The Dick Show - Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice

Episode Date: January 17, 2017

Download the MP3 Burn school, the kiss of death, the time I ruined my dad’s new car, threesomes with Alexa, Golden Shower arguments, I know I am but what am I, an erotic story two for one, the death of Optimus Prime, 24-hour news cycles, Santa Cuck and the Season of Cucksmas, a Lucie Wilde … Continue reading "Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice" The post Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah Welcome to dick You want to take You need dick? You love dick? You got it It's the only show where everything is a contest It's the only show that comes to you From a mountain side bunker and Los Angeles Completely impervious to any kind of nuclear holocaust

I am your host, dick Masterson, with me as always is Sean the audio engineer. What's up, Dick? Hey, what's up, buddy? This, this is the only podcast where you can hear the every man, reasonable man droppings of Sean the audio engineer. If you think you're gonna get the comedy stylings

of Sean the audio engineer on any other podcast now or ever, I will bet you, and you are not, you are not correct, and I will bet you, I will bet you, if you think that is the case. I'm taking bets on that. Did you know that? Somebody was, I'm not up to the, I'm not up to date on all the goings-on

of any other shows that you may be on or might be used to be on, but somebody dropped it, somebody was running their mouth, and I was running my mouth back, and they said, well, and I said, well, you want a bet? Because they said, well, Sean's on hiatus from another show and I said, yeah, I'll bet you. I'll bet you that I'll bet you that he wants. So they said, okay, I'll take that bet.

So now there's an outstanding bet with a time line like a, and this is what I've decided to do. What are the stakes of the bet? They have to read an apology. They have to read an apology. That you write, that I'm right. And if I'm wrong, those are always good. Yeah, they have to call in and read an apology,

because that's, what's five bucks? 20 bucks, who cares? Yeah, I know. I want the pride of being right. It's the blow to the ego that hurts more than the cash. Like this guy last week on the show, I talked about how my under buggy, my cars turned into a complete piece of shit.

Yeah. And I got so outraged at the beeping, the warning signs and the beeping that was going on on my car that on the freeway I pulled over. And it was just, it was a mixture of things, the flapping, the, the splash guard falling off at the bottom of the car, the plastic splash guard, and the incessant beeping of the car that I pulled over on the freeway, ripped open the center console, pulled open the center console and ripped all the wires out.

And the dude on Facebook, Pete, uh, Pete, Pete she handed something goes, oh, look at dick, trying to pretend like he knows about cars. Sure you ripped open the center console, dude. Sure you ripped the wires out and like, wait a minute. What the, hey, here, here's pictures. I'm not saying I'm a car guy, but I'm sitting, I'm not talking about something you'd lie about. Well, it's not.

Cause I've seen you destroy things. What, what do you, I mean, is that so out of character that I just start ripping into things? No, and frankly, I get it from my father. I'm not saying it's smart. It's just not out of character. Look, I fixed the fucking problem. Did you? I'm not saying. I'm not saying I'm not saying I caused five more problems in doing so, but I fixed the first problem. And inside the point in life, that is the goal. You don't, you don't set up a big elaborate plan to fix the first problem. Who does this? Inside the point. In life, that is the goal. You don't, you don't set up a big elaborate plan to fix all the problems.

You just fix the one that's in front of you and you fix as many problems as you can until you're dead. And then you say to the guys that come after you, look, we try to fix this shit, but I mean, you're gonna see, you can't. You just, you have no fucking idea how, it's every fix is gonna create more problems. That's, there's no, there's no perfect fix ever.

You just, you just fix the ones that you can that are right in front of you, and then you say, I'm sorry, man. Like, you just, it's a sorry that you're pushing forward to the guy that comes after you, and you know it's gonna happen, but you gotta fix the problem that's in front of you. That's life.

And I know I get it from my dad, just the visual of a man in a car, tearing things out of the car to fix a problem. I remember when I was, this one of my earliest memories. When I was a little dick. Yeah, when I was a little dick. And God, this story.

Medcux is mad. Is he, why? Cause I was doing the voice. Oh, he should be thrilled. It's not how he works. He's always in character. This is like, this is one of the most, this is one of the most clear memories I have

when I was a kid and maybe one of the first memories I have when I was a kid. I remember being in my dad's brand new car sitting in the, I think he had a brand new BMW. Isn't it cool when you're a little kid and your dad buys a new car? Oh yeah, it's cool. It's a fucking, and it's- You just wanna go for a ride. I's the cool. It's a fucking, and you just want to go for a ride.

I mean, my dad brought home a Corvette one time in the eight. Oh, shit. Oh, it was so fucking cool. I thought it was the coolest car, fastest car in the world. What color Corvette? White. A white Corvette. White Corvette.

Oh, man. Well, they always say that like your first, your first sports car is red or yellow and your second one is the white one. Huh. I've heard that. Why? Well, because it's like the first one you just came into money and you want to have like a that that stereotypical cool sport. I was at the red sports.

I was at the people thing Ferrari. Yeah, I was on a set of this like this MTV rip off version of Top Gear and one of the guy, the guy who was in charge, like the babysitter of the car, they had on set that day was telling me this because there was an orange spiker, this car, the spiker that they were testing on the track. What's a, is it like a concept car? What's a spiker? Uh, yeah, it's like some super car, you know, like the Adam or one, I don't know, I

think the spiker was the company. It's like all they did was make this car. Yeah, it's like, it's like ultimate luxury car. You know, like the Adam or one, I don't know, I think Spiker was the company. It's like all they did was make this car. Yeah, it's like, it's like ultimate luxury car. Like not even a manufacturer, I think technically, because there's no production on this. I don't know. I don't, I don't, look, I don't want to come off. Like I'm pretending to know about fucking cars again. Okay. Because then I'll get the shit kicked out of me on my Facebook. And I spend all day saying, well, I don't pretend to know about cars. I just know what ripping open is and tearing things out of the, believe me.

And what it is. Somebody knows about tearing shit out of shit. It's me. That I know. I know every step of it, rip it open, tear it out. I could give you a Ted talk on rip it open, tear it out. Anyway, that was it. I think it was it.

It was some MTV thing. And this dude who brought the spiker there, he was from the company or from the factory, he was sitting on the bleachers. And I was there. I was dating this girl that was running production there. And she was like, yeah, you like cars, come out and see it. I was like, yeah, sure.

Sounds like fun. Why not? So this guy had just taken me and the rain. Yeah. Uh. Uh. Yeah. Uh, that a low blow. No, because that, I think that wreck kind of caused all my car problems. Like, you know, when you wreck a car and even when they fix it, it's just never the

same. Yeah. Like a chick that has kids. I don't, you're just knocking around in there and things come and loose. Like an old Jalapag. Oh, I feel bad about that. All right. So you don't, I think we're at Willow Creek, this racetrack and up near Mojave and Willow

Springs. Willow Springs. Thank you. Thank you. And I try to get on in a conversation with this guy because he had just taken this biker to top gear. And I wanted to get some top gear behind the scenes guys, right, from this guy?

Oh, is it like? Well, and he said it was disappointing. The real top gear? Yeah, the real top gear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a while ago. And he said it was disappointing. It was very, you know, clinical, because they got a real machine over there.

And he said actually the MTV thing that we were at, that we were watching was a lot more fun. I was like, okay, that's disappointing. But then I asked, why the fuck would you guys make this spiker TV thing that we were watching was a lot more fun. Okay, that's disappointing, but. Then I asked who the, why the fuck would you guys make this spiker an orange? Like why not red? Was it an orange that really popped though?

Well, but still. Some of those looks cool. I was like, because I was thinking, don't you want like a red one? Well, because they know that it's like that can only be. If you see a car that's an unfamiliar body shape and it's orange, like you're, it's, that's the only thing it could be. Well, he said, the first one people, he said, this is the second car. The first one everybody buys is the red of the yellow. The second one they buy is the white, the orange, like the goofy colors.

Like that's just what their market research showed. So your dad went straight for the second one. That's why I bring all this stuff. Like I know your dad, I know he was in marketing. I don't know if you mind that I say that. But he's a film marketing. Film marketing. So I'm sure it occurred to him that it would look common,

more common if he got the red someone's dead he went straight for the white. You know what I'm talking about? I don't know. I don't think he thinks on that level. I think he just liked it. I don't know. You know what?

Because he always like sports cars. Yeah. He had a Corvette before. Yeah. Is that the same Corvette that he took out that people's yard? No, no, no, that was it. That was it. That was it.

Yeah. Anyway, Scott on Facebook calls me out for ripping it in the console. Oh, it's like, dude, I know what I hear. I'll show you exactly what I did. I pulled over to the side of the road and I googled how the fuck do I stop my, this tire thing from beeping and it linked me to a forum pose with pictures

and how to rip out the fucking console and then rip out the fucking wires. And the reason I was saying it reminded me of my dad is because I have this very clear memory of when I was five years old, my dad got the new car, brand new BMW. Yeah. He's a stock broker.

And he's like, that was what she did then in the 80s. You just got like, you got new shit. You got a pasta maker. Yeah, he was like the ultimate 80s guy in a pink tie. That's interesting because we were young. Yeah. Even I was young in the 80s. And I've heard stories for people in marketing

and it still was fucking mad men. It was mad men with, except it was Coke on every exec's desk. My dad was like really straight in the 80s, you know? Like he didn't party, he didn't do my dad is too. So he was too. He said there'd be like pages over the intercom, like so I need to see you in my office and there'd just be fucking rails of Coke on the desk.

Yeah. I gotta ask him about that because it's like, well, you think it's like wolf of on Wall Street type of atmosphere. And he's got this. He's got a stockbroker in the 80s. Anyway. Yeah, he was, yeah, that's right.

He got this brand new fucking BMW. I guess now, if I was a kid now in my dad's car and he was in a similar position, he'd have like a brand new fiat. He'd have a brand new, like what, look up, he'd have a Tesla, right? That's what it would be, but in the day, it was brand new BMW.

Yeah. So he takes the family out for shaved ice because my dad loves the shaved ice. You can't, if there's, if it's a Wiley Coyote road runner situation, you put out a little cup of shaved ice, he'll be zipping by, hit the brakes, zoom right back and come pecking at that Hawaiian shaved ice. The man loves his shaved ice. No idea why. Weird flavors, pomegranate, comquat, mango, normal flavors.

Was that something that they make a lot of where he was raised? South America? Yeah. Cause like, didn't he? Cause it was always hot. Cause he's Mexican, but he grew up in Venezuela. I want to say. Yeah, his dad, his dad built dams.

Yeah. So they lived all around. He's an interesting guy like from Central and South America to an 80 stock broker Yeah, um turquoise smuggler as well. Let's how he meant. He was a turquoise smuggler. Oh yeah, I'll get into that another time I'll get into that another time. There's apparently there's a dick show bingo game and I'll tell that story another time Okay, one of the spaces. Anyway, I've must have been five or six years old, sitting in the back of the BMW,

and I remember everything about it. Like I remember having my favorite toy with me on the seat, like a brand new Optimus Prime, the metal one too, man. Oh no, I had that. That'll Optimus Prime just sitting there, sitting in my dad's car, cloth seats, like that nice new car smell. I remember.

I don't remember. No, shut up. Don't look. How was a stock broker thing going? Sean, the only people who see that it's leather or not are his wife and his kids. I know. And leather is hot. But it smells so good. He actually hates leather seats. I bought a leather couch. I would never stop making money because it sticks to you. That's a, yeah, it's

never stop making for me for doing that. It's not cloth seats. I'm sitting. I remember the fuel of the closets. I remember looking out from the back. I remember the inner, I remember that we were about to pull out of this little strip mall shopping center in Scottsdale, Arizona. I remember it was sweltering hot. I remember the dash work. That was smart not to get leather then. If you live there.

Yeah. Because it's going to be fucking 130 degrees on that thing when you get in. He's smart man. He's got always got the angles covered except for this time. He's pulling out. I remember I'm fiddling around with my Optimus Prime action figure toy. And he pulls up, he pulls up to make a left on this road to go home from the shaved ice place. And I swear, I swear, he stopped too fast. I fucking swear that he was cruising up and getting a little

goosey on the speed approaching this, making a left across traffic. And I swear to God that he stopped too fast because before I could even realize it was happening, my fucking enormous and enormous blueberry shaved ice is tipping out of my hand in slow motion. My one hand was on my Optimus Prime, holding my little white five year old knuckles are going wide and I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, like no, I see in a Christmas story. And I see the, I see the shaved ice just flying out of my hand, splattering on the back of the car seat on the console, getting all over the brand new car. And I just pulled my hands up and I'm like,

no, please God, no. And he stops the car and in a restrained fury that only a dad can have. Because what I've realized from seeing dads, talking to dads and seeing adult dads at our age is that they know everything they have will be ruined. First of all, my dad didn't know that. Oh, well, yeah, you learn it.

You learn it the fucking hard way. I still don't think he learned it. He's still don't think he learned it. No. I, well, I mean, you get the wife. First of all, you get the wife and everything becomes hers. I mean, you get, the girlfriend of the wife moves in. I thought the stereotype was what hers is hers,

what's yours is ours, and what she doesn't want is yours. Yeah, and it's like slowly, like, and shlust out of the house. Like everything, you know, it's like a wife creep, girlfriend creep, whatever you wanna call it, they just take over, piece, they start with the bed. First, the bed's gotta be up to their standard. And of course you want to make her happy and bed because that's how she goes to sleep. And then it's, and it's your party

time. Like bitch, just knock out, have some, I made you some tea. It's, it's 90% night quill. And 10% lemon. But there's no actual tea and there's no actual tea and I quote like well relax you love it. That's what Cosby was doing by the way. He just got sick of the hammering. He's like, I got a he didn't do it. I wasn't a sexual thing. He's just like, no. That's what he should have said in court. You're honor. I mean, come on. Give me, give me, these bitches are like, remember that comedy, especially, you remember the Cosby show and I'm like, and then they're running into fucking sleep. Just relax for a second. And they always want to try out their jokes.

Oh, I can't hear it. They're on it. That's what he should, he should have done a stand-up comedy in court. And it just laughed them right and it just, I get out of here this fucking guy. I'm not gonna be a flexible, never-rate, anybody. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, right? All right. So that's the first step.

