The Dick Show - Episode 408 - Dick on Real Writer Problems

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Maddox writes a book inside of a book, browsing Stormfront for non-white swastikas, women shooting dogs, Weinstein's freedom fake-out, religious rankings, a man goes to Disneyland, a abortion ads, a female baseball announcer, how to fight a substitute teacher, another breast reduction scare, anti-semitism monitors, and a Family-Sized Fat Watch; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The amount of rape talk has gotten way worse. Has it really? Well, because they're just shitheads in a Discord, you know, saying anything to be crazy. Yeah. If only Maddox could afford the... The dollar. The livestream. The dollar a month.

Is that what it is? No, no, no. Access to the Discord is a dollar. Oh, got it. And that's too low. I mean, I'm giving it away. Yeah. I talked to my accountant and she's like, you're killing me with these prices.

She? You're killing me with these prices. Killing me with these prices? You're giving it away on the Patreon. You gotta raise it. And I said, no, no, no. I made a commitment. Yeah. At $5. At $5 it will be.

At $5 it shall remain. Oh, let's see. Remember that pub, Dillon's, in Hollywood? Oh man, that was a great pub. Remember it was like, $3 Guinness. $3 pints, and they always in forever, and then they went out of business. Well they moved it. Did they?

Yeah. Yeah, these like- I like that place. Commercial real estate guys, like restaurant spaces, they just move. They have a new one every, you know, every X amount of time because people love a new spot. So they move Dillon's down the street whatever happened to remember like it was a big deal when cat and fiddle lost that space Oh, that was a shame and then they just sucks. Did they do they stay open somewhere else?

I know they're talking about that they did is it still there They're all the old space of the new one. Well, no that can fiddle still around. Yeah that I don't know I did go to their new space. That place was like a institution man, with that courtyard and everything. That was great man. I used to take my parents dog there. Ah yeah, cause you can do that out on the patio.

They had a nice patio. Yeah. Never know who you'd see in there too. There's usually some- Oh really, who'd you see? Well usually some, it was like some of the more, like Morrissey from the Smiths would be in there all the time like You know Mexicans love him?

Yeah, yeah, I've seen a lot Fuckin love him Like Germans and David Hasselhoff, Mexicans are like go shit over Morrissey Yeah, it's kind of crazy actually I can remember seeing like a bunch of Mexican teenagers with like Morrissey shirts or Smiths shirts Yeah What is going on here guys? I don't know Anyway you were saying like a bunch of Mexican teenagers with like Morrissey shirts or Smith's shirts or, yeah. What is going on here guys?

I don't know. Anyway, you were saying. Very strange. No, no, no. He always had this, I can't really, we've seen different people in there, but yeah, he always had that, I'm in the corner by myself, nobody better get within fucking 10 feet of me

or I'll shoot lasers out of my eyes, look, cause he's such a fucking- Is that the name of his song? He's such a curmudgeon yeah maybe that's why Mexicans like him he's like Tweety Bird oh like Tweety Bird like stay away from me Tweety Bird was a stay away from me guy I don't know they got it on their on their shirts they love like Tweety Bird because he's tough Tweety Bird is tough well according to in the Mexican lore yeah they love they fucking love Tweety Bird because he's tough. Tweety Bird is tough? Well according to the Mexican lore, yeah. They love, they fucking love Tweety Bird.

Huh, I am not well versed in Tweety Bird. Mexicans love little tiny bodies and big heads. Oh, okay. That's all it takes. Aliens, their women are the opposite. That's why they like it so much. Mexican women got little tiny heads, great big bodies. Oh, okay.

That's why they got the hair like they do, the Mexican girls. They're always trying to make their heads look bigger to match their bodies. You know, the hair goes straight up, they got those pompadours. It's a relationship, it's a perspective thing. Yeah, they're trying to trick you. Yeah. Put eyeballs on their hair. Do they take selfies differently then?

Mexicans? Yeah, to make like heads. I guess people look better when you take it from above, but can you, I don't know. They lean over like that fish eye lens. Right, so your body is further back. Oye Chico, hi puppy. It's like taking a picture with a fish.

It's closer to the camera, right? And then the guys go, damn, look at that fish eye lens you got there. This is hot off the presses. Oh boy. You know, we talked about Maddox's exes dating exes on our bonus episode and we talked about it with Carl a little bit but we didn't make fun of really Maddox's

The reason why he said he obsessively called 80s girl after we left the wedding is because yeah, he was never allowed to drink and drive That's insane shit. I've ever heard. That's so insane That's insane. That's the gang of shit I've ever heard. That's so insane. The reason wasn't because I was I was worried about Them hooking up the reason was because when we dated I was never allowed to drive after drinking even one beer Because and then here dick was totally shit-faced and she's fine with it It's like yeah, and this is a really bad cell phone that you're no matter how no matter how bad you think it, when you find out the truth, it's always weirder. I mean, I don't even believe that's the truth. What would be the resolution of that phone call?

Hey! Hey! Do you know I'm doing this drunk? But that doesn't make it any less weird. It's such a weird fabrication. That's what you went with? That's what he went with! It's so so crazy the drinking thing would make more sense. That's like that's understandable to a normal person putting somebody in danger Yeah, yeah, I was upset right now cuz he's a dangerous. He's a dangerous guy right right. You're a loner a rebel You don't want to get mixed up with that guy, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's dangerous to do what you're doing But not just making sure you're okay. Why can he do it and I can't?

It's so crazy. God what it and it was like you can't afford insurance. That's why. Wasn't the reason, it's like She couldn't get another DUI or something. I'm like it sounded like it was like what the fuck does that have to do with anything? The reasoning was totally preposterous. What do you, what so? She couldn't get another DUI so if you did-

So that's why you were worried? Like a public defender? If you did have one beer That would mean that she would have to drive Cause you're so fucking intoxicated No the line he quoted In the video was You can get a DUI if you If you reach over and grab the wheel for any reason

Right if you have to take control of the car. What fucking crazy read this? It says a lot. Girlfriend police, I've got to commandeer your vehicle. What are you talking about? Oh my God. What universe are you in? It's so-

You gotta watch more TV, buddy. And then just look at TV and everything they're doing realize that that's closer to reality than what you're doing. So he actually- Learn about relationships from television. Not video games, not Gradius or whatever you, Contra. So he actually thought that she could conceit,

if he had a beer and she somehow, in a fairly likely scenario in his mind, had to take control of the car, and then she could get another DUI. A DUI. A DUI, A DUI. Or, I don't know if she had one or whatever. He posted a fucking receipt of nothing!

Okay, so I don't even know, to be honest. Posted a form that had nothing on it. So if that happens, then... I'm sorry, officer, I have to tell the truth. She leaned across and steered the car into the median. How much have you had to drink, sir? Did you have anything to drink? Hey, no problem officer, actually she's driving.

I'm just sitting in the driver's seat, so I think you'll find that, go ahead and take her to jail. Maybe there was a cop in the car and saw the whole thing. It's just, it's so fucking out. It's so fucking stupid. It's crazy. I can't even, stupid, like that word doesn't even mean anything to me in relation to this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so crazy. It's delusional. That's how his brain works. Wow. But you just pulled up a tweet, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just pull up a tweet, right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, Maddox says, somebody said authors will literally write another book to avoid writing their book, and Maddox says, in all caps here, like he's made this for Instagram or whatever, he says, a hundred percent, I've actually started another book while on a deadline for a different book. While on a dead- So, let me ask you a question-

Bitch, you don't write books! No! You wrote two or three books! You're not a fucking writer! So is this, is this, uh, something that he's been working on for five years and just got around to posting? Are we talking about past books? I mean, he has no books. He's never writing a book again after the last one.

I don't believe in- After all this online shit. Never. I don't believe in either of these books. I've actually started another book while on deadline for a different book. A different book. Wow, bro. What deadline? Who is enforcing the deadline? Well, me. Yeah. I gave myself a deadline to write a book and the deadline? Well, me. Yeah.

I gave myself a deadline to write a book, and then I started writing another book. But I had to... You're gonna dip into senility real well, buddy. I had to put that on hold to make my feature documentary. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Stop talking about your ideas at some point. Stop talking about all the shit you're gonna do. I was talking to my life coach the other day. And I'm like, oh man, I just abandoned a bunch of domain names that I've have accrued over the years. Right, just let them expire.

He's like, oh yeah, that's a weird, that's a good thing. That's a healthy thing. It's like, I didn't, I don't, maybe I don't get rid of the domain yet, but surely I don't need the shortened URL version of this project that I've been planning to do for 20 years. You know? Yeah.

At some point you just gotta let it go. Like, uh, like if you haven't worn something in six months, you gotta throw it away. Yeah. Or if you haven't done it in two years. Five years. Let's say five years. For online, like domains and stuff, you know? Anything. Yeah, sure.

Anything. Let it go. Um, alright, we're, well that would have been a good time for the theme song, but. Alas. Alas. Presenting Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. La la la la la la la la la. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

La la la la la la la la la. Dick. La la la la la la Dick. What's up buddy? How you doing? Pretty good. How about you? Good. Better after that sip? You know it. It's not even the sip. If I could just crack open a new beer,

I think that's what it is. The most enjoyment is the crack of the beer. The little dopamine, the promise of the beer, right? Yeah, I need like a pacemaker. Here's my first invention. I used to start feeling good when I would think about drinking. Like, I mean, where it's like, or I'm about to, you know, it was like, oh, I'm like half an hour, I'm getting out of here, I'm getting the liquor store.

Where did you come from? Oh, yeah. All of a sudden, the rest of the day, well, I was like, I was a happy guy. Unfortunately, then I just then I just drank anyway, you know? Yeah, exactly. I should have been like, oh, I can't wait to go to sleep. I'm going to drink in my sleep tonight. It's going to be amazing. Right, right. I just need like a pacemaker of that sound every couple of every couple of seconds. I can ratchet it up If I'm having a bad day

And then some days I could you know, just actually do it. Yeah get away with one every minute or so Like a store down the street nicotine patch of of, well actually that's actually nicotine. ASMR. That's my man ASMR. Right. And like a fart. Like a good fart. So if you have a bad one, you're like, ah man I gotta load up this good fart sound. Like, ah okay that's good.

Gotcha. Liquor store got robbed down the street. Really? Yeah, sure enough. Dammit. First comment. That's better. Gotcha. Um, liquor store got robbed down the street. Really? Yeah, sure enough. Damn it. First comment. Gentrification. Oh.

What do you fuckers think? What do you fucking idiots think? Is that what somebody... They all think all the crime is up because of gentrification. Well, that doesn't really... I swear to God, I don't understand these people. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.

No. That doesn't make sense. Mmm. I don't understand these people. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't, that doesn't make sense, no. That doesn't make sense. I would say crime is up because fucking, you know, diapers are probably 30 fucking dollars a fucking package. Yeah, you think so? I mean, better than gentrification. You got an Indian on a tablet, checking you out, diapers are $30, they're manufactured in China to save three cents and not give you a job.

Oh, yeah. And you're buying them from something that you hope is AI and not an Indian at a call center. That's who's processing your transaction at a 30% interest rate with money that's deflating 10% every year. Is that where we're at, guys? Meanwhile, the women are killing our dogs, taking our houses. Did you see the governor, the lady governor

that killed her dog? She killed her dog? No. Yeah, South Carolina governor. She shot a 14-month-old dog and then basically bragged about it in her memoirs. Like, was it one of those? Oh, people are gonna really love this story. Like, a culling? Like, was it a purpose-bred dog? Like, it was gonna be, you know what I mean? Was she breeding, she's breeding a lion or something? It you know I don't know she's yet another

what look she's yet another woman with a dog yeah that's not trained properly oh and she decided to take it out to a gravel pit and blow its brains out she has it embarrassed her in front of the neighbors it attacked a bunch of chickens oh boy so she goes that's it I've had enough and I didn't put a leash on it of course drag it over to a gravel pit then put It attacked a bunch of chickens. Oh boy. So she goes, that's it. I've had enough. I've had enough of this dog. It didn't put a leash on it, of course. Dragged it over to a gravel pit. Then put the leash on to go kill it.

Dragged it over to a- Was it a video of this? She- Described it in- She goes into it in psychotic detail. You know, this is on the heels of a bunch of right-wing women crying about how the internet and right-wing men don't make things safe enough for them, that we're not welcoming enough for them, and then

guys are like, oh yeah, I guess we can be pretty tough, and then the biggest one of them turns around and blows a dog's head off and then goes and brags about it to the entire world. And we're like, do you realize that this is like the white person version of saying the N-word? You can't just go around shooting dogs and bragging about it. You won't make friends. People don't like that. No, people don't like that.

Why? It's my, I'm allowed to do it. I'm a fucking farmer. Well, yeah, 14 months. I mean, that's kind of, it's an adult at that stage, you know? Like, I mean, it's funny, you know, people do breathe lines. It's, from what I've heard, what I've heard the people who, you know, supposedly know, the best dogs are bred in the United, in the U.S., are bred in the South, as far as they are purpose bred for things. They use them more in the South than they do like in LA

or New York City where they're just a 100% strictly companion. So like, yeah, I mean, they will call certain dogs from, you know, to keep a line good, where it's like, you know, I don't know if they, anything from just, you know, not very, not very trainable or they have some kind of a tendency to do something that is very undesirable. That's all fine.

Then they don't go bragging about it in a memoir when they're running for vice president. It's part of doing good work, unfortunately. Or you definitely don't let them breed, you know? But then also, you end up with a bunch of dogs that you have to feed and take care of and aren't working for you. See, the way you've described it now,

it makes me think that you care about dogs. Yeah. The way this dumb bitch is describing it makes me think you have a hard on. Yeah. This is why right-wing spaces are not welcoming to women because I don't fucking buy it. I don't believe that you really care

about less government intervention and having a strong economy. welcoming to women because I don't fucking buy it. I don't believe that you really care about less government intervention and having a strong economy. It's like listening to liberal men like I don't believe you. I think you're just a predator. I think you're saying this to get close to women so you can rape them. There's always a percentage. Yeah. There's always a, you know. It's all about, I'm all about equality and women's rights. No, you're not. I don't believe you at all. And then women come on the right and they're like, oh yeah, I'm about strength and toughness. Take care of this puppy.

You got it, bam! You mean like take care of it? Take care of it, watch over it! How was I supposed to know? You give me something, I'm gonna kill it. Okay! That's my default. Go back to the left.

We don't need this kind of help. We don't need this kind of support, ladies! Good god. You guys gotta be more welcoming to women. Alright, come on in. Hey, are there any dogs around here? I'm kinda feeling... Itchy trigger finger. I'm feeling like I got a taste for blood. I got a fever.

Yeah, the only cure is killing your fucking dog. Dog brain's on the wall. If there's a contest between... ...a woman and a dog......I killing your fucking dog. Dog brains on the wall. If there's a contest between a woman and a dog, I'm on the dog's side. No matter what. No matter what. No matter what. The dog's going nuts, ripping kids' heads off.

You clearly didn't train it properly. Clearly. Because I've never seen one of you do it. Couldn't control it. Yeah. That dog was untrainable. Yeah. I mean, have you trained one?

Have any of you trained? Did you train yourself? Have you trained yourself to not say the one thing you shouldn't have said in this situation, which is a story about killing a fucking dog? Did that cross your mind? Can someone put a treat in this broad's mouth every time she gets through a sentence without talking about murdering a fucking dog? Good job. Good interview. Here's a little snack. You didn't talk about anything fucking crazy Like it's so fucking hard Yeah, that's it. It's not gonna win you friends. I'd sure like to fix the economy. Yeah, let's I kill dogs

Yeah, can you shut the fuck up? That's like the fucking I like turtles kid Can you shut the fuck up? That's like the fucking I like turtles kid. Why did you just say I kill dogs? That wasn't the question at all. Why should the American people trust you with their the future of their families and their children and all these stuff? Why? I'll kill a dog. That's like a fucking, that's a fucking Beetlejuice joke!

That's how far I'm willing to go. I'll chew on a dog! Yee-haw! I'll do any, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow! Yup. Okay. I'll kill on a dog! Yee-haw! I'll do anything! I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow! Yep. Okay. I'll kill a dog too. Hey, can you shut the fuck up? People like dogs. Can we stop trotting these insane wa- every single one of them. Yeah.

Crazy eye. Seeing through time and space. How do they- how do they get that? How do women get that? It's really wild how- No! How do they get that? Where you can just look in somebody's eyes and you go, there's all kinds of fucking crazy there. They're, they're, they're-

I don't want to read your memoirs. I can see what's in your eyes a little bit. They're looking at something, they're thinking about something and none of it is good. None of it's good. Let me make sure I have this. So all I'm saying is... So that was his response...

Man's best friend. To this tweet. Who's never taken a kid, never taken nobody's house, maybe take a couple kids, but not on the scale of dogs. Yeah. Oh, the dumb ones. And man's... What's the root of all men's problems?

Women. Okay. If the contest is between the two, I'm on the dog side. I don't care what happens in farm life. I don't care. She did something. If farm life, if you're working on a farm and you don't know that the woman is probably in the wrong,

I don't know what you're farming bullshit. Maybe she's- I don't know what you're farming buddy. Bullshit farmer. You're a bullshit farmer. Maybe she's- Oh, that woman did something or something happened? Yeah, that was probably her fault. Probably shot a dog somewhere.

Her dog got out, attacked a bunch of chickens, and you know what her response is? The woman? What's that? Well, the law says I can do it. Oh, that's right. I think you're kind of missing the point. Right, right. Oh, the law says I'm with him. Yeah, so nobody should have a problem I guess the portions are fine men if we're going the laws all the more the laws the only morality we have is that

What you think right is that what you think that the laws we're trying I'm trying to suss out who you are exactly You're giving little clues away. That's it. That's more telling to me than the act itself The act I don't think, is really that upsetting. Well, I mean, you know, look, you shouldn't have done that, but... She didn't torture it, right? I mean, she killed it and it didn't know what hit it, right? You think she's a good shot? I've seen a woman unload an entire clip into a raccoon, that thing bled to death in three

days! It's a, you know, domesticated, uh, it probably sat there, shoot, looking at her and wagging its tail. Oh god, no! These are not the things you want to put in people's minds when they think about Trump! We gotta get Trump a woman to make it more palatable to women. Who's the best one we got? The dog killer.

Great. Oh boy. God, you fucking idiot. God. We could have had a nice wall, but instead you want to... Instead you just can't train your goddamn dog. It's untrainable. No, it's not. Nothing is untrainable. We've all seen the dog whisperer. Right. Right, right, right.

And he actually says it's your fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So am I supposed to believe the cute little Mexican man who's on South Park or are you a dumb crazy-eyed bitch? I'm again, people are awesome. Most people actually are so bad with their dogs and knowing their behavior, they're actually lucky that their dog is as good as it is.

Yeah, yes. Ah, I don't, do you even wanna, you wanna read the clips of it? I mean, it depends. Are we starved for content or do- I mean, not really. Instead, the dog ruined the hunt by chasing all those birds and I hated that

dog. Having the time of her life oh my god! She's like the dog! The dog having fun! She's putting all these sick emotions into the dog right? Projecting all these weird human emotions. Instead the younger dog ruined the hunt by chasing all those birds and having the time of her life. This was that the dog was having a blast. You're talking about it like a diet of cancer. You are the cancer. Right. Oh, I couldn't have. I couldn't let that thing keep having fun.

