The Dick Show - Episode 368 - Dick on The Umbrella Man

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

I give away a box spring, an MMF thrupple, Adam22 does some things, cops and meth exposure, Nick Rekieta calls in about The Umbrella Man, Jim Caviezel is insane, my dog is too fat, who is repaying their student loans, not teaching math, the new Italian groping law, and a gender surgery whoopsie; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

God, I've been talking about Christ the Kiwi all week. I can't get enough of that guy. No, he was really, he's really leaned into his, his role, hasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he's just, you know, he's got it all figured out. He has a female roommate. That's what's to date.

It's blowing my mind. He's more mature than me. I could never be in a position like that. No, me neither. Living with a former girlfriend, but Chris the Kiwi, it's no problem for him. I've got to talk to her. Yeah.

We have to talk to her. God damn it, I get this fucking thing. And he's got to be gone. You know, my favorite part about him is that the government pays him disability that he then uses to pay for hookers. Yeah. So instead of the government just giving women a UBI, they have, they give it to Chris

the Kiwi so he can give it to them, but they have to fuck him first. Right. What a terrific system. Yeah. Can we, can we get some, can we eat over here? Whatever, what's the accent? Oh, I'm probably minister. Quick at some food over here. Yeah, but you got to fuck this guy first. Then we'll, then we'll see, then you could get about 300 bucks. Right. We got to fuck him a couple times. We're not going to get it all. Yeah. We could

give you all of it, or you could get less and have to fuck this guy. You guys work it out amongst yourselves. We got bigger stuff to do. Right. Right. Right. Right. We can't figure out how to pay you horse. We're going to put it. We're going to leave our expert in charge of it. Because the key we over is. There is. Yeah. You're going to work for it. Or you've got to work for it. I wish our system worked like texting is just the beginning. All right, guys, we got we got good news. Black people. Those reparations are coming. That's the good news. The bad news is all of you have to fuck Chris the key we to get them. He can get it up again and again. That's his favorite thing is coming twice with a hooker, which I cannot. That's the most bizarre part about him to me, right? The needing to come to wanting to ability, even it crossing your mind.

Yeah, okay. Right. Right. That's the real scary part to me. That's why we got to lock him up. Do I hear that fan? I don't know. There we go.

All right. Should we start the show? I don't care. Got more bad news. That's the rock team song hold on What is that the biggest the biggest problem theme song? Give my shows mixed up. Yeah, any problems you want to bring in today sure Okay, all right

God that was a bad one. I'm a dick, you are a dick, you need a dick, you love dick, you've got it. It's the show where it's a contest, give you a live amount of bunk of deep in the heart of city failure in your house. Dick Masterson, AK, the $20 million man, joining me is always his world touring. LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello, dick. What's that, buddy?

Hey, real quick. Yeah, what? You know, there's, what do you got to surprise for me? No, no, no, no, we've gotten, you know, we've gotten some new listeners, I think, with the new streaming and stuff like that. I've been asked like a couple times. So I got a, I got to clarify. Like, I'm not a comedian. What do you mean? Who said you were? People read like, do you do shows like where do you? They want to go see you at the ice house. There's something.

I appreciate it. Oh, man. I'm not a comedian. How much money do you take for you to do that? I never will be. Oh, come on. I have no desire to do it. I just know how to zig and zag when dick zig zig zig zig.

That's it. No, you have to now. You have to do a type five at the ice house. That was funny. I thought it was funny. At the comedy store. I thought it was funny. Are people asking for your Instagram,

hey, what are your dates, man? Do you tour with Ryan Long? Do you guys go on tour together? Just talk about things like, hey, I don't know. When do you do it anymore? Do you do that kind of stuff? I appreciate the interest. Oh God, not a lot of people.

I'm wearing LA based comedian. I was called that in a lawsuit. You were? Is that where that came from? I believe so. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I'm from land out. I think so when they got it. Well, I wasn't sued. I did make it in there. You made it in all day. You made it in all day. And they call you LA based comedian. I'm pretty sure. Sean, the audio engineer, that's just a, why does this, why does this comedian go by the

audio engineer? Are you sure he's not an audio engineer? No, that's like Brutus the barber beef cake or whatever. He is not a real barber. Right. He's a wrestler. Okay, don't be stupid, stupid. Well, you know, you see him doing any engineering on that show?

No, right, right, making fun of fat women. Yeah. Yeah, it's more likely I'm a comedian. I guess you are. All right. Come on, you could just go up on stage and just read Stephen Wright jokes or Karlin jokes. Yeah, after every joke go, if I tell you, he was right about that.

Right. And that's your bid. Yes. That would be a funny stand up. Kind of a Sam Hyde style stand up. Is that a Sam Hyde style? Well, he just, a little bit different. I think he gets up reads, crime statistics.

I think that was one of his bits. Oh, different. Well, I like it. Oh, but not true is that. How some comedians are combative with the audience? Yeah, you like that. I mean, sometimes it's the right person, it works. Yeah.

I love that, crowd works. Yeah, yeah. It's funny. Okay, you distracted me by making sure to start the show by telling everyone you're not a comedian, right? What a great intro. It just hit me in the moment when he said, it was the way you said, world touring, you know, and you really kind of punched it up. And I went, okay, all the cozy kids. Wow, this guy's based. I've never heard a comedian say this much based stuff

about race and stuff. Wow, where can I find this guy? He must be canceled. Yeah, right? Yeah, he is. I think I smoked too many cigarettes last night. Oh, really? We're getting over.

Just drinking too much. I thought I was going to see another drag show, but it turned out to be a burlesque show. So I got so confused, you know, I had to start drinking right away. Tell, yeah, tell you're clear. And then I get sucked into these conversations about, oh, where do you live?

Oh, where do you go to dinner? Oh, what do you do? And it's just like, I don't know why, but at this point in my life, I just start sweating when I start having these conversations. Go, where do you eat over there? I'm like, fuck, and I don't know, man. I don't know.

I can't tell you. What do you eat? Where do you go to dinner over there? I honestly don't know. I couldn't name a single restaurant, and now I feel like I've been lying to you about it. Can you stop asking me about this stuff? The thing about,

can we talk about trans kid surgeries or something? I know all about that. The thing that people should understand is that in LA, nobody cares even a little bit about the answers to any of those questions. That is literally just people talking back and forth to people. It's a faux politeness and a faux interest.

That everybody's like aggressive with them. Who is this guy? I don't know, this fucking guy. It was driving me nuts last night. What do you do? What do you live? What kind of stuff do you eat over there? What do you do there?

What do you say? How much do you do to do the waitress? I'm like, God, what are you like a fucking alien? Trying to figure out what you're supposed to be acting like here? Fucking stop. Maybe. Maybe. Make some comments or something. I feel like I'm a check on Tinder right now. This girlfriend came over to the same fucking thing. Oh wow. Oh yeah, I mean my boyfriend go there and I'm like who's your boyfriend? She goes, that guy is I fucking do it. Get out of here. Both of you guys

go interrogate each other. Fuck. Leave me alone. I look, you're making me look like shit, all right? I shaved everything so I could look younger. Now I don't know, and now I don't know if you think that I'm a young guy, but I'm not. I don't have time for these kinds of conversations at this age. Right, yes. Got a limited time.

Do I look like Robocop shaved like this? Robocop. Yeah, with his hair, Nick Verkides said, I look like Robocop shaved like this? Robo cop. Yeah, with his hair, the Nick Vikiti said, I look like Robo cop, because my forehead goes so high up, you see? And I'm always shaved now, like Murphy. Robo cop, like that better roll. You're coming with it.

Peter Roller, that. Good that front roll away from me. Ah. Right? Ah, I'll lift you out. I don't see it. Second dog. Bada, bada, bada.

Shoot the dick right off your dog. You don't see it? I don't see it. We make sure shoot the dick right off your dog. You don't see it? I don't see it. Let me make sure we're live. Oh yeah, I know. We're not on cozy. Just on Vimeo. I paid for a Vimeo streaming account.

Yeah, well, hopefully that sticks around for, you know, for the better part of this year. Yeah, right? Look at this coaster. Every time I've been using this coaster for two years, look at it. It's fucking canoed. Totally, I've tried to get it wet and flatten it out and never works. But look what it says on it. Was the cure for cancer covered up?

It says. Huh. How about we go back to a day where stuff like that was the craziest conspiracy that you'd run across? Oh, I know. Right. Right. Not this monsters incorporated, let's scare children and milk their brains for goo that makes you young forever.

Right. How about just they hid the cure for cancer? Yeah. Well, the internet, you know, it's the craziest shit's gonna fucking propagate. Ah, we have a new bonus episode up at patreon.com slash Dick show. Right.

Can't say that was the best bonus episode ever. Really? I think it's because we read that. What was so great about it? Oh, yeah. Right. It's like, it's the greatest one ever. You're reading this lawyer document.

Yeah. Wow. That's a bad shit. That's a, you know, there's no way I can be objective with as many bonus episodes and stuff as we got. Like I, because I'm sure it, I always read them by how good a time I had. Okay. So it's like it.

I don't know. It's a much more personal scale for you. What's all I can do is like, I can't control whether somebody else enjoys it or not. I just, just whether I think it's good or not. Yeah. And like, I think most of them are pretty good. Okay, that's pretty good.

I think we do a pretty good show. Pretty good. Better than I, Sam, would you say? Yes. How many I-SOMs out of 10? Would you give that bonus episode? Well, I mean, if you're giving I-SOMs, that seems like a negative.

How many I-SOMs would you give to charity for that bonus episode? How many out of 1200? I-SOMs away from charity, so nobody accidentally runs into it. The doctor told me that my dog is too fat. Maybe Stan U. Labogo. Yeah. Kevin Landau's girlfriend is right to call animal services on me. Your dog is on Twitter still threatening it. You're using my real name. Yeah, I know. I hate that shit. Like, yeah, I know what my name is. Okay. It's like, like, she's uncovering some dark secret

of like, oh my god, I broke this wide open. I'm on video every week, you dumb bitch. You think it's difficult to connect me with the shit that I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, no, people gonna know, I have a huge successful comedy podcast, holy shit. Yeah.

Take that shit back to Ethiopia or whatever, you're from. Google, blah, blah. I think that shit back to Ethiopia or whatever you're from Google Bob. I think the second is African baby talk. Yeah, we got called boo boo. She's a surprise. Right? I mean, I don't know. She looks like that.

What were those guys? Mark Clarers from South Park. She looks like Starvin Marvin. Oh, it's all I'm saying. Got it. I forgot about that. Bug were those guys? Mark Klaars from South Park. She looks like Starvin Marvin. Oh, it's all I'm saying. God, I forgot about that. Bucky mop. They're talking old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That dumb bitch is on Twitter threatening to take my dog away, using my real name. I feel like I can hate the real name people. Still with the dog. Yeah, you know, I don't know. Is that the, that's the big. Yeah. Wow. Really going to take that dog away.

What did she think is going to? What the hell kind of threat is that? What did she think is going to happen? Like the authorities are going to, well, we better investigate this right away. Well, she might be right. Because the doctor said that no, she is 20, she needs to lose 20% of her.

I guess we have the vet equivalent of doctor now. Doctor now. From my 1600, my 600 pound life. You ever seen that show? Yeah, this guy sits these bitches down and says like, you're too fat, you eat too much, you've got to stop eating. Right.

You're lying, you could've lost 30 pounds by now. He doesn't, he doesn't take any bullshit. None at all. Yeah, so it gets away with it because of that voice, that accent. Yeah. Same thing with this guy. He's got a Vietnamese voice, he's on things, he's like because of that voice, that accent. Yeah. Same thing with this guy. He's got a Vietnamese voice, some things.

He's like, you're a dog too fat. Yeah. You need to lose 20% of body weight. You see like a show alone? You see that show? I'm like, what the fuck does alone have? I know how losing weight works. I'm not, I'm a skinny guy, okay?

You have to explain the process because you know that show alone. Like, yeah. The hill's alone. Alone, yeah. The hills alone. Alone where they stick people on an island and don't give them any food. Oh, that's just survive. That's just survive for like, oh, 50 days. It's called, yeah. Yeah, he goes, yeah, that's show.

They lose weight on that show because they're not eating. Okay, thanks for the help, Doc. Mine blown. That's a fucking mind blowing. Is that extra? Yeah. If I go to a real doctor, am I going to get a better explanation? Weight loss explanation than that.

Yeah. Oh, go watch alone. Mm-hmm. So I did go watch alone. You did. Did I make you want to eat? Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Yeah, I did. The dogs in a weight loss contest with Vito, I guess. Boy. They both have to lose the same amount of weight. Didn't Vito already blow it? Yeah, he gets three strikes though. Oh my God, he gets to miss two more. Wow.

And six months. And it's got to be how many pounds in 60, 30 pounds in six months? Mm-hmm. I mean, he or or what's if he doesn't, uh, then you have to kiss him. What's the penalty? That that's bad enough for, I mean, he or what's if he doesn't, then you have to kiss him. What's the penalty? That's bad enough for, I mean, it's, that's bad enough. Get on it, Vito.

Yeah. I try to give a box spring mattress away that we had here. Yeah. My girlfriend put a, you just put it out on the curb. No, I wanted to do it nice and not destroy it. So I put it up on this like give away site. Oh, got it.

And this guy, it's like, oh yeah, is it... Oh, this is a really big help for me because of the writer's strike. I can't afford a box spring mattress. I'm like, all right, well, it's still free. I don't, he's like, oh, could you, do you think you could deliver it? No. It's okay. So then he comes over and I'm like, all right, well, it's still free. I don't, he's like, oh, could you, do you think you could deliver it? No.

It's okay. So then he comes over and I'm like, well, here it is. Go ahead and take it. And he's like, hmm, you said this is a, you're a non-smoker, right? And he's like leaning down and sniffing it. I think what the fuck are you, what is your problem? This can only be a white guy.

Yeah, the Mexican way this happens with anyone else. I've given away so much stuff to Mexicans. Yeah, and they'll just come and take the whole thing. They won't even take the whole thing sometimes. I'm like, wait, you fucking forgot the wheel to that thing that you are taking. I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm crossing. He's got this guy's knocking it like a watermelon.

As he's going around and like test it's it's blood. Yeah, yeah, he's picking them up and then a whole food. It's but brand new and I'm bell in a whole foods it's fucking brand new yeah for free right okay there you go yeah thanks uh you're not smoke you're right I'm totally can you fucking smell any smoke dude yeah what do you mean am I a non smoke you think I'm smoking in bed blowing it into the fucking mattress you didn't think to ask that before you

hmm he's bending down, sniffing it. What the fuck kind of behavior is this? I'm glad you guys aren't getting that raise now. Fuck you. How did you write this in your story? You're fucking weirdo. That's weird. Dear Craigslist, here's a weird fuck

that came into my house, sniffing my mattress. I know, that's right. And he's knocking, he's finding like the joists, you know, the box spring has the wood. The wood cross. That's right, yeah, yeah. And he's knocking, he's finding like the joists, you know, the, the box spring has the wood. The process. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, he's like knocking them. He's going down and knocking them one by one.

Like, why would Jackass? Why would I give away a broken box spring? Get out of my fucking house. Get the hell out of here. Would you ever heard that saying, don't look a gift horse in the fucking mouth? This is a gift horse. Get the fuck out.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't ask one of your writer buddies what that means. You're not a stupid fuck. don't look a gift horse in the fucking mouth. This is a gift to Horde, get the fuck out. Yeah, yeah. It's like, ask one of your writer buddies what that means. You're not, you're not, you're not paying for it. Even then, did he take it? Yeah, thank God. It's like, are you fucking kidding me? Get out of here.

Go back to, go back to Petta Wood. You know these motherfuckers really this thing Hollywood is just full of pedophiles. I know. I know. Okay. You stupid hicks. You all actually believe this, don't you? Yeah, it's just all industry running on fucking pedophilia. I mean, you know, that's why everyone gets into it.

