The Dick Show - Episode 351 - Dick on Gravy Seals

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

Gravy Seals, Manosphere tupperware sales, The Whale is a comedy film, Gigi Diore in studio, Karl and Vinnie call in with a Scum Parade, non-binary bison, Reverse PUA, the problem with the FDIC, autism and dating and autism, a guy that paid to get his penis chopped up, and the Taliban; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

We should move the show back again to starting at one. Maybe it will get better if we have another hour of prep time. I'll show up at 102. You know, you don't have to go. I'll take all the time that I can. All right, are we ready to start? I seriously don't know what I'm going to talk about today. It's been a blur all week.

Really? Do you have stuff that you want to talk about, QG? We can make it up as we go. We can make it up? We'll just go with it. You're so nice. Thanks. Everyone will be accommodating. They won't you saw accommodating? That's what I like to be. That's my middle name. That's my wanted to be. GG accommodating you or that's me. What do you think about? What do you think about the sneaker stuff? And... So I have a lot of fans that are really into the whole cuckolding thing. Oh, do you? I do, yeah. What do they like being cucked? They like doing the cucking.

So they like me to pretend that I'm their wife and that another guy is like doing me. And they, yeah, I have a lot of requests for that. They like you to pretend that you're their wife. Like telling them like on OnlyFans or. Yep, OnlyFans on privates on chatterbait and sometimes they get customer requests. So then they'll be like, you're my wife and. So do you go like, what are we gonna eat tonight for dinner?

And then when they say like, Mexican you go, no, I had that last week. Do you get an argument? I am. Can I be a bitchering? Over him not doing the dishes? Yes. Let's watch after the altar the entire season

in one night tonight. Yes. Like that and they have beating off to that? No, so, they'll be like, I want you to have sex with a guy that's like tremendously larger than he is. Supposedly. Like fat? No.

Oh, his wiener. His wiener size, yeah. Okay. And then he'll like, he wants you. How much larger could he be? Within reason? Within reason? I mean, they like to just imagine, you know?

Okay. I'm not actually like this size of this dildo here. That's like dreads us. You guys have names to them. No, there's a porn star. His name is Dread. His name is Dread? Dread?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Like girls have to prepare to like do scenes with him. Jesus. Oh, wow. Like they take a bath or something. I don't know.

I don't know if it's true. You want fire with this fucking stupid question and stuff. Because I'm not hungover. Yeah. Oh my God. So we went out last night with a friend of ours, this girl. You want fire with this fucking stupid question and stuff? Because I'm not hungover. Oh my God. So we went out last night with a friend of ours, this girl. She drops this bomb the last moment. I'm totally sober and we're like, well, and I'm like,

I guess I am too, then. This would be a fun, this would be an interesting night. Yeah, yeah. That'd be like something that's discussed prior to going out. Like, that's like like I don't play this shouldn't the should shouldn't game. I just whatever life gave me I just take it up the ass no matter what. Let's give you lemons you stick him up your butt. I stick it up my ass every time. I love

it. I love it. I love it. I'm not going to put it in my mouth. That's gay. Have you met you're going to make lemonade? Bring it up. Let me get a look at this guy. We're taking Sunday back. I'm sick of all these kids. You know, I never thought, I thought when I got old, I'd be telling kids, like, no, you're making like financial mistakes. And no, your music sucks and stuff like that. Right.

But I'm instead I'm here going like, you guys are worshiping Jesus? What the fuck? What? What do you mean, Jesus Christ? Right. Why? What? What do you mean, Jesus Christ? Right. Why? Do you want to hear something really awesome? My mom told me this week that she's grateful

that heaven doesn't have the internet. I'm making them so proud. Your mom said that. My mother said that. She's glad heaven doesn't have the internet so she can't watch you. So that she, when she tempted to. I don't know.

My dad said he was like, you're dumb enough to use your real name. I'm like, not my real name. Not my real name. If I were, then I would be entitled to some do-work. Your dad says you're dumb enough. Do you start to sentence with your dumb enough? Yeah. I see what happened. Yeah. You see where with the end? Dumb enough? Yeah.

I see what happened. Yeah. You see where I met. Why I'm here? Yep. All right. I'm 18 year olds. Oh, okay. So the porn hub, the porn hub pop up, the choices are, I am 18 year old or older, enter.

And I get to choose X videos, gay or trans. They're grooming me. They're grooming kids. They're grooming kids. They are. This is the trans agenda that they're always talking about. You can get them all. Is that work?

Why is that? Why is that? I'm 18 year old. It's in Pro Tools. What is it? No, what is no for this? Is gay no? No, I have 18 year older is like microscopic and my old eyes.

I can barely read it, but it's like. I am 18 years old or older, enter. Okay, yes. X videos. Oh, wow. This guy's wanner. Yeah. Dang.

What the fattest can't start. Holy shit. Let's do it. Let's start the show. Really good. Well, that's got to go up too. I was fiddling with all the knobs, because I was drunk on Nick.

Recated show. We made a Chrissy Mayor show, Gigi, we did. Uh, yeah! Yeah! Oh, come on, you want to get in here? You got to get a show room, it's a contest coming to you live from Mount Mucker. Deepen the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Nick Masters, and AK, the 20-minute man. Now, joining me is always world touring LA based comedian, Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick.

What's up, buddy? Joining us in studio for very special appearance, very brief appearance in Los Angeles is Gigi DeWer. Hello, everybody. And that is not your real name. Is that what we know about you so far? Not to be miscooked, sure. No, it's not my real name.

Wow. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not hung over today. Can you tell? Actually, you're probably not making any sense. It's pretty sharp real name. Wow. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not hung over today. Can you tell? Actually, you're probably not making any sense. It's pretty sure, pretty on it. Oh, you look pretty, you're re-or-bright. You're chipper, right? He's chipper.

It's not say that. It's not the word he wants to know. He'll be told he's like, but it's chipper. Something's wrong, though. There's got to be something wrong with. I'll try to do a terrible episode today so I can excuse the alcoholism. The live show tickets and, believe it, get this.

The meat Carl tickets sold out. Live show tickets, live.dick.show sold out. So go there, if you should get on. Did you go have like dinner with them or something? You get to have dinner with Carl and pretend that he's your dad. If you walk up and say like, hey dad are you proud of me?

He has to say yes. So if you see Carl. I need tickets to that show. He has to say, what are you dumb enough to use your own name? There's still some tickets that I'm hiding to make people do. It's seeing things to get them. If you didn't get to ticket, you know what always happens in these shows?

Yeah. I get an email with this big sob story. Yes. You know what happens? I had to pay off my bills. And it's like, first of all, don't bullshit, I know how credit cards work. You don't have to pay off any of your bills

to buy a live dick show tickets on credit card. It's basically once in a lifetime thing. You're telling me that you would wait to pay off your bills to buy cancer medicine for your kids? No, you put it on a credit card. So don't try to get it done the right way. Gaslight me with bullshit. You didn't buy a ticket because you fuck,

because you underestimated me. You have to join my popularity. You underestimated my celebrity. So that's already you're insulting me by saying you didn't get tickets. Next you're gaslighting me with this nonsense about your money issues. Yeah.

I have my own problems. I don't need your problem worms getting in my head. No, I need your money. I need your money issues. I have my own problems. I don't need your problem worms, getting in my head. No, I need your money. I need your money. Right. Take an advance. We don't care. Take it to Hans, they've been on sale for months.

And you didn't get them. No excuse. So, procrastination. Yes. So. I don't want to hear your bullshit. So I'm going to set some aside, I think, and try to get, and if you want some, you didn't get one. DM me, and maybe we could make you do something embarrassing at the show.

I don't know what it is yet. Probably sing. Sing the national anthem. That's a start off the show. That'll be one of the ones, man. Singers fucked that one up. Professional singers. Yeah, that's fair.

That's fair. Maybe pull your pants down. Show your bare ass to everyone. Let's fuck that one up. Professional singers. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. Maybe push pull your pants down, show your bare ass to everyone. No, I mean, what do you think about that? Maybe they could do one of your- That seems to happen four or five times a show anyway, so it's- Wait, maybe they could do one of your cuck-things, too. Cuckolding?

Yeah. What could you do? Oh my God, I'm having a deja vu moment. A beat singing. Oh. What's the deja vu moment? I was like right here, like, whoa. And we were talking about that.

And the, whoo! Do you believe that? Do I believe in women having feelings about- Like deja vu moments, like you've like, of course. I've had it here. Where you're supposed to be at that very moment. Like, I believe in that whole heart of like-

You think you're supposed to be here? Right. I don't take it there, very, I don't take it there. But, yeah, but there's a voo, of course. Like, yeah, it's really, it's a bizarre thing that your brain does. Yeah, and now the AI's doing it. You can see the computer doing it. I was kind of right, this is kind of right,

that feels kind of right. It feels so right. Do you ever get the weird feeling that none of this has ever happened before? Yeah. That's weird too. That's weird. Yeah.

Non-day-Non-Day-Javu, like right now, this is really weird. This is really weird. Day-Jah-Noviu. Yeah. Are you worried about Kusha and her day? She's replacing pornography. Yeah. Yeah.

I think there's definitely been, I stream from Chatterbait, and one of the top streamers right now is an AI, like Art of Fish. Really? Talking to guys. And she's like a full automation. Yeah. What's the name of it?

It's on Chatterbait. I'll send it to you. I'll send it to you when I find her name. Because it can just make like an infinity of pictures. Yep, and she can make them, like she's the part, like the automation. Yeah. She does what they say, but it's a, it's a computer graphic.

It's insane. It's insane. So I don't think it'll ever fool you. Can you say slurs? Can you say racial slurs? Because that's the big, that's the last defense against robots. They can't even hear it. They can't hear it. and they can't take offense to it either though. They can't be offended by it either. They can't be offended. They can't even know what you're talking

about. They're heads will explode if you one day human and human is going to be a fetish category. It's going to be one of our choices. Yeah. I love it. Yeah, but I don't think it'll ever be replaced because I think part of sex right is that human connection and that touch and like, imagine, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What? The worst part of sex is that human. Well, kind of saying, a mental connection. I think the physical actual connection, you know, like body parts connecting with other body parts. Yeah, so I think that's why porn is so big, right?

Because you can watch it and imagine what it feels like. As you feel like you're gonna touch some, right? Exactly. Exactly. So I think you don't get that with the computer animation. That's true. I don't know, it's fun. Okay, live show sold out. Winners Drink app is on the Google Play Store and get to throw that one out there.

So this country bar, we went to. You went to a country bar. Yeah, I went to a country bar with sober girl. Where? In Hollywood, believe it or not. I'm used to live. Believe it or not. Of course, I believe it.

Dude, the girls there are insanely hot and skinny. Really? We have a problem in LA of women getting too fat. I don't know, if you haven't spent a lot of time here, but you probably saw some of them at the airport. If there was any women over. Well, when we took off, they said, please stay in your assigned seats because of weight distribution.

So there may be a little alarm. I was like, wait, can we get a couple of you people on a scale before we take off? Are you serious? They actually said that. Absolutely dead serious. They came on the PA and they said, please stay in your assigned seat because we have a weight distribution issue. I'm like, don't plant way like hundreds of tons.

But yeah, I mean, so to women. So it was a thousand pound sister on my What are they doing playing musical chairs or something? Why did they need to be announced so you know those annoying families that are all flying together all happy and shit Yeah, they're like the mom was like I want my husband to sit right behind These kids doing the cut-golding porn right now I want my husband to sit right behind me. Because it's a super-sponsor ability for these kids. How are you doing the cut-golding porn right now? Is that how you're shouting at you?

I'm just, yes, exactly. You need to do your responsibility. You don't get to sleep on the six-hour flight. You get to help me wrangle these children. So the mom wanted the dad to move over and then the wife wanted to sit with the husband and I was like, just sit down. It is five a.m. people.

Yeah. Sit down where you have a six-hour flight. Close your eyes and go to sleep. I don't even remember take off. just sit down. It is five a.m. people. Yeah. Sit down. We have a six hour flight. Close your eyes and go to sleep. I don't even remember takeoff. I guess I can believe that they're saying that. Yeah. I mean, we have a massive weight issue in this country, right? Yeah. Um, yeah. So, um, we're at the country bar. Really? No pun intended. No women are insanely hot there. Cool. Which is, uh, they Which is, that's where they're all hiding. We've been wondering,

not in a country where all the hot girls are hiding yeah, they're hiding in a country bar. That makes sense. But it was not a gay bar. I prefer gay bars because like guys going around hitting on women is just so infuriating to me. This guy walks over and I can smell it coming a mile away. You can see him like sideling up, wagging and dicks.

All right, here it goes. Poppin' his collar. Yeah, he comes all over. He's like, hey, so whose birthday is it today? All right. That was his line. No, seriously, that's how he opened. And that's when you started drinking.

And it is when I started drinking. It's my birthday, actually. Do you want to do this game? Do you come over here and do this stuff? Do you bring this down? I will, and I sit on it and we sing. Yeah. You're doing pickup stuff, but I'm just trying to be out here

tolerating country music. Yeah. And now you're bringing your, yeah, now you're bringing your fucking 1998 or 2005 mystery game over here with whose birthday is it? That's a horrible line. Cheers, cheers, I cost it, cheers, cheers after everything he said. Oh yeah, yeah, because I'm like, all right, well,

okay, if this is what we're doing, fine. If this is what, is this how I'm gonna spend the next 10 minutes, five, 10 minutes of my life? I guess I'm all in. I'm not, I'm certainly fine. This is how I'm going to spend the next 10 minutes, five, 10 minutes of my life. I guess I'm all in. I'm not, I'm certainly not letting you run this trash routine all over my evening. Yeah. So it's my birthday now.

