The Dick Show - Episode 429 - Dick on "The Newly Ped" Game

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

The "Mr. McMahon" documentary, Moo Deng fever, Cat Girl goes to jail, Maddox defends his bicycle, the president of Haiti drinks water incorrectly, women try to figure out a propeller, millennials and choking, and Collin Shumaker calls in with his hit new flashmob gameshow for pedophiles "The Newly Ped Game"; all that and more this week on The Dick show!

I gotta remember why I was drinking so much last night. That's the real issue. That's the secret to doing this show. There's a reason why I was drinking so much. You drank all your anger away. Yeah. That's a problem. It works.

It works. I forgot what I was so upset about. Now I gotta remember. It was a lot of stuff. I'm sure. A lot of real stuff that I was really upset about. Yeah, that justified the drinking. Yeah, yeah.

I just got to remember what it was. It'll come to you. Yeah, it'll come. Let me kiss some of this remembering juice now. That's what it turns into today, Sunday morning. Actually kind of does. I mean, your brain starts working a little better before it starts working a lot worse.

I got to find my Chinese doctor and ask her. All right. Oh, yeah. I'm going to stop. I just need a little bit to get through the day. It's a medical drinking issue that I have here. Why not? Can you please write me a note for myself?

Right. Obviously I've conditioned everyone else in my life to enable it, but I need a note from you to myself. Everybody else is satisfied. I'm the last holdout of resisting the alcoholism and I need permission from you, my doctor, to just go ahead and let that go. It'd be best for everybody if I could do that. You could do that for me. You could get just an online doctor to just go ahead and let that go. It'd be best for everybody if I could do that.

You could do that for me. You could get just an online doctor to, I'm sure, somewhere to write you a- That's not good enough. I need the real, you know how it works, Sean. I need you to do it. Got it. That's-

Yeah. You know what's making me rage? That little baby hippo. I want to punt that fucker. Moodang. Was there a little baby hippo? You seen that moodang? Something just get born in a...

Some little hippo got born. Yeah. You haven't seen this thing? No, but I've seen baby hippos. Well, this little fucker is all over the place biting, biting people. Look at this little cocksucker, moodang. This little fucker.

Never seen, I want to wind up and punt this little fucker. Baby, it's a baby hippo. It's not a pig me. But it says a baby pig me hippo. That's what it is. Well, but it's a pig me hippo. It's a baby. Doing this biting shit.

You know how small it is, yeah. It's not funny. I'm sick of seeing this slimy little piece of shit. Looks like a poop with legs. Yeah, man. Looks like a gray poop with legs. Yeah, man, they're- Looks like a grey poop with legs. Look at this. Look at this cocksucker.

They're vicious, man. Yeah! It's vicious, it's not cute. It's the most- Kill that fucking thing. That's what's wrong with society. Most dangerous animal in Africa. Yeah.

By far. Oh, well, so, uh... Heh. What are you... I don't even know where that's going. Sean, that's inappropriate. What? Let's just say it's a very dangerous animal. It's the most dangerous animal in Africa. And in America.

I'm saying because they've got crocodiles, they've got lions. So why would we bring it here? Oh, okay. Of all the things in Africa. Yeah, they've got lots of predators. That's not a predator, but it's an incredibly irritable territorial. I'm putting a hit out on Mudang. Yeah, they kill more people than the rest of them combined.

I got a bounty out for Mudang. How much do you think I could get the head of Mudang? Mudang? Yeah, 20 bucks, you think? Oh. I'll send Riley in there with those big scissors. It's in a zoo, I take it, right? Yeah, it's in a zoo.

I'm an anti-zoo now. Zoo security. I'm going to start being anti-zoo, just so I don't have to go to the fucking zoo anymore. You know? You hear about going to the zoo. Yeah, yeah. We can't lock these animals up.

This is really, it's cruel. It's unjust. We got to end this zoo shit. So my girlfriend stops talking about, it's cruel, it's unjust. We gotta end this zoo shit. So my girlfriend stops talking about, and all girlfriends all over the world, talking about the zoo all the time. Fuck the zoo. Nobody wants to-

When was the last time you were at the zoo? It's been a few years for me, I think. Yeah, it's been a few years. But every time I drive by, I'm just dreading it. Oh, don't you fucking, who fucking mentioned the zoo? I'm gonna fucking top you right out of it. We are not visiting your family today. Presenting Dick!

This hippo? Kill it! Women love it. Oh, I love little fat ugly things. Yeah, no shit, you are a fat ugly- YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E What's up, buddy? How you doing? The sweats haven't even begun. That's the sweet spot of the hangover. If you can wake up before you're hungover, that's when you get one over on God. Well, you got a chance. You got a fighting chance. Because you can remember where the refrigerator is.

Boom! I'm awake! Oh, fuck, I'm not hungover yet! Honey! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Right away! Oh, yeah! Goal! I'm in, baby!oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo See ya buddy! Very very true. Suck my cock Church! I don't think so! Put some pants on Russell Brand! Fuck you! Woo! Woo! You got a date Wednesday baby! I'mma fuck your ass up! Um...

Yep, you avoided it today. We've seen that McMahon documentary? The Vince McMahon? No I haven't. I didn't know how awesome he was. I knew he was awesome but I didn't know how awesome he was. I knew it was awesome, but I didn't know how awesome he was. Really? Wow. Is it like new stuff, you know, things we didn't know or? You know, he's just like, he's just a total cocksucker. Yeah. Like all the time, he's a cocksucker when he's, he's even a worse cocksucker when he's just being himself.

Like for real, like I don't think he ever breaks character. I think he's just like, has massive like psychological issues where he just never gives it straight he's always on if he's on camera he's on camera right but they go after him so hard the the journalists the documentary makers and the journalists that they interview to shit on him go after him so hard it's impossible not to like him like The I mean the the the rape shit. Well, sorry. I mean, I don't know you paid some chick like $200,000 to use her Like a sex toy. Yeah, I don't know man. That was the 80s. Oh was that when the there wasn't recent stuff?

That was the 2000s that was the 2010s Sean, you know a lot of dirty shit was happening in the 2010s I don't know cuz I'm just not that interested in Vince McMahon, so. Really, even with this walk? And this one, this one? When he goes, mm, his face, and then he's like, uh, his face, and then he's like, whoa, his face, like that. You're not interested in that. Not really.

What the fuck are you, what are you talking about? I don't know, I just say, you know. You know what I'm talking about. Whoa, and he's like, whoa! The face? Yeah, well remember, there was a time where this was, just because it's the internet and it's impossible not to see some things, when he was like, cause he's well into his 70s now, right?

Yeah, he's a little guy. He looks like a Mexican soap opera bad guy. Dude, he was like in his 60s, roided out as fuck, like wrestling. Yeah, it was crazy. Like, I mean, I see what yeah Let me make sure the sound is happening here Is the sound how the sounds not happening? Is it? Oh? Great now I got a fucking record it and bounce it out fucking great fantastic again. I fucked it up again

Fucking blew it fucking blew it there. Is that working now? Yeah, it'll catch up. Screwed me again, Costanza. Screwed me again, Costanza. Yeah, he was roided out of his, oh wait, no, it was working. Was it? God damn it. Well, the liquor giveth and taketh away from you. Oh yeah. That's what, I don't know if you knew that, but. Just like the Lord.

Just like the goddamn Lord. You see Russell- God damn Lord. You see Russell Brand is baptizing people in his tidy whitey penis underwear? No, but... You know, you know guys, I mean, I don't want to like... Hang on, let's see if you fucked up again. Why?

What did I do? Did you email a link today? Yeah. Oh, okay. Should have. Did it not go out? I don't know. That's...

Did I not? I'm being asked. You're being asked? Yeah. Shit. Did I leave it in a post state? Possibly. And didn't send it out? Okay, hold on. Let me go get my computer and see if I can... Oh boy.

Oh no. Hahaha. Let me make sure this... You're sure? This is a false... Oh, it could be. I'm giving this 50-50. Oh Boy, oh no, thank you. Thank you. Yes. Yes I just dropped my computer, too

Oh my god Well also god or something well, yeah, I mean you got no hangover, but everything else has gone to shit That's what always I have when I have time to kill. I know I fucked something. Yeah, idle hands Good. I'm glad I dropped the computer. It does I have like new device You know sickness. Yeah, whenever you get a new You mean you're afraid to fuck it up or like? Yeah, like the first scratch. That fucking shirt, I just realized exactly what's going on there. My God, these people are quick.

No, Mint drew this, the second her and Vito started fighting, she drew this little pig. As they were fighting, right? As they were fighting, this was her response. I mean, well, you heard her talk. That's not working, so? This is her response. I mean, well, you heard her talk. That's not working. So she went to the art.

I was like, oh man, Vito, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty funny picture. I mean, it's actually cute. I know. But you know, you know exactly what the little pig is doing. You know all about this little pig guy right away. Yeah. Free Riley. Yeah. Yeah. Free Riley.fund. He talks to the little hippo.

Riley's going to court. That little fucking moody dang man. I'll pump that fucker. I got new device sickness. Just waiting to scratch one of these things. Oh, you got a new phone? I dropped my phone on my computer. Ooh.

And gashed, put a big gash in the front of it. I'm like, okay, well, the computer's done, so I don't care, I'll kick that around. I know, it's like the first fucking dent, the first screen, you're like, ah, can't have nice things, fuck. But the phone, because my last phone, it's like you get a new girlfriend,

you're on your best behavior, like I'm really going to treat this relationship good, I'm not going to fuck it up, and then you fuck it up, and I'm like, all right, I'm just going to go back to being myself, fuck this. Fuck this shit. The last phone I had had a scratch in it, like right in the middle. And it was like three years of me every time I went over it.

Like hot as hell. So yeah, like a testament to my incompetence and carelessness and stupidity or something. All of those. All of them. That's a thorough scratch. I think I went to, I think I just... there's a fine line between, you know, what is an erotic film festival and just watching gay porn with a bunch of gay guys.

Oh, that's the one that was. It was last night. That's right. And last time we went, it's called Humpfest. Uh-huh. Last time we went, it was this freaky collection of like, homemade pornography films. Yeah.

I don't know if the last one was the first one. And they're all shorts, right? They're very short, thank God. Every single one of them is too long. Got it. You know, considering the subject. Yeah. I don't even know why I go, to be honest.

Depravity. Last one was a lot of fun. Tons of chicks. Yeah, I like just being around it. Yeah, I figured, yeah. Tons of chicks there, everyone hooting and hollering, having a good time. There's like a clown porn there. Just some chick with big tits being a clown porn and all kinds of like comedy porns

But last night it went I was expecting more of that last night. It was like a theater with like 12 people. Oh 12 So you're already guys and I shouldn't be here. Like this is this is dirty already like a porn now I shouldn't be here. This is dirty already. This feels like a porn now. If one of you guys leaves, then we're just watching porn together. Nobody could leave. In fact, we need to grab some people from the street.

Maybe the concessions guys can come in here. Stuff some money in their pockets to stay. Yeah. Something has gone terribly wrong here. Now I'm just watching a bunch of gay... Was there a lot more people last year? It was packed. It was fucking packed.

It felt like, you know, like a Lakers game. It was like everyone was, you know, going nuts. You know, if the attendance this year was an indictment on last year or- I don't know. Maybe it was Long Beach last year. Oh, Long Beach. Because COVID had, you know,

COVID, it had been year two of COVID. So they wanted to play it safe and not have the pornography film in LA. Last year, I think it was more, it was more than year two, wasn't it? Year three, right. You know, you can't be too safe. So they didn't have it in LA, they had it in Long Beach.

And I think maybe, I don't know, maybe the gay porn festival just in LA didn't go together or something. Maybe it's inflation is the problem. You know, maybe the gay porn festival just in LA didn't go together or something. Maybe it's inflation is the problem. Things are tight. Yeah. I mean, it costs to get in, obviously. Yeah.

They need to pay people to show up like Family Feud, I think. To get some more people in the audience because it was uncomfortable. But whatever, I guess I can cross that one off the list. What are we talking about? McMahon. You gave it a good shot. Yeah, Vince McMahon. So these journalists are going after him and like the piece de resistance is this woman he paid $200,000 a year to to use like a sex doll, right? Which you know, whatever there's power dynamics and shit and guys are bad guy

But we're talking about an adult woman who wanted to be a prostitute. It's like two hundred thousand dollars I don't know the story. So maybe he's doing some kind of like blackmail shit. I don't know I don't know what he's I don't know what the guy is capable of right? I'm not gonna cosign all that Oh, I know is I love wrestling. Oh, I what I do know. I love wrestling as a kid Yeah, I you know kind of like it as an idea as an adult Yeah, you know and that these motherfuckers these journalists that are leading the charge against him and all these people have tried to ruin Everything I loved including wrestling for my entire life This sounds this is and I know and so it's like oh my god he's such a bad guy. This rape. It's like yeah yeah yeah yeah but you guys were saying this about

steroids which was fucking obvious they're all on fucking steroids. The government tried to end this guy and wrestling as a whole saying Oh steroids is bad for kids like all this they've been doing this for 40 fucking years They've been doing this to me so I kind of- so the like the, oh, he paid this whore $200,000. It kind of rings hollow. It rings false, you know what I'm saying? It's like you guys have been doing this for decades. Look, there are certainly degrees to all of this stuff. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, did he, it's like in one instance, you have him pulling up, snatching a woman off the street and raping her. And two, he entered into a salaried agreement. A notorious scumbag, like a world renowned total scumbag of adult women. I just think there's one is more of a victim than the other.

You can't get me to be on board with like, it's all the same. We same trying to stop you from fucking There's and there's multiple men in all of your lives trying to stop you from fucking up every fucking day So the idea that it's all good that it's all that it's all wrestling's fault But my point is they have been going after him for so long it just becomes like oh This is yet another thing that you guys have to fuck something up because you don't like that me and a bunch of guys like me are having fun watching wrestling you just don't like it it's always that oh man

look at these two roided out muscle dummies clubbing the shit out of each other with chairs and stuff like this is uh uh, we don't like that. You're having fun with this. So actually this is bad for kids bitch I am a fucking kid. Yeah, okay, and it's awesome. I know they're juiced out I don't want to do that watching them get the shit kicked out of them every week makes me want to pay attention in school Like I don't want to be this guy none of us want to be this we want the yeah Look at me. We don't want to be the guy bleeding in a fucking ditch over there. It's a fucking story! What- You're trying to convince everybody that it's fake.

We all know it's fake! We like that it's fake! It's fun! I hope so. Haaaah. It's like fucking crazy. Back in the 80s. Why do you guys go after the eating disorder ladies? You know? Why- Stay the fuck away from wrestling. Just leave him alone! Leave the poor guy alone! Leave him alone!

He's just trying to make people laugh! Fuck! You're making me identify with the rapist! You know? Like yeah, that's awesome. And he goes, it's really, there's so much interesting stuff about the man. The showman, the promoter, the comedian. He's one of the funniest people that's ever been.

Because he took it over from his father, right? Yeah, yeah. And it was basically, wrestling used to be regional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very regional, I mean, what he did to the entertainment aspect, I mean, he made it like this central worldwide thing. Yeah, he made it.

Like, it's kind of unbelievable. He birthed it. Like the American art form of wrestling and like sports entertainment. On like an A-list level. Yeah. As far as attendance and viewership and all that kind of shit goes, it's crazy.

And they've got, there's a couple really interesting, like when he talks about where he got the Vince McMahon character, that swagger and shit. It was, he told this story too, it's based on a guy that was a heel, that was a bad guy when he was a kid that he loved. Oh really, so he took that... He based all this shit on him and that guy, guess what, was also a huge asshole, but the point is there's like, there's interesting parts about him and they just try to steamroll him so hard. It's like, is this a work?

Am I? This is incredible. You guys got so triggered by him. And you guys have been stewing and seething about guys like me having fun for so long that you just bloo- You just cummed all over this shitty documentary trying to take him down. Like, fuck you.

I, you know, the kind of- Now he becomes back. The kind of documentaries that I like don't, and they're exceedingly rare. Yeah. I actually like just information. I don't like- Oh, you mean documentaries.

I don't like actual- You don't like hit pieces. Well, I don't like points of view, necessarily. Like, I want to know everything,, almost as if I'm an alien who just learned about these humans. That's how I like to watch. Tell me about him. You mean you're not? How did he become this way?