Not on my watch. I hated that dog. And at that moment, adding that it was untrainable, dangerous and worthless as a hunting dog. Why? Because she said, oh, she said she tried to bite her. It's just like you're just saying the N withword, the confidence of a boomer explaining the difference between a hard R and an A while they're saying the N-word. That's what you're putting out here.

The carcass is littering the scene of the crime. Listen to that loaded fucking language. I know. This dog is a psychopath killer. The dog. You literally have no problems if this happened in your life. You're just like making shit up. So I hey Bundy come over here it's like the dog is like a fucking serial killer the dog came over and tried to bite me just

to describe it sniffing the barrel of the shotgun if you're gonna go this far you know seriously paint a picture yeah show us how tough you are picks a daisy and puts it in the end of the gun, you know. I'm so tough I could look the other way when Big Pharma does literally anything. Yeah. Uh, but it works. It's funny because it works for guys. That's all it takes for men in politics is to talk macho about shit.

Like if I would, if Putin fired a nuke it's like WWE but a little bit less like well Putin's gonna have another thing coming for him if he gets in the octagon with if he gets in the ring with me I'll grab the nukes and tie him in a pretzel and then throw him back and then put him in a thing like a like a thing like a 30s style food vendor at a boxing event and go around like that. Like, alright, that's dumb. It's Mark Wahlberg talking about 9-11 if he had been on the planes or whatever. That's probably one of the greatest moments of my life.

Yeah. Like, thing that happened. Mark Wahlberg saying... I can't remember the exact quotes or what. I think he said it wouldn't have gone down like it would if I was there. Yeah, it was like... Beautiful. That's tremendous.

Mark, you really, you really, took, you really seized the day. You really Carpe Diem the fuck out of that quote, man. Good job. And I believe you. I believe you. Yeah, yeah. But you put a woman there running for president.

I'll five foot two a year. Really? Well, I'd shoot a dog. Don't, get out of here, bitch. Stop talking. Shut up, get out of here, bitch. Stop talking. Get out of here. Yeah, there you go. Oh Good times. Um, I have some bad news the want the Weinstein Verdict that I thought he was out. I thought Harvey Weinstein was out. Really? I

Haven't followed him at all. Well, he was thrown in the prison for directing movies. Yeah. Producing movies. Okay, yeah. Something with women, I don't know. He got overturned, one of his sandbag. They throw innocent men in prison all the time. It happens all the time.

It happened at Cosby. How many counts was he convicted on? I don't even know really the specifics of it. Exactly how many, were there different? Different women? Well, yeah, no, I mean there were, right? Yeah. So a count got overturned? He didn't come through on one end of his deal, end of the bargain, and she didn't get famous, so she got all pissed off and sued him for something. Okay. the bargain and she didn't get famous so she got all pissed off and sued him for something. Okay. It got overturned. Yeah.

I thought, oh, thank God, the nightmare is over. This Me Too shoot is over. We can go back to, you know, pushing the line with these broads. Everyone can get laid again. That's when I was like, hey, we're all going to get laid. When I saw that beautiful- He's got a head from Amelia Earhart. When I saw him, when I saw his big smiling face come out, but then someone told me that his,

he's still convicted in California. So he's still going to be in jail. Oh, well, was it a, was there a state and a federal case? I think there's two. There's a New York one and a California. Oh, okay. Two state cases. I don't really know. I can't look into it, you know? It's too depressing. It's too depressing for me to have to sift through the details. We did Josh Denny's show.

Yeah. His stand-up. Right. In where? Torrance? Torrance. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, that's cool. That was fun.

Yeah, and you said, so Vito did stand-up? Vito He did stand up too. He's good. That's what you said. He's good at it. Yeah He's got this kind of energy that really Goes over well, I could see that. He's telling jokes about like the Truman Show and shit That's like, you know, so he has 30 years old. He's got decent material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he did well No shit, but then he doesn't want to he only wants to have. Yeah. He did well, no shit. But then he doesn't want to, he only wants to headline. He doesn't want to do, he's like, what's the point of it anyway?

Like, what do you get? Yeah. Get a TV show out of it? I mean, what's the point of your standup? Yeah. I mean, I, you know. It's a guy can tour, but what's the point? I like that.

Yeah, all right. You just start at the top. It's way easier that way. Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, maybe, maybe, I think that a lot of start at the top. It's way easier that way. Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, maybe, maybe, I think that a lot of people who like worked their way up just didn't realize that you could start at the top.

You know? They've been doing it backwards. They've been doing it backwards. They're so long and stupid. Right. Start at the top and work your way down. Then you got like a really interesting book to write at the end of your life.

You write it backwards. You write it exactly. You write it, yeah. Do the riches to your life. You write it backwards. You write it exactly. You write it, yeah. Do the riches to rags. It's more interesting. I'm trying to find the, I'm trying to find this clip. We did the bonus, oh here it is. We did the bonus show with Carl.

Yes. And you know, we talked about the financial feminist. Yeah, right. Okay. Someone sent me this based on that show. This apparently is her. Yeah. And her Instagram thing is, she's got a picture of her signing books, I guess, or maybe she's just eating somewhere, and this is a big stack of books.

Okay. They look suspiciously like pizza boxes, and you get a free book, a free pizza with every book I guess probably. It says to my college boyfriend and his mom who told me I was too fat and should lose weight. The mom said you were too fat too? At different times? I don't know if they did it together or at different times. This is a writer we're talking about a financial expert. It'd be great if they did it at different times and hadn't talked to each other first You know, they're both just just volunteered, you know, by the way, you're you're too fat. You're too fat for my son You're fat in college fat for my mom. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, we got a problem. I'm not that's what we should do guys

That's what we should do. Yes. You know, I got to talk You know, I gotta talk to you. I love the way you look. I love your weight. I think you could be healthy at any hundreds of pounds. But my mom thinks you are a fat whore. She's old school. It's just the way she was raised. It's because of the body image stuff, man. She didn't have that.

She didn't have a bunch of fat chicks and yoga pants all over. I had a series of dead dogs as a child. I mean, it's really, yeah. She can't stop. So could you just lose some weight for her, obviously? It's triggering, it's a triggering mental health issue for her.

Yeah. So, lose the weight. Right. Or else. Let's see what she's saying here. Mm, good. What's it like seeing my fat ass on the New York Times bestseller list?

In the company of Maddox? Yeah, what's it? Oh, this is her. This is a letter to her college boyfriend and his mom. That she thinks about all the time. Who said she was too fat. Then she says, what's it like seeing my fat ass on the New York Times bestseller list? Yeah.

Not nothing? So I take it she's not in a relationship and not married. She's married to money, I guess. Because, I mean, she's married to Rome, I think. If you're in a relationship or you, you don't do this, right? I mean, I hope. You don't make this, right? I mean... I hope! You don't make five year long documentaries about your ex when you have a girlfriend, right?

Bingo! You don't make posts like this when you're in a relationship. No, you don't. Even if you want to. You don't. You gotta read the optics. Yeah. Let's see here.

Ahhhhhhh That's it? That's the whole thing? I guess, yeah. Like, she should show like, you know, the line. Assuming there is a line of people. Oh yeah. That's a POV.

I'm signing books. It's a tight shot. My account went she just, it's all- That's a POV. I'm signing books. It's a tight shot. My account went from 650,000 followers on Instagram Is her? To two million in under 10 months. And no, I didn't pay a dime for ads. I didn't buy any of those followers. It wasn't an accident.

She looks like a potato. She's inflating her numbers. Well, there you go. That's nice. Good for her. I never knew what she looked like until now. I thought, I thought we, I thought we looked at her one time. I think so.

That's what kind of what I remember her. Oh yeah. Then they always quote, I always quote Dave Ramsey, Dave Ramsey, Dave Ramsey. He's a financial fucking guy with like, with knowledge that's like 30 years dated according to Everybody who's doing it right now like people yeah What these guys just they're just talking about money online on TV all day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah check out this money Give me yours some cool money over here. Yeah, you guys want to see my money now Sean what do you think of your

sports guy? Yeah, I am. Oh, we're going backwards. We are going backwards in time. Okay. They're taking away the, they're taking away our free refills. Yeah? McDonald's, yeah. Putting everything behind glass. Oh man. Can't buy anything Yeah. McDonald's. Yeah. Putting everything behind glass. Oh man. Can't buy anything anymore. It's impossible. Yeah.

Taking away baseball. What do you rate this out of a woman out of 10? Okay. Here's the color commentator. This is the Oakland A's by the way, right? This is major league baseball. Okay. Just to get my mind in the right place. Pretend you're watching a baseball game.

So you've been bored for an hour and a half. Right. Rooker at second, Bladay at first. That's in the air. Towards right field. Ryan McKenna leaps up to grab it. Over his head it goes and coming in home. How about we have ourselves an even up game? That's bad, dude. Hahahaha! That's bad. Hahahaha!

That's bad. You can see that she, like, she doesn't, she can't forecast at all. Like, I mean, that's a real, she waits- Were the fucking lights off? Like, it's just, this is like how I walk in the dark, so now bang my shins, that's what it sounds like. Right, right. Well, everything is, everything is a second or two behind the actual action. Yeah. You know, it's, and he goes up in the air for the ball.

Yeah. Oh, and it's over his, and he's already thrown. Oh, it's over his head. Yeah. Oh, and that's what we have in the even up, even up, and the numbers are the same. You've got a numbers are the same game. When it was still on the-

What? A good announcer would say something like, when it was still, when he was still dealing with the ball out there, and here comes so and so around third, you know, without seeing it. Without seeing a story. Without even seeing it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the time it cut back, it's like, you're like, oh shit, there's gonna be a play at the plate. Shout shit. And you haven't even seen the base paths. There's gonna be a play at the plate. And that's what we call a, that's what we call it, even up game.

It sounds like me talking about sports. Yeah, I mean, it's, she wasn't ready. You know, that's not a major league baseball. Of course, the A's are also not a major league baseball team. But yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that said. I think they're the last team. And I don't know if it's still true

because I really don't, you know, the A's are just, you don't even think about them. But I think that they were definitely the last baseball team that still played on a field where football was played also. Oh yeah, I remember that. So they knocked them out. Like still, like up until like maybe now

Are they just cheaper they sell? What's the deal with that? No, no because the Raiders are gone right so like trying to think. I don't know. Yeah yeah but I mean up until like a couple years ago they were the only team for like years playing where it's like oh oh you can tell this is also used as a football field. Here it is look at this no more free refills free refills. Free refills are out. Yeah. That's...

They're just taking it away for fun, man. Yeah. Now we're in the... I don't know about this late-stage capitalism shit. This is part of like shrinkflation kind of. I mean, they're just like now you've... That shit costs... We're not going to raise the price, but you're going to...

...fucking three cents. Oh, I know. At large. No, drinks are the... You could fill up a five-g five gallon drum of it for a quarter. It's like the largest profit margin, right? It's always drinks, isn't it? Yeah.

Why? It's the taking shit away from us stage. This pornography, all the fucking right wing idiots are teaming up to- You think about the millions of people, sir. Millions of people in McDonald's every day. It's like that fucking, it adds up. It's the little, it's the, you know,

the office space, you know, decimal point thing rounding off the fractions of a cent, you know. Remember how exciting free refills were when they came out? Ooh, man, that hit us. That was peak, that was peak 80s. That was peak Ponzi scheme right then before the great retraction. That was peak America,, that was peak Ponzi scheme right then, before the great retraction. That was peak America, free refills, really.

Yeah, in America, they don't even charge for soda. No. Huh, what? What's soda? It's land where the soda flows like wine. What if somebody gets a water cup and they fill it up with soda? They don't even care. They don't even care. They don't even care. Now the water's locked up. Can't even get fucking water. Really? Yeah, they took it up with soda. They don't even care. They don't even care. They don't even care. They're not even gonna- Now the water's locked up. Can't even get fucking water.

Really? Yeah, they took it all out. Huh. Damn. It's all going away. That sucks. We're going back to medieval times. Right.

We're gonna be eating dogs. Get yourself a woman. I smell some new religions. You're gonna eat one or the other. I'm not ready to pop up. Take your pick. Oh God, fucking dude broke. Yeah, dude broke Christianity.

That's the new religion. Good. I hate women, but because of God, not because of me. Okay, man. Here's some religious rankings that I have for you. This is what religions rate other religions. Oh yeah, this is always funny to me. First of all, you shouldn't be answering this survey. None of you. You should be saying, that's a horrible way to think. I don't think like that at all.

It's not my place to judge. Like I have my relationship with my God. God, yeah. And my God is an idiot because I dupe him on the daily. Yeah, he's fucking dumb. Like I find every loophole. I find every loophole. God is slightly dumber than everyone who believes in him. Right, right.

Everybody. Everyone's God that they're worshiping is just a little bit dumber than they are. And I'm not saying that relieving religion is stupid. I'm saying that everyone who believes in a God believes in a God that's a little bit slightly dumber than them. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. See, I love things like this because I'm on the sidelines. Yeah. And just watching a multi-car pile up and going, this is great. Atheist number one. I wouldn't save any of you. Yeah, we're going to kill everybody. As soon as we figure out a way to get back in there, tens of millions dead every single

time. Holocaust is nothing compared to what atheists do when we get in there. Don't care at all. Why are you doing this? I don't know. It's funny. Sure. People don't seem to understand that about the dog thing. No.

Like it's not a... We created this life form. Yeah. So just like we did all these other ones. Yeah. So we owe it to them to at least try to help them. Well, because that's what we want our God to do for us. With whatever, like in our minds, the mental health of the man, we want our Creator to have helped us. This is bullshit. But that is a healthy thing to think. Yes. So however we're

exerting it upon these animals that we created indicates how we view our own creators. We selected dogs to be- And hers is that it should just blow your brains out. In tune with us. Yeah. More than other dogs- there's- matter of fact a lot of the- We men did it. A lot of the new science is they're really questioning whether the dog is a pack animal anymore

because they're so different from a wolf. They're so tuned into people. They're tuned into people and they have it. They think it's somewhere between 27 and 40,000 years. There has been this ongoing domestication process. The oldest dog that they know of that was, that they know was treated as a member of the family because it was buried with them

and given the same like funeral rights or whatever. I think they dated it to like 14,300 years. So you think about how long... Wait, wait, wait, say that again? 14,000 years ago. Oh, okay. That what they think this dog was not just a thing, it was, you know, it was loved. It was part of the group.

So, and probably there are examples that they'll find that are probably older than that But that too that's to your point that we we made these things to be in tune with us to don't go They say you felt bad when you shot it in the head right she's like this dog fucking No you're cut off from dogs for a while. Yeah. Is there a man that you know that could take care of you? You know what she should be sentenced to? Having a macaw.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to see destruction? You want any of that shit? Go ahead, don't interact with that thing for five minutes. Let's see those fucking shoes now. Like a hot knife through fucking butter. Parrots, my God. I'm ordering it.

Yeah, you are sentenced to parrot ownership. Some people need to be reminded that dogs aren't kids. If that was a kid, she'd be in jail. No one says it's a kid. It's like you guys in the abortion shit. It's not like, Vito's like pro third trimester abortion. Like, man, that's fucking, that's too far. And if you're saying that, don't say it happily.

You had a lot of time to make this decision. You had a lot of do-over time, man. We got a do-over as deeply ingrained in us as the god shit. Everybody believes in a do-over. What you're saying is not do-over territory. What you're saying is fucking murder, bro. Well, yeah, I mean, I know some, you know, the laws are different in different states,

but apparently, like if the, I don't know if this is true or not. I read it somewhere. Might be bullshit, but if the fetus is able to take a breath, like a single breath outside the womb, and it dies because of you, you know, it's like, I don't know, you would, theoretical thing.

If the fetus is breathing, the abortion better be leaving. That's how I learned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That it's actually a chargeable, you know, like that's- Oh, it's a crime. That's murder, or if it, or- So you gotta put the, you gotta get a little gag on it, like a cover of clouds.

Okay, say somebody in the scenario, somebody like beats a pregnant woman to death. I think about that all the time. She goes into labor, the baby comes out and dies. That's two murders is what I understood it to mean. But you know, but you can't, but if it's literally like in the first few months, the baby is not formed.

It can't do anything. Say there's no chance that it was lived anyway. You gotta respect the things, the ideas that these things represent. Okay, later day. This is what religions feel about other religions. And the guy's point was evangelicals. Oh, favorability. Okay okay I don't know if it's gonna fit on the screen I'll just pull it up evangelicals are what does this say blue is what is fucking Mormons love everybody yeah oh yeah okay don't want heat on them I think ratings. Ratings given by total.

Okay, so everybody loves the Jews, Sean. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Plus 27%. Everybody really loves having a bank account. I mean, having a job. I mean, their culture and tradition. Everybody hates evangelical. Atheists and agnostics are like, they're the lowest or close to the lowest.

Plus 13, plus 16. They're like, yeah, Jews are okay. And Jews despise evangelical Christians. Yeah. So this is for the US. Okay, yeah. Who the fuck do you think supports Israel? Jews? What are you talking about? You spent 2,000 years training these people to support your fucking country and it's negative 40? How is that possible? Well the Jews say, yeah, right. The evangelical Christians are the only people on this graph that will die for Israel.

None of these other people give a fuck about Israel. They're okay with mainline Protestants. die for Israel. None of these other people give a fuck about Israel. So they're OK with definitely not Muslims. Jews are negative eight on Muslims and negative 40 on evangelical Christians. What? So what sense does that make? And look at why the Jews don't like and they really hate Jesus. Yeah. The Jews like atheists Mormons. Man, they really hate Jesus! Yeah. The Jews like atheists.

Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they're kind of the same, aren't they? Like, I always thought Judaism was basically just atheism with a bunch of stories and traditions. They don't actually believe in that shit, do they? I don't think so.

I don't know, but isn't there, like, they talk about, like, paradise, right? But it's like- Jews? Yeah, but it's like- They don't have an afterlife. Well that's what I mean. It's like debated whether it even- do any of them believe in like an afterlife? Nah, they didn't invent that shit. It was just like- it's just more like a code to live by, you know- Tradition.

While you're, you know, while you're here. Yeah, while you're like in the fucking desert for hundreds of years. I don't know that they, they don't have like a, if we're really good, we get rewarded in the next life. It's like, no, you need to be rewarded in this life. Yeah, it's working out really well for them. The strategy of being rewarded in this life

and not the next one. Is that not a good strategy? Yes, it's a great strategy. But how do they hate evangelical Christians the most? You know, I don't know. Perception of, yeah. I guess. I mean, they are annoying, but negative 40, man,

atheists have what? Some of this makes sense. Oh, negative 76, okay, the only more, the only ones who hate a Mori. The Mormons like everybody. The Mormons are the most correct. So the Mormons are the best religion. I guess so. As far as religion-ness goes, they clearly exhibit the most tolerance and forgiveness and stuff. Or the best liars

I mean, you know, or just I don't I have I don't believe in a concept of lying. Yeah Yeah, I know whatever you say is what you yeah. Yeah, it's just fun. It's just like yeah, everybody's doing their thing They're knocking out just leave us alone. Yeah, how come all these like Influencer scumbags. They're all trying, they're all pretending to be either Islamic or Christian. Oh. But Mormons have it figured out. They're knocking all the kids out. They got their women so in line that they have to say no to polygamy. They got too many women problem. Mmm.

That's, you know. Oh man, we got, we're so good, we got women crawling all over our dicks. We had to outlaw too many women, because it was so fun. Too many kids? We were having too many kids, getting too many bitches. We had to outlaw that shit. No other religions are outlawing like stealing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a stealing problem.