Yeah. I sure would love to go to Hollywood and become a pedophile. Right. Okay. So you're spending a lot of time making movies. I think there's certainly, you know, people who take advantage of other people in Hollywood, but I guess that's probably similar to, you know, yeah, similar to anything else, like

sports to a lot of high high school coaches. Yeah, similar to anything else like sports to a lot of high high school at coaches. Yeah, right college high school Yeah, it's a fucking annoying Yeah, I might see it. I'm gonna go back to California California. He's fucking great. Honestly this shit I there's I can go on a Wednesday and see some of the funniest people in the world Performing two miles away from my fucking house. What can you do in Kansas City? Shithead. You got to wait 10 years for guns and roses to go through fucking town. Yeah, I mean, it's you're going to Vegas to see Carrotop and then going fucking home. I live here. Yeah, it's the coast with giant cities. So you get you get everybody. So as far as entertainment, all that kind of shit,

yeah, you're not your you, you can pick and choose and... Can't have all the guns you want in Cali Newly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck off. Only in LA can be like, oh man, this is like my favorite band coming to town and it's like, oh man, I was hoping they'd play the Greek. I don't want to see them at the ball. I don't want to see them at the ball.

You know, like that's, yeah. I don't like sitting on the concrete there. Yeah, and that's giant world famous auditorium. That's kind of, that is kind of like that. Okay, I'll be boring you. Yeah, I'll be boring you. I don't like sitting on the concrete there. Yeah, and that's giant world famous auditorium. That's kind of that is kind of I Yeah, I don't want to actually go to the world The fucking problem with if I just had to pay California taxes, it'd be fucking great. We 10% of my money. Well awesome It's only bad because it's someone else you guys are taking the first 50 Someone asked me if, you know,

there was, there was a time when I only had good feelings thinking about Ukraine. Yeah. Just big women with giant tits. Yeah, right. Male order brides. Yeah, who couldn't talk so good. Sure.

You know, right? That's a good dream girl for you. Hot accent on a woman where, see women like men with the British accent, because they use so many words, you talk so much. And my favorite kind of accent on a woman is the can't talk no good accent. Right? I just learning, just permanently learning English, like the Eastern European accent. There was a time where I would just have good feelings about that area, but now it's just thoughts of arguing online. Yes.

Well, you can't have nice things. No, I really can't. I wish I could go back to those days. Yeah. I think a lot of people do. Yeah. I forget why I even brought that up. Something with something with Putin. Oh, let's see here.

What did I actually bring in today? Yeah, oh, repaying student loans. Okay, let's check this out. Let's see who's repaying student loans. Oh, yeah, the taxes. That's why I brought it up. Somebody I was asking if I would be singing the same story about Russia, if they invaded the US, like, are you fucking kidding me?

You think if Russia invaded Washington, D.C., to let Texas out of the US, what I would think about that, if you don't think my answer is I fucking hope every country invades Washington, D.C., Washington, D.C. Yeah, that lets all of the states get away from the what I would think about that. If you don't think my answer is I fucking hope every country invades Washington DC. Washington DC. Yeah, let's all of the states get away from the US government. Because I fucking hate the US government and it cost me a fucking fortune.

So that would be fucking tremendous. We can build our own fucking roads. I already know the companies that do it. They all live here and are incorporated here. You fucking idiots. So why do I need those guys to do anything? Well, they're, well, they just siphon our money off.

Yeah. Uh, well, Dick, you would feel differently if they were invading the US. Really? I don't know. Well, I mean, you're setting the air. They invading me. Right, right, right.

I don't think so. I don't have very much stuff. If they keep it to DC, fantastic. Go for it. There's a lot of paths to D,. If they keep it to DC, fantastic. Go for it. There's a lot of paths to D, that ocean is very close to DC. That's okay. It's going from LA to DC. No, that's so a lot of gas.

Yeah. We're gonna go right there. Maybe they'll come up through, you know, maybe they'll go around the Panama Canal, go up through Texas. I can't believe it. It annoys me that people pretend that that's not my position on it. Here's a huge difference.

Look at this, Sean. There's a huge difference in the rate at which men and women repay student loans. Look at this graph of student loan repaying. This is percentage. Should I have the whole thing up there? No, let me try to back it off a little bit. What am I looking at here? This is the percentage of people repaying their student loans.

Yeah. This is the percentage of the original loan that's left. Okay. So here's the loan was given out. Oh, I see. And then here's how much they're paying the loan down. So here is the men paying the loan down. Yeah.

See it goes up a little bit and then the men are slowly slaving away. Right. Going, killing their souls. That's the day. That's the day, yeah, to hang down their debts. Okay, there you go.

Repayment pause didn't do anything. Keep going, hang down the debts until you're fucking dead, right? Right. Now here's the women getting the loan, goes up and up and, huh, go to Starbucks. I got to treat myself for walking to Starbucks. I'll get a Frappuccino. Oh, I really need to buy some new, I need to buy a new entire wardrobe and then take brand new clothes to crossroads and try to sell them, wait in line for four hours shopping on

Amazon before I see if they buy my old shit. Oh, my friends are a time for another bachelor at party. Here I go. $700 trip to Palm Springs. Oh, all right. And that you'll notice while I'm narrating women's decisions that the loan amount never goes down. Yeah. Yeah. Until finally, to finally buy 10 more than 10 years later. That's when it starts going down. 10 years after the loan is given, they marry a guy and he starts paying their fucking loan too. You know, that's probably what's happening very well, maybe,

it very well, maybe, because that's about the timing. Yeah, they have kids. They finally dipped under 100% of dead owed. So remember this graph. Next time they bring up repaying the canceling student loans, who I remember who you're working for. Very good, that's funny. Pretty funny.

Yeah, pretty funny stuff. Oh, here's another new story that I have. Cambridge public school is eliminated, advanced math in middle school, with the aim of reducing disparities between low income children of color. They're calling them children of color now. I don't think that's, shouldn't it be children of people of color or child, you can't say children of color.

That's not as good as people of color. child, you can't say children of color. That's not as good as people of color. Yeah, I guess. You know, people of color, okay. Children of color is like a band. Like a 80s, or it sounds like rock band. It sounds like an anomaly. It sounds like their parents might be something else. Yeah.

Like they just kind of came out and it's like, oh, he's, you know, like he's autistic or he's like, you know, that's like like a puzzle piece is like the multi-color puzzle piece. Like there was no, like there was no like chain that, you know, logical chain that followed is like, oh, the children of color. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. It sounds like people of color, but children, right? Yeah. Ah, I don't think, I don't think you could, you're allowed to do that. You definitely cannot say colored children. Oh, okay.

Well, yeah, I guess not. Um, between low income children of color and they're more affluent peers. But some families and educators argue that it has had the opposite effect. Well, yeah, no shit. Well, it's, why would you not teach math? Because black kids are gonna be not learning math.

So now nobody gets to learn math. Isn't that kind of racist, too? It's very fucking racist. What are you saying? It's racist, Steven. What are you saying? What are you saying? What are you saying?

You couldn't just like not teach something else and teach a math a little bit harder? I know black people can learn math. Pretty sure. Yeah. You couldn't just like not teach something else and teach a math a little bit harder? I know black people can learn math. Pretty sure. Yeah. Oh, I gotta pay wall this shit. Oh no, okay.

Cambridge schools are divided. Yeah, I wonder is it a math pun in that? Is it like a pine craster? Is it like a, it's a chain of public schools? Like that's, you're saying Cambridge Public Schools is actually a chain of private schools and that they're naming it that as a trick? Public school, I mean,

Cambridge Public Schools no longer offers advanced math in middle school. In public school, there's more than one, you know, go to, that's wonderful. Yeah. I'm really, I'm excited to learn some advanced math next year because the rest of school is just women talking about books and stories out of books that I don't give a fuck about.

And I definitely don't wanna hear their stupid opinion on it. You mean you don't have an entire library of Louis May Alcott? You mean you don't have an entire library of Louis a May Alcott? Tell me again about how Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. I love that story. Well, you see, the Norris didn't want it had nothing to do with extracting money from the south. It could no no longer offer his advanced math in middle school, something that could hinder its son Isaac from reaching more advanced classes like calculus

in high school. And, you know, it was kind of a big gigantic waste of time then going to school at all. There's no math learning being done. Yeah, home school, blah, blah, blah. Just make everybody dumber. The district's aim was to reduce disparities between low income, low income children of color who weren't often represented in such courses.

It has to come down to money, doesn't it? Like funding, it's like, this looks bad on our like the bottom bottom line. The bottom line looks bad. I mean, because that standardized testing and all that shit is a big deal. Yeah, so you think they're just not teaching smart kids some math because of the test scores. That would make them look even worse.

Maybe, but yeah, well, but enough people might swallow that headline. I guess it's fairness. It's fairness. It's fairness. No, really, we're fucking, we can't line our pockets. How come conservatives can't do that? The Bud Light thing to schools. Yeah.

There's short-changing a significant number of students. I know, I get so cynical with it. I always think there's something that's so obviously stupid has got to have a monetary element to it. Yeah, but these people are just dumb at the end of the day. Yeah, I know. They just get the, they get the craziest ideas in their heads and there's nobody around to say no.

Yeah, no, no, nobody's there going, well, that's dumb. Well, actually, actually, I have a question. Why does I sound suck and all you guys are saying it's great? Yeah. Well, it's true. I get the, I get the, the, the, what do you call it? Not it? The bubble or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. It's a dumb people. Here's an IQ graph of people graduating from college. Yeah. It's not very high. A lot of morons or individuals with under 90 IQ are having high school degrees.

All right. Good for them. Let's see what else I got here. Oh, Italy. Italy had a has a 10 second groping rule. Do you hear about that? It sounds about right. 10 second.

What? That's a salt Italy. It's a salt if it's more than 10 seconds. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This high girl got groped in high school. I think many young people in Italy are expressing outrage on social media after a judge clear to school's caretaker of groping a teenager because it did not last long enough. Man, I don't know if that's the case, I would set the 10 second groping rules.

My kids getting, from a teenager's getting groped. Yeah, also because, you know, I mean, you mean this motherfucker got away with it? That's what everyone should be saying. What, we just, all of us could have been groping teenage girls this whole time. What, that's not. As long as it's not, yeah.

Give me a stopwatches are on sale today. Well, some people are gonna, you know, they're gonna maximize the time. Yeah. So that's, you know, push these dangerous numbers. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, nine point nine.

It's gonna become like, it'll, like the cup stacking thing in Italy. Like the craze that sweeps the nation of just men groperoping teenage girls, but I should have been getting it as close as possible to 9.9999, you know, it's like the new record. It's like the perfect pump at the gas station. Yeah, you know, let go.

Oh, you're going to jail. You're going to free the jail. God damn it. It's a jail. She described walking up a staircase to class with a friend when she felt her trousers fall down. That happens to me a lot. Hand touching her buttocks and grabbing her underwear.

Love you know I was joking the man told her when she turned around. That's an interesting joke. Oh, wow. The incident when she happened in April. The, yeah. That was 66. Jesus. Fuck man. He admitted to groping or without consent,

but said it was a joke. He pulled her pants down. I guess. He really, he really leaned in. And he did that. He did that. It's gonna be hilarious. That's a, that's a comedian, folks.

It ain't me. It's a, come on. What's my mouse doing? This piece of shit, everything in here is falling apart. It's these stupid USB drives. Yeah. They get janky and then the whole, yeah, see? Fucking USB drives.

A Rome prosecutor asked for three and a half year prison sentence, but the judge said, it does not constitute a crime because it lasted less than 10 seconds. Oh, this is the girl. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously, I have no opinion because she's under 18.

Right, right. How unfortunate. Yeah. No. Wow. It's a didn't last long enough. You think it by 66 you'd be over that last not lasting long enough thing. But yeah, let's see. I want to show this Jesus 17 year old girl to everyone so they can see that I also that so they can also have not have an opinion on her. Palpatta Breve, brief groping.

Palpatta like palpatate, like palpate. Oh yeah. Yeah. You think you could count, how close do you think you could count to 10 seconds in your head? That's a long time. Yeah, one, no shit. Two, yeah.

Jesus Christ. Four, five, six, seven. My pants would be totally gone. Yeah, you wouldn't even be able to find them. Mm-hmm. Get about an Amazon and order new pants and the 10 seconds it takes. Let's see what else I got here.

Yeah, that's a very strange ruling, isn't it? I think so. I think you can do a lot in 10 seconds. Yeah, you could probably get it in. You could do a little bit. Get it in and done, 10 seconds. Get you pansy. Here's something I found.

This is stand with us. I think it's like an Israel thing, a group, a disturbing new study they say. Stand with us says some sort of an Israel defense group. Right. Disturbing new study they say found that Israel, the only Jewish state, that's an odd thing.

I think everyone knows what Israel is. Who's that? Who's that for? Yeah. I was disturbing new study found that Israel, the only Jewish state. I don't know if you knew that. Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of making me disagree with stuff already before they even get to the point. It seems very, it's every everybody knows. That's something that people who don't know anything, they don't know when wars were. I got to go on to those later. They don't know, you know, what the water looks like in the picture when you tilt it. Yeah, we know, but they know this. Yeah, was targeted approximately 10 times more than any other country in tweets pertaining to human rights violations, contributing to the ongoing distortion of Israel and the public sphere. So they're saying Israel's getting picked on too much for human rights violations.

And then they say that's 12 times more than communist China, 55 times more than tyrannical Iran and 100 times more than dictatorial North Korea. I like how everyone has like a modifier. Yeah. It's just like, I like how they just picked like the worst most evil countries ever. It said, why are you guys picking on Israel so much? These other guys, these other evil countries, you don't pick on them nearly as much as

like, are you guys sure that's the angle you want to take on this? I see, I always hate that argument. It doesn't, what's going on with someone or something? It's like, well, what about, but, yeah, that's a separate thing. Who gives a fuck? What's that? You're making me think that they're similar now. I mean, what I'm saying is, what's the difference?

What's the difference? One side says, well, what about so and so, what about so and so? That's a stupid logic. Once again, they say, hashtag Jews are being scapegoated. All atrocities worldwide are being minimalized. That's okay. I'll never get used to like fucking right on that.

I'll never get going to Hollywood and tell them to start raising fucking awareness. I'll never get used to certain hashtags. Hashtag Jews? Yeah, it does sound just so, it's all like, crass, is it? Yeah, it's like, yeah. Hashtag Jews.

Yeah. What? It's like hashtag yellow, hashtag Jews. Hashtag, like. Ha ha ha ha. It just trivial, hashtag Jews, man. Hashtag just trivialized, trivialized the fuck out of everything. I'm fucking searching for the hashtag Jews.

I don't know. You know what? I think I know what might be causing this slow down of my mouse. I think I left my fucking AI running. But report, Israel is, look at this picture that they got. All these fingers pointing at poor. Look, poor old Israel logged into Twitter and what does it find? A bunch of mean fingers getting pointed at it once again. They're cute little birds on.

Like a white you did. It is like a squadron of bombers coming out. They're going to shit all over it. How could you do this? Oh, man, I just wanted to log in and see if anyone's I mean any fun recipes, right? For a gifilter fish or something. Hashtag disappointed. Hashtag disappointed. Oh, Ivey. Let's see. The SEC shut library down, that sucks. What else? Oh, here's Jim Kovizel being a psycho. Oh, yeah. That ought to be good.

