The Dick Show - Episode 414

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

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Oh, this is a half full beer. These are like fucking landmines. A beer with exactly one sixth remaining. It's a goddamn hazard. It's a safety hazard. You know? There should be a warning on the can. I should put a warning.

You didn't drink this one, you pussy. Be very careful. Do not knock it over. Put it with the other empties. So yeah, you may be because it knocks it over because they're so treated like anies, so... Yeah. Somebody grabs it and knocks it over. Because they're so... Treat it like an empty, because the can itself is warm. It doesn't feel like, you know, like there's anything in it.

And with only a little bit in it, it's tough. It's easy to knock over. It's very easy to knock over. And there's enough in there... Exactly, Sean. Exactly right. ...to spill everywhere and ruin your life. To ruin another keyboard. To ruin another life.

Another life is destroyed. You know, some people would have you believe that it's gay marriage that destroys lives. I say it's beer with one sixth of it left. Left, yeah. It's Eric July that ruins lives. Really? How many of your friends

guns don't kill people? How many of your friends can go to fucking prison in two weeks? What's the record? Two's gotta be up there. If Eric July... Eric July, that fatherless cocksucker. You know how many times I've said the N-word today?

A LOT! A LOT MORE THAN NORMAL! That means that George might actually be able to put you in jail. You know what? I'm gonna run out of friends, Sean. Oh, Jesus. I'm running out of fucking friends. Yeah. Is this working?

I don't know. Is this shit working? These jokes working? Working in quotes. Fuck, man. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck Eric July.

What a fucking, I've run up and down the slur ladder. Bop, bop, bop. You know, Carlin had a routine, right? Things you can't say on TV. He left a couple words out that you can't fucking say on TV, right? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and kids. Yeah, there was a couple words that he left out of there that I've been going up and down the fucking left.

Fucking Eric July. Fucking Eric July got Riley arrested. Eric July lied. Riley's going to his gay event His comic meetup where a bunch of dysgenic Parasocial freaks Eric July's Terrick July's Dallas meetup where all these fall, you know fucking East celebrities I hope all of them get prostate cancer every single fucking one, but it's it's people who have celebrity Fucking one, but it's it's people who have celebrity

Who haven't don't have celebrity in the traditional like sense so they're not terrified But also they're not they're dealing with sort of make-believe that creeps over into the real world Yeah, as opposed to like you have to do everything in person like you have paparazzi outside your house You know you guys are being cocksuckers. Are you aware of that? Are you aware that your boy here, and I don't mean that in a racist way, not that I wouldn't say it like that but I just didn't mean it that time. Your boy here is lying to the cops to get Riley to get something.

Air July apparently, no one knew this, apparently ginned up some kind of fucking warrant on Riley for stalking for when he went to his warehouse and taped $20 to his door, right? Yeah. Eric July, bitch that he is, bitch ass, Dude, that is like- writer that he is. That guy was like, he had like gang affiliations, right? Well, that's probably, that's 100% fake. Yeah, I mean, he was the fucking, if he was in a gang, he's the one getting butt fucked. That fucking bitch.

Dude, it's like the mafia going to the cops. Like that, are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me, bro? You're calling the cops twice on this guy? You're bringing cops to your fucking business to make up a fake stalking claim against Riley? So then Riley shows up to Eric's gay comic meetup, right? And he's filming Nerd-Roddick's fat wife, this bitch that looks like a big fat fucking pig.

You know, he's just going around, he's going around filming people and fucking with people, right? They won't let him in. Well that's, yeah, well he's on the bad guy list. He's on the bad guy list. He's wearing a fucking cape, right? The only guy that we'll talk to him is Alex Stein. This is, you don't understand. Today was supposed to be a big day for me. Really?

Maddox. Did you graduate from something? I graduated. I have a story for you. You do? I have a story for you that's gonna blow your dick off. Really? Tie your dick down.

It's tied down, I could double knot it. Bro, when I first- Hell, I could triple knot my dick. You know, Vito discovered an acid that if you inject it into your penis, your penis gets like two inches bigger. What? And I'm almost, I'm 90% in.

Really? You gotta do some further research, see what kind of actual testing has been done. I'm gonna ask Chad GPT if it's okay For me to do always solid advice. Yeah, right. Well, you can't do better than that, you know two inch acid To you mean asking? Yeah. Hey, should I inject this acid into I don't like the name that it's acid Vito found an acid that if you inject it into your penis it gets bigger From an allergic reaction? I don't know! This shit gets bigger! I'm not asking questions!

I'm not asking questions over here! I'm not gonna ask the penis questions. Who cares? If it gets bigger for a little bit, I'm good. I'm sold. Okay, well... Is there anybody... If anybody wants to call in and just rage about this Riley shit... Riley is currently in jail. You walked in and I was talking to Riley. Yes. You're getting a call from an inmate because Riley's girlfriend won't pick up her fucking phone. Hey, can you tell my- Why is that? I said Riley, what's up, man? This is a call from prison. He goes, will you tell my girlfriend to pick up her fucking phone? I was like, oh man. Oh man. What the fuck? So he got- He's supposed to be a good date for me. Did he got arrested at the event? Cops showed up, event organizer came out and said you're fine.

Cops were there and they said you're not doing anything illegal. Cops showed up and said you're fucking going to jail bro. Arrested. Riley was arrested in Dallas and taken back to Denton, which is Eric's, Eric July's home city because he's in violation of some kind of warrant there. So clearly, Eric has lied to the police, made up some kind of bullshit warrant on Riley, and sent, called in his fucking goon squad, his Karen squad, his black Karen squad, to swoop in like Alpha Corps, scoop Riley Riley up. Send him to the fucking slammer.

He's got contacts in the co- These are real cops who arrested him, right? Took him to real jail? Yeah, Eric had to suck a lot of dicks. These are real cops, yes. God damn it. Riley called me from Pr- Hey, can I borrow some bail money? What the-?

Absolutely. This is hilarious. Of course you can- I'm not gonna let you rot in jail. Of course you can borrow some money. B let you rot in jail! Of course you can bar on somebody! Can you believe this shit? What kind of a bitch ass writer? I just don't know how he could be like this... How do you call the fucking cops on a guy with

novelty scissors joking around handing out your comics outside an event? Like what is the difference between what Riley's doing and what people at the event are doing? Not jack shit. I'm here because I'm a fucking super fan of Eric July and all these goddamn e-celebrities are in there hobnobbing it, glad handing, pretending they're at a fucking Met Gala for dysgenic freaks, looking fatter than hell, all having fat wives and

I and and and aspiring to fuck them. They're in there laughing it up. Riley's getting fucking arrested. This is it. This is the free speech squad, right? And I- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and- and It just depends what you're talking about. That's it. Because everybody is fucking as scared as everybody else on both sides. The freaks on both sides. He just doesn't want to get made fun of. That's what they're afraid of, getting embarrassed. That's what I mean. Whatever. It's what you're afraid of. That guy's embarrassing me. It's what you're afraid of.

Some people are definitely afraid of looking like an asshole. Other people are afraid that somebody's actually gonna commit violence against them. Everybody's... but it's always fucking fear. Look what somebody said to me. And you want it to go away. One of the... one of the... one of the ripitards said this to me. I'm being picked on like always. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He said, you would never ever say that to my face. What did you say? Almost nothing. He said, first of all, that's my daughter. Okay. Almost nothing. He said first of all, that's my daughter. Okay, so he made a fat wife crack or something or I'm sure. How was I supposed to know it's his daughter? Who would have a daughter that these days you don't know if somebody's daughter is that fat or it's their wife? I used to, you know, you used to know. Look at this fat big wife. Because it's big as it took time.

Yeah, that's my daughter. Your daughter is that fat? Yeah. At your age? Yeah. What the fuck? Back in my day, man, you gotta be married to be that fat. Right. Right? You would never say that to... I mean, I'm not gonna put her on the...

She's an adult. Yeah. Right? Okay. So no fault of mine. I'm totally innocent. You're not making fun of an eight-year-old, I mean... No, look at this. Sean, look at this.

Riley in handcuffs. Yeah. In jail, bro. Right. Sean, when I tell you this story of Maddox that I have for you today. Yeah. And your dick falls off.

Yeah. Let me tell you something. It'll be worth it. Kevin Landau is now my hero. No. I will do anything for him. No. He is my agent of, I mean, it's like God, if God were to make, you know, my God, if Satan were to make an angel of wrath. The

big electron, the big magnet. The great magnet. Oh man, the carbon tornado is really kicking in, man. It's picking off my guys left and right. Yeah. Whew. Do you think Nick's gonna, he's not gonna go to jail, right? That search warrant, they're gonna toss that out. No, I don't- That search warrant, they gotta toss. There's no way- No, I don't think they'll-

There's no way a fucking cop can see a livestream and say you're clearly on cocaine. There's no fucking way. They can sit down. If I, I, hardcore drug addict sat down and talked to you for an hour, I could give you an I don't know man maybe he's on drugs. He's clearly cracked out, but is he on drugs? Does he have a history of drugs? Is he religious?

Is he excited to be here? I don't fucking know. And there's no fucking way some cop knows better than me. Right? I think that, no, I think him going to jail does nothing good for anyone involved. Not society, not for Nick, not for his family. That fucking pastor helps. That fucking pastor! Possibly, but we don't care about him.

Why do? I mean, you don't want him to get what he, you know, whatever he's doing. But I don't care about him as far as like who's a you know who who actually suffers for it Look at this fucking badass Riley that he is getting fucking Arrested a white thing. He's getting George Floyd it here. Look at this He's upright by this by this fucking wicked witch here Here's the Saskasister that eric's not trying to fuck. Yeah. All I said was, this guy, this ripitard,

you know, I'd had a couple dozen beers. Yeah. I had a great, it was supposed to be a great night, Sean. This Maddox shit happened. This was, wait, yesterday? Last night. Last night. This all happened last night.

Couple of dozen beers. This all happened last night. All of it. All of it. Yeah. 80's Girl and I were going to a screening of Super Troopers. Really? You know that movie, Super Troopers?

Of course. There's this theater called Vidiots. Yeah. And they only show like old, cool, like cult movies. I love that movie. Bro, so the whole cast was there, doing like a drunk Q and A before. Yeah.

And they were doing like typical Hollywood shit. Do we have Leder-A-Cola? Bro. Yeah. So they're all doing, they're all telling like typical Hollywood shit. Do we have later a cola? Bro. So they're all doing, they're all telling like stupid Hollywood stories that nobody cares about. Well, you know, we got this and we got this through and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So finally the woman hosting you goes,

is there any other questions? And I go, and there's a couple of hands coming, she picked somebody and go, I said, you know how loud I can be. Yes. I could, if I chose to, Yeah. I think I could make you hear me

on the other side of the earth. It's, you know. Through the ground or through neutrinos, some kind of way, it's reverberating in your threads in your mind, right? Yeah. So I was, I put it up to like a three, right? Which is for me is huge. Right. I'm at a one right now. Yeah. You know, you know, I put it up to like a three, right? Which is for me is huge.

I'm at a one right now. You know, you know, I'm never above a one. Maybe if I'm interrupting the national anthem or a military like tribute at a Dodgers game, maybe I'll go up to a two and fuck that up. Because that's murder as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, anything over a two is just showing off. I turned it up to a three because I really want to,

I said, who came up with Leder E. Cola? Was that improvised? And fucking Jay, the brown guy, he goes, he immediately goes. Changer Sincar. Yeah, Jay's Changer Sincar. He goes, he goes, man. And everyone starts laughing. I was like, awesome.

Yeah, yeah. That was awesome. I look over at my girlfriend, she goes, nice. Yeah, yeah. Good job. Man, that doesn't get any better than this. That was fucking... It's appreciating the details. Yes, and he goes,

you know, this fucking guy at the drive-thru at Burger King, we would get fucked up making Super Troopers. We would go eat at Burger King every day, and the fucking drive-thru guy would make me order a liter of cola every time He wouldn't let me say a large or whatever. So I said fuck that guy. We're put him in the movie and everyone's right Yeah, yeah, Mike. This is awesome. The most obnoxious characters the one who said yeah. Yeah, I did this

This should be my this should be a day of celebration Yeah, I'm fucking bailing my friends out of prison again. You forgot to say car ramrod. Oh, I forgot What was I? Oh, yeah, so I you know I had a couple dozen beers and this fucking this fruit He's lipping off about Riley all these this guy all these conservative guys the quartering okay, not radical This guy who's holding the kid yeah, this guy Make fun of the kid right no He's of course not! I know, just fuck with you.

That kid's not- It's like two and a half. You know, it's like American Psycho, right? He kills the kid and he goes, I felt nothing. I was like, yes, because they haven't had time to fuck up yet. Like, it only feels good. So he posted this and he says, my heart is beyond full. And he's got him and these piss whores. Oh boy. And I said, your wife is beyond full and he's got him and these these piss whores Oh boy, and I said your wife is beyond full, right?

Oh boy HAHAHAHAHAHA I mean come on Come on that's my fault you set me up How did you think that that was his wife? Well look at her don't they look like the same age? This guy and this lady? I mean kind of but yeah I mean

I mean come on mean, come on! We're gonna split hairs here? Well, how did you know they were together, was what I was gonna say. Well, I don't know, he's posting a picture. I assume that it's a... I mean, it's a safe bet. A good assumption. Good assumption, because it got a reaction. I was wrong, Sean, as it turns out. But you were close. I was close!

I mean, there was a... First of all, that's my daughter. It's like a fucking setup for a punchline, right? First of all, I hardly knew her. You would never ever say that to my face. First of all, that's my daughter and granddaughter. He definitely doesn't know you. Bro.

You don't know how, you don't know what it's worth for me to hurt people you don't know I know you're gonna hear it. It's gonna be way If you were ever to say that to my face like he clearly like I mean like he's like it he was like Yeah, he was a young dad I could totally see and he raised a shitty whore who's knocking kids out at 16, right? I mean, that's just my unbiased opinion. I don't know him.

He looks like a grandfather at like 45, you know, or something. Which means you're a shitty dad. I mean, you know. I mean, you got some, you got, you raised a daughter who got semen pumped into her at a young age. Biologically speaking, medically speaking, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not me judging. Right, with the semen pumper 2000.

Some kind of semen pumped its way into your fucking, right? That's how babies are, yeah. That's how babies are made. Right. I mean, that's what God did. I didn't do this. I'm celebrating the miracle of life. Right.

