The Dick Show - Episode 416

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

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And it's all over. It's all over. Is it? Yep. All over but the... Cats. Any possums today, boys? Cats. Cat day and a fat guy day. Cat, the fat guy's cock. They've posted some possum pictures that were not quite as hideous as, you know, most of the ones that I've seen or experienced. They had one in there where they're petting a possum like a dog.

Oh no. Apparently they can be, you know, kind of the ones that I've seen or experienced. They had one in there where they're petting a possum like a dog. Oh no, apparently they can be, you know, kind of sweet pets. Well, yeah, I guess if you probably hand raise them, but they, you know, what's kind of kind of sad is they have a super short lifespan. I think we talked about this. It's only a couple of years for a, well, yeah. For a big man, for a big.

Only a couple of years? How'd they get that big for a couple of years? They grow real fast. Like two, maybe three years tops. Yeah. For a big man, for a big... Only a couple of years. How'd they get that big for a couple of years? They grow real fast. Like two, maybe three years tops. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Really?

Okay. You'd think they would last longer, but... I would. I would think they'd last about 12 years. Yeah, because like... Because they look like rats. Right. Well, cause a rat can last... How'd they look so ugly in two years? Rat can last a few years, you know? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. What do you think about this dragon? I think it's cool. Although I do see the head bobbling. Did somebody glue it back on? Or is it? I don't know what it, it's broken. I don't know.

I don't want to fuck with it because then fucking with it, I'm going to make it worse. There's probably a piece of wire inside or something. There is a piece of wire. Yeah. Is this streaming now? Are we streaming? Dragon.

I think so, yeah, there we go. Dragon. I better not be the only retar- oh yeah, okay. No, I see other retards in there, Jim. Don't worry about it. Perched on a skull. Are those- Are those like bullets? Bullets?

Yeah, like a... That's what Nick Krakate is using to do his cocaine. Oh really? That's how you do it. Yeah, I don't... It looks like it lights up too, but I don't know. There's like something weird going on in the eyes. I think those are just teeth. Like busted up teeth. Really? But the ones over on the, like, are just teeth like busted up teeth. Really? But the ones over on the like go to your go to your right. Right here? No the

other side. Oh there's a hair on it. I hope that's mine. Yeah like see how this almost looks like they're curved now but see how it steps down almost like a like a you know. You know I gotta tell you this skull on it makes the dragon seem a little bit less intimidating. It does because the skull is so goddamn big. Yeah. Or that's a- Is this like the spinal tap of- Is this a stone hinge of dragons? Or it's-

Give me a ferocious dragon stepping on skulls. No, look, this says inches. Wait a minute, I meant skulls. So the dragon is like huge. Not- this dragon is like one foot long. This is not intimidating at all. Well, you should have been more specific. Crushing skulls, right?

The problem may have been that we have a Stonehenge monument in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Well, I guess it's not, what I said about the statues is not true. There's one statue that made it here, okay? Ooh. This is a cursed amulet. Is that like a, it's sort of a Pikachu or something?

It's a bit Pikachu. What else does it remind you of? Pikachu. Sonic? That's right. You're absolutely right. Yeah. For a guy who knows next to nothing about either.

Now flip him around, Sean. It's Sonic, Sonichu. Sonich Sean. It's Sonnichu. This is a Sonnichu medallion. Yeah. That guy, that autistic guy that raped his mom. Oh God. Made these en masse, I guess, and sold them before he, perhaps during the rape or after the rape, I don't know.

You know what? If there's any defense needed, you just go in with it. You're like, your honor, this is autism squared. Chris Chan was his name. The guy that that Noel started his site for to document this guy. Well, sure paid off, I guess. And yes, it's cursed.

It is. So if anything bad happens to you, it's the fault of the amulet, you know. That's what everybody's talking about the last couple weeks. The Sonichu curse medallion. Yeah, because I haven't seen it. And they managed to send me, I don't know if this affects the curse, but they managed to send me one, I noticed this right away, upon pulling the Sonichu medallion out of the envelope.

Yeah. I put it on on the Biggest Problem episode on Friday. Oh, you did? I put it on, but the fucking cameras, all the power and the internet cut off as I was putting it on. Man, you're fucking with something there. That's...

Can you believe that? So I did put it on, but the cameras cut out, crazy enough, before it was completely on. The cameras cut out right as I was was right as it was crossing the threshold. You should probably put that thing down. Well, I'm gonna tell you something else about it that's definitely gonna make you think I should put it down. Okay. And I noticed this right when I pulled it out of the envelope. Really?

You know, I was excited to get it. Yeah. Because it's a magical cursed item. There's a gem inside here that people don't know about, but I do. Yeah, so he- I have three gems. He made a bunch of those and sold them, gave them out. In between rapes, yeah. I don't know how much he- And I have three gems. He made a bunch of those and sold them, gave them out.

In between the rapes, yeah. I don't know how much he originally sold them for him. There's a decompression kind of time in between, you know what I mean? That's like serial killers, there's a cooling off period. Between the rapes, where they don't need to do, where they can spend their time on their hobbies, like clay, sculpting, making and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, or sodomizing corpses. You know, you can't kill stuff. Yeah, yeah. We're sodomizing corpses. You know. You can't kill all the time, Dick. Sometimes you gotta dig somebody out of the deep freezer. I know you guys really love this curse, but my curse goes far deeper. My power goes far deeper than mother raping. Really? It's a little...

I like to call it alcoholism. Oh. As far out way as your gay internet curses. But anyway, as I was pulling... Look, the back isn't even straight. Well, no, I know. I could see he was like he just kind of thumbed some more clay over a... Maybe it was concave or something.

People are wondering if it's real. If this was fake, the back would be straight. The back would be flat as though this were built on a table like a normal man, not constructed totally in 3D space with autistic fingers. Right. Have you ever seen Chris-chan? No. You've seen a picture of her

or it's a woman now? No way, really? I feel like, I feel like I feel like a You can't you can't make us buy into all the trans shit though I feel that's offensive to trans people if you say Chris Chan is trans though cuz something right I mean come on the mom raping And this shit. I mean you can't like It's gotta be mental illness right or some point are some people just really mixed up. Yeah, I think so At some point it's gotta be mental illness, right? At some point.

Are some people just really mixed up? Yeah, I think so. Guys raping his mom, ladies raping her mom. At some point we gotta say, okay, this is the line. Nothing after this. I think that you can- You were born in 1985, we're gonna card you for cigarettes.

That's the deal, all right? I think you can have a lot of things going on up there. Yeah. What I noticed when I first pulled it out, the envelope, as I was saying, I was excited to get the curse, be part of the conversation. People, so many people got together,

many famous people got together on their YouTube streams this week and talked about how irrelevant I was once again. Oh, how irrelevant? You have a lot of air time for irrelevant. All the famous people reached a consensus together on their shows publicly that I am once again, and for all time, totally irrelevant. I said, okay.

Yeah, what brought this on? Just, do you have an unpopular stance? Because everyone's pissed about Eric July. Everyone is pissed about Eric July getting Riley thrown in jail for domestic violence laws. Texas has laws that were set up to protect abused women. Husbands that are calling them obsessively, we've got to do something to stop these husbands from

harassing women. Those are the laws that Eric July used to get Riley arrested. Repeated communication, electronic communication. That's for like obsessive calling at home and work. It's not for tweeting a guy that you're gonna climb up a hill until you're thin enough to shave his shoulders. That's not what that's for, Eric, you pussy.

It's very funny. Riley needs money, freeriley.fund. I got a host, I got a host of fundraiser for Riley. He needs 15 grand for the lawyer to defend himself against the menace and the coward Eric J. Against the fatherless menace that is Eric J. That's what he needs. And he's got a good lawyer.

The lawyer called Eric J. a pussy. That's the one. Really? Oh yeah, a woman. Yeah, this guy's a fucking pussy. Ooh. Damn. You had my interest, madam. Now you this guy's a fucking pussy. Ooh. Damn. You had my interest, madam.

Now you have my, whatever that is. I don't know which one it is, cause it makes no sense. You've grabbed my erection, but now you have my attention. You had my attention, now you have my erection. That's better than the one they had in Django. Yeah.

You had my attention, ma'am, but now you have my erection. Yeah. Right? Cause it rhymes too. At some point they overlap. So I had a bad day yesterday. I'll get into that. What's the most time you've ever seen a woman

spending on parking? Cause I clocked this one. Well, that one time I was late when it was a big rig that the woman was trying to back up on the- Oh, that sounds spicy. One time I was late when it was a big rig that the woman was trying to back up on the... Oh, that sounds spicy. Yeah, I mean, that took a while. I mean, that's not really fair.

We're talking more cars. We're talking about a big rig. This is a car. Exactly. You know? I mean, the most time... The most amount of time. Well, I mean...

Minutes or hours, perhaps, if that's your... It seems like hours. It's probably a woman still parallel parking for the first time I mean, I have definitely seen like an old woman do like a Probably like a I don't know. I'm trying to exaggerate like a six or seven point turn Oh, just seven point just like backing up and going could this was a six or seven minute No turn into one parking space. She got out fucking twice.

Got out? She got out of her car twice to check the lines. And neither, I've never, I don't know what was going through her head while she was checking the lines. What's she looking for? What's she looking for out of the car that wasn't good in the car?

Not sure. You know, you get out and you're like, ah, yeah, that's about, ah, that's a little, I thought it was a little far off. Did she get out and just go, whoa, I'm totally fucking flummoxed. This is way far off than what I thought it was. Cause she took a fucking, should you not? Six or seven minute turn. Wow. So the cops show up for Nick Ricada getting wild on a stream.

They say, I'm trained in cocaine. You're going down buddy. No man ever acts like this. But I see a woman parking for seven minutes and nothing? I could call 911 all day. Hey, officer, there's a woman parking for seven minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that my wife? She had to run to Target today. You might-

Make sure she's not having a stroke. Yeah, tell her to pick up some charcuterie. As I was saying, I was pulling this Pilates. Oh yeah, Pilates. Thank God we made it through. You said that parking lot is a fucking disaster. It's a disaster and the women make it worse. And then my girlfriend parked, you know,

and she parks in this most fucked, the lines, it's like slanted diagonal parking. Yeah, yeah. She's supposed to pull in, right? And she pulls in like, and totally oversteers it. Oh, gotcha. Like, straight out. I'm like, this is a fucking horrible parking job.

She's like, it's fine. Shut up. I'm like, okay. So then we get in after class, you know, that woman finally leaves. We get in after class and she goes, zoop, backs up. She goes, this is why I park like that. So I can just do as quick backup and then go out. Like, do you know how fucked up that is? Like, now I understand why this parking lot's so fucked

because all of you are- So you don't think it's an- Are fucking Adam Smithing your way through this park- you're all taking little fucked up shortcuts. You don't think it's incompetence. I thought it was incompetence but they're being incompetent on purpose! Planned incompetence! Oh! You cracked the system! No one would have ever- anyway. So I pull this thing out of the envelope.

Right. And I'm excited to be part of the curse and the conversation. And you got this when? I got this on Friday. Oh, okay. Somebody paid 50 bucks for it, I think. Wow.

And I pull it out, and you're never gonna guess what I see in the back of it to just, to crush my excitement. I ain't touching that fucking thing. That's a, what is that Sean? That's a little tiny curly hair embedded in the. Yeah, it is. It's a fucking pub.

I have a mother rapers pub in my cursed medallion. Doesn't that kind of. Think might need to be evidence. I might as well be jacking Chris Chan off right now. This is, I'm the closest to his cock. It sure seems like it. Her cock. I'm the well be jacking Chris Chan off right now. This is, I'm the closest to his cock. It sure seems like it. Her cock. I'm the closest to her cock.

Right. Than anyone's ever been, except for her mom. Right. This is fucking, does this make the curse worse or better? It's a fucking pubic hair from a rapist, from an insane rapist. I don't want that. Nobody wants that. Yeah. What's, what's Yeah, what's the status on, is he going to trial or is he in trouble for the raping or?

I don't know. Yeah. We don't have time for multiple laws, that many lawsuits on the thing. Got it. All right, let's do the show. Presenting a pub. Imagine my-

Looks like it. Imagine you open the Necronomicon and there's a pub in it. So I send it, well this, this sucks. Kinda undermines the whole thing. Kinda underm like it. Let's imagine you open the necronomicon and there's a pub in it You want to get it you got it show runs kind of it's a show reference a contest can be live from mountain bugger Deep in the heart of city feel me a host stick bash soon Okay, the 20 million dollar man for me is world world touring LA based comedian Shawnee audio engineer. Hello. It's a key ring for the pendant That's how low rent the shit is it's a key ring painted yellow That's not just to like hang on a wall by a little Brad or something It's but it's using a key ring like the shoddiest crummiest

Yeah, low rent bargain basement material say that would be a- Insight into autism. Get the- I mean, that's a fucking pub, man. I don't want a fucking pub hanging on the wall. No. It's gr- It ruined it. Yeah. Imagine you open the Ark of the Covenant and there's a bunch of pubes in it. Yeah.

I mean, you're like, oh, come on, guys. Come on, man. Supposed to be some sacred thing, like- This is supposed to be a curse. Yeah. Not a fucking fleshlight. You know? What kind of curse has a pub in it?

What kind of cur- is that the curse? That sounds like a- What kind of curse has a pub in it? It's like something you'd have to, the ingredients you'd have to gather for a witch. A pub? Yeah, why? Eye of Newt?

Oh, a pub from a rapist? Yeah, a wart from a toad. We need a pub from a mother rapist. Yeah, you're in luck right buddy, buddy boy. Have I got news for you? So happens Vito flipped out. He's I've never seen him move that fast really yeah He jumped oh yeah, cuz he saw it come out of the curse. Yeah, like a like a monkey who discovers a snake He was right in the middle of a lecture about Christianity and how stupid it was. Then he leapt clear out of his seat

when he saw the magical curse on a chair. That's great. Yeah. Ah, yesterday was, what was it, about 10,000 degrees outside yesterday? Well, it's 15,000 today, if yesterday was. It was one or two degrees hot, cooler yesterday, hotter today, and my girlfriend goes,

let's go to a Taste of Japan festival. I said, Taste of Japan festival? You don't say, let me guess. Cement, asphalt on the ground, middle of the day, no coverings of any kind. She said, how did you know? And I said, because I've been cursed. That's how I knew.

I've been cursed for a long time. I know exactly how it goes. Actually, I'm grateful my life will finally start living up to how cursed I am, you know? So she says, yeah, how'd you know all that? And I said, oh, you know, just a feeling. She goes, what do you think? I said, I'm in.

I'm in for one reason. And that's that wagyuyu that wagyu beef. Yeah. You ever had a wagyu beef skewer? I've had what they call, now I think they actually can import it now, but like- Don't spoil it for me. For a long time stuff that was wagyu or Kobe was not- we were never getting that in this country. I'm talking about A5, wagyu, like fucking butter man.

Oh man. Yeah. Oh, like fucking butter, man. Oh man. Oh, like fucking butter. I stood out there, I waited in line for 40 minutes. I've never been happier to wait in line with my girlfriend. It was tender. And I was right about no shade. No shade at all.

So sweating angrily. Sweating angrily. But you're waiting for hot meat. Bunch of fucking clowns dressed like Naruto running around. The Japanese street fair. Oh man, I can't, I don't even care. I'm just zoned out thinking about this fucking meat skewer. It was a skewer?

Mm-hmm, it's a Wagyu skewer. She goes, that'll be $48. I said, I've never been, I've never paid, I've never happily paid for anything. I wish it was more. Keep the whole 50. Make it to, switch this, make the mortgage of my house this much, 48 bucks, and then I'll pay that, I'll pay you whatever. There you go. For this, and I'm in was more. Keep the whole 50. Make it to switch this to make the mortgage of my house this much, 48 bucks and then I'll

pay that. I'll pay you whatever for this and I'm in. And then it hit. Hugh Jackman seeing his first penis. Oh man, it's good stuff. It's like a hundred bucks a pound at Costco. It's probably not even, it's probably like you're saying, sham meat.

No, I think you can get it now, but there was, they would, they'd call it Kobe or Wagyu or, and I know as of like 2015, like, cause to call it that, it has to be in a certain, it has to be in a certain region or like prefect or whatever you want to call it in in Japan Yes, and none of them were approved for export. Oh really? Yeah, so you never got only get illegal meat Yes, if you did right it was illegal

So you can bring in some way it was a marketing term that you know that everybody I know the difference I know the taste I don't know that that's still the case. I think you can get actual, like, Kobe beef, like, which is, I guess... You keep saying Kobe. That's not as good as Wagyu, right? I think that is Wagyu. It is Wagyu? It's a chicken and the hen situation?

Yeah, I think it's a specific kind. It's a Pacific kind? Was that a pun? What's that? It's a Pacific kind? I think I said specific. Well, it would also be a pun. It's a Pacific kind? Was that a pun? What's that? It's a Pacific kind? I think I said specific. Well, it would also be a pun. It's a Pacific type of meat. True.

Right? True. I don't know. I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna go for it and buy a big slab at Costco. See, just eat it all day, like with a knife, you know, peeling it off. It was very marble, I would imagine, right? That's the whole thing. Nothing would make me happier. Nothing would make me happy to stand in the sun

for two hours waiting for an old lady to fire up some grills, I guess. I don't know what she was doing. Maybe she was straightening her hair. I don't know what the little Asian lady was doing there for 40 minutes. I don't know how long it takes to heat up a grill, to grill that kind of stuff,

but whatever, that's how long it took. COVID is still alive and well, though. Oh yeah? At the end of, I was promised a great shangri-love, a great beer pavilion, a great paradise of beer and air conditioning in a beer garden at the end of this half a mile trek through Nerudo and Pokemon horse shit, right?