But then when the kids come in, by that time, Do anybody do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do and everything, the cramming grilled cheese sandwiches in the VCR, if you had a VCR, or they're trying, you know, I know a dropping television remote in the toilet, you know what? I know somebody's kid who spoon fed the VCR with like oatmeal or maltomeal or crema wheat or some shit. Yeah, it's hilarious. She was like two or something, but I mean, we'd all do it. We just can't do it because we got to pay for this stuff.

But if we could get away with it, we'd all do it. It's funny. So my dad, I think, knew this. Like, he must have been close to our age at the time this happened. So I can imagine it happening to me and I can imagine the fury and the anger. Like, I can imagine the younger man's fury

meeting with the older man's temperament and wisdom. And that's the first thing. It's always the first thing that kills you when you get something new. Yeah. As soon as it gets that first scratch on it. That's the first one that hurts. And then the rest you're like, I don't care, man. Yeah, well, yeah. You're too appointment. I'm ruined. Yeah. So if you get one or two, you might fix it though. And then finally, you're like, I just can't have nice things because nobody gives a fuck. No, no. No, and I'm always afraid of the first one too.

And then after that, I kind of give a shit, man. So it's that young dad, that's what makes the young dad so interesting, because they still have the passion and the, there's still things left for them to learn and discover about life. They have that younger man's lust for life at like the in the mid 30s and late 30s, but they've got that, that they've got the hot front coming in. A youth, right? But then they've got that cold front of wisdom and maturity coming in from the east. And you get, that's when they hit in moments like this

and they collide and they make a big fucking typhoon of anger, you know, within them. That's the battle that's raging. It's a conflict. In a 30s man, it's a conflict, it's a hurricane. Batten down the shit hatches. We're all in for a world. We're all in for a hurricane of shit, right? So my dad jumps out of the car at the at the intersection in a strip mall because it's a fucking BMW. Yeah, you can get that shit. Well, you got to get that shit out of the seats immediately.

And my mom goes, oh no. Like I see, I remember her turning around going, what did you do? And I'm like, I mean, in 140 characters, I fucking spilled my shave ice. That's what I did. But I don't think it was my fault, but you know, that totally irrelevant. No, no, let me tell you about inertia, Dad.

So Padre throws open his door, does not close it. Bing, Bing, Bing. So I was going, I'm like, I remember the fucking bings, bings, bings. Yeah, it's like to, it's tolling the bell for, yeah, like I, here it comes. Storms around the car, and I'm thinking, okay, just, he's at my door before I think it's physically possible.

Like he's like the flash, he's like, like he has got like a portal gun, like trait like Overwatch. He's out of the door and just instantly, instantly he's opening my door like a horror movie before on the complete, Cady Corner, the diametrically opposed door on the car. Out that door.

You're on the passenger side. I was in the middle. So it was maximum devastation. Like if choose the middle. Because I could see. I was in the middle. So it was maximum devastation. Like if you choose the middle. Because I could see. I could see the road. I hate sitting there. And like, this is, I'm telling you,

this was so traumatic that I remember every fucking detail of this spill. I'm sitting and it's like, and I think it's actually had, because now that I think about it, every time I'm in a car with anybody and they have a drink, I always put my hand on the drink for, and in any change of inertia.

Oh, yeah. Always. And I notice they don't. And I'm like, I said that, that you don't, we don't want to get into it. But on borrowed time, because I was his age when this happened, or he was my age when this happened. And I remember the magnitude of the fury it caused. So he runs around, throws open the door,

and I tried to give some kind of meek protest station. I'm like, well, it's right there, like I remember trying to help him going, like, well, it's right there, and it's fucking everywhere. And he starts in, you're helping him get it faster. You're helping him like, take it up faster. You know, helping. It's there's some right there. And it's like, get it faster. You're helping him like take it up faster. You know, helping. It's there's some right there.

It's like, but it exploded. It's the least you can do. It exploded. It fell completely out of my hand, hit the middle of the car and exploded everywhere. And he reaches in with this hand, my dad's got big mits, much bigger than me. Long, long, long hands like in orangutan, right?

And he reaches, reaches in and starts clawing at the shave eyes and just shoveling it with the, with the ferocity of like a dog digging for a bone in the back of his BMW throwing it, throwing it out behind him. And I remember him in one of these paw, one of these paw swipes grabbing my Optimus Prime and launching it like a fucking rocket behind like a like a like a tribute shame launching it behind him. And me thinking about like me being really sorry. And then at that moment, I could see my metal Optimus Prime brand new brand new

Never been scratched never been played with at all brand new skipping across the shitty Ugly ass tar written asphalt of the strip mall thinking no and I'm going No right at that moment you felt his pain. Yeah, and I thought, you motherfucker, I think you did that on purpose. Like, I think you went straight for the fucking, but of course, the toy is soaked at like, first of all, obviously was not on purpose. And secondly, the toy is covered in goo.

That's gonna be a stick in the... Gotta be at it. And probably the toy cost like $8. And I've just caused, oh, you'd be shocked at the, how cheap they were. Oh yeah, I went through my mom found a box, my old shit and some of it still had the price tag on it. And I was like, I remember fucking fighting you

for like 30 minutes to get this toy and it was $2.99, are you fucking kidding me? And she's like, well, you know, you gotta, you gotta, it's no- Can't give you everything. Get Bill's character. I was like, what the? You'll turn into a psychopath. You get the little, you get the grandson,

three toys that we've got one day. Post the podcast one day. Yeah, I think all grandparents do that. My grandma would be, you know, my mom and dad would be like, no, no, you don't need that, you're not getting it. Yeah. And then we go to grandma's house. And she'd say, hey, let's go to the place.

Wherever you are. We're all right. Loathing up. She's like, okay, get something. And we'd be agonizing like over one thing. It's like, oh, can't decide, can't decide. She's like, get him both, fuck it. Why can't you get him both?

You only live once. Well, and we figured we'd get in trouble if we did that. And she's like, yeah. Well, I'm the fucking grandma. And she probably said fucking too. Yeah. The grandma, your grandma, that's not bad. Yeah, the grandma you knew. She definitely said fucking.

She definitely said fucking. She's great. I didn't know you could get two toys. Tom, it's not, I didn't know that was possible. No, I was told that Toys Or I said a one toy for a child policy like China. Yeah. That's what I was told. Right.

Anyway, because if you eat more than one, you're dead. That was, he didn't, my mom was frantically trying to get those little, you know, those little square napkins that soak up absolutely nothing. Yeah. Yeah, she's, I mean, go under like drinks at a bar. Yeah, and they don't even work then. It's like, it's like those toilet paper napkins that are like a micron thick. Mm-hmm.

My mom's handing those back by the handful. And I'm sitting there back. I'm just, I'm devastated because Optimus Prime has been destroyed. Yeah. I'm thinking, Mom, that's not helping. What are you doing, that's not helping. So all the stuff's been thrown out. My dad gets back in the car and he grabs,

he goes over and grabs my toys that he's thrown out into the, you know, I'm a precious toys that he's thrown out. And I'm probably, know, I'm precious toys that he's thrown out. And I'm probably, I don't remember, I'm probably crying. I don't know maybe not. I'm probably too shocked to cry. And I remember driving home, having my shit,

I didn't get, I didn't get any shave ice. I remember that much. And for the rest of the, for the rest of the time he owned that car, there was a giant blueberry shave ice stain in the back. So you didn't really try to get it out at home? Oh, yeah, but you, I mean, we didn't have things like oxyclean back then. Yeah.

It was your cell bogeys WD40. That's all you couldn't get stains. You couldn't get stains out in the 80s. That was before, that was before DD7 came out. Yeah. They could take blood. Billy, you're a heart-cher house. You got blood all over your house. You could take it out.

It was before all that. And so, if anybody says, if anybody's gonna question me, ripping things out of anything, I will tell you that I come from a long line of people who rip things out of things. If anybody has a clear memory of things getting ripped out of things, it's me.

Okay. So I forget where we even started with that story. Cars, Corvettes. Corvettes, cars, and I agree with your dad, Ed. I wrote a bunch of stuff down here. I'll tell you what makes me a rage this week. You know what? We should probably start the show. Yeah. We should get back on track.

I got to tell you about the screen junkies thing I did too. You know how Joe Star runs? Or he's a writer. He's a big contributor over at Screen Jovies, right? And he pulls me in there to do stuff for them, which is really cool of him because, uh, I thought I was black bald. Yeah. And all the comedy. Yeah. I was in mathematics, his video when I got booted from term of nerves.

I was like, oh, okay. Well, that was the most offensive thing that they had. So surely I'm booted from everything. But Joe star just, uh, he just doesn't care. Well, I don't know why, but he had me come in and do a video where I did a forest gump and pressure. He knows you're not a rape apologist. That's probably it. Yeah, that's probably it.

Everyone else kind of suspects that it might, yeah. Everyone's living in a, they got a movie going on in their head where everybody is a ridiculous caricature. I don't know. I got to tell you about that, Everybody is a ridiculous caricature. I don't know. I gotta tell you about that. But I'll tell you what makes me rage this week. It's a Trump called Buzzfeed a failing pile of garbage. What hasn't he called any?

Right. So they published this ridiculous dossier, just like a list of, that somebody made up about stuff he's done. And one of them is that Trump hires hookers to piss on him in Russia, and that this is something that Russia has on him. And you read it and you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, Putin has a track record of this stuff. I mean, sure, but this is like, this is just something that some guy typed.

It's not like, it's not in any way related to reality. Well, nobody has, it hasn't been verified. But then what is it? Then it's just something that somebody wrote. Well, like, it's not, it's not un-un-un-un-varified. It's just something that somebody wrote. Well, we'll see. We'll see.

John, what do you mean we'll see? We'll see. There may be a tape. Maybe a tape of Trump getting pissed on? Hey, why would... That's his thing, could be his thing. John, you've motherfucker, this is what they want. It's like total up. He could be his thing.

But it's just something that somebody made up. Maybe. How do you know? Because it's literally just something a guy wrote on a piece of paper and said, Hey, here you go. But you're not answering the question. How do you know it's not true? No, no, no, no, no, I don't do that game.

I don't do the, how do I know it's not? I'm like, well, okay, I answered it twice with a non-answer. No, because you cannot defend against that. What, how do you, how do you know Russia doesn't have footage of you getting pissed on by prostitutes? I don't, but show me the footage. Well, don't you think? Me and Chuck Berry.

Don't you? And are killing. Don't you think that they should have to provide the modicum of evidence to say something like this? Yes, which is why no other newspaper is its Buzzfeed. But then CNN picked it up and they're like, well, Buzzfeed's reporting this. It's like, motherfucker, they're not reporting it. They just, they got a piece of paper

that somebody wrote on a memo saying Trump gets pissed on. They're saying that that's real with no evidence. No. You can't go report that there's, now you put the idea in people's heads. Yeah, well, what the fuck are you doing? But Buzzfeed's not a news source. everybody knows that. Well, they don't. Well, they're saying their news, so Trump calls him a failing pile of garbage. Right, and this, none of that actually made me rage,

because I know I have no respect for the news. I think that, I think that the news. Well, journalism is at its lowest point, really, and probably American history. Well, no, I don't know. Unless you're counting yellow journalism and that stuff, there's always been tabloids, but I think they always been the same. But I think news, the profession of journalists has never meant less than it does now.

Like possibly, I don't know. Basically no respect for journalists, but I think the vetting is the worst. I think their entire job is to convince you that you need to watch their channel all day. Like there's, of course, simply by the version of their being so much news, it's impossible for it to be news, right? Yeah. Like how much actual, you just tell us what Trump did,

that's it. That's one news article. How do you, there's a billion dollar industry built around that one article. Sure. I don't think so. It's all why. It should be who, what, when, where?

That's news. Not the fucking why. The why takes up 99% of the fucking news. It's not news at all. It's just entertainment television. It's just entertainment television built to sell ads. That's it. To get you tweetering up a storm about it anyway.

That part doesn't make me rage because I know it's not, I know there's nothing to be respected about news. They're all dog shit. They're all shit. Now, you can take anybody important can go directly to you on Twitter. Yeah. Every single fucking person, and if not Twitter, then some app, if not Twitter, iTunes, I could call, hey, run this thing for me. There's no need to have, there's no need for the news to bring you this information. It

can go right to me. Now, you want to do an investigation? Great. I'm all for it. But that's such a tiny percentage of the news. It's negligible. It's got nothing to do what we consider news anymore. It's just all fucking opinion and it's all a God damn joke to me. Yeah, that's what I always like when they say, now, you know, we don't want to, what's the word for, you know, not postulate. We don't want to speculate. Speculate. Yeah, they say we don't want to speculate.

And then they do it for like the next 15 or 20 minutes. We don't want to speculate, but some people say, I'm going to do it. But now I'm going to do it. What's to get pissed on in the next sentence? Like, what the, he doesn't, where did the pissing thing come from? You just made it up.

You just made, you just said you found a guy to make it up and then you said that he did this. That's just the same as you making it up. It's not any different. You fucking know that that guy, there's no evidence. Yeah, well anyway, this is what makes me race. So Trump gets up and goes, yeah, they're failing God, if that tape comes out. Sean, they're failing garlic. If that tape comes out,

Sean, there's no tape. If there's a tape that comes out. If there's a tape that comes out. Why would he want, like it's like the Richard Gear Jerbal thing. It's so weird. Like our like Sylvester Stallone has a glass box in his house where he watches women shit over him in bed.

I've heard that one. No, he fucking does it. That's creative. Exactly. Like, you got to make it so creative, you'd say like, well, why would anyone make that up? Yeah. Well, that's for the more land a share gun. To hit a late you, that's why.

Because it stuck. What happened to that, that one woman sure did go away quick, who was like, I don't know, it's probably about a month left, month and a half left in the campaign. Oh, that she said she was like a child molestation. Well, sexually assaulted. Yeah, whatever. It was like, yeah, she just, and that one never rang true because it wasn't. Yeah.

Anyway, Trump calls BuzzFeed a failing pilot garbage. And this is what makes me rage about it. BuzzFeed's response is to make a shirt that says, they like take the insult, failing pile of garbage, and they make it their brand. They make shirts that say failing pile of garbage, they make bumper stickers that say failing, they make a trash can that says BuzzFeed. It's like, it's the adult version of, instead of, I know you are, but what am I?

