, maybe I died. Hasn't she done something during the week? I mean, I can't even remember. Yeah. You know?

Well, yeah. It's really the best way to go, just kind of forget what happened yesterday. Now I'll tell you what she did every day's a gift. No, it's not. I've never believed that. There's a new memory around reminds me that life is taking forever. There's a mean more. Yeah, people saying that they were almost aborted and they're so happy that they

weren't, which by the way, that's nothing. I was almost aborted four times. Yeah. Did you know that? That like age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age, age right in there. Right. Right. That's not in. Something just happened. Yeah. The doctor, she slapped the doctor. Doctor, how dare you? Slap. Right.

Somehow you cucked both your parents. So there's a people that are saying, I was almost aborted. Oh, me too. Me too everybody. Right, me too. You could have almost been. Yeah.

I mean, how do you know? Yeah, how do you know? I was almost aboard, I'm so glad I, well, glad I was. Well, you wouldn't really know, would you? Every day, now that I'm not aborted, I'm living my dream. I can one day live in a van down by the river.

That's the new American dream is to have a sprinter van that you want in an Instagram contest. And you could live with your dog and a guy that looks like he owns a guitar but stopped learning to play it when he hit the F chord. And where's, that's a tough one to learn. That's the great filter. That's the great filter of civilization

is the F chord. Never mind. And the cripple people's hands learning that one. Cripple people? Yeah, cripple people. Cripple people. Cripple people. And then the other, that's the new American dream.

I hope one day to live in a van down by the river. Me too. And then there's the other side of the other man. I've got a van first. As people with, I wish I was aborted. You know what? Yeah. I understand that too.

Right. Exactly. I'll tell you, my girlfriend loaded an entire box of Takati into the fridge. Yeah. I had a box of Takati's. I always have a box of garbage beer. You know, just in case. Is it 24? 30. 30. It was 20. It's 24. It's a cube. you know. Okay, yeah, I'm trying to picture. She loaded the entire, so now I open the fridge and it's just like, this, what is this said? Ticotti factory, there's only Ticottis.

And you can't, you know, where's the good beer? I will never drink this. So you have to try to reach behind all the Ticottis and just start calling out. And I keep in mind I have one fucking arm, so I can't do anything. I have a look. Takades out of the fridge. I'm just like, fuck it, fuck this. Dogs licking up all the Takades on the ground.

Right. Here's one, here's one for you, Sean. Where the fuck is my piece of paper? Oh. Oh yeah. Windows 11, here you go. This is a nice start to the day, actually. Okay. Windows 11, here you go. This is a nice start to the day actually. Windows 11 headline, Windows 11 helps build

a more positive, including shopping experience for plus size women. What do you think about that for Windows 11? Is that it? I think I closed that window. But they renamed it barn door. Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I mean, how's the crash today, K, the million, the $20 million man joining me is always World Tourant LA-based comedian Sean the outer engineer. Hello, Dick.

What's up, buddy? There's my mother's day. Oh, happy mother's day. Happy mother's day. Where would we be without the war on drugs and no prostitution and constant? Where would we be without the gender identity of mother? Oh my God, these way.

Legally, you have to record. My gender identity is I own and contributed to half of your stuff. Yeah. And I need the law to recognize that. So there's a lot of people out there. Some of our listeners are married or have like, you know, long time girlfriends or have baby mamas or whatever.

Sometimes too. So it's like, it's tempting to get them a gift, right? But, oh, you mean who is not a mother? Oh, I'm saying, well, I mean that or, or mother. So I'm just, this is a blanket statement kind of. Okay. I was saying, the one you don't want to get them a watch. Oh, did you get your girlfriend a watch?

No, no, no, no, no. I know. Like a nice Cartier watch? No, no, no, no, no. I know that. Like a nice Cartier watch? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying that's like, if you're gonna get a gift, don't do the watch because the stove already has a clock on it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Hey, I got a zinger for you.

How about a potato chip brand called Genetics? Uh-huh, okay. Why are you so fed? Genetics. Ha, ha, ha, Why are you so fat? Genetics. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Oh, good.

Well, mine of these products. That's good. I was saving that for the bonus episode. That's good. We just put one out at patreon.com slash the Dix show. Yes. Or whatever the other ones. I forget what they are right now.

Genetics. Genetics. They make sugar. They make frappe coffee, monster drinks. Well, they make sugar, they make frappe, coffee, monster drinks, take over the things. And they just take over the entire food market. Netflix, yes, craft is rebranding to genetics. Yeah, there's no Monsanto, it's genetics.

Genetics, right. That's probably, somebody's probably done that already. Maybe. It's a comedian. That's gonna be my stand-up comedy career. It's gonna go to open mics and tell that one joke. Right. And then just stand there for 10 minutes.

Until everybody goes, he's a genius. You know what, I have to pretend to understand it. I don't understand it. I have to pretend to understand it. No, I mean, like, this happens in like kind of elite art circles and things. Well, I don't get it. All these other people get it. I don't know, I just don't, but it must be genius.

And they're all thinking exactly the same fucking thing. I am a genius, though. Speaking of genius, we went to this Netflix as a joke thing. Yeah. Tim Robinson was all, here's a couple things about it. A new hell update just dropped. Yeah.

You know, like when they update the system software, every once in a while in life, the where we live in hell, they'll drop a new update. And you're like, oh, wow, things are a little bit worse now that they've come up with that. That's great. Wonderful.

Didn't see that one coming. Thanks guys. Did you do anything good? No, nothing good. Sunset's sitting get a little better today, did they? This update fixes the last update that was supposed to be worse. You know what they actually got bad?

Yeah. So they start this show and you know how they'll have like disclaimers before shows like, please don't do any flash photography. Yeah, don't get out of your seat. They've updated that to a new millennial era, which was now, it was all pre-recorded, and it was heckling's not cool.

But you know what is cool? A silencing your cell phones and staying in your seat. I'm like, is this the new, is this now moving forward? Is everything's gonna be what's cool or not? It's just not like, please don't, please don't, that's your day. Right, right. Public one.

I get it. You're in cool town. it's either cool or not cool So we watched the show which was great. Yeah Tim Robbins I think you should leave Tim Robbins and only funny thing that's been made maybe the last 10 years on TV Whatever hilarious you gotta watch it. You're the watcher you hate it and if you hate it you were stupid Okay, like that show it to your friends and if it's the kind of thing where you can do like you can end a friendship based on just the opinion. Yeah, if someone doesn't laugh immediately, you're fucking, you're a bad person.

Yeah, you don't get it. Yeah, because you have a privileged life. There's a, there's kind of what's funny. Yeah. So I bunch of like cut scenes from Tim Robinson's, I think he should leave. Oh, great. This is like the best present I ever got.

Cool. That was my Christmas present. And then it gets ready for the Q&A part, right? And that's where real sparks are gonna fly, right? That's where we're really getting excited for. Right. But they start wrapping up the show all awkwardly. Like it's only been an hour.

What the fuck you got? Like we do shows. Now I'm thinking, well, at first I thought you're doing putting on a better show than a road rage, but now I'm thinking, first, why would you be wrapping up so soon, right? Right, it's too bad they have that heckling disclaimer at the, right, or else it's not cool.

Right. I would've done it if it's not allowed. But you don't want to be ride bad. You don't want to be considered not cool. Right. And then I look down, I feel something strange. I look down at my beer. To show and I see a,

bobo bobo bobo. Oh no. In the beer surface of the beer, bobo bobo. You know? Right, Jurassic Park. I don't know that. Type stuff. Like what's going on?

And it starts thundering and pounding. And I'm like, are we, I turn my girlfriend, honey, are we in an earthquake? What's happening? Can you look at Twitter and see if we're in an earthquake? We all get up kind of slowly and move to the windows. They found me. I don't know how, but they found me.

There's this mass of gigantic lesbians paired up two by two, like they're getting on to know as dark, but only the hippos are being saved. And only the women, hippos are being saved, crammed into each other. Oh no. Their face is all pierced to shit. Oh no.

You know, you can't change or going from one to the other. That's that lesbian lip lock ring piercing change. Connecting a lot of orphuses by chains. All kinds of orphuses they look like Bob Marley or Bob Cratchett. Which one is it? Ebony's, which is Ebony's or Scrooge's friend? Cratchett. Cratchett. No, Cratchit is the one that's alive.

Bob Marley was the one, his partner. You should see the Jacob Marley. Jacob Marley. Yeah, Jacob Marley. Jacob Marley, except Fat and Lesby. Yeah. Rob Marley, Rob Marley's Ebenezer's Scrooge's partner. Well, we know who the lazy ass in that business relationship was.

Oh, then the people on stage go, everybody get out of here. We gotta get out of here because there's a lesbian comedian performing next. We gotta get out of here. Oh no, it came with an entourage. Next came with a stampede fat lesbian comedian. The reason we didn't get our Q&A for some good comedian was because some... Hipopotamus factory, was she like headlining or... I don't know. You could, I mean, you looked, I looked down,

I'm like, all right, well, I know who's coming up next here. Good stuff. Teckling is not cool. What about if they just hear me out? Okay. What if they freeze the fet they just hear me out? Okay. What if they freeze the fetus? The finis. Sure.

Right? Okay. Let's just hit that little guy with a freeze gun. Okay. And get him out. And then put him in the deep, put him in the sub-zero, out back. Yeah. In case you want to throw him out again.

There. When the world gets better. Yeah. You know, when your situation has improved. There. When the world gets better. Yeah. You know, when your situation has improved. Right. We're just gonna freeze the little motherfucker. Yeah. Put him on the deep, put him in the deep freeze.

Put him on ice. Sure. Right. What's the problem? What could the problem with that be? Look, there's room next to the otter pops. No one's getting killed. No one worry about it.

Yeah. We're hitting this little motherfucker with a freeze pop. We're just, it's just paws. Yeah, worry about it. Yeah. We're hitting this little motherfucker with freeze pop. We're just, it's just paws. Yeah, put on paws. Yeah, put on paws. Put on paws. So do this in Ivy. Yeah.

We should all be so lucky. Everybody's, everybody's so upset about all the subortion. For where? Well, I mean, never know. There's not enough. There is too many. I don't really know. Right. I don't know what the bear upset about, there is too many. I don't really know. Right.

I don't know what the bear upset about. What I do know is like most things, I took a little poll of the audience. Oh, you did. Yeah, I said, are you pro choice or pro life or pro asteroid? 55, over 50% pro asteroid. Yeah, sure. Okay, that's what I thought.

Right. Once again, I got a pretty good finger on the pulse of America. Yeah, yeah. America that is always getting steamrolled into pretending to give a shit about this stuff by obnoxious assholes. Well, what do you think about this? Well, don't you know that it's actually just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm telling you, it doesn't matter to me in what, I mean, I kind of, I kind of have a ranking of which order I would like everyone to die, but at the end of the day, if the asteroid comes, I'm fine with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, I'm not married to it. I have my personal order of how I would rank everybody if they're getting fed into a wood shipper, but at the end of the day, as long as everyone goes, I'm happy. That's fun.

As happy as I could be. You know what I mean? And like I thought, that's 50% of people. Well, you know, I understand both sides a little bit, but to be honest, I just wish they would all go away. Yeah, sure. Got it. Yeah, I'm good with that.

You good with that? Yeah. Everyone good with that? I am. They leaked the Supreme Court thing. You see that? A couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Well, that's what I like that. That's what all this is about, right? Yeah.

Oh, but they're going on a sex strike. Oh, yeah, you get that's what they were screaming outside of the comedy show. Oh, We're going on a sex strike. Yeah, all of all the all the with that voice. Yeah. Yeah. got a how dare you man take advantage of our wounds I mean I'm like handmade stale. That's me. I'm raped by the most successful man in society Yeah, I'm a prisoner to my womb and I will never have sex with you again Hey, Selma Me I'm not putting out anymore. Me, Maddie and Selma. Get one, Pat. Job with the HUD.

We're all going on the sex strike. The Gullies, the girls of the Gullies. The Gullies. I swear to God, you know, the 1984 crowd, like everything's 1984. Yeah, I know. That's 1984, I'm sure. Then they turn around and go, you know what, maybe you just shouldn't have sex

until you find somebody to marry and have a kid like, do you not? Did you read the book? Cause that was a big, junior anti-sex league was kind of a foundational element of the tyrannical control that they had on people. And that, what you're doing, what you're establishing right now, you stupid, you midwit idiots.

I don't think you read the book. I don't think you read it at all. Yeah. You read Harry Potter and thought, Oh, I was, I was, Sam's difference. The Queen of Hearts, all the hippos from Fantay,

they're all going on a sex strike. Mm-hmm. When will they be open for business? Maybe never, Sean, if you don't vote, right? Okay. You might never have sex with these pigs again unless you straighten your, unless you get Windows 11.

Get your head out on straight. Some people consider clothes shopping to be retail therapy. For this lady, it's been the opposite of a healing experience. Because she's so fat. Well, sure. I mean, just, if I have any fat watch, nice and early. Nice and early.

Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. What have you done for me lately? Yeah. Mom, right. You know, what have you done for me lately? Yeah, right. You know, what have you done for us lately? There's a really common misconception of, oh, well, there's multiple sizes. You can just grab one, which hurts even more when none of them are yours.

It says, Oxnam, 20, a plus size budding entrepreneur, an engineering student in her junior year. This is writing these rough pieces about being fat on mine. Yeah, a budding entrepreneur that means you don't have to have done anything to be described that way. Just a fat cell. Yeah, a, yeah. It's clothing.

Everyone's felt it to something green entrepreneur being the thought, no matter what you do, the diets you try, the sports you play. What's fucking sports? What sports are you playing at 20 and you can't find a size that fits you? Yeah. Sumo wrestling? Right.

I mean, serious. Genetics. Doing the workouts you do. Maybe the genetics bag will fit. They're gonna make a clothing line too. Yeah. Why you look like shit? Genetics.

