The Dick Show - Episode 413

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

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Fucking patio furniture. Fucked my back up. Really? I always think the bed is the most likely to fuck your back up. Oh god, my fucking bed, man. I've about had it. Yeah, when was the last time you got a new mattress? A new, uh, I don't know.

Not that long, right? Not that long ago, but this one I got, the mattress that I got, I got it out of spite I got it too hard. I remember you telling that story. That was a, you know, actually I don't know mattress that I got, I got it at a spite I got it too hard. I remember you telling that story. You know, actually I don't know if that was a mistake. Because now I'm gonna go... I remember you saying as hard as possible.

Yeah, I said like a pool table, right? Right. Um... Right. Without the felt. Just laying on slate. I just hate, I really hate making any kind of long-term purchases or decisions. I'll be honest with you.

Okay, I get that. That's a major problem for me. The bed thing too? Except for cars, I don't give a fuck. I'm always convinced that there's a better bed out there. That somehow I chose right, like it's like, oh no, well this- I'm gonna steal one from any hotel I've ever been to in my life. I'm just gonna take the bed and go. I know, sometimes they have really good beds.

So these cocksuckers learn that and then they say, oh, we've got beds just like in the hotel. I'm like, oh, I fucking know you don't. I know that you know that I want to hear that. They're hotel only model beds, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a special hotel one. Like, it's not the fucking hotel bed. There's some guitar manufacturers

that will do things on a small scale for certain music stores. Oh, really? And they have their own little special fucking bed. And they're better. They're just got little fe- they're supposed to- you know, they have the best tops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have the best- you know, there's little features that you can't get somewhere else. And-

Fucking shit working. And then I go, you know, I built this bed for my- it's working there, so it's got- Oh ho baby, we're in business. We're in bidness, I mean. Bidness? Excuse me. Yeah, you know what? in business. We're in bidness, I mean. Bidness? Yeah, you know what, bidness? Yeah, bidness. I know it.

I did it once. You did bidness once? One time. How'd it go for you? I think it went okay. Did you suffer any disrespect during the bidness? I might still be doing it. I'm not sure.

Nobody told me when it was over. You might still be up to bidness. I could be. Well, only you can say when the bidness has concluded, I think. I don't. I'm not sure. Nobody told me when it was over. Oh, you might still be up to bidness. I could be. Well, only you can say when the bidness has concluded, I think. I don't know much about bidness. I'm leaving my options open.

I thought I learned about bidness with all this Eric July stuff, but I think I know even less about bidness than when it started. Trucks me on one thing. Oh man, our biggest problem show, I think was horrible in Vegas. If Bidness be bitchin', his bidness is good.

His bidness is good. I'm here to do bidness and make spelling errors. Oh wait, and I'm definitely not out of spelling errors. So I guess I'm doing both still. Yes. You said the... Yira is out. Oh man, the You said the- Yaira is out. The bi-

Oh man, the biggest fucking problem show. I don't know. I don't know what- I don't know who thought that was a good idea. Let's go to someone else's show and do our podcast. These people don't know what the fuck we're talking about. You know? Is there not-

How much of a crossover audience is there? Uh, not enough. Hahahaha. And they weren't there. Was it like- I'll tell you that. Really? So were people just like... Kinda odd. It's hard to explain why a pirate is making a fat guy weigh himself for toys that he doesn't want.

You know? That's not like a universally accessible comedy trope. Nobody goes into that and goes, oh I've seen this one before. You have to know the personalities too. And not just quite the history of the show, but you have to, yeah, you do. I mean, that's... You gotta be able to say, is that guy an alcohol, should I be worried about that guy's alcoholism or is this like a joke?

Oh, it's a joke. Okay, well, I mean, it's a bit too close to home. I don't think he's kidding. On Jimi Hendrix's first tour of the United States, I think it was his first tour. He was already a huge star in England. Oh really? Dude, they had him open for the monkeys.

Now how do you think that went? Come on, you couldn't make that movie today. 11 year old girls and their parents, and here he comes out like fucking his amplifier. And I mean, how do you think it went? It went great. There is such a thing as your crowd, you know? Yeah.

It was fun though. Mint was there. That's cool. Riley was there. Coof was there. A bunch of dickheads were there. Right on. Came out.

Man Vito, that guy gets into it. He's like a constant, a guy his size, you wouldn't think he'd get into just a constant state of shenanigans and weird shit. What? He's so combative from the stage. He is that. I've seen him. I was only on one show when he was there. He strolls in. He comes in early so he can let a fan butter him up with free meals and stuff.

He comes in early so he can max out his girlfriend experience, but for Veto, the Veto friend experience. Rib eyes, you know, five star restaurants, all you can eat. He's going to, what is that L? It's not Lowry's, it's Peter Lugers. There's a Peter Lugers in Vegas. He goes, yeah, what's Peter Lugers? Pretty good.

I'm like, are you fucking cocksucker? What do you, I feel like I at least deserve some garlic bread from there. Something, yeah. You know, something, man. Creamed spinach. That's the best thing. Put some in your pocket.

I don't know. You should get me a pocket full of creamed spinach. Please, it's a thought. I did, but I ate it. Like, ah. Yeah. Boy, he's, you know... Yeah, you know what? He should be made to step on the scale more, frankly.

He should have it chained to him. It should be on his feet I'm gonna get him special shoes that read out you know the weight right? Can I get those made? Yeah sure. Can I make those for cheap? Does Temu have that? Chinese guys are working on it right now just hearing it through your phone. Shammu. What? I mean that's... I lose him during the show at some point. During, you know, Carl's show. Tons of funny guys. I lost him. Also, you wouldn't think that could happen.

I lost Vito. He shows up a couple minutes later. I go, where the fuck did you go? And he goes, oh man, I was hoping this guy would take apart a cabinet for 60 bucks. I had dessert at Ruth's Chris. 60 bucks? You're just walking down? First of all, it's hotter than the devil's taint in, you know, it's like radiating heat in Vegas. What time is this? This is like at four o'clock. Oh my god.

This is fucking peak siesta time. I know siesta time at any point, you know, in the world. I'm like, oh baby, you couldn't rouse me with any sort of magic right now or weaponry or motivation right now. I'm a fucking sombrero down, sunset riders, poncho pulled. I'm looking like trash. I'm trying to emulate trash over here so I don't get bothered. Vito's stumbling around the middle of not even sub-downtown Vegas, not even Downtown Vegas, Sub-Downtown Vegas Where it's liquor store, you know bar liquor store. Yeah, yeah Getting getting shanghaied into taking apart people's

Cabinets for 60 bucks. What what? Guys said hey man, I'm trying to move this thing. Well Well you want to help me take it apart and Vito goes yeah sure The fuck? What the fuck are you doing? No, he doesn't get How do you know fucking something bad ain't gonna happen? Hey you're gonna get shoved in right? You go in the van first right? Yeah

Put the Vito, put the lotion on his skin You go in the van first I'll put it in You're done buddy You're in a pit now You're in a shit pit under my house. That's it. Then at the very end of the show,

I gotta get out of here, man. You get the hose again and again. Get your guy that's giving you all this free food. Let's go somewhere nice, right? I haven't got a taste of any of the high life, right? You've been living up the big podcast host life. Clearly. All weekend getting Peter Lugers,

getting free cabinets or whatever the fuck you're doing. Let's go get your guy. Let's go somewhere nice because I got the perfect place. He takes us to a fucking all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue next to a gas station. This is not What it's good! It's all you can eat! I'm like you fucking you f- and and and get no this is even better! I'm leaving on Friday. Friday morning. I get up, I'm gonna blow ass outta town, right? Boom, ready, done, ready to go. Vito calls me and says, hey, I got a big problem. The post office just dropped off a box

of like $2,000 worth of Magic cards at my apartment. Can you or your girlfriend go pick it up? Oh, for fuck's sake. You knew you were going outta town and you got shipped a cache of expensive cards? You don't know any neighbors? There's nobody else you can, I guess I'll just wait around until they're delivered then.

Yeah, why would, I mean, he's gotta know somebody in his- No! Can you stop, can you just stop there? Ah! Ah! How long did you have to wait up around? Like an hour. Like an hour? How did you not see this coming? He's like, man, I gotta flip these.

This is good stuff to flip. I'm like, well no, I'm kind of flipping them, aren't I? While you're dining in on your leftover Peter Lugers. And your cabbage spinach, your spinach cabbage. Whatever it is. I'm now, I'm flipping the Magic Cards. This is a fun show. Alright, let's do this show. Get it out of my system.

Have you ever, the pool, the pool at this hotel smelled, reeked of, yeah! Welcome to Ick. You want Icky, you need Ickyy, you love Dicky, you've got it! Showroom's contest is going to be live from Mount and Bunk, the Deep and Hardest City of the United States, the best and I can't do it anymore. I'm your man! Joining me is always world touring, touring, touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Hello Dick. The pool, what's up buddy, the pool.

The pool, what did the pool smell like? It smelled like fucking sweat man. I don't know if, I don't know if it was because. Really? I think there were so many fat black women at this pool, this rooftop pool. Rooftop pool is now pejorative as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. Man, with the downtown, I love downtown Vegas. Yeah, I know you do.

Uh, because this strip, I just hate it. Because I see the women walking around there and I'm like, none of you would even, I don't't even think I don't even think I Can convince any of you that I'm real. I think you would think I'm some sort of a Manifestation of sadness like a Japanese Oni and you wouldn't even get that joke I would have to think of ten jokes before I get to one with a reference that you understood, right? Then you and you would still not believe you say I had this crazy daydream where I encountered a sad old man And and the her friend would say I had this crazy daydream where I encountered a sad old man and her friend would say I had that same daydream That guy that was trying to say jokes for some weird reason. What the fuck was that? Yeah, both had the same daydream of a person of a man who doesn't exist

You're like Michael Knight Wait what? He's a man who doesn't exist. Michael Knight? Yeah, Knight Rider. Oh yeah, I'm exactly like- In the shadowing world of a man who does not exist. That guy really hit the liquor hard, Sean. Oh Michael Knight. Someone should say something. So I hate the strip because I hate who's on it. Love downtown except there's always one big, there's always one big fuck-up downtown one big fuck up downtown. They have, um, they have, somebody has decided that it's European to not have, to have like three and a half walls in every shower in Vegas now and in hotels in general. Some jackass has toured, Johnny fucking fucked up shower seat, has toured the country and convinced hoteliers

that they only need three and a half walls for every shower. Why is that? I do not know, but it is uh, I haven't taken a, I haven't taken a dry sock shower in a hotel in like eight years. Oh god, I know, it gets all over the fucking floor. When I'm in there, I feel like I'm getting, I'm getting hosed off. Yeah. In like some sort of cubicle that I've been ushered into.

There should be a drain in the center of the fucking floor and it just... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take out all the walls. Just take out, just put the bed, put some plastic on the bed, have me hit a button and a bunch of fucking hose, slithering hoses come out and shoot around. It's very undignified. Worse still was the pool, the, rooftop pool, which is, I don't know, it's about the size of Frances Buxton's bathtub, which sounds luxurious, but not when it's about 98% full of fat, loud black women who are,

there's about this much water, you understand? And I'm holding about a cup. There's more liquid in my souvenir cup for $35. It's been displaced, you're saying. Yes, there's about this much, there's about a cubic, there's about six cubic inches of water remaining in the pool. Wow.

So I dive in. But the rest is like sweat or something? No, the rest is human flesh, if you can call it that. Okay. And it's got one of those goddamn, you know, God bless the handicapped people, but it's got one of those chairs that is like an excavator that lowers the handicapped people into the pool that they... I thought they only had it like rich handicapped people's house, but I guess now they have

it all pools. But the pool's so small they can't tuck it away somewhere. Usually they hide that shit behind a rock or something. But it worse is being reminded of, you know, the handicappedness while you're looking at it. But then also not ever seeing anybody use it. I'm like, well, okay, it does look kind of cool. Yeah. I do want to see somebody, you know, Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv I don't know. I mean I- These are questions I've never- I hope you do. I mean- You hope the handicapped people do it?

Well, I mean it would be- This one goes in the mouth, this one goes in the butt. Yeah. Oh wait. On the count of three switch Yeah, I don't know I've uh- The pools- I've never seen anybody use one of those. The water smells. Yeah. I jumped in I accidentally got part of my hair wet so now it's- that's ruined. Oh. Um... Anyway. It was a fun trip. And no Peter Lugers.

Nothing for me! Except all you can eat Korean. I mean, Korean's good, but not when you have... Not when you've been getting teased by fucking Vito all weekend. Yeah, I would imagine it'd be pretty good. Very upset by it. Let's see. A Yira came out.

Really? You just hit and see some of that? Yeah, you know I am. I guess I just don't get it. Oh man. You don't get what? Just him just opening this world without having any kind of... He's got two episodes of like the central

Oh, it's so fucking dumb. The crux of his universe, right? Yeah, I don't even know. I could just There's like a fuckup on every single page. Like you're like all of it's goofy Introducing like a character like six pages into your first issue ever of anything like They're all named, so stupid. This about sums it up for me. Let me just find, let me find this.