They're like, I know I am, but what am I? Like, it's that infuriating thing, it infuriates me more than anything else is people taking valid criticism and insults and going, yeah, I guess, oh, you think I'm stupid? I am stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm gonna eat rocks. I look at how stupid I am, I guess, oh, you think I'm stupid? I am stupid. I'm so stupid I'm gonna eat rocks. I'll look at how stupid I am. I'm so stupid. I'm gonna drink pain. I'm so stupid I don't even know my own name. It's like what the fuck are you doing? What do you mean? What do you try and

Do here? I want their needs to be there needs to be a set of rules Well, we can all agree on and And this is not crazy. What I'm saying, it needs to be a set of rules. We can all agree on except for the agree part. Well, no, we can come close because we got laws. We all agree that murder is wrong mostly, mostly in most cases. Not sometimes it's, oh, we let it slide. But few are largely there needs to be like a burn court. Okay. Like where you say, where you, where Trump's got you, you're like, oh yeah, no, no, we got

him because we got, we got a T-shirt, there needs to be a burn judge who goes, no, that's not, he got you. Okay, that's where it's stuff. Yeah, you, no, this isn't you guys, that's, that's against the burn law. You got got a got court. But then people argue over who's the judge and if that's fair and if it, you know, that's fine. We do that.

We got procedures for that. That's true. And you can appeal it to a pellet burn court. Where someone else may, but there needs to be some kind of, because I'm so this, it's, and everybody does this. Everybody, like the nasty woman thing, the cuck thing, like Tim, both Tim Heidecker and Maddox, got called a cuck so much that instead of saying like, oh boy, I need to, I need to kind of think about why

people are calling me a, I need to think about why people are calling me a cuck and how I might be embarrassing myself and maybe I'll change my behavior a little bit and understand the deeper nuances of the things I'm saying that might be so upsetting to, no, they just go, yeah, I'm a double cook. Actually, I don't even, I'm such a cook.

I don't even, I don't even, I like to even watch myself cheat on myself. I'll jerk off other guys. I get off to, there's nothing wrong with being a cook. Like they may, Tim Heidecker making a fucking song about I'm a cook. I'm thinking, man, you need, like, you remember in school how you had, how in English,

you would have to identify like the noun and the verb and the present participle of the sentence. There needs to be. Diagramming a sentence. Yeah, there needs to be. I don't think they teach that anymore. They shouldn't because they need to teach. This does nothing.

I don't, everybody just know we all speak all day and write all day. You don't need to teach it. Badly. Everybody, well, not gonna fucking change. Guess what, that's, that's. If I get an email related to business, I'm gonna judge you on it.

I just, I'm going to judge your intelligence based on your writing. And if you're 35 fucking years old and you write like a 14 year old, I'm going to think you're stupid. And I'm going to be right. Do you get that? I have. I imagine in the audio profession, you get, you get a real rogues gallery of people you have to interact with every day. Like just a guy who you have to deal with because he knows how to play a guitar. Well, at your real, like at least in some jobs, everybody's got a college degree.

I expect it from his secret. No, I don't know how to tell you. I lived in a dumpster for three years. No, entertainers for people who, you know, they're generally, they're not all highly educated, except the suits who worry about the money. It's the weird massacism of it makes me a rage. People hearing, people taking criticism and then owning it, owning them, as though somehow the owning it, it makes

everybody else wrong. Like, yeah, oh, yeah, I am a cuck. Yeah, that makes you guys wrong. Because I actually love being called. It doesn't make everyone else wrong. Fuck you. Now, it makes people do this. It doesn't make everyone else wrong. Fuck you. Now, it makes- If people do this, it's like a self-preservation thing, right? So like if you're the fat kid, you learn to make fun of yourself so that it, so other, oh, other people are like, whatever, but that doesn't make you not fat. That's true.

And it also is not you aggressively taking it. Like, oh yeah, I'm the fatest fucking guy in the world. I'm so fat, I can't, I'm so fat, I'm so fat, I'm gonna shit, I'm gonna break this chair when I sit on it, I'm like, okay dude, just calm down there fat, so you're gonna have a heart attack. It's, we need to have like the sentence diagramming in school, but burn diagrams, where you give a sentence,

and then you have the kids say, okay, where did Johnny point out where Johnny got burned in this sentence and then how which response is the correct is the more embarrassing response. Yeah. That's so much more useful than the now and the fuck cares what the now is in the verb. Yeah. I like that. Well, because the robots are taking over the minutia of the writing. They are. We're not gonna be writing forever, man. We're gonna be talking to Alexa. By the way, I got,

80s girl got me an Alexa for Christmas. I have to apologize. Also, I have to offer an attraction to 80s girl. I said last week that she said, who the fuck is Lucy Wilde? Like in an antagonistic way? Yeah. But it was not antagonistic.

She was very, she was deeply curious about who Lucy Wilde was. Oh, okay. I, for the sake of the story, I told her that she was having an attitude about it, but that's not like it. Yeah, that was my fault. I let my, I let my storytelling really get out of control. And I'm between last week's show and this week's show. Did you guys both discover who Lucy Wilde was?

No, no, no, okay. We added a lot of stuff going on. I want to make that a whole day. I want to, we're going to Santa Barbara after the show. I'm gonna make it a whole Lucy Wilde experience. Not a Barbara. Oh, bug. Um, okay, so I have to off that,

but she did, she got me an Alexa for Christmas. And I thought, you know, fuck me, I thought it would be stupid. Cause I've seen, I've seen the Alexa commercials online and everything that Alexa tells you it can do. He's like, Alexa, order me some paper towels. Alexa asked Tide how to get juice stains. And now that if anybody's listening to this at home, their Alexa's going nuts.

Alexa ordered a diamond ring, right? Alexa, play hardcore gangster rap, right? Because it does this. It does this. Like there's, there was a news article. No, somebody's girlfriend thinks they're going to get married. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Alexa said the home temperature to 62 degrees. Yeah. And I just shut their heat off, right? I'd like it. But all the examples they give are dumb on their sales pitch. And I thought it would be, it didn't excite, but man, I use that thing every fucking day.

It's cool. It's only 50 bucks. And I use it every fucking day. You just like play, you just like, hey, play some fucking music. Well, time is it. Set a timer for this. I had no idea how cool it would be, right?

Anyway, that thing's gonna take as that thing, it's also weird because you also have like a third party to all of your sexual exploits with Alexa in the house. Because I know that that thing is listening all the time to run the formula on when is it that I have said Alexa? Like, I know it's listening and uploading it to the cloud. Sure. And the cloud saying was Alexa said right here or is Dick doing dirty stuff again?

And it's got like, I don't know. It's given me this weird, this weird feeling that like everybody's, every time we bang, I'm thinking like, is there, is some dude listening to this now? Is like like GMC on-star. Yeah. People realize that that thing could be, that might could be open at any time. It is.

At any time. And anybody can listen to it who has the clearance. Yeah. And like in five years, is somebody gonna buy a decommissioned server from Amazon and then just have like two hours of people being pissed on. Yeah, people of the Trump being pissed.

Yeah. Yeah. Sean, he didn't get pissed on. Why would he? Why? Why? Fettish. Fettish.

Where does that fit? What makes you, what makes you ready to believe it? That's what I want to know. Because MI6 was involved. Tosh. Shut up with this MI6 shit. Multiple intelligence agencies. Okay, all I know is they briefed him on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, all right, all right. They all briefed him on it. Look, all the talking and writing shit. And he isn't tweeting about it, really. No, he's not, the guy isn't tweeting about that he didn't get the best time. He tweets about everything. He's not gonna say I didn't get pissed on.

I'm shocked that he hasn't. No, because he doesn't. That's bad. You can't defend yourself. You look guilty. You got to turn it around. Like he never he never defended himself for being Hitler, but now he started accusing the CIA of being Hitler.

Yes. That's you've always got to got to reacuse. Yeah. Never defend. Never defend yourself. Okay. Oh my god I'm I've gotten so far off track here. We've been really tearing through it. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell one more thing about All I'm saying is we need to have more education in the burn sciences. Yeah We need to have a curriculum set up so people know when they got got

curriculum set up. So people know when they got got. So you can teach children that I know I am, but what am I? Is not acceptable. It's much more. It's much worse than using you're in your incorrectly. Frankly, just use you are. It saves time. And everybody can tell from the context of the sentence what you're saying. Why do we have read and read? Why are they spelled exactly the same context? Well, you are. You're just used you are. Just use you are. Laughter and daughter, it's one letter different. Just use you are.

Okay. Way better, more efficient. Teach everybody you are, takes two seconds. That's the only word we got. Well, the kid raised hand. What about you, why you are, why you're a posh, that was old talk. We don't do that anymore, because it was stupid.

Wasted a bunch of time, turned a lot of people into assholes. Yeah. Cause they jumped down your throat. Because they jumped on your throat about it. But then they would start a sentence with hopefully, which is just stupid. You're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to do that. You're not supposed to start with and or because either. That's, that's better than hopefully to me. Really? Yeah, because hopefully means I am hopeful. Yeah, like done so in a hopeful, not supposed to be done, but we use it like that. Yeah, we do.

So get the fuck over it, you are. Just use you are. There's too many people in the assholes. So much, it would be so much, so much better for America if we could teach kids the correct hierarchy of burning. When you got burned, who got burned? Because if you don't know who got burned, it could escalate to violence.

Yeah, I didn't get burned, you got burned. Oh yeah, I'll show you, you motherfuckers. It's like, everybody, everybody, what do we learn today? Yeah, that was definitely, that was a burn. Because some people think that lowest level burns, if it gets a big reaction, it's like, oh, he got him so fucking good. And you're like, that wasn't clever at all.

Wasn't clever at all. You just, you said it in a stupid voice. Yeah, not the same, not the same. Somebody, there needs to be a burn scientist division. I just, anyway, all right, that's what makes me a rage this week. So I'm at screen junkies, hosting the roast of Beauty and the Beast.

And I thought it'd be something that everybody could see and like make fun of me for. The roast of Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, they do these roasting on screen junkies where they roast like characters. Mm-hmm. They roast a Batman and Darth Vader. And I don't know, maybe there's, well, who reacts?

Well, everybody comes as a character. Everybody comes in character. So it's like for people who are, it's like a burn contest, you know? I don't know, they write all the material, but it's fun. It was fun and it's got a big following on screen, junkies. I don't know how many listeners they show.

So you make fun of them like based on their their character like people will make like dead parents cracks and shit like that. Yeah. And this one for Beauty and the Beast Walt Disney was there. She was telling a lot of like racist jokes. Pretty funny. Yeah. Um, and Joe Starr is one of the right, the big writers for that show. Yeah. So they brought me in to do Gaston. Oh, that's good. Cause for some reason, they thought I would play a overly confident misogynist really well. Fucking great casting. Yeah. Joe Star. You know, so it's going on. No, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. So I get there. And I'm backstage getting ready to do the wardrobe part. So I got the little girls in there to dress you up. That's

their thing. They need three people to dress everybody up in these stupid costumes. Wardrobe and... By the way, piss dribbling strike again when I go to get, I go to the wardrobe thing. It's kind of cold backstage. Take a piss, walk into wardrobe and I go, all right, pop your shirt, pop the pants off. We're going to put this tonic and this thing on you. And I'm thinking, fuck, I just pissed. There is a, and it's like 50 degrees in here. There is a 100% chance of pistriblets. Yeah. There is the, the humidity level in my underpants in my urethra is 100%. There is a 100% chance of fucking pistriblets in here tonight, ladies. So fucking. This

morning, ladies. How do u rethra just got me? It's that's, but that's the reality. So I'm taking my, I'm taking my pants off and like trying to like I'm protect, I'm like a, like a, like a young, new-bile boy at a casting squad just off fresh off the, the bus from Lincoln, Nebraska, taking off my pants, like trying to contort around to like, so I can glance down

and see if there's in fact Pistor Blitz and I need to like, oh, bad. I just asked her. Yeah, okay. Okay. Let me see here. Like we've all been there. We've all been there. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just give me the, I'll take this off and kind of hold it over my shit and you hand me the thing and then I'll do the one thing over here. I'm doing these like sick yo, there should be a yoga, a yoga, a yoga branch tree, like a yoga, separate yoga track, just for disguising pistriblets. You can go to the gym and you can practice the yoga moves, except they're all designed for disguising pistriblets on your underpants.

That's pretty good. You know, like instead of the whatever, instead of the downward dog, there's like the gnarled tree branch, where you thigh is twisted up over your other thys and you can just hold the position. Downward dog, there's like the backside of the fire hydrant so you can't see anything coming out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about it. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, after the Pistory Blitz fiasco, I see a man, a comedian by the name of Hal Rudnic. Hal. That sounds familiar. It was one of the two guys in charge

of Tournament of Nerds. Oh, that's right. That I got booted from. Right. So I don't know how the booting went down. He wasn't the one who told me I was off the show. Okay. But I know both of them personally.

And I think we are, I hope we are still friends, but you know, things like this have a way of, because it's Hollywood still, you can't ever forget that. That the business is bigger than the show part, you know? It's not whether your friends are not, it's about people making money off entertainment. That's right. So you get, if we've talked about that

and it's never been any different. Never been any different. If you get, if they got to, if they got to cut you loose, they will and they should. But I hope we're still friends. It's show business. But I'm a little pissed at him still. Sure. I got a little like, I kind of worked for free for you for five years.

I think I made that show better than not. I think I was pretty good on it. And I'm a little pissed, I'm a little pissed off that I got the boot in 12 minutes because a bunch of angry cons sent you emails who probably don't see the show number one and will go on to a tweet about something else in 24 hours.

That's true. Kind of pissed I didn't get stood by, but I understand not everybody takes principled stands on things. I understand that. I don't expect it. It's fine. I'll deal with it, but I still wanted to, you know, I still wanted to talk to you. I get the feeling in my stomach of like, I don't want to go over and talk to hell because it was an ugly thing and I want to shy away from it. Yeah. But as we know, when I get that feeling, I do the thing that I don't want to do. Yes, it's just my motto in life. If you get that sick feeling that's like, don't do the thing, do the thing, because that's your fear talking. No, that's true. That's

the thing that says the reason why the pussies have evolved. In the human condition, people who have the fear over rocking the boat are the ones that survive to pass their jeans on to their kids who themselves are pussies. So all of society's full of pussies and it's that feeling that God is here. The guys who just openly go in head first into situations that may rock the boat, may be dangerous, they all fucking died. Yeah. They didn't have any kids. All those monkeys died.

We're the monkeys that shied away, that hit in the trees. So if you want to take advantage of the, like if you want to get a leg up, when you get that feeling, go for it. Yeah. Because I'm an ancestral monkey. Get just break the fucking pattern. Break, break, do, don't do what you DNA is telling you to do. That's like it.

