The Dick Show - Episode 332 - Dick on Scammed Again

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

The end of Daylight Savings hoax, Big Tech teams up with the government, Dilbert threatens to kill himself, stopping Elliott Rodger before he explodes, wanting to be fat, banned from Twitter again, plus-size water bottles, and harrassment propaganda in the military; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm printing on my vaccine card stock. Oh, really? Yeah, you're really on a paper. I'm out of paper. Jesus. Uh, or what did I call it? Going, going, going. Your connection is excellent.

Yes! Finally, some things are working in my favor. Is it working good? Finally. Finally, things are going my way. Just catch a break. I have my Nicholas Cage fan club cards on every one of these because it's the thick stuff.

Oh, right, right. You know, stock means something in a card. Be it whatever it does. If you want to look like you've got to do an official medical Nicholas Cage fan club, you've got to feel like you belong. You do. And it doesn't matter though,

is when you're taking, you're wading it up to make it look like it's been in your pocket and then you're taking a picture of it just to have on your phone. There you go. Showing that. Sure. You know some places are still doing that? Check have on your phone. There you go. Showing that. Sure. You know some places are still doing that?

Checking for your fan club card. I didn't know that. The Largo of all places. Really? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. You know the Largo. The new one.

The old, the new old one. The new old Largo. Yeah. Is that what it is? Well, remember when it was the restaurant, right? Yeah. Still, still there, but now they have a big theater. Well, it's a big, yeah, exactly.

It's a different place, right? So it's, yeah. We saw, um, they have a big theater. Well, it's a big, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's a different place, right? So it's, yeah. We saw, we saw Patty Harrison there. He was a comedian. Yeah, when? I don't know, last week or a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. And we had three tickets and our friend didn't go.

Yeah. So we got an open seat next to us and I said, all right, right? Open seat, I'm sitting here, I'm gonna crowd her on this side as usual. I'm gonna crowd my girlfriend with this arm and I'm gonna relax into the open seat and this dude pops up and he goes, ooh, I'm there.

My guy, no, you're not fucking here because it's my... I have the ticket. I have the ticket, but I don't wanna stop him, right? I don't know, it's one of these, like if somebody throws you a ticket. Yeah. But I don't want to stop them, right? I don't know. It's one of these, like if somebody throws you a baby, you're not instinct isn't just to slap it away, even though it should be.

Yeah. The instinct should be to like size them up and see how they're affiliated. The baby? Yeah. If they're stumper, you know, which direction are they going to vote? Say, what do you think of Elon Musk to the baby before he slap it away?

Does the same way? Does the same thing say the N word? Yeah. Would you call a pedophile the N word? That's what I say to all babies. There you go. And depending on their, I don't know which is the correct answer. Depends on their upbringing.

Yeah, so this guy sits next to me and he found a new way, like a skinny black guy. So I was thinking, all right, I love those guys. That's the guy who's pointing. Yeah, he's like, I'm there. Oh yeah, all right. Now I know why you let him sit there. You don't wanna get canceled. Yeah.

The Largo of all places. The Largo. Oh man, do you hear that guy? I know that guy. I know that guy has a fucking show. Let's see if he lets a black guy sit next to him. Hey dude, can you go over there and just see if he'll let you sit there so we can jump out with a phone and cry racist.

He claps like this, the whole show, by lifting his hands and snapping, he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, and snapping. I'm like, what the fuck is new? What the fuck does that? What's the way our update of being annoying is this? Did you bring in here? It was really just straight because every time I start laughing, it sets him off and goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, show for me. Yeah, I knew I was done when I heard about people eating Snickers with forks and knives.

Well, that was a sign felt thing. Did they actually start doing it? I think some people did. Okay, let's start the show. Please work, thank fuck. Thank fucking God. Bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, bum-up, b You let it, you get us a showroom's end contest, come to your life from Mount Bucker.

Do you even know how to say you'll feel you're on your hosting, my ass today, K, the $20 million man. Joining me is always a world touring LA-based comedian, Sean the Audio Engineer. Hello, Dick. What's that, buddy? Nothing.

Thanks for not killing yourself, everyone. You're welcome. Thank you for joining the audio engineer. Hello, dick. What's that, buddy? Nothing. Thanks for not killing yourself, everyone. You're welcome. Thank you for joining us on another Sunday. I don't, I'm feeling so out of it today. And pissed off, I don't know why. I don't know.

I'm just out of it. I don't know why. And this seems like a time change. They fucking scammed us. They scammed us again. They got us. They fucking scammed us. They scammed us again, they got us. I didn't get me, but they got everybody. Did you remember when they passed Marco Rubio and those guys passed the thing,

saying there's no more daylight savings? We're only doing it once more, and then that's it. We're never doing it again, because it's pointless, and it's dumb, and everyone hates it. Do you remember that? I mean, I remember. Do you remember that? I mean, I remember that. Do you remember that? No, not specifically.

Why am I the only one that remembered this? I remember they were talking about, yeah, but it's also up to states like some don't observe the time chain. Well, yeah, I mean, not with any other law, it's not. But Congress or the Senate or somebody said we're never doing it again. It turned out that was a big scam. No, I remember doing it again. I remember reading about that. It passed the Senate.

Yeah. Slam dunk. Everyone hates it. Yeah. Goes into whatever the Democrat thing is and they said, now we don't have time to get, we don't have time to push that thing through. So that's it. Well, if it passes it, where does it go after that?

What do you mean? Congress has to pass it to. Well, they usually, but they pass it in the, they pass it in the house first, right? I don't know how it works. One of those assholes is not Marco Rubio's as a senator. Yeah. And Abahagril, uh, he passed it. But the other ones, they're not, they're not doing it. All I know is, although I know is we're stuck in this time hell forever. I don't want that. And they fucking tricked us with this cock tease. They said, I write, well, we have more important things to do. He said the Democrat, the guy said,

what are you can be said it is? Saving lives. Every time we, every time we spring forward, the first week everybody's fucked up, killing each other out there on the roads, having heart attacks, doing all kinds of shit like that. It's, it's fucking not natural. What is more important than time being wrong?

Yeah. What could possibly be more important than that? If you have a hundred things, your whole life is on a schedule based on time. Yes. You have a finite amount of it. Time is wrong. What are we doing?

That's instantaneous panic. God damn it, they tricked us. Do you see what they did? They dangled it out. You're never having to do daylight. We know it's dumb. We know it's dumb. We just like fucking with you.

And then all of a sudden, the heat's off. And it's, no, we're not doing that shit. Are you kidding? That would, we couldn't do that. We couldn't give the Republicans a win like that. I think what are you guys talking about? Could you give like a hundred billion dollars that you crane or something with it?

How is it? We're not doing the time billion dollars that you crane or something with it? What, how is it? How was it? How was it a Republican Democrat thing if it passes, right? I don't know, because they started it. I don't know. I don't know that I'm very upset by it. Okay.

Okay, fair enough. I aren't you? Do all the things that we have to deal with. I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay daylight saving time forever. I would just prefer to have, I just want them at all. Just make it stay noon.

I want to all day. Sure. I want it to, I want it light as late as possible. Uh, well, you're not gonna get that. I know. Where you are gonna get that. I don't know what it is. Well, let's just leave it, just leave it.

It's not happening. I'm gonna have to overthrow the government. I want them forward and then permanently forward. Uh, um, ice hand season. Ice hand season. Yeah. So your girlfriend have the ice hands? You notice that the hands don't get colder and colder?

They just suddenly become ice. One day. Yeah. Like Groundhogs Day. Where you wake up and go, what the fuck become ice. One day, like Groundhog's day, where you wake up and go, what the fuck get those away from me? What did you sneak in here? Does that happen to you? No.

Not really, because she's always, I don't always have these problems that aren't happening to you. I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend is always fucking cold, always cold, but I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend is always fucking cold, always cold. Yeah. But I don't know. She must like ball her hands into fists or something to keep them. I don't know. She cares about you. I don't notice the ice hands. No. Well, I fucking do. Well, no, she's not allowed to touch me. What are you kidding me? So fucking hands are freezing. I know they are.

Just get a stay. No, don't touch me. Especially, especially do not encroach on my side of the bed. That's, you've got a whole different setup going on here. I don't know how you do that. What? I've got, I've got people taking advantage of me left and right here, especially because I could always

go to bed second because I can't sleep. So I walked down and it's starfish central. Like come on. Yeah, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Yeah. No. I X across the bed. Yeah. What the fuck is this? Well, she, she ends up more on my side. That glowing switch right there. That's a very, yes. Can you? What? Oh, sorry. The other one. I'm at. There's another content switch. There's another switch. Yeah. I hit that one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. There we go. Yeah. Congratulations on your success in your bedroom. Oh, yeah. So I'm at my parents house.

So last week for more. Is there a Pokemon's tournament? Yeah, there's a Pokemon tournament. I left my engine at the heart of my cards at home. I just faked like I forgot them. Oh, wow. They bought it. Yeah, I changed in my cards at home. I just faked like I forgot them. Oh wow. He bought it. Yeah, I changed the subject real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do, let's go find that amount of time on that. Be like, Uncle, you pushed out. They're still not here.

My card's just still out here. Anyway, you got about 74 more days, I think, right? My girlfriend was there looking at her calendar and narrating her calendar, you know, as they like to do. Yeah. Sit there and just read a relentless stream of information to you. So I haven't been able to fix that one, Dick. Oh, I have this.

I have this. I have this. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. You just like dumping garbage in my head right now. Are you tuning me out? Oh, I'm making say awesome. Yeah. She just like dumping garbage in my head right now. Are you tuning me out? What would make you say that? I'm sorry, what?

So she goes, she goes, oh, I think I'm gonna cancel Pilates tomorrow. All right, Pilates guy. I think I'm gonna cancel Pilates tomorrow. And my six year old nephew happens to be walking over, bam, bam, and he goes, oh, so you like being fat? Ah! Ah! Or so you don't be fat or something like that. oh, so you like being fat the, yeah, I know.

Can't be defeated by mom by mom's hectoring. Right. And belittling because he got because it's such a positive feedback for him. He'll be addicted to it. Well, I'm banned on Twitter again. That's probably leading to my, my, my foul temperament. Could be. Yeah. Well, just in the nick of time for all musk to take over. Can't you? Yeah. I mean, in that window of time when the Twitters were getting fired, and they all had their account,

canceling privileges revoked. Yeah. Like everybody but like a handful of guys, those guys made it their business to kill me once again. Oh boy. Once again. This should be the last time you get killed, right? No. Nothing's ever gonna be good for me.

I know. That's now I have to fiddle, poke around. Everything's terrible for you. Yes. Awful, the worst. I had made a lot of friends. I really thought that that was gonna be my last one. With all this Elon Musk's skin.

You thought she was the one. Yeah, I did thought that that was gonna be my last one. With all this Elon Musk's skin. Yeah, I did. I was making friends, I was behaving myself. I was logging in with other accounts. Yeah. All destroyed. Hmm, they give a reason. No, banivating this time.

Banivating? Yeah. So they went through those couple guys had enough time while they're not being fired banifying, banifying this time. Banifying? Yeah. Okay. So they went through those couple guys had enough time while they're not being fired to go through and find me. How long has it been banned for? Like a day? Like a day?

