The Dick Show - Episode 35 – Dick on Peach

Episode Date: January 31, 2017

Download the MP3 Crying in front of other men, a strip club ghost town, The Delete-o Bantido rides again, Peach Saliva and her extremely inappropriate fan fiction, a DickHead divides Shia LaBeouf, getting your money back, peeing sitting down, liquor gravity, Sean gets legit upset, The Dick Show RPG, a meteor of money, a hot … Continue reading "Episode 35 – Dick on Peach" The post Episode 35 – Dick on Peach appeared first on The Dick Show.

is Ah! Ah! Welcome to Dig! You need dig, you want dig, you love dig, you got it. It's the show where everything is a contest. I mean, it's the show that comes to you from a mountain bunker, from an indestructible bunker in the side of a mountain. We've bored into the earth to bring you ha ha comedy. We're mining into the comedy minds of LA. We're dipping into it.

Where's God, I've got a series of dwarves and monsters down here. Mining for God, I've got a bunch of children like Raiders of the like the Temple of Doom. I had comedy veins. Yes, I've like a dude like a nice gold or silver vein. I got a little boy runs up to me and he's like, oh, I found a big vein of comedy. I'm like, you dig that fucking comedy out of there?

Like Teddy Roosevelt, even though he didn't do that. He never did that with what I'm describing is a fantasy, but the attitude of Teddy Roosevelt to tap into that comedy vein. You dig in that you bastard, get that comedy on the conveyor belt, toward the rock crusher. That Indiana Jones was almost crushed by and then he pulls up because that little asshole was stabbing him in the back, sticking him in the back with the voodoo doll, the guy with the voodoo doll was going, ah, ah, Indiana Jones sprawled out. And then in the next, see that happens to Indiana Jones that he's got a voodoo attack on his back and then short-round kills that guy and we're all supposed to believe that the next year, not only is short-round

just gone, I guess he died or was adopted or something. The next year in Indiana Jones's life, he says to Marcus, I don't believe in Hocus-Pocus mumbo jumbo. Motherfucker, you saw a guy get his heart ripped out through his chest and you don't believe, what do you believe in Hocus Pocus Mumbo jumbo. Mother fucker, you saw a guy get his heart ripped out through his chest and you don't believe, what are you believe in? What the fuck are you talking about? Why did they make it a prequel? With me is always his Sean the audio engineer.

Yes, I am. Hey, what's up, buddy? And today the very beautiful joining us in the studio, the Queen of Rage. Oh, I think. Peach saliva. Hello. Absolutely stunning. Oh, stunning. each peach saliva. Hello, absolutely stunning stunning peep. An angel do go on an angel if I if if if the if church knew what was good for them,

they would update all their iconography and have a woman is beautiful as peach. As sitting that would be that's the because they're all their stuff is old and looks like a guy. All the church or it looks like a guy just learned to draw and he's drawing it with crayons. Let's update this fucking shit. What are you guys thinking? You think it's gonna look like this for the rest of time? Figure it out. It's some hot rods on there.

Fucking figure it out. Beautiful. Beautiful, the beautiful peach saliva. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for having me, guys. A twitcher. Yeah. Which is playing video games and people watch you play video games

Yeah, it's the only way to fly man It's the only way to fly when it comes to video games. Yeah, he's watching other people play video games Really do you actually like this? Yeah, man. Yeah, I watch about what people play video games I want to play video games embarrass myself fuck things up watch play people play them correctly You watch other people embarrass themselves. Yeah. What happens if the person who's playing is not entertaining in the least?

No, they should be talking and stuff, right? Or do you just really want to see them play video games? I just want to watch and play the game. I want to see and beat the game. Yeah. You know, they could be annoying and take me out of it. Like, you're a good though. They'd be good though.

At video games? Yeah. They could cut it though. They cut out all the mistakes. That's what video games. Yeah, they could cut it though. They cut out all the mistakes. That's what they did. Yeah, I thought it was live. You're tight with the super best friends, right? My boyfriend is a Pat angriest Pat from Super Best Friend.

Yeah, great, great, great, great collection of video game playing. Yeah, they're great. They're incredible. They don't distract from the video games. No big. They're just talking about the video games. They're not, you know, playing it up. Look at her using the stereos as a stepping stone.

Oh. Well, he lets women walk all over him all in any way. He likes it. Might as well get somewhere. He likes it. Oh, spicy bans. Spicy bans. Spicy bans.

Shhh. Do you want to talk about why we're doing this? Why I'm doing this pickup intro? Yeah. Because the audio was all fucked up again. Uh huh. Got all messed up. We got your eye on this one.

Yes. I mean, I hope the other one is still around because it was really tense and uncomfortable. And you got really pissed off. I was pissed off. I was picking on you. It was good. I was pissed off.

I was pissed off. I was pissed off a couple of times. It was so strange. It's the only, I only get pissed off really about audio because that's what I do for a living. Yeah. And stuff. And stuff. And stuff.

So I can laugh about it now. And stuff like this pisses me off. Because this show has a big reach. Yeah. Like people like I've gotten jobs off of this show. Oh wow. Really? Yes.

Are you serious? Yeah. It's unbelievable. Well, with all the fine work you do on this show, I... That's a surprise. A couple mixes, one of which I is coming for the listener who knows who he is. It's coming like today. So, yeah, just a, you know, a couple little things, but like it's, hey, it's great.

I appreciate everything. But yeah, like I was pissed off because somebody had come in and reset knobs and clean puts and outputs. What's a cleaning lady doing? We're saying the cleaning lady. Yeah, she does a podcast now. So it's like, yeah, it's, what is she talking about?

Consuelo's podcast. She talks about cleaning stuff. I don't like it when I expect shit to come in the work and it doesn't work. I mean, it's over it. I'm not making fun of her. This is what she just comes down and talks about her life. Yeah. She's doing her best. So I'm hoping we have the first shit.

Yeah. I hope so, but me too. I don't know if we do. Wait, did you really delete everything that we just had? It's gone. Why? It's gone. Cause I felt like it, cause I have power.

Sean, that's fucked up. You can't delete the show on purpose. They're on there, I think. Well, make sure. Are you fucking serious? You're just doing it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I have power. Sean, that's fucked up. You can't delete the show on purpose. They're on there, I think.

Well, make sure. Are you fucking serious? You're just deleting the show when you fuck up? I didn't fuck up. You're sitting there reading the stream while Peach is digging around for cables. I didn't delete the, or I didn't not. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Oh, is this how you know the Superbest friends? Is this how they interact with each other? Yes. Wally is deleting podcasts left and right? Oh yeah. Okay. As I said, welcome to the Dixho.

The only podcast coming to you from a bunker, a nuclear safe bunker in the side of a mountain that with me is always a Sean, the audio engineer, very pissed off at me today. I'm pissed off. And here with me today is Peach, Peach Deliva. Hello. Everyone wants to know how you're running up the board.

I don't know. Oh man, Sean, I feel very uncomfortable. That you're deleting the show. What are you doing? I'm making sure everything's rounded right. I feel very uncomfortable about it. There was no, yeah, okay, we got the, yeah. We've got a full studio audience.

Shitty passengers here. She brought a number of beautiful friends. There are more, there's more beautiful women in this room right now than probably anywhere else in L.A. I'm not kidding, it might be gone. You might, then probably anywhere else in L.A. I'm not kidding, it might be gone. You might, that whole thing might be gone. Why?

You're laughing maniacally, but you actually deleted the show. It's possible. Did you actually remember this? Can you look it up? Can you look and see if it's deleted? You are legitimately pissed. I have, I've rarely seen Sean as pissed. I are legitimately pissed. I have, I've rarely seen Sean. I was legitimately pissed, but just wipe out the show because you're so pissed. I was pissed. Well, let's

see. Look it up. Look it up. We need some jeopardy music here for Sean, Sean's pissed off the leading. Oh, wow. He's like sweating. Yeah, a little like glistening really. Let's see, what are the, what's the overrunner on if the, if the show is deleted or not? There's a lot of hot chicks in here watching you, you know, they're watching you. Watching you. It's really embarrassing. No, it's not, it should all be there.

It should? Yeah, I see multiple, I see a bunch of files. Okay, it's the only podcast with live, on the air, real fights between people who've known each other for 20 years. I just want the fucking shit to fire up and work. Yeah, but it's not too much of a difference. It's a little bit. Why?

Because that's what it came in here. All the fucking shit was reset. You know who was in here twiddling things. Who's the cleaning lady? Yeah, that's who it was. It's a cleaning lady. She came in here and she does her own podcast. You don't have a cleaning lady.

It's the Consuelo podcast. She talks about like stuff that makes her a rage about being a cleaning lady, like running, putting the wrong latex glove on, putting it on the wrong hand. She can't, I saw her in here doing it. Sean, did you? He's so serious now.

I'm not, I'm not fucking up. I'm making sure the shit is right. God damn it. Cause I was twitching. It's the only podcast. Good, at least they're hearing it. And I mean this seriously, it's the only podcast that keeps its host from becoming a full blown alcoholic.

It is this show is, and I mean by a thread, by an invisible thread. Like do you know, do you know the, everybody has this image, I think at the ready, the space shuttle, it was the anniversary of the challenger blowing up right? So that's why I have these space comparisons in mind. Yeah, but you're like 30 years, right? So that's why I have these space comparisons in mind. Yeah, but you like 30 years. Yeah, so 86 you see the space shuttle floating above the earth,

right? And you see the all the whole expanse of Earth below it. And you just see the shuttle there floating. That is how I feel with the alcoholism at all times, floating there silently with no swinging around, but with no, I don't know what's holding. It's, there's an invisible, gossamer thread holding me either pulling me back from the liquor gravity or perhaps blowing in. It's the podcast, the good will, the good will and the beautiful people, the dickheads on this show who are always supporting it. That is, that's the invisible, gossamer thread that keeps me hovering, hovering like an

angel, like a liquor angel right above, right above the atmosphere of liquor. It's just floating there. And I don't know, I don't know if I'm falling toward it or falling away from it. I just feel like I'm the space shuttle just floating there at all times. That's this show because every, every weekend, every night, I'm like, well, I could just get completely annihilated or I could work a little bit on the show or I could work a little bit. And there's always that little tiny thread in my mind, pulling me back, holding me above the atmosphere.

And then he fucks you. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is.

That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is.

That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is, no, last night is, is what makes me rage. We're going to get to that. You had a liquor list date with life coach. Yeah. You know how we guys actually share a sentence. It's very, it's very, it's because he's going to be in trouble if he goes home. So with the wife or is it you just trying it as like a social experiment? Um, it has to do with his semen. That's why he's gone liquor free.

Okay. Okay. He thinks, yeah, he thinks, he thinks,. He thinks that he's super charged. Yeah. He thinks that he's lost. He's super charged. Yeah. You cut because he's not drinking. Yes.

He thinks that like all he thinks that the booze goes directly to the semen. Does he think his come like get drunk and can't find the egg? Well, can you say that it doesn't? No. Or you would say none of us are. I'm not a doctor. I don't know. He throws these opinions at me.

I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm just a guy who voted for Trump over here. I don't know. I don't know what happens here. I don't know what's going these opinions at me. I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm just a guy who voted for Trump over here. I don't know what happens here. I don't know what's going on with your semen down there. You tell me. But this is what we're doing now. We have these liquor-free dates, and he's coming to the realization.

Wait, you go on dates. Well, I don't know what else to call them. It's just like going out with a friend who's a man, but there's no liquor involved. Is there kissing? Like, I don't know. Let me talk about what makes me rage. Okay, peach flies in the town.

Peachy flies in the town. And she's doing the hysterios coconuts breaking bad tour of LA. That's what people do now. They come to see me, they come to the dick house, and they try to be as degenerate as possible. It's true. That's what I want this to be.

I want this to be like Hunter S. Thompson's farm where people show up and shoot guns and giggle like a bunch of silly pantses and then go back to their real life. And everyone's like, eh, I don't know. You just, that's what you do there. You go to Dixie, you could do whatever you want. It does not real. It's true, it's like time stops here. You go to Dixie, you could do whatever you want. It does not real.

It's true. It's like time stops here. Like I kept looking at my watch being like, what's that, what, that real, what, that's what time it is. Like, yeah, early, plenty of time for debauchery, right? That's what you think. So we go out, we go out to that bar where we go out to the bar where I knew you're just stereos,

um, duped a young woman into touching him Right and accurate waited That's abs. I seen him do it. We go to them. I could not have made that creepier Selma. We go to the bar a young woman. We go to a bar where a stereos very quickly found a new writing partner and put the moves on Shit, that's what he that's what he does. He's got. He's got he tricked you and uh huh. He's always got beautiful writing part. I know. And he thinks that I look, I don't know if they don't know what's going on, but I know what's going on. He's got he's a guy. He's just got all these writing partners. All it's he's the smartest fucking man in the

world. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. He's a's a, yeah, he's a wolf in like, in a pedophiles clothing. So we go to this bar and you've, you're, what are you, are you single? What's the, what's the deal? No, I'm, I'm with, I'm actually with Pat from Superbest Friends play, angriest Pat. Okay, that's what, that's my thought. But I never know what people want to say. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People always, they get a, they're, angriest pat. Okay, that's what, that's my thought. But I never know what people wanna say. Yeah, people always, they get a, they're them, and they get a microphone in front of them, and all of a sudden their girlfriend is their assistant.