Right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And the IMF said that it presents a series of challenges for the country and the region. Oh, we might kick you out of the central African Republic. Yeah. Africa. Yeah. You guys better not, I mean, you're going to run out, if you don't take your economy seriously, you're going to run out of babies to rape, to cure your AIDS. Yeah.

You know, they got some bigger... How much does that baby cost right now? This sky's the limit. Hacking off albino's limbs and shit, you know. Yeah. I don't know what countries do that. I think... I know what happens over there.

Funny. Yeah. Wouldn't that be funny? Yeah, it's hack off. I mean, to everybody about the albino, I guess. Well, you know, he's had a good life. Or not a bad. Or not a bad.

Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad.

Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad.

Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Or not a bad. Yeah, digital cow, digital cows, NFTs. Right. Do you even, can you milk an NFT? I don't know. Can you get AIDS from an NFT? Mm. What is the, what is the sense of that? Yeah. Africa, you guys might, you guys might, you know what? You guys might be a real laughing stock around the world.

God, if you do what you're doing about thinking about Bitcoin, that's how threatening it is. Yeah, that's how to come out to Africa. Right. Come on up. I get it. Africa. Well, we got to keep. What was I saying? Guys, you're doing so well, just you're about to derail yourself. Yeah, you're about to break through. Yeah. We had some real good ideas for windmills for you guys that would maybe not to AIDS so much. Patrick Johnson, cute to be in on. Now you guys, so I did this, I did this trans debate panel with Mr. Girl.

I was supposed to be moderating. Oh, people from screaming at each other. Yeah, because I don't think I would be good at that. Yeah, I didn't get a hurrah up out of that. Whatever you are. Right, you know? Yeah, non- don't think I would be good at that. Yeah, I didn't get a hurrump out of that. Whatever you are. Right. Yeah, non-bottling in my mind. Yeah.

And Buck Angel was there that trans porn star. Okay. I was so discombobulated when I met him that I honestly didn't know which one he was going to which. Oh, you know, so what's the answer? Well, he has, well, so what's the answer? Well, he has he has a vagina Okay, but he's like a big muscular Santa Claus looking guy Okay, so I was like oh mr. Buck Angel and I was like did I meet was I joking when I said that that I just say something

I was so fucking scrambled terrified of all this trans shit. Yeah, so Brianna woo was supposed to be on, which would have been hilarious, but she bailed because she had to work on her video game that she's been working on for 10 years, just like that. But it was funny because, on the debate, a trans like young trans person came on

who not to be offensive again, but I didn't know which way they were going either. Yeah, it's, I don't know. You know, they're like, oh, it changed my life doing, like Destiny was going, yeah, get on puberty blockers, they're reversible and I was like, the whole time I was like that monkey meme, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

and then Nick Riccato is there going, no, no anything until you're 26. I'm like, oh, I don't know what that's. 20, it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The question is peer pressure to do it. Yeah, in some circles. You're confused. I don't know, maybe I'm a girl. Maybe I'm a girl, I don't know. Maybe that's the solution. Man, yeah, you gotta, you're gonna have to do some serious fucking proving to me before I think that's probably a good idea

to let somebody that young make that kind of decision. I waited till my dog hit puberty to fix her. Yeah, okay. Cause I didn't want to fuck up her growth. Like, I don't want to do it to a human being. And I was like, oh, God. Yeah, no problem. But then, this trans person came on and they're like, well, I've been on it since I was

a teenager and they seemed really sharp. Sometimes people talk, they must be transitioning to a man because everything they were saying man. Yeah. It's like, you know, on point and all of the trans woman to be like, look at me, my Instagram, ah, do you think this looks cute? Yeah, okay.

We know what happened here. Yeah. So they said, they said, well, I've been on it since I was a teenager and it's like changed my whole fucking world. Yeah. Because you can't like, if you're a guy going to a woman, you can't go to male puberty, then you look all beat as a woman, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that offensive? Well, I mean, if you're gonna have male features that aren't gonna go away. Yeah, you can't give her to that shit. No, you know, and also you have to learn how to talk. You can't shorten your vocal cords to my understanding. Well, you know what I mean? It's in your arm tendons.

I'll tell you that you can do that. You can do that what I mean? It's in your arm tendons. That's how you do that. You can do that. So then I thought, well, wait a minute, this guy or lady might be onto something. Right. So yeah, it does fuck up everyone else, but you know, fuck them, I get mine. Well, I went all the way around

because I was like, yeah, no way for kids. I was on Nick's side and then Destiny's like, yeah, let the kids do it. And I was like, oh man, now I'm even more on Nick's side. But then this Transpression came on and said, well, I did it and it works for me. Yeah. And I thought, yeah, if I was them, it would be, it worked for me, fuck everybody else.

That's as American as a kids. Yeah. Hey, why, how can I disagree with that? Yeah. Ah, fuck them. Well, what about all those people who are heard? What about me? Yeah, it works for me. Huh, good point. That's a good, what about me? Who heard? Work for me.

Huh, good point. That's a good point you got there, sir or ma'am. Okay. Whatever it is. Glad you're happy. Yeah, but it was fun. Oh, that's a fun panel. Yeah.

And I hope everyone had a good time. How long did it go? Lot, like three hours. Oh yeah. Yeah. Let me see what I got here. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, check this out. Yeah. I'm at the end of this, uh, this video about Chappelle. Uh, oh, by the way, Shonny's sold out and we already talked about this on the bonus episode. Yeah. Did you see any of them?

Yeah. Shonny's sold out. They sold out way too fast. I'm going to have another Shonny's mint on, I think, on the 17th. So a week, a week from that 10 days from now. Next episode, that day, I'll have a new Shawnee's mint. The rarities are going to be tweaked a little bit. And then I'm going to have a smooch day. A smooch your Shawnee's day that will really mix things up. Boy, you've got this whole thing.

There really is a roadmap. I got it all in my... I told you on the bonus episode that all these Indian scammers and like NFT bros are hitting me up like, so what's the roadmap for the utility of the Shawnee and mine? Oh, that's a good idea. Making you drive off a cliff, I don't know. It's fun though, I'm gonna re-imagine NFTs for everyone. Okay, and make them a little more fun and less static.

More interesting. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. They're two, not just a JPEG. Okay? This is gonna be a, this is gonna be a shawty that you have, like a pet that you have.

That you'll be sad. People talking about, why is, oh, it's just a clump of cells, right? Yeah. People are sad when like comic book characters die. That's not real at all. I know. What do you mean?

What do you mean? Why are you? Vito said that to me on the biggest problem. He's like, why are people even sad? Like, bro, you're fucking having, you're having struggle sessions about Star Wars. That millions of people are watching. Oh yeah, people get, man. What are you thinking?

You can take almost anything in your life and just really anthropomorphize the shit out of it. And really make it real if it's not. Okay, here's the Chappelle video. It's a minute. On Wednesday, I identified the man. They say here's the Chappelle video. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute.

It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute.

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It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's a minute. It's Video footage obtained by Reuters shows the set up a little bit according to an ABC report. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters.

This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters.

This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. This is Reuters. was criticized last year by some who saw it as a ridiculing transgender people. Supporters of the Committee. Yeah!

Look at the face! Yeah. There's Vito. Yeah. Is that a camera up in his face? Yeah. Look at how aggressively I'm shouting down at this other smaller person. Yeah.

hilarious. That was probably the last time I bicep was pictured. Well, wielding your very offensive, Dave is funny sign. That's great. That's great. And my criminalized sobriety shirt that people thought meant I was sober. Right. No, sorry to say, guys.

That's good shit. That's what it means. Okay. Good shit. Let it means. Um, okay. Good shit. Let me read some comments. Before the sex strike. Oh.

They've always been on strike. Sex strike. Every kind of strike, women. They've been on, I mean, they're on a permanent sex strike. That's like their whole deal. That's what makes them so annoying. Hey, can I get some sex? I'm on a sex strike.

Okay, well, we have to go negotiate your terms for the strike to be over. Right. It's going to take like three or days. So is it a different strike? Is it a different, does it, the strike change periodically? I think it's just what the strike is about. Well, I don't know. I think it's fat chicks not understanding

that they're already on a strike. You can't go on another strike in addition to that strike. You guys are always on strike. You're always pissed off about everything. It takes, it's always about the contract needs to get renegotiated. I'm not getting enough, I'm not getting enough of this. Yes, fun.

I'm not getting enough free dinner. not getting enough of this. Yes, fine. I'm not getting enough free dinner. We're on a lockout. Yeah. What do you, you can't go on strike twice. I mean, how was this different than all the other times? Well, you have to end the first one before you can, before you can go again. I mean, you can't do two strikes for the list of one. Different things.

I don't know how many unions you can possibly belong to, but oh, like the plumbers can go on strike and the electrician, if your electrician plumber then you're on strike twice. I don't think you're gonna say. Well, no. I mean, if plumbers are in members of two different unions somehow, I don't know how many, you know,

that's what I'm saying. It's like in one person, the labor representative to be on multiple strikes at one time. I don't think so. I don't think so either. I think that you're just on, maybe there was a moment of overlap time

when the normal sex strike that women are always on ended, and there was a nanosecond where they were fucking anything and everything, behaving like gay men. And then this new abortion strike happened. And now, so it's just a series of reasons. It's just a series of reasons you're saying, women have been on a sex strike since,

they were created by Satan in the year 6,000 BC. There's never been any different. There's never one time where it was like, oh yeah, you want some sex over there? Yeah, yeah, sure. Always been on strike, anyway. God, some sex over there? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Always been on strike. Yeah. God Satan really is a bad guy.

Happy Mother's Day. Mm. Yeah. Shuddani says, bonus episode, tampon stealing idea day. Oh yeah. Why would you not do it on Bloody Sunday? Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh boy, should do that.

Mm. Jeff M's is the podcast, hello internet, put out exclusively episodes exclusively on vinyl. Remember what you were talking about, time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's see. Somebody's gonna find out. Peter says, right of retard, more like it.

Hey Dickenshion, I've been listening to you all since biggest problem number one. And I've never felt a need to write in until that British twat called in. Right of reply sounds like the biggest F slur. I've ever heard and I've asked, I've tasted both male and female penises. Oh, wow.

I sincerely hope he kills himself. Oh, boy. And rackets gets to watch in Stardew Valley. Oh, good. Tell Sean to go fuck himself since he gets it too easy from other writings. Okay. Loving kisses.

Don't you think that would be interesting? A smooch's currency in the Seaniverse? Yeah. I mean, I, I get, I don't think I can stop anything at this point. So, okay. Let's see. What else I got here? Benjamin says, check out this, says don't park too close. Check out this shit. Uh oh, I think I know what this is gonna lead into. See how slow I am? Yeah, you know, I didn't see that.

Look at this. Don't park too close. I'm fit, that's... Do it too, please. I'm back in. Today in fat news. Please don't park too close. I'm fat.

You know what? Like, I would honor that. Yeah? Yeah, because they're just gonna ding your door. Please don't park too close. I'm fat. They're giving you a warning. I think that's fucking great. I fully support this.

Yeah. They put it like rides at their own eye level on their driver's side. Yeah. I mean, you can see that, you know, if how fat do you have to be to throw that on your on your window? Pretty fat and with a pretty good sense of humor.

Well, you're fat. I'd like to meet this person. Here's another one. This one is from, let's see here. I'm fat, all caps. Hahaha. Just in case you think it's just regular fat. Yeah, yeah.

We're talking Orca fat. Let's see here. And if you can name that movie, this is from Star Trek. You really take for granted how fast your normal hand is at doing internet. Yeah. Until you can't do it anymore. Yeah, but you'll have like superpowers when you come back. Yeah, I hope so.

Because you'll be a lot more dexterity. Okay, this is a scene from the new Star Trek, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, that's a big, wow. They're eating good. I've seen some of this. She hasn't gotten that big, has she? Who is, is this a fat girl on Star Trek? You see this is Photoshopped. I don't know. I haven't seen it. I know what I've seen

I've seen some episodes like she's chunky, but I mean nothing is it? Nothing like that. She's like a like a fucking And yeah, I mean she's hold on. Let's see Star Trek fat girl. Hold on, let's see. Star Trek, fat girl. Oh, you're saying that's a Photoshop. Well, let me see what she, yeah, what she normally looks like is, yeah, that's what she normally looks like. Okay, from what I've seen.

From what I've seen. Fick news. That's pretty well done. I mean, let's, it is good. Okay, this one I know is not fake. This is sent in by anonymous. Let me put it this way. That seems like it's possible. If you give a few seasons,

yeah, of getting paid a lot. I hope so. Like Scotty. Yeah, somebody, you know, somebody could get that big. Uh, this is from Lovlaf. Enough genetics. I'm a female. And part of a clothing Facebook group has got premium content for fat watch, stuff like this, and men cross-dressing. And the chicks just hyping them up.

Okay, let's see what they're talking about in this clothing group. Oh, what in the fuck is going on? Okay, I'm gonna cosplay Snow White. Say about that at an event. At an event. Peter Dinklage. Wait, what?

Oh, the dwarf? Yeah. You're gonna get eaten. Snow White ate the dwarves. Your little sanctimonious son of a bitch. Snow White in a $7 menu. Okay, I'm gonna cosplay Snow White at an event. Yes, this is appropriate for this event.

Lowell. Oh, God, is this a swingers ball, do you think? She's a big woman wearing like a lingerie, a wrecking ball. That's a wrecking ball. The costume is in a 4x. It's very roomy. I could have gone with 3x. No.

I think you needed every bit of that 4x. Yeah. The wig is surprisingly good quality for the money. Oh, yeah, that's, that looks great for the money. Yeah. What do you think that this woman's on a sex strike? Yeah, I mean, sex strike. I hope so. It's more like a closed-in definitely. I did one in with and without the wig. Oh, well done. One with just the wig. No. What? And what, how does this resemble snow white?

Can't the like the pedophile people get on this? This is sexualizing. I'm a cartoon. A cartoon. A cartoon. A cartoon. In the snow white, like 15 or something. She's supposed to be young.