I like that philosophy. Oh, yeah, you're nervous about something. I mean, do it. Yeah. So I walk over to you. If you're nervous about, you know, standing in front of a train, you probably should be, but short of that. So I walk over to Hal and I say,

hey, Hal, what's up? It's going on. And he's dressed like the Joker and the Suicide Squad. Cause he's doing another thing there. I said, hey, that was a bad Joker. I didn't see it. You see that movie? It was Piece of Shit.

And it seemed like a piece of shit. Piece of shit. Yeah. I guess Jared Leto's on set antics were a lot better than his acting. Oh, does he not act very well in it? It's just a stupid joke or he was like sending pig hearts to like co-stars and you know, he was very method. Oh god, I hate that.

I walk over to have it. Yeah, dude, it's like you just pretend well. Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. Mm-hmm. Don't make it a big thing. Yeah. Don't try to just because you're insecure

about your on-screen acting, like don't make everybody live this delusion that it's somehow taken, it's so powerful, it's taken over your whole fucking life. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, I walk over to Hal and I say, hey Hal, help me out here. What's the, what was the name of the guy

in the Godfather too that betrayed Michael Corleone and he walked over and he kissed the death scene and I was like, oh yeah. What, I said, what was the guy's name? What was the guy's name and he goes, Frado. And I said, that's all right, that was Frado. So I grabbed how I said, Frado, I know what you did to me. And I give him the kiss, right?

And he's like, well, what did I do? What did I do? Like, shut the fuck, I know what you did. What do you mean, what did I do? What do you mean, what did I do? You bastard, don't play, look, and I just said, look. I hope it didn't cause you too much trouble. And then he said, he said,

he said, look, it was a big disaster and a big thing. And I was like, well, you know, it's all over an ex-girlfriend. And he's like, I just, he was clearly, clearly not prepared for the conversation. Oh, no, I'm sure. But he seemed, I don't know, to gauge the guy, he seemed conflicted about it at least. Seems sheepish about it at least.

Let's all take. I mean, I'll take whatever they got to do, they got to do it. The other guy, I haven't talked to him since it happened. Were they at the same level? Were they at the same level? So both of them could make decisions. Both of them created the show. If one of them kicked the other off

and the other had just continued the show, it would be grounds for a lawsuit. Put it that way. They co-hosted the show. Like on two, if you were to co-host a podcast with someone. Anyway, let me get this gentleman on the line today. Man, this guy is, okay, this guy who's calling in, he's a real interesting cat.

You're on the line, right? Yes. Okay, great. So, null is, thanks for calling in, by the way. You run a site called Kiwi Farms. And you built, or at least you were partially responsible for building and you used to run 8chan. Oh, yeah, it's got this email. I was a developer working on new software for 8chan for about eight months and that can go well, but yeah, I gave a lot of notoriety just for that as well.

Just for 8chan. So I don't know if you're familiar. So the reason I know about Null is, there is a massive, I don't know how to describe Kiwi farms, but I guess the most accurate, maybe the most, it is a hive of the scum and villainy on the internet. It's a site of the scum and villainy on the internet. It's a site that catalogs, the only reason I know about it is because somebody sent me a link to a thread of Maddox where it catalogs all the embarrassing shit that he's done

since the breakup of biggest problem in the universe and the 8-chan rape list and the threats of legal action and disowning his book and going on Twitter and defending his network from the uses, like reporting listeners of this show to Patreon, just really embarrassing shit. And it's in a section called Lowell Cows. Am I, is that right so far? It's basically a way that people can talk about anybody they want, and they're not really restrained on what they can say. The spirit of the site is that you should be having fun, and if you're not having fun,

I say that you're using the site wrong. Usually that means that you're gossiping about somebody, you're huffing shit about somebody, but it means anybody, and that includes people who are pretty low profile, who don't want to be known, as well as people like Nanooks. So here's the thing about H. First of all, you worked on H. Ann. Let me just get this out of the way. Is it possible at all if somebody were to create a board on H. Ann in your name and create a thread about it, is it possible in any way to get the content of that, to moderate the content of that thread or to get it removed in any possible fucking way?

On A-chan or the Kiwi Farms, no, and there have been many attempts to remove content. One guy in particular is this British guy and he's been stalking pretty much of me my entire family for about a year. I think it's going on a one-year anniversary as a February and his thread still up and his wiki entry is still up and I'm not taking it down. Who is who's that guy? I don't want to give him a chance. You don't want to give them a sign of it. Okay, the reason I ask is when you agreed to call in and you posted about it on Kiwi Farms, I immediately got an email from a guy who said that whatever I do, he's pleading with me not to give you a platform to talk at all.

And he sent me some weird. He sent me this link. He said, you're a bad guy. You're a stalker. You're a harasser. You've been harassing him and that you're a pedophile. And he said, okay, if he's calling me that, it's probably a guy called Matthew Hopkins or Samuel.

That was him. That's him. And I got the email and I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You're saying this guy is harassing people, but you just sent me a bunch of leaks, links calling him a pedophile with not like, wait, aren't you, isn't this the same thing that you're saying he's doing to you? He's a pitiful hypocrite. His main thing is pedophiles.

I don't know why, but he's really, really obsessed with pedophiles in particular. And I think it's just because it's like, it's an easy shot if you want something that you want. You say, I'm gonna call you a pedophile forever unless you do what I want. All right, so what Kiwi Farms is,

I'm gonna link to the Maddox Thrigs, because I think it's funny. People are just cataloging everything. What are these, first of all, it's also terrifying because once you make it on this list, you're an embarrassment, I would say. How the hell do you get on the list? What does your site do?

And how do you justify it to the world? Because it's kind of, the idea of it is kind of horrifying to me. Like putting up people's, putting up pictures they put online, like basically researching everything they do online and putting it up. I mean, it's the idea of it is horrifying, but there's no way to stop it.

Like you can't get, as you said, you can't get yourself off of it. How do you stop, how do you keep yourself from getting on it in the fucking first place? We do remove content in a specific situation and it usually involves the person being a minor or the person not being funny. And I could roll completely up to my discretion. I've removed threads probably about 10 times at about 1500. And it's just, I don't have to justify it. I don't know an explanation anybody. It's not against the law. So what are your, what are some of your highlights

on that thing? So the big one that I really want to talk about was, because I think this reaches across the aisle, you know, you don't want to be too crass, but you don't want to be like a virtue signaler. And I think the story of trans life line is the most interesting in the entire art. Because-

And I'm gonna tell the people who are in reverse. I'll be honest with you. I think a lot of people get away with a lot of shit by hiding what they do. And I think that's bad. I mean, we all, like in the past couple of years, things like WikiLeaks have kind of changed the way

that we look at transparency. You know, like all that Podesta email shit, it's like, well, why shouldn't I see that? This is shit that you're doing behind this. Like this is who you really are. I don't know if, oh, you're privacy got invaded. Yeah, but this is who you, this is who you fucking are. When you enter the public domain

and start fucking with other people, don't shouldn't we be, shouldn't we know what you're doing? So we can like, go ahead. And I think in like, in our generation, you're going to come to a point where every member of Congress, every member of the Senate has stuff on them online. You're going to have needs of every person representing you and the government. And it's like, that's just how the world is gonna be. And you gotta get over it,

because the alternative is to crack down on it and censor it. And if you do that, then real crimes can be covered up. And Trans Lifeline is an example of a scam. It's a scam charity that takes advantage of the transgender community. And recently we had a user who I think is named as Lord Cat. I think he's a member of that guy with glasses or he was at some

point. But he did over a hundred days, he called once every day to this suicide prevention hotline for transgender people, by transgender people. And he got a call or a pick up rate by operators of less than 7%. So almost every single call that he called into this suicide prevention hotline turned normal business hours just fell through. So you're saying that trans lifeline is saying that they are a suicide, they're selling themselves

is that to get donations and that they're not providing the service. Yes, and it's exclusively targeted towards trans people, but they can't call themselves a suicide prevention hotline because aside from, you know, they're pick-up rate, they failed to meet the national suicide prevention standard for being a prevention hotline. And that's because they do not call the police ever without permission So if you were to call them and say I have a gun to my head right now I'm about to kill myself. They would say can I please call the police and they would say no Potentially and then kill themselves. Oh

That doesn't see I'm that doesn't seem to be like a good lifeline to me No, and they don't, they mentioned this on their site, but they don't really mention the rationale behind it. And part of what we did prior to this analysis is we got into their operator, their call line. I had gained access to an account. And I had access to their training information. And like WikiLeaks leaks I went through it.

Lots of people went through it, I published it. It was not public before. They give one PowerPoint slide of training. It lasts about three hours, they say. And then you're on the line with suicidal people. So what what happens in that in that case? Because like that's that sounds that sounds like a pretty clear cut example of doing good. Like, stop being tired. Because that's the thing. People say all the site does well because it reveals,

but I would consider it to be a crime. But because the site is so aggressive and targeting people that you would say are innocent, it's hard to push that information out. What do you mean? Tell me what you mean, target people listening that are interested in what I have to say about this. I have a link if you would like to give that out, like I'm pasted, but it's easy to remember.

It's just link.qbfarms.net slash TLL. If you go to that, it'll take you to a Google Docs, not to the QB Farms, that kind of outlines the methodology of the call and how they miss. And there's more on TL itself. It's the same link, link that QB Farms.net slash TLL and then dump, the word dump.

And that's all the information we have. So they're definitely a scam and they're definitely ripping off trans people. They make, I think, $200,000 per quarter, but they are completely volunteer based and they're called lines and they cost a few thousand dollars per year to host. So all that money goes to them. And when I made a Twitter bot at some point, and I was pulling the information from their operator dashboard and posting it on Twitter saying they haven't taken a call

in 15 hours at one point, because it's only ran for four days before they figured out what operator I had and shut it down. So there's an active effort on their part to quilch and the information that we throw out there regarding how they don't pick up calls. And I knew for a fact that they won't answer in calls

because their training material says, if you pick up a call no matter What the content of the call is you have to leave a comment on the dashboard saying the call number which is an incremental ID and what happened So I could take the gaps between these call numbers and see how many won't be in picked up because it would still increment Even if it didn't hit an operator and on one day in particular within 24 hours They had answered two calls and missed about 80. So, oh my God, 80 calls, 80, they picked up two calls and just ignored 80. And then after I published this on Twitter

and said they're missing almost all of their calls, they hired somebody to figure out what my account was and deleted it. And they did this twice because before we were doing this, I was just probing information off their public API. They had a thing that said we have two operators on duty. If you want to call now, somebody should be available, take your call.

But oftentimes that would drop to zero. And we recorded this and I did the same thing with the Twitter bot and I was saying, you know, in the last 15 minutes, there were no people taking calls. And they removed this public API, they just deleted it. Wow. Well, okay, that's clearly good. I think we could all say that right, Sean.

That's clearly a service. What they're doing. Now what's the, I know that it's not all, I know that it's not all a bunch of do-gooters on that forum, because as I've, after I found the Maddox thread on there, and it's very funny, it's all shit that we've talked about on this show, I clicked back to see what the other lol cows, as you guys call them, which is, which is a, it is a, it is, it is an, it's an animal, a metaphorical animal that you milk for laughs because they are, they are incapable due to their own lack of self awareness and hubris, they're incapable

of not shooting themselves in the foot. Is that right? And you've got a whole forum of these people just looking at it. It looks from a guy who's new to this site. I'm thinking, oh my god, there's cut of, there is definitely, there's going to be some people who get caught up in these, like when you're, when you're, when you got a when you got an army, you're going to get some innocent people every once in a while. You know what I mean? So eventually a drone strike is going to hit a red cross. So what do you got going on in that forum? Like who do you talk? Who gets put onto your microscope? Why? And how?

He's just submitted. So it's whatever people want to talk about is what gets talked about. And there's a lot of disagreement everywhere the line should be drawn, who's worth talking about, who's not. In general, if somebody submits a thread and it's complete, our wits would just delete it, I mentioned before, I've deleted a couple threads about minors.

The first time I ever deleted a thread, we had somebody in the Tumblr specific board who was a 17-year-old genderqueer with all this weird shit on his face, piercings, and gauges and stuff. And his mom emailed me and said, he was a stupid kid, we got him to therapy. I'm a single mom and this is really straining out my family.

Can you please take down this thread? And I was like, okay, I guess, and very fucking Christmas. Yeah, I've got a couple of those. People would send, people would come on the Men and Bother Women's site and post about, just post the worst stuff they could say, like calling me a...

Yeah, and that kind of personal army stuff just isn't funny, you know? If you're mad at somebody, you're not having fun, you're not using the website correctly. Okay, so what are your, I mean, I'm're mad at somebody, you're not having fun, you're not using the website correctly. Okay, so what are your, I mean, I'm sure I'm getting, I'm sure there's people who feel oppositely of this, like people getting docks and being real, and being real fucking pissed off about it.

Like where do you, where do you guys, how do you gauge it? Engage what? How do you gauge what should be on there and what shouldn't be on there? Like where's the line for you guys, how do you gauge it? Gage what? How do you gauge what should be on there and what shouldn't be on there? Like, where's the line for you guys? If it's funny, if it's legal, that's all we care about. So has this had any consequences for you? I imagine so.

Yeah, actually let me tell the story because this is the funny part about trans life. Let me tell the story of how we found out about them. So I think you'll like this. Originally, we had a thread on this guy called Phil, and Phil is not only transgender, he'll in name only, he doesn't do anything to look like a woman, he just claims that he is. He also claims that he's Latino, but he is not, he's Italian, so he says, we're fucking bumbling, I, that is really embedded in the trans community,

and to get help in removing the content that we had on him, he contacted Trans Lifeline and Greta and Nena who run it and asked can you do something. Well, their brilliant strategy to take down the Kiwi farms was to collectively pull together about five people and send into complaints to Cloudflare, which is a reverse proxy and speed-off protection layer, and you got to take down this website. Well, Cloudflare says on their form that whatever you send them, they send to me. And so they send in their names, their email addresses, their addresses, their phone numbers, and their complaints, all the Cloudflare, and that got sent directly to me. So as per protocol, I just reposted them verbatim

and the last board on the forum, which is take this off the goddamn internet. And that's our complaint forum. And their reaction to this was to take it up a notch. They use their trans-life line money to fly from California to Florida, and they knock on my door. No shit.

