The Dick Show - Episode 383 - Dick on Lord Miles

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Lord Miles calls in about being held captive by the Taliban for 8 months, fighting the Chinese for gold, North Sentinel Island, and the Durian Pass, and more if you can believe it! And also the "PRONOUNS" guy has a problem with me, my girlfriend buys a video game and a puzzle, Israel is blowing the PR war, and a man blacks out before he can have sex with a hot Russian; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

to the cotton points out made for toys. Look at somebody sent in a gigantic bag of warheads. I'm real sick bastard. I love warheads. I don't know who these are supposed to be for. Maybe half you, half veto. I'll give you a veto each one warhead. For every time you do a good show. I'm going to get a treasure box like at the dentist office. You guys can pick out a warhead after each episode. I only pick green. I'm going to have a separate box for Sean only warheads to see a video will throw a fit about. Yes, you having all the green ones. Yes, yes. Put these over here. Are these going to be distracting if I leave them out? Put these over here. Are these gonna be distracting if I leave them out?

For you? I'm sorry, what? Yeah. Lord Miles is calling in. I believe a woman fucked up his time zone on his appointment calendar. No. Last week I double checked.

I said, hey buddy, make sure we just did that stupid time change thing. That there's no reason to do that. We're gonna do when we die because we're not gonna to ever fix anything. Right. Just letting you know that that happened last night. So everyone's getting woken up by their dogs.

Do I get a link to the show as a patron? You got to be at the $20 level, buddy, to get a link to the show. Not some crummy, not your crummy level, or not your ungratitude and insolence. You give me, you free, gimme hand out, zoomer, you in gratitudeful person. In gratitudeful person. How do you know he's not at the, because I can tell by his color.

Oh, I can tell by the color of his user. Well, the fact that he doesn't have a link, that is not a giveaway actually. It's not? No, really, no. It's not? No. Really? No. Nine times out of 10?

Yeah. It's because they're retarded. Oh. Check your email. You know what? Funny you said, check your email. I went ahead and did it and there it was. Okay.

Ah, la la la la la la la. Not hungover at all. So got that extra. Do we get an extra hour today or do we lose one? No, we got one. The next one is the bad one. The next one is the bad one. The next one's a bad one. Yeah.

Where you, where it turns to a clock, except for it turns three o'clock. You know, we do, we do the, we lose an hour and we lose, we just are minds. We lose the, the, the, the one percent, the fattest people. We lose, toss them all into a volcano. Yeah. That's the deal. Yeah. Let's keep doing it, but let's get rid of the one percent, the fattest people, we lose toss them all into a volcano. That's the deal. Let's keep doing it, but let's get rid of the bottom one percent. Everyone's worried about the top one percent,

but we really should be worried about the bottom one percent fattest people, the bottom one percent most, most stubbornness, women, get rid of them, the bottom one percent bad drivers. Yeah, I like this. Shred their licenses. You gotta look at the extremes, you know? Yes.

Chances are the extremes are causing some problems. And we gotta make those extremes bigger every day. Okay, it's everyone except us. And by us I mean me and you the listener. Yeah, not the other listeners, just you. Just you. Just you the one that's listening right now. The last man on earth

Some fat bitch on the internet called me a Jew hater. I said, I don't think you're allowed to call me that really You are the widest you are you look like the fucking Michelin man fuck the state puff marshmallow man and put put Chris Farley's wig from the gap girl sketch on You can't call him you can't use the phrase Jew hater. she just call you a Nazi? What are you, yeah, yes. You think that they, because they blew that one out. Because that's fine, right? They blew it out. No, they can't use that anymore, because they fucking blew it out. So now they have to, you mean like it has no meaning anymore?

Yeah, yeah, okay. Fucking use it up. So now they gotta go to ju-hater, I'm like, I'm, I'm sure you are not allowed to call me that. I don't know, I mean, you got something in your mouth, I can hear it through your typing. Maybe you mumbled your words a little bit, but I don't think that's appropriate. I know what I can't say. I wouldn't come within 10 feet of saying that.

Yeah, I know you can't say it. Fucking realtor. By the way, if fucking realtor. You look like it. You got the body type of a realtor. I got bad news for you. You look like a realtor. I can smell your realtoriness coming through the screen.

It smells like scum. Did I smell like scum? Put you on a train. No, it's fine. I know you're not allowed to say that. Let's find a cattle car. Okay. I just met a regular train, but you'll only fit in a cattle car

getting bulked doors. Harris Ray, I'm cheer talking about, right? That's yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get all my holostakes. Let me find this fat bitch that called me a fucking hater of a certain persuasion. They're getting angry, man.

Yeah. Cause people are ripping down their signs. Missing kid. Look at this. Julie Gunnlock called me a fucking, she's just like Gunnlock. Yeah, is that her name? It's much funnier than her name.

Well, what's it? Gun-lock. Gun-lock, oh, that's different. Oh, a name, but I like gun-t-lock. Gun-t-lock. Fucking... She hosts a radio show in between courses. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

New stock! A radio show. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Boy, that's... There's storm in the White House. Somebody was. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha woman speaking to me in such a way. I would drive around you and slap you. Yeah, and yeah, say, she couldn't say it to my face too far away. She called you a, called you a Jew hater. They wouldn't let her in California. What did you say? That's the earthquake situation. What did you say?

She said, I hate you. Yeah, I don't Yeah, no, just. I don't know where she is. I'm trying to talk my friend out of, Reverend Scott, he's telling me names for this new dog that his family's got. You gotta listen to these names. Here, here, here, here, he's making a big mistake. Yeah.

He said, here's the names that the women want. Biscuit, pretzel, peanut, or nugget. I said, buddy, you're setting yourself up for a fist. That's every time you talk with, think about the dog, these women are gonna think of food. That's the last thing you want. That's hilarious, they're all food. They're all food bits.

They are probably hungry. So there's looking at the little dog. I'm like, I'm gonna eat this dog. Biscuit pretzel. Pretzel. Something or nuggets. Nuggets. Candy.

What's the other one? The third one? Biscuit pretzels. Peanut. Peanut's still a food. I'm considering. No, it is. They the other one? The third one? Uh, uh, peanuts. Peanuts. Peanuts still a food. I'm considering. No, it is. They don't want to have to be thinking about fucking food all day.

I mean, nugget, people don't think gold when they think they're thinking of checking. They're right. Uh-huh, and I just want to say they are a white family. In case somebody accuses me of being racist there. Yeah. Don't let your white, don't let your family name a dog food. No.

They're going to be thinking they'll wake up. Oh look, it's little breakfast. Oh, you know, I'm going to get some breakfast today. Yeah. Oh, it's little bagel. Oh, Macrattles, come here. Oh, Macrattles. It's disastrous.

Yeah. None of those. The answer is none of those. I stepped on a scale today. Uh huh. Said, there's a worse thing never happened to me. There's a worse thing than. None of those. The answer is none of those. I stepped on a scale today. Uh huh. Said, there's a worst thing that ever happened to me. There's a worst thing that happened to me this week. Wow.

I stepped on the scale. Maybe the worst thing that ever happened to me. Jesus. I stepped on the scale today. Cause now I got scales following me around cause Vito's doing his way in on the biggest problem. Shouldn't he just quit while he's behind? I thought the same thing.

I mean, it's clearly, it went. He didn't, he actually gained weight at the weigh-in, right? One of them, yeah. But okay, what at the actual, at the live show, where was he? The last show he gained, he was at 301. And what? What? He started the very first very first three 10. 0.6. Okay. So he lost like he lost nine pounds overall, right? Four months and he had two months remaining. Yeah. Yeah. He should have done better than that. He should have done much better than him as a grade. That's, I mean, I can't say fail because he actually did go the right way. But I mean, it's, it's a D and not, not anywhere close to a C, you know, yeah, he's a D to a D

minus. Yeah, it's like, I give you an incomplete. You squeaked by the course for full credit. You squeaked by, but you should be embarrassed as we all are. That's, yeah, that's technically, technically you passed, but that's it. Well, you didn't pass because you're supposed to lose 30 pounds. Well, no, true. If there are a thousand dollars or else I give the thousand dollars to Hamas, that was the deal. No, look, yeah.

And even knowing that all this was on the line, he still chose to fuck around, drink Mountain Dew, be on Twitter, not take his medicine, not take his medicine. The celebrities are using and they all look like busted up catchers midst that got left outside with some pubic hair staples to the top. Right. Is that what they look like? They do look like that. So he, I said, he came and said, we got to do a way in today.

I said, buddy, just give up. I don't, well, you don't have to put yourself through that kind of humiliation just for the entertainment of people. I would never do that to you, right? I wasn't gonna bring it up. He says, no, no, no, we gotta do it, it's time. So we do it. And he got down to 2.93.

So he's within 13 pounds of hitting the goal. He has one month to lose 13 pounds, which he could definitely do. Yeah, but just judging by somebody could do. Another person could do. Yeah, because it's taken him, I mean, he's just as likely to go up. I've got the other way. Maybe I should try feeding, gorging him every week.

I mean, that could be a photo finish, but you you know, I'm just, he could have made another metaphor, please. It's going to be a close one. I don't want a picture of that. Could have made it a lot easier on himself naked to hit that way in, right? Yeah, he can't leave anything to chance. Right. Yes, he evacuated his bowels.

Yep. He's got to be doing whatever cleaner outer the whole day. No fighters have done it. He's got to put on a trash bag and bike for 15 minutes. So I have to sweat it out. So I'm gonna, yeah, multiple hours of all the stops. I mean, you've got to do like stuff that will just about give you a heart attack. Yeah.

Oh, that would be funny. If you waited at the hospital after having a heart attack. Yeah, it's like, yeah, go ahead. Just I lost weight. You know, I lost weight. Weight lost. Weight lost cause it's heart attack. Yeah, it's like, yeah, go ahead. Just I lost weight, you know, I lost weight. Weight lost, weight lost cause it's heart attacks. Yeah, never my fuck is, was worth the, and then he still weighs in it one pound over, right?

One ounce over, God, that would be, that would be the greatest resolution of this. Please Jesus, please. And he's still in this case. Fuck around and find out. Yeah, this case. Fuck around and find out. Yeah, all right. Fuck around and find out. You seeing that?

That's the new rallying cry for Fat Americans with type two diabetes. Anytime anything bad happens to anybody. Fuck around, fuck around. Fuck around, fuck around. It's like the whole thing. That's fucking heart disease going, bro. Yeah.

Fuck around, find out. Palestinian kid throws a rock in an IDF checkpoint. They shoot him. Fuck around, find out Palestinian kid throws a rock and an IDF checkpoint. They shoot him. Fuck around, find out. Okay, man. Is that, yeah, I know. I know. What did you say that from the comfort of your fucking lays your crooked lazy boy?

Yes. You got 600 pounds leaning on it one way. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that on. That's the new American flag. Fuck around, find flag Big fat guy Is it really new now yeah, it's not new

So I got on the scale yeah, there's as a lot right right right? Yeah, and it says 203 You've been I said, 203. Yeah. This is, I grabbed, I was leaning under, I grabbed some underwear on the laundry machine, I said, oh, my heavens, 203.

Yeah. Mercy, mercy. Oh, oh, oh, honey, honey, you're never gonna believe this. I could, I could be a, I could be in the hundreds again. Do you want to know what this means? He thought you weighed more. And I was like, shh, I was like dreaming of me,

you know, rock having like at a yacht party or something, boom, having an open shirt and not touching my stomachs, y'all fat, I, you can't look down, I mean, yeah, I got right, I got fat. I'm gonna suck that a little bit more. Thank you. Two, three. It was calibrated to negative nine.

I said this time's gonna be different. I'm just gonna stop drinking for a couple days. This time, it's gonna be different. Get under that 200, I have a one there. Oh, everything's gonna be different for me. Yeah. Everything's gonna be different for me. Oh, done with this, I can leave this horrible life.

Go make a new, go relive my 20s I mean, done with this, I can leave this horrible life. Go make a new, go relive my 20s that 190 pounds again. Yeah, right. It's incredible. Honey, you're never gonna believe, pack your bags. You got three more pounds, four more pounds, and then you're outta here. She goes out of the scale.

Yeah, it's been giving me fucked up numbers. I think Vito's been massing with it. So no, you bitch. Shut up, you bitch. Whop! Is it a digital scale? It's a digital scale. Yeah.

So then I moved it around and got back on. It's like two, 11. Really? And you think that's the accurate? Yeah, I did it about a hundred more times. Yeah, I just said that. Yeah. Oh, come on, man.

Oh, I'm shh. Open up. Fuck it. Fuck it. Yeah, yeah, come on man Pshh, open up the bucket Fuck it cuz you're not a you're not in the two o's I'm not losing 12 pounds put a gun to my head. I'm not losing 12 fucking pounds Yeah, not even for a thousand bucks. Before Thanksgiving. Absolutely. I thought I was gonna go on a Thanksgiving What's the point? It's any of those food. I'm a hundred... Yeah. I'm a hundred ninety-eight pounds. It's no stopping me. That's what I have fun.

I need this shit. That's really all. Fucking fat pigs. Alright, here we go. Is that thing... It's 222 already. Yeah. It's never happening in which video games... No! Yeah! Yeah, it's ever happening you with video games. No

Welcome to dick you want to get you to do you better show them to contest give me a lot of mountain bunkers You can't even heart-ass do you have your own your hosting master? Okay, just want to be my man Dreamy always is world touring LA based comedian world famous Sean the audio engineer. Hello dick man I got so many fights brewing you do you really fights going every which way I'm fighting the good Remember that guy that said pronouns because they put a pronouns in his video games and he had a little shit fit crying about it Yeah He like King hippo That goes to black metal. He like King hippo. Oh gonna call somebody? They're the fucking, I get named pronouns.

They're essential to my daily routine. Okay. You're fighting with him now. I'm fine with everybody. Wow. How many fights you got going? You're gonna be on pronouns at all. Fightin' a five front war.

I actually like them. Because it's hard for stupid people to keep track of stuff. So the more things you have to keep track of. Yeah. In a conversation, the more easily you'll be fuddled up and excused from the conversation. Oh, okay. So you try to put hammer people with as many threads and stories so they start fumbling and shorting out. Yeah. I mean, that's a, that's a tried and true argument technique

is just keep, keep, keep distracting. Ronowns. You know what I talk about pronouns? It's actually Mrs. Potato Head. Shut up, you fat bitch. As opposed to what? Another in Zimzer, whatever fucking pronouns. Was there Miss, Miss Potato Head? Well, you gotta call them Mrs, right?

I guess, I mean. How's that different? Mr. Potato Head. That's, wow, you got a fat wife. Don't call my wife fat. Oh, that's okay. So she is, I guess, I know what's fat wife. Don't call my wife fat. Oh, that's okay. So she is, I guess, I know what's fat ever. Don't call her my wife. Yeah. Right. Oh, can you believe that? I don't call them she or he or something. Oh, yeah. What about your fat wife? How dare you?

Don't call my wife, fat. Okay. I can't. I can't believe there's you're they're so offended by something well It's just it's funny just because like I Can get offended by a lot of stuff, but pronouns are not one of them. Yeah, like that just it just doesn't it doesn't like it Secretly like a girl or something that's the problem. I don't know maybe maybe so, but it doesn't like none of that has ever Really stuck in my crawl in a way that makes me look up. I'm fine.

It doesn't, doesn't impact my thinking or life in any one shape or four. I don't think I'm giving away my identity by calling somebody what they want to be called. They just, I really honestly do not think it affects me in the slightest. That's the least part of the, that's the least most painful part of this conversation. The pronoun part. Okay, let's just get through it and we can go back to being alone without dealing with each other, if you don't mind.