Yeah, right, right, right. Why don't you wanna tell what you, what are you like, so desirable that you wanna keep your fucking options open, what the fuck's wrong? Okay, so you're not, okay. Yeah. So we're there, and so obviously, Pige isn't gonna be seducing anyone at the bar, but she teams up with 80s girl.

He's to get the bride idea of going to a strip club. Just a friendly night at the Gentleman's club. Sean, it's a place for gentlemen. And it's only recent says it on the side. That these gentlemen's club are allowing women because they want to be inclusive. Yeah, you see? And I support that.

I fully support that. I'm probably bitch about it. But this, I don't want to get in the way of their dreams. You understand? This is a, these two have just met. They're both incredibly beautiful. We've got a Celtic goddess here on the one hand and then 80s girl a 80s a guy a beer ad I would look I wouldn't be surprised to see her on the Takadi ad now

I know what you mean by 80s girl. Oh, was there confusion? No, I always just took it for granted I mean it's the thighs. Yeah, the cut the lead hard that gets cut all the way up to here. Very, very nice. You're like, yeah, that's. And fond of workout. Yes, that's what I want. That's the kind of hot she is. So all the listeners are going like, fuck you talking about, Jane fond of workout tapes. I see all the reference.

All the reference. I got you guys want to go to a strip, we can make that happen. Let's go to, let's do a strip club. Now first, I think you forgot, we went to Cheetah's first. Oh, that's right. Cheetahs don't forget. Okay. So you think it's a very simple task that two beautiful women want to go to a strip club and see other beautiful women taking their clothes off, right? What could be simpler than that? What could be simpler than that in Trump's America? Where we demean women constantly.

We're in a constant state of women are so demeaned in this country that there are millions of them are marching about it. Sean, we're posting about it on Facebook all day because they're so oppressed because people, men like me and Trump are making them take their clothes off from Sean, there's, there's no stopping us. We're going around just ripping their clad, assaulting them with our eyes. Every second of the day, you would think strip club, no problem, no problem in Trump's America. How could this be any simpler? I just want to take these two beautiful women to, I've got a lot of ones in my pocket

I went to the only ATM in LA that spits out ones and I said give me all you got Because I'm making dreams come true tonight motherfucker. Give me everyone in town I want to have a whole I want to have a stack of ones that looks like the breaking bad Storage locker except only ones and I want to roll around it I want to walk I want to walk around like the actless shrug cover except a big globe eight of single of one dollar bills and i'm gonna club i'm gonna find a hooker excuse me a stripper with the biggest hits in the whole world

whose eyes are on the other side of her face because every likes law that's law that's not an ice age what is his name i remember no one remembers anything about that movie because it's not because every like slaughter that's locked and ice age. What is his name? I don't remember. No, we remember something about that movie because it sucked because it was so stupid. That mo, I don't know what is, I say, it just seems like a fucking shoe factor. People like that squirrel and that's about it, right?

I know that guy's name, Scrat. Because Joan loves that stupid scrap for some reason. Joan, the trans, you know, my friend, the comedian, our friend, the comedian Joan. She loves Scrat and loves Dominions. Unironically, I think. She loves Dominions.

Because she's secretly a 70 year old woman. I think, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, anyway. That's what I want to find. I want to find a clone of Lucy Wilde who looks like a mom, who you know she looks, everybody's giving me shit all week there. and I'm gonna take this massive globe of ones and just drop it right on her

like an anvil like a murder like Wiley Coyote here you go bitch boom boom I don't make it rain they call it a I when I go to strip water make a fucking meteor strike like I'm that something that amateurs are sitting there making it rain I take a globe of money and I drop it on you like a fucking asteroid. It's an extinction level event when I come into a strip club because I just have all the, I have an entire world of money over my head that I smash on you and I say, that's it, I'm outta here. That's what I, oh, and I come my brains out and then I leave. That's what I wanted oh, and I come my brains out and then I leave. That's what I wanted to do. Simple.

Just a one man simple dream. To go into a strip club and take a boulder of money and clock some weird looking chick with huge tits with it. What could be easier in Trump's America? This is what they're marching about. I, this is what they're marching about. This is what they're marching about. I'm picturing somebody with like that Nickelodeon gack on their head, like they get swarmed.

Yeah, that's what I do. I take a blender into a strip club. I got a blender in my trunk, and I take all the ones. I put them in the blender. Are we still recording? Yeah, I put them in the blender. I put them in the blender. And I put a little protein powder and some you know some bonding agent and I blend up the money

And then when the strippers come on stage I pour the sink I pour a whole picture of singles on their heads like Nickelodeon gag Because they say I don't know I say bitch you said I don't know I come out like the noise like a little weirdo Dropping out of the ceiling and pouring liquid single goo on their heads. That's what I do at strip clubs. Simple dreams. I was talking about the scene in the next. Simple dreams. Simple dreams that I have a simple dream that I just want to go to a strip club with the two most beautiful women that I've ever, that I can imagine. I could imagine a better night than this, right? Sean, the eroticism of this

night, I would be thinking about for the rest of my life. Yeah. Do you understand that? Do you know what I mean? I do. Like that one, like when you're a kid. I am intellectually capable of understanding that.

You know what I am saying, Sean. I do know what I am saying. Like when you're a kid and that one hot mom, friend, like where's that one top that's cut way too low? There's a pool party and she's in, to one with the big jugs and she's the one who's a little too much like a kid, like it's like, oh, you can have the wine coolers

in the fridge, the mom who would like buy you booze, that kind of stuff. You're a mom bought you booze? I'm talking a way out here. No, I'm talking about like every circle of friends has probably the one with the hot mom. And the hot mom is usually the one who is like, oh, well as long as you do it at my house.

Oh, yeah. It's like it's okay, like the no boundaries type thing. Yes, not enough boundaries. Not enough boundaries. She wants to be your friend. She wants to be a friend, not a parent, so it's like she wants to be the cool mom. Dressing a little provocatively.

Maybe she had a wine cooler yourself, but the point is you remember it for the rest of your life. Because it's so fucking hot and it gets hotter with age. These memories, these spank bank memories, they get hotter with age and that was going to be my night after I smashed the boulder of money. I'm like, oh man, these two hottest chicks in the world right here, going on a strip club, watching these chicks take their clothes, and I'm gonna, we're gonna, it's gonna cost 100 bucks. How much could it cost?

How much could this memory cost? $200? You know what I'm saying? That's it. Nothing. It's nothing compared to the memory. So. I say, let's go to Cheetahs.

It's a great, great bikini bar. There's a chance we could run into hot wheels. Chance we could run into hot wheels. Chance we could run into hot wheels, peach sense. I gotta know what hot wheels looks like. Well, what does she, you've seen her. No, I haven't. I've only heard stories.

I went up to the bar and I was like, where's hot wheels? And they said she only works holidays. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm serious, they did. I just bring her in on, oh man, when everybody else like, oh my god. Which all of these? What does this bruiser look like?

Which all of these things you are? I don't know, I don't know, but all that tells me is that a serious ghost is destroyed. Are you sure on all the days instead of spending time with his family or his loved ones? Are you sure like, where no escapees aren't like furniture dollies you use on set to cart this behemoth around? She's like Paul Bunyan. This is a doll, this street is called too. I'm gonna call her in on holidays.

She comes in on holidays like Santa Claus. Sure, she wears loading dock crates dollies for shoes and skates around. She's 20 feet tall. They had to build a new a super pole just for hot wheels. Yeah, you're right. It means a stereo is going to almost exclusively when he comes out to LA on holidays. He only goes on holidays. Well, we get the cheetahs. That was the that was among the disappointments we encountered at cheetahs. First of all, but there was no hot wheels. No, there was no hot wheels,

and it was jam-packed with used car salesmen. Yeah. And no, I thought it was a topless bar, but it wasn't a topless bar. A bar. It was a bikini bar? That's what Cheetahs is now? Yeah, I thought it was a topless bar.

Yeah, no. See, I think a lot of places used to be full nude, and then they went topless, and then they went bikini. I don't know, it's gotten more next year, it'll be Berk as I don't know. I mean, bro, it might as well be because they're wearing more, they're wearing more at the bikini bar

than they are at a regular bar. And it's the like the tachy is shitty. It's like, I get, I can, first of all, I get cheaper drinks at a regular bar. The girls are way fucking hotter. There's not as many men leering at me because I'm in there with the two hottest chicks in the world.

This is not working. We gotta go. So my play is, when all bets are off, when everything's been fucked up, you go to the Spearman Rino, because it's always been good to me. And there's one in Van Eyes that I've been to a series, it's been forever since I've been to a strip club, but there's one downtown.

Let's just, let's just, let's call this early. Let's identify this issue early and get to the Spearment Rhino. It's like midnight, right? Let's not try to fuck around here at Cheetahs. Let's not, let's try, we get into the Uber and he's making suggestions about what stripper, dude, just shut up and go to this, don't, don't involve yourself in this night. You're not involved in this plan. Just go to the Spirit Rhino. Get the hell, so we go, we go to the Spirit Rhino, down to him. And the guy at the door says, oh, he just, yeah, of course I'm paying. I'm, I'm making, I said, of course I'm paying.

I'm making this fantasy happen. Of course I'm paying, right? No, no, girl has to pay for her own strip club, please. I said, that's disgusting. You should probably just need to let it in. That's what I tried to do. Like, is it girls night here? And he goes, oh, every night is girls night.

I'm thinking, oh, yeah. Oh, he's like, what a coincidence. These happen to be girls. Hey guys, well, that'll be a hundred bucks. I'm like, oh, so you didn't understand. It was, you didn't get the girls night joke. Did you? Well, per person, it was a weird amount of money,

wasn't it? Like, 31 dollars. 31 dollars. Because they had some stupid porn star there. Yeah. So some chick who probably has like less, probably has less followers than Peach does. You're a famous, uh,

Oh, no, I wouldn't, no, no. I mean, like, I have followers, I guess. What do you do exactly? You play video games on Twitch? Yeah, I mean, I guess, yeah. And for fun, but also for money. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool. What's kind of like this? Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, you just shit talk, you just shit talk and hang out and then what's your tweet? How do people see you? Oh, a twitch.tv. Because I'm just shouting over you.

Oh, you're fine. Oh, please, better than a stereos. A twitch.tv slash a peach saliva. Okay. Yeah. So, and they can see you on this, right? Oh, yeah. That's where whatever you're doing.

You could be make, you could be, you know, darning socks. I'll watch just a look at you. Thank you. Incredibly beautiful. Aw, shucks. So, the guy starts jacking up the price because some famous porn starts like, oh, are you fucking kidding me with,

there's nobody cares. Nobody cares. There's nobody cares. A famous porn star, dude. Except the guys who think, I think they chose a five-axis or bucks because in the back of a lot of guys' minds, they think they have a shot.

What do you mean? They think they have a shot with this porn star. You know what Sean, they fucking do. They probably make you, they fucking, because just set up a camera, set up a camera and get you walled out, make your own porn. They got a very good fucking shot. First, first of cash. Yeah.

Um, so we go in, we go into this strip club. I'm again, bursting with ones. They're falling, falling out of my pants. So we go in, we go into this strip club. I'm again bursting with ones. They're falling out of my pants. I've got, I've crammed them in them. I'm like midnight express. I've got them, I've got them taped all over my person, like, like, hash, because I've got so many ones

that I can't wait to blow all over this fantasy evening. And the mush mouth comes on. The mush mouth DJ comes on. Hey, everybody, we're announcing the the next the next girl, right? I said to get a little amped up here. I'm like, yeah, can't wait. I don't know what's going to happen here. You might see a teddy.

Anything goes. This is I haven't been excited like this to be a strip club in a long time. And you can get this, get the atmosphere is going to get all hot. Sean, you know what I'm talking about? The atmosphere when that about that when that when that when that vibe hits you and it hits everybody that that erotic vibe of these chicks are getting naked and there's like a power thing going on here. That's the magic of the strip club. Do you know what that's like? You know what that's like. Yeah. I'm talking

about Sean. I stopped stripping a while ago. So the guy, the guy's talking. I couldn't handle that vibe that, and that vibe that I didn't know what he was talking about. Yeah, yeah. A DJ's talking like he's got a mouth full of rags on the microphone as they all do. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. All right, so saying, I don't know

why they all sound the same too. Like do you think they go in audition to sound like they're speaking out of their asshole, strip club DJs? Like, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha, like that thing. Cause like auctioneers, you have a mind of an auctioneer, but they all, they sound different. Not strip club DJs.

They all sound like the same asshole. Yeah. They're auctioneer dropouts. Why don't they get a chick dude? Yeah, they like to have a dick chick. No, you never hear a chick dude. You never hear an chick announcing a strip club. No.

That would be a lot hotter than some dude who is probably a lift driver and wants to sell you his single on your way out of the door. I fucking hate that guy. So he does his thing. And the lights come on. Smoke starts coming out. Laser beams start shooting all of you know, hot laser beams make everything hotter. That's why that's they need that is strictly you need laser beams shooting all over the floor. Oh yeah.

Get those laser beams touching the touch in the girl. I don't know why the laser beams is all up. They are Nothing Nobody comes out nobody comes out of all song entire song three three four minutes of song I've stripped a strip of song nobody so guy gets on again doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs.

I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs.

I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs.

I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of strip clubs. I've been doing a lot of seeing anything. I'm starting to get agitated. This is a Saturday night. Sean, this is like a big strip club at midnight. At midnight. And it's packed with dudes. I'm sitting, so I'm looking around now and seeing other dudes kind of looking around. I get the distinct feeling that, like, this is no, now this isn't a strip club anymore. Now we're at a fucking bus stop.

