The Dick Show - Episode 405 - Dick on the Slowpocalypse

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

A woman craps in a bucket, a feal market in the Slowpocalypse, the Dodgers steal a baseball from a woman, sex working for Jesus, a woman knocks herself out in an MMA match, weird cuck fantasies, violent white liberals, and Boogie is bullying me; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

There have been black astronauts, right? Of course. Yeah, yeah. Did we lose one in the Challenger? I don't know. Should I hope so? No, this was like a spoof. I hope so. This was like a Ken Burns documentary style.

I hope we lost a black astronaut in the Challenger, otherwise it would be racist. Well, I mean... I'm pretty sure that's right. Sometimes when I show my work, you can't show your work when it comes to racial issues or else you're racist. You just gotta go for it, you know? I don't know. That's an interesting question. I don't know if we've lost a black astronaut. It would, um... There's been, so, have there been, there's been two shuttle crashes?

Uh, that we know of, yeah. Right? Two American ones. Yeah. The Russians lost a couple. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. I mean, our program. What did we lose? We lost Discovery? On landing? Did it fall? Yeah, it fell apart? No, it was...

Tile popped off. It came up, it came apart upon like re-entry. It actually... It blowing did. It finally... it was in our atmosphere, I think, when it when it Grenaded basically, but yeah, it was... That's the last place you want to... Yeah, I think parts were like scattered over like a couple of states Yeah, pretty wild. Yeah.

Some heads? Yeah, there was like, they had communication with them and they knew there was a problem, but then they had no more communication. Did they tell them? Ooh, hey, uh, ooh. Well, that's actually, God- The spaceship's falling apart, guys. That's an interesting question because I don't know.

You gotta not tell them, right? Well, I don't know if I read this. I don't know. I had heard that they had figured out on the ground that there may have been some damage, a slight damage up there. Oh, I see. Or had, there was some damage

that happened much earlier in the mission and there wasn't anything that anybody could do about it So it was like I I don't know I have to go back and look I don't know if that's true or not But I think I remember Reading something about that. It's a NASCAR event now, right? We're watching you're watching space shit to see if it explodes Yeah, you're watching for the crash, right and everybody crashes crashes and everybody says, let's think of all this amazing data that Elon Musk is getting from this crash. There's nothing more valuable than a spaceship getting destroyed.

Right. Not it working. Yeah. That's less valuable. Yeah. Who wants hot pizza? Cold pizza for me, please. Yeah.

Yeah. Deliver it and stick it straight into the fridge. Um, Boogie called me, is calling me unwell. Can you imagine this? Huh. Boogie, 500 pounds, blood with the thickness of pudding that's literally cancerous. A man with cancerous blood. Blood cancer, yeah. Teeth that he stole from a horse's corpse and screwed into his mouth and his head

Jesus Frankenstein's horse is calling me unwell Unwell Sean and what I'm very sick. I have the cure right here. Yeah, right He's calling me unwell. What he says veto is cool. What prompted that I'm a sick person Nothing. Well, I'm just supportive I've been nothing but supportive of him. He got big funny teeth as a joke and I support it I think it's hilarious to have those teeth. Well, you appreciate anyone who commits to a bit. Yes I'm encouraging his bit of Screwing big stupid looking joke teeth into his mouth. Did he just do that? No, he did that a couple years ago.

That's when I first got on his fucking mental health radar, I suppose. He had bad teeth. He's bullying me. He had bad teeth and he got like veneers or something? Or like caps or whatever you want to call it? You know, like Tiger Woods teeth? He got the big size. The big size?

Yeah, he was ordering his teeth and he had a diabetic... He went into a diabetic coma because he hadn't eaten in his teeth and he had a diabetic, he went into a diabetic coma because he hadn't eaten in 12 seconds and he... He bit into an entire pack of chicklets and they stuck vertically like tombstones. He fell asleep on the keyboard and just held down the X for XXXXXXXXL size. Oh wow. So he's got, his teeth are like... Oh wow.

He's got a tan line on his chin because his fake teeth are so big. See, again, I'm being supportive of that, right? If you want to get big silly teeth, like a comedian, I'll support you. He said he was going to kill himself. He says, I'm going to jump off a bridge because this little 21-year-old walking set of issues of daddy issues left him I guess I think that's true oh and he says you know what I'm not having a good time and I'm up to my I'm up to my teeth and debt I'm gonna jump off a bridge and I think that would be great I'm saying I I agree. You should do that. Well, and I'm the bad guy

I'm unwell Encouraging people in their dreams and now jump. I don't think you're gonna jump off any bridge You're gonna just pull a hamstring. Maybe just walk off of it. Let gravity do the let gravity do the work, buddy You're not jumping anywhere. Okay working too hard You don't need to your last moments on earth don't need to be pulling a hammy, right? You know going to go out on the way down. Just step off the bridge. Don't jump right and I'm the bad guy He says I'm unwell What a world we live in we're a walking half ton of cancer can call me a well-adjusted person

in a sick world, unwell, and bully me. I don't even know what to do about it. It's so upsetting. I should probably just let it go. But that's what happens. Has that ever worked for you? When good people do nothing, what is that saying?

When good people like me do nothing. All it takes for that saying? When good people like me do nothing. All it takes for eatin' on everything. All it takes for boogies, fat, evil to triumph is for good people like me to do nothing. I guess that's what I guess I'll just do nothing and take it up the ass. Did you see Don Lemon got married? No I didn't. Um. I did not.

Did you know he was gay? No. I didn't. Um... I did not. Did you know he was gay? No. I didn't know he was gay. He said white men are the most dangerous threat facing America. Uh-huh. And then he married a white man. Oh, no. Isn't that odd?

I didn't think the bedroom antics go there. Look at this, just married. Look at these two happy men with their Bichon Fries dogs in front of the courthouse, I guess. I don't know. It's not... Oh, the church, I guess. I don't know what kind of church that is that would be smiling upon this.

It was green screened. Did the dogs get married too? What is... What's going on here? Look at how happy these dogs are. He's holding the two white dogs and he's holding the black dog. He's holding the black one, yeah. Speaking of black, look at this guy.

He's like, oh, Jesus, yeah. Oh, Jesus, boys. Oh, my mercy, boys! In a house of God, gentlemen! Oh, mercy! Did you need the dogs, fellas? Did you need to bring the dogs, fellas? Geez, Louise! Oh, Louise is Christ! Did you need the dogs fellas? Did you need to bring the dogs? Fellas, jeez

Oh, that is a great look at him. That's a great look Come on now fellas, he's like this shit's gonna be all over the news. Oh man. Keep it in the bedroom You two you two Mary Nances. Oh What would Obama say now? Lord it It's just funny to it's funny to speculate you think they're gonna you think they're gonna AI him out of there Maybe put a big smile on yeah Get them go get them. Yeah get him! Yeah, thumbs up.

Yeah. Who's getting fucked in this scenario? I hope it's Don Lemon. No idea. Obviously. No idea? No idea. Which one looks like the fucker? Maybe that's what he's wondering. Maybe that's why his face is so screwed up in consternation. Yeah, he's really deep in thought. He's got a lot of questions.

Which one of these is doing the fucking? I don't know. I don't know about that Can I get it any bigger? Oh you guys can see it. All right, let's begin the show boogie calling me Hun well, I can't get over it. What a world What should I do to be well, what is the to be more mentally well, you're the expert what should I do? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee You are the king of the showrooms contest coming from Mount Bunker deep in the hudde city failing your hostic passion in my own and also on that one join me as always world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer Hello dick. What's up buddy? We'd all be praying for the shuttle to blow up, right? I would. I don't know if I want to you know. Maybe not. We've got a couple already.

I can always you know view the footage. There's always room for one more. If I'm feeling down I can always. But you need it in 4k. You need a shuttle blow up in 4k. I know it's true yeah. And then you get everybody coming out and eating shit on camera. You know the government comes out, eats some shit, everybody. Unless Trump is the president, but he won't be, obviously. They're never gonna let that happen. I want a big round of apologies from everybody on why the shuttle blew up this time. Gotcha.

Why did we even start talking about this? Oh yeah, going to the moon. We couldn't go to the moon again. Yeah, how did we start on that? I don't remember. Man, we went to a little bar crawl. These kids have no chance. These kids today. Oh really? Yeah, why? These Zoomers or millennials or whatever they're called.

I mean, there's a lot of reasons why, but. It's like their culture is just so fucked and bizarre. It's like an apocalypse in slow motion. What their culture is just so fucked and bizarre. It's like a slow poc- it's like an apocalypse in slow motion. What their culture is. They're all wearing clothes, they're selling to each other out of the trunks of their car, and writing each other poems. And the whole pub crawl, you remember a pub crawl back in the day? Of course. It's changed a lot, Sean.

How's it? Now there's one bar, 47 flea markets of hipsters, or what we would have called hipsters, but now they just look like poor people, but they're kids. Right. They look like they cut their own hair with clippers. It looks like a fucking disaster, their hair. Like, it's like Moe from The Three Stooges in the front, and then Fabes in the front

and then Fabio in the back with chunks missing out of their head. Like they didn't know what the guards on the clippers were for. Just random chunks selling racks of what looks like just trash that they outgrew their clothes. And one bathroom. So they're all waiting,

they're waiting 40 minutes to go to the bathroom. At the one bar pub crawl? The one bar pub crawl. Pub crawl that isn't. Yeah, the pub crawl that isn't. So what, you say you go around to, like instead of multiple pubs,

there's just a pub and then flea markets? You just buy in flea, just clothes that they took off this morning, I guess, all rumpled up in big bags. They're swapping each other bags of clothes. What a weird concept. And the homeless, it's very difficult to tell even which of the homeless are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw a fat naked homeless woman shitting in a home depot bucket. How am I supposed to chip? Chip, exactly what I said. What kind of distraction going on? I said, look, this lady's shitting up there. And she flipped me off. I'm like, huh, I said look this lady's shitting up there and she flipped me off like You're shitting in a bucket in full view of a flea market I'm out of line for pointing it out. Well in what universe lady? How about I come up there and tip you over?

Mid shit, what are you gonna do about it? Then we'll see whose I can go home and shower right okay, right you have no such. What are you gonna? Do jump in the LA River mmm wrong mmm trying to wash the shit off they built the homeless people have built a Like a society and the underpass because they got those big I beams on the yeah on the overpass Right big I beams, and they're exposed on the underside, so they figured out. It's very clever I don't know which one one of them figured it out. Yeah, but they wedged... They maybe there's one among them who has an engineering degree. The rest are obviously art history, liberal arts degrees. They've wedged a piece of wood under the I-beams for support. So they have like a treehouse society.

I've seen some creative shit pretty creative shit over the years. It's pretty good. I don't know how they keep that neighborhood safe though. How do you keep your treehouse safe as a homeless? If you leave it, somebody's going to squat in it, right? So how do they do it? Because they clearly have some kind of code that I don't understand. They're shitting in buckets.

You've got to really know who your allies are out there, I think. As a homeless? Yeah, because it really, I mean- What do they do? Do they kill each other if like somebody moves into their house? Sometimes. Do they knock the wood out?

Yeah. Do they light it on fire? We don't hear about it, but yeah, I mean, there's- I guess you light it on fire. Definitely, definitely murders going on out there when you, you know. Not enough. It's, yeah, I don't know, man.

That's a crazy world. Yeah, it is. Slowpocalypse, that's what they're living in. Gotcha. It's like we were playing this video game that was like the post-apocalypse video game. Yeah. Where you play as a-

Oh, that one, huh? Yeah, that one. Where you play as a cat going around. A cat. Yeah, and I put my foot down on this video game because every video game is let's play it. Her, my girlfriend's saying, let's play a video game. And then the second it gets hard, it's here, you do it.

Now it's me playing a video game. As a cat. I don't want it, yeah. I don't, I'm- I don't want to be a cat. I don't want to be a cat today, okay? You do the cat. So-

Are you actually just a cat trying to like navigate? So it it's like as I go back to the top above all the robots and stuff and mutants Yeah, but you don't like I mean you're not a human trapped in a cat's body. You're just I guess you are technically You're supposed to be just a cat but then the cat gets like a robot that talks to it which makes no sense Oh, sorry, okay, so we have a different brain and like actually a cat you're not supposed to yeah But how the fuck you understanding the robot well? It makes no sense. It's like, all right, I don't understand this shit at all. Okay, so we have a different brain than like actually a cat. You're not supposed to, but how the fuck are you understanding the robot? Well, I know.

It doesn't make any sense. Or maybe you're not understanding the robot. The robots, who knows what they're doing. So, both of them, I don't know what they're doing. Strange, what's it called? Stray. Stray. Yeah, but the robots have their own little like,

imitation society. I felt the same fucking way watching these kids selling their own clothes back to each other. Having no drinks. Maybe sharing one bathroom. The other one's out of order. Like this is no way to live guys. No. This is no way to live.

Did you happen to catch the biggest problem this week? No. No? We had a fog-related incident, a fog machine-related incident. A fog machine-related incident. Yeah. You have a fog machine? I do now.

Yeah, I thought it would add to the piratey ambiance of the show. Got it. Yeah. The mist coming up off the water. Exactly. Just before dawn. Yeah. But it said on the fog machine, don't use an enclosed non-ventilated space.

I said, well, that's probably, you know, that's not for me. That's for somebody else. Right. That's just a suggestion, right? I think they were right on that though. One hit and it was like a fucking packed to the brim of fog in here. It's pretty dangerous. Just touch and go for a minute.

Nobody knew who was touching whose leg. You know? One of those situations. But you could breathe okay? I could, but Vito and Josh Denny could not. They're hacking up a lung. I'm like, man, what am I doing that this is fine for me? Like nothing.

Did I sprain something? No, I mean, I don't know. Your baby... Kind of superpower? Well, more or less. Is that what we're calling it? Okay, okay, weight maybe? You think the weight's gotten to them?

I mean, it doesn't help. I mean, nobody gets fat and breathes better. No, they're using it as an excuse. I don't know. To have the fog, to breathe. I'm just trying to find a common denominator. Let me see what I have here. I've got the night. Oh, yes, sex working for Jesus.

Oh. That's what they're after, right? Jesus? Yeah. You got, we need more sex workers. That's, I think I figured it out. That's the bottom line is sex work. They need sex workers for Jesus. This is...

Let's see, Isom. What's going on here? Corgan, I think, drew Isom. He did it. He worked making new Shawnees. So he drew some Isom related assets for the Shawnees. This is a girl who was on OnlyFans. Yeah. Could you tell by looking at her that she's crazy? Are those crazy eyes?

Yeah, they are. They are. Yeah? Yes. Past her, like almost my entire life. Very difficult. So it's the damnedest thing. She was on this podcast that just exists to like make OnlyFans whores look stupid.

Like that's the name of the show. Just get the girls on there and then like... This is the podcast? No, this is another show. This is a serious show. It looks like it. I was going to say... A closeted gay man is doing a hard-hitting interview. Two and a half hours it took him to interview some girl who stopped doing OnlyFans. Is this really, did you need two and a half hours to get to the bottom of this?

She stopped doing OnlyFans because of Jesus. Sure. It's one of the funniest bits I've seen in quite a long time since Andy Kaufman wrestled women. Yeah. Right. She goes on the show, huge whore, doing porn on OnlyFans, which I think is cool. I enjoy pornography. You've been very consistent with that.

Yeah, and quite frankly, whoring is maybe the best thing women could do. There should be a Whore of the Year award. There might be a Whore of the Year award. I think you've said this before So she goes on the show and then everyone makes fun of her. So this is like a Christian show Mm-hmm. This one I can tell that it's called the Israeli wire. I think he works for it's a oh the daily wire Sorry, that's the name of it Okay So then she then she says I'm doing, I'm not whoring anymore.

Now I'm whoring for Jesus. Now she's into God, right? Right. And it's funny because it's totally split the, the God community. Really? Because a lot of them are like, we don't believe this whore. And then the other half's like, well, you're supposed to believe every whore, no matter what.

And they're like, no, I don't, no, we don't have to believe every whore no matter what. And then all the women throw in, you know, how dare you guys not believe this whore? It's like, well, you guys are, you guys are number two in the line, right? For this one. So she's sex working for Jesus now.

So she's still whoring? No. Well, that's what I don't know. Why do you need a two hour interview, two and a half hours to promote an ex whore? Right. What is the story here? The story must be that she's still having sex for money, but doing it in Jesus name. Yes, exactly! Now I got a husband! Two and a half hours, now who knows? It's got to be a movie! It's got to be a long movie! It probably is as dumb as like, yeah, now I don't fuck anymore.

