The Dick Show - Episode 422 - Dick on B-Dancing

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Sean's kidney stone, I sink a boat, a woman break dancer gets a zero, the UK police start extraditing thought criminals, Susan Wojcicki goes to hell, Kurt Cobain "unalives" himself, a man thinks about feminism, a convention where women pretend dolls are their children, and how fat is too fat if a girl has huge cans; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

How's your wiener? Oh, wiener's good. Yeah, it's good. I could... Blown out. Exfoliate your face from here. Like a... No, you know what's funny?

Yeah? I guess that's what people think is the problem. What is the problem? Most people, I don't think you feel it when it comes out. The uncomfortable part is going between your kidney and your bladder. And once it's in your bladder, it's like, game over. It's done? Yeah, it's done.

You shoot it right out? Yeah. What the hell? I didn't even know. Did you have a little sifter? Like, you're panning for gold just to see how big it was? They were supposed to put, well, I know how big it was because they, you know, they did the, what do you call it?

Like an MRI or whatever. They lied to you though. Yeah, it was- Had the bill, you know? Oh, that thing's big. Definitely. Look at that thing. They say they're between, they rank, you know, between one millimeter, 10 millimeters.

And then I think if you get bigger than that, they've got to go in and do something about it. You gotta go in. But- Through the asshole. Mine was four, so kind of middle of the road. Four millimeters. woof! How do you get it bigger? How can you get a bigger one than that?

Drink more Diet Coke. Did you question your lifestyle decisions while you were passing your kidney stone last week? Not really, not really. No, drink more water maybe? Well, yeah, I was like, yeah, I've been bad about water. You do more therapy or less therapy maybe? Water. Water? Yeah, water's good, yeah, I've been bad about water. Do you do more therapy or less therapy maybe? Water.

Water? Yeah, water's good, but some people are more, you know, I've been, I used to be better. It's kinda gay to have too much water though, cause you're in the bathroom handling your own penis, which might as well be anyone's penis. Yeah, but I always think like, oh shit, it's like shooting like a rock, like a sharp rock,

like through your urethra, but that's- That's what I thought it was. Well, that's what everybody thinks, but that's... I read that on Truth Social. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, isn't that like that? That's, yeah, no, I mean, not for me. Where's your kidney, anyway?

Well, your kidneys are... Right here? Two of them, yeah. The back of your back? Yeah, your back, and that's... And your bladder is where? And then there's, well... Your head, where's the bladder at?

Well, I think it's more, yours may be in a different location, but. Here. Yeah, I mean, I think it's more centered. Okay, so going from there to there is the painful road. Yeah, you can feel it. You can feel when it's moved or when it's moving. What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Does it feel like if you have to take a shit, like you can kind of feel like, oh, I can make it home. No, it's like. But I'm not gonna think that or else my shit will start moving and then I can feel like like the stomachs of a cow you don't want us you don't want to smell the corral and then like your body's like hey you're home you're like oh god oh

god colon starts going oh yeah right let me get the shake the rust off what's traffic okay so you can feel it moving from your, you can feel the kidney stone moving from your kidney to your bladder. Yeah, at first, well it was like... Were you worried that it was going to shred your dick up? Did you ask the doctor? No, because I looked online. Like I...

That's not, that could be anybody's information. I looked online, that's true. But no, well I asked her when... Her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the hell? Was she hot? What kind of a dick doctor did you have?

No, just like an ER doctor. See, here's the thing. I knew, I had an inkling of what it was. I was, I had not gone to sleep that night. It was like, I just couldn't sleep, so I was pissed off, right? Yeah. It was pissed off, it's like three...

It was a dark and stormy night. It's like 3.30 in the morning on Sunday morning, we're gonna do the podcast that day. Oh yeah, okay. And I'm like, fuck, I am not sleeping. I'm like, you know what I need? I need to get up, I need to get up, and I need to eat a big bowl of rice fucking crispies.

What? That's what I need. I don't know. Why? So I went down, I got like, because I was like, okay, then my stomach will be full. I'll be all like lethargic. Maybe I'll go to sleep. What the fuck is this thing you're talking about?

I don't know, I was hungry. It's 3 a.m. I gotta get up and make rice crispy treats? No, no, eat rice crispy. The cereal rice crispies. A big bowl of rice crispies, yeah. Okay, have some warm milk. Yeah, so I get this big, right. You can trouble me for a warm glass.

I was gonna say that. Shut the hell up. So, yeah, so I go downstairs and I'm sitting there in the dark with the coffee table. And I'm eating my rice crusties. Are you wearing like a wife beater and blue boxer shorts? They might have blue boxers. I'm not sure.

Maybe they're black boxers. OK. No wife beater. So I'm sitting there eating. And it's like, it's about 4 in the morning, maybe 10 till. And I feel, I'm like, you know like a a side cramp like if you're like kind of running Yeah, I'm like fuck what the I was like, that's weird. Like huh? Maybe something like has to has to shift It's kind of in my side, but it's kind of in my back

Yeah, I could feel and it's like it's like a little uncomfortable, but I'm like, ah, it'll it'll go away Like it'll go away, but it doesn't really go away. So,. So I'm like, ah, it's getting maybe a little bit worse. And all of a sudden I kind of, I was like, and I had worked out earlier that day, but there was no, I didn't notice that anything had like tweaked or anything. And I was like, usually if you wake up and you slept funny, you're like, oh God, yeah.

But there was none of that. So I was like, huh, just out of nowhere. So my- These damn Rice Krispies, something wrong with these Rice Krispies. Yeah, yeah, exactly there was none of that. So I was like, huh, just out of nowhere. So my- These damn Rice Krispies, something wrong with these Rice Krispies. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He hates these cans. So my brother had one years ago.

And I remember he said he ended up, going to the hospital and he was like, he said he thought like his, like a disc ruptured in his back or something. So he's like, I think I like, I hurt my back or something. And like, I think he said, the nurse said, he's like, this looks like it might be hurt my back or something. And like, I think he said, the nurse said,

he's like, this looks like it might be a kidney stone because you wouldn't, if you hurt your back, you wouldn't want to, you wouldn't move. You would stay in the hospital right away at three in the morning. No, no. No, you waited around. I texted you about six because I kind of saw the writing

on the wall and I was like, if I go. You should have just done the show. You disappointed everyone. I know. And then, well, but it wouldn't have been, it wouldn't have been, it wouldn't have been that much fun. You got all loaded up on Vicodin or something. Yeah, yeah.

And then, you know, powered through it. I texted you, cause I just had this feeling. I'm like, I think I know what this is. And, and I was right. It, but you know, they, they take you in, they're gonna do blood work and then like, oh, pissing this and then they come back and then they do. It's like, there's this, you know, there's a whole they do blood work and then like oh pissing this and they come back And then they do it's like there's this you know there's a whole trying to figure out what it is

It's bullshit fees. Yeah, yeah, yes, but you know you got to make sure it's not something else too, but it's um but yeah for me I know and all I read online was like Was like women over and over saying it's worse than childbirth. That's what I said when you told me. No, I know. Your mom had one, right? Yeah. Did she say it was bad?

Yeah. Yeah. And it was, I'll say this. She couldn't have done a show. I always say like, it was uncomfortable, but it wasn't, it wasn't crazy. Like, I mean, like I got, the doctor was like, she came in, she's like, okay, like, do you need anything for pain?

What did she look like? What did the doctor look like? I mean, like, middle aged, like, maybe, you know, she made, yeah, I don't know. Otherwise you gotta say like, would you give me a minute? I gotta like, you know, deal with this. Boner? Yeah, get this thing going over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, could you come back and? Yeah, give me a minute, I gotta work on some leather. Well, they don't look at your dick. Why not? Well, cause not? Well cuz you got a demand shit. You gotta be an advocate for yourself Not that kind of doctor. So she she goes hey, you need extra needy pain medicine or anything like that

Yeah, this is this is this is so me like it's where it's kind of how I was raised I don't know what it is and I'm like, I'm uncomfortable, but it's not terrible. So I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Like, even though it's uncomfortable, you could take that away. But it's like, until I knew what it was, I was just a complainer in my mind.

So it's like, well, don't complain about nothing. Now it's a medical thing. Yeah, then it's like. Then I can have drugs. Right, right, right, right. Cause I'm just fucking complaining otherwise. That's a sickness. Oh yeah.

But so, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's like, yep. Yep. It's a kidney stone She's like, you know, the good news is it's it's almost to your bladder already that can take two weeks for some people You're sitting like that for two weeks dude off and on apparently and they just send it They send them home with like medication stuff. So mine like I with pain medication and stuff. So mine, like, mine I guess was it moved pretty quickly. You got it, you took care of it quickly. I know you, you didn't wanna get that done with it right away. And I was, you know, I had half of mine,

by the time I got out of there it was late because I had to go to the pharmacy too. And I was like, oh, maybe we'll record the show like that night. And I was like, ah, fuck, like I'm on drugs. How many drugs were you on at that point? I was like, there's no way well that oh well You know the only one that's funny. Yeah, there's no fucking way He's gonna come in like a little bit a little bit of oxycodone. Oh a little bit goes a long way

Yeah, I guess I guess it does like I have extras. Do you have leftovers? You don't need those, do you? No, no, I don't need those now. I drove him back yesterday, gave him my... Right back to the hospital. Here, give me somebody... These are not for Dick Masterson. Somebody who needs them. So that night, I ended up...

I could tell it was moving again, which means I was like, okay, it's basically ready to fall into your bladder, which I'm like, was moving again, which means I was like, okay, she's like, yeah, it's basically ready to like fall into your bladder, which I'm like, that's awesome, right? Yeah, and she's like, then after that. Then you're charged up, then you can blast it anywhere you want. Exactly, right. Like one of those hamster water bottles,

you can keep it right at the tip. Piss right through a drywall. Yeah. Yeah. I cracked the porcelain. But so that night was actually I I was uncomfortable took it took took one of the pills went to oh and the shit that they had me cuz they were like Okay, you got to make sure you can shit you got to make sure you can piss so they give me two things I take care of that normally. Yeah

Okay, so give me so they said so Take these with food, you know, they can make you they make you nauseous Okay, they should have said take with a like seven course meal because like what? No, no, no the those you know anything that's opiate based can make you sick too Yeah, but this was like this was like shitting and pissing pills What and like dude why they made me feel so fucking sick give you piss pills Yeah, cuz they want to make sure that like you're like- relaxative for piss? Everything's relaxed It's like it's what they give people with prostate problems

So they can piss. Okay. It relaxes like you're like your- what you get extra piss out of you or it just goes through easier No, yeah, I mean you get it just flows easier. So everything's more relaxed. I guess like poppers for gay guys I don't know. I don't know your dick. I think they what they call the flow max. I've seen a flow max commercial Yeah, they're always like 65 year olds on the golf course, you know with like with pissed dribblets on their khakis. Yeah But so I was like well fuck that I was yeah So if I was over here all that I probably would have barfed on the that had been even better barfed on the air So I go to bed. I'm gonna cry like Vito. I'm like fuck. I'm like I was gonna do the podcast I'm like dude. I'm gonna throw up if I sit I sit here. I'm like I gotta go to bed

So I text you I'm like sorry, dude. I gotta do it Gotta do it tomorrow. There's no way and then tomorrow I was off on my on your trip on my trip with my family which by the way, very interesting the line between the line between floating prison and family houseboat trip is a very thin line They're very blurry these days. I think you cross it between day three and four That's about the day where getting woken up by an eight year old playing the, you're a big Chungus song on his iPad in your ear at six in the morning at full volume to wake you up.

No longer is a fun family trip, but becomes a Skinner box of torment. Floating Guantanamo. Yeah. Yeah. Verse round four of you're a big chungus. And then and then peeking under the covers. That's for you.

Yeah. Thanks. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I was leaving the next day for my family trip. Yeah. So I can do it. Carl came in and used all the slurs that he knew. Carl. Carl's Potali. all the slurs that he knew. Carl. Carl Spitali came in.

Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. He was great. Awesome. I like Carl. I haven't met him, but I don't think. Unless he was at a show or something. So I go to sleep, I go to sleep, you know, not off, wake up at like four in the morning, and I'm like, I don't feel anything.

He pissed your pants? Oh, it's in your bladder now. It's in my bladder. So you're like, I don't feel anything. You pissed your pants? Oh, it's in your bladder now. It's in my bladder. So you're like, I've got a golden ticket of I'm gonna plunk this thing. It was like it never happened. Did you piss in the shower at least to see if you could see it?

No, I just got up out of habit and just, and took it. Pissed like normal? They forgot to give me the strainers, you know? Ah, you have one in the house though that you could use. It's four in the morning, I have to piss. I go off on my brain's not on. So I just piss, everything's normal, and I've never, I assume it's gone. It has to be.

It has to be. It has to be. So that was it. It was the- You weren't even tempted to piss in your hand a little bit to see if you could get it out. Wasn't thinking on that level. No.

But they do, see, they do like to know because people make different kinds. What? They're made out of different substances. Like Pokemon, like energy crystals? Like, what do you mean? Yeah, so, I mean, I don't, just whatever, there's different substances

that can like solidify in your kidneys, you know? So it's- Maybe for you. So I think there's like four main kinds or some shit like that. Like grape, like purple stuff, Sunny D. Right. Exactly, Mountain Dew.

Like stuff that you drank? Oh, Vito's gonna be sitting on an ugly one then. He might be sitting on a golf ball. He'll be sitting on Mount Mountain Dew. Yeah, could be. But yeah, it was, and then like that day, it was totally normal. I like, you know, I got up, I was like,

I did the podcast and then went and fucking worked out. Like that was like, I didn't feel anything. It was like a day off. It was like a day off. Yeah, you gotta give yourself a day off from working out. It's all the creatine supplements that you're doing. No, I don't do creatine supplements. You're doing something, the trend or something

that you're doing, the testosterone that you're taking. You're not on that AndroGel stuff that the lady boxer was taking. Right. And made her look like a man. You and her look very similar. Do we? You could swap her out. Yeah, Amini.

The female boxer. Did you see that at all? No, no. No, it's not worth looking at. Is it a trans boxer or just, or somebody or a woman who took some serious pharmaceuticals? Just a regular lady that happens to be a little ugly. Yeah. You know?

Poor girl. That can happen. Poor old girl. Poor old Bess. So I actually, I'm not a guy who looks on the bright side, but compared to the stories I've heard, I was very lucky. Because you know, that's The doctor said she's like yeah worse than childbirth. Yeah, I

Conceivably depends on the Past at that very night and I was pretty disappointed and I was like well I'll be funnier if it like if you were still having it right now Oh, yeah, you know, but you'd learn to live with it Well that that is a possibility having it right now. Oh yeah. But you'd learn to live with it. Well, that is a possibility. Apparently it can take,

cause it stops, it goes and said, usually they can control it at home. And it's just like with medication and stuff, and you just have to wait. But I mean, the fact that it moved in like six or seven hours from my kidney to like almost my bladder. And then probably in, you know, 15, 16 hours, you know, to...

Took that long. Yeah. You know, it's a long trip. Well, yeah, but it was fast. That's actually fast. It was a very fast moving stone. Yeah. Well, here's hoping you don't get, you know, another one.

Well, chances are I will. If you have one, chances are you'll have another. Let's take bets on when that's happening. All right, I'm going to play the theme song just because that's the expectation. Oh man. I look like a tomato. I'm the color, I'm day laborer red.

You can go to Home Depot and order that. Yeah! Welcome to XQ1, take it easy, you need it you get this show I'm just a contest coming live from out and barking deep in the heart city failure me hostick mashley gave the winning I'm a man. I mean as always is world-truing LA LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer hello dick. What's up, buddy? Thank you for not killing yourselves Daylaborer red you walk into Home Depot you wanna you say I want day laborer red. And they give you that purplish, quasi-cancer looking color that's usually on the back of Home Depot day laborers. Next, now covering my entire body. I don't know, I mean you look tan to me.

After spending a week at Lake Powell with my family for our quad annual trip every four years. Oh, is that what it is? Where we learn why we only go every four years. You recall last time our boat sank. Yeah, remember that? The boat sank. And then this is all government related. I have to stress.

Okay. Oh, by the way, Race War UK? Which side are you on? Race War UK? Race War UK? I'm not aware. Are you rooting for any side? Race War UK? Race War UK? What do not aware of it. Which side are you rooting for? Race War UK? Race War UK, what do you think?

What do you think's gonna come out on top of that one? Race War UK? Well, you know, I don't know. It's coming. It's coming up in winter time, I mean. UK police says they're gonna extradite Americans. Oh really? For tweeting about it.

Oh really? Okay. I don't know what the point of that was. I guess getting American cops shot was the goal of that one because that'll do it. I'm not up on this. That'll just about do it. We're going to extradite you for those jokes you made. Nah.

White people care about COVID. White people don't want grandma to die. White people don't care about racist jokes online. We'll kill cops for that. I got bad news for you, buddy. You show up knocking on the door. You send Officer Gingercock over here to knock on the door, start hauling guys in for racist comments online.

They're getting killed. The kids are getting killed. That's how it's gonna work over here. COVID, totally understand. COVID, moms at home, wives at home. People love grandma in America. America loves a grandma. America also loves racist jokes.

You put a guy in the paper, this guy killed grandma. Boom, lock his ass up! And we're good at it. This guy said the N-word online. Oh yeah? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Did he call someone's grandma the N-word? No. That black people come up. He calls them, who's grandma did he call the N-word? That wasn't a grandma. He called, uh, actually was an Arab. Ohhhhh.

Ohhhhh. Really? Um, I don't think that's gonna go how they want it to go for them. But it's fun. I like that they're trying. I like that they're wagging their dicks over there. Mmm, ahem, ahem. What is this guy talking about? Blood in the toilet. I like that they're trying. I like that they're wagging their dicks over there

What is this guy talking about blood in the toilet? Oh, yeah, not true Depends on see this is the kind of stuff you're getting that's why you need a male doctor If you got something wrong with your wiener, you got to go to a male doctor. Yeah, you could be flying on Invented information as far as you know, yeah No, she was saying that that's the misconception is that like, it's like, oh God, like it's, you know, when you piss it out is when it hurts. It's like, no, it's rolling along in the little tube between. Yeah.

