The Dick Show - Episode 419

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

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Wow, you're a three-click Three clicker. Well, I'm pretty cracked up man. I'm a cracker motherfucker. What do you want me to say? All right start streaming I mean you look black. I know How how I can jive how can we do the shaft music? how I Was like how on earth is vetoes ghastly complexion? like Not as white as me You get under the camera you just start glowing like you're not you don't look that white

But then I look at the camera like what the fuck is going on here. No man amplifying it I Cut all my hair and beard off. We got too hot. I was just like I can't do it You better knock that white shit off. They're gonna kill you somebody's gonna take you out. That's how it works now. Yeah That's how it works, man. We all look the same to them other crazy white people. Yeah, they're coming They're gunning for us. Yeah. Yeah, no shit and by them I mean veto I Knew we were gonna talk about this He can't help himself. Kenny, bro. The

election is over. Just give up. It's over. You know, when Romney ran, we just gave up, right? I was like, all right, whatever. I'm gonna see in four years or maybe eight. I don't care. Yeah. There's we were just like magic underpants here. Ain't getting two votes. Yeah. It's over. Stop. Stop. You don't have to worry about it anymore. You done. You're married. Trump's your guy. Yeah. Quit. That's the end. You don't need to, you don't need to run your fucking mouth and embarrass yourself anymore. Now if you thought Trump was insufferable before, I mean, you just turned them into Teflon Don, right? Like he's going to go full John. They

tried to kill me. You know what I mean? Like, ah, do you think it's, you know, living with it? You think his wife, Trump's wife sitting there going like, Oh man, you couldn't just miss him completely. You had to Evander Holyfield is like, yeah. Miss completely would be still insufferable, but you had to Nick him. Yeah. Like, you know what you just did? I got to fuck this guy.

Yeah. You know, I got to deal with, I got to see the smug look on his face. I can't ever disagree with him. Right? If I'm running for office, LA, whatever dog catcher, I get shot. I'm coming home. I'm taking it out on my wife. Of course.

Yeah. What else is there to do? That's the point of having them. Yeah. That's the one benefit. Yeah. My girlfriend knows better. She'll be over the rest of the shooter shoulder, like an inch to the left. There's no wind. He goes left a lot when he talks. You gotta, I'm going to, I'm going to help you compensate for this. Let me make sure we're streaming on rumble, then I'll go ahead and start this. There we go. Josh Dennean Studio.

Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. It was pretty great. I thought we were done, for some reason I thought we were done with presidential assassinations. You read about them in the history books, right? Whenever you read about them, I'm like, what's like Lord of the Rings stuff? Like, they don't happen. Am I much older than you? I'm 41. I'm 43.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought for some reason, well, you look better than I do. Thank you. I'm the alcohol preservative. Is it? Yeah. You didn't know that. Yeah.

Mine's all a piece of milk. So it's, I don't think't know that yeah, mine's all pizza milk. So I don't think it I don't think it preserves doesn't congeals. Yeah congealing. Yeah to fix the camera lights I Was gonna stop halfway through and refix them as you as they continue decomposing as the milk takes over No, man. I was explaining this to my girlfriend who's younger by quite a bit, but I was explaining. It was like, uh, she's like, yeah, there were never any, but this is the first of my lifetime. And I go, dude, I was in school when Reagan was shot. I was like 89 or 90 or whatever. Did they hit him? Did he get hit? I think he did. I don't remember. I don't really remember that one. I don't know why it was like first or second grade

I remember it was like on the monitors in the hallways. It's been in like fourth grade then yes I remember when the Challenger exploded I was so pissed off as I started finding out that a lot of kids were watching it live Yeah, and I'm like you're fucking kidding me. We got the hushed The challenge you fucking blew up. Yeah, I got that sucks, and I'm like you're fucking kidding me. We got the hushed Challenger fucking blew up. Yeah, I call that sucks and I get home next day You're on the bus It's the only time you get like new cross-school news right on the bus in the morning It's like somebody's brother knows a cousin or something like they were watching it live and like bullshit

That's my uncle works at Nintendo level shit. No. Yeah honest to God you start hearing it like We got robbed out of that I know. Yeah. Honest to God. You started hearing it like, we got robbed out of that. Fuck you. This is how you know, I lived in a two black neighborhood growing up is because all the other kids I are all the other people I talked to like, I remember we watched the OJ trial in school and I go, they didn't let us go to school that day. My school, they were like, keep the kids home. It was going to be a race war in elementary school, I guess. Did you see the article today? Is Trump going to try to use almost getting shot to appeal to black voters?

Some DEI genius. His career is being DEI. That's what he's like. He's got an award in it. He's got a doctorate in it or something. And that was his brain buster for Forbes, which they quickly deleted I'm gonna eat would that work? You're there. There's a black perspective on this show. They tried to what's it called? They tried to bust a cap Couldn't do it couldn't do it me and what they call it two quarters 50 cent

couldn't do it, me and what they call in two quarters 50 cent. Push, push. Yeah. Of course, if you leave Biden in, it's going to be a dollar seventy five. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't. It's too easy. The bad jokes. That's the worst part about the assassination is the bad. Is how hard it is to not make easy jokes.

Yeah. I think, you know, yeah, I've been trying to focus on the women part because nobody wants to go there. Oh, the woman's secret service? The women's secret- talk about that. I had nightmares last night. My girlfriend said you were having nightmares that your life was in the hands of women. That's Trump's nightmare, right? Male assassin, women diving in front of him. He's like, give me to the car and then she turns around in the front seat. Don't worry, Mr. President. I'll drive. I know a secret route to the hospital to get your ear fixed up.

And he goes, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O Right, and then he wakes up his dicks turn into a vagina. Oh god What the fuck man? Why you got women up there diving in front of the president? What the whose fucking idea is this? Terrible this is Trump's to let like Trump has so much to worry about and then they she a woman shows up in a little blazer And a vest and a hidden Glock and it's like I don't have time in my day to fix this. Are you fucking kidding me? And a hidden Glock and it's like I don't have time in my day to fix this. Are you fucking kidding me? Your line on Twitter yesterday where you said the only time in my life I want a Mean we're in America, right? You got we got the fattest women in the in the galaxy Yeah, and you send this little five to tinkerbell up to deflect a bullet from me, which she's not doing, by the way. She's cowering behind going, I don't know what to do here. Obviously I'm not going

to dive on the guy they're trying to shoot. Well, yes, obviously yes, that's correct, but that's the job. That's the job. That's what you're getting paid for. Otherwise you're not, there's no reason to pay you to stand around with a walkie talkie and fumble with your sunglasses on and off, right? It's not dress up. The gun. This is the woman that you know you couldn't find any fatter woman. How about the woman from Naked Gun that falls off the roof and kills Reggie Jackson?

Where is she? Bring her out. Get a fucking woman on a rascal scooter. It'll take her a minute to wheel her ass in front of me, but it'll be like I'm standing behind a fucking barn, right? Not this ballerina that you sent out. Did you see that shit? And also he's a six foot three, 260 pounds. You'd need 10 women around him. Not one or two. Yeah. Then you got the guy behind him,

right? Lantern job behind. I'm like, that's what all of you should look like yeah Now is there any women in here? She is that one of those black jobs that she's doing is that what it is? Saying you know what I'd be perfectly fine if Trump's Secret Service was all black women. Yeah You know, there he is, there he is, there he is, I got you, no, no, they'd be on the aggressive, right? Marching at you. What you not fit to do is shoot at the president, okay? Just imagine, she's coming out of the tunnel, right? She's going for her gun, but her bad nails are just fumbling the gun everywhere. Oh no, oh hell no, hell no.

And the shooter's gonna be white, right? Of course. He can't shoot. Of course. Some lefty Antifa guy. He can't shoot a black all that would be He doesn't want to be a racist and a martyr Right? Matt what do you think the last thing that guy thought was when Trump ducked blast? Waa? Fuck Yeah, yeah, well he is God's chosen one. Yeah, I don't know

Liberals to stop to stop the next Hitler liberal liberals sent a man forward in time to to assassinate him That's isn't that amazing. Yeah. Yeah, they've liberals have spent the last six. They sent a man forward in time six years They got him. They trained him when he was a baby. They sent him to public school where a bunch of women rotted his brain for eight hours a day. Then he went home to probably another woman, I'm assuming. Lesbian parents, you think? Lesbian parents. Sister sisters. Sister sisters. And they fucking ruined his brain a little more and then shit him into community college, right? Where everyone there is also women.

Just abusing him. Yeah. Abusing him. They sent a man forward in time, I'm saying. Yeah. To kill Hitler, the next Hitler. No, I- You got it?

I track it, yeah. Let me play the theme song and we're going to talk about this some more. I had a whole bunch, a whole bunch of stuff. I got a great story for you. You're going to love this one. Oh, great. I love stories. You're gonna love this. Oh great I love stories You want to keep love dick you need dick. You've got it. So show runs a contest coming

live from Mountain Bunker deep in the heart of city failure. I'm your house stick mash snake K the 20 million dollar man. Joining me is Josh Denny. Hey Josh Denny with a brand new special out. Where can we see it? You can see it on X. You can see it on YouTube for now. Yeah. You'd say now. Yeah. We'll see how long it stays up. We can see it on a, on a rumble, I guess. And, and then it's on a Kevin McKenna says censored.tv as well. That's wonderful. Go watch it, go like it, leave a nice comment. So even if you don't want to a lot of conspiracy around it, we have a democracy to save. You have to go support Josh Denny's standup. That's funny. Yeah. I have to grift off of this,

right? The only way that the libs don't win is if you watch my client, even though there's no way for me to turn your views into money, let me make sure that I grift. The coping's been just insane. It's been not. Well, what I love too is America's Americans have a complete inability not to make it specifically about them. Do you remember when nine 11 happened to people like I remember I lived in Minnesota. Remember I was almost on all four of those flights. All four of them. Yeah. You were ran as easy quadded. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was almost in the buildings too. Oh, at the same time.

Yeah. You were flying, you had flights. Yeah, flights booked. To the buildings. But no flights booked and then they all canceled and you know, through circumstances, I backed out of them and problems and issues. And then a tour, a tour I had booked

and I was almost in the buildings too and in the field in Pennsylvania The one where the other one where 93 went. Yes, and I avoided barely And get this I had almost Vacationed in an Airbnb that turned out to be Osama bin Laden's compound in Pakistan when he was executed They had Airbnbs packed in? Well that, that turned out to be the mistake. It was an air hubby being, do I remember nine 11? Yeah. I remember that it was very important to me and then I was in it, but on the other side, you know, I don't know if my face could

tell you, but I'm a man of many disguises. Oh, yeah. So no, when it happened, I was in Minnesota and it was like the right after I graduated high school 2001. So I was obviously sleeping in. I worked a night job. Yeah. And I remember waking up and it was because they were under attack. They flew planes into the world trade center in New York and obviously the mall of America will be next be on guard. And I was like, Jesus Christ, you really think it goes, you fucking idiots think it goes trade towers, Pentagon, mall of America. Clearly they did that in LA too. I'm like, how do you think they're going to get through like long beach?

Well, yeah. You think they're, do you think they're getting dropped off at San Pedro? Yeah. They're going to get killed. They just thought there were a bunch of dudes in speed boats We're gonna roll up to the harbor and we've got like a mode of intolerance around the whole city We went to we went to the dog beach, which is in Long Beach last week. Uh-huh. Nice, you know Long Beach Yeah, yeah, very easily LBC, right? I used to live right on the border of where black people lived

I was pressed right up against them right was like and you knew our first line of you're the Vanguard. Yeah, I really was. Cause I, and you knew because it was like, uh, uh, no fences, no dogs, no fences, no dogs. Oh my God. Fences in every yard is a pit bull. It was like, um, we, we went there and there's this, um, there's this snow cone place that's like really good and it is, and I suspect it snow cone place that's really good. And I suspect it's right on that border. Yeah. Because it drops off, this pit bull population spikes right there.

You'll notice it. It's pretty jarring where you just go like, wow, a lot of dogs. And the street trash is different. There's a lot of edible trash in the street suddenly, which is weird. Half-eaten things. That went up after I left. So we get out of my car to go to the snow cone place and I shit you not. The very first thing I hear is a smoke alarm. Like you gotta be like am I on a hidden camera show? Was it in the business or was it in a nearby? It was in

a house. We parked next to an apartment to walk to the snow cone place. I opened, I shut up the car, you know, quiet, open the door, man. You know, it's come on man. I never realized that was a thing until like a year and a half ago. And I was like, Oh my God, like this is how I've been around too many black people is that it's like, it's like white noise to me now. Yeah. I'm just like, yeah, God, like this is how I've been around too many black people is that it's like, it's like white noise to me now. Yeah. I'm just like, yeah, yeah. Everybody's the shit goes off. And then I was like, Nope. It's just actually now that I think about it, it's all my black friends. It had just, and it had just occurred in my house where my smoke detectors started going off in the

middle of the night. Like one, one, one goes off. All them go up. Cause I replace them all at the same time out of like aggravation. Yeah. Two in the morning I'm up still drunk pissed off getting a chair hoping that I don't fall and break my neck ripping smoke detectors off the wall because the sound is just so bad you can't sleep through it you can't think you the pit of you yeah dreading it in the pit in the pit of your stomach for it to beep again just to find it and you're always like is that the carbon monoxide one or is that? Yeah, the one that doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah, like how do you guys I have like five in my place and they change though It's it's a terrible indicator of time because you're like your landlord will be like, hey man Well, you don't have a landlord but your landlords Gavin Newsom

But our landlord will be like I got to come in and check to inspect the things and I go you guys just change these Right you look up. It's like oh, yeah seven years ago. Holy shit Where can I get those? What do you mean the seven-year ones? Oh, yeah, I swear I don't know if the Amazon batteries and I'm buying like oh The cheap slavery Chinese batteries that you're buying or I'm an energizer man now No, I'm not but it just seems like they're always going up. Those lithiums and then and then a half-eaten Sea lion we go to the dog beach and a half-eaten sea lion washed up on the beach. Jesus Christ

Which was obscenely morbid for what would have been a nice like dog. Will somebody do something about this Lizzo? I mean, she's just out there chomping sea lions at the beach It was like it was still alive too. Oh god It was like swimming up so all these families gathered round like a shark bit it you think and it just washed to shore either a Shark or a propeller cut it in half, but I mean how do you get how the fuck do you get cut in half? By a propeller if you can go underwater. Yeah, pretty bad at it. Yeah swimming. Yeah So all the families the little Mexican families come out with their shirts on and all the other families Mexican families Carlin I checked whether the Mexican people have an inability to experience violent trauma at all. They're just oh

I did see lion, he know, he bad. And it's just like, as children, you would be traumatized. You're like, oh my God, they would keep the children away. Like, he die. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't shield them at all. Yes, they just, look, he die. They had their work shirts, their long sleeve work shirt.

