The Dick Show - Episode 37 – Dick on Skating

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

Download the MP3 The war on white people, Dr. Manhattan’s dong, drunk children, a Shangri-La of hot, available women, a parade of the awkward and a life spent trying not to hurt people, Clegg blames me for everything, violence in bars, stories from the trolling front lines, The Enigma rides again, more pieces of the … Continue reading "Episode 37 – Dick on Skating" The post Episode 37 – Dick on Skating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Yeah Presenting Yeah Yeah Yeah Welcome to dick You need dick, you want dick, you love dick, you got it It's the show,

where everything is a contest. I am your host, Dick Masterson, with me as always is Sean the audio engineer. Hello, Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? It's the only show where you can get the comedy, audio, rational man, stylings of Sean the audio engineer. Coach is with us as well.

Coach, did you know that? if you tune into any other podcast you will not be able to hear Sean dropping his pearls of wisdom Oh, that's good. That's good. It's incredible. Yeah exclusive access you have to Sean on this audio podcast I always felt like his you know energy was a little spread then It was. It was. He had to radically change gears. It's like Sean was like going from, he was like a teacher.

And in one class, he's got special ed. And then the very next class is quantum poop physics. So he's got to change gears radically from dealing with complete retards. Excuse me, completely specially able people and then come on this show and radically change gears into quantum poop physics. Well, retard means to end slowly in Italian. Yeah.

So we can say that. We can't say that. Well, it's our our I in Italian. Is it really? How many Italian words do you know? One. Yeah, one. Just that. This is the show that comes to you from a bunker, a concrete bunker in the

side of a mountain. It is true. It is true, coach. It comes from a concrete bunker in the side of the mountain for your protection, because it's so hot with crazy ideas that all these I listen, I thought last see last week, I thought that the concrete bunker would serve to protect us from the anti fascists. But it's a, you know, they, they come to you, the anti fascism people come to you with their boots and their sticks, their bayonets. And if you are, if they think you are a fascist, they will stab you and smash and smash you

down and kick you. Because just in case, just in case you might be a fascist, that's when they're doing it for your protection. We need to build a wall around Hawaii. Sean, like if you, that kind of, you can't even joke about being a fascist like you've done just there. That's it. We'll stop you right into the ground, Sean, with that.

But now I'm thinking, now I'm thinking the real reason, because the bad, the bad man has changed. The boogeyman this week is different. The real reason we need this bunker is to protect you white people. There, have you, you guys, you're in grave danger. That's why, and this is all white people. This is the, this is the future that's in America is the anti-fascist or all, they're all going to get white men, excuse me.

What, the women are fine. If you're wearing a pink hat, you're fine. You can just say your woman, you could avoid it. But if you, if you're like you guys, just a regular're woman, you could avoid it. But if you're like you guys, just a regular white man, you're gonna be in this bunker, and I'm gonna be up on the first floor like in glorious bastards,

when the anti-fascism police come around, they're gonna go, you got any white men in here? I saw a Netflix, they're talking, I'm supposed to be doing this. It's a big war on, you got any fucking white people in here, you motherfucker? I'm gonna be like, of course not. Why I you got any fucking white people in here. You motherfucker. I'm gonna be like, of course not. Why I'm not housing any white people in here. Are you kidding me?

No, there's no, I've never even met a white man. Never in my life. A hundred years from now, someone will be reading a book called Diary of Life Coach about, yeah, about your time. Are you hiding me in your bunker? Hold up in the bunker while the anti-fascism squads are can you do you know what I'm talking about do you know that there's a show dear white people. Did you know how hated you are. You know what's funny. You are bad guy number one Sean because you're almost the white

as person I know. Yeah. Yeah. Who's the other one? It's the guy who's a quarter Mexican is wider than I am. He's wider than white out. Yeah. Man, he's so white that his eyeballs glow in the dark at all times.

Like a monster. Right. Red. Yeah. He chases you around. He's so white, he can walk right through a wall. He has so much privilege. Not even physical objects can stop his white privilege.

He will pass right through a wall. That's how white he is. Teams of minorities are knocking down walls, so he doesn't have to go around buildings. He's like, he like rewrites their history as he passes them. He's so white that he has this cloud of like back to the future style history, rewriting, where he'll just, all of a sudden you'll be impoverished

if you're a minority around him. You're like, you're a general, you'll, he'll go generations back through the timeline. He's so white, he just wipes it right out. He pulls in all of your privilege and then he walks right through a wall. Well, he's an art student. That's how, what's my doctor Manhattan?

Yes, he's a white doctor Manhattan. He's like, doctor Manhattan, except he's white, he's a gigantic and white. And He's like Dr. Manhattan except these white, gigantic and white. And his winner is, Dr. Manhattan was a giant blue guy with a way too big of a blue penis in the movie, The Watchman. Oh, yeah, that guy. I didn't know.

And in the whole movie, every dude in the audience has become another character though. I want to call him something different. Dr. Manhattan, yeah, but doesn't he turn, when he turns into the superhero, where he turns into a man. Yeah, he turns into turns into any the poo at the end of the movie. Oh, turns out to be a prequel to John. You have a lot of opinions about a guy you just asked who it was. I just asked. I know it is. The whole movie.

They made this fucking movie. The watchman. Coats like a three hour beautiful masterpiece of a like a it was it was the last time that anyone was ever excited about a graphic novel adaptation. Now when I see that on the on the movie trailer, I'm like, uh, get fucked. What about that erotic story from last week? That wasn't a no, no, no, no, a graphic novel is an adult word for comic book. That wasn't big. That's what they say based on a graphic novel. Okay. Not a comic book. Okay. You can't see. No one would pay $20, $50 to go see a movie based on a comic book, but a graphic novel, Sean. That is, where, how much culture can I get for this graph? That movie, that movie was about a giant blue man.

Yeah. So Dr. Manhattan, in the the whole time through that movie, all every dude in the audience was thinking was, when number one, are they gonna show his winner? Like, because he's naked, because he's a metaphysical being. Dr. Manhattan. Right, he doesn't need for clothes. He's made of energy. Yes, he doesn't need for a penis either.

Right, right. But he's still a man. So he wants to have that penis. And I think Dr. Manhattan went a little overboard on the penis department. He's like, you're not aroused and your blue penis is that long. Well, he's doing it ironically.

Oh, you think that's too big. He's messing with you. It was too big. It was way too big. It's your problem. And that's all anybody wanted to see the whole the whole movie and then they show it. And I think, come on, give me a break. Why couldn't you like statue of David this? Dicks like, yeah, like the Goldilocks of penis sizes. I mean, it had to be the just the right size. Little too small, would have been a big, little big, would have been too big. It's bullshit, necks.

And then I go see the statue, if that was the real, that was the genius of Michael Angelo, that he made the penis's... Michael's gotcha. Just right. He just right. So you feel better about yourself with your new name. No, no, no, no, no, it's not better.

I'm fine with the size of my penis. Because by the time they get your pants off, it's too fucking late. It doesn't matter how big your penis is. That's true. But I want to see, I just a shade on the underside of funny. That's the genius of Michelangelo that he would sculpt. He would sculpt these beautiful works of funny. That's the genius of Michelangelo that he would sculpt. He would sculpt these beautiful works of art. And then it came to the penis. And he could have just obscured it completely,

but he didn't. Right. He took the time to craft out a silly funny penis on the statue of David. But Dr. Manhattan, no, no, no class, no artistry at all. Giant blue man, giant blue dick. Actually, to be serious, that's actually pretty interesting, because Manhattan was a little, you know, I don't know what to do. Loppy and Wiggly. Like way too. Well, like you've got a salami down there. Wiggling it around. Opposite of an artist, like, you know, very analytical, right? Yeah.

Artistry about them. No, it's a Philistine. Okay. What are we talking about today? I'm already off on a penis rant. We got a bonus episode. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot.

We're going to be talking about this penis rant. I think they trick you. These movies trick you into thinking about a dude's dick and wanting to see a guy's dick for a it's a it's a three hour movie. It's a three hour movie of comic books. And the entire time is they're tricking you into seeing a guy's weiner. That's the whole movie and it really fucking makes me a rage. We've got coaches here. We've got a bunch of people who want coaches advice. Oh great. They want you to be their life coach. There are three people that are going to compete to be your life coach. You've got tremendous advice. That's we're

going to do that on the bonus episode after this one. Okay. Clegg is calling in. Yeah, right. Clegg is, you know what happened after the last episode? Clegg, David Clegg is calling in. Yeah, right. Clegg is, you know what happened after the last episode? Clegg, David Clegg, this guy that called me up. Yeah, he's been a while. It's been a while. You haven't been here since the giant rapist meltdown. Have you coached? I don't even know if this guy's real or not.

Well, look, we're going to talk about it. Clegg's calling in, Hayes and Cruz with the troll Cruz climbing in, but let me first let me tell you what makes me a rage. I got a, I got a dick tip. I got a dick tip, maybe, maybe bigger than any other this time. Because we know my, we know my tips on women and how smart and effective they are,

the shoes, ask about their dad, stuff like that, but here's the, you know what, the shoes really is genius. It's really, it will never lead to a bad conversation. I mean, you could take it bad afterwards, but there's never going to be a negative reaction from that. And you could just keep talking about it. You don't have to grow the conversation at all. You just get more info about them shows.

Yeah. Tell me a little bit more about it. It really is. I love it. I might be the best advice you've ever given on the show. Okay. Here is the next best advice. Okay.

Because what do we all want? We've we have all the we've got all the lines in the world. We've got a whole arsenal of lines and game that we've got stored up, right? We've been practicing our lines as men. We've been practicing our lines for years. We've been hitting on everything just to try out our, we hit on the dog. We hit on our, we hit on everybody all the time, just to refine our skills of seducing women, right? We're wearing clothes that we would never wear in a million years.

