The Dick Show - Episode 415 - Dick on Rain Man Flag Laws

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Eric July siccs the cops on Mint Salad, Alex Jones' studio is plundered by the feds, more aircraft problems, children deface a gay Pride flag with motorized hate scooters, Maddox takes a compliment, "not possible to cut defense costs", drafting women, and a man escapes some prostitutes; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Who's gonna be next, Sean? Ummm... What do you think is gonna be next? Who's going to be next? Who's next? I don't know. Goldberg would say, who's next? Goldberg? The wrestler? He said that?

I think he did. He was on that streak where he just won every time. Oh really? Yeah. Huh. Goldberg. Who's next? I remember Goldberg, but I don't- He would effortlessly beat people. I didn't really- Is this working?

I wasn't watching around that time. Cause you were an adult? Yeah. Man? Yeah. Why would you watch wrestling when you can watch podcasting? Then you don't have to be jealous of anyone's body. You know?

Good point. Good point. I don't know who's gonna be next. Is this fucking working? Let's see here. Who's next? I got my theories. You do? Yeah, I got my theories of who's next.

Maybe it will be Vito. There we go. See? Well, who's latest? Who's latest? See, these are my questions because when I come in here and I don't know anything about what's going on, which is why it's fun. I don't know why the sound isn't working on Vimeo, but whatever. I hope it straightens itself out.

Oh, it's because of this little... There we go. You mean you don't know what's happened in the last... Sometimes it's 24, 48 hours. Oh, I know. Sometimes it's an hour. All of that is true. They sent the... They, the ripitards.

Basically, honestly, I'll be honest with you, I haven't been hated this much by so many people who I don't give, who I have active disdain for since Dr. Phil. Really? Yeah. I'm being hated like never before. There's people openly fantasizing about how they're gonna kill me, telling other male friends how they need to go kill me.

Now why are you the lightning rod right now? Why my whole life? Even when I was a kid, I remember teachers just hating me, seething with hatred, like this little fucker. Yeah, what are you? I can't even Yeah. Like this little fucker. Yeah. I can't even sleep knowing that this little creep is at school. Yeah.

People are talking to their therapists about me. Probably for the last 43 years. It's possible. I'm sure you definitely- I know what the deal is. You have definitely cost people sleep. That I do know. Including myself, man. Yeah, well. I'm out of it today.

I really tied one on. Oh. Good. I said 2pm? Ah, that sounds like a good time for acid. It's too late. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's too late. Oh, I see. You get the Katamari Dimasay ball of behaviors.

Stacking and stacking, stacking. Gotcha. So, yeah. Maybe that's why everyone thinks. It's quite an evening. I don't know. Acid? Probably not. I don't know. Probably just everything. Everything piling up, you know, getting bigger and bigger and bigger, bigger and bigger and bigger. The sword and the stone, right? Everybody got, I gotta pull that fucking sword, man. That fucking sword's been there for a long time.

I gotta pull that fucking thing out. I'm gonna pull it out. Hey everybody, watch. I'm gonna pull that fucking thing out, drag it behind my car, mount it on the, you know, mount it over the fireplace. Everyone's gonna see I'm the one that pulled it out.

URGH! Fuck this sword! over the fireplace. Everyone's gonna see I'm the one that pulled it out. Mm. Ugh! Fuck this sword! Fuck this sword! This sword is a pedophile, right? Did everyone see that? This fucking sword is a pedophile! That was in the- Everybody!

The deleted scene from the Disney animated- From the sword in the stone, yeah. The sword in the stone. Merlin said this sword is a pedophile would Merlin lie, right? That's why I didn't pull it Uh-huh, cuz you're a pussy. No You're a pedophile too That's the that's the that's the legend of the sword in the stone got it and the next guy comes in for century fucking pull

I'll show you how to pull. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ girl, she needs to be taken away by the state, because of this fucking sword! I'm fucking sick of this sword! Get this sword! That lady over there that liked the sword, that said this sword was cool, don't pull it, you're not gonna pull it out? Call the cops on her right away, she's gotta go! Her boyfriend beats her! So arrest her! Arrest her so her boyfriend stops beating her!

And we're talking about... Mint. Retard. Eric Jule... Stop beating her and we're talking about mint Retard Eric something about what was that sound something about Father's Day weekend has Eric July and his fans all upset Maybe another Father's Day spent with grandma isn't what the doctor ordered. I'll ask my dad today when I see him. My dad that I've known for 43 years, that guy. That's a pretty well-crafted joke right there. Something about it.

Something about Father's Day has got him whiling out. You know? I don't know why. Did they put Juneteenth right on top of Father's Day? I mean, it's close. Did they do that on purpose? It's close. I mean, it's... You know? Who's goofing who here? What, uh...

You know what I like to say. It's a few days, right? I don't know. What is it? June 16th? I don't know. All I know is every mailing list I'm on went ahead and sent me an email about how it's Juneteenth. They did. Oh, that's great, man.

Thanks. I literally like- Thanks, I wouldn't have heard about it anywhere else. Well, you know, I mean, what's funny is I guarantee you I'm in the majority here, but like I had never heard of Juneteenth until like two years ago. Yes, you'd be in the-

I had- You'd be in the 87% majority on that one. I would think so. I mean, I don't ever remember... It's cool. I mean, it's a cool holiday. I don't ever remember hearing about it in school. How did we not have a summertime holiday? How did Sesame Street not talk about it?

I don't know. With all the fucking, you know... Pop the hydrants ban, let's talk about Juneteenth. No one knew about it. Racists't know. With all the fucking, you know, I honestly think they probably did. Pop the hydrant spam, let's talk about Juneteenth. No. No one knew about it. I... Racist, those goddamn racist buckets. I honestly, honestly didn't. Like Juneteenth, like, but what day is that? Like it's a Teenth! That's... racist question. One of the Teenths. One of the Teenths. Eighteenth, Nineteenth, you know. Yeah. The legal one. It's got to be a Teenth and it's got to be legal.

That's the rule for Juneteenth. Oh, okay, that's right. Yeah, right. 18th or 19th. So, you know, if the Thursday is the 17th, you could start at about, you know, 10 p.m. Right. You know, like a midnight showing, right? If it's the 17th, then somebody's dad goes away. This fucking sword!

This sword, and everyone who likes it is supporting pedophilia! Somebody's dad goes away. This fucking sword! Yeah. This sword, and everyone who likes it is supporting pedophilia. We gotta get the cops over to get this- First of all, everybody agrees that that girl that said she liked that I was gonna fuck up with the sword and couldn't pull the sword out, everyone agrees that she's being abused by her boyfriend Riley, who is employed by the sword, to do these things. So, ipso facto, we gotta arrest that girl. Arrest her, put her in a home, put her in the Rain Man home. They're seriously saying that Mint is- The Rain Man home for autistic teens.

They're running with the narrative that Mint is so autistic she can't control herself and I'm like, are you guys prepared to go to... I'm stealing a Josh Denny joke. Are you prepared to go to court and say that this woman is more retarded than this one, right? Yeah. What do you mean? Right. What do you mean she's not capable of running her life? What do you mean by that? Yeah. Okay. Look at this video. We have a Riley slapping mint on stream for a hundred dollar super chat.

Well, you got him. People just throw out autism and it's like. Not full retard. Yeah. You know? You never, she's, mint's not full retard. No. She's got charm. Yeah. You know? Right. You never, she's, Minn's not full retard. No. She's got, she's got charm. Yeah. What's the saying from Tropic Thunder? Never go full retard. Never go full, right. What's the whole thing, you know? I'm exaggerating the,

she's not Rain Man. She's just not a broadcaster, you know? Yeah, well he was- Which is difficult to do. Right. Right. People listen to people talk on the radio and think, well it's just talking, I could do that, but it's not. It's more difficult than that. It is. You stammer and mumblefuck your way through things. That's true.

You sound like an idiot. That's true. You gotta get this fucking sword. They don't even know, the sword's not even, it's not even a real sword, it's just a prop. You know? Yeah, right. It's bolted into, there's no sword in there at all. Yeah.

That's the, it's just a hilt. That's what you guys don't understand. Yeah, it's fucking bolted with four huge bolts to a plate on the bottom, and the sword flares out and it's a, yeah. Because you don't understand. It's impossible. You're an idiot. That's the metaphor. You're a fucking idiot.

Yeah. You're a fucking idiot Fucking sword there's no sword man. It's just a hilt. Yeah bolted to a fake rock That's hilarious Fucking bullshit, man. DICK DICK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E I was like, there she goes! Jesus. I didn't get through that one at all. Joining me is always this world touring, LA based comedian Sean the Audio Engineer. Yep, I'm here again.

What's up man, how you doing? Yeah, you know. We'll see. Vito's so upset by this that he- So upset by what? By this Riley's a woman beater and- Oh really? He disagrees?

And the man needs to be taken to a home for autistic teenagers. Autistic adults. What fucking year is it to these people? He disagrees. And the man needs to be taken to a home for autistic teenagers. Autistic adults, right? What fucking year is it to these people? We don't have institutions for slightly autistic people? We don't even have them for huge retards! What are you talking about? There's some, but like, you know, you don't hear about them much. Maybe you gotta ship her to like Thailand or something.

How old are they? Are they in their 20s? Yeah, they're in their 20s. Yeah, they're both adults. Yeah, they're like within two years of each other. Yeah. 18 months or something like that. Yeah, they live on their own, right?

Or just- Yeah, they're doing better than us, probably. Probably. They're doing that fansly, OnlyFans shit. Oh yeah? Yeah. Hot damn. Mint's being naked or whatever she does over there.

They do some sort of, the last thing I saw was Mint and another girl doing something sexually related. I really hate that. Yeah. I really hate women having sex on camera. Exploiting the autistic. This is part of the exploitation. That's I see, I having sex on camera. Exploiting the autistic. This is part of the exploitation.

That's I see, I got it, yeah. What do we have here? How do we like the bonus episode? Was that good? I think so. How was that email? Was it crazier the longer you think about it? Yeah.

That Maddox emailed his, the girl that he says he dumped. Right, couldn't wait to. And he tried to flush six times. Right. And it was, it was actually, they he tried to flush six times. And it was actually, they broke up in November. See I had to reveal that to correct the record. Well, the whole thing is about correcting the record.

It's really important to correct the record and get that you won't get it out first. Whoever's talking first is always lying. All you have to, you just have to be him and you can just assume he's always lying. I love the little, the little please for help. If anyone you know can, he talks about the, the county clerk said that unless we had a lawyer,

I would definitely lose. County clerk. Yeah, county clerk. That was my favorite part. Oh my god. The thing that the lady, the court reporter, the court told him. The person you wait in line to say, next. Yeah, next. If they have a lawyer and you don't have a lawyer, you're going to lose.

She probably said that when Maddox showed up on the wrong day and thought that it meant that the case was dismissed, which we didn't know, which we never knew about until Maddox said it on his stupid documentary. And then like he's pleading for help and I don't even know what he's referencing. It's just like if anything- What do you want, a lawyer? Or what do you want? Yeah, yeah, if anybody can help with this. He wants legal counsel, I'm assuming for free.

This guy- that's what got you fucked up last time, buddy! Right! The legal counsel you paid for ruined your life. Yeah, you want it for free? Yeah. Which means he either, he wants it for free or he doesn't trust himself to pick legal counsel. Like, he's not capable. It's like, you know, I need somebody who actually knows somebody. We gotta get this guy in jail. That's all I need to know. His friends are in jail. One by one. His friends are going to jail. And he doesn't care. And that means he should doubly go to jail. Yeah, I... This is...

He did it twice in that last... Where is this coming from? He had done it earlier in the video, but then it was like... What are you asking for? I hope the offices of Dee's Nuts don't hit him up, you know. What do you think could possibly happen? You left something on the table in your last lawsuit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You didn't show all your cards like,

oh, well, there's more, I can sue them for this now. If anybody can help with that It's like really I'm pretty sure you put everything you could possibly think of. You gave it of your all on that one. What do you think someone's gonna do? What do you need like two lawyers? Now is that the issue? That's dumbfounded every time he does that. He says man as much as this guy says, man, as much as I hate your... As much as your lawsuit, lull suit, made you look like an idiot,

you at least tried to move on with your life. No, you didn't. At all. You spent five years making that insane video. No, correct. No. He made it seem like he was doing... But being behind the scenes, all fucking, all effort was going to this. He has not moved on at all. His life stopped. His life stopped at that point. It stopped at episode 107. That was the end of Maddox's life.

Yeah, no, I mean this guy. Life tried to drag him into a new age with that Verizon cartoon that we watched last week, but he wasn't having it. No, no. No, he. I'm not ready. You're gonna be dead before you're ready, buddy.