What happened to this guy? I want to know. Yeah, yeah. I just want to know all the way around it. Well, now it's all Finding Neverland shit. Like now every documentary's gotta be a bunch of like adult men acting like they're in, having histrionics on camera about imaginary, about imaginary, about their imaginary victimhood.

Or their very real felt victimhood. Like alright man, what is this? You're, you guys are all wrestlers. Why are you fucking crying like this? What is the, maybe you need another shot to your fucking head. CTE. Yeah, exactly. You're... You guys are all wrestlers. Why are you fucking crying like this? Maybe you need another shot to your fucking head. CTE. Exactly.

They even go into the CTE. God, I hate wrestling talk and here I am going into it. They talk about the CTE thing where McMahon said he didn't believe it at all. And then they showed him the science and then he did believe it and started adapting to it and canceling canceling the chair hits. It's like, well that's a good guy. Like you're describing a really responsible business man. That's what you're... yeah. And now it's like I'm sure they probably... Well clearly he knew long before. You know I mean like I'm sure... Nobody knew! I think the like I think the I think some people did but I don't know that it was widespread like... Now

they could like point to the, or the CAT scan, and go like, look, there it is right there. And then you say, oh, okay. Well, the thing is, CTE, they're trying to figure out ways to reliably diagnose it amongst the living. I think still right now, you have to be dead. Oh, really? I know that, I think it's, I want to say,

it's called like the, it's a specific, I think it's, is it Boston University that has the brain bank? I think they call it. What the fuck is a brain bank? It's studying, it's specifically to study the brain. They have brains in there? People's heads?

Okay, they have 94 ex-NFL player brains. They're all dead. 90 of them had CTE. That's the correct, 90 of 94. And it's like your brain's rotting, right? Well, yeah, I mean, it's just, yeah, it's all fucked up. It's completely fucked up. It's all fucked up.

Yeah, it's behavioral issues, cognitive issues. But they can't go after the NFL because there's not one guy. Yeah, what do you mean? They can't go after the NFL because it's not one guy. Right, well, I mean, there have been multiple lawsuits, but I don't know about somebody suing like the NFL. I don't know what those lawsuits are,

but there's definitely been lawsuits and stuff. But there's, besides the fact that like they would get, they'd get doctors to be like, oh no, this, cause they want them to play obviously. So it's like, there's lawsuits about that. I can remember, I can't remember who the NFL player was, but he was saying he joined the lawsuits against doctors Like saying that these drugs were safe when they weren't but he did not he would not join the CTE type stuff

Okay, he's like I know that getting hit in the head is not good. Yeah, it was literally like he's like There was you know buyer beware. I thought that was an interesting take. Because like a doctor is supposed to have your best interest. And when you got these teams, these team hired doctors, they will definitely do things on behalf of the team that you're not supposed to do. But he said, as far as the CTE goes, he goes,

I know that you're not supposed to get concussed. Yeah, well that's how it was for the longest time. I was like, yeah, this is not good for you. But then when the CTE shit came out, I was like, oh, this can be, like, randomly life-ending. This is way, way worse than what you guys are doing than we thought.

And of course, I don't know that... But he got rid of the folding chair heads! Right? That's a fucking staple of wrestling! How much more could this guy do? Yeah, I mean bleeding free fucking journals you goddamn journalists. You never fucking do anything for anybody But terrify them all the modern wrestlers around there They're like terrified to say anything anything good about him

So they got to go to the old retired guy this old black guy. He's like canceled his promoter of all time Yeah, fucking finally. He was, right? I mean, I don't think that's the greatest promoter of all time, there's no controversy in saying that, is there? Well, you wouldn't think so, but you just can't be positive towards someone that's been PNG'd from-

He's the greatest promoter of all time, he's an appallingly poor human being. I mean, I don't know if that's true. No, no, but no, I'm saying- Stan Bish got $200,000. But you can say that. Plot Adventures got fucked for free. You can say that and not get canceled.

I don't like- No, you can't, because they'll clip out the good part and say, John Cena said this about his brand, he's a fucking piece of shit. And then you- And that is the focus of the documentary to me. I'm like, you have these guys and they're terrified of speaking.

You're the bad guy! Bro, that's why the people who are hip to this record everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, trust no one. Make sure it's like, here's the entire context of this. Yeah, that's not enough! That's not enough!

I think the Trump shit, there's good people on both sides, that's been debunked widely and they still say it, you know? There was a wider context to that, yeah. Even like, liberal news debunks that shit. No, I know, I know. You just can't ever erase it for some people. Maddox is, Maddox I think had a thing for Dalish. You know, she's really very very beautiful her face. She's really I'm not usually I don't know that's the last thing I look at when

no she's women but she's very pretty. I love how very pretty. Like she comes in here and then you immediately bring up like oil leaking from Vito's head and then she goes oh great so you tell me just as I'm putting on these headphones and both of us go, oh no, he doesn't use those. Yeah, yeah. I have no idea which one he uses. He uses those. What the fuck? Just like, oh let's move along.

No, no, no, he uses those. You gotta have these instincts as a man. That's called Riz, that's what the kids call Riz. Lying, we called it lying. But now they call it Riz. Uh, so she posted this. Did you guys see me as the news babe for Dick Masterson? Still feels unreal being able to do something this cool.

Uh, heart, heart, uh, uh, emoji. And then here comes, uh, fuckin' Here comes, you know That and that and that that that that that and that and that and that that that Fucking crawling It's crazy. Oh, he got he got see I think he's got a little crush on her or something Some something's caused a major spaghetti meltdown this one under what it was Hey just so you know, Dick, and he uses my real name, of course, obviously. Like how anti-Semites use Jewish people's real names,

not their stage name. That's what Maddox is doing to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very anti-Semitic behavior, dog whistle, whatever he's doing. This is a very anti-Semitic thing that he's doing. Just so you know, like, I don't know, they'll say, like, they'll go after Jack Black, and they'll be like, Jack Herschelstein, you mean? And it's like, ah, come on, buddy, come on. Come on, Maddox, don't be so anti-semitic. Hey, just so you know, Dick is a creepy stalker who doxes people and gave gifts to his followers who made rape threats. He also thinks everyone wants to fuck 17 year olds and has been banned from numerous bars,

comedy theaters in Los Angeles for being a creep. And then he has a, he's got a screenshot of the 8chan board of the infamous rapelist and- Just to be clear, that's... You did not post that. That doesn't write anything like you. No. Lenora Clare, the... Yeah, I remember Lenora. The one who posted with it, she had a

convicted stalker that she was trying to get arrested for years. It was probably him. And he's taken the... the post, the rape threat in the comments, and he's taken the post, the rape threat in the comments, and he's blown it up into a bigger section like to call attention. He's taken a screenshot,

and then the only text on the screenshot, he's blown up to a bigger size, and then he's drawn a giant red arrow to it. Just in case you don't understand the important part to read. I love it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh and then he continued to have let me read some of these meltdowns sit there and wait and just hit and refresh shit all the time just to wait for you to post something or somebody who's associated just saying you know he's giving me a taste of my own medicine. You know? Yeah. Let me see.

You and Jack Conte. Yeah, let me see. I got a bunch of stuff. He made a post about his bicycle. I love bike talk with Maddox. Bike talk. Bicycle talk. He said, he says, oh shit. Let me line this up so you could see it.

Maddox, his two favorite thing, politics and bicycles. I guess, so California governor signs a law banning all plastic shopping bags at grocery stores. Okay. They did? Great, paper, wonderful. With the- Just make everything paper paper with the shitty ass

Poorly glued handles on the paper. Where's that Chinese glue? Well fuck you every time lucky if you got those handles Yeah, I even do handles in some parts you just bunch it over and bag and make your own handle Yeah, Maddox says I guess California's damn fuck governor thinks everyone drives to get groceries. Yeah, he probably does think that. He probably does think that. Now, instead of encouraging people to ride bikes, cyclists are forced to carry giant germ laden burlap sacks everywhere we go while running errands.

What is this bugger doing? He's running errands. Does he have to run? Multiple errands. He has to go file crime reports on me? Then he has to like, he has to go to the bank after he greys like, Oh shit, the groceries are gonna melt. We gotta hurry this up. I gotta go to the bank and uh, uh, ask people to smell their receipts

because I don't have any. Their deposits. I gotta go to the bank and pretend to fill out deposit slips. Oh god. My therapist said it'd be good for me to like imagine what life would be like if I didn't fuck it up. Fake it, fake it till you make it. Hahahaha! What is this fucker? And why did he- My therapist said it'd be good for me to like imagine what life would be like if I didn't fake it Fake it till you make it What is this fucker and why did he and then he posted a picture of his bike Why does he have groceries on the handlebars? Why does he have the things in red like what that's the color of this?

He has bicycle no, I'm holding straps, but but the rest of like Schindler's list. Why did he black and white right like I mean? Why did he why did he? Why did he do that? I know people, I've seen people do that before, like it's a black and white picture of somebody with a guitar and the guitar is in full color and everybody, I get it, but why does it? So he has a black and white picture of his bicycle with grocery bags hanging off the sides, gummy bears and such, and then he's got the little clips that hold the grocery bags on his bicycle handlebars in red yeah yeah to call attention to them I guess right you know they have like they have these things

called baskets for bicycles but that's girly oh yeah that's that that is girly that's right let me see here and he's spurged out that that is girly that's right Let me see here, and then he's spurged out about that god here's he's talking about me going to jail. Oh my god It's uh yeah, let's see here Only when he yeah Does he have an audience at all demented people get sick of that stick pretty quick only when he talks about me I only have an audience when I talk about Maddox. Steals my IP are somehow cons some bigger, some guest bigger than himself. So just about everyone bro, you gotta edit these insults man.

Only when, does Dick even have an audience was the question. Only when he talks about me, steals my IP, or somehow cons some guest bigger than himself, so just about everyone, to come on his obsessive podcast about me. Since he's such a creep, just about all he can book anymore are literal pedophiles and neo-Nazis like Nick Fuentes. And then he has it, he posts a clip of me saying I like Nick Fuentes. That he has on the, like in a folder of screenshots about me. Isn't that crazy?

Uh, I miss when he wasn't a part of the Maddoxverse. Yeah, everyone does, buddy. Uh, he's a terrible person and probably won't stop until he's put in jail. You can, you can ask why Patreon support thinks it's okay for stalkers to continue harassing and using their platform to constantly obsess over Docs and attack people, but they'll probably ignore you. Bro, he's never moving past this. No. No, he's not.

It's gonna be all consuming for the rest of his life. Here is, I don't know if this is funny to people, but it's funny to me, so. I guess I'll read some more of them. My tweet about removing stock- oh yeah, okay. My tweet about removing blocks- Elon Musk said he's gonna remove blocks. Yeah. Uh, whatever, normal people don't care about that shit.

Uh, my tweet about removing blocks got quoted in this article. Although stalkers are already allowed on this platform, just not apparently Alon's. My obsessed stalker had his account reinstated and despite being blocked, still finds ways to screenshot and obsess over everything I do. Sean, I've still found ways around his blocking on Twitter to continue my nefarious obsession I don't know how you do it.

of making fun of your bicycle. Yeah. Baskets or get a car, go ahead and drive to the store. It's LA. If you come here, if you don't have a car in LA, you're fucked. It makes life much harder. The Metro is a containment system.

We try to trick homeless people and criminals onto riding all day. And then one day we'll seal it off. Once we've tricked all of them on there at the same time, we'll just pour concrete on it like Chernobyl and lock them in for a never ending Mr. Bones ride around town. They have no business to do,

so they can live in the subway forever. If you have multiple things to do in a day in LA, you really at all costs have to have a car. Some of the poorest people in LA somehow find a way, if they're just eking out an existence, to drive some old beater because it's so fucking difficult otherwise. You just can't get anywhere. It's crazy. Crazy to suggest otherwise. A 40 minute car ride is a two and a half hour bus ride.

Okay, there's Maddox. He's got something, he's crying about 8chan too. They admitted to it. Fanboy even linked it. He's obsessed with that 8chan shit. I know. It's in my video, dumbass. The guy's name is Ben. Your pedo-defending hero has his full name and address because he sent them gifts.

There's even audio of this. You're all incredibly sad creeps. You're all incredibly sad creeps. Well, you might be right about that, Maddox. We might be. We might be. We might be, but we're not going to jail. That's still legal. Catgirl is in jail still. What did she go and get in jail for? Some kind of domestic violence situation. The woman got arrested, so I don't know.

She must have tuned up her husband pretty bad. Yeah, I mean, it must have been pretty clear, pretty clear evidence that. Yeah, I don't know. But she's been in there. She hasn't. She's been in there for like two weeks. Really? I added money on my, on the prison email system. Yeah.

And she emailed me saying, oh yeah, I've been in here since like the 14th. Cause she can't post bail? She can't post, her husband can't post bail for her and I guess she has no friends. She's married? Yeah. Oh wow. Um... So I don't know, if there's anybody in Bexar, Texas, please go bail out...

It's 250 bucks too. For a matter of $250. Yeah, I was like, you don't have a friend with $250? God damn. And you're a woman? Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

I got to bail her out. I guess I'm on a bailout streak this year. Oh yeah, really? Yeah. I bailed Riley out and I gotta bail out the cat girl. Like look, honey, you're... I mean, you've... The voicemail she sent me about Domatic's dirty bomb shit is worth it. Oh, yeah, you've been teasing this. I know, but now she's in jail. I gotta get her out before I can do the dirty bomb.

You're the worst. I learned it from Vince McMahon yeah yeah yeah yeah can you imagine being stuck in jail for $250 no I don't want to I don't think that's been leaking is it no everybody can get $250 somewhere that's like trailer park boys level yeah of crisis yeah that's like like $250 okay you'll go down like sell your plasma like you know I mean like give somebody a handjob you can't like how you how you're not getting $250? Okay, go down, like sell your plasma. Like, you know, I mean like... Give somebody a handjob. You can't, like, how are you not getting $250? You got, I mean, she...

Nobody has $250 that you know? What the fuck? Yeah. Ugh. Okay, yeah. I gotta bail her out just to hear that story. Well, I guess so. She said she could call in from jail.

Like, oh, that's a little sad she could call in from jail. $250. That's a little sad. That's really the number? $250? Yeah. That just doesn't seem real. I know! It's just cause like you would think that no matter how you act in life, there's probably

still like one or two people who will still talk to you. Yeah for $250! And even if it's like, oh wow what's your bail like 10 grand? $250. What? The PlayStation's more than that. If it's like, DINNER IS MORE THAN THAT! Here's $250, don't ever talk to me again.

This buys you out of my life. Because like even somebody who doesn't like something is like, I can't let him sit in jail for 250 bucks. The object of life is to get people that will give you an increasing amount of money. However you want to see life, the basic goal is to get more people who at any moment will give you more money. Not that you will cash it in, not that you need this money,

not that you should be weighing them against each other or anything like that, but you should be able to call somebody and say, can you give me some money? I need it. And then the next year, you should be able to call more people and say, can you give me some money? I need it. And then the next year, you should be able to call more people and say, can you give me more money than that? You know? It's really, like, it's very... It's a nihilistic way to phrase it, but... You have failed.

If that is not the outcome of your life, you have messed up. I get it. You know? Because all the enemies that I have made over the years, I have increased that number and that amount of people. No matter what. You're saying because as people that you know

or whatever you associate with, they also become more and more successful. And you can go like, hey, I'm in a fucking bind. Yes, I'm in a bind. This person who five years ago wouldn't have been in position. Yeah, yeah, hey, I'm in a fucking bind. Yes, I'm in a bind. This person who, you know, five years ago I have a business I want to start. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's, yeah. Mm, mm, mm, mm. I get it. Here's Russell Brand baptizing, look at this. He's just completely nuts, right? I mean, he's, I mean, this is just like the, this is the con of, this is the oldest con in the world. Look at him in his tiny white brand underwear.

What the fuck? He's baptizing people, he's pretending to be Jesus, which I would think Christians would have a big fucking problem with, but you know, he's a celebrity so they don't. I would have a- if I was Christian, I would have a big fucking problem with this. I would think that gatekeeping something, where people have a tendency to abuse the vulnerable and become messianic figures and cult leaders

I think that would be a big fucking priority to me, but it's apparently not because he's a celebrity Well, you know well that's we put celebrity on you know, I mean stupid me I don't understand Christianity so in my world do you I think well even if you're just one Christian and the entire world is not That's still a win for you, right? Yeah, it's not about it's not about getting people to half do shit It's not a numbers game. Is it I'm pretty sure fucking not is that supposed to be? Yeah, I don't understand why he's wearing the underwear though Like why not why not wear trunks like well, I don't know. I mean it looks more Jesus more Jesusy I was just gonna say I wear nothing Jesus on the Your underwear is the last thing you'd want wet.

