The Dick Show - Episode 330 - Dick on The Delorean

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Pani beats the Wage Gap, I build an Atomic Bomb, Karl messes up his audio, Chris the Kiwi seduces a prostitute, saving your Star Wars virginity for your husband, and I beat my nephew at Pokemon; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

Oh my fucking Christ, dude. What a disaster. Yeah, that was weird. As long as the only thing that goes wrong in my life is this show. Yeah, that's what I prefer. Yeah, I mean, I think anybody would. Oh my God, Pawnee's curse.

She's cursed us. She's gonna be here any minute, too. Is that right? And I fucked around and I found out. New meeting, yeah, yeah. Creating new meeting right now. I was just talking about how relieved I was. This week about how we got to fuck around

with all the audio settings and all this shit. You were just saying that? Yeah, do you remember that? Was it with you? No, it was probably with the on biggest problem. Oh, I would guess. I mean, now I just forgot what I have to reset with a beer, even though I swore off.

I said no more liquor. Really? Till my birthday. What did you say that? I just got a good look at myself and I made the mistake of being in the bathroom and turning sideways. Oh really?

Oh God, come on. No more beer or no more liquor till your birthday. No more drinking at all. Oh wow, okay. So my birthday. God it. Life is stressing me out. Well, I'm not going to have to point where I have to reset

for the show I have to do it. I get it. Because nothing works. I understand. Oh, that doesn't happen to you. It doesn't catch a good end. Your back gets more and more sore, so your stomach sticks, it's mostly back.

That's the deal with my gut. Yeah, it's mostly back and more back. Really? Yeah, yeah. It's mostly like your back gets sore, so you kind of arch it out. Oh, gotcha. And then it's like, well that's mostly my,

if I could stand up, if I could straighten my spine, I would look just as good as you or anybody. Yeah, exactly. But for sure, scoliosis, it often hits the middle aged. You know what I mean, though? Yeah, you're like, oh, gotta get it. Yeah. If I could just, oh, wow, I got a big old gut down there. But it's mostly back. It's mostly back. At least 75 80% fat. 75 80% back. Should we start the show? No, why not? Why not? Totally forgot what I was going to talk about. This probably won't even work. Thank God. What a fucking throwback. People expect professionalism at this point. They expect things to work and be on time and they're just not. Yeah! How come you're here? You want to get into? You look at you. You got us the show rivers

and cons of us. Give me a live from Mount Bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your hostique master's in AK, the $20 million man! I'm now training me back again from his long week off. Sean, the audio engineer, World Tour of Thursday. What the hell is, what the fuck was that? I don't know. How did that just start going? You were here when, you were here what? For the bonus.

For the crossover. For the crossover. For the crossover. For the crossover, yeah. God. What a crossover that was. Well, that guy is, he's my new favorite, I think. Yeah, what was his name?

I don't know. Alejandro, Weedman, or something like that. Mexican drug dealer. I don't think either of those names is right. You really, we were listening. We were doing it. It's actually sad, but it's also. What is sad that he is?

Is life? Yeah. But it's also, it's, it's just a man getting chewed up by the system. It's like you can't you can't look away. You have to listen. We were We did the we did the fat goth lady that tells fake history that she thinks is real hit that she's presenting is real history right right now is that was That was podcast number one that we reviewed with Carl at patreon.com slash the dick show and Carl's whatever I forget the URL for that one Oh my God Number two was

Somebody called it a patty C cups. Yeah guy like this guy is this guy is another Patty C Cubs. But I just didn't hear it right away because I hate Patty C Cubs. Yeah. Like I hate him because he's withholding himself for me, you know? You give me that gold. You give me that gold, Patty Cubs. He's like Maddox. I'm selfish of you to fucking share.

I'm selfish of you. Take my money. Come on, give me something. Give me who you are. I want your disease. Give it to me. 20 bucks. What could you want?

For a grand we got up to with Carl. No. Five grand. You know we could use it. Yeah. And his banana routine is getting stolen by this girl online. Now she's a banana.

No, everyone's a fucking banana. Maddox I'm saying, patty C. Cubs is gone. He's nowhere to be found. Really? I think so. He's just karaokeing now. Oh, he's, but he's still putting up content. No, no, no.

He just deletes it instead. Oh, God. And she shit it down in the first place because it's all trash, but it's, feelin' full. Well, specifically, you think of what he's given the world. It's incalculable.

He's right. What he's giving the world is, so thenalculable. He's right. When he's giving the world, so then this, it's a hard act to follow. When somebody suggested this guy, Luzando, Alejandro, or that's all that's funny. That's his podcasting, where it's him sitting and talking about movies for 17 minutes. And then in the middle of him talking about the movie ghost,

not total nonsense, gibberish. Rantings of a mad man. It's weird, he'll just take a tangent, but it's not a, it's like he teleports. He doesn't like go off road. It's like he cut it, but he didn't. Yeah, it's like he cut it. Cut it.

And then picked up in the middle of another conversation. With no, maybe there's, you know, if I ain't thinking, he tells a story about how when he was a kid, a social services came, took him away from his mom, he was at his dad's when he was a kid, social services came, took him away from his mom, he was at his dad's, his mom shows up and his dad cracks his mom across the head with a two by four. With a two by four, right? And then his mom asked him for a cigarette because she got cracked on the head with a two

by four. She's like, God, I really need a cigarette. I really need a cigarette. You have to listen to the whole episode because it's in the middle of nothing. It's crazy. It's not like the episode isn't called the time my dad cracked my mom in the head with a Mexican chalela.

It's just called like, weed makes everything funny. The movie or two-wong food, my review of two-wong food with Julie Neumar. Was that the title? I think it was. Yeah. And then he went on a tangent about how good they looked

and then, like, yeah. And then RuPaul, how he loves RuPaul as a woman, but ugly man's. And that made him believe that the trans movement is real. Oh, is that what he, yeah, I didn't even make that connection. I just sat and zel'd on. And then, yeah, I could see how people are born in the wrong body. Like RuPaul doesn't think they're born in the wrong body. No, that's true. Yeah, RuPaul's different. That's, that's a, these conflating two things. But, body. No, that's true. Yeah, RuPaul's different. That's a, that's a, he's conflating two things, but yeah, that's, who knows he's like Patty C. Cups, but also good. I don't hate him, but in a, like, it gives it to me.

Oh, fuck, stop. Offbringing. Who knows? Like his, his mom's an addict and an alcoholic, right? Yeah. So his dad's an alcoholic. He's an alcoholic. His mom was dating a millionaire mailman.

We're giving away the best parts at patreon.com slash the dick show. But who knows what she was doing when he was getting cooked, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. I mean, I know she, I think he's like a stanza. She's a drug addict, I think. He's licking those stanzas.

Yeah, they're all drug addicts. That's the news flash. That's the key to understanding the human race. Everyone's a fucking drug addict. It doesn't, and you know, it's like 40-minute files, but Jesus. That's the lesson to pass on. Well, everyone's a drug addict.

Everyone, yeah. And you know about 40 or 50 petafiles. Really? First and foremost, now to your right, both of them. They're the petafiles. Yeah. I saw this movie. Orphan, there's what we got this deal.

My girlfriend and I, where I have to watch a horror movie every year. Really? For Halloween. I fucking hate scary movies, because I get scared of them. If it's a demons or something. And it's a guy, whatever, I'll fucking crack that guy with a bomb. Well, two by four. Let it face.

Let's go. I'll do like Roll Gold Pretzels. Try to chain saw these bomb. Well, two by four. Let it face. Let's go cigarette. I'll do like rolled gold pretzels. Try to chain saw these nuts. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,? I remember all commercials. Oh, I thought you were so much in Beatsville. I'm so mad at you. No, it's so commercial. Got it, James Alexander. Yeah, he comes down and Beats the Golly and it just bounces a puck right off his dongus.

Oh God, does it hurt? No, of course not, because he got just pretzels. Oh, that's a rolled gold commercial? Well, I mean, I hope so, because that's how I remember it. You sure it wasn't a dream commercial for anything. Right, which is, what makes your dingus. I don't think I ever saw a notebook

of hockey puck. I don't know. Pretzels gotta be, it's gotta be the pretzels because it's a sign-filled reference, right? Pretzels are making me thirsty. That's right. Pretzels are making, yeah.

Fuck was I even talking about? I don't know. Fucking the guy. The orphan movie, pretzels are fucking, we're leading in with everyone's favorite topic. This movie orphan is about, and I always try to ruin the horror movies,

so I try to ruin the experience for her. Social stop making me do it. Well, how do you do that? By predicting what the twist is. Oh, I like that. Like, I'll be like Colombo. Yeah, one more thing. I try to predict it in like a sheet here. Well, what I asked about is, why is a girl who is this movie orphan gets adopted?

You're very smart. Shut up. It turns out she's like a lady who's a midget. Okay, but the actress is 10, right? Yeah, there's this scene where she tries to. Yeah, it's just 10 playing a midget. No, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, little person. Well, I don't know how that works. A little person born in a midget's body.

Hmm, how the actress is a, the actress was 10 when it was made, but she's playing a little girl who's secretly a midget, who, in an old lady. What? You're not supposed to know that though. That was the twist that I predicted. Okay. Like it's obviously, oh, it's gotta be an old lady. What? You're not supposed to know that though. That was the twist that I predicted. Like it's obviously, it's gotta be an old lady. It's gotta be like a 35 year old lady.

You know, 32. It's gotta be an old lady. An old lady, right? Yeah. Nailed it. How the fuck did you nail that? Turn it off! Turn it off!

Next year! I don't have to watch anymore because I figured it out. That's it. She hasn't figured out that you quickly read Wikipedia. I'd know. No, I don't. That watch anymore because I figured it out. That's it. She hasn't figured out that you quickly read Wikipedia. I'd not know. I don't. That's what you should do that, John.

Oh, come on. No, no, no, no. Because I gotta keep you as you get old. The one day, this show will end because I can't figure out how to fix OBS. That was a lot of variables though in that that it could have been. That's how podcasters retire. Yeah. It's an podcasters retire. Yeah.

It's an unboxing. Price fighter. The ring retires you. Yeah. Oh, yes, retires you and podcas. Yeah. One day Ralph's going to get on and he's going to go, I can't figure it out. And it'll be midnight.

He's like, well, I'm just going to go to bed. Same thing will happen to me. I'm like, I can't figure it out. Well, it's, it's Monday. Yeah. Oh, oh, man. I guess there's an out. Well, it's Monday. Yeah. Oh, man. I guess there's an happened. It had happened.

I couldn't figure out the quasar or the quimquams or the asic profiler. The slug flotter. My blockchain was sizzled. You know, I couldn't figure it out. It should have been sauteed, but it was not. It was shaking. I got hot blockchain news for you too, by the way.

Oh yeah, this was so smooth, orphan. Orphan. Like I go, Boba Duke, I'm like, it's a fight club for women. It's just in her imagination. This is all her coming to terms with her dead husband. Boom! The movie, Boba Duke. Yeah, I'm out.

So I'm out. I don't have to watch anymore this shit. Yeah. No, but has she seen these movies before? Yeah, these girls watched, they love it. these movies before? Yeah, these girls watch they love it So it's the same shit over and over get spooked out every time and try to spook out men It's basically like a horror movie a woman Making a man her husband watch a horror movie is basically like you getting in an argument with a woman and putting your fist through the wall

Okay, right? Yeah, I'm kind of implication of violence and terror, right? Are you freaked out? I made you, I can make you do that at any time. Right? That's what they do. Why did you ask about that? I forgot. Um, I just was curious that Bika, oh, because you said, you know, you figured out she's

like, how did you see that? How did you know that, right? I was like, okay, I'm playing that she has seen this before. Yeah. Yeah, she is. She's in the fucking theater. So you get to turn it off? Yeah, I just walk out. Yeah, I'm done. I'd go on the balcony like crashing tiger, hidden drag and fly away.

There you go. Okay, anyway, there's a scene in Orphan like like Muhammad and the magical rock dick. I jump on my flying burrow. Yeah. Did you know he had a little burrow? Donkey and ass. No. Did you know this?

No, no, I don't know a whole lot about Muhammad. Muhammad, yeah. Did you know he was six year old? Why if everyone knows that? I mean, I shahali ala loaali ala loaali. Did you know that? I didn't know six. I know she was six. Well, I mean, makes sense. I mean, yeah, it's like you got any breath here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, put her in my thing. The first or last religious leader to just kind of take what they wanted, you know,

yeah, but it's also like like they're not like, well, maybe they were like, oh, yeah, but it's also like like they're not like well, maybe they were like oh yeah I'm gonna talk you like what like what Mary wrote in underage donkey to you know, I'm gonna rage donkey I fly his donkey flew. Oh, so Islam. You had a donkissus. Yeah, yeah, call the Burke Burke Berk a a Barack called a Barack like Obama. Is that really the term? I think so. Hold on. Let me look up Mohammed the Barack like Obama. Is that really the term? I think so. Hold on, let me look up. Mohammed, you're homid flying. Yeah, the Barack, see? The Barack. It's a donkey with a man head and wings. He flew, is it supposed to be based on what he actually had? What do you mean he actually had that? Well, I mean, did he have a, right? His, does he, is it allegedly, is, did he have a,

a real life donkey that flew? Yes. This is crazy. How did he, how do you think he let all those guys into battle against, uh, O.J. Simpson? Can you fucking believe that that got taken down for hate speech? Uh, my O.J. Simpson, well, it could have been anything that I said I guess, because they don't say what I said was hateful.

I made, you know, I made fun of whites, Mexicans, Blacks, Chinese, and OJ symptoms. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country.

And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. And OJ symptoms in the country. Odyssey. Oh wow. Me hate speech. Can you believe that? No one is more pro Israel than me or all those other five races that I said knows more pro OJ Chinese black white Mexican than me. I don't think so at least. No, I don't see how they could be. I mean, a typhedral reserve. That's the most pro any race you could be, including trans people. Yeah. Where's our fucking money? Right. Everybody wants their fucking money. Yeah. Everybody should have their money. Yeah. Well, they're saying that they're saying that

trans people can't go to the bathroom. You know where your money is? Right? Right. Well, no, but the bathroom, well, you'd rather have 40 bucks or do you wanna go to the bathroom? Well, I'd rather have the 40 bucks. Well, why don't you knock the shit off then? Why don't you stop crying about every little thing that they're shoving in your face to get upset about? I really believe it's because we know we,

deep down we can't do anything about the big problems. Oh, my. So it's just distracted by, I'm doing something about the big problems. Oh, so it's just distracted by, I'm doing something about it. I had an hour. I mean, don't do anything about it until it gets bad enough to where violence occurs. And that's only happened every time in history.

