The Dick Show - Episode 386 - Dick on Afuera!

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

A right-wing fascist libertarian is elected in Argentina, a fake Thanksgiving, a specially abled man throws poop around a Goodwill, fat women try to arrest a man, Fruit Loops goes gay, women crash par...k a gigantic plane, and the age of consent of terrorism; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 That's girl wanted to call in today, but I'm like, I don't really can't handle a girl today. I don't think the audience can handle a girl today. Well she is a special, she's a nice girl, but she's fun. Yeah. But she's like one of them, one of them islebs. Yeah. She's a hot girl. Yeah. But she like one of them, one of them islebs. Yeah, yeah. She's a hot girl.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Yeah, so you know. And she wanted to call in. She wanted to call in, it was her idea. Oh, wow. But I said, look honey, it's the season. It's the holiday season. It is. My promise to the audience is that I will not have any women call in during
Starting point is 00:00:46 the month of December. After Thanksgiving, until the end of the year, unless they're in studio, got because, you know, Colin, no, I can't, I'm afraid I cannot do that. Yeah, that's because we've had it up to here with women at this time of the year, okay? We've all gotten a text. This would be a great present for me. For Christmas. We've all gotten, we've all had our fill of them this week. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:16 That's enough. Put my foot down. No. You're just, you know, blocked the number. Hahaha. Blocked a block all women calling my phone. Anybody who wants a present, you know, block the number. Blocked a block all women calling my phone. Anybody who wants a present, you know, did I stop? Oh, yeah, a good idea. Yeah. Do you send me any presents?
Starting point is 00:01:33 Set up my fake credit card number. They're all the purchases seem like they go through, but none of them went through the special card. Part of Chase's new line for men. special card. Part of Chase's new line for men. Chase for men. Chase for men. That transaction. Yeah, it totally went through.
Starting point is 00:01:51 That all those gifts were bought. But then they don't ship or anything. And no, no notice or anything. You get a letter. Chase sends your family a letter handwritten from a little boy in a factory in China that says, please don't make me work on these presents during Christmas time.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Right. I don't wanna stay home and be with my mom and learn English. Christmas big in China, is that the... Oh, they don't know that, they don't know that. They're dumb. These people that you're buying presents for, they don't know shit.
Starting point is 00:02:22 You put them in the woods with nothing dead within 24 hours. Within 24 hours. Yeah, they don't know shit. You put them in the woods with nothing dead within 24 hours. Within 24 hours. Yeah, they don't know anything. They actually speed up the dying process from lack of food. There's still stupid. Yeah. Somebody make it worse immediately. Yeah, they're dead. To the same thing. You know, stay put. If you're lost, don't move around. Don't do anything. Dead. Make sure you don't freeze to death or something and you know, if there's any water around, probably a good idea. Don't drink it. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Oh, I just drank everything. I drank the dirt. I got so thirsty. Yeah. I started drinking leaves and stuff. Yeah. I thought I might have been a mirage. So you started drinking it?
Starting point is 00:03:00 Well, yeah. Yeah, I wanted to make, I wanted it to go away. You've seen the cartoons. You run it and then it goes away. Right. So you know, so you're a piece make, I wanted it to go away. You've seen the cartoons? You run it and it goes away. So you know, so your piece of, it's my mental health. I know how it works. How was your Thanksgiving? Give it a Hamas out of 10.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Oh, Hamas for good. 10 Hamas for bad Thanksgiving. Mine was probably a, mine started it as cereal. It was good for good. It was a Hamas out of Thanksgiving. Mine was probably a, mine started at this cereal. It was cereal Hamas at a 10. Started? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:29 But the Hamas'ing went up. It did. After I left, get a load of this scam that my mom's running. Oh, okay. Apparently only the women were told of this. I sure wasn't told of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Whole Foods had some kind of deal. My mom, we always have a big Thanksgiving dinner, right? Yeah. Big Thanksgiving dinner. Got my sister's family there. My parents, you know, we go out there, bring the dog. Yeah. We dress our dog up like our son and put her at the table.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Good. Put her in a little suit. Mm-hmm. Make everyone use the wrong pronoun for. Good. Cause they give them too much nonsense and they lose track of the original nonsense. They're right, right. They're right, right.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Wait a minute, wait a minute. I got you confused with the pronoun stuff you're doing. It's how clever writers get jokes past S&P. Like they do the obvious once they go, oh, we caught that blatant joke. And they got three other ones through that are much more clever where it's like, I can't believe they got that through.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yeah. It's like, yeah, because you feed the idiots. Here's one that they're getting through right now. Elizabeth Warren. Oh, wow. Right into it. We don't need another private equity deal that could lead to higher food prices for consumers.
Starting point is 00:04:46 The FTC is right to investigate whether the purchase of subway sandwiches by the same firm that owns Jimmy John's Yeah, and Macalester's deli creates a sandwich shop monopoly. Why don't you blow your brains out, y'all bitch? I mean, fuck why don't you swallow your dentures and fucking choke to death on a medical life alert bracelet? I mean, who owns, I mean, what about like, you know, young foods who owns all kinds of I mean, what fucking meat at this store? What about mortgage rates or eight fucking percent? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like, I can't believe it.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Anyone would support Hamas. Why don't you read that tweet out loud to somebody else? Not in your head. Read it fucking out loud about a sandwich shop monopoly. You're fucking idiot. How about that? That's not the, you know, this, how many want to just get you on the other side.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I know, man. Totally fucking baffling why that would happen. Holy shit. That sandwich shop that gave a pedophile, millions of dollars might merge with fucking Jimmy John and then who got only knows how expensive sandwiches could be they could be a billion dollars you gotta have to go to mike's
Starting point is 00:05:53 you got no who knows them yeah let's take it all the way to the top of quiznos who owns the who owns the very top of the sandwich chain yeah it's a little mott's that never mind, never shut it down. Shut it down, shut it's fine, the deal's fine. Never mind, stop. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Oh, is this your, uh, the fuck is this? It's not an answer, I don't know who that is. Oh, I wasn't gonna answer it. Am I not live on something? Is that what that means? We never did look. Is that Riley's new number? Yeah, we didn't look today.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Vimeo, Rumble. Let's see. Oh, oh, oh, I know this. I know what it is. I know what it is. He said I was gonna put that in my startup thing. There we go. God dammit. There.
Starting point is 00:06:40 There, there, there, there. You just missed the greatest seven minutes this show has ever done. Fuck, now I gotta upload a fucking, now the video isn't gonna be matched up. No, I have to, no, I have to, not have to delete it. So nobody, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Anyway. Anyway, so gender with size surgery dick. To my dog. I'm surgery dick to my dog. What's it with my dog with your giving you were a gender reassignment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God fucking damn it. I have to upload a new thing. Was I saying about sandwiches sandwich, monopoly? There can be who knows how much you were saying there's a little guy with a hat at the top or something like that or what?
Starting point is 00:07:28 I mean, that's your word. It's not mine. Where'd you say? Oh, I said there's a guy with a little hat. He said there was a little guy with a hat. Hey, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:07:42 So Thanksgiving is a couple of months perpetrating and Thanksgiving. Okay, yeah. How little is the hat though? Yeah, like a baseball hat on me, because that's small. I see, or a scribe that is little. A little guy with a little hat.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Here's the scam my mom's running on Thanksgiving. It's a whole, some kind of a Whole Foods pack, like a Thanksgiving in a can that you get, and it's like a hundred bucks, and it's not got enough stuff for everybody. Oh. But it's just like, first of all, I knew something was a miss.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Your dad didn't cook? He cooked the turkey. He did, okay, I figured he would. He got the turkey though, because the turkey leftovers were a little lean this year. I like to mow through turkey leftovers. It's like just taken from a cornucopia. Right.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Yeah. Taking from abundance. That's a small turkey. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe the boys are getting bigger. Yeah. So they're consuming more turkey.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Probably. I've put a stop to that. I got to start calling those fuckers fat. Right. Give them a stop. Give them a complex. Never too early to start that. I don't know if that works on boys though, does it? They only get big rexia.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yeah, I think you probably would have had to start earlier than... To give them anorexia. To give them something. We'd have to get rid of their dad to give them a problem like, to give them an esoteric problem like that. Maybe so. Little light in the leftovers. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Loafers this year. Right. The left over. I'm like budgeting myself. Like, am I fucking over? Am I girlfriend? Am I eating this leftover? I don't like to be in a position
Starting point is 00:09:17 where I think about other people. You know this. Sure. Especially during the holidays. There should be, right. There should be a stupid amount of food. Yeah. Like what I have. I know this is gonna go bad. If I don't eat it, if I don't eat it, I know this is
Starting point is 00:09:30 gonna go bad. That's what I need. Oh yeah. I need that to leave my guilt of eating one in the morning. If I don't eat this, this shit's gonna go bad. And that's basically like, that's hurting poor people somehow. Sure. I gotta eat the, like the power's out. Let's get to town on this leftover stuff. I ate a shit ton on the day and then on Friday, I said, well, I'll start my huge leftover like power through on Saturday. So on Friday, you know what I ate?
Starting point is 00:10:00 The only thing I ate all day? Come. Rounds of pie. Rounds. Yeah, like a couple pieces here. Oh, oh, like a few hours later. No, they're fucking Friday was pie. Oh my god total That's it. Zero homos. That's it. That's fucking phenomenal three different pies. How could you eat that much pie? It wasn't easy You get constipated or something. It was left, oh. No, no. I mean, apples, there's apples. Oh, okay, apple pie.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Pumpkin, pumpkin's got a lot of pie pie. It does? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it gets all, you know, I've, like regular canned pumpkin does. Got a shit ton of fiber. And fucking my girlfriend makes the best key lime pie on the planet. So I'd fucking your girlfriend makes the best key lime pie.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Yeah, wow. To muller that shit too. Anyway, I had a weird, I've been sober since Wednesday. What? I went out, we went out with Randy having sushi. Oh, I always just a shit show. That's a shit show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Having sushi with Randy is like, I gotta stop. If I don't, I'm gonna stop drinking or stop drinking. I'm drinking this week. So I've had, you know, I've been eating like a normal human amount. Wow. Still a lot, but. So the scam my mom's running is buying a pre-made
Starting point is 00:11:17 Thanksgiving from Whole Foods. Yeah. And I knew something was amiss when I noticed a disturbing amount of stuffing. What's going on here? Why is there something else? Yeah, there's something else is fucked with. This cranberry sauce is a little odd because every mom only makes one kind of cranberry sauce. You might switch it up during menopause, but you got one or two cranberry recipes out of mom. I've never seen this pure shit before.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Well, I mean, you got here. Are you used to eating whole cranberry recipes out of mom. Yeah. I've never seen this pure shit before. Well, I mean, you got here. Wait, are you used to eating like, you know, whole cranberry sauce? Out of the can, just like. Oh, out of the can? Yeah. Oh, the tube. See, I always, that's the best kind.
Starting point is 00:11:54 We always had, I always make the, you know, cranberries out of the real cranberries. Like real cranberries? Yeah. Okay, you make them? Yeah. The easiest thing in the world. You get, no, not making anything? Yeah. The easiest thing in the world. You get...
Starting point is 00:12:06 No, not making anything. You get the easiest thing in the world. One bag of cranberries, one cup sugar, one cup water. That's it. Two bags. And I just eat it together. Two. Boil it.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Boil it. Well, it's up a little bit. Okay, so you put a little cinnamon in it. It's fucking great. That's more work than my mom. She takes all this stuff from Whole Foods, takes it out of the fucking containers, hides the containers, scarulously, puts them all in warming pots, and is there pretending to make
Starting point is 00:12:32 Thanksgiving? So I'm there complimenting everything, trying to do my part by eating the food and complimenting, oh, this is so great, thanks a lot. And I noticed that something was off. Like something is fucking off here. We're a little hesitant noticed that something was off. I'm like something is fucking off We're a little hesitant to take a compliment, but I'm like, I don't want to start anything I've already been making way too many jokes about Hamas and stuff, right?
Starting point is 00:12:52 I know that whole I taught the boys what terrorism was last week And that I know that fuck everything up, right? So I'm not gonna push it, but then we get home and my girlfriends is well, yeah, because all of it was from Whole foods. Like you mean to fucking tell me that I'm complimenting my mother on food that she pretended to fucking make, and she doesn't say anything. Right. And I'm just sitting there making a fucking fool of myself in front of everybody. Oh, this is so good.
Starting point is 00:13:19 What a different type of cranberry sauce you're making. And everybody's fucking laughing at me. Where are they? probably in their heads They probably went home Eating this leftovers that might as well be from McDonald's yeah, juggling themselves to dint of fits of laughter over what a stupid Idiot I was We're not this big fucking joke by cover because oh yeah I saw her spawning it out of the out of... containers and throwing the containers away and you said nothing
Starting point is 00:13:46 what the fuck is that you said nothing even during dinner while i was compliment there what the fuck wow boy that's not even a power to get her a shitty your christmas present because i'm not doing that immediately shot to ten hummus and it immediately went from zero Hamas to 10 Hamas. Yep.
Starting point is 00:14:06 The day. So now I have to be on guard for this. Right. Why don't you just tell me to pick up a subway sandwich on the way over. There you go. Why do we have to go through this whole routine? I mean, you know what? Maybe I made it then.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Hey, I think me for this dinner, right? I mean, they did have to take out a home equity line of credit to pay for it, I'm sure. It's a pay for my subway sandwich. I have no idea how expensive Whole Foods is now. 100 bucks. But it was, it was a hundred dollar deal. That's it, right? That was a hundred dollar deal.
Starting point is 00:14:35 That's how much the price of my dignity is, Sean. The price of humiliating me in front of everybody. How many people did that, quote unquote, feed? Well, the boys probably count as half. My sister's husband's probably one and a half. So, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I'm actually a little bit of, I mean, there was enough stuff for 50 people.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I'm actually shocked. It was a hundred bucks. Who knows who's a white labeling who many more could be from one, two, three, their subsidiary kitchen united. The same place that I'm eating from could be serving the fucking homeless, okay? We have no idea who's making this food. Amazon just dumps it into a truck with a shovel.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Could be the homeless making it. Could be the fucking homeless making it. Could be the fucking homeboy bakery in two rags Yeah, making my big give it get out. Yeah, yeah And I just eat it knowing nothing ever Thinking nobody for the privilege Everything's got it
Starting point is 00:15:42 There was ever a victim. It's! Once again, it's me! Not detecting any input Uh... Did I not connect? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:16:00 Welcome to Deg! You are Deg! Deg! Deg! Deg! Deg! Deg! The show is a contest coming alive from Monk or Mountain Bunker deep in the heart of the city of Velia. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA This course is even working today. Oh no. Fuck this. I'm so fucking tired of the holidays already. Fuck this. Fuck this and fuck you. But you just had one. You just had one holiday. It's never ending, Sean. I know.