She's supposed to be young. She's supposed to be young. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what else I have here. Wow. Oh yeah, okay, this is just like the stomach hanging down. This is self fitness board, certified personal trainers,

whatever that means, who are gonna tell fat heifers they are fit because they can exercise without losing weight, pictures and pictures attached. This is the self magazine's fitness board. Wow, okay. Great, ditch the gym. Learn to master running up hills. Do you need like a guru

for that? This is the, this is the front. This is the cover of Women's Running magazine. The great outdoors special issue. So there's outdoors. Most of the issues are not about running outdoors. Yeah. They're about running late, running your mouth, I guess, maybe running on a tablet. Yeah, a buffet. I don't know what they're about, but they're not. This is the great outdoors. Women's running 15 best shoes for you this fall. The ones that don't blow out. You need all of them. Learned a master. Yeah. And then 15 bears a new shoes for the last half of the month. This is horse shoes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You need to go to a blacksmith or a fairie or whoever. Learned to master running up hills. Okay. That's so great. From playground to training ground.

Have you ever had any difficulties with running up hills? Nothing that I felt like. I mean, did you need to learn any kind of? Nothing I felt I had to master. I mean, maybe when I was like three, three and a half, I might have tripped going up a hill at one time, but then I figured it out.

You know? Cause of this giant black lady came along and helped you. I said, Sean, I've noticed you had some trouble running up this well. Yeah, I don't know, you know, from playground to training ground. Hi, kids in fresh air on unexpected urban trip. Maddie, what are you doing?

What are you doing? Look at that. She has her Kong in her mouth like a straw, so she can pant and breathe while they get with their mouth open what are you doing? You're no no no no it's funny it's hilarious anything that makes noise can you get down for me please here okay do you go over there?

oh go lay down hey Maddie come here good girl get packing healthy ideas for lunches and post run snacks. So if you do that size and you, if you manage to make your way up a hill. Healthy ideas for lunches and post run, well, yeah. The motivation also is there's a whole picnic basket up there.

Get up that hill. I mean, a healthy snack. What do you suppose that is? Good parfait. Big pie. Maybe gluten free though. The bag is fine. A cube of salt.

Salt lick. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you know, it should be, come on, I'm not for encouraging to exercise, but it's, it's done in a way that it's done in too much of a, you're, you're fine as his way. I mean, I think that, I think that there's more stomach hanging off of this stool than the legs. Those panties were an entire wet suit. The rats just shredded like get the incredible Hulk. It gets big

as a little short stay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. God, why don't you walk into the tattoo part? Like a cachaink jack nose shit. I was just going to say that's yeah, it's in expensive lady. It's like Jeff. Yeah, and both semen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we already saw her.

Oh, that's the well, it's no white takes the cake for sure. Look at that really. Oh boy. I might have one more. Don't park too close. Oh, the super fit hero. All right. This is from Ryan. Ryan.

Let's just say Ryan. Super fit hero. What's going on with the legs? In the left side. What's going on with the legs in the left side? What indeed? How is that? What is hanging? What is happening here? What is hanging? Those are lymphedemas. I guess like, they're like hot pockets, but a fat and sludge that collect in your body. Yeah, could it be that loose on her leg that it hangs down past her knee? Yeah, they hang like turkey giblets.

Oh my God. Just like a packet of fluid that fat people get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That are like detached from their anatomy. Yeah. Okay, let's see what this, let's see what this fresh hell is. Super fit hero. Super fit is one word.

Yeah. So they're not satisfied with being fit in any size. Now they're super fit. Yeah. Super fit hero. That's the name of the brand. Recognized that straight size, straight size people, straight size, have tons of options. Come on. I mean, you guys have somebody read this before you post it. Please, don't you know who's out there? Can they think of options? Sure.

The straight size people have active wear. What is active about this wear? Straight size people, meaning like, you mean like a average weight? I don't know what straight size is. That's right, because there's not saying tons. Yeah, I think, no, I think there are equating it. Oh, straight size is like straight, sex, you're out like normal. I'm, you're normal sized.

Yes, they're saying, like they're using straight size. It says normal, I think, yeah. You're right, I think you're right. But that the highest size is an extended plus, we're not being served. So they made a huge change to fix. They weren't being served because those people were else for getting served some food.

This is gotta be a joke, there's too many puns. So they made a huge change. They worked with actual super and in-finifat models, including me, to make sure they were making pieces that actually work for us, and the pieces are amazing. Look, no, go back up. Okay. I want to deconstruct this sentence right here.

So they worked with actual super and in Finifat fit models. So take out, take out and in Finifat because there are two different models, right? So are they saying they worked with actual super fit models and super fit is big and in Finifat is bigger. Yeah, and Finifat is like 6x plus. Yeah, but super fit, they're actually,

super fit is a huge person, right? Yeah, so it's not big in tall or plus size. Yeah, it's super size. And then in super fit. But then in super fit. And well, they're fit models, but they're supers. So they're big fat pigs. Okay. They wear. Oh, so there is such a thing as what they go, just a fit model. I know what a

fitness model is. A girl. Yeah, yeah, fuck that could go on a sex strike. How's the, has the term changed just because I mean, like you say like somebody who doesn't know this shit, like me or they're like, oh, no, she's a fitness model. Meaning she's a hot chick who wears like span, you know, like, you might be referencing this. Yeah. If you say fitness model without clarifying that there's straight fitness model. Got it. So it's now because they're all fitness models, it's super fit and then bigger than that. And then a fat fit models.

The fabric is really supportive. And they say fat right in there, which doesn't seem to go along with the whole self-esteem thing. Right. Where does it say fat? Well, no, it's just in fin of fat, right? Yeah, yeah, that's their word. No, I know, but still, who went, how long can that last? What's their lifespan?

40, 50 years. I mean, that's how long it can, they're only getting fat or? Yeah. All right. That's an advantage, that's. That's an advantage. That's. Yeah. All right. That's a nice thought. That's a nice thought. Thank you.

Today in fact news. Thank you for sending those in wolf everyone. Mm-hmm. OK. Jake says, a quick start guide to VR porn from a fellow gentleman. Hello, Dicco. I was watching the biggest problem show today.

And I noticed your interest in the fine art of VR pornography. I thought I'd give some quick starter tips in case it helped. The easiest way to get started is to use an online site, kind of like the one that pour tube sites, but they have the option to interact directly with your headset. I think Chrome now has this functionality as well as Firefox. OK. Site I've used is POVR.com, but I believe there may be other sites that has

fun. Might as well get some use out of that VR hat that I got. Another option is to go the video downloading. This is all very instructional. Most importantly, don't go the cheap route of just downloading some torrents unless you have a source of the high quality versions of the videos, the quality. I'm worried if I get into VR porn, I'm never going to come out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would be the point?

Just live in there. I think a lot of people kind of want to. All the people are so happy they weren't aborted. For sure. Let me see, what is it, 1250? This guy was going to call in today, but then he didn't, cause it's Mother's Day. He figured he'd have some kind of good taste or something. Yeah, I can't tell you he was gonna call in too, but.

Oh yeah, but no, he's not either. No, he's hanging out with his mom. He's gonna call in and talk about his male stripping days. Seriously? Yeah, wow, he finally, he was- Apparently he was- He's stuff about this guy all the- I know, how about that?

How about that? Good shit Okay, I do have an erotic story. Let's do it. Actually, you know what I think I'll wait for for Pony to get here Oh good idea good call What are we looking at in there? What is that picture of? That's a that's an infinite fat model that you're seeing. What do you think? I don't know what I'm, she's modeling a new type of active wear from Hell. Giant pink. Got it. See the, look at the folds. Yeah, the active wear is flesh colored.

Right, because the human body is beautiful. Yeah, or active wears flesh-colored. Right. Because the human body's beautiful. Yeah. Or whatever that thing is. We're all put it up so everyone can see. There you go. Okay. Oh, oh, no, look at this. Look at that poor little dog. You cannot tell me that she hasn't been through like a dozen dogs. She has definitely gone to sit down and then notice the dog was there and could not stop. That's the danger of getting up when you're that big. Is that a Dalmatian puppy? He's got like a 99% chance he will not see adulthood.

Look at how sad he looks. She may start from the death. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too, she's eating all his food. Oh, zoom in there. Oh no. Oh no! That dog does not look happy. Ha ha the saddest looking puppy I've ever seen.

You guys, come on. You ever seen a sad puppy? Don't put me in this picture, guys. Yeah, come on. Can't you get the sandwich to put you or something? Who sent that? I know it's someone in the chat. Six, six men. Oh, see.

I can't believe that was a fake. That Star Trek one. Oh, maybe she's that big on the newest season. Look at this couch. I mean, not her, the couch she's sitting on. Yeah, it's like spilling, it's like someone dropped a bean bag on the couch, spilling over the side. It almost looks like she's sitting in front of it.

Yeah, it's deceptive. Is it? What is that? Like 600 pounds? Yeah. If someone asked you to lift a piano, an upright piano, up and put it on your back and walk around, I would say you're crazy, but these people just, they's in the fucking bathroom and they're standing in the shower with

their scrub brush. I mean, it kind of shows you, it shows you just, I mean, kind of how amazing the human body is. And of course, it causes problems with the fact that like, like her femurs don't snap immediately upon standing is kind of amazing. It's unbelievable. When you're talking that much weight. Yeah. Let's see what else I had here. Women are not, oh God, you have the anti-sex league.

There was a period of time where people were not this insane, right? Yeah, I think so. Every day I see more. Well, you know, people aren't meant to have sex with each other. Like, are you guys? What? You guys? Did you guys forget that we're animals? Well, tell me that you all forgot that, right? Yeah. We're, I mean, I don't know if they didn't teach evolution, were you into school or whatever? Yeah. But there is very little that makes us different from all of these things running around outside, eating and killing each other.

We're primates. Yeah. It's plain and simple. Women aren't meant to have so many sexual partners. How the fuck did they eat then? What did they do before Door Dash? Do you, are they running around before somebody figured out how, right, when the only thing that people know how to do is make a fire,

they're running around going, oh, this isn't helpful to my mental. before somebody figured out how right when the only thing that people know how to do is make a fire, they're running around going, oh, this isn't helpful to my mental. I'm not capable of coping with this. This is all shit that you have made up because you have time on your hands to do nothing and need to invent this psychotic crusade against doing anything.

So you've just taken things that are, that things that are innate to the human experience and Built up and then tie in bang the bad or built up this psychotic mythology around them That is somehow resulting in your unhappiness Driving me nuts Oh, Matt's in there. He says hi Sean hey Matt Grand Admiral fuck face no, mm face now. Yeah. Good shit. God. What? This something that read it liked.

Yeah. Yeah. This fucking, this dummy, let me bring it up. Oh, they're posting Ralph. Ralph picks now. The Ralph extended universe, the Ralph universe grows by the day. Does it? Yeah, it Ralph universe grows by the day. Does it? Yeah, it's full-time Ralph coverage.

Is he just getting fucking in fights all over the place? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, he had somehow there's going to be a boxing match and boogie's going to be involved. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. This was on the front page, you read it. So this guy says, in five years, I have quit porn, lost 42 pounds, got married,

started writing, bought a house, reformed my faith. That fuck, stop doing drugs, trained for and won a fight, got out of credit card debt. Don't think you're stuck, get after it. trained for in one of fight got out of credit card debt. Don't think you're stuck. Get after it. Can I say to imagine how much better those accomplishments would feel on drugs? On his question?

I don't. Legitimate. Is it just me? I just hate, I hate people like that. Like, they, their heads are so far up their ass, bragging about their accomplishments. Like they're, like they're the same narcissistic lunatic before all that shit that was a nightmare to be around. And now they've just done all that stuff and are just been remain.

And they've replaced that kind of crazy behavior with this kind of this, like this constant lecturing. And the only people that appreciate it are other narcissistic lunatics that want to constant, also constantly lecture people on how to be like them. It's the presumption of the, that you want to exceed like this. So turn into motivational speakers almost immediately.

Yeah, and then a lot of them probably cash in on it too. I mean, to some extent. Yeah, they're making minimum wage selling e-books to each other about how quitting porn. It's the quitting porn too that annoyed me about it. Like there's a whole, there's this whole movement against porn. Are you saying anything? Yeah.

Like if you even if you acknowledge porn exists, like, oh, you're a porn addict. Like, I mean, I guess like if it didn't exist, I wouldn't make my own porn. Right. But it's just there and it's easy to get off to and us. And women as well. But actually, I don't think it's, it's a hatred for it is, is universal as the consumption of it between men and women. Okay. They both have built up these ideologies that porn and not the IRS and not the Federal Reserve is the destruction of the American way of life. And like, that's the reason they can't find a good woman. Right.S. and not the Federal Reserve is the destruction of the American way of life.

And that's the reason they can't find a good woman. Right. It's because either she was aborted or because the porn industry got their hooks into her. Now she's a cam whore. Or all the guys' brains are fucked up. Yeah. Men's brains have been so scrambled by porn.

So right away in five years, I have quit porn. Like, what? Yeah. That's more about you, bud. Then it does about anything else. Well, that's also 42 pounds. Why is that? That was the problem. Why is that number one? Like, was the shortest? I don't he's built a little he has. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did he quit porn and then he has not had needed to get out all that excess energy. A porn thing always bothers me. People are so fucking judgmental.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know that. But like I know about, like I know about that whole movement and everything, but the anti porn stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't really, I just don't really think about it. It's like, you kind of got to be, is like porn a problem in like your own life. Like I don't really, you know,

like everybody gets to make that decision. Like the whole crusade, you know, against, you know, or you know, in favor of banning porn and stuff. Ah, man, I don't know. I just think you're, you're fucking too much of a fucking busy body, you're just, what are you doing? Yeah, exactly. What are you doing?

I kind of get to feeling like you quitting porn, doesn't make it good for you unless everyone does it. Like that's the vibe I'm getting. Like you could easily just get back into it, but it will only work for you if everyone gets vaccinated or if everyone quits pornography. Yeah. Wow.