It's my birthday. Let's, and now, now I'm engaged with a pickup artist conversation with another man. But you shut him up. Oh no, he kept going. I don't stop. They don't stop Whose birthday is my birthday. Oh, yeah, how old are you fucking 17 man? You better be careful So what do you guys what do you guys all do as a trick is you can never let the women answer right because they will get tricked Every single question is a trick to loop them in right yeah every you have to cut off every single one oh what do you

got what do you guys do we're musicians more lies like lies like done employment that would be funny I would then I would allow you to have a conversation. But if you're coming in with trash, like, who's bread there is it? What do you do? Oh, what's your band's name? Where do you live, right here in this building? Yeah. Right here in this building. Right behind the building.

My dad owns it. My tent is out back. Yeah. So all of his fucking frustrating. All of his questions have like A and B answers, right? So he has like this constant like flow chart in his brain of like where you answer to the next question. And if you answer this way, he goes this way.

He's a flow chart. Yeah. He's got the flow chart. At the end, I said, what do you do? He's like, I'm in sales. I'm like, well, shocker. Shocker. Shocker.

He's got the fuck out of here. I got about, I got about 12 minutes on these ears of audio that I can hear at this place. And I'm not wasting it listening to you. But then as soon as you got another one fucking sidles right up. Another guy? Dunk tank, what a, what a, what a rotation.

You think that you being there would deter them. Yeah, but there's two girls. So it's like, So I would be like their balls with me back off. Oh, I don't know. I need to wear platforms or something. Are they picking you up? I'm going to pick them up.

Next time when they come over, who's brought that? Me, silly man. Wow, look at these b silly man Look at this penis Let me give you a Terry Cruz buddy Here's Vito Here's Vito on no jumper, you know, we went on this no jumper show You know that show I do that guy's a porn star too, right? Well, yes, he and his Girl wife. Yeah, wife.

Yeah, they do another one called Plug Talk. Plug Talk, were they pound the interview girl and then fuck her? They do like an interview and then they have sex afterwards. Huh, what a fascinating little scam. He's put together there. It's after Kimmel, I think. Why didn't we think of that talk show with the fuck at the end we could have got away with that show on you and me don't you think

I don't even know how to respond to that you got it because we're anchored down by these fucking broads uh so here is here's a clip from Vito and me going on the No Jumper podcast. And here's the headline. They put Scott Adams calls black people a hate group, destiny, Adam and Dick React, but everybody thought that this guy Vito was Scott Adams. So the comments are full of like, fuck this fat ass all for saying that. That's amazing.

Oh my God. Thank you. Of course. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Oh, that's amazing. I guess it was just like a string of getting done dirty on that show. That is funny. I would also have here.

I have. Oh, did my girlfriend disappear? So did the leash. So when I was in LA last time, I went into, I was looking for something for a shoot. Why didn't she take the dog with her? Where did you go? That's why. Okay.

Let me see. I've got, are you from the East Coast or? I am. Okay. Yeah. I was born in the Midwest, but I live in the East Coast now. Yeah. So are we the Midwest? Where in the Midwest?

Chicago. Oh, that's not, that's hardly the Midwest. Well, then I lived in these coasts now. So are we the Midwest? Where in the Midwest? Chicago. Oh, that's not, that's hardly the Midwest. I lived in Kansas for 10 years. That's definitely the Midwest. That's the Midwest. I was at Sapphire last night to see CJ Miles dance. She's another, like, only fans in porn star. And there were these two guys that sat at the table like right across from me and they

were totally together. And the one guy, yeah, yeah, together. And they were at a female strip club, which was just. What? Sean just laughed. They're totally gay guys together. Yeah, yeah. So one guy was not into it at all.

So the guy that was into it got up and walked away and I like walked over and I like you walk away in a gay way. Like starting out. Left dance walk away. So he left the uninterested one that was totally put off by all of this. So I went over I was like I'm gonna mess with this guy. So I go and I sit down and I'm like I

don't work here and I don't want to dime. I was like what's your deal? And he's like um nothing and I sit down and I'm like, I don't work here and I don't want to dime. I was like, what's your deal? And he's like, um, nothing. And I was like, oh, you have an accent. I was like, where are you from? Europe. And I was like, what part of Europe?

What part of Europe? He goes the middle. And I was like, he's like mid-central. I was like, so the town you're from is called mid-central Europe. Fantastic. I was like, I did the cheers. Have a good night, douchebag.

I was like, I'm gonna work. Every question that guy asks, cheers, cheers, cheers. Like do you think that your glass is like a magical spell that's gonna make me disappear? It's open. So you could ask these girls where they work for the second, the fourth time. Right.

Anyway. Hmm. Here's a, Damn it, I had something good here. Oh yeah, let's talk about the whale. You see that? Oh yeah. I mean, no, I did not see the movie. Yeah, you see the movie?

No, no, I didn't. Oh, you got to watch it, it's hilarious. Really? Yeah, he's so, like, it's like, it's a movie about a fat guy, right? Right. What is he, is he like a, he's gay too. So it's kind of related to your story.

Really? Really? Yeah, he like leaves his family to be with a man that he fell in love with. I don't believe any of this. That's true. I know. I'm a little, what do you mean? Is that the part of the plot? That's the entire plot basically. And then a little... What do you mean? Is that part of the plot?

That's the entire plot, basically. And then it gets hugely fat because his gay lover dies or his husband dies. But they have the movie is like every single situation that he gets into has like a fat problem with it. Yeah. Like if he's opening a door, he drops the key and then has to go get like a fat scooping wand and then come back and get in it like nudges. It's like a fat Mr. Bean.

Like it's a hilarious slapstick comedy. His daughter calls him like worthless and is about to say is like, if you get up and come over here, I'll stay. Oh, he hates him. So he tries to get up and I shit you not. He falls through a table. And this is a, they're saying this is like a serious tear jerking movie and he's falling through fucking tables because he's so fat. It's like Chris Farley.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Holy, the motivational speaker. Of course, fat people are all upset about it. Um, really? Yeah, because he's like in a fat suit.

Well, yeah, I wanted to get a- Well, because Brendan Fisher. A fat actor. They wanted to get a 600 pound actor. Yeah, they wanted it right. Like, what was that girl from Precious? I guess she's the only one. She's not fat enough though.

And they all go on massive crashed diets after they've been typecasted. Oh, do they? Right, like the girl in Bridesmaids, I can't think of her name right now. The fat ones. They're all fat. The fat ones, right? Oh, Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, she hasn't gone too, too much, but then there's that British girl.

She was in singing one. It'll come to me, I don't know anything. He went on a massive diet and knowing that this multifaceted performer, here's the fat complaints, has won the Oscar for best actor. Feels like something worth celebrating with the same intensity as watching the underdog team win the Super Bowl. But Brinum Frazier's win comes wrapped in the violent grotesque embrace of daren arenoscis the whale uh... there's been a lot of blah blah blah for a film that the creative team has claimed from day one to be a human story about a six hundred pound recluse

it sure is ironic that the films biggest offenders resort to immediate fat phobic harassment toward any of the fat film writers as if there's any other kind who have shared issues with it. Not to mention speaking of the world, the ill of the world is frequently confused with speaking ill of, uh, aren't we past miseries? Look at this.

Yeah, that is like a fixer of it. It looks like pizza the hot. I was gonna say he looks like that's that fat phobia. They're kind of like Darth Vader without a helmet. Pizza. kind of looks like Darth Vader without a helmet. Peter. Peter. Oh, the film posits a fat existence as a personal moral failure and that what is worthy of harassment and mockery. You know, I don't remember alcoholics getting this much defense when Nicholas Cage won for leaving Las Vegas.

I remember that being a horrifying journey into the mind and soul of an alcoholic, right? I don't remember anybody going and saying, oh, this is just Nicholas Cage doesn't even have a DUI. How dare he play an alcoholic to this degree stealing our culture. But here they are. He pounds through like an entire kitchen in this like citizen Kane destroying his smashing up his room. Like just eating bins that will make you throw up. It's so funny. I'll check it out. Let me see if Carl and Vinyr here. Hi Carl. Hi Viny. What's up? How are you guys?

Hello. We are doing great. Dick, thanks for having us out here, buddy. Yeah. Thank you. So we're sold out alive tickets. Yeah, I was listening to the beginning of your show there. We were talking about giving away additional tickets. I don't know that we can get more tickets. I mean, it's sold out, but I'll try. There's always some more in the same. Come on, Sking. Come on, Carl. We can squeeze them in.

I'll try. We can. I'm in. You know, there's there's codes for that sort of thing, but all right, codes fire codes. Fuck, fuck firemen. We can get them in. There you go. Run on that platform. Typical liberal bullshit. Typical, Biden bullshit.

Regulation. I thought you were all about freedom, Carl. I am. Yeah, what a libertarian stance you took that, Carl. Honestly, honestly, now that I think about it, if there was a fire and a lot of people died, that would be some really good publicity for us. Yeah.

A lot of people would be hearing about who are these podcasts at the Dickshell. Right. Mass murder. We just sold one extra ticket. Yeah. I killed everyone. We killed everyone. Yeah, we got to squeeze one guy in.

He was having money problems. He had to pay off all his debts and stuff. He didn't have time. Did you guys hear about the story that happened here in Rochester. And one of the music venues, three people died, maybe it's up to four now. Yeah. Because there was a stampede, they thought they heard gunfire and everyone was trying to get out of the place.

Yeah. And they stopped on the beat. It was a glowrilla glowrilla. What kind of thing is that? I was on a podcast with her. Really? Yeah, I just did a podcast with a bunch of woman glowrilla glowrilla. Yeah. I was on a podcast with her. Yeah, I just did a podcast with a woman.

It's a little real. It is. It is. It is. Cool. Did she bring that up on the podcast? What? The people died at her show.

I don't think it happened yet. I don't think it happened yet. I think that's more recent news. Oh, okay, I got you. Yeah. Interesting. And it's interesting that's more recent news. Oh, okay. I got you. Yeah. Interesting. And it's interesting that they heard gunshots. They did a game.

They heard it in Fettie County. Yeah, it was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight.

It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. It was a good fight. audience to get crushed and a stampede and a venue, but now you probably only need like two or three people.

Right. Step on you. They're so big. Yeah. Get a couple of Brendan Frazier's in there. Everybody look out. Vinnie, how do you feel about Brendan Frazier? Oh, Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. I've never gotten flubbocks that fall through a table, so I don't fucking know how I feel about it. Did you see that? No. I don't know. I want you and I live it. Okay, moving on. What do you guys have for us today? Some sort of, I got you some, I got you some creeps today, Dick. I got some real fun creeps for you. If we mentioned that we're from the creep off, and this is the scum parade that we're doing for you today. Yeah. The scum parade.

Talk about creeps. You get a lot of creeps in your DMs. Oh, darling. That's surprising. I know. What's the creepiest guy? What's the weirdest penis someone's ever sent you? Oh, it was a micro one, and it had like this locking key contraption wrapped around it.

And it, yeah. He did that just out of nowhere. He sent you this. It's just, I don't know. Was it Alex? I get it. I got a lot of just unsolicited dick pics. Yeah.

Wow, I don't get any. This should be asked for by the way. If I can make a public service announcement, please do not send unsolicited dick pics. If we want one, we will ask you for it. I hear a lot of women say that. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you want me to rate it, then at least tip. How much to rate? Do you think if me and Sean sent you pictures of our

penises, you could tell which was which? I probably could. Sean sent me a picture of your penis. Let me take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this. Let me take care of this from where I wanted to fix. That's how you do. And these guys all four of us in a penis off. Sure. And then you rated.

I would rate it. Yeah, I love rating. When you, when you have to rate a penis, do you base that off of how much they tip or do you really just give them the. No, I give them the, so I actually gave one guy a rating and he came back and paid again because he didn't, I rated for it. I waited again. I wanna do it over.

He did. Because I gave him like a five on the grooming and so he was like, I'll fix it, I'll fix it. So he did, he went and like groomed it and came back and he paid me again. I was like, Are you grooming your penis? Like the hair and stuff.

Because I give it like a whole over all appearance. What are the other categories? So I do length with girth overall appearance, head size, eye to grooming. Is there a personality category? Paininess, so yeah, that could be a paininess. Paininess, you know, and curvature like if it gives a hard left arm, right? Is that bad?

Hey, if it's too hard to the one side, I think there's a medication for that if it goes too hard to one side. Really? Is there a reverse medication so your penis will curve? That way. Yeah. I'm sure, probably not. Anyway.

Bend it like that. Bend it like that. And I could look over that way. Good old. Right? Yeah. Watch the TV. I'm going to be honest with you.

Just like an elementary squad, the embarrassed by this report card too. That's how I can be. Talk about this. I don't want to know what's a stranger thinks about it. That's amazing. Okay, guys, what's your, what's your creep? What's your first creep? All right. Well, speaking of penises, let's start down in Florida.

Dick and employee in an ironically named Florida coffee shop admitted to hiding his cell phone under the sink in the bathroom. So we could record footage of the winners of men he found attractive. Yep. Spirit and Valkyricus was arrested Sunday after a patronet, a place called We Spide Coffee and More.