Maybe there's something there. I think there is something there. Okay. That's funny. What a funny graph chart Yeah, it is funny, let's see here Substitute teacher beats a kid up over the n-word. Hmm. Oh Last time I lost my youtube channel for playing something like this

Yeah, you know that kids that kids family's suing the teacher in the school? The one that stole, that criminal teacher that stole that young man's switch. He defended his property. Yeah, I remember that. He defended the shit out of his property. The teacher wouldn't stop pressing charges or say, can you go easy on this kid? So the family is now suing the school

and the teacher saying that they should have known it was a triggering act. They should have known they were triggering him by stealing his switch, which is 100% true. I mean, I don't know any kid who would like that, who wouldn't get upset about it. Yeah, the little white woman said, hey, should I go take that black guy's video games?

I would say, no, don't do that. Probably not, yeah. Yeah, but he needs to learn about Beowulf. So he didn't need to know about Beowulf. Don't worry about it. No. You need to know about something. Trying to think of... You need to know about something. Trying to think of a... You need to know about,

don't drink your juice in South Central. Don't be a menace in the hood. Well, drinking your juice or whatever it is. Gin and juice, yeah. Gin and juice, yeah. Don't be a menace to society. Yeah, you need to learn a little bit about don't be a menace. Or drinking your gin and juice.

Before you start stealing black guys' video games. Yeah. Here we go. Let's see. Let's get a good look at this one. 27 year old, 27 year old Vegas substitute teacher, Rick Kwan Smith.

What are we watching? Is this like a, what are we watching behind? Why is there like a railing? Is this a, is this a sporting event? Yeah, this is a cage. What? It looks like a fucking gym. Teacher versus student.

Uh, beat up a teenage student. He was charged with battery and assault. Yeah. Is that different from assault and battery? Yeah, because assault is just backwards. He did the battery first. Yeah. and battery yeah because the salt is just oh yeah I mean just why the battery first yeah let's get some good man this is come on look at this little fat kid still wearing his backpack bro let him take his backpack off give him you know give him a fighting chance you're an adult man fighting a child at least say son take the backpack off before we get into

this fight over the n-word yeah kids throwing some wild haymakers he's going he's got the kitten paw style of attack overhead yeah yeah trying to hit the black guys face that's two feet above of him instead of going straight for the, you know, get those ribs, man! Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh! Get him! Get in there! Get in there! Come on! Unh! Get in there like this, hide! Right? Yeah.

This fucking ol'- this big bucks gonna take some swings on your back- on your backpack, bro! Use your backpack for ya! Boom boom boom! If you ever find yourself fighting a substitute teacher over the N-word- Hook to the liver. Yeah, exactly. To the liver. Get in there.

Get in there. Charge him. It's on the right side, so you've got to do it with your left hand, ladies and gentlemen. You dig up in there. It's a crazy thing. Go down. You'll be a fucking hero. It's a crazy thing what happens to your body with a liver shot.

Yeah. Knock that teacher out. Like some delayed reaction. Cause it actually moves your liver into, into a nerve along your spine. Oh really? And there's a huge blood vessel or artery there that one of the things it's, it, it totally dilates. So your blood pressure drops and your legs just go.

Oh. And you like, you literally, you literally can't get up. Oh, so it's not your, it's not a knockout at all. It's just like. No, yeah, and yeah, it's like, it's an incapacitating fucking shot. Like guys with. Left hand? Yeah.

Okay, I gotta work on that. If you see. I gotta start jacking off with my left hand. Like liver shot knockouts, dude, you can fucking, you can hit somebody there. You can go back to your corner. You can have your gloves taken off, your hands unwrapped, that guy's still down

with the right liver shot. It's a devastating fucking punch. Uh. He's fucking standing over him, come on man. Someone kick the shit out of this guy. Seriously. How are you 27? This guy must have got the ever loving shit beat out of him by his dad.

What is this? What could a kid have said? It doesn't matter what he said. I mean what could he have said? Well he said the N-word probably. I'm guessing. He must have said it in a... he must be like Picasso with the N-word, this kid. Better than, yeah. I've heard a lot of N-words in my day. Yeah, you can't, now- Each one is a little different, you know? We're gonna see fucking the civil rights lawyers come out

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So this is saying the kid hit him first? You didn't hear, but I, yeah. I don't know. It might have been justified. The kid was swinging away. Are you fucking retarded? I mean...

No, it's not. You've got to defend yourself if he's trying to wail on your face, but then he... He seemed like he was going above and beyond the call. I don't know. I'll find the whole video, but... Well, it's hard to find because you don't start taping until the shots start flying. That's true. That's true.

Unless there's a buildup with, you know, people yelling at each other and stuff, then definitely some phones are coming out, but. Raquan. Are they ever going to run out of, what happens when black people run out of Kwan names? I don't know. Da Kwan, La Kwan.

I don't know. Are they going to put another Kwan at the end of it? Maybe they could do like the military. Kwan, La Quan, are they gonna put another Quan at the end of it? Maybe they could do like the military Quan, Quan yes Quan. Oh yeah. That's not the same, it sounds Chinese then. Huh. Good times. Oh yeah, here, for allegedly calling him the N-word.

Yeah. Oh man, that's ugly. Oh, slapping him when he's down, come on! Come on. Come on. Aww. Come on. Alright.

Can't hear what he's like. Wish I could hear what the teacher's saying. Should have called him the N-word again on the ground. That's when you really. That shows you really won. Right? I wish I could hear what the teacher's saying. Should have called him in again on the ground. That's when you really... That shows you really won, right? After you get your ass kicked by your teacher. What shows?

Say it again. Oh, say it defiantly. Don't try to beat him up. You can't do that. Okay. Showers are... Oh, God. Performative. New NPR CEO talked about how the color revolutions in Africa should have seized control of the radio stations.

Okay, that's pretty good. Okay. Something, that's something I think an NPR CEO should say. Yeah, but why, what are they? Take over the radio stations to start a color revolution and now she's in charge of the radio station. Yeah. That seems like something N CEO should say. Yeah, but why- what are they- Take over the radio stations to start a color revolution, and now she's in charge of the radio station? That seems like something NPR should say. You've gotta think about what you fucking say

when you're in certain positions. You just- They like that, though! Yeah, I don't know. I know. You gotta drum up the bucks. They're paying for revolution at NPR, aren't they? What are they doing the donations for? Tote bag?

Revolution tote bag. You're better off shooting a dog or beating up a student. Yeah. How come the, why is women saying all this shit? Trump's just saying, gotta grab them by the pussy. They'll let you. And then they're talking about taking over radio stations, doing color revolutions, killing dogs.

Color revolutions. All right, good times. Oh yeah, the Columbia Act is coming to you. Now they got rid of TikTok. So kids aren't going to learn about what's happening. Okay. Right? Because China. Okay. Because you know, it just benefits China so much if no one in America has any money. Yeah. Right? Like if our country is so fucked up that no one can America has any money. Yeah. Right?

Like if our country's so fucked up that no one can buy anything or, you know, basically power the world. There's really benefits. Bipartisan Bill would create anti-Semitism monitors at colleges. Are these like- Like they're TVs that broadcast anti-Semitism all the time. It's pretty cool. I was gonna say, are these actual people who listen for signs of anti-Semitism or-

Bill- bipartisan Bill, they came together for this! Oh, thank God! Thank fucking Christ! Literally! Maybe things aren't as polarized as I think they are. We just gotta phrase everything. I mean, if they can get together on this, they can fix anything. What anything What if I wish maybe Israel can have a big problem with the homeless in LA? Oh, you think they could say like we're we in it. We here at Israel are really

We're really suffering because we really don't like that. There's so many homeless people in LA. You think that would get yeah Hey, let's get on this homeless thing right guys. Let's let the wagons. Pro-Israel House Democrat and Republican plan to introduce, you could have just said Democrat and Republican plan to introduce legislation creating federally sanctioned anti-Semitism monitors for select college campuses. What? Sent third party. Why it matters.

Oh yeah, we all know why it matters. The first bill introduced in Congress is a direct response to the pro-Palestinian protests. Man, these protests are fucking great, dude. Because it's like the... It's the rich people's kids like declaring war on them. Yeah, I know. I have no concept of Israel or Palestine, but they know you are bad.

I don't like you. I've never seen, I never thought that I would see such just outward support for Palestine. For Palestine? Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Because it's just like- Me either.

You know, it's the, there's more and more coverage. There's more and more social media. It's Trump all over again. And people- I don't give a fuck about Trump now. And people are just like- Me either. You know, it's the, there's more and more coverage, there's more and more social media. It's Trump all over again. And people- I don't give a fuck about Trump now. And people are just like, dude, like they're going, they're going way overboard. Like you're, you know, it's, it's the,

the ends justify the means, you know? And like to what end? Yeah, yeah. The bill would allow the Department of Education to send a third-party anti-Semitism monitor to any college that receives federal funding. Oh, ha ha ha! Wow. Well, I mean, that's like a ton of them.

You got like a guy showing up with a Star of David badge. Oh, God. Excuse me! I've made reports of some anti-Semitism here. He has to do that voice legally. So he's a white guy from Poughkeepsie, you know. You know, it's like you got to get pulled. You know, if you get pulled, the cops got to give you a fair chance.

They paint their cars black and white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can see, I'm doing good now. I'm doing good. Cops don't call you dude, right? They have to talk like that. So the anti-Semitism, they have to talk like, oh, hey, you got a lot of anti-Semitism here.

Okay, two guys are introducing. Two guys from New York. College oversight. A Democrat and a Republican. Or the College Oversight and Legal Updates, Mandating Bias Investigations and Accountability Act or Colum- Go fuck yourselves. I hate that fake- that forced name shit.

That acronym shit. And now it's easy with AI. Columb- back? Colum- Columbia. Colum- And Accountability Act. Columbia-uh. Oh, I guess it- oh.

Oh, yeah, look at that. Oh, I guess it, oh. Two A's. Oh, yeah, look at that. Columbia Act. Oh, it is Columbia, yeah. The bill would allow, okay. The monitor paid for by the school. Yeah, forced act, oh yeah, I could have just read the next sentence

instead of just looking at the, and then missing a word, that's funny. Yeah, the Columbia Act. Would be charged with releasing a public quarterly report evaluating the progress that a college or university has made toward combating anti-semitism. You get quarterly anti-semitism reports? Like the US news and world report. What are you looking at? I'm getting some interference from a

I don't know if it's a phone. It's gone now. Yeah. And then they're rolling that out to companies I bet after they tested at college Well Microsoft's annual they do the earnings report and then they do the anti-semitism report right okay pretty good earnings report Let's get to the let's get to the good stuff. Is it a rating rating system based on like shekels or Two and a half million or what? It's like two and a half. It starts at six million. Oh, God.

Then you get it down. You try to reduce what kind of, it's a Holocaust impact report. How much would your, would your initiatives had affected the Holocaust? Oh, we saved at least two or three. Monitor. It's, you know. The bill was first reported by Jewish insider. Jewish insider.

What they're saying. Wow. My office and I have spoken with countless Jewish students from campuses across America It's, you know. The bill was first reported by Jewish insider. Jewish insider. What they're saying, my office and I have spoken with countless Jewish students from campuses across America who feel deeply unsafe, purely as a result of their religious and ethnic identity. Jewish students have told my office that they feel completely abandoned by their university administrators, that they view Congress as the only avenue for accountability and safety.

What about all the anti-white shit that's been happening forever? I mean... Like you could have a whole club on, I want to cut white men's cocks off, and everyone's like, ha ha ha ha. But see, but it always has to do with who is capable of oppressing who. It doesn't matter what it is. It's the fact that... Who is capable of oppressing Jews?

Okay, but I'm just saying, but they're still a minority in this country. I guess. So it doesn't matter how much power a group has, if they're less than, if they're the smaller percentage, they can always be looked at as either the victims or the potential victims. And that's why you're not allowed to do things that might look like that. If you're-

You gotta have a whole monitor, a whole anti-semitism report. This is, you know. The bill, yeah. At least 10 house members, including these fucking clowns. Alright, that's cool. Well, good luck. Good luck. Good luck is right.

Good luck with the anti-semitism. Good luck to all of us. I hope that works out for you. Let's see, here's a... Here's a survey on gay shit. It says, rest assured your son is alright. Okay. Gen Z's, what a strange way to phrase that, Gen Z's LGBT explosion is driven by girls pretending to be bisexual.

They're not pretending. is driven by girls pretending to be bisexual. They're not pretending. They get aroused by every type of sex women get aroused by. The 75% in this survey that say they're not bisexual are lying. Wow, look at this. High school boys who identify as gay, 2.4% and 2.8%. So boys have grown by almost nothing. Look at that.

High school girls who identify as bisexual, 10% to 25%. They've two and a half times what it was six years before. Wow. That is women figuring out how to be bigger cock teases. How to increase their sexual market value. How to trick guys at an earlier and earlier age because of access to the internet. I have women too, I don't have to be with you.

Yeah, yeah. Or you guys like that? You guys like lesbians and stuff? Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm that. I'm bisexual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. You're not, are you? No. Yeah, right, right. I am, big time. Big time. Yeah. How about you, you know, how about a little something?

How about a little heart for the effort? Right on. Yeah, cool. Interesting. So no, don't worry. The boys aren't becoming gayer. Yeah. That was a big issue.

I mean, I would think that would be probably statistically insignificant. I mean, I don't know how many. 24%? I mean, I don't know how, you know, I don't know how many people or whatever, but yeah. It seems about right, two, 3% of guys. Well, also who identifies, even in six years,

it has become more acceptable to... So, you know, maybe... Even with all of it pumped, even with all this shit pumped in their face, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, you gotta be gay, you gotta be gay, you gotta be gay, they're like, no, I'm not gay. Yeah, I'm no, I'm no gayer than I was before. Yeah, maybe a little bit. A couple guys, maybe I'm gay.

Women are pretty fat. No, no, no, that's not what we meant. I mean, again, you know, identify as gay. I mean, there's, you think back, you know, 50, 60 years, it's like, you just didn't come out, you know, and then or some people came out when they were like 60, you know, I don't know, man. My, my grandpa, um, he was gay. He's in World War II. And I asked him about, like in the nineties, I asked him, like, what about gays in the military? When you were, um, like in the 90s, I asked him, like, what about gays in the military when you were a kid? He's like, oh, we knew who they were.

Yeah, he goes, yeah, they just kept it to themselves. They just did their own gay shit. Yeah. I'm sure, I'm sure, you know, it wasn't like a secret at all. I'm sure they were identified, you know, I mean, it's like where you're like, yeah, probably. They just didn't have their own flag, I guess. Probably is, yeah. So they're too busy having fun. Right. Where you're like, yeah, probably. They just didn't have their own flag, I guess. Probably is, yeah.

So they're too busy having fun. Right. As soon as they let lesbians in, then it's, oh, we need like flags and uniforms and stuff. Like, oh god, fuck off. Uh, okay. Let's see here. Oh, this is a... More gay shit. Oh, jeez.

Oh yeah, this is the one, this is the study I was looking for. What's that? With teachers. This is a figure from the Danish study showing that grades, showing the grades of kids before and after an increase of eight hours of school per week.

So they added eight hours of school. So like an hour plus a day, basically. God, that's a lot. They added eight more hours of school. A week, yeah. Yeah, for kids. To see what effect it would have on their grades and the effect was absolutely nothing. Yeah. Well. None. Yeah. So. So they just put kids in jail. Yeah. For eight more hours. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Fun. Here we go. God.

This is Disneyland. This is what a family saw at Disneyland. They went to, oh, Disney World. Mm-hmm. And the Snow White Queen was being played by a man maybe? So they're all pissed off that they got a drag queen or whatever I don't know playing the evil queen from Snow White, which is, I guess, you're really not the fairest. You shouldn't have been asking the fairest of them all in the land question at all.

You know what's funny is that this person looks and sounds quite a bit like the queen. She had a very authoritative voice. Well, because it's a guy. Yeah. I never hear a woman talking like that. But if you want- Right, but in the movie. Oh, yeah.

You know? In the movie. So it's like- Look at that fucking hand though. Jeez. The Queen shouldn't be expressing like an Italian. Definitely not if you're a man. Right.

To- Get the hands down. Right. Maybe get some like, uh, prosthetic hands of a woman that you could go like this. Remove the knuckle hair. It's actually-

Fuck your trip to Disneyland! It's actually pretty good casting. It is! I agree! I love this! But I see where, you know, some people, some people can have a problem with it. Why you think a little kid is gonna go, what the fuck is going on here? What the fuck? I bet I bet some little kids ago boy like that the Queen the Queen looked funny or so like I don't know it

Funny yeah, I've had a big cock. What was it? Was that magic but we'll play it again You were my favorite evil queen. Oh my god. Okay, yeah. He's not playing the character, he's just playing a drag queen. Correct. I love me too. That's not what an evil bitch would say.

That's not what she sounded like. The voice range is like that. But no, right, playing a drag queen. Yeah, that's like a drag queen joke. You're 100% right. I don't care. It's just not... Yeah, no, but it's...

You would think they'd be more... Make one bell, come on! Yeah. Let's have a whole trans up the fucking... I don't know if it's trans or not. That's hard, too. It could just be a man. Yeah. You know? Right. Right. I don't know if it's trans or not. That's it hard to it could just be a man Yeah, you know, right?

Right. I don't know All up and down Trans woman or perhaps drag queen that is all drag queens talk just like that About how like like I mean just just the tone of voice. Yeah. like, out of control narcissism is like a joke. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You are my favorite evil queen. Oh my God. It must be hard for Disney to try and juggle

the cash cow of fat women that they make all their money from versus appealing to new fat women and kids. Cause they gotta balance it, right? Like a smoking company. They gotta appeal to young smokers with the princess shit, you know, Moana, you're welcome, normal shit. And then they gotta appeal to big fat white women with crazy shit.

It's hard for those two to, it's hard to mix those two because big fat white women and children should have nothing in common and have and have only competing interests of total selfishness and insanity. It's very difficult to combine. You can combine kids shit with men's shit. No problem. Yeah. Jungle gyms, you know, going outside, breaking stuff, messing stuff up. True. No problem. They both fart. Both love it. Yeah. But big fat white women,

they both want to eat for themselves. They don't want to make any food. They just want to eat it all. This side wants drag queens, drag queen, queen, whatever, Snow White. Yeah. This side wants their mom looking like the evil step witch. Whatever, you know?

Very, the fat, big fat women, big fat white women want their dad to be the evil witch. Got it. It's very conflicting, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's unsolvable. Yeah, this, you know, that's a little weird. You'd classify that as a little weird.

It was a meet and greet, that's what it was. Now they gotta pay big bucks to meet these people pretending to be the characters. Okay. Bisexual, four more years, kids at school, yeah I did all that. Oh, we could watch this abortion ad. Oh boy. Or, oh no, climate change, that's. No boy. Or, uh, oh, no climate change. That's a good one.

Oh, well then I'll read some comments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want to abortion ad or climate change effects? Gay people. No abortion ad has got to watch the abortion ad. Breaking Gavin Newsom just released a new ad saying Trump is going to order abortion ad.

Breaking Gavin Newsom just released a new ad saying Trump is going to order police to stop women crossing state lines and force them to take pregnancy tests. Sounds a little- Let's see this ad. It says state line one mile. Who the fuck- who directed this? State line- Get down under the tarp in the back. It's beer brand beer. State line, one mile. Okay.