Probably still can't play guitar though. Still hovering on that F chord. Form my faith, stop doing drugs, oh, reformed my faith. He just needed something to fit that width for the sentence to keep his, yeah, to keep his, his, the hypotenuse looking okay of that tri, that right triangle he's got going on. Oh, yeah, I just to be a little bit late. Were there responses to mine?

To your pose? Yeah, some people are, it's like 50-50. It's just, it's funny. It's funny. And then I was like, oh, that's really horrible that he said that to an addict. And then people are actually addicts. We'll come in and say, no, it's not.

Look, if that guy can trip you up, then you're not, you're not. Your sobriety is not safe. Yeah. Has very precarious. No, it absolutely would agree with that entire like if you, if that triggers you to start drinking or, or doing drugs, some asshole, yeah, it's your, your sobriety is built on a, a foundation of sand. Okay, I'll do some of these before Pawnee gets here. Okay, advice on working with women. Hey, Dick and John, call me Ishmael. Oh, Moby Dick reference. Yes, I work with almost all women in a medical field.

Not nursing, don't park too close. I'm fat. Yeah. I like that. I got to do something about these parking spaces. Yeah. It's just not, or the doors or something. Yeah.

It's just all drive bumper cars and be done with it. I work with almost all women in a medical field. Yeah, not nursing. Not in a medical field, not nursing. Okay. What does that mean? Well, I, flabbeda, flabbeda, flabbeda, I mean, yeah, flabbeda, flabbeda, flabotamists,

or whatever. Yeah, flabotamists. Yeah. Flabotamists. Well, if you work at, if you work at a place like Quest Labs, then yeah, it's like fucking two dozen women drawing blood. Oh yeah. There are 34 women and seven men in the department.

Going to work is like sitting in an audience at an Oprah Winfrey show. They constantly laugh at stuff that's not funny. Yeah. They always have migraines. They always compliment each other on their hair, even if it looks dumb. I love it. I'm sure it drives them crazy, even if it looks dumb, Sean.

Yeah. They'll compliment each other on their hair. Only one of the women is good looking. Cans so big, her scrubs don't fit right. But on, no! Wow! She probably talks about that all the time. Oh yeah, are you eating in like a negative way?

Yeah, women with big tits are just insufferable. Yeah. My scrubs don't fit right. It's just so hard to find. It's so hard to find tops of the thin ones and my bathing suits so much. Mm-hmm. Bitch, will you shut the fuck up? The other formerly hot co-worker just had a breast reduction from double D to C. Oh, man. Every breast reduction that happens, we should get penis extensions.

Mm-hmm. We should get a free penis extension. Man should. Geez. This seems to be quite a few breast reductions, right? Yeah, so we should, we have a lot of penis extensions, surgeries coming our way. We can all go out for the pole vaulting team or something. Yeah, just to punish them, right?

In the sentency, like, well, well, well, wait a minute. Before you get, maybe don't get that breast reduction because it's gonna look like shit. Yeah, but they're thinking, I don't want this guys. What, I was she here? Yeah. I don't want to go home to some old monster, don. Right, right.

That's gonna come out differently. True. The department is dysfunctional as hell and they keep hiring more women. How do I convince the managers, women, to start hiring men so I can regain my sanity at work? I'd leave, but it's hard to find jobs in my field. So he's gonna go, he's gonna try to convince the hiring section

of his company to hire more men. I think it'd be a lot easier, be a lot easier just finding another job. I know he's trying to find you. Yeah, but how would you convince them? Probably start them all talking. Oh boy. Thank you. I was hungry. Start them all talking shit. Get all the women talking shit about things. I can't get all women of gossip. They're very, very gossipy. As a species, they always have been. So maybe there were some more men around here.

You laughing at the box of beer? Yeah, I see. So I'm bringing over. I like that. I just had a drink on my way here. I'm sorry. You just had a drink on the way here, did you say? Yeah, it's Sunday.

Yeah, that's true. It's God's day. I think there should be on the way like, did you say? Yeah, it's Sunday. Yeah, that's true. It's God's day. I think that should be. On the way, like in the car. Yeah. Wow. What a hero. I knew if that's why we would get along, Sean.

Sticking it to the, there's nothing like sticking it to the man having a beer in your car. That's what I always say. I've seen a beer in your cup holder before. You see? So this is the problem with the Takati invasion that I have upstairs. Now, these are the only two good beers I have left in the house.

And I did not know that because all I see is a wall of red when I open the fridge. Yeah, so this is it. Oh no. Happy Mother's Day. Do you want one of these? I'm okay, I just have one. If you only have two, I'm not gonna take one.

I would rather you drink both of them, yeah. Yeah, right. Me too, that's what I was. That's the guy, I just had a drink, so I'm okay. How you doing? Good, how are you? Uh, horrible. No.

I mean, constant pain. You almost said good. I, I did all. Wait, I can't hear. This needs to be. You can't hear? Something needs to happen to me. Track it back.

Track these. Try those. I don't know what's all like I know I Collect them just to screw with people so you come in you have no idea what to do Is it a tattoo that you have on your arm? Did I ask you that last time? Yeah right there over there? I have about six. It looks like that tattoo looks like you're just testing the tattoo gun somewhere where people won't see before you do the actual tattoo.

What is it? You can see if a pen works. Yeah, that's it. It does look like a sharpie tattoo. I actually kind of wish it was a little more narrow. Yeah. You know, but you do them and you learn. It's actually a matching tattoo with my brother

Where that close you put them together and you guys transform into like water and no no, so I have a so I was born on the seventh We were both born on the seventh day of the same month, but different years. Okay, so I have his birthday and he has my birthday Oh, that's his birthday. That's his birthday I have his birthday and he has my birthday. Oh, that's his birthday? That's his birthday. That's what she had with that. That's the number. So that's the number.

So those are two numbers, right? So that's the month, that's the day. Okay. I had a friend who was born the same day as her brother. I know. I know who it is. So I talked to her and mother. And mother, right?

Her mother was born. I think they all three, I'm almost positive. They all three share the same birthday. Whoa. Wow. Did she plan it? You can't plan down to plan your mother's birthday. No, but the mother can plan the children's birthday.

I mean, I like squeezing it in. I'm saying the last comment. Right. Only if you can have like planned C-sections maybe a- Yeah. We committed to sections maybe. Yeah. We can commit it to the cause. Yeah. My sister and her husband, I think pulled something like that.

Their first son was born on both of their college sports numbers. Yes. That's the correct reaction. His birthday. His birthday, the numbers, you know, the month was her number and the other number, the day was the father's high school football number. Really? Yeah. But it has to be done. Was it a C section? No. Oh, wow. I know in her mind, she was trying to keep it in until it passed midnight so that he could be born on that day. Wow. And she did, of course. Yeah. That's that's that's leads to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the child was born the most on athletic child ever. This was one of the which is the older one. The older one. He is a bit of a he's not the little one. They've two kids. The younger one is like Bo Jackson. He's very athletic and very arrogant about it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I kill introduce his friends. Like, well, this is my friend. He's the athletic and very arrogant about it. I kill introduce his friends. He's like, well, this is my friend. He's the second best player on my soccer team. He's the first, he goes, what is he about? He's like, is that arrogance or is that just like confidence?

It comes off as arrogance. Oh, I see. It's the tone. It's the tone. It's not a fact. Like kids, sometimes it's just like, well, yeah, yeah, but they don't know that that's not, it's missing some tact, you know, like they haven't learned that. So it's just like, well, I'm just stating a fact, too.

But in his case, it's saying the fact that you conceive of him as you're in your mind as the second best player in the team. And that's it's not all he really likes ice cream or something like that. It's arrogance. If you mention how great you are, it's confidence it's other people mention how great you how great you have to trick them into mentioning how it's

like, I'm a thing then. So I hear, uh, did you have a mother's day today? Yeah. Um, you came from mother's day brunch to be on the show. No, I wish my mom lives in Bay Area. Yeah. The Bay Area. Yeah. And, um, you know, I did what every good daughter does post a picture on Instagram. Oh, yeah. And then I face like, you mother's day. Here's me looking hot, right? Right. And like your mom in the background. I'm going to go into this little bag over here. Get her out of here.

Like she doesn't even have Instagram. Imagine. No, she does. Mine does. Your mom has Instagram? Yeah. Oh, she's probably younger than me. No. No, mom. No. That'd be weird. How do you?

Uh, 32. Oh, no, you're really. I'm so happy. I'm 41. I'm old enough so that everything's falling apart as you can tell. Oh, God. Do you got a little boo-boo? Well, don't call it that.

Do girls like scars? That's for surgery. See, my girlfriend said that girls like scars. And I said, well, not like medical scars like this. They don't. I mean, some scars are hot. Like a scar across your whole face. I matched with a guy on hinge that literally had a scar

across his face, and I liked it. Wow. Like I thought it was cool. I was like, you were like. Much of a scar was it. It was a scar. What have you got in it? A really stupid way.

Like a very villain in a superhero movie like going from here and here and he was telling me how it's like made him insecure in his whole life. And I'm like, oh, fucking kidding me. That's the coolest thing ever. Yeah, he did make me insecure. He was just saying that to get sympathy points. What a liar.

What's the craziest thing a guy's ever lied about to you? To impress you. Oh, God. I mean, I wouldn't know because I probably believed them. Okay, what's the most impressive thing a guy has ever done legitimately that- Should we have asked him? What's the most legitimate thing a guy has ever done legitimately that. Should we have asked him? What's the most legitimate, a legitimate thing to impress me?

Yeah. Like, to flirt? Yeah. And it was actually impressive. Or not. It was the wildest thing. What's the wildest tale he's told? I have to think about that.

I, like, my brain is just right now a bunch of things. What is your brain a bunch of? Are we involved? Alcohols. Yeah. I don't know. I'll think about that. I'll get back to you.

What's one of the actually impressive things. Like the Tinder Swindler. Did you see that guy? I did see that. That guy's awesome. That guy's great. So what did you think? Did you think he was So what did you think?

Did you think he was, what did you think of him? I wanted to learn from him. I wanted to call him up and see if he's got like a protege program for lying to women. I mean, if she loves you, she'll take out a loan for you, right? Well, no. That's like, I don't know what love is, then I guess. If she want to take a loan out for you, she'll take out the trash for you, but then guilt you about it, even if you're a handicap.

Your girlfriend does that? Takes out the trash. No, guilt you're for taking the trash out. Yeah. For me, for her having to do it. She has to do, she does it. Well, I can't take the trash out. Take it with your other hand.

Well, then I gotta work the door and the lid of the trash. It makes no sense, it spills. Take two minutes. Like, yeah, you get whatever's left over for her to do it. The bean can falls out and fucking goes all over. Maybe you can accompany her as she does it, you know?

That's a little pathetic, right? So it's like, you know, moral support. Here I'll get the lead. That's like asking to get cheated on. Following your girlfriend out with the trash. I don't know. I haven't been in a relationship in a while, so I don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me. Yeah, you shouldn't get in a relationship. Never. Yeah, if I had my wife. You can help it. You can help it. Trust me, you'll be. Trust me, you'll be. Trust me, you'll be. Trust me, you'll be. ever if I had my own

Trust me, you'll be happy. There's nothing Donning alone is not as lonely as you think That should be on a t-shirt or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a ring and a wear for yourself for no hilarious t-shirt I have Girl like you getting a boyfriend that's the worst news. Why? Because, you know, for guys, it's like, oh yeah. Did you want me to be happy?

Well, there's provisos. Not at the expense of our happiness. Just don't, you know, you know, because then you start posting on Instagrams like, oh, what is this? Oh God. They say women, God. What is this? Oh, God. They say women are complicated. Look at you. Look at you, men.

I'm so complicated. I can't just be happy for another woman. One of the parts you. Women are notoriously happy for other women, right? Okay, there's a movement. There's a women in power, empowerment. I had one drink. I don't know what's going on. There's a women in power, when empowerment, I don't, I had one drink, I don't know what's going on. There's a women in power, men movement

that's going on that I really like, that, you know, like, I feel like before women used to hate on each other a lot and like pull each other down and like recently, you know, slowly realizing that, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Why are we doing that? Why is this like this competition vibe? Men don't have that.

Why do we have that? Men don't have competition? Not in the sense that women do. Well men have like capitalism. Men have competition over like yeah exactly over like money and business but women a lot of times have competition over attention, attention of men, right? Mm-hmm. So then like I feel like recently they're like we're all realizing like wait a fucking second. And you guys team up like two at a time you get more attention. Exactly. Is that what you're saying? I agree.

Okay, well you read a little bit of news. By the way, do you remember it, Seani's the NFT that we came up with last time you were here? Yeah. They're real now. Oh. And they're sold out. Oh. I'm in demand. Sean's in demand.

He's getting a lot of attention right now. How much money are you making? I don't know. A couple grand. I don't know. You got to set up your account. I know. I'll do it today.

They made like, they made a, we sold 4,000 of them. Oh, shit. Yeah. So how much of that, do you like, how much of that is like profit? What? I don't know. He's the money man. So 100% of it's profits to how much of that is like profit? Well, I don't know he's the money man. So 100% of its profits to him. I didn't do anything.

I did nothing. That sounds amazing. Did an artist who did it and then dicted the development on it and I sat back and and collected. Yeah, exactly was like that for you. Now we're out of it that people bought them. Now we're gonna rug pull them all. Do you want to give me one of those M.T. cans real quick?

Yeah, do you have tobacco? You wanna spin it? I'm gonna put my gum out and I don't see anywhere about it. Yeah, sure. It's all trash. I know. It's a world of trash in front of you.

I know, two boys running a studio. Yeah, boys. Running or studio, I don't know. Okay, two men. Yeah Running or studio, I don't know. Okay, okay Canada is this the first one? I don't know. Oh, no, I want to go with this one first I donated sperm to father 47 kids, but women don't want to date me the freelance baby poor veer

Perveer who claim that an estimated 1,000 women have requested his semen. First started donating his swimmers when he was 22 as he felt traditional sperm banks were cold and clinical. And wanted to know where his sperm was actually going. Although I've had a few women interested in a possible relationship, it never goes anywhere. He claims Gordy is currently on a sperm donation world tour

with recent stops in Scotland, Germany, and has at least three kids in the UK. I regularly receive pictures of the children, so knowing they are doing well is great. He said of his successful work. That makes sense. It's like a comedian tour or something. He just runs out on stage and just comes all over the audience.