The adults had the long sleevesleeve work shirts on it You know, it's 95 degrees outside. Yeah, of course in the pool in the ocean and They're dry. What are the little the little discs that the Mexican you're a food guy What are the little orange discs that the Mexicans they're like Mexican pretzels, but they're not pretzels. I have no idea I don't want to risk buying a bag. They look like an they look like a cross-section of an orange That's something I'll never say in my life. I don't want to risk these not being good. I'm always like- I've seen them my whole life, but I don't know what the fuck they are.

I have no idea either. I generally tend to stay away from Mexican street shoes. Do you know what I'm talking about though? You know what I'm talking about? Let me see. Mexican orange wheels. What the fuck are these things? I don't know. Oh, they're chicharrones? Oh, I know what those are. I've never seen them in perials like that before. Yeah, they're wheels. I've never seen that, but I know what chicharrones are.

Okay. Are they good? Should I buy them next time I'm at the beach? They're like pork skins, right? Oh fuck, I would have bought and ate the fuck out of that. I usually get them in the twist in the bag and stuff. That I know. I know that's the same thing as that. Okay, now I know.

When I had my food show, I went to David, one of the restaurants we did was David Cross's barbecue restaurant in Atlanta. And they make a pork rind nachos. So instead of tortilla chips, they use pork rinds. I remember being like, and the guy's like, these are keto. And I go, oh, great. I'm like, this is a hack. And then I like made them at home one time and I go I think I'm having a heart attack

Support system like now what we do is we dehydrate the meat and then we use that as a chip. Oh wow It's healthier. Okay, bring me two plates. That's why I like it. Yeah. That's why I like nachos so much, because they're healthier. Yeah. Yeah. If you could just shave a little bit of that off. If you could just dry some of the pork and replace my chips with it, that would be fantastic. So the sea lion bobs up, you know, its nose, and it's like a, you know, a sea dog, right? It looks like it.

So all the Mexican, all the people are gathered around. Yay! And you know who's at a dog beach is like people like us, like NIMBY, whatever. I don't know. Whites. Yuppie, know why yuppie white right women a lot of women Gathering around and I could tell right away. I'm like this ain't it something is wrong with that guy. Yeah, he's like Like this is not You shouldn't be coming to humans like this. This is not something you see usually they kind of dart around Yeah, they don't want to hang with the kids. You know, they're not swimming up to shore

like licking your kids on the face, pulling their swimsuits off from behind on a bottle of suntan lotion, you know. And the wave crested in a way where his like the back of his body came out of the water and it was all like rolled up next to him it was totally severed oh the front half of the sea line was totally severed from the the back was just like a you know stop decision cut in half yeah like a act like a crash test dummy and the gasp that I heard among this crowd of women and man They start praying And they're just staring at it, it's like their personal 9-11 Like every woman is just locked on

Like I've never seen women pay attention Uh, this much They're just staring at it like Someone has to do something Someone has to do something, like it's just dead This is called life This is what it is, this is what animals do When we're not watching them,

you know, fuck or putting leashes on them. So the lifeguard rolls in and this chick, some chick with huge tits gets out. Nice. Oh, awesome. Nice, yeah. Of course, terrible posture, right? Cause no one, no one teaches these women how to, I don't know why they're all hunched over. I know how to hold mine up.

What is their excuse, you know? And she puts on gloves as it washes ashore. That'll help. That'll help. Latex gloves. Like, what are you doing? What, in a secret service, madam? Tugging at the...

She's like going over and then thank God two men get out, right? And they're like looking at it. But I'm like, why is this... Why is this, you know, cotillionaire putting gloves on? So then they resolve the issue, this gigantic, this is pretty cool, this gigantic bulldozer comes over with like prongs instead of a scoop for a scoop and scoops it out of the sand so all the sand goes through, right? And takes it off after they, after they coordinate it off.

This is how they get V veto and I out of it They pull they roll that out And my girlfriend goes back she goes oh what happened to the sea lion you didn't see the fucking 20-ton bulldozer that was going like Prying it's like it's like 40 feet over there. Did you ever guys were you didn't see any of that? It's no Did you ever see the there was a video and I think it was in a, it was in like Washington, like Pacific Northwest where a beached whale had come on and they tried to take one of those and roll it back in and the prongs went straight through the hump.

And it exploded all over the beach. Did you, do you remember that clip? That was probably a woman driving that like, I'll just push it back in. Alright, let me load up this Trump stuff. Is a dictatorship, correct me if I'm wrong, but a dictatorship is when you get killed for being on the other side of the politics, right? Yes.

If your politics is anti the dictator, then you and you'll murder you, right? And if you support the guy that's running against the dictator, you get killed, right? Yeah, yeah. So we're trying to stop that by- Doing it. By doing it.

Is that the plan? Yeah, well- Is that the fucking plan? Most dictators take power by going like we have to stop this potential dictator by killing his supporters Randomly at his rally. He's the enemy of democracy. Don't you know that? I mean if we don't kill the guy The whole country will go to shit. I tried to warn all of you. I tried to warn all of you I tried to tell you what was gonna happen if you let this is it an effort to diversify the Secret Service The leader of Cheetal this lady aims to have 30% female recruits by 2030 20 30 percent of the Secret Service should be women and

Guys are online only if the presidents are women. I think that should be women and guys are online. Only if the presidents are women. I think that should be the deal. That's great. 100% female secret service. Yeah. You get to pay president. Then you get to be at all the jobs. Women driving Uber is bad enough. Have you ever gotten stuck with a woman who Uber driver? I cancel when a woman gets my Uber. Yeah, I'll pay the five bucks. Yeah. It's how I started driving Ubers myself. A woman tried to get me and I go No, I'm pretty sure I got I'll just get in hold on. Let me make an account You request me okay now yeah, let's go I can't let this go out into the public I gotta do my part

You know, I'm trying to find the picture of Secret service fumbling with their guns Fat this is I mean not to be too conspiratorial, but like I watched, did you watch the video of the snipers responding to the sniper? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it interesting how they sort of take the gun that's on that, that pivot stand and they turn it and they point and then almost like, all right, you go and then we'll go. Like it was pretty obvious to me that they waited for him to shoot. They were, they turned the gun out of their, he's not gonna, he's not

going to shoot. Somebody will do something. Yeah. I don't want to catch shit from my book. I don't get nagged to death. Yeah. It'd be a trans is I better not. I don't want to have to go to some kind of seminar, right? I got to make sure that guy's not black before I take them out or a woman or a woman. That guy's not black before I take him out. Or a woman. Or a woman. I gotta make sure that guy's not a woman before I shoot him. Before I shoot him. Yeah. I'm sorry. They're like, Phil! He's like, sorry, shoot them.

Shoot them. This is, the entire free world is in this lady's big fat hands. Jesus Christ. Big fat fingers. Is this peak performance? Is this the, is this the best we have? If it is, we're fucked. I would- if this woman offered to help me back into a parking space I would- I would- I'll get it. Yeah, I would ignore what she's saying. Yeah, and I would- I would You know placate her. I would let her do it, but I wouldn't pay attention to what she was saying

Also, this looks like honey boo boo's older sister What was her name? Sunshine? pay attention to what she was saying. Also, this looks like honey boo boo's older sister. What was her name? Sunshine or what? I'm shy. Yeah. The one who died. I think she died of cancer or something. Oh, this is the entire free world and our descent into a Muslim theocracy. Here's, here's how you know women have no business protecting anybody or holding guns in a defensive role. Well, but also you know how bulletproof vests have those perfect tits cutouts for the tits. Oh, they don't write. They're just flat because they're supposed to be on a man's body. Okay. Well, you know, well they're talking about like physical fitness requirements. And I'm like, do you guys understand in a

wig? Do you guys understand how much fighting we do as boys and teenagers? Just as children. Just sitting there looking at my friend saying, I wonder how I could hit him in the dick right now. Let's see, what do I have in front of me? Like Sherlock Holmes, I've got a racket ball, I've got a rubber band, I've got three paper clips. I could use the racket ball, but then he could throw the racket ball back at me. I'll take the rubber band and the paper clips he could throw the racquetball back at me. I'll take the rubber band and the paper clips and do a slingshot at his nuts. Right?

This is how we think all day. Yeah. How do I murder someone if I had to and protect myself? Women are never, ever, ever thinking this because it's totally psychotic. Well, this is not all men, but a lot of us. Well, this is Carl's joke. He has women. Oh, we're so good at solving

true crime. Oh yeah. Then why are you a hundred percent of the victims? You guys can solve them all after you're dead. Nobody's got any foresight to be like, maybe don't go over his house at three in the morning and not know the guy. It's just, that's brutal. Female, this is the transcript, is it, that we have here. Shots are fired, eight, 1811. 33 seconds, 34 seconds. Trump touches the right side of his face. God, did you see that? The bullet in him going, touching his face

and then pulling out with blood. Like, ah! Yeah. I was thinking that scene scene from it was like one of the war movies where the way his fucking intestines are out he's like I put it back yeah that's what I thought was coming the fuck yeah oh that's how I felt when that Antifa guy threw me into the concrete Oh Netflix yeah what the fuck what is what the hell is going on Yeah, you got roughed up by one of them ladyboys if I had a woman Protecting me. I'd probably be dead. That's true. You know, that's true. You did have a woman with you that day

Miss just miss just wall. These he's costing us subscribers veto is online. Oh, yeah Yeah, being as smug as possible like bro You're do you not understand that it's Democrats are doing all the fucking crime in every Democratic City Yeah, Democrats are doing crimes and Democrats are making it possible for them to do more fucking crimes in the globe in the national stage You guys are trying to kill our fucking guys do whatever what about this doesn't make sense to you none of us like it None of us like it Stop being so fucking smug about this! When I posted a thing of like, I posted a thing last night, it's- and it's make- it's-

It's both sides! By the way, I think it should all be legal. All this Civil War shit, we gotta kill our political opponents, I think it should all be legal. But this is what it does! Yeah. It's legal to joke about it, fine! Yeah. I'm just asking you to stop doing it! Yeah. That's it, I'm just saying this is what it leads to.

Okay? You guys don't, and don't blame the other side for this. You're doing it. Both of you are doing it. Tim Pool, every day, civil war, civil war. What do you think you're doing, buddy? What do you think people hear when you say that? Hey, is this the start of the civil war?

Are we in the civil war right now? Yeah, is this the start of the civil war? It's like the video game shit all over again. Yeah, maybe they do cause violence still should be legal I still want to play fucking video games, but yeah, probably it's causing some violence. Yeah I want porn to be legal. Should you watch it all day probably not is it making men hate women? Maybe I mean if they're if they ever met a woman that was as skinny as the one in porn They might have a negative opinion of her. Yeah, I thank God. They're all so fucking fat They might as well be a different species, but I recognize the argument is sound

Yeah, or if you just listen to one talk one time ever you also might grow to despise these guys These young men are hating women because of because they're jacking off to porn Yeah, really have you have you met a woman? Have you met a woman? Ask her to explain something. Yeah. The, the, the benefit of the women in porn is that at no point do they stop sucking Dick and turn the camera go, you know what? I think about something. They don't ever do that. It would be the end of the industry. You think, why are there no pornographic? That's why there are no pornographic PSA is where they're just like, have you guys ever thought about retirement? You know what I mean?

Yeah, man, that's what's changing men's opinion on women. Jacking off to women getting fucked versus being nagged to take the trash out five minutes before when you were going to do it. And then having a fucking eye roll and a smug attitude, like being gaslit into thinking that you just would never take out the trash. You would have never, you're so fucking worthless and dumb that you would have that, that fucking split second is more, is more radicalizing than 10 lifetimes of pornography. Yeah. Yeah. There was a, I was, I'm rewatching the Sopranos. I do this like

every two, three years and there were, every time he belts a woman across the face, which is like one or two times an episode. Yeah. I was like, Oh yeah. I do remember all the think pieces about how bad the domestic violence in this show was. Oh wait, there wasn't a single one. There wasn't a single one because every viewer watch that was like this fucking nagging bitch should have shut up their mouth. That's what happens. Trump takes cover as agents rushed the podium. Thirty five seconds. Male agent one. This is the transcript. Get down. Get down. Get down. More shots heard as Trump surrounded by agents. Forty one seconds. So six seconds later a female agent. What are we doing? What are we doing?

Where are we going? Where are we going? You know, that's like I'm there. Hey, hey, hey Christine, have you thought about what you wanna get for dinner after the rally? Oh, oh. Why isn't someone protecting me?

That's gonna be the headline. Why didn't Trump, why aren't any Secret Service agents diving on the woman in the back? Man, indistinct yelling, gunshot, then woman screams. Male agent two, go around the spare, go around to the spare. Okay, so he seemed to know. You know, it's like I read this and I'm taking back to every baseball practice I ever had growing up for 20 years of my life or whatever, where I'm being screamed at by a 40 to 50 year old man about Situational awareness. Yes, you know like you have you gotta be aware You gotta be aware at all times. You gotta be aware at all times

You gotta be aware at all times and I can't imagine even one of those shouting sessions being done to any woman I've ever met ever known in my life. No, they would have hung themselves in their little gym closet men are shouting this at me If we're all if we're all doing it correctly, we could totally win, no fuck-ups at all, you still get that speech and it's rewarding to us because we've been conditioned and trained in Stockholm Syndrome into craving the abuse for some, craving the abuse as though it's a reward. Did your dad ever give you the talk when you went to a restaurant and you go and you sit with your back to the door and he goes, no, no, no son, you don't ever say grew up in

a white neighborhood. Okay. Well my dad, you don't ever sit with your back to the door to the entrance. Yeah. And I was like, why? And he says, well, if somebody comes in here to rob the place and shoot everybody, you want to see it before it happens. And I go, Oh, okay. My stepsister's like, does that go for me too? He goes, no, you dumb bitch, sit wherever the fuck you like. What are you gonna do? Secret service, gotta diversify the agency.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Here's a race hustler. I'm a tenured professor at the Marshall School of Business. Is Marshall an old black college? I think so. I don't know. Price School of Public Policy. I think when they college? I think so. I don't know. Price School of Public Policy. I think when they're in a certain state,

they end up being that way, whether they try to be or not, you know? Actually, I think all colleges now are all black colleges because they're the only people that are going to college anymore. Oh, is that? Well, white people have woken up to how fucking stupid and waste the money it is.

