The Dick Show - Episode 357 - Dick on Slippin' Mickeys

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Slipping Ralph a Mickey, Chris DMZ calls in, Crowder's divorce, Dennis Miller, anti-flat Earthers, finally becoming transabled, women calculating speed and time and space, leaving a man with brain cancer, woke anime conventions, a guy hates science, Ewoks, and ear cameras; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What do you think about my new shades? How many Ralpha males out of 10 would you give these shades? There's got to be a 10. You better damn right, you're ass. There's got to be a 10. Absolutely. So pretty cool. What are they, Ray Bands?

Yeah. These are like gay bands. According to everyone who hates Ralph, yes, they are gay bands. Oh, really? Well, you know how every of these Ralph glasses is that? These are Ralph's glasses. Yes, he left it. He left them in the studio.

I've only just found them. Ah, I guess this was my payment for him for his day. What do you do? Oh no. They actually, they work for you. They look great. They do. They're great glasses.

All I have is dog shit like going Amazon and buy a 40 pack for $3 and on there, they're like a bad boob job. Like all of my glasses, the ear pieces point into different hemispheres, right? Like one straight up ones. It looks like, you all look like I sat on them. But I don't know, man, unless you're really careful with them, I don't really see the point of really expensive sunglasses. Well, somebody told me that when you used to go to the lake all the time and stuff, it's like, dude, unless you're really careful with them, I don't really see the point of really expensive sunglasses. Somebody told me that when you used to go to the lake all the time and stuff, it's like, dude, you're gonna get drunk and jump in with them on.

I've lost sunglasses jumping in with them on for getting I was wearing them. Yeah, I think there's, you hit an age and then you can no longer buy expensive sunglasses. So you have to really cherish the ones that you have, knowing that you will lose them. A fish slapped off my last pair of expensive glasses. You told me to store them into the ocean. Yeah, I got one of those stupid cattle call, but you know, we have cattle boats, yeah, cattle boats or every shoulder shoulder and yeah, shoulders shoulder. Yeah.

And then you end up, nothing's biting. so you end up just fucking getting fucking rockfish and shit from the bottom. Yeah. Dragon up these dead fucking boatish guys, bugging out. Yanked on his thing at the end, and I was standing in the middle of the boat, putting an anchovy on my hook, and a fucking 20 pound fish cracked me in the side of the face and knocked my glasses into the ocean. Great. Everybody was like, oh, that just happened. Yeah. So well, there goes those glasses. Listen to this, listen to the smooth sound

of my microphone arm. Nothing, you hear nothing. You hear nothing. I've been meaning for months to grease up this arm. Oh, it's like butter. Look at this. Oh, little bit, little bit, little bit. I'll get that later.

I got Sean. Do WD 40. You have no idea. You have no idea. The number of things I had to do to get the WD 40 that I knew I had. I'm not buying WD 40 that I already have. You know you haven't had it in the garage somewhere. I know it's in there under the sink.

Fuck, could be under the sink. It's not under the sink. Fuck, could be under the sink. It's not under the sink. I checked there through everything out. I've tried to, I've tried to grease this thing up about a hundred times. Really? But there's like 40, you know, and there's like some, like Skyrim and there's too many quests that load up that you forgot the original one. Well, I've never played Skyrim, but you can imagine.

I can. You can imagine. I can. I'm surprised you didn't call smiley He's got some w to face in like a in like a tool belt he wears all the time. I need to fix the front of my house. It looks like shit. I just I don't know the spirit of Ralph now that I'm wearing the Ralph a male glasses. Yeah keeping these by the way these are pretty fucking tight. The people who hate Ralph you know how everything Ray bands isisex, like they label everything unisex.

I didn't know that. Oh yeah. They say that they're women's glasses because they're unisex. So I guess I'm wearing women's glasses. Got it. But just as likely men's glasses. Could be either one.

Frankly, they look great. They identify as different on different days. So good. Felt so good to get this thing fixed. It's like a deep splinter in my mind, like a pimple popper that just keeps the blackhead keeps coming out. Oh boy. You know those Instagram ads for a camera that goes in your ear

and you can scoop wax out with it. So you can see where it is and then it's like a little shovel on the end of it. And the camera. Yeah, and it's like a wireless, it has a camera. You're, I love it. I don't know that, most people have the skill set necessary or the experience to like dig in there without doing something dumb.

Like going, like, oh, I'll just move it a little bit. It's like, no, you moved it way too far. Bam, such a pussy shot. It's perfectly fine and fun and cool. Like I do it blind with a Q tip Look, that's like that's how you fucking do it. Then you've got to really be in tune with your body You know, yeah camera gives you a false sense of security like a backup camera in a car You got to do that shit. You got gotta do that shit blind by feel and intuition, like a great surgeon. I was my girlfriend bought one and I tried it first,

you know, obviously. Go with your deaf tip. So I'm doing it and it's got a, and I'm telling myself the whole time, like okay, you were good at dissent, you're good. This is just like the half pipe sonic bonus level, you can do this, you're not gonna fuck up your ear, like I'm piping myself up

because you obviously don't want to be too far doing what you're doing with it. Right, right. And I'm controlling this thing and like swiveling it around in my hand to get the wax in my ear. My ears was disgusting. Really?

Disaster. Some big old fucking chicken nuggets I pulled out of it. Jesus. I went down to the pond, I took him to Gold for cash, tried to, um, I'm using it. And I'm like, they're selling this device to women. We're gonna have millions of deaf women

in that they're selling this on Instagram to just whoever, like, you have to rotate it and then remember the rotation of the thing because the camera stays oriented to up all the time for the device. So when you rotate the device, the camera doesn device, the camera doesn't rotate on your phone, but it's rotated in space. So you have to remember that when you're scooping goop out of your ear.

So you don't go the wrong way. Right. Oh God, yeah, that's a fucking, that's dangerous as fuck. This is a special disorientation in a flying, you know? And they're selling it on Instagram. I like honey, they got somebody's got to shut this down. This can't, this can't be allowed to happen on it. This aggression cannot stand.

I'm doing this and then I give it to her and I'm like, all right, here you go. She of course has nothing in her ear. I'm like, all right, well now I really feel like a fucking monster. Yeah. I don't know what you're doing with your, I don't know what you're going on in your body. Maybe you need to eat some more yogurt or something.

Jamie Lee Curtis yogurt or something. I don't know. Digestive. Is that just for women farting? Like why do they have so many problems with digestion? Women. I don't know. It's, I mean, it's definitely not.

Do they not know how to do it? That's up there. That's a possibility. Well, it digestion like anything in your body takes energy, right? You're gonna, you bonus it. Oh, laziness, that's why they're not doing it. Well, nobody is.

They get so fat, they're packed full of food. Well, it's donuts. They don't give the mouth arrest. So the body can't do. It can't, you know, it's not really, it's not great at multitasking when you're asking so much of it in one and also women aren't good at one area. I've noticed.

Okay. Oh my god. It's already late. Fuck. I didn't even talk about Ralph. That's my fault. Again, you're lucky. I'm not Steven Crowder Sean. Yeah. Yeah

Welcome to the day you want to get into you love it. You got us a show where it's a time contest coming to you live from mountain Bunk of deep and audacity failure. I mean how's it going? Okay, the 20 million other man during me is always world touring alleyways comedian Sean the audio engineer Hello, what's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourselves in the audience. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourselves. Especially this one goes out, especially to you Ralph. Thank you for not killing yourself in my house.

Was there a question? I never. Yes. I thought we were going to have a full blown Chris Varley situation in my house. Oh, no. With Ralph. I thought that was going to be the end of his podcast in Korea. The end of his life career.

Oh my God. He got a little over served himself. I feel shot in various ways. I don't know. It's he caught a okay. Do you have to change names to protect the guilty or the, I don't know. Ralph had a major win, major win this week. He's been in this three year long, protracted. By the way, bonus episode up at patreon.com slash the dick show. Road rage Philly will be up there

soon. I hope I'm going to bug Carl and Riley about it out right after this show. That'll be up there. There's, you got to see the Ewok bit on the road rage Philly thing. Oh really? Apparently Carl, Carl, I met Carl's parents. You did? Yeah. And I asked them for some embarrassing thing about Carl that they could tell me. So I can get one of them. That's, that's so fucking. I was down there. I told my fucking. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad.

I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so sad. I was so. We're all used to pretend to be a wicket, the Ewok. And that was his guy who's like a, he'd, like, be a pain in the ass. Don't be an asshole. His wicket, the Ewok, like, all dinner. He would be like, I'm wicket, the Ewok. Like his now grownup persona of being a jerk. He used to enact as, it's wicked. That's something cute.

Like that married with children rip off show where the guy goes into the basement and talks to the bunny as Bobcat gold toy to wherever the fuck. Like Mel Gibson's beaver. Top of the heat. Top of the heat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Of course, who could forget those things? Right. Like, like the beaver of Mel Gibson, but it was wicked. Right. So now, I guess that's going to be incorporated into their show for their, for their, their, their punishments and stuff. That's, that's part of the, that's part of the road rage show Philly show to patronocomps such as so um oh yeah Ralph so I'm finally feeling back to normal oh my god after a week of dealing with the well

what felt like my wife running out on me. Oh, why not? Honestly. Jesus. You're gonna start a war with Ralph here. No, I, I don't think so, I hope not. Okay, yeah, he's probably not. These are the reality. Ralph's been in this protracted three-year legal warfare with his first baby mama, right?

Yeah, I first like, yeah. He's like, she's a Disney adult. I think that's, that says it all. I get it. And he had a major victory coming in to stay at my house. He saw his son and then he was going to stay at my house just to make it more convenient for him and then go back up and see his son again before he went back home to Mexico, right? His son's in California. Yeah, his son lives with his the son's mom, the baby mama up in northern California and then go to who's going to live in Mexico with his wife and his daughter. Who does Ralph? Ralph lives in Mexico. That's right.

For like the last couple of months or something. I don't know, a year maybe, I don't know. I had no idea. Mm-hmm. You guys are up, you guys are a major winning court where his baby mama, who's just trying to fuck him over and not let him see his kids and stuff. Yeah. His kid.

She didn't know how a trial works. Okay. She came to court and said to open the trial, she goes, well, I think all the documents speak for themselves. Oh, I said, well, no, you got to like present evidence and he gets to question the evidence and like, right. You know, cross examine and these sorts of things. What are they representing themselves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Because the first plan was to bankrupt Ralph, but then Ralph said, well, I'm just not going to pay for a lawyer. So then the other side, he's being funded by the in-laws, said, oh,

well, we're not going to pay for a lawyer either. So now it's just... Well, that's stupid. You're okay. I'm going to fight you on my knees with one arm behind my back. You know what? You're all going to do the same thing. You're the same thing. Let's keep things nice and retarded. Yeah. What the fuck? She goes well.

I mean, I think all the docuists speak for themselves and then just goes, okay, case dismissed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But one small step for a man, one giant win for mankind, right? Yeah. We told you bitches, you don't know how to do anything. Maybe you should watch some Perry Mason like me instead of fucking the little mermaid for the 50th time, right? Right. So Ralph comes now, he's celebrating a little bit like, well, you know, you better be careful.

Usually there's a big L that follows any W you have, right? Pride and such. So I wake up the next day to a screenshot for my girlfriend, apparently Ralph's wife left Mexico with his daughter while he was here in my house. Ralph's now wife with... Oh my God. I got this text from her from the screenshot of Twitter saying, my wife just from me and

my wife are separated. She left Mexico and took the kid. And I think and he was at your house when he sent this tweet. Yes. And I think and I'm sicker than shit by the way. Yeah. I'm only just recovering from Philly because I think the guy wearing the shirt that said the world's greatest racist who then woke up in a hospital.