So we, I was wanting to do a Biggest Problem show last night. Oh yeah. I missed too many of these. I'd like to get back and do one with Vito. I think we'll get back in plenty of time. So you, oh. Cause we're at the lake. We're at the lake all week. I'm like, we're gonna these, I'd like to get back and do one with Vito. I think we'll get back in plenty of time. Wait, wait, so you, oh. Because we're at the lake. We're at the lake all week.

I'm like, we're gonna leave. We only missed a week, right? Was this? I only missed, yeah, I only had missed a week before, but I don't know. Yeah. If I can make it, I'd like to make it. Yeah.

Is my motto. Right. Oh, you got back too late. Plus I don't want Vito to do his show on his own, which he did end up doing. Oh, he did? Yeah, and then he had a copestream after that about what it's about. Wait, wait.

Because he caught so much hell for doing it or something or? Yeah, he kind of asks for it, you know. Vito has an interesting relationship with the fans as you can see. He really does. He smashes their toys and then cries when they buy his stupid comic book that he also refuses to put out out of spite and but he like obsesses over making it good for the people who des- who crave it and gave him money for it who he also despises for putting the obligation of having to produce something that's okay knowing that he will need to exceed those expectations

at a level that it's a very it's a very complicated relationship. Sure, sure, sure. It's funny I mean like I've seen him- He tore up this guy's thank you note. No. That I pieced back together. Yeah. Yeah I've seen him be like combative with- He's very combative. It's like wait a minute like why are you so combative? And then he has these explanations like well the reason you know we're not having a show, and he's like, and they're all people are reacting badly to that. I'm like, well yeah, you're, I mean, you're asking for it.

You're explaining yourself like you're, you know, you're putting them in a position to, to criticize. Giving them a bit of a stick to hit you with. Ah, I said, I said at the beginning of the trip to my nephew, I was like, hey, why don't you go pull that projector down over there so we could watch the Olympics in this bar? I want to see the break dancing thing, you know? Wait, what bar?

I'm with my family, we're at this bar, like pal. Oh, gotcha, you went into- Little one, Bam, but why don't you go roll the projector screen down over there so we could watch the Olympics? And he goes, how about you? Now you say that as if like, that's something that like he's allowed to do. Well, I'm not allowed to do it. roll the projector screen down over there so we could watch the Olympics." And he goes, Yeah. Now you say that as if that's something that he's allowed to do.

Well, I'm not allowed to do it. I'm like, they're not going to stop a kid. Right, but that's what's so funny. Because he, you know, it's like, oh, well, you know, uncles, just said, matter of fact, hey, why don't you go, hey, I didn't tell that kid to do shit! Can you see that ashtray? Can you bring that over here?

That's something that a normal adult would say, you know, in the days of smoking. But like, You move the barbecue down to the street and then it's garbage. And then I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, you know, Hey, why don't you just go roll down that.

That's not theft, you're just taking trash down. Meanwhile, it's something that has to be like, electronically, he's gonna like break the motor by pulling on it. I wanted to watch. Oh, I know you don't. I know. Just wanted to watch.

There's no way it's some high tech shit, okay? It's in Page, Arizona on a fucking lake owned by BLM. Yeah, but you have a huge problem with. But you don't care anyway. No, I don't care. Right. So I say go pull that projector down so I could watch the Olympics, you know, the breakdance. It's a screen. Yeah, it's a screen. And he goes, he looked over. Aren't you gonna have to turn on, you know, the No it's the projectors on! This is! Shuts on the wall? You know what? I have to start all this by saying I'm half in some sort of Indian. Navajo Indian. Okay.

All Mexicans you know kind of are. Well I mean. That's why we don't look Spanish you know. Yeah well yeah. I. It's a blend, for sure. I think a German guy came in and just, and fucked half of the Aztec village that he landed on. And that's where my family comes from. Cause we're all very high and our great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather's white and German. Probably a brewer and a patriot. I don't know.

A bright, bright Sam. He was on the right side of history. He says, I'm not gonna be around here for all this bad stuff. I'm getting out of here. But that about sums it up. That about sums up what they've got going on down on Lake Powell. You got a projector projecting the Olympics into a fucking window, into the middle of nowhere and I can tell it's the Olympics because you've got about a three inch bar going down

that makes up your windows and that's what I'm making out. I'm making out about a half a percent of the viewable area of this. And I can see kind of what's going on enough to know that I want to know what else is going on. And I see that you have a projector up there. And it's on. Shooting through the window.

Shooting through the window. Oh, God. Around outer space. I said, hey, go pull down that projector. Right. I'm trying to teach life skills. Yeah. Well, I got you.

You know? Just go do it. Right, do it. I can't do it. I'm trying to teach life skills. Yeah. Well, I gotcha, you know? Just go do it. Right, do it. I can't do it, I'll get in trouble. Do it. If nobody stops you, do it again. I already ordered beer. If I, before I had ordered this beer,

I could easily do it. But now after I've ordered the beer and I've already been rude to the waitress because I asked for ice water for the table and she put another empty table with ice water before doing us. And I made a comment about that. So now it's too late for her uncle. You're already pre-drunk, too.

I'm already pre-drunk, because I've been up at six. Because... Somebody played a fucking song under your covers on the houseboat. Because that's my dad's clock. My dad's day starts at six. Yeah. Okay? Older people fucking get up earlier and earlier.

Because we got to get out there cause we can get on the boat, take the boat out at five. Yeah. Right? So everybody, we're leaving, my dad says we're leaving our house at six in the morning. I said, all right, I'll be there. Yeah. Means I gotta wake up at five, 15 to five.

Cause I didn't pack the night before cause I was drinking up at five. On the day you're gonna leave? 15 minutes, the day I've never packed before. What's the point? Oh my, no, I mean, you could make it to their house from here at six o'clock if you wake up at five, including packing and stuff.

Yes, including packing. Except they didn't pack my hat, which is why I look like a tomato. We get to the lake and I said, "'Honey, where's my hat?' And she goes, "'Oh, you know what? "'I know exactly to the lake and I said, honey, where's my hat? And she goes, oh, you know what? I know exactly where it is. I said, where?

She goes, I saw it on the table. I'm like, the table? And she goes, no, the table at home. I said, you're kidding me. She goes, yeah, look, she pulled up the security camera. She's like, yeah, it's right there. There it is. She's like, I knew I saw something.

And I'm like, in the middle of the white table is my hat and I put all all these I put These pins on it right the hot dog pin. I was like, ah man What's really funny about that is that hat is a special hat that I had to buy it at a store for big heads So I know I already know that no other hat on earth will fit me. No None every not like every every store everywhere has like hats They all look like yarmulkes on me because my head's so fucking big Which is why I said it looks like a big fucking red day labor colored pumpkin. Plus you have a shit ton of hair

Yeah, but it doesn't help either. No, so I Said hey kid go go pull the projector down. Yeah, you know somebody did half a job here and that yeah Somebody did a job once again, which I'll yeah. Somebody did half a job once again. The projector's on. Which I'll get to. It's got a feed going to it. We can't see it. Someone configured a way that the TV kicks on automatically.

So nobody working here has to ever think about it, but they forgot that one last crucial step, the last mile problem. The last idiot. It's the last competent man problem. In any place, eventually the last competent man will be dead and then there will be no more projector anywhere There will be no more ice machine. No one could fill it up No, I said go over there and roll it down

And in one of those rare moments of like perfect comedic the comedic timing is one thing then you can you you have control over that? But this the timing of silence around you is also Crucial yes, you know that you have to be good But you also have to be lucky when it comes to jokes the holes in the Swiss cheese have to line up exactly Exactly, you know you could fuck all day. You could be the best fucker ever, but eventually got to run into some pussy So one of these these two moments line up and he looks over at that and his little brain, I think he's gotta be like seven or eight years old, I mean he's probably eight years old right now.

Okay. Seven or eight, little fucker. He looks at it in his little brain and he goes, ah, I think I'm being fucked with. And he turns around and goes, oh no. Dead silent, he goes, do it yourself, Chungus. And on the table erupts. I said, Chungus. And on the table, it rips. I said, Chungus?

Yeah. Who's Chungus? Chungus, do you know what Chungus is? No. Let me show you. Chungus is a meme. Uh, it's a fat bugs bunny. Oh really?

It's a huge meme. This, this is the big Chungus. Uh, oh it went by it, huh? Hey, thanks a lot, YouTube. By the way, Susan Wojekie, that is a, that is my YouTube channel. How about that, Sean? Oh, really? Big round of applause. She managed to outlive her husband and her son. Suicide, because his channel was deleted and died herself of aggressive, aggressive cancer. Her account was terminated by God. Who is a good and just God rotting in the fucking ground.

That's Chungus. This is Chungus. Was that ever... who did somebody create? That wasn't like a... Part of an episode. I don't know. It doesn't quite look like bugs in don't know, it's looking like a fucking jerk. It doesn't quite look like Bugs in the face, but then it's like... It's a big Chungus. He's a big fat bowling pin looking version of Bugs Bunny. Gotcha.

That's a really big on the meme circuit. Really? He's a big meme. And people like write captions for Chungus. Yeah, and he goes... What is he, it's always about food, or is it always like... He's just basically like invincible,

and like fat and retarded. So he called you Chungus. It's like about food or is it always like he's just basically like invincible and like fat and and Retarded so he's like fighting than us Do it yourself Chungus. I said what who's Chungus? He goes that's you I said, what do you think? I got a look to shut up. I know what Chungus is you don't know what Chungus is What is what do you mean Chungus? I don't know what Chungus is. What do you mean Chungus? And he goes,

Oh, no. I said, oh, no. All that I've built. Has turned on me. Oh, my empire of dirt. Oh, and everyone started laughing. I'm like, oh no. Oh no.

Everyone was suddenly paying attention. Oh yeah. Oh, so then every day I wake up to fucking Chungus song played in my fucking head. The covers of six in the morning. Does he text you every once in a while? Will he text you shit like that? Like, Hey, how you doing today? Chungus. Chungus. Get that started remixing it. He called me Chungle for uncle and Chungus and then he explained it to me.

I'm like, man, it's awful when they're creative. Oh man. So. One of my nieces is like that and uses it for evil. You know, the other one uses it for good. Like, you know, one day someone's going to get you. I'm going to call you something. Well, it's a.

I don't know what yet. It's a, it's a. It doesn't exist yet. Right. But you will be called it. You have to deal with it like I did today. Yeah. You're going to, right? And they I did today. Yeah, you're gonna, right? And they'll be right, just as you were right today.

So- It's the way of things. It's the way of men. Yeah. It's the way of men. This is true. So last time we were there, you remember the, you might remember that our boat sank.

We woke up one morning and- Yeah. boat sank. We woke up one morning and Yeah. Our boat, we woke up one morning, looked out, the boat was sunk and there was all sorts of issues. No, wait, because you rented like a ski boat, right? Yeah, we rented a ski boat That's the one that from the people who don't know how to put a projector down,

which turned out to be a mistake. Everything except the drain plug. Yeah, because as it turns out- I can't remember, why did it sink? What was it? The bilge pump was broken or simply turned off. Why was it taking on so much water? Well, it was taking on a normal amount.

I mean- That's a lot. I mean, it depends on how- There's a leak. That's why. Short answer is there's a leak. So we're out again. And you know, keep in mind,

this is the last memory we have of being here. Because the national parks are run by, I found out later, Googling up a storm on the way home. And last night, the national parks are all, they're all owned by BLM, right? The government owns like the western half of the United States. Yeah, they own all the national parks.

And they've given it over to this company, these various companies who are all fraudsters, scam artists, hucksters, like the worst of- They've hired people to run them? They've hired people to run them. Yeah, I don't know about this. Or they've given them over to companies to run them into the ground, basically. Because there's no, you know, capitalism here. There's no incentive here for anybody to be any good at anything. Good, yeah. There's no incentive here to get ice water or a projector screen.

There's because you're the only one running this because we can't just sell, we can't just, you know, sell half of this land and have it interact like the rest of America, which is great. It's just these parks which are run like shit, right? Because the government's running it. So we're out a couple of days into the trip when the, you know, when the fucking, I don't know what it is, that gnawing feeling of familiarity creeps up on you. And with it. It's feeling, you get the family,

yeah, the itch of contempt, right, that everyone, after the third day, with people you love and know your whole life and are familiar with, the itch of contempt starts, and it's like, everyone starts getting a little twitchy, right? So we're driving back, we're driving back from a lovely hike,

and somebody goes, I think there's something wrong with the boat. Oh no. And the- Wait, the boat, you have a houseboat, right? We're all in the houseboat. We're all eight of us in the houseboat. And you've got another ski boat behind, like-

No, just us in a pontoon boat. Big pontoon boat that we rented from the same people who rented us the boat that sunk. Got it. Okay? Got it. Fool me once. Right. Now, are you, sorry, are you taking this pontoon boat

around with you on the houseboat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Houseboat is parked. Okay, so that's, are you taking this pontoon boat around with you on the houseboat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Houseboat is parked. Okay, so that's- We're taking the pontoon boat. You can go out and cruise and you don't, yeah. Yeah, we can go on a nice hike that we've been to a million times.

Got it, okay. You know what the greatest, this was funny too. My dad wanted to go on this hike that he's been on since he was a kid out to this thing called the Rainbow Bridge Monument, which is like a giant stone arch. Yeah.

And he asked about it one day and then the kids threw a fit and he asked about the next day and he said, yeah, let's go do it. Let's all get in the pontoon boat and go out to this Rainbow Bridge natural arch, right? Yeah. And the kids were all pissed off and I swear to God, my instinct and I don't know how to put it

into the words correctly was like yeah fuck you you guys have Been getting everything this whole time now you're gonna have to sit and go on a fucking hike full-on haha, I remember what it is to be you and I'm Savoring right you're miss. Yeah, no switches on board. Oh you guys gotta leave that shit here You're in it right now. Now who's waking who up at 6 a.m.? I'm gonna wake you up on that boat, motherfucker! I'm gonna spit sunflower seeds in your fucking face!

Now who's the Chungus? Oh, we don't wanna go on a hike! And I'm coming in, I'd love to go on a hike. Hey, everybody, let's go on a hike. I'm like, I don't even fuck about a hike, right? Like, I don't fucking care, I've seen this thing a hundred times, but I'm like, I wanna go, cause you. I don't even fuck about a hike. I don't fucking care. I've seen this thing a hundred times But I'm like I want to go cuz you don't want to go Your your will your will and instinct to punish severely outweighs your your want for comfort

And now I'm thinking Is that how my dad felt when I was a kid? Like was all this stuff so enjoyable to him because of how much I fucking hated it and wanted to be home playing video games I don't know doing all this shit like just to spite me and now what now what does he feel right? What is this transitive? There's this transitive game of cup checking. There's this general game I would imagine your dad felt really really proud. Yeah, my son like oh, yeah Your dad felt really really proud. He said, my son. I was like, oh yeah, let's get on the phone, get your fucking shoes.

Oh, you better not be in that switch. Let's go fucking hiking, dude. Oh, it's gonna tell you better put some sunscreen on. Oh yeah. I don't have to put any on. Yeah, yeah. Skin cancer is the least of my problems. Did they, did anybody get pissed at you? Uh, they were complaining the whole trip.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you make fun of their complaining? That's always fun. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. But they're still funny. Fuck man. The younger one probably can still, they never melt. As long as you're not saying Chungus, I don't care. Keep complaining about this. They never melt down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in other words.

So we're coming back from that lovely hike. All eight of us, let me see, one, two, three, four, yeah, yeah, in other words. So we're coming back from that lovely hike. All eight of us, let me see, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Yeah, my girlfriend, my parents, my sister and her kids. And her husband. And we're getting close to our little bay where the houseboat's parked. Yes.

And somebody says, "'I think there's something wrong with the boat. Yeah. And we all look over, it might have been my sister, she goes, I think there's something wrong with the boat. And out of that, you know that hatch in the middle where all the life vests are? Yeah. It's totally full of water.

Oh, God. Spitting, spitting water out. Like as we're going. Really? When it hits and it's full of water, water hits and it's in there and it goes like sprays out. Oh you're on it and you're going. We're on it. We're going. Yeah you're cruising back to got it. That's a bit odd huh? Yeah that's a bit odd. Get into neutral and look at it and as soon as we get into neutral the engine

starts going. Oh God. Dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep in mind, the last memory we have of this lake A sinking boat. Is a sinking boat. So me and my brother-in-law look at each other like, huh, my sister hears the engine going out. She goes, looks around, she goes, she thinks she's on the Titanic or something. She goes, get in the life jackets,

get in the life jackets! Right? Yeah, meanwhile you're, yeah. So kids don't have the life, the one time in their lives where they're not wearing a life jacket. They're like, get in the life jackets! Right?

Screaming, I'm like, oh no. So immediately the kids start like sobbing. Oh really? The little ones, the little chungus ones that's going, whoa, you know. She's scared the shit out of them, Ever-loving shit out of him. Like you're in a lake. Like you're in a lake. There's like, there's like, this lake is full of white people. Yeah. This isn't like a migrant rape gang. You're gonna be in the water for about 35 seconds

before somebody pulls you onto his... But like, I'm like, I'm looking at it, I'm looking at the water coming in and I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, I could get my hat, I'm going to get my glasses, right? I'm definitely getting my water, my water jug, because that's a that's a gallon size Yeti water jug that I like filling up with liquor and taking up to the hill. Those are expensive. I'm just like going through like the items that I'm going to keep. I'm like, ah, I'm going to I'll let the towel go. I'm just like going through like the items that I'm gonna keep them like, ah, I'll let the towel go. I don't care.