Yeah. This is just me making eye contact with other men who are some are wearing sweatpants. Like, I don't, you go to a strip club to be into the chicks, not to meet other guys and make eye and like look at other men and make judgments on them, try to figure out what kind of guy this is. Well, you probably already know.

It's like, hey, you like strippers? Yeah, me too, man. Cool. When the fuck are they coming? They're all, all of the strippers, all of them are sitting behind us like they're like like a choir. They're sitting on like, right? Yeah. Elevator. Elevated because it's not their turn. They're sitting there like they're waiting like they're waiting at a track and field event, waiting for their turn to do the long jump. It's like, what the fuck are you chicks?

Get up there. Yeah, there are in the stages. Somebody get up there. Three, four, five songs, nobody. Nobody, nobody comes up there. You're talking like 20 plus minutes. 20, Sean turns into 30 minutes easily. Finally one gets up there who's fatter than hell.

No, no, before that, there was a super hot chick. Well, I mean, that you could, so it was really dark. And no lasers, super dark, hot, maybe, chick comes up, but you can't see her. She's like Marlon Brando and Apocalypse now. Yeah, she's, she's, she's, she's, 300 pounds shipping from the shadows. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She starts taking off her top. I can't tell, I lean over to 80, I lean over to 80s girl, and I'm like, did she take off her top? I can't, I can't see anything. I think, I think, I don't know. And anything. I think, I think, I don't know. And then she's naked, I think, I don't know. And then she leaves. Totally in the darkness, I have no idea what she looks like.

Then nothing, nothing again. So I say that, that's it. I can't handle this. I'm not sitting here for an hour waiting for chicks to take their clothes off. Are you fucking, while they're sitting there? Are they, is the DJ saying anything at this point? He's saying everything that he always says.

Alla, alla, alla, alla. Here comes that, we're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. But he's not explaining himself. He's not explaining why there's nobody coming to the stage. I can't understand a word those guys say ever. All we could hear was two for one. Two for one.

But you can't tell by the tone. Like you and me, I'm sorry folks, you know, is it different tone as opposed to? No, she's a cocktail. Waiter's from Fort Lauderdale. He's announcing an imaginary stripper. Like I don't know if we're supposed to be using our imaginations or if everyone in the club has some kind of VR goggles

that they're looking at like an augmented reality stripper going on, but there's no stripping happening. Is everybody, is anybody going over to the DJ? Sean, not only is no stripping happening, Is everybody, is anybody going over to the DJ? Sean, not only is no stripping happening, people are still flooding into the club. There's still one after the other, dropping 30 bucks, boom, boom, boom, into the, nothing happening. So I say, that's it. I can't look at other guys. You know, it's a big circle.

It's a nice strip, it's a nice club. So there's people surrounding the stage, where the DJ's reminding that everybody has the tip when they're sitting at the stage. It's like, motherfucker, give us something to tip over here. Everybody is ready to tip. You are fucking this up.

So I say, I'm sick of this. We can't, we're not waiting, we're not waiting two hours to see a boob. Now I'm feeling des, like now I'm feeling like I'm humping like something like a dream. You know, when you get into the position, we're here like, I'm gonna make this night happen. That's the worst, the worst spot to be in like, I'm going to recapture some magic

here by forcing like a for no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I start to feel that closing. And I'm at, we got to get out of here. We got this is fucked. We got to get out of here. This is a once again, once again, once again, screwed over by God. Something is the most easiest thing in the world, taking two chicks to a strip club to have a nice night of boobs screwed over. So I'm like, we gotta get the fuck outta here. So we go, I say, call, we go outside,

and I tell 80s girl, hey, call the Uber. Just do me a favor, call the Uber and wait outside and hold it. She goes, well, what do you mean? I'm like, I'm gonna get my fucking money back. There's no unprecedented at a strip club. So I walk in there. Now, you have to be able to get your money back.

I know nobody would do that, but you're right to do it. Oh, I'm getting my fucking money back. Oh yeah, this is not a strip club to me. No. This was like a creepo anonymous convention where we're sitting around and everybody's afraid to, it's a free. No, you've very sold a service or a product that was not delivered you get nothing so I'm going there I say hey dude it's it's it's packed. It's yeah

I do this thing where if I want if I want something that I know I'm not gonna get from From a guy like this in this situation from a manager. I sit there and they come over there like, all right, that'll be, the guy comes over like, all right, that'll be 30 bucks. And I like to give it a pause. So it puts them off their game. Like it puts them off the exchange game

because they have, in their mind, they are the person who works the machine, right? They're the till man. That's who they are. That's the personality they are in their mind. They just sit there, they take the money, do the thing, they're on autopilot, right? So I like to give that pause when I want something out of them

that I know they're not gonna give me. I like to give that pause to see if I can find the real person in there. Cause they're not trained. If they get us something they don't know, they're gonna be like, oh shit, I don't have a robotic movement for this. I gotta think about this for a second. I go in there and I pause.

Come here, let me talk to you. And you go, don't. What do you want? I'm like, I paid for three. I paid for three, mean two chicks. I brought two chicks in here. We waited 40 minutes, saw maybe three boobs. I won.

There was a fat chick. They finally turned on the lights for like a- Well, I didn't see all of the boobs on the first one. I probably only saw one, because it was so fast. I was being honest. I want to be honest with the guy. I'm like, look, I paid a hundred bucks to get me. I brought two chicks here.

I wanted to see some naked dancing. You guys didn't deliver. I would like a refund. Here is my card. He was, we can't do that. Okay. I mean, let's back up again. Let's try this.

Let's try this another approach. I'm like, when I talk to those guys, I'm, let's back up again. Let's try this, let's try this another approach. I'm like, when I talk to those guys, I'm like moving a couch. Like you try to move the couch through the one way, doesn't work. Yeah, I'm just back up. I know the couch is getting into the fucking door. So let's just try it another way.

Okay, calm down, everybody can say, all right, just back up, that's fine. Just twist it a little bit. Let's try it again. I'm, I want the money back. I'm in discernment of the money because you guys got no chick's dancing in there. I don't know. You're out here just taking the money. There's no girls dancing in there. So either put it on the card or give me cash. All right. That's what I'm getting the money either either. Either I'm calling amics.

I'm deaf. The amics is definitely definitely gonna be on my side. Oh, yeah. So you either put it on the card or give me the cash meanwhile guys are throwing cramming money trying to get through. Like you guys first of you guys are in for a world of hurt, but you better get me out here as fast as humanly fucking possible because I'm outing the I'm outing you guys here. Yeah. That this is in the strip club. This is a library without books. That everyone is sitting in silence in. It was a laser light show. It was a planetarium.

It was the creepiest planetarium in the world with a bunch of men and sweats with hard-ons. And I don't want to know that. I want to be distracted from that kind of thing. So he gave, he got the manager over. My favorite guy to deal with. Yeah, sure. They put it back on the card and we leave. God damn it man lazy strippers. I don't know who's somebody's got to be in there cracking the

Whip bun. I never found out what's up with that. No, no, somebody didn't show up. I don't know man I don't know what these chicks are marching about because I'll tell you there's no there's no objectifying happening at the Spearman Rhino in LA. Or it's got a lot of precedent. It was weird. Midnight, Saturday night, pervert planetarium. All right, Peach, what makes you, Rage? And then I'm talking about this for way too long.

I know. It's like I've talked about it twice. Yeah, it's almost as ift. Yeah, so what makes me a R rage is men who pee sitting down. Is that real? Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely real. According to the pee sitting down, quick survey, would you ever?

Well, if I was taking a crap, I get up. I have to pee while I'm taking a crap. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, too feminine for me. I stand up, turn around. Yeah, I can't think of a circumstance. I don't know, why would I, I don't think of a circumstance. I don't know. Why would I, I don't know why I would sit down like other than being like sick or you're

taking a shit. Why would you sit down, right? Is this a real, is this a thing that men are doing? I'm not really sure. Is it like, is it to like preserve the sanctity of the toilet seat for their lady or something? I'm not sure, but I do have a study that says, I'm having one of these. Yeah, I'll be all right. Let's hear it. All right, so apparently a poll of married couples in Japan found that 49% of wedded men in Japan pee sitting down.

Yes, but the same, almost exactly the same in Germany, as opposed to, let's see, 15% in 1999 of men piece it. Wait a minute, in Germany. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This here is, oh yeah, this is. It jumped by 30%. Yeah, looks like it. What's it in the US?

I don't have that. What's it in your experience in the US? Oh God. I've dated like two dudes who had consistently piece itting down. Oh my God. And it was weird. And it made me uncomfortable.

Why? I just don't, I don't, It's because they don't want to get blow jobs anymore. would consistently piece itting down. Oh my God. And it was weird and it made me uncomfortable. Why? I just don't, I don't. It's because they don't want to get blow jobs anymore. That's why I'm, that's what I've learned. You know, about men. They just don't want to get blow jobs anymore so they do all of this stupid shit

to turn off every woman they're ever with. I honestly don't understand why it's more, I mean, it's more difficult. You got to like undo your belt. Take, it's so easy. Like the, like, undo your bell. It's so easy. Like, the zipper is a great thing for men. Yeah. It takes too long.

And the thing that bothers me the most is that, like, so I dated this guy and, like, I'm brushing my teeth. He walks in, he sits down. I'm like, are you, are you about to take a shit? Like, while I'm brushing my teeth, that's kind of weird. And he's like, he's like, no, no.

Yeah, that is kind of weird. It's a little weird. We're already asking weird questions. We're off to a weird start here, buddy. Get out of here. If you hear weird questions being asked, just back up. Right. Walk backwards. Get the fuck out of whatever you're doing,

because you fucked up. So I'm brushing my teeth and he's like, let's tell him what you're doing. He's like, no, no, I'm just being. And I'm like, where are you sitting down? He's like, I just want to. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. You know, all right. So I'm brushing my teeth and then I'm like talking to him

And I'm like trying not to make it weird. I'm trying to accept whatever bullshit. He's doing and then He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's I'm just not smiling. I'll just pretend that it's normal. Wow. So what got me though, it was uncomfortable and it was a huge turn off because if I wanted to date a girl, I would. His weener, he gets, he like, he peas and he gets up and his weener, drags around on the underside of the toilet. Do you know what I mean? We're all like the piss splatter and the shit splatter.

Like sit, do you know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying.'re all like the piss splatter and the shit splatter. Like sit, no, do you know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying. The underside of the lip of the toilet, and it's like dragging around. The underside of the lip of the toilet seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? We're all like shit and piss collects.

Like you'll feel it. I know what's in there. Yeah, you know, yeah. And so he's like dragging his dick around, and then, and then, and then, and then like, why? Why is he doing a little dance in there? No, I don't know, but every time it would just, I can't and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, you know, and I'm like, what? Why would I ever, ever wanna look at your penis after it's been stir in the inside of a fucking toilet?

It's disgusting. How many guys, how many guys do you think do this? Peace setting down? Well, you have to step. You guys too. I just have for like Japan and it's very consistent in Germany. There's some kind of, I wonder what do the guys that you date right now doing this?

No, no one I date. Because I like to do, I like to bring on to the show that you date right now doing this? No, no one I date. Because I like to do. I like to bring onto the show things that people are doing in my personal life and then tell them to listen to it. No, not right now. Not right now, no, thank God. Okay, I just don't understand why.

No, the man I'm with shits in the dark. He shits in the dark, he showers in the dark. All right, to avoid the shame. He's got this weird OCD thing and like I joke, I'm like, oh, he keeps the goblins asleep. That's the shame. Like, I don't know. He's got like this weird OCD thing, and like, I joke, I'm like, oh, it keeps the goblins asleep. Like, that's the reason. It keeps goblins asleep. I don't know.

He just, he has to shower the lights off. Like, like, mostly. Like, he'll have like a fan and like, a soft vanity light. I don't know. If there's light coming through the window, like, will he pull the shades? Yeah, he pulled the blinds.

He'd pull the blinds. Like, and Frank. No, that's me. That's when will he pull the shades? Yeah, he pulled the blinds. He'd pull the blinds. Like, and Frank. No, that's me. That's when it goes into the bathroom. Yeah. It gets out the tin foil, spray playing the fancy black like, like London's getting bogged out curtains. Tapes everything up, so no light gets in.

No, that's me. That's me. I hate, I hate like coming through windows, but I'm so pasty, like I can't afford the sunriss. Fuck, peace sitting down. Oh, men. Yeah. Why does it make you a rage that people are paying sitting down? Because it's like,. He's sitting down. Oh, men? Yeah.

Why does it make you a rage that people are peeing sitting down? Because it's not masculine. I, like, I just don't know why. Yeah. It just annoys me. I was talking to my, I was talking to my buddy Mike the other day and he, like I was telling him, like, you know, like, why do guys do this?

He's like, oh, I, I did this like a few months ago. And this is such a gross story, but, but it just like filled me with fury. So he was taking a pee, sitting down this guy, and he's like, his weiner dragged around on the rim. What is this weiner dragging thing? I don't know. I never had of my weiner dragging around. Have you had this problem?

You know what's more insane to me is like that sentence has probably never been said in the history of weiner dragging around on a toilet. That's amazing to me. like that sentence has probably never been said in the history of that kind. We were dragging around on a toilet. That's amazing to me. I don't know. I don't know. But he did it. And it was at this public toilet at this like barcade and like Cape Cod or some shit. And like he tells me he's like, now don't throw up.

