The Dick Show - Episode 398 - Dick on Sean's Dog

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Sean's dog comes over, Vinnie and Karl from the Creep-Off call in and play a Vaush game, Maddox makes schizo Valentine's Day cards, a cop filps out over an acorn, a trust in media survey, Ebony Alerts, getting over a bad breakup, Biden brings a Black family fried chicken for dinner, and I stop a woman from getting a breast reduction; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

We're on. You're on with Sean. We're talking guitars. Sunday morning. They just call in and ask you to make the sound of chords. Yeah, perfect. Can I get a B flat 7? You're going to need somebody with perfect pitch and a lot more vocal chords.

And then you argue with every caller on how it's impossible. That sounds like something I would argue about Hey Sean, love the show Can I get a C5 power cord? Slash B Okay And then you go Well, you can't make that sound A human can't make the sound

You can do it individually Yeah Put it together Okay, next caller Hey Sean And then you go, well, you can't make that sound. A human can't make the sound. You can do it individually. Yeah. Put it together. Okay, next caller. Hey, Sean. That was good. Could I get an E7 sharp nine?

Could I get the Hendrix chord? Right. The one he played in the national anthem? Am I hearing Maddie? Which one is barking over there? Maddie, you little brat. I knew it was going to be her. I fucking knew it. Okay, this is...

We've got a doggy daycare here today. I do. I have my monster. Someone making noise. What was I going to bring up? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. I have some documents that i need to bring

up for this show oh really yeah documents yeah of course yeah i like documents i like things that are in kind of black and white things that are are i like permanent things that's why i've always been a who cares about the live shows i want you know I mean? I don't mean live shows on this. I mean like the live performances by like a band. It's like if they make a great record, you have that record forever. The live's just shit.

It's like, well, it's ultimately forgettable except for maybe, maybe you have some kind of awakening or something. If you see this incredible live, I can imagine maybe seeing Hendrix

under the right circumstances because in in the the context of the time yeah what he was doing compared to what everybody else was doing that had to be incredibly impactful but at the end of the day you know i said they're recorded but then that's also kind of an album in permanent so it's like revolver is always going to sound like Revolver. Are You Experienced or Electric Ladyland is always going to sound like that. You have that forever. I like that.

I like permanence. I like things in black and white. Bring up the documents. Look at this. Look at these guys. McNugget buddies, for me. Just for me and Vito. Pop Sculpture made them.

That's very cool. Yes. You think this isn't a fair award winning? I'm going to submit these to the LA Fair. Are you? I should. You really should. In what category though? Mosaics. That's a mosaic? Yeah, this is a mosaic. Perfect.

Somehow they'll say the other guy doesn't have a hat so it's incomplete. It's incomplete. Look at this guy. He didn't live up to his potential. He didn't achieve any of his dreams. He's generally potential. He didn't achieve any of his dreams. He's generally unhappy. He's gaining issues and not dealing with any.

He's actually getting more and more issues. Very unfinished person. That's what they'll see when they look at this McNugget buddy of me. That's George? No, it's George in a wig. In a me wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. Speaking of. It's pretty cool. Like the in a wig, in a me wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. He's got there. Speaking of.

It's pretty cool. Like, the level of detail is pretty impressive on those. It is. Pop sculpture, it's amazing. Like, look at the corners of the eyes and, like, you know what I mean? I thought I was good at Sculpey's, and then I get this shit, and I'm like, oh, you're trash. Just like at every day. Is Sculpey's, like, a new thing?

Like a. It's like polymer clay. That's what, that's just the name of it, you know? The name brand of it. Hmm. Polymer clay. I am recording, right? it. The name brand of it. Polymer Clay. I don't know. Yeah, I'm recording. Speaking of Maddox,

I like to start the show with a little Maddox ribbing. Yeah. I don't want to forget my roots. Remember why we're all here, right? Do it for her. We're doing it to shit on him. Yeah. He's playing a very stupid game of Russian roulette.

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. He was making some weird, obsessive Valentine's Day cards. Yeah. I guess he made some of me. I can't have them. I don't have them on hand. They're very bizarre looking. Yeah. He took an old picture of me where can't have them I don't have them on hand They're very They're very bizarre looking Yeah

He took an old picture of me Where I look all like Fat and dumb Excuse me Fatter and dumber Okay Like where I'm making a face Yeah

And he cut it He cut out the picture of me And then put it next to those Stupid song lyrics That he says is a poem Of mine That was stolen from my house Okay

That he's taken a picture of And taken from my house I showed the You know We a picture of it and taking it from my house. I showed the, you know, we talked about this on the show already. The book of song lyrics that I have. Oh, right, right.

That I wrote backwards. Yeah, yes. It's like they're all dog shit and stupid. That's why they're in a book in the basement of my house, not, you know. So Maddox put those,

he like outlined them in Photoshop and put them on a Valentine next to my face on this garish pink. It looks like a serial killer made it. Well, it's very disturbing. Yeah. Oh, I have no doubt.

Um, and this is to prove that I'm a stalker by hand cutting out notes and pictures and like collages, insane collages. I think he, he sees this show, but you- Look at how much of a stalker he is. I cut out his picture in a bunch of letters

and photoshopped it onto this thing. It's like a serial killer cutting out magazine and saying, you know, sending messages through- That's super.

Yeah, I think he sees- That guy must really have a thing for you since you're cutting out his picture in a bunch of words. He can't see that because

it's like it's not even that he's dumb it's that he's evil well it's here it is look he has a severe fucking personality defect like it's this yeah that's an insane person made that yeah uh-huh cut out scribbled look at how much time it took and you know it takes him time to make everything and this is gay this little heart thing like i know it takes him time to make everything. And this is gay. This little heart thing, like I know it's meant to be gay, but it's weirdly homoerotic that he chose it and was, who knows what he was wearing

while he was photoshopping me. You know what I'm saying? If I was photoshopping something of you, I'd be in a hazmat suit. Right. As you should be. Yeah. I wouldn't have had a hard on

for at least 48 hours. Or I would abort the plan. I would say, I have to, I can't, honey, I can't have had a hard-on for at least 48 hours. Or I would abort the plan. I would say, honey, I can't look at you. I can't have a hard cock for 48 hours because I have to Photoshop Sean. Right. And I'm not having a hard-on either two days before or two days after. That's the rules. Right.

That's only fair. Yeah. Well, I think the thing, he's looking at this show, he's looking at you in particular, and whether he knows it or not, it's about what he could have had had he only listened to you with business decisions. That's it. Honestly, that's it.

He could say, fuck you. But all he had to do, it's... Well, creativity. He never got the experience of experience in life. You know, like when people come out of college or they have- Or they have good parents. But they have parents that buy them houses.

Right, whatever. But it's like, okay, if you may come out of college or something with a cutting edge curriculum in your head and you go into a field, but you don't have the experience of the other you don't always do it by the book yeah so he never got that so he always you're talking you're describing back to school starring rodney dangerfield and basically trump which is

basically trump you're talking about okay that's why he was such an effective uh leader maybe he he just couldn't bring himself to think that anybody had any ideas that were better than his, that it could be done better. It's like, well,

I've done this. It's like, yeah, you're broke though. I, I think it's just, I think it's holding a mirror up to him over and over again,

this whole fucking thing. And he's just lashing out and somebody said it. I can't remember if I said it or if somebody wrote in and said it, but he like a child he lies like a child he he he hit it me no yeah no he didn't i was here the whole time he did it i'm my sponsor he did it before do anything before you you were here no that's not true either you're lying you're just lashing out you've been having a fucking seven-year narcissistic tantrum uh you got these guys

guys gotta be harder on these guys uh he just oh man i remember him saying i remember him saying you know like fans fans it doesn't mean shit when you shit on me because I already hate myself more. Yeah, yeah. Well, half of that was, half of that was true. Half of that was true. Everybody has like a good sport

until I show up. And it's like, oh, okay, I'm moving. Like Eric July bullying everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting little guys on a stream, making fun of them,

all his fans Bullying them And then I show up Oh hey what's up Jabba jabba Uh This isn't fun anymore I'm a professional Uh

I need to be treated Like a professional If you show up To my place of business I'll uh I'll kill you I'll shoot you And you'll deserve it

And everyone Will back me up Or else I'm not selling Their shitty comics And they're all shitty Because none of these Fuckers take any notes on anything

they won't take they all think they're great and that you just write and it's good look there's a there is a when uh the wider the gap between your wider the gap the tighter the what's the rhyme it's this has better rhyme this had better

rhyme well I'm gonna to disappoint you. No. Yes, what is the wider the gap? The wider the gap between your perception of yourself and reality, the more trouble you can get in. The wider the gap, the bigger the clap!

Yes, that's it! You got it! Oh, fuck, I forgot what I was going to talk about. You got me all riled up. Look, so this is a... Oh, fuck, I got to wait for this thing. Yeah! Welcome to Dickie, want Dickie, need Dickie, you love Dickie, got it!

This is the show where everyone's contests give you life from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of city failure. You're hearing me, host Dick Masterson, a.k.a. the $20 million man. Joining me as always is world-touring L. Failure me. Host Dick Masterson, a.k.a. the $20 million man. Joining me as always is world-touring L.A.-based comedian Sean the Audio Engineer and our two fucking dogs are now wrestling.

They're going nuts. Yeah. Running up and down the stairs. Chasing each other. Jumping over the couch. Peeling out on the fucking, on the floor, on the slick floor.

All George had to do Oh, yeah. was listen to you about funding. How to monetize a podcast. Then he can say, fuck you. You started dating my ex? Fuck you.

You're a piece of shit. He could have said all that. But he could have taken the idea and made a shit ton of money. I always said we have to have arguments on the show. I told Vito that in the beginning of our show. He was asking me off the show. He was like, if you got anything bad, you gotta ask on the show.

That's the show. That's what people want. They want intimate drama, decisions. They want to see people make mistakes and learn things. It makes it real. It's entertainment. That's the point of all of this. I know. People do like that. Why am I still holding real. It's entertainment. It's real. That's the point of all of this. I know.

People do like that. Why am I still holding this? It's making me hungry. It's McNugget money. Get some McNuggets. Have a couple beers. You'll bite it. I know. That's why I got to get it away.

Get this thing away from me. That's what white people say. Do you know that? What? Got to get this thing away from me? If they had too many chips, they go, get these things away from me.

Oh, yeah. White people love that. Get these things away from me. They do. If White people love that. Get these things away from me. They do. If you have like a white person. I have no discipline. If you ever run across a white person in blackface

and you don't know and it's so good that you don't know if they're black or not, like Rachel Dolezal, remember her? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Who was running the NAACP.

Right, right. And doing a great job. Shocker. Yeah. Well, she's not the first one. There have been chapters of the NAACP. Right. And doing a great job. Shocker. Yeah. Well, she's not the first one. There have been chapters of the NAACP run by white people. Not doing blackface, though. No, no, no, no.

Yes. I think, honestly, it sucks that what happened to her. She was hilarious. Just keep running it. It's funny. I mean. Let her keep doing it. Fucking, can't somebody, can't Obama come in and anoint her?

It's like, you black. Well, I mean. Or Biden, I guess. I don't know. Can't you call her the N-word so she can keep doing it? You know? I don't know if he can. What's the black experience?

I'm saying. I don't know. I mean, I, you know, I mean, was she doing, I don't see that she was doing like any harm. She wasn't embezzling, I don't think. And that's pretty much the only thing you have to not do. Embezzle shit and do child pornography. If you're running an organization, all you're doing is fundraising.

So the only thing you have to do is not take the money you're fundraising for other people. That's hard for some people. It's impossible. Hard for a lot, yeah. I mean, it's the nature of... The longer you're around it. You're fundraising at some point for yourself. You're like, well, why is the National Advancement of

African Americans getting this money instead of me? Yeah. I'm not saying the other way. But it is the NAACP. I'm not saying the acronym though. Yeah. It is considered outdated, that phrase, but... Should we call it the N-A-A-A-A? The N-A-A-A-A. The N-Double-Double-A.

Right. Like a McDonald's order. Yeah. Call it the N-Double-A. The N-Double-Double-A-double-A The N-double-double-A That's like a McDonald's order Yeah Call up the N-double-A The N-double-double-A Right? I need some people from the N-c-double-A Yeah

I need some CPs from the N-double-double-A Yeah I represent the N-double-double-A The N-double-double-A The National American Association for the Advancement of African Americans Right Isn't that the N-quintuple-A? You better watch your mouth, that's racist! Isn't that the N-quintuple A? You better watch your mouth.

That's racist. Isn't that the NCAA? Uh, the NCAA. I'm talking about college, obviously. You're talking about college. Yeah, I'm talking about college. It's going to be like a reverse phone book. Black people organizations is like a reverse phone book.

Like a reverse graph. Yeah. You know? It's N and then A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A. But not N-A. No. I'm no fan of N-A either, guys. All right? Well, I know. You would never go to's N and then A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A. But not N, A. No. I'm no fan of N, A either, guys. All right?

Well, I know. You would never go to an N, A meeting. An N, A meeting? Yeah. No. Narcotics anonymous. No. Yeah.

Maybe an A, maybe a double A, N, A meeting. Yeah. That's what I was saying. Got it. Right. What the hell are we talking about? I'm hooked on the junk too, guys. Don't, don't shoot, you know.

I'm not the bad guy here. Right, right. You know? I was hooked on phonics for five years uh oh yeah maddox um he made those weird valentine's day cards of me to show that fucking insane show that he that i'm obsessed with them yeah yeah, right. That's, again, perception, reality. Yeah. And then he posted it to his group of weirdos. He'll never see it.

He'll never fucking see it. That he's doing everything that he accuses everyone else of doing. He's too nuts. Dude, we got to listen to his radio interview. He was on a radio interview and he confessed that the reason, he doesn't know this, he confessed that the reason the podcast broke up is because he found out we started dating.

And he's never done that, but he slipped up and confessed it. Right. It's clearly the reason. Holy shit, it sounds like two dump trucks coming down the stairs. So then on his Facebook fan group, one of his weirdos made this one, made this, oh, thank you, made this, that's going to help, I'm sure,

not running up and down the stairs with the closed balsa wood door. Well, certainly. God, they're going nuts up there. Someone made this Valentine of Nicorcata. Yeah. It's slightly less schizo. Yeah.

Because they put some more design elements and the color It's slightly less schizo. Yeah. Because they put some more design elements and the color's a little less jarring. You can tell they're like one step removed from it. Not quite schizo.

Right. This is a joke. Mine are schizo. So they've got this picture of Nick Ricada dressed as his friend Drexel, who happens to be black.

Yeah. Roses are red, violets are blue. Defamation is only defamation if it's not true. Right. It's funny. Yeah.

It's true. So Maddodox says this is hilarious mind if i post it on twitter i can credit your full name or a sanchez or something uh what grandpa do you mind if i post your image on twitter yeah the fuck are you talking about? It's a JPEG. Well, he thinks he... Do you mind if I post... Do you mind if I post... I can credit you as A. Sanchez or your name

or something else if you'd prefer. We'll see how morally upright he is. You know... Bro, what? So he's backed himself into this corner

where he can't even take a funny meme and post it without negotiating. Right. Yes, I would like to be credited as da-da-da-da-da.

Yeah, that's what the watermark's for, you idiot. No one gives a shit. There's no, you're not making any money here. You're just wasting time

and posting pictures of people who are more successful than you. There's no credit. No, he's- Credit is where money's involved, you shitwit.

It's all misplaced. It's all misplaced fucking anger Can I have that picture of the spider back that I sent you? I just sent you a picture of a spider Can you send it back to me? I need to lend it to somebody else Fucking idiot, man He's playing a really stupid game right now

Alright, is everything working? Just a couple of the lies that he's posted about me or he's like, he's fucking right now. He's there's no point in suing him because nothing has happened. No, because nothing has happened. Oh yeah. He's fuck.

It's he's done. Like, I mean, that's the fucking, honestly, I can't believe his YouTube channel that I released, that I released his content. I gave the masters to my

content people who paid for it yeah you guys are entitled to the pro tool sessions too that's a work for hire i was paid you fucking idiot yep and he you have the same things that he has i don't need to ask permission to the other oh for the other owner of the fucking, of the master file. It doesn't matter if you have it, it's mine. Those are my fucking tapes. Correct. I've seen Boogie Nights. I know how that works, but you might own it, but the magic is mine that's on the tapes. Well, in some ways, like

it's like you, you know, if you write, there's publishing license versus mechanical licenses, things like that. I know I own it. Yeah, you're the record label. You own the fixed recording. The master. Yeah. Oh, I know.