Uh, here it is. People have to, there's gotta be, there has to be some kind of a backlash, right? I mean, people aren't still just doubling down. I don't know if it matters, man. Not everybody, right? They're weird, the fans of this guy. The people who just wanna buy this shit to like pretend to, I don't know if it matters man, they're weird. They're weird, the fans of this guy. The people who just want to buy this shit to like pretend to...

Yeah, I mean, you know. I don't know, spite purchases? I don't know what they're doing. It's like a political donation. Well, no, I know. That they're doing. Yeah, sure. Like why does anybody... why did Trump get 30 million dollars after he got convicted of like bullshit? Right, because...

Who's sitting there, oh yeah, I gotta give this guy some... Right. I've never thought that, so I don't know. Right I gotta give this guy some right. I've never thought that so I don't know right Me give someone money. Yeah, why would I do that right? Well, you know is Fighting for you. I'll keep doing it Maybe he's got some money for me too. I got the fight right. Let me get some of that money, right? Let me get some of that good stuff. Yeah, here's Here's the news anchor on Yaira, the appearance of Yaira.

She says, this is a news anchor live. Like you see this kind of thing in comic books, right? Where a news anchor says stuff. Of course. Pretty hacky, I think. Yeah, but you see that the talking heads are always, you know. Yeah, like this is day, this is week 200 of the pandemic. Right.

Still no gigantic mounting death toll, right? That's what you'd want it like a brief little thing to set up the action, right? Sure. The newscaster says, Yaira has powers that allow her to fly and manipulate the element of ice. Yeah, I know, I read that.

It's where my eyes went. Yeah. Is that part of the culture? Do I not know? I don't know. Is that an element now? You know. Does it identify it?

Is ice an element now? Words. Earth, water, wind, fire, and ice? Ice baby? Yeah. Is that like Simon and Garfunkel, you know, he got kicked out and yeah? Yeah.

Ice was... Although it's, okay, she continues. She has powers that allow her to fly. Maybe a way to say that is she can fly. I don't know if the new, well, I don't wanna pick the news direction. Yeah, she has powers that allow her to fly. Allow her to fly. You mean like the power of flight?

That's the, she has the power of flight, you would say. That allows her to fly. You mean like the power of flight? She has the power of flight, you would say. That allows her to fly. Why is he so retarded? Why didn't someone edit this? See, because those piss twins that he employed, the women that I, I mean a lot of people said, man, you're hiring like feminist piss twins. They're going to fuck up your, they're going to turn this into the shit you guys hate. It's like just feminist trash.

I mean, there's no indication that they can write. You certainly can't, so I don't think this is a good team up. Whatever. Yaira has powers that allow her to fly and manipulate the element of ice. Manipulate it. You can manipulate like Magneto manipulates like electricity, the electrical fields, you know? Because the field's there and he's like,

BWAH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH-WEE-OH. Manipulate the element of ice. You know how manipulating ice would be like, you're pulling it out of like a drink, right? Oh, here we go! Sounds real dangerous! Go get me some Peter Lugar! I'm manipulating.

Go get me a, yeah. You want a scotch? I'm going scotch earth on the rocks. Absolutely. Scotch earth, very good. I gotta manipulate that. Already better than anything in the book. It's already funnier.

Manipulate the element of ice, although it's not clear how. Huh. It's a fucking mind-bender. Right, it's a mystery. Yeah, exactly. We've got a team of monkeys working 24-7 on it to figure this out. We'll bring you the updates as it comes. Have you ever... Is that a thing a news says? That's kind of a... Although we're not clear how. on it to figure this out. We'll bring you the updates as it comes. Have you ever?

Is that a thing a news says? That's kind of a- Although we're not clear how. How do all, well then how do all the other powers work? We don't know. If you say anything- How the fuck does any of it work? Although you say anything, it's,

you would say something like experts are on it. We don't care if you, why would you know it? Although it's not clear how? Yeah. What do you mean it's not clear how? I don't know, I don't know. The whole thing is, yeah, it's not clear how? Yeah. What do you mean it's not clear how? I don't know. I don't know. The whole thing is, yeah, it's not good.

Are you clear on some of them? That lady could travel through time. It's super clear how. It is? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, science. Oh, okay. She also has super strength.

Oh, wow. How about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We kind of know what that one is. Kind of saved it at the end there, you know? Super strength. Good. Something we can all get behind. We understand it, right?

Tell, don't show. That's what you do. Yeah. Always tell, don't show. Yeah, there is... Somebody give a... There's a lawyer in Discord. If somebody, if he says anything,

please give the lawyer access to to chalk and call in. He's a defense attorney that I want to talk to. Do you want to hear more of Yaira? I don't know, do people like Yaira? Yeah, because it's horrible. How do you not like it? We gotta see more of this. This is This is, this is, she dresses up in a disguise at one point. Let me see if I can find that. Oh, I don't wanna see that one yet. Let's see if there's any more cringe shit in here.

Oh yeah, this is, I mean, this is kinda odd, isn't it? Q-tip fight, is that what? I guess this is a lady in a retirement home. I need Q-tips, I'm out of them. And then the lady she's talking to is like a nurse and she says $20. But I don't have any money.

And she says for a pack of Q-tips? Yeah. What the? This is part of the story, I guess. It's a lady looking for a lady with the beefiest Popeye arms ever, an old lady. Yeah, like a, like kind of sinually strong, like a, yeah. There's Eric July back there.

Like a dock worker. Yeah, asking for Q-tips. So is this like, is she gonna like, you know, set this right? She the champion of the- Is Yirek the Q-tip champion? She's gonna come in and straighten things out for this lady? Twenty bucks for Q-tips is fucking insane.

But I mean... Yeah, it is a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, old people, we know they need Q-tips. A lot of shit collects in places, I think. Do they need a whole box, though? Because they might die before they use them. Maybe they're buying little think they use individual pack They use a lot of q-tips Look at this trash. It's just like scribbled in like a child right the color is like. Oh, yeah Well, I got a decent

That's his that's the libertarian utopia 20 bucks for q-tips like this is your this is your libertarian paradise. Why are you making it... Oh no, more just needless violence, right? Yeah, this is girl boss shit. Okay, let me find something. Oh yeah, look at here, this is the one I'm looking for. This is a disguise that Yaira goes, wears around. Oops, what happened to it?

She... wears around. Oops, what happened to it? She, if you go to Google and type in disguise, this is what you get. This trans-colored Carmen Sandiego outfit. Look at these tits, Sean. These are tits you could run the Indy 500 with these tits. Look at them. Those babies are packed. Tight. No doubt.

I don't know. What do you... What do you think about this outfit? Trans. Trans Carmen Sandiego? Yeah. Carmen Sandiego, but it's swapped a little bit? Yeah, yeah. Carmen San Francisco I saw some place there.

Hahaha. I don't know. It looks a little weird. Yeah. It's all... Let's see, here's... Oh yeah, she kills this guy because he says he wants to bust a nut in her. I don't think that's appropriate for kids, do you? No, I mean...

So she breaks all these guys out of prison. And then this guy says, whoops, this guy says, well, would you look at you, babe? How can Eddie even begin to thank that perfect body? Is he Eddie? I assume so, but it's not indicated. Third person, yeah. Usually you wanna say I, you know, when his character's referring to themselves.

You don't wanna throw in a weird- Eddie talk like Eddie gonna talk, yeah. You don't wanna throw in any kind of weird, like, Jimmy references, right, for a rapist. How can Eddie even begin to think that perfect body of yours for busting me out inconsistence should be busting Eddie out maybe Eddie could bust up how can just commit for fuck's sake that perfect body so he doesn't use any pronouns he's so right wing he doesn't even use pronouns for you. Right? How can Eddie even begin to think that perfect body of yours?

Right. Why would you think the... Okay. For busting me out, Eddie, it should be Eddie out. Maybe I could bust and then she turns around and... She'll bust something in his... And murders him. Yeah.

Yeah, it looks like, I mean, that's a lot of blood. I'm guessing he's probably dead. That's a lot of blood. I'm guessing he's probably dead. I'm guessing he's probably dead. I'm guessing he's probably dead. Bust, uh, and then in that and then she turns around and uh, She busts uh, something in his- And murders him. Yeah. Yeah, looks like, I mean that's a lot of blood. I'm guessing he's probably dead. That's a lot of blood around the neck region, right? Because she was disrespected, of course. Again.

Again. Yeah. Again. We have, again, we have the trope of, you disrespected me, I'm gonna instantly turn around and murder you. Right. It's not heroic. She could've just punched him in the dick and that would've been like a great like Yeah. His eyes bug out like all of a sudden you have this really graphic thing and then it's just like

the most hilarious pained expression on his face. Yeah, I would let that fly. Yeah. Uh, but instead she decapitates him. Looks that way. Drives his, uses that old nose into the brain. Right. That's a real man hater wrote that.

I've got news for you. Yeah. That maybe I could bust us. So she's decided to kill him at that perfect body of yours for busting me. Then she said, oh, I got to kill you, right? Maybe I could bust and then. She doesn't know what he's going to say. She doesn't know what he's going to say.

Not for sure. Seems a little like a preemptive strike. It's not even that aggressive for a convicted felon in prison. Right, I mean... I mean, that's not that bad. He thanked her. He did thank her. He's figuring out ways to thank her.

Maybe it was gonna be a list. Like, oh, you don't want that? Maybe I could bust a door open for you. Maybe Peter Lugers. Maybe Eddie could take you to Peter Lugers. Maybe I could bust out my checkbook and take you to a nice dinner. Right. Right.

We'll never know what he was gonna say or do. No, cause he doesn't have a face anymore. Cause he's a man and he's white, so he's obviously a rapist, right? Ha ha ha, okay. Right? Maybe I could bust a door down for you sometime. Maybe I could bust a rapist across the face for you.

Right. Ironically. Yeah, I mean if you think that's peculiar. I think if you probably sat her down, maybe, you know, got her in a calmer state, she'd go like, yeah, I was probably a little quick to act. This doesn't read! This does not read! It doesn't read!

This, whatever you're going for, does not work! But you have to be able to read before you can write and that's Shit man thing you so bad every single fucking page so retarded They've got to be people have got to be yeah starting to well at least the or the people who are very vocal You know in defense have got to be kind of quiet At some point it's like, why am I even? Why am I defending this shit? It's trash.

I'm not making any money for it. Now everyone's making fun of me. I mean, there was one, there's one more thing I want to do. And then we'll, then we're done with the ice on shit. Okay. This is a lot. So she goes in here. Oh boy, there's a lot of fucking writing here. Let me see.

Oh yeah. You know, you know that's a problem of fucking writing here. Let me see. Oh yeah, you know, you know, that's a problem, right? Yeah, well, that's yeah. Of all the things Eric July's bad at, writing is the worst. The more you play on a-on the freeway, the greater a chance, you know, if you don't stay anywhere near it, not by your problem. How many words is that comic? About one thousand-uh? And two hundred-oh, okay. thank God. I thought you were going to. She says, Salari. Oh, and you know, the whole animated or the animated trailer that we watched. Yeah, the whole thing is verbatim in the in the comic.

Oh, it is. Yeah. She says Salari and it's all icy. She goes, you have this is Yaira. She's standing in a prison for super villains. Right. Okay? And she says, Solari, you have something of mine? Yeah.

Except she doesn't have an accent. Sometimes they write her with this goofy font that makes it look like she has an accent. Sometimes she has no accent. I don't know what's supposed to be when. I mean, you can't really disguise an accent or else you would talk like not perfectly Clark like Superman doesn't talk with an Irish accent, and then he goes into work. He's like oh hello everyone Oh, Lex Luthor! You have something of- uh oh did I- oh there we go. You have something of mine, she says. Uh-huh

You want to fuck with my life except the fuck is bleeped out because it's kid friendly. But using the swear and bleeping it out does not make it kid friendly. Having the swear is not kid friendly. I mean, yeah, it just makes the kid think of that. That's not the point of swearing. It's not just bleeping out swears. It's not like pixelated Japanese pornography is not safe for kids. You want to fuck with my life, I'll fuck with yours! You're a clever boy.

Do you know what temp- do you know at what temperature steel goes from ductile to brittle? That's real fighting words. I don't think I know that first word. Uh, what? Ductile. Ductile? Ductile is the ability of metal to be deformed without snapping. It's like the opposite of brittle. So it's like tempered steel? Like the word?

