The Dick Show - Episode 325 - Dick on Shop Class

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

the big-boobed shop class lady, donut problems, Boogie steals my Fat Watch bit and a Mitch Hedgeberg joke, Kiwi Farms is taken offline by a trans activist, Beerfest, money for homeless women, fat food, non-binary comedians, and Chris the Kiwi has a girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Early and straight. Oh, those are two words. I never heard together. Right. Clay, finally we're straight. Oh, man. Just in time. It's been a really, it's been an exhausting couple of weeks.

How's it? Yeah. What's ever since a Burning Man or before, even before, you see how this sounds coming out Seems fine right now. Yeah, I seems good As long as there's plenty of room for people to crank up the volume That's the only thing I'm ever worried about I have this thing on a hundred and I can't fucking hear it Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm paying for what the fuck am I paying for on the on the live feed? Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean we'll make sure it gets a cotton a copyright complaint what the fuck am I paying for You better figure this shit out. So you're telling me I'm in for 20 bucks and it's been

But I can't even fucking watch it. Wait, what's the fuck am I paying for?'s the copyright complaint about? Because when we watched Worsky's fight, was it last week? It was last week? Yeah, it was on Sunday. Ah, that was one week ago. It feels like an eternity. Yeah. I guess it was eight days ago, but still.

Well, you can forget it pretty, I mean, there's not a whole lot to it. It goes by pretty quick. The week? No, the fight. Oh, my mom, me. Yeah. You could get it.

Used to be in the old days, you could get a commercial off a fight like that. Like, hey, you know, these deals are so big. You, even I might, you know, I don't know, miss one, whack, and he's out, right? You could get a local TV spot. Yeah, yeah. Come on down to Jim James Ford.

These prices are a knockout, and then the price goes, kchang, right? That's it, that's, you know, it's shaking my head because I've seen those commercials. I don't have a lot of time. I need a new RV. Yeah. I got about 14, you know? I know, I've got to get the deal done and quicker than I get. Yeah.

It's got to be less than 34 seconds. I need to learn HVAC repair. Yeah, quickly. I've only got 14 seconds. What? Come on down. And then they throw in that thing that they already recorded. Come on down and stay down.

Hmm. Should we start there? Is this the start of the show? That's as good as I got. That's the start of the show yet. It's a big commitment to press the button if I don't feel together in my brain. Well, I know. That's the problem.

You still got a couple of minutes to get it together in your brain. Technically, we're early and straight. You know what? You can't start thinking like that. That you have time. Resting on your brain. Yeah, just quit the show.

I got, never mind. We're not doing a the show. Oh, I know. Never mind. We're not doing a show today. No, I know. Still, after 12 fucking years of this, or how long has it been, I think it's been 12 years of podcast. Well, and I'm still don't know what it's like. Oh God, was there enough stuff do we have here?

Go home. Well, hang on, didn't the biggest problem, we recorded a few episodes in 2012. So that was 10 years ago. And then it's, but the long, 10 years ago, what year is it today? I think it's 20, 22. I don't think you're right.

I could be wrong. It gets a lot more than that. I could be persuaded. 2014, I think, was it actually went out there, right? It actually went out, okay. So that's a long time. 10 years. Eight years.

Somewhere in there. Somewhere in the middle there. And I've got less than, less than 15, more than six. I just look forward to seeing my invention. Here's my first invention for tonight's late night regular episode. It's a pill that you can take. He's always feel like so.

So when you shave your, no, now my hair's fucked up. So when you shave your face, you don't look like such a fat fuck to yourself when you shave your face. Okay. For the first time in a long time. Right. Because I've had my beard grown out. Oh, yeah, yeah, you are pretty tight.

Because I've been packing on so many LBs during my various injuries. I'm like, I don't want to look at my fucking face, all right? Right. I'm hiding it. Okay. I'm putting my jilly suit on my face, which is my beard. You're jilly suit.

Is that what it's called? I think I've heard jilly suit. I don't know. I don't suit. So I shaved it off for no reason. I don't know why. Because you can grow it back, because you can. I wanted to look young.

You do look younger. I wanted to look underage. You do not look underage. You do not look underage so that I could bust pedophiles. Right. So that I could go to an arcade. Luring them in like Ferris Bueller stayed off and he turned out to be a pedophile. Sean.

Jeffrey Jones. I know. How about that? Yeah. Boom. Yeah. But it's a pill. How's that for a show?

It's a pill. So you look in the mirror and go oh that looks normal Fucking not off And I'll be putting that in my head You're welcome. Yeah Welcome to you. I need to get you need to go to you. You got it. So show them his contest Give me a life or mom bunker deep in the heart of city of failure. I mean, how's the match in the K, the $20 million man? Drinking is always as world touring alley based comedian, Shawnee audio engineer.

Hello dick. Thank you for joining us. And thank you for not killing yourselves. I was starting to get a little auctioneery on that one. Yeah. Come on up, come on up, come on up, come on up, come on up. We're strip clubby. Very close.

Between the two. Oh man, I'm gonna take a pic coming to the center stage. Let me, an auctioneer, how much we get for this pic. Let me tell you about the, We're strip clubby very close between the two home and we're just gonna pick coming to the center stage. Let me do an auction here. How much we get for this pig? Let me tell you about tractor this. Let me tell you about some pigs and tractors that came to the local gentleman's club.

Oh boy. This weekend, they're coming in droves now. James and games, which I'm never going to again. Games and games. I could have told you that was cheesy. I've heard that shit on like sports talk radio and all that kind of stuff. It's like, you know that's going to be sports talk radio. You know that's going to be there advertising it on buffet talk radio.

Yeah. On the financial feminist, the fat, whatever those people, that lady podcast that we listen to, that's like, hey, ladies, are you four feet tall and five hundred pounds? Are you having a bachelor at party this weekend? Come on down to James and games and don't bring any ones and sit as close as possible as Stage so everyone hates you your fat bitches How you look like the exact proportions of an NHL goal two from me come on two from one three four We'll talk about four for one this weekend of names and games come. If you're a scale tipper and not a real tipper, come on down to games.

They tried to like cramp Dave and Buster's in with a strip club. They had a ramp. It rolled, you could roll the game. What are the games? What are the games? Like gambling? The game. The games?

Where are the games? It's how fast you can burn your money. I don't know. They have big screens up everywhere. Because the women are like so ugly. That's what watching games our watching games. Oh fucking ugly. We're gonna do that You're just unspeakably fat. What's happening? Who goes to a fucking strip club to watch? Sports Right, well you have to thought it was like you know, it it would be way better if we go there and like play Monopoly,

like those kind of games, you know. Oh, yeah. It's just like fucking kick over the board, magic, the gatherings, down, down. You fucking bet my mocks, diamond, you bitch. Oh, well, notice whatever. You play games with the strippers, right? Sorry. Right.

Like, when did these wars happen? We stuff like that, the questions. God, I miss. we gotta do that. Sorry, what people to send those in, those answers in again. Oh, from their girlfriend and wives. Oh, yeah. Do the planets. Ask your wife, if you have a girlfriend or wife, ask her to name all the planets.

Don't say all nine because none of them know. Yeah. None of them know how many fucking planets there are. Right. And they'll take wild guesses. So we said, we always said nine when we were kids, right? They'll go like 30, five. Yeah, yeah, a charter and a quarrious.

Ha ha ha ha. Painless. Yeah. Like isn't there one that's like, painless? Isn't there a like a, a Ryan or a Ryan? You know, just names from, Dad, isn't that a planet? that looks like a dog playing it dad

These women are so fat They couldn't get out hell fat. They're sitting around they abandoned their stage seats Sean this well, these are strippers. No, they're just fat women who are at the strip club querying it up Wow, the likes of regular men and not fat people. Yeah. They took, they commiserated together and then they got so bored of not tipping the strippers that they went over and made their own strip club. They took over a VIP booth, these fat women and then they started dancing for each other.

And like pretending to be a stripper, I'm like, you got, I have been kicked out of multiple strip clubs for this behavior. Where the fuck is security? You know, that's their women. Kind of. They can only do so much damage, apparently. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, killed fucking 50 boners.

That's damage enough. My truck's gone. I wish I had like a funeral. Yes. Music for my truck. Shit man, that truck. He saw it right. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've up again on the big screen here. It's a send off. It hurts. That was my high school truck. Your second high school truck. Well, it's not talk about that. You've talked about that. Yeah. It was destroyed. God did that to me. Right. He did it to me again.

As of God. 900 bucks. He sent down rain and then fucking balled at your tires. He balled at my tires. Right then and there. How do you let a kid? It's kind of a bitch. Why didn't my parents fix my tires for me?

They letting me go, I'm like a death trap out there. You would say, I still don't know. Especially with your dad. You know he would, I mean, he would pass up no opportunity to go, I'm like a death trap out there. You would think, I don't know. I still don't know. Especially with your dad. You know he would, I mean, he would pass up no opportunity to go, hey, your tires are looking kind of bald there. That's probably what happened to him. Yeah, that was so traumatic to him, because I kind of ride his ass until the end of time.

I thought he shaved him down or say, yeah, I'll show his fucking ass. He probably did that too, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that truck was, yeah, truck was 25 years old. It's pretty good. Listen, the women are getting so fat, we went to a beer phase. You're just going to need that truck soon. They're sending it to Mexico. Shopping it up. Yeah. Well, you know, how they do it parts. It's the only thing that's, it's good for

you. I never even got to use the camper shell. Or they actually fix it and roll back the odometer. Yeah, yeah. Guys online are saying, oh, you're not a real man unless you rebuild that engine. That's actually a really important thing to becoming a man. What the fuck? Who has that much fucking old? I'm too busy making money. What am I going to learn that now?

I'm way past, but I'm like, buddy, I'm gonna say Bluetooth to fucking like to Bluetooth cylinders. So the engine's not. So the fucking pistons in there, fucking broker, you fucked the whole balls up and that's, it is whatever.

I don't know, but the guys are saying to me, well, you got, it's easy to rebuild. In fact, that's something you gotta do to become a man. And I'm thinking, am I gonna be 80 years old and the fucking, and a guy who's changing my bed pan at the alcoholics, synonymous hospice center is gonna tell me that it's something I have to do to become a man.

And that's gonna be the last thing that I hear before I'm dead, to become a man. And that's gonna be the last thing that I hear before I'm dead because I'm old. Like, I'm done. I have become a man. Whatever this is, this is me. What is a man? That's it.

It gets worse from here, but it doesn't get any more of a man. This, I'm not gonna go skin a deer and somehow learn something about life. I know it yeah Quickly people are dying faster. They're there being created at this point I understand putting together an end of getting frustrated for two weeks and Scrooing up an engine rebuild can't ex don't do it in two weeks

I'll be reading up for years like where is it?manthaling a car in my garage where it doesn't fit is not gonna teach me anything about responsibility or creating something with my hands or things for spots, but it's done. Done, gone. This is it. I can confidently tell you that there is no more, there's no more man to milk out of me, okay?

It's been built. It can squeeze me. No more man's gonna come out. Yeah. This is it. Yeah. It's down either way. I mean, I like, I think it's cool to know all that shit, but I didn't grow up like that. You didn't grow up like that. Oh, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna learn enough. If I did grow up like that, I wouldn't be rebuilding a

fucking truck that I don't need. Yeah, right, right. For my dad to paint with silly paints and he has to draw all over. Yeah, right, right. For my dad to paint with silly paints, and kids to draw all over. Yeah, no respect. I'm done. Damn kids. I'm done, I don't need any manliness. That fucking rebuild it. Yeah, you're gonna learn.

You're, do you feel like a man? Like I'm their Tom Sawyer this one. I mean, I feel like a man. You're a bitch. Show me how it goes. Show me how to do it. Yeah. Please show me how to do it.

Watch your fucking YouTube videos for the next year and a half. What are the parts? It'll be, I assume it'll be like two or three times what it would cost if I paid a professional to do it. Yeah. Or what do you think? More. Five times and 50 times what the truck is worth.

It's worth zero to me. Yeah, yeah. I get it's like, well, they're gonna give you 900 bucks for it, is that? I'm like, well, I mean, yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah. Everything in my body was like, I think you could get more. Yeah, that fucking shell, that can't be shell was worth. You paid 500 bucks for that, not three weeks ago.

Fuck that thing was a good shape for 25 years and two blown cylinders. It's got wheels that work, it's got all kinds of other parts. It's just the engine and then there's other, there's other part of me. Those axles are not snapped. This voice is saying, this evil voice is saying, you could, no, you could, you could waste so much time out of your day and get more than $900 for that. And there's part of me that spoke up that is a, the, the man part of me said, get rid of it.

Yeah. I said, you're gonna come out ahead. Get rid of it. Yep, I'm a man. You just got, I'm a fucking man. There you go. You got 900 for doing nipples away. You did nothing, you got 900 bucks, you don't ever have to think about it again.

You're done. Any effort you put into it is going to eat into that. I saw fat shigs, two fat shigs at the beer festival this weekend. Really? Wearing, no, I mean, the Budweiser fucking cart. Wearing cow print skirts. Why would they do that? I don't know.

To be funny? I mean, it's funny, I think unintentionally, which, you know, I got people say the best type kind of humor, right? But what about a cow like black and white white fucking cow like a fucking cow, like dairy cow, like Carl when he was dressing, did you see Carl dressing up like a cow? No. Oh, yeah, well, it's something else. Oh, the black, the black face cow.

Who are these? Just kidding. He didn't do black. Black cast cow bikini. I don't know why he did this. They have some kind of humiliation thing. That's right. Well, he, yeah, he must have lost something.