I'll tell you what, we're entering fifth generational financial wars. Yeah, not in following more straight up, straight up fifth generational financial wars. Not in following more straight up, straight up fifth generational financial wars that are gonna be between crypto people and the IMF. I had an hour and a half long convo with some of the, easily the best developers I've ever worked with my whole life.

I've worked with a lot, who've been working on the new project to parentheses one and parentheses system. You know, my our version of Patreon, but on the blockchain. Yeah. Totally. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna be talking about a lot when it drops, which I hope will be this, which I think will be, pretty sure will be this year, should be entering beta in

November. You've been working on this a while now. Yeah, and it's, it is, it is the atomic bomb of, it is the atomic bomb in the war against financial deplatforming. Wow. And by that, I mean, it is totally, it totally, it is devastating, it is unstoppable, it is unavoidable, it is a molecular chemical reaction that will blow out all of this inefficient bullshit, all of this, all of this gatekeeping, like preventing people from joining the financial

system unless they put down huge sums of cash. Right, no, controlling access to your money and to your subscribers, VseV antiquated mainframe systems that run in batch systems called credit card processing that take from 3% up to, in the case of YouTube, 30% of your money. No, gone. Yeah.

Wiping it all out. I mean, all out. Bankless, decentralized, encrypted, not only can no one, not only can no one interfere with you and your fans and your money, they can't even see what you're talking about. You explained to me. Yeah, decentralized and encrypted. Uh-huh. Or it's like that's a game chain.

You can't even be, you can't be shamed. Why are you hosting this? I have no idea what he's talking about. I can't see it. Yeah. What are you hosting? Yeah. Oh, and you're fucking computer dude.

That's amazing. Um, totally it is, it is my, and these guys did all the work. Yeah. I'm just gonna push it as hard as possible. Right. Because it is my, and these guys did all the work. I'm just gonna push it as hard as possible because it is the answer to so much that web2 got wrong. And that put us in this position of constant fear, like Nick Riquita, does you know Nick Riquita

got his channel band on YouTube? No. Would you think that I would know that? Yeah, I thought you were a Nickhead. I like Nick. I've never watched a show. Oh, boy. Like a fee, like a fee-

Like a fee-female. Like a fee-female. Why would you say that? What do you mean, thief? Well, like if you nick something, you know, then. Oh, oh, oh, oh, God. Oh nick something, you know, then oh God. Oh, wow. You know, did you listen to that Josh

standing episode with Ralph? No. I skimmed through it to see where the brakes were and stuff like that. What do you think of your skimming? Did you think it was good? I think so. I don't think anybody complained.

No, they said Josh should be a permanent guest. Josh is good. He's hilarious. Yeah, the last time when we were all in, yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's setting up a show with me and Vito and him in Long Beach. Oh, no show. November. A live show? Yeah. Like a little kind of mini show, nothing like what we do.

Like a biggest problem. Yeah, cool. Yeah, something like that. I would love to come to him to come in as much as possible. Yeah, I mean, you got to go long beach and see the only thing. I know. Yeah. Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah, the blockchain thing. Yeah, the blockchain. Exactly. Yeah, it's my delorean. Well, you don't want it to be your delorean. You do, if you know, the history, delorean, that original deloreanorean as designed, it's a fucking badass car. The one that never went in production. Yeah, the one that got, the one that John DeLorean

started with. Yeah, sick ass car. Really? Did sports go? Oh yeah, it had. I mean, he's, he fucking knew cars. But there's just like a pro, yeah, because well, he was a big way

that did he work for Ford? What's he? He was the charger guy, wasn't he? Was it, was it, was it Chrysler? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know he's born in Detroit, somebody give me the, somebody give me a fact check on John DeLorean.

He really got fucking, I'm forgetting right now. He got entrapped by the government for moving cocaine or agreeing to move cocaine. He did agree to move cocaine. He agreed, man, no, but, yeah, but he got off. He got off.

Because it was entrapment. Because it was entrapment. That's right. God, I fucking hate that. Yeah, off. Because it was entrapment. Because it was entrapment. That's right. God, I fucking hate that. Yeah, they were fucking clumsy about it. He had never been in trouble before. My point is, it is fucking perfect. I'm gonna talk about it more later though,

but anyway, this movie orphan. Yeah. I was a 10 year old actress doing like a full on, like trying to seduce this adult man. Oh God. And the movie. It's like, where the cuties be fought? This is way worse. God. And the movie. It's like, where are the cuties be found? This is way worse.

Yeah. What? Anyway, orphan. Um, don't watch it. Well, watch it, but know it. But don't watch for that. Yeah, know what you're getting into or just know the plot so you can not have to watch it.

Yeah, the girlfriend wants to watch it. You got to wait for the right time. Yeah. Right? Oh man. I'll tell you what. You can't give it away too soon that you know. Yeah, I don't think I like, I don't believe you. Cause they'll know right away.

Right, you have to. You have to. I have to point it that you cheated. Have hung in there long enough to have picked up just like a few clues. And then you can be a genius. What was that? What, oh that was you being a genius.

Come on, don't fuck me like this other app. Getting ready to join. Who? I don't fucking know what this fucking thing is doing. Thanks, see you then, says Carl. Okay, I better make sure I'm in there. Man, I'll tell you what makes me rich. I, I put it, I, my nephew,

which one? And then we'll talk about Alex Sean's the little one, Bam Bam. Yeah. He's, I got him into Pokemon room where I bought him that box of Pokemon cards. And so, every time you beat me, I'll give you a little pack.

Right. And you get a meltdown because you can only got one pack at a time. That's right. So now he's like, Mr. Pokemon. He's like, come back anytime. I'm gonna fuck you up. Come back, come back this week. Yeah. I'm gonna fuck you up. Come back, come back this week.

I'm gonna fuck you in front of your girlfriend. I'm gonna fuck you in front of the whole family. Whoa, that's a big touch for the man. That's a big touch for the man. I know where. I do too. My sister. Gory.

That's one thing I know about your sister. Always homophobic. Always homophobic trash talk. Just, I was like, Jesus. Some people will go in on like other stuff occasionally, like, oh, you're so weak, like you're dumb, you're bad, you're so dumb, you get shot, but hers is always homophobic. Like, oh, you're shitting out any calm on you,

you're running to fur. Oh, my God. Yeah, why is it always homophobic with you? Really a one note, you know, one note insultor. Everyone just eats it up. Well, you know, I'm a phobic with you. Really a one note, you know, one note insultor. Everyone just eats it up. Well, you know, I'm so good. The classics are classic for a reason. Yeah.

Right? So I'm like, wow, okay. You're coming in hot. Yeah. I don't want to be fucked in front of my whole family during my dad's birthday dinner. So I threw it out to Twitter. I'm like, hey, I need

to kick the shit out of my nephew for a boy in Pokemon. Yeah. Can some of you help me out? Yeah. So of course, I got a Pokemon master writes me an email like four pages. Like, oh, yeah, here's here's your deck. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. This is what's amazing about having a web presence. Here we go. Yeah. And he's like, well, what's this? There doesn't know what he's, he goes, well, what's the, what's the, what's your budget? And I said, unlimited.

Yeah. Whatever you got. I don't care. He's as far as purchasing cards. Yeah. So I load up my card of all these super cards that he gives me. I go, yeah, yeah, and he's telling me like how they're all used to.

I should give him a shout out. Wow. Cause that was fun. Let me see Pokemon. What was his name? Connor. Connor, okay. Connor has given me this list.

Connor's a Pokemon guru. And I love Pokemon master. I load them all up into my cart and I go, okay, that was a pain in the ass. So we're gonna roll these cards from different places. Whatever. And it says, please allow. Connor, couldn't you have just ordered them for him?

You know, I mean, that's what I was, we're kind of when I said, I'm glad you said it. Kind of half-assed help out is this. Four pages, really. I'm glad you said it. Of course you say that. Of course you say that. Of course you think that.

So I loaded all up and it says, please allow two to 90 days for shipping. I was like, okay, that's a lot. Instead of telling me what I need to get, why don't you just get them and give me what I need? Can you ship them to my parents house? Yeah, just what you pick it out, you know better than me. So just, yeah. And just a, you know, a brief handwritten note or something. Brief, brief, brief.

Yeah. Bullet points, preferably. Write the note and then do bullet points at the top at the top. Like a daily mail article. Exactly. They trained me to read like that. I didn't, I don't like it. Yeah.

So says allow, please allow two to 90 days for your cards to get there. Two to 90 days. It's not like that. All right, so. That's a card show up in two days. Quite a one though. This is hot.

It's like the cable company. Yeah, between like, you know, Tuesday at four and like the, you know, Wednesday of 2024 at 615. So the cards start trickling in in two days. Yeah, all right. Two days, three days, four days, all right. but Wednesday of 2024 at 6.15. So the cards start trickling in in two days. Yeah, all right. Two days, three days, four days, all right cool. I still got a week before the big butt fucking

that's supposed to occur. But you're getting stronger every day as cards show up, right? Yeah. Bound on a dumb dumb. Bound on a dumb dumb. Right? Meanwhile, he's blissfully unaware. I'm playing online.

The impending doom is approaching. I'm playing online while he's at school. Yeah, you fucking idiot. I'm playing Pokemon all day. Yeah. You don't have these kind of resources that I'm going to have. Well, that's there you go. That my sister has not a level playing field. Well, he isn't quite aware of that yet. But he's got the youth. He's got a sharp mind.

I'm making mistakes left and right. I'm like, oh shit. I didn't mean to hit my turn. Oh shit, I forgot about this card. Throw more money out. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I he's got the youth. He's got a sharp mind. I make him a steak, slipped, and right, I'm like, oh shit. I didn't mean to end my turn. You just drove.

Oh shit, I forgot about this card. Throw more money out of the mistakes go away. So my sister hits me up and says, oh, I saw your tweet. Hey, F-sler, what are you? Hey, I'm afraid my son's gonna pack your shit in it. Dad's birthday dinner, huh? Oh God. How does she know that? Cause she's looking at your's birthday dinner, huh? Oh, God. How does she know that?

Cause she's looking at your Twitter or something? Yeah. Oh, okay. She goes, I saw this shit you've been saying. Yeah. About my son. Oh, no, is she gonna, is she gonna rat you out? She goes, well, I'm taking him straight

to the Pokemon card store after school today. Really? So show you. Oh, God damn. Is that a car? Probably a carol. Okay, let me see here. Uh, oh no. It was just like a, oh, a prompt for. I'm probably Carl. Probably Carl. Okay, let me see here.

Oh no, it was just like a prompt for. Oh, there we go. Okay, there's Carl. Sorry Carl, I've been having a lot of issues today. Have you? Yes, everything is fine. Everything is fine. And everything is fine. Yeah.

I started a little late today, I noticed. A little bit. Did you see that? A little bit. Yeah, I did. I'm just telling this dumb story about my Pokemon. Keep going, buddy. Don't let me, let me stop you. Okay, so my sister says, yeah, guess we're going straight to the Pokemon store after school. Yeah. And he's got unlimited

credit. I think, okay. Well, we'll see who's unlimited as a liar. Yeah, we'll see who's unlimited. You fuck. So she's trying to, you know, US, my Russian invasion, my throwing money at it. Yeah. She's the bad guy in this situation, so I'm trying to say, I understand. So I'm like, okay, he's sending all these pictures of his cards.

I'm like, all right, all right. That's a pretty good card, okay. And meanwhile, it's getting close to the day of, and my last three cards haven't shown up, and they're the cards, they're the integral card pieces for my deck. You know how, you know control over when any of this shows up.

Two to 90 days. Two to 90 days. Two to 90 days. 16 days. All right. Ha, last day. I open the mailbox, nothing at all. It's okay, well, this is a big problem.

Cause I've been talking a lot of shit. Yeah, so I go, I stop off at some card store and I'm like, do you have any of these cars? These last three Charizard cars? 90 days, what do you think I stock these? And he's like, no, no, we don't have that. What do you, why do you need them so bad? Oh, I got a very important match. This little kid's gonna fuck my ass in front of the whole family.

I don't get it. I'm so sorry. I do have this crummy deck. He gives me this $20 deck. All right, well, I think I know where this is going. I guess this is what I, so I break the deck out at dinner and everyone, he's a little kids laughing at me. This is a joke.

Come in here, this is horse shit. Come in here on this today. You're talking all this trash all week and you come with this, wow, you know. Just what I got, so you start playing, Sean, you're never gonna believe this. Okay, I probably will. I kick the shit out of him, too.

With a two out of two game. I've never felt better with a garbage deck. My God, I mean, it was, I was pouring sweat. The entire game, I'm tempted to start fudging coin flips. I have no idea how you play. You just play, you put cards out, you know. the entire game, I'm tempted to start fudging coin flips. I have no idea how you play. You just play, you put cards out, you know, how to do damage counters, one beats another one, rock paper scissors rules, fire leaves and stuff like that.

And what is he, is he getting, I mean, it was this, it was by the hair, a contair that I won. How long do games last? I'm talking one mistake, one mistake, and one bad coin flip, and he knew it at the time. As soon as it hit tails, he said, monkey cocks, and that was it. That was the rest of the game.

I was like, oh god, thank god. So two out of two, how long do these games last? Like an hour. Really? Yeah. Are people kind of checking in on me? It's just like, oh, how's it going over here? Like it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, making sure I'm not cheating and Really? Yeah. Are people kind of checking in on me? Just sweat. Like, oh, how's it going over here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, making sure I'm not cheating and shit.

Yeah. Oh my God. It was the one of the most, it was one of the most intense competitive experiences of my life. Did you just rub his nose in it afterwards? You must have. No, no, no. Really? No. I did take a picture of him when he lost.

What about that? I bet that's worth a thousand words. Is he pissed? No, he was fine. I gave him a bunch of his packs. I said, here, open a bunch of packs. You can be pitty. I don't want your pitty packs. Uncle, you fucking asshole.

Oh, dude, it was like when I was like, it was full on like when home, when Bart beat Homer and the Simpsons in that boxing game. Yeah. Yeah. All the same. Everything exactly the same. Mm-hmm. Anyway, Carl, how you doing? I am doing well, buddy. I have to agree. Josh Denny is fantastic. I like him on your show when I can hear what he's saying. Oh, what do you mean? You couldn't hear him? Oh, there's another guy in there making a lot of noise. By the way, I noticed something about you, dick. I don't know. I'm making a lot of noise. It's my shot.

Not you, not you, buddy. Well, there was also there. It was me, Josh. Sean wasn't there. No. I don't think Ethan Rolf realizes that you liking him is a bit because it's not a bit. It's not a bit.