Well, ironically stainless steel does not do this. So he's talking about steel. Steel and iron do, but I mean not stainless. The kind you would make a super super max prison for Supervillains would be probably cryogenic stainless steel so would not do what you're saying so it'd have to be like at least like Isn't like cryogenics. Why are we talking like minus 320 Fahrenheit or some shit like that? I mean it gets down to zero it gets well not actually zero that's impossible

But anywhere between like zero and negative 100 Celsius I mean I think, I'm not a fucking metallurgist. Yeah, I don't know what the hell. I know that though! What's absolute zero? 273 Kelvin? Yeah. Yeah, which is- Well, negative 273. Oh, zero Kelvin. Oh yeah, my bad. Yeah. That's the conversion. So that's it. You can't go fucking more than that. It would be a better comic if she didn't know that. Yeah. That's not how steel... Okay, you're gonna freeze the... It's like autistic stainless steel. Freeze the steel so it so it shatters. All right, well. But that's not... well, whatever. Yeah, that one is not as bad as some of the other...

It's pretty bad. I mean, but you you know, like, people are not gonna really dwell on, like, whether... They should, though! That property of that steel versus iron versus, you know what I mean? Well... Different kinds of stainless, too. Yeah. There's lots of different kinds of stainless. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess a crappy kind they made the saving some money libertarian

paradise, I guess. I don't know hide the the parking garage in Vegas yeah yeah shit you not this really said this yeah park the car you know sometimes in the parking garage you're like this is not a this is I don't feel safe at this parking garage at all even though it's fine. There's a sign on it, and you know how the signs used to say, uh, this sign means that, you know, you could have your car broken into and we're not liable and all this, like, giant paragraph shit? Yup.

The sign now in Vegas said, lock your car, hide your stuff. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like, hide my... I was kind of surprised that it said stuff and not shit. Yeah. Hide your stuff and shit. Lock your car. Hide your stuff.

Like... Are we... Do you have a sign that maybe... Cause ain't nobody gonna be patrolling around here to stop this kind of shit. People gonna get in your car. Don't give them a reason. Don't give them a reason. The nicer language of the other sign at least made me feel safe. Yeah. This sign doesn't really make me have a good feeling about my car, okay?

No, sure. It's unlikely that there's... Is it so bad that it's guaranteed to be broken until? Because that's what the sign makes me think. They just... Hide your stuff where? No liability whatsoever. You've been warned. Hide it under the car? Should I tape it under the car?

Yeah. What do you mean hide my stuff? Maybe? I don't know You pay fucking pay like 60 bucks to hang out there And you couldn't put one extra camera in the parking garage You got a hundred million in the casino to protect all your stuff right you care so little about my stuff Yeah, that is I don't even get a I don't even get a proper sentence But then it's gonna be inconvenient someone to like the cops ask for the fucking surveillance footage and like they don't give a fuck. They just go look we told you

We said hide your stuff. We basically told you it's gonna happen. You didn't really tell me how well I should hide it though. Yeah, like a squirrel with nuts so that I forget where it is or what? Yeah. Put a blanket over it? Are the criminals aware of the blanket, the jacket trick here? Most, they're not usually magicians. So they don't always get the handkerchief. They're very fooled by that. Yeah, like it's-

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're right. I didn't think of that. Yeah. They can think like, oh shit, like it could be a baby. And I- I don't want that. I'm not raising another, no way.

I don't want another baby. That's why I'm here, stealing- Yeah. Shit under blankets in people's cars. Could be diapers, but I'm not raising another, no way. I don't want another baby. That's why I'm here, stealing shit under blankets in people's cars. Could be diapers, but I'm not taking the chance. How come there's never any signs for like the thieves? Yeah. Someone got shot breaking into a car here last week.

Good. Right? That's good. Why not? Yeah, that's good. That's a good sign. Yeah. It's just me, it's my problem. Hide yo, I'm surprised they put your and not yo.

Hide yo stuff, like okay. Bro, everything is your problem now. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh of good fellas You know what a fucking insurance company told me because you know home insurance They're not insuring any homes in California anymore Yeah, State Farm and the big companies are not insuring any homes. Yeah, cuz they might actually there's there might be a might have to be risk There might be a little bit of risk. Oh, there's no dick Don't you there's not supposed to be any risk in business

How many how many mass shootings is too many to be fantasizing about every day? Oh God. Do I have to go to a therapist and then go to prison for asking that question? What is, what's the amount? Look, it's the, the problem is, is that it's, you know, it's at the wrong-

I hope it's more than one. It's at the wrong people, you know, most of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta get in these trans kids' heads.. Just tell them where the real hey, man You know who really hates trans people? fucking banks State Farm fucking hates that's why they all do this I don't know if I would say a state farm in particular. They're the ones that pulled out!

Yeah, right. No, they're the ones I called them! Hey, I'm inquiring about a you know, new home insurance. We don't do that. And he said, oh no, we don't do that. Well, you know, the thing is, we were making for every dollar of insurance we were pulling in, we were paying a dollar 30. Yeah, I'm sure. And I'm like, why did you say that in that tone to me right now?

And why do you expect me to believe you? I thought I was having an out of body experience. It's like, is this what it feels like to be a woman? You gotta look at it from our perspective. It's tough getting by out there, dick. Bro, you gotta, bro, we were having to pay out, you know, for people to fix their houses. Yeah.

And it's just so much, it's so much more expensive. It's insane. So what about- How fucking so unreasonable. What's your goal? Well, our goal generally is to pay out zero. Right. That's ideal. And if we do, then to jack your rate up or drop you.

You don't average it out for like 20 years? Oh, no, no, no. Every year we got to be making money. That's right. Ugh. That's right. I really, I was on autopilot. He said that to me and I said some shit like, I either,

I get into a trance where I just hear like, oh, right? And I can know I'm talking. And I hear like, ooh, right? And I can know I'm talking and I'm like, man, am I killing this guy or am I just like, kind of like agreeing with him and like, getting inside of things? Cause that's the same. I wouldn't, if I, when I wake up in five minutes, I won't be surprised that either happened.

Either we had a great conversation and had reached a point of mutually understanding or I'm covered in blood, like a a like a werewolf in a full moon man it's yeah well yeah the crazy thing is is for every dollar we took in we were spending a dollar 30 like why in the fuck would you ever why would you ever just call my mama whore would be less expensive or less offensive than what you just said. Good day, sir! Oh shit. How about that shit? Sadly, extremely believable.

You know the point where the ductility of bars becomes brittle? Yeah. Is that the best way you could say that? What's the- No, no... I didn't understand it. I mean, I knew that he was talking about making bars brittle. But I mean, like, you know... You know what would have been a great way to say that? What?

You know, you know how to make steel brittle? ICE! Right? Yeah, exactly. Right. Not the ductility of like, what are you, filling out a fucking OSHA form from for your warehouse to Brittle Yeah, you know them you know the ductility rating of the D the D to BB ratio of a ductile Is Brittle what you would say like if you're going to say you would say ductile and then the opposite would be brittle. Yeah

What's because I'm not a material science expert, but I fucking know what steel is used in. Put a little bit of VETERGEN in it or whatever, put a little bit of fucking CHROMEUM in it. Vanadium. That should have been his response. Gooding should have popped up. Actually, the most... I manipulate the element of respect and you're all out well punch through here is that working for you element jokes yeah why not nice the nastiest element the element of ice just

ask somebody hey does this shit would this work no that wouldn't work do you think he got that from like a you're watching car commercial? It's like this keep you know your car helps your car run through the elements better Yeah, you see like snow or ice or like why ice is an element or just the elements meaning you know The stuff that you know is hard on tires or windshield wipers or fucking paint or something I think you know it's like I think you got it from video games. Because you always see ice used in video games. And that's also the dumbest place I could think it would be.

You're figuring out where the, yeah. You know, I always try to be the autism whisperer, you know? I gotta know what's in their heads. Yeah, sure. Just as a, you know, as a fun thing that I like to do. Yeah. Pope said the F slur. What? Oh man. Oh no. Oh no. I guess he did. I don't know. What else do I have before we get to the Riketa stuff? Is my, is my lawyer here? Is my, is my, did my lawyer get admin or whatever?

Let me see if he's responding to me. Let me take this off first Okay, yeah, let me get his user, okay, what's your username? What's your username got a lot of Stuff coming in here. Yeah, you're juggling it. Well Thanks You know Trump's going it you think they're gonna send Trump to jail. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not going to jail You don't think so. No, I don't know man. They're gonna lock his ass up That's optimistic what if they do I'd be

Shocked Shocked say oh damn it. What if they do? I'd be... shocked. Laugh? Shocked. I'll say, oh damn it. I guess they did. I saw some woman on the news trying to explain what he did. That was pretty funny, but I won't bore everyone with that shit. Here's the stimulus calculator that I have for you. Two $1,000 stimulus checks cost and inflation

$16,000 a year Forever that was the end that ended up being the cost of that little program that that we excitedly embraced so thunderous applause of new televisions and Yeah, right new wardrobes and new bullshit. Hey, fuck it. Fuck it, you got something right now. That inflation totaled up to 16,000. Yeah, I think that's about right. Sweet.

So that's pretty good. Yeah. Can enjoy that. Go for it. We can enjoy that one. Something for Bitcoin, something of other bullshit. I don't know. Let's just talk about this Nick stuff.

Let's get right into that. All right. Yeah, I wasn't sure you were going to treat this. The Nick stuff? Yeah, I wasn't sure how much. Well, I, you know, the affidavit came out and it's just, every part of it just reeks of a pastor on a fishing expedition to scrounge up some bullshit. Like small town church gossip, which turned into this jilted whatever ex fucking swinging partner. This guy, Aaron Inholt, the steel-toe guy, bragging on his podcast about how he was doing cocaine with Nick,

and then a cop who self-identifies as a drug expert slash child sex porn ex- like he's got every crime listed that he has extensive training in, watching Nick's streams going cocaine Yeah, here it is probable cause. Yeah, which is in no way And is fucking retarded The all the all the child neglect shit. Yeah came from one preschool teacher. That's yeah I checked just a little bit. I was just wanted to see kind of what people were saying Why are people saying that like,

oh, and his kids turned them in? Like, is there anything to that that I didn't really- Connor, let me- I went out of town. You went out of town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just add, let me add Connor here. A real legit defense attorney.

And I take like, I mean, I take everything with this with a grain of salt. I mean, it's like I don't I have a. I mean, look, man, if the preschool here's here's the facts. If the teacher was concerned that neglect was going on, she's the mandated reporter. It's not. Yeah, it's not start being Nancy Drew and discussing it with everybody in the church. And then the well does she report? and then the biggest attention whore in church the fucking one who's on stage every week

doing the podcast goes to the cops and takes all the fucking credit for it and the glory right? that's not how it works do they say who made the... would they say who the mandated reporter is? do we go over that? well it's the teacher they both are but the person who gets mandated reporter is? Did we go over that? Well, it's the teacher. They both are, but the person who gets the complaints is the one who has to do it.

It's not, hey, let's all gather up. And because she didn't, I will say, I'm gonna say definitively, because I know Nick, and there's zero fucking chance that any child neglect was happening, because he's a fucking millionaire with a house full of, I mean, these kids are like in baking classes. I know what his house looks like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. Here's what I will say is that if you're... If you are in the... In deep with addiction, anything is possible. Like, just because you have... It doesn't mean you can't neglect the rest of your life. I have no idea if he's anywhere near there. And I've seen...

I've seen liquor addicts and coke addicts, they don't look like, they don't wake up the next day and drive their kids to school. No, they're not fine the next day. They're fucking a disaster all the time. They don't get caught with a whole ounce of cocaine. Yeah, my uncle, he was up for days at a time sometimes. Yeah, I mean, that's not what this was.

He called the cops one time, where there were people in his bushes in the front yard and stuff. And he remembers them looking like, there's nobody here. And in his mind, there were fucking people out there. That's the addiction I know. Yeah. I'm trying to fucking find this dude. Why can I never find shit in my own Discord? I'm just going to turn into a pedophile so I can work Discord better.

Oh boy. That's the only way to... I mean, I need Discord to do the show and I can't... The only people that know how to use it correctly are pedophiles, I'm pretty sure. And there are... And there's... You know, Nick and his wife are home, right? I mean, like, it does seem...

I would be... I'm surprised that child neglect is is like thrown around Where it's like they have to they have to make your stick they have they fucking yeah It does it does seem it seems like I mean you would be seeing the it's not like you're You lock them in the shed and you've got the house to yourself, right? I mean like like you're seeing them all the time I would imagine that... You're driving them to school man! It's not kids that miss school! It would surprise me if they were that far into hardcore nothing else matters

addiction like I would be very I'd be very surprised. It's so fucking stupid. It's so fucking stupid and it's pissing me off more and more by the day that every the the people who are jumping on it the hardest are coincidentally the people have the biggest incentive to drive Nick down with charges that he now I mean he can't beat he can't come out and say my house is full of food the pants the pants full of food the fucking teachers yeah the kids are hungry at fucking lunchtime that's what they're they're definitely hungry then that I'm sure they did say oh fuck I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all day

Yeah, I mean here. Let me find this guy Can someone help me please? Can a pedophile in the discord help me please? Oh my god, you're not gonna get any fucking I will Yeah, there's always a smartass huh? It's all fun and games. Is he in there? Uh...