Our entire, this is coach, I'm looking at you, you're married, you're wearing what we want to wear, a sweatsuit that doesn't match. And it looks like the sweatshirt was free. It looks like it was a promotional item from a company. That's what we want. I stole this from a roommate. Yes, we wear stolen clothes with our roommates name written on the inside. That's how we want to install this from a roommate. Yes, we wear stolen clothes with our

roommates name written on the inside. That's how we would like to look, but we don't do that. We wear things like like ties and suits and shoes to impress women. And we cultivate this, this, this, this person, this, this, this bangleable person. We do all this work, but where do we go with it? Where the hell do you find these women? I have found the Shangri-la of single smoking hot chicks. I'm telling you, this is not an exaggeration. If you want to go to a place where there are where the women flock like the salmon of Capastrano, where there that you cannot throw a rock without hitting a beautiful woman.

Where the beer flows like wine. You will accidentally run into it. It is. It is. Hear me out. Hear me out like the shoesign. Does it ask pin? It's a skating rink.

Oh, okay. On, on Sean. Where did you go? Did you go on the one in Burbank? I went to a skating rink. No, no, no, no, no, no, roller skating. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're gonna go to a skate. Shake, shake, shake, but roller skate.

Whole 80s girl. You went to the one. Valentine's Day. You went to the one on, in the one that's in every movie. Cause it's like the only one that's like, if you see a roller skating rink, where, what do you mean? In a movie, it's always that one. You went to the one down's in every movie, because it's like the only one that's like, if you see a roller skating rink, where, what do you mean? In a movie, it's always that one.

You went to the one down on San Fernando, nobody was really, what is it? Yeah, the Starlight line, the movie. Starlight, really that's in every movie? Yes. Oh man, that's where they shoot them. A's girl wanted to go to this thing and I was thinking, what a,

she was talking about that actually. Yeah, it's a cheap, cheap Valentine's Day, yeah, date, right? Like, well, God, what a score that I could get out of this day for under 30 bucks. That is cheap. That is cheap, great, right?

So I'm thinking, in my mind, I'm thinking that this is gonna be a, like a dead, this place is gonna be completely dead. There's gonna be nobody, because who the hell goes to skating rinks? Yeah, you know, nobody. I've never, I've never in my life have I said, I wanna go to a skating rink.

No, I have a rule that supersedes your rule. Okay, hold on, no. Hold on, no, because we, man, we get there. And it is packed. Okay. With it is packed with brats. Like, I'm talkings like I'm talking about I'm talking about Halter tops their size size zeros as far as the eye can see skinny every

Jeans that are painted on shorts shorts with those little white outlines on them You know the kinds of shorts I'm talking about not only that But the guys that are there are like either they're either doing, they're either figure skating. They're either like the silliest man you've ever, I don't know what to call it, how to conjure up that image without being a professional silly pants who goes to a, who's there at a roller skating rink, you got 20% professional silly pantses at a roller skating rink, like flipping around and doing silly stuff,

and then you got 20% are probably pedophiles. Who are going? Oh my God, that is exactly what I told the person I was with the last time, years ago, the last time I was at it, we did exactly the same thing, not for Valentine's Day. It was like, I'm looking around and I'm like, there's a bunch of fucking pedophiles in here.

Yeah, skating like, I'm watching for kids leaving with like a strange adult so I can stop it. No, thank God all the children are scattered around the side, sobbing because they can't skate and they keep getting clipped by these silly pants is going around. But going around, going around the thing, I wish, I wish Denzel was here because his ass has got to get to a skating rink as

quickly as possible. Like you're there. The entire time. The entire time. He's on, that's his, that's his deal. Right. He's looking for girls. And he's on, he's on Tinder.

Like we went, he had the weirdest short term, not even relationship, like I've ever heard of. Dude, because like, where they went out, like for like a period over a period of what? Like a month, six weeks, something like that. Long time. She wouldn't even take a drink that he offered her, thinking she was gonna get roofied or something.

It was the most bizarre thing. No, that's a typical Tinder experience. Is it really? Yeah, before we went to the skate rink last night, we're at dinner, I mean, A's girl, like this nice, kind of a nicer restaurant. A hell of a lot more expensive, I fucking skating rink.

We could have escaped with McDonald's and $30 skating, but stupid me. There was a couple next to us having dinner, obviously a Tinder hook up. And this chick is talking about, she's talking about all the strippers they hired for the last bachelor at club party that she planned. And the guys like, okay, what, you know, this is my stop. Like that's, this is the normal, this is the normal tinder fair that you will get. A woman who is the opposite of a geisha, the women that are like trained on how to converse with you, like over, like, like how to handle one side of a conversation that isn't like compulsively spewing out sexual degenerates, like, oh man, let me tell you about

the first time I suck the guy, like, oh my God, can you, this is aates like, oh man, let me tell you about the first time I suck the guy, I'm like, oh my God, this is a first date, lady. This is a nice establishment. What the fuck are you talking about here? That's a tinn- skating rink. Totally different story, man. And the best part is, you don't have to talk,

you just go around, you go around, and you give them the all, hey, you give them the all, hey, what's up? They're all 18, of course. You understand, everybody there, because I wouldn't be doing this to anyone under it. No, that would be, you're checking IDs at the door. Someone is, I'm sure someone. So, someone is, there's the obvious children

and everybody else is over 18. So, you go around, you go around, and you give them, you can give them the old nod, right? You give them the old nod, and if you fuck it up, you just go around and you give them, you can give them the old nod, right? You give them the old nod and if you fuck it up, you just go around again. And you're like, you go around again in a little fake mustache and you're another guy. You're another guy. That's the beauty of it. No, there's no talking, there's no lines.

You don't got to figure out what to say like about the drink that they're drinking. You don't got to make excuses about why you're drinking at this, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, it's untouched. It's totally untouched. Wow. It's totally untouched. I wonder how many towns across the US have roller skating ranks. Well, a lot of them get shut down because of the violence. Really? Are you serious? Are you serious? Yeah. You guys don't know about that? No. Why? Because everybody wants to like roller derby? Well, no, do you guys know that like all ages parties are a lot more violent than 18 and over and 21 and over parties?

Do you know what that, what do you mean parties? Oh, like clubs. Yeah. There's a lot more violence at those. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, so here's the thing. Yeah, because roller skating rinks are usually all ages.

Yeah. That's where all 18 hoodlums goes to start trouble. They're like, anywhere in a shitty, they have to have massive security. That's if they don't get shut down. Aren't there like, aren't there more common all ages places than a fucking roller ring? No, this is the problem about, this is the ultimate problem about. Aren't there like, now meeting girls? Aren't there like, family fun centers like those.

These aren't people with families like many gone. Well, no, that's what I mean, but all ages. Yeah, or mini golf or whatever. I don't know what I think that's probably there. I think that's like six, like 16 year olds. So what you're saying four year olds are starting fights. Yeah. There was this four year old at the skating rink we went to with a do rag smoke in a pretending to smoke

a joint. He was had a rolled up piece of paper and people kept coming over and try to take it from me. He's like, no, this is a piece of paper that I got him. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of kids, by the way, I figured this out. We're waiting in line for, because I always wonder, how is it that we had so much fun as kids and not only that, but how were we able to just get through the day without liquor? Like, how could we get, how were we able to hang out and have so much fun as kids with not one drop, not one drop? I always, so I go to this because life hadn't beaten you down yet. You know what it is. I think I think you start drunk. Like when you're a, you're a baby, right? They always say that toddlers, they act like little drunk people who all of a sudden

they're emotion swing. Yeah. And the best time and then they're in a huge crying, screaming, lying on the floor kicking fit. And the older you get, you need like a little bump of stimulus to get you back up to that drunk state because we're, we're waiting in line. And no shit, this little weirdo comes out. This little, I don't know, he must have been like 10 years old. Was he a retard? No, he was a normal guy. He was just a normal kid. He comes stumbling out of the skating rink, like with his parents in tow. And he comes up to me and goes, hey, hey, I just got to say, I just got to tell you, if you're heading in there for a party, and I got like the sensation that I get when a drunk

guy comes out of a bar and starts telling you about how good the bar is. It's the real story. This is where this happened last night. And he comes up and he's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, my man, he comes up to me and starts in with his routine of hey, hey, hey, my man, my man, my man, my man, 40-year-old. Like with his arm around me, I ain't 80s girl,

hey, if you're going in here for a party, I just, I gotta tell you something. I can't recommend this place enough about for a party. You're gonna have a great time. This little, this happened. You're gonna have a great time. So I'm looking down at him like,

now I'm realizing that I'm being an asshole because I think he's, I'm acting like this is a drunk person coming out, but it's a 10 year old. No, he loves it. He's been genuine. Well, yeah, but he's also drunker than hell. Like he wouldn't pass a sobriety test talking about the skating rink. He's stumbling around. So and his parents are there but he's also drunker than hell. Yeah. Like he wouldn't pass a sobriety test talking about the skating rink.

He's stumbling around. So and his parents are there and he's like, okay, Lloyd, let's go. Let's go. Like they pull him off of me like a drunk guy. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Does his name Lloyd? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, it's, it's, it was a 10 year old named Lloyd.

The time, made him, brought him back to that drunken state that he just needed to be at. Like enough stimulation, boom, right back to the drunks. He's like, oh, that's how we did it. That's how we did it all those years. Yeah. Anyway. So here's my, first of all, that is an amazing advice. I mean, that sounds very untapped roller skating rings.

I'm finding a pattern though. So the one before rolling straighting rings used to be gay bars, right? So the pattern here is that any place that heterosexual males will not go near hot chicks flocked. Yeah. You know, they just want to escape. They want to escape the constant onslaught. Yeah. And they really, they really gusty themselves up for it. Oh, yeah, for each other. I mean, there was, I think, I don't know, maybe for themselves, but there was, there was one point where we were after the skating rink. We were, we were, me and 80s girl were talking about this and she goes, we get in the car and she goes, um, did you notice?