It's not a bit. It's not a bit. It's not a bit. It's not a bit. No, eat the fritale, it's funny. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I listen to his show every day. It's hilarious. He's hilarious.

It's not a bit. I like it. I like it. I listen to it. Sorry, I'm not too tired to break down the fourth. It's funny. It's good. No, it's not a bit.

Carl, were you aware that the Ethan Ralph haters have declared November, no Ralph November? Can it just be like no Ralph 2023? Can we expect we just one month? Yeah. I can't believe you. Ralph is winning so much that all the people who like hate him online all day, every day, have declared that they're not going to talk about him in November.

Okay. They're just going to totally ignore him. I don't even hate Ethan Ralf. I just, it just annoys me when he fucks up shows I enjoy that's all. Well, at least his audio works. Why is mine shitty? Talking about your live show. That was a funny story. Oh, fuck, dude.

Dude, I was telling this story a little bit on the bonus show. Great bonus show, by the way. I was talking about it a bunch on my show. Yeah, I guess we can. Lorenzo Areola is the guy's name. Right. Okay. He was fantastic.

I like him a lot. So yeah, I did a live show in New York City. I was very excited to have Brian Johnson from Tom Steve Day. We had Eric Nagel, E-Rock, the producer of the Open Anthony show. We had Anthony himself. Anthony Kumiya from the Open Anthony show. All my guys are all there. And I get up there and my computer dies on me.

And it was so brutal. I spent 30 to 40 minutes troubleshooting my computer while Anthony and company are tap dancing on stage and trying to keep people entertained. I'm in a phenomenal job. Thank God. It always takes about 40 minutes. It took us 30, but it took me about 40 minutes today.

It's a big computer. Fucking brutal. Oh, yeah. Off. It's just as painful the second time. Yeah. Thankfully's just his painful second time. Yeah. Thankfully, I had, we had this whole bit for the end of the show planned out. It was called the dabble battle.

Now we like to make fun of Stuttering John. And so we were going to have people do Stuttering John impressions. I'm kind of like a roast battle style. So it's like brackets, one B1. Can everyone do a Stuttering John impression? Everyone does a Stuttering John. Too cool. It's great. Yeah, I was on. I stuttering John impression. Everyone does a stuttering John. Just great. Is it?

Yeah, I was on. I was on Kurt Metzinger's show with Comey. And he like did a five minute like he just, he just, it just comes out of him because he knows him so well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, guys. No, he does have it. Yeah, yeah. Well, he, what Anthony does is already Lang's version of stuttering John, which is fantastic.

That makes sense. He knows them very well. Yeah. But anyway, thankfully, Anthony's girlfriend, Missy B, was running the dabble battle. We had written out all these things for people to say on note cards. So they were coming up and they were reading these lines and doing it as Centering John Impression. So that part actually ended going very well.

And thankfully, that was the whole time I was like troubleshooting my computer and trying to figure things out. Yeah. I didn't have that. That would have been a rough. Oh, God. Okay, so I would have gotten about 15 minutes into that and then just picked up the computer and just started bashing it until it fucking just came apart. That's like the podcast version of smashing your guitar on stage. Podcasts do a show. We just smash your computer. Do it like me. You should be just sort of set it out and fire it.

We should do that. What are we going to do at the, let's spend for our show. I know we talked about doing that crossover live show on the bonus episode. We should just do 40 minutes of audio setup. Like they should give us, still in the clamshell, like computers and stuff, and feel like, okay, go ahead. Set up your account, input your data,

get your track back setup, get the audio track in a second. See who can do it first. Torture. You're making jokes, but so what I had to do is I had to swap computers with producer Chris' computer. I literally was downloading software that I needed to run the show on stage. I'm an audience. I'm like Chris, I need your password real quick and you help me. Holy shit. It's brutal. How's the setter? Oh yeah, yeah, the live show too.

Let's talk about the live show. So we want to do a dick show where these podcasts cross over. Yeah. And we haven't picked a date or a destination yet. Good, good. That's awesome. At least we got the first part. We want to do a crossover. We want to do it. We're going to do it.

Maybe we should do Detroit. I sent Carly, what did I send you? An 8,000 person theater or something like that? And Detroit, you can get it for 20 bucks. Yeah, it was a pretty good deal. Just a fucking crackhead outside watching balls. You got to put tape on them. Yeah, yeah was pretty good deal. Just like fucking crackhead outside watching balls. You got to put tape on them. Yeah, it's so, I don't know if you're joking.

We actually sold out Detroit just a few weeks ago. Okay, we have a pretty big following in Detroit. So that wouldn't be the worst place to go. Oh, figures. That figures. Yeah, let's give it a couple of months. I don't want to step on Ralph Amania, which I'm also going to be at Ralph's wrestling event. Really?

Yeah. What is that? And where is that? It's January and New Jersey. New Jersey. Alex Stein is going to fight a woman. Oh, really? Yeah, you know, that guy Alex Stein, that comedian. He's going to wrestle a woman. I'm hanging out with Andy Kaufman thing going on. I'm hanging out with Alex Stein this weekend. I'm going to wrestle a one. I'm hanging out with Andy Kaufman thing going on. I'm hanging out with Alex Dine this weekend. I'm going to be part of Chrissy Mayer's content house.

We're going to do 48 hours of straight streaming from a content house out of Orlando, Florida. There's going to be Alex Dine, Gino Biscotti, Anthony Gumiya, Chrissy. I'll be there. I'll bunch other content creators, Olyfang Girls. Oh, what? All the fans do? Yeah. I'll be there a whole bunch of other content creators, only fan girls, all sorts of answers. Oh, the fan girls too. Yeah.

So you're gonna have to not stare at their tits for 48 hours, because that's gonna get clad their tits. Oh, okay. And do it immediately, get out of the way. Yeah, all right. What the hell is a content outlet? What the hell is a content outlet? So Chrissy's doing this thing where she gets all these content creators,

this house is like 12 bedrooms is insane. Okay, I know. The whole thing in she gets all these content creators. This house is like 12 bedrooms insane. Okay. All staying in this house for the whole weekend. Yeah. And she's just going to stream for 40 hours straight. It's people to just like different shifts. And I'm going to do a who are these podcasts episode while we're there. And we're just going to do shifts for two days straight.

And you can watch on YouTube and we have a sponsor and super chat or whatever's going on. That's right. Carl's in like hour 45. That's where he started tonight. That's where he started tonight. Is something like that. He's been up for.

Yeah. I'm my usual slot 2 p.m. on Saturday, 2 p.m. Eastern. Oh, nice. That's what I'm doing in my show. Are there any male porn stars there? Not that I know of. Oh, good, good. That'll be horrible.

All the men are comedians. I'm looking forward to meeting Alex. The opposite. He's the great. You haven't met him? I mean, he's been on my show before, but I've never met him in real life. So, I'm a super high energy. I don't know how, why he's in such a good mood all the time.

Because he's killing it. I don't know. That's not the good news. It's not the worst then. Yeah. He's always in It's not worse than now. Fair enough. He's always in a good mood, always up. I don't, I don't get it.

Do they fill me while you're sleeping at the conhen house? In case you do any content at night. That's a good question. I assume they won't, but I shouldn't assume that. I don't know. I wouldn't assume anything in something called the content house. Are you going to do any pranks? Well, no.

Should I probably should, huh? I didn't really thought about it yet. I still have other things to play before that. I would have a show to do. Like, should I have someone to brush up your ass or something like that? Oh, man. That's a pretty funny prank. Yeah, the show's a video over the next morning.

hilarious. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, that shows the video over the next morning. hilarious. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh my God, dude. Are there chargers? I don't know. It's a prank. What is it? What is a prank anymore?

The lines are blurred between, you know, object cruelty and a prank. Just throw milk everywhere. That's always a good prank. Throw milk everywhere. Like, milk jugs. Just throw them all over, kick them around and stuff. All right. Yeah. I don't know if that's them around and stuff. All right. Yeah.

I don't know if that's a prank. It's a thing. Yeah, it's a prank. Check out this milk. Pa. Um, okay. Anyway, where are we going to do this? What are we going to do for a show?

All right, so for the live show, we actually talked about Philly as a potential destination. We did. That was your first road rage, right? Philly, what was the truck? What was the truck? The truck. It's truck down now, though. Yeah, truck.

It's shut down. It's shut down. Yeah. Is Vinny gonna come? It's a nice place. Oh, if Vinny gets a word that we're doing, it'll be there once I want him to or not. I guarantee you that. No, actually, it's funny.

You say that I was thinking that Vinny's been on a couple of our crossovers. I definitely thought we should get him involved. And probably some other people too. I want to turn into not just like a super long crossover episode. We should do some different things with that. Yeah. You want to do like a, do you want to play a concert the night before? I did that when we were in Detroit, the ice of the elves by band, the ice of Tulips played. We did the live show

Friday night with Horie's podcast. I still played Saturday night. And it was cool. It was a lot. But that was cool. Sounds like a lot. That's a lot. All right. Hey, did you hear? I was going to talk about that Alex Jones thing. I forgot to cover that at the beginning. You see he's getting sued for infinity money. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Did you see that, Sean? Well, infinity money.

Well, I know the judgments and stuff is kind of infinity money, right? Yeah. A trillion dollars. He's getting sued. Well, aren't you supposed to? A new trillion. Yeah, it's another trillion dollar.

The parents aren't done. I realize that we all want to punish Alex Jones and that he should never be allowed to talk ever again. But shooting the damages be based on some type of reality. So he didn't murder these people's children. And even if he did, that would still be too much money. Right. Just based on legal precedent. They generally put you in prison as opposed to, you know, yeah was supposed to see you for $11 million. I'm kind of angry at the parents because now I have to like a little bit of me Has to feel happy that their kids got killed like because there's such pieces of shit I don't want to feel like that. I don't like I didn't come up with that feeling and put it in me

They put that devil in me Yes, they're fucking greed and they're wrath. They did that to me. So now I, now I just have to sit with this. And every time there's a school shooting, I'm like, well, here we go. Right. Another fucking million dollar, billion dollar lawsuit. Dick is another victim, just like the kids.

I should do that. Maybe worse. Yes, I think so. Unless I'm gonna say this, yeah, go ahead. Because I'm on the spicy take show. So I'm gonna say this, I want to say this. Yeah, go ahead. Because I'm on the spicy take show. So I'm going to say this, the thing that people don't realize about Sandy Hook is that Alex Jones wasn't the only person saying this. Well, of course not.

Yes, Alex Jones definitely was pushing that narrative. Yeah, I would say all over the internet. I mean, I was like, that guy laughing. He's like, yeah, that's fake. He's making it. Yeah, there was nothing only conspiracy theorist out there I mean it was all over the internet. There was video evidence that it seemed like maybe there were crisis Actors a lot about that they like torn on the school so that you couldn't even go check to see what the

We're shit So I mean Alex Jones was not the only person saying No, I'm sure he wasn't the only person by a long shot. It's fun though. Like, it's a fun way of coping. I mean, for my mental health, I need to cope with tragedies and pretend that it's a fucking elaborate hoax, right? What do you want me to believe that a bunch of kids got massacred

or that it was a big hoax and that they're actually still alive? Because I need that for my fucking mental health, right? So yeah, okay. How are we doing awareness for mental health? They're not. I need to for my fucking mental out. Right? So yeah, okay, we're doing awareness for mental health. They're not. I need the deep state. You're not. Yeah. Then Kanye is getting sued for infinity money too. There's a knock. Oh, is that Pony? Honey, can you get the job? I should probably sleep in fuck. Let me see. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You should probably sleep in fuck. I mean, there's another one in this door. I get this door.

Oh, okay. I'll let her in. She was supposed to be out when I was there in studio and I missed out. We're not gonna car all right now. Who's about to lose this video? Why is he about to lose his video? What's up?

Why is he about to lose his video? Because everyone would rather see Pony than him. Yeah, I'll sacrifice that. That's fine. Gotcha. Carl, did you see that AI of you? Yes, that was awesome. You did?

Yeah, I liked it. I enjoyed that. Pony, this is normal. Here you go, here's some headphones. This is Carl Hamburger's. Hi, Carl Hamburger's. He runs a very successful show where he runs a very successful hamburger store. Yeah. He makes fun of other podcasts. Oh, make fun of my podcast. I like it. I will. I'm a big fan of yours. Hi, nice to meet

you. I wasn't out in LA about a month ago. The only thing I asked to do is make sure that you were going to be on the show with me and he fucked it up. So it's just me and Vito. I got to hang out with Vito instead. That was a treat. Was that last week? I had to cancel last week.

Was that last week? I know. It wasn't last week. It was about a month ago. Two weeks ago, well, you were going to be on two weeks ago, I think, right? No, last week. It was about a month ago. Two weeks ago for, well, you're going to be on two weeks ago, I think, right? No, last week. You missed out on last week. There was two incredible podcasts. I'm like, Carl, you'll agree with me that both of that they're two legendary podcasts.

Carl's their biggest fan. He's, you know, he loves the great. I keep telling you that. Josh, daddy is great. Have you mentioned on the podcast that I was supposed to be there, but I like didn't make it? Yeah, I react to everything live. Because you did like 45 minutes on it.

See, we have this thing called the wage gap. Do you have you heard of it? Yeah. It's this invisible monster that when women have appointments to things, the monster comes and gobbles them up so that they don't show up. And that's the wage gap. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. No.

Oh, that's what I do. Yeah, that's what, but you're here now. Yeah. No, I just didn't get that. It's not a moment too soon. I had a few people message me on like, comment on my picture. I was like, why didn't you show up?

Like, what happened? Why were you there? I was like, I was very hung over you guys. Oh, how hung over, I was like, why didn't you show up? Like, what happened? Why were you there? I was like, I was very hungover, you guys. Oh, how hungover. I was very hung. Damn, that's straight honesty. That doesn't happen on this show very much. Not from him anyway.

What the hell is that supposed to be? By the way, what do you think about my, do you think that I look more in shape than I did? Thank you. I'm glad you said so. Yeah, and I just thought you and gave you a hug. I was like, wait, you look great. Thank you. You met me.

You're like a little tiny, tiny, little bit of gut going on, but it's gone now, proud of you. Okay, that was because he fixed his back. My back. That was supposed to be a compliment. No, wasn't. But I noticed his tiny face, though. Just see how small his face is.

Damn. I'm fortunate to be the rest of it. Yeah, I'm confident. Got a fighter. He's jealous of the hug. That's why he's saying that. He heard about the hug. He's very jealous.

A little bit. A little bit. More, we, oh yeah, we're talking about Kanye's getting sued for 11, for millions of dollars by George Floyd's daughter or something. Right. Because he said about the fentanyl that took him. But then he gave that, did you know he gave that little girl two million bucks? No, a Kanye gave before like right when it happened.