So, I mean, he would be smart. He would be smart to take any of that bullshit down that he's written about me. He won't. Because the longer that it's, well, no, because he can't fucking, no, he can't admit that he's wrong. Yeah. He doesn't know a fucking thing.

Yeah. So, you're you're playing fucking russian roulette you fucking dickhead you're fucking if it costs me anything it'll cost you everything go ahead see how that fucking shakes out you got a problem with shit being released talk to dick see how that goes for you sue me what's the big deal yeah stupid take a cut let me tell you something else for any anybody who thinks they're doing him like like a favor or whatever or doing a solid thing remember this what are you talking about i mean people retweeting or if anybody wants to call anybody they want him to be harmed number one they want him number one

everybody fucking knows this whole fucking thing. Yeah. Okay, who I'm concerned about. Yeah. Number two, do you want to go to bat for a guy

who is too much of a bitch to do his own fucking dirty work? He got his girlfriend a restraining order because he wouldn't fucking do it himself. Right.

Don't get something stupid on your record for this fucking mutt. They want him to fail. The people that are still in maddox aside they like that he's a failure because they are failures that's the why our camps split again so it's all misplaced uh loathing yeah you know it's a weird phenomenon um but it happens to like famous people it does you get glommed tried to get dragged down by you know people.

Oh it does and then we love a comeback story but not in this case. I honestly would. If Maddox stopped doing this this video is retarded.

If he had just started doing content like good content I think people would have been happy to see him back. Yeah. Probably not now. No that's

that's gonna take a while. That's what I mean it's gonna have to be a hell of a hit yeah I just it's you know I don't know man maybe they'll see you know when

you want to jump on his side you want to do things you want to fuck with people when you see the end result of this in fucking 10 years when he's fucking you you know, naked. Living on his bike. Naked in a pet store, fucking covered in his own shit with dried cat food around his mouth and a fucking puggle stuck on his dick. You're going to fucking wonder.

You're going to wonder about the wisdom of doing some of his work. You think he's got people helping him? I think he's doing it all himself. Well, no, I think he's got. Oh, no, no. You think he's got people helping him? I think he's doing it all himself. Well, no, I think he's got, oh, no, no. I think he's got people, I think he's got people who are fucking, you know,

tweeting who are like, oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, we'll call this guy's work. We'll do shit like that. Well, I try to be very- Don't fucking do it. You're gonna learn, you're gonna learn

what a fucking psychopath is. I try to be very cool. A manipulator. To the e-celebrities. Anybody who could help, you know, get the word out, I try to be extremely cruel to them.

Yeah. So that they'll have a bad feeling and feel bad, you know? And when they think about it, doing it, they'll not do it because they don't like that bad feeling.

Yeah. It's been effective so far. Okay, good. Harley Morgenstein or whatever, that guy, he piped up a little bit so I...

I don't know who that is. Epic Mealtime guy. Oh. Oh, there's Carl. Are we this late already? Jesus. Mind if I post this on Twitter?

I was ranting. I was ranting but fucking be a fucking be careful what you're be careful what you're fucking around with,

George. Be careful because it's going to come as a shock. I keep thinking about the restraining order when he wanted to get in the courtroom, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if I could just explain it, it's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're not going to, that ain't going to happen. That ain't going to happen. Mute them for a minute.

Just so we can, guys, I'll be right with you. I haven't even talked about Israel, Ukraine. What do we usually talk about? I don't know. Trans things. I think I went a little too far on veto this week. This week? Yeah.

Oh, man. Here's something I found. Look at this. Here is the evidence. Here is the evidence.com. Did I bring this in already? No. It's all the evidence of is the evidence.com did i bring this in already no what it's all the evidence of uh a voter fraud shit oh god we're really doing this don't you think this is good to have no why yeah because i don't believe i don't believe any of it but it's like

you don't believe any of these people these are like like, there's, it's a list of all the ones that are like successful. This was a voter fraud that was found out. This is a thing. Everything that, everything that I've investigated. These are court cases. Yeah,

you could, so they filed court cases. No, and the outcomes and some are determined, yes, there was fraud. Yes,

there was this. There's always, on a mass scale. Yeah. No, on a mass scale. Two million No, on a mass scale. Two million. Yeah.

Two million ballots. Ballots touched by anomalies. That doesn't mean fraud. Wait a minute. You're telling me that even, we arise, we get contempt from you guys even for investigating? No, you can absolutely investigate. Well, what is this then? The cyber ninjas did the recount in Arizona.

Guess how it came out? That's not an audit, though. count in arizona guess how it came out you also know you also know that you also know that states a lot of states have automatic recounts if we don't want if it's within accounts we want audits if it's in a whatever well that's different though i know i don't want the one you're saying i want the one i want i want the audit everything i don't want to recount my taxes i want an audit on the taxes you You know what? Really, you guys? This means nothing?

You hate it. You hate that it exists. No, it's not my job. It's not my job to fucking, to teach you. It's all... Wait a minute! Voting is... This is your job!

Not my job. This is the only job of someone in America. The information is out there. You can tell... It's the only thing that makes America what it is. It's supposed to be the voting. Of course it's your job. You look at who's saying what.

Who actually will know. Who actually had their hands in it. You don't need a single Democrat. Damn, I thought this would be good. A list of voting oddities and shit. I just have no patience anymore for anything. Alright, I guess I... Back to the drawing board.

I'm just... There's so much bullshit out there. I'm fucking so tired of it. What if I wanted to audit where all of our war money was being spent? And I said, it's all fake. It's all going to BlackRock. Would you believe that?

Who knows? Who knows? I know a lot of companies get rich off our fucking military. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I can say, am I still allowed to say that or is that? Yes, of course you are.

Look, there's voter fraud. Everything else the government's doing is bad. There's voter fraud in 100% of elections. Okay. It's widespread. Now we got some guys doing a list of it. Yeah. Right? The only things that I have seen that were convicted were republicans good let's then let's you know keep convicted

but i know what the narrative is with the voter fraud that the government's evil and that they're rigging elections 100 they do it all over the world okay that the u.s government does evil stuff like this all over they do that Okay. That the US government does evil stuff like this all over. They do. But the banks are telling them how. It was all Trump's guys.

He had all the advantages. He had everyone. What do you mean? He had the DOJ. He had the post office. He had everyone. So how? Well, we were beaten

by the best. So you're either incompetent or you're lying. Incompetent. Yeah, sure. So none of his guys could stop. Sean, he's an idiot. What are you talking about? That was his narrative

months before. We're gonna win. If I don't win, they stole it. Yeah, that's true. Jesus Christ. It's gotten to a point where... Can I get a Diet Coke? I actually don't know if we have one. Let me text.

Maddox got me all fucking fired up. Wait a minute. Oh, Carl can't hear me? Let me see. He can't hear you? I don't know. Let me see. Well, I muted them because we're talking about other stuff.

He should be able to hear me, I think. Can you hear us? I don't know. Maybe let me try a different channel. I unm't know. Let me see. Well, I muted them because we're talking about other stuff. He should be able to hear me, I think. Can you hear us? I don't know. Maybe let me try a different channel. I unmuted him. I see printing. I heard him for a second. Me too.

That's why I muted him. Yeah, and then he went away. Let me try this one. Yeah, that works. There, microphone is on now. How about... Oh, I have mine muted. There, they should probably... Okay, unmute him for a second. Let me finish that. Let me finish that argument. Okay, that works. There, microphone is on now. How about... Oh, I have mine muted. There, they should probably...

Okay, unmute him for a second. Let me finish that. Let me finish that argument. Okay, one second. Okay. This is where I'm... This is where I'm at. I was texting for you for a Diet Coke.

Thank you. What's your backup if you don't want a Diet Coke? Can I get an iced coffee? Or iced coffee. Okay. Thank you. So if that iced coffee comes back and it's just empty, is that going to be weird for you?

Are you going to be like, well, you know, whatever. I just take whatever I get. What do you mean? It must be coffee. They told me it's coffee. Please. You don't think that more black people voted for Biden is weird? Does that make you go like, more black people voted for Biden than they voted for Obama?

You don't think that's peculiar? Doesn't that, I mean, doesn't that make you go, oh, that's peculiar? Like, how many more? More. And how many people? Doesn't that make you go, oh, that's peculiar? It may have gotten, who knows? It may have gotten people interested in politics once Obama was around.

There may be more voting age black people around. Who knows? Just to be clear, it doesn't make you go, that's odd. That's certainly peculiar. Because the first black president versus the guy who sent a lot of our fathers to prison. Depends on the numbers.

And is an old white racist. That's peculiar. You had way more voter turnout. You know what I mean? The numbers matter. If it was double, you're goddamn right it raises a red flag. So that's weird.

Double. Well, sure. How much is within a million or something? I don't know. Even the same amount is awfully bizarre to me. I don't know. Even the same amount is awfully bizarre to me. I don't know about awfully bizarre. So if a bunch of football fans watch the Super Bowl, then next week there's World Badminton Champions and as many football fans watch the Badminton Champion,

you'd go, well, gee, I wonder what. Thank you. Gee, I wonder. You know, must be something about this Badminton Championship for all these football fans to watch. I would go, got to be something wrong with the rating system. That counter's got to be fucked up. Those are two entirely different sports.

Yeah. Dogs, get out of here. Get out of here. All right. Let me bring in these guys. Let me bring in these guys. Hello, guys. Hey, what's up, guys?

What's happening, guys? Hi, everybody. People are going to start crying that I'm talking about election shit again. I know. Even though it's like the most important thing ever. It's not. It's not. Your vote doesn't count.

It used to. No, it didn't. It never did. Yeah, it did. Until it's fucking popular or ranked choice. It's bullshit. Oh, okay. Ranked choice doesn't work either because then you get the most mediocre person

but it's better true but it's better than like the more retarded of i don't know mediocre i'll take i'll take mediocre over over chad over these two idiots repeal the 19th amendment oh yeah and i think you have to own property in order to vote that would solve all of our problems that's never caused any problems that would solve all of our problems that's never caused any problems. That would solve all of our problems. That's never caused any problems. Oh, only the people who own property can vote. Nobody's ever overthrown fucking countries based on that. We tried that, though, and it didn't work. All the stupid property owners voted to not have that anymore. I'm not trying the same shit again.

I'm expecting that to work. We got to just do money voting. You want to vote for a guy? Give me five bucks. All right. How much do you want to vote for him? I want to vote for him a hundred bucks. It can't go any worse because the candidates we produce are fucking absolutely

atrocious. You just take all that money that you got with voting, spend it on, give it to Israel. Cut out the middleman. That's funny. I'm trying to find this clip because I think you guys are going to get a kick out of it too. Biden's explaining how all the war find this clip because I think you guys would get a kick out of it too Biden's explaining how all the war money is good

because it's we're not giving them money we're spending the money in Arizona and Wyoming to give them weapons oh god yeah that's

I knew that's what was happening I have guys that I know that I want to give the money to and get stuff for me and not give it to Ukraine so they can get go ahead McConnell admitted that it's money laundering and get stuff for me and not give it to Ukraine. So they can get, go ahead. McConnell admitted that it's money laundering. Didn't McConnell come out and just go, don't worry guys, this money isn't going overseas.

We're just giving this right to the military industrial complex. That's money laundering, you shitheads. What are you talking about? Don't worry about it. We're laundering it. We know. That's the problem. And then they said, I read this week that the average age of the conscripted soldiers in Ukraine is now, because they ran out of young, dumb guys, is now 43.

I'm 43. So now this is a big problem for me. You mean I'm paying you to go kill guys exactly like me? This is fucking terrible. Hold on a second. There's Nazis in their 40s? This is hitting too close to home. I do not like that. That's funny.

That's funny. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yes. Good one. Good one. Can I just point out the elephant in the room real quick? Don't call me names. I lost a bet to the Reverend Bob Levy. That's why I have my hair frosted. Oh, God!

What the hell is this? I just got back from the salon. I just got this done. Wow! The stupid Chiefs beat the Bills in the fucking playoffs. Is there any cum in it? It looks like there's no cum in it. Not yet. I understand dyeing it, fucking playoffs. And so I had to do that. Is there any cum in it? It looks like there's no cum in it. You're a man of his word.

It looks like there's cum in it. Not yet. Man of his word. I understand dyeing it, but did you have to shape it in this super gay way? Was that part of the bet? Yeah, I mean,

I'm starting to chumble up a cover band, so I figured I might as well go all in. I mean, I get like, if the bet is you have to dye your hair, then Carl's like, all right, I guess I lost the bet.

And he comes back, hello, everybody. Look, I fulfilled my end of the bet. I ch to dye your hair, then Carl's like, all right, I guess I lost the bet. And he comes back, hello, everybody. Look, I fulfilled my end of the bet. A chumbo on the cover bet. At least you only have to learn one song. That's true. It's a pretty easy thing. So you guys,

have you been doing a lot of trade in creeps over there at the creep off? Things have been good? It never slows down, Dick. They're everywhere. It never slows down. They're everywhere they're everywhere man I got a I got in a game

that you guys might might be interested in playing it's called Voucher Pedophile it's a quote and you gotta read you gotta tell me

whether Vouch who was recently discovered to have lolly horse pornography on his computer oh right the lolly horse pornography on his computer. The lolly horse porn. You got to tell me if I had a nickel or a pedophile said this or a creep said this. You guys are creep experts, right?

Yeah. Here's the first one. I'm convinced that the path to a new, better and possible world is not capitalism. The path is socialism. Did Voucher a pedophile say that oh that is a pedophile you're correct that's you are the expert yeah that's straight off the press right there okay that's right in the news that's in every newsletter we want to fuck kids and not work you can't say who the pedophile is fucking children over here answer i want everyone

to be issued a child i bumped them up a little bit yeah i don't it's the tinnitus or my deafness no no um i have yet to hear a compelling moral or legal argument against possessing child pornography what do we think well is that a pedophile or did vaush say that keep in mind i'm making a distinction between those two answers just for the ease of the game yeah well that sounds that sounds overwhelmingly

one way so then I guess I'll say I guess I'll say Vouch said that Vouch said that because okay guys what do you think let's go around the horn here

I'm going push I'm saying they both said it oh yeah that's very possible that's a good point I'm gonna go the same I didn't know that was

always playing into the game then he is I'm going with the same thing same. I didn't know that was playing into the game. Then he is. I'm going with the same thing that Sean did and it's got to be Vouch because otherwise it's too out of the nose. You're all correct. That was Vouch that said that. But then Dick will also twist that too going like, well, I think that they're going to think

that. So then it'll be like, no, it's obviously a pedophile who said that. Okay, here's one. The way I see it, the age of consent exists out of respect for the numerous power imbalances older people have over younger people.

As those imbalances are redressed to the advent of socialism, the age of consent should be lowered. What do we think about that one? Wait, I have some

theme music here, I think, that I can... Yeah, all right. What do we think? Sean, what's your answer for that one? The age of consent should therefore be lowered. You threw a therefore in there.

See, I don't know Voush. Well, do you know all the pedophiles in the world? I do not. Okay, so? I do not. So, I don't know how you know how people talk yeah I'll go Valsh

you'll go Valsh okay Carl having no knowledge I gotta go pedophiles on that pedo for K the big K man I'm going pedophiles because no joke

they talk about socialism a lot I didn't realize that I didn't know that yeah see that's how you know that I don't know see me

a conservative libertarian always talks about like the structure of election integrity yes socialists are always talking about um age of consent yeah two very different types of people only socialists talking about the age of consent lowering it sorry lowering it okay uh that was vaush was that was the correct one. So I guessed right. Got it. Let me give you a ding here. I get a ding? Yeah. One more. One more is I really like horse dick. What do you think about that one?

This is a real quote. This is a real quote. It's too easy. A pedophile or Vouch? Who do you think said that? Again, I'm gonna go I'm gonna play against type and say it's a pedophile even though even though you know okay yeah okay uh what about you you fellas i gotta go vouch because i don't think pedophiles like horse dick i think they're like tiny little penises how old how old is the

horse oh good point is it a shetland pony uh is that younger because they're smaller is that the lolly they're just a very small beastie, Alan. Very small. I did look up that the average life of a horse is like 25 and they're no good after like 12. So the horse is also underage

in the Voush lolly horse pornography. Okay. Does that answer your question, Vinny? I'm going to go with Voush then. Voush, you are, one for Vinny and one for Sean.

