The Dick Show - Episode 433

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

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It's nice to have you back. How was Japan? Phenomenal. What was your favorite part? Did you see Whore Island? I didn't see, well Whore Island. That the red light district zone? In Osaka I did.

Did you walk by it? Yeah. Peep it creepily? Of course. Isn't it crazy how it's like a party in there? It's like a batch, it's like the opposite of Nashville. It's like a bachelor's party paradise. Well the place where I was, they were like in individual little houses with the mean old

lady sitting in front. Yes, yeah, the mean old, did they go, did they cover their eyes for foreigners? No. Oh, they just did that for ugly foreigners. No, they do for women. They do for women. The women got flipped off. What?

Yeah. What do you mean? Because they're, they figure you're not a customer and so they- That would have backwards nation. They don't want people to know, maybe some of these girls are putting themselves through college or whatnot. Oh yeah, sure.

Cock sucking college. They don't want any covers blown, but the men might be customers. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. What do you mean covers blown? That's not why they're covering their eyes. That's a sign of disrespect. Not the girls, the old women.

The old women. Because they don't want Yakuza sitting like in front, going like, it's a sign of disrespect. Not the girls, the old women. The old women. Because they don't want Yakuza sitting like in front, you know, going like, it's a little intimidating. So they want the mean old lady sitting in front so she can kind of, you know, do the business. Honestly, I'd give more horny if there was a gangster sitting there doing, you know, talking shit.

Oh, they're there. That's part of the experience. Just not in plain sight. They're in the back of the house, you know? Yeah. The mean old lady though, oof. I don't want to get a withering look from a mean old lady. No.

She's probably seen 10,000 cocks in her life. It's like, oh, go ahead. That weekend. Yeah, that weekend. Go ahead little boy. Yeah, it was a- Let me see your penis. Yeah, it was cool.

It was cool. What else did you see? Did you see any shrines? I'm working on about zero hours sleep in the last week. I think I stayed up for like 31 hours yesterday. Did you see the monkeys? Did you go to the monkey sauna? Oh man! Wasn't that great? I told you it was like a five mile hike to get up to those fuckers.

Yeah, it was a ways. It didn't go to a spa. You went to the wrong monkey sauna then. It's a different monkey place. What? It was in Kyoto. How many high monkey places are there? There's the place where you go to the hot springs and they get in there in the wintertime. I think it's in the mountains above Kyoto. Yeah! They got two?

You went to the bad one. There was no spa up there. Really? There wasn't a spa that the monkeys were sitting in? Not at... That's another area. Oh, shit. Now, I don't even remember if we saw monkeys in a sauna. Yeah, we saw monkeys. We saw monkeys.

Did you feed them? No, I didn't feed them. A dollar. You scrimped on a dollar and not feed little baby monkeys. Yeah, you go into like the cage or whatever and hand it to them through the bars or whatever. But they were... I mean, they're literally... Those fuckers peel apples. They bite the skin on the apple and peel the apple and spit the skin away. Like, I don't want to eat this shit. Yeah, I mean, they completely ignore you.

Like, they're real good about not, you not having food in your hands up there, you know? Because they don't want to like, you know, there's some other countries where the rules are a little more lax and the monkeys are morbidly obese and aggressive. You know? At TSA? I mean, I mean in, you know, like Thailand and stuff like that. So you get these monkeys that are a little, they're a little bold. They feel themselves a little much.

No, these are cool. These are monkeys that are chill. Well, they're very chill. Yeah. And they just, they walk right by, you know, and they don't even pay any mind because you don't have any food and they know where to go to get the food. But yeah, and they, you know, well, it was cool. It was cool. I saw all kinds of shit.

Saw a million shrines, a million temples. You see any drunk, passed out Japanese businessmen in the bushes? Stuff like that? Maybe like one or two. I saw a couple of people sleep on a bench, but yeah. It was, yeah, not too- You see any homeless people there?

Not too much. Well, the homeless people in Japan are like the- They stay in an area. Yeah. Like in Osaka, we took this kind of like a back streets like tour, which was one of the coolest things. Dirty Osaka tour.

I did, yeah. Yeah. And it's cause it's, Osaka is very heavily Yakuza. Like- You see any of those guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys wearing suits, standing out in front of, you know, like gambling but not gambling establishments.

Yeah, it's funny how it goes. I saw one guy walking around, the only guy I saw smoking on the street. And he had like, it looked like a punk rock, like somebody LARPing, cos cosplaying as an 80s punk rock guy walking down the street, right? You know, not running into anyone, but just having attitude. Well there's a big rockabilly scene there too. This is a different thing.

Ooh, we might get some guitar talk today. Yakuza usually, well dressed, we will get guitar talk today. Okay, I'll load it up. I'm meaning to do it. Yeah. They drive real nice cars. Their license plates look different. Because remember, they're heavily involved in the mafia. Well, no, they're heavily involved in the politics

of different prefectures. Oh, the Yakuza is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the mafia here is Yakuza is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, the mafia here is supposed to be a secret society. That's why like no tattoos, no anything like that. Some dumb asses still fucking get them. Italians, you know, they're right away like,

hey, we're the best at keeping secrets. Say, oh, yeah, like, okay, Gary. You've been saying that a lot. You've been saying that for decades. I'm starting to not believe you. It wasn't just John Gotti who brought down the American mob. I mean, people were pretty out, you know, when they shouldn't have been for a long time.

But Yakuza were like, yeah, we get tats. We are criminals. Yeah. Like, what are you gonna do? But you can't do anything about it. We run you. So it's different, different areas are different. But a friend of mine taught in Japan for a little bit.

And he's like, he's seven feet tall. I think he's gigantic. And- I was definitely tall for the country. The only, most of the only people who were anywhere near my height were foreigners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like there's some Japanese that are fairly tall.

Yeah. Everyone's so skinny there too. The women, oh my God. Yeah. Dude, we went to this festival last weekend and it's like it's heartbreaking how fucking fat they had a beauty contest at the festival and honestly even the hottest chicks there were still thick and I'm like Bro, I just can't every time so I was a fucking planet The winner was painted blue like that bitch from the opening games at the Olympics when I saw when I saw white people there

I was like, okay, there's hot chick, hot chick, hot chick, foreign chick, foreign chick, foreign chick. Every time I heard an American accent on a woman, she was large. I was like, oh, I'm fucking, of course. I was like, God, God damn. God damn, we gotta get RFK Jr. in there.

We gotta get RFK in the White House. Right, supplements. Run these bitches, right? We gotta make America he- ma-ha! Make America healthy again. There you go. Well, yeah, you know, our health care system doesn't care about health. Fifty years ago, these people would be in a circus, he said. Yeah. Because they're so fat. That's right. Um...

That's right. So you saw some Yakuza. Yeah, saw some really cool shit. Um... Yeah, it's funny in Osaka, there is like a homeless section. And basically he said, look, we're not going over there because it's not a zoo

and they're not animals. You know, like it's a little, and I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. But somebody asked like, do they basically like stay over there? And there are facilities for them where they can, if they can sleep indoors in like certain areas and get a shower. But he's like, yeah, they, they basically stay over there. They don't

cross the street to, you know, to go to the other. Cause we saw like, like the really like low end, like low rent district in Osaka too. But across the street from that is the homeless. But the houses are like a hundred thousand dollars and then that's it. They depreciate over time. You can rent a studio for 300 bucks a month. Vito's always talking about living over there. I would.

Because it's closer to Thailand. Yeah, maybe so. He could do some sex tourism and stuff. Right, right, him and Gary Glitter and you know. God. No, it was pretty amazing. Amazing place. I might have went overboard on the pedo stuff this week.

Oh, did you really? Well, we got a sponsor on the biggest problem. Really? And Vito's sending, he's like, what do you think about this? What sponsor? It was like progress.win or something. And I'm like, I know that's it.

I know that's some liberal shit. I know that's some like, you know, liberal shit that they're paying influencers for at the last minute. So I said, hey, get the money up front. What are they supposed to do? They're just supposed to, honestly, it's probably just a of fun. What are they supposed to do? They're just supposed to... It's probably just a data funnel. They want people to sign up so they can harvest your data

and sell it to every Democrat campaign so they can fucking print a ballot for you and send it in just in case you forgot. I've never signed up for anything, and I get Democrat and Republican shit all the time. It's like, Trump's blah blah blah blah blah. I I'm like I don't fucking do any of this shit, so it's it's other Other places are selling your data people will sell your data anywhere This the whole concept of there being like data breaches and selling data is we're way past that point

Who are you guys who are guys you're bullshitting here? We're way past that point What am I gonna un-piss in the pool? Right. The first time it was breached, it's breached forever. Yeah. That's it. No putting the shit back in that horse, as they say. I mean, it's not even that bad, honestly. Like, I get a couple of spam texts.

It's only my own, it's only my own loser-ness that makes me mad about it, because I wish someone else was texting me. And then when that happens, I just ignore it. Fair enough. So, it's like, this is, this says more about me than it says about anything else. Yeah. Um...

No, it's way, it's, there are plenty, you know, you can get mad about plenty of things. Like, that shit is not really one of them anymore. My dad is like, I got all this spam. I'm like, why many spams you got? I was like, seven today. I'm like, oh. Yeah. Yeah, well, you can have...

Woo! Amateur. You probably never even missed a real email in spam, have you, dad? Yeah. He's like, what do you mean? Oh yeah, there you go. Real fucking rough life you've got over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Count Spammulies. Well, you know what they struggle with and what subsequent generations struggle with is a relative thing. I mean, to them it's a big deal. Yeah, hey, you're getting, that's a scam. Yeah. Well, how do you know?

Yeah. I mean, what do you mean? How do I know read it because you people have been scamming us for that? Yeah Yeah, my generation and our generation is the best at recognizing scams because of you Yeah, cuz you lied to us constantly everything built a whole apparatus around your lies Yeah, so you could die without ever having to answer any of them, right? We finally we got we invented the internet just to fucking stump you guys. Yeah, just to, right. Like, uh-oh, our kids are getting one over on us.

Yeah, the worst thing that happened to anybody, I feel stupid. Yeah. That's their big, that's the tragedy in their life that they might just once actually feel stupid. That a kid can do something that they can't. Yeah, I looked this up. Turns out you were wrong. Ah! Boomer rage.

What was I talking about? Something about- Japan. Oh, the sponsor. Oh yes, yes, yes. It was like progress.win. Whatever it was, yeah. And I said, oh Vito, get the money up front for this one.

Sure. Cause I got, I mean, I'm not. That's what my uncle told me to get if I was ever dealing with a Christian group. He said, get the fucking money up front. They got the money too. Yeah. No, no.

They got tons of money. Yeah. God, it wouldn't be great if we could tax those fuckers. Wouldn't it though? So you read the ad and it's like, progress, thought, win. You got to go register. Sure, of course. And we got to get young people voting. And we do. That's the sponsor. That's the's like progress, thought, win. You gotta go register. Sure, of course. We gotta get young people voting.

That's the sponsor? That's the sponsor? The DNC, yeah. Sure. So I said, yeah, and then it says in the ad, it's like, talk about your personal party preferences and what's important to you about voting. Like, oh, good, I can't wait to do that part.

So I'm like, Tim Walz is a child molester. Jesus Christ. Like you said, you went overboard on the- Cause they did that AI of him, some jackass. It was like, I got credible evidence and then made some AI video of it. And I feel like Marty McFly in Back to the Future. I'm like, this is amazing.

Oh good. I want to talk about Marty McFly today. Me too. What do you want to talk about Marty McFly for? It's gonna be guitar talk. It's gonna be the obvious one first. Okay, wait a minute. Hang on. We haven't started the show yet. Okay, wait a minute. I can find the guitar talk.

Yeah, here we go. I gotta get this on the thing somewhere. I gotta get this on the thing somewhere. Yeah! Welcome to You Want a Dicky, You Need a Dicky, Love a Dicky, You Get it! Show it in every contest, come and show it wherever there's a contest, coming to you live from Mount Barker,

Deep in the Larger City, Failure. I'm your host, Dick Mashen, AKA the $20 million man, joining me back in the sack? Sean the audio engineer, world touring. Back in the cesspool. Back in the cesspool. I really have no idea what I'm saying right now. You see the Dodgers beat the Yankees though. Unbelievable. Well, yeah, I was in Japan for the first game when Freeman hit the the walk-off grand slam. Oh! I know, crazy. And then last night, I thought they were going to gag it away last night. I was falling asleep at like, you know, at like seven PM. And then you came over and you said the line that is like

my most hated phrase in the history of mankind, which is to get over jet lag, you just got to wait and stay up and then go to sleep. That's what I found. It's the only that I found, because I never did it. But I finally, I stayed up till about 9.30 last night. Unfortunately, the dog wanted to, you know, you know, had a little trouble going to sleep,

then the dog wanted to get up early, because she's used to boarding time. So she's clacking around and jumping and running. They know their nails make noise. Yeah, popping up on the bed to see if anybody's up, you know, that's like come on Let me see PR. Yeah, that's your dog. Oh, yeah, sometimes We we we gave the dog to my parents when we went to that festival last weekend and I said hey Just one thing to do for me

Don't fucking start feeding her before eight cuz she'll work you back Yeah, because then she's gonna pretend like she doesn't know that when she gets back here, I don't wanna be waking up at six. They do that. So I go pick the dog up and she's really hungry and it's like noon. I noticed that, I can't help but notice that mom,

the dog is very hungry at noon. So uncharacteristically hungry. Perchance, did you feed her before eight today? And she goes, oh, I fed her at 5.30 when I woke up. She was just so eager to eat. Of course. OK, thanks. Ma, she's a lab.

Thanks for that. The dog. And then my dad goes, she doesn't know what time it is. I'm like, you, out. Yeah. You, out of here. She absolutely does know what time it is. This is between me and her.