Oh no. We're almost there. You're gonna make it. Oh God. Trump Republicans want to criminalize young Alabama women who travel for reproductive care. Yes, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle, take a pregnancy test. Stop them by taking action at RightToTravel.org. She's arrested! The Campaign for Democracy group is responsible for the content of this advertisement.

Look at her face! Is that a... Help me! She's saying help me! Is that a newsome group? Is it legislation that's put forward allegedly by someone in Alabama? Yeah, all these fuckers are

nuts with abortion. They're fucking crazy. Because the other side is like, oh you guys are talking about abortion? We'll pay you $100,000 to abort your kid over here. Oh, okay. Yeah. Man, look at that beautiful...

Two for one with a dog. Bring your dogs to the Republican states. We'll shoot them for free. You bring your kids over here, we'll shoot them. Win-win. We're almost there. I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and take a pregnancy test.

I love that, he's just, yeah. It's a great ad. That's a great ad. So he pulled over, why did he, he just pulled over because there are two women? Because there are two white women? Well that I support. Two women should be, if two women are in a car,

you gotta pull that shit over. I just pulled you over randomly because you're two white women. Looked possibly of the breeding age. You're glowing, you have that pregnancy glow about you. Right. Pulled you over randomly because you're two white women. Looked possibly of the, uh, the breeding age. You're glowing. You have that pregnancy glowed about you. Right. Pulled you over.

You have that murder in the eyes look. You've been drinking today ma'am? I didn't think so. It's hilarious. I'm almost there. You're gonna make it. God. That's fucking, that's hilarious.

How is she not texting while she's driving? That's not funny. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I'm not texting while she's driving. I That's fucking, that's hilarious. How's she not texting while she's driving?

Trump Republicans want to criminalize young Alabama women who travel for reproductive care. Miss, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle, take a pregnancy test. Oh man. Stop by taking action. That's insane. You guys are not gonna, you're not gonna win if you're fighting an ad war with California. That's insane.

Not gonna happen. That's insane. And you know what's fucking crazy? I'll bet you that in my lifetime, legislation goes through that's crazier than that. Oh yeah. For sure. Um, well we'll have... Have to check inside your asshole. legislation goes through that's crazier than that. Oh yeah. For sure. Well, we'll have... Have to check inside your ass hole. We'll have race-based taxes sooner than everyone thinks.

Explicit ones, not like just effectively race-based taxes. We'll have explicit, if you're white, you have to pay a white tax. Might even be called, it'll be called all capital letters white. And it'll stand for some acronym. Oh, of course. Like White House, interference, terrorism. You will never see more people rushing to take DNA tests

than at that point. To prove that they're white so they can pay it. Cause that's what white people. Yeah. People talk about pronouns in the bio, like that if you have pronouns in your bio on Twitter, you're like all your opinions are shit. But if you have white and Christian in your bio or Catholic,

you will see simping the likes of which you have never seen for women or Israel or possibly both. In every single post. You will never see me fight harder to prove that Italians are not white. fight harder to prove that Italians are not white. I'm claiming every bit of that heritage and it is definitely, definitely not white. Billy Eilish says fuck whales. What a stupid, like, I'm so random shit that was. I don't care about that.

Oh, let's read comments. Okay, okay. Fuck all this news shit. They banned TikTok and TikTok said, ah, fuck, go fuck yourselves. Oh, who did? The government. They said you gotta sell it. You gotta sell it to one of our guys. That sounds right.

Who's financed by a place, doesn't matter. Yeah, okay. You gotta sell TikTok from China. They said, nah, we don't care. Okay. That's, what you guys have said is retarded. Yeah. So we're not going to do it.

Animal Corner asked. Oh, okay. Here we go. Sean's Animal Corner. When squirrels get hot, they will lay down flat and spread out on their front, usually on dirt or concrete, in order to cool down quickly. This is called spluding. Did you know that?

Well, spluding is what they... Everybody talks about dog splutes. My dog splutes. So you did know that. Yeah, that's a cooling thing. I didn't fucking know that. I mean, I knew they did that. I didn't know it was called spluding.

Spluding, I think, is just a cutesy term they coined for... I don't know that there was a term... That's not even a fact then. That's just like trivia. I don't know that that's actually used by like biologists for how... You don't think they use that? I don't... I've never heard it that way, but it's definitely a way to cool down your, you know... Weiner.

Everything, yeah, I mean. GayGingers on Twitter says, hey, look at what Airbnb has for fat people. Okay, let's see. Fat watch today in fat news. Whoops. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Let's see what they have.

Okay, great. I fucked up the link. Uh, okay. Gingers. From outer space. There we go. Hey, look at what Airbnb has for fat people. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Guest entrance. Step-free guest entrance, okay, because you got a wheelchair, so you can't do it. Step-free path to guest entrance, like a ramp. Guest entrance wider than 32 inches, that's gotta be a wheelchair thing, right? Yeah.

Yeah, all right, all right. We'll give the fat people a pass on that one. Steven says that dude could be telling the truth about the balls, that guy, that picture of that guy with his testicles and jars. Right, right. They just got him removed. I said it's fake.

That guy could be telling the truth about his balls. The surgeon let my wife take her balls home. Who, you ready for this one? Yeah. Okay, here we go, here we go. Now, Steven, wasn't he, wasn't he transitioning and then not? Do we ever, we talked to him at one, like early on in the show, right?

I can't show this because it has names on it. Those are, those are testicles in a jar. Yeah. Huh. There you go. They each get their own separate jar. Yeah. Huh. There you go. They each get their own separate jar. I don't want that. I want them to be together. They're always going to be apart now,

like reaching at each other through the jars. They're like betas. They're like Siamese fighting fish. You can't put them together. Another animal fact. They'll kill each other. They can look at each other. Look at each other, but yeah.

So they get everyone's balls together, like at Petco? Put them on a big shelf? Yeah. The Betta fish shelf? Yeah. One to a container, that's it. Or you get a bunch of dead balls. Oh God.

Okay, well, okay, so apparently it was true then. What's wrong with me? Why would I doubt that? I mean, I don't know. You know, well, I mean, you think is there any type of whatever solution they're putting them in would probably be maldahide. Well, yeah, that's, no, no, no. They switched. Carousel for something like that.

Yeah, like they, probably more dangerous than just the balls. I don't know. Maybe they're making fucking Christmas tree ornaments. Who the fuck knows? They're making Rocky Mountain oysters, you think? Oh, man. You think we could get a whole Christmas tree

of guys' balls? Like, that's a reality. That's an art piece. Probably not even that shocking. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Now take that, Mapplethorpe. Dasterdly Dan says,

Israeli guy goes to kick a Palestinian flag and it was a landmine, okay, let's see. Oh God. That's funny so the Palestinians do have humor I mean they set up a pretty hilarious booby trap that's if this is real courageous Israeli puts the Palestinian flag in its place okay oh boy love to see that get that you see that flag out there I'm gonna go fucking puts the Palestinian flag in its place, okay? Oh boy. Love to see that. Get that, you see that flag out there?

I'm gonna go fucking show this flag. Who's boss? You motherfuckers. He's walking out there. And then... Cause they put it on a... Cause they put it in a meadow or something? Fuck. And then he explodes.

No way that's real. She'd be screaming. No way. Yeah, I mean... Let me see that. Here he goes marching over there. I'm a manly woman. I mean... Is that all it takes for them to win?

They just gotta put booby-trapped flags over? It's really... At least, don't go kick the flags over don't if I see one of those flags I'm gonna kick it over don't yeah Mmm. I am gonna okay Good god What Not sure what's going on there. Man. If it is fake, I hope the person would come out and say like, yeah, that was me.

That was a cool comedy video that I made. Something, yeah. Wild. Okay, well, we don't know anymore. Hey, Dick, check this out. Makeamom.com. Makeamom.com. And his nigh. Okay, Dick, check this out. Makeamom.com. Makeamom.com. And his ni. Okay, let's see here.

Like build a bear. Make a mom. Is that what word? Conceived without intercourse. Oh, great. They finally figured out a way to get rid of us completely. At home. Makeamom.com, it's a...

Jesus Christ. Can see without intercourse. What the hell was that? Does this lady have stumps for feet? Or is this a butt? Oh yeah. Why are they... Oh, okay, they're just her pregnant stomach.

Makeamom-mom.com What? Is this real? Fuck you. It's like an artificial insemination kit. At home. It's got a plunger here. I don't know what this is. Seamen?

A lot of semen. It's like a fucking, they got a turkey baster and some sort of suspenders. It's all purple. Like I mean it's fashionable. Is that, does that turn them on? I don't know. Is that a turn on? Okay there's like a... Their vision is based on the color purple.

They've got a latex or a, what is this material? That rubber? I mean, I don't know. And the syringe goes in that. I would be concerned about like, you know, sterility or what? I mean, not that way, but I mean, wouldn't you want, I mean, I don't know. I guess sanitized. I have never been concerned about the sanity of what I'm showing in a woman's vagina don't know, I guess sanitized. I have never been concerned about the sanity

of what I'm showing in a woman's vagina. I guess that's true. I wouldn't put my mouth on it, but. I guess, okay. Insert, inject, impregnate. No, don't do any of those things. Conceive without intercourse, bring sperm closer to the egg, high success rate.

Yeah, because I mean, like IVF and stuff is like crazy expensive, right? Super expensive, yeah. So... You know, because it works. Is this for... I don't know. Is this for fat chicks? Why would it...

Is this for people who can't have sex? Because some people are so fat now that they can't have sex. So they need all kinds of like, aids to reproduce. It could be for ugly people too. I don't know. Well, I guess yeah, there's a lot of ugly people too. Inter cervical insemination by makeamom.com. Wow.

Naturally and safely conceived, designed for couples or single use. Single use. It was designed? Designed for couples or something? Can they both get pregnant? They both get pregnant? I can get pregnant too? Oh shit! Wow, that's a hell of a design!

Should we do the couple one tonight or just say oh no thanks I'm full? Says couples are single. What's it gonna be? Conceived without intercourse. Help sperm reach the egg. Okay. High success rate. Okay. I don't believe any of that shit. Wow.

Ew. Oh man. It's like a, look at this. It's like a bike air pump. Like a tire pump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cram that shit in. Once you work-

There's cervix in their fucking head. How much, how much, Where's their cervix in their fucking head? How much magic inseminating wand do you need here? Don't spill a drop! No. The precious, precious seed. Ew. Washable, allowing for unlimited attempts at conception.

Oh, okay. Wow. They have one for irregular sperm. I mean, this is like pretty in depth for a joke. So I'm going with it's real. It's gotta be real. It's gotta be for fat people, man. Silicone. Okay. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what you're talking.

Yeah, not latex, right? Well, God damn. Low quality sperm can become more effective when it's held in place. Oh, you gotta hold those little fuckers? Wait, wait, wait, is that an ad? Is that an ad right in the middle of the page? This? Yeah. Oh, but not, not... Oh, oh, it's actually, oh, it's not an ad on their fucking...

No, no, no, it's an ad for themselves. Irregular sperm. Why are they playing this weird Africa music with all the semen going in the fallopian tubes? I think it's... No, it's the... It's like Goethe's song, I think. Oh, it is? I think so.

It's not appropriate. Yeah. Reviews. Oh, wow. This bitch got... pregnant. Wow. Did she. Animated GIF of it. Right. That's cool.

Okay. Alright, well. Good times. Good times. Glad that exists. Did they use, did they really use a turkey baster back before they had weird internet shit? No idea. To provide on? Hmm. use a turkey baster back before they had weird internet shit? No idea. Alien Ted says, peak woman posting slash schizo posting. Hey, Dick, don't mention my name on the show, but I found something that you might like.

Check out this Mandela effect Facebook group. Do you know of the Mandela effect? I do, yeah. It's all posts from women saying they forgot where they left their keys and blaming it on the supernatural. Okay, let's see. What are you ladies talking about?

Like this gem, she forgets she has oatmeal at home. Oh yeah, hold on, I downloaded this. Okay. Oh, did I not? Uh, maybe here. Oh yeah, okay. This is the Mandela Effect group. This is the Mandela Effect group.

Not sure, she says, not sure if this is the Mandela Effect or I may be going crazy? I'm at the grocery store buying some oatmeal. I see these two new kinds I've never seen before. I buy them and go home to go to put them away and there are two of the exact same kinds of oatmeal Already on my shelf. No, they made those flavors. I guess huh? She got so excited about buying oatmeal and then bought two more out meals That's the Mandela effect forgetting that you bought oatmeal. Yeah That's wonderful that this was me for you. Yeah, okay.

Okay. What was the other, what's this other one? Uh, so question. Sometimes while driving, it's like I'm not sure where I go. That's obvious. Sometimes while driving, it's like I'm not sure where I go. Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm not as well driving. It's like, I'm not sure where I go. Couldn't have said it better myself.

You're driving like you're not sure where I go. Yeah. God, it just zones out. Like when I get to my destination, it's almost like I don't remember the drive at all. Yeah. Does anyone else experience this or have you ever? You're thinking about, you're probably just thinking about other stuff and it's probably a place

you go all the time. I know I left the store and the next thing I'm home and have no recollection of the drive. Am I a time traveler? Am I a teleporter? It's actually scary to me it's scary to all of us. Yeah. This association while driving or something else maybe I'm losing it lol just want just wondering if anyone else ever has experienced this. Yeah, it's called a car crash. Yeah. It's why this phenomenon is why your insurance rates are where they are. Okay. I just got

a job with State Farm when I called my husband to tell him the radio was on in the background and a freaking State Farm commercial came on. Just little things like that are always happening to me. Oh god. Oh yeah. They're such a fucking nightmare. Right. I just bought a new car and now I realize that everybody just bought the same car. These little reminders are what dating someone new is like. You got to tolerate this shit and listen to this shit. I have always really noticed numbers that are relevant to my life sticking out like a sore thumb. or what dating someone new is like. You gotta tolerate this shit and listen to this shit.

I have always really noticed numbers that are relevant to my life sticking out like a sore thumb. Also patterns, like cars, five blue cars in a row. Three white trucks parked next to each other. This is why you don't remember driving home because you're counting the colors of cars. Yeah, exactly, or you're in the Truman Show. Three white trucks parked next to each other?

Yeah, okay, now that's weird. She was at the post office. Is anybody else weirdly hyper aware of things like that? Yeah, you all are. Yeah. It's the damnedest thing. And five-year-olds, women and five-year-olds are really, quote, hyper aware of the colors of cars around them. Like autism or something. Yeah, that car's red. Yeah. That's great, honey. See how many red cars you can... Count them. Yeah, count them. That'd be great. But can you do it quietly? Yeah.

Uh, okay, I think we already saw this one. My opinion on the Mandela effect is that we sometimes go through T-H-R-E-W, dimensionally pulls, dimensionally pulls my words. No shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Is this supposed to be Me-shell or May-shell? May-shell. This doesn't even, this resembles like, if you go to a museum and you look at like a written document from the 1400s and you're like, this is just, it looks like fucking gibberish, right?

That's what this is. My words, where we go between dimensions, being pulled back and forth, depending on our vibrations. This is my theory. Depending on our vibrations. This is my theory. Depending on our vibrations, this is my theory. This is some of the worst fucking writing I think I've ever seen. This is based on things I have read and studied.

Yeah. And my own experiences and spiritual awareness. What's your take on it? 12 comments. Do you think any of the 12 comments were you are retarded? No, I'll bet none of them were. Probably, because everyone's so spiritually aware.

God, that's my fucking brain hurts from trying to- Mandela, in fact. Okay. Good times. Johnny says the infinity shoes. Check these out, okay? Sounds pretty cool. Infinity shoes? Infinity shoes. Infinity out, okay. Sounds pretty cool. Infinity shoes? Infinity shoes. Infinity shoes, okay. See what these are about. Shoe, disposable cardboard emergency shoes.

New Orleans based, okay. Well, cuz like you don't want to wear shoes in New, you have to. You have to throw them away. It's so fucking filthy. So this guy has designed a shoe, a disposable cardboard shoe. Yeah. Look at this. Oops, sorry. I got it. This young entrepreneur has designed a cardboard shoe that is disposable.

It straps around your ankles. It looks cool. You know what? I love it. Not the dumbest idea. For walking around really disgusting areas and then your shoes shoes gotta be you're going to a nice place But you're walking in a disgusting area. Yeah, I get some infinity shoes on yeah, I'm not messing up my good shoes, dude Oh, here's where he gets jacked for the infinity shoes

See run he's gonna run it's gonna do some that right are they fast enough for a black man these shoes He ran right out of his shoes. Oh Fast enough for a black man these shoes? He ran right out of his shoes. Oh wow, you can run in them? Not bad. Wow. This is better. This black guy has invented.

This is not even close to the worst invention I've ever seen. This is better than everything I've ever seen come out of Google and Apple. They're recording sunglasses that suck. They're VR display that does not show pornography. I kind of want to support this guy. Me too I need these fucking infinity shoes. We got to get a pair, right? Look at this. It's just a it's just a pattern on cardboard. Yeah. That he's designed That you fold in this weird origami pattern. Yeah into actual shoes The more I see it the more I like it this is incredible

Washington carver of shoes this guy. Yeah of cardboard George Washington cardboard. Yeah of cardboard. George Washington cardboard. Yeah. He invented a thousand uses for cardboard, not the cardboard box. Everything else. Yeah. Shoes. Right. A woman. Okay, buddy, let's see. Welcome back to Infinity Shoes. Oh, he's faded, dude. Look at this dude. I would hope so, inventing cardboard shoes. A lot of people talk, a lot of people in disbelief. They don't think this shoe can hold up against a run. Guess what? I already ran in it several times. Played sports and football and basketball.

I already know the capabilities of it. I know y'all don't. I know it's hard to believe. It was hard to believe for me at first, when I first created it. But I'm going to run for y'all tomorrow. Tomorrow's the day, the big day. He has a fucking infinity shoe shirt that's all gold? Why's Eric July get so much money?

This guy gets nothing. I know. Come on, man. I like it. In the meantime, hot am I. Oh, wow. I could see if you're walking in a shit area. Yeah.

And you've got a business meeting to go to. You can't avoid it. Emergency, you got an emergency. I suppose you could just wear some shitty shoes and change them when you're there. Ah! You shouldn't have to change yourself for the environment though.

When you have something like the infinity shoe. You're selling me. Look at the simple pattern. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's actually like, kind of. Complicated. Yeah. Not pattern. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's actually like- Really? Kind of- Complicated.

Yeah. Not simple. Yeah. And then it folds into this goofy. That is definitely a very, very stoned idea. Cardboard shoes? Yeah, yeah. But he did it.

I know. Well, that's the, that's usually what happens. The follow through doesn't happen, but he did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did it somehow. He must have popped some Adderall after. Is this fucker really making these? Somebody made that!

Yeah. Okay. Got like, internal support. You see the connector on the inside? Um, you see the double... Alright, the soap, the mechanism all in place. Seems pretty complicated actually. It looks pretty complicated! It can be fastened just how it is, you see?

Oh, it's got all these trans-sizes onto it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course it opens up. Is this guy a genius or is he retarded, do you think? It's a very, there's very fine line between the two. You're fine line, I gotta try a pair. If you want, like I said, right out the box. They are the box.