Here is, I want to know why, okay, here's Trump right after he got shot. Right? Oh, he's got the money! Why is this woman ducking? So- Well, she doesn't wanna get shot, even though that's the job.

Yeah! She's like hiding under him. Look, she's like hiding under him. She's already 5'4", and she's like hiding under Trump's fuckin' arm! Yeah. What is this? Why is she like this?

She's holding on. This is driving me nuts. What I think is funny is she's holding on to him like he's Kevin Costner in the bodyguard. Like he's getting her out of there. Mr. President, save me. Oh God. Good job, bitch. I tried to warn you.

Dr. Phil tried to shut me down. Now he regrets it. Yeah. Now he admits I'm right. Dude you guys you guys silenced Dick Masterson and you started the Civil War. Started the Civil War. This is how it happened. I'm trying to find the one where she's like really really ducked down. Is it in the in the the, the probably Pulitzer prize winning photo underneath of him? No, there's an even better one where, where it happened to my bookmarks. Yeah. Vito Vito who just jumping on the left wing takes the hot takes of this is just like, Hey man, how many times do we got to tell you that I just want to

fuck with him today and call him a block number? Go veto. Just Waldy. Yes. This is Hollywood. We've been paying attention to your tweets and we would like to formally invite you to join the club. Yeah. As it were, he really thinks that calls come if I just keep touting the right opinions when the civil war is over. He's pissing people off. They're they're messaging me. I got to drop support for biggest problem Patreon because I can't like veto is just like being such an asshole. Oh I know. And it's so funny too because like I tweet a thing where I'm like I'm done being friends with liberals. I can't I can't pretend whatever. Then I go to vetoes page I go oh this is kind of exactly what I'm talking about. This is kind of what I just said. I have to, I have to now separate myself from these people. So I don't feel urged to bash

them in the fucking face over dinner. And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, I'm like, man, I shot like a fag, right? It's like, okay. Yeah, but he kind of deserved it, right? Yeah, you know, remember good people on both sides? That's what happens. Are you? Jesus. Um, it's tough because liberals want to kill me. I know. Yeah, they've tried.

I know. They want, they want to kill me. Specifically. Yes. All of us. A lot of people say that to Trump was a false flag to distract away from them coming from you. So that was, that was a rage about it is the violent. There's no place for violence in politics. Like I understand why you have to say that. Hold on. Well, I have this little

thing here called all of human history. And I mean, you, you know, that politics is like the mechanism we use to see how the state is going to exert violence Yeah, right. Like if you guys win Israel's wiped out if you guys win Palestine's wiped out nice. That's What in what universe would violence not be a part of this process of mitigated violence? That's that's what before we had politics It was just killing people and then and then avert threats Yeah, we've abstracted that into some sort of consensus determining determining mechanism vis-a-vis voting Yeah, right. It's just it's a it is entirely violent every part

If I have the wrong size pipe in my shower, the LAPD will come and kick my door in and shoot me. Yeah, right Which happens all the time. It's no place for violence in politics. What? What? That's it's how it all began. What do you? Yeah. You guys are running covers of Hitler on the front page of your paper. Trump's face. Yeah. Yeah. There's no, what was the point of that? Yeah. Dave Smith called that out beautifully where he was just like, you can't call this guy Hitler and say he's going to be the death to American democracy. And then be like, what do you mean? Somebody tried

to kill him. It's like a Ouija board. Everybody, everybody. I mean, everybody, everyone wants the violence. Every half of people. I'd say half of people. Yeah. Myself included. Yeah. I'm not, I can't, I can't say it cause I don't want to get banned from everything But I I understand where guys like veto and destiny are coming from where they're also like skirting the line of like well I really want I really wanted him to get killed. Yes We're not all rooting for it that were Like none of us are rooting for that to happen to Biden at all. Well, yeah, cuz he's so bad. Yeah But only because he's so bad. Yeah. But only because he's so bad. Yeah, no, it's not like we're all sitting around going,

just fall over the podium. Just get him, God. Get him. The Ouija board of, oh man, well, I don't know, the thing's moving on its own. I'm not pushing it. I'm not pushing it. Are you pushing it? Are you pushing it? It's going to assassinate Trump.

This is crazy, man. There must be, uh-oh. It's starting to move the other way. Yeah. I can't really control it. Yeah. What was I talking about before the violence thing? Women. Women.

A lot of women. The uh- Busted seals. It was traumatic. Yeah. Ruined the whole day. Did it? Kinda.

I feel like I'd throw things like that aside pretty easily well yeah you but all I I saw like a pallet over I saw so much random violent shit as a kid that I think I'm pretty desensitized to it would you see just guys getting beaten almost to death and you know like in the street overshoes yeah no but and you know, like in the street over shoes. Yeah. No, but like, you know, I remember when, uh, like I, it's sometimes when I talk, this is how backwards Philadelphia is. And sometimes when I talk about it, people are like, how old are you? You know, did this all happen in the sixties? And I go, no, the nineties, but like, uh, we had a pretty suburban

school where we went and it was like mostly Italian and Irish kids, some Jewish kids. And then there, there's like a, a super dilapidated black neighborhood on the border of where I grew up and went to school Ridley park. The next, like the first black neighborhood over was a city called wood Lynn. And they got rid of their schools. And when I went to middle school, they started busing their kids into our school district. And it was like the time when, um, like the forest comp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And kind of like that, but, but times 10, uh, what'd you mean? Then? Well, why would raccoons want

to go to school with us or whatever the fuck he says? Anyway, uh, she, uh, or they would, the, it was like a huge thing and parents were like protesting it or whatever. whatever. And then I went to middle school the first year that we were like integrated, like the black neighborhood was part of our school. And I saw a kid get stabbed in the lunch room on the first fucking day. It was like going from like, I was like, Oh, you're not going to go to maximum security prison. You're going to like a white collar prison, right? And then you go to maximum security and there's just literally like 13 year old black kids who are six foot five stabbing each other at lunch. And you're like, Oh shit. Just got real really quick. Why did he get stabbed? You don't know. I don't know. He was probably talking shit. Yeah. It was,

you know, it was wild. So, I mean, it was prison indistinguishable almost. It was fucking insane. And I was like, Hey, I'll never, it's maybe one of the first funny racist things I ever thought. It was like, I remember turning to one of my wife friends and I go, Oh, thank God they're killing each other. We thought we were in danger there. They're weird. They're no danger to us. They're too busy killing each other. It's like an allegory. Oh, I get it. Thank God. Oh, thank God. They're killing each other. Yeah. Which is, I would have never done what that guy did. I would have said, excuse me. I didn't mean to step on your shoes. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't, I remember having that thought play to stay.

It's like, oh, they're fighting each other. This is, we're fine. When we went to that Snowcone place in Long Beach, we get out, you know, pop, chair up, right? And we walk over to Snowcone place, and these three black kids came over, and they're like, oh, they're like, oh, one of them's like, oh, is your dog friendly? Cause we had Maddie, the, you know, the, like,, oh is your dog friendly? Cause we had Maddie that, you know, like,

oh is your dog friendly? I'm like, that's very polite. But I see how you would need to ask that. Assume, maybe not. Maybe not, right? I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, pet her. And they go to pet her and she's like, whoa, she's never seen that kind of people before. She's like, whoa. And I'm like, oh no, is she gonna, oh no, did I just like trick these kids into getting bit? Like these poor black kids?

I'm like, I don't know, she's clearly freaked out and that's when I realized like, oh shit, she's never seen a black person before. Like, you know, you see her eyes. Oh And then my girlfriend God bless her she goes. Oh, she's just she's scared of your scooter. Oh It's like that was the most amazing you know white guilt recovery. I've ever is she from California She's spent her whole life out here. She she started teaching in like Ghetto schools teachers in California,. They put them in the worst schools to start. So she's used to like immediately responding to racism and explaining explaining it away. No, no, no. It's your scooter. See what you don't understand. I mean, they were such nice kids. Like I felt so bad. Come on. Yeah. But then also didn't party. It'd be

like we trained you better than this. Like you, you're not supposed to shy away. You're supposed to defend us. We have to have a conversation about gun violence was the cope that was the, yeah, that's the, yeah, I saw that. Well, there's two things. There's two things I predicted where I go like how long before it becomes about guns? Yeah. Right away. We can't talk about how it's the way we can't talk about how it's maybe the goddamn government who did it to him. Uh, cause he poses no threat to conversation about women. Yeah. How many women had access to this poor kid? I see that kid's high school picture and it breaks my heart. I'm like, this is, you're not, you're not just born fucked up like this.

No. No one's born in a way to go take a rifle and miss an easy shot like that, right? Pretty wild, pretty wild. Obviously, no one with a dad would have missed such an easy shot. That's a very good point. You know?

That's a very good point. Number. 100 yards, I think I was hitting 400 feet. That's you warm up on like dude, I double that when I was 12 years old and I was learning how to shoot on a 22 rifle. I was, I was able to hit bull's eyes from probably that plus 50 yards. Yeah. Just no laser sites by the way, back then literally just a fucking iron site. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh look, pull it ting. Like, Oh cool. How far is that? One 50. Wow. Cool. You know? And this guy's like, Speaker 0 4 1 2 3 0 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Shit. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. You can almost see the guys who were instructed to kill him after

he killed the president like fuck. He missed. We got to kill him anyway. You know, like how much of that you think was an is it an inside job or is it all just incompetence? No, I love the incompetence. I liked that. You think that the highest trained men with military precision were like, well yeah, but you got to answer to a woman. Like if you're that sniper, you know, you have to call your boss and explain why you shot a guy on a roof. Yeah. And there's just no telling what women are one day to the next. There's no fucking telling what they're going to say. And to be honest, it's like the shit that's happened to cops since the George Floyd thing of like, you know, you're damned. If

you do that, that's causing hesitancy by, I don't want to lose my pension. Yeah. Well, there's a bit about this kid away plug Goliath, but there's a bit about it in the beginning where I'm like, you know, women could never do this kind of job because they would fix the gun on and be like, Oh no, is that some kind of black kid? I don't want to be a murderer and a racist. Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. I think I'm a shitty cop instead of a good martyr. It did seem like he was had a shot and didn't take it. Yeah. I mean, call me old fashioned, but if I see a they, them on the roof, I'm just, I'll take my chances. And then I shoot Trump in the shoulder. I got him. America. I'll

take that chance. Like, you know, it's just liberals want to kill me, right? Liberals want to kill me. So I can't go with them. This is all, we've got to like, you know, you've got to pick for what's happening right now. Conservatives want to control everything I do. I know that. Yeah, they want to keep the porn away from you. No porn.

No porn. They don't, I found this out this week. That conservatives have a real problem with being fat. They find me grotesque men. They don't like being fat women. They're fine. No, no men. They have a problem with me being fat, which I think is quite homosexual in nature, but why'd you find this out? Oh yeah. No, because a Owen Benjamin came at me and it was espousing how grotesque my body was to him, which I felt to be kind of gay. Like here's how many times you and I have talked about my body. Oh, are you losing

weight? Nope. All right, cool. I'll talk to you. I don't think I've even talked about, well, no, no. When, when, when there was like a weight loss contest, it veto. Yeah. You were like, you want to get in on this? And I said, no. And you did not even follow up with a text that said, are you sure? Yeah. Like it could be good for your health. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Yeah. I make bad choices and this is the product. Like this isn't this, is this not what freedom looks like? And people go, well, well, how are you going to defend your family when the purge comes? I don't have a family. I'm going to eat them. That's there's that that yeah, they can't hit anything. Yeah, hit the broadside of a barn. What do you mean?

I'll just be I'll just be eating my girlfriend alive when they come to the door And I'll just go like you guys are too late liberals want to kill me Conservatives do want me to die, but they want me to be able to choose it They want me to say I know thank you. I don't want to die for Israel. And then they're like, okay, that's okay. Liberals, which by the way is the only choice on their side. Like, well, it's either either dying or you're going to die for Israel, which is all the same version of like you're dying for Jesus Christ and God. You got to live, you know, you got to waste your life on all this horseshoe. Right? That's what I think

is so funny when, when people are like, they want me to have a choice. This is all Israel behind this. And yeah, but you know, we could still just say no, thank you. You could just still not do it. Right? Like our own government is complicit in they go like Israel's manipulating everything from behind the scenes. They go, well yeah, but don't you have to be a government doing that? It's not Israel. Don't you have to be fucking retarded to listen to that? Like this, is like the guy this is like the guy who killed himself whose girlfriend was like do it pussy Yeah, kill yourself. Can you believe she went to jail for that shit? Yeah, that's insane. I can't believe that and that's so that's my so okay

So liberals want to kill me conservatives want me to die, but they want me to have a choice in it I get to choose to go to the military and kill myself, Right? That's your true that that's actually your ultimate. It's your patriotic duty. Yeah, so I'm so okay. So I got to go conservative, but then conservatives want me to not do any. I'm not allowed to do anything drugs, no drinking, no, no horse, no, not even sex dating. No porn on nothing. Nothing that I want to do where you'll bust.

I want yeah, nothing that's satisfying to me. Yeah, spiritually sexually as a as a human being, right? So then I gotta go to the liberals and say, okay, well they don't want, and they go, well we want you, liberals say, well we want you to do whatever you want to do as long as you're not hurting anybody. And I say... I'm cool with that. Great, I'm in. I'm, okay, I'm 100% liberal now, and they say, by the way...

Suck this lady's cock! By the way, if you don't suck this lady's cock, you're hurting her. Yes! If you don't call this man's cock, you're hurting her. Yes! If you don't call this man a woman, you're hurting her. I'm like, wait a minute, that's... You've lured me in with this! I'm not allowed to do whatever I want as long as I don't hurt people, but the catch is, everything hurts people!

Everything hurts everybody! So I gotta do everything and say, oh fuck! Alright! You got me there! You got me there! So I said, conservatives, I need help, help me, I made a mistake. mistake. Yeah, they say well, we know we suck this lady's cock over here. Well, that's a man. That's a man Well, they're right. I feel more right right? That's that is oh, yeah Yeah, you can yeah, you don't have to call you don't have to call a man a woman

I say yeah, and and you have to call them a pedophile. Wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't agree with that. I'm 40 I Mean he is 40 fuck now. I'm confused. So I got to go back to the Beginning is that liberals want me dead? Yeah, so I got to go. That's the one I got to worry about the prevailing I try to get into the weeds of it and it just leads nowhere Yeah, so I guess I I try to get into the weeds of it and it just leads nowhere. Yeah. So I guess I just got to stick with the dead. Do you think that's not to get all CNN here, but do you think that Trump getting shot changes

who he picks as vice president? I hope he picks Mike Flynn. I hope he doesn't pick JD Vance or any of these fucking Connardos. That would be bad. None of these neocons. I love Cernovich, but I see Cna bitch pitching JD Vance. I'm like man I don't think you got all this DeSantis out of you. Yeah, I don't think you he's got I think he's got to go like Ultra very iconic pro military. Yeah

Gabbard would be a nice left field pick because she would definitely kill him then though. Yeah Oh, you think so? Yeah, cuz she's like, I think she's very I think she's too liberal for me she's like pro I think she's very, I think she's too liberal for me. She's like pro-military in a, in a complex, industrial complex kind of way. Really? I don't, I don't feel like she's anti-interventionalist wars. So listen, I'm listen. Why do you like Tulsi?