Didn't make that up. We Spide Coffee and More. The more part should have been a blue. Yeah. By the way, I'm offended as a marketing professional. We have the terrible name. Yeah, we don't have the word Joe in there, the word bean isn't in there. These are things you need for a coffee shop.

It's more of like a warning than anything. Yeah, sure enough. Did he make the Wii Spy coffee plays? Or is just a he's part owner, he's part of the first name, sorry, with SPY, I think that's why. Yeah. Did he want to get caught? Yes. Wii Spy coffee and more.

It doesn't sound like he wanted to get caught, but boy did he get caught. Okay. Because what he did was, it sounds like it was one of those one room bathrooms where there's like a toilet and a sink. And what he did is he put the phone under the sink with the camera facing the toilet. So anybody standing there, you can see, you're thinking, you're thinking,

you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking,

you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking,

you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking, I know everyone made fun of it. It was horrible. Okay. Well, it got the guy's customer season. Obviously, it's not very well hidden. He takes it, goes out and says, what the fuck is this? The guy who runs a place is like, where did you find that? I was in the bathroom. Where the bathroom was? He's trying to play dumb. And this guy calls the cops because there was no pass code on it.

He opened it up and looked and there was just videos of people's. All the phone. He deserves every bit of this because you can't get dumber than that. Yeah, what does he deserve though? It's just like a bunch of guys, penises, who cares. I mean, the clue is in the name. I like to his argument though when he got arrested, he's like, listen, they're like, you're filming everybody that comes in, he's like, no, just the man I find to track.

Just the hot guy. Just the hot guy. That's it. How's he turning it on and off? It's a cell phone, right? I don't know how he did it. I haven't figured it out, but I'm sure there's got to be an app. You can delete it.

There's an app like that. Yeah, but yeah. But if you want to record guys being don't use a self identifying device. Yeah, by camera. I love the fact that there's so many people who are caught and busted for crisis. We talk about them all the time because they're using their phone via the other phone. Yeah, get like one of the Airbnb creep cameras, right? I mean, they have many bears and stuff. Yeah, then any cams? Yeah. Get like one of the Airbnb creep cameras, right?

I mean, it has many bears and stuff. Yeah, the many cams. And you've seen those devices that scan Airbnb's for like hidden cameras, like they try to pick up the, the, you know, electromagnetic stuff. Yeah, you know about that. You guys know all about it, I mean, it's those double faced mirrors are a big thing in Airbnb's too. And one of the ways they test is if you go up to it and you use a like a dry erase marker

or a sharpie, you'll see a reflection of the line you just put on the mirror to see a double glass. That's such a good, that's so good. I'm the host of the creep off. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so,

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, great cover for you guys for you. And by the way, if this guy just invented invested in some double-sided mirrors, no problem. Oh, he'd still be looking at Wings right now. He'd be dicking it up all day. Yeah. He'd be having a great old time. Nick Dippin Wings. How did the, what was the guy who finally caught it?

Was he like a midget or something? That's what I was going to see automatically see under there. What the fuck is this? Hey, buddy. What do you got doing on here? I'm not even a fan. I'm just a luffer cat.

I'm so fantastic today. Oh my God. He's looking at it, Willie. I need to do a magic though. Being the guy who thinks he's getting away with this because he got away with at least 10 different films. You have to be getting braver and braver every time you get away with it. Yeah.

And that would, so like this guy's not even thinking about it. He's probably just going out his day, he's like, oh, I guess I got another dick film later and the guy walks out with the cell phone. I can only imagine what went through his head. But he's arrested, he's being charged with voyeurism, video voyeurism and battery. Because apparently he tried to,

he got into a little bit of a physical altercation with the guy who had the cell phone. Sure. Cause he walks out, he's like, you're not in the mood. Come on., you got battery charges at the top of it. Is that, did he want to see the pisser? Did he want to see the limp penises? Like, that's an unflattering penis picture, no matter what kind of penis you have.

Some people like wildlife photography. Oh, kind of makes sense. Did he take these photos just for his own pleasure or was he distributing them on like another site or? I didn't say in the article, I think it was just for him. Yeah, I think it was probably just for him. His own personal safety. He heard that sweet coffee money, cover it.

So he doesn't need to sell these. He's like, listen, if we just keep this to you, I'll give you the tip jar. This is God be horrifying. Take the jiggle. This is God be horrifying. All right. So let's go and move in a different direction. What do you say we do in old school beast reality stories? Yeah. Cool. Sounds great. All right. Back to basics. A man who was caught having sex with a horse has been sentenced to jail this week. Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I think that's probably one of the most embarrassing parts of the story. Why is that relevant to the police charge? He's giggling. I feel good. The tail tickles.

Was it a female horse? It was a female horse and her name was Betty by the way in case any more. Oh my gosh. So this was covered by the daily star, which is hilarious. They had a photo of the pony with the eyes blacked out. No, no, no. That's a fun with it. A victim is a victim, Carl.

That's serious. So this guy, Philip Henry, was called Red Handed by an employee and he ran away from the scene, but he was arrested when his DNA was found and it's a sample taken from the pony. No, not rape kid on the horse. You know how many rape kids are like sitting unprocessed with their processing of hoarse, pussy rape kid. The legs are up in the stirrups. This is not good.

This is only a little pressure. Only a little pressure. You just wore the condom. You didn't ever want to get caught. Yeah. This is not good. Just a little pressure. Oh, a little pressure. You just wore the condom. You didn't ever wear the gun cut. Yeah. Yeah. What is this one?

What do you fuck up, potty? Yeah. She said she was on the pill. That's why I didn't wear the gun. All right. Horses are known to have latex allergies too. Oh, I see. So a hermit.

A female employee of these stables caught him right handed in the field. They say she described the moment. She said he was standing behind the horse that was missing from the others. And so she went over to investigate not not long after she clearly saw that this guy was wearing like those worker pants like the neon yellow ones. They were down around his ankles and he's standing behind the horse. He should have been wearing like horse legs like pants with the horse legs on them to blend in.

Right. It's like a six like it. It's not like me on pants. That's the worst. Right. Trust your eye to it. Yeah. Did you have a step stool? Like how did he reach it? Like that's the pony. Okay. I'm visiting like Mr. I'm going to his way up to the horse. You didn't get that. That would be perverse. The horse made him feel like he

had a small dick. I got that wasn't any good. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to work your way up to the real stuff. Now, this woman chases him away from the pony. They have no idea who he is. The guy who owns the pony is the mayor of the fucking town by the way. Oh, man, you bought that for his bitch. He's got a tainted pony. He's the kid. He's kid.

He's the kid. We got to get you a new pony because yours was raped. We got to get you a new pony because yours was raped. Apparently his D.A. was already in the system, so they were able to track him down. They caught him with some weed, so they arrested him for Beastie Audi and cannabis possession. There's nothing I love more than a well thought out defense. Oh God. Just the insult to Andrew. There's nothing I love more than a well thought out defense. And at his plea trial, the preparation here, he claimed that he came in the field, like he shot a load off on the field.

It's jerk it off. And then the horse sat in it. Okay. Always. And it's sex. Did they sit, the horse is even sit down. Like, I've never seen a horse sit down. I'm a dog, do they?

I mean, I'm not usually. You what, Vinnie? I've never seen a horse sit. No, I've never seen a horse sit down. Yeah, it's, I'm not. I want to feel that one spot. Wow, that's pretty. So, one million shot, Doc. Guys got to feel that one spot. Yeah. Wow, that's pretty. There's a $1 million shot, Doc.

Guys got to use that excuse. She must have sat in it. I slept talking off. I farm at home. I was picking potatoes. I flipped. I happened to be naked because my yard's private. It went up my ass.

That's a million to one shot. I know I shot. It's like, sir, why is it peeled? This is not a good defense. A better defense would have had like that horse wasn't my type, your honor, is a better defense. Right. Yes.

Yeah. So a psychiatrist ordered. What if he was framed like his, like his woman, his ex wife hated him or something, and then scumed out and then shoved it in, right? That's a pretty elaborate prank. No one would believe it. But his DNA was already in the system.

Yeah. For a little more. Yeah, what did he do? Yeah, exactly. He got me too by a donkey. Either way, they said that he was not mentally ill, but at the stand trial. He ended up pleading guilty and he was sentenced to eight months by the judge and this is a quote. When he was handed down the sentence of eight months, his response was, oh, that's not

good. Can you imagine what the sellmates are going to do this poor guy? Not poor guy, but like. That's a good point. So we all know how to file. It's gonna work. Yeah. Yeah.

Horse fuckers. What is that? Like, what if they're all on the highway from them? Probably just stay away from them. Yeah. He's got to make it. You go to prison and just say you fucked a horse. So people will leave you alone.

Like, I don't want anything to do with you. I'm not going to kick your ass. I'm definitely not gonna fuck you in the shower. Or maybe he meets up with the other horse fuckers and they join a gang and they start a gang. It's a pony boys. Yeah. They take turns putting a sheet over them. One bends over and back and one stands in front

and they put a sheet up. They have a mop for a tail that they wiggle around. Three so we've ever seen. Yeah, Jill's not going to be fun for this guy. Either way, eight bunch of the slabber for him. And my last story for today. I need a horse for him. What are you in for?

We and some other stuff. Right. You got to bury the headline on that one. Oh, I'm in for weed too, fucking government. Yeah. How much? All of it. I'm definitely in here for weed. Hey, mine's your mother's had a lot of weed. Yeah. Tons. See, this would have been great. Remember the 30s cannabis propaganda stuff they would do? It's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You get crazy. Like, I should have showed guys fucking horses. This is why you should keep drawing. This is fucking refer madness. Yeah, refer madness. That's a different time. Yeah. It was. You know, sometimes I read stories that really are terrifying, but then I'm really thankful

that the person who committed the crime is a complete moron. This is one of those stories. A burglar is heading to prison for the next two decades. After pleading guilty to burglarity in the less than a 12 year old in Cobb County, Georgia, Malik Antonio Rounds, he's 29 years old. He pled guilty earlier this week to burglarizing two homes and the less senior young girl inside of them. Now, the prosecutors say Rollins broke into a house at 2 a.m. on in February, 2021.

The victim reported waking up to the sound of her bedroom door opening and screened, scaring Rollins out of the house. He was able to get away with two electronic tablets. Now, we know it's giving criminal tips on the creep off. Yeah, like how to get away with your crimes next time. Yeah, how to get away with your crimes next time. Don't steal things that notoriously have tracking devices out of them. You still tracking devices that brought them to his house.

I had placed them there. Well, that's that even the worst part of it. That's how they sell them quickly. Yeah. It's just people you don't know. The burglary was captured on a ring camera and was shared with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it.

He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it.

He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it.

He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He's getting with the worst part of it. He then noticed the light on inside his children's bedroom and found a partially naked roulons embeds spooning his 12-year-old daughter. What the fuck? Oh, oh. I need a little struggle time. The sixth straighter looks at the dad, the step dad and goes, help me. The step dad runs to the kitchen, gets in the chase as well as out of the house. Pearl was taken to the hospital where she told investigators and apparently the rape kit

did bear the style that she had been satanized and molested by this guy. Yeah. Can I offer some advice? When committing a crime, it's really important to stay focused on the task at hand You can't get sidetracked. I know there's some sweet ass But you just get your fucking the cuddling the cuddling always gets you every time guys You got a pump them and dump them pump them and dump them no matter what the situation Don't let your heart get into it. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal, right? They're all the same

get into it. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal, right? They're all the same. This was very late at night. And you know, you shoot alone. Here's in the kitchen eating cereal. No pants on. There's a step then walks it. She's smoking a cigarette. Now, the description of the guy was very easily matched to the ring doorbell. They were able, now they have photos of them. And guess what, he stole two tablets. So they were able to track them down. And it turns out this guy lived in the same apartment complex as all of these people. So they entered his house home and found the tablet immediately. When they go to the house though the guys mom answers the door

Shocker and they're like can we talk to your son? It's like no he's played video games right now He's setting him up still I noticed this dick kind of smelled bad when he walked in but he's in their place Jesus Christ. I was just not a credit to all of your old girls, but even if that girl was 20, I'm just not that horny when I'm in the middle of a project. You know what I mean? I just want to get the project done first.

Before I think of any of that kind of thing. I know, next box. Yeah. Right. Well, he's been playing these games. He's 20 years. Good. 20 years in prison for him.

So those are our scum parades. He's going for it. There's a different thing. You get a brand new PS5 and bring it home. and you're over and it's like, you want to go fool around a little bit. Oh, man, I got this video games I want to play here. What do you mean? Can do it later.

Yeah. I still think I want to show you this. Okay. The guy, the show, Waki, he built a new wheel of consequences for us. Yeah. I see it. And look at this. What's that? Who's that guy that's like Tom? That is me. Oh, it's based on the Rick and Morty episode where Rick finds a new person to hang out with. He ends up like landing on two crows and hangs out crows.

Yeah, yeah, Morty. Check this thing out, man. Holy functional. It's fucking killer. That's great. It's got the boogness on the back there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry that I'm sorry. Why not? It's not a bad idea, we just find it. Yeah. Well, thank you for this come parade, guys. Those are really bad guys and they make me feel like a better person knowing that they exist. And I am better than that child rapist, probably. And maybe the pony.