I was promised a great beer garden. I had a bracelet for it and everything, you know? So I go in there and get my free, my double beer tokens, cause she doesn't drink, so I'm like, it's better. Right. Boom, boom, give it to me right now. I make my way double fisting it into a beer pavilion that had about four tables.

Oh God. In a multi-purpose room, the size of a football stadium and a mob of Chinese people and Asian people. So basically it was like the reindeer, what was that movie with Diddy Mao with the Russian roulette? Deer Hunter.

Oh, Deer Hunter, yeah, Deer Hunter. Deer Hunter, watching these people eat the last of their rice and then joining in on a mob of Asians like we're at the stock market trying to grab the chairs to get the next fucking table. Total fucking nightmare. Yeah, I'll say. 10,000 degrees outside, so my feet were purple.

They were melted in with my sandals. And I said, COVID caused this. This place was once a paradise, teaming. I went online in the reviews, sure enough, teaming with tables and chairs, teaming with it. But you know, COVID hit, it's- And nobody ever gave it back. Nobody ever gives it back.

Nobody ever gives it back. That's true for everything. I mean, that's true for, you know, you pay more, maybe prices go up on something, maybe they come back down. They never come back to where they were, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It always costs you a little more and you get a little less.

And it happens year in, year out for decades. So that was, it was very upset. I had, I was so upset I had to get another Wagyu skewer. Well, that's the way to, that's the way to drown your sorrows in a more healthy manner. They had already gone up in price. They had already gone up a buck.

Yeah, don't doubt it. Like what the hell is already up a buck? I don't doubt it. Yes, minimum wage law, new minimum wage law passed. While I was in the pavilion? Yeah, exactly. While you were in the pavilion, Yeah. Exactly. While you were in the pavilion a new minimum wage. Drank your two beers. Turned out that first one

didn't help. So they went ahead and passed another one, Lickety Split. Just to get the help here sooner. Right. So okay, well that's cool. Let's see, should we talk about what happened this week? The curse, the government. I got a new shirt. We get a new shirt at the store shop.dick.show. Big fat woman. Oh boy. I'll show you. Yeah, okay. We should see this. Shop.go get it. Go get it because it's gonna be gone soon. Here it is. Go get it. Wear it to work. You know, if you get in trouble, I'll take care of it. Nothing legal or monetarily, but you know, I'll call into your work if you get fired for wearing this shirt at work

and explain the situation. Is that you riding? That's me riding a big fat lady down some sort of a bomb. It looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. It does. It's the same woman that was attacking the city in the other one. It's a, I'm doing three of your shirts. Got it.

In this theme, no one more. Make sure you get that. With like a Joker, like a Glasgow grin almost looks like she's got, you know, like she got knifed. It's horrible. We all know a woman, once they get to a certain size, they start stretching into these features. Got it.

And then of course, Nick Reketa's nine-year-old kid tested positive for cocaine. That's a... that was the new news. For real? For real. You know Sean, I'm surprised we have a criminal justice system at all. You gotta make sure that it's not put in something that looks like the sugar bowl. Well, but that's, you gotta overthink it.

He overthought it. He's like, well, that's what I thought the kid would think. So I actually put the sugar in there. You never see my kid use salt on anything? Why would a kid use truffle salt? Makes no sense. Right. You know? Right.

I'm in the minority. Cause I see, when I see tests, when I see one kid, one nine year old kid out of five test positive for cocaine, I say, something's up here. Okay. I know how these hair tests work, you know? Yeah. I know how tests work and I know how the government works. Yeah.

They don't, once they start getting answers they like, that's when they're done, you know? Well, don't push your luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would, when I get a nine year old testing positive for cocaine, I say, run the test again. Well, maybe grab some other hair. I don't know, ask her if she's ever, you know,

ask all these people that, where she's saying that she's hungry, ask the people where she's saying she's hungry, ask them if she's ever, you know, ask all these people that where she's saying that she's hungry ask the people who she's hungry Ask them if she's ever, you know Going totally spastic, right? Yeah. Well, you know, I mean the kids shouldn't have access in the house to Yeah, and they were in safes, you know, they're in well, I mean, you know, you know, you don't always put things back That's true, too. Maybe they got into some right? It's very possible. So I look at the report, I'm like, okay. Or residue. Maybe, you know, I don't know. Who knows? Well, I do. She's hitting the high score. Not the high score, the kid.

Oh, yeah. She's golfing. What's a medium? If you golf every weekend, what's a good handicap? If you're a weekend golfer, I mean, like, I mean, if you practice, you can get to single digit, like playing once a week, but if you're practicing or something. She's doing coke at about a single digit, I don't know, a five or a six handicap. That's good.

That's way too much cocaine for a little girl. That's what I'm saying. I look at this test like, oh, that's a little high. Maybe if you, especially like if you're taking a urine test, you can get caught like, oh shit, I just touched a bunch of, oh shit, it shows up there. But a hair test, that's like prolonged, a prolonged period of use and exposure

to be hitting numbers this high. Yeah, is it? I mean, I don't know what's a high number. I mean, I don't know. High is like a hundred thousand picograms, high is in the hundred thousands, medium use is in like 5,000, the lowest threshold is like 500 or something like that.

I don't know. I mean, I know that people younger than nine have gotten into cocaine and like repeatedly used it. That's true. Well, that's what people are going with. I'm still sticking with, I don't buy it. I know the government. I know how tests work. If you're testing seven people on this shit, you're gonna get some false... Someone's coming back positive. Well, you need to read, you need to verify it. And they don't.

Yeah, well, yeah. They don't do that. I don't know. It's a sad thing. So he's getting, I mean, he's- The government, you think it's small town politics that don't like Nick for some reason? Yeah, cause he's a loud mouth. Cause he's got a bunch of fucking cocaine.

People don't like people who like cocaine. People like in general despise drug users. Especially government people. If you're using, if you're doing any drugs and you have kids, Social Services fucking hates you. They wanna take you down big time. So I mean, I don't, maybe the kid did. I don't know.

But when I see one out of five coming back with coke Yeah, and not doing not rerunning a test. They tested all the kids. Yeah, they tested everybody. Yeah Yeah, well, I mean, you know test again Yeah, but that's not what the that's not the world we live in online, of course. No! It's, he needs to go under the jail. Well, it's- We gotta put, we gotta kill this guy. Well, it's-

This is the absolute scum of the earth, like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. No, before the test even comes back. Oh, right, yeah. You don't even need to- Oh, we got that test, you fucker! Yeah, we don't even, uh, so when did this, uh, when did this news hit? Couple days ago. Oh, Jesus.

Jesus is right. Huge cokehead. People don't know that. I'm the only one that just doesn't believe it. I don't know how this is. When I see it, I say, well, wait, isn't that report supposed to be sealed? Because it's about kids? Why isn't it sealed? For the same reason that a kid's testing astronomically high in cocaine.

Shocker. Oh, you mean the other kids? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker.

I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a shocker. I mean, I think it's a little, why isn't it sealed? For the same reason that a kid's testing astronomically high in cocaine. Shocker! Oh, you mean there was a fuck up there?

Wow. I thought minors are not supposed to be, yeah, like, where's the- Why isn't this redacted minimum? You have a copy of the, like, what is it? A, what, like a- CPS report. A CPS, yeah.

Trial protective services, So that should be... Yeah, I don't think... That's not normal, is it? I don't think so. I think the minor's always supposed to be, you know, like protected or... Don't you think that's a little fishy? Well, I don't know why the name's out there.

I mean, I... All reports out there. Yeah, huh. Somebody walked into the courthouse with the file number, already suspicious, pulled the report out, which is supposed to be sealed and it's not, suspicious number two, and found one of five kids

taking a heroic amount of cocaine every weekend for what had to, for what has to be a month. You can't just get to, you can't build up that sort of shit in your hair, those cocaine metabolites in your hair, just in one, you know, in one, oh shit, I thought that was sugar. Just me, everybody else.

Yeah, he's done. Yeah, I just don't believe it. Call me crazy. Yeah, I don't know. I just don't fucking believe it. I'd like to see some repeated results maybe. But that's a huge, you know, cause it's perfectly possible

that something's contaminated. Yeah. I mean that's... For one kid though, among five, if the teenager came back, I would say, oh, that's a big problem. Yeah, nine is... But a nine year old?

Get the fuck out of here. It's happened, but... You know, cocaine, it tastes just amazing. You can easily see how a kid would get addicted Yeah, nine is not... A nine year old? Get the fuck out of here! It's happened, but... You know, cocaine, it tastes just amazing. You can easily see how a kid would get addicted to the wonderful gasoline taste. Well, yeah. Oh yeah, I love this. Oh, but it's amazing what people will do for the feeling once they recognize it, you know?

A kid? You think a kid would recognize it? Yeah, sure. Oh, man. But... Well, I hope not. Things Do you think a kid would... Sure. Yeah, sure. Oh, man. But... Well, I hope not. Things can be contaminated, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Been down before. Walking around like a pig pen with cocaine spilling all over the place. It's convicted people wrongfully before. Well, that's the other... Maybe I know more about this shit because it's LA. And I'm like, I've... Every time they're like, no, we can't do hair tests because it's racist against black people.

And it is. It's like their hair soaks up cocaine like a sponge. You know? Do you know that? No. Yeah, their dark hair just like soaks up cocaine. It's like, you guys can't use this test on us because white people don't get hit with it.

Yeah, because of the melanin. Wow. Makes it more likely to soak up coke. Yeah. So the government, you know, like the NAACP is like, you guys can't, this test is seriously racist. Yeah. Because of the hair.

Yeah. God damn hair. I don't know. You should get a hair transplant. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to get a blonde wig put on. No, no, I mean, you should get a black hair. A black hair? Yeah.

No, that would be. You can't use that on me. Oh, yeah, you can get black hair. Black hair? Yeah. No, that would be- You can't use that on me. Oh yeah, you can't use that shit on me. Yeah. Don't you know what this does? It's like a cocaine magnet. Well, that happened.

Well, I- Poor Nick. Nick can't say anything. I hope that's a horribly flawed test. Oh, I mean, I'm betting, I'm going all in on Nick, obviously, I just don't think that his daughter got into any cocaine, even on accident. I don't see how it's fucking possible.

I mean, that's... I see how it's possible, but it's total, it's way more reasonable that the test fucked up and they just decided not to run another one. I mean, that is definitely a possibility. Because they need, the state needs to get him on as much as possible. Because right now they have like, what? You had an ounce of Coke in your house?

That's not- I mean, I guess, and it's like, has that been done before, especially in like small towns? Well, they put Steven Avery in jail for a murder he didn't do twice. Yeah, I mean, it's- It's the small town cops too, man. So they're the fucking worst. Yeah mean it's, yeah. Small town cops too, man. So they're the fucking worst.

Yeah, it's been done. Yeah. Well, I guess we'll see. Yeah, yeah. Poor Nick can't defend himself either. Well, I mean, cause if he's, what? Cause if he says anything, it's like, that's evidence. Just opens, yeah.

It's not like a, you know, Matt exudes me, I can say whatever I want. It's a civil case. Yeah. I can't go digging around rooting through my trash and shit. Right. But Nick, he can't say shit. He's just got to sit there and take it. Yeah. Has he been streaming at all? He's streamed once or twice. He's streamed once or twice. He's constantly super chats about, you know, kill him, fuck you, kill your son. Goddamn man. Yeah. You know guys, he could be innocent. It happens.

It happens. The last thing the government wants is just a cocaine charge on you. They want kids' stuff. That's ideal for them. Well, if there's kids in the house, I mean, look, I'm not a guy who, like, you know, I'd prefer there wouldn't be drugs around kids, you know? Like, because of what it causes, like, the parents to check out, you know, I'd prefer there wouldn't be drugs around kids, you know, like because of what it causes

like the parents to check out, you know, like that's the, you're not like, you're not really there. That's what they're for. That's the, well, that's why cocaine was invented was because they had kids. So it's like, I gotta escape. But I mean, look, there's something going on, whether it's whether there's anything that's, you know,

whether it's what the story we know or something a lot less bad, hopefully not more, hopefully not worse. Hopefully not worse. Hopefully not worse. Yeah, okay, yeah, I'm with you there. But yeah, but, you know, I hope they, I hope they, everybody gets back on the,

stops swerving and gets back on the road. Yeah, I guess my- Be better for the kids. It would be great. It would be better for the kids. Be better for everybody. I guess- Nick doesn't need this kind of shit.

He needs to get back to makin' money. Right? I mean- And then Mint got the cops called on her a couple times. Really? Because people are convinced she's like, well, they're pretending that she's being abused by Riley. Oh, right. Because he's no longer in jail. So now it's, well, now we're gonna go after your wife.

Yeah, this... We're gonna go after your girlfriend. Man, people think... People think it's a game, and then some people think it's like a really serious life and death game. But they're still... Hard to tell which ones. But they're still playing it like a fucking game. Yeah, they are.

Like these people on the sidelines or... You get to play with other people's lives. I guess what surprised me is that we have a justice system at all. Because all I see is first thing that comes out, if people don't like you, you're dead. Well, no, but that's... it's been that way for a long time now. Yeah, I don't know how we maintain this system where you even get to try to go to court We don't have any sort of constitutional rights. Those don't exist. No, those are a lie that we tell kids But even the even the ability to sit there and explain your case unless you're Alex Jones, you know, yeah, I can't believe that exists

Okay, let me see what I have what I have here for you today and then we have Merlogic. Oh good Calling in confess confess and get your kids back. That's what they'd keep all day Let me see what I have here for you today. And then we have Merlogic. Oh, good. Calling in, confess. Confess and get your kids back. That's what they keep all day, they tell them. You gotta confess about your addiction. Where is his kids or somewhere else? Yeah.

Like with the grandparents or something, maybe? You gotta confess. You know. You gotta show us that you're sorry for your addiction. And then the government will give you your kids back? Somehow? That's not how it works. Well, yeah. That's not how it works, guys.

Look, the sooner this all gets sorted out, the better it'll be for the kids. Because it's affecting them. And each one differently. Especially the 9-year-old, imagine quitting cold turkey. Cocaine. One of the worst things you can do to kids is take away their stability. Like when they're, it's literally

one of the worst things you can do. Cause it's like, you think you have this stable kind of jumping off point. Mom's always like here, dad's always here. Like they're consistent people. And when you throw that kind of stuff into it and all the noise that goes around it and all that kind of stuff, it, and all the noise that goes around it, and all that kind of stuff,

you're definitely yanking the rug out a little earlier than you would like to. Life will tend to do that anyway. Yeah. But, that's- It's a bit unnecessary, isn't it? You know what, I would think that, Nick probably understands that.

Yeah, you think so? Well, I do, because I don't think that he doesn't care about his kids. You know what I mean? Like it's just a little cocaine. You can get, you know, it's a little bit of cocaine till it's more than a little bit of cocaine. Yeah.

You know? Okay, here's Trump's plan to win 2024. Yeah. No tax, vote Trump, no tax on tips. Man, how far we have fallen. Remember that? Remember all the fervor around Trump in 2016 because he was gonna tax our tips, Sean?

Yeah, there you go. That's why he's gonna save America by not taxing on tips. So now all these conservative shit bags, which almost all of them are, are all writing, Vote Trump, no tax on tips on their receipts. And then they're posting them online. As you can see, this big spender has written $5 for the tip

and has condescendingly told the waitress, who is, you know, on her feet all day, serving loudmouth, fucking fat, fat pieces of shit like this, their seventh eyeball. Isn't that obnoxious? So, this is Trump 2024. So obnoxious. The most fucking obnoxious, condescending cocksuckers. It's fucking embarrassing, man.

Vote Trump, no tax on tips. Oh shit! Oh, fuck abortions. I don't even need that anymore. You're telling me I'm not gonna get taxed on this $5? Shit, that's like 30 cents, bro! Why don't you say that sooner? Right.

Man, and he's weaponized all of you, all of you six-figure motherfuckers. He's weaponized all of you fucking fat pieces of shit to come in here and tell me how to vote for 30 fucking cents. This is like Caddyshack when he throws the 25 cents at him, you know, when Danny lies about the cl- Oh, I didn't put the grip on right. That guy goes, here's the grip for you, Oris. Yeah, here. Here's a shiny nickel for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking real life meme. Shiny fucking nickel. Hey, vote Trump. There's a shiny nickel in it for you. God, blow your fucking brains out. As I suppose It's impossible for Trump to lose this time around

Because he's basically running on I'm not Biden right. I don't I don't know if I can cheat his way around this one I don't know I'm Hopeful I'm confident that the best cheaters in the world are Starting the rig right now and will be rigging for the next eight months or however long it takes to count the votes this time right I think there's a chance he can lose is what I'm saying like this makes me hope he fucking does I've thought as soon as he was the you know presumptive nominee I

think I think Trump wins and it's gonna just make this there's no what's in it for what's in it for me this time not a goddamn thing Yeah, there's not even a there's not even a hint of something that I might be interested in this time No entertainment value for you. No zero silly wall or something. No income taxes. How about no income taxes on? How about knowing income income taxes on a hundred thousand dollars or less? I would get a lot of people's attention. Wouldn't that be great? Well, no, you're just spending on the infinity money all of us know now You're just spending infinity money. You don't need our money to do it. So go ahead

No, Ron. Just let's lie man. I know you didn't do anything You said you would do the first time that I wanted nobody does nobody does I mean every once in a while They do one or two other things but Obama did yeah Well, yeah, you're shutting down. Oh, no, I'm that's not true, he didn't do any of the good stuff. Shutting down Abu Ghraib, shutting down all the terrorism that the US is doing, he didn't do any of that. He escalated the drone strikes. He escalated all the murdering of American citizens by drones.