There's still some leftover just for like the transition because I know I mean when you come and obviously you clean house that's 100% no. Oh, Elon's got. Yeah, of course. Yeah, he fired like what every 25% sure Fire in the fucking banning people he just fired all the I don't know what they were other they were doing the guys eating cereal and Recording it and posting it on TikTok. Yeah, whatever they're doing you didn't get rid of any of the banning people really that's true He didn't and they're bragging about it. Really yeah bra, bragging about it. Oh, none of us got fired.

Fuck you. Goodbye. Jesus. The Musk indicator that I was talking about on the bonus episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All time low. Check out the new bonus episode,

Patreon.com slash the Dixia. Do you want to see another cash floor? You know I do. Okay, let's see it. I'm gonna download it right here. You know, fill everybody in on this. Oh, yeah, that we discovered we have the whole cash floor. Yeah, discography. Right. All 26 episodes of Maddox and this poor girl. Right. Executing the dumbest game show ever created. And Maddox reading. Maddox reading cards.

Maddox trying to read cards for 26 episodes. Here's another question. He talked about such famous historical landmarks, such as the Almanoe in Texas, I think, where Santa has. Yes. Yes. The Almanoe. The Almanoe.

Okay, here we go. Let's see. Let's see how they do here. I think this is a new clip. Shins and for everyone you get right you get to keep some of that cash but for everyone to get wrong Sarah here's gonna take it away and buy some macadamian nuts. Okay, there you go. Yeah, I don't know. Does that Does that do anything for you? Here's the second clip

You're on the most exciting elevator in all Blas Vegas because this is not an order. Oh, okay. I don't know. They didn't clip them. They didn't pull funny clips, I guess. But anyway, take our word for it. It's a lot better than that.

Yeah, take our word for it. It's hilarious. Seriously, seriously, buy the bonus. You'll think me later. Here's with a scathing email. So it also makes me a rage. Did you see that Twitter and Facebook set up portals for the government to go in and say who should be censored? Yeah. Did you happen to see that one? I did. Isn't that a little totally fucked? Yes. Did you come to the same conclusion that I

did? Yeah, from the little story. From the little that I read about where it's like oh, you know making okay So it's you know, so it's another It's another 9-11. I mean just another way in right Yeah, I'm pretty sure Everything away around that that time the department of homie has been working to influence big tech platform Just became originally evident when the Biden administration launched it The disinformation governance board. Oh, I don't know. It's got these these stupid right wing websites are so difficult to read Go away more ads. They began meeting with them

I can let me find the Twitter thread that I have it on that's the only way you can get Let me find the Twitter thread that I have it on that's the only way you can get good information anymore some jack So they were meeting it looks like they were meeting year is they started the meetings years ago. Yeah Okay, here it is When you're counted suspended. Thank you the emails show close collaboration with Department of Homeland Security and private sector Twitter is that Indian Indian bitch fired by Elon, monthly with DHS to discuss censorship plans. Microsoft exact tested department of Homeland Security. Texted department of Homeland Security. I saw that quote too.

Platforms have got to get comfortable with government. So this is a Microsoft employee texting the government. Thanks so much. really appreciate it. Sorry, I didn't ring last week. Were you on the call this week? Just trying to, is that on an iPhone? Yeah, I guess. Why?

No, you said it's a Microsoft? Oh, yeah. Oh, is that the, well, who's the employee and who's the have a reddit? Well, I think that this is the Microsoft employee on the right sending the tax, not our mission, but so from an iPhone. Yeah.

Just trying to get us into place where the Fed, where the government can work with platforms to better understand the mis-slash disc trends so relevant agencies can try to pre-bunk and debunk as useful. The phrase pre-bunk is used so often during big, between big tech platforms in the government that they don't even have to explain it.

Which means getting lies out in front of people. You can, I mean, pre-bunk. You can figure that one out though. Pre-bunk's the most offensive part. Yeah. Because you know how people are gonna accept, interpret what the facts are as they come out, which is bad for you.

So instead of taking all that hassle of debunking them and wiping them out, we're just gonna go ahead and astroturf everything that we want people to understand. Thanks for your help. Not our mission, but we're looking to play coordination role. So not every DA is independently reaching out to platforms, which could cut that could cost so much chaos if the

government, if everyone in the government has to reach out to these platforms and try to coordinate all of our psi op propaganda bullshit before people start asking each other what's going on and figuring it out for themselves. That would be such chaos. And we can't have that. Was on the call, the coordination is greatly appreciated. Was disappointing, was disappointed that platforms, including us, don't offer more. Whoop.

I mean, we'll get there. And section leadership had zero questions. Oh, I'm sorry. So the blue was the government. Yes. That's amazing. I mean, I guess, I mean, there's, you know, I've always got in the blue was the government. Yes. That's amazing. I mean, I I guess I mean, there's you know, I've always got in the back of my mind that this is fake, but you know, I mean, let's say it's I do know that it's I do know that that

It's happening. It's a you know, this whole thing. You're talking about the bigger picture. There's a reason it's the very first Amendment is you won't do this. It's not, you can do it if you just ask, like you can't do it guns, you sure as shit can't ask other people to do it. Like is this, I don't know why, well I guess I know why people aren't upset by it because they love it,

but this is just, it's just, it's just them going and stopping you directly. Like well, you know, it would sure be nice if just them going and stopping you directly like, well, you know, it would sure be nice if you did that for us. Like, that's illegal. That's the very illegal way you just did it. Yeah.

Every skin is still illegal, asking someone to shut up is illegal. Everyone's just distracted by bright, shiny objects all the time. It's like, well, I can't, I can't point to where it's directly impacting me in my daily life. Yesterday is about the same as today. It'll probably be about the same as tomorrow. So I don't really care. Because ultimately people are just kind of wrapped up in that and they go, well, I'm not really, I mean, I'm not doing anything, which is a fucking dangerous argument to, you know, I'm not,

well, I mean, I'm not doing, not doing anything. So nothing will happen to me. It's like, you know, there might be a, things might move as opposed to what constitutes doing something. This, this is doing something. This is them, this is exactly the same as if they had done it themselves. Ugh, let me see if there's any more gems from it. Earlier this year, they launched the disinfo governance board.

God, thank God that didn't go anywhere. They thank God that gave it to that stupid Harry Potter bitch that ruined it, which later shuttered following criticism. Sure, but the same agenda lives on at the agency. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I can find anything else funny. And a clearing house, they're working on disinfo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, working on disinfo, noted an internal strategy discussion that the agency should use third party nonprofits as a clearinghouse for information

to avoid the appearance of government propaganda. Oh, that's government propaganda! What, if you, If you, if you, if you have to say it and, and put it in writing, then something is around there, what's your talking about? I mean, propaganda isn't the government saying,

hey, we're the good guys, like that, that's never happened. They tell other guys to say who the bad guys are, who the good guys are. You didn't figure out, I don't know, when did the government get so cute? Like, I got it. Guys, you know how we can, you know how people have all that free speech shit? Well, what if we just ask all the companies to turn them off? Yeah. To turn all our shit off. Yeah, sure. I bet those all the companies to turn them off? Yeah. Turn all our shit off. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I bet those dumbfounding bodies didn't think about that. Like you're figuring out workarounds to like the pandemic and the frame. We're going to fucking country. All it gets been. Yeah. I don't think that's a new thing. I think that

I think that the public is seeing a lot more. And what makes it worse is that what is even more annoying about it, is the people saying, we've got to hold them accountable. Oh, this is, hold who accountable? Oh, and whomever. Oh, we got to hold these people accountable. Right.

We got to hold these people. Oh yeah, there's overreacting, we got to hold them accountable. You got to hold them accountable, you have to shoot them out of a fucking cannon. Are you kidding me? Hold them accountable? What does that look like?

Ah, you naughty boys. Right. How dare you? Oh, Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Fucking exactly. Okay, here's what we're getting distracted by. Man of the year. Wait, what? GQ's man of the year, is this lady, I guess? House of the Dragon Star, Emma D'Harsie, makes GQ's Men of the Year list. What? GQ. The man, it's called Gentleman's Quarterly, right?

Isn't that what GQ stands for? You have for like, is it for men? Yeah, it's for men. Why the fuck is this? Why is this? Why is this? Why is this? Is it even a trans person? Is it a man?

Is they? I don't fucking know. You guys can laugh. A little known, Game of Thrones has a knack for taking, oh yeah, I mean, fucking fascinating. There's one thing I need to hear more about. It's game of thrones, you know, the fucking phenomenon of game of thrones. Well, I mean, I don't know anybody who didn't fucking hate the last couple of seasons.

So it's got a bitter, I think it's got like a bitter taste in everybody's mouth. So why is this lady, man of the year? Um, why do you think? Why do you think, Sean? I don't know if it's like the, it's like, it's like, dog up David Bowie. You know why I got banned on Twitter? I said, so you saw that like Kanye's been hilarious. Yeah, he's been being hilarious. Right.

So as you would say, did you see his tweet where that guy Harvey Harley-Pastornak said like that he's gonna Medicaid him and take his kids away and shit. She's Did you see that? No, oh Because he got butt because his ego got butt hurt with the with the whole fucking like a dearest thing or whatever They put another like his fucking clothing shit, right? That's where he start. Yeah, like he no Haven't cuz of OJ Simpson. He wasn't included in...

Yeah, well, no, that's what included in what? He wasn't included in their decision to market his shit or not market his shit or put another line out or some... I know it started, that's when he started to go for it and then he started to up the ante and... I'm looking for. Did he delete it? Did he delete it?

Because it violated the rules. Dang it. Dude, Jack tried to find it. Jack basically told him like, I don't know if this is the road you want to go down. If he started Twitter war with me, this is fucking. Jack, Jack lose. Fuck no. He's not. I like Jack, Shackle lose. Fuck no. Nah, he's not.

I like that. But you know, no way, no way. Yeah, this is that guy. He's got too many contacts. That guy's what? Everything. But like he's not as funny as Kanye. Yeah, excuse me, I don't want to call him caches.

What? Caches? Yeah. Oh, right. Right. It's a slave name. Right. But just yay.'s got a lot of cash. And he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash.

And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash.

And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash.

And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. And then he's got cash. Wow. After Muhammad had slaves. Yeah. After a white guy. That's crazy. Abolitionist. Okay. Let's see. I think tour that abolitionist statue down.

Did you see that? No. No. Yeah. BLM. Remember when they were you familiar, you familiar me out. So they didn't do any research and accidentally. Oh, what do you think?

The size. Rip down one of the good ones? Uh oh, white people. White people? Yeah. Right. Okay, here's, this is the, I guess, Harley Pastornex celebrity trainer has sent this to Kanye.

Just, I mean, just put yourself in the shoes of speaking to a black guy like this. Yeah. I mind bottling. I'm going to help you in a couple of ways. First you and I sit down and we have a loving and open conversation, but you don't use cuss words. Did he post this or something? I can't comment.

Yeah, and everything that is discussed is based in fact, not some crazy stuff that dumb friend of yours told her you saw on a tweet. Fuck you. This is how people talk to me. This is how you speak to me. This is a text. So second, here's where it gets juicy. Second option. I have you institutionalized

again, where they medicate the crap at you and go and you go back to zombie land forever. I have you institutionalized again. Yeah. He had mass institutionalized before we came into the nut house. There's a this guy put over there. This is psychiatric hold. Yeah. Um, so play date with the kids just won't be the same. It's kind of shocking, isn't it? That somebody's, that celebrities who are totally mentally unwell are being, are all being spoken to by a guy who's like a, a fitness Hannibal Lecter. Is that what he's a fitness guy? Yeah, he's like a trainer for a ton of celebrities.