Once you played Jesus, man, shit really goes to your head. No kidding. Yeah, I got Jim Kovizel being a fucking weirdo. Oh, I'm getting, I'm still getting flack for this saying that this movie is dumb and that Jim Kovizel's like an insane person. Yeah. People are going like, well, what does it have to do that he's crazy? He's just in the movie. Like do you remember, you guys don't remember saying that fuck Tom Cruise when he was like so crazy about Scientology all the time and then doing these movies and everyone's like, fuck that guy about Scientology, all the time, and then doing these movies,

and everyone was like, fuck that guy, Scientology's like, fucking cult. Don't let him get, don't let him go around doing PR, talking about Scientology, jumping on couches and shit. You're gonna, dumb people are gonna see this and believe it. Fuck and stop. Well, I know, but when it's something that you identify with, and all of a sudden you forgive, you know,

the craziness of that. Yeah, I'm starting to get the feeling that a lot of people don't know when they're trolling about dumb stuff that they, well, yeah, like a dream of Chrome and flat earth and stuff. I'm starting to think, you know, you are, you do know that the earth is not flat, right? Well, you know, it would be a lot of funnier if it was. Okay, you know, this a dream crump shit is fucking made up right? I mean, you know even if it's half right Yeah, that's pretty messed up

I'll just start general find a good part of you I'm not scared and in the least bit I gave God brought me into Hollywood to become an actor he asked me to do that He was my intel officer, the greatest god in the military. The only god. And he loved me enough to give me a purpose in my life. He always loved the low at that time. The only god in my life. That's what I hear. Take that, Sneakow.

Yeah. shove that in your fucking barata flying burrow. I paid my life to save these little ones. because the screaming that I heard was so horrific. I can't sleep at night at three in the morning for whatever reason. Wait, what? You can hear it. Well, so like David, I love my God. Wait, what's screaming? Well, he probably was in a child porn.

When preparing for the role, he probably saw, like, you know, government probably saw like government rescue efforts or something like that. I don't know. I'm just completely full of it. I would like to know more. I would have a follow up question on that one interviewer. So, all right, did you say screaming? What were you watching? Right.

I can't even make jokes about cuties without getting called the pedophile. What did you say you were watching with kids screaming again, Mr. Jesus? Yeah. Okay. I give him so much, I will give my life from,

do you understand that? My life is okay, especially if it saves these little ones. So I want you to understand that when you try to do what you did to me on the Passion of the Christ, change the world narrative. You never scared me. You don't scare me now. Who's he talking about?

Also, I just want to say, I love you. General Flynn. Yeah. And how he gave his life and guys like that inspire me. Warriors that I work with, seal teams that I work with. What, you work with seal teams? What the fuck? What's this guy doing?

Is he like Steven Sagole? I don't know. Right around the world, solving crimes and fighting guys You know sometimes actors start to just believe there are you know one of their roles he talking about I don't know he's God made him an actor He asked him to be an actor that was his Stuff going no wonder the universe is so fucked up no No wonder we have pro time decay. Cause fucking assholes like Jim Kovizler wasting all of God's time. Right. What should I do? What should I do? I got a five BN actor. Fucked up. This subatomic shit's so bad. I need

a long time to figure out you guys keep fucking interrupting me with this shit. Never listen to my problems. Yeah. I got big fucking problems. I'm trying to gin up particles all over the universe, push that the guys don't figure out that I don't know what's going on. Okay. Yes, there's good media like Lara Logan, people that are giving their lives. They actually go down there, not your stupid fact checkers. And by the way, do you have to go to fact checking school?

Where is that like a doctor degree, a master's degree? I'm asking. Wait, yes, isn't that fact checking school? You have to go to school. You have to go, you have to connect the dots. By the way, you have to go to fact checking school? Yes, yes, yes, you have to get a master's. Yeah, you actually, you probably, there's something

on the edge that needs to happen. Yeah, it's always like Okay, Mr Science when when fake you know fake news is like oh what I don't like That's fake yeah, you know what annoys me about fucking idiots. Yeah, I don't even fucking anti-science shit It's like well. Yeah, I don't like scientists to get on TV and like I don't like that either Yeah, I like science right You guys don't like that. That's a problem. Right.

Okay. Christian, public forget about Christians. Wake up. Stop fearing the devil. More than you fear God. Wake up, what people. Stop being afraid. Stop my, unlike you, I know I'm gonna die someday.

I'm not gonna die by my own hand. I'm not gonna, you're gonna die. You're gonna someday. I'm not gonna die by my own hand. I'm not gonna commit suicide. You're probably gonna die. I'm not, it may have been... What have I told you to? This has happened before. Right.

After the Passion of the Christ. That's right. 2009. Look up that date on our Lady of Feast of Mount Karma. What you tried to do. Not karma. I'm not afraid of you. I got the Blessed Mother.

She's with me. Our Lady of God a little bit. She's with me. Fucking Lord Jesus. Fucking the boss. Wow. This guy is talking to this guy really fucking believes his own bullshit. Wow, man. Uh, you got to like pump the brakes on the god shit, man. Uh, I think you love it a little too much.

You know, he doesn't work. You know, he doesn't work. Right. I mean, when was the last, what was the last, even in a supporting role? No, he was on like Jagger something, wasn't he? Jim Kovisel. Yeah, I thought he was on a TV show for the last couple of years. Was he?

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. But I mean, you know, he was originally a, you know, a film. Big actor, yeah, I mean. Now he's a lunatic. Yeah. Oh, my heart. I do not fear you at all.

Maybe he's talking to the devil. You should fear God. Ah. He's talking about people who would persecute him. That's it. That's it. Fuck it, I'm done. What drive you?

That's the follow-up question. I it, I'm done. But what drive you? That's the follow up question. I know. What about you, Michael Flynn? General Michael Flynn, what drive you? I have a question about this 3am screaming. I know back to that screaming. I'm also afflicted with this condition. Do you think we should start a support group?

Well, children screaming at 3am, I don't know how to get away from it. Hashtag tired. I gotta save those little ones. For me. For me. Yeah. See, drive anything else funny? So fucking cynical today.

Yeah, me too. I'm really, yeah. Cause I smoked all those cigarettes. Really over it. Man, I'm sick of Tucker Carlson's ass too. What? I'm sick. I'm sick of Tucker Carlson's ass too.

Yeah. I'm sick of Tucker Carlson's ass too. Yeah. I'm sick of Tucker Carlson, me too. I'm really, yeah. Cause I smoked all those cigarettes. Really over it. Man, I'm sick of Tucker Carlson and his ass too. What's he doing? He's doing these dumb. Cause he's not on Fox, right? I mean, is that? No, now he does videos in his, in a wood shed,

wearing a full suit. It looks so fucking dumb. With the bow tie and everything. I think so. Let me see. He interviewed Andrew Tate. Did he? And he didn't ask him, like, at all, he didn't say, like, oh, are you doing human trafficking? Right.

No, of course, there was a lot. He said a lot. He said a lot that you were. And then Andrew Tate goes, like, I was just making, I was just told in girls to make sexy TikTok videos, which is not true. Right. Not true at all. which is an obvious lie. So then, then all the rest of the shit you're saying is a lie then dude.

Like what do you mean? What do you mean you're doing sexy TikTok videos? Yeah. And you weren't, you're doing cam or shit. Uh, let me, let me find a clip of this. And everyone's piss, everyone loves Tucker Carlson like he's their dad too. Uh, no. clip of this. And everyone's pissed, everyone loves Tucker Carlson like he's their dad to. No. I just want you to see his his his new studio. Look, he's in this. He's in a wood shed. Yeah. But he's wearing a whole suit. Oh, yeah, he doesn't have the bow tie. That's how I always

remember him. I haven't seen a ridiculous though, it. It looks ridiculous though, wearing his full suit and what is a wood shed behind it. Yeah. You gotta put a sweater on, man. That's Mr. Rogers came home and his suit and his at home. Right, so he's relaxing with his sweater. Yeah, put a sweater on. Get a fucking clue.

You think you're better than Mr. Rogers? You're not. Right. All right. Let? You're not. Right. All right. Let's read some comments. Hmm. Hmm. Colin says, bro, so many of these dickheads are falling off,

that are falling off, don't get what you're saying about sound of a Freedom BS, but you're completely right and it's obvious. Thank you. What's worse is I keep seeing ads for it. It's mentioned everywhere. Retarded, smooches for Sean. Yep.

Nick said he might call in. You know, Nicholas. Let's see if he is. I'm gonna have this up just in case. He knows how to call in. Gibbers says, hey, Dick, did you see this? Well, good intro. Let's see. The man behind the viral blue black dress solution charged with trying to kill his wife.

Oh, well, uh, Scottish man rose to fame in 2015 over his mother-in-law's viral black and blue or golden white dress that divided the internet is now accused of trying to murder his wife. How do you see it? Right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. He tried to murder his wife. What an interesting fellow. What an interesting fellow. Kier Johnson, 38 of the Isle of Collins' say, appeared at the High Court. He allegedly committed an 11-year campaign of domestic violence acts and coercive control against Grace, which allegedly led him to trying to kill her last March by pinning her to the ground and compressing her neck. Oh, wow.

So that could do it. She had 11 years of warnings of this and... Huh. I think that's victim blaming. But at some point, she could have at least, you know, got a, some sort of, she could at least walk around with a taser, right?

Is that still victim blaming? I understand you're not gonna leave. The your husband that kicks the shit out of you. Right, right. Obviously, I'm not stupid. Okay, I've met enough of you to know that you would expect something like that is just fucking take some precautions.

Yeah, walk around the house with the taser. That's fair, that's fair. Where is spiked collar? Like a BDSM collar, okay? Is that victim blaming? Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, I thought you. You're one of those vests that Chihuahua's wear so they don't get eaten by hawks and coyotes. Oh, they have

like, flack jackets. Yeah. Have you ever seen us? No, but that's a makes perfect sense. So they can't, if they try to fly off with them or whatever, they anti-coyote. Because people don't want to watch their dogs in their backyard. You know, see? They have these little shit. So your little dog doesn't get eaten by a coyote. That's pretty fucking hilarious. I mean, it's also smart. Yeah. Uh, allegedly committed an 11 year campaign of domestic violence hacks, a campaign, like a military. Yeah, like it's so weird when they use these terms that really are kind of out of place

in certain instances. You know, what I hate about the news is we got like the news that talks like a robot. And then at the other end, we have like pigeon news, which talks like a retarded person. And there's nothing in the middle. It's like, man, this guy, this guy was kicking his wife's ass for like 11 years.

Yeah. And he tried to kill her. Right. And he hit 11 year campaign. First, we're gonna come in through the south. Right. A lot of you men are gonna die out there beating my wife's ass. Right.

But just remember this, yeah. Every one of you bastards, here denied all the allegations, including that he repeatedly assaulted his wife in their home Before brandishing a knife and attempting a strangler What he brandished a knife. Yeah, attempted to strangler with a knife This guy Is this another black and blue dress thing? Was he trying to stab her or trying to strangle her? That's going to be the next meme.

Other allegations stemming from the incident, say that he pushed her against a wall, shouted at her, allegedly pushing her against a wall, shouting at her and thriling her, you don't have to say allegedly shouting at her. I think you could, yeah, I think you could go ahead and assume that we've all shouted at our heed pleaded guilty to that probably. Yeah. The rest of it, he denies, but this is him.

I look like such a cute couple. He allegedly tried to get in a vehicle she was in and hit her through an open window, as well as another alleged incident. We get it with the alleged it's already put his wife in a headlock and dragged her out of the pub after she refused to leave. Let's go bitch. Yeah. Maybe she's a lot of girls and Zahn.

Let's go get to the car bitch. Put her in a headlock. It's good. It was horrible. He was giving her nougies all the way out. I'll show you. I'll show you. Yeah. Okay.

Well, at least seven. Okay, well, they're having fun. Thanks for the hobby. Thanks for the dress thing. Yeah. Next time you want to strangle your wife, put the knife down or stab her. Don't do both. Yeah, it's very difficult.

You're not that coordinated. Apparently not. Aaron says, girlfriend questions. Hey, to hear some questions, my girlfriend's asked. She says, I don't understand how to get the film in this camera developed. Yeah, okay. Adult. Yeah. You just kind of drop it off at the Walgreens and Wade, I said. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. Yeah. Maybe a film camera is too advanced at this stage of life. Yeah. It's too confused. Sometimes they're just pretending to be, just not understanding, so you'll do it.

I've noticed. OK, yeah. That can happen. I mean, I do it. You know, you're just so good at it. Yeah. What's the clitoris? I don't know what that is. You could show me, I guess.

I mean, yeah. I can't sell, remember. Calling the aquarium about their fat mermaids. Hey, the SirSeedCitter of ShitMyAss.com here. Okay. SirSeedCitter of ShitMy.com. That he represents that brand. Excellent. Shitmyass.com.

Shitmyass.com. Is that like, like shitmyass? Like something happened to it or just shitmyass. Like I'm shitmyass off here. Like a shitmyass.com. Doesn't exist. Yeah, get new hosting, bud It doesn't exist. Yeah, get new hosting, bud. It doesn't exist.

You played my voice mail last episode about me taking my son to the aquarium and him seeing a mermaid exhibit with fat mermaids. John breaks bad news. Lavish and myself called that aquarium about it. The audio attached is that call. Oh my god. Want to listen to this call? Yeah. is that call. Oh my god. I'm gonna listen to this call. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Calling the mermaid. Shut up fat dog.

All right. Can I help you? Oh, Shudda. We're a couple of homeschool parents and we took our kids unfortunately saw that mermaid. The mermaid shows you guys do there. And my son is, he's, he's almost two years old and he's actually still like, been crying and really, and like kind of terrified about how fat those mermaids were. Is there like a, somebody in particular I can plane I complained to about that or he was upset because the mermaid for what? Morebidly obese. Click. I can pass on the message to our operator highlights operator that does like the mermaid okay she's on vacation right now so i don't know how quickly you get

solved but i can her about it i'm not looking to get anybody just a month contest like you could put a warning before the show and so that uh... really fat just like maybe just kind of like you know how you put that on a pack of cigarettes. I mean, cause like.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. I think is that I don't know. I think there might be a better solution, but that's probably the first one that comes to mind for me. Just to know other kids are traumatized or anything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a sign or something. Yeah, just like a sign that warns you before you walk in. Big fat mermaids are here. That's John Breaks bad news. I'll see you guys. Just plus size or whatever. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, yeah, maybe not such harsh things.

These mermaids are plus size. This probably better way to put it. Warning. Yeah. These mermaids are plus size. This probably been a better way to put it. Warming. These mermaids are whales. You know, just the theme of the aquarium. Oh, yeah, that's good because that actually would fit within the aquarium. But they don't have whales at this aquarium though.

Yeah, they're aquatic. It's cool, I can't believe it anymore. She's still on it. So our kids would terrify. Yeah, those kids are just having a conversation. She's extremely traumatized. Okay. You think maybe you could like not supply meals for them?

Maybe just pay them a little bit more and not do it. I don't know if this is legit or if you're just like playing right now, but this is a legit complaint. Like, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to put up a sign that says we have fat mermaid. I'm going to go ahead and hang off because I don't know if this is fake or not. It's really start nagging me. Um, have a good night. Oh, it's okay.

Maybe you'll be able to. I think that was one of the mermaids on the phone. I said it's to the mermaid department. Oh, real. That's fun. God, he was less, I'm not even, like, thank you guys. You know, how many times have you been on a phone call where there's multiple people talking to each other? Right.

Well, the call. Yeah. Is that ever happened to you outside of a comedy podcast? Pretty good. Yeah, very good. I don't know if this is a real call, but I am not putting up a sign that says fat mermaids. We have fat mermaids when we don't. Okay. Let's see. This is from brass. Ah, okay. Let's see, this is from Brask. Jew Belong, it says. Okay.

Hey, Dick, if you've seen these billboards in LA, another billboard I saw said something a lot, all right, here, let's pull up this billboard. The billboard that he sends in is a real billboard that says does your church need armed guards? Because our synagogue does. Oh, wow. I mean, hashtag and a Jew hatred. Some, I mean, there was a Jew blog. There was a shooting dot com. Christian church in Texas, right? I mean, that's, I really just don't think that American Christians

are the people that you guys want to be attacking because they're the only reason Israel exists. That's where the support comes from. That's why you named the country Israel. It really does Christian Americans to support it. Christian America does really support Israel. They would literally die for it. Does your church need armed guards? Because our synagogue does. It's kind of combative. It's combative to up your synagogue. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know. It's a little combative, I think. Yeah. It's made to be to illicit a reaction. I would think that's a prank if I saw this,

that this is an anti-Semitic prank. Another billboard I saw said something along the lines of only 75 years since the gas chambers. So no, it's not too long ago. Ha ha ha ha. Wow, okay. I gotta look at that's real. Is, is Jew belong a prank?