Let me ask you that then. I, well, first of all, I like her because she's one of the only people in our lifetime to switch parties because the party has gone too fucking crazy. Okay. Like most of them just are like, well, I'm pot committed at this point, I gotta stay here. Yeah. So I like that she's like,

no, this shit's getting a little too crazy for me. But I think- You might be right, I don't know that much about her. I think she's pretty measured. Like I just think she's not, you know, she's... She's not like one of these babbling, shrill fucking bitches. And she's served in the military. Like, she's enlisted after 9-11. That's a negative for me.

And she hates, but she hates interventionist wars. She doesn't think we should be involved in shit in the Middle East at all. Okay. So, I mean, I am for whatever person feeling about, I'd rather have a criminal than, than a politician. Yes. And in a second place, Flynn for me is like, well, they tried to kill him already. So I'll take the guy they tried to kill. I am. They didn't. And I like, and I, and I liked the idea. The reason I ask if it changes is because I think, I think he thought before Saturday, I probably need one of these neo cons to pull the middle

and get elected. Now I think he's like, I think I kill you, man. I fucking killed you. That's the thing is now I think he looks at it. He goes, maybe it's Vivek, right? Cause Vivek is like, I'll blow up the FBI on the first day. And he's like, he's a lunatic. He, I need him behind me. You should have two vice presidents. He should just go, ah, fuck it. I don't care. Yeah. I got to his president's school. I got two. Everyone's doing two now. Two scoops, two vice presidents. Yeah. Is there a rule against that? I'll just have him switch out. Yeah. They'll quit. The other one will step in. They're just going to show up together. I

got a guy. I got a guy one and a lady one. You know? And when it's her time of the month, it'll be his time of the month. You know what I mean? That would be aw- Yeah. Ah, man. Just sub it.

Well, we put her on leave for five to seven days. Yeah, she's out. V-Vex in! She's doing it today. V-Vex in! You know, and then... That's what Rome did, right? It worked out for them, I think.

I don't- I don't know. They had two- It- It did not work out. Yeah? Okay. That's how. I think it worked out for them. I think I don't I don't know they had to it did not work Yeah, I think they had to they had like two Caesars They didn't call them Caesars, but two guys that would go around making degrees for everything. Oh, yeah Not good. Is that where that phrase with the third degree? He's got the a bitch walked in with the third decree be funny though. I

But yeah, I think it I definitely think the plan changes after they try to fucking kill you I mean, you know, it's They're saying it's a I saw that gay guy George Takei. Oh, yeah said Well, they're all going like well, it was a Republican doing this Oh, yeah, they said that. Like, do you know that people register for the wrong side to vote against somebody twice? And in the primaries?

Yeah. Yeah. They register for that because it's a closed primary so they can vote against the guy they don't like. Right. Do you not... I know that you know this. I know that some of you know this and you're just saying it to lie're just saying it to lie. Yeah, that's what drives me fucking crazy

Just say you want him dead. I get that you can't do it on social media with like you can't lose your bank accounts and stuff It's fine. But don't make such a big deal. Like you really don't want to get dead. Yeah, I mean, yeah Be nice politics, you don't have to lie so hard the other way Yeah, you could just abstain from comment like Right. Like, oh, you know, well, best wishes, I guess. You know, it's a real. Of course you want him dead. It's a real tragedy. Yeah, because they wanted him.

You want all of us dead. Yeah, they want, of course they wanted him dead. They, you know, they want all the, they want all the sunshine and beaches for themselves. Okay, let's see what I, let's see what else I get. Is that enough Trump talk for everybody? I don't know. It happened.

I was with my dad when it happened. Oh yeah? He was out at a restaurant. I don't believe fuck, Trump just got shot. And he goes, I got shot last weekend. Really? Yeah. I'm like, did he?

That's debatable. That's the correct response. That's the correct response. That's the response he wants, right? You're, really? Oh, really? Did you? But, you know, I know him. Yeah.

So I don't want to give him that. I don't want to give it up that easily. I'm like... Really? Did you really get shot? He goes, yeah. Buckshot. Right in my arm. I'm like, what are you talking about? I was shooting with your cousin. I was out shooting shotguns with your cousin, full of birdshot.

One bounced back, hit me in the arm. Yeah. I said, what do you mean? We're shooting at iron, iron. You're shooting at flat iron targets? He goes, yeah. Bounced back, hit me right in the arm. I'm like, you fucking asshole. You just, you really just ruined this. You really just made the Trump thing about you.

And you actually did get shot. Yeah. In like a dick-chainy kind of way. Yeah. In like a dick-chainy way though. Instantly. Yeah. Like before I was even done saying Trump just got shot,

I got shot last weekend. You ever heard about the time I got shot? That's no fucking possible. You've never been shot in your life. How, I got shot last weekend. That's no fucking possible. You've never been shot in your life. How did you get shot last weekend? Well, and how is this just now coming up? You know what I mean? Like exactly. That's not exactly. That's a day of discussion. I just got, Hey, I just got shot. Don't worry about it. You know, everything's good. You just weren't going to tell me that I text the old lady when I almost shit my pants. You think I'm not telling her if I get shot at the range? Dad, you made it about you.

How many guns do you think are being sold right now? Oh, billions probably. Yeah, it's exciting. Do you have guns? I have one gun. You have one gun? You need one for each hand. And I have two that I'm planning to buy tomorrow. What are you gonna buy?

I already have them picked out. Space guns? No, no, no, no, no. Handguns? One handgun, one shotgun. Which, what kind? What kind am I getting? You can tell, you want people to know

what kind of guns you have. Yeah, so. That's the best part of them. So the one I wanna get is a Springfield Armory Hellcat. I got a gun in every room of the house. Do you? Yes. I wanna get a Springfield Armory Hellcat. I won't even use them either. Somebody comes to my house, I'm pepper spraying your ass.

Yeah. Until you're down on the ground That's legal and then I'll shoot. No, no, no, I'm not shooting anybody. Okay, I'm pepper spraying like a like a woman That's getting raped because that is legal as fuck. I can walk down the street and pepper spray anybody I want anybody misdemeanor at best you come to my house pepper spray. Ah Don't come to my house. I know it's fun to come to my house. Don't come to my fucking house Yeah, you're getting fucking pepper spray. Well, I'll just say this. When the power went out the other last week, when we were over, you didn't tell me where the pepper spray

was when you were like, in case, in case this is the purge and somebody comes here while you're here, this is where all the pepper sprays are located. That wasn't the instructions I got. I don't want to get pepper spread. No, but no, I Springfield Armory Hellcat is what I'm buying. And then I also am going to buy a Mossberg shotgun as well. But let's see Springfield Springfield Armory. What? Hellcat Hellcat. Oh, nice. That's a tiny guy. The type in a hellcat pro. It's the full size. I have my hands. I have a shield. I have tiny hands too. Yeah. Yeah. My, I can't, I can't hold a nine or a little, little ones. I need a bigger hand. Oh, you have a big hand. Yeah. No, I mean, I'll get a fucking baseball mid under my thumb right there. And by the way,

this isn't just from being fat. It's been like that even when I was thin, I had that, but, uh, look at this. Yeah, that's a good, it's funny. My, my brother, I talk to my brother, my brother's like a big gun guy and he goes, uh, he's like, dude, that's a fucking full size, four inch handgun. Are you going to conceal carry that? I go, do you have any idea how big we are? Like I could conceal carry AR 15 under these fucking tits. What are you talking about? You're going to conceal carry in the crack of my ass. Are you going to conceal carry? Of course. Of course. Really? Yeah. I'm going to be that friend who's like this when we go out to dinner and you're like, what are you doing? Dude, my best friend was that friend. Yeah. All my friends are that friend. All this is so part of you don't drink that I would never conceal carry

I mean I fall on it and fucking smell beer Yeah, hey check this out this will be funny Listen honestly part of the reason why I haven't concealed carried in California is because most of my friends do yeah and so I'm always like well, I'm with this fucking dude like He'll just he'll just pop shit off if something goes off. So I'm protected. I've yes. How manly of me that I've been like my other men friend will protect me. So yeah, like, yeah, I have a significant number of like psycho right wing friends who are always, and by the way, I found out very early on that it's like, it's not your psycho right wing, it's always, and by the way, I found out very early on

that it's like, it's not your psycho right wing, it's your quiet friend who doesn't talk about shit about anything. Who's got the most guns. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like you don't want that to get out because then you steal them. Yeah, exactly. So, but like, here's the thing is when you're a degenerate comedian, like all, almost all of your friends at some point thought they were going to be a drug dealer. And so they all have going, I grew up around dudes who all had guns constantly because they would sell like a half ounce of weed every fucking week. And they're like, these guys are going to try to come steal me and kill me and steal my stash. I gotta have an AR 15. And so, you know, I was like, the worst thing somebody's going to do Joe is

fucking come over and stay too long telling stories we don't want to hear. And can we use the gun on that? That's one of the funniest things in like a pineapple express. It's so true about like you go over your dealer's house. He's like, hang out. Yeah. Just, and he's got like, he's got like a train set. You're like, Oh, you know what? Give me the gun. I'll use it on myself. Um, one of my long, long time ago, one of my friends was a, uh, doing all the stuff you're saying. And he was like known among the cops. I'm not going to say where as being a booby trapper. Oh, okay rated his house like okay What's where the booby traps? Yeah, he's like, I don't none

He's like I'm gonna go up into the attic and if something goes off goes off. That's gonna come down and shoot you Yeah, okay. There's a booby trap. Yeah, it's like this this and he had his whole house rigged Wow like tech nines Jesus yeah Yeah, very, very illegal stuff for no reason. Yeah. This is what's crazy is when you buy a gun in California, when you buy a new gun, right? You have to buy something that's on the California approved roster.

Yeah. Right? Especially if you're going to conceal carry. And so, but here's what's insane. I'm talking to the guy and I go, well, I've got guns at my dad's place in Delaware. Like, what if I want to have him transfer me some guns out here? And they go, Oh, you can get whatever that way. And I go, yeah. They go, well, a linear familial transfer he could send you an AK 47. That's fine. I go, does that

on the roster? And they go, no, but it's grandfathered in because it's a rental transfer. It couldn't be your brother or your cousin, but your father could give you a AK 47 and you could have it legally in California. Now you can't open carry it, but you can have it in your house. I didn't know that. Yes. Wow. So if your parents live in a place that have like insanely loose gun laws. Maybe I could get adopted by a fan of the show who lives in Nebraska. Cross family lives in Florida.

So cross like, hold on. It's theoretically, as we're talking to a guy who goes theoretically, if my father in Florida owned, let's say, I don't know, a anti aircraft machine gun, could I? And they're like, yeah, it's insane. The last one. And I'm sure some nerd who knows more about this than me is actually it's not, there's several guns that you can't do that with, but this is what the guy's telling us. And I'm like, Holy shit, that's crazy. Good to know. Okay. What else do I have? Yeah. So guns, guns are cool. I, and I also, it's up, but to me, I look at like, honestly, this

is what I think is so funny is people go like, uh, Hey fatso, how are you going to protect your family? If the shit hits the fan, you're going to be out choking guys. No, I'm going to be using guns. Yeah. Yeah. What do you, what do you think I'm just going to take to where you're like, well, if you're not a black belt in jujitsu, how do you plan to, you know, save your children that you don't have? And it's like, yeah, I plan to be drunk. Actually. That's my plan. Totally unpredictable guns. Yeah. Yeah. It's also, you gotta be a pretty sound mental health to like, be like, I can have a pistol in the house at all times.

I have a dog. So I don't have to worry about that shit. That's true for home invasions and stuff. Yeah, he's like, yeah. Why live in a secure, I mean, you've been, have you, have you ever been to a place? Oh no, Vito's been many times. We make food, that's why.

That's not really your thing. If we start, if we start making, if we open a lab and we start making concoctions, then you'll be like, I'll swing by. But, uh, you got some kind of two C brewing up over there. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, but we have a pretty secure building. We had a murder in our building a couple weeks ago or a death, a death that was suspected of being a murder. I should probably clarify what happened. The lady, a lady died and the cops came knocking around all of our doors and were like, have you ever heard these two fighting? And the funny thing is, is when

they knocked on Carl's door, cause we're neighbors, I don't know if people know that they knocked on Carl's door, hospitality. Yeah. And he was like, Danny, they, he finally fucking had enough of her, didn't he? Cause he was next to us. So he only hears us fighting. So when they came to the door, he goes, he goes, they go, have you heard any domestic disputes or fighting? And he goes, these guys next door and they go, no, no downstairs. He goes, Oh no, not at all. I can't, I can't hear anything other than that. Yeah. And I was in a shower when they came knocking. So I didn't answer, hear them. Yeah. And I was in a shower when they came knocking. So I didn't answer, hear them. Yeah. And I go, and I was like, did you just rap on my

door? I texted him when I got out of shower and he goes, no, that was the police. And I go, what the fuck? And then I found out that like the cops had been there all morning and like had the building like bar like blockaded off and everything. Yeah. So it was like, it was like an accident hot. No, no. Okay. And by the way, they're like the newest people that have moved into our building. So yeah, we were like, uh, it's just like, uh, hey, does random thing. It was like, so if somebody gets

murdered in our building, do we get like a break on rent for the month? Or is there like a, no, not at all. You see that Israeli landlord. Do they have to tell us? I was like, do they even have to tell us if somebody was murdered in our building? I don't think so. No, yeah, I was just like,

I don't even know how the laws of that work of like, hey, just so you know, That law is so stupid. 103 bashed his fucking wife to death. So they send it out in the newsletter. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the, here's the Clinton's family vacation photos. And also one Oh three bashed his wife to death on Wednesday. So, you know, if you see him in the, if you see him in the cul-de-sac, maybe, you know, steer clear high five. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was so I was like, I'm happy for you. I just go down. I told, I told Carl, I go, God did for you. We just go downstairs and go, Hey, you know, they asked me and I get it. I was cool. You know what I mean? Like I'm not wearing a wire by the way. Just so you know, I'm sure it was genuine. Listen, I think we all know whose fault this was. However it unfolded, she's with you. However it may have unfolded. I think we know who was the instigator in this scenario. Here is, um, you're a sports guy. You're a little big time sports city sport. Do you still have that? No, no, it's big. Yeah. Big time sports. You guys talk about sports. Yeah. Yeah. Occasionally. This is Serena Williams drops. Caitlin Clark joke. They really hate this white girl in the WNBA. Oh yeah. Yeah, we did a segment on this how she's becoming hotter to me

because she's so hated. Yeah. And they're gonna have me jerking off to this woman out of spite. I'm gonna be spite jizzing to her awful man face just because people hate her. Man, I've had some bad spite jizzes. You're bringing up bad memories.