Like the Jonas Brothers. Oh, is that what they do? They sprayed that goo all over everybody, remember? No. What? I don't know. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Why did you put this so far? So you don't have to lean back. Oh, it was every time you had it.

Because the camera is like over there. So I moved you over a little bit so the people all look up here. Okay, so here's better. Yeah, there's better. He's just around, he's knocking women up and having them. And he's in their case. Traditional way, yeah, because he thinks sperm banks are cold and clinical. So they're requesting his sperm now?

Yeah, so I mean, I'm assuming he's a good looking whatever guy and women want his sperm and he's thinking like instead of just still making it. He's that good looking. I'm assuming. How good looking do you have to do that? I sort of like for intelligence and all that kind of stuff, aren't they? They want to know like IQ and like what the profession is and all that kind of shit. What happened in the second Marvel movie?

Have any react like you're going to have? Yeah, yeah. I think that would be a good way to do it. I think I would be fine with, because that's like old school, that's very traditional. Yeah. Just going port to port, knocking women up, never contacting them again.

Millennia. It seems like he's doing God's work, I don't know. Yeah. Let's do what's wrong with it. The trad people pick, they're like men and nights, like they pick the fifties as their traditional Right, their time to worship and fetishize But a lot of things have been traditional over the you know, yeah, this is like Melvillian

Trad life, right, you know, right you're out hunting whales It's guys hunting a different kind of 50s not 1950s Okay, it's not hunting his donating But he's donating donating like warm set of cold. Warm semen? Yeah. I don't think that's going to. It's working for him. I haven't been going. You're a little jealous. I hope everyone on those contracts is like, you know, they come after him for like fucking child support. Well, he's time up and court. Look, if you don't,

no, I know you can't, I mean, if there's contracts and everything, right? I mean, yeah, he just makes an arms length transaction, you know, here. Do whatever arms length. A person to person, you know, like no, no intermediary, you know, see men. If you, if you owe one kid child support, that's a U problem.

If you owe 50 kid's child support, 40, 43, 43, that's their problem. Like sure. Take, take a 43. That's right. It's a donation. So he doesn't, he doesn't know that many thing. He just, you know,

donate to his beautiful sperm. Oh yeah. That's you a specific bank. No,, you know, donates his beautiful sperm. Oh yeah. That's a specific bank. No, no, no, no. To the women directly. No, to the women line. I don't know you could do that. Oh, don't.

Yeah. Jesus. Can we do that? Yeah, they probably wrote up a lot of money. I hope they at least wrote up a contract. It's a napkin. It's like, yeah. Jesus don't go after me for trial and support.

Yeah. At least have the napkin notarized. Do something to protect yourself, Jesus. Okay. We'll pay you a lot of money for that. Like 10K. A lot. Yeah, but there's a catch.

You can't jerk off at all. Otherwise. That's not true. Yeah, I looked into it. We've had this discussion. And a guy who used to do it wrote in and said, there's all kinds of like requirements. You can't drink.

You can't drink. You can't do drugs every day. You can't beat off every other day though. You can't beat off for how long before you donate. Well, how do they, I don't know. They would have trained as many semen in there as well. And you would want healthy semen. You don't want cocaine to fucking child. Well, the semen could be on going nuts. It'll be the fastest swimmer. Yeah, highly motivated. They won't shut the fuck up. But it turned, it really turned me off in the whole semen,

donating, all the industry, all the rules. It's like willing to go for it. But yeah, who wants to, uh, so constraining? I had a couple who wanted me to donate an egg a few years ago. It was this Persian couple that, you know, like we were friends for a long time and I knew them from like when I was in college and the woman couldn't have a child. So, you know, they invited me to lunch one time and I was like, okay, I thought we just like had lunch and they like brought it up. They were like, this and this and that. I was like, how do they bring that up? They were like, we can't, we've been trying and, you know, we got, we went to the hospital. It turns out like she can this and that. I was, what did they bring that up? They were like, we've been trying and we went to the hospital, it turns out like she can't have children. And so we were thinking to do it this way

and we were thinking like you would be a good candidate which I was so honored. Like that's a great compliment. Yeah. I was with a guy at the time and he told me that like he wouldn't want me to do that. And they were willing to pay a really good amount of money. Wait, the guy you were dating?

Yeah, because he was like basically, because he said basically you would have a half child somewhere out there in the world and I want your first child to be with me. Well, now we're broken up. I couldn't make it much. I couldn't make the shit out of money. And I couldn't make it.

How much were they gonna pay you like 50 grand? No. How much? More? So I know that's what I'm starting. No, less. Less. A hundred. 70. 70. What year was that? Damn. That's a lot of Bitcoin. Four years ago. Oh, damn. And I so I said no to them and they came back a few months later and they asked me. Say an art ball. No, no, no, no, because I, you know, like the guy I was with, I was

very committed and like very serious. I was okay. Even your eggs were under his control. Yeah. Also, if you're the serious, he was like very, you know, like very against it, I was like okay. We're good at saying no. Men.

Yeah. I don't know. Give us a scenario. I can know that right away. I can get a yes out of a guy if I want to Any who it's invasive isn't it getting your eggs out? I Have a way that's that's more pleasant than the clinic if you're ever interested But Yeah, I in the moment I kind of looked into it for like a little bit and it seemed insane

Yeah, so yeah, that was actually kind of like it played into it played like a little bit and it seemed insane. Yeah, really? So yeah, that was actually kind of like, it played a part into me saying no also because it seemed very insane. So they, don't they get a bunch and then they implant a bunch with semen and then they, Whichever works.

Yeah, and then they get a bunch that will work. And then they implant it. And they implant some of the ones that worked in you because they don't expect them all to survive. But some of the ones that worked, they just freeze. Is that right? Yeah, okay. That's why I said in the beginning of the show,

what if the parent-plant parenthood just freezes the fetus? Because no one has a problem with that, with the IVF, they're like, well, they're frozen. We didn't throw them away. We'll just froze them in time. Those, what the fuck is the difference? Well, those people, they're probably finding about IVF

for the first time today, right now that you just said it. No,, Tark. People in their morality just drive me insane. Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, happy Mother's Day. There's so not Mother's Day. There's so not Mother's Day. Anybody says, well, that's evil. I go, okay. Abortion.

Anything. Okay, well, what are you doing? Well, well, not evil. Let's break down then. You tell me, I'm so unclear on where the evil part begins and ends. I need you to explain it to me. What's the precise definition of evil? So it's fine and right.

Different for everyone. Because you don't want to say that it's not, but it still seems like the same to anyway. Yeah, I mean, this is not a great time right now for women's ability to choose for themselves as far as abortion goes. Yeah. I mean, we don't know what's going to happen, right? It's something like some document leaked, right? This is a pre-imcord. Yeah, yeah. So they're going to overturn it. They didn't say that. Some document leaked, right? Like their decision. Yeah. Well, we don't know what exactly leaked or at least I don't, but it seems like it's not a final decision. It's just like a leaked document that then

like got viral and now people start talking about. Yeah, it's like their draft of their decision. Some like that. Yeah. That they're going to like overturn. Yeah. So it's, I mean, it's pretty funny. It's pretty funny on the one hand that everything that everyone said about Trump was right. Like all of the guys that he put on there did over. Well, that's, well, everybody, why do I have egg on my face, you know? I mean, everybody has been, the Supreme Court has been activists for quite a long time.

I mean, that's why this become, just they just, because everybody, they'll just vote down the party line and you've seen it in prior administration this way they support. It's like, this is a pretty big party line though. Like they weren't so aggressive before when it was all Republicans on the court. It was like, oh wow, okay.

You guys are serious about being conservative, all right? Yeah. Thanks a lot. So, thought we had an in for getting people elected in 2022, 2022, but I guess not. So if that gets passed, then that'll be a federal also, which like all the states will just be overturned. No, of course. Case or oversaw it'll be overturned, which we'll put it back to the states.

So I don't really think that much will happen. Yeah, because like so the States can still have their own. Yeah. Right. Yeah. For example, I saw that like Florida drive for like an hour and a half. Right. Some States travel.

If you want to see the country, if you want to go on road trips, some States based their laws on the federal decision. Like as soon as it becomes federally illegal, then it just reverts like, yep, illegal statewide. Yeah. I saw that Florida said, four and a half months. Up until four and a half months,

you can have an abortion after that. It's illegal. And I mean, I don't know. That's fucking a long time. I think that's a fair amount of time. That's a long time. I think, I mean, they should be no limit. It should be, I don't know if I'm on 20 years, 30 years.

Retroactive, retroactive abortions. So this is even how to be your kids. So it's like, there's a lot of net, there's a lot of net holes. Somebody said that to me on Twitter, oh, you think they should throw away kids like they're trash. I'm like, man, I think you're trash. Like, Your mom should throw away.

You don't understand, the murder laws exist for a reason, because I think you all should be our trash. You're a mom. Everyone would be doing it. You're bothering me, making me think about this bummer shit I don't want to think about. Yeah.

How about I just kill you? Right, I can go wet. It's so aggravating. It's so aggravating to me. Oh, so what do you think? Shh. Yeah. It's so aggravating to me. Oh, so what do you think? Shh. Shh. Shh.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Only in case of rape. Oh, you think rapes can skyrocket then? Like, oh, gee, I don't know. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, I was raped.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would love women to have full control over the situation. But then also, there's a point. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There control over the situation, but then also there's a point There's a full there's a there's a certain time that like it gets a little like you know like when it's like five months

And like the baby is like almost fully shaped like you know the brain is shaped the limbs are fully shaped Then it's just a little like Well, Dicey like well. Yeah, like why didn't you think of it a little, you know, faster and sooner? Yeah, it's tough to do. Yeah, it's five months. You missed some periods. But some women are so fat that they don't know. That's actually true.

That's true. Is that a dildo? Oh, that's a modesty cock. I infly, I, a furry came in here and filled my my ball, my test, my scrotum with saline, with like a leader of saline. No, you're lying. No, this really happened. So I had, it's a hollow strap on dildo.

So I put a hollow strap on dildo on my penis so no one could see my penis. I did not need to know all of that. Well, you're asking about it. Yes, no. 100% true. Well, it's not a, I mean, it looks like a dildo, but it's not, it's sort of as a dildo. It looks like binoculars,

because there's like two dildo shape in a metal. I don't know what I'm seeing. How's your eyesight? I terrible. A-ha-ha. Negative five. Oh, yeah. Anyway.

Negative five. Negative five. You can see through time. I have contacts. Negative five? That's crazy. Negative five. You could see through time. I have contacts. Negative five means I can't see through shit. No, hi is bad. No. It's just near side or far side.

No, 15, 20 is extremely good, then 20, 20, and then like 220 is bad. I don't know what you're saying, minus negative five. She's talking about the strength lens. She's talking about the lens strength, right? No, like my eyes are negative five in weakness. So then my contacts need to be negative five in strength. Okay. Well, yeah, that's what I mean.

That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, really. You have no idea what I look like. It's pretty good. I do because I'm wearing my fucking contacts. Can you take them out? No, why would I do that?

Do you imagine I think, would be more kind. Okay. More semen news. Woman rescued after falling in toilet trying to get phone. California woman plunged her head first into a filthy, vault toilet at a national forest after dropping her phone in, then falling as she tried to retrieve it. Honestly, something that I would do. After being pulled to safety, she was then washed down and given a hazmat suit to wear. According to the Brennan Fire Department, the woman

told the rescue crews that she was uninjured and refused medical attention, despite being strongly encouraged to go to the hospital after being exposed to human waste, which can cause inflection. No, I'm good. I'm just going to go back. There's a lot to go continue camping. Yeah. There's a lot of disgusting things that can happen to a person. That might be the worst one I can think of.

Falling headfirst into human shit. I can't think of Okay, let's think about it. What is the most disgusting thing that can happen to a person that Is that ever disgusting? The most disgusting thing ever. I mean disgusting it sit like that they're not hurt by right like getting fucking Yeah, I mean because you know seeing a person with acid get thrown on this probably probably disgusting, but it's fucking yeah, I mean what? But you can't say like falling into a bunch of like animal guts or something. But you're a human human human semen you know, oh god. I mean shit.

Are you kidding me? You're the following to shit then come. Dude, I think because people swallow come, but they don't swallow shit. I rest my case. Wait, you'd rather fall into it. You'd rather swallow come or shit. Come. There you go.

So you agree with me. You would rather swallow come too. It's shit. But pledgingly, I don't want to swallow shit. I mean, I have to play it up like this big, and I'm not gay. I don't know. I hate this wallow guy. I just don't think I,

swallowing shit, I just don't think I'd ever get over that. I heard of this tribe somewhere that in order for boys to turn into men, the ritual is that they have to swallow come. That's America first. Yeah. You heard of,

that's that. It's's America first. Yeah, you heard of that's that it's not Yeah, hey, where are you reading? I think all kinds of like shit like where they have to get bit by bullet ants and shit You know like those kind of things, but I haven't heard of the cum swallow way. Yeah, I mean I Can't I can read that I didn't read it. I heard it what country is it in I forget you forget I I heard it on Okay, I mean yeah, you saw a comi become a man Sandler what about the women I'm that's different. They become a man too Is that the trans test?

I'm a woman now. Here's some calm. Let's see. They should do that. They don't get treated like women. That's all I'm saying. No matter what. A national television. The guy that's swam and women's Olympic. Woman.

I mean that woman. Yeah. I am getting canceled tomorrow. There's an honest mistake. The woman is the way that she looked. Right. Because of her performance. Right. Right. National television swallowcom. Let's go. Yeah. Identifies woman. All right. Here you go. Give me a shot, Klaz. But then I don't think of a...