I didn't notice anything. I didn't notice anything, I didn't see anything. Yeah, I said, did you notice? I was like, yeah, yeah, I noticed, I noticed exactly where you're talking, but she goes, yeah, at one point, I saw this girl in a crop top and shorts shorts skating. And I was like, oh, here we go. She looked, she said, I looked over at you to see if you were checking her out and you weren't, but then I looked at what you were see if you were checking her out and you weren't, but then I looked at what you were looking at. And it was another girl in a crop top.

And I was like, I couldn't handle it. It was like being dead. It was like being in a dream. Does she care if you look? Oh, please. Come on. What are we going to? What are we supposed to do here?

No, you're supposed to do. No, everybody're supposed to do that. You're supposed to do that. Everybody loves, I don't, I don't, it's like, if somebody says they have a problem with that, I look at them like they're from another planet. If they have a problem with it. If they have a problem with it, oh, don't, what are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, what are you gonna do? They just set up a live webcam at this place. Oh yeah, they should. They'd keep the creeps out. Here's what else I notice. And this is what, this what I mean the looking is part of life. It is. That's what and all of life is the God damn skating rink because you're in there and you think I'm going to strap on my cool skates that I brought from home and I'm'm gonna have my God. Tear ass.

I'm sitting right next to the bowling ball, you own tear. Tear ass around this thing and show some real, like do some real cool disco moves somehow. Like that's in my head and then I get there and it's like trying to hustle through a cattle ranch. Like being stuck and this is, like this is, this is, like, this is what life is to me. It's being stuck in a mob of people who are really excited about doing

something the first time and are more of a danger to themselves and you, then they could possibly imagine. And you're sitting there trying, just trying to squeeze, perpetually trying to squeeze through this shit show, this sardine can. Every once in a while looking up to see what's around you, to have for God's sakes that you might see, you might see a beautiful girl skating by and maybe she's yours maybe that's the girl you're here with but for it's the whole time is spent trying as a man as being too way too big for everything in the world is spent squeezed packed into these packed into these situations that you paid to be a part of and just trying to not hurt yourself. Like it's being the only one aware that if this giggling bitch in front of you who's

trying to take a selfie with her and a friend falls, you could run right over all of her fingers. And that's you got that's that's on you. That's your responsibility to tip toe around fucking everybody. And all you wanted to do was strap, all you wanna do is to be the silly pants, the guy swiggling around and doing cartwheels and doing triple axles and triple,

who's, I don't even know why he's there because he's the gayest man in the universe. I don't know why he showed up at the Patreon hits $20,000. You have to do a fucking cartwheel on, on triplets or a triple axel. Sean, I'll learn how to, I'll do a whole fucking routine. Are you kidding me? I'll go there and practice every Saturday until I can do like a flat,

like, you know, like a background thing with tassels. So bad. I'll be the bad boy of roller skates. Okay. roller skates. I don't do roller blades. They're degenerate. Blades of glory. Likeer skates. I don't do roller blades. They're degenerate.

Like, blaze of glory. All right, let me get, look, it's the greatest, greatest fucking place you can go to meet women. This should be easy for listeners. Go, I want to hear reports. Go, go. Yeah. Go to the skating ring. Take pictures too.

Don't be like dick. Go by yourself. There's tons of guys. But look, look, you're a competition. This is the special Olympics for you if you're hitting on women because you're there. They are, they are total. It's, it's full of pedophiles and not just like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's creepy smiles, not like Napoleon Dynamite's brother where he's put together, but these motherfuckers look like, they look like, they look like, they look like, like they look like they just found all their clothes in a garbage can.

They're not trying to disguise it at all. They're just going, they're going around shuffling around on their tiptoes for what reason I don't know. You have no, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Let me see if Kleg is here. Let me get, I'm going to get Dustin and Kleg on for a second here. Okay. Dustin, you there? Fell asleep at the keyboard. I don't know. Oh, I is here. Let me get, I'm gonna get Dustin and Clegg on for a second here. Okay, Dustin, you there?

Fell asleep at the keyboard. Oh, I'm here. Oh, there he is. Okay, Dustin, do we have Clegg on the line now? Yeah, yeah, Clegg's here. He's awake, he's not combatose, he's doing okay. So David Clegg is a guy who runs his mouth a lot online. Everyone's a piece of shit.

He's shitting on the show all the time, but he wanted to call in because he's got a podcast that he wants to promote. Here, let me have him on. Hey, Clegg, are you there? Hey, it's Clegg, everybody. Yeah, so this is the deal. Clegg was gonna fist fight.

Somebody named Maxwell Kimball, the silver hammer. Okay. And I guess, Kleg, what happened? Did you push out of the fist fight? And now you guys are doing a podcast? What was the timeline of this? So apparently there was this idea that Kimball had to have a fist fight and then

Some people were looking into getting it set up, I believe, but I don't know for some reason or another That just didn't end up happening. Yeah, and eventually Kimball came up with another idea He says hey Clegg let's do a podcast. Yeah, okay. What should we do this podcast about? And then we come up with this idea. Park a lefty. Are you telling you're telling now you're sitting on my show and you're coming on and that's how you pitch yours. I mean, uh, yes. Yeah. Why? Listen, why are you always so ban out of shape? Like why every week do I read that Clegg is shitting on this show? I mean, I don't shit on the show every week, maybe every other week. Well, what is your deal? What is your deal?

What is your problem with the show? What's your problem with me? Last week you were all over me calling me an arrogant prick on Twitter because I didn't, because you slept through the fucking show by the way. I didn't know. I was there like halfway through the show and you just bumped me because you can't run a show properly and keep it within length. I can't run a show properly.

So then you said, what are you smiling at, Sean? You did, you have no idea what I'm smiling at. I just love the, you know, I was there. I was there. You guys always go over length, dude. Yeah, that's called value. Yeah, is that a bad thing? No. I mean, I don't hate it. That's there. I was there. You guys always go over links, dude. Yeah, that's called value. Yeah.

Is that a bad thing? No. I mean, I don't hate it. That's fine, I guess, but if it makes you bump people, it means you need to condense it a little bit. Why are you showing up working around your schedule? What, I'm sorry that we interrupted your Pokemon tournament that you law, did you win that tournament, by the way?

No. No, you didn't, but okay. So here's what I did decent. So okay. What is what's decent in a Pokemon tournament? Only lost. Kill himself. Wait, what? I only lost twice in Swiss.

So that's pretty good. You only lost twice. Are you playing kids? Are you playing like 10 year olds and stuff? Do you go to roller rinks? Tom, please, yeah, go to, this is, Clicks exactly who's the type of guy that's a little roller rink.

Do you play with kids at the Pokemon tournament? It's mostly adults who play. Okay. Look, dude, wake up on time to get on the show. And if you don't get on, don't tell everybody that you're going to go start cutting yourself on Facebook live. All right, hold on a second. Hold on a second. I got the transcripts. I can read them. Do you want me to fucking read you in all caps on the

chat lift melting fucking down? Give me a second. All right. No one cares about this stupid discord chat. No one can normally see it. Let me just tell you what happened. Here's why I wasn't here directly on time last time. I was awake on time originally, but the fact of the matter is I'm a super mendously depressed and I fell back asleep because my phone is broken. So, uh, Here's Pleg last week.

I almost caught myself last night. What, maybe I should do it now. This is because you didn't get on the show. This is what you're doing to people in Discord just because you don't get on the show. Tell them you're gonna cut yourself. All right, yeah. Look, this is not funny. This is not something to make fun of. All right. This is the wrong show then. Yeah. Well, this is the wrong fucking show, man. Why are you telling people this? Nothing. There's an entire Clegg mythos that I have to maintain. Because I was threatening to harm yourself. Don't you think that's like massively, emotionally manipulative?

And bullshit? No, that was cruel. I was depressed. It happened somewhere. Why are you depressed? A lot of reasons. I don't think this is necessarily really the place to get into that. Why are you depressed?

Everyone gets depressed. Why are you depressed? I don't really want to talk about that. I'd rather talk about lighter subjects. In all seriousness, because you get some kind of help for that. Yeah, I'm not being funny at all. And it's not going on discord telling people you're going to cut yourself because you didn't get on the fucking show. All right, when I'm on the internet man, I shit post. That's just something I do. It's kind of a special skill. So nobody should take you seriously when you're talking about this, right? No. Look, I was just looking for more sensitivity than people seem to have.

Attention. The internet is a wrong place. The word is attention that you're looking for. Yeah, it was a bad idea. This wasn't the right place to do that. I should have realized because these people are assholes. So my bad. All right. Well, let me let me play some clips from your show, the Dustin sent in. How about, how about that? How many episodes are you? That sounds pretty fun. Let's do that. How often do you do it? Once a week. We're recording again tonight. And you stick to a rigorous schedule. Yeah. What's your rigorous schedule, dude? Um, it releases every Thursday. What about your time, though? Are you, uh,

you have been, have been truly on time? Um, yeah, pretty much. Is your co-host set a time like about a day in advance and then go for it? Is your co-host on the, on, on discord? Dustin, Dustin is Maxwell on here. I'm not seeing the silver hammer currently. Uh, I could reach out to him. Well, yeah Of course, I'd love to talk to both of them. I want to know what Clegg's saying is lie or not because I suspect it is We can't wait. I mean there was one time when I was pretty much late to it. I'll give you that But you know things happen. Okay, let me play a sample from your show the Dustin son over So I am the infamously sleepy David Clegg of the Dix show.