Yeah, I'm so angry. Jerk. Fucking bitch. Fuck memories. Yeah, it's just so angry. You fucking bitch. Fuck you. Yeah. Serena Williams drops Caitlin Clark joke in Espy's monologue, white people are really crazy about you.

Yeah, they're making this thing. The tennis star. Yes. Is criticizing someone for being too loved by white people. Yeah. Tennis. Unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. And it's not just white people, by the way. It's just sports fans. And what's, and what's insane is not only is she putting up the numbers, like she's the first rookie in WNBA history to score a triple double, which I guess is a lot. I don't watch basketball. I think about basketball. Me neither. But when she played in Washington, they had to move from their little bitch WNBA arena that holds like 5,000 to a real one to a real man's where the men's teams play. That was like 22,000. She's like the Jackie Robinson of the WNBA. Yeah, basically. Yeah. That's crazy. Good example. She is the Jackie Robinson of the WNBA. She's just like, you

know, if you guys are ripping on her nonstop, they hate her, they hate her because they never wanted their sport to get like, here's the thing gentrified. Yes. It's like, Hey, imagine this is the thing with black people. And I asked this question all the time where I'll ask my friends to go, you know, it's crazy. You talk about black people and you say things that people would be considered racist, but then veto sitting in your chair, talks about black people and hits like, very uncomfortably racist, everything that he says. Yeah, but it's because I'm not pussyfooting around it.

And this is the funny thing is, people are like- Every week I'm like, what the fuck are you saying? You can't say that! That's because the guys who speak it and the guys who really mean it are different guys. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I'll explain it to you this way. When I grew up in Philly, people would use racist words about each other's culture.

Like, you fucking WAP, you DAGO, you mick bastard. They'd say the N-word, they'd call Jews the K-word, whatever. I don't want you kicked off, whatever. The planet. The planet is real. The K-word is planet. Yeah. So...

That's a planetary. And then I moved to Minnesota where nobody said bad words and I was like this feels more racist You know, they would be like have you seen these young black men these days? Oh, there's something Have you seen these individuals? Yeah, and they're like well But have you seen some of the ones in the Twin Cities up there? Oh, and here's something else I was like something else feels like the hearty are When you say something else that feels like the hearty are. And so one of the things that's how Nick Fuentes, Nick Fuentes, you know, you're talking over lunch and he did an impression of his mom talking about stuff. It sounded exactly the

same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, so I just, he's doing great by the way. What do you think of Nick Fuentes? You like, I like or hate him. I, first of all, he's going to be president. Okay. Yeah. So I agree, I think, I think that is, I think the Israel thing is, is a problem for him because it's a tough one. It's a tough one because you're going to get, you're going to be the new, you're going to be baby Hitler behind Trump. Yeah. And the reality is whether or not how this is the, my issue with the whole, the Jews thing, whether or not you believe they're sort of masterminds of everything, right?

They have never declared themselves our enemy, the way that other people in the Middle East have said, death to America, America's our enemy, we want to kill infidels, right? But ultimately the way to fix America is absolute isolationism. And anytime I've, if I ever have lunch with Nick or bend his ear or whatever, I'm like,

Hey man, just talk about fixing this place. Like you have great ideas for how to shape America, what the policy should be like that would, would get us a back on track, whatever. Don't, don't allow what's happening around the glow. Like you're basically trying to be defensive with globalism and you should just cut it off at the glow. Like you're basically trying to be defensive with globalism and you should just cut it off at the head. Like, how about we just eliminate globalism from being a possibility? I can hear the response to this in my head. Right. And just, but what I'm saying is how about we just eliminate globalism from being a possibility by changing the structure term limits. Like if you have term limits where corruption can exist then

fixed. Yeah. So, you know, I just think that, uh, and, and listen, there are people that are way more down the Israel rabbit hole who will be like, you're naive. They control everything. And you might be one of those people, but, um, but it's, but I also just like, I do have this feeling of like that, but that is, I think interest rates control everything. Yes. But that is the same sort of victim mindset that black people have like well interest rates no no no they don't know anything

They're definitely they're definitely like But what I'm pissed about seven percent interest rates black people have 30 percent interest rates. Yes. I know I'm quite black in that department But no what I'm saying is What I'm saying is it's it's like it can't we can can't keep doing this Russian doll thing of like black people can't succeed because the white people, white can't, because Jews can't because of the red. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. So it's like, it is like this Russian doll of victim. And it's, and it's just not, that's not a solution. What we need is a final solution for these problems. So, but what I'm saying is that, yeah, I like him. I like him as a dude. I never, like when we were both really funny when we were doing

stuff, yeah, I think he's like, he's really, he's really funny. What are my favorite? I always say that he looks, he reminds me of like, I was like, he, if you asked me who, what Orville Redenbacher's grandson would talk like, that's what I picture. He's like, guys, what you don't understand is he like, he seems like he's going to inherit a big candy conglomerate. He was just like, guys, I don't know if you understand it. He was talking about black people. He goes, I don't know if you understand this, but these aren't your normal ends.

These are different kinds of ends guys. And he wasn't saying the word. He was actually saying ends, which is like you said, it's way worse. It's way worse. Cause you're, it's like, Ooh, okay. These are your run of the mill ends. Okay. These are, yeah, these are super ends. Sounds like Biden. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So no, I think I think he's, he's charismatic. He's funny. He's he knows his shit. He's very well-researched. He mixes it up too. That's funny. So I think that, I think the difficulty though is that, yeah, everyone's always going to be able to label him an anti-Semite and that's we live in too

dumb of a country for anybody to explore the nuance of what he's saying. Uh, yeah. Well, they're trying to kill our, our guy. So what does it matter? Yeah, exactly. You're an anti-Semite. You guys just try to execute summarily. Like it is kind of hard to like, it is kind of hard to take somebody. It is kind of hard to take. Like I watched his whole two hour show last night and I gotta be honest with you, who? Oh yeah. Yeah. And it's kind of hard to be like, Hey man, you know, I think if you really keep at this, you too could be assassinated on national television in a few years. Like, Hey, cool. Anti-Semitism bro. You're old enough, right? Cause you're not quite 35 yet. We got, we got to wait till like 2032 or whenever he turns 35 and, and then then he can get in. It's like, then you

can get murder. You're waiting on like a guys are waiting on like Hermione to turn 18. You're waiting for Nick to turn 35. Oh come on. Yeah. Oh, they got it. You're ever president. He's in. Oh, no, he's out. Well, look, they got killed. Yeah. This is why you don't do Amish country talks. You know where they, you, you maybe don't stay in Trump. Have it like a Pope mobile. Yes. Maybe don't stand in a field where they're known for not believing in dentistry and be like, what do you mean? We didn't have all the shield at least.

I think you should be in a mech suit. I want Lizzo's big girls. He should be in one of those. He should be in the sons of what the fuck is that? Brotherhood of steel. He should be one of those for the rest of the campaign. You know, and with a Darth Vader voice? It's terrifying! It's fucking terrifying, because you know, the whole like stealing elections, which they

obviously did. Which I think is hilarious, because people go, I go, do you think if they're going to fucking whack this guy on national TV that they wouldn't see him in an election? Are you fucking out of your mind? I'm going to change this vote to the other guy actually. That's crazy. Why would we wouldn't do that? We wouldn't fix an election.

You just fucking try to kill him. You tried to kill him on national TV. Like that, I didn't, that did not set into my head until, until Carl laid it out to me. He goes, dude, they set this up to where his fucking head was gonna explode on national television. Yeah. Like they fucking, they were in 4K zoomed in. Because of a five mile an hour wind, it didn't happen. Yeah.

That's it. Five mile an hour wind. Carl pointed out something interesting. He goes, do you, he goes, you didn't see. Because instead of pointing a little bit this way, he pointed right at the middle of his head. Well, and Carl also said, he goes right before the footage of that, that everyone's seen, he reading off the prompting. He goes, I'm going to, I'm going to go off script. And that's where he like changed his posturing and started like moving his headboard ad libbing

saved his life. Ad libbing saved his life, dude. His inability to stick to the script. It's fucking worse that one of his supporters died. Yeah. You know, of Trump rally, obviously. Yeah. Trump, and it's traumatizing because every, every Trump supporter has been afraid of some level of violence being levied at them for six years. Forget about that. Trump supporters are afraid of losing their jobs. That's what I mean.

That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Any sort of expression of, I support Trump over the last six, eight years, has been met with... Definitely a fart. Well, I leaned this way and I felt like I had to cop to it. It's gonna be a Ralph... No, I don't think so.

I haven't eaten anything in like 12 hours. Every single Trump supporter has been afraid of some amount of violence being levied against them by the same type of people, liberals, who just see us as... Well, these people all hold these positions. You're just non-liberals or not. Like, I'm more conservative than even like moderate people.

Yes. Sorry, more liberal. Like, everything is just liberal down the board, except for money stuff. Yeah. But all of us are terrified of saying, yeah, I would like, you know, Trump be president, I think that would be good. Because they'll spend the rest of their lives,

the women, and a lot of them, will spend the rest of their lives just trying to fuck years over. Well, we've all been terrified about it for years. So it's very, it's frightening to see on television something that's so close to ending it all for all of us. Because if Trump dies, we're all fucked. That's it. It's straight to the gulag rounding you up.

90% tax rates. Ten Indians or Muslims living in your house. Yeah, that's Third. That's the issue I have with. Third amendment violated. That's the issue I have with the Jews Jews Jews stuff about America's because like well Whether or not that was the origin story of cultural Marxism seeding in America, it's now all black women. Like it wasn't, it wasn't, if you look at, hold on, if you look at fortune 500, if you look at fortune 500 companies, sea level hires over the last two years, all black, all black women. So whether or not they're, whether or not their Jedi masters were Jews, these young Padawans are Shaquiqua Jackson, who's a judge and, or sitting on the board

of Boeing or the CBO of the company. Yeah. Listen, if there's inequality outcome, we got to change the rules. I mean, the bowling joke and my special Goliath out now talks about this is like the bowling. This is why if I had a time machine, I would go back and kill the guy who created bumpers for bowling and not Hitler because that was saying that if, if my son can't win at this thing rather than teach him to practice and get skillful and be good, I'll just change the rules of the game so that he can win. And that is cultural Marxism to a tee and that is well

It is fun to hit the pins down, you know sucks to throw it in there Yeah, you don't want to feel you don't want to do the shame of your inabilities, right? I just want to see the pins like yeah, you know, yeah Yeah, nothing could possibly nothing bad could possibly go He's saying that an entire race of people going like well if I win in the game is rigged change the rules Oh, man, there's a lot of people going like, well, if I ain't winning the game is rigged. Change the rules. Oh man. There's a lot of people. Change the rule. No, I'm kidding. There's a lot of people that exist on that are just like DEI. Like it's like, as though it's like vice president. What's your favorite piece of Kamala Harris legislation that's been pushed

through? Uh, yeah, I don't know. She's never had an executive, she was an attorney general and then the fucking vice president of the United States. You know what would be funny is if you didn't pick, if you picked just like someone who was competent, you could just take Biden out and run them and run the VP. But you had to go for like the most obnoxious. Woke. DEI woke shit.

Yeah, and by the way, she's not black. Indian woman. She's so shrill. She's so shrill. She makes fucking Hillary Clinton sound like Aretha Franklin. I mean, it's, she has such a grading unpleasant. Like you, if that's the thing, that's why Tulsi Gabbard, like nobody hates her because she's true. She's not like, like how horrible is that? Right? Yeah. She's just like, well, I wouldn't be in Palestine. I'll tell you that.

You know, so it's like, oh, this is nice. This is crazy that a woman exists that could talk like that. Yeah, it really is. Relaxed. OK, this is the Serena Williams thing. Caitlin Clark had an amazing year and is nominated for three awards. You're gonna roll her eyes. You are the Larry bird in that you are an amazing player.

You have ties to Indiana and white people are really crazy about you. Oh, all the black women. Get a get a Serena. Yeah. Hilarious. Also, I think it was Cuma. He's like nice white hair, bitch. Serena Williams. It's like white people. Real crazy about you. That's natural. It's totally natural. That's cool. Hundred percent natural. I got that. Yeah. It's just the guy's mom, her husband's mom. Yeah. I don't know if you know, but Videl Sassoon, that's what does that. It's just a, you know, it just gets the moisture back in. Here's the largest HR company in the world dropping the E from DEI. Oh, that'll

fix it. Yeah. The equity was the problem. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. Diversity. OK. Inclusion. Inclusion. Yeah. Equity. Equity. No, definitely not. We're not going to have any equity. We're going to do the other ones, though. And the SHRM. We're going to lead with inclusion

because we need a world where inclusion is front and center. Yeah, that means nothing. Yeah. Right. Inclusion. Yeah. You know, back in the day there was these things called qualifications and those used to be front and center. We used to be like, hey, before we let you weld, you can weld, right? They were just sort of like, hey, it's black, get him in there, we'll figure it out. So what if he can't weld? He probably could. Yeah, that's not the problem. And that means inclusion for all, not for some people. Everyone has a right to feel that they belong

in the workplace and that they are included. Today, they announced the important shift in our approach to inclusion and diversity. Yeah, I like, the equity is the problem because the equity implies, the equity is a promise. Yes, yes. The equity is measurable. And you'll also be a shareholder at some point.

Well, maybe not. Inclusion and diversity are not measurable. Right. Are you diverse? Subjective. Yeah. We've got people of all sorts of backgrounds and races and everything.