Through your whore, die. Jesus. Oh yeah. I'm pissed, man. These fucking ripitards, man. How can you how can you? They're all hobnobbing right? Yeah Riley's getting dragged away in handcuffs. These fucking blue bloods these fucking smooth brained blue bloods If you were to ever to say that to my face, I would hurt you in ways you didn't know were possible

You'd make me raise a whore daughter? Wow, I guess, I mean, I don't think that's possible for you to do that. You're really in it for the long haul. Yeah. No threat. Real talk. I love when guys, you know I love when guys say that. This isn't a threat.

Yeah. Okay. What is it? What is it? It's somewhere between a threat and something real. Right. All right. I would fucking hurt you. All right. Yep. That's a threat and something real. Right. Alright. I would fucking hurt you. Alright.

Yep. That's a threat, right? Your daughter hurts me just looking at her. Could say it's fantasy. It's too fucking fat. Yep, yep, okay. Feed... give her some more food. That would really hurt me.

First of all, that's my daughter. You ever think someone would say that to you? First of all, that's my daughter! No. Yeah. Pfft. Hahaha. Ahh.

Wow. Man, you know what scared you here? What? You go out with your girlfriend for like one of her friends birthday dinners. Yeah. And one of the yentas at the table goes, Hey, order whatever you want. It's on us.

Say, hey, you should have said that you should save that till after the ordering. Don't tell her in advance that it's on, you know. It's on us. Say hey, you should have said that you should save that till after the ordering. Don't tell her in advance that it's on, you know? Wait till the ordering happens and then say hey by the way, we're gonna treat you. Yeah. Right? And then the jokes come, shit I'd have gotten the lobster. Right.

You don't go, hey here's the menu, order whatever you want, it's on us. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's also like I want to play big shot for the night, you know or something. It's just women, they don't understand. They're like, well, yeah, I want her to feel free ordering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... I've seen guys do that too who are trying to impress people. My life coach did that to me and then he made me pay at the end.

He's like, I'm taking everyone out. Really? Then he's shitting his pants. That was the night? Yeah. Oh, God. He's shitting his tracksuit. Man.

No prison involved though. It's quite an evening when you shit your tracksuit. Yeah it's rough. In the women's room that had no lock on it. Did I tell you that part? Yeah I can't remember. How did he shit himself? Did he trusted a fart? Oh no yeah. When you're drinking like that, like how, you know,

we've all been drinking to that level. Yes, and it's trusting a fart. I mean, the problem is that alcohol instills confidence, yet loosens things up. And lacks sphincters. It's a real, it's a very, very cruel thing. Oh my God, what the fuck? Riley. That's Riley right there. Who fucked with him? That's an AI. Yeah. I can't believe it, man.

I can't fucking believe this shit. That's amazing. Is that Eric back there calling? Mm-hmm. It's Eric calling the police. Dude, I can't believe. I'm revoking your fucking black card if you're calling the fucking cops.

No credibility. You bitch ass. You fucking bitch ass East Coast motherfucker. Everybody on the fucking East Coast is a bitch. I can't believe he did that. I can't believe he did that. Me either. You got a report of a guy with a, wearing a cape.

Yeah. He's kind of, he's just bugging everyone. And there was a cop at the fucking event sitting outside not doing jack shit But of course because he's cuz Riley isn't doing anything. What the fuck is Riley gonna do like? Nothing, that's it. He he tapes money to doors. He's he's brings his hot this shows like stuttering John interviewing people Like you know yeah, except he's like the smart. Well, yeah. Stuttering John is, you know Stuttering John is like Carl's nemesis now, right?

I know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. No, no, no, Riley is, no, he's smarter than Stuttering John. What I'm saying, he's going out and like annoying at worst. Yeah. And he's only annoying, he doesn't even really do anything. He just stands around. He was yelling suey at Nerd-radix wife. That's I mean

Maybe in poor taste Nothing could be yelling suey at anybody though. Nothing. Nothing that hasn't been done by somebody Right, what do you think he's yelling while he's sticking it in her probably suey or some version of that while he's sticking it in her. Probably Suey, or some version of that. Um... I can't say for sure that he hasn't yelled that. Maybe on accident he has. Suey!

Maybe. Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't mean to yell that because you're a big fat pig. I had a dream about a farm last night. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, man. I don't know where to go. Where do you go from there? I don't know.

It's just nonstop. It's nonstop fucking problems. You probably play the you go from there? I don't know. It's just non-stop. It's non-stop fucking problems. You probably play the theme song from there. Oh shit. Alright, thanks for bringing that up. Poor bastard getting carted away by the fucking, by two black cops. Oh, we gotta watch this. Oh no. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee You want to get you think you love it you got the showrooms account is coming live from Mountbunk deep in the heart of city failure me I was Dick Bastian The 20 million dollar man joining me as always is world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. What's up, buddy? Hello, Dick. How you doing? Yeah, not too bad. Been better. One of these days I'm gonna be in prison.

And the fun's gonna be over. It is possible. That's what they're going for, right? This Maddox is greatest fantasy. My guy's getting popped one by one. Prison, prison, dead, prison. Yeah. Whatcha gonna do?

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys, bad boys, bad boys. Riley's a bad boy. So he's getting let off. He's getting let off. He's in Dent County right now. Awaiting bail for tomorrow. You gotta wait. Take you to prison, you gotta wait for bail.

You know, on a weekday. Oh you do? You can't bail somebody out on the weekend. He missed. So they... Again, it's this fucked up, small town bullshit where they had to take him to Denton County, where Eric lives. Where is that, Texas? Yeah, in Texas. From Dallas to Denton. How far is that? I don't know.

So it's this specific, stalking bullshit, obvious bullshit. I mean, Eric is... he says he lies to the police and then goes on streams and talks about how he's a big shot and he could suck anyone's cock. Eric is, he's always on stream going, any size cock I could suck it, big, small, man's cock, woman's cock, donkey cock, pig cock, whatever, bring it on, I'll suck it.

Like he's a big tough guy, right? That's, Eric, that's his fucking bread and butter, right? You wouldn't fuck with him. I'll suck it like he's a big tough guy, right? That's actually That's his fucking bread and butter right? Fuck a little I wouldn't fuck with a guy I mean, that's that's versatility that I don't have I'm versatile. Oh Tough guy. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm a gangbanger. I'll suck any cock you got. Wait, what? Yeah.

Ooh, wow. It's a dangerous fella. Right. I mean, he was starting at like level eight right there. My dad started me on cock sucking before he left. My dad started me cock sucking young. And I would suck the fucking, I would suck the end. I would suck the end through a baseball bat. My daddy left home when I was three and he didn't leave much to ma and me. Just this old guitar, a cock sucking handbook, and a bottle of booze, right? Yeah.

That's Johnny Cash, I think. Yes, yes, that is that song. He had to change the lyrics for prison. That's not how Shel Silverstein originally wrote it. That was an ad. Oh, that was different. Yeah. Maybe it's cause I reviewed, I did review Yira.

You did? Yeah, it's not good. Okay, I'm kind of stunned. I mean, I thought he would have gotten it right the second time. Well, he's writing it with these, um, these ugly witch whores that he hired to be his, uh- That's not what he calls them. Um, to be his lore masters or whatever they are. I don't know, I'm just tired of talking about comics. Mm. Really?

Maddox announced that he, strange announcement. Here's the Maddox story. Strange announcement that he made. Yes, this is yesterday? A couple days ago. Okay. He said, big news is coming, right? As he does.

Maddox says, big news is coming. Yeah. I have nine, 22, he said, he said it in a weird way. Does anybody have the, does anybody have his announcement in the chat, in the general chat posted in there? He said it in a very bizarre way. He's like, I finally went and did it. I- That's what he, yeah.

Okay. He says, I made, or I animated, or some version of this, I made nine 22 minute animated episodes of the Encyclopedia of Manliness, right? He's going back to the Encyclopedia of Manliness. Now, it's funny that you say it that way, right? He's going back to his roots, right? Well, he's got something that he basically disavowed. Not for being, you know, in poor taste, cause it's written like shit.

That was the alphabet of man. The encyclopedia's got no rape in it at all. Oh! Oh, sorry. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's the- This is the encyclopedia of manliness. Oh, fuck. Okay. That was the alphabet of manliness. Oh, right. See, I don't remember what it is. The encyclopedia of manliness was never a book, right? Oddly, yes.

The alphabet was a book. Yeah, the one that he disavowed. The Encyclopedia is a video. All right, I got them mixed up. A series of videos. Got it. So Maddox says- But still, of manliness.

Is this the one? Maddox posted a, is it a picture of me? Maddox posted a picture of me where I'm the, he said someone sent this to him, but obviously they didn't obviously he made it Where I'm these I'm the woman stalker and baby reindeer Okay, he says people keep telling me to watch baby reindeer then someone sent me this I don't get it Is it about an obsessed podcaster? Yeah, how it's me right, right? But if I'm the stalker, that makes Maddox

the closeted homosexual who gets fucked in the ass for a chance at fame. Is that what Baby Reindeer? That's what happens in Baby Reindeer. Wow. And who's also dating a trans woman because he's a closeted homosexual and hates himself. And also outs his dad as being raped as a kid

in a parochial school. Wow. Wow, that's quite a show, I guess. as being raped as a kid in parochial school. Wow, that's quite a show, I guess. That's the character he identifies with. Does anyone have the actual announcement? Yeah, here it is, huge news, huge news. Today, I'm gonna put it up here. Put it up there, why don't you put it up there?

Is that putting it up? Did I put it up yet? Come on, man. Come on, put it up there. Why don't you put it up there? Is that putting it up? Am I did I put it up yet? Come on, man Come on, put it up. Come on one of these menu selections. God damn things I'm losing it. Yeah, me too Fucking Riley man. That's wild. He's getting he's getting fucked raw. There it is I don't know how a cop just came up and arrested him for... Because Eric called them.

Yeah, uh... Eric called them like the bitch that he is. The venue owner said no problem. The cop that was there said no problem. Was he even inside the venue? No. He wasn't allowed in, right? No, he was in the fucking parking lot.

He was in the fucking parking lot. They said Don... Riley was like recording on the window he could just be an annoying guy with a John 3 16 sign and they wouldn't remove him right I mean like fucking home you're allowed to stand in a parking lot and do whatever you want unless like the owner of the mall is it a private parking lot yeah I mean like yes but they have to say like get the fuck out of here you You don't go to jail for... Right. Um... I mean...

Say leave or we'll arrest you. I mean... And then still arrested is like, well we're gonna take you... It's like, just go dude. Eric lied about something to get a warrant hit on him and Denton. Here's what matters. Huge news. It's kind of bizarre.

Today marks the 18th anniversary of my first book, The Alphabet of Manliness. Really? And I'm proud to announce that I have finally made an animated show! Wow. I have finally made an animated show. Isn't that a weird way to phrase? Yeah. It's called The Encyclopedia of Manliness.

And there are nine episodes at 22 minutes each. So a full season. More details to come. Enjoy this teaser trailer for now. I'm not gonna, I'm sure the, I've got some of them. I have a bunch of the episodes. You do? Yeah, I'm gonna play part of them. Well you have a bunch of the episodes. Yeah. Do I, I think I know why you have a bunch of the episodes? Why do you have them? Why do you think? Because it's what you guys did.

No. No, it's not. Is it none of that animated stuff? This is a new animated show. Totally new. Yeah, has nothing to do with none of the artwork or anything? Nope. Actually, you're going to like this one.

OK. Tell me if this is familiar. All right. My fucking mouse is fritzing out here This this struck me as odd Find the media tab Maybe you recognize somebody in this show Sean does that look a little familiar little bit Awesome does that look like to you? I don't know who does this handsome gentleman with the V-neck and jeans and a black V-neck and short? And more muscles than I have.

But you know, it's animated. Yeah sure. Does that look familiar to you at all? I'm flattered. This is apparently in his cartoon. Wow. So I have some of them and I'll play it. Yeah. I'll play a little bit.

Yeah. The animation is like the animation is great. Really? Oh, it's amazing. Yeah. Amazing. Um, the, the writing is stilted. Yeah.

And like shitty, but it's like, it's like normal shit that normal people like. Yeah. Like it would be a. Could it be a hit? It would be a huge hit. It would be. shitty, but it's like normal shit that normal people like. Like it would be a... Could it be a hit? It would be a huge hit. It would be. It would be a huge, except for the Maddox parts. He's like introducing every bit.

Is he acting in it? Yeah. He's live acting in it and it's god awful and pointless and like, you know, wooden. Like he talks. They're better line reads than his book. It's still terrible. And then he does voiceovers in the cartoon and they're awful as well.

We'll watch a little bit of it, but I, something struck me about it that I thought you would enjoy. I probably will, yeah. As we're... as we're... as the Discord guys, the top autists who found these episodes. They found them because various producers and artists on the show, on this Encyclopedia of Manly's show, had uploaded these episodes to their Vimeos. In 2018. They had this on their resumes in 2018.

And it hasn't been released? No, isn't that peculiar? Bro, that's a huge fu- you can't do that. What do you mean? You don't publish fucking somebody's work before like it's released? Well, yeah, that's true. Some of them are unlisted. People do that shit.

Like somebody, I mean, every once in a while you get some retard. You'd think that would be a big fuck up, right? It's a huge fuck up. That's why I only found a couple. Yeah. And I've been saying, I'm like, I got an episode, but I've got like five of them that we found. That's like firing and blackballing.

Like, I mean, I've seen people do that stupid shit. Those people don't work. Well, these guys have all moved on from this project that they were involved in, what, six years ago? Yeah. Which is kind of funny, isn't it? So this shit was... This shit was made six years ago.

It started, and again, the guys in the Discord have figured this out. They pieced it together. They started animating it according to IMDB. And this, by the way, this is the greatest thing maybe that's ever happened. They say that the best revenge is living life to the fullest. That shit's a lie. Cause it's illegal to kill the person that hurt you. And it's usually, you know, you're going to fuck it up. That's why they say that.

Like, yeah, you know, we'd all like to just kill the guy. But it's a rationalization. I get it. It's a rationalization. Cause I've been living- So you can live with the fucking, that pain. They can live with that singing feeling in the belly. Yeah, we all get it.

But we just tell ourselves this. Like it's God, you know, God says this. The guy that made us said, like, the best thing to do is just live to the fullest. Like, no, that shit's a lie. Right. And I know, because I've been living to the fullest and it still never goes away. Yes, I understand. Until now.

Oh, really? You've exercised the demons. Uh, this all started according to IMDB. Yeah. These animators and writers and producers and line producers started working on this nine episode animated series Mm-hmm. in, uh, August of 2018.