What? The next day after getting his ass kicked and Philly. God. I think he got me sick. Um, so I'm looking at this going. Oh no. I said, you had to do this now. You couldn't wait till, you know, it's back in the back in my day back in the 80s and 90s

You they leave a letter right where you call the dear John letter where you get home. Oh wow This huh wow this really sucks. It wasn't hey, are you at your friend's house? Who's second stuff? Yeah, here you go. I'm out of here. Why don't you deal with that? Oh My god. Oh my god Yeah I'm laughing, but it's you know, it's it's Oh my God. Yeah. I'm laughing, but it's, you know, it's a terrible situation. Yeah. He doesn't know if she went back to the States,

does he even know where she went? Yeah, yeah, she could be an asshole about it, but she's not. She's like, clearly, she just wants him to clean his act up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you have a choice. Do it or not? Yeah. A, yeah, yeah. And then you have a choice. Do it or not. Uh, yeah.

A lot of men have had that choice. Um, so, so he came down here. He's like, uh, I think I should stream. He woke up with the tags. He's like, uh, I got up there on my phone. It's a therapy. How you, how you feeling? Yeah.

Um, not good, I imagine. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I should probably stream. I said, I don't, I don't give me the ball. No good, I imagine. Yeah. Yeah, I should probably stream. I said, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't think so. Because, yeah, I think I should. I'm like, all right, well, you know, obviously, I'll, I'll, I'll be out. Yeah, you're not gonna, you asked why you're not what, right? You're not one to keep, you know, it's like, hey, like I said, probably, and maybe not

a good idea, you keep going. Not? Not my job to stop you anymore. Yeah, I don't have a more compelling argument that I don't think you should. Right, right, right. I've exhausted all my... That, this is you're making a choice, you're a grown man. Yeah, what's the where it's gonna happen? You do, you look foolish, oh no.

Oh, right, so we're saying, you know. Welcome to a career on the internet. Yeah guess right? Oh Christ. Oh, you looked Yeah I Guess this is this is the funny part. I'll talk about we talked a lot, but it's not none of it's funny At some point at some point during the day or the next day maybe, Ralph woke up and he's like, I feel like you just maybe slipped me something last night.

Did you slip me anything in my drink? And I'm like, why would I do that? No. Was the last thing. I'm sicker than hell. Why would I? Just your ass hurt, Ralph. Yeah.

I feel like you slipped me. Yeah, for some reason last night I was out of it and I thought you did and I was talking to Andrew Anglin. I think Dick slipped me something in my drink or something. He slipped me something. One of his goofy drugs that he slipped me a Mickey. Right. You know Andrew Anglin is the daily stormer owner of the daily.

He's like the most hated man in the world. Probably. Yeah, he's like, like, it's like a comedy slash like, it just imagined like the worst sort of the worst stereotypes you could write in the name of white supremacy and then double it like everything. I mean, it's speech, right? It's just like, yeah, I have a hard time being offended right? It's just like, yeah, I have a hard time being offended by things people write. So, but he was wiped completely off the internet and he's like, everyone just, he's like synonymous with the Hitler and Satan at this point. I mean, I've heard of the daily storm. Okay. Okay. He's an interesting guy.

He has whatever. I'm not changing anyone's mind one way or the other. Yeah, right. So Ralph's gonna have any, because I think Dick Slipman, Mickey, Andrew Anglin of all people goes, I don't think Dick would do that. Why? I think you.

There's one guy who's defending me. Right. So yeah. And it's Nazi cubed. Yeah. Yeah. So then, how much longer did he stay? Did he have to, what's he like?

He stays, yeah, straight. I gotta get the fuck out of here. I gotta. He's gotta go see his son and go back home. Yeah. To an empty house. To Mexico. You's gonna be rough. You're gonna be a rough couple months.

When did he leave? And he's got no sunglasses. That's he left on Thursday. We went to go get some ice cream and donuts, and I said, let's post a picture with our ice cream. That'll really drive people crazy. So he's like, oh yeah, that will drive him crazy. Why was that drive him crazy?

I don't know. It's just something like two. The reason the Taliban having ice cream drove everybody crazy. It's just like two guys having ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know something else I noticed in Philly.

Yeah. Is every single, every single blackber driver we had was playing like smooth jazz really i've never heard that be they'd certainly don't hear i've never heard a smooth jazz station being played here no you're like you would what would you expect you expect hip hop right well yes racistly yes i would but you know our one oh six i mean that's like the station here in it. Yeah, I would.

But I didn't know that, I didn't know as possible for every single, the first guy was like, okay, that's a bit odd. Smooth jazz played at uncomfortable volume levels. Are they all different ages too? I don't know how many uber drivers you had. A lot. No, they're about, I don't know what to say, late 20s or something.

I was just saying, like, is it like a generational thing? Well, it's my generation, or our generation, whole thing. Everything all too loud, all like distractingly loud. Like, if it's any, most other genres of music are too loud, it's tolerable. Yeah. But smooth jazz too loud is just like really grating grating and off putting, I don't know if you.

Well, no, I get it because it's, it's still grocery store music. Yes, but it's like, it's capable now. Yeah. At least the lawyers don't win. I said, I agree. That is the upside. Did you slip me a Mickey? Two. Two.

Two Mickey's. I mean, I would never act like that normally. He's like, I'm sure you slip me a Mickey. I'm like, I don't know what happened. I mean, yeah. He's like, well, check your, let's see your, maybe I slip myself a Mickey. Oh my God, that's possible.

You're having a pretty rough time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's today. So I went into the drawer and I got, all the Mickey's were gone. My Mickey, I have a little vial of Mickey there. Yeah. Well, is it in there?

Well, yeah, it's bone dry. Oh, boy. That's about 40 mikes that are missing. That's a lot of mikes to be missing. A lot of mikes. Yeah. That we're missing. Right.

What time period do you, how many dimensions do you think there are? Yeah. Raise your, show me on one hand. Yeah. How many dimensions you see right now? I'm guessing more than three. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about, I don't know.

I made fried eggs naked today. Oh, okay. I don't know why I did that. Well, look at this. Look at these two friendly guys. Look at these two friendly guys have an ice cream. Naked today. Oh, okay. I don't know why I did that. Well, look at this. Look at these two friendly guys. Look at these two friendly guys have an ice cream. Oh, you got a cup and a cone.

Yeah, I'm a cone man. Yeah, you're a cone man. That's cool. I don't like to have any evidence that I had ice cream when I'm done. And have to look for like a trash can. Here you go, round. I know.

Accidentally leave it in. I like to devour a complete, that's why I like a bread bowl. I really want my own chowder. Yeah, good, good call. Consume the bowl, done. I know. Accidentally leaving him. I like to devour a complete. That's why I like a bread bowl. I really want my ham chowder. Yeah, good, good. Consume the bowl. Done. I really like the napkin too.

Well, let's go. You and me can post the same picture. That's true. The prevailing sentiment seems to be that I need to yell it Ralph until he stops drinking. Oh, that's... I don't think it's a good idea. to yell it Ralph until he stops drinking. Oh, that's, I don't think is a, I don't think is a good idea. No, it's not, I don't think that's ever worked.

No, that way. No, no, no, it's, that's, you know, that's not your job. Certainly not from someone holding a drink in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We're into real life. Probably that. Probably my dad used to, my dad used to compare himself to people like much worse than him.

It's a Hitler. Like, like, you know, like, at least I never blah, blah, blah, blah. When you had a problem with him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the, yeah, no, no, you're, you're a raging alcoholic. Like you can't, you're out of control in your life. Like that's, you know, at least I never, at least I'd never did Coke at the same time.

I drank it. Oh, yeah, okay. That's that's that track. Good point. Good. Yeah, because you're right. You're doing a bang up job in your life with just the booze.

That's yeah. Yeah, I don't think yelling at people works really. No, no, because they get, because they pull that shit. What do you, you know, it's like he's going to, well, but you, you know, you can go, well, at least I'm not as bad as you. Yeah. Uh, okay. Let me, I'm pulling up this, uh, this crowd earth thing.

I want to talk about that today. So Stephen Crowder is a little, we've talked about him before. He's a homosexual. He's like a leading right wing homosexual commentator. No, he pretends to be straight. Obviously. Okay. So did he, did he use to? Was he openly gay?

No, he never what? So you're just, okay. So what does that have to do with it? Well, no, I mean, has he ever identified as a homosexual or do people just call him gay? I may not with his words are not like saying explicitly. I'm a homosexual but with everything else. He's always said he's straight. Uh, yes. Okay. But he's obviously got it. He's got it. Okay.

Um, so I guess the, everyone hates me for this too. Everyone's really picking on me this week. Okay. Here's, uh, here's Stephen Crowder. He came out and said, um, my, I'm getting a divorce because he came, he went on his show and said, I'm getting a divorce because I picked the wrong woman. I'm only getting a divorce because legally,

she's allowed to get a divorce from me without my approval, which is like a monstrously psychotic thing to say. Yeah, both of those things. Sure, sure. Like to go on your show and trash your wife who has no show. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. Pretty big. That's what's called a power dynamic issue. That is what's called a power dynamic issue. Right. Right. Right. Going on TV,

in front of millions of people saying, my wife's a cut. That's why like a bully pulpit. Is that like a light term? I mean, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I'm using that right. And then he said, and we're only doing it because legally, she's allowed to separate for me. And my thought is, well, would you, would you prefer that she's not, like, is that what you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That what you're going at, that you, that if she had to get your permission to leave you, you wouldn't allow it. Uh-huh. Because that's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So his wife did the hilarious thing of releasing an argument that they had And here's the art here's the argument of She's got now who's got the show That's all right, right? I'm gonna play it So he's sitting I'm proud her sitting in his backyard There were there, croutor sitting in his backyard smoking his cigar, his wife, is that now ex-wife, his eight months pregnant with twins, literally barefoot. Yeah.

This is, I bring this up because I just hate conservatives now. Yeah, hate them for their behavior and their double standards and their hypocrisies and their lies They're they're they're gaslighting and their bullshit and how they protect each other's evil and how they blame everybody else for things that they Cause well and that with their behavior Here it is now we can talk about and then we have a guy Christian DMZ calling in in just a moment We can talk about it and then we have a guy Christian DMZ calling in just a moment He really talks like this is private How about you first? He really talks like this in private I You're going to take the car and we're going to be talking about it. Just think about what he's saying. What do you think? By her taking his car to go to the store to buy his grilling supplies, he won't be able

to go to the gym or see his friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because she's going to be gone for like three days. Yeah, buying his grilling supplies. Yeah, his pellets. Yeah. Well, he's fucking psycho. He's a fucked, right? Yeah, that's insane.

That's insane. That's insane. That's insane Because he's gay My lack of My life is second Are you, you can see what your piece is. Bingo. Watch it.

Whoa! Watch it. Watch it. That's the way. You fucking watch it. You bitch. What? And I need some space.

We need to just something. Raisinable. Sad reason. I love you. I love you very much. I don't look at the I love you more like it's okay

put on some gloves now I like it's not fair and it's just in general what a manipulative mother. Yeah. By the way, the gloves thing is, he wanted her to put medicine on the dog that's harmful to women when they're pregnant. Yeah.

And so she said that. It'll absorb through the skin. Yeah, she said, no, I can't. It's a harmful, this is harmful to pregnant women. He said put gloves on and do it. Yeah. Or you don't get to drive to the store to get my grilling supplies.

What a fucking psycho. Jan, we're, we're, we're, we're the, we're the, this is the entire conservative right way. Like this is their talking business. It's an aspect of it. Yeah, it's an aspect of it. Millions of people listen to this idiot. I love you.

I love you. I mean, she I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Hey, watch it on the front. Hey, maybe not the right one. Maybe not the right one. Get it, get it. Hammer her. Hold on, hold on. Are you committing nothing at the moment? What are you thinking? Ah.

Uh, then he screams, I'll fuck you up inside. Um, so what a fucking psycho. These lunatics on the right, Trump is, Trump's gone. He's not winning president. There's nothing anymore. Yeah. They, uh, they want to kill drug dealers for poisoning the youth, right? Yeah, sure.