Oh, he sent me a DM. Okay. Well, they changed the fucking DM process, too. Uh, oh, yes. Alright, alright, alright, alright. Arrrr. Obviously, I'm biased, because he's my friend. Yeah, yeah, of course. And I support my friends. Yeah, well, yeah. I support my friends. Yeah, well, yeah. I support my friends over the fucking government and church.

Yeah, well, yes. And I attack people who don't support them. That's also true. Also true. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uh As a friend. I really, like, the only thing, like, I'm not judging him. Nick? Yeah, I don't have any fucking, I don't have any place to fucking do that. Like, I like Nick. Okay, he's in my server.

Like, Nick is a very, he's a smart, capable guy. I just, I really, all I would want is for him and his family to be alright. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's nice, yeah. Whatever needs to happen, whatever he needs to do, whatever problems he does or doesn't have, how much, it doesn't...

It just... there's a... You know, you could... whether you're in the weeds or on the side of the roadway, you can get it back! There he is, I see him. Alright, alright. So, Connor's a defense lawyer. Uh-huh. Connor, can you say something? I'm trying to... I'm pressing all the buttons. There you are! Yeah. Connor, can you say something? I'm trying to... I'm pressing all the buttons.

There you are! Yeah, I guess I'm not such a non-pedophile after all, Sean. Okay. Press the correct buttons. Connor, how you doing? You want to introduce yourself a little bit? Yeah, so I'm doing pretty well. I'm happy to be here. My name is Connor. I'm a defense lawyer in the south. I practice criminal justice in a county of about 50k people. And which is roughly the size of what the county Mr. Cato works in. So I think I have a little bit of experience in the similar demographics that he may be finding himself in. Can we call him New Nick? New Nick?

New Nick. Do you want to be cursed with that? No. Name? Connor? You want to be New Nick? No, we don't want to be New Nick. I don't want to be New Nick.

The police may be knocking on my door if I'm New Nick. I don't want that. So Nick got a, he petitioned for a new judge and he got, he was awarded a new judge in his cocaine cowboy trial. Because things that his statements he made could she could have bias because of that. He called her a dumb bitch for like an hour and a half and that she's a typical woman and just like to argue and that she'd come back the next day and say, you know, I was thinking you were right.

He really... So I mean, so he knew he had to get out in front of that, right? Makes sense. Yeah, you know, he didn't run a Trump situation. Okay, so, I mean, I don't know, Connor, what's your first thoughts on this whole thing? Anything jump out at you that's interesting with your experience? The first thing I noticed was basically why they were searching his house. Typically when you get a search warrant you describe to the judge who

approves the warrant a pattern of behavior that would lead a you know legal speak but a reasonable person to believe a crime is happening or about to happen. Uh-huh. And I've never seen a search warrant read like this one. It starts off with... Really? You mean like, what do you mean you've never seen a search warrant read like this? Yeah, so I practice, you know, a lot of criminal law, I've read a lot of search warrants. A lot of the search warrants for going into somebody's house typically involve, you know, allegations that that person is dealing or trafficking something.

And what would that be like? Like with that, because the allegations here are, the pastor. It be like. It be like it do? Yeah. But it is. The pastor says, Nick left sermons a couple of times

and came back. That other parishioners at the church saw him driving drunk You're under the influence. Okay, and that he seemed lethargic at church if you can believe that he's got five kids. Yeah Yes, I don't know about Minnesota, but leaving church isn't a crime So there needs to be a little bit more to it than that So yeah, that's what I'm saying. When it reads a little different than most of the warrants, I see most of the words I see. You know, it's it's police either

doing a controlled by from somebody like they'll knock on their door, go inside and they'll be wired up and mic'd up and, you know, get somebody on, you know, tape selling them drugs. And that's how they justify the warrant.

So I shouldn't be. Is that not you shouldn't be selling drugs So random people to come to your house. You should at least vet them To make sure they're not a pat him down like you're not a cop, right? Is that still the way to do that, you know, cuz you have to tell me that's pretty foolproof Exactly. Okay. Yeah, so it's it's controlled by or the police are just like on your street surveilling you Just making sure that there's a reason to go in the house because they need it ultimately a reason to apply for a warrant to a judge.

So if there's a lot of people going in and out a lot of shady folk, like different car every day that could lead somebody to reasonably reasonably think that there's drugs going on at the house. Yeah. So I guess it's kind of, I guess what I'm, there's the difference between child neglect, which is sort of claimed,

which is claimed as secondhand by the pastor. The pastor says, the preschool teacher says, the kids said they were hungry. That's one thing, but then the drugs, it doesn't seem like the two are related. In all the statements in the affidavit for the search warrant, it seems like, it seems like the drug stuff all came from Aaron Himholt

and then the cop watching Nick on stream and all the kids stuff came from a preschool teacher saying that the kids were saying they're hungry. Is that weird? Like is that... I don't know. I've never seen it. You've never seen something like that? So I've never seen a warrant to go into somebody's house for child neglect. Usually that is a welfare call. You know, a mandated reporter puts in a tip to a hotline somewhere and then the Department of Human Services or, you know, CPS or whatever state calls it goes in and does an investigation

for neglect. Those are two separate things, two separate agencies handle them. Typically the police don't really care unless there's something else going on. And so, yeah, I don't think you get the search warrant without the video. And that's really the only thing I can see that that points to maybe crimes happening, probable cause for that. So is that valid? Because every single if I'm even a little bit high energy, and I have never done I have never done drugs streaming. I mean, besides liquor, never. But every episode somebody will say,

I swear to God that's true. Oh no, no. Every episode somebody will say- We've been on other people's streams on acid, right? This show. Yeah, yeah. I've never done this show on anything other than liquor. I've never seen you under what I would even think

was like on crosswords or anything like that. I've never seen it. Is that, but there's, there was always be a bunch of people saying, oh, you're obviously so coked up on this episode. And like, it's not, I mean, there's no point arguing with it. But I know it's not true. What I'm asking is, is that, is it possible for the cops to watch a stream and self identify as like visual drug sniffing dogs and say like boom this guy's obviously on

Something other than life. He's obviously high on something other than life and law So I need to bust them. I need I need a warrant Yeah, I think it's theoretically possible. But again, i've seen hundreds of these search warrants and i've never once seen that. I've never seen somebody get a warrant for essentially suspected drug use. It's always for dealing or it's always for repeated trafficking drugs out of the house. And there's been no accusations of like selling drugs, trafficking drugs, anything like that. Cause I know what you're saying.

It is, I've heard, cause I remember, the cop that we both know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He worked like a long, long time. Talk about, they do the buys. They do like all the- He would say the same thing. Yeah, oh no, I know. It's not just like, oh so and so does Coke on the weekends

go over to his, you know, it's like. Yeah, really. No, no, no. Like kick the shit out of over to his, you know, it's like, no, no, no, no. Kick the shit out of, yeah. Right, right, it's like, no, it's, what a reason, it's like, what are all these weird cars doing, at odd hours all the time? Like, it's a lot more than like, yeah, there's drugs, he looks high on stream. Yeah, and being high isn't really, I mean,

it's not a crime unless you're doing something else. You know, like if you're driving while high, that's a crime. If you're making an ass of yourself in public, that's a crime. But doing or being intoxicated without anything else, that's really not a reason to get war. You could be in the hospital. Yeah, exactly. You're not doing anything.

You're high. They made me high. Yeah, exactly. Rack up crimes They made me high. Yeah. Exactly. Rack up crimes every couple of seconds based on how I am. You have a lot of nurses, man. So what about like this, I've seen people throw this one at me a lot. It's the, they say like, well, it's, you know, it's all these things combined, really, it's a pattern of behavior.

And when anybody says that, I start thinking, oh, you actually have nothing. You just don't like this guy and you want to get him for something. Is that, is there? Yeah, go ahead. There is something to that, in that to get a search warrant probable cause is based off of what we in the legal profession say, the totality of the circumstances,

which is just all the factors added up makes a reasonable person think crimes are happening. So, yes, but it seems clear to me that you don't get a search warrant without that video. I mean, I really can't see people going into somebody's house just for, you know, children are dirty. Children are dirty all the time. For some reason, they're focusing on that video. I haven't watched that video to make it clear. I don't really follow Nick. I just know he's a popular guy and this news broke and took me aback.

Without that video, I mean, I can't see any judge approving it. So the video is what, what fucked him over. I mean, I think that's another, yeah, because each thing is not probably strong enough on its own is what I'm gathering. So you need, you need that, like you said, the totality of it's like a little bit of evidence, a little bit of evidence, a little bit,

ah, this is weird, this is weird, this is weird. Yeah, probably something going on. It's a lot of trouble for TikTok. Go ahead. And even, even that video, I mean, that just shows that he may have done drugs once, you know, it doesn't mean that there's drugs in the house. So from a defense perspective, you know, I don't personally think there's probable cause to go in there even with that video. So really in my, yeah, in my opinion. I think this is it's just weird all around

What do you is that the defense for something like this? Like you got it you get the search warrant thrown out because there's no probable cause there Yeah, so that there's multiple ways to attack a warrant It's either through the probable cause aspect of it, or you know there's some technical aspect of it. That's deficient probable cause aspect of it or you know, there's some technical aspect of it that's deficient probable cause is Really hard to challenge because a judge has already said there's probable cause and so you're asking Another judge to basically shit on their friend. They're not really, you know Yeah, does it matter that that judge hated? Or he was talking all that shit?

The one who granted the warrant? The one who granted the warrant was the chick that he was... Yeah, she's like, oh fuck yeah! You get his ass. Yeah. Yeah. I mean... So judges are pretty used to that.

So that's not a legal reason for a judge to get off the case. Oh, okay. Shit! Yeah. Oh man, so that's going to be tough. That's going to be tough for Nick to get rid of. So that's going to be tough. That's going to be tough for Nick to get rid of. It's definitely going to be tough, and especially if a judge says, hey, there is probable cause, the only way to challenge that judge's ruling

is if he goes through to a trial and then appeals it, or takes some sort of deal with the provision that he can appeal that judge's ruling. So it just becomes really messy, really quick. What if, uh, what if we break in to the evidence and do all the cocaine and then there's none for trial, would that be a good defense? So yes, to, to, to say it as plainly as I possibly can. Uh, if the evidence is gone, there's no case.

So they, they gotta make sure they, they. If the evidence is gone, there's no case. So they got to make sure they preserve it. So the children have to disappear? Yeah, the children gotta go. Yeah. We need Yairo with the ice powers. Yeah. Yeah. To go in there and set the coke free. Wow. That sucks. That's bad news. Poor Nick. Do you think what do you think about the small townness of it? That's because you're in a town about the same size. That's what county is like

50,000 right? Yeah. Yeah. That's working against them. For sure. This does not get approved in a big city. This one. Yeah. Sure. Because honestly, who cares if somebody did drugs once on camera. Yeah. You know, that happens all the time. Yeah. To me, it kind of reeks of small town politics. Yeah, man, the... It makes a lot of sense.

I mean... Like the affidavit that everybody supplied with this person, it was full of like, the Roketas fired their nanny, and then the nanny went to work for a new couple at the church, and that couple came forward saying that they were worried about what was going on at the Roketas' house.

Because the nanny was telling stories. Because the nanny was telling stories. It's like, does anybody keep their mouth shut in this? Was that not like a, is that not something that happens here? Well, churches are the most gossipy places on earth. God, they're so bad. Yeah, like really shamefully bad. Who God, they're so bad. Yeah. Really shamefully bad.

Everybody wants to know, yeah, who's sinning more than them? Yeah. So they'll feel better. Yes. Yeah. There's a lot of that. Yeah, I'm scrolling through it right now. The preschool director advised the pastor

that the younger children have advised her. The children were advising her. Yeah. That they are hungry and not being fed, that the younger children have advised her, the children were advising her, that they are hungry and not being fed and also made a comment about the clothing. They wanted new clothing. One anonymous party advised that they do not believe the children are being homeschooled

while the older boys do not attend school at the Christian school. Why was that in there? I have no idea. Yeah, all information. Yeah, go ahead. I was just gonna make the point that to me, there must've been something that either through gossip

or through something else that got that detective to want to sit through and watch hours of somebody's content. Because I just don't see a police guy taking time out of their day when they're supposed to be catching criminals to watch YouTube, you know? It's never came to streams.

He's a cop of the town, I would guess, right? We're talking, okay, so, but the county, so I mean, how big is the town? If he's a town cop, maybe he doesn't have a whole lot of shit to do. Maybe it's 400 people, I don't know. I don't know where he lives. An anonymous person advised the pastor

that they observed Nick being lethargic and appeared to be high or drugged driving a car around. Married five kids, next. It sounds, you know in fear and loathing in Las Vegas when they go to that cop training thing. And that guy's up there explaining weed to everybody. Just seems like that. And then he's constantly jacking off.

His pants are encrusted with semen. Jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. Another anonymous person advised that Nick will walk out randomly during sermons. Is that in a fucking legal document? He's in his forties, maybe his prostate. His prostate's fucked from all the cocaine! Uh, anonymous individuals have advised that they have seen what was being described as an injection or track marks on Nick's arm. It's kind of fucking easy to identify.