And it's the best person possible. And it's very diverse. Diversity and inclusion, though, feels redundant. Can't you just go down to diversity? Well, inclusion is like we're going after every community and saying you're free to come apply to our diverse workforce. Okay, is there a guarantee that we're gonna No, yes, we got rid of that. Yeah, that shit's gone. It's just DI now It's just these nuts now. Yeah, you can suck on them if you didn't get the job because you fucking suck

That's the that's the point effective immediately. They'll be adding the acronym I and D instead of I E N D. The strategic decision underscores our commitment to leading with inclusion as a catalyst for holistic change in the workplace and society. Here's people melting down. That's always what I wanted corporations to do is like, Hey, could you guys fix society? Yeah. As a private corporation, like I've always looked at Johnson and Johnson, but what are

you doing to fix society? You know, sure. As a private corporation, I've always looked at Johnson & Johnson, but what are you doing to fix society? Fix society. Sure, the baby powder is great, but society is my real concern about what you're doing. Look at these guys melting down, all these gay lords. You remember how people would always scream back at Steve Jobs when he would present the new iPhone and be like, but what about society? Yeah. What are you doing for that?

Okay, X. AT&T data breach. Oh, D& about society? Yeah. What are you doing for that? OK, X. AT&T data breach. Oh, D&D wheelchairs. You see that? No. I always love a good wheelchair story. Dungeons and Dragons has people in wheelchairs now. Speaking of diversity inclusion, we are going to do a Fat Watch,

right? Yeah. OK, good. I don't not include me. I want to be included. I got a good Fat Watch. Is this an inception where I am the fat watch and I've been at the whole time? It's like six cents. Ah, this is the D and D that you never tell you never told me what made people in wheelchairs unable to participate in combat. This is the first of all first of all there's welds in that

wheelchair that would not have existed when that suit of armor was made okay because it's not a wheelchair is a little bit of an anachronism right like that's not the they don't have I do kind of alloys to support the framing of this wheelchair in a world with this plate mail. Exactly. I do love that it has a Ren Fair wooden wheel. It has complex joint welding, but also a wooden wheel so that you know that it's... I don't know if they're fucking around.

By the way, I brought up welding twice now. I know very little about welding other than I have two uncles that are very good at it. They've done it for 50 years and I'm going, Oh yeah, but make sure it's got wooden wheels though so that we know they love this. I don't know why they're going after a Dungeons and Dragons so much love the love this stitched leather armrests with memory foam inside. Obviously the worst, this guy woke up, he rolled over, he strapped on his plate mail. Yeah. With like a series of pulleys like Back to the Future 3, right? Yeah.

With Todd the ice cube making machine and got into his wheelchair. Right. And all these people are just looking, I guess. I don't know what's going on there. And by the way, who's that thing over his shoulder in the tree? I don't know. Is that the CEO of the medical company that made that wheelchair? Yes, take my- Yes, increased premiums

Every time I look at the Dungeons and Dragons discourse It's more retarded than the last Hilarious Now they're trying to plug wheelchairs in and pretending like it's totally fine Hold on, they want to be able to have a wheelchair character in the video games? Uh, no, just like sitting around pretending to be in a, to play a game. They want everyone to do that. Could you just imagine that the wheelchair is part of it if that's your thing?

Well, they can, but they want, like, the company to come out and go like, everyone, it's cool that wheelchairs are in the game. And it doesn't change anything at all. Meanwhile, I don't even know that their wheelchair people are asking for this. I doubt it. First of all, wheelchair people, you have one sport and one sport only and it's nosed. And why doesn't that exist?

Why aren't there wheelchair jousts? It's a question. You want to pro sport? I'll fund the league right now. Get Dana white on the phone. Hey, fuck slap fest or whatever. It's called that. Let's slap shit about wheelchair joust. How about ball and wheelchair joust? That'd be great. Where we, yeah, no, no, they don't

have steam. Oh no, no, no. We don't push themselves. We dropped them down ramps. So the speed and then it's about which one can aim that fucking thing the other guy dies which by the way he's been praying for since he was in that wheelchair so I think it's win-win for everybody. Let's see I got oh yeah 42 percent of Americans want to outlaw pornography. This is ridiculous this is this infuriates me. I think it's about right though because 40 percent of Americans are fat women right?? Oh, okay. Well, isn't that, is that right? So they're not in the, and it's not made for them. Yeah. They're angry about it. They're angry. They can't make money off of it. Hot bitches love porn. It's their golden parachute. And there's only a couple of those hot bitches.

Yeah. Oh yeah. 2%. This is a name. Who are you to tell me to knock a Henry Okita? Yours are all Asian. Yeah, they're all Asian. What's that about? American women are too fat. Sorry, now that you say it. Sorry, now that you say it, it's true. You're getting there for me.

American support and opposition for select project 2025. I don't know what that is. That's they're like, oh, this is project 2025 is the don't know what that is. That's their like. Oh, this is project 2025 is the new boogie man. Yeah. Yeah, I love how they're doing that. They just, I love how the left created a platform that nobody's, you know, none of the candidates are pushing

and they're like, but this is their secret agenda. Look, it's from some conservative pack. Do you support or approve or oppose the following proposals? Percent of US adult citizens using active duty members of the military to help with arrests along the US-Mexico border? I got no problem with that. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Okay.

50%. That's the highest one. All right. Yeah, 50%. Let's do it. Outlawing pornography 42% Man Also 42% that strongly oppose what concerns me is the 16% in the middle who are not sure how do those people jerk off just

You know what I'm just gonna stop No, no, this is bad. This is all bad. I don't know. Some stuff is okay. I don't, you know what? I'm just gonna stop. So 42% of people watch it and they want it banned because they can't control themselves. 42% of people watch it and love it. Love it. And 16% of people. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I should be limited in my pornography. I don't, I let them have in my pornography. I don't I Let them have all they want. I don't watch it hardly at all. Yeah Occasionally though. I'll be like, oh this chick also has a porno. I won't check that out See what our insides look like. I'll see what's the worst cutting sounded way worse than just watching I said like a serial killer thing to say didn't it?

It sounded way worse than just watching her. It sounded like a serial killer thing to say, didn't it? Abolishing the Federal Reserve. Only 18% of people support that. 52% of people oppose abolishing the Federal Reserve? Why? I bet if you pull those 52%, they don't even know what it is. I bet they don't even know what that is.

They just hear federal and think, yeah, that's good. We need that. We need that. Yeah. It's like social security. We need social and security right there that's the cutting funding for Medicare and Medicaid 83% oppose but we love art who did they ask the sick and dying sick and dying people well everyone's fat yeah I guess so yeah you know what's funny as a fat I don't ever go to the doctor or hospital.

Yeah. Because I, you know. Yeah, I could see that. Because you know what the answer is? Lose weight. Lose weight and exercise and eat better. Like what am I going to do? Okay.

You guys hooked me up to the chemotherapy. Like, yeah, it's probably fourth on the list of things you need to do. This one. If I'm not willing to do the this, if I'm not willing to do the, this, if I'm not willing to fix this, why would I go fight the cancer? Are you fucking dumb? This is, that is my beef with other fats, by the way, stop going and getting chemotherapy and you fucking diabetes Medicaid. If you're not willing to do the, this, you don't get the other shit. Get the other shit. You don't get the other shit. No. Uh, OpenAI, this AI, news, OpenAI and Thrive just launched a hyper-personalized AI health coach.

So this is, they're using all the computers to tell fat people to lose weight. Which we could do for free, but we're not allowed to. God, I wish fat shaming worked on me. You do? I wish it worked on me. It doesn't. It doesn't work on you. No, there's no, like what you do to Vito every week with the pirate on- It doesn't work on No There's no like what you do to veto every week with the part doesn't work on him. Yeah, he has a lot shit I know he's lost 20 pounds since we started

He's used to Chinese osempic Well, he gave that up because it wouldn't cuz he wasn't hungry Oh, yeah, he couldn't he wouldn't just gorge himself on food. So he quit the miracle medicine It's so funny too, because like people look at us and go, you guys are both fat and I go, yeah, but we're both fat for very different reasons. Like I'm fat because I'm at a computer all day and I don't get out and do enough. Yeah. I eat, I eat pretty normal and like what I do eat is not the best shit. Yeah. But like veto, I've seen veto load a plate, you know, it's like, it's like a guy who's like, you can come to the buffet.

But you only got one drink at a wedding. Yes. Oh yeah. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is all I'm not walking back over here. Exactly. That's what I'm not walking back over here. That's what he, and I'm like, yo, and then also too, though, I also, it's also about time because like there's been mornings where I've've got I'll get up at like five or six in the morning Specifically when I was working with the dudes on the East Coast I would get up super early and when I'm booking ship for other comics or whatever I get up super early So I'm on the business schedule of the East Coast people. Yeah, Florida, New York, whatever I'll get a text from him at five in the morning and it's not because he's an early riser.

No, he's still up and I've got text drinking fucking caffeine. We were doing a show and he didn't know that caffeine stayed in your system for like six hours. Yes. What do you mean? Yes. It keeps you up. Yeah. Yeah. You got to stop drinking. If you're going to go to bed at midnight, you got to stop drinking sodas at 6 p.m. Yeah Okay, let me go through some of these comments. Chris Primer I heard a story about the dot-com bubble with the price of all those ethernet switches and other hardware collapsed 80% due to overcapacity And this one, I don't know, this is a lot of inside baseball Okay, you don't have to scratch it on my account. No, I'm not, it's just too much. Oh, too much reading?

Too much reading. All right. Eric Brandt, firemen are as bad as cops. Please either rant about this on your show or bring in firemen is a problem. People are actually defending this shit, okay? I don't think they're as bad as cops, that would be impossible.

Oh, I think I saw this video. You did? I think so. What happened? Is it a video or it's a thing? I think it's this video. You did? I think so. What happened? Is it a video or it's a thing? I think it's a video. Fireman. Okay.

Let's see. Someone parked right beside a fire. Oh, I saw this. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Okay. So the fire, there's a fire house. Oh, I saw this. Yeah. Okay, so the fire, there's a fire here, right? And the fire engine pulled up and I assume this guy is parked in front of a hydrant, sort of.

And this cop is, or this fireman is just bashing through. Fire burn through it. Bash through the driver's window. OK, you know, yeah, passive window now bashing through the driver's side window because they got to put the hose through it. Yeah. No, I kind of like this.

You like this? I like this. I like this. I'm back to blue on this one. He's really had. Really? How close are how close are they to this thing? They couldn't go around. Oh, they could just drape the hose in I'm back to blue on this one. He's really had... Nah, fuck you. He really... How close are...

How close are they to this thing? They couldn't go around? Oh, they could just drape the hose in front of it. That's a bit much. I like it. You like it? I don't give a fuck. Why?

Parking next to a fire hydrant? Yeah, dude. Yeah, but what are the odds there's gonna be a fire? Low. Well, not for this guy. 100%. Where they actually connect it. Oh, oh! Who's recording this?

Okay, he's going through the car. Is he going through the car on purpose? Alright, where does this thing, where does this thing fasten? They could have just draped that over the car. Oh, you fucking asshole! The charging's up here, 94 and 83. I kinda love it though. I kinda do love it.

You do? I kinda do. Listen, I know I shouldn't, but I kinda dig it. I also hope it's a leaky hose and his car gets flooded. Oh no, why? Is the parking? Yeah This isn't this New York too. Yeah, it's New York. So they went through that guy's car for basically no reason No, you could have literally draped that hose over It's probably less safe going through the glass. Yeah, of course. Yeah

Yeah, I don't like I Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like, uh, I don't like either one. Just go over the top of the car. You can't just lay that hose over the top. Go through the back. It seems like he's just doing it for fun. Yes. Yeah. I mean, if you're, if you're a fireman, this is kind of your, this is, this is what you play for. The problem with the problem with hating firemen is, I'm... Defending yourself against crime you have to do either way. Defending yourself against a fire you have to... You can't do. You can't do it yourself, yeah.

Yeah, I can't shoot the fire. But the firemen... Have you tried it? Maybe no one's ever tried. No one's ever tried to shoot the fire. What if you... Remember they say fight fire with fire? Yeah.

Maybe that's what they mean. Maybe that's what they mean. Maybe you have to launch a nuke into the fire that would work But because of the cops I can't have a nuke. Yeah goddamn Well, but if your father can buy a nuke where he lives he could transfer over to you. Yeah But they all I don't know I need more. I just need more conflict between cops and firemen. That would make me happier Yeah, well, you know, I don't like all the brotherhood shit. Between the two of them?

Between the two of them. You want it to be a rivalry. I would rather hate, if they're going to be the same, I will hate them. Okay. Cops and firemen. Yeah. If they're going to be on the same side, hate them. Yeah.

I don't care. I'll be on the side of the fire then. Yeah. You have no choice. You leave me no choice. Okay. Yeah. So, intellectually consistent point. Yeah. So is there intellectually consistent point? Yeah. So I got to go against them, but you know, I don't know.

Yeah, I could never go against the, it could never go against the blue. I backed the blue because of you blacked back a couple of times a year when they tase a trans and I, it brings me a lot of joy. So that forgives. Yeah. But they prevent you from doing that. No. Well, you know, you know, I don't have to chase the trans to enjoy it.

There's something about a guy in full police tactical gear tasing a trans that just really does, I'm like, listen, you could shoot as many black people as you want this year. This was enough joy for- I get it. The entire- I think I'm not white enough to understand police.

Really? Yeah, I think it's like a white thing and I'm not, I'm only half 49% white and I think you have to be, cause it's like the collectivism, morality. Yeah, yeah, I get it. I understand that. Share and the high trust. I don't have enough white in me to appreciate that. Yeah, see where I grew up,

there were two jobs you could have if you didn't go to school, which most of us didn't. And it was cop or heroin dealer. And if you were Italian, you could deal with it. I understand. You could, if you were Italian, you could maybe get your way into the mafia or construction. These are your choices. I didn't come from a very high brow part of the world. So I, I know a lot of cops, like from the area I grew up in and they were all like regular dudes. They were, they were not like these arbiters of morality. It was really like, I got to fucking come out here and deal with

this shit. You piece of shit. Like it was always the vibe of cops was different. Like they're not the cops out here and that's a big difference. Like the LA is very, very different. Cop world. LA cops are like guidance counselors where they're like, how dare you? Yeah. You know what I mean? They're very, first of all, they're all Mexican women, all the police in LA. Now we just have way too many races out here and it's just, yeah, they have to be, they have to be diplomats. You can't have cross-racial policing. Yeah, oh no.

You just can't. Like, it's way too volatile. People, normal people who are not committing crimes can't cope with that. People who are committing crimes cannot cope with multiracial police. If there were uneducated white guys out here trying to become cops, you would be amazed

at how much they're not making white people cops. The reality is, is no white guy in LA wants to be a cop. No. So none of them are even applying to where they're getting rejected to a degree where this is a story. But like I see cops in this city seven times a day. I mean, everywhere you go, if you're in a parking lot, there's a police vehicle in the parking lot. If you're driving down the road, you see motorcycle cops or cops or whatever. It's always a black. The only cops I see that are white are like Burbank motorcycle cops. And they're the worst.