I'm not analyzing it from the point of like, oh, I don't know if these kids could swim over to like, I'm pretty sure I could float over there. I don't care. Right. So we're like, okay. I don't know. My brother-in-law starts bailing out the boat

with one of his coolers, his Yeti bag cooler. Okay. And I'm doing pretty good at supervising that. And a guy came over on a jet ski and then went to go get his dad who came back, some rich guy. Yeah. He's like, well, you guys can come over to my boat

and use our Starlink, right? Yeah, yeah. This is like a movie where they're like, oh no, no stay for dinner No, no, we're barbecuing. Oh, that's what I wanted. They won't they won't let you leave I wanted can I just hang out on your you guys have a five million dollar like Lake yacht over here Yeah, we got like they're like in boats breaking down. Can I just again? How about we don't call for a minute and see what I see? Yeah, what happens right right? All right So he brings us some gas like sometimes like going to prison is way better than than you know Then what you were dealing with before so yeah, even if it's terrible is probably better

So I get on his boat on his ski do he's like yeah, come on You know just hop on and come over Woman do this So I kind of had like my pinkies hooked into his light. I don't want him... We had been going... He started going and we're going. I'm like, whoa! Like, right? You gotta look for something to grab on behind you. I tried that. Yeah, but there's nothing there. But I'm so fucking fat that I'm like, my ass is spilling over and the whole time I'm hearing that stupid Chungus song in my head from the Minions is, as I found out

what it's from, you're a big Chungus. Nowus Now that song stuck in my fucking head now. I have the song making fun of me stuck in my head So I get on the ski do it the silver Fox Apparently some kind of boating you know a millionaire right yeah, yeah, I at least plays one on TV Oh, yeah, I mean, at least plays one on TV. Okay, man. All right, I guess I'll just like, uh, kind of put my... Sit right here, and maybe I could hold myself up on the thing, and he guns it, and I'm like, whoa! And I grab on, I grab on to him, but like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, middle of the lake right like whoa and I'm gonna fall back and I grab on and then I'm like oh you know yeah trying to laugh it off and I say I say oh I'm getting we're gonna get real comfy huh and he doesn't laugh like oh man he's

like yes yes we are I'm like holding on to him like real comfy so we go and get some gas and try that first and fill up the gas in the boat and It was out of gas because we're carrying around Because we're carrying around 40 yeah, we're carrying on me, Chongus and like 40 50 extra gallons of water because the bilge pump's not working This is just totally broken. It's totally fucking broken. It's totally fucking broken again It's broken a fucking dead right fuel gauge like I mean it was it not working It said there was a quarter of a tank left And we had way we started with way more than enough gas but the goddamn boats full of water

Well, you're getting shit. We're at right no shit. We're out of gas. You're gonna go through it faster. Yeah So it's out of gas so of're gonna go through it faster, yeah. Huh. So it's out of gas. So of course it's our, you know, huh? You guys didn't get enough, what, you didn't get enough gas at the harbor? You know, what are you guys, dumb? You guys went through it together, you didn't fill up a gas, yeah. I put 50 gallons of fucking gas in it. That should have easily, unless it's getting 0.8 miles a gallon, it should have been fucking fine, right? Right.

Now, when you're doing math, you've've lost if you ever find yourself in an argument doing math right right getting theoretical here yeah yeah well in theory I should have been right not well the boats sinking in the water kids are getting screamed at like they're on the Titanic so it's so it was right it's it's yeah we're not we're not having a good time did you bring the did you bring the pontoon boat back to the brought it back? Exchanged it. No, no, you can't you can't cuz it's so far. It's so fucking far away. We're like, well, we're leaving Leaving tomorrow. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, tell it back if it's full of water. Yeah, who cares?

So the next day rolls around like clockwork six, you know my dad Up in the morning Right six in the morning. Six in the morning, maybe five thirty. He's like, we're going to be out here at six. Yeah. Takes two hours to get back to the dock. We load up the car. You get home by six in time to do your precious gay little podcast with your fat friend.

Like, all right, that's unnecessary. Yeah, it's a little yeah. Right. Yeah. Not in front of the kids here. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like you have a friend that's fatter than you. So I'm like, oh, cool. Not in front of the kids here. Yeah, right. Yeah. Like you have a friend that's fatter than you. So I'm like, oh cool, okay, that sounds like a good plan. This is the only time in my life

where I've supported your initiative to wake everyone up before dawn. Yeah. To go literally anywhere. Right. No, Lakers game is on at nine. We gotta show up early to get good parking. Everybody be up at five in the morning.

So everybody's up next day. Tie the boat off. Say, all right, we'll pack on the drive back. It's two hour ride on the houseboat back to the marina. Plenty of time to pack. We get the boat out of this little cove and start and begin the journey. And I say, hey, I'm gonna, how about I pilot the boat out of this little cove and start and begin the journey and I say, hey, I'm going to, how about I pilot the boat?

You know, you guys have a lot of packing to do, right? Right. Right. So I grab it, sit down, engage the throttle, hit it down and immediately it goes, like, ah, RPM's on one of the motors. Starts spiking all over the place. 6000, 6000, 6000... There's two motors in the back, right?

And what are they? They're like inboard, outboard? Like, stern drives? Like, can you raise and lower them electronically? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. But, um... So, left motor dies. Oh, good. Oh, wow, okay. Awesome. That's cool.

Well, we kind of have no choice. I guess we're just going back to the harbor with one engine. Yeah. And you know, is when anything mechanical or engine related fails, it's just you turning it off, turning it on, and then people yelling at you like you're not doing it.

Right. If there's a way, if there's a way to look at a rock correctly, my dad knows what it is and I don't. Yes. Okay? Yes. That's the... Got it.

That's my experience, right? I understand. What are you doing? Looking at this rock. Ooh, could have fooled me. Okay. Yeah, you know where those rocks are from? Just looking at it.

I'm not trying to figure out where it's from. Well, I'll tell you where it's from, and you're not looking at it correctly. You gotta look at it from this side. My dad would yell at you for not looking at it correctly, but he also does not know how to look at it correctly. But that doesn't stop him. There's no incorrect way to look at a rock!

Oh, there certainly is, I can assure you. That's how, I'm institutionalized today. Today's the first day in a week. I've been drinking every day. Today's the first day I'm drinking for me. Oh, there you go. And not other people. Yeah.

You know, every day I'd wake up without a hangover. I'm like, wow, I must've been getting someone else drunk last night. That's amazing. Not good. So we're going back. I'm turning the engine on incorrectly. You know, my fault in the first place,

cause I sat down and turned it on and, why'd you rev it so high? Right. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I'm stupid. You, it's, people always- Cause I thought it'd be fun to- Always look for somebody to blame

when something goes wrong, cause it's aggravating. So it's like, you must have done's like you must have done something you must have done something yeah I had it all the way up to fucking 20th I thought this was like a Tesla man what do you mean? Ludacris speed what do you think? yeah I actually carved out that little notch that stops it I fucking whittled that shit out with your pocketknife so I can cram it so I can cram it in fucking farther my first thought was that like the like the stern drives were out of the water We're like raised up. No If it's that kind of setup it's like blue board outwards. It's just fucking blue because

Everything works for about ten years. You got to throw it away. No matter what it is. Dude boats They're constantly fucking boats. They're brutal. Yeah, you know they think things Shit breaks all the time. It's a never ending, like replacing this part, replacing that part. So. So it takes us about, what should have been two hours takes about six. We get within shouting range of the, yeah, the Marine.

We're getting lapped by all these yachts going in one by one, passing us. Reversing. Going about two miles an hour. Guys are doing loops around us. Guys on like, on houseboats that are about 60 years old, going by one after another. And the worst part is, you know, once they get there,

they're getting in line to get all their shit driven up to their cars. So every guy that passes you is another, is adding another five minutes. Right. So the mechanics get on there. Nice enough to send a mechanic. And the mechanic says, how fast were you going?

I'm like, not fucking very. You're about to be chief punched in the face there, Navajo Joe. What are you? And this is the last day, you're saying. This is the last day on the way home. So it's not like he's gonna fix it, you're gonna go back out there.

You just suffered the- And the other guy jumps on it and goes, oh yeah, the last people that took this boat out, they ran into a rock. So we swapped the engine out with another boat. And I'm like, you're telling me that you took a motor that's probably 15 years old in the water attached to a boat and swapped it with it?

Like, you know that, has that ever worked for you? Well, I mean, how bad was the fucking motor that was in there? A rock, they ran right over a rock, fucking destroyed it. Wow. And your solution was to just hot swap it? That doesn't work. Just so you guys know, that doesn't ever work. It sounds like it should work in your mind.

Yeah, but you gotta... It doesn't though, you gotta buy a new one. There's gotta be a lot of testing and stuff, you know, to make sure that that works. Because when you're pulling it out, you're wiggling and jiggling a bunch of shit that's not meant to move like this. It's only meant to move like this.

You're slinging it around, throwing it in the back of trucks, and you're fucking it up. You're taking it out of the water, busting up all the seals. It's not how it fucking works! And then, so we parked that, I take the other boat into the other guy. The other drop-off place. I'm like, yeah, your bilge pump's all fucked up. He goes, oh yeah, you gotta jiggle it.

Oh my god. I said, hey, why wasn't that in the orientation? The jiggle it. Oh my god. Hey, why wasn't that in the orientation? The jiggling it. You guys got a whole orientation video about how be careful riding the sea dude because water will shoot up your anus or vagina, but you don't have anything about jiggling the exposed wires for the pump that's in the sinking boat.

You should add it. Yeah, you know, like like Congress saying hey Boeing just make sure you instruct your pilots to turn off the engine deicer after five minutes so that it doesn't fucking ruin the structural integrity of the nacelle and then it fucking grenades sucks into the engine and causes the plane to crash make sure that's the solution. Make sure you just instruct the pilots they can't run it for more than five minutes. Since they changed to fucking some carbon fiber instead of, instead of fucking metal

like it was before. Yeah. Like, I mean that's just one of the many things. That's the fix. You gotta jiggle it. You gotta jiggle it. It's at the highest level. Why would it be any different?

Why don't you write, don't jiggle it. The government says it's okay for fucking Boeing to do that. That's the fix. And that's the whole- Jesus fucking Christ. So I get back and I start searching for like, hey, what happens in a boat when this? And the first example is like,

I rented this boat at like Powell and it was, and it's showing a guy, it's like the geyser of water shooting out the boat. And it's like, oh yeah, the guy that owns this marina, oh, it's like the Navajo Indians, like $20 million in back tax. It's like, oh, okay, I see dollars in back taxes like okay. I see now I got I got it. I got it

Good times. Yeah, it's great times. Wow was fun You never think a boat's gonna sink twice bad luck with boats. I Do that's like that's like three fucked up boats in two years, right? I do and I the the the the pontoon boat was fucked both times, and the houseboat was fucked this time. Yeah, it was fucked. Man, there's nothing, if you haven't driven a house at two miles an hour,

one inch and back, then you really haven't lived a highly reputable time. God, that must've been... Oh my God. And I tore my goddamn arms out of my socket trying to kneeboard with the boys in the day one. Kneeboard? Who the fuck kneeboards? I don't know. It's like a low impact, like low risk way of wakeboarding. I have not seen a kneeboard since the 80s.

They're coming back in a big way. I mean, I'm not surprised. So I got up, but I think my brother-in-law was trying to be nice to me. So he was keeping the boat at like 10 miles an hour. But that means I'm like dragging 250 pounds of fucking failure. You need to get up on the plane. I need to get up on top of the water.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, oh God. Oh God, Jesus Christ. And you're doing it behind a- I'm gonna rip my goddamn tendon off again. You're doing it behind a pontoon boat, right? Yeah. And not meant for that, you know?

Maybe he had it- Not meant for anything. Maybe he had it floored, but you know? Oh, very funny. I mean, I'm just saying, those things probably don't go a whole lot faster. More chungus shit. A whole lot faster. Yeah, we crashed it into a rock, so we swapped them. You can't do that.

I mean, should have definitely been a- You guys gotta get some capitalism in here. This BLM shit, this Amaraq shit, or Aramax shit, whatever you guys have going on, running this land, is not working out. Well, yeah, I think the national parks, everything I've heard, they've gone way down. Way down. Way down. This is trash.

All of this shit. You guys are watching unburnable trash. Hasn't everything gone way down? Like everything is trash. You guys are watching unburnable trash. Isn't everything gone way down? Like everything is worse. I can't even blame this one on DEI, which is the worst part. I don't know what's... I'm in uncharted waters. You know? It's DEI's fault.

So it's a marina. There's no black people here at all. Well... Women, perhaps? I don't know. You fucked it up somehow. Okay, let's get to the race wars. Oh boy. So that's the last vacation I'm taking for a long time.

Between Chungus, boat problems. I woke up at six in the morning today hearing the fucking Chungus song in my head. So now I have to go look it up. Let me find it. Chungus Minions 4. Or 3 maybe. Oh so it's the latest Minions or? Is that the latest one? I don't know.

Big Chungus. I can't believe they made more than 3. Big, big Chungus, big Chungus, big Chungus. Is this it? I don't know. This doesn't sound like it, Sid. This doesn't sound like it. No, this is a PS4. This is a PS4.

All right. Despicable Me Chungus song. Yeah. I was going to say, they would have probably written a catchier song for likeus song. Yeah. I was gonna say, they would have probably written a catchier song for like a movie. Right. Right? I mean, that's... Despicable Me 3 or Despicable Me 4.

God damn, YouTube. How come it's never what you wanted to be? No, I know. Never. Because they fucking... people title shit all fucked up. That's why Susan Wojcicki's burning in hell. Because of this shit. Because she made this whole system. How many people did she kill

by limiting COVID information, Sean? Probably millions. Oh, I don't know. I don't know, but he was able to find it right away. Oh, okay, let's see this race war stuff. It's heating up. Yeah, yeah, talked about that. Did you know the UK has riot compensation insurance?

I did not. Riot compensation insurance. You can purchase insurance in case of riot. You don't have to. No, no, no. If your stuff gets messed up and you didn't have insurance, you just file and the government will pay you. Oh, you mean... Your money.

Well, then what's... So you don't have to pay a monthly or anything to... That would be thinking it through, yeah. I mean, where's the... I don't know. I don't know. Here is... Here's... What is this?

UK government that you think before you post. This is the Crown Prosecution Service. What are they? They're the... They're like the prosecutors for the government. They're the Crown Prosec... They're like the prosecutors for the government. They're like the DA. Okay, really? Like Dan from Night Court. I mean that's what it's, that's what that seems like. Yeah, prosecution. We prosecute on behalf of the Crown. Yeah, think before you post. Content that incites violence or hatred isn't just

harmful, it can be illegal. The CPS takes online violence seriously and will prosecute when the legal test is met. Sure. Remind those close to you to share responsibly or face the consequences. Share responsibly if you're online. Share responsibly.

Okay, let's watch it. Oh, good. Is it... Am I fucking up the audio? Is there no audio? If you're online, share responsibly. Okay, let's watch it. Oh, good. Am I fucking up the audio? Is there no audio? No, we were just listening to audio. I guess there's no audio. Well, maybe it'll come in. Odd meme format, you can be,

oh, they just say the same thing. Oh. Okay, hatred. So they just put what they said to a video with no- That is ridiculous. And then the government, the UK government said, think before you post. Wow, I can't imagine that. Hey, why don't you go ahead and think

before you express yourself online. I mean, I wish people would, but like, you know, that's fine for you to say. You don't need the government to tell you that. Yeah, that's kind of like declaring war on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think about what? I hate you.

Okay, let me see if I got the guy who says, the guy who says that they're gonna come for us, extradite us. What's going on? Okay. England police say they will extradite and imprison Americans over social media posts. The race warship's going insane over there.

What? Yeah, see, I'm out of the loop. I've been actually busy all week. What's going on? Well. What's going on in the UK? A couple of crazy, fringe right wingers are upset that the government has moved millions

of fun, Islamic fundamentalists. I say fun, I mean fundamentalist Islamic. They put the fun in fundamentalism. Yeah, jihadists. But the jihad's against, you know, the devil. So that's cool. I mean, you know. A couple of right-wing guys are upset by that.

Yeah. And they've started protesting. So that's cool. I mean, you know a couple of right-wing guys are upset by that. Yeah, and And they've started protesting and really and stuff and burning down I think they're burning down migrant hotels that they're building. Oh And I think they might have threatened to shoot construction workers that work on the migrant hotels. Oh, geez We will throw the false force of the law at people. And whether you're in this country committing crimes on the streets or committing crimes from further afield online, we will come after you.

Talk to me about that, because we have seen some high profile figures whipping up the hatred. You talked about it in there with the officers, in fact, about this being added to by online commentary. I mean, I'm even thinking of the likes of Elon Musk getting involved. What are you considering when it comes to dealing with people who are whipping up this kind of behavior

from behind a keyboard, maybe in a different country? Well, you can't do shit in a different country, you're a dipshit. Being a people would warrior does not make you safe from the law. You can be guilty of offenses of incitement, of stirring up racial hatred. There are numerous terrorist offenses regarding the-

Wait, living abroad? Not living abroad, just being another citizen in another country. Okay, right. Yeah. Good luck. Publishing of material. All of those offenses are in play

if people are provoking hatred and violence on the streets. Is he saying Americans living in there? And we'll come after those individuals just as we will physically confront on the streets the thugs and the yobbs who are taking, who are causing the problems for communities. It's on, man! It's on! It's on! It's on! Good times.

That's the EU, right? You're in Poland, somebody can hit you. If you're in Italy or whatever, somebody in their government can hit you there. UK is no longer part of the EU, right? Yeah, but they're getting it all together. I mean, they're getting, Kamala Harris is gonna get in there. Then they're gonna have one big anti-hate task force. Everyone will sing the Chungus song. With reciprocity.

You can say the Chungus song to men, adult men, but you can't say anything else negative about anybody. They'll come after you. That's what they want, right? The amount that we're hanging on to, being able to say whatever you want, is fractions of a percent at this point, even in America. Oh, the amount we're hanging on to anything

that resembles what we want it to look like is... I have to email my girlfriend for another beer because my phone's out of batteries. Oh no. Let me see. What were you gonna say, the fraction that we hold on to? No, that's it. I mean, we're hanging on to... We're hanging on to being able to pay rent by fractions of a percent. We're hanging on to We're hanging on to being able to pay rent by fractions of a percent. We're hanging on to being able to hang on, you know, to our jobs by a fraction of a percent.

Where it's... Sigh. Because they will say, yeah, well, it's, we're extraditing you. We can extradite people for murder, so why not hate speech? Yeah, right. Yeah. Well, but the... Surely you don't want to help, like, murderers and racist murderers and racists, right?

So they're saying they're going to extradite, like, the Americans back to America to face trial? Same thing. It would be the same thing. Yeah, yeah, but that's what I- like, I wasn't sure what- he's like, if you're living in another country, I get the, like, citizenship thing. Being behind a keyboard won't protect you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Citizenship won't either at some point. I mean, that's the goal. I know that's the goal. I know you people.