No. Multi city ad campaign hopes to fight anti-Semitism with nagging and sarcastic passive aggression. Is that what it says? A multi-city ad campaign. Yeah, wow. Well, good for you guys. The organization seems to think the way to end anti-Semitism is with puns and snarky passive aggressive guilt tripping.

In my experience, in my experience, shame is not effective in combating hate and in fact, it has the opposite effect. If I were a Jewish, I'd be concerned about how this is reflected upon me. Yeah, you know, I'm not alone because a friend of mine who is Jewish actually had a similar criticism. What do you think? Yeah, I don't think that's a good billboard to put up. No, I agree. Generally speaking, that's not the group I would want to sarcastically say that I, it's like a rap battle kind of, like saying how the poor they were when they grew up

and how rough their neighborhood is. That's like what they're doing with just synagogues and churches. Our synagogues, so our race is so hated. We gotta have a... Yeah. Okay. Hey, Dick and John, should I lose my virginity

to a hooker advice please? As a throw away email, call me Frank, if you use it on the show. I'm 24, a virgin, dated a couple of times, but too uncomfortable asking girls out. Oh, okay. I don't care that much about being a virgin, but some nights I think I want to fuck. I've been there.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure, okay, I'm sure that's true. So, some of that toxic masculinity, I think, you're experiencing. I'm a bit more sensitive, I guess, than the usual man. So, I was wondering if it's a good or bad idea according to you. If so, I've found a legal brothel online that seems like a nice place.

Go fuck yourself and smooch us for Sean. Well, you already wanna do it. Yeah, my phone. You gotta find the right hooker. See, a lot of guys just have in their mind that it's either just go to a quote, a hooker or not. But you really gotta think the worst part about hookers is also the best part.

They're women. They're regular women. So you gotta, you know, they're not all the same. They still are, sums are a pain in the ass. Some are not any good. And it's all the same problems with women. You have Chris the Kiwi screen them for you. Yes, get his opinion.

If they can tolerate him, you gotta keep her. Send me the info and we'll get Chris the Kiwi to look at her pictures. screen them for you. Yes. Get his opinion. They can tolerate him. You got a keeper. Send me the info and we'll get Chris the Kiwi to look at a picture. So she goes to McDonald's too much and rate them because he is the expert. So the easy answer for me is you say it doesn't really bother you to be a virgin, but to some, to, I mean, I'm saying to some degree, it obviously does. Yeah, of course it would. So just get fucking laid. So just to help the point of life, you want, you'll, you'll demystify it.

Like it just, it's one thing you'd be like, oh, okay, like been there, done that. Like I've, I've checked that box, so to speak. That way, it's not, it'll never be brand new. Yeah. I guess that's true. Just just do it. Just do I don't see any fucking I don't see any harm in it It clearly bothers you to some extent you've probably You know is it gonna change your life? No no no it won't you'll still you'll still be awkward talking to girls You'll still have to overcome shyness you You'll still have to work on that. That doesn't, that's not going to take care of that at all. But that one little aspect of it

will no longer be the mystery that it is now. So just do it. Actually, what you should do, the real problem is you don't want to fuck a hooker who's too hot because then you're gonna ruin yourself a normal woman. So find the fattest, ugliest hooker that you could find and fuck her so that you don't compare

the your hooker experience of this beautiful, right? Right, you don't want to mess, you don't want to give yourself porn sickness. Right, so make sure, start, you know, you want something to build off of. You don't want to start at the top and say, like, well, I guess there's no point in having sex ever again. If you fucking girl, that's too hot.

And you're like, well, now I can only fuck hot girls. I don't have that kind of game. So now I'm stuck with this hot hooker for the rest of my fucking life, right? You don't want that. So I'll find somebody who's dumpy, stinks, the hat, old, too, Craigslist, back page. Don't go to a brothel where you could shop like a menu.

Okay, I got some advice. Chalmers says, I need advice on how to move on from my ex. Let me check this thing again. Now maybe he's not calling in. I don't know, we were up pretty late on his show. Oh yeah. I Friday messing around. Chomas, I need advice.

I had a move on from my ex. We dated for about a year and recently broke up. No mention of how big her tits were. My issue with getting over her is that I still love her and did not expect the breakup. Apparently, I'm perfect, but she doesn't see me as that best friend she wants in a partner. Her words, not mine, sound a little sarcastic. I don't know if women love that.

The other issue is we still hang out and have sex frequently. Okay. I wasn't expecting that. What's the problem? Oh my God, you know how much lying guys have to do to get in the situation you're in? Yeah, but a lot. He wants gas lighting. He wants to be in a relationship, even though they still hang out and then show it.

Then what you want is a man. That's the problem. Both of us have had conversations about our love for one another. What? But how the relationship won't work out. Man. Okay, I see the problem. Yeah. To make things worse, her previous ex-boyfriend is still a good friend of hers.

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, that's a, yeah. And I know that was the reason we broke up. Because of the ex boyfriend, I guess. No cheating occurred. As far as you know, it occurred. Yeah. But she never understood why we couldn't be friends with him and date me at the same time. Oh, why she couldn't be friends with him and date me at the same time. Oh, why she couldn't be friends with him and date me at the same time. You know, the most amazing thing about following rules

is that you don't have to understand them. That's my, you know? People follow rules that have no clue what they mean all the time. Most, in fact, understanding is not a prerequisite to obedience, Just do it. Finally, the real issue, the vacation we were supposed to go on was canceled due to the breakup, but guess who she decides to bring her ex. Okay. Well, okay. And yeah, there are three

dicks in this relationship and you have the smallest one. I don't want to break it to you like that, especially in that funny way, but that's what's happening. I do a comedy podcast that I want you to remember it. I want you to feel bad and then that bad feeling be associated with this thing you're trying to do. So you stop doing it.

To make you better. Yeah, so you stop wasting your fucking time and emotions. Yeah, because that's an expensive on the energy front. Yes. That will really fuck up other aspects of your life. It will really make you too tired to do things that you should be doing. Yeah, like anything else, like fucking another woman

because they're all the same. He wants to get back with her, and so do I. Wait, what? He all the same. He wants to get back with her and so do I. Wait, what? He wants the ex. They both want to get back with her. Okay, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. If you really want to do, I mean, just go to only fans and try to date one of those girls that has 500 other guys that want to, that are trying to date her. There's no difference to what you're doing. Right. Except you're having sex, I guess. Well, again, you didn't say how big or tits were. So you didn't give me enough information to go.

Oh, okay. He wants to get back with her and so do I. And all she wants is to be single and figure herself out. Oh, okay. Um, replacing him on vacation though. That's fucked. Yeah. Don't kill her. Uh, don't do that. Yeah, that's what your mind is telling you to do. I'm replacing him on vacation though. That's fucked. Don't kill her.

Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, that's what your mind is telling you to do. That's so advice I can stand behind. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying don't do it. You go to jail. You don't have to understand. Just follow the rule.

Yeah. Yeah. I know what I have to do. Uh-oh. I know what I have to do. Every time someone says that in a movie, there's like some horrible, fuck, there's a lot of people, you know, shift. Who do you think Jim Kovizel's scream, the screams he's hearing is probably as fucking his wife and kids from the basement? Doesn't he have adopted Chinese kids? Who the fuck knew him?

I think so, really? I don't know, I don't know much about him. I think he's too. Uh, Jim, Kavizl adopted. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but. Too disabled. Oh, so Jim Kavizl talks about his two disabled children.

He decided to adopt. They adopted. They adopted some disabled children. Well, I mean, that's great. Yeah, Adrenal Cromes not real. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people.

They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who were able to get a lot of people. They had a lot of people who or if it's a color, exactly. And it's literally, they just make it and they do test on it because they think for a while they thought maybe it was linked to schizophrenia. So could they, that's what it is. It's adrenal glands, they're processing wrong.

Sitting there, testing it. So then they try to draw it for lab use. Because of this schizophrenia thing. And it was like mildly, it was like mildly disassociative. So people say, well, there you go. It's like, it's just fucking caffeine. It's, well, there you go. So it's fucking caffeine. It's a mild disassociative as well. Much better job.

Yeah, heroin, fentanyl. Lots of things. Oh, God, I guess not some magic fucking, you know, here's, this was a funny one. Hold on, I'll bring this in before I continue with this poor bastard. Cops. Yeah, cops. Yeah, cops, the headline is five cops, five LAPD officers have been taken to the hospital after being exposed to meth.

So they saw they did a bust or something and they were ex there was meth around. So they checked all five of them checked themselves into the hospital. Because they. A high park. Let's write down the street five LA police officers were rushed to the hospital Friday afternoon after being exposed to a meth while responding to a call in the high part. It's something blow up like a man. Or was there meth sitting on the table and they're like, oh my God, the officers were responding to a domestic disturbance incident when an officer came across the drug in the house.

It's all we got to get out of here. We got to get the hospital. These people. This is, they've been, see, they're just people and stupid people sometimes that get down. So they're, this is like, I'm exposed to, they've seen the fentanyl shit. Yeah, yeah.

Like that kind of cops are freaking out. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's four officers were taking his seaters and another was taking to another hospital because there was too many cops overdosing on meth exposure on seeing it. They were all, it's the demon core. They were all reportedly in moderate distress. Oh, no fuck, but are expected to be okay.

No shit. That's, you don't say, you don't say, officer, they brought in the, the, the narco detective squad to tell these guys, well, as you guys stop being a lot plusy, moderate distress, they got hysterical, as they used to say. And it's a diagnosis, they used to diagnose women, you know, a hundred years ago. A hysteria. A hysteria.

That's exactly what they did. They should get a fucking lobotomy for what they did to women. It's unclear if anyone was taken into custody or arrested. They should arrest themselves. You guys gotta reevaluate your lives. You are so fucked. How many of these fucking idiots believe about this about drugs? They came up there like this.

They're like the drug. What did one like? Cause he's seen too many movies throw himself on it. Go, go, go, go. They're here in this. I himself on it. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, I am a walking bio hazard, send in the fucking national guard. Yeah. Yeah. I came across it in the house. If you shoot me, I will explode fentanyl all into the upper atmosphere. Right.

And everyone in the world will die. Uh, okay. Who's that talking about? Fucking hilarious. You're talking about the guy with the, the ex took his place on vacation. I know what I have to do, but I need to be verbally slapped around for being a complete idiot. Okay, Simp.

I need that kick in the ass to help me move on from her and the relationship. Your advice, Ranting is what I need. Thank you. Feel free to read this on the show and go fuck yourself. I actually think that you should keep fucking her. And where I think you should just practice how badly you can treat someone. This is a great opportunity that you don't, you know, don't just walk away from, it's from a gift that God gave you. I mean, this is a beautiful that God gave you, I mean, this is a beautiful chance to really learn how to manipulate and destroy someone.

And you can't, I mean, the relationships fucked. So what are you out? Nothing. Let's put it this way. This is just practice swings. She can, she can cut it off at any time. Yeah. This is not for your campaign.

You're not in a relationship. She doesn't want to be in a relationship. You know, she just wants to get in a piped. Maybe I, maybe I am a bad person. I don't disagree. Why? What do you, you don't disagree with me? Not really. Yeah. Not really. Uh, stop all this. I know that is. It's like, well, you feel entitled to, well, then fuck her. I'm gonna, but it's like, yeah, she can, you know, now if she says, don't see me again, and you, then you're done, then you're done. But something tells me. Yeah.

Yeah. Something tells me. Yeah. If you start treating this the way she's advising you. She's not going anywhere. you to go in anywhere. It's not going anywhere. Nope. Stop talking about, I think it's a good practice.

It's a good time to practice all this, not talking about your feeling shit that you need to start doing, not having discussions about our love for each other. That's the mistake. The mistake is not fucking her. It's this compulsion that you have to tell your feelings to women. And that's going to follow you and you should never do that. Yeah, it usually they want you to listen. Yeah, they don't necessarily want you to reciprocate.

Yeah. That's so they, I think they think they do. And maybe there's some that that do what you think and act like they do. And maybe there's some that do. They want you to think and act out. They do. But you're a great partner. It's really, it goes way more one way than the other. And you don't want to practice that stuff on a good girl that you want to be with.

So practice on this horror. Because she's not a good girl. Yeah, like I had to break it to you. But like that's the way she's acting, that kind of, that means she's taking her, that means she didn't really have any respect for you or the relationship. And honestly, we're talking about this shit.

She wouldn't, that's how they are. Yeah, I mean, guys wouldn't, if you're talking to a guy all the time about how you're love for him or her, or whomever, a guy's gonna go like, I don't, man, you're talking to a guy all the time about your love for him or her Whoever a guy's gonna be like, I don't man. You're just like fucking wasting my time This is like an emotion suck for me. Fuck it. Stop talking about this shit. Stop. Yeah. Yeah guy wouldn't tolerate it So Okay

See Practice swings Figuratively speaking. Yeah, yeah, don't hit her. Do not hit her. No, she, for God's sake. You will go to jail. Or you will have to marry her. It's like the mob. You want to, you know, just smack her around.

You got to make your wife first. That's okay. Hi, Dick. We've met, oh, this is a girl. I'm a 34 bee cop for reference. Oh, okay, great. How do you deal with men that are bitches? I think we just did. We've met, oh this is a girl, a 34 bee cup for reference. Oh, okay, great. How do you deal with men that are bitches?

I think we just did. That are bitches? I can't tell you how many times I have won an argument with my boyfriend, it says it's because I'm smarter than him. Obviously ridiculous, right. But really, okay. His brother and I pay the rent. He has a tendency to be a hypokondriac

and I broke my hand, got surgery two weeks ago. I got a screw put in it because it was so broken. Oh my God. The entire time he's my hell of a hand job. The entire time. Thanks, Matt. Should I go see a hooker? Yeah. I mean, now you got like an overload, right? You got all these options.

I want it to be perfect for me. He goes to the doctor and comes back and he's complaining about his wrist hurting the whole time. He goes to the doctor and shocker, his first statement isn't my hand, is broken. It's so happy I didn't have to get surgery. What a cock. He complained about his pain more than I did.

Oh, he's being a bitch about his pain. Right. I'm going to be a little bit more patient isn't my hand is broken. It's so happy I didn't have to get surgery. What a cock. He complained about his pain more than I did. Oh, he's being a bitch about his pain. Right. Oh, okay. I'm done with it. I'm not sure you're the best person to ask for this advice. Well, no, I mean, I don't know. You're fucking dating him. What do you mean to do? Yeah. You know, reminds me of the phone. The whole couple weeks ago. Behavior or not. Like that's pretty much all you got. Yeah, maybe he's a complainer.

Maybe he's a complainer. I think some people don't even know that they're complaining a lot. It's so ingrained. He probably has no idea that he complains as much as he does. No, probably not. Okay, I guess that's all the advice, I think.

Oh yeah, well then. Well then, anyone's in here. Oh, there he is. Nick, just in time. I think you have to unmute yourself. Hey, what's up? How you doing? Yo, Nick. I'm good, hey, Sean. Hey, buddy. up? How you doing? You're on Nick.

I'm good, hey Sean. Hey buddy. Good man. It's good to chat with you again. I feel like I spend a lot of time chatting with you in this studio these days. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, that's good. That's a good thing.

Because I can give you expert legal advice all the time. I need some. You could probably do. He answered I could sue Kevin Landau and put a stay on that domain. Yeah, is it fun? Yeah, you can probably contest the trademark. Also. God, that's so much work. I know, I know.