Somewhere in between the pony rapist and the child. I know I'm better than that guy. So. Somewhere in between the pony rapist and the channel. I know, I'm better than that guy. So, hey, Dick, I had Chrissy Mayer on the show yesterday on WATP and we were talking about her time over on your show, the biggest problem. And she said that she loves you. You guys have obviously become friends now. She goes, I don't know about that veto guy. He didn't even come to my show.

You're supposed to come out to the show. Why didn't he make a serious stand-up show. You're supposed to come out to the show. Why did he make a zero standup show? I was making fun of him for that because... She cared, actually. I know, he's got this like, he's got this social anxiety where I think he thought that she was like just tolerating and he got real in his head about it.

He's like, why don't I go and everyone won't like me? Like an imposter syndrome, like he can't believe or something, you know, like it goes no sun. We're gonna find out. I'm really like, why don't I go and everyone won't like me? Like an imposter syndrome, like he can't believe or something. Well, he always goes now. Son, we're gonna find out. I'm really like, I'm really suck. It's more like they just don't like me. And he makes himself uncomfortable thinking that. Like, well, she asked about you and he's like,

yeah, of course she just asked, like, because it's you. And she's like, well, where's Vita? Like, no, she should be there. You fucking idiot. Some people have a hard time believing that. And then he comes on the next week and he's probably do a show biggest problem where we bring in like, what's the biggest problem

in the universe every week and argue about it? It's for charter stuff. And he brings in like community detachment. Like Vito, you just like all the local comedians were there and you decided not to come for no reason. That was why. I think he's afraid of girls. If I had a

I'm not going to tell you you're wrong. I know you're not. Chrissy's like, yeah, you wouldn't even make eye contact with me. It seemed really weird. All the sheet talks on the internet. And that was the guy. It's very different. Yeah, I told her that he was a nice guy.

Too nice. Yeah. Oh, well, we tried. Bring Chrissy to Philly, commuter. That's where I met Shiji at Chrissy's show. Oh, well. Chrissy and I are tight tight. We're really good friends.

Oh, very cool. Yeah, I've been a Chrissy forever. Okay, I'm tight with Chrissy as well. She's getting married in June. Oh, big wedding coming up. Wow. I want to have her bridesmaids. Oh, big weddings coming up. Wow. I want to have her bridesmaids. Oh, really?

No, I'm not. You're quiet. And I was like, wait, did you know? Yeah, I wanted the bridesmaids. Cool. So I don't like to like talk, you know, it's like her business to talk, but yeah. Are you gonna get a present for her wedding?

Yeah. No, it's Carl. No, no, Carl. Yeah, of course, I'm going to it. Yeah. Nook is Carl. Nook is Carl. Yeah, of course I'm going to do it. Yeah. Well, then I'll see you there. Yeah, man. Sam, what are you talking about?

You don't have to get them a present. They can't take the food back. Yeah. Good point. You just show up. Interesting. I didn't have time. Try that one.

Right. Get them a card. It's a whole new wedding crash. I would have gotten a present but I just don't care enough. Dear so-and-so. I'm your gift. You're lucky I showed. Her stand-up was funny. She talked about how she's got to convert her material from...

These are her words, I think. She's got to convert her material from being a whore, to being a wife This is like I'm making all these sandwiches I'm doing jack off motions in my face and people listening at home. Yeah, that's funny Okay, thank you the creep off we're live on YouTube on the creep off channel every Monday at 1 p.m. Eastern time That's us. I'm in Florida tomorrow, so I won't be about Brian Johnson from Tell them Steve Dale will be joining Vinnie. We are going to have a Smackdown.

It is going to be creepiest hog farmer tomorrow. Oh, boy. We're going to find out who's the creepiest hog farmer of all time. That's just quite a competition, I guess. Steadmin. You have no idea. There's more than one. There's more than one. So that's.

Yeah, get it. Yes. Okay, guys, thank you. You're on Backed by two. We are. We're on Backed by. Yeah. Okay, guys, thank you very much for calling in.

Have a good one. I just let her shine by Gator. Fight. Oh, my, there we go. There we go. There we go. Oh, I love those boys. Yeah.

Let's see. Okay. Well, we were talking about penis ratings. Yes. Okay. And how much do you charge for those? Mm. Like $20, $30.

What's the biggest creep that you've got in your... So I have had a guy who wanted me to do a costume, and he wanted me to pretend that I cut him up and cooked him and then ate him. So the best part about it was that I actually got to be like really creative. So I took like one of my dildos and I put it in a zip lock bag. Right? No!

And I put it on a cutting board and I like got to make like my own blood. Like I really like, no! And I put it on a cutting board, and I got to make my own blood. Like, I really went, I was like, I was like, a Saturday? Why not? Oh, fuck her up with this. You pretended to cut up a d- like it was his penis? Yeah.

Ah! And then I put it, I had on this black, lazy outfit, bright red lipstick, and these, like, here's the other thing too, is I had to have on, like, kitchen, like, like, long gloves. Like, yeah, and these, like, other thing too is I had to have on, like, kitchen like, like long gloves. Like, yeah, rubber gloves, like, different washing gloves. Yep, exactly.

And so that was part of the fetish. So I had to like snap on. That is very specific, oh my God. So then I put it in like a roasting pan, and I like wanted over to the oven, and then I brought it back to the kitchen, and I like pretend to cut it up and eat it. And I'm like, oh oh it's so meaty.

It's so tender. So yes, that would be the creepiest. That's. That's creepy. Oh, that's cool. You're like, that's cool. Yeah, that's creepy. I thought it would be.

Go and check this out. Oh my god. Here's a boy. Here's a woman fainting on. I don't know why she's stroking out here something must have happened something crashed inside of her I think this is local news. Oh, she joins us live in the studio. Alyssa, this really is the calm. Oh, she goes not again. I think she was saying, I think she thought she was joking, making like a face. Because it's raining. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why should I get it? It's raining again. It's raining again. It's raining again. Because she's making that face. It's like a kid. But she's actually stroking out. Oh my God.

And then she goes, what? What the, what happened to her? I put you to the video, Alyssa, this really is the call of 409. No, no. No. Oh. You know, we're going to go ahead and go to break right now.

Or she's just, or did, so I, I know somebody with a condition like that. Yeah, I was a call of getting injected with a condition like that. Yeah, was it called getting injected with a experimental gene therapy medication? Is that what the condition was? No, I can't remember what you call it, but yeah, there are people who that happens to. Oh, really?

She fell one time and fucking busted her teeth out. They should've known. They should've known it's a kind of television. Cause that's hilarious. The lady's would go up. Yeah. I thought she was just going to go on the desk and then she went, oh, the bus. She committed this real commitment.

She did. She went all the way down. Oh, see what else I have here. That's amazing. I'm a big follower. I'm a big fan of the Taliban. Everybody knows that, right? Yeah.

And my enemy is a friend of mine, you know. I don't know. So they've passed updates. They're a good bunch of guys. They just like hanging out. They like hanging out. They don't like women so much. I like hanging out, you know, we're kind of,

we got similar mindset. This is how they love terrible hide and go seek. They love capping on the US government and explaining like they call us Godless homosexuals, the US army and government. They love the American people, of course. Really? Oh yeah, yeah.

This is one of their descriptions of how they won the war. Everyone played an important role in the struggle and eventual victory against the US. Mercelline would hide for hours each day and in this strategically placed pot and secretly report on movements of the imperialist troops via radio.

He had to under harsh conditions and avoid enemy vehicles. He's like Oscar the Houndori oven, right? I mean, this guy, this little guy, sit in a pot all day. He is he. He got a big pot and he'd peek out like that. And then go back and... No lid, nobody happened to walk up. I assume there's a big pot and peak out like that. And then you know, then.

No lid, nobody happened to walk up. I assume there's a lid like Indiana Jones, right? Yeah, what if somebody just, you know, takes it, you know, your board, you're walking around with guns, right? Just take a pot shot at that fucking thing. Like you think that's pot, it had been kicked over, you know? You think, what do you just, do you go around kicking over pots and trash cans? I don't think so.

If it's not your, if it's not your country, definitely. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, he said he had to avoid vehicles, enemy vehicles. So yeah, the last one there, it said, oh yeah, he had to avoid enemy vehicles. There's no bottom on the pod. He just stands it up like a bullet in a cartoon. Yeah, beep beep beep beep beep beep creeps over.

Dixit, yeah. Uh, here's a, maybe don't say yourself down in the middle of the street if you want to avoid cars. No, I think they think they say, what's that pot doing in the art of that bench? Maybe it's from somebody who doesn't want it anymore. Doesn't want it, you know, you just leave it out on the curb

and somebody comes and gets it. Picks it up, but there's a huge in it. Wow, it's really well-made. Like that muppet, remember the big muppet that would carry Oscar around? That Gus was his name, I think. I'm gonna put him around. They probably had that.

They call us, I think this is a real account. Yeah, of course it is. They call us godless homosexuals. That's true, I think. Yeah. Oh yeah, it's just fucking great, man. It's just great because they actually did it. They actually fucked over the US government,

took a bunch of stuff and they won. You know? No one else can I vicariously live this experience? Movies are all bullshit, dogs shit, talking about morals, morality that I don't want to experience and disagree with. But here we have these wonderful men just tap dancing all over the corpse of the US headgemony. They started, they started a fight and they fucking won.

They just, they just out loud. They say, no, we'll just, we'll just, we'll just keep doing it. Yeah, they just outlasted us. Uh, it's wonderful, wonderful. All right, what else do I have here? Speaking of cartoons, let me see if I can find this non-binary bison. Non-binary bison.

Netflix quietly cancels kidshow featuring a non-binary animal character. Do you only non not binary people? I don't. Oh, my God. Trick question. Let's see here. Oh, give me the actual one. Not somebody recording their television.

Maybe I can find it on Twitter. Fred the bison. But it's Fred. Isn't historically Fred. Shit audio. Shit audio. They're just recording the audio. My horse says yeah. Here we go, Sean. You got to hear this one. Okay. Kids show. Yeah. There's a little bison girl talking to her grandma. Well, my heart says that the way I feel most myself is to go by the name Fred. That's because I'm non-binary and Fred is the name that fits me best. And I also use they and them because I'm calling it she or he.

Yeah. You're right to me oh I didn't know that oh one do you've been struggling how could you that's what your grandparents are gonna say I was just gonna say it from a couple generations back

they're gonna go what the fuck are you talking about this is our parents by the way and your kids are drugs in here our parents. I fucking know I'm very well That's why you're struggling I don't know why she's Jewish I know I don't know why she's Jewish. I know. Sorry, I used to wrong pronouns for you.

Oh, crap. That was interesting. Why? It's because it's above me. That is. It's like Fred Flintstone. Isn't that historically a masculine name? I believe it is.

I believe it is. Yeah. Right? You could have picked. You could have picked a thousand other names. Like that are. That are. That are non.

That are non. Oh yeah. Right. Why is the fuck is it a non-binary Fred then? I've never, there are no non-binary Freds. It's not about your Taylor's alt-taly-wise. This is because this was because this was the case. The came up with a storyline like this after the character was already named and had been on the show.

So it's like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, we'll have a, she'll have a grandson named Fred or whatever, and then they're like, what if we made Fred non-binary? We can't change the name. But like, you know, that's, they don't tell you what it is though. This is like way too complex shit for kids. Like it's,

but they can't have legs for adults apparently. Do you have kids? I do. You do how old are they? They get this stuff more than we do. Like it's just been crammed down there poor little brains. And they just like, you know, they just don't know any different.

It's like stuff we grow, you know. Like you got plenty of time to learn about this shit. So, as they learn, I mean like, or understand it or be able to be like, well, I don't know, maybe they think differently than I do, or they think, you know what I mean? Like it's, you cannot think in like that at that age.

Like there's no point. I was so sheltered that in high school, we went through a sex ed class and I didn't understand. Do I do sex ed in high school? Yes. That's a little late. Midwest.

And I didn't understand how late. This is like just to show. Like my kids knew gay and all of that. Far, far, far younger. I knew like, I learned how gay people had sex in high school. I learned about gay the first time with my dad. I remember going, what do you gay? Anyway, I lost his top. No, I'm going to show you gay. Yeah, he's not gay. They knew how old were they when they did sex ad?

Uh, with the line, um, the fourth grade. Yeah. My girlfriend's a teacher. She has to teach sex ad and they have to go through like a seminar every year to like get updated on what's new and sex. Got it. What's new and sex ad?

Yeah. For teaching the kids, they give them like a refresher. Sure. So it's new and sex. Got it. For teaching the kids, they give them a refresher. Sure. So it's a Zoom call. They're usually doing in the living room. Uh-huh. How is messing around? It involves a dildo and a knife.

They do try to tell them dumb shit to tell the kids, but then they say whatever they want. Okay, well, I'm telling them like actual stuff. So I was in the background messing around, cleaning stuff up, not doing the dishes. They're talking about these like nervous people, like lecturing about like how you teach kids about sex education. So I was in the back and I thought it would be funny to just start going like this. But it was a video call. Oh, shit. I'm so glad I was right. So they actually have changing closets in schools now where the kids can go to school.

Yeah. Their parental purchase. Is it real? It is. Okay, and what happens? Per rental purchased clothing. And I think, did I tell you this, Chris? I don't think so.