You should be behaving like this. Yeah, terrible. Like warping, imagine how many people, he's like, he's threatening him. Yeah. With this taking his kids away. With a bunch of shit. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, what a fucking shack and win that. What the fuck in psycho? Why was I, why was I talking about Kanye? Some nonsense. Just talking about the Game of Thrones, I think. The ladies, the ladies, the man of the year. They're getting us back for all the stuff we took from them. The ladies, the ladies.

The ladies, the ladies. The god damn ladies are taking it back from us now. They're gonna be a man of the year. So after we took their swimming stuff away from them, I just got the man. I just got the man. Or did GQ just kind of go for it? I think they just, I think they identifiedify as a man, or did GQ just kind of go for it?

I think they just, I think they identified her as a man. Right. I don't think she identifies as a man or they would say, man, it wouldn't say woman was, what, was that the headline did say? Well, let's see GQ, man of the year. No, I just, I couldn't remember the headline. Q, man of the year is a lady. This is how we always get so off track of this.

I know, because I want to know. I'm gonna shoot up. Whatever. Emma, Darcy, oh yeah, remember I've got it. So, we don't take her in. The reason I got banned was because I posted a picture of that guy, Harley Pastornak, that crazy fucking trainer, talking to Elliot Page or whatever,

I don't know what they were in the picture when it was taken. And I just said, I wonder what they're talking about. And then Cernovich retweeted it. So in that little amount of time, I wonder what they're talking about. Yeah, no big deal. I'm just asking questions.

What am I missing? Maybe there's nothing. I'm just asking. There's a picture of the trainer. Yeah, and an Elliott page talking. I mean, some people say that maybe she has some crazy brainwashing shit done to them at some point. Right? Yeah, I mean, how much does it take to encourage this insanity that is then broadcast to millions of people? Not a whole lot, right? Not a whole lot. It's been, you know, there's been people who have gotten, you know, in Brian Wilson had a, you know, from the Beach Boys had a guy who was basically a, you know,

a fucking, yeah, a fucking, you know, parasite. Yeah. He really controlled him and had him like all kinds of fucked up and everything. I mean, you know, it happens. It happens. How much of our culture is controlled by one whack job, like, change like tweaking knobs and shit on these celebrities?

That was my point. That's what got me bad. I don't know, what does it say? Emma Darcy. Oh, it's just looking at the headline. Kim being this years, I don't see any pronouns. Yeah. Oh, come on with the there shit. Because they're probably not sure. They don't know. Right, they're probably, Oh, come on with the there shit because they're probably not sure. Right.

They're probably you got to go get to go safe. Like that comedian, uh, non binary. There's a new SNL or something like that. You mean like a real life pat? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, is that the, that's a cast member now? Yeah. Okay, but you know, it looks like a woman. All right. Covered those things. Kylie Irving did some funny stuff too.

Okay. Oh, pandemic amnesty. Did you happen to catch that one? No. Yeah. Let me find my notes here. They're all spread out. Oh. Pandemic all spread out.

Pandemic amnesty. Are you ready to forgive and forget, Sean? Oh, this fussing in a fudent. Right. Gotta go. Let's declare pandemic amnesty. Maybe we should read this article by Emily Oster. We need to forgive one another for what we did and said when we were in the dark about COVID. Well, that's the clear pandemic amnesty. Should we wait until we get inflation under control before we start to forgive this talk? Or what?

Sure. What is the rush? What's the rush of all this forgiveness? Let's just see, let's see how it plays out a little bit. Dick, it's so we can have a very brief period of healing before the next fucking before we're in tragedy. Before we elect, literally Hitler,

let's focus on the future and fix the problems we need to, I need to go to therapy, I guess. I think is the point of this article. If I'm not ready to forgive, I need to go to therapy, I guess. I think is the point of this article. If I'm not ready to forgive, I need to go to therapy. Let's declare it. It looks like suggestions so far, the Atlantic. Let's focus on the future and fix the problems. We still, you are the problem.

There's no fixing. You idiot. Nothing's gonna be fixed. Uh, once another child got too close to my four year old son on a bridge, he yelled that her, Oh, shut the chat! The precautions were totally misguided. Oh, on April, no one got coronavirus from passing someone else hiking.

Yeah, we all knew that. Yeah, I'll fucking knew that that was the case. That's one of the first for you people. One of the first things I was hearing was like, don't go where your mask's exercising. Don't do your outside, you're fine. I've been reflecting on this lack of knowledge. Thanks to a class, I'm co-teaching at Brown University on COVID.

That's exactly who I want. Ge-teaching fucking classes. No, I don't think they should have. I don't think you should have this as a curriculum while it's still in its infancy, in effect. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's total fucking arrogance of what the hell is the curriculum about? No, I'm a brown university professor. I'm teaching a class on COVID while we're still you're going to know more next year than you know now, which is more than you knew the year before. Some of the choices

turned out better than others. Take an example, there's an emerging, there's an emerging, if not universal consensus, it's cool in the US, we're closed for too long. Yeah, I would say that's an emerging consensus, bitch. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Well, in this maybe. For sure, for sure the kids fucking suffer.

What kind of apology is this? I don't know know it's like well we were you know you go The road to recovery the health risks of in-school spread were relatively low. Yeah, no shit um And now people kids are retarded the latest figures on learning Is she a she medical who writes like for the I don't know know, they'll say, but I don't know. It's a big. Economist, office, they fucking have been talking a lot about, okay, but I understand like if she's

taking it from a, from like a financial standpoint or, you know, economic standpoint, you and you seeing that? Well, I mean, that's, she can have a point of view on that. Yeah. I don't know, I'm not ready. You're not, I'm, no, no, no. You're not ready, so pretty pissed off. Yeah, you don't have to be runnest.

You don't have to be ready. I think that's premature. Let's see here. There's a labor shortage. Have you heard about that? I heard about that. I heard about the her ski labor shortage.

Air lines and shit. It's labor shortage. Yeah. What does that even mean? How do they, you don't have enough. Not like a water shortage. Yeah.

Like you don't have people, you don't have enough people to work for free, you mean? Is that what you're, we've got it this goddamn labor shortage. I would be shocked if there weren't tons of people out there who want a job. Yeah, I really find it.

It's just a noise me the way they phrase it. Well, you got this, there's this dang labor shortage out there. We can't get anyone to labor. I'll be damned. Oh yeah, okay, Ottawa, this from Canada, Ottawa reveals Okay. Ottawa. Oh, it's from Canada. Ottawa reveals plan to welcome. I hate it already. Oh, they have a labor shortage. As in God damn immigrants for a year.

Cause of the labor shortage. What a fuck you to people. Oh, we got, wow, we got this labor shortage. So we're just gonna import a bunch of slaves. Work for a lot less, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Cause of this fucking labor shortage. We just got, we just have all this stuff

that needs to be done and no one laboring. Yeah. And then we can't figure out how. So we're just gonna bring in a bunch of brown people. That ought to, that ought to short up. We'll get some of these fucking laborers in there. These fucking Mexicans bring them in there. They love laboring.

They love it. They can't get enough of it. How do you say this with a straight face? I don't know. I don't know. It's a pretty good idea if you're looking if you're on one end of it. Yeah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Okay.

Yeah, I talked about that. Hmm, someone died. Oh, there's some election fraud. Hmm, productivity, UK military sexual harassment. Let's check a look at, let's take a look at that. It's a pretty funny picture. Oh my God, this shit is not working today. Oh, Dilbert is gonna kill himself.

You know who Dilbert man is? Yeah. Did you see his big meltdown about his hot wife? He's got this, he married this young girl who's way too hot for him with how rich she is and stuff. Yeah. And she's one of those thoughts that plays the piano on her Instagram, like classical music,

you're like, okay, whatever, so fucking deep. Instagram, like classical music, you're like, okay, whatever. So fucking deep. Scott Adams says he's lost his will to live after his COVID shot. And he'll be trailed by people. He just, he says he'll commit suicide next year. Okay. That would be probably the funniest thing.

I don't be the funniest thing that I. I don't believe him at all. He's already got the dopamine hit from by telling people he's gonna commit suicide. Is that cool now? Can you just say I'm gonna kill myself if stuff has happened? It doesn't happen. You know, I mean, suicide. You know, I, I,

Our Patreon is gonna get back over 20,000. I'm gonna kill myself. I wish people, you know, I wish people wouldn't feel that that's like the choice that they have to make or there's no other choice. But in that guy's case, I'm fine with them killing himself. Yeah, even if, even if disabilities, I'm just not going to feel bad for him. I just refused to feel bad for that guy.

Oh, he said this on my birthday. Wow, thanks, Scott. Yeah. Dilbert and cartoonist says the, oh, oh, yeah, he was big on COVID shots. Like everybody needs to get them. Everybody needs to do their part. But then he blames it for depression and I think he blames it for losing his entire audience because we fucking hate him now after really said that shit. Was he, is he that, is he that much in the fucking, is he have that kind of social media presence for what for just anything I mean like yeah he was like super pro Trump.

Well I know I know I know yeah I didn't know that he was talking about like wide Trump. I just know him from Dilbert. No man he has a he had a big long life after Dilbert. Yeah. Now going down in flames he was pro Trump, and he'd always like explain why Trump was acting crazy. Yeah. And he's not, I mean, I thought he was right. And then COVID hit and he's like, if you don't get vaccinated,

you're basically the murderer. Right. So we need to like punish people who are not vaccinated. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck you. No. Then his wife left him and talked shit on Twitter. So now he's going to kill himself.

Okay. He'll commit suicide next year if disabilities and depression don't improve his, like overall or his own depression. That's, yeah. Yes. I don't want to watch this whole thing. He's so, I damn it. Get this shit out of here.

Let me read it. I can tell you, if I feel like this in a year, I would look to kill myself. Ah, you got to say, if you're going to say that shit, you're going to put some stink on it, right? You can't be saying, he's boom. What's he putting the timeline?

What a fucking attention, horror. God damn damn man. One year, you have one year, or I kill this bunny. If you don't get fucking 12,000 likes. He can't even say it. He can't even fucking say it. You pussy, but I can tell you,

if I feel like this in a year, I would look to kill myself. So let me say it directly. If I feel like this next year, I'm going to look to kill myself. He sounds like the boss in his comic. Yeah, exactly. Right. Just a corporate speak. Well, I'm going to have to start looking into procedures to possibly terminate myself. Yes, yes, yes. My, my, my cell division, looking for ways to end my cell division permanently.

But because I don't want to live like this, like, I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to do this in two years. I'll do this one year, I'll give you one year with this amount of pain. And then next year, it's like, hey, I'll, I'll give you this part. I don't give you, it sounds like a, like,

like an Asian jumped in there and like, I'll do this one year. I do this one year, not two. It's the only one. I give you one year with this pain. And then next, I'm not going to do two years. I'm not going to do it. Fucking kill yourself.

You pussy. Fucking guy, man. God. This guy. Fucking boomers. It's still not enough. Everyone got vaccinated for this asshole and he's still upset. I'll do this. I'm not enough. Everyone got vaccinated for this asshole, and he's still upset. I'll do this.

Not enough. I'm gonna kill myself now. What's he wants everybody to go? You guys are gonna kill me with COVID. Now I'm gonna kill myself, because I'm not happy about it. Oh, damn. You guys made me feel bad for this.

The time, the time space is what's killing me on this. Oh, it's the year. It's just like a business. It's like a business. It's like a business. It's like a business. It's like a business.'s pulling it down, it's the whole like, do you remember the movie hook? Mm-hmm. Okay, right?