The one with cut notes. Where can I see Carl in hisiliation thing. That's right. Well, he, yeah, he must have lost something. The one with cutnauts. Where can I see Carl and his bikini? The creep off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where could I see it? So that's the thing he does with the, Vinnie, Vinnie and, yeah. Vinnie, the poppin' just something like that. Humiliate each other.

Yeah, let me, come on. Here he is, come on. There he is, look at him. Look at that shit. Look at him. Better than fucking Maddox. Yeah, that's true. It's a better. Better than fucking Maddox. I mean, like, yeah, that's true. It's a better stupid costume than what Maddox has got.

So imagine this, but a big fat woman wearing it. Yeah. I don't know. Pretty wild. Jesus, why? For, I mean, humorous, you know, there's no way. Is it humorous? Is it humorous for them to do that?

You know it'd it humorous? Is it humorous for them to do that? You know it'd be humorous. No, if you had a branding iron. Ha ha ha. Now that's really participating. Like if I had a branding iron, there you go. Just put some charcoal on it. Yeah, the circle F for fat. Get back to the fucking corral.

Get to that shit. Go like an LED thing at the end, like a flashlight and come in there. Yeah, get over here, you fatty. Come on, chalk it up. Here, here, here, here. What's some coal, charcoal. I should do that.

Oh man, did you see this hero? Let me bring up this hero. What a heroes. You know, I've seen a lot of people pick on this guy, but he should be celebrated. This is a... What in the fuck? What is going on? Excuse me, it's a lady, I guess.

Looks like Vito, but it's not. You think that this person is Vito, because she's wearing Vito's glasses and has kind of Vito's nose, and her mouth is obscured with a pink. I just noticed the mask is pink to match her shirt. Right. It is a trans woman.

And really, yeah, it's a shop teacher at a high school. She could probably rebuild the truck. You know what? Best damn shop teacher. A shop teacher in Canada is what they're saying. And she's got unbelievable. Think prosthetic breasts. That's as fucking breast same.

That are the signs of a watermelon each hanging to her, past her navel to her belt. Yes. I'm just describing it for the people like Morgana. Looking identical like Morgana's twin. Do you remember Morgana? Sean. Yeah.

Yeah. You do? Are you sure? I think so. Well, I'm more afraid to say no now that you paused for so long. No, Morgana, you mean like a lady that came out and kissed all the people in baseball. Kissed. Oh, I didn't know.

Wasn't that the Adam's family? You thinking of Morticia Adam? Oh, you're right. Morticia, like what to show. Who I was talking about. Yeah, I fucked this. Oh, yeah. You remember Morgana.

Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Gigantic bosoms. I don't know what her deal was. She was the kissing bandit. She would come out and steal kisses and rape the baseball plays. Right. There's a lot of good.

Come on. I can sexually never prosecute her for rape. Yeah. Meanwhile, now they loved it. Now these innocent times before like Monica Sellas got stabbed. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that.

I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that.

I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. I can't write any of that. Why didn't anybody try to shoot? Well, there were some, you know,

some credible threats and stuff. And one that the, I don't know if it was the FBI or whatever, came to the, they said, look, we think that this threat is credible. Like we recommend that you don't play. Okay. So he said, well, thanks FBI. Let's, right. We've been nailing it for 50 years. Thanks. I'm going to play. Things are going to play. I'm going to play. And it was said the mood in the locker room was like really somber, right? And so one of the fucking players on the Dodgers pipes up, he says, I got an idea. Well, just all wear the same number and they won't know who to shoot, which is a pretty

funny joke. Who said that joke? I don't know, but it was a white guy. Mm-hmm. Cause, you know, because Jack Robinson only player in the bunch of white guys otherwise. And they Sean look at the number thing. Look at these tickets. Yeah. I'm too distracted. Okay. So basically, I mean, it's basically the same thing this lady. Yeah, exactly the same thing. Dear Oakville, Trial Falker, High School families. Why would you want to kick this lady out of school?

This would be the greatest teacher you could ever have, especially for fucking shop. What do you have shop class for anyway? This fucking strap hits on everything Put tits on her back. But every male teacher in every high school across the whole country should have gigantic tits strapped on to them like this. Attendants would go through, especially in the inner city. Yeah, here's, I mean, it's hilarious.

I'm just thinking when the right completely shits on this and makes fun of all that kind of stuff, the left has to go, yeah. Okay, this is a little, this is a little much. I don't care how liberal you are. It's like, yeah, this is a little bit, okay. You got us. The kids should do it.

It's a little ridiculous. The kids should do it in solidarity. All the kids, they get implants like that. Well, they're not implants. They're just like, it's just a fucking costume. Oh, that's okay. I was gonna say, there's not any. Nobody, no dance. No doctor would do this, right? I Well, they're not implants. They're just like, it's just a fucking costume. Oh, that's okay. I was gonna say, is there not a... Is there not a...

No doctor would do this, right? I mean, they probably would, but they wouldn't look that good. Right, yeah, maybe not, yeah. So this is a, but you said, this is a trans woman. Yeah. And that's just wearing like trans. Or not, however you like.

Cause I've never seen, I've never seen even fake tits that big. Oh, you have it? No, so they do, I mean, they could get that big. I don't fuck, they went the full pole, why not? Oh, you've never seen like implants that big. That big. Oh, I have.

Yeah. Have you? Yeah. Well, it's cool. So it's possible. Chelsea Charms is pretty big. Okay. Back in the day, they had like silly string breast implants that they were pioneering.

They didn't, they were, you know, dear Oakville, transfalgar high school families, if fucking high school, come on. Now how long kids have a laugh? You're gonna take this away from these kids? How long have they, oh yeah. How long have they been doing this? I don't know.

We're like, I can only assume that when more than one day, they're hired as a shop teacher. School's been back in session for a week, so maybe this was the big, right? The over the summer project. You could have rebuilt an engine. That's what this person did. We're aware of discussion on social media

and in the media regarding Oakville, Trafalgar High School. We would like to take this opportunity to reiterate to our community. It sounds like this sounds pretty good. And where is it? Where is this? Canada. Canada, they can't stop. They can't stop this lady because it's a hate crime.

To create that we are committed to establishing and maintaining a safe, caring, inclusive, equitable and welcoming learning and working environment for all students and staff. That's not shop safety. There's no way you can have those and be safe in the shop. You can have big tits.

I mean, do you know what any woman can have big tits? Look, you know what a band saw looks like, right? There's no way you can get in there like, and she can. She'll build you a fucking good tits. No, those tits. She has to like turn around and put her hands behind her back to work the fucking thing. I as a school within the Halton District School Board, Oakfield, Fowler High School, recognizes the rights of students, staff, parents, and guardians, and community members

to equitable treatment without discrimination based on gender identity and gender expression. You can just do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want in high school. You can do whatever you want. You can steal city hall. You can do anything you fucking want. Gender identity and gender expression are protected grounds under the interior human rights code.

We strive to promote a bot. What do you think? I mean, where were teachers like that? I was in high school. I don't know that. I just think some people, you're just, you're just asking for jealous bitch, jealous bitch probably reported this lady. She's a shop teacher, so she's smart with her head, she gets along with the boys.

She's got that rocking body, right? Rock and rot. Rock and tits. Some flat bitch with no ass probably reported her fucking jealous. That's wild. Yeah, how do you like that? Let's see, here's some other disgusting things I saw at the beer festival.

Okay, hopse water. Where was the beer festival and when was it? Downtown. A couple days ago. Gotcha. Yeah. Hopse water. Hopse water?

Yeah. You mean like, all the taste of, you know, all the taste of hops with none of the alcohol. Oh, yeah. So just like heartburn and can't. Hops infused water. Yeah. Terrible idea. Terrible idea, right? You know what else is annoying that I've been seeing a lot lately? This liquid death shit. Oh, yeah, it's just water. It's water and it

can that's made to look like beer or like crazy energy. And fucking for loco or it's yeah, it's supposed you're supposed to say something cool happening. It's water. And it's just water. It's really annoying me the way they're blitzing it out everywhere. I mean, a new way to sell fucking water.

I mean, I respect that. I'm not gonna drink it or pay attention to it. I'll slap it out of your hand if I see it anywhere. It's like a bunch of fuckin' dipshits trying to buy an identity. Fucking will drink with death. Fuckin' here's something I got for you. So,

80s girl orders some donuts off of Crab Hub. Mm-hmm. And these fuckin' people send a two don'ts't she orders two donuts, right? And the problem with this already order arrives. And it's one donut with a refund on the receipt because they ran out of the other donut. So I call up Grapa and like, hey, you gave me a one donut and a refund for the other donut. They won't pick you out another donut or call you or anything.

Well, right. So number one, you guys could have just, you could have just thrown in another donut. Yeah. Obviously, you give the refund and then you throw in another donut, because there's obviously two people there. Customers, and you want to prevent a murder suicide. Just like, just like totally ruin someone's evening, because they're probably high and want a donut

that they've been thinking about for 20 minutes. It's just real simple, easy stuff. Think about what this happened to you. So I said, as a lady, yes, so I ordered the two donuts and the one donut showed up so I could just get a refund on that. Now my girlfriend has to eat paper. Yeah.

And deal with my bad attitude. Look what you've done. Look what you've done. So it's even worse than not having anything at all. Whatever I do tonight, it's your fault. Mm-hmm. So she says, look what you made done. So it's even worse than not having anything at all. Whatever I do tonight, it's your fault. Mm-hmm. So she says, look what you made me do. She goes, well, you got the refund for half,

but Indian accent, you're going to go to the refund for half the donut dough. Half of the, half of the, you got the refund for your one donut. Yeah. I was like, yeah, but I don't want, I didn't order any, I didn't order one donut. Lady, I don't know if they have donuts in India,

but if you had one, and then it was taken away from you, you would kill every one of you in your village. Yeah, I've never even, do you even know what a donut is? You dumb bitch. It's like, yeah, I know I got the refund, and I got the donut,

but the thing is I didn't order the one, I ordered two donuts. Yeah, not a I got the refund and I got the donut, but the thing is I didn't order the one, I ordered two donuts. Yeah, not a donut at a refund. I would have said that. I would have said that. Special instructions. Yeah, I would have said, please refund one of the donuts, the one that I want and just give me the other one and I'm fine with this.

So you didn't even get the one that you wanted. I didn't get the one that I wanted. But you ate the other one, didn't you? I don't remember what happened. I was so consumed by rage. So she says, well, I'll get to the bottom of this. She said, well, you got the refund and the donut.

There's nothing else I could do. My God. Yeah. Okay, well, I didn't get anything actually. I didn't get any donuts. Right. Someone stole the guy stole the order. Yeah.

She goes, no, sir, you already told me that you kind of like, are you fucking, are you fucking six, Syrian? Are you fucking kidding me? You're a rip, you got a stenographer there and she goes, oh, you don't have to good, sir, you don't have to start yelling. I was like, fuck you, you fucking dumb, you know.

Right, normal. And I, A's girl sitting there. I'll show you some. I'm like, fuck you fucking dumbass. You know, right, normal. And I, A's girl sitting there. I'll show you some of her accounts. She's like, thanks a lot. Right, right now I'm fucking account. No, my grub hubs shit list. Yeah, cause I already got my account in. So pretty soon, they'll be the only way we can get fucking food.

Then you'll be fucked. It's like call back in. And said another guy. Yeah. Yeah, hey, just call him in. I looked, so I called back in and said another guy. Yeah, hey, just call me on this. Lady was, she's misjentering me and stuff. I just called in. Because I have to give her,

because I have to give my girlfriend's name on the account. I was like, what's your name? And they're like, okay, my guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's move past it, okay? The last lady here was very rude to me. I need to file a complaint with her because she's misgenerating me, calling me certain stuff.

So don't fuck that up. Number one, I need a refund on the donut. On this donut that I need to go, so okay, well, it says it was a donut was strapped off. And you got a refund. And you also just spent 10 minutes on the phone with the woman next to me. It says from this phone number.

I think like, well, did you, did you get your order? And I said, no, I didn't get my order. Right. Because, okay, well, did you look outside? I said, well, I looked outside and I didn't see what I ordered. So I would like to find, this is the truth. Right?

Right? It's the truth. I did not get what I ordered. Okay, man. I can give you, okay, man, we can give you a, give you a refund. This is dead. So then, hello, this is, try to call the place and yell at them. And they wouldn't have any of it. It's just the, it, yeah, it's the, the monolithic tech support sending hatred directly to India that has no one at any point in the chain

has any concept of why are you, why are you, why are we even making the donuts? No, no. What is not one single person could put it into the terms of, well, this is, oh, this is two people eating. So imagine if I was one fat guy. Yeah.

Then it would have been, then it would have been over. So a new rule is order four donuts every time. So you at least get half of it. Yeah. Oh, did you see them? The Martha's Vineyard thing. Martha's Vineyard thing where somebody sent, some Republicans sent like a bunch of homeless, a bunch of Mexicans to Marxist vineyard.

Yes, yes, yes. And they got the National Guard on them. Fucking, the very boy, John, and Martha's vineyard. They don't want to see any of that unpleasant stuff up there for sure. They're like clapping. Who are those vineyard people?

Oh, really? Yeah. They're clapping for themselves. They got all these, they got all the Mexicans booted out of Martha's Vineyard. Right. Well, because they got sent up there, right? Yeah, they got flown up there. No.

And then they said, oh, these Mexicans got tricked into coming up here. We got to get these motherfuckers out where they have resources to handle them. I'm like, bitch, what are you talking about resources to handle? They go Mexicans. They don't want to. Have you ever been to a fucking homeless shelter in LA? It's full of fucking illegal Mexicans. What are you guys talking about?

They don't, I don't want any of that up there. They're allowed to bus go. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were, these fucking pork, these dead Mexicans were tricked into coming up here by that damn Texas governor, whomever it was. Our property value's gonna be okay, honey. They're leaving.