Yeah, you're right, you're right. Sorry, I spoke out of turn. This is what we're gonna, this is what it's gonna be for, this is Trump 2024. Excellent. A fat guy who just golfed 18 rounds, who inherited his dad's golf membership. It's just America. Writing condescending notes on his fucking receipt to some poor woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's like, Tax on tips, five bucks, bitch. Watch this, chew on that. Yeah. I dropped a little knowledge on you. Right there watch this chew on that yeah drop a little knowledge on you here's a nickel for you anything about that doing this everywhere yeah fucking cocksuckers man that's obnoxious uh let's see I got more on oh here's a women in makeup let's see here this guy this guy broke up with this girl

and no one could believe why. He broke up with this girl. And then here's a picture of her without makeup. Oh. What's going on here, man? What? I mean, come on. Come on.

This is you. This is you. You wake up, right? You look like this. It's whatever. You know, you look like a human being, whatever. Symmetrical, it's fine. And then... Symmetrical. Yeah, symmetry is... near symmetry is generally liked by... You don't got any teeth flinging out of your head or anything like that. You put this stupid nose ring on, whatever. Eyes are a little bit crossed, whatever. Eyebrows could use nose ring on whatever. Yeah, eyes are a little bit crossed. Whatever eyebrows could use some work

Whatever, but then you do and you do this bro Yeah, what some point you got to stop and say I went too far, right? Okay, some point a man would you know? Wouldn't wouldn't they men aren't going around with like five inch lifts on their heels I'm having insert not not most, an inch, that's enough. But this is a little, I think this is a little bit far. You think she's too made up? I think this is another person.

Sure, I mean, no, it looks like it. I think this is a different person than this. You know, I'm looking at the go back. I think this should be illegal. I don't know, am I wrong? Maybe. I'm looking at her nose and stuff It's amazing. It's amazing what the nose is. It's amazing what mascara and eyeshadow and shit like that does for you know

Like your whole face. You telling me I can't have a high flow shower? Yeah, but this is women are allowed to pull this shit online. Look at this. Oh my god Does look like a different person. Does look like a different person. Also she pulled her hair back, right, in the other one. Yeah. Yeah, she's not making it... She's making it easy on herself. Newly surfaced document has revealed that the IDF had detailed knowledge of Hamas's plan to raid Israel and kidnap 250 people weeks before.

It's on the Jerusalem Post. Oh, okay. Is that right? Very anti-Semitic paper. Notoriously anti-Semitic Jerusalem Post. Okay. Is that right? Very anti-Semitic paper. Notoriously anti-Semitic Jerusalem Post. Let's see. I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't be happy about that. No.

Yeah, newly surfaced document. Hmm. Well, the IDF had precise information about Hamas's intentions. Oh, okay. So people have been saying that. So they knew about it and they said, we're ready. Is that what they were? Don't worry, we got it.

Don't worry, we got it. How many people do they have in Israel? How many, oh, you mean the- Six million, seven million, how many people? The population? Yeah. Is it that large? Let's see.

Could be. 10 million. 10 million. 9 1 1 10 million. 10 million. 9.5 million. Wow. Man, these guys, they get all that money to stop terrorism from happening to like a city the size of LA and they can't do it?

The country the size of LA? What's the population of LA? Well, the greater LA area. I think, yeah. Oh, three, okay, New York. Well, you gotta realize that is the city proper. That doesn't like, you know how like, greater's greater LA? Greater LA is probably, greater LA is probably close to 20 million.

Oh yeah, here it is. At least 12 million. Oh 12, is that what it is? Okay, so it's about the same size. 12, 8, 13 million, okay. Is Israel? Man, you can't stop that from happening to LA. Time to turn in the badges there, folks.

Okay. Time to turn in the badges there, folks. Um, okay. Oh, here's a guy getting droned. Man, this is, uh... Whoo! I don't know how you make a movie about modern war. Right. You remember in, like... You know, like, video game nerds, fucking, you know, sweat pouring down there.

Fucking, uh, come on, get in there. Everybody's going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like a guy in the, just in a field who can't, you know, he's like a farmer. He's got thrown into a van and dropped into a middle of the field with a gun to shoot at nothing. Cause it's just a bunch of goddamn drones flying at you all day.

Watch this shit. I don't know if I could put it on the, oh, it's on, it's fucking news. We don't have a YouTube anymore. Yeah. Here's a guy. Here's a guy. Suicide drone? Yeah. I don't know if he's Russian or Ukrainian. Yeah. It's just a... What's the difference? You know? Here he's running. Oops oops oops, oops. The music sucks anyway. All right. He's running. He's running looking behind him. Then he's just like tired of running. It stops.

He squares off like he's gonna fight something, right? Yeah, what's coming over there, yeah. Maybe a bear or something? I don't know. Oh, he's praying. Oh, that's not. Is that what it was? Yeah, he's praying to God.

Uh, oh there's the drone. See it? Flying in. Yeah. Man, so you gotta, now you gotta outrun a drone now? To stay alive? Jesus. That fucking sucks. War is like, they're all video game movies. You know, that's the new war movie.

Remember in like Saving Private Ryan where he's shoving that knife into him like really slowly Yeah, and it's like mano-a-mano. Yeah. Yeah now this poor guy is just like praying and trying to do cardio To stay alive from an exploding drone. Then here we go. Here comes the drone Oh, he's Jesus Christ He ducked I Don Christ. He ducked. I don't know if that helped. I don't think that would have.

Probably not. Damn. Okay. That's rough, man. Yeah. How are you supposed to... you gotta have like a lasso, I guess. Or a rope that you could spin around to keep the drone away. You know? Yeah.

Or like a net. You could throw the net at it. That's... That's a good... Yeah. Yeah. And then he's exploded here. Right.

Yeah, I don't know. Ooh, man. I guess that's him. He's dead. I guess so. I don't know if this is fake. Yeah, I don't know. I mean...

Huh. Seems like a shitty way to go. You just couldn't like... this is fake. Yeah, I don't know. I mean. Huh. Seems like a shitty way to go. You just couldn't like, like running sucks. Yeah. I'm like fighting a guy. I never like to do it. Yeah. At least I'll be like, all right, I couldn't fight as good as that guy.

But like running is like a chick thing. And you're just like, oh fuck. I could have been running my whole life and then I would be alive because of this fucking drone. Maybe. Can you outrun the batteries on those things? They're carrying around a grenade. Well, can you outrun the batteries on those things? They're carrying around a grenade. Well, can you outrun the range?

Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean, some... It's carrying a lot of shit, so the propellers have got to be spinning. Yeah, but I mean, like, how far does it have to go from the controller? From who's controlling it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Something tells me if they're using it in war, they probably have a pretty decent reach, but, you know.

We're gonna have to take, like, the homeless and send them to the front lines like they did with the Comanches. Yeah. Like the wind talkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The homeless are used to the drone guys fucking with them. Navajo code or whatever. Yeah, the Navajos. So the homeless can teach the troops how to deal with drones.

Yeah. Or we recruit a bunch of canyon marathon runners. Yeah. It's all gonna be, it's like, oh, dude, go ahead, I'll run 20 miles. See if you can follow me, fuckers. Yeah, go ahead. Pretty, pretty crappy. Okay, here's, let's see, cops on a bike. This is a's see. Cops on a bike. This is a local story. Cops on a bike ride past a break-in. Oh shit. This is, uh...

This is a guy breaking into a hamburger store. Yeah. I think this is in LA. Looks like LA. It does look like it. And then here's two lady police officers, fat, leisurely riding their bicycles. Go ahead and just ride right by that. It's a girl.

Who's breaking in. Just bashed in there? Oh yeah, you're right. Okay, have a good day,'s breaking in. Just bashed in there? Oh yeah, you're right. Well, okay, have a good day, ma'am. Yeah. Are they coming back? I don't know. I don't think so.

I don't know. They might be talking about they're riding over here. I don't know. So are we going to go back and see what's going on over there? What happened to all their cowboy shit? Like they need a no-knock warrant to arrest your ass right away so you don't run, but then here they got a... What if it's the owner who doesn't have her keys? Oh, you think that they determine that so quickly?

I don't know. So what happened before and after the... Oh, yeah. It's already broken, huh? They're riding right by that's funny They're riding these chicks are riding their bikes like they're on the beach like straight up each cruise I think I got another lady cop in here Police come a cop cops on a bike Cops on a bike. Uh... Gun...

Shooting... No, no, no. Let me find it. It's a funny one. There's the bonus episode. Make sure you see the bonus episode. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show. See it.

Watch it. See it. Um... Hmm... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I See it. Watch it. See it. Um... Mmm... Rrrr.

Come on, man. What are you looking for? I'm looking for the... I'm looking for this stupid cop lady. Here it is. Here we go. Hmpf. Hmpf.

Now this one does have sound. Okay. I got it. This is, you know, this is a guy, a guy getting pulled over by a woman. Basically everyone's worst nightmare. Cranston Police Department released body cam footage that shows the interaction that led to one of its officers shooting at a moving vehicle on Sunday. Like the, like a, like they do in the movies, right? Show this for your movie explosion. Yeah, how's this for your movie explosion? He's getting away. Let's just

fire fucking rails. Empty the gun, you know, like in a crowded neighborhood. How often do female police officers have to do training? Because it should be all day. I don't know. Every day. I don't know. When to discharge your gun? A moving car. Can I get a show of hands when you might want to discharge your gun in a moving car? Everyone raises their hand. The answer is never. The answer is to never shoot your gun

in a moving car. I have a question. What if the guy embarrassed me? In some way. No. The answer is no, okay, here we go Get out of the car you're doing what is this? Get out of the car man So this poor guy this is in his car the doors open and a woman shouting him at him to get out of the car and then he has his hands up a white guy with a

obviously, no obviously no no no Nothing weird going on at all door totally open doesn't look like he's gonna is reaching for now Is that who's in the somebody's in the back seat a woman with her hands up? Yeah, both are stricken with extreme terror because the this cop this lady is Behaving it's frightening when a woman is mad under any circumstance. It's about a billion times more frightening when she has the authority of the government to kill you. Uh, here we go.

Ma'am, get away from my car! You can't run me over! I'm f***ing dead right now! Did you say you're gonna run me over? 207, shots fired! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA He's totally totally hasn't moved. You're gonna run me over. I gotta get out of here. I'm gonna take my chances I'm gonna hope it other cops show up and that they're guys. That's crazy. They'll just review this tape and let me off I don't know what you mean. I don't want to get killed. That's okay. I gotta go. I gotta go right? I gotta go. I gotta go. Just don't look don't look ignore it ignore it How weird?

Yeah, weird is uh weird is about right. Just squeezed one off. Yeah, right? What was the point of that? Then maybe thought better of it. You're gonna kill him? Was that the point of, were you trying to execute him for driving away? Yeah, what was your,

your life was in imminent danger? That's, I mean, that is like, you know. That's the move, yeah. Driving away from you. You're gonna run me over. I haven't moved. I haven't moved. That's wild.

One shot. Thank God it was just one. Maybe she didn't know that there was more than one bullet in the gun. Maybe she just thought that's how it went. I don't know. Maybe if she had a drone. Maybe she just thought that's how it went. I don't know. Maybe if she had a drone.

How to beat depression. Here's some good stats for you. Study was published on the best way to beat depression. Here's the top ways to beat depression. What do you think here, Sean? We've got dancing is number one. Yeah, sure. By a lot, actually. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I mean, I'm sure this study is probably rife with errors and... Errors?

And yeah... What if it had said listening to Sean was number one? Then you would just still say that? Perfect, sure. Even more so. Yes. Dancing, I don't know, that seems to make sense. Dancing? Because guys don't do that. White guys would never dance.

And if their lives depended on it, and it does. Yes, that's right. Maybe all these depresos should take a Zumba class, right? Make some fat Latina grandmas. I certainly don't think it could hurt. Well, that's the one thing white guys don't do. Right? Dancing. I don't hear a lot of Mexican guys bitching

or black guys bitching about how depressed they are. What are they doing different? Dancing. White guys don't dance. Stick up their ass. Black culture especially does not talk about that kind of shit. About dancing? No, about depression and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to talk about when you're in prison. I'm depressed. Oh, no shit? Yeah, well, yeah. Thank you. Dancing is number one. Walking or jogging, number two. Walking, cognitive behavioral therapy. Yeah, that's therapy.

They probably meant cock and ball torture, CBT. So talking to somebody about your problems, that's up there? There's no way you can parse this down. There's too many variables when you're talking about this kind of stuff. I mean, that's a neat, tidy little graph. Yoga is equal to talking about your problems. Yoga. Even with the parking.

Sure. We couldn't believe it. This woman taking six, seven minutes to park her car in a normal parking space. Exercise plus SSRI. Which is funny, they don't have therapy and SSRI. Oh. Because that, I mean, that's, I mean, I get,

this is, there's all kinds of problems with this. I mean, with, Yeah, but look at dancing. That's way up there, man. Way up there. I could dig into it. I'm sure this is probably, probably not peer reviewed or published.

Who did this survey himself? Could be. Aerobic exercise plus therapy. All these things are good. Strength. Like strength in general. Not strength training. Yeah.

Okay. Just the intrinsic quality of strength was rated very high. To try to actually like rank them is kind of funny Relaxation but relaxation dips into no Got it. No help also mixed aerobic activities Tai Chi or Queen Gong What?

Which Tai Chi or Ki Gong? Or Ki Gong? I don't know. Aerobic exercise plus strength. Cycling, oh good. So cyclists, look at this, cycling gives you almost no benefit to your depression. Fucking good. Let's get that number down, boys.

We need to be a little bit, look, we've almost broken the cyclists. They're almost below zero at helping depression. We just need to be a little bit, a few more dead batteries thrown at cyclists, a few more honks at cyclists, they're almost below zero at helping depression. We just need to be a little bit, a few more dead batteries thrown at cyclists, a few more honks at cyclists, and we can get this number down. SSRIs, almost zero.

Physical activity counseling, what the fuck is that? Zero. Life coach telling you how to exercise, I don't know. Waistline control, wow, that was really negative. Very overwhelmingly negative. Is counseling spelled right? I don't know, maybe it's British. Do you add the L when you high edge it?

Two Ls, yeah, yeah. Is it? That's right, okay. What's wait list control? Oh, wait list. I thought that said waistline. I don't know what wait list control is. What does that mean?

Yeah. That's just the control group, maybe? Wait waistline. I don't know what waitlist could mean. What does that mean? Yeah. That's just the control group, maybe? Waitlist control. I don't know. Yeah, you got me. I don't know. There you go, so dancing. We finally saw the why white men are so depressed.

They don't ever do that. Dance. Trans shit on the road. See here. Oh yeah. The Pride crosswalk went up in Huntington, West Virginia and you can't do any donuts on it. Wow. Look at that baby.

Wow. Woohoo. Now that's, that is some serious trans shit. Drone shot, huh? We got a- It blew up all those people. Yeah. Just fucking suicide drone...

Can bad guys get ahold of drones with C4 on them? I mean, it's not hard to get a drone or explosives, right? Yeah. I don't really want random drone kills happening in big cities. No, you know. But looking at that video, it seems kind of easy to do. Yeah. Okay, this is a four-way trans crosswalk

and like a trans gem in the middle. A what? Look, this big thing in the middle is like a trans diamond. You mean like a climbing diamond? Well, it's like a faceted trans... It's just painted flat, right? There's no... I can't really see it.

Yeah, it's painted flat. But it's painted with like a 3D effect. Yes, yes, yes. To disorient you while you're driving. Right. Through an intersection. And if you crash on here, it's a felony. If you crash your car...

Those look like big happy keyboards to me. Yeah. You know? They're not look like big happy keyboards to me. Yeah. You know, they're not happy though, as it turns out. So in this four way intersection, if you put any tire marks on it at all by breaking or accelerating too fast, making a left, you go to jail. So you get to make a split second decision to either commit a hate crime or be T-boned by a semi truck. And he's got the same calculus in his mind.

He's hauling Walmart merchandise. He's like, well, I don't want to press the brakes too hard because that's a hate crime. So I'm going to have to run into Tracy Morgan. merchandise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, well, I don't want to press the brakes too hard because that's a hate crime. Right. So, so I'm gonna have to run into Tracy Morgan. And this is, and they're spreading this out over all of America. Every four-way, every intersection will have anti- West Virginia. Yeah, you know, notorious. Not, not, not California. No, not Castro Street. This is West Virginia. It's West Virginia, very interesting. Oh man. People are just driving so great.

Yeah, this'll help. This'll really help, the threat of committing hate crimes. Well, okay, cool. Good for y'all. Thanks, trans people. Let's see, here's a pedophile getting beat up. Student loans. Now that's kind of stupid.

AI stuff. Oh, I love this stuff here. Let me put this up. I've got racism causing cancer and AI slop. Here's the AI slop. Is Merlogic coming on? Yeah. I think he's in there.

Got it. There he is. So this is like AI stuff people post to Facebook. Lesnar's definitely back on the Roids. Well this is not real. Oh okay, he didn't go. But people post this to Facebook and it gets like hundreds of thousands of likes. Did he not really go to Africa?