And I was once on the Dix show and someday I'll be on again, if they can ever coordinate it properly because paywalls are stupid. So what was with that shit? Why are you always complaining about fucking paywalls? Isn't like your cable. Stupid. He actually go in that a little bit like, what happened with like, why did you have that big like autism spread on like

the big show? Why'd you lose your mind like that? Good question. At that point and largely still, I believe that Dick was mostly responsible for the dissolution of the biggest problem in the universe. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you still believe that?

Oh, is that you talking me right now? No this is a recording. Oh so is this. So you get kind of confused me. I'm pretty shady stuff man. I'm hoping you're willing to admit to that. What did I do that was shady? Are you talking about W9s? Are you one of these morons that doesn't know that W9 is singular? I don't think there's anything there really. It's more about like the stuff you did personally with the guy that was kind of, you know, not- What stuff did I do personally? Let me ask you something. What stuff did I do personally to a guy that I had a business podcast with?

What stuff did I do personally to a guy who spent two years dressing me down every fucking week for imaginary slides, like not, not seizing him on emails and shit like that. What did it, what do I personally owe a person like that? Tell me that exactly how did I ruin the biggest problem? By the way, your co-host is on the line. Max, were you there? Um, that's well. Dickey, uh, he needs to be unmuted.

No, he's unmuted on my end. What if I could do this thing? Like, what'd you do this time? It clicked. It clicked. I fought. Clicked. Answer me. No, answer me. How do you think I ruined the biggest problem? All right. Fine. But I want to be a revenge about it this time. I'm not going to go through another round of being hold a pussy 40 times. Other than I ruined the biggest problem, tell me.

All right. So I don't know the entire story because of your dumb paywalls, but you apparently went off right in front of the guy with like an ex-girlfriend of his at some wedding and that's, you know, you didn't have to do that. You had to know that would make him mad. Yeah, I mean, you have sex on the wedding cake for fuck's sake. Yeah, that's a little over the line. That's what I did. I said, hey, everybody gather around. This is how much I respect weddings,

and this is what I think is the biggest problem. And then I had sex with the right on the fucking dance floor. Yeah. Is that what? Is that basically it, Clegg? I don't know. I can't hear the episode so what is your what i mean what is your deal why is that why what's what's wrong with uh what's wrong with leaving a wedding with someone's ex it's probably a pretty emotionally harmful thing to do to somebody while they're with the new girlfriend why don't you you could have been discreet in respectful about that. A motherfucker, I was discreet as shit.

We walked out the back, nobody's, I don't want anybody to know what I'm doing. I don't want, yeah, we're like the fucking wind we left that wedding. And by the way, I hear that Maddox is telling people, Snake Jerusalem, this guy on the reddit is saying that privately Maddox told him he texted his ex one time that night, and it was only because he was afraid I was intoxicated. So why didn't he text me? How, how, why wasn't I texted like, Hey, Hey, buddy, thanks for giving her a ride, but I noticed you're a little drunk. Why don't you guys get an Uber? I'll send you one.

Why is number one? Why is she getting the text? Is that the move? Because it's lies upon lies. Yeah, because it's fucking lies upon lies upon lies that can never be, and that can never be stopped. So, click, what do you do? I mean, what are you doing this in situation?

Oh, man, I don't know this whole story. So I can't exactly speak to it with perfect accuracy. Mm-hmm. But if you're saying you were sort of speaking about it, then how did Maddox know about this whole thing? I don't know. You got me. There's a lot of fucking people there. Like, is that what you'd have to ask him?

You'd have to ask the guy that never talks about it because he's so ashamed of what he did with a great podcast that he will never make a single fucking statement about it. Even in the middle of launching, he's launching this shit bonus con. Did you know about this? Sean.

I guess you might as well tell me about this. The bonus content? Yeah, so apparently Maddox recorded a bonus show with you long months ago. Yeah show with you a long months ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago. He's releasing it now because he's so desperate for cash. Like, I mean, he's releasing it literally now on Monday of this week with some kind of fucking hail Mary taking content that was three months old and throwing it up to try

to shake people down for cash. All right. I mean, he's entitled to release a bonus episode. You do every month. Yeah, all right, man. I'm going to put it. I would like to jump in here for one second just to ask something really quick. Clegg, you've had conversation before with Maddox, I believe. Was there, was it, did he ever tell you anything that, as far as why he thinks, you know,

all this shit happened in the way it did. Sort of, but I have to be respectful to it and not blurb about it on public podcasts. So he has the answers. Okay. So you got a story that nobody can hear because it's so airtight, right? Sources. Yeah. This deep throat is being protected here.

So, Maddox has given you the whole story that it's all my fault, but you can't, you nobody, nobody can say it. Nobody can say it out of respect. I can't tell you it. Why? What's the extra information? That Maddox's fucking girlfriend have been saying that they have secret information for months.

What is it? What's the secret information? I can't do that. I'm not going to disrespect Maddox. gives a hand let us guess nothing that's that big of a deal though it's just some stuff that you did like that he really didn't approve of like what basically what it boils down to i can't tell you specifically because these are private conversations that was told not to reveal just on a side note someone from like a third party, I haven't followed all the guys.

Got like a high guy. Yeah, so because you're a reasonably healthy person, one of the few things that I've seen happen over and over again is when these quote unquote private conversations do get, you know, unearthed. Yeah. They're always lies. Always lies.

From his side. Yeah, from Maddox. And I don't know what percentage of the March just seems that every single one that does come up that I happened to come across is like wow, so it's lying about that too. I don't know if what he would like Larry in the face. I just if Larry didn't come on my show, I would punch a punch a man punch a fully grown man in the face. I would show up at his house, knock knock, hey Larry, you didn't come on my show, pop, that's the end.

It's just, it's a real, if I may interject for a moment, I listened to some of the previous episode and yeah, that whole punch and not the episode, that was really stupid. I'm going to give you that one. Not season talking about Larry. No, we're talking about punching Larry. We're talking about punching Larry. not see episode that was really stupid I'm gonna give you that one not see talking about a punching Larry about punch and Larry I know they reminded me of the punch and not see thing and I thought I'm gonna play more of your I'm gonna play more of your show here and more than ever I'm desperately affected by the lack of that show because I need it as an emotional crutch but it's no

longer there what were the dictionals that I had to quit enough for? Why don't you look, the dick show is not a thing like the biggest problem in the universe. It's a drama show and I'm not into it. Oh, fuck off. Like you like the hot goss? It was fun for like the first eight episodes or so, but now I'm so tired of it and they won't

shut up about it. Well, I'll, I'll, you know, like, that show has gotten me addicted to Garth's now. Like, I just want to, like, yeah, man, you got to have to go. I got to, by the way, hot gosh shirts on sale. It's a deep, you know, full of soap opera episodes. All right, what else, what else do we got here?

So it sounds like more silver hammer is interviewing David Clegg. Yeah, is that right? Sounds like an interview. I think these are from the first episode or something. Hey, Silverhammer, can you speak to Clegg's ability to show up on time during your show? It's absolutely trash. It's horrible. It's trash. Oh, don't give me that. Campbell. You were 12 hours late last week. Bullshit. You were a day late last week because you're fucking sleeping. Like, don't fucking lie to the audience. That's not

You lie to them. You're lying. You would read every single week because you were unable to sleep You need to learn how to sleep God damn it. Like you're my co-host. I'm tired of your shit You're late You're late. He's living there and it's late. He's playing it up for the dick show. No You ruined the most recent episode. So you know what, I think, uh, I'm like, I'm sure you have, because you're sleeping the whole week. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I incorrect you liar and when I released the new version of the episode people will hear what I actually said Clay no I kind of did away with seeing the award on the show

Clay I didn't get a version of the episode No The two of us are coming guys All right, it's two like you already won you won this week Kimbo We'll talk about it on the show by the way next week we're gonna have a stereo song Okay, okay, okay, okay, that that that that's enough promoting for someone who doesn't like God's He's like a God's machine. Yeah, all he does is sit around and shit on my show Yeah, it's all click does sit around and shit on me on Twitter and shit on the show

Clicked you have anything else to defend yourself with because I'm we're gonna move on oh Boy, all right. Well, first of all, I didn't get a proper plug for the show and then I've got two questions for you guys. All right, so first of all, I have a theme song for you. Hold on, let me play the theme song for you. Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, it's cool. Here you go.

All right, I've got a guy who's involved in David Clegg, are you on? I'm on. So you were going around on Facebook talking shit about me. Yeah, this is a good intro for him. Brother! Brother! No, I never harassed Assyrios, first of all.

All I do is dare challenge one of the many loud opinions that shot out. So he doesn't want to hear you? What's the problem with that? He wants to block you. That doesn't make him a liar. That's why blocking exists. No, it makes him an asshole. He could've just ignored it and not done anything. But he chose to argue with me for a few rounds and then block me. If this is real life,

It's censorship in your personal realm to block something. Yeah, that's how the internet works, man. In the comics. You're gonna believe comics on the intro. You are such a fucking pussy. You're gay on the show. You are such a fucking pussy, man. All right, all right, all right.

I'd listen to that show. Yeah, I'll put that on the site. What did you want to say, Clegg? Wrap it up. What's the end? I mean, you think I ruined the biggest problem because I left a wedding with Maddox's ex four years ex-girlfriend. Is that right? Sounds like he doesn't approve of you doing that because it was a you and Maddox had a personal relationship. Right. That's good. I mean, you know what? Honestly, it sounds like that

show, Manalatum, and I'm, I did something, so it's all my fault. I ruined it. I killed Clegg's baby. I killed his emotional support. Because I did anything, I'm the bad guy. Everybody needs a bad guy, Sean. I'm like fucking scoff face over here. Everybody wants to pick on the bad guy, am I right?