He's fighting with me. Some other guys fighting with me too, yeah. We got a new bonus episode out where Maddox, we finally found out why Maddox didn't get asked back to that YouTube. Did we? We did. So Maddox said that just in what,

Maddox gave a speech at a media and culture and he was on a panel, marketing panel. And then Justin Wang posted that he was on it and then Mattics said that because Justin Wang did that, he didn't get asked back to do the panel. That may not be true. That may not be the reason why. It may not be. It could. We found the panel and watched it

on the bonus episode. Yeah. At Patreon.com slash the Dukshov. And it could possibly be. The reason why Maddox didn't get asked back, it could might possibly be that he opened the panel by talking about the YouTube shooter and that he wasn't being monetized

for his coverage of the YouTube shooter and that CNN was and that it wasn't being monetized for his coverage of the YouTube shooter and that CNN was and that it wasn't fair. I still think it was probably Justin Wang. I don't know that that was enough to turn people off to his insight. You think they got any emails after that guy that looked like a terrorist talking about the YouTube. That was a really weird way to start the panel off. I don't know if you guys should do that next time.

It was, it was pretty stunning. Yeah. The way he said it. He, yeah, he, he's a master of the segue though. Yeah. If you were charged, if you were charged with doing a seminar and you had to work that in to your speech. Yeah. How do you think you could do a better job? Yes, you do. I do. So you wouldn't just start immediately?

No. Like an anecdote when someone, when one of the other marketing guys finish his talking, you wouldn't jump and go, you know, that reminds me of the YouTube shooter that we just say. Very unfortunate. Very unfortunate.

Yeah. YouTube fucked me. YouTube fucked me out of some, I could have been making 200 bucks. I was making quality news-related shooting content. Yeah. I mean, it's, CNN was talking about the shooting.

I was talking about the shooting. No difference. I don't get any money at all. I had tens of journalists watching that. I've always been the damn thing. I've always been, I've made my reputation as an internet journalist Yeah, right right? Well else would I be on this panel? Yeah You're not on the panel anymore. What why

That it was it was amazing It was amazing my It was amazing. It was amazing. My girlfriend called me the cheapest man in the world. And I found out. Wow. We were sitting around and how it was great. The cheapest man on the wall.

It's the ultimate flex. Oh, we were sitting around. Some couples there at Halloween. Someone got it straightened. You don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink natty ice. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, someone else buys it for me. Yeah, there you go.

That's... Ah! Obviously, you guys... Do you get your sugar and splendor from Starbucks? Yeah, it's just... No, it's my past down, my grandma when she died, she left me her Mexican box of splendors that she's been collecting for... Collecting for...

Yeah, for 50 years. Yeah, I mean... Some of them had logos them had logos that you don't even see anymore. Right, how many 15 year old packets of Del Taco hot sauce do you have? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so we're sitting around at this table, my friend that I didn't buy. Obviously, I would never do such a thing.

Table at a Halloween party. Some bar. Yeah, yeah. And now I'm talking about going to Vegas. Oh, this place is great. The fucking cosmos is great. The Aryas is great. I like one of the women turns to her

is because, oh, where do you guys stay? When's the last time you went to Vegas? Where do you guys stay at the MGM or something? One of these new hotels, you stay at the Cosmars? Something, she goes, oh no, my boyfriend would never, we would never stay there. My boyfriend's the cheapest man on earth. I said, I just went,

ah, get a load of that boys. I bet none of your wives would ever say that shit about you. Right, like that son of a bitch. Nice Rolex he got there, but I'm afraid that nothing, no, I bet no woman has ever said that about you. Yeah. Ah, you'll never know this feeling of satisfaction. Oh no, he would never buy that.

We would never say there. My boyfriend's the cheapest man in the world. Ah. I don't even know if it's true. You've arrived. I'm probably not, but it's like when a girl says, Oh, your dick is huge. It's like, it's not, it's not huge,

but I like that you said it. Yes. You feel that, it's like when a girl says, oh your dick is huge. It's not huge, but I like that you said it. Yes, feel that. I'm probably not the cheapest man in the world because China is part of the world. It's, you know, lots of cheap places in the world, but for that moment, are gonna get called a Jew Hater. I think it's good to be cheap though.

Well, it's like me saying Asians are good at math. It's good to be good at math, right? I think it's great to be cheap though. Well, it's like me saying Asians are good at math, it's good to be good at math, right? I think it's great to be as cheap as possible. Frugal? Yeah. You call Frugal. Free candy. Extremely careful with money.

We got enough fight about the Halloween candy. I'm so cheap. It's like two bags. What are you fucking thinking? And then I see her up there, out there giving out candy. Is she giving out fucking handfuls. I know to get rid of it.

What is this fucking this? One at one age. Well, one, okay, you might be the cheapest man on earth. But what's the difference between giving out one and a, it's shitty candy. None of them. Those little tiny, like the tiny with S ones, I make her open the smarties and give them out one by one.

Two packs of smarties will last all night at our house Now this is what I ate before the show right? I'm gonna small races a small amateur No, it's gonna need two for you need to give it you need to give kids three of these oh fuck off Give them there's they can walk all they're limited only by their ability to walk about how much candy I especially if you have two bags especially if you have two bags. Especially if you have two bags. I didn't have two bags. I only wanted one bag.

I would have got $1 with the Smarties and the Lollipops. Oh my God. Actually, these are the worst fucking candy that the fucking best. That shit is chalk and it's actually sugar that doesn't taste like sugar. I might be part black. That's my favorite candy.

How bad you can fuck up a sugar. Smarties can do it. But this is a bougie neighborhood. So are there a lot of kids here? No, there wasn't. Okay, yeah, then you could have been, one bag would have been probably the right thing to do. Did you get through the first bag?

Not only by, no, and the neighbors had a Halloween kids party. So she was like, I fucking told you, two bags is not, they're gonna come right there over here. Well, they probably got a run into their bags and they started trick-or-treating the neighbors did with their 20 kids or whatever. And then with the opposite way. And she's like, I think that might be,

I think that might have been on purpose. That party never came to our house. I was like, yeah, you think. might be, I think that might have been on purpose. That party never came to our house. It's like, yeah, you think. Could be. You think house music, two in the three in the morning is. Yeah, they're like fucking filed that away. We're not going to have fun. Maybe so, yeah.

There's gonna be, these kids may see things that they don't, they probably shouldn't be seeing. Too many, yeah. Girls take an Uber out of that house. We're not gonna go over there. Yeah. Yeah. Two things. See, not gonna go over there. Yeah. Yeah. Two things.

See, the smarties are like exotic, though. In a neighborhood like this, you're gonna have a smartie loving kid is gonna be like, oh, thank God that that house was giving away these smarties. They're all out this chocolate chip. That's what people around here give out to feel like grounded or in touch with like a and a poor grounded. Yeah. Smarties.

Why don't you even start talking about that? Oh yeah, the cheapest man in the world. The cheapest man in the world, yeah. So this, so we're looking at, we have all day Saturday to do nothing. Yeah. You guys, well, maybe I'll play a video game. Okay. Okay, she goes, does any, did any new video games look good to you?

I'm like, no. You're thinking, okay, this is not a purchase. I don't want to play video games. I don't want to play video games for your amusement all day. Okay. As is usually what happens. Right. Right.

Why don't you play something for me? Why don't you play an inner one of your interactive adventures so I can watch like I'm watching a Twitch stream. Does she kind of talk shit? No, I just don't want to like solve puzzles for someone else's amusement. No, but I mean like that's what like if I'm watching somebody play games then I talk shit.

No, she'll try to fuck it up. She'll go like jump like at the wrong time. Oh, that's okay. This is one of, yeah. One of those. Right. Like no, no video games look good to me. If you want to play one by all means go for it You got all day. She's like, well, yeah, what about that Mario game?

What did that look good to you? Which Mario? No the new one like gay Mario really? Yeah, you could be a big fat lady like an elephant Huh, or you can get this flower that makes everything gay and it dances around and all the tubes are like wiggling around. A gay way that makes you think of big cocks wiggling in your face. Okay. They did the, that's the game. Got it. No, it doesn't look good to me.

Looks gay actually, so no. I don't want to play that game. He's like, well, maybe I'll play it. Is it okay? Go for it. It's right there. Then tennis over there. If you so happen to want to play any games that you're so big on all of a sudden, I'm not going to play it though.

Okay. It goes, hmm, maybe I'll play this fucking Alan Parsons 2, out project 2 game. What is that? Alan Parsons project. I don't know what it was called. Alan Wick or something. Okay. Looks like dog shit and she loads it up and it just looks like one of those games.

It's like a movie. I'm like, no. Right. Don't play. So it's like, yeah. Out my Saturday, maybe I'll play the game. Maybe I'll play this game if it's the one I want to play. Right. No. Don't play that one. She's like, well, then you have to play Mario game. Right. It's okay. Fine. I'll play the game. I'll hear a game. Play the game. Mario game. 60 bucks later. Yeah. Like playing for about two levels. She goes, I'm kind of hungry.

I'm gonna go get a pizza. Uh oh. I was like, I'm gonna go get a pizza. I'm gonna go get a pizza. Yeah. What? I guess I'll just sit and look at the not barely any played at all game then.

Right? Yeah. Just sit there going sweating like fucking Jordan Peeel or whatever that guy's name is the meme. Okay, well, I don't wanna play the game, so I'm not getting roped into this fucking bullshit, right? Okay, yeah, yeah. So she comes back with a pizza. Hey wait till she's like,

I was just gonna use to hit Vegas next time. I stopped it, Tara's gonna be retribution. Like I stopped it, Target, to check this out. It's a puzzle. You fucking gotta puzzle. She loves puzzles. For $8, when I just it target to check this out. It's a puzzle. You fucking got a puzzle. She loves puzzles for $8 when I just spent $60 on this fucking game that now no one's place like I think I'm gonna do this puzzle and play and play pizza and puzzles So then who's playing the fucking game?

You have to yeah now so Three hours later. It's like when the kid when when the kid, you know, hammers their parent for, you know, mommy, mommy, I want a rabbit. I want a rabbit. Guess who takes care of the fuck? Yeah, yeah. Guess who plays the video game. Yeah. Me. Yeah. So we do the puzzle.

It defeats a tired, all the eating the pizza made me so tired. Okay, I want to take an app. I'm like, well, maybe I'll just fiddle around pizza. I'll make a tire. Maybe I'll just fucking fiddle around. You know, fairness. So how did the game go? How did you just play the game? The game's fine. Maybe I'll just fiddle around. Pizza will make a tire. Maybe I'll just fucking fiddle around. No fairness. So how did the game go? How did you just play the game?

Game fine. I guess I'm playing the game. So if you had just played a game to begin with, you'd be, you'd have 68 bucks. I would, yeah. Right? Or more and more with the pizza, right? What do you mean?

Well, I mean, if I had just played the, no, I was just playing the money. No, but if you had just played a game, did you just play a game? I didn't want, well, I'm not to play a game? I didn't want. Well, I'm not going to play a game I already fucking have. Why not? People play games I already have all the time. Because then she'll complain about that because if I'm playing F zero, it's like, wow, you can even finish 70th. I'm like, why don't you shut up? What's F zero racing game?

Yeah, it's an online racing game. F zero. It's free. It comes with your Nintendo. Oh, okay. So, you can finish 70th. Just wow, you can finish in 70th place. Hey, why don't you, why don't they, you know,

would you go get a piece? Why don't they even place you after 10th? Why don't you shut it? Yeah. There's a Christmas gift for patrons. Do you want to see it? Sure. If I have my phone, I do.

Here, don't tell anybody what it is. Cool. I want. I'm going to send out Christmas pins for everybody. Really? We've just finished it here. Take a look at that. Pins, like a look at that.

Pins like a lapel pin. That's fucking hilarious. All right? That's great. That is a fucking, that is an amazing pin. You can rock that anywhere. It's fucking rock that anywhere you want. It's so great.

Yeah. Support whatever you want with that one. So you had an artist Corgan. Corgan to that one. It's so great. Yeah. Support whatever you want with that one. So you had an artist Corrigan. Yeah. Corrigan did that. It's great. It's a Chinese guy. It is great. You know, nobody ever found the secret Shiny that I snuck in there. Really? Yeah, maybe it's, I don't know what it is. I didn't tell anybody. Yeah. It's a real good one. Okay. So Patreon.com slash the Dix show. There's a Maddox related bonus episode in the everybody, I don't know, how to figure out how to send you the pins.

It's a good one. All of that toe guy, the pronouns guy, he did a whole video today on why me asking everybody what's their favorite part of Isom is like a bad and how I'm like a shithead. Well, so it's like a disingenuous shithead. Like see, the entire right wing griff, like guys who just rip off their fans and sell them shit, is all you a united front and circling the wagons against me asking what their favorite part of their fucking comic is. I get that. And it's also, it's also kind of, kind of human nature. When you're arguing with somebody, when somebody's controversial

and you're arguing with somebody on a point that you disagree with, it's real easy to go, well, they're fucking assholes because they're wrong on that, that, that, that, and that. It's like, what's your favorite part? People don't wanna keep it to what they're arguing. It's like, somehow it bolsters their argument to go, well, it's like, yeah, yeah, it's like, okay, well,

no, he's also a piece of shit for this, this, this, this, and this, because he's a part of the fucking comic. Just tell me what the favorite part is. Yeah. I can tell you my favorite part of this beer. It was right here, two inches from the top, but not too far. No, because then it gets warm. Exactly.

Yeah, it's okay. Some AI weirdo's fighting with me too. Oh, God. Really? Fucking math is illegal. This is this really baked my nuts this week Really this got what's worse this math is illegal shit from Biden or The tearing down these really kids posters is still going do you think I think I should turn those into NFTs The missing kids posters and sell them that you can't tear down an NFT

I'm because I don't think so. You can tear down a poster. Right. That's why I got called a Jew Hater by the fucking hummus here. Oh, hummus. I'm one of the hummus leaders. The hummus council. Yeah.

Math is illegal. Here's the White House. They went ahead and, if you're just doing any, you're just doing too much math. We got a safe, secure trust. I'm sorry, but we can't let you do all that math. Artificial intelligence. We do it all over there. You're adding numbers up and doing permutations

and finding out eigenvalues and stuff. Somebody could build a rocket out of that math. You're doing over there. You can't be doing all this math. You're not doing that in your head, are you? Oh, your rank shoot this,? Oh, you're right. Shoot this. Rainman, fucking executed. It could be a, that's a weapons of mass destruction over there.

Done. Give Tom Cruise's 80 grand and kill his fucking retarded autistic brother. New standards for AI and security. Require that developers of the most powerful AI systems share their safety test results and other critical information with the US of course, fucking blow your fucking brains out. Yeah, I can't even do fucking math in my own house. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no the house so I'm even care if the government won't let me, right? But doing math, I'm pretty sure I could do math in my own house, on my own math machine whenever I want. Well, just keep them in the loop as all they're saying. Sure, their safety tests and results develop standards and tools and ensure that AI systems are safe, secure, and trustworthy.

Actually, I'm building a AI system that's totally not safe. It's going to be wild and dangerous and say crazy shit. That's going to transform society. Not as much as a human, but I'm trying to get there. Meanwhile, the dumbest people in the world are just pumping out terror machines with semen with their cum. You're not regulating that, are you? We want the smartest people in America to not do any math.

Right. No, we got to know about it. Are you regulating all these racist cum shooters? Coming terrorists all over? Everything? Well, we can, no, they're voting. Those terrorists are voters. We can't do that.

You're fucking machine can't vote. Man, fuck you. Protect against the risk of AI to engineer dangerous biological materials. Like COVID. Yeah, God forbid. God forbid somebody have a machine that could engineer dangerous biological materials

like COVID. Protecting Americans from AI, enabled fraud, and deception by establishing standards. Well, they wanna make sure they can do it. Oh yeah, AI's really interesting. Yeah, you can't have a lying machine. What is that gonna cut in on the lying that you guys are already knowing?

Well, that's the, yeah. Is Israel gonna stop posting a bunch of thought whores on their TikTok to promote the fucking army. Hey, check us out, bro. Look at us with all of our fucking guns. It is really, like, fuck. Please don't say, bro. Yeah, because they're not your fucking friend. Those fucking bitches wouldn't, they wouldn't even, they wouldn't even acknowledge you holding

a door open for them. You don't think? No. Okay. I know women that hot. All of the world, they're exactly the same. That's one culture. That's one culture.

It's a hot women. And every culture in a fucking world, all exactly the same, speaking the same language. The door is just supposed to be open. Yeah. Uh, AI generated content and authenticating official content. Well, I mean, maybe if you just stop lying, it'd be a lot easier to identify official content.