August, September of 2018. Okay. I think they found it. Yeah. So, and this is huge. This is a huge sale. An entire season of a cartoon. Yeah.

Even one episode is like, I don't know, animating 90 seconds is like $100,000, right? I mean, it's gotten cheaper because it's gotten, first it was out, you know, we used to go to Japan, too expensive, Korea now too expensive. Now it's all over like Indonesia, Malaysia. Yeah, so how much do you think a nine episode animated? Maybe three million bucks, five million?

I don't know. I don't know. Am I dead wrong in that? I don't know. Let me show you. I'm not familiar with... The quality of this animation is incredible. With what animation costs? I think it's probably a lot cheaper than you think it is. Than me?

Than you think it is. Here's what a big studio animation post-production budget is. I'm not going to say which studio. But in the late 90s, early 2000s, the post, so that means, that means, you know, after all it's, the picture's locked, the dialogue is in, but you have, not counting ADR, but you'll have sound design, you'll have Foley, you'll have composing, you'll have the composer,

and the mix. That, this studio, for a 22 minute episode, the budget for that used to be like $23,000, $24,000, which doesn't sound like a lot. Wait, that's not for animation though. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, the animation is what- This is the post, I'm just saying,

but here's- You make eight seconds a day. But hang on, here's what budgets are. $23,000. That same budget now for the same stuff is nine grand. That's it. Okay. That's fucking, and everything has followed suit as it's gotten easier and they've gone to worse

and worse places. Okay, I'll tell you this. I asked the animation studio that made the ISOM animated trailer, 90 seconds, they quoted me $100,000. I emailed them and said, I wanna make one for my comic. Animation's going to be more.

Animation's gonna be more, right? So, and it's the same thing when we sold the cartoon to Titmouse. It was like 80 grand for like five minutes. Yeah, yeah. What I'm saying is, Verizon, who bought this series, I found, dumped a ton of money into this. Yeah. You don't buy a whole season.

You buy a pilot and then produce it. But they're throwing money around. I'm saying somebody bet a shitload of money Yeah on this series that has never that has not come out since 2018. Yeah, I think that's kind of bizarre I think that's kind of a that's somebody they dumped all this money into this animation and then shelved it Oh, yeah, look, I mean, I mean that I'll leave you know, the quality of this. Yeah, that does happen Bro, look at this is like hello friend You look like you could use a little advice. Who, me?

Why of course you. Step right over here and I'll let you in on a little secret. Franchise. I don't know. Yes, I said franchise. That's Matt Maddox's lines are just god awful, right? This guy's great. He sounds like the demons from the Hasbin Hotel cartoon.

I mean that's terrible. You wouldn't... What the fuck does franchise have to do with... Female wrestling was the... was F in the alphabet of manliness. What the fuck does franchising have to do with manliness? You can't let George be a character. It's awful.

You need real voice actors. Someone who could at least speak in normal life. Why have a bass? Breathe in down your neck. Here, here, I'll play another one. This animation, I mean, is this just in a rough stage? Or are they doing this in a sepia tone, like, because it's the old west or something like that? Yeah, it's stylized. But this is high quality.

You will at least agree with me on that. It's not something that George does at home. Yeah, no here's Here's an here's one that has his acting at the front Which you know is fucking awful. Let's see if I can What the hell I mean this mean, this is still in progress. You think so? Well, yeah, because you saw the type come up on the thing. Uh, that might have been the VLC. That? Okay, there he is acting. There we go.

Oh boy. Road rage. It's a misleading phrase because it implies that being on the road without having rage is optional. It is not. The rage you feel while you're on the road is constant and everlasting. Hey, Maddox, screw you, dickweed! Your show fucking sucks! I know.

You know what doesn't suck? That bitch. He's getting a stick of dynamite and throwing it out on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God! Sean, he's so natural, you know? Right. And throwing it out on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Sean, he's so natural, you know?

As in front of the camera, really sells that he's in traffic and not like really cripplingly uncomfortable reading these jokes that aren't funny when you have to say them out loud. Yeah. Yeah. Really underselling bad material, right? R is for road rage. In this lesson, we're going to review a few studies, discuss what they tell us about man, and use them to create guidelines that will help you

better understand your life on the road. Men are above and beyond the most aggressive drivers on the road. The more men there are in a vehicle, the more rage there is in said vehicle. A typical car can fit five men, with one sitting in the middle seat in the back. Unfortunately, he doesn't count because he's sitting bitch.

Come on guys, getting mad isn't gonna get us to the front. The old place, any... He does the voice too? I guess, yeah. Okay. He's sitting in the bitch seat. Yeah. So he's not a man.

Right. Right? Well, he plays a character though. Yeah, yeah. Road rage is best expressed by horns and sirens. Fire trucks have the most men and the most aggressive horns and sirens, making them the ragiest. Cars yield to them not because they have to,

but because they know better than to obstruct the giant screaming red mass of angry men in metal. Now we're never gonna get fro-yo. Three studies over the last five years have shown that people driving expensive cars are more likely... Look at this. This light... This is great. Yeah. I mean, this is too good, this cut. Is he sitting next to a slide projector?

He's sitting next to a heart monitor so they can see if he's alive while he's delivering his performance. They can make sure. The director would go, is he dead? No, we got the heart monitor hooked up. How many times do you think he stumbled over the words? Oh, at least a hundred thousand. You know, the director's going like, hey, can we get this one in English in case you play these in the States?

Sean, nine episodes of this shit was made. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. And it gets... And this is... There's a payoff to this story. I'm halfway through the story.

Yeah, sure. You think production began or... And it was... It began in August. Of 2018. 2018. And do we know when it wrapped? I do. You do?

I do know when it wrapped. Yeah. Because they all... all these animators and producers all 2018 2018 and do we know when it wrapped I do you do know when it wrapped yeah because they all all these animators and producers all meticulously filled in their IMDB pages yeah yeah we're updating the their Vimeo stats and stuff like that very interesting a little more motorist August or September 2018 so Maddox got a you got a ton of money. Yeah, I mean, yeah. This is shit, but it's not any worse than anything else that's on television, right? No, there's a...

No, clearly a company put money behind this. If this had shown, if this was on TV, it would be a big success. It would have been a big success in 2018. Yeah, maybe so. I have no doubt. This would have been a huge hit. Here we go.

And less likely to stop for pedestrians. The obvious logical conclusion is this. If you drive like an asshole, you will become rich. Take rich Mitch. He maximizes his time, making sure that he continues to work while driving. Driving around minorities. Uh oh, looks like his money's at risk.

And there's traffic ahead. Let's see how he reacts. You can bet he won't be late for work. Go make that money, Mitch. Here's a- So exciting you know you really feel like you're seeing some comedy with the line with the delivery. Go make that money Mitch. Go make that money Mitch. Now no one will be getting in his way. Right. Poor Paul. He's a kindergarten teacher with tenure. Shucks it's a rainbow. He's locked into a shitty salary for the rest of his life.

Time isn't money for Paul. Oh my. Time is just time. I guess all my plans got canceled for the day. Isn't it crazy how the actual voice actors, you can just immediately feel like you're watching a cartoon? Well, I'm not a... I haven't heard any acting yet, but...

Well, that guy. No. That guy? That was terrible. Even that guy? No. Wow. Terrible. Oh, you're a pro though guy. No. That guy? That was terrible. Even that guy?

No, terrible. Oh, you're a pro though, you know. But it's at least different. You'd say, oh, that's a different. I guess, it's a different voice. I mean, this is not a fucking big time, but I work with the best in the industry, period. That's the biggest time you could ever be.

I work with the best in the world. I'm very fortunate to be in that circle. It's just, it's not a brag, it's a fact. It doesn't sound like a guy's. And I'm used to what be in that circle. It's just, it's not a brag, it's a fact. It doesn't sound like a guy's- And I'm used to what reads sound like. Right. You know, like, I mean, it's just- Well, to me as a non-professional,

that at least sounds like a character talking and not a guy talking at a microphone. Sure, plus we're also very close to, you know, what George sounds like. Yeah, I'm supposed to go for a nice little walk. Oh, what a wonderful thing. This to me all sounds temp. Now that we all know what road rage is,

it's time to learn how to. Do you think that they made the glasses crooked on purpose? I can't get his right eye. Why is he wearing a woman's glasses? What is, right? I know, it's not a good. What is this? No, there should be a different frame color.

And the one, it's like cockeyed on, it needs to be adjusted So that his right eye looks like his left eye That's the first thing I noticed it's literally the first thing I noticed That's not like a smart guy pair of glasses this is like Roz at the monsters incorporated You know the slug yeah, yeah, you know, the slug glasses. This is like a ladies glasses. Not a smart man's glasses. Like they should be like thick rimmed maybe.

Like falling down, that's a smart guys glasses, right? Yes, yes, yes. Let me pull that up. They're more like horned, they're kind of buddy Holly glasses, right? Yeah, falling down. What was his name? Michael Douglas?

Douglas, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that's, those are glasses. I want to do like a walking tour of Falling Down. Yeah. You know, we watched it. I almost saw that movie once, like a long, long time ago. It starts right at the freeway,

down by Lincoln Park, the worst interchange in the world, you know, right there. Yeah. And then he walks to Venice. Yeah. It's like 15 miles. Okay. And then he walks to Venice. Yeah. It's like 15 miles. OK. Let's go back to this.

Implement it on and off the road. Hello. It's time to learn about driving a car. Are you ready, Lewis? I sure am. Look out, world. Here comes Lewis. Stay in the right-hand lane and continue

at your current speed. Now slow. Sounds like a Squidward ripoff. Right there. Right. Stop. You're doing great. Can I turn right on a red light?

That's correct. Hold on. There is the pedestrian. Hey go dipshit! Did he just call me a dipshit? He must not have seen the pedestrian. Don't let it bother you, Lewis. Pull over here.

Like this? Now let that piece of shit pass you. Now floor it. Fast, huh? Yes, you're going to go ahead and catch up with this human garbage. Now pull up next to him. Great, Lewis. Now close your fist and raise your middle.

These are all George's fantasies, you know, like on what he wants to do to people. They're really gay fantasies. He just wants to kill people all the time for... Yeah. ...for littleing him or making him feel small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tailgating, right? People, there's this weird kind of fuck that's like obsessed with tailgating. You can go faster or ignore it. Yeah.

It's like it doesn't affect you at all. Right. Uh... Now, Floyd. Fast, huh? Yes. You're going to go ahead and catch up with this human garbage. Now, pull up next to him. Great, Louis. Now, close your fist and raise your middle finger.

Perfect. Oh, yeah. Fist joking. Now, call him a soggy asshole. Hey, Louis. Now close your fist and raise your middle finger. Perfect. Now call him a soggy asshole. Hey, mister, you're a soggy asshole. That joke is ripped off from the naked gun. Yeah, I mean, I've seen that joke, the whole, yeah. Make a first, extend your middle finger. Now extend your middle finger.

Yeah. Anyway, that's a show. The reason why I bring it up is, Maddox got a bunch of money, a bunch of animators, got a bunch of money to make this shit. And I believe that if it would have come out, It would have been a hit. It would have been a big hit.

Because it's like, this is like retarded shit that people love. People are just fucking stupid. They retarded shit. Yeah, I could people love. Yeah, people are just fucking stupid. Yeah, they love this shit Oh, yeah, I've been I've been I've been in I've been tailgated too. I would love to flip someone off Yeah, I'm so glad someone finally said it right. I mean, I've seen plenty of animated shows where it's like you get a show like Adventure Time Yeah, which is very autistic. Yes, right And so the suits don't understand why it's a hit. And so they go, we gotta get some really weird motherfuckers to make more shows like this.

And believe me, like I mean I've worked on some of these shows. And like they, nobody knows, well I don't, the whole thought is, well I don't understand it so but but but but the kids will get it yeah I don't understand it cuz I don't understand it so I don't understand anything else. It's a show about a boy and his dog going on adventures we got to get a bunch of chicks in here to make it about like relationships and women doing shit and of course they're not hits they're just weird. Yeah. So remember my timeline, August 2018, Maddox. Now should I know something about August 2018? Well, you might not know anything about August 2018.

I don't pay attention. That's when this show began production. We got a big Verizon comes in with their big old cell swinging dick. I'm gonna buy Maddox, all these animators. We're gonna give you a ton of money, we're gonna make you we're gonna make you rich Verizon paid for this yeah yeah you know Verizon they got a lot of money are they still in fucking are they still in I don't think they're buying content

anymore like yeah anymore they came in give you a bunch of money you guys are gonna be famous right we love this right here's a bunch of money. Now, all you have to do is make the show and give it to us. And you're done. Right? Your fucking troubles are over. This is your dream. This is why you came to LA. Right?

This is your dream. You get to act in it, even though you're a shitty actor and you're only doing it because Dick was doing voice acting for the cartoon and you shove yourself into it. It's his show. Who cares if he's acting or not? I mean, that's the big show. Yeah. None of that shit matters. It's perfect. It's bite-sized. It's ready for a younger audience, right? This is 2018, right? Right. You know, people are hungry for this shit. Sure.

All you have to do is give us the final copy. Yeah. Right? Right. You know, people are hungry for this shit. Sure. All you have to do is Give us the final copy. Yeah, right? Yeah So Maddox gets a bunch of money in August 2018. Yeah, and then a little emissary Shows up and says hey, I know what you should do. Mm-hmm while they're making your big cartoon He says hi, my name is Kevin Landau. Mm-hmm. I heard you got a bunch of cash That guy's talking that guy's making fun of you on his little podcast There's a big podcast, but you know that that's just men men watch podcast. Nope. The world doesn't care about fucking podcasts, right? You should sue him. Yeah, how much money you got? I Got a you know, 100 grand 200 grand. Is is that enough? Oh it's that's a good start.

Give me that money and I'm at that guy's been fucking around with you for a long time I'm gonna fucking hit him where it hurts. We're gonna go to New York and file a lawsuit. 20 million or 380 million dollars in November. We're not sure, nobody knows. Whatever we do. Stereo. We're gonna fuck up his life man. million dollars in November. Stereo. We're going to fuck up his life, man. This is what you want. You don't want that cartoon shit.

This is what you want. Revenge. Right? So November 2018, he sues me and everybody I know in the world, except for you. For millions. Yeah. And wraps around to whenever the lawsuit wraps up at the same time that this cartoon finishes. Yeah. And Verizon says, oh yeah, that's cool. Thanks. You're right. Thanks for the, thanks for the content. Uh-huh. We're good. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. Done. Yeah. Five years later. Maddox is still sitting on this dog shit. Now you can say, oh, well, you know, they could have shelved it for any reason. Yeah, I mean, they they do that. If there's a changing of the guard, they, you know, whether it was a war or discovery thing just just happened. I we were working on a few things and we had a new assistant and I said, watch, I said, they're gonna kill this.