I just rather make fun of his girlfriend. Is that his girlfriend? Yeah, I went on her Instagram rather make fun of his girlfriend. She's a lot of now. Is that his girlfriend? Yeah, I went on her Instagram and people are congratulating. Oh, congratulations. She lives. People are congratulating them on their relationship, on their saying they look so happy together. I had to use a little translate tool for the guppapoo guppapoo. I know that he's not happy because I have learned from Drexel that black

women cannot make white, well, anyone happy because they're not happy. That's what he says. Oh, I see. He's an expert on black women entirely. So I know that's true. You know what men love is when their girlfriends go online and start fights with like 5,000 artists. That's what they, that's what men absolutely love going on. I'm going to go, I'm going to go online and pick a gigantic fight with this guy's audience. Like, don't do that. Yeah. Do it in traffic.

Also, don't do it while having Dennis Rodman's haircut. Not a good plan. Oh, is that what? Oh, God. Have you not seen her? I don't think so. I'm up. Let's put her Instagram. See you get a crane. Oh, Jesus. I have seen her. Dennis Rodman said that's pretty good. He's like Zach from Dead or alive. Oh

for the good. He's like Zach from Dead or Alive. Oh my. Oh boy. This is a picture of her ideating, I think. There, right there. There we go. This girl's gonna take my dog from me. She might.

Whew, I gotta get Maddie Finn. And so when animal services show up. Yeah, exactly. Take her up. Yeah, exactly. Take her away. Yeah, this is her. And you, the Bogot. Art collector, DJ in training. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Why do you put, ah! What? Ah! Ah!

Art vault. What is your fucking art? Oh, wow, okay. You know, our names like Karen Jones or something. Yeah. She's calling me my slave name. She took a, she took a on picture of a Chanel hand, like that's a seashawn. It's that art? Is that a basketball? Is that a basketball spray painted black? Oh, yeah, it's an L-written on it. And a black chain is a handle. Okay, there you go.

It is avant-garde art. No. I'm really glad. How are you behind everything like this? It's a blackskip ball. A blackskip ball, yeah. Avant points guard. It's a basketball.

Art. Okay. It's kind of on the nose, isn't it? It's at least it's at least redundant. So she's a on her website. Yeah, brand consultant creative strategist. Okay. DJ and training is also on her website. Yeah, very important. Oh, this is the art. She's collected. This isn't her stuff. Oh, okay. So Oh, this is the art she's collected. This isn't her stuff. Oh, okay. So that black basketball is somebody else's piece of shit, I guess. Oh, let's see which a about.

About a lot of classy. The art page says, I fucks with art heavy and there's an X for in fucks. Right. Well, I got a picture of Obama next to the bowling ball, though. And the basketball. Hmm. Welcoming people into your home. Wow, Landau traded up.

This bitch has some money. I think so, right? Yeah. That's why she feels like she can go on Twitter and threaten my dog. Probably. Because I'm just a poor guy, like all the rest of you. I'm just a regular guy trying to get through life. With his dog. With my dog. With his dog. Probably. Because I'm just a poor guy like all the rest of you. I'm just a regular guy trying to get through life with this dog with my dog. With this dog on her shipping

tack. This elitist bitch comes on and threatens to take my dog away from me. Right. Because she feels, because she's up in her ivory, in her black ivory, ebony tower, in her ebony tower. Look at that on me. Welcomeing people into your home builds trust and intimacy as a guest of my digital home. Oh, my God. Okay. I'd like to invite you into my art vault. Look how, is that what you call it?

Where I document my growing IRL collection. Jesus Christ. Maybe you'll learn more about me based on what you see. Maybe it's not always good to have that happen. Maybe you won't. Two words. Maybe. Maybe you'll learn. Maybe you'll learn more about me based on what you see. Maybe you won't. Wow. Either way, you're welcome. Oh, man, she's, she's snotty. Her, her select clients include Nike, TikTok, Lexus, Duck and Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Ralph Lauren, Mandela's, Mars, Gracos, Campbell Soup, Kimesie, Estee Lauderre companies, Sony music, Target Netflix, Coca-Cola,

Proctor and Gamble Beauty Q. Wow. That's a lot of clients. That's a lot of clients. But Cardi, Tommy Hilfiger, Hyundai, Hyundai and the list goes on. But I mean, it doesn't actually go on when, just because you say it goes on, it actually stopped at Hyundai. But, Well, anyway, wait, wait, go, go back to that. I saw something. Oh, which one?

Just, uh, can you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Backed for the search results. something. Oh, which one? Just, uh, can you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, back for the search results. Okay. What'd you say? Not your, she's got a sense of something. Not your, not your average trap queen. That's what I saw trap queen and I see sure she's a transexual. I don't know. That's what you're saying. I, I, I saw that and I needed to little more. You got the gender-owny surgery.

She got that little, remember those little toys we had as kids? They were filled with water and they turned inside out and you could stick your finger in it, you know? What? It's like a water weiner. And you couldn't grab it because it keeps wiggling away. Well, water weiner, yeah.

Yeah, that's what they put in your, where your vagina is, if you get that surgery, you can put one, they make one of those and put it there. Right. That's accurate. That's medically accurate. Yeah. Yeah.

From what we've talked about. Yeah. And then you try to grab it. It's going away from you. Did they stick a bone in there? Or is it a pump? I think it's a pump. I bet it's a pump.

It's a pump. Man, I need one of those. I would choose the permanent direction though. Wouldn't you? Like, I don't want a pump. I bet it's a pump. It's a pump. Man, I need one of those. I would choose the permanent direction though. Wouldn't you? I don't want to pump it up, but I just wanted to be there. Well, that would also be a good one. Oh man. Keep you out of places that you probably don't want to go anyway.

So that's a permanent erection like schools and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I want to go to parent teacher night. I got this big fucking erection. Yeah. Bitch, I can't go. You go. Exactly. I'll show you. I'll get my fucking erection. Yeah, bitch, I can't go. You go exactly. I'll get it. You'll I'll show you. I'll get my own erection. Yeah. Oh, no. And she will.

Um, Nick posed the question on his show of who would you have? Who do you want narrating your sex life? David Attenborough or Morgan Freeman? Sean, which would you pick? Oh, wow. You know, I would pick. I just say Morgan Freeman just to, I just hear the voice. I know, I know, I know, Admiral, too. Yeah. But Morgan, here's why I would pick Admiral. Yeah, okay.

Because Dave Freeman is too funny and I don't want any kind of like jokes. There's gonna be way too many, you know, oh, he's got a, it looks like a sausage casing, his entered the bedroom, oh no, that's actually dick. He's very, he's very, he's very rye. He goes a little, there's a little wink or a little smirk in some of the,

that he can do that, maybe you don't, I don't want that, you know? Okay, I like it, but I always makes you feel bad for the thing that's getting killed and the thing that's killing it no matter what. Right. That's what I want. Right.

He's funny though. Like, he was a real stitch in glory when he ordered all the black people to charge the fort and die. That was, yeah, that was pretty funny. Right. He only took comedy roles after that for like 10 years. And I want, and I want David Abbreaux because he would blame all of my failings on climate change.

Oh sure. Oh, it's not because of, it's not because of all the liquor that he drank. It's because of climate change that he can't get as hard as usual tonight. Hopefully he'll stop driving so much and take bicycles so that tick can get his property right should. Yeah. Yeah. Morgan Freeman wouldn't do that. I should probably not. Uh, how you been, Nick?

Oh, you know, pretty good, I guess. Pretty good. Fairly good. Yeah. Really good. Pretty good. I'm fine. What's up with the lawsuit?

Yeah, what's up with that? Oh, fuck me. Well, the judge denied our motion for summary judgment saying it was premature, not the first time that's happened. See, that's what Morgan Freeman would say, not the first time. Not the first time that's happened. Yeah. Why don't you go fuck yourself Morgan Freeman?

But yeah, so now we have to choose whether we're going to appeal that decision and there's plenty to appeal in it. Or if we're going to just soldier on. So that's going to be done in the next 15 days or so. So that's nice. Oh, that's cool. More money to just light on fire. Have you gone to this, the lawyer in your town that took the lawsuit?

Have you met him face to face yet? Have you pulled up? Not after. I met him before this. Yeah. I can't believe he's as retarded as he is. I hope there's a lot of that going around. Yeah.

He didn't seem that bad when I met him before, but apparently I have somehow offended his sensibilities. So that's great. There is a preview coming out at some point. So even though we asked for this thing to stop, it's still going on. So my lawyers and their lawyers are still talking about pending discovery. And in Minnesota, you have to file what you intend to find in discovery, because you can't just ask for everything you have to have a good reason for what you're asking for. And I can't say just yet, because it's still preliminary. But one of the things that they're looking to find the answer for in discovery is so

batshit insane. It's fucking hilarious. You can't say what it is. Not yet. I've said. Yeah, you intimated this on your show that the topic of it is so crazy. I mean, it's it's literal insanity. And I don't know if it's a troll from the like from the other lawyer or if he's literally this fucking stupid to think that his insane client is actually believes this and he's like, no, yeah, this could be happening.

I could tell you in private, I just can't announce it publicly. It's just, it's so ridiculous. Oh, God. So that's part of the next step. But I mean, if this thing gets appealed, it could take, you know, forever effectively. So it's nice. But funny at least is the guy is that monograph guy spurging out online about it at all? No, he's well, he's going to other people's channels who have talked about him and filing. I guess I would assume it's him because it's an issue, but he's allegedly filing privacy

complaints against them to try and get their videos where they discuss him, you know, like being a pedophile. Jesus Christ. Oh, is that the problem? Is the problem that he's a pedophile? Well, I called him that. It's a problem. The problem for him is that for 10 years now,

at least people have been calling him that. Because of how he acts. I mean, he has, you know, he had this photography business called Montagriffy, called I take pictures of naked kids. Actually, that was a thing that came up is that, you know, he took pictures of nude models.

People alleged they were children. And he's like, don't you know that on the form, the parents have to sign it. It's like, that's not a good look. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's what this problem is. Oh, no. That's part of it. the parents said it's okay. So it's like he's got that.

He made this movie called the umbrella. And they have the pictures up. How did they find the pictures? He didn't have the pictures up. I don't think. He put his little stamp on it like ol' and mills. And he basically was talking about how he, you know, he put out ads back when he was doing his photography business, you know, it classified ads for nude models to

do like sci-fi shoots and stuff. Okay. I mean, there are photographers who take pictures of nude children. Sure. That is, you know, not classified as child pornography. Yeah. I don't personally think that's the greatest move. Right. Right. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I think that's in the Bible. Uh, or something. Pretty, pretty good.

My nephew will FaceTime me and underwear it. I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey clothes on or something. Exactly. But Jack had put clothes on top of that, actually.

He also made this movie, which I called a snuff film colloquially because it's a movie of him torturing and murdering what appears to be an underage girl. Now, allegedly, the actress is of age, but just looks young. Yeah. His credit, he's in the movie. His credit is the rapist. So again, I've always wanted that credit. And it is his, his sequel to the machine, the rapist, right?

Adrian Brody. His accusation is that it wasn't a snuff film because no one actually died. Okay, it was just a rape film. Yeah, okay. It was just, it was a pretend, but this move, what I've done is, no, it's pretend. If it was real, it would be very different to what we were doing, right? Yeah. People were doing. And so it's like, you know, this thing, when it came out,

it was, he got banned from like all of the internet for putting out this video that people thought, at first, was real, and it's still talked about it, how disturbing it is and stuff. And I'm like, what? Really? Just aiming you just like calling it a snuff film. And it was, it was is Montagraphy?

That's the weirdest part of the rest of me. Montagraphy. But his photography studio is called Montagraphy. Did you say or did I hear that wrong? Yes. No, that's right. Montagraphy. Montagraphy presents.

Because Montagraphy gets it. Because Montagraphy gets it. So it's like, so that, and oh, I'm also being sued because I called him a retard. Right. If you're posting child rape snuff films on the internet you are a retard. Be very very careful. You see very clear that it's not a snuff film I guess. What is it?

I got to see that I got to see this film. It's called the umbrella man. Okay, the umbrella man. Oh God That's a lot of time somewhere Is this what you guys walk talk about umbrella? Yes, yeah Jim Kovizel personally rescued that girl from I get his JFK issue It's for a brother man. 2016. That's where right. The IMDB.

Oh, is that directed by Michael Grass. Oh, there's a 1983. So there's, okay, there's multiple movies called this or, oh, this is about JFK. Okay. The umbrella man. Let me find Montagrand. Let me just find your lawsuit. Montagrand.

Okay, here we go. Montagrand. Let me just find your lawsuit. Uh, Montagra. Okay, here we go. Montagrave actor, little piggy and the bro piggy and the man in my bag. Oh my, that's insane. His role is rapist. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, This is just a film he made? Yeah, he allegedly it was part of like a series of movies, but the rest of them either he's a trilogy.

Yeah, either the third one or the other two, I don't remember specifically they they couldn't you know, he couldn't get him released for various reasons. Oh, Holly was trying to keep it down. Holly was trying to keep these guys from getting the word out probably. Yeah, I want me to blow their good thing. You want me to send you the link to the internet archival? Of course. Yeah, a little piggy in the umbrella.

That is disturbing. Oh, gross. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to throw up a little and the girls little piggy. Obviously, yeah, why the fuck would he make this? I just, I just little piggy. Okay.

On discord. No, I'm text. Oh, that takes me to take. Yes, I'm not discord. I have to go through a lot of steps to get shit off my phone. I'll just post it in the general chat. Yeah. That's good.

I hate having this just this discord. It's gone now. Oh God. Can you believe this? So the funny thing is like the stuff that, oh, this guy back in December, I think of 2019 or 2020, one of those two, I think it was 2019. Made this unhinged video where he threatened to come to my town and murder me and my family. Of course, as one dollar. And so all the stuff he's accused me of, for like, oh, and I'm accused of sending my followers to track him down and find him where he is or whatever.

And as evidence, he used a guy's video that was, if I'm not mistaken, the footage from that video is from 2016, which is before I had a YouTube channel at all. So it's like, wait, so how did I go, did I go back in time and make my followers go after you before I'd heard of you? So he's nuts. Yeah. There's a lot of this fucking wipe out guy said his whole, the reason I lost Kevin a lander calm is because apparently I went back in time to create this domain just to generate controversy to sell the fucking Patreon.

Yeah. Little piggy. Well, that's quite a, quite a lunatic that you have. Yeah, really. Well, I got it said, and I'm being sued for this too, so I'll say it again. When you get to a certain size on social media, the enforcement arm of the Americans with Disability Act goes ahead and assigns you a retard. Because they have to make sure you're compliant. Yeah, and that all of your content has to be accessible and compliant

with the ADA. And so Montagraph is my assigned retard from the American's Disability Act. And, you know, I guess he just went off the rails a little. I really just bad luck more than anything. Well, if you were assigned, you know, someone else, you could have a great relationship. Could they have assigned you a non-petophile retard? Yeah. I just want to reiterate that they wrote that down in the lawsuit as defamation. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, that was, that's a joke. Like that's, that's, that's a comedic bit. Yeah, you live in, in, you don't live in California. That way, we would do that. That's reasonable to believe we would do here. Right. You are a tariff. Not anywhere else, not in the middle. But that's either Californians with disability's act.

Oh yeah. Just a little of them. Yeah. Okay. There's a lot. There's a lot. I can yuck it up. Laugh it up.

Let's watch a little bit of the little piggy in the umbrella man. This video now, yeah. Great. This video may be highly disturbing. Please be advised. It says, okay. Oh, it's a short. It's 20 minutes.

Music by Tommy Bond Tommy. He didn't give you even give you enough time to read that. No. It's not a very nice plug. OK? Oh no. There's a woman tied up to the wall and duct tape like a Mr. Planket review and then just a shot of an eyeball. A giant shot of an eyeball looking around.

There's a storm. It says written slash produced by Montagrath and all caps starring the monogram impact fonts and music payday nonsense. Great name. Poor name. And one sent a featuring moon child. So the questionably underage actress in this is named child. No, I mean, I guess apparently so. Apparently so.

All right. The umbrella man in all red. Yep. There she is duct taped and struggling. There's hair on a checkerboard. Does she dress on a tablecloth? Is that my breath? That's me. Yeah. Oh, oh, that's hell. Is hair on a checkerboard? Does she dress on a tablecloth? Is that mine for grass?

