The Dick Show - Episode 411 - Dick on Tankerbelle

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

A bunch of truck stop hogs go on the attack, a bunch of green energy property tax scams, a guy's testicles get twisted, homless Cheers in San Fransisco, the diversity awards, time off for periods, throwing babies into dumpsters, Romeo and Juliet, 20 Indian men stuck on a ship, and men in gaming; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Yeah, okay, that's that's working Vimeo is working of course. Oh, yeah, let's see rumble God I miss you too Making fun of your dead son. Yeah, I'm sorry. Please. Give me my account back. Ah Okay, that's good There we go late as I was saying I, I'm nothing but nice to this homemaker, courty clown. Really? Trying to bring some comedy into his miserable, pointless life

while he caroms around from one interest to another hoping it'll get bringing some satisfaction. It never does. And by nice, you mean? Bringing the comedy in to his miserable life. Like I said, his pointless miserable life. I'm nothing but nice to him and he's calling me fat. Really? Well, he's calling you a lot more than that.

What is he calling me else? Well, look at the paragraph he wrote. Gay? I like penis in my butt? I think he said bum. Makes me cum? Oh, Felice. Oh, boy, the gamer words. Come on now, gamer words. Come on, buddy. Trying to bring some comedy into your pathetic, meaningless life.

This is how you repay me? On this, the day of my daughter's wedding? I picked a fight with some truck stop pigs this week online. Truck stop pigs. Well, yeah, I mean, you know. However you want to describe them. Truck stop pigs. These women, these women, they all sit around and tell each, gas each other up, telling

each other how beautiful they are. And then none of them are. They all look like trash. They have entire Bible verses tattooed across their stomach. One of them's got traps like Goldberg. Oh, wow. Yeah. There's a reference.

I don't even know how you get that. They're in like a muscle mommy Dom Kink thing. And they've got all their simps charged up to attack. This bitch looks like John Travolta in drag. Let me show you. Let me show you what I mean. All these pictures of this in the pigs. All I said was you look like shit. And then this activated the truck stop pigs. I'll got in their big rigs

Oh boy coming after me. Oh, but women they can't convoy I got they assembled themselves into a convoy like Optimus Prime and they started coming after me exactly We're gonna find you on the freeway and just box you in and then run you off the road with their bodies and their traps They're gonna do that you off the road. With their bodies and their traps they're gonna do that. Look she looks like John Travolta in drag that's all I'm saying. You know that's all I said. It's not inaccurate. Well according to her it's just totally inaccurate. I don't know. Come on man where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Yeah, that's, yeah. I'm trying to put it up here, Sean.

Like, you know, you could say that could be somebody in drag. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. There's enough to wonder about. Yeah, that's all I'm saying, man. I don't think it is, but. Probably not, but you know, you never know. And you don't wanna assume. I don't wanna, is, but... Probably not, but you know, you never know. And you don't want to assume.

I don't want to... You know the funny thing about like kind of manish looking women these days is you just, everyone thinks they're trans. The trans shit is so prevalent that like we can't, we can't even tolerate manish looking women. 100%. I don't know, man.

Maybe it is a trans, I don't know. I have thought that multiple times. I can remember like,. Maybe it is a trans. I don't know. I have I have thought that Multiple times I can remember like no it's probably then you start looking at other things, you know, you're like, okay What like but I'm the problem is I'm not immediately sure anymore When it comes to bad, they're usually both bad at insulting you but slightly bad in different ways the trans The trans insulters are obsessed with you wanting to fuck them and jacking off to them all this shit and the fat women, on the other hand, just want to insult your looks, which, as a man, I don't care about. You can post my own picture to me as much as you want. I don't care.

I know what I look like. Never in my life have I thought I look good. Why would this? I'm not, you know, posing as a thirst, posing as a whore online to make money with lips that I've inflated with a futon for filler. Right. Looking like a horse's asshole is on my face. Right?

That's not my trade. That's your business. I don't go around saying, hey everybody, check me out, I'm so good looking. You're gonna love my podcast. Well, make sure you listen on the radio. Because, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, they're doing to you what would hurt them. Right! They can't, they don't even have the theory of mind to say,

oh, men don't give a shit what they look like. Yeah, I could get them on something else Literally anything else you know pick the very least thing that I care about although I think the small dick you know mine has been has been depleted of any resources anymore at one point I don't have a small dick what the fuck yeah, yeah But that's like where they go you're're ugly, you have a small dick. It's like everybody's heard that. The only reason they can think of your dick is because every once in a while it's inside them.

They can't think of anything past this their own, you know, skin and bodily autonomy. So this bitch is telling me that I have a big forehead. I'm like, honey, you got... there's a lot going on. But then all of her, you know, the rest of her convoy joined in. Oh. Just a waste of time.

Is this just a random person? Oh man, speaking of women, my fucking truck finally got tagged, finally got hit. Someone finally, and I know exactly, I can see it. I can see it like I'm imagining a pinball machine rape I can just see See the car backing out the same way mine got hit out in front of your house I put you know might have been fucking person by a woman you know who from we're talking about I

Instantly did you do this honey? Did you do this to my car? I'm gonna make you answer three times Right and I'm gonna ask it three different ways? I'm gonna ask it three different ways to make sure that the answer is always no. Were you aware that my car was hit? No? So you weren't looking at my car whilst you were backing out then? That's busted! One more question! I'm the ding Columbo. I can come into your place of business and suss out the woman that's been scratching everyone's cars with their bumpers.

They got the bumper, the camera in the back now. Oh yeah. For women, so... I mean, women are now backing up in reverse in areas that scientifically they were not engineered for. Gotcha. And they're doing it in speeds that you... For men, the backup camera is an for. Gotcha. And they're doing it in speeds that you, for men the backup camera is an assist. Yes.

Like I'm, I take, I trust the camera but I'm gonna verify it with my own brain. Right. Right. When it starts beeping I go, I don't know, but women are just like full gas and then it turns red and they slam on the brakes. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Can we get some wider lenses on these? Can we hit up the James Webb pr- My girlfriend's car has two different views in the back. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, it will go wider. Oh, that's good It's pretty cool. They need one for the front too. Yeah Basically, they need you know, like a spider Around the whole thing. Yeah, so my finally got in, I know exactly what happened. Some woman was pulling out. Where was this? I don't know.

Oh, really? I discovered it on my own later. No letter, at least put a picture of your tits on the, even if you're fat, I'll still want to see it. You owe me. You fucked up. Now the car's ruined. There's no point in trying to maintain it, wash it.

I'm just gonna kick it. I rest boxes against it now. I would have never like, oh, hold on, I gotta get something else. I'm resting a box on it. Like I would have never done that before this. I know. I fucking hate that. It's like, you can't, it's just, it's gonna happen. Like you hope it doesn't, but like it's, every car I've ever had somebody has hit like to a point where I can't hide it and like there's money better spent, you know, I mean on other things. Not in this economy. So it's like, am I going to fucking fix it? It's like, ah, now I don't give a fuck about it.

Just whatever. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. So where is it? I'm scrapping stuff to the roof. I don't even care anymore. Who cares?

Fucking, I'm driving two inches away from a semi on the freeway. Who fucking cares? Right. Kick up rocks. I don't care. Yeah, go ahead. Give me all the rocks you want. It's already ruined. It's already ruined.

I don't fucking care. Wait, where did you... So where did you discover it? Where was it? At home, but I'm sure it happened at Pilates. Where's the only place that I encounter women on the reg? Right? I'm sure... Do you go to that place... Do you go to the same place that I encounter women on the reg, right? Do you go to that place? Do you go to the same place in Hollywood you used to go to?

Hollywood? No, I go to... I don't know the name of where it is. I don't know why I thought it was Hollywood. Oh, no, it's not Hollywood. So that happened. Oh yeah, let's start the show. I don't want a 40-minute, you know, cold or hour and a half cold. Yeah, it was a while. So my day is ruined, uh, because of the car, situation. I built a bed for the back of it too. Oh, you're saying that. Yeah!

Welcome to Dick. You want Dick? You need Dick? You love Dick? You got it! This show ends the contest coming to you live from Mountain Bunker Deep in the heart of student failure. I'm your host Dick Maddison, the $20 million dollar man! Joining me as always is world tourney LA based comedian Sean the Audio Engineer.

Hello Dick! What's up buddy? How you doing? I think this is an inappropriate mask that someone sent in. What do you think about that? They said give this to Vito. I'm like I don't think a half pig mask like Eyes Wide Shut style sex party mask. It's actually pretty scary to look at.

Scary, how does it look at? But Vito, he wanted to wear it for like, he charged somebody like 500 bucks to wear this thing on her. Seriously? Yeah, this is a scary mask. It is a scary mask. I'm gonna put this on if somebody breaks in.

There's something about- To my house. There's something about humans wearing pig face that is like, it's a lot scarier than a pig could ever be, you know? Yeah! Now I'm gonna eat you. That's what I look at. It looks like a Chinese pig. It kind of does, huh? Yeah, it's kind of, yeah. This is too mean. You can't send me pig masks. No. Because I have to pass it forward because of my journalistic integrity.

How could you not? You sent it in, so I need to pass it forward, but I don't want to. I don't think it's appropriate. No, you wouldn't do that on your own. I wouldn't do that on my own. Oh, man, I was building a bed for my truck. You know what I was saying?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, for camping and stuff. That's good. Yeah, a bed and a truck. That'd be fucking awesome. Should have done this eight years ago. I bet. I don't know what the hell's the matter with me. Fucking around with air mattresses and shit. The air mattress where if you if you roll over to like a little bit you just um my shoulders I'm just sleeping on rocks right. Yeah. I lay into it and catapult my girlfriend off the side of it. So I'm up with my dad he's helping me you know make it he's got better tools than me. Yeah no of it. So I'm up with my dad, he's helping me, you know, make it.

He's got better tools than me. He's got a bigger garage. It's a monkey pot. Does it attach to the side walls? No, no. It sits in there. Yeah, it sits in there. It's just a little frame that sits in there.

Now, you don't have any... There's no like wheel well... Your wheels don't... The wheel wells don't encroach on the bed, do they? Well, that's part of on the bed, do they? Or do they? Yeah, they do. So you gotta make it thinner

and then put it above the wheel wells and put the plywood on there. Got it. My dad has got great tools. He knows what he's doing, but he always does the, I said, hey, we're cutting this plywood, right? Let's clamp a two by four on it. So the, you know, so the hands, the circular saw,

whatever that handheld one is called. Yeah. So it goes straight, right? He's like, well, we got the line. I'm like, ah. Yeah, okay. Well, you know, it just goes slow. And I'm like, ah, ah, come on, come on, man. So I clamped it on the one.

It's like, okay, fine. You want the clamp fucking, I know he's thinking, gay motherfucker. Yeah. Tell me how to fucking. So he starts the next one. He's like, okay, fine, you want the clamp? I know he's thinking, gay motherfucker, tell me how to fucking, so he starts the next one, no guide whatsoever, and goes at the end, and sure enough, whirr. Oh, what's this?

Into the side you didn't want to turn it. That doesn't matter, it's a big fucking, you know, like he's signing his name, er, straight, er, last eight inches, whirr. I got, come on. But you can fix one, you can fix one you can fix once you know no no no we're not fixing anything just letting it sit that's funny I'll come back in a couple day if it's a problem I'll start you know quote

unquote fixing it and destroying it we're not making we're not making you know fancy furniture here like yes's such thing as making it straight anyway. It's not, yeah, no shit, it's not fancy furniture. It's just like a couple minutes it will take. I know you have clamps. Don't, he's like, I mean, maybe I've got clamps in the back somewhere. Maybe I got them stashed away.

I've never used them, obviously. I know you've never used them. I don't see anything straight around here it's not one straight thing in the fucking I gotta sleep on that crooked thing knowing that it's crooking that it's crooked yeah I could have done something about it but I didn't well Um, funny. Um, you ever, uh, No. What do I got? Not even once.

Free beer in, free beer in San Francisco, I found out today. Really? Yeah, if you're walking around San Francisco, if you're a bum, you just, they got like a free cheers for bums. Really? You just walk in and grab a beer. Wow. For like addiction, it's like a response to an addiction center.