They're gonna kill it. They're gonna kill this. It's done, doing ADR. It's all animation's done, everything like that. Like that session, they're talking to the, yeah, so, you know, we're gonna finish it but we're not sure where its home is now. It's not gonna be on our stream.

I was like, and he looked at me like I was fucking some kind of... Like I was some kind of... It's like, no, I'm just... Like I was Nostradamus. Like, except good. How'd you know that? How'd you know? It's like, because I've seen it before, because the new male lion kills all the cubs.

It's just what's done. It's shelved, it's written off. You'll never see the light of day. And that's true, and that's possible. But what else will kill your show? A giant public spectacle where you sue everybody under the sun and a giant marketing company, Weber Sandwich,

for hundreds of millions of dollars. Oh, 100% that'll- For hurt feelings, and the whole internet is calling you a fucking cuck. That is, now maybe what you're saying is true. Yeah, but it's a possibility. But I would much rather believe that Maddox had in his hands his Hollywood dream, right of a cartoon and tossed it fucking destroyed it Yeah, if that's that is very likely everybody and he was sure would not nobody none of these Maddox None of these guys are I'm laying down right? They're not gonna say anything we all know shouldn't talk about lawsuits that you're invested in right how quickly because he looks like a psycho

What was that? What is the last thing you would do yeah if you have a giant opportunity of a oh this is a variety like all of these animators were people working for months yeah the last thing you do is act like a nutcase and pull over the worldwide web so all of this was happening while we were dealing with all of the lawsuit shit yeah all of these guys were making this dog shit but good passable content for a fucking psycho that was recording wooden lines for no reason. Like they could have hired anybody to do those lines. That's the dick blowing off news.

Now it could obviously it could be, well they just passed on it. They saw it and they thought it was shit, but I don't think so. It- I don't think you buy nine episodes of animation of all things. No, you're probably gonna do something with it. You're gonna monetize it in some way.

It's very likely that his fucking being a nutcase, because you know- Tainted. As soon as- Yeah, that's too much, man. The companies, they don't- You're calling teachers jobs and shit? being a nutcase because you know as soon as yeah that's too much man they don't they don't wait you're calling teachers jobs and shit? that's I don't know man

that's too much man they don't wait for it no uh you know no finding of all the facts no follow up it's like you know what the facts are worse every fact we found out was worse than the last I know but even say it exonerates the person, they will still have cut ties already.

You got a billboard charting album making fun of you. We're not fucking putting this shit out. No, it's done, it's done. Put it on Vimeo. Here, in five years, the rights will revert to you, you can do whatever you want with it, right? Yeah, yeah, I don't know how, right. When they revert, you know, yeah,

I guess they would have probably sold the rights, but. Now they could have, changing the guards, like you say, could have been that, and they just said, but I don't know, see, I guess he would have probably sold it now They could have changing the guards like you say could have been that yeah And they just say I don't know but see I don't know that I know I know this I know this yeah I know yeah Maddox doesn't know and I know that if that he had a choice to not Sue anybody yeah, and maybe things would have been different. That's what I fucking Yeah, that is that's that's from his point of view sitting there and thinking for six years yeah, if I had just not sued dick and Every button a stereo everybody else Maybe yeah, maybe yeah

It would have got released. Yeah, yeah, you're 100%. Maybe. You're 100%. That. Yeah. That's what I know. Yeah. And that is the greatest fucking feeling.

None of the, all this living great shit. Yeah. Oh, you know, yeah, I got it. You know, tons of money, big house, and I'm living, I'm happy. But now I know in his mind, he has to sit there and think, if I just didn't sue all those guys and sue Tick, maybe things would be different for me. Maybe I wouldn't be eating gummy bears,

streaming as a banana, and a roach and fruit fly infested shithole. Maybe I would have $20 million. And now he's- Maybe I would have seasons. Maybe I would be on season six of The Encyclopedia. Maybe I would have a whole fucking series like Dan Harmon,

a bunch of shows, but I chose to act like a fucking prick and sue everybody. Now I don't know that that caused it, I don't know that that caused it, but maybe it did. If I didn't, if I didn't, because that didn't work, so if I didn't, maybe things would have been different. That has to fucking haunt you, Maddox, until the day you fucking die! And he's... if I know him, the way you're saying it is how somebody with a sense of introspection sees it. Maybe he's never even thought that! So he's gonna be putting these out, knowing every episode of these that he puts out is gonna be, this could have been on every screen in America. Everybody would have remembered me.

They'd be like, oh Maddox, yeah! They'd be like, forgiving. We're making fun of his delivery, cause it sucks. But they would have said like, oh yeah, that's like, you know, that's like folksy and like, you know, he's trying. Like, I like that. I identify with that, cause maybe he's not doing a great job yeah I wouldn't do a great job yeah I identify with it yeah but you had but you got in your feelings yeah and you fucked it up right he couldn't you fucked everything has to do everything

right you have to do everything right to be a success in Hollywood in LA right and get lucky and get lucky and get lucky and get lucky people forget the luck part you got lucky there is a huge element of luck yeah I hope I'm getting the point across because I am when I when I put the timeline together I thought oh couple of months right yeah they start production on this. Here's your check. Oh, awesome. I'm gonna take this check and I'm gonna give it to an emissary of Satan. Yeah. To destroy my life. Yeah. chasing wrath and

envy and just hurt feelings. Yeah. I'm gonna take this and I'm gonna think of what my mother taught me and not my father. Yeah, and I'm gonna listen to that. I'm gonna fucking destroy my life. And my future. Yeah. Very like- It's okay, I can put it on YouTube in five years, you know? Where I've destroyed my YouTube channel by posting an obsessive documentary chopped up into 12 pieces.

Which got fucking taken down, right? Which got taken down for unknown reasons. I've destroyed my channel by posting shit that nobody wanted So this isn't gonna hit he can't help it He literally like he can't stop himself. It's like a compulsion like it's like he's not in control He's like he's living in fucking hell. Yeah, imagine Oh, no, I know your dream. Yeah on purpose not that it got taken from you. Right. You fucked it up.

And he will try and try to convince himself, convince himself that he still did the right thing. Yeah, I had to. Because he has to. Yeah. I had no choice. I had to shut him up. I had no choice. He's making fun of me too much. I had to shut him up.

I had no choice. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Money doesn't make my dick wet. So, you know, if you're on Maddox's stalker page, as you are, and every listener of the show is, just remember or think to yourself, have the nice thought that Maddox could have spent the last six years being a huge success. Yeah. And he fucked it up. He chose, it wasn't, the opportunity wasn't take the red pill or the blue pill

and he picked the wrong one. He went out of his way to hurt other people. And he fucking wily coyote-ed himself into the fucking dirt. I know, yeah, yeah. He doesn't ever see the big picture where it's like, hey, you know, publicity That's all and it way back then. I mean, it's the same as today

They totally care about how things look like you lose. I mean, it's psychotic. Yeah, because I mean right it's not like the shows a success and then somebody gets me toot or something like he essentially like me toot It's not like the show's a success and then somebody gets me-tude or something like he essentially like me-tude himself Like on on that level where it was like wait a minute stop production stop production. I'm a fucking nutcase All right, so now that we're done with this writers meeting I'm gonna go ahead and pretend to be a female journalist and email the biggest PR company in the world and Right tell them that one of their employees is a rapist. Is that cool? company in the world and tell them that one of their employees is a rapist. Is that cool? Do all of you people who are dedicating your time and money to this, do you think I should, is that respectful of your time and money and your life?

No. Yeah, you want to be associated with a guy like me, right? Yeah, that's cool, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm doing it because a guy's fucking my ex-girlfriend, who I love. It's like, he's putting all this out on himself. Both of them, by the way. Not just one, not just the girl, the guy too. I wanna fuck both of them.

What are we gonna find if we dig into this guy? You know, like, this is the guy he's telling us. It's not even like he's doing like a Chinese accent on a podcast, he's like doing, he's doing outlandish, cartoonishly criminal things. Cartoonishly villainous fucking criminality he's doing! That's pretty amazing. With no awareness!

That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, right. It's... Wow. I just haven't, and this, I got this before Riley got arrested. So I was like, oh, this is the greatest day of my fucking life. It's pretty amazing.

And then Riley got arrested. And I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Can I not go, can I not have something nice for like an hour and a half? You celebrate a win. Can I have a win? That is a- I found this and Vito calls me. He's like, hey, I don't think you should,

I don't think you should play that, the episodes that you found. I'm like, why do you think you should be telling me what to do at all? What are you, are you high? He's trying to save you from a lawsuit or something. I know. I'm fucking with him. I mean, I know you know what you're doing playing these.

I mean, you know, I... It's public. This is public stuff. I found it on Vimeo. It's public on Vimeo. It's still up. No, and that's... It's Verizon's property. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Verizon officially posted it? Um... I don't know. I'm not some kind of fucking copyright lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know anything. Yeah, I mean... clearly they... Whoever owns the content has the first right of... Of playing shit I found on the internet. I don't know. Maybe if I was on YouTube I'd be worried about it, but I'm not, cause... Yeah. No, you didn't leak this and our I didn't leak that shit I'm just I'm shocked if in the case people working on it were posting it to their own

That's you kids you cannot do that Yeah, well you cannot do that. That's a that's that's a career ender. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So I emailed one of the character designer. Yeah. You know me, I like to say hello to people. Yeah. You do, yeah. I like to reach out and touch people and say hi,

what's going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had a hidden video on her website from this, there's password protected. So the guys were like, oh yeah, we've been trying to like put in passwords. You get it? Oh, thank you. So I emailed her.

You want something? No, I'm good. Uh, I emailed her. I said, hey, I really love your character design. Um, can I have the password for that video? Oh, wow. You know? Yeah, I mean, you just came up right-

She sent me this giant email. She's like, I mean, you just came up right... She sent me this giant email. She's like, I saw your Twitter. I'm like terrified. Like, people are saying really mean stuff. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. You know, people are very upset because the guy that made this thing is like, you know,

he's calling a trans person a pedophile, you know. So people are really upset. Yeah. You know, I'm very popular. So, you know, you people are really upset. Yeah. I'm very popular, so you understand these sorts of things. But she said that this character right here was not modeled after anyone. So she coincidentally made you as like... In her mind, she's a graphic designer and a character designer.

She made an ultra-hunk that just happens to be you. That is hilarious. Right? I was gonna say, I was gonna say, well, like, this guy's better looking than me and you got more muscles than me. He's more muscular than you, but. It's very funny.

It looks exactly like you, though. I would have thought for sure that. That was based on you. Yes. That's what I thought, too. She said, I don't know who Sean is. Right. Like, I don't know what these guys are talking about.

I'm like, you're kidding me. You made Sean just like, you're in your mind, the most hunkiest guy. It doesn't fucking look like me. I'll tell you that. That is fucking hilarious. No one would ever say,

like, that's based off Doug. Right. And I'm like, that's so funny. Because like, I'm like, no, that wouldn't be me. You know, like, Yeah, you're like, ah, please, come on, you know. My muscles aren't that big. My ego is pretty well in check with like no that wouldn't be you know like I think you're like my ego

With like I don't the laughs exactly like you I don't think I'm the shit in case anybody you know what I mean That's me That's me! That's a cartoon version of me! That's the funniest thing. Hilarious. In your mind, like the ideal man just happens to look exactly like Sean? It's fucking hilarious. Okay. Well, you're a great character designer. I'm sorry people are being mean to you.

People are mean about the art and I wish they wouldn't be because these artists are very talented. Well, there's plenty of things to shit on. You know what I mean? Like you don't if you hate something you don't know all of it You know, but you don't have to hate every individual part of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You can say that like overall this thing sucks fucking moose dick. Yeah, moose dick moose dick. Yeah, exactly It's a big one too. But but you can say like well, that's well done. I mean, come on. They made the t They made the tits big. Well, what do you want? They could have made those tits smaller. That's pretty good. Uh-huh Go easy on the artists. That's all I'm asking

That's hilarious. Well, they're doing a work. They're doing a work for hire. Yeah, they're doing a yeah It's and it should have been a success. It should have been a huge success And then he went crazy. It would have been a huge success. Maddox would be, Maddox would have this house. There would have been, there would have been, Maddox would have this dog. There would have been eyeballs on it. If it, you know, it would be, it would have been easy to roll this into another thing. Wow. It should have been easy to roll this. Yeah, it could have been a deal. Dan Harmon or, yeah, I mean, just. A movie. Yeah. Or anything.

Yeah. Wow. Fucked it up. Yeah. We took your dream, Maddox. We took your dream, buddy. I took your dream. He couldn't help it.

He couldn't help himself. Couldn't help it. He, there are, There are people like that who are just complete slaves to their knee-jerk reactions. They just can't do it. It cuts so deep that they have to fucking lash out in crazy ways and there's no talking to them. You've got a big fucking show here, man. What are you doing? I thought I would just do a little lawsuit on the side. Don't do that.

No, that's... Don't do that. I thought I'd do a lawsuit and rape some kids. It's all intertwined. Is that fine? I've got a dog fighting ring. Don't do the dog fighting ring. People don't compartmentalize like that.

I mean, big companies where the bottom line is affected, they are not going to, this is bad press. It's companies who spending money, not all publicity is good publicity. Yeah. That's where it hits like, no, no, no, no, no, no. So, Osterios got his life fucked up, but Maddox lost worse, I think, in the end.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know what Asterios is doing, but Asterios, you have to remember, I was thinking about this the other day. Having your dream and losing it is one thing. Yeah. Almost having your dream and losing it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And surviving it and living with it every day. The people he has negatively impacted, like Asterios, have, I think, actual talent that is able to be monetized. Yeah, Asterios does. Asterios wasn't hired- Patreon.com slash Asterios. By accident, he wasn't hired by accident.

Very talented, very talented. Yeah, there's something there. He has a marketable skill, you know? And George doesn't have that. Doesn't have it. Well, this is good. It is. I mean, he can speak to retarded people.