But it should be what we're saying. But it kind of is, isn't it? What is the target demo for this ex-whore show? Is it now? Cause the tease of OnlyFans is that they might fuck you. That's why guys are spending the money, right? Cause it's a little taste of- Personal.

Yeah, a little taste of more personal pornography. A little bit of I might fuck you, right? Which is fine, but just don't, you know, put a budget on yourself. Don't be, you know- Some people can't, you know- Some people pay 300 bucks to go to a concert, right? Would do whatever you want.

It's because they want so bad. They want that, you know. I mean, and it's really, it's, you know, there's people who will prey on that. Yeah, so now she's, now you get a more intimate connection with her and she's not fucking anybody, but still she might, now you might save a hoe, right? That's the message of this.

You too could save a hoe. Cause that's what you want. What a racket. Exactly. Yeah. It's so funny. Oh my God, guys, guys, we did it. We saved a hoe.

You guys are next in line. Line up, start crying about how much you love this, us, what we're doing here, which has nothing to do with God, but we're all pretending it does, right? Start crying about how much you love it, and then you're up next for the next ho that needs saving. We don't want any of these crappy girls that we already have. We want the hoes. Like everybody else.

Like we have for thousands of years. Everybody wants these hoes, and we're gonna save them and give them to you. I have a two hour, two and a half hour documentary to rope you in. Look, these hoes are genuine saved hoes. Nothing fake about these hoes, boys and girls, boys, not girls, we don't want any of you

regular religious girls, we want the hoes. It's like a multi-level marketing presentation. It is! It is! Two hours long! Yeah, it's like, oh wow, they saved that hoe, huh? How much? And he's talking to her? What is that, ten minutes? I mean, you can't- two and a half hours? What the fuck are you talking- who's being sold what here? Guys, her conversion is real. Over the course of this- of this presentation, you will walk away. You don't believe her? You're fucking it up for the rest of us, man. Yeah. This is a genuine- her salvation is real. Um, and the next two and a half hours, I will prove beyond a doubt that a hoe can be saved and it can be you!

Isn't that bizarre? It's pretty good. Pretty good stuff. Yeah. Do you see the, I got a woman one earlier today. Woman alert. Woman alert. You know that guy, what's his name, Otani? The new Dodger guy? He hit his first home run for the Dodgers.

Do you see that? I didn't see it now. So this is some great shit that they pulled. The Dodgers grabbed the couple that got his home run ball and they separated the wife from the husband. Which at that point it's like, you know, any regular, and a guy catches the first time home run ball, you're like, oh boy, let's see, I want front row seats and I want to be allowed to wear blackface

at every game and I want to be on the big screen, I want my dick on the big screen. So you're saying that like the barter that happens for like a... Priceless! On the big screen. I want my dick on the big screen. So you're saying that like the barter that happens for like a Priceless. Yeah, well like a special home run ball like a record breaking ball. First home run ball. Oh man you guys get out your checkbook and I want some weird stuff. I don't want Norm. I don't want just money. I want weird subliminal dick pics. Who cares about he's been in the league for years like what because he's in a Dodger uniform. Dodgers memorabilia. Who gives a fuck about any of it? It's all just random shit that they're celebrating.

But what you do is you're like yes I want a fucking I want a uniform I'm signed I want like this I want a bunch of bats I want you know a bunch of signed balls yeah and like generally they'll do it if it's of course enough. So they they separated her from her husband. And then like Here's a picture of a dog. Okay, here's the ball. Yeah! I said, I was talking to an 80's girl, I'm like, well how much would you sell it for? She said, honestly I would just say, take it, I don't even want anything.

Yeah, you fucking scumbags. You motherfuckers. Wouldn't be important to her. Who cares, right? Is it that important to get it at a deal? That you couldn't fuck both of them over Yeah, you know you're gonna fuck them over anyway They threatened to not authenticate the ball if she didn't sell it for like they lowballed her and said well if you don't sell It we're not gonna authenticate. You know they'll authenticate a home run ball. Yeah, fuck you

Yeah, she should have just burned it then yeah, yeah No woman is ever gonna do get you bring a guy in there. He's got a couple beers right alright, sir What do you want? Oh well well well well well yeah shoes on the other foot like a married with children episode Yeah, how'd you much do sell that ball for a pig right? Yeah? Yeah, you gotta call their bluff cuz they're fucking they're always're always gonna, they're fucking you, it's just how bad are they fucking you. Yeah. What would you ask for for a homerun ball?

I gotta get some good seeds. Well, you know, good ones. 100%. Good ones. Not crazy, but good seeds. And a big thing, put me, let me do the thanking the veterans part. Oh yes.

Really sarcastically, right? Let me announce that, hey everybody, a real big thanks for the veterans in the crowd today. They're doing so much to secure, I mean America's freedoms. I can't tell you how important you guys are. Big, a big snapping, let's get a round of snaps for all the veterans in the crowd today, woo.

That would be like- You guys totally deserve those pensions by the way. That would be the viral video to end all viral videos. If you did that just like that and they didn't come take it from you before you finished. I mean, that could make the news cycles for weeks. Entire industries would be new channels. You think-

It would become a thing. Everyone would want to do a more sarcastic, thank the troops. Yeah. Right? Oops, let me see. Crazy. This one. I had a good fat one. What do they give her? Like four oops, let me see. Crazy. I have a good fat one.

What do they give her? Like four grand, I think. I mean- Nothing. Yeah. We worth it. It said it'd be worth $100,000. Oh my god.

The fucking ball? Okay, what's special about- Come on, they love those, you know, they love those balls. Sean, they love those goddamn baseballs. Kids are going monkey, ape shit in the crowd when they catch one. Have you ever caught one? No.

I've had- One bounced off my dad's glove. You said that. God, I laughed the entire, I laughed for the rest of the game and the entire way home and the replay on DVR that my mom saved. Huh, I've only, I've had them come pretty close, but I mean, not even as close as like four or five people

away, like maybe like I was in like the middle of a row and maybe close to the end near my row. But it's funny, cause like I've sat in good seats over the years, but yeah, nothing, that's funny that I don't even know if I know anybody who has had the opportunity to miss a foul ball, like your dad, yeah. That's really special. He brought his glove and he didn't fucking,

he didn't squeeze it. Pulled his head. He pulled his head. Was it a, how was it hit? Was it a pretty good shot? Yeah, it was hard. Oh, it was, okay. It was hard, yeah.

But still, gotta keep your head down. Okay. Dad, you gotta get, you know. Well, I remember being a little kid and someone hitting hard shots at me from not from in front of where the batter is and saying, you know, that was hard to me. Keep your head down. Keep your head down. I don't want to keep my head down because there's a fucking ball coming at me and there's

no point to this. What's so fucked up about growing up as, you know, in playing baseball is that you always practice on the worst field. So like these guys get, these guys get true hops. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden you're at the school or wherever your fucking little league team is playing

and it hits like a clump of grass. And all of a sudden shoots up and hits you in the face when it was just like, you know, it was about eight inches off the ground for three bounces and then it fucking bounces up and hits you in the fucking eye. Yeah, of course you're not gonna trust a fucking grounder. Why was I keeping my head down for any of this? Can we do something? And again, every single

about, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. Oh no, it's crazy. As obesity rises, big food and dietitians push anti-diet advice. Someone's catching on, Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's catching on to it. Jace Raunchen struggled to lose weight for years,

but she felt as if a burden had been listed when she discovered YouTube influencers advocating health at every size, urging her to stop dieting and start listening to her mental hunger. What? I'm glad this early today I'm glad that you're seeing something like this in the Touch of back. I like that. It's in a left-wing newspaper. It's on a left-leaning. You know what I mean? There's a great reset happening right now. Can you feel the bullshit? No, I can. Can you feel the bullshit that the Rock is cooking? Yeah. A great and powerful reset is happening where all the progressives are taking their one step back from their 50 step forward and saying,

huh, you know what, guys? Women are too fat. Well, because... They actually should lose a couple pounds, maybe one or two. And everyone goes, oh, thank fucking Christ. You fight like the Rock came out and said, you know what? I regret saying to vote for Biden. Cause it caused division. Oh, is that what, was that the worst part of it

that happened, the rock? Thanks a lot. Why don't you give yourself another medallion? What were you gonna say? Sorry, I interrupted you. No, nothing. Just that when you, at some point you lose, you lose touch with any just reasonable people

when you go so far. Yeah. Yeah, on either side. So you're just like, I just can't relate to, like, what do you mean? Like this flies in the, like we know what happens when you're fucking morbidly obese. We know that, you know. Here, is this, do you think this is losing touch with reality?

Let me load up this, JK Rowling, I guess is going to prison for making front trans people. Oh my god. What is going on here? What? It's a beautiful lady. Was somebody grafted a baboon's asshole onto her face? Why would you say that? See, the millennial haircut is imagine just this up front and then it's just shaved randomly. There's a zoomer haircut sorry we're millennial. Our millennials are right under us. A British Brazilian

trans social media influencer for plastic surgery expresses criticism of JK Rowling. I don't believe I am a woman I am a woman okay. I don't believe I am a woman. I am a woman. Okay. I don't believe that I'm a woman I am a woman even my birth certificate has been changed to Jessica was born a female that settles it I was born in Brazil So I do have a Brazilian passport, but also have a British passport and my both passports also She's had so much plastic surgery. She't speak. And I'm a woman. She still speaks too much. In my mind, in my soul, in my appearance, in my body, in the touch of my skin. When I wake up in the morning and I look myself in the mirror to brush my teeth like everybody,

I see the image of a woman. And I never felt like a man. Therefore, I am a woman. The emotions, the feelings inside. Yeah. So it's very sad. Saying retarded shit. That's woman, woman, woman. Read the headlines lately about J. King Rowling.

Someone that I have read her books growing up. Someone that I have always. Okay, all right. That's enough of that. You think they're losing, you think they realize they're losing a little bit of touch? I don't know, man. Is J.K. Rowling still like...

Yeah, cause she's so, like, she's just anti, she says trans women aren't women. Yeah, that's what, you know. She's traditionally, but she's- She might go to prison for it, honestly. She's traditionally been like pro gay and lesbian though, right? Yeah.

Didn't she say Dumbledore was gay? There's a whole scene of him getting raped. It's just funny where people's lines are. Yes, I remember that. That's the director's cut of one of the movies. What do you mean people's lines? Like she's not supportive enough? Well, that's kind of a progressive stance, you know, like, but it's an old progressive

stance, so like the new stuff she's not on board with. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That's what I'm saying. I just find it interesting. I don't care what she thinks. It's funny out of all the women on the planet, they got maybe one or two that will say like, no, fuck off, don't take our stuff. That's our stuff. You got a guy, they're like, we're coming to take your penis, your gun, and almost every one of them, like, fuck, no you're not. You got a woman, hey, we're gonna come and take your bathrooms and stuff.

And they're like, ooh. I wish one of us was a billionaire so they could say something about this. I wish I had a home run ball to give away. Yeah, exactly. I'll trade this home run ball for a bathroom. A bathroom. If I could have a bathroom, please.

Genuine whores! We got genuine converted whores over here for you! Line up to worship God through the Israeli wire and you too, the daily wire, excuse me, I keep fucking it up, and you too could walk, could go home with a genuine whore. Everything you love about the body, but we scrambled her brains. So she worships you now. Forget it. And she comes with a big dowry, right?

Of nine million bucks that she got from the whoring, which you gave her a little bit of, you know, by watching all this anti whore content, which is why it exists, right? You love whores, but you love hating them. So we made this special show where you can hate them, the whores performatively, and then we fix them right up for you.

Good as new. Better than new. Better than new. Better than new, all the godliness. New improved Jesus. New and pro, all the godliness of the women that you love, but without all the dumpiness that you hate. Right, right.

You know? We polish the devil up. We put the devil in a headlock. Come on, devil, you get in line. Oh yeah, Fetterman I saw talking about squatters saying, so they have 30 days and then they're renters basically. Do you know that about squatters? Yeah, I don't know.

I know there's all kinds of weird fucking rules. Trying to give a shit about because nobody's got two houses. Right? Like they're trying to make this a big, God, the squatting's out of control. It's like, yeah, but most people don't really have a house, so they don't give a fuck. Yeah, well, except unless you're a fucking investment group or something that has a bunch of houses. And it's like, oh, the poor investment fucking bankers.

Yeah. Poor senators in their houses that they took so that nobody can buy a house. Let me find... Yeah, exactly. Let me find the quote of Fetterman. Fetterman's like, part of the great reset, the great bullshit, let's call it the great bullshit, is all these liberals turning around and like now they're acting tough on crime and stuff.

Yeah, right. He says, squatters, Fetterman says, squatters have no rights. How can you even pretend that this is anything other than you breaking the law? Oh yeah, man. I mean How much how much money did you just send to Ukraine and who's breaking the law here? It's wild that if you go away on a long trip for 30 days, bro

Who the fuck are you talking to? Yeah, and everybody eats this shit up because they love like guys They love guys who talk macho. Yeah, that's it. You just got to talk macho and both sides will fucking love you no matter how stupid it is what you're saying. It's wild if you go away on a long trip for 30 days and someone breaks into your home and suddenly they have rights. Yeah. Okay. These people who say stuff like this usually don't know the finer details of like the laws and stuff like that in any of like the- Well there is squatting. No there is. I mean it's- I agree with them but I also don't give a fuck.

It's like yeah well you left your home alone for 30 days, why do you have a house? Yeah I know it can be a pain in the ass. You fucking assholes turned houses into- you made houses- you created a shortage of houses to make boomers rich. And this is what, and your banker buddies, and this is what they're doing. Just buying them and letting them sit. People are building shanty towns under the freeway overpass. So go fuck yourself.

Sorry you lost your guaranteed to appreciate asset. 100% I Can argue with none of that God's not well, you got to get a house God's not making any more of them like well No, it's the late we print it land. Just all the rules that you guys made so we can't have cheap houses Like this is this is crazy like if somebody stole your car and then they held it for 30 days Then somehow you have some rights. Yeah, all of a sudden senators have a big problem. Yeah, sure.

Oh, fuck, people are gonna steal our houses. Well, no, exactly. Until it fucking, until it affects them. Who is, they're always the last ones to be affected by anything. What's the most important? Well, we gotta make sure that everybody's second and third home doesn't get lived in.

And people go, second and third, yeah. Right? Yeah. And we gotta make sure that Israel has enough cash to do whatever they're doing. I mean, cause I'm fine, I'm fine. Which means that everybody in America is fine. So like now we have plenty to, yeah. But they got this like retarded guy

to phrase it in like a tough talking way. Yeah, look at that picture. He's drinking beer. He's just so, he's so perfect. Yeah, it's great. It's a great shot. This is a perfect representation. I think he's Gen X, isn't he?

I don't know. Is he at the top end of us? I don't know how old he is. He looks about 50 something. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, he could be one of the older Gen-Xers, right? I've gone to police funerals. If this individual's convicted, then he should spend the rest of his life in prison. Wait, what does police funerals have to do with-

Oh, tough-talking bullshit! Oh, okay, yeah. I'll do the police one, too. Thanks a lot, boys in blue. Thanks for making sure no one's drinking in the parking lot before the game. Yeah. I know how miserable everyone was in the 70s and 80s and 90s when you could do that. Thanks so much. And especially thanks to all the women police officers

out there today who didn't shoot anyone on the way to a game. We really appreciate that. I admire your restraint. Yeah, if you could go ahead and never use your guns, that would be amazing for me. Good. Here we go, I got a stats for you about the houses.

Underbuilding, I think this is just California, underbuilding for houses is 90,000 units a year. Estimated shortage of 2.7 million houses. That was in 2010. And since then, it's just been, it's been about that average, a shortfall of 90,000 units. So I mean I'm not a scientist but you got 90,000 less than you need every year, price is going to go up artificially, right? Well yeah because- Hey McDonald's you guys can only make 20 hamburgers a day. Like oh shit, hamburger's 500 bucks then. And this is, they always figure out a new way that like, right before a crash, it's always like,

there's new lending practices. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, every time. That's every time. And then, and this- Things are going good, let's go ahead and loosen up the laws. Right, and this time, this time they've managed to keep interest rates high, yet prices high.