There's gonna be a lot of people getting in trouble for this kind of stuff. They're just gonna randomly send people to jail. Well, they're obviously afraid of it, of course. Yeah. I mean, you know, they probably should be. Mm-hmm. But they're killing us, man. They're killing us on Chris. Oh, shit. They're killed. It's just like

the future. And now we're, what's it's ramping up? Like this, it started decades ago, but then as technology moves things along faster and faster, the, the taking away on the, like subjugation, because it got cheap enough for you and me to have. Yeah, I've been using it. Oh, the Pentagon's been using AI of course. Of course. For a decade since they started developing it. But now it's so cheap. You and Meek and You's like,

you've got to really crack down on this fucker. There's like, you know, there's 300 some odd fucking million of these motherfuckers out there. It makes me fucking sick. I have ideas. That I spend so much time just trying to, I spend 90% of the time escaping avoiding the government detecting something you're innovating and a small percentage of the time fucking innovating.

Right. It should be the totally the opposite. Sure. It should be no one telling you, will you stop, will you please stop progressing the human race? Yeah. Forward. You know, I mean, you think, hey, I mean, now we're looking at building floating fucking barges in the middle of the sea

with robot turrets to shoot fucking Somali pirates? Yeah. Just so we can have a machine that does math. Yeah, the, you know, but the status quo has always been afraid of change when you go back a, you know, thousands of years. You got any time anybody has any kind of weird ideas, you know, that turn out to be more correct than the current ideas. Has it always been this easy to shut it down?

Like, well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, because again, what's the transformative technology that they could just say? Like, like, like, semi-conductors. That was the last big one. Was it?

Yeah, like, like, where people were like cloning, people were cloning the PC. So like PC's gotta, let's clone that shit. Right? Yeah, yeah, sure. Like government couldn't say, well, we can't stop. Can't stop, just guys cloning.

If I can integrate in circles, what are you talking about? Yeah, everybody's gonna do it. Now everybody's got a fucking computer. Right? Well, everybody's got a computer. They could be doing too much math. So we got to shut that down. We got everyone's connected to the internet

so we can actually do that. That was exactly my point. Yeah, it's, sure, everybody's connected to some extent. Even the people who think they're barely connected are very connected. You're very connected. You're very connected. You know who you are because you're a big black spot on the map.

Protect Americans' privacy by prioritizing federal support for accelerating the development and use of privacy preserving techniques. You guys should stop collecting data. That's the goal. Stop collecting fucking data. I know you're not doing it correctly. Strengthen privacy preserving research and technologies.

Just stop doing it. That's the best way you can protect Americans from privacy, use, stop collecting their data. If I you had to have agencies collect and use non commercially available information, that's not a real thing. Everything should be... Oh, advancing equality and civil rights.

God, yeah! The AI has to learn how to be black. Provide clear guidance to landlords, federal benefits programs and federal contractors to keep AI algorithms from being used to exacerbate discrimination. Right. That they're gonna say,

hey, the computer said no. Like I am, I'm not racist. They wanna take that out, yeah. I'm your buddy, racist. They want to take that out. Yeah, buddy man, right right Yeah, computer says now man No, no loan for you Address algorithmic discrimination through training technical assistance Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cram a bunch of stupid races shit in the AI. I got it. I Haven't care about that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cram, cram a bunch of stupid races shit in the AI, I got it. I didn't care about that one.

Yeah, okay. Like it's just the whole idea that, I mean, the whole idea that like loans are driven by a free market at all. So a preposterous idea that the idea of that free market being racist is like, what are you talking about, man? Why is a home loan 8%? Black people can't even get them. Fucking good.

Should be 2%. It's not eight. Yeah, yeah, you need to go back further to say, yeah. I get it. What was it before? You know, Islam has laws against that. Just wanna let you guys know, all the people living in a concentration camp,

usually is a big no-no on their end. They're allowed to do a little bit of interest, but not know, fuck an 8%. Gouging, yeah, that's not gouging. Can't say usually, that's probably in cosmetic, but gouging, no. Yeah, huh. Yeah, Islam, usually is no-no, Islam.

So that's equitable. Might be part of their problems Let's see here Who oh, yeah, the swing from Trump to Biden. I guess that's kind of interesting That's crazy. I know everybody's not like in love with AI whatever, but it's fucking bullshit Just stay away from it man. I it man not love with anything in the news uh... women's losing some more tools in space that's cool really i love those they stopped uh...

i had the great that she liked lost a toolbox this was like what fifteen years ago or something how much is it when there are no tools how much is that worth exactly i i i a number and it was, of course, $1 billion, it was astronomical. It was like something stupid. Of course, a woman did it. So it's titled Orbital Oopsy and all this stupid shit. Orbital during a Thursday spacewalk outside the International Space Station, which woman's punched a hole in recently. And that's a astronauts. Jasmine,

Moge Belly. Oh, man, did an artificial intelligence somehow figure who would cause a fuck up on the ISS. NASA astronauts, Jasmine, Mark Belly, and Laurel O'Hara. Let's get a good look at these. Yeah, I have to put a name or face with the name. I like putting faces down. Okay, Indian lady. 40 years old. Wow, 40 years old, they still can't hold on to a fucking tool. How about that? They should either make the tools cry like a baby or paint the tool bag with Louis Vuitton shit. Like Louis Vuitton needs to come out with a NASA tool bag.

Okay, stuff is on there. Let that shit go. It says, Valiant. Can I go do the spacewalk? No, it's fine. Right, right. She'll come out there with her fucking keys like Wolverine. Out there.

Out there just in case. Is some smart ass. You're fucking dirty slavs. You may watch it, you cosmonets. You're gonna have to put the keys down to perform this maneuver, to perform this repair. I can perform it with the keys. Fuck that.

Clutch in my Louis Vuitton bag. Oh, the fucker. A dickhead emailed me recently and said, I thought you were joking about women doing that keys thing. But then I saw my girlfriend's friend do it. Yeah. Why did you think I was joking? You must be like 20 something.

I had never heard of you. Everything I'm saying about women is. I didn't think you were joking. Thank you. Because it seems like something that women would cook up that you would think might do something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to just like fold, you know, it's kind of as opposed to how your hands are.

You're going to hurt yourself. Or just running. Yeah. We're tasked with replacing a bearing of an assembly allowing the station solar array. No, no. On the side. A bearing, that means they had to undo some stuff to get bearings or they're never really on the outside, right? There's no chance a woman in history has ever understood what a

bearing is. But as they were getting ready to do their work to pair inadvertently lost a tool bag in an orbital oopsie, according to a NASA update. I like that those were all quotes. Yeah. Yeah. inadvertently lost. An object that was, I didn't think he did it on purpose. We thought you did it out of retardation. Like that's, you think a guy, one of the NASA guys could just slapper and not like just shut the can't.

Okay, hey, mission control, could you shut all the cameras out for some time? Yeah, right. Exactly. And then put them back in. It was later spotted, harmlessly floating off into the distance. That's going to take down a space station one day,

and that fucker comes around. Fortunately, the tools were not needed for the remainder of the spacewalk. Oh, that's good. How are they up there? Well, so they used them for the purpose they needed, and then lost them and lost them.

And then they just so they just finger-tighted everything back, you know, tightened everything everything back. It's good. It's snug with the screwdriver. It's just a snug, right? That's good. Plus screwdriver into the hole and turn it. Can I use the minus one?

Why do you why do you ask? Don bitch, why do you ask that? Yeah. They were not needed for the remainder of the spacewalk. Okay. Why would you say that? What are you trying to like explain like, how does not a fuck up?

How does not a big deal, a big deal. Yeah, it wasn't right. They were able to still get the job done. I hope a guy's up there and just walks out and throws all the tools just to see how the press release goes. Yeah. Oh yeah, you think that's funny?

Ah! Yeah. Let's go ahead, write that up, compare it to that. Exactly. And then argue about how fast, you know, you know, you know, you know, that's, meaning the accident hopefully won't be a big deal. Okay. Why are they even up there? Meaning the accident hopefully won't be a big deal. Okay.

Why didn't even up there? What's their fucking problem? I don't know. When they always have to ruin everywhere we ever go. Oh yeah, dead kids. Let's see. Benjamin Franklin and a headscarf. It was pretty cool actually.

Yeah, the piece of art people. No, just a bunch of guys. Oh, just a bunch of cool guys hanging out, doing protests, no big deal. Free Palestine guy. That's Scott. This is in the US or is this a as in Philadelphia? Oh, got you. I have to say, yeah, this, this is the first time in my lifetime that I can remember a fairly large and vocal opposition to Israel. Oh yeah, I know. It's a very exciting, it's a new thing. It is a new thing.

It's a very new thing. But it seems like very new. Usually I can write off like, you know, crazies on both ends a lot of time, but it's like people, you know, there's a lot of people who are fairly reasonable who are going like, dude, like, you know, crazy's on both ends a lot of time, but it's like people, you know, there's a lot of people who are fairly reasonable who are going like, dude, like, this is the, is this the right response? Like is this really, is it? This, this just sounds like kill them all and let God sort them out to me. Yeah. You know, like that's, and then people, also kill their God. I think people are fatigued with this kind of stuff where it's like,

I don't wanna hear about this shit anymore. And I'm tired of pretending that like, that like, I don't have to, actually, I don't have to pretend anymore that you guys are doing the right thing. I think you've been fucking around for a long time. Come to think of it, you were fucking around when I was a kid. I mean, it's just, didn't you kill a guy that was coming in and said he would make peace with Palestine?

I kind of remember, I remember a little bit about that. I think it's part of the reason why. I think people are just not afraid of like, just the, the ADL and everybody just going like, you're an anti-Semite, you're an anti-Semite. You think they over, you think they over did it over the during Trump, so now they're like,

oh I think they didn't kill those guys. I think they've over, I think they've over done it for years. I think, just, you know, the average person, like with like an opinion, like a reasonable opinion, it's just like, you know what? Fuck off. You can't do shit to me, you can't do shit to all of us. So it's like, you know what? Fuck off. You can't do shit to me. You can't do shit to all of us. So it's like, you know what? Shut the fuck up. I get an opinion. I can have an opinion.

You might think it's a fucking ill-formed opinion. You might think it's totally wrong, but whatever. Yeah, but fuck you. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. And it's like really like it's for so long. It's been, it's been, you know, close to a, the clients, close to a crime. Yes, close to a crime to say that everything that they're doing in retribution is not completely justified. Like it's like, you don't think about it for one minute. You don't, do you not see how, maybe if you're a parent

who just wants to get through their day and you bomb a hospital and you kill a couple of their kids, I don't know if you killed their dad and the kid you have, I don't know about you. No, I mean, I think I would hate that guy forever. Well, what's fucking crazy about it is like all of at least during this time, and they go, well, they hate us forever anyway. That's the, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't bomb that.

They were still haters, the bomb, the haters. The same. Like, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's find out. Let's find out. Yeah. Let's find out some guy, some Jewish guy was like, well, what are we supposed to do? Just take it.

I'm like, well, I mean, if you want to, if you want to stop the cycle, definitely, I mean, you want to stop the terrorism cycle. Somebody has to take it. You can't just do terrorism back and forth forever. You can't kill them all. You know that, right? Right, right. So, I mean, I don't, I don't have a preference either way, but you do what you think is best, Ned. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah. I forget what I wanted. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like ignoring this, this, this, this, uh, maximum that all of American movies and media right now or a significant amount and where the tail end of it is driven by like revenge fantasies. Oh yeah. Like John Wick is, they killed my dogs. Oh yeah. Basically going to kill their entire power structure. And then Israel's coming going like, well, what do, why do Americans

like support this terrorism? We've been, we've been doing a terrorist shift for ever. Have you guys not been watching our movies? Yeah. John Wick four sucked, but one and two. You can see it there. Sure. I just think it's interesting that it's a, it's a, a, a, it's different than Dyson in the 80s. It was about saving somebody, but now it's about revenge. Right.

John Wick doesn't get his dog back. No, he just wants to kill people. Right. Because they killed his dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very different. That's very different emotion. Yeah, for sure.

For sure, but it really is. It's just on a, on a much larger scale where it's like, hey, like, come on, this is over the top. You guys gotta think about this and plan, don't worry, they're not going anywhere. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not going anywhere.

So, I mean, maybe don't just fucking unleash everything, everywhere. They're doing, I've seen videos of the Hamas guys like doing like parkour, shit. Their videos are like, they're crawling out of holes, like Hogan's heroes putting like IED bombs on tanks and then like scooting off. Like man, you guys have, you guys Israel have fucked up

this PR war so badly. Cause you got lazy. You got fucking lazy. Well, like TikTok exists. It's kind of like, yeah, it's like the, well, they think that they have the, you know, I don't know what unfettered support. Yeah. Of, do I use that word right?

Unfettered? No, not really. Not really, that's wrong, yeah. Unconditional support. Yeah, unconditional, but yeah, support of what they've always had. It's like, well, America's wrong. Yeah. Unconditional support. Yeah. Unconditional support. Yeah. Support of what they've always had. It's like, well, America's always 100%. Because they're evangelical Christians.

White evangelical Christians. Yeah. It's like part of their religion to support Israel. Yeah. Because they think that the final Armageddon is going to be fought there and then Jesus will come. So they're like, it's like Santa Claus. It's like, oh, please fucking, please have a nuclear war and then Jesus comes.

Yeah. A lot of them. comes. A lot of them, a lot of them, because he nuts. It's crazy how important being judgmental and violent is for like all the fuck around and find out Americans. They get the ultimate fantasy of just being violent and fat and hyperbolic and judgmental whenever it comes to the Middle East. Everybody has these fantasies now.

More than ever. I think because it's everybody is realizing that you really don't have any power. You really, yeah. So it's like you have all these, you have to live in your mind. And that's really why, why, like, you know, VR, like is gonna win, and it's gonna be way better. Well, I wish they would do, well, fucking Apple and Google and the government has made it

so AI is like neutered. Like, you know, you can't jack off, you can have your jack off, waifu, pacify you. So everybody's got to be all amped up for Israel. Is that, is that, is it not Lord Miles there? Let me play this PSA. Is he in there? I can only see like the first letter of everybody's name now.

Yeah, that's him. Okay, all right. Let me play this PSA and then we'll talk to Lord Miles. Awesome. He's here. This is the stop tearing them down PSA. Oh God. So this is like a, this is an epidemic

of tearing down missing children post in, and the US. And the US. Yeah. Wow. You kidnapped and they're happening in the US. Yeah. Kidnapped and they're showing white women doing it. And then they're showing a kid. I guess he was kidnapped. Y woman, Y woman tearing off. And there's all people who were kidnapped. You get to go home, it says. Yeah. But I guess these people that got kidnapped by Hamas don't get to go home.

They don't stop tearing them down. Right. It's more propaganda that they're tearing down. It's not missing. I mean, it's not going to help to have missing people, their hostages. It's not missing. Right. They're not here.

Yeah, they're not here. Yeah, they're not here. I mean, I can't say that with 100% certainty, but I mean, I'm pretty close. I highly doubt their, you know, because, you know, terrorists walking around out in the open with, you know, like to move them and stuff. Yeah, right, you know, everyone in America

would notice that guy going through. Like, what the fuck is that guy doing? Yeah. Where's he? Have all those white people exactly? He's changed up and stuff. That's weird. They tend not to believe it when he says, shut up. Wait till we get home, son. So they're having such a good doing proper. They're doing propaganda ads for their propaganda. Oh, stop taking down our propaganda. Yeah. We notice a lot of you white women taking it down.

So we just want to say that if you see a white woman, stop, stop her. Yeah. Okay, buddy. We'll get right on that. We've been trying to do that for, I don't know, since the beginning of fucking time. Next time I see a white woman doing something, I'll say hey stop all right let's see here settle down settle down you settle down what miles are you there

is he there oh no I'm gonna mute and unmute him you know the dance I know the dance. I know the dance. Yes, there you are. Hey, we did it. We did it. Oh my god. It's so good to talk to you. I'm so pleased you're not dead. Oh, why would it be dead, man? I didn't pass through fucking London or something. It's all good. Did you feel safer with the Taliban that you do back at home? Yeah, man. Never mind. My tally grows honestly. I think I honestly had like, you know, when you're going like a tech with three tall rows of retires pay like 10 grand a month just to go to some cabin somewhere. Yes. I had the same thing before in Afghanistan. If anything, I'm actually thinking about setting up a paid service. So, oh yeah, it'll be great. Honestly, imagine,

imagine just like spending a month or two with a tow band to detox from online shit. I mean, I would love to talk to those guys. They have this look, they have this look in their eyes. Like every picture I see the Taliban, they kind of have this look of like, like they can't believe they lucked out and that the US finally fucked off. Yeah. And like they all are just still so happy. Yeah. Every picture I see.