You guys are the winners of that one. I said Vouch. Oh, you did? Yeah. So it was Vouch. It was right on the nose as it appeared. Okay.

Okay. Anyway, that was my game. It was a good game. It's a hot victory. Sure. What did you guys think of that? I liked it. I paid a hundred bucks

for that game. Vinny actually Vinny brought a game for you today, Dick. Oh, okay. That actually works out very well. I did. I feel like I have a case for you today, Dick. Oh, okay. That actually works out very well. I did. I feel like I have a case for Judge Dick, okay?

Okay. I want you to tell me, if you were the judge in this case, how you would rule. That's what I really want to know. I want to see if you are going to think along the lines of a district court judge in Detroit, Michigan. Oh, okay. That's what I want to find out, okay? They're pretty strict in Detroit. They run a tight ship. That's why the city

is flourishing and so prosperous. So you haven't been to Detroit in a while. It's the bread basket of America, isn't it? It's a manufacturing hub. Detroit, you could have predicted what happened to Detroit decades ago when the auto industry started. It was built

on a single industry. It was declining for like 60 years. Pretty easy prediction. I live in a place where photography was our entire economy. I know. Kodak. We didn't even know that digital cameras existed until like 2002.

We were like, what the fuck? People don't want film anymore? Right. Sean, I have bad news for you. Predicting things like that is very racist. So I don't do any predicting anymore. Why?

I'm talking about the auto industry. Everybody works for the auto industry or did there. I'm talking about any noticing at all. I don't, I'm like, I don't see, I don't see how, Colonel Klink or whatever that guy, I don't see nothing. I don't know. Oh, I see, I see nothing. I see nothing, I'm like, I don't see, I don't see how, Colonel Klink or whatever that guy, I don't see nothing.

I don't know. Oh, I see, I see nothing. I see nothing. I'm making a reference I don't know for people who don't even know what I'm talking about.

All right. I know the reference. I don't know where it's from. Hogan's Heroes. Wow. I don't think I've seen one episode ever. All right,

you guys. Maybe clips. Go, do your, do the game. All right. I'm going to give you the pertinent information on this case.

And you guys tell me what you think the judge ended up doing. The plaintiffs are, this is a civil case, mind you, not a criminal case. Brianna Kingsley, she's 40. She filed a small claims petition against her ex, William Wojcicki. He's 37 years old. Wajowski. He's 37 years old. And she put in a complaint on a handwritten affidavit requesting the return of her quote, human remains specimen in addition to $6,500 in damages. The complaint states the following, that William Wajowski retains possession of my surgically extracted testicles,

preserved in a mason jar that I kept in the refrigerator next to the eggs. We're talking about my nuts. I wanted them in my fridge, not his. These are quotes from the document. Yeah, you probably shouldn't refer to your testicles as nuts if you want the judge to take you seriously, but I don't want to. Carl, women can do whatever they want. What are you talking about? When it comes to women's testicles, they are in complete control

of their own bodies. That's what I understand. Good point. All right. Now, Wachowski, meanwhile, said he'd already tossed out the testicles and filed a counterclaim for the same amount,

claiming that he has been humiliated by the coverage of this quote nutty case. No, he didn't say that. Did he really say that? The Detroit News said that. Artistic license. Got it. Yeah. He said that this is humiliated him that he is

having to deal with all this and so he put in the counterclaim. Now, here's some more information. He told the judge that he tossed out the testicles in July. Quote, they were rotting in my fridge and it was disgusting. I've got food in there I wanted to eat, he said. She didn't keep them in a biohazard container

like she was supposed to. Can I just mention the crazy part about this? With the cocktail onions. I thought I did. They went into the fridge in January. He waited until July to throw them out. What were they, a conversation starter? Why were they in there for seven months?

No, she has no case. I mean, if she had time to get them out and put them somewhere else, I have no fucking sympathy. There's no way that they... Well, hold on though, Sean, because remember, they're both countersuing each other. So we got to figure out what's happening here. What if I told you that Brianna had a good reason to keep her testicles in the refrigerator in a mason jar?

I would want to hear it. Right. Okay. Here's what she said. She said, because I deal with trauma with comedy. Just like Shakespeare did. And Shakespeare said, don't bring me into this shit. That's a quote.

That's a good argument. I deal with trauma with comedy. I don't bring me into this shit that's a quote that's a good argument I deal with tribal comedy and it's funny I don't think the lady is nuts is that what Shakespeare said about it

yeah she deals with the trauma me thinks thou doth protest these nuts she's dealing with the trauma

of having her balls cut off by keeping them in the fridge as a joke in a mason jar yeah it's humor yeah but that's get it having her balls cut off by keeping them in the fridge as a joke? In a mason jar, yeah. It's humor.

Yeah, but that's... Get it? That is the kind of joke a woman would make, isn't it? Well, I don't know. I don't know. I've never heard one. I've never heard a woman

actually make a joke before. Me either. Chrissy Mayer's always threatening to, and I still... We'll keep an eye on her. We'll let you know if anything happens. Let me know, I got an alert system on my phone It's supposed to wake me up if Chrissy makes a joke

And I go, uh oh, is that a Is that a feather, an ebony alert? Oh no, it's a ginger alert So it hasn't happened? I'm just joking Have you seen that ebony alert? Have you guys seen that? No There's an ebony alert? Have you guys seen that?

No You haven't seen the ebony alert? They took black people off of the Amber Alert system And they gave them their own alert system Called Ebony Alert So now if a black girl gets kidnapped It says ebony alert Ebony alert And it's always black people

I'm serious They really did this They segregated the fucking Child kidnapping system Is it a Well is it a state system? Yeah Does every state have their own?

Like Probably only California Do they do it in California? Yeah I got an Amber Alert the other day But I have not ever seen an Ebony Alert That's the important one by the way The Amber Alert

Well you know like The Ebony ones only work in February too Like it only Works once a year. It's not as good. Well, you know, like the news coverage, why would the Ebony alert work if it's not covered on the news,

you know, that kind of stuff? They're always saying, like, you don't care, but no one cares about black people. We got a whole system where if something bad happens to black people, we're going to say, it's black people, definitely.

Just say, your house is on fire alert. That's a better... Sure, okay. Sorry, i interrupted your uh the nuts i don't feel interrupted i don't feel interrupted but i do want to point out that after they broke up here's some pertinent information william was granted a restraining order against brianna apparently brianna has a history of being a bad roommate, folks. I'm not holding 20-20. She pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and was sentenced to two months in the slammer after she pulled a knife on her then-roommate, also a trans woman, on Christmas. Trans on trans crime, man.

Trans violence. Just messing with all the stats. All kinds of female rapists popping up now. There's only one trans, right? Yes. On Earth? No. Yes. All kinds of female rapists There's only one trans right Yes On earth No Yes Dick on earth Have they re-read the bible

So it's trans now It's like the first woman was Oh I hope they did Yeah probably God is trans and stuff Right Yeah there's one trans She left her balls in the fridge

As a joke Yes And the guy threw them away and now she's suing him in an attempt to fuck him

because she has no comedy material left yeah she never wrote a second joke she needed those she threw all her jokes out she's the chumbawamba

of joke tellers right she had the opportunity to go back to the property after he filed this restraining order and she removed

her personal items but she left the testicles. Right. Oh. That's where she loses. She was trying to Costanza her way back in. Yeah. Right. Leave the balls behind.

Yep. Right. So if you're the judge, who wins here? Yes. That's the question. I would throw everyone in prison if I was the judge. But aren't there two suits? Yeah.

Yes. Yes. They're going in prison and the lawyers are going into prison and I was the judge. But aren't there two suits? Yes, they're going in prison and the lawyers are going into prison and I'm taking his balls and putting them on her. Oh, she would like that.

I'm going to Solomon it. You got two balls? Cutting one ball off, putting it on her. Yeah. That's it. Case dismissed. Solomon.

Yeah. I like it. Ball Solomon it. I like it. The papers would love it because they'd have the headline. Dick Masterson, testicle Solomon, rules like it. The papers would love it because they'd have the headline. Dick Masterson, testicle Solomon,

rules in court. She's suing for him throwing out her balls. Yes. He's suing for just embarrassment, like defamation type stuff. Because everyone now knows that he was banging a trans woman.

Yeah. Right. Anybody who ever came to his house that he made lunch for had a reason to be upset, boy. That's embarrassing. Well, I think we should all do this.

Like, let's get some fake balls, like the pet rock of our generation. Fake freezer balls. Oh, I think they... We just have like a lunch thing in there and people come over like, what's that thing in there?

Like, oh, that's my old roommate's balls. Hey, remember when they used to put fake flies in ice cubes? Yes! Exactly! Just drop that in someone's drink. Is Spencer still around? Someone get Spencer's gifts on the phone. But what are they doing with all these testicles that are getting cut off?

I mean, we don't have to make fake balls. We can get real testicles. I'm assuming the doctors play hacky sack. Probably. That's what I mean. They could be making another revenue stream from this. Maybe. Maybe. Well, I have to think she loses.

I don't know about whether he wins that or not. How much, how, how did he, how embarrassed did he get? What's his, you know? I don't know. If I'm him right now, I'm pretty red. My face is pretty red. Yeah. I mean, but how much can he show, you know, in court?

Like how much, how much did it impact him? I bet they gave it to her. Because, you know, trans men automatically. The only thing I think, I think she loses. I don't think she has a... Okay.

What happened? Good news. Good news, folks. Sanley prevailed. The judge told them both to get the fuck out. Oh, good. Probably the same judge

that Maddox had who's racist. Well, the judge was like, how the fuck am I supposed to put a value on your testicles Your rotting testicles that were in a fridge And then he also pointed out And this was my favorite part

The judge cited that She had mentioned that her surgery was at the Henry Ford Hospital in March 2022 And cost $20,000 And that the state covered the charge Because she's disabled He was like You're not going to gain anything off of cost $20,000 and that the state covered the charge because she's disabled. He was like,

you're not going to gain anything off of more than you've already gained off of the system, ma'am. I would argue that the system kind of did him dirty. Solid point. I would agree. These people are looking for a TLC show, right? That's why this whole thing exists.

They're probably in cahoots. Because I would watch this TV show. Right. Where's my balls? Yeah. There's all kinds of names. Every trans person and ask them how they treat their balls now that they got

them chopped off. What percentage of trans people do you think keep them? Keep them. Right. It could be like ball hoarders, the show. I don't know. Maybe. Ball hoarders.

What are you doing with all these testicles? You're not even using the ones you have. And you're going up getting more. I'm going to use them someday. I just want to keep them safe. Trans people are very attached to their testicles. I'll bet it's under. Not literally. I'll bet it's under 10%.

10% you think, people? I'm emotionally attached. I think most people, if they don't want them, then they really don't want them. But yeah. Do women keep their tits

when they get a mastectomy or whatever? I don't think so. You can ask Suttering John's son. Oh, really? I don't know about

Suttering John's son. Wait, what? Yeah, Suttering John is a trans son. Oh, really? I don't know about Sutter and John's son. Yeah, Sutter and John is a trans son. Oh, what? Gotcha. He just made an announcement, Dick, that he's no longer upset when you make fun of his kids. That's why I'm bringing this up.

Who's making fun of his kids? Right, right. I don't know if I'd make fun of his kids. I would definitely not now. I'd lose my bank account. I am shocked that he got laid, but... Stuttering John? Yeah. I guess he could have. He was on this Howard Stern show.

The kid is exactly as old as the last time he was on Howard Stern. That's funny. What a brave announcement. So he threw his kids out into the crossfire, apropos of nothing, I guess. Hey, everybody, I just want to have an announcement to make. I no longer am bothered if you make fun of my kids. What? Have at it.

Well, I'll tell you why this whole thing came about. He was in Atlantic City this past weekend, and a whole bunch of people who are fans of this show and his show and whatever is going on were all met in this place. And this guy Rocco, who we know from Colorado, did the stuttering Johnny interview thing.

You know, Johnny used to go up to celebrities and ask them crazy questions. So he brings him in. He's got his phone out. John thinks they're taking a selfie, but he's actually video. Great trick. He asked Johnny, he goes, has your son ever queefed in your face? Oh my God. John wanted to fight everyone.

He's like, let's go outside and fight everyone. So then he realized that he's battling the entire internet. He's like, you know what? Nevermind. You can make fun of my kids.

I don't care anymore. They're not making fun of your kids, you idiot. They're making fun of you. Correct. Yes. God. That's an amazing question.

Yeah. I'll send you the video. It's fantastic. Oh my God god it's so wild it's such a heavy-handed way to try to create a relationship with your kids because that's what i think this is like he'll go back to his kids and go hey they were making fun of you but i defended you right your daddy's got you this guy asked if you'd ever queefed in my face and i want you to let you know that you can i I would never let that happen.

Does he not have a relationship with his kids? It's speculated that he doesn't, although he claims that he does. He did make the statement just a couple weeks ago. I'm not making this up. Someone asked if his son had a penis. I don't even know if that works. I think they take something from your arm or something. I don't know how they do that. But he literally

said, my son is happy with his vagina. Well, yeah. So. That's a. Now we know. These are just sentences that I just never really thought I would hear in my lifetime, you know? Really?

Yeah, I mean. You're going to hear some more even crazier stuff, Sean. I know, I know, I know. Give it 10 years, Sean. 10 years, buddy. Oh, I'll be dead do you think um do you think the neo vaginers havers are happier than the neo penis havers oh i would think so yeah i would think so too it's guys can talk themselves into like like if a guy goes blows

a bunch of money on a car that he doesn't need he brings it home or you know a toy or whatever he's like yeah it's awesome i I'm going to use it every day. Right. Like, this is my new life, you know? Right. But contrary-wise, women are never happy

about anything. So I would think, you know, they're like, well, it's a nice penis, but it's not big enough. Yeah. And like, science is still like

not there for making the penises, right? Oh, I don't think it works either way, but also... Well, I'd say it's easier to dig a hole to build a bridge, Carl. But I agree. What do you say to science? What do you,

what exactly do you mean by that? Just based on what Dick was just saying there, a woman never goes out and buys one pair of shoes and then is happy for the rest of her life. Exactly. They have to keep collecting more and more and more. So you got to imagine like that, that song,

detachable penis. Women are probably like trying on different penises, different outfits before they go out. They'd probably be happier like that. I would. I got it. Like a vacuum lock system. Sounds amazing.

Okay. Do you have any other stories Vinny from the James Dean collection we have these five fetuses I'm interested in these eco-friendly and sustainable right that's

good selling points do you prefer a full harness or Velcro man what do you prefer alright I got two more stories for you guys

one of my favorite things that we come across are the people who try to use technology to be perverts and fail at it. They're my favorite. So I'm going to tell you a great story out of Houston, Texas. A guy named Pierre Holt, he's 32 years old. He works inside of a store. They did not name the store here, so I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I have a pretty good idea.

February 10th, a woman goes into the restroom inside of said store and apparently has some trouble flushing. She's on keto or something. She's trying to fucking flush. That's not in the article. I just want to point out.

I'm speculating. Some trouble flushing. Keto. Yeah, well, that's the issue. She can't get the turd down. She's upset. And so she doesn't want to go tell anybody. But what she decides to do is she sees that there's a pen inside of the bathroom. And what I'm guessing is, you ever go to a shitty place where they have the clipboard on the walls? Like, I clean the bathroom every hour.

Yes. There's a pen hanging from it. So she goes to leave a note. And as she's looking at the pen, ladies and gentlemen, she realizes it's a camera. Whoa. Wait, the pen was a camera? Yes. It was a recording device.

Oh. When the woman realized that this thing was not exactly, wasn't actually a pen, she took it outside of the bathroom and she's holding it up and the clerk sees that she has holding up his camera pen.

This guy, Pierre Holt, realizes, oh shit, the gig is up. So he goes and tries to grab the pen from her and she fucking bobs and weaves. She gets out of there with the pen and calls the police. And guess what happens, folks?

When the cops show up, they found videos of at least 100 different people using this bathroom, this public bathroom inside of what I'm guessing is a shitty place that has to have the thing on the wall that you have to clean at every hour. But not only that, this guy, Pierre Holt, made the cardinal mistake of the hidden camera. And this gets so many of these people caught, Dick. They always have the one video. If you go on to the scroll of all the videos, you go to video 0001. Oh, no.