That's him, yeah. Oh, oh, bro. Oh, that's him. This is gonna be the last thing I see when I get killed. Oh my God, look at that hair. What the fuck? It's like my hair. Those are fucking, he's in some kind of a checkered

gimp mask like Beetlejuice. I could smell him from here. Yeah. Okay. Can we watch this? Probably, I probably can't watch that much more of this, because I'll get sued. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Okay. It's a weird film. I mean, it's very strange. Seems like it. Some people might say it resembles a snuff film or looks mildly pedophilic. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of close ups of his face. Right.

In there. Oh, thank you. Which is either very stylistic because he means it to look like a snuff film. Or, you know, I guess just a product of independent filmmaking because they can't do wide shots because they don't have sets. Yeah, typically. So well, good luck fighting your your retard. It's it's insane. What you have to go through to fight this shit.

Are you a petition to be a petition to be assigned someone else. Can you make a trade? Can you make a trade? Yeah. Yeah. I got a pretty cool reason for options. Oh, who do you have? Well, are you who are you talking about?

Don't you dare besmirch the good name. Chris the Kiwi, I looked out. The game, yeah, good one. We became friends, right? I think we're friends now. See, I would loan that guy money. Yeah, sure. How about that?

Well, you know he's gonna stand you out. I don't call you. That's cute. It was, you know, it was cantillians that was the problem. That's why we were, me and Chris the Kiwi were fighting so much. Now that he's dead, we can finally be caught. It's always a fucking middleman who ruins everything. He was the ex.

We read an advice email from a guy who's hung up on a girl who's who ditched dumped him and then took another man on vacation that they were supposed to go on. And my advice to him was to not kill her. Yeah, I heard the, I heard the like second half of that, but the, I'm stuck on the first part. So he was supposed to go on vacation with this girl that he was dating. Yeah, that's right. And then she's like, actually, bro, peace, I'm going to take Jerry instead. Yeah. Yeah. And then she and Jerry, she gave Jerry his ticket and then they went on vacation. Yeah, that's right.

Right. Where'd they go, did he say? No, they went to Pound Town. Oh, wait, it was her ex. It was her ex. Wait, didn't he say that there was no cheating involved? That's what he says. Yeah, right.

Oh, that's cute. Oh, my God. Poor dude. What do you mean there was no chief? Why would you say broken up? It's not cheating. I suppose, yeah. But he didn't know yet, right? I can't know that he was broken up. He got the memo when she came back. Well, I guess they were still broken up before and they were still, he was still fucking her.

So, and then she's still friends with the ex. I don't know exactly the timeline on it, but it's just become a threple. Just get in there, you know, two guys, one cup. Yeah. Maybe you and the guy are buying you guys could bang each other while she watches her whatever. Yeah, that'd be good. Take her out on dates together, split the costs.

It'd be cheaper for you in the long run. Yeah. So with an MMF throttle, do the two guys split the cost? Is that the gentlemanly thing to do? Or do you make the girl also pay? I think the weaker man has to pay for the whole thing. Oh, this guy's going to be paying for all the food. That's terrible. Yeah, the one guy has to pay for the entire thing. I'm pretty sure in M M M F thrupples.

Yeah, I think, well, the advice to not kill her was good. That was solid. That's a liar. Yeah. Thanks. Spot on. Right. Yeah, but if he could find like where industrial accidents are frequent and bring around vacation there. We're going to the Bermuda Triangle for.

Remember that car that Paul Watson died in? I acted it. We're like, oh yeah, Paul Walker. We're gonna go drive it around the industrial center in Valencia. Won't that be fun? If she should happen to fall down and abandon elevator shaft in an empty warehouse at 3 a.m.

I mean, she's is. Yeah, that's a we're going to the Stair Museum. But I guess if you're in a broken up relationship where you're just, you know, and you do that thing where it's like, well, we're not together,

but I mean, we're going to fuck from time to time. You have to expect that that's going to happen because you're in an agreement that you're not in a relationship. I mean, you're gonna fuck from time to time. You have to expect that that's gonna happen because you're in an agreement that you're not in a relationship. I mean, you may be deluding yourself. Yes. It's usually her that's supposed to be deluding herself there.

Like, let women move. Delude themselves. Right. That works in their favor. Does not work in men's favor. To delude reality punishes men and rewards women for not knowing what the fuck is going on ever. The funny thing is, so he still wants to be with her, like, be with her, but yeah, if he

had done the exact same thing, if he had given her ticket for the vacation to the guy and taking him and they wouldn't fuck each other on the vacation, she would be pissed and she would leave him immediately. Yeah. Right? Like she would be like, what do you mean? You took someone else is like, well, we're not actually together. No, what do you mean? We're not together. We've been fucking for like six months. Are you saying that he should take the guy on a romantic vacation? Is that a sense? That's good advice. He should take that guy to a ballgame, get him licked up, slip him some roofies. Oh boy. Obviously. If you want that woman, you got to be prepared to

fight for her. And by that, I mean, uh, sexually assaulting a man. Yeah. Okay. I'm raping a man. Okay. Or else it's not love. Yeah, cataloging on TikTok too. Hmm. I love my girlfriend. I would rape a man if I for her to prove my love. So what are you going to do? Easy, Sean. You would say the same thing. I'm sure Nick. Obviously you agree. Of course. It's happened several times. So you're committed. Speaking of speaking of two men and one woman, here's Adam 22 giving his wife a car. I'm going to play it right here.

I'm so proud of you doing your first ever BBC scene that I decided that I wanted to get you. So he's really not bothered by everyone making fun of. Right, not at all. I like this guy, by the way. I hate making fun of him, but. I don't know who he is. Adam 22. He's a porn star that would fuck, you know, I mean,

he's a porn star too. He's a porn star. His wife's a porn star and they had a show where they would fuck other girls and then interview them. Okay. And I thought, man, I would give any, I would sell my soul to have this guy's life. Yeah, yeah.

And here we go. Quite the opposite now, Sean, right? You know, be careful what you wish for. Well, it's a, you know, a lot of things are double-edged swords that don't appear to be. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So like the other guy's giant penis. It could be that.

Oh, yeah. Oh my God, someone posted on Twitter, someone was interviewing the guy who banged Lena the plug. And they're like, so who asked for the cream pie to happen? And they're like, well, she hadn't been stretched out in a while, not like this. So my dick was going numb, and I'm just going to town. And I'm not used to that. And know, like I'm not used to that and clearly like she had not been stretched out ready for this. So it just kind of happened. And then the guys like, okay, well, yeah, but then she was like, you know, she's like kind

of getting into it. She's eating it and all this stuff. And he's like, you know, she's in the moment. She's in the moment. So then the guy goes, so do you think you fucked her better than her husband? He says, well, obviously. That's how I do. I was like, Jesus, wow. I can really change your man's life, you know?

I don't really want to be on the show anymore, man. Can you delete my interview of me on your show? I don't want to be associated with this. People are going to want to mitigate it. Yeah. He was like, he's like, you know, it's probably different for her normally because you know, she loves him or whatever, but you know, I obviously, you know, turned it out. Yeah, I mean, for him now, it's going to be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

No, he was just clicking on the Twitter and assert that it had returned to its pre BBC science. He made sure to make that tweet and tell the world how small her vagina had returned to. Yeah, he's really letting everyone know that he's not bothered, which is fine, I guess, but everyone else would be bothered. So it's fucking weird and annoying to us. Here's him giving his wife a Lamborghini.

Something nice, open your eyes. What? This? She's a lot fatter than I thought she would be. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For me? Oh my God.

That was the first thing I thought when I first heard her name like two years ago, because I think it was when she opened her only fans or something. And I have never heard of her. And they're like, lean to the plug. Podcasts her opens this only fans. And I was like, who the fuck is that? I typed in her name into Google. And I was like, oh, I mean, my standards are different.

Yeah, it makes sense when I was making fun of fat women on his show. And when I'm Adam 22, I was talking about strip clubs, how the stages now, they're just at ground level because the strippers are so fat, they pounded them down to the ground and he didn't laugh and he said, oh, actually, I like that. And I was like, all right, well, I guess I'm fucking, well, he's no reliance. I'm stuck in over here. Maybe, I don't know, maybe it's a more serious place for him. It's a place of this business, like a house of worship.

Oh, yeah. You know, you don't make fun of the stage or the, you're, you're disrespecting the, Maybe it's a more serious place for him. It's a place of business. Like a house of worship. You know, you don't make fun of the stage or the, you're disrespecting the. Now I see, now that I see his wife, I feel like, yeah, I would be pissed off if this stripper walked out looking like that. So here's what annoys me the most about this. The way she kisses him, look at this shit. She just bought her a Lamborghini. It's like she wants to be able to shove his face away at any moment.

Yeah. She's got her elbows tucked into her belly button. Like she's protecting against a liver shot, you know, from a fucking from a hook to the body of Vander Holyfield. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming in for a kiss. She's leaning back to the furthest point that physics will allow. Yeah, right.

While he's trying to do this. He's doing the Michael Jackson lean. Yeah, she's got your shoes hooked into some bolts on the concrete and she's leaning all the way back to get away from the smooth criminal video. Fucking fizzed up like this. Oh, yeah, baby, I love you. I love you. What the fuck?

He loses the green line test on this one, I'm pretty sure, right? I mean, it's no longer even a line. It's just a flat on the fucking ground. This is the worst green line that there has ever been. Are you familiar with the green line test, John? No. They take pictures of people and they draw a line for the man's center of mass and the woman's center of mass. The man is leaning. Then he's the, uh, uh, uh,

submissive one in the relation that she's controlled. Right. Because he's following her. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. They always come true. Yeah. The woman will always fuck them over and break up with them. Some interesting, interesting line like that. And this is a, look at this. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. That's, that's, that buildings condemned by building and safety, you know. Yeah.

She's like, yeah. Thank you so much for the Lambo. Get the fuck away from me. I want to know it. It is that body language is really, this is worse than the cucking, this is worse than fucking the, the black porn star to me. It's like you're going to let your you posted that. Yeah. Disrespect.

What is she's going to let that guy drive it? Yeah. They're going to take a vacation in it together. Oh, yeah. Her bank pd will pull him over. Yeah. A second. Oh, yeah.

It's still weird to me at the beginning of the interview they did with the black guy after the thing. And he's like, so he calls me up and says, you know, what's your rate? And I told him my rate's 4,000. He said, we'll give you 10. I'm like, what the fuck? Why? Why? Why are you to make it sexual? Like why? Why? Because I'm so okay with this. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. I want this. I want this bad.

I want to make sure that you fucking ruin money. Money is no object. Oh, yeah. Four thousand bucks. Make it 10. Yeah. Pay them 10. Yeah. For extra cock.

Yeah. What are you doing? I'm so secure and I'm ballin' so hard. Yes, just strange. Like, I've never gone to like our bees and they'd be like, well, your sandwich will be $6. Like, actually, I'm gonna give you 15. Right. It'll be, it's a good idea. Can you just make it just the normal way that you two, too? Like, just how you normally make the sandwich is what I need. Yeah.

Man, fucked up place we live in. Yeah. Uh. God, man. I thought we fucked up place we live in. Yeah, no shit. The world. I do hate how he's getting dog pile. Like they, they posted this weird picture of their kid nursing her and Halloween. Yeah, but they posted their regular count,

which is fine, whatever. I'm gonna pay the kid. They can really suck on her tits, you know. I'll give you two rattles today. Two rattles. Yeah. But then everyone's saying like, oh, that's like child porn. Like, oh fuck, oh, come on.

Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah. Yeah. You know that's fucking weird. The guy is a weirdo, but I mean, that's uncultured. No, it's a baby sucking milk out of the mom's tits. It's not child porn. Oh, no, it's like, if people uncultured. Now, he's sucking milk out of the mom's tits. It's not child porn. No, it's like if people are getting off to that, it's not their fucking, it's not the mom's, it's not the woman's fault, right? You idiot.

Right. Now, there is, there is some other controversy that has come to light from someone allegedly. Yeah. Adam, Adam 22 was involved with someone under age according to this internet post and it had taken and maybe posted pictures of her when she was like 16 or something. This would have been a long time ago. Yeah, he was 23 and she was 16. Oh, you've heard about this.

I have heard about that. And they were in Canada. Uh-huh. No, not really. I don't care about that. Yeah, yeah, no, no, 16. Yeah. It's, you know, it's called adolescence for a reason, you know.

He's 23. Mm-hmm. Ah. I'll probably get hate for that, but. No, probably. Probably. Yeah, most likely. Don't put, take the pictures down.

I don't know if it's, don't look at that. I don't know if it's true. I mean, some guy on Twitter said it, you know, that's, yeah look at that. I don't know if it's true. I mean some guy on Twitter said it You know that's yeah, that's how life goes these days like yeah once you're getting dog Someone says something about you on Twitter and this like oh He did that too. It's like true until proven otherwise, which is sad You have like you have like 24 hours of having fun with something before somebody goes and he's a pedophile No, no, I can't do this anymore.

And it's gone. Let me see if I have some more fun. I got a ton of fat and stuff. If you want to do that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. How about this gender surgery one? We haven't talked about trans shit at all today.

Can a day even go by without talking about trans shit? No, did you even have a day? If you did. I'll wake my girlfriend up at like 11 30 at night. Honey, honey, I forgot. Shouldn't it be only women could play women sports? Yeah, yeah, leaving out of thank God. Okay, okay, I can go back to bed now.

This guy looks like a trans worship pastor at a Christian church. He looks pretty young, isn't he? Yeah. Is he a pink hair? He does have pink hair. He's a surgeon. The tagline says it's an Oregon surgeon discussing the gender affirming surgeries.

Gas. He performs on children. 80 plus. I mean, this is like, man, first of all, don't do that. Secondly, definitely don't go on the internet and make a video of yourself talking about doing it. Early, imagine you're the parent and have somehow been convinced that you need to have gender affirming surgery for your child and you go, like, let's say this guy was not a gender affirming surgeon, just any surgeon and you walk in for the consult and that is

face to face me. And you're like, what is the alarm's going on? The doctor going to come in because like I get that they're hiring, you know, male nurses now very frequently, but is the doctor going to come in because like I know I get that they're hiring, you know, male nurses now very frequently, but is the doctor going to show up at some point? You got any Asian guys that back there that you could send out? I could go somewhere else, but I'm already here. I figured I'd ask. I mean, I'm going to, I am going to have a judgment.

If I see that, I'm going to, it's just, I can't help it. Yeah, because he looks fucked and he knows it looks fucked. So what is he doing? If you're not the best surgeon on earth, don't look like that. Right? Yeah. I wouldn't let this guy pull my teeth.

Would you let him pull your cock? Wow. Okay. That's not a no. It looks like he's probably good at it. I mean, to be fair. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's what you're going to try to make.

He says 80% of his practice is gas. Just don't call it gas. That's not working. And his passion lies in genital surgery. My passion lies in genital surgery. Oh, he did his residency at Auschwitz. 80% of their practice with gas too. Boy.

Wait, looks good for his age. Goddamn it. See, it was. We're not on cozy today. You know that, right, and Hick? Oh, no, where are we? We're on Vimeo. Well, this will be the last day we're on Vimeo.

I'm sure. Wait, there's Vimeo? Well, he was saying it's a bad thing though. Yeah, Vimeo got, Vimeo nuked a Munky Jones' account. Right when Munky Jones got banned, he moved over to Vimeo and they like instantly nuked his account. They're like, you're talking shit about a mass shooter. You can't stay here.

That was the weirdest banning. Yeah, that was talking shit about a mass shooter. You can't stay here. That was the weirdest banning. Yeah, that was, that was a sad one. Like me, you know what it cares if I get banned or fucked with in any way. But I'm on the Joneses nice kid, making up some content. I don't know why he got banned. Has he reached adulthood or puberty yet? Does it matter? He's just, no.