I know these people. I know that the goal, I know that their goal is to shut me, people like me, normal people, up permanently and not be made fun of. I know that's the fucking goal. I know that's everyone's goal all the time. 90% of people. Thank God half of them are fighting the other half Thank God everyone always says oh, they're they're making us fight

They're the elites are making us fight each other so we can't stop them But actually it's a fucking godsend that everyone's fighting each other so they can't thank God They don't have someone some small group that they can both team up on Thank God that they agree one side's like, well, I hate racists. One side's like, oh, I hate that you're making fun of fat women and trans women. Like, okay, good. Keep fighting that fight.

For God's sake, don't ever agree. Because they're going, because they're just, they'll be wiped out. What were you gonna say? Uh, I don't remember. I don't remember. Wow, that was a quick email. E-O-M.

Okay, I've got a, oh yeah, this is a good video. That was probably a minute and a half. This is a good video from the riots. Oh yeah. This is a lady cop getting involved, protecting British citizens. Oh no. Oops. Sorry. I got it. British citizens. Oh no.

Sorry. I got it. You'll see this is a group of this is a group of migrants who are fleeing a foreign land of oppression. Here, see all over. Is that what they are? Those are migrants?

Those are migrants. Here, see? All over. Is that what they are? Those are migrants? Those are migrants. Califatey, a little bit califatey. They're in the streets rioting. They're in the streets spreading, you know, cheer, Christmas cheer. And this is a lady cop here.

This looks to be a British man over here. And she's making sure that the British man doesn't, you know know molest this giant mob of foreigners in London. Here, see her? See her leading the Brit away? Here's the mob attacking him. Damn. Oh. Oh. What the fuck? I don't think a woman should be doing that. Call me crazy. Call me a misogynist, I guess. Get the boxer out there.

She can do it. Yeah, right? Let's do it. Yeah, right? Let's see here. Yeah, yeah. The world's gone fucking crazy. Here is, oh yeah, this is the guy that got locked up. This guy got a 38, 38 month prison sentence for saying mass deportation now. This is a-

Set fire to all the hotels. A UK resident. Yeah, full of the bastards for all I care. If that makes me racist, so be it. And I think he was posting this. I read, I think he was posting it because he was trying to show that he wouldn't get in trouble for posting this. 38 months. And they found that out. That's the reason they went over. It's like, oh, no, he thinks he can beat the system. Oh yeah. You're going to expose the hypocrisy? I don't think so. Yeah, we're not hypocrites. You're going to jail, buddy.

I don't want him looking like a badass in front of his friends. Mm-hmm. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of people just celebrating like, you think you're tough now? Right. This is Jordan Parler. He may think he looks hard. He looks hard in this picture. But he's just been jailed for 20 months for calling for people to smash the fuck out of a hotel

in Leeds for housing refugees. That's like basic free speech. What, to a? Smash the fuck out of a house in Leeds, housing refugees. I don't think that's basic free speech. Oh yeah. What to encourage to, I don't, I think you can get in trouble for that even here.

Where you, we have- No! What, to encourage to? I'm pretty sure you're not supposed, yeah. There is such a thing as incitement of violence. No, unless you're planning it. The incitement is, kill that guy right there. Kill him. Yeah, I think, I don't think it's that cut and dry.

He blew a raspberry. Matter of fact, I know it isn't. No, you can absolutely say, hey, let's burn all these fucking migrant hotels down. Burn them down. There's a defense for that. It's like, well, I was speaking figuratively. Like that's what should happen.

Like I wish they would explode. You know what I mean? Like that's a, it's gonna be, there's gonna be an argument on both sides I think we're I think we're losing the point of what well no and we have and there I'm sure they're Free speech remember you don't have it. He got it right He got what's his account dang it got in trouble for fucking teaching a pug to raise its paw. Yeah, that's Pug doesn't know no, you's, I've never. Pug doesn't even know. No.

You know. I've never heard of that happening here. They do have the smallest nose of any. No, yeah, they can't breathe, the fucking things. No, there was a, fuck, I can't, I don't know it off the top of my head. Somebody got a ticket recently for saying the N word here. Oh God.

Yeah, it was something really weird. But I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say I'm pretty sure you could say, you could do any sort of encouraging or condoning violence that you want in America. Huh. Encouraging. Incitement is a very specific instruction

that has a direct cause of harm. I don't agree with that, but I think that's the law. Yeah, well, and they're going to really inspect the details closely, how something's worded, how something is, you know, that's a partial quote. You know, like, I want to see the whole thing. Well, I'm looking at that guy.

I don't think he's, I don't think he's like, I don't know, like I want to see the whole thing. Well, I don't. Well, I'm looking at that guy. I don't think he's I don't think he's like, I don't know, Patton. I don't think he's leading the charge against. I think he's running his mouth. I've re handled pistols. You know, then I'll take him seriously. I don't want the government to be in charge of like deciding whether or not, hey, kill him, destroy him.

Is he meant it or not? There's plenty of people. There is blowing smoke, you know, is he meant it or not? There's plenty of people, there is blowing smoke, you know, where it's like, how many times do you, are people who say shit like that gonna follow through? Like virtually never? Yeah. Like virtually never. Maybe there is something to like specificity,

like, you know what I mean? Kill this guy at this address? We need to, that's going to be against the law in- I'm fine with that being illegal. specificity like you know what I mean? Kill this guy? Well it's like yeah. At this address? We need to, that's going to be against the law in. I'm fine with that being illegal. Any country. Yeah I mean you know there's gotta because somebody. I don't think that's true though.

Some stupid people are gonna listen to it. I don't think that's the way it works just because somebody stupid might listen to it though. I don't. I think you have to have a direct involvement. I don't know. I guess I'd listen to it though. I think you have to have a direct involvement. I don't know. I guess I'd have to see cases. Yeah, encouraging.

Yeah, I don't know. Certainly like burn down the government, burn it down. I hate it, burn it down. That's kind of abstract. That I think you'd get away with. Yeah. I think you'd get away with that. Yeah.

Okay, so like threatening the president is illegal, right? Because he's... We all know that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's what I mean. And that's an exception. So you can say that about anybody else, but you can't say that about the president. I don't know about anybody else. You can say I hope someone kills like Alex Jones. Well... You know, because he's a bad guy. You could say that. What, but what if it's, you know, what, what does it, how far does it hold true for secretary of state? Does it hold true? I mean, I think that's all illegal.

Yeah. Uh, I don't think, I don't think it is. I think the president one is, I think you should be able to say whatever sort of violence you want about- Oh, I know what you think you should be able to say. I was talking about what is the law too. So literally-

I think this is legal in America. So it's like the president. This right here maybe because he's saying smash the fuck- I think the president is the exception is what I'm saying. He's talking about a specific hotel. Smash out the hotel and leave the housing. According to them because remember they don't finish the quote. So it's like-

No it is. That's what he's talking about. He's talking about a specific one. I don't know. And I think their laws are probably more conservative than ours. They're whatever we want. They're ours. Yeah, I don't know what you did here.

We're throwing you in jail. He's talking about a specific migrant hotel. Yeah, I don't know if that holds water in this country, but I'm pretty sure that you, it's not, I'm gonna pretty much guarantee that if you say you should kill the president, that that's illegal. But if you say, kill the vice president, oh, that illegal, but if you say kill the vice president, oh that's fine.

I think that's fine. Yeah, no. You don't think so? No. People are talking about killing Rand Paul all the time. What about Trump? Wait a minute, people are saying that bitch, what's her name? That lady, that redheaded lady, she looks like an old catcher's mitt.

Oh yeah, oh yes, yes, yes. I'm pretty sure you can say kill... uh... Trump all the time. But she held a... She wasn't saying... A severed head. She wasn't saying, we need to kill Donald Trump.

That's a little bit... That's what I mean. ...splitting hairs. Well, no, but words mean something. There's no way everyone in America who said kill Trump has been investigated by the Secret Service. There's no way everyone in America who said, kill Trump has been investigated by the Secret Service. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. There's no way. No, no, because it's been said millions of times, right?

I mean, yes. There's no way. No, for sure. Kyle Gassopy in prison. But could it be? Well, he said, no, he said, don't miss next time. Like, I'm saying it's a case by case, right? Like, he's not saying like, I wish somebody,

I wish somebody who was a better shot would go out there and take his head off. Yeah. I think that's kind of a problem with case by case. Either, however way you slice it, they're locking a lot of guys up for saying stuff online that we could easily say. We could easily say.

Yeah, for sure. That's crazy. We could easily say. Yeah, for sure. That's crazy. Okay. This guy. It's not gonna get better. It's a great picture. Here's a GoFundMe thing. The lady boxer is suing everybody

that said she was a man. Oh really? Is this Olympics or something? Yeah, let me pull her up. See if you think this is a man. Yeah. Imani. Well, look, doping in the Olympics

or doping in sports or whatever, they're not doping tests that they're given. They're IQ tests. Oh yeah, this isn't about doping though. This is about being a man. Yeah, but it's like what I'm saying is, she could be a woman and just have an incredible relationship with pharmaceuticals and completely not be caught. Oh that's true!

Happens all the fucking time. That's true! This is what she looks like. They're saying that's a man, they're sure of it. Guys are fucking... Really? Well, they thought she was trans. Everybody got roped into thinking she was trans. And then it turned out she wasn't trans. So now they're all like pretending that they really care about like gender disparity and boxing. She... Oh, one gold. Go, go.

Look, obviously, she's hugging another man. This is no... Yeah. Oh, one gold, go. Obviously, she's hugging another man. This is no, does this look like a man to you? Jumping on another man and hugging him? I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. That's a woman. She just be- This obviously is a fucking woman!

The outlier of, you know, women have varying, she have a lot of testosterone for a woman too and you know. You had women's sports and you're saying that women, they're like kind of on the edge of like Genetic shit or are playing in it Wow I can't believe that they're the best. Why'd you separate the women from the men in the first place then? Oh Cuz nature. Oh cuz of nature. Oh man. It's so fucking crazy. Yeah confusing how that happened Yeah, I'm so fucking perplexed by it

Susan Wojcicki's now this is interesting interesting, online harassment. Like, who do you... A legal complaint, so that's not a lawsuit. She filed a legal complaint. What are you supposed to do about that? What are you supposed to do about that? How does that... Because a lot of people were saying they know she's a man because of like tests that have been run.

Keep in mind, being a man and doing what she's doing is very illegal where she's from. Like Algeria or Turkey or something. Should be put to death. If she was trans, doing this, death penalty. They take their sports very seriously. More seriously than me. I don't know, I'm for it.

Remember that kid that was smirking at that Indian guy and everybody said he was a racist and blah Blah, blah, he's just super uncomfortable like he's got some fucking weird guy Who's is like a performance artist basically like a lawsuit artist like this guy's just like like what do I do? Like it yeah, that's he sued he won a bunch of money I thought that was good like you guys are lying about him on purpose. They defamed him basically. It seems the same to me. You all said she was a man. You didn't know. You made up all this shit about having tests.

What do you mean who? One was like a news outlet. Every conservative news outlet. Tim Poole is a conservative news outlet. Yeah, yeah. What I'm saying is online, is she is a conservative news outlet. Yeah, yeah. No, but what I'm saying is online, is she filing a complaint against France for what private citizens are doing?

Or are news outlets going, she's a man, she's a man? What's the difference? Well, because you've got, one is supposed to be held to a standard of reporting the news. Like, what I'm saying is, like, can you sue somebody for just making, you know, it's like just making fun of, she's filing a complaint, are they supposed to go, hey, all you guys in this housing project,

stop making fun of her. Well, you only have to go to the big ones. Like CNN, you can't sue any random jackass for calling that kid a racist. So what is this leading to? Lawsuits, I hope. I mean, she filed a legal complaint in France for online harassment after a reign of criticism.

So it's just a bunch of noise. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. So she's mad at just people who are nameless and faceless and anonymous. I don't know, let me see. I didn't read it. Uh, Lee coming from France, I don't know how to read it. Her lawyer said, uh, the complaint was filed.

Online hate speech, uh, looks like against nobody. Well, that's what I mean. Cyber harassment. To open up investigations. I don't know what investigations mean. I mean, you know, the IBA, the International Boxing Association got involved and said like, Yeah, yeah, we we know she's a man. How do you know? Ah, you know, wait, what? What? Man, this is how do you know nothing about this? This is a whole thing for weeks. This is all anybody

cares about about the Olympics. Is this guy winning women's boxing gold? What, the IOC? Got an official charge for the IOC's unit for filing a complaint with French authorities. So somebody for the Olympic committee, there's these death threats, harassments, huh. Yeah, I haven't watched, do you know, I watched about 15 minutes of ping pong one day.

Me too. That is as much of the Olympics as I have watched. I really don't like the Olympics. Me either. Like really at all. And I'm so pissed off they're coming here. Me too. Because it's insane already.

Where are they doing it here? Everywhere. All, where they doing it here? Everywhere. All over. Who the fuck knows? Yeah, I mean, it's gonna be... We gotta find some way to fuck the people over. We gotta get out of town for like a month. Yeah, sell them something, defraud them, or harm them in some way.

In 84, so it's been like fucking 40 years, I think. It's miserable. Um, okay, let's see, Kurt Cobain. Kurt Cobain? Yeah, Kurt Cobain is in the news again. Oh, I should do a guitar talk. Okay. Well, no, I mean, that just reminded me.

Okay, let me get this thing up. My real photo, my friend just sent me from the Nirvana exhibit at the Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle this is called the 27 Club and the The plaque says Kurt Cobain Unalived himself come on now at 27

Come on him in the same company of other artists who passed at the same age under tragic circumstances such as Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and blah blah blah. What? Unalived himself. Who? John Michael. John Michael, I don't know. I don't know, what country is this in?

This is in Seattle, the country of Seattle. That's the... What do you mean? Wasn't, wasn't Morrison also 27? You would know, I don't know. I mean there's... I don't know who they're talking about. I think Amy Winehouse

was probably more famous than... Why am I... What do you mean more famous than what? What are you talking about? John Michael, a last name that I can't see and I don't know? You don't know who that is? No! 27 Club Last name that I can't see and I don't know who that is No, let's see 27 Club John Michael what I think Robert Johnson died at 27 to

John Michael Basquiat. Oh, yeah, wait painter. Oh that puff 50 cents said See so it's not even about music Supposed to be though. Oh, they just know they just like I don't I don't fucking in a black guy They had to put in a black. I don't feel bad at all for not knowing that Yeah, I know this cuz not even a little called somebody else a gay painter. Oh god, which he was fuck So it's like yeah, okay

If only Kurt Cobain was alive to see that. That he unalived himself. 27. Yeah. The ads are perverting language. So it's unrecognizable. Unalive. Because you can't say suicide. You can't even tweet the word suicide. It's becoming the N-word.

Unalived is just, I'm always gonna think that phrase, that word is funny. It's fucking- Silly. It's so stupid. Yeah. Kurt Cobain unalived himself at 27 with an unalive gun. Right. Okay.

I think they, they did a, they studied, you know, is there, because there's some really big famous deaths in music at 27. So they go, oh man, why does everybody die at 27? It's like, they really... Like Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Yes, yeah. They really... I think they found that 32 was more common than 27. Oh, really? But it's just the names, there's some big, big names at 27. So people are, oh, the 27 Club, you know? So... Oh yeah, here's that free speech survey I was talking about. You got a survey?

Yes, I love surveys. I know. This is how much of a thread we're hanging on by. You can pick... Oh yeah, I don't care about that. Surveys for who's most supportive of hate speech laws. Would you favor or oppose a law that would make it illegal to say offensive or insulting things in public about,

and this is the percent of people who think it should be illegal to say offensive or insulting things about, and it's races voting on races. I got it. Okay. So if you say so the first group black people I guess they win an alphabetical order. I don't know why they put black people at front. Do you think it should be illegal to say offensive things? Well because it's alphabetized I don't know. Yeah. African Americans, Latinos, whites. About white people. 41% of black people

said it should be illegal to say offensive or insulting things about white people. Right. Okay. So yeah. I don't believe that. Uh-huh. What do you think it's lower? I think more than 40% of, I think, I think more than than 59% of black people has said insulting things about white people. Well, I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. I would bet my balls on it. I think they're hedging their bets because they know the next question is going to be what about black people? And I can't change their answer.

Okay. The next, yeah, okay. You think it should be illegal to say offensive or insulting things about black people? 62% of black people said yes. About Latinos, 53% of black people said yes. So, one out of five black people said no on the white people question and said yes for black people. Yeah, you shouldn't be able to say offensive things about us.

And then when it said, how about Mexicans? They said, half of those said, yeah, you can go ahead and say that shit about Mexicans, of course, right? Yeah. 60% said illegal to say offensive things about our race. Yeah. Okay. Right. Mexicans, it's 47% said it should be illegal

to say offensive things about white people. Again, where are you finding these minorities? You're telling me if I went down the street and found just a random minority, there's a 50-50 chance they would say it's illegal to say something offensive about white people? Support it to be illegal, right? Yeah. So if I went down to fucking Compton and found a guy working bench pressing in his front yard or a guy selling him tacos and said,

which one of you thinks it should be illegal to say offensive things about white people? One of them would say yes? What? They'd be like, man, who gives a fuck? Exactly! Exactly! Where the fuck are these minorities? These are people who agreed to take a survey.

Where did they- uh, fucking Berkeley? Where did they find these minorities? No fucking way! Well, people will answer how they think the other people think they should answer- Yeah, clever. Like, huh? Of course, yeah. Well, I don't think- Gay? I don't wanna be-

Gay? You know, offensive. Gay? I don't wanna be thought of as racist. Like, I mean, what ins- What? What ensures that anybody's answering anything honestly? There's no fucking way they understood this question!

Hey welcome to the Home Depot Arena. Yeah, tonight's going to be a great game with the LA Galaxy and the San Antonio Gultures. So just a quick show of hands, how many of you guys in attendance, how many of you hombres and amigas in attendance thinks it should be illegal to say offensive things about white people? Half the whole fucking stadium raises their hand! No! Among whites, 26% say it should be illegal to say something offensive about white people. Death? What happened? What happened to you? What do you think the question was? Should it be illegal to say something offensive about white people? Hey you, white lady or man?