Why don't you upper crust weeners? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna throw it with a God. He's like, don't freak out. But I looked down at my penis and there was some shit on there, which was weird because I didn't just take a shit.

And I was just like, this is disgusting. Yeah, it's disgusting. And then he expects it. And then this, what kind of a rest stop was this? I think he was doing other stuff in there. No, no. Like, fucking dude. How did he get a bunch of...

Yeah. I was just like, oh, I got... How did he get a bunch of... Taking a wide stand. Yeah, I was like, oh, I got, how'd you get herpes from a toilet seat? Like, why is there, why is there, shit all over your dick? How did you get pregnant? I got pregnant watching porn. Yeah.

I mean, that's just a total of me. I think he's pulling a prank on you. He's pulling a fast one on you. Maybe, but it made me just, ugh, like, it's disgusting. And the idea, and so I just, I just, if you're out there and you pee sitting down, unless you have a heart problem or you're violently ill, like, please watch where you're at.

Heart problem. Yeah, like if you have a heart problem, you should probably pee sitting down, I assume. I don't know. No, no, no. Why did they come from? I don't know. A heart problem.

Yeah. People are harsh. Like if you're weak for some reason. Well, okay, okay, I will tell you. I will tell you that.'re weak for some reason. Well, okay, okay. I will tell you, I will tell you that I have a roller coaster. Like, don't ride. If you've got a heart problem, sit down before you pee.

My dad is really old. My dad's really old and my mom told me that, so he had heart surgery. My dad's like 83. He had heart surgery. And so while he was recovering, he had to pee sitting down, he was grumbling about it.

And he was like, oh, because he's's super super manly He's like like lumberjack like oh yeah, and he didn't want to and they they forced him to so So like that that would be the only they would hold him down But so like that's the only reason I can think of. Putting a shunt in his dick so he has to. I'm tightening my ears. You're either exping through, you're not getting it in there.

I will get it in there. Back those orders. So yeah, that's the idea. Like if I could pee standing up, I would- What is what's your dad like? He's very nice. I've heard a lot of women say that. Thanks very much.

Thanks for cock-blocking that. What? I'm kidding. Your dad's very man. Very husky manly. Yeah, he's a tiny little Lebanese man. He would probably hate you. Does he look like a stereos and talk about how he's doing?

He would be really mad. Oh well, he'll get over it. Did he stop? Oh yeah, as soon as he as like, he was better, I mean, I assume I don't watch my dad pee. I don't know for sure, but I assume. I can only assume. That's a good question.

He's well now, so I assume. I don't know. I hope it doesn't catch on, but who fucking knows? It seems to be, being sitting down. Doesn't it? You know what? Was catching on that's pee-related? What?

I had to chew my life coach out for this. He would come over and I noticed when he was over one time that the toilet was full of P. And I walked down the street. Oh no, one of those guys. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck is this? And he's like, you know, if it's yellow, let it mellow. And I was like, you listen to me, motherfucker.

You flush, I want you to flush before and after. You do not, you do not let a bunch of peace sit around in the toilet. I hate that shit. Like you don't ever, you need to go and I put him in time out. I said, you go in the corner and you think about what you do. Don't you ever eat a spare gas and come over to my house. There is nothing worse than the smell of stale piss like, huh, gross. That's right. Flush the fucking thing. Let me break this disgusting. All right. I'm going to play some bits. What do you guys think about that?

Yeah. Let's hope it plays. I got some people calling in too. You know how good? I'm sure that'll go swimming. Let me see if this guy's on. Okay. So this guy, it's a phenomenon that Dickheads are now inserting themselves into major

events, like major events, they'll show up. You know, there was a dickhead at the Trump Rally, or the Trump inauguration, which was huge. This guy, this guy sent me a tweet with a picture of another dickhead at Shia LaBuff's little meld. He will not divide us. Yeah, people not divide his cameras. You know what Shia LaBuff's doing? I saw just a picture of that.

Wasn't he standing like looking at a, he won't divide us or whatever sign and then people are behind him taking pictures. Shia has made, Shia LaBuff has made a video camera that's live streaming for four years. Yeah. Gonna be eight years pretty soon. Of the entire time that Trump is president with a, that's streaming all the time and it says he will not divide us over it. So you're supposed to go there and chant like you're in the Manson family, he will not

divide us slogan. And Shia is there the whole time showing off his shitty pub beard and generally freaking out. So a dickhead was there flashing, you know, the book around and flashing shirt off and stuff. This guy, apparently what Shia lost his mind because this dude showed up and just started saying silly stuff. Like there's a lot of antagonism going on at this event because it's just a big fuck you to Trump supporters.

So a lot of people go there from from Paul and the internet and you, it's like the size of the target of this stupid event is like the sun. Like it's begging to be made fun of because Shia Lebuff takes himself so seriously and he has just opened himself up to saying, Hey, anybody, anybody who wants to fuck with me, please come over and make fun of me. Like it's the biggest kick me sign on the face of the earth. Shia Lebuffs, he will not divide us. So he wigs out. sign on the face of the earth. Shia above, he will not divide us.

So he wigs out, Shia wigs out and starts getting physical with people, like shouting, shouting in their faces, not just, not just shouting, hey, fuck you, but like shouting to intimidating cause harm, like screaming it in, in a way where if somebody did that to you on the street, you can punch them. And he's, he's just such an asshole. Oh, he thinks he really saved the earth from Transformers. He's been, he's been, he's been as his mental disability. Like he thinks that he did that.

He thinks that he did break the Stanley Yelnitz holes curse. He really thinks that he did these fucking things. He's a loaned dick. So the cops showed up and arrested him on the stream. And this guy saw it. This guy said, hey, are you there, Manus? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, so what was it like down at the Shia Central?

Are there a bunch of like crazy, are there a bunch of like weird degenerates there participating in this cult? Oh, fuck yeah, there's a ton of weird degenerates and paid actors, lots of paid actors there. There's paid actors who are there to look like they're supporting Shia, you mean? Yeah, and museum staff there was personally keeping people away from the camera at some point. Oh really sounds like they need a wall. Oh

They built a wall yesterday. Oh man those mother fuckers. What we like what was the scene like from your end? Oh man, those motherfuckers, what was the scene like from your end? Oh, so you want to hear about, you want to hear the uncut unfiltered version of shy love buff getting set to prison by Nazi frog posters? Yes, I do. All right. So we basically own the stream for about two hours straight. Our guys were there. They had a couple of there guys chanting their little fucking cult mantra.

Yeah. You know, acting like they're so fucking, they're saving the world by chanting the shit out fucking cult mantra. Yeah. You know, I think like they're so fucking they're saving the world by chanting the shit out of the wall. And everybody watching is our guys, like they're all watching for us. So Shia comes in, he comes in hot, he smacks one of our guys in the chest and pulls them off of camera.

No fucking why, what did the guy do? You know, he's just there to troll, right? Yeah. That's the whole point. He's like, is he saying like the typical, like pretend like the white, white nationalist stuff, whatever I see a lot of guys go, they're trolling and they just say like, you know, typical Nazi rhetoric.

Yeah, you know, they roll in instead of saying for it, Canadian shit like that. You know, it's a joke. Nobody there is a Nazi. No, hey, let me break some news to the entire world. There are no more Nazis. Like, I don't know why we're still hearing about and talking about Nazis, but we killed them all.

They don't exist anymore. Like how much news coverage do the Nazis and the KKK get in the last year. And the KKK, the Ku Klux Klan is like 10,000 people. Like they're nobody. There's a fan group for Sean, probably, that's bigger than the KKK. If they literally don't exist,

and they're like every time I read a headline, it's like, oh, these Nazi activists, there's no fucking Nazi activists and anywhere. I'm not talking about neo-Nazis. Oh, give me a fucking break. Like, it's a guy who's showing up to the biggest kick me sign in the world trying to fuck with the most easily triggered Hollywood pussy that on camera. I'm just, it's fair to say that there's no, there's no organization anywhere near on

the level of Nazi Germany going on. Oh, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it is a drug distribution network. Yeah. Like they have alliances with like the Southern Mexicans and all that and guys get in there and they're like, this isn't what I thought. I thought this was like a white power white supremacist group. No, it's business. Yeah. As it turns out, it's a business that's a lot to do with money. Yeah.

And Barry Mills, one of the, I think it's Aryan nation. Barry Mills is Jewish. Wait a minute. What? Yeah. One of them is Jewish or has Jewish in his family. There's a star David on him. It's just, it's preposterous to me that the first thing people go to when a guy shows up

on a camera to like prank a huge asshole celebrity, the first thing everybody jumps to is a man. Is it not see boogie man? Tyler Bingham. I think is the guy actually. Yeah. Like, I'm real glad that you spent so much of our childhood educating us on the failure, on the menace of Nazis, so much that we can't even get over it. Like, if they don't, we need them, we need them more than Batman needs the Joker. Because then what else are we going

to do? But like dissect the problem? No, I'm sorry, buddy. I interrupted your retelling. What, what happened? I think you forgot anything on the phone. Yeah. No, I'm sorry, buddy. I interrupted your your retelling. What what happened? Keep forgetting there's somebody on the phone. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, don't worry about it. So should I get in there and get physical with you guys? He's wearing a leather jacket. The guy that he pulled aside. Yeah. And he told them, uh, do you know, I'm Jewish? The other guy in the other jacket's like, yeah, so. Shag gets into a space and says, I will fucking kill you at least three times. Whoa! Really? Chad, I love both of you. Yeah, I love both of you.

He's got about a foot of height on him, and he's gonna fucking kill him three times. Wow, did Bumblebee pop out and like make a bunch of sick beats while he's threatening someone's, the threatening to kill somebody? Well, you know, Chad is not too brave. You know, he had to pull him off of camera and away from the microphone to say that shit. No shit. How many other people saw that?

Cause I haven't heard that at all. Like I haven't in all this Shia coverage, I haven't heard that he threatened to kill him. Yeah, because it wasn't reported. The guy who he threatened said he doesn't die. He's not gonna press charges for shit talking, but if Shia laid a hand on him, Shia would have ended up eating gravel.

There's gotta be audio of this somewhere, right? I mean, I don't know. And he's, I mean, anywhere where people are gonna look what he's doing anywhere he goes, right? I mean, he's gotta follow. He pulls everybody off though. Like, was anybody recording this? No, he pulled them off of camera.

And because I'd, like I said, this was great when he came in off the street. He goes and tells this guy, I'm Jewish, you know, basically stopped saying, you're shit shit I will fucking kill you just increasing the size of the kick me sign so then what happened so he so he comes back to the camera and he starts chanting for a bit he turns to his right and he sees a guy wearing a scarf over his face he I guess he doesn't like that he doesn't like seeing this guy with scarf on his face so he starts smacking him in the face to

get the scarf down and then he pulls on the scarf and chokes the guy until he falls to the ground. So just a plant. Who? I mean this guy who Shia is assaulting a plant and like from what's from from whom? From him for like the publicity. Like that, you know what I mean? Like he's oh, you think Shia hired a guy to beat up just to make it in the, it's in the universe of possibilities. But he was arrested, wasn't he? Yeah, he was, he was definitely arrested for that. Yeah. Well, you can get so what? You can get arrested too. I mean, I'm just saying, like, it's that, none of that is that far fetched to go from. No, it's not. It's a higher ad. Absolutely. No, at all. You get a cop, you, but, man, is, did you talk to me? Take these guys before they were, uh were roughed up by Shia?

Yeah, yeah, I'd been there for a little while. I'd been there for about an hour before all this started. Wow. And yeah, so Shia assaults this guy. In the funniest part of it all, is this guy was there to see Shia. He was there to support the movement. And then he got his ass kicked by the guy who's there to support. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do when we go on road rage tours. Everybody who shows up, I'm just going to fist fight and grab their scarves and yank them around. I don't think our listeners are wearing scars. So did you actually see him get arrested?

Probably about a minute later. Okay. And they pull shy to the side. They start talking to him about what happened. And then he says, I don't have to be here. I don't have to be here. You walk back to the camera and start chanting 30 seconds later. He's in handcuffs. Oh wow. Anything else happened there, man? You got any more hot guys from from Shia? Oh, from Shia. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, he's there. He's licking people's faces and stuff. Oh my God. We believe he's banned off the premises now. He only shows up for five minutes every day. I fucking love it. I love the, I love the, I love the eternal self-stomping that these assholes are

getting. Yeah. Yeah, let's just say Shia was divided. Did you write that in advance? Very funny. So he's been trying to say that for weeks now. That's the whole plan. So he's banned from his own art installation? Yeah, his own installation. That's great. All right, buddy, you want to give anybody a shout out? Thanks for calling in.

Yeah, man, shout out to all the dickheads over there. There's about 15 of us. Yeah, that's awesome. Take over that art installation and never let that fucking idiot get whatever he wants. I got one more shout out. Go ahead. Shout out to Brittany Venti, who was there. She, she came there just to stir shit up and she had more balls than a lot of the guys who went there. It was really awesome to see. She's standing up. What kind of shoes did she have on? Was there what kind of shoes that you have on? She had some kind of like boots that I cast on them, I believe

All right, good. I good. I. Hi buddy. Thanks for calling in Yeah, thanks guys. Oh, I love it. She's so cute. I got a bunch of bits from I Got a bunch of bits from From Mad Cucks I thought a stereoist was gonna call in. I was sure, because you know, if you're on the show, it's a show. Oh yeah, he has to barge in somewhere. And this dude, this guy, Blue Knight Brown Horse,

dude, he made a full on video game of this show. Like, no, not like, not a, not an app app where it's like one screen and you're fucking around full on 80s or 90s style Nintendo role playing game. It's got to have something to do with like making it to and from a bar or something, right? Dude, it's it's so complicated. It's it's unbelievable. I think the first episode is complicated, it's unbelievable. I think the first episode is, it starts when the biggest problem ends. So there's a whole first, like an intro to the game. You remember my old Final Fantasy games?