It's always the fucking guy trying to adjust the camera to get the right angle. Oh, my God. Dude. Yeah. Whenever I read these articles, I'm always like, I'd be such a better pervert than all these idiots. All right.

Got it. I'd be so better at that. You guys need to write like an anarchist cookbook, but for perverts. Yes. You know, like how to make bombs with paraffin wax, but like this is how you put the, this is the best camera.

This is the best place. This is the story to tell. And for God's sake, delete the image of you aligning it with the woman's privates. And Dick, I do give advice on the show, on the creep off all the time. And one of the things I always tell people is it's not deleted until it's

written over. People don't realize this. They think that they just delete stuff and it's gone. No, no, no, no, no,

no, no. They get rid of that hard drive. They find everything. It's still there. Yeah. Yeah. Good point. stuff and it's gone no no no no no no make it run on that hard drive they find everything it's still there yeah yeah good point sound advice from your buddy carl especially child porn you gotta write over that twice right carl yes a lot of wedding photos a lot of videos of cats straight straight pornography oh yeah oh man loaded up i don't know where to find it, but man, if I did, I would.

Oh, my gosh. Those milks. That's what I've been to. Over women. I got into watching strangers poop in an Aldi's or whatever the fuck it is. Well, I looked up this pen on Amazon that says right on there, not for recording people shitting. So I don't think he read the instructions at all.

Well, apparently they must have an update on it Because it worked This guy got some good footage Good point Good point How many creeps are happening Like any given the day What percentage of us are creeps

From your guys' You know Research One in a hundred A lot more than One in ten It's more than I care to know Right

I don't even want to think about it Everybody's got their fucking creepy thing. Well, I'll tell you this. I'll give you an example. I'm holding right here a letter that I received from a fan of WATP who's in prison because he murdered his girlfriend and left her in his basement for seven

months and the smell got so bad the neighbors discovered it. That guy wrote to you? He writes to us all the time. What did he say? Give me money. Oh, dude. So he goes through how lonely he is and how bored he is

and he goes through all this stuff. He doesn't have access to the internet, but he has access to some podcasts and stuff like that. But mostly it's, here's how you can give me money. Here's how you can fund my account. Here's what I want to spend the money on.

Please send me pictures of your wife naked. Yes, and a lot. He wants pictures of our review girls. He wants updates on that shit. Is there any way to make sure he's in there for longer? Yeah. He left us in the basement for seven months. Can we send him some cocaine or something?

Like, oh, whoop, he asked for it. I don't know. That's crazy. He needs some Febreze. I feel like he's going to be in there for a while because this happened during COVID, like in 2020, and he hasn't been sentenced yet or tried. He's still just in lockup.

Oh, wow. Which I'm good with, actually. As long as you can write us, we're fine. The girlfriend, well, I don't support it, but it's not my top 10 issue guys killing their girlfriends right okay well i i always say the problem is is leaving it in the basement right what's that you're bothering your neighbors and stuff that's what i'm talking about yes um wow that's cool what a nice piece of memorabilia for you someone actually sent me actually uh mike boudet from

sword and scale sent me over the video footage of the police going to this guy's apartment when the body was discovered. And the police officer walks right up and this guy's sister is sitting there. And he's like, all right, I'm going to go check out the crime scene in the basement. She goes, yeah, if you want.

I wouldn't. It's not great. And the next thing the cop goes, let's get a detective down here. Yeah, the cop immediately puts it on and is like, oh yeah, never mind. Actually sounds pretty gruesome. Ah, okay.

Yeah, you were right about that. So funny. Man. Did you guys see the cop where an acorn fell on his car? No. I want to watch it. Do you think he was going to be shot at? Oh, yeah.

We have to. Please, please, let's watch it. I do know what you're talking about. He went out like 20 rounds or something, right? Oh, my God. Total mag dump. Diving for cover. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, wild, like fucking Yosemite Sam.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That is fucking hilarious. I believe he yelled shots fired shots fired and he yelled I'm hit at 1.2 if you're doing it for your show you guys can save it we'll watch it after you guys go away oh it's the greatest cop cam video ever Carl

you gotta watch it tomorrow I did see some of that on Twitter actually okay what's the next story I got one more story for you guys and this story is about a lawyer from Texas everybody he's 39 years old and his name is Mason Herring I got one more story for you guys. And this story is about a lawyer from Texas, everybody. He's 39 years old and his name is Mason Herring. And he takes family planning very seriously.

Gosh, I'm sure. I'm sure he's fun. What is he with these guys? He pleaded guilty to a serious crime of injury to a child and assault on a pregnant person as part of a plea agreement. Now, he did face the initial charge, which was more serious of assault to a child and assault on a pregnant person as part of a plea agreement now he did face the initial charge which was more serious of assault to induce abortion is what he was going to be charged with but you know he's a lawyer he was able to plead it down talk it down so here's where it started probably farted against him i was warning her about the stairs that's what i was doing and i slipped see what happen? This is what can happen.

So in March 2022. Babies come from the toilet, so I thought it would be happier with his friends. My God. I was testing the fetus's durability. Yeah, sorry. When you get done with the banana, where do you put the peel? Because we just put it at the top of the stairs. I don't know.

That's how I grew up. I don't know. It's a cultural thing. You're Protestant. I'm Baptist. You don't get it. Listen, I grew up. I don't know. It's a cultural thing. You're Protestant. I'm Baptist. You don't get it. I forget to put my roller skates away. It happens. What do you want me to do?

I was playing with marbles. What do you want? It spilled all over. I hope it's like Home Alone and he's got paint cans on string. Welcome to Planned Parenthood, you filthy animal. There's a bull in the house. Mr. Magoo abortion. I just don't understand why people don't find these stories funny.

I just don't get it. It's like, we're the assholes. I know. You should keep that dye job, Carl. Oh, yeah? You like it? Yeah, you look two or three months younger. It's great. three months younger. It's great.

Three months younger. Dude, I was going to say it makes it look older. It makes it look like... Dude, I was telling my stylist today, I'm getting like a pork pie hat or something. I got to become a hipster or something. Yeah.

What are those like hipster hats that the guys wear? I got to do something different. Yeah. I'm hiding this shit. How long will it last? Have you thought about just chopping your own head off?

Every day. Oh, God. Okay, let's get back to Mr. Herring for a second. They went on vacation five days in West Texas with their kids. During the trip,

Miss Herring, the wife, Christy, said her husband told her that she needed to drink more water to stay hydrated. After all, she's expecting. And on March 17th, after the couple returned to Houston from their trip, Ms. Herring said her husband brought her breakfast and a cup of

water. By that time, I was about this big. But unlike a juice with breakfast, you'll drink water. Here's what's so suspect about this. Miss Herring said that her husband had asked for a separation and that they were not living together. But yet he was still showing up to bring her breakfast

and a glass of water. What an idiot. That's suspect. Yeah. It felt really weird, she said. Woman alert. Yeah. Woman alert. Okay. Woman alert.

Okay. All right. She goes, it was weird. He's asking for separation. So that's suspect, but black people voting more for Biden than Obama. You're fine with that. Okay. Please.

Different gays, man. Different gays. What do you love? Investigate voting. Who for? Old racist white man that made a super criminal bill. I think it's more an indictment on Trump, perhaps. Oh, yeah.

Black people hate a fucking fat billionaire acting like a jackass. They really hate that. All I'm saying is every time Dick brings something in, I go look into it, and it's always bullshit. But then I give you that site, and you're like, this is trash. I didn't make that site. In the worst, in the dumbest possible way. And I know it took me a while to figure out what was happening. What?

It's because you're not finding these things. I got it. Vinny sends them to me. No, people. I do. The dumbest listeners we have send in stuff. Can I ask a quick question, Sean? Sure.

Do you use Google? Mm-hmm. Okay, that's the answer right there. Yes. The thing that no one knows, and I'm being serious right now, is that the censorship is being censored. No one knows that censorship is happening everywhere because it's being censored that we're censoring everything.

I'm not joking with you. You look shit up on Google, they will give you every result that matches the mainstream narrative. Yeah. You can't find the real information. You know that's true. No, no, you have to prove, you've got to show me that. Show you what? The stuff that doesn't exist?

That's what I mean. Like, it's like, oh, it doesn't exist. You've got, there's, you, look, like a a guy like people can't keep a phone call a secret let alone like people leak this stuff when it's like no they're totally secret i know it's crazy isn't it what's that amazing you can't even keep a lab leak a secret yeah amazing right that's true you can't just don't believe it though you can't keep anything a secret like believe me it it will get out there it will get out there people like you go that's fake no yeah you it's out there all the time how's trump oh that bitch money for raping everything oh i don't i don't know about that

no it's look it's uh you're gonna argue that the frogs aren't gay sean are you gonna tell me the frogs aren't gay i got you there you there. There's plenty of info out there from the people who are directly involved in whatever you want to talk about. Robin is the only Muppet with another Muppet

hand of his ass. Here's why this is debunked. Here's why this didn't happen. Like this, like... Sean, you're debunking me! I'm not trying to. Stop debunking me! Okay, what's the...

Hey, Sean, what's yaskin' and see is how you do a podcast. I know, I to. Stop debunking me. Okay, what's the... Hey, Sean. Yes, and? See, that's how you do a podcast. I know, I know. But see, I'm riled up today because I've... He's all upset. I'm riled up.

Because of Maddox. George riles me up. Did Maddox win your biggest creep of the universe award? Yeah, we need to talk about that. Yeah, he's in the Hall of Fame. He's going into the creep-off Hall of Fame.

He's going to be in there with fame. He's going to be there with such great names as Pamper Chew, Chris Chan, Maddox, Vince McMahon, Vince McMahon, Crystalia,

Crystalia, Ezra Miller. He's going in the hall, baby. Wow. And, uh,

would love for you guys to join us for that episode if you're into it. Yeah, definitely. Sean Moore riled up. Oh, what the fuck? It's asking me to extend the call.

Get the fuck out of here. If you upgraded, your call will be expended. Oh, fuck you. Oh, come on. Yeah. That'd be great. Oh, yeah. That'd be great.

Yes, please. That'd be fun. Maddox made a four-hour, five-year insane magnum opus about three people he wishes he could fuck right now two of his ex-girlfriends and me yeah it's the most creepiest thing possible just full of lies and he thinks if he phrases things in a clever way and uses specific words then he's free and clear and the law goes no we know what you're doing nice try well. Well, he also talks about how often he's brought up on the Dick show during a certain period of time without explaining

that there was a $20 million lawsuit going on. He doesn't bring that part up at that time. So he's just like, and this guy's obsessed with me. He's talking about me at every episode. It's like, yeah, you're actively suing me for $20 million. What do you want? You were finding new ways to shit your pants every week. And they're talking about me non-stop just because i was finding new ways to

shit in my pants every week yeah yeah fuck all right anyway so this guy wants his uh wife to have an abortion is that what we're talking about i guess we were oh no he's got a he's got a uh like a 20 year old uh you know bedside alarm going off for some reason. Oh, weird. Hey, Sean, fun fact about the Hall of Fame vote. We put it out there for the listeners. If the people who support our Patreon, we let them make nominations. And someone nominated Maddox, so we put him into the vote.

And the other people that he was up against were Uday Hussain. And who's the British pedophile? What was his name? Saville? Jimmy Saville? Yeah, Jimmy Saville. He beat out Uday Hussain and Jimmy Saville

to make his creep off all the fame. He's worse. We're not kids, so Saville, I'll have dinner with him. I don't care. I'll go have a beer with him.

I'm not getting raped. He's dead now. I'll still go have a beer with him. You know what? I'm a nice guy. Sure. Dead or not, dig his ass up. Let's go out.

As long as he pays. All right. I don't know what to say to that. For dinner, that is. Yeah. Fuck. So, okay. This woman drinks the water, guys.

Yeah. He brings her the water. It's a little cloudy, but she drinks it. She mentions it's cloudy. She thought it was calm, so she was into it. She says it doesn't taste real great. He's like, nope, chug it. You need the water.

Chug it. It's the cloud. Totally dehydrated. So she ends up going to the hospital for painful cramps, bouts of diarrhea, and bleeding, according to the complaint. It sounds like a red herring. Because her name, you know? Yeah. But it's not.

And you know what? He's like, it's because you're not drinking enough of this stuff. You need to be more hydrated. Oh, man. I want to make sure our baby's okay. Wink. I brought our own IV from home. The good stuff.

You don't have to shitty hospital IV. Right, right. So every fucking day, this guy's coming over here trying to get her to drink stuff. And she's so suspicious. She's not drinking it. Right, right. the biggest red flag in the world. Yeah, that's odd. This motherfucker never does any chores is her point. So she goes out and digs through the garbage and finds a label for this drug. It's a Mexican version of an American drug

that contains misoprostol. It's the main ingredient and it causes cramping, bleeding, and it's used to induce medical abortions. Wow. So he went to a Mexican pharmacy, got it, brought it back, and was dosing his wife with it because he didn't want to have another baby because he was getting divorced. Now, the worst part about this is she still had the kid.

And now the kid is wildly fucked up. Oh, no. Really? Yeah. 10 weeks premature. Had to spend 117 days during the first nine months of her life in the hospital. They said the daughter's 18 months old now and has developmental delays that have required her to get special treatment and therapies. She goes to therapy eight times a week.

Did you see that in the article? Seems excessive. That sounds like a Beatles song. Who does anything eight times a week did you see that in the article seems excessive that sounds like a beatle song who does anything eight times a week she must be a great lay well she's 18 months old guys well you know eventually i kind of fell for this guy babe because i i actually thought about doing this once i tried something similar back in the day. With Ozempic? You tried to roofie a date with Ozempic? It's happening a lot.

This is fucking outrageous. No, man. I had a pregnancy scare a long, long, long, long time ago, and I was like, oh, shit, what do I do? And all I was thinking was like, Pop Rocks and Coke. Let's make this shit happen. Oh, Jesus. It doesn't. oh shit what do I do and all I was thinking was like pop rocks and coke let's make this shit happen interesting oh Jesus

I didn't know that worked it doesn't it turns out it doesn't it doesn't just ruin the shirt well you know I like a plan just get some hyper

it's a sympathetic plan we like procedural you know dramas read the law and order I mean all of those oh god now he's got a little

retarded kid oh man so if you enjoy stories like this and like to laugh and fuck up things that's fucked up little retarded kid. Oh, man. So if you enjoy stories like this and like to laugh at fucked up things, TheCreepOff.com, please. We do it every Monday 1 p.m. Eastern time on The Creep Off

channel and on the Who Are These Podcasts YouTube channel as well. But the real thing I want to talk to you guys about aside from The Creep Off, that silly thing that we do, is the live show at Largo, Florida, just outside of Tampa,

March 22nd at the central park performing arts center. We will be there. Producer, Chris trucker, Andy, me, Vinny, Lucy type box,

Jenny jingles, Dr. Steve, Cardiff electric top lobster, two key. Dr. Steve's going to be there. What's that?

They have a cast of characters like this? Yeah, they do. And also, the Revenge of the Cis Guys. Royce and Mersh are going to be there. So, WNTPlive.com. You can get your tickets to come see us. March 22nd. It's going to be a blast. We're going to be there all weekend.

We'll be hanging out. I saw you playing the reason that I'm not going on your Cringe of the Week show. Yeah. I saw you playing the reason that I'm not going on your cringe of the week show. Yeah. Because I'm going to the National Puzzling Championships. Oh, that's that? My girlfriend and I are a team in the National Puzzling Championships. Which is actually cool, but you were making fun of it.

No, I don't think it's cool, but I expected Vinny because Vinny's looking at his face Like he doesn't think it's that cool either Vinny it's First of all it's a sport And it's a competition Of puzzlers To do the fastest puzzle So what they put the same puzzle In front of everybody

And whoever gets it done The fastest wins Yeah it's all basically The coolest people From around the country Who are the best puzzlers. It's basically like kung fu fighting, you know, where the best of the best meet up,

like Bloodsport or Mortal Kombat. So it's basically words with friends, but you're meeting in person, not doing it on your phone, is what you're saying. You're playing words. No, it's lamer than that. They're putting pictures of kittens together fast.

Oh, I hope there are pictures of kittens. That would be fantastic. What I don't want is like a cherry blossom festival. That would be horrible. Oh, they're actual puzzles. Yes. I thought they were. Like logic puzzles?