What do you think? Are you fucking high? I so don't care. You mean you personally? Me personally. About saying offensive things or about this survey? About like if I hear somebody say something like offensive about white people, it just makes me laugh. Yeah, illegal what? I just, I don't know, I just think it's funny. What's wrong with these people? Yeah, we do kind of do that. Or insulting things. Yeah. Okay. But then like, black people, a higher, much higher percentage of white people answer that should be illegal because, I mean, what's been the hot, the hot button over the last A lot of- Sure.

Yeah, twenty, okay, thirty-nine percent of black, thirty-nine percent of white people say- Think it should be illegal to say something offensive about black people. Yeah. That's a very big jump. It's about half more. Well, it's a big jump black people. That's a very big jump. Yeah half More well, it's a big jump. Yeah, and then Mexicans right People are like well, you know, right?

Max I gotta say yeah, but you know Yeah, I don't know Dark as black people so like black. Yeah, so kind of in the middle right right This there's a that's not a, that's, there's- That's how they're thinking. I, I know. As a white person, I know. White people and black people can both agree, like, well, you know, Mexicans are kind of

in the middle, so, it could be a little bit more illegal. Yeah. Mexicans are the only ones that are, Mexicans are the fucking worst, look at this! You should be illegal or offensive to say insulting things about Mexicans. Latino, 65%! Goodbye, America! That's it! Can we have some... Oh yeah, give us all those guys. Send them in.

Yeah, you need to talk to your people. These are very high numbers. Hey, what up, chico? What up, carnal? By the way, it should be legal to make fun of everybody, right? I totally buy this. I totally buy 65% of Mexicans think it should be fucking illegal to make fun of Mexicans. Well, there's a... They're way more hot-headed than black people.

Way more. Yes. I think so. Well, I mean... Their moms are just scarier. Look, I mean, they, they make the most exciting fighters in the world, man. Like that's there. They are a hundred percent believe that that was that these are, are accurate statistics. The great Mexican fighters that are, is like wrapped up in the macho culture over the years. So

fucking entertaining. Great fighters, always exciting. They're not there to fucking play defense. No. 65% of Latinos think it should be illegal to say offensive things about Latinos. And 59% of Latinos think it should be illegal. Yeah, so, you know, we'll be the UK in no time. No point. All I know is I want to be extradited somewhere. I just want to be able to use

that word in relation to myself. I'm being extradited? What? What do you want to be extradited to? Oh, I don't know. Some island by myself. That'd be great. Like Napoleon? Yeah. Go to like Elba? Yeah, did he go to... is that where he went? He went to Corsica, didn Like Napoleon? Yeah. Go to like Elba? Yeah, did he go to, is that where he went? He went to a couple. Corsica, didn't he? Yeah. Which one did he die on?

I think Corsica, but I'm not sure. Did you see that movie? No, I haven't seen a Napoleon movie. The one with Ridley Scott? Oh, he directed it? Yeah, he died on St. Helena. Oh, St. Helena. Oh, St. Helena. It was good.

Really? Yeah, it was fairly recent, right? Yeah. Wait, who played Napoleon? Joaquin Phoenix. Oh, okay. Yeah, I can see that. Okay, Patty says,

Dick thinking someone with XY chromosomes could have a uterus? Maybe the brain damage is really starting to set in. Wait, what? They can. Everyone is picking on me because I said the fighter is a woman. Oh. That's how, if you have an XY chromosome and like androgen doesn't turn you into a man in the womb, you become a woman with a fucked up chromosome. Well, and there's also XXY. Yeah.

I think it's called Kleinfelter syndrome, I would say. Yeah, that's what happens. Then you become a big bruiser, maybe, but you're still a fucking woman. Well, and if you didn't- Testes and ovaries start as the same genetic material. They change when exposed to testosterone. So like, that's ovaries, testes, start from the same genetic material. They change when exposed to testosterone. So like, that's ovaries, testes, start from the same thing. So I mean, all kinds of shit can happen

depending on the levels of hormones that you're exposed to as you're developing. If you look like a guy growing up, oh, shocker, you got into boxing? is that so we're at a point now where conservatives are telling me that You need a like gender gun that analyzes your chromosomal DNA At least an MRI Connect connect I use the bathroom they're wearing a dress like no Yeah, why cool cuz of the penis and all the guy stuff like okay, okay, and the lady Well, hold on. Let me get my gender identifying fucking DNA. Well, they got a vagina and a uterus. They're pregnant Well, hold on. I gotta see if there's any sorts of chromosomal anomalies going on here

Like really so for the whole history of the human race. We were just doing it wrong until now Is that what you're telling me? It's fucking stupid We were just doing it wrong until now. Is that what you're telling me? It's fucking stupid. Trey Dog, I've been waiting for Call... Gibberish. I've been waiting for some dick to find that big fat bike chick. I see her constantly. Did you see that?

No. Yeah, it's a fat girl that rides bicycles. And blogs about it. We were talking about it last week. It's pretty funny. Are we gonna see this? Yeah, I'll look for it. Mongrel, that was an amazing episode. Please bring Carl back with Sean.

Okay, I will. Woman alert, call me rhinestone cowboy. Hey, Dick, I was at- Woman alert. Woman alert. I was at a Jersey Mike's and I overheard a man arguing with his wife about her sub having meat in it She was saying her sub didn't come with meat. He said that it did What do you think? What do you think she's ordering? And they don't have

They don't have the sub in front of them yet Jersey Mike's they don't have this getting it off the menu They're getting off the menu. She says it's a vegetarian sub. What do you think she was ordering? What was she ordering? I'm trying to think of Jersey Mike's menu. We're going to the Sean side of the table. We're at Jersey Mike's. Danny DeVito is the ad man. I know, she ordered some kind of a cold cut.

The man says, because it's cold! Right? Yeah, sure. We'll do that. Survey says... Can I find the other family for you? Some kind of it's cold Can I find the other family there's no way that's right Wrong sound effect Okay Sorry, that's wrong. Okay. She was ordering she was ordering a cheesesteak It's a it's like a steak, but the steak is made out of cheese cheese you idiot that's no meat in this It's a cheese day on that's hilarious

That's fucking hilarious It's a cheesesteak no it's right in the cheesesteak meeting that I thought you're eating meat yeah meeting that it a cheesesteak. No, it's right in the cheese steak. It's meat in that. I thought you weren't eating meat. Yeah. It's meat in that. It's a cheesesteak. It's like, no, it's steak. It's steak with cheese over it. It's like, no, it's a steak made from cheese. It's like a really thick piece of cheese that's cut like a steak. Yeah, and colored like a steak.

Yeah. Brown cheese. Duh, idiot. God. It's the onlyuh, idiot. God. It's the only one that fills me up. Otherwise, I gotta eat six or seven of the vegetarian options. That's funny. Sidwin says, Tiffany Hennier, Mayor of Dalton Village. Girl bossed her way into being a mayor

after seeing how shitty she is. They successfully recalled her, but the courts overruled it. Oh. For the past two years, she's been lining the pockets of cops and spending a shitload of money. Let me see that. Uh, okay. The town went from a five million dollar surplus to a three million dollar deficit. No, this is um... Where's it?

Dalton Village. Where's that? I don't know. Oh, Chicago? Oh, no shit. Chicago fucked things up South suburban Dalton Wow, huh? Okay Yeah, well Serves you right oops Riz Chandler

woman alert a crossfit athlete Crossfit athlete left to drown while lifeguards watch and tell the spectator trying to save him to get out of the water. Okay. I agree there was... Okay. No, I agree. There was two lifeguards right there. The one lifeguard, because somebody actually jumped in, and the one lifeguard came over and talked to him and told him to get out of the water, but he said, listen, somebody's drowning. She ended up going over

to where he went under, but she just did a quick paddle around and then just paddled back out. I feel like at that point she needed to blow a whistle and stop the event because you could have had a lot more help in there pretty fast and that was only like a couple minutes after he had gone under so at that point something could have been done. So she's just like, you know he's got no reason to stop the race or anything right? Baywatch like totally gave those guys tenure. They can do whatever they want. Like lifeguards, they don't do anything, do they?

I wouldn't think that they- Some have saved people, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure, but I wouldn't count on it. Most of the time it's hanging out at the beach, I think. Yeah, I think that's what it is. I think it's just like somebody to sit there and make sure bums are not sleeping on the beach, I think, you know? Yeah. I think that's what it is. I think it's just like somebody to sit there and make sure bums are not sleeping on the beach. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Sukosuto Olympic break dancing. Is that an event? Yeah, it is this year. Okay, I'm not surprised. Pretty good one. This girl scored a zero, I think.

Oh no. Which is a first for Olympic break dancing. Here's her routine. Australian Olympic break dancer, Rachel Gunn, has a PhD in break dancing and dance culture. All my moves are original, she told reporters about after her performance. Okay.

Wow! She's pinwheeling her arms? Look at that! This is special Olympics, right? Oh! Now she's wiggling around on the ground like a worm Is there more of this? Let's see here Rachel Gunn Rachel Gunn Ray Gunn Oh Break dancer, okay. Okay. Here's the whole routine. Oh shit shit. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Here's the whole routine Oh shit shit sorry sorry sorry here's the whole routine

Australia breakdance athlete ray gun Rachel gun absolute best moments, okay? Still pretty loud again She's doing like a putting her her crossing her feet. Now she's twisting her arms up and doing like this back and forth. Oh my god, this is the worst shit I've ever seen. I could do better than this. Yeah, yeah. She's got her head down in like a downward dog position. Now she's doing Larry from, or Curly from Three Stooges spinning around the ground.

She's dancing like a bunny. I gotta know. What does that person's head feel like? What is being in that person's head feel like? Nailing it. Like she went- It feels like nailing it. She went straight out and fucking did that in front of the world.

That is- They don't have any black people in Australia. That's why she got away with that. Well, they don't dance like that. The Aboriginals? I don't think so. Maybe. A little more tribal than 1980s New York City.

You know what I mean? Man, they used to have, like way, way back when break dancing was kind of becoming cool. They would have in a club They would have guys come in and do a little performance Yeah, and even a second of that was more competent than oh then that oh Practicing in the street like Cirque du Soleil guys Yeah, they throw fucking like flattened cardboard boxes down on the ground Yeah, like so you're not doing it right on the, you know, gum and fucking substance covered sidewalk. But yeah.

Seamen and fentanyl. Look at that. That's I've never seen that move done. I've seen that move done a million times that hand down and it's twirling around and standing up. And I've never seen it this awkward looking at fat. Look at this. Now full disclosure, I can't do this.

I think you could. I think with, if the Olympics were next week, I think you could put together a better routine. Okay man, well. Oh. Ah. Ah. Ah.

And they gave her a zero. Oh man. Feels like you're trying to start a truck, like a big tow truck or something. A tugboat. Because obviously she felt like this was an Olympic worthy routine. Has she killed herself? I mean, if they gave her a zero, there's no bigger slam than that, right?

I mean, you can't be telling... I think she got a zero. Like, here's what we think of this. Nothing. I mean, that was somebody. I mean, the other somebody I mean the other somebody else you were on no no these I Thought you said zero, but she didn't even score a point Wow okay, she didn't even score a point from any of the judges she says my dance moves were original I mean, I thought she has a PhD in this but I also don't know why Barat Truth would be lying.

So I mean, who'd- Okay. Uh, I did hear it though. I did hear that. As a judge, can you give anybody a zero? Yeah. Can you? Yeah, you can.

Has it ever been done? I don't know. I mean like where the per- where or at least where everyone- Let me see if that's true. I have to know. Breakdancing, breakdancing, zero score. Uh, an Australian bee girl known as Ray Gun? Dude, this is like when- you remember when Futurama did that breakdancing episode? What's a fucking B-girl? Breakdance girl? Breakdancing girl? Oh no.

Known as Ray Gun, who did a kangaroo dance and scored zero points. That was what that was? I thought it was a rabbit. What a fucking piece of shit. Fuck you. Australia's true? Australia's true? Ray Gun offered mental health support after online.

It's like, no, I'm fine. I thought I loved to break dance. I thought it was good. They're like, no, you're clearly fucked up. You got to go to a mental institute, dude. You're not thinking about kill... We're taking you to a therapist who should explain that you should feel like killing yourself.

And then when you do, we're going to be there for you to make sure you don't. Oh boy. Yeah. I wonder if this was... But come on. Who let her fucking do this? FBC New York why are you saying bee girl? What do you mean bee girl? They want to be hip with the kids. That is not hip with the kids. No. They... come on. Breaking, better known as break dancing, nah not really. It's not on the program for the LA Olympics in 2028. That's too bad.

Look, she got through multiple checkpoints to get there. Somebody at the metal detector should have stopped her. They're like, oh you're in the... TSA should have stopped her. You're a bee dancer? I'm gonna check your asshole. The breaking community wants the world to give B-Girl Reagan, no, her name is not Reagan. You don't get to have that name when you're being like that. B-Girl Reagan, a break.

Remember when Fry was a break dancer and it was like making fun of, I don't know what it was making fun of, but it's like that. A B-Girl Reagan, a break. As the Paris Olympics wrapped up, the sport made its Olympics debut in Paris. It might never be back. She's a university professor? And one of the last images was the performance of an Austrian.

I was really excited about the break dancing actually, because I know what break dancing looks like, and it looks awesome, you know, with guys flipping around. I was thinking a guy would like flip into some shoes. It's impressive. Who did a kangaroo dance and scored zero points. Give those judges a gold medal. You know, they're people, right?

All three of those judges gave her a zero. They gotta get a firm handshake after that shit. If you interview any of them, they'll probably just be like, well, I mean, like there wasn't an opportunity to give her a point. Like it said that it had to include this. That's like, she just went out there and I'm sure they'd have a reason for like, I could not award any points.

We got to learn that. I got to learn that routine. If it's out there in its entirety, like the Napoleon Dynamite dance, in a show of support on Sunday, the head judge of the breaking competition said 36 year old, ugh, pre-menopausal university professor, Rachel Gunn. That's a wordy sentence.

Was just trying to be original. And the Breaking Federation says it has offered mental health support. Breaking Federation, is has offered mental health support Breaking Federation is a man ever been offered mental health support cuz he fucked something up so bad break dancing. Oh my god Was Bill Buckner offered any mental health support? No, Mike Tyson. Well, he would get bit Holyfield's ear off? We gotta get you some mental health support, bro. He would get letters, uh... Kill yourself. Buckner was like, yeah, exactly.

There you go. This is the 80s. That's the wage gap. This is the 80s. And the Breaking Federation says it has offered mental health support in the wake of online criticism. Breaking is about originality and bringing something new to the table and representing your country

or region head judge Martin Gillian known as M Gability said is this a joke right well so this is not the head judge this was not the judge who judged that that was not the panel of judges this is a head judge because obviously he's like yeah he's he's backing her so it like, I didn't give her zero, right? He couldn't be one of the judges. I loved that shit she was doing, that was stupid. Yeah, I don't know what the judges were looking at, but I was looking at a 10 routine.

This is exactly what Raegun was doing. She got inspired by her surroundings, which in this case, for example, was a kangaroo. You're fucking with her. Inspired by her surroundings like what do you mean? No, if she was inspired by her surroundings, she would do like an Eiffel Tower. What are you talking about? She's from Austria She didn't see a fucking Okay, well, I mean her up

Time to make I know so she's drugged went out and you really take a lot of dancing with ruse She was on that like any input on that No, I'm just doing it in like a... Did you get any input on that? No, I've seen it. She's just doing it in like a... People couldn't... In the garage? This is when... In Australia.

This is when people need to hear the truth. Like they... You just... I saw your routine, it fucking sucks. Yeah. Blind praise is not good for anyone. She's divorced, just sitting there, you know, nailing her routine.

Just going to work at a fucking kangaroo sanctuary the rest of her life. Got it. Out there just, she's going to be like, she's going to be like, you know, like, what's his name, Kevin Costner, and he turns Indian, you know, like he's about to dance with wolves, like just leave the world behind,

just going to go out and live with the kangaroos. This has been a really good Olympics for bullying women really yeah multiple American women athletes got called men Cuz these guys are like they're just fucking crazy about men and women sports But you know, but there's not enough men doing women's sports. So they just made it up But this is hilarious that I think this woman's a man Back in the 70s, dude You should have seen like the East German and Chinese female swimmers

But like yeah, but I mean it was like then it was like the whole like transgender wasn't really on people's minds It's just like oh, they're just taking a fuck ton of male hormones like it's cheating. Everybody was pissed off about that, too But this is just women who it's like yeah Something got kind of messed up in your off about that too but this is just women who it's like yeah um something got kind of messed up in your DNA yeah she's in the like 1% of women who are yeah but but you have you have a lot of male you've got a lot of male people don't like that people are gonna be really upset by that breaking it's all about originality and bringing something new to the table. Oh yeah, I already said that. Yes.

For example, was a kangaroo. The breaking in hip hop communities, quote, definitely stand behind her, he added. I just can't believe that we're writing stories on this kind of stuff. I can't believe break dancing got so fucked up. I can't believe break dancing is in the Olympics. Why did they let a 36 year old white woman do break dancing? You didn't have one black lady? That should have been zero on general principle.

Yeah. 36, white, would you ever see me in the slam dunk contest? No! That's the fucking same thing! Yeah! It's the same thing! Come on, you can, look, you know, you know it's not gonna go well.

See, if like, because if we see like a fencer, like if a guy comes out and he's fencing, he's like, like this, I'm like, I don't know if that's good fencing or not, I've never seen any fencers before. Yeah, but if somebody comes out breakdancing, I think I've seen breakdancing. That is fucking dumb That looks bad. I've seen breakdancing on commercials. Look, I've seen it in movies. I've seen it on the street. Anybody can identify what it's not. I know Cirque du Soleil. That's where you fucked up Okay, we have five criteria in competitive judging system

and just her level was maybe not as high as the other competitors. G. Glippity says. But again, that doesn't mean that she did really bad. She did her best. She won the Oceana Qualifier? Against all the Samoans and shit. What was the Oceana?

Thailand and Samoa, where they're too fat to break dance. I mean that's all Australia. That's Australia. That's yeah and that area like so well like what's what's Oceania? Australia. It's a yeah yeah it's well Australia and I think the surrounding islands it's that it's that region like that. You think she like fundraised to get to the Olympics like oh I gotta go. Well I got a really good routine. What was the how deep was the field? You gotta get Chris the Olympics like, oh, I gotta go. I've got a really good routine up in here. What was the, how deep was the field? We gotta get Chris the Kiwi on to talk about this. We gotta get Chris the Kiwi on to break dance.