It was great. Oh, God. It's great, because it's not that funny. Right. It's not all the Republicans are like, oh man, that was just so epic. I was like, no, I mean, it would have been epic. If you would have flown the plane into Martha's Vineyard,

that would have been epic. Right, right. We're not on the perfect, good vineyard. I mean, been epic. Right, right. I'm in the perfect good vineyard. I had a happy 911 assholes. Blah! Sour grapes. They would have been so good. Mm.

So you're good, very good. I don't know, you did you see that? The Martha's Vineyard people? Yeah, I know, I didn't see it, but I ever saw a little bit of it. Get these brown down. They're all standing like a line. Like the Mexicans are graduating to heaven. Oh,, god damn. They're all standing like a line.

Like the Mexicans are graduating to heaven. Oh, go on. Like they're boarding that boat at the end of Lord of the Rings. Like, oh, you fucking Mexicans have fun on your journey to wherever you're from. The military base that we're sending you to, and then they're definitely gonna deport you, get the fuck outta here.

Yeah. So are you lost in the $70,000 on that coyote and somebody in the family was raped. We could get's so long. So yeah, because they're not equipped for it. I don't know, how do you, how do you fight that? Send like a million, send like a thousand of them up there. How many were up there?

50. Oh, 50? Yeah. Probably just, it's, I mean, there's, they're, you know, they say Martha's vineyard. I don't know if there's a vineyard there anymore. So oh did there used to be I have no idea but I'm gonna say they would if there was still a there would be there. Yeah they would be there. It's just funny. It's funny how Republicans have no balls. Check this out. Check out this gum

that I put on the teacher's seat. The the teacher's like, who put this gum here? And then shoots them. Yeah. And the next Republicans like, well, it wouldn't be fair if I shot you for having shot them. Yeah, that's holes. Let's see, a two million bucks for the homeless in Denver, but it's going to 140 women and transgender and gender non-conforming people and families experiencing homelessness. So if you're not two million bucks to the homeless in Denver for pretty much everyone,

as long as your transgender, gender non-conforming or a family, or a family homelessness. So just a, like a homeless, like regular man or woman. No, isn't going to, right? You're not going to, no, you've got to be, I'm sorry, women was number one. Oh, 140, stupid of me, not just saying of you. Fuck that, I would have gone and looked it up. Yeah. Money will go to 140 women and transgender and gender nonconforming people and the total

is 140 families. Yeah. Two million goes to 140 people. Yeah, how much money is that? That's quite a bit. Is it? I mean, I think so. Two, one, two, three.

To a homeless person, fuck yeah. Well, they're experiencing homelessness. Well, I know 14,000 bucks. You know, that's probably the city. Yeah, city doesn't know. There's no way they give you cash. They're like, okay, well, we can have credits at one of our business that are like Dick sporting goods.

You probably get a couple of company store. Yeah, 100 bucks. Sad. I mean, they'll just, you know, they'll just fucking blow it on, you know, whatever. Crack. Dialogue. That's why they can't do that. Come on.

Come on, please. Um, yeah, that was pretty, oh, okay. Let's see. Here's a good one for you. Uh, this is LA's problem. Speaking of homelessness and crime. This is LA's solution for for for all the crime, the rampant crime that's in LA. Step away, LA. I tell you about when I took Carl and his

wife through. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. That was dicey. Oh, yeah. Carl's like, Dick, have you, have you been here at night? Yeah. By yourself? No, I was like, yeah, of course. I take this path all the time. Yeah. Nope. It's like, why don't you guys like try to smudge up your faces a little bit? Maybe that's white.

They're like glowing in the dark down here. It's crazy. Let's watch it. This is real. I just want to say this, I know for a fact that this is real, it's on the official LA police department. You two, LA's on the official LA police department. You two, you mean the police department that got like $300 million from the, from the

panel? Yeah, remember that with the city of LA or the, you know, got $630 or $640 million, $300 million went to the fucking LAPD. That number doesn't even sound feasible. No. $300 million went to the fucking LAPD. That number doesn't even sound feasible. No. Well, you know, they help with a lot of emergency services and you know, set up testing centers

and show what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, cause there's no crime happening right now. What the fuck and three cuts? That is insane. I didn't even think that you could possibly give a police department $300 million. I don't even have to judge the police. So they had a time for $300 million.

There's this little fucker, Kenneth Mejia or something who's running for city cop controller. He's really fucking, he's really fucking. Yeah, but I've been watching this campaign. I probably can't get my own, cause it's an asshole, you know, but he's like running for a cop trailer of LA and everybody hates him because he's making all this web shit to expose like how much money, like what's publicly available stuff.

And you know, they hate, I don't, we don't want to make that data accessible. No. Anyway, here is, people might get upset. Yeah, people might, someone might drag us out of our house and kill us. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Right.

Please don't do that. You know, they really should, you know, public servants. I mean, they should live in a little more fear than they do by and large. I was comfortable saying that before J6, but now I don't feel safe saying that. Thank you, my, I mean'm not saying commit acts of violence, not outside of Minecraft, not extreme violent. No, not outside of Minecraft. Exactly.

I just want to play an intomark, this vineyard of Minecraft. I mean, you know, that's fine. I just think that they need to actually feel like they answer to people. We know they don't, but let's just their job. Let's just make them think that they do. Yeah. For just, just, you know, like, you know, one day a month, if you work in McDonald's, let them walk through Skid Row at night with unpainted faces. That's what I'm saying. I like the chips fall where they may.

Okay, here's for your safety. If you're visiting LA, I know that everyone's listening from around the world, it's not an LA show. Oh shit, did I forget to join the, yeah, I forgot to join the live show, thanks, sorry. So if you're visiting LA, tell me we're streaming. Uh huh. Yeah, we guys are even.

Here is, I think even I would get texts if we weren't. I know my phone was vibrating on the, yeah, it is, and Okay, here you go. Yeah. For your safety, step away LA. Help stop arguments from turning into violence. Yeah, sure. Maybe this will be helpful for everyone in the world.

All right, so this is the right strategy. Two women argue over a parking space when it gets punched in the face. Two men argue over beer, fifth and sand Pedro when it gets stabbed in the face. Two men arguing over me or fifth in San Pedro when it gets stabbed in the face. You know, part of my responsibility as a senior lead officer is to read every single police report that happens in my area.

So this one definitely could have been avoided. You know, most of the reports you read when a violent assault occurred began with a simple argument, with that said. Sorry, what? Most of the reports you were a violent assault occurs. I mean, I think he, I thought he said salted something.

He said salted penis. Salton, yeah, begins. Well, I'm, I think he said salted curves. If somebody cooking and season dogs, I think he said salted salt and salt and

salt and salt and salt. Yeah. I'm gonna get pulled over and drag it on a car by this guy. Probably we have to, can you back it up? I need to hear that again. Well, first guy was playing the example.

Two guys arguing over a beer. He was a sardine with a face. The sergeant is, yeah, right. One got, one got punched in the face. Guy got stabbed in the face. Arguing over a beer. How about like an actual, were these homeless people?

I don't know. What's treated they say to me? Fifth and San Pedro. Yes. I mean, it's prime homeless people? I don't know what street did they say to one? Fifth and San Pedro. Yes. I mean, I don't know. Yes. It could be. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Sorry, this one definitely could have been avoided. Yeah, here we go, Sarge. You know, most of the people you read were violent assault occurred, began with a simple argument with escalating violent violence. In violent assault occurs. In violent assault occurs. Violin assault occurs. Like an aer going to get in the violence assault.

Violent assault occurs. Like an Arizona violent. Yeah, okay. Okay, here we go. Nothing, nothing hard. This is the best. This is the best that they could put together. There's a Rob Gorn-Kowski.

Yeah. It's your concentrate to argue your points when you disagree with someone. When veins get heated, you must ask yourself, one important question. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be hurt? ask yourself, one important question. Do you want to be right or do you want to be hurt? We care about your questions. We can't be nice to stop every crime.

Oh my God. I'm sorry, what? Wait, wait, was that... They get an old Jewish guy to represent the white people? Is that what the... Ha, ha, ha, ha. He did, he looked like an old Jewish guy who plays chess in the park. Sean, this is the cops put out a PSA.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be dead? Yeah! Ha ha ha ha! Right. What a shitt ol' That's a crazy line. What a shitt ol' We care about your safety, but the truth is we can't be here to stop every crime.

Even I have difficulty stepping away, the human nature to respond, but please, for your own safety. Who the fuck is that? I'm the only way. Even I have difficulty stepping away, the human nature to respond, but please, for your own safety. It's like a famous... Oh, way. Even I. Why is he wearing like a gun sling head? I wanna say, he said, is he an actor? Or the fuck, even I have trouble stepping away.

He's like, what the fuck? Who are you fucking Shane? What do you mean? Even I have trouble stepping away. Yeah. How many assaults are you facing? And he's posing in front of a fucking tent. Right. God. Well, I almost punched the film crew already.

Even him. Even I have troubles having a way. Right. Are you like a priest or something? He's addicted to rage a hall. First of all, you're wearing a black cowboy hat in public, and you look like you're wearing leather gloves for fighting. So you're the last person that I would not have trouble stepping away. Or it could be an 80s break to answer with those things. Okay.

Own safety, step away. Detail A is a special place full of wonderful people. Yet, in some cities, there are some individuals that have a propensity for violence. How would you describe those individuals? Violent? Violent? How could I spot them? If I'm out, if I'm out with my beer and I don't want to get stabbed in my face, what

could I look out for for these? Yeah. Are these supposed to be anybody that we know? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What-minus lists. So all of these are, they, they, they, I don't know what fuck this is a movie. This retarded.

This is the LAPD $300 million in like nobody, listen to the audio at all. Like, you can do better than this. This is as funny as I think. No, it's just like a city. A city basically put out, uh, don't start nothing, won't be nothing. Right. Like the cops put that out. Right. And they will still pull you over and kick your ass for doing nothing. Listen, listen, post pictures of the Pokemon cards and the dime bag that you had in your

back seat. Listen, don't make us do stuff. Okay. Yeah. Don't make us do stuff. We can't be there. We can be there. We won't be there. We don't want to be there. Which is why it is so vital for you to be the bigger person and walk away from any argument that can cause violence. I don't want to get into any arguments. Serious injury and even death. Which is why we were speaking up. We just want everyone in LA to be safe. Whether you're housed, unhoused, or have a business in our community.

Unhoused. Look, if you're unhoused and you happen to catch somebody of some hipster at a coffee shop watching this PSA, there's messages also for you. If you happen to have a house with internet and a television and you're seeing this, or if you just live on the concrete, right, with a board leaned over and you have to lay awake all night. And a salted curve. Hope you're, and watch out for a salted curve. That's, I'm always on the lookout. And when I leave here tonight, it's gonna be dark.

Salted curve, that is like, I am deathly afraid of that. I will, I will have my tazer out of my pocket. I'll have my keys in my hand like Wolverine. Yeah. Looking for a salted curve. Bro, I saw, I saw, I think like a homeless tent center. I was driving to the dump to get rid of all of this shit that I had in my front yard from Burning Man.

Oh, if that's your going furniture shopping. You know, my man tried it. We built that big penis lighthouse for Burning Man. Did you know that? Did you know that? I knew about it. I knew about it. You know, my man tried it. We built that big penis light house for Burning Man. Did you know that? Did you know that? I knew about it. I knew about it. Yeah.

So I had all of it. I had to take everything home. So I had all this trash. I don't think I'll leave it there. No. It seems like a fucking desert and shit would be a great place just to leave shit. You know, you know, I don't know. See what?

I don't have a sense of humor. I really, it's so annoying how Burning Man is like all, they've trained everybody to be up. Everyone's asked on picking up moop. It's like just moop fucking cares. What, what, what, what? I know that it's called matter out of place. They called it moop because it's all part of like a brainwashing initiative to get you

to police everybody or not littering. Sure. Um, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. So I like, I like people. I like people who just pick up shit. They see somebody who's a fucking, you know, inconsiderate prick and they've like,

just there are some people who just don't have to tell everybody about it. Yeah. I get it. There's enough like PSAs and stuff. I know you're trying to bring it in. You're trying to bring it in. You people, you pick that, you know, like it's,

some people just actually do stuff. Yeah. My life coach, we were back when I used to live in North Hollywood. Yeah. We were walking to a bar, the no bar from his, yeah, we were walking there and I was drinking a beer and then I finished the beer and I threw it in the ground and he walked over and picked it up,

yeah, finished it and threw it away. Yeah. And didn't say anything. Right. And I said, what the hell was that? Yeah. He just didn't, it just, it brought him the wrong way. Yeah.

He didn't want to just see a bottle just, yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you don't live here. You don't know that what these people deserve, like I do, they deserve to live with trash everywhere. So, I don't go in your house. I'm gonna need a weapon later. Yeah, I don't go to your house and start cleaning it up. Yeah, right?

So, don't do that to me. Let's just not have that happen again. Yeah, well, sure he'd like fuck up again. So, I'm driving to the dump. And I see one of these tent centers that I was talking about at the show, at the LA show. Tent centers. Yeah, it's like a gated,

it's like a fenced community. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They have like a tiny house center they called it. Yeah. It was weird, it looked like a prison. Yeah. It looked like a concentration camp for homeless.

It didn't look like a lot of fun. No, I was homeless. I would take my chances on the street. Anyway, so I get up to the dump and I pull up with my car full of stuff and the guy goes, I messed up first, I pulled forward too much because I can't. You fucking idiot, can I? Oh shit, I fucked up. Sorry, you plan on leaving that giant clock here? Yeah. Yeah. Because, uh, where are you coming from? I was like, where am I?