Starting point is 00:16:33 It's never ending, you know that. It starts either in a holiday, holidays are year round. Vito gives me this black pack man. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? I was gonna ask about that. Welcome to, hey, Mary and Christmas time. Here's black pack man. What the fuck? What am I supposed to do with this? I was gonna ask about that. Welcome to, hey, Mary and Christmas time, here's Black Pac-Man. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:16:47 What are you supposed to do with a Black Pac-Man? Is that real? Is that real? Is that real? Yeah, this is an official license, Pac-Pot product of Pac-Man, yeah. So I never noticed that you had like boxing gloves. Uh, I guess.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Well, he does, he's a brawler. Yeah, I guess. Sure. He's a brawler. Yeah, I guess sure. He's got mits somehow. Yeah. He's a mech here. Please made a meadow. Oh, the ghosts are down there. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what this I feel like a veto is like a cat bringing me a dead possum Yeah, bringing me this. What is this that you brought me this on the day of my my daughter's wedding? It means either it means either like, I'm honoring you or fear me. You know, it's a best of you. Yeah, we're dead possum.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, he's, he's bringing me one of his Black Friday deals. Yeah. What is this, Vito? Yeah. What do you mean? Wow. What am I supposed to do with it?
Starting point is 00:17:39 You're taking out of the box. Okay. What does it mean? It was a good deal. It was 80 bucks and I got it for 20. Is that good? Are you giving me the concept of a deal? Are you giving me something you want me to know is cheap?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Why do you have it? Yeah, that's right. You could read that either way, I guess. It's difficult to decipher. Yeah, he's a tricky one. Is it working now? I'm so fucking pissed I didn't have that connected because I restarted my computer.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Hey, speaking of Friday deals, Black Friday deals. There's a new shirt in the store. Oh yeah. Check it out, Sean. Okay. Oh and the fat watch pins are up. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:18:18 You're on the Patreon. There's a code in there. You just go Patreon or any other ones if you're on Patreon or back by, you could put a code in and get a free fat watch pin the shipping sucks five bucks That's no fault of mine. Obviously But you can get that and you can also get this I love that I just I love the the blue hair and the yeah so funny Somebody said it looks like Ralph said it's not when he had blue hair. So it's not Ralph.
Starting point is 00:18:47 I blew hair, Annie, when he was fat. Now he's, have you seen him? It looks like some Hollywood writers of the last several years. Yeah. This is the, this is the writer and main actress for the new Tomb Raider series that's coming up. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Isn't it remarkable? The likeness. Oh man. It's fucking remarkable. Ah. So this will be a pin that's an inch wide. Oh, that's great. That's so great.
Starting point is 00:19:13 We're free basically except for shipping. And if you think the shipping's a pain in the ass, you can throw yourself in this attack of the 50 tonne woman t-shirt. Look at that. You got to get that made. See, I put 50 tonned woman in Japanese. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:19:26 So only Japanese people will be able to read it and they also think white women are too fat. And probably their own women are too fat. A little joke that you can share. How could they, with your Japanese buddies? How could they not think that white women are too fat? Ha! I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:42 How do white women, two out of three women are obese now, like medically obese. Medically obese. I don't doubt you. Fatically obese, all of them are obese. Let me see if I have that study right. Fat, I don't know, it's probably on the other side. Well, when people hear obese, they think morbidly obese.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Which they are. But like that's a different, you know, it's a different thing. I don't know, is BMI the way that they calculate that now? They just eyeball it anymore. They bring a man and if the chair starts creaking in the doctor's office, they go, you're fat. I think I've got those metal ones now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:19 So they go, if it starts giving it creaks out, oh wow. Yeah. Two second groaner. Yeah. Two second growner. Mm. What's even the point? The doctor's up finally just say, you know what, we, it doesn't, it'd be a might as a matter.
Starting point is 00:20:35 They're not losing any fucking weight. So just pigs, fuck it. Just don't even like, yeah, here we go. Just add more. If you guys are gonna need like a new letter, six, six, eight, X, you know, whatever, 12x. Fuck it. They'll have to invent like a new symbol for clothing
Starting point is 00:20:54 or something. That's 10 Hamas out of 10. 10 Hamas. Bad party. It's how fat women are. Yeah. I thought I was gonna save Thanksgiving. You did, have a good day of video games.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Oh, by playing video games? Yeah, I did nothing yesterday, but play video games. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking great. Yeah. I didn't even shower until the end of the day. Yeah, fuck it. I have it a shower before bed. Where you gotta go? Just the magical world of Bowser's Kingdom and Star Road.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Is that the latest Mario? Actually, it's one that's five years old. Is it? So it's even more. magical world of Bowser's Kingdom and Star Road. Is that the latest Mario? Actually, it's one that's five years old. So it's even more enjoyable for me. It's called Bowser's Kingdom. It's called actually, it might be 10 years old. Mario's 3D world. And it wasn't just your normal video game playing.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Yeah. This was going back through the levels and getting all the stars and stamps. So the secret stamp things. They have stamps. Like, I think 100% of everything. Really? So I knew my girlfriend would hate it because I was just redoing old shit that I already did.
Starting point is 00:21:57 They can tell. But because you know, they love it. Because you're too good at it. Yeah, too good. Not exciting. I'm just like looking at charts and stuff. It's like, what are you doing? Just getting a hundred on everything.
Starting point is 00:22:06 So I hate that. I don't enjoy watching that at all. Right. I was hoping you'll fuck it up, right? You'd die. But then, I do talk about my girlfriend plays games and I talk shit. You talk shit?
Starting point is 00:22:18 Yeah, I talk shit. Well, I knew that would happen. So. Secure in the knowledge that I will never play the game. Oh, yeah, you fucker. Yeah, so I'm sitting on a, I'm definitely back seat. I Secure in the knowledge that I will never play the game. Oh, yeah, you fucker. Yeah, so I'm sitting on a, I'm definitely backseat. I mean, it's fun for me.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Yeah, it's fun for me. I lost in Scrabble this week too, so it was one. Oh, did you? Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. I got looked up in the dictionary on Scrabble. Oh, really? Lost my last turn and then lost the game.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Really? Yeah, I got challenged. Yeah. In the dictionary. Yeah. For a word that I knew was not a word. Yeah, and you're hoping that nobody would... I was hoping my girlfriend would not challenge it. I was trying to gaslight her into not challenging it. Teacher though. Yeah. So I got looked up, lost my turn turn and then got all letters played on me and minest my own letters from my score. So pretty Hamas. Yeah. Pretty Hamas week. So I'm playing the collect all the stamps and stars and stuff. The best way to play video games. And she sees me playing around on my phone,
Starting point is 00:23:25 on pause, and she's like, are you looking up where the stamps are? I bust my girlfriend on that shit all the time. Why are you on your laptop now? Well, I was trying to hide it. It's just cheating. Well, yeah. So she's like, well, none of this counts then.
Starting point is 00:23:41 You're not really doing 100% you're just looking up on the computer and then doing it. That's not, You're not really, you're not really like doing 100% you're just looking up on the computer and then doing it. That's not, you're not really, you're not doing it. Right. The computer is, man's doing it. Right. So well, I'm going to dress up the dog and miss gender
Starting point is 00:24:06 her. Okay, pretty good. How about, here's a hundred ways white people can make life less frustrating for black people. What do you think about that? I think it's with my mind always. I think it's a great premise. 100 ways. You see what's going on in Ireland? No. And some kind of a stabbing going on with immigrants. Some kind of immigrants came in, start stabbing kids. Nobody sat them down and said,
Starting point is 00:24:38 hey, can you guys not do that? There's a, you can steal shit, that's fine. There's a rash of stabbing in Ireland. Yeah, we're trying to take the white, we're trying to take the white in Ireland from 95% down to like, you know, 20%. Like that's our goal with the next 100 years. But you guys going around stabbing kids,
Starting point is 00:24:54 you kind of fucking it up. Okay. That's the one thing across all cultures that nobody tolerates. Yeah. And it's really into stabbing. I know kids are not your kids. never put you in a stabbing situation. Almost pretty much never. I can say never. Yeah, I've never been a case where you
Starting point is 00:25:12 was a stab a kid. With an adult, you're the adult, you're stabbing a kid. First of all, you could punch him. Right. Everybody understands if you punch kids. Yeah. Everybody. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Especially around the holidays. Everybody has seen a kid that they want a punch or that they hope that, you know, that one of the parents will punch. They never, they never do, you know, but headlines will never read. Riot broke out because man punched a kid, right, especially in Ireland, right, never gonna happen, right? Have a couple beers. Get really hate kids. Go around, play rock and sock, I wish men, right? All right. But the stabbing is just totally unnecessary. Yes, yes, yes. You really hate kids, go around play rock and sock and Irishmen, all right? But the stabbing is just totally unnecessary.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Yes, yes, yes. All right, it's egregious. It's like too much. Yeah, it's too much. They're burning all the hotels down because the hotels are housing the immigrants. Oh no. So I think Connor McGregor might have said this,
Starting point is 00:25:59 go burn the hotels before they can put immigrants there. It's not a bad plan. I mean, he could maybe a little, he could say something like that. Yeah, he could, that would be like, Manipackia saying it in the Philippines. Yeah, well, you know, you could tell them though. Yeah, I don't know, I'm not going to.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Right. I'm just sitting over here in LA where you guys, where we, actually, I personally helped get the whites down to, you know, 20, 25% where everybody wants them, right? You didn't see that shit in Ireland? No, no, I have not checked in with the news. Oh, dude, it's great. So then the Irish government came out and said, well, we got a crack down on this hate
Starting point is 00:26:38 speech. Oh, okay, instead of the, yeah. Yeah, like there's a lot, there's just way too much hate speech going around. What was the start? Was it wasn't one stabbing? Was there a bunch of stab like five kids? There was a guy, one guy stabbed with a manion. They've been devil. They shipped them in from, took them from the front lines of, I don't know where they got. I don't know where their immigrants are from in Ireland. It's funny though, because Ireland hasn't done any of this stuff that like all the other,
Starting point is 00:27:03 like America has done. Yeah. All the slavery and stuff and like invading and taking land from Indians and stuff. It's just always been them doing their own thing. Them fucking it up. Yeah, it's just them been them like doing a frat party for like, you know, 2000 years.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah, right. And they didn't take anybody shit. They didn't have any slaves. So, you can't get guilted into anything with immigrants. Like, you guys should take some immigrants because you had slaves. We didn't have, oh, it had slaves. I guess not, huh?
Starting point is 00:27:34 No, he didn't. Well, what about all the Indians land? You know, we didn't take any of these land. What about colonizing? We didn't do that. Actually, we did get colonized by the British. Yeah. We fucking terrorized. We fucking hum hum us the shit out of them.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Yeah, for the most part. Yeah, I mean, you know, there's still a little bit that they need to get back, but. Well, you should still take some immigrants. Yeah. Okay, we'll take a couple. Yeah. Hey, these are stabbing guys.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Well, now you're doing hate speech. Yeah. Oh, what? Right? Pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff. Let me find the, let me find the guys talking about. Yeah. Ah! Wah! Right? Prefining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Let me find the... Let me find the guys talking about it. Uh... Oh yeah, crack down on Heats Prime Minister. They'll pass Heats Speech Laws and stuff. That's cool. Just to our laws. The next couple of weeks, to allow this guy.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Yeah, this guy. We're going to make sure that we make those changes to our laws. Yeah. In the next couple of weeks, to allow the work. We're going to make sure that we make those changes to our laws in the next couple of weeks to allow the Guardian to use that evidence and go through that evidence and identify the people who are involved in these actions. And we are going to get them. In addition to that, I think it's now very obvious to anyone who might have doubted us that our incitement hatred legislation is just not up to date. It's not up to date for the social media age.
Starting point is 00:28:44 And we need that legislation through, we need to through within a matter of weeks because it's not just the platforms who have a responsibility here. And there's also the individuals who post messages and images online that stir up hatred and violence. We need to be able to use laws to go after them individually as well. We're going to make sure that we make those changes to our laws. Oh, well, you had a nice country for... They were the last ones. The last holdouts.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Oh, yeah. This hate speech, retarded hate speech, shit. Maybe so. I love Ireland. I'd go there again in a second. Oh, yeah. You got to go while the Gitton's good now, I guess. I've never been there, but...
Starting point is 00:29:20 Yeah, it sounds awesome. It's amazing. All right, let me see here. A hundred ways white people can make life less frustrating for people of color from 2018. Oh, is it? Well, whatever. I mean, it's still the, yeah, I mean, they have do that shit all the time. I'm not kidding. I don't care. I mean, it's still, well, I mean, but it's still, you know, the climate is pretty similar, right? I mean, uh, yeah, I think it's much worse. Uh, well, someone tells me from Uganda, don't say I went to Nigeria once.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Just please. Cause no one's ever. Yeah. Wait, if you're talking to a white person, what you can safely assume they've never been to Africa. And has ever happened. If so South South Africa. I've from Uganda, I went to Nigeria.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Unless their parents were missionaries. Yeah, don't assume or guess people's races. It's not a fun game for us. Oh, come on. What do you mean, come on? It's kind of fun. Don't assume race. So, boy, is this four-blessed? Yeah, this is just for people of color. People of color. Don't assume race. So is this four black people?
Starting point is 00:30:25 No, this is just for people of color. People of color. Okay, so it's this, so Mexicans. Don't guess black people. Don't guess people's race. Like don't assume that people of color share the same views. We are not a monolith.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Okay. Okay. Okay, all right. Just ask every little thing you should ask Don't refer to Africa as a country. It's a continent and it's wildly varied. I mean Just every conversation with a black guy have to have to be about Well, just offer a lie in the need to talk about Africa Never yeah, especially around the rest assured, no person of color wants you to get back from a holiday.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Show off your tan and explain, look, I'm almost as dark as you. I don't really care about that. People do that to me all the time. Yeah. I see all these things are completely. That's like a Mexican thing. No one's ever done that to a black guy. Oh, oh, man, I'm almost black.
Starting point is 00:31:23 You're not even closed, dude. Yeah. Talking about a tan person. These, oh, man, I'm almost black. You're not even closed, dude. Yeah. Talking about a tan person. These are all like foreign concepts to me. Like I wouldn't do any of these. Just out of the way. I'm gonna do this shit all the time.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Just like basic, I don't know, just like, yeah. It's just not like what, it's just not something that I would do. Don't make embarrassing jokes or try to be down with people of color. That's fucking embarrassing right there. The way you've used it will laugh at you. And we'll laugh at you, not with you. Uh-huh. Okay, okay, cool guy.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Huh, okay. That's the last thing I want. Being laughed at. Avoid phrases like, but I have a black friend. I can't be racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Like, are these, here's one thing people of color can do to make life easier for white people.