I'll give him a thousand bucks for a break dancing routine. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Unfortunately for her, the other B girls were better. Man, I hate break dancers now. Sergey Nitronov, General Secretary of the World Dance Support Federation said they've been in direct contact with Gunn

and Australian Olympic team officials. Oh my God, they really don't, they really don't want her to kill herself. Yeah. Right? That would be so bad for the Olympics. Yeah. I mean. They already had a bunch of women beat up by men. They see it coming so they removed the whole event, right? So they're like...

You killed breakdancing globally. Yeah, we can't... because if somebody sneaks by and this happens again... It's not a global sport after all. We can't have blood on our hands. We offer the support of our safeguarding officer. How bad would that feel if you like, you did your break dancing, you sucked, but you got on TV, you got a zero, right? You're like, well, I knew I wasn't that good. I'm just doing it as a scam to be a PhD. That's the thing. And then the Olympics committee keeps hitting you up going like, you're not going to kill yourself, right?

Yeah. Hey, we have, we're just going to check in on you every couple minutes playing along and try to get like some free shit or something yeah that's true that's sure make appearances make appearance and then right right who knows maybe maybe maybe she's totally fine with it she's like yeah I know I just like a fucker I wanted to see how far I could get I know maybe she's really yeah because they haven't said anything about maybe her routine is awesome they haven't said she's really, yeah. Cause they haven't said anything about- Maybe her routine is awesome.

They haven't said anything about quotes from her or whatever, right? Like they haven't said anything about, you know, like I'm just really, you know, I'm just- Yeah, people hated, I don't know, Manet, who's the sculpture guy? Armut, who is that? Who is the ready-made sculpture guy?

Is it Manet? I don't know. You know more about art than I do. I gotta look it up real fast. Not Monet, Manet. Duchamp, Marcel Duchamp. Oh, Duchamp, yeah. I don't think they really hated him though.

I think that's part of the... Everybody has to pretend like, oh, they hated this artist. It's like, ah, he's just some cocksucker. Yeah, gotcha. We offered the support of our safeguarding officer. We are aware about what has happened, especially on social media and definitely... They started like taking all the videos down, so it's impossible to find.

We should put the safety of the athlete, in this case, mental safety, now... In fr- Now... In first place. In first place! You got a gold... Baby, you got a gold in... Gonna kill yourself.

These quotes are- You're the MVP of this Olympics for suicidal ideation. It's not quite funny enough to be a satire article, but there's little creative things put in there where it's like- We're putting her mental safety in first place. In first place, yeah. She really got the gold. Right. She has-

Mental safety is the real winner. Hahahaha! Buckle up, for mental safety. God. She has us as a federation supporting her. I mean, you could have given her a 1 though. Like, you could have given her a 2 or a 3. That was my initial thought.

You think this guy talked to them? Guys, you can't give out zeros. Give her the lowest score possible. You know, she's gonna lose but give her a obviously Like honestly give her a D for effort like she got a carded. Would you have given her a zero? No No, no But but because she's a 36 year old white woman because she's a you gave her a zero because she's a PhD Just imagine if she was if it was you and you were retarded would you gave her a zero because she's a PhD just imagine if she was if it was you and you were retarded would you give you a zero breaking no one to many is break dancing

oh yeah okay uh blah blah blah blah uh it's crazy that they're not doing it in la breaking because there's so many dancers here yeah well i Well, they can't take that chance again. I can't take that chance again. Okay, thanks for the link. Good shit. I can't believe that's real. I really want to see that whole routine and learn it. I really want to learn that routine. I could easily do that spin around. The Chungus routine.

Yeah. You know, there's... But like learning that routine and really nailing it, there's the idiosyncrasies of like the... Yeah. ...artist, so to speak. It's like trying to play a song from like a garage band that was like a hit.

It's difficult to play it because it's so idiosyncratic. It's like, where's he pushing? Where's he? I can't come in at that time. No matter how many times I do it, I can't count into it. The technique is so raw and rudimentary that it's uncoverable. Prink on Roxanne, it would take forever. Yeah.

Prink. Okay. Oren says, sign language facts. Hey Dick and Sean, for Sean's language corner, some interesting sign language. Oh yeah, we were talking about, I think I brought up that, yeah, that they,

and that's why one of the things, like, that Coco's handler did not understand, like she would say, oh, Coco's just making a joke. But it's like, that's not what that means, and that doesn't rhyme in sign language. Like, things like that. So she's like, oh, she's saying this word because it rhymes with the word that she should have used.

Oh yeah. But it's like, so there's a whole thing, you know, on that. But yeah, it's... They develop like languages. I would give anything to know more about that woman. Like regular languages. Which fucked up. Like is there a guy in her life who's just like, I fucking knew it.

This is so satisfying. I was saying she sucked forever and she was always a bitch about it. Okay, for Sean's language corner, some interesting sign language stuff that I've learned over the last few years. Sign language are natural languages that have developed like a... Wait, are you a sign language, Oren? You better be. That have developed like spoken languages. There's no universal sign language. Every region has its own version.

Okay. Most sign language languages are pretty modern, developing in the last couple hundred years. You need a big city to develop a large enough deaf community to build the language. Deaf kids were often shunned or thrown in the river pre-industrialization so languages couldn't develop. Pre-internet, those communities were also really isolated. So they ended up with huge regional variants like Kramer. He knows sign language, but he can't communicate with that lady.

Sign languages don't match up with spoken languages. Oh, okay. Australian sign is closely related to British sign language. Which makes sense. British priests started the first deaf schools in Australia. American sign languages... I wonder why, because they didn't fuck... They couldn't tell anybody, they were getting molested. Yeah. Right? It was like, what does it mean? He's just

gesticulating with his hands. Him! Yeah, he's doing this. Yeah. British Priest started the first deaf schools in Australia. American Sign... short for Sign Language. Yeah. Like ASL, right? Fancy. American Sign, short for sign language. Okay, dude. Like ASL, right? Something fancy. American Sign is completely different and more related to French Sign.

The grammar is usually quite different from the spoken language. I've been learning German Sign. Wow. And its sentence structure is very different from German. So you know a bunch of sign language? That's interesting. Like collecting them all?

How many sign languages could there be? Probably less than regular language. That's interesting. I mean, maybe he has somebody in his family who's deaf and it sparked an interest because I mean, people, most people do not overhear anyone, do not learn to speak another language, let alone I'm gonna skip all the spoken languages

and just go multiple sign languages. Yeah, that's really specific. At least if you learn like Mandarin, you could go talk to billions of people. If you learn German sign language, how many German sign languages are there? I mean, 100,000? Is he writing from the US or is he overseas?

I don't know. Or is he, you know? Sounds like a real weirdo. This is very interesting. Keep our eye on this guy. Well, I mean this is learning German sign language. Is it because like there's some words that sound the same in German and Everybody knows at least one German sign you'll get in trouble for doing it. But you know, even a dog gets in trouble for doing it I was trying to think of a cognate for German and English, but I only know one Like yeah, that's kind of similar is similar. Does the sign for that sound the same? Look the same?

Hmm. Don't know if it's interesting enough for the show, but I love finding this shit out. Well, it's interesting. Thanks. Cheers and smooches. I'm interested in that kind of stuff. Woman alert. Woman stabs a man a hundred times. Oh my god. Woman alert. Wow, that's a lot of times.

Somebody had to count that. Yeah. A woman 32 who stabbed her date 100 times to death. She killed him 100 times? Wow. Wait, weed induced frenzy? What? Is this real?

100 times weed induced. Ventura, California. What? Yeah, it's real. What the fuck, dude? The Daily Mail is sent to a hundred hours in community service? What? Kill her! A judge says she had no control over her actions as cannabis caused a psychotic break. How old is this fucking judge? Well, Reifer Madness era?

I know. What the fuck? Are they saying that it unlocked some kind of like schizophrenia in her? And like, you know what I mean? I guess so. That's wild. The victim's family cried when the verdict was given and warned it gave everyone who smokes marijuana in this state a license to kill. Yeah, every woman who smokes marijuana in this state.

I've never heard of anything like this. I've seen every woman basically smokes marijuana in this state. I've never heard of anything like this. That's crazy. She got what? Community service? 100 hours community service, because she smoked weed and had a psychotic break from reality. Was that she smoked weed or did she like...

And she had no control over her actions. Well, that wasn't the weed, that's just being a woman. She took two hits from a bong. Oh, fuck off. Two years on probation. Wow. Of weed? And she like, oh, I think Nick Riketa got his kids back, by the way.

Oh, he did. I haven't, you know, as I don't follow up on these things. So turned out all the kids doing coke shit was all just a bunch of bullshit. Did they fuck up the test or fuck up the whatever? So you think or he does have his kids back? I don't know, I gotta look into it. Oh, okay.

I saw him saying that he got their kids back. Oh, well then, I mean then- I mean, they're not just gonna say like, oh, we think you're giving them Coke, but here you go. No, no, no, no, no. They're supposed to verify that it's a safe environment. Like, oh, okay. So there was, the kids weren't getting Coke?

Yeah. Oh, okay, so there was, the kids weren't getting coke? Yeah. Oh, whoops. Gosh. I guess all that, I guess all that was for nothing then. I hope that's what they found. And if that's what they found, then I hope he gets his kids back. Well, if they found the opposite,

he wouldn't be getting kids back. I don't think so. Yeah. Well, damn it. We couldn't find you, given the kids all said they don't know what we're talking about. We can't find any evidence you give kids a coke. Amelia's family cried when the sentence was read out at Ventura.

Wow, Ventura! With the victim's father warning it gave everyone who smokes marijuana in the state a license to kill. Oh man, that's all you got? Somebody killed, this whore killed her son and that's your only quote? There has got to be more to this story that they don't know. Like she knows, like she's blowing the DA or something. Or that something, or that there's some kind of,

Oh God, is she dried blood? Really bizarre, maybe, yeah. I mean, that something is very, very wrong with her aside from, you know, that like they're not saying that an investigation hasn't uncovered. That's just, it's just too, it's too bizarre. She really didn't want to put out. An audiologist from Chicago.

That was the guy, Rins Victor. Judge's ruling was unforeseen. All these judges, man. Well, so it was a judge, it was not a jury trial. It was like a bench trial or whatever they call it. Yeah, I don't know. They've been dating for a month. What the fuck?

Yeah. That is crazy. That's crazy. You gotta always be aware of them stabbing you. I've been dating my girlfriend for like eight, nine years. You always check, you got a metal detector, I noticed when I came in. Every night before I go to bed, I check the knives.

You can hide it under the garbage can or something. Yeah, I always check the knives. Count them. I got a little TSA, scanner by the door. Check inside you, so. Every day I gotta think up a new reason, like, hey, grab, can you put your, let me see that dress.

Yeah, put your arms up like that. Getting creative ways to. Yeah, twirl around in the door frame. Oh, it looks great. Have you lost weight? Like that every day to check for knives and stuff that she's got planted. Just gotta keep them out of the house, stay safe.

Kane says, hey, Dick, don't use my real name. Whoops. I messaged a while back about being chosen to be interviewed on UK TV news about vaping. I was going to slip in as many dick show biggest problem references as I could. God bless you, sir. The interview happened late last year and I slipped a ton of references in like livelihood, targeted, harassment campaign, maintain a vape list, mint salad, ramshackle affair, super killer, no FU MAR, and there's a man on the internet.

And they cut it all. There's a man on the internet. When the segment aired, everything had been boiled down to about two sentences that makes me look like a crack addict, only for something as cringy as vaping. Not a single TDS reference. That's because they already had the narrative and they just needed you to-

They knew what you were doing. Well, they also just needed you to give a blurb that would fit in their story. I mean, that's, you know. Everyone at work saw the interview and thinks I'm some sort of a retard with a vaping addiction. I work for the NHS,

so I had to have some behind closed doors talks with senior management. Like, look, honestly, I did it to, I was fucking around. It's harder than you think. Yeah. So if you find yourself in a situation where you think you're gonna be Dick Masher on TV making Dr. Phil look foolish, it's not gonna happen.

You're probably just gonna look like a huge dork. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Well, you know, I'll give you more than a zero for effort Yeah, you got to try maybe breakdancing is for you. Oh man that lady I Need a I need a sound drop

Here Come on go here Here we go Okay, this might be loud. I forget how loud this sound is. All right, I'm gonna turn it down. ["It's Shawn's Guitar Talk"] Oh, shit!

Andrew says, this is a video for Shawn's Guitar Talk. This guy, Ichika Nito, is known as the best guitarist in Japan. I think Shawn will get a kick out of his 14 string guitar. I'm gonna sing this guy. Guitar solo. Okay, I already detected a bit of unexcitement.

Let's see, Japan. No, I noticed that Japanese musicians will do this kind of stuff. Like what? They will just, like the guitar is not, they don't do things traditional when it comes to music. They have to do something like this, and they'll play video game theme songs on it or something.

And accompany themselves. What the fuck is that? I don't know. ["Sweet Home Alone"] I mean, it's crazy, you got bass strings on the bottom. You're playing a fucking harp at this point. Yeah. Like a super harp, but... 14 string guitar solo guy.

Yeah. Yeah, so it's a bass and a guitar basically. Oh! basically like I mean oh sassy video game music well I've seen piano players do that shit yeah where they get real experimental and start like zinging the the strings like okay yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah in the under the hood, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we've all been a kid, okay. What do you think about that?

I mean, it's- 14 guitar strings. It's impressive. You like it. I mean- You don't hate it. No, I mean, there's nothing to hate about that, but I just kind of go like, my brain just kind of goes like, why? And it's like, but I respect it for something

that he wanted to do. I mean, he's kind of a band in a box, you know? What about this shot of Susan Wojcicki dying? She's got a gold top in the... Some guy sent it to me and he goes, see if Sean will notice the guitar in the background. Yeah, yeah, it's a Les Paul gold top. From here, I couldn't tell whether that's a reissue or whether that's an early, you know,

cause they came out, so they came out. It doesn't have a hole in it, in the middle, where the hole goes. Well, no. You think that's weird? What, you don't think she plays electric guitar? Or, I mean, this is probably not even her office. In hell?

Yeah, well that's. Maybe she plays it in hell, an electric guitar, for Satan in hell, where she's burning. So that would be, that would be probably, if it were hell, an electric guitar, for Satan in hell where she's burning. So that would be probably, if it were vintage, that would probably be, I want to say a 53 or 54. Because- How come it doesn't have the hole? Well, it's an electric guitar.

It's a Les Paul. Oh. That's a Les Paul. It looks like it should have a hole though. That's not my mistake. Well, I mean, it's a single cut, but you know what, you've seen a Les Paul. It looks like it should have a hole though. That's not my mistake. Well, I mean it's a single cut, but you know what? You've seen a Les Paul a million times. Yeah, but this, it looks like it, like this is more

looking like a guitar that has a hole in it. And it doesn't have a hole. An electric guitar that doesn't have a hole, and it should be like more pointy at the bottom. And flat. It shouldn't have this. What, more pointy and flat? It should go like this. It should go,

weren't, weren't, weren't, and then point in like that. You mean like a crazy, like a explorer or some like weird angular shaped thing? Should have more of an angular shape. And you also want a hole in it. I don't want a hole in it. I'm just saying it looks like it would,

if I, you brought this out and said check it out. I think you have just designed the ugliest guitar ever conceived. This looks weird. It's distracting! It should have a hole in it. Okay. Look! You could put a hole in it. I mean if you buy one.

Well, I mean, it's your guitar. It would look better with a hole in it. Okay. Yeah, very cool sounding guitars. Uh, here's the second video where he plays ten different guitars in one song. Okay. Heard her costume changes but... A little much huh? I mean you know... Yeah. I play all my instruments in one song. Yeah. He's gonna jack off at the end of it. I think that's a Jazzmaster.

Oh, so he's gonna create loops. Yeah, he's doing the build a band thing. Look at that hideous fucking thing. So here comes a bass. What is that? I don't know. It's headless, like a, it's not a Steinberger, but it's kind of like- See that obviously shouldn't have a hole in it. Like you can tell right away. Yeah, it's got pickups. But it doesn't, like, it doesn't look like it at all. Right. That's getting, that kinda looks like it maybe could have a hole in it.

Sean, this sucks. This song sucks and what he's doing is stupid. I mean the trick is, you know, he's building a song. That's his... The song sucks though. It's like... But it's like bad techno. It's like a four bar loop is all he's doing, right? Yeah.

It's like... Okay, here comes a strat. With a humbucker in the bridge, okay? It's like dumping shit on something that sucks until people stop listening. He's making like, Evangelion songs on the top of it. Comes a Mustang. Okay. Space lasers?

Yeah, just panning, yeah. I mean, come on, this is garbage. Maybe it's a duosonic. This one? Mustang or duosonic. The quote unquote other fenders, like I fucked those up. That's like a student model guitar. Here's why it sucks, because you don't need to be able to play a guitar to make this song.

You can just go like, BEEEOW with your mouth. BWEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww So he's not, he's not looping everything because he would have all those little, those, you know, all those textures that he did. He's missing like four or five already. It would be better if he looped it all. Well, it would just be a mess though, I think is what he's thinking. So you don't think that's a mess? Well, you know, Ibanez with an Ottawa or an envelope filter, something like that. So, yeah, I mean, this is this is this is dumb.

Thank you. I mean, you know, it's like, you saw what he's doing. He's just here's all my instruments. But, you know, I mean, it was I get the idea, but he didn't really do anything with it. It's like, oh, OK, so here's a different looking guitar. Yeah. I'll play like a, you know, I mean, it was, I get the idea, but he didn't really do anything with it. It's like, oh, okay, so here's a different looking guitar. I'll play like a, you know, I'm gonna play a couple bars on that.

I'll put this down. Cool. Like, it's like when he makes women sit through and they come to his apartment. Oh, check this out. Maybe. Okay. He hasn't realized that like he has to sing to get laid. Like it's like the one, even badly.

Like, wow, that's so cool. What's on TV? It's true. Macrovan says, single mothers, don't read my real name. Hey Dick and John, if you read this on the show, okay. Thanks for not killing yourselves for all these years. We would have missed the break dancing thing. It isn't easy.