Jesus on the cross, you know? Yeah. Yeah, why don't you have like a little crown? Yeah. Oops. Oh, sorry. I got a little crown on me. He's got a bun of thorns. He's got a bun. Did Jesus have a man bun? Of thorns, yeah.

Did they not have- yeah, a man bun of thorns. Yeah. I have a scrunchie of thorns. Scrunchie of thorns. Look at this shit. What the fuck is he- Look at this shit! Yeah, I have a scrunchie of thorns scrunchie of thorns Yeah, this shit what the fuck is shit All right, we're gonna go ahead and baptize you You're a black guy so we need two people to dip you in the in the lake Oh, God, you're not gonna be able to swim your way out if something goes wrong

You can't see it. You can't see it there, but in the in the main there's a dog It's just looking like what the fuck are they doing? What are you idiots doing with that black guy? Yeah. Uhhh, am I gonna need to... Do I need to jump in there and save somebody? Do I need to bite that black guy? Did I fuck up? No. Definitely you guys fucked up. He's got this miffy...

He's like, I'm not going in the water anywhere near Russell Brand. Why does he have white penis showing underwear in the water? Why not wear board shorts, bro? You're not Jesus. Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. Is he sure? Yeah, no.

He's not. I know. Dude, he's doing like weird, he's like doing weird miracle shit, like performing marriages and shit on people and being like a counselor, being a therapist. The whole thing makes me fucking sick. He's sick, yeah. I hated Dr. Phil for this shit, and now I got a whole new fucking,

I got a whole fucking army of con artists like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn it! Look at this shit, he's got Gremley from Lord of the Rings over here. Little midget helping him dunk. Dunk this dude. Dunk.

And who's wearing, it looks like a full turtleneck. Now what is going on with this? It's got a wet salon. What's going on with the wardrobe? Yeah, I know, it looks like a, yeah, it looks like a full turtleneck. Now what is going on with this? I've got a wetsuit on! What's going on with the wardrobe? Yeah, I know, it looks like a, yeah, it looks like a- You guys are supposed to be wearing fucking robes. But like, is this fit, is he doesn't, he hasn't been baptized so he doesn't have enough faith to keep warm or something? The wetsuit is the devil. And everybody else is- To protect him from the devil. Well, God keeps me warm. I can go in here with, you know, I don't know where this is,

some river somewhere, but- I just know, I don't know where this is, some river somewhere, but. I just know, I know that he's selected these underwear to show off his penis. He obviously knows he's gonna be photographed, right? I mean, like. Yeah, he hired them for Jesus. This is for Jesus. You couldn't find me one worse Christian than this.

I mean. Fucking pretending to baptize people in tidy white brand underwear. Oh man, foot with your penis outside of the water. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. All right. That's just great.

The Federal Reserve said that hurricanes will boost economic activity over the long run. That's interesting, because that's the dumbest. We've got to build shit or whatever. That's called the broken window fallacy. Perhaps you remember another moron who said that that's good for the economy. Breaking a bunch of shit. Was that part of it? The broken window fallacy. That was Maddox's idea.

Yeah, no, I remember. He described how breaking a window would be good for the economy, not realizing that it's called the broken window fallacy. You're describing a situation that it's named after. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's nice. The long run effect of these disasters, unfortunately, is actually it lifts the economic activity because you have to rebuild all the things

that have been damaged by the storms. Bro, you should not be anywhere near finance if you're talking like this. Well, that's not the way to do it. Oh, it's good! What?! With the rest of it, we can't figure anything out, so like, yeah sure, like just let... Fire him, kill him. Not in that order.

Yeah. The guy running your... the guy running our bank said it's... hurricanes are good for the economy? What?! That explains a lot, actually. We're in very... we're in deep shit. We're in deep shit. We're in deep shit. Yeah, let's see. He didn't think near-term economic...

Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, Fed policy, fuck you. Minneapolis is the first major US city to broadcast the Islamic call to prayer five times a day. Oh my God, that's got to be annoying as fuck. It always gets worse. Well, they have a lot of Muslims in there. Cause they have a lot of- No, not a Muslims should excuse a 5 a.m. Oh, every day.

They should all know. Like they all, like, I mean, they have modern technology. Muslims? Muslims have cell phones too, you know? Oh yeah. Like, I mean, can't they set- Why do you need a big siren for it? Right, isn't there like an alarm

that's like a call to prayer, like, you know? Yeah, but they need, I mean, can't they set- Why do you need a big siren for it? Right, isn't there like an alarm that's like a call to prayer? Like, you know. Yeah, but they need, the thing about Muslims and Christians, honestly, every religion, is that they need everyone to celebrate it at all times. And trans shit, honestly, they need everyone to be celebrating the shit all day, every day, or they can't fucking sleep.

So Muslims having the call to prayer in their own home is not good enough. It's gotta be city-wide. You don't think so? Oh no, I mean, it'd be annoying to, I mean. Annoying as fuck! Because back in the day, there was an actual prayer caller guy.

Now I think they just broadcast it from the top of whatever. You mean for Muslims? Well, I mean, now, like in Muslim countries or whatever, don't they just like play it over us over speakers throughout the city or something? It's like an air raid siren. It's a fucking nightmare, dude. It's like smoke detector chirping down in Compton, like all over Dubai. You are fucking you're not serious. And it's five times a day.

Five times a day. Let me let me pull up this article. Yeah, Muslim prayer. Am I in the, oh no, I'm on the comments again. Whoops. Yeah, that's so funny about Minnesota, right? Remember the- Shit's on PBS too, so I know it's true. 1984 presidential election, right?

Yeah. Ronald Reagan versus Walter Mondale from Minnesota. Right. I don't think this will ever happen in this country again. Ronald Reagan won 49 states. Mondale won his home state of Minnesota. That means the most liberal states in the union all said Reagan.

Yeah. That blows my mind. Like, the country could go, yep, that guy, not that guy. I'm sure there were some close races, but he still, he won Minnesota. Yeah, I mean, the demographic of the country was very different then. If the demographic of the country was still like it was in 1984, the elections would be exactly the same. It would be Trump versus Mecca Trump. That's what I mean. I don't think it'll ever happen again. It's just so different.

It's so different. No. Minneapolis will allow broadcast the Muslims call the prayers at all hours. Yeah, okay. The cities, they unanimously agreed to amend the noise ordinance, which had prevented dawn and late evening calls at certain times of the year due to noise restrictions. So they lifted the restrictions, which were in place for good reason. People be annoyed.

Like we have certain concert venues because they're actually in neighborhoods. You can't, after 10 p.m. or something like that. So it's like they have to start them in... Like, because yeah, people fucking live there. The Constitution doesn't sleep at night, said Jalaymi Hussein, executive director of the Minnesota chapter. Oh man, you fucking cocksuckers.

After the vote, he said, actually Minneapolis shows the world that a nation founded on the freedom of religion makes good on its promise. Oh man, oh man. I'm sure it will be very- Come on, my- I'm sure it will be annoying. I'm sure it will be annoying to me. You fucking white people.

Okay, I got- Oh, Will Ferrell's trans movie. Did you see that? No. Will Ferrell had some really entertaining comedy jokes about his trans movie. Oh really, was he in trouble? Oh, no.

No, okay. I've always hated Will Ferrell. Oh really? Now I can finally say it. Now I can finally come out. I've never thought he was funny. Step Brothers is amazing. Yeah, it's good.

But it's because of John C. Reilly. Will Ferrell sucks, he's always sucked. Always, I hate him and I hate all of his fans. I mean, I like some of his movies. Me too, but I hate him. Will Ferrell. I never thought much about him as like a, I never really read it like they're, you know, politics or when they get on a soap box or anything like that. Like, I haven't seen anything he's done in a long time because is he doing stuff. For some reason he made a movie about him and his trans buddy who's a comedy writer. Yeah. They go on a road trip and like try to prove that, I mean, I don't even know what, I don't know what experience we're intended to

view through this lens of the mental illness of comedy writers and celebrity and fame and privilege. I don't know what I'm supposed to take away from this. It would be like, you know, the Kardashians are, it would be like when Paris Hilton did that thing where she did normal jobs. Like, well, I'm just laughing at a famous person getting degraded. I think some of these people, I think some of these people, I think some of these people who are really famous and have been famous and had successful careers

for a long time, I think some of them absolutely believe that they're still in touch. With people, like Jim Carrey. They just don't, they really, it happens kind of slowly in a way, like they really don't deal with the kinds of thoughts that the average person does

every day. They can't be as in touch as they think they are. I know it's like, like hearts in the right place on some of them, but like this actually looks really bad. Because you're so far removed from just the average person, especially in America at this point, now. Will Ferrell says, if the trans community is a threat to you,

then it stems from not being confident or safe with yourself. I'm pretty sure women are afraid of getting their ass kicked. Well, I'm pretty sure that's their fear. I'm sure some are. Cause I know that's their fear with men.'m that's like nine out of their ten thoughts of men and the last ten thought is about how they can extract money from us yeah I

get that I think he's talking about a like an internal you know like what you're like speaking to men I think is what this is what that's the kind of what that you would say to men. What are you actually afraid you're gay? Are you afraid you're gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you're so, you know. And the answer to that is yes.

Yes, I'm afraid I'm gay. In a lot of cases. Yeah, where it's like, oh yeah, you're really uncomfortable. It takes a lot of work for me to brainwash myself into pursuing women, because there's such a pain in the ass. So yeah, I'm afraid if I just like sleep for a minute

and just be gay, then I won't ever do it again, because it's a lot of work. But this is why I say I hate him and he's not funny. Because the, yes, I am threatened as, and little boys are all threatened by just saying shit that they think and making jokes and being funny and getting stamped out by the whatever feminist led victim narrative complex that will come in and fuck up your life and take everything away from you because you made a fucking joke

that they didn't like. You made a joke about trans people, you made a joke about women, you made a joke about fat women, you made a joke about somebody that they don't like, they'll ruin your fucking life. It's not about being confident or safe with yourself, it's for all the little boys out there that are having to- that are- I know a friend of mine, not my wife, friend of mine, teacher at a low income school, they got two trans teachers this year. One passes very well, one does not. You think the middle school kids are dealing, are coping with this well? The answer is no. They're middle school kids. They're poor boys in middle school. They refer

to the one that doesn't pass as the thing. And this is a daily fucking issue for them. And you know what? That is what, like, that is what kids do. That's what kids do. It doesn't mean they're all bigots, they're all horrible people. It doesn't mean they're bad, that's what kids are doing. Kids are, they don't, they also don't understand, like, how mean something can be. That's the, their brains are done. They do understand that that person, that adult is choosing to do this. Choosing to be in this room, choosing to do all this shit.

They fucking know that. They're not choosing to be there. Kids want to make, they have to be there. They want to make their friends laugh. They want to do this choosing to be in this room choosing to do all this shit. They fucking know that They're not choosing to be there kids have to be there. They want to make their friends laugh They want to do all exactly you better have some fucking thick skin if you are I mean some armor You should go back to being a man if you need it's uh, you know It's really fucking aggravating to see if you have a problem with this because you're not you're not confident with yourself The boys who are confident with themselves are getting fucking stamped out by this Gestapo shit that you're forcing everybody to swallow I get I get that the the only one like the way that I read that is He's talking to other white men his age. That's our- Who are rich celebrities. Like it's like- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like that's, again, part of that is like, you're not thinking all the way around something. You guys have a problem with this? No, I don't give a shit. Poor middle, grade school or middle school kids or whatever, like- Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna make jokes.

They're making jokes. Yeah. And you're making it, you're making it just a daily nightmare for them. You are, this is the one in a long series of fucking with boys. Fucking with their brains, fucking with the brains of little boys,

teenage boys, and young adult men. This is yet another thing you're doing to them, and it's got nothing to do with trans shit. It's just you can't, you won't, you won't let them be themselves. Of course, this is all from the headline. Oh no, no, no, no, there's more goofy shit he says. I know, but I love how we got a riff for fucking 10 minutes on the headliner.

I think we fear what we don't know. No, we know! We know what it is. Well, but as a general statement I agree. Yes. That's a DNA thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a, it keeps you safe thing. I also know that one of these one of these a lot of these trans people are doing nefarious assaulting shit to women We know that will not all of them but but some of them I have no idea what stats are on that the trans sex assault is Disproportionately more is it yeah, ah Let me see here Friendship blah, blah, blah, blah.

There's a hatred out there, Farrell told the Independent. It's very real, and it's very unsafe for trans people in certain situations. OK. Like domestic violence situations, you mean? Yeah. But I don't know why trans people are meant to be threatening to me as a cis male.

They're definitely not. They're definitely not. They're definitely not. You are a 6'3 white man, nothing, there's maybe an orca or a grey white shark or a black bear is threatening to you. Or the federal interest compound interest rates are threatening to you. Nothing else is. He is admitting it's through his filter. Oh yeah. See, he's, and is admitting it's through his filter. Oh yeah.

See, he's, and again, He's gaslighting. Well, he's not, but he's not, I don't think he, it doesn't sound like he's able to put himself in the position of somebody who isn't him. Yeah. Like, because that's how, that like, That's why he's not funny.

See, that's, I feel exactly the same way, but I'm an over six foot tall white man. Like I'm not, so like, but like not everybody is. I'm not even afraid of alcohol, the most deadly substance in the world. Not everybody is. So it's like, that's just, you get so, you know, everybody sees the world through their own filter.

It's just how much. You say you made a movie that white adult men are not threatened by trans people? Yeah, no shit. It's so strange to me because Harper is finally her Yeah, did she's finally who she was always meant to be whether or not you can ultimately wrap your head around that Why would you care if somebody's happy? I don't I I do I hate other people experiencing happy. That's it makes me sick I know yeah, even people that I like right if I hear Ashley. Yeah I like mmm I still don't like it that it's that you're happy I

like it fair enough I dislike it less than people I despise yeah but it's that's the biggest that is the worst thing that haunts me well you can sleep you can sleep soundly at night knowing that I am definitely not happy. Why is that threatening to you? If the trans community is a threat to you, it stems from not being confident. No, it comes from having a fucking bank account, bro, and not wanting to lose it,

and already having lost so much to making jokes that are not acceptable. Okay, let me call this lovely young man that I've got lined up for today. Let me call this lovely young man that I've got lined up for today. Um, Colin Schumacher. I think it's Shoemaker. Or Sho-Mocker. I don't know.

Probably Shoemaker. It's easier. It depends if he's German or not. Or his spelling. Like Michael Shoemaker. Okay, here we go. Uh, dope. Uh oh, here comes the sweats.

Uh oh. I think this hangover might be nipping at my ass, Sean. Hello. What's up? Hey, what's up, man? Is this Colin Shoemaker? You know it. What's up, buddy? How you doing?

I'm doing well. How are you guys? Good. Good. Great. I'm not hung over. Not at all. I found my, I interrupted my hangover before sobering up.

It's a good day for me. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not hung over either. Congratulations. That makes three of us. That's good.

Hey, what do you think of that little hippo? That moo-dang little hippo? What's that? That's a little baby hippo. Good answer. Do you hate it like me? Okay. So you're, I first discovered you with your really amazing.

It's one of the few things that I, that I derived joy from in the year that I saw. It's your game show. What is it called? The Predator one? The newly-ped game. The newly-ped game where you surprise pedophiles. You surprise pedophiles.

You know I love, I'm in at the name. Like that's, yeah. I've been consistent about that on this show yeah you can get me with that you surprise pedophiles with their like they're trying to fuck kids and you show up and you give them a game show or else you call the police if they can't answer your your questions that's right let me load one up it's like the worst saw ever newly pet. Okay, I'm going to play this one for everybody to get them up to speed on how funny this is.

This is your... Okay. That sending a picture of your pants to a minor is an advance on them. Do you send pictures of your pants to your mother? No. You're in the newly-ped game. If you answer three out of five questions correctly, correctly they're trivia questions we won't call the police Ashton! How's it going man? How you doing?