Which is traditionally not how it's supposed to work, because money, if it's expensive to borrow, you can't borrow as much, you can't afford the payments. Prices come down. After World War II, there was a boom in construction of homes. And they were, so the homes that they built after World War II, where they had to house

like a shitload of people. Well yeah, and they all had like, is that one of the GI Bill or something like that? Yeah, that's how a bunch of people got houses, yeah. The size of the house and the size of the lot now would be illegal to build. Oh, sure, sure. So you can't have like, you know, a guy,

you can't have people living in your house and like rent out a room and stuff, and you just can't make enough houses that are that efficient and small. Well, the one thing, we've talked about it on the show a little bit, but the baby boomers are the generation that basically came up with red tape,

like just ubiquitous red tape. Everything, everything to keep it. Once you're in, you're in. But the cost of entry is so high into so many things that like you just can't follow. It's fucked. And they got these kids fighting about whether or not they should be chopping their penises off.

You guys got to stop. Who gives a shit? Yep. It's funny either way. Here's US employment rates by degree. Well, this is like a no duh, right? I mean, this has been the joke ever since I can remember. Oh yeah, nice art history degree.

Why do they let this happen, man? What the fuck? They're just happy to fucking, they're happy for you? They're happy to take your money. Art history, unemployment rate versus underemployment rate. So underemployment is when they're in, they're not in full-time jobs or it's not like a job that's related to their skill.

8% unemployment for art history. How the fuck, what are you gonna do with art history? How do you go in there and think this is a good spend of money? You can only like teach, right? I mean, or maybe become a curator or, you know. Once you do all the history of art, isn't there at some point where it's done?

Like we did it. Yeah, I mean, do you like to last week? How recent history are you like an expert on? Didn't we, did we get all the art? I think we got it. We got enough papers written about it. You could have Chad GPT just write the papers now. Liberal arts is slightly less than art history.

Fine arts, aerospace engineering. Perhaps we need to fire some of the higher some of these guys, but the under if the Underemployment is very low in aerospace engineering right so it's like so the unemployment is high in other if you're working as an aerospace Engineer you're working for the most part right is there is that that high? The oh they don't have enough planes being- Is that- is that why all the planes are falling out of the sky and falling apart? Bro.

Because these guys aren't getting paid? Fucking... yeah. Yeah. No, Boeing is right in bed with fucking Congress, like, big time, like, right out in the open. And they're- they're going like, Oh, you guys need to waive these rules. And they're like, Oh, okay, yeah, we'll waive them.

Just, uh, make sure you tell- For safety, right? Yeah, make sure you tell the pilots, oh, well, you guys need to wave these rules. And they're like, oh, OK, yeah, we'll wave them. Just make sure you tell the pilots to make sure, if you don't need it, turn off the engine de-icer. Just tell them to remember to do that. Can you guys pump the brakes on the all-black female pilot crews that you're doing? Those kind of disappeared. When the plane started crashing, I noticed that there was no more like the women of south, bad bitches of Southwest Airlines. Yeah going on their stampedes. Yeah

Dogs at bay going ape shit English language Okay, mass media physics too? Wow, that's not a good one. Physics, yeah, pretty big underemployment. Sociology. I mean, art history is,

that's always the punchline to the joke. It's not that much worse than physics! I mean, well, it's double. I guess. Well, the underemployment thing is, so all these people are working as like janitors, well, it's I guess double well the underemployment thing is so all these people are working as like janitors or Yeah, well not janitors. No, that's the unemployment is Fairly close but yeah, so the average unemployment is three and a half percent

These go from eight percent down to five and a half percent interesting. Mm-hmm. Here's uh Here's a funny one white liberals When asked in this survey, white liberals believe that white people are more violent. Let's see. White black violence stereotype ratings. Positive scores are whites are rated as more violent than black. White people are rated as more violent than black people.

I don't want to say blacks, even though it says that in the survey. Yeah, no, I know, yeah. It's a lit, it's a bit much. Yeah, it's a lit, yeah. So white moderates said, okay, this is the- Right, so-

This is the rankings, white conservatives say, oh, that's odd. Okay, so if it's above zero, that's saying- That means white people are more violent. And if it's below zero, it says black people are more violent. Well, or- Right?

I think that, oh, wait, wait, wait. One equals peaceful. Oh, okay. One equals peaceful and seven equals violent. So you had to- What the, yeah, yeah. What kind of, where are they doing this survey? I don't know, American National Elect- Get out Where are they doing this survey? I don't know.

American National Elect... Get out of here. Is this... I'm not putting this on paper. Get the fuck out of here, lady. Yeah, I don't know. Who's taking this survey? Yeah, I don't know.

Well regardless, white liberals give black people a more peaceful... Not the same. Right. You know? If I'm putting something in writing, I'm saying the same, right? Because it's in writing. Yeah. But white liberals have gone the extra step and have gone ahead and rated white people more violent.

Maybe that's, you know what? Maybe it's true. Black people aren't sending any tax money to Ukraine, are they? I don't think so. I don't think they get a choice where it goes. Black people aren't sending any tax money to Ukraine, are they? I don't think so. I don't think they get a choice where it goes. Black people aren't sending tax money. If you asked a black guy, hey, you want to send some money to Israel so they could wipe out Gaza? I think that guy would say no.

But white people would say, yeah, yeah, let me get how much you want. I think a higher percentage of white people would say yes than black people. Yeah. About sending money somewhere else. Yeah. You guys feel like going on a crusade? Yeah, when? Black people, you feel like going on a crusade? Nah, man. Yeah, no. A crusade?

Yeah. Psh. Like a car? Like a kind of car? Last time you strapped us to tanks. Yeah. Uh, I don't think they would. Yeah. I agree.

Maybe they're right. Uh, who am I to doubt? Who am I to doubt them? I don't think they would. Yeah, I agree. Maybe they're right. Who am I to doubt? Who am I to doubt them? Okay, let's see. Oh, yeah. What did I click on? Oh, nothing. I was just looking at that. Is this the anti-diet advice or the Atoni one?

Well, you were on the... I was on the anti-diet one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let me think. I don't know. Were we done with that? No, we're not. We weren't done with with that Sean. Okay. Thank you for bringing that up Jay struggled to lose weight for years But she felt as if a burden had been listed when she discovered lifted when she discovered YouTube influencers advocating health at every size

Urging her to stop dieting and start listening to her mental hunger. Oh no. What is your mental hunger? Fat brain. Fat brain. You've heard of wet brain? This is fat brain. You know, Vito, he couldn't, we were talking about, you know, hygiene on the show, and he could not, what kind of soap do you use?

Iris Spring. Right away, right? I asked Randy the same question, instant answer. Same for me. But me and Josh Dunny could not get an answer out of veto for what kind of soap he used. It went from body wash to like dish soap to some sort of mystical soap with an orange cap

that he couldn't define. Yeah. We never got to the bottom of it. Mystical soap with an orange cap. An orange cap. Like how do you not know the, what do you mean orange cap? Yeah. Is that a brand? That I don't know about? I don't know. You can't be using body wash. Body wash is no good. You ever get to an Airbnb, the worst part is always, ugh, fucking body wash.

Yeah. It doesn't work. It's like half lotion. I don't know if I've... It smells like slime. It's a different... It doesn't seem like it rinses as clean or something, but like... Doesn't it suds right? It feels like a film you're putting on and then like kind of wiping off. I mean, you have to...

You're not supposed to use it with your hands, I don't think. You're supposed to put it on with something. That's even grosser. To get it to sud. And they never have that at the Airbnbs. Otherwise it's just, it is like, otherwise it doesn't, it won't, you know, lather up if you just use your hands. Okay, let me see here. Am I not in?

Oh yeah, I am, okay. She stopped avoiding her favorite foods. She stopped avoiding her favorite foods such as cupcakes and Nutella. Your favorite food is cupcakes? That's what I was just gonna say. What are you, five? That's the thing, when you ask people,

you're supposed to think like, for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, what's your favorite food? Generally that goes to like, people think dinner. What are you, a horse? What's your favorite food? Peanut butter. It's not a food, really. It's not an acceptable answer to that question.

No, it's supposed to be like a... Gummy bears. What's your favorite meal? What's your favorite... What's the favorite main part of your meal? Steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Favorite food? Lasagna. That's a fucking answer.

Cupcakes. There's a lot of cupcakes. I like them all. Yeah. They made me feel like I was safe eating. I was safe eating whatever the hell I wanted. Yeah. She had to, you could feel how fat, even her swearing is fat. But it's like, yeah, they made me feel like I was safe. So it's like, you know, you, you know that you've heard that all of this is bad, right? You literally just, you found what you were looking for. You fucking fat liar. Fuck you. You found what you've heard that all of this is bad, right? You literally just, you found what you were looking for. You fucking fat liar, fuck you. You found what you were looking, you found somebody,

oh, somebody who has a social media presence rubber stamped it for me. Forget about the fact that they have no fucking clue what they're talking about. Some girl told me last night that red meat was actually safe, good for you. Yeah. And that I was being fed bullshit. And she actually safe, good for you. Yeah. And that I was being fed bullshit. And she's like, yeah, you got to watch this YouTube guy.

I'm like, you know what? Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and stop you. I don't believe you. The chiropractor? Yeah. Because that's what it's going to be. Yeah.

I wish that what you're saying is true and the red meat was good, but I don't believe you at all. Yeah. Yeah. Because it tastes too good. Yeah. I'm sure it's very like, I'm sure it's very like I'm sure it's very very like caveman II but caveman You only biologically you only need to live long enough to take care of your offspring

So you don't need to live longer than 25 Yeah, I mean your kids are gonna be probably old enough to have their own kids That's kind of how biology works. Well, 20 finally made me. Probably go longer than that, but. Well, puberty hits at 12. Cavemen are fucking it as soon as puberty hits. Yeah, I mean, you could maybe 30. 30's top end, and then you're gonna get killed by another, by your kid. I mean, it really is as long as you need to, yeah, biologically, yeah.

Biologically, yeah. Because you do like, you know, there is a- There wasn't the internet, so you could get called a pedophile back in the cavemen times. You know, I mean, some animals are right out of the chute, ready to fend for themselves. Yeah. You know, a lot of the- Humans need a while. Well, yeah, a lot of the higher-

12 years. Well, maybe only eight, you know? The higher mammals tend to need a while. BamBam's a little fucking monster. He could take down, he could take down animals. Better than me probably. Jesus. He could whip, he throws like a, he could throw a spear like a fucking whip. So he's the athlete out of the two of them? He's the best athlete in probably the whole family. Jesus. At eight. Yeah. His pickleball serves are unreturnable.

Really? It's amazing. God damn. I was safe eating whatever the hell I wanted, grumbled Roshan. 51, a video as editor in Wausau. You made it to 51 and you didn't know that cupcakes were bad for you? Her favorite food groups, Cupcakes and Nutella. And Nutella? You see a lot of people just chowing down on Nutella

out of a fucking feedback? Are you full of shit? What the fuck are you saying? Don't they call it like a hazelnut spread? Oh, do they? That's what's so fucking- I mean, that fucking thing. Maybe a Nutella truck once drove past a hazelnut fucking factory. Hazelnut? Like it's like, yeah, it's fucking chocolate.

Yeah, yeah. It doesn't taste like fucking hazelnuts. It tastes like fucking- it's like fucking chocolate. Yeah, yeah, it tastes like a fucking hazelnuts It tastes like fucking it tastes like liquid chocolate Fucking hazelnut spread you fucking assholes in two months. She regained 50 pounds and she couldn't figure out why Total mystery as her weight neared 300 pounds boogie wishes he was 300 pounds 300 pounds. Boogie wishes he was 300 pounds. She began to worry about her health. The videos that Rashaun encountered are part of the anti-diet movement. Who wrote this? Who wrote this? Did a woman write this? Who wrote this? Sasha... Oh, a whole team! Wow! Whole team got together.

Sasha, Chovkin, Caitlin Gilbert, Anaj... I bet they're all hot. And Anahat O'Connor. Anti-diet movement, a social media juggernaut that began as an effort to combat weight stigma. And went way too far! Went way too far. That's what happens, man. This pendulum swings way too far. Went way too far. That's what happens, man. This pendulum swings way too far.

No, we're just like, you're not a bad person if you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, it's fucking being morbidly obese is totally just as healthy, if not healthier, than being up the quote unquote correct weight. But now global food marketers are seeing, are seeking to cash in on the trend of eating. I wonder if food is like the same as,

the same as liquor and gambling, where like the hardcore addicts are funding the whole industry. Like I wonder if DoorDash is just powered on like food addiction only. Cause we don't rarely ever use ordering food. Like we make everything. Interesting. I'd like to see how much. I would think a little less,

but I would think of a large percentage of that, of the business are people who just like- Just fat people who are addicted to food. They have to order donuts every day. Yeah, yeah. Or they're ordering like a, they're ordering coffee. Okay, ordering a 2000 calorie frappuccino at 10 p.m. One company in particular, General Mills, maker of Cocoa Puffs. Yeah. Oh, thanks. And Lucky Charms.

Cocoa Puffs. But they also make Cheerios. Yeah, how did Cocoa Puffs get top billing over Lucky Charms? Lucky Charms is yeah Way more popular than fucking who eats cocoa puffs. I don't like chocolate cereal. I don't like cocoa Krispies cocoa puffs Yeah, cocoa pebbles or what? I just don't like it's like too much of just one flavor. It tastes like dessert at some point. Yeah Has launched its prolonged campaign that capitalizes on the teachings of the anti-diab movement. Is this like a religion? An investigation by the Washington Post and the Examination. Oh, so General... The nonprofit newsroom that covers global news.

General Mills is going, huh. Is this her? This is good. This is it? They took a picture of the fat lady that didn't know cupcakes were making her fat? Why? What is this? Sean, what the fuck is this? Is this journalism? No, but I mean it's...

Why is journalism dying? This is a really compelling article about a fat lady that swallowed a cupcake. Right? Did you see that article about that woman that was eating cupcakes all day and she got fat? Yeah. Wow. And she blamed the, you know. It's the anti-diet movement that did it to her.

No, it's everybody's gotta blame something. Maybe they'll start getting sued. Maybe all these fat women are gonna end up in court for pushing like anti-diet stuff, making women fat. They're not gonna lose weight, but they're gonna round up all the like fat influencers and send them to jail for like corrupting the youth, like Socrates.

Right, right. That'd be funny. Let's see here. Jesus Christ. I'm never gonna make it. Well, just go to one of these Zoomer things and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Let's see here. Jesus Christ. I'm never gonna make it. Well, just go to one of these Zoomer things and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Yeah.

Like, man, you guys, I just wanted to go up to them. Like, you gotta, like your hair is all fucked up. You gotta pick one style and go with it. Don't be, don't buy these clothes. You have your own shitty clothes. Yeah. Though you don't need, don't pay this woman to write you a poem.

It's retarded. Let's see. Seattle cancels the gifted, don't shit in a bucket. Right. Don't do that. Go, there's a restaurant right over there. Go shit in the restaurant. Seattle School Board is shutting down the gifted program, which allows the top 2% of

standardized test takers to receive enriched learning. Right. Yeah, honestly, if there wasn't any kind of gifted program in school, I probably would have just gone on a shooting spree. Yeah. I can't take it here anymore. I can't fucking take another day. They say it, quote, doesn't accurately represent the diversity of the district.

Oh, that's a... Yeah, this is the whole... Oftentimes you don't want to put it in writing like that. Yeah. Okay. Better luck next time, kids. Better luck on the next go-around. Jimmy Kimmel says the US is filthy compared to Japan.

Well, I have no doubt that's probably true. US is filthy. There's a lot filthier countries, but there's parts of the- In the US? Well, there's a lot filthier countries than the US, of course, yeah. They're sending us all their guys. But, you know, US has got some filthy ass places.

Yeah, I wonder why, why does Jimmy Kimmel think that Japan is so clean, do you think? Well, I mean, I would guess that he's been he's probably been yeah But why does he why does he think the reason for Japan being so clean is over America? What is it? Jimmy Kimmel, what do you in his mind? What do you think he thinks the reason is? Well, I don't know. I don't know maybe but you know guys with guns probably it I don't know. Maybe, but... Guys with guns, probably? Culture.