Well, because you're not allowed to dump. Yeah. If you live like, you can't live it. Be from 10 minutes away. It's like the dump Glendale me. Yeah. No, I know exactly where I said, I'm out Washington. And he goes, oh, we don't, we don't take trash from you. You have to prove where you're from. You're fucking kidding me. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Like you're allowed to like, now Washington is like this big. I know it's surrounded by a Glendale, which I think you're part of. Nobody even knows it. It's not a, that's a, it's not a city dump. Like the city of Los Angeles. I think I know the one you're talking about up

off the 210. Yeah, I already went up fucking crumpet mountain with all my shit. It's up there. Yeah, tied in poorly because I was tired of doing ratchet straps at that point. I'm like, I fuck it. I kind of hope that it just kind of takes care of itself. Yeah. I mean, a little bit. I'm in there. I'm going to drive on the far right. Listen, the bottle rolled off the table. And I didn't put it there, but I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to interfere. not gonna interfere. Oh my God, oh no. Me, beave, search fallout. Oh what? That's falling. Oh shit, I better go faster.

I gotta get there quick before more stuff falls out. So I go, what? Yeah, yeah, we don't take, we don't take trash from you. And I said, oh, the trash, the trash is from Glendale. I thought you were asking where I live. Yeah, did you did you do that? Yeah, that's a pretty good thing. I said, oh, okay.

Oh my God. Yeah. No, no, I just, I'm doing this for a buddy who lives in Glendale, right? I mean, you got, you got, you got 10 million dump trucks coming in and out. And I'm one F-150 with a short bed. Yeah. And you're asking me where I'm fucking from. Like, what do you think I'm fucking from? Yeah.

Like, what do you think I have in here? Probably a minute, what gang do you represent? MS-13. Yeah. What is it? Yeah. M-13, M-13. Where are you from?

Yeah. From Valverde, dude. Right. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Where are you from, bitch? Bitch ass.

Yeah. How much metric tons of trash are you dumping out? Don't know. So then I drive up there and first thing I get out of the car and these Mexicans go, oh, is that plastic? Does stuff you're dropping? I'm sure they, yeah. I go, we'll have it. It'll take it.

How about it? Well, go ahead. I'll be ahead. Yes, all right. Let's finish up this video. No way from conflicts is something we all could participate in. So please, for your safety in ours, step away. Step away LA.

We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism.

We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. We should just charge around a racism. we can reduce the crime. Step away, Ali. What the fuck was that? Like an adlit? We're getting some resources out there so we can reduce the crime. They can do better than this. Is he gonna arrest criminals? I don't know, Ali.

It's crazy to step away, Ali. We nailed it. That was the best take. Yeah, that's, oh my God. Well, you know, they're not actors, Dick. They're cops who are just hard to act on. They're just hard to act on. Wasting probably multiple days on this shoot.

Step away. You know, that's why the crime was probably ramping on the shoot days. You see how many of those motherfuckers there were together? God damn. Step away, L.A. Fucking, is there some kind of crime happening? Yeah.

Get out of there. Right. Better get out of there. Otherwise, you're a contributor. I didn't know that. Yeah. Should I call for it? No. That was your contributor. I didn't know that. Yeah, should I call for it? No.

God damn, man. Skoot, yeah. Scoot, scoot, scoot, get out of there. Yeah. Crazy. Um, there's a, that was, that was fucking crazy. Like, just the, like the ethnicity's represented and not represented like, what do you mean?

Nobody, look, all I'm saying is if a black person watches that, they're probably going, oh my God, I mean, like, the fuck? I'm all for, no. Yeah, it's like, it's like shit, man, like it's, I'm terrified if this is all the LAPD is because they probably got something to prove on my ass. What do you mean?

But, you know, like if the LAPD looks like a 100% black and no jacket. Oh, gigantic. It was like an NFL. Like the minutes of Vikings. I'm a black guy or minority and I'm doing something like we know that the supervisors are probably white. So these motherfuckers got to really have they got something to prove. And they might fucking kill me.

Well, I hope to homeless people all see that and they stop stabbing each other for buters. How about this? And I live announces its first ugly woman cast member. I mean, non-binary cast member. Yeah. Wow. It's like a real life pat actor and comedian totally a Molly Ke cast member. Yeah. Wow. It's like a real life tattoo.

Answer and comedian. Totally a Molly Kearney. Yeah. So there's no way to tell what, what binary she is. What, what do you mean? Who appeared in a league of their own with the name like Molly Kearney. Who appeared in a league of their own. What's the name?

Molly's not a man's name. What do you mean? Could be anything. No. Look, you mean? Could be anything. No. Look, you mean to tell me you could tell right away that this is a lady? Not some kind of amorphous comedy machine? Well, you have no idea how funny this person is.

Just Sean is not a binary. The longer you look, the more you're confused. This could be a hilarious man. This could be the funniest man. This could be the funniest man in the world. Look, we don't know if the non-binary's are funny yet. We know women aren't funny. Well, that's what we're going to find out. We will find out. We will find out. We will find out. How the non-binary's do. Maybe they can yuck it up at the best of them. Maybe there's a

zinc machine. Right. If there's a lot of, if it's very funny, if the, you know, the skittabits are very funny, then we'll know. Yeah, then we'll know. But until then, we don't know, is all I'm saying. Okay. Let's see here, I got more cop stuff. Oh, gender stuff. Something about racism.

No, no. I don't know if I care about any of this anymore. Yeah, I don't. Oh wait, gender counselors in Japan, that's a good one. Gender counselors in Japan. Gender counselors in Japan. I'll be so pissed if this lady, the shop teacher, has to take those tits off.

Yeah. You don't think that she takes the tits off when, you know, to put on the fucking and put the other in shop class, doing shop stuff with the tits on. That's crazy. Yeah, let me see. Isn't that awesome?

What the fuck, man? Let me see. Shop teacher, huge tits. Get those things fucking Oakville teacher, shock students by wearing huge prosthetic boobies to shop class. So look, did they show up to the first day of school like this? Is that, look at the fucking five o'clock shadow.

My God. That's not appropriate. What? the fucking five o'clock shadow. My God, that's not appropriate. What, you gotta try. Just facial hair, it's just a... You gotta fucking try. I'm a clock shadow. That person better be Italian. Video footage and photos of a Toronto area,

high school teacher blowing up. Yeah, look, here she is cutting a two by eight, I guess. Oh, that's, look at that, that's Roy's doing that. This is not wearing heels. Oh, I actually don't touch it. There she is. What is that a band saw? Is that a circular saw that she's using?

No, well, yeah, it's like a... Miter saw? I don't know what they are. I mean, it's the same, I think it's a chop saw. Chop saw? I think you call that a chop saw. Look I mean, it's the same, I think it's, I think it's a chop saw. Chop saw? I think you call that a chop saw. Look at this. She's giving a lecture with these gigantic bowling ball size tits.

I don't know why, I don't know why anyone would be against this. I can't understand it. But everybody has to stand there on the administration level with a straight face. Well, yeah, every time that this is totally, well, because that's what this is, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave going, you know, the most like crazy shit, yeah, every time that this is totally well, because that's what this is Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slav going, you know, the most like crazy shit. No, that is, that is so brave. That is so brave. And it's like Jesus Christ, people. And she's probably seen that episode too. He's running the playbook.

Yeah, I mean, you know, no, it's just, it's not, I don't think it's safe. To do. And you're right to take that away from the kids is a It's not I don't think it's safe um to to to to to and you're right to take that away from the kids as a fucking crime. That's like they suffered enough. They have they gotta be in stuff. Yeah, Tommy Paisos is calling in tonight.

No way. Yeah, he's back. Wow, I'm aware from like the some revolutionary army or yeah, he's a he's doing spy stuff for Chile. God damn. I bet you didn't know that. Let's see what else. Oh yeah, the gendered things with the Japan.

And then I'll read some comments. Okay. I guess I have a lot of gender stuff today. Well, sometimes the shows have a theme. That's fine. I mean, yeah, it's generally, the gender stuff is almost always highly entertaining to me. Okay, this is another big booby one.

This is more big boob news. Look at, so this is what I got a scroll back in my TL. Got it. Some graphe stuff. You know, TL takes the same effort as timeline. That sounds cool, or the, oh fucking boogie, you're stealing my fat watch, but we'll get to that. Oh no, we'll get to that shit.

So this is a video of a lady, young lady that had her breasts reduced from perfect to non-existent. And the point of it is that she gets like no views in her things now. Yeah, look at the fuck, look at the size of her tits in the right wall. But the thing that is annoying that I've noticed with these chicks in the breast reductions

is that they always put the before on the right hand side. The wrong side. Every time. I was literally just going to say that. I was looking, I'm like, wait, it's kind of in shadow, I'm at an angle, but I'm like, why is it backwards? I don't know, and they all do it. Every single, because I've seen a lot of these now,

because people like to torment me by sending me what is my worst nightmare. It is the worst thing I could possibly say. Mutilation. Yeah, mutilating God basically. And they all do it the same way. I don't know why because they all see before and after like diet heads, like women are inundated with diet ads.

Not enough, but they are inundated with diet ads. They kind of like, they kind of know that you have to read the first part of the sentence before you get to the next, right? Or do a subject predicate, right? It's throwing me completely off because I can't figure out why they teach her, right? You still teach that. Okay, good. They teach them left to right.

So why do they put it on the right, they all do this. They all put the big boob one on the right and the mutilated corpse of my fantasies on the left. I don't know if it's to trick you into thinking it's before and after subconsciously, like guys will look at this and see before and after and they'll think this is good. And they're lying because I never, you never put a pass them to it's not an after and before picture,

but they're kind of, they're treating it like it is. So consciously, if anybody can have, if anybody can offer some insight into that, I would really appreciate it because it's driving me insane that they all do it. I didn't know that that was a normal way to do that. That's, yeah, because it's big right now that it's ridiculous.

It seems so counterintuitive to me. Well, it is. But now. It seems ridiculous. It seems so counterintuitive to me. Well, it is. But there you go. Okay. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- didn't leave the country because of swatting. Kaffalz left the country when her hard drive was seized. Who's the one who gets? Kaffalz is a trans woman who got Kiwi Farms deleted. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Which is the most shocking thing I think I've ever seen online. Yeah.

Like so quickly. Yeah, in like a week or a month. She said, I'm gonna do it and then she did it. Yeah. And I am floored still. Impressed? I mean, I don't even know if I have the audacity to be impressed by such a thing, because I thought it was impossible.

Okay. It's like someone just jumped three miles into the air. I, it violates everything that we know about. It violates everything I understand about the mental laws of physics. So I don't even know if I am impressed yet because I'm stunned. Yeah. You haven't even wrapped your head around it. All I know is that Null told me my, my, my, uh,

I know. I know. On trans people would lead to my financial ruin. And it seems like, seems like picking a fight with chance people. Maybe didn't go so well. I don't know. I don't want, you know, I like, I like no, I want him to be, I want him to be good.

Yeah. If it was me, I would say I'm not dealing with this shit anymore. Yeah, but yeah. All I'm saying is maybe pump the brakes on the trans shit. Maybe a little bit. Was he mad at this? Every sentence doesn't need to be, you're not going to be a woman, you're not going to be a woman, you're not going to be a woman.

You're not going to be a woman. That was kind of the thing. I mean, I don't, he wasn't like real, he wasn't real big on the fact that like this show took us, well, it was like, I'm pro trans, I'm fucking care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would ever want to. There's a lot of like pedophile talk and shit too, right? Like, yeah.

Well, there's a lot of drawings and all that kind of shit like that was like, there's a lot of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess, careful sitting takes you kindly to it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, I don't know. I probably will be back, but I like, no. I like it when he would call in.

Yeah. Me too. I'm just saying, pump the brakes on that shit. Well, you gotta kick, if there's people in your community that are fucking amped up about that shit, cut them out, fucking get it, because they will fucking, they will fuck your shit up. Yeah.

You can't stop. They cannot stop. No, I know. And the people are like, oh, man, I thought you were all about free speech. I thought you're all about, it's like, well, you can ruin it for everybody. Yes. Exactly. And you did.

Yeah. You did ruin it. I really, I can't fucking believe. It's crazy watching people scramble to deal with the fallout. You don't have to say everything I have written at all times. Like the best end words are the ones left unsaid. Trap.

Trap. Trap. Trap. Oh, I mean, oh, it's said I'm the whole story. So it's like, it's simultaneously inevitable. And like, well, there's a couple of things that maybe you could have done a little bit differently here, but they got, she got them kicked off Cloudflare.

Yeah. And then I guess Null was writing a chat app that had a vulnerability. Oh. And that being kicked off Cloudflare made them get hacked. Huh. And they got hacked big time. No shit. Yeah.

So I don't know, man. It's rough. Fuck insult occur. Kaffles is a joke. That's all I'm. Kaffles is a joke. That's all I'm. Kaffles is a jug or not. Yes. Yeah.

And they keep feeding her. They keep feeding her with the transphobic shit. Uh-huh. It's like everything you guys do, every time you say that, you make her stronger. Right. And they're like, her, you tune it again. Yeah. You got to stop.

Do you want to win or do you want to get hurt? As the LAPD says. You want to win the argument or do you want to get hurt? Sounds like you want to get hurt. Okay. Phanna Knox, week take on divorce. Henry the eighth didn't make divorce. There's divorce in the Old Testament.

God hymns that. Okay. I mean, he kind of did though. Well, they were, yeah. Way back then, two big of pains in the asses. So, carrying in says, boogie is stealing your bit. Let's see, see if Domey pesos comes in.

He's supposed to come in. Just, yes. Japan, gender counselors hired to convince female students to accept trans-identified, it says males here, but that's transphobic. Female. Two convinced. So this is a, it's got a little bit of a bias. Yeah.