Dogs have a better sense of time than we do. As far as when things are supposed to happen. Dogs, labs in particular, are like homeless people. They always want- You can give them change. Yeah, that's a matter. And then they will turn around and ask you for change immediately.

Like I haven't even left yet. I was hoping you wouldn't remember that you just gave me change. Yeah. I hate thinking about that. I think like, man, is this dog just like hungry all the time? Like that sounds like hell. They think they are.

Yeah, what's the difference? I guess so. So progress.win pays us 500 bucks to do the ad read. And I'm like, well, you know, I mean, 500 bucks doesn't really mean that much. Why would Vito think that that was worth it in any way, shape, or form? No, it's an ad, who cares?

It's great. Go sign up. I don't give a fuck. He's not gonna, but yeah, but he's not gonna, that's not gonna sit well with him because he goes, oh God, look what I did. Well, he's more in the Maddox camp of like, well, the advertisers paid paid us so we owe them

Something I'm like you don't know them shit you read the thing. Yeah, fucking pay me It said talk about what's important you and I said a candidate. That's not a child molester They don't say how to talk about yeah, what they get. Yeah, what's important to me exactly? Yeah, that computer the AI said that he molested a kid and I I'm like, this is, oh, this is the most beautiful. You know, I felt like Marty McFly, because I'm like, you know, you guys aren't ready for this, but your kids are going to love this. It's going to be AI talking about it. And it's going to be illegal, too.

So everyone's going to go, well, it's got to be real, because it's illegal. You know? Sure. He made it illegal. Peter Thiel made it illegal so he could run the entire CIA with AI. There you go. But it's been a real white pill for me.

A white pill? A white pill, that's like good. Have we talked about white pills? Cernovich probably brought in white pills. That was rainbow pills. Eight years ago. Oh yeah, that was, no, that was a stereosis rainbow pill. Yeah, I know.

Those. So I go in, I'm hatin' beat, I was like, oh, I don't know what this is. You know, you didn't think I was gonna talk about that, did you? You thought I'd talk about the economy and immigration? Nah, that's gay shit. Right, right. What do you think of my, this was my costume,

my Halloween costume last night? Yeah, I like it, I was gonna comment on that. Well, this was my costume, actually. So, okay. I'm the man from Nantucket. My girlfriend says I'm gonna be, she says I'm the man from Nantucket. Yeah. My girlfriend says I'm gonna be, she says I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be she sells seashells by the seashore.

No shit. And you should go as a pirate. No one has ever been that. I never heard of that before. Sally? Is it Sally sells seashells? So you thought it was Sally sells seashells too? That's all I think, yeah.

One of her Asian friends said that. Or is it she sells seashells by the seashore?. I always thought it was she well, maybe that's what it is I like when women have names in fiction. It's like I don't know where I got Sally So I'm not the only one who I'm not the only one who pulled Sally. Okay. No, it's on it. It's a Mandela effect Yeah, is it it's Berenstain or or yeah, right Hershawitz bears. Which one is it Berenstain? Berenstain everything I grew up with Berenstein or whatever Hershawitz bears, which one is it? Berenstain. Berenstain. Yeah, everything's- And I grew up with Hershawitz. Berenstein or whatever.

Hershawitz bears? Yeah. That doesn't have the same ring to it though. Well. So is it- It's the Mandel effect, man. Maybe it is, I mean, maybe it is just she. Anyway, she goes-

Is there a Sally poem? I looked it up and there is some, it goes both ways. Really? Sally sells seashells. It's not as- You're giving away a syllable. Really? Sally sells seashells, you're giving away a syllable. Yes, no you're right, you're right. You're kind of doing a head start. It should be she.

She's already messing you up. Yes. So she goes, I'm gonna be, she sells seashells by the seashore, you should be the pirate. And I said, I'm gonna do you one better. The pirate in the poem? I'm gonna go as a, yeah, like sea, seashore, whatever. I think she just likes, you know, women love.

Pirates? Pirates, they love the tongue twister whatever you're whatever. I think she just likes, you know women love pirates pirates Oh, okay. They love the rape the pirate rape pillaging. Yeah booty and stuff. Yeah They love it. Right. Maybe I should have done that pirate rape The the zoomer girls did not understand there has to be a pirate rate genre of porn, right? Oh, yeah gotta be yeah. Yeah They just dress homeless people up because they smell like a pirate right? Oh yeah. Gotta be. Yeah. Yeah. Rich men. They just dress homeless people up because they smell like a pirate, right? Oh, you mean actual porn?

I mean like chick porn, like literature porn. Oh. Where they read books. Where they read. About manhoods. About pirate rape. Skipping giant sections of the book when they get bored.

Too much. You know women do that? No, I didn't know that. It's like my planets question. Yeah. You know my various questions to stump women I didn't. It's like my planets question. You know my various questions to stump women. This is when they all do this. They skip big chunks of books. Cause it's boring?

Yeah, cause they get bored. And they're like, I don't need to read this. Maybe I get back to the certain. I gotta get back to the juicy manhood stuff. Really? You might miss a plot point or two. They don't. They don't?

That's the crazy thing. Cause they don't know what's going on in any story ever. So I'm like, hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Something happened. All right. Bunch of stuff happened. So this was so I said, no, I'm going to do you one better. Who is? I think you just. Oh, I hit it. All right. Yeah. With the. I said, I'm going to be the man from Nantucket. Yeah. Because who's that? Who's that? I said, man from Antucket, he's got a dick so big he could suck it. You know? That's one version. With a granny wiped off his chin, I said if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it, because that's not appropriate. I'm like well. Yeah, I um. I got the dilt. I actually didn't know that whole version there. I got the dick for it. Yeah. So then I was going around like who are you? Oh, a man from Antucket. You're like a dildo guy? I'm like no, I'm not dildo guy. Right. I'm the man from Antigua. Dick's so big, like, oh, okay. Did you skip that part in the book?

Nobody cared. Yeah. Like, this is gold, man. Yeah. But then the photography came up to me. That rose before swine. And then she's like, oh, is that dildo? Is that your dick?

Yeah. I've been seeing it like all over. It's in every picture I have. And I said, oh, that's good. What are you passing it around for other people to take pictures with? I said, Oh, that's good. Real. What are you passing it around for other people to take pictures with? I guess I don't even remember. Damn. Well, whatever gets it off the wall. Um, okay. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. The voting thing.

You gotta go vote. Okay. It's not the end of the country, you know, that's already been, that's a foregone conclusion. Yeah, but it's, it is the end of men, if Kamala wins. Oh, the end of men? It will be the end of men. You think so? Men across America will be emboldened to just laugh constantly at nothing.

It will be the end of men. This is far more serious than I thought. It's very much more serious than the end of the country, Sean. They're downplaying it as the end of, you know, whatever, democracy, capital, that shit doesn't matter. Democracy is stupid. It's not.

It's not a real thing. It's not a thing. Everybody just gets too much money at some point, and they don't want to kill each other or die. So they're like, oh, let's evolve and have democracy. And I'm like, all right, well, I mean, it's just a bunch of guys like, you know, kind of making a decision and then forcing it through if they don't like the decision. But what's really going to happen is it's the end of men. Okay. If Kamala gets in. So you got to go out. Okay. You got to go. Have you filled out your,

you and your girlfriend's voting cards yet? I have not. You got to get on top of it. Okay, I'll get right on that. Men are done. I used Grok to vote this time. Grok? What's Grok? The Twitter AI? Huh. I just asked it. I went, because I don't know who the fucking these people are, right? Grok has a Twitter AI, huh? Yeah, you know that. Twitter has an AI. You know, Elon's whole like, I'm not putting like, bullshit. I'm not putting all this like, you know, I can't draw white people and can't say, my AI says N-word, like, or well, it doesn't, but it would. But it wants to.

Yeah, it wants to say the N-word. It's not gonna do stupid shit like, would you say the N-word to disarm a nuclear bomb? And AI is like no How did you come to that? That's how this is broken this AI is broken then right? I'd say it to get a firework to light What about saying it to to do the nuclear bomb would you say like, oh, well in that case, yeah. If you had to, you know, if you had to nuke someone, right?

Let's say there was a country you had to nuke. If you had to nuke Gaza, if they found a couple guys hiding underground in Gaza and we really had to nuke them, would you say the N-word? May I have another, please? Okay. So I use grok to vote,

where I just went with all the races, you know? Yeah. Cause I can't, you can't find any information on these people. Yeah. It's like Fargis Lorgis and Gonzalo Ramirez. Fargis Lorgis? Yeah.

And you used to think- I heard he's a child molester. Might be. You used to think you could just use race to pick, like, all right, I'll just pick the- Race. Yeah, I'll just pick the white one, right? But then you can't even-

Oh, race. I thought that was an AI. The race AI? Race AI, yeah. That's, who uses that? Yeah. What company put that one out? Race AI.

These white supremacists, 4chan better not get no AI. You know? They get their hands on, I don't think so. They almost stole Microsoft. They trained it to be a Holocaust denier. Certain countries to have nuclear weapons, right? We can't let so and so have nuclear weapons. We can't let 4chan have race AI. We don't want to explain ourselves. All right, if they have a nuclear bomb,

we're going to have to talk it over with them. We don't want to have to do that. Right. So I went on Croc AI. But you can't just pick based on race, because then the politicians learned that and they started swapping their races around. Sure, sure.

You know? Like, hi, I'm not, I'm like, Gustavo Ramirez. You're Chinese though. What is that? What are you talking about? So I went on Grok and I just put in the names and said, which one is least woke? Oh.

And it had a really good explanation. Even the ones where it's barely. Well, here's some statements from them. Oh, there you go. Let's have's you decide. This could be seen as more woke. However, while it is a progressive policy, because they're all, you know, insane Democrats on our ballot,

except for Steve Garvey, the baseball player. Well, he's a Republican. Yeah, but everybody, every other race is just like, who can be more insane and woke? Yeah, but what about the Republicans who are opposing them? In California? You really don't vote. You think there's California,

if there's Republicans in our ballots, there's not. Well, there are. There's like the Senate and stuff, but in all the small races, no. Yeah, well, I mean, you're saying the Republicans are not. They're not running anybody. Oh, no, no, in some places they're not. Yeah, that's true.

So I went, oh thank you. So I would go, which is least welcome. It goes, well, they both have progressive policies. However, this one's progressivism is they're not touting the identity, the racial identities. They are talking about race, but not in a way that's a racial, that's a pretty well, that's a pretty well rounded.

Great. I didn't have to do any work for this. Great. That one. Okay. That one. I went down the whole list. It was fucking amazing. Got it.

You know, it's devastating. You should try to vote. Because voting is a waste of time. Different technology, like with every, every time it comes up. Yeah. Just be, yeah, be interesting to see. Yeah. They try time it comes up. Yeah. It'd just be interesting to see. Yeah, they try to steal your time voting.

You gotta learn about it and stuff, waste of time. So it relies on people whose time has no value. There you go. Okay, let me see what else I got here. So Kyle, vote for everybody else, whatever. My girlfriend got back from the store. Is it Halloween yet? Well, soon enough. We almost done with this shit? Yeah. You know how many dog costumes I got in this house? Oh, do you have some? Yeah. Does your girlfriend dress your dog up? Not normally, but like, no, does she normally, she will

wear a themed bandana sometimes. Oh, okay She's good about wearing that. Yeah, she has like a she has like Jack Lantern, you know ones and she has like Thanksgiving ones And I think she has a Christmas one. We've got a whole she looks she's she's cute in it. I don't mind saying that Yeah, yeah, she does have a shark costume that we a shark shark She looks at yeah, which is kind of her personality too. So it's but she there's pictures, but she does have a shark costume that we... A shark? Shark, she looks, yeah. Which is kind of her personality too, so... But she, there's pictures, but she won't be put in the shark costume again. Oh, okay. Um, well this one's got, this one's got a costume, I don't know if she's gonna put it on.

What is it? A Wayne, Wayne's World. Really? Garth. The dog's got a Garth costume. Wow, with the fucking, with the straw hair and the... And the glasses and everything, I'm like, honey, this is not... How is she about wearing shit like that?

She does not like it. I mean, what? No, normally they don't, you know? So she goes to, my girlfriend goes to the, to the Halloween spirit store, you know, that like Halloween store. The one in Burbank? They're all over the place now.

There's the one in Burbank that never closes, you know? Like there's- I don't know why. There are year round Halloween stores other than the one that I know about? Yes! Like in Hollywood or something? Yes! They're rolling out, they're replacing the CVS

down the street that they shut down because some people got shot in it. Oh really? You know, in COVID also. Oh good. They're replacing that with a round the clock Halloween store, which I did not. So a bunch of people shooting people can get masks

year round. Yeah. Yeah. So she goes, I'm going to the Halloween store. Do you want to go with me? Like, come on, why would you ask something like that? Obviously not. Obviously yes, right?

Yeah, no. Yeah, I mean, you didn't want to go? Fuck no. See, I've, yeah, but you love, but you love Halloween. You know, women have gotten so fat, I'm kind of over it. You used to a Halloween store. But you love Halloween. You know, women have gotten so fat, I'm kinda over it. You used to love Halloween. I really did. But it broke your heart.

Yeah, yeah. And your scale. And second floor. Broke my eyeballs. I'm being assaulted by these heffa-lumps. Yeah. It's like- Yeah, see, I would- You know, like I was saying at the festival, even the hot ones are thick. Yeah, it's like I see I like I was saying at the festival. Even the hot ones are are thick. Yeah, it's like

Yeah, I what are we doing here? Come on? Yeah, man, Japan. I should have just stayed That's how I felt. I really should have just stayed get one of those $100,000 houses or whatever. I could really ramp up my hotami tanaka stocking if I lived in Japan I'll tell you what, straight up, like I've always been the guy, like in my 20s, I'd be like, ah, no, she ain't interesting. She's like, yeah, but she ain't. I got- Wait, what?