Yeah. This is fucking retarded. It is. I mean, he wrote- Stupid people would love this shit. Yeah, I mean, I guess- I can't make shit for stupid people. I guess he's written a couple of things that got enough- Yeah, I guess that is-

I guess that is- It's a talent. A talent. But everything else is so fucked up that it's, that it's just crushed whatever good he could have done with it, I guess. I don't know. Um, okay, well that's the, that's the end of that one. I don't know, I guess I'll do. I, I, I hope it's a, I hope it's some nice closure for everyone, because he can't be any lower. You didn't, you didn't think he could be any lower

until you've learned that for the last six years, he really could have been a contender. Yeah. Right? Yeah. But instead of being a rich and famous cartoonist, he was making a movie, a three hour documentary about me. Yeah.

Right? He could have put all that time into making animated projects. He may have started the three hour documentary as soon as they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we're not, yeah. And they never tell you no either. They're just like, oh yeah, well, you know,

we'll see, we'll see next time. Well, and this could have been a thing too where they know very early, okay, this show's being shelved. We're going to finish it because that gets us, we spent, this is a loss. We already paid you. Yeah, and this is, right, right, right.

We already paid you. Everything's gonna, right. That's our relationship with the animators. Yep. We already paid them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, we saw the lawsuit. Oh no, yeah, we're not, I mean, we're not doing this shit. Yeah, yeah.

Let me see if I got any more. It's wild. Ah. That'll keep me going for a while. I'll bet. Let's see what else we got here. Untitled. Oh yeah, untitled. In-laws. Kids. If you want to hear more line reads from the world's worst actor. Do you know what I mean about how if this would have gone out people would have identified Maddox as like oh yeah he's not good and I like that. You know? Like Seinfeld was not a good actor.

No. Seinfeld. No. He was surrounded by... Yeah, he was great. It's like, oh, it's kind of like making it... Wow. It's kind of breaking the fourth wall and I like it. See, I always thought he worked in that show. Yeah.

Because like, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jason Alexander are really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Kramer's good in his own way. He's serious. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, okay. He's good, but Jerry's not an actor. In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide

to militarized drones, a sense of calmness for a man. Wait, what was? Yeah, militarized. Yeah. Let's hear that one again. This is, this was the take, too. In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to militarized drones. I said...

Militarized drones? Kids, in-laws, you don't have either of those. Right. What are you talking about? In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to... And here's ice clinking. That bugs me. Carbon mon...

Why'd they put ice in a glass for a shoot? Yeah. He's wearing a fez. Yeah. And a... Like a smoking jacket. Right. In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to militarized-

Carbon monoxide? Carbon monoxide? I'm fucking drunk and I don't fucking slur that bad. Yeah. Carbon monoxide. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide. Yeah, right. Yeah in-laws kids witches from carbon monoxide Carbon monoxide he got the end of the end blended Which I'm suffering from right now suffering from right now. The detector's going off. A witch cursed me with carbon monoxide. Uh... In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to... Carbon monoxide! Carbon monoxide. It's carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide, yeah. Oh, okay. Carbon monoxide. I didn't know that. Right. Is that what it is? Carbon monoxide? You pull the carb out of your bong and hit the monoxide. Carbaminoxide.

Apparently. Okay. In-laws. Kids. Witches. From Carbaminoxide to Militarized Drugs. I can't get past it. How much money did we give this guy? Uh, nah, but people will like it. Is this the guy with the lawsuit?

Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. It's done. It's done. Yeah. It's done. It's done Wow done Any little thing could set Could kill it anything. They're so scared that we've talked about that where if you get 50 letters they Extrapolate that into like five thousand people like it like, no, it's just fucking 50 whack jobs. There might be a few more people,

but they ain't gonna go, might be a few more people who disagree or something, but they ain't gonna go out of their way to make a big fucking stink about it. They got jobs. They got families. They got like bills to pay. It's like-

He's like a drunk, he's got a coke problem? No, he's suing everyone under the sun and everyone's making fun of him and calling him a cuck. And his girlfriend got a fucking restraining order taken out on her because she called and tried to get- He called an elementary school! He called three elementary schools!

He got busted impersonating a female reporter. Yeah, and he forced his girlfriend to call elementary schools to try and get his ex. Oh, oh, uh, well, yeah. Yeah. No. Right. That's done. Yeah. I would never have, thank god he sued somebody, I would never have known about this stuff. Well of course they, they'll read, they read his tweets, they look at his socials, they, I mean there's, of course they. Socials are impeccable. Remember? He never said anything. Remember that? I know he said, always said said I never spoke about this publicly because

Shit was happening. He was playing it real, but I guess it's the best it all came out in the lawsuit then I guess Yeah, but he counted that as I'm not saying anything. Yeah. Yeah, he's fucking Landau. Yeah my hero Yeah, my personal Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'll do anything for land out. Please reach out to me Yeah, and I'll I mean, you know, I'll put good vibes out there Maybe world's worst lawyer comm goes away if you call in and you know, it's not going together. No, it's still it's still up there I think let me see. Let me look world's worst lawyer Kevin Landau Obituary that'suary, oh no!

Mason City Maybe it is gone. Yeah, I would think that it's probably Thank thank God because Kevin Landau is my fucking hero. Yeah Okay, thank God good taste prevailed. Thank God. Thank God someone did something about that. Wow In-laws, kids, witches from carbon monoxide to militar drones, a sense of calmness for a man is fleeting. A sense of calmness? Yeah, calmness wasn't quite... Calmness? I think he's been drinking out of that cup. He's been drinking that ice? I guess, yeah.

Sippin' ice? In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to militarized drones, a sense of calmness for a man is fleeting, which is why man must seek refuge in a place he can call his own. A quiet place of reflection, where he can sip whiskey and contemplate revenge. A place where- Hahahaha! Which one were you doing? I was sipping whiskey for eight years.

By the way, it's the eighth anniversary of our eight-year anniversary of the show. Really? What? This week. This week? I think so. Hey, congratulations. That's amazing. That is amazing. The whiskey sipping has been happening here. The revenge contemplating is happening somewhere else.

Also the shooting their own dick off with their fucking gun in their belt. Has been happening over there. Sipping, uh, sipping fireball. Yeah. I think. Yeah, sure. You can scream expletives at the top of his lung while jerking off. A safe space.

Lung? Lung? Top of his lung while... Holy shit, buddy. What are we doing here? Come on. Yeah, uh... Is this the best take?

Kids. Witches. Yeah. From carbon monoxide to militarized drones. A sense of calmness for militarized drones. You kind of let it hang there. There's a lot of information to process. Yeah. From carbon monoxide to militarized drones. Right.

Yeah, he kind of ran that together afterwards. A sense of, right... Yeah, you have to have a little bit of a sense of, you know, like a sing-song thing. We're here today remembering a man's failed career. There's a, I've heard somebody, somebody, uh, orate a little bit. Somebody say when you're, when you're doing this kind of stuff, you have to, it helps to deliver it as if it's occurring to you as well. And that's... That's very hard about the show. Let it dawn on you. You know what you're gonna say.

So you don't need to like sound out the words. It's not a bad read. It's just, you need to let it occur. Just you give it a thought. That's the importance of having you in. Honestly, that's the important. That's the, I mean, the biggest thing you add to the show is that I have to explain it to you. Cause I know know it you know you have to tell it to you. Yeah. Yeah, yes you and you are the audience basically yes

And they say you know if you can if you can teach something you really understand it Yeah, you can explain it to where just one person just a guy off the street me. Yeah understands it It's it's like okay. You really know your way around it Yeah, explain it to one person because everyone listening at home is like just one person that you're explaining it to. Absolutely, you get that. Yeah, you're not talking to everyone.

That's a bad local commercial. I'm talking to everyone. You're talking to no one. In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to militarized drones, a sense of calmness for a man is fleeting, which is why man must seek refuge in a place he can call home. What does militarized drones have to do with carbon monoxide? I don't know.

How about women getting fat? That's uh... Yeah. From women getting fat to, you know, from getting... Well... This is like a man's calmness is being wrecked by your nagging... from your nagging wife From your nagging boss is he to gas prices right not fucking carbon Monarch

Carbam and oxide and militarized drones are these lines out of his are these lines out of his book or are they written? They might be I don't know that's a yeah I don't know I feel like I get there out of the alphabet of manliness every time you play this back. He gets drunker Sounds kids witches from carbon monoxide to militarize The sense of calmness for a man is fleeting which is why man must seek refuge in a place He can call his own a quiet place of reflection where he can sip whiskey and contemplate revenge a gay bar Is that what he's gonna is that what he's gonna talk about? I don't know a man could sit quietly and drink contemplate revenge at the gay bar

He's like the YMCA is that what he talked he's talking about. I guess we're doing a whole Maddox episode I don't give a fuck. Yeah It's big news. I mean, it's just big news, right? You fucking blew it Maddox It's funny. It sure seems like George you fucking retard Like your take on that is more likely than other reasons. Just because of the timing of it. And even if it's not 100% true, it's 1% true. And that's what sticks in your brain. Fuck, I could have fucking bid something, man.

Why wouldn't they want to put this out? Why wouldn't they want to finish it? It's perfect. It's trash. It's fucking perfect. You don't do want to finish it? It's perfect. It's trash. It's fucking perfect. You don't do projects to shelf them. I would be seething with rage for six years if this had come out and it would have, you know this would have been a success. And I would have been fucking seething about it.

Because I hate everything that's come out. I know, I know. Except Gary and his Demons. That's a great show. You gotta watch it. Gary and his Demons, that's a great show. You gotta watch it. Gary and his Demons? Really? Amazing, amazing show.

It's animated? Yeah. Animated poorly. Yeah. But it's so good. It's like the performance carries it. It's so good. Yeah, the poor animation thing is a style, you know?

Yeah. What's the Royal Crackers? What's that? Have you seen that show? No. It's about, it's his family that are, they run the Cracker Empire. It's called, they're called Royal Crackers, like they're literally crackers. Okay.

They have a cracker empire, but they're like, they're like kind of, they're like rich, they're like rich trash from Bakersfield. Like they live in a big mansion out there and stuff. Like, yeah, like show has its moments, but it's animated really poorly, you know, and that's just the style. I like that. Yeah, it's fine. You see a bunch of, you know, fucking key frames,

or just show me the key frames. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In-laws, kids, witches, from carbon monoxide to militarized drones, a sense of calmness for a man is fleeting, which is why man must seek refuge in a place he can call his own. A quiet place of reflection,

where he can sip whiskey and contemplate revenge. A place where he can scream expletives at the top of his lung while jerking off. Top of his lung while jerking off. You gotta believe these lines. Yeah. You don't just get- Where he can scream expletives.

Yeah, it's like he can't wait to get to the end of the line. Yeah. There's words in the middle. It's like they say, you know, my uncle used to say You know in music, you know, the rests are important to our music, too When the note is stopped is important Spaces means something music. They're part of the music. Yeah, right. Those rests are music too That's a good one.

Freaking scream expletives at the top. Scream expletives. Yeah. At the top of his lungs. Right. Right? Yeah. His lung while jerking off.

While jerking off. His lung. Maybe he had a problem. He only has one lung. He had to have one removed from some kind of plersy or something. I don't know. He lost his lung in a jerking off accident. It was filled with semen, had to be removed. A safe space for anger tugs.

M is for man cave. Wow, man. This is hot topical shit. So do you think they did C for copping a feel? I think they probably passed on that one. And people are going gonna be like, where's the C? Like, he's hosting the show. Ah! Ah, ah, ah.

What's more, what's more prescient than Mancaves, right? Yeah. When you think of Mancave, I think, when I think Mancave, I think of a woman posting pictures of a basement that she's bought a bunch of kitschy shit at TJ Maxx and pretends that she did it for her husband. Uncomfortable chairs, cheap bar type table,

and some shit, a big sign about like a family and how important it is that you're, and a big picture of her. I think of like the ultimate cuck den. When I think of man cave, that's what I think. Cuck den. Cuck den, right? What do you, when you hear man cave, what do you,

I think of, yeah, that's what I think of. I think of something that's been like destroyed and ruined and was gay when it started. I think of, I think of- And was like funny and like sarcastic when it started. Yeah. Like when Adam Carolla started it. Yeah, sure.

And then it became like ruined slowly. I think of something that, that a guy made for himself and the guys, but every, but every piece was run by his wife for approval. Yeah. That. Is this okay to go in here? Is this okay to go in here? Can I put this in here? Right. No, she's too naked. Right. Nah, get it out of here. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's about what I think.

Unlike the rest of the house, a man cave is a sanctuary for porno mags, cocktail tumblers, video games, and badass weapons that you are a master at using. Bro. Samurai suit or whatever. Porno mags? Yeah. What is this for? Dude, 2018? Like...

2018 is old. Yeah. 2025? Who the fuck's talking about porno mags? Right. I gotta go get my porno mags. Yeah. 2025? Who the fuck's talking about porno mags? Right. I gotta go get my porno mags. Right.

Am I at the creep store? Yeah. Yeah. How the fuck? I wouldn't even know where to get a porno mag. No, I know. My phone. Yeah.

Look at pornography. In 2018, that was still, that was exactly like it is now. Maddox is like, he's like fetishizing a wife that he doesn't have, you know? Yeah, sure. Like you can jack off all over your whole house. No woman cares what you do. You just live in squalor and shit. Why are you, are your fans doing, like,

are you and your fans imagining some sort of world where a woman might henpeck you? That's what you're aspiring to. That's your fantasy. Your fantasy is that a woman would care about you so much you would want to control your masturbating. It's fucking weird. Through your father's pornography.

Not yours, because you don't look at porno mags, but you think your dad did. Fucking weird, man. That rare collectible samurai armor that your wife doesn't want in the bedroom because it's haunted? Put it in the man cave. When a man lives on his own, he lives in a cramped bachelor pad full of all the things that he loves. When he moves in with a partner, everything he likes remains boxed up until the inevitable soul crushing breakup. And then she breaks the door. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etiquette don't apply. A man is allowed to... It's about how he lives now probably. Yeah, yeah. What are those rules? Run through them real fast.

No gummy bears after 10 p.m.? Right. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. No banana streaming after... no drinking while you're banana streaming. Right. That's a rule. That's a hygiene rule.

Right. ...poorly pee all over himself and leave food crumbs in his beard and nobody can say anything. This isn't America. This is Manistan. Your word is law. Hey guys, is it cool if my girlfriend hangs? See bro, that's you. I know, now it's a- You're fucking all over this cartoon. I know.

If anyone breaks the law, they lose their heads. What the fuck? Keep talking to a minimum. no more than three word sentences. You guys hungry? Yep. I'm in the mood for pizza. Who invited chatterbox? No guys, no, no, no, I mean,

unless your cave looks like the lair of a super villain, the bridge of a starship or a tiki room, it's not a real- They put, there's production in this. I mean, for, yeah. Okay, that's, that's enough of this shit. That's amazing. It's just kind of hitting me now, like, how much, how far this went to not be shown. Exactly. Nine episodes, 22 minutes.