Destiny movie. Yeah, and Bob Hoskins is me, and he's in there, and he's going, he's faking killing himself. He goes, that's it's me. This is the end. That's it. There's no, how do I, there's a, don't try to stop me, me. Oh, yeah. Try to stop me, me.

Try to stop me, you better get up off your ass. And that's it's me. Try to stop me. Oh, yeah, try to stop me. Try to stop me. You better get up off your ass and that's it. This is the end. You know, it's like this fucking guy. Dude, how do you even put that out there? Oh, well, I'm just gonna. And he lives next to his ex wife, I think. Oh, that's good. I'm sure that's great for his mental health.

When she's like, I'm sure it's all of us. Young and hot and fucking some other dude. With half your money, Galvo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure that's great. I'm sure that's the fuck is that sound? Amazing for your mental health. Somehow they jammed that in a COVID shot.

Hahaha. Somebody's giving her an injection every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All night. Oh, it kind of ends in antibodies. Hahaha. And then next, I. All night. Oh, it kind of amput bodies. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. And then next, I'm not gonna do two years.

Promise you I won't do too. What a fucking put. At least I get respected. He's like, you know what? I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I hate, I hate being alive. I hate having all this money. Yeah.

It's not enough. Right. I hate living next door to my bitch X-Wife who didn't even fuck me that much. I blew a ton of money on it. Right. I hate it. I'm gonna do it. Maybe in a year. I don't know. I got to think about it. Right. Not this shit. He's being talked into it. I promise you I won't do too. Adam suffered a series of unfortunate setbacks in recent years. No, he didn't. He did them

to himself, including the 2018. Maybe not that one. Oh, the 2018 death of a stepson. Yeah, that's not really a, it's not even your fucking son, don't give me that shit. You know, I'm probably a relief. It would be for me. Oh man, I fucking drug addict

that some other guy messed up, finally dead. I don't have to worry about that shit anymore. Oh. From a fentanyl overdose. fucking drug addict that some other guy messed up, it's finally dead. I don't have to worry about that, shit, and you know. Uh. From a fentanyl overdose. And he's all pissed off about fentanyl too. Yeah. It's like it's all of our problem that his step-son died.

It's like, oh, the death, we should have the death penalty for drug dealers. Fuck you, man. Well, look, why don't you go kill yourself, Scott? Drug, I'm doing drugs. You want to kill my drug dealer? You're going to have to get through me. Well, here's the, that's the, that's what I need those. The whole drug dealer thing is, it's such a stupid argument because it like, you know, they're not, they're

not doing this. They're not selling drugs to people who definitely don't want them. You know, I mean, it's stupid. The end result is people want drugs. Yes. Divorce from his wife, losing a Dilbert TV show for his quote being white. No, it's because Dilbert on TV sucks. That's why. Yeah, it's not funny. Yeah. A three year battle with Spasmo, Distan Phonia,

probably lie, preventing him from speaking until having larynx surgery. Yeah. The cancellation of his Dilbert comic by 77 newspapers for apparently political reasons. Yeah. Well, fuck you. Fuck you in your shot. Is Adam, is Adam's vaccine injured?

Oh, is he just joking around? I don't think he's joking around. I think he's just looking for, I think he's looking for something to blame for his fucking problems. It seems like he had health problems before that. He's fucking depressed. You know, depression manifests itself

in all kinds of physical symptoms too. Like attention-horing. Yeah, like that. That's the biggest symptom of depression is being a big fucking attention-hor. Yeah. Right. Oh yeah, okay.

What was I gonna do? The sexual harassment thing. All right. Scott Adams. What a dick. What do you think about this? Look at this pretty dilucid. I like it.

I like it. I like it. Military. It's like, oh mama. Sir, I don't feel I like it. The military. It's like, ooh mama. Hahaha. Sir, I don't feel comfortable with this small white woman in my vicinity. I'm going to need her to go out and leave the house.

Is this a recruitment ad for black people? Because it's like this white woman is just insatiable for his, uh, not going to say it. A cleaner. Yeah. Uh, it's an ad for the UK Army. He's not gonna say it. A little cleaner. Yeah. It's an ad for the UK Army. She might be bullying him. She's like, look. Sex.

She's like, yeah, you little bitch. I'm gonna, look at this. I wouldn't put a past them that this was a recruitment ad. It says sexual harassment. Call it out. And then there's a, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Black guy wearing camo, you know, they're in an industrial situation. And he's going, he's got his hand up going like, whoa, bitch. What are you? Whoa, not here, Mike. Blazing saddles. Yeah, three schnitzens. And Groobin's his my teeth, but he's my limit on schnitzens.

Groobin, yeah. She's coming out like a schnitzens. Groobin. Like a drunken prom date. I don't know what she's praying for though, not as cock. That's not where the cock is. Just grabbing at his hips. Well, my wife's in the commissary. Let's go around the fish that's stripper I married. So I don't have to sleep in the barracks anymore. It's right across the wall from here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally man. She's fucking look at that shit. And she's like, I think she's fucking, look at that shit. And she's like, I think she's just like laughing at the absurdity of this picture. I think so too. Taken. Like, they couldn't do a good one.

He's selling it pretty well. What the fuck is this? Look at, he's like trying to get as far away. He's leaned into the, into the corrugated wall behind. Yeah, he's, he's like trying to get as far away. He's leaned into the, like corrugated wall behind. Yeah, he's, he's really selling it. I've never seen someone look so scared in a military ad of all the military ads. I've ever seen it's always like,

I'm about to fucking ice these fools. I'm fighting a dragon. And look, you can tell my woman, shit, she's a very like small woman. That is the smallest black guy I've ever seen in my life. I mean, like they had to find a guy who's not even in the military. Yeah, that guy is like, that guy's like five three. Otherwise, the photo would look stupid.

Nobody would believe it. If it was like something like two fucking, it would look stupid. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. There's what does it say here? It looks stupid or is there some idiot that got paid to make this? Yeah. Oh, I mean, you know, we paid for it. Yeah, I love it. This is great. Um, look at that. I always see like Aerobees or something. I'm a little bit what is he like? Oh, man, normally black

or he's a little bit like he doesn't he doesn't look like a black guy anymore. Mm-hmm. There is no place. There's no place for bullying discrimination or harassment in our army. Does her hand look weird? Fake. Yeah. It's a little boy's arm coming out of her sleeve. It's like it was a it's like that that might have been comped. It looks like it was cut out really, really poorly.

We should email them. ArmySpeakOut at mod.gov.uk. ArmyDashSpeakOut. ArmyDashSpeakOut with capital S, capital H. How many horny white women do you have in your armed services? That's what I want to know. Please write back. Yeah, I'm an American, but I could convert, I think.

Yeah. All right. How many white women do you have in your armed forces? Please, I think. Yeah. All right. How many white women do you have in your arms? How many? Please, please advise. Please write, please advise. You're sincerely darn ill. Ha ha ha.

Washington. Oh man, I hope, I hope Gilbert can see that. How many of you said he's so happy. Does that guy blows his brains out? You know, do you want him to make it a year? Do you want him to make it to? I want him use that. Oh, he's so happy. Is that guy blows his brains out? You know, do you want him to make it a year? Do you want him to make it to? I want him to rush. I'm gonna set his clocks forward.

You know what he thinks? It's, where did the time go? Oh, you know what it'll be really embarrassing for him? Whenever everybody retweets that in a year and say, so how's it going? Yeah, where are you? Why aren't you dead? Yeah, how's it going?

Why aren't you dead? You pencil dick. All fucking talk. What a cry baby. Could you imagine that? Dude, I professing to your periscope, whatever it is, some fucking boomer. That's, I don't think I'll ever understand that.

I'm just too fucking old, like to, it's way too old, my thinking, no, in my thinking, to like, that's the last place my brain goes is to tell everyone. Most people with depression, most people with depression don't do that. They tend to state of them fucking selves and don't let on. Maybe he's on to it something. We should all do it.

Yeah, I mean, he sounds like a fucking, I might kill myself. Yeah. You know, what a fucking, what a, I might kill myself. Yeah. Ah, you know, what a fucking bye. What a might kill myself. You know what? You see me next time. Apparently, apparently up till fairly recently, he was having a fucking great life. So he's like hit a hit a rough patch and like that's just fucking though. Some people come out of the shoot fucked. Yeah, but they never had they never even knew what it was like to think they should have good. That's right. So it's even worse for him. That's right. I understand that.

Well, you know, I mean, it's worse for guys like us. He's a fucking tourist. That's what it bends me the most about it, too. This is the first time you're thinking like this. Oh God, that's pathetic. You can't even say it. I almost said it every week. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha. You pussy? All right. Poor one out for Dickhead. This guy says, Hey, Dick, I want to let you know that one of my best friends, one of your biggest fans passed away recently. Oh no.

Oh shit, his name was Keegan. He was a marine vet and an awesome dude. And I've got some great stories to tell. You want some content? I promise I'm not retarded. Yeah, I wanna hear those. Yeah. Motherfucker died in the middle of us launching

our own creative stuff, and I'd love to share some of his wars. Oh, okay. I hope he has a little bit of a marketing technique for your creative stuff. Peace, Ronnie, and that sucks, man. I've always sned to, especially if you was a patron. A patron.

Yeah, just don't cancel his credit card. That's what he would want. Let it ride. Well, the sun set. You could not credit card ride into the sun set. He doesn't care. Let's see. If only we could switch him and Dilbert.

Yeah. He used to get in fights with me on Twitter. Well, if fights are like Royce from Revenge of the Sys, who did I'm taking on him, Tilbert? Yeah. Been Ralph. He's like, tried to suck up to Ralph. Really? Yeah. We're all picking on him. Yeah. When his wife left. Oh, God. picking on him when his wife left. Oh God. Atticus says that voice actor take is completely retarded. Arraised. What? We were talking about voice actors. Yeah. I don't know. Ray's eyebrow can be seen. It's called motion capture. Even before that, Robin Williams was filmed by recording the voice of the genie and the animators

drew his performance on the screen. I'm talking about. I'm talking about selling it in the read. Which one of us does this for a living? You fucking retard. God damn dude. Why don't you tell me fucking, why don't you fucking tell me fucking how television and voice acting are different styles? Are you gonna kill yourself?

Oh wait. If I feel this upset in here. What does he do? What the fuck does he do for a living? Like what, what, what I know anything about that? He just blows guys. Small weiner of the fucking service. Man, I forgive a lot, but Jesus Christ, dude.

You're gonna tell me that. So a failed actor who does the voice of Pokemon would have been better because he's a quote, professional voice actor. What are retarded take? You guys sound like those low IQ people who think only gaze should play gaze. Oh, other ape-minded ideas. What a, what a fucking clueless dickhead. Love the show.

Go fuck yourselves. Well, thanks. Atticus. Yeah, but you're retarded. Absolutely retarded. Uh, the love of my life. By the way, it's not an opinion. I think he thinks it's an opinion.

What is it? These are facts. Oh. These are facts. These are different styles. There are people you need experience in both. It's a different thing. Ask any good actor.

Yeah. You don't have notice. There are some people who don't think that there's a right way to do things. That's what I've noticed in life. It's like, well, you know, however you do it. A lot of times there are multiple ways that will work in maybe-

Multiple correct ways. Yeah, yeah. There are just multiple ways. Yes. Some are right. Some will never get you wrong. Some will never get you to the end result. I've noticed that trade in men pop up like an NFT.