I never would have thought a 36 year old woman would get a zero on the Olympics. No, that's true. See, that's the thing. Like you never know what's gonna happen. You will be surprised. Even if you think you've seen it all, done it all, you're over it, nothing new,

but you're gonna get surprised and hopefully you think it's fun. Yeah, something really bad will happen to somebody else. Right. You know, as bad as you think you have it. You can take that to the bank. Somebody else will have it, whereas... I made a channel for show links.

Let me see if I can find it here. Show, show links, there it is. Okay. Oh, I was looking at it already. Thanks for not killing yourself. I've been listening since the very beginning and discovered you via Maddox. Since then I have watched you help people expose the best and worst of themselves and their associations. Whether it be feminists, fat women, women in general, comedians, weak men, grifters, liberals, perverts, etc." He put etc. in parentheses.

Mm. Um, it's usually entertaining, which is a plus. Uh-huh, right. Usually. But this time, you've been... Over that time, I realized along with my girlfriend of 11 years now, fiance, size 8, B b-cup that we're not as liberal as we thought and Not feminist at all. Well, yeah, I don't know. Why would you want to be like a ist whatever it is? I'm you know, sure just gonna take it they use it to take advantage of you and it changes not looking out for you

Yeah, sure. Yeah in fact our Yeah, sure. Yeah. Um, in fact, our liberalism feminism seems to have unnecessarily limited our relationship and lives. I realized recently, as many men do, the reason I never saw value in women marriage or being a father, or a reason to even live or succeed beyond jacking off... Uh-oh, help him, Dick. Don't, he's starting to go the marriage route.

He's thinking marriage is a good thing now. He really is. Try waking up with the kids for two days. We're losing him, Doc! 50 cc's of... Nihilism. Stop thinking like that. Feminism.

Stat. And the consequences of feminism on the women in my life growing up with a single mother. Oh, okay. Well, we've got the problem. Usually it takes a while to find the problem. We've got it right up, right away, right up front. Feminism creates the, you know, the single, it's always single mother because dad leaves. Like, you know, men can make decisions.

That's why it's never single father. It's always single mother. Man, dad's like, well, hey hey I'm out of here so long they would be just as bad they just leave so you get the single mother it's all the mistakes of the parents in one so it's you know terrible there's no such thing as a good day mmm and feminine yeah feminism creates single mothers. Feminism creates single mothers. Mm. And single mothers can't help suppressing their boys' identities.

Women are tough. They're just tough to deal with. Even at my age. Mm. I imagine they will be tough till I'm in the ground. Mm. Each one. Tougher than the last. Tougher than the last.

Every interaction I've ever had with a woman, my regret. Every day is better than the next. Yep. It doesn't get any easier. Sing with their boy... Only longer. Villifying all men, especially their father. Limiting their access to male role models.

To make gaslighting and managing them easier. Well, yeah, you know, you know Ralph's recent ex-wife, baby mama, she hasn't given Ralph any information on that daughter in over a year. Really? Is he living in Mexico? He's living in Mexico. I think it gets fucked up and wasted on drugs and... Is he kind of, is he back to that or is he kind of off and on or... No, I mean, you can rate at, as addicts go, you're a 10. Right? Let's say that your relapse potential is as close as it gets to...

I mean, I'm just using it as an example to explain to people. Like it's always kind of there. Very common to, you know. Yeah. He's more in the common area. Takes a while to get to the stick sometimes. The stickiness is an issue. But even the worst kind of people, you still can tell them what the kid is doing.

Oh no, I'm not saying that's a reason not to. I'm just, I'm curious about how he's doing in general. Well, he's great. He's fine. He's not dead. Good. So he's winning. He's doing great. He does great shows. When he's killing it, he does great shows. Oh yeah.

But it's like, you chose to have a kid with this person. You can't just take the kid forever. Well, no. At some point, we as a society kind of fucking resent that more than whatever this guy did. Like, so what did he do exactly? Oh, he was an asshole?

Well, you kind of knew that before you had a kid with them, didn't you? So now you're making it all of our fucking problem. Well, I thought he would change when I had a kid with them. Right, yeah. That's on you. But the kid- I'm not saying you a kid with him. Right, yeah. That's on you. But the kid-

I'm not saying you gotta live with him, but you gotta- You can't keep kids from their parents. Well, no, no, no. The kid has a right to see their, and vice versa. Like they should be able to see. Now, if he's proven to be not trustworthy, it's like, I mean, there's things like supervised visits. There's testing, but it's like, you know,

there are ways to do it, even if you're an addict, that is okay for the, that is safe for the kid, as much as, you know, even as much as a situation can be fucked up. It kind of seems like the way you're, you're like making a big show out of like, that you're escaping this situation, is just to prove to people that you're better and you're not.

You're still that same sick fucked up person. There's plenty of things that are done that are performative. Yeah. Um, I'm incredibly, incredibly grateful for my mother's neglect because it gave me enough space to develop my own identity and character for myself and eventually a personal motivation to continue living and become what most consider successful. When he was thinking about suicide, is that what he's saying now?

I assume so. This one's pretty, yeah. I agree with you about porn being awesome and should be completely acceptable, just like drugs and overall bodily autonomy. Well, drugs is not completely acceptable yet. However, I must point out that the current porn industry props up the ideals of feminism every conceivable way,

especially when it actually is degrading to women. What feminists, feminists above all, teach their daughters that they can control men with sex. Oh no, they don't have to be taught that. I was gonna say. As that turns out. Feminists claim to teach that because it's quick in. The quick ones catch on pretty quickly. They go, wow, this guy, wow, why is he being so nice to me?

Women learn that at like 12 when they get hit on by a creepy guy in public for the first time. Oh wow, huh. I don't really know what's going on here, but I think I can make you do stuff. This just makes men seem weak to humanized without personal identity or character and obsessed with the frequency and mechanics of sex. without personal identity or character, and obsessed with the frequency and mechanics of sex. That's true, and pleasuring a woman rather than the desire to connect with someone real with principles.

Connect? That make your brain hurt, that whole principles part. Connect with someone, okay, but then real got thrown in. Right. I don't know if I could. Okay, if you could, that's a bridge too far. I don't know if I can define that.

Okay, got it. Well, there's this whole, there was a thing online where women are very upset that they tell their, they're obsessed, women are obsessed with telling men who they've fucked and how often they've fucked them and their body count and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And some woman told her husband

that he would be a great husband, but she wouldn't just sleep with him. He's not that kind of guy. And she was very offended that he, and she was very upset that he was offended by this. Gotcha. Yeah, that's pretty obvious. I think you knew.

I think you knew. Yeah. I think you know what you're doing and he knew what he was doing. But the point is the real, it got too real. Got it. Point is the relationship requires a put, just put showing up, putting in the app, going through the motions. Yeah. So it's like kind of an obligation, series of obligations and expectations and meeting

them whether you want to or not it's not really this real concept is just something you've invented to be a annoying and crass and like or your broadcast or you're calling something something else. Yeah If they ended up being able to identify principles to want them. Single mothers also don't hesitate to use the police to enforce order in their home. Another trend that concerns me about their relationship with the prison system on a macro level. Well, I hate the police, that's true.

After working themselves into a frenzy about how dangerous you are for defending yourself and how that means you're actually attacking, it would be crazy if the police didn't do, if the police just like didn't do 90% of what they did. I don't think that much would be different. I don't know. I don't know either.

After working this much, I'm gonna be frenzied about how dangerous you are for defending yourself and how that means you're actually attacking them. Growing up like this and having to constantly suppress and hide any semblance of masculinity or aggression took its toll. So he grew up with a single mom. With a single mom like this. Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of resentment.

Yeah. There's a lot of resentment directed at her and I'm sure there's a lot of it that is earned. Yeah, because at least with both parents, you can go like, can you believe this fucking guy? Well, I mean, it's like, it could be as simple as, what it, like, you know, it's, you think kind of, even as an adult,

you can think very childlike too, where you're just like, what did you do to make dad go away? Yeah. Like, you know, and all your frustration and stuff is directed at the person, whether it's their fault or not, but I'm Nobody there's never been yours. There's never

100% yeah, there's never been a perfect fucking parent and it let you know a lot of a lot of parents are Not really worthy of that much respect like there is there's a lot of media Poor parents out there What's that? JD Vance wants to give them double votes. Oh, gotcha. All the shitty parents. Okay.

Combined with today's aposematic, hypersexual feminist culture, pushing microaggressions. Whoa, whoa, whoa! He's got a lot of buzzwords going on. We gotta use real words here. We gotta go to the bargain bin and use them words. Them words are good. Them words are good.

Them words are good enough. It only serves to catalyze our political conservatism and my current explosion of self-expression. What does that mean? Jacking off? What is? I don't know. Trans?

What's an explosion? He's getting a little artsy. Yeah, he's getting a little fruity. No, it's funny, cause he's very like, in some ways, there's a couple of paragraphs up, he's getting a little fruity. No, it's funny because he's very like, in some ways, a couple paragraphs up, he's like very socially liberal. Yeah. Like, you know, with a, just leave it alone, like porn's awesome. But, you know, then he's throwing in like some things where it's like, yeah, this, you know,

like, feminine, dude, there's a lot of problems. People really struggle with. There's a lot of problems with feminism, sure. Yeah, people really struggle with this idea that women control men with sex and that they're kind of obligated to not take advantage of it. And men are kind of obligated not to beat women and force them to do shit they don't wanna do.

And that no system of laws is going to be more than what's innate to the species. It's real tough to fuck with nature. Yeah, like, yeah, we kinda all- It's real tough. fuck with nature. Yeah. Like, yeah, we kind of all. It's real tough. We all know this. We all know it. So don't get out of control

and mistakes are gonna happen. Don't let them happen twice. In reality, women do want masculine, aggressive, and expressive men, among many other things. Yeah, but don't like make it a problem. They just too often don't care understand what principles are driving those traits. Hmm, does it matter?

Otherwise they could properly raise a boy to a man or a girl to be a good leader on their own. You know, I haven't seen anything proving that parenting matters at all. I haven't seen any sort of study or- Well, there's certainly, certainly plenty of that out there. Is there? What's the study? What does it say? Do parents get better every kid they have? Does the kid have a better chance of succeeding? Cause you would think that if the parenting, parenting matter, they say, Oh, you know what? I'm a much better parent this time. This kid's

going to be more successful. No, I'm a much better parent this time. This kid's gonna be more successful. That didn't happen. I'll tell you why. This kid's in jail now. Because there is such a thing as temperament, which we are all born with. So what you have, one style of parenting, this worked great for my second kid. What the fuck is going on with the third?

Yeah. They are different, they have different temperaments from the get-go. Do we have a number for it? And you have to figure out, that's what's so hard about that's it's not you can never get it down to one variable that's trouble you have to look at data and like just Tons and tons and tons of data. What's the data say? What does the data say?

Parenting. Does the data say we? Good parents have much better kids. I don't know. It seems like all the data points to marketing is the secret to good parenting. You have to take your successes and market them to people. And that's the key to parenting. You mean for the parents to get a big return? Yes.

Marketing, I think, is the secret to parenting. Your kids did well, and you as a parent it's your job to broadcast the children's successes and credit them to yourself. I think that's the secret to parenting. I think that's what parenting is. And then their kid ends up in jail and it's like. I didn't do that, the fucking system did that.

That's also marketing. That's what I'm saying, the secret to, the secret of parenting is marketing. There are a lot of parents who go like, And that's why it's so difficult. That's why it's so difficult. What did I do wrong? But are a lot of parents who go like, What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? But then there's some where it's like, what did you do wrong? I did everything great. I don't know. I just don't- I don't- I don't believe- I don't buy it yet.

Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah. I get it. Yeah. Uh, like I feel that it's right, but I haven't seen it proved conclusively. Okay. They intuitively know it when they see it though. I really threaded the needle finding a fit woman raised by two continually supportive parents with a good relationship to her father who is not hypersexualized. You know, life has a way of surprising you.

She is quite aware of the huge Tom Sawyer story playing out, convincing women in the workforce to compete with men and be even bigger consumers. Well, he's really put a lot of, he's really kind of covering some ground here, isn't he? Thinking about it. Additionally, she has the same personal reasons for wanting to stay fit as I do. This is just his wife, I take it.

Yeah, to live longer. Goodbye, fatties. Man, well, whatever the reason, it's good that you're staying fit. Living longer has never been a reason for me. Right. It's just making my time here as less miserable than, Yeah, it's just something to do.

Not so I can be miserable longer. Yeah. Right? Yeah, it's just something not so I can not so I can be miserable longer Right Yeah, I mean that could be that's an unfortunate side effect right living longer be an unfortunate side effect But you take the good with the bad. This is making it longer. Yeah. Yeah shit. I've been fucking up this whole time Yeah, nowadays men seem to dream of Being nothing more than a lifetime polyamorous human dildo. Oh, okay coin purse. I love letters like this because this really so interesting

Seeing people like come to life and you know, like babies are retarded They're all exactly the same. Yeah, and people start thinking and throwing things out there well, and also when people people have some kind of an epiphany in their lives or something, where it's almost like there's a term like sober and crazy, where shit's like, so it's like all of a sudden this is all new to him, so he's just scattered all over the fucking map. But it's interesting. And then usually when people say stuff like this, people get real angry in their lives. Like, what do you mean? What are you saying about your mom? Like, oh, okay, calm down.

Yeah, it doesn't mean he hates his mom, but I'm sure as you get, nothing wrong with that. Well, you go like, wow, that's really unfortunate that she handled that situation like that. Now that you know, that was bad parenting right there. A polyamorous human dildo. Is that? Probably some guys. That's a... Bro, that's been the same forever though. Genghis Khan fucked how many millions of women.

Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some guys are just like that. I think that's a band. Some guys are just like that. I think that's a band. I think modern guys are sort of envious that they don't have that impulse. That they feel like something's wrong with them

because they don't, they're like, I gotta fucking chuck, I gotta fuck them and dump them. Oh right, but they don't really feel like that and they feel like they should? And then they have the Schuendover correction of like, no, I'm in love, She's the greatest thing that ever. Can you just like calm down in general? Working and simping for fat women

who are taught to expect that and give nothing in return. Not to mention the victimhood leader boards of minorities. They simp for instead of advocating for nurturing families and values as feminism claims to do. Well, I mean, man. Holy shit, this is a long letter. Really, he definitely typed out a manifesto.

Definitely says the N word in that lower paragraph. I can see it from here. You can? No. People have been advocating for families for a long time. Yeah. It just never really works out. Right on.

It's a lot really works out. A lot less works out today than I think in years past as far as staying as a nuclear family. But did we ever? Were we ever a nuclear family or was that a coke ad? Were we ever? Well, I mean, there was a lot less. Things were you didn't divorce. It might have, I mean, like it might've been horrible.

It might've been horrible. It might've been dysfunctional. All of that was true. Way back you would stay married and you'd just go live separate lives and you'd have some kind of weird endowment. Like it's all just legal structures. Oh, totally.

You know? Totally. But it doesn't mean that the family was functional. Women are fucking servants and stuff and going around. I think this whole, like, I really think that this whole polyamory thing Mmm, like everyone's pretending that it's this is new Poly polyamory. I think it's just that people are so bad at hiding cheating

Yeah, now that there's phones and stuff. Oh, yeah, they've kind of just gone like now I guess we're just like calling it a new kind of thing. Yeah, you can't just fuck your secretary at work anymore So yeah, well, I guess this is a life. There's always been the same kinds of people who are gonna like find a way. Like they're, it's, yeah. I can't help but identify more conservative women as the only viable women to procreate with this point.

This is starting to get, yeah. To procreate. This is a little bit, you know, but- You know you can fuck with any kids with whatever you want. This is starting to get a little bit, the verbiage is starting to get a little bit Dr. Strange love, you know? Purity of essence.

Right, right, purity of essence. I can't help but think, but conservative women. A what woman? You know, a woman who believes in- Make me a drink of- Politics. Rainwater and pure grain alcohol. You're telling me the woman that can't name the nine planets is fiscally responsible at a government level?

Wow, that's crazy. Any woman has complete control over your children thanks to courts. Well, it's also because men are getting shitfaced and beating their kids and stuff. There was a reason that they have this. I think the legal system also is probably biased toward the mother by default. And it's not fair because there's plenty of fathers who probably should have, majority custody or at least partial custody or whatever who are relegated to like weekend visits because mom had a better lawyer

or the way the system's just set up. And it's like, we think there's going to be fewer problems with mom than with dad. We won't have to keep an eye on shit. You know, we probably, probably CPS will be called more often if they're at dad's. I don't know. So they just set it up that way. Yeah, because dad's going to get shit faced and beat him.

He might. I mean, he might. I mean, maybe not today, but- Or he might just get shit, he might just get shit faced and not responsible. He might, you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, it might be not today, but a hundred years ago. Yeah, there was a reason that, there was a reason that temperance happened because guys were just getting annihilated on liquor and kicking the shit out of everybody at home.

Look, there's lots of things that were acceptable or normal. Like it's like, it doesn't mean that it was right. It's like in the, you know, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's, we, you know, think differently, but it was normalized. But at least non-feminist women have demonstrated that they not only have some semblance of family values,

man, don't believe what they fucking say. Yeah. Sometimes when you are open to like a new point of view, you jump in and kind of become a, you can jump in and kind of become like a zealot, like right away. This is what I've been looking for. Oh my God, this is the opposite

of what I was taught to believe. I was raised by- It must be right. Yeah. Because it's the opposite. Don't fucking do that. I'm telling you right now, stop and think, take a breath, don't buy anything, you know, in full.

Yeah. There are plenty of reasons to have beliefs Don't buy anything, you know, in full. There are plenty of reasons to have beliefs that straddle fucking the sides. Quote unquote. People try to, they use these labels to like sell you. Yeah, yeah. They are. Oh yeah, I'm a conservative too. Yeah, I'm a Trump guy too.

Like, ah, it doesn't tell me anything. No, no. I don't know. I don't know what you mean by that. I'm gonna have, yeah, I'm a Trump guy too. Like, ah, that doesn't tell me anything. No, no. I don't know. I don't know what you mean by that. I'm gonna have to wait and see. At least non-feminist women have demonstrated, yeah, yeah, I read that. But they also respect the men of a place

inside of the other than sperm does. Oh, and they usually have two parents and a good relationship with their father. Go figure. I'm not anti-abortion, just anti-making women want unnecessary abortions. Okay. Okay.