No, you replay those? No, I know what they are though. Yeah. Like you got your little sprite men on this side and then you got the bad guys over here and you go out and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a little move. And then you sit there, you basically like waste your entire life just pressing like a slot machine

except there's no chance of you ever getting any money. You just build up your stats and you walk around, I'm shitting on this game, but it's everyone playing. It's a huge game though, right? Huge game, final fantasy, huge game. This looks like the old like final fantasy three. Like final fantasy six? Oh yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. I don't know, it's the same. It's little sprites, little't matter. It's the same. It's little sprites, little sprites, men. It's 16-bit, yeah. It's 16-bit, yeah. I don't know, I got the guy on the phone here. I'm excited.

It's really cool. It starts where, maybe I should just, do you want to do your thing first before we talk about this guy? Oh, you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So besides playing games on my Twitch, I also do this thing that I've been doing for a while called Bedtime Stories

because I would do it late at night. And what it is is I would have some of my mods of my Discord look for the weirdest, creepiest, or just most interesting erotic fan fiction that they could find. And funny enough, one of my mods found a gay erotic fanfic of this show. Why does it have to be gay?

I don't know. Well, I guess it's between you and Sean. It's a slash. Oh, great. Oh, yeah. I feel the computer's seizing. Well, no, and you wanna, let me give you an intro for this. I flew all the way here for this.

For this? Oh, yeah. So this is a neurotic story that you found allegedly. Yeah, wait, yeah. I'm a child. Okay, here. Let me play you an intro then. Huh?

The dick show. Usually I'm a lot more excited to play this. You got the story. So, we're in. I'm a lot more excited to play this. The romantic story is so rare, man. All right, so what I have here is a little something called You Can't Delete Love, an erotic story by Anonymous. I hate it so much. Are you ready?

Get your dicks out. All right, so let me go. Here we go. Here it is. Can I just, can I pull the audience for a second real fast? Yeah, do it please. Are you guys, there's four beautiful women in here. Shitty passengers here.

So hot, yeah. Shitty passengers here and she's brought two very beautiful, lovely friends. 80s girls also in the room. Does the idea of hearing a gay pornography story excite you? Yes. Yeah, I think women have a thing with gay stuff. She's loving it.

Like maybe not the same level as guys are into lesbian stuff, but I don't know. Is that, is that not true? Oh, yeah. Just love it. Okay. Yeah. Well, here you go. This room's going to get real steamy.

It's going to get hot. All right. Here we go. Good clam bake. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. It began. Wait, is that a stereo's calling in?

Huh? Are you fucking for re- Oh, Jesus Christ. I hope you know. I hope you know. I hope you're not. I hope you're using it in this story. Go ahead. It began as a day like any other at the Underground Studio

bunker. Dick and Sean had just completed yet another fantastic episode on the tremendously successful podcast, the Dick show. It's true. However, recently something unexplainable but still very, very sexy had changed between the two. Sean got all pissed off. That's what happened. Sean was suddenly having trouble not staring at the whiskey drenched a donus before him. Meanwhile, Dick was having the opposite problem not being able to meet his sound engineers beautiful, albeit glazed over eyes. I thought she caught me bored on the livestream a couple of times. After killing the livestream, a silence fell between them as thick as a

sernavich lisp. As he is want to do, Sean took a huge rip from a bong and subsequently dropped audio equipment all over the floor. What a clud. Dick scrunched up his cartoonishly small face and rolled his eyes and annoyance as he knelt down to assist Sean. Uh oh, bump. Yeah. In one fateful moment, they reached for the same audio cable. Dick brushed.

I like Glity in the tramp. Let's find where the audio cable is. Oh my we're holding hands Dick brushed a callus and pants I snuck audio cable into my fly. That's my move That's my mood just to do audio engineers. I just snaked in my pants. Can you trace this one back? Whoa, you found it, jackpot! Dick brushed a calloused hand against Sean's delete happy fingers. The heat, the heat emanating from their greasy skin

could have kindled a big gay fire. Crazy skin, what the fuck is that all about? I don't know, I'm just reading it, I don't know. Oh fuck, Holly, I don't know. They'm just reading it, I don't know. Oh fuck. Oh, he, I don't know. Sheesh. They locked their equally bloodshot eyes. Oh. After a pause as awkward and drawn out as Dick's last roadside sobriety test, they reluctantly pulled themselves away. It was coming from the spearmen, Rhino.

My last roadside sobriety test. Yesterday? No, many a year ago. I'm sorry. I don't want to interrupt the erotic story. No, no. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Cheshires it. Kill on the mood. So. Dicks, booze, starved lips, purged, in sexual frustration. Sorry about that, buddy. Sean managed to cough out in his fat little voice. People do think you were fat.

I know I have a fat voice. I know I didn't know that was a thing, but you should say things that a skinny person would say. That's the problem. Usually, I don't know. I think you just say, anybody who sits behind a computer, on the other side of the glass is probably fat and smokes. Yeah, a figure. Dick's lust quickly grew from libertarian to full on fascist. He reached out, hands shaky from the DTs, and gently... LAUGHTER And he gently, gently...

We're close to home there. And gently cupped them around Sean's dainty womanly skull. Ha ha ha! Sean's eyes sparkled like a god damn anime. Dick. Ha ha ha! Dick. Dick, what are you doing?

He said, taking a sharp inhale on a sizable spliff. What I should have done a long time ago, Dick Murmord, seductively fingering Sean's vintage Nazi arm band. Oh, my God. You want to know what really makes me a rage? It's you, Sean. It's always been you. Yeah, it's fucking you today.

Yeah. I'm not the one who came in and fucked with everything. That was crazy. I couldn gonna sway those butt gags. Their mouths met gingerly at first. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh yeah, they sure did. Their mouths met gingerly at first.

Then hungrily tangled together in a frenzy that could only rival a man's furious backpedaling after calling Denzel the Inward. Hips grinding, their skinny fat bodies slick, slick with sativa-laden sweat, as they pressed themselves together like a slutty grilled cheese. Sean broke the kiss. Sean broke the kiss to coily pick a coke-bouger out of Dick's nose. He playfully whispered some of the freshest, hottest goss into Dick's sensitive little ears. Whoa. And America's wingman giggled like a precious baby angel.

What was that, Goss? He was frigging. I don't know. because wingman giggled like a precious baby angel. Oh. Oh. What was the hot glasses? He was frigging. I don't know. Oh, let's do that. Leave it to the imagination. Do I have any hot glasses? Oh, I bet you've got loads.

I bet he got loads. Charmed. Charmed and emboldened by his soon to be lover. Sean gave the affirmative nod as he reached down Dick's salmon shorts and then he whipped out a shockingly adequate weener Well, it would be shocking. I don't know. I'm just reading it. I'm simply how can you be shockingly adequate? Shockingly adequate. I mean Surprisingly adequate I don't know maybe like how can you shock somebody with your adequosity

That's a deep news radio reference. That's a deep cut for anybody listening. Yeah, man. There was an episode where Phil Hartman was called Adequate in a review and he made it a big deal. It was the best thing in the world to be at. I actually think I saw that one and it turned out that Jimmy James wrote the review because he owned them anyway.

Oh, no, not at all. No. Good episode. Sean's puckered but whole quivered with delight as he unleashed his own pretty okay penis from his cargo. Why is everybody got to have a pretty okay and an adequate penis in the story? Why? Well, why don't you write like other, punch it up a little bit.

Is the word, is the word serviceable? I'm not, I'm not a writer. I don't write. I simply read the erotic fanfiction. You guys are hearing about adequate penises? Not like, penis so big, you can plan it in the moon. You can see it from space. That's what I want to hear. Just this reeks of a stereos.

No, because. Because it's funny. They're too much. I'm going to get shit on it. I'm gonna get a shit on it. I'm gonna get a shit for that. Their two messing peepees throbbed against one another in a heated battle that could only be referred to as dick versus dick. The tension. Oh, the puns.

Yes. The tension soon grew too great for Sean. Dick, he stuttered, inexplicably sputtering smoke like a really cool-looking dragon. I'm gonna need you to bend over, because I'm about to farm that ass. Yeah. But then, but then, just before Sean could plant his seed

in Dick's tile fields, the studio door was kicked down by a large Harry man resembling a dejected muppet. You know it, here he is. He opened his grate and terrible maw and shouted at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, unexpected guests to be continued. Please don't. I'm just going to continue it. That's the end.

All right, hold on. Let me play the outro. Oh my. You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my...

You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my...

You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to my... You've been listening to me... You've been listening to my... You've been Are you guys hard? Yeah, they're all as hard as I am. How was that? Can we get a thumbs way up? Two thumbs up on this one. Four thumbs up. Jesus Christ. Yeah, let's just love it.

Let me get, I've got this bit that Mad Cuck sent in. This is Mad Cuck sent it in. It's called Virtue. It's called, I think it's innovations in Virtue signaling. See what you think about this. It's a new year. It is, it's called, I think it's innovations in virtue signaling. See what you think about this. It's a new year. It is, it is there. And I'll be honest, the old virtue signaling tricks

are getting kind of old. You know, you can only scream racist, so loud. And people just kind of get bored of it. You know, so I think we need new innovations in how to virtue signal. Like you can't like something. Facebook made a bunch of those little dumb reaction things But it's just it's a diminishing return. I don't know that term what virtue signaling well, it's um Okay, it would be like it would be like a person coming out and saying

Women shouldn't be assaulted right so it's filed under the no shit clause. Right. But they would say like, yes, but they really, I really believe this. I think, like, they post on Facebook, like, think pieces of things that are totally fucking obvious. So they're overly fervent in a belief that everyone holds. Yeah, yeah. And but they want to be the first to tell you about it. Like, who is that, who is that, that chick who did like an anti drunk driving thing, that actress and she's like, you're just a real piece of shit. Oh, Helen Mirren.

Helen Mirren and we're like, you know, yeah. Like, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, you're not talking, you're talking to people, you're preaching to the choir. It's a new way of saying preaching to the choir, except they know that they're doing it. They're aware that they're doing it. They just can't, like they get off on it.

They're not trying to save anybody. That's what it is. If we're going to burn court, you know, my burn studies class, which I, every day I think is we need more of a good idea. It's a, it's a fucking good idea. That's what virtue signaling is. Okay.

If anything, anything posted to Facebook, virtue signaling. Yeah. It's all like, you know, so here, I think you'll, you'll get it. I got it, I got it. You tweeted, you liked and shared all the posts. You even voted for Hillary, but somehow Trump's still won. People just don't get how informed you truly are

and there has to be a better way. Chad and McFib here to tell you all about these great new fashions in virtue signaling. When a safety pin just isn't enough to trigger those drum-bloving fascists. Trump is President, the surface world has been compromised, it's time for social justice to retreat underground. Sprinkle some dirt on the top of your head to signal to others that we will stand in solidarity against Trump. The Lord of the Overworld and his legent of sun-drunk serviced wellers.

Every subterranean social justice tunnel is a safe space. Be a light in the darkness. Carry a Coleman lantern everywhere you go so that everyone knows you're a beacon of hope in these dark times. Don't be able to scum. Blind people can't see your virtue signaling and deaf people can't hear it. Carrier did fish and let the differently abled mong you know that you support their needs.

So they know your strength while living in Trump's America by carrying a literal cross. You're not letting this into your next birth cross to bear. Yeah, you get it now? Beautiful. That's what virtue signal. That's what virtue signal. Yeah. Carrier literal cross with you at all now. Beautiful. That's what virtue, that's what virtue is. Yeah, carry a literal cross with you at all times. Why not?

Hey, why take your bumper sticker off, right? Why take your arm with her bumper sticker off? Just leave it on forever. So everybody fucking knows. Well down the street there's still a Bernie sign. When I drive on the way up here, I pass it every time. Oh man, Bernie. I mean, that's, that's really hanging on to a dream. It should have been Trump versus Bernie. That would

have been funny. Right? Trump first Bernie. That goes guy. Oh, man. That was crazy. Yeah. Bernie was equally crazy. You know, like rock paper scissors, you can't fight, you can't fight crazy with virtue signaling. You know what I mean? Yeah. Kilarie and her woman card shit. It's like it trumps too funny. It was never gonna work.

You can't, like you can't, you can't, you can't out clever like a poop in your pants joke. You know what I, and he's all poop in your pants jokes. He's like, oh yeah? Well, you like, area on a husband, husband left her for a man, good decision. It's like, yeah, gay jokes. That's right, you can't out clever that with like some

witticism like the New York, like a, what was that? What is that New Yorker magazine? New Yorker. Hillary Clinton was all New Yorker magazine. Trump was big Johnson t-shirts. Yeah, that's why he won. Because America loves big Johnson t-shirts.

It's true. Oh, anyway, there you go. That's where she's going Yeah, I'm gonna get this I'm gonna get this guy on the phone here. Okay, Blue Night Brown horse Blue Night Brown horse you there Yeah, I'm here. Hey man. So you're responsible for the Dixho RPG game. I am it's a dude. It's unbelievable Thank you so much for doing it like are you are you a developer? That's cool. You've noticed it already. It's, I haven't played it just because I prefer watching other people play it. Yeah, you know what? You two, I'm kind of drawing myself crazy doing play testing.