Starting point is 00:32:14 I know what it's like to be a person of color. I'm a ginger. Come on now. Nobody's ever done that, have they? No. Come on. Fuck an attention, Horace, I don't know so old all right Here's from here's the sentiment in Ireland. Okay. I'm a woman in Ireland Immigrants do not make me feel unsafe
Starting point is 00:32:36 Refugees do not make me feel unsafe These Irish men make me feel unsafe. Uh-huh Okay, I guess that's I mean I guess that's she's probably these Irish men make me feel unsafe. Uh-huh. Okay. I guess that's, I mean, I guess that's, she's probably telling the truth. I don't know. Connor McGregor is pretty scary fellow, suppose. Yeah, I mean, you know, she just,
Starting point is 00:32:59 make sure you keep a broken bottle in your hand at all times. At all times, probably a full bottle will help you better dealing with Irish men, dealing with men in general. Maybe. You'd rather rape me or drink this beer. The beer, much more. I'll drink the beer first, but don't you go nowhere.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Yeah. Don't go anywhere. All right. Go on, you just have a seat. I have this beer. Don't be putting your keys in your hand either. Like Wolverine, I've seen that. If I got another beer, if you don't rape me, I'll go,
Starting point is 00:33:30 after you finish that beer, you can go to that bar, have another beer. Right. What's really, okay. It's good. I wonder if any of them have ever tried that. You would think that I would try it. It's how that was a woman.
Starting point is 00:33:48 It's how to have been tried once. How would you like it? Don't you want another drink? Don't you really just want another drink? I'll break this beer right now. Look, if you pull your dick out, if you finish unbuttoning your pants out, so help me God, I will break this beer. I'm at the liquor store.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I will get you whatever you want. Like it's like I can smell booze on your breath. You don't really want to do this. You're gonna regret this. You're gonna regret this. Yeah, you're gonna regret this. But you're not gonna regret this beer. You're not gonna regret, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:13 You've got one more beer. You're a great, you know, 20, but not one additional one. It stands to reason that someone has definitely been talked out of rape, right? That, that's had to have happened. I, yeah, I feel like the way women speak has evolved to do that. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Here's what they can do in the England, TV license. Let me see this. Pretty, this is pretty funny. I'm not fining this is fake anymore, honestly though.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Well, you know what I mean? It's like you gotta go, you gotta look. Yeah. You gotta look at a few places and... You gotta just kinda trust that somebody did their research. You gotta believe community notes, right? I definitely do not trust that. Community notes would pop up if this was fake, I think.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Sort of what? Here's a house in England. Sorry, and what are you doing? There's a guy outside the window trying to get in. He's, he's, he's, some kind of a rope in from outside. He looks official. What's he trying to, he's trying to get their TV license fee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, they do that, but. Okay. What's he trying to, he's trying to get their TV license fee.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, they do that, but. Okay. And what do you want? So you are 1,358 pound and 56p. Yeah. Right? Because obviously unpaid TV license. Okay. Obviously I've come around here to collect a payment in full
Starting point is 00:36:00 or we'll remove goods up to the value of the 1,000 pound. Because we have to crazer with us. I think the side of the house is in the window. Because if there's an open window or a ladder to get an access to the property, sir. So you're saying that you legally can climb from our window? That's exactly what I'm saying, yeah. But you can't open the door please, sir. Can't open the door.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Can't open the door. To come and speak to me. Okay, but I'm not shiny at shouting you for a window. I've not got a TV, so I'm going to pay for TV life. Okay. All right, you do have a TV. How do you all got a TV? You already walked around your building,
Starting point is 00:36:32 I can see when I'm living room. I don't care if it's fake. It's fake. I don't care if it's fake or not. It's fucking funny. Like, oh man, you know, I mean, it's obviously. Thank God for white, for guns and white trash in America. We'd have so much, we'd have so much bigger government problems
Starting point is 00:36:50 if we didn't have guns and trailer parks. Like, oh man, that's crazy about the TV lights. You should go do that over there. Yeah. Make sure that guy pays it. Oh my god. I'm on a mod of audio. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the other stuff about them, that's funny. There's an owing, but that one thing they can really do. Let's see here. Oh, New York's doing the same thing. I guess everything is in the same theme. Oh yeah. Today, this is when they sneak all the shit through though,
Starting point is 00:37:23 like IRS and income tax, marriage tax. Right, right. And the federal reserve all went through on Christmas Eve, New York surveillance today. Slide it right on through, and nobody paying attention. Governor, Kathleen Weachel announced that New York is collecting data
Starting point is 00:37:43 from surveillance efforts on social media. Oh, cool. If you say something considered hate speech on social media, they will try to contact you. What? Okay, let's see. Is this about Israel probably? Probably.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Well, the government's not getting involved for a bunch of N words. I mean, for people saying the N word, not... Ugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We need a 400th episode party. I think we should. We're at 386 right now. We got three months to plan it. We'll probably live that long. Yeah, I think so. I could easily live three months.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Also, we're very focused on the data we're collecting from surveillance efforts. What's being set on social media platforms and we have launched an effort to be able to counter some of the negativity and reach out to people when we see hate speech being spoken about on online line platforms. What was that?
Starting point is 00:38:56 Sorry, what? You didn't say that again. And reach out to people when we see hate speech being spoken about on online platforms. Our media analysis. Is that up to teleprompter? Our social media analysis unit has ramped up its monitoring of sites to catch incitement to violence, direct threats
Starting point is 00:39:16 to others. And all of this is, in response to our desire, our strong commitment to ensure that not only do New Yorkers be safe, but they also feel safe. Because personal security is about area. See, I think I strok right now. Is this being translated to jive?
Starting point is 00:39:36 Yeah, I don't know. Live. As I said, no one walking down the street or in a subway, she'd feel they have to hide than the indications of what the religious beliefs are. Oh, okay. We expect to see people. So you could walk around in those hats
Starting point is 00:39:52 and fucking the curly braids and stuff. Right, yeah, well sure. You don't wanna be. She's really talking about religious stuff. Yeah, yeah. Religious stuff? Is it religious stuff? I mean stuff. Yeah, yeah. Religious stuff? Is it religious stuff? I mean, you know.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Talk, she's being kind of, it's kind of topical, isn't it? God, it sounds like she's got a dreidel pressed into her back while she's even giving the sleep. Okay, no funny stuff. Don't turn it. You are on fire, Dad. Hahaha. Because I had a very homo-sweak.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Yeah. Did you know you're not allowed to get a DNA test in Israel? You know, that's forbidden. No. I don't even know if this is true. I tried to look it up. Realize. I saw a TikTok on and a guy goes, yeah, it's forbidden
Starting point is 00:40:40 to get a DNA test. So I looked it up and found a Jerusalem post explaining why it's forbidden. I don't know what that means illegal. For a bit and to me, it means worse than illegal. Like even if you break the law, there's not a punishment for it. Fucking forbidden. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:57 That involves banishment usually. Okay. For bitterness usually subsuperseeds the law. Yeah. Here's what I found on it. By law, genetic information testing may require obtaining explanations from a doctor and informed consent to perform the test
Starting point is 00:41:12 and should be checked only in the lab by a genetic institute, recognize the license. You can't do a 23 of me if you're highly in Israel. Right, right, right. That's a little odd. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:41:24 Like what's the right? Why? Is it because it will show that there's no genetic link to that land you sitting on and blowing people up over? Why is there another reason? I don't know. I can't come up with another reason. Well, I mean, I think, you know, that's such a thing. It's not the only thing that's over the place over there. Yeah, I just walked out scrape it off the ground. Yeah. Give me some of those kids. Give me one of those 10,000 kids you got in the combine. Where's my, wait.
Starting point is 00:41:52 How long have I been waiting for my husband's ball sack? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's the most fucked up thing that's ever been brought into this show, I think. I know. I'm shocking. It's a fucking animated, it's an animated cartoon. I'm like, I haven't, I haven't looked at one more thing on that, like I just wanna just remember it as it was. There's no more things on it. I know, it's 100% true. No, I said it. It's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Okay, let me see if I have other Israel stuff today. Come on, you piece of shit, work. Israel. Oh yeah, Israel. Okay. Okay. So they set, they set these guys, they did a hostage exchange.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. Uh, I don't know, I don't know Israel had any hostages. Actually. Okay, I heard about that. Uh, I don't know, I don't know, Israel had any hostages actually. Oh, I guess they do. Somebody corrected me and told me that they were prisoners in prison for crimes. And I said, okay, I've heard that from our cops too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, a couple guys have called in who were terrorists
Starting point is 00:43:03 in prison for like two years. So I don't know couple guys have called in who were terrorists in prison for like two years So I don't know what crimes were they at and they give me a list and on the list is throwing rocks I'm so okay, so that was the crime uh-huh supporting terrorism like uh Pretty sure that's not a crime. I don't here's one of them There's this little fucker. How do you think he is? I mean, I don't, let me see. You know, I'm not like in love with teenage boys or something. Yeah. So this is a little young.
Starting point is 00:43:31 He's going to college. Paul Stein. Terry. He's a palestinian. Yeah, he got let out. They seem pretty psyched to have him back. Yeah. I think, I think everybody should be let out.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Who knows how long he was there too. So, I mean, he's got bitches in here for. Yeah, this bitch was been here for eight years. Eight years and really, prison is real for. Like a two foot ceiling. Yeah, they said they're like, I told them I was in rooms for six people. I honestly thought that was a coffee table with popery on it.
Starting point is 00:43:59 They didn't update her kit when she got out. I guess this dude look this dude stopped at the fucking fit store and got him So I know I know seriously bitch is wearing my grandma's tablecloth I'll hopefully detain an Armenian I don't know who's who anymore right, they can't do genetic testing because then they're all gonna figure out that they're the fucking Identical like oh wait a minute that guy's wearing tracksuits. I'm wearing fucking tracksuits. Yeah, wait a minute They can't do genetic testing because then they're all gonna figure out that they're the fucking identical Like oh wait a minute that guy's wearing tracksuits. I'm wearing fucking tracksuits. Wait a what's going on here? Yeah Why is this wall stopping us from getting good tracksuits over there right right right? What she is she's doing it. It's a transformer. Yes. Yes. Again, coffee table, Palestinian.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Coffee table, Palestinian. Does Islam have a Transformers crew that transformed to Mecca? Like, monobots, Transform and they all face Mecca. Go, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just so bad. Yeah. They transferred him into suicide bombers. Oh, God. Wobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobwobw were like coming in their pants. It's like, yes, fucking terrorists hit the northern border. Now it's real, now terrorism is a big problem, right?
Starting point is 00:45:26 Wait, they turned out to be some like, some like sofa king guy who's Bentley was malfunctioning. But it was like they were one stop. They assumed that it was a terrorist driving a Bentley into the border fucking fence. So yeah, right. When people just love, they just want terrorism to happen, fucking all the time.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yeah, okay. They're like, yes, they just want terrorism to happen. Fucking all the time. Yeah, okay. Um, like, yes. Fucking tear attack at the border. So it was just a, it was just a rich guy whose car was fucking up. Yes, but then here's the, here's why it annoyed me. Let me bring up. Oh, wait, are we done with this guy? Oh, I'm saying I think there's a little young to cause somebody a terrorism.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Like if you can't consent to sex, you can't be a terrorist, right? I mean, you're getting groomed. Yeah. Criminal shares are pretty arbitrary. I mean, the label terrorists, like, you could be a criminal as a kid, you could break laws. Yeah. But go so far as to say you're like ideologically committing crimes as like a pair of
Starting point is 00:46:20 military force like, ah, you'd probably just be you would just, that's like saying, oh, she's, you know, she's older than her years. Like, now you're raping that kid, man, you're growing your, she's having sex, but it's rape. You would be working on behalf of terrorists or whatever, like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:46:33 Like, you can sit like, like, you're a fucking kid. Yeah, but it's like, they're obviously, you know, they're getting kids to do what they're doing. Like, I'm a blood, like, you're not fucking shit actually. Why don't you go down?
Starting point is 00:46:44 Why don't you get away from me? I think it's a little weird. Yeah, I think it's no terrorist. Looks like a kid. Guys got a fly tracksuit, though. Yeah. What was I doing? Yeah, cars driving a hundred, this is why it was,
Starting point is 00:47:00 this is why it annoyed me. 100 MPH. Oh yeah, here it is. Watch this, it's awesome. This car fucking launches. Look at that. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. Right here, right up here in the top.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Fee-yow! Wow, like die hard for. Here they come, oh, and they're $300,000 Bentley Hey, we should take this thing in the accelerator has been acting up Yeah I got fucking rocket Did it just to die so what we should die before the holidays though Got to look at the bright side. But at Vito comedy.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Yeah, Vito tweeted this. Vito tweeted this? Yeah, what do you mean? Vito didn't take this picture. No, no, no, no. But he's taught, he's, he's Vito's gloating because conservatives were gloating about it being a terrorist.
Starting point is 00:47:58 So he's not got Vito's turn to act like he's morally superior. Got it. Even though he's like, Yeah. The least contributing member of society in general. Okay, let me find this car manufacturing thing that I wanted to find. Don't read some comments. What happened to the guy?
Starting point is 00:48:16 Oh, they're dead. Oh, really? Fucking roll a million times. It's in time, isn't it? Oh, really? Oh, wow. That's why everyone thought it was a terrorism. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Car, manufacture, hers. Damn it. I don't know where this thing is now. Would you like to tell car manufacturers to put a limiter at 100 and make it a law? Oh. The transportation authority. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:43 And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Do it. There's no way you should be driving over 100 and the correct response is you have no right to do this kind of shit. Yeah, it's like you have none. You have no right to do this to us. We'll do it. If it's such a good idea, we'll do it. Yeah. And they do do it. Some my truck's limited. My truck was fucking limited. Yeah, there were, you know, a lot of cars, some cars that are not limited and Europe are limited here. Yeah, you know.
Starting point is 00:49:09 But it pisses me off when they try to make all this shit in because all I see is, well, one of those is gonna fuck up and then there's somebody's gonna launch their car off of a damn going 150 miles an hour because the circuit's broke down because all this shit fucking fails. So yeah, can you just stop meddling around in it for a little bit? Just a little bit
Starting point is 00:49:35 100 is still if you're driving You don't need to go over 100 but if you driving, but that's honestly like, that's not slow enough. If you want to, like, oh yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna limit people. Dude, like people like, yeah. Yeah. F-5.
Starting point is 00:49:54 My truck was limited to 85. Yeah. I hit it a couple times. Yeah, yeah. I was being reckless. Yeah, I still, that's the principle. A hundred principle of it. That's still way too fast.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Way too fast for like basically every driving condition Yeah, so why let them go triple digits at all. Yeah, like I mean if you're why let women drive because Because you won't get people on board if you say I might have to outrun a rapist I might have to yeah, Yeah. What if there's an atomic bomb? It's a good thing he's driving. There's 150 going on. 85. Here's a funny one. Yeah. See, have I covered everything? Did I do black people yet? Oh, yeah. I think so. A little bit of black. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:42 This was a funny one. I thought. Okay. Yeah, I think so. A little bit of black people. Yeah, this was a funny one I thought. Okay. Oh yeah, the blacks, the blacks in the Mexicans are squaring off in New York City. Oh no. Because they're running out of free money.