Go kicking and screaming. He actually kicked and screamed so much that he didn't go. He dropped him. Fine, just leave him. Fuck it. I'm gonna leave you at the Grand Canyon. Rest of the family back in the car. Like Joe Dirt. I've always tried to move. Oh, no, no. Man, as much as your lull suit made you look like an idiot, you at least-

That's good. You at least tried to move on with your life. How? Meanwhile, baby dick here is desp- Oh yeah, I'm toxic world. I'm bringing everybody into toxic world. So I'm force merging their fan bases. Got it.

I'm forcefully intertwining everyone's fates Yeah, I love how what people don't feel like they have any kind of choice in that They don't you know what I mean? I'm doing it just like I'm mushing them together me like don't just like don't engage Like but it's like that's not an option Otherwise, you know, otherwise I got to kill, you know hundreds of. If I just mush them into one guy, it's just one guy. It's a lot easier. It's okay to put down the forearms you frequent. People can't...

It's like... They don't feel like they have a choice. Null review to... I sous-vided a $40 steak. We're talking 2.75 inch tomahawk. I sue Vita Day, I sue Vita Day, a $40 steak. We're talking 2.75 inch tomahawk ribeye. I just, I saw it sitting there in the store and I'm like, ah, fuck it.

I know I can't eat this. I'm gonna, I hate not eating it, but I just want to do it. It's so big, right? This is gonna be, this is gonna be five, six meals. Right. And then I met a fat guy this weekend that I think we could be meat pals.

Yeah. You know? Because you can't always be making meat for yourself and your wife. Because first of all, you don't want her to eat ever. Right? Okay. Women can't really enjoy a meat that size, right?

Okay. They're just waiting to tear it apart. It's too red. I don't really like it when it's red, you know? Not like I can enjoy it. Right, not like you can enjoy it. I met this fat guy and I think we're gonna be meat pals now. I can call him up, hey,

doing another 2.75 inch Tomahawk border house over here. So you sous vide it and then you grill it at the end? Sear it, yeah. Sear it at the end. I grilled it this time and I fucked up the sear. Did you? Yeah, two grills is not as good of a sear as a pan sear, I don't think. I just didn't want to clean the pan. Well, yeah, I grilled it this time and I fucked up the sear. Did you? Yeah, two grills not as good of a sear as a pan sear, I don't think.

I just didn't want to cling upon it. Well, yeah, I mean, that's true. You got cast iron skillet, I mean, that is your most contact that you can possibly get. And you can, you know, I mean, cast iron radiates heat like fucking nothing, so. So Null sees the steak and goes on a five minute rant about the quality of my steak

and reveals that he likes his meat medium well done, medium well. He says it looks like it was boiled. I mean, technically. That's kind of what it, yeah. Technically it wasn't, it was luke warmed, I guess, like four or five hours. But it made me sad.

I want to take him, I want to get him a good steak dinner. I was making fun of it on Biggest Problem, but thinking about it made me sad. It's like, come on, somebody's got to take this guy out for a nice steak. Yeah, I think- There's 200 bucks here. Just send me the receipt and don't have any input. You tell the chef, I want you to make what's good with the best cut of meat that you got. Right? Pair it with the wine. You pick. Sides, everything.

You know? Get a nice wedge out in front of it. I made wedges too. Ooh. Oh you did? All nine yards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty good.

Made me sad though. Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people with the medium or less cooked medium, medium rare, they get the idea that it's bloody. You know, I think a lot of people with the medium or less cooked medium, medium rare, they get the idea that it's bloody. Like it's not blood, people. It's not. You have to drain the blood from the animal like immediately.

You have blood in your... Like it's... Yeah, you can't... The meat would taste horrible. If it was blood? If it was blood. Yeah, I mean, I guess there would be trace amounts, but it's like... The meat would taste horrible. If it was blood? If it was blood. Hahahaha! Yeah, I mean, I guess there would be trace amounts, but it's like...

You mean they don't just shoot the cow and then chop it into like squares? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that not what they do? Yeah. Ah, there's a whole thing to it? Yeah. It's like... Is it important how they drain the blood, or is it just do whatever?

You know, turn it upside down. It's not like... That's not blood that's running out all over your plate. I know it's I know it's reddish, but Guess there's a little in there, but people are like oh my god. I'm just like you know. It's just so bloody bloody I've always tried to move on Maddox says oh, I think I was still talking meanwhile baby dick here Is desperately trying to cling onto his glory days. That's a proper noun that should be capitalized, B and Baby and D and Dick. Yeah, come on.

Maybe he doesn't want to give it a respect. Come on, respect the grammar. Yeah. Don't respect me, respect the grammar. Right. Come on. Respect yourself. Come on, buddy, respect yourself.

Because you're going to get judged. People are going to think you don't know. That's... You respect yourself, you respect your readers. Yeah. You know? Right. Respect the grammar. Don't respect me, that's fine. But respect yourself. You respect your readers. Yeah, you know, right respect the grammar don't respect me That's fine. But disrespecting me with lowercase. This is bigger than one man It's bigger than it's bigger than you and me both pal. Okay, you got to respect these grammar rules Yeah, or else, you know better than me. Yeah, you know, right. That's something I would do. Yeah, you're not like me, right?

You're better than me. I hope not. I'm just a fake sword in a stone over here that's a pedophile also. Meanwhile, Baby Dick here is desperately trying to cling on to his glory days like a high school football player that never went pro. Four touchdowns in a single game. At what point am I allowed to be a- I Maddoxed that line. In a single game. In a single game. Yeah.

At what point am I allowed to be a pro podcaster? Well, I mean- Why everyone talks about me like I never went pro. I'm gonna sing a game. I'm gonna sing a game. At what point am I allowed to be a pro podcaster? Well, I mean. Everyone talks about me like I never went pro. I'm a pro. I have two podcasts that are in the top 1% in the world. You know, money. I'm definitely a pro. Even if you weren't making this much money,

you're getting paid to do this weekend. The fact that you make anything makes you a professional. You're paid to do this. I'm not just a pro, I'm a very good, like a very high ranking pro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not just not a pro. You're playing major league, yeah.

I'm not talking to you from a fucking high school here. I'm a pro at this, a good one, an accomplished one, who's been relevant in this show for eight years. Right. Always in the middle of drama. That's true. Always starting it. Accomplished one who's been relevant for it in this show for eight years, right? Always in the middle of drama. That's always starting it. This is I'm good at this right like a high school football player That never went well. I'm pro motherfucker. Yeah, both of you were talking about me Yeah, I'm getting paid to respond you're doing this shit for free. That's right. I'm pro No, yeah, you met me pro you Joe yeah Yeah, it's funny how it's never went pro. I am a fucking pro. Yeah, everybody knows. I'm a pro right you motherfucker

I'm not pro in football you're right. That what you mean. Yeah, they're going pro in football We've been very good at inflating your numbers and stuff It's private. It's part of a drug conspiracy too. Sure. I swear, man. I don't even think it's dumbness. I think it's just desperation to like, I don't make me feel some way.

I don't know. Could be. When people's emotions get toyed with, when they're made to feel away, they wanna make you feel away. Absolutely. So anything goes. Yeah. Oh, goes. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. But like I said, there's no sword. There's nothing under the rock. It's all fake. It's all bolts all the way down. Nothing to feel. Figure it out. Figure that out.

You've made Riley and Mitt feel. You made them feel. You fucked with them, got them arrested. I gotta do something. I gotta do a free Riley fundraiser or something. You know, like Wayne stock. Yeah, what's a... All the big cage with money flying around

that Riley can... Riley, Mitt, and some OnlyFans girl can get in and grab the money, you know? God, I remember those at like county fairs. Yeah, we gotta do something like that Yeah we gotta do something like that. I gotta do something like that. Yeah. Free Riley Fest. Free Riley Fest.

Right? Okay. All the worst, all the worst. The worst criminals and scumbags will be there. Right. All in one place. Moss Isley, all in one place. People can be taking pictures with fake guns.

Yeah, right. Everyone's gonna be tweeting about Eric July the whole mean tweets about Eric the whole time. Oh no. I'll have to come up with something else. We're all gonna go to jail. Yeah. Live from we're gonna rent a jail. Right just for you guys. I'm gonna have one of those cutouts Those ones where you stick your face in you and take a picture You know and it will just be a guy you put your head in and the rest of the picture will be a guy getting His cock sucked by Eric July

This is this harassment is this this harrassment? You know? Oh no. I've always tried to move on. Okay. The lawsuit was about real damages he caused. And came at the recommendation of both local and federal law enforcement. Really? You got the feds involved, huh?

You got both? Yeah. You got local law? You got the sheriff? Right. They said, you know, LAPD? This is our opinion, but you might want to check with the feds. And the feds said, ooh, this is too rich, this is too big for us. Yeah.

This is going to have to go all the way to the Supreme Court. Right. Right? You better call Interpol. Federal law enforcement. I'm sure. Because you know somebody who like tried out for the FBI but couldn't go pro. You know?

Ah, yeah! What did the feds say? It was like, oh so-and-so went to medical school. Oh really? They didn't graduate and they're not a doctor currently so, you know. I guess I- Who never went pro. I went pro a long fucking time ago! I should probably retire! Yeah. Yeah.

You had a longer athletic career than her, you know, podcast career than most athletes. Pneumatics? Yeah. Oh. He was only pro when he was with me! Yeah. Actually, no one else would pay for his shit! Yeah.

Actually, no one else would pay for his shit. Yeah. The lawsuit was about real damages he caused and came at the recommendation of both local and federal law enforcement. So it was, I mean, the pros told me what to do and I just, I went with- They're pros at the law. They're pros at the law.

Easy to judge. Federal law enforcement. Easy to judge when you're not the target of an obsessive stalking campaign. So is that what law enforcement does? They encourage lawsuits? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah? I know, I never knew that.

I've never been told by a cop to sue someone. Right, you should sue, you know, we're gonna- I've never talked to the FBI, so. Yeah, right. I'm kind of surprised about that, because Nick Fuentes was in here, podcasting from this studio. Yeah, was he? Yeah. I never got no FBI's ever. I mean, I imagine the FBI knows.

We don't even need to talk to that guy. We know what's going on there. Don't worry about it. This was his response to a compliment, by the way. Well, it's because this guy is shitting on me. he called him an idiot, though. He called him an idiot in the first sentence, that's odd because that guy just- Wasn't even my idea. Law enforcement put their heads together on the state or the local and federal level and said,

you know what, there's nothing we can actually do about this. You're gonna have to sue him. Yeah, you're gonna have to- What for? Everything. Right. Get him for everything. Right. Sue everybody he knows.

Matter of fact, I got a lawyer. Did you know the Super Size me guy died? I did not know that. Yeah, he died. And so we watched. I put it on, like, just in the background. What did he die of? He wasn't that old, was he?

No, he's only like 53. Wow. I hate him because he got Super Size taken away. And we've never been able to get an appropriately sized diet coke again So it's that fucking movie in like 2004 20 years ago That was the last good diet coke I ever had until that fucking cocksucker got super-sized That's one of the worst you're reliving the glory days Yeah, yeah, that was my 9-eleven. Yeah, when that movie came out. I was like, aha, that's funny

It's a whole movie about like eating like gross. That's my 9-11. When that movie came out, I was like, aha, that's funny. It's a whole movie about eating gross. That's great. Hilarious, right? And then McDonald's like, we're taking off Super Size. I said, what? Nice. What? Yeah.

What? I called my friends in New York. Did you see what just happened? I remember it well. 6 in the morning. Did you see what just happened? Yeah. Supersize is down.

Yeah. The supersize has gone down. He died of cancer. Did he really? So we're watching the movie. Yeah. And the first thing he goes, by the way, in that movie, he's drunk the whole movie.

Oh, is he? The whole thing's fake. Yeah. He's just shit-faced. That's why he's so fat and his liver's all fucked up. I've never seen it. It's because he's drunk. Never seen it. The first doctor he's drunk. Never seen it.

The first doctor he goes to- Didn't he only eat McDonald's for 30 days? Yeah. Like every meal? Yeah. You could do that. Yeah. You can do that.

Yeah, but he got all fat. People have- And then he said he's getting liver damage, but it's because he's drinking. Well, yeah. I mean, what is he saying? Like what fatty liver disease or some shit or something like that?

Well, the doctors are baffled. But the first doctor he goes to, they're like, do you have any medical conditions? He goes, well, my grandfather died of cancer. So his first words to the doctor are what he dies of. I thought that was funny. Like 20 years later, you know? What killed me, diet, all that shit.

No, the cancer that you brought in originally, it was never avoidable. Yeah, I mean, Yeah, cancer runs in some families. You never had a choice, you fucking cocksucker. Maybe we can have it back now. I've been ordering it. What, Super Size?

Every time I've been ordering it for 20 years. We don't carry that anymore. But I do it because I want them to know. I would think that some employees probably have never heard of Super Size. Yeah, they haven't. They're young enough. Well, we don't carry that.