Ending Western civilization. They say porn is ruining Western civilization. Yeah. E-Hor is only fans is destroying our youth. Is it being destroyed? Our youth is being destroyed by these things that you are doing. Right. That I am doing.

Right. Right. Oh, well, this police porn and drugs is destroying our children. Yeah. All these kids, the children. It's always the children. Dancing is destroying our children. They're basically grooming children all of them. And everyone's just as it was excusing it as a groomer.

They need to go straight in a wood shipper. All these liberals and star woke star wars and Legos and trans people are killing our kids. Motherfucker, you are killing your kids. You are killing your kids. You are killing your kids. You, the people who are excusing you, the people you being all day, being fucking tyrants and lunatics,

having this religion that you've perverted and installed in your own head, like a new OS that you are somehow God is what's turning out the drug addicts that are fiending for something to distract them from the childhood you put them through you conservative guys conservative men who act like this and follow this lunatic are causing all of these problems infinitely more harm. Then some drag show, some fucking trans swimmer. It starts in your house.

It starts in your fucking house. You, there's just millions of people subject to this. Yeah, it's just people, it's just people, you know, deflecting like any kind of blame or responsibility. Yeah. No fucking responsibility. Yeah. My kids fucked up because he saw a guy dressed as a fucking woman when he was eight.

Yeah, no, it's because he saw you screaming at your wife every day. That's why everything's going wrong. It's crazy and they're defending it. Yeah, sure. Well, you know, if you had your worst argument, well, I'm not on TV every day saying, you need to be a good Christian to get the most rewards out of life. Am I?

I'm saying I'm a nihilist and a drug addict, and don't do what I do, but be real careful with people and like, makes, you know, the tiniest thing can cause problems. And the problems that you're experiencing are probably caused by you. So you gotta check yourself.

Right. However you wanna check yourself. Right. However you wanna do things, they're going, and they're out there every body count, body count, body count, these fucking whores don't have sex. You can't have sex before marriage. Do it like me, do it the right way. Is this the right way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're married.

I don't know, is this the right, all you fucking, all you Christian fundamentalists that wanna make poor and illegal. Make sure your fucking house is in order. Let's see it. Let's see the worst day. Oh, well, you know, every marriage has its rough, oh, you're like this too then.

So your marriage is like this too. Well, then why don't you go work on therapy before you start making drugs illegal, before you start lynching drug dealers. And making poor illegal, before you start revving up the wood shipper for all the imaginary pedophiles that have taken over the country, the country, why don't you guys get in and have a little group therapy and show each other the worst moments of your

good Christian marriage and leave the rest of us alone. We know where fucked up. Right. You guys don't seem to be aware of that. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people, they know something's not right. They know that a lot of people don't understand maybe that they're as fucked up as they are, but they there's an inkling of like, yeah, I mean, that's not right. Yeah. That's but some people have zero self awareness at all and everybody else is the ass. And they're filling everybody else's head with this idea that they, it is the, it is the woke star star wars that's messing up my family. It's not me. It is these horrors with their high body counts. Like maybe woke star wars is messing up your entertainment

enjoyment. You know, it's like, oh, this is so fucking lame. Women, women have to, women have too much sex and they lose the ability to pair bond. No, dude, you just suck. You are a fucking narcissistic creep. That's the problem. That's why the pair bonding isn't happening. It's you.

All of this is you. You got it. You always got to see when Thai sex cult. That's what you're doing. You are siphoning joy from people. Do you have any responsibility in this? You got to be all of it. Most people, most people don't want to fucking look in the mirror ultimately. It's fucking sick. It's easier to fucking blame anybody and everybody else. Let me get, let me get my man in here. Christian, Christian DMZ,

are you, Christian, are you? Are you muted on your end? Somebody unsuppress him. Somebody unsuppress him. We don't know who he was, the unsuppressing, but somebody who haven't been able to figure it out again. Let's see here. What is, do you make sure?

Just DMZ, like demilitarized his own. Yeah. I think Ralph would be all right. I think he'll get better. I've had, I've had, I've had a lot of friends get way down the addiction road. Yeah. I think Ralph would be all right. I think he'll get better. I've had, I've had, I've had a lot of friends get way down the addiction road. Yeah. And just call like, well, man, kind of on your own now, a lot.

And where you are like, you're on your own? Yeah, yeah. I think, I think he's got it. I think he's got it, Clark. Yeah. That was what he, he knows what he has to do. Yeah. That's different than not knowing.

No, it's the issue. True. And the thing is, but it may be a long time before he does something about it. Yeah. And that's fine too. No, but ultimately, you know where you have to go. And you keep going, well, maybe this time,

I can blow out, it's like, maybe you stay dry or something for a while. And then you go back to it and you're like, oh God, it's as bad as bad as you. It's not that bad. Yeah, it's like, oh, fucking, okay. And it'll happen too. And yeah, that's a normal part of it.

Yeah, that's a normal part of it. But like you said, but some people, some people you talk to them and they're like, well, you know, and it's never been my problem. Excuse me, ZZ, thank you. Don't you're not, you got no fucking chance, man. Yeah, yeah. Ralph's, he knows.. Excuse me, is that you think you're not, you got no fucking chance, man. Yeah, yeah.

Ralph's, he knows. Yeah, whatever it is, rehab, whatever it takes. To me, it's just, to me, it all comes down to one thing. Like you just have to make the decision not to drink every day, sometimes 20 times a day. Yeah. And it's hard, sometimes harder to make the decision than others, but you have to make the decision a lot.

Yeah. Well, I mean, nobody's, to make the decision. A lot. Yeah. Well, I mean, nobody's, nobody's force feeding it to you. Yeah. Christian, you there? Yes, sir. Thanks for having me on. Hi, buddy. Thanks for being the only person in Los Angeles who will take my phone call.

I'm ready to meet up for ice cream when you are. Oh, wow. Let's do it. What? Why would you? I need only person to take his phone. So I would do 20 years. I need more LA friends. Uh, so you know, I know you know, Carl, like we have a lot of the same friends. Well, you kind of tell people your backgrounds.

So, so I don't. Yeah. I, uh, I've worked for, uh, Dennis Miller for most of the last 20 years. I produced a radio show with him and co-hosted it the last few years and co-hosted a podcast with him. I booked guests. So even though, you know, Dennis, a lot of people think of him as, oh, he's a conservative. He's socially very liberal. And there's a few things that he was conservative about, of course, but it made it a really bad fit in that world, you know, because who's the most successful Rush Limbaugh and his fans were ditto heads and I believe everything you believe. Yeah. And there's no human on earth that believes everything that Dennis believes, not even me. So, you know, it was, but he was always funny, you know, and he's like, somebody I looked up to, you know, it is a kid growing up and I was like, it was exactly who I wanted to work for.

So man, that's a great time. How old are you? I am 47. 47, okay. So I'm 42. I'm 45. I loved Dennis Miller when I was a kid. Oh, totally. More than Karlin even.

Really? Yeah. I always thought they were, I liked them. They were both really intellectual. Yeah. I always thought the only place Dennis Miller never worked was Monday night football.

I watched it. I'm not a football time. I watched it just for him, like exactly what they wanted. I was like, this is horrible. Well, he made a bail wolf reference once. And I went, oh, nobody's going to get that. Come on. That's why I love him so much is that the giant, the volume of the endless pit of references

he would drop from. Yeah. I mean, he's also story about drop from. Yeah. I mean, I have his own story about his book. Yeah. One of them. He tells a story about the first game he did, Monday Night Football. It was the Hall of Fame game. And he leans into L. Michaels.

He's like, I feel like I should tell somebody I've never been to an NFL game before. So he was just there for jokes and to have fun. And they all got along. He and L. Michaels still very good friends. And you know, he made some pretty good money on it. You know, they're not just contract, but then they decided to go the Madden route. And he was like, well, yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, that's, that makes more football sense. Yeah, I think he's kind of like his, like when guys watch football, they zone out, you know, like, well, they can't pay attention

to Dennis Miller. If anything, you need like a woman talking about something to just keep the wife occupied, right? Like, is he going to get the trumpet sound from the Charlie Brown cartoons, you know, it's like, yeah, it doesn't matter actually what it is. Um, no way. I appreciate you wanting to talk to me at this time on a Sunday because it gives my wife time to practice doing wifey things.

Oh, you know, how to fulfill her wifely duties. And I do hope she's instructing my children in the ways of doing your childreny duties as well. It's all very important here. You got to go have a store and get my barbecue shit. Stephen Crowder is like he's going to become like the crampus for wives. The crampus? Yeah, you better fucking do your wifely duties.

You bitch go get my grill shit or so. Help me God Stephen Crowder will show up. door to door and he will beat your hats. That's pretty interesting to kind of watch the the Trouder narrative evolve over the last few months, you know, from the $50 million slave contract to then releasing the secret audio. And then just last week, these interviews from the contract that he offered Dave Lando, which by the way, not to be confused with Kevin Landau, which leaves the world's worst lawyer.

I'm pretty sure. Yeah, well, there's confusion because I, and people have always called me Kevin Landau. All the sense I was a kid. People have, that's been mining. It's the website. Yeah, and there's also in another Kevin Augh land out who is the world's worst lawyer apparently. That's what I've read. But yes, yes, very confusing.

The land out, the actual land out contract that you're referencing is Steven Crowder had, he made a guy who worked for him sign a contract that like if he showed up five minutes late, he couldn't come into work, like messing up. He had to turn around and go home. He just forfeit the day. Yeah, and he couldn't come in to work like messing around and go home. He just forfeit the day. Yeah, and he couldn't do he couldn't do comedy specials.

Like he couldn't go out of town to do comedy specials, but he's a comedian. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's he also he also wanted him to move his family to Texas and you know, Davis to co-host with Anthony Cumia and the whole time his family lived in Detroit and he did Anthony show in New York and he made it work. We did this with Crowder for a while from what I understand. But then at some point, he just to leverage everything was just like, well, you got to move

your family to Texas. I want you to be here. I don't want you to leave town and go and do gigs. And by the way, that comedy, especially you filmed, I own it. So you know, I mean, Lend Outer talking to Michael Males for like more than an hour last week, is fascinating to hear this awful contract that he was presented. He's Lendow, by the way, also very funny, very funny comedian if people don't know him. He's great. And he was definitely, you know, I don't know, handcuffed to Prouder, but I guess he got a big spotlight as a result, you know?

Yeah, now paid off and like this, like beating the corpse of these assholes and they finally melt down. It's a work at work and for a guy like that, like putting up with any of that. Yeah, I can't imagine that. Even entertaining, like that. Yeah.

I mean, that was Maddox for two years. Like if it would have, yeah. But I mean, like, like I can't go to, you gotta live on my street. Oh yeah, you can't go to UCB without my permission. It's like, it's fucking insane. But that was, yeah, I'm gonna go over here. I'm gonna stay.