Wait for the other shoe to drive. Yeah, like you mean we, but we have our country back. Really? Big if true. Woo hoo. So half of them, half of them actually felt in the press too. Because they're like, yeah, I wish I died in the war.

I had the opportunity like six months or four to die in like a suicide bombing, but I didn't take it. So now I'm just living like a meaningless existence just doing paperwork and fucking to book. Oh, no, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like one struggle, man. So they're having like survivors guilt and like, they're having to like have like the depression

of like a civilized society, the men who are not engaged in like a war against an undefeatable enemy. That's funny. Okay, wait. So tell Sean, what happened to you? You're a crazy explorer, but then I think eight months ago, you just went missing. Yeah, man. So I was ever full of kibble.

I've been the front lines of Ukraine, always other stuff, and also stay in Thailand, too. And then suddenly, I go to Afghanistan to just casually open a gold mine as you do, it's like economic goofing off. And then suddenly I go missing for like eight months, everyone thinks I'm dead, everyone thinks I'm a mastery and executed, all the leaks of fake. I came out of my best friends with her and I was the best treated prisoner of all time pretty much. I had my laptop, I went to the water park with them, I went to meetings, I met the ministers, I basically pitched my business to invite to me back. Again, me as the typical, that makes me an honorary member of a Moja Hardin. I've got a lot of stuff.

One of the guys said, oh, do you have a chance of you getting a citizenship? I'm like, so you know I'm going to do that. You know I'm going to do that feel there might be a chance for you to get citizenship? I'm like, so you know what I'm gonna do, Matt? Latz, you know what I'm gonna do with that? If I do get citizenship, I'm gonna go to like, I'm gonna go to like Oxford University or something, like one of the big ones here, I'm gonna do these. Yes. And then I'm gonna walk in, I'm gonna walk

through your missions office, and I'm gonna go, hey, read hard dips, yes. Anyway, I'm fucking retarded, and I've got like no qualifications, and I think I'm just gonna study study and I would just waste the time I wouldn't even like I think I'll just kick two babies and stuff but I am an afghan like I am I am non-white and I'm like Are you Asian? I'm like no and they're like oh shit wow let them through he's a minority. Wow Yeah, you're the biggest minority in the world right?

Afghan citizen. Yeah, you're the biggest minority in the world, right? Afghan citizen. Yeah. I might just I might claim welfare. You know, so you were you went there to do a gold, a gold mine, you went there to open a gold mine, you went to Afghanistan. So this is after when did you go there? What day did you go before after the fall of like the US occupation? I've been five times, man. In the last two years.

So I was there three days before for fall of Kabul on like a holiday. So I became the last ever touristing in Kabul as you casually do, you know what I mean? It happens to the best of us really. I mean, I just goofed off on both sides, met like special forces, it's children of them, side drinking,

as like the place has been shot up, whatever, back you reached out, went back, met the Taliban, children of them. And I started selling Taliban much. So I was buying like headbands and shit to the thing on eBay. It's not sanctioned.

So I'm like, this is big markets. What the shit, how did money somehow? How? Sorry, go ahead. Now that's your question. I was gonna say, how are you just like walking around? Like, I don't know. I just go there.

And you're like, you're talking with, you know, American forces or whatever and then Taliban, like it's just like, hey, guys, I'm not in this, but hang on. I got a couple questions. Yeah. That's cool, man. I'm just walking around one point to as the as the force happening, I'm like, shit, I need to get the airport. So I held down and attacked him.

All my money, my pocket and gave it, take me over and out. And I thought, when did you know that shit was going south? Like you said, I just, the Taliban put out like a, I think it was a tweet or a TikTok was something saying, hey, if you guys don't withdraw or just give up, we're going to like just take a ball by four.

So lo, you know, so no decision by 3pm. So I'm like fuck fuck fuck, that's in one hour. So I was like running around and I was actually enjoying it too. As I was running through football, I had small my face, it was like we were in as high. You know what I mean? But anyway, it was a great motivation. And when I was fucking in the car, I tried to book a flight out for my credit card. Of course, it's like $800, you know what I mean? So for my credit card, but of course, like $800 you know what I mean, so it fladdub, because it's like, what was this man doing spending

money left in? Card. This was dead by fried prevention. Yeah. Yeah. So this is before you got card, right? This is before you got detained. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, a Rajin or some fucking Indian bloke, you know, customer service. And he's like, oh, hello, so I'm gonna help you. I'm like, I'm fucking Taliban coming. I'm blocked my card, you wanker.

And he's like, sorry, to hear you having problems. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to fucking die. I'm freaking out, got the card on blocked. All flights suspended. So I'm just wondering through Kabul, who's Taliban come up to me? And they're like, you know, what, what are you doing here?

I'm like, tourist, they're like, are you stupid? I was like, maybe. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100% and they, and they go, wait, you're British. And I go, and they look at my passport, they pissed off. You know, I mean, something tells me they don't like the British.

You have these two lads, obviously, I had bad experiences or something. Right. So I, I cooky, funy fun warm the spots and I'd say actually brother I'm part of the United Kingdom but there's a country called Wales I'm from there so we got invaded by England like 200 years ago. Oh, we're the same. You're pretty good. Is that true? Are you from Wales? Oh, no, of course not. No, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, I'm not into sheep. All Welsh people fuck sheep, it's a hundred percent of fat guy, but I'm like, oh my god. They were like, what well, I was like, just a bunch of farmers and hills and sheep.

And they were like, oh, like, you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I think he did one struggle. One struggle, he patting me on the shoulder and said, oh, enjoy your holiday. So I was like, oh, I got to this compound that was housing, like foreigners, like huge crowd of askins. So I just pushed through some white. I mean, I flashed my passport. It was like a Turkish dude, like a Turkish soldier. That was a scanning people and I say, I've got a British passport. He goes, no, no, no, no, Turkish

people only. And like, I go, don't worry, my friend, I'm not Greek. And he just laughs his ass off, because you know, turquing Greek people. Yeah, sure, of course. Yeah, me. They let me in. So I'm sucking soldiers, Greek. And you know what the first thing they do is, they give me a fucking Wi-Fi password,

which I think is the most retarded thing they can do. Oh, look at that. Yeah, so I saw life through the internet. It's very generous. They're like, why is that a password? They won't give you a Wi-Fi password anywhere in America, you know, and that's just a McDonald's or something. They're like, I was like, I was like, they won't give you a life-i-pass where any wearing a marico, you know, and that's just a McDonald's, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I told myself I was a refugee, so it kind of worked. So I was just goofing off really. So I live streamed the entire thing. One of the special forces, like commanders knocked on my room. I ended up live streamed. He just started shouting and he was like, hey, that fucking restaurant kid blah, blah, blah. Like, what, just started shouting and he was like, yeah, that fucking restricted blah blah blah blah.

I was like, what, when you gave me the wifi, like, and they were pissed, they were live streaming it. One, the command was pissed, but we were the other people below, but it was just a flop out, so I feel like I'm probably like, I guess. So they seem to have better,

like a little looser than we might think that way. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so the most recent recent one when you were missing for eight months, how and why did you get picked up there? Because it seemed like you were going back and it was more like, I mean, it kind of seemed like you were doing like a routine visit of the Taliban to when you were doing it. And when you didn't show up again, I was like, how the fuck like did he get caught? Not in this shot. You followed this. Oh, big time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big time. I've been

a lot of miles forever. Got it. Um, yeah. Uh, how did you get? How did you get picked up and why and why did they? Why did they cut you off from the outside? What, you know, tell the whole story. Yeah. So out of the time, I had a house and couple. So I was like renting this one place. As you do, you know what I mean? Um, and time I had a house in Kabul. So I was like renting this one place as you do, you know what I mean? And then I had to pay rent. So I was like, shit, I can't use the ATM because the Swift network doesn't work like that. So bank cars don't work. You guys send money through Western Union. So I went back in myself like a thousand dollars a little bit more. If if lag summing up where they wanted to check my name and stuff. So

when I walked out of Western Union, two soldiers were sitting there, like guns pointed me, they were like, yeah, come with us, come with us. I was like, fuck me. And then I went to this building, and they were like, oh, we think your weapons dealer, the Russian intelligence has told us,

you keep going to like Ukraine and here, so they suspect you're like, by smuggling weapons across the border. Wow. I'm like, I'm like, and smuggling weapons across the border. Wow. I'm like, I'm like, I don't like Ukraine, I'm a kind of Russian pill, you know what I mean? First. And they were like, maybe, but you know, we got a check, you know what I mean? How many weapons were you accused of dealing exactly?

Yeah, no idea, but they were like, what's this money for? I was like, well, clean up on weapons, but it's a thousand dollars. Yeah. Fucking, I can buy like, you know, not good. I can buy like 300 bucks. I'm gonna buy 300 dollars. Oh, no. 100 bucks. Gansden, man, you can buy an M16 for like $200.

Oh. Okay. I should know that because I'm not working. Right. But I'm just like, oh shit. Okay. And then you also thought I was a spy, because you know what my best friends during interrogation, so I had two people with me. Okay.

He fucking snitched on somebody I didn't even do. So he got pulled aside. So you went there with two people at your last, your most recent visit to Afghanistan, you took two friends? Yes, me. Okay. Yeah, just to help me open my goal mind as you do.

You know, it's like a lot's holiday and then This is the life I want Sean not this life of arguing about video games in Halloween candy you can do this I couldn't do this I've got I've got people like a nigger pass. I've got the n-word passing cool. I'm asking for pretty much So I can just we can pop down What is the what is an n-word pass in the with the Taliban? I'm asking I'm not pretty much. So I can just we can pop down. We can have the what is the what is an N word pass and that with the Taliban? Right. I've been pro Taliban since day one.

By the way, I think I have been I have a long track record being pro Taliban. No, no joke. They said we go give you this document, Mars. It basically says you are on a remember for Mujahaddin. You cannot be searched on my territory checkpoints. you cannot be stopped in Mayor Terry Checkpoints, you can go anywhere in Kabul that's not a Mayor Terry Bay, so like restricted area, which is pretty much like office buildings and shifts sometimes, and you cannot be questioned or

detained beyond checking the validity of this document, and it says anyone who stops you beyond checking the validity of this document or it says anyone who stops you beyond checking the validity of his document or hinders your mission, which I think is hilarious, will be imprisoned themselves. Oh, you had it. They get it, you had it. Yes. But you had that or you got that recently,

they're talking about. I've called that. So if you tell him I had like, Mod, come back for the gold mine, come back for some business. We love you, bro. I'm like, I love you too, my friends. That's incredible. Okay, so wait.

So you're two friends got, all you guys got detained and you're two friends ratted on you. You were saying you were out, right? Yeah, no, one of them did. One of them just told them straight up, Mars might be a spy. They were like, don't just like, oh, anything you want to tell us,

they weren't under a jurist, who's just a normal conversation, sitting down on chairs and sofas, having tea. He just goes, yeah, my was might be a spy. Obviously I was raising some fucking eyebrows, doesn't it? I'm not missad miles. I'm just goofing off miles, you know what I mean? I'm just, I'm not, am I a sex?

My house. To working intelligence, no, I am not. To working intelligence, you must have intelligence. I'm clearly fucking lacking on. You're like, why did he say that? He's just like, got freaked out. I think he's just like, really autistic. He's just fun board or maybe he just threw me underneath a bus. But I've got a blackmail on him.

So I'm just holding that over his head. If you try and fuck me over again, we can remain like civil friends until we grow apart. If you try and scream me over again, your life is over. Do you understand? He's like, yeah. I literally have like 93 audio recordings of him saying the N word. So I basically go, I've got like a draft email send it to every university professor, every job that I've been married on.

Yeah. And this individual just not have an N word pass. I take it. So he does the 93 instances are gonna go bad. And I would make a lot of you instead of the N word pass. He is like, I'll have a Alabama pass, that's way cooler. Well, I mean, he's kind of higher state.

He might have N word pass, because he's like, temsa Italian, and Italian's the most people out there. You only like the southern ones are basically the kids. Well, I mean, that's Vito tries to tell me that shit too. Well, you get minorities too. You got the moors and stuff. I mean, Italy is different because you have those weird like Swiss German Italians in the North.

With like names like Reinhold Messner. He's an Italian. No, he is. He is not. He's not. Yeah. Did they think you were a, did you have to answer questions like are you a spy? Like did they?

So my two friends left. Did they talk to you? No, no, no, no. My dad's a my telebrows. If I was being tortured, I wouldn't be going back in like a few weeks, man. I wouldn't think. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Like, you know, very tortured is like having to speak to fucking women nowadays, you know what I mean? Yeah, one struggle, man. That's something to I had eight months without women women I felt so a calm man I think I was I became enlightened for a little bit. What am I doing in my life? I'm not doing this clearly not traveling You could just go live your dreams. We can make it happen dude open a gold mine never talk to women again

I can tell the tale man if a woman gets within 10 feet of me shooter If you have the right paperwork if I have the right paperwork. Yeah, I do have a weapons license Afghanistan now because that that license that he's a paper for on already mooja hardy one basically says Yeah, I was gonna own like a gun like a PK air rocket launch Every time you say mooja hadin I think of Rambo 3, and it gets me high. Yeah, I watch Rambo 3. I watch with the Taliban. No, that was sick.

You watch Rambo 3 with the Taliban. What a dead-dead Lichy Soy face. And they're like, what the hell is the Taliban like? That's what I'm saying. That's us! That's us! I know that guy! Okay, so, so you're there for eight months.

Break down the, what was the, like, was there like getting to know, like, it was there, it was probably like, oh fuck, I'm going to be here for a long time. And are they like, are they imprisoning you? Is there like a acknowledgement that you're not allowed to leave or communicate? Like, I'm not that bad. I'm figuring you out. Yeah, whether you're a spy, what's going on with you, whether you're a jacksaurus, exactly. Exactly.

Yeah, I can have that. So basically, I'm taking to this guesthouse area because they're like, okay, well, we think Miles is based because we've just read his book. I had a copy of my book on me and he read through it and they were like, shit, it's actually quite fire to be fair. Like it's all about Afghanistan. Shane was a plug writer. And then he saw my tweets and stuff.

And it turns out like half an intelligent intelligence they see following me at some point So I'm like they're very like oh shit. You're that guy. I'm like fucking I'm that guy and they're like oh like your tweets I was like thanks man, and he turns like it helped me out of it like no, but you know go treat you good I'm like yeah no problem man, and they look through my stuff and they asked me if I was a spy do they would go Mars We know you're a spy man just admitting serve you to your sentence and you'll be released But until then you know you can be stuck in like limbo for months. I'm like, not a spy man. And it's like Mars, we know you're a spy, but we want to give you a job or pay you and like, you know, to tell us, you can be a counter spy. Yeah, okay.

And I was like, sorry, no. And they're like, Mars, we know, we know you're a spy, but if you don't admit it, you know, there could be a huge sentence or even corporal punishment, you know, just like death and stuff execution. But like, you know, just admit it now, you'll be fine, man. I'm like, no, I'm a nice spy. And after a while, what we did is they invited me to like the GDI their headquarters, like the intelligence agency. And I'm sitting there in a there in this picnic with like Peacocks behind me and like you know It's it's Practical garden type plate. It's night. It's lush and the commanders are sitting there and they say oh Submars, you know, we think you're you think we think a chill if only crime you've technically committed Because you know weapons daily you're not a spy we think we're pretty sure in arts like 99% you know and

You know how spy we think, we're pretty sure we're not. Like 99% you know. And the very thing you've done is like, not had a license to go to the goldmine area like the mountain. You're meant to have a license that grow, but she happens, no problem. You know, minimum six months sentence, I went in through the whole judicial system, that was chill.