Do you say anymore or we don't carry that? Do we sell Lederacola? Let me get one of these mint things up. And I got so much stuff here. I don't even know what to... Yeah, sweet. Do you see that this guy runs out on a hooker? Do you no what is he a linebacker so a guy runs out on a professional football NFL player Terrell Lewis runs out on oh my god

here he goes watch this oh see ya see ya there he goes running out of the hotel room with the hookers. This one's chasing him. Uh oh, uh oh. They're gonna P-Diddy him. Look at her go. Oh my god. That's assault. You can't do that. You sure that guy's a fucking NFL player?

He doesn't look quick enough. What does he play? I don't know. Well, he probably just busted a nut, so you know, he's not in like top running. Maybe not. He has no jack off and then go play football. No, no. That'd be a hell of a...

The jack off bowl. That'd be a good game. Yeah. Welcome to the jack off bowl. Everybody's jacking off right now. Right. They've been edging for a while. They're about to blow their loads in three, two, one.

Okay, game. Let's go. Okay. Now taking the field. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody get out there and do nothing. And the refs, go, go, go, go. Eh. He was attacked.

Runs out on two before paying, wow. Smart, smart guy, right? Here's something, here's something else for you. Yeah. This about sums up, I guess, men in general. I don't know. Definitely conservatives. We will not... They're making a big deal out of not drafting women.

We will not draft women. Okay. I'm with this other senator. This will happen over my dead body. Isn't that the point? Yeah, right? What do you mean? Yeah, that's what we're saying.

Over your dead body, we're drafting women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Okay. So let's do it. We should draft them first.

Don't you think that maybe we'll be a little more hesitant to start killing people if it's just women first? Probably. Right? How can you be a dad and a spokesman for dad and men and your slogan is how important it is to not draft women because we don't want them to die? Like, are you fucking high? Why are you comfortable with drafting men then? What are you, what's going on in your head? No, it's just a fantasy. What wires are you comfortable with drafting men then? What are you, what's going on in your head? What wires are you connecting that I don't have?

What the fuck, who are you, who is this virtue signaling for? It's not for women. Total virtue signaling. I promise you it's not, women aren't getting, women aren't getting their dicks wet talking about how you're not gonna draft them. This is for men.

You and a bunch of other guys are posturing together about how you're definitely going to- The defender of- Yeah. To draft young men. Right. Who is a fuck would- this would seem like this is a zero appeal to me. We will not draft women. Who's this message for? And we definitely will not allow them to choose anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That too. We got it. Definitely. No, no, no, no, no. You're getting, if you're getting slapped online for super chats, we're sending the cops to kill you. We will not draft women. Yeah, virtue signaling that is. To the umpteenth degree. Why are we talking about drafts? We got unlimited money. What are you talking about? Nobody even needs to have a job. All this, like, all these people going to like work

at the office and stuff, none of them are needed. That's all just LARPing. So like that all of the all work, 95% of work is just pretend bullshit. So people can justify giving themselves, giving each other money. None of it's just busy work and bullshit. The entire economy runs on like 5% of people.

Truck drivers, farmers, shit like that. That's all we need. The rest of it's just like a guy at a computer. Oh yeah, let me reset the router. Oh, is Netflix down? Oh here, I'll reset it. Good. That's it.

None of this shit is real. We have unlimited money. So much money that we're just using the money to keep everyone down for fun. Yeah. We're not gonna draft women. Man, there should be no fights ever. There should be no wars at all.

What are you... Draft for what? Well, you know. Well, we gotta fight China. Why? Yeah. For what? Seems like we should take a season off.

You know? Yeah. Once in a while. You know? Yeah! What's in a while? Every year? Every year we have to do this? All the time? Yeah, whether we're... China's coming every year?

Oh man! And they all decided that together, did they? All one billion of them are like, we gotta go frame OJ. We gotta go get America. It's just too good. Thank God we didn't use any women to stop them. It's so fucking retarded. We will not draft- draft women first.

Let them go nag the Chinese to death. See what popular opinion, what that says. We've drafted all the fattest women in America and armed them with not eating for 12 minutes and sent them to the front lines. We surrender. The Hungry Hungry Hippo Brigade. Oh surrender. The Hungry Hungry Hippo Brigade. Oh, it's Hungry Hungry Hippo, no! I'm going back to my cave, right?

I mean. Send the women out there. They can have a big cry-off over who has it worse. Send the, that's the Israeli-Palestine problem. We'll just send the women out. Send the, that's what, that's the Israeli Palestine problem. We'll just send the women out. Send women to the- And they can all TikTok, they're crying at each other. They're weaponized crying.

Weaponized crying. Over who's got it worse. I mean, you know, we all know Israeli women are pretty good weaponized criers, but let's see what the Palestinian girls have to offer. They might be hiding some secret weapons in there, you know? Well, you have to draft from, like you want the largest talent pool you can.

Yeah. You can have. That was one thing that, you know, the Dodgers are kind of responsible for the modern Major League Baseball farm system. And in particular, like Latin America. Well, they, because they started, because literally they started to go look

for talent outside the United States. They were just, you know, somebody would have done it, but it was pretty much them. And it was like, you know, developing, you know, talent from all over the fucking world. So, yeah. Maybe we could draft the Chinese. That should be, that's what I would do

if I was the military. Draft the Chinese? We're not drafting men or women, we're drafting the Chinese. Then you show up day one, you're drafted into the US Army. They're like, what? Yeah, right. Here's your gun. I made a promise to my constituents, I would not draft women.

So come on, you are a man, right? Here's a couple bucks, here's an iPhone. They'll be so confused. There you go. Yeah. Give me a Star Wars screener. Oh man, we took an Uber last night. You did. iPhone. They'll be so confused. There you go. Yeah. Give me a Star Wars screener. Oh man, we took an Uber last night.

You did. It was a Chinese lady. So it was tidy. And you're here. Right. Good for you. I just got here. I took it last night at about, you know, 10 and now I just arrived a couple minutes before the show. She had her, she had her directions turned on audio.

Yeah. On the map. In English? Chinese. In Chinese, yeah. And somehow, in addition to being annoying, right? And being way too loud, I don't know how you know how to navigate

the three freeways, you know, here. It sounded like a chinese airport oh wow interchange yeah there's an english word in there everyone's it made it more annoying i felt like a dog right you know like when you're talking and a dog's there and eventually it'll hear like road what walk what yeah yeah my name what yeah what's going what was the rest of that It's like a dog, right? You know, like when you're talking and a dog's there and eventually it'll hear like road, what? Walk, what? Yeah, yeah. My name, what? Yeah.

What's going on? What was the rest of that? Right. That's how I felt in the backseat of this fucking Uber. They are hardy sure how interchange at door five. Ooh, how are they rare? Can you just fucking stop? I like that you got the candies back here and stuff, but.

Oh, well, that's good. Can you turn it down maybe? I I mean I don't want to you figured out how a woman a Chinese woman could drive so I don't want to you know yeah you don't want to take away any you know pull the wrong lever right yeah and then oh oh right car falls disintegrates yeah or they take your candy away, even worse. Da! No candy for you! Right. Um... Horse girls? Alright, let's see this. Horse girls. Did Israel save some hostages? Did I get that right? No idea.

They killed about 200 people to save four... ...hostages? Really? I don't know, I saw all the usual people explaining how that was actually good. I'm like, I don't think so. Just like statistically speaking, you don't want to root for that. Cause you could either be a hostage or a regular guy.

So, you don't want to bet on four and 150 odds. You want to be one, you want to tend to say like, well, no, you can't do that. You could kill as many hostages, kill as many people as you're saving. Yeah. That's statistically, that's, you know. Yeah, more acceptable.

More of a wash, right? Right. Usually you want to get that first number down though. Yes. You're gonna kill random people to save random people. Yeah. Right? So did they kill,

Did they kill 150 of the other side and, and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well then, I mean, as far as that goes, that's... Not soldiers, just people. If they were able to do that and not kill any of the hostages or people they were trying to save, then I mean, I'll give them maybe an A for precision. Precision? That's a lot of people.

Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, you know, if they, what was it like, they throw in, they bomb something or? Everything, yeah. They bombed everything? Yeah. But they, what do they like tell the four people to, hey, get down, we're gonna bomb these. Hostages, they said it in like, they said, attention Gaza,

someone has lost, has someone dropped a dollar? Oh no. And then. Everybody hit the deck first. Yeah, right. Shoot at, you know, chest height after that. Yeah. It's a.

We got him. Bibi, we got him. It's Walt's, you know, that pop-up gun from the trunk in Breaking Bad. And the end where he picks a fight with Jesse so that he can pretend to fucking... Yeah, fuck you fight, you don't tackle him, and then everybody's... Everybody just wants to kill everybody else. That's true. Oh yeah, the horse girl's hobby. I saw this, I thought it was amusing.

Oh yeah, the horse girl's hobby. I saw this, I thought it was amusing. Ah... Never heard of it before. This is, uh... This is what they do. These girls are... Oh no, that's not going well. All right. They pretend to be horses. See this?

They ride a little stick horse and they prance around. That's a crazy jump. That's unbelievable. Why would she do it with a weird pretend horse stick in front of her? That's a crazy jump. Yeah. This is what they do.

They set up PVC pipes on, she's got like a PVC jumping thing on some long furniture. Like a very high hurdle. Very high hurdle. Right. And she's running with a horse head on a stick like a toy. Yeah.

And then they prance all around. Stick horse. Horse girls. That's amazing. Yeah, let me try it. Oh, God. That's not good. That's a good one, let me try it. Oh God. That's not good. That's a good one.

Nobody wants to see that. Horse girls. This is a new thing. I mean, it's gonna be a new TikTok trend, I would guess. Yeah, I don't know. They're pretty serious about it. I mean, that's- Like trying to like do the gate right, you know? What the fuck is- I've been sobbing about it. Yeah, what don't know. They're pretty serious about it. I mean, they're that's... Like trying to like do the gate right, you know?

What the fuck is... I've been sobbing about it. Yeah, what the fuck? I don't know. So that's something to, you know... Does she like eat shit or something like that? I guess. I honestly don't.

I don't know. I can't tell what they're... It's amazing. What they're doing. I thought I had some more, but... Well. I don't. That's okay.

Let's see. Another new weird thing that I have no hope of understanding. You wanna get into horsing? Prancing around with a baton? Sure. Oh, did they find that? Here's Magic Johnson's Father's Day. Oh yeah?

Yeah, I don't know about, I don't know. Look at, here at the magic. These are the Johnson all around. This is the, this guy is in competition with a little Nas or the gayest. His family picture day. I haven't seen. His son is fishnet.

Is that a son? Yeah, fishnet top and a tube top. I don't know if he has tits or not, his son? I don't know. They got a real good grip on the kids here. OK. Let's usher her out of the. Magic, what's going on here, man?

What's happening here? You couldn't put on a shirt for today, you know? Well, that's- Didn't you have anything gayer that you could wear? Go back, try again. I know you got something gayer than a black fishnet tube top combo. Come on, man.

It's going out to the internet. You gotta really represent the LGBT community. You guys have... Right in the center, center of the photo. Well, where else would you put them? I mean... I mean... You asked for it. There you go.

I don't... They're just smiling. Yeah, sure. Whatever. Who cares? Yeah. That's probably my fault too. Nashville shooter school violent rant revealed at last. Is this real? Audrey Hale wrote about her torture as a trans girl and how she would kill to get puberty blockers.

Great. I think maybe we gotta start putting a little disclaimer on all this sex change shit. You know? Yeah. Objects in the sex change are not gonna, they're gonna look a lot like you. You know? They can't do that for like alcohol. They can't show like a car going,

they can't say like, you're gonna be the biggest super stud in the world if you drink fucking alcohol and smoke cigarettes, right? Yeah, they have to imply it, you know? They have to imply it. They have to imply it. They can't say it. Because it's like, it's always like,

oh, you order this, oh, you get all the hot chicks. Yeah, imply it. Yeah, smoke. Next change stuff, they gotta dial it back on the advertising, I think. They gotta put something on there, it's like, hey, by the way, it's- Yeah, Surgeon General's warning, you know?

Objects in the, you know, the penis in the mirror is gonna be a little weirder than it appears. Right? It's going to be as weird as it appears. Yeah. What are they telling them? You know, doctors always tell you crazy shit when you go in for any surgery.

They're like, yeah, we'll cut your knee open, tinker around with it, it'll be good as new. It's like, oh, it wasn't good as new. It was actually a little bit worse, but reliably so for the rest of my life. Right. You know, put that knee warning on the penis. Sure.

Penis advertising. Yeah. I gotta get these puberty blockers. Everybody is settled down. It's not, don't worry. Yeah. All right. Okay, very good. It's not... don't worry. Yeah. Alright. Okay, very good.

I don't know, I guess I didn't see the manifesto though. I think all the right-wing guys are like saving it for their paywalls. Oh really? They can really whip up some hatred for trans people. Got it. Oh, okay, here's uh... Let's see what's going on with the budget! Down the cost of certain. You know who that is?