No shit. What did they do? Well, it's Funny because I'm with them with family and we had just gotten home from dinner So they've staked out the house and by the time I got there I had to go to the bathroom So I went to the bathroom and as soon as I sit down the fucking door knocks I'm thinking that must be the FBI again We got to have that shitter gun. We've talked about it Exactly. You got to have a shotgun in gun. We've talked about it exactly. We've got to have a shotgun in the other room. I'm completely defenseless right now.

So I hurry up, I wash my hands, and by the time I'm washing my hands, the door slams. And I say, who was that? And she said, it was the ugliest bull that I've ever seen. And she says that you run a cyberbullying forum. She wants you to know that you should take it down. I'm like, okay. And I didn't know who it was until people started tagging me and the threads saying these people are cleaning they went to your house and you had in your room, I might put the fuck.

Oh yeah, because you were just taking a shit. Yeah, and you know, I'm not afraid of people. If you want to come and talk about the forum in real life, whatever, send me an email and we can go out to dinner or something and have dinner for it. I'm not gonna take it down, probably, but I'm not gonna be rude to people. So instead of just doing that and having a conversation, she decided to show out that random and intimidating. And it's important to note that, you know,

even though Gritigasava is a transgender person, she is former military and is probably over six weeks tall. So I know what they were doing. They're going to show up and try to scare me. But I mean, it's just stupid. Like, what do you expect to happen? I'm definitely not going to take down the fright because you showed up. And, you know, they can pass it off because they're all, they work full time on this. So they pay themself salary from the money they make off trans life land. But then they can do something like Pensacola was the gay city and the south and then Bible belt. So, you know, they can justify and say, we went to Pensacola, we paid for the trip

with Trans Life Line and we wanted to meet with gay community leaders that are living there and Then afterwards they post on Facebook about going to New Orleans and meeting people at bars and shit So it's like it's really fucking obvious what you're doing this money. Yeah Well, what can somebody do to get off your list? This the last thing I ever if I I mean if I if I'm ever on that thing The one thing I want to avoid in life is to be on Kiwi farms is one of these fucking little cows. Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up.

That's good. Yeah, I don't know. The only time I get in the old time, organic food is. Kiwi farms. Yeah, you guys doing, you're going gonna start growing produce there when you get enough gossip in the soil and you start talking on a field. Yeah, we should. We should make a farm.

We should bring all these people to it. And just I should make them make my, my kiwi farm, an actual farm. All right, buddy, what makes you a rage? Sounds like you could use one as a draft horse. Oh, God, what doesn't? All these fucking people sending me emails and shit every fucking day, it's like, just stop.

I'm not taking down your fucking thread. I don't care. You can show up to my fucking house. I don't care. You can call me pedophile. I don't fucking care. It's not going down. Now that pedophile thing is weird.

It's weird that they lead with that. Like there's no more race card. There's, you don't, you don't need to call the racist. And the funny thing is, you know, you bring them up immediately. He sounds fucking deranged. You know, you try to make this cohesa point why you should just associate with somebody, but you sound like a fucking lunatic screaming

about pedophiles and shit. It's like nobody is gonna take you seriously. Yeah. Well, I don't know, man. I don't know where the line is. Uh, I've been doxed. It's terrifying. It fucking sucks, but I read that man X-rayed and it's fucking funny.

I don't know how to reconcile those two things. We don't encourage people to harass people. I shouldn't mention that. We don't go out and say, okay, we got this guy's not just fucked with them. We post it. And that's sort of it. It's sort of like I'm not touching you. And the other people are the exploded of her and they say, oh, I'm at threat of being

killed or something. It's like, no, I'm at threat of being killed or something. And it's like, no, you're not. Nobody cares about you. We're just making fun of you. Yeah. I've also seen people say that just about anything is harassment. I mean, they'll get a mean tweet.

And you know, I kind of get into the form is a testament against freedom of speech. I really do. I can understand how people lead that way. But for all the things I've said today, and for a lot more, it's really important that people fall behind this kind of thing, even if it's nasty, even if it's mean-spirited,

even if it's offense. It's just we have a fork in the road, and we can either protect this kind of thing, even if you don't like it, or we can risk losing the ability to actually hold people accountable for what they do. So that free speech argument, either, it's like a 50-50 thing, because people say it when they're

actually trying to defend free, and then people say it when they're trying to do really bad. Yeah, I really appreciate it. A cliche at this point. Yeah, it was the age here. Yeah, I really appreciate it. Like a cliche at this point. Yeah, it is. Like, community of Philipah. But the thing is that there is such a thing as defamation.

And if you want to hold people accountable for defamation, you can go and you can hold them accountable. But you can't hold the forum accountable. And that's because of not to get legal, but Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act allows providers to pass on liability to the user-generated content. Well, it's a hell of an interesting thing because I think everything's kind of moving there. Like, I think privacy is not a thing. No, it's like I said, you're going to see a time where we have the dictates of everybody in Congress and it's gonna be great don't worry about it. Yeah. All right man thanks for calling in.

I know thanks for having me. Good luck. Good luck or I guess please god don't hurt too many innocent people and this this crusade you're you have on on free speech. You're disgusting ideas of free speech. I hope innocent people. I hope you too heard. Be careful with the army you have over there. Thanks for calling in. Cheers. All right, I've got a, I've got some from Astereos. Oh, oh, oh, Santa Cuck here. December is for Christmas, but January is for cockmas! And I'm bringing all the Cucks in the World a brand new album! It's Cockmas Carols! You'll hear it's like! Root off the Red Pills reindeer!

Never got laid in school! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna have to bring to school. There must have been some magic in that flash bolt red he found. Oh, oh, oh! It's Cuckmas Carol. It's Cuckmas Carol. Ah, you get it. Yeah, you see it as you're like, I do, I see you're doing Cuck. Yeah. It's someone on your network saying the N word.

Good luck justifying that one, one jackass remember when you were funny Frosty the alleged rave apologist was accused of supporting rape Although nobody would actually do that. It was Georgia's sour grave Oh, he would actually do that. It was George's sour grapes. Oh, Frosty was booted from a show at UCB. Now he lives in a house bought with Dick's show cash, where he shipped both happily. Oh, ho, ho!

I've got another gift for you, little Maddix. Sponsorship deals from Casper mattress, Harry's Races, and a Manper Store. Oh no! They're vanishing into thin air! They must have seen your download numbers! Ho ho ho! On the 12th day of Cock missed, Maddox brought to me

12 implications 11, Edward and Bob's 10-bow ring statistics 9th turn, it reaches 8th, conversation 7, maintained rape lists 6, W, 9th, FIGHT THE ROOT AND BOOGS 4th, 8th, runs 3, drops, sponsors to what funny coho send a big steaming plate of hot guys. All right. Thank you, hysteria. I was going to place it more of this later. You know, he's like a hundred bucks away from having to do a weekly podcast from having to do it. Yeah.

Well, because he's terrified. Yeah, he said a goal at 2500 bucks to do a weekly podcast. And he's right there. Oh, man. I mean, he's right on, it's never thought of what happened. No, is that happens? He put up a goal, he's like, ah, this is for sound, no one will ever do this.

But then it's there. I'm like, oh, shit, I gotta pull the fucking podcast out of my ear every week. Mm-hmm. Oh, God. Speaking of speaking of Maddox, which is stairs was doing because of the controversy that went on last week. There was all kinds of tweeting at Kendall and Hyde and Harry saying, hey, do you see what's, are you guys, you know about this?

What's going on on this network? People. Because of the Denzel thing. Yeah, like do you just, do you know what's going on on this content that you're paying to produce here? And they tweeted back, which is unheard of. Harry's tweeted back, we no longer sponsor the madcast,

media network. Like, yeah, oh yeah, like for a company to jump on tweeted back, we no longer sponsored the Madcast media network. Yeah, oh yeah. Like for a company to jump on and say, yeah, we don't tweet us. We don't want our name involved with Madcast media because it was, oh yeah. So, wow.

So that means, I mean, that means Madcast media is just down to their fucking Amazon affiliate page, which by the way, somebody, some dick had found that Maddox is breaking the terms of service on Amazon by encouraging people to bookmark the link. So the way Amazon works is you use the affiliate code, like I say, like, hey, Sean, buy an Alexa. Here's a link and you go buy it.

What Amazon does not want is for me to say, hey, Sean, buy an Alexa. Here's a link and you go buy it. Right. What Amazon does not want is for me to say, hey, Sean, you like Amazon? Click on this button and then Amazon has to pay me for everything that you buy. Yeah. Because that's not helping their bottom line. Yeah. Making, getting you to buy a product is,

because maybe you wouldn't buy it otherwise. But saying, use this bookmark when you go to Amazon and get a short land on my page. Yeah, so you just take money from them, guess what? Amazon has a big fucking problem with that. I'd imagine so. So buy the, so I only bring that up because that's the only sponsor madcast media has left

and they're breaking the fucking terms of service on that which you cannot get away with. Like either you're not making any money on something or they catch you and you can't fucking get away with it So this is what the dickheads on reddit started a death pool for madcast media Which I think is fucking hilarious guessing when it is that Maddox will declare Madcast media or at least the best debate and the biggest debate whatever the fuck the name of the show is when that's gonna die When that goes on hiatus

Parminently for whatever reason like mad because he's not gonna say it's over He's gonna say shit like that. It's gonna be put on hiatus Maybe you'll get a clip show or two, but it's gonna be put on hiatus so we can write a book or promote his book because that fucking thing is the bit gotta be a massive drain on his wallet. Like he's skatin' by the skin of his teeth, pain rent and paying for video games, whatever he's buying, skin of his fucking teeth from what I recall.

Now that podcast that he's always bitched about how much time it took him to make every week 10 12 15 hours a week That he's complaining about working Like working to do something that's everybody's dream to make this fucking content for people That's got that amount the return on that amount of time has got to be Nothing Absolutely fucking nothing so I think and I'm all throwing a guess on this Maddox death pool that it will end in 2017.

So somebody started this and read it, and they said everybody guess. Then Facebook picked it up, and they said everybody guess. There's like 500 guesses. So I came in and said, oh, go, go, go, go, we got some rules. We got some rules because this is a fun game. Everybody, right? It's fun. Everybody's fun game.

It's a fun game. Let's apply rules to it. I mean, well, yeah, you need rules to play again. We're gonna say free for all. Sean, I know. You need rules and arkey. Come, we can't, we gotta have a ring. Can you change the rules? No, no, rules are what they are. All right. You post what the rules are. All right. You post what the rules are. Just check. That's what the rules are. You can't be changing rules in the middle of the game. So these are the rules. You go on the right at thread. You get one guess. You can't edit it. You get you will see if you edit it. There's a little asterisk by your by your guess. You go on the Facebook. You post it once. The dustins got a thread over there. You post your guess. And the winner.

it wants the dust and got a threat over there. You post your guess and the winner, I will fly to LA. I chimed in when the momentum got going on this red and said, if you win, if you correctly guess the day and the hour on in which Maddox announces the hiatus, because that's the word for dead, the hiatus of the best biggest debate, I will fly you to LA so you can be on the Maddox's funeral. The Dixho presents Maddox's funeral show. Well, I have a big funeral. People will give you a la G's for the death of a career and the death of a podcast and whoever guesses it without going under.

I said over on the thing, but I meant everybody knew I once your time passes, you're done. So then some smart ass came in and said, oh, you guys are all stooped, but I'm guessing December 31st, 2017. But then it's like, dude, somebody could guess December 30th. That's how price is right works. You can't just go, if you're not the last to guess,

you can't guess a dollar because then somebody says $2. Right? So you got a guess, you got to give me your bet. Now there's a lot of things that could go into it. Tax time comes, you start doing the books, and you realize that you're only making, you know, 30 cents an hour, hucking your Amazon affiliate code and spending 15 hours to basically shill for YouTube celebrities. Like Maddox isn't getting incoming traffic. He's just, he has people on his show that pitch their content and they're going out. So, you know, I'm saying they're they're there to get his listeners on their shit. It's it's all it's it's cock-a-mamey. It's completely fucking

backwards the way it's set up. Anyway, tax time comes. And Rucker says, I'm not this isn't making me any money. I could be spending three. I could be spending three hours, four hours a week at home jerking off and make more money than this. I could be clipping coupons and make more money than I'm making over here on Mac. What the fuck am I doing here? And now I'm getting to, now Harry's hates me. I'm getting dragged through the mud for this fucking guy because he can't say he's wrong

and he's got some reprobates on his media channel. Like, I don't have time for this shit. I'm gonna go write some music. Fuck the, Maddox's, well, I can't fucking fuck it up. Maybe, maybe his girlfriend says, bro, you gotta sell some books. You gotta stop this shit and maybe his editor calls him up and says, hey, idiot. Stop fuck, stop pretending you're a talk, Joe Radio, Jack, and get out there and sell some fucking books.

Of course, the book would have to be out in 2017 to do that. But I think it will be, then maybe that's around September. Maybe that's your guess. Like these are all, maybe it's a run up to September. That's where your guess lies, but maybe it's around tax time. In that case, April 15th. Those are gonna be the hot spots.

You know what I'm talking about? I'm not guessing that there've been. Dude, there's like 500, there's hundreds of guesses. Because you go on, you got your account, you go on the Facebook group, and you go on the Reddit, you got your account, and you just give a timestamp.

And the closest person says, it's all timestamp, you know, from the service. So the closest person who gets it right, without going under, you can't pass your time. And of course, the announcement's going to come on Facebook because that's the only place. Maddox post because you have tight control over it. You can delete anybody. There's people will comment on his thread and any kind any kind of blowback at all instantly deleted. It's fucking hilarious.

All right. This is what I so that's the exciting, exciting game, exciting game. Go to the site and check it out. Here's a bit I want to do, before we get to the rage lottery, I want to do this bit for you. The Dixho peasant. Do you want one of these? Stories from Real Manloom. All right. I got a lot of these.