But your mouth is... I mean, I wouldn't think twice about making women swallow come. But I don't think you want me to say... I wouldn't want a... A biological woman wouldn't want to do that on national television, so that would be unfair. So we would have to come up with a more fair. A biological woman wouldn't want to swallow come on TV. A national TV.

Yeah. Look at all the people watching though. I mean what TV at the I'm not talking about porn hub I'm talking about at least like morey povacers somebody morey povacers. Okay. What's what's next? Funny. What's the next article Canada? Oh speaking of Canada go aloud. Oh wait. No, no, this is the I was at the pigeon. Yeah Wait, so this one is about Canada too. Okay, Canada now willing to punish crimes committed on the moon. Oh.

Mm. Awesome. It's just ran out of things to do. More than 50 years ago, Paula Astronauts left 96 bags of their own waste on the surface of the moon because it was legal to do so. Canadian lawmakers are hoping to change that. Canada amended its criminal code on Thursday to allow for the prosecution of crimes committed

by Canadian astronauts during trips to the moon or on the lunar surface itself. Has Canada been to space? I assume they've been to the guys. I don't think they're really going to the moon. I'm sure they've been to the space stations and things, right? Maybe they hitched a hike with us. Yeah, I don't think they're really going to the moon. I'm sure they've been to the space stations and things, right? Maybe they hitched a hike with us. Yeah, I don't know.

Canada. They're prosecuting crimes on the moon. Canada's criminal code. Canada's criminal code had already included crimes committed by its astronauts, abroad the International Space Station, as punishable by law. But the recent amendment now accounts

for the Canadian Space Agency's participation in the upcoming Artemis 2 mission in which accrued Orion capsule will travel to the moon and back without landing and will include a Canadian astronaut. They've got to just do a fucking fly by and throw shit onto the moon. I fucking hate Canada. That's such a Canada thing to do. Do like a fly by, do a shitty. We'll just like that. We'll just like that. We'll have that long.

Like everything is so perfect in the country. Like they have nothing else to worry about. They're like worried about the waste they're leaving on the moon. They're not even, it's kind of presumptuous. They're not even going to a moon. They're going to fly by. They're going to slingshot around it, right? They're not in the ability to, they're not,

they don't have the ability to waste in the moon. But if we did, we wouldn't do that. Right. They're so, they're so presumptuous. Yeah, that's like their, yeah, that's their whole thing. That politeness is off, it's all phony. It's all cute. I like it.

We should be more like that. We should learn from the great white North. Oh yeah, what did you think about the trucker convoy? How are they arrested? How are they arrested all those truckers who didn't want to get vaccinated? Because they just, the whole, the whole, yeah. Yeah, the Hancock, what did you think about that?

I mean, shit, people should have freedom of whatever they want to put in their body or not. Like, why are you forcing me? Yeah. Kind of feels like gravy. Yeah. Kind of feels rapy.

That's, doesn't it? What happened to that? My body, my choice, shit. No. Yeah, I mean, you got to be consistent about it, right? If I'm pregnant with a vaccine or not a vaccine. I don't know. What if I'm pregnant with a vaccine?

Can I abort the vaccine that I have in my body? Depends who you ask. Yeah. All right. I don't know. I come from a country where we have no freedom of choice. Everything is chosen. It's been chosen for us.

And I came here thinking, yes, I'm going to have all the freedom. I'm going to do whatever I believe in doing. Oh. And now seeing this tremendously reminds me of my country. You know, just like Iran. It's Iran, but yes. Right. It reminds you of that country, America does.

In some ways, which is very... We hate each other because of how much alike we are. Oh. Are countries, don't you think that's true a little bit? In the back end, maybe. What about the back end? Like, like, you know, like the government processes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of similarities. When did you come here? When I was 18. Oh, wow. I'm 28 now. So it's been 10 years. No shit. Yeah. I'm 18. Do people learn to speak English? In Iran, like is that a normal thing or? Yeah, so they teach us English when I think when you enter a middle school, but it's like very

basic, you know, like slowly you start learning. So by the time you graduate high school, you can like, kind of barely put some things together. But I started learning when I was six and like, I just had an abnormally Americanized Household where I was kind of raised like watching friends and listening to back Like the front do they have trained like dubbed voices? You would you would just listen and yeah Right that's like a Middle Eastern version of that India What was the worst part about a rare

Not having freedom of choice, you know like what how would that manifest? It would be so if you can't have Instagram or something you can't have Instagram But let's say say if the government was like, no, of the kind of Instagram, like, for example, I have, which I'm a model, so I have like bikini pictures. And I mean, like my Instagram is not even like, hold on, let me verify that.

It's crazy sexy, like that. Like I don't have any laundry or like nude or implied or like, but it's like even if you're not, you know, going by the Islamic laws, then you could get in a lot of trouble. But for example, for me growing up, I would get in a lot of trouble because in school, especially, I would just question a lot of things that they would teach us. There was a lot of brainwashing in a sense where like, you know, both they teach you the question.

For example, they wanted you to believe in certain things, like believe that the right way of doing things is this. And we're telling you this, so you should believe this and you should not question it. It's been passed down to us and we're passing it down to you. Okay. And it comes from the God and you should not dare to question it. But I was always the kid that would be like, excuse me. Like a lumbar.

Like why? You know, like I'm not saying you're wrong, but just explain to me your thought process as to how we came to this result because it seems like Kind of narrow-minded and the fact that you're not even willing to have this debate with me Means that you don't even know you're just following something that was told There must be love I'm telling you let me tell you she loves She loves being talked to the way you're talking you're explaining right now is yeah

Can you just explain? Like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like They say a lot, a lot. But they say like a lot. That's just saying God, right? Yeah, they say it all the time. Not all the time. If I lived in, you would, get on. You don't. If I lived there, I would say, Ah, it's a lovely, lovely holiday. That's how it was.

I was told the only women do that. Yeah, I do that every time I take a shot. I go, Salute Salute. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's scary some people, some people start running out of the building and some people like it. Are you there during? It's true to your roots.

Yeah, yeah. Are you there during September 11th? Yeah. Was everybody going like, what? Fuck you. What? That's not even, okay, so here's a huge fucking misconception. Iran sounds a whole lot like Iraq, right? So people think Iraq and you guys say Iran is the same shit.

I mean, Americans think that. I know they're different. Good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Americans just think too. Every country in South America is not Mexican. I know, so different. El Salvadorians are so different

than they're fucking Baroque guayas. Right. Yeah, so like, you know, especially Americans like... Well, Park in the Front Yard. You know, that whole region of the world, like the Middle East, you know, like a lot of Americans, most Americans are not very, you know, like informed, or I mean, do you know?

I'm very, I'm exceptionally informed. I get it, no, you're very, you know, like informed or I mean, I get it. I get it. No, you're not. And that's okay. I accept you the way you are. You know, so it's like that whole region just gets taken as one. Yeah. But it's like, you got to remember that some of those countries have done terrible things. And some of those countries have just kind of been like, I mean, I'm not going to like make sure. those countries. I'm not going to like. I wait, that's all of you know, I don't want to start political shit out here, but you know, like, yeah. Okay, so what was, but set, but on 9-11, pretty much fuck turkey. Doesn't everybody agree fuck turkey in that region? No, what do you think about Israel? Here's another thing.

You have to separate the people from the government. Turkey has a problem with everything. Oh yeah. I think if Osama bin Laden had a Twitter account, it would have been very different. As he said, look guys, you guys are all great, but I just hate your government in Wall Street. And everyone would be like, oh, well too.

You know, he actually has a very dry sense of humor. You know? No, I mean. He just skips he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. Oh, I know he was a terrorist. He's a terrorist. Yeah quote unquote right but Good marketing. Yeah anyway. Okay. What were you anyway? What I'm saying is separate the people from the government like the Persian people Don't look at this guy's dirty hair time I have dirtier hair ties I have dirtier hair ties. Totally. What the?

What the? This is a bit... It's just a custom, you have a shit hair ties. I'm all over the... This is a good... It's not a bad hair tie. What? I'm rather wear.

Okay, I guess. Are you in your boxers? No. I just saw that. That was in my boxers, you would know. No. No. Anyways. Anyway. Okay. Go ahead, please.

About those shonies. Yeah, about those. A new mint in shonies. I got a special golden shonie that's mixed in. No boy. Yeah. And we're going to have a smooch fest. Why would you ever need 40 of the same exact fucking pen?

You ever felt the rage of running out of a pen? No, I always steal pins. Like whenever I go to a restaurant, I always feel like I'm the one guy that has... I always take them. I'm the guy that has the pins that everyone in the world steals from. This is the most basic pen ever. I would... I see you're hypnotized by the... I heard it. When the pen basic whenever I would. I see your hypnotized by the wind and the scrap is basic. I can't have never seen somebody order.

Vito bought Vito brought them back. He did. Yeah. All right. This doesn't have a beer here. What the fuck did this come from? I don't know. It's warm.

The suspect told police. Never good. never good enough. You're amazing enough. Can't be that. Is it? Okay, let me see. No, it's, it's warm. Okay, see you.

He wants it. I was right. He wants it. The suspect told police. He doesn't want you to have it. Wait, what happened? I'm reading. Okay.

The suspect told police, give me a lawyer dog. The court says he wasn't asking for a lawyer. The Louisiana Supreme Court ruled Friday that the suspect was in fact asking for a lawyer dog and not invoking his constitutional right to counsel. Orleans Parish assistant district attorney Kyle daily. I mean, lawyer dog. No, give me a lawyer dog. They say he meant give me a lawyer dog like airbud. Yeah, but is there a comma between lawyer and dog? Well, give me a lawyer. Yeah.

Dog or give me a lawyer dog. Give me a lawyer dog. Yeah. Okay, you see a lawyer dog. How come nobody's made a move in like that? Like airbud, yeah, but with a lawyer. Right. I wish all the shows were just dog, shout out, like peanut butter and stuff.

No humans. No humans. Wait, they do the shaggy DA. You're right. There was a lawyer dog. Yeah. Was that Tim Allen? Well, not the original one.

Oh, there's like Jerry Lewis or something. I think there might have, I think he was in flubber. Sometimes I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Oh, these are like even before our time. Shaggy DA, Dick Van Patten. Tim Conway, wow. Yeah. Okay.

Their pictures are in black and white. It's about, yeah, it's about a guy. It's about a district attorney who turns into a dog. That's their Instagram filter. about a guy, it's about a district attorney who turns into a dog. That's their Instagram filter. Okay. Orleans Parish assistant district as her name Kyle daily responded in his brief that Demisme's reference to a lawyer did not constitute an unambiguous

invocation of his right to counsel because the defendant communicated that whether he actually wanted a lawyer was dependent on the subjective beliefs of the officers and added the cessation of cushioning is not required. Demesme subsequently made admissions to the crime prosecutor said and was charged with aggravated rape and indecent behavior. He's a rapeist, okay? He's being held in the Reliance Parish jail awaiting trial. Uh, damn it. And only for that goddamn rapist Sean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could have really got the cops on trampling human rights, civil rights, but he had to go and rape somebody at the same, he had to be a bad guy. Yeah. I guess. I think a schnauzer could have gotten them off. I get a lawyer dog. Yeah.

He's in there asking for a lawyer dog. So he hasn't invoked his right to count so. True. Yeah. Objection. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. That's so hot. What do you say?

Hold on. Just one the case. You want some kind of kids. What do you think about those girls on Twitter? They're making guys like bark for them. Have you ever seen that? Hey, whatever, whatever. Do you think that's weird that those guys, they do that?

This is like pages of guys going, woof, woof, orf, orf. And she likes it and they're willing to do it. No, it's a date. I'd say the problem. Yeah. People are into weird shit. That's not even the weirdest one I've heard. What's the weirdest one you've heard?

If somebody likes something and somebody else is willing to do that thing, I see no problem. That's what I said about Harvey Weinstein. That's the difference. What? Because they weren't actually voluntarily trying to do that. He used his power to make them do it. You see the difference? No.

You said, what do you think about barking for me? And they're like, well, you know, she's not making them do it. You know what she? Yeah. He was basically saying, oh, you won this job. You won this job that you worked your whole life for. And you've been passionate since you were a kid and you really wanted. Yeah, bark like a dog.

Come to the old man fat crinkly hairy dick. Except for the crinkly part. Yeah, he was old. Sounds like a good dick. You dick, your dick is crinkly? No, mine's staying. Your dick is crinkly as you get older, I'm saying? You tell me.

Well, no, then. It doesn't. It doesn't answer your whole body crinkles Except your dick Yeah, my dick is move the shit a seven-year-old dick is the same as a 19 year old I can't say about 70 year. Yeah, hell does her I don't know anything about no nine year old How old was Harvey Weinstein when he was doing that? Probably for decades. How old was the actress he was with? Much better. That's all the matters. You don't think that's, so he deserves to go to jail, do you think?

You don't. Let's talk about what you think. I think it's pretty obvious what I think. I think he was having too much of a good time, so everybody's like, you motherfucker, you fucking all these guys. You gotta stop having so much fun. You gotta go to jail, fuck you. Enough time for you, enough having fun.

Yeah. People start getting jealous. I mean, that just is, if they believed in their talents, they should've said no. No, because there's a guy who's at the very top and he's gatekeeping opportunities. The man? Yeah.

Let me give you an example. I have a podcast and I have this favorite author that I wanted on my podcast for a really long time. So I message him, but because he's a really big author, obviously he's not the one checking his messages. He has an assistant. Right.

So the assistant goes, I'll get him to come on your podcast if you go out with me. Oh, who is it? I'm not saying any names. Why? We can totally fuck them up. I already did. Don't worry about it. Oh, wow. So't worry about it.

Oh, wow. So that's gatekeeping. Did you come on your show after that? I didn't go out with him and he came on my show. Did you fire that guy? I am. And yes. Oh, damn. See? You sit up for yourself.