Yeah. Yeah, you just walk, but it's like a bar. It's like a... It's a response to an addiction center? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they got so many addicts, right? So they want to keep the addicts safe in San Francisco, right? Yeah. Keep them from fucking fiending, maybe. You can't be fiending for anything. Yeah, you might take something from somebody. You might take... If you're in need of an IPA, you know, you could get fucking hazy fever, right? You could get some... If you're in need of like a Pliny the Elder or something to whet your whistle as a homeless crack addict, fentanyl addict, you might need yourself a nice Corona with lime.

They've opened a bar that you can just walk in and it's manned by I mean who knows people who are Indistinguishable from the homeless themselves. I want to see pictures. I want to go Well, I was gonna say I was gonna ask you about all those dirty clothes you had laid out there That's a that's a trap for bums. I'm trying to lure them over so I could get it Oh, I thought you were gonna put them on take a drive and pretend to be a bum. Yes Dress up so I could get free beer. Yes get a bunch of stink all over me Hey, I probably can't find it anywhere Yeah, I don't have it. I just read about it. It sounds pretty good. Yeah. Yeah

Here's what makes me a rage this week You know people are not people are inherently nonviolent. I don't know if you knew this. Well, it's- It's like, that's why they like tough talk so much. Right. Because they are not violent. Yeah, true.

They get in fights, they would prefer to rub their nipples together, you know, they prefer to be tough talking. And feel like they got the better of the other guy without actually having to do anything about it. They prefer sports where the violence is heavily constrained and violating the rules is subject to a massive penalty.

More than any other sort of infraction. There is something about fighting in hockey. He takes a couple cheap shots, fucking is loose with his stick, fucking a lot of, you get frustrated and it kind of, I do kind of buy into that. It sort of, sometimes I think they can keep the game from getting out of hand.

Fights? Yeah, in hockey where it's just like an out. Everyone's got a knife. Like you don't want somebody pissed off and doing fucking pinwheels and cutting throats, right? That's what's gonna happen. I mean, it has happened, not purposely, but yes, I mean, people have had their throats cut

on the ice, yeah. You gotta let a little bit of steam out. But you picture, you know, even normal people, you picture someone breaking into your house, and you're like, well, I mean, I don't know, do I gotta like shoot? Yeah, I guess I could shoot him, yeah. Somebody's breaking in like, oh God, ah, ah, ah, ah!

But you gotta physically fight him and gouge his eyes out, like, ugh, it's kind of stomach churning, right? Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. Or you wanna, you picture like? You know maybe you're gonna. Maybe you're gonna go back in time and kill baby hitler right of course that would probably be rough the old They're yeah killing the bay a baby. Yeah, right. I saw a baby a woman throw a baby into a dumpster what that's weak Let me see if I let me see if I can find that Let me see if I can find that. Woman alert.

That's right. Woman alert. I guess the fire station baby abandoning boxes are not convenient enough. We need to make some dumpsters. It says baby. There's recycle. There's, you know, there's organic waste, you know, yard stuff. Yard waste. Oh, this is not a video? Oh, you know yard waste

Here. Oh, this is not a video. Oh you fucker. Here it is. Here it is Here's the bit and the woman dumping the baby in the look at this watch this Not even dropping it in tossing it from the car I don't have time for this shit Not even dropping it in, tossing it from the car. I don't have time for this shit. Whoa, get out of here. Hey, Zeus, nice knowing ya. Six hours later, somebody found somebody probably digging around for fentanyl or something in the dumpster. Can you just-

Found a new baby. Can't you just, if you can positively ID her, can you her, can you just...can you just execute her at that stage? Oh, come on! Just get her...I don't know, just get her sterilized. It was even harder. You can't let her have another kid. I don't know. Something tells me she makes like just awful decisions with everything. You think she's in jail going and somebody's like, you know you could just drop babies off at the fire station, it's totally legal.

Like what? What? What? Really? Why didn't anyone tell me that? You know what honey, that's a good question. Why was anyone trying to teach you fractions when they should have been telling you

where to dump your baby off? I 100% agree with you, 100%. I've never agreed with anything, any statement more than that. Why didn't anyone tell me? I don't know. I don't know why you were not equipped to deal with life. What a cool-

But you weren't, you clearly weren't. No. You had a higher chance of needing to dispose of a baby than you did knowing what a common denominator is. What a quality human being. The system failed you. You go back in time and you're supposed to kill baby Hitler or whomever. Whomever you want to kill.

Baby Churchill, maybe, I don't, baby Archduke Ferdinand, I guess, would have started. Baby Eisenhower, I don't know, who started the military industrial complex? Who was the one that who was the one that? Baby baby God what's what's the bad guys names the the banking guys? You know what mr. Monopoly? Who is the starts with an R? It's not Rockefeller Well, I mean not Morgan. No not Morgan. Why can't I remember this fucking name? I've been slacking on my Rothschild Rothschild. That's it a baby Nathan Rothschild on his way over to America Maybe I could gin up some anger for that right? Yeah, but it's difficult to think about this level of violence unless

I'm picturing a Environmentalist Climate change warrior. warrior, who's let's use the power of the government to force people to do all this green shit and fuck the consequences. No such reservations about, and pure white rage against these people who in the name of saving humanity and the planet would force through endless programs and legislation and bullshit to try to accomplish a task that is retarded on its surface. What are we talking about again? I'm talking about green shit.

No, I know. Green, sustainable shit. I'm talking about my white. No, I know. Green, sustainable shit. Yes. I'm talking about my white hot rage. Yes, okay. Where it's green, so. I got it. A friend of mine's mom just died. Yes. And he says, there's something weird with the property tax on our house though.

So what do you mean weird? He goes, look at this property tax. So Bill, houses, you know, this house was bought in like the 60s. Property tax should be a couple hundred bucks. Well, unless they reassess it, which they do. They didn't. He goes, look at this.

Look at this bill. Yeah. Bill's- By selling the house? No, but there's a property tax, there's a lien on it. And he goes, look at this. What's going on here? And he said, what's this?

1800 bucks for property tax? That's odd. But I mean, you mean,800 for property tax? That's odd. But you mean like your yearly property tax? Twice a year. So it's total $3,600. That's fucking... Still seems cheap to me. Well, yeah, but this is an old person we're talking about, right? They're on a very fixed income.

So he goes, yeah, look at this. It's called the... There's one standout thing. It's a hero loan. It's a hero loan. It's a hero loan. I said, what is that? That's odd. I said, look at this. Apparently, the government decided to let

a bunch of solar people go around and sell solar panels to old people with the wonderful proviso that they can put this loan conveniently on their fucking property tax. Yeah, yeah, I don't doubt it. So a bunch of old people living social security check to social security check. conveniently on their fucking property tax. Yeah, yeah, I don't doubt it. So a bunch of old people living social security check to social security check.

Because they are the most like defrauded group, right? Because they have no fucking idea what's going on. What's going on, yeah. They can't even understand. It looks official to them, it like, yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, it's a real predatory shit. So he's like, look at this, this has been happening since 2016.

Yeah. And I'm like, but there's no solar on the house. He goes, yeah, there isn't any solar. You're right. You've identified a key a key issue right a key issue with this scam Yeah, wow, they went around the most the biggest scumbags on the planet I swear to God the next solar person that comes knocking on my door during dinner I remember I'm putting in the fucking septic tank out front I remember the 80s like people were doing so I'm gonna grind them up with a fucking- with an old-style meat grinder from the thrift store

And it's gonna feed directly into the fucking access hatch of the septic tank and that and the next guys too And I'm going solar panel guy after solar panel guy grinding them up with a fucking organ music going in the background like Seinfeld Da da da da da da da And I'll feel absolutely fucking nothing! I'll feel nothing doing this! Unlike killing baby Hitler, which I would go, ah man, who's gonna be the bad guy now? Just let him into, yeah. I mean, I don't know, maybe I'll give him some love.

Maybe you could let him into art school or something. Maybe I'll buy one of his paintings, right? Like a rich wife who thinks she's a painter. I'll be like Lord of War. I'll just buy his paintings. How about that? I'll go back in time, put a couple bucks in a bank account, then in the future I'll have enough money to buy enough of Hitler's paintings. But these solar guys, instant all of them done grind cards meat grinders whatever we're making That's fair so He's like yeah, look at look at all this it's been going back since 2016

3600 year 3600 year 3600 year like well how what do you how much are solar? How much was the solar panels that don't exist and he goes? 8 grand, but they put the fucking loan on the house for, um, 8% interest to be paid off over 30 years. I'm like, wait a minute. They went from, they went to old person to old person and sold them 40, they sold them $8,000 with a solar and turned it into 40 grand? And then they didn't install any of it? Well, that's what I mean. Did the old guy think he was buying solar panels?

Yes! And what happened when years- He said the next day, he said, I don't want him any, I changed my mind, I can't afford this. You said that the government was gonna pay for it, and then I found out that I have to pay for it. I can't do that.

When you said the government's gonna pay for it, you went found out that I have to pay for it. I can't do that. When you say the government's gonna pay for it, you're in through fucking property tax, which I can't fucking afford. Right? And this is everything they ever do. Everything these people ever do is, well, you know, somebody will figure it out. Does somebody who will figure it out? It's usually not worth the tax, you know, like, you know, breaks or whatever. Anybody else will figure it out because everybody else is just trying to live their life with a little bit of cash stuck away, right? Somebody will figure this out. Somebody, by somebody you mean some poor schmuck that you've incentivized objectives,

associopaths, fucking sales, solar sales, salesmen and specifically solar salesmen. So I said, really? Let me see some more of this. He goes, yeah. And it's like a whole list of law, tried to do the, tried to get rid of it, tried to get rid of it, tried to get rid of it,

tried to get rid of it for eight fucking years. Wow. Tried to get rid of it, tried to get rid of it, tried to get rid of it, tried to get rid of it. And he's like, there's nobody, they won't take it off. And it's something like, I don't know, does a lawyer get involved where it's like- What are you gonna sue the government? Well, I mean, where it's something like a, I don't know, does a lawyer get involved where it's like- What, are you gonna sue the government?

Well, I mean, where it's like, they put it in a, it's like, okay, we've shown a paper trail of trying to get rid of this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I have to do? Well, you gotta call somebody else, I don't know. I can't do it, I just put it on. Ultimately, if they say you owe the money,

you owe the money. They'll say, take your fucking house. You owe the money, right. Anybody else, you just say, oh, go pound money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money!

You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money!

You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! You owe the money! See what happens. See what happens. Yeah. He goes, you're gonna love this. He says, this is the, I've been trying to track this down. This is the email that the county sent me when I said, hey, what the fuck's going on

here? I don't have solar in this house. And it said FAQ for if you've been fucked over by this government program. I think it's pronounced fuck you. Yeah. By the way, they could just delete every, delete it for everybody. Yeah. You know?

Oh yeah. We recognize that everyone got fucked over. We're just gonna remove it from everybody. We're getting said database. Two. You know? Oh yeah. We recognize that everyone got fucked over. We're just going to remove it from everybody. We're getting a database. Two seconds, right? But, you know, I don't know. He goes, you're going to love this.

He goes, here's the FAQ for congratulations. You got fucked over by this obviously a fraudulent 8% scam from the from the green companies, right? Because they're amazing. Yeah. He goes, you're going to love it it look at the last FAQ item and the last FAQ item is if you're considering killing yourself because you have a lien on your home from this shit. What?