No, I can't do those. Exactly. I'm thinking something that's a little more challenging. No, that's way too dorky. Kyle, it's a 500-piece puzzling, national puzzling world championships for doing fast at a puzzle. A 500-piece puzzle. You're missing WATP ROTC Live

to put a puzzle together. Hey, listen, do you know what it means to partner? Because I might have to do that. Sean, what do you say, buddy? No, it's very hard to get into. It's very hard to get into. It's very hard to get into. There's no tickets, and you can't spectate. It is streaming, though, so if you watch the stream,

you might see us dominate. I'm going to be so loaded on every stimulant known to fucking man. I'm talking Adderall, cocaine, adrenochrome, everything. I will have a fetus arm. I don't care what drugs you're doing. That event's gayer than my hair we watched last year's and the first thing I saw

was a very gay guy who's is pretending to be straight and has a wife with a with a gold Mickey Mouse ears and I thought oh no

this is gonna be anyway whblive.com or WhoAreThese.com. You can get tickets to our show March 22nd. Or the Puzzling Champions. Or do you watch me puzzling? Dude, can we just

put up the stream of him puzzling during the live show? I'm going to open our puzzle and just throw it. Right? Oh, wow! I win! Do you know how many piece puzzles so hard 500 500 yeah i'd be slapping the pieces all over the place making a big mess and just like acting like i'm trying to defuse a bomb when's the last time you did a puzzle no but i don't know for me during the pandemic

because my wife and i were just cooped up in the house and we had nowhere to go yeah so we started doing puzzles but it was never like let's see how fast we could do it it was just like a thing like you know find a piece every couple days a little bit like an amateur at puzzles that's why you don't that's why you don't get it no see like 80s girl does puzzles my sister-in-law does puzzles like and i just good women do puzzle you got to get yourself a woman that does puzzles oh Oh, man. Keep those hands busy. Can't be shopping. If they're puzzling, they ain't shopping. That's what my dad always said.

Except for more puzzles. Puzzling ain't shopping. Do they sell puzzles at Target? I'm just wondering. No, that's a mistake. Do not let them go to Target. Wow, I know that rule. That's the problem. At the thrift store, they also a mistake. Do not let them go to Target. That's a- Well, I know that rule. That's the problem. At the thrift store, they also sell puzzles.

You go there. They don't have all the pieces, but- The most frustrating puzzles ever. But that will also keep them busy. Trying to find the other- Keep them busy, yeah. There isn't a single quarter piece. What the fuck?

All right, guys. It's good to talk to you again. Thanks for having us. Yeah, let's definitely get the creep off Hall of Fame episode scheduled with inducting Maddox. Yes, yes.

And thank you, Carl, for talking some sense into Sean. Oh, yeah. Who's towing the CNN party line over here. Mr. CNN,

we call it. I go to the mainstream. I Googled that thing you were talking about? It turns out that according to Google... No, not Google. You can go to... God damn. Where do you go? You go to various fact-check sites. You listen

to the people... Whitehouse.gov? What are you talking about? No! Whitehouse.gov? Try it. Try it one time. Do you hear what happened to Susan Wojcicki's son? Who's Wojcicki? She's the CEO of YouTube. What happened to her son? You know how she spent

like all her, all that time trying to sanitize the world for the kids? Yeah. And like ruining our lives. Yeah. Ruining Ralph's life

and all these creators' lives to just make the world better for the kids. There's a good setup. Her son killed himself. Oh god. That's horrible. I'm laughing because it's so sad.

He died of a drug overdose or he killed himself or something. Oh man. He didn't want to live in a brighter new world. Maybe instead of deleting accounts you could call your son because he's having a rough time. How old is he?

He wants to check out. He was like 19 or something. Rough time for kids. That's when you need parental support, not parental deleting people's accounts and shit. Did they not have, was it alleged that they don't have a relationship or, you know?

No, no. He was a big, it turned out he was a big fan of Fat Watch. He used to watch it all the time on my YouTube channel. And then he wrote in the note. She took it away. I have no reason to live without the dick show.

He said, I'm not watching fucking Rumble for my dick fix. Yeah. I'm out. Peace out. That's unfortunate. I got extra fentanyl in this coke. That's unfortunate. He was at UC Berkeley and it looks like he OD'd on fentanyl.

Oh, man. Remember how Trump was saying he wanted to build a wall so no fentanyl would come in? And then Susan Wojcicki was part of a conspiracy to get him not elected? And then this happened. Isn't that ironic? You gotta build it in Canada too. Yeah, sure.

You gotta build... I mean, you're gonna... Hey, if we're allowed to build walls, we're gonna build them everywhere. Don't worry about it. As you should. Yeah. I want one all on California. As you should. Seriously, keep you assholes in. Storage containers, as far as the eye can see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just thought that was a little bit ironic. I know a guy who just, he was just hired on by the sheriff's department. They all start in prisons, right? So he's like out at wayside. That makes sense. Yeah. And he said for about the first, I don't know,

five or six weeks, there was virtually an overdose death every day. Because of all goddamn fentanyl. Fentanyl in the prison, yeah. Gotta legalize this shit

so we know there's no fentanyl in fucking beer, soda. Yeah. 100% safe. Yeah. It's fucking, it's everywhere.

Not yet. Get some illegal Mexican beer with fentanyl in it. If Susan had her way we would yeah well you know I just

I just personally I really hate when the worst tragedies you can imagine happen to people who have fucked me and my friends

over for years you know who have made it their personal mission in life for no reason I get it for no reason

I get it to fuck me over to fuck my friends over. It's just, I couldn't be more affected emotionally in a negative way.

Wouldn't it be better if it happened to her though? No. Like, no. Because she has to live forever. She has to live with it. Yeah. The family's totally destroyed.

Yeah. You can never overcome that. Well, and I had to re-upload our live show from Philly because Dick had it on his YouTube channel and then I had to upload it to my channel

and it took hours. It was a very large file. I mean, hours. Yeah. Hours that you could spend calling your kids and seeing how they're doing so they don't turn to drugs. Right.

I could have been coloring my hair. Right. All right, we got to go. This thing's going to run out. Goodbye. Bye, guys. See you, guys. Bye.

What a nice couple of guys. I like those guys. You think people say that after they see that? Like, wow, what a nice bunch of guys I like those guys You think people say that After they see that Like wow what a nice bunch of guys Yeah Well probably not Probably not

I don't know Well that was fun Yes I would love to be there To induct Jerkoff Let's see here Bullshit

Bullshit Bullshit I got some comments Bullshit Bull bullshit oh it's already 1 30 damn the dogs are awfully quiet aren't they i know i don't know what they're doing they're doing wore themselves out too mad that guy's dead what who's that he's a very famous youtuber and it was pretty funny like the second his death came out this guy posted about how he was a rapist and like all this stuff yeah and i was impressed with the alacrity of like the immediacy of the accusations say again as soon as we found out he was dead this big youtuber yeah some guy posted about how he was a rapist and all kinds of like

you know crazy accusations. Really? And five years ago, you were still like, oh my God, I can't. Why would you say that right after his death? Right. But this time it was just like, boom. Yeah. Which I like.

You do. Okay, well, you have just a bunch of accusations. Any, you know, verification of anything? Yeah, any merit? I don't know. I don't care either. I mean, the guy's dead. It's a, yeah, yeah.

But it's funny that it's like, that's the level we're at. I know. Boom, dead, boom, dead, boom, dead, rave. Boom, dead, rave. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on, come on. I know.

We can push it. I know. You should have had that typed out in advance. There was a delay where you were typing out all that shit. You should have had it typed up. You mean like as soon as it hit, did it take an hour or something?

Yeah, yeah. It took him some time to type it up. It's probably too long. We're going to have some kind of blockchain thing where an Oracle hits, death, boom, hit pieces come out. Everybody's going to have a hit piece at some point because you can just say anything. We get to enjoy ours.

You think? Well, we're alive while it's happening. Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people don't have that. That's true. We're very, yeah, yeah. A lot of people don't have that. That's true. We're very... Yeah.

We're blessed in that way. Yeah. Very fortunate. Hebitude says, if you still have this email chain, I think you might have some gold in it. I don't think that's been covered. Oh, wait.

He says... Oh, it's something about the Maddox thing. He's the guy with the timeline. I got to send it to you. He sent it to me. Oh, yeah. No, I have the timeline. Oh, you have it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting, right? No shit. Yeah. He's the guy with the timeline. I gotta send it to you. He sent it to me. Oh, yeah. No, I have the timeline. Oh, you have it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting, right? No shit.

Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. What was I gonna say? I was gonna say something about... Doc Ryu says medical fat watch. This is the height weight. Oh, we haven't heard from him in forever. No, it's been a while. Yeah.

Because he messaged me on Snapchat, which I never use. Oh, really? So then I... He used to call in occasionally. Yeah, yeah, he did. Yeah. This is the height, weight, and BMI of a, quote, healthy female I saw at work. Oh, well.

Fat Watch. Today in fat news. A healthy female at work that I saw at work the other day. Note the height and weight are both stated. This is because my medical assistants could not reach over her to adjust the slide for her height on the wall. The weight is stated. Well, because I don't have a scale in my office that will go that high. Okay, he includes a picture this what do you think

what's your over under guess on this oh i don't know it is 7, stated. Uh-huh. Weight, 552 pounds. Stated. Stated. I mean, that's 552? She's that sure of it? Ain't no guess. Stated? No, I weighed myself yesterday.

I'm 552. If that thing says anymore, it's wrong. We accidentally took a detour on a truck way station on the way in, so I know exactly what it is. 552 is a pretty solid number however i assume women state their weight like i state my drinking and this number may be slightly skewed yeah thoughts and prayers dr rue wow wow you're lying about 550 what wow well bmi 86. Can you have 100 BMI? I guess, yeah. There's no end to that scale, right? And live?

Yeah, I mean, not very long. 552. Let's see. 552 divided by 140. Oh, that's 3.9 tungstens, bro. That's a lot of Wow Some serious tungsten

Some serious tea you're packing Oof Oof No low tea there You're gonna need a back brace to deliver that one Oof Wow, thank you Gonna need to borrow fucking Eric's forklift

That fucking clown. Yeah. 28 H cups. They're real and they're spectacular. Oh, please be a woman. Wait, wait, wait. What was the first number? 28 H.

28 H? 28 H is a very skinny woman. I know. Very thin ballerina woman. Hey, Dick and Sean. I've been listening to the show since the start, but the first time emailing you guys, I wanted to take the time to thank you.

I already know it's a guy. I wanted to take the time to thank you for saving my wallet and my marriage. Wow. Hmm. A while ago, my wife, 28H, started complaining about back pain.

To paint the picture real quick, imagine a 32F woman, but the woman, I don't need help imagining how big your breasts are. Thank you very much, sir. That's crazy. As you are well aware, there's a disturbing internet trend of women posting about their breast reductions. Yeah, it's a real social contagion problem. It's way worse than the trans shit, and all these right right wing guys are ignoring it because they just like

picking on gay people. Like Ben Shapiro or Michael Knowles and Matt Walls it's like yeah we like making fun of gay people so we're making fun of trans people.

Yeah. Basically like I mean it's whatever it's the same you know don't split hairs with me. Okay. That's what they're doing.

They can't make fun of gay people because that's illegal. They want to so instead they're making they're using the same bullying shit

to keep people... Like, there's way bigger problems with all they do. Well, obviously. Yeah. Well, and they hide... You know, they'll hide behind the... Ooh, hard drive's almost full.

Hide behind the, like, oh, think of the children, think of the... It's always that. Yeah. But you don't give a fuck about kids. Give me a fucking break. Yeah, that's what you guys

were doing with gay people, too. Yeah. How about all the Palestinian kids that got murdered by israel is it about those guys it's they're just they're just pawns how about that uh little girl that was in a uh car with her dead family and israel said the hospital the ambulance could come in and grab her and then they when the ambulance did they shot everyone how about that was that for the kids yikes um as you are well aware there there's, yeah. Trying to keep my cool,

I recommended some exercises and disliked, downvoted any such content on her social accounts. Yeah. But you better, better have a fucking stronger hand than that. The complaints didn't progress

toward reduction for some time. That is until one day she mentioned having back pain to her coworkers. Oh no. And then they started talking. Sorry, I'm deleting files here, too. Every single woman there exposed her to hours of inspirational breast reduction videos.

Yeah. That's when the arguments started. Not only would I be paying for this act of sacrilege, you should kill yourself if you paid for that. Wait, wait. She got it? I don't know. I'm on the edge of my seat. Okay.

Not only would I be paying for this act of sacrilege, but working sales, her commissions would likely take a hit. Oh, she worked in sales? Um, she should just quit. What kind of sales, I wonder? Whatever, I'm buying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you selling there, honey? I i mean you're certainly going to talk gloves i'm in talk to her longer yeah

um therefore we'd be losing even more money fortunately she watches this show and biggest problem we saw episodes covering this exact topic your fervent words got through to her in ways I had failed. Because I don't care. She claims to have felt as if you were patronizing her directly. I am. Okay. I have a magical way of

insulting all women personally. Even when I'm talking to a group of them. They're all personally offended. Taking your words to heart, 28H has been regularly Even when I'm talking to a group of them, they're all personally offended. Yeah. Taking your words to heart, 28H has been regularly doing back exercises for two years now. Miraculously.

Oh, hallelujah. Miraculously, her back pain has been gone for almost as long. Oh. Free. I'm free of this prison, Sean. I can move on to the next world! Yeah, you gotta...

Yeah, people don't exercise, especially the little stabilizing muscles and things like that. Yes! Yes! I did it! Ah! Thank you for everything. You're doing God's work, Brainiac. P.S. I love Maddox's claim

that non-engaging fans are fake numbers. Some of us like having gainful employment. Yes, we did it. We did it, everyone. With your support, we saved this guy's huge titted wife. Yes. Hey, you know what? Yes.

If he's happier than he was before he listened to the show. Oh. Bring her to a show too bring her you know maybe we say hi right yeah see how she enjoys

yeah um okay Jared says God amazing I don't think I've ever felt

as good as I do right now over what we've done here. What would make you feel better? Nothing. Wow. This is as good as you can feel?

Yeah, because I would say fucking his wife, but then there's an afterwards that's always more worse than the good. Women always... Every time I've dealt with a woman, it's made my life a little bit worse. Okay. So, it's just, you know.

Jared says, this one simple trick destroys conservative F slurs. Hey, Dick, here's a great way to shut down retards on the internet who can't stop obsessing over cuties and calling other people pedophiles. Simply ask them, what's worse, being a pedophile or the Holocaust? Oh, this is like one of those questions. It's worse. Okay. Pedophiles or the Holocaust?

So the short circuit? Yeah. I need an answer. Right. What's worse? Right. Is it pedophiles or the Holocaust? Yeah.

I noticed that you had a bunch of jokes and gibberish about how technically something was something or other and that what's important is, but I'm afraid I need an answer. One or two, pedophiles or the Holocaust? What is it? Can't they just say it's like the, it's kind of immoral, like the trolley problem? Like it's like, that's not-

Someone dies. Which one? Yeah, I know. Holocaust doesn't happen or there's no pedophiles? I refuse to play. Well, then that means you were going to say

that the Holocaust is worse than pedophiles. No, who knows? Well, that's what I know that you're saying. Not you, an imaginary person. No, no, I know.

Well, then you allow them to, like, write the narrative, but you definitely... The only... There's no, you just don't play. But you can't. Then you lose. Because everyone can see that you're not picking. Right. If you're given the choice, you have to pick one and then explain how it's both.

Why? Because you look bad. Oh, then explain how it's both. Yeah, you have to say, well, obviously pedophiles. But let me explain why you're a bad person for asking. That's the only way to do it. That's right. People way to do it. That's right.

People don't do that because they think like, I can't say. I can't say because they know it's the wrong answer. That's a complete immoral question. Yeah. Like, yeah. But it's not. Yeah. Because both of these things are like ways they manipulate you. They don't care about either one.

They only use them as tools to manipulate people. You mean people who ask those kind of questions? Like the army. Yeah. You know? Yes. Hey, you have to make a decision. Right.

They give you the trolley problem and I've had people talk to me about that. Yeah. Where it's like, you're in this scenario and it's like, no.

You gotta pick. Right. And it's like, you know, so what do they want? It's like, they want you to pick. They want you to make a decision.

Yes, exactly. Yep. Yep. It's important because people can't. Yeah. They just sit there and go, uh,

I'm not going to. With something like that, I would argue that like it's, unless you're a talking head, like it's not important at all. Because if somebody asked me that, that's the point. If somebody asked me that,

I would giggle and walk away. Yeah, but it's just for, it's just for talking heads. Yes. Right. Because they just use, they it's just for talking heads. Yes, right. Because they just manipulate people all the time. That's it. That's it.