It's a culture of Americans, you'd say. I was watching something on Nat Geo. It was spotlighting a different European country and the history and the industry and all that kind of stuff and it sure seems like to this day that there is a Pride of craftsmanship that exists in places like Germany. Yeah, that does not exist here any longer Oh, yeah, and it's it is to me there is it's not a coincidence that all the greatest recording To me, it's not a coincidence that all the greatest recording items, traditionally, it's like, yeah,

the best fucking microphones, all this kind of stuff. I mean, and military stuff to consumer stuff, you know, all of that, they have, it's like, no, it's not good enough unless the tolerance is to like a 50th of a millimeter, you know what I I mean like cars all that kind of stuff and it's like There is a culture the of that gets passed down of yeah this kind of like no We it's right or it's not any anything other than perfect is is wrong Yeah, I like that. I mean, I yeah, I like that everyone does

Yeah, I like that. I mean, I yeah, I like that everyone does He's saying it but I don't he's also saying is like Japan could have I've never been Like it's spotless. Is it amazing? They can have a culture of like no, this is like this is we and there's none There's almost none of them like maybe it's a respect thing. They don't even like everybody has to live on the street I don't want to inconvenience somebody else because I've got a sticky ice cream wrapper stuck to the bench. Yeah, that's that's not okay That's I'm a bad person for doing that We don't have that here. I guess I don't really know what America is anymore It's a fucking mess the melting the melting pot didn't work, right? It just turned into a bunch of shit Yeah, that's what we have.

Can we get the shit out of the pool? Is that possible? I don't think so. No, because it's liquefied. It's not the fucking baby Ruth and Caddyshack. It's not like it's not a log. It's everywhere. You can't deport the log. It's everywhere. Yeah, you've got to raise the fucking, you know... How do we get rid of the shit in the pool? You can't drain the pool

You can't I guess not then you've then you just dump more drain the pool Dump a bunch of chemicals in there till you can tell that's worse than the problem Yeah, we're trying that Okay, here's maybe last one then I'll read some some comments. Oh Minimum wage went up to 20 and and everybody's got fired. That's funny. Yeah, minimum wage went up to 20 and everybody got fired. That's funny. Yeah, well, no shit. They were gonna have a big celebration to celebrate

getting the minimum wage thing passed. But then all the minimum wage people lost their jobs. So then they canceled the celebration. Yeah, look. This is... The California Fast Food Workers Union. It also makes a certain class of people unemployable. Like you know, that's the thing.

So like the lowest skilled workers, you know, where it's like, oh they're getting by their good... It can't work. No, no, they're like... I can only provide 10 bucks of value, sorry. Yeah. Well then I can't pay, it's illegal for me to pay you. Right.

That's like the, yeah, that's the number one thing that it goes, it's like every economist, no matter how conservative they go like, yes, it damages the least skilled people. Yeah. Yeah. They had a rally planned for April 3rd to celebrate at the Capitol. Now it got scaled back to the extremely low turnout because everybody got fired.

How do you not see? All right, guys, we raised the minimum wage. Let's go have a turnout. Yeah. Cause everybody got fired. How do you not see? Hey, all right guys, we raised the minimum wage. Let's go have a party. Oh, well I got fired cause of that. This mistaken- I mean 10,000 other guys. This mistaken illusion that somehow like, that they would just have the businesses

bent over a barrel. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, okay, well, We got them guys. We fucking got them. Later. Yeah, they're gonna have to do it.

All these rich fat cats dining at McDonald's and Wendy's. We finally got them over a barrel. Where do you eat? McDonald's and Wendy's. How did you? They don't eat at McDonald's and Wendy's. They go to like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. It's because people- And they're already paying 20 bucks an hour. Some people just, as soon as they go, well, yeah, sure, that's great. Everybody gets paid more. And they stop right there.

I know. They don't think one step further. It's like what do you think's gonna happen in California? Oh shit 20 bucks You're all fired Oh, man, it didn't work our our plan didn't work layoffs. Yeah, this is exactly how it was gonna go exactly how it was gonna go. Mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Ah. Dough. Okay, let's see here. Well, Josh Denny brought up an interesting point.

Instead of raising the minimum wage, why don't they just stop, like, taxing you? If you make... Why don't they just stop taxing everybody who makes under $100,000 a year? Just end it. Yeah, well... No taxes. No payroll taxes. No nothing. Right. Just give... Right. There's no more...

There is no paying into Social Security. They don't hold your money for you and invest it... Yeah. ...and give it back to you at some point. They just give it to boomers. Right. So why not just... Oh yeah, yeah, sure.

No, our money is... Yeah. ...stop taxing people. Yeah. Because then they wouldn't make money off this constant exchange of... Right. That's the government giving itself a big pay cut, which it doesn't even need, which is the most preposterous part. Like they spend more than they take in. So why

take in any? Just don't tax poor, don't tax people making minimum wage jobs. Right? There's no reason to do it. That is a, that is a way better idea than raising the minimum wage. They don't even need the money! Raising the minimum wage just gives them a tool to fire you. Yes, yes, exactly! Oh, you mean you're not taxing me when I hire minimum wage guys? I'm gonna hire 20 more fucking grades!

Finally! Won't affect anything else, because everything else didn't solve it anyway. Okay, here's Pete Pete Butt judge uh-huh talking about Electric cars. Let me just pursue that if I could with you Tesla sales Fell eight point five percent the first quarter of this year for this week is laying off two-thirds of its workforce at the f-150

Electric lightning plant. It's also scaling back a battery production facility because of sagging sales. EV sales are nowhere near what this president wanted or expected, yet the administration continues to shove them down consumers throats, why? Well, let's be clear, consumers have wanted and purchased more EVs every single year than the year before. And Tesla is facing more competition

as GM and Ford and Stellantis and other competitive players start to make sure they get a piece of the EV market. Let's be clear that the automotive sector is moving toward EVs and we can't pretend otherwise. Sometimes when these debates happen, I feel like it's the early 2000s and I'm talking to some people who think that we can just have landline phones forever. The reality is... Don't you hate it when you hear the joke coming? You can hear like, ah man, don't don't fucking tell this pre-scripted joke. You know sometimes, just stop

man. Where's Lee Harvey Oswald? It's funny that he brings up landlines because the government forced us to have landlines forever. Remember that? Yeah. They didn't let us go to, they didn't let DSL companies just come in and use the lines.

They said, well, phone company, we paid for that for the phone companies. So the phone company has to do internet. I can remember opening- And DSL guy said, what are you talking about? Like having apartments, like having apartments. And in order to, in order to get like billing, like you had to have a landline.

Yeah. Like you could, yeah. Yeah, they did that. Yeah, you had to have a landline. He's talking about himself. Well, you can't turn, you can't turn like your, your fucking water on or your gas on without a landline. And then you couldn't even, you try to have a landline. He's talking about himself. Well, you can't turn like your fucking water on or your gas on without a landline. And then you try to cancel anything.

They're like, we'll throw in a landline for five bucks. I don't want a landline for five bucks. We'll throw it in for free then. It's funny hearing the government say, it's like people that didn't want to give up their landline. Man, everyone wanted to give up their landline. You guys didn't let them. Let's see here. This is a new magic card.

Oh really? What is this all about? It's a pimp, a black pimp. Damn. It's a Western... The Grand Abolisher? It's like a Western black pimp. What? It's a black cowboy pimp who has a white guy tied to a cactus the grand abolisher You think because it's a magic the gathering playing card You think because you've mapped the land you own the land you own an idea nothing more he says This is like And then this white that guy guy's white, right? Rockstar Gene. He looks white.

Wizards of the Coast, who makes magic to gathering. Cooking colonizers with the flavor text. Isn't this racist? Like, isn't there like a cook element of this that's a little bit like Mandingo-y? I think I have a pretty good sense of racism. This is a bit like, why is this guy excited about this? Does he have cactus on his shoulders?

The black guy? Yeah. They're magical cactus. What are those things? Are they? I guess he's a cactus man. Okay. He's a black cactus man who ties white people to cactuses.

Right. And then these guys like this come their brains out. Jesus. They just love, they love seeing, nothing more than I love seeing them cooking of colonizers. I don't know. Okay. He's a little racist to me, that's all. What do I know?

Okay, let's read some comments. His name should have been Blacktis. Black, oh, because he's got a black cactus? Well, because he's got cactus all over him, isn't he? Am I seeing that wrong? Does he not have cactus? No, you're right. Those are cacti. Shoulder pads. Like prickly pear cactus or something on there.

Yeah. That's weird. He's got a lot of fur for the desert, man. He's trying to play a game with... Yeah. How big is that guy, too? Look at that. Is that a wolf's head up there? How cold are black head up there? Wolf's heads are big. Look at how small that is. That guy's got to be like nine feet tall. Is that a coyote head? I don't know. I mean, I think sort of. It's kind of white. Why does he have this silver thing on? What is this? What is the silver thing? The silver hat? Is he, is it this guy's hat that he well, maybe so yeah Hmm. I'm very confused. You guys are you guys are doing weird stuff over there. Yeah Brett snow says cotton and pills hate it on the recent episode

You guys were talking about why cotton was in pill bottles if I remember right like 30 years ago They didn't put cotton or seal the bottles and there was a guy who opened the bottles in the stores and put in poison pills Oh that was yeah the Tylenol thing or whatever. That's... Yeah, the seal and the cotton are anti-tampering measures. The seal, I believe, not the cotton. Yeah, no, no, no. The cotton's gotta be for broken pills. Shipping those shit around.

Yeah, that was, and that was actually, they thought that it was happening at the factory and there was this huge thing. It was like, oh my God, Tylenol's put fucking cyanide in there. It wasn't, it was a guy fucking tampering with it. Yeah. Like that's, you know. Just going from store was a guy fucking tampering with yeah, like that's you know, uh Just going from store to store. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that very well

Okay, of course you want to you know, seal it the foil of yeah Everything that's no brainer. Yeah, Kaz says you're in an odd header video. Who is this? Who's odd header? Let's see, Kaz. Okay. Oh, this is about that game YIK. Y-I-I-K. I think the developer of that game put me in the game a little bit. The last piece to this mystery, however, is one that certainly takes it in contentious direction. This is a guy who does odd header. He's a guy who does video game. Like odd header about video games. That's his name.

Yeah. Okay. I can tell right away by the by the way he's talking. It's not going to be good, right? Yeah, that's not what's coming is not good about me. I'm sure that's what I'm sensing. The last piece to this mystery however is one that certainly takes it in contentious direction as

Podcaster Dick Masterson revealed that he's the hidden NPC named Chad which the developers seem to confirm with this image on Twitter Masterson being the guy who wrote the book men are better than women and notoriously argued the same thing on dr. Phil Yeah, and evidently he's supposed to red pill you in the game to help you achieve the ending. Oh really? Yeah, I think I'm just going to stick to the bad ending. Is that why I'm in the game? Yeah, right. That's cool.

Enjoy it. Let's see, okay. Majd says Israeli caller. Hey, I found the Israeli caller on the last show very interesting. Yeah, I liked him. But when I first heard the show I wanted to respond to every point he made. Don't do that. Yeah, I know. It's hard not to. Yeah. He didn't do it. He didn't personally invade Gaza or set up Israel.

The caller? Yeah, he might not even have voted for Netanyahu. Yeah, I mean, again- Who's been calling for assassinations of leaders in the Middle East for like 30 years. Again, there are extremists that are like running the country, like it was very interesting what he said about like Orthodox, how they can get out of the

military service and then everybody becomes, you know, it's like, oh yeah, that's how you get out of it. They get like 10, they get free money every year just for the hell of it. Yeah, well and it's like, it's real easy to go like they're Orthodox, like so very extreme, right? So it's like, yeah, you guys go fucking kill those people. Like it's like, we don't have to, you know, ours don't have to go, you know, we can, we can send. Yeah, yeah guys go fucking kill those people. Like, it's like, we don't have to, you know, you know, ours don't have to go. You know, we can, we can sit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the whole, well, you know. You can't bully us because we're fanatics. Like, we look like shit and we stink all the time. You think. Or as old men start them. You can't pressure us. Old men start them, young men fight them, right?

It's real easy to fucking start a bunch of shit when you don't have any skin in the game. Yeah. When I first heard the show, I wanted to respond to every point he made, but there's no point. The chances of convincing an... Well...

Gotcha. An Israeli. Okay, what they're doing is wrong. He's not doing it though. I mean, I'm not doing war in Ukraine. Right. I'm fucking paying for it. Yeah.

I'm not doing it. I don't want to do any of this shit. He is not, the guy, Israelis are not doing this. I mean, maybe kinda, but they're no more responsible than me. I think American Christians are a little bit more responsible than me for the war in Israel, because they fucking love it. They love it.

They want that third temple. So Jesus will come down and convert all the whores to good Christian wives. That's the plan. The plan is always getting access to the whores. You just got to figure out how, everyone is in a mad race to figure out how to get young men to think they got the whores.

They're going to give them the whores when they can. That's all that matters. And that's what they want. They want Jesus to come down, build the third temple on the moon, or wherever the fuck the third temple's coming, and then all the whores, they walk into the temple as whores and they come out the other side ready to suck your dick. That's religion. That's, that is the history of religion in two sentences.

Class dismissed. Yeah. What's the unemployment rate with a degree in that? What I just gave you? Zero percent. Underemployment rate? Zero percent. High, Very high. I should be running the thing.

That's all it is. Hi, I'm Michael Knowles from The Israeli Wire. I'm interviewing this hot whore who has tons of money, and she is now worships Jesus just like you, and she might suck your dick if you're lucky, and you keep watching The Daily Wire, and she might suck your dick. If you're lucky and you keep watching the Daily Wire, maybe she'll suck your dick. Or one of these whores that we convert is going to suck your dick.

Thanks for watching, right? I know what's going on. The chances of convincing an Israel... I mean, why would they want to be convinced? If I was an Israeli, I'd be like, yeah, fucking, get rid of these fucking idiots. I can't not live here, okay? I live here. My family lives here. You're stuck here. I'm stuck here. Fuck them.

Yeah. They're on a mission from God to displace the original inhabitants of the land and they'll do it by... They're on a mission from I fucking live here. I live here. I don't want these fucks, these jihadists right over there. I want to have a music festival I don't give a fuck how many of these guys I have to wipe out to have a music festival with a bunch of hot whores Just take care of it. Okay. I don't particularly like army guys But we tolerate you guys cuz you'll go in and wipe people out. So do it to wipe people out! So do it! Uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I hate fucking... I hate Americans! They're a bunch of fucking assholes!

Walking around crying being fat as fuck! You think a jihadist looks at a picture of Vito online and goes, Oh, I hope he has a great day. That guy, he deserves it more than me. I'm starving, because these fuckers are holding food off from us for no reason! Or dropping it on us. Or dropping it on us.

There's not much to explain. Yeah. You get cut- if you get cut off in traffic, you want to kill the person that cut you off. For sure. Every single human being on the planet does that. Yeah. There's nothing to explain about it.

Right. Well, you see, it's a complex geopolitical- No, it's a complex geopolitical, no, it's fuck you. I want your stuff. Give me those goddamn whores. I want to make a handful of points. Palestine was promised to the Zionists and Arabs

simultaneously by the British. And this is after it took over from the Ottoman Empire after the first, who gives a shit? Yeah, mandatory Palestine, right? Under British control. Zionists arrived in Palestine more significantly after the Balfour Declaration of 19... Who cares?

A bunch of Jews went there. He's trying to learn you something though. I know already. I've distilled and burnt away all of the alcohol and I'm left with a distilled product of knowledge that can fit in a tight little container. Cause the rest of the brain is being wiped. I need to condense my knowledge every year

so that it fits in a smaller and smaller working brain. I thought that was happening. That's what's happening. Yeah. That's the method. I gotcha. It's all about reducing the overall knowledge. So it's just one tenet of where are the whores at.

This is all just rapping and lipstick. When the Zionists are out, when the partition took place, this is why history majors are so high on that unemployed thing. When the Zionists that purchased 5 to 13 percent of the land were given 50 percent by the UN, newly created by the victors of the Second World War. Yeah. The Hagana! The Hagana! H-A-G-A-A-N-A. The Hagana! Is that from Dune? Right.

Have you ever watched Dune? Yeah. What are the deal with the names? Well I know they're hard to remember. Yeah. Keon was giving me a whole breakdown of Dune and he remembered every single name. Yeah. Well he's probably probably I would imagine he's read it. Yeah he did read it. Yeah and that's why it's easier to it sticks in your brain you know when you see it in print. The Haganah, who later became the IDF, committed untold atrocities against the...