They are the box, yeah. Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, it's a, you know, I guess I could see, yeah, I would like to try those. I guess I could see certain situations, I would like to try those. I guess I could see certain situations. I would probably be actually more inclined to wear like some old shoes or something. And then-

Yeah, but I bet women would hate seeing these. But then you do gotta, you gotta, cause these you could just, right before you go in, you could just toss them in the garbage can. That's a power move. Cause who cares if you, you know, if you get a little dirty when you come out, you've already, you've already made the sale, you know?

Yeah. Because of your nice clean shoes. Yeah, it's like those, like those, when you have to put like little booties on your shoes when you go into like a photography studio or something. Yeah, or a hospital or something. Hospital, yeah. It's like that, but for everything else. Yeah.

You go outside. Well, let me put my shoes on, put some Infinity shoes on. Right. On top of that. You could run in them. Yeah. You go outside. Well, let me put my shoes on. And my. Put some Infinity shoes on. Right. On top of that. You could run in them. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't have thought they would have stayed on his feet running like that.

Mr. Meatball says, not that this is new, but it's officially taxpayer funded, the Office of Diversity, Equity, and, oh, diversity.defense.gov. No. Ha, are you serious? OK. Diversity.defense.gov. Diversity defense? That's something I would like to see.

It's down? Too much diversity. Office for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. It's a white general shaking hands with a young black Air Force woman. This guy's grinning like a fucking doofus over here. Good for you. Latina old cleaning lady here for some reason. They're both smiling like they're not allowed to show teeth, you know, or I mean the white guy and the...

They're really proud of themselves. As the demographic makeup of the American population continues to evolve, it's imperative that the Department of Defense focus its efforts on emerging talent. the Department of Defense focus its efforts on emerging talent, talent, to ensure that we successfully attract, recruit, develop and retain a highly skilled total force capable of meeting current and future money waste projects. Yeah, well, they just wanna be able to pull

from the ever-changing pool, you know? You gotta get these people fucked up for their lives too, you know? Welcome to ODEI. Oh! Office for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is an organization aligned under the office of the Undersecretary of Defense, Personnel and Readiness that develops and executes diversity management and equal opportunity. What is this? What are we doing here?

It's corporate speak. A corporation that makes nothing. It's like pretend business. Yeah. Not even some cardboard shoes. These people in some cardboard. Look at this. All these ladies. He's got to go people in some cardboard. Look at this, all these ladies have nice uniforms.

He's gotta go by George Washington Cardboard, come on. Black guys making cardboard shoes, trying to make a buck. Meanwhile, we got billions of dollars being spent on trying to give these dummies free money. What is that patch that the authority figure, no, the authority figure is wearing on his shoulder. This little sun-kissed racer's patch?

Yeah, what is it? I don't know what that is. What is this? I've never seen that. It's very odd to be on like kind of an olive drab, you know, coat like that, right? And only one. Usually these fuckers have like a million patches. Yeah, well, I don't know.

What is that little patch? Or is that just, is that the officer of that, you know, is he a representative? Is that their patch for that office? Diversity? They have a diversity patch? Or whatever. Yeah, like that's... Probably.

It's a brand new day. I guess. Uh, okay. Well, that's cool. Salty Bird says, what's up buddies? I heard, has Sean heard of Jacob Collier and seen his reinvention of the guitar with his five strings tuned to D, A, E, A, and D.

Great show as always Captain Dick Beard is hilarious. I've heard of him. I can't say that I've seen him play. Okay. Yeah. What did you think when you heard it? I didn't hear it. I don't know. I heard it. You've heard of him. Yeah, I've heard of him. What did you think when you heard it? I didn't hear it. I don't know. I heard. I've read. Yeah, I've heard of him. You heard of him that I don't sound like he's like an interesting guy who's, you know, you're new take. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Haven't somebody tried that before? Like how's this? You're only figuring out. Yeah. But five strings. I mean, I don't know. He's just playing different probably different voicings or there's like, what does it sound? Oh, wow.'t know, you're just playing different, probably different voicings. Like what is the sound? Oh wow, you went diddley doodle-a-doo instead of diddley diddley diddley. Yeah, you know, I don't know. I don't know, I'll have to listen.

You'll have to listen. You'll have to listen. Let us know what you think. Okay. We're fucking going nuts over here. Yeah. It's Shawn's Guitar Talk. All right.

I get a lot of emails actually. Not a lot for me. People like guitar talk. I'm not really sure why. It's just fun listening to someone who knows a lot about something. That doesn't happen. We're used to hearing like a fat lesbian talk about how kids should know they're bisexual. That's nothing.

That's someone who knows nothing about nothing. Wait, I'll do, you know what? I'll do a quick one. Okay. I was reading about, you know, I've mentioned these guitars on the show before. So the most collectible, the most valuable production guitar ever made electric

guitar is the, what they call the, the Gibson Les Paul bursts. And that is a sunburst Les Paul standard made between 1958 and 1960. They made as best estimates somewhere around 1400 of them. They don't know because the logs are missing partially from those years. Some of them are the actual, the-

How many we made of this? Yeah, how many we made, they have the shipping logs, but they don't all differentiate whether they were gold tops or sunburst in like 58. So whatever, 1400. They've been collectible since they stopped making them in 1960. A few years later, mainly British guitarists, a couple American guitarists picked them up and started using them. That's when rock and roll started to get loud. People started to go overdriven tones. You crank up the amps and all of a sudden these guitars that failed at the time because they were people were playing cleaner, used more for jazz or country. They didn't do

they didn't do well. They revamped it with what became the SG model in 1961 like a picture Angus Young's guitar. They used to call that a Les Paul, until Les Paul said, that thing's fucking hideous, take my fucking name off of it. So they call it the SG. But-

Have you ever seen him play, Les Paul? Not in person, no. I have. No. It was cool. He was an old guy. He was an old guy. He had that weekly thing at the Iridium Club

in New York. New York, yeah. Yeah, that's where I saw him. Yeah, you know, when I toldium Club in New York. Yeah, that's where I saw him. When I started playing guitar and I've been, I heard, after Hendrix, I heard Zeppelin and I was like, I need a Les Paul. I mentioned that around my grandma and she goes,

I know Les Paul. I went like, well, I know he's a guy, but it's a guitar model. Now she goes, no, no, no, I called him Uncle Les. Cause he was a friend of, he used to come over. Yeah, oh yeah. That was, you know, but her father was a composer and conductor, conducted the orchestra of NBC radio

in New York and then LA. He knew all those, all those. So yeah, literally like he used to come over for dinner regularly. Like it was like, oh yeah, it was Uncle Les. But anyway, a little aside, I thought, shit, okay, why can you get me a Les Paul? But so they've been collectible since the 60s,

certainly since the 70s. At one time they were just used guitars and then like guitar, people like Clapton, Richards, Mike Bloomfield, Jimmy Page, of course. A lot of people started to play them. People could thought, fuck, these are amazing for what these guys are doing with them. So in the 70s, they actually started getting

pretty collectible. By the 80s, and this is just to kind of show you what kind of luxury items, how much things have just shifted versus salaries. These are luxury items, right? Nobody needs a fucking burst, right? Be nice to have. I don't know, maybe I do need it.

1984, I saw the numbers broken down. They were very collectible in the 80s. Yeah. They cost about between a quarter and one third of the average household income. Oh, wait, what? Pretty expensive, right? In the 80s.

Yeah. They now cost four and a half to five times as much as the average household. How much is that? That's like a Parthenon amount of measurement. What's the average household income? Now? 50 grand? Well, it depends on the state, but yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, something like that. Now they cost $250,000? Oh, more. More. That same guitar. Oh, what? It's not, there was one, when I went to Nashville, there was one in a rumble seat for 520 grand.

Ah! It was a 59, and it was not mint. You know, but the Polar Riff. Are they playing them? Do people buy these guitars? All depends. A lot of them are in collections. A lot of them do get played,

but a lot of them went to Japan. There's some big collectors in America who, yeah, put them away. Gibson themselves has but a lot of them went to Japan. There's some big collectors in America who put them away. Gibson themselves has bought a bunch of them and put them away in their archives. So yeah, I mean, but it's, isn't it? It's just crazy how, you know, it's like this. This one I'm looking at. Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of the sunburst center,

but the old ones, the red dye used to fade. So they end up all kinds of much cooler colors. And now they actually make finishes to make it look like the red has faded in those guitars. Some of them are just kind of amber, but they're cool. They're called honey bursts or tea bursts. But they were all supposed to be cherry sunburst when they came out of the factory.

1960, they used a red that didn't fade. People call them tomato soup. They do look like tomato soup. Yeah, the real- That one. Yeah, that one right there. 500 bucks there. Yeah, that's an epiphone, but yeah.

But it's wild how it went from like a quarter to a third, the mean income to four and a half to five times the mean income. It's a half to five times the mean income. It's a lot of fucking money. I don't know. It's just, it's insane. I just thought it was interesting that it changed that much. That's a lot.

Yeah. They can't make more of them. All the wood's gone. There's a lot of fake. There's a lot of fakes. Just like in the art world, you know, like it's... Yeah. And in the Pokemon world.

Mm-hmm. Magic the Gathering world. Vito ripped this card up because he had, he used a microscope to determine that it was, it was fake. And then I think when he ripped it, it's black on the inside instead of blue. That's a fake magic card?

Yeah. Like, so it's, because some are collectible obviously, right? Oh, yeah. How was he, did he know it before he ripped it in half? He took it home and looked at it in a microscope and I guess you could tell that the printing is all fucking weird. Yeah there's always yeah there's usually tells but I think every vintage guitar store in this country has has bought a fake Les Paul standard before. Nobody's been unscathed. They usually catch it

fairly quick but usually it's offered for sale, and then somebody goes That route is a little like I've never seen one like that. Yeah, there's a lot of people can just tell it seems like yeah Vito could tell he said they can tell they can tell until they can't yeah like and somebody else catches it So there's like so there's a there's like a video game collectibles market where it just seems like you could take a video game collectibles market where it just seems like you could take any video game and wrap it, factory shrink seal it, and it's identical to the, you know,

it seems very difficult to, I guess it'd be a little yellow if it was actually 20 years old and whatever, I don't know. All right, there's my- Collectible video games seems fucking stupid. There's my a video game seems fucking stupid There's my off-the-cuff guitar talk right on the money J.a. Says listening episode 407 and Sean is so right when he says that Maddox's life has completely screeched to a halt since the breakup It's so sad. He can't see that is his truth Maddox keeps going back to those events trying to climb out of a mountain of his own shit

But he keeps adding to the pile and it will never make out, and he'll never make it out. No, no, you're only hurting yourself, he's only hurting himself. I lost all hopes for him to create something decently funny since he's clearly still obsessed with 80's girl. The Dick Masterson is successful as a fact that will forever haunt him until you drink yourself into the grave, then we'll see another three hour long documentary about his fallen best friend. I don't even think me dying would give him what he needs.

No, no, no, no. I don't think you would feel good. Right. Maybe I don't think it would help him though. No, I don't think so either. Congrats on 400 episodes. Go fuck yourself, Dick and Smoochies for Sean. Yeah, he's thinking. Yes, thank you.

Yeah, he's just, he's literally, he's trying to change the past. Yeah. I mean, he really is. Yeah, it's truly impossible. Bakersfield is Indian. Southwest, Aaron says, Southwest Bakersfield properties

are all being bought by Indians. Really? And held to be rented or sold to Indians. Man, the rental shit. I think that's happening everywhere. The way people like aspire to buy property to profit on the rental. I don't agree with the communists

who like their landlords are evil. But there's something deeply wrong with our financial system if you're incentivized to buy property and rent it to other people. Yeah, well, also who's buying the property? One of these like investment fucking bankers and shit. So it's, no, it's fucking, it's shit. It's bad.

It's shit. That's not something to aspire to. It's fucking un-American. It really is. There's a lot of un-American shit. Monopoly was invented to say how bad this is. Yeah. Yeah.

Like you see guys, you see guys who get rich quickly celebrating like that they're a landlord now. I got it made. I'm making, people are working, slaving away for me now. Why though? Right. What did you, how much, it's worth that amount, that tiny amount of money for the 20% down payment is worth that much?

Like, that there's no risk to it at all? This is flawed. This is deeply flawed. It seems like something that could collapse in some way, doesn't it? Yeah, it really does. It seems very unhealthy. Well, here's to hoping. The Mexicans from that area are moving to the east side. Really? Or with the white trash in Northeast Bakersfield, oiled there.

Yeah, oiled there. Oiled there, yeah. Lamont and Arvin are more similar to your idea of Bakersfield. Lamont is that halfway house for people with pending papers and Arvin is illegal Mexicans. I know Arvin. Who never once cared about-

There's a golf course out there called Sycamore Canyon. Bakersfield is Indian now, wow. I mean, I guess that's when I was out there, but this is like forever ago. It was a huge, huge Hispanic population. This was on the East side. I'm not sure how far, how far North. I don't remember, but I've been out there a number of times

and it was definitely, it was super, it was super, super Mexican. It's hard to tell though, those Indians, you know, they button their, both of them have buttoned their shirts at the top. Oh, really? You know, Indians have that shirt with no, that dress shirt with no buttons.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's similar, you know? Good point. Both of their women are about the same small head, fat body ratio. Huh. You know? I was like, Indian women are skinnier, aren't they?

No women are skinnier. Oh. No, they're, they want you to think that. My mistake. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hmm, I'd have to check on that. Yeah, I think so. Let me get back to you on that. Okay. Patrick says, came across this while swiping the dating apps, which by the way is abysmal. You should read that one guy's tips for online dating. I don't know what one guy talking about, but... Maybe that's his name. Oh. Like that one guy. One guy's? He has tips for for this is what he came across Well, I think I might have read this one already frogs started us had wolves yeah

Good times This fucking this Mandela paragraph here Chris primer says gay aliens from the fifth dimension. I'd be lying if I said that stuff doesn't interest me, gay aliens, but I don't know how much I care. Maybe the Nazis contacted aliens demons and have some kind of secret base in the South Pole. No, they don't.

It might help explain those missing Department of Defense funds that need to be audited before pesky terrorists hit the accounting wing of the Pentagon. Sure, sure. Well, the thing that happened with that money is it was just stolen. Yeah. They just took it and gave it to their friends. They didn't set up an alien base. I love how just millions of dollars just disappear.

Trillions. Oh, yeah, but I mean just routinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, we don't know what happened to that. No, just you know Thank God you guys aren't using a cryptocurrency where we could track that. Yeah precisely. No wonder they're so against it. Yeah We prefer the database method where it's just like numbers in your accounts that we could change Yeah In the end, I never saw the interview between

Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson. I already know that the government is running PsyOps and all sorts of other gay shit. Yeah, it's really easy to explain where all the military money goes. Yeah. And not aliens. They just take it. Not too sharp on biblical lore, but I feel like there's something said about the type of Christians who are so desperate for the end times. Yeah, there is.

I don't know what they would, were they always like that? I don't think so. I don't know. There's a lot of Christians that are really amped up for Armageddon. Yeah, well, I think they think, maybe they're the kind that think that the world is wicked enough for something to happen.

It's time to come back and sort the good from all the rest. And they've always thought that. Yeah. They've always been doing this routine for hundreds of years. Yeah. God's gonna come this time. Yeah, he's coming this time. He's gonna be pissed off. And, he's coming this time. He's gonna be pissed off.

And you better stop having online pornography. Yeah. Because it's messing up your brain. Yeah. That online pornography is really making you crazy. And when God unleashes all the demons and everyone is burned alive in excrement, you're gonna really wish you had not messed your brain up on pornography Okay, okay, if you say so

If there is an Antichrist, I suspect the kind of person who follows Ben Shapiro or Crowder would fall for them If there is an Antichrist many will lose their faith in the coming years a Lot of them just want something to hold over others. Yeah, I think that's a big draw. Still, I don't really like Satanists. I always thought it was cooler to be ironic about that kind of stuff instead of making it an institution. Satanism is meant to be a joke. Satanism only exists because religion was protected

by law, stupidly, and it's... And they get all kinds of benefits from it. Yeah, they get all kinds of benefits to do shit that normal people don't get. Yeah, it's crazy. So they said, well, why don't we just make a fake version? Why don't we just make the worst religion?

And then we can be tax exempt. Yeah, which is hilarious. Show you how dumb this is. It pisses everyone off, because that's exactly what it does. I don't think that guy in Utah should have smashed the altar of the church of Satan, but I do think it's funny the Satanists got into such a huff about this destruction. No Satanists got into a huff about this.

No? No. It's like, well, the point of it is to provoke this reaction. To show that you guys are... Maybe some people aren't in on the joke if they got pissed off about it. Satanist? Yeah, like maybe they're just like,

no, no, no, I really love Satan. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always gonna be some who join a group who just don't get the joke. Yeah. Yeah. So what are we doing like the Dark Lord shit? I don't know if anybody was pissed off about it or not.

No, they're pissed that... They're pissed about the mentality of this person who thinks that just destroying other people's shit is fine. And that he's being backed up by a bunch of religious whack jobs who would do this no matter what. Anything that makes fun of them or criticizes them, they want to destroy. Totally. That's the point. Yeah, totally.

That's the point. That's what we're getting upset about. You guys just, you get upset, you get emotional about something, you get made fun of or criticized, and you want to destroy it. That's right. So we say, okay,

and that's a really important thing that we still have here for the most part. It's eroding because Jews are taking it away. Black people are taking it away Everybody's taking away a little bit at a time when you can no longer fat women fat women have been taking it away Fat women have been fighting the war against jokes for our in for the entire existence of the human race And there's so many of them that it's impossible to hold them off anymore because they're getting so goddamn big that it's impossible to hold them off anymore because they're getting so goddamn big! But you all team up! All of the enemies of jokes,

the fat women, the black people, and Jews have all teamed up together. But Jews have some great comedy. So it's shocking that they're not on the side of any jokes good. Yeah. It's shocking! They should be number one in the line. Whoa, whoa, we need we need these jokes.

I want yeah, I mean, I wonder I wonder how much is like the Jerry Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld's like- Like the ADL. You know what I mean? Oh, cuz they're bad. Oh, no, they are bad. Yeah. Jews- Yeah, the ADL is like way evil. Straight up evil. Way crazy. Bolshevik evil. They're the onesL is like way evil straight a crazy like a civic evil Like they're the ones they're the ones that started the fuck wonder if you like the average I still think that the average Jew probably has a pretty pretty good sense of humor. Oh, of course more than a more than a Christian Yeah, because they're smarter depending on what you joke about

But like I mean, you know, like I would say, like Jews tend to make fun of themselves. Christians don't really make fun of themselves. They have like priests making fun of themselves. I guess I was just too perfect today. And the congregation was like, oh, me too. Me too. Like what the fuck is wrong with you?

Why did you come here for this? I love being so Christ-like. Yeah. Yeah, they, Jews pretty, like a lot. You got Jerry Seinfeld, like you can't have comedy anymore because it's just ruined by his whack jobs and zealots. And then you have fucking Jonathan Greenblatt of the ADL. That's like, well, if you're not saying positive stuff

about Israel, you should go to jail. Like, okay, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah you're not saying positive stuff about Israel, you should go to jail. Like, okay, fuck! Yeah, yeah, yeah, those things are worlds apart. Uh... Um... It is, that's what they're getting upset about. Is that you're taking away this... Taking away basic freedoms to express yourself.