Like all this Vowsh horse porn shit or whatever he's looking at, just drawings and pictures. None of these guys care. Right. They all know it's drawings. They don't give a fuck about drawings. They don't give a shit.

They're just like, well, how do I position myself so my mob of people who need to hate something will still like me and not turn on me. Oh, yeah. Watch the hilarity ensue as they completely melt down trying to wrestle with the cognitive dissonance. It's about time we start using these...

I'm not going to say that. Thanks, saying go fuck yourself. Being able to read ahead of what I'm saying aloud has really saved a lot of trouble, right, right Hey dick, check out this book. I wonder what they mean. I can't read links though I can't believe you haven't seen the ebony alert. No, I haven't look at this Uh Get rid of that creep off thing

I legit thought this was a joke joke this guy says it's not a joke look chp uh-huh wow ebony alert wow man who the fuck is this for well but isn't it in the title it's for black people yeah all right well i guess good luck with that 14 years old do they want black people to be like more vigilant on like oh it's like a black person who got abducted i want to i'm definitely going to be looking around as opposed to ignoring you know like the amber alerts like like everyone does like god phone shut the fuck up yeah um but i don't know who is supposed to be more... I think it's kind of an admission that this Amber Alert shit is bogus and doesn't work.

I don't think it probably works. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I know that as soon as I see it, I just... Mute it. Well, I read it out of curiosity, but I'm like, I'll never see that. Plus, it's Southern California. There's fucking millions of cars around.

Like, what are the odds that I'm going to see? Because it's always like driving a white Corolla. What the fuck? An Asian guy driving? What? Yeah. Are you kidding me? Like, I'm looking at 30 of those right now.

I know it doesn't work because there would be stories constantly about how it worked. They're probably would have never like narcan is every day a cop Someone's whispered fentanyl to him while he's being arrested Ministered narcan to himself. Oh god. Let's watch that. Let's watch that video. Oh the acorn now It's just marketing for the government like amber alert has become oh, we have to okay So we have to market to black people. So let's give them their own alert alert system yeah so they can get attention so it's not about solving crime it's just about generating attention that the government is like the police state is effective when it's just tyrannical and oppressive sure uh okay let's see here the acorn guy. Here we go.

Buckle up, boneheads. You've been sitting in your car and an acorn has fallen on it. Yes. It's a very distinctive sound. Uh-huh. Yep. Perhaps the first time it happened to you or the first two times, it was startling and confusing. Yeah. But I that merely confusing yeah there's plenty there's actually quite a few oak

trees in southern california still even with all the infrastructure but yes they're endangered i think i have definitely yeah i mean you can't like the california live oaks or whatever the yeah they um it it is a it's a distinctive sound and one that I would never think sounded like a gunshot to me. I wouldn't interpret it like that. Oh, that is, no,

no. Only a total idiot would mistake an acorn for a gunshot. Yeah. Okay. Here you go. This is a cop walking through a residential, a residential neighborhood. There's,

I mean, there's townhomes, so maybe it's an industrial commercial area over here. What state's he in? He's got a white cop car. Yeah. Okaloosa County, Florida. Okay.

Has the cops or the police department or anything responded to this? I don't know. responded to this? I don't know. Jetfire! Jetfire! Jetfire!

I'm sorry. That started quickly. He's walking to his patrol car. And this is legit? Yes. Okay. Because I get a lot of legit shit on this show that turns out not to be legit. No, it's all legit.

That's what I'm saying. You're just using the wrong Google. You got to use Google.truth. Right. Okay. Yes. Definitely. Yeah, that's definitely it.

So we can't even hear the acorn. Okay, listen real carefully. Yeah. I heard it. Yeah, I heard it Yeah, I heard it Did you hear that? I have a hard time believing this is real A November An incident

With, no he resigned Look I mean this guy's saying it but That has to be one of the dumbest humans I've ever oh, no No, you're not even there yet, bro There's a look there's an acorn already on his car when he walks up to like so it's like it's obviously happening But wait a minute what?

Where where's the oak tree? That doesn't look is that an oak tree that doesn't look like oak leaves Do you think this whole thing is AI? I don't know. What about this? Look, it's all branchy and shit. I'm trying to see. I got glare, but that doesn't look like an oak tree.

That looks like a thin, spindly tree. I don't know. Maybe it's not even an acorn. I don't know. I don't know all species of oaks. Maybe it's not an acorn. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Maybe it's some kind of... Could be. It honestly doesn't... Acorns sound bigger than that. Acorns are like, dong. They do. That was a very small tick. Okay, I'm going to let it play this time. Okay.

Chucks fired! Chucks fired! Chucks fired! Chucks fired! Yeah. You know. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!! Oh! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm hit. I'm hit. Mag dumping. Switching his fucking clip. The magazine, fuck you, whatever. I got shot in the car.

Oh. So there's a suspect in the car. There's a suspect in the car that they just arrested. He thinks that the guy had a gun and shot at suspect in the car. There's a suspect in the car that they just arrested. He thinks that the guy had a gun and shot at him from the car. So he's trying to execute him. And he thinks he's hit for this long. I'm good. I feel weird, but I'm good.

I feel weird. Because I just was spinning around on the ground like Rambo. If he thought the shot came from the car, what's he looking in the open field for so long for? I'm good. I'm good. Another gunman, maybe. They're freeing him like Walter White. This is all, this is very weird.

You mean you don't think it's real? I've got a lot of questions. I don't know. It might have hit my vest. Oh, it might have hit my vest. It's already thinking, like, what if it was... Wait a minute. It's like the guy who...

Nice shot. It must have... Let's see. Where did the bullet go? It's like the guy who bailed out of the F-35, right? Who's screaming? Shut up. Oh, because her husband's probably in the car, her boyfriend or whatever.

Something. Oh. She's screaming because she's got to get a job. She thinks she's got to go work a job instead of just mooch, you know. Oh, no, they killed my fucking mail ticket. Stay inside your house. Yeah, stay inside your house. Yeah, there's a crazy guy out here with a gun.

Right. Stay inside your house. That's a fucking insane person. So he's got gloves on because he'd probably been... Digging around. Yeah, digging around, seeing if he had drugs and stuff. Oh, yeah. You just murdered her fucking boyfriend.

He didn't kill anybody, did he? I don't think so. Well, she didn't know that. Well, no. Somebody did that, I would just go load... Oh, okay, well, I guess I'm... Right. Killing cops today.

Marquis! Marquis! Great. This is insane. It might be my best. I don't know. I'm not. No, there's no blood.

There's definitely not. Because I didn't get shot at all. I just dove on the ground and rolled around. This is outrageous. He's hiding behind the car. Yeah. Breathing. Scratch up somebody's Tesla. Yeah, I know. He's scratching up. I like Yeah. Breathing. Scratch up somebody's Tesla.

Yeah, he's scratching it. I don't like it. Hey, man, get off my car. It's not like a car hiding. I got you. Come over to me. Yeah, you. Another sheriff has arrived.

Multiple sheriffs of guns. Oh, he's shooting one of our brothers. One of our brothers in law enforcement. Yeah, we better take him down. This has got to be fucking real, doesn't it? Yeah. It says the longer it goes. Jesus Christ.

What a fucking... That's fucking hilarious, man. That's absolutely outrageous. I felt, what the fuck did he? Boy. Yeah, there it is. Real news site. I used your precious Google.

Unbelievable. Yeah, that's a, oh yeah. Deputy mistakes falling acorn. Yeah. Fires into a patrol car. Uh-oh, that's not even the worst part, Sean. Deputy mistakes falling acorn. Yeah. Fires into a patrol car. Uh-oh. That's not even the worst part, Sean. Look at this.

I know. Oh, look at this. There you go. Uh-oh. It gets even worse than you could imagine. I can see. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

AP Newswire. Yep. Florida deputy mistakes falling acorn for gunshot fires into a patrol car with a black man inside yep aww

if you thought things were bad and dumb with the shooting of an acorn you're never gonna believe it but there was a actually there was a black guy in the car

there was a black guy getting arrested wow we thought that that's crazy wow that's amazing that's amazing

what was he getting arrested for like tax fraud or something what do you mean a black guy was in the car that's nuts I can't believe

thanks for telling me where do you think he got the it wasn't an eastern European guy like in the Brinks commercial they would have like you know

patted him down and stuff like he you know missed the gun you down and stuff like he, you know, missed the gun. Yeah, you missed that he had a gun? Yeah, he missed,

right, right. He, uh, And that's his plan? He found it. To shoot you from inside the fucking car?

he found his spare fucking, you know, service gun in the glove box or something while I was handcuffed. I got a Derringer

shoved up my ass just in case the cops arrest me. That's insane. I don't even, yeah, that's insane. You can't even believe it. It's so ridiculous. Yeah, I can't believe me. That's insane. I don't even, yeah, that's insane. You can't even believe it.

It's so ridiculous. I can't believe it. But it happened. I can't believe it. It happens all the time. They're stupid. I can't believe it. They're stupid and fat.

You wish cops were fat so they couldn't do shit like this because they're so lazy and their insulin's off the charts all the time. It's just the level

of fucking dumbness. It's crazy. I always give people too much credit. Yes, you do. And I think they'll never stop disappointing you. One day, everyone will see people as I do, what they are. And then you won't think,

and it won't be necessary. He was in like a sheer panic for like a minute and a half. Now he's shooting like this, not even aiming. Like, the gun doesn't work like this. Did he fire off

into the empty field at first, or did he wait until he- He decided fucking, dude, there's a fucking, there's townhouses there. Yeah. They're not built out of titanium, steel plates.

Yeah, yeah. You have to of titanium. Steel plates. Yeah. Yeah. You have to aim the gun at someone. It's actually very difficult to shoot someone from even six feet away. Right. Let alone 40 feet while you're rolling around like a child. Yeah. What is that going to do?

I'm hit. I got to roll my way out of it. Stop drop and roll, right? He thought he was on fire. That's why he was- He shot me with a flamethrower. Exploding rounds. God.

Okay, this is a good graph. Yeah. And then I'm going to read some more. Oh, God. Trashed again? Hang on. I need all new computers. No, it's still going.

We just lost the... Did that thing get unplugged or something? It's plugged in now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got it. Weird. So this is the chart. Now, I think it. Weird. So this is the chart. Now, I think this is interesting.

Trust in mass media has dropped across all political demographics. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. So let's review this for a moment. So I think the impulse will be to argue with this, but I think it's more interesting than that. You've got...

Where's the... Okay, well, like like who who did it who's doing it uh gallup oh gallup you trust them no gallup is a yeah legitimate poll company yeah yeah sure we can do this by the way i can see what this is like i believe this too yeah i totally believe this well because. Because they hate Trump so much. And that's dominating the news coverage. I know, but there's more to it than that, I think. So there's, here it starts in the 70s, mid-70s, where 60% of conservatives trust the media and 75% of Democrats and about 70 independents.

So there's like a cluster of the dotted lines independent no no i i get it so it's about a cluster of about 75 about three quarters of people trust the media well they're they're very close around 1972 or something like that right yeah mid 70s yeah um which is interesting because i think about 25% of people are retarded, right? So back then, the stories were probably correct, mostly. Well, mostly. I mean, except for like Vietnam, the government was lying about shit. Nixon was lying his fucking dick off. But I imagine the media was combative.

But that impeachment shit, I don't buy either. Well, he was never he was never impeached he resigned he would have been impeached yeah yeah yeah and yeah yeah i'm starting to think that was bullshit too but whatever he asked you know i mean he he wanted people to do stuff in who refused and and he fired the yeah yeah um okay oh there's the numbers i gotta get the numbers okay so then the 80s hits yeah and we have um ad driven news cable cable news news 24 hours a day yeah we gotta sell ads man we gotta hype this but there's always ads sold in the newspapers and stuff advertising has always driven there was not 24 hour cable news correct until the, right? That's when it started.

Yeah, it might have been. Yeah, 24-hour. Yeah, yeah, I promise. I forget. Whatever Anchorman 2 was about. That was the first... What was the first 24-hour news network? I don't know.

I don't know. I thought it was CNN. I don't know. I swear it's CNN. Really? I don't know. But that's an... As far as I'm concerned,

that's an entertainment product. They all are. They all are. They all are. When you only have to fill an hour, you have news. Yeah, okay. You have salacious, incredible news to hit people with.

When you got to fill 24 hours, you're making mountains out of molehills. Oh, of course. Of course. And I agree that the media is lying. Like, I don't like that first number, that it's 75. I think it should be zero. Oh, yeah.

Let me start this with saying this should be fucking zero. Okay. It should be fucking zero. All right. Everybody should go, hey, do you trust it? No. What were you going to say? I don't know.

The church? No. Yeah. The media? No. The government? No. Not blindly.

Your parents? Definitely not my parents. Teachers? No. Cops? No. Judges? No.

Scientists? No. I don't. I can only no. Judges, no. Scientists, no. I don't. I can only go with people who can show their work. That's my whole thing. Because it's all you have. I do what I'm legally allowed to do and then a little bit more. They can still lie. Not everybody may have access to all the information.

You look for the people who should have access, who should be able to be the most correct. Okay. I'll give you that. Second, third, fourth, and that is my entire argument today. But that's not trust. That's it. That's not trust, though.

Oh, no. I don't. No, no, no. So you're saying what I'm saying. You're saying zero as well. No. Zero. I don't trust.

Do you trust that? Zero. No, zero. Should be zero. Yeah. So this is, I have a problem with this. Now you trust the... Zero. No, zero. Should be zero. Yeah. So this is... I have a problem with this. Now...

I've got to go with the best data I can uncover. What we're seeing over time is both Democrats and... Lowering. Republicans and independents. Right in the middle. Everybody trusts the media less at about the same time. Yeah. Maybe there's more ads.

It looks more obvious. The pandering is more. There's more news. They start to see through it. Maybe there's more ads, it looks more obvious, the pandering is more, there's more news, and so they start to see through it. Maybe there's, the news is now attacking other news and saying, that news is not credible.

And the other people are saying, that news is not fucking credible. Correct. And that's working. Oh yeah. We both don't trust either of you more, or I don't trust you more, you don't trust me more.

So now the media is poisoned, right? Right. And then the right is obviously not going to trust MSNBC, because it's propaganda. And it is. The left is poisoned, right? Right. And then the right is obviously not going to trust MSNBC because it's propaganda. And it is. The left is obviously not going to trust Fox News because it's propaganda. And it is.

Correct. Definitely. Yep, for sure. So then we get here, and this is Trump right here, right? Yeah. 2014. Just go back just a little bit. All right.

I want to see. There's an odd spike. Well, let's see. Was it a little bit. All right. I want to see. There's an odd spike. Well, let's see. Was it a little bit before that? Yeah, I was... Housing crisis right here. Something on the Republicans... Iraq.

It's Iraq. Go back just a little bit further. I thought I... Right here. Okay. Yeah, right there. Starts getting janky. Well, no, but see,

there's a pretty good spike in the Republicans just right there. That's one thing. And then they kind of... Oh, yeah. Why is that? What was that?

1998? The end of the 90s? Yeah. That was when the media was hammering Clinton for getting his dick sucked. Maybe they liked Clinton. No, that was...

Wasn't it? Oh, wait a minute. Well, he was done in 2000, right? So it was the end of his presidency. This is when it was like, let's make fun of Clinton constantly all the time. No, you're right.

All these bombing Bosnians. We're not going to pay attention to that. Yeah, I just saw that. Republicans probably love that shit. Boom. Then distrust, distrust, distrust. And we we get here and then trump hits and wham right democrats go from the nice place they were at not trusting the media all the way up back to 70 republicans dropped to 14 right obviously this 14 is like a backlash for trump like this isn't genuine but

it's still good because it's still closer to zero. Because, okay. That's what I'm saying. It's like, yes, I see that this is ideologically driven, but it's still good. You're right. It is more interesting than it looks at first glance.

And it, yeah. That's what I, that's why I saved it. Yep. And I mean, this is 70% is fucking inexcusable. Yeah. And that's because-

It's just inexcusable. It's because they're yeah you shouldn't necessarily trust it more because well it's ideologically driven you're right yeah yep i got it 100 that's 100 man that's bad that's bad i can't remember the last time i went to one of those in any of the major news networks for info for info well it's the first thing i may read something and then I'll immediately go, who's this group? Who are these people?