That video we watched is like, he made it $100,000 a week and he only had one car for him and his wife. It just seems like everything's this control, control fetish. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say to you. That has to be like a power move, right? Because like, yeah. I'm not that successful. Some people would say maybe I'm a failure,

but we have two cars here in Burbank. So it's like my wife's successful, but she's not, she's not crowded successful and we have two cars. And that has to be what it is. She's just like, no, no, no. And the thing about that video, it's like he's the most basic of like basic guys. He's sitting there smoking a cigar, yelling at his wife because he's like, I gotta get

the grill ready. But my favorite part is that his Canadian accent comes out so strongly. It's like a Tom Green character. I don't know, mentally abusive husband guy. Yeah. Better watch it or you'll be sorry. You know, he's like, you know, I don't know, mentally abusive husband guy. Yeah, better watch it or you'll be sorry. You know, he's like, you better watch it. Like, like the way you got this person. You better watch it. You better watch it. You better watch it. Call. You better watch it. Good. But then I guess it's like you were saying in the intro, it's

the biggest mistake is really his part because wanting to pick the wrong woman. Two, he chose a state where God forbid, if you want to get divorced, you can get a divorce. Oh my God. Just so much of, so much of everything that the right goes on and on about rings hollow now when the, like the ideal of what they promote, like they didn't, those two didn't have sex until they were married. Now she's barefoot and pregnant. And like, this is the level. Yeah, this is it. They're like, they're the perfect Christian family. And this is the

result. Like, okay. So the thing you guys are selling everybody until the baby comes out black. I think they're already out. That was like an old video. Okay. Um, but the things that you're promoting are, are, are all lies. You know that they're not like that's not a fulfilling This is not fulfillment what you're Yeah, I can't tell people that this is the way to go perfectly happy to me. That's communication dick That was open and honest communication. Yeah, that's the the the the tremendous right the foundation of any great relationship right there Yeah, so you did you work for Crowder to? Christian I did I did for a little bit. So I knew him

because, you know, Dennis Miller started during the radio show in 2007. And Steven Crowder got on my radar. But I think I looked it up. It was 2009. He was recommended by Andrew Breitbart, who, you know, probably a lot of people think they know who he is from his media appearances. And the fact that there's still a website with his name on it. But, I don't know, he was a great guy. There was no one more fun to be at a Dodger game with the Andrew Breitbart. But everybody said he was a good guy. He seems like a guy.

He seems funny. Yeah. And, you know, politics was not what he was all about and, you know, it was changed. He's pretty good. Yeah, it definitely changed. Yeah, the website is not what it was. The website was ready for, yeah, his website was a big Hollywood at that time. And Crowder was writing for him at first.

So we had him on and the funny thing is to prepare for this. I looked through my old notes. He was on Dennis Miller's radio show June 18th of 2009. And the hour before that, we had, it's listed as comedian Joe Rogan. So the guests on that show, you know, have billions of dollars dumped on them in the decade or so since, which is pretty funny to see that, you know. Yeah, that is crazy. comedian, you know, comedian Joe Rogan. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do know this. I mean, the guy from News Radio, you know, Joe Rogan. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at

here. You got a Dodger games a lot. We should go to a Dodger game. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm a Metz fan, but I go to a lot of Dodger games because I live here. Wait, you mean you, are you from New York originally? Yes, I am. So you have the winningest franchise in professional sports and then you pick the Metz. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a the Mets. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a, it builds character. I've, I know, but you know, my, my grandparents were, you know, Brooklyn Dodger guys and they were never going to root for the Yankees. Got it. Just sort of. And also when I get to the Mets, the Mets were great when I was 10, they're one of the world series. I remember that series very well. So that kind of a 96. Yeah. Yeah. They tricked me.. That was that was like, Hey, kid, the first,

the first dose is free. You know, I'm like, Oh, that's a good year. And there hasn't really been a great year since then. But yeah, the first one was good. That's how I got into this sun. That's the bill. Buckner, you know, ground ball through the legs. I mean, that was definitely I was riveted by that world series. Yeah. Okay, so you- So, just to summarize it, but Crater would be on probably about once a month or so. You know, Dennis thought he was funny enough. You know, so we had him on about once a month.

And I guess it caught the ear of one of the higher ups of the company who will remain nameless, but I was given the note. The next time Stephen Crater's spot comes up in the rotation, just just doing hour of calls instead. So I was like, all right. So Dennis never got involved in guest booking. Yeah. Every once in a while, he'd ask for like, oh, an author, I just saw this movie, you know, try and get them on. But he, he couldn't have been less involved. So, you know, he was on a little bit less. And then I got to know some of the bigger names in conservative media. Thanks for working for Dennis and knowing Andrew Breitbart. Like, you know, I don't want to flex, but I've been in a room with Gary Sines and Kelsey Grammer more times than I can count, okay?

Okay. What's Kelsey Grammer like? I want him to be a huge asshole. You know, exactly like in Transformers. A huge asshole. Unless he think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think.

Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think.

Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think.

Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. Like you think. even prouder. He started calling himself a comedian. And I don't want to put words in someone's mouth, but he's like, there's somebody really well known who's like, I don't even call myself a comedian. And this guy who writes for something called pajamas media thinks he's a comedian. You know, so, you know, he, he, he wrote for Fox for a while, the Fox News website. He'd be a commentator, but, you know, obviously his career went fine, but he had this moment where he just tore into Sean Hannity for, like, he did a softball interview

of Anthony Weiner. And I don't know. I mean, it's like, you know, you could have an opinion, but you really shouldn't go on Fox and do that. You know, that's like going on NBC, Nightly News and being like, Tom Brokus, sound like you had a stroke. What's going on with him, you know? So, so yeah, he was a, so he kind of lost that, but obviously he struck out on his own and was hugely successful. And I kept in touch with him. He was always, I have to say, he was always really nice to me, complimentary of Dennis in the show, and he would pitch himself to come on. We did have him on a few more times. We just didn't have him on his often. And I ended up being a freelance guest booker for his shows for like two months. It was on a platform called CRTV at that point. And I, again, always nice to me, he's like,

oh, yeah, let's see what you can do around here to help out. I'd had a disastrous stand on another show hosted by a guy named Mark Stein. No one's interested in that. But I just, just getting to get out there, you start to realize like, oh, people who do know who this guy is, it's not that easy to get out there at the name and try and get guests on, you know. So I did it for about two months. And I booked two and a half guests. One of them was Dennis Miller go figure. And I got, I got Bo Derek to say yes, but then I got let go before she was on. So that one doesn't really count. Okay. And I got already laying to come on. And is he still alive? Yeah. Oh,

thank God. Back in 2015, he was, he was, he was, it was 2017. He was, he was still alive. We still have a nose back then too. Yeah, he did. Now he's just like a Hong Kong. The response I got at first was from Crowder directly. I was like, what am I going to talk to already laying about? Unfortunately, I had the answer of, you know, everything. I just had a bunch of bullet points of like, here's how this great. But, you know, just get him to tell the story about mad TV and the pig costume and trying to meet his Coke dealer, you know, during during the lunch break. Take it a swing at a coffee. Yeah. Yeah. He's he fucks everything. Everything he does is a story. What do you mean? What are you talking to Arty laying about? It's what are you

not talking to? I just say one thing. Like say, what does this remind you of Arty? Like, Oh, I was just like when I was a care I was fucking this hooker. I was like, okay, I was just like when I was a care, I was fucking this hooker. I was like, okay, let's bring it up. Yeah. Bring up a pizza place. He'll go for like an hour. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting.

Yeah. So like, you know, it was fun. The one on one interaction was always fine, but I think what a lot of people are starting to talk about now is Steven's dad is kind of like, it's like his, uh, his, uh,ary, his enforcer and like number one cheerleader all at once. So like if he calls you and he's not returning a call that you'd left a message for, Steven's dad definitely wants something from you. There's like whatever the opposite of quid pro quo is, that's usually what it is. He's usually looking for something, you know, so yeah. And so how they got.

Yeah. for something. You know, so yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, Elvis and his manager, yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. But yeah, they let me go because you know, look, I did it for two months. I got like, like I said, two and a half guests. I'm like, look, they should have let me go. You know, I just I wasn't delivering. I actually legitimately felt bad. I was trying to, you know, if I was half-assing it and just taking money, I'm like, well, that's how that was supposed to go. But, you know, I mean, it was just like, you're asking people, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. Yeah, I'm asking, I'm asking like Sylvester Stallone, my dear, I'm on this show, you know,

because, you know, he said, like, here's people I want to talk to. I'm like, I'm going to go out to all of this, you know, it's fine. Sylvester Stallone. I'm like, yeah, big surprise. Slice still on said no. We're going to talk to Boderic about, like, what, what is there to talk to, like, honestly, I don't know anything else.

Animals. Oh yeah, okay. She's a, I mean, Dennis was friends with her. That's why she said yes. So I was, you know, yeah. So it was one of those, like, you know, she's, you know, one of those things. I don't know if she's a great guest, but she's a nice guest.

You know, you talk to her and you go like, oh, it was nice. You know, you're asking, like, come see beautiful Chernobyl. No, seriously, it's nice. Like, no shit, you got trouble booking, you know. My, my favorite part about the Crowder meltdown is after this happened, this video came out, he went on his Instagram and said, okay, that video came out. So I'm going to ask the judge to release all of the information, including like medical records and therapy records. Like he just threatened to like docks his wife's medical, like mental health analysis.

He's trying to say like, look, she's gone to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist says she's crazy. Right. So that's what he posted. And in the comments is like thousands of people going, that video is horrifying. I was in an abusive relationship for like 50, I lost 15 years of my life to someone like that.

Yeah. It's making me sick to see like he just didn't get that like, bro, people are going to be horrified by this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, you're gonna be horrified by this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, you're not gonna dock your wife. You're not gonna say, look at how crazy my wife is, and they're gonna go, oh, well then, yeah, fuck her.

Yeah. He also said the video is out of context. He's like, do you believe drama dies? And I'm like, context. What's the context where that video makes sense? Yeah. You know, where you're like, oh yeah, yeah, no, we're on your side.

The context. The context is there was a bomb in the dog that was going to go off. And if the wife didn't wipe the lotion on the dog's skin, it gets the whole blow up New York. So that's why, and he was holding the, you know, he was holding some electricity together on his end. Right. The context where that makes sense is they were shooting a movie.

The context where it makes sense is all everyone afraid to call it out is worried that they're also that big of an asshole. That's the context. Anyway, fuck, fuck, Crowder. So you, are you a writer in LA? Yeah. I mean, you know, the joke writer, my wife's a real TV writer. You know, she wrote for Mad Men, Orange is New

Black, some great shows. Which episode of Mad Men? Well, the one where Bobby has a field trip and he gives away Betty's lunch to someone. It's like, it's like late in the series. It's like the last season. It's one of the, the last probably five episodes. The camp? What's that?

The one where they go to camp. The one where Don goes to the field trip, like a class trip. And Bobby, you know, Betty had packed the lunch. You know, it's probably, I don't know, just like a, like a tab and a pack of smokes, but he gives it to some girl in his class. And so it's just this like, you know, really uncomfortable power struggle. I think that was also in the last, she's in the last shot of the series when John Ham is meditating.

She's like sitting right behind him. Oh, that's awesome. It's pretty great. Yeah. God, that was a good ending. That was such a fucking guy. People were disappointed by that, but which is crazy to me. That was probably one of the best endings for series I've ever seen. Yeah seen. Yeah, especially when you think of all the shows that ended badly,

like that was a great one, I think. Yeah. I don't think it could have ended any other way. Like an actual ad turning like a transformative spiritual experience into one of the greatest ads ever made, like the ultimate cynic move. That's cool, man. How is it hiding who you are from LA? How's that going for you? Well, it's a lot of, it's a lot of like, you explain like, oh, I worked for Dennis Miller and there's a lot of like, oh, what happened to him? I'm like, I don't know, he's still really funny

and he probably believes a lot of the same things you do. Depends on how rich you are, you know? If you've, you've never been up to Monestito, you'd probably have a different outlook on life than you do if you live in Burbank like I do. Yeah. But I mean, is Dennis Miller considered like some conservative pariah by that turned into like the conservative comic for some reason when we were like in the 90s, remember that?

Why did that happen? Well, happened post 9-11 was when he was, yeah, it had definitely happened post 9-11 was when he, yeah, it had definitely happened post 9-11 where it cause he supported Bush, you know, in the second, in the 2004 election, I know, and that was when I think a lot of people really started to take notice of him, but I never thought for one second he was like some like extreme right winger,

like under any circumstances, I've just never gotten that vibe from him. Yeah, no, I mean, he under any circumstances, I've just never, I've never gotten that vibe from him. Yeah, no, I mean, he'd have like, you know, the general managers of station groups will haul you in and be like, you know, hold it over you like, you know, we're going to renew your show. We were on like 300 stations at the peak of the radio show. And they would like sit there with like a huge Bible on their desk and try to explain to him, like, here's why gay marriage is wrong. It's's like, I've been to friends gay marriages. What am I supposed to do?