And then you went through the whole judicial system? Yeah, quite briefly, quite quick. It was just like, yeah, no, fine. That's like, you know, straight sentence. You went to court in Afghanistan. There's like a judge hearing your case out, you had a lawyer and all that stuff. It would be a tent, it's an attend.

It's an attend. It's not like a lawyer, but they have like a commandeering stuff and he's presenting evidence. It's like a military and stuff. Okay. Yeah, it's quick. Quick, quick, I like you that way.

And they were like, don't let me know. It's all your stuff. They were like, I got it. They're I like you that way. And they were like, do I go or kill? Yeah, they were like, my God, they're like, you're the bridge between the British or European governments and like, the Afghan government, you could be like, I don't know, don't go back. I'm not just doing your own thing, the Taliban. God, don't go back to Britain, the Britain thing. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, keep going, sorry. Yeah, no, sure, it was hilarious. I was there like, I'm your guide,

or like, yeah, you're a guide, bro. And I was like, okay, what do I do, dude? And all like, you can come back after it's most likely if you want to, but we're gonna give you some good conditions. You know, small crime, small, minimal security prison. You know, it's like you treat it nice, but if you actually are a spy or a murderer, you go to like a maximum security prison, do know, it's like you treat it nice, but if you actually are a spy or a murderer You go you go to like the maximum security prison, you know, I mean, no, like what do you want?

You're allowed some things from your personal possessions. You can't have your phone of course, and I was like What about my laptop and you're like fucking you have your laptop? Do you go right another book? I was like, yeah, if you don't mind. I'm like, yeah, that's perfect man Don't like do you want a bible? I was like, hell Bible? I was like, yeah, it's all good trick question The Bible trick question should have said correct Yeah, I asked him I asked him like hey you chill with a Bible don't like yeah, yeah, I was like you chill with all religions and don't like No, not some of them and I said yeah, I'm not sure of Jews either and I said, yeah, I'm not sure if Juziva. And he's so lovely. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like not means for like America's down to like fascism whatever they have Roosamovies. Yeah. Oh man. The like

Chad I showed him this video. Oh, he saw something. Yeah, he saw him in there. Yes. scrolling, but my mouse is always bust. Yeah, as well as what it's basically so you have a funny family guy video where like the fat for fat dads just eating all the food of a children It's starving around it. John Goodman. Yeah, that one. Yes Yeah, I don't want on good most labeled of Israel and the other children are like America, Europe, small business for governments

And they were like you don't like Jews or like lam and not not big fans to be fair like on Christian, you know One struggle brother, and they like, fair enough my dude. And they were like, yeah, my dude, like a South Park episode when Carman stays up all night talking to the Taliban. It's like, guys, they told me some stuff, I told them some stuff about Jews, they didn't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I was like, I was throwing out like all the statistics and stuff.

I was like, yeah, all these, all these like newscasts and stuff. And they were like, not- HISTICS, we haven't tried this angle. Tell us a little more about that. I'm trying to find the thing you posted in the livestream. Yes. Yeah, so if you want to just call, just take for the top right chat button with our faces on it. And it will come up with the live show chat.

OK. Very over the bottom. Oh, I'll just send a dot right now. Okay. Like I was just saying, so much over there. Oh, okay, there. Here we go. Yeah, I'm there.

Oh yeah, okay. Okay, he's going. So you showed that to the Taliban and it warmed their hearts. Right. Oh, this is a cock race of their hearts. It's too true, man. It's sub cock. Yeah.

They were like, you're right to be fair. Like, you're like, you're a guy, Miles. I'm your guy. And I told him I have a gold mine as well. Dreaming's herrogation. So walking my roof. And walking my roof like gold. We got to get this gold out of the hills before they come in and say,

you're like, guys, you're all in, right? Let's go They seem to be really up on their like western slang like my guy like Yeah, are they speaking English? Do the high-roops can speak good English? They've got to translate all over all the ones at the house spoke like five words But they were funny. There was one guy. He was like a comedian with five words, he made it work, you know what I mean? He was just chill. So he would go into my room and he would see my laptop to watching some anime and stuff and he would go, what, what you, you, my laptop, my sleeping laptop finished and I would just like motion but I would pick him up and stick his head in the toilet if he did that.

And we would just high five and laugh together. If I was listening to this, tell me how to kick by man, he was chill. I love it. What is his name? Say his name again. Iqbal. Iqbal. Yes, man. Okay. So what month is this when you're describing, yeah, like month one and a half, man. So I'm just chilling. I'm watching movies. and then also as well they're like oh yeah, Miles you got arrested like that thousand dollars so here you go you can spend that and I realize holy shit this is half a year salary in afghanistan so I start partying man I'm ordering takeaway and stuff. I'm like sending I got like take away. You could buy one pack of chips for five cents.

So you can see what I was doing there. Oh, it's just this afghan brand, but it's solid to be fair. It has like slow the soy slop in it, but I love it. Do they have drugs or liquor or anything like that or nothing? No liquor, but through fair, I did ask them if I could take some steroids, but they said no. You had them with you No, no, I was like I was like hey if there was a link and I go get some from a pharmacy no like now I was not allowed but I had the idea of and if I'm gonna be here a long time I'm gonna buy some gym equipment. Yeah, just find myself tons of eggs every day and just roaring myself

I come up huge because I'll be funny, you know, they're afraid you'll take you'll afraid you'll ramble out. They'll take it over. Oh, yeah. Exactly. It'll link M16s and have you juice in there. Okay. So you're you set up you kind of acclimate to the the prison situation. And then at some point you I don't know if this is true but at some point you get a tour of Osama bin Laden's caves That's coming up. So he sent me down I was really like YouTube videos if you want a tour of tour of board like bin Laden's caves next time you come

Man will give you like a military escort or stuff and we'll just show you around you make a good video I'm like how are you I'm gonna take the offer yeah right now you make a good video. I'm like, how are we going to take that offer? I know, sometimes when I'm out, because I'm out of prison now, of course, I'd be out of like, well, two weeks, three weeks, I just, I just FaceTime the Taliban just call them up and we just send memes through travel and stuff. It's solid. We just, we would call, yeah. Are you out of the country now? No, I'm sadly in this very dangerous place called England. It's a trial overrun by criminals. Yeah, England is by brown people.

It's very cringe. Let's go back to month two. Once you're used to your life in Afghanistan, you know what it's going to be? What was like month two on after that? Yeah, so I would have a routine. So I would wake up, I would listen to music, I'm listening to the system down, listen to some abo, I get some eggs and some like,

man, I season it, so I work out at the time, and I've got a good routine going. And then I'm just chilling at this point. And every week I have meetings with the commander, like one of their heads, so all the minutes was a stuff. And I start pointing together like business documents on my laptop, like slide shows on like how to improve economy and stuff

and the gold mine. They're really interested. So I'm like pitching stuff to them. So I think it's like a networking event almost. It sounds like it. Just so I'm clear. So you're in trouble. You're basically serving out like a house arrest

for not having a gold mine. But in limbo. In limbo. You're not supposed to be. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, at least you're not having a permit to go through a mountain. So they're like, that's the question.

Yeah, but like, ah, jokes we got to do by the rule book. You did do something wrong. But it's like, it's like, nothing serious. You know, it's like J. Walking. They just, they're like, eh, whatever. That's a hell of a J-walking ticket. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So you're putting together your PowerPoint to essentially get access to the gold mine. Basically. Yes, right? Yeah. I'm just like, I actually put it on one of those charts that just shows like money and time

and just like a straight line up. And I'm like, okay. Okay. Of course. Yeah. How is it wrong, bro? If I saw a gold mine, how is that chart not wrong?

I'm like, big if true. And I get a show to them, they're like, yeah, to be honest. Well, how much gold is in the hills in Afghanistan? Aladdin. Yeah, so I'm looking looking for one place in Kunoa province so the Americans took over geological surveys. So we know exactly how much there is. minimum $200 million.

Oh! Nice little Trump change. China's not coming in to take it, Russia. It's gonna be years of it. It's even funnier thing, man. So China has like over-Norven provinces. They pay $350 million for the mining rights for next like 100 years or whatever.

So they've got like huge mines going on. I've picked this area down south that China's not interested. So I spoke to some Chinese people during my attention. They're like, yeah, we're not really interested going down north, we're focusing on the belt of road stuff right now. But that's the way to be afghans. And they're like, yeah, we don't want to get, we want to divers interested in going down north with focusing on the belt or road stuff right now. But that's been to the afghans,

and they're like, yeah, we don't want to diversify because we don't want China obviously having too much power to see what's happening in Africa. But when I come home to England, I go to some big bankers, I used to be my circle, so I go to some big bankers, some institutional investors,

and they go, holy shit, Miles, we can win the mineral war against China. China's gonna take over the whole of Afghanistan, but we're gonna stop them, Miles, we can win the mineral war against China. China's going to take over the whole of Afghanistan, but we're going to stop them, Miles, we need to win economically in Afghanistan. So what's the struggle? Maybe punch a gold mine. So I'm like, I can't tell you how much I'm going to go wrong. I'm like, I'm going to go wrong. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. So, yeah, so I've been to like so many meetings and sometimes I get offered like $750,000 for the gold

but I just start it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've said, and you know what, you know what that? Or is that what you're looking for more? To be fair, we're going to, we're going to big world institutions right now.

So I can't say who, but we're looking at high seven, high eight figures, maybe even more. I mean, I won't believe anything until we come to promotion, but we're putting together, basically. I've got a call with 6am with New York right now. Oh. So we're putting this together like it's professional. They're sending me their CVs and like documents

They've written up professional documents. So there's a ton of overworked interns Be cold to do my fucking project because every company wants it, which is funny now The Taliban are they gonna be cool with a New York bank being involved? I mean, you know Sure judging the temperature of the Yeah, oh now they're sure that they're like oh two faces bankers as long as nothing and you know, sure, judging the temperature of the, you know. Now they're sure that they're like, oh, two faces bankers, there's also not a government, you know, they would want to cut up a money. Yeah.

But it wants down, you know, because they realize, you know, where's the money that come from, they know I'm British and British is I like with American, Europe, so it's like, you have a cool vest, as long as they just create some, you know, as long as they're, as long as it's like, give a cool of it. As long as it just creates some, as long as everyone's friendly, is everyone agrees on stuff, it was chill, but as long as it's real life, we're all happy.

Don't you worry that England is gonna be kind of up in your shit that you're possibly a terrorist? I mean, that's still the narrative, right? The Taliban are terrorists, so I mean, you're kind of buddy buddies with the Taliban. I don't know like good question. They're not even classified as terrorists legally. Yeah, I've never been embarrassed. They've always been classified as freedom fighters so I can sell Taliban much, no

problems but when I saw some like what's called when I saw some ISIS deniers for sale like you know the old coins I couldn't buy them obviously because they are terrorists. Wow. Wow. Gotcha. Uh, Mojahadin, they're freedom fighters. Sure. Yes, he ran both three, Sean. Yeah.

Okay. So is there was there any was there at any point during your stay where you were? I'm saying is you were labeling something doesn't work. You know, I like it. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it does. The box comes back as a clown. He didn't kill nobody.

New mascot. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, was there any any point where you were afraid that you were going to get killed? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, was gonna be awkward they burst out laughing so everything all day we would have one guy drive by the house and he would share like me kune me kune and I was like what's kune what's kune and then I went to the tire van and went cheekwinter and she means what in kune you know I was like what what kune mean what what do you mean in English they burst out laughing they're you know crying can stuff and I'm thinking okay said something, but I don't know what it is. I don't have a big meeting for ministers. This is like the equivalent of Congress. So when I met the Thai band Congress, it's there equivalent of Congress. What do you mean, that's there? Really? What is it called? I met like the minister of tourism.

I met the minister of something else. Oh, he's fucking minus. There's a chill. There's just chilling out. So I meet one of them and I go, she could not. And it's time for a few seconds. And I explain how I heard it. And it's both how laughing. And I miss my parent and could not mean man pussy.

But I imagine going to Congress, standing in front of her, ruffling your papers with a business presentation, going, what's man pussy? What did you think it meant? Good morning. I don't know. I don't know.

That's what I was fucking asking. I was like, I hear this every single day. In the morning, I was like, okay. I was like, I was just wanna show that I'm trying to learn the language a little bit. And I'm asked what I'm, when I'm curious. And they just thought it was funny at the end.

And then I learned that cuss means pussy. So I'm like, shit man, I'm also often curious. And dates for is funny, but then I learn about cuss means pussy. So I'm like, shit man, I'm learning all the dirty language in Afghanistan. But it's true, that's the best way to learn the language. You always learn to slang in the bad words first. In any language. That's the one you go for. That's the one you go for. That's the one you go for.

Okay, so when did you find out that you were going home? Like after eight months months at what point they You got to be like resigned to living there, right at what point did they say all right? You're actually gonna let you go Yeah, sorry, I was meant to be there for only six months But the bruise government of the Afghan government was so Slow with paperwork because you know did there's no embassy of being called to Afghan, it's a fucking change. It took an extra time to do paperwork.

So I was thinking, I was thinking, I'm gonna be here a lot longer, fuck me, you know. I'm putting together an escape plan mentally. How would you, how would you escape plan, girl? How would you, just walk out of a window, mate? There was an open window right there. Minnags, press, okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you did want to leave. No, it's like, it's like, if I want to spend a year there, I was like, ah, geez, I need to, I need to do my taxes

and I was like, yeah, but yeah, you know, I eventually get Christmas presents for everybody. Yeah. It's like, you know, I've got a level of love, you know what I mean? Yeah. Where are your friends? Are they got they got sent straight to England. So, one of them's coming back with me, one of them's chill. The other guy who ratted me out who was just a dick. He's just he's just keeping to himself now. He's just carrying on with education. Yeah. I basically they walked into my room and they were like, so Miles, you go be deported tomorrow. And I was like, I was like, big if true, but good one. I thought it was just kidding with me. And did you go with you like that when you were there? Like fuck with you? Like, are you

going home tomorrow? I'm not really. It wasn't fucking with me. So what I would do, I, every time we hold like a helicopter or some noise, I would go, oh, that's a British special force if they're coming in two minutes. First time I did that. First time I did that, literally 10 sex later, the electricity goes out. So, if you actually get a little bit, then we lost our job grabbing them. I'm like, oh, shit, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. And then I feel like, you know, like, you better don't't joke about this. So then they would sometimes go to me, and then we'd go,

we'd go to port in 10 seconds. You go run to the airport, and I was like, God, it's good. We're just fucking around a bit, Trevor. We've got good sense of humor, I'm cool with it, they're cool with it. But at one point, they'd say,

yeah, you go to the port, I was like, really? And I was like, yeah, gather your stuff. And I'm thinking, maybe I'm moving somewhere else, so I speak to the other people in detention. And I'm just like, I'll see you guys later. And I'll see you next time I get arrested. And I was shaking my hands.

I'll tell you about the other people out of the way. They have hilarious. And then the commanders meet me. And he's got handing me my goods. And like, here's your drone, here's your phone. I turn on my phone's first time. Like, I've got a fuck turn of notifications.

I told the Taliban, you can see. Turns out I saw the Tyban. You can see you used to see John on an iPhone. Turns out the Tyban were playing chess on my phone, which I think is kind of cool. And they had a good rating, I think. I can't remember why it was, but it's pretty good. It was smart. Don't embarrass me.

Don't bother me in a chess thing, and then do stupid stuff. Right, yeah. I'm a little bit... I think you like chess or anything like that? What's that? Are you guys intellectuals? Do you guys play chess? No, no, no, I don't, I don't, I don't play chess.

I don't either. I play F0. Oh, that's fucking awful. It's the chess, of course. Yes, the chess. Yeah, no, I get that, too, like the Queen's Gambit was gay, he's hell, so I relate. You're really ruined. Win chess for me, if a woman could do it, I don't want any part of that. Yeah, and you have a woman in real life.

I looked at the real life woman that moved her base off. She's like some fat retard, basically. So it is not as sexy as we thought it was, which is even funnier. Yeah. But yeah, basically they hand me over stuff. They saw it give me gifts and stuff. And I'm like, hell yeah. And then I might as well come back any time.