Yeah, the last FAQ is if you're considering fucking killing yourself because you are on social security you have no money to pay for this shit and nobody's helping you remove this. This is for- Here's a suicide hotline number that you can call. So I decided the next solar panel salesman or anybody else that ever wants to talk about any of this Korean shit ever again is going straight into the fucking ground. That's enough. Yeah, if you're not oh Man, well, it's good. Well, at least you got the solar right now. I didn't get the solar Oh, well, that's too bad amazing

Because a paper trail going back all those years like what should I do? Well, whatever you do? Here's a suicide hotline number just maybe the advice advice... Just give the money back. Is just don't say yes to any... Don't even... Even if you change your mind the next day and say, No, I meant no. Just don't even... It's extra fucked because it's kind of a good deal. Like energy in California is so expensive,

so it would be great. But then they have the audacity to put it on your property taxes as an 8%... 8%... That's......bone. That's insane. That's illegal in most other cases. Audacity to put it on your property taxes an eight percent eight percent that's Insane that's illegal in most other cases because it's so fucking high like why do you guys need? And then if you're saving the planet, why do you do it percent do it over 30 years, right? So you're making a my of course. Yeah, so your first payment you're paying about I don't know

Well, you're 5% of the principal That's what I mean. You're not paying any principal until it gets like more past the halfway point You know, I couldn't fucking believe it. You're making me defend Boehmer's. Yeah. Oh my lordy Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Yeah, that's uh, I've never and they're out there They're all there's all these people are doing this right now. Just why my property checks go up 90% We're doing this right now. Just why my property checks go up 90% It's okay, there's an 800 number here. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah That you got hit with that you here's an 800 number that you can call if you're thinking about killing yourself Yeah, what great?

God I hate the fucking government There you go. Palestinians throwing rocks at drones? That's pretty cool. Let's see. Israel posted this. We've seen bombs throwing rocks at drones, right? You know, I like to think we still got it, human beings.

If we're taking down drones, other animals can't take down a drone with a rock. Probably not. You feel kind of like a pussy seeing other animals attack other animals like wow bears pretty tough But then these fuckers can't do shit. What's a shark gonna do against a drone? Not a goddamn thing. Have you seen the drones that like land on the water and a white shark comes up and they're like Oh shit take off take off Here it comes Yeah Can you believe that shit? What's that that fucking loud shit? And they're like, oh shit, take off, take off! Here it comes! Yeah. Can you believe that shit? What's that?

That fucking lounge shit. Oh, that's, yeah. Man, you cocksuckers. They're just- You're taking all my social security money, giving it to old people, and then stealing it from them and giving it to the people, the fucking cocksuckers that I hate the fucking most!

Bro, they're the biggest gangsters there are. Like, that's it it the government is straight up I saw I saw a cyber truck this week to Cybertruck parts down the street. I said there goes the fucking neighbor. What the Elon Musk one? Yeah Oh, I dude I see a couple of them driving around North Hollywood. It is so fucking ugly It's more retarded in person than it is. And it can't park. It's parking with its ass sticking out. It's just because it's so fucking big. I shit you not. It looks like something that

George would make. Like his Sonic or something. It's so fucking dumb. And they're all driven by non-truck people. They're all driving by non-truck driving motherfuckers. I couldn't believe how bad it looks in person. Uh... yeah. Oh yeah, but... Here, I got another funny story. This is about green shit. Oh yeah?

It's war on the green people now. Yeah, alright, that's good. They don't think anything through! It's just everything... Yeah, nothing that cost me fucking anything and it's all on yeah We're gonna work the loan into your property tax hold up. Oh wait wait a minute Wait, you're that that means interest interest oh eight percent

Percent from 2016 yeah, oh And you let me guess you can't read you couldn't refinance this loan obviously when rates were like a negative You know half a when the government loans were at zero percent. This was eight real fucking nice Okay Tesla here it is all the bums in San Francisco are they're cutting the Tesla... here it is. All the bums in San Francisco are, uh... They're cutting the Tesla supercharger cables to sell the copper. Oh! Yeah, that's...

They're just saying it's a new mine they found, right? Symbol of activism. It's not. It's the area. Yeah. To sell the area. Yeah. To sell the copper. See that copper? That's juicy copper. I know.

Oh yeah. Let me get that copper. No, you don't understand though. We paid billions of dollars to put these supercharger stations. It's like a whole, the whole EV economy relies on, yeah, but that copper, that's going to make me three or four dollars. I mean, if you're not. Can you not?

No, no, no. I'm going gonna do it. Yeah. We're on the same side, us and the crack addicts. I mean, what do you think is gonna happen? Like that's- You ruined everybody's life to make these gay supercharges.

There's a reason why when you build new housing projects, there are normally guards at this stage. You know, there's security who hangs around. Yeah. Like at night and stuff like that. It would be illegal for the security to stop them in San Francisco, of course. Here's Palestinians throwing rocks at drones. So these are, yeah, I see. Attempting to innocent and uninvolved, this is the

Israel Post, innocent and uninvolved Palestinian citizens from Burka are attempting to stone Israeli drone conducting surveillance over grazing lands in the... Yeah. Get them. Get them. Get those fuckers. Get them. Come on.

Boy, that's a steady ass drone. Yeah, man. They're pretty good drones. Come on. Oh, wow. These guys don't quite have the arm, do they? I don't know, I mean, yeah, it's up there. They're gonna find the next Nolan Ryan in the

Yeah, right? Rocks of drones in Palestine. Climb over. Oh, they got a couple drones involved in this action. Yeah, I guess they, nobody hit it, I guess, huh? Oh, that was a good one. Oh, yeah? That one got knocked out of the sky.

Wow. Pretty good, pretty good. All right. Cool. Stay strong. good, pretty good. All right. Cool. Stay strong. Say no to drones. Say no to drones. Who is, who are the American people

supposed to side with on that? Got a bunch of guys throwing rocks at drones. I don't know, probably not the drone. I don't know. We're not really a drone civilization, are we, society, are we? I mean, maybe one day, you know. Maybe one day we could be a drone civilization.

We are just fucking talking monkeys. I think America kinda went anti-drone. Yeah, right? Well, that's a good segue for this. Let's see here. The mayor of New York says, illegals should come over and be lifeguards. I don't know why okay is you know illegal immigration is like a big topic right?

Eric clown Adams okay well maybe there's some benefits for illegals that we have let's hear about it. You're the mayor. You should have a good answer for this. Plan that states those jobs that we are in high demand, we could expedite. How do we have a large body of people that are in our city and country that are excellent swimmers. And at the same time we need lifeguards. And the only obstacle is that we won't give them the right to work to become a lifeguard.

What the fuck? Lifeguards? Why so random? Excellent swimmers. Is it like a superpower to him because he's black? It's like, oh man, these guys are fucking really swimming. We got to get them into lifeguarding positions. These people don't sink Like yeah. Oh, man. You throw these Mexicans in the water or whatever. We're bringing in they're fucking whoop Puerto Ricans are like ah

thinking Isn't that an odd? Isn't that an odd job to focus on why would that be a large body of people that are in our city and country that are excellent swimmers it's so weird that's so fucking weird where's that belt lasso guy get him in the kid, get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? It's an excellent swing, babe. Yeah. And they can't be lifeguards?

Why's this bitch nodding? Oh, that's true. Couldn't have said it better myself. Probably had some family members drowned or something. Yeah, probably is a big, big issue. Uh, what a fucking idiot. Wow, what a... Let's see what else I got here. Oh a period time off? Did you know they're giving that out? Women are getting period time off. I mean I'm not surprised. Oh yeah that's

true. Let me see here. Period time off. They're really happy about it. Bragging about it, of course. I guess... I don't know. I guess nobody needs to... I guess you don't need to work every day in the month. You could just work most of the days. What's the... do you were proud to receive the Diversity Charter Award? This is a video games company. This is a video games company. Yeah. The developer of, oh, The Witcher and Cy- oh, this is a big one. Okay. Okay.

The Witcher and Cyberpunk, one of the biggies. That's big. So this is going to flow down, I guess, to other companies now? We're proud to receive the Diversity Charter Award. What? What is that? For menstrual leave benefit in the category of... Wait, is this a real award? Do they have like the Oscars but for diversity people?

Hahaha! Biggest Re-Tard Award! For the menses. For menstrual leave benefit in the category of... Is this a joke or is this real? I know, it sounds like a joke. It sounds like a joke. It's like how far do you have to go to act to have an approach to diversity right? It's like what about people with freckles one day, you know or something. It's like I mean how you know how innovative are these people allowed to be? There is California diversity awards. Yeah. What?

The California diversity charter award. I mean that from, is that the same thing? Is that the same award? I don't know. The California Diversity Awards. Let's look at this. California Diversity Awards. Did they, no, this is yet to come. This is something different, right?

Yeah. I don't know if this is a sarcastic joke. I can never tell with women. For the category of innovative approach to diversity I got in the fucking blood drops as bullet points which honors organizations showcasing outstanding commitment to fostering and okay This is real. There's no way that's not a joke Because of the way it's written. Yeah fostering to inclusive work, but they would never make a joke like this This category is chosen by internet users. So thank you for everyone who voted for us.

Here's a summary of the impacts. There's the joke part of it. The category is chosen by internet. Hey internet, thanks. We know that you guys support women and get periods in video games. No, I'm being serious. That's the joke. It's like being, you know, like there's certain awards in sports that are voted on by the players, right? Like, so it's like, like who you think that like, yeah, exactly, so as opposed to like the sports writers or- Yeah, 39% of eligible reds have taken, is that what they call women?

Reds have taken menstrual leave at least once on a monthly average. But they don't say what RED stands for up top. I think it's women. They're talking about taking off work because of your period, right? On a monthly average, 11% of eligible REDs use this benefit.

So they have to say REDs instead of women because they can't say women? I don't know what REDs is supposed to stand for something. I'm sure it's an acronym. I don't see it up there. Really annoying, Danes. Annoying. 50% used menstrual leave at least twice

with 1% using it every month. So that's not very much. Rarely employed, what's the deal? Rarely employed, yeah. Dumb, broad, dozy, broad. These numbers along with the recognition we've received show that our Reds are using this benefit responsibly. Oh, okay. And highlight the safety and supportiveness of our workplace.

Oh, okay. So they got the sweet spot of women leaving because of their periods. That's okay. That makes... That's safe at least. At least we're getting some common sense women control, finally. But we're not stopping there We're now part of a career cycle a program initiated by the something foundation this initiative and unites organizations and companies that create an inclusive workplace environment by increasing awareness of menstrual health Okay, so they get to go home if they're like Having a period. Mm-hmm. That's good. Yeah the comments like, is this a joke? Is this for real? Is this a... I mean you gotta...

Yeah. What was the diversity awards part? I don't really care about the periods part. Diversity, you mean? But what was the innovative and diversity shit? It's like the Oscars for diversity? I guess it's back to, you know, the diversity is just women now for that, you know? Yeah. Back to women. Oh, thank God we're getting back to women. Right.

It's been, we've been talking about the other ones way too much. Now, what about trans women? Well, they call them reds, I think, for that reason. You know what? I think that could very well be correct. I don't know. Yeah. Because if you say women, you're going to ask my question.

Yeah, it's best not to assume with this stuff, I guess. Well, yeah. It's best not to read it. Let's see, bridesmaids, something about... It's best not to go out of the house or online. Just sitting in a room in the dark, figuring out, you know, thinking about... Yeah. Thinking about, uh... Just, you know, with the...

Was that a guy or not? I don't know about that one. Let's see here. Some guys dancing. Oh yeah, here's, uh, immigrants are bringing diseases in. I don't mean, you know... I guess they would be staggering 84% of measles in Chicago outbreak linked to Venezuelan migrants, the CDC report shows. Yeah, you know, I mean, does it make sense?

Yeah, they don't write. Can we they do like six feet of separation or something? Can we tell them to wear a mask? They don't all get, you know, they don't have the same, you know, vaccinations and stuff down there. They may have big measles outbreaks. We don't all get, you know, they don't have the same, you know, vaccinations and stuff down there. They may have big measles outbreaks from time to time. We can't force people to get vaccinated, Sean. That's crazy.

Meanwhile, the, this is what the, what is this? The Center for Humanitarian Health says migrants don't bring disease. In fact, they help fight it. Sure. So they're clearly, that sounds like a very left, like special interest group, you know, it's a lobby group, basically. Yeah. How about this one? Here's a woman that doesn't want you to use the R word anymore.

See if this is compelling. I've heard this argument before. Have you? It's retarded. But have you heard it straight from the horse's mouth? Here we go, this is a beautiful- Oh no, this is kinda fuckin', this is manipulative. What do you mean it's manipulative?

It's just a lady. Because it's a person with- It's a person with- It's a giftedly chromosomal lady talking about... I've been very clear. I use it for regular people with no kind of developmentally... Because they have a fucking choice. I actually think musicians have a right to this word more than chromosomally enabled people. Being called it.