I got so many that I think I could do one a week and still have plenty more. This erotic story comes from PJ. Long time listener, thought I'd better email you and thank you for what your show did for me across the pond just before New Years. I'm in the northwest of England. It's cold, wet, windy and poor. Those are good combinations for an erotic story. All we have to do is drink, fight, fuck,

and hope our local footy team doesn't get beat, which mine does frequently. Oh man, a lot of consoling needs to happen in that case. What if you talk them out of a suicide? Yeah, I work in an office job and at the start of December, a new girl started. Let me tell you she was a salty potato If you know what I mean Little shy, but good looking and jugs you can rest your tea pot on

Yeah I'll take about a doose doose and a half. I'll take a minute to think of those jacks Sean don't ruin don't spoil the image for everybody. We had a few chats waiting for the kettle to boil, which is where 90% of social interactions take place in England, but nothing overly familiar. One evening. Did you get her mixed up with a tea pot? One evening is I was walking to my car. I spotted the potato by the bus stop. Well, you might be right. He's calling her a potato. It was dark and lashing down with sleet, so I naturally offered her a lift home. She wasn't on my route, but I wasn't arsed. So she got into my immaculately clean car, great dick tip.

Man, that is a great dick tip. My car is always embarrassingly dirty, like covered in shit. I took a trick home from a bar one time and I laid my jacket over all the garbage, like a guy in the 1800s over a puddle. Yeah. You know that move? Cause I gotta do something with this.

I can't just let this chick's gonna have to wade through garbage. Like she's gathering forensics at a landfill, just to get into my fucking car. I gotta make a joke out of it. It's like, oh, please, Malady, let me just cover up this garbage. All right, and I turned on the engine. My superior Apple iPhone connected via Bluetooth

and continued playing the episode of the Dixia, I had started on my commute to work. Uh-oh, I looked started on my commute to work. Uh-oh. I looked at her. Would she understand? Would I have to explain why this shouting abusive man was my choice of listening? No, because she instantly said,

oh my God, you're a dickhead? No shit. Yeah, no shit. And we both started laughing and listened all the way to the house she lived. She asked if I had any plans for tea, dinner, and I didn't. She said she was doing a lasagna.

I was in the door. Can you believe that? And she said, you can bring your own food. Yeah, I was doing one lasagna for me, but I could throw in some extra garlic. You could pack at it. Yeah. After a couple of brews in one lasagna for me, but I could throw in some extra garlic. You could peck at it. Yeah. After a couple of brews in a lasagna,

we retired to a bedroom, nothing like. Nothing says pre-sex, like Italian food. Just two multiple helpings. So just a whole plate of lasagna where you don't have to control your portions and you can serve yourself a huge heap, like half the fucking dish of lasagna right at the beginning of the, right at the beginning of the date and just chow down until you think you're going to fucking burst and you realize you haven't digested

your entire guts full. That's what you want. That's a, that's a great prebang, just a, a shitload of carbs. So you can barely fucking move in bed. So your shoulders are pinned down like an imaginary Andre the giant is not like an imaginary Ricky the steamboat is on top of you holding you down and you're working, you're both working your pelvis over and trying to do like a space shuttle, ISS docking procedure without moving your upper bodies.

As he gets it reflux from all the tomato. Yeah, because he can't, yeah, it's up in his throat. His all the tomato is gurgling in your throat. And the garlic bread is pushing against your shvinkert man. So is he going to have sex with Garfield there? She was doing lasagna. I was in the door after, after a couple of brews and the lasagna, we retired to a bedroom.

Now in English gentleman, never kisses and tells, but what I will say is that he just writes a show. What I will say is that my erect penis entered her fanny in the act of lovemaking. If you know what I mean, just to clarify over here, Fanny does not mean Ars. It means Minge. Whoa. You know what he's talking about? Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? You know what he's talking about? Yeah, I get it. Now, every Wednesday we listen to the Tuesday show at her house and get hot and steamy after work. You're not just America's wingman, mate. You're the UK's too. Keep up the good work. Oh, that's pretty fucking cool.

Yeah, good for him. Yeah. Good for him. Very cool. The erotic stories from real men. I hope it's true. To you by the dick show. Let's see, I got some comments here.

Benton Bannon says, I too grew up in a household of the mother who wanted birds as a pet. It's fucking miserable for everyone involved who doesn't pop by the pet. I think I was a preteen when it started when my mom brought home the first bird. It was one of the big macaw parents, the kind that would split a wooden alphabet block that the children play with with a single bite. It's a hell of a first bird. Pretty soon we had another.

These bastards had giant six foot tall cages and they would scream all damn day every damn day Since most of us would scream back they begin to imitate our screams blood curdling death rattle types of screams But no, that wasn't enough that my mom had to give a third pair at a white cockatoo So their credit they're a pretty chill bird. We had taken care of cockatoo's then the fourth parrot came This is one of those Amazon pairs. This is a list of birds that he's got. Yeah. Fuck birds, terrible pets, terrible animal period. I have no mercy for birds anymore.

Chairman Ham says, dick, this week's hot goss is telling of Maddox again, having been in the situation before where something interferes with the guy's capability to have all the carefree sex he could possibly sandbag with multiple women, a violent, a volatile explosion of rage isn't surprising to me. However, in the case of Armenian fellow, the spaghetti is spilled when he blows up her fucking phone. This has never worked in the history of mankind. It's absolutely true, man. You cannot, the second you start texting a chick more than twice in a row, you're done. You just played yourself. You have sunk your own battleship. Never, never, never text a chick more than twice in a row without a response. That's it. Hard and fast rule, no matter what, never, never, never. The second she, three

strikes and you are out, motherfucker, the second she sees three on that incoming text on the, that little notification screen that you see on your phone, the second she sees three on that incoming text on the says that little notification screen that you see on your phone the second that counts up to three you're fucking done you just played yourself. Uh, he is this is never worked in history mankind and any polyamorous ambitions are cut off at the knees with this autistic failure. Also the idea that you ruined whatever ambitions you had with this girl by allegedly sleeping with her is in my estimation proof that he never gave a shit about you in the first place.

Interesting. Either he thought you were so tainted that he couldn't possibly follow behind where you plant your flag allegedly or his ego is so overinflated that he thinks people around him shouldn't be sleeping with girls. He had relationships in the past. Strangers are okay though for some reason. Well, maybe they're not. I don't think this problem is controlling women specifically, but more that he's some sort

of Machavellellian manipulator on the smallest possible scale with the lowest possible stakes that's Chairman Ham. Mumkey Jones sent this in, and I wanted to play, it's kind of funny. Yeah, here we go. Mumkey Jones found clips from the biggest problem. He sent it in, it's called the biggest hypocrite

in the universe regarding that last round of hot gons with the wedding ex. I always want to play ex, I think it's pretty funny. Everybody in the red it's seen it, but here you go. And they're fucking pussies, and they sit there and obsess about their ex who's moved on with their fucking lives. Look, man, you break up with someone or someone breaks up with you, that's the end of it. Look, maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they moved on with someone else.

That's the interesting part to me. Maybe they like you, maybe they. Look, maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they moved on to someone else. But if you want the interesting part to me. Maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they, maybe they like you, maybe they don't. Maybe they like you, maybe they don't. That's the first place we go. Maybe they like you, maybe they, maybe they moved on to someone like you, maybe they don't,

maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they don't, that's the very first thing. Maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they like you, maybe they don't, maybe they don't, maybe That's the very first thing, maybe they like you, maybe they don't They don't, they don't want to fucking be with you We don't have someone else, but if you sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new Sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person that are living with You're a fucking pathetic loser

And who sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person that are living with you're a fucking pathetic loser. Who sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person they're living with? You're a fucking pathetic loser. Sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person they're living with. You're a fucking pathetic loser. Is that point clear? Sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person they're living with?

You're a fucking pathetic loser. And I think the reason I, yeah, I thought it was interesting. It's nice that it's on tape. All right, let's get to, let's get to the Rage Lottery. Let me see if these guys are on. All right, we're giving an affirmative nod.

Oh, you gotta do that for the Patreon. There we go, affirmative nod. I'll give you another one for free. All right, we didn't do the Rage Lottery last week, but we got a new challenger this week. Let me see if he's on the phone. This is the challenger this week. Let me see if he's on the phone. This is the challenger this week. Petty man, are you with us?

Yes. I sure hope so. Now, you're going up against a Titan of rage on the show. Well, Izzy hasn't been defeated. He's been on for like six or seven episodes. And he has yet someone has yet to even take a chunk out of him. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Someone has yet to make him bleed. That's what I'm saying. Good shot. So we're gonna give you 69 seconds. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. All right, buddy.

What makes you a rage? Go. All right, Dick, the thing that makes me a rage this week is the word inappropriate. All right. Whenever I hear the word inappropriate, my asshole immediately tightens up. It's the verbal equivalent of misratchage from one flu over the kukus nest. It's the giant boot on the brakes of whatever fun time you're having. And 99% of the time is being set by someone trying to get you to stop doing something fun. It's usually

followed by clean that up, put your shirt back on, get that lamp straight off your head, or leave my son alone, assholes. If you're the type of person who, if you're in a three-stages episode, we'll get hit in the face with a big pie, stop to whom you're doing. And what you're doing usually is calling someone inappropriate. Where's people in the world? And I always picture them walking around, telling people to push stuff down, get your elbows off the table,

be quiet, you know, complaining to television stations because they're dumb children, so on an episode of American Dad, where while they were out trying to cheat on their spouse, they're the type of people who try to get a kid expelled from school for chewing a pop tart into the shape of a gun. It's the type of people to call the local news

because it kind of sort of sounds like their kids talking Elmo doll says the word fuck. First word in the world. All right time, good job buddy. I do, I've used an appropriate though. Really? Well, but I mean, you gotta realize something. I've used it with my life coach,

and my life coach is the kind of guy that comes to my house, hits on a pregnant woman and starts an altercation with a man who's just gotten out of prison for murder. So, I would say my friend, I think you're being a little inappropriate in the moment. I know what you're doing is funny, but perhaps a little inappropriate who drops the inappropriate bomb on you in your life. Professors used to be teachers. You're in school for parents. What are you in your life. Professors, used to be teachers. You're in school for parents of friends,

sisters of friends. Well, don't let them get you down. Managers of repropriate. You're gonna vote for it. You could, hey, it might turn into a career. You never know. You never know. All right, buddy, thanks for calling. Good luck. Thanks, sorry I wasn't much of a rage. I was more of a nervous. No, no. All right, buddy, thanks for calling.

Good luck. Thanks. Sorry, I wasn't much of a rage. I was more of a nervous this time, but that's okay. That happens. We'll see what the people say. We'll see what the people say. Oh, thank you.

Have a good one. All right, here's our champ. Izzy, no, Brian. Izzy, how's it going? Oh, can anybody hear me? Yeah. Oh, here we go. You sound familiar, though.

Yeah, just give me, let me handle this. Here, my microphone was acting up. Let me go to this one. Hello. Yeah, just give me let me handle this here. My microphone was acting up Let me go to this one. Hello. Can you still hear me? Yeah? All right good. I think somebody on my wife must have been messing with my computer because my microphone my good one was unplugged So I had to do some We're back your wife was messing with your computer My God, I guess doing some online shopping or whatever, the required order to unplug my microphone.

Oh. What happened? Dude, you can't online shop with a microphone plug, then. And apparently not, they must have, I don't know, gets in the way of her savings. No, women, women online shop, like men take a shit. No, incumbrances. They cannot have any incumbrances

distracting them on the computer while they're online shopping. You got goofy shit. My husband sees, she sees that microphone plugged in and she's thinking of you and it ruins her online shopping experience. She's like, I gotta think about this fucking asshole. Is he looking over my shoulder with this microphone,

looking at what I'm shopping for, judging me. So she's gotta get that microphone the hell out. It's like, you don't lay in bed. over my shoulder with this microphone, looking at what I'm shopping for, judging me. So she's gotta get that microphone, the hella. It's like, you don't lay in bed, you don't look at porno, in your marital bed with the picture of the wife on the dresser looking, you gotta turn that thing around.

I was like, you can't, don't look at me right now. I'm doing my own thing. You go to the bathroom, you gotta take your shirt off when you're taking a shit, you can't have towels hanging down and touching you while you're taking it. They're the exact same way with the online shopping, just like the porno with the men,

women need a whole bunker on their own to do their online shopping. That's why it happened. That's what's going on in your wife's breathing. All right, Izzy, first of all, you aware of the controversy around you? That was reported to me. So, I have heard.

I saw on the Facebook group, big shout out to the guys in the Facebook group, that I was being called a ringer, and English was not my first language. So, I honestly, I wasn't sure what that meant. The only thing I remember of being called a ringer is the movie, the Johnny Knoxville movie, where he acts like he pretend he has special needs to compete in the special Olympics, and it's called a ringer. I is the movie, the Johnny Knoxville movie, where he act like he pretend he has special needs to compete in the special Olympics. And it's called a ranger. I'm like, are they calling me retardant?

Is that what, like I didn't get it? Yeah, they're calling me retardant. That's what a ranger made. It explains to me. It was one of the buddies there on the group, I just said no, no, they think that Dick paid you to come on the show to make it better, or more entertaining, funnier,

which I took as a compliment. No, no, no, no. This guy sent me evidence, his form of evidence where he took the last rage lottery and he pitch shifted Frankie Fartz aplenty who you were up against. So that, and he says that if you pitch shift Frankie Fartz aplenty's voice by 10% or

99% exactly. That's right. Like me? Yeah, it does. I mean, it's like all conspiracy things. I looked at him like, I don't know. It's fucking sounds like Izzy, but I don't think Izzy's got away when he talks. That's like a, that's like a Chuss sound.

That's a Latin American Chuss sound. That's right. Cause we, Sean and I, we make a hard chug, like a chuchu train. Yeah. But the Latin American chuss, a little more like a chush, like a sash, a shave, soft,

and he didn't have that in it. So that's what I said. But then the guy said, well, I'm Brazilian too, and he does. Huh. So I said, well, I don't know, man, I guess we gotta, we gotta agree to this. So there's a Brazilian guy saying that I am a ringer then, yes. They're the Brazilian dickheads and they know me.

They know my work. They know I didn't do any kind of shady dealings to get on. But you know what I mean? Like, well, these are the accusation is against me because the accusation is that I hired you, I hired you or convinced you to become to take on the persona of Frankie Fartza Plenty and then use a voice changing modulation system on your voice to shift it to my microphone on here. You guys just saw it.

It's true. On your voice to call into the show to somehow make it more interesting. That was his claim. And I don't, I'll post the evidence. And everyone can... Maybe I have it right now. You mean, you hear it right now? Yeah, let me see if I have it right now. Throw it up, throw it up, let's see.