So are you a developer in some capacity? No, no, I'm just a guy with a bit of free time. And you just decided to make a role playing game for the show? Yeah, I mean, I've had that program on my computer for ever since I was a kid, man, and thought I'd give it another go and decided to throw you in there as the main character. So I just kinda went from there.

How Canadian are you? Like, do you have maple syrup in your blood? Can you hear it in my voice? Are you wearing a mountain uniform right now? Oh my god. This is the most Canadian man. I've ever I love it. I actually heard somebody call in who I think sounded more Canadian more Canadian than this. This is the most where you from buddy. Well, I'm from Canada. I'm not not auto like more more west. I know you can say where you're from. Like I know. No, we're going to the will the

decades will blow it up. I mean, just the just the province. I'm from Alberta. Okay. It's so you guys see Alberta is like the like the ranch or cowboy province, right? Compared to a lot of the others tend to be, but I think it's all bulls shit. Yeah.

But it used to be like that was more in Alberta. Well, because they used to have a talking shit about Alberta. Well, they used to have a, uh, immediately talking shit about, is about worries from they used to have a, uh, arena up there called the saddle dome, right? Because it's yeah, that's in that's in Calgary. Exactly. There's a lot of Cal boys down in Calgary. That's what I mean. Big Cal boys, I guess. Okay, so the game is, it's, uh, it's split into chapters. And by the way, where can people download it if they want to check out this game? I've got a link on my Google Drive.

I might find a better solution for that later, but maybe let's find a little better solution than a good one. For the time being on Reddit, you can find the link. Okay, it's on Reddit. Pete, you play. You should give this game. Give this game.

I definitely want to. I am in the discord, so just send me the link to that. I'd love to play that on stream. If you would let me it starts the game starts at the last episode, like the last it starts at the the famous episode before the one I wasn't on on the biggest problem. And it the intro like the intro to the game. It starts with the end of the biggest problem. And the intro, like the intro to the game, it starts with the end of the biggest problem. And it's, I got to tell you, watching it evoked real emotion in me, like watching this, it's these little pixel guys talking to each other, re-inematics, talking to each other. Me too, man. When I was working on that intro, I fired it up for the first time and it felt just like the old show like. Yeah, it really did.

It's crazy how just just reading the little lines like I can hear the voices in my head. And then I leave, I leave after the recording and I spend the entire first chapter of the game trying to find my car. Is that right? And the keys to go to Mexico because that was the first episode of the new show, right? Yeah, it picks up right where the new show starts. Like me, you're a little fighting party, like your final fantasy. It's me, 80s girl, and Sean, you're in it.

You have to go find you to save the game. Oh, god. Like you go to find the Sean in the game and he's like, oh, you want to start the podcast? And that's the version of saving the game. It's really cool. Like the amount of references, some of the bad guys are like, Cuck's slime. You got to find these bad guys. There's, there's a mini boss where it's like 10 cat-sized maddoxes. How do you find the time for this stuff? Yeah, what do you do?

Well, work is really slow right now. I'm a, I do tutoring. So, oh, yeah, everybody. Everybody's smart enough. 15 hours a week. Hey, I'm going to be smart. It's really cool, man. Yeah, thank you. So saying it's really cool. What are you going to do with it? Well, I'm, I've had a couple of people say that they want to hop on board and help me out with it, which is great because I can't, I can't keep up the pace that I've been doing this. Getting the Mexico chapter finished took literally all week. So having people help me out with the graphics

or with the sound or whatever is a really huge help for me. There's a ton of really talented people in there. Oh, hopefully we can get it to kind of like be a collaboration between Dickheads that we can put out something together. That would be the best case scenario, I guess. Oh, it's really awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I got to see this. Yeah, I do. I really want to see it. Yeah, you're a video game for real, Sean. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's going to be, Sean's going to be in a more later. What do you mean?

What is he going to do? Good. Oh, you know what he's going to do. Everybody knows what he's going to do. I know what I'm going to do. Do you believe things? Farm asks. What is he's gonna do. Everybody knows what he's gonna do. I know what I'm gonna do. We delete things, farm asks. What is he gonna do? You'll be doing all of those things. You gotta put peachy into it.

You're connections real bad, buddy. I was breaking up. No, no, he's just, he's making a joke. It's a classic, classic Sean. You can't tell it's a joke. Yeah. Hey, you want to give anybody a shout out, man? Blue night brown wars?

Well, maybe just ACIOU, he's been helping me out a lot with the music. He's letting me use some of his songs and he's actually made a couple for me. So that's really awesome. All right. Well, you got a wife girlfriend going on over there? What's that situation?

I'm not really. You looking? Well, I'm a wife girlfriend going on over there? What's that situation? Not really. You looking? Well, I'm looking. You looking? Have you dropped the shoes line on any lucky ladies yet? I haven't, but I've got a little dictip for you. The shoes line is great. I find that something that really works

is commenting on a girl's posture because it sounds really genuine. People are real. I feel like most. I'm so conscious about it. It's true. Oh, really? It's true.

It seems to really work for me. Wow. What do you say? Like, do the way to stand up straight really accentuate your tits. Try it on, try it on peach right now. Yeah, lay down me. Let's hear it. Well, I can't see peace.

Doesn't matter. They don't throw that. They don't throw that. They don't. No, no, no. Okay. Well, I can't see peace. It doesn't matter. They don't throw girls aren't that complicated. They don't Okay, well I'll describe it to you. She's sitting in a chair. Yeah, she's Sitting and she has wonderful posture. Yeah, she does his wonderful posture too. Oh, yeah I just say something like Hey, I noticed that you've got really really straight

I just say something like, hey, I noticed that you've got really, really straight posture. It looks really nice. It does, it accentuates the breasts, the shoulders, like a model. Like I could put a chest set on your head, on the top of your head, and it would, like I could put a board game of risk on the top of your head, and all the pieces would stay where they're supposed to stay. You know, risk is very complicated game. I could put a mouse trap or game on your head and it would stay perfectly still. That's how beautiful your posture is.

Wow. I'm instantly moist. That's a great tip. Is that is that about right? That's about right. All right. Good. Everybody on that thick. No, you always have to let that, buddy. I'm working against a lot of, I'm working. I'm working against a lot of momentum going the other way. I got to lay it on as thick as possible. And the other you've ever seen, you've ever seen two like duly's pulling against each

other and like a truck tug of war out there in Alberta. That's what I got going on. I got a lot of self-loathing and alcoholism pulling in all times in the other direction. I got to lay on the charm as thick as fucking possible Like a fire retardant foam like those DC tens that swoop over forest fires and just dump foam on top of everything That's what I'm laying down because I'm trying to damp a lot of rage over here like a meteorite of money and come Thanks for calling and calling them with an update. It's a really cool game.

I got to tell you it's a really cool game. Feels awesome to see. It's weird because you got the little sprite of me walking around and being an asshole. I'm like, yeah, I would do that. That is what I've done. That's stuff I've done. It's great. It's fun too.

I love that people are so, they know all the minutia of the show. It's from the beginning. It's references that I have to look up. It's so good. I know it's like I vaguely remember this. So many times and the new one as well, I must have heard every episode three or four times by now. So. Well, what makes you a rage?

You gotta ask. Oh, sure, I have, I've got something that makes me a rage. People that freeload at parties. Freeload. They show up with no beer. Well. And then drink all the gas stuff.

Yeah, exactly. So I host a lot of parties on my apartment, maybe once every, I don't know, five weeks or something like that. It's like the Canadian, and a lot of stuff. A couple of bunch of appetizers and nachos. Cowboys boots. Not shitty ones, like that guy called in last week.

Yeah. And I'll have a nice spread with booze and everything and everyone comes and has a great time. And then everybody goes dark for a couple of weeks, right? Sure. I don't know. I just seems like if you get invited to something, you should invite them back, right? Oh, so you're talking about one-way parties.

Yeah, no reciprocation. Yeah. You know, see, but that works. That can work against you because sometimes people show up to your party and they say, or 80s girl, they say, the only reason I'm here is so you come to my party next month and you're like, fuck man, I gotta go to this party.

Then it's the obligation man. That's a shitty thing to say. That's a really shitty thing to say. But you want people at my house for that. Yeah, you want people at your party. So you got to make these deals with people. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think the guilt thing is a way to go.

Civilization is disgusting. All right, buddy. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yep, I have a good one. You too. Okay. He did sound pretty Canadian.

He sounded very Canadian. Very, very Canadian. You got to play the game. You got to play it on your twitch. I would I will absolutely I wanted to bring my computer and then stream a game with you but my computer's busted so I got lots of busted computers you can use here. This one doesn't work. Maybe we can fire up all the ass and do it. All right. Maybe I will be yes fancy pants. Okay. Um we Let's hear another, uh, you wanna hear some more virtue signaling? Uh, yeah, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty good. Hey, dick fans. Check McFib back again.

With more great ways to get the word out that you aren't involved in wrong thing. Fit in with the crowd. Keep a flask of coolade ready for when Debbie Wasserman Schultz needs to deploy an anti-hate suicide squad. Speak for the oppressed, tape your mouth shut in solidarity. Wrap it around your head many times, that way it doesn't fall off. It's a good thing the vows of silence don't apply to social media. Ground yourself in justice. Be barefoot to show others your connection to the earth and climate change.

Let the people know you're a safe space, even the word space implies an empty area instead of the object that your body clearly is. Broadcast it, where a space bar is appended. Now available at Whole Foods. Nice. Sounds like a real Whole Foods. Yeah.

You know that safety pin thing? You familiar with that? Now I always love to see if Sean, because if Sean heard about it, the marketing campaign works. He's so naive. He's like, you... I can't depend a trade real life.

No, what's the, is whole foods got a new movement that they're doing? No, if you're wearing a safety pin, it means you hate Trump, basically. You're there as like a safe... Just a safety pin? Yeah, you wouldn't have to have anything on it. No, it's a safe space if, just a safety pin. I just have to have anything on it. No, it's a safe space.

You're a safe person. But someone, see I stay away from social media. You show that? Yeah, I do that. Every time I hear people like losing friends over it and all like it's like, it's because so many people, they don't just talk to each other anymore. It's all this passive aggressive social media shit.

Yeah. And then there's like an audit, yeah, yeah, I don't need it. Don't want it. All right. Should we get? I do have some hot goss that I wanted to talk about. But I need a stereos to be on the line. Do you? Do you? Do you know that a stereos? I thought it was coming. He's going to call in, but he started to do a live stream. Did you know I heard that? Okay, so this is the gosh that I was teasing last week that I got to tell you about because you're involved in it. Okay. Right. I want to make sure I get this. I want to make sure I get the story right. Okay. But apparently the last episode of

the biggest problem, this is what a stereo says. He says he came in not knowing his last episode. He thought it was just going to be a bunch of goofy stuff. He was going to come in and do a bunch of promo and bullshit. You know, he's going to shout. He's going to shout. He's going to shout. He's shouting his money. Shout him drink. He is very funny. He's very, I don't know why people criticize his listicles. Like that's comedy. It's like a top 10 list. You know, like, yeah, it's just it's a bunch of jokes. Yeah. He's reading jokes and he's very good at telling them. I think he's very great. So he has his own Patreon and it's a bunch of jokes. He's reading jokes and he's very good at telling them. I think he's very good. Great.

So he has his own Patreon and it's a huge success. And for his live stream, he answers questions. People are sitting there watching him do questions and he answers them. And I found out about this last week, could have talked about it last week, but I like having a, I think people should get a patent on Goss, you know? Okay. Like the hot goss, if you, like a drug patent, and you develop a drug, you get 17 years to make money off of it. I think Goss should work.

If you've got the goss, that's yours. Yeah, I'll give you a week before we talk about it. But that's, you got that amount of time to turn it into whatever. You got to serve a hot. You got to, it's got to be hot though, about a week. He pulls off. He pulls off. Yeah. You need to back up's got to be hot though, about a week. He pulls off. He pulls off.

You need to back up a little bit. It's a good time, Frank. So this is, so this is what a stereo is said. I'm going to get him, I'm going to see, all right, a stereo, so are you there? Echo on, there you are. Hi, hello, a stereo, say. Hey, good, thanks for calling in.

Okay, so I'm about to drop this, I'm about to retell this, Goss that you dropped on your live stream. And I want you on the phone to make sure I get it right. Well, Sean was also there, so I want, so we all need to confirm that. Okay, so this is what this is what happened, Peach. Apparently, I'm going to retell it as I understand. As Stereo's you jump in and tell me it's wrong.

The last episode of the biggest problem, Astero shows up to do. And Maddox is crying. Crying? Crying because he, and this is what, this is what the series correct me if I'm wrong. He's sitting there in front of you guys during, during the buildup to the last episode, saying, and he says, Maddox says that he just found out that I slept with his ex. And that because of that, I'm quote, dead to him so that they'll do the last episode, but no one is allowed to mention my name. Is that, is that accurate?

A stereo? Is that what you're saying in your live stream? Oh, I believe what he said and Sean was there. Randy was there. Randy was there too. Oh, my God. I thought he was. I couldn't remember if he was for sure. But yeah, he was.

Yeah. So how many men is Manics crying in front of one? Let me say something. Go ahead. I never saw Tear on Cheek. Oh, really? No. I didn't know if I was in my, I'm not doubting him.