No, I don't consider you entirely the bad guy. I just have some issues with some of the stuff you've done. Like what? So the other thing I wanted to say to you is like, I really wish that you would just let Maddox try it with a different host for a little while. Try what? It probably wouldn't have really worked. Try the big problem. The big problem. Oh, Clegg, there's, you want to meet a... The biggest problem. Oh, Clegg, there's no way that works. He could've bought you out or something.

Is it? Sure, make me a fucking offer. How do you think this works? And by the way, isn't he doing, isn't he basically doing the biggest problem with Ruka? Now except Ruka doesn't bring anything in, so Ruka doesn't technically own the show, right? Is that how it works? Maddox now owns the whole show and just has Rukka on

as like a fake ass moderator, so he doesn't have to give him any ownership of the show. Well, no, it's basically a completely different show. It's really nothing like the biggest problem in the universe. They bring in a problem and two people argue about it. No, it's been the baby Lucienary. Like one thing each week, it's not like problems. It's more like a topic.

Yeah. Issues. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't know. I don't know why Maddox doesn't want to do it with somebody else. I don't know why he can't figure out how much. I mean, dude, the guy's, the guy's probably fucking broke.

Like I don't know what he's going to pay for. I don't know how he can make dollar one off of the podcast he's running with no sponsors and dropping a mint according to Astero's on the fucking website. So I don't know what kind of buyout offer he's going to make. I don't even know if it's relevant at this point. Like, well, no, at this point it's irrelevant. I'm talking about back when he offered to keep the show going. There was no offer. There was no offer. You can't have an offer without money. You don't have an offer without money. You don't make a offer.

And what did you ask him? Did you ask, okay, buy me out for X amount? How is the fucking, how does the world work for you? Hey, I go to apply for a job. Don't side step me. What? Your side stepped. I'm asking, he said, hey, can we continue the show

with somebody else and did you not ask him, okay, but like pay me X amount? Why would I do that? Because, well, I mean, am I taking tips on negotiating from a guy who lost a Pokemon tournament? Maybe come back when you win a Pokemon tournament and tell me who it is. I would prefer to do it.

But don't you think? Well, why didn't, why don't you get what Manix's price was? Ask him. I mean, it's clearly way too late for that. And this show's already over. Yeah, it's way too late for Lossy. All right, buddy, we're gonna move on. We're gonna go to the show.

What? Two more things, two more things. We'll make it quick. All right, what, what? First thing is the proper plug. You gotta go to fb.me slash KimballClegg or patreon.com slash fight night. And that way you can see the show and stuff and consider supporting

it. We need to get about $15 so we can pay for the frickin sound cloud hosting. Okay, next. What's next? All right, the other thing is I have a question for Sean and you don't have to go to go to sound cloud. So if you want to support the collection, go to soundcloud.com slash flag or something like that, right? All right. So one thing I really want to know as like a listener to both shows is basically why you decided not to stay on Maddox's show, but you decided to stay on this show here.

You don't have to answer that, Sean. You don't have to do anything, like tell you to do. Well, I was going to have Yeah. So you have an answer for that? One was gonna go. Dick is a long time friend. Yeah. Dick made me an offer he can't refuse. Yeah, an unbelievable offer. I cut his, I cut the head off of his less pole and put it in his bed. We woke up, there was gorilla glue. No, it worked out, it worked out all the way around. I don't even know how I did two podcasts before.

Oh, you were terrible. I love that. That's the best. I'm much better on one. All right. Did you answer? Okay, so basically you just had to make a choice there. All right.

Fair enough. Thanks for answering Sean Doesn't he infuriate you just the way rephrases everything you say makes me so fucking infuriated I don't leave this on a bad note. Oh, no, this is a good note. He's fine. That's a question Clegg what's your ideal woman? Oh, um, I think it's a painstatt. You have David. I guess just someone who's, you know, nice, um,

Yeah. Someone who, uh, who cares about people, especially me. Yeah. That's it. Um, that might be, there might be a tall order. Yeah. Okay. She should be cute too. I mean, that's good too. Yeah. All right, buddy. Go, go to your show. Thanks for waking up. Sorry, you had to sit through so much to be on to get your call in now to plug your sound cloud.

Well, the main home base right now for the show is FB.me slash Kimball Clegg. That's the Facebook page. All right, Sean, I know the stuff out right? What's the, what's the sound cloud URL though? If anybody wants to hear it on SoundCloud. I believe it's soundcloud.com slash Kimball Clegg. Okay, that's easy to remember.

Wait, he believes. All right, buddy, have a good one. So yeah, have a good one guys Yeah. Have a good one, guys. Oh, man. If I can collect, after the whole suicide talk, I felt kind of weird. I didn't, I was kind of holding back. Wine.

That sounds, that sounds like he should, he should definitely follow Sean's advice and get some talk to someone. Yeah. I mean, what do you do? What do you do when somebody goes online and just threatens to cut themselves like after they don't get their way on and what do you do? You tell them to get help. Yeah. That's it. If you if you care to answer because nobody it's nobody's job to do it for him. Right. Yeah. I don't know. I hate the public stuff that gets posted on Facebook

that you really should be talking to people privately about or it's just a cry for attention. But that's why I think a lot of people don't have, like you and I, so you and people have a tendency to interpret everyone else's actions as though it was something they did. That's what everyone does. That's right.

So when I see, you put it through your filter. Exactly. So when you and I see somebody threaten to cut themselves because they didn't get on the show, we think, wow, this person must be dealing with a lot to say that because it would, if I ever said that, I would be at my wits end, right? But I think, like trying to get out of my own head and into somebody else's head, I think they just kind of use it like currency.

Like it's just water to them. It's very possible. And you know, and even when he said, you never really know what's going on in their head, but that's probably not a bad guess. Yeah, like when he was talking about it, it seemed like it's just something he does. Like shit, I could hear in his voice.

That's not, I don't think so. I mean, if you would told me this, like if I just read me a transcript, I'd be like, okay, possible. I can read you the transcript. No, that's not saying. It's not saying. Possibly what?

I'm saying if you read the transcript of how he described why he put that in there. Yeah. That would be like, okay, yeah, probably attention seeking, but not based on the voice. No, no, no, no, yeah, I don't think he's in a good mental sense. Yeah, exactly. That's all I'll say. All right, let me get the voice. No, no, no, yeah, I don't think he's in a good mental. Yes, exactly.

That's all I'll say. All right, let me get a Consuelo. You know, my cleaning lady, Consuelo was in here again this week. And she left her things. Things are working. Coach, did you know my thing that he Consuelo comes in and she fucks with the dials over there. So Sean has a hard time resetting everything.

This is the first time I've heard about it. But occasionally, occasionally she leaves her podcast recordings her and her nephew her and her nephew or this is her nephew her nephew left the podcast behind this time. Hey, welcome again, Mochaichos, to the Consuelos podcast. The only show where everything is Mexican. The only show where everything just kind of works and your host, Ricardo Martinez. Got pretty sad news, my fellow legally immigrated listeners. My own consuelo couldn't be here last week

because apparently she was abducted by a giant bird. So I think this might be the last time I sneak in the house of the small face guy to record the podcast. Also because the other guy, I think his name is Juan, he deleted all my podcasts, all my upcoming bonus episodes, my thank you on page. You're welcome. How I despise that motherfucker. How I wish he will finally bring a problem after a hundred fucking episodes. Russian character from the... This type of the fucking way. The problem.

No, it all got fucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, mouth. Yeah. Oh. Thank you for listening, amigos. This has been a magical jealous prank, guys. See you in the population lines. Oh, fuck yourselves. That guy, Renee Pedrone, they're short, but they're chock full of info, aren't they?

It's perfect. It's perfect. Me, he's got a little jingle. He's got a whole thing he's doing over there. Now, that guy sticks to a schedule. Yeah. He's, he's having an email. Here's the second episode of the Consuelo's podcast.

I hope it's not too late to send in. It was so fucking awesome to hear you and Juan laughing to my shit, especially since this was my first time writing septapa.com. When I showed it to my girlfriend that my bit got onto the podcast, she gave me a blowjob. And obviously I've dedicated that blowjob

to you, man, oh man, nothing makes me happier than that. Ooh, okay, delicious. Let's get, let's see who we can get on. Every time I come on the show, a blowjob gets taken away. Well, thank you, coach. It's a difference between being in a relationship and being married probably, right? All right, I told, let's see, I got the king of trolls, Hazen Cruzon. I got to see some stuff in. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get to what who Hazen Cruz, the king of trolls is. Yeah. He's got a whole thing that he did, man. It's really funny, but I'm going to do I want to get to an old favorite first. This is a this is a recurring character on the show coach who calls in and causes havoc

Oh with the show he's got a theme songs well his name is the enigma you guys need to like lock lock things down here What do you know lock the studio lock the phone line seems like there's a lot of entry points into getting into your Don't worry when when the when the wall when the white people are rounded up into the FEMA camps, which will happen. I'll do all that I'll keep it safe for you to yeah for you two guys in here. Thank you. Good. The best thing I saw was I don't I wish I remember who said it was someone relatively well known and they said Hey guy basically hey guys on the left, you know, you're kind of bringing this into a Scenario of violence and we we're, we're not gonna win that, that war.

Yeah. Like, like, don't, don't bring this into the violence category because. Yeah, just disagree. Yeah. Or just maybe like a thank you. Yeah.

Well, I also joke, I also joke that for, for if you did want to go anti-white, you do it a little too soon. Wait until we're like a minority of the population maybe. Yeah, then I then I could get it. Breathe them out a little bit, then go in. Yeah, right now too early. Too early.