Yeah, I mean, you know, people see kind of what- They're attached to a guy sleeping on the street. Yeah, you gotta, you know, yeah, you're gonna see, who knows, he could have carried something fucking heavy with metal. He could have been fucking his wife and got bruises all over his arms. I've marked up, you know, who knows?

He's got young boys. Yeah, right. You know, he lives have been fucking his wife and got bruises all over his arms. I've marked up, or, you know, who knows, you could be a million things. He's got young boys. You know, he lives on a fucking farm. Track marks... You often see what you want to see, too. Yeah, it's all, it looks like. Yeah, if they think he's doing drugs, then of course it's a track mark. It can't be anything else.

It's crazy how many stories we have to drill into people's heads as children, that mass hysteria exists, that people will always vilify others when they feel like it, they'll all make shit up. We read at least one major story about this every year as kids, right? We learn about Salem witch trials. Oh yeah, everybody thought they were witches.

Obviously witches aren't real, so everyone's just making shit up. Scarletter, everybody fucking hated that bitch. And then the second you stop hearing those stories, when you get out in the real world, it's okay, game on. We're doing all that stuff, right? Yeah, because we're fucking superstitious fucking monkeys running around like, yeah. running around like, yeah. Yeah. Anonymous individuals have advised, oh yeah, track marks. They believe the M-Holts are possibly assisting

with some type of drug use with Nick and his wife. Nick's blogging and views or subscribers are down, possibly resulting in financial issues. Oh, so there's like his stress, you know, he's turned to the bottle and the, and the, and the. Is this, do you see this? He's turned to the bottle and the and the the needle in the spoon Fucking search warrant affidavit

Is YouTube subscribers are down is that so that's what it says look at no no I see it I see it yeah cops did this and I'm fucking dumb for not believing the cops. That's okay Yeah, anonymous individuals advise the pastor that they believe the M-Holts, that's the other couple they were allegedly swinging with, are possibly assisting with some type of drug use with Nick and his wife, because Nick's blogging and views and or subscribers are down, possibly resulting in financial issues. That's really just, that's really grasping at straws. it? Well, you know, I mean, I don't know man

You know suckers just getting it. Hey everybody you got some shit to say about Nick Well, let's go to cops before I get posse together I came over here You know and like if I go out and I like, you know, like fucking you know decide to kill somebody which is 50 50 maybe today. Yeah, it's like I you know He could have had a fight with this girlfriend before so like you could say anything that could be strippers Are down yeah An anonymous person also advised the pastor man this pastor is is really betraying God He's a busy saving up gossip and gossip like like this shit turning it over on your

This is a real wolf wolf and sheep's clothing here. Well, you know, Jesus. I mean, I got a, whew. I got some spicy gals for ya. Yeah, really. I thought Lindsey Graham was bad, an anonymous person who advised the pastor that at one point, Nick and his wife left with the M-holds

to go to a casino, leaving the children alone, putting the oldest son... Dead of iniquity. Ha ha ha ha ha! They can't play some blackjack at home? Blackjack and hookers! Maybe not blackjack. Uh, putting the oldest son,

who was born in 2007 in charge. Yeah. Sixteen. I used to watch... One thing about the... Go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, I used to watch my younger brothers and sisters when I was younger than that. Like ten. I don't know.

Probably closer to ten than sixteen. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's fucking normal. Ten year old kids can do anything. What were you going to say? You know how to call 911. Yeah.

So one thing I was going to say about the anonymous person line, it's unclear to me if it's the same anonymous person, if they're different anonymous people every time they list it. And you know, if I'm attacking this thing, it's very different if it's just one person just talking shit versus, you know, the whole town saying, Hey, there's a problem here. What's the difference? I just have a lot of problems with, with how this officer's is writing this up. The difference being, you know, to weigh, you know, a lot of problems with with how this officers is writing this up the difference being you know To weigh, you know a bunch of people saying something's going on. It has technically more weight than if it's just one guy It's coming from multiple sources. The judge is considering multiple angles. I see So if you know just to be more clear

I think the detective really needs to specify, you know If it's if it's just one person, the same anonymous guy, or if the whole town is talking about this. Putting the oldest son who's born and who's 16 in charge, the pastor was unsure if that was suitable or not. Yeah. That's no wonder he went to the cops. Right.

You know, this family left their kids, they're from six to 16, they left them home, alone, allegedly. This cocksucker doesn't know if that actually happened, by the way. Well, he also doesn't know what kind of kid the 16 year old is. How would he be in a position to judge the, how well that kid could take care of the situation if they're gone for a few hours or something.

God, this is white people shit, man. You tell a Mexican pastor, a padre, they left their five kids home with their 16-year-old. I'll tell my wife to bring ours over. Yeah, he's running a daycare? Bueno, bueno. Let's go to the casino. Okay, is there anything else you had on here that anything that popped out to you Connor, it's kind of like a mouthful

Yeah, I mean I just want to make the point that you know, I come from a small town I practice in a small town similar to where Nick's from. And even in my experience, I've never seen anything quite like this one. So I just kind of want to just drive that home that there is something going on either- Doesn't it seem like that? Something's going on. That pastor's got an ax to grind here.

I think it's just, it's reeks of footloose to me. It does. It's some pressure on the police coming from either the church members or from you know Some other outside source, but that's kind of where this all kicks off for me. It's a small-town Politics makes some sense. Yeah Yeah in a big city, this is not even a conversation Yeah This is not even a conversation.

Yeah. Don't waste our time on that. They went to Casino where they go, Yamava, Pachanga? What are you talking about? What kind of cases have you, like, what's the biggest, craziest case that you've defended? Can you say anything like that? I can't comment on current cases, but, you know, I've done, you know, low level drug possession to murder cases. I've handled pretty much everything.

Yeah. Murder. Whoo. Yeah. I don handled pretty much everything. Murder. Yeah. I don't know how you guys do that. Gets easier. Gets easier. Every time you do it. Like, I would imagine you kind of have to take...

Are you allowed to know if they did, like do you get the sense of if they did it or not? Oh yeah. Yeah. But everyone's entitled to a defense is kind of the line you've got to take in your head, right? Yeah. I mean, you're entitled to a defense. I'm going to defend you within the law as best I can

and let the chips fall where they may, I suppose. Yeah. Right, you got to make the state prove what they need to prove. And that's kind of what you got to tell yourself. Yeah. Yeah. What do you say? I guess if you lose a murder, like what's the what's the response that you give to the guy if you were to lose one? Do you have like it written in

your head in advance just in case like a moon landing gone bad? I mean, there's the canned response you got to give them. So you have to advise them about their rights to appeal and you know, the time limits for doing that. You talk give them, so you have to advise them about their rights to appeal, and the time limits for doing that. You talk to them about how they can get all that set up. And so you get all the legal stuff out of the way, but most of it, like, you know, I've had somebody get a life sentence before, and all you can really do is just say sorry.

Sorry that happened. What else can you say? What else can you say? As soon as a sentence comes down, you just gotta turn and smack him and go, you shouldn't have fucking killed her. Yeah. Well, maybe that's not good. Bummer.

That's why I'm not a lawyer. Yeah, thanks for calling in. I hope, what do you, you got any predictions for this, for this Nick thing? I think he pleased to some sort of probation deal and gets in trouble with his bar. But that's about all that comes out of this. Oh, you think he's going to get in trouble with the bar? Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Is there like a conduct clause in a, you know, ethics? Are lawyers not allowed to break the law? That way? I mean, that way. Money, I know they're not allowed to do money shit, but like other laws aren't allowed to break You're not to behave in anything that kind of you know disparage is the profession And I mean there's ethical rules that you know lay it all out But you know if you're out getting DW eyes all the time they're gonna get you in trouble for it Yeah, and they're gonna give you a slap on the wrist

I'm a hockey team. I've no fucking George as a client Landau survived all that shit? He's a dad. Oh, he's a dad? Yeah, sure. Yeah, who knows? I don't know. Well, I hope he comes back to streaming again. It's a fate worse than death taking him on as a client.

Landau? I imagine that should be a way for him to get his subscriber numbers up as if he does come back to screaming. So oh yeah, that's true. Yeah. He's moving to a daytime show. That nighttime show, man.

That was a big problem for him because he's doing his nighttime is already two hours ahead. Yeah. He's streaming for, you know, Pacific Coast night times like, man, you're you're gonna know something's gonna happen. Something's got to blow here. Sure. You got to you got to give up that church, man, you're gonna, something's gonna happen. Something's gotta blow here. Sure. You gotta give up that church, man. You hitting it too hard.

Once a week? Oof. No, it's gonna be a big problem for you. Maybe once a month, church. Don't ask anybody's name. Pastor looks at you, head down. I don't wanna fucking, I don't want you to fucking be able to identify me in a lineup, bro.

Sunglasses at all times. Sunglasses at all times. When you're feeling good when you're not feeling good. That Nick guy, you have any you know eye problems? He ever look hung over and I just look cool as fuck rocking Ray-Bans every single mass. Yep. Mmm we'll get you next time. All right thank you for calling him in. Anytime. Yeah. Thanks. See ya. Bye. in anytime yeah thanks see ya cool that's cool are we that was satisfied with I was just I'd like I like going through that I thought that was cool boom B move says a woman alert my wife was talking to a coworker. One alert. Stupid fucking Trump. My wife was talking to a coworker.

Yeah. About how she has to pull her car forward at this one stoplight for the sensor to see her car. So that the light will change. You know, this happened to you, right? Yeah. You gotta pull your car forward so the light will change?

Light doesn't fucking, yeah, okay. Sensor sees it? Sure. And the female co-worker says, oh my gosh, the same thing happened to me. At a stop sign. The people just aren't looking at those cameras sometimes. Oh my fucking God. Hahaha!

That's amazing. My wife looked at her confused and the girl goes on to explain how she thinks there's people all over the country watching surveillance cameras of traffic lights to physically change the color of the lights. Well, I mean, that's true, except they're not watching traffic lights. They're watching you and me Sometimes so she's at every light she's ever been at and wake up Come on man, I got I got somewhere to be yeah, what the fuck are you doing up there talking on the phone Yolanda?

What a fucking idiot. That's hilarious. I want her to play the war game. Let me get another one here. This is, uh, hey Dick, check out this Mountain Dew Mom of the year. What is this one? This might be a fat watch as well. Footage shows Tamara Banks in court shortly before being sentenced to nine to thirteen and a half years in prison for killing her four-year-old daughter by feeding her a diet of Mountain Dew.

Not a diet Mountain Dew, that's not worded very... A diet of Mountain Dew? A diet of Mountain Dew. That's fucking terrible. She's found guilty of involuntary manslaughter over the neglectful death of her. You see how that's less years than what Nick is facing for an ounce of cocaine? Carmody died in the hospital. The daughter died in the hospital after suffering complications from diabetes. Okay? I hate that shit.

Well, she's gonna be locked up for quite a while. You think she's gonna lose any weight in prison? Look at the size of this beast. Ooh boy. Jesus Christ. That is one of the most depressing ones we've ever done. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Man, Vinny does the creep off with shit that's 10 times more depressing than this and just rolls right off his back.

Yeah, well. No reaction at all. Man, you're... Well, yeah, yeah, I guess- Four is enough for me. I suppose you can get used to anything. Gentleman Sausage says it's gonna be hilarious when in 2029 when Maddox insists on releasing the Nick is a Degenerate Cokehead video long after he's already turned everything around and his kids are in college. Pinkfong Cash.

415 says the dude at the end of the episode is a literal retard. And clearly has no idea how the system works. Hashtag free Nick. End of the what? I think Scar did know what he was talking about though. Wait, who? Not everything. Scar who called in at the end of last episode. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Said a bunch of stuff about, you know, a lot of it was good I think. Yeah. Not always accurate but. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Said a bunch of stuff about, you know, a lot of it was good, I think. Yeah. I'm always accurate, but. Woman alert. Here's another one from John. Woman alert. Pretty important alert that we're doing.

Josh sent this in. British police are weak. Oh no, we've got another women. Oh man, did you see the German cop? There was a there was a Muslim who was Having a celebratory stabbing incident. Oh, no for some reason. I don't know why Okay, a guy guy was going nuts got radicalized They're like pitbulls man. They could just just snap at any moment. Gotcha. You know?

Okay. Snapped and he was going around stabbing people. Yeah. Guy comes out of nowhere. In Germany. German guy, German guy comes out of nowhere, tackles him, tries to stop him. Cop comes over, tackles the good Samaritan.

And then the Muslim guy stabs the cop in the back of the head. Does he kill him? Dead. Yeah. Wow. Cause the cop tackled it kill him? Dead. Yeah. Wow. Because the cop tackled the good Samaritan.

Sometimes being non-racist will cost you your life. Not trying to help, like piling on. Like, you know, you gotta hold that. You know, you keep throwing people on a crocodile. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You think he was trying to stop them. I don't know. I haven't seen it. I gotta watch. I could look for that after this. And then I know there's more collars in there. Let, yeah. You think he was trying to stop? I don't know. I haven't seen it. I got to watch. I could look for that after this.