Um... The whole point of it. If I was a Satanist, I would have laughed at the guy who broke it and built a comically bad, who built a, who broke it and built a comically bad altar to worship. Maybe that's just how I think. I don't, if I was, if I were a Satanist,

I would have laughed at the guy. There's a lot to unpack here. And if I was a Satanist. I would have laughed at the guy. I think there's a lot to unpack here and if I was a Satanist. I would laugh at the guy. I mean, like if he was that guy who got, I don't know. Yeah. Satanist put up a thing in the state Capitol or something. And then some psycho Christian came in.

Right. Bashed. It's evil and he's in God obviously is on his side to that he's a, you know, a warrior of God. Man, God's doing God's work. Yeah. Got it. God took care of it.

There's never been any like wars or anything being based on this kind of thinking. Yeah. Or just like general being a cocksucker all the time. Uh, and they don't think they don't see it's like Muslims or they kill people for drawing Muhammad and shit. Yeah. Like how do you guys not see that's the same thing? You just haven't, like you, we had enough people here to stop you guys from doing this.

If we let you do whatever you want, you will also kill people for making fun of your religion. That's what every, everything, everything trends to killing you, killing people for getting made fun of. That's what everything, everything trends to killing you. That's where it all goes. For getting made fun of. That's right. Everybody wants to kill somebody for making fun of them. And it's so hard to do that. It's like our, it had to be our number one law.

You can't kill people for making fun of you. First of all, you can't kill. Secondly, you could make fun of whoever you want. Yeah. That's it. Number one law in both. Number one law in the Bible, don't kill anybody. Number one law in the government, say whatever you want. Number one, because we're so bad at it.

Yeah. Sounds like your friend was trying to develop a new method to extract refractory gold ore. Yeah, he was. Update from him. Goldwar. Yeah, his, he was. Update from him. He's getting out, quote, unless ICE gets involved. Oh. Immigration. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because he's not a, he's not, he wasn't born in the US 80, 90 years ago. But he's been, I mean, he's been here like for fucking ever, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Okay.

Jojo Siwa says, "'I have an anime for you and an anime for Sean' if you watch either of these." For Sean, "'Your Lie in April' it's about a piano prodigy who falls in love with a violin player who reignites his love for music." What do you think about that one? A lot of it is about art and what it means-

Your lie in April? Your lie in April. A lot of it is about art and what it means. Your lie in April? Your lie in April. A lot of it is about art and what it means to be, to the performers. Sean seems to like the kind of sensitive young man. I imagine he'll really connect with the tragic emo stuff in the show. Does that sound like something you would enjoy?

Sounds like a very subtle shit talking. It's calling you an Epsler. Maybe. That's how I take it. That's exactly what an emo sensitive boy would take it. It's probably pretty good. I've never heard of it. For you, how heavy are the dumbbells you lift? That's a show? Wow. It's about a girl. No.

Pass. Cause you're dumb. It's about a girl who realizes she's getting fat and goes to the gym. What the fuck? Right up your eye. It's like they've, you gotta do everything we can do to support your man.

She learns to love working out. And by the end, a big crowd of her friends are all going to the gym together, taught by a comically muscle-bound sensei that must be me that's why he's talking about gotcha it has an end credit scene where the last episode where she steps on a scale and is happy to see the weight she's lost Wow he just gave away the whole fucking journey there okay You already know what's happening. Oh yeah, I'm fine. Alright. P.S. I was listening to the Maddox radio interview, and I figured out why he said the Ku Klux Klan is involved.

I'm 99% sure that he's confusing the Daily Stormer with Stormfront. Well I'm sure he is. Confusing something. Nazis love storms. Anything that, yeah. Yeah, blitzkrieg. Yeah, that's right. Stormfront. That's true. Storm, Daily Stormer.

They just love storming. Yeah. Stormfront was a white supremacist forum, which actually was owned and operated by Ku Klux Klan members. They can do IT? Klan? Some of them.

That's cool. Good for them. It was originally founded as- It's like a dog that can open doors, you know? I mean, it can't all do it. But one of them can, yeah. Oh, we got an IT guy over there. It was originally founded as a David Duke campaign site.

It had Klan imagery all over the site and even sold Ku Klux Klan merch. Wow! What kind of merch do they have? Bottle openers? We could do a half hour on this, right? Yeah. Let's see, what are they? It's the daily Stormfront.

Let's see, Stormfront. Merch. Oh, Southern poverty laws. Well, there's, yeah. Yeah, merch. Why do I, why do I realize I won't be able Oh, Southern poverty laws. Yeah. Merch. Why do I realize I won't be able to find what I'm looking for on Google? Yeah. How about Stormfront Nazi website?

Does the SPLC link to it at least? White Pride Worldwide. That's a good slogan. It's odd because there's not white people worldwide. You don't have white pride in Africa or India, for example. They're saying wherever you live, maybe, or something. It's just an odd thing to say. Yeah, but they rhymed it. But the rhyme is important. All of that an odd thing to say. Yeah, but they, but they rhymed it. But the rhyme is important. All advantage is a rhyme. White pride worldwide. Stormfront.org.

Okay. Let's see. Still around. Oh, they're still around. Oh, wow. How about that? And they got an outdated PHP BB bulletin board. Yeah.

Sustaining members, guidelines for posting. What an odd thing to say. What could possibly be the guidelines at a Nazi forum? Right. Yeah. Even in the Nazi community, they have to enforce terms and services and decorum. Right.

That's wild. What about the merch, man? Today's pool? Posts. Culture and customs. Oh, I'd have to take a look at these. Computer talks. Look at that. They got a computer talk.

There are two viewing currently. What? Artificial intelligence will kill us. Computer talks, look at that. They got a computer talks. There are two viewing currently. What? Artificial intelligence will kill us. That's a big thread. That's a big thread. So the replies are 1, 2, 3, 2, 3. 281 on that thread.

Which one, this one? 5, 0, yeah. What are you talking about? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the thread count, yeah. Here's the one, well one was, so... Let's go to the last page. Was it two or three days ago, what is the best way to figure out whether somebody is a Jew or not? There was, there's one reply to that in, in like, what is it, the 29th?

The top one, the top thread. What is the best way to figure out if someone is a Jew or not? Well you see... What's the best way to figure out if someone is a Jew or not? Well, you see... What's the best way? You pull their hat off and look for the horns. Loading ancestry.com's surname. I would say probably ask them. Yeah.

You know, I mean... Yeah. Oftentimes it's ambiguous and says, for example, Jewish or German. Oh man, they're really in for a... That's funny. Yeah. Why do you ask, Mr. Finkelstein? In those cases, it usually means that it's a Jew.

I love it. This is so funny. When they don't have an entry for the surname. What happens when they find out they can't like be in love with Natalie Portman anymore? I don't know if they watch movies. Yeah, maybe not. Yeah. If the person is famous enough to have one, I load their Wikipedia article and search for Jew. Or Hebrew. Because I don't know how to read. I know how to spell that.

Or Hebrew on the webpage. Oh, so these are good tips. Right. Search for... This guy had some tips. Hebrew or Jew. Jew on Wikipedia. Oh, all right. You can also probably search for maybe Israel. If they are a Jew. It almost always has a section saying something such as born to Jewish immigrants or grew up in a Hebrew speaking family, heavily implying that they are Jewish.

Yeah, heavily implying. I would say born to Jewish immigrants in a Hebrew speaking household. I would say probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a reliable database of surnames of people who are Jewish? I mean a free open...

So free. He's not going to pay for the Fourth Reich, but I mean a free, open, properly maintained one, which I can download regularly and enter into my own database. Oh my god, these fucking people. AHHHHH This is fucking pure comedy. Bro. For local processing so I don't need to rely on a

on a Jew-net? Parentheses internet? Oh, he's saying like the internet is totally run by Jews. Right. He doesn't want to... I wish. He won't get the real dirt, you know? Jew net connection. Ha ha ha ha ha. Or making any network requests.

This is amazing. I think an easier way, oh yeah, okay. Oh, here, okay, making the joke, yeah. Artificial intelligence will kill us. This is an um, this is amazing. Oh Man, yeah, this is wonderful We should read one of these every week And then you have questions larger to buy On the right side are you wish charger I need a new charger to buy. Confused. I know, that's what I just saw. Are you sure you're on the right site?

I thought this was a Jewish charger. I need a new charger for my laptop. These are just random questions. Oh my god, this has nothing to do with Jews. Bro, you could have typed this into Google. What are you doing? My laptop has a 10% charge left. This is an emergency.

He's only got 10% battery left. Right. Oh man. I need an answer quick. Time is an emergency. He's only got 10% battery left. Right. Oh man. I need an answer quick. Time is a factor. And the blue screen or something awaits. What's the or something? It happens when your battery dies. Fucking idiot. I just downloaded the brochure for my laptop.

I downloaded the brochure for my laptop. And the charger figures were input 100 to 240 volts. Bro. Bro. Man. Watch this. Touching the satellite 8.1. Charger. There you go.

Wow, on Amazon for 10 bucks. Are you fucking retarded? Yes. Yes. These people- You typed a whole fucking paragraph about- You downloaded the- You downloaded the manual for your computer? I'm sure this is just a plan- This is just an infiltrator.

There's an FBI agent. To make sure that they look stupid, you know, cause they're all really so smart. And so well informed. Uhhhh, okay. God damn. Buy a Dodge charger. It's the best charger that guy says. I mean, that's true. I mean, that's the difference though. If I got to pick between a world run by Jews

where I hear different jokes or a world run by white people where I hear the same joke. Right. About throwing the pennies on the ground, that type of joke. White people just repeat the same fucking joke, like the office, turn it to camera shit. Like, no, I do not want that world. Who else would say holly weird? Haven't heard that for my entire fucking life. You'd never hear a Jew repeat a joke like that. Not like that.

That's some kind of fucking pride. Come on. Yeah. In communication. Come on now The women's forum. Oh boy one viewing one member Boy what yeah, what are they selling? Oh man Just in time for the first Hitler's birthday metal swastika pendant necklace on a 32 inch black hemp cord that kind of- This is an amazing fucking place.

Black hemp. Shouldn't it be on like paracord or something more military? I don't know. Not hemp. Right, that's a- yeah, that's kind of- It's a little Jewish. I don't know. Man, that's a little subversive. It's at least a little commie, I mean, you know, I mean, uh, oh

My Why did you not why does it have a photo bucket logo on it? Yeah, don't you? Can't you just upload a picture of your swastikas this? God get your act together Jesus All right Jesus Jesus Christ Alright Uhhh Okay, it's got the watermark The fucking watermark all over the fucking thing

Protect, what does that say? The photo bucket? Protect more of your memories for less. Yeah, that's the photo bucket Sorry I don't have a website because I can't find a host who is not woke HOSWELL HO- PHOTO BUCKET ALLOW THIS And a host who is not woke. Oh, well, host photo bucket, allow this. You can't upload it to IPFS or literally any site.

And then here comes the fucking incomplete product. Oh, the first reply, incomplete product description. What type of metal are they made from? Aluminum, stainless steel, carbon steel, zinc. God damn, it's even in the Nazis, they got the same cocksuckers. Yeah, yeah, sure. It's just, there's no difference between them

and anybody else. How you feel about Buddhists propagating this symbol as well? Fucking jokes. Right, right. You think the white man should only use Celtic items? Like the Celtic cross? Because Asian people are using this as, bro, what the fuck are you talking about?

It also represents a wheel. So the Third Reich maybe was along with Japan, but they're still Asian-y. So what will you do about that? Yeah. Oh, he doesn't like the swastika. He's such a white supremacist. the swastika is not white enough. Well, no.

Well, because it's, yeah, we know it's been used in India. We've, you know, that, yeah. They didn't come up with the, with the emblem. You're telling me. Not even close. This poor white supremacist is trying to make a buck selling swastikas. Well, he's like more- And the first response is, not wide enough.

Yeah. No, I don't go for any of this Asian shit. Yeah. I just thought I would make some swastikas for 10 bucks, my wife makes some. Everybody kind of knows what that currently means, but no. Not wide enough.

No, no, totally. Well, you know, you're gonna be, he's a fucking corksniffer, you know? Yeah. He's a corksniffer. Only bad experiences he's having on this Nazi website. Uhhhh... okay. Unbelievable. Who cares what Asians do?

Our symbols are symbols, regardless of what anyone does with them. Amen. Yup. Okay, that's enough Nazi shit. Unbelievable. I'm so glad he went there. It's just, it's exactly what I hoped it would be like. Hey, check out my swastikas, they're ten bucks, you want one?

No, no, no, I don't buy that miscegenated shit. Right, also, what's it made out of? What's it made out of? Incomplete. Incomplete product description. Not just what's it made out of. Oh, it looks cool, what's it made out of? What's it made out of? Incomplete. Yeah. Incomplete product description. Not just what's it made out of. Hey. Oh, it looks cool. What's it made out of?

What charger do you think? I don't want to buy any of those. You know this thing is incomplete. No indication of what metal it's made out of. Zinc, steel. I want last names of everyone involved in the manufacturing process. Hey guys, check out this hot tip.

I figured out how you could tell if someone's Jewish. Want to make sure there's no blats or steens or, you know, furgs involved in the manufacturing of... Don't worry, the metal's not precious. This is just crappy steel. God damn, man. Fucking people. It's cra- people are crazy!

Oh no, I didn't finish reading this. Stormfront was the white supremacist forum, which was, oh yeah, David Duke. It had Klan imagery all over the site, and even sold Ku Klux Klan merchandise. We found some. Right, we did. Poor guy. I want to support him, kinda. I'm not supporting him. He's trying to make a buck.

I'm not buying. He can make something else. But it's an Asian symbol. If the white supremacists hate it, then I'm the good guy for supporting it. Chargers and sell them at a profit. Draw little swastikas on them. Hey everybody, I'm selling Nazi laptop chargers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God damn. Such as a- Are these people retarded? Yes. Such as a t-shirt. Well, because they're on a forum, number one. That's the biggest strike against. Such as a t-shirt with a clan members on it that said the original boys in the hood. It was 90s internet stuff way back when Maddox was relevant. So we probably would have heard of the site. Yeah, maybe.

Who knows why he said the Ku Klux Klan is involved. That sounds as likely as anything else. He got it confused with, you know, like you said, they like storms. A lot of storm. A lot of storm shit. They love storming. I'm trying to get rid of gross stuff on the screen, but I just got wind from a guy getting blown up to testicles. Okay, a whale. Only on this show. Advice. Girl with huge tits wants to get them reduced. Oh no no no no no. Longtime listener of the show here. Hey Dick, I've been seeing this girl with the most amazing tits I've ever witnessed. Wow, have you ever witnessed tits? I guess I have

a couple. Yeah. I've witnessed them. I guess so. Usually I would have just seen them. Yeah, that's witnessed as, okay, whatever. It's like a religious experience. Artistic liberties. I've witnessed the tits of the Lord H. Cups that despite gravity still remain firm. The girl isn't obese and not even chubby. Wow. By European standards.

What does that mean? Well, they weigh less than us. Less than Americans, better than American standards. Like any Zoomer girl with nice breasts, she has been indoctrinated into believing she needs to get them reduced. Oh my God. While back issues are a believable reason,

it's always a lie. It mostly stems from insecurities. She got talked into by flat chested bitches. Yeah, that's true. I am by no means a scholar, but I think you can not get closer to heaven than having a girl ride you while her delicious melons try to punch you in the face.

I mean, yeah, what you're saying is great, but don't go overboard on the compliments here. How can I stop her from slicing up her body only to satisfy the jealous women around her? Best regards, Yo Han. Is he hooked up with this girl? Is that...? Yes, assume it's his girlfriend or something. I've been seeing this girl with the most amazing...

Oh, man, oh man! You can't play that hand too hard, right? Mm-hmm. Because then you're a controlling person. I read this story of a girl who did get a secret breast reduction. Oh yeah. She said it ruined her marriage and she was shocked.

Oh wow. And she said her husband said he just didn't like the scars, but obviously it's, you know. Right, it's what you're doing. It was the decision making. He didn't like the decision making. Yeah. Well, we have stopped a breast reduction on this show.

Did we? Yeah. That guy wrote in and said, his girlfriend was thinking about it and because we would make fun of it so much, she realized how stupid it was. I don't remember that, but I mean, you know, most-

Doing the Lord's work without realizing it. Most of the problems with women are them thinking on their own without being interrupted without someone interrupting the process oh god so you got it just you got first of all you got a distract her from that shit. Don't, whatever you do, never have a serious conversation with a woman about anything. That's the last thing you ever, ever wanna do. If she says we gotta talk about something, say, hey, about these keys, look at this shit.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, what do you think about this? How about this horn? You wanna play with this toy? It's got little penguins that goes up the ladder and they slide down the slide. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, it'sch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Stop me. No, I'm not trying to stop you I'm in your corner, right? Just lie constant. First of all, you got to like lie constantly stop you I'm trying to I'm trying to help you do what you want. Yeah, which is not cut your tits off Cuz it looks it looks horrible. He's jealous. He's jealous, but just ask them ask them

How big they would want their tits to be right put them on there give her ammo Give her ammo to fight them. Yeah. See, as you as a man have, are born with the know-how and the skills to battle women, to fight them, you know? You just have to believe. Yes. You're born with this skill to totally ignore them. It comes with, it's just ingrained. You have to fight it your whole life to live. But we're all born with the ability to totally block, tune them out, block them out, ignore them,

demean what they're saying, dismiss it. It comes naturally, but they don't have this ability. So she's getting shit from all of her friends and it's just soaking in like a sponge. You have to give her the tools to ignore women. Yeah. That's the secret. Yeah, we could just flex off of us. I don't care. Yeah. You must, you have a small dick. You're gay. I didn't even hear what you said. I assume it was one of those things because that's what you're always saying. Oh. And that is the, and the tool

that you have to give her is little meme, is comedy and mockery. That's what you got to, rhymes, itty bitty titty committee. Oh, here they come again. Oh boy. Oh, here comes the itty bitty titty committee coming in. They hate, they hate it. They hate those big jugs, but I would too, if I was them. Let's go get some food.

I know you guys love food. Let's go check out some of this food. It's a brand new boba place or something. Something distracting. Distract and then arm. Distract, deflect, and then arm with jokes and memes. Got it. You're training an operative here.

You got it. Women have no defense for the kind of shit that they get. You gotta build her, give her the tools, you know, so she can help herself. Right, if you teach a woman to whatever, she feeds herself the rest of her life. That's how the saying goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you find yourself in an argument, get out.

Yeah, you've gone to... Say, why did you pick this fight with me? And then do something else. And storm out. And then storm out, like you're upset. But don't get in that situation in the first place. You're on the same side. You're not always on the same side.

And then you say things like, I don't know why, that's crazy that you said the exact opposite the other day. Yeah. Put them, you know, you gotta manipulate harder than what they're getting. Gotcha. Which is difficult for you as a man,

because we're not born with that, women are. But you can do it. Just always say, always say the opposite of what she's saying. Yeah, but not- And then teach her little saying. Yeah, but not coming from you. But not coming from you, exactly. I know they're doing that to you. That's crazy. And pray to God.

Find a God, whatever God you have, and pray daily for the strength to get through this. What a terrible thing. And then if she does go through with it, if if nothing else fails threaten to kill yourself. Oh boy. I'm getting it. I don't care what you say I'm really myself. Yeah, you really got to you got to commit that's committing. Yeah, you have to commit right? I cut your tits off. I'm gonna kill myself, right? I Just can't mentally I can't deal with so much change never never never say be honest mentally I can't handle so much change happening in my life. Fucking the government,

my job, you cutting your tits off, everything's just happening so fast. I just can't kill myself. Yeah, I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. Yeah. Oh my god, really? Yeah. I can't cut my tits off if you're gonna kill yourself. Uh-huh.