Yalen? Yeah. The lady that runs the economy? Yeah. Yeah, sir. The US budget deficit has reached 1.2 trillion. Is there a plan to bring this number down? Her response is,

it's difficult to cut costs. More than half of it is defense. It's not really possible to get cuts there. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, it's because you're stealing all that money, right? More than half is defense, but definitely can't cut that down. I mean, you know, we're just constantly getting attacked. Right, right. So, you know? Yeah. I mean, do you want to just get another Pearl Harbor? Right. What about 9-11? Well, because we weren't spending enough on defense is why we had that. Oh. Yeah. So we spend more? Yeah. And then what? Well, you know. Yeah, we couldn't. We didn't have enough money to send, you know, ships and planes out there to meet the enemy ships that were lobbing missiles at the Twin Towers, right?

You idiot, if we stop spending on defense, we're not going to need it! Why do you think we're always getting attacked? Because we're defending ourselves so aggressively! Let's hear it. When you were running the Fed, you talked about debt and deficits all the time. Oh, it's kind of long. in the Fed, you talked about debt and deficits all the time. And you encouraged Congress on a, yes. But on a total number, we're in a... Just say it, you pussy.

Is stabilized relative to the size of the economy that we're in a reasonable place. The way I look at it is that we should be looking at the real interest cost of the debt. That's really what the burden is. It's crippling. And in the budget the president presented for this coming fiscal year, he proposes three trillion dollars of deficit reduction over the New York City. Just say the military thing. national versus actually cutting costs.

Well, it's difficult to cut costs. Discretionary spending, which is what's governed by appropriations, it has fallen relative to the size of GDP. And if once you involved in looking what's what's in there, more than half of it is defense. It's really not possible to get cuts there.

Was she saying that discretionary spending has been pulled way back and it's affected the military spending, like it's already more than half of the reduction is in military spending. Is that what she was saying? Yeah, can't cut that. Well, I'm saying, but that's a different thing though, isn't it?

What, discretionary spending? Well, yeah, which is what they, yeah, discretionary spending. But like, is she saying they've already cut more than half? They haven't, okay, because then which is what they yeah discretionary spending but like they've all if she's saying they've already cut They have not been half the have it. Okay. Yeah. All right, then it's what we were Not she's lying. Yeah, that's not that's not that's not the case then we Yeah, can't possibly cut it. Oh, we can't can't cut this right? Look at the big board. Yeah, he'll see the big board. See the big board people in there seeing the big board Look at the big board. Yeah, he'll see the big board.

See the big board. There are people in there seeing the big board. Uh... Vito is so upset by this Riley stuff that he changed his profile picture to the Unabomber. Really? Great. He was so upset. Really?

He's so angry. Wow. Our show is... He's just... He's on fire, huh? He's seething. No, not on fire. No, just see like, okay. You know, Catalian mafia, just anger.

Got it. It's like, oh man, all right. Infowars is getting auctioned off. Did you know about that? No. Yeah, Infowars is getting auctioned off. So the Sandy Hook, they're building a machine to bring the Sandy Hook kids back to life.

Oh no. They need the, they need all Alex Jones' sorrow. It's powered by sorrow like Thanos' life stone. Got it. Or the soul stone. Thank you. So if they, if they manage to make Alex Jones' die of sorrow. Right. And they'll be able to build their resurrection machine, but they can only bring back one kid.

So the Sandy Hook. That's gonna be a. Kid, parents are really, you know, gonna have to Rochambeau it. That's gonna be a tough one. That's a good movie. It's a plot, that's a good, you know. You get to bring back, oh, yeah.

Plot. You know what? Good comic. I would be interested, you know. You get to bring back, oh wow. Plot. You know what? Comic. I would be interested to see it. You want to see what happens in that? Like Children of the Corn meets, I don't know, meets the headlines. Sure. Children of the Corn meets the headlines.

Alex Jones goes, Oh, as he's dying of sorrow, as the government is carting Infowars stuff away to sell at auction. Where people buy it, I guess I don't know I guess I don't know what the plan is, you know, sure The government's taking Alex Jones is shit. You know if Alex Jones had personally killed those kids He would probably owe less money. Well, yeah, you know, yeah Alex Jones. Well, he definitely would owe less money

He got a semi-automatic rifle right and went And went to that, went to Sandy Hook Elementary School and just started shooting kids. He would probably owe less. Oh, I'm sure he would. They wouldn't really be interested in how much money he owed at that point. They'd be more interested in where he was located for the rest of his life, I would say.

He'd have to give up some real estate, I'm sure. You think he would you think he would yeah probably they're selling all of his stuff Yeah, and I don't know what the Somebody comes in and buys it and then they use that money to give to the Sandy Hook Life bringing back machine. I don't know and then Then Alex Jones gets his stuff back like what do you mean you taking his studio? He can just use a web camera. Yeah. Who cares about the studio? Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's funnier. Yeah. Like Rocky IV, right? You guys know this is America. You guys understand what you're doing? Yeah. In making Alex Jones Rocky IV? Rocky IV was fucking awesome. And it was about fighting communism with boxing. Yeah. Well, and also coming together.

Well, the boxing, you know, was the... The great unifier. The precipitator of the coming together. Got it. Yeah. Do you understand what you're doing here? No. I guess maybe the San Diego parents have not seen Rocky IV. You think they're like one of them is like, are we the fucking...

Are we the Russians in this? You think they're at home going, I don't know, man. Are we the, are we doing a Rocky IV to Alex Jones? Are we the bad guys? Am I the bad guy? Boxing with this. You don't think they're thinking about that? I don't think so.

They probably didn't show their kids Rocky IV, you don't think? They wish they could have seen. I don't think that many people are. I saw Rocky IV as a kid. Yeah, oh no, yeah, I know. But I don't know if today's kids are being shown like those, you know. Viol no. It's awesome. Yeah, I know, but I don't know if today's kids are being shown like those...

Violent shit like that. Well, I mean, just, I don't know. And punch fucking measuring. Boom! And it's like, drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Totally sucks. It doesn't hold up at all. Something about being out of the 80s, movies just fall apart. Yeah, 80s stuff does not tend to date well. Music especially. It almost dates better. I watch it and I'm like, I wish I could like this again, but I need like, I don't know,

I'm just so used to seeing trash. This is what a movie used to be. Now it's like an improv set that I'm watching. Oh wow, okay. Oh, there's Seth Rogen in the background. Yeah, the 80s had, you know, in music, it had an explosion of some technology and stuff. And, you know, things like, you know, digital reverbs,

digital effects, and it's, it really, really dates a lot of popular music. They got rid of all the gay traffic signs in LA. Really? See LA city council members have removed no U-turn traffic signs in a gay neighborhood. They said the signs were homophobic. In the 1990s to prevent people in the-

They got it. They got a drag queen in there to do, to take it down. The no U-turn sign. Yeah. Because it's homophobic. And now traffic- LA City Council members Hugo Soto Martinez and Nithya Raman were on hand today to help remove the signs.

They say the no cruising- Oh, somebody knocked the drag queens wig off i guess no u-turn signs were put up in the 1990s to prevent people in the gate come on where did he get these pants look at this set of lavender pants this gentleman has how was a no u-turn sign because it's after midnight so no u-turns have like no gay cruising. So cops would sit out there and just bust and just randomly bust guys for doing gay shit. Yeah. A community from meeting up with other gay people. I was also surprised that these these U-turn signs were still up.

And at first, you know, they seem a little oh oh, okay, it's just a no U-turn sign. But when you learn the history of it, you realize that these were used to profile gay people. It's so important that we have these removed. Okay. I have several stop signs that are also homophobic in my neighborhood that I need removed. Big time. They are threatening gay people with them. They're very homophobic. The history of these stop signs is profiling gay, you know, I don't know. Can we all just support the anti-sign people? Does it matter why?

Maybe not a bad idea. A lot of signs that should probably be taken down. We got these signs taken down. Amazing. It's because they're, stop right there. I don't need to know. I don't want to know. The sign's down, stop. As long as you support my sign taking to know. I don't want to know. The sign's down. Stop.

As long as you support my sign taking down campaign. I'm gonna come back to you for a favor. I've got my own sign that I'm dealing with. Then that day may never come. I expect you and all your army of fruits out there helping me, you know, with my stop sign issue. You want to take the stop sign out? Yes, there's fucking three stop signs right in a row, dude. What's not, what do you not, how do you not see the homophobia in that? Yeah, I don't know.

You know, some people just don't want to see it. They don't want to see the homophobia that's all around us. Right. Not on this Juneteenth. Let's see. Oh yeah, gay traffic signs. A woman alert, all right.

Perhaps. Woman alert. Woman alert. I get to laugh every time. It's the stats it says, okay. It doesn't exist, oh no. Do I have another one? Woman can't find, oh no, that's not.

I'm not someone that posts or cries or anything on the internet. We're doing both. Oh yeah, I think we already watched that. Did we? All right. Yeah, counterfeit titanium. Oh yeah, sure.

Yeah. It's Boeing, man. I don't feel good about flying anymore. I don't want to. Too much of the shit falling out of the sky. They cut more than they can get away with and then lobby for like sanctuary when they get busted on it.

Yeah. Okay, let's read some comments. Blart Simpson says, I mean, sending an ex's mom a mean profanity-laden email is unhinged, but understandable. Sending an ex's mom a mean, profanity-laden email is unhinged, but understandable. Sending an ex's mom a nice email about her daughter's birthday present is next level deranged. Unless you're trying to bang her mom to achieve the ultimate revenge, you should probably

check yourself into a padded room. Yeah, I would agree with that. I don't think you should be trying to backdoor some kind of weird birthday present to throw in like Maddox did with his ex's mom. Well, it definitely, you know, it definitely hurts his narrative. Does a bit. Little bit. I tried to ditch this bitch.

Yeah, yeah. And then you're emailing her about buying, emailing your mom about buying Christmas presents? Yeah. Why were you doing that? Cause you didn't have her address. What store? I'm gonna get her the Starbucks already. If you could just tell me where she lives, I can send it to her, a nice card.

Isn't that fucking deranged? Maddox's plan, when he didn't know where she was, where 80's Girl lived, was contacting her mom at two in the morning, the day before her birthday, asking, trying to set up where he could mail her a gift card to Starbucks for her birthday. I mean, that would be the... Two in the fucking morning, bro. Yeah. That's upset is obsession to a degree that I wouldn't have even thought was possible until getting the email

recently and reading on the bonus episode that you can get right now at Patreon.com to ask the dick show. Yeah, yeah. Two in the morning frantically, I got to get it. I got to give her a gift. I don't know her address. Even though we're broken up, sadly. Sadly, we're not talking anymore. I don't know where she lives.

But, oh shit, it's her birthday! I'm getting her something. Can you just send me, you know, if you could go ahead and... It's like the Blues Brothers. I'm gonna sit in my car and write the check. I like to sit in the car and have the car on to warm my feet while I write out the check, right? Crazy. Okay.

Chet says, hey, can you forward this to Sean? I need a guy to host karaoke at my wedding reception in Vegas. It's on Sunday, August 11th. Oh shit. If you can make it, I don't know if you don't know shit about hosting karaoke. Give me a price you won't say no to,

and also the price where it's still super tempting? Thanks? You got a price for this guy to host his karaoke wedding reception? No idea. No idea? You want to tinker? Karaoke reception? Man, I don't know. You're making You want to tinker? Karaoke reception?

Man, you're making people do karaoke at a wedding reception, dude? Just shoot every other guy that comes in. I'm so much more likely just to show up than have to have any responsibility. You'd have to host. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's... Let's go. Here we go, starting karaoke, because this couple hates you. Hope you got them something crappy as a gift.

He can throw out a rate. We'll see. Well, he's too chicken shit to throw out a rate. I don't want to do any work. Yeah, you mean like hooking stuff up? Like anything. Anything. Talking.

You don't want to talk? I don't want to host. You want to have a talker? I don't want to. Like Michael Jackson? As a guy that will come do the singing for him on The Simpsons? Yeah, right. Yeah.

That's the talking rate? Right. Yeah, I don't- You paid the Sean showing up rate, not the Sean talking rate. The hosting part is what I have an aversion to. What if it's just a picture of you, hosted by Sean? Right. Yeah.

But host means you're like just there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm endorsing this whole thing. It means you show up like really late, you know? Yeah. Totally sober, so you're late for no reason. Right, no reason, exactly. That's about right.

Well, okay, I tried, buddy. I don't know. You got to throw out an offer, I think. Woman alert. Hey, Dick dick news from Texas Black woman police chief doesn't want to hire minority women police officers Why not What does she have against black what does this black woman have against black women what's the hell's the deal? Let's see

What the hell's the deal? Let's see. Man, thank you for joining us for the second half hour. The factor on- You sent me a nine fucking minute? Bro, are you serious? The type of people working for- Okay, this, I mean, this is just, this is incompetence to a degree that I avoid.