Like, think that it's wrong. And it's like, if you don't like the show, you don't have to take it. And some didn't. But for the most part, people were like, all right. And he was, I had lunch with him like two weeks ago. It's not that he isn't funny. You know, he's just as funny as he ever was.

But now it's like, he's made enough money where he's like, I don't need to work. And it's such a headache to work, you know? Like the interview he did with Crowder that I referenced, he actually was like really freaked out from it because Crowder trying to be a guy's guy, he threw around a slur for transsexuals that some of us don't use anymore. I mean Jim Norton has that word in his phone book, I'm sure, but the rest of us might not use it. And he was so, because he's like, he's like, he said that. And I listened to it. And that was the other thing I was going to mention. I didn't get like a clump subscription

so that I could check out this show. I was booking guests for, I had to like borrow a friend's log in because I'm like, I don't even know what this is. So anyway, I listened back to it and I'm like, I used to be your clear of it, it was fine. But, you know, so he even back in 2017, he was like, I don't want any headaches from anything that I do, you know. And he looks back to me to talk about politics.

And it's kind of impossible now, because you got the, the right is now, like we need to murder drug dealers. And no one should have sex ever. Like, well, I don't know. I don't even know if I can talk about these things seriously, like, well, you guys are just kind of

making things up now. Like none of those are actionable. What you're saying is just a retarded fantasy that you're having in this weird audience of yours is having together aggressively with all the rest of us. There's no reality anymore in this. I don't think you're going to win. I don't think you're going to elect a president by promising to keep men out of women's college sports. It's just not a winning platform to me. You know, I don't think a lot of people when they're, you know, they're filling out their ball their ballot that that's what they're thinking about, you know, it's a, you know, it should be a time where you'd think that

Republicans could really kind of cruise towards victories, but then they're like, you know what we're going to do? We're going to fuck around with abortion. Let's do that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the whole country's in the shitter. Oh, yeah, because the economy's fucked.

We printed a shitload of money. The jobs all got outsourced. Computers are coming fast. Guys, we got to buckle down and stop black women from aborting babies right now. We got to push this through. That's, if I'm... We'll adopt the white babies.

That's gonna be fine, but you know, the other ones we got to kill though. Yeah. It's really, I guess it's funny to see, it can't be anything else. It's so horrifying. So what's your podcast, Christian? So I have a podcast called The Black Cast. My last name is Black.

So B-L-A-D-T-C-A-S-T. I've been doing it for about 10 years. And because I'm, you know, showbiz adjacent for our 10th anniversary, we've had on, like, Dan Carvey, John Loveitz, Carl Hamb Hamburger from who are these podcasts, which is special guest. But actually, I had him pull clips from the first episode of my podcast and make fun of me. And it was actually a lot of fun. So that's how I met Carl. He pulled clips from the show. I was like, I didn't realize what the fuck? Who is this? Who is he? Who is this podcast? Who the fuck is this guy?

Yeah, he's great. I got to have Carl call in next week or something like that. Now that all the Philly stuff has, now that all the dust is settled, everyone went to the hospital who needed to go to the hospital. Okay, that's good. And some people waited an hour for a cheese steak and some didn't. Yeah, Carl just left. I got it. That's what happened. You saw one

line and you just left. What the fuck was that? Didn't you? Do you want to hang give us like emotional support? He's like, no, I don't go eat right now. Well, let's go see a Dodger game. Absolutely. I got to and you know what, we can get ice cream in a helmet and we can post a picture of us having the ice cream so we can get two birds with one stone. We're all going to do the Ralph picture of me of me and Ralph, but with everybody at the ice cream. I got to secret I got to secret for Dodger games. It is three tenths of a hit of acid before the game.

And then it makes the game the whole game exciting and you don't spend $200 on beer that should cost like 25. Got it. Right. I'm pretty sure that's what Vince Cully did throughout the 90s. Right. Yeah. And Vince, I'll be damned if you're going to say that Vince Cully doesn't know what he's

doing. Right. Doesn't know anything about baseball. Yeah. Let's, let's do it. It was nice talking to you. Thank you for calling in. Absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Did anything make you a rage? That's a great question. But you know, it's, I guess, just to keep it on brand is, you know, people that are saying, like, why is everybody piling on Crowder? Right now. That's where I rage about right now. That's why I started talking to you. I didn't even know you and I just was like, hey, it's really funny what you're saying. I know I'm a little bit,

whatever. And there's so many, you got dragged into so many conversations, Dick, with people that are like, yeah, but what about the, and you're like, yeah, I mean, he's verbally abusing his barefoot pregnant wife. Yeah, what do you want? That's what you guys say is like the peak, the best way to enjoy life for men and women is barefoot and pregnant and being submissive. And she's like, okay, like immediately, okay, I won't take the car, I'll call an Uber.

Doesn't get more submissive than that. Doesn't really look like that rewarding of a lifestyle. I mean, I don't know, the gaze that you're always saying are destroying the fabric of civilization or having a good time. They're having parties. Nice dinners. Yeah. They're rocking out. Now I don't come over. Yeah, go ahead. Can I leave you with something that I had emailed to you that I had remembered in the back of my mind and came to the forefront this week? So Stephen Prouder on May 11th, 2015, he wrote an opinion piece for Fox News dot com. Still there as of right now, but I grab screen grabs just in case.

The opinion piece is called, I'm a guy and I'll never badmouth my wife. And every word of it is worth reading, but I'll just read this paragraph. Firstly, there may be some people out there who actually believe their wife to merely be the quote, old ball and chain unquote. To you, I say, you are a loser. Not only are you a loser for dishonoring the woman who is now an extension of yourself, but you're a loser for picking someone who you hate having to come home to every night. What kind of an idiot are you to marry a person that you think is an absolute moron? These same people are shocked.

When I don't chime in on their urinate and mone-fast regarding their old maids, yeah, imagine that. Imagine actually thinking that I married somebody better than myself. End quote. All the signs were there. Yeah, seriously. Oh boy, that aged well.

It sure did. That aged so well. Yeah, you should never come out so strongly in front of something you're very likely to regret. Yes. Well, we took this be a let's set self awareness thing. Stop. Stop being such a judgmental asshole.

I'm pretty sure someone wrote a book about that. Yeah. Hey, give it a read. Yeah. My wife and I wrote our own vows. We're like, yeah, I really like you, you know, today. We'll see. Yeah. We'll see. Right now. Right now. It's good. Sorry for my behavior. All right. I'll see you again. Have a good one. All right. Thanks so much. Bye. Okay. What a great guest. All right, thanks so much. Bye-bye. Okay. What a great guest.

Nice laid back, fella. Yeah. Life's a writer. That's cool. She's in the last shot for Mad Men. Yeah. I say I never saw Mad Men. I've probably seen that.

I probably seen five or six times. People love the show. Let's read some comments. Arrange anti-flat earthers. Hey, Dick, how many people really need to know the shape of the earth to make money? Oh, he's upset about anti-flat earthers. So how many people need to know the shape of the earth to make money? Almost none. Even astrology is much more relevant today, both to women and to men trying to get laid. Okay.

Okay. Well, you could just know that the earth is round. That's okay, too. It's not that. It's not, it's not not important. Flat earth beliefs are less harmful than Christianity, Islam, or believing that Vax mandates were justified. Galileo got canceled because he insulted the pope,

not because of his astronomical beliefs. Well, okay. I mean, oh, Patta Common, they didn't give a shit when Copernicus said the earth is flat. That was just an excuse. The earth is round was the n-word of the 17th century. Yeah, I mean, I agree. So, anti-flat earthers conjure images of medieval peasants

showing up at Galileo's door with pitchforks and torches because he defied the ruling authority. And yet they do the exact same shit today. They will happily stone you to death for questioning the surgeon general or their primary school teacher. It's about societal excuses to bully dissenters. And for that, I stand with flat earthers

and people who preserve their beer by leaving it out in the moonlight or whatever that deranged color. So he's saying, don't get so fucking excited about it. I think he's saying that flat earthers are like protesting by pretending to be stupid. I mean, I think it's hard to tell how much they're pretending though.

Well, yes. And I don't think, yes, I think that there's not a whole lot of pretending going on. Yeah, maybe. But there may be a little, there may be some, you might get one that slips in. I think it started like that, like about like a little trolling campaign. I mean, and then it got co-opted by retarded people who are saying that like, this is all of this exists to stop, to hurt Christianity. All right. I'm off the bus on that one. I love the show. I have to go fuck yourselves.

Yeah, you can, it's okay to know that the earth is round. You don't need to... I mean, if anything, I kind of think you could take a second and go, well, why do we know it's round? That might be a good way to go. You want to do some reading? Just do a little reading, like... Curiosity. It's a good thing almost all the time. Take some sticks. Take some yard sticks out to the desert and prove it to yourself

It's it's very easy to prove that the world is round you don't need a spaceship or anything They people have known for since the 500 BC probably before that because they said, you know what? I bet this shit is a circle just like the moon and the sun And then someone said I know I know let's take some sticks Set them up All over the place and see how the shadows if it's flat or a certain way and it's round there another way All of that they're round there you go. It is round. How about that? Yeah, instead of being a gigantic retard and screaming about NASA and

Fish eye lenses and dinosaurs. Uh-huh. Yes. So just go read a single paragraph about Greek scientists. I don't think it's a huge ass. He and says, my girlfriend has begun losing weight. Hey, Dick. Oh, begun. I thought girlfriend has begun losing weight. Hey, Dick. Oh, begun.

I thought he said beyond losing weight. I would light his ass up if he were to say something like that. Speaking of a planet. Not yet. My girlfriend, F size tits. Well, but she's fat. So, yeah. Recently started going on a diet after realizing

she didn't like having sex with the lights on. Oh. What can I do to make sure she stays on this and doesn't lose interest after the initial serotonin release of using noom, noom for a week and saying she's on a diet. She lost 10 pounds so far. I wanna make sure that continues. Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks. And walk to the store, get your barbecue pellets and stuff and they're in back. Do not let her use the car for fuck's sake. Sell her car. Do not let her use the car. Thanks until Shana go vogue himself. Banana stickers.

If she had a good food day, give her, give that bitch a banana sticker. Oh, gotcha. Have a little calendar. Say, you know what? You did a good food day, give that bitch a banana sticker. Oh, gotcha. Have a little calendar. Say, you know what, you did a good job. I have a banana sticker. It's because it's a nice, it's a snack. It's a healthy snack. Okay. Banana sticker.

Today you get a frowny face. You get a fun size bag of Doritos. Those, that's not fun. Yeah. So you get a unhappy, smiley, frowny stamp. Yeah. Women don't like stamps. Stamp of disapproval.

Stamp of disappointment that you're getting. Yeah. Simple. Say you're just joking. Do it as a joke, but you're not joking at all. You're just saying as a joke to gas lighter and letting you get away with it. It's just cruel otherwise. Yeah.

I was just joking. I'm just joking about the calendar and then you do it anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about that? That's a good advice. Okay, yeah. So,

Solid as always. Crowder got chest cosmetic chest surgery. Is he one of those guys? Yeah, because his chest was like, you know how the yelling is on tape? Yeah, some people have that. My cousin had that. He had the surgery.

He had the surgery. Yeah, to get it fixed. Yeah, because. My cousin had that. He had the surgery. Yeah. To get it fixed. Yeah, because her had it on the day as kids were born. Surgery to fix his chest. Seriously? I think so. If that the same day. Yeah, you missed the birth of his kids because he was having a surgery to make himself more

appealing to other gay men. Yeah. Unbelievable. All right. Let's see here. Yeah, my cousin when he was growing up, he was real like self-con, he thought, he would get made fun of by other kids

or that as an uncomfortable thing. Yeah, it was pretty sunken in, but then they fixed it and I haven't seen him in years, but I remember going to the lake, you still had a scar, but he was just look normal. This one, Vinnie sent me this one from transgender to transabled. Now people are choosing to identify as handicap. Uh-huh.