Okay, I won't. Yeah. You win. Yeah. Done. Lock in. Simple as that. Lock in. If you're not prepared to go that far, then you're not prepared.

Yeah. That's the lesson. Okay, advice, stick and chime. Please don't read my name or email on the show. I need advice for how to abandon my special needs classmate okay, before the end of the semester. For context, I'm a 20 year old broke college kid without autism. Nice.

Wow. Who's smart enough, get her diagnosed with autism. You know what? They're in a relationship? What? No, this is a different guy. Yeah. Oh, you're going back to, yeah.

The tits guy, yeah. Figure out a disease. Oh, you must have like a dysmorphia Oh, right, right. Oh, that's bad. It's a it's a mental thing. It's a yeah, it's your perception of mental problems. Yeah Who's smart enough to pirate my uh, i'm a 20 year old broke college kid Who is smart enough to pirate my textbooks at the beginning of the semester in order to avoid paying the insane fees at the campus bookstore Sure, okay at the beginning of the semester in order to avoid paying the insane fees at the campus bookstore. Sure. Okay, that's a weird...

However, I never bothered to download this one textbook in particular because it's never once been needed in class. Are you sure you don't have autism? That is until the other day when I had to read a few chapters from the text and write down some takeaways and other homework bullshit. Anyway, while I was in between classes searching for a PDF copy of the textbook, my special needs classmate Kyle, who I've only ever spoken to briefly, approached me asking how I was doing on the homework. Kyle isn't full blown Down syndrome retarded, but he's lazy-eyed with untied shoelaces and a full ass hanging out of his sweatpants he wears every day retarded. Is that retarded? Is he retarded? I don't know. I mean, so there

might be something going on. Got his ass hanging out of his sweatpants? Like a fat version of the retarded cop in Scary Movie. Lazy eye doesn't have anything to do with it. You can have a lazy eye and be of, you know, average intelligence, right? Pretty, yeah, I'm pretty sure you can. Untied shoes is... Yeah, that might be retarded. Well, it's... Kids, like little kids have untied shoes. Because you should be aware of what... you should take notice of things.

You just take notice of things when you're walking around or when you see... You do see your shoes multiple times a day. You just do. Yeah, like a fat version of retry. Yeah, I'll, in what I'll refer to as a Larry David moment. You don't always see your ass crack every, you know, multiple times a day. So he may not know. You should feel your own ass hanging out.

You should. I then offered to help Kyle with his homework if he let me skim his physical copy of the textbook. Oh, he needed a textbook. I would soon find out this was a mistake. I ended up spending the next hour helping him take notes, basically doing the bulk of the assignment for him, without so much as getting a dent in my share of the workload.

Yeah. Well, what are you doing? Well, I was satisfied writing this off as a good deed. The extent of the good deed would grow far beyond what I thought would come of it. Is this guy really retarded? Probably shows up on your porch or something, right? The next morning I woke up to an avalanche of texts from Kyle

asking for help on the next assignment. Oh, yeah. Before I could think of a reason to say no, like how you would have wanted me to, yes, I would have. I graciously agreed on the terms that I would once again get to skim the text book. Who's the retard? All this over a fucking textbook? No, he wants to, he's a nice guy.

He wants a little bit of nice. Yeah, it's a little bit of nice. The problem is a little bit of nice. And he has trouble saying no. He probably feels a little bit bad for the guy. He's getting a little something out of it. He probably feels bad, he's like, I can't, you know, I mean, yeah, he probably doesn't have a lot going on. I get it. Flash forward to this morning when I not only spent two hours getting to do the entire new

assignment for Kyle, I also helped him finish the last assignment that he said he could finish on his own. Like I said earlier, I'm not autistic, so I can clearly tell where this is going. Don't worry that I might've pushed my luck, Kyle, and I know outright dumping him as my latest book bitch might upset the great magnet in some way while I could just ignore and block him. Don't ignore and block him. Ignore and block women.

Don't ignore and block a guy. That's a bit extreme. Ignoring the retarded kid after he's called me his friend is social suicide and besides we still have classes together so it's not like I can always avoid them. I've even considered finding a way to make money off this arrangement. No, that... don't. Let's get more involved. Yeah. Turn it into a money-making venture. Now who's the stalker? But my back is up against the wall and I'm running out of time to nip this in the bud

before I'm morally obligated to a lifelong aid for a retarded kid in class. Oh, come on. What should I do? Just send in a fake version of you. Get one of your friends to pretend to be you next time you meet and dress like you. Yeah. And just act like totally fucking scramble his and dress like you and just act like,

totally fucking scramble his circus. Well, and then just like, when he says like, hey, well, you're not so and so, it's like, yes, I am, I just have a cold. Yeah. Then just see what he says. You're not, say you're not so and so. If he's got an answer for that, then you're like,

you are not retarded. Yeah. You need to do your own work. Do your own goddamn work. Yeah. He probably just wants a friend. You manipulative motherfu- Yes, he probably wants a friend. Sounds like you kind of do too, but I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know, man. Yeah. Find out, if he's retarded, find out something that he's like has a phobia of, like balloons. Yeah. And then schedule all your little dates at a balloon store. Maybe he's terrified of ocelots. Yeah, let's go to the zoo.

Yeah, I mean, get one of those. You can jam that fucker in his backpack, you know? Yeah, find out something. It's gonna come out hot, so, you know what I mean? Unzip that thing and back away, and see, he'll probably never talk to you again. Find out a smell that he hates. Retarded people have very strong smell preferences.

And then just wear that scent and he'll stop texting you. Right. I don't know. Yeah, camp counselor works well. Yeah, as long, if you can't say no, do any of these other totally reasonable things. Yeah. If you can't say no, do any of these other totally reasonable things. Yeah. If you can't just say no, I can't.

Yeah. No, I can't. I'm Shomar Shabbos, try that one. I can't work, it's a religious thing today, a religious activity. I got Eid, I'm Muslim today. Yeah. Yeah, switch it up.

There you go. Tiny Skellington man, Honker Dilemma. I love big fat Mommy Honkers. Did I read this one? Yes. I did? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Fat Watch. Fat Watch, today in Fat Loo. Getting down to the wire here, Sean. Getting down to the wire here, Sean. Getting down to the end. Do-do-do-doot. This is from No Name.

Oh, what would you, we would do a lot better being less afraid of being fat. What happens, this is from Man on the Internet, let them eat everything. What happens when your kid goes on a playdate to my house? I can tell you your kid eats nine Oreos. Wow. Great. So it can't be reached. Archive is broken.

There it is. Oh no. Oh baby. Yeah, this about sums up the New York Times for me. Op-ed in the... Let them eat everything. Oh, okay. And it's a...

It's great. It's a woman, a fat woman that has an expression like she hasn't eaten in a couple minutes, staring defiantly, wearing a magenta carpet, staring magenta... She doesn't look friendly, I mean, not jolly at all. No. In the age of Ozempic, the fat activist Virginia Soul Smith is inspiring and infuriating followers. It's a little bio piece on her, obviously.

She's fighting the war against not eating. She's inspiring the eaters and infuriating the not eaters, both, with her bold defiance. The sheet pan chicken and roasted broccoli are out of the oven. Ready to be covered in Hershey's chocolate syrup. This is the second dinner today. And white rice is steaming on the stove. They're just such fucking liars. Virginia Soul Smith.

Yeah, this is supposed to, it sounds healthy. There's three DoorDash orders on the way. Ha ha ha ha ha. Two of them are the same because she forgot that she already ordered them. Virginia Soul Smith who has spent a decade writing about how women think and feel about their bodies and how they pass along these feelings to their children through food is about to serve dinner to her daughters Violet 10 and Beatrix 6. Soul Smith tries not to be a short order cook. Respect the labor is how she puts it.

What? Making food for your kids? Make me some eggs. Just like, yeah. Well, they're kids, they can't fucking do it. That's what you're- Make it yourself. Eat some cereal.

She's fucking 10. Reminding her children that if they don't like what she's prepared, there's other stuff to eat in the house. A pullout shelf in the pantry holds Tate's chocolate chip cookies, goldfish crackers, pea snaps, and chocolate kisses. There are raspberries and grape tomatoes in the fridge. Yeah, I mean, I could not wait, like, when I got home from school, just to fucking tear into those fucking

grape tomatoes. I love the acid in your throat after eating one grape tomato. Just fucking throw them back, you know? All the chips and shit, that was good. Chips and salsa, but once I discovered just grape tomatoes, god damn. What Sol Smith hopes to model, she says,

in a five-hour interview at her home in Cold Spring, New York is that, quote, you can be a mom who doesn't live solely in service of other people. Wow. That's been the problem this whole time is that moms were too invested in their kids. That you deserve time to yourself and that you're a person with needs

and those needs matter. What does this have to do with getting fat? Fucking cow. What was the point of the kids then? Yeah, yeah. Knock the kids out, take some pictures. Yeah, but the kids got to know. I mean, I need time for me.

Yeah, they're- Do they? It sounds like a, you know, they're developing. You sound like you're just, you got a couple of new purses or something. Yeah. Oh, these fucking kids. I need some time for me. Why'd you make them that? It's not a good way to be talking. She ferries the... It's like, anytime you give women a platform,

they say something just bombastically ridiculous like this. Yeah, I kill dogs. It's awesome. That's what Farm Life's about. Yeah, I have a farm. It's not awesome. It is part of Farm Life, but... You've seen, yeah, you do have to do unpleasant things. Bad about it. Right.

You haven't seen all the fucking kids in the hood fucking wearing Farm Life fucking t-shirts, right? Michael Vick was really into the Farm Life. right yeah farm life for life well you know that's what we got to do we got to fight dogs you know it's part of farm life yeah okay yeah she ferries the girls plastic plates to the front porch table, evading the miniature Bernadoodle Penelope. A year ago, Sol Smith... A Bernadoodle? Is it like a Bernese... Like a Bernie Sanders mixed with a... Like a Bernese Mountain Dog or something? I guess. Miniature... Miniature Bernadoodle. Maybe it's a snack. Maybe she has a... Maybe she loved snacks so much one of them came to life. It's like a gummy bear.

Yeah. A year ago, Soul Smith published Fat Talk, Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture. Okay. A guide to help... a guide to helping parents grapple with their discomfort and anxiety about weight and food. At the moment when ozempic-like drugs are enabling people to become thin, Soul Smith has become one of the country's

most visible fat activists. Because you can't look, yeah, because you can see her from everywhere. Calling out the bias and discrimination faced by people in bigger bodies, especially from doctors and research scientists. Man, if there's one group of people that's biased and just out for, just out to hurt people's feelings, it's doctors.

And if there's one bigger group, it's research scientists. Yeah. Fucking big exercise has wormed their way into doctors and research scientists and hardened their hearts against big fat slobs that need me time from their kids. And they're tired of being a short order cook. So they have a tub of goldfish crackers in the pantry and Hershey's kisses.

She asserts her own right to be fat. The preferred adjective in her corner of the internet. Are you taking back the N-word? In Sol Smith's house, there are neither good or bad foods nor healthy or unhealthy ones. Yeah, shocker. Donuts and kale hold equivalent moral value, and no one polices portion size. Kids don't eat anything, though. They don't eat any dinner and they just eat like a bunch of snacks and shit. Yeah.

By relieving herself and her family of rules about eating, Sol Smith believes she will have a better chance of raising children who are proud of their bodies. Do they mention the father or husband once in this article? You know, Sean? I'll bet they don't. Let's see. I'll bet they don't.

I'm going to take a tip from the white supremacists and search for husband? Husband. Oh. Separated. From her husband. Yeah. Dan Upham. Why do they name, why do they dox him like that?

So this is her freaking out. That upheaval has had her reconsider many family rituals, like eating health, being a controlling bitch. I decided to be an even more controlling bitch after my husband left me. And in that upheaval, yeah, including dinner, they attempted a regular dinner hour. Upham said he considered it sacrosanct. But when they split, neither child wanted to come to the table at all. at a regular dinner hour. Upham said he considered it sacrosanct, but when they split, neither child wanted to come to the table at all.

Yeah, because they're fucking traumatized. Yeah, yeah. Because their family is destroyed. Yeah. They're fucking moron. How do you make taking your kid's dad away from them a New York Times op-ed about how fat women should be happier about themselves,

should be more obnoxious? How do you take a, yeah my marriage didn't work, I mean honestly it's both of our faults, we had two kids, I don't like it, but really the problem is that I'm not getting enough positive attention for being as fat as I am. That's the big issue. When they split, neither child won. And then Soul Smith hit on a fix. She released her kids from the pressure to politely converse by allowing them to read at the table. At dinner and at court. So they got divorced and then you make the kids happy by feeding them candy all day, right? And the kids never stop eating the candy because it's a quick dopamine fix

and they don't have a dad anymore and they're constantly sad about it. So they just keep eating and eating and eating and develop a unhealthy obsession with food to replace their dad. Right, diabetes at a young age. Is that not the whole op-ed? Two sentences?

I mean, I can- Yeah, you're fat because of your parents and your kids are gonna be fat because you're substituting love and a and your kids are gonna be fat because you're substituting love and a father with fucking Hershey's kisses. Yeah, it's not hard to predict how this goes. I mean, this is... Yeah, what an amazing...

Do I get a best seller now? Yeah. What a fucking horrible human being. Just because you're that bad of a person doesn't mean you have to be fat. And on the internet, Rhinestone Cowboy, he's usually got some good ones. Let's see here. Oh no. Oh no!

Wow. Oh shit. Yikes. Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and do this. Oh, wow. Oh shit. Yikes. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Why is she attempting this box jump? But I'm kind of impressed that she got up there. Fat people could lift a piano, man. Their thighs are like, some of their thighs are like tree trunks.

Well, there's gotta be some muscle in there, yeah. Yeah. So she's got a, it's a fat woman wearing an electric neon green... Yeah. Uh, sports bra... And a... I don't know, a matching sweatshirt that she has tied around her waist. Yeah.

She's doing some kind of a CrossFit thing because fat people can't just stop eating and walk. They have to go straight to, I'm in CrossFit. And that's how you fuck yourself up. Yeah. Yeah, that's how you fuck yourself up. Even healthy people will fuck themselves up in CrossFit. Absolutely. It's not a good thing to do. Yeah. Okay, and now she's attempting to

jump onto a What is that like a two and a half foot box? Something like that. Yeah, I mean it's an upturn box. Yeah. She's attempting to box jump, which is a very difficult thing. Is she jumping right off the floor or is there something under there? She doesn't have a little trampoline or anything, does she? I don't know, maybe. I don't know, what is that? I can't see what it is. Oh, I think it's a weight.

It's a weight. Is it a springboard? It's a weight. Is it? It's a 45 pound plate? That's crazy. Is that what it is? It doesn't look like springs.

It didn't move at all? Now she's got her feet up. Yeah. That's a lot, man. I know. That's a swan bouncy fat bitch. Kind of impressive. Yeah. I couldn't do that.

Yeah. What do you think? She's about two, 240. She's about 2.7 Tungstens or 1.7 Tungstens. The jump is good, but box jumping is not only about the jumping. No. Eventually you land. It's like, it's like

summiting a mountain. You need to get down. You need to get down. Or, or... Hahahaha! She got the jump. Maybe she's jumping on like a stage or a platform or something, but this plywood box is not built to withstand the impact of this Leviathan. Whatever's going on.

Yeah. Okay. Let's see what happens. Oh, boy. So she goes to jump off of it, but her, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Wiggling around yeah, and then she's doing power lifts for some reason yeah Oh, all right. Oh, thank you, okay? I Mean thank you. Thank you. I Mean what is this? I mean like she has some strength Yeah, sure All right, she broke her leg. Okay.

Good one. God damn. Uh, hey Dick. Terch from the We Only Do One Take podcast here. We do a similar segment on our show called High Calorie Individual News. It's good. Yeah, it's a good, it sounds very official. H-C-I, H-C-I-N.

They're high calorie individuals. That's funny. High calorie news. That's funny. High calorie individual, person of high calories. You gotta make it like an acronym though. Yeah. You know, like a chin acronym,

a calorie high individual news or something like that. Where we look at fat women doing stuff. Thought you might like this. This is the real reason why women are not losing weight. They don't know how to exercise. Here's some examples of what they think exercise is. Women bell cardio, okay. Middle-aged women doing anything not to, It's a bunch of women with, like,

buckets that you have beers in at a party, and then they have exercise balls on them. And they all have drumsticks? This person's leading the pass. What the fuck are they doing? Now they're all drumming with drumsticks? Yeah. Let's see.

They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming.

They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. They're drumming. That's the exercise?

They're playing drums on exercise balls. On exercise balls. On exercise balls. Yeah. Okay. That doesn't really feel like it's burning calories. I don't think it's doing a whole lot. No, I don't think so.

It's not even as good as the shake weight. Yeah, and the instructor is fat as hell. That's always a bad sign. Okay, women ball cardio too. Oh, they love this apparently. Wow, all right. This is a new thing. Okay.

It's a new trend. Got it. Get your gals together, get some drumsticks, and just drum on a ball. Drum on a big inflatable workout ball. Isn't this appropriating some African tribal thing? Somebody should be pissed off about this. Yeah, somebody should stop this. What the fuck is this?

It's the new Super Bowl halftime show. And they learned the choreography. Is this the NYPD? The women's New York dance group? I know, right? Okay. Women's Cardio 3. What wouldn't women accept as a viable way of working out? What activity would they not accept? What the fuck is? This is a valid workout. You just, you sit here and like spin around.

Do the hokey pokey. We're doing exercise hokey pokey today. Yeah. Yeah, middle-aged women, okay. This is women in like moon boots? Yeah, whatever those things. They've got little springs on their shoes. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. It's like an oval that goes under their shoe with springs. Yeah, it flexes. That'd be cool to have actually. Sure. We should go to those classes. Are they drunk? We should go to those classes. Ah. Woo! Woo! And then we can not get rid of these things.

Are they drunk? It actually sounds, it actually looks kind of fun just to fuck around with those things. Yeah, this, this might be a workout. Well, yeah, I mean- This might approach workout levels. You're gonna sweat doing that. You're doing something. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, yeah, it's hard to, it's hard to knock it because we've got to find something. We've got to find some configuration of moving and music. It's a baby step thing. That does get you, you're going in the right direction. The drums thing, that's no good. That's dumb. That's dumb.

That's gotta go. Unless it's men doing the drumming and it's their wives heads on the you know their wife everything not the head chopped off everything yeah drumming on that might be not monsters here yeah not Kristi Noem over here skating all right skating question mark Uh... Yeah, I don't think this is working out after looking at it now. No, well, maybe not, I mean, yeah. That one's working out, it's like running around, but these ones that are just sitting there, they're not working out.

No. Skating would be a workout, if they were skating, but they're not. Okay. Thanks, Terch, from the We Only Do One Take podcast. Jasmine says, shapewear? Hey, Dick, I saw this ad for skins, shapewear. Yeah. While scrolling through TikTok.

And wow! That's all. Wow! Wow! Wow! I bought the viral skim dress and- Oh, no. Are you fucking serious?

You know, okay there's- What the fuck is this? Well there's- She's had a, how many babies did she just have, eight? It's just- Octomom? There's oddly fat, we've talked about this. You know where like, they're normal in most places

and then there's just like this area where it's, I almost, I look at it like a dog that just heard a funny noise. Like, huh? Like, I'm confused by this. Okay, so she's got a... Glamzilla is right. Ha ha ha ha!