No, I can have to go out with him. But then you see what I mean? That's gatekeeping, that assistant is in no position to be gatekeeping that author. Just like Harvey Weinstein is gatekeeping those opportunities because he can, he isn't a position. No, because he was head of the studio. They're still popular. It's like, if you're popular now,

I'd be like, all right, fuck, you don't want to fuck me. We'll put you in the movie anyway. No, because, let's say for me, a first time actress or something, like it, you know what I mean? Like a lot of it. It wasn't like established stars necessarily. Oh, necessarily a Scarlett Johansson, you know?

Yeah. But like, let's say, How you think you got this job? He sucked your dick on the same thing. Is there any footage? I was, many feet, gatekeeping. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I was gatekeeping. Okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I got it. I understand. I know why he's in prison. So yeah, it's a little slimy. It is slimy. But here's the thing. If I, let's say, let's say Harvey was a woman. Ooh, a young woman. No, an old fat woman. Mm, let's say Harvey was a woman. Ooh, a young woman.

No, an old fat woman. It's killer, throwing electric chair. Who was this big producer and any young male actor who wanted that role or whatever had to like lick her clip. Would we be nearly as concerned with the matter? No, it would be hilarious. We wouldn't be as concerned. It would be, we would, we would be like, yeah, give it a lick, get the roll, move on. So you're saying there's a double standard.

Yeah. With women. Yeah. Because everyone's just in love with everyone's so eager to, simple for you guys all the time, no matter what. That's why he's in jail. That's why I think he's in jail. Okay, what's the next?

What do you think, Sean? I think there's a double standard. Yeah, I'll give you the answer. Yeah, it happens with the teachers and students and stuff like that. Right. Yeah, a completely different. A hot teacher, fucks teacher, Fox, high school,

high school students. That's a different people. We just don't think of it the same way as the other way around. Yeah, because it's not. This is also like not very progressive of us, you know, like the right way to think of this is really to say that like no,

that little boy who was molested by his teacher is obviously still molested. And you know, that's too bad. Yeah, but by every definition, get in trouble. Yeah, but and they usually, I mean, they usually do get in trouble. I think if it gets found out, but everybody put it on like, yeah, it's still not the same. That's just because then other, then other 15 year old boys are not getting molested. It sends a wrong message, you know, The problem is, talking about gatekeeping.

Yeah, talking about gatekeeping. The problem with eliminating opportunities left and right. The problem with the hot teacher banging a 15 year old student is that she's gonna trap him in a relationship right after. What about a teacher with whom? That does happen.

Because kids about her love with him. He's gonna nut and be like, oh God, shit, I fucked up. And she's like, so I'm gonna see you tomorrow, right? And he's like, well, I don't want to, but she's like, well, if I don't, you're true. And the police are gonna come. It's like, that is the nightmare. For that's the nightmare for young men.

That's what fucks up their brains. If she's gonna linger. The guy institutionalized as a kid. Yeah, yeah. That should be the charge though. It shouldn't be statutory rape. If she's gonna linger. The guy institutionalized as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. That should be the charge though. It shouldn't be statutory rape. It should be statutory relationships.

Don't even think like if you're drunk, you can't consent to a relationship with a woman. You're drunk. You're like, oh, you said you loved me last night. I was drunk. I was drunk. You're not a mole. You dumb bitch.

Some people wake up married. Yeah. I mean, Molly, you dumb bitch. Some people wake up married. Yeah, I mean, wouldn't you agree? Okay, what's the next news? Okay, it's the, what do you call it? The Miss Clea. Pigeon? The pigeon.

Oh, a pigeon. Oh, fantastic. By the way, I looked up Miss Clea on YouTube yesterday as a part of doing my homework. Wow. You just homework for the day. Because I like had no idea. The most prepared, doose girl ever.

Because I like had no idea what I'm doing last time as I will probably do the same this time. And the first video that showed up and I took a video and I sent it to you, she did not sound anything other than American to me. I don't know if that was. Miss Cleone. I don't know if that was. I don't know if that was. Miss Kleeo?

Miss Kleeo was American in Sapple Pie. What do you mean, what do you mean American? Like sound America. Like she didn't sound. She didn't sound white as a person. No, she sounded like she was born, raised in America. Miss Kleeo. Do I miss, am I miss remembering what Miss Kleeo said?

I mean, that's the first video that came up on YouTube. I sent you a video. Okay, hold on. I'm gonna, I'm gonna Google. said. I mean, that's the first video that came up on YouTube. I sent you a video. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna Google. Yes. I'm gonna Google this. Was there another knockoff Miss Cleo that I'm remembering? Maybe, because yes, so that first lady looks like she's definitely the best of Miss Cleo, this one.

So now just click on what? Click on what? Okay, videos. Sorry, I'm handy. I am using my left hand for this. So, no, not click on the first one. I only know how to do one thing with this hand. It is not clicking on videos. The best of Ms. Cleo.

Okay, hold on, hold on, crank it up a little bit. I already heard it. Let's see. There we go Now you're saying this is god. I hope it's the same Look the same just play it That's an accent. Oh, you're staring at me like you're right. Yeah, hear me Yeah, that sounds like you're from like I don't know the hood that sounds like you're from the compton

Doesn't sound good That sounds like How long have you lived in captain? I wind her one time I'm gonna interview Baby I heard what people are doing. I'm gonna go and talk I said, what is the job interview? So scary. Baby, sit. I heard it was people going, give me a go, a dog. Long time, please, don't ever go to Compton, please.

I won't give you whatever job. I walked into an empty house. Empty house. With a dad and two children running around in Compton. And like, I was like, I was like, I was like, 19. I walked out of that house so scared. Wait, okay, let me, let me continue listening. and Compton and like you would have been lost for like 19 Wait, okay, let me let me continue listening. This is a job interview in that house. Yeah What what was the job babysitting oh Jesus babysitting dad

Okay, here No, no, the two kids. Okay here. If you want him to believe that it's over, then you've got to stop accepting the booty calls at 2 a.m. in the morning. You understand? In the morning. In the... Is Compton Irish? In the morning. In the morning. That's not even an accent. That's just the way like she talks.

It's not as heavy as I remember it, but it's definitely Caribbean. Last four nights, your feelings have been hurt, so you've been up all night. Yeah, this is how pigeons are. Your feelings have been hurt. So you've been up all night. Yeah. Yeah, this is how pigeons are. The relationship. It's not that. I'm about to. Okay.

Don't make me take your church. I'm going to make me take it. It's much better than the present one. You know, honey, you say that you were pregnant a couple of months back. Oh, come on. This is so American. All right.

Well, then what do you want to call the pigeon one? Not Miss. What I'm about to do. Watch Miss Cleo. Alright, Canada go allow gay men to donate blood. The old rule prevent donations from men wake at sex with other men within three months. Wait them give blood. Help Canada, say, be more, be one, hug, bong, mark to achieve more join, body blood donation system. Countries around the world, don't they lift a kind band for recent years, experts don't find say, deep and not to get effect since blood.

Now they systematically screened before. So them go feed check for virus. E like HIV and hepatitis B and C. Yeah. B. C. Right. You don't want to be catching the hepatitis.

Is that your confidence? Yeah. I don't even know what that was. You can't get into the hepatitis. You can't be in war and she's not talking war and she's going to have to regulate. It's hard not to go Irish. Yeah. Listening to her. You keep been lived the only three months ban on blood donation from gay men last year. Wow. Why? Why is that a controversial that gay men do you guys understood? Yeah. That's what you're saying. They're finally letting gay men donate blood. Right. Did you understand what you said?

No. How so focused on being picky. Stoning it out. I know. The gay men have so much semen in their blood that they wouldn't let them donate. No, no. I think it's because they probably think like,

if you donate blood in your gay, you're gonna transmit gayness to the person you're donating blood. Aids? No, just gayness. Oh, just being, like, if you get gonna, you know, transmit gayness to the person you're debating plates. No, just gayness. Oh, just being like, if you get gay blood in you, like a werewolf, you're gonna become gay. You're gonna become gay. Yeah.

Is that true? I think it's scientifically been proven. So yeah, gay by injection. What do gay people like they have to give blood so much that they have to make it a front love of it? Like, can you guys just not, it's a corbord storm of culture. They just line up at the blood banks. I'm here to give blood again.

It's like, you were here an hour ago. The orange juice, it has not, it's not enough. You'll demo my trip. I got to. I need to give more blood to get rid of. Like, there's, is there one pain in the ass gay guy that's just got to give blood? I mean, don't they like test people first? To see if you have AIDS? To see if you have like anything. Yeah. They definitely test your gay and straight. Shouldn't they like test you? Yeah. Are those tests? How is there any fuckups with those

tests at all? I mean, there has been. There has been. No, there has been. I'm sure there have been people who died because of it. Because they got semen in their blood. Because they had HIV in their blood. But if they test, I'm sure the probabilities actually like decreased a lot. No, if they test right, then they should screen it out.

Sure, sure, sure. But if they have fucked up, they have fucked up in the past. Have you ever given blood? I tried one time and they told me my weight is not, I can't, they told me like I shouldn't, don't need blood. That's awesome. They said for the amount of blood we're gonna take out of you, like it's not healthy for you to do that.

They told that to me too. I'm sure. Okay. I'm sure. I'm sure. You're semen content for a city tour. Your seam and content for a series of what we're allowed to do. I ran his on-a-something. They get a shit's Iran.

He's not going to stop. You're going to take this attitude. You're going to take it back. Yeah. You're going to do something about this attitude that you have. You're not in America. I got my attitude from Iran. This is like how everybody is over there. Everybody? You're going to be in this way. That's why they attitude from Iran. This is like how everybody is over there.

Everybody? You're ready for this? That's why they're around. It's so angry over there. The men are so, imagine what we have to deal with times, Emily. Less of angry sex. Do you have any sex over there?

Yeah. What's angry sex sound like in, you know. Just the type of sex that white women want, but white men don't give it to them. That's insulting to you. He's white. I'm pretty white. Are you giving it to... I'm going to Iran.

Are you giving it to the white women? Am I married? No. Why not? What kind of question is that? Sean, you don't have to answer that. I don't have to answer that. You don't have to answer that.

You don't have to answer that. You are dating. Okay. So you're not single, that. You are dating. Okay. So you're not single, but you're just not. No, I'm not saying I'm not single, but yeah. I am. And you're never, I never got marriage necessarily. I'm not single, but my girlfriend is.

Okay. All right. That's been the show everybody. Thank you for listening. Patreon.com slash the plug your thing and we're gonna do some voicemails. Plug your. Oh yeah, so my Instagram is just my name

So at Pony P A and I and my Instagram is that's my Instagram and my podcast is speaker brain There's a link in my bio speak your brain. You're always posting like smart things Yeah, you're posting like pictures of books with like highlighted and you're like, so this. So this is what I'm talking about. No, those are my good morning posts. So every morning I post something that like read somewhere and I liked. Oh yeah. And I post and I say, good morning bitches, here, enjoy, you're welcome.

And it's like a positive. This is for free. Okay. More shonies. If I didn't own any shonies, I would kill myself. Not even joking. The more shonies you have, the better. Maybe I don't have enough shonies.

I don't know. Don't do anything, yeah. Do not do anything rash. I only have like 30 or something. What's shonies? Bye shonies for shonies are his NFT. Oh yeah. How much are they?

Two have no idea. Like two bucks. Oh, okay. Nothing. I'll contribute. Do you have Salana? Do you have a Salana wallet? Shonies are his NFT. Oh yeah, how much are they? Two, no idea, like two bucks. Oh, okay. Nothing. I'll contribute.

Do you have a Salana wallet? No, what is that? It's like a theory of a different blockchain. I have a Salana wallet. Does that count? You have a what? A Salana wallet. Get down.

Did you buy that? Fuck yeah, it's like $250. It's not even that expensive. Okay. Did you buy that? Is that a good250. It's not even that expensive. Okay. Did you buy that? Is that a good question? It's a question. Terrible question.

What? If I look like you, I would never buy anything. There are no terrible questions. Only terrible people who ask questions. You're talking about me? A grunt. Questioners. If I look like you, I would not buy, I would never have bought

anything in my life. I would just walk around, I would walk around just shouting what I wanted. I'm hungry. I'm looking for a shirt at it. No, don't make it weird. What else would you get money? You don't need money. Money is an layer of abstraction for other people like me. It's an intermediary. Yeah, money is, you're a need money. Money is an layer of abstraction for all people like me.

It's an intermediary. Yeah, money is, you're beyond money. People, men invented money to have what you have. How would you pay for rent? I would just, I would scream out the window, like Ebenezer's screw, John. I'm worth the pay for my rent. I need to pay rent.

And a bunch of people said, I would love to pay rent. And a bunch of people said I would love to pay. Don't bog me down in the details, boys. Just take care of it. Just get it taken care of. I wish. Wow, look at all these amazing voicemails. Let me have you. Let's see.

Oh, yeah, okay. God, tell this stupid Australian fucker never to call back again. I lost about five million brain cells. I think it was stupid fucking. Australian. Oh, it's an art robbery. You're going to go on the bus with him. What's the point of using a machine? You're just giving on your show. You just give some air time. Are they just years letting them hang them, though? Go for it.

Fuck that guy. Where's that guy? Why didn't you? Yeah, after Adam, co-head, whatever. What? That guy. He was hitting the game all the time. I don't know how to do fucking kids,

because they're a piece of shit. God damn. He left a second voice mail about it. You know, you're sure. Right.. You left the second voicemail about it. You're right. Sure. Right. So you're all the plus. You get in on the bus with the beta.

All of a sudden, you're all so. You know, you're a beta. Turned out a little bit. Then you go down the street and pick up a murder. And I don't know the fuck. He's pretty good. And you're not a beta. All in the, and then you get away in the get away car and

yeah, I I I think of what he's off Damn bro. He was on fire. There was a guy that called in. Yeah, he was a pretty interesting guy. Oh, which guy?