Yeah. Here's a nine minute video. Not even to a timestamp or anything like that. This is not a bonus episode. Yeah, this is... Oh, OnTheJohn is there. Let me see if he wants to call in. He said he wanted to call in today. OnTheJohn, are you there? I don't know, are you suppressed? Are you there? Oh,'t know are you suppressed? Are you there? Hey, hey, what's up? Hey, how's it going? Good? How are you? Sound good? Yeah, you're low though That's gonna turn you up. I gotcha. You're good. Alright good You better make me sound good or I swear to God you sound perfect. Oh, so dick. I heard you've become a

You sound perfect. Oh, so Dick, I hear if you've become a trafficker across state lines. Oh, did you hear that? Oh, you're guilty of the man act or something? And fucking everyone's taking a turn with mint and frankly it disgusts me. Sean, these guys are acting like I protested an abortion clinic. You know? This is Blaster says, Eric is such a see you next Tuesday. He could have easily defused the whole situation by telling Riley. Okay, you fat little shit

You want to shave my shoulders raise a hundred thousand dollars for this comic charity and then you can plug it on yeah gay lords What yeah, he doesn't get the game. Yeah, he can't see that. Yeah such a tough guy Yeah, dude It's so easy to defeat all he had to do was just walk out and talk to Riley for a little bit then yeah like Slink back in and then nothing happens. But instead now he's just Being a An n-word, you know

You know has the same problem you can't he's so enraged he can't express himself in a comedic way. I see. Yeah, Eric sends out... Laser Eyes. Does anybody have that clip of Brandon threatening... He's played this so wrong. Oh! I got something that I really shouldn't have posted in general.

Eric was on multiple live streams saying that he was going to shoot Riley. Post it in general. Eric was on multiple live streams saying that he was gonna shoot Riley. Oh really? That he'd be within his rights to shoot him and air him out, remember? He was constantly saying how he was gonna kill him, murder him, and that in 2008 he would have already done it. For months he was saying, you're fucking fat and you stink and I'll kill anyone that fucks with me because I'm a gangster and a badass. Right who goes to the cops? And then yeah and then this whole time that whole time he was sending the cops Riley's tweets like where Riley

was posed with a time crisis gun from a video game or a Terminator gun like doing a Terminator pose and making this big long-winded speech about like natural order and all kinds of stupid shit. But Eric knows he's joking. That the whole thing, this whole thing hinges on Eric knowing Riley was joking, talking to all of us, directly talking to me, talking to Nick Ricada that told him it was a joke and then he needs to relax and he just that told him it was a joke and he needs to relax and he just he just pretended not to so he could get the cops involved. No, you don't get it, Dick. Eric was scared. He told the cops he was scared for his life.

Mm-hmm. He could have died. He's allergic to the adhesive that stuck to the fucking bunny stickers and the money or some shit. Where is the clip of... Where is the clip of... Where's the clip of... That's nothing to joke about. Of Brandon threatening Riley.

I want to see that clip if anybody has it. Clip Sama has it. Yeah. Who's Brandon? Oh, you know he got that right out of the comic book, right? Brandon is the cross-eyed... What? The, uh... you're gonna have to bounce.

Oh, really? I posted in general. Oh, really? Oh, God. Okay, yeah. Where I saw him get smashed in the face by the other... By the other guy with no dad. Yeah, I'm gonna bounce. I'm gonna need to bounce. I'm gonna need you to bounce.

You're fucking kidding me! Laser Eyes said this from the comic book? This is the bad guy, by the way. He's quoting the fucking- Nothing wrong with classic literature quotes. Yeah, he is quoting the bad guy. Bro. That's awesome.

These fucking clowns. Let me find the- let me find the video. I think I have it on the biggest problem. At least he didn't say he was gonna send in the Calvary. Yeah. I'm gonna need you to bounce. Yeah. Get outta here.

Yeah, what else did you wanna say about it? Who, me? Yeah, you. Oh, God. I have tons to say about. First of all... Alright, go ahead and let's... Shit, sorry. Let me turn it down. Alright, cause we got him up, so...

Yeah, yeah. This is the girl in the corner. Alright. Okay. The past three weeks, I've been nothing but... Oh. This is the girl's- All right. Okay. The past three weeks, I've been nothing but- Oh, this is why he's so low. Working overtime and seething about the Nick stuff and now Riley and the fucking-

Last night, I was having a great time, looking at my phone and- Yeah. All of a sudden, I see a post like, oh, someone sent a wellness check to see mint. What the fuck is that shit? I don't know. Concerned citizen.

It's funny as it, you know, they're just so, they're so angry about it. They're so enraged at me that they are trying to put mint in a mental asylum. I mean you know how it goes. Everyone hates me so much that they just try to fuck up everyone's life around me. No, I know. Yeah. Because they're such pussies. Well, they hate their dad. And I mean... But they can't do anything to you. Yeah, and I'm their dad. They can't do anything to you.

You're their dad. Yeah, it's really... Because they can't make fun of me. Yeah, either you're their dad. I'll make fun of you. Uh-oh. Yeah, right. Or Nick's their dad.

Yeah, or it's Nick. Yeah, exactly. All right, this is Riley getting confronted by Laser Eyes, the cross-eyed warehouse manager of Eric Chalai's warehouse. Somebody named him Laser Eyes? That's what he calls himself. Oh really? No, I call him that. I was gonna say.

It's like, Sean, he comes, how are you gonna fucking be intimidated by this? Would you say to me? Like, you're not Devo, bro. You know? He's metrosexual Devo. Debo. What was his name? Devo or Devo?

Devo, right? Devo, right? Devo, you know, was huge. It looked like a killer. You looked like you just stepped out of a fucking misprinted Abercrombie and Fitch ad. Hmm. Would you say to me? Would you say to me? Iitch ad. Mm. What'd you say to me?

What'd you say to me? I said your eyes are fucking, are you talking to me? Are you talking to that guy over there, bro? You can't tell who the fuck you're looking at. Let me know. Right. What did I say? I said you got fucking crossed eyes. I'm gonna fucking punch those guys, eyes straight.

That's what I said. And Riley's like, what is he, five, seven, five, six? Can you imagine? He's not a tall guy. You're a tall guy, right? Okay, let's look at, you're about Brandon's like, what is he, five seven, five six? Can you imagine? He's not a tall guy. You're a tall guy, right? Okay, let's look at, you're about Brandon size. I'm taller than average. Yeah.

Go ahead and message the girls. So this is Riley outside of the Rippaverse meetup. Yeah. Where Rippaverse fans could bring their kids to talk to the Soska sisters, the Piss Twinses girls. Got it. I'm gonna go to the park with you sisters, the Piss Twinsess girls. Got it. Uh. I'm gonna call the parking lot.

You got a basketball. Bounce me, I'm giving out ice on you. Look at how threatening he is. Yeah. This is called menacing, but you're, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to shoot somebody who does that to you in Texas. You're coming up, pulling your pants up,

and into a fighting stance like that. You could say you fear for your safety. I would fear, if I was Riley in this case, I would fear for my safety. Just don't annoy him. That's illegal. You're about this size, aren't you Sean? Imagine you in blackface, you'd look like this, right? Just like that. I'm just walking by. Who's this guy? If you hit me, that would be bad for you. Who's this guy?

Oh yeah, did he say he was going to hit him? If you hit me, that would be bad for you. If you hit me, that would be bad for you. Did he say it? He's mumbling something. I was listening to this last night. I didn't hear Brandon say it. It's tough to make out.

I'm just walking by. Let's see what he says. I'm tough to make out. Yeah. Let's see what he says. She's messaging them, giving them some candy. It's fine, you'll just have to stand off the side. Well, give me a place to stand specifically. You can stand right here. You can stand right here. You can't stand here. Where should I stand? You can stand right there. Oh man, this is the biggest Riley win that there will ever be oh

Yeah, it sucks now, but he hasn't even started responding yet. That's the best That's what they don't understand Eric's like panicking and putting all this shit out. Yeah, that's always how it works people punch themselves out Yeah, then you get to respond and the response is just devastating. That's the way the fun starts The show started on a response. Yeah, I guess it did. Max being a little cocksucker. It's like, okay, yeah, get it all out, yeah? Uh-huh. Band from UCB, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going. Uh-huh.

Okay, my turn. Yeah, yeah. Well, allow me to retort. So that was, I gotta bounce you. I'm gonna need you to bounce. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, um... Oh, anyway. Good stuff. Yeah. You know, um, oh, anyway, good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, John, before I move on, I'd like to go over a number of people who are players involved in both the Nick

and Riley situation just to so we're nowhere on the same page. Okay. Sounds good. So Aaron Emholt He's a fucking lying piece of shit Screwed he's there people are gonna be making fun of him for a while. I hope he got what he wanted out of the situation cuz Things were only to get worse for him and I can't wait to see it. Is this year like Andy Rooney like These are the people I hate list? Sure. OK, we'll go with that.

OK. April's kind of hot. I would I would have relations with her. Home record, she's guilty of loving coke a bit too much. Oh, she's a skinny blonde. Come on. I know. Nick, I have too much to say about Nick's a skinny blonde. Come on. I know Nick I have too much to say about Nick, but I'll make this quick the curse Did this? Coke he did nothing wrong and I fucking hate church gossips. Yeah

Gossipy place. I knew he was innocent the second I saw a preschool teacher Gossipy place. I knew he was innocent the second I saw a preschool teacher Accused him of beings you oh, yeah She stinks actually I've smelled her she fucking her pussy stinks from here Yeah, you can smell it people are always asking me that bitch pussy stinks. Okay, right. I've heard that right Next we got Riley. He's the man. He did nothing wrong Texas law fucking sucks because part of the harassment thing is just annoying people you can annoy people and then Have shit happen. He was fucking retarded. Yeah

Made Eric look like a bitch for all time. Yeah. Ralph is the man. I feel bad for Alex Stein. Oh yeah. I wish he would come out and actually like defend Riley because it's kind of like his whole stick. His whole stick, yeah. It is a little bit. Yeah. But you know, Glenn Beck, he's...

People need money. He's got him on a tight leash. Yeah. Yeah. Money's very important, sadly. Oh, did you know about that award that Eric got? The last one? Yeah.

Young Entrepreneur Award from some, what? The Republican... No, from the Amway organization and way the biggest scam right yeah they give they gave a shit ton of money to the the blaze other way the other way yeah blaze gave them the money didn't they give who the Amway organization. Oh, I thought it was the other way. Oh, it was the other way. They gave the blaze money and then they gave Eric the award.

I thought you were just saying Amway. It actually is Amway. No, it is. I think Glenn Beck has more fingers in this pie than people are talking about. Well, he's going to burn in hell. Good! That's all I know. I mean, all I know is he

wants to be a Jew, so I think he might like that. I don't know. Oh, I see. All right. PPP. I like to call him bean bag. How long is this list? Who's PPP? A guy that hate- Another guy that hates me. Okay. Yeah, he's dying of diabetes. I should just fill that in in my head. Yeah, just say he hates dick. Okay. And, uh, yellow flash is a word that rhymes with baggot. Baggot?

Baggot's not a word. Baggot. Could be a phrase, you know? Okay. You're also angry. You're too angry to be funny. It's like Vita. Am I? Yes.

You guys are very upset. All right. You're taking this very seriously. Should I lighten the mood up a little bit? Do you have anything light? With what? Yeah. I have a segment I like to call, whatiggles my nathers? Okay. Okay. All right

You know what really niggles my nathers guys What? The blacks, okay. All right, Nickler get out of here now Alright, Nicler, get out of here. No, I don't- Now... ... He wanted to come on. Yeah.

Alright, what? Yeah. I don't like these guys. Right. Okay? Okay. Let him think about what he's done for a minute. ...

Rev says, After thinking on the timeline some more, Dick was totally right. The show got canned. Maddox's show got canned because they realized they were working with a psychopathic PR designer. Yeah, it does make sense.

Makes sense. It makes sense. Who's suing his former coworker over nothing. That's what led to him having to stream as a banana while quietly taking five years to make a video, which is of course how long it took for him to get the rights back for his show. He held onto the documentary for the extra year

because he wanted to drop it together with the TV series on his YouTube. Yeah, I do think he did that. Yeah, the timing makes sense. And that is how a company would react to him. And also that he released the documentary and wanted to like one, two punch it, this amazing cartoon series,

after this devastating documentary that everyone made fun of. So he messed that up. Right, it was like laying waste to dick land and then occupying it. He was just going to come in and just... That was the plan. Because he was going to do all those

livestream Q&As too, remember? That didn't work out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and then you didn't do anymore. No. I would competent. And the video is nowhere to be found, right? And the video is gone. Yeah, video got pulled for stalking, weirdly. Yeah, I mean. I wanna know what kind, like I wanna know how that happened. You know, your guess is as good as mine.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Can't be putting that shit out on YouTube, doesn't like that. Yeah. You can't even make fun of fat women on YouTube. Right.