No. Brock Lesner didn't go to Africa. I'm feeding this little boy. He's just, they just put that in there? Yeah, this is an AI. Oh that's AI. Yeah, see all the people behind him? All the AI people? Oh yeah, check it out. He's holding a quesadilla. It looks like a bowl full of shredded lettuce or something. It's a bowl full of like AI food. There's no, it's not real. Yeah.

But it's got 25,000 people are really, really hype. Like he's just walking around with his shirt off, you know, that would be funny, right? Yeah, in Africa with a bowl of miscellaneous food, handing it to these little, this little black boy and all these people with- Wait a minute, Brock Lesnar has a huge sword tattoo on his chest Well the AI isn't perfect. That's funny yeah that's funny yeah I mean like I'm

surprised they really they just couldn't find a it didn't find a picture of him yeah he's got an enormous like a Viking sword on his chest I mean it's not a it's not a picture it's just totally generated for nothing it's not a Photoshop but somebody said oh got it it does not a picture. It's just totally generated from nothing. It's not a Photoshop. But somebody said, oh, got it. It does not get pulled. So generated like they're like put Brock Lesnar. Yeah, feeding a little black African boy. And then they post this shit. It knows Brock Lesnar is buff, right? Yeah, it knows the general, you know, the general things about him.

Here's another good one. We need food and it's two people crying, two little kids crying. 140,000 likes and sad faces. Yeah. But then there's all these foods around them and a bunch of little kids screaming, what's going on in the mind of these people? Oh, yeah, that's we need, yeah, you know. Are they seeing that as, do they know it it's they're seeing it as like a social commentary I don't know, you know, I don't know some maybe I Don't know food. It's like it's right here. I don't know. All right, let me get to Merlogic in here

huh, uh Hey Merlogic, how you doing? What are you doing He's probably suppressed. Johnson Brown is typing. Johnson Brown. I'll give him a minute. It's on his end.

Hello. Hello. Can you hear me? What's up, man? How are you? Hi, Dick. My birthday was a couple weeks ago. Oh, you're kind of robotting out.

Say something. Say something else. Hello. Can you hear me? Yes. Okay. Your birthday was a couple weeks ago? No.

Yeah, I went go-karting. Did you? How was it? I went to this place called Nitro Kart and when I went over to the guy who was behind the counter, I told him it was my birthday today. He was like, congrats, you get to ride for free then. So he takes me over to the, he takes me over to the health play case And the first thing I realized is that my head is because they had to give me their biggest helmet

They had which was for Excel So they gave me this Darth Vader helmet to put on my head and the first thing I then noticed is that I might actually Be fatter than Vito because when I sat in this go-kart something didn't feel right Like a gargoyle with like a stone up his Butt because I sat in the chair. I'm like, why do I feel like I'm way too damn big for this go-kart right now so the guy Who ran the store went over to me is like sir I want you to understand that we do not like have any prejudice towards fat people who drive go-karts, but like Yeah, I'm gonna need you to suck your chest in if you want to ride the go-karts, but like, yeah, I'm going to need you to suck your chest in

if you want to ride the go-kart because I can't have you ride the go-kart. Oh my God. So being very understanding about this, I sucked my chest in and I forced the buckle in. It was a little tight, but I got it to work. Is that safe? These go-karts go about 60 miles an hour. So when I saw the first turn I can, my first thought was, all right, I got this chair that's running

my ass right now. And I'm hoping to God I can reach the fucking brake and accelerator pedal. I was a little off when trying to hit the brake when trying to hit this turn because I then veered off course and then crashed into a wall. Yeah. Did the wall stand up? Did you flip your car? The guy went over to me. The guy went over to me. It's like, all right, we might have a little bit of a problem if you can't hit the you can't hit the accelerator and the brake, right. But I'm going to need you to try really hard to not crash in any more walls. But other than that, I had like two free races. Oh, that's like a fun birthday. It was a fun birthday. I had fun.

That's good. I have your um... Did you get everyone's clothes that they sent you by the way? The belts too? Have you been using the belts? I have. They're very nice. It's wrapped around a... I used them when I was doing the birthday party. Then you've been using the belt for belt purposes? Like normal belt purposes? Not weird purposes? Yeah, they go well with the fucking khakis and slacks you guys sent. Yeah, is all that still... Is it still like...

Doesn't have any holes in it? All your pants that we got you? No, no, no, no, no. The only thing that has holes is the belt because the belt is supposed to have holes in it. Okay. So everything else is working? Yeah.

Everything else is working great. I had a great birthday. I got a lot of free art on my birthday. I went go-karting. I thought of you. And yeah, everything went well. That's nice of you. What kind of free art did you get?

Oh, I got all kinds of free art. I got a bunch of art from my friends in the art stream. In fact, one art piece, in fact, I'll show right now if I can get my computer to load, that's enough. But yeah, it was a very, here it is. Where should I put this? Should I just post this in general? Yeah, put it in general.

What is it? Wonder bread stuff that you're getting? Yeah, I mean, what else would it be? Yeah, I don't know. You have a lot of particular tastes. Drop it in there. I just remember Wonder Bread. You just remember, yeah. That's the most iconic.

That's the headline, yeah. So before I post this, Dick, are you familiar with an anime called Bleach? No. I mean I know of the name, but I don't know what it is. Oh, Ones? This might be fucking, you know, off your head then because I had somebody send me this okay. I posted in general Okay, I'm loading. Yeah It's a redheaded girl With huge tits eating a loaf of Wonder Bread. I mean I don't need to know the specifics appreciate this

Are you showing me her mouth is the more the orangehaired girl, her name is Orihime. She's a character from Bleach. Okay. Yeah. And she's chewing through the wrapper. Is that important? Yeah. That she's biting through the wrapper of the grass?

No. My friend thought it would be... There's a scene in Bleach where Orihime brings like a gigantic fucking thing of bread with her to school and she literally just munches on it like a muffin. So my friend who drew this thought it'd be funny. It's like, no, it'd be funny. Where instead of her just opening the bag, she just eats it like a goat the way a goat would chew on a tin can.

So he drew me that. Now he's working on a goat chewing on a tin can. Okay, yeah, that's cool. Hey, did you know that Riley went to jail? He got arrested because of Eric July. Did you know about that? Oh yeah, there's a guy in your server named Travis Touchdown. He was telling me about that.

And I was telling Travis a story where I mistook Riley for a girl and he laughed. You mistook Riley for a girl? Why? So do you remember when I went on your show the first time? I don't know if you remember this or not, but there was a woman in the room with you and I thought that woman who was in the room with you was Riley and I believed that for years until Riley sat me down and said, Murr, that was a completely different person. I'm a boy. I'm like, oh. Yeah, you know, Mint, down and said, Mer, that was a completely different person. I'm a boy.

I'm like, oh. Yeah, you know Mint, Riley and Mint, right? You know them? Yeah. Oh yeah, just now. I mean, it's real unfortunate that happened though. Yeah. Yeah, what do you think?

What should we do to raise money for Riley? For his legal fund. Oh, I'm glad you mentioned that because I was also bringing this up with Travis right now. I was telling Travis that I wanted to do a charity event with Vito where the both of us have a sumo wrestling match. Okay. Charity could just go to whatever. How much do you weigh?

See, I've been having arguments with my friends lately about how Vito is apparently thinner than me, and I want to challenge that. So I figured what better way to do that than to challenge Vito to a sumo match. To a sumo match. See, I've watched MXC. Yeah. Yeah. I've watched MXC. I've watched MXC. I've watched Takeshi's cast. So we can draw a circle in the dirt and we can both just push each other into like a

fucking starting line or whatever. See, I thought we could like make it a bit different because, you know, we could like make a circle and then we could have like a moat between that circle. So one of us gets pushed into a thing of water. I think they should see who can use a seat belt on a go-kart Who can do a seat belt faster? You can put a belt on faster, right? Yeah We do a go-kart race for charity and you know Riley we can do that. Okay, we do like

We have like five of the like, you know Six of the fattest guys ever and just have like fat guy challenges for them to do. Take your pants on and off, you know? Look, you've seen the scene from Smiling Friends where the two big fat guys are fighting over the ham. That could be me and Vito. Yeah, that could be. Has Vito agreed to it at all? Because he's very lazy.

Vito's blocked him. I know I'm trying to motivate him into it. I mean like... That's a rough... I don't want to like be... Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be like super approachable about him about it. I just think it'd be a fun idea. Yeah, it would be a fun idea. Both of you with wearing sumo wrestling diapers,

fighting on a moat. That would be fun. I would enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So you did hear about it, Riley's thing? Did hear about it. It's very unfortunate.

You seem to have a Legion of Doom group of people who all seem to hate you for some reason, for whatever reason or another. That's true. That's too much fun. I do have a Legion of Doom group of people who are trying to... I don't know what they... They really want all of us to go to prison.

Or die. Or something. Isn't that crazy? Die in prison. Or die in prison. Yeah. Did you hear about Nick Reketa? If we do do the...

If we... Oh yeah, I did hear about that. I also heard you had a pubescent to you in your box, which is disgusting. Yeah, have you heard of the Sonichu thing? The Sonichu medallion curse? Yeah, I heard how whenever anybody gets a Sonichu totem sent to them, they apparently get cursed.

So I initially thought I should make Wonderbred totems to be like a counter curse. Oh, would you? Would you make those out of Sculpey? Can you? Only if we're allowed to call them Merchandise or Merch. Yeah, I think we can do that. Murr. Yeah, why not? I mean, yeah. Yeah, I mean, over at my over at my volunteer place, I found a bunch of like Crayola model magic clay, but I don't have like a clay press like how Chris was using his for the Sonichu medallions. I mean like I have the clay. I just don't know how to Morph it into like a bread like shape. He was using a press. I think he was using his fingers

Yeah, it looks like and his cock. Yeah I thought he had like a weird play-doh machine because he had like a whole set You know what you you're probably right. Cause it is way too accurate. Well, yeah, the front of it, it looks a lot better than the back, which he just shoved. Yeah, the back is like shoved in.

You can see his fingerprints. I mean, we know how he did it. Like the back. You can't eat a Sonic and the way you need something like a pizza or even bread. You need something like to mend it into a shape. So what would you make? What's your anti-curse thing?

The Wonder Bread. Just Wonder Bread? I would probably make either like, all right, so his is like a picture of Sonichu, so it'd probably be like a blonde white woman's face or like even a thing of Wonder Bread. Just something that'll just make the curse bounce back, like the way a check would bounce at a restaurant.

Okay, yeah. Have you thought about making like a white woman's face with like Wonder Bread polka dots on it? You know, like is that? That would require a lot of clay. I don't know if it would look right. It would just kind of look like a woman's dying of cancer. But that wouldn't do anything for you. I'm just saying, I'm trying to understand. Yeah.

Cause I was gonna say, you know, it would have to fit. Like maybe I can mold it into the shape of a chainsaw. That'd be like gray Play-Doh and red Play-Doh. Yeah. Okay, so I have your, what do you think of the Nicaricada thing by the way? I am a little disappointed that his son tested for cocaine. I don't even know how you even get 25.

His daughter. I don't even know how it's possible that you can even get a hold of 25 grams of cocaine. I remember one time I went to a dispensary and I fucking hated everything that smelled in there. So the fact that he had 25 grams of cocaine on him is just crazy. You went to a cocaine dispensary? What do you mean you went to a dispensary? Well they smell differently. I mean cocaine smells way worse. Yeah. This cocaine, the smell, it kind of looks like, you know, laundry detergent.

You know, like powdered laundry detergent. Doesn't smell like it smells like gasoline. Probably because of the mix of the cutting agents. Yeah, it has a very horrible smell. My only reference point for cocaine was that scene from Aqua Teen where fucking Carl was describing mental floss. It was like, you know, back in the 80s when we used to make cocaine with bleach. Yeah. I'm like, I mean, yeah, I know. I've heard the story of people like, you know, shorting cocaine by mixing it with stuff like baby powder

and God knows what. I guess I've seen people try to make meth out of battery acid. Yeah. You've seen people making meth out of battery acid? I'm asking you because you have a lot of experience in like foster homes and shit. What do you think about Nick's situation?

That's why I'm asking. I feel like, I don't know how the hell his daughter, of all people, ended up getting a hold of that unless it was just spread out fucking everywhere. I mean, I remember when I lived at my old apartment complex, I knew all kinds of drug addicts who were so burnt out that they wouldn't even lock the doors to their room. Like you could literally just gently push the door open. You just find them like mid overdose on the ground. I remember one guy.

Did you do that? Just push it open and peek at them? No, never. No? I mean like they do have their doors open and then I would just look at them and they would just be like all tweaked out and burnt out like it was fucking horrible. It was just sad. I don't even know where you find some of these people. Like they were living in dumpsters before they moved here.

They act like this apartments a prison and they can't leave but like no you can leave whenever you want. No one's keeping you here. They act like this apartment's a prison and they can't leave. But like, no, you can leave whenever you want. No one's keeping you here. And you're just like a bunch of like a bunch of drug addicts and then also you. And you're snooping around like you don't do any drugs, right? No, I knew a lot of people used to do drugs in the kitchen. I knew a lot of people used to do drugs in the laundry room. But, you know, I lived with these people. I didn't do anything with them because I saw what it was making them become.

And it was horrifying Yeah, if you've ever watched like fucking train spotting like, you know, it's it's like that but worse. Yeah, okay What was the worst one you saw? What's one? What's one of the worst ones? Yeah, how'd that go? Who's a black tar heroin guy? I Remember the day I moved in it was my first day I walked over to the guy said hi he ran over to me started screaming it's like who the hell do you think you are coming near my door? I'm like, she's saying hi! That was day one of ten years.

How are you, why do you have to deal with these situations that like I mean no one would be equipped to deal with these least of all, no offense, but least of all you. And you got to deal with a Black Tar Heroin junkie screaming at you the first day you're living with them? Yeah. I've known Black Tar Heroin addicts. I've known cocaine addicts. I've known molly addicts. I've lived with all of them in the same place for like 10 years.

Oh my God. What was the difference between them? The molly addicts and the cocaine addicts? Well, I knew one guy who pretty much gave himself brain damage after doing a lot of it all at once and he was so Fucked up that he literally just stopped bathing after a while. He literally smelled like a shit monster This was in your like you're like how many people lived in this apartment together was it like a building This was in your like, you're like, how many people lived in this apartment together? Was it like a building? He means a complex. So this apartment complex had like 30 people living in it all in one time.

There were some rooms that you would have to buy for yourself. So, and there were other rooms that you could either pay double for if you want to keep for yourself. Otherwise, if you paid less, you would have to have a roommate. I can't even imagine being in the room you have to have a roommate in. You're living in a place like this all together. It's fucking horrible. Yeah. But you room you have to have a roommate in. You're sitting in a place like this altogether, it's fucking horrible. Yeah. Yeah. But you've never had to have a roommate.

No, when I lived at my old apartment complex for 10 years, I had dorm mates, you know, it wasn't the same. Like we shared a bathroom. I had one guy who poured paint in my toilet and paint in my sink. And then when he got off his high, he was like, what the hell is there paint in the bathroom? Yeah. Why do you do that? Why did you do that do you think? He got fucked on meth. He was fucked on meth for like two weeks and then he got off of it

and he looked in the bathroom and was like why the hell is there paint everywhere? Yeah. I've heard that that meth guys will just like jack off all the time. Like they just nothing feels better. They're constantly horny. Yeah, that's what I've heard. Like, they can't subconsciously reach their dopamine receptors. So they're just kind of like, they're desensitized in a way where they can't feel anything. Like, both on a physical and like on a spiritual level. It's like they're dead. Like I know people like to use the NPC meme, but like they are just, they're not even people anymore.

You look at them and you like, nothing, the light's out. It's like a light bulb that went out. I've also seen people smoke meth out of light bulbs. You saw someone smoke meth out of a light bulb? Yeah. It's glass, right? I mean, you know.

Why not? This is happening in the courtyard of your apartment complex that you're living in? Front desk. Front desk? Yeah. Yeah, like the people who were working at my apartment complex, they had a lot of rules and they didn't enforce any of the rules, but they had one golden rule, which was if you touch anybody, like if you physically assault anybody, you're done.

Right. Everything else between like doing drugs in your room, doing drugs in the hallway, you're going to get like a stern lecturing. Like imagine like a 1950s elementary school teacher just going, oh, you naughty boy, you need to stop that. But no, fighting absolutely over the line, but doing drugs, you know, not their problem. Yeah.

I mean, this is America, that's fine. 10 years you lived like that? Yeah. What was the- If I would come home, my whole fucking building would smell like weed. Every room had like some kind of brown weed being just smoked. It's funny, like the dirtiest bathroom that you've ever sat in smells better than my apartment complex. You lived there for 10 years? Yeah. I lived there from 21

to 29. When did you move? Let's see, I was in a different fucking charity place that I was living in for a year. And then when I turned 21, I then moved there. And I think I met Dick like a year later. And then I was living there every other day up until I was still living there. I think the third time I went on Dick's show. Yeah, you were. When Dick remembers when I was on the show and I was depressed, I was back when, you know, COVID was over and it was time to tell all the people to get the fuck out of the apartment because they want to get new people in because there's only an age limit for how long.

I remember this call. Yeah. And that was when I was telling Dick, I was like, Dick, I don't know how to tell you this or not, but I think I'm hitting the point where I'm hitting a pursuit of happiness moment where I might be homeless soon. Yeah. And that was when I asked you guys to send me the clothes. Because that was when they told me, it's like, Murray, because I was when they told me is like Murray you're 28 years old You're four years past your go-by date, and I don't know why the hell you're still here But you got to go that apartment complex shut down because of money laundering Shocker a bunch of people who are too drugged up to stop in anything to say anything or notice anything right and they're stealing money Yeah, that's probably supposed to go to... Classic government program, right? Yeah.