Not anti-porn, just anti-porn industry. Well, how you get to porn then? Homemade. Somebody's gotta be- It's like the moonshine of porn. Somebody's gotta be scooping these girls up when they're barely legal, you know? The day they turn 18. You want to make a film? What do you- what about the army? What do you mean? You're anti-porn industry, but what about the-

WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING ARMY?! Why do you care about them?! Well, because conservatives are pro-military. Because I gotta protect the pussy. I mean, I need a reason to die, but we gotta keep these young whores fresh. Fresh from these money grabbing pimps. Wrong. That's feminist, man. Subtle distinctions like this, I think, could help more of these poor men reach the self-actualization

level required to change the status quo. Self-actualization used to be a pejorative. Yeah, this is sober and crazy. That's what it is. He's not an idiot. He's not an idiot. He's just excited. Think it through.

Find a reason for not all this. Too long didn't read. Porn is fine, fuck the porn industry. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, food is great, fuck McDonald's. Right? Yeah, sure. What are you talking about? All right, well, you know abortion is often necessary fuck the abortion industry Often necessary. Yeah, sure

But God sort of mom children are infinitely better off with male role models and two parents, okay Feminism creates single mothers. I don't think that's what did it. I think guys did it. Don't simp for women. Yeah, don't simp for women. Okay. Let's do a fat watch, something fun. That was a lot longer than I thought. That was a big one. Goddamn feminism! Creating these single mothers? I had feminism impregnate all these whores. Fucking Germaine Greer, knocking up women. Putting seeds in their bellies all across this great world. Why'd she do this?

Danny's tired of talking. It might happen with all these new women. Oh yeah. There could be a lot of impregn- Turkey, paterno Genesis or whatever it is. Could be a lot of- well I mean, but a lot of the new women have beards and cocks. Hahahaha! So- What are these guys linking in here?

Come on, hair shit. Ubisoft, something with Gen Z brides with tattoo regret. A flock to laser treatment. Yeah, okay. They all got this cursive shit. Look at this fucking crap. I hate to say it, you guys are kinda, you're kinda winning me over on the possums.

Yeah, they're cool. I don't think they're as hideous as I once did. This is news, Sean. Yeah. This bitch is getting married and doesn't like that she wrote cursive tattoos all over her arm or whatever. Yeah, her forearm, yeah.

Wow, can't believe that. Literacy statistics? I bet I could guess what they are. Fuck it. This is fat watch. No, this is just a fat lady. It's not fat watch. I'll find it.

You're figuring it out. That's good. I'm proud of you for that. Toot, toot, toot. You're figuring it out. That's good, I'm proud of you for that. This is Danny's Tired of Talking. An Indian airline allows women to avoid sitting next to men. He says we need this for fat chicks.

Oh, women can now avoid sitting next to men on this airline. While many are hailing the move, others are criticizing. Is this real? Wow, it's on Fodors, isn't that like a real thing? I don't know. I don't know what that is. India's low cost budget airline Indigo has introduced a unique feature in its flights.

The option for women travelers to sit next to other women, that should be on everything. The airline which operates 2,000 international and domestic flights daily, announced this feature in May as a pilot program. And so you know, okay, it's not really a fat watch, but it's interesting. Sean, long time Aussie dickhead here.

Thought you'd get a giggle out of this one. The noise this behemoth makes in particular. Okay. Liked on Instagram. Wait, he said this is, I'll get a kick out of this, but not you? I think his name is Sean. Oh, oh, that's the guy. Okay.

See the real. Oh, wow. It was... Oh, I think we saw this already last week. Sorry. Women at a convention pretending their dolls are real. The female equivalent of anime body... pillows, slash real dolls. Here's the video. 57 seconds of videos. Very specific. Yeah, it is.

Oh, I'm blocked from this lady. Oh. Oh, of course. Okay. You're signing with another account or is that, or is it skip it? Yeah, I just gotta go to like invisible mode. We stayed at a hotel that had a baby convention.

They were all fake babies. What? Are they supposed to be like learning how to parent? Is that what it, or is it literally like a doll? I'm pretending, I'm pretending my doll is a baby convention. By the window, by the window. Oh my God. Dude. Dude! By the window, by the window, that's where all the hoes be.

Dude! That's a full grown woman. With like pig slippers in the lobby of the hotel, carrying around a toddler sized cabbage patch doll. It's piglet, like that's, it's piglet and Eeyore on her, it's piglet on her feet, Piglet and Eeyore on her, it's Piglet on her feet, right? Yeah. And Eeyore on her uh...

Piglet in the sheets, Eeyore in the sheets. That's what it is. No, what? No! They've got fake dolls sitting on the table pretend talking to them? Oh, and she's got one with red hair. Eww. Oh my god. This is really wild. Whoa, okay, they're a bunch of ladies are like holding pretend newborns.

Is that your dog trying to get in? Maybe. Oh my God. What is this called? Hey! We're almost done. She's never done that before. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Here comes a dump truck down the stairs. Hi Maddie. Maddie, get over here. Get over here. You trying to tell me to go, huh? What time is it? Oh my god, it's three already?

Oh, no wonder. They're hungry. Okay. That could be it. Okay, voicemails. No, we do the theme song here. Okay, everybody. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show.

We'll do a bonus episode, what, this week? Next week? Yeah, we're gonna have a crossover tomorrow, right? Oh yeah! Yeah, what should we do? Does this murder make me look gay? Do you see that one? I haven't looked at it yet, I saw you sent that though.

Yeah, it looks pretty good. I'm doing Destiny's show at the end of the month. Oh wow. In Florida. Oh, no shit. It should be a big live show. Oh wow. I don't know what kind of show it is Florida. Oh, no shit. Should be a big live show. Oh, wow. I don't know what kind of show it is, but it should be fun.

And then, oh, how you doing, Chloe? Come here, come here, come here, come here. Yeah, come here. Come on, come on, come on. Tell her you're gonna get the paw right in the fucking face. She's caught up in the shit. Oh no! Chloe!

And then we're doing Yeah, yeah, we're going on Vito's, Vito's Cope stream this week. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show. Dick.show. See you next Tuesday. And then we play the Wading Game. And then we play the waiting game. Oh

Food influencer dies on camera due to overeating You are living dangerously they're gonna tear down this whole place Licking the mic no gross It. Oh gross. That tastes great. Shit's got everything you've eaten all over it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Ahhhhh! God damn it. She hasn't lost any weight.

I know. I feed her two kibbles a day. Two little rocks every day. How is that? I don't know! Dude, I know she exercises. Yeah, a lot. Uh, she just doesn't lose any weight. She's just fat. I know she exercises. Yeah a lot She doesn't lose any weight yeah, I think somebody's sneaking her food. She's just big bone. I don't know

in her food I Didn't think treats count it. Mmm. Oh fuck. I have AI Maddox to we'll do that next week, okay? Okay Andrew from Eugene, Oregon checking in after his divorce. Hey, the Dick Show. Now, it's taken some time. The new chick has huge kids. Oh! He's got a new chick. But that's very nice to wrap.

Look at how fast it turns around. I need to be on it for a second. Yes. Oh! He's got a new chick. But that's- that's very in line with the route. Look at how fast it turns around! Yes. How much- how much Fluff do you think? Right? Cause I mean we all want like the thin with big tits. Wait, what did he say?

He's saying philosophy? How much Fluff do you think Philosophy I think that's what he's saying fluff off it Is that a sort of fat chick swallowing the last syllable but like embarrassed cuz she's fat. That's what is that's what I'm hearing Goddamnit a the dick show. No, it's guys. Can we just be honest for a second? Uh-huh How much, how much fluff do you take? Right? Because I mean, we all want like the thin with big tits, but right, you're going to have to have a little bit. So it's like, yeah. Where's the line?

That's what I was like, I think it's like They're going to have to erase you at a height, right? Erase you, up height, to waist, to boobs. It needs to be a very specific pocket science. They're studying rocks and shit in college instead of this. Oh yeah, if you have to ask, it's too fat. That's the rule. There you go. That's the rule, Andrew.

I think you know that. You're just hoping that that wouldn't be the case? Is that what you're- No, I got this. Yeah, too fat. Damn it. I was hoping that you would tell me something that I could- Trying to low key sell it. Is that what sets you off?

So the yaw of the woman is, you know, she's around, she's got the big cans, like I say. The yaw, I think of it like an airplane. You know, you got... Her rudder comes in, the afterward rudder. Women have a pitch, like this, right? They have roll, right? Or yaw.

Oh man, if I roll that bitch about 10 degrees, and pull the ailerons up, you know, a little bit, I can really slim her up, right? I can get her on, slim her down this way, which is perfect. But do not exceed the critical angle of attack because there will be a stall and it's bad for everybody. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee She's too fat bro! You know this! Okay. Women and aerodynamics.

There's a little raid here but... Some girl I matched with on a dating app. Okay. She put in her bio that she had a stroke. Yeah. Anyway, long story short, she confessed that she's like, oh, what was me? I can't work out as well as I used to be able to,

work out some air quotes by the way, because of what's about to come next. Oh, she had strokes, she can't work out no more. She lost all of her muscle, and she went from weighing 170 pounds, the fucking average, to 155. Thanks fucking God. It's a stroke better lose weight.

All women should have strokes. How can we... She's carrying a lot of muscle or something? ...inject a blood clot into every single one of them and give them a stroke. They all need to be... A lot of work. You gotta chase them down. Why are they so fucking fast? Like I can't even gain weight when I want to. You will. Don't worry about that. It'll catch up to you.

It might take you in your 20s. Um, yeah, huh. I don't think I could gain weight until I was like in my late 30s. Spilling out the corner of your mouth like that. You're gonna get strokes. That's my stroke size, Lois! Fall out. Uh, okay.

What's up, Jake? What's up? What's up, Sean? Yup. I was listening to F-7 420 and you guys mentioned fat women in medical. I work. I'm a tech guy in medical. Cool. Yes. I'll tell you what, man. It's lost by 15,000. How many fat chicks work in the medical industry? Yeah.

Mason, why is that? I don't know. I don't see a team, so I gotta see a little profile picture. He's right, though. Every time they check my profile picture, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick.

I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a fat chick. are he's right like that are working like no it is not You work under doctors, shouldn't you like know that you should not be eating so much, you fat bitch?

Fucking damn, don't fuck yourself. How is that? Why is that? I don't know, there are all- Science will never know. Yeah, I don't know. I've noticed that though. I'm in here with your, I'm the nurse. Why are you so fat?

Never comes up. What are you doing all day? I mean, they walk around a lot. You think so? Yeah. Maybe the walking doesn't do anything. Well, I mean, not compared to some exercise. I think the eating habits are kind of bad.

I think they're just eating Doritos all day. Like snacking all day. Stressed out all day. Probably. So they're eating all day. Probably. It's a mystery. Maybe someday we'll solve it. Maybe medicine.

Could be. All the money's going to cancer research. OK. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. Charles Pound, AP. What the fuck is up with JD Vance saying that more babies, people with more babies should have more fucking votes?

He's an idiot. I mean, is he trying to get the entire country liberal? You know who has babies? People of fucking color, that's for sure. They're- and proud we are of all of them. Mormons excluded Everybody else does a pretty goddamn good job. If that was to actually come true The national anthem would be reggaeton within the fucking year. See you next Tuesday. Ba ba da ba da ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Yeah. It's not good enough that they had kids. Man, I've never heard guys talk as weirdly about babies as they do now. It is kind of fetishized, isn't it?

Like, it seems like. Like you're, I feel like I could go to any dad and go like, ah, you're not a very good dad. Yeah. You know, be pretty safe in my assessment. And they would be like. Oh, you mean that'd be accurate? Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, you know. You could improve for sure. would be like- Oh, you mean that'd be accurate? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, could improve for sure. You're not as good as you could be, right? But they, it's like a religion to them. Where it's not only, it's like Hillary Clinton's, it takes a village. It's like, it takes all men to raise our babies. All men have to be trying to have babies at all time. And then we take our babies.

You're like, eh. I mean, it's like, you guys are your kids like your kids suck you suck, right? So the your best your best case scenario is that your kids turn into you and I hate you right so Yeah, I hope you fuck up. I don't want to deal with more of you I definitely don't want to deal with more of you in 40 years when I'm all fucked up. Yeah, I'm retarded. Yeah I definitely don't want to deal with more of you in 40 years when I'm all fucked up and retarded. They're really, J.B. Vance is saying some weird shit. I think he's getting paid to lose.

All those DeSantis retards piled in. Yeah, he really did. Yeah, fuck it, day one, I'm like, I hate DeSantis, I hate everything about him, I hope he gets hit by a train. All those guys, all that money just took from DeSantis and they found a gayer, a gayer weirder guy And they put all the money on him like all they do they get paid to run campaigns and lose That's it. The worst thing that could happen for Republicans. They win and everyone's like what should we do about?

Should we start kicking those guys out? No, we can't do that We need more guys then All right, let's see. No Sean. If Sean is not on the next episode, I'm buying a one-way ticket to Greenland. I'm buying that $10,000 shirt or whatever the fuck it is. I'm buying two of them. Yeah, buy. From the dig shop.

Yeah. If he's not back. I'm here. If he has some kind of cough injury, I'm going. That's it. I'm buying two of them. Yeah, by from the big shop. Yeah, if he's not back. I'm here I just have some kind of cock injury. I'm going that's it. I'm done. I saved a life today Job, I saved a life. Thank you painful. I need his Jaw alignment on the video. I need his little quits everything Sean down the corner. I need it. I would suck Don't that kidney stone through Sean's cock if I had to and then I would hammer it into my own not I would plug it into

his own please appreciate the show Wow not necessary thank you about the slurs that Carl Carl hit all of them, did he? You know, I think after this, uh, I don't know who he hit. Last episode, we could all agree that, uh, should never have Carl back on the journey. Oh, no, he was good. Um, I think I've just come to the conclusion that, like, as I get older, I don't even have a problem with, like, the words that he's saying, you know what I mean? Yeah.

The fact that you try to hit them all. The people that have the compulsion to say slurs are like just the tryhardiest motherfuckers. People don't like it. You know what I mean? He's bringing up a story that isn't funny at all just so we can casually say it at first. He's derailing what you're trying to talk about on the show. She was so wack, man. I could feel the tension in the room every time

you get like mad at him. He's like too retarded. Did you tell him to stop? Yeah. I just clicked for where I had to clean up. Oh did you clean it up? Yeah, I mean you just cleaned up the blank area. I think I'm awesome and edgy. I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's a very long episode this week. I hope Sean, his penis is okay. All good. All right, bye. I don't know what it is. All good.

I have to say to a lot of certain people, a lot of people, well, you don't say that. You know, don't say that. Yeah, just pretend you're like in mixed company. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Pretend someone's listening to this, like, you know, at work or something. Right. You can't say company. Yes. Yes. Yes pretend someone's listening to this like, you know at work or something, right? Yeah, yeah people just say sometimes they just have to it's like that would be crazy

Well, I can't well don't it's almost like you're if they if they don't say it It's like somebody standing there telling them don't you fucking say? Oh, yeah. Fuck you. I'm gonna say it But like dude, nobody's standing there saying remember don't say this don't say that just just have some this is called decorum Yeah, it's better when you say it it's more hateful when you sneak it by well, you know Yeah, I think that might be the problem Subtlety subtlety and nuance guys like to come in with a haymaker. I get in there, you know pretend to be their friends I'm gonna say those words words What are you talking about? And then like get in there? Yeah, you don't say it You know, whatever is it's best not to necessarily beat a joke over the over the head, you know

It's like you don't want a good joke. Not everyone gets I do think Carl is good and I like his impressions Oh really? I don't know. I honestly don't know who he is. Is he a comedian? That's what he did. He's still like a standup, like a, or yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay. One more. Hope Sean gets better. That's this one.

Hey, Dick, I heard on the latest show what happened to Sean that really sucks. I know if there's a GoFundMe or something for him, I'd definitely contribute to it. Yeah, we'll work on something. Oh yeah I mean I guess it's a common side effect of all the farming he does. Or something I know I hope he's better soon because man that co-host you had on last time. Okay okay I didn't read that.

Oh no. People are vocal and they don't like something too. Yes, that's true. Nobody listens to something that they enjoy and go like, yeah, I'm gonna go leave it. Thank you for the, well, I was better the next day, which is, that's the best case scenario. That was as, it went as good as it could have gone. So I'm good. Next time. Yeah, next time will be worse. You want to go fund me, right?

Yeah, next time will be worse. Yeah. Slice that thing right down the middle. Oh boy. Yeah, I look like a, like butterfly in a hot Slice that thing right down the middle. Oh boy. Yeah, look like a, like butterfly in a hot dog at your frying butter on the stove. You know, Vito said, Vito doesn't think that I can get Super Sonic in Sonic 2.

Cause I said that I, cause I said Vito sucks at video games and there's no way he could get Super Sonic in any Sonic game. And that I got Super Sonic all the time. So Vito tried to do it and fucked it up, and everyone said it was the worst Sonic playing they've ever seen.

So Vito said, Dick can't get Super Sonic like he says in Super Sonic 2. I can't get Super Sonic in Super... Have you ever got Super Sonic? Did you ever play Sonic 2 or 3? Any of the Sonics? Not once. Not even for a minute just to see how it felt.

I promise, I promise you Yeah, I can get super sonic and sonic tube. Yeah, probably in the first world. Okay, at least the first two I'm sure that's very impressive. Yeah total what Vito's saying is total bullshit total cope. Are you gonna like do Something about me you're gonna have any kind of a little contest or just I don't know Yeah, but I promise that I can do it. Right. All right. I mean, you, you were good at video games, right?

I mean... Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Better than him, apparently. All right. I wasn't making that claim, but if he's going to say, I can't get Super Sonic and Sonic 2, then I guess we're going to have to see who, who does what.

At least put it on the docket, you know, to get to at some point. Yeah. Let's put it on. Let's put it out there. If we're gonna be calling things out while someone's out of town, let's just see where it leads. Okay? Alright, goodbye everyone. See ya. Thank you.