Yeah, every military guy does that. Yeah. They're all psychos. Atrocities are... They join the military so they can go murder and rape people. Some of them. A lot of them. A lot of them. Oh, did the army did atro...

No way! They killed people? That's crazy. They're not just out there doing Rochambeau to see who just goes home and lives life. Yeah, that doesn't happen because that's what I would do. Yeah. Hey man, let's just- let's just not kill each other. Yeah. Seems like a waste. How fat is your wife? I don't have one. Oh, please you kill me then. Hmm. You Go home live your life On the wrong side of the line to dry this is the Nakba This is something that the Israelis take immense pride in and they have not been coy at all about what they did in the Khan Unis

This is Dune. Entire villages were erased. This is the document. You know where we nuked two cities, right? Yeah. Everybody remember that? Yeah. They're trying to, people are trying to say that we had to. Now, rewriting that one.

Yeah, I mean- We had to drop our dicks on Japan. No, we did not have to do that. Well, thank God someone invented the nuclear bomb then, since we had to do it, or else we would have been really fucked, right? Thank God that was invented and then immediately used. Just in the nick of time!

Yeah. Yeah, this is the foundation of the Israeli project, which went on to kill more Palestinians. Grab them from their homes and impose a regime of apartheid on the remaining ones. I know. Welding front doors shut, forcing women to use their windows to leave their homes, and taking over someone's home. Like Rapunzel? Are women doing... Let their... Oh, yeah. Palestinian women like Rapunzel jumping out windows? Well, wait, she's let her hair down, didn't she?

They let their arm hair down? Oh, God. Nose hair. They kick families out of their homes. They seize their... I know! So kill them! What do you want me to do about it? Yeah. What do you want anybody to do about it? Hey. Hey, all you murderers, can you stop all the murdering? Who wants to... Who said that? Oh, not me. Just keep doing the murders. Never mind. Actually, I love it. You do you. You do you. I'm gonna try to ignore it. Yeah, right, yeah. Just kind of live my life and

hope that you guys aren't interested in me in any way. Yeah, yeah. Leave me alone. Yeah, leave me alone. They kick families out of their own property, seize their property for an indefinite amount of time, and then trash the place. They also harass children going to school,

detaining many to be talking back. 10,000 children have been held in Israeli prisons for the past 20 years. Oh, this is long. Yeah. In 2018, the Palestinians tried to have a peaceful march back to their homes and the Israelis shot at them. Yeah, well, what do you think they're gonna do?

This is what the IDF has done. That's why they were taken entirely by surprise on the 7th of... Oh, is this guy a Palestinian? Wow, wow. The 7th of October, as we call it, the Al-Aqsa flood. Didn't Trump stop this shit from happening when he was in there? He got both sides to agree to some shit. Well, they always agree to some shit for like two weeks.

I mean, they always like, you know, the peace accords and then they break down and somebody violates it. Yeah, I mean, it's all it kills somebody fucking never. I mean, grab someone's horse. Never. And there's nothing there's nothing we can do to fucking stop it. I don't think we don't care about stuff. Look, I'm working on my side. All right. I'm trying to convince people to stop worshiping the daily wire and stuff. Just like pump the brakes on the shit.

You want to do God's stuff at home. Don't do it with other people. Where I can see it. Yeah, don't do it where I can see it. Just do it at home. You know what? A story. Remember that it's just a story, okay? You know what I think? If you're a God person, you know what? Just don't ask, don't tell. Don't ask, don't tell. Keep it in the don't tell. Yeah. Keep it in the bedroom.

Yeah. To us it's a matter of time. Because if I see it, I'm gonna make fun of it. Let's say if it's a problem for me, if I see it. Cause you're trying to make me do something I wanna do. Gonna make fun of it. Yeah, if I see it, I'm gonna make fun of it. Right.

I have that, you have a right to believe what you wanna believe, I have a right to make fun of it. All that Redditor atheist shit doesn't work on me. Yeah. Okay? Yeah, yeah. I know that's why you guys are doing it, because the making fun of is effective. To us, it's a matter of time, and time is on our side.

This time, they lost the arrogance that no one could touch them, and that the world would support them no matter what. Yeah, I agree with you. No need to pre- I totally agree with you. They lost celebrities big time. Oh, this is the- would support them no matter what. Yeah, I agree with you. No need to... I totally agree with you. They lost celebrities big time.

Oh, this is the... Israel has lost so many celebrities. In this country, I have never seen a backlash against Israel before. People are saying crazy anti-Semitic shit online. I'm like, whoa, that's quite pretty wild. People who have always supported it, it's like where there's a clear good... Who had it in their minds that there is a clear You know one is a hundred percent good one is a hundred percent bad these people are like

Dude, they're killing a lot of fucking like is that that's a little much isn't it like just yeah have anything to do with Like I mean did you have to laugh? Did you have to write a song about it? You have to dance on their graves It's well, it's the whole yeah, it's like, you know... You have to salt the earth? So that nothing would ever grow again? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't know, man.

Flanders a fucking flower bed, right? You guys are starting to feel a little too American for Americans. You used to be fun Jewish crusaders on the other side of the world, but now Americans are thinking, huh, you guys are a little too much like us. We don't like that. We don't like our kind around here. You know what I mean? Familiarity with it, like, huh, that seems an awful lot, awful chuddy of you.

Familiarity breeds contempt, right? Yeah, it seems like you guys are just kind of chuds doing shit over there. Hmm. I don't like that very much Time is on our side Time's on no one side this time they lost. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep I don't need to prove this international support for the Zionist entity is an all-time low Yeah, I mean you guys people weren't so

Happy about air fat either it's tough to forget a child describing in vivid detail how his pregnant mother was shot in the belly in front of him. No it isn't. Watch. Poof. Nothing. Gotcha. Pow.

The only thing that stood in the way of complete victory is the US backing. The second that falls away, you can be sure that Israel will be a footnote in history. Yeah, but it will never fall away. Right. Never. You might have to stop, you might have to put the third temple stuff on hold, but it's never gonna, the US will never stop backing Israel.

The Zionists can go back where they came from, but they came from where they are now. Like they're not going anywhere. No, they've been fighting over this land for fucking thousands and thousands of years. Uh, the Zionists can go back over there and Palestine can return to their... Palestinians can return to their homes. Man, I agree, but I don't think it's gonna happen. I don't think it's gonna happen.

Long live the resistance. Hammy Ham. Uh... okay. Long live the resistance, hammy ham. Uh, okay. I wish- The key to this mystery, however, is one that certainly takes- Whoops, whoops, whoops. I don't think the US would ever stop. There's too much money in it. Yeah, I don't-

We got a contract for the Iron Dome. They have to buy missiles from us. Yeah. Only our missiles. Only our missiles will fit. We built the Iron Dome so that only we can make the missiles for it. Sure, there you go it with an iPhone charger. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't. That's how it's done. You're saying that's gonna terminate? I don't think so. Yeah. Not gonna happen. Um, okay, but thank you for the email. Sorry for all the things that happened to you. I didn't do it. Neither did that guy.

Yeah. But someone he knows might have. Possibly. Someone I know might have. Possibly. Someone I know might have. Sure. Joseph says, breaking news, women are jealous of other women. Oh. Of other women, even in professional sports.

I would love to see your opinion alert. You had me at professional sports. It's hard not to feel bad for both sides. Yeah. Because they were just born there and it sucks. They're just fucking people who are just trying to go through life like everybody else. Maybe raise their families safely, just have a couple nice things, not have fucking the daily stress of being fucking killed.

Blombed and stuff. Yeah, but then you gotta think about your own life, then, you know, like I have my own worst problems. Like, waiting 40 minutes to use the bathroom and stuff like that. I had to buy new sandals. My sandals finally gave out. I think these sandals that I buy will probably be the ones I die in. I don't plan on buying another set of sandals.

I got the double ply ones. So they should last a good five or six years. At least five years, yeah. Okay. You know, he died with his sandals on. Bury me with my shoes. Okay, Hall of Famer. Lynette Woodard. Well, women's Hall of Famer, Lynette Woodard.

Yeah. Well, women's Hall of Famer. Okay. Says her all-time scoring record has not been broken by Caitlin. Is this a... They changed the rules or something or like, you know. Who is Lynette Woodard? This has got to be WNBA or something. Basketball. Women's college basketball. Okay. Okay. So her scoring record got beat. Oh, Caitlin Clark. Is Caitlin Clark a white girl? Let's see. Kaitlyn Clark.

No, she's a nice white girl. Nice looking white girl. Oh, man. Did the previous scorer, score holder, say her record is not broken? Well, let's see why. Oh, man. All right. is not broken well let's see why this oh man all right I am the hidden figure like that movie that the lies my record was hidden from everyone for 43 years. 43 years. I don't think, I'll just go ahead and get the author out of the room.

I don't think my record has been broken because you can't duplicate what you're not duplicating. And so unless you come with a men's basketball and a two-point shot, you know. Okay, whatever. So it's like, you know, there used to not be a shot clock and a three-point line in the NBA. Like, and this too. So like, she's saying she played under different rules. So there's only fucking... Oh, I see. So she set the record for most ungrateful cunt. With the least amount of, right? She's saying it's a different...

And passing the torch. Way to... Anything you can do to undercut a young person's accomplishments, right? Anything. And boomers. At any point, if you can do anything to undercut somebody who's younger than you and fuck them over, no matter how, like physically or emotionally.

Michael Phelps broke all of Mark Spitz Olympic records and stuff, and you could tell all the Spitz interviews, like, they do some real passive aggressive shit. Like- What the fuck is wrong with athletes? You know, It could be 80 years old. Well, in my day-

Right. Everything was harder. Everything was like- If I had carbon rackets, I'd go, shut the fuck up. In my day, Wayne Gretzky, Wayne Gretzky would have scored 300 points a season in your fucking day. You would have pulled your pants down

and spanked your bare ass in front of- Give me a fucking day pulled your pants down. Yeah, thank your bare ass and give me a fucking break million people Athletes are a mental illness Yeah, yeah, you're a fucking whatever so uh go back to hiding Okay, let's see Well, whatever. Thanks a lot. Go back to hiding. Okay. Let's see. Kind of out of order here. Biggest problem. ESG, hey Dick. Don't say my name, email, or email on the show.

You can call me Dick Throat. I'm an info sec- Jesus. Dick Throat. Dick Throat. I'm an info section. Jesus. Dick Throat. Dick Throat. That's the new whore we got coming out. The new deep throat. The Daily Wire. We're gonna, it's like, they interview every ex whore. Dick Throat.

So you can jack off, think about what a great wife she would make. Is that an ice arm spinoff? Yeah. She's not taking the fake tits out, right? She's gonna keep some of them, just so you know she's reformed. Gotcha.

Makes the trad better. Okay. I mean, being a whore. I'm in InfoSec for a global consumer professional products company, which I will not name, but it's roughly on par with something like Anheuser-Busch, but not a tech company. Okay. Not a tech, but it's roughly on par with something like Anheuser-Busch, not a tech company.

Not a tech company. It's a beer company? Something with a distribution? Food-ish food product? I don't know. Maybe like Tyson or Kraft or something? I, okay, sure. Big one.

Something like that. Anheuser-Busch is huge. Yeah, of course. Something that big. With my position, I'm involved in almost all major tech projects for the company. In the process of making major changes to our back end, I was involved in planning meetings for supplier processes.

During one meeting, I saw in their process chart, something related to ESG, long story short, in their decisioning process for selecting raw material suppliers, they have an interesting little path. short in their decisioning process for selecting raw material suppliers they have an interesting little path if we spend more than X amount on a supplier which by the process flow would include nearly every supplier okay so every supplier they use to fulfill right to do the distribution they spend more than a set amount yeah if we're spending more with this supplier

for raw materials, for getting more raw materials from, it would help to know what he does, but you know, they're buying wheat or something. Whatever, yeah, okay. If we're spending more than X on a supplier, there's a question. Is your company, is the supplier company certified as a diverse supplier owned company.

Wow. Yeah. Do you have a certificate for your blackness? Look, we don't go by a skin teller, but if you have a certification for being a minority... They need a paper trail. Yeah. We need to cover our ass. To make sure that the lawyers... Yeah, right. It is. It's a fucking CYA thing. How are you supposed to compete with this level of insanity? Well that's what it-

Absurdity! You can't teach this! No, it's absurd. You can teach a 20 year old kid you work hard, you make money, you can get yourself a nice whore, and get a house. You cannot teach a kid this level of absurdism. It can't be taught. It can only be experienced. It's just- It's like- By disappointment!

You're hamstringing yourself. Yeah! Like all these guys, yeah. You're coming out of school learning about hard work and shit? You're not learning about getting a certificate for your diversity? It's really wild. Oh! Um...

Wow! He sent a picture too. What a coincidence. It just so happens to be the most efficient way to do it too. I'm sure somebody cast ask paperwork on that. Mark Cuban is arguing with people about DEI shit like all day. Yeah. Because he's like a billionaire.

So billionaires only understand like exploiting the rules exactly as they are. Yeah. So they can't have no conception over like the effects of the rules. Like, well, if you did this, what would it do? Like, well, it would destroy the world and that would be fine because I would profit yeah you skipped a step there but yeah long story short is is the supplier certified as a diverse supplier owned if yes then they must include the diversity classification spending amount contact info

certification number you can get certified as being a minority I guess yeah we get certified well I stopped getting banned if I get certified as being a minority? I guess. Should we get certified? Will I stop getting banned if I get certified as being a minority? You will get banned less, maybe. Less? I don't know. You're playing the, if you want to play the identity politics of it. Yeah. Yeah, I know you do.

I need one of these certs. Yeah. Uh, who gives them out? Microsoft? I don't know. Obama? I don't know. Israel, probably.

I've been pretty pro-Israel. Yeah, you better want to do some internet cleanup before you go. I don't think pretty pro-Israel is enough now that I say it out loud. That's anti-Semitic, I just realized. Contact info, certification number, and predominant ownership of the company. If they're not diversely owned, they're kicked into a less desirable path. Basically, if the company we do business with is diverse, we're discouraged, is diverse,

we're discouraged from using them. Wait, basically, if the company we do business with is diverse, we're discouraged from using them in less absolutely necessary way. Wait, wait, wait, so they're, it's going the opposite way? Huh. If, no, no, I think he made a typo.

If they're not diversely owned, they're kicked into a less desirable path. That's saying- He's saying that, so if you're not diverse, we put you- Let me just look at this graph. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He fucked up the- Yeah, yeah.

This is all about achieving that positive investment score put out by those investment firms, yeah. Yeah, so they're supposed to use more diverse, they're penalizing the non-diverse suppliers by not using them as much. That's what he's trying to say. Look at this flow chart. Yeah, I've seen this.

This is in there, you've seen this picture? Yeah, basically the same thing. Oh, the same thing, yeah. I can't say much else about the ESG stuff as it pertains to my company, but I can say the discussion is included in almost every one of our major decision-making processes. I've been to several tech sales pitches that include ESG positive selling points, including companies like Salesforce and ServiceNow.

Two... Here we go. The process flow discussion was last year before anyone complains that I took a picture with my phone because I'm not about to take a screenshot and email it to myself from a work lab. Yeah, I'm not gonna even show the picture because I'm worried someone could identify where you're from. Based on the type of teal. Yes, but right. It is in the background. Answer the question. So you're coming in. No answer question. Is your company certified as a diverse supplier owned? Parentheses required. You got to answer that. Yes or no. Diverse supplier owned. They didn't even make the flow chart correct. No, yeah. Diverse Uh-huh. Parentheses required. Required. You gotta answer that. Yes or no?

Uh, diverse supplier owned? They didn't even make the flowchart correct. No, I, yeah. Uh, diverse supplier owned? Yes. Diversity required. Select diversity classification, track diversity spending, diversity contact, certification number, predominant number.

What a, what a retarded, they got too much money. These companies. They're fucking around. Stupid shit. That's not just shipping widgets or whatever. Okay. Penis Plus says, hey Dick, I need some advice. I have a crush on a coworker. I hope you're well.

I'm in need of some of your wisdom. Please, as pathetic as this sounds, I'm a gay man dealing with his first crush on a coworker and I'm going insane. Oh wow, insane. Man, that's gotta be, that's gotta be hard. Being gay? Because just statistically, most men at your work are not gonna be gay.

Yeah. That would suck. Yeah, but most women don't wanna fuck you. So, well, I mean, not you, but most guys. You could say that with everybody. You could say me. So it's kind of the same, right? I guess.