Only slightly better than the for-profit prisons and such that will do it directly. Yeah. Like where profit is... the money laundering is just called profit. Yes. That's amazing. Okay, so you... I once saw a guy literally snort Zoloft. Yeah.

Why Zoloft? Huh. Thought it was something else. Because he just had it. He wanted to snort something and he had like medication but you know that's all he had. Yeah. Somebody who's been on Zoloft I can't even fucking imagine snorting that. I was on 980 milligrams of Zoloft and 780 milligrams of Seroquel once. So the idea of someone like crushing that up and snorting it is crazy. Yeah, that's an odd one. Yeah, what's the most you ever saw someone do? Like the most heroin or molly or whatever? Well, I knew a guy who went into the building and overdosed during his housing interview

in front of the landlord and told him to tour once and she would think... Come even hold it together for the... Hold it and go outside saying the tour is over. Wait! Sorry, I was laughing. Say that again. He or she that overdosed? A man or a woman? A he. Okay, so he went into the

housing interview to get a place at this drug den. Which ultimately turned out to be a scam. And he got a tour of the apartments and overdosed during the tour yeah he overdosed during the tour and then when the people came to come and you know detox him he came back and he overdosed again week. What did he look like? Uh, young, like 20s, just depressed. I felt bad for the guy. I'm like, I don't know how you could be that young and just mentally stop caring about life.

Yeah. Did he? I had a guy who had gangrene in his fucking foot because he stopped bathing after a while. Jesus. Why'd he stop bathing? Because he was mentally braided. You take drugs all day. You stop caring. Yeah. Wow. Overdosing twice.

Wow. In your housing interview. The interview is the... So rough. At least it won't happen again. Right. Give me another chance. Yeah.

I'm going to do a little... What did he overdose on? Do you know? It was probably molinate because I remember he had a friend living there who was psychotic Yeah, I do a little what are you overdose on do you know? It was probably Molly because I remember he had a friend living there who was Psychotic who went to prison for stabbing an uber driver and on Molly Yeah, he would go into his room And he would go he would open the door because the door was never locked and you would find the guy like mid overdose He would just loop through his stuff and take his stuff see

And you would find the guy like mid overdose. He would just look through his stuff and take his stuff you see Bro, how did you live like this for ten years with people looting? It's like you're describing just like basically skid row skid row, but with walls like what the fuck man So I have a PDF file on the place, I think I sent it to you do you ever read it I don't remember seeing it. Yeah, maybe. Where'd you send it to me? On email or? I emailed it to you. Okay, let me look. And I still have it if you want it. Yeah.

Yeah, email it to me again or DM it to me right now. I have your, I have your your grandpa's book. Oh, you... To a children's village. Grandpa to a children's village with me. You sent me this book and you sent me a nice note. I sent you that because I wanted to give you more context.

Which was like believe me the six years I lived in the village was bad But the ten years I lived at my old apartment complex was worse. Yeah Hmm man the shit that you have seen is just like this and you're saying it is like normal. It's really crazy Yeah, yeah I could write a hundred stories about stuff I've seen. I've seen some horror. You were talking about foster youth earlier. Yeah. As someone who's been in the foster system, it's worse than you think. It's the legal equivalent to trafficking. I believe it. I believe it. The legal equivalent to trafficking,

you said? Yeah. Because you have a government agent come into your house telling you that your parents are retarded and that you have to go with these strangers to a place that you don't want to go to, so they take you there and then bring you to a place full of people who you don't know or don't respect or have any kind of like understanding of and they go and they treat you like shit. I lived in a foster home that was filled with people who were all fired for being too rough in a juvenile hall. So they went to a foster home.

Wait, the whole house was run by two rough juvenile hall, like wardens? All the kids there, I think. Oh, the kids there or all the parents? There's a foster home that I live right. There was a foster home that I went to when I was 11. It was right next to a juvenile detention center. And there were a bunch of people there

who got fired from the juvenile detention center for how they were treating the youth. Got it. So they didn't get a job in a foster home. It was literally right next door to the place they got fired from the juvenile detention center for how they were treating the youth. So they didn't get a job at the foster home. They were literally right next door to the place they got fired from. What do you mean they got a job at the foster home? It's not like they left there. They got a job there immediately because they needed people to just work there

and they treated the youth there the same way. Yeah. I mean, we're thinking like foster. We're thinking like family. Yeah, but it's not like that. I'm thinking like Shazam. Did you see Shazam? I didn't. No. That's like a Hollywood Foster. Documentary, yeah.

We had a whole economic system there. It was called the point system, where every day you would wake up and you would have to make something called points, which is like, if you ever heard like the joke of good boy points is essentially what this is. So you had to make 10,000 points a day, because if you didn't, they would put you on. Yeah.

I was thinking he was going to say like five or ten. This is my life for three months until I went to the children's village. Teaching math too. So basically what they would do is that they would say you have to get a, you have to get a bare quota of 10,000 points a day. How can you get a point? Right. Every amount of points you would get would be an eight. Yeah. So your points would be an eight.

Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, what happens if you don't get 10,000 points? What happens if you don't get 10,000 points? How can you get a point? So your point should be in between 5 and 4. Wait, wait, wait, sorry, what happens if you don't get 10,000 points? What happens if you don't get 10,000 points? They throw you out? So there's a litter system there, right? And the bare minimum of what they want you to get is P+. And P+, essentially it's like, oh, you met your quota for today, so we're not gonna, you know, bother you unless you feel like you're doing something that we don't approve of. But if you get put on P- you're gonna have a horrible fucking day today because. But if you get put on P minus, you're gonna have a horrible fucking day today because P minus is for people who literally cannot

just follow the rules or meet their point quota because P minus is when all of the people who work at the center are going to be giving you shit all day because if you don't meet your point quota. Slaping your penis? What's going on? What's giving you shit in a foster home? So giving you shit is that if they feel like if you're constantly on P- or if you didn't meet your quota, you're a problem child, which is a horrible mindset to think of because

the child is already terrified of being here. He doesn't want to be here. So when you put them on P- they're already in the mental headspace of like, they already hate me already. So what good is there? Eventually you then go from P minus to O which is observation and what observation means is that they take you they put you in your room and they lock the door and you're there all day man you're not fantasy how can I get an O rating in my own house that'd be fucking amazing were there actually like bad kids there because you seem like you're a good Yeah, no Face story I had at this foster home was when I sat down on like a fucking

Set of swings and there was a guy sitting right next to me and we both looked at each other He was looking at me and then he picked up a rock and then he threw it at a window And then when a staff came out and said who the fuck threw this rock murdered And when a staff came out and said who the fuck threw this rock? Murr did. He pointed at me and I got minus. I wanted to kill him. They just believed him? When they dragged my ass to my room I'm like you're dead.

You hear me? I will fucking find you. I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking never forget this, what you did to me. Murr. Oh my god. You're like living in a fucking nightmare dude. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha been homeless for a while, stuff like that. And the people who are mentally aware, like two, without exception, fucking horrific shit happened to them in their childhoods.

Like it's just- Horrific shit happened to him too, and he's fine. I mean, ish. No, I mean- He knows the difference between right and wrong. Yeah, and you're not- And he's trying to do right. You're not an addict, yeah.

Somewhere along the line, you picked up some good things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the reason why I haven't lost my mind yet is because I developed a healthy focus grip and I think dick becoming my friend is what helped with that. No, you've lost your mind. You're just still a good person, I think.

There's a difference. Yeah, somewhere in there is a morality and a, yeah. What were some other bad kids? Like what happened to that kid too that framed you? That little fucker, let's find him and kick the shit out of him. So, the day the kid threw the rock at the window and I got P- was the day I was going to go to the Children's Village because Lord knows if I had to spend one more fucking day at Valley of the Moon, I was going to kill someone. Valley of the Moon.

Children's Village. Why do they call them curses? Yeah. Valley of the Moon. It sounds like a Twilight movie. Yeah. Valley of the Moon. Or like a... Native American

One initial thought that you or Sean might be having right now It's like how do the kids not just immediately think about running away No They did you see what they would do is that they would build a set of fences that were just tall enough for a kid to Climb over and then go to the other side and then like make a break for it The problem was because of the Valley of the Moon is built, there's miles and miles and miles of road. And if you don't have any bus money or a car or any kind of like method to get anywhere,

you're hitchhiking. So by the time you get all the way down the fucking hill, there's already a police officer literally just like patiently waiting for you to get there because you're going back up. Eventually you get so sick of being at Valley of the Moon, they take you to juvenile hall. So now you feel like you're being punished even worse. Right. And don't they? I've heard cases. It's like a revolving door. Yeah. I've heard cases where cops or judges will get kickbacks for sending kids to juvenile hall because the juvenile halls are like for profit. Wouldn't surprise me. So they'll just like sentence.

Yeah, yeah. Juvie, send them a juvie, send them a juvie. Did you hear anything about that or does that happen? Go ahead. So I had a point quota of like 10,000 points every day and I learned something really fucked up about these points is that not only can you fucking have them, you can shoot them. No, no, no, no, they're fucked up already.

Already making someone in their mind wake up thinking that they're at a deficit of behavior is massively abusive Big time massively abusive. This is like psychotic Concentration camp level shit. This is like Skinner box CIA torture what you're describing It's completely deranged that is happening Yeah, I had one person point out that I had met my point quota every single day for the three months that I had met there and then I learned that you can actually trade these points in

for stuff in a closet. Now what's fucked up is that this closet used to be a lost and found. So all the stuff in that closet used to belong to someone that you can trade your points in to take from someone. So I went in there and I was told it's like, you know You just spend whatever you want yours like this sounds like commissary Like, you know where you just grind up good boy points in there and then you can buy something in there But I felt a little bad because this used to belong to someone but now belongs to me and I feel like Some kids probably really mad. He didn't get to take this with him

I didn't even take any of the stuff I had when I bought the stuff in the point closet What did you get in the point closet? What'd you get? When I bought the stuff in the point closet, what did you get in the point closet? What'd you get? PS one in there that used to belong to a kid in there and I grabbed that and I felt like such a hero to the people were in my room because I brought that as like this is for everyone to play with. Everyone came to me and we all hugged and it was great. Honest to God, Lord of the fly shit. It's like we're going to make it through this. I think it's more holes. Next month, 2016, you would have like five boys in a room with this one that

we have to share and we're like yeah we're gonna make it through this. Yeah. I have a I have a list that you sent me. You sent me a very nice letter with this with this book. I really appreciate it and you also have. That letter needed 200 rewrites by the way. You should have seen some of the old letters I was trying to write. You started on the wrong side of the paper too, I noticed, but we don't need to- Oh yeah, I wasn't paying attention when I stapled it. I had to hurry and get it over to the post office. You had to hurry.

Look at the size of the hurried letter, Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you had a lot to say. I really appreciate it. You have some really fascinating stories. It says, here's a comprehensive list of stories I want to tell Dick someday. Uh, the time I shit myself on Easter Sunday, which was yesterday. Oh yeah.

That's a story of a while. Oh yeah, uh, when it was Easter, I went and had McDonald's and I gave myself food poisoning and then when I was on my way home, I shat myself, but thank God nobody saw me do it, so I kind of just, it was like well, this could be worse Well, how'd you deal with the shit? Do you know I So the closest McDonald's near my house is like an hour walk and since there's no buses on Easter I had to walk all the way there

Okay, so I ain't there and I'm walking all the way back to my house and I'm like 45 minutes into the walk and then I shit myself Thankfully, there are no people to see me shit myself. So it was really bad. But what do you have? What do you have to eat? I had a chicken nugget, which I almost choked on. You had a chicken nugget and you shit you shit a chicken nugget? A chicken nugget? Yeah Yeah I choked on chicken nuggets. What did you just did you just crab walk back to the house with shit in your pants? Yeah.

I mean like, because there's no public bathrooms anywhere in my city. So if you really have to go, you gotta hold it in and pray. And you know, you don't live in like a crack den now, right? No, I live in a crack neighborhood, but I don't live in a crack den. Okay. Um, number two, the time I shit myself at the Oakland A's baseball stadium to take the theme accident, it says. Are there some that says on purpose? Back in my old foster home, there used to be all kinds of random strangers who would donate us stuff because it makes good for a tax re-exempt. And we got tickets to the

Oakland A's stadium and we got front row seats. Now the problem is if you have to go to the Oakland A's stadium. It's a shithole. Yeah, it's really, it's really big. And the bathroom is halfway across the stadium. So when I had to climb all the way up those stairs, I still had to circle around the entire arena to find the bathroom. By the time I got there, I shat my pants. So I then had to go to the bathroom

and I sat there for like hours and then I had a security guard knock on the door. It's like, bro, you've been in there for hours. What are you doing? It's like, bro, I crap myself. I'm like, somebody's gotta use that bathroom, dude. It's like, bro, find me some pants. So he found me a jacket and he told me to wear it like pants.

And that's basically what I did for the whole day. Like a skirt? He probably meant tie it around your waist. Yeah, how did to wear it like pants. That's basically what I did for the whole day. Like a skirt? He probably meant tie it around your waist and wear your pants. Yeah, how did you wear it? How did you wear the jacket? I basically flipped the jacket upside down and I just I just lifted it up to my chest and I held it like pants and I held it on both sides because you know you can't hold this up with a belt so you have to hold it up. So you have this guy who's walking back into the arena like holding a jacket underneath his stomach area and he's like trotting along. I feel like Eric Andre in that one skit where

he's got like somebody on his shoulders and he's walking into a car lot. Yeah. Did you put your legs through the sleeves? Yeah. Yeah. Pants because you know, I could throw out the other pair of pants because I wasn't keep a pair of shit-covered pants in My backpack. I want to post here again threw them in there They didn't have an extra set of pants for you like nobody nobody at the whole fucking stadium They didn't have lost some found what they're gonna give them Look how I treated the first pair So much training equipment at the stadium they easily could have found you some fucking pants

They would have taken effort. Yeah, I would have taken a tiny bit of effort they gave you a jacket it's pretty good and gave me a jacket to wear as pants yeah okay shit in it probably did you just leave your like underpants and your pants in the in the stall I threw them in the garbage I threw them both in the garbage I put them on the jacket his pants and I walked back to my seat they were like why the hell where are your pants? I'm like, you don't wanna know. So your underwear didn't help.

Like, you know what I mean? Like if he, yeah, that would, hopefully that would maybe create a buffer between you and your pants and you could just throw away your underwear. Why did you leave it for so long before you got the shit? No, Sean, you don't get it. The shit was, it was like a liquid mass it. The shit was It was like a liquid mass

It was just, it was like a cannibal Okay, all down the legs and everything Yeah, it's always like that Well, I mean, yeah, I guess a lot came out You're shitting your pants, it's not a big piece of poop Well, no, no, true, but you sometimes maybe not that much comes out but apparently enough to

I mean, I remember at one point in time I shat in my social worker's car and he looked at me and said, you do not just shit in the car. This happens a lot. Murray you have to shit like regularly. It's probably just diet or something. You should go like you should go at like regular intervals even when you almost don't have to go. I once sat on my friend's car and his license plate popped off. Yeah. Because you're so fat or because of shit? I mean, I sat on the hood of the car and the license plate just popped off.

Yeah. Okay. The entire license plate? Yeah, just popped off. There's like that time I sat on my desk and then it broke. I had one guy run over to me and said, Murray, Murr, you have a thunder ass. Yeah. Yeah, you got a 52 inch waistline. You're enormous. How much do you weigh? I'm thinner in Vito though. How much do you weigh? I have no idea.

What if we send you a scale? Will you- do you have access to a scale or can we send you one? Yeah, one downstairs. Like literally after the call, I'll go weigh myself and I'll tell you right then. I'll also send you that PDF. Okay. The time I ate ramen for 30 days and ended up in the hospital. Oh yeah, I told Justin Wang that story. When I was in college, I had nothing in my house

other than ramen, baby carrots, and granola to eat. That was all the food I had in the house. I went over to a food bank and I learned that one crate of ramen, which is 500 packets of ramen, is worth $1. So every ramen in there is like one cent. So I thought to myself, all right, I'm going to live in Narotodon. I'm going to eat ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

So what I would do is I would open the ramen up from the packet and I would eat it raw like a cracker. And I'd do this every day for three days. 28 days later, I ended up in the hospital and I had a guy go over to me, it's like, Murr, I don't know how to tell you this, but you have an ulcer the size of a golf ball. What have you been eating? It's like ramen, raw.

Yeah. So he told me it's like, all right, I'm gonna eat it. I would think he had him shit for 30 days. No, I did, I caught Naruto tired. So I got this weird chalky white substance that was kind of like a super laxative and when they gave it to me I just shat for like five hours. Yeah Murray you need to shit that ulcer out because you can't eat ramen anymore

You almost gave yourself like a pseudo heart attack eating all this stuff So I went home Shit an ulcer out. What do you mean? So the guy said you have something in your stomach that looks like an ulcer out. What do you mean? So the guy said you have something in your stomach that looks like an ulcer Oh, you got a really bad constipation or like okay like a gas pocket or something. It looks like an ulcer Let's see. Is this a doctor or a guy? Doctor Addiction to black tar heroin

I drank it and I just shat liquid for hours. I was so dehydrated when I was done. Oh God. Okay. I ate some salty ramen. So don't do that for 30 days in a row. You're saying that's what you learned. This is you had a 10day psychological evaluation in is this for a person yeah there's a person in chat right now who said wait a minute

Demersa he was really on Serkul and Zoloft of that high of dose for yeah a long time I'm like yeah yes yeah I went to a place in Vallejo called Saint Helena I was put there when I was 13 I was back when I was really manic like manic to the point where I threw a cinder block through the window of someone's car What kind of car was it? I Was like a Rolls Royce. Oh Why'd you do that whose car was it? It was angry. Yeah Yeah. If you lived in a foster home, you'd be angry too. Yeah.