Gendered pants women. Japan's women's university recently announced it would be adopting a self-identification policy that would allow men to apply for admission so long as they stated they were female. That's an interesting way to phrase that. Okay. The policy will be implemented at the start of 2024. Despite half the female students currently enrolled expressing opposition or hesitation. Well, they better expressive fucking harder. You know what? Then don't become an MMA fighter. What can I tell you?

Oh, make sure you go through the proper channels. In response to the students concern, JW released a diversity declaration. You June. Yeah, you're a bigot if you don't, God shut up, you bitches. Created an environment where diversifying women can learn together.

Oh, okay. Such as formulating guidelines and manuals, assigning, who comes up with these? You see how they all have lists in them, all the corporate bullshit, brainwashing scams, they all come with lists. Yeah. You see that, right?

Well, yeah, I mean, you gotta have your... Search is bullet pretendants are... We're all here to formulate guidelines, manuals, assign gender specialized counselors, and setting up diversity weeks for students in order to accept transgender women reads the statement. Sarah, a professor at something. They also partnered.

I don't care. That's wild. That's enough. Okay. Boogie is stealing a bit. Let's see. Boogie is going to have some spleen in to do. I can't fucking believe that fat self stole my

bit. Salt occur. Eagle eyed viewers of this YouTube channel might notice that I used to be fat. I mean, I'm still fat, but I used to be fat. Well, that's a fucking, okay, stop. Stop. That is fucking a straight rip off of fucking Mitch headburg, you know, I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. That's there's no fucking way he didn't fucking get that. It's a very specific way to tell a joke, not an ounce of integrity in his body and it's shocking because he weighs 3,000 pounds. And not one ounce of it is integrity.

What do we do? Do we know him? Boogie. Yeah. Yeah, he called in. He was going to do the biggest problem reboot, but then he chickened it. He bitched out when Frank had when he and tried to murder Frank Hasel. When Frank Hasel showed up in his house, he tried to murder him and shot at a school. He said he no longer wanted to associate with quote, this side of the internet. But he does. What do you have a shot shot guns off in neighborhood. Yeah.

Bookie come over. I'll shoot you in my front yard too. Or I'll shoot a school while you stand in my front yard. You fat fuck. I don't know who it is. I don't know fucking know the guy, but I do know fucking, I do know jokes. And I do like dude, I've, I fucking stolen jokes on this show before anybody calls me out I will gladly fucking usually

But I try not to fucking you know like like I'm some genius who came up with it You you there's no way you get that from it head bird boogie you fucking asshole look This is why Americans are getting fat or even while dieting, fat watch. He called it fucking fat watch. Okay, let's see, let's see his next sentence. Hopefully we'll be full of original content. In the eye of the,

I would create a brand new series that I like to call fat watch. Unfucking believable. Okay. Nobody on the planet doesn't know that I'm Mr. Fat Watch. I'm the fat watch guy. I've been watching fat stuff. Is this a fucking lie? Is this a fucking troll?

Is everything? Yeah. Is everything gonna be stolen from something? Like, he's not gonna have, what's the next sentence? He's 15 seconds in. He's stolen two world famous comedy bits. Now, I think that might be more than a coincidence. He's not that clever. He's just a fucking mouth thief. little thief let's see like he stole these teeth off of a dead horse

god because we're gonna watch fat people it's a dumb name i swam calling it though it's not a dumb name actually and he messed it up with some calling it fatty fat fat watch. I have a way better way better watch today and news bulletin right way better hard hitting. This is dog shit what he's done himself orbiting first of all should have been the moon orbiting around here.

Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking fat moron. Thank you. First off, did you know that obesity rates have a skyrocketed here in the US, but worldwide do the pandemic? God damn, he's doing this for real. Bro, he's so bitter that he got asked out of the biggest problem by Vito who's killing it every week. Who's fucking killing it every week?

The subscriptions are skyrocketing. We're gonna catch Carl at any day. Oh, damn. He's so bitter about that. He's ripping off my bits. Boogie 1488 is ripping off my bits. Because he couldn't do any work on his own. So he's ripping off better to me.

Let's see who's here. Sommie Pesos in here. Sommie Pesos, goddamn it. Editorial lifestyles and working from home, all of that has added a bunch of people to the Fat Guy Club. And as the club's representative, allow me to welcome you to the Can't See My Feet generation. Don't forget to sign up for our welcome package,

which includes diabetic socks and a bidet that'll help you clean your ass. Now, as a newly obese person, statistically speaking, you're likely to be American. I mean, obesity is a problem all over the world, but here a bidet that helps you clean your ass. What about a bidet that's rated for circus elephants? It's not what's a dreamt in fountain. Yeah, I can't see your feet. Yeah. How about can't see your dick and there's no reason to ever because no women will want to fuck you. How about that? How about like some jokes and fat watch?

Hard but fair. Hard but fair. Yeah. And you can't even get hard anyway because your blood is putting 90 feet. Yeah. States, it's especially bad. And that's mostly because the American diet is absolute garbage. I mean, if you're anything like the average American, like me, you probably started your

day off with a bowl of ultra-process cereal, stopped at lunch to get a cheeseburger from the restaurant. And later tonight, you're going to stop by. There is no way he made it to lunch before eating again. There's no way he made it from breakfast to lunch without eating again. There's no way Bogey made it from breakfast to lunch without eating again. Yeah. He has a he has a liner. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's a branch in an 11Z's pre-lunch in a lunch. The fridge is open more than 12.58. Yeah. A little something to snack on during a call or something like that while he's working

something to keep him motivated. Talk about to get something to flush all of this garbage out of your system when you set on the toilet at midnight. And a lot of people don't really have a choice but to eat fast food garbage at every meal. But if you're lucky enough to be able to stand up and walk your fat ass into a Walmart or grocery store that has groceries, you're not going to fight very many better food options. Okay, I can't take any more of them. We're going to do that.

Correctly. Fat watch today and fat news. He said he would. He said he would. Whoops. Do I have that episode? Okay. Same fat news, Sean. Well, in the original fat watch.

Fat watch. Yeah, I think he's doing it for real. He's fucking seriously ripping it off. I just heard two things in a row. I heard an obviously stolen joke and then fat watch. It's like this can't be, this has got to be the rest of this has got to all be stolen from somewhere and that's the big. Two subtle. Yeah, somebody with and that's the big two subtle.

Yeah, somebody with four million subscribers doesn't do subtle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're too funny. Like that's the one lesson I have taken from life is that you just can't be any good and be popular. Oh my God. Look at this size Philadelphia drag queen. Uh huh. 25 dies of a heart attack during a performance at a gay bar. Got. Medical five. That's young, even if you're like morbidly obese, that's young to die of a heart attack. Medical examiner says she was also killed by obesity and diabetes.

Well, well, that's wild. Valencia prime was your name. Oh boy. Like the like Optimus Prime's mistress. For months. Oh, man. That would be honey, getting home, you're never gonna believe what I said. I would never miss going to a fucking... I mean, because you know, like, I mean, she had to fall. I've been to a few drag shows, right?

Over the years, like in or. No, been there, like watch. Performing. Oh, okay, watched. Watched. Okay. They're always. You're ever performing a drag.

They're always huge. Uh-huh. They're getting bigger. Really? Yeah, I've seen some, I've seen some of their normal size, but they're getting. Yeah. Now it's becoming like,

now it's becoming a positivity thing. So the fat shows, they're warming their way, Now it's becoming like a, now it's becoming a positivity thing. So the fat shows are warming their way, wriggling their way in. That makes sense. Go on, I'm trying to figure out. Took me out of here. I used to be fat. I'm still fat, but I used to too.

The plus size boogie, queen, and original joke by boogie. What's the deal with fat people? Well, listen, for millions of drivers, I promise you, he's been called out hundreds of times on that already. Really, you think so? Fuck yeah, people know Mitch Hedberg. Let's see.

Yeah, but you can't lead with that. I can't see the comments. Yeah, whatever. He has comments turned off. Go hammer Boogie with you rip off head. You mishead bring rip off artists. He probably fucking, I don't know what he's talking. He probably doesn't or he hides it because he's such a fucking scam artist.

Mitch, yeah. He killed mishead's words joke like he tried to kill Frank Hassel. Her family is to scroll. Yeah, plus size of the gun, they don't know too. I know what happened. Collapse on stage with paramedics rushing to help her on September 12th.

Oh wow. Whew. Oh, on September, that's for it. Paramedics rushing to help her on September 12th. She actually collapsed on the ninth, but they rushed to help her on the 12th. That's how that reads. Plus size queen collapsed on stage with paramedics rushing to help her on September 12.

Valencia prime is down. Fatality. She's falling. Well, we've run the calculations, Mr. President. Valencia prime will enter our atmosphere on September 12. My God, that only gives us three days to get the paramedics there. Can we get all the kids out of the drag show? No, Mr. President, that's a hate crime.

Shit. Her family has described her as a bright and rising star, a planet, and have set up a go fun me for her funeral because the coffin will be the size of the disease. Oh my God. You see that coffins are getting bigger too? No, but I'm sure that's true. Let me see if I can find that. People are getting coffins, are getting...

The average American person is really much wider. Oh, that was 2013. Well, coffin maker reveals the size of caskets in the UK are getting bigger. People are wider. No, that was 2013. Well, Coffinmaker reveals the size of caskets in the UK are getting bigger. Yeah. People are wider. Wow. You can get a bigger burial plot too. Well, that's another fucking dumb, what a dumb thing. Super stitious. His fucking show all this money on burying wood boxes and corpse and the grease. I know. Fuck is wrong with you. Yeah, it really is a fucking, that's a, it's an idea whose time is way fucking past. Yeah. Nobody should be, nobody should be fucking buried.

Burn them up. Go do what you want with the ad, that should be the, the fucking default should be cremation. Yeah, put a, put like a, put, put it like a gun in my hand hand like throwing it, you know, so the cops will have to be like Oh, he's gonna cotton do a fake call. I was gonna kill himself. Yeah, get in there. Right arrest him Okay Her family is described her as a bright and rising planet and have set up a go for me taboo lounge and sports bar our host Did you have to put in sports bar? hosting an event in her memory.

The taboo lounge would have been okay. The taboo lounge and sports bar are hosting an event in her memory with all donations going into the medical exam. It ruled her death as natural causes. Yeah. McDonald's is a natural cause. Siding heart disease obesity and diabetes. That's natural causes now. If you're 700 pounds, she's not that big. No. Maybe COVID.

Shotgun. Pandemic's over. So I can say that now. Could be a filter of you out. Okay, what's next here on Fat Watch? Mm. Oh yeah, the LAUSD shared this food neutrality video on LAUSD, HRE, Instagram, they tell our kids that we've lied to them and there's no one food is better than any other food or else, suppressive food hierarchy. Okay, well, let's check this out.

These ladies look pretty smart. Let's see what they have to say about our food. Is that a salt occur? Yes, you know that it is. Smarter and seconds, good, quote, good versus bad food. And it's got vegetables and salad. Blurrimony and black dot nutritionist. That's who we're.

The black's not capitalized. I got us donuts. Those are so bad for you. Oh no, are they moldy? And are they poisoned? Are you allergic? No, I'm just saying. Mm.

You're judging my food choices based on a false standard of health again, aren't you? Gilti. Bad culture, fat phobia. And isn't the oppression, have created false hierarchies of food, and it shows up everywhere. For instance, harmful thought patterns like earning food through exercising, or that dessert is the reward for the punishment of eating vegetables.

Remember that you do not need to earn food. We are all who is who is that bitch? Remember that you do not need to earn the food. You're going to have to fix all the parents who are like no dessert unless you eat your veggies. Uh, like, Sean, at least Donuts moldy. What do you mean they They're bad for you. No, don't, don't, don't it's fine. That's the secret. Be your veggies. You can eat the, and then more, you know, more, they're same thing, I guess. A cigarette's are bad for you.

What do you mean? Don't they judge my health choices? Are they boys? Am I allergic to cigarettes? Right. Right. Are they white? Is that whether, you know, I mean mean this is savage X fatty is not making Why do so many girls with Rings through their nose at what is that a septum? What's the what's the thing in the thing? Well, no, no, no, but I mean that's why they always look like they should be let around by that No, I around by the fat girls have the ring to the nose. Yeah. Yeah. So you're making this too easy for people like me, Savage X Fanny.

I can't control myself. Okay. I'll incorrectly talk from a young age that our size and therefore the foods that we eat are markers of our self worth. Moralizing food can lead to harmful relationships of food. And as bitch, you need some kind of relationship with food. Yeah. What the fuck?

You need a divorce. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha separation, separation. Look, fried everything. It's not you. It's me. I'm gonna have a heart attack. Yeah. I'm gonna go stay with my mom, who's dead. It's 63 from a heart attack. Uh-oh, here we go. Sorted eating. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I just need to hear it again. Oh, here we go. Sort of eating. Instead of... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I just need to hear it again. Moralizing food can lead to harmful relationships

of food and the sort of eating. Eating. Disorder eating. Disseater order. Dis. Yeah, this. Dis-eater ordering. What's going on?

People's diction today. Oh, it's not, I just heard a whoop. What was that? Was that Chris the Kiwi? I think he might be calling it. No way. Yeah, I think so. Instead of focusing on good and bad things.

I tried to approach food with neutrality in mind. The only foods that are bad for you are foods that contain allergens, poisons, and contaminants. Or food that is spoiled or is otherwise inedible. So don't label food bad. Bitch, it is fucking full of contaminants. What are you talking about? Say there's none.

Say there's none. Huh. You need to balance. Like, just eat sugar. Just eat sugar. Why not? Just eat sugar. Just process it.