I'm saying that I never saw it. Either Randy and I were talking or I was setting up the computer or it could have happened in the other room. Did you get there before me? I'm trying to remember. He looked, he had that hang dog look like he's like he's got autism Oh like no like an emotional breaking point

Yeah, he was felt in for everything else. He was clearly upset get closer to your mic is there you so wait Did you did you see him cry? Did you see Maddox cry? Here is the story. There you go He told it to all of us, like he kept repeating it as he came in. He told me, like I'm the first one to get there. He says, I just find out that Dink has been sleeping

with my ex girlfriend for over a year. He's dead to me. We're not gonna mention him on the last episode of the show. Out of spite. I wanted to be like he never existed. Oh my god. This is the funny thing So Everyone in Los Angeles put George knew that you were sleeping with his girlfriend free allegedly Allegedly this is all this is all this is all you

All allegations you were very very proud to be doing this So Sean new Randy new I knew the fucking made new Like Mayor Antonio V. Rikosa knew you were not being quiet about it So here's what me Sean and Randy is not shameful. We all have to lie. Yeah, we all have to pretend that this is the first time we've heard it. It's not my job to tell him what's going to, it's fucking preposterous, John. The whole thing is preposterous.

The whole fucking thing is preposterous. You know, ex-girlfriends, and I said that. I said, it may feel shitty. You may feel like betrayed in some way, but Dick didn't do anything wrong. Now, there wasn't anything wrong, idiotic. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Is that going to be a debate episode?

Are they going to open up an envelope that says, hey, is it psychotic to be obsessed with a girl you dated four years ago? Um, I'm sorry. I was having trouble hearing you because I was using discord. What happened? What happened? All right. I'm going to tell you the story hearing you because I was in discord. What happened? What happened? I'm gonna tell you the story one two three. Okay. So So you know, I'm there first because I was gonna be crashing with George He goes to sky's basically with my girlfriend for a year and I'm like

What no, no, you mean 80s girl what no? Oh Wait the girl from the wedding and then Sean comes in second and Sean doesn't know that I've already used this lie so he goes to Sean like this happened and Sean goes what no the girl from the wedding for her for a year and then Randy comes and say the girl from the wedding I try to be as quiet as possible when that's just a hard thing.

I try to be as you see how much everybody else gets. I'll use this life. Come up with your own material. I'm sure that you don't have pizza on the right. There you go. Yeah, there you go. I'm your feet here, please. Who's he telling to?

You're telling me? Asterios? Yeah, he's telling you and Randy to come up with your own material. There's something for asterios. If I know myself and I do, I'm selling you and Randy to come up with your own material. There's something for a stereo If I know myself and I do I was very quiet and probably just went oh Yeah, right. I don't know I may I don't doubt a stereosis memory of it But something tells me that I didn't go so far as to say like oh what the girl

When do i do never never ever okay well so wait where's the crying happen uh... but he was crying like the whole time and frankly was like i can't believe it i can't believe you lied this that he's awful but it was it was like a whole fucking show he was putting on for us because he was trying to manipulate us into helping him

record the last episode. Immediately after the last episode of the biggest problem, he lights up the recorder and we record a pilot to the first episode of the biggest debate. No fucking way. Wait, I left, didn't I? Nope, you were there. Wait, I was there for the pilot for the biggest debate. Sean, I left, didn't I? Nope, you were there. Wait, I was there before.

The pilot for the biggest debate. Sean, your memory's falling apart. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, yep. Too much sticky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should I have a brain or mind a resistor over there? Nope, totally, yep, remember that.

Okay, so, wait, let me recap. So, Matt, it's, and we didn't use it. It was the first of like a series of like three or four that we didn't use. So, Maddox. And we didn't use it. It was the first of a series of three or four that we didn't use. So, Maddox. And the reason he didn't use it was because I was telling jokes and he didn't want jokes.

He wanted some sort of serious political debate thing. And it was just like, all right, well, God bless. Do whatever the hell you want. Yeah, I remember that. Yes, I remember. Yeah, you definitely played different than he would have wanted. Yeah. So he pulled you in.

Maddox pulls you in, cries and throws on it. What kind of tears are we talking about? Like a five year old, how when they stubbed their toe, they start crying. Are we talking like, are we talking about the crying game and the shower kind of tears? What level of crying are we talking about? 55 year old man that his father's funeral trying to hold back tears, but he can't, he just can't. And he doesn't want to look like a pussy in front of his kids, but it's about time for his kids to learn the truth that he's a man too, that he's not invincible.

So that level of crying, that's very specific. And then he says to everybody, do not mention me because I'm dead because of this horrible transgression. Right. Of you deciding to date somebody of her and your own free will. Well, now wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute.

We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. We'll wait a minute. years ago, who he still considers his property because he's a crazy guy. Where is the, where is the found out? That's what I want to know. What was the found out? You know that? I don't know. It's the dude.

It's that friend of yours. What's his name who literally called up Maddox and was like, Maddox, I got some to tell you. This guy's been fucking your ex. Wait, how do you know that? Because you told me that. What's his name? That asshole guy. I don't know because I have a theory. I do have an alternative theory to where the I love to find the name of the guy, but it was like, I'll get into a Halloween party with him once

and then we all went to a diner. It's Like a big fat dude with a big red beard. I don't know. He called up Maddox, it was like Maddox, I've gotta tell you, fix been lying to you forever. Like some guy just decided to spurg out and blow the deal. Hmm. Oh, I think I know you're talking about now. Do I know this person? Probably not, right? Yes. I do.

I know you do know the guy. He's like part of that click. He's like not like a comedy guy. He's like, oh no. One of your high school friends is something. What are my high school friends? And I don't know. I just know he was not a comedy guy.

Like I didn't know him as a stand-up burden provider. You got to tell me off the air who this was. Is this gonna drive me crazy? If I remember his name, I just know this guy. I know this guy. He was a big fat guy with an uncamped beard who put away a lot of chicken figures on Halloween. That's a lot of guys.

Well, I mean, no, I'm thinking of a specific person, but so then it went from where, but oh, so then the pretty doesn't know that so he doesn't call up Maddox. My man had been that guy. So Maddox goes for crying, forbidding anyone from mentioning me on the last episode and immediately starts recording a first episode of the biggest debate or the best, whatever the fuck he's calling it. Yeah, I guess we did afterwards. That's really correct.

And I believe that one's there, Randy's there. We're all like, well, how do we deal with this time bomb of a man? Like his world seems to be collapsing. He seems to be super duper sad. We all think it's bullshit because again, this guy is deciding to blow up a comedy show because his friend is dating a girl that he used to date three years ago and has decided to turn that into some sort of holy war where he's accused of maintaining a rape list. And like anybody who listens, he says constantly that he receives death threats,

which is such a fucking joke. Well, isn't there, didn't he literally write an article where he's like death threats aren't a big deal? Like, I think at some point, he wrote an article where he's like, blah, blah, everyone gets death threats, get over it losers until he gets them.

Or not. Or not. I mean, every single time, every time somebody sends me a screenshot of some shit, Maddox told them he says, my dad had a stroke that like he goes down the list of bad stuff that happens to him. That's totally fucking irrelevant. Everybody, everybody has a hard life. Fucking everybody.

It doesn't mean you treat women like property. That's it. You know, well, and honestly, again, earlier today, I was banned from the Reddit, uh, separate it, the Donalds. Yeah. Good. And I want you to reason I was banned from it. I have never posted on it. I've never, I've like visited only a couple of times, but I was banned for it because apparently on the Dixho I said I was a male feminist. And so like it was, I got a notification where it's like reason for banned. Instead he was a male feminist on the Dixho. Yeah, we're on to your shit.

You're not welcome in the Donald. The Donald is not a place for discussion. The Donald is pro Trump all day, 25 hours a day. There's no, you want to. If you want to discuss shit, fire up your email. Nobody wants to discuss Trump. Right. It's a safe space. It's a safe space for people that don't want to be told that anything they believe is wrong. I mean, like, you know, it's an echo chamber, of course. That's, this is amazing news to me that that's how it went down. So, so, so here's, so

I'm still, I'm still going back to the crying part because I was definitely waiting for it and from where I was sitting probably behind the computer, setting up the session, it seemed very close and I, but I never saw tear hit cheek. I never heard sniffling nose, that kind of stuff. I mean, he had the look of somebody who's destroyed and just can't believe what's happening. But, you know, are you saying that you think that you think a stereo should reenact the crying? Is that what you're saying? That you think that would have been a-

No, I don't know. A stereo is where you would be ever in the- I think that it's like a reenacted. I mean, it's not a big deal. Yeah, ever in the other room or in the- I just have the audio. I did not see it. Maybe we could take the audio.

There's no audio. There's no way I was rolling at that point. But afterwards, after the audio, this is serious. You're saying this was before the episode 107, right? We could probably tell in the voice if there was crying that took place before crying forensics. I doubt it. We need to get his cry print.

Yes, we need to, we need the man's cry print. We need to determine audio logically if he was indeed crying. We weren't sure, I think. What do you think crying? I think we sort of down. What's worse? Crying and crying at work when front of other men are peeing sitting down.

Peeing sitting down. Absolutely. Because crying, you could be sitting there stoically crying and that's cool. That's cool. And that's what it's stoically crying. Uh, hey, I don't know, he looks like a pussy. So no, I guess it wasn't stuff. Was it like crying when you went to Super Bowl?

But by the way, that whole peeing sitting down story, is it possible that that guy's dick was just so gigantic that it was dragging against the inside of that toilet lid? You know, it's funny that you say that because I heard a rumor that you piece sitting down a little a little birdie told me that you piss sitting down. Is that true? Why would I piece sitting down? That's what women do.

Why would you defend men peeing sitting down? It's a feminine idea. It's a male fem. Oh, you are a part of your family's family's beliefs. All you do is fucking interrupt me. Every goddamn fucking you find out I'm on the show in pop and I'm right. All right, all right, all right. It's been an hour and a half reading me down.

I'm so sorry to talk about peeing for one second. All right, hysteria. I don't know how to take this whole, this ghast that you're dropping. It means that while, so, so, uh, Maddox canceled the biggest problem essentially on a Friday, the Friday that I was heading down to Mexico. Right, very specifically because you wouldn't be around. Right. So that means all it sounds to me like it's, it's all a setup, like getting everybody in, launching the news, recording a new show.

And it sounds like his intent was to record the new one and get it out immediately and just and literally or whatever symbolically delete me from existence. We weren't sure whether we were going gonna record the last one, right? Did we, it sounds like someone was here. I felt like we saw, well, if he wanted to go, no, because of the way he was feeling, like no, I'm sure there was, he had decided, everybody had decided it was gonna be a last show,

but then, wow, I didn't know any of this. Well, no, because the emails were going back and forth where, I mean, it was like, he like an ultimatum basically and you're like, ended, it was a good run. Because it was like that's, because he was trying to make a deal with you, which wasn't fair. It wasn't. Oh, God, no, it wasn't.

Well, he tried to make a deal for like a year. Randy would always bring up, are you willing to like take some amount? And I'm like, what fucking amount, dude? Like this isn't how you, this isn't business. You don't say, are you willing to take a, you get into the, you give me the fucking number. The two of you made the show. And you know, if there were a contract,

I mean, when you're talking creative property could be songwriting, unless otherwise specified, it's 50-50. Yeah, that's how it works. And yeah, so you, of course said, absolutely not, shows over. But when we went there, we were going there to record the last show, but it seemed like we weren't going to record the last show. Isn't that right, Astereos? Well, here's what I remember. Maddox wanted, Maddox was like, I don't know what I should

do. What should I do? And it's like, you know exactly what you want to do, buddy. Just fucking tell us. So I remember saying, look, you guys can't work together anymore. Just why are you bothering? Just do your own network thing, have Dictu's own show. Just fucking go your own separate ways because I'm so tired of this. Me personally, having to play like shuttle diplomacy between two guys who hate each other.

Yeah. Who was fucking annoying. Like, I'm just trying to comedy. Like for a long time, I would be like, oh, God, for months, I said, why don't you guys just get in the same room and talk this shit out? Why just just fucking sit down at a bar like men and talk this out and see if you can come to some kind of understanding. And I mean, I said this stuff sometimes with peach there.

And he was always like, no, he won't listen. He doesn't want to talk. He won't listen. It's like, well, we did that. We did what you're describing and it was a fucking disaster. Randy, who's at that one? Talk to me. No, I'll tell that, I'll tell it another time because this episode is getting long.

All right, well, I want to say two things before I leave. The first is, honestly, I think the question is, who hates you so much that they called up Maddox and NARCT? Like who has it out for you so much in LA that they were like, I'm going to call Maddox and blow up this whole show. Is it somebody in the improv? Crowd, you said no, right? No. I have. You know what? I maybe mix it up a couple of people. I don't know who it is, but it's definitely somebody because Manics didn't find out a little birdie didn't tell Manics like somebody called him and told him. Yeah.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, I'm at a loss. Well, okay, so you're presenting one question. You got to answer the other question. What the hell did I do to Larry? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I'm sorry, I don't have the answer to that, but a buddy of mine does?

Do you mind if I put him on real quick? Yeah. No. All right, hold on. This was a long con. I'm going to be fucking pissed. I got to find a dude. You know what? What? I'm going to call you guys right back. I'm gonna be fucking pissed. I gotta find you know, you know what? What I'm gonna call you guys right back. I'm gonna get my buddy online.