Yeah, and they're all like this. They're, I mean... Most of them are better. Yeah. I mean, no, but it's, this is a lot, a lot of this is finished. Yeah. You know, I mean... Oh, what's this? Is this Riley News? No, I hope not. Uh, okay. Wow. Petty says, Dick is right. Gossip is against the eighth commandment. In fact, uh, uh, and then he has a Greek word. The root of devil literally means to slander. Yes, he's the prince of lies, right?

Pride. Oh, it's- Pride is Satan and the prince of lies is- Is that Bear, False Witness? Is that the one? Is that the eighth? I don't know, probably. Let's see.

Let's see. Eighth. Eighth. Commandment. Oh, and Flood- Bear, False Witness against Rue Schwerer. Publishes Oh, and Flood. They're a false witness against your shiver. Publishes these things. Flooded.

Flood the comments with this was dog shit. Make sure you get in there and say, why did you have to be in it? They could have hired somebody to do this. It can read. Like say really like accurate and cruel things when he posts them. Just for fun, just for laughs.

False witness, yes it is. Yeah, don't fucking lie on your neighbor. Don't lie, because it's so powerful. Like we've been trying to stop it for thousands of years and everyone still just fucking believes it. Isn't that crazy? The first thing out, and people don't, you know, the follow-up.

That guy was neglecting his kids. Yeah, yeah. Hey, remember, like, you know how we have that thing like especially now We just don't wait for the whole story to come out. It's you know we don't want to always like we don't want to Editorialize or anything, but now it's now we get so much information faster. Yeah, yeah, and then nobody is like well I'm not gonna. Nah. I don't believe that yeah, why well cuz you just told it to me Well, yeah, it's it's it's talking. It's crazy. Believe it. It's getting fucking wild What? Yeah, it's crazy.

You don't just believe it? It's getting fucking wild. Gifts but no message. Grace says, Hi, they didn't offer the option to send as a gift or I'm retarded and didn't see it after customizing. Anyway, just so you guys know who it's from, the black one is for Sean and the blue one is for Dick. It should be obvious once you open it.

I think I fucked I fuck this oh no there it is. Oh man today's a do-over. Yes I do here we go we go, here we go, here we go. Alright, open this one and see if that's the right one. Alright. Oh! It's the wrong one. Oh yeah? Well, unless you want me. I don't think... I don't know, I think that's kind of weird.

This is fucking amazing. Isn't that cool? Wow! Yeah, they're Yeti cups with our logos, I don't know. I think that's kind of weird. This is fucking amazing. Isn't that cool? Wow Yeah, they're Yeti cups with our logos like The Sean show and the dick. Oh my god. This is a this is such a fucking really cool Thank you very much and the Yeti means its quality. I know no that's what that's already You handed it to me like this. I was like, oh somebody got me a Yetii cup, that's cool. I didn't even know that my face was on it. That's very cool, thank you.

Thank you, who was that? Grace. Grace. Thank you very much. This is one of the coolest things I've ever gotten. You're very outdoorsy, so that should find some fun. I go outside. But no, I will use this all the time. You keep your com warm, you go to the bath house,

you fill it up with semen. And also, this is something that I will actually sort all the time. You keep your com warm, you go to the bath house, you fill it up with semen. And also, this is something that I will actually sort of brag about. Oh really? Yeah, probably. Like my face is on this? We were like, why's your face on that? A little bit, yeah. I didn't do it. Yeah, I know what you mean. I didn't do it. Somebody thinks I'm funny enough. It's subtle too. You know a girl did it because it's like nice and subtle, right?

It's really good. It's not like, like, hoary, like right in your... When guys do stuff, it's like dick right in your face, but this is like, oh, wow. People have to take a second look. Like, is that you on that? Is that your picture on that? This is really... I'm kind of blown away. This is really, really nice. Thank you very much. Thank you. Tom says, you're completely right about working out. Dear Dick, I'm fat. 5'4", 195 pounds.

I used to weigh 220. All right. Right direction. 5'4", 220. Yeah, it's big. I've seen a lot of women at that height and weight. Yeah. Too many.

Yeah. One would be too many, but I've seen probably millions. Yeah, five, four, I mean, it doesn't- Nashville. It doesn't take much. That should be their state motto. Five, four, 220. Put that on the license plate, right?

Five, four, 220. I've been generally depressed for as long as I can remember. Never really worked out. I started working out two months ago, and every time I miss a day or so of working out, I start to feel myself getting bummed out again, hoping that will go away as I keep losing weight. I mean, you're gonna feel better about yourself.

And you feel better about yourself just knowing that you're doing something for yourself. And that you could get out of it. I don't feel hopeless. I'm like, well, you know, I just, I didn't work out today. Feel bummed out, I feel shitty. You have to feel something different so you know that it's possible.

And if it's possible once, it's possible again. Do it again. Yeah, good. Hoping that will go away as I keep losing weight. I feel better about myself all this time. And I have even seen a change in how people interact with me. Because nobody wants a big fucking fat slab. Nobody wants to look at a big fucking fat, you know, person.

They just don't. Yeah, but it's also the way that you carry yourself. You carry, 100%. People pick up on those subtle little things. They go, he doesn't feel good about himself. It's nothing that, it's nothing overt. I don't like him. I don't be around this.

Yeah, it's just kind of, okay, I'm a little cautious with how I interact because- Guard's up. Yeah, yeah, sure. Meanwhile, this guy. Sure, so you'll carry yourself different. People will respond to you more positively. That's really, as far as I'm concerned, a fact. This guy, nobody would have their guard up around this guy.

Let me find the... This fucking guy. Look at this guy. That's so funny. Look at this guy who's unrelated to anybody on this guy. That's so funny. This guy who's unrelated to anybody on this show. That is so funny. Alright. I've changed my diet pretty drastically too.

I cut alcohol by 90 to 95%. That's a lot of calories that, you know. You can come, you can build it back up again once you once you've lost weight. I've been listening to the biggest problem in the Dick show since the beginning. Wow you consistently mentioned working out to guys who are not in the best mental state. I always thought every how every mental professional asks that question. I was doing it first though. I've been asked that question by every psychologist, psychiatrist, anybody dealing with my mental health? Why would they ask you that when you obviously work out?

Well, I mean, just, no, it's how often are you exercising? They don't know? That's, well, I don't know. A lot, obviously. I don't know. Get these fucking pants that I'm wearing, you should say. Yeah, yeah, right. Are you fucking blind?

But, no, they got- Where's your medical degree from? Ray Charles Institute of Psychology? But they want to know. They want to know. because it is important. Yeah. You consistently mentioned working out to guys who are not in the best mental state. I always thought it didn't make that big of a difference.

Of course it fucking does. But you and everyone else in my life were right. It's very hard though. Yeah, very hard to work out. Yeah. Especially when you're drinking as much as The self-confidence boost you get from that first time you look at yourself in the gym mirror and see the change can't be explained Oh, man, I got some I got serious obliques going on. Yeah, I was in Vegas. Yeah ordering a drink

Yeah, looking at the mirror. Yeah, do I fucking I have fucking abs? What the fuck is going on? I got distracted. Pilates and shit, right? This is fucking amazing. Yeah, Pilates will fucking get you cut. It's like Brad Pitt over here. What the fuck is going on? I slapped this black chick on the head.

I was like, look at this, look what's going on in the mirror here. Yeah, yeah. Like, mm. Mm-hmm. The self-confidence pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope you read this on the show,

just in case it inspires at least one other person to start going to the gym and taking their life more seriously. Yeah, I wish more people would work out. Yeah. You'd be happier. Yeah, yep. Sheep too.

It does not, there is no, it cannot be detrimental in any way. I mean, I... I mean, you know, except for this kind of way. Look, yeah, but again, you know, you work up to things. Yeah. At this point, I can't stop working out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm addicted to it. Yeah. Quick correction. You know, it's a funny thing. It's the one thing in my life that like I've, that I actually engage in like moderation with. You know what I mean? Like it's like-

Not too much and not at all. Yeah, not too much and not too little. It's always been consistent. Regularly, but not obsessed like, you know, I go like, fuck, I should have worked out today or something. But it's not like crazy. It's like, well, you know, I'll do it tomorrow. And I take days off and I don't like flip out about it.

You know, I mean, there's some, I've seen TV shows where it's like, I mean a guy's like, I gotta go on my lunch break. And he's working out in like a collared shirt and tight, because he's like obsessed. It's like literally, it's directly tied to his self-esteem and that's not good either.

Yeah, those guys are gay. But I mean, whatever's going on. But I mean. Not in a homosexual kind of way, but like. I see, you mean like the slang. I don't know, something. Something's not right I see. You mean like the slang for something. I don't know, something. Something's not right.

Quick correction on the Germany stabbing. Hey, Dick, you missed a pretty important detail in that story. The victims being stabbed were far-right journalists. Oh, really? That's why they were already a bunch of cops there, because they were there to harass the victims for being Nazis. That's why the cops watched that guy stab them for like 30 seconds before intervening because fuck them, they're Nazis.

Oh really? Is that true? According to this German blogger I read, tackling the victim instead of the stabber was a legitimate incompetence mistake and not fuck them they're not. The second line... I don't know. Okay. So cops were there because far right were there protesting immigration.

They wanted to make sure nothing got violent. Yeah, so an immigrant showed up to stab the far right people, and the cops, the immigrants start stabbing, and one of the far right guys tackled the immigrant, and then the cop tackled the far right guy, and the immigrant stabbed the cop. Right, he tackled the guy without, see at that point you can't, you shouldn't be thinking left and right, you should be thinking guy with a weapon, guy without a weapon You shit head what are you talking about?

Yeah There's there's you know prior you need to mentally prioritize You know what that you know maybe are the are the you know are the words a weapon or is the weapon a weapon? Yeah, you know I mean well you know these guys are saying some pretty wild stuff Are the thoughts a weapon or is the weapon a weapon? Yeah. You know? I mean... Well, you know, these guys are saying some pretty wild stuff. Are the thoughts a weapon or is the weapon a weapon? Yeah, you're dead, bro. I'm going with the immediate... The immediate danger there.

I guess you fucked up. Yeah. Offered assisted dying over cancer treatment. I would hope guys like Vito would take note of this. I think what angers me most about stories like this is I know the Canadian healthcare system is flying, come on, flying Q words to other countries and paying for surgeries. So they, okay, what is this? Let's just go. Don't put so many slurs in your emails.

Oh, yeah, it's hard to read. I gotta read, you know, I gotta parse it real time. Okay, yeah. Uh, okay. What is this? I was offered assisted dying. That was UnHerd. That's where all the hot stuff is, at unhered.com.

I was offered assisted dying over cancer treatment. Yeah. In Canada, a broken healthcare system is killing pa... Oh, she was... This chick was offered assisted dying. Right, it's like, do you want to try cancer, or cancer treatment, or maybe it's, we can try it, but it's terminal. Do you want to just die? Is that kind of what the-

I don't like the assisted dying shit. No? I don't think it should be criminalized. Like I don't think suicide should be criminalized. But I don't think that you need help. I mean- Like if you need to go to the doctor and do it- Well, you want to be sure though, people fuck up, you know? Yeah, I'm't think that You need help. I mean you like if you need to go to the doctor you want to be sure though people fuck up You know, yeah, I'm okay with that. Yeah, like if you can't do it yourself, then I don't want a doctor helping you Yeah, because I don't trust what if you're doctor. What if you're paralyzed?

If you can't talk someone into killing you yeah, you got I mean, I don't know I think it might be hard to talk somebody into into killing you. I please kill me You just yeah, but I just like your chair down And just go n-word n-word n-word n-word Doctor doing it man. I don't fucking I don't trust them. Yeah, they're too young. Yeah, too young It's got a doctor younger than you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want some fucking 30 year old doctor like, oh yeah, this woman came in, she wanted

to die. That's cool. That's not cool, man. What are you talking about? I'm not like hype. I'm not hype on life, but I don't want these cocksuckers helping you kill yourself. I'm okay with it. You're okay with the way they're doing it?

With, I mean, as an option? Yeah, I mean, I think it's the person's choice. Yeah, but they suggest it. That's what I don't like. If you give the doctor, like, oh yeah, you can kill people now. They're like, well, you know, you got this cancer or you can kill yourself. It's a medical, I guess they're saying it's a medical option. They're like, well, you know, you got this cancer or you can kill yourself. It's a medical, I guess, they're saying it's a medical option.

So as soon as you put the idea in their head, it's like now it's festering, right? I mean, it could be, it's like, but that's provided. I would prefer a doctor to say, don't kill yourself. Which is also why you need like a second and a third opinion. Is this really terminal? No one has time for that shit though.

That's not realistic. Second opinion, it's just like, I gotta go to work man. It used to be. Unfortunately, the system takes too long to go through. Yeah, it's not realistic. Yeah, it's meh. Yeah, it's the medical system. I don't want people being able to suggest suicide. Yeah, I mean, maybe they... Like, you trust that person.

...do they say, here's some literature... I don't want that. Yeah, I don't... I'm okay with more information. Like, I'm okay with... Yeah, that's bad. I don't... Everyone knows they can kill themselves at any point. They don't need a doctor going,

well, you know, you could always kill yourself. They know. They know. Everybody fucking knows. I don't know how it's put to them, you know? Well, imagine like the dumbest person you know. That's how they, you know? Well, imagine like the dumbest person you know. That's how they're gonna do it. Yeah. For the dumbest person you know.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll always reserve the right to check out. You know what I mean? Like, it's like- Well, yeah, but you don't need a doctor to tell you to do it. No. I've never needed a doctor to suggest that I could, you know, jump off a fucking bridge at any moment.

But yeah, but it's, you wanna be sure that, you know, jump off a fucking bridge at any moment. But, yeah, but it's... you wanna... you wanna be sure that, you know, that... I think you should have to do a little... That it works. That it works. You might fuck up. You might fuck up. You might... yeah. You might fuck up. It might not... that... I think it's even worse. Fucking blowing your brains out? You might fuck up? It's even worse. Yeah, people do.

How could it be worse than being dead? What are you talking about? What? Hahahaha! Your life is even shittier in your life. Well that's like, and that's part of it too, cause it's like, oh you know, you fucked it up, now you're like crippled. Like, well now you're saying that crippled people like, should die. Like that's way worse! Well they want, that person wanted to die to begin with.