Definitely can't. Learn that one the hard way. Bringing up weird restraining order shit and put it... Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I don't know. Assisted suicide in Canada. Hey, Dick and Sean, I'm a Canadian dickhead and I just finished listening to this week's episode. I found Dick's apprehension about doctors offering assisted suicide to people who may not have otherwise

considered it to be right on the money. If someone wants to die and ask for help, great, but no one should be putting that idea in the head of someone vulnerable. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Doctors aren't even allowed to tell women to lose weight, you know? Yeah. So you definitely shouldn't be able to tell people to kill themselves. Yeah. What do you guys say to a fat woman? Well, obviously we can't tell them to lose weight making making is something of it

You know, it's it's a route I guess of you know, yeah Here's a few of the more awful Cases of people being offered in one case receiving assisted suicide. It's called made here I'm not calling it made because they they named horrible, nice things. Yeah, well, I know. So you talk about it more. Well, they just bend over backwards for an acronym, too. Maid? Like cleaning up?

Is that what it is? M-A-I-D? M-A-I-D? Yeah, I'm not calling it clean up. They leave out the word suicide to soften it. Well, yeah. I mean... They aren't committing suicide.

They're just getting assistance with dying. They're probably going to die anyway. We're just helping. The first story centers on one particular veteran who was injured in a training exercise and can't walk. She was trying to get financial aid. So she was joining the army for no reason. Well, that's a, yeah.

Training for no reason. Yeah. Can't walk. And this is Canada. Canada. Yeah, Canada. Thank God. Right. Why do they even no reason. Canada. Yeah, Canada. Thank God. Why do they even pretend to?

Canada having an army should show you that there's no point in having an army. Like it should show you that people compulsively want to waste money on armies. So that's- Just in case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was trying to get financial aid

to have a wheelchair ramp installed in her house while explaining that it was harder for her to get around and her condition was getting worse as she got older, the Veterans Affairs Committee worker, who is not a health professional of any kind, suggested that she kill herself. Jesus Christ. Well, that sounds like a little kind of rogue action.

Yes, but it encourages rogue actors too. Well, because they want to be smart doctors. Because it's almost normal. It's like, oh, well, if rogue actors too. Well, because it's... Because they want to be smart doctors. Because it's almost normal, like it's like, oh well if that's on the table... Yeah. Then have you heard about this? Have you tried? Have you thought about killing yourself? Yeah, I mean that's... Go to a doctor, they'll tell you. They might tell you.

Possibility. Doctors can't tell you to lose weight, then nobody can say it, right? You should lose some fucking weight. The doctor will tell you the same thing. The doctor will NOT tell me that! Shit! Now I can't say it! Yeah. You should lose some fucking weight the doctor will tell you the same thing. The doctor will not tell me that shit Now I can't say it. Yeah Here's another one a man with some kind of degenerative brain issue was sent to the hospital because his home care people fucked up While there the doctors the hospital director of ethics gave him a built a guilt trip about how his treatment was costing

upwards of $1,500 a day. Who's paying it? The hospital. What do you mean? It's costing me? What? You are paying yourselves! Then the ethics director threatened to have him cut off from treatment and kicked out of the hospital, in which case he'd have to pay for the treatment out of pocket. Then, if it was too expensive, the ethics director suggested that he kill himself. Okay.

Why don't you kill him first? Well, that's always the last, well, try this, do this. If that doesn't work, go ahead and kill yourself. Which actually is like the end sentence to everybody's problematic situation, right? It really is. Try this, try this, if not. Have I answered all your questions

Hey, sir, no, you didn't answer any of them Right you just fucked around with me for a half hour on your fucking AI support on your phone tree and then the wrong department shit Well, then the last check my balance the last call to check my fucking balance right last sentence on my paper says have you Considered killing yourself Put it at the end of everything. Yeah. Right. I paid my fucking, I paid my tax estimate.

Yeah. Did you? I got the email back confirmation. Now, one, never in the email confirming that you paid your tax, quarterly tax estimates, is to say thank you. Yeah. Why is it so fucking hard to say thanks for paying your taxes? Right. Thanks. We don't need your taxes. We're just printing money anyway. Well, because it I mean you don't have a choice. We don't they don't have to thank you for something Yeah, they don't want to put any power in your hand right get the idea

Anyway, like I if I don't then that might be okay What are you posting here Oh ghost politics grandson died After he caught this... Oh, Sonichu's ship. They love this fucking medallion. The stupid... That guy that raped his mom made a bunch of weird medallions. Sonichu medallions. Y- Okay. And it's... It's cursed.

Got it. So... I'll stay away. Not me. I'm saying send me all of them. Send me all the medallions. Got it. I'll stay away. Not me. I'm saying send me all them. Send me all the medallions. Got it. You know?

Send them to me. Let's go. Let's see what kind of curse this thing really is. I'm not gonna rape my mom. I've been in there once already. Once was enough for me. Not going back. Just out.

Okay. Not going in. Yeah. You know? That's a healthy way to look at it. Next one, a woman with a history of chronic depression. Yeah. Which one doesn't?

And suicidality. Went to the hospital because she was having an episode of Suicidal Thoughts. Yeah. She tells the doctor conducting her assessment that she feels like killing herself and the doctor basically told her, that's what you want we can do it. I mean I like how he's like some he's summed up all these in like a funny way. Yeah if you're if you're a doctor you're working 10 hour days right? It's like you're you're driving me crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You know you go into one

patient. If you kids don't shut up I'll make you kill yourselves. Yeah. One patient is like you know, you go into one patient- If you kids don't shut up, I'll make you kill yourselves! One patient is like, you know, he's got a piece of rebar through his head. Right, sure. Oh god, okay, then you go in the next room and it's some woman who thinks she's got like invisible fucking nanomachines on her blouse. Who's the bigger pain in the ass? Yeah, you know what? You should kill yourself. That's why we should- it should not be allowed. I'm not saying it should be illegal, but a man's brother- Here's another last one.

A man's brother is about to have a serious depression or having a bout of serious depression. Having a boot of serious depression. He has a history of chronic depression and suicidal thoughts. To be safe, the brother is checked into the hospital. The man explains his brother has periodic episodes like this, then he's probably gone off his meds. While the brother is at the hospital, the hospital staff kills him. What?

They list the reason on his made request for him as hearing loss. What? So they killed him and then said, oh yeah, he asked to be killed. Why? Hearing loss. I think what the suicide is it is something that... Bad listener. Right. Right? That's what they're saying.

Could be. Yeah, yeah. Why do you want to kill yourself? You didn't understand the question. Are you sure? Yeah. What were you asking him? Yeah.

And then what? Then you got to kill all those, you know, it's just this endless... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to kill all those guys those guys kids. They don't get to avenge them. It's just a mess. Thank you the avenging part is that Bitch always a vendetta. Yeah, always you never know you never know who's gonna come after you Sorry if this emails too long now the last point I'd like to make is so far It doesn't seem to be so much the doctors you have to watch out but the bureaucrats shocking. There you go. Love you guys don't care if you see my name. Oh thanks. See ya. Woman alert Zane says dumb woman drives a truck drives into a truck drives into a truck bay at a candle store. Win-win. Okay. Let's. I hope this is not a nine minute video.

Yeah, you know, like, that's that's kind of a fumble at the goal line. I think he thought there's probably something and he just forgot to forgot to send a time stamp or, you know, send me the good part. Yeah, I, I would have thought if he had thought about that or realized that, he would not have just left it at a nine minute video, because he's gotta go like- You'd like to think that. Yeah, I think so.

Okay, here's- Probably just an oversight. Let's see. Lady looking for a candle supply store. Yeah. Oh, she's using her GPS to find a candle. You know these women love their, they need their fucking candles. God. That does not look like, that looks like a storage lot. Like. Probably is. It says right here. That's the river. The map says.

Okay. What the. What the fuck? Okay. What the fuck? Oh, what was that? What was that? I don't know. What happened to her car? Wait, that's a loading ramp? Like, did it?

Oh, look, look, look. There's the loading ramp. See? Oh, God. She just drives into a hole. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God See? Oh God. Ah, she just drives into a hole. Ah, what was that? You drove off a fucking cliff, lady. What do you mean what was that? Right. You drove off the road. What was that? If you, that's what you would say

when you run over something Yeah, you go the opposite way of down your car flips over right? What was that? That's not the correct response. Yeah. Yeah Don't know why are we upside down? It's like don't know! What was that? I don't know! Why are we upside down? I don't know! It's like two one-off characters from King of the Hill. Are we supposed to be this way? I don't think so, but I don't know! I just turned my car up though.

Oh yeah, you did. That's not going to buff out. What in the world was that? I don't know. The bottom came out. Yeah, there was no road. Turn your car off, you idiot. That's not real. Do you know where the candle supply is? No way. That's funny video though. Yeah.

Like the road came out. California's gold. Like the bottom ca- yeah, Healhouser. California's gold. Come over here Cameron. Come in this hole with me. Would you see that? That's amazing. He has gold. Come over here, Cameron. Come in this hole with me. What, did you see that? Yeah.

That's amazing. Yeah. Oh, the loading dock? That's amazing. That is, yeah. Woman alert, advice. Maybe that's not for advice. I don't know.

That's not good, because they're all that. Hey, Dick, my girlfriend cannot do basic division. And I honestly don't know what to do. I'm in college and started dating this girl about eight months ago. We've been going pretty well, but I always knew she was kind of dumb. You're being generous.

It didn't matter to me though. You don't date women for intellectual conversation, right? I mean, no. This changed when we were talking. And for some reason I asked her what half of 50 was. Yeah. She had no answer. Do you know what half of 50 is?

I don't. After I asked again, she said 10? After a while of my interrogations, I found out that she literally just guessed every time she saw a division math problem. Well, I mean. Met this girl in college. Yeah, it's a math problem.

I'm guessing she like never guessed right. Yeah. I mean mean it'd be very That'd be a long odds to guess guess right on a math problem. Yeah, very low Yeah, I mean I get if it's multiple choice then your odds would be you know You could guess right more often, but if it's literally an answer that you have to write down You'd almost never get that right. How do you get to college without dividing shit? I don't know.

In half? I don't know. Right? Half is like the- What do you think half an hour is? That's a- have you seen people asking like what's- We had a caller about that about like what? Was it like quarter past?

Oh, and they were talking about like, no, it's 25 minutes past the hour. It's like, no, it's a quarter, no, an hour is 60 minutes. That's 15. That's a quarter hour. It was like, no, it's 25. She didn't seem to understand what the word half meant. Yeah. That's also a problem. I wanted to send you this because honestly I'm not sure about half portions. Yeah. That's also a problem. I wanted to send you this because honestly I'm not sure. You're about half portions. Yeah. Honestly, I'm not sure if I should care about this. I always knew women were dumb.

Well, it can fuck you. I mean- I always knew women were dumb, but this is kind of a whole new level I think. Yeah, this is a- That's not a, yeah, that's- Man, I've known girls like this. Really?

Like 400 on the math SATs, like I don't think you... No, just don't get the concept. Of math at all. Wow. Maybe it's, the thing with women is they can have gaps, they can have sudden and extreme gaps in their knowledge that don't affect... Like, dumbness you think of as like a general dampening of intelligence, but women it just goes like someone chopped it out.

Like someone edited it out of a movie. That's funny. So it doesn't mean she's dumb in other things. Oh yeah, well that's true. Yeah, some people, and some people, I've met, I'm trying to think, I can think of a few people- That's how possible you freaked her out by, you know?

Like she overthought it. Yeah, let's hope that. Yeah, maybe, but I know there are, there's sometimes somebody can have just where you're like, how could you never have heard of that? Like you really have, wow, like it's, like this is a totally foreign concept to you. Like it blows my mind when somebody,

it's like most people don't know a whole lot about a whole lot, but they've at least heard of it or something, they're like, oh, isn't that thing? Like, but it's like, when it's like, you don't, wow, this is, you're like an alien. Yeah, I'm lucky that I dated a grade school teacher. She's got to, you know, do a refresher on this stuff every year.

Sure. You know? Yeah. You don't have those kinds of situations. I don't have situations like this. No. Always knew what, yeah. I also think it would be very mean to break up with her

over her own stupidity, which I know she can't control. I think even animals know half. Like dogs, they know which one's bigger than the other, right? I think so. Thanks for the show. It's helped me through a lot and you are a very funny guy. We'll see if she knows it if like it's food, you know, put 50 skittles out. Yeah. Say, give me half the skittles. Right.

And then say, well, how many skills you think that is? You know, eyeball it like Rain Man go like, well, that's 20 about 25. Sometimes it's the context of like the numbers they can't imagine. But if you put it in, like, you know, if you have to see it if you get me out of you. Yeah Yeah, I think that's the how much of my dick is in you right now about half about 30% You know, you're right That's the whole thing very good by that I mean, uh-huh Okay, do I have was that all the Retarded comments. No, I missed a whole thing. Can you identify half a decade?