A troubling societal issue called transabolism is attracting attention these days. Transabolism is a newer term for BID, which is a person I actually identifies as handicap, body integrity identity disorder. They identify as handicapped and like physically handicapped, I guess, I mean, you think they identify as mentally handicapped too? Possibly. If they can you identify them as mentally handicapped? Oh, you're one of those BII's, huh? Right. Mentally, you identify as mentally handicapped. No, I don't.

Ah, see, there you go again. I got you. BII has been relabelled to transabilism. mentally, you identify as mentally handicapped. No, I don't. Ah, see, there you go again. I got you. B.I to some. Okay. According to some who are some. The point of changing the identifier from a psychiatric condition, B-I-I-D to an advocacy term,

Transabolism is to harness the stunning cultural power of gender ideology. To the cause of allowing doctors to treat B-I-D patients by, quote, amputating healthy limbs. Oh, oh, amputating healthy limbs. Oh, uh, snipping spinal cords or destroying eyesight. Ah, according to, I mean, I've heard of, uh, you know,

people who they want a limb gone. I was watching a thing on that. And I was going to do that. They, no, no, like in this case that I watched, no doctor would do it. So the guy did it himself. He basically, I think he gave himself frostbite so bad that it like auto-amputated.

Yeah, this is a thing. It's not, people, it's like, this is not part of me. It freaks me out. I don't like it. My arm is, I don't know what happens in your brain to cause that, but I have definitely heard and read about that. Um, a North Carolina college student called Transabolism, a cry for attention, the 24 year old, it's offensive

people to actually suffer from the condition you say you need in order to be your true self. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm sure it's, I'm sure they're making your wheelchair so much worse because they're pretending to have it. It's embarrassing. I don't know if you can be considered a serious human being. if you alter your body like, wow, what a, what a judgmental little handicap kind of it says. You just, you don't know, you don't know how their brain works. God. I got my legs off.

Oh, you're not a serious human being for somebody to do it themselves. I mean, they were for real. I remember the answer after it was like I mean, they were for real. I remember the answer after it was like, I feel so much better. Liz, this guy was like, I feel so much better. Yeah. What a jerk. I didn't think I,

ha ha ha. Ah, instead of getting the appropriate mental health, you need, man, I hate the phrase mental health. People just throw it out to be cock suckers. 99% of the time somebody's saying mental health as a way to insult somebody. Yeah, that's true. That's true. These people are fucking embarrassing. Why don't they get some mental health? Oh, is that, sorry, but that one part of the sentence doesn't match the sentiment of the rest. In one case of B.I.I.D., Jorgon Victoria Olma, 53, a senior credit analyst in Oslo, Norway, identifies as disabled, it disabled, even though she has no physical handicap.

No, that's something different. Can I identify as handicapped and get handicapped parking for the rest of my life? Well, that's... If you can identify as a I get I can get my driver's license to say woman Can I get it to say handicapped good question? Oh, man? We're you're getting there you're getting there. Oh, I'm gonna see I'm gonna start asking you got so many more Dodger games If you dude, I'll run I'm a party bus handicapped parking my god, man like we were parking next to the players It was like it was like 50 yards to the entrance dude. I bet I'd California too. I bet they would let us let me do that. I know I know I

Wow they wouldn't let me identify as sober, but they would let me identify as handicapped by that. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Words, words, words, words. Yikes. Okay. Michael says this woman calculates how many miles at 80 miles per hour.

This is an old clip, but a good one. She explains how long it takes to go 80 miles at 80 miles per hour. This is an old clip, but a good one. She explains how long it takes to go 80 miles at 80 miles per hour. I figured you would like it for the show. Yeah, let's see. Thanks for the laughs. Well, thank you, Michael. Let's take a look at this interesting video you sent us. Since you seem to think it's so funny.

Okay. The real meaning of MPH, okay? All right. We're traveling from Logan to Boise and I just proposed a math question to my beautiful life Chelsea. And the question very difficult to calculate is if you are traveling 80 miles per hour, how long does it take you to go 80 miles? Okay, what do you think, Chelle? Let's go through the... Yeah, I'll see.

What do you think? Well, if I run the mile in about nine minutes... Amazing. Whoa, wait, what about the tire turning thing you were talking about? You think that affects it? Well, I just just guessed it. You probably about, it turns about four times in a mile.

That's crazy. Calculate like guessing calculations. Yeah, I don't know how you work that out. It would be tough. Yeah, so. Is this for real? I don't know. Because if I run a mile, I was like nine minutes,

then I mean, but that's what I'm out of shape when I'm really in shape. Oh, all right, I don't. That's fucking hilarious. I'm gonna need it. Whether that's legit or not. I'm gonna need some more. I'm gonna need you guys to ask your wives

the same question to get a great consensus right now. And this could be another stumper for them. Just that could be another woman stumper. It was amazing. Yeah. Well, if I run a mile, wow. This one's from Nate's as women can't tell time. Okay.

Guys, very sexist. Emails this week. Come on. I said just being stupid. Why am I being stupid? Because everybody knows what a quarter after is. Everybody knows what? A quarter after.

What's a quarter after? After the hour. What's a quarter after? 25. It's a quarter after four, so it's 425. I know. Stop it. No, that's okay.

No, a quarter after is what? Okay, if it's a quarter after. 25 minutes after the hour. Stop it, that's not what a quarter after is what? Okay, if it's a quarter after 25 minutes after the hour, stop it. That's not what a quarter is not 100 minutes and an hour. That's what it is. What is 25? No, but in me, a quarter is 25, but a quarter is just a fraction of measurement. So like, okay, so then what is it when it's half past the hour? 30 right okay, so if it's half past the hour and it's 30 then what's a quarter past? 25 yeah nailed it explain that explains a lot She's not allowed to use the car

Only a quarter of the time yeah allowed to use the car. Only a quarter of the time. Yeah. A lot to use the car. Right. Let's see, this is from Johnny. I love my fiance. He says, this is an article, but after his brain cancer diagnosis, I knew I had to leave.

Wow, that's a surprising turn there. Well, I mean, he's staring his own mortality. She, thank God, cancer saved this man from this bitch. She says, I love my fiance. But after his brain cancer diagnosis, I knew I had to leave him. Oh, Danielle Epstein. Oh, she, I thought he left. No, she left him after his brain cancer diagnosis. On September 8th, the day the queen died, my life changed forever. This is because it was also the day I found out my partner of two years at the age of 37 at stage four brain cancer. Wow,

I'm really sorry, said the neurologist, but your skin suggests a malignant four-plate stage brain cancer. As soon as I heard these words, I knew the future we had planned was over. It disappeared in a matter of seconds, two years earlier. What does she, she says she leaves them though, about a month he was vomiting all the time. We plan to get in gate, Jesus Christ, look at this size of this. They warned me not to, oh yeah, I felt like the man I love was slipping away from me. Yeah, he's dying a cancer. Yeah. Yeah. And I had been so close to everything and all the Sun had been snatched away. Oh, wow. I couldn't eat or sleep. I told my mother, you told my mother, I can't do this. I can't stay with him. They weren't being not to tell him my decision at least

until after his surgery. Oh, they said they tried surgery. We got to know the context of this. So when I went to stay at my mom's house late in September, he went into the hospital for a 17 hour operation. If 4am I received a call, he was out, he had double vision, blah, blah, blah, I was, oh God, he's all fucked up. I'm still trying to come to terms. We had a brief conversation about our future

before his surgery and I admitted I was struggling. There's a chance it can be cured, he protested. I ended our relationship about two weeks later. Oh, he was still recovering in the hospital and I sat and faced him on a chair and told him I couldn't stay with him. Yeah. I think just like, leave, right?

If you're, if you just got brain cancer surgery, I don't wanna have a conversation that about you leaving. Yeah. Yeah, especially because I can't like hit you. He's, is he still alive? I don't know. Was that him?

Yeah, looks like it. They're still close friends. Oh, God. So stage four and they managed to get it out. It's wild. Wow, on Sunday, I will run the London marathon in his honor. I don't think that's necessary. He's run several marathons himself.

So he did get better and she left. Wow. Yeah, I guess sounds rough. Cancer. Yeah. Can you imagine that? You just had brain cancer surgery and your girlfriend wants to have a tell you a whole conversation about how she's leaving.

Yeah. Like, you just like texted her. Right. Like that because that's just not necessary. Yeah, I get it. That's a lot to, that's a big ask of your, can you put me back under stocked out brain? Yeah. Where's the, where's the code for the morphine machine?

Right now I overwrite it. Yeah. How do I overwrite it? What's the code? I got to get the fuck out of here. Yes, the nurse Okay, wait a make it about you This did you see the size of that article? Yeah, it was big Okay, that was big. Anthony Anthony sends this one. Mattel has announced its first Barbie doll with Down syndrome as part of the new diverse 2023 Barbie fashionista's line. Yeah, that's that's not that's not crass at all. Having a Down syndrome Barbie and taking a bunch of picture of a little plastic toy with Down syndrome people

and saying, please buy our product. Hey women, you like this shit. Look at this fucking Down syndrome person that we made a little figurine of. Yeah. Don't you wanna buy this shit? Well, I mean, I have the one one side, I could see that Down syndrome kids, they'd kids, you know, they'd be like,

wow, there's somebody like me, but they also, they also probably know that it's not a real person. We are proud to introduce a Barbie doll as down syndrome to better reflect the world around us. And to further our, how about you have one with like one arm for all the one arm people? I mean, that could be coming. That could be coming. where there are, how about you have one with like one arm for all the one arm people? I mean, that could be coming.

That could be coming. A Lego, I saw it had a wheelchair guy. Oh yeah, yeah, sure. But the wheelchair was way too much wheelchair. Was it? Yeah, let me show you what I'm seeing. Way too much wheelchair. Yeah, it was like, you guys made,

you made the wheelchair too good. Oh, I see. So it's kind of like your paint, like you put too much detail in the wheelchair too good. Oh, I see. So it's kind of like you're, like you put too much detail in the wheelchair. I gotcha. So it's distracting. Lego wheelchair. Like you can make a Lego wheelchair

with just one of those curvy seats and then pop a couple of off-road tires on the bottom. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I put the blanket over her face. She's walking around blind. Okay, you tell me, tell me if this is an over-engineered Lego wheelchair. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Are those spinners on that thing? Oh, those spinners, I think so, yeah. You can get the black, black stone version or whatever it is. Yeah, I mean, you know. Too much. Right, it's too busy.

Give him a little chair, pop some of those wheels. You know the wheels I'm talking about, right? The off-road tires. Yeah. Hi. What are you doing? Look, she's wearing a burka. She's in a hijab.

Yeah. Hi, what are you doing? This is bad manners, Maddie. Very bad manners. You're cool. Okay. Happy is, okay, here's one. Bill, woke, paneled, and anime convention. Hey, just call me Bill. Long time listener since COVID, first time writing, I frequent anime conventions, primarily because of a long time friend, anime conventions are pretty woke, excuse me, as is which I can largely stomach, I pretty me, as is which I can largely stomach,

I pretty woke as is which I can largely stomach, though it can be pretty cringey at times. The long and short of it is I ended up at a panel about diversity in anime, which boiled down to a psycho activist talking about how it is a progressive space. She would prioritize calling on people, she would prioritize calling on people based off of their gender, then race,

and then sexual orientation. Mm. Effectively saying. You can't fully, I mean, somebody might say, you're getting that in the wrong order and then you could be canceled. Yeah. Oh yeah.

You're very careful about your hierarchies. Yeah. They're subject to change on like a daily basis. Is that right? Is this the hierarchy gender, then race, and then sexual orientation? I don't know about that. Well, trans identities at the top, right now.

Yeah, probably so. Trans is the top, and then race, right? Yeah, yeah. And then women. Yeah. And then men. No, women are above black people. As far as what you're supposed to, right now.