Oh, you're one of those guys that doesn't think there's like a right way to do things. There's like any way as long as it gets done. Incorrect. The love of my life projected me. Hey, Dick and Sean, please don't read my name on the show. No problem. I'm a delivery driver.

There's a hardware store that's part of my route. When I first started the job back in April, there was a girl who worked at the front counter and would sign for the packages. She's always wearing a red vest, so I never got a great look at her cans. But they're probably beaversies. Okay.

And every time I saw her, she would say something short and friendly, like working late again tonight, huh? Oh my god, I'm pissed off at that dickhead. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in friendly back? Yeah, sure. Once I got the hang of my route, I would get to the hardware store at three or four instead of eight or nine, so I didn't see her during May, June or July. One day towards the end of August,

our schedule's finally lined up again, and I saw her. She gave me a big warm smile and said something along the lines of, hey, it's you again, I haven't seen you in a while. Oh, wow, this is a long one. From that moment, I was fucked. Mm. I haven't felt any kind of romantic

or emotional attachment to another human being since I was 18. So, did he say how old he was? No, they never do. They always say since, but I don't know how long that is. So I don't know how old they are. You know what I mean? He could be 30.

Yeah. So realistically, I've probably He can be 30. Yeah. So realistically, I've probably never felt that kind of emotion. It was completely involuntary. It wasn't like a girl is nice to me, therefore I'm gonna marry her. She just completely hijacked my brain. And I was no longer in control of my own thoughts.

I literally had the worst sleep of my life for about a month straight because I would just lie in bed until two or three a.m. Envisioning our first kiss on the Ferris wheel at the same fair. What? Invisioning, you mean that's his fantasizing then? I guess.

On a 15 about 12. And a Ferris wheel's involved. Yeah. Maybe I can job. Oh, look, look, the Ferris wheel froze. Seeing how beautiful she looks in her wedding dress. What the fuck? It is pretty up here, isn't it?

I have, you've all seen it in a movie, right? Yeah, Ferris wheel. Yeah, and it stops and then they're like, you know, they're sort of like fighting or they were uncomfortable, then they make out on the Ferris wheel. Yeah, making out. And then she's me towing them by the time they get down.

Mm-hmm. There's the that one. Like that white guy on the Ferris wheel. Whoa, bitch. Yeah, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. We're going to live a little something for the others, right?

We're just shooting Hodgies. What do you got to chill out, bitch? Whoa. You know how shooting Hodgs makes me horny. Like that's their job murdering people. Can't say a hot G can you? They say it, I was doing impression of them. Your job is. I'm sensitive killing people.

Yeah. What are you talking about like HR? What do you mean there's no bullying and harassment and sexual harassment? Why not? Well, you have to do it to them. Fuck yeah! What the fuck are you talking about? Right.

Um, you don't do it. You know, I hate that about the army. Whenever they do this chicken shit like HR stuff, I just don't understand it. Hmm, okay. Seeing how beautiful she looks in a wedding dress, looking into her eyes and saying I do. Bro, what are you fucking talking about? Bringing her to Thanksgiving and telling my family, she's pregnant. Completely unreasonable and unhealthy levels of fantasy. Yeah, you should probably take Lithium. A few days after our first re-encounter, I ran into her and she was getting off work and we actually talked for the first time.

She looked me in the eyes, asked me about myself and I could tell she was subtly inching closer to me as I talked. What? Like slender man? So I leaned against the corrugated wall, put my hand up and said, whoa, whoa, easy. Have you ever done that to a woman? No. No.

No. No. No. No. I didn't even do that when Nicole Byer forcefully tried to blow me backstage at UCB while she was drunk. Yeah. I said go for it. Apparently 14's her limit on schnitz and grooven. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I knew I had to act. I had to get her number. I could tell she was settling inching closer to me

as I talked. Hmm. I had to get her number or ask her on a date or something. I wasn't nervous because I knew she liked me. I had divine confidence that we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Oh my God. Are you serious?

Is this a joke, you know? If he, I can't, it's way too much work for a joke. I know. Well, you never know. I don't think it's a joke. You never know. It could be a really good joke. I know.

And the worst part, I'm afraid he's going to a couple paragraphs down. He's going to say he opened his mouth and told her all these thoughts or texted worse. I played it cool. Yeah, it sounds real cool. And just tried to run into her naturally a few more times before I made a move. So what he just, if you ever tried to do that, like time your schedule to run into a girl, I remember doing that in junior high, like between classes. Oh, yeah, this is the class we're always seeing so and so. I don't think so. Now, fuck you, me either then.

About a month into this, I finally, I finally gave her my number. Now you gotta do the reverse. I figured she would feel more secure getting my number instead of giving hers to a stranger. Yeah, that's the point. You gotta make them feel... A stranger, you guys have actually talked and sat down. She was inching closer to you. I mean, I wouldn't ask her for it.

It's kind of a stranger, right? What do you mean? Yeah. I mean, they're familiar. They're not strangers. Yeah. This bit me in the ass, because she took over 48 hours to finally text me.

That's it. They will do that. Okay, yeah. Is this signed Scott? I don't know. Whatever the Dilbert Asshole is. Shit, I don't know. What I mean, what if Joker had been funny

or if I could remember his name? Did I print it wrong? Hold on, let me see, my printer ran out of it. Did I print it wrong? I print it wrong? Is you? Is you printed it wrong? Um, can you believe my nephew said that?

Did I print it wrong? I'm canceling Pilates. So you like, so you want to be fat? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, give it all out of your system, bud. They'll, so you want to be fat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it all out of your system, bud. They'll start punishing you for that when puberty hits. Mm-hmm.

You're basically untouchable right now. Yeah. Okay. Well, don't read ahead. But once she did tax after 48 hours, we hit it off straight away. She said, my name was cool, called me charming, shared some more about herself, good vibes all around. I asked her out, she said yes,

but next weekend. Okay, that's pretty good. You got to give them time for some reason, because they're annoying. In the first week, I felt like I started going into the store too much and oversharing a bit. Her text started getting shorter and I completely panicked and pulled the emergency shoot on Friday and said, I'll talk to you on Monday. She read that text, but didn't respond. That was the worst weekend I've had in a while. I thought I fucked up the most surefire good thing in my life by being an Autismo.

I pieced my cool guy facade back, and after the conversation started back up on Tuesday, I said, hey, did we ever pick a date in a time for that date? This worked, I guess. She enthusiastically picked Sunday at 10.30 AM, and I was on top, back on top of the world. I knew I just had to text her casually, and not worry if she took a while to respond, because we had a date.

Fast forward to Sunday and the date went about as well as I could have hoped for. We just sat and talked for an hour and a half, shared stories and experiences, then maybe each other genuinely laughed. She looks really cute dressed up. And when it ended, I said, I don't know how to end a date. She said, I could give you a hug and she hugged me. I wish I had savored it more. I was riding high for the rest of the day. I had done all the necessary leg work to make fate happen and now it was happening. We texted back and forth a few times.

At about 7pm, I said, hey, how about the state fair for our next date? It seems like a joke. I was at this point. She texted me, hey, I got to be honest. I had a great time and really enjoyed spending time with you. But I personally don't see this going anywhere dating wise. I have been rejected before and really enjoyed spending time with you, but I personally don't see this going anywhere dating wise. I have been rejected before, and it always feels like my heart drops out of my ass. This just stops me in my tracks and my brain stopped working

because I had literally not even entertained the possibility. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Um, where are we? I asked her if she liked me, and I did something to make her not like me anymore, or if she wasn't romantically interested from the beginning, but just decided to see where it goes.

Yeah, that's cool. I mean, everybody loves these sorts of questions, and it just didn't go anywhere. She said, it's harsher than I would have said it, but it's more the second one. Now here's the thing, I'm almost 27. And she turned 21 a month ago. Pause for Sean noises. When I developed a crush on her, I legitimately thought she was 23 or 24 because she

has a kind of worldliness that someone that young just doesn't have, that's false. I also didn't want to diminish her completely right off her feelings, but I know when I was 21, I was a fucking idiot and I had no idea what I wanted. Part of me still really feels like I have a chance with her. Oh, no. Because she clearly likes me enough to hang out with me. However, another part of me is terrified that she's just the nicest person in the world

and she really means absolutely not no way never in a million years. Do you think it's worth trying to be friends with her? And the hopes that she'll eventually want to date me, i.e. subtle psychological manipulation. Yeah, you said like a master of sucka. You took it right out of my head. You took it right out of my head.

Don't, don't do that. Who's manipulating you here? Don't do that. And if she just didn't ever feel a spark, will she? Do you think it's even worth playing any kind of game at all? I can be around. I can't be around her and never have her.

Oh, so should I just completely give up and move on and resign myself to an eternity of solitude, knowing that I am simply unworthy of love. And there's literally no one in this world for me. Thanks and go fuck yourself. What do you guys think about that one? Pretty normal. Pretty good.

He should definitely still be friends with her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Yeah, especially when like other guys start coming around. It'll be great. And I drive you to your date.

Oh, tell me more about him. He's like a jerk. He sounds like a real jerk, right? You could do a lot better. You could take her to Thanksgiving as like a friend and go like bridal gown, just like fun shopping. Like they're not gonna buy it, but just go like try it on.

It would tend to be take pictures with her, you know. Comments on all their social media. Like, so she, and then she has to step in every time and go like, you're such a great friend. Every post, whittle away, like chip away at your sanity more and more and more. That's what you should do. What do you think?

That do that. And I say, okay, one more advice thing, they'll do what time is it? I got neurotic story. Okay, I got some fat watch too. Hey, Dick and Sean, I'm 24. 24. Actually, you should catfish her as another guy.

Ooh. Right? Do a really handsome guy, like leader on, say you lover, you know, marry your filthy rich. Right. I mean, obviously she's just like if you won the lottery, yeah, it would be of course, then the spark would suddenly be there. Yeah. Right.

Filthy rich guy, her wildest fantasy and then break her heart really meanly. Don't, don't try to turn him into you. Don't try to do a swap. Right. Right. No, you've got to, you've got to really, really pretend to be another person. Right. Be him on Instagram or whatever, by followers.

Use somebody else's like a model's picture. Go crazy with it. How does possible? Yeah. You don't believe anything. Hit honor, flirt with her a lot for like six months. You know, and you be Mr. Normal guy, you have a pretend relationship too, right?

So start telling her like, oh yeah, I mean, my girlfriend, this, that, you know, there I'm taking her, have a pretend relationship that you want with her, but tell her about it. Drop hints, not crazy. Talk to her about a relationship. And then, I've nowhere, just when the hot guy is going to meet up with her and consummate this relationship and get married and all this other shit and all this

money, fucking, nae break up, goaster, what, like just gone into the ether. And then that's when you come, that's when you come in and normal guy. When she's destroyed. Totally destroyed. You come in, say, hey, I broke up with my girlfriend from the army. Not yet. Not yet. You're not breaking up with her yet.

So you're still safe, because you, you saw a girlfriend. She aggressively asked for my phone number. And then let her come to you and let her break up your fake relationship. As every woman's fantasy break up your fake relationship. As every woman's fantasy is breaking up a relationship. There you go.

That's the only way you're gonna get it. So, let me know how that goes. Right. Do it though. So do it. Don't do your way. Do my way. Do the correct psychological manipulation.