So when you're going to school and you live in a foster home. Yeah. So I got told it's like, so you remember when you remember the day, do you remember the day you did it through the cinder block, through the car? What happened that day? I think it was like maybe the month after my 13th birthday because I got arrested and then I got taken to St. Helena and they told me it's like we're not taking the juvie but you are gonna be spending some time in this psych ward so they took me there and the first thing that happened was

that the people who work there are a lot like the people who were at my previous foster not the one that I was at the one previous to that they told me it's like listen we're here you're under our supervision so if you give us any kind of shit I mean at all you're going into ISO. And I looked at the ISO room, it's like, yep, it's exactly like my old foster home. The first thing that happened was that they took me to my room and I sat down, I lied down on my bed, sorry, my bed. And the first thing I realized that I'm having a hard time breathing right now. And I realized that somebody was suffocating me as a fat guy went into my room and put a pillow on my face and just started pressing down and just trying to,

you know, suffocate all the air out of my lungs and then two doctors came and grabbed him, restrained him and put him into ISO. So that was my room. You realize that I'm having a hard time breathing and then you realize that someone was trying to suffocate you? My girlfriend tells stories exactly like this. I lied down, I closed my eyes and then someone ran that someone was trying to suffocate you? My girlfriend tells stories exactly like this. I lied down, I closed my eyes and then someone ran into my room and put a pillow on my face and tried to suffocate me. Why? Another inmate?

They just don't like you? They just don't like the way you look? Yeah, literally no person there. Is it his car? He had like... So, I was there for anger issues. He was there for like severe schizophrenia. And the moment I came in, like he just had the mental conclusion that he wanted to kill me. Yeah. Like he ran in, he put the pillow on my face, he tried to just

suffocate all the air out of my lungs and they went and restrained him, they took him into ISO and I listened to him scream in his room all day. Did you feel good about that? Like, ah, fuck you guy. Take that. So in the ten, so in the ten days that I was there, I had to listen to this dude scream because he was constantly being sent to that room. I spent ten days there, like, being put on Seroquel and Zoloft. They gave me 980 milligrams of fucking Zoloft and 780 milligrams of Seroquel. And, like, I remember one time I woke up and I looked outside and I'm like, wow, I got up early today and the fucking sun's out. And then I realized it was six in the afternoon. I'm like, was there just a moment I just stopped breathing? Cause why the hell is the sun out?

Like, like I am, I'm micro dosing on like these fucking antidepressants that I don't even want and like fucking. That's not a micro dose. I remember one- I don't know what the dosages are on those. Yeah. Seems high. When I hear hundreds of anything, that's usually high for it.

Yeah, unless it's like a cheeseburger. You know, like the full dose of Lexapro is like 20 milligrams. Yeah. I remember when they first put me on that stuff, I had like a tweak in my neck, and all of a sudden I was having a hard time trying to like keep my neck straight.

Like it was like an owl, like turning my neck. They came over to me, they like shot something into my neck and they came over to me. They like shot They would they did what sorry Well, I was having a hard time like, you know adjusting to my meds because my neck was like spazzing out or whatever So they like shot something in my neck They took me back to my room and I woke up and it was the following day So I woke up at 6 and like a weird I woke up and it was the following day. So I woke up at six and like a weird tweaking session and then I cruised in like the shots

and then I woke up the next day. Yeah. And that was your 10 days in, that was your psyche valve for 10 days. Yeah. Did they figure out what to- I think on the ninth day, they finally let me to go outside to the smoking lounge

and I put them into a ball and I started crying because like, you know, they have like this one little patch of fake grass and I just rolled into a ball and I started crying because like you know they have like this one little patch of fake grass and I Just rolled into a ball, and I'm like I want to go home. I spent the whole time there reading goosebumps and playing air hockey. Yeah. Wow. What was your favorite goosebumps? Probably the one where they go into the basement. Yeah, okay Probably the one where they go into the basement. Yeah, okay Yeah, you got a lot of stuff about foster kids in here man, that's like a whole other can of worms

Seriously next time next time you call in tell us about foster kids stuff because that sounds like a fucking nightmare Yeah, I've got hundreds of stories. Yeah, I'm in my old foster home because I had a charity event there. Go over to him, it's like, you guys are literally the worst human beings on the planet. This kid has told us horrible things about you, don't ever associate with us again. And the woman who ran that foster home went over to me, it's like, I want you to pack your shit and get out of here.

Like the mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic-

The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- The mic- You can turn 18. Yeah. I remember I was at my college. What did you tell them? So you like shut down her money train. You got you like sold her out. OK, go ahead. Money training would imply that the foster home, which was a nonprofit, was making any money, which we weren't.

It was losing money like hundreds by the day. So we had this house on the property that they were going to convert into a place for kids who turned 18, a place for them to go. But the problem is, if you're living at this horrible foster home, you don't want to deal with the people who work here or associate with it in any way.

So they have all these people who are really gun-ho on the people that they are really wanting to put in this house, and they already have all kinds of shit dealing with right now and they don't want to go. I'm the only one who's interested because I don't really have any plans after when I turn 18.

But when I went over to the charity group, because they wanted me to go over there and say good things about them, I'm like, I'm not doing that. Are you fucking insane? I hate everything about you guys. So I go over there and I tell them what's really happening over there

and they call the woman who runs this foster home. What did you tell them? What did you tell them? What was really happening? I was telling them, it's like, bro. I was like, bro, the people who work over at this foster home are unqualified. I feel like the only people who are getting any kind

of job representation here are, they go into their meeting and it's like, oh, do you have a driver's license? Yeah, congratulations, you're a foster parent now. Not even putting any kind of any real reference point to an app outside of like, can you drive the van? So the woman who's running this foster home is having a garden party, you know,

for all of the kids who have pretty much not told her yet. It's like, we're not going into this house. So, like she gets a call on her phone and like they're calling her. They're telling us like, we don't want to associate with you. We don't want to use your house to put those kids in there. So she then went over to me and it's like, shit, I want you to pack your shit and get out of here.

You embarrassed me in front of all these potential fucking investors. I'm like, bro, I don't give a shit. I hate this place. You're a terrible person. You should feel shame for what you did. And the gates to hell, you're going there. Yeah.

Any kind of molesting kids happen at this place? Do you see any of that? I heard a rumor once, not in regards to any of the people who were there But like I remember hearing somebody tell me offhandedly It's like now the reason why we have news people come over to our foster place But we don't have any of the foster children on screen is for their privacy reasons Yeah, and I thought you know that makes total sense But it also feels a little fucked up because you know and it paints the area and like a positive like image

So, you know, yeah, here's the foster home We're not gonna put them in front of the camera Well, I mean do the kids want to tell anything about how their time is spent the foster home? Nope, and they just get it there. That's true. That makes sense Well shit man, I don't know. I got to read your your grandpa's book So this is like a nice guy. This is a book. Who wrote this book? You like this guy, right? Yeah, you like him.

He looks like a nice guy. Oh, he was the best. Unironically, we stayed in touch after the fucking Children's Village shut down. Yeah. So that could that, now what age did you meet him at? I think it was 11 when I met him. Yeah, see, I have, I think I have a idea

where his goodness comes from. Yeah, like you had one person who didn't fuck you over, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a- That's the nicest human being I met there. Yeah. He was easily, like, you know, he was, yeah, he brought a light that I haven't felt in a while, him and another person who worked there who's also not with us anymore. He was just a really nice person.

It felt normal knowing somebody who feels really bad for you in a situation that feels all fucked up. And when you have to spend six years there, it's not exactly the greatest usage of your time because I feel like you look outside and you look at like the front driveway and you say to yourself, you know, I can leave, but where would I go? So you just feel like you're trapped on an island.

Like it's like a mental prison. You're a kid, you're a kid. You don't have any say over your own life. You know what I mean? Especially in that situation. Yeah, man, that's good that somebody was in there kind of, you know, talk and treating you like a person

for no ulterior motive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not like this show. Right. Well, what are you doing now? Do you got any new direction that your pornography is going in

or you got any like projects that you're working on? No, in fact, I've pretty much basically retired from shitposting because if you're broke, you can't buy Wonder Bread art, and that doesn't really fit the gimmick, now does it? You're broke, you don't have a job right now? You're just doing, like, getting by on welfare and stuff? I've been, I'm exactly one year,

I'm exactly one year and seven months into my internship. See, when you have a boss that treats you like an intern, they don't exactly want to pay you. I pretty much paid in toilet paper and fruit pies. Yeah. Which you get pies? Fruit pies go together like peanut butter and jelly, right? Fruit pies, you need the toilet paper. How many fruit pies you get?

I get like two. I get like green and red. Those are the only flavors they have. It's funny that you and Vito are the same amount of productive. Both of you make the same, both of you produce the same amount of value for society and yet Vito is rewarded for it. You know what I mean? I want Vito to consider my sumo idea. We could probably make like a bunch of money for like charity event. I think it'd be funny.

Okay. Somebody's shitting themselves I'll ask him. I'll bring it up to him. Yeah, we're gonna have to get away in for you because we Funny you guys are in sumo diapers, you don't need a moat involved in it might need to rinse off afterwards Yeah, yeah, well rinse you off. Don't worry about that I'll try to rinse off afterwards. Yeah. We'll rinse you off. Don't worry about that. Where would you go?

And you know, Vito's a big, how would you approach Vito? Would you, where would you try to grab him and flip him over? Look, I, look, cause you know, you both have to get into like a squatting formation. You both gotta lift both sides of your feet and you gotta stomp down.

And then you gotta run like a football guy who has to hit the tackling dummy. And I feel like all I gotta do is I gotta go for Vito's legs and then he'll fall. But you know, me falling... He's got skinny legs. He's got little legs. Yeah. Vito falling on me doesn't exactly push me out of the circle, so I'm not gonna lose in

that regard. All I gotta do is just push Vito out of the circle and you know, we're good. We're golden. Yeah. Yeah, I think I would bet on you. I don't know. You seem to have a good game plan. I don't know if Vito has that. And you do you sound like you have big legs, right?

52 inch waist. It's a big leg. I mean. I mean, I walk everywhere, so that's true. I mean, it's you know, drives everywhere, right? I don't have never seen him walk. That's true. He just floats down like the guy. I once had someone tell me, he's like Murray you walk like Usain Bolt runs like you're in four different places at once and no one can never know where you are at any point. I've never heard this lesson. Who do you know that tells you these things who are like your contemporary your friends up there? People in my art streams. And where can we go to

see your art streams? You should, I mean, you have to, you gotta do something. I thought you were gonna draw some stuff for me. Remember when you said you're gonna draw every day and send it in? Yeah. I think I ended up losing that art book that, uh, I forgot the guy who sent it to me. I think it got stolen. Stolen? Motherfucker. Disappeared, saying in any case.

Alright, well, if you can think of anything to raise money for Riley's legal defense besides the sumo thing, obviously I'll bring that up to veto. I think he should just go to a foster home myself. Veto? Riley. I'll probably be running that. No shit. Foster home.

No shit. Take it over from the inside. Yeah. Yeah, if you can think of anything else, let us know, man. I was in the idea of wanting to market bacon fat as a dipping sauce. It's not disgusting. Wow.

What do you dip in it? How do you keep it liquid? Well, you see, you know, bacon fat kind of coagulates after a while and I thought to this is like, this is my version of a shower. It was like, if people can rub coconut oil on their body. Why can't I eat bacon fat? It's total sense. You know what it totally does You know coagulates and you know, it's got the texture consistency of chunky salsa, you know, it tastes like walk if you know pretend

Yeah texture consistency of chunky salsa. You know, it tastes like guac, if you know, pretend. Yeah. It tastes, it sounds disgusting though. Bacon, coagulated bacon fat. Well, flavoring in it maybe. See, you know, it looks like paste, but you know, like dick. Let's say you're at a restaurant, right? And you're thinking about your wagyu.

You're asking, what would you like with your steak? He's like, man, just smear a thing of bacon fat on it. Cause it's spreadable and edible. Okay, I'm on, I'm on board now. Yeah, I agree with you now. Spreadable and edible. Okay. I'm on I'm on board now. Yeah, I agree with spreadable and edible He's even narrow fucking tagline like See what I mean, yeah, there's nothing that there's nothing there's nothing concrete saying that he shouldn't be a huge success You know, I yeah spreadable and edible. I know all this shit that he's saying. All right, Murr

Do you have anything else you got any URLs or anything? and edible. I know. All this shit that he's saying. All right Murr, do you have anything else? You got any URLs or anything you want to send people to? No, I mean I got a friend who could really use some help, but I'll send you that like in a DM. Well, tell me who it is. What's it? What help with what? It's a friend who shits his pants a lot. I got a friend in New York who is having a lot of similar problems that I have, you know, because the economy is really bad and whatever. Is it Trump? It's basically the equivalent. Huh?

Is it Trump? Is that who you're talking about? No, it's just a friend, uh, who lives in New York. She like needs stuff and just needs support. And I thought to myself, it's like, you know, I know a lot of people who are really supportive of me, like maybe if they were feeling generous, like, you know, they could help her if they feel like, you know how you made me like, yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, because you know how you made me like a throne account? Well, like she has one. And you know, it'd be real nice if people were, you know, open, like there's no obligation to do it, but be really, really supportive. Like I like to, you know, we like like I like to you know We like helping men though, you know, we're not so big on helping women Okay, it was just like Robin Hood stealing from women and giving it to men that's my whole deal, you know, right Paste her throne link. Let me get a paste her thrown link in this general chat here I'll be in the team later I mean I actually gotta go right now I've uh somethings happening right now I gotta get going

somethings happening oh somethings happening it's not something bad is it this is it related with this girl what do you what do you mean no there's just uh there's stuff that's happening right outside I gotta get going right now so it was good to hear from you okay it's good it's good to talk to you. Call in again. Hope everything works out. Yeah. Is he gone?

Okay. There he goes. Okay. Goodbye, Murr. Good luck. Okay. Something's going on outside. Well, check the news in about an hour. I gotta go right now. Yeah. Something's going on outside well check the news in about an hour I gotta go right now yeah yeah outside what's going on yeah oh boy you get to hear about that girl though yeah that's true you see that Sean that's yeah that's next wife and that's the girl that was arrested with April Imhold he's got a fucking tumbler of scotch or something scotch yeah He can't drink at all now.

Yeah. Totally sober. You know, you can't even have, you can't even do drugs and have a gun federally. That's what they're getting Hunter Biden on. Interesting. You know that? No, I didn't. Isn't that crazy?

Didn't know that, yeah. So all of America is breaking the law. Yeah. If you have any controlled substance and a gun, that's illegal. Isn't that crazy? Didn't know that. So all of America is breaking the law. If you have any controlled substance and a gun, that's illegal. Wow, didn't know that. How the fuck is that for shall not be infringed? Oh, right, I can have a gun, right?

Yeah, but you can't have anything else illegal. How the fuck, why does me having a gun make me doing other illegal shit? The gun should be sacrosanct. You can't make any laws about the gun at all. It makes it illegal. Well, that's how they see, that's how the loop, or they come around it from the side.

Yeah. Oh yeah, okay. Well, if you're doing, if you have any cocaine, obviously, and you have a gun, then that's a felony. Why? Like weed, something that so many people do that is still so illegal in most places. Yeah, like I don't know really it is I don't know that that yes. Yeah, I don't know that that's ever caused somebody to go out on a shooting rampage. No

reefer madness, yeah Dave Kazaklis is a high-flow showerhead a hey dick I'm traveling for work and I got stuck in a cheap hotel The kind of cheap hotel that hasn't changed its bathroom fixtures since the 90s Which means they Still have high flow shower heads. They fucking will shoot a hole through you. It feels like bathing under Niagara Falls Yeah, I didn't realize what they had taken from us until I got it back. I know yeah

I don't want to check out. I don't want to go back to my modern shower. Yeah, yeah, I Took the fucking regulator off of mine. Oh, did you show you yeah? You go and then it was too much. Oh was it yeah see you it back on and I'm like I gotta drill this thing out or something. Yeah. Go fuck yourself and smooches for Sean. Yeah that's my benchmark. If anybody says like something is illegal, I'm like how come you know home loans don't go with the house? Like how come somebody buys your house you can't sell them your home loan rate? Well that would be, you can't make that illegal. Well you can make the shower flow heads illegal so I'm pretty sure you can make sell them your home loan rate. Well, that would be, you can't make that illegal. Well, you can make the shower flow heads illegal. So I'm pretty sure you can make that illegal.

Yeah, right. That's the new, if it's more intrusive than how much water I can dump on myself in the shower, then we can do it. Yeah, sure. Okay. This makes me rage. Hey, Dick, I really can't stand how so many people

lately need some kind of righteous reason to dislike something lately and share it with everyone. They don't seem to realize that they can just dislike something for no reason and move on. These people are gay and retarded, but I keep seeing them everywhere. This comes to mind lately as so many people are trying to cancel the co-creator of Smiling Friends

because of his edgy sense of humor and people he hung out with before a show took off. Well, nobody wants anyone to succeed at anything especially like from nothing. It embarrasses them. It crabs in a bucket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This shit really makes my personal autism a rage when people talk about the 70s rock bands that they were pedophilic and drug addicted rapists or some shit. For example that Zeppelin stole all their songs. I don't know about that.