Just happy the recording is smooth. As far as, yeah, I think clicks and pops. Because that shit was pissing me off, because they sounded like terrible edits. Pacing everybody else. And I'm a fucking good editor. So it sounded like things were chopping right in the middle of words. You are a good. And I'm a fucking good editor. So it's kind of like, these things are chopping right in the middle of words. You are a good editor. I'm a good editor.

You are a good editor. Yeah, it's actually, I have a tremendous amount of Shadon Freud because everybody says Manix's new episodes sound like they're shit. This audio is all fucked up. And there's, I've seen. They are unlistenable. They are unlistenable. They are unlistenable without the quality of the sound itself, but it's just somebody did a like a fast cut of just like some of the

cringe of his last episode where we talk about polyamory and getting you know, or whatever. And even the little like two-minute blurb that the guy posted I commented on the red it's saying like even that I couldn't listen through the whole thing. The audio is fucking terrible. That would make me even more mad in my commute or in my job. Like I, the quality is going down fast. I haven't heard it, but he has a, he has the template that I always used. I mean, it should be pretty much plug and play. Oh, you, you shouldn't all this be plug and play. The point is one would think people have noticed and commented out and

it makes me so happy because Maddox used to say because he thinks he can do everything better than everybody else. Like that's his thing and he would always say after we would have an editing thing or an audio thing or if I would ever say, why don't you just stop editing the episodes and let Sean edit them. Just take his cut and upload it. You don't need to listen to it three fucking times. You don't need to listen to an hour long podcast three times and like obsessively edit these micro silences and like he would add silences to make it like to punctuate point. He would make weird edits and I said, just let, just take Sean's

and upload it or give him notes so that he can like overall notes that he gets better over time. And it was the same thing with the thumbnail guys, he would just never do it. He was, he was, he was just waste tons of times. And he said to me many times, oh, I've watched, I'm doing the Maddox. I've watched Sean edit and he just, he does a lot of things that I would do faster. So that's why like this is him saying, he does a lot of things that I would like I look at him doing it and I'm like, you could do that more efficiently

with a different number of key stores. I'm like, you know, maybe he's like, maybe he kind of knows the software and is doing it. Maybe there's other things that he's considering other than just the immediacy of what you see. Maybe it's a fucking craftsman and you should trust a craftsman who's in actively doing his craft over your knowledge of audio, which begins and ends on one how-to video of audacity. And that's it. One, I've never edited anything over there.

What do you mean? You just mastered it in the bathroom. Has he ever been over at my house? Well, I mean, like if he's watching editing, here's how he's talking about watching you just use the computer when we record. Okay, well, yeah, that's not editing, but number two, he edits the two mix.

He edits the stereo bounce that I give. Yeah, so like if you're going He edits the stereo bounce that I give. So like if you're going along, like say you bump a mic, you bump your mic. On that track, I'll take that out. I'll mute that section. There's, yeah. So, I'm bouncing between three, four or five tracks, depending on what's going on and fixing little things on each one.

So that takes a little bit of time just to, just to, uh, either fix the waveform or just silence it or whatnot. So, yeah, I mean, then he gets it clean on a two mix and then he can. And it's perfect. Well, it's, I mean, you don't, you, I don't edit your edits. I just uploaded. I take out that, you know what, I always figured that he would edit for content, you know, which is like that's, I guess, both of your prerogatives, but I would just take out the hitches, the big audio glitches, like you say, hitting mic stands, trying to get rid of the coughs, because, you know, everything gets into every mic and you're in the same room, so. Yeah. But it makes me feel real quick here. You guys sound like absolute professionals. On my podcast, I started recording it using a screen captured, a screen capture app. And I would always forget to stop it. So my computer would be like full

of like 50 gigs of just like my computer screen being recorded. This is what I talk about like editing and mixing and sound engineering, all this magic. It's going right over my head. Like you guys seem like you're actually know what you're talking about. And I, well, here's the part that shouldn't go over your head. What makes me so happy to see that the audio has gone to shit over there is how many times I have heard him say he could do your job better, just because he compulsively says that. Like he said, I wanted, Matt said he wanted to pick up composing to write the theme song for his first video. And I'm like, are you fucking, do you know insulting that is to people

who are actual composers that you have the audacity to think you just pick it? Like the idea that you can just do everything better is offensive to me as on every level, as a create, like as any craftsman will tell you to go, okay, I found the, I just love seeing, I found the fraud video. Is he, let me, let me play you. I just love seeing I found the fraud video. Is he?

Let me, let me play you. I just wanted to what you're saying. It reminds me of when I was listening to the old show and he was rant about itunes or dropbox or tellers, automated tellers, making it sound like it's this complicated thing that he knows the right the best way to do all this shit. Oh, it's always. I'm like my ageing, my 55 year old Brazilian mother can use all of those things just fine.

And he has like you're saying like this, this arrogance of saying like, no, this solution that works for everybody, and it's just fine for everybody. So good enough for me, I'm gonna come up with like a better way to do this. And the result is, I mean, it proves in the plumbing with the quality

of the sound there, not the shone's gone. All right, buddy, let me play, let me play this. Let me see how long it is first. I want to make this sound better. We're getting there. It's the equipment. Yeah. Okay. Here's you from last week. All right. You know what makes me arrange this week? The one and only Frankie Farts of play. You know what?

Fucking burn. Okay. This one's dick is what I'm just trying to watch a nice basketball game. Yeah. The mix might lose. I don't give a shit. I just want to watch the game with the smelting and the the beer in my hand. That was not that was the original audio. Put goddamn pity homes. Yeah. Fucking goblin. Okay, let me find where the pitch shift is. That was the original Frankie Farty play that went out over five minutes straight about bullshit. Dig. All right, why do I care? How many five percent of this group put goddamn pills? I don't give a shit. I just want to watch the game with smoke. Okay. Okay. Now this is what he's

saying is pitch shifted to be you. I watch a nice basketball game. So the little mix might lose. I don't give a shit. I'm watching the game. But goddamn pity. I'm talking about the catering. I'm talking about 75 percent of this group. I was told that I was live on the on the live stream when this guy was raging and I even mentioned like I think I mentioned this on the air like I'm not even a sports guy I wouldn't even have thought of of doing a rage about like it's no it's not me it's okay all right let's get to

let's get to what actually makes you raise this week all right ready all right ready what makes you rage go dick what makes me a rage this week bad haircut. So listen as a guy It's very little we can do to improve our image, right? I mean I could work out any better But cool we can facial hair we got facial hair. I can fix my facial hair And there's your regular old plain hair hair, right? So we go to the hair salon the barber and you ask for hair cut First of all, they're like, oh, what do you do? How do you want this? I have no idea I'm not a hair specialist. I can't see my head from behind. So you tell me, you're the one I'm paying for.

You tell me what's what looks good. I want to know. I don't look stupid. If it's shit, if it's shit, I can't, well, you do, there's nothing you can do. You can just walk out. How can you just walk out of service and not pay? Like, that's what I can do that.

I can't pursue that. And even if you do that, then it's already done. There's nothing. The hair's cut. It's on the floor. It's ain't swept away. And even if you do that, then that's already done. There's nothing, the hair's cut, it's on the floor. It's ain't swept away. There's nothing to do with every other kind of service that you're paying for, somebody to do something for you. You can, you can send the food back to restaurant.

I mean, they're gonna spit on it, but you can send it back and get a new one. The contractors that fucked up your kitchen, you can tell them to unfuck your kitchen. But the hair, when you got a bad haircut, that is, that's as definite as it gets for the next three weeks or so. You have to walk around like an asshole with a bed haircut. They try, sometimes you go and they try like these experimental shit, I was like, oh, this is the new thing that's

since now, it's a fade on this side and a number two on the back here and you do this and that. And once it's all done, that is, it's, it's, it's, it's final. It's like it's death. It's a hair death. All right, time, time. Yeah, I agree with you, man. I mean, you have beautiful hair, so you don't probably don't relate to I'm terrified. I'm terrified. Congratulations of the people that have to get haircuts. I make them look me in the eyes and tell me that they're not going to fuck it up now. The only difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is two weeks. Yeah. I suppose, but it's two weeks of rage. Sean. All right, is he.

Give me that. Thanks for calling in. Give me that. Good luck. I think he's, I think I brought that problem in on the old show. Yeah, you did. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that will hurt him. Maybe it won't. I don't know. I think we might need to bring a ring or another ringer in for Izzy. I think Joel might need to come in to de- ringer in for Izzy. I think Joel might need to come in to to D-throw an Izzy though.

He's very good. Okay. Let me play. I want to play this song from Sam Glaze. This dude makes some awesome fucking songs. I've had it sit in my inbox while I keep me into play it. But here we go. Spies it up.

Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up. I like what's coming. Spies it up.

Spies it up. Spies it up. Spies it up shot. face it up shot. face it up. He's those remixes. face it up. face it up. face it up. face it up. face it up.

face it up. what the fuck is going on? what the fuck is going on? I don't know. We're talking about Sriracha. I can't judge it. Alright, I'm gonna have Dustin on. It's been a long time since we had Dustin on.

I'm gonna see this here. Hey Dustin, are you here? Hey Dustin, are you here? I'm spicing up. I'm spicing up. I'm spicing up. I'm spicing up. Now he's got another great remix about going out with your friends. Yeah, he just takes clips from the show as he remixes.

He's really fucking good. Hey, I'm in Lecambra, Waterboy, Thermoptic. They're all on the fan, they're on the fan music page Look I'm in the twilight zone this episode why I don't know So why I don't know All right, Dustin are you there? What is up for that?

Hey, there you go. Yeah, I can eat this fine. You haven't been on for a while. You're killing a thing or it's about then. Been forever. Well, it's nice to hear from you again. Um, what the fuck is going on with the Facebook group? Oh my god. Like guys, there's a lot going on. What are you hearing? What's, what's getting passed on to you? It is, I belong to it. And it is, first of all, it's an avalanche of content. When you join that group, it is, it is nonstop. It's like a fire hose of

Dick show stuff and shitposting coming from the Facebook group that cannot be stopped. But now people are telling me it's secret. it's closed, they can't get in. What the fuck's going on? What's, how do people get into the Facebook group? We did. We did in fact go underground for a while there. I'm seeing videos of Dustin Sankett and joining the ground. Just to report it.

And it, it, it didn't get shut down, but people were going on and flagging other people's content. They were reporting other users to basically Facebook, who I think in turn, I think they sent them to Twitter to complain, but they were getting their accounts shut down. So we had to go underground for a little bit, just to ease a little bit of that tension. And we're back up now. You could find us now. Sean, it's the Facebook is fuck, like I log into the Facebook group and I just try to scroll

down to keep up with it. And I see that they're trying to fund someone's transgendered surgery. This is what you leave the room for five minutes and I come back. I like you know, we're talking about lop it off, Dixx. Next thing you know, they're funding a transgendered surgery. Like what the fuck is going on here? Yeah. And I'm afraid to dive into the comments of that one. So okay, that a lot on tangles first particular her name is Chelsea and they is Nepente. Okay, and she's one of the weirdest things about it is the fact that she literally lives within like a 10 minutes drive from my house from like my front door. She's she's a local to where I live and I've never met her before. I know if I would say stuff like that.

And she knows it. She knows it. She's also to give people tours of my neighborhood where the Walmart I frequent, the church I was baptized in, and then give them 10 minutes to relax. She's going on in this episode. You see what I'm saying? This is what happens in the Facebook group.

I can't. The strange woman is gonna go to Walmart with Dustin. Yeah, she's trying to fund her surgery to turn her peen into a box. And she actually said that if you, if you did donate and you left a comment, the funniest comment gets to take it for a spin around the block. I'm not sure if that's illegal.

What are you waiting for? Spin around. What the clock? Be careful what you say on her block. The new, the new box spin around. What the fuck? Be careful what you say around her block. The new, the new box. Yeah. So there's a contest to take the, the post op, uh, trans women's, uh, new vagina for a spin. And, and I don't think they knew they were getting involved with that. But that's, that's what she, uh, told me today. That's what the winter gets. So funny is common gets to go for a right around town with it. I mean, the Facebook group, it's so interesting because the Reddit group is the moderation happens like a military organization. It's very strict and straightforward and

efficient and you don't even see it happening. The Facebook group is a, it is like a party that Dustin has created in his own image. It is a, it is a very different animal. He's, he's posting videos like he's posting live videos in the Facebook group of like the, the goings on of the Facebook. It's a whole nother show that is, that is going on every day that I cannot possibly. Okay, so now the contest in the Facebook group is you will be the first one to christen a post op trans woman's new equipment if you make the funniest joke. And I think that's, that's a first for its kind. I don't think anyone's ever done that before. I don't think so. Really doubt it. Is this the same girl? This is also what I hear. I hear there's a trans woman

in the Facebook group that it wasn't known that she was trans and dudes were like sending her, giving her this week business over the messages. Yeah. She's, she's, she's, she's sent me screen captures of it. Um, dudes, they totally think they're stepping that trap and I'm not helping them. I'm not getting them out of that. They, they totally think they step in that trap, and I'm not helping them. I'm not getting them out of that. They fucking set themself up for that. What a distraction. When did they find out?

She literally says it all the time. It's basically every fucking five minutes, she's telling everybody, oh, I'm a transgender woman. But they just see long hair and they went for it. Yeah, yeah, they're just real bored with their phone, their hand, and some lotion on the other hand, and they're just real, real bored with their phone, their hand and some, some lotion on the other hand and they're just messaging. Oh my god. See, it used to be Facebook has, has questions for us, but now I have more questions for Facebook.

For Facebook. Because this is just a regular and then there's guys calling in and leaving messages about Adam Nash who I have no, I don't know, I don't know what they're saying. There's memes attached to them without a mesh. He got in, it was a guy in the Facebook group who got in a motorcycle accident. And there's like a, it's like a safe Ferris kind of thing. Really? No, the safe Ferris is for the Trans surgery.

Yeah, this guy who had post funny content in there, then he got into motorcycle wreck and he got all messed up. I don't know. Do you have any, do you have any questions for us? I have I have one question I brought. It was actually from somebody that was shit talking me in the in the live chat. Okay, but I like to I like to ask you this question. He wants to know if you had a choice between Trump revealing himself as a brony or doing a line off Maddox's Gucci, which would you pick? As a part of the question of what does Trump smell like?