You can't jump the gun on that race for. Exactly. You're going to really embarrass yourself. You jump the gun on a race for. Manson embarrassed himself. Yeah, Manson really embarrassing. Almost got away with it. But too soon, too soon away with it but too soon too soon too soon and the memes

Manson's memes weren't funny enough right that was a big problem with Manson like what was it like death to pigs or something like that He was ahead of his time. They're funny now. He was just way ahead of his eyes. I still don't think they're Build a wall. That's funny man. Can you name one funny Manson meme? Oh, no, not that he made no. Putting X's on four heads? No, that's not funny. No, no, I was thinking so. That's like a fashion choice.

Like, you know, like write fart backwards on your four heads. So people have to struggle reading it and then they're like, oh, fart, god damn it. That's funny. That's what Manson should have done. Okay, let me introduce the enigma with his enigma themes. I'm just writing Maddox's enigma. I'm just writing Maddox's enigma.

I'm just writing Maddox's enigma. What do I mean Maddox's enigma? No one knows. No one knows. I'm the pre-gunned enigma and I fear to say it. I love it. He has no sponsors, no labs, no yachts, let the name be soon to be cancelled. He lies about greatness, one loves his soul.

He needs this wannabe Ted Talkin' Co. Nice. I like this. Yeah, it's cool. No, this is money. Todd Sidel. There's magic. Another talented dickhead out there. Yeah. Yeah. Everything is in contest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest.

I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest.

I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I think I'm going to be a little bit more honest. Everything is a contest What's up No But when George St. Larry's put you on yours, Larry said no. No.

All right, all right, all right. It's a lot of intro. It's a lot of intro. It's a lot of intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro.

Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. Five minute intro. There's a lot of downloads, a lot of listeners for this podcast. There's also a shitload of people on the Facebook and the Reddit and the Facebook and the Reddit people are on the bleeding edge of the Goss. They're on the nice, the spier's tip, right, of the Goss and they know every reference, they know everything. But then there's a lot of people just listening to this show to get through the day, man. They get a long commute. They don't got time to be fiddling around

on that face book. That's why I do the show. People like Sean. Just to do just to get through the day. Just to get through the fucking day, man. People like Sean who are just listening to this show while they're audio mixing, for example, other shows. They don't give a shit.

They just look at the dials and move them around and then send in an invoice. They don't care what you're doing. Honestly, I oftentimes enjoy the show more mixing it. You are much less critical after you listen to it of guests. I don't really think I'm that overly critical of this show. Yeah, overly critical, but you are, you do, you do have a more favorable opinion after you mix it. That's true, actually. Yeah, where I thought, no, this guest is, yeah, it's usually more interesting to me afterwards. Yeah. Um, so this, this enigma bit happened a couple, a couple of weeks ago, but recently, uh, Maddox's girlfriend went on Facebook

for no reason, totally unprompted, you know, like, like, this is, this is what they do. Just go on. Of course, it's on the personal Facebook. So it's people that I, people who knew me personally. This is, nothing to do with like the show or the comedy of it. This is just going on Facebook, finding people who knew me, who knew me in my personal life and trying to make them think that I'm an asshole. Right? That's, you know, that's the hobby. That's the fuck, the professional reputation. We're just going with personal now. We're just going to try to make people think about it. So she posts this on Facebook and she uses my real name. Of course, Dick wants to get back into UCB and they're trolling the voicemail inbox. It just further proves that Dick is crazy to them too. This is what Maddox's girlfriend is saying.

I use the N-bom all the time. That's what I think. She's responding to the, to the N-word controversy. So I guess she has no problem with it. She uses it all the time. I guess doesn't, doesn't even, doesn't even affect her. That's the, that's the, that's the, the height of her thoughts on the matter is that she uses it all the time. Perhaps in every sentence, I don't know how to take that.

Maybe she just, maybe she's like a smurf, and she just calls everything the N word. That's how Maddox's girlfriend walks around. I use the N bomb all the time, she says. So maybe they just call each other that all day. And there's no need to explain it at all. There's no, it's silly. It's silly this day and age. There's so many bigger explain it at all. There's no, it's silly.

It's silly this day and age. There's so many bigger things to be worried about than just how often and how liberally she uses the N-3. Number three, number three mental Jess says, didn't they just spend a year talking about how great Trump was, but now racism and bigotry are a problem for them now. Did they do a 180? Are they SJW? This is my, my, my numbing, right? It makes your brain bleed, uh, Icar into your throat. It makes your breeding her thoughts makes my brain bleed a liquid, an aqua's form of my soul into my stomach and turn into poison. That's, that's the experience

of reading this person's Facebook book. So she, she caps it with, and here's the joke. I don't know what the fuck he wants anymore. He's making $15,000 a month. It's 18, bitch. By writing Maddox's enigma, writing the enigma. And then there's a little picture of the riddler with Maddox's face on it. A Batman villain known for blundering all of his plans because he's not as smart as he thinks he is. All right, that's the Enigma. So now we have the Enigma's called in. The Enigma, are you there with some more of your Enigmas?

Hello, could you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you. Loud and clear. That's a lot of setup for a guy that just calls up with enig. I don't know if you 20 minutes of setup for me. I've just got some enigmas. Why is this so hard to understand? Yeah, let's hear your enigmas.

All right, well, well, I mean, first off, hold on, let me get my niggma theme music Niggma me this what's the difference between a cook and a dick? I don't know It's a good question. That's a good enigma. That's what I even try or did you was You was I don't know I was waiting for music. I was like it's like this is like a knock knock joke Where the you don't get the joke until you guess who is legitimately at the door? Okay, what is the difference of what is the difference between a cock at dick to letters?

I don't know one one You can cook a cook but a cock can't dig a dick The magma these isn't he's in here. I'm talking about Maddox. I'm calling him a cock. I was gonna guess you're gonna guess Yeah, oh you were gonna get you get zero in nigma points. Oh boy All right, you don't want a nigga by the way. Correctly guessed this is the enigma. Yeah. And now the enigma could have sing his own theme song. I'm the enigma and I'm here to say I'm here to not confuse listeners in a major way. This bit makes perfect sense.

I'm telling you answer me a nigma number two Good yeah, all right now we're in the game But we were oh I hate all of you What inigma which Ended the old show failed polyamory or rape apology No, failed polyamory or rape apology. Fail, failed polyamory ruined the old show. Yeah, the other guesses, should have been my enigma, which by the way is not a riddle.

I don't wanna hear the word riddle. Was it both? Neither. A bald unfunny gnome with chump syndrome. All right, I get it. I was also going to guess that one, but I didn't want to. Do you guys like these enigmas better than the enigmas from last week? Yes. Yeah, I hired a writer to write these enigmas for me.

His name is William Boyd. He's from New Zealand, so his whole life is a joke. Oh, boy. Why? I like New Zealand. Yeah. I'm more of an Australian fan. New Zealand sucks.

Look, last time I called, people were confused. I have no idea why. This couldn't be simple. Because you stopped the, you stopped like what we were talking about. And Wooden Teller, who is calling. And this never mind. It was clearly the enigma, oh, I'm sorry,

who else calls you show up and ask brilliantly clever enigma? I don't know. Just Larry Blinder doing that, I didn't think so. No. Look, last time I called people are a little confused, I'm not sure why this couldn't be

simpler. Astarios told me the enigma that Maddox told Astarios that Larry told you that when he couldn't go on your show, if Maddox gave Larry a show on Maddox's network, you dick threatened to punch Larry in the face. Maddox told that to Astarios and Ast Astero's told that to the enigma. I don't see why this is so confusing for everyone. But that's the part people were confused about. I mean, that did seem pretty straight ahead.

Yeah. But why was it gross? That confused a lot of people too. Why did you say, or why did Astero say it was gross what I threatened to do to Larry? A nigmatic way of describing it. It wasn't gross. It was super gross. Spreading the idea that you are physically threatening people

due to podcast guest policy is gross. It means that George is literally inventing fictional assault charges. I can't think of anything more gross than that. I think that is true. That is true that he's just inventing that I have threatening people like the fucking mafia Still in this room. I just told the enigma to keep it down

All right, he's not kidding enigma me this Who needs more patreon donation so he can move out of this apartment? You don't have enough to move out of that apartment. Oh my god a lot of patreon You don't have enough to move out of that apartment? You're getting a lot of patriots. Yeah, Nigma lives in New York, that Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, Nigma number three, Nigma be this. Who makes up rhymes instead of trying? Because on the inside, he's slowly dying.

Stereo is supposed to ask the whole thing question. When will he finally address his depression? That's the stereos. No, I'm talking about Maddox. Oh, shit. Oh, that was the stereos too. Hey, it is the stereos. Anigma, I got a timeline question for you that we need answered.

So this is, no, no, no, this is, this is true because some people unearthed this in the chat. Do you remember the day when you said Maddox was crying? Do you remember what day it was? Because I think there was some confusion about that. When, well, do I mean, just get a stereos? I mean, I'm impressed. Either one, whoever, whoever remembers. I assume you guys talk to each other. I'm gonna get you either one. Whoever, whoever remembers. I assume you guys talk to each other. I'm out. Oh, boy.

Is that you? Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Stereo. Thanks for calling in. Oh, thanks. So thanks for having me. I, the ename would just told me your question.

But he told it to me in a very confusing way with a lot of like odd compound modifiers. Right. Sure did it quickly. I'm going to request it one more time. Yeah. Do you remember what day it was that you said Maddox was crying? Because he just found out that something happened between me and his ex after the wedding.

Well, I mean, honestly, I think you're kind of asking two questions. I mean, I'll answer the first one really simply. It was the day that we recorded the final episode of the biggest problem. Do we have anybody to get that day? I'm, I guess I could look at my flight records because I did it like an hour after I landed, but I mean, here's the thing. I'd have to figure out. It was clearly lying about, quote, just finding out he was trying to manipulate us.