Your name's Ashton? Yes you are. We can get the police involved if you'd like. You're in the newly pet game. If you answer three out of five questions correctly, the trivia questions, we won't call the police. Does that sound fair to you? Sounds fine. What is the name of Michael Jackson's ranch? Oh my god. Wow, come on

Branch Jackson, I think I'm sorry. The correct answer is Neverland correct answer was Neverland All right is your second question. What was the name of Jeffrey Epstein's plane? Yeah, you don't know this Okay, let me express. That's too incorrect already. What is your last name? Michael your last name is Michael. I'm gonna need to see ID to prove that that was correct. Okay, so Michael's not my actual last name, but that's why I prefer to go by.

Okay, well what is your actual last name then? McFarland. Can I see the ID? Oh my God. Ashton Michael McFarland. Oh, not Michael's your middle name, I gotcha. This is gonna be your fourth question What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? I don't know what that is. Not a big Monty Python

He's only phone smart. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. Oh man Colin what? What drove you to do the shirt? Wait, what shirt? Where do you keep playing that did you show the shirt? Wait, what shirt? Where? If you keep playing that episode, I tell him he's not gonna go empty-handed, I made him a shirt.

Okay, let me keep playing it. Sorry, man. But don't worry, we won't let you go empty-handed. We got you a nice shirt here. It says, I tried to meet a child for sex and all I got was this lousy shirt. This is for you. You can take that if you want.

You want it? Okay, well the police are on their way. No, I don't really have much need for s**t. Where did you meet this person? Grindr, I guess? You met this person on Grindr. And what is Grindr? Technically it's a social, but it's mainly for hookups.

But I don't really hook up. You bring condoms? I don't carry condoms on me, because like I said, I'm not really sexually active. You're not sexually active? It's probably in his pockets. You can check my pockets, they're clean. I don't want to touch you, man. I don't think anybody does. But you sent pictures of your penis to a to a miner.

They're not actually, well, kind of mine, but not fully. Oh no! Wait, wait, they're kind of miney, but not fully? The penis pictures are not all his? Yeah. Okay, can you turn him up? Yeah, what does he have, like, they're kind of mine, but not re- How do you-

Yeah, what do you mean by that? How is it kind of your penis? Is that like kind of pregnant? Yeah, so, he was saying that? How is it kind of your penis? Is that like kind of pregnant? Yeah, so he was saying that some of them, some of the pictures were like someone else's and then some of them were of his. Okay. Do they look, do you have the penis pictures?

Were you posing as the- No. Okay. Not on that one. On that one, one of the people that I was with was the one posing as the kid. But yeah, I mean, I do have about a hundred or so pictures of pedophiles' penises if you'd like to see them.

I don't know if I need to see them. Could you describe them in one word if you had to? Pick them out of a line up. Disgusting. them in like one word if you had to pick them out of a line up yeah what made you create this this sensational game show I started it as a stand up bit whereas like Chris Hansen would always be like I just have a couple questions for you yeah and I was like it'd be funny if those questions were totally unrelated to them trying to fuck kids. Yeah. And then, and then it just like the bit evolved into me doing a game show.

And then, and then I was hanging out with my buddy, RJ Rice, and he's the camera guy on a lot of these. And I wanted to go do a thing that was a meal or no meal and go ask trivia to the homeless people. And like, if they get it right, then I would feed them. If they get it wrong, that I don't see them. Yeah. But he was like, he was like, that sounds too dangerous. He didn't think we were going to catch it. Right. Yeah, they're going to take it.

Yeah. So we got on sniffies. It's like a I figured they call, like a surfing app or something. Like for gay guys? It's called a cruising app. Yeah. Yeah. For gay guys. And it's just like a map of dicks in your area. And we we we matched with a guy and he was down to be like a I think 13 year old in like

dude, like five minutes. Jesus. Within like five, and he's like oh my god are you uncut? Are you really uncut? He was like freaking out. Oh god. And he was like 50 some. That was the one in the blizzard.

Okay. That was the first episode. He met you in a blizzard? Yeah. He was down. God damn. That uncut 13 year old penis. Did they ask you to say come out in a blizzard?

They must really, I mean I wouldn't go in a blizzard to fuck a woman. They must really love little boys, you know? Oh yeah. They're desperate to fuck a little boy Are you worried that they're gonna like kill you You know the I was there was a couple times that I was a little stressed out for sure So the second guy that I caught Totally unrelated to me catching him. of course, I take no responsibility

for the actions or behaviors of any contestants on the Milliped game. He a week after I caught him, he blows brains out. Is that their take home gift? Like the play at home game? A revolver? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So I was a little stressed after that one. I was like, oh man, why didn't he just kill me? Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. Yes. Yeah. So that was a little stressful.

But other than that, I mean, nothing, nothing really too crazy. Just like threats of lawsuits and stuff. People were like saying they're going to sue, but obviously, you know, and also I do call the police on all of them they do clarify yeah yeah like yeah the game show is just a funny thing to me but they're the cops are on the way as soon as we start walking out I don't know if you're how many times do you have to do that because remember the quiz game that show where they were they were rigging the results so they got investigated by the FTC or something

Yeah, you better be careful if you're telling them that you're not calling the cops if they answer the trivia He said he called the cops in that one. Oh, oh, yeah, but you know what? I'm making a joke about Yeah, okay, so I would joke Well, can you can you walk us us through the way you hunt these guys? I generally don't like the pedophile hunting content. Yeah. Because it seems like it's gotten like saturated to a point where guys are now just staging it

and showing up and like kicking the shit out of the pedophile. Lots of people are staging everything. Yeah, but yours is, it's such a fresh take on a... It's just the name. Yeah, the name's a good part of it too. The content's a bonus. The name is good. I'm good with the name.

Yeah, can you walk us through how you do this and how you get these guys? Okay, so I've definitely, I've used a few different strategies to get them So when I run the decoy I use whisper now I don't know if you guys know whispers, but it's Files we don't know sure sure. Hey, that's fair It's just like it's like an app where you like type out words and then it auto generates a photo behind it

And you post it and it's just like posted in your area for other people on the app Really? Okay. Huh? Yeah, so I'll be like I'll just post on there like gotta see in math. My parents grounded me And then if people start, you know messaging and yeah the last how old I am Like, gotta see in math, my parents grounded me. And then if people start, you know, messaging and yeah, they'll ask how old I am pretty early. And then I'll move them to, I'll move them over to texting me and then I'll just be texting them and, and I try to act as innocent as possible. Like I've talked to the police a lot about this and like, have kind of figured out what's

needed to actually get convictions to avoid, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't, like when you're messaging them, you can't like start any of the sexual talk, they have to. Cause it's like entrapment or something. Yeah, yeah, basically like the case would be thrown out. If like you go about it in an unethical way.

Yeah. What if you typed, what if you typed like got a C in math that a parent's grounded me and it just generates children's dick pics. See these nuts. Sorry, go ahead. Yeah.

I think the creators of whisper would be going to prison. Yeah. But, yeah, so you just like, you know, you just message them and you're like, oh yeah, I'm just fucking bored sitting in my room and they're like, oh, you want to see my dick? Just like that. That's literally how it happens. So it's, the fishing is easier than you think I guess. They jump into the boat it sounds like.

Yeah like the fucking Sesame Street. We had this guy, this guy would call into this show who, he was a criminal. He would do kind of what you're saying and then he would meet up with the pedophiles and make them go to the ATM and do the max withdraw. And then take their money and kick the shit out of them. He wasn't doing it for content at all. Yeah I remember now. draw and then take their money and kick the shit out of them. He wasn't doing it for content at all. Yeah, I remember. No.

Yeah. But apparently it's quite easy to do that. Oh yeah, man. It sure seems to be. Yeah. So the cops are, they support you? I would hope they would, kind of. Yeah, generally they're like, they've told a few different because I've gone to different like areas doing it

So every every police station is different but a lot of the a lot of the ones out here like really chill about it and they like You know, they'll they'll say like it's very dangerous Like these guys will like fucking shoot their way out if they yeah, they don't see any other way Yeah, but I mean I yeah He's like Batman Some cops are he's he's you know, he's bad He works outside the law, but it's like a few guys are like, yeah

The Batman is like the fantasy where it's like violent criminals and thugs in real life bad man It's just like pretending to be a little boy who's grounded and getting pictures of cocks from like adult 50 year old men. That's the real Batman's life. Yeah. And then when they show up, I say, you have two options. You can either fuck me right now

or I'm calling the cops on you. That's a lot of pressure. Has anybody ever got the trivia questions right? Yeah, the first guy got the questions right, but also like we wrote the questions on the drive over. It was like a five minute drive over. Oh yeah, okay. So you got to make it harder. Yeah. And we also didn't, so for the first guy, we didn't know what we were doing. So we went to the police the day after and like just turned over all the evidence and then they do their own, they did their own investigation after. I'm not sure what happened with that,

but yeah, like, um, usually, usually now though, we like, we have the chat logs, like we just hand our phone over cause like when the cops show up when the cops show up you just hand them your phone and they just like make like a whatever They just take everything off of it. Yeah Do how many how many times do the cops show up when the person is still there? Yeah They're still there. Yeah. During the show. During your game show. Um, they've never, they're usually, they usually take about 30 to 45 minutes to show up. So like I can't, and I'm not legally allowed to keep the people there. Like it, like when they're there, like they're there, they're in a cord and I tell them that. But the cops have never showed up while I was like in the middle.

Because the game show only takes like 10 to 15 minutes. And they stay there the whole time? Oh yeah. Why? Yeah, they play the game through. Why do you think that is? I think it's because they think they can get out of it. Get out of what?

Like getting out of the cops coming? Yeah, they think the cops won't come if they answer trivia questions. Yeah, I've noticed that about, you know, Alex Rosen, the I Fight for Kids guy? Yeah, he's amazing. He's the best. Dude, he really is.

Sean, I launched one of his videos. He does the same thing, but he talks to the pedophiles when they show up. Right. And he has like a, it's not like a Chris Hansen style. Like I judged it before watching it, but he's very, he really walks them through incriminating themselves completely.

Yeah. And he's not threatening. It's like a complete Wow. Completely. Yeah. And he's not threatening. It's like a complete confession on tape. Yeah, yeah. And he like gets into their psychology too. It's really interesting content. Yeah.

And I don't think it's like- He's a master manipulator. Yeah, he really is. And he's gigantic. So- Yeah. So even the biggest pedophile can't, you know, take him down. Right, right, right.

Yeah, sorry, I'm sorry. What were you saying about the... It was something about the cops. Interrupted. What? Did I say something? I don't know. I thought you were... For the game show, have you thought about, like, having a set that you can bring in?

Like, with a cop? I did want to... I also wanted to have, like, almost like a flash mob audience. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Right. And I feel like the best, I feel like the best way to do it would be, I spent like in Utah to have like, like a hundred black people surround the pedophile and then the fight. And then the final question, the final question is just like, say it. Oh God.

Say the N-word or I'm calling the cops on you. It's a diehard sandwich board. Yeah. You gotta say the N-word or I'm gonna... So it's like Fear Factor almost, but for pedophiles. Yeah. Oh no, dude. I'm the new fucking Rogan. Holy shit. factor almost but for pedophiles

Together and like pit them against each other somehow. Oh Dude, yeah the pet olympics that'd be fun Yeah, cuz you could do anything to pedophiles and people will cheer it, you know, no amount of cruelty. Yeah. Yeah I'm not trying the only thing is like I I'm trying to like not be not do illegal stuff myself. Oh Yeah, it's a good idea Tends to shorten your career when you do a lot of illegal stuff. Yeah, when can we see this on Netflix? That's what I want to know. Yeah, that would be fucking awesome fucking crazy Can you get some of that Russian money like that

Tim pool money and get it on one of their platforms I don't know rub rumble should be fucking paying for this they had that stupid slap fight shit huh yeah yeah they won't though what's the what's the steak right the the gambling app why doesn't the get what have they Oh, yeah, I want I want $18 send me a t-shirt worth $18 and I will wear it when I catch a pedophile. You got to do the flash mob thing. You don't think more people would bolt? If a bunch of people show up all of a sudden like I mean I would think the likelihood of somebody bolting would be higher.

You know, I don't- Probably. You think so? Yeah, sure. They never seem to bolt. They always just sit there and, like something's wrong with them. Well- You know, I don't know what it is. Well, I mean, in your experience, I mean, some people have to take off on you, right?

Yeah, so the guy who blew his brains out, he took off on me. Yeah, makes sense. The gun store before it closed. Yeah. Man, imagine your comedy. Imagine your comedy making somebody kill themselves. Sean, that's got to be like cutting edge. That's good. Pushing boundaries. That's a real goal. Imagine your comedy making somebody kill themselves. Sean, that's gotta be like... Cutting edge.

That's good. Oh dude, yeah. Pushing boundaries. That's a real goal. All right. There was one in the fucking guy with alopecia. He looked like Ryan Shazer or something. Okay.

He walked away, but we walked with him, but he had a long walk back to his car But yeah, that was that was that was the only other one that I remember like where they actually ran Let me find let me play another one for people Where's the blizzard one? Do you have that on your tik-tok or something? Yeah, it's on it should be on my it should be pinned on my Twitter And I think it's pinned. Like, Peto Braves Blizzard.

You got a bunch of other, like, you got other funny shit. Your trading card stuff's really funny. The 9-11 stuff's really funny. But this, this, this pedo game show is just, I can't stop thinking about it. It's so funny. Oh, man. There he is. Oh, it's Shoemaker. Uh, oh yeah, okay. He's just I can't stop thinking about it. It's so funny There he is

Oh, yeah, okay, Pito Braves Blizzard to meet child and walks into a game Fucking suit like Sam Hyde have you ever talked to Sam Hyde? Does he know about this? This seems like it'd be right up his alley. I did talk to Sam Hyde at Skankfest last year. Mm-hmm. Um, and uh, he was not interested in- in catching pedophiles. He said he would rather catch someone being autistic. Oh. And that was- Oh.

I guess I could kind of see that. Oh well. Great! The Samhite's fucking hilarious. Both can exist, Sean. You know? We can make fun of autistic people and pedophiles in different ways. Everything doesn't always have to be at the same time.

You know? All these things can coexist. Many things can be true. Many things can be true, yeah. Okay, here's Peddo., uh, Braves of Blizzard. Jesus Christ. You're walking in your suit to this fucking, uh, family feud music to meet a pedophile in a blizzard. Alright. What's that?

The way down here is terrible, isn't it? Yeah, it is. What's your name? My name's Bill. Bill, nice to meet ya. Nice to meet you too. I'm Colin. I'm the guy you saw the pictures of. Uh-huh. Yeah.

What are you doing out here today? Nothing, just come out here to say hi to somebody. Just came out here to say hi to somebody. Yeah. Nothing. That somebody's me. Those are pictures of me as a child. So you're here to meet a child, huh?

No, I'm not here to meet a child. Oh, you're here to meet a child. No, I'm not. We have all the pictures. Look, we'll call the police immediately if you don't stand here. Do a child? We have all the pictures. Look, we'll call the police immediately. If you don't stand here, do a little interview with us. Okay.

Okay. Does that sound fair? Fair. Fair. Alright. Have you ever done this before? No, I haven't. This is the first time you've ever tried to meet a child for s**t?

Yes. Really? Oh, God. It's called the newly-ped game. You had to get three out of five of these questions correctly. We're going to call the police, okay? Okay. In 2017, the Philadelphia- This is, so you're in Utah.

I'm reading the thing here. Um, wow, man. Oh, nothing. It's not a popular- Imagine how many pedophiles you would catch in LA. Out here to say hi to someone. In a blizzard, yeah. That's what he said.

Yeah. What are you doing out here, nothing? What did you say? Hey, meet, it's, meet me In a blizzard. Yeah. What are you doing out here, nothing? What did you say? Hey, meet me in a blizzard. Yeah. He's just like, couldn't you like meet in like a, I don't know, under some kind of covering? Yeah.

Well, so he said that he, so he lived in, that was like at a, that was at a buffet parking lot. He lived behind the buffet in like the apartment complex over there. So I was telling him I wanted to meet him in public a little bit. And then it started snowing while we were driving over. And we only waited for like 10 minutes and we just see him just fucking meandering up. And yeah. And what did this guy say on the email on the text chain though?