What's the background? What are they? Are they consistently on the opposite side of the whole consensus? Or like, it's like, what are they? It's so, it falls apart on so many levels so easy when you do a little poking around. Community notes is honestly great on Twitter.

Really? Yeah. Cause I'll see something. I'm like, I don't know. Like either I like that too much or it seems fishy and then I'll come back later and it's like, no, this is actually, and I'm like, okay, well, yeah, that's different. Yeah. There's a lot of things where I was like, ah, well, maybe. And then I come to really, you know, dig in

and I go, wow, that's just blatantly bullshit. Yeah. But the black people voting for Biden thing. Oh, I mean, basically everything. Crazy. Almost everything that's been brought into the show in the last five years. That's true.

That's true. We're black people voting for Biden. I really was going to do a dick half cocked. I was going to do it. And I realized it would just piss me off and you wouldn't care. No, I don't care. So yeah, exactly. But it's like, I mean, I, at one time I had a stack of papers here where I was like, okay,

maybe I'll do it. I win. That's just me winning. A stack of papers. But you actually cleaned the whole room. I don't think you threw them away i threw them away you yeah you must have or somebody did because it was all clean but it was like i don't know you had documents and correspondence i did yeah yeah i

did i don't think i don't think you saw them and went i don't want them to have these no i just you honestly anything away you honestly clean the room yeah you guys probably veto shit or whatever well veto's the worst there's a big argument started over um me saying he's a team guy a team guy left for democrats like you're just the team guy yeah sure you know you yeah because you'll defend anything i guess yeah uh the the like i'm a trump guy i'll trump's he fucked up i'll tell you i'll tell you what he fucked up more than people who hate him right yeah but yeah i still, yeah, I still, you know, I still love the guy. Right, right, right.

Obviously, we still fell for him again. He's still great. You've always have loved him. Yeah. My whole life. I know. Yeah. I know.

Awesome. Biff. Yeah, Biff President. That's great. Right. Yeah, I'll tell you what. The left, I've never with with the left as far as because they always seemed crazy to me for you know oh yeah they are what's the craziest thing

that but honestly like cutting people's tits off i wouldn't be i wouldn't be caught dead identifying as a republican right now i hate them i think they are as much as i hate democrats i think they are insane yeah like you're talking about conservative like you have conservative, you know, philosophy and stuff like that. I have shit on both sides, you know, on both sides, big time where I'm like,

it's too limiting to be, to be a team guy. I don't get it. But you say stupid stuff because you think you're supporting your team. But then it's like, no, that's just you saying something stupid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It seems like sometimes. I only, I try to get the fucking most accurate information I possibly can. That's a waste of time.

And like, no, but- You got to just get information that sticks. It's funny. Wham, this will get them. I can't do that. I can't do it. I can't do it. Like that Biden thing.

Black people voting for Biden. That's nuts. I see this. What were you gonna say nothing damn it yeah okay here it is I think this is why

this probably explains oh do you have a better help thing I do have a better help oh was it cause they're cause they're scumbags oh yeah

they're bad they're real badags oh yeah they're they're bad they're real bad yeah this is uh maybe this is why so many black people voted for biden here's biden he's having dinner with some black people this is a deep fake no this is real is it yeah i don't know why he would do this oh he he's horrible whether it's he fucks up all't know why he would do this. Oh, he's horrible. He fucks up all the time when he's talking. They like this, and maybe that's why they showed up more than Obama. How much more? I went the route of making sure I had the hamburger.

So tell me about your guys. So he went to dinner with a bunch of black, with a black family, and he brought them all fried chicken but he bought a hamburger for himself this is so fucking performative badly performed I think Bullworth was right though

they like that they're being pandered to I mean they, people not just black people, like everybody they like being pandered to Yeah I think so What you doing these days Why don't you Share about your

Passion of sports I'm playing AAU basketball right now Really Oh you play basketball Wow Yes sir Now what grade are you in? Seventh grade.

Seventh grade. Right now, I'm just basketball, playing guard on a JV team for my school. How about in school? How are y'all doing in school? You should tell the president about this school. Favorite thing about it is the business academy I'm in. You get to, like, travel. What in the fuck is this?

It's all, like, written. Like, it's like, how many takes? This shit's embarrassing, man. Like this is what, this is what, this is what turns out the voters though. This is what presidents

are fucking doing. Oh God, man. I, the fact, we have a, a, a Trump Biden rematch. Like is incredible. I know, it sucksatch like is incredible.

I know, it sucks. It's incredible. Okay, what did you say? I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad for the Democrats at all. This is the best they could do. Well, Bernie was great, but they... Oh, they don't know.

He doesn't tell... Yeah. I think that's the worst part. He scared them. Bernie was awesome. I know. But you guys, you all pussed out. Yeah. He doesn't tell. Yeah. I think that's the worst part. He scared him. Bernie was awesome. I know. But you guys, you all pussed out. And we, we did it.

We won. We got our guy that everyone hated. And the Democrats pushed him through. And you guys fucking pussed out on Bernie. And now you're all pissed off at Trump about it. And they didn't show up. We supported Bernie 100 fucking percent. Every Trump guy knows.

It's like, well, yeah. I mean, Bernie says fuck the system too. So yeah, pro Bernie. Yeah. Socialists, hate him. Communists, but whatever. And we're doing outside shit this time. Well, you talk about like voting numbers and stuff. Dude, people stayed home.

The Democrats were pissed off that they're so, it was. Because they fucking stole it from Bernie. So I say to these guys, they stole the election from Bernie. Do you not get that? Yeah. Do you want proof for that? Yeah. Do you not obviously see it that they fucking stole it from him?

Well, but like, obviously out in the open because they're allowed- They stole this one out in the open. They're allowed to do that. It's just so aggravating. That's how the primaries work. You're going to need some evidence.

You fucking idiots with this mentality lost Bernie doing the same fucking shit. Not just going, yeah, they're going to need some evidence. You fucking idiots with this mentality lost Bernie doing the same fucking shit. Not just going, yeah, they're going to fucking... You need evidence. You need evidence. No, you don't. That's not how politics works.

Politics does not rely on evidence. No, it doesn't. What's the saying? If you can assert something without evidence, I can dismiss it without evidence. This isn't science. This is politics. Pound it through. You don't need evidence. That's thinking. Irrelevant. No, because people dismiss it without evidence. This isn't science. This is politics. Pound it through.

You don't need evidence. That's thinking. It's irrelevant. No, because people vote based on emotion. Yes, exactly. I need evidence. You're not voting Democrat.

I'm not voting anybody. Oh, come on. No. No, no, no, no. You're not the wall? No, none of these pieces of shit deserve my vote. Okay.

M advice. Hey, Dick, I've been a fan of your show since around episode 20 or so i'm sorry if this is weird oh but i really want to wear your skin uh but i would like some advice i'm 26 and my girlfriend if you don't like politics i'm sorry but it's fun talking about uh i'm 26 and my girlfriend and I- I hate it. You hate it? I hate it on this show. Yeah. People, I mean, they hate it too, but whatever. I'm 26 and my girlfriend and I broke up.

It's really truly over. How do you get over feelings of remembering the places in your home where you shared so many memories? of remembering the places in your home where you shared so many memories. I've been having a hard time being inundated with all of these thoughts while I'm just going on about my life. I'm sorry to reach out to you.

I just don't have any friends and family I feel comfortable speaking to. Thank you for all the entertainment. I love you and Sean so much. Well, that's a little, you gotta dial it back. See why she left. I'm trying to shift gears now here. You shouldn't need to shift gears.

Yeah, that happens, man. You're 26. That'll happen. Don't worry. You got another, you got another couple years of that. Maybe another six years. And honestly,

you will miss, you will miss feeling like a... You will probably identify what you're feeling now as human at a later point in your life, as youth, and you will miss the pain that you feel and identify it with excitement as you get older. And you won't... You will have memories of remembering these things, but you won't be able to make new ones of that anymore. And you'll miss it. So enjoy the pain that you're feeling,

walking around, missing the first love of your life. Cause it won't happen again. I guess you got that to look forward. You got that to look forward to, but you'll be envious of it it could happen again but it'll be different

it'll be different and you'll want it to be you will want it to hurt more the next time when it's better but it won't and you'll hate that and feel guilty about it but that's life man at some point it all turns into a big gray goo,

and then you die. So enjoy the pain, because it means something is distinct and different. That's why it's there. Yeah, and it's like, he may understand that. He may understand that intellectually, like what you're saying, but until he goes through it

and kind of comes out the other side, like this might click for him in some years. Because I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. There's like this. Yeah. And when it clicks for you, I'll have realized

I will be in a new dimension of misery by that. So that will be 20 years from now. Right. Where everything will be a years from now right where everything will be uh everything will be a a continuum of pain um yeah it doesn't but it's like it it doesn't help him right now like and that you know that's horror right now you gotta go cry find a chick who's as damaged as you and cry about it that's what you do all i All I'm saying is- And fuck up. You will fuck it up because she just needs to get her emotional nut off

listening to you cry. Watch Swingers. We had movies that helped us with these things. You guys just have gay shit. In the 90s. Willy Wonka's singing musical Chocolate Factory with a homosexual twink leading it. We had real movies to help us cope emotionally with life.

That's where we peaked at human experience. leading it. We had real movies to help us cope emotionally with life. That's where we peaked at human experience. I'll say to him, I'll say, stay busy. Mm-hmm. Stay busy. It's the,

it ain't, don't take nothing but time, but it's, there's no, there's no advice I can, I can give. Like, oh,

how do you just magically, like, you know, forget about this whole thing? You don't. You don't. You just forget about everything. how do you just magically like you know forget about this whole thing like you don't you don't just forget about everything you you just don't you learn to live with it and then it just kind of it just sort of fades away once it starts to get annoying when people tell you how to deal with it you're over it yeah that's when they'll hit a point we go actually i'm kind of fucking annoyed that i'm getting this advice from people well and really like i don't I don't even think pity anymore I don't think he really even needs I think people are well-meaning with their advice but it's not it's really just like really what actually seems

to mean more to a lot of people is like man that fucking sucks I know what you're talking about I know I know what that feels like it's happened to was there been 60 how many there's been 60 billion human beings it's happened to what you're what's happening to you happened to was there been 60 how many there's been 60 billion human beings it's happened to what you're what's happening to you happened to 30 billion other people met multiple times so don't worry about it you're saying no women they don't feel anything i knew that's where you're going i knew that's where you're going it's like this has happened to 30 billion people what's the uh gender split on these i think women are actually 50 like 0.1 percent or 51 percent i hope you guys understand how funny that joke was how well that joke was constructed uh advice hoid uh how much do I spend on whores?

Okay Good question Not more than a third of your monthly income Less than boogie Oh god I'm fucking slappy this episode It's because of the Maddox shit I don't know what happened

Oh yeah shit Wait I gotta show you this I don't know what happened I'm fucking I'm out of my fucking Carl and his gay haircut messed this all up. I know, that's that too. YouTube.

What is he, Real Maddox? AOM? I think I'm just yelling at stuff now. Cool. Yeah. Now you get it. All right. So this is, this, look, look, look, look, look.

Yeah. This is, uh so this is this look look look yeah this is uh uh he's got a picture of 80s girl up there uh this is Maddox's new video that he just posted so he's got restraining orders I think he's speeding them up because the feedback has been so bad because he fucking is guilty of all kinds of shit. Yeah, and people are on there. Everybody go on Maddox's page and comment on the videos. Like, I don't get this YouTube. Like, something about, I don't get why this is YouTube drama is a good video. Like, I just don't.

I mean, whatever, man. It's cool that you're posting, but this YouTube drama is, like, beneath you. Like, hit the word YouTube drama. That's what people are saying? That's, yeah, that hits him. That hits him hard because they dismiss all of his pain.

This was supposed to be like his, you know, master word. No, I know. Well, because again, it's when it's happening to him, it's different than it happening to everybody else.

Right, right, right, right, right. So this is the, this is the logo. Guess what? That's a narcissist. He's got a, his image for the lawsuit. Yeah. It says the logo. Guess what? That's a narcissist. He's got a, his image for the lawsuit. Yeah.

It says the lawsuit. Yeah. And it's got a gavel being pounded into a pile of shit. Yeah. But doesn't that imply that the lawsuit was shit? Yeah.

But that was his lawsuit. Right. Does he think he's pounding you into shit? Like this is, am I shit? Right. That the judge, because the judge pounded him Am I shit? Right. That the judge- Because the judge pounded him, not me.

Right. No, everybody was, it was all dismissed. Yeah. And he's trying to spin it. Well, it was in the wrong. Why did you file it there? Why'd you file it there? Good question.

Well, because a lawyer came along and duped you and said, I'm licensed in this state and this state. You do any business in this state? Oh, you do? Let's sue him in this state. Here, give me the money. Give me the money. I would fucking give almost anything for Landau to call in.

I know. And talk about that. I know. Fuck. It's absolute. And then he legally divorced him after milking him dry. It's just the fact that George bought into this. So stupid. It's so, it's just the dumb the fact that he that george bought into this so stupid it's so it's amazing it's absolutely amazing i mean that's they you know i didn't see all these

little images he had so he's got the lawsuit with a gavel going into poop an absolute rube i don't understand how it's what is the the poop? Who knows? If I got sued. We're all supposed to get that it's you. I'm the poop. You have to be. How are you not? I guess so. The restraining order.

So now he's got a restraining order, but he's the one that, I mean, it's effectively his restraining order. He's the one that made his, that Jess called the schools. Yeah. Everyone knows that. That's the one that made his, that Jess called the schools. Yeah. He, everyone knows that. That's what I mean. That's why I'm saying that like these people who are, you know,

who might want to do stuff on his behalf or defending him. Don't fucking, don't, why are you going to do it? Look at who fucking, look at who he is. They're messed up. If you go on his page and there's people with like,

I think there's a lot of people who are very young. No, no, no. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe that,

but, but more than that, there's... Messed up, granted. There's like, if you highlight their name and go look for them or go in their profile and look at their other videos... There are people who feel like they're victimized. They're so fucked up. They have multiple novels about crystals and self-actualizing. They're like deadbeats of a self uh self-hypnosis era yeah um that never

worked out and this is people i mean they're like vietnam veterans except of a war that was like fought mentally right in the 90s they're very sick people mostly women yeah well i mean you actually know you actually look at who they are like i because funny i don't but i yeah i'm just speculating yeah um yeah i don't know i don't, but I, so I'm just speculating. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know quite what that means. Well, whatever. Speculating?

The poop. Yeah, I don't either. The gavel. This will really, it's a poop gavel. Yeah, yeah. The lawsuit. He's going to spin it like, oh, well, you know, they said I can sue him in California. No, let me ask one. Let me ask a question.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Is he literally asking for help with a lawyer? Yeah. Like at the end, what does he say? I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? Okay. Well, I'll wait to comment on that yet. But I have some thoughts if that's the case. Okay. Bonus episode. I don't know when we could do one at the end of the month yeah end of february yeah by 2027 we'll get to the end of the video i got emails on both sides keep doing exactly what you're doing you have to go through it piece by piece yeah and then i got emails you have to i want one episode it's like yeah but it would be 30 hours long I'm exhausted by

you know what I was saying the other week is I'm thinking of it from a I'm thinking of it entirely from a listener standpoint

and I realize that's not the best like it's like because I want but they don't want that you don't want an 80 hour episode going over a

I'm only talking about I'm talking about put the inventions on on that's all I'm talking about oh just Dumatics? that over a- Oh, no, I'm only talking about, I'm talking about put the inventions on, that's all I'm talking about. Oh, just do Maddox? That's all I was ever saying. If it came off as something else, that's incorrect. I was trying to do that,

but I just get so caught up talking to you about like stupid- I know, I know, I know. Lay down toilets. I know, and it's really- And it's more fun. You are more, you are correct for how to do a show. Yeah, you have to do both i think yes from a

from a show standpoint you're right i'm thinking entirely from a listen it's like all i want to do is talk about this um i can't delay gratification i mean we can cut it up later when it's done now i give you this 30 hour episode i get it but no no i am not uh suggesting that we blow through the whole thing no matter what. Like it's... I hate listening to stuff like on double time. It's what we're spending our time on. Yeah.