He's forever, he's forever 16, I think, to me. Doesn't matter to the surgeon. All right, let's watch this surgeon thing. Surgeon claims that gender-affirming surgeries. Well, the reason not to call it gas is because if you're conservative, you shouldn't be using their term of gender-affirming surgeries to describe it. Like that's the nice version of that.

You know what I mean? It's, it's, conservatives called themselves racist or Nazis, right? Like they wouldn't, you wouldn't do that, right? So don't use their fucking, idiots, anyway, all right, here we go. Oh, we also claims gender affirming surgeries on children are a, quote, unique challenge

because quote, yeah, we're kind of learning and figuring out what works. Yeah. I mean, really instilling confidence in your clients. Like that's accurate, is it not? I mean, this is very, very new. Yeah. I'm gonna, you know, they say. Yeah. Um, I'm going to, you know, it's they say,

don't well, not even brand new model car when there's a big model change, like a whole overhaul, because it's going to have stuck up the first year. Maybe give it, maybe give it 50 years. Yeah. When there's been killing all these guys for doing this shit, then come back and see what they ended up with. All right, here you go. My practice is gender-affirmative. I'll turn it down. So I do facial, chest surgery and genital surgery, but the majority of my practice instead of where my passion lies is really genital surgery cases.

I do a lot of vaginal plastic and a lot of fallow plastic. This is creepy. A lot? You do a lot of fellow Plasties, and vaginal Plasties. You know, where my passion lies is really child genital surgery. I mean, that's just, oh God,

I can't stop thinking about it. What the fuck? Why would you make this video? Why would you make this video? This has to be fake, right? Well, he didn't say child genital surgery on his passion. Oh okay okay okay. He's he's talking about it. Okay let's while he's still got a he's still got two minutes to hang himself. Let's see. I would just say they're expanding in either direction.

So that's not funny. A lot of adolescents. Oh man I think it's a good point to mention also a lot of people that are like in their 70s, sometimes coming in for general surgery, and then everything in between you. But the adolescents for sure, for gender surgery in your 70s. How are you 70 years old? You're like, all right,

I got this fucking little Wigley and Water Weiner here. Now I'm set. What the fuck? Go to grease or something, huh? Finally I can join the golf club I want to. Are they doing it as a prank? Yeah. Hey honey, they're finally happy birthday.

Finally tired of that bitch complaining. Yeah. No more jokes about my co-guy, chop that fucking thing off. Look, I'm on my period too. Why would a 70 year old do anything? Like even RFK, he's all doing like Roids and shittin' he's ripped. I think, why are you doing work at 70? Who gives a fuck? Exactly. Some unique challenges. Obviously, there's great evidence supporting Peebirtle suppression.

You think they said, hey, let's do another take. And sound gager. You think you can give us like a gay voice that everyone loves so much? You nailed the look. Now we need the audio. Yeah, believe it. Cause there's guys who are just going to have it on their phone.

They're not going to see you and they need to know that you're extremely gay also. We need you to review every conservative nightmare about this subject possible and emulate that in every way. Actually, that would that would be helpful. How many votes do you personally think you want to turn to Trump? 10,000, 50,000? Because we're going to, we're going to max. 10,000, 50,000. We're going to, we're going to max you out, man.

All right. Here we go. He's going to say his surgical scrubs are like rainbow, of course, you know, is the walks into the fucking surgery room. He just has genitalitis is hanging from his wall, like Willie Mays Hayes and Major League. Oh, yeah, like his gloves every time he steals it. Yeah. Sometimes coming in for genital surgery

and then everything in between you. But the adolescence for sure presents some unique challenges. Obviously, there's great evidence supporting Puyberto's suppression for a whole variety of benefits. But the one thing that is very new is genital surgery and someone that is under one pubertal suppression. Not so much an issue in someone with assigned female at birth anatomy that undergoes a fallopasty because we're creating a woman. Is that what he is? Well, yeah, they call tomato tomato.

Female. Assigned. It's so much work to say. I know, I know. I know. Can you imagine how long books would be if we did this forever? We will. Yeah, we will do this forever.

I got a death of being his, Nick. We're losing this one. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Just call him a dumb bitch. You know, presents unique 10

challenges in these dumb bitches. All right. 10 years from now after this guy has killed a bunch of conservative assassins that have been sent after him. He's going to be wearing a necklaces of penises like a dolphin, Ungren was wearing the ears. Yeah. Universal soldier. Send Jim Kavizel in. Does he say he was going to die for God? Yeah, probably. Okay, Jim, what do you think? What's got to think about this guy?

Go do an interview. I mean, something with a free tissue transfer or a flap anyway, but a much bigger issue for an individual that's undergoing a phenomersion, a vaginal plastic. Right. Because we use all of that tissue to basically create VOLVA as well as line the internal Vaginal canal. And as a specialty, those of us that do it for early high volume of GenNable gender affirming for free, you know, we've made what? That's a man. Like- this is all creepy as fuck. Yeah. It's horrifying.

It's just objectively horrifying. I'm not- I can't even- I'm not even sure I'm fine. I should say the next part. So I'm going to just not- No, I'm just going to skip a sit. I always- I- everyone knows that they're watching this show. It's always opposite day on Sunday. So he mentioned- I love the federal government. And I wish I could take all congressmen out for ice cream that had no poison in it. Right. So he says the gender affirming care for male to female, particularly, the young males to young females was particularly challenging.

Yes. I was wondering if it had to do with the fact that you've used puberty blockers and the amount of tissue is definitively less than what you would have if you waited till after puberty. They should be cranking them up on testosterone, get them a big ol' hog. Slice that baby up. It's gonna fucking kill Bossa in here. We're gonna squirt this kid full of so much testosterone, get him a big old ding-dong. I'm gonna saw that shit up and make a big fantasy out of it. Then the

kid comes back and he's like, I don't want that pussy anymore because I'm jacked and I got a big hog. Yeah, you actually just gave me testosterone. And now I actually feel, you know, like maybe there was a different issue than what was going on, but that I thought because I was told by a fucking elementary school teacher that maybe I was a girl, because I had a Barbie for show and tell one day. Like Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. I love the people. You need to really be sure that this is, you need to really be sure that this is the issue. Yeah, and the people doing the like diagnosis slash persuasion are unqualified to do anything. Their public school employees. Yeah, it seems like it's like, you, you,

there's a limit has eight worse than that. I know, I know it's not PC to say. I know it's not PC to say. It's like, they've been saying for years that boys have ADD because they don't want to sit for three straight hours reading a textbook. If I had to listen to a woman to talk for eight hours, I would fucking kill myself. And little boys are doing this. I don't think so. Not happening. Exactly.

And so it's like, I don't trust you on ADD and that is way less important to me than gender assignment surgery. Yeah. Yeah. If I have to go 10 minutes, my girlfriend was telling me this story yesterday where she was walking our dog and the dog,

so I coyote and took off. She chased after it and fell down and got hurt. I got halfway through that story and I'm like, I can you, can you somehow go have gotten lost during this? Can you, can you put it into a tweet? Just, that's, you have 280 letters with spaces to give me this story. I started playing the rap of music from the Oscars.

I saw that on a record. I'm gonna play her off. I'm Kirby enthusiasm. I was like, hold on a second, let me fire this one. Play her off, yep. Okay, let's hear more of what this gentleman has. Maybe doc, couple, a handful of Peabirdleys suppressed adolescents as a field and no one's published on it yet.

Oh, it just you is, we're just putting our first series together as we're kind of learning and figuring out what works. But it's really changing things. Not if it works. It's not a penis. What do you mean? What works, doesn't work?

Can you imagine you go in to get your child, this surgery that you believe they need? And you're like, so yeah, everybody's doing this, right? And like, it's pretty safe. And they're like, well, actually, nobody has published anything on it. So we're doing these surgeries. And we're just doing them and trying to figure it out

and see what works. Like, wait, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, yeah, trying it out is like, what if you screw up? Yeah. All right, here's a lot of good work. Because you don't have enough tissue to line the vaginal canal,

so you either have to take a skin graft or take skin from elsewhere or use artificial products. The way that we're dealing with it is by using a robot, hammer basically performing introdominal components of the surgery. So we're using para-tenam, which is the interlining of the abdominal line.

Man, I gotta tell you, I love my penis. I got a lot of good memories with my penis, but if I lost my penis somehow and I had to do all this shit to get it back, be like, now, you know, I don't find. I'm just gonna do drugs and party, actually. The memory will be better than vaginal. Either way. But this is to get the vagina. The penis is easy. They just, they take the skin from like your forearm, so you can actually, you know, you can, depending on the size of your forearm, you can get a massive cock at it to you. Well, yeah, you can have an elbow in it.

Yeah, just put an elbow in that cock, Doc. What's up? Flop, whatever you call, flap, flaps, or the second water wiener. Most of the vaginal canal, and by doing that, that allows us to use all of the remaining tissue externally to create a vulva and try to make also an aesthetic result. Yeah, boy. But isn't the internal part important?

Like I just don't feel like the lining of the abdomen is going to make the same thing as the inside of a vagina. Yeah, yeah. I don't think any of it is going to be anywhere near the same thing. You think they should get like a federal, an FTC lawsuit, actually, right? Right. You said you're going to give me a penis. This isn't a fucking penis.

Right. I'm suing you. We're all, everybody's suing you guys from this, not a penis. Like if I went to the store and try to buy anything, PlayStation and I get fucking one of those penises, you not a penis. Like if I went to the store and try to buy anything, PlayStation, I get fucking one of those penises. You get a penis. Yeah. I'm suing you, man. You can't fucking advertise that shit. All right. Let's do. Oh, I'm sure there's a lengthy set of documents that they all have to sign. Oh, wow. I mean,

you know, there's got to be, they got to be covered. Okay, let's do my favorite bit. That watch today and that news. Oh, somebody found Winrar Studios found that Kevin Landau's girlfriend worked in the election process. The election, not certifying process. She does not look like someone who works in the election process.

They found her name on a ballot thing, apparently. I don't know. There's a lot of aggressive language in this email. So I don't know. Maybe we should do that one. Maybe we should do that one. Yeah, let's just do that one. Spider says, what the, hey, dick,

what the fuck are women thinking? This is my fiance told me he's not physically attracted to me anymore. I don't know what to think. I have the, well, he's just the one who said it. Yeah, here it is. Let me read this. If I could open it in something. Is this like a Reddit thread? Yeah, it looks to. Let me read this. If I could open it and something.

Is this like a Reddit thread? Yeah, it looks to be. Oh, thanks, Microsoft Edge. Why don't you go kill yourself? Thanks for updating my fucking browser and interrupting my fucking life. Yep, accepting download. Oh, holy shit!

Fuck, why did I try to use this? My fiance, 24, told me 27. He's not physically attracted to anymore. She hit that wall right there. And I don't know what to think. I'm five four, 165 pounds. Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let me try to find. Buh! Buh! You shouldn't be that big of your six four as a woman. Wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw because you're, you know, how, what are you gonna be, eight feet tall? Yeah. A couple inches. Right. I'm 5'4, 165 pounds.

Yeah. God, that's big. I have a bigger bust, but my weight is shit. You have a 70 pound tits? Yeah. Wow. That's unreal. You see how fast I did that math?

Yeah. That's accurate. I have a fast I did that math? Yeah. That's accurate. I have a bigger bus, but my weight is spread out rather than pear-shaped. It's spread out rather than pear-shaped. Like a pancake? Yeah. Spread out. Yeah, what's what I mean?

I mean, it looks fat. Right. My weight's all spread out, so I look fat everywhere from every angle. Even if I put a picture of my finger online, you would be able to see that I'm fat. Right. My weight is spread out rather than pear shaped. My fiance brought this to my attention and approached you. You look out everywhere.

Sorry. He said, but your weight is spread out. You got a big bust, but it's your spread out and you're not pear shaped. Spread out everywhere. Look, I can't ever have room for my dishes on the coffee table. Yeah, get this fucking fat out of here, you know? Bitch, come on.

Yeah, he's like, he's, he's brooming it away. Well, like a, like he's a doggy. He's like, curling. He's got like those tree things all over the house that hold up the branches, just for the fat, so the caverns. I like that she says, she says it is though being pear-shaped would make it okay.

Or better. I have a big bust, but my way to spread out rather than pear-shaped. So if I was pear-shaped, everything would be cool. Oh, it would be, yeah. God cursed me with this shape. My fiance brought this to my attention and I approached and approached the topic respectfully. But now I feel absolutely disgusting. So there is no way to, good way to bring it up. No, no, no, no, no.

Ultimately, no. Because he walked up and he said, babe, I've been taking pictures of you with my camera. And every time I thought, maybe I had the panorama setting. It was just normal. And then I noticed that your weight is really spread out all over you. Google stopped identifying their pictures as you and on this date and changed it to earth. Yeah, grand canyon totally disappeared beyond. But now I feel absolutely disgusting. He says I've gained weight and let myself go. This is really hurtful. I was around, I was around 135 pounds when we met four years ago. Wow, you put on 30 pounds in four years. Yeah. We're getting already squishy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're getting married soon, really soon. And I feel conflicted because I thought no matter what, he would love me and be attracted to me.

Don't they always know that's wrong. Don't they always want to lose weight for the wedding? Who? Women. Well, yeah, they want to. lose weight for the wedding? Who? Women. Well, yeah, they want to. Yeah. She probably did. That's probably the worst part. Yeah, she's probably fucking lying about the weight, actually.

I mean, 172 pounds like blast toys or whatever we figured out. The average woman was the encouraging part of this is that he doesn't have to go wedding dress shopping. He could just order an extra table cloth and wrap it around there. Oh, I feel really conflicted because, yeah, despite stress weight, I thought no matter what, he would love me and be attracted to me, despite stress weight gain. Oh, wow, four years of stress weight gain. Look, there's always a reason that's, you know, the only stress is on the fucking natural force being inserted

back by whatever surface you're standing on. Like, off me, I'm stressed out at work. I'm stress eating for four years. We need a new box spring. Can you do the other type of stress where you're too worried about everything to eat and just shrink back down? Yeah. That's the better stress eating. Yeah. Fellow males, please enlighten me or give me another point of view because how I feel

is not fair. What do I do? Well, stop eating. I'd give her another point of view, but she has to turn around. That'll take 12 hours. What do I do? I want to work out and lose the weight. But is this someone I want to marry? No, don't, no, just to call it off. I got for a bid, you know? Look, number one, oh yeah, no, no, no, call the wedding off. Yeah, never get married.

He did apologize for hurting my feelings and said the last thing he wanted to do was make me feel unloved. Well, that's too bad. He's being honest in what he, there's a, what an idiot, you know, he's, so, I think, I don't know if the last thing he wanted to do was actually make her feel unloved. I feel like the last thing he wanted to do was wake up and realize she was 165 pounds and 5.4. And that's why I told her you're kind of big. Like you just want to let you know you're you're kind of large. You got to start when they're skinny. You got to start hammering that stuff in there. This is a new study concludes that fat women have low testosterone

children. Oh, I don't know. That's a lot of words. Oh, yeah. Thank you for that. Um, um, um, for dinner or like, yeah. Diabris is, hey, Dick, don't read my name on the air whoops, uh, the hospital where I work recently underwent some major renovations among them are newly installed patient rooms designated specifically for accommodating fat people because referring to these fatsoes as bariatric patients seems insensitive The CEOs a bunch of clueless white women told us that from now on we need to refer to these obese patients as

persons of size or POS is to these obese patients as persons of size or POS is. They're short. They didn't intend this to be funny. They legitimately are so sheltered that they want us to adopt the acronym as part of our vocabulary. Oh, that's great. A new POS is getting admitted. Transferred the patient to one of the POS rooms.

That's fucking hilarious. Naturally, we are too happy to play along with this decision and the inclusivity nags who came up with it are are patting themselves on the back for this step forward. Look how quickly it was adopted. Wow, they really what a great role of this term. Yeah. They didn't like any of the other ones that we use for like black people and stuff, but they love this one. Oh, man, they're getting. Oh, they were getting through to them finally. And so funny.