Eat high fructose corn syrup all the time. Oh, man. I'll say, what's the big deal? We are a fucking, we are a top fuel dressster. I'm having for a fucking wall at about 320 miles an hour. LA unified shared this. Yeah, great. That's great Smarter and second. The little still. Oh God. Okay. Pretty good one.

Pretty good found one. If you go home and you like, you tell that show that to anybody who's over like, you know, I don't know, 28. They're going to, there's going to be piss all over their pants. Uh, what the fuck's Tommy Paces? Okay. Well, we got Chris the Kiwi on. Do we really? Yeah, we really do. Oh my God. He just can't stay away, can he? Nah, he always calls in at night. Well, I know as well as tomorrow. What is it?

It's like the middle of the day tomorrow, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Um, something about the fat doctor. Let's see this. Fat people die younger, right? This is fat doctor, UK. Mm-hmm. Wrong. Oh, even the CDC admits that fat people live longer. Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

And being very fat fails to show up as a statistically significant mortality risk. You know the, what? Is this guy got like some kind of, some kind of eating, some kind of disorder? Just eat or order and. There's a? Is this guy got like some kind of some kind of eating some kind of disorder disorder and there's a lot of people who just like, oh, I'm doctor blah blah blah blah blah, I'm giving health advice. They're like fucking chiropractors and shit. This lady, I think I read this Jamaican lady and this thing works for like a donut factory

or something like a PR for a I didn't really look it up, but I'm fucking, you know, I didn't look it up twice, but you can just say whatever the fuck you want. But if you're a diabetic or have high blood pressure, a cholesterol, though, then it's definitely good for you. No problem. There's no evidence to support. This is person is a crackpot. I'm not, I'm not reading any of that ridiculous stuff. Here is this one's from RoboCock, FatWatch today in fat news, SuperFidHero. I think we've talked about these guys. Yeah. Bring him plus size active wear and swimwear in size is L to 7XL.

7XL, there's a thing called 7XL. My mind was blown at triple XL. Seven XL? There's a thing called seven XL. My mind was blown at triple XL. When I saw XXL, I was like, no fucking way. I didn't think you could live. Maybe they do live longer. They're actually up to seven XL. Maybe I'm missing out. Maybe time slows down,

because they're eating so much. And the gravity's so big that there's time dilation experiences, and their lifespan is actually like a thousand years, really seems like 56, when they have a hard attack, because they've already seen like, think how long the heart attack lasts. Oh, this is based in L.A. Wow. Look at these ladies, this lady has a butt on her knees.

Yeah, look at that. Yeah, sure does. On the front. Wow, that's right. On the front. She's got front butts. She's got double guns on her knees. That's incredible.

These two ladies are, I don't know what they're flexing. They look like they may be conjoined twins as well. They're they're gons of fused together. This is amazing. This is a super fit hero. Now what's going on on the right here? Just a couple. Yeah. Let's see Sean.

Good question. Good question, Aguato. Yeah. First of all, he's a stablish emotive. I think that's a man. What's it? Those fucking legs. Is that a man? That's what I was a motor. And this, I think that's a man. Look at those fucking legs. Is that a man?

That's what I was wondering. Well, that's an NB, I guess. And that is a, I don't know, like, yeah. Dude, what is the, what is the appeal of this way? I mean, I know the stereotype about black men and fat white women. Not this fat, it's not.

No, I was gonna say this is not, no, that does black man dirty. Right this fat, it's not. No, I was gonna say this is not. No, that does black man dirty. Right. Like, up to a certain point, yeah. You know, you add like 40 pounds. Like, okay, that's a broken, nonsense. Oh my. What is the appeal of having these racing stripes or perhaps eating stripes on your pants at this size? What is the appeal of spandex? Of workout?

What is the appeal of workout? You know that's supposed to be like an inch pin stripe or like a half inch pin stripe down the leg. It's like stretched out to like nine inches. I've got alien balloon. Yeah. You see that one? Where they've, they get an alien,

oh, I only find it. Oh. They get an alien balloon and it has like a tiny face and then they blob the balloon and the face is still tiny. Oh. Alien balloon. Oh, alien balloon. Oh, it looks like an alien, is that? Yeah, yeah, it's supposed to be like alien balloon tiny face.

Like alien balloon tiny face. I know all the tiny face stuff. I'm sure you get sent stuff, right? Yeah. Well, it'll see it on bookies. There it is. Bookies channel next week. Yeah, see, look, this is how it blew up.

Gotcha. Okay. I guess a bunch of them did. They couldn't figure out how to make these. I'll be damned. Ailing and balloons. Yeah, okay. Well, that's super fit hero.

I can't get over that woman's legs. No. That's crazy. They're like fucking sculptures. Yeah. By like, by a demented like Ghostbusters man. It looks like somebody like demonologist. Mashed pumpkins onto the front of her legs like. And then this woman is a pregnant, but in the wrong, she tried to, she was like, when are you the poo,

she got stuck in a hole, trying to climb into Rabbit's house to get honey. Yeah. And then- And then just stay in there until they stay in there. Stay in there, right? Yeah, and then she got yanked out and it didn't, because it's not a cart life,

it's not a cartoon, it didn't pop back to normal. Yeah. That's too bad. Boy, that's, yeah. And this poor girl too bad. Boy, that's... And this poor girl, she's just a little fat, right? Like, these... Yeah, we're not even... We're not even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even You know what she's not a contender. She's not a true heavyweight. I hope that she has thought about her life after this because she's got like a pretty face. Yeah, those are the heartbreakers.

No, you can save that. No, you can't fall into that trap. You can, no, no, no, not you. I mean, that can be, you know, you can pull, meaning you, me, you can pull it out, you can pull it out. You can pull it together, you're still young, you still have it out. You can pull it together. You're still young. You still have your youth. God damn you, dummy, peace. Us. Let's talk to Chris the keyway. Sure. Okay. That was a great fat watch.

That watch today and that news. Go ahead and steal that one, Boogie. You ask all. Okay, Colin. To do to you. Hey, how are you doing? Honestly, bad. I'm in the park again. Are you in the park? Yeah. How's the weather down there? It's really sunny. It's really fun. Not a cloud in the sky. Well, how do you need cloud anyway? Oh, that's wonderful. And you're the pandemic is over.

Did you know that Biden said it was over? So it's over. I don't really watch the news. I'll just listen to the radio news. But I'm bottom he's a really really pisses me off. He's not a really good leader. Is he? Well, why do you not think he's a good leader?

Why does he piss you off? Well, the first is too old and Trump is. Yes, he's too old. Yeah, Trump is, he's, he's not as sort of senals Biden. And he's got his, he's got this shit together. So I think Trump is, he's got the right ideas. He's like leaning towards the right. And I think he really cares about the American people. That's the impression I always got. Yeah, that's true. Sean doesn't, I love Trump.

Sean's not on board yet. I don't know. We could blow up to convince him to vote. I spent all night last night listening to the Queen, Queen's, Queen's junior, or did you know much about the Queen? Yeah, everything. I know that she didn't have to pay any estate tax, and that's fucking bullshit,

because everyone else has to pay estate tax, but somehow she's out of it. So, this is, you know, that's... I think it might be because she's still a lot the world leader, really, isn't she? Do you think so? Yeah, I'll do. Oh, she's your queen, isn't she?

Yeah, you're Australian New Zealand, I'm part of the Commonwealth. Were you sad that she was dead? Yeah, a little bit, but I'll tell you who my favorite leader was, Princess Dianne, that she was my favorite role family member. Why is that?

She really cared about people like, she used to help poor people and go to the countries and help people who are involved in land mines and blinds. I remember that. I actually have no concern. You're laughing. You're laughing as you describe people with their blown limbs off.

Did you say involved in land mines? Yeah. I don't know about country, but I think she was here, lots of them, yeah, like, and by year and places in Africa and all that. Yeah. So, did you see the insults? So, I put it on Twitter, do you think they're all funny? Let's see, let me load them up right now.

Did you DM them to me or did you tweet them at me? I tweet them, yeah, I'll look at the question. Okay, you've sent me some pictures of a nude girl that I really hope is 18. Mm-hmm. You've sent me some Kermit stuff. Sure, let's see here. Hey, it's fine, it's fine, what do you have?

Is that you and Ted Bundy? It's fine, what do you have, okay? Yeah, it's okay, it's been better before. It's right. Well, yeah, okay. Yeah, it's okay. It's been better before. It's fine. Yeah, it's okay. Oh, that's good. Ted Bundy. What about him?

You have a, you have a picture of Ted Bundy on your Twitter page as your as your head as your headline or whatever that is. So do you think I should remain put put some yes up there? Well, what I mean, Gacy Why do you have Ted Bundy as your as your marquee? I don't know. I just sort of got them the other day for the first time for a while What did you think about I think he's why are you not saying you're up there too? What's that sure?

He's he's got he's you've got dick up there too I got what? What's that, Sean? He's got, you've got dick up there too. I got what? You've got me and Ted Bundy and then a little Kiwi cartoon of you. So it seems like you've got like the three of us up there as like a Mount Rushmore on your Twitter profile. That was a screenshot of a YouTube clip on just of the screenshot at the introduction. You know how I'm just wondering about the composition. I think Riley. I think I'll be quite cool to put it up there.

It looks cool. Yeah. Go ahead. My Instagram got deleted for hate speech. Oh, what'd you say? Say like N word and don't say the actual bad words, or we'll bleep them out anyway, I don't care. I don't know, they're pretty good towards me. They warm me for a long, long time, and all of a sudden I just took advantage of it, and they just suddenly decided to delete my account.

What did you say? I can't remember exactly. Okay. Um. Um. Was there something that you said in public, or did you say it to someone? Um, I think it was jealery surrounding, um,

I don't know, maybe, um, Miss Lodgeny, like, um, saying things, saying, insulting things to those females or something like that. I think that part of the bed. I'm't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can try to talk the brain, but he's a slight really slack in replying to me, so I do try to email him a while ago, but you just, some for some reason he just doesn't reply, so I'm not too sure what's going on there. Oh, can't tell you ins. Oh, okay. You've got a link to the Ted Bundy movie movie the sorority house murders scene on your Twitter. Oh

Yeah, the was it this is so are hey, you know, that's a this a question. I wanted to ask you what's a sorority house? Do you know it's in Caught on university here like where kids get out of get out of their parents house and go to university sorority house is where a bunch of girls live together and like, it's like a social club for them and they all live together. Like in a big house. I thought it was something sexual.

No, you'd like to think that, but it's just a bunch of, I mean, probably doing, probably, like doing Lesbosha at all the time. They're women. Yeah, so what do you think of my retro radio collection anyway? Your retro radio? You collect vintage radios? Yeah, something like that.

I try to get them new old stock, but if I get one which is sort of broken or something like that, I'll just try and repair it. Like I just, I'm, I'm, I'm only just sent to you like basic repairs, not sort of, you know, complicated stuff. So you do, you have to find the parts though, right? I mean, old radio repairing. That's a pretty, pretty, pretty, just specific hobby. Yeah. Those parts are like, I can just allow to read about a guy doing retro radio repair. Where did you pick this out? Spinning all night in his garage. Well, I don't know much about it, but I know often when I get a retro radio,

when I, as soon as I turn on, it doesn't work at all. The volume's very low and the latter would be that the electrolytic capacitors are in the replacing because I have you had an electrolytic capacitor? I've heard of them, yeah. But maybe Sean probably doesn't tell him about them. Yeah. You need to replace it because I can get old.

Yeah. So that's true. So there's a girl that there's one, two, three cookies. She says, why did you post a screenshot of message you sent me? It's very creepy. And then she says, what the fuck is this? What is that all about? I don't know, she's really weird.

Like, what I just was, what I just, I first contacted her on Facebook. And I sent, I, because they use her name's Cookie, I just sent a picture of Cookie Monster. Sure. That's cool. I put the image of Cookie Monster on the, on Twitter here, image of Cookie Monster and she liked it.

But all of a sudden, when I said something against her views, she, um, she immediately went on the defensive and said, what the fuck are you putting, tweeting a, um, Cookie Monster on my profile for and she just blocked me and I just she she told us what do you call it? digging her. Negging. Negging. She told us digging her.

Yeah. What is what is digging exactly mean? Well, what did you say there was against her views? Oh, she just told me that she had a post about about some elementary elementary schools for adults, isn't it, in your country? No, it's for kids. So what's high school? It's a high school for adults. High schools for teenagers. Okay. Well, I think it was basically high school when she had a screenshot of our letter that she obviously got from a school studying their dress code and that one of the dress codes was that that females aren't where revealing clothing that exposes their nipples or genitals and I said,

well, I actually tweeted here and said, well, students are there to learn not to look, not to look not to curve on other girls or something and she didn't block my comments and that's why she blocked me. Oh, I see. So you were you were in support of the dress code? Yeah, I was in support of it and I just called her a snowflake, you know, the snowflake is no way what?

No, you know what a snowflake is? is a snow oh a snowflake. Oh, okay Okay, well I see you posting a Queen Elizabeth Tributes here to yeah coin. Yeah, I thought I did the right thing because she's been she's been throughout the time when I was born So I yeah, she sort of means a lot to me, you know? So how about Prince Philip, though? Were you a Prince Philip fan? I was a big Prince Philip, that.

Her husband or husband? No, he was hilarious. Oh, yeah. I wasn't actually really, but I was more focused on dying if I some reason. Yeah, but yeah, Philip was funny. He used to just not give a fuck, you know. But I'm sorry.

Prince Charles, he married this old ugly woman. Yeah, if you see in the Camilla. Camilla Parker Bowles. Yeah, Parker Bowles, you don't like her. Yeah, no, I hate her, right? Well, she tried to put in Diana's place. Were you really sad when Princess Di was killed? I wasn't like Havasu, I remember that.