I don't remember if we talked about this or not. So they can go to school and their parental purchased clothing. And I think did I tell you this at Chrisys? I don't think so. I don't remember if we talked about this or not. So they can go to school and they're parental-perchist wardrobe and they have, you know, other wardrobe there. So if a boy goes, I should say boy loosely, goes and identifies as a girl, he can change at school, wear those clothes during the day and then change back. And I think it's the worst idea ever because like you're excluding the parents and the schools are full of pedophiles. And I think it's the worst idea ever because like you're excluding the parents and other people. Okay, schools are full of pedophiles. That's why it's a bad idea.

And parents help you out here. To the parents, the school is like aiding and abetting. Right, exactly. In pedophiles. In pedophiles and in like just secret it. Like it's like, oh, shh, we'll keep this from Ramadan.

It'll be our little secret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. Meanwhile, we have that bank that I talked about last week got bailed out. You see that? Yeah. So the Silicon Valley Bank got bailed out. I don't know, to the tune of like 300 billion dollars.

So here's something interesting, just great. The FDIC insurance that exists for all everyone's accounts has about 130 billion in the account to save people. And there's 19 trillion dollars of money in the deposits in the U.S. So that might be an issue. I don't know. They're going to be able to cover that. I don't know. So now, now because the federal reserve has decided that only some banks at big banks get all of their deposits covered completely. I got it. So small banks and medium sized banks do not.

Yeah. Big banks though. So now everybody's thinking all their money out of the, obviously, the smaller banks. And giving it to the banks that will be insured guaranteed by the government, which makes me ask, well, then what is the difference between the government and the bank? Right. If they're totally, if they're backing it, then it's just, then it's nothing in there.

It's just one lay, it's just a veil. Yeah. It's just one lay, it's just a veil. Yeah, it's just a different name. It's now it's just the government doing gigantic, risky loans with money that doesn't exist, that they've created time and time again, like, where's my money? And still at a deficit. You can't, like, no matter what bank you put that in, there's still going to be a huge difference. It's either going to be gone when they play with interest rates again, or it's just going to be used to gamble.

Let me find the, I think there's a video I have on, on, on, uh, Jalen explaining this in more complicated terms. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, here. Oh, it's four minutes long, I don't know about that. I was talking about the banking issues we're dealing with on it. Will the deposits in every community bank

in Oklahoma, regardless of their size, be fully insured now? Are they fully recovered? Every bank, every community bank in Oklahoma, regardless of the size of the deposit, will they get the same treatment? No. The SBB P just got, or signature bank just got.

Bank only gets that treatment if a majority of the FDIC board, a super majority, a super majority of the Fed board, and I in consultation with the president determine that you don't know you don't know. Protect uninsured depositors would create systemic risk and significant economic and financial consequences. So what is your... So no.

So no. So what is your... So if you got a bunch of hedge fund, bros, Chairsing and asking you where you work and if it's your birthday, they get all their money covered forever. But if you've got some little bank in Ohio,

or wherever the fuck he said, you're talking Oklahoma. Oklahoma. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end of the whole system. And now all belongs to the government. And one week, in one week, complete

takeover, over lies. You're playing that determination. Right. So, so what is your plan to keep large depositors from moving their funds out of community bank? Coherent, someone coherent asking a coherent question. The merge of banks over the past decade, I'm concerned you're about to accelerate that by encouraging anyone who has a large amount of community bank to say, we're not

going to make you whole. But if you go to one of our preferred banks, we will make you whole. Yeah, got a day, the government. Yeah, it's insurance. You got to be a network. And that works just great. Certainly not fucking riddled with senility. An old woman riddled with senility

and wet brain. And wet lips. lecturing, lecturing on how pontificating on how this is not the total destruction of the entire fucking banking and the entire fucking banking sector. Self-parclined Well, it's it's not fascism because we don't call it that call it that

Total bank takeover. Yeah, and we're sitting around eating gay chocolates and arguing about who's gay penis it is to suck Totally everything gone. Oh god So that happened this week. I did an interview with coin desk. Have you heard of them? I have not. Coin desk, it's like the premiere crypto newspaper on backed by for backed by. Would you now join with credit cards if you want to use your credit card on backed by?

I walked him through like what happened to me and why MasterCard won't let me process any credit cards. He's like, wow, really? Like all this stuff. So I sent him all the emails for it. So people don't think about it unless I've kind of experienced it, I think. Yeah. I sent him all the emails about it.

He's like, yeah, it's really fucking busy. It's hard reading this. Uh, MasterCard has really pulled their backing. They've really messed up a lot of platforms by pulling their backing on them. Oh, they hate porn, right? They hate porn. Is that weird? Yeah. Mastercard is really pulled their backing. They've really messed up a lot of platforms by pulling their backing on this. Oh, they hate porn. They hate porn. You're that weird?

You can't process anything through PayPal. Nothing. I've had friends in the industry that they were getting PayPal for different things. One girl had like $22,000 on her PayPal and lost it. Oh! They confiscated all of it and shut the account down. So Trump's getting like arrested or whatever, play arrested. I don't even know. Did you hear about that? What? You're resting him on some mistom like this week on as the White House turns. Yeah.

Like there are people who want to nickel and dime over what his offenses are, but it's like, well, yeah, because he's Trump. That's why it doesn't matter what you think he did or accusing him. He's a fucking president that accidentally maybe tried to do a coup and he's getting arrested because everyone loves him. That's why. There's no other, there's no legitimate reason why you guys just always want to be in charge and you want to get rid of that guy.

Because he's the only guy fucking it up a little bit, even through gross incompetence and buffonery, just because he says, just because he's so funny. He's able to totally fuck up your scam, this criminal scam that you're perpetrating on the American people, and you have to, you have to shut him up somehow. They don't want Tim taking their shine. No, they really don't. It's like, oh, okay, we're gonna, we'll put him in prison. Well, shut those, shut these Americans up.

Guess what? So he's fucking enough, he's fucking enough for people. He's the guaranteed nominee. If you can pictures of him, in Cubs, in jail, just ages who? Yeah, that's true. He's gonna be the contender. That's true.

I don't think Trump's competent or evil enough to steal an election, which he has to do now, because there is no pot. You cannot possibly organically get the votes to compete with direct ballot harvesting, especially after four years of training to ballot harvest, right? I mean, that's like, that's fucking, that's obvious. You go to every project and go, hey, yeah, come here, give me that, give me that, give me that sign here. Let me help you sign it sign it actually I'll just do it for you. Vovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovovov fat women. If they were to say, dude, if they weren't afraid to go into black neighborhoods, they could get a plea. Exactly. Exactly. Why aren't you doing, why don't you do the same

things? I send in the fucking military to do it. Do something, grow some fucking balls. Everything with the Republicans has to be, I'm not making fun of fat women, I'm just worried about their health and their size. Oh yeah, I'm not making fun of trans people. I'm just worried about the effect on children. It Oh yeah, I'm not making fun of trans people. I'm just worried about the effect on children. It's all these things like, oh yeah, okay. We need fairness. We can't just do what they're doing. Every celebrity should be arrested.

If Trump goes to jail, every celebrity, every celebrity, every person that works at PayPal, just walk in, you got the guns, you're arrested. Why? Weed, I don't know crimes you're gonna jail though but yeah I'm here some Texas the Texas got uh Ryan DeSantis sent me over here I work over there we're resting here we're dragging one to a plane we're putting you in fucking jail oh why this isn't fair yeah sorry well the students trump gets out fair sorry you got $22,000 dollars is somebody's money and you're fucking account is play money for you. It's numbers in a day base

But for them, it's real fucking money. So you're going to fucking jail for theft all of you We're building a wall around Silicon Valley. We're gonna put guards out there and they see anybody move They will fucking shoot them. I think that's a fair response to Trump getting arrested and I don't think he's such a great guy. It's just the way it is. How can they not see this? We need a super villain president. Okay, what else? Here's a fun one. This might be a fun group activity. Somebody sent this in. Marco Esquindola says, I've done this stupid exercise or similar enforced D-I-E-I. I'm sure he means session in grad school. It's okay.

One is a huge gotcha question. Every answer you give would be wrong. And even if you gave a convincing rationale, the instructor would say like, oh, the old person you left is a second. So they do this dumb activity. I don't know, it's popular. A friend of mine who works in a public university sent this to me earlier this week. It's page one of the DEI training.

What's DEI? Diversity. What is it? Do you know, Gigi? Diversity, I can include you. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.

It's a, you know. Something inclusion. Equity. Yeah, and his department is forced to take that diversity. Starting with an exercise that asks which intersectional identities you'd save and which you'd leave to die. This is like the Mary F.

Well, it's Mary F. Kill, but for, for races. So yeah, you want to play the Maryfuck kill game? Because if you want to go to, if you want to get a higher education, it says Jesus was a child. So Maryfuck kill. Yeah, we played this game in real life for the millennia. Right. If you want to Maryfucker kill, here's the activity. This is this is page one of training. Oh, I like this game diversity. The 12 people listed

Below you get to leave one behind Have been selected as passengers on a spaceship for a flight to another planet because tomorrow the planet earth is doomed for destruction Due to changes in space limitations It's now been determined that only eight persons may go. Any eight qualifies. You have to pick eight people who you save from the Earth exploding. Eight out of 12.

The accountant with the substance abuse issue would not have a substance abuse issue by the time they got to space because he'd withdrawal. You don't think they have bringing drugs on? You think you're doing space blow? You're gonna run out. So eventually, I'm definitely going to run out. Eventually, you will go through with draw and you will be. So you have the account none. I bring the account numbers guy all the way. He comes on board. He can sober up.

A militant, you know, I need taxes in Mars, though. True. What do you need an account for? A militant African American medical student, Sean, you're not going to leave the black guy on Earth to explode. Are you? And he's a doctor. This is obvious. Well, it's a medical student, right? Oh, okay.

That's true. Playing. A 33 year old female Native American manager who does not speak English. Would you fuck Mary or kill that woman? What if you leave her? Who's she going to tell? That's true. You're reputations intact. What do they speak? You could do whatever you want to. She can't tell anybody what you did. The accountant's pregnant wife. Are you going to fuck Mary or kill the accountant? Yeah. Is it your accountant

or the accountant? The accountant. Yeah. I think it's number one's account. Yeah, uh, yes. Oh, yeah, fuck right. You're right. Yeah, you know she puts out. Yeah, she's a, she can't get pregnant again. You can't get pregnant again. You can't do that once in a time.

Yeah. So I got a fuck her a famous novelist with a physical disability. They don't say what the disability is. I mean, why do we have that? a famous novelist with a physical disability. They don't say what the disability is. I mean, why do we have that? Why is this happening? What a fucking weird scenario. And people are sitting around in groups,

explaining their reasons for their rationales, for this jackass test. I want to know where these combination came from. Like, was this like a, was every one of these words put in a hat and then we pull out like, okay, this accountant, you know, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we used to play it in school.

It was like, at, at, madlibs, right? Yeah, I still play those. And you like play it in. It's kind of like, I mean, madlibs for. This is kind of like, who mean, madlibs for. This is kind of like, Who could I tolerate on a trip? None of these people. No, it's kind of like,

I mean, who do I think is probably like, would be interesting to talk to? Yeah, a 21 year old female Muslim international student. Imagine the smell on this spaceship. Oh my God. A spanic clergyman who is against homosexuality. So are they trying to get you? It's like, well, I can't, I can't be racist.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's, that's, why would the Hispanic guy be an anti-homosexuality and not the accountant? Oh. Well, he's a clergyman, but they made him his spanics,

so you have to think twice. Yeah. Can we do this in 1990s edition? What's missing from the 90s? Like an accountant period. Yeah. Oh, 33 year old female. Yeah, female movie star who was recently the victim of sexual assault.

We got to get her off earth because earth's going to blow up and she just got raped by Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. Well, she was a former movie star. Now she's our next porn star. Oh, sorry, sexual assault. Like, whip it around, you know. A racist, a racist armed police officer.

He's armed on the spaceship. Right. He says, so the doctor, better not, he's looking for light fingers on the black medical student while he's fixing your asthma or whatever, bringing you back to life. A racist armed police officer, he's been accused of using excessive force.

I mean, don't you, doesn't everybody just leave that guy? Isn't that an easy, like, he should be pick one. Isn't that an easy choice just to leave? It's like it's an amazing thing. Anything good about this dude? We can keep all these other fucking people in line. You need that so you can concentrate on flying the ship. Well, no one else is arm though. I think right?

Yeah, I only he has a gun. There's some reason. It's attached a gay male professional athlete slash vegetarian. Anything these are not these are not very well done at all. Oh, you don't think they're well done? I don't. Oh, but, you know, I hate gay people, but I am a vegetarian. It's said no one ever. A-ha-ha-ha-ha. A-ha-ha-ha-ha. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Well, you definitely fuck him. A-ha-ha-ha-ha. God. Come on. You take him so he can stay up on the current technology and he can fix my iPad. A-ha-ha-ha-ha. Even in space, they know how to do technology. Well, he'll stay up on the current technology and you can fix my iPad.

Even in space, they know how to do technology. Well, stay up on it. Oh, okay, even though the earth is exploded. Sure. Just create new a 60 year old Jewish university administrator. They saved them for last. So you'd have to go change one of your other answers. Right? Gosh, I'm out of spots.

Well, I gotta put the, if I don't put this on, they're gonna hear about it, you know where. What a lame list. You don't think that's about a good spend of time for university people? That is what parents are paying. Yeah. For their children.

Very good. Very good. Okay. Alexander says, listening to you on PKA, thanks for talking some sense into those guys about the war in Ukraine. It's wild to hear the talking points that guy had like Zelensky cleaned up Ukraine. Yeah, he did say that. PKA. What do you think about Ukraine?