Using it. Oh yeah? Retard was used before... Oh yeah, to slow down, to restore... Yeah, down syndrome shit was happening, so... Yeah, it's R-I-T-A-R-D, right? Oh, that's just Italian way of writing it. True, true. That's normal. But to retard is to slow, right?

Yeah, they appropriated it from us. The retarded people did. Here we go. Please stop using that word. They should have made music like kind of a retarded version of the... Like on the xylophone or something. Or like when Peter Griffin plays piano

and he's like a key off. It's like... Intervals are all weird. Okay, wait, sorry. Sorry to interrupt. Okay. Please stop using the R word. We revoke from your vocabulary.

It's helpful and not kind. If you see something, say something. What is this, a Department of Homeland Security ad now? If you see something, say something. How am I going to see somebody say retarded? If I say it to somebody, they deserve it. If you see something, say something. To whom?

What am I gonna get in a fight over? Right. Hey buddy. Right. This lady on the internet said that you shouldn't be saying that. And I think I saw a box cutter in her purse. She's wearing a jeans jacket.

Yeah. Okay. So... Alright. I know she's nice. Yes. Oops. Kebulari is helpful and not kind.

If you see something, say something. Saucy little... Because it matters. Please stop. Okay. No, it doesn't matter. Get the fuck out of here. We got way bigger problems than this. Well, here. We got way bigger problems than this.

Well, yes. You have way bigger problems than this too, honey. Yeah. You know, something tells me that she's put up to this. Oh, you think so? I do, yeah. You don't think she got it into her? I'm gonna go.

No, I mean, I think she understands that, you know, when it's used to people, you know, it's not a, it would not be a good thing to call somebody with a condition, you know, genetic condition. Oh, like who's actually a specially abled handicapped? Yes. Yeah. I wouldn't do it. That's just me. I wouldn't do it.

I don't think I've ever been mad at an actual chromosomaly or whatever they want to be called. Right, varied, uh, right. Varied, uh, giftedly, genetically. Yeah. You just don't encounter them that much. But it's- Tipped at the movie theater. No, not too much, but there are a lot of fucking retards out there.

And it's- Yeah, I agree. I say that because they have a fucking choice. Like you are choosing to be- They put her up to this. Ignor because they have a fucking choice. Like, you are choosing to be... They put her up to this! Ignorance. They put her up to this. You're choosing to be an idiot.

I'm the woman who dazed my car and put her up to this! I'll show these guys for calling me retarded. Because I can't drive or do anything and I didn't know how credit cards bills worked. I'll show these fuckers. I thought it was free money. I thought it was free money. I thought you were supposed to run your score down to zero. I kept bumping it against 500, couldn't get any lower. I'll show these fuckers. Hey Sally get over here

Put your jean jacket on make this video for me Okay, let me let me see here men are the problem women video gamers are are wildin wildin See they dress like hoes so men have gotten the come on now. Men have gotten the idea that they are hoes I think is the real issue well here that's because they're dressing like whores so guys are like oh I guess well you don't deserve any you know respect or anything like that. We're gonna treat you based on your sexuality and insult you based on your sexuality.

Because that's what you're showing me. Yeah, but I guess they're upset about it. Human last 10 minutes in a cod lobby is not, nor has it ever been a valid excuse for men to act like pieces of human garbage. This girl's right on the Latina edge. They go from here and then they break through and metamorphosize into the same shape, you know, with that mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth a sort of salsa fluid in there. And they come out. And they reform.

They harden and then. They harden, yeah. Or soften as a way of. Garbage in gaming. I shouldn't have to play a game where all I say is hi and the whole game is thrown and I'm in hell for the next 40 minutes because men are being emotional about it.

That is. What, really, hi? Hi, get out of here you bitch. Get back to the kitchen, you bitch! Shut up, you bitch! High elicits that kind of response? Is she going on camera, too? Like when you... Of course! Uh... This is the new way that women... This is the new softcore pornography for teenage boys, you know? We had the Spice... the scrambled up Spice Channel.

Cinemax after mom and dad go to bed. Like, oh yeah, let me crank up the Cinemax. Might see some tits. That's what they got now. They go on Twitch and yeah, they maybe see some tits. Maybe they should do some body painting. That's not normal. And that's not how the old cod days were.

Because I promise you, as a man, you have never had somebody throw on the basis of your gender. That doesn't happen. Sean, as a man, I've never been insulted based on my gender. Right, why would you? Never heard stuff like men are rapists. I'd rather live in the woods with a bear than a man. Because Ben's penises are too small. While a bear's...

A bear's a huge, normal, huge satisfying penis. You can say it happens. You're lying. I'm sorry. I don't know why that's such a common thing in the comments of my videos. You guys want to be oppressed so bad that you'll look at a man calling me a b---- telling me he's going to tell me to get back

in the kitchen and say it's not a woman thing, and say that that happens to you too. It doesn't. There is a reason that historically male- Yeah, cause people get made fun of back. That's how it works and you guys can't. Dominated spaces are known for being toxic and unsafe. That goes for gaming, that goes for sports.

Any male dominated space is a bad one. So stay out. That's not me being sexist. That is me saying there is an inherent issue with the way that you guys have your locker room talk that makes everybody else feel unsafe. I don't know how you could- You mean you. I just want to-

Women. Can she do like an honest experiment and say and act exactly like she does, but just wear something else? And see if the comments change. Put your tits out of the frame. Yeah. And you know what?

Exactly. You have to do it over an extended period of time, log your data, see what's going on, see the number of users who are on at any given time, like set up some kind of basic parameters where you're trying to remove, where you try to remove as many variables as possible. Yeah. You're not gonna get it perfect. Yeah. But you may have some of the people who knew you before yeah Come on, maybe maybe take out all the gigantic red flags that scream you're manipulating weak men For attention and money maybe maybe take the cash app link out of your bio Before you start crying about how guys are being mean to you online Yeah, cuz it's kind of like protecting. It's kind of like a defense mechanism.

Get this whore out of here. She's coming in here to tease vulnerable men and take their fucking money. Get out of here. Possibly find. I'm sure not everybody else is wrong over the Internet where nothing really fucking matters anyway. It's fun to make other people feel unsafe. No woman is asking men to make gaming a safe space with sunshine and rainbows and everything

but could you please be f***ing normal? Put a shirt on. Because I want to be able to enjoy playing the game without my life being threatened. This is not normal. Without my body being threatened because I'm existing as a woman. And men are the ones making it unsafe. I do not care if you feel targeted by me saying men or if you feel attacked by me saying men, you are part of the problem. If you feel attacked by that... Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Like, that's a... I don't think anybody like actually feels attacked by like how she's... Nobody, no one feels attacked. I'm just saying like... She'd be crying if she felt unsafe. Like you got your tits on a platter. Like that's... That outfit is designed to draw your eye to one place. Like this is how they... And you have your arms out of frame because your arms are fat.

The species works. Yeah. You're doing all kinds of trickery there. And we're wise to it. I'm just saying, like, just do my experiment. We're trying to protect these boys from you. Why should I have to do that? Look, because you know what you're doing by wearing that. You know!

You know it. You know it. Um... That doesn't mean like anything should happen to you, but you are... Nothing's happening to you. It's a fucking video game. You're listening. Like, you're gonna get comments where you probably won't.

And they're all gonna be negative. You probably won't if you wore like a regular t-shirt like, uh... But then you might not make any money. Yeah, then you're gonna have to, then you're gonna have to get good at something. God. You're gonna have to get good at one guy. Instead of, instead of lousy with all of them. Oh yeah, here I got an Andrew Tate thing. You remember that ship that crashed into the bridge?

And the bridge fell over? I read that all the guys, like the foreign workers who are on that ship are still on the ship. What? So they haven't, yeah, wait, let me find it. It's an active crime scene and they like... Kinda, because they don't have visas or something. Let me see Let me see if this is real bridge

So they've just been sitting on there with no yeah BBC World that's got to be real right I would think so I mean After two months a quote sad situation dolly dolly crew. It a little bit more than sad. It's it's wow. Yeah okay yeah blah blah blah but now it remains unclear when they will be able to return home. It began a long process that's left 21 men on board trapped and cut off from the world. Oh so they're yeah they can't get them out because, because they've got to get the structure off the ship, right? I mean, is that what they're... No, they can get them out! They just weld a hole in it!

Yeah, if they can, well, let's see. I don't know, it might be more difficult than that. There's no way in America we can't get 20 guys trapped in an aluminum box. True, true, but how many, how much resources are they devoting to it? Are they calling in the specialized- Two guys in a pickup truck could do this! Are they calling in like specialized equipment?

Like see they would if it were like, you know, the Pentagon or something, you know? Pelosi, that guy who hammered Pelosi's husband, 30 years in prison, right? But these guys, these poor guys trapped in a box. They've got Smiley who isn't returning texts, you know? Yeah! The crew made up of 20 Indians. These poor guys trapped in a box. They've got Smiley who isn't returning texts, you know? Yeah. The crew made up of 20 Indians. Oh, imagine the smell in this ship by now.

Sri Lankan National has been unable to disembark because of visa regulations. Oh, so they won't let him... Oh, that has nothing to do... They're calling him... It's metaphorically trapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. In prison is the word you're looking for. We're trapped. Detained. It's it's metaphorically trapped Detained because we won't let them off the boat right

What? What's funny because you see the simultaneous sent pieces of the the bridge off so it's like oh, they're trying to get the shit They're trying to get yeah, you're trying to get the shit off the ship so they can get them out It's like no that has nothing to do with it. No, no, just that. Yeah. That has nothing to do with it. And visa restrictions and a lack of required shore passes and parallel ongoing investigations by the national, by the NTSB and FBI. They're just workers on a ship. God.

On Monday, the crew remained on board even as the authorities used small explosives to deliberately cut and expansive so they're dismantling the bridge with these guys there very dangerous obviously. I mean ideally you'd not they would not be there right I mean. They're part of the ship they're necessary to keep the ship staffed and operational this guy said. What operational? What?

No, but it's like, see, so they're just, you know, they're just rationalizing or attempting to very like superficially. It's like, oh, well, I mean, the ship won't work with them. It's like, yeah, but you just said visas, visas and shit. That's the reason. It's not because they need the ship. They can't do any online banking. They can't pay their bills at home. They don't have any of their data. They don't do any online banking. They can't pay their bills at home

They don't have any of their data. I have any online banking, but they are your wives. That's a plus But they're still they're still they're still manning the call centers though. Yeah. Yeah, they're taking call Yeah, they're still take it. Yeah for Amazon or anyone's contact information. So they're really isolated right now Yeah, I bet they can't just reach out to folks if they need to or even look at pictures of their children before they go to sleep. What? They can't jack off. How about that? Can't look at their pictures or even jack off before they go to sleep. Man, you imagine like what the... I hope I hope they're at least dropping them like, you know, some some fucking soap and fucking razors and shit like that. Oh wait, I had a funny DEI one about...

Jesus. Indian men are starting to get upset about DEI. DEI doesn't help Indian men. This is an Indian on some kind of like Silicon Valley anonymous board. Why won't DEI stand up for Indian men? DEI makes us sit through their quote trainings asserting that boy let me move this thing out of the way asserting that blacks have the same cognitive

ability as Indians but when non-Indian women make fools out of us going around telling everyone that Indian males are all effeminate incels short kings smelly etc. What the fuck is a short king? A short guy like a compliment like embracing the shortness of nature of it. Really? Calling them a short king. That's very sad. Why doesn't DEI step in and tell all the females that Indian males are just as masculine powerful and manly as blacks? 100% chance that was written by an Indian. Oh Yeah, yeah. Why not indeed sir? Why not indeed?

Yeah, yeah written by an Indian exactly.? Why not indeed? Yeah, yeah, I've written mine in, exactly. Okay, they gave you some cards, too. Well, you know, there was always the... There was the thing I've heard talked about a lot where it's like, where Asian men, like in our film and all that kind of stuff, are never portrayed as masculine. Like, and now they're like, you know, they're changing that, but it was always like...

And I was like, I never, honestly, I never thought about it. They're always portrayed as like smart or you know but yeah but never like they're not like the you know the badass of the no there well what about all that kung fu shit no though except for that that's yeah except for that but in like typical typical American cinema yeah you know you generally very rarely do you have like well women aren't titillated by that. They're titillated by, um, black stuff. They just fucking love it. Guys are too!