I didn't know that. Right when George, oh, did on police brutality. Yeah. Yeah, I switched it up on you. Very good. Very good. Very good.

But I guess no good deed goes on punish, right? Poor guy. Well, he just needs to tweet that as a reminder, probably. I did. $2 million. Yeah, he gave you $2 million. Right. What do you want?

Just a blood out here. What do you really suck at? You want the blood out of my, yeah. So that's the new precedent. If you don't like, yes. If you don't like what somebody says, go ahead, go.

For more money, they could possibly ever have, just to make sure that they can't do anything. I've worked their lives ever gotten. And I just want to say, listen, we elected Trump. That was a fun four years. We all had a blast. Let's select Yay in 2024. I am all for it. Oh, God. I would die for you. I would vote for you over Trump. You've always been on Yay. I already got a yard sign. Are you talking about heroin? Are you talking about heroin? You have a yard sign? What is it? Yay for president. 2024. I'm all in. What do you think about yay, Pony? Um, definitely wouldn't vote for him for? To be a rapper.

There's no vote for that. There's no vote for that. I think that's the only appropriate thing really for him to do. But he's also a fashion icon. You know what I, there's what I don't, okay. Fashion and rap, that's it. Like I'm not even really sure he should have social media access.

But he knows about Kavassia as well. He has some sort of Kavasiya label. He was talking about them. That's a show. Yeah. I'll probably get canceled for hate speech again. Last episode that I did got removed from YouTube for hate speech. I'm gonna get a strike.

This one might be too. I'm sorry. I'm obviously not staying again. So that's what I'm getting. I love that during Kanye's whole speech about, oh, Jace, the juice, is he gonna do another three-hour interview about how dumb it is to blow all of your money on designer labels and Kavasiya

and all this shit that he's always pimping out to the black community? Do you know what I mean? No, we're in the hole of the juice or taking our money and it's like, all right, well, you're here representing Louis Vuitton and Valenciaga to people that you know can't afford it. Anyway. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I think he's a little bit hypocritical. I was trying to say that. I mean, I don't know. He's got to spread the racism around a little bit. Like, where's that rant? What makes you a rage, Carl?

Well, it makes me a rage is that I live in upstate New York. Right. It is 75 degrees in sunny. All my friends are out at an outdoor bar right now enjoying themselves. I'm in my basement on this show to promote a live show we haven't booked yet. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

This is insane. But check out patreon.com slash govies podcast. That's what it was to get the crossover episodes. I heard you forgetting that. Yeah, I don't know why this show is on Sunday. You don't know why it's on Sunday. It's just so inconvenient. I literally like I was on my friends birthday last night and I left at 12 30 at night because I was like

I don't want to cancel tomorrow again Responsible I was like why isn't it on a fucking Tuesday or something? Now you got to go to church on Sunday. You can't well it releases on Tuesday I guess that bring bring bring your friend which friend was this the pegging one? No. Okay. Which friend was that? I should've been in Europe.

Of course. All right, look it out here. I just want to say we want to do a live show with the crossover. I'm looking forward to it. Let us know where we should go. Give us your suggestions for studies and we'll definitely get pulled this together

and I won't fuck it up this time. Okay, Carla, are you gonna do no Ralph November or are you gonna do like me non stop Ralph November? I got four. I can very easily not talk about Ralph for 30 days straight. I'm not. I'm not. I fucking don't. If it was no Stuttering John November or no chance, you mock November, I'd have a hard

time, but Ralph, no problem. Is he gonna sue you? Ralph? Suttering John. No, he has no money. He's gonna send me that season to Sist. I sent him a letter back saying, what are you gonna do? He's done nothing since, and he's got nothing.

Yeah. Oh, well, fuck him. I keep rooting for it, but it's just not gonna happen. Yeah. Okay, Carl. I think it's gonna enjoy your party. Thanks for calling. Thank you. Yeah.

Bye. Why are you the only one who gets beers here? You want a beer? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Can I go grab it?

Uh, yes, you should. Okay. Is it in the fridge? It's in the fridge upstairs. It's only to Coddies. Can you grab me like two or three? Right now Dick is mentally counting how many beers he has. No, I'm good.

Thanks. Okay. How many he has and how he's like, I'll let her have one, but two, I don't think I wanted to have two because I'm gonna need this for later. He's laughing because it's true. No, I'm laughing because I have what I give to the audience, Sean. Well, because of what you gave to the audience.

Give to the audience. What you give to the audience? Yeah, okay. Just want everyone to sit back, especially if you're watching the video at patreon.com slash the big dick show. You're a giver. And appreciate me. Yeah.

Everything that I do. I appreciate you. Thank you. Yeah. And I bet you do. Uh-huh. Okay. Oh God, let's talk about Chris the Kiwi.

Okay. What's he up to? I'm with Fonny to get back. Oh, really? Is this spicy? I mean, it's funny. What's he, what's he up to? I'll wait for honey to get back. Oh really? Is this spicy? I mean, it's funny. Is there a bit? It's okay. Me and him are on good terms right now. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he called in not long ago. Yeah. Yeah. He can't stay away, I think.

Can you believe that Pokemon battle that I had? It's pretty impressive. Thanks. Oh God, with a busted ass deck cost me 20 bucks this close. Total annihilation. Can you imagine how much I would have suffered for the rest of my life? That this little fuck beat me first try two out of two times. And I'm just sitting there with my dick in my hand with this $20 deck. You know, all these resources and I show up, I would have never lived that down.

Thank God. No one will question him losing. I would have never lived that down. Thank you so much, Pawnee. Of course. Okay, let's find some, let's talk about Chris the Kiwi. He asked, he asked me if he thought he had a chance with Amor Rant.

Is that the guy that, like, messages, like, only fan girls or whatever? Prostitutes. Yeah. Yeah, and any women. Okay. He's, all he does all day is sit online and message. Sounds like a very fulfilling life. It's richer than you can possibly imagine. What do you mean? Let's see, here's what I'll read what a, he recently said to a hooker.

These are, these are always just choice. Okay, thanks. Sorry, I didn't mean cheers. Cheers. Sorry that you left your friends party early. No, it's okay. I was ready to leave. I was like, I came. I saw I'm out of here. You went to Ranny recently too, right? Yeah, we'll talk about that after this.

Don't you think that they should just put the job on? On? Yeah. Fuck that shit. I don't wanna put anything on my body, I don't want to. Don't choose for me. Okay, I think they're quite entertaining. It's good that you don't judge.

Just be careful as the police reports show up and are traced to your number in name. Good night. He says, I'm not a bad person. Just misunderstood. I guess you judge people on hearsay. That's silly. Here here is this is the turn.

This is the turn. So prostitutes in Australia have like a prostitute like a secret message board that they can warn each other about this guy. Only for this guy. Other guys too. Wow. Basically him. And so he always has to talk prostitutes out of paying attention to that site.

Right. Oh my God. Oh my God. This guy needs to like pick up a hobby. I think this is it. prostitutes are his hobby. I guess you judge people on here say that silly. The comments have screenshots of your conversation.

Okay, anyway nice. How do you buy? I'm gonna guess that's not over. Again, I'm not judging you. I just don't take clients that are reported repeatedly. Have a good night. Why don't you respond to that? I know. Why are you even like in Gage? Like you know, this is the guy that everyone's been warning have a good night. Why don't you respond to that? I know.

Why even like in gauge? Like you know this is the guy that everyone's been warning you not to talk. Why are you even having a conversation? Yeah, why do they do that? They always... She's fucked up and is afraid that he's actually a little mad at her. Like that's... That's why she responds.

That's... She doesn't want him to think that she's like a bad person. She wants to leave it like... Wow, maybe. What do you think that she's like a bad person. Like she wants to leave it like, wow, maybe. What do you think it is? Look at this one. That person does. Look, yeah, exactly.

Like let's take a hooker, right? That's probably someone who doesn't make very good decisions for herself, and maybe this is just one of them. Yeah, it's funny how. Do you do that? Like if a guy messages you, and it's like, I want to keep you in an cage and under my bed, I'm sorry you're on a board. Yeah, do's funny. How do you do that? Like if a guy Messages you and it's like I want to keep you in a cage and under my bed. I'm sorry. You're on a board Yeah, do you message back? How much now I'm kidding?

a lot Let me see how many Pokemon I can't say okay Do you get a lot of lines from the show from guys? I'm doing good lines. They're all very nice and polite and respectful all the messages I've gone from people from this show have been just nothing but just absolutely nice. Good job boys. Just never be yourself.

I thought you well. I actually believe that from this show. Do they want to have a lot of deep conversations about things with the uncle? No. But to go back to your question, I used to do modeling and I would sometimes get inquiry that would be like, hey, for a bonded shoot, right? So it would still be a shoot.

It's not to have sex or anything, but I would just still never respond to that. No camera, like hidden camera, bonded shoot. She's come over. No, actual camera, it's a photo shoot. Sure, and then. But it's a bondage photo shoot, but I would just be like me.

Okay, Chris says, your Kelly and married. She says, I've seen quite a few reports about you. Sorry, I won't take you as a client, but I hope you have a good night and enjoy your week X totally leading him on. And then, no, I'm not being exactly. Right, and then why even if he's two of these, it's not just hookers either.

All chicks are always doing this, you're like, can you believe this psycho? And looking at us like, why are you still responding? Well, yeah, I agree with you. If my friend like shows me like, hey, there's this guy that's like, this and this and this. I'm like, then what did you go on? So I'm gonna come and see her with it.

Oh, by the way, no, I'm not married. It's like. And I'm ovulating. Revealers? Yeah, that was a pretty quick look. was pretty quick look up just out of interest She's done this before just out of interest Dude he's like he's like a hormone-grain Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, you can see him a b testing. Oh Exko in the him a b testing. Oh, that's going to matter. Like he tests a b tests them like a fucking

private like if he worked in information security, he'd be the best on the planet. I know right. He's always testing. But he should just be poking him. He's just trying to figure women out. Well, what the good? What the good? With the good comes the bad, which is why he's using his skills for this. Wow. Okay, just out of interest are all those reports?

Are there any more? Can you please send them to me? There are 74. Oh my God. Wow. And this, this board is probably 74. It's probably been up for like maybe like a year. Oh no, he sent me some information,

but this is email number one. He message me last night asking me if, you know who Amarante is? No. She's the biggest streamer on the planet, I think. What is she's stream? herself in a hot tub. And a big streamer.

Why would I even know her? Well, I mean, I know. Why do you think I would sit there and watch that guy? She's on, she's always in like internet news. Yeah. Like she's a big streamer. I would. Maybe you know some celebrities.

I don't know. That's the name she goes by. Hammer Rance. Yeah. Jayla girl up. She hot? Yeah. I don't, she's mid, I don't know. That's the name she goes by. Hammer Rance. Jaila grow up. She hot. Yeah, I don't, she's mid, I think. Okay.

Yeah, let me know. She's funny things. Nice hot up though, right? She does now. Like if you, if you're a hot guy with a skinny, you're not looking at you. Yeah, hot up. Like if you're saying a bikini and a hot tub,

but then you like set some funny shit, like that would be fun to watch. I would watch that if there's like a hot girl or you. Oh girl. Oh girl I roll shit Not yet. Okay, wait. What am I looking up? Oh, what's her name? Amorant AMOU R-A-N-T-H I didn't even go through my notes

They're even make these notes comes up. Amorant. And then there's a plant called Emory and. Here, let me just pull her up right here. How does she not lead the fucking search rankings? Right. Emory and this stuff. Oh, with a U. That's a cool name, Emory and. That's a cool name. Oh.

Hmm. Let's get some videos. Says videos and then clicks on images. Finds great to see you again. Okay, here's her doing her hot tub stream, shit. Okay. Yeah. I mean, anything you do as a producer or an underwear, you're gonna get seen.

It just annoys me so much because you know that her tits aren't this big. Like this bikini does, yeah, does not match the size of her tits. I know. How many years did I take you to learn that? 42. You seem so proud of the knowledge you just shared. He is. Yeah.

I'm like that guy in glorious bastards, right? Which guy? You know, I watched that movie. The O.J. Simpson Hunter, or Christophe Waltz. What were you going to say? My ex made me watch that movie with his whole family in New Orleans. He's no good. That guy was no good too.

I thought it was going to be a great movie because the name is so bomb and it's like Quentin Tarantino, but I don't know. You didn't like it? I don't think I got it. I don't think I got it. I don't think I fully understood. Like I think it was like people and we weren't talking. I don't think I, but it was boring. It was a little long.

It was long. Tarantino makes longer and longer movies and like he's fallen in love with every frame he's ever shot. So he's incapable of editing. Yeah. I'm a fan. I like his work. It has good scenes in it. Yeah. It's kind of long. Django, Paul Fiction. Django, I just stop when they kill that guy. As soon as Chris Stuff Waltz gets killed in that, I'm,

I'm here. This movie's okay. Yeah. Yeah. He was great. And we got that meme out of it. That yeah. Right, isn't it? The lean art of capric? Okay, anyway, no, no, no, that's the great Gatsby. The one that he likes. So Luke wanted, but the one where he's like, oh, yeah, he's the Southern Joe. He's like, yeah.

You know that one? The cigarette? Yeah, I think so, yeah. So Amarance, she got chewed out by her husband. Like, what do you mean shoot out? A chewed out. Oh, chewed out. That's Anglore's bachelor's reference.

I want to click. She got yelled. No, she just got yelled at. Oh, okay. She has a husband. Right? What would you, he would be kind of upset by? What do you imagine?

What do you envision her husband to be like, a person all the wise? A pimp. Like I just imagine like a black guy in a technical dream go going like, bitch, but I'm like, give that guy that fucking bitch. See that dream, because I imagine the opposite. I imagine it's like scrawny, like little white dude that like doesn't know how to like match up her level.

And she does one of the fuck she wants. And you get no say. Do you see how many of them? I want to go naked on the camera. And there's nothing you can do about it. And she's like, okay, babe, whatever you want. And then as she's streaming, she's like, do you want me to bring you anything?

Do you want me to set the camera? Like that's what I'm imagining. But why would she with them? That's like AOC's has been. Why would she with them in the first place? Did he have money, you think? No, I think he has a really kind soul and he gets her, you know? But then she doesn't give it, but she doesn't give a fuck.

And he's probably funny. Probably funny. He makes her laugh. Anyway, Chris the Kiwi, the guy, Jessica Rabbit, he makes me laugh. Yeah, the guy who's, the guy. That's enough. That's equivalent to being a millionaire. Really?