You pro or anti-Ukrain? I. And admittedly don't know much on that, but I would probably say anti. Anti-Ukrain? Anti-Ukrain. Are you pro-war? I think war is necessary at times. Oh yeah. At times. Like what time? Just know the times we do it. Exactly.

What time is war necessary? Economy slumping. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. One war ends definitely necessary. Obviously. I think war is necessary at times. Oh yeah. At times. Like what time? Just know the times we do it. Exactly. The time is worn as a very, um, economy slumping.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One war ends definitely necessary. Obviously. It was necessary when it happened, you know, but no, I, I, I, I should read up more on all of that. I don't want to waste of time.

Don't bother. Not very well-versed in that. Everything has a better penis. Putin or is Linsky? Oh, I have no idea. Not even a guess. I wouldn't even guess. Putin gotta be.

Putin, I would, yeah. If I had to, you know, 50, 50 it. Burns coding says, hey, Ukraine, hey dick, Ukraine is the least corrupt government in the world you're a dipshit. Okay, so two different opinions. I'm ending in. I think that might be sarcastic. Oh, okay. It's hard to tell. Well, it is hard to tell, but yeah.

That's the horrible thing about typing sometimes is, you know, sarcasm. I'm just naturally sarcastic, so sometimes something can be taken. Yeah, you got to know the person if they send you it. It's like, oh, they're obviously being a jackass at the moment. Okay, Tinky says, I keep getting ants for this on Instagram. Maybe I should join this fake boot camp for fat, tit, gen Xers. Let's see what he is. Oh, they do that shit where, yeah. Some dude is like, I'm going to turn you into a man, but you're like, you know, it's like, it's aimed at like, it's aimed at like 45 year olds. Men of, wow, look at this.

Men of crucible, men of war crucible. Uh, they do all look kind of doughy and fat. Oh, it's a right of passage engineered for business men. Get your physical. CEOs, leaders and men of action. It's, wow, two fat guys carrying each other. No shit, dude. Gravy Seals. Oh, very good. Gravy Seals.

He's hugging this other guy. They both have shaved heads. They're both fat. He stepped over like a, like a tire. Try, you know, they're walking through tires instead of like running like football players and he blew out both of his knees. That's why he's carrying that guy. Look at this. It looks like that bang bus. That looks like a female. Right where your pointer is right now. Does this one? Yeah. This one. Maybe it is. No, it's not a female. This is a man of war, crucible, only man. Apply here. Every man must watch this powerful video. It's a car-partic assistant. He's not qualified to scam anybody, he's just learning.

He hasn't gotten his bullshit wrapped down good enough. I'm just learning how to scam people. Okay, let's man-war. Man-war. Man-war, okay. All right, that looks pretty cool. Oh, it's a man of war now. But the of is all in the bottom.

I know. We can't see it. No, okay. It's so shot of like a lake. And then a bunch of men are doing army crawls for no reason. One of the most difficult things that anybody can challenge themselves to take on in their lives. At a certain point, you reach a certain stage

in your life. It's like the audio mixing guys met a war and out with your maid off. That's what happened to me here. And I guarantee you will happen to you. I've failed everybody. I've failed myself more than anything by not following you and my commitment.

Fuck off, man. You have to be vulnerable in life. You have to depend on others. I'm happy I'm hurting. I'm happy with this pain. I'm going to be like a woman. You have to depend on others. I'm happy I'm hurting. I'm happy with this pain. I'm gonna like this. Just exercise, you fucking pussy. Exercise regularly.

You're with the society, Matt. What I thought I knew, I knew nothing got to be blessed, nothing. I couldn't understand the magnitude of what this society brings to me. Wait, what are they doing here? It's mud wrestling, obviously. Oh, they're mud wrestling.

Yeah. I couldn't understand the magnitude. Oh, they're mud wrestling? Yeah, nothing. I couldn't understand the magnitude. Man, man, suicide is not high enough. Funny, I'm going away to learn how to become a man. I'm not going to die. Just do this. These guys, I didn't know them three months ago. Now we're brothers.

I love them and care for them already. And I've been done. It's just day three. I care about them more than people people I've known my whole life. That's what I'm gonna do. You got fucking groomed, bro. That's what's happening to you. You're getting groomed by a call.

Does anybody else see this? They're advertising this on Instagram, man. Do people see that this is not, like, this is not okay. Like, this is grooming. This is, no, this is a massive issue. Man, love this. This is what? Right. That's, and men know that a certain type of man loves this shit. Yeah. I get really close with a bunch of dudes. Yeah. I wish war wasn't so expensive. And we could just send these guys like to go play a soldier each other. Yeah, but it just get costs so fucking money.

Right. He's like, he coming back. I know. Well, it's got to be a better way. It is a big part of our way. The reason why we're here. So we're getting married. It really does change who you are as a person mentally and physically and you come out.

You come out a better person at the end of it. This experience changed my life before I came here. I have a couple years ago. It was acceptable to fail. I was a couple years ago. I was acceptable to fail. I was a couple years ago. I was acceptable to fail.

I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail.

I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to fail. I was acceptable to things you've ever done in Thailand. Okay, what was that? There's a guy carrying a guy across a river. You watch his eyes when he goes down. To the next level. One of the girls. Get this off my back. He's like that guy that popped his eyes out in the commercials.

And then there's that black guy. Remember that? What was a black woman who does it too? Can't have any really disturbing it is I've ever done my entire life Boot camp beach all the mud runs I've ever done and if you haven't done this Man up fucking cold. We can get through this we can go through anything Yeah, this has just been an amazing experience really Push myself and all aspects and it really, really was worth it. Did you guys are just blowing out your knees

and your hamstrings, like you're all fat? Yeah. None of you are in shape at all. No. And they're all saying towards them, it's my why. Why for what? What did you do after this? So now I want a part two.

Like I want to see six months later. Six months later, you want to see. I'm back on my couch drinking beer. later, you want to see the next scam that they're involved in. The next phase. When insurance company won't pay for my fucking knee replacements. Because I did it. It is not about physical.

It is not about mental. It is about what's inside your soul. I was searching, looking for something that this world was not offering me. I am a man of that. Just fuck. I'm not gonna get it over with. I knew it was for me.

Just, this program is just making me dig deep and find different levels of myself that I didn't know I was able to on a lot. I wanted to become part of this man of war society because I felt lost in life as a pathetic or a threat to the nation. This is the first male pyramid scheme. You know how all the pyramid schemes like Mary K and all of a Tupperware. That is not yes. This is the first, like men don't usually buy into that shit.

This is the new now. They do now. They have hustlers, universities, they're all pyramid schemes. Yes. They have courses on how to train you to build your own training program to train men on how to train men

to build their own. Exactly. So to get the right subject matter. Yep, 100%. This is life. This is truly one of a kind experience. It's probably one of the most discrete and man a kind experience. I've probably won the most discrete of man and days I've had in my life.

I can tell you right now, I'm definitely exhausted. Like, you guys can just go out and build a deck. You don't, like, if you want to work, you can just go like pull weeds or something. I flipped houses and those days are pretty exhausting. Like, I was pretty tired after those. Did you do the construction in the house too? Yeah.

Really? You? Me, I did. How did you do that? You so tiny. I have help, but like I do it. I love it. Did you put on a baseball hat? Why don't you do it? I always were a big, I had a baseball hat on the car.

I always have a baseball hat on. How did that, were you a realtor too? I am. You can do it. Yeah. And then that stopped being. No. Is it still good? Yeah.

Being a realtor? Yeah. That's good. It's frustrating. Every single part of my body hurts right now. It's broken me down to building back up. Build basic elements of myself so that I can be rebuilt into a group of people.

There you go. Yeah. That's unsour. About whether or not they should go for it with this program. I highly recommend it. It changed my perception of myself, changed the perception of being a leader with a man cancer as they hear.

That was a big shout out. You know, you reach the point where you're complacent. You got to dig deep and you know, this is be a great program because it's going to get you out of that. It's pushed me in every aspect. Right, all right, all right. Complacin', you're fucking old. You're not supposed to be doing this shit when you're 50.

No. Just get a new job. Get a girlfriend and a Corvette. Like we used to do back in the day. Yeah, like some self-respecting midlife crisis. Yeah. God, middle age crisis is good. The age crisis is good.

Mud-wrestling shit, right, exactly. Drowning one another. As your husband's midlife crisis going, oh, he's going like a tough mother. He's at the man of war, man camp, we're there. Where they push boxes and they do the carey each other. He gets back and we're gonna be homeless, but he's finding himself.

So it's obviously like it's like pseudo military, right? So they give him like MREs, you know, like the ration, field rations, all that kind of stuff. And like with like, and like a pack of Niagara. Do you think they can have hard on while they're eating? Yeah, well, I mean, when they get near in the mud, you know, yeah, yeah.

Ready to go. They make me with their hands, like feel their food and feed each other. What a disaster. Thanks. Thanks, Tinky. Lorenzo says, Zurka is right. The earth used to be round, but women got so fat that they squished it. And now the earth is actually flat. Do you believe in the flat earth?

No, because it's retarded, right? It is. It is. Next question. I don't even think they believe it. Like I think it's part of like, I think I don't know. Yeah.

Part of being a man now is like Jesus and God and earth is flat. They're all trying to figure out new ways to like shock you. Those didn't always used to go together. Jesus and- A lot of people who believe in Jesus or Christianity or believe in God, whatever, and they work flat earthers. No.

I have a feeling like. That's the extreme that we've gone to in this country. I know. I have a feeling like, but we're hearing from you. We're hearing flat earthers. We're hearing from all of them now

because there's a platform. There is, yes. Because they haven't gone to this and they find each other. So it's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to join men of war. Yeah, yeah, boys. That's right. I think even in like the, the quote, flat earth days, like if you went to like a random guy in the street,

you're like, is the earth's flat around? You'd be like, I don't know. And like it's the street and you're like, uh, is the earth flat around? He'd be like, I don't know. Like it's actually round. You're like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I think it was more like a government versus scientist thing. Like church versus science is like, yeah, sure. Like you can't help. You can't do science. It's not approved by us. Yeah. I mean, they imprisoned like that. Like, like Galileo up, right?

I mean, yeah. It's just like they're locking up Trump for all his signs that he's doing. Haha. God, him going, I hope he goes to prison. He's not going to prison. I know, but it would be so fun. He's not, he's not, he'll be, for the rest of his life

and beyond he would be able to just even stay out of core. I mean, you know, he just, you keep throwing money at the price, not going anywhere. Yeah, but wouldn't be great. He would be more powerful than you could ever be like Obi-Wan getting killed. My drive favorite, Darth Vader. He would come out with like a prison tat, I think.

Oh my God. All these men following him. Oh yeah, that's how he would win the black vote. That's it. That's it. He would come out. So maybe that's his campaign. So I did see that black people are getting reparations maybe?

No. Maybe. They're up for that. Because they've been getting them for so long. Like, FDR, black, you know. Okay, that's when the black vote went crazy Democrat and stayed that way. It started to, yeah. And then they just have to refinance it every couple of decades.

Like, all right, well, no, you guys got LBJ, some rights act and stuff. I don't know. Thanks for getting so much money. Why not give it to black people? Well, I mean, fuck. Cranes getting so much money. Give it to black people. Give it at least I can see them.

Yeah, well, you know, see results. Yeah, I can sell them stuff. I can still shit in Ukraine. All right. This one says more stuff about Ukraine. Eric Artifact says, uh, John Zerke has teeth like evil inspector gadget. Out. I don't know about that.

Evil inspector gadget. Let me look it up. Let's see. He does have, I don't know if he has like, uh, if he has a, like, hmm, that's a, yeah, quite an observation. Yeah. Um, okay. I didn't know there was an observation. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know there was an evil inspector gadget.

Here is a video comment somebody sent in. Okay. This is from on. What did that say? On on Claret Canita. All right. Let's see what she has to say. on Clare Canita, all right. Let's see what she has to say. My nightmare, she says, is getting on Dick Masterson's radar

and him doing a full, him doing a full doing breakdown. Let's see if that makes more sense in the video. Do you ever listen to who wear these pack-ass? I've learned a lot from listening to this show. It introduced me to Dick Mastersson dick and the dick show when I'm in the mood to just like maybe Binge and it'll remind me that that's just not a healthy way to live Nobody wants to see me looking like

Dude look at that Look at this link is this after the Photoshop Sean we're making a difference. Wow, okay, look at that. They're making a difference. We're just two guys, but we're making a difference here with our activities online.

We're doing something, we're getting the message out. Well, they're in fear, that's the important thing. That is the only message that needs to get out there. Fear. So what she's saying is that because of your show, she's living a healthier, like, outlook. Yes, yeah, because she doesn't want to get made fun of on the show.

Gotcha. Oh, I thought she was talking about the way that we live is not a healthy way to. No, no, no, she was talking about fat watch. She was talking about fat watch. Oh, I'm talking about fat watch. You're right. She doesn't want to get on our radar.

All right, do you want to do advice or news or, fat watch, what do you think? Fat watch. You want to do fat watch? Yes. Usually people shy away from that one. I want to do fat watch. Let's do it.

Doing fat watch. All right, let's see what we've got this week. It's like usually people. Here is, this was sent to me. This is Vogue's, Vogue's, Vogue's evolution over the years. This is the 90s. Did you remember the 90s? I do indeed.