I just think that would just be another. Yeah. Although, well, yeah, I mean. Is the rate of gay men the same as the women that wanna fuck you? If there are other gay men in your office, I would think your chances of fucking are a lot higher. A lot higher.

Yes. Because they're both men. Yeah, and because when you're gay, you can, like, just do gay shit all the time. Like, you go to gay-themed stuff, and there's tons of gay guys. Yeah, and how do I know he doesn't work in, a gay, you know, he could work for like a gay publication or something, you know.

And they're doing shit you want to do anyway. Yeah. Just hanging out and drinking, doing drugs. But to me, women, you got to do just shit that no man has ever wanted to do. Yeah. Like go to a museum or like do a co-ed something crap, to a fit go to a poetry reading and shit So, you know, there's pluses or minuses As pathetic as it sounds I'm a gay man dealing with his first crush on a co-worker and I'm going insane

I used to look down on straight guys who'd simp for retarded women with boobs, but I have been humbled who'd simp for retarded women with boobs, but I have been humbled. There's a straight guy I work with who looks like a viking with a crossfit addiction and has a wholesome supportive personality that turns me into mush. Wow, she's a straight guy. Straight guy, yeah. You want to turn him gay? Is that where this is going? Like all gay men, I'm emotionally stunted and probably have slight brain damage from drug use and poppers. So when I have a crush, I turn into a hormonal teenager.

Heart racing, happy to bend over backwards to impress him, hoping he praises me, but also hoping he doesn't, because that makes me nervous. I don't know how to react when he does, and I come off as severely Autistic Thankfully the job is remote. Otherwise, I'd reflexively fall to my knees. Oh Jesus every time he walks by Wow, that's But I'm frequently in meetings with him and we interact on an almost daily basis.

I have zero expectations of the relationship becoming more than platonic, but that won't stop my brain from over analyzing every interaction I have with him and it's driving me crazy. How do straight guys keep this shit in check? Oh, how do you straight guys keep this shit in check? Thanks and smooch to Sean. Whew, that's a good question. How do you straight guys keep this shit in check? Thanks and smooch to Sean. Whew, that's a good question. How do we? Well, women, straight guys have one advantage

because women are always saying stupid shit that turns you off, almost always. That's hilarious. You can look at them. If you have a crush on one at work, and you're like, oh yeah, awesome. But then you get her alone and you talk to her in a group setting, and you're like, oh yeah, awesome. But then you get her alone and you talk to her in a group setting, you're like, oh God, you think that?

Like they'll say something totally preposterous. And then you find yourself having to talk yourself into still being attracted to them. That's the problem. As opposed to this guy who's like really good looking and like really smart and together and like a company leader probably, right? So he's like, oh damn it, I like him more.

Never cried at work. I like him more. His ex is probably not like some weirdo bikers, something like that. Oh man. He's not having a birthday week that he's telling you about. He's not, you know.

Yeah, that's tough. I don't know, I'm trying to imagine if a woman just said, or didn't speak at all, said normal stuff, how hard it would be to get her out of your mind. Boy, I don't know. I mean, I don't know how you deal with that. See, you guys went, you gay guys, you took the, you shouldn't have appropriated marriage

from us. That's what fucked you over. Cause we always had that as a way to like, to terrify us out of what you're talking about. Right? Yeah. Kyle, you got a big crush on this girl. How would you like to give her half your shit? Whoa. No, I would not.

I guess just think about that, right? Yeah, I mean, I just, I mean, it's, he knows he's a straight guy, so he, I mean, he can't, He probably makes it even more desirable. Yeah, well, I mean, no, maybe, but he can't reasonably think that this is going anywhere further than how it is right now. But it might. I know a lot of straight guys who've fucked up. I mean, there's a chance, but I mean've fucked up. I mean there's a chance. But I mean, I don't know about a pretty good chance. I'm telling if this guy's listening I'm saying it's a pretty good chance. You say just the right thing, you

know, just the right amount of liquor. This is exactly. The wrong bad day. Deep down this is exactly what he wants to hear. Yes, I know, but it's true. And I'm saying don't listen It's true. He could there could be some like, you know set of Circumstances that propels your penises together or whatever writing but however you do it Maybe send him some Don Lemon some of Don Lemon's wedding photos. Look at this beautiful Couple show me your Dave Rubin's Bichon. Yeah, show him your this beautiful couple. Show them your Bichon. Yeah, show them your Bichon. Send them a Bichon.

It's not a euphemism. I mean, actually get a dog. You should go for it. What are you talking? What do you mean get him out of your mind? You gotta go for it. He'll be flattered. Straight guys, they love the most,

the best thing in life is a gay guy hitting on them. I've seen straight guys light up like the fucking 4th of July every fucking time. Yeah. Oh Me. Yeah, I'm not gay but oh my I'm so flattered but kudos to you I'm so supportive of the gay community. No, you don't have to go that far No, you should be flattered. They are. Women are like, uh, creep. I'm flattered. It's happened to me. I go, hey, not bad.

I'm telling you. Because they're usually together, professional people. It's like, oh, okay, yeah. Huh. Women go, I don't trust your judgment. Because women are only complimenting you to get sh- I mean they never- Either cause they fucked something up. So they're buttering you up.

They fucked something up so- That's hilarious. But you can't, I mean you can't lose. Yeah, right? Like have you ever seen a fat girl try to like fuck a guy? They're just shamelessly pouring themselves all over him and guys are like, oh, okay, you know, alright, calm down. A straight guy will fuck a fat girl just to get her away from him. Like an octopus shooting out ink. Ink, yeah. I didn't even want to fuck her, but she just, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. You know? You have a chance. If you say there's a chance, by God, hell yes, Mr. President, there's a, yeah, there's a chance.

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck him. Try it. Good Dr. Strangelove reference there. Subtle. Subtle. Is there a chance? Hell yes, Mr. President.

Oh, I mean, yes. Yeah. There's a chance. All right. Good luck. Let us know how it works out. I think I got another one of these. All right. Good luck. Let us know how it works out. I think I got another one of these. Woman alert.

Woman alert. Woman alert. Did I tell anyone to call in this week? If I told you to call in, say something in the general. God, the fog machine was so funny. Really? It was on for like five minutes and filled up the whole fucking room?

Yeah, cause Vito stole the remote from me. And then I couldn't, I couldn't see, right, I couldn't find where the button to turn it off was. Yeah. Just kept filling up. Oh, yeah, woman alert. Uh, okay. Lan sent this one in. Oh wow, okay. This might be actually a fat watch, I don't know. This looks to be, they put Butterbean in a wig. Knocking yourself out is a tough look.

This is Women's MMA. They have, this is the Empire sent a big behemoth Death Star that they wrapped a unitard around. It does look like Butterbean. Yeah, she's gigantic. And there's a tiny Korean woman, the rebels on this side, right? Is that about right?

I guess. And they're gonna square off in the octagon. They're gonna round off in the octagon. They made the octagon a little bigger for this one. Yeah, yeah. This is in regulation size. It's the pentagon, I think. Okay, let's see.

Oh man, Sean, this is a bruiser. What would you do if you had to fight a woman of this size? God, I would love that. I would get in the ring to fight a woman Yeah, big fat one like that even in my state in my crippled state, right? I got one burst left in me Just fucking stop their need backwards Just snaps like a turns into like a bird leg. I'd walk out and kick right in the pussy yeah all right oh dude she's big oh my god she's so fat she looks like she has like a Down syndrome she's really big multiple she's walking with her arms down yeah well I guess what's the point of protecting them

anything at that size the anything at that size oh man okay so she's going in for a bull rush charge right here and the little girl she knocked it yeah she knocked herself out and I went right into the fence. She tripped, charging her, and then knocked her face into the fence and is now still down hours later. Being nursed by her opponent. Is that a little oxygen thing?

Oh no, it's water bottles. Oh, she's allergic to water probably. She's like, what is this that you're pouring on me? And he's wetting her down like Shamu right right yeah whale yeah Wow, that's okay. I mean that thing so that fight was like Seconds like Mmm-hmm Jesus we've all felt like that before why do they? Why do they do that? I don't know.

They should have an all-InfiniFat Fighting League. I'd watch it. Well because there'd be at least one death per card. Every card. Okay, this is from PDF Carbine. Home security measures. Alrighty. Let's see what women are up to.

Woman alert. This is, uh, woman alert. Be safe when you're home alone. Oh, gotcha. And take, women take all the necessary precautions, safety precautions. Oh, this is shit that this woman does to be safe at home. Like man's shoes outside. She puts large sized men's shoes, decoy shoes.

Right, it looks like there's a big dude in the house. But those are fucking like, are those Birkenstocks? There's a big lesbian in this. Yeah, exactly, that's not the right... You gotta put something, you gotta put like some fucking like motorcycle boots. Like fucking Wolverine like work boots or some shit. Exactly, that's not the right... You gotta put something, you gotta put like some fucking like... Motorcycle boots. Like fucking Wolverine like work boots or some shit, you know?

With a Confederate flag on the back, right? Exactly. Exactly. Who the fuck, are a lot of guys taking their shoes off outside so bugs could get in them? This guy's a fucking huge ass with fucking, owns a bunch of guns. This guy writes poetry on his 30s style typewriter. This is Mr. Fam's reason from Beavis and Butt-Head. Like actually Beavis, he didn't. Why does she have giant Birkenstocks? I don't know. Did she get them for the security? That's what I mean. It's the wrong shoe. Yeah. Okay. Lock the front door. Oh, wow.

Okay. That's what they haven't been doing. Got it. They finally figured out what something does. I like this eerie piano. Yeah. Use a portable door lock. What?

What the? What? It's like a device that you wedge in your door. So it just jams it against, if it... What? Oh, they make the... Oh. What the... What? It's like a device that you wedge in your door? So it just jams it against... So the Schlage ain't enough. You gotta put something else. The deadbolt's not enough?

You have to put some kind of goofy shit that costs $30 in there too? Install a door stop alarm? Oh my god. Wow, okay. In case you don't have an actual security system. Okay, so there's a thing that you put on the floor, that if the door opens, like home alone, it goes wah wah wah wah wah. Alright.

Make sure all the windows are closed. Lock the garage and the backyard. No, no shit. Lock the garage. And put one of those fucking, what a stupid, look at that fucking thing. We gotta watch the kosher light switch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna play it. I'll play it after the, after we do that one. Everybody's God is stupid. Everybody can, it's like, you can get around pre-marital sex, you can get around not working machines. You can get around It's like I got him got him on a technicality. He's so stupid It's amazing how God lines up with

Everything you wanted to yeah, whatever you want. I got to talk to this whore for three hours. Yeah, really? Yeah for God. Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Really? Yeah, for God. Yeah. Yep. Uh... Turn on the backyard lights. Okay. Make sure all the smart cameras in the house are working. Jesus Christ. Keep personal safety devices like whistles, pipes, panic buttons, or alarms readily accessible. What is a safety pipe? Like a lead pipe

Like a tire iron. Is it like a is it like a weed pipe or is it like a get the guy high? Whistles pipe personal safety devices like whistles You have a rape whistle like your own home use like a pi like a piper? That kind of pipe? Like a what? Like a pied piper? Yeah. Like a pied whistle? Is it an instrument? Yeah, exactly. You play that while you're getting raped? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You can have a little, like, derringer, you know? Yeah. ["Sleeping Beauty"] ["Sleeping Beauty"] Hahaha! Fuck off! This is fake!

That is what it- This is fucking fake! Uh, keep binoculars nearby to observe- No, if this is- This is- yeah, this is a bit much, yeah. ["Sleeping Beauty"] Go to sleep and make sure to keep a portable knife, safety alarm, and pepper spray.

["Sleeping Beauty"] I mean, I don't even know if it's a joke. make sure to keep a portable knife, safety alarm, and pepper spray. I mean, I don't even know if it's a joke. Cause they do some of that. I mean, it should be. It should be a joke. Yeah. All right. It's fucking crazy. Good luck with that, women.

I can't stay out past seven o'clock. I have to go through my lockdown routine. Yeah, before I, I gotta be asleep by 10.30, so... Bratwurst and... Oh, Bratwurst. Uh-oh. This is approaching on Fatwatch. Yeah.

So... Fatwatch, today in fat news. Should've just paid the toll, they say. I've seen this, yeah. Turnstile jumping used to be a big problem, you know, that Giuliani cracked down on. Yeah. To get criminals, right? Yeah, they've seen this. Yeah turnstile jumping used to be a big problem. Yeah, Giuliani cracked down on yeah to get criminals, right? Yeah, the damnedest thing that turnstile jumping at the subway in New York stopped Yeah, and they thought it was because of cracked on crime, but actually it's because women just got too fat to jump over the turnstile

Here we go. Yeah, here's a brave Aspiring attorney Olympian Olympian trying to vault over the turnstile. Oh god. The first attempt is not, it's a fault. We're going to do over, there's a woman in a, I don't know, is that a hijab? Yeah. Now who's filming this? Like is there a camera that they had access to? I don't know, because it's not shaking around. Yeah, I know. It's weird. Do they have a camera right on the turnstiles in New York so they can catch this shit? I don't know. I haven't been there in a long time.

We should do a show there. That'd be fun. Okay, so her first attempt, she was not strong enough to lift her fat ass. I mean, not even close close not even close. She's Almost collapsed. She's so big. She has to turn sideways a little bit to get through the turnstile thing She's taking another approach she's trying to step over like Andre the giant over the top rope the top rope. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh.

She's going down. Yeah. There was only one way that was going to go. There's no way she was going to be able to lift her other leg over. He's impotently grabbing at the stainless steel sides of the trough that they send people through. Yeah. Oh, she's down.

She's down. Is she crying? She's crying for help. Uh. Are she laughing? Laughing. She's down. Now she's down. Is she crying? She's crying for help. Uh... Or she's laughing. Laughing. She's laughing. She's down. Wow.

Oof. See, she's like, fuck herself up. Another shot. Alright. Oh dear God. Three bucks. How much does that cost? Three dollars? I don't know, yeah.

Yeah, that's. Good for you. Okay. Good times. Thomas says, hey Dick, listen to this broads dating advice. Okay. Let's hear it. Women have, women have the

probably the worst advice for dating. Oh. Especially this one, she's got huge tits and she's wearing a see-through top. Uh-huh. Sure she could give good advice on something but it won't be dating. No one has ever said no to her ever. When approaching a girl at a bar or a club all you're going to do is walk up to her and say this. Hi, I don't think we've met yet. She'll likely- Oh, great advice! Okay. Just walk up to a girl and say, hi, I don't think we've met yet.

Yeah. And she was, she's probably going to say, ew. Just like that. Yeah. Ew. Or no, we haven't. And then walk away. But not according to this, whatever this is. They're turning this, this face and hair out of some kind of factory of, I don't know where. This face and hair. Yeah, this face and hair, I think Sephora cranks them out in the back. Got it. No, I don't think we have.

And that's when you introduce yourself and ask her name. Then you can ask her how her night's going, who she's with, or where she's from. Don't know where. Where are you from? Yeah. What incredible advice. Women will eat that up. This is a sure. And then start screaming, tell me where you live. Yeah. What incredible advice. Women will eat that up.

This is a sure... And then start screaming, tell me where you live. Tell me where you live. Right. Just tell me where you live. Who are you here with? Just questions that women have to answer 5,000 times every night. Just start the conversation.

That's not a fucking conversation! Yeah, right. Who are you here with? Yeah. My friends. Right. Who are you here with? Yeah. My friends. Right. Where are you from? I live here.

Yeah, I know, I know. You could be stonewalled at every... Way to go! Amazing! I'm just gonna go back over here. I'm gonna go back over to my friends, I guess. Right. Who are fucking laughing.

At you. Yeah, right. Yeah. That's not how you start a conversation. You gotta start it with some kind of some kind of tease Mm-hmm. Is that how movie trailers work? Mm-hmm Who are you there this summer? Who are you here with? Mm-hmm Where do you live?

Come see the Matrix 4 Okay, we'll do it. See how it works out. Okay. Roger. Oh yeah, I already played that one. Royce says, hey, Dick, you have to cover plus sized park hoppers for Fat Watch. Watching them realize they're too fat for rides is art.

I think we might've watched these guys. I mean, we've seen some of them. Yeah. But there's a whole group of them. Have you been to? The plus size park hoppers. They do Disneyland and they eat and then they try to get on rides and they're too fat.