Now they're crippled and they're like, oh yeah, now I love life now. Yeah, said no one ever. Oh, that's terrible though. I mean, I know there's people who are like, I'm so glad I didn't, yeah, I'm so glad that I failed. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. Nobody ever says they're so glad they did it.

I mean, I really don't want people to kill themselves. I've never read a suicide note and I was like, you nailed it. Yeah. Right. I've been like, eh, that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty good. Right. Yeah. I it's the last thing that I want people to do. You know, one is like a jejun suicide note. Yeah. Right. We're like, that doesn't really sum him up. Right, right.

I don't really feel it. Right. You know? That's the problem. He didn't quite sell it. I don't quite buy it. If doctors are gonna say it, I feel like a comedian should be in there too.

Yeah. Like to say like, hey, you know, what you're crying about is not really that bad. Sorry that everything sucks, but it's not. Well, when you're in it, there's no, see, that's the thing about being in that bad. Sorry that all, sorry that everything sucks, but it's not. Well when you're, yeah when you're in it there's no, see that's the thing about being in that state, there's no objectivity. For doctors they're like only, you know, well this is the thing. I was told, we gotta cut your penis off. Like no don't cut penises off at all. Never cut the penis off.

Well I mean I don't know the fucking, we've ever. Never cut the penis off. Well, I mean, I don't know the fucking uh We've been doing it fucking doctor said I should cut penis. Yeah. Oh, you mean like I mean trans shit Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well the doctor fucking people said I should be cutting penises off. So I Guess I am Okay Woman alert. Oh Okay. Uh, woman alert. Oh.

Woman alert. What time is it? Oh shit, it's almost 2. Man, poor Riley. Is still in jail right now. It's wild. I don't know how he got arrested. Like, what's the- Is Eric's bitch ass called the police? He'll have to call in, right?

I mean, but I mean, like, did he re- did they ask him to leave or something? And he refused to leave? No, no, no, no, I mean, but I mean, like, did he re, did they ask him to leave or something and he refused to leave? So he got- No, no, no, no, no, I watched, I watched the whole thing. Yeah, see, I don't know. The mall cops or the manager of the bar said he had to like stand in the parking lot. Yeah.

And he's like, okay. Right. And then the cops came and they said nothing was wrong. And then other cops came and said, you're fucking under arrest. What the fuck? Cause you got a warrant for stalking in Denton. A warrant.

So a judge signed a warrant? Yeah, cause Eric Jolies sucked a judge's cock and got this warrant. That's what I heard. What was that for stalking? Like for- Or his wife did, I don't know. For going to-

It's hard to tell. For that one thing where he showed up when was nobody there and he taped the thing on the door? Yeah, he taped 20 bucks on to Eric July's warehouse. And that's... okay. And these guys are like, oh yeah, we're all about free speed. We hate cancel culture. You guys are sending a guy to fucking the person for standing in a parking lot. Well, because he did the thing that we're okay with cancel culture for.

Yeah. That's the, you know, cause... Well, he's making jokes at us. We're the ones that make jokes. Yeah. Don't you guys understand? We with cancel culture for. Yeah. That's the, you know, cause it's- Well, he's making jokes at us. We're the ones that makes jokes. Don't you guys understand? We're the cool guys. You guys aren't cool. Fucking losers.

You're fucking nerds. You're obsessed about like Star Wars. You're total fucking losers. All right. You wish you were famous. That's why you're so obsessed with this Hollywood shit. Cause you wish you were fucking famous. Yazoon. It's just weird. Yazoonian. Hey Dick and John. That's why you're so obsessed with this Hollywood shit because you wish you were fucking famous Yeah, zoom

It's just weird union. Hey dick and John. Uh-huh. The other day There's a woman alert my colleague returned from a meeting with a Diet Coke. Yeah, see how I'm pausing between words Yes, between ideas you're setting up your allowing the listener to to to picture the scenario right in their mind It yeah, it takes a second have to do that You're allowing the listener to picture the scenario in their mind. It takes a second. You have to do that. Yeah, came back in, I'm picturing walking in from like the other room to a room full of like maybe

cubicles or desks and holding a Diet Coke. With a Diet Coke. Yes. Do you drink this? She asked, offering it to me. Yeah. You don't want it? I questioned.

She shrugged nonchalant. A presenter fainted. So I ran to 7-Eleven to get her a drink. She's diabetic. She was genuinely baffled why the fainting diabetic didn't want a sugar-free Diet Coke. And I didn't have the will to explain. Longtime. I love the show fuck you dick smooches for Sean Yeah, I see this diet coke cuz the blood sugar crashed and diabetic presenter fainted and I bought her this

You know I ran to 7-eleven and got her a diet coke diet coke and ungrateful bitch didn't want it Yeah, why'd you get the diet coke? Well? She's 300 pounds It's type 2 diabetes diet coke. Well, she's 300 pounds. It's type 2 diabetes. Obviously. Clearly she's gonna want the diet coke. Why'd you do anything today? Why didn't you just do nothing? Yeah. You know? Uh... Funny. Okay, we got a fat watch. Fat watch. Today in fat news. Fat Watch, today in Fat News. Da da da da da da da da. Reverend Scott sent me a picture. He was with his daughter at a Taylor Swift impersonator concert.

Really? Taylor Swift impersonator? That's fucking big time. All these little girls dance like going ape shit, right? For fake Taylor Swift. Fake Taylor Swift. Yeah. Ooh. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. You know, for about that time I realized

I was so glad I don't have kids. Call up Canada's assisted suicide number, right? What is this? Did I get the wrong one? Da da da da da da da da da da da da. Okay. Did I get the wrong one? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da slams airport staff. Slams into airport staff. Like Yokozuna. Hahaha. For ignoring her after she got stuck in a revolving door. Oh man.

Are you fucking serious? The mental picture. What would you do? If I saw a fat woman stuck in a revolving door, I would just, I would start punching, you know? Oh yeah. Dude, that's come on like. Wup, wup, wup. I would take my belt you know? Oh yeah. Dude, that's come on like. Wup, wup, wup.

I would take my belt off and start whipping her. Yee-haw, yee-haw! Wahoo, wahoo! Plus size traveler influencer J. Lynn Chaney got stuck in a revolving door. Wow, I didn't even know you could do that. I don't know. Is the exit smaller than the entrance? How the fuck do you get stuck?

Every revolving door that I've seen was pretty big. There's a lot of space between the... Like New York revolving doors, like 50 people go in and out, and Wall Street, you know? Like Rush Hour, and this fucking behemoth thumbers over and gets stuck. Like multiple people snorlax Multiple people can fit in each like segment of the revolving door. Yeah. Yeah section Chaney criticized the airport staff at O'Hare. Yeah, Chicago O'Hare. She claims did not help her

How the fuck do you help somebody navigate a revolving door? I don't know. I don't know if a revolving door breaks down I think it's beyond the A revolving door. I don't know, I don't know. If a revolving door breaks down, I think it's beyond the expertise of anybody. Did it stop the, like, I mean, I'm trying to- What do you do? You got a whipper, right? How'd she get stuck in the revolving, like caught in between the door turning

and like the exit or what? I don't know. I guess I have to see this revolving door. Yeah, plus size traveler influencer slammed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got that. Oh, this is this revolving door. Yeah, plus size traveler influencer slammed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got that. Oh, this is the revolving door? What? Okay, let's see here.

Oh, mama! So this is the same woman we've seen on a bunch of these things. Oh yeah, she's just doing it for attention. I think, right? She seems to be everywhere. Ha, cause she's so fat Why would you not have that bathing suit picture? Oh, yeah, yeah, we've seen her yeah, she got stuck in a revolving She uses oxygen on the no-fly list. How come Nick Fuentes is on the no-fly list, but this

Monster is is not. Sounds dangerous. All right. Wow. I don't know. I don't see the door. Stuck in the revolving... Does she mean...

She doesn't mean like a turnstile, right? You don't have those at airports ever, do they? Do they have revolving... They do have revolving doors at O'Hare. Do they? Do they have revolving? They do have revolving doors at O'Hare. Do they? I think so. I don't know if I've ever been to O'Hare. Like I think I've landed.

I don't think we got off the plane. Yeah, we did a show there. Or we went to Midway, didn't we? Oh, did we? I think so. I don't even, I don't know. Fat Watch, Gentlemen Sausage, hideous fat woman pulls all this effort, puts all this effort into living out a fantasy of at least being... Okay, that's... again, that's too much.

Let's see here. Gentleman... Okay. What do you got here, gentlemen? Uh... The new Kansas City Chiefs cheerleader outfits designed by Harrison... Butker? I don't know, it doesn't look so bad. Uh...

That's not that big. I mean that's not a cheerleader. Right. Back in the 90s we would have considered that morbidly open. Yes, yeah that's right. You know, today that's a slim woman. Yeah, that right today. That's a slim woman. Yeah, that's right Okay dermalerm says I

Know I think I read that one already advice for the show. Hey dick. I destroyed my brain with acid Yeah, I'm writing for some advice on how to be normal after destroying my brain with drugs Okay, some background info. Okay. Maybe're just, maybe you activated it, you know? Well, I mean, he's writing this show for advice on how to be normal after destroying your brain with drugs. Pussy. I don't know if that's... You're not in jail like Riley or Nick. Riley Hurnick. Yeah. I'm 21 years old, Irish,

living and learning a trade in Germany. Cause you did, you weren't drinking. That's why Irish people can't do drugs. I grew up internationally, multiple countries, continents, 4.1 inches flaccid, uncut. Wow. Wait, he just puts that right after where he grew up? For.1?

He really did destroy his brain. How do you get a.1 on a... How do you measure a.1 inches? Is he talking... You ever use a measuring tape? Is he using metric? What's.1 centimeters? Yeah, okay. So you're obviously not Irish. You use centimeters.

I don't know. What's 4.1 inches in centimeters Ten you got to say that yeah, I don't know what he's doing. That's a very very odd sentence structure Yeah, I grew up internationally multiple countries multiple continents 4.1 flaccid like A little bit over. But I mean, just what a weird thing to put at the end of that sentence. Well, he's on acid.

Over the last year, I've reached my limit in terms of loneliness. Oh, wow. I don't have any friends or social life beyond interactions with colleagues. Every social interaction I manage to get in ends with me either spurging out or not being able to speak and leaving

I mean that's I feel bad. That's you know, very identifiable buddy. Well, don't worry so much about it. Well Yeah, but you know, I can't make a connection with people He's like the Kool-Aid man. Ah! Right? It's like in reverse. I mean, I wonder, something tells me that he's kind of always been like that, you know? Every social interaction I manage to get in ends with me either spurging out. It doesn't define what spurring out could mean a lot of things. Yeah, I know.

Or not being able to speak and leaving. It's a combination of fear about how people will see what I say, not knowing what to say and going over things I say again and again in my head until I opt just not to speak at all. Well, don't do acid if that's your problem. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause you're describing acid. Does he think that he's- Don't do more of that. That he wasn't like that before, before you know or something like oh man on acid somebody how somebody goes how are you and you're there three hours later yeah good yeah going with good yeah there's nobody here man I hate being like this I've been going out of my way to get myself into more social situation with no improvements well you have, you have to figure out how to talk to people.

Yeah. People want to hear shit about, like, how your day was. How's your day? What's your job? How do you like work? Small talk. Yeah. How's the weather?

Oh man, this heat. Yeah, you can- You know, the thing about this heat is so hot. You can have low stakes conversations, like I call them. Not every conversation is a chance for you to connect with somebody and be a lifetime friend. Right. Right.

How you doing? But it's practice. Yeah. You don't try to fuck everyone you talk to. You know? How you doing? Yeah. Oh, yeah?

Well, this weather's crazy. No ulterior motive other than just BSing. Some people, people in general have a compulsion to talk to other people that some of us don't understand. Yeah, people are uncomfortable with silence. Yeah. But it's like he- And they need it.

It's like a circuit that's always, it's like humanity is like just a big circuit that's always firing and communicating nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a test to see that it's still working. For the most part, yeah. How you doing? Oh, you drive here today?

Yeah. Traffic's crazy, right? Right. These gas prices are nuts. Yeah. Oh man, that's nuts. And you never know where that conversation will, you know, will go to. You have to have that.

You can't skip it. Right. You can't skip right to having a good thing to say. Right. Right? Right. Because people don't trust you right away. You gotta prove that you could not... You gotta prove that you could talk about totally unimportant horse shit. It sets in their mind that like, oh this person is normal. Yeah. Yeah.

Homeless people can't do that. Right. Yeah. A guy that's trying to rape you is not gonna go, yeah what kind of car you got? Yeah. Oh yeah that's cool. I'd have been here is not gonna go. Yeah, what kind of car you got? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's cool I'd have been here sooner, but Traffic, you know, that's crazy. Yeah 1 30 a.m. Who'd have thought they'd be backed up to fucking talk to my mom today

Yeah, you know, yeah, she's good. Yeah. Yeah, how's your where's your folks? How are they? Yeah, they're good. Oh, that's good Yeah, yeah, I don't necessarily mean you any harm, right? You don't say that but that's what you're saying Yeah, right, right. I don't necessarily mean you any harm. Right. You don't say that, but that's what you're saying. Yeah. Right? I don't actively mean you harm right now. Yeah. You? Yeah, I don't mean you, I don't actively mean you harm.

Okay. Right. Good. Good talk. Good talk. I hate being like this. I believe you. Going out of my way to get myself

into more social situations with no improvements. Well, you know, that's not gonna help. Clearly it's not helping. Well- It's like comedians that just try to go up and up and up. And it's like, yeah, you're burning yourself out. But that is, that does tell me that he like is fighting. You know, like that's like, because he could do like,

fuck it, I don't see the point. I don't even, I'm not even trying to talk to people anymore because I, that means means that just means to me That he has some kind of hope which is you want to get yourself out there too much It's not all about you getting a connection because that's just you other people just want to kind of exist. Yeah, I Try to maintain some hobbies, but the majority of my time is spent with a feeling of dread Uh-huh, not knowing what to do. Uh-huh.

Oh, you're 21? That will... That'll get better, and then it'll get much, much worse. It'll get worse in a way that you can't even imagine. You know, that's uh... It'll start at about 39, you'll start feeling... You'll really know the face of dread. You'll have thought of dread as a concept, like a color,

but then you'll see right in its fucking eyes, and it will get closer and closer and closer until you can't see anything else. Uh... Ha ha ha! It's weird the way your life works as you age. And then you'll start wondering, oh shit, I hope this doesn't just keep going this way.