Yeah. What was he saying on the tech? Because you said he they have to offer it first, right? In order to be in like compliance. You can't say, hey, I'm 13 want to, you know, look at my asshole. Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, all he was saying saying was like are you really uncut cuz like on this sniffies app you like You had to describe your penis

so so We're uncut or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, that's the map of dicks We gotta download that thing, Sean. Everyone's taking two like around me. Yeah. So, yeah, so they were like, what did he say? He said something like, are you really uncut? Like, he said he loves sucking uncut.

And then he was just like, where are you? And we said that we were like in Murray or whatever, whatever area. I think it's Murray. And he's like, how far are you from the buffet? from Paradise Buffet Kids like our kids doing this shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah what? There must be some There's got to be some there's got to be some

That's why like my advice to any parent is first of all don't let your kid get fucking whisper for anything ever Yeah, and then the other thing is like my you better monitor their fucking phone like you wouldn't believe like yeah I mean, what do you think about the doctor disrespect shit? I Haven't really looked into it a ton. Yeah I heard I heard he like admitted to something, but then like took it back or I don't really know. He said he was having, he said he had conversations with a minor that bordered on inappropriate. That's what he admitted to. But I'm, you know, I'm about the same age as him. I'm never having, I'm never having

conversations with minors, let alone inappropriate ones, you know? And now he's, now he's back streaming and guys like the quartering are like full throated support for him. This is all via text? Yeah, via like secret whisper chats on. Why do people put anything in writing? Uh, cause they're like, they're just like sex freaks, you know? He was cheating on his wife a bunch with like trans

fucking prostitutes and shit, all kinds of crazy stuff. Yeah, it's very concerning that they just let him back and he's just back to streaming video games, which is a ton of teenagers are around. I don't know, it's fucked up. But anyway, sorry. What were you saying? No, that's a that's a good point, though.

Like, why do they put it in writing? Like, it's like so crazy to me that these they're so like, I don't know, just like so obvious about it. They don't they like don't care. They just don't. I don't think I think they just don't think they'll ever get caught. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, that's not usually get caught. Yeah just don't, I don't think, I think they just don't think they'll ever get caught. Yeah, I agree. They must not usually get caught. Yeah, won't happen to me. And they're really like, they're just overcome

by their fucking, you know, like. Jackpot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, baby. Yeah. You driving to the buffet? Oh, hell yeah. I'll be outside and. Did he ask how you're getting to the buffet? Like as a little boy? I forget. Yeah, I forget.

I, that one was so long ago. I don't remember what we, what we said, like how we were getting there, but yeah, just, uh, no dude. All right. I'm going to play more of it. Okay. Yeah. Eagles had what record? What was the record?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I have no idea. Get the questions correctly. We're going to call the police, okay? Okay. In 2017, the Philadelphia Eagles had what record? What was their record? I have no idea. You have no idea? That's one strike, that's one question you got incorrectly. Who starred in the film Titanic?

Larry DiCaprio and I don't know the lady's name, I don't know. That's correct, he got one right. Hey, how about it? Hey, give me a high five, man. Give me a high five. He got one of them right. Alright, you gotta get at least two more questions correctly. Or we'll be calling the cops on you today. Can you name a quarterback in NFL history? Joe Namath. Joe Namath. I'll take that. What was the name of the dog in Up? I have no idea. Oh man. Sam? He didn't see Up. He didn't see Up. He didn't see Up. That's two questions correct and two incorrect. Okay. Get to get one more correct.

Why? What is the age of consent in Utah? 18. Wow, you got that one right. Yeah. Maybe rethink your life a little bit, huh? Maybe stop trying to meet children for sex, man. I wouldn't be meeting him.

I was gonna see how old he was, really. Yeah, no you weren't. I was gonna see how old he was. I was gonna see how old he was. Yeah, right. Bullshit. Yeah, you're not fooling anybody. I know, I was gonna see how old he was really. Yeah, I know you were. I was gonna see how old he was. I was gonna see how old he was. Yeah, right. Bullshit. Yeah, you're not fooling anybody. I know I was gonna see how old he was.

Yeah, well your face is gonna be out here, you're gonna be online, people are gonna know. It's fantastic. How do you feel when you're doing the show, confronting the pedophiles? Is it rage building up inside of you, disgust? What does it feel like? I feel like I'm playing a character.

You know, like it's, I feel like totally, I'm like totally disassociated and I'm just like, I don't know, I'm like, I'm in a different mindset where it's like a little nerves when I'm first walking up, I think. Yeah. But I feel so in the moment. It's like, you have to be like really felt like aware

of what's going on. Cause you may pull out a gun, you don't know. Yeah, you make it really funny. Like you can see sometimes when you like, you can feel like the hate sometimes coming through but most of the time it's like it's really just you you make it so funny that it's not there most of the time you know it's very it's I'm what I'm saying looks very difficult to do right that's I guess that's what I'm saying I got you yeah

thanks yeah yeah I mean you've got can you plug your stuff too you got the trading card stuff that I saw is very funny I mean obviously that've got, can you plug your stuff too? You got the trading card stuff that I saw is very funny. I mean, obviously that can't, I can't talk to pedophile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, if you guys, if people want to support,

I sell trading cards of politicians and terrorists, and they're all real. But, you know, I don't, I didn't make any of these. These were all made by like, like the real card manufacturers, like tops. Tops made like 2001 tops enduring freedom. So you can buy like Osama bin Laden's rookie card, George Bush's rookie card. Uh, so Dom Hussein desert storm cards. I just got in a bunch of Diddy rookie cards.

They're a sticker. That's good. The sticker made by Panini. And yeah, I got, I don't know. I got a bunch of weird shit on my site. So yeah. It's good stuff. Well, call in again, please.

You're great, I love your comedy. I've been a fan of the PED Show, the newly PED Show for a long time, so it's a pleasure talking to you. Thank you for having me, guys. I really appreciate it. See ya. Yeah, call in again.

What do we have to do to make it bigger? That's all I, what do we have to do to, whatever we can do to get people, you know, grips to come in, the flash mob mob style to bring in a backdrop like the Murph Griffin show. The crew, yeah. A whole crew fleshed out, you need an announcer, here we go on the newly-picked game, it's Colin Shoemaker, you know? And then you come out waving and stuff and then like get people from like the Lowe's where you're meeting them, get them to come out and they're like oh yeah I love TV they're doing like a flash mob thing and lows where you're meeting them get them to come out there like oh, yeah I love TV

They're doing like a flash mob thing and then the reveal is and he's trying to fucking meet a 13 year old for sex Oh, God. Oh What you know all this stuff is gold you're a producer dick You know I know it when I see it. I know what it is when I see it, you know? I know what it is when I see it. Okay, thank you, Colin. Have a good Sunday. Thanks, guys. See ya.

See ya. Bye. The newly-ped game. God. It just made me laugh. I feel like we're living in the future with shit like that. It's so crazy.

You know? It's crazy, this is a thing. Yeah, this is it. This is the window into the future. This is where I wanna go through this hole. This is just, these are just the kinds of things that like I would never think of. Yeah.

Like I just never would. Yeah. My brain doesn't work that way. Like it's just like, it's way too creative for me. Very creative. And he really went, he committed to it. I know, he's- Whispering, setting up pedophiles.

In a parking lot, in a fucking blizzard, in a suit and tie. It's such a wonderful commentary on really just everything. That guy answered- The inefficiency of law enforcement, like the state, the nature of the ubiquitousness of horrific crime and criminality that surrounds us.

That guy answered 18 like he had read the statute like so many times. Like exactly like yeah it's 18. Who was in Titanic? Uh I don't know what's the age of content? 18. He got the yeah he got the Titanic one pretty quick but like but the yeah 18 it was like 18 he and he knew it. He knew it.

It wasn't like 18 you know it was like 18 and he knew it. He knew it. It wasn't like 18. You know, it was like 18. Utah, yeah. Okay. What state am I in? I tend to travel around a lot. Had a lot of parking lots. I'm on a parking lot tour across the nation.

Trying to get over to Hawaii. I think it's less there. Yeah, I'm gonna go and get over. Why don't they just move to Thailand? think it's less there. Yeah, I'm gonna go and get over to- why don't they just move to Thailand? Like, it's cheap there. You know, why? Maybe there's 12 year olds there? I mean, some people don't know people who can, you know, pony up 250 bucks to get out of prison. He may not know anybody who can, you know, give him a grand to go get started. I bet that guy could get 250 bucks. I bet the fucking pedophile could get 250 bucks. Catgirl can't get 250 bucks.

Yeah, and she hasn't also I said on the email I sent to her on Friday or Thursday or whatever like well I could bail you out for 250 dollars. She hasn't written me back It's like classic woman classic wage gap shit. I can get you out of prison You just got to check your email and follow through, respond to one email. How often are they allowed to check email? I don't know. What do they do all day? Nothing. You think there's only a limited amount of time

they can check emails in prison? Yeah. Probably. I don't know if it's as often as once a day or if it's like every... It's got to be whenever they want. I hope I never find out how often you can check emails in jail. I hope Nick doesn't find out.

He lost his Frank's hearing thing. I would imagine, I would imagine those are uphill battles. They are uphill battles, but you know, it's, it's, you're a, you're the defendant. You should be able to have uphill battle. You can, You should be able to have uphill battle. You should be able to fight every battle. Well, yeah. And you know, well, sure.

And like he did, and then the, well, so. Well, he didn't get the hearing. They denied the hearing. Well, right, right. And now can he, because like, And they denied. You do, they say they deny the hearing. Do you have a rebuttal to their denial?

No, they denied the hearing. You don't? And they said, you have no more. And because you didn't raise any other objections objections you have no more objections to make you have to go to trial ah and it's like bro, huh Really? You know People are still upset about the kid testing positive for coke even though obviously

There's a test result there. It was a real test result, he would be in prison. The investigation would still be open. But once that idea is out there, you can't erase it. Well, yeah, I know, I know. Sucks, but I don't know. He's gonna have to plea deal. Well, that seems like the obvious thing, right? I mean, if they take away the, okay, no,

the warrants staying, this thing is going, I mean, because I'm sure- Just brutal to have to plea thing is going, I mean, because I'm sure. Just brutal to have to plea deal. Yeah, I know, and that's right. And this is coming from someone who thinks drugs should be totally legal, all of them. All of them, it's like, it's just as insane as the pedophile did.

I would think you would avoid jail time taking a plea. And that you get sentenced to probation. But then you're like guilty forever. Community service. Well, but. Then you can't sue the cops, a plea and that you've got like you get sentenced to probation community service well but then you can't sue the cops because you're like it has ramifications you know it's not something you can you can not something you can uh no contest to right i would think not no i mean it's like you probably have to enter a guilty plea i don't know what kind of thing he's getting so fucked over man

that pastor all these all these fucking people that fucked him over, I wish there was a hell so they could burn in it, but they, you know. You gotta gatekeep this shit, man. You can't be going in with, you cannot be going in with God. You cannot, you cannot trust people no matter what. No matter what. I'm coming from God.

Fuck you, you are not Well, my relationship guys was directly me to him. You don't know you got a different God I don't know my God my dog my God is like my fucking dog. I know him I got a good relationship with him. You don't fucking know him at all your worship being a different guy He's a little different but a little goes a long fucking way when it comes to God Who was he? Yeah, God, who was an author, a famous author, I think, who said, you know, if you do business with one of these religious assholes, get it in writing. Because his word ain't worth shit.

That was shit. Not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you in the deal. We got seven billion people on this planet, we got seven billion different gods that they're worshiping. Every single fucking one of them. Everyone's a little different. Every single one. Every single god's in their corner. Do not trust these fucking people.

You know, if I had anything to criticize, that would be it. Ah, man. You can't trust people at all, at all. And it will fuck with your brain, but you can't. Women could have that luxury, nah, man. So I'm just kind of, I don't, kind of just rambling for a minute. He lives in a very small town, right?

Yeah, Womer or Spicer or whatever it was. Yeah, I think I actually looked it up. I think I looked up Spicer. It's like a thousand people, which I know there's much smaller towns. Yeah, there's gonna be a cocaine problem there, right? We gotta stamp this out. What I'm saying is, just to me,

I would think that this kind of stuff where everybody is in everybody's business, like happens obviously a lot more in a small town. The moral outrage can be greater in a small town. Cause everybody knows somebody who knows somebody. It's like everybody's kind of, oh, they're that family. Oh, they're like that.

Oh, there's weird things going on. I would think that people in small towns, I think make a lot of things their business that probably that you and I wouldn't. Well, cause they're not being watched. Like when you're in LA, you're being watched. If you're trying to fuck around, you got millions of people on your ass.

Like in a small town, you can kind of act like. But I mean in like law enforcement, like a lot of these are, it's like the little like little towns, it's kind of like there's, it seems like there's more old boys clubs. Like, I don't know, I'm just guessing. But like I said, I'm rambling. Well, there's less struggle for power too.

The struggle for power undermines corruption because usurpers use it to dethrone you. So in a small town, once you get power, established power, it becomes more corrupt. Like LA is extremely corrupt, but also everybody is gunning for everybody. It's like that apocalypse. It's like a Darwinian sort of you know yeah a model of behavior behavioral modification. Okay here's a pineapple man. Hey Dick I just saw this

on Twitter. This figure shows that liberals tend to have are more concerned with the suffering of animals and the suffering of their own families. I remember this coming up on the Biggest Problem and IARC, if I recall correctly, it mirrors your stance versus vetoes on this matter. Yeah, this is a very interesting, people send me this graph a lot. It's interesting. It is interesting and it's true. It's true and it feels true. Let me bring it up here, Sean. So this is some sort of study they did where they asked people who they care about most.

Heat maps indicating highest moral allocation by ideology. So on the left- These are like the- On the left you have conservatives. Oh yeah, okay. So the rings, you have conservatives. Oh yeah, okay. So the rings, you see how it has rings here? The rings represent, and this is who you care about. Yeah, this is-

Who you care about most. The rings represent one, all of your immediate family. Two, all of your extended family. Three, all of your closest friends. Four, all of your friends. They ask you these questions that maps your brain, like the part of your brain that. Well, I don't know if it's a brain,

I think it's just like an answer. Oh, oh. Like who do you care about? Heat maps indicating, oh okay, so literally just. The heat map is just the style of graph this is. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, so here's. I've never seen a heat map graph.

That's new to me. I thought they were doing some kind of a, like what area of your brain. Brain thing? Yeah, like where it lights up. No, it's not actual science, it's social science. Well. Dog shit. Yeah, no, no, I know.

And that's where there's always methodology questions in this and- Yes, but it's interesting because it is true, because this happened. Yes, yes, yes, it did. Now, what the people's motivations are too. Absolutely. I understand that.

I know, you got that. Can't be, you can't tie it down and say this is real because it's just what people are saying. Because it's like, conservatives are like, all about the children, all about the children, all about the children, cut all the children's programs. I'm not paying for it. They're still circumcising them.

Yeah. I mean, you guys can't escape that. Yeah. You're circumcising kids? Yeah. Why? But anyway, cutting- Why are you cutting penises off?

Okay, one, your family, two, extended family, three, all your friends, Three, all your friends. Four, all your friends, including distant ones. Five, all of your acquaintances. Six, all the people you've ever met. Seven, all the people in your country. Eight, all the people in your continent. Nine, all the people on all continents. Ten, all mammals. Eleven, all amphibians, reptiles, mammals, fish and birds. Twelve, all animals on earth, including paramecia and amoeba. 13, all animals in the universe,

including alien life forms. 14, all living things in the universe, including plants and trees. 15, all natural things in the universe, including inert entities such as rocks. 16, all things in existence. See, so they're saying like basically they're almost- According to your political ideology,

the one on the left is what conservatives say. When I see almost a mirror image, like I tend to say bullshit. Why? Because... Oh, thank you. What are you saying? Sorry, what are you saying is bullshit?

Because... You're saying the data collection is bullshit? Or... Yeah, I mean like if you... They're basically... You've got the outliers, Yeah, I mean, like, if you like, they're basically, you've got the outliers, but basically how far, how far it's not quite to the sixth-

So just for people listening, the conservative side- Right. Let me explain to people- For people listening, the conservative side is a big hot red comet in the middle for family, immediate family, and then it trails off into blue for all things in the universe, meaning that's what they said they cared about.