You have brother, you have friends. Sorry about this whole thing happening. We would have released you sooner if we were allowed. We tried appealing it to you. I was like, hell yeah. And they started trash talking the other prisoners to me. Like the other, it was like,

when we were in the airport, when we were in the airport, the other guys obviously they looked shell shocked because they were in the maximum security prison. Yeah. And they didn't know I was there and I knew those blocs. So they were like, oh shit, you're there. And I was like, hey, dude, how was your holiday?

And then it's like, fuck off. It's like, so the time, and people, we used one side. And they go, these guys were spies, well, you're right, but these guys are welcome back. And I'm laughing my ass off like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So they actually were British British spies I That's what we convicted of I assume

I'm not a wild man I don't know how lucky are you like it? It seems like you just fucking lucked out not getting thrown in the Maximum security prison, but but I don't know like maybe in the maximum security prison, but I don't know. Like maybe you just do it. I did my way through it. Like when they came in, they'd irrigate me. I literally would stand up and I would say, welcome to my office, come take a seat.

Thanks for coming on time. Sorry for allowing you to do a little bit of ladies for offices, crazy. It's like my dad, my talking, then. He's, you know, an out of easy them. Like yeah, yeah, like yeah. This guy's kind of hilarious. Muhammad Ali, right?

Yeah, yeah, you know, do you know what Bane Maxing is? You know when people like you know Bane off that man And you pretend to be him by telling some of his lines. Yeah, okay. I can't get it now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I would do the same thing with lawn sort of Arabia Did they know movie quotes? I mean, no, you can be whatever character you want. I had a movie on my laptops. I was watching it and I was once seen where one of the geese as one of the guys goes to like the Lord of Arabia or something. You know, that's in Arabia. 500 years ago, we had a load of public lighting when London was just a village. And he said, yes, this was a very great time for us. And he goes, I'm to be great again, my Lord.

So I went to the Taliban and said, did you know that Afghanistan once had an empire that spanned into Iran? And Pakistan once ruled a great kingdom that was feared by the whole of Asia. And you're like, yes, it's a good time for us. I'm like, time to be great again. They smiled from ear to ear. So I was like, I'm just laughing. I laughed. And I was just, you know, I just basically thought, how should I do that?

Have you saw the movie rights to this yet? To your whole life? No, no, no, no, no, because like this. Oh, I don't know what the user would go with me. You know what I mean? I've got a book that's called to. Oh, yeah, let me ask. That's fucking great. It's like Argo, but I'm watching movies. Yeah, it's a Arabia and redoing them. Oh my god. Well, you got someone that could be a full deal perhaps. Yeah, I know somebody. I'll ask him. Is it a guy you made a passion for Christ?

Can you say Tim? No, I wish. What was it like coming back to the Western civilization, which is horrible? Yeah, so when I arrived in Dubai, you had a British foreign office right there. And they'd like, they'd grandly buy my shoulders and they were like, it's okay, you're safe. Are you speaking of this? Just, yeah, okay.

It was like, they were like, perhaps you were speaking under duress, you know, what you were, when we called you of the supervised calls, I had supervised calls like every week, I was chilled like that. And I told them the good conditions. I pay me just before I was like,

being forced to save that. And I was like, now it's really good. I still got some spare money on me from my trip to the market the other day. Yeah, sorry about this. On some wet swimsuits from the time I went I went to the water park. What a bar.

Anyway guys. Yeah. So here's the thing too, they greeted me with a bunch of burgers. So I called them and the first call they would like, Mars, you need anything done for you. Like you're saying critical stuff you need done at home. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have a pen of paper ready? I need this down, he's being exactly what I say. And I give him like a food order. I'm like, when I get out, I want exactly this burger from this restaurant. And I want to have this many pickles and I want this much cheese and I'm just like okay and he do hit for me and he the author say oh yeah your flight's home to

England are free I'm like oh yeah so I'm just I'm just goofing off on the tax pay of money you know I mean and he day by me like you know a hotel stay they give me free clothes and I'm just like oh yeah and he's like where are you going off to this, Moles? Are you going to Spain or something? You're going to Italy for a holiday? I was like, yeah, I'm like, I hope I'm Gaza. That seems quite cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I figured you would be going there. Are you going to Gaza? Are you going to try to get in there? I don't know. They want to pay for that. No, I got invited by both sides. So I've got some IDF guys that I just hold on for, you know, just for like information stuff, I got invited by both sides. So I've got some IDF guys. I just hold on for like, you know,

just for like information stuff. I'm not friends of anyone, but basically they were like, Miles come down, makes a propaganda. I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm envy. Yeah, I've got some have mass contacts. They're like, Miles, we would love you to come down.

And I can't say the type I'm in there, but wink, wink, you know. So if you want to come film, and I'm like, I have overhang out of there, and I get sanctioned, I add years, I'm stuck between two hard places. But the British foreign office, it's a pissed off Lamar,

you just came out of the aim of arrest in fucking Afghanistan. All the other guys here are like in shell shock. You are not going on another harder, you're coming home to be the brief. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm going back to Afghanistan a few weeks. So like, no, And I was like, I was like, yeah, well, I'm going back to Afghanistan a few weeks. So like, no, you're fucking not.

I was like, yeah, I got invited formally. I've got like a, I've got this piece of paper. But he says I can do whatever I have. Yeah, I've got paper. Yeah. I've got to get the go. They're opening a new one apart. Exactly.

And exactly they sign. They go, is everything you told us correct? I was like, yeah, I was like an understatement to be fair. I just go through all the stuff I've told you guys. And they're like, I was like, yeah, I was like an understatement to be fair. I just go through all the stuff I've told you guys. And they're like, they're like, we did you technically the best pre-de prisoner. And it seems like you're essential just just be careful. I was fucking out. I was like, yeah, it's all good.

But I'm slightly lovely. Hard. And yeah, everyone thinks like the British people would be a British like secret service or whatever would be more suspicious of you coming back I thought so too I thought when I got back I was gonna be depraved and they were gonna speak to me about 10 hours and all this other stuff yeah but they just they just leave me to my own thing so when I flew a med and Jutay to Romania I won the airport like five hours early expecting to be fucking tackled or something. Yeah.

Didn't happen. I'm just chilling. I mean, have you guys ever had an airport or issues for your stuff? I mean, I didn't get led into Australia, but that was just a visa. I mean, that was visa, um, un-luckiness, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I've never had any issues with going anywhere. I have more banking issues than anything else.

Yeah, right. What? Yeah, ridiculous. I've got like, I've got 12 credit cards, and I've got a great credit score, so I can max out about $250,000 worth of credit, and it flies all around. Just like my great German grandfather

and just disappear in the woods. It's like, it's my, that's my plan Z. No, it's just my head Z. Yeah, credit cards have this system where within 10 minutes of metting on credit card in loads will be over bank accounts. Right. You know, it restricts that. It's called a, it's like a cash out scheme or something.

So if you just open like 20 tabs or you can have to click, send, send, send, send, send. I mean, quickly, you know, board a board a plane or whatever if you're already there. Yeah, they know. Yeah, exactly. You can just disappear, man, to be fair. I mean, I have to hit that plane Z anytime soon. I mean, if it all sends what happens if India government tries to screw me over.

You want me on my existing things on them? You know how it is, man? Yeah. I mean, you can't. Um, uh, Hey, so what's your, uh, what's your, uh, your bucket list of the most dangerous areas to go that you haven't been north? Yeah, I want to,

yeah, you lost Los Angeles. Yeah, destroyed. Um, no, yeah, no, I basically want to go to the Darian gap. So that's quite soon about two months, maybe maybe three months after Christmas.

Is that the one? What's the Dairy and Gap? It's the other cannibals there? Oh, to be fair, it might be. I mean, I've heard stories, but you know, between Panama and Colombia, there's like this Mac 80 miles wide. It's along, it's basically,

it's really mountainous, it's a huge jungle. It's got, it's basically got like, there's people called the Fox and they're basically drugs muglers. So, anyone who goes through their territory gets fucked up, like women just get disappeared and men just get, like, everything gets robbed off of you. So, I'm gonna buy a handgun of Pablo Escobar's brother, so I know that guy, as you do. And then, I'm just gonna cross it. And I'm going to have to go back to the other way. That's the reason you can't drive from Argentina to Alaska.

That's where the refugees that go to the US, Mexican border come from, if they like from India or something, because they can't get visas for most of North America. So we go through that way. there's this no road. Okay, you're not gonna bring like a little mini army with you when you go. You're just gonna, you and a handgun from Pablo Escobar's cousin or brother. I can't do my way out of a situation.

What's the point man? You know what I mean? It's like, just bring the guy who says the N word all the time. Yeah. Myself. No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Myself. No. No.

Yeah, wait, you guys get a hold of my friend. He says the n-word all the time. 93 times on record. You're right here, actually. My friend who spent two weeks there. Two weeks, and he was just sitting in a room just chilling. He told everyone, oh, I survived. You know, I conco-deaf.

I'm like, you fucking Howard, what did you do? You did shit all, you pussy pretty much. What makes you wanna do all this? What's your deal? What's wrong with you? I just a deal with Todd and I think we go over late there. You know what I mean? I mean, you're British.

Like this is a type of British, like genetic retardation that you guys have. We haven't seen it a long time, but you have it clearly. We got a climate risk. Right, right. We have to go to South Africa and colonize this whole fucking continent. What do you want me to do? I do want to bring back Prutisha.

Like, what is not, obviously, it would be way better off. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, we were often, the English too, that's a a long story. What did yeah, go ahead, sorry. That's right. If English had a great mindset of just car-izing PPP PPP people and just goofing off on them, you know what I mean? That's based. Why would you not do that if you were called civilization? And the adventurous British people, the superior British British people created this thing called America. So all the adventurous types left.

And the creative American, only a very small percentage remained that with chill. And all the others just became cooked and that's England today. So I'm kind of like, I'm kind of like Pan's American almost. You see what I mean? Like I'm spiritually in a bad way. Yeah, you're a special type. You start making your type a long time ago. What did the Taliban say about like, what was a big problem for them?

What did you hear most about from the Taliban? Like, do they talk about women at all? They kept saying like, one of them said, oh, the government keep asking the women's rights. They were like, that's stupid, because we do everything according to the crown. And to be fair, we treat women well in private. It's like, no, I just don't want men looking at my women. I just don't want people sleeping around like,

haurs. What's wrong with that? Why are they trying to change my religion? Saudi Arabia does it, but they get away of it because they're rich. And they got genuinely emotional when they said that. So I was like, yeah, I get that to be fair. I can see better perspective. Yeah, they do.

They also, yeah, they also, they did like the whole idea that American spy satellites went to skydow like they're constantly watching us, man, they were like, it really pissed me off out. They can just wipe us out at any points. They're like, we need, we need, one of them jokes that they need these

really iron-doned hype stuff. I was like, to blow up our satellites like Star Wars. Yeah, I pulled war three happens. I need to give into Taliban to go against China, having an American who just send them trillions. You know what I mean? That's gonna happen one day.

Yeah. It's gonna happen. Yeah, that's a, I'm gonna win it again. Yeah. That's gonna happen. Yeah, that's a. That's one way to go. China shares a border with Afghanistan. Oh yeah. Like a very small border, but I basically just said, hey guys, I mean, you got a whole weaker thing going on in that area.

If it were ever breaks out, you can just, it made that area, you know, save those Muslims and just like, look, get some extra land, goof off a little bit, maybe destroy Pakistan. Because that's why they're like India, because they just all hate Pakistan. So I was like, yeah, I was like, once, struggle, you know, I was like, I can, I just got a map on my phone and we were just doing it like it sums all the autistic, you know, mobile. Are you going to be a warlord at some point, like 20 years from now, you're either going to be dead or be a warlord, right? Yeah, you know, a two-feet, same-shot game. Yeah, go on that way.

It's all two from Zoya Pals, like, yeah, why not? If I get the gold mine, and then something happens to Afghanistan, you know, we're saying to some factions fighting, I'm gonna defend the gold mine. That's the one. I must get gold to fund future trips I know sent to one. The gold mine is not tied to by faries and shit it's so I can fund more

adventures and have for human. Yeah, Sentinel Island is Joe Rogan was talking about you going there wasn't he? Oh really? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he had like he has a talk in the US and he was talking about the guy who went to North Central Island and I was like, North Central Ireland. And I was stupid. And I was like, hey, Joe, I'm stupid. I'm going to do the same thing. Bunga succeed. There's a very clear way to succeed.

And not many people are looking at it intelligently. Do you want to hear my pitch, guys? OK. Yes, definitely. Now, no wait, North Central Island, it's like, there's no civilization there. There are like the back thousands of years or even more. Well, these are the North Sea and the island.

Oh, yeah, the people who they'd have never seen outs like they shot people with arrows, right? They tried to leave them a goat or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the uncontacted humans we lost. Yeah, some of the few, along the way. Very few uncontacted peoples, right? Yeah. Exactly. So what I did, what I did when I

learned about this whole North Central Island thing went into this whole sphere of life. I went to some big universities and looked through some historical texts to be accessible to the public. And I saw the whole project's petition to North Central Island when England owned India and stuff. And I saw some stuff that the Indian Northcentral Island when England owned India and stuff and I saw some stuff that the Indian government did and there was also one gentleman in the 70s who went down to Kayak through a few coconuts in the water. They got washed up. That's like they're like they're cracked, you know, they love coconuts. They're not native to the island but they do wash up. So it's very sweet, they like that stuff and the guy would get quite close from closer age trip and eventually he was actually on the island shaking hands, but then he actually

he died during a tsunami or something. Well, I think it was a heart attack, so he never actually got to fulfill the whole thing. So thankfully God killed that man so I can live on. And then he'd be able to go out with with sweet shit, twinkies and stuff like that. Yeah, I'm going to give him COVID vaccine because their social distancing, Monday need it. It's like you and you and we're fun baths if I pitch it. But Dean, right? Yeah. They got to get, they're not vaccinated against Calvary.

Especially. They got to be close to the list. They got to be close to the list. Yeah, like every week we come up with like a set of rooster, and it's all going to be really healthy with it, you know, they'll really appreciate it. But the int, yeah, that's funny. Yeah. So what Vindy and Gummund went there too, in the 90s and they made successful contact

on their first time when they went on the island, so I shaking hands. What we did, they brought a woman this time. And a pound is like, oh shit, we're just coming as friends. Because an old guy group is like an army, you know what I mean? Yeah. So if you, yeah, they got also a local from a neighbouring island. There's also a south-souths end to Ireland and some of Ireland's. So we've got a local just a shout, basic words. And we're not too sure if he understood this, but we recognize, oh, this guy looks like us, so it's chill. He's easy with those guys, he seems happy. So you've got to do with

all funny four night dance with coconuts. Now, you got to do like, like, like, make up, you got to do blackface. So you can paint yourself up is, what are we for first time? I'm bringing a bunch of horrors with you. So they know you, so you know, they know you mean business. Yeah. This is the plan. This is flawless, by with you. So they know you, so you know, they know you mean business. Yeah. This is the plan. This is flawless, by the way. So there's two, two ways I can do it. One, I take a ton of steroids.

I get tanned and jacked. You know what I mean? I've been routine right now. So I'm looking better. But I get jacked as hell. You know, like one of them, one of those all right, Aryan meme formats, you know, just some, I don't mind me throwing

them purely basically, I'll get to that stage. I pick some, I pick some blonde hair blue eyeed woman to come with me. We play some skits or music, we do a little cook enough funny dance, we make peaceful contacts, and we go into the centre of the island and we do some exchange. I exchange one of a compound bow I buy a Amazon for one of their bows, I sell that the millions because why not? I also film the entire thing professionally and I also screw up some sand and you know, store it and then sell about like Bella Del Thien's bathwater like one ground sand for like $10. Who wouldn't buy that? So, because people have been trying to like patronize them, but you should go the other way.

Come in with like a bunch of blonde blue blue-eyed whores playing like death metal, like a future techno-trans, like trap music, that not even we understand, blow them out, like space aliens, like back to the future, right? Imagine you're a woman looking like Slenderband, and then suddenly like you'd be a blonde white woman for the first time. You're going to get excited. You're going to be chill. You're going to be chill. You're going to try and play a chill. I honestly think they're going to do that.