Advice, Hoyt. I don't... How much should I spend on hookers? I don't consider myself a trading genius, but whenever I get that itch, whenever I get that itch, I'll gamble a little money on micro caps. I took my life savings and went all in. 20 times did wow um anyway now i'm sitting on a decent amount of money how would you recommend i reallocate my assets do i spend

5 10 15 on whores or do i just put it all into something that would give me a leg up in the future. Job-wise, I'm set. So I'm not too worried about money in the mid to far future. I am the demographics. Computer science, Native American, bilingual, you fucker. Wow. Native American. You go get a job anywhere. You don't even need to be a computer scientist.

Just knock on the door. Hey, what's up? Native American here. Yeah. So corporations just throw jobs at me. Last job I got, I didn't even have

the technical component. They just said I was a good cultural fit. Oh. They actually said that. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.

Oh, no. It's, yeah. It's entirely performative, all these companies. You have to spend, you have to spend your money on drugs and whores now while you're young.

Because at my age, the drugs hit you, you're out for, you know, you're losing life. You feel the life drain out and you might meet somebody and then you're gonna,

you know, you can't just go buy a bunch of whores. You don't know. So you gotta, if the whores, if the sun is out, you gotta, you can't just go buy a bunch of whores. You don't know. So you got to, if the whores, if the sun is out, you got to,

you got to, what's the saying? If the sun is out. If the sun is out. Make hay. Make hay. Make hay while the sun is shining. Make hay while the sun shines.

Because you might one day find your dream whore. Yeah, and then you're done. Yeah. No more whoring for you. Right. Buy whores while the, while the crypto's running. All right. I don't know if that one will catch on. I don whoring for you. Right. Buy whores while the crypto's running.

All right? I don't know if that one will catch on. I don't think so either. It's not very good. Buy whores now. I don't need it to rhyme. Right. Do it now.

Sure. And how much? I mean, I don't know. Native American, you're a pretty big guy. Maybe. Because you're pretty like tall right I don't know

maybe five start at a thousand and then go down from there okay it's just my advice I have no advice uh woman alert

alright okay woman alert okay woman alert Chad Dragon says uh gym employee confronts a lady about how she smells

while she's working out. Ew. Okay. Do you ever see those fucking Lumi commercials that I've talked about? No. We played one on there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, it's the most fucking disgusting commercial. They keep making them. Cause people stink. Oh yeah. People are fucking gross. So I made this stuff here. Just smear it in.

You ever get fucking like, like horrible, horrible butt crack smell. Fucking like for 72, it's proven odor fighting for 72 hours. Cause you know, we don't, we don't like to shower apparently for three fucking days

for three fucking days you can walk around have your fucking crack not fucking have wicked stank for fucking three days well it's like the Golden Gate Bridge fat people showering

they gotta wash one quadrant think about how much you won't get done in three days not showering think of how much sitting around you could do

god uh Jim Gowers had allegedly complained to managers about the woman's smell while she was working out. Okay. The woman at Planet Fitness shared her most recent experience at the gym. That was put on TikTok.

According to the woman, she was leaving the gym. She was approached by a male employee. He pulled her aside and told her that the other gym goers had been complaining about her recently, specifically about the way she smelled. Yeah. He was like, oh, you know, several members have complained to managers about the way you smell. Yeah, but he took her aside and... A male employee came up to me and he pulled me into one of the rooms.

It wasn't obviously like there's no private rooms at Planet Fitness. And he was like, oh, you know, several members have complained to managers about the way you smell. I'm like, I'm at the gym. He's like, I know, I know, it's not me. Your first reaction is to argue about you stinking? She has to know she stinks. I'm at the gym, so, like, I'm supposed to be as— You're supposed to stink.

Yeah. I don't understand— You're not sweaty. Look. Deodorant. Yeah. Like, it takes nothing to— Like a fucking shower.

Yeah, I mean— And I just—you know, people have already complained to the managers, so the managers told me to tell you. People have already complained to the managers. The managers told me to tell you. Again, am I supposed to not be stinky at the gym? Yes. And I'm just so confused because I thought Planet Fitness was no judgment.

So I'm just very confused about how one is supposed to spend almost two hours at the gym and not be stinky. No, you're not supposed to spend two hours at the gym. It's too long. You're not working out. Here's what she's not saying. Oh, God. What a bitch.

She's walking in there stinky. Like Pigpen. She's walking in there stinky. Yeah. I thought this was America. I thought this was America. I'm allowed to stink wherever I want. I have seen a guy at a gym confront another guy at the gym about how bad he smells.

How bad did he smell? Horrible. Fucking horrible. And the guy was like, I'm sorry. I think he started to say he had this condition. And the guy was actually really, he was like, yeah, no. Cause I, he's like, I just wanted to let you know, because it's like, maybe it's a health thing. Like, I mean like, you know, like he did it in like the best way possible, but it was loud enough for everybody to hear. But this guy was

a hero heinous dude. It was, it was, it was fucking foul, but that's how, that's what's going on with this chick. I guarantee you. Yeah and it's like look Hygiene is something that everyone can help. I know it's more difficult for some people But they're you should not announce your presence when you're 50 feet from the front door by how bad you smell Stop fucking arguing about if you stink or not. That's the one that hey, everybody says you stink Oh, well, i'm not supposed to think no Not there's so many ways to not stink.

If someone says you stink, just go whoop and just walk out. Yeah. Oh, thanks. It's not because you're sweating an hour into your workout and then you start stinking and everybody starts complaining. No, it's just she's embarrassed and she doesn't. So embarrassed that you made a TikTok about it? You know what?

Touche. Hey, everybody. Everyone says I stink. I just want to tell you. People are, you know... So stupid. Ultimately, they want attention more than they are embarrassed,

I guess. But she loves Biden. Sign me up to vote for Biden. Three times. She might have voted three times. Obama. Yeah. All right, everybody.

This has been The Dick Show. Patreon.com slash Dick Show. I'll see you next Tuesday. Here it comes. Oh, I forgot. Here it comes. He didn't make a Sean one, though. This is kind of fucked up.

What? This guy. Pop sculpture. It's for the other show. I know, but he knows that this show exists. Ah, whatever. It's a bit of a slight on you, I think. Slight to you.

I'm fine with it. I mean, you say that, but I can tell that you're not. I didn't even think it until you said it. Oh, God. Let's check in on Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. He's getting a divorce now. Oh, God. Let's check in on Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. He's getting a divorce now. Oh, boy. All these stupid trad influencers pitching marriage.

Like this generation is any different than any other. Yeah. You guys, divorce is going to hit you motherfuckers at 45 like a ton of bricks. Yeah. And it's going to be so funny because it will fuck up your life. It's true because it's all these really young guys saying it. Yeah. With no real experience.

Yeah. I only buy stocks that go up. Yeah. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. Yo. I got a fucking rage. Okay.

There's nothing worse than when you're smoking a fucking cigarette and some prick is a fake cough it's worse than getting shushed and every time it's happened to me I sit there and I stare at the person and the first thing that crossed

my fucking mind is should I punch this person as far as I fucking can right in their suckle yeah just like fist their mouth yeah uh it happened to me last night at a super bowl party and uh i'm still kind of uh bitter over the whole fucking thing yeah you have every right to be my name is pete the bob may have called in a couple times I don't know I'm generally drunk That's cool Pete and Bob from Richmond Me too

Been there But Hopefully you fucking Share this With all the dickheads There you go Alright alright alright Just hang up

Yeah fake cough When it's fake cough You gotta go Moo to them Moo Yeah yeah Because of you And everything you got

You can tell Like people do fake coughs badly, you know? Yeah, yeah. They want you to know it's fake. It has to come from, like, yeah, I guess. Yeah. Okay. Oh, fat chicks in movies. Hey, Dick.

Hey, Sean. What makes me rage is fat chicks starring roles in movies. So I just saw the new Argyle movie, and I don't know the actress's name, but it's the chick who was in those new Jurassic Park movies. And I don't know if after the Jurassic Park movies, she ate one of the dinosaurs, but she was just fucking huge.

Ron Howard's daughter. She was playing the star role. Oh, yeah, she is Fatter than shit Yeah It's like Bryce Dallas Howard She's so fat We were talking about the whole

Fucking movie I didn't even know that was her I'm like she's not curvy She's got shoulders like a fucking linebacker. She looks like a fucking dinosaur. And an ass wider than a fucking semi-truck. So who the fuck is looking at her and going like, oh, yeah. Fuck yeah, let's go.

Yeah, they got Chris Pratt in there who's on like 700 calories a day diet. You're talking about the Jurassic Park movies? Yeah. And they wheel her in. He's saying she got a lot bigger after. In the next one. Yeah. he rides her at one point he jumps in her and tries to turn her ear and she goes uh what are you doing he goes i thought you were the jeep throttles on the other side i thought you were the jeep it's a weird moment in the movie yeah it probably should have been

left on the cutting room floor. What does this say? Oh, this might be the biggest problem in the universe. Mail. Okay, let's see here. Alright. Why the fuck is Maddox so upset about Nick Rikita doing blackface when his co-host of his podcast

had a bunch of songs that dropped the n-word with a hard r during rucka while he was currently the co-host rucka rucka ollie was putting that shit out so how the fuck is it okay for him to sit there and bitch about some dude doing blackface with his black friend? I'll tell you why. I don't know. Because he made fun of him. Oh, because Nick made fun of Maddox. Because he made fun of him.

Because he didn't side with him. Yeah. That's why. That's why. He doesn't really care. None of us care about blackface. Well, he could say, like, Rucka is, like, satire. Which I believe, like, I don say like rucka is like satire which i believe it

like i don't i don't know rucka that well but like that's he doesn't he doesn't have a problem with that because rucka never went against him i mean there's this like there's this idea that like jokes are okay but like personally if i'm being honest i think jokes are worse than racism because it makes it more acceptable. It makes the racism more palatable. I've heard that argument. And this is coming from someone who's making these jokes.

It was the same thing which they said, you know, like black leaders came out and said, you know, Chris Rock's bit, like where he was saying,

he was talking about black people versus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, that's real dangerous because now, you know. It's way worse. Yeah. My point is is it's all fine

I'm totally 100% for all speech all the time ever so yeah the jokes I do think the jokes are worse but it's still just words

they don't none of them matter I guess it's it's how people interpret people but I do think it's funny that people say like

well it's just jokes it's like well yeah but jokes are worse but they're yeah but George is worse but there yeah but because that can get in your brain mess with you

it can but and it's hard to tell this is a this is a this is not an argument that I can really win yeah but it's like

if you're talking about people's intentions oh yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean like you can when George Carlin said the word everybody knew his long history of not being a racist.

You know what I mean? And then when other people, and a lot of times it's like- It's very complicated. It's nuanced because people are nuanced. And like, it's like, yeah, I know what you're saying. I know what you're really doing. Because there are dog whistles.

And then there are also people who are, who can say something and you know that that's not what they're about. But sometimes you guess wrong and you can... Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. Yeah, so the whole thing, like the jokes, I was like, oh, I mean, who cares? I don't like the whole...

Well, I was just joking, not joking. Yeah. But I think the whole Nick Ricada blackface thing is maddox is he's telling himself that he's like giving us a taste of our own medicine yeah like he when the show first broke up he told all of ucb that i he sent them all the men are better than women.com rape article yeah which is like this this preposterous idea that men get raped more than women. Oh, no, I know. And it uses all the stats.

Everything about every chapter in that book is about how men have it worse. Worse, yeah. So it's let's do the right. So it's not like men's rights guys will say, oh, men are like do better wars, or men are like smarter and build buildings and shit. Mine was like, no, we're worse victims. Like that was, you know, that's the joke.

That's the joke of it. It's like, oh yeah, rape is a big problem. It's actually a bigger problem for men. Like that's like, no matter what, yeah, that's retarded. Yeah, men have worse periods. Right. I mean, it's like. Exactly.

I know. Exactly. That's the joke. It's very obvious. So the article's written like, I pulled in the most retardedest stats ever and concluded with more men get raped than women. That's the joke. Yeah.

So he sent that around and said, look, he's a fucking rapist. And of course, they don't even read the article, let alone think about it. They're just like, that guy's funny. Let's fucking get rid of him.

Let's get rid of him. But when he did that, he was like, I'm doing this to fuck this guy over yeah but i i'm also a good person so to reconcile that i did it because to protect people i'm a protector i'm a defender of women it's the same thing with nick he's like well i don't i don't care about blackface but i'm giving these guys a taste of their own medicine yeah because they were because they were upset with something having to do

with the N-word, but they weren't actually, like, he knows no one cared. It's just that he was trying to get people fired all the time. Yes. He's like,

well, how about this shit? He's done that for years. Yeah. Doxing people, trying to- That's why. It's all this narcissistic, like, reinvention

of what my motives are. No, I- What his motives are. That's how it works. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. And there's so many fucked up narcissists

who do it. Okay, here's some sort of a shirt. It's got a QR code on it. Ooh. Wow. Alright.

Everyone loves... Bitches love QR codes. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna wear it and not even look it up. You should look it up. Nah.

See, I have to know. Here. There's some stickers, too. I don't know. I'm just going to wear it, not even look it up. You should look it up. Nah. See, I have to know. Here, there's some stickers, too. I have to know. Oh, wow. Go ahead. Look it up. Got some QR code stickers, QR code shirt. Cool.

There was no note with it. Perhaps it's on the QR code. Did you look it up with your phone? Nope. Oh. Okay. Reverse chronological order. Hey, the dick show.

The beach truck. What makes me laugh about Maddox's reverse chronological shit is that it's only used in resumes, which is hilarious because he sounds like he needs one. Reverse cry? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. It is used there. From, you know, 2017 to present.

And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's right. Why don't you go make a resume, Maddox? Yeah. You can put, made a video about Dick Masterson for the last five years. Yeah. Had a Godzilla podcast with a girl I was last five years. Yeah. Had a Godzilla podcast with a girl I was trying to fuck.

Right. I forgot about that. I totally forgot about that. Had a debating show where I said that Colin Kaepernick should have got fired. Lost my sponsorship. Had an amazing podcast

right before that that I owned that I employed a stalker to work with me for two years that fucking that that ss thing with me is just it's just too funny it's just too funny and he thinks and that's one of the things where it's complete defamation yeah he's trying he thinks he oh you fill in the blank like he thinks that as well i never called him a neonaut see i never precisely yeah that's what you're trying to make people yeah he doesn't he doesn't understand that uh yeah he's

i think like thinking back to the story about him trying to get into the judge you know and after that if i just like i'm getting there and explain myself he will have he if if it ever happens, he will have the exact same reaction because he will be stunned that that is fucking defamation. But yeah, but see, but this word I didn't say directly. I didn't,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're autistic. I'm, I'm sorry. You are so literal that you don't understand that that's what that leads people to believe. Always surprised.

I can't help you. I can't help you. I'll take your shit though. What the fuck is this? Kind of a bleach spill on this? What the fuck? Why is this all wet? What do you send me?

Like a smallpox shirt over here? It's wet I hope that's not liquid fentanyl Narcan Why is this shirt wet? What the fuck is going on? I just took it out of the bag It's really wet?

I don't want to feel it I don't know what's on it I don't know what's on it I want you to find out I don't want to find out what does this say it's fucking wet where who did it come from I don't know we're about to find out okay that doesn't scan these goddamn qr codes uh uh no i use a sticker oh here you want the sticker no i have a bunch oh open and brave okay okay what is it you gotta scan one oh really yeah Oh, really? Yeah. It's a secret prize that you win. Yeah?

Yeah. When you scan it. Just for you. You can put it at Starbucks and stuff. Win this. You put it over. Oh, man. It's not scanning.

Why is it not scanning? Scan. Give it a scan. Do it correctly. I'm not doing it right. Here we go. Oh, okay. So you go to Target or Starbucks, right?

That's funny. Where they have like giveaways. Yeah. And you put this over the Starbucks one. You know what I mean? Yes. When they're not looking, like, oh, okay, I'll put that in there.

It directs you to a site that says you're fat. It's very funny. you to a site that says you're fat. It's very funny. How much can I pay for somebody to just go blanket LA with everywhere you see a QR code, slap this thing on there. That is so funny. Okay, last

one. I'm going to go play with these dogs. one on the zipper of my pants we get stuck in the fabric and get like in an upward to the top and I don't know how but I feel like I have to get I have to get it out I can't cuz I don't want it to pop down for no reason. All right? I'm kind of about to get broke by a garment. Yeah, you broke up, but you're 100% right. That's a real big problem.

Getting your zipper stuck up the wrong way. All right. Goodbye, everyone. See you. Thank you.