Uh, here. Two-whit. Everybody's... Two-whit. All these stupid conservatives are pissed off about this. Oh, yeah. This is, uh, this woman was cast as Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Yeah.

Man, that's quite a- So all these all these retards. That's quite a jaw Yeah The updated that yeah, this is a the updated 2004 version of Romeo and Juliet. This is a crime against history Man, none of you guys go to the theater to see plays. What the fuck are you? That's you ruined my childhood. Yeah, Romeo and Juliet ruined by... Settle fucking down. What do you think white liberals want to see?

They want to see interracial shit! They love it! How are you going to make Romeo and Juliet exciting for them? 400 year old play. You've got to put some race shit in it! There was a play. Yeah, this is a fucking play! They're so retarded, they're so fucking stupid that everything they see they think is a movie. Oh, this is another Hollywood blockbuster.

No shithead, it's called a play. Romeo and Juliet was like a documentary, like you know, it was actual like a biography. Hyper progressive, effeminate liberals going to this interracial Romeo and Juliet are really going to be fucking brainwashed into not voting for Trump because of this fucking play. They always do this. They go to 10 hour productions of White on Black, then they make it. They see how many, they got two black guys playing Juliet in this one. It's really going to blow your liberal mind how many black guys we got in this fucking theater production. They really they talk like this they go

Oh, man, I went to an all black production of 12 angry men It's all they care about they only see their own media in terms of how much well What's the race of everybody involved here? It's you know, I've actually I have actually heard like oh there This is an all something something production of they love it. I mean,, they love it! I mean, I've heard it with my own ears. Fucking guys. Or it's like- Oh, this is an insult. If they're putting on their own plays, you've never gone to a play, you've never thought about it, just leave it the fuck alone.

By the way, plays and opera specifically have way more traditional messages than any of your guys' shit. Go see one fucking opera. It is way will be the most traditional conservative media you've ever consumed in your fucking life. But you never will because you think it's gay. It's probably very old too. Yeah, the 600 year old thing about how she should have listened to her fucking father. Wow. But you guys aren't lining up for that shit, are you?

You're just crying about this interracial... No, it's not because of the erasers, it's because she's ugly. Oh, so you won't go see it then, I guess. Oh, you're really gonna fucking miss out then, man. They think going to partake in any culture might be gay. Yeah, exactly. The Games On, the big Games On, where I worship two teams of black guys. I don't have time to go-

It's so funny. But it's really fucking offensive to me that this black girl is Juliet. Oh, man Hold on Mike. I want to see I want to see a guy where where where a guy puts a puts a fucking His hands right in a guy's crotch to fucking yeah That footage of him beating his wife in the elevator. I mean that's we got to win the big game though, right? You know, this is about but those values sorry he he said you see P did he kick his girlfriend? No Hold on. Did he really? It's bad. It's so bad, and I'm so offended by it to watch it like a million times

Come on did he where's it where's it at? Where you at? Pressure must be getting to him. No this was from like 2016 Oh really, huh, it's past was from like 2016. Oh, really? And it's past the statute of limitations, so... Right, for, yeah. Like, okay, well, did you just save this to... Who put this? Damn it!

His girlfriend posted this or something? I don't know who posted it. Oh. Uh, P Diddy Kick. Oops, that's not Kick. Kick. Uh... Hey, come on now on now yeah here we go look at him he's in a towel where yeah is he like in an office space where the I think he's in Vegas what what fucking music mogul Sean Diddy combs the video captured on

multiple cameras okay that's his girlfriend Cassie, who said she was leaving while he was asleep. I don't know, he was sleeping in a... What? He seems pretty spry for being just woken up, though. Shows Combs assaulting his then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura. Oh, damn!

Look at that kick! Yeah. Ray Finkel shows up. Exactly. Boom! Sucker-style kicker. In a hallway at a Los Angeles hotel in March 2016. Oh, LA, sorry.

A lawsuit filed by Ventura in November last year and settled the next day. Oh, oh! He's dragging her down the hall. I don't want to hear this chick talking. He's dragging her down the hall by her hoodie or hair. It's got to be her hoodie. Her hair would come off. Yeah, she was wearing a hoodie. Yeah.

Her hair. What does this say? She was wearing a hoodie. Yeah Her hair Hahaha What did she say? Calms, became extremely intoxicated He's walking pretty good for being intoxicated I don't know about that He didn't fall down with either kick And he held his towel up

He held his towel up while beating a woman Presence of mind It's pretty good Cause it would be embarrassing as shit if you're beating a woman and your towel falls over your butt. Right. Exactly. And then she's like, oh man, gold. That's what she's trying to get. Oh, he's going to kick the shit out of you.

This is clearly why men are better athletes. Yeah. They can do all that. Drunk. Drunk. Drunk. Holding a towel up. No bare ass shot. One in a million doc. God. Giving her a black eye, which according to the lawsuit prompted Ventura to try and leave the hotel room. The surveillance video obtained by CNN... Here he comes, look at this room going. Look at him running. ...the hallway. The complaint says...

No time to put on my underpants. No. That bitch is getting out of here. I gotta get down there. Man, it's impressive. Oh, here comes Matty. Hi Matty. Hi, hello. Hahaha. Arrrr. Alright, let me see what I got for comments here.

Come here Matty. Oh yeah. I got, um, I got these puppets. What do you think about them? Very good. Where do those come from? Koof sent them in.

Vito lost. Vito is down to, I think, 289. Really? That's a big drop, isn't it? For the first time he's been under 290 for real. Without doing scammy water weight shit. He won the fucking lottery. He's so happy. 290 for real. Yeah. Like without doing scammy water weight shit. Oh, I gotcha, yeah. He won the fucking lottery, he's so happy. Big departure from, big change from last week. So he just has to, he was ready to kill himself.

This thing could go on for years, this whole bit. I don't know if he realizes that like he's making it go a lot longer than. Don't tell him. Testicular torsion rage. Hey Dick, hey Sean. This is Dev from Muskoka. You know what makes me rage? Doctors, particularly surgeons. Six years ago I woke up one day and rolled over

and felt a sharp pain in my left testicle. I laughed it off at first. You laughed it off? Yeah. My balls. Yeah. That's a right odd reaction, but you know. My nuts are killing me. People deal with things differently.

Just slept wrong or something. But another sharp pain spurs me to do a Google search where all signs point to torsion. And apparently if it's twisted. How often does that happen? It's something I've heard of, luckily not experienced. But like it does, I mean, it's a known thing. I mean, I just wonder how many people, you know, how many per 100,000 or 10,000 or what, you know.

Does the tautical torsion happen? Let's see. They'll give you a one in 4,000. 1 in 4,000 under the age of 25? Oh God. Is it? One in four thousand under the age of 25? Oh god. So, football stadium, fifty thousand, forty thousand people at Dodger Stadium, a thousand of those, a hundred of those? What is it? Ten of those? What's the math on that? Forty

thousand men. Isn't it four hundred? Four hundred? Got a testicle torsion? I fucking, I don't know, man. I've got the zeros going on in my head. I messed it up. Once you mess up a math, you can't do it right. Yeah. That's how it goes. Six years ago, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it is twisted, then I have six hours to save my testicle. My lefticle. Is your on a clock, is that true? Hmm, that'd be a good movie. Yeah, how long? Six hours. Yeah, cause it cut off like, you know, like blood flow and all that kind of shit, right?

So. Yeah. Like in the abyss when he holds his breath. Right. And goes underwater. Right. It's like, oh, my nuts. I gotta get to the doctor. I pack my morning bowl and head downstairs, pain continuing to escalate. As my landlord joins me and I

can barely make it down the stairs, he asks what's up and the pain is so bad I'm doubled over trying every position I can think of to get comfortable. I tell him I think I twisted my nut and he rushes me to the hospital. You fucking pothead. You're getting wasted. You're getting loaded up on weed while your ball is Suffocating. I'm not gonna you know everybody's got different priorities. Hobbling into the emergency room. I'm screaming in pain at this point got into the merge in about 45 seconds got into the emergency in about 45 seconds and the doctor attempts to manually correct it first by grabbing my nut and twisting it the other way. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH After showing my balls to a couple cute ultrasound techs, I went into my surgery. Now with torsion surgery, multiple sources online state

that the standard procedure is to untwist and then tack each testicle to the scrotum of re-curt. Ah, God, I shouldn't be reading this. Oh, ah. Wait, is it 40 people in the stadium or 40,000? I'm still stuck on it- One in 4,000. Yeah, one in 4,000. So you times it by 10 to get 40.

Yeah, there you go. 10. 10. They should honor those guys instead of the troops. Right, right. Right? We have some testicle torsion guys here tonight. We've got 10 guys. If you can take your hats off.

10, not- And salute to the testicle torsion people. Fuck the military. They have fucked us over in so many ways and cost everybody too much money to even fathom, basically. But the testicle guys, our hats are off to you. Breaching the haze of anesthesia afterwards, I come to find out that the surgeon responsible for my testicle decided to only tack the nut that was twisted,

leaving the other one to just do whatever the fuck it wanted. Well, six years and two urologists later, my nut still hurts. At the beginning of this year, I finally got my right testicle tacked down, which has helped quite a bit. Until then, it was bouncing and being pulled every which way, which felt just fantastic. Isn't that like a normal testicle? What are you talking about? Bouncing every which way. Stop gay dancing and calm, stop moving around, stop getting high and putting on a little strip show, twerking show.

One euro suggested we feed a tube down my carotid artery in my neck down to my nut sack to obliterate some veins to see if that would help with the inflammation. And I had to be awake. It did not help. God damn. Oh man.

In the wild they stick shit like that? Yeah, right through your artery. That's fucking, that's crazy man. I shouldn't have read this. Yeah, this is a... Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Thanks so much for what you guys do. My coworker got me into dick casts a couple years ago, and it's hard for me to turn them off. Last year I listened to 80,000 minutes of the dick show, not including the biggest problem.

Wow. Top show among eunuchs. 80,000, yeah. 80,000 minutes. Feel free to use this on the show as well as my name. Cheers, Dev. Oh my God. Christ.

You got a... Man, imagine you're this guy getting with a woman for the first time, and you're like, hey, you gotta fucking relax. Don't stick to one move. Yeah. Don't get silly down there. Yeah, that's a problem.

Don't go Turkish Ice Cream Man on me down there, okay? Turkish Ice Cream Man. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. I'm gonna jack you off now. Oh, nope, nope, nope. Oh, oh, just the, just the. Turkish Ice Cream Man. Jesus Christ. I'm gonna jack you off. Nope. Nope. Nope. Just a just a Turkish ice cream man Jesus Christ You guys can use these references when you're talking to women

They love that shit get them thinking about you got to get women thinking about anything that isn't you? That's the secret to talking to women Sean hey mate just caught the latest episode when Sean talked about the hot construction chicks. It's true. They started hiring hot traffic control chicks with the stop and go signs because it turns out traffic will pay more attention to a smoking hot chick holding a stop sign than some fat loser.

Makes perfect sense. It's great. This one was at night though. So, I mean, I don't know. There's even more reason to have a, you know. Honestly think she was like a legit construction worker. Was she holding a sign though? No, I didn't see her holding a sign.

I didn't see her holding a sign, but I mean, I'm not saying she's like, you know, like running a jackhammer, but she was doing, I seem like she was doing something around there, but that makes perfect sense. It's great. They can pull upwards of $150,000 a year on major projects.

Fucking wow. Awesome. Cheers. Sean, the civil engineer. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with one or two women at the workplace. I was just really surprised. Like, this was like, she was like a legitimately good looking chick.

Like, just wearing construction shit. With a hard hat. And it's just not something I've ever seen in America. Lambertars is congressional catfight. Women alert. Women alert. Let's see here congressional catfight. Well what could they be up to? Are they fighting over the the budget or maybe?

America's foreign entanglements probably yeah, I'm sure this is yeah Ukraine basically embezzled all the money We sent them and Russia and re-invaded northern Ukraine. Yeah, there's all the money we sent for didn't go to what was supposed to Just got pocketed in Panama By the guys who sent it that's what that's the long and the short of that is they I mean, it is. By the guys who sent it. That's the long and the short of that is they just themselves pocketed it. How to make money disappear. It's all, man, it's just one scam after another. Maybe they're talking about repealing the Federal Reserve Act.