He doesn't... Wait, that makes him a rage? Yeah. Oh, yeah. People talk about that. Oh, and people talk about that as like with some righteous indignation and... Yeah. Like for fuck's sakes, who cares? Just enjoy it.

And if you don't, then fuck off. It's just art. I don't care what Jimmy Page did outside of being on stage for being, or being in a studio. Everyone would be cancelled if they had thousands of people analyzing their... Well... Lives. Anyway, go fuck yourself, sending my love to Sean Ivan. Yep. Everybody's got to be on the right side of history, and history lasts about ten minutes now. So it's really the last week. The last 24 hours is just very important.

That's right. Nothing else is. That's right. The future isn't important. Until they dig up old tweets or something, you know. Yeah. If somebody's really got a heart on to fucking cancel you, then they're gonna find something. Yeah. They did, they probably will launch like some kind of hit piece on the Smiling Friends guy.

Yeah, I haven't- Because that show's a huge hit. Yeah, I haven't followed that. I know of the show, but- If you're online now, you've said some shit online in the past. That's like, well, that's bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh, no, 100% using today's, you know, arbitrary rules on what is what is okay. I can't be pregnant or something like that I just I always go back to I always go back to the NASCAR driver who they were wondering whether he should be canceled because his dad said some racist shit like in the past, or something that like, it was not okay,

where they were actually like, they were actually contemplating like whether, you know, he should lose his ride for that or not. Like, are you fucking insane? Yeah. That's, that's are you fucking insane? Yeah. That's, that's. His dad? That's crazy.

Charlie says woman alert. All right. There we go. Woman alert. Well, Camelot. Camelot alert. Camelot, that guy that got into NASCAR, that internet guy.

Oh yes. He was a good friend of Nick Krakata's. Is that right? So he's been like, man, I feel bad for him because he like just got into NASCAR and then all of a sudden Nick's getting hit with like an ounce of cocaine and his kid testing positive. Yeah. So he's like, oh, you know, I can't, I can't defend this. It's like, bro, like I get it.

It sucks to be on NASCAR and then this just gets dropped into your lap but look I mean can't you just say nothing do you have like it doesn't matter for me I can defend Nick as much as I want yeah I hate the fucking government I'm pro drugs I don't think any of kids if his kids ever got any cocaine ever I'm totally fine with saying that and I would say that for any of my friends that I really don't think they gave their kids coke I don't fucking believe it I don't believe it make them do it again. Well, I fucking don't trust the government I don't try I don't trust CPS. I fucking trust cops I certainly don't think that Nick would have given his kid coke. Yeah on purpose

I you think you lost a little slip out the back. Maybe I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all Never never have I ever accidentally misplaced a bunch of coke that would get a kid tested positive for cocaine. And for entertainment purposes, you know, I've been doing it a lot more than all of these guys put together. I know something about coke. Okay, what was I... You know? I know something about coke. Uh, okay, what was I?

Oh, yeah, Charlie woman alert. Let me load it up here. It's like a fucking joke. Oh, look at him. Look at him. Yeah Like I've seen cops fuck things up. I've seen social workers fuck things up on purpose. Sure Charlie there he is. Fat woman grinning from ear to ear, probably. Oh, guess what, Mr. Reketa? Your test came back. You know how you revoked your consent form for us to use your tests? Well, turns out your little kid tested positive for...

You know what we're gonna do about that, don't you? She's been quite the little busybody. Quite the little busybody. Taylor Swift sent me a cancer patient hair accessories. Oh, that's good. I stumbled onto the sub and I cannot tell you how happy I was to find a place that called Taylor Swift out on her bullshit.

And I wanna share my Taylor Swift story here because I feel like this is the only place I can do so. This is a rant and it's a bit long, but it's 100% true and showcases the kind of person Taylor Swift is. No, thank you. I don't need to know any of this. Taylor Swift sent me a cancer patient hair accessories.

That's what she gets for sending you anything. Some diatribe on Reddit. And also Taylor Swift had no idea that this person was sent hair accessories. This was just, it's one of the... Some fat chick got sandwich cancer. Dozens of people that she has working for her that writes letters and signs her name. It handles the psycho division of the fans. Yeah, it does all that kind of stuff.

We gotta upgrade you. You've been sending a lot of letters. We're gonna upgrade you to the Psycho Division. Oh, yeah. Where they send you extra hair accessories and barrettes. Right. Sean's Animal Corner, here we go. Oh, we haven't done this in a long time. We have not.

Sean's Animal Corner. What the hell is... What is this shit that they're showing? Is that, I don't know. Uh, okay. Jack says, Capybaras, you know this guy? This is South American, it's the largest rodent in the world, yeah.

They're, they look like, yeah. You know what they look like, right? You've seen them. Yeah, they're cool. They live, uh. They got like talons. Yes. Yeah, I don't know about, do they have? They kind of have talons. They got like big guinea pig, uh... They got like talons. Yes. Yeah, uh, I don't know about talons.

They kind of have talons. They got like big guinea pig feet. They do have big talons. Yeah, they're huge. They're weird. They're huge, yeah, they're kind of cool. They are cool. For a giant fucking rat.

It's kind of disgusting when you think about them that way. Yeah. Yeah, they're really large and they're... Yeah, big teeth too. Apparently, again, kind of a cool personality I've seen too. They can get pretty domesticated like. Yeah, I've seen them, I saw one playing with like a puppy.

Oh really? They had them as both as pets. They can run over 50 kilometers an hour. Did you know that? 50, so that's like close to 30 miles an hour. I would never have thought they would be that fast. That's way too fast. That that true? Let's see. Did you know that though? No, I'd never heard that. I've never seen them run. I've seen them trot around there.

Usually they're by water, you know. They're almost always by water. Oh, you fucking liar! Reach speeds of 22 to 35 kilometers. Yeah. Okay. Trash. Never mind. Okay. Erase it. The whole... Can run up to 56, which is fast... I mean this... Oh, AI overview. Oh, okay. Okay. I mean they're pulling it somewhere, but I mean it's... This AI says it. The AI is so fucked, man. Yeah, I mean... It's saying put glue in pizza. Yeah, that's... I mean, if that's the AI, I'd probably go by some, you know. Let me find like Wikipedia or something. Something, yeah.

35 kilometers per hour. I mean that- Columbine wildlife sanctuary? Look, I mean, they're big kind of heavy set. Their legs aren't- No way they're that fast. But they're, you know, huh. Yeah, that seems fast.

Miles per hour. But in his defense, he probably got it from from the AI maybe but these are supposed to be things that people know already though that's the not AI I don't know that everybody plays by those rules though well strike we can't trust any of these facts from you then Jack sorry you need to do better research job job context for a guy with a girlfriend that can't trust any of these facts from you then, Jack. Sorry, you need to do better research. Jub. Jub. Context for a guy with a girlfriend that can't do halves.

Hello, a few things to say about my girlfriend. First of all, she has double D's and is skinny. Okay, thank you. She also says she was in lower levels of school and had many remediation or types of classes. Got it. So that's what she calls her dumb math, remediation or types of classes. Got it. So that's what she calls her dumb math, remediation. Well, so she's telling the truth.

She's telling the truth. Sort of, yeah. She's telling the truth. Well, I mean, by the vocabulary, you can probably figure that that is true. Buddy, you had me at skinny. Nothing else matters. She can do some kind of math.

The last thing is you want a fat girl who can do math. Cause can she really? You know? I also asked her when you were half your age, how old were you? And she seemed to think for a little while and eventually she got the correct answer. Okay. Okay.

I also asked her what she thought four divided by two was and she correctly said two. That's good. Cause the answer is in the, one of the numbers that you give. Oh, yeah. Okay. I think that she has developed a strange strategy of estimation that helped her through school,

but anything with numbers bigger than one through 20, she gets scared or intimidated and gets it wrong. Yeah, that's true. Maybe give her like, order some fries and dump them out. Like Rain Man the matchsticks or whatever. And tell her to cut it. Tell her to guess how many fries that she wants. And she'll say none and then say like, okay, well, you know, do a real guess. And I bet she'll have a good estimate of like 20.

Like, okay, there's a hundred, there's, you know, 50 fries here, tell me how many you want. What really freaked me out about this whole situation is that she currently is enrolled in a culinary program. Something I didn't think about when I wrote last week's email, which I thought had lots of division and at least the idea of half. Yeah, they can usually eyeball it though.

And she said that when she has a question about amounts and cooking, she asks her classmates or uses her phone's calculator. Well, if you're cooking, really at the end of the day, like whatever works, you know, I mean, you've got your phone there. You're always going to have your phone there. I'd rather you-

Not really, not in a kitchen. I'd rather you make a, I mean, but she's going to know if she's working in a kitchen, she's probably going to memorize some shit too. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. And that's, yeah, you know, but- She doesn't need the math.

Yeah. After you get, after you've made it. It's half a cup, I already know it, half a cup. A few times, yeah. I know what shit looks like, I know it. Yeah, so, you know, she could still make good food. Overall, I don't think her condition is as bad as we originally thought. That's good.

But I think it could still cause problems in the future when she doesn't have classmates or the time in a fast-paced kitchen to use her calculator. Nah, you're overthinking it. She could easily adapt to those situations. Yeah, by memorization. When she's not doing math, she doesn't seem actually stupid or developmentally disabled or anything like that. I think she just has a severe misunderstanding of math and especially division. That's because she's stupid.

misunderstanding of math and especially division. That's because she's stupid. The worst part is being able to, you know, talk and stuff doesn't mean you're not stupid. Yeah. The dumbest people I know are able to talk a lot. Yeah. Oh yeah. The worst part is that I'm almost unable to explain the concept of division to her. Well, don't try twice. I said things like- You have a fucking aneurysm explode or something.

One a year, try it once a year, if you can, just leave it. I've said things like, how many times can two go into 50? That's a terrible explanation. Yeah, well, yeah. But she doesn't seem like she, she seems like she doesn't understand and asked if she should count by twos until she gets to 50.

Yeah. I mean, try it. Sure. You're gonna count to 25. Yeah, one way around it. Yeah. So she kind of got something there. No, she did.

There's an understanding there. Yeah, I'm gonna keep dating her because I still like being around her, but it's definitely strange. Well, man, the worst thing that will happen to you is you dump her and then you get a fatter girlfriend who doesn't know what a straight line is. You know?

And they're like, what's the shortest distance between these points? And you're like, I don't know. Well, show me. Depends. What's in the middle? Which way do you want to go? I could divide that time in half if you want,

but I can't tell you. Okay, Chris, Indian Tech Workers. Hey, Dick, I just wanted to, I just watched your latest episode about talking about Indian tech workers and thought I would chime in. I work for a company that specializes in post H1B restructure and transitions, which is CorproSpeak for saying we are brought in to fire all the Indian guys fix all the shit they broke and stand cloud on-prem and or hybrid environments up enough for a handoff and breed with their women Trump's gonna bring in Indian guys by the truck by the boatload you see that yeah anybody who graduates college gets a green card.

Right, right, right. Americans, you're gonna love this, right? No, none of that is good for me. Even a junior college. Anybody. All the people protesting for Hamas, all those people get green cards. Yeah, well, wait a minute.

You guys like that? But I think his spokesperson said they'd be screened to make sure they're not communists. Oh, oh, oh, okay. The government's gonna do that? Yes. Oh, the same government that's gonna put Trump in jail. Yes.

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, that's great, that's great. Same government that's sending Hamas money, right? Okay, that's cool. I have hours of stu- I can't believe he said that. He's just sitting around with these VC cocksuckers. And all he needs is money now.

He's just fucking Romney with dumber hair. I have hours of stories I could share on the insane incompetence and shenanigans I saw these idiots get up to. But I wanted to share the general trend and all these VC guys are, that's amazing. Yeah, I know, yeah. Do you guys do anything? Spend other people's money. But I wanted to share the general trend and all these VC guys are like, that's amazing. Yeah, I know, I know. Do you guys do anything?

Spend other people's money. But I wanted to share the general trend I always see when this happens. IT departments usually report to the CFO who's a glorified CPA and a tech retard. Particularly retarded CFOs who get their big breaks in the early mid-10s usually did it by denying a hardware refresh for servers,

network storage, et cetera, and just forced the, oh my God, that's a big one. Forced the IT department to lift everything into the cloud instead of five to seven years of hardware costs upfront. CFO looks like, this might be a little bit inside baseball. A little bit. Yeah, I mean, all of Silicon Valley is a giant sham.

None of these people contribute anything. They steal, they steal a lot. My favorite example was a client whose entire office location had been down for three months before we were called. Entire company was working remotely because nothing on the site was reachable. It's because one of the H1Bs had come in,

dismounted a million dollars in network routers, switches and APs, access points, and sold them all on eBay. Before I played back to- Ah! Awesome. People don't realize the concept of something working that is like a trope in American fiction

and like Christmas story, like your dad yelling at you for fucking up. Yeah. That is a uniquely American cultural value. That value is not celebrated in any other culture on earth. Indians don't have stories of their dad yelling at them for fucking up something, for spending a little bit of extra... like the Stitchin' Time saves nine. That is not translatable into any other language. Mexico does not have a tradition of a dad yelling at you for holding a flashlight wrong. That's an American thing.

It never really heard it. No, it's not. Look at the sayings. There is no saying in India for, you know, for hold the flashlight right. That doesn't exist. It's totally different culture. Shit will not just keep working

if that's fundamentally changed. All right, but anyway. What time is it? 2.30? Yeah. Advice, I'll do this and I'll end on this one. Advice, my dad is an alcoholic. Dear Dick, call me Bruce.

My mother has told me my siblings and my siblings that we are going to stage an intervention for my father's drinking. Oh, that's cool. Be exciting. Right? Yeah. You get to write down a whole stand-up routine. Right. Right. His drinking has put a serious strain on my mom and his relationship. Why is this your problem? So I gotta take Saturday off? Cause for context, I'm a 24 year old who recently got fired. I live with my parents along with my 21 year old brother who's doing online college. And I think is trans or non-binary or something.

And my 29 year old sister who was working at a local church at a daycare alongside the occasional house dog sitting. So the whole family lives together? No wonder. Or does he live with the, I'm sorry, I guess over the- While everyone works, my father is the main breadwinner of the house.

The worst of his drunkenness occurred last Tuesday with him pounding on the walls, swearing at no one. Oh wow. Stomping outside the front door yelling into the neighborhood at midnight. Wow. I genuinely have no idea what to say to him other than the typical we are doing this because we love you bullshit. Any advice you can give me would be a tremendous help because you're the only guy I can ask since I have no friends. Thanks and go fuck yourself Shit, I don't know do interventions work

No, we seem like it wouldn't work. Look, I I don't know. I've never really been involved like in an actual intervention Yeah, I I think they have to work some of the time if the person They got to work some of the time. It is receptive. Yeah, it's all dude. It all depends on the person is receptive, it all depends on the person. He could shut it down. You can, nobody can rationalize like an alcoholic or addict. You can fucking, you can spend that shit in your own brain so fucking quick that like, what's all like that they're the bad guys.

Yeah, but then you're gonna what, take off work? And like an intervention, you stopped drinking, right? Well, that's the goal of it, right? The goal of it is to get the person to stop drinking. To say, well, it's not, I mean, it's guilt if they interpret it that way.

Like, I mean, like it's saying like, this is what we used to do. This is how you behave now. You're supposed to feel regret, right? You're, yeah. I mean, okay, so what's the emotion? You're not supposed to feel, it's not supposed to pride you into it, right?

No, but a lot of times what the people feel is probably anger or defensiveness. Yeah. Because you feel like you're being attacked because you know in there that things have gotten away from you and that little glimmer will show itself every now and again. I could imagine it. Everybody knows.

Everybody knows. There's a little bit of them that knows. I could imagine a type of person that an intervention would work on. And I could imagine a type of person that it really wouldn't work on. So it's really hard to give any real advice on it because on the show They always you know, you know what hammers you and it's a show

It's terrible to do that shit on fucking television if you I mean that shows great. What are you talking about? It's I mean It's just hilarious. It's complete. Let's it's like you're always waiting for the end. Come on relapse. Come on relapse Fuck you That's, it's like, you're always waiting for the end. Tell them, like, come on, relapse, come on, relapse. Yes! Right? Ah, ah, fuck you! Cause they get all fat. Odds are that's going to happen. They get all fat and then they do that whole spiel

about how they're good now. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Well now. Diane relapsed two weeks after this. Cause that's, hey, look, it's a lot easier than, it's like, let's see if it keeps being easy. Yeah. You know, when people say that shit,

look at that, I haven't gone in a week. Yeah. Let's see if that's, you know, it's like, let's see if it keeps being easy. You know, when people say that shit, look at that, I haven't gone in a week. Let's see if that's, you know, it's again, I've said it before, but sudden change rarely lasts. See if you can work in like clips from, like quotes from Family Guy and stuff into your, cause you gotta read like a bunch of shit they've fucked you over somehow. Sounds like he's like, I mean, I've seen people, you know, who are so bad that they literally just go yell at whatever, you know?

And a lot of times that's other drugs, but sometimes, sometimes... Yelling outside? Yeah, I've known a guy, it's just fucking booze. There's like... So, I mean, you know you're dead. That's a booze thing. It's hard to... Yeah, you're right.