Do the correct. Yes. Yeah. Don't do your psychological manipulation of just being nice. Do mine, which is evil and cruel. Okay. Hey, Dick and Sean, I'm 24. I've come to terms with being depressed.

Like Scott, not like Scott Adams. He's come to terms. Yeah. I don't know. Nothing is funnier than that. Like some, some filthy, rich old boomer crying about pretending to kill himself. It's just so performative to me. Like that's the thing when you do it to the masses, like he's got to have like fucking millions of followers, right?

I don't know what he has on. I mean, I've come to terms of being depressed. The reason for depression is most likely due to trauma. Cancer from six to nine. Is that a joke? 69 cancer? Hmm. Doesn't seem like it.

Why would he put that? I've never heard someone say cancer from age to age. And here, I mean, 69. I had cancer of 69. Abuse joke. And cancer of 69. I don't believe you. I have a job, friends, and an amazing family.

Life is great, but my depression still exists. Look at how he format it. His email, like like Emily Post or Emily, what's the poet? Dickinson Emily Dickinson. Life is great, but my depression still exists. Emily Dickinson. Yeah, she killed herself, right? Oh, yeah, didn't she? I think she did. Yeah. They found all her poems afterwards that dumb bitch. I don't know about it. She didn't even know. Yeah, I think so. Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know that. Let me look it up.

Oh, Sylvia Plath. Sylvia Plath. Yes, thank you. Sylvia Plath. She killed herself. Yep. Emily Simpson. Yep, you're right.

Suicide. How did Emily Dickinson kill herself? She did kill herself. Oh, no, hypertension. Not soon enough. She died. Heart failure. Yeah.

Hypertension. So yeah. Huh, okay. Other vaccine injury. Um. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Life is great. That guy talking about motion capture. Completely fucking missed it. I mean the intention you goddamn moron. You're fucking idiot. It's not the intention, meaning raising your eyebrow. Fucking motion kept. Jesus.

Yes. Yes. I know they know cap. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You got a pre-bunk that shit, Sean. Jesus, I get it right. He's pre-bunked this stuff. Is it okay? And another life is great, but my depression still exists.

Well, that sucks. Is it wrong to ignore the weight on my shoulders? Or should I seek help? Well, you're doing that now, what do you mean? Is it wrong to ignore the weight on my... I mean, what you're carrying stuff? What do you mean? No, I mean, is it wrong?

You don't want to ignore it, dude. Like, you obviously don't want to ignore it. So if you seek help, you're not, how's it going right now? Like, it's not great. It's not gonna get worse trying something different. You should go tell people that if you're better in a year, you're gonna maybe think about wanting to kill yourself.

But not more than two years. Yes. You know what in a year, you're gonna maybe think about wanting to kill you. But not more than two years. Yes. You know what I'm gonna, it's on, but broken record in this shit. Seek help. What's the worst that can happen? Make sure you get a hot therapist though. Right. Go ahead.

Hey, get fat there. When you're picking a therapist, you should be interviewing them. People don't know that. Do they have like a Tinder style app where you could pick, match them? Therapist? Well, that would be into that. Yes, really. Really?

In effect. Not in effect, like a picture of them. No, not a swipe left. I don't know about super likes. No, there's probably pictures. I mean, they're professional pictures. That's like traveling and stuff. You can find people who specialize in like the kind of problems

that you have or like, you know, depending on specializes into problems I have, Sean. That is true. Is it wrong to ignore the weight on my shoulders or should I seek help? I work out five to six days a week at a gym. Oh, did you see that? I don't know. Someone sent me this thing that said like working out makes your muscles absorb depression. What? Now, you mean like it, like absorbs chemicals that cause depression or that, I don't know,

I didn't read it. Well, I mean, I, we know that working out is good for your mental state overall. I mean, just, I mean, I mean, it's, no, it's, yeah, I don't know what the physiology is or what they know or what they don't know with that, but it's, yeah, I don't know what the physiology is or what they know or what they don't know with that, but it's, yeah, good, good. You're working out. I work out five to six days a week at a gym, but I dull everything with booze most nights. Yeah, that's fine.

I've been with girls. It's fine if you just want to keep feeling the way you feel. Yeah, just stop writing. I dull everything with booze most nights. I've been with girls throughout college and after, but not in any meaningful way. Not sure what advice I'm asking for, but I need something.

I mean, no, maybe she's kind of have to come to terms with the fact that it's kind of just the way life is. I think that people get chilled, happiness too much, that they're supposed to be happy. Happy is not a real thing. Yeah. It's being okay. Okay doesn't sound that impressive,

but like a lot of people are not okay. Yeah. I'm not okay with how I feel I'm not okay with things. Like being okay is an amazing fucking thing. Yeah. And you have to have not been okay to know the difference. And it's like that's happy is not a, oh, you can have everything you want. You can attain your dreams.

It's like not just happy is a, it's a, it's a, nobody's happy. It's easier. It's easier to get older. You're happy sometimes. You're happy. I'm really happy in this specific situation, but nobody goes through life, quote unquote, happy. They're okay.

They're okay. They have problems and they know they can deal with it and they can enjoy this. They can be in the moment with that. But it's like, yeah, I would say go talk to somebody. You might be amazed at how you can think differently or get some perspective on, you know, like, yeah, I have no doubt that childhood trauma does, you know, 69 cancer.

Well, yeah, I mean, I would think that's a big deal in your childhood when all your friends are going to school and playing outside and you're fucking sick as shit. Yeah. friends are going to school and playing outside and you're fucking sick as shit. Yeah. Uh, threaten to kill yourself. Like Scott Adams does. Man, it works for you. See if that were, you know, it might be that guy, man. I get some good, you might get some good attention out of it. That's obviously what he's, it's obviously what Scott Adams is looking for. I get laid. I guess. Yeah. Uh, it gets easier. Don't do any, don't do anything crazy while you're young. Uh, because eventually he's just like, oh man, if I kill myself, I got to do so much

fucking bookkeeping and shit before I go. I got to write down all my passwords and all this crap. I got to delete these. I just, I don't have enough time. I don't have enough time to do it today. Too busy to kill myself. Yeah. Uh, okay.

Let's try this one. This is from Grimis. I love that ad so much. I love it. Virgin, who is this for driving around their cargo? And those fuckers, they're now they're doing it to pictures, not just video. What these? Yeah, it's like, you know, they're listening to a podcast. They can't see shit, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, we described it pretty good. Yeah, yeah. But you kind of have to see it. You do have to see it.

Why does, so that's, she's like pretending to be a rapist too. So why does that add, including like the type and everything, why does that look like an ad from like the 80s? I don't know. Does that not look really old? Like it's, yeah, it looks like a, it looks like Smokey the Bear.

It looks like a dare ad. It looks fucking retarded. Okay, here's another retarded thing. This is from Virgin Atlantic. Oh boy. The airlines, the greatest service industry we have is a species. Virgin Atlantic, see the world differently, okay.

It's like Black lady putting on lipstick. Oh, she's not putting on the lipstick! Oh shit! She's going out with natural lipstick! Oh no! I don't want praise. Now she's late. There's a hot lady looking at another lady, I guess.

I don't know, a chance. Did you see that? Yeah. Okay, hot girl, cocking at a trans, Is that a chance? Did you see that? Yeah. Okay. Hockerel. Gawking at a trans... Sman or? Dude, you got me.

I don't know. What the fuck? Well, I mean, I'm gawking, as I'm pausing it to figure out what's going on. So I guess I'm guilty of the same thing the Hockerel's doing. I don't know. Is that a trans woman or a guy?

But what the? What are they wearing? What ams them wearing? Back it up a little bit. I want to see this outfit. What the fuck kind of outfit is this? Serious. Fucking not a total no.

I still don't know if those are men's or women's clothes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Colors. No, no, it's a man's clothes because the buttons are going to the right. Look, they're right hand buttons. We got good clothes. It's a man's coat. The buttons are on the right, right?

No, the button, they're right handed. Yes. The women's buttons you push with your left hand. The men's are like right handed buttons. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And women can't even get them to change that.

So what pain in the end? We're supposed to just think that this is a man. Well, it's wearing a man's clothes. Is there a stool on there? Let's see. I mean, I don't think it another look at this. I don't think this is a trans man. I think this... I know that. That's a warm ass. Is there five o'clock shadow that's screen glass?

That's just a guy. Looking like an asshole. I'm so confused. Okay, well, that's a guy. That's just a guy. This is what they dress like and fucking Britain now or something. So it's just a guy guy that's just a that's a guy

This is what they dress like and fucking Britain now or something is it so it's just a man He's giving a look that's now that is just wrong. That's wrong More sexual harassment gonna pick it against this okay, let's see here Then she falls right almost A wheelchair man with a basketball. Hahaha. Wait, what the hell was that? Like a speed racing wheelchair man? How's he gonna get that through the metal detector?

Sometimes. Why is he running? He's got a, why is he doing the equivalent of a running and drop the pipe bomb? Hahaha. He's in the IRA. Yeah, you think? Is this the UK? Okay, we're done. I think he just dropped a pipe bomb. He's in the IRA. Yeah. You think?

Is this the UK? Okay, we're done. Why does he have a rhinestone? They're a�. They're a�. They're a�. They're a�. They're a�.

Man, like he's got the asshole. The dazzler from the, you know, how come you have a no card scoing a million miles an hour driven by the most obnoxious Black lady in the world. I was spenters shouting at you. You have this r ribs, Jesus. Okay. Looks like Gavin McKinnis in a wheelchair. Oh, is that the old lady with tongue studs?

Those aren't fair or magnetic. Oh yeah, they just let her through too. She just flashes her tongue, right? And it's like, we're not going to investigate that anymore. Okay. Yes. Is that Prince? Why isn't he wearing a skirt? There's a black guy that looks like Prince is a steward steward.

Looks just like him. This is what a weird commercial. Oh, that's what Gremis's point was. Who's this for? And each bangle. Why? Shaq. Glacian.

School girl. Okay. The old lady. Oh, lady pilot. Uh-oh, big mistake. Woo-hoo-hoo. All right, whatever. And you know that that's for the last and lazy with that. The last thing they're going to see in that ad was there's going to be a bunch of fucking hate mail.

It's like, why that woman pilot have to be white? Well, why did she? I'm sick of seeing white ladies and stuff. I think they covered everything, didn't they? Yeah, they got a, the white man was handicap. Right. And then they got everyone else. That's true.

White man was handicap and a woman, or we couldn't tell. All right, whatever. God, that was okay. Hey, dick, politician releases sex tape to boost campaign. Not only a matter of time. There you go. I'm free to use my real name if you use this on the show. Oh, thanks.

Mike Itkis, a sex positive New York Democrat released a sex tape where he banged an only fans model in order to prove his commitment to his ideals. His ideals are legalized adultery. Is it not? Legalized? Well, is adultery illegal? Well, maybe in divorce court, if there's a state where they can find somebody at fault,

because a lot of states are like no fault states, it doesn't matter why you're fucking splitting up, right? Yeah. That's the only way I could think of it. Legalized, I am definitely not a divorce lawyer. Legalized, uh, sex work. I am a politician who's released a sex tape, though. Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool.

Uh, legalized, oh yeah, legalized sex work. And another platform thing he has is men should not have to support their biological children without prior consent. Great. I agree. Um, and you did a second say. This guy's really going for it. Yeah.