I know Thomas Massey has just started a performative attack on the Federal Reserve, which is cool, you know. Coincidentally, Israel has launched a gigantic campaign to unseat Massey. They put like $300-something thousand dollars into his competitor for his seat, which is like direct foreign nation election interference, which I don't care about, but you, but I thought everyone cared about that. When Russia does it at least, I guess Israel could get away with it. So let's see what they're fighting about. Maybe it's some of that stuff.

I'd like to know if any of the Democrats on this committee are employing Judge Marshawn's daughter. There's Marjorie Taylor Greene. Please tell me what that has to do with Mary Garland. Is she a porn star? Oh, Goldman. That's right. He's advising. Okay. He's advising who? What?

Is there a commentary of like someone talking over this? What's that other voice? Do you know what we're here for? You know we're here about... I don't think you know what you're here for. You know we're here about AC. I don't think you know what you're here for. Well, you don't want to talk about... I think your fake eyelashes are messing up. No, I ain't nothing. Hold on, hold on. Great.

You know what? I'm for it. Alright, let's see how the rest of this plays out. Sad. Order, Mr. Chairman. That's beneath even you, Ms. Green. That's even you. Order, point of order. I do have a point of order and I would like to move to take down Ms. Green's words.

That is absolutely unacceptable. How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person. Are your feelings hurt? Move her words down. Oh, oh, girl, baby, girl. your feelings hurt? Move her words down. Oh. Oh girl, baby, girl. Oh really? Don't even play with me.

Baby, girl, I don't think so. We are going to move and we're going to take your words down. I second that motion. So, so who will have to pay? Say them again. Miss Green agrees to strike her words. I believe she was apologizing. No, no, no.

Hold on. Then after. Sean, that's not enough. These fucking people dude. Let me get an apology out. Can you shut the fuck up please? You should apologize. No, no, no. Hold on. Then after... Sean, that's not enough. These fucking people, dude. Let me get an apology out of... Can you shut the fuck up, please? We're trying to embezzle everyone's money, and you dumb broads are just talking about

eyelashes and apologies, okay? This reflects the American public. It's perfect. It's fucking perfect. Harry's going to be recognizing... I'm not apologizing. Well, then, you're not striking your words. I am not apologizing. Oh, no, we're not striking your words!

Good, I don't want them striking. Why don't you debate me? Somebody... Okay, I want a fucking... I want a huge waiting pool brought in. I want it filled with mud. Yeah. That's what... Get in there.

That's what... That's what you deserve. Just take the money We don't we can't stop you just take the money now at least do something like you know funny and The the minority You're not yeah, you're not you don't have enough in That's what I love when women go to there. Okay, move to strike the ladies' words again. I would like to order.

I move to strike these broads. That's two requests to strike. Oh, they cannot take the words. Another motion to strike your words again. Start again. Boom! And Ray Rice, Ray Rice is throwing haymakers. Do you agree to unanimous consent

to strike your word? Gentlemen, I've assembled a team. It's unbelievable, man. I repeat again for the second time? Yes I'll show my words, but I'm not apologize Mr.. Chair point of order Point of order it's me miss Crockett I'm just curious just to better understand your ruling if someone on this committee then starts talking about Somebody's bleach blonde

bad-built butch body that would not be engaging in personality what if I were to say what now I make a motion to strike those words I don't think that's a line it's a pretty funny way to get it in there I've never called her fat or stoop, you know? Right, right, exactly. I know what you just said.

What now? We're not gonna do this. Did you just call her a ute? Earlier, you literally just said that. You just voted to do it. I'm trying to get clarification. Order, order. I'm trying to get clarification.

Look at, calm down. Yeah, get clarification. No, no, no, no, because this is what y'all do. I would like to get to your proceeding. So I'm trying to get clarification. Hey, you're not recognized, Ms. Crockett. I can't hear you with that yelling. Calm down. No, no, no, no, because this is what y'all do. So I'm trying to get clarification. You're not recognized, Ms. Crockett. I can't hear you with my yelling. Calm down.

Oh, you lost control. Tell me to calm down. Drop an end bob. Because y'all talk. Calm down. Come on. You're out of control. Because if I comment shit about her,

y'all go over. Whoa. Mr. Chairman. Whoa. Chair. Chair. OK. I know why you're acting like that.

Chair now recognizes. That's awesome. That's amazing. acting like that. Order. Chair now wrecking. Ah, that's awesome. That's amazing. Yeah. There's no fucking hope. Why would you think that the future would ever get better? Sean, we have $35 trillion in debt. That's unrecoverable. It doesn't matter what happens.

It really does. A trillion was recoverable. in debt that's unrecoverable it doesn't matter what happens that's it really did really was no it's it's already it's already it's a done deal we're just we're playing it out yeah we're playing it out only unrecoverable it's like a you know it's like totally when you yeah you're just absolutely no way to recover from that yeah you're you know we're out there there's there's three holes left in your ten strokes behind. Chances are you're just playing for a place other than first. It's, it's... Most likely, nothing's gonna happen. Not last.

Yeah. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uh throwing babies into dumpsters everywhere because the baby dumpster is going to be full to the brim. They're going to have to start throwing them in the trash once we roll those out. Very good link. Thank you, Lambertor. Let's see, woman alert. This woman is sick of waiting. Oh no, I don't want to play that one. Waiting? Yeah, waiting.

W-E-I-G-H-T-I-N? No, it's the normal kind. This is women. All these women now are crying about not being married, because the average age of a Twitter user is high enough now that women are noticing they're not married. Oh, really? And they're like, why? What the fuck? Why am I not getting married?

Well, because nobody has any fucking money. That's why. Yeah. Ah, OK. Nobody has any fucking money. Yeah. Okay. Bra moment says Jetpack Maddox dick wet. He said his dick was wet. A jetpack gets his dick wet?

Let's see. Did he do it again? Maybe he's always fucked up this phrase. We just never corrected him because he thought it was funny. I never heard him do it until we played it you know a couple months ago. Yeah here you go here's from the original show. Yeah Disneyland. I didn't know that. Yeah Tomorrowland. It's like the black and

white footage of a guy using a jetpack and everyone's... Is it a jetpack for real? Yeah it's a jetpack. My dick's been wet ever since I saw that thing. Not hard, but wet? Right, no. Hard and wet. Now I remember. I'm so confused right there. This guy's dick gets wet. It starts sweating, it's so hard.

He's got that look in his eyes like he wants to see it. Sean, you want to see it? No. You don't want to see, no, it's the jet pack, not his dick. The jet pack? Yeah, show me the jet pack. Well, yeah, I got to see this now, too. No, I'm talking about euphemism.

Oh, man. I remember that now. Could have done that show forever. Yeah. Those are innocent times. Now everybody's dick's getting wet. Wild. OK, advice. Hey, this is not about relationships

because I'm not an F slur. Okay, I have an autism sound clip loaded up for the next person that writes in about advice and they say they're autistic. But see this, the way he started that out, I would not guess autism. Probably not. Yeah, here's, I'm gonna preview this.

And if you write me with advice and say that you have autism, I'm gonna play this. I know that you can't resist doing that, so at least this is, you don't have this. Hope it doesn't have the R word. I'm slightly autistic. What do you think about that? So somebody says, I'm slightly autistic.

I'm slightly autistic. Pretty good, Reverend Scott. Yeah. Nailed slightly autistic. Pretty good, Reverend Scott. Yeah. Nailed it again. Excellent. I need some advice for everyday life. I'm a 21 year old plumber. It's not like being slightly pregnant.

Yeah, it is. I know, pregnancy is a spectrum. You know? I'm a 21 year old plumber in Canada making decent money, but my hobbies and other choices make it look like I'm a minimum wage in a failing economy where immigrants are given five digits just to come here He spends a bunch of money on oh is it well no that's what he said He said it makes it look like he's look like I'm he's poor so he's on wage

Yeah, so he spends his money on shit that he thinks is fun, and you are you're ahead of the game Oh, or you think he's driving himself into being broke, or he's just living very... No, I just think that's his background. Read the sentence again. I'm a 21-year-old plumber in Canada making decent money, but my hobbies and other choices make it look like I'm a minimum wage.

Okay, so, yeah. In a failing economy. He's saying, like, I like to throw money around. But that wouldn't make... Does that make you look like a minimum wage? Because he probably lives in a place beneath his means, probably drives a car beneath his means because he spends it all on fucking magic or something. I don't know.

Or whores. Or yeah, like fucking collectibles. And decent pay jobs still keeping me living paycheck to paycheck. Yeah, okay. I'm lucky enough where I get to live at home. You can't blame somebody else for that. I'm lucky enough. It's the liar liar thing.

It's like, yeah, exactly. I'm lucky enough where I get to live at home, but my dad recently got sick and hasn't been able to work for a while. He's lying. Get his ass out of bed. Get back to work. Oh man. He wants you to start pulling your weight.

You mean like he's living at home and he- He's living at your house then. You're not living at his house. Yeah, like are you not paying any rent? I don't know. And my mom's jumped from dead end job to dead end job and brings very little money back. Well, yeah, you know.

I know they are deep in debt and are realistically never gonna get out of it. Well, yeah, you know, I know they are deep in debt and are realistically never going to get out of it. Well, think again, they actually all get out of it. There's always death. Yeah, exactly. But I don't want that to happen. They're never going to get out of it. But I don't want that to happen to me. What are my options? Oh, yeah, that's true. Because everybody learns how to spend money from their parents. So if your parents are dead beats, you're probably going to be a dead beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was shown terrible examples on.

Cause that interest shit, you don't understand. Like you gotta pay that off and fucking refinance it somewhere that is not raping you. Yeah. Like immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do I keep from resenting my parents? My dad, if he made a hundred grand,

he lived like he made 500 grand. If he made, you know what I mean? Like it was just always, you're trying to, trying to, trying to, you know, make yourself feel better and it's fucking temporary, you know? And it doesn't... It ultimately doesn't work. Um, how do I keep from resenting my parents due to paying for them and keeping them above water?

Well, I mean, you can resent them. That's fine. You absolutely can resent your parents. Just resent the fuck out of them. You know? resent your parents. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just resent the fuck out of them. Do it openly. Well, they may have- Until you get it out of your system. Yeah, and I mean, ultimately you gotta come to terms

with that, but they don't know you resent them. My dad cut that fucking curly end out of my plywood, and I said, ah, this was my choice still. I could have put the guard on, but I thought you convinced me, but I knew it was a mistake. It's my fault at the end of the day. This is just like a little tiny. I gotta look at it now. But still, it's all you'll see. I knew it was gonna happen. It's all you'll see.

I know you're gonna fucking- But where's the where's the dent in your truck, by the way? Where's the- The back left. The back left? Like the side? Like side? Yeah, yeah, on the wheel. Is it like a scrape or is it like punched in? Dude, she obviously fucking hit it and then through the wheel. So it's like the plastic, now the metal is deformed and the plastic is like janky.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I gotta look now. No, it might be the passenger side. Oh, well, something. I blocked it out. Yeah. I'm lucky and, uh, hopefully this is clear and decent enough for you to read. After all, I'm a plumber, not an English major.

Smooches for Sean and go fuck yourself. Thanks for not killing yourself. Uh, cheers, Steven. So you're giving all your money to your parents? Is that what he's doing? I guess. I don't know, he said- How do I keep from resenting my parents

due to paying for them and keeping them above water? Yeah, well- So they're in debt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, well, okay, but he's living there. So it's like, I mean, I guess I would say- You're gonna get that. Move out, pay your own way fully,

watch your spending on your hobbies, so that you can say, that's not, I didn't do this to you. I didn't do that. You're gonna abandon your parents like that? Yeah. I don't know. That's a big step. You gotta take baby steps first. Well, yeah.

Just let them miss a couple meals first. Make them eat just rice, you know? They made their decisions too. Cancel the cell phone, They don't need that. Yeah, give them a curfew. Put them on a banana sticker. You went to work today, you get a banana sticker. There you go.