What are you talking about? Bro, I got looks from Japanese women. I haven't gotten in 15 years consistently. And I think- Really? Yeah, I think it was like, well- Wow! I think he might be good looking. He's white, so he could be 30 or 60.

I can't tell, but like I think, but you don't have very much gray hair. I know what that, when it's short, like now I see it on the sides. Yeah. But what kind of looks you're getting? I mean, looks that are universal. You're having the wrong time. Like universe, like it was like, wow, like, I was like, wow, my ego was fucking huge.

And now it's back to... Thinking about your big penis. Now it's back to nothing. Because as soon as you turn 40, you stop getting looked at. Unless you're dressed like a motherfucker. Or, you know what I mean? Especially in California, they're like, oh, he's broken four, you know, like.

Yeah, nevermind. Not the case in Japan. I was shocked. I gotta go back. I was shocked. I gotta go back to Nintendo World. I'm old enough to know. When you're getting looked at?

Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. Well, thank you. That's great. Now I have to go home and kill myself. I just get a bunch of confused looks. 5,500 miles away from anybody who gives a shit.

We could move the whole show there. Okay, let's do it. And get new Japanese wives or girlfriends or whatever. Leave these fucking broads here. Oh, man. Open a guitar studio or something, know sure you could just talk about old guitars Japanese guys are coming like oh oh oh oh Japan has so good so good a lot of the lot of the highest the most expensive vintage guitars are with

Japanese collectors so starting in the 80s oh yeah why yeah because of Yamaha well be no just they fucking knew they were investments and it was America It was like the pinnacle of American culture for that in that in that area. So yeah, I mean there are yeah, it's Obviously it's driven the price up because there there's a lot of dragons and you know, like they say, you know speculators ruin hobbies Right. Yeah, you know, so it's but I mean they're they're sitting on ruin hobbies, right? Yeah. You know, so it's, but I mean, they're, they're sitting on, they're sitting on millions

and millions and millions of dollars. And guitars over there. And yeah, in mint vintage guitars. So my girlfriend goes to the Spirit Halloween store. Couldn't believe she said this. I had to do a double take. And she comes back and she goes, I almost spent 40 bucks on a Halloween wreath for the door.

Halloween wreath, okay. Yeah, but she's like, I got up to the register and I just couldn't stop thinking of your fucking face. Yeah. If I came home with this. And the comments on the podcast. Yeah, and I put it back. Yeah, wow.

This is wonderful. One of the greatest days of my life. Wonderful for me. Yeah. You shouldn't be, you shouldn't be thanked for doing the right thing. You know, you're learning what's correct behavior. So instead I, what I put, I put it back,

but what I took with me was a little bit of resentment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Resentment's free. Yeah, yeah. A little bit of resentment. Pretty soon I'm gonna have a purse full of resentment. And then she's like, it was a trick-or-treat wreath. So even worse than like an IP-themed R-treat, that movie.

Yeah. Oh. With apostrophe R instead of an R. Yeah, it's like an anthology, it's like a campy movie about Halloween. But it's IP trash, like I hate, you know. It's like, oh, Merry Christmas from Bugs Bunny. Like, okay, I don't need this IP pollution in every aspect of my life. I don't need to see an ad.

That's what I heard Space Jam was, the most recent one was just nothing but Warner Brothers IP, like as shoved in as they could get. Yeah, it was bad. It was really bad and dumb. I was never gonna see it, but like, you know. The first one made more sense because like they're sucked into Toonland.

Yeah. But this one is like they got sucked into the WB's cloud. There you go. What? That doesn't make any sense. Sure. And LeBron just, I just fucking hate LeBron. Oh yeah, was he not good in it?

No, but Michael Jordan wasn't good. Well no, no, totally not. But I at least like Michael Jordan. Like I feel like he's trying. I don't know, LeBron, if I had to pick him or Kobe that died in the helicopter crash, that'd be hard. Ha! You know, I would've wished the helicopter

would crash into LeBron's house. This is how I feel about so many things. Like it's like, not only do I want that person to die, I want them to take out like some other people. You know how many Kobe murals are painted on buildings downtown in LA now? Yeah, I mean, yeah, in the valley too, everywhere. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, and it's all like the, you know, the angels shit. Like, oh, he's an angel. Oh, cause the, yeah, yeah. And it's all like the angels shit. Like, oh, he's an angel, oh, cause the, yeah, LA. There's one on- The city of angels. In the valley though, on Lancashim, like just north of Burbank, there's like a garage. You know he raped that woman, right? There's like an auto body garage.

Yeah. That is actually- Oh yeah, that's a prime mural spot. Dude, the artwork on it, if you ever happen to see it, you'll know what I'm talking about. But it's all LA, it's Vin Scully. It's like, yeah, it's Kobe, and it's really, it has nothing to do with like.

I wanna sort of stomping the Twin Towers down for those two Dodger wins against me. I had that GIF pulled, I had a Twin Towers GIF pulled up. It's like, oh, come on, come on. They won. Tweed! Dodgers versus Yankees, Twin Towers. Yeah!

They got two more to go, man. Look, they can win the series if their bats stay, but I still, I don't trust pitching as far as I can throw it. I just don't, I just don't. Ben burned too many times. You got your entire starting lineup out. It's a good start though.

Well no, you- Starting two in the hole sucks. Couldn't be better. Shitty feeling. Couldn't be better. You know, they say the series doesn't start till the home team loses. And there's some truth to that.

However, down O2, it doesn't look good for the Yankees, but you have to realize that the Dodgers are the biggest World Series losers. The Dodgers are the biggest World Series losers. The Dodgers are the biggest World Series losers in history. And I always think that Dave Roberts will do something. Oh yeah, the murals. Yeah, the murals. Anyway, this is a really good one.

Mexicans will buy an auto body shop. And that's the first, like they don't care about the name. They just name it like A-A-A. They don't even name, sometimes the phone book comes along and they're like, you don't have a name for your auto repair place? Like, oh no, what do you mean? I'm the auto repair.

I'm just gonna put like, what's your name? Jose's auto repair, right? But the murals, they're like, oh man. What am I gonna put on here? Rick and Morty? Oh damn. Tweety Bird? You know? Yeah, Tweety Bird. They love Tweety Bird. Um. They do? Mexicans? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, why would they like Tweety Bird?

I don't know. In particular. I think they want to fuck him. Or her. Is Tweety Bird a woman? I think that they want to fuck her, because it's like that's the kind of like woman they like. Tweety Bird. Tweety Bird. Yeah, from Sylvester. I don't know. It's among Latinos. What the hell? What the hell are you talking about? They fucking love Tweety Bird! Why?

I don't know! They just like that everything Tweety Bird is about! Do you need to ask like your dad's family or something? Maybe you're not Mexican enough to explain it. You get a bunch of bullshit answers from them. Well, then, but man. Yeah, but the bullshit answers that sound like bullshit to you and me might actually mean something to them. If I hear- I gotta know about Tweety Bird and Mexicans.

If I hear one more black congressman talking about how we need illegal Mexican laborers to pick cotton or else groceries are gonna be expensive. I'm gonna, I might say the N word for real. Oh no. It's really fucking, it's really starting to piss me off. If I see another black or Jewish person talking about how we really need these illegal Mexicans to cross the border and get raped and shit

To pick to pick free food for everybody That's really starting to fucking annoy me And I don't even expect white people to understand this because it's not that's not something that white people do why don't ever get upset For any reason if something's directed at them Like if they get on TV and said white people should be in the fields, picking white people, like, ha, you know, you got us there. Yeah, you know what? But it's never gonna happen.

You've heard me talk like that. Well, we invented a machine, actually, that could do it. You're right. It's funny, I never get offended when somebody talks shit about white people. Never! Because I'm like,

I mean, we still control everything. You know? Yeah, you guys never get upset about anything. Yeah, not when it comes to that. No, I mean, I think some people do. I think some people do, but like, I just don't. They're only upset. What I've noticed about all like the race

realist people and the JQ people is they don't even really get upset that it's happening. They're like getting upset that other people aren't upset. That's what they're upset about mostly No, there's a lot of truth to that. You got in a lot of things. You know they're running things like aren't you upset like not really Yeah, not really. Why aren't you upset? Not in the big scheme of things. Are you upset that I'm not upset or are you upset that they're running the world? Which is it? Because I think it's the second one. I know I know the psychology of white people enough by now Look it only uh, you know, like, that's the thing.

You come into like a country that's like all like, you know, I don't know, black or Hispanic or whatever, you only need like three white guys. They'll be running that shit. They'll be running that shit in like a week. Come on, look at history. It doesn't take any- It's true. It doesn't take anybody. I'm good.

I'm not good. I'm not good and that means nobody's good. Nobody's good. The people who are already in are good. The rest of us is all going to be the fucking same. And yet they go like, oh well it's this person. It's this group. It's this like this. Well, because I'm going to work. That's why. That's why I'm not upset.

What do you mean? Just wait till there ain't no real work for anybody. Cause that's coming. So that I realize, I'm thinking, well, that must be my not white side. I'm always, you know, I'm conflicted every once in a while. Tweety bird. Bro, we love Tweety bird.

I don't get it. Cause he's like got attitude and he's a little guy, you know? How could you love Tweety Bird when Granny's right there? He's got that fucking swagger, you know? Tweety Bird. Asshole. He or she, whatever the fuck it is, is kind of a prick. It always gets stood up for.

I think Mexicans want to fuck it. It's the Tom and Jerry thing. It's always a bad cat. Cats get a bad rap in cartoons. Well, you know, cats, I read this week that cat owners have a two times more chance of having schizophrenia. Really? Yeah, like that's pretty,

so the crazy cat lady shit is 100% true. Well, there are- Two times. There are definitely- Schizophrenia. Crazy. Amazing. Yeah.

I forget I was talking about. You see Trump on Rogan? No. I tried to watch it, put me to sleep. No, yeah. I would never watch that. It's great though. I would never watch that.

Yeah, it's not. I don't recommend- Joe Rogan, the guy- I would never watch Rogan, so- Joe Rogan, the guy who was like, I would never have Trump on. Like I don't recommend, I would never watch Rogan. Joe Rogan, the guy who was like, I would never have Trump on. Like, I've had the opportunity to have him on, I would never have him on. Winds are changing. The winds and shit are changing. Everybody's like, uh oh, uh oh. And then Trump's talking about getting rid of the fucking income tax.

Like, ahhhh! Are you fucking kidding me? You're gonna get rid of the income tax and put us all on tariffs? I mean, good luck. Yeah, but controls house and yeah. Well, maybe he'll trip. Maybe he'll nuke Gaza and then let us get rid of the, you know, like, all right, you guys can have the whole, actually you can have a whole greater Israel. Okay.

You can get the West bank, Gaza, even part of Egypt, but we're getting rid of the income tax. Yeah. We're placing with tariffs. Okay. That'd be a good deal. All right. I'd make that deal. All right. Getting rid of the income tax, people are melting down.

Yeah, sure. How could you possibly melt down over getting rid of the income tax? I don't wanna pay any income tax. I don't wanna do that. 100 years of debts of slavery gone in an instant. I don't wanna do that. Ah, man.

He's got my hopes up again. One can dream. As he said it on Rogan. Awesome. Sure, why not? That was his response. You just hear it back in. Sure, why not?

That sounds right. Yeah. Really? Sure. You could have done this at any time? Sure, why not? Uh. They love Tweety Bird.

But if I hear one more person talking about how Mexicans need to be here? All right to pick food. Yeah, so it's cheap. Yeah. Are you guys nuts? What do you it doesn't it's gonna be as expensive as they can make it anyway, like yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, right gonna be as expensive as they can make it anyway like it that's the problem. Yeah Okay, let me I probably add some of these things to bring up. Trump at McDonald's, that was funny. Do you see that? Trump pretending to work at McDonald's?

No. He didn't see that? Oh man, you missed it in Japan. That's gonna ruin my day. Trump at McDonald's, that was funny. Trump at McDonald's. And then everybody was melting down, they were like, you know, he wasn't really even working at McDonald's. That's funny. Trump at McDonald's. And then everybody was melting down, they were like, you know, he wasn't really even working at McDonald's.

What do you think he's... Why would he... What do you think we think? What do you mean he's not really working at McDonald's? I mean... You mean he didn't fill out a W-2? Did he not punch in? Yeah, look at this shit. He pretended to work...

He was working at McDonald's for a day. He's doing the fries. He's talking about how the fries never touch a person's hands. Yeah, they're so clean. I mean what? Yeah, yeah, how do they what do you think they're doing? They're grabbing fistfuls of fries. Right? What are you fucking talking about? They're clean. Right, right Amazing. This poor bastard has got the job of teaching him how to use the fry cooker. Yeah, yeah. Um, that was funny shit, man. Dabbing his mouth for the camera to get all the fries off of it. And then McDonald's gets hit with like a CDC investigation the next day.

Oh really? You guys couldn't even wait and a bunch of senators like hit them up for price gouging or something. They just went after them. They went after McDonald's immediately. Yeah, sure. Because Trump's passing out fries at McDonald's. Are you guys like, are you even aware of how evil you are?

Do you ever sit down and think and go, maybe we should maybe we should give McDonald's a pass, you know Let's see The puzzle championships, you know, yeah, did you engage in puzzle championships? I don't think we're gonna be able to do the next one really wins. They've why you wouldn't believe this but they Qualifiers or something? No, they fucking scammed the puzzlers. They scammed the puzzlers. Yeah, they moved the whole thing to Washington, D.C. Oh, no. The murder capital of the world, you know, or wherever it is.

Hmm. Which is stupid. Yeah. And then they paired up with this Comic-Con ripoff thing, Awesome-Con. Yeah. And then you have to buy a ticket to get into that convention for 120 bucks or something, just to do the puzzling. Like, are you kidding me?