Uh, I don't know that he had to, that he had to release a sex tape to like say that, oh, it's a prostitute should be legal. It's quite a commitment. I think you just say I went to a prostitute. It doesn't need to record it. He, right? Putting his money where his mouth is. Something where his mouth is. That's him. That's him. Wait, what is that? What's that? He's like a military guy too. No, that's not him, is it? Is that? I don't know. Uh, 2022 continues to, yeah, they should send these political mailers out

and i would have a problem with it it's amazing oh my he's a democrat with uh... with a career in the military and a set how does he lose doesn't it don't doesn't get a hundred percent of the votes i gotta tell you this one uh... somebody i know uh... got sent me a picture of uh...

one of those. You know how they text you out of nowhere? See, like, are you registered to vote? Are you gonna vote? Sure, yeah. Let me read so I can get their quote exactly. They sent a big thing. Don't be fooled by Prop 30.

Oh, yeah, they'll have 80s girls sent to this. Don't be fooled by prop 30. Governor Gavin Newsom, the California Teachers Association, a major blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, is a corporate welfare scheme disguised. Pay for no. And she says to the person, I was raped by a lift driver. Can he help with that? He said, have a good day.

So 80s girl put that? There you go. That's great. That's great. The mics mic it can help with that. Oh wait, that's not him, is it? Let's see. And Tim. Okay. Legalized? Yeah, he said all those things. Legalized adultery, legalized sex work. Men should not have to support their biological children. Yes, absolutely.

And there's this hot, only fans girl talking to the camera. I don't know why they put this music next to it. She's saying something to prove that he's really about that life. He hired an only fans girl to make a porn with him. Wait, you can do that? Do you can you do that on only fans? Hire them to make a porn with you? I mean, I think.

Oh, I got a fire on my fan. I think there's probably just about everything you can. Mm-hmm. everything you can. What? Why did they cut it like this? So he's just a sex tape. Now we're watching this old guy that looks like Stanley Tucci, get blown. What the fuck? Oh my god. I'm a liberal with drastically different views, not one that marches in lockstep with the Democratic Party. [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing Oh my God, they're kissing a lot.

What the? This is fucking for real? Oh, that's real. No, I mean, this is really the guy. This guy exists. Oh my God. All right. Okay.

Yeah, that's cool. Jesus Christ. Hmm. Let's see her Instagram. How many followers does she have? We should have her call in. She's in LA. Oh, shit. There you go.

Oh, she's also followed by that chick with the huge tits that took those merch pictures for me. Cool, let's get her to come in. The Nicole Sage. All right. Thank you for the email. Guy, D.B. Cooper. Oh, let's see. Something about cops.

Thing. All right. You want to do fat watch? Yeah. And let's see what else we got. Maybe I can, maybe I can somehow in my mind ask my girlfriend to bring me another beer using the power of my... Do you have enough wire with all for a Diet Coke too?

Maybe I'll try to add to your tongue. Can you sing that? I'm gonna, like, hard. Do it harder, harder trying to do it. Okay, let's see if it counts where. If it doesn't, if I don't get a beer, I'll kill myself. And how long? I don't know.

Before, after the voicemails. Like before. Before. Definitely before. Oh, good. I'm not on that. I can tell that you are serious. Like, our boomers now going to do that when they don't get their way.

Oh, we're cutting Medicare because we don't have any money. Well, we're going to kill ourselves now. Oh, we're cutting Medicare because we don't have any money. Well, we're gonna kill ourselves now. I hope you're happy. Just, if you're canceling Medicaid at all, we're just gonna kill ourselves. I hear footsteps, you might live. We're gonna kill ourselves. Okay, well, we're doing,

we're not gonna, we're not gonna lower rates for a little bit because like, to give kids a chance to buy houses at a cheaper price, well, I'm killing myself. I'm killing myself. If I take a loss on this house, I'm gonna kill myself. I don't have any time left. Yeah, I'm just gonna end it. I'm not selling my vacation home.

Yeah, I'm taking a permanent vacation. I might think about starting to kill myself, honestly, if these rates don't go down. And my house isn't worth a hundred billion dollars. Yay, thank you. Well, where thank you worked. Thank you, thank you guys. Maybe we shouldn't send a hundred billion dollars to Ukraine.

Well, we're gonna kill ourselves. We can't take Putin anymore. Hope you're happy that you basically made me pull the trigger on myself and kill myself. Look what you made me do. Here's fan watch. I think we talked about that one. Kirk sends this one.

Okay. Oh, well, this should be exciting. Sean, it's some sort of a blindfolded dating practical joke. As you see here, there is a lasianazy dude. Sitting on the left of the table. And there's a whale. Sitting on the right of the table and they're both blindfolded. Having a date. This is just mean...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. To whom? Just the... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to everyone. Watch a lot of anime. I will. Oh, okay. Can you hear if she's fat? We should play that game. Chicks talking where we have to close our eyes and guess if they're fat or not. Can you hear her raise an eyebrow?

Okay, here's the fat girl with pink hair talking to the Asian dude. Watch a lot of anime. I watch. Me too. A lot of Asian shows like Korean dramas. What is your type? I'm definitely very into Asian men.

It's not like a deal breaker. Watch a lot. Not a deal breaker. What kind of thing is that? Oh. Can we talk? Sure. Oh, you see the Asian man figured it out.

That's pretty. Oh, what a fucking brilliant man. That was really smart. Uh- out. That's pretty. Oh, what a fucking brilliant man. That was really smart. That was really smart. His ancestors are proud today. Can we hug? Oh, you think we can hug?

Since you're so into anime. That would be very nice for me. Oh my God, dude. They get up and hug. He's got a lot of stuff in clothes. What do you think the roller coaster of emotions looks like in his head? Does it just is he vomiting?

I'm a coaster already like it's fucking a man. That must be a shock. That is a like there be too much of a shock. She's into anime. Yeah, but he's got he's already got it in his head like that she's something else. Oh man. He might be going like well, she's probably not, you know, like super hot, but like I probably wouldn't be embarrassed to go on a public.

Oh, that's just not telling her that them, at least guys who are like deadbeats will wear their insecurity on their skin fat women skinning, they're all act exactly the same. Okay, let's see how he handles it. They have a button in the middle that they can use to end the date, the blind date. Let's see what happens. Sure.

Okay. Hi. How are you? Good. Good. Oh my God. What? Oh.

Oh. He immediately ended the day. Yeah. Is it? Nope. Dude, how tall is that day. Yeah, is it? Nope. Dude, how tall is that guy or how short is she? What do you mean? When they stood up and hugged. Oh, wow.

Like, maybe he's very tall. She literally looks like a pair. Like, that's crazy. Like the proportions are exact. That's kind of me and Sean. Let's see this one's from Clown World. It doesn't exist, someone ate it. Okay, Ben Ellis says,

I came here looking for MMA videos, but I leave infuriated. All right, let's see what you got here, Ben. Today's, oh, so he goes to this place for MMA videos, and this is the video that they've decided to show today. It's today's training to eventually be able to do the full Chun Li He a cool that su kaiyaku very good does does kicks Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh... doing the chanley's kicks from the street fighter game where uh... so got her hit bangs over face like the crow oh god she's doing lots of pretend

martial arts and the lightsaber that that kid that's been around that's an oldie for you all of the publics on you want to be got it kick hurricane no all y'all y'all y'all for you. Oh, look at those powerful kicks, John. You wouldn't want to be got in that kick hurricane. No, firebending, just kidding. Oh, just kidding about. I thought she was going to do it. You know, it's a powerful kick you. Oh, man, that side kick.

Honey, those, what are they? Hip flexors over here? What's this muscle? I don't know. I don't know. The obliques need a lot of work. Let's start there. Hip flexor needs some work.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Wow. She could probably pull off Blanca. Very good now. Yeah, that's good. Or whatever, what was that guy's name? Hanja? She probably just...

He always looked like, Blanca always looked like he was just like, but he was struggling to breathe. And he's standing, he just be like, and that's her. It's like after turning the camera on and walking back to her mark. Chen Lee is the only person in the game I don't want to see you imitating.

Yeah. And Bison, Dalson, maybe, I don't know, be funny. Definitely the 100 hand slap though. Okay. Tony from Hacked Mov movies submits this. Really, I watch. Let's see. Even the Italians are getting into it.

Uh, shine. Y'all couldn't find a plus size model. What the fuck is this? Okay. What the fuck is this indeed? Solid plus, all right? Seems to be hilarious. Look at how big it can go. Think you're too fat for these?

Seems to be. Think again, pair of stretch pants, where the model is advertising their stretchiness by putting a five gallon. I think it's a three gallon. Oh, really? They make three gallons, like a pony keg of water. Well, she has a giant, oh yeah, you're right.

She has a giant bottled water, like not a bottle of water, like one of those ones you flip upside down and put on a cooler dispenser in her pants with her. put on a cooler dispenser in her pants with her to simulate two of her fatness of any sort of woman. Right. Good for them. They probably thought people getting really sick of seeing a bunch of fat whores with

our wearing our pants are not buying them because it grows out. But maybe if we put a skinny, I mean, not even skinny. No. A little bit chubby of a woman. Yeah. And throw a bunch of equipment in her pants with her. Yeah. Maybe that'll be more appealing. That's shy.

That's what's hilarious. Like, the fact that they didn't want a plus size model. Sick of all. Now that they couldn't find it, of course, they could find it. Yeah. And in their other product picture, they have a woman just sticking her hands down in the pants and stretching them out like a child that's imitating a fat person going, do you think this? Do you think this is because they would get emails talking about fat

shaming by putting fat models in this? I really don't know. Look at what you've got. I have no idea how this came to be. It came to be. It came to be. It came to be. It came to be. It came to be. It came to be. It came to be.

She just a model your clothes. But they love it. Did they just try to squeeze the fat stuff in? Like, we don't want to hire a whole fat lady to do this. Like, let's just take our regular model and put a ball in. Yes, maybe a giant water bottle. And maybe it's all the same girl, right? Okay. Is that all? Oh my God. Maybe all a giant water bottle and maybe it's all the same girl, right?

Okay. Is that all? Oh my God. Oh yeah, that looks to be all of what is this? Is that a? Is that a? What's he do? Is that a massage brush? That's what it's going to say. Oh yeah, look at that. I think I really do.

She's doing. We're really doing. Look at she's doing resistance training with them. Ha! It's like, it's like physical therapy. Look at how fucking fat our pants are. I've got it all the way out. Right. Ha!

Ha! My physical therapist is that to strengthen my deltoids and fat, you'll love our pants. Skate, you get a good workout. Seriously. We neither way. My physical therapist is that to strengthen my deltoids and fat, you'll love our pants. Skate, you get a good workout. Seriously. We win either way. Yeah. Plus size, but they're not, you're not plus.

Well, maybe you are. I don't know what the official term is. I don't know. I mean, she's not huge. Yeah, she's not huge. Oh, oh, maybe they're just like a silly company. Oh, pineapple. This is all the same company?

I don't know. It doesn't say shine on it. All right. Thanks, Tony. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. What's the pine apple? Of all the things you could have gotten, have you put it a pineapple in there?

Of course. The stockings are gonna get a run. This is from Mr. Oxy, this is the last one. Oh, it's gone. And it's gone. Thanks a lot guys. Okay. Patreon.com slash the Dix show.

New. See you next Tuesday. Check out the bonus episode. Patreon.com slash the Dix show. We did cash floor clips. I really want to clip those. They're so funny. Let me see if these guys posted it.

They're great. They are great. Yeah, they just do screenshots. It's just, him as a host is just not, I don't know who thought that was a good idea. As soon as he obviously, you know, read for it, or they did something, they didn't just shoot. They didn't just go into production.