Funny as a guy. Is definitely equivalent to being a millionaire. But not the kind of guy that you can tell he's like trying to be funny, because that's just annoying. Okay. You just gotta let it, oh, he just has to be natural like me.

You can't make it be. It just has to be natural. You have gotta let it, oh, it just has to be natural, like me. It just has to be natural. It has to be natural, it's funny. You have to be very naturally quick and witty. I'm not a professional comedian, no matter what, you know, the show says. I'm just naturally, I don't know if you're actually saying. I'm not saying you guys are funny.

Like Gallagher, just naturally exudes funny. I don't know what it is. He smashed watermelons with a sledgehammer. You remember that? Is that funny? Like, caratop? I don't know. Oh shit.

Good. All right. Christa Kiwi asked if he thought I had a shot with her. Yeah. The guy with 74 violations on the prostitute. Right. If you have a shot or he does. He does.

And I said, no. He just doesn't bother them or is he actually trying to get them? I am pregnant. Oh, he is. Yes. There are 74. No, sorry.

I'm not meant to share them. I just wanted you to know why I won't see you. Okay. Uh-huh. I remember you, he says, you were a bitch to me. This is continued. This is another one. Ithuh. I remember you, he says, you were a bitch to me. This is continued. This is another one. It's not a conversation opener, right?

It is. I remember you, you were a bitch to me. I think that's a great opener. Ah! I like that. I would respond to that. That would get my attention. And she's gonna have to defend herself

and make him see that she's not such a bad person. I would just be like, what did you do to deserve it? Tell me, remind me, because I obviously don't remember you. Oh, it is. What do you really us as open her? Yeah, I remember you. You're a bitch to me. Hey, what would they have to have done for you to be a bitch to them?

Make you wear a job. Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry. So we have met, wouldn't describe myself as such, but I'm sorry if I can't, oh my God, it worked. Oh, no, no. It's a fucking word. It's a weak answer.

Yeah. It's a weak, weak answer. What are you apologizing? He's already back on our heels. I'm sorry if I, it came across that way. She might not know that he has 74 reports yet. No, once a client, right? Oh, well, I'm Chris.

Oh, well. Oh, forget it. I haven't met you as an escort though. I have met you as a stalker. Yeah, oh, okay. Just not as an escort. Okay, well. Wait, where does it go?

Why is it crossed? I think it's started. I'm invested. Here's my, he's very difficult to wrangle. You know what we should do? You should have him text me. Well, he'll tell my dog getting to call in right now. Hold on.

Let me see it. I have some fun with that. You say that now. Who did he tell that he was going to cut their tits off? Was it Dr. Fuck Dr. Girlfriend? Was it Dr. Nurse? Don't fuck with my tits Speechless. Yeah, did you see the AI that they made of you? Yeah. Yeah. What did you think?

I was sorry and multiple people messaged me and said you should make that your profile picture. I was like, really? You guys like it that much. I'm trying to find the guy who made it. Was it Mr. Meatball? No. Here it was. Maddie Ray.

Look, Sean. This guy's eating Ray. Yeah. He's doing veto. He did a bunch of you, Pawnee. Yeah, this is Carl. I only saw one. Well, I sent you the best one. Yours looks like Tarzan. It's kind of you, Pony. Yeah, this is Carl. I only saw one. Well, I sent you the best one.

Yours looks like Tarzan, it's kind of cute, actually. Like the, like, did you see the animation? Tarzan, not the movie. Like the cartoon. The Disney one? Yeah. Yeah. I'm probably a little bit even more muscular than that.

Version of Tarzan. I don't know, he climbs trees. You sit behind a mic. I don't know. Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, that's he did behind a mic. I don't know. Ah! Ah! Oh, that's he did 80s girl. Yeah, that's fine.

Shit, I'm not going like that. Uh, let's see here. Maybe he just posted it. Shit. It's on the drive. What was I doing? Oh yeah, I'm trying to get him to call in. Right.

Okay, come on, Chris, the Cuey. By the way, those are the news. That's the news for today. Should I read? Yeah. Yeah, read us some news while I try to get this guy out. This is a lot. A lot of weight. I made the font as big as possible.

No, but what? Front and back. One, two, three, four, five pages. I'm sorry, you don't have to read all of it. All right. Kanye West dropped by Balenciaga. And no one associate of Kanye West posted a video of a group apparently handing out the artist and famous White Lives Matter

shirts to people living on Skid Row. Wow, what a thing to do. In the video, someone could be heard shouting courtesy of Kanye West. They dropped off a big box here. It's good to see ya. What's that from? What movie is that from? Curdice, yeah. I don't know. They drop off a big box here. What's that from? What movie is that from?

Curtis ZM. I don't know. I'm feeling like, did you guys ever watch Infinity War, Marvel? Yeah. And it's like when Thanos' people go to each planet, they're like, you should be grateful that you get to die by Thanos. Yeah. Like, this is the courtesy of Thanos.

It's kind of giving me like the same vibe. That's the kind of guy. Yeah, if I, that's awesome. That would be a great, Thanos would be a great president. I would so vote for Thanos. I would do it in a heartbeat. Why? I love that.

Thanos is daddy. Daddy. I mean that when I say that. I love that man and he doesn't even know that. Is it a sense of humor? He's just hot. Is it because he hasn't seen with the little girl where he's like, instruction?

No, that's what I think that's what it is. I told you I'm a woman hunter. I've been 42 years of studying your kind. Your kind. Fucking David out and bar over here. His lines are just great. And he has a mission and he's strong-minded. Smart.

I love it. Doesn't matter what the mission is. Of course not. Of course not. I know this is highly controversial. Okay, you don't want to start this debate with me right now. Oh, what are you kidding me? I think every other person, she can kill.

The banner's debate. Let's hear it. I think it's great. Stopped halfway. You're talking about killing half of the people. I would kill the baby. Yeah, let's hear it. I think it's good. Stop half way. You're talking about killing half of the people. I would kill the universe. I'm not. Most people I meet every day.

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I got to meet the other ones again. Like, oh, yeah, you two, yeah. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but sometimes he has a mission and it seems like it would work. From his perspective, he's doing the right thing. I'm not saying it's the right thing,

but from what he thinks, it seems to be the right thing. And he explains his perspective, and you're like, yeah, it kind of makes sense. When he explained it, I was kind of like, you're supposed to go like, no, that's horrible. Like, yeah, I was like, oh, yeah, I see his point. Same. I started going, I mean, like it's...

When that movie in front of the war ended, I loved how it ended so much because you never get to see a movie where like the bad guy or the villain gets to win at the end. It's always the good guys that win. Everybody was so bummed out in the movie. And I was the only one. I was like, fuck, yeah, I love this. I love this.

So I probably watched it like 14 times. Star Wars 2. That's a bad guy's win. I've never watched it like 14 times. We're star wars too. That was a bad guys when. I've never watched it. You never watched the original Star Wars thing. You don't like Star Wars at all. I'm waiting to date a guy who's like so into Star Wars. No, no.

Sorry, sorry. Say the first part again. You said waiting to date a guy? I'm like saving, watching Star Wars for the time when I'm like dating someone who's so into it and is like so excited to show me. And then I'll be like, okay, I'll watch it with you. Like I wouldn't want to watch that by myself. I wouldn't want to watch Star Wars by myself.

See, saving your Star Wars virginity for marriage. I'm speechless. Funny, I love Star Wars. More than life. Yeah. Yeah, Star Wars draw words. More than life. Yeah. Yeah, draw was. We should watch it together. Yeah, we should watch. Anyways, they, where was I?

They dropped off a big box here and told everyone to come here to pick them up. Said, resident Stephanie Arnold Williams. I was like this is not a good spot. I don't think you should bring them here. The anti-definition league has caught the phrase what lives matter hate speech. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, off a hate speech with all these homeless people, with all these homeless drug addicts. Can you believe he would do that?

John, can you believe that Kanye would drop off hate t-shirts with all these homeless drug addicts in the middle of the street? How dare he? He's trying to get him new shirts. How dare he turn all of these homeless derelicts and truck abusers and victims of this awful system into promoters of his hateful t-shirts.

It's just like fucking insane. Are they his hateful t-shirts? Well, I already know your position in this whole thing. I actually kinda agree. Yeah, what do you agree with? It's just such a sensitive topic to talk about. Like the whole, you know, how George Floyd really died. Oh yeah.

Like I definitely have my own beliefs. I don't know if I really want to talk about all of them. Oh yeah. I think they cop killed them. I think he had done some fentanyl. A lot of it. A lot of fentanyl. There was two grams of fentanyl found in his blood

drink. Do you know? Two hundred grams, not two grams. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a two in the background. No, no, no, no. It's so hard to sort it out to sort out all the details. I've never really taken a deep dive into it. No, because there's also a bunch of lies about fentanyl, like cops, cops who are just pretending to have like, oh, geez, I'm touching it. I can are pretending to see Narnia because they like, because someone said, fentanyl in their ear and they're like,

oh my God. I'm dying. That's like, that's not that much of an exaggeration with some of the bullshit out there. Yeah, they're pretending that fentanyl is like a magical spell, but it's not. But it kills you, it does kill you. Oh, it kills you.

Like a tiny bit of it can cause extreme amounts to harm to your body. Like a tiny tiny bit of it. For sure, but where we have to draw the line is that like you touch it and you OD on it. Like that's not true. Yeah, that's people think that, but there's, it's being put out there as if that can actually happen. So I know. But you can OD the first time you use it.

I've watched interviews with people who have been like, oh, six times. Six times, six times that can't stop. Yes! Ah! This is my dream, Bonnie. Didn't you increase the keyway on it the same time? Yes!

I don't know. I'm Taylor Kahn. I don't know how this is gonna go. Just tell me you've read all the reports. Oh, yeah, I put him back on his heels. He'll love it. Come on, baby. Take a day.

Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna call you on my computer, okay? Just give me one second. He has your phone number? No, I have Skype on my phone. Oh, what on my computer, okay? Just give me one second. He has your phone number? No, I have Skype on my phone. Oh. What are you jealous, Sean? Oh, I'm fine.

Be shocked. Hello, fuck what you do now. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bing bong bing. Bing bong bing. Bing bong bing. You don't pick up. Why not zoom?

Uh, um, he uses Skype. Why not zoom up? He uses Skype. Why? You'll say, I want to know. He don't have to go out on a new scene of opportunities. There he is. Hey, what's up, buddy? Hey, it's a guy.

How you doing? You want it? Can you see? Go ahead. He can't talk. Yeah, I can see you. He can't talk. Yeah, I can see you. You can see Pony. Hi. Yeah, I can.

Hi, hey, hey. You're getting a little echo from you. Do you have like headphones or something you could put on? Can I just hang up and get put some proper headphones on because I think these ones are faulty. Yeah, yeah. These ones are faulty. Okay. Yeah. He has an ones are faulty. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. He has an accent. Do you like his accent? Oh, Kiwi, his Australian? Uh, yeah. Well, he's from New Zealand. He's a Kiwi living in Australia.

Okay. So anyways, should I read the rest of this? Yeah. Okay. Before I do the next one. You over this? Conway. Okay. Fine. Oh, do you want a white. You over this? Conway. Okay, fine.

Do you want a white lives matter shirt? Would you wear it? No. What does it look like? It just says white lives matter. Is it a white shirt with black type or... No, other way around. Black shirt with white type?

Yeah. Does that matter? I'm just trying to visualize it. Like I think white lives matter. I want to see... I want to see... All lives matter. They don't.

See? Thanos. Where's our fucking money? That's what I want to see all lives matter. They don't See Thanos, where's our fucking money? Yeah, that's what I want to know where is our fucking money? Not whose lives matter. It's all wrapped up in teachers are fucking money Anyways calm down She faked her kidnapping to get to go back to her ex. Now she'll get 18 months in prison. Sherry Papini faked her kidnapping to go back to a former boyfriend. The 40-year-old mother of two pleaded guilty last spring to staging the abduction and lying to the FBI about it. She is required to pay more than $300,000 in restitution as part of a plea bargain.

Judge William Shubb, the nation is watching and the sheer number of people who were impacted. Judge says, they need to be sent the right message. We have to make sure crime doesn't pay. She faked a kidnapping? To go back and ask. I think I remember this story. Yeah, does it say when the kidnapping happened?

No, it doesn't give any like years. I'll put it in. I'm just saying that she was 40 year old and she has two kids. And just let her go. She just faked her own death. But why did she need to go through all that drama to go back? Like why couldn't you just like what was the reason? Cause it's like.

What was the reason? You know, it's a pain in the ass. Like, you know, they're going to be like, you can't just say, like, I'm sick of you guys. I'm out of here. She's gotta go like, oh, I'm getting kidnapped. Whoa. Oh my God. Actually, let's think about this.

Like let's say you're just this mother of two and you're so grateful to be a mom, but you're at the same time. You like really miss your old days and you're just so tired of living this boring life as this mom and you just wanna go back. Oh, that's Jesus. Yeah, then what, you support it? Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's terrible. I get so bad at a shape and you lie to them and waste their quote precious time. I honestly just support everyone. What would Thanos do? Either Air Chris? Kill the kids. Tell me you're fucking hell so.

I'm not killing one of two kids, 50%. The bad one. Hello. Yeah, I'm here. I can hear you now. Hi, Mr. Kiwi. Can you hear us? He never has to.

He is a kid. He is a kid. He is a kid. He is a kid. He is a kid. Yeah, we can hear you. Do you want to turn your video on? Probably not a word.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, we can hear you. You want to turn your video on? Probably not a wise idea because I've just woken up. You need to put your makeup on. What do you want me to put my video on for? We accept you the way you are. We just want to see you.

I'm gonna put my video on for it. We accept you the way you are. We just wanna see you. It's okay, doesn't matter. It's like brushing his teeth. Like I can hear you're taking so long to finish your first. I said it's my first. I said it's my first.

10 minutes ago I'd have been waiting. Dicks like a fucking fuck. Yeah, I'm not gonna pause the show and get on with it. That's where you want. Cheers. You can have this open one too. Cheers. Hey. Yeah, I'm not gonna pause the show and get on with this. That's the first you want. Cheers. You can have this open one too. Cheers. Hey.

Yeah. Can you just wait for five minutes? Is that right? Sure. What are you doing? You're here to, ponny's here. She wanted to talk to you. She's like the most beautiful girl that has ever been in the studio.

That's a lie. Just five minute. I've seen previous videos. There was another girl here. But also. Are you talking about Peach? Who was that? I don't know her name. Her name is Peach. Oh, no. Oh, just a...

Just quite... Hey, Peach. I'm just driving. I'll just hang up and... No. You just give me four and so hang up and just... Are you beating once? Yeah, sure. Five minutes.