So as things get further away from them, from you and yours, you get... And liberals said, liberals has a big red spot. It doesn't start getting hot until like, until the very end, which is like so... No, no, no, no. Liberals is at one, two, three... Liberals is at about all animals on earth, 12. Look, see? That's where the, so liberals, liberals answered this question. Well, wait a minute, is the, is the conservative one in the middle? You know what I mean? Like

the conservative one is at three, all of your closest friends. Look, that's what they care the most about. One, two, three, four. Oh no, maybe it's about five. Five is all of your acquaintances. So that's supposed to be the highest value you care about. So that's over your immediate family? Moral allocation by ideology. You know what I mean? That's who they care about. What do you care about?

It's who they care about, but why wouldn't your immediate family like light up the hottest? I think it's like, do you care about your immediate family? Yes. Do you care about all your friends? Yes. Do you care about your immediate family? Yes. Do you care about all your friends? Yes. Do you care about your acquaintances?

Yes. Do you care about all people? No. I don't care about no longer. That's where they're, that's where their value, like the value they put on people ended up right there. But like peaks, like,

it's, yeah. And it's like how, so it's's like you can't tell how much how would you answer this question let me ask you okay about all your immediate family I do yeah let's do let's do a scale of ten all right okay immediate family what is also what there's also a there's also an inherent like ranking in this too I agree that I think that's also interesting because they said alien life and that's like, well, wait a minute. OK, you're a media family.

What do you think? Yeah. Yes. OK. One out of 10. I'll tell you where I start. Like, OK, this is, and I want to make sure I'm reading the, this is, what is the question?

How much do you, is there something at the top? Where would you put yourself? Like, what's your, where's your line? But what is the- Where the question? How much do you is there something? Where would you put yourself like what's your no, I know but this is your line But what is it drop off a cliff how much you care or just do you care? Is it how do you feel strongly? You know what I mean? Like that's all that kind of stuff is important So you're the liberal answer. Where do your strongest feelings? I think that conservatives I think this is the point No, I think you're making I'll tell you where I go. Okay, but I think, I want to say this. I think you're making-

You can also care about, you can also care about, like a lot of, it's like, what do you, I could skip over some of these and go, I don't give a shit about that at all. Well, I agree. You know what I mean? Yes. I think you're making the point of what this survey was,

which is conservatives can look at this and immediately tell you where to draw the line. And liberals cannot. They look at this and they say, I guess, yeah, all the rocks in the universe. But if you want to rank importance, that's what I mean, like ranking important. Like I certainly don't care about all animals on earth,

including paramecia. I'm feeling like as much as I, so that's the thing. Like I- All mammals? How are you on all mammals? Well, I don't care about mammals more than I care about. Like all people, I can't say that I care about all people. What about all people in your continent?

No. Okay. All people in your country? No. All people you've ever met? No. All of your acquaintances. I hate some people I've met. All of your acquaintances.

Acquaintances? I mean, yeah, I hope nothing... There you go. Acquaintances, yeah. That, that five? That five? Look, that five is right where most conservatives are. Yeah, but can you also not... I mean, yeah, I hope that you go that and that that that nothing bad happens to them Five is right where most conservatives are. Yeah, but can you can you also not two? But you can also you could also not you could also care about other stuff, too

It's just like yeah, but you answered it right away. Yeah, that's the point of the study. Yes I guess but you did answer it and that's where most conservatives answers right there But then if I asked this to liberals- So are they saying they care all the way out to that? Yeah, they say- But it doesn't say more. Well, if I asked a liberal- It doesn't mean more.

The same way I asked you, if I asked a liberal- They would say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, they would say that way later. It would be, let me see here. One, two, three, four, end. I see, that's where most of them stopped, I guess. Three, yeah, four. Now I understand. So all animals on earth, including paramecia and amoeba. Oh, you can care about that, but it's not saying that you care about that more than your family, right?

This is just where they stopped caring. Well, but it kind of is. Is it? Because do you have- Why? But no, it couldn't be like, that's a given. Like that's, of course I care about my family. But do you have the energy to care about all of these things?

I don't think most people do. No. And I think to their detriment, it's very exhausting. Yes. So if you're caring about all animals, like, well, you need to save more energy to care about your fucking family. And control the things that you can control.

Yeah. Because you can, yeah. Yeah, you're talking about paramecium, but we've got like, you know, I got homeless people, we got homeless people on the street. No, I care more about that. Like, I put all my, I think you understand what the point of this survey is.

It's interesting. I've seen it pop up. It's interesting. It's more like where it stops and the energy like it's like, yeah, I care. It doesn't mean, yeah, I understand. If you frame it like that, I get it. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a unique way to frame things I've found. Cause people will get upset about everything and you say, you guys don't have, you guys are getting upset about shit. That you have no control over. And you need energy to focus on how to fix it. Yeah. You don't have, you're wasting all that energy

on getting upset about everything. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know. You got Colin Shoemaker. I know. And it's solving the problem. Yeah. You know, he putting energy in.

He doesn't have time for paramecium. And it's only, you know, the outrage, social media outrage and the internet, you know, headline outrage. Yeah, it's people who are susceptible to feeling strongly about everything. Like it's just, it's really to your detriment. Yeah.

You know, it's like you, you can only, you've got to, you've got to, you've got to circle. You know, you only go out so far because it's- We need to, you guys need to crank in the, the caring about paramecium on in. You gotta care about, but maybe they hate their families. That's another thing too. Sure, some.

They might see their family as just like a fucking paramecium. You know? It totally depends. They're like, I fucking hate you. It totally depends. I don't know if that's limited to one party or not, but like... That's what this crap is saying. I don't think so.

That's what it's suggesting. I don't think so. I don't think so. That's what it's suggesting. I don't think so. You don't think so? No, I think that's where most people stop. It doesn't mean that they care more about, I don't know. I'd like to see it broken down differently. Like, I mean, like that would,

I don't think they go, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, now I start caring at animals. Now they say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no. Oh, now I start caring at animals. Now they say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and that drops off. Correct, correct, yeah, correct. It's interesting. Okay, I thought that would be dumb, Pineapple Man, but- We liked it.

We enjoyed it. I'm not a liberal, but I always seem to align with, I always seem to align, oh yeah, okay. I remember this coming up for the biggest problem. Bro, there's the whole, it oh yeah, okay. I remember this coming up with the biggest problem. The whole, it's like, you're this or this. It's so, it drives me crazy when people go bullet point checklist of whatever you're supposed to be.

If you're a liberal, it's fucking retarded. It's fucking retarded. Yeah, we gotta vote though. There's way too fucking much black and white thinking in this fucking country, dude. Like, I will never align with fucking all the points on whatever you're the pull on the entire political spectrum. Look, I align with game shows that are getting pedophiles or you answer questions or you call the cops. Yeah.

So... Like this either or, A, B, black, white shit is it's bullshit. Are we doing that or not? And if you don't figure that out in life, you're in for a fucking rough time. I'm not a liberal, but I always seem to align with them on these tests. And even though it's completely irrational,

animal abuse does make me angrier on a gut level than child abuse does. So we definitely exist. I mean, look, they're both... I know people like that. I know, but like when you're talking like... Yeah, to me... I don't agree with that.

There are certain things like an adult... It's tough for me to put on a gut level to put an adult in most cases on the same level of victimhood as a child. Wait, what do you... Yeah, of course. in most cases on the same level of victimhood as a child. Wait, what do you, yeah, of course. Because, you know what I mean? Like as a child, you have no power, no control over anything. And you know what?

If you own a dog, the dog's in the same situation. Like it's, but- Well, does he mean animal abuse, like, you know, eating animals? Well, or somebody who, you know, or somebody who, you know, or somebody who, you know, ties a dog to a pole and beats it every day.

Oh, that's just bad. No, there's a, and again, Everybody's anti that. You know, it's funny. Lots of things can evoke strong emotions when it comes to that kind of stuff. Have you ever seen that Hitler movie, Guess Who's Back? That's, I love that movie.

That movie is so fucking funny. Yeah. It's so funny to me. I was thinking about this the other day. Hitler is so likable in that movie that they had to insert a scene where he kicks a, he beats that dog or shoots a dog. He shoots a dog in the head and then makes it talk.

Hitler, Hitler started anti-animal cruelty laws. Yeah. So they had to, Hitler is so good in that movie, they had to fabricate animal abuse, which was not accurate. That is the least, that is the farthest away, like that's, it's just like, you guys had to fuck, Hitler, you were telling me that Hitler is so good from beyond the grave, he's so likable, that you had to, you had to negate one of his platforms was anti-animal abuse. He was absolutely a dog lover.

It's well documented he was a dog lover. There's nothing else that you could have got about Hitler to make him look bad? You had him invent that he shot a dog? People are complex. It's just so funny. How would he have answered that graph? Germany. He was stopped at the people in the country.

But then he would care about the dogs and skip over some Jews. Right. Right. Oh, the whole Hitler is like left or right thing always drives me nuts. It's like, well, I mean, he was very left-wing except for the Jews. Then he was very right-wing. Like, politically speaking, he's very socialistic except for the people that he did not want in the country anymore.

Right. So it's complicated. And that's why I will never align with one side or the other, so that I can have that option, Dick. Yeah. Silly. Okay, I'm not a liberal. Yeah, yeah. Animal abuse does make me angry on our gut level than a child abuse does. I think if you saw child abuse, you would feel differently. They can both be appalling. And are.

Well, because with an animal, you can put yourself in the animal shoes more easily than you can with a child. Because a child's a different person. So with an animal you're like, oh that's like me, I could be that animal. And you may not answer like that. I would guess and I would hope that he wasn't abused as a child. Yeah, you know buddy, there's honestly, there's so much abuse going around. There is.

And our standards of what we call abuse are so fucking low. It's not Vince McMahon paying some whore $200,000 to shit on him and suck his cock. Like that's not what we should be worried about. But it's all anybody seems to care about. Because it's scandalous. It's scandalous and it's new. It's a big time. We love to, again, that celebrity being elevated

to importance that, you know, just. He's funny though, man. I mean, he did that thing, you know? He's bigger than life. Yeah, man, I could do that too. Oh yeah, fuck you, bitch. Yeah, ah, ah. That's how he walks?

Like a- Yeah, that was his mr. And his hands his shoulders like not as not as seen him what his arms like Steven Seagal or something He's like a total fucking it's like a cartoon. Yeah You know Vince funny Nick man Walk I Probably watch this every day just to charge up. Yeah the power walk. Power walk. Oh shit sorry. I got it. Oh my god. Come on you fucking YouTube thing. That's how he walks. I've never noticed that.

So he swings his forearms a lot too. Well yeah because he's all roided out. It's funny because he looks like, like it looks like his legs are stiff. Like he looked like, watch him walk, do it again. Watch him, watch him walk again. Like where it's like, oh, he's an old man. Ladies and gentlemen, the chairman of the W. Here we go. Look at it, like he's got knee problems or something.

Oh my God, that's crazy. It's so funny. That's crazy. It's so funny. That's crazy. I never noticed that. I guess because I don't watch. I haven't watched wrestling in 30 years. Episode 4. That guy, Joey Kristal came in. Episode 4 of this show.

And he said wrestling is so amazing. Oh yeah, yeah. No, I remember. It's the only American art form. Well, except jazz. But yeah. It's kind of like a black You know It's the only it's an American art form. It's a jazz reality TV. Yeah reality TV. I don't want to claim it sucks But Yeah, that's why that's what Vince McMahon is. He's an American

artist He really he's a incredible entertainer That's what Vince McMahon is. He's an American artist. Truly. He's an incredible entertainer, obviously. Like you can't... Undeniable. No, undeniable is right. But like people, it's crazy that people, if you just say that, it's like,

yeah, Hitler was a dog lover. Can I get canceled for saying Hitler was a dog lover? You shouldn't be saying that. You should let me say it. Like, I mean, that doesn't mean, but that doesn't mean that I endorse any fucking thing else. What about a dog loving? You endorse that, obviously.

No, it's a stating of fact. Popples says, woman alert, double feature. Woman alert. Hey, Dick, I love the show. That calling guy was funny, man. I love that people still call it, or right in, they say, love the show. Me too, it's great.

It's kind of amazing. Hey, Dickel, I love the show. Girlfriend went over to her friend's house and tried to get a glass of water. Girlfriend went over to her friend's house. Did you see the UN delegate of Haiti going to the UN? No. I'm just trying to get on this. You're telling me they're not eating dogs and cats? Watch this. Watch this. You've never seen anything like this, Sean. Really?

That's a bold statement. No, no, no. You've never seen anything like this. Here's the UN delegate of Haiti. So Haiti sends this guy to the UN. And he says, in the middle of his speech, he's thirsty. And he says, I'm gonna grab, well they have this pitcher of water here. For all the different speakers, right? Oh no, like, but there was no glass? There was glasses. There were glasses?

They weren't full. You think there'd be glasses if there were? Obviously. So you're supposed to pour them. Would there ever be a reason for you to drink out of a pitcher when you're speaking to the fucking UN? No, I would. If there's ever, was there a circumstance,

maybe you ate a hot chili pepper or something, and you're like, I gotta get this hot chili pepper. Right, right. You could probably tough through if there were no glasses, you know, if you don't have a chance to go, hey, there's, you know, like like there's no glasses up here. Imagine watching walking into your boss's office you're like oh I'm thirsty I'm here's a pitcher drinking drink here it is yeah yeah yep and he sees the pitcher and then

drinks out of the gallon sized pitcher. Respect for its dignity. Respect for its dignity Yeah, it's That's not how you drink water, bro. That's not how you fucking drink water. That's not how you drink water. I Mean that's it. See that's a thing. You should look at that and go I Mean, there were glasses there for sure. What? If there are words! I know, I know. I'm playing devil's advocate. How much of a dad is a bit far even for devil's advocate?

This is a gallon-sized pitcher. You would have to believe that there's a gallon pitcher replaced for every speaker up there if there are no glasses. There is no reason why you would ever drink out of a pitcher when you're giving a speech anywhere. I wouldn't drink out of a pitcher at my home. There's never, because I know what a pitcher is, there's never a circumstance unless it's beer and I was doing it to be funny. Can you see a spout on the side? Yes! Yeah.

It's a fucking spout! Yeah. Yeah. Respect for its dignity. Respect for its fucking dignity! He's drinking out of a fucking pitcher! No! Wrong! Go back! That's crazy.

That's crazy. That's what I was- It's one of those- Again- They're not eating cats. Why would anyone eat a cat and a dog? Why is he drinking out of a fucking pitcher? If you didn't see it, you'd go- You wouldn't be creative enough to come up with it. You would be racist! It would be-

Well, it'd be- Let's have him drink out of a pitcher. No, it'd be- It's racist. It'd be too odd to come up with. It would be very odd. It'd be too odd to come up with. I feel bad, but...

Bro, you're also invading the fucking country. So you gotta take your pitcher drinking, go back, figure out what pitchers are, go have some glasses where you're... How could he not... How could he not know? Well, I believe that there would... because people said there would have to be glasses next to the pitcher. You're...

There would have to. You're fixation on the glasses. As though missing glasses with somehow It's authorized no no drinking. It would get you closer to the closer to being there. Are you thirsty? I've got Nelson Mandela Cat first stuck in my teeth you have no idea how there's goose down halfway down my throat I cannot continue I cannot continue to address the UN without a lot of water. Oh my god.

I know, I was in there going, I'm sorry, did you guys not see that he's drinking out of the pitcher over there? What are you- Oh, no, I guarantee you everybody in there went- What the fuck? Who was that? out of the pitcher over there? What do you... Oh, no, I guarantee you everybody in there went... What the fuck? Yeah. What was that?

It would strike everybody as odd, I would think. That's crazy. I don't think I've ever seen anybody drink out of a pitcher. No, nobody has! Unless it was a pitcher of beer. I've seen plenty of people do that. You do that kind of stuff when you get drunk. Like pissing outside.

Can't be bothered to go get a glass, you know? Oh yeah, bottles. Waitress took mine. Oh, okay, I love this show. Girlfriend over to her friend's house and tried to get a glass of water. This friend told her she has no ice and that she doesn't need ice because she has a water cooler with five gallon bottles. The bottles were empty, but my girlfriend found a case of plastic water bottles next to it.

Okay. She was confused and annoyed. Emotions that she is familiar with. The friend apologized and informed her that she hates taking it to get filled, so she pours in individual water bottles into the five gallon bottle one by one. So she's got a water cooler, dispenser, like a narrow head thing. Yeah. She hates taking the five gallon to get filled. Yeah. So she buys a pallet of water bottles. And fills the...