They will arrest you for fucking smoking a cigar on the street. They are the fucking worst. They get they get my girlfriend all the time. Yeah, she drives like a fucking maniac and she never sees the motorcycle cops and they always pop her. She's tickets out the fucking ass. And they, and you know, there's where are you going? I don't care.

Here's your fucking ticket, you dumb bitch. On the last episode of hololive, Hey Dick, this is Ameramutt. Oh, hey Ameramutt. That's me. What have anime fans ever done to you? Stop calling VTubers pedo. It's not funny.

It's kind of funny. I mean this is what people... You're dressing up like a little girl. This is what people don't understand is like... If I call you a pedophile, and you get really defensive about it, you just extended the bit. Like this is like when you call a guy gay on the internet. I'm not gay! And you get really defensive about it. You just Extended the bit like this is like when you call a guy gay on the internet. Okay I'm not your day. I've never been gay a day in my life. Here's how you do his

Training record exercise for everybody. Yeah, are you gay? No. Oh, okay. Well not right now. Okay. Have you ever had gay thoughts? Like what how, define thoughts? Right. Exactly. Right. That's a normal human response to the question. You know who's, you know who's can't stop thinking about sucking other guys dicks is the guy who goes, I've never been gay! Let the record show! Not a day in my life have I been an actual homosexual!

I mean, am I God? I don't think about sucking cocks ever I'm not thinking about it right now Stop putting it in my mind don't get mad. I've not I am NOT ever have I ever bet it's like you're you're now You're doubling down too far the other way don't get mad because you missed out anime your entire life And that it's far better than the Marvel HBO slop you chug down slop So saying that you just don't get their creepy nerdy obsession. I mean sucks. It's terrible. It's like it's

For kids for people who have autism like you know Can't share with you something sure go ahead share with you something about what it's like to live in our home? Last night, my girlfriend's explaining something to me that happened at her job. And she's explaining that the Asian woman is talking to her. And she's like, you know, they talk so low, I can't understand her. And she's just like, and she's impersonating her. And I'm listening to her. And I have my eyes closed, you know,

cause this is eventually when you've been with a woman long enough, you know that like when they start talking, you just sort of close your eyes and you go like, I'll try to get through this. Yeah. Cause then you can't accidentally get in trouble. Yeah. You can't, you can't give anything. It's like, right. So you just close your eyes only back as I, as I, she's just doing this and I'm laughing. I open my eyes and turn and she's doing this face as well. And I go, wait a minute. Have you been doing that face the entire time you're doing the voice? And she goes, what face? And I go, you're squinting your eyes. And she goes, I don't even realize I'm doing it.

And then I go, wait a minute. Do I do that? When I do the voice and I immediately was like, Oh my God, I can't. And then I was, and then I realized I can't do the voice with my eyes. I can't do it with trying to do it with your eyes wide open. You can't do it with open eyes. You have to. And then, and then I had a chicken and egg conundrum. Like, wait, is that why they talk like that? Or is that why their eyes are like that? Like which one started first? They develop a language that you can only do like that. Or, or did the, did the voice develop? Yeah, what came first? Oh.

Also, look at this. These are your guys constantly getting outed as actual pedophiles. You're talking to me? I don't know. You're saying this is my guys. Let's see what my guys are. I don't really like Marvel movies. I think they're like a football game.

Yeah, they were. They're retarded. Yeah, they haven't been good in a long time Okay, who are my guys getting out at his pedophiles Anime is for animes for pedos. It's that oh, it's dr. Pizza. Oh Well Oh, it's Dr. Pizza. Oh. Well, I hate it. I like pizza, I don't know, but I don't like doctors. So, I don't know. Yeah. What are you saying here, buddy?

I think you've taken it. That's the problem with making fun of VTubers, they take it real seriously. Yeah, no. Well, the greatest way to prove to people that you're not something is to defend. And scream about it. Incessantly.

I told them on the last episode, don't email me, I'm just joking. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, but you need to know though. You need to know that we're not out here. Yeah. Actually, fuck these kids. Okay. Stop being such a team guy.

Okay. It's always the ones who get offended that have something to hide. Just saying. Yeah. That's what we just said about... the defensive. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said VTubers or, uh... pedophiles.

There's just an astounding amount of them. If you look at the data, it's not... I'm sorry I said VTuber. I'm sorry I talked about VTubers. Like, the Venn diagram of pedophiles and anime people is very lopsided in that like, a small sliver of pedophiles are also into anime, but a large sliver of anime people are also pedophiles. I don't know. It's a very...

Just don't do anything. Uh, Jehovah's Witness. I got the following letter in the mail today, which I will attach below. It perplexed me because at first it was addressed to my neighbor, all uppercase, of course. So I figured this might be one of my actual neighbors finding a passive aggressive way to bitch at me. Lo and behold, it was a completely handwritten letter from a Jehovah's Witness. It appears that they do not go door-to-door anymore, instead of opted to send you additional junk mail, thereby preventing you from telling them to fucked up. Oh, so they're just doing letters now?

Oh, so now they just don't do confrontation at all. I guess COVID probably fucked over like the Mormon outreach thing. Yeah, but it's like, you know, isn't that the gig? Like here's the thing. That's my problem with organized religion. If you believe in it so much that you're going to proselytize on my doorstep, have the fucking courage to knock, pussy. You don't get to just slip the paper into my fucking and let God do the rest.

Yeah, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Dear neighbor, we're reaching out to your neighbors who live in the Colorado Springs area with so many uncertainties in our lives. It's great to be able to turn to our Bibles. You know, okay, so a nice white boy smiling and telling you about God is kind of refreshing, right? It feels good. Sure. A man writing a letter is creepy and weird.

Men's handwriting feels like a serial killer. So bad, it never does. This is a bad angle. If I wrote you a note right now and slid it across the table, you'd think your death was imminent. I would be creeped out by that. It's so bad. Get a girl to write these letters.

Yes. Not a man. Yeah, absolutely not. In all capitals? And those are the jobs. When you talk about black jobs, there should be woman jobs, handwriting things. Yeah, not Secret Service.

Yes. Not secret service. How about just lettering? Write down what was happening. Yeah, letter heads, lettering, interior decorating, design. These are lady jobs. It's great to be able to turn to our Bibles and read about the promises that our Father, Jehovah God,

has given. No, this is no good. One that I really like is found at revelations 21 3 4. If you don't have a Bible, go to JW.org. I also don't like putting a URL in a handwritten note. It's kind of, I don't like those. There you will find the Bible in over a thousand languages. I hope you check out the website.

Take care. Hey man. Sincerely Don Didler. Wow. Can I call him a pedophile? Are the Jehovah's Witness people going to freak out if I do that? Also what is happening in that bro? Sure. It's just a, it's just a guys. Yeah. Look at that. Women explaining things to a man. I'm trying to watch. I'm trying to do my, I'm trying

to do the internet here. Can you not show me this fucking book? Hey, did you notice that Jesus is, what do you think about like, what do you think about religious women, conservative influencers, like the Ali Betts stuff? Same thing I think about all women. Okay. Like. Highly fond of. Yeah, I don't think you can even conceive

of what you're saying. Yeah. I don't think, you know, it's like, I used to like. It's like six gallons of water in a five gallon bucket. I used to like cooking ladies. Cooking, yeah. Cooking ladies are great.

And then you bake it, you put it in, and then you take it out. This one's already done. Rachel Ray is probably the extent of what women should have ever done on television. Yeah. Religion is like... Well, they could play holes too, like, you know, like... This is a mob movie and then this guy fucks this chick. You could be the chick. That's fine.

But like, Senator? Religion is like, it's like men... Men jockeying for the, like to control younger men. Yes. Women don't need religion to do that. No. They just cock tease everyone. Yes, yeah. So why are they, it's weird to me.

Yeah. You know? It's a strange thing. It's like, why are you pretending that you, why are you pretending to believe in God? You can just talk about sex. Well, I think in most cases it's because it's a woman who really hasn't accomplished anything in life,

who needs to have something to rest a sense of superiority on You know, I'm just spitballing here. Yeah Maybe it's because I'm more pure than you. Did you ever think of that? That's kind of where the vibe comes from Yeah, so I'm not a like a church guy. Like I believe in God, but I'm not a church guy Yeah, you know, so I the whole like, you know The real way to let God know you love him is to put money in the dish and I go hmm but I'm not a church guy. Yeah, it's a big difference. So the whole like, you know, the real way to let God know you love him is to put money in the dish.

And I go, hmm, this feels, you sure about that? You sure about that? You sure about that? You know, sure about that. So my money in the dish, you know what's funny is the government has told me the same thing. Isn't that crazy? It's the best way for me to serve my country.

It's also to put money in the dish. And there's good stuff that's going to happen. Oh my god. So I just got to sprinkle money in all these dishes and I'll be great. Rama says, quick fire story. Hey Dick Kuf here. Thank you and Sean for not killing yourselves. Since you brought up the apartment fire, woman alert last week, I got my own woman fire story.

My mother has started house fires multiple times while I was growing up. Here's the most memorable instance for me. My family was renovated in the kitchen. We had just had put the gypsum ceiling back up days before the incident. On this fateful day, we were eating lunch out on the patio when we heard the smoke detector go off.

We opened the door and found the entire house blanketed in smoke. It turns out she left the stove on and a grease fire broke out. The blaze licking the ceiling and flaming oil splirting from the burnt pot. My dad tried to snuff it out with a wet towel but to no avail. The mother of the fire. Hopefully the mother stopped this from happening again. He made a split-second decision and grabbed the pot, ran outside and tossed it out. Weirdly, it extinguished immediately.

My dad got third degree burns and took four weeks to heal completely. Had we not put up the gypsum board, we would have lost the second floor and the kitchen renovation would turn into Extreme Maker makeover home edition. What's the lesson here? Women and heat don't mix. This was not the last house fire we've experienced. Oh, okay. That's uh, gotta watch them. They just don't know. Gotta watch them. They just don't know. Situational awareness. Yeah, that and also, but they just don't know basic physics of like, grease fire. How about water? Yeah. Uh, Giannis is a hot chick. Look at this

hot chick from a show my husband and I went to. I had to see it, so do you. Chris-Chan vibes all night. Let's take a look at this. This feels like a setup. I feel like she's going to be not hot. Well, it takes all kinds. Here we go.

OK. Oh, god. It's a sexy lady. Jesus. That is a trans, right? Or is that just a real? I think that's a sexy lady. Jesus. That is a, that's a trans, right? Or is that just a- That's a, I think that's a trans, yeah. Good zoom in on the penis, I guess.

That's a little bit too zoom-y for me. Is it the new punk? People said punk- Trans is the new punk? Yeah, punk, they look, everyone laughs at them, right? Oh, you got safety pins in your clothes. Well, you can take the safety pins out. You can't uncut your dick off.

That's true, I guess. It's a pretty, it's a, it's a pretty serious commitment for something you might be into till you're 25. Uh, okay. Let's do, what time is it? It's getting, oh, it's already two. Jesus Christ. Um, okay.

Let's do an advice question for this guy. Advice needed. Lifestyle party at the end of the month. Hey, Dick, call me Ishmael. My wife and I were at a 4th of July party last weekend with two other couples that have been longtime friends. One friend, Ahab and I go back as far as kindergarten. We grew up together.

My wife got a text from Ahab's girlfriend this morning inviting us to a lifestyle party. A modern term for swingers as I understand it. Oh, okay. Your boy's been wanting to fuck you since kindergarten though? Eugh. With more than just the aforementioned friends in attendance, the wife and I have discussed

extramarital things before and this invite seemed like an obvious no pressure event to wade into the darker waters. So you have too many nautical themed metaphors here because you know what's laying ahead of you? Seamen. Big fat whales and semen if you're lucky. Yeah. I mean, imagine, imagine falling in love with your buddy and kindergarten and going through the ruse of both separately meeting women and marrying them and coming up with the concept of lifestyle parties just so that you can fuck each other. Just be gay. You

know, you could just be gay, right? What are you doing? Bringing these broads into the equation. You don't want to fuck fat chicks, man. This is bad. I'm in the Midwest. Yeah. Yeah. So already don't do anything lifestyle related. This is what's great. Just be gay.

My friends' women have decent sized double D breasts, but my wife's tits eclipse them by at least two cup sizes. Those are gagsags double G's I guess everyone but me is overweight or obese Including my wife Okay, so do whatever you want, you know fat women are like, you know those deciduous trees where it's actually one organism Oh, yeah, it's like the oldest organism on earth It looks like it looks like it's a forest. Yeah, but it's every tree is connected by the root

Yeah, like Aspen trees are like that. I think that's fat women too, right fat women are all actually the same woman connected through a fat Common portal. Yeah, you know fat fiber. Yeah, and they call that they call it the gooch The gooch particle. Yeah, God the gooch. The gooch particle. The gooch particle connects all fat women. So you think you're cheating on your wife or you're having sex with other fat women, but it's actually the same fat woman as it turns out. So, you know, don't do all this extra work. Everyone but me is obese. Including my wife. What a fun way to say that. Everyone but me. Just in case you thought I wasn't talking about my bitch wife I want to make sure you

know also her. Now I'm in. Yeah. I hate advisors like I got this one hot bitch and this other hot. These two supermodels keep trying to suck me. I don't know which one to fuck. Versa if I should fuck them and chuck them. You got any thoughts on that dudes? So while I'm bragging? Yeah, okay cool Everyone about me is overweight or obese including my wife and I anticipate the party will be a veritable pod of land whales Looking for advice on how to approach this party don't Know do you're married to a fad chick so in for a pin for a pound and for a ton I Wish to scout things out and intend to set clear boundaries with my wife That no contact shall be made this first voyage. Well, she fucking got where's's the party what's your what neighborhood is the party in?

But that's gonna be a problem But you know what you're not accounting for in that equation or the rough seas my friend Make sure you bring snacks. Yeah, if your wife starts to get hungry or horny Cuz they don't know fat women they get hungry or they can't tell which is the right emotions you got to feed them You know love you got a feeder. You don't want her you don't know, fat women they get hungry, they can't tell which is the right emotion so you gotta feed them, you know, they need love, so you gotta feed her. You don't want her getting hijacked. I've never had my old lady be cranky and I feed her and she's like, but I also wanna get fucked. But the prospect of potentially sharing my wife in exchange for uglier, fatter women

is not a terribly enticing proposal. Party is at the end of the month. Any advice appreciated, thanks. Get better friends. Gosh, your wife is fat. If you try to fuck a woman that's less fat than her, she's gonna lose her fucking mind. She'll hate you forever.