Starting point is 00:50:54 It's the, it's the age old, age old fucking fight. The road, the Autobots and the Decepticons. The shots. The jets. Shots and the jets. Scaring off. Because they're running out of money, they're running out of free money. Let's listen to this gripping news report from New York, because they did that sanctuary
Starting point is 00:51:14 city, right? Yeah. So, the Legals are coming in and taking all our hotel rooms and stuff. Yeah. Do you think immigration is retarded? Well, immigration, do you get just the way that it is? Or like it's having it at all? Like why the fuck are we letting this happen?
Starting point is 00:51:32 I don't think that's like, do you think it's gonna happen here? I mean, like every country, or I'm not every country, but I mean, most advanced countries do it to some extent, right? Some are much more difficult than others. I mean, yeah. I don't know. I mean, it is kind of how some countries get decent food, though.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I mean, that's if there's any reason we got, we got all the food that they have. Okay. Can we stop? We do know. We do know the food. Yeah. We don't need them. Hardworking, not hardworking, criminal is not criminals.
Starting point is 00:52:01 We don't need them anymore. Like, honestly, like, we really, I mean, we don't. Like, I mean, like, we're fucking pretty full. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of sparsely populated states. Yeah, we can say some fat women over there. I mean, holy shit, like we homestead. Yeah, we have a, you know, there's a lot to work on just here with what we haven't caught up with.
Starting point is 00:52:22 We have. We can play with the immigrants we have, okay? We don't need any new ones. Yeah, we have hard working immigrants that we have we could play with. We don't need to play with any more of them. And honestly, by like kind of letting them come here, you're like, you're letting them buy into a dream that's dead.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah, like it's fucking dead. Yes. Like that's not, you know, you heard stories about a company here. About your grandpa who came over like, you know, from Mexico didn't speak a word of English and now owns units properties in fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Santa Monica. It's like, that's a hard working guy. I'm gonna go shard a shoe factor. That ain't gonna happen for you. In LA, you need to go to China, bro. That's where the shoes are being made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no need for hard work of people here.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Exactly. Because you're fucking work hard here. Don't, but yeah, don't buy into it. You get more bang for your buck somewhere else. For real. You see that, you see that Argentinim elected like the super libertarian as president? No.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Oh, dude, this is, this is fucking awesome. No, let's see this one first, then I'll play the, Millay, he's like a former like sex guru. Really? Super libertarian. Not as much as me, but he's out there. He said for an elected official. Yeah, he said, I'm doing away with Central Bank.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah. And he went, can you do that? Or is that like one of those campaign promises? You know what I mean? Like how you just like, well, don't be, you might get JFK. I mean, we'll see. And then he's going through all the like departments of shit campaign promises. You know what I mean? Like how you just like, well, don't you might get JFK. I mean, we'll see. And then he's going through all the like departments of shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:49 I'll play the video. He goes through all the government things and goes, off, wait, off, wait, off, wait, off, wait, oh my god. Yes. Can you do anything about our TSA?
Starting point is 00:53:59 I don't know. Some kind of a, you can try. Yeah. God, would that be great? Wouldn't it? A future we didn't have to deal with them. Yeah. God, would that be great? Wouldn't it? A future we didn't have to deal with them. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Checking your asshole every time you go in there. Okay, here. Look inside you. A wonderful place. A wonderful place. The means between NYTHA tenants and newly arrived migrants. Potensions are growing with not enough food to go around. So why do we have to take the butt of everything?
Starting point is 00:54:23 Okay. This community here is already suffering the residents living in night As Queens bridge houses look for the mobile food pantries that show up weekly But over the past year they have witnessed 8,000 migrants move into their neighborhood And they've also noticed the migrants are also starting to take their stuff They was first on line, but it's just morning. They was first online for the third time. Yeah, they just wanted. They tell you.
Starting point is 00:54:47 They're first in line. What do I have to get up before the people in Mexicans get free food? Because that's not happening. Oh, boy. This is just, it's untotally unacceptable. Oh, boy. They were first in line.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Before the sun was even up. How did they even know to get out there before that time? How did they know where the free food would be? You can be there at 11 o'clock. You can get there at like 10.30, 10.45. Oh my god, she's saying it's okay. Yeah. It was first online for the terpies this morning.
Starting point is 00:55:18 They tell you to be there at 11 o'clock. You can get there at like 10.30, 10.45. They're telling already out there the line is from over there to over here. Free food giveaways, especially during the holidays, have become a source of tension between longtime New Yorkers struggling to get by and newly arrived migrants who are using the system to survive. A month ago, one altercation got so heated between a resident and a migrant, someone ended up in the hospital. We would never turn anyone away for a meal, but there simply just is not enough for both
Starting point is 00:55:50 natural residents and the migrant shelter residents. Councilmember Julie White said she alerted the mayor to the growing tension in her community and was able to get $50,000 to increase the number of hot meals served inside niches. But she's concerned the mayor's new budget cuts will only put further stress on the community already living in scarcity. People are going hungry right
Starting point is 00:56:12 now. People are frustrated. But not having enough to eat, not having heat and hot water in their shelters or in their houses in Nightshs. And people want to make sure that they just have their basic needs
Starting point is 00:56:24 met like any human would anywhere. And that's what's causing the tension. And we're going to see what happens tomorrow. That's when the race family and council member want to play. See the problem is we're just running out of other people's money. Uh, to give these guys. And one side figured out that you got to get up early. Yeah. To line up for free food.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Yeah. I don't know what we're supposed to do about that. All right. Let's see. Fruit loops has gone woke. Oh shit, fruit loops. Oh, maybe I'll just read the. Maybe I'll just read some comments. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Look what fruit loops is doing. Uh, you can buy the box and get a free digital library with... Wait, wait, wait, what, free digital library? You mean, go to a website. No, but what's a digital, like, books, a digital library? Yeah, it's just like a PDF. What's the, what's the, see the free with a little, the little cross? That's a odd way to put an ask. Yeah, but what does it mean?
Starting point is 00:57:27 Where does it go? I don't know. Oh, with the purchase of specialty. So it's the legal, okay. Serial. Internet access required. Content is suitable for age 13 plus. Visit FruitLoopSlashEDI.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Yeah. Well, your friend would have learned how incredibly colorful and diverse the world can be with our ED make through the family. Yeah, isn't that yeah, if you had to make a serial gay, I would not pick fruit loops like that's as gay as it could be they added colors like from the member it was orange when we were kids, it was orange lemon and cherry. That was it. Yeah, then they added rainbow gay colors.
Starting point is 00:58:01 They added more. Yeah. And they say, they changed the colors of his beak too. Like that, because it used to just represent what the colors of the cereal looks like. Now it looks like a rainbow party. Yeah. That's like a marketing genius walked into that meeting. It's like, we got a gay up to cereal. Which one should we do?
Starting point is 00:58:20 And he's like Don Draper's like, you know, everyone's like going around like, I'll take Rice Krispies. Right. Dress, knock, gay at all. I'll take Cheerios. I could gay, I'm gonna gay the shit up of Cheerios, right? Make that, turn his stinger into a butt plug.
Starting point is 00:58:36 All kinds of gay stuff. And then Don Draper comes up, he's like, you wanna make a cereal gay? Yeah. Give me fruit loops. That's impossible. Fruit loops says gay as a kid. Fruit loops. Just give me Yeah. Give me fruit loops. That's impossible. Fruit loops says gay as a kid. Fruit loops.
Starting point is 00:58:45 Just give me a, give me five minutes. Yeah. All right. Yeah, good. Affweta! You wanna see that video? Yeah, sure. Offweta.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Yeah. Here we go. You give me five minutes. I'll make the old fruit loops look straight. Oh, did I get it wrong? Oh, no. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Yeah. Here we go. His hair is awesome. Dude, he looks so awesome. Is that a fucking wig. I don't think so. Really, I hope it's hot. And his first lady is his sister,
Starting point is 00:59:30 because out of disrespect to his girlfriends, he said, this guy's a minister. Like you date a lot of women, who's gonna be your first lady. He's like my sister, fuck, hose. It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Here we go. He's going to be a portrait. Here we go. And then we go to the port, afuera.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Minister of culture, afuera. So he's going through and reading the ministry and whatever division of the government and ripping it off. Just fucking straight to Auschwitz. Money sinkhole, yeah. Fucking gone, gone, gone. Minister of development and development, afuera.
Starting point is 01:00:04 What are, Minister of women'serible. Afuera. Wetter. Ministerio de las mujeres y género y diversidad. Afuera. Ministerio de obra cóntica. Afuera. Aunque te resistas. Ministerio de Ciencia y Tecnología y Innovación.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Afuera. Ministerio de Tamacom, ¿qué es su ligación? Afuera. En octubre. Adopinamiento. Afuera. Ministerio de Taforte. Afuera. Ministerio de Salud. Ajuela. Ministerio Salud.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Ajuela. Ministerio Desarrollo Social. Ajuela. He's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who Some people are complaining, he's pro-Israel. Like, you guys, come on. Maybe you just got to complain about fucking perfect. Jesus. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha minutes every single day because either my car is covered in snow. Some dick had his cause in accident or lanes are blocked off by God's cold semen. As a California boy, the part where we rightly hate the Dodgers, I was not raised for this shit. Oh, he's from California. The worst part about all this was I release my barbaric yap of anger as I is as I
Starting point is 01:01:20 release my my my hot Jewish fiancee, two stirs from her slumber. She looks out the window and with joy and sparkles in her eyes, says, Oive, it's all worse, list all of the activities she wants to participate in. Now that the snow is here. Oh, yeah. Okay. So she, she got to call him us for that. So they came out from, she's from California, too, maybe so the snow is, the snow is, the snow is, you know, it's novel. There's a special team that you can find to take care of this problem. They only, if you can find them, right? Yeah, right by a Palestinian court. They
Starting point is 01:01:54 probably escaped into the Los Angeles underground to this day. Still one of the government. They survived of soldiers of fortune. Come on. If you have problems, winter time, my wife who I'm most can help wants to do all this problem, it's winter time. Why? Why else can help? Wants to do all this shit, winter wonderland shit. Now the snow's here, sledding, hot cocoa, look driving around in the snow, and ice looking at Christmas lights. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:14 She's Jewish, do you think you could help? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, Missin' BA. Then they come in on their, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. Yep. Where's part of this? Oh yeah, she looks out the window, wants to do all this shit. Oh, Iunt, tunt, tunt, tunt. Yep. Worst part of this? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:25 She looks out the window and wants to do all this shit. Oh, I want, when I return from work, is to toss back a stout to warm my insides. Okay. And pass out on the couch watching old compilations of the super best friends. But now, now I'm gonna be recruited into some cold outdoor activities.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Yeah. I should have never asked about her shoes, nor her dad, go fuck yourself today. Oh boy. Yeah. It's not all it's cracked up to be fellas. You know what? She's probably gonna hate it.
Starting point is 01:02:52 She's doing a couple of things. It's like it's fucking cold. I hate this. Like I fell down twice. Oh no, they love it. Like I don't know. Like, yeah, they love that shit. I think the novelty will wear off.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Tall goose, you can read this on the show if you want. I was looking for the biggest problem. You mentioned having tonight is hilarious sucks, whatever hilarious. Fuck you. So a couple of days later I go to Metallica, it's a two day event. Oh wow. That's Sunday, halfway through the show,
Starting point is 01:03:20 I keep having you bringing it up in the back of my head. The show is over. I get how brilliant you are. I'm ruining you. I keep having you bringing it up in the back of my head. The show is over. I get home running. Yeah. The show is ringing. This isn't anything new. It happens. It goes away in a day like normal, right?
Starting point is 01:03:31 Well, it's been about two weeks now. I still have the ringing in my ears. It isn't horrible and only noticeable when there's no white noise. I truly believe through some weird Mexican autistic curse that you bringing this up caused me to now get it. Fucking tonight is. Go fuck yourself, smooches for showing it. Oh boy.
Starting point is 01:03:46 He has to grow next to me. It was five one cans as perky as a car's hubcaps. And as big as two honey dew dancing and bouncing around on a corset, that doesn't sound good. It looked like snow white except more fuckable. Oh wow. Cans as perky as a car's hubcaps. Perky as a car.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Those known for being perky? Because they're, are they like Ben Hurr, are they pointed out? That's what I mean. Like I'm thinking about like flat. Like hubcaps generally, yeah. I mean, they're not perky. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Maybe he drives a different kind of car. Yeah, what would you describe as perky? Like some sort of a living thing? Yeah, not a solid metal or plastic. Right. Does he mean like perky is... I mean, they'd be like firm. Like I mean, like a higher would be...
Starting point is 01:04:37 Higher would be more firm. Yeah, but a hubcap I would have, you know, is firm, right? I mean, I guess so. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's an interesting way to describe it. Those girls shaking around will forever be the good part of the constant ringing I now live with. Okay, so there was good.
Starting point is 01:04:50 I mean, must have, Karp, Perky has a hubcaps must be good. Yeah, maybe he's just, you know, I don't know how old he is, but, you know, sadly. Jay for the show. Only fans model goes viral claiming she makes her man nut six, seven times a day. The only fans marketing is really, it's too much now.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Yeah. It's just gotten, it's gotten to be oppressive where they say these ass and nine things like just built to be talked about on Twitter and I'm doing it now, but only fans model goes mega mega viral. Wow. claiming she makes her man nut at least I just don't all I see is you know poor spools shit. Yeah, yeah, shit. What does she look like? Oh, this is what she only
Starting point is 01:05:40 model Victoria Banks went negative. I the eyes. Commenting on, I can't move my mouth. I'm stuck. No, fuck off. Um, okay, I don't believe you. Uh-huh. Honky bullshit from Stephen Martz. Here's a rage for you. YouTube thumbnails.
Starting point is 01:06:01 I have to see one more picture of a person looking at, like, the cops just walked in on them getting a blowjob from a child's ghost. I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I see that stupid wide eyed mouth, gaped mouth expression. My first thought is always, okay, what did you sit on and how far up your ass did it go? YouTube thumbnails should be all tits, should be tits, all tits, and only tits. Got it. You ever seen those thumbnails that they do?