So that's why I wanted to know because. He manipulated me in Sean. Because that's what people pointed that out in the IRC, the Dick show IRC, that he sent me the email killing the show on a Friday before because I knew that we were, I knew that the show was over when I, when 80s girl and I went to Mexico. That was when it was dead. And Assyriose is saying that he had just found out it seems like there's a big discrepancy. Like it seems like

he would have found, quote, found out whatever he's saying he found out before. And the hypothesis is that he worked himself up into a frenzy that morning to try to dop you guys with the tears and the recording and all that. You think he could have wanted to end the show just based on the fact that you left with 80s girl. See, because I think, I mean, that obviously bothered him. What? That you left the wedding with 80s girl.

Oh, Sean, he knew, and now listen, listen, listen, listen. He knew there was nothing. I'm just not sure he was the most recovered from that. Secret shit in the world. And nobody ever did like he's he. Correct. Badgered her. He badgered his ex for like 40 minutes at work trying to poke holes in her story of what

we did. And nobody deviated from the official story, Domatix, which was dropped her off nothing happened. That was it. Yeah. I mean, my opinion is he wanted to end the show for a long time. So yeah. Oh, yeah.

So I, I mean, I think so. I mean, just, there was a lot of animosity. Well, he did say, you remember the big conversation I had with Randy? Yeah. He did say that he threatened Randy that he was gonna cancel the show when I went to Burning Man the first time. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that bugged him.

But what I'm saying, I wanna get back to this. Oh yeah, come on. So, Ashturus, how long do you think before that he knew? What I'm saying is that, yeah, is that he wanted to, he wanted to end the show, he was gonna do that even before he found out. I mean, what I'm saying is it's possible he could have found out that morning. No, it's not possible that he found out that morning because he sent an email on Friday.

I don't think anybody's that good an actor. So you don't think any show had anything to do with that. He I mean think about this. It's a really smart guy. No, no, no, I think that was the final straw. I think that absolutely solidified it for him. But, but the show is already canceled then. That's the point. That's what we're saying. The email was sent before. Yeah, the email was sent on a Friday.

And that, that, that, we know. But see, we knew that was the last episode. Asterios, right? You guys knew. Yeah. No, I found out when I got there. Here's what I was told. Because you were on those emails.

Oh, I mean, yeah, of course, why would he be on those emails? I wasn't on them. Yeah, I mean, honestly, like, you were, I feel like there's a meta issue here. And it's like, we could talk about dates and times. We can all play detective like all we fucking want. But this dude is a liar. Like, there's a liar and a manipulator

and it's like, oh, he sent this email on a Friday and then he told us on a Sunday. It's like, all right, so we didn't last in the details. It's like every kid that guy does is a blind manipulation. Like, that's what he does. That's what I was saying earlier. I can assume that,

I have all the session create dates. I have that like all of this stuff is accessible to me. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I have that like all of this stuff is accessible to me. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I mean, but like for anybody that is literally trying to assemble like a footprint or a TikTok or some sort of like, if anybody really needs like all of these numbers to convince himself that Manix is lying, what I would say is the dude got so upset when his friend started to date an ex of his, and by the way, Manix had broken, they had broken up like years ago.

He was so incensed by this that he made a video accusing the dude of being a rape apologize. Like he made a video accusing the guy of being the worst thing a man can be. So like if you really need like, oh, he found out on Friday, but on a Sunday, he did this. If that's what's going to convince you, then you just don't want to believe. You want to think Manics is a good guy, go nuts. Go fuck yourself. I like details. I know that I'm not.

I'll give you the details. The bitch of it is that there's always going to be some percentage of people who will just not believe anything unless they've got like a smoking gun and a video of the guy shooting the gun and a brain and a letter of him writing that he was going to shoot the gun. It doesn't always change their mind. And even then they're like, well, the guy said he didn't do it. Right.

And the reason why lying is, the reason why like we all vilify lying so much is because it works 100% of the time every time. It's the most dangerous weapon that we have is just saying what's not reality. It's a huge amount of people just like the thing with snake Jerusalem on Reddit. I got out of him that Maddox is telling people he didn't blow up the X's phone. It's like, well, how in the fuck am I, I got it, what do I got to go? Shepena records from, like, how the fuck do I, how do you prove that? But in this just, you know, way,

Mysterious is right. And sometimes, you know, the circumstantial evidence can be enough to convict. Yeah, it's like he, yeah. But there's no circumstantial evidence here. Like Sean, do you think that your friend Dick believes that if a woman is passed out of a party, she deserves to be raped? No, I do not believe that for a second. No, right. Exactly. Sean, do you believe that your friend Dick threatened to punch Larry, a guy who's older and

bigger and richer than him in the face? No, I do not believe he threatened to punch Larry, a guy who's older and bigger and richer than him in the face. No, I did not believe he threatened to punch Larry in the face. It would be, yeah, that would be stupid. You know this manics guy, you worked with him for a long time. I mean, the guy stopped people, the guy like killed the friggin' titanic bit because he kept losing like the guy killed the idea of people of like it being a contest when he started to lose the contest the guy does what he wants and then he finds a way to justify it later he's like a crazy guy he's a crazy guy who happened

to make good content at one point but until he starts to do that again what but the thing is like look people want to be fans of a guy whose book they read when they were 12. It's just like, that's what they want. They don't wanna believe that this guy, who they've been reading his comedy for 20 years, they don't wanna believe that he's bad guy. I was just 20, thank you very much.

I was just 20, thank you very much. I mean, but you know what I'm saying, like you can't convince these people. Yeah. Now, I still go see Woody Allen movies, even though I think he's probably about a file. Yeah. I think you're kind of a scumbag. Yeah.

Goddamn it. Match point is a good movie. No. Good-ass movie. Scarlett Johansson, run around in the rain. Asterios, are you a lawyer? No. I'm not, I'm barely a comedian.

All right, but that a nigga. But I get no, and I don't know who the, I mean, the enigma's crashing with me for a while. He's going through a pretty bad divorce. He's on my food time. And then Tom Phillips is also a communication wasn't a strong point in the relationship. Yeah, are you the one that told en, Nick, would he keep a damn point? No, that's my roommate. And I guess now the addicted was roommate,

because the thing that doesn't seem to be leaving, he said he was gonna come here to crash for, I think he said like, what is not strong and always continues? And I was like a weekend and he was like, yeah, I'm gonna stay for a weekend but it's been a few weeks. That's good.

Anyway it was great talking guys I'll talk to you guys later. Hey wait can you play the enigma theme song as you go out. You got it hold that one. Thank you. Thank you. You got to put a capper on the bed. Yeah. That was the enigma.

Probably put a nigma bag on to Okay, yeah I'm not even That's me doing an impression of the Nick That was close All right, is it coming?

I don't know. He doesn't have a second. Yeah, he's right. He's right. But I love to know the details because I value accuracy. I just do. Well, yeah. No, I love to know timelines. I want to know the timelines. I mean, here's another bit for the timeline. Yeah. I'll give you some, I'll give you some unearthed gosh right here that I haven't dropped ever.

Or maybe I should give it in the bonus episode. This is getting a little long. I wanna get, I wanna get this dude, Hayes and Cruz on. Okay. I'll tell you in the bonus episode. So we're gonna release, we're releasing this on a Monday, this week, and then we're doing the bonus episode on a Tuesday.

Why are we doing that? Because Maddox is releasing his bonus episode on either Monday or Tuesday, and I wanna fuck the numbers on that as hard as possible. So I figure the more content people have access to the less likely they are, if they're on the fence, or if they want some more content, the less likely they are to go purchase, purchase,

mad exes, the months old content. You know, he's probably talking about the girl that ran into Hillary in the woods, and she didn't have any makeup on. That's mad ex versus, he's gonna talking about the girl that ran into Hillary in the woods and she didn't have any makeup on that's what that's Maddox versus is going to talk about makeup and why he doesn't wear it and he's like Hillary Clinton. And they're both thought leaders. Anyway, they both actually won.

Yeah, and they both, they both won. They both won the, they really won. They won the popular vote. She both met that's his Maddox versus the first one is Maddox versus makeup. He's a winner for crying and for winning the Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. She was both met. That's his Maddox versus the first one is Maddox versus makeup. He's a winner for crying and for winning the Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. He also won the popular vote. He also won the popular vote somehow. Alright, let me get, let me get Hayes and Hayes and Cruz on the line. And then we're going to wrap this up and continue it in the bonus episode. Hey Hayes and Cruz, are you there? I'm here to take what's going on. Not that nothing, but so this is a very funny thing that these guys did.

Let me see if I can load it up. There's a Twitch stream. If you're not familiar with Twitch, it's people play video games and talk, give all of them to me. I love it. I love it. Do you want it frequently? No, not really.

I don't watch much frequently, but it is great. I wish I had more time to watch it. So there's this lovely, lovely and hilarious woman who writes for the show, Via Isterios, and she's now starting to write her own bits and present them a peach saliva. Oh, she's great too. She's great. She brings a great mojo to the show when she's on.

Yes, because everyone is in a frantic competition for her approval. It's great. It's wonderful to have a woman on here because we're all tripping over our dicks, trying to say something funny. When there's no women on, like even Lacey, when there's no women around, we're just trying to compete

for the Trump bobble heads attention. It's not the same. So if you do go on and go check out Peach's Twitch stream. I've, no, yeah, okay, well. So Maddox does a Twitch stream of his own. Were you trying to figure out a reason not to do it? And this is, oh, fuck it, I will.

No, he's not, he's still not gonna do it. He just realized that it's not important that he say why he's not gonna do it to everybody. Well, but I got a lot, I got kind of a lot to do. So I might not, anyway, you're both wrong actually kind of a lot to do so I might not anyway You're both wrong actually. I was trying to cover up for saying I've already lurked through all of So Alex has a twitch stream as well and the dick the dick discord May they went on to Maddox's Twitch stream and just don't because he makes

no money. He makes like a dollar of like peach. Peach makes six seven dollars. Peach makes six hundred dollars a night on her Twitch stream because she's hilarious and she talks through it like I don't want to I don't want to she's cloth. Buddy, not only is she close but modestly like she goes out of her way to just make it about her personality. And yeah, a lot of like, it's, she's, she's, she's doing like the Japanese gulvarate. They've got those, those idle girls that just never take their clothes. That's great.