But if I have any problems, this is what I do. I've got a guy who's waiting on me to give the order. He will do this a few by the way. I've got a guy in Eastern Europe who's going to build me a custom suit of medieval armor. I got a... Okay. I got a material scientist, friend, medieval armor. I got it. Okay. So I got I got material scientists, friends,

a mind to swim. Bro, you got to take him a sex doll. You got to get a sex doll from like a legit, like real doll, like rubber sex doll and give and float that out on a canoe to them and say this is my offering, right? See what happens. What happens?

Big body pillow, man, that would be sick. Yeah, an anime body pillow, that's pretty good. But you've got to give them something like a penetrate. Right. Yeah, exactly. I hope you know my skin, though. But, um, Garzy, the suit of medieval armor,

I got a material scientist, we did a whole day of like testing different types of metal, and thicknesses and stuff. And we've got the perfect density and the material that would work. There'd be a guy would be up for. So there's no way they could pantry beyond. Oh, I see. Like a grizzly bear suit. So you can just walk around being invincible.

We can like a drown you. How many of them are there? How many of those guys are there? I'm going to. We even think they could they could drown you. I don't know if they're there. How many of those guys are there? I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to duct tape a bunch of mace to my arm. So if he gets too close, mace him, you're like, pocket sounds, you know, what we go to is like this. This is the way this is the plan.

Right. The the plate mail. Yeah, the armor was nice shooting out. He's going to mace him into friendship. Do you have a flame thrower like lethal weapon three? Yeah, like I'm like, I'm right. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing too. Why should we befriend them? Like, they kill outsiders and they're just conquered. Like, that's the British way. Yeah, conqueror. conqueror the fuck out of them. okay, here's some soy slop, here's a credit score,

here's that is super bouncing. Perfect. Here's an educational system. Yeah, they'll be happy about it. And the thing is too, a lot, the winter bridge, when they're left like tons of gold in the center, they give some tippy to goffy up. Yeah.

So I would just go there, find those pretty old facts. Just give them some other stuff. I don't know, some anime body pillows, maybe like a pocket or something. I don't know. I would just give them something chill. And then I would just leave. Because this is beefing on people that are just trying to

kill outside, does you know what I mean? You've got a little of laugh a little bit. And that's my honest, it's a good thing. And everyone says, Maul, what if you sneeze on them? I'm like, yeah, I'll do a teen get tripped. I just, I did max it up with credit cards and run away and disappear. There's a way to do it medically

where you do not affect them. And the Indian government was like shaking hands with them and stuff like, I'm gonna be a lot more careful. Trust me, it's very hard as she spreads her fingers's all bullshit they're fine they've been there for this lot fucking bullshit yeah triple man bring him hand sanitizer yeah no look up I know what do you think we've a funny thing to drink with those? Pocket Percy's is pretty funny. I don't know.

Fucking lighter. The lighter. The lighter. I'm sure I'm shit. I'm not sure. The fire. Yeah. No, they've never seen fire before.

We know that right. No, never seen fire. They don't know how to make fire. They were have had to have made fire. Yeah. I don't think so. Like apparently natives. There's some.

I haven't seen the evidence. Lightning strikes. Yeah. Lightning strikes on fire. And then they try and keep it going or something, but that's only in some parts of the world that's never been observed in the North Central East area. Is it such a small island really? So it's kind of weird. I think I just might give them like a bunch of I might give them a big Mac and like some chili trees. I'm going to say a sashwine sauce, bring up something like that or a toilet. Like we can multi reference.

Yeah, I don't know if that does. Big Mac will travel all that well. They're pretty good. That might wipe it out. I don't want to know. I want to have more preservatives. That's the weirdest thing you could have for a society. What would blotter minds?

We'll find a new one. I should give them like a new kind of mess up on say like, you know, if you want to blow yourself up, just press this button. And I'm sure, you know, yeah, I'll just play like God with them a little bit. Now I'm kidding. I do that. I'll do I'll do I think quite peacefully. I'll goof off where I can. But there's some way the women's ghost busters from 2016, like bring a whole A to

set up. Oh, find a way to kill me after watching that. Give me a copy of the women's ghost busters from 2016. Like bring a whole A&G setup. I'll find a way to kill me after watching that. It just plays over and over. Like a Dennis office. Women's ghost busters over and over. You know what I could do as well. I can just show them like just fucking memes off some stuff and I'll be like,

is this relatable? Oh, I just show them North Central memes. I can be like, I'll be like, it's relatable. Oh, I just have an authentic memes. I can be like, I'll be like, hey, do you relate to this? Oh, I'll learn my language and translate it. I mean, I'll teach him how to read or write because he haven't figured it out yet. That's really funny. You could do so much of these people.

Like, it might just be like a styling who will like some satellite internet. You can do so much with these people. They're alive. You know what? You know what? He's going to go there. It'll be a huge success. And then like they will speak, they'll speak like a couple of English words.

And one will be the N word. Yeah, teach him the N word. That's all you've got to do. Teach him every slur. Teach him a whole language that's just slur-based. Is actually, yeah. I love that, man. That would be perfect. I should just give him-based. Is actually, yeah. I love that, man.

That would be perfect. I should just give him a stairway to see what happens. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll show you. Yeah. Miles, thanks for calling in, man. It's really been, you've really made so many people

happy with your exploits. No, you may be happy to lay me on, so thank you. Yeah, good luck. Good luck with your gold mind. And I do hope you are a warlord at some point. Thank you, man. For the ones listening, follow me on Lord Miles' search on Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. A lot of big following. I'm going to do some goofy stuff.

I'm going to get started. And also YouTube as well. You lovely men. Follow me as well. DM me at some point after this. We'll do something together. That would be amazing. But I've been a big supporter of the Taliban

for as long as I've known about them. So I'm going to a new face to the Taliban. Ah, yeah, yes, yes. The ice cream and the swan boats, that was great. They've been getting nothing but shit for 20 years. It's nice to, from Rainbow 3 to you, that was like a big dark period for them, but now it's nice to see them back.

If you go there yourself, I think you'll become a minister of foreign affairs. I see that happening. We'll manifest it. It could be, that could be good. It would only be good for them. I got to get your visa in my hand. I have run circles around the U.S. whatever the U.S. is doing. No, probably. So yeah. I'm sure, man. Thank you. I love you for calling in.

Thank you. A few two. See you. Goodbye. Thank you. I'd like to be for calling in. Okay. A few two. Say goodbye. Big is. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- You got to have a lot of mental energy to be to want to do this. Yeah, like everything's like everything's an adventure. Everything like it's like what can I do today? What crazy shit can I do? I was in eight months.

I was in this room. Yeah, man, that, I'd be freaking out. You know who I'd be pissed at. I wouldn't leave. I'd be pissed in England for dragging their feet on the old paperware. No, shit. It's a six month sentence, but you know, they're like, yeah, do we really want this guy back?

I mean, he's kind of really wanna go home. It's kind of a pain in the ass. I got no sewage at home either. You guys don't have sewage. Mm-hmm. I miss my dog. If you guys can get my dog and bring it out here. Right.

What about you, Gretana? Just the dog. It's easier to bring stuff that I want to me than it is for me to go home and back home. And kind of, you know, set my life up the way that I would prefer it to be. Yeah. Yeah. steroids.

The no drinking thing I think would be a for eight months. Yeah, that's I would be like not something that you would want to do. Yeah, I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, one of those. One of the darknesses of the book, right? Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. It's kind of laid already.

I don't know. We talked about it. Oh, we talked about it. It's for an hour. No, he's obviously very interesting. He's great. That's crazy. So you watch British Adventurers, that British Autistic Adventurism that he has and

that basically built Western civilization, right? More or less. If we just let it go a little bit more, we'd have a lot less problems. But we had to invent the newspaper and stop it before it got really out of control. Yeah. You know, he has a lot of good solutions

that cannot be published. So you were following him, you followed him for some time since the very first adventure. And literally he went to, you remember like when he went dark. And he's like, he's dead because he's dead. That would be the logical conclusion. Yeah. You don't have a guy who's super active like that going all over the place. And the last thing you knew, he was in Afghanistan and then he goes silent. The only thing you can conclude is that he must, he's, you know, or he'll

never see the light of day again. If he's like, yeah, I thought he was in like a midnight express turkish. He's going to be, yeah, that's like the other guys he was talking about. He's going to be the rest of his life. Yeah. Yeah. Not having a, not high fiving, you know, Taliban and damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. It was funny how he was talking about the English and stuff and like you're learning the words and everything. Yeah. I was working on, I had this project and there were some people from Saudi Arabia involved

and one guy was like, he was a younger guy, he was like probably late 20s and he had super, super heavy accent, right? But he like, he, you know, he spoke English, okay, and he understood what I was talking about, and he liked Western culture. Yeah. He liked, he liked, he liked, he was a huge wrestling fan. Okay. He loved fucking wrestling, and I was like,

oh, okay, that wasn't really my thing, but like, okay, that's cool. He goes, he goes, I can do a perfect American accent. In one, no, in one thing. Yeah. And I go, really? Okay, let's hear it. And he goes, he goes, only at KFC. Like, he go like, fuck, in one thing. Yeah. And I go, really? Okay, let's hear it.

He goes, he goes, only at KFC. Like, he go like, fuck, he learned it like watching KFC commercials, watching wrestling, wrestling. Yeah, he's like, only at KFC. It was perfect. So, just like the fucking TV, I was like, that's amazing. Just learned, sounded it out phonetically, you know? I don't even know what to look at here.

I got so many fucking comments. I don't wanna save them till next week, but we might have to. Yeah. I got voicemails. Oh, thank you. Honey, what'd you think about that? Should I go to Afghanistan for eight months?

No, that's a big thing. Oh yeah, that could be a month. It's turned into a maybe. Samuelses, I can totally relate to that guy's email about people doing nothing at their job and wasting time on meetings. My job, I got put onto a productivity team. Oh boy.

And during one of the first meetings, I was in, the team leader, a woman. Nothing kills productivity like a productivity meeting. Productivity meeting. One of the first meetings I was in the team leader, a woman, wasted the first 15 minutes creating an avatar in MS teams. Yeah.

Yeah, how much time is wasted doing avatars? I would imagine a lot. Probably a lot. You think Microsoft ever said, hey, maybe we don't put the avatar thing in there because that's gonna waste like a shitload of time. Like how Google they have like the default was like an hour meeting.

Yeah. Like well, you just wasted like 45 like the default was like an hour meeting. Yeah. Like, well, you just wasted like 45, you just wasted like trillions of hours. Yeah, for sure. For sure. A few months later, she moved on to do other stuff. The guy who replaced her now runs the meetings in half the time she did. That's still too long. Martin, I can't believe Vito.

Dick has been so relaxed about Vito's behavior, even tolerating his low efforts on the show for him of all people to ask Dick to modify his behavior as outrageous, I agree, Martin. That damn. I'm fighting everybody on all fronts. Yeah. Left, right, internally. Yeah.

Constant fighting. Yeah. Yup. Euthanasia in Canada. Chris says 4% of all deaths in canada and twenty twenty two are from medically assisted suicide really wow uh... it is progressive to commit self-harm

i need to dig deeper into this and ask some progressives how this makes them feel why they don't care what i want i'm i'm totally pro that too absolutely hundred percent good hundred percent i've no i've absolutely no problem with that They don't care. What? They want. I'm totally pro that too. Absolutely. 100%. Good. 100%. I have no, I have absolutely no problem with that. If you're, if you're so concerned, go outside one of them and just ask people, well, how do you vote? If they say Republican, say, hey, come here.

Let's talk about it. You're all right. If they say liberals, say, move it. Give them a pat on the butt. I don't, I don't give a shit how you vote. I'm like, I mean, I mean, I'm for assisted suicide. Like that's, your life is fucking worth what it's worth to you. Nothing.

Worth it, if you're not having a good time, you know? Go, go nuts. It's like, how you got damn brains out. Man, it's, yeah, I had, by the shirt, put, run your credit card up on my website and then end it. Yeah. Easy peasy.

Sad part is I feel like I could aggressively and almost unironically promote these sorts of programs. Fewer people on welfare, less carbon emissions, fewer white people, the list goes on. That's too cute for me. Okay, very, very cute. Yeah. Very cute, hilarious. P.K. Rocken says, I feel like I don't usually suffer from second-hand embarrassment, but these segments of Maddox not being a retarded banana have me needing to take breaks from listening for a few minutes.

Oh, when he's being himself. Oh, these segments of Maddox nods. Did you talk about the bonus episode? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's rough. Yeah. Yep.

It's rough. I get it. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Let's see here. Ryan says, my birthday survey, hey, take a friend's girlfriend sent this to me for my, because my birthday is next month. One last conversation with a woman I have to have, I guess.

Let's see. She sent him this, this survey. Hills girlfriend? His friends girlfriend. So that's inappropriate for you to be having this sort of conversation. It is, oh, it's a Google survey. Yeah.

Where she says, do you have any ideas for what you want to do for your B day? Yes, no, this is annoying. How big of a celebration do you want to have? Select all that you are open to. Pretty low key. Just one just one night maybe. What if it's none? Well, you don't have to check anything. But the first one is no. What's the first question? Like do you want? Do you have any ideas? Yes, no. No, there's a select all that applies. But the first one is, what's the first question? Like, do you want, what is your... Yeah, any ideas? Yes, no.

So, well, that leaves it open for somebody. Yeah, but that also leaves, I thought that could negate question too, but it cannot. No, it's just like leaves it open for somebody. It has to do with it. It has to do with it every time until you crack. Yeah. How big of a celebration do you want to have? Full day and night, full weekend. Rager, I'm surprised, Rager isn't in quotes.

Who are you wanting to invite? Or does it maybe depend on what we end up doing? Go back, just all your hot friends. This is none of the fat ones. Right. Here are some ideas. Select all that you want to do. Top golf, Disney.

What is Disney? Go to Disney Land. And say put the whole thing. Don't fuck this up. This is a little bit, what is Disney? Go to Disneyland and say put the whole thing. Don't fuck this up. This is a little bit, that's not everybody can do that. You know what I mean? But a Disneyland, what do you mean? Everyone's got credit cards to women.

You want to make for your birthday, you want to book flights and do all that kind of shit? Like I want to talk about top golf. Top golf is 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah, Dave and Buster's River House. I don't know what that's. Somewhere, a weekend trip to somewhere else. Maybe Tampa, nice dinner somewhere. Maybe the fancy place you went in Orlando.

Man, are you sure this is your friends girlfriend? Some kind of sports game? What size shirt are you? I can make custom shirts. What the fuck have you been giving? What ideas have you been giving this woman? I can make some shirts. Oh, in case I make custom shirts. What the fuck have you been giving? What ideas have you been giving this woman? Custom shirts. Oh, in case I make custom shirt.

What the fuck? What the fuck? This is a very weird survey. This is a weird survey, man. Yeah. You got to steer, you got to steer clear. This is like hills have eyes. You know, Chex's, I don't know.

What's the one with the weird family of zombie? I don't know. Cannibals. What size shoes are you? This is just for my reference. It says she knows how you're bigger at cocking. Right, I was gonna just your answer. My dick is huge.

Do you have any other thoughts, questions, or dreams, you wanna share? What the fuck? I were to bake something for you. What would you want? Poison. To bake me some poison. Baked poison.

With cream cheese frosting. Okay. All right. Let's see what else I got here. Thorntizzle says how I fumbled double d's. If this email makes it on the show, please call me Thorntizzle. Okay. The tale begins with an outing to trivia night with some co-workers.

Oh. Oh boy. Oh, Oh boy. Come on. Come on. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Hold on. Really? Yes.