The the the Englishman. Oh, yeah, called me a pedophile. He was called somebody a pedophile. So he wasn't Australian. No, he called you a pedophile. He called somebody a pedophile. No, so he wasn't Australian. No, he's using me. Wait, he called you a pedophile? Why? He said, anybody that uses the phrase child porn is a pedophile because you're calling

it porn. And that means that you enjoy watching it. Right. Yeah, something like that. But you know, like a simple like thinking about it, we'll tell you that's interesting. It's also so interesting when people think everywhere that comes out of your mouth, he is like premeditated and you had a bunch of time

to think and formulate the exact right words to say. It's like, yeah. And they've been saying. It's a fucking podcast. You say shit and then later you listen to it sometimes and you're like, oh wait, I said that. I'm glad I did. Yeah, I can come back and stuff you say on a podcast that someone cuts can come back and

really bite you in the ass several years later. Okay, here's more. Well, I love that mate. It's your different from your own brace cap. And I like to talk to you about Getaway cars and diving in the night. I knew they hate him. I hope he calls back. I knew everyone would hate him. It's blowing away. It's not a getaway car, it's a getaway plane. It's not going to get away plane and the plane is blowing into hell and killed Satan. Are you not responsible for killing so are you not liable for your action? You know what the fuck is this guy talking about? Fuck yourself you piece of shit, brit

I'm being the pussy fuck beans and toast Isn't it beans on toast? Yeah, that beans in toast and toast what Oh, and toast. What an idiot. Okay, there's a lot to X-in. Oh, wow. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean. Hey. I wanted to leave this voicemail quick because listening to you argue with this autistic British guy, Dick.

I'm finally able to put into words why I've always respected you. And you are one of the best listeners. I think I've ever encountered anywhere. Podcasts, real life, whatever. The way you can do it. My girlfriend's not here for this. And like, let these guys finish a thought. I think that's why they become addicted to calling in the Christa Kiwi or...

I think that let them like actually express themselves and then a single sentence pointed out why they're retarded and watching their brains melt trying to comprehend what you said because I do in their lives, they don't know anyone right, they're not ever getting like real human feedback. And then, you know, they call on your show, they make an ass of themselves, and like they just don't have any pressure in front of anyone.

Finally able to put that into words. Love you guys. Good luck. Just met. I think there's got to be something. It was called the entry though. I don't wanna say he's an idiot. I wouldn't say he's an idiot. A British guy. Oh, I don't agree with him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not an agreement.

It is ideal. It's a ridiculous. Super fucking idealistic. It's the pseudo-academic take on... Do we have to pretend we're stupid in order to say it's like, I'll tell you what's wrong with it. I'm not a pedophile. So I don't know what kind of thinking word games you have to go.

Well, yes. Like it. Um, Carl, Carl from who these podcasts, so he says the favorite part of the show is whenever I go to people, what do you mean by that? Yeah, he knows that before. from who these podcasts. So he says the favorite part of the show is whenever I go to people. What do you mean by that? Yeah, I mean, that's the hard part. They're going to go like, well, what I mean is, right?

Yep, right? They have to like explain themselves. Yeah, they can't. Well, because they're usually hoping economy. Yeah. You're hoping that you'll just like get it or pretend to get it so they can move on with another preconceived notion of yeah. Okay, let's use this one.

There's a new, uh, I was almost in the twin towers on 9-11, and going around. Everybody has that. Uh, I was almost in the twin tower. I was a little bit smarter. Who go, you know, my parents, they were going to abort me, but they didn't, and I'm glad they didn't.

It's also funny, because, like, I don't know, even if, like, I don't know, you somehow found out that your parents were going to abort you. It's not like, that's like the craziest audio overcame to get born, you know? Yeah, it's not. You know, with the butterfly effect, like there could have been like any number of things, infinite things that could have caused like your parents to not have sex.

No, there's 64 trillion different seeming jamming combinations that can go out of her normalization. Is that right? Yeah. Everybody came, overcame way bigger odds that to be born, that like the fact that you could have been aborted but weren't doesn't really nudge that number at all. So I don't know. I don't know why these guys I want to brag about how they were almost aborted but yeah, it's

pretty pretty funny. Why not be proud my guy. Be proud that you weren't aborted. Yeah, be proud that you're born. Yeah, but he didn't have anything to do with it. Funny, I think we could pump the brakes on being proud of things. I'm gonna draw the line at being born. That's the fact. Be proud of as many things as you can possibly fucking be. I'm proud of that.

I'm stupid as shit. I'm proud that I'm fat and I'm proud that I was born. Good. That's the basic level. I'm proud of it. I'm a woman. I'm way, way too low. You I was born. Good. That's the basic level. I'm proud that I'm a woman. I'm way in wait. You just being born. You just said being a woman is equivalent to all this.

I was just like being proud of like what you, but you were just given. You didn't do anything. I'm doing and work for this. I see what you mean. Yeah. Like how can you be proud of that? You know? this. I see what you mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like how can you be proud of that? You know?

Yeah, I see what you mean. What is the purpose of being proud of it? Well, they're different. Well, they're different. They're different. We're not that is not otherwise used for. There are different ways of being proud, right? Like you're proud of something that you like, you know,

accomplish and then you can also be proud that you're like from a certain country or you're like a certain thing. Like I'm proud. You know, like I then you can also be proud that you're like from a certain country or you're like a certain thing. Like I'm proud. You know, like I carry it with pride. Oh. You know, like I'm, you can, you can be proud that you accomplish something or you can, you know,

like, you know what I mean? There's just like different, but I, I also like advertising. Like I'm proud that I stopped drinking. You should be. You should be. You should be. Yeah, I mean, that is something to definitely.

What? What? You should definitely messing up my life. Yeah, I mean that is something to definitely You should definitely be proud of Stop drinking for the last five minutes Try and record a voicemail apparently you lied You lied about the fact that I could be recorded by question I had to wish every single fucking number Anyways, my rage is fucking like shampoo bottled, lotion bottles, anything with one of those push tops and spinsters. I don't know what the fuck they're called but they never want to come up if you buy just the wrong. I can't get them up my ass. As much as you want you can pull it, you can genn it,

nothing will get profit. I can't get them up throw it. Pour lotion into my hand and cover my body with it. Or use way too much shampoo and conditioner is it. I bought some new fucking shampoo. Now I gotta use it like this for the whole bottle. I'm gonna go through this thing in like fucking three days. Because he can't even get out in his hands. He doesn't know that you're supposed to unscrew it. Oh, you boys, mailbox.

He thinks that you push it to get it up. Reason million why men need women. It's not just that you want to screw it. It's that you have to hold the bottom so that the bottom doesn't screw with it. Because if the bottom is turning, then it doesn't want you have to hold the bottom and then unscrew the top.

This is like sacred information that you're passing to other women. Yes, you're welcome. You can't figure it out. I figured it out. I figured it out. I don't know. He should just shave his head and be done with it. He doesn't, it's like the three sales. I like handsome or lotion, you know.

He was saying lotion. Yeah, I feel for like, I want to help him. Uh, yeah, you're nice. Okay, here we go. Here's a bonus episode then. Man, on the next super cut of these Maddox livestream clips, somebody should cut in the middle that fucking interview that he did because every time, every single one of these bonus episodes, I hear him doing all this dumb ass shit.

All I'm seeing the back of my day here in doing all this dumbass shit all i'm seeing the back of my head when i craft these characters and i've been so long getting a purpose and and just came as a band going wooow wooooow boi man that's just i hear that man over and over again

look craft wow crafty characters I hear that in my head over and over again. Like craft. Wow, crafted characters. I'm a writer. Oh yeah. Do you know who Maddox is? No. No, I never heard of him. But you want to look at one of his videos.

He's like Arnemesis for this show. I used to have a show with him. And then I secretly started dating his ex-girlfriend. And he found out. And he melted down and canceled the show and told everyone in the comedy world that I was like a rapist. I was a rapist. I was horrible. He made up all these ridiculous things. And then he sued me. So we were making fun of him on the show for what he was doing. And then he sued me. So we were making fun of him on the show for what he was doing. And then he sued me for a half a billion dollars. And he lost that lawsuit.

And now he pretends to be a banana on Twitch. Yes. He broke. What? He pretends to be a banana. Hold on, let me pull up one of these. Sorry, just kept getting more chaotic as it went on. Yeah, no, his brain broke.

Yeah, yeah, that was the end. Let me pull it up, see we. The guy turns into a banana. Yeah. Wait, so you started dating his ex girlfriend? Yeah, they'd been broken up for like four years. Okay, well, you guys were like, you know, working together on a podcast.

Yeah. And he dated his ex girlfriend. But I kept his secret. I didn't tell him, because I thought he would melt down. Yeah. Luna Tick. Do you think you helped him melt down by hiding it from him? Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Like, did I make it worse by hiding it? Yeah. Yeah, he was never supposed to find that. It's always so much worse than you find something out on your own. Well, you have an, he also, he bullied.

Yeah. He like told this, he told this, this mutual friend of ours that he already knew everything that was going on. And if she just told him it would be fine, he just wanted to know. And she told me, he's like, I didn't know it. Hey, you know what you learned? Next time you want to date Sean's ex girlfriend, just let him know. No.

Why would I, what, what I do that? Cause he's going to turn into a banana. I'm not trying to be a crazy. That was the, that was the point of this guy. He's a fucking lunatic. So was he crazy in a whole time? He's Armenian. Thank you.

He's silly, man. Okay, here's, here's a good example of his content. This one's called, Ping with a Bona. I heard that sucks and near impossible. Is that true? Yeah, it's difficult. Cause it like...

You have to understand like gravity and angles and things like that, you know? Right. Yeah, to, I mean, I don't understand mathematics and physics to understand the way. It didn't come up a lot. No, like,

hmm, I'll just wait a little bit. Don't you just have to like push a little harder? No, it doesn't work like that. Because the, the sphincter's, is it the shiftover? Because it's the same hole that all liquids come out of, right? On me. Yeah.

So it's like if it's already, you know, occupied with something you can't multitask. Yeah, I don't want to stop coming to pee. Mm-hmm. It's awkward. Okay, here's Maddox. Just, and this guy's 45. Okay. Best selling author, and now he's a banana. uh... maddicks just in this guy's forty five okay best selling off there

and now he's a banana book about us is when i was thirteen our teacher told us you can't be with the butter book about you should listen to your teacher that's true that's a fact if you ever wake up with a book or you have to go outside and be in your suck you I'm playing P in your succulent. That's what I heard, anyway. I heard that sometimes if you can't, if you can't, you just have to go out to your patio and pee on your succulent. That's just good sound advice.

From one banana box to the other. I'm going to pee on your succulent. That's just good sound advice. I'm going to pee on your succulent. That's just good sound advice. I'm going to pee on your succulent. That's just good sound advice. I'm on my analogs. He's telling himself.

He's amazing himself. It looks like. That's good. That's all the matters. Everyone needs a hobby. He always gets interrupted by some vermin or past in his house. He goes, oh my God, who's that a spider? Oh, fuck!

Some sort of pestilence. Yeah. And he's drunker than shit. It's super confusing because there's like a tutorial on like something with a stake. Oh yeah, he watches cooking videos too. Yeah. And then he comments on them, I see.

Yeah. Well, he just started that and he usually just comments about, he watches like female cooking videos and like his like, forms like fake relationships with the host. Yeah, he likes Instagram. Well, he's a banana. Well, he's a banana. Yeah, well, he's a banana.

I mean, you know, it's a, it's a niche. Yeah. It's a very specific. Well, if you got a girlfriend, she was dating a guy and he was like, what's his job? And she said, oh, he pretends to be a banana on Twitch. How much money does he make?

None. He's bringing them 12 million. Let the man do his job. So all women care about his money. Sean. Shut up. Not his dreams. Not his dreams.

He also make you come in bed. That's mental well-being. Let him be a fucking banana. All right. Let's do one more. What do you think? Sure. Do you have any women listening to this?

Occasionally, occasionally think that you come up. I had a wait. I had a woman ride in with some advice. My next time you're here, I'll read it. Okay. You know what the thing is, is the women that listen to the show? They're all hot.

I bet. It's actually you bet. Yeah. Why do you bet? I don't know. Why not? Why wouldn't they be? I don't know.

You gotta be kind of self-confident to listen to this show. Listen to this shit. To take all the masculine energy that's being pumped up. Maybe you were just like maybe you just had an older brother and you're like, what do you do? And that's why they're hot too? I could be. Yeah, okay. Well, maybe. Could be. What's saying it is? This one's more. Hey, Dick, professional foreskin haver here. You know what makes me a man I think it's when my pubes reach critical length and once in a while one pubes will find itself folded between my foreskin and I should have

played this one. Not only do I get the unpleasant sensation of coarse pube hair rubbing against the tip of my cock but I also have it pulling on like a single strand of hair attached to my crotch and so easy way to adjust this and you got to reach in there like you're trying to figure out what the fuck your dog just a and you got to get out of the mouth

and and i guess it's easier to chop off your pubes and tip of your dick but you know when you're in this much discomfort Both options really seem open. Yeah, go fuck yourself. I don't know why women don't listen to this show I know I mean like I I was really trying to imagine that and I can see how that would be an uncomfortable situation to be in oh Yeah, so what is that like is would that be like making a wedgie but like a front? Yeah, I mean get a car skin wedgie

a four skin wedgie, but it's like meticulous So you can't just like do it quickly. You have to like That's okay. We've got all the time in the world. You have to get a dog that swallowed something or so that's all I got out of that It's some about All right goodbye happy Mother's Day Goodbye. Say thank you. Does anyone want to talk to Pony in Discord?

Last time I got a bunch of messages. Oh, you did? Yeah, a bunch of people. He just said no dick pics. No dick pics. Good, yeah, they're behaving. Keep it that way. But mostly they were nice.

They were some nice ones, but they were not nice. There were like, you know, some not nice ones, but, you know, they were not nice ones. I focus on the positive. Oh, yeah. So yeah, there were a lot of nice ones. Is anybody wants anybody going once, going twice? That's discord. Somebody's telling me this is discord. I can't.

I can't. All right, that's it. Goodbye. Come back again. Bye everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.