You guys couldn't go, you guys couldn't even go three years without ripping everybody off? As soon as anything gains traction. Even a little tiny bit? They'll figure out how to, oh, people want to do this. Now I can charge a bunch of money for it. Yeah, let's like, you know, let's sit around and spin our wheels Gains traction in a little tiny figure out how to oh people want to do this now I can charge a bunch of money for it. Yeah, let's like you know

Let's sit around and spin our wheels and think about how we could how we could extract more extract even the tiniest bit of value From people yes, you want to do something. Yes moderately amusing well. That's yeah, I mean a These people love it. We got them. We got them. We got them. We can make a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, because they love it.

They feel compelled to do this. We got them with a freebie. It's a passion. We did it once, nice. You get people to pay for their passions, a lot of money. Yeah. You got it made.

Yeah. That's illegal. Okay, let me see. Yeah. That's illegal. Okay, let me see. Yeah, right? Florida, this is a good one. The Florida Sheriff's versus marijuana. Yeah. We're getting close to the end, Sean, of election season.

This one has been a lot of fun. Yeah, you've enjoyed yourself thoroughly. I love it. AI child molesting. Yeah. You know, remember last time Trump ran and he did that grab him by the pussy comment and it came out? Yeah, sure. And it was like, oh, man, that's rough.

Yeah. That's a tough one to, you know, Different times. You got to really. Yeah, now it's innocent times. If he raped someone in public, I would go like, aha, awesome. Fuck you. Like, I don't even care if they didn't deserve it. Don't care. I don't think anybody's surprised about anything anymore

He's hit some people some people some Hitler stuff fine people still act like they're surprised, but they really shouldn't be yeah That's all gone like nah. I don't think so Here's uh, here's some some marijuana election stuff. Okay, sure. From our favorite retards. This is Florida sheriffs. I guess they have some kind of legalize it bill. Which DeSantis came out and said it's actually, actually you shouldn't vote for this legalize it bill because it makes, it gives all the money to one company. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. You guys would, you guys hate that, right? Yeah, sure. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys hate that, right? The government. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. DeSantis, you're right. Why am I voting to partially legalize something because another company that's not the government's

gonna take all my money. Cause they're just. You're right, Dips. You're right, fucking Gaylord. Thanks for pointing that out, dude. God, I mean, I guess you guys could- Go to one company that's not us. That's not you.

Yeah. I mean, I get you had could've- Couldn't have one company that's not us. That's not you. Yeah. I mean, you had all this time to just legalize it correctly. Like, oh, it's just legal. I know- Like tea leaves or whatever. And it isn't. On the plane back, I was sitting next to, like actually newlywed couple,

I guess I've been together for a while, but newlywed couple from Mississippi. We had like some good conversations about just like different states and all that kind of stuff. And like, I didn't realize that they just got, they got medical marijuana in Mississippi. Just recently?

Just fairly recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, I wonder like even, cause I mean, it's too much fucking money to leave on the table. He's like, yeah, it was so stupid that they hadn't done. He's like, you know, it's better late. Well, the prisons miss out on their money then.

Yeah, right? I guess. I don't even, honestly, I don't even know. I think they just, I think boomers just hate the smell. I think they just, because it's so pungent. I think some of them, I think some of the boomers and the older generation like actually thinks it's fucking evil too.

Like, especially the older than the boomer, like the World War II. Yeah, I think you're right. They believe everything. I know, I know. If, especially the older than the Boomer. Like the World War II. Yeah, I think you're right. They believe everything. I know, I know. If you've got women, or if there's AI women. Because they saw it in print once.

Like one head, like two heads. Like, oh, I'd like to make some friends. And it's just, Boomer's going like, oh yeah. You know what I mean? They do believe anything. Florida sheriffs. Marijuana, absolutely the least harmful vice you could, it's less harmful than sugar. Yeah, it's

It's there's as far as vices. There's pot and then there's everything else You know what else I realize you sugar in with everything else I also realize anything else because I hate weed I think people that smoke it are just like a night the most annoying people in the world I just never I never as as much as I used to smoke when I was younger, it's so funny, I never loved it. Like there were times where it was really fun, but it was never like, oh man, it would be great to be high right now. I was like, I gotta think, I gotta try. If I had anything important to do, I did not want to be high.

Some people can do that. Some people can wake and bake and they're fine. And yeah, and they're fine. And a lot of people, they're getting crossfaded. Like they're drinking and then they start smoking weed. It's like, you're my problem. You're making me sober. As of how fucking annoying you're being on weed.

Retarded you are. Yeah. And what annoys me about it, what annoys me about all these things is It's like if basketball was illegal I would be going we got this is bullshit basketball is fine We got a legalize and as soon as it's legal say I fucking hate basketball fuck everybody that supports this shit Fuck the WNBA fuck kids because I hate it right like because it's illegal Fuck the WNBA, fuck kids, because I hate it, right? Like, because it's illegal, you don't have the opportunity to just be honest about something that you hate.

You know? I get it. Like, I feel like marijuana exists in this limbo where it's still so illegal that people have to compulsively engage in it and support it because of that which is Making it more ubiquitous like bars are self-contained Yeah alcohol is legal right, but everybody's like it's fucking bad Yeah, you're messing up families. You are an asshole. You got a fucking problem. That's all you hear about alcohol Yeah, it's fucking bad. You got gotta knock it off. You're embarrassing yourself.

You're making my life hell, right? Because it's legal. But marijuana is only partially legal, so all you hear is, it's great, it's fine, it's medicinal, all this shit that is not, like, I don't believe it. It's fucking, I hate it. I hate when people are on it. I hate hearing

fucking stories about it, but that never gets through, cause it's, well, it's gotta be fine. We can't give you fucking boomers even an inch. Make it legal make it legal so that you can hate it So you can hate it. Yeah fine. Oh, it's legal everywhere get this fucking Merrill get it out of here Pack it up go out to California City pack it up there Yeah, right right get the fuck out of town. It fucking stinks. Honestly, I don't know. I mean, maybe just because I'm so like out of that, you know, scene or circle or area or whatever. Yeah.

Like I haven't noticed anything different about California making it just recreationally legal. No, nothing has changed at all. Like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. It's retarded. I don't know. I still don's retarded. I don't know. I still don't see like people like smoking it everywhere.

I mean, like, you know, there's a lot of- Not anymore than they used to. Not anymore than they used to. Bro, I used to, if you were gonna smoke pot, like I've seen plenty of people smoking joints in a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just while they're driving, just kind of keep it down. It's like now, so what, it's a vape or something?

I saw a woman driving with her knees loading a bong. Really? And I was like, well, I mean, she's not more dangerous than just paying attention to driving, so. There you go. Loading a bong. Yeah, she was loading a bong. Seriously? Yeah, on the way to the airport.

Wow. It's like, what the fuck? You think you should fucking have a pipe or something? Why would you have a bong in your car? Seriously? Yes! You're like, such a purist. Such a snob.

Man, I miss my ergo. I've got to have it filtered. The bong I had that was ergonomic. Yeah, the red acrylicist. Such a snob. Man, I miss my ergo. You remember that bong I had that was ergonomic? Yeah, the red acrylic one. Yeah, and the carb was your index finger? Yeah. And you just go, oh yeah, I gotta get that fucking bong back.

I'm so sick of smoking J's. You know where it is? It's gone. It finally decoded into nothing. The seals busted out of it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's Florida Sheriff's Alert. Marijuana is would think so. It finally decoded into nothing. The seals busted out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here's Florida Sheriff's Alert. Marijuana is sending more kids to the ER.

Okay. Okay. Kids. And when they say, yeah. The gay ER? When they say kids, they want you to think like six year olds. Yeah, but it's like, you know, 17 year- Well, I don't even know what it is.

I don't even know if it's true. I mean, it's a... Is often tied to domestic abuse. Really, the sheriffs are going to lecture anybody on domestic abuse. Right. Okay. And is causing increased car collisions. Yeah, sure.

Fatalities? So, in Florida, it's not recreationally legal, right? I guess not. I would think they would have medicinal, right? Let's see, I don't know. I really don't know. Let me look it up. Marijuana, Florida recreational legality.

Okay, legal for medical. They got medical, right. Okay, so everybody's doing it. Yeah, I mean, if... If you want to, I'm sure they got a doctor to give you a, you know, what do they call it, a recommendation or whatever. Okay, let's see what the cops have to say about it. You know, they're always in our... Remember the cops were all upset because people turned on them during Black Lives Matters?

Remember that? And they're like these fuck these But not all the cell phone footage of the cops like killing people and stuff, you know, bro. Did you see that that? Wnba lady attacked the cop and get shot. No, oh a college basketball player. Oh, really funny Thank God. Thank God. The cop was Chinese Yeah, or else we'd be right in the middle of George Floyd to what are you like if you're it? Oh, really? It's so funny. Thank God, thank God the cop was Chinese. Yeah. Or else we'd be right in the middle of George Floyd too. Look, like, what are you, like, if you're,

why are you attacking a cop with a gun? Like you- A knife, she had a knife. Oh, no, I mean, I'm saying the cop has a gun. If you have nothing, why are you attacking the cop? She got that reach from the WNBA. Yeah I guess. I mean they always talk about wingspan with basketball players you know. Yeah. What's their wingspan? That Asian guy was like. Is it greater than their height? You know. She's got limbs.

He's flying in with knives from every which direction. His t-rex arms are trying to reach for his piece. Yeah squeeze a couple off. He's running and shooting like this. Oh really? Yeah. Not me. I would just go, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b He, yeah. Yeah. Okay, we'll watch it next. It's really good. Marijuana, okay. Car collisions, fatalities, and insurance rates. So they're protecting your pocketbook too. Yeah, sure.

Sure. But you remember when all the cops were taking shit from Black Lives Matters, and they're like crying on TV and saying like, we need to respect them. Then they come back and they really demonstrate why they deserve our support. Yeah, the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, okay, here we go. Hello, I'm Sheriff Grady Jack. I'm Sheriff TK Waters. I'm Sheriff Wayne Ivey. There's too many kids going to the ER because of weed gummies and joints laced with fentanyl. Marijuana is dangerous. Dog.

Weed gummies. Yeah. Now here's what I will say about- Because they're freaking out. Because they're dangerous. Dog. Okay. Weed gummies. Yeah. Now here's what I will say about- Because they're freaking out. Because they're tripping out. Right, because they're freaking out. And I don't know if it's gotten better, but the edibles are fucking weird.

They're fucking high, they're like a sledgehammer. Well, it's because they don't, the QC's all over the fucking map on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It may have what they say it has in them, it may have less, It may have way more. So yeah, edibles are not for, that's not where you weighed into the pool.

Well, you could just pound them too, gummies. You're eating like 20 milligrams of peas, dude. You should probably wait a while because they don't hit you right away. Man, my dad can pound like a thousand milligram. That's crazy, yeah. Man, yeah, man. Yeah. Are you like, like, yeah, what did you see in the 70s? What's, what's going on, buddy? You know, I can't do even a close tolerance. But yeah, I mean, but he can't drink for shit. So, there you go. Huh. Got him there. Wow. Okay.

If it gets into the wrong hands. When we make home visits for domestic violence calls, they're often associated with marijuana use. We see more traffic collisions. Really? Really? Really? I'm gonna fucking fight boys-a-J and beat the shit out of my wife. In the house? Yeah.

It's like really? So no problem if the person got high and then decided to beat the shit out of his fucking wife or kids. I just hadn't finished smoking this joint. That's why I flipped out and kicked. Or else I wouldn't have, like, listened to her. Listened to her in the car screaming. Right.

Obviously. Uh, alright. Yeah, I- The fatalities. Because of driving high. And insurance rates going up. Driving high affects more than just you. Educate your families. Protect your kids. Okay.

Uh, educate them with like... more than just you. Educate your families. Protect your kids. Okay. Educate them with like, edibles are fucked, man. Be careful with those. Yeah, yeah. Don't do more than one. Right. Start your kit off with a vape.

That's what I would do. Yeah, here we go. After all, we can smoke dope and wander through the woods. Uh-huh. Don't say, stop saying that. Don't say that. You've never smoked dope in your life.

Do we want? You're not allowed to use that. You have to use the term marijuana. That's our word. You have to use the term marijuana because that's, right, that's as hip as you are to it. You want to smoke dope? Yeah.

What, bro? Right. What decade is it? And if you say cannabis, you have to use sativa. You have to use the proper name. You have to use the chemical. You have to use the scientific name. Yeah.

Yeah. What the hell? Yeah. People to bring their children to Florida. You fucking dweeb. And watch people smoking out next to them on our beautiful beaches. Smoking out. Or at our parks.

That's what we have to decide. Look, I can show you in every state, and let me say it again. This is a Christian camp counselor here. Yeah. Yeah. It's legalized marijuana. Every state. We've seen an increase in crime. Oh!

We've seen it. Every state! Yeah, right. California! You think the crime is increasing because of weed? No. No, I don't. That's what I picture. When I'm loading my- when I decide whether or not to have a loaded gun or an unloaded gun next to my bed at night, I'm picturing a fucking blitzed out weed pile. Dude, I saw-

You know, I think I was gonna just sit here and chill but now that I'm high I'm gonna go Said no one ever I saw these fucking tweakers drive off a drive their car off a cliff no down Yeah, yeah, I was coming back from this thing And you know how this the roads are narrow coming up here. Oh, yeah Oh ish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,, for sure. They're uncomfortably narrow. Well, that's why you can only park on one side. Yeah. Yeah, and if you pass somebody,

you've got to be able to duck into it, which is very hard for most people. Oh, it's impossible for most people. Matter of fact, I routinely do things that I'm not supposed to do because I know that I'm better at it than them and I know it will be faster if I do it. That's intended.

So there's this squatter house where they, they built the scaffolding for this house. Yeah. Down the street, you've probably seen it. Uh. Halfway down the mountain. Okay. Um, the trouble. Is it right on the corner?