She'll hate you forever. You're a real Moby Dick. You are never harder for... as hard for me as you were for her. Yeah. You gotta find a girl that is as fat... You gotta like, find a girl that's progressively less fat than her. Or find a girl that you can pretend is a couch that you're having sex with. Not my current girlfriend, but previous girlfriends.

You ever had a girlfriend get mad at how friendly you were to a waitress Yeah, I have had that happen to me and you're like what the fuck is wrong. I'm being nice in there I wasn't being nice. You were trying to fuck her Okay I mean, I I remember I was dating a girl one time and I told her how I wanted to fuck the waitress The waitress is married. Oh yeah. I was like, this is long before I ever met you. And that was still too much information.

She was still mad about that. She was mad meeting a girl that I wanted to fuck at some point. Oh yeah. That's yeah. And I was just like, yeah, but she's married and we're leaving this place and I don't live in this city anymore. And she's worse. Too much. Makes it worse. Too much. Yeah. That's like first three years stuff though Yeah, yeah, it was the first year. Yeah, and also subsequently the last year Parties at the end of the month um Gosh, what advice going out for you? You gotta go

Take mushrooms Maybe they'll turn into better looking women with the psychedelics? Oh yeah, bring like googly eyes so you can fuck another fad chick and put googly eyes on her ass so it seems like you're fucking three chicks. Two normal sized chicks and then your wife. Those same magical forests that intertwines all fat women. Yeah. You gotta get on their plane of existence where they think they're normal humans.

Right. You gotta see them the way they see themselves Themselves like shallow hell. Yes. Yeah, and I don't know what I don't I'm not a drug guys so I don't know what the concoction is maybe you could tell him but uh Who I Don't I don't know if a drug that will make fat women seem like normal-sized women alcohol Yeah, I think is the only drug. That'll help, but it softens the dick, too. Well, then you can blue-chew it.

Oh, there you go. You pound through some... Definitely take blue-chews. That'll fight through... Definitely take blue-chews. Yeah. Because you're going to get stuck with a woman who's slightly more fat than the one you have. And you're going to feel that heft. Best case scenario.

You're going to feel that heft? Yeah, don't work out that day. You don't want your quads blown out. You have to do a lot of lifting. It's funny, man. Like, you know, people talk about, uh, people talk about, Oh, you shouldn't be mean to fetch it. They're heavier. Like it would be a problem for fat guys. If women were expected to pick us up while they fucked us, you know, and move us around the room, you know what I mean? They don't do that. We have to do that.

You gotta roll them over like a futon, you know? You try to pick that shit up like a futon in the rain. Yeah, like, this is the different tree of fat women. This guy, no, this guy needs like a rocky training montage where he takes a mattress out in the rain and tries to roll it over. Yeah. You know? Dun dun dun dun. Yeah, what do I, what is me being fat?

How does that affect my girlfriend? I'm just a more comfortable seat for her to fuck? Don't don't don't yeah, what do I what is me being fat? How does that affect my girlfriend? I'm just a more comfortable seat for her to fuck Things are closer to death when you're on top of her what they want. No, do they want? Yeah, they like that. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's like in Harry Potter when they when they're pulling the soul out of the face That's me fucking a human woman. Just I'm on top of her just Hotter fucking life force is leaving her body Do some training get yourself going the side of the road in the rain try to flip some mattresses over

Bury yourself under them. Make sure you can get out you can get out. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big one Get a have an escape plan. You don't want to 128 hours it yeah Yeah Make sure you're off. Yeah Make sure you're not you know situational awareness make sure your limbs are in And don't whatever whatever your expectations are lower them and then do it again Yeah, and then do it again never expect anything good because nothing's good gonna happen something might happen though That's the best case scenario something happened was it good. No. No. And also, why not do it for the story? I mean if you live, listen, I'm not being a dick, but if you live in the Midwest and you have a fat wife, this might be your last story.

So, participate. You know what I mean? Like, just get in there. Do something. You know, have something to talk about. Try to get them on both on something that's too small for them. Like a bench that's too, that they're That's cute. Yeah. Like a tandem bicycle. That's where they look like two hippos. Yeah. And if you're, you know, fingering two fat women, don't think of that meme of the two fat bikers, right? Riding your hands like they're riding the motorcycles. One thing I will say is that fat girls are fucking disgusting. Like they'll let shit

into their pussies. They are just, they have like I had a, but I don't the comic that I started out with. Watch today in fat news, the comic I started out with as a dude named Darrell Horner. And I was like, Hey man, you're like six four. You're not a bad looking guy. What's all these fat chicks? And he was like, tell that you do anything. That was his, and I was like, what kind of shit are you? I was like so young and naive. I was like, what kind of shit are you trying to do? And he's like everything. Like, yo dude, I had this one chick.

I was pissing in her face and then I, I flung a shit across the room and I was like, go pick that up with your hands. And I was like, Oh dude, Oh, maybe try that. Bring some of that energy. Yeah. Yeah. Come in hot. You got it. Come in hot. You got to have awful ideas. Slap, you know, pet your domestic violence immediately. Start pissing all over. Pissing, dumping dump on a sandwich up your ass. That's a one that make a meat. Get it. I was like, what's off the table. And he was like, nothing's off the table. I'm like, Oh my God, 50 tons of the way, his sales pitch to me was you can do anything to him. And I said, I'm still not interested. Even as a heftier gentlemen, I'm

still not interested in that. I prefer a woman with, Hey, there are certain things you can't do to me. No, no boundaries. They're kind of like curves. Hey, maybe don't shit you can't do to me. No, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're kind of like curves. Hey, maybe don't shit into my pussy. You know what? I like that about you that you have some limitations. Okay.

Fat watch, the robot engineer plan B doesn't work for more than 50% of American women. If you're over 165 plan, eight doesn doesn't either. Plan B is four times less effective? Really? According to the CDC, the average weight of American women is 170 pounds. With religious nut jobs, banning abortion. Like there's about to be even more fat kids around. Also, if every kid's mom is fat, it could spell the end of the your mother jokes. No, there would be more.

Oh yeah. Those jokes depend on the mom being fat. Yeah, you can't have a hot mom and your mama jokes. No, there would be more. Oh yeah. Those jokes depend on the mom being fat. Yeah, you can't have a hot mom and your mama jokes. Yeah, that would be weird. Kids shouldn't be joking about how fuckable their moms are. Fat is-

We did that though. It's like a friend had a fuckable mom. Actually, my friend had a fuckable sister and we were like, we're gonna fuck your sister. And then I did fuck his sister. How did it go? It was great. It was great. Yeah, she was probably one of the best

because she was the most horrible person. Like if you want a good lay, find a woman who you think is a detestable human being and she'll be the best sex you've ever had in your life. You can't marry these women or be in relationships with them because they're devoid of any emotional connection, soul, whatever, but as shells for your dick they're pretty nice.

That makes sense. Um, gonna need a plan C. Love the Pikey. Okay. Yeah? No, that's true. Um, all right. And Ass Destroyer sends this. I love the Dickiverse of... He's a favorite of the show. Ass Destroyer. Yeah. It's a link to... Female Cops Are a Disaster Get Women Out of the Field. They're not really fat are they? No, but the... No, no, but the commentary of this is hilarious. It's one guy getting wrestled down by two police officers. Women. Women police officers.

Are they black or Latina? They're Latina. They're Latina? They do this thing with their hair that's like a helmet. You're trying to jack the homie. This is what your bitch ass get. Watch out. Can you request women cops specifically to try to humiliate your rivals?

He's definitely doing it. Shit, you know what I'm saying? Pick up a body cam. Drop the pole, girl. Drop the body cam. He's just like casually helping out these women that are struggling for their lives. Earlier he literally said like, hey give me that gun, I'll kill this n***a. Oh you dropped your body cam.

You're literally good at boys. He's just like a helpful but not helpful black. Smoking. Smoking in a f***ing gas station. He picks up the body cam with a cigarette in his hand in front of a gas bumping Chevron. By the way, these are the kind of black guys I miss. These are like East Coast. Mr. Shy City.

Oh, you're good. We're right here live. It's going down like a plane. Car for backup. Shoot your ass. You about to get popped. I thought it was a California plate on a cop car. I got the body cam right here.

He's posing a selfie with the body cam. That motherfucker tripping. I'm gonna take a California plate on a cop car. I got the body cam right here. He's posing himself with the body cam. That motherfucker trip. That crystal meth and all that shit. Is this down the street from me? Come on, hurry up, send backup.

Help these bitches out. Get these bitches in backup. I got the body cam right here. I like that he just looks like they definitely need help, but I'm not going to. Oh, that's illegal. Yeah. Was that a California?

It looks like California It's in the license plate Yeah, that's California for oh man Yeah, that's the relationship we have with cops. What I say it's all Mexican women That's what I said earlier Okay Foul watch the widest women in the world. She says stay healthy. Okay.

Let's see. That's it. That's it. And that's all. Jesus Christ. It's going to be a hot one this summer. So I hope everybody. I think I've seen this one eat a cake off her body.

Water as you need, because it's very important. You guys stay healthy. You guys stay hydrated. Most of all, enjoy your summer. I hope everybody has an amazing summer and I hope you take time to do something small like enjoy the smell of flowers. Enjoy the warm sun on your back. You'll feel so much better. I hope you have an amazing day and always remember you are enough just the way you are because you are amazing No Can I just tell you that I would love to know what quest?

I'm on where I have to go visit her for the next phase of the quest Like she seems like some kind of a map And he got a little like she's like the Oracle thing that you go see his like yeah Just as good as you are you're you're like, is this a human? What am I looking at? Come on, every single video is on this bed, talking about how you're great. Dude, that bed is giving up.

How is this bed supporting this? Cinder blocks, right? Oh, here she's walking around like the Blair Witch. Jesus Christ. Her ass is five feet across? You know black dudes are looking at this like, wood. Look at her arms. She's like, she's her own fish eye lens. Every picture she takes, fish eye.

That's funny. Oh God, click the pizza. No, I want to see how she gets down. Okay, let's see here. Oh, click the pizza. No, I want to see what her how she gets down. Okay, let's see here Oh, she's got six pizzas six pizzas a sensible seven wings They should with my goal. What's her goal death? Oh, don't don't ignore the cinnabuns. Oh Yeah, those are cinnamon E's One two three, how many pizzas is this? Five pizzas wings. Hold on, I'm pretty sure that's some sort of party apparatus that's for like a group of people.

Oh, feederism. She's a feeder. I can't believe we're living in a Judged Dread world. What the fuck is feederism? Where you get off by feeding women, uh, like, until they... non-stop, until they're gonna burst. Like the movie Seven? Yeah. And that's like... that makes people hard. And these women make money.

I don't know if they get hard. I know it's a fetish. I don't know if jacking off's part of it. Is this... but is... hold on though, but is this just like the legal way to kill a bitch? Is that what it really is? Ah, I've never thought about it like that. You know, it's because it's sort of a choice. But is this just like the legal way to kill a bitch? Is that what it really is? You know, it's because it's sort of a choice I'm murdering a bitch for ten bucks at a clip. Oh

Okay Interesting now I have to take a second look at them by the way Do you have any idea what he could possibly like you could beat her amongst all those folds? No one's ever going in there to investigate Like if the police if the police got covered up covered if the police got called yeah, and she goes he beats me in my folds Those are bed stories officer. They would shoot her before they would lift that fucking thing up. I promise you would shoot her before they would lift that fucking thing up. I promise you. They're like, she's her piss bag dude. Show you grocery shopping is like with me. Okay. That's like six months of groceries for us.

It's about a three to four day shopping. Four day. It has a little bit of everything in there. No, it has everything. It has a lot of everything in there. Fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, meat, dairy, little bit of dairy. She just reads like the pyramid. Yeah. Fresh fruits, vegetables, dairy. You know, I'm getting a lot of dairy. Yeah. All right. Yeah. No. Yeah. Everyone knows that the freshest fruits and vegetables come in gray Walmart bags. Only the freshest produce. Like I'm

not like, is that sunflower seeds? What is that? Oh no, no, hold on. It's good that you have me here. Those are honey buns. I know by the font on the box. Right. Right. Right. It's good that I'm here. I bet I could tell you, I could forensically tell you what's in the bags and hands potentially. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Those are honey buns. Those are part of the fruits of the fresh fruits. Honey's a fruit, right? Let's see. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. This is a water. This is a shower snack. What's her shits like dude? She doesn't know. How many feeders are out there? Like chicks who are just who are employed with guys feeding them.

There's a lot of black ones. Are there? You ever seen the black ones where it's like a black lady this size and she's like she's dipping an entire lobster like a crawfish into drawn butter and just like that. I've seen that. That is horrifying to me. And I'm a fat.

Like I can enjoy, I can enjoy like a woman cooking something that looks good or whatever, but like the feeder ism like that kind of shit. Like I just always thought that was like mukbangs. I never knew it was called feederism. Well it was called feederism before the mukbangs. Okay. Yeah, I just always thought that was like mukbangs. I never knew it was called feeder ism Well, it was called feeder ism before the mukbangs. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know like a fetish. Yeah I didn't know about the fetish of it. I just was like, you know, I always thought it was like mukbangs We're like a freak show. Mm-hmm. Okay, that's that's that's all we have for fat watch today guys. Thank you Thank you, Josh stunning. Thank you coming in Goliath. Check it out. Yeah, X

Shall be back next week. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Oh Man oh man oh man You think they're still gonna steal it you think they got enough illegal immigrants in to steal the election this time Immigrants matter. Oh, they're names though. don't think immigrants matter. Oh, their names though. Votes aren't real. Oh yeah.

They're fucking dead people though. They're still gonna steal it though? Yeah. They got enough to steal? Yeah. It's gonna be ugly, man. I hope it's ugly because at least it means we're fighting back at the counting.

Okay, one voicemail, here we go. Hey, I just wanted to leave a voicemail today because ex-president Donald Trump was almost shot. So my first thought was to just hand him the election. Like, talk about unintended consequences or whatever the problem was. The biggest problem was having to do with me too. Anyway, thank you. I'm gonna hear your thoughts. Looks like a self-enfant.

Meet you for sure. There you go. Yeah. Good voicemail. Handed in the election. Yeah, I mean, I think the debate did that already. I think that's why they tried to kill him. That's why, yeah, me too.

I think that debate, that guy said, oh that's why they tried to kill. That's why yeah me too I think that debate that guy said I gotta kill this fucking guy. Yeah Okay. All right. Goodbye everybody. Thank you