Yeah. How old, what was half your life? Yeah. How old was, when you were half, like you're what? You're 24 now? Yeah. When you were half of your age, what age were you? Right.

What was happening half of your life ago? She has to be able to get stuff like that, right? Sometimes it's just like, you know, wires aren't connected. I know, it's, right, or it is like, it's just, it's too abstract for their, yeah. Put a gun to her head. What's half of 50?

Sometimes people need a little- Motivation. Motivation. Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah, Okay. Good. Yeah, that's good. And then, oh, that was the last one. Okay.

Oh, is it time for Fat Watch already? I guess maybe it is. About that time. Fat Watch. A lot of Fat Watch stuff. Today in Fat News. 50 divided by two is 10. Yeah.

Get the guy to see if she has an inner monologue. Yeah, that could be fun. Yeah. You know, really milk it for what it's worth if you're gonna dump her. You might never meet someone so stupid again. So. That's, if she honestly can't come up with the answer to that, that's a, yeah. But who's the stupid one? He didn't even say how big her tits were. So, you know, maybe you're the dumb one too. Because you know you should tell me that, and you didn't. Are you sure you said 50 when you wanted her to figure out what half of that was?

Yeah, maybe... Are you sure you said the right number? Maybe you didn't say anything. Right. And she just, like, was in the car and just went, 10. 10. Right. Okay, basic division, yeah. Fat-Ucation fat youcation hey dick you can call me cronk cronk to okay cronk cronk to like what is kronk kron CK oh oh gotcha

just finished listening to episode 412 where you read about the medical school having oh man I didn't get to talk talk about the scooters and the Pride flag. Scooters and the Pride flag. Oh man, I can't save it. I gotta go back to it. Really? Yeah, look at this. Pride flag scooters. Lyft made it so you can't use their scooters on the Pride flag crosswalks. The Lime scooters will now shut down because all these kids were doing like donuts and wheelies and shit on the pride flag. Trying to like a burn you know write a dick in burnt rubber or something. I honestly don't know. Because it's just a rainbow. Like the kids probably thought it was cool looking.

So they're just like doing burnouts on it. Yeah I mean it's something because the road is black and your tires are black. So this is not cool. Oh yeah, cool. Braaah! You know? Exactly. Unless they were all molested and they're like angry about it.

Oh. You know, fuck these, you know. But I doubt it. There's no way they're not having an I was molested like skateboarder. These motherfuckers have lime scooters. Kids are going around with their phones, firing up those fucking scooters wherever they want.

Yes, sir. These motherfuckers, man. That would be awesome. Yeah, let me try to find the... So Lime responded by disabling the scooters on... Crosswalks. On a gay crosswalks. Isn't that tremendous?

How do they... Wow, that's... Here's the kids. Are they saying anything? Like FQs or anything like that? Spokane Washington. Charged with a felony? Three teens are each charged with a felony. First degree malicious mischief.

It's really cool to call the cops these days. I guess. For leaving scooter skid marks on a pride trans BLM flag on the street. Prosecutors asked for the $15,000 bond and Lime Bikes is taking action. Are these charges real? Well, I don't know how to answer that. It's insane. Is Nick going to jail for cocaine? Yes. Are kids going to jail for doing donuts on a gay pride flag in the street? I guess, yeah.

When kids... What's the fucking... What is real anymore? When kids do shit like this, it's just because, like, they're not allowed... It's... Most kids don't have, like, serious hate. You know, like, for... It's like, I hate gay people,

I hate trans people, I hate, sure, there's gonna be some, but it's funny if we do this, right? That's what a kid does. And it's a rainbow. It's fun, like it's a different color than the street. It's fun to deface, to do donuts. You can't deface the street with a black tire on blacktop.

Like that's... I don't even think Nick Fuentes is old enough to have real hate in his heart. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the guy. He held a pretty... He had a pretty Hitler-y speech going on in his... He got his conference canceled. Oh, really? really they cancelled they like pulled the building away from him

Huh, and they held like a speech outside. Oh boy But they did take your building so you know, that's I don't know These are the kids doing felony wheelies. Oh, that was it? That's the felony? Because they're trying to do wheelies. That was it. How do you leave the skid mark on that? Look, look at this.

Thelonious crimes. Oh, because he skidded with the brakes or whatever. He's turning to go up that, yeah, I mean, I guess, yeah. And then of course, every like, gay Washington Post reporter's like, hyperventilating about this. These fucking kids. Insane.

Okay. You can call me Crunk2. Just finished listening to that. Episode 412, where you read about the medical school having students read about fat liberation or whatever it was. I am in medical school to become a PA. A penis addict?

Is that what that means? PA, it's like- PA, it's a penis addict. Med school, PA. You have to go to med school for that though. The fuck is a PA? Is it. It's a penis addict. Med school. You have to go to med school for that though. The fuck is a P.A.? Is it like physical? Physical penis addict. Oh.

Uh... Shit, I don't know what that is. Physician's assistant maybe? Oh, could that... Could be. Could be. I don't know. Yeah.

And we had something similar where we had classes on videos of fat people crying. Hahahaha! Wow, we're doing like curriculum here. on videos of fat people crying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha how they were abused by their doctor's offices that didn't have the right sized blood pressure cuff. Scale that could handle their weight. So the funny thing about Super Size Me was how skinny everybody was. Yeah. In 2004? Oh yeah.

The documentary. It's like look at how fucking fat everyone is. Yeah, I understand. They're like normal. Non-comparison. They're like Homer Simpson fat. Right. You know? Not, not. Just obese. Yeah, I understand. They're like, normal. Not in comparison. They're like Homer Simpson fat. Right. You know? Not, not, um... Just obese. Yeah. Not morbidly... Not cattle scale necessitating fat. Yeah. Um... Where we had classes, yeah, yeah, fat people,

a scale that could handle their weight or how embarrassing it was when someone had to be sent to the zoo to get a CT scan. Yeah. Most of the people in our class thought this was a waste of time given that obesity has been linked to a 20% increase in all cause mortality. It is also associated with a 50 to 400% increased likelihood of at least 14 different types of cancer. Man, if women can't do half,

that explains a lot about like voting and explaining shit to them. Hmm. Like, well, you know, there's like a like that's gonna make like, you know, mortgage rates go up by like 3 percent. Like, wow, so. That's- So is that- That sounds- is that bad? Is that 10? Yeah, is that bad?

Is that 10? Yeah, it's not 100%. Right. I just finished a four week long clinical experience with a bariatric surgeon where I saw patients with a BMI all the way up to 75. There's a newer theory about overweight and obese people. It basically says that when people get overweight,

their body changes something that they call a set point to a new weight. And that's how they explain why it's so difficult for overweight people to maintain weight loss. I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that. It seems to have some biological and behavioral aspects similar to substance addiction. Makes sense also. I'll leave that to keep the email short, but I'm happy to offer more information if you want. Feel free to read this on the show. Yeah, yeah. That's interesting.

I've heard the same things. That their body adjusts to like being a big fat fuck. Yeah. And the addiction aspect and everything. That's pretty clear. Fat Watch, Cole. You got to check out this ad. Okay Let's see what we got here Do do

Do do do oh My Eli Lilly commercial Called shame obesity is a matter of health. Shame has no place in it. Why is the whole thing blue? Blue whale? Just the way it's sh- She looks like that guy who fucking ate all those supplements and turned himself blue.

The Smurf? Yeah, yeah. Uh... What was he- Colloidal Silver. Yes, thank you. Yeah. Okay. Eli Lilly commercial called Shame. Yes, thank you. Yeah, okay.

Eli Lilly commercial called Shame. Obesity is a matter of health. Shame has no place in it. It's been here as long as I can remember. Living in glances of people I loved. And ones I didn't even know. Ha ha! Why do they got a black guy on a subway looking at her? Come on!

Well, and what's- she could have gotten a date! Yeah, that's what I mean! And he's like giving her elevator eyes. Okay, is this her walking down the hallway? Clearly not. What is this- what is this look this woman's giving? Judgmental. She's like, oh, she's eating all the cake.

I fucking knew it. It looks like she almost wants to laugh or something. Let's see what she gets. This bitch is fucking eating all of our food, man. What is going on here? What does that look say to you? I don't know. I'm gonna rape you. Kind of.

Uh oh. There she is. What is? Oh no, now they have her diving into a pool? She's riding the bus and then a wave- Wave crashes over it. Is this like a, was this directed by Twin Peaks guy? Right, David Lynch. David Lynch? Yeah.

And then a wave comes and washes the building away. Uh, I guess. Obesity, and what did it say? Obesity is about health? Yeah, is a matter of health, yeah. So, but what they- What the fuck is this? What are you talking about? But what they are saying is like,

I mean, if you take it one way, it's like, hey, yeah, it's a matter of health. Like, get your feelings out of it. Yeah. Like, cause it's not how it should be, right? It's like, hey, do you do you want to die action? What is the fucking action item in this? I don't know commercial I don't know they check out their check out their weight loss drugs Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's obviously what it is about shame

What shame can do for you? a Medicine company. Yeah, okay I've never seen drug addiction treated like that. Do do, or they just show a guy doing heroin on a bus. It's like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's more like a frying pan smashing all your stuff. You're fucking up, you're fucking up, you're fucking up, you're fucking up, you're fucking up.

This is all Dick's fault. Can you believe that? What's that, that it's all your fault? Are you trying to take Mint away from Riley? They're so jealous that Mint is hot, like, you know. I can believe it. Yeah, they're so jealous that Mint is hot. Like, you know. I can believe it. Yeah. They're so jealous of Riley and Mint's relationship that they're just attacking it

from every angle to make it seem like anything more than it's just two people's relationship. I was really- It's nothing different or unusual. I was really thinking about, like I was really thinking about, you know, George and his ilk and like this whole type of behavior, I think, is kind of the same thing.

And I realized that these people who are so quick to call your job or to try to take that away. Call the cops. It's, they- This is something he tweeted. It's because they- Oh, 911? A lot of them-

A lot of them tweeted this? A lot of them cannot recognize what what value is like in a person. Like they don't have like jobs and stuff. They're so quick to take your job because they have nothing to contribute. They have no discernible talent or worth. So it's like, yeah, we'll just take the job away from them. Yeah, fuck them.

They don't know what, they don't know what it is. It's a win for me. Yeah. What about for them? I don't care. But they- It's good for me. Fuck them.

Yeah, they don't get it. They can't recognize it. So they treat it like it's nothing. Yeah. It's like, dude, people will kind of go crazy. If you take away something, maybe that's all they have for for your own Fucked up reasons in your own on your own head that you take no responsibility for

I'm just you know I go back to my you know you do that kind of shit You you're signing up for a lot of stuff that you never thought you might be signing up for who's Who's to say who takes what too far? Just think about it. You're stuck in this forever now. Eric and all these fucking idiots that are trying to red flag mint. Like they want red flag laws

for a woman acting kind of retarded online, which I don't think is a good precedent. Like we gotta get the government in there. You guys are, now you're in this forever. Do you not, you don't understand what that is. Like Eric's out every day trying to lie more about Riley. Look at he's on his, he on his, he on his. Like bro, no one believes it.

Well, you have to keep, yeah. No one, no one thinks you're threatened by this guy. You gotta keep pushing it and hope that, you know... Yeah. It's like, hmm. Nah. I don't think that's gonna work. Okay.

Chibis says, check this Reddit post out. I don't know if that ad's gonna work. I'll be honest. Nah. I don't know if that ad is better than another Frappuccino. Oh. Frappuccino for the win. My fiance's air filter installed during her service last year at the Perry's dealership in the UK.

What? Somebody installed this air filter and they just pulled it out of their car. It says, you are... Oh my God. They wrote that on it. That's... On our air filter. That's outrageous. Okay, and Masked Bastard. Let's see here. The boat. Oh, this is quite a cruise Wow It's the good ship lollipop what do we get one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

eleven twelve twelve women on here. Probably 40 tons on the bow of this boat. Yeah. I don't know where they're stationed out of. Off the coast of Japan, probably. That's a rough one. That's rough stuff, guys.

Alright, this has been the Dick Show. Patreon.com slash Dick Show. Anybody else want to call in here? Some guys posting, you know, pornography. Okay. All right. See you next Tuesday. Yeah. Okay.

Another arrest. Presenting Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!

Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!

Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick! Riley and Eric are locked together now. Eric doesn't understand, but Riley are now locked together. Anything Riley does. It's not what he's going to want.

Right. Eric has to respond to it. I know. He's chosen the path of most resistance rolling. Yeah. And I'm afraid for my life. And I don't think that's a winning path because we know you're not. Yeah when you're just you feel compelled to respond immediately.