And then I got I know there's more collars in there. Let me see. I know. OK. Shamu in there. Yeah, we have an update on Ralph's defamation case. Remember that one? No, not really. Ralph is getting sued by his baby mom and daddy. Yes, yes, yes, yes. For defamation. Right. And the guy was like, I'll drop the suit if you give me your child. I want your little, I want your boy.

I want your son. Does he have custody of the- Ralph has parental rights. They want Ralph to sign away his parental rights. So, but does he have any, what is he doing right now? Like visitation or, I mean, I know he has rights as the- Yeah, he has visitation rights.

Got it, okay. I mean, I don't know, like, seems and outs of it. You're sure, but they want him to sign away all claim to- Sign it over. Yeah. Yeah, he has visitation rights. I mean, I don't know, like, the ins and outs of it. You're sure, but they want him to sign away all claim to... Yeah. So someone else can adopt him. I don't really know the full story. Maybe Shanu knows though. So he's got a billy club. Those weren't very powerful swings, man.

I don't know, that guy's probably on PCP. I don't know, what the... And then, so this poor cop is called for backup. And these two women show up. And they're just kind of like... Walking. After him. What a fucking nightmare that must be, right?

Hey, I got a guy high on PCP. I'm trying to billy club him. Right. What a fucking nightmare that must be, right? Hey, I got a guy high on PCP. I'm trying to belly club him to submission. Can you send over some backup? Bro, absolutely. We're going to send over our two bossist girl bosses. If you're having to do that, wouldn't you fucking, do they not carry tasers at this? I don't know.

They had to get rid of tasers because the women kept blowing guys' heads off with their guns, reaching for the taser. For fuck's sake, huh? So the guy, the male cop is trying to seduce him and the women are just kind of moseying. Oh no, now they have their belly clubs out. Those are not powerful str- yeah. On the calves.

I don't know what the guy's on, but yeah, yeah. That was like a spanking. Did you see that one? It was just very like- That was like a silly spank. Yeah. What was that? Oof, oof, oh, oof. Hit him in the fucking kidneys or liver, you fucking assholes.

What is she doing? You're gonna hit him, hit him. She's pawing at him. I don't know. This is a workers comp nightmare waiting to happen What the fuck is this? Oh now she's breaking down a fence. She probably won't even repair that. This guy's laughing Just shoot him Just shoot him. He's just walking. He just kept walking to a liquor store. They just follow him in like a... He's just walking. Yeah, exactly. He stops, waits in line. Waiting in line. Yeah, yeah, there's gaps in him. Can you change it 20? Because she doesn't want to help with that yeah, I want to help with that

Collect her phone right right oh god totally. Why is she going after this lady? She's trying to take her phone. Yeah, I- I- looks like- God, they always fucking do that. Yeah, well, cause they don't- yeah, they don't want that shit. Fucking cocksuckers. Yeah, that- I think it happened as I described it with that migrant... Yeah, no, I believe it. I mean, it's... It's pretty good.

D'oh. German... Stabbing. Germany's trying to get the video down too. Really? Yeah, the Islamic knife attackers shot by police after stabbing Spree. Somebody finally got some sense and put an end to them. Somebody finally, yeah.

They brought a... they got a blindfolded guy. after stabbing Spree. Somebody finally got some sense and put an end to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They brought a, they got a blindfolded guy. Oh, that guy didn't, at least one police officer, serious injury. So the guy didn't, didn't kill the cop, right? No, he did, he died. He died today. Oh, I thought I said multiple,

stabbing Spree on it, it just says multiple days ago. This was multiple days ago. This was May 31st, he died today. Oh! That cop died today from being stabbed. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, see, look, they're deleting it everywhere. Gotcha. They have a guy, they have, they're deleting it everywhere. Gotcha.

They have a guy, they have a blind cop in Germany, and also deaf. So he can't tell what anyone's race is. And if they have any migrant doing crime, they bring him in, and he just starts shooting. OK, now, hold on. Very good. Very good. They hope, you know?

They hope that the migrant will know not to duck. Right. Right. Right. It's a really, it's a beautiful country. Awesome. Let's see here. Yeah, here he goes. So there's the, okay, this is the knifer.

And this is, I think, the good Samaritan. Now you can tell that he's the bad guy because he's wildly swinging a knife. Yeah, like a psycho. Yeah, like a psycho. He's like a psycho. Right. And all these people are dressed up like they're supposed to be there setting up for like a World Peace Summit or something. So he's really going to town with a knife.

That guy pulls him off. Thank God. And then the cop comes in and takes down the guy. Stupid. And that'll get... that's the game. That's the ball game. There's the career ender to the back of the head. No?

Jesus Christ. Should have been paying attention. Okay, let me get Shannon over here. That's very poor situational awareness. Yeah. Like that's, yeah, you know. Get the guy with the knife. Yeah.

That guy's the, that guy's got issues. All right, Shamu, are you, are you there? Are you there? Yeah, I hear him. Are you there? I hear something. Hello? Hello! Hey, are you there? Yeah, I hear him. Are you there? I hear something. Hello? Hello?

Hey, what's up? How you doing, man? I'm doing good. Welcome to the show. Okay, so what's going on with Ralph's baby mama lawsuit? The defamation suit. Yeah, so the defamation suit just recently, like, well, first off, let me like build up to like kind of what he did a little bit with that. the defamation suit just recently like

Well, first off, let me like build up to like kind of what he did a little bit with that So he tried to like email Ralph and coerce him by signing away all his rights to his son And then and then also the other only other thing he asked for was his diamond ring, which is fucking deranged He didn't ask for like money or anything else diamond ring, which is fucking deranged. He didn't ask for like money or anything else. He tried to like blackmail him into like giving him his fucking diamond ring and then signing away the rights. Well. But the dad's all fucked up isn't he?

And your diamond ring. Yeah. The dad of this poor girl is so fucking deranged man. He's a psycho dude. He's like man. He's a psycho, dude. He's like the, he's like a- He's a total psycho. He's a real indicator of what Gen X is gonna be as they become like old and senile

and as warped as the baby boomers. Ralph knocked up his daughter and he decided to launch a streaming career over it. So he's like, he's constantly streaming about Ralph. And he paid people to go find Ralph in Portugal and beat him up on the street and record it. Like a small time mob boss guy stuff. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So not only that, like he, the guy that went to go that assaulted Ralph, like in the streets, he was paying that went to go that assaulted Ralph in the streets, he was paying that guy to make the trip. He was crowdfunding it with him to pay the guy. And then here's another thing with him.

So after the assault happened, there were a few people, some of my friends that did live streams or whatever saying, hey, maybe this seems a little bit crazy. Maybe this guy is like a psycho or something like that. So Matthew Vickers sent him a DM on Twitter where he sent him a picture of the guy that said that and his family members, two of his children, and then said, hey, if you don't, if you know, sometimes people get hurt when they get involved in this stuff. So you might want to

like stop doing what you're doing. He sent that to who? Just a random guy who was criticizing what he's doing? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. So literally he's like trying to be like a mob boss. It's fucking insane. That's the shit Maddox used to do.

Oh yeah, here's a picture of your own kids from your Facebook. Yeah. It'd be a real shame if someone were to call CPS on them. Yeah, right? Yeah, right? And, okay, and then, and then- Don't fuck with the wrong guy on these days.

Well, the right guy was Ralph, the wrong guy was Ralph. Now he's bankrupt, right? Yeah, for sure. Vickers had to declare, he's like 500,000 in the hole. He has a- Foreclosure, he's got a fake divorce now, like that he's gotta do for bill reasons. Yeah. Yeah. in the hole. He's got a fake divorce now that he's got to do for bill reasons. Yeah, to hide assets.

And you mentioned that he tried to get a career off of this stuff, right? So even back when his daughter was still with Ralph, she actually wrote down in a message or whatever that she thought that her father was going to try to make a career out of this before they even were broken up. So she knew what he was going to do, which is fucking insane. What kind of guy tries to build a career

and sell merch off of just some dude that fucked your daughter? How fucking insane is that I guess Chris Jenner did that Does anybody else try to make a career off of their kids sex tape? I don't know. I can't think and the stuff that he would do. That's a good one. That's a good one Yeah, Chris Jenner did that he's she's probably the only one Vickers doesn't have quite the same panache as her. Okay, what were you saying? I was just going to say, like, and they were fucking with him in like so many different ways. Like one of the ways that was like really dark was Vickers would send out like mentally

ill people that hated Ralph to his daughter's house in his house. And they would like go to Disneyland and all this stuff. And they would make tweets like with his son and talk about like what they did at weekend. Like sick shit. Yeah. Yeah. So Ralph doesn't want to turn over his parental rights to this guy. Is that basically the problem? Yeah, he doesn't want to do that.

He wanted the ring too. He wanted Ralph's dad's. Ralph's dad died and left him a diamond ring, you know? Sent the sentimental family heirloom. It was 500k in the hole, right? That's why he wanted it. But he didn't ask for money. He wanted the ring because this, you got to remember,

this guy is like streaming all the time, right? And he's like bought into like everything that's going on online. And so it's a bit, it's a bit for Ralph to talk about the ring. I got this ring, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. a bit, it's a bit for Ralph to talk about the ring. Oh, I got this ring, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. You know, it's like a bit that he does. And so that was the one thing he wanted.

You know, he wanted to take that from him. It's fucking bizarre. Is Vickers gone now? I saw he missed court. He was going to sue him for defamation because Ralph called him a pedophile or something like that. And he was going to sue him for-

Well, it wasn't only Ralph. He was going to sue Ethan Ralph and 50 anonymous users like online. Just like that. We're fucking talking shit on Twitter, you know, and so he didn't get the ring or any of this stuff. So he's like, okay, I'm suing you for defamation. The guy court date comes around and fucking Vickers doesn't even show up. He like misses the whole thing.

And then his side has to like ask the judge to just miss the case entirely just to avoid like court costs and further shit that's going to hurt him from his bankrupted family at this point. Ralph should hit him back with an anti-slap suit. That's California, man. You get nine times attorney's fees or something like that. You get one to nine times attorney's fees or something like that. You get one to nine Times attorneys, California doesn't like that fake defamation shit to silence, you know speech Kind of a kind of important to kind of important to the people here that run the show

That they're allowed to say whatever they want. That would be a good time for sure So what now is that it for Vickers? Well now I mean I don't know if that's it. I feel like he's never going to stop. I feel like once you have a guy like Vickers coming after you like they just never stop. But as far as like the court stuff I don't think there's anything like upcoming or anything like that that's dismissed. So I think now he's still got to like go he's going to go and like visit and stuff like that.

So see what happens with that. But yeah, but it's one of the most deranged feuds. I mean, Vickers, I mean, he doesn't have any, he has no money. Yeah. He's a fuck, he's a joke. Yeah. He has no more legal recourse.

And he ain't got no ring. He's got no ring. Is Ralph going to wear the ring to the visitation? I'm sure he will. He probably will though. I think he wears that thing everywhere. That's awesome. See how much can change in a couple years? Yeah.

You got Ralph. Ralph won now! That defamation shit was hanging over his head for like like two years Yeah, and uh because he tried to sue like 50 anonymous users Like they obviously like people don't like that kind of shit when you come after people that are anonymous online so they started to like dig into Vickers and all this stuff and they found a So they started to dig into Vickers and all this stuff. One of his old emails, it was an LLC used to run called I Star Product. They found this sex site or whatever.

It was a swingers site. They found a swingers site from 2006 in there from him and his wife and did like 100% and and the the tagline was We're normally a very conservative couple, but we love swinging in secret. Oh, no Long as God didn't find out. Yeah The craziest thing about it is like this guy's so litigious. If you don't fuck his mutant wife, right? He's liable to sue you Man you gotta stay away from this swinging shit. Yeah. You gotta watch out for these swingers, Sean.

They're dangerous. I don't wanna get sued by a gargoyle. You get sued, they turn the cops on you. You have the whole county against you. The whole county against you. Coming after you. Who would have thought that fucking a guy's wife isn't just, you know, easy. Yeah.

Turns out that so many things could go wrong for you. Yeah, it's not for the... It's not for the faint of heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got a little planning. It'd be a little smarter than a lot of people who try it, I think. You got to be a little smarter than the people who do it. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah. They want, bury one in the yard, maybe. Right.

Have some decoy saves. I guess we're back to Maddox after all. Yeah, the mastermind. That guy, there was a guy called Patrick Melton. He runs a show called Nobody Likes Onions that was at Hackamania. He put Hackamania together, I guess, for the girls. He was a huge hate watcher fan of that guy, Aaron Emholt,

who was the part of the swinging group or whatever they were that Nick was. You said a hate watcher? Well, they just watch him and make fun of him. Sure, yeah. Because he's the kind of guy who would let his wife get fucked by another guy and stolen and then go on a publicity tour over it and cry to the cops about it. Sure. And I guess he had predicted this entire thing...