Starting point is 01:06:24 Uh, like that they do? Like that. Women? Guys. Oh, you mean just like every guy has a thumbnail. Oh. Oh. Like, look at what's behind me. Like that guy.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Huh. Who is that black guy from like the 30s who's like, whoa. Or now it's like the 80s too. Where you go, whoa in commercials. Whoa. His eyeballs would like come go. Whoa, in commercials. Whoa. His eyeballs would like come out. Whoa. That guy.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Well, you know, I remember you guys who can, you know, there's a woman too. Okay, there's a black woman who can push her eyes at like bugger eyes. Dude, that's so disturbing to me. Eyeballs. That is like not. Dang it.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Where is it? Videos. This guy. Remember this guy in the comments? Oh my god, yeah. God, dude, that's so fucking, that is so creepy. Is he gonna clear eyes commercial? No, that's, that's Ben's time.
Starting point is 01:07:16 I don't think so. This is exciting news from CLR. Why don't you go fucking wow. You have Ben's time. Hmm. Uh, damn dude, that shit, that shit is fucking, eh! I think I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed,
Starting point is 01:07:27 I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed,
Starting point is 01:07:35 I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed,
Starting point is 01:07:43 I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go back to bed, I'm gonna have to go bad at one point. Your high's coming out. Like something, it's, yeah, there's, they do that now. There's a reason like barely anyone can do that. Yeah. You know, like that's, that would be a, that would be bad, you know, in evolution. I'm pretty sure, like that's,
Starting point is 01:07:59 I agree. Something, something can happen there that isn't good for your long-term site. He probably does that when he comes to this wife. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's like having a good one. Shooting his eyeballs out. Oh, fucking stop it.
Starting point is 01:08:14 It's fucking scare the shit out of somebody. Oilfield trash says, is being a male porn star really based though? Hey, Dick and Sean, call me Robert from Rochester. is being a male porn star really based though? Hey, Dick and Sean, call me Robert from Rochester. Robert from Rochester. So recently you talked about the Adam 22 birthday party. Just don't start sentences with so. Recently you talked about the Adam 22 birthday party.
Starting point is 01:08:39 See how much better it is? Yeah, I know. Recently you did check a fight. Hmm. Recently you talked did check a flight. Hmm. Recently, you talked about the Adam 22 birthday party and how you have wasted your life not getting into porn. Well, it wasn't specifically not getting into porn. It was just an overall sense of having wasted
Starting point is 01:08:57 by having made bad decisions. By being a guest at the party, hosting the party was the only observation. And the only thing that I have control of is my decision. So anyone that I made that was not in. Certainly to that. Yeah, exactly was over the past year. Bad mistake.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Over the past year, I met a local porn star born here on the East Coast, but moved to the West Coast to do porn in the 2000s. Sure. Sure. She's currently in her mid 40s, blonde with big fake tits. Yeah. 34 double D. Nice, right? No.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Okay. 40. I mean, Madden. If she's, what, he does, does he give a name? No. Hi. Do you know who this is? No, because like, that's, we know.
Starting point is 01:09:45 I give a porn star on the world. No, but if they're like a porn star, then like the name should be, nobody should be embarrassed to give a, like, so because we need to, we need to see this. Yes, we need to, so we know,
Starting point is 01:09:58 so we know who we're talking about. More cock blocking from the question askers like usual. The short of it is she splits her year here and in out west doing mainstream porn and self-paid shoots there in her own only fan content around the globe. We met once locally at a nice hotel and hooked up, but she didn't film anything after all. Uh-huh. Wait, he was hoping that she would film her thinking to give me more details than this.
Starting point is 01:10:30 We hooked up, but she ended up not filming after all. Yeah, right. What do you mean after all? Did you guys talk about it? Like, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you know, I'm gonna film it. Yeah. And then like, ah, you know what, I'm not going to. Let me see your dick.
Starting point is 01:10:45 I changed my mind. Yeah. She's now offering me to be a regular on her only fans in exchange for me to then share the content she films with me on my own page and then have to sell myself. That sounds like a scam. You just something that, yeah, that doesn't, does he have fun? You got to film it and you got to make it only fans and you got to promote. That sounds like a scam. Yeah, that doesn't seem like a fun.
Starting point is 01:11:05 You got to film it and you got to make it only fans and you got to promote. Or does he have like a... Actually, that sounds like a marriage. You're describing. I'll fuck you, but then you have to provide for me. Oh, wait a minute. No money, just an exchange of content. Okay, yeah, that's okay.
Starting point is 01:11:29 Do I do it and try and sell it myself? Why the fuck would anyone subscribe to a, this is a man, right? Robert, yeah. Why the fuck would anyone subscribe to a man's only fans? I don't know. They're not subscribing for the content. It's the parasocial relationship part.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It's the DMing sending them DMs, hoping that they'll read them. God, I'm gonna get a response from an Indian guy. Great. And you're paid. Do I do it just to fuck porn stars? Like the 16 year old me would do? Well, do what you think is best. Should I just try and fuck her more
Starting point is 01:12:08 for fun outside of porn or do I bail completely? Well, you should do it. See how many of these girls you can rope into this lifestyle you've got cooked up here on only fans uh... go fuck yourself smooches shine also belly rubbing your scratches for the uh... dog yeah well i don't how old are you for well it probably not a whole lot older than is trying to under you think he's 40 asking this question i think he's i think he might be 19 or 20,
Starting point is 01:12:47 or early 20s or something. You gotta watch it doing anything a girl in her mid 40s wants you to do. That's not gonna go well for you. Yeah, that's, you're not within five years of her. Good advice. You better fucking watch it, buddy. It's good advice.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Run this by a girl your own age. She's been figuring stuff out a long time. Uh-huh. Been around the block. You're just a set of numbers. Okay, here's a, I got a voicemail that Chris the Kiwi sent. Maybe we can listen to that at the end. Sure. Chris Primers is the mining and Panama.
Starting point is 01:13:24 The problems in Panama might be related to the mining industry. There's a huge copper mine that's required an infrastructure project that has rivaled or exceeded the Panama Canal. It's supposed to be 1.5% of the total global production for copper. Now, billions have been spent.
Starting point is 01:13:37 The people want more money. Okay, so there's still blocking a road. So I don't care. Oh, God, oh, this was a real block thing. I got it, got it. Just don't block the road. No, that's, it's all you had to do.. So I don't care. Oh, God, oh, this was a real block. I got it, got it. Just don't block the road. No, that's, it's all you had to do. Yeah, good billboard.
Starting point is 01:13:49 You don't have to block the road. Block a, did you see some people block the Thanksgiving parade? Now this, whoo, it's a real not stand man. This is, I fully support. Yeah, you block black you block traffic Instant death. Oh block of parade. I get it you get a medal, you know I Have been invited like a number of times over the years to hey
Starting point is 01:14:14 We're gonna go down the night before and like see the Rose parade and I'm like before they even before they even get Rose Parade out I hear go down the night before I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I didn't want to do it when I was 18. I don't want to do it in my fridge. I don't want to do it when I lived on the parade route. What the, yeah, yeah, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:33 I know, you live right over there. That's right. Yeah, have no interest. If somebody in the house happens to put the rose parade on, which has been done. Oh, you know, over the years. Yeah. I, you know, it always, my, the only thing that I like about it is it's sometimes the floats break down.
Starting point is 01:14:52 And it's fucking funny to see, to see smoke from the engine coming out from under the thing and everybody fucking stops. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, here it was. Propalistine briefly blocked Macy's day thanksgiving parade by gluing their hands to the ground. So in New York, this is the big parade.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Yeah. So many people are sending me this like, oh, see you're fucking precious, you're a precious Palestine is, we're doing the same thing. And I said, uh, uh, but that is a, in itself, a roadblock. Yeah. So actually, right by the transit of property, Vuno, reversey, this is actually a reactive heroism what you're seeing here.
Starting point is 01:15:30 That's already blocked. You can't block a roadblock, can you? Right. Yeah. What's a road that's blocked is going to be more blocked? Was traffic impeded? Well, no. Yeah. Well, then maybe the parade gets over later. Nah.
Starting point is 01:15:48 That's a speed it up just a half a mile. Yeah, I'll be right back. They could drive faster. Jacob Herbert, cheating wives, responding to last week. Hey, Dick and Sean, I'm writing a response to the segment about that angry guy who has clearly been cheated on by his wife. Who's email you read last week in the show, you mentioned offhand that somewhere
Starting point is 01:16:05 there must be a couple who stayed together after the wife goes and fucks another guy. And it just so happens that I live with such a couple. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. I'm sure it happens. Yeah, we all rent a house together and their self-destructive behavior
Starting point is 01:16:18 and constant fighting has been a great source of entertainment for me. Entire time, I've lived here. You know, you're looking at it the right way. Just over a year ago, she got caught cheating with another married guy. Then the wife of that dude saw their Snapchat conversation and rage emailed her entire family. And husband calling her slut. She also sent screenshots of their conversations.
Starting point is 01:16:43 That was probably harder back in the day. Oh, these are wife's cheating horror, huh? I'm gonna craft a little, let me get my... She also sent screenshots of their conversations. That was probably harder back in the day. Oh, these are wife's cheating horror, huh? I'm gonna craft a little, let me get my quill out. Dear everyone's fucking family, right? Right, this trial up has fixed me. Greatly, this is. Troll up.
Starting point is 01:16:59 She also sent screenshots of their conversations and some spicy photos they had shared. Cool, it's proof of their infidelity. Then send the guys lost 80 pounds cut back on his drinking a bit and has stopped being a completely insufferable asshole in general. She's gained 15 pounds. They fight less and seem to be mending whatever issues they have in small steps. Being the great friend that I am, me and our mutual friends have a bet going to see how
Starting point is 01:17:22 long before one snaps and the marriage goes down. I partially blame myself for them staying together so long. I cook and do most of the chores around the house and keep the chick entertained when he doesn't feel like constantly validating her. So this guy has like an ant farm, got a people, right? Like pets.
Starting point is 01:17:37 That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta look for the, you know, you get your entertainment where you can. Yeah, some people are done like fantasy football. He just does like fantasy marriage. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:51 He's got a net farm. That's good. I even had a small heart to heart with the dude when the cheating happened. I told him that the time I got cheated on and told him to man up and make a decision about whether or not he actually cared that much about keeping the marriage together. I guess he made the one that he felt was the best option. I didn't mention him that she got me to move in and help me with the rent by coming over to my old place
Starting point is 01:18:09 once a week and helping me test out my mattress. No, shit. Why would you move into that situation? Yeah. You moved in with your whore and you're paying her and she's fucking you, prostitute. Mm. And you moved in with her and her husband?
Starting point is 01:18:30 What a, okay, go fuck yourself, Dick, smooches for Sean. If you get murdered, that's on you. This is a prime murdering story. Yeah, it's all fun and game, so the ants break out. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Uh, it's all fun and games till the ants break out. Yeah. Then you fucking got him everywhere and you don't know where they're going to bite you. There's ants in my bed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Um, still harassing news reporters, up in Canada, steel cat. Okay. Okay. Oh my God. Why? Why? Why?
Starting point is 01:19:03 Why? Uh, bricks, no back. What time is it? Oh, 30 shit. Bricks, why, why, why? Bricks Novak. What time is it? Already shit. Bricks Novak. Happy Thanksgiving. Hey, great advice last week with your brilliant idea of getting Chris the Kiwi involved
Starting point is 01:19:13 to help that autistic stove get laid. He can only benefit from seeking the advice of a known professional like Chris to navigate those murky waters of legalized prostitution. Yeah, I gotta, let me see if Chris the Kiwi has written me back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go. He sent me a picture of his dick here.
Starting point is 01:19:38 That's, you wanna see it? No. Oh, I gotta show it. He's, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's Look at what he sends me. Look at what Chris the Kiwi sends me. Scrodums. Fuck is he.
Starting point is 01:19:52 Oh, he's talking about Chris the Kiwi has sent me. So he goes on like people's eulogy posts, like this woman has said, today I said goodbye to my beautiful, let me put it up. Today I said goodbye to my beautiful mum, caring for her was a privilege, and I feel blessed I got to tell her and show her how much I appreciated and loved her, I sat with her at night after night in the hospital, and I'm so glad I did
Starting point is 01:20:17 because I was able to hold her hand and talk to her as she passed. Okay. What did Christa Kiwi have to say here? God. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 01:20:30 Ah! Did she die of AIDS from you, he says? Law. Law. Ah. Ah. Why does he have access to this page? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:20:47 Why does he have access to outside his house? He's not supposed to be on the internet, right? Or did that pass? I think he got away with it. They probably just said we can't control him. Oh my God, okay. There's a familiar face. Oh boy. This is something that a horse and a prostitute. No, I can see. You can tell, right? Yeah. This isn't really his
Starting point is 01:21:13 ammo. To write that much. No, it's no, he, they're DNA says that we can't do that. Okay, let me maybe I'll read it then. This is what the horror sent him. Oh no, she sent a bunch. Oh wow. God, he makes people go crazy. Yeah, he really does, doesn't he? Oh yeah, he's, that's a gross picture. Yeah, yeah, he's that's a that's a gross picture. Yeah, yeah, surgery picture.
Starting point is 01:21:48 Text a horse and he says, okay, how long has it been since I've messaged you apart from replying to you tonight? What do I say when I usually reply to you? Why do you always seem to find me no matter where I go? What number I changed my phone number to? You're the first person to find it text text me, and text me. You're always the same person that can reach me when no one else can. You're also someone who's been reported numerous times to the police for stalking women, harassing them,
Starting point is 01:22:14 and also for cyber crime. So you poor little fucker. Listen to me, I think it's time you stop fucking around with computers, but you can't fuck women. So you fuck them over. It's no punctuation at all in here. It's about time we did meet, but this time it won't be through a computer screen
Starting point is 01:22:29 or a listening device or whatever the fuck else you use to fuck with people's lives. I look forward to meeting you. I've fantasized about it for a long time. I've been waiting Chris over nine months. It's a long time. I'm patient, I'm patient, but my patient has worn thin, especially when it comes to tonight, like tonight. So hear me when I say it's time if you would like
Starting point is 01:22:50 to meet me yourself, I invite you to do so. If there's anyone else who feels the need to come, I suggest they grow some fucking balls and discuss, oh my God, it's like skitso. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah's, yeah, none of it's funny. The rest of it is though, it's stuff usually. Oh, he's commenting on Chrissy mayor. Okay. Hey, Tampa, Florida, come see me on Sunday, December 3rd. There you go.
Starting point is 01:23:20 Chrissy's got a show next week. Okay. Go see it if you're in Tampa. And Chris, the Kiwi says, she's a comedian because people laugh at her not with her. Big, day. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:33 That's enough from you. Here we go. Yeah. He can only benefit from, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I apologize for not being able to send this sooner, but a happy Thanksgiving to both you and Sean. What a great time of year Thanksgiving is. Friends and family all gathered around
Starting point is 01:23:50 to celebrate and give thanks for the many things we are thankful for. It's this time of year, I'm always reminded of when I was young, working as a non-retarded person at a thrift store that is known for hiring the handicap for outward appearances. It was the day after Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 01:24:05 I was working there as a cashier. It was a typical shitty high school job, but to me, it was a better option than flipping burgers. And all honestly, being the dumb high school kid that I was, I thought it would provide me with some extra cash to blow on shit I didn't need. The only thing it did provide me with was depression and an absolute disdain for menial tasks.