Yeah, I looked at the U.T. funeral, it was really sad. Yeah, you were really sad. Did you think you would meet Princess Di? Yeah, I would have thought to be, but I know where she's buried though. Well, that's not creepy at all. What? Why do you know where she's buried? I just realized that, but apparently she's buried in the island and there where she was

raised as a child or something. I think she was buried on the island somewhere. Okay. Uh, what about Dodie Fiehead? Where's that fucking asshole? They should replay him for something if you had to say. Go ahead. What was the idea of Fiehead? Was he a bad guy?

I have no idea. They're all bad guys. If you could say anything to Princess Di, what would it be? I said, I wish I got to know you, that's all. Yeah. At least it wasn't I. I wish I got a chance to wear your skin. What if you, what if you said like, oh, me too, Christopher, my God. Yeah, my, the audio and my Skype is still like cutting it on out.

Oh, fuck, it's in my Skype is sort of like cutting in and out. They know what you're talking about. Fuck, it's because you're in the park. Okay, well, how have things been with the horrors lately? No, what's the park I got to do with it though? Well, because you're not on Wi-Fi. It's always better on Wi-Fi. Yeah, coverage could be, you know, coverage is spotty. So what was your question?

How have the horrors been treating you? I haven't seen any, actually, I'm itchy in a hyper relationship at the moment What an open relations usually people can't even lie People bury the lead a little bit and say relationship and then just broke my brain. What do you mean you're in an open relationship? Well, what's wrong with that? Well, nothing. What do you mean you're okay? Tell us about her, please or him. Well, she's this.

I'm sort of on, I'm actually quite honest and open with her, but even before I met her, even shortly after I met her, I said, I you have you in an open relationship and she said, yes, so I met her I said, I have you on open relationship and she said yes. So I met her on Instagram. Okay. But um, can you do you want to send me her Instagram? I'm so happy to have been that. Have you guys met in person?

Um, yes, we, we meet, we meet pretty much, wriggly, um, at least once a week. Um, just go to the shopping center or going to have lunch or a coffee or really? Yeah. Do you bang? Do you fuck her? Oh, yeah. Do you pay? No, we all pay. I'm banging. I bang you're at your house actually. And her house just a house. Oh, no, no, she's at the renting at the moment. Okay, well, yeah, but she's not, oh, she has an indoor place to go at night. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, but do you pay her? No, what I need to do that. Well, because, I mean, wow, women going on the track

and I'm like, yeah, yeah. I still have a friend who named Claire. I've done here for four years. Yeah. No, actually, I've done here for about seven years now and I'm still good friends of us. I was in the relationship with her for four years and I still met up with her as a friend each week.

So why is your friend is really on that? So. So you dating a girl that you met on Instagram and you're in X's and you go and you see an X's and then you go to her place, you go to the shopping store and then go to her, shopping mall and then you go to her place and bang every week. Yeah.

That's great. What does she look like? Well, she's probably not your cup of tea, but I look at everything really. Well, they're all too fat for me. That's true. He's not going to like anybody's girlfriend. But what I was going to say is, as I say, beauty is in your eye, the beholder. Yeah. So what was it going to say? What do you? Yeah boobs? What's going on? She's got brown here, okay?

Missing any limbs on the on the trapezoid You got a apology I'm gonna try to decide. Sure enough, you gotta apologize, that's fine. But I was gonna ask you, me changing the subject again, as always. When you did the men and men and women, you said that was like a joke, but there were some seriousness into what you were doing. Is that why you did it? I don't sort of, I've never been able to understand that you've never been able to understand men are better than women

I Mean it's serious. You tell me it wants to be serious But then on the other hand you went you said not it's not serious. You're just like doing it just to get a reaction I mean well, you know some things you can't do it. What did you do it? Some things you can't say literally. You have to say something that's crazy, and then you have to watch people react to it and they say crazy things. Okay, so if I read your book right, and if I based my life on that book,

would I be really good with women? I mean, would I actually score like women and stuff like that, or? I mean, it wouldn't hurt. It depends how far you take it. You gotta pump the brakes sometimes. But you have got a girlfriend. It sounds like you're doing well.

You know, knowledge in the wrong hands is a dangerous thing. The ex... What did you think of that naked lady? I mean, seeing us on the hyper relationship, there's nothing stopping me from having sex or having women in that way. Like her? Like the other girl? You're fucking hurt too? No, I would say there's nothing stop me from having sickle sex or other women that way like her like the other girl you're fucking her too I know I would say there's

things stopping him. No I mean that that that 18 year old girl she lives thank god self self from Australia. There's hot fucker. Did you see the pictures over there? Yeah, I did. Yes, but I didn't. Until now I didn't remember them. Right. Oh, yeah. Very high. Girl, go fuck her. How much does she cost? Well, apparently she, apparently she said a bit of a shady past.

Apparently she said she tried to, like, you know, it's so such. What do you always laugh at? You laugh at the limbs getting blown off? You're laughing at the suicide thing? Why do you always laugh at that? Well, I think you think it's called a funny, don't you? Yeah, I'm kind of. But anyway, it's not, it's not, it is, it not, it's really sad. Because she had a miscarriage and this was why she tried

to burn herself in her house with her son. And she went to jail and then she got released. And then that's how I got speaking to online. And then she- Before pictures? Okay, wait, wait, wait, go slower because you're giving us a lot of interesting info. Yeah. She had a miscarriage. She had a miscarriage. She because you're giving us a lot of interesting info. Yeah, she had a miscarriage

She had a miss she found out she was under a lot of stress. She was having domestic problems with their then partner okay um, and then She miscarried and then she felt so depressed she she tried to commit suicide by Sending her house on fire with her and sign it, but she didn't succeed. She's not succeed. She went to jail for it. And when she got released, that's when I got started talking to her. I just started talking to her

out of coincidence. And then I didn't hear for a while, three months later, she said hi to me back, reply to me, and then she told me that she was telling me, nah, I'll try to messenger, I said some insulting things to her, but she didn't seem to care. She thought the guy's like, she thought the guy's sexually frustrated. What are we talking about?

So you're, you're usual tactic of saying horrible insults to her worked. Yeah, I'll take that. Unfucking believable. Talk about naked. Always works. Yeah, I'm fucking believable. Talk about naked. Always works. Always fucking works on one of them always. That's right, because we're not saying

unsolving things. So she said, I really know you had the camera down. It will stop you from being really aggressive. I'll just be a little slacker. I'll be a little slacker. I'll see you. Like it pictures on myself when she did. Yeah, but how do you know it's really her?

Because you've been fooled before. Oh, I did because I've spiked him before and she's pretty. Can you want to send me her Instagram? I won't show it on the show, but just send it to me so we can look at it and tell you give you our opinions. Yeah Well, I was I'll send you what I can on here, but um not pictures. You sent me a link to her Instagram I don't know if she's got Instagram. I can't across here on Facebook okay, Facebook's fine too. I'll look on Facebook

But when I read when I read the article online, I did actually come up with their name, so I do think she's genuine, it's like a core article. But now I've found out recently, as I started talking to a couple days ago, she's actually works in the adult industry and that's why she sent me negative pictures. Okay, yeah. So, yeah, she's, you said it always works, so one of them, is that correct? Yeah, I mean, that's why, like, it does. It does. No matter how it's a love or a game.

It's a love or a game. And how fucking bizarrely you're behaving online, it will always work on one of them. And the rest of the females say they just, if they see that you're aggressive, they immediately run their way and the madness they could never talk to you, you could be the right one, but they sub into the right one. Do you agree with me? You could be the right one, no. I don't agree with that. What's it? I know, I don't agree with that. You could be the right one? No, I don't agree with that. What's it? No, I don't agree with that. You could be the right one. Let me send me a link to this girl that you're talking to.

But it's going to mess things up with your relationship. Want it? It's open, Dick. It's open. Well, that's a trick. Problem solved. It's a fucking trick. Yes, it could be a fucking problem.

No, no potential problems. Yeah, but if she said the okay, well, she was actually, she was actually pretty upset because she didn't, but initially she just accepted it. So I thought I was almost about, she said, yes, it's to make me happy, but she didn't really know what I mean, by... Open. She didn't know how many brides you've got. Yeah, man, you've got some, I didn't know how many brides you've got. Yeah, man, you've got some, get some irons in the fire there. I'm gonna die. Hopefully branding irons.

Take a keep up now. Have you been going to therapy too? I identify them. I see you get some pigs, you know, some like crayon picture here of all these like affirmations and shit. What is this? Oh, um, this was going back a long time ago. Is that him?

I was really really down, well, I just came across the profile. I don't know if it was because I was in the down the dance, but I dissearched life coaches and apparently, she had all these positive things. What do you think, do you think what she's saying is depressing or negative or what? Is this like a girl's thing that she's wrote here? Good morning fellow being like a girl like she basically she said that um she gets depressing she had a she said that she had a friend that basically took her own life

and that's why she started going into that sort of thing. And that's why she is laughing again. Right. Yeah. What? Some people, some, honestly, some people do that when they talk about, like, death and really more about death. And you talk about death, you start laughing. Yeah, that's, he was not the only one.

That's why she, that's why she, one of the changed people's lives, or at least she thought that she was changing lives. But I mean, I hate that shit, but whatever, and people like it. I mean, you're a lot of fun. What is a life case exactly? Oh, drinking buddy, mainly. Yeah, man, family, somebody you drink and do drugs with. Are you sending me a life case exactly? Oh, well drinking buddy mainly. Yeah, man family somebody you drink and do drugs with Are you sending me that are you sending me a link to this person or what?

Well, I'm using my phone. I'm I can't because I can't use you I can't really use you instead Why I'm using scope at the same time? Okay, we'll put it put it down and go to you like another tap and do it real fast and Then we're gonna go I Can't because she has to go on. So I'll send you a letter on it, okay? I mean, I guess I wanna look at it when you're on the phone though. Yeah, but she hasn't sent me one.

I don't know if she's got one. Oh, so you just have those nude pictures of her? Yeah. Those were not in Facebook. And she's got a Facebook type picture as well, which doesn't have any new pictures on. I'll continue the ice pictures and see what you think. Just send me your Facebook profile link.

I will. Okay. I'll see you, love you. Okay. Bye. Bye. He's gonna do that later. He's gonna do that now, I guess.

I don't know. I was fucking more insane than ever. It's out of his god damn mind. It's got a relationship. He's sure, yeah, I mean, he's, are you fucking serious? Chris, the Kiwi has a relationship. There's like, there's like 10 Dixiel listeners

who are killing themselves at the moment. Who knows? Who knows? I don't know. Do you think that this one like walks up right It's amazing. Okay, I'll do a comment. Then we're done. What is it? A-Five, ambles over to his house.

Come shooting out of the bushes. Rather than just looking for it. Did we read this one, Stifallis? Says, dear, dear guy, I lost 100 pounds through the way last contest. I think I started reading. I lost 100 pounds through the way last contest. I think I started reading, because I lost 60 pounds, but I have continued to lose more. I went from 3.30 to 2.30, I'm 6.1,

so I'm not really too fat at 2.30. When I gained the weight, I was dating a very attractive 110 pound blonde chick with decent tits for her size. Long story short, I broke up with her after gaining the weight. It's a odd move. but then started losing it. I'm 33 now. I live in a small town of 15,000 people. Not many of us make it out of here.

So by the time we reach our 20s, we know pretty much everyone who lives here. There's a girl who has a huge crash on me when we were in middle school. I was too shy to make anything happen, but always think about how I could have lost my virginity too. So it's lamenting.

Come on! Why would you phrase it like that? Come on! Does he know there was this girl? I lost it with the wrong girl. There was this girl in junior high. My life has never been the same. It's all beautiful. One girl, there was this girl in junior high. My life has never been the same. So beautiful, you know, red hair, blue eyes,

and I just always wish I would have lost my virginity to her. Yeah. Has that ever occurred to you? That's, I mean, if I've heard that sentence once, I've heard it a thousand times, Dick. It's guys at the bar. Yeah. What's troubling?

Wow, what's troubling is Sam? troubling, you say, I'm... Well, I lost my virginity to the wrong girl. Yeah. Now that we're adults, don't make the same mistakes that I've made. Sticks like it. Saves your virginity for that one that got away. Right. Now that we're adults, I'm the one who has had a crush on her.

When I started losing the weight, I dumped my girlfriend because I had been talking to this other girl through social media. After losing a considerable amount. What does he keep saying? It just coincide with gaining weight or he seems to like make that important that when I gained weight, I dumped her. Like when I, you know.

Yeah. I will maybe we'll find out. Okay. I was confident enough to ask her out on a date. She rejected my date offer, but continued to talk to me. And then I called my girlfriend. That called my girlfriend. Yeah, I am not too interested in talking with women as friends

so the conversation dwindled, as I was not too engaged. However, I started dating someone else. This other girl constantly posts pictures of us on social media. Oh, what a bitch. And because we live in this small town where everyone knows each other, this other girl who previously declined my date offer

seems to now be obsessed with me. She messages me constantly and gives me compliments almost every time I engage in conversation with her. She has double-debrests. Now I see. An athletic build, the girl I'm currently dating has sea cups and could probably afford to lose 20 pounds. Jump that bitch!

Jump that bitch dude! So he used her to get the other one interested. Well, he's gonna have something going on. Should I dump this new girlfriend and an attempt to go after this other whore? Or is she just into me because I have moved on from her? Yes. Um, I mean, it depends, honestly, it depends on your appetite for cruelty. If you gave up food, you might want to eat something else.

The other girl is, you sound a little, no offense. You sound like maybe your rap sprung a little bit. I don't know. You know, sometimes you get this, and you're taped. I think, wow, that guy's, no bitch is gonna trick him, right? You get the sense from guys, like, yeah, he's got him. He's got women figured out. I don't really get the sense that you got women figured out here. You're just bouncing back from King Hippo status.