I hope it, I mean 60 year olds, they seem pretty happy, so this must just, this must even out, right? It's just one of those, it's an ebb and flow thing, I think. Yeah, but the majority of my time is spent feeling with a feeling of dread, not knowing what to do, even regarding basic tasks like eating, getting haircuts and so on. Yeah, that's sounds like depression.

You got to work out, let's get the workouts going. Well, I don't want to try and shift blame. I can't help but attribute this to a year-long stint when I was 19, where I regularly took high doses of acid. It's not the acid problem. I mean, there are cases where acid can unlock some mental illness. You know, that kind of state. This is not mentally ill. This is fucking normal. This is totally normal.

Well, I mean, it sounds depressed and stuff, but it sounds- The punctuation is too good for mental illness. Yeah, I don't know that the acid would do the kind of the anti-soul or the avoidant kind of personality type thing or the anxious personality type thing that he seems to sort of be exhibiting. I've done a lot of acid. I know guys that do a lot of acid.

Yeah, didn't he say that he's been this way ever since? Was this the one where he said he's been depressed ever since he can remember? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure. No, this is much more likely a life long depression Yeah, you're a normal this stint started off for fun. I was your typical pseudo enlightened Rogan listener, but it ended poorly Specifically the last two trips I took the first of the two ended with me cutting the word hate into my leg

Wow, and then beating off with the blood. Okay, I take that back Wow Well, I mean this I mean that some serious stuff going on here sound fun when you're on acid It's okay. You don't need to you don't need to internalize everything you did on drugs Then for the last trip I took I dosed far too much about a hundred microgram a thousand micrograms and spent 18 hours Experiencing overwhelming visual and auditory hallucinations Throughout which I felt a level of fear which I did not know was possible. Yeah Wow He doesn't have a mortgage. No one with a you know, no one with a mortgage would say something Following this I became taking that much acid to get relief. Yeah, really?

Oh, I'm so afraid at least they don't want money. When is this fucking arm kicking in? Uhhh, um... Yeah. Following this, I became an emotional wreck for a few days and had to move back in with my parents. Oh, I mean, I'm sure that can... you know, I mean... Yeah, that was a heavy thing to come out of, I'm sure. Since then, I have never felt the same. My social skills have been in a downward spiral since.

In retrospect, I should have known this would happen. Considering a family history of bipolar schizo, a medical history of depression and self-harm, probably jacking off at the blood is not... I would say, I mean, just from what little I know about that kind of stuff, like the family history of schizophrenia is a big red flag to not do something like that. Not do acid? Yes.

Mmm. Uh, but fuck it, it's too late now. I still have a face tingling. I still have a face tingling and anxious feeling. As I have just done a microdose 24-7. Face tingling? I don't have a face tingling? I don't know about face tingling. I don't know.

I don't think so. My ability to maintain personal relationships has deteriorated while my desire for them has only grown. I don't know how to come back from this. I just want to be normal. Well, you have to act normal. It's very simple. Well, it seems like he can't do it.

Dogs can do it. Like he gets in situations that he can't. You have to practice. Maybe there's like an overwhelming fear that comes and he's just, I gotta get out of here. The fear comes from people, from you wanting people to know who you are. You just have to forget.

You have to stop wanting that and just be what people want you to be. Hi, how are you? How was your day? Tell me something about you. It's a place to start. Yeah. Yeah, it's...

The fear comes from desire. Yeah, sure. You want this to be fixed and it's not, but you gotta pretend like it is. My ability made it here. I don't know how to come beyond this is beyond my area of good understanding For what kind of what kind of help to get I just want to be normal I don't even care about getting pussy well, but if anybody asks you how do you care about getting pussy? You say yeah, of course. Yeah, all right. Love pussy.

Yeah. Man, I love sex. Right. And sex and like, you know, coming. Yeah. Right? Right, right. I just wanna not be alone.

It's hard not to see a future where I'm not alone. Yeah. What do? Go fuck yourself. Dick, love you, Sean. Please do a Germany show. From Dancer. I would love to go to Germany. Again.

Yeah. That'd be great. Yeah, you just got to fake it, you know. Not fake it till you make it. Just learn how to fake it. Everyone is. Fucking everyone is. Well, everybody... It's very easy for some people and it's not for others. Yeah, everyone's faking it

Yeah, I mean I would I would say try to figure out how to deal with that lifelong depression Mm-hmm that would be you know let and the other things may kind of work themselves out And I you know I don't know how to tell you how to how you. You're a young guy. The most important thing you could do is learn how to be normal. Try to fix it. Try to get better now. Worry about the depression later. I would say, I think worry about the depression now.

Nah, you can't fix that shit. But I think he's been- Worry about- Well, you can- Worry about establishing connections with people now. Well, you can help the depression in a variety of ways, but you're like, I mean, that's the... Acid.

But the trillion dollar question is, can depression be cured? You know, and that's... Research is on- Illegal. Is ongoing to that. All the ways we know they're cured. So, it's, you know, there's, yeah, there's all kinds of it's science is advancing

Have a small conversation with somebody rapidly and that conversation with somebody, you know, yeah. Yeah. I mean man, it's yeah Don't don't see people as ways to validate yourself It seems like interact with them. It just seems like because I recognize that that's what that's life I get asked the question. how long have you been depressed? My first thought. It's as far back as I can remember. I never felt right. I never felt okay.

I never felt like I saw the other kids. They were having a blast, like really enjoying themselves on the plane. And I wanted to be anywhere else. But if I was asked to participate, I would always do it out of like a sense of, not because I wanted to, because I was like supposed to. Like that was the thing.

Playing with kids? Yeah, I mean, or yeah, whatever. How old were you, like 25? What are you? Yeah, 30, 31. Yeah, exactly. And they say, where's that weird guy who wants to play kickball?

But yeah. Dominating. Yeah, no, just not. Yeah, exactly. Just kicking a red, you haven just not yeah exactly just kicking a red you haven't lived till you've kicked a red rubber ball right now right in a four-year-old's face it's like an anime yeah right they just fall over and yeah the crying and say that shit when you meet people you can't say that shit right away you got to talk about know, the weather and stuff.

Like we're talking about kicking kids in the head with kickballs. No, you- That's like a, that's like a 10th grade conversation. That's somebody who knows your humor. Yeah, you gotta ease, you gotta ease people into it. Right. And they're not gonna like you. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta be able to talk to people. Yeah. Even a tiny little interaction can be rewarding. It can be, it can be, but the, the oppression still, you got to be able to talk to people. Yeah, even a tiny little interaction can be rewarding. It can be it can be but the the oppression still you can go Painting for gold right? That went well that went well, but it won't go well the next time. Yeah, it won't go well again Like that's the most I can get out of you Interaction that will still keep you from doing it even if even if yeah, even if you if you were objective about it You go. Well, not everything is shit. Not everything I try turns to shit.

But in your mind, you go, yeah, but that was lucky. Yeah, they felt sorry for you. So they're gonna say that you did this good. They're gonna, you'd never believe it. See, I think working on the social skills is more important than the depression because the depression, your mental state will mellow out as you get older,

but the social skills you need all the time well you do they can only help you like especially in like a business and money like I think money and working out is like oh it's like look there's a 51% 90% it's part of it it's all part it's all part of it yeah oh Tony's what is this one oh shit okay you want to hop on a stream alright everybody this is big. This has been the dick show patreon.com slash the dick show I'll see you next Tuesday That was a good show yeah, very very interesting lively a Lot of stuff to talk about that's wild that he had somebody put that much money into a show.

I mean they've made a professional production. That's huge man. That's a huge win. That was a huge win for him. And he just got the rights back I'm assuming. Yeah because they're worthless. Why wouldn't he have put it out, you know, if he he obviously Yeah, that's how it works five years or seven years. Whatever it was Wow It's gonna be it's pathetic now It's like, you know, what is the purpose of this? He's just kind of like, last dying gasps, you know? Like a dying star.

Was this before? What year did he disavow the alphabet of manliness? That was before, that was like 2017. Oh, so he did- That was right away. Oh, okay. Because we were busting his balls about a cop of feel. Right. Wow, okay. So we're busting his balls about a pop of feel. Right.

Okay. Hey, Jay K Sean. I'm a Rhinestone Cowboy. I have a fun one for you. It makes me race or fat women, fat fishing on dating apps. And I'm down to the point now where I'll go on the date and I'm like, I'm rude, but I'm not rude enough to just leave the date and go to them, which need to start doing but I'll go out there with a chain and I'm like, oh she's lost batter So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna tell her I pick a tribute around a podcast that makes fun of fat women Yes, and I'm just gonna go off that and that's what I started to do And then if I really want them to leave I'll just start artistically explaining just like bullshit to them of like how something's manufactured Or how Warhammer works or how Warhammer works or how Warhammer, women love that. Or then if that really doesn't set them off, I'll just say I'm voting for Trump because it's hilarious because it pisses people like you off.

And you know what, it's been great. Girls have like watched me and I don't have to deal with them anymore. It's been pretty amazing. Definitely a thing though that like I'm making sure contributor on a podcast that makes fun of Fat Women. Yeah, Rhinestone Cowboy is a very prolific contributor to the show. Gotcha. He always sends in great Fat Watch stuff. I know the name. You know the name. Of course. We all know the name. Now we can pair the voice with it.

Okay, good. Absolutely. He's one of our most valued Fat Watch contributors, specifically for Fat Watch. Very good. Definitely use that I don't like hearing that this that this kid is in pain you know well yeah it's a rough place to be he's blaming acid for stuff that's normal to feel I mean he may feel you know I don't know not the jacking off well acid will make you jack off I'll be honest I mean you jack off blood and

then you're like oh fuck I'm not high anymore. Is it in me? Like yeah, that's- Says he feels different, has a history of schizophrenia. But see, my point is- Acid is bad for- You shouldn't be doing that. My point is he's felt bad his whole life.

Yeah. You know, that's, yeah. Yeah, my point is, forget the acid, like you're still feeling bad. Well, no, I know. The acid didn't do that. Right, I mean- The acid will't do that. Right, I mean, I don't think that it helped. The acid will make you disassociate with your flesh.

Yep, yep. Yeah, acid, ketamine, like stuff, like disassociative. Acid is way, way worse than ketamine. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, Dick. What's up? Sean. Yo.

Love you guys. Been watching the show for a long time. Thank you. You know what? I had a bit of booze in me and I thought, you know what? I'm going to call them the show for the first time. It's like an empty house. Yeah.

Have you ever had the hiccups? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And have you ever been able to get rid of them? for My entire life. That's my biggest fear My hiccup there are people I think I've forever get rid of them because I I remember hearing that is your gauge That getting my eye torn on where oh, yeah

That's about your diaphragm was not in line with your lungs or something like that And it's like in your brain needs to reset. So I'm like, oh You got to reset your brain Shawn come on come on. I'm sober come on Listening whenever I get the hiccups for my whole life, whenever I get the hiccups, I just zone, I'm in the zone. Okay. You know, in and zone in. After 10 seconds, 15 seconds, no more hiccups. It's got to cure.

And I was wondering, have y'all ever had that? I've talked to all my friends and family. You know? Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever had that? The hiccups? Yeah, I'll talk to all my friends and family, you know? Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever had that? The hiccups? Yeah, I have. You have?

Yeah. You drink hot sauce? I have not tried that. Give it a shot. Sure. This guy. One more. He could be onto something.

Ooh, wife mulch. That's gotta be good. Oh boy. I got a woman alert. Go ahead, play the thing. Woman alert. Woman alert. woman alert. Go ahead, play the thing. Woman alert. Woman alert. My wife went and picked up some mulch.

Uh huh. And then started putting it down. I thought he made his wife into mulch. I realized it had been taking her an extremely long time. And I said, I already noticed that the tailgate of the truck was still up. I said, why didn't you drop the tailgate? Curious, yeah up. I said, why didn't you drop the tailgate?

Curious, yeah. And she said, oh, I thought it was gonna spill out everywhere. It's not water. Yeah. Yeah, so. Yeah, that happened. Your wife's shoveling mulch around the yard? What are you doing?

Like getting up on the bumper, like over the tailgate to. Scooping it out. Yeah. Like she's bailing out a canoe. Yeah. All right. Well, okay. Maybe one more. All right. Hey, Dick, I'm sure you've seen it, but just in case you have not seen it, there has been a major event in fat news. news please just Google miss Alabama 2024 and then proceed to kill yourself like I'm about to go fuck yourself no what the fuck miss Alabama to two thousand and twenty four pounds that's what he's talking about look at this Oh did plus size was a plus size model really win or was okay? What size which one this one's plus size? What is this one? That's multiplication size

a storm of controversy erupted a storm a tsunami on social media following the crowning of Sarah... Millikan? Millil- Millilikin. Oh. What does that say?

No, it's Millikin. No, there's another I in there. Millil- Millikin. Millil- Millikin. Okay. A plus-size model. No, fuck off. That's not a plus-size model. As Miss Alabama 2024 outrage quickly spread among you-

Okay. Uh... A plus-size model wins... Miss... Something. No, fuck off. And that chick is like, get the fuck out of here Turn around like you're on a projector is they couldn't have the people couldn't even they had to zoom out

You know you can only it's like a concert when you can only see what's going on on the big on the jumbotron behind them Are you fucking kidding me man she looks she walks like Otho from Beetlejuice. Oh, the sash is, she was hanged on the sash. Oh my God, yeah. Look at this, she's putting it on. I believe that's a lap band. She's putting, do you have a bigger sash for me? Yeah. Can we perhaps have a longer name?

It's like the extender seat belt for the plane. You have an extender Yeah, extended sash. Does anyone have a pair of scissors this stache? I'm like a like a sea turtle that got caught on a fucking six-pack ring. Is this thing made out of recycled cardboard, please? Get the fuck out of here. Why is this? Yeah, and then they they so they have a oh I see they have It's like it's like the portrait of Dorian Gray. They crown a hot woman Yeah, and then they crown a big fat monster for like, for everybody else. And you get to pick your own. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Bro, it's like a necklace that she's wearing. A sash. Oh, the crown they had to bring in on that thing that brings the space shuttle to launch. Ahahaha! They had to wheel that shit in on the crawler. It took seven hours to get the crown in. This isn't even a judge. It's two forklifts in a woman's suit that's putting the crown on. Isn't that crazy? They have to play deep bass.

Usually they play like nice music when you win, but they have to play deep bass so she can feel it, you know? Like a brontosaurus. Yeah. You know? Okay. Goodbye, everyone. See ya.

Thank you. What a fucking monster.