Starting point is 01:24:24 I was busy doing nothing when adain for menial tasks. I was busy doing nothing when a guest came up to the register. She said that there was some kind of problem in one of the changing rooms. Oh no. We left the store. Uh oh. Why is your man would have ignored her
Starting point is 01:24:35 or delegated the tasks to someone else? I, however, couldn't help myself. He's got a clean up shit. When I was, whether it was out of boredom or sheer curiosity, I had to investigate. This kind of remark usually just led to a large pile of clothes on the floor, finding that someone locked the door from inside
Starting point is 01:24:50 and slid out underneath the door as a prank. As I drew closer, the unmistakable odor if you mean feces over too. Yeah. Later in my call that day, if I, he was a kid. He didn't know, like you do. Later in life, I would come to learn this smell as the kind that is emitted from a person
Starting point is 01:25:07 who has contracted C-diff or a post mortem poo. I don't know what C-diff is. Which occurs when a recently deceased individual just finked her muscles, eventually relaxes and spills out the remaining contents of their colon. Right. So he's just joking there. Fucking die.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Die it in there? I don't know. Maybe, he's just joking there. Fucking die. Die it in there? I don't know. Maybe, he's saying it smells different, or maybe he's shit from a dead person smells different than regular shit. I don't know. Maybe he became a medical professional over the years. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:37 This was a very different breed of stank altogether, a pungent aroma that is just not possible from even the worst bowel movement, a normal person could muster. I grabbed a leather cowboy boot off of a nearby shoe rack. It seemed like a good idea at the time to use a makeshift breathing apparatus, like a plague doctor.
Starting point is 01:26:00 So he took it instead of like grabbing you like some clothes or something, he took a, someone's shoe, he took a cowboy of like grabbing you like some clothes or something he took off someone's shoe He took a cowboy boot boot Breathing up her head is fucking foot in it for 30 years. Yeah, how hell is wrong? Yeah, it's a thrift store. Yeah That would be an improvement My god, he's smelling shit with leather thrown on the top. Okay, so that's two bad decisions so far
Starting point is 01:26:24 From moving from the register if I became overwhelmed with nausea like a rolling shit with leather thrown on the top. Okay, so that's two bad decisions so far. From moving from the register. Or if I became overwhelmed with nausea, like a doctor from the 60s, putting some vapor rub or something under your nose. Yeah. From Al the Hyde. In hindsight, maybe I wasn't as non-retarded
Starting point is 01:26:40 as I originally thought. No, that's retarded. Well, that's what he's saying. In hindsight, he's not as non-retarded as you originally thought. No, that's retarded. Well, that's what he's saying. In hindsight, he's not as non-retarded as you were. Oh, yeah. When I finally mustered the courage to open the door, it looked like someone had put their finger over their anus and blasted whatever foul substance was.
Starting point is 01:26:57 I mean, so it's plastering their balls all over the wall. Like a spish. Jackson Pollock. Oh, my. My masterpiece. My senses were overloaded. Visually it was too much to process and take in all it wants.
Starting point is 01:27:10 There was one thing I observed that day that was haunted me through the years about this. So was there a dead body? I guess not. No, what was all that shit about the colon then? Well, he's just saying that's, he was trying to, maybe that's how bad it was. And maybe he's a medical person now who maybe,
Starting point is 01:27:26 that someone should have doubted, or not. There's one thing I observed that day that has haunted me throughout the years about the gasoline site. Once I had comprehended what had happened to the walls, my eyes were slowly drawn up where the white ribbon of toilet paper, about four or five inches long was delicately
Starting point is 01:27:39 and gently flapping down. Attached to it was a big pile of shit, hanging like a hornet's nest from the ceiling. What? This wasn't some unfortunate accident. It was intentional. Something shitting through it. Something shitting through it.
Starting point is 01:27:51 Oh, wow. Gross. Wow. Now there's no way, and hell, I was gonna clean that up. I told the manager, they tasked one of the people in the back room to handle it. The back room was where they hide the disabled and handing, oh, no.
Starting point is 01:28:07 Handicap people who work there. I don't know for a fact if they volunteered or if they were specifically chosen because they were essentially mute and couldn't say no, but from the back room to arm, only with a mob came Henry. Oh, Henry. Not mom.
Starting point is 01:28:23 Henry's. Henry, look. Henry was done dirty. Henry needs some kind of fucking. Henry looked like Mario from Super Mario Brothers. If Mario was six, four, two hundred and fifty pounds with a heavy case of Down syndrome. Oh, this is terrible Christmas story. Yeah, this is not.
Starting point is 01:28:39 And wore a rainbow suspenders to keep his pants from falling down constantly. She had a shoe lift on one side because his legs weren't equal. When he walked, his shoe would clump on the ground so badly. You could hear him coming a mile away. Or maybe it was a secret device they put on him to the guitar he was. Anyway, here he could tell like a bell on a cat. Or it's like, I pushed you.
Starting point is 01:29:01 We lost another retarded person, put some clomper's on him. Some tap shoes on him. What's, is there something? Does he have a condition? It's like he has mom was part draft horse. Anyway, Henry slipped and fell in the shit. Oh no. Then he went down, he went down hard,
Starting point is 01:29:21 either from losing his balance. 250. Dude, he's slickness of... He's a big dude. That's spread on the floor. Oh man. The hornet's nest of poop that finally gave way and startled him. After falling and returning to his feet Henry went into a shit covered rage.
Starting point is 01:29:37 Started tearing up the store. Good. Yeah, good. Good. I decided I'd had enough for the day. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I decided I'd had had enough for the day. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm clocking out. Oh, man, Henry, that'll break anyone.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Turn into a big deal of legal threats and cover ups because an obviously mentally handicapped person was tasked with cleaning up, falling in and becoming contaminated with a known biohazard. Oh, shit really does not like when that happens. Regardless, everything's giving, I take a moment to think of Henry and how thankful I was. Not even have to clean up that horror show. It sounds like he did neither.
Starting point is 01:30:16 If he started destroying the store. Ha ha ha ha ha. Right, he probably took a short day too. Should I have one of the retarded guys clean up all that shit? I don't know, would you want one of those recharge guys? They have a bucket full of shit? Not really.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Well, I don't fuck. Perhaps then, no. If you will excuse me, I must return to my research. Happy Thanksgiving, regards brick Novak. Well, thank you very much. That was a fucking disgusting brick Novak. Well, thank you very much. That was a fucking disgusting brick Novak. Yeah. All I'm picturing, I'm picturing like, you know,
Starting point is 01:30:53 like 6'4'2'50, I'm picturing this bit, I'm picturing Michael Clark Duncan from Green Mile having to go get a great bus, spenders. With like a yeah. Not even shoes. Right. Fucking slipping and shit and then going into a complete rage. Taring doors off dressing rooms.
Starting point is 01:31:11 Fuckin' wing and cowboy boots into the storefront windows. Did he have a mustache? Then he said he looked like Mario. Oh yeah, he did. So he had a mustache. He did. He got shit on his mustache. Yeah, and that changes my, that changes my mental picture.
Starting point is 01:31:25 It's not as funny now. Ah, well maybe it's, maybe it's funnier. I don't know. Good story. Yeah, that's, that you'll see work in retail, I guess, huh? Advice about X's and crosswords from Jeff, hey, I travel for work. And recently an X girlfriend. Did crosswords and fuck your ex, did ya?
Starting point is 01:31:46 Or you asking if it's a good idea. You should've do a bunch of Coke and fuck my ex-girlfriend. Oh, gee, I don't know. What do you think? I travel work and recently an ex-girlfriend hit me up while I'm working, asking if I wanna do Crosswords with her, C-Cups and her best friend upon my arrival home in a month, we're all 20.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Is this an easy ticket to a threesome? You need to order yourself some blue shoes immediately. And do not, because that's what's gonna happen. Cause that Coke will turn your dick into a fucking nipple. Yeah. Do not do the young guy thing. I was on Danny Polish Chuck's show, where people call in and they have stupid problems.
Starting point is 01:32:30 They ask for funny advice. This guy called in saying he was a virgin and super religious. So you've never done anything with this girlfriend, but they're getting married in like next month and they're going to live together and what's my advice on living together with a woman? Like why there's none. Like just tune it out, learn how to tune it out. There's a frequency that women speak in that you can train yourself to tune out
Starting point is 01:32:56 like a role-doll character, right? We'll take you years to do, but start today. There's no rush, so take you the rest of your life to tune it out completely. And then you die. Cause you're so happy. But the real advice is for the wedding night, if you've never done anything, get a fucking blue shoe.
Starting point is 01:33:12 And he's like, well, I'm not worried about that. Like, okay, nobody ever was worried about it. Nobody, nobody said, oh, limp cock, exactly as I was expecting. Right. I knew, I knew what would happen. Yeah, nobody ever said that right They all said not gonna be a problem. Yeah, not gonna be a problem for fucking me because guess what you're 20 But you might have some nerves. I'm not calling you for advice shit brain. You are calling me
Starting point is 01:33:37 So do what I'm saying to do put the order in fucking now. Yeah, take it no matter what You know, they all better to have it and not need it. Yeah, it's better to have a hard cock and not need it. Mm-hmm. Do that. And let me know how it goes. Let me know how fat they were that you haven't seen in how long.
Starting point is 01:33:56 Uh, because I'm sure one of them, the best friend is probably two best friends. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Was that a different letter? Then what? That was a different guy I was talking about. Yeah, okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:34:12 The same advice. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's do some, let's do Fat Watching. All right, two samples. Fat watching. Today in Matt News. Oh. Let's see here. Too fat for your jeans?
Starting point is 01:34:32 Why not ruin them? This is from, I didn't write it down. Oh, it's got, maybe I tried to do that one. I remember that, I think. Really? And it got ruined. Yeah. Here is, BMI is outdated.
Starting point is 01:34:49 Oh, it's fun. I was just talking about, I was like, is BMI how they do it now? You know, it's, well, is BMI outdated? This fat lady seems to think so. So, yeah. Doctors told me my BMI is 33%. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:04 Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's not how that, she being 33? Yeah, that's not how that works. Let me see. What's BMI? BMI scale for women. Does he take calipers and like pinch her arm
Starting point is 01:35:22 and like it's like, that's how they do body fat. It's not BMI. That's, like she's, she's saying it's like a body fat percentage. That's not what BMI is, right? I don't think so. No, no, no, it's body mass index. Like so it's, yeah, I thought it was just, yeah, it's their number. No, they are, they're numbers, right.
Starting point is 01:35:40 So she, oh, she fucked up. So she added the percentage. Okay, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Why didn't I get that? So she is a 33 is obese. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:53 30 is obese. Sure. Overweight is 25 to overweight is anything under 30. Yeah. Docs told me my BMI is 33% and I'm obese. Oh, so does this little symbol? I don't know. I said, Doc, the BMI is so outdated.
Starting point is 01:36:11 Oh, yeah, here we go. Yeah, here we go. She's gonna learn the doctor something. I said, Doc, the BMI is so outdated. It's first game on early 1900s, when everyone was in the depression and undernourished. Is that their story? Is that the story they're telling themselves? Jesus Christ. Here's the next singer. Look, BMI came out during the great depression when nobody
Starting point is 01:36:36 was eating. Yeah. And they were just obsessed with how fat they were. Right. So now when we have abundance, sure, uh, that was never a hell fat. Basically, I'm Polynesian. My uncles are 120 kilograms of pure muscle. Yeah, yeah, cause they're, I mean, though, those guys who are 120 kilograms of pure muscle, they've got such a known long lifespan, you know, like the guy who fucking saying over the rainbow with a ukulele, really fucking, I think he died at like 87, didn't he? No, he died. He died running an ultra marathon.
Starting point is 01:37:15 To the buffet. Yeah, okay. Pure muscle, that's why their hearts give out because they're pumping so much. Because they're seen as obese as well. But they're pure muscle, okay. Pure muscle. That's why their hearts give out because they're pumping so much because they're seen as obese as well. But they're pure muscle. Yeah. And they can't get jobs in mining. Yeah. Because they're, they're seen as obese as well. Because of the horse cart union. They can't. Who the fuck can't get jobs in mining? I don't know. I mean, Polynesian guys. I, you know, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:37:45 Is that what they're telling their wives? Honey, why are you going to get a job today? Too fat. Yeah. The fucking wife is too muscular. Too muscular. Oh yeah, yeah. This fucking wide devil's say I'm too muscular
Starting point is 01:37:55 to work in the mines. Because they're seen as obese as well. My daughter and I are beautiful. Why is your daughter come from? My daughter and I are beautiful. And don't need to lose weight. He agreed with two G's. That's probably, that's probably fake.
Starting point is 01:38:12 That big. Yeah, I mean, story's certainly fake. Yeah. Right. You know what, you're right. You're beautiful just as you are. I don't know why doctors even, oh, what's their fucking problem?
Starting point is 01:38:24 I was trying to make people lose weight and stop drinking and they're just like, what is your, because they're, they're, I guess they're not having as much fun as they thought maybe. You know, in any fat doctors here that you could go criticize, right? You got to pick on me. I am kind of on fat people's side in that regard. I'm sure you are. Right? Why are you so fat? What am I here for a big, to hear about how far I hear for a mirror? I hear, I could go outside and someone could tell me I'm fat. Right.
Starting point is 01:38:53 I'm here for a, this chicken that's stuck in my throat, get that out, chicken bone, chicken bone stuck in my throat. Okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on, watch. Let's see. Do we look at this on yet? Oh, wow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:39:19 No video encapsulates the American experience in, how's really fucking sucks today. There we go. This is, he just fat black woman. Oh, he's twerking. Oh, man, they love twerking. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:39:42 Remember they didn't have twerking when we were kids today? No, no, no. Who invented that? I don't know, well I mean those, if I had a time machine, I'd probably sure would have not hit there. I'm sure we wasn't all twerking. Was it, did they ever do that shit?
Starting point is 01:39:53 I don't remember that, because they weren't too fat enough, right? Yeah, maybe not. Like even in Sir Mixellot, I like big butts, it didn't have some fat bitch. He had, The Styrofoam buns that he was hopping around on like a little leprechaun. Yeah, like a little black leprechaun.
Starting point is 01:40:07 Singing about booty. What the fuck, man? There wasn't this shit. You remember the first instance of it? It could be like cable and X-Men and trace back the downfall of all the civilization. Right. First fucking bitch that learned how to twerk.
Starting point is 01:40:23 I wanna call this fucking twerking. What the fuck? Uh, what a hippo. That's, yeah, that's not good. That's not good. Let's see if I have any more. Oh, shit, they're all mixed up. We're missing the graveyard, okay.