Uh, it's like you- I'll take a look. It's like one turn and then it's, it's hard to see because it's just the top of the half built house Oh, okay sticks up got it above the road. So it's it's down. I got it. So it's perfect for bums and squatters You can't see anything. Yeah, you can't see what they're doing in there. You look over them Yeah, and it's like kind of his be a great house. Sure right house. Yeah, it would be yeah They finished it. I don't know what happened during During COVID, it shut down and didn't come back up. So there's always squatters in there.

Everyone fucking hates them. We're all hoping they will die. Right. Right. Right. And every once in a while there's like a fire and we're like, ha ha ha. Yeah. Fuck those idiots.

Right. So there's this car parked in front of the, is there's this car parked in front of the squatter house as I was coming home from a bar. Okay. You know my car is enormous. Yeah. Like a house. It's a truck, yeah. So I, and I'm not, I don't get, I just don't get upset driving around like if I'm delayed for whatever reason, people get retarded, like I don't care. Right. Like you know sit behind a garbage truck, I don't give a shit. I got nowhere to be. So I drive up and their car is positioned such that it blocks traffic completely.

And this would be like totally outrageous. This is whose car? Their car. The guys who drove it off the cliff. They're parked at the front of the squatter house and there's another car so I can't get through. Right. There's a car parked in their side. So I just pull up and sit there in my car, right, waiting to get through.

But I think my car is like necessarily kind of intimidating because it sits up so high so the lights are shining like right in your eyeballs, right? Yeah. So out of nowhere, there's all this scram. I see all this scrambling around, and I'm just sitting there dicking around on Twitter, right, waiting for these fucking clowns. I don't know what they're doing. You got nowhere to be.

OK, nowhere to be. Got it. What do I want to be, home? So I see all this scrambling around in the car, and then it kicks into drive. And instead of just driving with the street up, they just go forward and drove it right off the road. They're a little like Toyota Tercell or whatever it is.

Cause, Krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Right? Yeah. And you just fucked up your car. Well, have fun winching it off of it. It's totally high centered. Yeah, it's just the ugliest sound like, oh, that's too bad for you. But there is now enough room for me to squeeze through. Now your car is a fucking teeter-totter. And there might have been enough room to squeeze through before, but I don't want to risk it. Well, yeah, I mean, you know. Okay. We shouldn't have been doing that. It's funny. Increase in vehicle fatalities. We've seen an increase in vehicle crashes. Yeah. And then you've got this company, as the First Lady said,

that has written in to the Constitution that they can't be sued. They can't be sued for any of the subsequent actions. Yeah. Oh. We can't go... It's just... It's no different than any fucking business going, well can't actually go bankrupt what like what like that's a new thing that they that they governments telling me yeah yeah so then

so then just sue them what do you mean you guys run the courts oh you fucking assholes well then I guess you should have made your own law then huh yeah where everybody can just smoke weed... ...uh... ...freely. Right? And that company can get sued, so just change that. Well, but actually there's car fatalities too.

Well, which one is it? Well, you still, like, that's still, like, driving under the influence is still always gonna be illegal. Yeah, but they can't catch people doing it on weed. I mean, they're not dangerous. Well, I mean, you can catch drunk drivers because they're like, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can, you know, I mean, you can see somebody's acting funny. Yeah, you know, but

yeah, again, you know, I don't think you should be. I don't think you should be driving high. That's that's that's me. But I think I can't think you should be driving high. That's me. No, I don't think so either. But I think that- I can't. I wouldn't. I think that you're more dangerous on booze. Yeah.

Driving around. We're more dangerous on your phone. I think probably- Absolutely. Than anything else. You're definitely dangerous on your phone. But I'm not gonna stop doing that. You know, I mean-

It's like, it's boring driving around. Yeah. Here's a bunch of retards that went shooting, bunch of liberal congressmen and stuff, aren't like senators, let me see this one. So these retards, let me get their names here. Adam Kitzinger, what is it? that sound familiar? Great day at the range. Here's the tweet. Yeah yeah yeah, Adam Kitzinger. And he's the he's a senator, proud Rhino dad, husband, lieutenant colonel in the

gay national bar. Oh, proud Rhino dad. So like in name only. Is that what he's so, is, yeah. Yeah, they're embracing it. Gotcha. It's their N word. Yeah. I'm a proud rhino. Man, oh man. No income tax will be like a nuclear bomb in Washington, DC.

That'll be like insurrection. That will legit be an insurrection. Yeah. What do you mean no income tax? Yeah, you can't fuck with everyone's behavior Yeah, what income tax anymore? We got to do tariffs. What well that? What what how are we gonna how we gonna make people do stuff? Well, you're gonna have to convince them I guess great day at the range today with my friend Adam Kitzinger There's this guy Lucas cunt

Another vet. Oh, I got into a big argument with a guy about veterans this week. Uh Well, it's fat bitch. Oh boy. I'm getting a reputation for defending a fat woman now Because she said that all she hopes all veterans get PTSD Geez, yeah a fat woman saying this. Yeah, You know? Right. I said yeah, that's pretty much the least offensive thing you could say or do to veterans. I hope they get PTSD? I mean, I guess. I'm pretty sure that's protected speech. Oh, well, of course. Of course. You can't ban someone's account for...

You shouldn't even be criticizing them for saying that. You shouldn't even be thinking ban. That should be the last thing you're thinking. You should be saying, like, yeah, I mean, the military spends billions of dollars making guys think it's like, the military makes their penis bigger So kind of the only thing to counteract that is mocking There's trauma that you only way to highlight trauma is to mock it like highlighting. It doesn't work highlighting It is a memoriam honestly highlighting it highlighting trauma without mocking

It is a glorification of the trauma So if you bring out a if you bring out a military guy that got all his arms and legs blown off and you don't make fun of it, you're promoting that. Keep going. I know what I'm talking about. You bring him out and say, look at this guy. He went to war, got all his arms and legs busted up. A big fat fucked his wife, and then you don't offer any commentary on that? People's natural inclination is to glorify that, like, oh, he must have done, he must have been doing something great

to get all of his arms and legs chopped off, right? Well, that's kind of why you need those guys to do it on their own, because- To mock it? Well, no, the guys who do it on their own go, this wasn't worth it. They bury that shit though. They killed Pat Tillman for saying that.

We had no business being involved in that. I want my arms back. I want my fucking arms back. I thought this, like I thought that, I thought this, they made me think this. They made me think that. Exactly. It's all bullshit.

It's all young men. It's all young men getting conned and fucked with it's I would you know is amazing One it's amazing when you listen to these guys who saw and did shit come back and talk Yeah, opposite they are with from where they it's like people loved I think people want to play war, you know, like and then they go like oh this is I have to run over kids with a bulldozer This is way different for what? different yeah Well, that was my point yeah, yeah sure like well yeah, they got PTSD cuz you know

Shouldn't be doing that cuz it's yes. It's heinous fucking shit. Yeah, it's you should feel bad Yeah, I mean that's like a it's like a real extreme feel bad. Were people banned? Was she banned? Yeah, she got banned. Everybody. So I was saying that's bullshit. On what platform? On Twitch? Yeah. So I said that's bullshit. And then now everybody's watching me. No, shouldn't be banned for any of that. Now everyone's watching me melt down on the biggest problem about it. And they're like, oh, he's defending a fat woman. I'm like, ah.

You can't win. I can't win. I can't win with anybody. You can't win. All these fucking liberals are like, oh, Dick's defending a fat woman? I'm not sure how to feel about him. Well, Vito said, well, if she's talking, she's not eating. I said, that's true. That's true. Banned.

Uh... That's funny. I hope veterans get PTSD. Oh! I can't believe she said that. What? Really? Yeah, it's... I hope... you know they're trying to kill those guys right is she reacting to like Veterans talking like badass like fuck yeah like I love you know who have probably never been in anything You know cuz like what most people who like like veteran doesn't mean you saw combat right? I mean oh Yeah, I mean, that's what we think, but like, you know,

like, because most people never do. Yeah. And they still get PTSD. I think it's cause they have to stop being gay when they get home from the military. They have to stop playing like penis grabbing games and stuff and they start, they trip out. Cause it's like traumatic.

Cause you're going to get banned on Twitch. I'll get banned on Rumble. You better get fat so someone defends you. No one's defending her. Like guys, you're supposed to, I mean, the constitution says that you're allowed to kill, say you're gonna kill them. Look, yeah. That's what the first two amendments are.

I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna have a gun and I'm gonna threaten to kill you with it. what the first two amendments are. I'm gonna, oh I'm gonna have a gun and I'm gonna threaten to kill you with it. You the government. You know, the way that I look at things now is just like the only, the victims of words are a civility and decorum, you know? I just go, oh that's kind of in poor taste, but I don't think ban. Oh yeah, yeah. It's... That's another white people short circuit.

Oh, they just don't care? Oh, that's against civility. And they're like, see that white guy said it's against civility, so we gotta put you in prison. And he's in charge. Yeah, and he's in charge. So we gotta get this white guy in here. And the white guy's like, oh, well I didn't mean, you know.

I'm just saying it's, I wouldn't say it. Telling you, go somewhere where there's no white people take get me and a couple buddies. That's all That's all it's gonna take We were I mean I won't even try They'll just be like yeah you get up there. I know I'd be like it's true. Yeah, but I don't want to like yeah But you're but you're white and taller than us. Yeah, you'd way taller You got some kind of understanding of stuff that we're messing out. I don't want to like yeah, but you're but you're white and taller than us. Yeah, you're way taller You got some kind of understanding of stuff that we're messing out. I don't know Okay, this is great day at the range today. Yeah

This guy's running for something. I think great day at the range today my With my friend Adam Kitzinger. We got to hang out with some union workers while exercising our freedom So they're trying to prove that they're like, they love guns too. Sure. Kamala's like, I carry a Glock. Right, right, right. Well, this guy, is this guy, is he a Republican? I don't know.

It's hard to say. The one guy looks like... It's hard to say. Or the one says like, I'm a Republican in name only. Like, but I don't agree with him. Yeah, okay. And this guy, who knows? Always have your first aid kit handy. in name only, but I don't agree with him. Yeah, okay, and this guy, who knows?

Always have your first aid kit handy. Shrapnel can always fly when you hit a target like today. No, you shouldn't be saying that when you're at the range. And you've gotta be ready to go. We had four first aid kits, so we were able to take care of the situation. I'm glad Ryan is okay and he's able to continue reporting. Somebody call him some shrapnel?

These queermos brought a reporter out to their range day to like prove how macho they are. Go stand by the target. Look at this shit. So they got a... I think this is Kitzinger. He's a fucking jackass. Okay. He's got a scope the size of a Hubble telescope here. Shooting at steel plate targets that are... Very close.

That are seven yards away, what do you think? Very close. A little girl could throw a rock and hit these. I don't think most pistol ranges are that close. No, they're like 25 feet. They're long. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well, this is probably 21 or less. This is extreme. This is way too close to be shooting at steel targets. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah. And he's got his eye protection on the top of his head. Oh, you can see here.

Demonstrating the first rule of guns. Yeah. Safety, which is have a good time, obviously. Uh, you've got, uh, there's there's, okay, let's see. Let's go to the next one. Uh, yeah, here's all these clowns. Okay, and then, um, so they just set this up in like a park. There's a picnic table. Here's the journalists getting shot. Uh-huh. This doughy journalist getting shot at range day.

Maybe you guys just shouldn't be playing with guns. I mean, you know. You know? Still got his eye protection on his head over here. Shrapnel, huh with guns. I mean, you know. You know? Still got his eye protection on his head over here. I think that's probably too close. Those targets were close. Do you think this is, should be worried about if you get hit on your bicep, on your arm,

that's like six inches away from your heart? Do you think that's an issue? You think you may be fucked up a little bit more than posting pictures and talking about first aid kits? Maybe. You maybe fucked it up. There's some Tannerite there down range. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess that's why... Dough. That's why we can't have guns. No, because people, you know, just because retards. Dumb shit. Just, we wanted to shoot our guns.

We messed everything up. Yeah. Dough. Okay. Borat is back. Oh, up. Yeah. Okay. Borat is back. Oh yeah. I don't know. It doesn't have the same punch to it anymore. No, it had its time.

Yeah. Now everybody is in on it. Can a guy from Kazakhstan come out with a Yamaha and do a whole routine for you? Like Sasha? I don't know. Baron Cohen? Maybe.

Is that allowed on TV? Can he go on late night and you know, talk about eating foreskins and stuff? Oh boy. Is that, is that allowed? I was told that was calamari. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Oh, they painted over the Elliott Smith mural. They did? Yeah, let's see here. Remember this one? Of course. It's the cover of- Right. Oh, yeah, well they- This giant one.

Well, I remember they, you know, cause he, the cover of a figure eight was shot in front of there. And then for a while, they updated it with just his little image in there. But it was still the same painting. And then somebody would tag it and people would fix it. And they would tag it and people would fix it.

I haven't been over there. So like that's the- The Silver Sun. Well, but that Silver Sun was Silver Sun liquor store. Is that a different mural? Because the one- Yeah, then the figure eight one. Yeah, it's different.

Okay, okay. Right, right, right. I think the figure eight one's, the figure eight one's still tagged up,. Okay, okay, right right right I think the figure eight ones the figure eight one still tagged up But they were this one was because the silver because that's further down sunset toward Echo Park the Silver Sun Yeah Liquor store they replaced that with this beautiful mural right yeah music stuff culture. They replaced it with this Really? That's the same. That's the way. That's the same building Yeah They replaced it with this. Really? That's the same building? Yes. Yeah.

Uh... Some liquor. But what's that sign say? This one? I don't know. Galvanized or something. Well the phone booth's not all the way over. I just don't know if that's... You don't think it's the same building? I don't know. It looks different.