The dick show presents erotic stories from real men. Yes, yes, okay. The tale begins with an outing to trivia night and some co-workers. You may be thinking that hanging out with co-workers sounds terrible, but in this case, I genuinely like my colleagues and we share a common interest besides consuming food and alcohol on the company dime. Okay. The drinking began at 7 p.m. and continued well

into the night. Trivia runs its course, and as is customary with our outings, we end up at the teaky bar next door to have more and stronger drinks. While we were hanging out, one of the members of our group informed me that there are two hot, single women at the bar who are clearly looking for some attention and that I should

indulge them, hot, single women in your area. Cool. Now, I haven't had the best experiences with women in the past, me either. And currently, my life is uncomplicated and enjoyable. Therefore, I tend not to seek the company of women, especially since I have become increasingly unburdened from my the curse of libido as I get older. What? However, I succumb to peer pressure from my colleagues and decided to go talk to, oh wow, to get those guys these ones. We strike up a conversation. And one of them, C-Cups, makes it clear

that it is her friend, double D-Cups, who is in need of male attention, which is well as I am very much a tits man, which is good as I am very much so. Double D's and I hit it off, and she's clearly my type, not just the aforementioned cup size, but a nice face and a hot Russian accent to boot. Naturally, she has an exhaustive list of woes.

She rattles off, and I listen intently while chiming in with a joke here and there to make her laugh. Over an hour of... He didn't tell her he was autistic in this story. Did you notice that? Yeah. Usually you want to get that out of the way. You want to get that out.

Right up front, and it's often sponsored. Um... Shit, it's a dick. Over an hour... Uh, over an hour of shit. Wait, wait. Right. Over an hour of shit. Wait, wait. One hour. Over an hour of this.

And she continued, and then continued drinking goes on. And it's going well, plenty of eye contact. She's touching my arm suggestively. And there's talk of heading over to my place after we get done at the bar here. My coworkers had hoped, had hopped to another bar, but left me where I was seeing my apparent success. Next thing I know, I wake up in my bed with the lights on.

Most of my clothes from the night before still on and a pounding headache, the likes of which I've never had. Oh, I quickly realize I blacked out. Frantically I check my phone and faced quite the aftermath. I missed my alarm and I'm very late to a big meeting. Remembering the woman I was talking to, I checked to see if there was any contact

into on my phone, nothing, no number, no Instagram, Snapchat, nothing. There were two key pieces of evidence of what occurred that I could find. One was that I paid a bar tab at 150 AM. Given the amount, I only paid for what I drank, which is good. of what occurred that I could find. One was that I paid a bar tab at 150 AM. Given the amount, I only paid for what I drank, which is good, at least I wasn't pleased. Additionally, I seem to have all my belongings on me as well.

The second piece was that I had looked up my nearby apartment on Google Maps, but I had not called an Uber. So I either had walked home or the girls dropped me off. To this day, I don't know what happened that fateful night. All I know is that those wonderful, double-deezer lost to the wind untouched by me. Therefore, what makes me a rage and are the biggest problem universe is blacking out.

Yeah, yeah. So, been there. This little. Yeah, no idea what I did. No idea what I did. We get told later that I was at a place. You've been listening to me. That I still have no memory of yeah, you were here last night The fucking you talking about you know what you fucked there

Dick show in the car and her friend just tell yourself that because you can't live with the other one Trust me and I've been trying to do it for a long time Never gets anything to it it gets even worse. Okay. This has been the dick show patient I come slash the dick show Maybe next next next episode. I'll have more comments sure. I have a bunch here. Okay Okay, this has been the Dixho, page of my Com slash the Dixho. Maybe next episode I'll have more comments. Sure. I have a bunch here. Okay. Lord Miles, who's obviously spy,

Doctor, are you off? See you next Tuesday. This is, this is another remix of, there's a man on the internet. Pfff. There's a man on the internet. Ha ha ha ha.

There's a man on the internet. Dress, dress, dress, stocking and veracity. Dress, dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Dress, dress, stocking and harassment Fraud, threats, stocking and harassment Fraud, threats, stocking and harassment

Fraud, threats, stocking and harassment My life is good Stop doing it for my life, we good My life is good Stop doing it for my life, we good There's a me and on the internet Internet There's a me and on the internet

Internet There's a way in on the internet, internet. Brass, dress, dress, dress, stocking and harassment. Brass, dress, dress, stocking and harassment. Brass, dress, dress, stocking and harassment. Brass, dress, dress, dress, stocking and harassment Brought, threats, threat, threat Stalking and harassment It's what you do when you're not funny, funny, funny It's not interesting, not original love

For people to care about who you are You talk about brought, brought, stalking and harassment Brought, threats, stalking and harassment This is good Brought, threats, stalking and harassment Brought, threats, stalking and harassment Wrong, direct, shocking and harassment You're the small sample of the satter Posting on a good site, posting on a good site

That's weird, posting on a good site, posting on a good site That's weird, posting on a good site, posting on a good site Produces offline, posting on a good site, posting on a good site Direct, smears and harassment Purchase this line, posting on a website, posting on a website Jokes, smears and harassment So now bring it in this What might speak in Gagels? Oh, we gotta make fun

My life is really good Stop going out, my life I play like one fake move, that's how I get to go Ah, my life, my life, my life Ah, my life, my life, my life I like that, I do a little It's a go. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm Your, your man Martian, is that what this was? Yeah. Your man Martian, that's good. That was good. You wanna hear this toehead guy complain about me? Oh, no. And I sure, this is the newest, this is the newest, I knew it's M&E.

Yeah. M&E. Yeah, he's coming at me hard. Okay. Cause I asked what your favorite part of I some was. They're all through the middle. It's like a quite a tizzy. No, I guess so.

I guess that's the new, you know, the meltdown question. Oh, yeah. How could you ask me that? Pronouns can't ask. Okay. If you got pronouns, get rid of them. Okay.

That's horse shit. What about your favorite part of Isoh? Get rid of that too. Okay. Actually, not that all, that's the same. That's the same bullshit you guys were doing before. There it is. BB, with the two pounds, there's V2 and Diccan massive balance human awful.

Well, they are. I mean, that's just a statement of fact, but as we're going to get... Oh, there's a sleep with a fuck. Oh, they're all awful people. That's a sleep with a fuck. Look at my egg head, like an egg that's been flipped upside down. My wife, Mrs. Potato Head, she also agrees with their massive bellens.

Okay. She won't even, I actually use, I use so many pronouns and I talk about them that I can't even talk about them. That's a, if they had pro, if pronouns were Chinese phone book, Dick and Fido would be the whole book. All right, here we go.

Get into, as we're gonna get into, we're talking about people. Come on fat boys, spit it out. You fat sack of shit. Who don't care? They don't care about comics. They don't care about pop culture. They don't care about Ripper. They don't care who's bought the book who hasn't seen the book who's read the book.

I have a mortgage. I have like a mortgage. That's all fucking life. And I'm going to give a fuck about your gay comics and your stupid parallel economy for. First of all, that's all true, right? I do not give a the culture war. Or maybe veto cares for,

for veto selling culture bullshit. That's why. Maybe veto cares about comics. Maybe he really does from like an artistic standpoint. He seems like he might. If you cared about art, you want me to make a comic. All right, here we go. Oh, shut up.

Don't worry about it. What's your favorite part, Dan, about isom? You fat prick? This is the Jesse LePetersen question, right? Yeah. Do you care about the illegal, if fucking is, it's the fucking black people immigration question about fucking comic books.

So it's a meld down, I guess. Do you care about, they don't care about comic books, not me or they, they don't care about comic books, not me, though. May a mom misses. We'll read a comic book ever not. That's not. May a mom misses. I'll get her off.

And then if she's still in the mood, she'll give mom a tally wacker a twist. We read a good comic. The green lens of comic where he's the green arrow comic, the Green Lent of Comic where he's, or the Green Arrow comic, where is gay? We hate that comic book, but Eric, Eric and his black crucifix penis comic, I saw him. That's where it's at. About any of that, to them, it's about, it's about content because the whole content is around finding a target and targeting them.

That's finding the target and targeting them. Their whole comic is about finding them. Their whole content is about finding a target and targeting them. That's finding the target and targeting them. Their whole comment is about finding them. Their whole content is about finding a target and targeting them. Finding a target and ignoring the target. Our content is about finding a target and ignoring it. Yeah, that's what you'll find. The Marvels is out. It's a movie with a bunch of girls being superheroes.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened. They all have so many pronouns that they can't even remember them all. And I heard that Lido was targeting Eric's forklift. I heard that they both have deep targets inside the forklift. They've been targeting Eric's lies forklift. You see the thing is, he's streamed all day about how saying, what's your favorite part of Isom is like, like a trick.

Yeah. Out comics, they don't care about culture, they don't care about Ripper, they don't care. I don't care about pop culture. What the fuck does that mean? I don't have a subscription to us weekly. You tow-headed retard. Right. I mean, you big-lipped fucking, but I think he's, he's stating that as if like it's,

you know, like it's it's a bad thing. Zero punk funk. He's saying you wouldn't even know a funk opop if he's saying your frauds basically for even if dipping your toes into these waters because you don't actually give a shit. I mean, I know what he's saying. I don't, yes, it's true that I don't have a favorite part, but actually no one, it's not, they don't care about pup culture. It's impossible. You know what? A favorite part apparently. Well, I don't have a favorite part, but I actually know. And it's not, they don't care about pup culture. It's impossible to have a favorite part, apparently. Well, I don't know why he said, I wake up and listen to the entire top 40s every day. So his, his, uh, can I work out and out in my eyes on, uh, sweatshirt that I sent me for free?

For some reason, he's trying to say that that, that question is not a legitimate, not a valid question, right? I mean, look at, he's got, look at his beard. Looks like shit. Look at he shaved the, I right? I mean, he's got, look at his beard. Looks like shit. Look at he shaved the... I'm trying to understand what he's saying. Dex talking about his beard. He's like, his beard.

Look at him, just look at him. Look at the fucking mess of this silly putty man. Oh yeah, I mean. Telling me, I don't care about comics. I mean, I love comics. Sure. Actually, I bet I've read more comics than this guy. Maybe.

Probably. Probably. Probably. Fucking toe head over here. You probably isn't toe head blonde. Yeah, but look at his face, it's like a toe. I told people to draw his face on their toe. To head like that. I told people to do, it was pretty funny.

I told people to draw his face on their toe. And then that's how it's that's funny. Asked people to do that. Mr. Potato, okay. Bring them home. Look at this. You put up a busy boy. Look at this fucking shit. Yeah. This is some stupid bitch in Tel Aviv, war days. I hate everything about this. Right. If I'm in this elevator with this woman doing this, take the whole building down. Me too.

I'll be out, I'll be saluting. Saluting, yeah. I'm a Hamas. Text me and say, we're sorry buddy. As long as you get. We gotta take you down. Just get what you see who you're in the elevator with. I'll say, sir, it's the honor and a privilege.

I understand, if I can take the whole building down, shoot the hostage. And then here's Palestine. Yeah. And another, this kid's not dead, thank God. I've seen way too many dead kids. Oh yeah, yeah. You've seen enough dead kids?

Have you? I mean, have you seen enough fucking dead kids? Where's my toes? There's null crying about shit. Oh, no, yep. No, I think such a fucking door. Yeah, here it is. Look.

See, it's a guy painted that guy's face on his towel on his big toe and now it's going pro-downs fucking pro-downs. Right? Pro-downs. Pretty good. It's good. Looks funny. It's good. Looks funny. It's good.

See, look, this, here's that fat bitch that said, um, they called me a Jew later and that's crazy. Yeah. All right. What was I doing? Oh, yeah, this guy. All right, all right, all right. Q and awful.

Well, they are. What is that? Look at this fucking smug. It's chuckle he has. Look at this. BB. Look at this fucking smug. It's chuckle he has. Look at this. BB with two pounds. There's Vito and Dick and massive balance. Human awful.

What human awful? What is that? Does he say human awful? Is he saying shit? No, but it's human awful. Yeah. That is what he said. Because all their fans are like so nutless.

Like they can't say anything negative. So he's really on the, he's on isom, he's on the isom track. Yeah, he's on the isom car. The BBC got it. Big, bad writer car. That's what that's. Look at this. Look at this. BB with the two pounds says Vito and Dick are massive bellens human awful. I'm beautiful. You're beautiful tan in our way. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, they are. I mean, that's just a statement of fact. But as we're going to get into, as we're going to get into, we're talking about people who don't care. They don't care about comics. They don't care about culture. They don't care about Ripper.

They don't care who's bought the book who hasn't seen the book, who's read the book, who hasn't read the book. They don't care about any of that. To them, it's about story. It's about the story. It's about the target and targeting that target. Target. They're targeting targeting target sea. Targeting machine. Yeah, the targeting machines. We're going to get them.

We're going to get these guys. If we circle all wagons and then everybody circles their wagons, they won't have enough wagons to make fun of. And we just tell when they knock out those wagons, we say, what they're saying is not, it's not funny. It's not making fun of you. Actually, and we love you. We're in one group of wagons that they're targeting. That's how it's gonna work. Can you believe this shit? It's a fucking clown. This potato head, potato shape, figure eight head. Saying that I'm bad, what the fuck did I do? I just tried to save a couple of bucks for Halloween.

Yeah, right. His fat moron is saying, I don't care about funk pop culture, whatever that means. Yeah. You believe that? Plout, it's about content because their whole content is around finding a target and targeting them. That's the whole content. What? Yeah, okay. All right. You just watch where you target, buddy.

Watch how you target. What's your target? Their whole content is just targeting targets and targeting them. Yeah. Target. Then they re-target. It's interesting. I think that's the only thing that I can't say.

I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm not sure if I can say that. I'm you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target.

Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target.

Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target.

Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target. Watch how you target.? Arishments. None of my business. Oh, yeah. Kid birthday. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh fuck there's tons of good voicemails too. Really? Shit. Maybe I'll do like a Shoo mini episode a mini episode. Yeah Why not just so I can get through all these voicemails. There's way too many of them. Okay

All right, You can't know something. Okay, this guy, this is one for everybody. Hey, Nick. Hey, Sean. Hey, you know, it makes me a rage is that we all have to apologize to Jimmy McMillan. Remember that guy like 10 years ago, that black guy with the weird cookie bus st that says the red is kudam high and we're laughing and saying ah this guy says people will get breakfast under dinner. Well now we fucking don't and by we I mean the people who are like in the six figure income household brain. Wow. Wow. And whoa. Six. Six. And I'm in the middle of fucking American man. Yep.

We're taking a four check. I can't afford a car. My car is falling apart. The rent's too damn high. Oh. It's fucking a nerve thing is what it is. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, go fuck.

Were you making fun of that guy? I wasn't making fun of that guy. Oh, he gives the smooch sounds too. Oh, big, you're right. Six figures. Where do you, on the scale of, because they have six figures that start with a nine. No, I know.

But you're like, he's almost always a one, right? But it's nothing to fucking sneeze at. You should be able to buy a house anywhere in fucking America making that. You used to be able to. Yeah, but these goddamn people who are not Hamas and the Taliban have made that fucking impossible.

I don't know what to do anymore. Yeah, it's funny. Like people all of a sudden it hits different, different areas at different times. And I think I've done mustaches. Well, I think you're seeing, I think you're seeing America wear a kind of everybody, people who thought they would be untouched by things like that, or now like, oh my God, I don't like I, I went to college, I'll be fine. Right. What the fuck am I fine?

Right. What the hell bring that guy back? Exactly. No, we got it. We got it. The heart failure. Yeah. You have a great guy.

Damn, I, yeah. You guys don't have anybody. Anyway, I have a great day. Let's get some of those fucking Palestine guys in. They're shaking the gates of the White House. Let's get in there here. Hey, can you talk to them about the fucking ramp wire? When you get over there and back and deal

with the circuit circuit service, can you do that? I do not have high hopes for the rest of our lives. Hahaha. Enjoy. They're getting worse. I'ma get that toe head though. Yeah, Bob, I'm gonna get that guy. I'm gonna wrestle him like a gator, stick my thumb in his ass. Yeah. You think about this? How's this for a target? Stick my thumb in his ass. How's this for a target? You big queer? You gotta suck some. Yeah. How far in it goes?

Nope. I think you've been using the wrong pronoun. What kind of pronouns you got in here? I don't know. Fuck. What the, you've been using the wrong pronoun? Well, they don't, you don't really care about comics. I'll show you what I care about. All right, goodbye, everybody.

See you. Thank you. care about comics. Oh, shit. I can't even get out of here. I can't even get out of here. All right, goodbye, everybody. See you. Thank you.