Yeah. Somebody's got to you know it's like settle down. Yeah don't say that. It's like when. Don't call that guy an N word. You know when when when an ump makes an obviously piss poor call on a strike three Yeah, you know and and the player goes ballistic the what's the first thing they need a manager to get in there and say hey Yeah, take him away. I don't I don't need him suspended for multiple games cuz he's hot like you want to kick me out of the game

That's fine. I know I'm not gonna hit you. Yeah, this guy's pissed off. He fucking might he might get him out of there somebody needs to tell Eric Think stop stop stop stop just for a second. It's too late if you if you want to in Half an hour you can do you can say everything that you fucking just Count to ten please send the police a picture of novelty scissors man. Yeah, whatever you do Don't send that don't go online and say you have a security team when you're just some fucking YouTube idiot yeah like selling two million dollars of comics right you don't have a security team we all we all know that that's insane that's like for rock stars have yeah sure millions of you know millions and millions of dollars

yeah doing tours right They have security. You don't have shit. Right. Okay. We'll see how it develops when Riley starts answering, responding. Okay. You know, the big show,

I've been generally watching all this stuff going on. I'm excited about Medicare stream this weekend. Yes. Boy, you know, honest day. And the Roketa thing, whatever, like, I think it's a cautionary tale thing. The only thing that's really been pissing me off about Roketa, I've never liked Roketa. Oh. I've never liked a guy.

But you know, everyone seems to be thoughtful and people like him so I show up. But I think guys like what you like. But he, something a guy but you know everyone seems to be thought-per on people like him so I shut up but I think guys like me like but he Talking about him, you know Really see it as Best when we're kid is talking about how I'm not drinking any alcohol anymore. No drop. It's easy for me Oh, it's easy for you. Oh, you're fucking amazing That that line right there. It's easy for me with that nasally, smarmy fucking attitude.

Now I know you're in trouble. Now I know you're fucking you're in internal strife. Like I couldn't believe now I'm starting to believe all the rumors because that fucking attitude, that fucking attitude betrays so much internally to me. Man, I just do not like that guy. I mean, it is true that generally people who take something to an extreme and then go, yeah, no problem. You know, that's usually not the case.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I can't. Yeah. I can't. I think that's an important survival mechanism. Oh yeah, maybe it's just done for a reason. Yeah, I can't quit it,

but I'm gonna keep it in this little box, try. Yeah, yeah. You know? I have a problem, so I'm not buying in bulk. Yeah, there you go, right. That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah. All right, okay. What's up, F Slur? That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah Okay

What's up, F slur? It's a gangbang guy here. I am sitting at a bar Right next to a female and I'm doing every single IQ quiz Dick has told me okay. You did have told me She got every single war wrong except for World War II. Every other war happened in 1870 or 1890. She knows the sun and the moon are different, but she doesn't know what the moon is. She used to work with Hottest and now she is a volunteer CMS fighter fighter guy woman not a guy. Now that's not intelligence no idea what

she's gonna do. Name the planets that's the other one. Name the planets. But it's amazing. The planets. She's pretty deep. She's like five. I'm looking at her right now. Her feet touch the bottom of the stool. She's probably like 5'4", 150. Not ideal. But she's funny.

When I'm making fun of her for being stupid, she laughs at herself. It's good. But at the same time, her friend, male friend, is sitting to her left. And every time I get a little too deep, I said, can you tell me the difference between the sun and the moon? She said, no, I don't know.

And then has not looked at me for the last few minutes. Actually, she just looked at me, but I had to play it cool and pretend I was watching a hockey game. That's cool. In the USP fight. Yeah, yeah. Bitch, I don't have time for you. I'm watching hockey.

Okay? I hate women. Cool you, Jets. They should not be allowed to vote or control the reproductive system. Jesus. They're fucking reproductive system. Jesus. They're fucking retarded. Okay. All right. All right. All right. They're a little strong at the end there.

Yeah. See half a 50. Yeah. When was Vietnam? 1870? That's the same. 1010 was Vietnam. What's the difference between the sun and the moon? I don't know. Yeah. You should at least, you know. The sun is 10 times bigger.

You can't get a moon burn. Everything's 10. Yeah. Right. You should have something to say know. The sun is 10 times bigger. You can't get a moon burn. Everything's 10. Yeah, right. You should have something to say. Did they ever get a moon burn? Yeah. Okay.

Let's see here. How about this one? Hey, Dad. Hey, Sean. Yo. So I got a quick little rage for you. Okay. City of Atlanta.

So I'm in the Army. my girlfriend's in the army, first and foremost, fuck the troops. Wow. But yeah, so I'm, as we speak, finishing up a 19 and a half hour drive from Fayetteville, North Carolina to San Antonio, Texas to see her, but at but with time with her because she's in paramedic school right now. And the most direct route takes you south from Fayetteville on the I-95 into Atlanta. You go through the interchange and then you. get stuck in stop and go traffic for an hour minimum. B. I'll get to NAPA numerous times by the piece on the shit box or whatever.

Or C. all of the above because nobody in in this 50-mile-long shithole knows how to fucking drive. Yeah, I've noticed that about the South and Texas. Texas has really terrible traffic. Do they? It's like a joke, their traffic. Like they don't even know what the freeways are for there. Very good.

Okay, let's see. This one. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. Just finished working out. Not beating off. Nice. The original biggest problem. I think I'm on 17. Oh, wow.

It's just, it's insane how much of an idiot Maddox is. I mean, he says, you know, welcome to the biggest problem and then immediately follows up with Maddox, follows up with, hi, I'm Maddox, because you want that name recognition, because he's such an idiot. He's got nothing else going for him besides this fucking stupid ass book that for somehow took off, for some reason took off. His book blows. He's got this fucking show, which you were obviously carrying the entire time. And then he says, recovering all the problems in the world from ants to aides Normally you say when you're setting up something like that you go a to Z. Yeah from ants to Zulu warriors

He goes and fades what a complete moron. That's as always got no patreon and you're sitting at 20k So great, I remember you when you said that the first time. From ants to AIDS. Oh, that's amazing, man. Weird goes off in my head, yep. And it's just, he just... Good job. I mean, like... A Yogi Berra cannot compete. Like any of those, or Samuel Goldwyn, or any of those people who are really known for those.

If only he had like a little bit more of a sense of humor about himself. No, no. Ants to AIDS, how stupid. Yeah. You know? What about your lawsuit? Yeah, that was dumb. Yeah.

Yeah, I got hoodwinked by that fucking, that goddamn lawyer. It humanizes you if you admit to stuff like that. Everyone knows you fucked up. Yeah. Just say you fucked up. Right. Yeah. I wish I didn't do that.

Yeah. Because it didn't help. But I had that to do again. I wouldn't yeah I would do things differently But he probably never will he should but he never will Hey, they've been better rates for you. It's a hatchback car design. I Know they are more practical than the standard sedan design. I think they look like fucking shit Your likes of space pod pretty cool pretty funky They are more practical than the standard sedan design. I just think they look like fucking shit. A hatchback?

Your Lexus SpacePod, pretty cool, pretty funky. Your Fiso, Mexican black truck. Yeah. Classic, you can't go wrong with that. Is this Marvin the Martian? I just saw another Lexus, it's a hatchback. And I just think it looks like the worst fucking design possible. I never really liked

right now as well, of course, but Lexus is bad and they attacked the most annoying Late teens early 20s drivers of all time Taking fucking Japanese stickers on that shit. I'm fucking a Japanese It always sounds like fucking, Bad, bad boy club or whatever. Some bullshit like that. I don't know. I just fucking hate hatchbacks.

I don't drive them usually. Anyways, go fuck yourself, Sean. I love you. Hates hatchbacks. I got nothing about hatchbacks. I don't like most of them. I get the functionality. I guess I just don't feel that strongly about hatchbacks not as strong as he does. They're for just like piling shit in your car right? Yeah.

Station wagon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Okay All right, how about this one? Hey, Dick. Hey Sean Sean. Joe Pell, DP. Yo. Dick, 80s girl is a teacher. Does she try and convince you that she works just as much as every other person with a 40-hour-a-week job? I'm sure she knows better than to try to convince. Convince?

I don't know what kind of men's wife is a math teacher, and somehow she has got this girl math in her head to where she actually works more than a full-time job, and it's about 365 days a year even though she gets about two and a half months off. I mean, I wouldn't want to do it. I mean, there's less than you know, you gotta think you're constantly thinking about how to do something. You have to go back to class with your parents and get all that stuff ready. It takes the entire summer.

I told her I have never seen you go in unless it's like three days before. You put school and everything out of your mind, it's your whole fucking summer, like, oh, I can't even think about that. I need the summer to recuperate. But when it comes down to me saying, hey, I just worked a 40 hour a week, I don't want to do this, you go, well, I work a 40 hour a week too in the summer.

It's like, fuck you. See you next Tuesday. His wife is saying what, I work a 40 hour a week too? In the summer? In the summer, but it- Oh,-hour week too? Yeah, in the summer? In the summer? Oh, she can't even think about school during the summer. Yeah. It doesn't seem like a fun job.

I don't think they deserve any more money. I think they're getting plenty of money, but it doesn't seem like fun. No, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure it's not fun. I'm sure that, you know. Because they can't just tell the parents, like, because, you know, the kids are, it's like 50-50, right? Like half the kids,

half the time the kids are saying is right. And half the time the teacher's bad, right? The kids are right. And then the parents come in and complain. It's like half the time the parents are fuckheads, half the time they're right. Yeah. There's just so much incompetence in it.

And then they got to deal with the, they got to deal with the administrators all the way up. Like LAUSD, totally incompetent. Well, and totally corrupt. the way up. Like, L.A. U.S.D. totally incompetent. Well, and totally corrupt. Totally corrupt. That's, yeah. The real problem is teachers can't just say, why don't you go fuck yourself?

Yeah. I don't care, all right? I'm here, I'm doing the same, I'm teaching the same shit that all the other kids are hearing, and your kid is the only one that came home and had a fucking problem with it. You don't like it?

Go home school them. But you can't. You can't, because? Go homeschool them. But you can't. You can't, cause you voted for this shit. Cause you voted for stupid shit. So I have to be here, but they can't say that. They gotta do like this weird, the worst part of it for me would be the sales rep part, like the account manager part that they all have to do.

Got it, yeah. Oh, his parents are upset. Tell them to go fuck themselves. Well, no, I know. What do you want me to do? The politics of it. Yeah. Oh, his parents upset. Tell him to go fuck themselves. What like well, no, I know Oh, what do you want me to do? The politics of it? My kid came home and this happened. Yeah, I don't know. You must really you have to listen to some fucking stupid shit Also deal with people who think they're not and then every once in a while there's a fucking pedophile. It's like well, yeah It does. Yeah, sneak in there. I stopped that pedophile.

Oh, did you get like a medal for that? No. You get punished if you don't, if you miss one. Oh wow, what a great system. Good times. You know? It's the, the incentives are all fucked up. Yeah.

Like if teachers could say, if we could say, okay teachers, we're not gonna give you any more money, but you can tell every parent to go fuck themselves. You get one go fuck yourself a year. Dude, that's... Teacher go, no problem. That's actually... Well, what?

I was like, oh, you can't be told to go fuck yourself? Yeah. There's a 50, 50% chance that you are a fucking idiot. Just watch their world shatter. I know, I've had a long life, I've met a lot of people. At the end of it, I can say say about if you're crying about something, there's a 50-50% chance that you are the fucking idiot in this situation. I know, man. You would tell the same story as someone who's not an idiot, you'll tell the exact same story and I go, I don't know if you're right or not.

I think you probably fucked up. and I go, I don't know if you're right or not. You're saying stuff that seems right. I think you probably fucked up. I think you probably fucked up. You had an unreasonable expectation. I think you're fucked up and your kids are fucked up. I think something is fucked up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we can't do that for some reason, you know?

Yeah. Even though property tax are paying for it. Right. Yeah, tell them, just tell them, they can say go fuck yourself once or twice. God, that really would be a selling point to some people where it's like they just got to get it out. Because in the next year the parents like I got told the teacher used her go fuck yourself on me again. Yeah.

What the fucks we got to change this system. I think the system's working man. Yeah. Yeah. You got two go fuck yourselves. You got told by fourth and fifth grade teachers. If you get three go fuck yourselves before you get to high school, we get to kill you. Right. Someone's gonna come around and fucking hold your head in the toilet. Think about it, because they only have one go fuck yourself a year. And they save it up till the end. Why don't you use it right away?

They gotta know. To scare them. But then again, it's like shit, I should have used it on them. And now I'm probably not gonna get the opportunity. You got next year, don't worry about it like shit I should have used it on that and now I'm probably not gonna get the opportunity next year. Don't worry about I really should have used it Another fuckhead next year. Don't worry about it. Yeah, but they're teaching about about gay stuff who fucking cares. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah Christ so so get rid of it then so stop having school. Well, I mean we have to have school we don't stop having kids All right, goodbye, thank you