Get your act together. Get your act together. Get your act together. It's Sunday, come some slack. When should I do the show? Sunday's a good day though. Like you're all, you know Monday's like, oh god, I remember I wanted to kill myself on Thursday. Tuesdays are actually known to be the most productive day

of the whole week. This is not, this show is not about being productive. Okay, you're right. It's about getting respect in and through. You're actually like to talk to you. If I were to really productive day on my Tuesday, like I would have really wanted to come here and drink beer and talk to you.

No, this is a Sunday show. This is a, this is a, this is a Saturday night. This is Saturday night. This is Saturday night. Can you at least add a little bit later, like four p.m.? New show, whenever you want. I'll do a show. Actually, I don't mind.

I'm glad I left early last night. What are you usually thinking until like one or two? Never. I watch it like seven, 30 even if I I was too much then because it doesn't matter what time I wake up. Yeah. But it's how I feel after I wake up. Because no matter what time I go to bed and how fucked up I am, I still wake up at like seven, thirty, eight, eight, eight, eight. We got to start drinking again, though. You got to get on the liquor loop though. You gotta get on the liquor loop. You gotta get on that liquor loop.

It'll straighten you right up. I drink. I know exactly, my brain doesn't start working until three. So I gotta get on the fucking liquor loop, right away. There he is, there he is. Chris the keyway, how you doing? Hi.

He's got a dick show, sure, and everything. Good, yeah. It's saving the clock in the morning here. Oh, is it? Wow. Yeah, just wake up. How you doing? I'm okay. How you? I'm good. I'm great. Look at what I'm talking to here. I just got banned on Twitter. Why? What did you do? I think I'm not sure. I'm actually what I am, but I think I'm not sure. I am, but I think I... Sorry, I'll talk about Ladis, okay. I don't want to know even more.

Yeah, she finally wants to know now you're two mysterious. What are you hiding? I don't know, because when a woman ignores you and you call them a bitch, and what you're saying is true, then they get offended, and I don't know why. Wait, so, still, still, Why are you, why are you brats always getting offended

by everything that we say when we're just trapping hot truth bombs? Okay, so here's the view. Wait, so, am I getting it right? That girl was ignoring you and you called her a bitch and then what and then what happened? And then I got a little bit of restricted more account and then I can't seem I can't see the games. I can't thought private message people No, I get that and I mean you know what?

Forget about the being banned, but this happens so many times when like a guy approaches a girl and he's interested in her He thinks she's hot and he wants to get with her, but then she ignores him and then he goes, you know what? You're a bitch and you're ugly anyways I even want you anyway You don't even know you can even name all the planets. And I'm not going to tell you how many they are because that's cheating. So why would they get so offended?

So why would they get so offended if it's the truth? I, this is why I don't understand. But why is it the truth? Is it because just she ignored you? Clearly they didn't know there were bitch. Because I remember one time we were at a lunch table. We were on a visa with with a group of friends. We were in a visa.

And this guy calls me asexual. Literally at lunch table with like everybody. And he's like, yeah, I think Ponny's just asexual. And I'm like, wait, just because I didn't want to fuck you, you think I don't want to fuck anyone? No, no, no, no. I don't want to fuck you. You don't want to fuck me.

Like I love sex with me men that I'm into. It's just not you. Don't be hurt. I mean, I don't know you, but maybe that's similar. But the thing is, but the thing I'll go ahead on the stand, if a woman is acting like a bitch and you say that they're being a bitch, why would they get so offended if you tell them the truth? This is what I'll go ahead on the stand.

But why do you think it's the truth? Is it just because she ignored you? Yeah, well, I mean, what would she... What would she... What would you mean it's a truth? Is it just because she ignored you? Yeah, I mean E. Coles bitch got it. I love that logic. Yeah, that's true though He's gonna call you bitch in a minute Well, they block you five minutes later I mean if they're bitch. Yeah a bitch. I have time for these bitches. I got 99 problems.

I got OBS is fucking up with me. Bitches are all of them. Bitches, not one of those problems. But getting banned from Twitter is one of them, huh? Because Twitter is a bitch. What do you think of Ben Seal? I don't think she was the one that you can play, but I call it here a bitch. Yeah.

What would be like an equivalent thing to call a guy that would like make you? Because I don't even think we're going to come no matter what. You call his name, doesn't matter. Whatever you call his attention, it's all good. I don't even think being called a bitch is that offensive. I think women don't like being called a cunt. In this country, that's worse. I'm talking about this one of the compliment here inside that yoga looking. Thank you

Was that a better say something back? Yeah You are very So do you tell me tell me do Australian woman? Did I like it? All the accents did I like Australian accent? She they like Australian accents? She's not Australian. Right. I am not Australian. She's from Iran. No, no, no, no, but I thought... She got out of her job just to be in the studio today.

Oh, I just heard that American women like Australian accents, is that true? Yeah, yeah. I mean... How can you say like a question? Yeah, like, yeah, well, it depends who's talking those Trilian accent, you know, like why? I mean, like the person matters more than the accent, but yeah, I think the accent is also hot. I think British accent is hot. I think He sounds Australian accent is hot. You know, I'm a cheeky. Yeah, he sounds like it. So what's that? I'm actually from New Zealand myself. Okay. Yeah. So is that just like north of Australia? Um, not itself, but I actually live in Australia. So, uh, for more than a stride, I've already got more of a, I've got more of an Australian accent than I'll do a keyway accent

probably. But are you still trying to, Are you still trying to date Amaranth? Are you still trying to go after her or what? What's the deal there? You said I've got no chance, that's what you said, that wasn't it. Well, that's what I said. What are you guys saying? He's very negative.

But Amaranth, she's quite rich, isn't it? She's quite, I I mean I'm not Yeah, but her husband allegedly has all her money I Is that true? I think that's true. Yeah So The use of the party you see that's killing here. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by killing you? I like quite understand Well killing it like making a ton of money killing it killing it killing it. Yeah, she's killing it like she's doing a great job

Whatever she's doing I wasn't really familiar with what she was doing until today Are you just walking around? So any reason in particular or just pacing? Hey, Chris, what do you do? I'm curious about you. Let's find out about you. What do you do? What do you do for a hobby?

What do you do in life? Well, I could have disability. I'm on a government disability payment. I live by myself. I got hobbies. What's one of them? Like, what do you spend the most of your time dealing? I just like walking. I just like going on the podcast. I like going on a Dixia podcast. Yeah. Good shout out. And I come into hand radio, I mean, Dignity is under the hand radio, don't you?

Yeah, I'm radio, yeah. Yeah. Like, I didn't know for anything. Hey, I got your emails that said, you talked that hooker into seeing you. Oh, that sort of felt three because she was, she was, she was a bit, she was well-signed. So, I almost said it. I read your other one. She said you had 75 complaints on the hooker

forum 74. 74. But then she swells now 75. And then she agreed to see you anyway. And you said, are you sure you can't see me? I'm really not what I'm portrayed to be. And then she agreed to see you anyway. And you said, are you sure you can't see me? I'm really not what I'm portrayed to be. And then she said, Anude massage with a hand job, 15 minutes, 80 bucks. Where do I see these racists? And then when I said, hey, they don't have to say the message. Then when I said the message saying,

I'm gonna get a tattoo, then she just like flipped out and said, no, I don't wanna see anymore. So she just saying that she's just saying that she's she's not really being truthful and all or unless with me Wait, what did you say you said I'm gonna get attached to you? I want to follow you. I said I'm gonna touch you Yeah, I'm gonna fall in love with you and then she got free then she got freaked out by What do you mean you know, Pony says you don't say that to an escort. Like it's like she's the expert on escorts.

Probably never been to one hooker in her life. You do not know that. Okay. You're a very surprised to know that. I don't know if I want to say this on podcast. And man, have you not been to a male hooker or jiggle over never been with a hooker But I used to manage at a private strip club What do you mean a private strip club?

Is that a whorehouse? No, are you like Dali Parton the best little whorehouse? And it was like Right Burke Reynolds They're all in Berk. Berk Reynolds. Berk Reynolds. Berk Reynolds. Berk Reynolds. Like, do marketing. We don't like put this stuff when I was like, younger, I needed to make money.

You did marketing for a horror market? No, for a strip club, a private strip club. A private strip club. What the fuck does that mean? So it's just like, instead of it being built into a club that's like outside, it's like built into a house. Like a big house. Oh.

And it's like, Like a house full of a big house. And it's like a house full of horse. Shepherds. No horse. So different. It is different. Okay. When you're against sex workers? No, I'm very pro, sex, I'm too pro.

I support. I support. Pony was interested in the menu that this the menu that there's hooker sent you. Uh, Pony, please read it. I'm looking at those rises. They look kind of like, uh, yeah. She knew that she knew what I was like anyway. So it wasn't the same that it wasn't used to.

She knew that what I was like. So why would she get freaked out by that? This is why they're quite on the sand, you know? Fre- what do you mean freaked out? No one get freaked out by that? This is why I don't quite understand, you know? What do you mean freaked out? No one's freaked out. But she knew that I was, she knew, but she, but this hooker knew that I get attached to S. What's by all the complaints that were made about me.

So there's some of the say that she didn't know that, no beforehand. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, you're saying that the hooker read all the complaints about you. So why did the hooker get freaked out that you said you get what I'm saying? Yeah, you're saying that the hooker read all the complaints about you. So why did the why did the hooker get freaked out that you said you get attached? She might have told to someone else. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, uh, maybe she just needed the money.

And then it happened and she was like, Oh, I can't. I just can't do it for this amount of money. What happened to the girl you were dating? Were you dating a girl? Uh, right. Last time you called in? Yeah, she's on holiday. She's on holiday.

She's a Stein with a dad at the moment. So she will be back in a couple of weeks in New Orleans. Does she know about all the hookers? I didn't think of me. It's because she knows that we're in an open relationship. Yeah. She doesn't really need to know though. I don't think it matters because she knows it from an open relationship. She doesn't really need to know that. I don't see.

Yeah. The last thing to know about her. Yeah, just. He's the genius. You know this one, not about it. The least one is a bit or a think, you know. Okay, Pony, do you want to read the menu? You got to keep him out of school.

No, no, nothing. That's amazing. Look at the extras. Chris, my policy is be honest on accident. Keep them out of school. So they don't know nothing, right? That's amazing. Look at the extra. Chris, my policy is be honest on accident. Wow. I see. If you tell the truth, if you tell the truth,

it's a coincidence. That is hilarious. Just read it. Should I read it? You have to be extra as well. Please read it. Please read the whole thing. So here's the menu.

Nude massage with, what's a HJ? I'll hand you up. Nude massage with H what's the HJ? Oh, hand job. Nude massage with hand job, 15 minute, $80, half an hour, $100. So double the time, but only $20, more expensive. And see why pimps are so important. These bitches can't do minutes. It's like 45 minutes, $140, and our $180, terrible pricing. Extras, $20 each, blowjob, body slides, boob job,

come on boobs, breast kissing, and $50 for kissing. Can you imagine adding this up like a dollar menu? Okay, boob, boob coming, first and boob kissing. Coke. Well, I only have this one. Okay, what can I give up? You got to like put, right? Yeah, you know, I'm right. Why do you?

Okay, which one would you give up? Let's say you're picking from this menu. What would you, what would you go for? Or what would you give up? What's a body slides? Is that like, don't know. Slime it? Chris, what's a body slide and this hooker menu?

I think it's when you naked. I think it's when you naked, they move or will I be a body or something? I think that's what it is. What? What? What? So how much do I think it's when you naked and she just glides over your body? She just like That feel good

Yes, I feel good Yeah, maybe you fucking are a sexual Actually $20 for a girl a glide naked on my body. Yeah, okay, tell me when I run out, just go forever. But why would you even want that? Just like somebody like, why would you win anything?

What do you mean why would I want that? What is the, what is any purpose that any of this shit? What do I have a, oh, $20, okay, okay, $20 for an intellectual conversation with an intel, would that fuck you? I got you, I'm here, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Amazing. That, $20 for an intellectual conversation with an intel. Would that spot you on there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure amazing. That.

Okay, so what I have $200, this is going to be the boot. And the party's the only thing I'm in. Yeah, we can hear you. A boot job. Yeah, I was having trouble. I think my battery is about to go flat this way on. Okay, plug it in. I would take, I would do the 15 minute nude massage

with a hand job for 80 bucks and then just try to like squeeze an extra 14 minutes out of her. Right? I'm like, all right, I'm gonna save 20 bucks on that. That's stupid, you cheap. I'm in it. Are you guys there? Yeah, I'm just having trouble.

I find, if I had a probably headset and a camera probably BBA, K, but I don't. $20 for a blowjob. So is a hand job is more expensive than a blowjob? Well, the hand job is just to get you in the door. So you're not thinking about it. No, but to have the dick in your hand, it's $80. Yeah, what?

I think I know. What? I might have to go because my phone is about to go flat. So. OK, do you want to read Pony, your poem that you wrote for Amaranth, but make it to her before you go? I would love to hear that. I don't think, I think this way, don't. Can you guys just give me five minutes and let me

still my phone out? Sure. Yeah, take five. Yeah, take five. Take five. Calm, take five. Take five, calm down. Okay. Bye. No, seriously, why is a hand job more expensive

than a blow job? Who's really getting hand jobs anyways? Cause they're gonna do. Very cool. What do you only give blow jobs? But like, what are you doing with a hand job? Why are you giving your hand job? Because like a hand job is so silly. Like, wouldn't you rather do it yourself? Because like,

you would do it so much better. No, I do not want to give myself a hand job. But when I do it so much better, I'm sick of me. I'm sick of me. That's kind of our guys. But you would do it so much better than like a random person. Just like, okay. Some things you can't quantify, Pony. Quent, yeah, you gotta qualify. I just don't understand how a blow job is so much less expensive than a hand job. Because she's already there. Once you get it, that's the hand job's a loss leader. So I like, oh, so, oh, so it's like a starter.

Like, gets you in the door. Yeah, that's why the 15 minute is so close to a half hour because she knows once you get in for the 15 minutes, you're gonna stay for the half hour no matter what. So that nobody ever pays 15 minutes, they always pay for the half hour. Uh, so now you're in for a hundred. And she knows you're gonna get,

she knows you're gonna get some breast kissing. So that's gonna be like, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna hold kissing. Right, obviously the kissing is what I leave off. Yeah, cause 50 dollars. I'll charge you for that. I'm gonna penalize you if, obviously the kissing is what I leave off. Yeah, cause fish is your- I'll charge you for that. I'm gonna penalize you if I get kissed in any way.

Right. Some breast kissing. And there's like what, $20 for that? Yeah. Okay, that's like $100. That's like $120 for a good time. For a half hour. And then come on boobs. hour. Yeah. So here's what I want to know.