I know. At Disney World, several rides have just off to the side, the vehicle that you go in. They have to do that everywhere now. Yeah, so it's like, okay, if you can fit, it's like a, you know, just a model of, or it's an extra, you know, pod or whatever. It's like, can you fit in this thing?

Or if not, you know, you can, you know, now you can get out of the line. And that's the ride for them. They've gotten, like, now they just go pretend to get on rides and say we're too fat, and then they go back to eat at the, at whatever, the rainforest cafe. Yeah.

Trying to ride the Velocicoaster at Universal's Islands of Adventure, but you weren't sure if you'd fit. Hey everyone, we're plus size park hoppers. We range in sizes from 2X to 5X. Make sure you like this video and follow us for more plus size tips and tricks. The Velocicoaster is a thrilling Jurassic World themed roller coaster located in Universal. But we wouldn't know. Give me the dinosaurs, please. How about a movie where they clone fat women in the future.

Aliens. We've got Amber from these, a fat woman stepped on a mosquito. Oh yeah, right. And we took blood from that. Gordo DNA Macroscopic macroscopic imperfection So silence of adventure as if dinosaurs aren't scared they're like You know that dinosaur sound That'd be good oh god

That's a good comedy. How come the Daily Wire doesn't do comedy like that? They're just doing trans shit because they're afraid to attack women All of this trans shit is a compulsion to simp for women all of it. Okay, milady I'm here to defend your sports and basketball right these these guys shall not harm you milady. Mm-hmm You look particularly rotund today, m'lady, right? Rotund. All of it is. All of it is just simpery. It's fucking bullshit.

Very enough. This ride goes very fast and upside down. There are discrete test seats located at the entrance of this ride. Discrete test seats. Yeah. They should put them on a dais and sell tomatoes. You can throw with them. We highly recommend trying the test seat before waiting in line. The seat is molded and there is a divider between the legs. The safety mechanism for this is an over the head

lap bar. My name is Stephanie and I am wearing the purple... Should it take you five minutes to sit in a roller coaster? No. Should you have to shift your weight 40 times? No. Back and forth? I mean, this, I do kind of, it's coming from a place where like, they're helping out fat people. Like, you know, I mean, like, this is useful to some people. It's just sad that society has gotten to this point where like, we have to, yeah.

Yeah. Put this fucking everywhere. Yeah, it is. Blue shirt. I'm a size 2X and wear size 20 pants. What?! You're a size 2X?! Well, that's, I'm sure that-

And they went up to 5?! That's changed. She's- Yeah, but that probably used to be like a 4X and now they just, they keep changing the size. You're telling me there's a 3, 4, and a 5 bigger than this?! Ohhhh. 44F bra.

I was not able to get the green light at first, but Katie gave me a push and I was able to get it to turn green Oh, I do think that I could have written this rock. You're telling me that the dad is like just gonna pass out It's like it's like she's wearing a ride as a corset You know like turns fucking green like a microwave if you get it you have Green means go it's like she's literally like That's that cannot be comfortable. No, what is the thrill? The thrill is getting the fucking green light

and your fat friends don't get it. Yeah it's like, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out! It's like, remember like the coming of, like the Sandlot, like coming of age stories where kids, and even when we were kids, like I remember not being able to go on a roller coaster Because I was too sure it was too short like just a little bit

You know stretching it up there, but you kind of open like oh, I hope I don't get on cuz it's so scary right yeah Yeah, but then we have the same thing you just do goddamn fact hmm. You have to suck it in right yeah, uh I'd if the employee was willing to push down the bar for me the ride was broken down this day which I am very grateful for because that looked really scary and I did not want to try Katie is wearing the why did the ride break oh was it the blue attire I don't know some fat woman got just took breathed on the springs all shot off. Blue skirt and wears a size 3X top and 22 pants. Her bra is a 46 double D and her hips are 65 inches. Why would we want to know how big her bra is?

I don't ever want to hear that. This has got to be the worst ring announcer for the WWE I've ever heard. When our day it was 24 inch pythons and yeah, you know, this is 65 inch Double D at a size damn you did not win As you might guess this seat was not very comfortable for us, especially because of the size of our thighs Unfortunately, Katie was not able to get the green light on this ride even after I pushed down on the lap bar The lap bar is also molded for your legs so that might be uncomfortable

Oh my god, they got yeah, I mean this grease her up a little bit You should bring some Pam spray it on the machine. Yeah, you know They got her putting her entire weight on the bar to get it down. No Yeah, stand on it I guess not gonna they're gonna make it well if you have bigger thighs We hope that these tips help you have a It should have like the light should be a little bit more. They should have more You know more of a theme Yeah, right like if you don't get it shows like it just make a horrible noise

Or a big fat Tyrannosaurus on its back. Oh! Okay cool. Thanks Royce. Wow. Ada Wolf says, hey here's the queer fat club. What do you think? Okay.

Let's see. Sounds pretty cool. If you want to be a part of the queerer Fat Club, you really have to be fat. It's a requirement. Is it like Fight Club, but it's Queer Fat Club? The first rule of Queer Fat Club? This is a Queer Fat Club. I'm queer and fat.

Okay. Thank you for joining. Wait, what? It's a Zoom call with queer fat people? Yeah, I don't know that he fits the description. I don't think he's allowed to be in here. He's too skinny. Look at this guy. He's like a twig. This woman doesn't even start sloping down in the frame.

She gets like a 20 degree slope here. I think he's probably going to get removed from the call. You think they're going gonna kick him out? I do. They're gonna bounce him out of there? Right, yeah. This woman's filming in vertical mode to hide, I guess.

Man, you know what fat women have started to do? What? I noticed this yesterday. I forgot about this in my talking about the flea market beer crawl thing. This is the new, watch out for this, everyone. This is a public service announcement. Fat women, this is the style that they're doing, they wear big shirts, like a men's

shirt, like a jersey type of shirt, you know, with buttons on it, like wearing your dad's shirt kind of look. It's not their dad's shirt, but that's the style. They wear that, and then they've got big, poofy pants that they pull up to their tits, basically. And then they have like a tube top on under that. So basically all you can see is their cleavage. And everything else is obscured. So it's like a wall of like that Kanye music video. It's like a wall of fabric walking at you with just a crop of their tits, of the middle of their tits right under their neck.

Wow. It's very bizarre, but it's very tricky. Like they've managed to figure out how to hide everything. I saw it a lot. Thank you. What do you think of the queer fat club? You love it. Okay. I'm queer and fat. Okay, thank you for joining. We're just introducing ourselves at the moment.

Okay. Do you want to go ahead and introduce yourself, Joe? Yeah, my name is Joe. I go by He-Ve and I identify as 275 pounds. Okay. Okay. I feel like Jay's kind of making fun of me though. I go by he day and identifies 275 pounds Feel like Jays kind of making fun of me though. I know it's kind of a shock. I know kind of a new thing I'm What I said, I apologize. I know you're good. Are you comfortable leaving the group at the moment? Why why I'm not understanding Why you're joining the group. This is the queer and fat group now. Yeah, yeah. That's why I came here for.

Okay. And you said you identify as fat? Yeah. Okay. This is just for fat-bodied people. Yeah, I understand. I identify as a fat-bodied person. I'm not understanding where you're coming from. Are you guys comfortable with me here? I mean, I'm pretty chill. I'm not comfortable. I mean, this is- I'm not comfortable, no. This is very funny because he's just, he's doing what is done in other areas.

I mean, it's right, yeah, it's like, do you see how insane this is? No, they don't. Yeah, I mean, it's funny. They're trying to talk him out of it. It's funny. Good job, Joe. Let's see. It's funny. Uh Good job, Joe Let's see she's paid rhinestone cowboy says fitness help that's

Then that's all I got here. Oh, no Fitness help is the name of this what? that's No, it's helper for weight loss Okay for weight loss. Okay. Anna, hurry up! What? I'm ready. Oh my God.

I can't I still can't believe how different I look. What? What are you talking about? How different? Double tap, turn on the post notifications to change more lives. Click the link in fitness help to get started on your journey to change yourself. Change yourself to what? A fatter woman? Uh, lose fat, fat loss program. Are you serious?

What is this? Is this a bit? What is this? It's okay to be bigger than your partner? Is this a joke, Sype? Oh no, okay, these girls are losing weight. Okay. Um... Yeah, okay. So it is a positive...

Maybe they're making fun of that woman. I don't know. Why was... Odd. I'm very confused. Why was that there? I mean, it's just, look at this. How come conservatives are so upset about abortion, but not, you know, look at this person,

this beautiful woman that's been extracted from this disaster. This is the problem, this. This is the problem? Well, no, no, no, no, no. This is the solution to what. This is the problem? Well, no, no, no, no. This is the solution to what the problem is. This is what's happening. This is the biggest problem that we're facing.

We're not dealing with it. It's not Instagram horrors or whatever. It's worse even than the money stuff. Look at this transformation. It's great. I can't believe it. It's great. Did the money stuff. I mean look at this transformation. It's great. Can't believe it's great. Did I have anything else? It's a dick show. Patreon.com slash dick show. Let me check the chat. Anybody? Anybody, anybody, anybody? No, okay. Patreon.com slash dick show. We'll see you next, see you next Tuesday or Monday even. Goodbye.

Forgot to give voice cast. I'm just winging it. Oh shit, now I do have something. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I cannot be monetized. What the fuck? Fuck you. I've got a little thing called Sean ruins a a Writing Session, Maddox Tell All, more Maddox Confessions. Okay. You want to know that? Let's do a voicemail first, then we'll get into it.

Sure. Okay. Hey, Dick, hey Sean, TDS Fox here. What makes me a rage is your dad not having your back. Whoa! The other day, and by that I mean yesterday, I'm pretty sure, we all made plans to go up to my pops place.

He's got a great lakeside cabin. That's where he lives, right on. And I texted my uncle, his brother, and I said, hey, Dickhead, can I get a ride? And he said, sure, can. And I said, sweet. And I started to party on my own at home. Great. You don't have to drive? party on my own at home great you know follow-up text by the way we can pick you

up but we can't guarantee if we can bring you home tonight we might be too drunk or some shit okay like a professional drunk driver what the hell and unfortunately I have a fucking dog and I don't have a stupid ass dog door and fence yet so I gotta try to worry about her shittin' in my house. How's that his problem? Right. Bring your dog. I call my dad, I let him know, hey what's up, Pop?

I might be late or shouldn't come, I don't know. You stupid brother, I'm gonna do what I want. I'm gonna bring you what you think, and I was really hoping. What do you think? To give you a clear, like, son, I'm proud of you. Keep drinkin' at home, keep havin' fun, you don't need to come here today. I said I got guilt-tripped into, oh, well, you gotta plan this shit out. What are you doing drinking already?

I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck do you mean? What am I doing drinking already? I got one, I got this shit from you and two, I got it for grandpa who has a sign that said I only drink in days and then them wine. What are you? Yeah, yeah. This is in our family. I thought we were all- So he wants people to drive him around. Anyway. Well, he can just do whatever he wants.

Drunk drove up to his place and had a good time and then drunk drove home. It all worked out. No, no, no. Your dad is right. You're being a woman. You're making other men drive you around and then your dog is their problem. There's no difference between you and someone's wife mm-hmm can you drive me up there oh I got to be back today because of my dog so I can't

drink and get fucked up and party and I have to be back for your dog right why don't you go fuck yourself and then you call your dad and ask him what you should do when you already know what the answer to that which is either drive drunk or don't go. He was right. He should have made fun of you harder. He didn't do a good enough job making fun of you before for you to have this kind of vulnerability. I'm glad you had fun. Sean Dick, Dick and Sean. What makes me a rage? The phrase you can't make this stuff up. Usually it follows something that can be totally made up. Yeah, that's true. Oh, Kamala Harris said something stupid.

You can't make that up. You can't make this up. Really? I've seen the Avengers, I've seen Star Wars, things that are far more amazing. Do people not have imagination? No, they don't. They can't imagine. I guess you can make not have imagination? That they can't imagine? No, they don't.

I guess you can make anything up. Yeah. You can't make this up. Can't make this up. No. You literally can make anything up. That's what making things up gives you the ability to do. You can't make this stuff up.

A politician lied. Wow. That's crazy. Can't make this stuff up. Dick, thank you for this solution. I use it all the time. That episode where you offered to pay Max when he went. If he sticks his fingers down his throat, he makes himself throw up. I just use that all the time now.

It's a good conversation, Fender. Oh, you want me to do that? Hmm. Sure, I'll do it. This is a funny video. Where is this guy? What fucking potato is he talking into? What the?

Hey. Hey. Yeah, send me that and I'll do it. I'll do it. This is crazy. This is worse than like a 1980s FBI wiretap on the mob. You see P. Diddy trying to pat Justin Bieber down? To see if he's wearing a wire?

Uh-uh. You've seen all this P. Diddy stuff? Yeah. He's like a big rapist or something? I mean, yeah. Trafficking people? Well, it was, we're talking about like underage and shit like that?

Yeah. He's like the Black Epstein. Yeah, he's like a... That's cool. good for him. Like Puff Step Daddy? Like Lady Diddler? Yeah, P. Diddler. P. Diddler?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think they're gonna kill him too? Fuck yeah. Wow, he didn't even have his own island. Yeah. He didn't even have all the weird, you know, like Masonic imagery and stuff.

He's just raping people. It's not as cool. You gotta have like weird, you gotta have weird yellow king stuff around if you're gonna do that amount of rapes. Got it. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that shit, but that's-

Cause then in their minds, people are like, oh wow, it's some kind of weird cult. They don't think about the rapes. Like the NXVIM thing, people are like, oh, it's like a weird religious cult. You know, it's just a bunch of rapes. Like, no, no, no, it's like a weird religious cult. You know, it's just a bunch of raves. Like, no, no, no, it's like a weird cult. Right, right. That was a part of it.

Raves were part of it. But the most important thing was a weird cult. Sure. That's where he fucked up. I can't stand hearing these people talk about the economy on the news. Because they always end up just saying, well, you know, just keep working hard. What the fuck are you saying? I saw they were talking about it for like 10 minutes. All the economy's fucked.

Oh, yeah. The government is just stealing. Yeah. Oh, and it's all just a complete bullshit game. Look, we can see. Hey, we can see what the rules are. We can predict the cycles like down to the year. And then in the end, he's like, well, I hate to say it was just, you know, work hard and take, why do you hate to say it? Cause you know, it's wrong.

Yeah. You fuck ass. Yeah. Work hard. Fix the problem. Yeah. Fix the bullshit. And the only way to do that is to vote for Joe Biden.

Vote for Joe Biden. Right. Sure. Yeah. It's fucked. Vito is talking about how like everything's fucked and all these liberals, they convinced a guy to kill himself, this comic guy. Oh yeah, well, did they convince him or did he flip out and...

Well, he was the guy... He got caught texting a 17-year-old girl, right? And they're like, and you got to blacklist him, get his money, get his contracts taken away. And they did, basically. I'm not going to say that killing himself was a bad idea. Well, how, uh, how, when this all broke, how long did it take for him to? Couple of days, I think.

Just a couple of days. Maybe. And his podcasting partner said, like, I'm not working with him anymore. It's like, wow, man, you killed that guy. Basically. Like, that's fucked. He's a guy didn't deal with. I mean, he felt like that was the answer.

So then Vito goes like, oh, they want us dead. They want us dead. I'm like, yeah, stop voting. Stop voting Democrat. Walt. And he's like, he says, well, Republicans want to cut taxes for the 1%. That's your problem with them? Stop participating in fucking canceling all that.

Stop voting at least. Just at least stop voting. You don't have to vote for Trump. Just stop voting. Yeah, but the Republicans are going gonna lower taxes for the 1%. Why the fuck would... What do you care about that? Because other people will have more of their money? You have a problem with that? Well, it's not doing anything for you.

I mean, like, it's not doing anything against you either, necessarily. Them having more money? Yeah, so it's like... Why do you care? Neither side is fixing your problem. They're trying to kill you! Them having more money? Yeah, so it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's the five hundred because they're old and my body is fucked. My brother starts lecturing me on how, oh, you can't you can't take that shit. Like it was banned by the FDA. And I said, dude, what the fuck makes you think the FDA has our best interest in

mind? He goes, dude, there's all this research that they're always doing. They they're just trying to make things safe. And I said, OK, fine. If I gave you a check for $10 million right fucking now, would you just turn the other way and say, fine, do whatever you want to do? And he said, honestly, yeah. And I said, good.