In that it's hard to, yeah, you're right. It's hard to give any real advice, not knowing him how receptive he might be to this. Has he ever tried quitting before? Has he ever acknowledged that it's like, yeah, I got to cut back or like, sorry, I did that. Like, you know, I drank too much. You know what I mean? Like anything like that, or is it just, no, you know,

everything's fucking fine. I don't know what your problem is. Here's what you do. Here's the advice. Because one is easier than the other. This is your chance to hit dad. You can say whatever you want. If you can get him down,

they gotta tie him down or whatever. I don't know what you do with an intervention. You get him down there, you get him to agree to it. Daughter's probably crying. This is your chance to hit dad and mom at the same time You say you give every one that you give dad every two Insults that you give dad like you fucked up on my fucking little league thing You've been like crying and shit at being crazy at night Mm-hmm and mom is and then you hit her with something, right? Cause she can't say,

she can't undermine your intervention thing without her undermining her own intervention. Look, right? So you got them both. This is the chance to get everybody in the family. You know what I'm saying? And they can't say shit. That's good, that's good advice.

Cause it's definitely, cause it's her fucking fault too. I hear what you, I hear, I hear what you're saying. And there may be, you're supposed to keep it about the person, but it is entirely possible that mom warrants some of that too. Yeah. She's been there the longest, longer than you. It's very rare that one of them will be 100%

doing the right things all the time. You gotta go like, Dad, you're a fucking horrible alcoholic. I know that Mom nags you constantly. But your alcoholism is getting at it. We all have to deal with her too. Okay? We're all sick of it. You don't see me screaming at cars.

Yeah. I fucking hate it too. She's always making me feel like shit. Judging constantly, but we just deal with it and you got a fucking learn to deal with it, right? And she can't say shit without blowing the whole intervention wide open Go go go go go go Hahahaha Right? It's a dirty trick. It's a dirty trick. Oh man

And then afterwards you say you never fucking involve me in your fucking marital problems again. If you married an alcoholic, you fucking deal with it. Right? I got my own shit to do. Fuck you. It's funny. That's good. Good luck.

Good luck. If there one thing I'll guarantee you, it'll be uncomfortable. Make it worse. Every time your brother or sister just go, ooh. Or go like, ooh, you know, like a black guy, go like, ooh. Oh shit.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Oh shit. That'd be great. You gotta, you know, and you do, you kinda. Oh shit. You gotta laugh at it sometimes. Oh's oh shit you'll go crazy if you don't laugh every once in a while or trailer park boys quotes for Lahey yeah like you I think they had an intervention with I fell in love with the wrong damn man just out of nowhere I'm mowing the air, Randy. Bring up, tell your dad shit that Leahy did. Ta-da!

If he destroys Ricky's trailer. Ta-da! I'm mowing the air, Boob Andy. Dad, you totally, I brought a woman home and you were spinning the lawnmower in the air and saying, I'm mowing the air. Do you know how that made me feel? And see if he remembers or if he knows that you're talking about Mr. Leahy from Shailer Park.

We probably won't know that. You're talking about, you're calling me sexy and talking about my big muscles all the time in front of my friends. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of it. Oh my God. I got to cut right back.

You're always talking about the Blanford Recreational Center, that your Indianapolis Jones, putting on a play, pretending that you were fired. Indianapolis Jones. Man, I mean, this is like, this is a gift that you got. You got a long, you're 24, you got a long life. This shit doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if your dad stops drinking or not,

so have fun with it. You know, you're gonna go have your own life. This shit that your parents are doing and making you suffer through doesn't matter at fucking all. Doesn't matter. Totally, totally wrong, but. Me?

Yeah, you. Well, no it doesn't. Cause he has no control over whether his dad drinks or not. No, he doesn't have any control over his dad. So then what does it doesn't. Cause he has no control over whether he's had drinks or not. No, he doesn't have any control over his dad. So then what does it matter? Because if he wants a relationship with him. He can't control that though. He can't, well, he can absolutely control

what kind of relationship he has with him. And that relationship is. He can choose to not have any, or he can choose to engage. And you're not responsible for fixing him. No, you're not. Nothing that you do in this intervention, it has any effect on it. You just, you're attached or you're not. It may, it may have an effect. So will making a big spectacle of it. An intervention may have an effect. And so will

destroying it. Might also work. It will make an impact. That will make an impact. All I'm saying is, no matter what you do, I mean you don't know if you fucked it up or not. Well, you didn't, you're not the cause of his drinking and you're not, you're not the, you're not responsible for him. Yeah. You're not. But you may want to see him do well so you can be involved in his life. Well, you can still be involved, you know. Well, you can choose, well, you know. Well, you can choose,

and you can choose a lot of times the thing to do if they're not gonna change. Yeah. They don't say, is to get yourself out of there. But people have a real fucking hard time doing that. Yeah. They have a real hard time cutting that off. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, you gotta understand that it's, you can't, you can try, but you can, but at some point you don't, you know, it's him. Yeah. It's all him. Get him on coke. Go, whoops, I just dropped him on this cocaine. Is that the uncle, that's the uncle Buck thing, you know?

I said, hey, quit smoking cigarettes. I'm onto cigars now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the five year plan. I'm gonna do that chewing tobacco and then maybe the nicotine gum and yeah. I mean, I don't know, he's asking for advice. So clearly he feels like that he wants to do it correctly.

And I'm saying, no, don't stop, give it up. Don't worry about doing it right or wrong. I would. You're 24, spend your energy on better things. Well, look, correctly. If you, I'm assuming that he wants to be part of it. Well, yeah, you gotta be part of the intervention. No, I mean, he wants to be.

Not like, I'm getting drugged to this fucking thing, in which case, say or don't say. Yeah, get a good Leahy quote in there. And definitely hit mom, all right, this is- Close with the Leahy quote. Yeah, close with the- Ta-da! Make him do a breathalyhalyzer yeah something tells me if he's that it's probably yeah I love that scene I love that scene all right this is hard men

working hard with I'm gay go get a shirt and shop.dick.show and free Riley free Riley dot fund, fucking Riley. We gotta get this Eric July guy. I don't know if I would be saying that. We gotta get him. Okay. There you have it. He released another comic.

Really? Yeah, he made an animated trailer and the guy, it's like he's voiced by like a gay voice actor for no reason. You wanna hear it? Yeah, I kinda do. Okay. It's Gooding.

Gooding. Gooding the Plymouth. He's just opening just so many worlds here. Look, oh man, did you see that? Did you see that title Do you see that? Yeah, I did. I did. Man that looks tough. A guy with no sleeves

The polymath Polymath. Polymath. So sorry. Yeah, that's right. It's pronounced polymath. Polymath. But like poly meaning many and I put the emphasis wrong. Well, he's basing it on the Greek word the polymath, but he pronounces it polymath. To be cool, Eric does. Oh he does, so I did say it right. Polymath is the correct word. Yeah, polymath is because like poly, yeah.

Like many, like you're, yeah, you're the, you're great at many things. Yeah. Great at many things. Yeah. But they, goodying. Yeah, great at many things. Yeah. But they, good ying is a polymath. Got it. Okay, here we go. I'm Kato Gooding, owner and operator of Gooding Services.

Oh boy. Okay. Yeah, it was the first sentence before the comma, after the comma. Yeah. You know? Play that first sentence again. That was, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought you might like this. I'm Kato Gooding. But it was the first, it was okay. And then the second it was like. Yeah. I'm Kato Gooding, owner and operator of Gooding Services. Gooding Services, yeah. I've done work all around the city of Flores Park.

But there's a reason why we're based out of Shadow Valley. The city has its police force and elements. Hey man, how about like, the world is in danger? I'm Kato Gooding. The world is falling apart around us. And I'm here to service, to meet, and I'm here yeah, I'm getting some interest. Yeah, the world is falling apart around us. Right. And I'm here to service, to meet, I'm here to protect you. So I'm coordinating with local law enforcement and city leaders.

It's like a fucking ad. Dude, give me a fucking break. Alpha Core. It even has superheroes that patrol the streets. They're more than capable of dealing with various limits. They're called the streets. They're more than capable of dealing with various- They're called the police. Shadow Valley is full of hardworking, honest people. Really?

It's unfortunate that the city acts like you don't even exist. And that's why we're here. The mix, I would grade it a 10 out of 10. What about you? Yeah, 11 out of 10. Sorry. Sorry.

I'm sorry. It's so good that they have to continuously adjust the volume of the background music. Usually you just EQ out the frequency of the homosexual. I know, well they're just making the rides really obvious. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's very, yeah. You can't wheelchair here.

You shouldn't be hearing the mix. Yeah. You should be focused on what they want you to focus on. You should be focusing on the gay guy that's reading the horribly written lines by a black guy. You know what I saw? I caught part of Batman Begins last night. It just happened to be on.

Is that the one with the Riddler? It's Scarecrow. Chris. Oh, the new one. The new one? Yeah, Christian Bale and Katie Holmes. And I realized what a piss poor actress Katie Holmes is. She's bad.

Like, really, like I was like, oh my god, I'm seeing an actress acting. Like, she's really bad. Yeah, that's a weird choice. He's sitting on his hemorrhoid donut. From getting fucked in the ass. Okay. I gotta truck stop. Let's be honest.

The city allocates little resources for Shadow Valley. That's why they're so late to respond to issues. Yeah, so what he's done there, just on a mix comment, he's set up a ducker, I think. I don't even think he's automating. So the voice triggers a compressor that's on the music channel. So when that when the when the voice hits that signal causes the compressor to duck down the level of the of the Music track and you can you can hear it's kind of a long attack and a long release So when he hits it doesn't duck down really soon enough.

You can hear it pumping underneath as the volume of his voice changes. And then when he lets go, you hear it swell back up. So it's distracting. It's crazy that they didn't even Google how does Hollywood make the music sound the same with the vocals or the lines. They didn't even Google it. Go, well, you the vocals. Yeah. Or the lines. They didn't even Google it.

Yeah. Go, well you do this. Well, yeah. Good people deserve good service. For our great citizens, we provide it all. From firefighting to criminal investigations, you can count on Gooding Services. Gooding Services has a bundle for all budgets.

You can be fully protected with emergency response for just 49.99. So this is like a commercial. In the world, it's supposed to be a commercial really. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a minute 14. Yeah, Christ.

It's expensive air time. Why is this eight minutes long? I hope you enjoyed the latest Ripperverse Studios production for Gooding the Polymath, which is our current collection. I'm going to talk about that here in a little bit, but I want to thank all of you guys for the continued support and all the customers and fans of the Ripperverse. Man, we are entering into a new era of the Ripperverse. Now lots of things have changed. I wanna first get into the actual website.

As you, if you go to Riververse.com, you will now see the- Just scattershotting. Like, I mean, whatever you wanna, like, he's just blasting out all these different, like- It was totally cool that I had Riley arrested for domestic violence laws. He just got so many fucking comics and shit going on, like...

Yeah, for like a couple thousand people. It's really fucking crazy. I don't know how much money you think you can take from 9000 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right before they... Yeah, OK, I'm just gonna keep their money in their pocket. Yeah. That it looks a little different. We wanted to slowly roll things out. A lot of the major kinks have already been worked out over the first couple of hours

since our release But it's a brand new to the website before you really mean it's completely overhauled from the I mean we tore it down Built it back up. We love what we got here And I don't know it looks like an actual like kind of website that I don't know, people would go to if you want to learn more about comics. Complete read- I wouldn't go to it. I already know everything about comics.

What a fucking pho- What a fucking bitch, man. Now where's Riley at? Look at this website. It's the kind of website I would- I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what I don't know. Design, you get more

information about the actual comics as well. They suck. In terms of like the characters. So we didn't have like character detail pages and profiles now. Or in the past. Now we do. Same can be said for the characters. Excuse me, the comic book detail

pages that we have now. These are of course for those that are newbies, right? You come and you're like, hey, what is this reverse thing all about? What do you learn more about the individual comics, of course? I've heard Eric Jilai puts guys in prison who make fun of him online. Is that on the website? Is that true? It's one of the frequently asked questions, I think. I heard you hired some Me Too trans kids piss porn feminists to run your comic company.

Is that true? Can I find that out on the site? Trailers, we keep them all in a little neat place here. So be sure to go to rubberverse.com and go browse. Now we wanted to roll this out first. We have some memberverse features that also are going to be added at a later date, but we wanted to get the bulk of the website down first

because this infrastructure is, it's similar, obviously, but we needed to make sure that was ready to rock before we bit off more than we can chew. Now, let's talk about the latest format in terms of how we release things. People run Super Bowl commercials and then send them to Shopify without, Kylie Jenner uses it.

We release things in what is called a collection now. Campaigns are going to be resolved for bigger things, bigger projects, right? Now, we're not relying on that. He pushes a pre-order so much, you know? Yeah, it's not a campaign though. Yeah, it's gonna, right. 36 days, you'll start getting your gay fireman comic.

Ooh. If you can wait that long. What is that one called? That's Gooding. Oh, really? He's a fireman. That's what it is, he's gay. Right. So don't expect campaigns to be dropping all the time.

That's just not how we want to do things. Mainly because our release schedule is speeding up. It's going to be way too quick. So we're going to need to shorten the pre-order windows for a lot of material. No, he hired people who were like past their prime. Okay. Who have been like kicked out of comics because they're not good enough. Yeah, nobody thinks they're... Okay. Who have been like kicked out of comics. Okay. Because they're not good enough. Yeah, nobody thinks, okay.

And we want to get the books out quicker, obviously, but we don't want to have to save things for campaigns. So what we did, we got a lot of y'all's feedback. Okay. And we tried to take some of the elements for the collections at least. Not everything is even going to be released in a collection format.

Oh. But for the new collections, we try to take your feedback, take the things that people loved from the campaigns and kind of mix them in. So as you see, you can see some of the numbers right here, but also it's not, well it's gonna, every collection is gonna be different. It's gonna have different items, but they're not gonna be, it's not gonna be so fast like it had been in the past. So what can I get?

So we have books. We have obviously our posters. Posters. Or our poster and a shirt, really. Shirt? Oh, shit. And there's a couple of bundles that bundles all that together. Bundles, oh. But that's about it, right?

For this camp, or collection, right? This is kind of how we're going to do things. Posters. Collections are not always going to be tied to books as well. I didn't even have to get the books. This is going to be maybe a merchandise collection. This is kind of our new format for a lot of our material. Lot smaller.

Smaller. Keep some of that cool enthusiasm. You see the numbers, all that good stuff. It's just a little different. Smaller. Because we got to speed things up, guys. So go support Gooding, the Polymath. Become a customer if you have not already lots of books have already sold

We have awesome awesome Just look at these we'll pull it up right here these products you see some of these look at this covers. Oh Go check those out. We of course have a special cover as we always do right here and cover see one But man only one shit does always special to me the new era of the Riververse is finally here smaller and it's more very very exciting so yeah I get that right smaller more merch less numbers less customers yeah more merch a new era Wow things are really going well yeah huh when did he release his first book

less than two years ago? Yeah, ISOM number one. Yeah, that's not, I mean, a new era. I don't know if that qualifies as like an era, you know, to have a new one. You don't like start a new era. You don't think so? How many, how many of ISOM has he put out? Two. That's it. Still two? Dude. Bro, come on. Each one got worse than the last two. Come on. We'll keep you guys posted. Just wanted to touch base with you all.

Of course, thank you for the support. Yeah. Reverse.com, we'll be out there right now. Happy to support. Go browse, even if you're not buying anything. You can't leave me hanging with two eyes on. I gotta have a- New era. Let's get these books out. Let's get books out do things for the fandom, right? Okay

Let's make this a small interactive site. All that stuff is coming. It's gonna be a very very fun time So man, this is fun. The more times you tell me it's fun the more fun I'm having I'm having a blast and I'm having a fucking hoot Unbelievable Wow and right when does Riley go to prison? Is that on the site? Do I get to find that out? Is that the company burning? Is that the sound?

That just seemed like, yeah. There wasn't any graphic to really go with that. I mean, it was just static. Was that supposed to be flame at the end? On a level of, everything's on fire. Like it's all fire. How successful did you get that sound? If that was like an Apple keynote,

what would you give that? Yeah, I mean, that's, it was not good. Okay. This is Hard Man Working Hard. I'm gay. Good bye. ["I'm Gay"] I'm gay. I suck penis every day. Oh my god. Oh no.

My god. Yeah, I'm gay. I need cum to start my day. One teaspoon of penis juice to keep it straight away. I'm fuckin' gay. All that's made for me. I'll call it science and live a life of quiet day to day. Oh shit, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Also gay, yeah my last name is the same, I'm fucking gay At least that's what they say when they see me dancing gayly in the big gay fat parade Yeah, I'm gay I eat poo-poo last to flay And wash it down to a kiss, drink delicious lemonade And wash it down to a kiss, drink delicious lemonade

I'm fucking gay And gay sex is my trade Bottom to top I'll call the lot and make it great Don't tell my wife She's not about this life She doesn't know I'm with her Cause she looks like a guy Don't tell my kids

They never would forgive They don't know that I'm the one who killin' penis kids Don't tell the cops They'd confiscate my cock And lock me up in jail With all the early cons Tell the cops, I'm gayer than they thought I've got a taste of man flesh and that will never stop

Cause I'm gay That's right I'm gay Guess what I'm gay Yeah I'm gay Yeah I'm gay Cause I'm gay That's right I'm gay Guess what I'm gay I'm fucking gay, I'm fucking gay

They call me Gay Jack the Ripper Cause I hate women and I'm gay I'm like Gay Jeffrey Tomer If he was normal and not straight There you have it. Very talented group of guys. They're not talking about their website. No. The new era. Right. A failure that they're ushering in. No, they just keep going.

Alright, see you. Thank you. Bye.