Starting point is 01:40:42 Oh, what a view. No, we can never do it. I'm just saying that graveyard, okay. Oh. What? No, get up there. I can't get up on myself. Oh, if that woman fell in a graveyard or she's practicing for like a couple years down the road, see this is I'm going to lay down. It's just going to be on her respect. Underground. She thought she smelled something good. I'm not going to be able to get out of the town. Wish she there to like
Starting point is 01:41:06 pay her respect. She thought she smelled something good. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking by. Man. So she's down.
Starting point is 01:41:22 She was laying down or kneeling down in a graveyard and she can't get up She's back in stuff. Yeah, she literally cannot get up We know he laughs. Yeah, you know turn around he used a fucking gravestone. Oh Oh my god And they're all recording just rolled over like a turtle Oh, no Just rolled over like a turtle Oh My leg I know
Starting point is 01:42:02 Oh Man how much she thinks she's trying to lift there. Oh, dude that looks like a Stuff like an ACL right there It's like she was making a fucking like a like a pad save as a I saw Butterfly Can you do this can we just start knocking? Oh, no, she used the break stove. That's what I said. I'm not safe.
Starting point is 01:42:28 Oh God, oh my God, dude, how does she? Oh, Lord, I'm putting this on Facebook. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, that was, I can't believe it. I can't believe that it was that much of a struggle to fucking get up. Like I've seen people that fat.
Starting point is 01:42:44 But they get up easily from the ground though? I guess I've never seen it. Yeah, I've never seen that either. Um, holy shit. This one's from Vinny. Whoa. Let's see what we got here. Let's see the level of fatness we have here.
Starting point is 01:42:59 Oh, it's just like a slap fight. Is it like just they're lighting? This is the best thing in dude. Two big fat men slugging it out. No, what I mean, like, I think they're fighting for real. You think so? Yeah, look at how hard they're trying to hit. That guy's getting a just so no action in.
Starting point is 01:43:17 So you see that move? He tries to square up. Well, everything has to be around, right? Like, I mean, even though he's the size of the ring. Yeah. Oh. Oh. What are you supposed to be fighting over?
Starting point is 01:43:31 Not a girl, I hope. Some of those Pokey main limited edition cookies probably. Probably their orbital paths or something. Oh colliding. Yeah, like I'm, well I mean, like no,'s like yeah, I'm I'm orbiting this area like he You take a different path Can't yeah physically I'm physically impossible for me to do that right
Starting point is 01:43:58 Wow Well, he comes in hot see he comes he comes in almost like he's, you know, you step, like you can maintain that in boxing, right? But that's the only thing that looks like he's actually done anything athletic in his life. Well, they fuck up because they should be doing sumo shit. Like he should be throwing his weight in,
Starting point is 01:44:20 not these sissy slaps, it's up to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta grab his belt, you know. Yeah. You gotta plant your feet. Was that thing, is it a geek? I don't know what it's called in some. No, that's what it's called in, like, kind of,
Starting point is 01:44:33 karate. Oh, yeah, maybe that's one. Yeah, okay. The diaper you're talking about. Yeah, I got it wrong. I don't know what that, I forget what that thing's called. Um, okay, that's, that's fat watch. That's something else, man.
Starting point is 01:44:45 I have a woman alert. Another woman alert. That's just, I need a, need a sound drop for that woman alert. Woman alert. Oh, wait, here's another fat watch. Oh, rewind. Oh, this is for fat police officer women trying to arrest a male shoplifter for over two minutes and he ends up escaping.
Starting point is 01:45:16 He hears the four, here's the for fat women. They've called in some reinforcements, I'm waddling out of there. Two smaller cars have gotten out of that car, but those are actually female police officers. And they come over with their little T-Rex arms tucked into their utility belts, dusting off the cool range flavoring. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:45:49 There's more surrounding. There's more surrounded demand, even though it would only take one to surround him. More than have surrounded the perpetrator of the shoplifting. Now he's got to be, he's got to be panicked, right? After what happened to George Floyd or totally turned on. Oh, that's true. That's true. Actually, they're not. Some are a couple of them are white, right? I was trying to arrest him, but they have no idea how arms or leverage work. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:15 It's just two fat pigs clinging on to this skinny black guy's hoodie. Here's got to be taken to himself. I can get out of this. How do you think? You're gonna be a cool word system on the side of the thing. This is a better thing. Back up. Right. What happens to the two backup we sent you? Not five and answer for T. Dershin.
Starting point is 01:46:38 I think one's reaching for her. On the heat that would be better. Look at the store. I see a couple cars. Can I get a couple more cars? One of them's reaching. I see a couple cards. Can I get a couple more cards? What are those reaching? I get a couple more cards. Yes. So all the women you have, can we get every woman on the board? What if a reach for their taser, but accidentally pulled a chock a dial? Well, he's lucky to try to taser.
Starting point is 01:46:58 Don't know. Don't know. He's dead. He's dead. Now they're kind of flattening them up against the wall. Three of them are exerting about uh... seventeen hundred pounds against his back but that's what the other one fat woman is pushing the other fat woman against
Starting point is 01:47:17 him to pin him against the wall he's uh... he's managed to pull himself away. I mean, I'm trying to mute those fucking cops. He's pulled himself off the wall. He's got two fat women on each of his arms. And one of the fat women's out of breath.
Starting point is 01:47:39 They're stooped over. Oh my god. He's making a break for it. There he goes. There he goes. No chance of catching him. He's broken off into a brisk jog. Yeah, he's right. He's going to be unable to catch him. No. That's just fucking what are these cops for? Worthless. Why could they possibly do?
Starting point is 01:48:07 Here, Shove and got stabbed. And I didn't, you know, I mean, that's not surprising at all. Ha, ha, ha. Republicans are holding a big memorial party for him. What's he dead? No, he barely made it out of his stabbing. Huh. I just don't, I don't really know how you think, well, who arrested him? Cops.
Starting point is 01:48:32 So what do you want me to do? Like, who do you think is arresting all these guys who shouldn't be arrested? That you guys are always crying about. Cops. Well, can you believe he got fucking convicted by the system? Yeah, it's his system. I'm the last person that has any say in this shit. He was at least a cop.
Starting point is 01:48:51 Right. All right. Pretty good foul watch. Yeah, that was unbelievable. That says so much. Okay, here's the... Hey, Dick, check this out. That says so much. Okay, here's the, here is the, Hey, Dick, check this out.
Starting point is 01:49:06 It's a, it's an all-women team that overshot the runway and crashed a P8 Poseidon aircraft into the ocean. U.S. Navy jet overshoots runway into water off Hawaii. A Navy reconnaissance jet with nine crew members aboard crashed into the water off the Hawaiian island of the Wahoo. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:29 Overshooting the runway. Huh. Oh, it's based on a 737. Huh. It's a big plane. I mean, yeah, it's bigger than, you know, like military jets, general, like fighters and shit like that. Hawaii, uh, there's nothing in Hawaii that like jumps out of nowhere, you know?
Starting point is 01:49:48 They kinda have unlimited view and stuff, right? Visibility was down. Well, there's no mention of the, no mention of any hazards or anything on this article, but just came in a little hot, little hot. There is this happens to be this happens to be the crew that they mentioned let me see here if I can load that up I don't know anything peculiar about this crew maybe a little spatial recognition issues
Starting point is 01:50:20 that might pop up I'd hate to see the parking lot or the crew parking. We got the P8 A crew is coming in to do their first all female crew. I got to go move my car. I'm going to go park it in the ocean. Well, they're like, hey, the plane's named the Poseidon. It's just fun. It's fun. It's an early ocean, right?
Starting point is 01:50:43 Yeah, yeah. No, it's supposed to go on land on land you guys where you got it. Oh Wow You know I can hear it too. I can hear in the cockpit. Oh no, we're gonna we're going to You know if you ever been in a corner with the cockpit Put the brakes on the reverse the brakes you. Push the fucking, put the brakes on. Yeah, reverse the brakes. Push the fucking brakes on. Just press the fucking brakes.
Starting point is 01:51:07 Yeah. He stopped yelling at me. Well, stop shouting at me. I would guess they touched down too late, right? I mean, I, it's what I'm guessing. Oh, fucking no. The place not supposed to be in the ocean. So you can, somebody just stop.
Starting point is 01:51:21 I said anything. Yeah, yeah. We do know one thing. The plan is not what it's supposed to be. Well, we land. Did you land too late? No. Oh, did you press the brakes?
Starting point is 01:51:31 No. We forgot to do that. Right. Did you press the brakes and then get off the brakes? Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:39 You got a good, I know, I know. I know. We didn't think we were going as fast as we were. The guy was yelling at me to get out of the way because other planes were coming in. So I was freaking out. on to get out of the way because other planes were coming in, so I was freaking out. Yeah. Okay, well, I noticed suspiciously that the femaleness of the crew
Starting point is 01:51:53 was not mentioned in the CNN article. Oh no. No. Oh wait a minute, didn't say a few. Female. Let's see, man, my shit's all fucked up. Why do my keyboards always get all fucked up down here? Oh no, no, that was a tweet or something.
Starting point is 01:52:11 It was on detachment and support of maritime homeland defense. Well, you nailed it. Good job. It can carry both torpedoes and cruise missiles, but it can't carry women. Mm. Okay, that's the show. Thanks everyone.
Starting point is 01:52:25 Damn. See you next Tuesday. Patreon.com slash Dix0. See you next Tuesday. Presenting. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:52:38 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey're good. Ready.
Starting point is 01:52:47 F***. F***. F***. F***. Presenting. F***. F***. The A-Opin AI Company fired all the women off their board. Which, which, the open jet, chat, you and T. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:18 They're having this big issue, they're having this big tantrum where the whole, the premise of the company is retarded, like keeping opening I safe. Yeah, there's no danger of a text generating program doing anything unsafe. So you guys are a bunch of like hyperventilating retards, but you start hyperventilating and all of a sudden they get more, what do you know? A bunch of more retards qualified to hyperventilate along with you, a joint. Yeah, yeah. So the CEO quit, and he's like, I'm done with this.
Starting point is 01:53:48 This is it. Or they fired him. He's a weird guy. You're not doing enough hyperventilated. We can get a heart rump out of this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you watch through it. This guy didn't want, this guy said it thought it'd be okay if the computer gave a generalized IQ scores for different races.
Starting point is 01:54:01 So obviously that's, we gotta get rid of it. We gotta get rid of this fucking. This guy, I think what actually happened is this guy wants to build a bunch of computer chips that will help AI. Okay. But that's not what we're about. We're about making AI as safe as possible. Yeah. Yeah. Making computer chips. Right. To make more AI. Okay. Yeah. That's some kind of a, that would be some kind of an AI organization. We are a safety organization. Right. We're going to ruin it. All right.
Starting point is 01:54:26 So Microsoft said Microsoft you own that nonprofit, yeah, which the, I mean, Chad, it's just the scum, the most, the most scummy and villainous people in tech, everything that's wrong with human beings in tech are running the organization. Exist there, yeah. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 01:54:43 So he said, okay, whatever I'm fired, whatever I'll just go. Microsoft said, why don't you come work for us? We own that company anyway. Yeah. Because, okay. Yeah. And then all the employees said, can we go work with you guys? Microsoft said, yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:54:53 Yeah. Sure. Come on over. No, just have chat. So then the opening of the people, the chat, the people said, we want you back. And he said, no. Yeah. Cause your board tried to fuck me over.
Starting point is 01:55:03 Yeah. Embarrassed me and wasted my whole weekend. Yeah, yeah. Cause your board tried to fuck me over. Yeah. Embarrassed me and wasted my whole weekend. Yeah, right, right. You got to fire the board. They said, okay, board's fired. And then they got like all these, there's two women who had no business being on there.
Starting point is 01:55:14 Uh-huh. Like legitimately not just me being an asshole. Yeah. So they said, okay, we're bringing in like the top of the top of the top like Salesforce and all like that slack, everyone who has extensive experience with human networking applications. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:31 All men. Yeah, okay. And some fucking dumb bitch goes, well, we were told a woman would be back on the, we were told a woman would be on the board. And it's about time we need to see which women should we see on here. So Elon Musk ched and he goes, no, no, there shouldn't be any kind of gender expectations. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 01:55:52 That's retarded. It was awesome. There was like a thousand people, kind of like, well, that's actually really offensive. They didn't say that. Why don't you cram it in your cake hole. You've yeast fucking infected cut. So that was funny. Good times. Yeah, good times. Good times. Probably still suck though.
Starting point is 01:56:28 Why does this not work? No, did I not do this again? Oh no, there it is. Dude, it's not in the right order. You see that? Yeah. Do it. Hey, Dick Hation. Um, let's get done with the latest episode. Happy fucking Turkey day, by the way. Thanks. That's kind of fucking all keys. And those are they breeding over there in Australia. I don't know this Christ I've only been exposed to them. Well, it's like them black ball from the legal Hooker site and it's still somehow like
Starting point is 01:57:12 Pint rating in like fucking Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell and still getting prostitutes and it's like They can't stop them But dude like uh... uh... keep christy key reason own shit but this by the guy stovenox he's just like making a of these of his trot like he's his whole ass anime storylines
Starting point is 01:57:37 he can talk to the outcome is pastor no i don't want to go to fucking sunday school this week where do you find the fucking people i don't want to go to fucking Sunday school this week. Like, what? Where do you find these fucking people? I don't know. You have a good one. Go fuck yourself. Thanks. Switching for Sean on that shit.
Starting point is 01:57:51 Well, people, people find, people find the show, don't they? People want to get their story out. People find the show. Yeah, it's, you're not scouring the planet high and low, looking for specific characters. I should. Or maybe you want to start. Yeah, I mean, it seems to, you know, it seems to be kind of a thing that's just happening. plan at high and low looking for specific care. I should. Or maybe you want to start.
Starting point is 01:58:05 Yeah, I mean, it seems to be kind of a thing that's just happening. This guy, let me find, oh, everybody's telling me the audio is fucked up. Why? It's called a Yoko Zuna. Oh, that. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 01:58:18 The sumo rope belt is called a Yoko Zuna. No, I think Yoko Zuna is like the highest, like the highest master. I don't think Yoko rope belt is called a Yoko Zuna is like the highest, is like the highest master. I don't think Yoko Zuna. The sumo rope belt is called the Yoko Zuna. The horizontal rope. That's spelled different though, I think. Like Yoko, I know as a title,
Starting point is 01:58:34 like Yoko Zuna not spelled quite like that. That's like the highest. I don't know, Sean. He's got an anime app. Thanks, guys. I don't know if you're right. The media gets it wrong constantly. What's it?
Starting point is 01:58:48 Okay, well, I was trying to find a guy that was giving me some real... With a D. Some real wild stories to call in, but... Oh, I'll see, no, no, I'm curious. I don't know what happened to him. All right. No, okay, how about this one? Hey, Dick.