Oh, really? ...weeks ago. Oh. That this is what was happening. Something like this was happening. He didn't have it like who or what, but he said something's happening sexually with those two and somebody like he had, he had the whole thing mapped out. Um, and we didn't know.

We were just sitting in the dark, not knowing about any of this, but he had it all. Yeah. One of a steeltoast trolls, like this is, they is their they're wild and it's pretty funny Like they had a countdown you can go to the website. I think it I can't remember the tag But it's like Aaron and hold something but it's a website where they literally had a countdown for his next divorce And it was true They said it two years in advance it was true. They said it two years in advance.

It was a countdown for like two years or something. Yeah. God, what a mess. And he was, I guess it was like a running bit on Aaron Emhold's show that he couldn't make his wife come. Yeah. This is something that he would talk about like as a joke. Yeah.

Right. Right. Well, he would talk about like as a joke. Yeah, yeah. Right? Right. Well, he got pissed off at her. He got pissed off at her because they asked, he reads off every chat that he gets. So one of the chatters asked something like, how many, can you make your wife come or something like that?

And she was like, not all the time, but like every few times like a week or something like that. And he got fucking pissed about the answer and he like was really mad at her. So I think that's where that whole thing comes from. Cuckrage. Big problem. Cuckrage. Big problem.

Okay. Shamu, is there anything else with the Vickers thing? I'm happy about the ending. I hope he just stays gone. That guy's so fucking weird. For sure. I've got a story for a new video that I made that you might like.

It's about a psycho ex-girlfriend. Okay. Can you just run through that real quick? Yeah, go for it. Yeah. So it's another Vickers situation as far as somebody obsessing over someone's life and then going after them. So this girl starts dating this streamer online

and they're dating in secret for a couple months. She flies all the way out from fucking New York to California and when she shows up, she's got the guys, when she shows up, she had the guys name tattooed on her forearm, his government name. So it didn't work out. You know, she didn't look anything like that he had thought that she looked like. She was using all these filters and all this shit.

So you got like, catfished. Those fucking filters are criminal that they got. You can't trust anything anymore. No, no, no. That's what I say too. They should be fucking illegal. It's insane what they can do, what some of these women can do with filters. And so she shows up, he's nice about her or whatever, right?

So he lets her stay like a week, she's supposed to say two, and then he's like, okay, this isn't working, you know, you gotta get out of the house. She sits in his apartment for like 11 hours, just like sitting there, her bags are packed and everything's ready, but she won't leave. So then the guy comes out and confronts her, and he starts recording.

So like the recording of him trying to get this woman out of his house is like in the video. And he's like telling her, you know, you got to leave, you got to get out. And she just starts like crying and like yelling at him and all this shit. And it goes on for so long, he eventually has to call the police.

So the police have to escort this woman out of this fucking guy's apartment. And then that's when all this shit happens. For the last six months, this woman has been streaming about this guy, taking out his channels, trying to ruin his businesses, calling him a fucking pedophile, everything under the sun, commit like just doing war, doing police calls, delivering shit to his house, all that shit, doxing his house, all that shit, doxxing his moderators, calling their family,

like the worst possible shit you can do. She's been streaming. Did the girl have a beard and talk like this? Yeah, who is it? Who's the girl? I mean, she's streaming. She's streaming, yeah, her name's Men Noodles, so M-E-H Noodles, and she's still streaming.

The other thing, so all that shit happens, right? He sent her a cease and desist. They're about to go through a fucking lawsuit now. But she won't stop streaming about it. She won't stop doxxing his followers. It's incredible. She read the cease and desist out like on air and everything and they're like,

you're not allowed to say this person's name. Oh, this person, you're not allowed to say their address. And then she like names out the address, putting pictures on their wall. She's reading the cease and desist. So I think they're supposed to start going like, they're supposed to move forward with it, like here in like five days or something,

but she hasn't stopped. God, I'm looking for her, wait, YouTube's most psychotic breakup, the men, oh, this is yours. Yeah, that's the video. The men noodles and Sir Morbid X. Hey guys, remember to hit like on the video. Okay, sir morbid extra. Let me see video Okay, patreon.com slash Shamu four one one. All right, I just want to get a look. Yeah, see what this girl looks like

I see I see how this happened So I did nothing wrong it was all like me asking him, like, do you even care? Uh-huh. She's got her tits framed in this picture. If you go back to where it's like right before the dating show thing, it's like a little compilation of all the shit that's happened. And it's like just a couple minutes, but it's like right after that thing starts. It should have like, it plays a, plays Winter by Vivaldi under it.

Right here. And Manoodle's story. No! Hi, my name is and this is, she will not leave my house. Don't fucking come at me without explaining why you support this. Explain that, then question me.

And I'll give you an answer. Does your job know what you're doing on the internet? Oh, does your job know what you're doing? Be a real shame if they found out. Call her work, May. I will. And her husband too. Yeah, they must have wronged the person.

What was the point? Alex, go meet the man. I got a question for you. What was the point of dotting her kids the other day with that black beard? You came in with her kids names and their names in their tits. Kids are fucking not minors. Sorry, they're going with you, bitch.

I want you to feel what I feel. There you go. There's the cops. Me and Jim are going to siege everyone. Think of Crying will save her. Listen, anything you need, let me know. I got all the info. Fuck that piece of shit.

It's my fucking right to speak out about my experience. You brought this to the internet, right? I did. No one knew who you existed. And you were a mod in his chat. No one knew that you guys even had a relationship. And until you can't get to watch this channel... Okay, uh...

Gotta lock her up. Man, that would be... I'm just missing the shotgun blast at the end. Yeah. For a happy ending, you mean. Yeah. Yeah. This is an hour and 41 minutes.

Y'all watch this. YouTube's most psychotic breakup, the Man Noodle story, and SirMorbidX Shamu on YouTube. Cautionary tale. All of it's kind of a cautionary tale, you know? Everything that we do. I'm hoping if somebody's watching and says, I'm not gonna do any of that, actually.

No, yeah. Women on the internet? No. No thanks. I'll go ahead and take nothing. That's fine. I'm fine with that. Yeah.

Okay. It'll cost you less. It'll cost less. Thanks Shamu. Call me again. I don't know. I'll post this on the site too. See ya.

Yeah. See ya buddy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, see buddy. Yeah Okay Forget how this suppression shit works. I don't think it does Fucking people are just getting We got, you know, we gotta have some other different kind of police to deal with some women.

You know, the lobotomy was bad, you know, but- Oh, you mean just the concept of it? The concept, you know, I don't like how it was done. Right. But maybe one of those, maybe a couple of them were okay. I mean, you know, anything's possible, right? I'm at that point, I guess. Yeah, sure.

Well, what are we gonna do here? We've got a demon here that we don't know how to- Yeah, that can't be exercised, you know, in most ways that- That guy gets a lot of shit for his invention that he brought to mankind. The John Lobotomy, I don't know what his name was. Yeah, I don't know either. Maybe not all of it is warranted.

I mean, something tells me that that kind of shit is like thousands of years old, you know, and they're poking around, you know. There was a guy that invented it in like the 50s. Well, the concept of... Oh yeah, yeah, sure, but I mean, like they were... They were definitely poking around people's brains thousands of years ago yeah he came up with idea to do it to women which was revolutionary over used hey dick this this is basically what happened to me after my mom died a vindictive aunt called CPS on my dad they bashed down my door while my ten-year-old brother and 13 year old sister were home alone.

Totally traumatic. They thought we were being robbed. All these people chiming in have no fucking clue what they're talking about. Yeah, I know. Yeah, sure. Autistic brother guy. Dermalarm says Canada's fucked.

Hey Dick, a story out of Canada that you might not be aware of just in case you wanted more reasons to hate the government. Canada has really fucked up their economy by printing even more money than the US during COVID, locking things down. They're now having dramatic economic problems. Yeah, no shit.

One of their plans to solve this problem was to import millions of Indian tech workers. Why import? That was not a- So they spent money there? They weren't trying to solve that problem. They were trying to get cheaper labor. Well, yes. They were lying when they said they were solving a problem. Yeah, why import? Yeah. So, you know what I mean? You probably use them anyway, right? These Indians all know, well, they all know tech stuff. You guys don't

know. Really? Test them. Nah, they said they did, that's fine. Yeah. So they presumably would pay taxes and float the economy. They sold this shit, this like Indian tech workers shit. They sell it to people who are either running tech companies, who are lying, or are not in tech. No, that makes perfect sense. Well, we need these Indian tech workers. No, you don't. Yeah, no, I mean, nothing makes me think

that they have some kind of, you know, genetic predisposition to like amazing coding or something. No, in fact, they're much, much worse. But they're much, much, much cheaper. Much cheaper. Right, that's more muches, right? Yeah. You get much, much, much cheaper.

They're much, much worse. That's a net gain for who's paying them. And it's even better when you look at companies like Google who are, Google would prefer that a flood of cheap and totally incompetent workers were a flooded Silicon Valley, right? We're number one, so what's the best thing we do? Well, let's make everyone super cheap

and none of them could program a fucking TI-85 calculator. Then we're on top forever. And we'll just live in a dark age of bullshit and we'll put AI on your sandwich or you'll have a chatbot on your fucking video game. No one wants this crap, but we dumped all this money into LLM, so we better do something with it. This has caused a housing crunch because in most of Canada it's illegal to build housing, for the same reason it's illegal in California. The government recently announced that they're starting a new bureaucracy to help people

afford housing with a budget of $5 billion. To fund this they have to raise the capital gains tax of 75%. Wow, I guess you shouldn't sell any stock. Totally healthy market. Spend your whole life investing in saving? Government just takes it all to give houses to people they brought in from another country to take your job.

I hate the government just as much as you do. No, you don't. All right. Good email. Good letter. Great email. Yeah, there's no saving it. Biden vetoed a thing that would let, I think it let, that let financial, big

financial companies be custodians of their own Bitcoin. Oh yeah, sure. You know, cause we don't want anybody escaping this big problem. Right. Wait, wait, wait. We need you guys, you guys, smart guys that are trying to escape. No, no, we need you, uh, to, to figure this out. Right, right.. Because we're not going to do any of it. We're way, way behind on it. We're way behind on this shit. Yep. Third houses are bought in cash. Isn't that nice?

Was it last year? 43% of houses in the US were bought by private equity firms? It's insane. It's insane. It's cash. It's insane. Easy to fix, of course. Just say that's illegal. Only, now only actually, only individuals can buy houses now. You know, like people in other countries, Chinese, buying up houses here for years. Yeah, no, actually that's illegal now.

Not having to, yeah. What? What do you mean? Well, see, cause every part of the house is controlled by the law, like where you can put the house, how big the house could be, what the house is made of, the amount you can sell it for, the amount you have to appraise it for to sell it, the person who's selling it, how much money they have to put down, how much they pay over the next 30 years. So actually we're just going to go ahead and make that last part also comply with arbitrary regulations.

Oh, well that makes total sense. Why don't we do that? Well, you know cuz fuck you. That's why okay That's a show. Let's do voicemails. What time is it 8 52? Yep dick show patreon.com slash the dick show see you next Tuesday and And now My god, it's even longer than I thought. I missed a ton of stuff this week Don't we have to do a bonus? We do have to do a bonus. Good, next week. I know it's late, but... It's already...

Tuesday. Yeah, I think... Look at all these fucking voicemails that I have. Okay, okay. Uh huh. Oh, here we go. Hey, Dick. Sean, how you doing? I'm Judge Prophet, Holy Spirit speaking through me. Nice. Biggest problem, big rage, whatever. Fat in the wild, that's what it is. I just saw

two fucking big old fat bitches, old two, like in their fucking late 50s, 60s, riding those trike motorcycles, I don't know, the ones with the two wheels in front and the one in the back. Because they're two fucking fat and old, the parents themselves. Mobility scooters. No, I think he's on the street. I was kind of thinking they might be lesbians. On the street? The ones with the two, you know those things, yeah, they're both riding. I think he means those things that are, they're like motorcycles,

but they're two wheels in the front, one motorcycle tire in the back. Oh, really? That's what it sounded like to me. He said two in the front, one in the back. Do. Oh, really? That's what it sounded like to me. Oh. He said two in the front, one in the back. So you think it's a vehicle on the road? I do, yeah. It's those things that are like motorcycles

for people who don't want to ride a motorcycle. Okay, oh yeah, oh yeah. Does that kind of make sense? But, you know, I'm just profiling at that point and that's just wrong. Any hoodles, smooches for Sean, love you. Uh. You got to tag, the old ones are hard to find. You should, you know, tag them. Oh yeah.

Fat old people. Well, they're like the, the, the, the, the Tuskers. What is that? They are, they're elephants, African elephants where whose tusks are so long. They, they practically, they reach the ground. Dragon to ground? Yeah, because they've all been poached for their,

there's very, you know, few of them. So it's, yeah, you find it, it's kind of getting to be a rare sighting. Tuskers. You see a tusker, yeah. Yeah, we gotta get, it's hard to tell how old they are because they're all like, you know, saggy.