I'm just wondering. It's amazing. God. It's amazing that you have someone fat and you're like, how can I be more sensitive to this person? I know I will refer to them with a moniker that addresses their fatness every time. And I won't call anyone else. It's not like a person of other size.

It's just a person of other size. It's just a person of size. They've gotten so large that their size must be documented in every honorific use. Yeah. I'm just wondering how long before it comes back to bite them in the ass, probably never. So you get some fucking brown nose are going, well, you know what? POS stands for. Yeah, but that didn't happen to people of color, right? Like everyone's like, well, it's just, you just took color people and switched it. Well, I know that's what I had it in. Yeah.

Yeah. It's more dignified. Yeah. I love when black people are, I saw this, I think it was when Nick Fuente has went on fresh and fit podcast. Some people are like, oh, well, there's no, or you got a, how's he saying this stuff, how's he saying this stuff with black people in the room,

right? And they're idea that white people aren't racist for the sake of black people. It's like, no, white people are not, white people don't say racist stuff for other white people. Yeah, that's what they're afraid of. Yeah. Other white people punishing them for an etiqu's what they're afraid of. Yeah. Other white people punishing

them for an etiquette that they invented among themselves. They don't give a fuck what black people think or feel ever. They don't usually make up a lot of black people. Yeah. Yeah. Usually they're not going to be around black people. They're worried about getting robbed. Yeah. This is a game that they're doing for themselves. It's not for you. I don't know why you thought, I don't know who told you was for you. You have been reading some crazy stuff. Okay, here's, here's a video that Beach Hook has sent in about fat women getting sunburned. Okay. Some days we can walk more than 11 miles in its 95 to 100 degree heat in the summer. Katie went to first aid in Magic Kingdom. What did you say Nick?

I'll turn it up. I said you can't walk 11 miles. I can't even see her. Oh, I see her leg. Yeah, she cannot walk 11 miles guaranteed. This is a, I think this is another review of a theme parks. Somebody forgot to go to Costco and get sunscreen. That is not enough.

Hello. to go to Costco and get sunscreen. That is not enough. Aloe. Some days we can walk more than 11 miles in its 95 to 100 degree heat in the summer. Katie went to for nautical miles. That's longer. It's longer. But that was on the line. Yeah, that's a state at Magic Kingdom.

They recommended alo jala in Cortezone to apply directly to your legs. This definitely helps, and we also recommend elevating your legs, especially when you get back to the hotel room. They got a clay more mine to shoot it on. Ah, ah, ah! Like a delousing champion.

Oh my God. Imagine having to elevate those legs. You have to have a structural engineer. I can tank coming in. Why is she, oh, I guess, oh my God, her belly cast so much of a shadow that she only burned on the lower shins. Oh, yeah. Are these feet created by AI?

What direction? The kind of knees. She kind of looks like a bird. Like the knees are kind of backwards. Yeah. This is one of those action shots where they do the burst. This is like a 20 frames per second right after this. She was collapsing.

This is just the last one before her feet gave out. Where's the scooter? It's so bad. Well, they're probably, they are, there's probably a couple of them there. Yeah, they're scooters. Seriously. Oh, yeah, they're off to the side. Vito took a scooter at Disneyland. Did you know? The Vito. He went to Disneyland and he got a scooter. His friend had a scooter. So he didn't want to make her feel bad. So he got one, but he said the whole time he was there

he was thinking, I got to do this in a row. But I can't. It doesn't see me. Oh, I'm screwed. I'm going to take a picture. Yeah. How is it here? Yeah, because a dick had caught Vito getting caught shoplifting at Target. He works at Target, like in loss prevention, and fucking found the footage of veto getting caught shoplifting magic cards and

no uh... this year uh... what did you do that because he's uh... because he wanted to steal them you don't want to pay money for them but then he got caught what the uh... security guard caught him trying to steal the magic cards and made him put them back

and veto is like oh i don't know how he's got any of the talk to this and the fucking idiot senate a to Vito and not me. Oh, I would have played it right away. You know, Dick, I didn't want to pay $5 for magic cards. So I put him in my pocket. I ain't, what are you doing? Oh, Jesus Christ. Stealing is fun.

You's fucking kids. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So that's his fear now that someone in the audience will see him doing any of this stuff and Narcana. Well, maybe that's a good fear. Yes. All right, here are the these women are experiencing a sunburn for the first time in their lives. I recommend elevating your legs, especially when you get back to the hotel room. A cold compress or a cool shower will help lower your body temperature and may alleviate

some of the symptoms. We've also recently discovered that it only affects the area... Symptoms of exercise? What? Sunburns. Oh, sunburns. Sunburns. Because they're uncovered.

This means if you wear longer pants, you might. We've also recently discovered that it only affects the areas that are uncovered. This is just a way. Oh my God. You can only get sunburned on the areas that are uncovered. Brick work. Wow. We've recently discovered our fat scientists are working on the clock and they've discovered

that you can only get sunburned on uncovered areas. Yeah. Well, when your hard break is 23 and a half hours out of the day. It's hard to find, to make sure you have all your areas covered. So make sure you have a coven to help you. Jesus Christ. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, sorry. I got to run. I got to go pick up my kid.

Thanks for letting me hang out. See you, Nick. It's good talking to you. See ya. See ya. All right, man. Peace, good bye. Yeah, be cheap.

That is difficult in Florida because it is very hot, but it might be worth a shot. We got that for long. Others also recommend compression socks and IB profaner, Nebroxan. We hope these tips help you have a great time. Is that all the tips that you have for a more comforting, for a more comfortable Disneyland experience, that's it. Yeah. Advil, Aloh, no other tips at all.

I know. Not one. Not losing 20 pounds or 200 pounds, that's it. Just Aloh and compression wear. You know, so tight that you, depends how much time, time you have to plan for the Disneyland trip. Ha! There's always another one. There's always another one. Right around the corner.

There is always another one. All right, everybody, that's the Dick Show Patreon.com slash the Dick Show. I'll see you next Tuesday. Oh, wait, there's a song I have. Really? By Todd Sidel. Oh, okay. That's a name we haven't heard in a little while.

Yep. Let me fire this bad boy up. Hey, Dick, I kind of sort of started fucking with music, and I got a song here just for you. I used some clips of you from the podcast last week with you talking about gold diggers. I posted it here. Still loving the podcast. Peace. In spite of it all, yeah. Still loving the podcast. Peace. In spite of it all. Yeah, still like the most. There's nothing inherently wrong with gold diggy.

Until it you give them money, we're gonna have their tents propped up, they're fucking next, are you calling about it? You're at the bar, flash your money, taking a stack of fucking hundreds, put a bunch of fucking hundreds out there, we are, put on the bar, shine stack of money, checkin' stackin' fuckin' hundreds Put a bunch of fuckin' hundreds out there Way out, put it on the bar, shine and stack a money Like to order a drink, plant a plump They'll pretend like they don't understand what they all want us All of them pray we know what the money is for You did it, did it, did it

All you have to do to protect yourself from cold diggers Is not keepin' the money That's roll number one All you have to do Is not give them any money ever. The bad thing about bull diggers is the man giving them a lot. Bull diggers are so damn sick. They have no hands out, kill us. They'll just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, they'll just take, take, take, take, take, take, they'll just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, they'll just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take And you don't like it, any of them money. Don't ever kid yourself into thinking that you're the on-gold diggers that you can trust.

They're not, they're all the same. We don't try to convince you that there is, there are bad versions of them, and that they are the good ones. They're not, assume they're bad. It's all marketing lies. Question everything. Say for that one. Yeah, it's safer.

Should I get a lot of money? Oh, I'm a huge gold digger. Awesome, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm not giving you a fucking dime. Oh shit. Awesome, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm not giving you a fucking dime The Todd side L Go Sunset that song that beat How do I how do I dim it? I'll do it, you'll do it. Yep. I can go away.

I found it. Here we go. Here we go. There we go. There we go. Wow. Fading. It's from Leo Moonshine.

Now you said you wanted voicemails by video. So we thought we should test it out. Okay. Oh, I'll be down. Okay. Well, let's see this. This is the first ever video voicemail. Are you as excited for this as I am? Um, this is the first ever video voicemail. Are you as excited for this as I am?

This is the first on this show. Real, perhaps in podcasting period. Let's see what we got here. Testing, testing, what? Well, that didn't work. Okay, let's just crash. Do not send a note to the developers team. Testing, testing, one, two. Come on. What the fuck is going on here?

I think that's the video. No. How is that? How is it possible that everything fucks up? Constantly. Oh my, oh my good Lord. Can I put this on? I don't know. Can I put this on? I don't know. Can I put this on television? Not sure. I don't hear anything.

I heard that testing thing before. Wait, wait, wait, there it is. Yeah, there's no nipple. Jesus Christ. Look at the size of these tits. All right, all right, here we go. Testing, testing, one, two. He's got it all mixed into one channel too.

I love that. That's, that's our love. Everything I'm seeing, if you're just listening, there's a giant set of tits here with silver nail, a pair of hands, a silver nail polish holding them up. This is the first ever video voicemail. This is what I meant with video voicemail. Don't send me a video of yourself if you're a guy talking. That's not what I meant.

Okay. One of you tried to pull that off, so fucking do that. Don't get me excited and I love the video up and is a fucking man looking back at me. You know voicemail, you said we should send in video voicemails. Yes. So let me know if it works. Mama me.

Yeah, I guess. Wow. It works. Woof. I don't know if we're gonna top that one Let him let him compete Oh to Lally all right, woof Wow Jesus I've seen what you've done for others and I want you to do that for me my god. Thank you for the voicemail Okay, what else do we have here?

Why does it keep crashing? What the fuck is going on? Hey, Dick, this is Scar. You know, it really makes me a rage as of late. It's this whole 10 seconds is groping thing. You know, up on the news, and everybody is just talking about the stunning and powerful TikTok-talkers on

a website who are groping themselves in protest. Oh, is that what they're doing? Nice. Nice. You know, we need to somehow repeat this, getting women to now just start flashing us. We got to retrieve the nipple. Women will do the sexual things in protest to make a lot of effort. They're mad about something.

So we got some to free their nipple. We got some like, broke themselves in front of us. Now we need to find a way to get some of the stuff that's taking their asses. Okay. Tom, like I said, flash Friday. That was great. I was thinking we try to get a woman fired by having her like, ass to go, I don't know, but we're going to get this to work.

No, you know, we got to do, this is where I'm going to text Nick Fuentes. What we got to do is we got to have a Trump people and anyone like white white white nationalists say we hate women Giving blow jobs. We fucking hated There's anything I hate if there's one thing I hate more than interracial marriage It's women blowing guys the old reverse psychology. Yeah, that would be pretty good. I think Okay What's up, Dick?

What's up, Sean? What's up? Good for self-slitches. Thank you. Probably this happened to me tonight. That has probably happened to me in the middle of the world. That has happened to me in one point of life. But in the middle of a romantic encounter, I went through that to making a girl cry in my passenger seats and probably record time.

I bet it happened in under a tube of it. Oh, yeah. It's about how it happened. It's not heavy. There were parts of bodies, not genitals and other parts of bodies, genitals. And probably utterly uttered phrase. Some of them said it. I just heard it. It was only me and her eyesight. I don't know what happened. Just say what happened. Someone said, someone was not as intelligent as the average person and game. What is this?

What is this guy's problem? Quite about it. I don't know. Someone, somewhere I said, called her dumb, called the girl that you're hooking up with, dumb. Okay. For sure that.

And the word for meaning like a horror, I call her a dumb slide. I call her a dumb slide. While my three of my fingers were inside of her, uh... or i i thought it dumps like while my three of my fingers were inside of her and and second and finally registered

what i had said and it was get the fuck away from me drive me to my car and i said okay and immediately the voice memo recording app

for plausible deniability yeah and, that's smart. I'm probably never did a texture again. I'm going to wait for her to reach out to me, even though I'm stupid. Slot. Get the fuck away from me. Yes, I learn no matter. And I we've fucked before. We've fucked many times. I am. less than a handful, but a couple of times. So what the fuck is this guy's problem? I don't know.

Had sex with the girl many times, don't throw out the stupid threat card. Why would you be saying that at all? That's right. I have no one girl that wanted to be called that. She was fucked up. Yeah, it's a that's not normal. Right.

Yeah, you don't normally like volunteer that. That usually is a take that you stupid slut. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her.

You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You don't tell her. You're bad at your job. Who dreams are dumb? What the fuck? Oh, yeah, take that. You stupid slut.

What the fuck? Everything for craftination might be a good thing. I wonder this more often. What I mean is, do you ever see how desperate people are? How much they truly despise one another? Yes. And how much they just want to take violent retribution? Right, but they don't because they are. I extrapolate this from my own delph. These are my feelings. Okay. Yeah, sure. I think I see them reflected everywhere. Yes. Yeah. But then I think all the time is like,

why aren't there more mass killings? I think that I know people want to do it. Yeah. How do we only have one every couple of months to every time the year, whatever it is, right? I think it says they're putting it off. It's just the hate. The hate being.

The jealousy and the hatred and the bitterness everywhere but you know most guys are walking around in the cell most of us are an in-cell almost all the time almost every one of the time right and we fucking hate it like i want to kill you right now to talk about it yeah that's i understand that why people not killing each other all the time because they're getting that i that. Just procrastination. Could be.

Don't be a fucking wrong. No, I'm not wrong. They're putting it off. They're like, well, if something gets even worse, then I'll definitely. Right. I'll wait till the new year. I'll say it to you.

Yeah. Yeah, then I'm going to, then these guys will be so. When I turn 50, watch out. If only I had cancer, then I had really let loose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing to lose. I just need nothing. I got too much to lose. Right. Over here. Yeah. With my... You know, it's being taken from you all the time.

With my trinkets and my trash. Very little to lose. And my health insurance. I got health insurance. That's, I got that going for me. I don't want to lose that. But if there was a case where I didn't have health, then... All bets are off. Right. Um, this mouse is fucked. But if there was a case where I didn't have help then all bets are off right

This mouse is fucked All right one more then I get to get out of yeah me too Oh, let's do a war game one come on war pieces shit Just hanging there for one more. Yeah, the latest installment of ask your mom, wife, or girlfriend. Great audio. For the Revolutionary War, I got 1840. For the war, I got 1890. Okay. For World War I, I got 1901.

For World War II, I got 1960. And for the Grand Valley, I got the year 2000 for the V sound part. Amazing. Oh, you're Vietnam part. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. So what, the closest ones were the Civil War and World War One.

She was late on the Civil War and early on World War One. Because it's just them. At least she got the right century. Yeah. But it really is just asking women to pick a number and then average in their minds how to split up other numbers because they had no idea how concept of when it happened, right? It's really, I guess it's really just wild to me. Yeah, but thank God I thought of it. I guess how, yeah, how, you know, how much does it honestly help you in life to know that not knowing when any of the major?

I mean like conflicts on earth happened like I think it's a big I think I like knowing it. I mean What I think it it comes into play when you look at how women vote and it's like overwhelmingly Liberal and you go like overwhelmingly liberal, and then you go, well, none of that shit's gonna work. None of that shit that you wanna do is gonna help. And it's proved by all these historical things. Well, yeah, that's the, but you don't know any of them,

and you don't know when they happen. That's why you think that's gonna work, and it's fucking not gonna work. Well, I think, and I do stand by, I think if you don't know history, you don't know shit. Yeah, I honestly believe that. And I think people, a lot if you don't know history, you don't know shit. Yeah. I honestly believe that. Yeah. And I think people, a lot of people don't know history. If it's like, it's nothing's unprecedented. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like it's done in a different form or it's accelerated or whatever. But if you don't know history, you don't know shit. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen this whole religious thing happen. I know where this goes. Yeah. Can you guys fucking stop doing it? Right. Okay. Okay. Thank you. thing happened. I know where this goes. Can you guys fucking stop doing it? Right. Okay. Okay, everybody. Thank you.