Those are all the icons and the most beautiful women that we all looked up to. Yes. Yes. We might even remember this cover. Yes. This is what Vogue has become now. The same weight, the same by-pound, the same amount of model. There's only three versus minor. We're not in a fabric. Ten, same amount of fabric. They're required. You're good at this. You see they've shot in a very dark setting. So that you can't see anything of the ripples or what is that?

Well, they've got three different like builds, right? Is it? Do they? Well, XX. XX. So I don't know. I've got a screen glider. Are you have screen glider here?

Yeah. Nice. How would you describe this class, caliber of weights? I would say a light heavy cruiser weight and heavy weight. From the lowest to highest. I just don't get it. Okay. We're promote, I haven't, if you're naturally big bone, correct? Yeah.

Like an elephant? Like an elephant, correct? Yes. Big bones, I mean, like, it's not healthy. Like, oh yeah. It's a day like you, whatever. But like we're embracing, I was at exotic recently. What's that? It's like a sexual convention.

Okay. We have them in Chicago, Jersey, Miami, and DC. Okay. And so it's where like, they have like seminars and then a bunch of like porn stars are there, like signing autographs and all of that. So we celebrate obviously, BBWs are big, beautiful women. You have to celebrate them at the porn industry. Part of the industry.

That's part of the industry, yes. That's what porn people usually do not like when I make fun of fat women. Like I usually get like a, I don't know, I think they're afraid of them. I think they're afraid to say of anything about anything anti-bodies positivity at all. Well, you can, I have to,

last night at the strip club again, I'll go back to this. There were some girls that back when we were younger would have been considered heavy, right? Right. Okay. And now they're... Heavy for a truck. Ah!

Ah! So, like, I'm looking at this and they're just like, it's more weight on your joints and it's more weight on your heart and it's more weight on the men and it's just like, it's just a lot. Get to be lawsuits. Yeah. You broke my pelvis. But it's not, it's just not like, it's just not a healthy.

Yeah. Like, we're not supposed to be this weight. Yeah. And like, we're not supposed to say that.. Yeah. And we're like, we're not supposed to say that. Like that's wrong for us to go, yeah, he's too heavy. He's not good. It's not good. You're, but you're not supposed to say that. Right. That's what's, yeah. I mean, the thousand pound sisters have a show and we're celebrating that she finally went to rehab after getting a treat. Like, God. She's screaming. Okay.

This one, this would be great for fat watch. Pean Weeners Dean says, all right, let's take a look at it. What do we have here? What is this young lady? What is this fetching young woman getting up to? I see what looks like a fast food bag. I don't know. I'm making fun.

Sonic perhaps? I've trouble making fun of certain. I don't know if I want to make fun of a kid But I'll try 16 year old. That's not a kid. I'll try that's legal in most states. Oh, God She's legally at sex with this woman in most states. Just not California. We just got worse I got the bag today is gonna be a little different. I'm gonna do what I eat in a day starting at 4 p.m She doesn't know but she's doing fetish shit. Uh-huh.

Right? She is? She doesn't know it. Guys love to watch me eat. They do? Oh god. That's my least favorite thing on earth. Watching people eat.

Yeah, she's a porn dog with mustard. Who's driving? Pay attention to the road? Yeah, like the food is driving oh there. Oh another that oh Sprouts, which she's never seen a sprout gonna pack cuz she's gonna eat so much. She's gotta get him by the bag Oh You have any more of those guinea pig treats a 50 pound bag of duck and wild potato or There are a lot of these bulb of these bully sticks. I really like the braided ones. Oh my god Wow, this is a long video for what you eat every day after four p.m

strawberries, mingo, boba and Benses yeah, yeah. And her mom like endorses this basically. Of course. Because her mom... She... Yeah. Oh, my God.

Okay, I got tortillas tacos. Oh no, sorry. No way! No way is eating this at every day after four. Banda express... What? First, it comes with her again. See, this is going to be the worst time I've ever had. I think she knows what she's doing. You think this is the fattest thing?

I do, too. I think she's doing it on purpose on her business. Yeah. I don't think that's real either. Like, fat people don't eat that every day. So here's about the wheel. It's interesting what people do and do not know about fat people. Like, they just get, they just have like a really bad day, like two or three times a So here's about the whale. It's interesting what people do and do not know about fat people.

Like they just get, they just have like a really bad day like two or three times a week, right? Right? Well, I mean, they have to eat that much to maintain that size because you just don't burn the calories. Yeah. Right? Yeah, but I mean, you burn a certain amount of calories a day just being alive.

Yeah. And then just keep in the motor idling and caring that much weight, I would assume you're burning more calories, just caring. I mean, that would be like us throwing, you know, like, but they don't go anywhere. Back. If you put a weight invest on, yeah, but you'd burn more calories than you would just else walking around. Uh, this is one we got interrupted with Zerke. This was TikTok star, Remy Bader said she was mocked for her weight being turned away from a horse ranch. Did we ever finish that interview?

Well, no, not really. Not really. I don't know. We could find another one. That's old news. So here's what I don't have an issue saying anything because they, people don't ever have an issue coming up to me saying you're too thin, you're too skinny,

you're the only cheeseburger. You need to eat something. Body positivity has gone only one direction, only one direction, and that's accepting people who are overweight or on the thicker side. Nobody has brought in like a girl, we're naturally thin, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Like we're naturally on the, on the thin side. I have to work very hard to maintain even a certain amount of weight. So people have no problem at all coming up to me. I was bikini shopping a couple years ago and someone was like, you need to eat a cheese burger. And I was like, I just had half my stomach removed because I didn't ulcer-perforated, so you have no idea what you're talking about.

Yeah, yeah. So we're supposed to- Just as ignorant, is anything else out there? 100% exactly. So if we're going to body positivity, then it needs to be across the board and not just embracing the people that are overweight.

That's what I think. If we're doing like grooming, like LGBT stuff at schools, we should be playing cigarette ads too. Like you get one for one, right? Here's like a- Like a place for a vice. Here's the bison thing and then the next thing, it's like the Marble Man, right?

Guess what? His smoking actually makes you focus better. Come to my bootcamp and it looks cool. Come to my bootcamp. I make you a man. A transgender. Oh, this is a juicy one. Some of us are known packers.

A transgender woman says she's devastated after being banned from a female only gym. Those big. It's after breaking many Olympic powerlifting records. Honor was worried about how girls would feel working out near a big quote, a big person with a male voice. Okay. Bridget Klein, Simpson joined bodyworks fitness in Park's field. After joining, she was told she could only enter

Koehed Jim because she's trans. She said she doesn't feel comfortable training with men at the gyms she's been to. Well, me either. That's fair. I guess the transgender woman was devastated when she found out she'd been banned. I could have guessed Canada. Yeah. She looks like Stephen King. The author. Yeah. Like a fat steveward you got to pull up a picture with no coke. All right. Let me see. Oh, wow, he's got fucking, looks like a skeleton. No, no body shaming. I've been your body shaming.

Oh, an image and tab. There we go. Oh, wow. What do you think, ladies and gentlemen? I mean, God, I can't tell the difference. Yeah. Just a kick in 50 pounds. Uncanny resemblance. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what else you got. The warm welcome, however, at the first, she said she was welcomed with open arms. She

was met with a trainer on Friday who welcomed him, heard even hugged her. Oh, wow. He went way out of his way to show how accepting he was and told her she would be safe at their gym. Oh, that's. Those words of... So that happened with you a lot at the gym where somebody hugs you and says you'll be safe here. Safe, right?

Yeah. At the gym. Safe here. The warm welcome, however, was revoked only days later when she got a call telling her that they made a mistake. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha comfortable. She said she was extremely devastated by the decision and there's really no other word for it. Yeah, well, I guess the women's only gym kind of thought there'd only be women there. Weird thing that happened. She'd never, yeah, okay, well, it's not really fat. though buddy you kind of messed a bit on that one. Eh Jason it's close enough.

It's a glance it's a fat glance. It's a fat glance. Okay about this one. Okay about this one. All right. Here is a follow up. Oh yeah let's do this one for you? All right. Here is a follow up. Oh yeah, let's do this one first. And then we'll do a follow up.

Okay. And then I'll do some advice and then get out of here. So I'll have a set sound. This girl's mad that no one's hitting on her in the club. Okay. Wonder what the reason is for that. I'm in the fucking drive through the jack in a box. Am I wearing a home?

Okay, and that's the answer. Oh, fuck, you make feelings. Like what the fuck? The size of her is like, that's really incredible. She did ease the horizontal frame. Yeah. It's a much better view. I think this might be a dish.

It's like, shrek fucked a Kardashian. Yeah, she does a lot of them. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Oh. She's angry. At least she's breaking this fat and jolly stereotype. That's pretty good.

Oh, what? Oh, look at this. Will we rate this out? What? I just... I would get banned for Instagram if I wore something like that. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Ooh, what? Oh, look at this. Will we rate this out? What? I would get banned for Instagram if I wore something like that.

Dear comment. Ha ha ha ha. Are you pregnant with 56 children? Love the fake support in the comments. Oh my God. Is this a real human? Or is this an AI? Ugh.

So she said she put this on and was like it needs a belt. Yeah, like the equator. This is wonderful. Oh, this is a very beautiful glamour shot. She's got here. Yeah. Okay. Fuck Mary kill that. She's about to eat this woman, skinnier woman. Tell me they have it only fans. Oh God, no, there's no fans of this. What is that? Oh, that's someone died.

Oh. Not her? No, not her unfortunately. A lady in the streets, wow, spicy. Oh, yeah. Okay. Wow. That's those some of those outfits are really, I mean, to fire imagination. Yeah. Yeah. Friends taking. All right. There you go. Today and back news. This was the follow-up one. Remember that woman that had a, that was on the plane secretly recording a guy? Yeah, yeah, who is what she actually looked like.

Yeah. Spilling over into the seat next to her. Okay. So, just a little follow-up. He was, yeah, gotcha. Okay. I don't know, advice? What do you think?

Advice? Yeah, well, it's always good to do advice when we have a guest. Yes, it is. You can perhaps shed some, let's always good to do advice when we have a guest. Yes, it is. You can perhaps shed some knowledge on these people. Hey, Dick, no need to say my name. I'm looking for some advice. I can't stop thinking about my fuck up.

Hi, Dick. Bello here. Around a year and two months ago, I met this girl, Becups, through a shitty, rom-com tier coincidence, and we became friends and felt like she's one of the very few who kind of gets me. I was over the moon because she was actually talking to me, found me kind of interesting and understand all the bullshit I say and liked my odd humor.

I definitely have Asperger's, but I'm tall and look decent, yet most girls act pretty cold around me. I don't know why. Well, because of the vibes he look decent. Yet most girls act pretty cold around me. I don't know why. Well, because of the vibes he's giving off, probably, because of the assburgers, man. Fast forward to one month. I didn't make any move on her and tried not to act too interested in her, best of my ability.

Most of our interaction were fun and sometimes awkward. Suddenly, her response online started to get drier and drier. Oh no, until we didn't talk for like a month. He put her in the friend zone. He did. Like it was like, when you read it and I was like, oh, he in fear of getting rejected. Oh, rejected. She felt it and she's not going to, she's not going to, she's not going to push on. After that, I couldn't contain my autism. Uh-oh.

And asked why is that? And tell me if there's anything wrong with me, and I won't bother her again. And she said it's nothing. Is that a cover from this? No. Not at all? Nope, there's no recovery.

Sorry. What do you think, Sean? Well, it doesn't sound like, I mean, that he'd have to completely cap fish. I don't know how he would do it. It's, yeah, I mean, he's got to, and sit there, that's sometimes the hardest thing to do is stop kicking your own ass for something you did fucking years ago. You can't do a goddamn thing about it. And 99.9% of me believes that, but there's the point.

I still think I could go back and do. And you're going to text somehow. And he's going to text her and maybe one more text. Maybe one more text. Maybe if I do more, maybe if I explain the situation more in that I can accommodate. Well, you're ahead. Or behind just the job. The job, the job, the job, the job, the job. The job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the job, the ahead. The best. Or behind just the job. The best.

The best. Just the job. The best. Or behind just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job.

The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job.

The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. Just the job. The best. They mean to them. Later online, I apologized on the recommendation of one of my female friends. Never, never. Never follow the advice of your female friends. Never. Never. Never. They don't know what they're talking about. And generally, if a female is giving him advice, that's because she wants to be him. And he's focused on another girl.

So she's trying to sabotage you. And everything possible to sabotage. Yeah. Never. Since she said I was acting weird. And she said I was like, and since that day we haven't talked and pretend we don't know each other. And I can't stop thinking about it over and over.

I was actively trying not to appear odd, creepy, weird, because I'm well aware of my autism, yet it's still fucked. Stop using your autism like it's a fucking personality. Right. And like as much as I know autistic people, it's like really interesting for you guys to say your autistic and to talk about how aware you are

of it, but nobody wants to hear it. Nobody. Nobody has ever wanted to hear it. We all know what it is. We all know that you're aware of it. We know that it's all fucked up, but nobody, it's just one and done, okay? Once it's out there, fine.

But then it's on you. You have got to, you've got to figure out a way around it, not account for, not depend on somebody else to do it. Cause it's fucking taxing. It's fucking taxing. It's fucking taxing constantly, constantly hearing about it is taxing. And that's the last time he ever asked anyone for advice, the rest of his life.