I know trans is on top. Yeah, I think so. You could probably convince me. This is very aside from that in any way. I need a ticker, like a stock ticker that has trans, Jews, blacks, and women. It's very fluid. It's very fluid.

Fat people are all the way at the bottom. It's under straight men, white men, I think. Okay. She'd prioritize calling on people based off their gender than race and sexual issues. Effectively saying, if you are a straight white or a man, you wouldn't get called. I didn't stay long, but the highlights was when she referred

to the staff member who was holding the mic as a good white boy. Jesus Christ. Oh wow. Later, she said, if you don't support trans women as women, you can leave, which was followed up with three people who left. The speaker called them out and I swear everyone in the room was out for blood after that. If you were been to a place where somebody said, if you don't think trans women are women, you can leave. No, no, no, no. You can just get out. No. I don't get why diversity is so hostile.

Well, because it's unnatural. Well, you have to force diversity. Nobody wants to hang around with people who don't look like them and who are not like them. It has to force them out of gunpoint. It has to force them out of gunpoint. I mean, like your natural inclination is to be wary of different.

Yeah, the kids, what keeps you alive, it's real down deep in your DNA. Now, being exposed to people who don't look like you overcomes that oftentimes. I mean, so we've been exposed, we've been exposing a race for a long time and it's not, it's fucking like oil and water. We just keep celebrating. Well, there's always, yeah, there's always some of that, but it's like

that's, you know, people who, you realize that they're not as different as your, as your gut would make you believe or your dish. So it's like that's where that kind of still don't want to hang around each other. I mean, it's, yeah, you black guys are all right. Okay, see, I'm going back to, you know, Well, it is, it is true that in the brain, black and white is more, I think more segregated. Well, but see, we're looking at it through the American filter too.

Like, I mean, I don't know that it's the same in all country. I don't wanna confuse it. It is. No, it's sweet in England either. Well, you know, I don't know about England. I don't know. I don't know. How don't know about England. I don't know. I don't know.

How's China doing with there? I don't know. What? But there's a miscellaneous. Yeah, yeah. I was miscellinated. But like, I think your more races are more likely to mix together except for black and white.

It seems like I think Mexicans are all like they don't mix either. But I mean, but like Mexican, but like, there can be different cultures existing. Like in a rich and white, no, but like within white populations, like it's more, it seems more mixed. But then like if it's black people, it's kind of like only black people in an area. Yeah. I don't know if I, like I don't know if I'm right on that.

I don't think so. It just seems like it's Mexican is fuck. There's not a bunch, there's no, there's no Mary Agi music in Beverly Hills. no Mary actually music and Beverly Hills. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but what I'm saying, but how many how many black people are in East LA? Not a lot. That's what I say. They all go to their own thing. That's what I mean. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. I don't think I'm articulating it well, but my point is diversity is violent because it has to be. Otherwise, people don't want to mix. They just don't enjoy it.

People, this goes back, people are, as like a survival mechanism, very conservative. Like, that's why you don't, and that, and that is, and lazy. There is something about that. I have to go meet a bunch of fucking new race. I, oh, what's this? Oh, what can I not say with you guys? Oh, God. I have so much energy left in my day

that I really want to go learn about your fucking culture. God, just put on the wire and leave me alone. Put on the wire. Diversity's for young people. They got all the energy in the world. Other people are like, I don't give a fuck about it. How does this help me? It doesn't.

It's true you do lose the energy. To, you lose the energy for learning something new that isn't going to benefit you. Yeah. To make your life more comfortable. Like you go, you know, that's great, but I don't have the energy. I've got bills, I've got a family,

I got to make sure it's just not as important to you. And there's nothing wrong with that. No. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. It's where you're at. Even in college, they're trying to get their own segregated spaces. The black people are like,

we don't want any fucking white people here. I'm like, yeah, why would you? They're painted, yeah, they're pains in your asses. Yeah. And they wanna go in and go like, oh, why's your hair like that? Ah. God, just keep them out for a little bit.

So we can eat cornstarch, like normal. I'll bet the, it's annoying. It's annoying too. It's annoying to embrace other cultures and it's annoying to have your culture embraced. Well, tell me something about your culture. Like, fuck off. I'm trying to, because it's like,

you don't really care, do you? Yeah. You just want to feel good. A lot of people do, It's got to be very annoying for a minority to have like a like a 25 year old white person really like. I want to really embrace your culture. I want to know everything about it. I want you know, I want to be an advocate. It's going to be really condescending right about you. Yeah. It's got to feel condescending. Japan has it.

They hate white guys coming in and like getting obsessed with their culture because they know. They're like, yeah, fuck you. It's not funny. It's not funny. We don't care. This doesn't help us.

I don't give a shit if you like our, whatever. Let's see. Malik says, Down syndrome equals fat. Is this more of the Barbie stuff? What? I don't care about Down syndrome equals fat. Is this more of the Barbie stuff? What? I don't care about Down syndrome Barbie. I'm surprised it took him this long to do it. Barbie with the...

Oh, they're saying the Down syndrome model is fat. Okay, well, she could... Wait, well, that hot Down syndrome girl, do you see that hot Down syndrome girl? I don't think so. Oh, okay, she did kind of mess up the game for all of them. Let me, let me pull this up. Oh, hot.

Oh, let's see here. Hot downs syndrome girl. No, it's not that one had like a fucking incredible body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not getting unmuted, you fucker. Maybe it was her. You know what, I think we've, I think you've had this up before.

It was her ass, hot, downs, syndrome, woman ass. Now, has she had eye surgery? I don't know. Because you know, like a lot of Asian women are get the eye surgery. Because she has like, you know, she doesn't have, because there is a, there is a look. Yeah. If somebody in chat has it, yeah, but there's one where you can just see her ass. Yeah. She kind of messed up the game for all, for the rest of Down syndrome women,

because now they're on, they're a beauty standard, just got, you know, kicked up to our realistic standards. And, unreal, quote unquote, unrealistic. Yeah. Well, I didn't know they could pull that off. So now, what's going on? I'm, I'm, I'm,

Jasmine Strenese is starting running some, I'm giving them, that's, they have, they've got an excuse though, that's, you know, it's, well, I don't know for how much longer. I don't know. Okay, do you wanna do, do you wanna do some voicemails? I don't know.

I've got enough for a fat watch today. Let me see, maybe I do. The thing about, I mean, Down syndrome is, it's so interesting because it, it really runs the, Down syndrome is, it's so interesting because it really runs the gamut. It's such a spectrum of how functional they can be. Yeah.

You know, like, there's not, I don't know that there's a lot of other conditions that are like that. I'm trying to think. No, you guys are posting the wrong pics. She was in like a track outfit. She's at, I swear, she's on a track, like a, like a, like a running track. Dr. Hopefully not a train track. Here is a, yes, this was it. Thank you. Okay. All right. See, look, Sean, look at her from behind. Yeah. Boom.

Wham and then turn around. Whoa, what in the, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What am I allowed to do here? What am I allowed to say? Turn back around, please. See, this girl changed the game for the rest of the downs in drum girls. Now we can do to them what we do to normal women,

which is bully them relentlessly. You're not barring the car. All right, Fat Watch, Bird says this guy fat tests in amusement park. Yeah, cool. Yeah, cool. Fat Watch, fat news. Fat, cool. Oh, that's watching. And fat-new, fat-tested travel. Plus size Disney buckle up and prepare for takeoff.

He says, I'm fat-testing Millennium Falcon smugglers run at Disneyland, California for plus size riders. Can all sizes join Han Solo and Chubaka on this epic mission? Join me as we navigate the galaxy's most famous ship and assets, SS seat comfort and accessibility for larger guests. Will everyone get to fly the Millennium? Yeah, this guy's got a good idea.

He really does. He really does. Like, that's a smart. It's smart. Let's see, let's listen to his thing. It's time to fat test Malay and how he's big. Oh, he's big. Oh, he's big.

Oh, he's big. Oh, he's big. Oh, he's big. Oh, he's big. Oh, he's big. Oh, he'say. Oh, he's big. He's running here in Disney Land. Oh yeah, he's big. Jason Mom with Fat Tested Travel. I'm 5'8", 350 pounds with a 54 inch waist. Testing rides all over the world, so you know what you can ride. I hope he makes a bunch of money at this. He's so. Not for anyone else. Sorry. Thanks Not for anyone else All right, dude, come on. Nice ride.

Give me the review. It wasn't supposed to crash. He was on a weight limit exceeded. That's a fat test. That's a fat test, okay. Well that's cool. See, you don't have to be a fat pain in the ass. You can do something with your life. Just like that's, he's actually,

like he's embracing who he is. Yeah, this is what you're providing a service. And not women, we have fallen downstairs and falling off cliffs and stuff. You know, you should be, I'm proud of who I am. I'm blah, blah, blah. No, you're a shame. Like I can see it.

Like I don't think this guy is ashamed. No, I think he actually is like, look at this, look what I'm doing with it. A fat, might as well figure out if I can sit on the shit, tell you guys let you know. Yeah. It's like the, you know, it's what's the Dave Letterman bit, you know, Will it float? Yeah. Right?

It's like Will it fit? Uh, all right. This was from Horatio. Horatio. Uh, I linked it wrong. Okay. from Horatio. Horatio. I linked it wrong. Okay, here's a, here's a fat watch for you. Let's see what these broads are doing. Is it, am I doing that?

No, no. Is it messed up for you? Audio's just not working. Yeah. Okay, well, that didn't work. All right, let's try this one. IHM sends me one from Boogie. Had to practice getting hit.

Oh, Boogie is fighting another fat guy, I think, in boxing. That's Boogie. Yeah. So Boogie is taking the lightest punches in the world that I've ever seen. What he tells the word is gonna fit him to. Ha ha ha.

He's getting punched in the stomach kind of hard. Yeah. Look at this. Boof. Boof. Yeah. Yeah. This one.

There you go. Right on the one. The one. Okay, well. Yeah, I think that's the best. Yeah, that looks pretty good. Good form that you have there. I think bookie is fighting another fat guy. Really?

In a boxing match. There's a lot of, a lot of fucking boxing. A lot of boxing on the internet. Yeah, because it's, it's an easy way to make content. Like you don't really have to do anything but talk about your boxing. Yeah, I guess. All right, last one for today. Let's see what this is.

This is from Hunter. Well, the world are plus size. That's roughly 13% of the population. And yet, many airlines still don't have clear policies in place to accommodate plus size passengers. That's why I've started a petition calling on the FAA to require every airline to have a clear customer size policy in place for plus-size passengers. No one should have to endure to discomfort, embarrassment, and discrimination.

That often comes with being a plus-size passenger trying to navigate air travel. By signing this petition, you can help us demand that airlines take concrete steps to make air travel more inclusive and accommodating for all passengers. Whether your plus-size or not, everybody deserves to be treated with dignity or respect when they fly. Let's work together to make sure that the travel industry serves everyone, not just the select field. Sign and share this petition and let's make a difference. Did you know that more than one of them? All right. They have to have a clear size policy. That's the issue that airlines...

Yeah, I don't know exactly what she wants. Does she want attention? Larger seats? Does she want to? No, I think she just wanted a policy. So they have to go like, well, if you don't fit in the plane, then you can't fly. Yeah. Right, if you can't, if you can't fit in a row, they can't, you can't fly.

Right. Like if you, if you get hungry while waiting to board, you can't, all right to policy. Yeah, like to check with this. Just like a fox worthy. Yeah, you know, like yeah. Yeah. Right, airlines, you know what I'll write it?

I'll post it, you use it. There you go. No problem. You don't even have to pay me for it. Just, give it, just, just direct them to my website. Perfect. Fly fat too fat to fly. Mmm. Good. Dot fat dot gay.

Too fat to fly is that's a catchy name too. Too fat to fly. Yeah, too fat to fly. Yeah. If you are, uh, if you are, if what you're wearing doubles as an escape slide, Yeah, you're too fat to fly. Right. It is just gonna be Jeff Foxworthy. If you can fill in for the emergency exit door that blew off at 35,000 feet. Yeah, you're too fat to fly. If you have any warm food in your luggage, you are too fat to fly.