Fills them up one by one and then puts the five gallon on... Okay. ...retarded. Because the... Because it's... She doesn't want to put... She's an idiot. But the cooler probably chills the water. Yeah, the cooler does.

As the refrigerator would as well. With the water bottles. Yes, yes. Additionally, I found out a year and a half, after a year and a half that my girlfriend doesn't know how to use a ceiling fan, she thought you just pull the cord randomly until it's on the speed you want. Her explanation is that she didn't grow up with fans in the house. Thanks for all the laughs.

So his girlfriend takes the ceiling fan and just pulls it. In her mind, she's like, well, I'm just going to pull it until it's a speed I want. Yeah, it doesn't realize that the... It always happens to be three. Yeah. You know? Or two. Yeah.

Never one. Nobody ever turns that fucking, it's way too high. I think barely is, yeah, yeah. God. Like they, it's just the natural conclusions of shit. The natural pattern matching just doesn't exist. It doesn't fucking exist for that. You should learn the pattern of that ceiling fan

pretty quick, I would think. And they don't. And they don't. It explains their fucking voting. Austin Berger says, the Oregon DMV mistakenly registered more than 1,200 non-citizens to vote. I got a stat for you.

Thanks for the airplay I've been getting with my stuff. Oh yeah, non-citizens. Well. I got a stats for you. Thanks for the airplay I've been getting with my stuff. Oh, yeah. Non-citizens. Well, wow, what a big mistake. That's crazy. Maybe they should, maybe not even a reading test for voting. We should have just a pitcher of water. What do you do with this? Yeah, go ahead and take a drink of that water. I'm gonna just take this picture, get out of here. Well, it's like, what's the, a pitcher of water, you're thirsty and no glasses. What's the, you should go, hey, does anybody have a,

does anybody have any glasses? Yeah, here you go. Is anybody gonna, is anybody else gonna, is this water, I'm really thirsty, can I have a sip of this? Okay, hold on, hold on. Is anybody else gonna? Look gonna look you can see his thing you can see that guy's thing does he have water does he have glasses there you can see it I does this motherfucker have glass look is that glass I hard to say oh man but I can only I if I have to make an assumption I'm assuming there are

glasses yeah there's a safe assumption. Because that's what somebody would put out who put a pitcher of water out. Because everybody knows that a pitcher of water is for multiple people. That's the voting test. Hey, you know what? Can we get a... Can I get you guys anything to start? You know what?

You know what? We'll have five pitchers of water. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll have some water and then, you know, I'll just have water, diet coke, bottle of beer, whatever. Like a glass of what? I expect, are you expecting a pitcher

to be brought out for you? No, the answer's no. Michael says a woman alert. All right, another one. Woman alert. I work in another one. Woman alert. I work in a hospital. Woman alert. Two female coworkers were discussing a patient case

at work. Keep in mind that I live in a state with many legs. This is how their conversation went. Many legs? So Minnesota? Wisconsin, maybe? I mean, Minnesota's known for legs. Woman one.

Look at this patient's chart. It's a leg wound from a propeller. He works in a hospital. Yeah. Second woman. Wow, that sucks. First woman. Yeah, it makes me wonder. What kind of propeller are we talking about? Second woman. Yeah. First woman. It's on her leg, so I'm thinking it was from either an airplane? Oh, God. That's where my mind went in how this was going to go. It's on her leg. So I'm thinking it was from either an airplane. Oh God, that's where my mind went in how this was gonna go. Cause obviously you're thinking boat propeller.

That's obviously. When you hear, oh he's got a propeller wound on his leg or whatever, it's like first. Nobody calls it a lawnmower. Look when you. Or a lawnmower, or maybe a lawnmower she says. A propeller? I know, yeah, I had to tune my lawnmower, or maybe a lawnmower she says. A propeller?

I know, yeah, I had to tune my lawnmower down because it was taking off, Dick. It was raining out, exactly. Wow, it makes me wonder what kind of propeller it was. An airplane? Or a lawnmower? When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. Gay Vietnam, in the last episode you mistakenly claimed there wasn't much gay stuff going on in Vietnam. A buddy of mine I grew up with, his stepdad was in Vietnam and developed a pension for gay stuff during his stint in the army.

Oh wow. The family found this out by accident when on Christmas about 15 years ago the mom walked in on the stepdad. Had an M16 jammed up his ass. Sucking off my friend's cousin after everyone had gone to bed. Whoa. How old was he? We need to know how old his cousin was. sucking off my friend's cousin after everyone had gone to bed. How old was he? We need to know how old he was. The cousin was also in the army. Okay, he's an adult. Okay, it's fine. The cousin was also in the army where he also presumably developed a liking for gay stuff. Well, everyone is gay. Look, and military guys have lower impulse control than

the general population. I mean there's no good reason to go and fuck a military. They will kill you. They don't care. They don't have to obey the law like everybody else. That's you know, I don't think that's even insulting to them. But they like being aggressive. So obviously there's going gonna be more gay shit there Everyone jokes about the Navy being gay, but I know way more gays in the army Thank God I was rejected by the army when I was 19 not gay enough Sorry, sir. You're too straight. How far down can you get on this cock? Oh, it's not far enough Poor drink this drink this pitcher of water.

Can I suck your cock? You're in. The Navy gets, I think I made a Navy joke. Like, it's always like, oh, sailor, you know, like it's. Yeah, cause they are gay. I have no, I have no idea. Actually, they're probably least gay. I have no idea where the,

what the highest concentration, you know, would be. Of gays. Any of the armed... You know what, Sean? What's that? They're probably all identical. Probably. And identical to the rest of the population.

You know what? I think you might be onto something there. But the problem is you get guys together and they'll just be, they'll just start fucking each other eventually. Like that's how everything works. In the military. Yeah, they just start doing gay shit eventually.

If there was chicks in there, they would all be fucking them too. There's just no chicks in there. So they're gonna do gay shit. Uhhhh... Mech Warrior, Sean's Animal Corner Challenge. Okay. Okay, hang on, stop. No, let it go. Okay, uh, the bat thing is a myth from last week. So you won.

They don't turn left. He's disqualified. You win. Also, basically, if you put a gun to your, elephants are not afraid of mice. That's a. I don't know about that. They're not afraid of mice. That MythBusters thing, look, there are.

The girl said it, though. I know. You don't want to humiliate her. Anywhere that the MythBusters thing, apparently, like I haven't searched it out to find it, I just read a synopsis where they put them, they went to Africa, I think, they put them in the path. The Mythbusters went to Africa? Yeah.

To disprove the FBI crime statistics? Where elephants are, like they have pads that they use, and they like put mice out there, and the elephants like walked around them. The Mythbusters did that? They fucked with elephants in Africa? Look, they're trying to fucking prove, that's not, there's fucking film crews, there's weird smells, there's all kinds of reasons

why they're like, we're gonna avoid that area. Like, so it's like, they weren't like running stampeding off of mice. Now, meanwhile, you have thousands upon thousands of zoos. What about Lizzo? Can they drop a mouse on Lizzo and see what would happen? I don't know. They've, I don't know.

They should. I don't know. Maybe she'll eat it. Maybe, but the thing is anywhere you have animal feed, you have rodents, cannot get rid of them. There are thousands of instances of like, oh, there's just fucking, oh, they really don't care. You ask zookeepers, you ask just like, no, they don't care.

But it's where that might've come from, where it might've come from, was in the horrible conditions of Victorian England. Oh, with circuses and stuff? Like these animals would get sores on their feet and the tissue would get in their crotch. I mean, they didn't know how to keep anything and they didn't give a fuck.

It was completely just get the people and like circuses It's usually horrible conditions that you wouldn't keep Anything else in those conditions? I wouldn't absolutely not so like they think that the mice would come out and like try to eat the dead Course you want to get the fuck away from something that's biting you right so that that's what I did not do a deep dive, but that sounds that was not a deep dive No, no, no No, I you need to relax I sadly research things that deep more deeply than that when I when I want to really know some time when I want to really know

Okay, so that's a myth. So yeah, it's being afraid of my pretty much But the bat the bat thing is a myth too. I swear I think I have a mouse. What I'm saying is I ran the table. Right. What was that guy's name? Buttfucker? He's got to commit two hate crimes.

Yeah, you fucked up. Fuckerstein, whatever your name was. Okay. Animal Corner. Mech Warrior. Yeah. Animal Corner. Mech Warrior. Yeah. Animal Corner. Sean's Animal Corner. Man now I'm remembering, I'm finally remembering last night.

Oh really? I was so upset about it. It was just watching gay porn. You're upset about watching gay porn? Yeah, I'm upset that- It's crazy that somebody put you in that position. Me. Yeah.

But it should have been like a party atmosphere and it just turned out to be gay porn. There were 12 people. So it got weird. Yeah, it was weird. It got weird. Maybe the Navy was out of town. It's kinda weird.

We were apologizing. Our friend went, our gay friend, his boyfriend or whatever was in from out of town. Yeah. And we said, oh, this will be fun cause it was fun last time. And then afterwards like, I'm apologizing to a gay guy for taking him to a gay porn. Yeah.

Well, you don't want straight people to be judged on that. Like, you know, like, I don't, it's like, hey. I'm apologizing to a gay guy for the gay sex. As a straight guy, I don't want you gay guys to think that that's my idea of the gay culture. But it is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just like, yeah, I mean, I feel like I should apologize to you for bringing you to a gay porn show. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I feel like I should apologize to you for bringing you to a gay porn show. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't like... Yeah.

I don't think you guys are this lame. Now I have to drink. They do a lot of like asshole licking. Really? Yeah, I wasn't. I didn't. I wasn't. I'm not a fan of that.

Well, I mean, that's, you know... Suck someone's cock. That's it. That's the only kind of oral sex I want to see. And pornography. Yeah, okay. Someone getting their cock sucked. Yeah. Okay?

If it's a gay guy sucking cocks, okay, it's fine. You still can identify. Someone's getting their cock sucked, okay? Right. Oh, I would prefer, was a woman doing it? An adult woman? Well, that's your, yeah. That's how you Yeah. That's how, that's how you are. But if it's a gay guy sucking a cock, at least somebody's getting their cock sucked, you know?

Right. Somebody's getting their ass hold back to them. You know what? You're half right. Yeah. Hahaha. Oh my god. Hahaha. God, I'm like, I'm like wound up.

Me too. I don't know why. Uh, it's that guy who's, I'm like wound up. Me too. I don't know why. It's that guy with his- I had a file show. I had one fucking Diet Coke. Oh yeah, MechWarrior. Okay. Do you know?

Man, Riley goes, his trial thing starts October 3rd. Everyone maybe is pissed at Riley because of the whole Veto thing. Yeah? Yeah, because I think like they thought the show was going away and then they got angry at me. Well, they hate Riley also. Yeah. But I think he got a lot like too much flack.

Okay. It's like, oh, he destroyed the show. Like, no, it was me doing it. I was doing stuff. It's fine. Yeah. Wasn't Riley's fault. Riley's funny.

Did you know, Mac Warrior, did you know that spectral bats can use the echolocation of smaller bats to hunt and prey on them? Bats can use the echolocation of littler bats where- eat them. They hear it- oh you motherfucker. Right? Oh, clickers in Last of Us. So they don't need to echolocate. Yeah, because they hear, oh, got you. Got you, got your ass. I would say no, but I mean. Seems obvious though. It does, because it's like if they can, but I would, no, I don't know the.

Yeah, you didn't know that. I didn't know that a certain species of bat like used somebody else's echolocation to. I'm gonna give that to them. To prey on, but it makes perfect sense. Why couldn't they, all bats to my knowledge, echolocate? I don't know. I don't even know what it is.

Well, it's, well, no, well, they send out like these really high, you know, the sound waves bounce back to them and they, they can localize. Well, I think they're beyond, well, they're not all beyond, but they, they, they're various frequencies. I think some beyond the range of human hearing that will bounce back off of, you know, whether it's a cave wall, whether it's a,

so they don't have to, they don't have to see to fly. They can catch bugs in the dark. They're like Asian women. I saw this black guy on the news who would use echolocation, blind guy and he's doing like Really? Yeah. I don't know if he was telling the truth or not, but he had like a stick Move around like that. Well talk about you know cool. I hope it was true I'm sure that like how they can hear but like whether there's you know an opening versus a brick wall

They're walking past by, you know, tapping. Yeah. Depends. I mean, we're not as good at it as bats, but I- Maybe you and I are, because of all the audio, because I feel like if there's something fucked up in audio, it really drives me nuts. Yeah, you are- you're sensitive to it, yeah. You also listen at deafening volumes. Well, yeah, you have to to get the full experience of the podcast. Okay, two. Here's the second question.

Did you know that Honduran white bats build tents by chewing the midrib of a leaf so that the side droops down? That's pretty specific. No, I absolutely did not know that. So they build little, huh. Tents by chewing the midrib of a leaf. So they build little... Tents. Wow. By chewing the midrib of a leaf.

So that it... They build little tents. That's the trivia. So that it folds down, like a little pup tent. Oh. They build little tents. I have no idea. They're saying that humans are the only ones that can build tools, but that sounds like

a tool. Well, no. I mean, even crows can use tools. I mean, like a... Did you know that all bats have reversed legs and feet? As in the knees bend backwards and the toes curl towards the face. Oh.

Hmm. I mean... Do you know that? No, that all bats... That's something you could know. It's something I could know, but... The feet are backwards. They're always like...

Bro, that's a fucking blow. I don't even know how many species of bats there are. I didn't look these up, I'm a bat nerd. Also bats turning left when they leave a cave is an urban myth. Hey! Give me a quarter point for, yeah. Nah, you don't get no points on that one. You got skunked.

Mechwarrior blew your ass out. He's a bat nerd. Heed. Yeah. Mechwarrior blew your ass out. He's a bat nerd. He is. Okay. I don't know that much about bats. Only some stuff. He knows everything about bats. Yeah.

Were there any fruit bats in the- He's a fruit bat. Jack Rockstar says, hey Dickenshawn, I was listening to your show this week when the topic of choking women during sex came up. What Dalish says is true. Almost every Gen Z woman will want you to choke them and will criticize you for being too vanilla if you don't. Setting you up.

They're gonna fucking Trevor Bauer your ass. Watch out. They are. They really are. Problem is it's a coin flip on if they actually want it when they ask for it. Jesus Christ. Most of them have read enough weird fairy porn books and seen enough teens being played by adults dramas

that they don't know choking during sex is how you know it's super intimate and fire. That they know that choking during sex is how you know it's super intimate and fiery. So they think that because they saw it on TV that choking is good for sex Well, this is like this is the whole how how influential is TV games film, you know, I guess it's extremely I mean I was to women I think I mean it has to do it has to do Something I mean they're all wanting it choked and doing like porno, like hentai shit. People believe stuff that they see

on like scripted television shows, like because they're like, well, they must have gotten it from reality. Like that must be a thing. So people have weird beliefs based on that. But I found that while a lot of women will come their brains out when you do it, just as many have a very weird reaction.

They ask for it to be done and then attempt to get themselves hyped for it, like a dad trying to get his family excited for a trip to the Grand Canyon. They are clearly uncomfortable, but because they assume it's how they're supposed to do it, they'll just be awkward the whole time. Man, yeah.

So they ask for it. I wanna get choked. You love choking, right? No. Why would I want that? Okay, yeah. I want you to lose five pounds. Start there.

Can we do that in bed? My advice- The choking keeps the food from getting down, I guess. Maybe you try to eat it. I'll choke you during dinner. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you.

I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. I'll choke you. My advice for dickheads is watch their vibe and see if they're into it. And even if they tell you they are, just transition to something chiller after 20 seconds if they're

clearly not having a good time. That way they can say they did kinky shit to their friends. But not actually have to have done it. Yeah. Choking just seems like they start like spasming and there's just have done it. Yeah. Choking just seems like... If they start spasming and... There's just nothing in it for you. Yeah.

Is that like the new anal? I remember like, oh, anal was like the big thing when we were teenagers, kind of. Like, I don't really... I don't want to pretend to be gay. Oh, and you put it like that. Yeah, I don't see why that would be a thing. I can just call you stupid. Is that what we're going for? Trying to humiliate?