But she's beyond that. She's wearing like a box with, with eyes cut and, like a, like a paper bag. Like you want to talk about role models for young girls? Someone who's a woman who's making money playing video games while dressed modestly. That is a role model. Yeah, girls are smart and funny. We all know this.

Well, she is. No, she is actually really funny. Yeah, for sure. I can, I compared her to a Trespick Neal who was one of the most funny women I've ever fucking. Who's that Chesty McNeal? No, one of the most funny women I've ever fucking heard. Who's that Chesty McNeil? No, trust me.

She does a lot of voice acting. Tres McNeil, she was on the Simpsons, Tony tunes. I think she had a part. She's on a Futurama. Who is she on, Tony tunes? Yeah, she's thinking about which Tony tunes. She's back on the Tony tunes. Oh, okay.

She was a Donald Mademoisx. Oh, all right, all right. So anyway, Maddox has this Twitch stream that makes like a dollar, $7 or something like that that you got. And if you pay the money or you join, you get your username put on the screen. And these fucking guys, the DixCord, the Discord for the show, would go on and register new nicknames and put in like token amounts to get on the board and then take a screenshot of Maddox reacting to the fucking name.

Let me see what kind of what names would you guys use? Just tell these guys tell these guys about what I look for the threat of screenshots. Oh, yeah, let me just I can actually link it to you here in the chat, but yeah, let me let me just give you some of the highlights here. We had at first it wasn't even we had to pay money. It was just like the last follower, which you could do for free. He originally removed that and people started donating little tiny amounts of money. I'll get to that in just a second, but yeah, some of the some of the you guys.

Some of the top money. Cause it's guys like you have a live feed of his face as he reads it. Wait, are there videos? You guys there may be a bottle of his channel, but I have never been as dedicated in my life to anything Fucking funny though look at this The icing on the cake is that they're all archived on an H and Oh my God. Ride my stolen iTunes feed. Look at the stolen iTunes feed picture.

You see that? Like, I'll put all these on the website. I'll link to the H and like he's so pissed off that he can't take like because he wears his face on his sleeve. You know, like I can't match. He's a terrible poker player. Probably never even paid blow. The funny part is like originally the idea was like maybe he'll be maybe he'll be like, okay, guys, ha ha, real funny. But like he did not take the joke of course. He didn't take it. He's got that all like there are tons of people on Twitch who have this exact problem and they kind of incorporated another Twitch character like KC Tron and they just like,

it's hilarious and of course he did not take that road. Him and one of his mods started going berserk and just fucking like banning people left or right. Did you get your money back? Did you get banned? Yeah, do you get only one person donated money? I don't think they got their money back but it was only $1 so it was totally worth it.

This is, here's a catch to a blip. Read some of that. Ride my enigma. He's reading my nigh. No, one of my favorites is why is Jesse and Mac. This is the best one. Latest follower. So it says the screenshot is top boner and like whatever. That's what Maddox calls this big contributor, Rod Steel, six bucks. Right into that latest follower, 80s girl. Look, look at the fucking face on this, what I'm going to blow it up. This is one called Madcooks, it's funnier. So when he's probably took the follower thing down, he finally took it down, right? Because he found like, oh, people are just going to keep doing this.

He took that off. And then somebody donated a dollar to put top-bonors, super-cuck Maddox. Yeah, yeah, that's good. So that was just above his head for the entirety of the rest of the stream. He could make more money if he did like a digital version of a dunk tank.

Like where he's literally like five bucks and you get to write 140 characters and I react to it. Yeah. Oh, maybe that should be the game show he did write 140 characters and I react to it. Yeah. Oh, maybe that should be the game show he did in Vegas. Maybe he could make it into that. That's a good idea. All right, buddy. You got this is this is really great work that you're doing.

This is obviously obviously a team effort. I don't want to downplay anyone's effort on this, but it's really it's really tremendous. Well done. Oh, you never come up with this. Our million years. I don't know how they find these vulnerabilities. Like do you do you remember Sean? Do you remember the episode when Maddox was just starting to do the Twitch stream? And he was complaining about how he tasted blood.

And I was telling him like, well, what, you know, you got to ease off the shouting on your, like don't talk so much, don't like force your talking so much. And he had this big fucking meltdown at the right at the beginning of the episode. How I screamed too much and blah, blah, blah, don't criticize, if you want me to make money, you're tasting blood.

Just, just don't shout so much. That's all I'm saying. I remember, for some reason, he took that in a strange direction. Yeah. So this is, this, this twitch thing is what they're going after now. The, the, the addiction to like being a twitch superstar, which everybody's got to be, right? If you're on the internet and you're not making tons of money on Twitch, then who are you? All right. You got anything to plug, Hazem? There's a couple of things.

I got a podcast. Love hate love. You can find us on Twitter at... Say it again, say it again. I talked over you. Say the name of that. Love hate loves the podcast we've got. You can find us on Twitter at LHL podcast.

We got a YouTube find us on Twitter at LHL podcast. Okay. I got a link to the YouTube and everything on there You can find me on Twitter at hazen crews a muscle on twitch I do bits on soundcloud for really cheap and I want to give a quick shout out to Christina Applegate. Oh good good great. Hey, what makes you really wide? Do you know? No, it's just I might work a lot. Yeah. Oh, okay. What makes you a rage man? Fair enough What makes me a rage? Women pressuring you to have kids in a relationship definitely.

Oh really? Are you? Under the gun? I'm not right now. My last relationship was like that. It was part of the reason it ended. Were you married? I wasn't.

That was the thing. We should get married right away. We're like 22, 23 and she was like, we're married right now. Let's have kids right now. I was like, oh, lady, I'm not ready for that shit. You put in the card before the horse, honey. Yeah. That's not how you trick a guy into marrying you and having kids. You got to sweeten. You got to make all kinds of promises. You guys respond to the carrot, not the stick. You got to give them the sweet life.

Blow jobs every day, making a food. It'd just be easier if we lived together. And we wouldn't have to drive. Then I wouldn't have to drive over here. You wouldn't have to drive over here. This would just, this fantasy world would be so much easier if we just lived together. We guys are like, that sounds fucking amazing.

Logistically, I can't argue with that. I can, I'm a man. So everything I do has to be very logical. You got me on that one, if I just cut out all this drive and that's true, it would work. And then it's the only way this wouldn't work is if you were lying to my face. And then it's, you know, as soon as we do all this great stuff, I just would feel more, I would feel more comfortable

if we were married. That's all, it would just be so much of this this paperwork that we have to do every month, keeping it, it would just be easier to solve if we were married. Like why go through this whole rig of a roll? See, it's, you have the reason marriage exists is so you know that you're going to be together the next day. That's an end that we would fight less. You know, Trump's married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sign me up. Then you hit him with the kids. Then you, that's when you start popping, that's when you start not, no, that's when the,

then the pill taking gets funny. That, all right, buddy. Yeah, that's, that's a good one. Be careful out there. All right, we're going to do a bonus episode now. Let me wrap this up. This has been the Dick show, thedickshow.com, patreon.com, the Dick show coach. Thanks for joining us.

Thanks for sticking around for the bonus episode as well. See you next Tuesday. This outro is by ACU. Sex and the ocean is what it's called. salty title. Sure is. 1. Draw the outline of the outline. What ever I'll let you let's do a boys' mouth. You're right, Sean. Here we go. This is very important.

If you want to know it makes me a email by sexual chump syndrome. It's when a woman is interested in being another woman, but she's fucking guys so she doesn't understand that getting a woman to want a venue is most curious in the whole fucking world. So she goes about it, we'll help attack and finesse about that guy wearing a

pedora in his otake, you pit profile picture. And on top of that Maybe the chick she's trying to bang is who's gonna be straight So the fucking dyko path pepper shot with her anywhere accepted Which is very gracious. We have with them But then you pop the sucking girl again months later So the lady chump flips out and starts saying you somehow room under friendship with this girl Starts claiming she was in a relationship with you for any to kill you and break up the banjo in. So eventually, you just moved to New York to try to escape all the shit and you think it's over.

Until you tell the story of the three-some on a podcast, accidentally say her real name, and that's the one time the fucking audio engineer does until weeks. See, maybe this is? So she calls in and tweets my reputation the same way she treated my concussed brain while 50,000 people listen. She'll say I was only far from her. She had the three-some without mentioning that it lasted over four fucking hours and I only lost it because I was banging Sarah from behind.

I noticed that between her auntie and muscular back and stupid fucking lesbian both cut, it kinda looked like I was banging the guy. So I turned her over, but then I looked, think about with how her nipple piercings looked like two staples in a really flat piece of paper. So at that point, I had to drink a lot to get all the stupid thoughts out of my head. And then I lost it.

Plus, all the commercials are always on about how you can't have an erection for more than four hours. So really, my drinking problem prevented a medical emergency. You're welcome. Not that it did any good since you tried to fucking murder me from my Patrick Bateman impression. The thing she planned to set about jerking off on him 60 is true though. And I do still plan on doing that. Dick, go fuck yourself. That's a that guy called

in and told a threesome story on the last bonus episode. And the girl that he was having the threesome with heard it. And then called in and called him out for saying that he couldn't get it up. Oh, hammering hell. Yeah. So this is his response, I guess. So apparently that chick was just mad because she was trying to date the girl and our friend Barry, Barry from New York got it.

I want to believe that's true because no one can come up with a bucket story like no. I'm sure that'll be the end of it. Barry and Sarah battle for the ages.