Yeah. Damn it. I should have come up with one head. You're slipping up. All right, everybody, it's been the Dixho page on our website. It's Dixho, Patreon.com slash Dix, I see you next Tuesday.

Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Ready.

Hey, yo, what's up? I got a message or a some hygiene help for the lady with the big Uh uh uh. Hey, yo, I got a message or a through hygiene help for the lady with the big fat belly. Okay. All right. There's a lady. You grab one of those T3 cloths that you're talking about,

and you bring it up by your mouth, and then you fucking knock all the fucking food away from it. Oh, hello. Good advice. Yeah, I guess. Get direct to the source source the direct to the cause. That's a thing I like it we treat you know, we treat symptoms too much, you know, that's right You're right. That's a good point Okay, let's try let's try this one on for size

Hey, hey Sean, Joe, he's deep deep. Budweiser needs to hire me for their ad campaign right fucking now. Exactly what I do. I would tell everybody, hey, we fired Dylan. Very sorry. Listen, we're listening to you, loyal customers, right? We hate getting it all that fucking money back. The whole time fucking paying her every month to keep his mouth shut. And then right after the

fourth of July come out with a red, white, and blue, killer, moping me. Like I said, just kidding. You're getting your fuckers free speech bitch. It's getting everybody by in the mirror. Whoa. And it would, oh God, it would be so fucking beautiful. Yeah. See you next Tuesday. They should send Tim Poole, his own can, and say, here you fucking cry, baby. Yeah. Is your boycott over yet? Oh, God.

Here's your fucking can, bro. Yeah. You're important. You're just as important to us. Sure. Here, you want us to send us an article. We'll put it on our fridge. Here you go. Hello. Sure here you want us to send us an article we'll put it on our fridge Hello

Oh, yeah, I have this pet lesbian. Oh That works for me and she was unspooling a she was getting a piece of double-sided tape Okay, you know the fuck it has a paper over it it doubles out of the East of underneath She peeled just the paper part off So that the adhesive was exposed and then I see over there fucking unspooling the whole roll of tape slowly I went and asked the fuck she's doing it. She said it's it's all messed up. Yeah, the sticky side is on top I must have come like that This is all messed up. Yeah, the sticky side is on top. It must have come like that.

It's effective. It's effective. The good side where it has the good tape. Oh, boy. This tape is defective. Yeah. It's two sided tape. Yeah, it's all messed up. Yeah. I don't know why.

I'm just gonna undo the whole thing and see if that helps. Right, we'll have to put up with the sticky side on top and I wanna get to the good, the good, the virgin stick. Yeah, yeah, I gotta get the good stuff at the bottom. And then once you undo the whole thing, then it starts going back the other way. Right, it's by design.

Okay, here we go. Hey, Dick, my set of shoes, a guy wrote in talking about how he couldn't buy beer with his son. I went to a grocery store and a kid that he was 19 was with me. I was buying alcohol and the stupid bastard didn't stay in the car. Even though I fucking coned him too. But when I got to the register, I just sort of screaming like an asshole to give me the manager and fucking you, I'm 21, I could just get and just make a complete asshole out of myself and they filled it to me. So, the advice that I got. Nice. Just act like a fucking asshole. You're supposed to be.

Well, why not? Why not? What have you got to lose? They're not gonna give it to you anyway. You might as well scream at the wall. They did give it to him. Right. Right.

You never know. Okay, let's try, uh, let's try, uh, oh, let's try this one. Hey, dick, it's Peter Anz and Colin try this they get it to be around the corner it's what it's that you don't have to feel bad about shitting on me for being a rock climber uh... everything is that is totally true it is a whole personality we do have to learn everybody would be to come

try it climate a guy named rob that i met a live show just because he was there uh... but don't worry because you're also right here with you fat for it so i'll never have a uh. That's funny. I mean, you got to, people do have some self-awareness and those things. It's like they get, you know, they talk about, you know, they get, it's like that adrenaline rush that you get from, you know, more from certain things than others than I think they really like. So, yeah, some things lend themselves more to being that real, you know, what do you call it to, you know, where you're, you really want to preach the, the wonders of things. You really want, yeah, yeah, you want other people to experience with you and get into your cult. It is fun. I went rock climbing

with my, um, God, I don't know if 80s girls, if we were dating. I went rock climbing in, we were on vacation I'm with my sister and my husband. And I spent the whole time just trying to freak my sister out while she was doing it. I was like, you're up so fucking high. Oh my God, you are way, and she was up like three feet. Really?

As you start freaking it out. Yeah, I totally ruined it. Oh God. That's great. So, if you make a single mistake, you are falling. Right. Cripple, neck broken. Yeah, like, yeah.

Like, stand standing at where her head is. Right, like, not, uh, it is funny how when you look down, you, it seems like a lot bigger drop than where the height you're actually at. Yeah. You're jumping off a rock into a body of water or something like that. And you see other people do it. You're like, oh, you're like, you're like 12 feet up. Yeah.

It looks like 30. Yeah. What do you stand in there? Uh, all right. How about this one? I'm Dick. There's Sean. Hey, uh, what makes me rate your people that care about shit too much?

Yeah. Like why, why, why do you fucking care about like, why do that care about shit too much. Like why do you fucking care about like game here? Why do you care about anything that has no effect on you? You know what I care about? The fact that one of my friends killed themselves. You know what I also care about? The micro-frenchated on me. So I actually get that one.

No, you know what it really made me mad? If somebody came and took my gun, that actually fucking affects me. Yeah. I don't want somebody taking my fucking knife done I spent a lot of fucking money on a rifle uh-huh I do not want some pencil dick fuck to come and take my gun because of the fact that it could be used to hurt somebody the only thing I do with it is I just shoot fucking targets in competition that's nothing wrong with it about anything else in my life

And I heard somebody they had a coming well, it's like I've already I've gotten fucked over a couple of ways Just let me have my sanity I get it dude. I get it. Oh totally Hey, dude, you fucking asshole? I'm shot. Not bad boy. You can mail about finances. It's usually used to be something that was like a big gateway to engineering, if that makes

kind of sense. You know, something that would figure out truths about complex systems in order to, in order to reveal something that may not be obvious and it seems like a lot of the shit now is just like bullshit, if that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't matter and it's stupid. I don't know what he said. I think about it. Anyway, um, I'm like, do you guys let it come back? Yeah. Um, well social science is like,

it's smooches. Yeah, it smooches you fuck. Uh, social science is like, worthless. Well, it's easy. Only 25% of social science experiments can be replicated. Well, that's, that's like, well, that's worthless. There's so many variables. That's what's so difficult about it.

Yeah. It's kind of not science. It's not. Because it's not testable in the way that hard science is. And then there's, there's gonna go up to the rules. And, you know, yeah. In general, there's a replication crisis. Like in general, in science, I think it's like,

people just aren't submitting experiments that can be replicated and no one is trying to replicate them. So a lot of journals, you can pay for fucking, you know what I mean? Like you gotta be careful what journals you're reading too. Because it's like, they're not, the peer review process, sometimes is just a mere formality, like a stamp. Yeah, it came across my desk. Yeah, it's really there's there's a lot of You know, I don't know what you want

Not compensations, but yeah, I'm losing the word, but yeah, it's There's a lot of there's a lot of cheating going on for you got to parse through the bullshit and who's yeah Who's reputable and and then there's like Neil like Lex Friedman and Neil the grass Tyson They're just like they need more dumb they all they can only explain dumb things because their audience is dumb people He's a pop science shit, like, yeah. So it's always like flying cars. And oh yeah, it's like a robot. Right, right. Yeah, you're just like describing the Jetsons. Yeah, you're not talking about science.

You're just like saying a cartoon that happened. Yeah, but then you have, you've got all this A-I-Shit, which has been going on, which has been being developed forever, and now there's just this sudden Cambrian explosion of models and development on it. But it's been happening forever. It's just only interesting right now. It only got interesting right now. So it's still happening.

It's just waiting through all this crap is, I mean, it's not an entertainment. It's not entertainment. That's right. I guess that's the issue that is happening. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, two more maybe Hey, okay Sean. Hey, today my rage is female manifest destiny. Mm-hmm. There are your girlfriends suddenly Think that if we move to another state Everything's gonna change or if we just move to this city, shit's gonna be different

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because oh, just one friend that lives here and one friend that lives there. And then doing this and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, I'm just like, hey, can we just get our shirt together and then move out and then we can live like kind of close to my job for like a year or two and then figure something out. We're not going to. We mean. I just feel myself doing that.

What the fuck do you mean? You mean? You feel like not the Pennsylvania. And then I got to have less money for the exact same thing that I'm doing. Yeah. We'll be fucking kind of okay for like a little bit. Just like dude, I. It's so stupid.

You can't even negotiate because they just have it in their head like. Well, I don't see myself doing that. In the city and she has a good and river, river, river, and you want to be close to my friend. Fucking fuck dude. They're fucking friends. Yeah. Somebody's got to make me, I think that really, I mean, the best reason to move around, it would be something financial is not to be close to your friends. Yeah, it's like, you know, it would be something financial. It's not to be close to your friends.

Yeah, it's weird. Can you make your life objectively better in another area or whatever? It's like, we're of like, my brother moved many states away because it was a great job opportunity. Otherwise, he'd probably still be in Southern California where we're all from. Yeah, I can't see myself doing that. Women love that line. I just can't see myself. I can't see myself in that. What do you try harder? Right. You mean you can't

how? You mean because your life hasn't gone exactly like that, that idea that you had when you were like eight that like this. This is kind of how things were going to go. And it's just like, can you see yourself having this conversation that we're having? Yeah. How far do your power is extend exactly into that? I don't know. I just can't see myself as a, huh? It's always struck me as kind of an odd thing to say. Could you imagine a version of yourself that could see it? It's like, women, I mean, women is just like a broken AI. Like you always got to ask them a different version of the same shit to get them to give you a response that's remotely usable.

Okay, last one. Oh, here's a Ralph on this, oughta be good. Oh, boy. So Ralph moved into your basement and just streamed from there 24-7 now. That was the best show he's ever done. The fuck it says. Wow.

He asked me the next day. He's like, I streamed too. I don't remember any of that. I was like, yeah. He doesn't remember streaming. I said, yeah, it wasn't very good. He goes, yeah, that's what people are saying. This guy liked it.

He liked it. Hey. Somebody was mad at me because of this, because the gun is back here. Why? It's been back there for a while. They were in a business. They were like, oh, I can't believe Jake would let Ralph in there.

And there's a shotgun. Like Ralph wasn't in a condition to work a chair. I know he's in a first of all against fake. But if it wasn't, I'm thinking I'm like, there's, there's like a thousand things you can use to kill yourself in the house. Like there's kitchen knives, like what in your mind would make you think that Ralph's gonna buddwey her himself on and that I could stop it. Right. I can, there's, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Who, I think Arty Lang tried to kill himself with a knife through his chest and stabbed himself like Whatever People are very invested in Ralph's life. Yeah, he's creating some incredible content Well, that's they don't want him to go away because they're you know the soap opera ends I guess Yeah, then it doesn't really for their it is quite a sick entertain It is quite a soap opera, a woman leaving absconding

with her child while you're away dealing with another, another, like restraining order case with another woman. I hope Ralph figures out whatever he needs to do or wants to do, like, yeah, me too. Yeah, just, I mean, just, you know, it's, I feel like I give the same advice to everybody. Well, just if you want to do less, if you want to do less drinking, do less. Probably a good idea. You've got to figure out almost every way.

You've got to almost never do more. Yeah, almost a couple times, but usually it's well-do less, dream glass. Sure. And then when you've done that, figure out what you want. Yeah, yeah. You got to start out really important, either way. That's, you know, it's your deal. Okay, everybody. All right. Thanks for listening.

Have a good show. Thank you. you