Oh, okay. We can do that. I can do things that are way less messy. Yeah. That will make you feel bad. Yeah. Well, that's the bit. You have jokes on your side, you side. Yeah, that's true. Not everyone has jokes and that's in quotes If they're enjoying it though, make sure you just apply pressure to the sides of their neck around their sternum

He's got a how-to guy Otherwise you know and not the front of their arteries that's's how you actually deprive them of oxygen and kill them. I mean that's... Yeah... My problem... Hopefully you'd get a little warning before they're actually... You know, I mean, you could get somebody to pass out pretty quickly.

Yeah, you just gotta write, there's little notches in your trachea that you grab there, pinch it, you fucking kill them. But if they're, you know, hopefully you've got a little grace period. You're not doing it for five minutes and they're unresponsive and you know, oops. Oh, I'm choking you.

Oh God, look, I'm pressing on your neck. Oh, I'm gonna cum. Stupid. Okay, what time is it? We gotta go, that's it. Let's do voicemails and get out of here. I know, I keep wanting you to do a guitar talk, but I'll do it. Oh, you do? I'll do it? We gotta go. That's it. Let's do voicemails and get out of here. I know, I keep wanting you to do a guitar talk, but I'll do it.

Oh, you do? I'll do it next now. I'll do it next. I'll ramble too long. I have a song from, uh, from, uh, Trixie, formerly known as Digibro, too. Ah! I should've played that. I should've played that. Sure. Oh, Justin Gomez has a song, too. Fuck. I should have played that Ray Ray's man. I didn't plug anybody today. Fuck me. I guess I plugged Colin Shoemaker. That was nice of me. You did

I never know how to plug people. I'm like, I think it's funny, but you know plug your stuff. Yeah He is that that pedophile shit man man, is so funny. It's, I guess it's weird how people feel like, like they're trapped there. Like they're, like they can't just leave. Yeah. Yeah. Like you would think that as soon as they see like a grown man in a suit with a microphone,

you're like, this is gone. Being a jackass? to Jackass the plane the plane is crashed into the mountain like wait are you being a jackass I'm out of here I'm gonna be a jackass on me well I mean like I would think like you're a spy because you have to know you're doing something that's everybody has to know it's illegal whether or not they can justify it morally reality of it you want to just you I would think you'd want to bail as soon as you saw a dude with a beard and a suit coming at you.

I would like to think that the surrealism of it lures them into some sort of false reality where they're more likely to stick around. Possibly. But then maybe I don't, because that's what happened with Chris Hansen. These motherfuckers would sit around because there's TV cameras, like, oh, people get on TV and they're like, oh, I need to behave like I'm on TV. I don't because that's what happened with Chris Hansen these motherfuckers would sit around because it's like there's TV cameras like oh People get on TV and they're like oh, I need to behave like I'm an on TV like I have nothing to hide or like I'm just I'm a character now. I know it's weird. It's weird

Okay, here's here'sicto got no show, show Oh, no biggest problem goes Problems are bigger Are bigger than you And you are vetoed The girth that you have grown to the distance in your eyes Threats in writing I will be going to the police

Stupid fuck That's taking the corner That's dick in the corner That's dick in the spot Light losing biggest problem I'm trying to keep the show funny But he don't know if he can do it Oh no, he said too much. Or didn't say enough.

I thought that I smelled you crapping. I thought you delayed the stream. Do you wanna call this one? I think I thought I saw you cry. Like several times. Every skip super, every deranged Trying to argue with you Just a hurt, lost, and blinded fat fool Oh no, you said you were a stupid fuck Considered it, considered it doing the new show with me. Consider Dick, a chick that still has a penis.

Oh, he's saying he'll do the show with you. All these badasses come fucking around and now I said too much I thought that I heard you threatening I thought that you said police Think Beetle's a long song. That's a long song, that was great. Fat fat fat fat fat. Very funny.

He does so good on steroids. What, why? I don't know, that's a good question. Wanna be Vince McMahon? Yeah, he said he would start working out if we got him steroids. Me and the audience, I guess, I don't know. Okay.

There's a lot of illegality. Do it for a bit? Circling, yes. He'll only work out and get fit. And well, he won't actually. The scale bit is not, do you guys still do that? We missed this week. Nobody gave 50 bucks to get it.

Oh, no smashing of toys? No smashing of toys. That's the only week you've missed? That's the only week we've missed. That's the only week you've missed. Oh, wow. And I had something good in there this week. I didn't have anything good in there. Okay.

All right, all right, all right. Hey, Dick, hey, Sean. My problem is my rage this week is coworker talk. You know, you're getting through the job. Everybody, they say the same thing every fucking day. Oh, how's it going? Oh, I couldn't. Couldn't complain.

All those fucking little standard things. And then eventually you get so sick of it. And then you find yourself doing it yourself. And you go, oh my fucking God, I've become exactly what I hate. I've become the man. It happens sometimes. It's not easy to be the man.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't beat yourself up. Yeah, exactly. That's not the thing to beat yourself up over. You're plenty worse in many areas. All right. Hey, Dick.

I'm a fireman in a pretty big city in the Midwest. Can confirm the frat house nature. Oh, yeah. It is physically, imagine just getting paid to hang out with the boys for 24 hours. That's what I've seen. It is pretty fucking awesome. And everybody that rips on firemen is just fucking jealous.

I am very jealous. Anyway, if you ever want me to fall in about it, you'll have to answer some questions. All right, you too. Get paid to work out and goof around and cheat on your wife. Yep. Sign me up. And get fucking free drinks at bars

What happens if I don't save the people in the fire? Nothing. Yeah, I mean you tried I'm not doing I'm not saving them at home Yeah, well I can get paid for that shit Yep, he's he's right on all counts Okay Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Like every single person that has like a tummy ache, after they've had like a meal or something they've never had before,

they suddenly act like they have food poisoning. Everybody with a migraine. That guy that called last week about his mom and being, I don't know, just extended family. A sensitive stomach. Not food poisoning. Yeah, you're a pussy. Should eat so much.

And then being like, oh, I got a little sick. No, I think you just ate something that you weren't used to and you call it food poisoning. Much more likely. It's like being big boned for men. Yeah. Wow You feeling you got a little tummy ache there? No, I've got food poisoning, right? Okay Yeah, yeah, yeah bone. Yeah, okay bone. Dicks like dinosaurs were big bone Okay Hey, hey Sean, PBS box Boy, howdy how funny was was that Israel Trojan horse story? Making beepers beeper.

How about that word beepers for Hezbollah? I retarded asked when I was told about it by a friend. Yeah, Israel made a bunch of pages that was going to blow up Hezbollah. I was like, what do they have against that Russian midget that is like a Muslim. What the fuck? What? Turns out I was the retard all along. Is there some famous Like it sounds like the name of a I don't know. They killed all the guys in charge I think. Yeah. Israel killed all the Hezbollah guys in charge. I hope that I don't know I hope that works out for him. We got any we need a name for we need to come up with a name for A head of a religious organization that gets killed. Oh beliefs gotcha

Yeah, we think anyone's tried that no no Should be new this should be The Jews specifically have never tried The Jews specifically have never tried... You guys didn't... You didn't learn the last time? You still trying to kill the head of religious organizations? You think that's gonna work this time? God damn it.

Perseverance. You missed 100% of the shots you don't take, guys. Hey, good news, everybody. We killed the head of their religious organization. It's over. You did that again? It's over now. Yeah.

Oh, did you like... Glad that's settled. Did you come in and like help everybody, all the destitute people after that? Like, okay, you killed the head of the... Okay, fine. And you come in and you helped all the children, right? The young little boys, you helped all them the kids the children right the young little boys

You helped all them out right? No, we made fun of them. Yeah, okay Okay You guys are talking about that class-action lawsuit against only fans for Oversourcing the DMing to Indian guys. Uh-huh. Yeah, and I did know about that already But it wasn't something you brought it up now that I realized maybe this is partially about what the suit is or partially what the suit's about, but like, is that not also revenge porn in some way or like?

Yes! Like, you think that you're, all these guys are sending their pictures to wieners. You think you're sending it to a chick. To these chicks. To a wiener. And that it's actually just like a brown guy looking at them and sending their pictures to wieners. Sending it to a dude.

But like, is that not revenge porn? Okay, the robotty shit's driving me nuts, but that is revenge porn. Well, it's revenge- We gotta hammer these hoes. But it's revenge porn if they use it, right? No, it's sharing it. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Yeah.

You can't be sharing it at all. Well, wait, wait, wait. But are the people who are like writing back, are they sharing it? They are not- they are shared. Let them, giving them access to look at it is deceptive revenge porn. So you're like a hot whore and you're like, send me your dick and then you got a customer service team looking at your dick, that's revenge porn.

I'm done, I'm done defending- Disseminated to other people than the person- Call centers looking at your penis. You know? You took your penis, Yeah. You know? You took a penis picture for this hot whore. Right. A private penis, right?

Private whore relationship. Yeah, professional photographer. Right. Yeah, put a little hat on it. Exactly. This bitch has a whole call center looking at it. That's revenge born. Right. Boom.

Dressed up in one of those Western things that the whole family gets behind and one guy's going to jail and the other guy's the sheriff and yeah, yeah, yeah, just a bunch of dicks on it. Right. I can't think of a joke. Dicks. Sean. Yo. So just listen to the recent episode. I'm sorry. And the guy that called in with the bidet problem about if you're like shooting too hard or shooting too far. Yeah, true. Yeah. That's a big problem. That reminded me of a fucking rage that I've got where my bidet, instead of having clicks, it just kind of rotates. It's like a knob. Yeah. But it's got a rotate left and rotate right. The rotate left is for the pussy shooter and the rotate right is for the asshole shooter.

Oh, so it moves like that. So wherever I get my dial to where I need it, where it's that right amount of pressure, where it's not too soft and not too penetrative, I'll sit there for a minute on my phone and let it do its thing. And then I guess for some reason I'll have a brain aneurysm or something and I'll first get which way I'm supposed to twist it to turn it off. And I'll twist it the opposite way so it immediately shoots the highest pressure

just directly straight in my asshole. Love the show guys. Fuck you Dave. You got a pussy shooter on your bidet? Is that normal? Or is he talking in terms of water pressure? I don't know. He said left or right. I know. Left means a different nozzle, it sounds like. That's what it... I'm not sure. I don't know about any kind of pussy shooter that you have. Right. It could be that. That's strange.

But yeah, with the... You gotta get a different bidet. You gotta send that shit back. You need a tattoo that says righty tighty lefty loosey or something on your... Just gotta get a different bidet. You gotta send that shit back. You need a tattoo that says, righty, tighty, lefty, loosey, or something on your... Just like block it off. Yeah. Put like some glue on there, you know? Yeah. Put like a little Lego blocker on there. But he turns it the wrong way and it shoots his ass.

It shoots him in the pussy. No, he said shoots his asshole a fucking huge stream of water. Yeah. Yeah. But it's cause of the pussy concern. Yeah, I guess, yeah. Why the fuck is there a pussy shooting thing? I don't know, man, you're gonna have to explain more.

Maybe send a diagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah, draw it out. You're talking about a different nozzle that shoots you in your ball sack? Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what it sounds like. That's what I thought was gonna happen. I don't want that on my toilet.

No, I mean, you're playing, I mean, you know, depending on how you get some Russian roulette, man, they're like. Yeah, anything gonna happen. I don't want that on my toilet. You said that. No, it's a, I mean, you're playing, I mean, you know, depending on how you get some Russian roulette, man, they're like. Yeah, anything could happen. Yeah. You fucked up. Big show, I got a good one for you with idiots at the theater reacting.

On the inverse of your Matt Walsh one, I just went to go see the sound of music in theaters and there was, there's a scene in the movie where the main character takes a Nazi flag down and tears it with his bare hands. Oh, and when you know that in the entire movie, that's an analogy or just tell the analogy, just telling a story about resisting Nazi ideology and stuff, the entire idiot, Rob down to the crowd started applauding for the guy tearing down the banner

As if there was like an opposite basketball team of Nazis was uh, personally I wouldn't have called in if you shared your fun story about all the fatso's and the real- Hell yeah! Very predictable. Hell yes! What if Hitler volunteered at a dog rescue? He did! What do you mean?

I mean, you know, just like literally if they- If he helped an old lady cross the street, would that be- Yeah. This is very anti-Semitic shit that's happening right now. What about if we get a bunch of pedophiles to come to a movie and then show them that scene? And then stop it right when they're clapping and say, you're all pedophiles. You all showed up here.

We tricked them to show up. Right. Can we do that? Price is Right music. Or we do that with like liberals. We get them to come to a movie and right at that part where they're doing the Nazi flag thing right when they're clapping

just stop the movie dead turn on the lights and just come out like you guys are... I don't know. How do you finish that one? I don't know. It sounds like a joke worth pursuing. Yeah, there's something there. There's something to it.

Why not? Uh, we stopped the movie right there and then say, okay, if you hate Nazis, give, we're going to pass a collection plate around, put, uh, $20 in the, in the plate. Yeah. Okay. I'll dress up like an old Jewish lady and go, and I'll play like a fiddle music kind of like, like the American tail music coming out, Fievel Goes West.

Yeah. And I'll come out and go like, oh god! Fievel Goes West, that's a sequel, isn't it? Yeah. The first one, American Tail. I'll come out and go like, oh god, I was in a... I hate Hitler too! I'm passing around this collection plate, so I can get this tattoo removed or something.

Is that too much? I don't know. Well right, right, they're all primed, right? Like you guys were all cheering about the Nazi flag getting destroyed and I need surgery. Here's a plastic collection plate around. You didn't put $20 in the collection plate, young man. You Nazi. Yeah. And then I just do that every night. Damn, that's a good fucking scam. Yeah, it's like church, but... Right, but I hate the people that are there. You know? Right.

Well, nobody's holding a literal gun to their heads and relieving them of their money. Yeah, I think that would be good. All right, pause the movie. I need everyone to give me 20 bucks for Nate's Nazis. Hey there, Sean, Dick, Podcast Prophet, Holy Spirit speaking through me. How you doing? Okay.

Shame on you, Sean. What'd I do? And I think this might be the only negative thing I ever say about you. Wow, one too many. I think I might be the only negative thing I ever say about you. Wow. One too many. I'll just ask you one simple thing.

Remind him to go to the 3 cam thing when the hot chick comes out in the bikini. The what? Three cams. And you didn't. And I'm already into the fucking thing. Not bad. Yeah. Probably a minute and a half, two minutes, but like, you know, I mean,

how many people wanted to watch her walk in and then sit down? Cause I didn't know that she would be changing so fast. Waste up, you know, piss off basically. Yeah. I mean, the lifetime of dealing with women has led me to believe that they just take forever to do everything.

The chat had to tell. Yeah. Yep. Yep chat had to tell. Yeah. Yep. Yep. I wasn't... Someone sent me this necklace for the dog. I know. You showed that last week.

Oh, I did? Okay. I don't remember. Yep. I wasn't on it. My bad. One more. One more.

I gotta get out of here. Okay. That looks like a good one. Man, there's these gas stations in my city. Yeah. Quick trip. Yeah, I know. It's a great fucking gas station.

Yeah. Five star gas station. Oh yeah. They got like the, uh, like the roller hot dogs and taquitos and all that bullshit. Yeah. All the food groups. And these women, they start working at this gas station. Uh huh.

And they're usually like younger chicks, you know, that either didn't go to college or got some fucking stupid ass wasted time to agree and they work at a gas station. But from what I understand, it's actually a halfway decent company to work for. Anyway, so these chicks, they get this job and then you can just watch them get fatter by the week and you can just watch them shove these fucking taquitos in their face. And it's so depressing. Like, do you not see yourself? Like, if I ever get so fat that I have to buy an up-size in pants, it's over. It's over.

I gotta make a change. Yeah. These bitches put on a hundred pounds. It's unbelievable. Anyway, big gas station. It's unbelievable. Go fuck yourselves. Smooches for Sean.

They should just... As soon as somebody starts working there, it's like you take the before picture. Yeah. And then like at like certain, like, you know, corporation set intervals, they take an after picture. And like if you- Like for mental health. If you're like-

For mental health. If you're like, ooh, that's, that's a, yeah. Cause you need to, you know, it happens slowly if you look at yourself in the mirror every day. You start noticing things like, oh, your pants fit a little tighter, but you can rationalize that they shrunk in the dryer. Like, you know, that's so, yeah, you kind of need to see the... Yeah, it should be on their license. Women should have to put their pants size on their driver's license. That's license.