They get that big, but it gotta be, they're younger than you think right? Yeah You know what's the biggest problem in the fucking universe is fucking pin nails You know you think they're great for I don't want to put a big nail in something just you know slap some glue Yeah, these motherfuckers I just shot an 18 gauge pin nail about now I'll half an inch no no quarter inch into my finger no smart I thought you know these long pin nails but fuck it this thing just

fucking snakes through the wood like they always do because they're so fucking thin and fucking stuck me in the fingers. Yeah, I think 18 gauge so small but man these things suck. Yeah. So fuck yourself. And Vito you're very fat. Kill yourself. Right, that's the wrong show.

Christ. You think he started drinking before or after the nail incident? I mean, I don't know. He's obviously drunk on the call. Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know. The guy shot his fucking nail into his finger. He's had better moments, you know. That's true.

Um, okay. How about, uh, how about this one? Yo, circumcision just got to that part. Yeah, in my case, I had it done when I was in fourth grade and I begged my parents not to do it, but they're like, yeah, you basically have to do it because like basically God's going to punish you if you don't get it done. So you have to do it no matter what. And then, so now whenever I'm going to do something that's not guilty about it, I just

think it's just worse or better than forcing a child who is begging not to get mutilated to get mutilated? And then I just go from there. All right, see ya. Wow. Man, if there's one thing to hold over your parents' heads, right? Yeah, right.

Oh yeah, I remember when you circumcised me when I was eight. I mean, you circumcised me when I was yeah eight I mean, you're basically I begged you not to yeah You're basically a terrorist Yeah, yeah, even Hamas would go like oh man. No, dude. Yeah, I mean you come on. Don't do it to a boy Jesus. Yeah Circumcising your kid. All right with the boy. Oh What the hell? What the hell's wrong with you?

You belong over there. On a wall. Over the wall. Uh... Over the wall. Ssssss. Okay. Hey Nick, hey Sean. You know what makes you rage?

What? Like rage, but whatever. Fucking these stupid fucking broads on Etsy. Is this the pin-nail guy? I don't think so. Fucking going great. Fucking yeah. Selling these way overpriced stupid foam masks for the top.

For like 130 something with shipping. It doesn't matter. to yourself for like 130 something with shipping and probably 500, it doesn't matter. But the only women who ask me this question before ordering, does it come with the Yeti cooler or is it just the mat? Bitch, do you think I'm fucking selling a $400 cooler for a, plus this custom ship for 100 hundred are you fucking up but yeah you hear

what he's saying yeah cooler too or just the man yeah uh i don't know who the hell was this guy calling in at the end of the last show with the worst legal takes and like worst opinions on anything i've ever heard in my life. Don't worry, they have no evidence of the cocaine other than the 25 grams of cocaine on the police report that we've been talking about for a two hour episode already. Don't worry. No proof of it. Also, don't worry.

You've got to hear this. Usually, they don't try to make examples out of lawyers in small towns having threesomes with large amounts of drugs. Yeah, usually they don't try to make examples out of guys like that. They try to usually make examples out of guys on skid row. Like, are you fucking serious? It's not as dire as 25 years for Nick. It's not. No. But years for Nick. It's not.

No. But it is serious. They can do whatever they want. He could have to do some defending of himself and like I think Sean might have said during the episode, we don't know how bad this got that quickly. Like, yes, someone from the church is probably just plotting to get him, but I saw something online, and I'm sure someone in the Discord sent it around, that someone from the church,

the actual complaint was that the kids clothes weren't changed, which no, isn't like a real complaint, but depending on how serious this is, Nick could be seriously fucked. It's not just six months if things don't go well. Go fuck yourself, Dick. Love you, Sean. It is. Thank you. People are really eager to write it off. Like, I'll give probation. Like, man. No, I mean, there's no guarantees. Like, there's no, there's no guarantees.

What if they just don't like him? You know? Have people been railroaded before? Yeah, sure. Sure they have. Like there's no guarantees. There's no guarantees. What if they just don't like him? You know? Have people been railroaded before? Yeah, sure. Sure they have. Uh, yeah. Okay, how about...

Let's go with, uh, too much fun. What could that be about? Too much fun, guys. Nick Krakata has been arrested for having too much fun. This is just a message for all you young dickheads out there. We've learned it from Nick and we learned it from PTA Kyle. If you have drugs and you have guns, they can stack all those charges up

and threaten to put you in prison for a good long time. Just so you know. That's it guys. Nick was having too much fun. Sean, I love you. Take care, fuck yourself. Oh, there's no Vimeo. The Vimeo stream fucked up. What, this?

Yeah, did it? Did this one work? Yeah, that one works. I'll upload it to Vimeo later. Alright. Thankfully, rumble doesn't work, so, you know, nobody got to see it. For fuck's sake. Fucking Rumble, man. Every week that jackass CEO is out.

You know, what we need to do is we need freedom bread, you know? So everyone could eat bread no matter what their politics like man Just make this work All you have to do is make this work unless you're running some kind of like pre-election scam and you just don't care after Yeah, Trump loses or whatever. Are you yeah, are you writing? She's like fucking doing he's like a sold it So I make it work. Yeah, you didn't make the first thing work Spinoff. Yeah, and then I and then then I see him hobnobbing with E-celebrities and crying.

Just his energy is so beta when he talks to them. For a guy who's running a half a billion dollar company, man, everything about him annoys me. The fact that the website's always crashing and fucking up. Well, I know. This is the most consistent thing. That was actually fucking up. Well, I know that's it. This is this is the I've never used it. It's the most consistent thing I hear. Yeah fucking thing

Maybe Slimey I know why you hate cyber trucks episode they reveal the board guy You're a slimy, handsome piece of shit. What'd I do? Now I know why you hate Cybertrucks. Last episode, they revealed that you're a Ford guy. Oh. Fix it again, Tony. That kind of guy. Fix it again, Tony? That's fiat, dipshit.

Fix or repair daily is the fucking Ford. Oh boy. Hoisted by his own retard. Take back what you said about the cyber trucks, you asshole. Take it back right now, Sean. I wanna hear you. We all wanna hear you say it. Say you love Elon Musk, you love Tesla,

you love the cyber trucks. By the way, get on PKA. Come on, PKA. That is the stupidest looking vehicle I have fucking seen, maybe ever. I can't, every time I see one, and I see them regularly now, I cannot believe that somebody's driving that fucking thing.

You look so dumb. It's so dumb. You gotta put it in car wash mode to wash it. I mean, I don't wash my car, but yeah, you short it out if you wash it without putting it in car wash mode to wash it. I mean I don't really car but yeah I just you short it out if you wash it without I just every time I look at it I go fucking George made that Honestly what I think good. Yeah, and He can do better. He has done better. You see the guy that tried to close it on his finger

No, and well, I wouldn't do it. Well, it's supposed to like not... It shuts the trunk automatically. Yeah. Oh man. But there's supposed to be... It's like if your finger's there, it's supposed to know. It doesn't, right? Yeah. So, he put his arm in.

Yeah. And it didn't shut. It goes bop and bounces off, right? Yep. So then he puts his... He puts his... He goes in a series, right? He puts his thing in.

He puts his arm in and goes like... You know, it didn't shut. Right. And then he puts his fucking finger in, and like, not even at the, like, if you're, if you have a trunk, right, that closes, where's the last place you would put your finger if you're testing it to place?

Like, wedge it in near the hinge, right? I would put it way the fuck out, the farthest away from the hinge part, because that's where the power's coming from, right? Like, I'm putting it way the fuck out the farthest away from the hinge part. Because that's where the power is coming from, right? Like, I'm putting it way over here, right? And I'm putting in a bad, I'm putting in my pinky. I'm not putting in my fucking index finger. Well, he had a lot of faith.

Get you in trouble. So he puts it in and it starts like going Like, it starts cutting his finger off. And he's freaking out. He's freaking out and he has to pull it out eventually. I think it gives up enough so he pulls it out, but it does not work Right it can hurt you. He's shaking and freaking out and like oh that was bad. You know it really hurts ow Take me to the gay hospital, you know So then the Tesla engineers go oh, yeah

Well, the reason it did that is because the's programmed to, if it gets bounced off, to use more pressure. Because it thinks that something's blocking it, so it's trying to squish it down. Right, like an arm or a finger, yeah. Like when you're shutting the trunk and it won't shut, so you go this fucking thing and try to cram it. So it's gonna get mad for you and shut it harder.

Yeah, so it shuts it harder. Which is exactly the opposite of what that whole safety feature is. Door, awesome. Garage door engineers come in and go, Hey, that's really stupid. Right. If you're, you should always just bounce off.

Oh, yeah. Never try to keep like, we anticipate the wishes of the, Yeah, you know. Assume it's a finger. Right. Or a person, like, and then the guy goes through this. I can't believe that's a thing. I can't believe that's actually done like that. They're, they don't give a fuck. They're just like, and then the guy goes through this. I can't believe that's a thing. I can't believe that's actually done like that.

They don't give a fuck. They're over-engineering fucking everything, obviously. Look at it. They're the Dyson of fucking cars. Yeah. The guy goes through this history of the garage door and how many people used to get killed in garage door engineers. Yeah, so we did this, and then we did this.

Used to kill kids. All of this, you guys need to do for your self-shutting thing so that this doesn't happen. Right. The whole race of fucking four-fingered fucking people walking around one day. Look at this. Hey everybody, look at this. Yeah. Man, don't do that.

Even I'm watching, like, don't do this. What the fuck's wrong with you fix it again, Tony Your Ford guy, huh? Fix it again. That was awesome. Sean. That was awesome All right last one Dexter the love of God do not put on that medallion Is this terrible evil? Cursed Tulpa and it's gonna completely ruin your life and everybody else's life I will put on the medallion! And then the two medallion is this terrible, evil, cursed tulpa

and it's going to completely ruin your life and everybody else's life. Like Sean, he's probably going to become like an alcoholic again. Oh no! And Aids will just become some crack whore out on the street. Oh no! Hey, wait a minute, what's the downside for me? Vito, well, I mean his life is already garbage. So maybe that's kind of a lot. He's going to get AIDS and slim down. Fat, unfunny, you know, F-sler.

So I mean maybe if you were just thinking about it, thinking about putting it on, maybe that was just residual effects there. But I swear to God, if you become some, you know, super conservative, traditional Republic church going to... Church? I don't even know where to find a church. I don't know, maybe he teaches Sunday school or something. Every church around me has a trans pastor in LA.

I swear to God, I'm going to kill myself. What am I going to listen to every Monday? I promise to continue to not support your Patreon if you do that. There's probably not a white pastor around here. How far do you think I have to go to find a church with a white priest at it? Here, white male priest. Probably some lesbian, white lesbian around here,

definitely. Maybe. Mostly Mexican churches, probably. I can't even understand what they're saying in there. Do they even say anything? I used to want to, if I had to go to church, like we had to go to church before Christmas, I would want to go to the Mexican one because I can't hear anything they're saying. You can just kind of tune out.

So it's like, wah, wah, wah, wah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. That's what I would do. It's like, ee, wah, wah, wah, ee, wah, wah, wah, wah. I would go, I would just go there and I'd leave sermons in the middle like over and over again and people would be like hey What's he what's he doing in there? Yeah, what's he?

Talking about the Sonichu medallion mm-hmm and all has this This fixation on a Sonichu medallion I don't Kada had oh really alien made by that guy that no friend that raped his mom Oh God, not a shoe medallions. Oh that fucking guy that guy Yeah, we talked about him like years ago, right? We did. Yeah, I don't know where he is right now He belongs in jail. Yeah, we not though. Well, yeah, okay last last Okay, how about this one makes me rage is women getting all of their health information from TikTok. Especially when about two, three days ago, my wife says, oh, we need to be drinking a half glass. You have to drink a glass of water when you wake up and a half glass of water every hour after that until you go to bed.

Normal. And then the next day says, oh, also you can't drink water 30 minutes before or after you eat. Like okay, well there's three glasses of water in every meal. Oh, and guess what? You should be eating four small meals a day. So it looks like nobody's drinking any water

or we're not eating. What the fuck is it? We need four meals a day, four or five meals a day. You shouldn't eat more than what you could fit in your hand. And you should be drinking water out of the other hand. Fill this hand up with water. Fill this hand up with some bird seed or, you know, no seed oils, obviously.

Sure. Some granola. Not stuck together kind, just like, you know, spread around. Yeah. I don't know what that's called. That... Muesli or something. Muesli.

Yeah, like a... Is it Mues... Is that how you pronounce it? Well, Mue... Mueslicks. Mueslicks. Muesli. I think that's like a plural of... And then you drink water out of the...

You know, and shoot it real fast with the Muesli. Sure. That's good. That's... Your wife's just trying to keep you healthy, sir. And you're shooting all over her just because she's retarded. Good luck to you both. Bye.

Is that it? Yeah. See ya. Thank you.