If you get boob kissing and come on boobs, is that two $20? Separate one of those. Yeah. Yeah. It depends what order you do them in. Oh my god. I don't know why I care so much right now. Okay. Please, please read us more news. What do you think about Chris, the key word? 74 reports of whatever warnings on the hooker website. Properate behavior. He seemed okay. I thought it's gonna be like this crazy looking guy who's like just in a corner and just like texting women rapidly.

You're like, yeah, that is exactly what he does. Well, Esquire. Woman hospitalized for three days after a dog pooped in her mouth. Amanda Goma was like, Million of One Shot, Doc, Million of One. What was that?

What was that? Oh, that was the Esquire that he got to fuck him. But he had to talk into fucking him here. You want to see her? Sure. So she... You're interested in this, yeah. So she knew that he is bad news, but just went for it anyway

because she's trying to make some cash. Yeah, she needs a hundred and... Yeah. Even by hooker standards, her decision-making is... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, highly suspect. Well, you know, He's fine, maybe. I mean, what else has he done other than harassing women through text? Has he ever actually done something that's like physically inappropriate? He collects uteruses. What does that mean?

Who knows where he got them? What the plural for uterus be uterine? Probably. What in the nose we got them? What the plural for uterus be uterine? Probably. Any of you saying there is an eye in your uterus? I'm like, I should high five you for that. I guess you should do more than that. Okay, what's the next? Well, high five is like seven bucks.

I think I saw that. High five while I'm coming. Right. Yes. I am leaving. Bye everybody. All right, listen, Amanda Goma was looking after her daughter's chihuahua when she took a poop in her mouth. The incident happened while she was having her afternoon nap with her mouth open. She developed vomiting and diarrhea after and was kept on a drip for three days.

She was later admitted to hospital with a gastrointestinal infection caused by the dog's poo. She said something doctors had never witnessed before. And she shocked, she was shocked to be woken up with a dog poo in her mouth. Can you imagine? I just said it. Were you not listening? I mean, how did she get dog poop in her mouth

after I just mentioned how she got the dog? So she's sleeping like Homer Simpson. So she's sleeping. And a Chihuahua. She's sleeping with her mouth open and the Chihuahua just like pooped in her mouth. Like what would you do if you woke up with poop in your mouth? I think there's more to this story, but she's not telling us. Like what?

Like she was doing something fucking weird and twisted with the dog for some poop in her mouth. I was going to the hospital. Why would she even say it was dog, which is like, I don't know. She had a bottle of hair. Fire's remorse. A poop. Well, maybe.

My imagination is just like, I can't comprehend. She says, Pony is nice to talk TOO. Tell her that. They go. You're nice to talk to you. Thank you. Kiwi. Uh, but let's talk about that girl

that you saw in the show with the big tits though. Do you remember anything else about her? Did she have red hair? Who are you talking about? Oh, you brought it up. Yeah. No, she didn't have red hair. She had, she was brunette. She had big boobs. She was it up. Yeah, no, she didn't have a red hat. She had, she was brunette.

She had big boobs. She was really pretty. But if I'm being 100% honest, the conversation wasn't going that great. Oh, that's probably Veronica. Yeah. The playmate. I don't know.

Yeah. She's like Eastern, Eastern, she's from like the Czech Republic. Maybe. That's how they are. Really pretty. Yeah, it's from like the Czech Republic. Maybe. That's how they are. Really proud. Yeah, I was actually doing great. Yeah.

But the conversation was like, okay. Uh, yeah, I don't know. Chris, Chris the key we got blocked by her pretty quickly. Okay, what's the net? What else did I write in there? What are the other stories? Um, Texas Westland? Yeah.

I don't know what that is. Canceles play after students object to slurp. Texas Westland University, oh, it's a name, it was a name. Halted is production of Down in Mississippi a play about registering voters in the 1960s. Students said racist epithets in the script could contribute to a hostile unwelcoming environment. Playwright Carlisle Brown said he was using that language to

represent the reality of the period. Right. What racist Carlisle Brown, do you think? Thanks. I mean, that's interesting. The plot centers on three students, three student activists as they travel from New York City to the south of register black voters to the south to register black voters. The playwright said that his intentions were for the performance to be historically accurate. Oh, interesting. That is controversial, but I can see. So he said the N word in the play. Right. Because that's what would have happened in the 60 book. Yeah, because that was accurate.

But they got to rewrite it. Right. To make it not accurate. Affend anybody. Yeah. That always, that stuff always drives me crazy. Because like you're, you're making, you're making art. Yeah. And it's like that's, you want to be true to the times. You're supposed to take like the audience on like some kind of emotional journey. That's what it's like that's you want to be true to the times you're supposed to take like the audience on like some kind of emotional journey That's what it's for so like it's like no, we're gonna nerf all the words in the language we use so nobody gets offended

So nobody feels anything like their actors. They're acting. This is not their personal beliefs They would never say that in their personal life probably, but they're acting right now Yeah, but wouldn't he be fun to like the method? Yeah, let me find it right. A play of like the most racist guy ever. And then at the end, he like has a change of heart. And the whole book for two hours, you just get to go out and go, and you're like, oh, man, what a fucking idiot I was.

Now I, I don't say that anymore. And his YouTube account gets unlocked. Yeah. Right? I went to Oscar for the end movie. I go, it was like, what was the most racist guy ever? Has it flipped around at the end? Yeah, I don't think that would ever happen.

But I agree with you. If it's art, art is supposed to make you feel something. And if it's like depicting something of the 60s, then it's supposed to enrage you, right? Because you get to see how terrible it used to be. Yeah, make the car ball. We've gotten to the point where it's not okay to feel uncomfortable.

Exactly. And if you don't get to feel that way, then the play didn't do what it was supposed to do, right? Poor Carlisle. Yeah. Carlisle. Yeah. Carlisle Black. Where's his land? Brown.

Oh, man. Carlisle Brown. Scottish. Scottish. Anyway, name like Carlisle. Carlisle Brown, yeah. Oh, okay. So now we go to, okay.

I read this. Yeah, for Carlisle. I think so. Carlisle. This is the first time it's actually freezing in here. I mean, you turn it to my town. I'm not really warm, but no, it's like real. So I'm sure that the protest probably, oh, this guy usually inward. Well, it's blacker than sin.

I would imagine that spearheading the movement against this were probably all white. I know, right? Yeah, I love it there. White colored students. Yeah. It's always like that. It's always like that. You'll race this car a lot. Yeah, there's this video like that was going around social media for a long time. And there's this guy who's dressed in, you know, like a sombrero and like, you know,

Mexican, whatever, like outfit. Amoebaans. And he's going around and asking, like, what can we do? Mexican can be like a lawyer, we can be anything. A doctor. Yeah, exactly. But he's just wearing like a Mexican outfit. And he's going around asking what looking American,

looking European, looking people. Do you think my outfit is offensive? And they all go, yes, yes. And then he goes to a bunch of Mexican people. And then he goes, do you think my outfit is offensive? And they're like, no, yes. And then he goes to a bunch of Mexican people. And then he goes, do you think my outfit is offensive? And they're like, no, it's so cool. I don't give a shit. Yeah, because you're also supporting their business,

like buying some brahers and shit from them. Yeah, anything that could get attention from white people away from black people, we love. Anything that gets his blacks now, they've got Netflix, has a black thing, like, well, can we get some a black thing like what can we get some Mexican shit up there? Can we have some Persian shit up there Just silence Okay, fine

Is that a no is the hijab thing? No, no, not enough attention. I let no Okay, fine No, we don't know where that is. That's a problem. I know. People think Iran is the same as Iraq. Yeah. They're like, I ran Iraq, same shit. Same shit. No.

Lots of different histories there, buddy. How's it going over there with the hijab, the fake hijab revolution that you're wearing? Well, yeah. It started from like a protest and then I got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And now it's out of point. Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, I don't think this time. Okay. I think last time it was probably like CIA and Western implementation of Chomeini and the new regime. But this one, I don't think so. Just because of how unsuccessful it's been. I feel like it was successful.

How unsuccessful it's been. Oh, you guys are naked yet over there? No, no, yeah. Oh, God. Get those tops off, right, Sean? No, just no tops. Get some fucking power, man. But just like the fucking scar for whatever, anyways.

See some skin. Fuck the, Itolla, right? Holy shit, get that. Those titties out, right? Police, get that. Those titties out, right? Isn't that what we're all rooting for? Yeah, fuck. Yeah. I don't think that's what they want,

neither that's what they're ready for yet. Women? No, the whole country. You got proof they're probably not. You guys are basically there, though, before the fucking communist fuck you get. Like, what is the, what's it gonna take to flip around a ran around? Well, usually, historically, whenever you look at countries,

and anytime they've had a successful revolution, there are very similar things in common that you can like say, okay, so this is what a successful revolution needs, right? Okay. And so one of those things successful revolution needs, right? Okay. And so one of those things is that both sides need to unite. So every country, don't look at my beer. I was. And we interact your back in the smart sounding stuff.

Usually every, I'll be quiet, but usually every country has like two sides to it. Like here we have Democrats and Republicans, right? Oh yeah, right. Usually every country has that. Right. But as soon as those two unite, then they have a chance of like going after the government, which is why governments are so into keeping

the country polarized. With bullshit, yeah. Sean, 100%. You know, bullshit like N-Words, 100%. 100%. Then you're at risk as the government because they could be united against you Yeah, they want to

Distract us from how bad we're all getting fucked Where's that fucking money? Yeah, no, it's it's it's Oh, yeah, it's all of us And then Democrats and Republicans It's like that's it's got so it's got to get worse Is the thing is really kind of I think where you're going it's if it's got to get worse is that that is really kind of, I think where you're going, it's, when it gets bad enough for everybody,

then you get something to happen. Yeah, I read this song. Would you hear about the drag queen, so Sean, we got to do something about them drag queen. Don't start to the district, I'm looking for my money. I think. Okay, good.

I bought this random shirt many years ago, just because it was cute, but then I read on it and then it said, White Lives Matter. No, it wasn't where White lives matter. This was way before all of this, but on it, it said, they don't know if it was before racist. Way before.

I don't know if this is like the black movement. Black lives movement. But on it, it said the power, the people, is greater than the people in the power, right? I was like, okay, whatever. But now I get it so much because it's like a year later and I'd like understand, you know, the dynamic of that so much more because it's happening in my country and it's happening here. Oh, yeah.

I should probably rip that shirt more off. Okay. What were you? No more poop stories. What was the next one? Texas soccer coach accused of making out with students asking players for bail money. A woman's soccer coach. Cool.

What a winner. Cool. A woman's soccer coach at the University of Texas, Permian Basin, has been suspended after a group of players penned an anonymous letter to the school and the NCIA claiming she had made out with students and asked her players to bail her out of jail after she was arrested for a DUI. Wow, what a cool soccer coach. Okay, not how to get away with that.

Whatever. It's a boy's soccer team, men's soccer team, whatever. Yeah, that's probably we should find that out. It is. I don't know. What does that matter to you if it was a boys team, it's very important. It's I think that's actually an important piece of the well, it's matter so much. Okay. How? Right? What is it? Which is worries? Okay.

Team boys with a older woman or a team girls with an older woman? I just don't think it would happen with a team girl with a team of girls. But then again, a team of soccer players that are boys wouldn't have us to female soccer coach with they? No, they would now. I mean, the brave new world, anything. Okay, we need to find out. We need to find out.

We need to find out. We need to find out. After her arrest, members of the soccer team sent a letter containing multiple allegations about Tejas to the university, NCA, and Lone Star Conference officials. The students said they were worried the school would sweep her arrest under the rug. So maybe there were girls. I don't know, let's talk.

Yeah, women soccer team. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So she would be making out with her like soccer students. Teenage girls with a soccer coach. I'm trying to imagine. Good for her.

Sucks about the DUI. Yeah, yeah. That's rough. Call the end of the first year, head coach committed multiple data, data, data, her behavior also allegedly contributed to some students experiencing mental distress and committing self-arm. Oh no! Oh no!

I guess that has included kissing members of the men's soccer team in public. Wow! She just fucking laid an up soccer player. She's just trying to get some smooches, man. Yeah. Twenty bucks for that shit. Oh, wait. 50.

Providing. Providing booze to minors and asking players to help her pay for her DIY bail, which some did. The player has also set out as reinterpreted a game that she had been ejected from and continued coaching. She's talking out of control. Yeah. Two way radio. continued coaching. She's fucking out of control. Yeah, two way.

Wearing a mustache. Coaching. While wearing a disguise, why you want to put this coming away? Okay, next one. Sexual dynamo. Okay, wait, do the pigeon one.

No, no, I want to do the next one. It's Joe Rogan. Okay. Let's see what that's about. Joe Rogan says his in charge of his own body. And this time, it has nothing to do with the COVID-19 vaccine. Joe Rogan says his in charge of his own body.

And this time, it has nothing to do with the COVID-19 vaccine. In a recent episode of the Joe Rogan experience, the comedian and podcast house claim he could perform oral sex on himself. He said that. I want to know how. He just, I want to learn.. He just I want to learn to touch your penis. What do you mean? Oh, so it's only for guys. Okay, fine. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys can do it too. Just on yourself. What?

You can do it. I had been explaining how he goes about shaving his own ass hole saying I spread my legs apart and I go ahead. It's a hit job. Between the legs, okay. They're trying to embarrass him because he spoke out against the COVID fraud. I know, so what about that?

Yeah, if you're trying to shave your asshole, that's how you do it, okay? I don't get it. Yeah. Wait, what's that? What did you say? What did you say? Something about shaving your ass, that's how you do it.

I don't know what you're talking about. Uh-huh. What? Okay, what else did you say? Something about shaving your ass. That's how you do it. I don't know what you're talking about. What? Okay. What else did he say? Anyways, I could suck my own dick if I wanted to. Rogan at it. I'm super flexible. I've never done it, but I've put it around my face just to know I could do it as the

three other men held in protest. Rogan insisted, I can flatten my buddy, but my body out. You know I can. You remember that time when Bert said, can you do a split and I just dropped down and did a split, he said, if you can bend your head and go fully flat, where do you think your face is

and where's your dick? No, if you can do a split. So he hasn't done it, he just says you can. No, that's not so much it. He's been close enough to, if you can't do something. So he hasn't done it, he just says he can. No, that's not what it is. He's been close enough to- That is not what it is. He just said, no, no, no. He did it with his mouth closed, he's saying basically,

I put it by- It's not even the same thing, you can do this splits, but it doesn't mean, look, here's the thing, I can do this splits, but I couldn't get my head around my crotch because being able to, like being flexible in your legs and opening them doesn't mean that your spine can also like bend over to your crotch area.