That's from Kim. I would prefer if Trump was a brony just because of how much it would piss everybody off. I would love my first tournament of nerds. I went as my little pony and the amount of like, the amount of angry that people get if you in any way are positive for some reason about my win in like in reality, being a fan of adventure time is exactly the fucking same as my little pony. It's both cartoons for children. I didn't even know like, Brony was a thing until like a few years ago.

Like why do people even give a shit? I don't know. I think they're having it like shoved down their throat or something. Is that the thing? They're doing their little conventions. Well, no, is that what like people who take offense to it think?

I think coming in with your Bronie shit. So I just don't care what you're doing in your own house. But yeah, but you, you, you target on the internet and post about your kids. And even like, like they're talking about they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. I believe in like they're talking about clock. They're just they're unfunsched. Like they don't care.

I don't relate to it, but who gives a fuck? I mean me either, but it's weird when people publicly embrace something that they just enjoy, everyone wants to tear them down. Well, absolutely. I think it's it maybe it's a jealousy thing that like everybody's kind of into something weird, but they can't say it because there's too much of a man. Like they got that pride, you know, like maybe somebody, I don't know what you could be into, that you can, you know what?

You could be into anything and you don't want to admit it because everybody's running their own PR firm. Like they got this image of themselves that they're trying to project and they don't want to admit it because everybody's running their own PR firm like they got this image of themselves that they're trying to project and they don't want any cracks in it any cracks at all sure and then they see these brownies coming out and just having fun with being fucking weirdos and being way too into a cartoon and it's something takes it takes their reality away from them. Like I think it cheapens the amount of work they put into telling people who they are.

Or it somehow exposes, like everybody's very into video games and cartoons. It's like, yeah, those are all things that children do. And then somebody comes and says, Hey, well, I'm into my little Bonnie. That's like something that children do. They're like, and the other side goes, no, no, my stuff is, my stuff is adult.

And this and that. And they're like, I don't care, man. I'm just here, just here talking about rainbow dash over here. Just doing, just dropping rainbow, I'm just dropping my little pony memes. Are people mad about it? Are people mad about guys being into my little pony? Well, that's what a brony is. Oh, yeah.

That's what a brony comes from. But why would guys be into my little pony in particular? There's, okay. So there's a documentary actually on Netflix about it. Okay. Are you in it? I have, I have watched it. Yeah, because I wouldn't know what a brony was and I wanted to learn what. Let's hear it. But it's, I guess because the show has like a message of inclusion, right? That's what I thought. Yeah, like you're summering. There was some kind of message, right? I mean, look, it's inarguably, it's good. Because it was Lauren Faust, the show runner for that show,

was one of the creatives behind Foster's home for imaginary friends, hugely successful show, like hugely successful kids show. Inarguably, it's a good children show, or it was while she was the show runner. There's no, you don't have to justify, the, justifying it as it's a good show, it's like it should be fucking obvious. But it is a little goofy when you got 30-year-old men who are,

it seems like it should be a little goofy who are so into my little pony. Yeah. But then it's like, I don't know, man, why are you so into, it fucking, why are you so into anything? Why are you so into any little kid shit? Like, that seems like everybody's into little kid shit. Yeah. But just for some reason, these guys get picked on. I don't fucking, I would honestly, I would love if Trump just, just started tweeting about my little pony, like,

if my dream would be his inauguration speech is Trump reading his own my little pony spec script that he wrote himself that would be the greatest inauguration speech and he would read it. Okay. I'm starting. It's called it's called Applejack finds her parents exterior day. Well, tweet it. He might do it. That's you. Apple Apple Jack is doing the apple harvest. You know, like that would be it.

And what's the other one rainbow dash flies in and knocks over the apple card. And she says, I've got news for you. Everybody listen. Everybody like pay attention. We're gonna be here all day. You quiet down. And there's gonna be that million woman march like screaming at Trump.

How much he's a bigot in a race and he's gonna be at the podium reading a 30 page treat, a fan script, a full script, not a treatment. Doing, just not doing any of the voices at all, reading his my little pony fan fiction, where Applejack finds her parents. I said too much. I said too much. You're right on my mind.

I would love it though. I would like, like, there's some things where you just, you see how much it pisses everybody off and it makes you love it. Like socks with sandals. Remember how people were always into socks, how horrible socks with sandals are? It just makes me wanna always wear socks with my sandals. Everybody goes, oh, you're like a tourist for my, oh,

a German tourist. Yeah, like, why do you care if I wear socks with fucking sandals? I hate you because of that. I hate that I hate you have that in your heart. Yeah, how does it embossed you? Why do you want everyone to know that you hate socks with sandals? Get fucked.

Get here. I'm a, I'm a wear socks with sandals. Am I fucking hand? And now I'm doing the same thing that made me a rage. People are criticizing me and I'm internalizing it. Yeah, I guess I guess I get it after all. All right, I have let us Jones news. Oh, what?

What happened with Lottas? I got word that we actually have direct contact to Jones in the lock up. In the Who's Count? Yeah, we have, there's a couple of people that actually started like a network to help him. And they're looking for books to send to him. So I'm working on piecing that together

and I'll be sending that to you your way Okay, I wanted to get books to them. There's members in the Reddit and in the Facebook Don't have that direct connection and making sure it's all the jet 98% sure it is so I will get that for I know I know mad cugs is in touch with them all so they're putting together a book Yeah, he's part of it lettuce is gonna have more books than he can possibly read in the time that he's incarcerated. He's gonna have to stay in there for a while. He says he can read his book. He was hoping to get a faster than Maddox finishes his book.

Oh, I believe that. Anybody can, my nephew can read books faster than Maddox can finish his book. All right, you got any more questions, Dustin? No, that's it for this week. All right, buddy. But next week of the week after. You know, somebody's got to take Izzy down.

I was thinking maybe I know Joel wants a shot at. Yeah. I'm thinking maybe Dustin should have a shot at it. I would fucking love it. Give me the chance. Give me the opportunity. How can we go wrong? Because you've been calling in for so long. And really the Facebook group is out of fucking control. Now, it's really fucking out. It's a monster.

It is a monster. Maybe you should square off to see who takes on Izzy. Oh, dude, that sounds awesome. I've dully done for that. I take notes. I have a notebook at work that I take notes all day long of topics that come to my head and then why they pissed me off so much. Do you do any work? So I have I have stuff to work.

Yeah, do you do any work there? Because you're not really. All right. Now, a lot of the Dustin backlash died. Oh, no, it's it's full force. Oh, it's full force. No, it's because Dustin will then go on and antagonize people. Like if they say they don't like him, he'll go on and say something like, oh, your tears are delicious to me. And I'll just I'll read and go, oh, man, you, you want to be that's all I'm just a guy. As long as you're having fun. I have a, I have a huge resource of memes on my phone. So I immediately have one already for every situation. Basically.

What the hell does that mean? Like, respond with a meme. So I immediately have one already for every situation, basically. What the hell does that mean? Like, respond with a meme immediately. Yeah, immediately. I could just fucking drop a meme real quick, just smash them. Now they know your secrets. Just smash them, Sean. Yeah, they're getting smashed with a hammer of memes.

All right, Dustin. Thanks for calling. Thanks, but I think we'll do that. I think we'll have Dustin fight Joel. Yeah. And then next Dustin fight Joel. Yeah. And then next week. Yeah. Yeah. Let me see.

Let me play the rest of the Cuxmas carols from Asterios. This is the last of Asterios' Cuxmas Santa Cuck, because January is the time for comedians to air out their Christmas bits that they didn't do in time. Sure. So they brand it with a very shoddy rapper of January being the time for Cuxmas. Here you go.

Oh, oh, fucking, oh, I've got something else for you, Maddox, a successful third book. Wait, oh, the pages are blank. Just like your Patreon. Ho ho ho! No cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock Cochmas carols order today just visit www.SantaCook.com By the way, I genuinely married it you George. I know you've been talking shit about Santa Cuck. You soon to be homeless empty bank account 40 year old failure. I don't know how I could possibly be clear about this, but you've literally turned a fat Jolly cook into a person who spends every waking moment

Clouding his revenge and I This is over you will Oh Oh, how? How? What are you doing? Oh, man. And the phone hang up. That's the caper. I thought it was, I was sewing to the band. Did you guys thought it was a real phone? Oh, my God.

Oh, it took a hard turn. It wasn't expecting that from Santa Cuck. He does have SantaCuck.com and it goes to his Patreon. Just so you know, Sean. Okay. Okay, this has been the Dix show. Jesus. Go to thedixshow.com.

If you want more, check out any of the videos we talked about in the show. Go to patreon.com slash the Dix show to kick in a couple bucks and see the video. Closing song is going to be by Lord Eddie the X, Chip Tune Remix. This dick match to see you next Tuesday. All right, let me get some voice music out here. There it is. There's the song you know it love.

Okay. Hey, what did you do to Larry? Oh, man, you know what? I'm gonna call him next week. Okay. And get what Larry. Get what Larry thinks I did. Something gross, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm gonna start with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because Larry has a great story around that anyway. Yeah. Yeah, let me get him to call in next week. I forgot about that. People love his podcast, by the way.

That's what I hear. He's in a lot of good reviews. I've got to listen to it. Me too. I get to get it. I've downloaded it, but man, everything just fucking stacks up. Here's a voice mail. Hey, Dick, it's Nick and Las Vegas.

You know, it makes me a rage? Pre-work outflators. My taste buds are constantly being assaulted by this razzmit-ass bullshit. Every time I buy a new can, I offer a different flavor because the previous one is such an egregious failure. I don't need my pre-work out. It tastes like a fucking strawberry margarita.

I don't want to taste the real strawberry margarita. Most of this was some taste that's been a lab thing to taste like. Doesn't know icy blue razz makes me want a fucking deadlift. Can't eliminate dust. And eliminate does it still on the car and orange dreams the cool sure shit will have me hanging forty five off my dick uh... pre-workout to taste like this baby powder gasoline

if it's not meant words it's fucking cocaine kool-aid yeah the fact that you could support out the same as a blown out you for feeling for the disability immediately to put and like it just wasted $40.

Next, go purchase. They do do that. It's also only 46 seconds. The pre workouts that you do any pre workout stuff? Wait, you mean like supplements? Yeah, supplements, protein. No, you know, I'm too lazy naturally. I know, there's every time you go in and get them,

they're always like, well, we got this new flavor. You want, it's very blasphemy. Man, well, why? Why is it always this every, you know what, well, you know what flavor I want? No aftertaste. Give me that flavor. How about no film on your fucking throat? That's the flavor of way of workout supplement I want. Clean, clean, uh, nothing, absolutely nothing but air, or maybe tobacco. That's, I want just smoke to cigarette as my weight supplements. So I can get in there and feel like a man. Like I just smoked a fuck, yeah, I just smoked a big old pack

of file foot like a file footage of Homer Simpson cigarettes. And that's when I'm gonna bust out some fucking curls. I don't want blueberry jam when I'm going to the gym to work out. Give me a fucking book. Give me something good. Pussy, that's the flavor I've gone too far. That's the flavor I want. That's the flavor I want. Hey, Dick, I want to talk about what makes me a rage this week.

What makes me a rage is people using their kids as an excuse for their shitty fucking behavior. So I'm in a work situation. I need a graphic done and I need it in about a week turnaround. And I'm talking to my colleagues and I say, hey, I've got a friend who's a graphic designer. She can do a great job for us. And they say, okay, great, get her on board. So I pin her up and I say, hey, listen, here's our situation. We got a very short turnaround.

And we'll pay you. Can you help us out? And she says, no problem. She says not a big deal. We'll get started. So the week starts rolling around and a couple days no buy, which is already, I'm expecting some sketches already. Right, I feel. Fine, she's busy. already, I'm expecting some sketches already. Right, I feel, okay, fine, she's busy.

Finally, I get to make some sketches. They're rough, they're in the right direction. I say, okay, we're heading in the right direction. It's gonna be okay. That's the fucking worst. When you feel, I pause it for a second, that feeling of deadlines rolling around, and you feel people are just not fulfilling their end of the bargain and he'll like

Come on man. Oh please don't please just tell me if you're gonna do it Please just tell me you're not gonna do it. Please don't fuck me Please don't please do not fuck me like I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. Like, oh man, I don't know if maybe as you get more, have you had more experience, you just learn to just cut them, cut them off right there. Like the second they don't meet the first thing, gone, you're gone.

Because man, every fucking time. They ain't gonna go by. I say we need corrections, we need tune ups, we need to get it together before we put down the final product and she says no problem, we're going to hit that line. She just keeps reassuring me over and over again. And then the day of the deadline comes and she says don't worry, we're going to be done tonight.

And I just fucking say, okay, I'm not fucking trusting you at this point, but all right. So the day rolls around and the next day, I'm just sitting there thinking, okay, she's fucking late and so I hit her up and I'm ticklish. We gotta go with someone else. I don't know what you were fucking thinking and she just says, I'm really sorry, I was just busy with my kid.

And I'm thinking, what the fuck is wrong with you? You let me along all fucking week because of your stupid fucking kid. Are you telling me that you pushed this water head as little brad out of your cunt? And apparently what came out with it was all of your respect and professional courtesy that you couldn't just let me know during the

week that you were just too fucking busy. I've got angry fucking colleagues that are mad at me and I fucking vouched for you. So what am I supposed to do now that you let me along and you're telling me you couldn't communicate with me the whole week. It's not that fucking hard. Pick up your phone. Just say you can even do a volume thing you can get while you're using one hand to wipe the shit off your little kids' balls. Pick up the other hand and pick up your phone with it and just

send me a text message and say, hey, I'm sorry. I know, I'm not pissed off. So for my fucking room, I left such a gaping black void in my life that I can no longer fulfill my professional obligation. So sorry about that. And you know what? Fuck you. You've not has nothing to do with your fucking kids. You're just a fucking slave.

And you know, while I'm at it, just take it. That was it. Indivacement. Are you one more? Yeah. All right. I'm not going to leave you in again. Call you one more? One more? Yeah. All right. Hello, tremendous again. Again, calling one more fucking time because I just had something happen that really fucking hurt me. I'm scrolling through fucking

Facebook, you know, drinking, having a good time. You know, I'm just trying to do my own fucking thing. What the fuck? Hey, everyone, I'm trying to make awareness for Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior. If you share and like this, He will give you all the blessings in the fucking world. Well, won't you? Look at that. You see that. It's all that fucking takes. One like I'm going to share in a amen and you're fucking in. You made it. Fuck that. All right. Okay. I think I'm good. All right, guys. Thanks for tuning in.