Why I love skims. Wow. All right, well... Is she wearing? I hope this is the before. This is the before, yeah. And not the way before. Skims is a thing that you put on your, the camera on your phone so it can never record

anything again. Oh. It fixes this problem. This amazing device. It looks a lot like black duct tape. And then women buy it and they put it on their lens on their phone so no one could ever see them again. As you can see, it's not that flattering on me.

Like we're all jiggly everywhere. But wait, wait, you're going to be shocked at the difference. This is the seamless sculpt body suit. I swear by this. Okay. Doesn't seem like all of this will get into this well it will hold on Let me show you it's like a python swallowing a yeah hippo Wait, is this the after? Yeah, I mean, you know, it's It does do it does do you know a lot? Doesn't look that much better. I mean, it looks better.

It looks better, but... What do you expect? It's miracles? You shouldn't be going outside. The Skims isn't doing it. That's... Look. Wait a minute. There's just something... People look better wearing different outfits. Like, this is not... Look at this. Look at this. That's just like a minute. There's just something people look better wearing different outfits like this. Look at this. Look at this

That's just like a blob This looks like a lymphedema except your whole torso. Hold on. Let me show you. Let's see it That does not that's not a good endorsement. Well, it's it's It's less than what people are thinking. I think it can do Mmm, they need to tighten the they need to tighten the skims up I think. She passed out like three seconds after she did this. It's all lopsided too. It's all crammed over here. Yeah well that's where it's gotta go somewhere I mean it's got a fold on itself or

yeah no but you just don't need to wear. And look how much I've pushed up my boobs. I'm a skims girl. I was gonna be a Skims girl. Before... That's even worse. What a remarkable transformation. That's even less of a transformation. Here's why it's bad though, because what Skims does is it takes the fat woman and gives you a fat woman with attitude.

Oh. fat woman and gives you a fat woman with attitude. Glamzilla. Oh, oh no. What the fuck is makeup sponges? What? So believe it. She's going to eat them or not. This is a makeup cleansing sponge cloth. And it expands when lifting touches it. It looks like strawberry wafers. And you know those toys that expand in water?

Well, this is supposed to do the exact same thing. And I figured, what if I expanded with makeup remover? Let's try it out. I'm going to use the Neutrogena makeup remover. The what? Okay, I'm just going to pour that on here. See what it does. Got it everywhere but there.

I'll be back in two seconds. I'm just going to pour that on here. I'll be back in two seconds. Oh my gosh, it's expanding and sucking in all that makeup remover. Is this when you're using makeup on an industrial scale? The expanding removers, you can just leach it onto your face. Strap them on your hands like they cover your entire head. Don't have to go to bed. Then you wake up with these barnacles, sucked off all your makeup remover. You're wearing so much makeup that you need a tool to remove the makeup remover. Jesus, just be fat. What are you wearing makeup for?

Check out this dump truck. We painted a lady's face on it. Do you want to have sex with it? That's the demonstration, like the, you you know bounty paper towel cleaning up the spill as opposed to the other one We've made up this dump truck like Taylor Swift in order to God let's see if they can tell the difference Well, I was having sex with that dump truck. I noticed it wasn't criticizing me. So I thought something's up here. Wait a minute here. Who am I, gay?

Oh no, that's not her. No, no, clearly not. I love that hack so much. It's filtered as fuck. Let me show you how I use it with powder blush. So back in the day, they could paint powder. These filters are insane. Like it should be illegal. Yeah. How could they make TikTok illegal, but they can't make filters that make women skinnier illegal. Yeah. Riddle me that. I mean, it should also,

it's also an intelligence test for whoever's watching it. Cause if you can't tell that's fake. Bro, have you seen the AI pictures of women that guys are like fawning over? Yeah. But they don't need guys, it's like a picture of a, like a weird abomination, like a giant fat ass and huge, fat ass and huge tits that are bent in a odd way that looks like gross and guys are like, oh, where are you at?

Like, oh yeah. Well, these guys may have never seen the real thing. I guess so, it's pretty weird. Okay, is that it? Did she get any fatter as we go back? No, all right. All right, thank you, Rhinestone Cowboy, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Or Jasmine, thank you, you Jasmine. Okay one more. Okay. Manny Muskets sent this one in. back. Okay. Let's see what she got here. It's a big fat woman whose legs are about... They're big. Yeah, thigh to thigh. Is that a towel she's got? About 50 inches across. She could be tossing pizza dough. Look at that, how she's got? 50 inches across. She could be tossing pizza dough. Look at that.

She's got that up. Oh, two towels. Two towels. Yeah. She's got racing stripes. On the side of her... Whatever you call these. Flanks? Flanks, yeah.

Not thighs. Okay. I mean, this isn't twerking. She's bent over. Trying to twerk while using something that you would do for tricep extensions. Yeah. But she's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that.

She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that.

She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doing any of that. She's not doingerp while using something that you would do for tricep extensions. Yeah. But she's not doing any of that. She's... No, she's not doing any of it. What's being moved here? What is the...

The Earth. The Earth is twerking. Yeah. Oh shit, that bitch is twerking again. Why is this going on? She's stealing water? Is that what she's doing? Is it a fat joke or is it a cheap joke?

Whatever. She's probably never had water before. Oh. Just had Prime energy drinks and stuff. It's a big thing of apples here. She left those alone. I gotta steal all this water. I hate apples. I'm doing rich shit.

Okay. I gotta steal all this water. I hate apples. I'm doing rich shit. Okay. And she's walking like with a foam roller like it's Rocky Balboa. Yeah. So there was no working out in that video at all. That never has been any working out. Good times. Okay, thanks. All right, everybody. That's the Dix Show. Patreon.com slash The Dix Show.

We'll see you next, whatever, when it is we come out. I don't know. Sunday night, Monday morning. We don't give a fuck anymore. Oh, I played it late again! Presenting... Oh man, Vito is all about, he pitched this crazy idea about us going to Skankfest. It was like a big comedy festival.

He's really pushing it as like a networking opportunity. Where is it? Vegas. Oh, come on, let's go. I asked the guys who run it if we could get free tickets. And they said, yeah, so let's go network. At Skankfest? At Skankfest.

I'm like, this is like, no. You're talking about going as, you're a fan. You asked for a free ticket, you got it. And you want us to go there and like network and pretend to like comedy sounds sounds like a fucking nightmare that's what that is skank fest is a comedy festival sure it's good but and it's not all women no amazingly it's all men skank fest it's all men yeah is

there a woman? I mean they call it that because it's funny. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to know. All right. I'm like tapped out. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I don't have room to do this. To network. Yeah, I can't. No, it takes too much. I can't even imagine doing it. It's too taxing. How you doing? Yeah.

Oh yeah, I saw your comedy bit on whatever. Yeah. Really, really, I really fucking laughed my ass off. It's so funny. You're so good. Yeah. Oh God. Can you imagine saying that?

No. To a man? Can you imagine saying that to a man? I never have imagined that though. A man younger than you. Yeah. Wow, I saw your comedy. It was really spoke to me.

Yeah, right. I can't believe that you said that thing. That you said. Yeah, man. Do you like me? Do you like me now? Do you want to come on my show? It's so desperate and sick.

That's what I said! I said the same thing and he goes, don't, he said you shouldn't be calling it desperate and sick. I'm like, I'm calling this. I'm calling networking desperateperate and Sick. If I didn't think that, I would be way further in my career. I mean, really, I just, I've never, I've never been able to do it. It just, it just feels, it feels gross.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I told him he should go. Like, well, you go. Yeah. I mean, you like that shit. I don't want to know more people because I'm going to fight with nine out of ten of them. Network for both of us. Yeah, you do it. You're way better at it.

You like people. You're good at this. I don't want to go meet anyone. I don't want to be alive. Yeah. This is...what you're talking about is a major part of life. This is a major problem for me Are we doing oh we can do a voice mail. I forgot to sign in though. How you doing? Oh Shane Gillis. Yeah Yeah, hot damn you were on SNL then you did the Chinese joke and you got not on SNL. Yeah, you got

Cancelled. Yeah, how about that? Are we friends now? You want to come on my show I asked the the bums versus drones Yeah, I come on. Did you see them bums versus drones? No Bums versus drones are people flying drones at b Dude, this is the funniest shit you will ever see. So fucking funny. Let me see if they haven't suspended him yet. Bums and drones.

Here are the fucking dogs running up and down. They know when we're done. Uh, yeah, okay, bums and drones, here we go. So he flies drones over almost encampments yeah and the homeless of course hate it yeah a lot of them are just paranoid but a lot but everybody hates yeah it's a fucking making fun of you yeah so the homeless people get really pissed off yeah you want a fight okay you want a big fat guy and the fat guy to show the

drone whose boss is making motions and throwing semen at the drone, right? Then the bum started throwing their shit at the drone You wanna fight you wanna fight you We got a pretty nice tent right there. Yeah they do. Maybe they're recently homeless. And the old guy takes a running start to try to get the drone down. This is wild. It's great. There's a guy who starts shooting at the drone. And then he drops them stuff if they're being good. Oh my god. He drops them stuff if they're being good.

Oh my God. He drops them cigarettes if they're being good. This is sick. This is fucking totally. So now this is comedy. This is the guy I want to meet. Well, let's put- I asked him to call in and he goes,

well, I just got hit up by the FAA. And I said, you know what? He goes, maybe later. And I said, you know what? You're not the first guest I've asked on who said they can't because they're being investigated by a three-letter government agent. Yeah, sure sure don't worry about it Shit's hilarious, but I guess it's I guess it's better than I guess it's better than bum fights Yeah, I don't really like I mean it's kind of yeah, I mean it's

Let's see here. Oh yeah. Look at this. He's a homeless lady. Look at all this trash. Yeah, they're fucking fucking. They really hate the drones. Look at the state of this homeless area. Look at a bunch of trash all around. Fucking clean yourself up. Okay.

But people are, they're all, they all throw their shit at the drones. Yeah. There's lots of rocks there, dude. There's a gas can here. Why is he throwing it over there? Is there another one? Maybe the guy's assaulting them with multiple drones.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Multiple angles. Right. Dude, this is like, this is really new comedy. You would think that there'd be one athlete in the bunch. In the homeless? Yeah. Oh yeah, look, you can see all the other drones.

So this guy comes in like a swarm. And gets... So this guy comes in like a swarm and get hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahah We've never had the ability to fuck with the homeless without getting dirty. Yeah. Without endangering ourselves. You came pretty, fairly close to that one I think. Let's see. Oh! That was a fucking big bust up there. Good one.

Good one. All right. Do you know how good one of those guys is going to feel like if they knock one out of the sky and just destroy it there's it's gonna piss off Whoever's flying it cuz like you know they're gonna you know that's gonna make them mad You got a route for the homeless Like yes, yeah, it's way win. Yeah, if the homeless gets it. It's great. Yeah, but if they don't it's like look at them They're fucking retarded

There's one guy who's shooting at the drone. This black homeless guy pulls a gun out. I don't know how he's a gun, he's a homeless. Oh, they? He should go steal a house. Get him, yeah, I mean, yeah. He pulls a gun out and starts shooting at it and he eventually gets it.

It's pretty good. Wow. Okay, let's see here. Here we go. Hey, Dick, it's Sean. I'm an insurance adjuster, and this last week you were talking about that lady who hit a yellow pole. And people hit yellow poles all the time, and then you try and say, no, I didn't hit anything. A car hit me.

It was a hit and run. I don't know what happened. And it's always cars covered in that shitty yellow pole paint that kills fire hydrants and poles. And I guess, no, you definitely hit a yellow pole. I know you're lying. So you tell me the truth or I deny your claim. That's it.

I thought you'd enjoy that. His whole job is- Fuck you, Dick. Listening to people lie about hitting poles. Sure. This yellow car hit me. Right. Yellow car covered in poles. A yellow car hit me right at the side of the car hit me. Right. Yellow car covered in poles.

A yellow car hit me right at the side of the car and the turning area. Right. Okay. Okay. Can we make this quick? I have to go to another appointment where someone else lies about hitting a pole.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Hey Nick, on the last episode, you said that since OJ died, you're gonna have to find the real killer yourself. Well, I started to do the same because everyone was shitting on him when he died,

which was just so disrespectful to a man who rushed for 2,000 yards in a 13 or 14 game NFL season. But anyway, the boyfriend of Nicole Brown, like Roger Goldman or whatever his name was Ron going on a bar in LA that was like notorious for dealing crossword bubbles Didn't know that But yeah, there was four different employees about restaurant died in pretty similar ways or were like straight up shot out by the phone. Really? I don't know about that.

Look into it, O.J.'s innocent. This guy was singing in a voicemail though. You know what? I stand corrected. All I know is O.J.'s innocent. I'm not sure. I do know that, yeah, there was definitely like bartender, you know, like drug deals going on and shit in that place. And thank God for that. That's well known forever. Yeah

We got to get Weinstein out. OJ's dead. We can't help him. Okay, we got to get Weinstein out We got to go protest. I'm gonna go protest. How many yards he rushed for? Two he rushed for two yards and the course of a career. Yeah Somebody somebody somebody's bound to fall down. He could get a couple. They could let him out there like when those kids get leukemia and they let them like run and everyone pretends like it's cool, you know? Yeah.

Hey, all right, we're doing that thing where we let a kid who has cancer run around on the football field and everyone pretends they suck at football. Oh, wow. Oh, right, even with the players. Oh, man, that's my favorite thing. Do I have to have a dildo in my ass to come see it

or can I just come watch? No, you can just come watch. Oh, okay, cool. Sean, so making the rounds on Twitter, the governor, what was it, South Dakota or some shit? That's what we're talking about. Whatever governor, some lady, it's like her memoir. Talks about. Whatever governor, some lady in her memoir,

talks about how she killed her dog, like put her down because it was like untrainable. Making the rounds on Twitter for like, Oh, you know how horrible this woman is. And a bunch of other governors are putting like pictures of their dogs on. Yeah. Nice. It's fucking hilarious because she's going to lose her reelection whenever that is. And I guarantee it's obviously going to be because the, the Republicans are going to be like, Oh, kill the dog. Not going to lose her reelection whenever that is. I guarantee it's obviously going to be because the Republicans are going to be like, Oh, kill the dog. I'm not going to vote.

Mostly Republican women. I'm just going to call it right now. This bitch could do anything, right? She could do anything as governor. South Dakota probably win regardless as a Republican. This dog thing is going to be the highly contested issue. So I guess what makes me rage is- Can is going to be the highly contested issue. So I guess what makes me rage is-

Can't wait to see the campaign ads. Yeah, I like dogs, but it's a fucking dog, like, leave it alone. I'm just calling it now that voters are- Yeah, well, you know, it's pretty simple. All you have to do if you're trying to run the government is not talk about killing dogs. You definitely don't write a memoir where you're talking about how much fun you had

killing a dog. That's what it looks, the way she describes it is, it's like I hated this piece of shit dog. And this dog was untrainable, it was my dog. And this dog was having the time of its life just saying fuck you to me! That's basically

what she said! Instead it ruined our hunt just running wanted having the time of its life. It was a big little finger to me. I'm here to un-fez-ing this fucking cocksucker. She's telling the story as though she's the Dean in Animal House. She's telling, she's setting herself up as the villain. What's important is that she doesn't understand these concepts. Yeah, I know, because she's stupid.

Get her out, because she's fucking stupid. She's fucking retarded. Get rid of her. Yep. Yep. This fucking dog. Yeah. You believe this shit?

Yeah. It's real easy to not talk about the time you killed the dog. Yeah, it is. Nobody's asking. Yeah. That's why. Right. That's why.

Hey, I'd like to run the government. Oh yeah? You got anything, uh, why should we let you run it? These people love killing dogs. Wha- what does that have to do with- They're so fucking divorced from reality. Or- or accountability? Oh yeah, right.

You know, she's on there arguing that it's legal. No one gives a fuck if it's legal! Right, right. They're wondering what's wrong with you! Right. That made you want to tell this story! Yes. Did you not see Marley and me? Do you not understand that being being aggrieved and

inconvenienced by your dog is like a part of the American culture? Yeah, and you know, if you not understanding that means you don't understand her anything else that we value. Yeah You get something's wrong with you. Huge movie. Everybody knows about it. What's the plot? Dog sucks, totally untrainable, fucks up his stuff, but he suffers through it. Right. That's the movie. Yeah. Just like we do with you guys, actually.

We're all suffering a lot because supporting a fucking woman, but we're dealing with it. Nobody says I couldn't train that bitch, took her outside and fucking shot her. Okay, so, look, I hear me out. I think we're going a little too hard on the Tucker thing, just specifically because like, yeah, you went on Joe Rogan.

You're going to talk about aliens. You're going to talk about this. You're going to talk about all that shit. And I get it. Retarded, though, we lack a deal. I'm not saying I agree with everything that he says, but at the same time, I think the people that like him, like him because of how well he does his job

as a journalist, not who he is as a person. Kind of like Trump. Like that's the thing about people on the right is the people they idolize tend to be people who excel well at what they do. Go fuck yourself. do. Go fuck yourself. They like him because of his job as a journalist. Tucker Carlson, I think they only like Tucker Carlson because he makes that face. Like,

can you believe how stupid these liberals are? That's why they like him. Well, cause he says what they want to hear. It's by the way, it has nothing to do with being a journalist. He's not doing any journalism. Tucker Carl to do with being a journalist He's not doing journalism at all At all Man no Fuck fuck insane conspiracy shit like fucking stop We had a there was a nice opportunity we had,

you know, people, whatever, non-liberals to own science and to say, look, we're actually gonna do, we're gonna really focus on science shit. COVID basically destroyed what was left of the middle class and gobbled up all the money for everyone and now everyone's fucking poor. This time we're going to focus back on science shit.

We're not doing anything dumb. We're going to figure out the economy. We can't have mortgage rates. Can't be what they are. We had a real nice opportunity for that. And then when you start throwing out, as soon as God and aliens and shit come in, like, oh, evolution's not real. Like, oh, bro, who is this helping?

Yeah. Evolution isn't real yeah okay well basically every smart person I know now has infinite ammo to take out on me and you take on you vis-a-vis me I can't defend that shit I can't defend anything else you want to do. Sure. All right. What do we got? We even, fuck, it's a long show. Oh, okay. One more.

Yeah. I didn't even look. Uh, uh, three and a half hours. Oh no. All right. Hey, Dick and Sean. There is nothing my wife hates more than you, Sean and Carl ripping apart the financial feminist.

That shit is so damn funny. You guys got to do that every month, man. Come on. I'll give you a lot of money. It's a good show. Thank you. I thought I said I'll give you a lot of money later. Or I'll give you a lot of money.

What would the financial feminists do? Buy a fucking coffee journal about it. Yeah coffee or go to Rome Have you been keeping your money journal? Yeah, yeah still nothing My gas hated it. Yeah, right hated it. That's right I bought gas, hated it. Yeah, right. Hated it, that's right. Bought some groceries.

Bought whiskey, hated it, but I'm addicted to it. So whatever. I bought two because it feels more pathetic going back to the store to buy another bottle so quickly than it does to buy two at the same time. Because Target won't get the big bottles. Fuck Target, fuck you. That's my money journal.

How'd you feel about it? Bad. Angry. Alright, goodbye. See ya, thanks.