That's stupid, Rogan. What do you think about that guy sucking his own dick? What do you, I think if you can do it, you should. Should he charge for it? Independence. Because of independence. Relive itading yourself. Okay, that's an, I'm newsdoubt.

Thank you, Pawnee. Do you want to do fan watch? Sure. Sean, yeah. What time is it? How long have we been doing that? Two hours. Two hours?

Okay, let's do one fan watch. Let's do a little bit of fan watch. Do you know what a fan watch is, Pawnee? No. Fan watch. Today. That's where we keep an eye on. Is that where we watch fat people do stuff?

Yeah, we keep an eye on women getting fatter, which they have been doing since the dawn of time. Do you want the rest of this? I don't have COVID, I promise. You can have the rest of it. You don't want the rest of the spear? I have other beers. No, yeah, I know.

We'll go for it. I'm, I'm, just have it. You're like, i don't want it it your mouth touched it you kudis that's okay that's not a thing here's uh... this once from spider says air pollution is making women fat did you know that john i uh... uh... air pollution is making women fat that's what's uh...

the uh... the amount of amount of cookies in the... Well, the smog has way more calories than you think it does. Looks like all that water weight might actually be from the air. It's a new study suggests that long-term air pollution exposure is linked to women gaining weight, particularly ladies in their late 40s and 50s. Uh, this place reported it. Yeah, why women and not everyone? What I'm gonna want to explain.

Observed women who were exposed to poor air quality, specifically higher levels of fine particles, such as nitrogen, dihoxide and ozone, had seen increases in their body size. According to a study, author Zing Wang, okay, an epidemiology research that's coming out of China, the University of Michigan, racist of you to think it's trying to,

the exposure to air pollution was tied to higher body fat, fat proportion, and lower lean mass for middle aged women, body fat increased by 4.5% or about 2.6%. Wow, all that smog in the air is making women fat. But more importantly, yeah, you can read that far. I mean, read pretty. Yeah. What? And you're not? That was so impressive.

I kept thinking like, is he reading there? Like what? Oh, no. Here's another one for, oh, God, I'm freeing the boob at work. And I don't. Yeah, girl. Well, okay, let's take a look at this girl first. Yeah, I'm freeing the boob at work

and I don't care what people think. So her buttons freed themselves. It's fucking rants, crueaning. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Uh, oh my only can we cop. But what does he do for work? You mean the lady?

Yeah, I'm freeing the boob at work, but what do you do for work? Maybe you're supposed to free the boob at work. She works at a garbage dump, can't you tell? There we go. Okay, interesting. I'm freeing the boob at work. I don't care what people think. I'm gonna bite in video. Oh, okay. I've stopped wearing a bra every day.

Yes, that means I don't wear a bra to work. I feel liberated. Forget free the nipple. I'm into freeing the whole damn boob. Both of them. Oh, that's what she means. She's just nowhere in a bra, okay? Look at this. What is going on there? Beautiful face. This is the Mike Myers. This is the lady they did the Mike Myers mask off of. I don't know if you can tell.

It looks like they're making like white chicks too. Just that, not. We love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie.

I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie.

I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. I love that movie. celebrities like Florence Pue in Olivia Wilde are for going their bras on the red. Do you wear a bra all the time, Pony? Not one about home.

Oh, but outside you do. That's kind of like a patriarchy thing. Internalized patriarchy, don't you think? They just look better. I don't care about. What is the fucking patriarchy I have to do with my bra? Uh, I'm looking like goals because I'm so tired of dressing not to attract judgment or attention from men.

I want to dress for myself, like men do every day. Okay. I don't think everything needs to be related to men, but I get it. Maybe I'm just not understanding it in the same way that she is. Maybe she has more perspective. Well, because she gets no men.

So this is like an in-salba for women. So it's she's like a men or her religion. I got it, I got it. Bras are uncomfortable. The first thing I do when I get home is free myself from my bra to relax and finally feel comfortable. True, that moment you take your bra off,

not gonna lie. No work's getting done after that. What does it feel? What does it like? If I'm going home and if I still have some work to do, I won't take my bra broth because I know I'm still in that state of mind. I'm like, I need to get shit done.

You don't have to take the broth, it's real life time. It's known, it's just real life time. Because you can't do the, you can't do the computers with your boobs off laughing around and stuff, right? The mental state you're in when your broth is off is just like, I'm just on a chill and relax and no work is getting done. I'm not using my brain somehow they're related. I don't know.

When I was devoted to wearing a bra, it wasn't unusual for me to be at my desk and forced to try and reposition a rogue bra strap or read, oh my gosh, she's revolutionizing. What the fuck are you wearing that's so uncomfortable? Just get like a nice, comfortable bra. She's wearing about two layers of fat and her fucking skin. I don't know, it just looks like a potato that somebody punched eyes into. God, that's a strangely accurate description. Let's see.

Oh yeah, okay, here's the last one, last one, I'll do it. This is a FL moon man says GL550 more like G550 pounds. Okay. That is so mean. I didn't say that. Mercedes Benz, really, all right? Mercedes Benz tweets out, we celebrate the women who share our name.

Which is like her airbag went off. Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha I'm pretty proud of that one. I'm not gonna lie. We celebrate. If I get canceled for that, it was worth it. Can you believe I got dinged up on hate speech? Yeah, I can believe it. Yeah, I can too. I wish someone would explain it to me.

We celebrate the women who share our name, which is Mercedes, so they're trying to retake the stripper name or the trailer trash name, Mercedes, and our spirit. So this is their attempt to breathe some... Okay, let's hear it. I have to pee so bad. Try to go. Go, yeah, go to the bathroom. Go, you can go to the bathroom. I don't know. But I want to see so bad. Try go. Go, yeah, go to the best day. Go, you can go to the bathroom.

Yeah, I should like go. But I want to see what she says. I don't care. Don't worry, I have cameras in there too. Just play it. And mics. I am Mercedes, and my confidence is my power. Yes, sir.

She's a big fatso, in case you're not watching the video. I feel most confident when I'm on stage. Oh. I don't think I've been more comfortable doing anything in my life. I will leave my voice and I'm gonna shine. Yes, girl. Oh my God.

She's doing Mercedes Advertisemental. Are you? I didn't think so. I'm not fed enough. I'm not confident in being fed on stage as it turns out. True. Like I'm embarrassed by myself. Right.

Okay, everybody, thank you for listening. Patreon.com slash the Dix show. Yeah, we'll do voice-pales though until you get back. Unless you want to say goodbye. How you doing, Sean? Good. Okay, I'll take it. Yeah, I think my, you know, I've contributed a little this week.

Not bad. Yeah, you did a good job. Thank you. Good job this week. I'll just play the music and then I'll find some voice-ups. Thank you, see you next Tuesday. I'm ready. Okay. How about this one? I've got a major, major rage, lip smackin'. People who smack-day-lits, and I'm black, I can say that.

People who smack-day-lits are the dumbest I hate all of you. I never want to hear that fucking sound again. What is that sound? Everybody, they're really confused. Never fucking do it. I don't care if you're eating or not eating. All the people out there want you to know that if you smack your lips, I'm hurt. Why would you smack your lips?

Going to kick your ass. Over and out. Like that? Some people just like something else? No, I think it's exactly what that is. It's just maybe it's a, some people start off sentences where they're like, well, you know, or eating too. Yeah, eating too.

Huh. Uh, okay, this one's called the liquor song. Let's see if that's it. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Finish all the bottles with your liquor cabinet. If they looked in half, all that you've got to have a sip, finish all the bottles in your liquid cabinet, drink them till the empty you fat, fat pig.

Hey, good song. Thank you. I don't think we've ever gotten one of those before. No, I don't think anybody ever left a singing voicemail. No, I don't think so. Has anybody ever left a singing voicemail? No, not that I can recall. Did somebody sing? Yeah, you missed it. Yeah, I was about, you have to say. If you have booze left, you have to drink it. It's essentially the message of that.

So you get a message. You're not fucked up enough. Ah, see, I thought I would limit my alcohol intake by not getting good beer. It turned out to be wrong. Is that why you got Takate? Yeah, those are all left over from Burning Man. I like that. You went to Burning Man?

Yeah, the last time I'm ever going, I'm not, is horrible. Did you do drugs? Yeah. Which ones? All of them. Yeah, every single one. And how did you not have fun?

How do you not have fun when you did drugs? It was a, okay, it was. If you're doing drugs and you're still not having fun, like, I don't really know what to do. I have fun a lot on the drugs. But sometimes they start fun and then they're not fun. Yeah, I've been going to Burning Man for like 12 years. It's always been amazing, but it's been whittling down.

And because they canceled it two years in a row with COVID, they did this dumb thing where they sold like pre-sale tickets for $2,500. So only assholes and predominantly asshole influencers and men would put out this much money to do it. So it turned into a big fucking sausage fest. But men take women, what the, men don't just like do stuff like that by themselves. They don't take girls, what the, they just go with their buddies.

They go with their bros. Like, usually, yes, usually burning man is like just a bunch of people hang around. And you'll see like girls, gangs of girls walking around having fun. Like if you have LA, LA is notorious for this versus like New York, New York's more women than men. LA is equally more men than women.

LA Nightlife is, yeah, LA Nightlife is a depressing shit show that feels like a gang rape is about to happen any moment. And New York's opposite. It's like culture, let's just meet up afterwards at a bar. Oh, wow, this bar is hopping. We're having nice, it's like a nice feeling. A lot of women in New York are like super professional. Like they, they're the ones, they're way up the dudes.

Like they're, and they date like fucking idiots. Yeah. Cause like there's no middle there. But in LA, it's like men at every bar are like, not even talking, it's like a bunch of lions and a watering hole, just waiting for a will to be to walk out so they can fucking attack her And in LA the social scene is like well, I'm bringing my date to go out tonight I hope none of my friends try to hit get to drunk and try to hit on her because there's no fucking other women here

Yeah So I think it's just like where you're going in the crowd You're hanging out with because in my experience like the parties I go to they tend to be like 30 girls and like 10 guys a lot of times. I'm not saying all of them but like most of them. Yeah, it's definitely where you're going. But statistically there's just so many single guys here. There's so many guys so there's so many single guys. Yeah.

Even the ones that are married are single. Yeah. Anyway, Bernie means ruined. It's just full of assholes and guys in their 30s and 40s and guys in the 30s and 40s. And they do like a census every year where they go around. You've seen it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let me find it this year.

Overwhelmingly male. Wow. Bernie. Man, I mean, I don't care. All right. Let's do boys. I said it when I was there. Like it's just feels like a fucking sausage fest and the sense of sky release this week. And yeah, I checked it up. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Here we go. There are times to charm. Hey, Dick, I got an idea for you. I was growing by Facebook

and I saw that I had for something called man therapy. You know, therapy that made for men, too. I don't feel too scared. You can see substance abuse, depression, suicide anxiety, anger, military type things. I don't think that's really good to help men. So, you won't need a like you know a three-in-one You know, we need a doctor We're gonna be a therapist They were also gonna need a prostitute. Well, yeah, or just a prostitute all those with women nowadays So men just need women women. Oh or are more than happy to be our therapist when

it benefits them. What does that mean? What does that mean? The prostitute would have benefits me and take care of me like a nurse would have benefits me. Uh-huh. Oh, I kind of lost it. Yeah, the idea is the third try of this. That's when.

Go fuck yourself. I'm high as dick. Okay. I'm high as dick. OK. I'm highest dick. I mean, there's always a role play. You role play as like a woman and beat off? You could get a girlfriend who you can like role play with. And she like, you can't, like, you know, act like she's your therapist and you're her patient.

And then like another that you can role play that she's like a stripper or prostitute like, you know, yeah How would you roleplay as your therapist? See be like Actually Doctor In my own case do you roleplay as a therapist with guys? No, I'm becoming a therapist. But do you role play as one, too?

Do you have to like... No, I just am one. Well... You don't role play something that you are. You role play something that you aren't. I don't know, but it's like a bedroom role play. I can role play other... I can role play other...

I can role play other... I can role play other... Yeah, yeah. What could you role play as other things? What's your... What's your go-to? I like school girl. Oh, me too.

I was right, it's fun. Yeah. I role play as Sean. Great. Yeah. I just click buttons. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it Sean? Bonnie, do you want to plug your show? Are you sure? Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Can we do a compromise on the hijab, maybe where it's sometimes? You want me to wear it here next time? No, no, no, a ran.

That's what I don't want you to wear anyway. Just putting the women just put it on for a little bit, just when guys are around and whip it off. How do we fix that? That is supposed to be the idea, right? If you're around women or if you're around men who are your family, you're not supposed to wear it. Yeah. But you're supposed to wear it when you're in the street and in public because there are men who are

unfamiliar to you. So you're supposed to cover yourself from them because you don't know if they're gonna like, you know, harass you or trouble you with their male gaze or if you're gonna like. So it's, so that's the whole. The male gaze cause us a lot of problems over here. It's a whole lot to do. Kind of tired about hearing about it. Protect women. Yeah. From men. But then it's like, okay, why not just let women be

how they want to be and then let's just teach men not to be predatory so that we don't have to be covered as well. You know, we've tried. We've tried that. We've tried that. We've tried that. We don't think We thought of that a thousand years ago. I was just teaching these men. No, that's an happening. You know through the hassle, not us. You go through the hassle.

You go through the hassle. Who's going to do that? The women. Yeah. We're going to teach us. No, I'm just saying let's have women go through the hassle, but not teach men how to make women do the same. They're fucking parents and their society and their- Just saying let's have women go through the hassle, but not teach men how to make women feel sad. What's the deal, men? They're fucking parents and they're society and they're...

Oh, they're all fucked up. And they're society. They're all fucked up. How about you women? And men. No, I guess I got stuff to do. You role model after men that you look up to, right? What if you look up to?

I role model after men I looked up to? Like you take a man that you look up to as your role model, right? Like what if, what if that was a man who really respected women and made them feel comfortable in his presence and you would do that? No, I'm not going to do that, man. Fuck that guy.

Yeah, what are you talking about? Women uncomfortable. Uh, okay, well, I think we figured that out. Thank you for coming. Yeah, Instagram is Pony and my, I have my podcast and it's called Speak Your Brain. Speak Your Brain, okay. Maybe Carl will make fun of it. That's what he does.

Maybe you should make your Speak Your Dick. Mm, like a microphone. Okay, goodbye everyone. Sean, you have any on the plug? No, no, again, yet again, no. You have again, no social media presence. Bye everybody. See, you're in the audience. No, no, again, yet again, no. You had again, no social media presence. Bye everybody. See ya, thanks.

Yeah.