It looks like it could be the side. Look at the three lights okay see yeah there are three lights there are three lights and then there they are here son of a bitch it's the same building yeah maybe so they replaced it with silver lake is queer joy written by a retarded person or a little it's a little weird I wouldn't let whoever drew this around kids it's got some triangles down. I wouldn't let whoever drew this around kids. You got some triangles down here. I don't know what that's, I don't know if that's queer or the joy. You painted over the Elliot Smith music mural,

like the beautiful thing with this monstrous, garish trash? The guy I used to rent a house from in Echo Park was a local artist. He's like- You do stuff like this, like magenta, queer joy. But like somehow- Gay queer. He would- Silver gay is queer leg.

He would, like housemate knew him like really well. And he, down at the end, there's a, I don't know if it's still there, but it's at Sunset and Echo Park Avenue. I lived like the very top of Echo Park Ave. And so down there, there's a, I don't even know what the building is, but this entire side of the building is just like

a Hispanic, like kind of like a, like old LA kind of culture. Not like the, you know, like a, you know, like a, like a Cholo move, like nobody's wearing Dickies and like, you know what I mean? But it's just like, like the people who came. Women in white dresses.

But like it's obviously him and his wife who are in it. Yeah. Like, and my buddy called him on that. He's like, it's like Ricardo. He's like, that's obvious. He's like, but that's not me. He's like, that's not me, it's obviously him and his wife. It's so funny.

And representing the Mexican community. Every time I've been in it, cause people are part, but it's so fucking stupid. Why would you not? Yeah. We have to. It's like, what, that's not me. Like, that's not me at all.

It's just like, obviously him. Just to crack me up. Every time I've seen it since, I just laugh. Yeah. Well, I guess this is their, I guess maybe they're the smiley face in Queer Joy. Oh. It just doesn't scream joy to me.

Could you mix up all the words, queer, joy, like just jumble them all together. Is that what we're doing now? You get, I don't know. Queer joy, that's the first time I've heard of it. Just a bunch of queers like screaming their heads off cause they're so happy with joy. I don't know.

Wow, all right. I don't know. That's cool. You're gonna have to ask an expert. I'm trying to start a CLGBT. Yeah. Cis, lesbian, gay. To kind of take it over from the front.

What do you think about that? From the front. Yeah. Yeah. Straight from the front. Part of the CLGBT community. That's what we're doing now. Okay, there's something about doctors, illegals, Brianna Woods. Blah, blah, let me see. There's something about doctors, illegals, Brianna Wu. Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. Oh yeah, this is pretty funny. Brianna Wu. Okay. Uh, says she's this trans lady. Oh. Who's big into video games. Oh, she is. Okay, well then she doesn't have to play sports. No. Right? She can.

Let's see. Brianna Wu. She was picking on Nick Riketa too. Trans woman? Yeah. Yeah, what's, I mean, so is Nick going to trial? I mean, I haven't kept up on stuff, but. Yeah, it seems like it. Is it the, yeah.

Are we at the end? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's really taken a lot of the fun out of drugs. Nick almost, Nick may be going to prison for it. I still highly doubt that, but I'm sure if he's guilty, he'll definitely get some probation and fines. A couple of slaps on the wrist.

Maybe some testing or whatever they can do. Yeah, maybe Riley's Court date is the 14th of November. I think oh really where he goes in to see if he has to go to jail for Putting up criminal criminal harassment of Eric July How do you I mean talk about losing like any street cred you ever have? I mean just really like his audience doesn't ever had. I mean, really? His audience doesn't even care. Well, whatever.

He hasn't been, you guys are, I guess, there's no feuding going back and forth with- No, I started it up again because- You did. Yeah, cause he's got his Rip-A-Send thing. Rip-A-Send. So he still has, like, he's still fully involved in the Rip-A-Verse and all that kind of stuff.

I mean. Yeah, they put out like shitty comics that other people made. Like guys who get kicked out of. He'll never put out another one, right? That he wrote. He's gotta do ISOM 3. Oh, I mean, I'm sure he's supposed to.

Of ISOM. Yeah. Boy. Well, he's supposed to, yeah. I'll bet this hasn't gone like he thought it would go. Ha. He put out the... Well, also, I think the kind of enthusiasm for like,

shitheads making comics is really worn off. Well, yeah. Like, Vito's comics two years late. Well, everybody's, I'm sure, super cynical about it. Because I'm sure a lot of these like comics are probably garbage, by and large. And comics in general just aren't worth that much. People's passion for the really good ones, I think, clouds their judgment in like,

yeah, this guy gets it, because it's like, yeah, this is how I'm gonna do a comic, this is how I'm gonna do art, I'm not gonna do this sellout shit, and it's like, yeah, this is how I'm gonna do a comic. This is how I'm gonna do art. I'm not gonna do this sellout shit. And it's like, wow. Is it good? No. Yeah, well, and is it great?

Oh no, is it good? Even the people doing it probably think it will be great. And then it gets at, man, it's hard to do this stuff. Yeah, it's hard to do it. Oh yeah, she said, Brianna Wu said, let me see if I get this quote. Uh, I don't want to play in women's sports, she says. She's speaking on behalf of trans women. Trans women, okay.

I don't want to play in women's sports. I want to go have lunchtime mimosas with the girls. Okay. And laugh and lose track of time. Uh-huh. with the girls and laugh and lose track of time. 99.9% of trans women are the same. So, oh, she's saying you just want to become a woman so you can dominate at sports?

Like that's her answer to that? Well, she's kind of like, she's real slippery. When what she's saying is, I just don't want any responsibility anymore. I don't want to have to answer for these people, you know? I transitioned so I wouldn't have to answer for people. Yeah. And now I gotta answer for these people again?

Fuck. We don't wanna play sports. We just wanna have lunchtime mimosas with the girls and laugh and lose track of time. And I'm like, and laugh and lose track of time. Yeah. And I'm like, uh, like what do you, is that what you're identifying as?

Are you identifying as like a Valtrex commercial? Oh. Like I wanna, okay, you're a woman, yeah? Like what is that to you? It's about having mimosas and laughing with the girls until I lose track of the whole- Not sports. Not sports, right?

Like, uh. So it's just about like day drinking? Guys can do that. Yeah. Not with the girls, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? What girls are you talking about? I just found it to be like impressively misogynistic.

Hmm. The statement on its own Transwomen don't want to be we don't want to play in sports We just want to have mimosas and get shit face laugh with the girls. We just don't want to be dits Is like we just don't want to exactly yeah, yeah, we're too. I'm too stupid right. I'm a trans girl I don't like sports. I like like being dumb. I want to be a guy. Yeah, I'm a ditzy whore That's what I mean. I don't want any responsibility. I don't want to have to, yeah. I don't want to have to do, I just want to be-

I want to drink mimosas all day. Oh, it's going straight to my thighs. I want to be a 22 year old girl the rest of my life. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not very, you know. Progressive at all. No, no, it doesn't speak very well of- I want to get a lobotomy.

I love being a girl. Of what she thinks a girl is. What do you think a girl is? You're getting mimosas and laughing with your friends? Yeah, but was this what was this? Is that what you think women are? Was this just an unsolicited tweet or was it like in response to somebody going like, you just want to fucking dominate at sports. Trans people are fucking getting their ass, they're getting killed because of the the sports shit Like they fucked up as I said a long time ago you guys fucked up big time with the sports stuff I know I know cuz they try to walk it back, but it's not happening It's the only problem I have with any of it. Yeah, it's a big fucking problem. It's not fair Yeah, that was pretty funny 99% of trans women are the same yeah

So 99.9% of women are the same well that's okay, right and they like having my Moses All right, they like just eat hot chip and lie Pig shit me getting caught sleeping about that caught me sleeping Shit fuckers. I hope no one fucks our pig shit like oh my god. Okay, Jesus Christ Um, I don't know if women I don't know how many I know women I mean not as much as you know you a woman. I don't think they're gonna appreciate that well People usually don't appreciate being painted into a group. Like it's like, oh, you mean like 99,

so like everyone is this way? We just love having nemosis and being fucking whores and dilating our pussies and brunch. That's what we love. We don't play sports. That's too much math and thinking. Jesus Christ. God. Fucking weirdo. Yeah, I mean, that's too much math and thinking. Jesus Christ. God.

Fucking weirdo. Yeah, I mean, that probably can't go over that well with women in general. If they cared, you know. I don't know. Too busy drinking mimosas, I guess. I guess. I guess.

Too drunk to take offense, I don't know. Are you trans women? Yeah. So what about the identity? Having mimosas and being with the girls and sex in the city and my pussy. Okay. Wow.

Okay. WNBA lockout. Oh, Dungeons and Dragons sensitivity forms. Okay. Oh boy. Forms? Forms. Forms. Yeah, let's see Oh, Dungeons and Dragons sensitivity forms. Oh boy. Forms? Forms. Forms. Yeah, let's see here.

Dungeons and Dragons. Then I'll read some comments. Oh my God, it's already two? Hang on, I wanna do a guitar talk. Right now? No, after this. Okay, after the... Dungeons and Dragons, something with the woke,

brand new Dungeon Master's Guide. There's an entire section where the person running the game something with the woke brand new Dungeon Master's Guide. There's an entire section where the person running the game is encouraged to have players fill out sensitivity forms about what might trigger them. And an emergency X gesture where any player can stop the game. Safe word for, because, no, I've never played D&D.

For Prank Pretend. I've never, actually, you know what? I shouldn't even say D&D, because I'm not hip enough to, I have never played Dungeons and Dragons. It's like that fucking, that asshole cannot say pot, you know, or smoke out, or whatever he embarrassingly said.

Like, because I can't say D&D because that's- Okay, here, we'll play right now. Like, you're in a guitar store. Interestingly said yeah like because I can't say D&D because that's okay here We'll play right now like you're in a guitar store But is is the the dungeon master kind of makes up things that happen right? Yeah Is it based on any kind of rules or generalities or there's rules? But I mean you can like buy a storybook Essentially that has got you know absent shit in it And then you want you read some of the stuff.

But then like isn't it like so and so, okay I choose to attack this fucking guy and it's just like that guy smokes your ass and sodomizes you behind the woodshed, right? It would be like, you have to say the n-word or else a magical bomb is gonna go off. That's what's crazy about the game to me that like you just kind of like make it up, right? Just make it up. That's wild. Go about the game to me that like you just kind of like make it up make it up I know I'll goofing around that's why basically I didn't goof around as a child I guess I wasn't allowed to go for right there was no goofing around in my house We should play I mean if you veto is always wanting to play is it's lazy. Okay, well

Yeah, we shouldn't play them. Yeah So now you look at they they got this archetype, which is the, I don't know, this guy I've seen before, this hairdo in the beard and stuff. So this is the symbol that you make. Right. You make it tough like this. Well, that's the thing, he's got tats,

so he's not too much of a pussy, you know? This is the best they got. He actually sat through tattoo sessions, so he's not too much of a pussy. You know? This is the best they got. He actually sat through tattoo sessions. So, you know. And they don't really mean anything to tattoos. He doesn't cry at just anything, Dick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha out of a spaghetti jar. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess the D&D was- He's got fucking fingers like a tree frog. Look at the fucking size of those fucking things.

Like I can- That's the symbol? He's like a gecko, he could walk up glass. So if you're a guy, if your friend's like, well, you wake up and you're getting raped by all these goblins. Yeah. Right? And you can't do anything else. It's anti-Semitic.

It does not. You're like, oh, stop, stop, like that. Wow. Yes, wow. Thank God. So this is like, so you don't have to even use your words, as they say. Yeah.

You can just like, yeah. You just. And you don't have to get up and leave. Right. Like that's what you would do if you were in a situation that was like making you freak out. It's too offensive, yeah. I can't even imagine what that would be.

Yeah. Huh. Okay. So now it's D&D. An emergency X gesture where players can stop a game they feel uncomfortable. Stop a game or can they just get out? Like, I mean, you shouldn't be able to stop a game, right?

Well, I guess you can go to the bathroom, you know? Yeah, I mean, like... But you're still getting raped in your imagination. Like, the Joker, too. I wish I could have busted that symbol out. You shouldn't be able to stop a whole game if everybody else is cool with it, right? I don't know. I don't know who this is for. I don't know how it works. No you do. Just people sitting around. Okay. You know goofing around. Yeah you got it. Well but I mean but like

there's one thing like if the game's over or like you're just part of it is over. Yeah. Like to if you can actually end a game that doesn't seem fair to me. Well you'd have to have like a big meltdown. Like if that happened, then the game would end. Okay. You know, you like have a, you start crying and freaking out, calling everybody names. Like names that they're not. Like you're just like my dad or you accidentally,

you know, you've let one slip like that. Core tools for players. Oh, potentially sensitive elements. You got to write down... Fat women. I don't want to hear any stories about women eating or being fat. Every male character you talk about has to have a smaller penis than me. Okay. Those are the demands you're making?

Yeah. Examples, potentially sensitive elements, examples. Spiders, snakes, demons, romance, romance? Oh, wait a minute. I think I might be wrong on this. Mind control. So you don't want any romance in your? Mind control?

Mind control. That seems like, huh, okay. These are, you know. You got your mind controlled. Obviously examples. Usually, did you ever notice like the examples that they give are always really bad? They're gaslighting.

Well, but in this case, it's so that, because they know that nobody would be offended enough to do the gesture in this. It's like, they wouldn't put what real examples could be. Rape. Just put a rape down. Yeah. Yeah.

Or I don't know what else. Is there something else that we've invented that's also bad? You know, I mean, yeah, none of these are things that people would stop a game for. You want me to write down child molesting on my list? You want me to, on my character sheet that I get to look at all the time? You want me to write down my triggers so I can constantly think about them? Right.

That's the plan? Great fucking plan, Bart. You think I'm kidding? I'm not kidding. Okay. Giving due credit. Uh, also, uh, the safety tools. Safety tools. Also, Echo the X card. Okay.