No, we got it. We got in the show. We'll do it next. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, look, it's the intro to this. No, it was all fucked up. Everybody got blue balls about Larry, man. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, there you go. Usually I'm the one like saying we got in the show, but. One minute to get my friend. He's in the bathroom right now. I think he might be sitting down while he's peeing. If you can just be one minute.

All right, all right. All right, I'm going to play a virtue signaling bit while you get your friend. How about that? Great. I will be right back. Okay. Okay. Bye Whether you're throwing a pity party a pity bar mitzvah a pity can senior or doubling down on the hateful reddig You've been clearly oblivious to these spring fashions are for you Did you go for a nasty woman show it off get these

On it's until everyone know how open-minded you are. The... D-With her. Dress up your best sex doll in a business suit and call Hillary to stick a tour like she's stuck into Trump. Trump, not your president? Sure, we can all be selective about who our leaders are. It worked out so well for the Tea Party. Show who the real president is and leave your Obama-08 sticker on the back of your Prius for another eight years. If you're only recently enlightened,

keep that Hillary sticker instead. The Democratic Party does not recognize legitimacy of any Bernie Sanders stickers. The admiser will see I hate one. Oh, man, Cocks. Watch that person in the bathroom is just a stereos with a funny voice. I think it I thought that's what it was. I thought it was too. Hey, do you want to pitch anything? You want to actually yeah. I know anything. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. So okay. So if you find anything that is stereo's does funny instead of giving to his Patreon. Oh no. That page.

Oh, I'm sorry. Flash of stereos. Instead of going to patreon.com slash of stereos, you should come to twitch.tv. Wait, twitch.tv slash Peach saliva and donate to me. Oh my God, it's constantly spumbling with my phone right now. You know, right. I'm kidding. But yeah, that's where my Twitch is. And actually, I think by the time this episode goes live, I'm one of my mods surprised me with a Reddit. And I believe by the time this goes live, it will be live. So I think that'll be what reddit.com slash r slash peach saliva. So, stuff on my-

Switch.tv slash peach saliva. Yeah, twitch.tv, he's gonna kill me for that. Okay, so I've got someone on the line who does, I think knows what I did to Larry. Okay. Be there. Hello, it's me. Hello. Who is this? And what the hell did I did to Larry. Okay. You there? Hello, it's me. Hello, who is this?

And what the hell did I do to Larry? I'll tell you what makes me a rage. People not figuring out my enigmas. Enigmo me this. His head is bald. He's running low on fame. Bean weeners. Dean, can you guess his name? Oh, oh man, this is going to take a lot of times to play. Maddox's girlfriend posted this thing on Facebook saying that I'm just writing Maddox's

enigma. And that's why that's the only reason the show is doing good. What do you mean Maddox's enigma. And that's why that's the only reason the show is doing good. What do you mean Maddox's enigma? No one knows. No one knows what the hell she meant. And then so they're turning it into a thing where like like he's an enigma. I don't know. No one could possibly explain what the hell she's talking about. But this is I don't hear anybody answering my enigma. I don't know. He's head is bald. He's running low on fame. Pean Winnerstein. Can you guess his name? No, no, I can't. Well, does anybody else want it? This is a very simple enigma. Okay. So you're talking about Maddox. Yeah. That's right. And I'm the enigma. So Dick having sex with you? Yeah, I'm riding.

I be an enigma and I'm here to say I watched my girl get clouded in a major way, answer two riddles and I'll happily tell you what gross thing Dick did to Larry. Okay, all right, so we're gonna answer two riddles. Okay, what's the next riddle? Uh, what are, no enigma's. I don't know what, what do you mean riddle? What are, no enigma's. I don't know what, what do you mean riddles? What's the next enigma? Oh, thank you.

Okay, here's another one for you. Ooh. Ha ha ha ha ha. He has no sponsors, no laughs, no yucks. Name this soon to be canceled, cut. That's Maddox. I know. That's right.

Yeah. However, did you guess my deepest lead clever, Enigma? Yeah, I'm a shit friend. I'm the Enigma and I love to pose questions to those who shit in there, that's close. My small phrase friend who can control his poo, answer me Enigma number two? What's here it you don't seem super enthusiastic to play my inigma game. Oh, well, what's the inigma? What is it? What's the answer to that one? Throw a little back vote anyway. We like oh my gosh the enigma's calling we got This bit No

This bit That's why I Serios I can't know who was there. I'm very sneaky. I'm the enigma. Yes. I get it. See, now I know what the hell you were talking about. I just pitched in right this one. I didn't even need to fix it.

You about it like, I know, but I didn't remember how hard it is to say, oh, it's the enigma bit. I told you that it's this. I fucking forgot. I'm sorry. I'm moving out to nighman number three He lies about rapists, but loves his soup name this wannabe Ted talk cool. That's Maddox again Yeah, I know who that is. How are you so good at cracking these nighbards? I don't know God you're so brilliant Pete. Are you sitting across from Albert Einstein or something?

I guess so. Yeah. Alfred Einstein is telling it. She's like believing the reality of the character. No, I know. So confused. I'm so sorry. Yeah, but she doesn't know what happens.

She doesn't know what this is a reference to though. That's why Pete knows all about the idea. Do you know the enigma thing? I don't. Did you see it? Oh, Maddox's girlfriend posted on her Facebook, how I'm an asshole. And like all these like bullet point list

of what's fucked about me. So you're following the enigma? That's why I'm writing his enigma. Maddox is enigma. That's what I'm writing. She said Maddox's or his, just Maddox is enigma. Okay, okay. It was like, you're writing Maddox's things that I'm,

like to a a personal, because that's what they're doing now. He's just posting shit on their personal face. I was like, well look about how I'm an asshole. Could that be a like auto correct or something? I mean, that's a very strange thing to say. It's extremely strange. It's not that strange.

I am the enigma, a super villain who poses enigmas about the lives of Jess and George. Why is this so complicated? Are you upset, Niggma? What? Oh, don't start this. Hold on. Wait, I'm not starting anything.

Phil, it filled with so much rage. I've got a piece sitting down now. Jesus Christ. Oh my dick feels so good scraping against the inside of this toilet lid. Oh, God. All right. Well, you've answered all of my enigmas.

Yeah. Oh, God. I'll give you the answer to the riddle. Yes, what an idea. I did a good thing. And you won the game. A man named George tried to wreck your name. George approached Larry for a madcast show.

But when George said Larry couldn't go on yours, Larry said no. A cookie-coconut brought this up to George, but George lied about it because he's George. George said when Larry told Dick this disgrace, Dick threatened to punch Larry in the fucking face. That's what I did. I'm realizing that this anecdote might be a little complicated to explain by rhyme. So I'm just gonna use prose. Okay, so Maddox told the stereos

that when you found out Larry was talking to Maddox about doing the show on Madcast Media, you, Dick Masterson, threatened to beat the shit out of Larry. That's what the whole thing is. Is I threatened to punch Larry? I don't believe that for a second. That's what you're just saying. Wait, you don't believe which part?

Oh, I don't believe that you would threaten Larry. Oh, can you imagine me threatening anybody, except for a strip club that doesn't want to pay me my $90 back? No, you wouldn't threaten Larry, you just wouldn't. There's not what, you wouldn't care that much. Number one, give a shit. No, no, no, no, that.

So, Maddox said that I threatened to punch Larry in the face if he didn't do my show. I look, this is as confusing as one of my nip mus. I'll say it one more time. So, Maddox and Larry were talking about Larry doing the show on the Madcast media. Yeah. When you found out about it, according to George,

you threatened to punch Larry in the face. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I man. I don't know That's that's it. This is the weirdest reveal There's a weirdest possible reveal to the

Ignat see that coming at all. I thought thank you for calling it in a Nick My friends are not riddles. No, they're not you use the term. I guess the term gross Which obviously you know, we would never come up with this. I thought it was like, did he say dick hit on one of his daughters or something? Oh, God. They're like kids. That would be gross. That would be a lot worse than gross. Yeah. I don't know, man. I thought these enigmas were really, were really fun and funny and interesting, but I mean, now that I'm kind of talking this out with you guys, I mean, this seems kind of like a real serious thing. Like maybe, maybe this isn't really the enigma's business, too.

We tell you, no, I'm just, I'm just surprised by the accusation. All right. Thank you, enigma, for clearing that up. We're going to have to talk about this next episode. It's too much. All right. All right. And we're gonna stretch. Freddie Moore, Nick Muppet, stretch. Freddie Moore. Oh, good. I want them, but I gotta explain to everybody what the Enigma is.

I'll read the, I'll read the, all right. I guess it, I guess in retrospect, the Enigma does have a lot of backstory to unpack. Yep. Certainly does. Okay, maybe the Enigma is realizing that the real enigma is the enigma. Yeah. All right, buddy.

Thank you for calling in enigma out. Okay. We're getting along here. You plugged your Twitch. Yeah. Go to several times. Go to Twitch.tv, PeachSeliva, check her out. She's gonna be playing the, um, the Dicks show game. Yeah. Thank you so much. Uh, for all your podcasting needs, go to

thedickshow.com, dick.show, patreon.com slash the Dicks show. The Zinc Masterson. See you next Tuesday. Let's play a couple of voicemails. How about that? Okay. Hey, you dick. So here's my rage, right? Ethnic last names. So my name is Anthony Salomek. You need to miss the announcement on the Patreon video. But anyway, the biggest problem is shit. Then, then workout for him. I feel him though. I have an ethnic last name in the socks. Yeah. Yeah. Why? everyone mispronounces it? I don't know your last name actually. Hey, Dick. This is Sarah.

You want to know what makes me a rage when I'm catching up on the Gornus episodes and I hear my limp dick X fairy Raging about how he had a three-some with me and my best friend, but conveniently left out a bunch of details. Like how he wasn't even hard for half of it, because he came in three minutes. The first time. And then, when he finally got hard again, he spent so much time going down on a bottle of jack that he ended up losing it again.

And then, when I asked him why the fuck he couldn't stay hard, he had the nurse to tell me it didn't matter because he was only doing this so he quote had a memory to masturbate to when he was 60 and no one wanted to fuck him. If that didn't convince me, you were retarded. The fact that you thought I wouldn't realize you were talking about me on the show just because you changed my name. Sure as fuck did. New slash. You're the only guy on earth who's autistic enough to get knocked out during a three-some and then you said my real name anyway you can't take away the memory though you know good for her sure it's our it though yeah good for her. Oh, very.

I really appreciate the call anyway. So, what did that girl say her name? Sarah. Sarah. No, she sounds hot, though. Sounds pretty hot. Oh, poor Barry. Hey, Dick, this is Lee and me and Steve McQueen.

I want to put a bounty on those fucking Dr. Phil episodes. I don't know if I can upload any sort of high quality or any sort of quality Dr. Phil episodes with you in them. I will contribute $100 to a bounty on those motherfuckers. Go fuck yourself. If someone can find a full digital high quality copy of the Dr. Phil episodes that I'm on, like all of them, all I think there was five of them, either four or five, if someone can find that,

I will give you $1,000. Really? If somebody's working at CBS, there's motherfuckers all over this world now. You think it's there? Oh, I said it. Everybody wants it. It's all our cut. I want those fucking episodes. They're somewhere. Well, wait, though. I mean,

that's copyrighted, right? It's broadcast. What do you mean it's copyrighted? I mean, somebody owns it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a Vycom owns it. Yeah, but if you air that, you're gonna have to pay somebody. I want them. Okay. I want them. If they happen to like, you know, I want, they were fucking broadcast on TV. They do not have the major league baseball thing saying you got to get expressed written consent for them. Dr. Phil doesn't have that shit. That's on DVR is all over the fucking earth.

Somebody has a high quality recording of those Dr. Phil episodes. Somebody is working at CBS who has access to that archive. I heard they pulled them from syndication too. Dr. Phil episodes. Yeah, because they're so embarrassing to Dr. Phil. Oh, you're in particular. Oh, wow. Because everybody's like, are you retarded? Yeah. Of course, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, if somebody can find high quality episodes high quality not recorded with a cell phone on the on your mom's TV I will give you one thousand dollars for those episodes. I would pay good money to be able to watch those yeah Everybody would I want to see I want to see him again. I look ripped in those episodes look great

Um, let's see. There's one one last one. I'm not a positive one Hey dick it's Chinese Tony and I got a rage today that's been bothering me my whole life Pretty much just boiling fury underneath everything I do It's always fucking pissing me off that rage is myself. I fucking hate myself I've just come to terms with the fact that basically every two weeks I look back on everything I've done and just want to die because everything I've done is ridiculously stupid. So yeah, that's basically why I didn't call back last week. I started and I fucked up and then I just hung up and I was like, fuck it, fuck it. Why try it, anything? I should just stop stop I should stop at everything try it like I don't know back on the other

this way but every fucking day it's like just this fucking constant fury just at myself I'm honestly I'm mad at the fact that time even exists I'm mad at the fact that in 20 years you know there's gonna be a recording somewhere what is calling you know feminists fat bitches on your show or some shit some whatever fucking should i said right now i think it's hilarious but in twenty years if you know somehow like god turns back and i gain some success or something and uh... fucking

you know some asshole post on twitter oh hey uh... didn't you say a fucking Females that say they can rape your ugly bitches on this show called the dick show. I Hate myself. I just want to die Shiny sounding Pretty amongst pretty honest voicemail She's shiny sounding. Pretty honest voicemail. Yeah.

I get it. Oh man. All right. We're done.