No ordering off DoorDash today, you get another banana sticker. Very good. Yeah. Put them on a curfew. Incentivize them to do better. Put a net blocker. But I get that- You gotta put up some incentives. If your dad's norma- if you're- they're norma-

Well, you know, they're in debt also, but like then his dad's not working, so they're obviously getting further. I'm gonna block Pornhub, dad, if you don't go to work today. If you go to work. Watch him straighten right up, yeah. You get 10 minutes of pornography.

Yep. It's pretty good. Right. You know? Send everything that mom buys back, obviously. Sure. We're not, you're not buying anything, no shopping on anything, but use the banana stickers.

People love banana stickers. They do. Okay, let's do fat watch. What'd I hear? It's 1.45. We're gonna have a nice tight show today. Hackamania is in two weeks. Use promo code BIGGEST, I think I get a little money.

If you use promo code, and you save 20% on the Hackamania tickets. Should be be fun it's like an all-day podcasting festival oh cool oh yeah whoops I'm slightly autistic Dee Dee Dee Dee Tinkerbell is too skinny oh they've gone through like all the princesses or characters, right? Tinkerbell was the smallest one. Yeah, I mean... Yes.

Yeah. Tinkerbell, it says, unfortunately, this is what a Disney person said, Tinkerbell, unfortunately, has become a problematic image for our guests. She's perfect. That's exactly what Tinkerbell should look like, right? A little heavy, I don't know. This is a little, you know. This one's too, I mean.

For my. I don't know about, I don't know about thick. I mean, I'd like to see the, like this, you know, what the triceps look like, but that's, that looks like Tinkerbell to me. Tinkerbell has become. But this is too skinny for them. A problematic image for our guests,

specifically young girls. Bullshit. This has become problematic for our guests, specifically young girls, bullshit. This has become problematic for your guests who are big fat hippos. That's- No little girl has ever looked at a skinny woman and thought, this is problematic for me. No, they're told that it's problematic.

Yeah, they're all skinny because they don't have access to DoorDash and their metabolisms are in overdrive. So then they see a skinny woman, they're like, that's me. I too am skinny. This is a problem for pigs that you've got stampeding in. Oh, yeah, and pushing their stuff on little fucking kids like adults do, like bad parents do, like bad teachers do.

Specifically, if your parents are spending too much money, you can replace their money spending with a little bit of Jesus. Yeah. Church is free. Yeah. Go over there, go to the church. Right.

Specifically in terms of the portrayal of- You could probably get a cracker and a little drink. You know, if you- Yeah. Hey, that's food for tonight. We're going to church. Go to the food bank. Get them... Man, food banks are giving out tons of food and only, um, like Armenians are showing up in BMWs to get it.

Go down to the fucking food bank. I know it exists. Bro, that... 100% true. No, I was just going to back that up. Yeah. Like I know... They're fucking shopping down there. Good. I know, uh, yeah. I mean, like, I know people in San Diego, I get told about this, where it's like, even the kids are like,

Mom, what the fuck? Like, we have enough, we have money, like, so it's like, go fucking, just take it! Why not? They're not running out! From the fucking church food stores! Like... Maybe I'll try that. What do they got down there at the food bank? Like, what are you fucking doing? I'm gonna move to San Francisco. Get free food, free boo'll try that. What do they got down there at the food bank? Like, what are you fucking doing? I'm gonna move to San Francisco. Get free food, free booze, yeah. I'll hang out at that homeless cheers, whatever it is.

Norm! Haha, Norm. Norm stabs someone in the neck with a screwdriver. Ah, that's Norm! I'm gonna dress all the homeless up. Always with that screwdriver. I'm gonna make them all wear like clothes from Cheers, you know? Like I'll give you a...

I'm gonna give you guys a dollar every day if you dress in these like mailman clothes and this business suit clothes. And then like someone's gonna be Rhea Pearlman. I'll dress a homeless up like that and I'll be Sam. Yeah. Hey everybody! Who's Woody? Another homeless. I find I'm gonna get a bunch of homeless people and dress them up like cheers got it

And sit in that bar all day drinking or pretending to be Sam Malone guys Let's talk about my baseball career right the Reds red socks was it socks. Yeah, Boston of course. Yeah Okay, well, you know Sammy Say that say that Do it again, better. Fentanyl is used in... I'm gonna go through the seasons too. I'll get Robin in there. You know, Rebecca, Robin, her husband, that rich guy. Yeah, yeah. Right.

Casting, yeah, casting would be very interesting. Yeah, specifically in terms of the portrayal of an unrealistic body image. Is this shit again? Unrealistic. Unrealistic woman. That's reality, that's, no, right. It really happened. Unrealistic, I mean, that's like one in like

five million women can look like, no. That's like a normal looking woman No, like Tinkerbell is a fairy That flies around the wings are the most unrealistic part because those wings could not support her size Yeah Similarly lightning McQueen. Yeah is also has a very unrealistic body image Got it for young boys because he is a race car. Is that why?

Yes. That's not a realistic body image. Similar to Tinkerbell. Okay, I'm following. Unrealistic body image as well as dependency of approval and or attention from Peter Pan as seen in previous incarnations. Tinkerbell's the abusive one in that relationship. I know, she's a shit, man. Yeah. Yeah, Tinkerbell sucks. She is 100% abusive.

She doesn't wanna do fucking anything, like, or help in any way. You gotta bring her back to life, too, I think, by believing her Me Too accusation. Doesn't it? So you gotta clap if you believe that Captain Hook molested her. You're like, I don't know, man, I don't want her to die, but I don't really think she is gonna die, actually. You gotta clap if you believe that Captain Hook molested her.

I don't want her to die, but I don't really think she is gonna die actually. But whatever. Clap. As seen in previous incarnations of the character. We feel these traits are no longer representative of our inclusive focused values and thus, are currently in process of redesigning an updated Tinkerbell for modern audiences? Oh, is this real? I don't know. I mean... Is the future of Peter Pan is that everyone's gonna be gay?

Well... Everyone is gonna be a gay fat fat woman? Something tells me... Fat trans man. No, I don't know. I mean obviously I haven't searched but if this if this is from a Disney rep... Disney is constantly fucking looking at everything and they will sue you or make a statement or whatever. It's like...

Yeah. Uh, you know, terms of, let me see, unrealistic body image. Maybe it's just like a joke. Unfortunately, is that like a... Report, Disney removes problematic? I mean, I don't know a lot of no they didn't cancel No, fuck you. This is a rumor. Oh Chrissy Mayer you you fucked up big time. Oh God yeah, it's fucking that's what you got. You've got a fucking check everything check everything man And then they do the well you, you could imagine though, it might be true. Yeah, uh, fucking...

Oh, you could imagine though. Stabbed. That's false. First place that one. Oops, whoops. I got it. The European mind cannot comprehend this? Okay, let's see.

Looks like a woman at Disneyland. Is she there for the rides or the food? What do you think? A little bit of both. Oh baby the rides aren't there for her though. Ooh mama. She needs a selfie stick to get her upper half on camera I see. 26 year old at Disney. Okay so 26! Yeah. Yep. Baby this is your, um, you passed the halfway point at that size. Oh, life expectancy? Yeah. Yeah, maybe not.

Yeah. First place I went to is Cafe Daisy. I got this watermelon lemonade. Look at how gorgeous. It was so good, way better than I expected. Then I got the daisy dog. I'd have to rate this a seven out of 10. It was nothing special, but it was good.

It also came with some chips, which were okay. Oh my gosh. The best part was I got the cheesy pizza flop over. When they say cheesy, but it was good. It also came with some chips, which were okay. Oh my gosh, the best part was I got the cheesy pizza flop over. When they say cheesy, it was so cheesy. My cousin gave me a taste of his orange drink, and it was so. Okay.

Whole thing gone. Now the, uh. Here's a taste. So, like, the Tinkerbell thing. You drank the cup. The Tinkerbell thing is bullshit, but that stuff has happened before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, this is. This is just taken out. This is to be celebrated. This is to be like, oh no, no, no, this is okay. Yeah, you know, we'll start with the marriages back up when you guys start policing the weight happenings that are going on on your side of the aisle over there. The men will be on a marriage strike

until women go on a hunger strike for marriage. How about that? We really just never do just kind of settle in the middle on things. Like it just one extreme to the other. Bro, you just got to consume all day. You got to be consuming something. I guess.

Buying, drinking, eating. So good. Later on, I got thirsty again. So I got this raspberry lemonade. I give this a 9 out of 10. Then we headed over to Tiana's palace and I had the house bengay. Sadly, I would give this a 5 out of 10 because it had like no flavor. OK, now for the best part, I got the house gumbo is actually so good rise with today

Stop cutting yourself off at the get somebody to edit that please she clips off the last syllable of every word Is it noon yet? Do you think I don't fucking know I what's the look at the light now? Show her rascal yet. Oh, I know she ain't walking around It's about with Alex and then I Now, have they shown her rascal yet? Oh no. I know she ain't walking around. I had to give her a float. Has she done one ride? She's riding the rascal around. Yeah, maybe so. It's actually a lot better than I expected.

I give this an 8 out of 10. Also came with an apple juice and an orange. Next I headed to Harbor Galley and I got these cookies. Who can eat this much? These are so worth it. If you get anything, get these cookies. I didn't want his applesauce so I had another applesauce. I don't know why.

My blood sugar was off so I needed some more. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. I'm going to go with the apple juice. These cookies these are so much so worth it if you get anything get these cookies I didn't want his applesauce so I had another applesauce My blood sugar was off so I needed some I needed a bunch of child's applesauce

Yeah, they're packed full of calories because kids don't eat anything. I bet these actually really hit today I drink so much water today. We got to stay hydrated. It was a lot of walk for dinner. I went to the Golden Horseshoe It was a lot of walking for dinner. I went to the Golden Horseshoe and I got I gotta stay hydrated. Yeah, I've been walking my ass off. No, you haven't You could walk three lifetimes and not walk your ass off. I can tell Tenors and some fries had ranch and barbecue. It was so amazing. Literally everything was so amazing Okay chicken fingers. I also had to try the funnel cake. I would give this a 6 out of 10 I've definitely had better funnel cakes, but it was definitely worth it. Lastly. I went to the on the way to the park 6 p.m So this is 6. This is all took place between

The hours of morning and 6 p.m. All this eating it's a lot of food. He told it 8 out of 10 So thanks for coming along y'all. Bye Yeah, bye indeed Okay, good. Good luck. Good fucking luck. Dear Dick, don't really read my name shoes on air. My girlfriend insists on competitive powerlifting. I only tolerate it because it keeps her out of my hobbies. I was double checking her planned record attempts and realized that some US federations had expanded the number of female weight classes.

Is he worried that she's gonna really pack on to compete at a certain level? Should always be worried, but apparently women's powerlifting, they've had to add on some weight classes over the years because the women are becoming so powerful, maybe? Right. Previously, women's weight classes had run in pounds. Matty, did you get that? Yeah.

Maybe adding tungsten is the... Yeah, they ran in pounds at 103, 114, 123, 132, 148, 165, 181, that's the alarm should be going off, and then super heavy, yeah, it's almost boxing classes, yeah, 181, 198, and then super heavy 198 plus. Whoo, Nelly. That's the original weight classes. Those are the original weight classes. Several new weight classes have been added for women Oh. 220. Oh. 242. Okay. 275. Okay. 308.

And now the super heavy is 308 pounds. Isn't that Lizzo? Okay, so, so 275 is like Tyson Fury who is 6'9". Okay. 275? Yeah. Tyson Fury? Yeah, it's about that. Yeah, it's about where he comes in at. Oh my God.

What is- Something like that. 242 would be like Lennox Lewis. Who is six foot five? What is 308 pounds? Let's see. So that's two chunks, a little over two chunks. Yeah, okay. A typical half barrel of beer, whereas,

oh, so a keg of beer weighs that much. That's the keg class. Christ. Whew, boy. This woman says she's 208 pounds. Well, yeah, that's, I wiped, after I wiped the vomit off my keyboard, I realized that there are a few federations

apparently have deep competition in the teen division for the new classes. Oh, good. So the young ladies are putting on pounds to shatter the powerlifting records. Yeah, yeah. At such weights as 308. Mommy, yesterday I wanted to be Tinkerbell. Today? I want to be Tankerbell.