Starting point is 01:59:05 It's Beach Tuck. A lot of times, like, there are a lot of times last week when you were mentioned how annoying it is, when women talk about their job, how annoying like that. Yes. I've actually gotten a woman in the correct job. Okay. She worked at a nursing home, but it's really great because instead of, like, anything else, it's like, she comes home and said, well, my one resident told me it was getting fat.
Starting point is 01:59:30 That was what, huh? Well, in other books, in other books, on the truth. They just have no reason to lie. And also, you have to, you're subjected to their stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Captain audience, you work there with old people, holy shit. Now, you know how it feels. Yeah, but they don't make that connection.
Starting point is 01:59:53 No, no, no, no, no. Now, a human would, a human intelligence would, but like that, it's like, oh, maybe I'm doing the same thing to all the terminated robots have to do is just dress like a woman. You're like, oh god, okay. Like, okay, you know, come on through. Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Starting point is 02:00:12 That's where they fucked up. It's tried to look imitating a man. Like, what do you, what do you exactly do you mean by that? Why don't you explain the reasons why you did something? Uh, he's a robot. Yeah, that was a woman. I was like, why don't you explain why you did something? Like, ah, ah, ah, ah, I don't know, I can't tell.
Starting point is 02:00:30 Maybe it is a real woman. Can't tell if it's a robot anymore. Okay, here's another one. Hello, God, listening to a guy complain that he didn't get a fucking nice little kiss from a fucking hooker. Fucking Christ. Oh God.
Starting point is 02:00:52 You know what? I'm going to go home and take the longest bath shower that I can. I'm going to eat a fucking quarter pound of fucking red meat. And then I don't know. Maybe I'll just run my car at all night just the fucking make sure that there's any chance wow that i can use up all of the resources possible in order to ensure that there is no future for these 24-year-old yeah that's cool yeah that's cool fucking stupid goddamn ideas and that's cool
Starting point is 02:01:23 let's go i'll do it. Seriously. I... Oh, Christ. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I don't want to really got him. He's had it.
Starting point is 02:01:34 It's okay if you don't want to see a hugger because like they're gross or something. Man, he's had it. Well, I want to... Oh, I want to hook a little... Love me. Both of them are like that. Both Stovian and Krist the Keeer are like,
Starting point is 02:01:45 well, yeah, but will you be my girlfriend? Go for it now. No, yeah. Me, my girlfriend now. Okay. Hey, so I want to ship something this weekend, so I shopped at the post office. And first mistake?
Starting point is 02:02:03 Like, I see a fat lady working there, and immediately I'm like, okay, this is going to be annoying. Right. Because I'm just giving the fat one. Please don't give me the fat one. Please don't give me the fat one. Hello. The city's have like weird names and stuff. It's in the middle east.
Starting point is 02:02:17 And like, you know, I just go, I immediately know she's going to fuck it up. You know. All right. So I wait in line. I give her the package and she starts typing out the address. And I'm like, okay, can I take the address again to check it? So I take it again. And of course, I can send you an email or a picture. Every single thing she typed was just wrong.
Starting point is 02:02:44 It's almost like she was just typing randomly on the keyboard. Yeah, yeah. Okay, can you like fix it? She's like, oh, well, you can just correct it with a pen, but you can't correct it with a pen because it's tied to a barcode. You have to get it fucking right. But you can't send a mail. It's getting the fucking address right. Anyway, so she does it again and she fucks it up again. She does it again. She fucks it up even more. And like at this point she's getting frustrated and there's a huge line.
Starting point is 02:03:16 Yeah, it's your fault. And like she finally gets it right. And like I hear like snarkly telling the other person who shows up like off tough doing a job right and i i just want to turn around and be like you know one job you just literally have to fucking write the address as it is on the paper and you can't write anyway i didn't say that you can run the far away from the
Starting point is 02:03:39 and i think a picture of the package just in case and i look at it and like of course she fucked up the phone number on it. So I go back, I wait in line again. Oh no, that's the same thing like she couldn't do anything. Where's wrong with these people? The fat, look at them. There you go. This is a fat woman at the post office. Can't even pipe. Yeah. All right. Go fuck yourself. I can't, I've lost my shit. Fucking four times. You got it right on the fourth time, but then still fucked up the phone number. I, okay. Yeah, you fuck up the phone.
Starting point is 02:04:11 I'm not going back for the phone number. I'm gonna count that as a win. Yeah, that address is correct. And just assume that it's gonna fucking get there. Cause that's, that was just one of those things where the universe is telling you it's not meant to happen if the phone number is what fucks it up finally. That one you can correct and scribble it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:04:33 Okay. Hey, it's your boy, Thundersel. What makes me great is when DJ asks you to put your hands up, then takes way too long to break drop. As soon as these hands are in there, as requested, you're on time, everybody. And if what's coming takes too long, or if it's not correct, then it takes way too long to break. Drop. As soon as these hands are in there, as requested, you're on a timer, buddy. And if what's coming takes too long, or if it's not magic, I'm not gonna do anything about it, but I will be very disappointed.
Starting point is 02:04:54 I'm not putting my hands up again. If that happens, I thought that at that point, no one should care, right? So, that's- No one cares. Now I'm not special because I didn't care when you said it, right? But now nobody cares. Right. Cause our hands are in the air. Somebody
Starting point is 02:05:12 sent these in. I don't know if they're supposed to go to the biggest problem or us. What are they like fucking, they're like, they're like, can I water mango drinks or I don't think they have any alcohol 0% so if you want a peach soda, maybe it's good. Thank you. Peach soda from, is it from Japan? I guess. Yeah, it looks Japanese. It does. I know they're not carbonating because I shook it up before I gave it to Vito. So it's obviously this looks like, but I would say that. I would say this is 10% and then alcohol 0%.
Starting point is 02:05:40 But I would say that. I would say that. This is just 10%. 10% and then alcohol 0%. Something has 100%. It's just premium like a beer. It is, it is. It is a good. I don't think there's any alcohol in it.
Starting point is 02:05:54 No, I mean it says alcohol 0.0%. So yeah, it's good. It's like a peach soda, I guess. I see here. It tastes like a good version of bubbly. It tastes like shit. But now that's all my mom ever has and she never has Diet Coke and always says, oh, I thought I just bought some. Not bad. Okay. Not bad. Hey, Dick, here's what makes me rage. Looking at the hot girls
Starting point is 02:06:20 Twitter counts, looking at their boobs and their asses and stuff. Yeah. And then you keep scrolling and then they're posting pictures of dead Palestinian kids, the media, the owner killer. Anyway, go fight yourself. There's way too many dead kids on social media. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, this is umay. It's not a peach.
Starting point is 02:06:42 It's its own. True. It looks like a odd. It's mistaken for a plum. It says often. It's an odd taste. Yeah. I think I'm gonna have it's a Japanese super fruit. They say interesting avocados. It is both beautiful and aromatic. I don't know if you knew that. Yeah, ume fruit. Organic agave syrup, umay. No, well, that's part of... Oh, there it is.
Starting point is 02:07:09 It's got sugar and agave syrup, which I assume is for sweetness. Umay extract. Very interesting. Not bioengineered food. It's not, I mean, it's good. It's an interesting taste. There's nothing off putting about it.
Starting point is 02:07:23 Yeah, it's a little odd. It's odd, but odd and interesting taste. There's nothing off-putting about it. Yeah. It's a little odd. It's odd, but odd doesn't necessarily mean bad to me. I was like, okay. Yeah, there's a lot out of 22 talk, but that's so. You got me thinking about that time, where his girlfriend would have made a bunch of money. Is he directing a plane into the terminal, like in a jet-way? Yeah, but his first entrepreneur being a big deal about it.
Starting point is 02:07:45 That he was like, oh, maybe I've cut some all this stuff. And I was just thinking, this guy, you just go out tight wherever he wants. He's like, deep in a heart, son, veto, best, to play in words with friends with him. It's just like a normal guy that's got to be good. I don't know. I mean, I want to take back all my free-to-be stuff.
Starting point is 02:08:04 Yeah, I pull these supports here, clothing of your life from now on. That would be something I can be grateful to that, that's an experience. So you guys. Yeah, it's actually right. Actually, everyone who loves their wife so much, that they're offended that some other guy's wife
Starting point is 02:08:20 is fucking a bunch of guys. Actually, they're the cucks. Like, why don't you go buy your wife some flowers if you fucking love wives so much, right? Oh, that guy's blood against wife, fuck a bunch of black guys. So where's your fucking wife? Why don't you go take her out to dinner?
Starting point is 02:08:35 You fucking moron? This guy's buying a bunch of cars and shit playing birds with friends with Vito. Oh. Having a cool party. Yeah, sounds like a cool party. It's see, people like forgot how porn stars are, I think. Like, well, yeah, they fuck other people.
Starting point is 02:08:49 That's their whole deal. They're not like doing, they're not like playing, they're not having a polyamorous relationship. They're fucking, they're porn stars. You ambassol. Right. This is from, I think I've been sitting on this for a while. Really?
Starting point is 02:09:03 I don't know how to say his name. Irgevor? Sure. They made a bunch of collectible cards. Oh yeah? Yeah. Dude, my keyboard is fucked. Yeah, that's being a fucking ear.
Starting point is 02:09:16 Okay, I have no typing then, I guess. The keyboard has drank a lot of beer. This one hasn't. Oh no, it's a perfect. Oh, yeah. It's a card of me. This one hasn't. Oh no, it's a perfect. It's a card of me. I think he he silly made it. Wow.
Starting point is 02:09:29 And they're set of cards. Let me see this. 45 of a hundred. They sent me a pack too. I almost don't want to open it. I think they're sold out. Damn, that's cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:09:40 That's really cool. Maybe I'll give this away. I don't know. It's pretty, probably pretty valuable. In the right circles. You read the quote on it. Yeah, Penny saves a woman fired. So this is great.
Starting point is 02:09:52 Very cool. Okay. Here's one that I think you'll enjoy. Hey, Dick. I've got another installment in an ever growing series of women and and today it is women and other peoples birthday. Now we already know women in their birthdays, they've got their birthday week, they've got their birthday month, but some of these business have got a birthday year.
Starting point is 02:10:18 But where I'm coming into race today about is the fact that they will get upset about other peoples birthday. race today about is the fact that they will get upset about other people's birth. People typically don't care. Their husband, their brother, their dog, dogs of the fucking know. It's just happy that it's getting like a fucking weird ass cake. But I agree. Yeah. Diarrhea cake, the color of the shit.
Starting point is 02:10:40 The thing is that my mom is upset that I will be leaving on my brother's birth. They're too lost to agus because my breath is next day and I want to go fuck around Las Vegas. Now if you're listening with making, well let's fucking Harlow Son of a Bitch, he's going to miss his little brother's like eight birthday party or some shit. No, my brother is turning 44. He hasn't given a fuck about his birthday either since before I was fucking bored. It's because he's a man. I've't given a fuck about his birthday either since before I was talking for it. It's because he's like, man, I've got like a flu or some shit. Anyways, go fuck yourself, shot.
Starting point is 02:11:12 I love you. There's always one that I'll count. Oh, we'll win your birthday. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, keep it in the bedroom. Yeah, we don't need you grooming anybody over here with you. I don't have those I don't have Don't know it's today. I don't write it down. Yeah, I can't remember last. Yeah, I can't remember All right one more It's my mouth What the fuck did they start making cheeses so goddamn complicated?
Starting point is 02:11:44 where the fuck did they start making cheeses so god damn complicated she's is that what I think he's it that we got over my fucking hands but now every new flavor of cheese is I see I can't even find you like you know she's it's that's ever whatever whatever they got somebody these fucking players yeah and they all are spread with this like powder dust yeah it's funny that's all your fucking hands like right right but things that change you know old she's it yeah remember they used to do you remember the slogan It's funny. I don't have your fucking hands. It's like driving or anything. But things that change, you know. You're like an old cheater.
Starting point is 02:12:07 Yeah. Remember they used to, do you remember the slogan that M&Ms had when we were young, the milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand? Yeah. That hasn't been true for 30 years. If you hold M&Ms in your hand, I promise you it will bleed. Why the fuck is that a slogan for candy? Who cares where it melts?
Starting point is 02:12:26 You know, we're kids carrying them around all day. Yeah, I mean, I just think of having chocolate that melts in my hands. Well, you know, number one, I mean, like M&Ms were, you know, it was predicated on the assumption that they're good that you like the taste for the mom. That's for mom. So, so they won't make a mess everywhere. And it is for mom. Yeah, that is a slogan.
Starting point is 02:12:42 It's a Don Draper slogan. You know what, moms hate. They hate kids eating a bunch of chocolates. And getting it everywhere. It's other hands of them. They're fucking hands. God damn women. But it didn't use, it's, they, as everything as they,
Starting point is 02:12:55 it's a lie though. But now it's a lie. Yeah, everything has gotten worse. It's not work. I believe so. Really? I think so. I think carry M&M's around all day.
Starting point is 02:13:03 I mean, I'm all for work. I think I tested it. Huh. If I remember right,M's around all day. I mean, I'm all for more. I think I tested it. Huh. If I remember right, but there's a lot of stuff that's completely different now that's everything is disgusting. I've got everything disgusting. This flavor is absolutely disgusting. It feels like I'm, I don't hate it.
Starting point is 02:13:14 It feels like it would taste, if I, no, I have, I've eaten fish come and this reminds me too much of eating that fried fish come. Really? That my girlfriend ordered for me in Japan secretly. That's crazy that it hated that. Something is wrong with this. Maybe I need some alcohol. Maybe.
Starting point is 02:13:33 I don't hate it. I appreciate the gift, but it's interesting. Something about this fruit is just, I can see why I didn't get picked up over here. Yeah. It tastes like a ghost is coming in my mouth. Wow. It tastes like a battery is coming in my mouth. Wow. It tastes like a battery is coming in my mouth, like a robot.
Starting point is 02:13:48 I get the little acidity, I get the little metallic thing you were talking about. You were talking about what I throw up. You were talking, that's what you meant by like battery, right? Yeah. Yeah, little slump, little metallic, not like acidic metallic. Metallic, yeah. But only on like the back and the roof of my mouth. That also got my tongue.
Starting point is 02:14:04 The can? I don't know, but. All right, I drink out of cans all the time and it doesn't happen to me. True. I don't spend most of my life drinking out of cans. I'm gonna finish it. I won't drink yours, but I will finish mine. All right, well, I'll upload the fucking video right away.
Starting point is 02:14:19 Can you bounce that out here so I can upload, I can, oh, you want to check it out? Yeah, sure. It doesn't have to be that good for the video, just, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just so I can upload, like, oh, you want to do it together? Sure. It doesn't have to be that good for the video. Just, yeah, yeah, yeah, just so I can have it and upload it. Yeah, totally. Sorry for the audio. See you guys.
Starting point is 02:14:32 See you. See you. Thanks.

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