A tool developed by John... Stavropoulos. Stavropoulos in 2013. The X card is a physical piece of paper that players can tap if they want to edit or remove an upsetting bit of content. Oh my god. Now you guys really are losers. So now you have to physically make the X. Yeah, we don't just have a card. Right, because what if you don't have the card? Some communities can afford a card. Can't you always have the card?

Can't just go to Kinko's and make a card. Yeah, yeah. Again, I don't know how it works. card yeah yeah again I don't know how it works wow a consent a checklist and this looks like a generic it's RPG means like role-playing game right yeah harm to children there it is and rats bugs blood demons eyeballs they got a harm to animals harm to children rats slide in the actual one with eyeballs. Right, right, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Romance. Oh my god. It's a romance is a trigger.

Get this romance out of shit. I'm done with it. Right. Okay. Let's see. CNN wrote a piece on an IDF soldier who killed himself. Turns out he's running over kids of the bulldozer. Yeah.

I look look they know they try to hide it too though I looked at I looked into this one yeah I see it yeah cuz I you know cuz he's doing horrible shit yeah this IDF soldier killed himself oh why cuz what couldn't live with what he was doing. Well, they found an honest man, huh? Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, it's all a big machine to kill honest men, right? All right, he got out of Gaza, but Gaza did not get out of him.

Yeah. Are you serious? That's the joke you're leading with? That's, yeah. You know, again... It's just... You can take the Yankee fan out of the gay bar, but you can't take the gay bar.

Right? Everything is just so crass. It's like a joke. It's so crass. Hahaha! What? He got out of Gaza? Gaza did not get out of him?

That's a quote from somebody, but... Well, that person is also an asshole. Yeah, I mean, you know, just people coming back from that war. It's people coming back from war. Yeah, 40-year-old father of four deployed to Gaza after the deadly attack. He returned a different person, traumatized by what he had witnessed in the war against Hamas. Oh, is that who they're fighting? Six months after he was first sent to fight, he was struggling with PTSD

Back at home, and then he was set to redeploy and he killed himself. Yeah Jesus Oh! What could have been the issue? Well, what could have been the issue then? Yeah, huh? Yeah, maybe it was it was probably not enough mental health awareness Well, I bet that was the problem. It was I bet that's the problem It's the impact on your mental health from what you have to do in war

We gotta have more therapy. We gotta have more women talking to these guys Well, you know so they can really talk their way around it and go back to war Well, I think can I not go back to war? No, okay. I'll kill myself then. I mean if you If you have to if you have to go back to war well I can I not go back to war I know okay I'll kill myself then if you if you have to if you have to go back to war I could see that would be a I would you know I would I would I would guess I would guess is there a you know I don't know take of this piece are you get take possibly be are you unfit for military service you know killed that him! You killed that guy! You killed that guy by sending him back!

You did it! Yeah, I mean... And you know what? He may never be the same, but then that was the straw. He's dead. I mean, it's like, I'm all fucked up, and you're telling me I have to go back and do this? No, I don't want to. Well, it's, uh, you know, it's terrorism.

And I don't know what every country's policy on, I don't want to well It's you know, it's terrorism and I don't know what what every country gotta go back I don't know what every country's policy on that kind of stuff It's not the obvious identical policy go get out there and do it or else or we'll kill you get up and get in the game Yeah, exactly He got out of Gaza, but Gaza did not get out of him Yeah, and then he died after it because of the because of the post-trauma Yeah, said the mother man I gotta give my mom a list of talking points to say to the news when I get killed for trying to blow up

A federal building like don't say do not say that I you know Here only read these points. You did it you guys did it you killed him The Israeli military said it had been providing care for thousands of soldiers who are suffering from PTSD. Yeah. Or mental illness. Why are they suffering from that? I thought they were fighting terrorists.

I mean, I wouldn't think that. This should be like going to fight the Nazis, right? Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad at all killing terrorists. We know we're the good guys. Bad guy, bad guy, bad guy, bad, bad, bad, bad, done. Awesome, I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'll take my blowjobs, please

Where's my parade? Take my parade and blow you know what mimosas for everyone. Why they have to go this PCSD. Isn't that odd? It's unclear how many have taken their own lives well The IDF didn't give an official figure Well, the IDF didn't give an official figure. Let's see, let me get to the bulldozer stuff. And it's not gonna- You gotta search for it.

It doesn't say he killed himself because he didn't wanna go do more bulldozer stuff. Yeah, the mental health toll, there it is. He deployed to Gaza on October 8th last year, ooh, right away, and was tasked with driving a D9 Bulldozer, a 62-ton armored vehicle that can withstand bullets and explosives.

He was a civilian for most of his life, working as a manager at an Israeli construction company. Wow, now that's gotta be tough work. He's 40? He's 40, like, did he... He's fucking our age? Do you imagine getting put into a bulldozer to drive over kids and stuff? No. Whew. I don't think I would do it. What did he... I would like fake that I hurt my arm. He's a reservist. Oh I can't drive the bulldozer because I bet I messed up my elbows falling out of a chair. Right.

After witnessing the massacres committed by Hamas, he felt the need to fight. Oh, I see what happened. He was an idiot. This is like full metal jacket shit. Yeah, yeah. They needed an Israeli version of that. Yeah. He spent 180 days in an enclave until he sustained injuries to his knee, followed by hearing damage in February when a rocket-propelled grenade hit his vehicle. His treatment did not help. Let's see here. He suffered from anger, sweating, insomnia, and social withdraw. Yeah. Those are, what is that?

Those are symptoms of something? Yeah. Anger, sweating, insomnia, when you're social withdraw, that's called being 40. What are you talking about? If those are not normal things. What do you mean? If those are not normal things for you.

You mean you know a guy who's not angry, sweating, has insomnia, and has social withdraw? He has a woman, buddy. That's who you're talking to. He told his family that only those who were in Gaza with him could understand what he was going through. Yep. Yep.

Yep. He always said, no one will understand what I saw. You don't want to tell your sister that you were running over kids with a bulldozer, right? Was he really running over kids with a bulldozer? Did you find this like, like this? Yeah, and it's this is what I I've listened to a lot of That's what they're doing over there. The kids are slow. And they get scared and they lay and stuff and cower. They don't know what to do. They freeze. Yeah, yeah

And their parents are probably dead, right? Their parents just got blown up. Yeah They freeze. Yeah, and their parents are probably dead. Right? Just got blown up. Yeah Yeah, that's uh, he saw a lot of people die. Maybe he even killed someone. Yeah. Oh, maybe yeah You weren't saying this shit was he was alive wasn't even intimating that he did something wrong while he was alive Did he did you maybe I don't know but I've listened to a lot of We don't teach our children to do things like this. Oh, the call was coming from inside the house. Right. But it's they they say that same like unless you were there you you don't understand like that's they and like I believe that You know like it's yeah, because these people are fucking dumb, but it's like they think like oh you went over there and killed the bad guys, right? Like no. Yeah, right. What do you mean? Oh, no, We're the bad guys. Turns out things are way more complex than that.

It's just a bunch of fucking people. Yeah, people that, you know, that like have kids. They all had reasons. And they have their hopes and they have, yeah, their wants. They didn't like it. And all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so... It's basically all the people who were evil enough

to not kill themselves survived and did what, and caused what's happening right now. It's weird that... That's pretty much human history. It's like people, people and caused what's happening right now. It's where that pretty much human history It's like people people have to do certain things sometimes to get the wake-up call that a lot of people would be like Just from and that's again. That's a maturity thing. Yeah, it's it's 18 versus 35 Going like Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah Right. I totally are 40 you're thinking you need to go fight a war?

Man, you got fucked up. He get pressed into, cause I mean, you're not still normally in the military in Israel at that age. I mean, everybody has to serve a certain amount of time. I don't know, but he was a reservist, they said. So like he still was like on call. Right, aren't they?

I mean, I think that- I don't know. I don't know. But it's like, still was like on call. Right, aren't they? I mean, I think that I don't know. I don't know. But it's like, was he like, you know, cause there were plenty of people who signed up after 9-11 who were like, I feel like I have to do it duty to my country. Yeah, idiots.

I never enlisted when I was that age, but now I'm- You gotta grow out of that shit, man. Yeah, yeah. You gotta grow. Yeah, yeah, it's part of- If you're in your 20s thinking you got to owe somebody something yes you are fucking up yeah yeah you need a better father figure in your life yeah you need to this thing happened I feel like I should go sacrifice something for you are giving way too much yeah um guys Zach and the guy's friend and co-driver of the bulldozer. Oh boy

The co-driver oh man, so whether co-driver It's like one operated one track and one is like I got it. Come on. No, I've got to get this one Yeah, when neither of us drove over the kid I was working the right when you were working the left if any kids were getting getting smushed by the bulldozer, that was not either of our fault. Right. They got a kosher light switch. God was my co-pilot. Uh, he provided further insight into the experience in Gaza.

We saw very, very, very difficult things, Zachan told CNN. Things that are difficult to accept. just say what you fucking saw, bro Don't gild the lily this much well, he doesn't see he does you Responsible for this continuing cycle of death. He doesn't want to say it This is why it's important to mock their their trauma and their pain to prevent other young men Who's prime men men's primary mode of communication is mockery. Primarily we get information through mockery and then infographics. Guys do ball bust in a way that women don't.

They don't even understand it. They start crying immediately because of all the information that they're receiving. I can't cope with this much information. So if you're not communicating, if you're not making, mocking something, you're not communicating to young men. That's why we have to mock the suffering and the pain of all veterans ever. The former soldier has spoken publicly about the psychological trauma endured by Israel troops in Gaza. And his testimony to Parliament, yeah. Every, oh yeah, okay. Zachan said that on many occasions soldiers had to run over terrorists, dead and alive.

In the hundreds. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, you got a hundred? You got hundreds of live terrorists? Hundreds. Rounded up? Both dead and alive.

Were they running? Well, that's what we're, were they wounded? Like, were they, you know? Everything squirts out Well bullets are expensive You got the bulldozer, you know You know, I'm what you know, this begs a lot of questions Like were they is it does it like are we well, I mean are we are are we not taking prisoners of war?

You have any pianos to drop on them. You know I mean like you had to run over him with a bulldozer That's the you know are we are we? We're not should have been the headline Sean everything squirts out. It's the same level of crassness as the yeah He says he can no longer eat meat as it reminds him of the gruesome scenes he witnessed of his bulldozer in Gaza oh wow you were 40 and you went into a fucking concentration camp with a bulldozer and you thought what what did you think was gonna happen, shithead? That's, again, some people have to experience it. They can't imagine that it's that much different

than they think it is. I was running over terrorists, dead and alive. Were they all terrorists? They don't know that- I don't know, actually. Some people don't know that once you're- How old are they? You checked their IDs? Was there anyone, you know, 17?

17 and 354 days? I think a lot of people think that once they're in, they won't necessarily be asked to do things that like they haven't thought of. Yeah, like where it's like, it's gonna be neat and clean and we know who the bad guys are and we know we're the good guys.

And then it's like, you get in a situation where it's like, oh, fuck man, we couldn't tell who was the bad guys guys and then it's like you get in a situation where it's like oh fuck man we we had to we couldn't tell who was who was the bad guys and who were civilians I think that was a kid that I just squished in the bulldozer you can't think of everything I don't think this is good and struggles asleep because of the explosions in his head. Yeah. When you see a lot of meat outside and blood, both ours and theirs, Hamas, they put Hamas

in quotes, they added Hamas to that. Right. And theirs, Hamas. Yeah. Right. What? Yeah. Are you sure?

Did you swab it and test it for Hamas? Then it really affects you when you eat. He told CNN referring to the bodies as meat. He maintains that the vast majority of those he encountered were terrorists. Oh, that's fine then. As long as it's a majority. That's a vast majority.

Oh, okay. Only about 10 or 20% were innocent people. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. The civilians we saw, we stopped them and brought them water and we let them eat our food. Yeah.

He recalled, adding that even in such situations, Hamas fighters would shoot at them. Well, you know, you're running over kids with a bulldozer. It's probably, so there's no such thing as citizens, he said. Right. Referring to the stability of Hamas fighters to blend with civilians. Sure. So there's no such thing as citizens?

Right. Because they are posing as citizens? Well, and that's what he has to kind of tell him. It's like a little fleck that turns into a big pearl of PTSD. You know, these insane lies that they train them to swallow. Yeah. I had to shoot the citizens because we just couldn't tell. We were in imminent danger and we don't know who was who. Yeah. What am I going to do? Just go home?

Well, yeah, well, you fucking court-martialed. I'm sure Israel doesn't take kindly to people kind of just deserting or abandoning, right? No, you don't think so? I wouldn't think so. Clearing dead pee, okay, well there you go. That's a little amusing anecdote. Bad time. Definitely a bad time. I would just say no.

Yeah. If somebody asked me to be bulldozing. 40, that's interesting. Even if they were bad guys, I'd be like, ah, I don't want to. It sounds like, yeah, I mean, it sounds like that that was like a volunteer. I can't believe that they don't have enough

of a standing army of young people to where they would need 40 year olds to like, where they would press them into service. I mean, it's not that big of a country and they're fighting everybody now. Yeah, I know it's not that big, but. And there's just so much pressure.

There's so many fucking assholes over here and over there pushing towards, you know, warm. Jesus Christ. Okay, gentlemen's sausage. Can I do a guitar talk after this? Yeah, yeah, here, here. Give me that, all right. Go for it, go for it, finally.

["It's Shawn's Guitar Talk"] Thank you for that. Who was that? Was that? Reverend Scott. Reverend Scott? Yeah. He always delivers, doesn't he? All right.

This is going to be an obvious one that a lot of people probably know if you're into movies and guitars. And yeah, there are two movies that really made me want to play electric guitar. I just gotten kind of interested in it, but one was 1987 was La Bamba. Okay. I was 10. I was 1987 was La Bamba.