Thanks for the last switch of time. Okay, Hugo, give me the last one. Very good. That's a joke I would make. Mobility scooter user died after driving off the the Suffolk promenade while asleep. Oh well, those mobility scooters can really... Sure wasn't a diabetic coma. Yes, passed out. A woman gorged herself all day at Disneyland and drove off a cliff here. Mobility scooter user died driving off the Suffolk promenade. The scooter user died driving off the Suffolk Promenade.

He fell asleep and drove off a promenade about five feet on the sand. Falling about five, oh. And then he starved to death? Did he eat himself? Respiratory failure. He must have been huge. Aw man. Well, that's too bad.

It's best not to need those scooters. Yeah, they don't, see they don't say, Well, that's too bad. It's best not to need those scooters. Yeah, they don't say he was old. They don't say he was fat. Disabled. So if they don't say old or disabled, you know it's fat. Yeah, that's what I'm guessing. He was a younger fat guy. Yeah. We'll report from the corner when he comes up for air. Okay. Well, there you go. Alright everybody. Good times.

Patreon.com slash the Dick Show, Dick Talk Show. We'll see you next week. This is a new song by Kendall and Hyde. I think it's new. Cool. It's called... Let me load it up. This shit's always hilarious. It's called, uh... Let me load it up. This shit's always hilarious. It's called, uh, GameStop. I think... Yeah, yeah, it's called GameStop. It's about the GameStop stuff.

Here you go. Got it. I think this is a new one. I don't know. Playing it anyway. Hi! Welcome to GameStop! Oh my god.

She works at the GameStop. She's such a little hottie I think we should get married, and play Mario Party She wears a choker and glasses, I want to worship her ass Is that okay for me to say I think I'll tell her with clout? My final fantasy lately, now listen up little lady You chuggin' energy drinks and come ride my chocobo baby It's the way you wiggle those hips while resurfacing discs

It'd be fabulous if you'd customer service my dick You're looking versatile girl, both thick and thin Like a calligraphy pen, how bout you pencil me in? To your life, be my wife, it'd be great, I promise Breakfast in bed, matching Zelda pajamas You could give me some head, no more single player You're Fiona, I'm your ogre, peel away my layers as the game stops Hey, don't call the police, I'll get down on my knees

Yeah, I'm begging the police, I'll work overtime Seven days a week if you need Let's meet at your place for a midnight release I'll bring berries, cakes, raw fish, shrooms I'll shower you with gifts like it's Harvest Moon You only gave me five bucks for my power glove But that's the price we pay when we fall in love at the GameStop I wanna mash your buttons

I'm staring at you and I can't stop Video game loving And did I mention that's a great top? Now tell me something What's your schedule at GameStop? Babe, I miss you and I need you I'm buying new games everyday just to see you I've put you in my will

When I'm leaving this world You're getting all my video games and anime girls I'm talking figures, posters, full body pillows Just use a little bleach on those stains in the middle I printed your face, look it's stapled on top I found your profile on Facebook, I like you a lot Was an instant fan of your Instagram You're so special ma'am

Can you just hold my hand at the GameStop? Roleplay? I do it all day Burger King for play You can have it your way Pretend that I'm a Viking Dungeon Crawler fighting Simulator flighting

Medieval knighting Avatar Solmanely You should be a fan of me While I have you here Could I pre-order a family with you lady? Is this too crazy? You had the weekend off, I've really missed you lately. Call me 007, touch my PPK, you can end my 64 months of celibacy. Try my FPS, fine pussy shooter while waves have come crash into your bandicooters. When I've had a rough week,

you're there to console me. Get away from me! But you don't't even know me Your manager's nuts, I think he's calling the den cops I'll see you on the bus since I'm banned from your GameStop Oh, they're called Reds because they work at Project Red Oh, isn't- I thought- Project Red, isn't that Africa? Uh, you're thinking of the AIDS thing Isn't that Bono's thing? Well, this was- Project Red is the't that Africa? Uh, you're thinking of the AIDS thing. Isn't that Bono's thing? Well this was, Project Red is the name of the game studio. Oh shit, oh.

Oh, oh yeah, the game, okay yeah. But wasn't that- Bono also did something with AIDS. Yeah, but wasn't that called Project Red? Maybe. I don't know, something like that. I forgot, that was about, yeah. Or with an HIV, I don't know. I don't sleep anymore, you know that? Yeah. You something like that. I forgot. Yeah, we're with an HIV. I don't know

I don't sleep anymore. You know that yeah, you know about that. This doesn't work. Yeah, man. I yeah It's like I'm like having like out-of-body experiences. Like I just drift off like now. I'm like wait. What are you talking about? Kendall and high I don't know go, go buy his stuff at Ken Doll and Hide, KenDollInHide.Bangcamp. He's always clever, man. I don't know how you like it. It's just something that I don't have. And I like, I know that I don't have it enough

to work on it to try to get it. Yeah, it's too late. You know, like that's, you know, that's. We had a shot, messed it up. Yeah, that's all right. That's all right, I'm fine with that. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean. I know that's all right. That's all right. I'm fine with that. Hey, Dick.

Hey, Sean. I know you guys didn't really talk about it a whole lot just because of this conversation type biller. It's kind of what we do. But fun fact, the retarded sheriff's department that shot and killed that poor kid for answering the door with a gun like anybody would in a sketchy area at a sketchy time of the night is the same Sheriff's Department from the Acorn video. Yeah, the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Department.

What do we do without these brave boys in blue? Shooting and killing a legally armed citizen in their own fucking home, but also mag dumping their own car when a fucking acorn falls on it. So fucking job done, guys. You're doing great for the long haul. Shots fired! Shots fired! Rolling around.

So this is going to further something in this country if it hasn't already. Like, you know, somebody's going to snap at this headline and feel like oh you fucking pigs think you can Just indiscriminately shoot and kill the wrong people. All right How about I give you a taste your own medicine like it's already happened once it happened in fucking Dallas in 2016 when there's like that string of unarmed black people getting killed and One dude just fucking snapped and started ambushing cops in Dallas.

I think like six or seven of them got killed. Wow. It's gonna happen. Didn't Dorner do that? Love you guys, go fuck yourselves. Yeah, yeah. Tyna, except you didn't do a very good job. No.

Really, really disappointed by Dorner. Yeah. His manifesto was just a mess. He had potential, but. He had potential. We thought he was gonna be the one, but he messed it all up. False prophet.

Okay, let's see here. Man, I don't know what the fuck is going on. I just saw like a mom with her fucking daughter and the daughter was like six years old and she's wearing a fucking shirt with mid drift. I don't know. I'm the fucking creep for noticing that. But who the fuck dresses their daughter up in who's like a baby in fucking weird ass clothing like that. Who the fuck is that for you fucking dressing up for the pedophiles dude? What the fuck is wrong with you? Well where was this? Was it just at Walmart?

Well, did he say Walmart or were you just both thinking Walmart? Yeah, that sounds like a Walmart move. Yeah. I mean I don't know. It definitely sounds like a white trash move. Probably wasn't dressing the kid up for pedophiles. If I had to guess. I mean, yeah. At least that thought didn't enter her head.

It might just be second nature. Are kids allowed to be at the beach? In bathing suits? Little kids run around with just diapers. I don't know if you gotta be so protective about pedophiles. Don't most little kids wear one-piece bathing suits? Yeah, but they're skin tight. Well, yeah, but I mean, that's not really...

Yeah, but I mean like... The gentleman's agreement that bathing suits are worn in bathing areas doesn't really negate the presence of pedophiles. So why is... So what is it? What the fuck does it matter? If the kid's wearing a fucking halter top or whatever's he wearing? He's like a...

Midriff? Yeah, so like a belly shirt, right? Or whatever. I wouldn't do it, but... No, right, exactly. I don't think it's that big of a deal. That's why I'm on the same page. Well, no. Does that mean that something's going to happen, like, because of the clothing choice? Some guy's going, click, and his head. Yeah, no. It just seems a little strange to me. It's a little odd. Yeah, again, it's not how I would dress my kid, but... Yeah, okay, let's see here.

Yeah, you were kind of like waffling about whether or not that FBI food division is real. That's like one of the things I care about the most is the food and product tampering. And it's been like that ever since the Tylenol murders in Chicago. They never solved it, obviously, and it cost corporations a ton of money. And like seven people died, but whatever. Yeah, it was a guy who was- And then something now where they catch you tampering with food, they'll fuck you with like a 25 year-

Was it about tampering we were talking about? Yeah, yeah, it was the FBI food tampering shit. Well, I brought up that, I thought they were involved, there's a lot of fish, like seafood fraud is huge. Oh yeah. But I didn't know if they were necessarily involved. I thought that they were, but somebody was. Yeah.

Okay. Some government agency agency but it is it is okay how that makes sense dude that says shut up and play your guitar man I'm building one right now and I want to talk about it really yeah it's probably extremely boring but no it's real fun to like take out all the components down to like the actual electronic resistors and capacitors and then soldering it all together, putting it all together. I need to buy a drill press. You know how expensive that is? That's awesome.

So, this is my life now, I guess. Guys, this is a new phase. I'm not coming back. It's a recently divorced, gonna build himself a guitar. He should, I need updates too. Yeah, have you ever built a guitar? No. You don't want to? I don't want to have to learn those skills at this age.

What are they, a luthier? Is that a violin only or is that a guitar? No, stringed instruments. Yeah, cause that would be like a big blocky piece of shit. I can set a guitar up. Okay. That's the extent of my, you know, yeah. Yeah, I don't. What about a build your own guitar kit? Would you like that? I mean... It's like you screw it, you get paint in and screw it together. But see, you gotta

have a certain, you gotta have, it costs more than just the price of the kit. You're gonna, you know, you're gonna have to have, if you want to do that shit, you need like a spray booth or something. You need, there's gonna be things that you can do it you could put it together it'd be all wrong or shitty but like a maker space that's got a spray booth yeah that's what you got to do okay yeah then you can get some cool deals on the on the knobs gotta get those fucking knobs just right okay how about how about this one? Something with gibberish in it? Hey, DK Sean.

Yep. This voicemail is probably going to be a lot of fucking stammering and shit. This event happened two weeks ago. I went over to my buddy's house, his dorm, for a party. And my buddy and a bunch of other guys left to go smoke and he left me his friend and a chick so it's just three of us sitting on a couch playing UFC 4 and I couldn't tell if my chick was like just a friend of my buddy and like the guys I'm pretty sure but she kept on like leaning on me and shit. She wasn't wasted. None of us had anything to drink yet.

So I guess the question is... That's not an accident. How the fuck do you navigate a situation where you don't quite know if a chick is like dating? Pretty much just ask, right? Nah, just grab her pussy. She's leaning on you. BOOM! Yeah, no, I lost it. Fucked. Gone. She's not touching you by accident. Like, they don't do that. Yeah. Somebody there definitely wants to fuck her.

And they'll hate you. But, you know, who cares? Fuck em. Do it. Don't ask. Whatever you do, don't ask. Because you're not gonna follow it. Just fuck her. You know?

Come on! Don't get over it. Or they won't. They'll try to ruin your life forever What do you do not fucker I mean that's kind of that's like a Captain Picard Last episode thing when you do not get stabbed in Dharam shock or whatever the right right those guys were Stabbing for him. Yeah, that's right. You're going to be a blue shirt forever. Of course you got to fuck her. Fake heart doesn't matter.

Uh, OK, last one. Hey, Dick, you know what makes me rage is people holding doors for you open wrong. How many fucking times has some fat ass stood in the doorway, like, propping the door open for me to enter cuz he Just right now I was approaching a door from the right that I have to pull open to the right Some guy coming out of the door stands there propping it open with his arm in the fucking way Yeah, like I have to wait for you to move or circumnavigate your fat fat fucking body What the fuck is your problem?

Yeah. Go fuck yourself. Come on, man. Yeah, there's- Come on, man. You're making it by trying to do a nice thing, you're making it less convenient for- Yeah. Hold it like this.

Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, you're missing the spirit of the gesture by like- What are you, stupid? No, you're gonna do this weird dance around trying to- Yeah. Lick him in his face when you go by. missing the spirit of the gesture by like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,