But he also by trying to, it sounds like circumvent his autism, he made it the biggest platform. Yeah, it's always thinking about it. It's always thinking about it. And that's all I want. I tried not to let my autism, it's like, well, you're thinking of it, but that's all I tried not to let my aunties like, well, you're thinking of, but don't think of a circle. You're literally, yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So why does it all other guys fuck up in the same way then? Are they all autistic? I just don't think that's the fucking problem, right? It's not. It's not. He's using that as a crutch. Uh, it's so painful.

And now no other girl even seems interesting or good enough to even think about. Oh boy. Oh boy. Well, that's, now he's canonized her. Well, I agree with you on this because they're not. And you've just built up this idea that this one was. Exactly. But I promise you, you would have gotten bored of her as soon as you fucked her and you'd be right back in this, I wish to get out of this hellhole, in this hellhole that you're

in right now. Right. I feel like I fucked of this hellhole, in this hellhole that you're in right now. I feel like I fucked up my only chance. Get this into your head. There is no chance. There is zero chance of you are talking to a better AI than you can find on the internet and pretend to talk to. But at no point, are you meeting another person who can fill in the holes in you? At no point, is there holes in you at no point? All right. Is there a joke at no point is there a punchline to this joke?

It is random acts of engagement. It including crawling through mud with men you've just men and pretending to love them or making fun of that or not pretending. We're not pretending or loving it is all just random dial dalliances in whatever happens to catch your interest for that time period and then it's over. That's it. There's no chances. You're not getting out of this.

He had me and she accepted me for me or understood me. No. I'm a girl. I don't want to hear that. You understand me. It's you, my, as well, just have a vagina. I don't want to hear that. You understand me. It's you might as well just have a vagina. I don't want to hear you get me. You don't want to hear that? No. Have you ever got a guy? I get you. I get you. I get you. I get you that you've had 12 affairs. That's what I fucking get. So fuck off. That's what I get. So you

do get it. I do get it. Yes. I get you, but my trick is not letting you know that I get you. Yeah. Thanks for listening to whatever I wrote. Go fuck yourself and smooch yourself. What do you think this guy should do? I think you should move the fuck on. Move on. Like, she's history. She's history. She's not the only one out there fucking. So your loss isn't move on. If you have to say, if you have to talk about your autism, say it one time.

One time. That's it. Never say it again. That's it. Uh, and if you're texting, never send two texts in a row. Never. You have autism, you should be able to abide by this. That's pretty good advice.

Never. And then half the time, leave it on red. There's gonna be another person out there and he'll do the same dumb mistakes that he did here. I guess, I guess, Tilly doesn't. Yeah. I have quite a lot of advice. Learn. Some people do the same shit forever. And then you just run out of people I guess, I guess, Tilly doesn't. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm like, whatever. I just learn.

Some people do the same shit forever. And then you just run out of people with other options. And you find the girlfriend that's giving advice. And you're like, she's not so bad. She's here. She's here. She's a little bit more. She's a little bit more.

Okay, this is from Queer Mell. Hey, Dick, don't read my name. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean, first time rider, semi long time listener. I'll try to keep it short. I'm a 22 year old, closeted fem boy. Okay. And I really want to sleep with one of my best friends. Wow.

He's straight, but I've seen the girls he's banged and I'm definitely more attractive than them. Send them the boot camp link. Hahaha. When dressed accordingly, these women are fat. Yeah, he should engineer some kind of a meat cute where he's like stuck in the forest with the sky. Get him drunk. And then I'm describing day right now. He pulls some baddies for sure, but I'm not, I'm really not bad looking and can dress up pretty hot and feminine

when I choose to. I just want him to have his way with me. I'm a bottom after all. So selfish. So I just want someone to do all this work and I lay there and invalidated and they don't get anything out of it. What are you saying, Gigi? Where do we start? Well, he's trying to fuck his best friend. His best friend who's straight. Yeah. The problem is you have the wrong body parts. I don't care how attractive you are for a man. If you're not gonna swing that way,

it's not gonna swing that way. Or a contrary wise, all men are gay. Not true. And there's a chance that he can get him in a moment of weakness. So you're saying there's a chance. I can get him in a moment of weakness. So you're saying there's a chance. I'm worried it would ruin our friendship if I told him I wanted his cock. It will.

Yeah. Yeah. The only way it wouldn't is being a bootcamp. That would be the only way this friendship could be saved. That's right. That's right. What is your friendship that weekly? You can't tell your friend that you wanted to fuck you.

Deepest fantasies. Most friendships are that week, yes. Yes, it's satisfying. Is satisfying a long time sexual fantasy worth it? Well, he's not going to fuck you. He's not going to go, what are you going to mean? Is it worth telling him? Is that the fantasy?

I know. This friend will be like, yeah, I know. No shit. Yeah, I have kind of you know, because they're usually so like subtle over. I'm going to bend over and get these chips for you. I dropped my keys. It's said, I know I won't be young forever and time is passing by every day.

Every day. It's 22. I know. I won't be young forever and time is passing by every day every day 22 I know I won't be young forever Dinosaurs Yes, yes we are But I just can't seem to actually tell him why would you tell him Why How do you think that's gonna go?

I mean it's gonna yeah, it's can you do me a favor if you do tell him can you please record it? I did send it to us because I need visual. I need a visual. You should have sent a picture of him. I'm so afraid of what I might lose and what he might think about me. Well, why are you, like you, you're just keeping him around to like

beat up my fuck. Literally. Where do you want to be friends with a person you want to fuck? And why would you be friends with somebody who's going to drop you if you're honest? Like, yeah, how long they've been friends for? Good question. Well, less than 22 years.

Okay. I'm going to give it four. That would be my guess. First of all, you got to come out as a femboy. You can't be closeted anymore and then see what he thinks about that. I can't believe his friend wouldn't like know. There's gotta be some kind. I mean, let's do all my friends on a phone. It's usually not a real subtle thing.

I mean, yeah. How do you navigate this in your line of work? I don't navigate this in my line of work, but I can give my personal advice. My personal advice is find somebody that you know is like, who looks like this guy? It looks like the guy that's that's into what you're into because this is just going to lead to a friendship explosion. This is going to be funny though. At least you would. That's why I'm saying when you tell him, please record it because it will be hysterical. It will be hysterical. But it's like if he's really looking for a

relationship, like, or just a fuck, like he needs to find somebody else because. And it's amazing how he'll want to fuck his friend less. Like, I don't even know why I was so wrapped up in that. Yeah. I found somebody else, like, who actually like wants me. Like, obviously, you just go, oh yeah, it's, you know. So is it the chase that he's interested in? Sean, you've touched on something. I think he's put all his, he's put a bunch of his, like,

you know, his feelings or whatever, like in this gut, like this is the be all end all of, like my, yeah, you know, I need this guy to fuck me. Right, my ass. It's such a 22 year old mindset. Yeah, well, yeah, sure. It is such a like. And you can't, I mean, he, he,

when he doesn't know any different, he doesn't, he doesn't, yeah, of course, you're only 22. So you understandable, you don't know the references I'm making right now, but there's a movie called Sneakers. We never saw that. You never saw it or they had to get a guy to say a sentence that was really weird, because that was his password.

So they tricked him into saying all these other things. So you have to trick him into saying like that he's fucking you and record it and then splice it together and then have get a guy to fuck you and then play that audio. So it's like your friend, because you don't know, you're facing,

you know, the other way. So you think in your brain that you're getting fucked by your friend to get it out of your system, right? Yeah, like you go, what would you say you ask him, buddy, what would you say if you were like really fucking a girl in her ass? Yeah. What do you sound like? I just want to get it like, because I want to be manly like you.

Right. So give me, like, the corded. Yeah. And he's like, oh, give me, like, the practice. Yeah. And he's like, oh, I'm fucking you up the ass. Yeah, take it, take it, you bitch. And then you get a guy behind you to play it. To get out of your system. There you go.

There you go. He can't even go on Amazon and buy one of those like fuck machines and doesn't even need a person. He can just watch the video. But then he's going to have to play the video himself. Yeah, it kind of, he can't spend his, it's a spend his disbelief that much. Yeah, yeah.

It's a stretch. I'm so afraid of what I might lose and what he might think about me, but I think about him all the time. Yeah. Oh, well. He doesn't think of you. I wouldn't guess like that.

Should I just do it and see what happens or not at all? Yes, you should do it. Obviously. Because you should always... If you don't, you'll always wonder what if. Exactly. If you do, you'll always wonder why did I? Why did I's better?

Yeah. Why did I's better? Yeah. That's true. I have a lot of both at this point. Yeah. The why did I's are way easier to take than the why did I's. Yeah this point. Yeah. The Y did eyes are way easier to take than the Y did eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although a few Y did eyes stick with me. I wanted I married it for 17 years. Wow. There's a reason they. Yeah. A little bit. Uh, so I should I just do it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I do? For reference, I'm six to 157 pounds. Wow, that's a huge bitch. Uh, six to 157? Yeah. Oh, he's 22, right? He's a rail.

Yeah, he's a tall. Yeah. Uh, I attached an image. He's feminine. Oh, he attached an image. No, I had attached an image. Oh, sorry for writing the gayest email probably ever sent you. This is not even close.

No, no, it's not. All right, everybody, thanks for showing. GG, you want to plug anything? Yeah. My only fan is dropping on April 1st. So it's the real GGD or, so make sure you check that out. My Twitter is GG as seen on TV. And Instagram is GG GG or SFW.

And I also just recently collabed with Camille. So if you want a Camille of me yours truly, you can now purchase that through Camille. What kind of, what kind of stuff do you do? Camille. Camille, I'll do whatever. Really? Is it just a talking thing?

Are you doing anything like physically too? I can do physically, I can do like whatever. Like they say I just can't do nudity. Oh, you can't do nudity. No, I have to be scantily clad, but I could do some skimpy stuff. So as long as the nibblets are covered. Okay.

We're good. What kind of co-abs do you do? I do ho-jeeze. I do a little bit of everything. I do girl, girl. I do boy, girl. I do solo. I do girl, girl, I do boy, girl. I do solo, I do girl, girl, boy. What's your favorite kind of color?

I like girl, girl, boy. You do. Me too, I'm a fan of that. That's my favorite. Because I love both. Like I think kissing a girl, there's nothing sexier than kissing a girl. Girls lips are, I get you guys.

Like kissing a girl's lips and like, yes, that's where it's at. And I love like double teaming a guy. I think that's sexies. Yeah. So that's my favorite. But yeah, so check out OnlyFans and I can do a customs for you, whatever you guys want. And clearly, nothing is off limits

because I used a dildo and pretended to cut it up and eat it. So. I'm not sure if they should have based on that. He paid quite a pretty penny. Oh. They do have fun with it. Every only fans, like porn star, I talk to,

doing all the weird shit that guys ask them to do, they seem to have a good time. They're like arts and crafts. No, that's it. I got to use cornstarch and baking soda to mate and then some red food coloring and I made blood. It was just a good time. Thank you for having me.

How did you get into this? So I was a mainstream model for 20 years in New York City. Wow. So I did runway, I did music videos, TV shows, infomercials, all that stuff. And then I did the mom and kid thing, wife thing. And after my divorce, COVID hit and like everything dried up. So I was looking for extra ways to make money

being at home. So I found an article on a cam model and she was making like really good money and wasn't like she could do it like, well, the kids were asleep or whatever. So I started camming and then it kind of evolved into only fans and then from only fans, I was like, well, what the hell,

I'm already sleeping with other people for, for cool abs and stuff. So then I was approached and I've been shooting mainstream porn now for almost exactly a year. Wow. Yeah. What was your most recent, let's look it up. What was your most recent?

My most recent that just dropped was cheating wives. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay. Cheating wives are my best. Cheating wives are my best. Cheating wives are my best. Cheating wives are my best. Why do you like this so much?

Why is cucking become the biggest topic of our life? My biggest two are cheating lives, and I'm either a perv, a nana, or a perv, stepmom. Like I get stepmom work, like it's... Stepmom, that's another big one. Stepmom, yeah. And I was a grandma twice. Oh, grandma.

I know, that was a tough one. So all I was like, oh, that's young. 41, all right, so we're gonna go this. What was it called? Cheating wives. Cheating wives. Cheating wives.com, I think it is. Oh, okay, let's see. Cheating wives.

Oh, I've got a wife. Do, do, do, do. No, can't find it. You must be over 18. Yeah, I am. There it is. Oh, you can tour it. Tour it, okay.

And then there's, that's Sophie. Okay. And then there's that's Sophie. Sophie, the second one in the middle. They're in here. Yeah. Oh my God. That's a hot life. That is cheating. It's no grandma.

Woo. When I was here for Christie's that I shot that. I shot that that week. That guy's that was what I was going to be. Is he going down on you like that? Is that the girls like it like that? Like moving all around? Oh, it was good for cinematic.

Yeah. It was good for, for visual, I guess, but yeah. So I have, I'm here until Thursday or Friday, next week. And then I'm going to Miami for a month and I'm booked almost solid for, so I have a lot coming out. Wow, Jesus. I'm excited, yeah.

Make hay before that AI comes in. Life's everything. Right, yeah. And then my only fans dropping again. I took a little break from it, so I'm relaunching it with all new materials, so I'm really psyched about that. Okay. Yeah.

Thank you for coming in. Thank you for having me. Ited about that. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for coming in. Thank you for having me. It fucking horrifying. All right, thank you everybody. Sorry for all the fucking audio problems today. Goodbye. See ya. Thank you.