Now you know how the fucking FDA works. Check for $10 million? What is this? Turn a fucking blind eye. Check for $10 million? Hey, you know, only my product's safe. Fuck the FDA. And fucking banning the only shit with no side effects

that fucking works. So is it actually banned? Because, no, here's the thing. Most supplements, they say these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. So it's like they don't even... But they will ban stuff on occasion. Right, if it's like basically,

you know, was like FinFin banned by the FDA because it was like occasion. They, right, if it's like basically, you know, was like Fin Fin banned by the FDA because it was like a fed, right? It was giving people fucking heart attacks. It's a, but yeah, it's- Yeah, they banned it. Lack of clinical trials. Lack of clinical, so because they couldn't, how they get around it usually is that they call it

like a- Herbal? Or they call it like a, it's not a food item. It's like a, like the wording you can see, you can circumnavigate or circumvent the. Is it, is it worse than alcohol? Yeah, on some stuff. I don't know.

No. But it's like. Nothing is worse than alcohol. So they. Fentanyl maybe. So they literally don't have, nobody's, nobody's presented them any. Why does the FDA ban this thing thing the risk for immunogenicity

Peptide related impurities and limited safety related information that sounds like bullshit Yeah, I don't know if the answer isn't death then you're lying. I don't believe you Yeah, I mean like that. It's still available as an oral pill. Oh, okay Yeah, I mean like that. Oh, it's still available as an oral pill. Oh, okay. I don't Interested treat 17 peptide treatments. They banned that sounds that sounds shady amino acids and shit. Is that the I? Don't know this are they just banning shit to bodybuilders take I don't want guys to be weaker Man, you want to talk about fucking guys who those extreme bodybuilders those, they never make it to 50. Like how the fuck they drop fucking dead, yeah. Wild.

Because of all the steroids? All, yeah, there's, I mean, because it's so much more than just like anabolic steroids, like the HD, I mean, people are taking fucking crazy shit, man. Their fucking organs are turning into chalk. Yeah. It's wild.

Hi, Dick, this is Matt in Chicago. You know what makes me a rage? Is dead brain excuses. Like when I text someone and I want to go get a drink after work or something, then I don't hear from them, hear from them for three months, four months. Then they text me back saying, Oh, I didn't see your text. They didn't see it. Yeah. Like, motherfucker, I've seen you in person.

You don't miss text messages you can read them and forget about yeah you can ignore them but don't fucking treat me like a moron and tell me you didn't say you forgot or when I ask a friend hey let's play this game together it's whatever whatever part two oh yeah sorry man I can't I can't play with you it's uh it's part two I didn't I didn't play part one so. Can't possibly play part two Hearted toddler who doesn't know when people are completely full of shit. Just tell me you don't want to do it It's fucking fine. Why do they owe you that think you're treating me like an idiot? Yeah fuck off Yeah, go fuck yourself smooches for showing maybe you're just like a hothead, you know, right?

I don't answer that you asked too many things You got to take the hint Yeah, I'm gonna play this game if you happen to be wanting to play it later Maybe it's your your type of the way you're asking is something is fucked. Maybe perhaps Stop taking Sean. This was Rex Sexton. I've been chatting with my friend You know making sure he doesn't go to Greenland after he got accused of grabbing him by the pussy at work and his wife left him.

I'm a good friend. So I'd say it's like 80 to 20, 60, 40, he didn't do it. But I try to keep his spirits up, talk about things like our fantasy football league where I've won three titles in a row. Anyway, we're going back and forth and he says, are you working tomorrow? Like, what the fuck did you just ask me?

Are you vetting me? Are you auditing me? Are you trying to date me? I'm an adult, I work eight to six, Monday through Friday. Of course I fucking work tomorrow, it's Wednesday. That's an odd question. Did you want to go get our nails did? We'll work it tomorrow.

Did you want to go to a club where people will be on each other? Don't fucking disrespect me by asking another man. Alright, alright. You working tomorrow? Well yeah. What do you... Of course.

Maybe this guy isn't the best for suicide prevention. Is that what he's doing? Wasn't he just trying to keep his friend from killing himself or did I just sleep through two fucking voicemails? Yeah, he said that but he's probably bragging. He's probably not really. Yeah, it's probably not really Let's see, oh Wow

Edick the collateral damage with the crowd or situation is men specifically young men Young men especially like conservative Christian young men are brainwashed into the system where they believe that, but just from what the parents teach them that marriage will somehow unlock true happiness. And that's never the case. It leads to more misery. Oh man. And by rooting for Crowder to fail in the divorce, it's just feeding into that where, you know, men will continue to get tricked into getting married,

thinking they will unlock happiness, unlock a purpose. Wait, wait, rooting for counter to fail? What do you mean? Once they're stuck in the marriage, divorce is used as leverage to keep them in. Yeah. So, like, if they leave, they lose all their stuff, most of it. And a kid. Or they lose access to their kids.

And they have to deal with lawyers for the rest of their fucking life. So, even though they're miserable, Most of it and a kid or they lose access to their kids and they have to do the rest of their lives They're still locked into that system their best case scenario is being forced to go into couples therapy to pay Some guy thousands of dollars to explain to him and his wife why he's the problem and why he's a bad person. The whole system is rigged against young men. I know.

So I know, Crowder's awful. I wish him the worst. But yeah. But I don't want the divorce. Why? To end in his wife's favor because it's just another poster boy for like marriage in general of like encouraging women try to get married because you can win all their stuff so encouraging women no no no no no no no you understand you cannot encourage women to be more you can't encourage a black hole from consuming more it's it's a law of physics that they women cannot be women cannot be incentivized to take more than they have

They have they were they came into this world taking they leave this world taking they're not there's no way to incentivize them If you want it if you have it they want it. That's rule number the more Crowder loses and God I hope he does I hope him and all of these shitbag influencers who pretend to go to church and then just wallow in crapulence and gossip and spite. Like all these, you know, I'm basically at war with everyone now, right? And they're all church going guys who participate

in the routine slander of women who have nothing to do with them, which I do too, but I don't believe in God. I don't give a shit about it, right? I'm not, I don't go to church and go, Hey, everybody, check me out. I went to church. Look at me. Right. What do you think about Mr. Big Shot? Right? Check out these, my church suspenders. But it is, it's the whole system is, the whole system is designed to take energy from young men and siphon it into bullshit. Like wherever the daily wire wants to point people, wherever Crowder wants to point people,

take energy from young men who just want access to whores. They want to, everybody wants to, everybody wants to find everybody wants to get, find a woman and be happy. And they find a way to package this to and sell it to you. Like, well, here's the system of happiness that we have. And it's guaranteed to work.

You just have to believe in God, you go to church, you do all these things, you hate tattoos. Obviously hate whores all day, every day and talk about how much you hate whores all day every day and talk about how much you hate whores and then you'll definitely be happy. And then when you hit like 40, a significant amount of your friends are getting divorced who followed all the rules and it's a fucking nightmare. It is a living fucking nightmare.

And you have to start over from kind of worse than ground zero and try- Back to an apartment. And it's then you're happier than you've ever been. Cause you don't have to deal with her anymore. A woman that you entered into a stupid contract with willingly that you had no, that you never wanted to fail. And you had no conception of what life would be like

when it does fail. But it happens. And there's nothing anybody can teach you to figure out how to navigate it successfully other than don't fucking do it. And everybody who's telling you to do it has not done it, has not had it fall apart on them. Well, there's a lot of truth to that. It's crazy. These 20-year-old guys are like, like, well yeah divorce should be illegal.

It's like, oh man, you guys, when divorce comes for you, you will celebrate. You will love it. You'll be happier than you've been in years. Just people talking about things that they can't possibly have a clue about. Yeah. You don't know.

You don't know shit. I've hated it my whole life. I used to hate that when people would say that kind of stuff to male or young people. It's like, but you don't. Yeah. You don't know shit. I've hated it my whole life. I used to hate that when people would say that kind of stuff to male or young people. It's like, but you don't. Yeah. You don't know shit.

Yeah. I've always hated it because it's so stupid. You think you do, you think you do, but you don't. But seeing it. If you, if you don't get surprised every now and again in your life, well it's like, wow, I did not fucking see. Like you are a fucking moron a fucking moron because that means you can't think yeah don't do it okay

I'm a I am a red cunt hair into this week's show when I realized that you guys well you guys didn't take my joke somebody took my joke I know somebody took my joke Jesus coming out of the hole, seeing a shadow, six more weeks of winter. Sounds like it's been modified. I made that joke fucking years ago, and it spread around, and I know it did. Cool.

Anyway, I just- Are you retarded? I wanna be that guy, and- You are that guy. I'm glad Maddox told me to go in the direction to claim my memes so nobody else could steal it. Anyway, go fuck yourself. I assume you're joking, but there is so much of that guy.

Hey, you stole my joke. You said something crossed the road. I'd said that. Right. You said it about Kanye. Right. Yeah, okay. Thanks, man.

It is like Maddox. Yeah, let's get it. Long time ago, like. Yeah, thanks man It is like Maddox. Yeah, it's a long time ago like last year I won a few dates with this environmental lawyer up in Portland and Big thing for her was getting drones banned from forests and in parks and whatnot Because I guess it just rubs fuck it birds or some Fucking no, no, it does't she was very passionate about though so that's why you don't have drones at the park is because Fucking women make them banned because women hate computers women hate all mechanical birds that shit on me and my dog

Fucking with that bird. Yeah, you would never want to live in a world without that bird all over You would never want to live in a world without that bird shitting all over every day. They just hate computers. If you give them a reason to ban all this AI porn shit, it's not about the porn. Women love the idea of men making AI porn of them. They love it. If the whole world was constantly generating and looking at AI porn of them, they would throw a big fucking parade, but because, which we do in our brains,

they constantly want us to think about them naked and fucking them in our AI computer brains. But the second we make a computer to do it, they hate it. They hate seeing them, they hate hearing the hum of computers that we yearn for, and they'll do anything to get rid of them, because we'll replace them one day. I'm most on getting fatter. Then I saw Maddox release this video and I was like,

I don't have time for that. I just started getting back into it. I'm watching the 15 minute thing when stalkers, fans, whatever it's called, is this guy serious? Yeah, he's fucked up. Is he, is it a schtick? Like, are you guys just playing like this? No, he's insane. Long form schtick or like this?

Well, I am. This is what it is now. No, you're watching a. He's gonna pretend to be like the balding, Yeah. Weird, doesn't get it. You're watching mental illness progress in real time. Yeah, and you're just like the very successful opposite of that. Like you're the Anthony of Opie and Anthony. Right. Or though, like anytime there's a more successful version of something when the duo breaks up.

Right. But he's like, he's like, he wouldn't even be able to get Wade without me. Does he say that? Is this guy for real? We gotta watch more of that video. Yeah, well, I know we gotta watch. We have a bonus to do a bonus episode. Yeah, we need to, don't we?

Next week. He's hitting the limit. I thought it was bad with the, with the cartoon bedsheets. Maybe this week we could do a bonus episode. Yeah, we need to, don't we? He's hitting the limit. I thought it was bad with the cartoon bedsheets. Yeah. And just the no content for 20 years, I'm sorry, for over four half a decade. Halfs of a decade, yeah.

Is he making new videos now? Is he back to the old, I don't know. He's gotta make a new video. Now that he's got rallied everyone behind. I mean, we haven't talked about him much lately. It seems like he's been quiet. I gotta show you these boogie texts. Yeah.

Let me. Text to you? No, Boogie and Keemstar are talking shit about me. Oh. In a text. And then Boogie said that I was unwell. Who leaked the texts? They fired, Keemstar fired the editor of their LOL Cow podcast. Oh, and so he was like, here, have these.

Yeah, but he didn't kick him out of the group chat. And then they started talking shit in the group chat, and the guy's like, oh, thanks. Stupid, this, yeah. Let me try to find him. Connor, here he was. Uh... Yeah, look at all this shit they're talking. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Have you ever said that many ha's? No. In text? Uh-uh. Um... Here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, uh, going on Dick Boogie says going on Dick's show burns the bridge. For what? Giving, I take giving that guy any attention personally.

He's talking about me. Just. What did I ever do? Well, I mean. I didn't feed him carbs for 50 years. Make a lot of hot jokes. I didn't, I wasn't his dad that forced him to jack him off. I didn't do that.

I would have said, Hey Boogie's dad, stop doing that. Is this what? Yeah, he says his dad molested him, but I don't even believe him, honestly. If he's saying this stuff about me, who knows where the truth is? I mean... There goes all Connor's credibility.

All right, let me try to find the one where Boogie's talking about me. Look at this guy. That's such a great. He's looking at, he's saying, there's so much in that face. Is the thumb going up that dog's ass? Is that what he's thinking? He just, yeah, he's thinking deeply about something. He's thinking of giving a good think about it. Man, if I ever got in the background of like a Don Lemon's wedding,

I hope I would have a face that good. That's, yeah, it's great. Okay. There's a bunch of people. Oh yeah. I said it once, Boogie says, I said it once before I'll say it again. When I got offered the show, I looked into Dick, okay?

And people like Maddox reach out to me and honestly, I figured if I had to deal with him once a week, I would have deleted myself by now. Okay, okay. And considering I work with... so Boogie would have killed himself if he had to work with you. Yeah. Because Maddox told him how... what a monster you are. What a monster I am. And considering I work with Keemstar daily and he's not easy to deal with,

yet I would still rather work with him than Dick. Okay. Okay. Uh... Uh... Oh yeah, here it is. Though I like Vito a lot, and he's tried to get me to warm up to Dick, I consider Vito a friend. Why is he writing like this?

Like, no, but like none of this, though I like, I consider Vito- Like a little girl? Why is he spelling everything? No, that's not like a, is that a period there? I'm just trying to be like, his sentence structure doesn't like it. It's a disaster. Yeah.

What follows is not the end of that first sentence. Like combining all these lies together on the fly. But they are different people. And if Vito wanted Connor on Alone without Dick on another stream, I would feel somewhat better. But that's not what happened. And I didn't do the podcast with Dick because several people reached out to me

telling me how unwell Dick is. So I turned him down. He's been insane about that ever since. I have been insane. Have you been posting a lot of stuff? No. No? I mean just about Boogie's like teeth and stuff that he's like fat and... The usual stuff that you would...

Yeah, normal funny stuff. He's been insane about that ever since. Yeah. I like this next bit. When you say several, do you mean Maddox? Posting as multiple people, right? Everybody reached out to me. Several people. Maddox was one of them. Who are the other ones? Well, Heather S. was another one. Right, right, right. He blocked me. I can't... Let me see if I can load up an incognito. That's no fun. I know. Boogie... 2988. This is my only exposure to social media.

And he protected himself? Boogie, don't take this away from me. He had this like, little 20 year old girlfriend. Yeah. And as soon as they started dating, he would post videos of them in the bathtub together. Like half nude. Not showing her tits, but like showing her naked back. Totally inappropriate.

Like just to ruin her... She must be tiny. She was tiny. In a bathtub with him? That guy? Yeah, it was a big bathtub. Look at... I mean, I haven't seen his whole body, but I mean, just looking for that looks huge, right?

He's enormous. But he would post all these videos of her to ruin her for everyone else, so she would be compelled not to leave him, you know? Like, sick head games that he's playing with her. Like, you can't post pictures of somebody else in the fucking bathtub. Psychotic.

Especially with a 20-year-old girl, she doesn't know any better. She doesn't know she's being abused. Yeah, right. Like right there, right? Yeah. And then he would say shit like, I talked to her father today about proposing

and he said I have his blessing. I was like, bro, this is just, you're just kind of like, you're weirdly manipulating her into staying with you. It's obvious. Older women would understand this, which she doesn't. What you're doing is sick and wrong.

And then she left him, I guess. And then he said he was gonna kill himself. He said he's gonna kill himself publicly as a threat to her without threatening her. Like he can't say, if you don't come back, I'm gonna kill myself. Instead he goes to the internet and says, oh, she left and I'm gonna kill myself.

Ooh. Which is cool. You know, do whatever you gotta do, I'm gonna kill myself and then he goes the internet says I'm gonna she left and I'm gonna kill myself Which is cool, you know do whatever you got to do but make sure it works and it didn't okay That's the show everyone Good times. See you next Tuesday. All right. See ya. Thank you