So be very careful, but she's fucking with you. She's trying to fuck up your relationship, but you know, relationships aren't important. So, hey, Maddie, who cares? Can you not eat the paper? No, paper is good for her. What do you think, Sean? What should you do?

What should Staphala do? I don't know, man. I really don't. Go after the... Do whatever you want. Today with the fatso or go back with the double-g. I can give it a run. Like, he sounds young, right?

Fucking make a mess. Make a mess. Yeah. 33. Oh, 33 is not that young. Yeah, he says, recently skinny 33. That's true. So mentally, maybe he's 28. It could be. Yeah, he's going backward. No matter what happens, no matter what you do, it's not your fault. Don't feel bad. Even worse, you can't take him with you. Doesn't matter.

Oh, he didn't send it. Chris the Kiwi. Come on, Chris. You fucking asshole. Oh, god. All right. All right, everybody, that's the big show. Patreon.com.com.com.com. So, see you next Tuesday.

Presenting. Oh, shit. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, yeah, yeah

All right bonus episode next week seat yeah, I think I need some time to come up with some inventions all right That puts in inventions. All right. All right. Working on it. I'm working on it. Whatever you're doing, do it faster. Hey, Dick, just listen to the latest episode. I have to say this, Ethan Ralfcott. I know you're sick and tired.

Everyone hates him. The kind tired of hearing all the people that hate him and complain about him but i only know him from your show me too uh... i tried listening to his pill stream once when you are on it yeah i don't i guess i don't spend enough time on the internet the listen good for you

aimless boring stream like that but what she is gosh is he such a pansy like it's just hard to listen to him okay carl and I carl put it perfectly if anyone give a shit about any of the internet drama I mean like they'll actually like it's real people do care oh you had a guy i think some drunk irish idiot said one thing wrong on your show your show's preventing fake like who cares i'm so boring you're too mature for the internet sir but i mean i know you're gonna keep having them on. You like the fact that people hate him. He's funny.

He's funny. He's funny. Yeah, anyway. Other than that, Ethan Rouse was annoying, but you had a great show. It was really funny. So go fuck yourself big and hop your shan. It was a good show.

That was a great show. Yeah. I was drunk until Monday. I believe it. Maybe Tuesday. Yeah, how was drunk until Monday. I believe it. Uh, maybe Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah, how much money companies don't... Deito came wandering in. Yeah, how much money company spend trying to make someone do something like call a number?

I know. Billions. Yeah. Sure. Ralph. Nothing. Puh-uh-uh. Pulsing out of dinner. Puh- of thin air. I don't know

You can hate them all you want but Hey, David. Hey, Sean come back to you. Hey, I have a quick little rage Remember when your dad fell off his bike dick when he was out of that little bike. Yeah, I remember I want to work this dead from home. And I get one text all day, says there's pizza. And I'm like, that's kind of weird. So is that usually we get pizza on the weekend. And my dad is a bandage on his face.

And I'm like, that's weird. And his eyes are a little puffy. That's like, it's funny. My dad get clothes caught at the supermarket for women. And I'll raise shirt or some shoes. No, he took that mountain bike, got fucking halfway down the street. Two and a half years. Look down, and here's a parked car.

Man, he's just face. His wayband, man, has to into his face and cut it. Right? He needs stitches. You know, I come and ask him, what's going to happen? He's like, oh, he's running to the boy. You know, I'm just still just, like, like, if you were that with Todd, and how it's harder to my, I'm happy, you're a fuck.

All right, good luck to self, bye. Trying to ride an unfamiliar bike, you know, wasn't used to the shifting. Look down for like, yeah, what is, I don't know. Let me just check out, let me just take this bike out for a spin. Hit a parked car. Oh, yeah. Oh, all right just check out, let me just take this bike out for a spin. He had a parked car.

Yeah. All right. Got like halfway down the street, like, and then just crashes into a kidney bar. Oh, shit, I better go buy a pizza. Yeah. Did he, did he drive himself to the, did he get in his car and drive to the hospital? They really don't know what they do. I get this point out on the bike.

What are you fucking doing? Map it out on me like a crying on at the Olive Garden show me how all the olive got to the pizza store and got back home with stitches in his face. Right. Go. Yeah. Drive himself to the ER, get stitches and then swing by little seasors on the fucking way home. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I just want to emphasize the trajectory of my life on since the Dick Show is after it. Okay. I found your show from YouTube clips thinking, I don't think I should like this, but I really like this. You shouldn't like it. Like, people around me are not going to be stoked to have a right to this, but I fucking like that you said like it like people around us not to be stoked that i like this but i but i like it i like the way this guy

is fucking screaming about shit yes that's funny too and he's yelling about it the same way i yell about it you know not to say that i got no you yell better than me. You are the best at yelling obviously good yell or yeah Master Sony and Rages going on in my head You know it found your show didn't know it anything was going on Listen to the OG original prop biggest problem and here I am now a better man with a better job

Then I had before then because I thought I have to do it. And I just want to say that Dick Schoen has been such a positive thing in my life. Thank you for going through work. So thank you so much, Dick. And Sean, hey, thank you. Good for you. That's great. So many people have had success. And some people don't even know that it's because they've been listening to the show. Yeah, I would say most people don't. They accredited it to like, they're on stuff. Yeah.

But really it's because they're subconsciously taking in life, they've eyes and stuff. Yeah, they've listened to so many hours of poison, they've built up an immunity to it. Yeah, it's all poison, but they could just laugh at anything bad that happens like Chris the Kiwi. Like kids are getting themselves blown off in fields in Africa and Princess Dye shows up and does a PSA about unexploded land.

What a fucking odd juxtaposition. Yeah. I'm quite, I was quite upset with the Queen dive, yeah. Oh, I know. I just died was my favorite, yeah. Yeah, because you would go to like little kids who got their arms blown off. Right.

Yeah. Uh, he's, uh, he's fantastic. He's near one of a kind. Uh, okay. Let's see here. Scared working. Hey, Deca, Sean, I kind of have a rage. But there's a little more that I just kind of got scared.

I know a man in a meeting is scared, but give me out. I walk my dog to you at the night. If I get to work about 11 and then nine. Man admitting it. Man, no, no, no, no. I think I break whatever in that. Man, many scared.

Mm-hmm. What do you mean? I mean, you should be scared all the time. Okay. All kinds of predators and women. Women predators. Yeah, women predators out there, agents, and ruination and discord hunting you down, trying to destroy you at all times. You can't possibly, you can't, you should be in fear constantly. What are you talking about?

It's a man. Again, go back to, well, you gotta be a man and rebuild that. You gotta be a man. You can't be afraid when you're walking around the dirt. Man, I'm fucking terrified out here. It could be any sort of thing coming after me. Yep.

All right. Are we leaving text messages? That can happen. Yep. All right. Hmm. Uh, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, I wash my dog pre-related nights. I get up work about 11 and then night and So I take a break whatever and then I walk them for sometimes 1 2 in the morning when I'm walking I live in a college town and I'm walking my dog and I carry a pistol and The pistol I'm carrying the night doesn't have a safety on it. So I don't keep the cock and I don't know. It's just like my rage is that These kids that wear masks all the time and I'm not talking about code and masks And I don't know, just like my rage is that these kids that wear masks all the time, and I'm not talking about code masks.

I'm not talking about cream masks, like ski masks, because it's fucking the end of summer and fall. And they wear it as like a, yeah, that's like a, fuck you. I don't know, it's some sort of fashion or some shit, but it's just hood shit that they shouldn't be doing, because they're like people that wear ski masks and fucking people walk in the dogs that are scared.

Whatever the fuck they call the ones that like cover the head and the mouth and but that's just the eyes show. The eye's showing. The eye's showing. And they could be like, Camo, and they'll be all kinds of fucking different types. But you can run around the corner because you've run away from his friend or whatever. Exactly. Both of them, they're both masked up, and he ran up behind me real fast.

And I'm just on the block, walking my dog. And so I nearly caught my gun and have my hand on it. I'm waiting and they get real close to me, but they're real fucking quiet. You know what I mean? And it's all because they're wearing these masks. And I like just walk by and I cut the corner and walked and they didn't follow me.

So I didn't have to worry about it. But my heart of me, we got racing and they didn't follow me, so I didn't have to worry about it. But where does my heart immediately got racing on all the shit? Oh, fucking city. The city, every city is like this. I don't know where, which makes you a target, because I think that in the middle of the fucking night, you're gonna be pulling some fuck shit.

I mean, maybe a chance is always pretty sick, but I don't know where is that. I mean, the chances of getting fucking mugged are low, but here comes Johnny Baclava. Johnny, right? Sure. In the middle of the night. Yeah. I'm like, well, am I risking just sitting here and looking like I'm not.

He's probably eight of you and I'm not cocking a gun in my shorts. He's probably more in danger from a pack of coyotes. Yes, probably, but still. This is where we, a bunch of tough guys stomping around at night, trying to look tough. There's too many people crammed together in these cities. I don't know. It's a shitty feeling.

Like, mm. People cram together in these city, I don't know. It's a shitty feeling. Like, mm. That's why you gotta do like the old nights way to do things. Like, oh, oh, right. Go there. Oh, hey, hold there. Yeah.

Whoa, hey, who? I guess you would kind of tell the one person was pulling a fast one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's see, try it your best. At least you tried your best. That's all the counts.

Okay, let's see here. Thank you. Hey, Dick, this is the big chook. I just truly want to thank you for standing up against those handbeats on behalf of the Midwest. When they're saying, yeah, big, sad women. Acceptable to be fat out here. I want to fucking die waking up every morning knowing that I weigh less than the average woman to see out here.

Yeah. I remember, but I'm not looking for a chick. I don't, you know, sometimes I'll mention, I have one rule. She has to weigh less than me or look like she weighs less than me. We have 180 fucking pounds. And if I, if I mention that rule to a woman, I'll get these dirty look on the planet. Oh, you're so thin, COVID even fair to see that rule.

So that, so that rule even fair. No, that's a hundred and eight times. Yeah the fair. No, that's a good rule. That's a good rule. Can't love repeat after me. Repeat after me. I can't love a woman with cellulite. 180. I just can't.

I can't. My mother didn't have it. I don't know. I just don't I can't my mother didn't have it. I don't know I just don't like it I I know that it's a it's a me thing. I just can't love I'll be with one I'll fuck you, but I cannot love a woman who's cellular that's it you put that right out front That's I mean don't hide yourself be who you are Okay, one more is one about gummy worms. Oh Hey You know what I've got a stop problem

I am not fat, but I would like to continue not being fat. Okay, you know, I Whatever It's you can't buy like I love gummy worms. Okay, Matt. Stop it. They're my weakness. All of life. You know, is it they're like, hey, would you like to suck on the city? Or would you like to suck on a gummy worm? I would be like, give me that gummy worm every day. They're not even that good. No, they're good. Even like a little. The salary. I can't fucking deal with that. Like, what the fuck? That's the's the way to. I wish I could buy a package. I don't want to have to pay the price.

I don't have to pay the price. I'm different. Okay, I cannot be trusted. Why does Don't eat the gummy worms? But if I can buy like 200 calories, I don't care. It's just a little pouch full of like three gummy worms. That would be enough. I just want to be able to buy that.

You know, I don't know. Maybe it's just fucking crazy. But there's a market here for soon people fatties next. I swear it. Okay, calculate. Just like the memory of snacks. No, because gummy bears have like a different mouth feel

than gummy worms. They're not the same. They like break up, you show them in your spit and they break apart differently. They do have it. They are a little different in the density, but like, I like that. I mean, I'll eat the sour worms, but the ones that are the same colors as the gummy bears might as well just be fucking gummy bears to me.

I don't know about that. All right. Last one. Hey, Dakeshawn, Seraphalthy, P.E. No, it makes me rage is reflexive or compulsory boomer humor. I hate to say the word boomer usually, but it's the last legal inward and they kind of fucking earned it on this one. Yeah. I grandma passed away. I got to, I had to organize a funeral, like do speech, all this

stuff. She died 93 years old. So guests who all the attending people are fucking boomers. Yeah. And people come up to me and they every last fucking one of them, hey, how are you? You know what I'm, I'm as good as I can be. How are you? And then it fucking comes.

Every single fucking boomer has to have to respond with, well, I'm alive. It's a fucking funeral. What the fuck? And don't have them to embarrass them. Don't fucking go to 10 people told me uh... alive and then i just looked at it like uh... you know where the sorry and they think they're they just have to chuckle their own fucking jokes they don't fucking get it

can't complain well at this point i could but would do it anyway all the women going she's you know she's just she's in a better place. I don't know. I looked at that fucking coffin. Didn't look that comfortable to me anyhow.

See you next year's day. Yeah. Why is there humor like they invented it? I don't know. They're the first group that invented like a universal humor that that they all know you can go anywhere in Western civilization until the same stupid joke and they'll all get it. And they just love watching it. They go, they watch TV for nine hours a night and just hear the same jokes repeated back

like, yep, there it is. Yep, they're always again. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And then they get together and I saw on TV this show. Remember that job? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Got it. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Stole it from Mitch Hedberg. Fucking boogie. All right.

Goodbye, everyone. See ya. Thank you. Assault occur. Good night. Step, stop. Step away. If you see any, any sort of individuals who are possibly combative,

who are possibly capable of inciting violence, did you hear how she said, there's a city's a diverse place, and it's great. Right, and then it cut to a guy. When we get diverse people together, problems may occur. There's some people, there's some bad eggs. Yeah, right. Oh, okay.

Wow. What a weird spot. Yeah, all right, goodbye. Good night. There's some bad eggs. Yeah, right. Oh, okay. Wow.

What a weird spot. Yeah. All right, goodbye. Good night.