Somebody goes, yeah, yeah, totally it's working. Yeah, he probably says, well, I'm the host of a big comedy podcast, so, you know, I have the chops. Yeah, yeah, you nailed it. Uh, let's see. Which music celebrity interrupt the Taylor Swift during her speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards? Man, everybody knows that's Kanye West.

Kanye West. Kanye West. Yes, correct. You guys are on fire. Alright, man. Alright. I guess I have a problem that something that Kanye West did that was terrible has resulted in somebody winning something.

Kanye West everyone knows. Oh god. This is, they have to like, cut and talk about the issues too. Let me get a blow up of that one. Okay. Music celebrity interrupt the Taylor Swift during her speech at the two. Okay.

Waiting for the thing. Connie, what everyone knows, famous interruption. It's dead that was terrible. Has result in somebody looking good, something you think with a different color pocket. Yeah, that's a good, yeah. This is a good color for him. It matches your skin tone almost exactly.

So it looks like an hour in shirt, except for this pocket floating over here. And yeah, well, it's to, it's honestly, probably to match her if somebody was on their game at all. Like they, the only way to match her is to just remove him. Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah.

They don't have that kind of post budget. Yeah, let me hear this commentary on Kanye again. I said that was terrible. Has result in in somebody winning something. What Kanye did was terrible. This is a guy who like make fun of Christopher Reeve being handicap and that little girl getting kidnapped is saying that Kanye interrupting an award show was terrible.

Yeah, it's hardly the, who gives a fuck about what? It's not the worst thing it's ever been done in a award show. Yeah, if he would have burned it down, it would have been hilarious. Like, oh, look at me, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm so fucking kidding. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming.

After Will Smith, it was like, oh, Kanye, that was so funny when he did that. Uh-huh. Okay. Cool. Can't wait to see more of those. Oops. I forgot to play the theme song. Is that thing? Whoa, whoops. Whoops.

Whoops. Sorry. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.ops, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dick, hey Sean. Hey, Scott. Just starting the newest bonus episode. Yeah. You guys put out. And you know, every now and then,

it doesn't happen too often, but once in a while, you come across across something or something comes out of the ether where you can't help but think to yourself, you know, I'm really glad I haven't killed myself. thing is Maddox on a game show with a hot ass chick failing three times in a row. Say the Alamo. Yeah. The Lala, the Lala, the Lala, the Lala, the Lala, the Lano Almano. I'm not great. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, fuck you, Scott Adams. Oh, that was great.

See, if you don't kill yourself, don't worry, you still get to die and something might happen until then. Like, something funny might happen. You never know. You got to wake up and remember that every way. Don't worry, eventually they'll all be dead. Yeah, it's fine. And so will you.

Yeah, it's perfect. It's a perfect system. And that should make you very happy. Yeah, it's such a huge good. The only time you're actually happy, you know, okay, moment. Now I'm happy. I don't need a therapist to tell me that. Hey, Dick, Sam, since this is number one, so you're welcome. Number. Oh, also, thank you for all the time. And me, a Patreon subscriber. My followers watched the YouTube video. What a bonus episode.

I have never actually seen what Arks Madd looks like. Yeah, it's very good. Dumb. If you're not following again the video, like, uh, yeah, dumb. If you know, only again, the video, you're missing out in the same nightmares that I wasn't with these two hours ago. So please join me. Smoochess. Was he recording that like right after he came or something?

Oh, is that? I don't know, yeah, he's pretty well. He's pretty well. I got a call, there's a, yeah. Oh, I've never seen an ox man. I always wonder what some people are doing who call in. Yeah. Like you can tell some people are driving,

some people are like on speaker phone out in public. Yeah. Oh shit, I gotta show you this. I was gonna show you, but Twitter and me. My nephew's doing Pokemon cards now. Oh yeah, I know. Bam, bam. Now he's making them.

Oh, right. Right, let me show you the, Oh, you showed me a couple of these. Yeah, did I show you this last week? Oh, did I last week? Oh shit. Well, here. How about their powers and stuff?

Yeah, yeah, maybe I did. Maybe I already showed you let me play another one. I'll find it Hey, it's too long boys. My guy. I've just got a small man for you Touching up on episodes have been behind so I'm just on this episode where you had Trader Ralfon Mm-hmm, spoken easy and Ralph celebrating I've been on, spoken even in Ralph's celebrating getting banned off Twitter and YouTube for a while. I think you said Pac-Dance. That's what I heard.

Yeah. That fucking cock-soaker, I've been driving all the way fucking Knoxville and B2Shit out of that dude. Oh, no. Paying me on Twitter and everything, fuck that guy. Like really, you're happy somebody got banned off YouTube. That's where you make your money too. You're fucking moron. Oh.

You're not going to come for you dropping F-bombs and everything. Me? No, I'm fine. I already came for Ralph. You're still my Ralph, right? Yeah. Dude, there he got Ralph. You're an idiot.

You shouldn't be celebrating censorship on the platform that you're on yeah who got that i missed it stupid mother fucker he's driving when you see a you were a little bit funny but you've got to do it like

uh... killed but i don't think he's gonna get it good time to y'all make it. Time to y'all. Well, you know, you can celebrate the... It's not maybe a little bit drunk. You can celebrate harm happening to people you don't like.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. American is apple pie. You don't always have to... Oh, always sticking by your principles is... That's not for me. Oh, sure. I wish for bad things to happen to a lot of people and I'm happy when they do. Yeah, man, I murdered, but it's like, well, you know, I was an asshole.

That's a common. Yeah. I suck. Shouldn't have got to ask murdered. I don't think I've seen this one. I'll show you this one. He does these. My nephew, Bam Bam does these.

It's the Pokemon of Uncle. It has 350 hit points of fighting Pokemon. Explosive fart is the first attack, put a stink token on defending Pokemon. And then the second attack, which has two fairy energies, and he wouldn't explain to me why that was so funny, is die, and it does 350 damage to itself. And it says, I am dead, does damage to itself. Wow, this kid's a bit observing your life. Well, very funny. And it says, if you pay extra close attention down here,

it says, Uncle is insane, The flavor text of the card. I think this kid might be a genius. And I said, well, why would I do, why would I use the attack that kills myself? It's why would I use that attack? And he goes, Why do you do drugs in alcohol, Uncle? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know, if you're on Patreon, fucking funny. Post your picture and he'll make cards of you. He said, he made one of 80s girl.

Oh my God, this, oh his of 80s girls, fucking hilarious. This is before he said that, so you want to be fat. Yeah. Yeah. Canceling Pilates, okay. So you want to be fat, fine with, yeah. I only play another boy's male. What does he like, six or seven?

I think he's six. So this morning, I'm taking my three-year-old daughter to the donut store. And as I'm getting her out of the car, this SUV pulls up in the spot next to me aggressively. And these three women pop out who all somewhat resemble like Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. You know, they're just sure. And fat with funny little arms and legs. And then scurry off into the zone of store right ahead of me in a personal thing because God damn it, because it's bad enough to get stuck behind one fat lady at the zone of

store. And that's three. That's a long time. I'm not having a fat lady up the phone and it's all three. That's a long time fat ladies. So we walk it through there and these three planets have aligned themselves. I heard that. It's such a way that you cannot see any of the zone and I'm pissed. And my kids especially because they're working as a team. They can't even don't get this or is this you go look at all those amazing donuts, right?

Yeah, oh, they're blocking out the sun. Yeah. Oh, they're putting in a catering-sized order of all the donuts that you've got about a dozen. Okay. Honestly, you've got like one of those breakfast croissant sandwiches with very specific instructions on how to get it. So they get, right. Well, they can a cat. So they get right.

Well, they can't have dessert until they've eaten. So I. They kind of stuff it off to the sides of cash register. We get to look at the donors all the way. Yeah. Like the glass and shit is all swept up. And yeah, it's covered. Oh, disgusting. Like, see this donut on the top.

It's a maple bar with the, with the strips of bacon stuck into the top. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. And you want it. That's my donut. Yes. Right there. I got my name on it.

I have put up a lot of shit before, but this is going to look better. And then one of them sees it. I hear stuff. It's like one of those pictures say, I need one more donut. Oh no. The dogs came out. They grabbed my donut and put it in that kitchen box. Ah, crammed in the box. There's, do you want another box? There's no room for you. No cram it in there. It's all going in the same place. Yeah. Good. That fucking bitch. I don't have bitch.

They only had one of those though. I guess they, you know, I guess they're probably their burp popular. They make them all in the morning, you know, and they sell them out. Yeah, that's true. Whatever they sell out. Yeah. Here was the, I'm not going to put this card on. Just messed up.

Here was the card that Bambam made of 80s girl. Uh, unexpected teacher. That's the name of the fairy card. Bad fat diet. The first. The first. Attack. Your opponent fainted and then meany.

The second one. Your opponent has 65,000 pages of homework. Oh my God. Scott her pegged. I said, why is it unexpected? He goes, nobody wants that much homework. Yeah. He's got complete reasons for everything.

It's already thought through. It's like, what do you mean? Why is it expected? When you expect fucking 65,000 pages of homework? Well, that's true. Okay. Fat woman in the dump store. Pretty good.

Let's try Vito hate. Yeah, I know this isn't the biggest problem. No one listens anyway. I do care. I just want to say, man, I think I actually don't quite get the Vito hate me there. Yeah, I don't really like the guy but I think he fits on the show. Great. Um, he hated Maddox. He think Maddox should have been on the biggest problem like he that's partly why the show was so good. Yeah, different. for you. I don't know why you think that pretending to get pedo is falling. I mean, I'm just stupid of it. It's like a different kind of land.

It is funny. Whatever, man. I think it's still, I don't quite get all of the vitriol, like, fucking actual, maybe they're all jumping to it. I literally don't get the kind of picture. All right. What I think it's just fun to maybe so hate Vito. I think he likes it.

Yeah, he definitely likes it. Yeah. But there are some people who just hate him, there's some people who hate him like, like the way you hate the Iron Sheik. Like, oh man, I fucking hate the Iron Sheik. Like, yeah, but I love when, you know, obviously I love watching wrestle.

There's a lot of people who like hate Vito like that. But then there's some people like, oh, well, you shouldn't, you know, obviously I love watching Wrestle. There's a lot of people who's like, hate Vito like that, but then there's somebody who's like, oh, well, you shouldn't, you know, you shouldn't even have that guy around. Like, well, what are you talking about? He's hardly the think of this. He's like, yeah. What are you watching?

What do you want to watch? Right. Uh, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, good at it. But he is, he is fun. He's fun to hate and he does love it. Okay, one more hey deck Tucker Dixie again. I got one more for you What's the lowest price you'll take? That's my rage when try to film it online somebody calls you up and goes Yeah, what's the lowest price you'll take the fucking price I have on there? Oh, but what's the lowest you'll take look I'm not gonna do the negotiating for you. I have my own expense. Yeah, you negotiate you want to you take? Look, they're not going to do the negotiating. What's the lowest price? Have my own expense. You negotiate. You want

to offer me $30 for this $40 thing? Offer it. But don't ask me to offer it. You fuck it. What's the lowest price? Okay. That's all I got. Give me another price. Start throwing out some offers until we get to a price that I want. It's the lowest price you'll take. I don't want to offer a number that's lower if there's an amount lower than that that you would have taken. So you start there. Right.

All right, goodbye everyone. See you. Thank you.