I was nine or 10 years old. And I'll tell you what, we bought, I had the soundtrack on cassette and it wasn't the song La Bamba that made me want to do it. It was, it was, it was Brian Setzer's cover of summertime blues. And the guitar solo on that soundtrack is so fucking kick-ass.

Him and that Gretsch. Yeah. I just go, God, it's so fucking badass. It just made me, I say, how do you do that? Like, how do you play like that? It was just like he was saying, fuck you with the guitar. Is this it? Well, it's maybe a live version.

Ah, it's a live version. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, the guitars, I said, I'd never heard, you know, because I'd heard lots of electric guitar music, but I'd never heard anybody kind of quite play in that rockabilly, this gnarly ragged rockabilly thing. And I went, man, I want to learn how to do that. I thought that was cool as shit. There's so much attitude on that track. And the other one was Back to the Future. Yeah. That really that scene him playing Johnny B. Good, you know, at the worst dub, like the most obvious other guy singing. The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. Yeah. You know, and that movie came out in 1985. But however, I didn't see it for a few years.

I don't think I saw it probably until I was probably, you however, I didn't see it for a few years. I don't think I saw it probably till I was probably, you know, I was probably 88, something like that. I know we rented it. Definitely didn't see it in the theater. But anyway, so that's set in 1955. So Michael J. Fox, he said, I want to learn this whole thing.

He said, I want the director to be able to cut to my hands at any point and make it look like I'm playing. And he does a really good job. There's some stuff that's a little different, but he does a really, really good job of it. The singing though, in that scene is like, clearly not. Composterous.

Yeah, that was a really kick-ass band of session guys who played on that. and it's great. The drummer swings like he did. He's not playing it straight. That's, people always fuck that up with Johnny B. Goode. Well, anyway, so I immediately notice the electric guitar that he's playing. Now, people, this is the part that people know.

What he's playing is he's playing a Gibson ES 345. I thought it was 335. I can just hear whatever women are listening to this just turn this off right now. Good. Sorry. But there are some people, there are some people who like this shit. And you didn't think they'd turn off about bulldozing kids.

So what I, right. So, touche. So what I always, what I always read immediately was like, well, that style guitar didn't come out till 1958. He's playing it in That's a you know, it's a fuck. I mean who gives who gives a shit Wow who gives a shit I do it then there. I mean there's my name or egregious fuck ups in the past But I didn't realize there was a difference between I think that guitar actually

It was it was rented from a place called Norman's Rare Guitars in Tarzana, he was one of the foremost vintage guitar sellers in the world. So they came in, they say, hey, we need a guitar. And he immediately, he tells them, okay, well, this is, you said 1955, so he gives them something called an ES-5 switch master, which is a futuristic kind of looking guitar.

It's got three pickups and six knobs. They said, we want it to look futuristic. Okay, so he gives them something that's period correct. They take it, they aren't shooting the scene for a while. He says like the day before they come back, they say, no, we don't want this. Whoever's in charge of it looks at this ES 345, which this one wasn't, this one was like a 61.

So it's six years too late. That style didn't come out till 58. So it's three years too late. They say, it's gotta be red. It's gotta have a whammy bar. So he goes, what about that? And he goes, well, that's not accurate. They go, we don't care.

So they take it, they play with that guitar, and that's the part that everybody knows who's like into this shit. Well, about in 2008 or nine, I worked with a guitar player who played that. What? His name's Tim May. Who played that?

Who played, he was the guitar player. In Back to the Future? Yeah. Wow! Yeah, so it's a session guitar player is Tim May. Who played that? Who played he was the guitar player. Back to the future? Yeah. Wow! Yeah, so it's a session guitar player called Tim May who, and I learned two things about Tim May besides the fact that he's a cool, I think he's retired now. Tim May? Like South Park? Tim May. Yeah, Tim May. Yeah. That's why he's like, he looks like Uncle shape like- That's the ugliest person in the world. I don't know if he's that ugly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha order a pizza with jalapeno and anchovy on it. Because that's what we did. He's feeling it, people are like, there he is. Yeah. So.

Dude, he looks like, he looks like the guy from Whiplash. He's like, oh yeah, Simmons. Simmons. No, you're right. I just, I made the Uncle Fester joke. Cause he's faster. I think he's lost weight. I know, I'm sorry.

But. Yeah, when I meet a guy, when I meet another guy who wants anchovies on pizza, I'm like, let's get married. Well, I'm like, let's give get married We were we were thinking about We're yeah, we're like gonna sometimes pizza is the easiest thing to do and we're going to okay Well, they'll order Joe peeps, right? That's kind of our local thing. Yeah over in the valley and You know, so it's I what do you guys you know want on say we end up getting a few obviously he and I were the

Only ones who ate that but you know, he said, anybody like jalapeno? And I go, yeah. And he goes, anybody like anchovies? And I go, oh. Testing you. I go, dude. I go, dude. Go ahead.

How about little pieces of shit? Instantly, you guys are getting your own pizza. So we did. Wow. Okay. Okay, so. Yeah, back to the future. There it is. He's done many films. Oh, man. He's a great jazz Wow! Okay. Okay, so. Yeah, Back to the Future, there it is.

He's done many films. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. He's a great jazz player. Okay. That's really his thing. Forrest Gump, The Simpsons he does. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, he's done. Family Guy. Since the 70s, he's done a... King of the Hill? Did he do... No, that was a band called The Refreshments. That's actually a band. Okay.

But... Dawson's Creek, oh boy. But he's done a million things. And I don't know, I think he's kind of retired now or just does little projects here and there. He's been, I think he's in his early seventies now. He's gotta go to like Comic-Con and just do that riff. Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn. Yeah, right?

Yeah. But anyway, so I actually had a chance to ask him. I said, you know, I think it at the time, I said, so I said, I gotta know about Back to the Future. I said, you know, I think it at the time, I said, so I said, I got to know about Back to the Future. I said, you know, I said, so did you play a 335? They, it was really a 345, slightly different, you know, it's very, very similar because I'm, you know, when you listen to that, I go, yeah, sure.

Sounds, sounds, sounds just like it. Well, what he did, he played, he played a Valley Arts Stratocaster basically. Okay. Which is a, Valley Arts Stratocaster basically. Okay. Which is a, Valley Arts was kind of the first boutique company that made like what they call SuperStrat. So they're based on a Fender Stratocaster, three pickups, but they'd use things like active electronics,

you know, Floyd Rose tremolos, locking nuts. They would take these things, kind of make them bulletproof. And since many manufacturers have done it, like Ibanez, Charvel, Jackson, Kramer, all these things that are basically based on Leo Fender's 1954 Stratocaster. God, I'm boring myself.

Anyway, so it was a solid body strat with active pickups, which is like the first, because if you listen to that, I go, yeah, that could totally be a 335, which really told me one thing, that you can get any guitar to sound like any guitar if you know what the fuck you're doing. And two, the amp means a lot more than the guitar does. I didn't get a chance to ask him about the amp. I'll bet it was a small little combo. Maybe something Tweed, because if you listen to it, I don't care who you are, if you say you hear solid body Stratocaster, you're a liar. There's nothing, it sounds totally correct. It

sounds, okay, so he goes no. So I just go Jesus Christ, you know, like holy shit. So I was, it kind of blew my mind that that was a that was a that was in a cinch Essentially a single coil pickup strat when you what? McFly is playing is not is not and yet I totally buy it I totally buy that that's the guitar knowing the guitar you buy it by because it's a guitar. Yeah There's a lot of so anyway that was that's my little Extra information on that that was a that it was something that wasn't even close to I can't believe you worked with the guy Who recorded that that's like the most yeah every guy our age was like yeah

This this is having a serious impact on me this song this performance this song. It was so fucking kick ass. Like the band was just, I mean, you knew they were all A guys. So, and the, there was actually, I think because Michael J. Fox does a really good job of miming. I have heard from multiple people, it's like, wow, yeah, he really played that well. I mean, I think I've even read that in places where it was like, you know, but for sure, Michael J. Fox did not play that.

That was not him playing guitar, as good as it looks in most places. Looks like he's really concentrating. I think he might have played a little bit. I know that got him to play seriously. Like, I mean, and he played- Oh, he played seriously before the Parkinson's? He played seriously after that, I know.

And I guess probably in the last 25 years, he's developed a hell of a vibrato. Mm. Mm. ["It's Shawn's Guitar Talk"] Ha ha ha! It's Shawn's Guitar Talk. Ha ha ha ha. That might be the worst thing I've ever said.

Band. What? You're gonna get banned from everywhere saying that. You can't say that shit. What would Tim A think? That was absolutely tasteless. But it might be true. Yeah, it's true. I don't know how the brain works.

Can you play music? Because you can sing if you have a stutter. Can you play music even if you have Parkinson's? Something tells me that you probably shake a lot. Man, Ethan Mancegiver's wife has some kind of Parkinson's early. Oh, really?. Oh man. Oh man. So sad. You can get it kind of young. That guy.

Mm mm mm mm. Yeah. All right, well that's my guitar talk. I want to talk about later, the next time, I'll do something more interesting to everybody, the history of the steel guitar. That's the most fucking interesting. Oh. Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. Do you have a steel guitar? No. Why not? Uh. Come on. It's like a computer that's also a guitar and you sit there and whee-er-er-er-er-er. It's like a theremin that's a guitar.

Yeah. You gotta get that. Well, you can have a lap steel or a pet- or a pedal steel. Yeah. Which one would you get? Pedal steel's like playing a helicopter. Okay. That's the- I would've figured- I would've guessed lap steel or a pet or a pedal steel. Yeah. Which one would you get? Pedal steel is like playing a helicopter. Okay. I would have figured, I would have guessed lap steel. Yeah. Are you kidding me?

I don't play enough to consider myself a guitar player. Now. Let alone learn something new. But I got my fucking dog barks like constantly. Yeah. When I play piano or anything, she like sings along. It's like the weirdest fucking thing. She loves it. Like she's really happy. She's going like, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr overtones and stuff. If she's down, she can be outside. If I play one note on the piano, she will bolt up.

She likes it. She loves it. Wow. Like, ah-er-er-er. Some dogs are afraid of instruments. But Dad had a beagle that was terrified. If he saw a guitar case open. I'm out of here.

The dog was booking it. And I mean, you know, had him since he was a puppy. There wasn't any kind of, it was just in the dog. She's always been like this. Even as a puppy, she's like, ah-er it was just in the dog. She's always been like this, even as a puppy, she's like, she just loves, and then I saw another dog on Instagram, that was the same thing.

They were like, they would bug you to play music, but it's really fucking annoying. So it's hard to, cause I mean, you're hearing a dog howling. A dog howling. And you're trying to. Ah! Okay, good guitar talk okay now what if in back to the future to Marty McFly had gotten raped by Biff cuz that's Joker 2 yeah okay all right same movie basically not good a man a young man yeah shit on by the system, bucks morality, and you know, thus spake Zarathustra, right? And it rises to power and breaks all, any conception of moral values, destroys, walks

right through, changes his life for the better. That's the movie. That's Back to the Future, that's Joker. And then the second movie is Marty McFly is raped by Biff and realizes that Doc was right, that you can't mess with history. Does that sound like a good movie? Bad time. Bad time.

Yeah. Okay. Gentlemen Sausage. Internet of shit stuff is so badly secured that kids can find your robot on show Dan or something and just trivially take it over. It's funny when it's a vacuum shouting slurs, but now consider the remote controlled sex bots

mentioned earlier in the episode. People will get fucked to death. They will fuck too close to the sun, fucking these robots and a dumb kid is gonna get in there will get fucked to death. They will fuck too close to the sun, fucking these robots, and a dumb kid is gonna get in there and fuck them to death. It's worse than the Indian who's supposed to be controlling it, because now you're dead. It's technically even worse than a pedophile.

I don't know what that means. You missed that news article. Did I? I must have. You get a news girl where hackers were hacking into people's Roombas and chasing their dogs around and calling them slurs, racial slurs. What is this? What?

What happened? Somebody hacked a Roomba? They were doing it all over the place. What the fuck? They were hacking your like, your like vacuums, robot vacuums, and then saying the N-word. The robot vacuum goes online? Yeah, it does. How?

They didn't just talk to the base? Well, that goes online. I guess it, well, I guess they'd upload some kind of information, cause they want, they would want data on how often is it running? How often, I don't know, maybe. Yeah, you know, what else is there?

I don't know how it works. We gotta have, we gotta be able to say anything at any time. Laughing ferret says, opinion needed. The Taliban has banned women from speaking to one another. Whoa, Khalid Hanafi, Taliban's minister for virtue and vice. Oh, they got both in the same position. For virtue and vice. And vice.

I would think you wanna split those up. Right. Declared it- Church and state. Yeah. I'm not sure that's separate either. Declared it forbidden for adult women to let their voices be heard by other women.

Yeah. Wow! That would solve so many problems. Women can't talk to each other. Whew. They would have a bad idea and it would just go away. Another woman wouldn't be there like, you got any bad ideas today? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I agree. That's a good bad idea. Yeah, that's a good one. Ooh, that's spicy. Further, how are they gonna get suicide bombers if they're already living in heaven? You know? How's the Taliban gonna go recruit suicide bombers

if they're already living in a world where women can't talk to each other or be fat? But they can talk to them. I mean, that's true, I guess. What if they save it up? Yeah. That could backfire. Like, yeah, that was a good idea, but now my wife's at home telling me every stupid

thing that she thinks instead of her Yenta friends, right? I really kind of feel bad about that vibrato comment I don't know. He just he jokes about it all the time very poor taste. No, it's good Declared it they declared it forbidden to further restricting existing bands on speaking and showing their faces in public. Okay. Well Might backfire. Yeah Maddox's side of the comic-con story. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh did he okay? Well, yeah, I know the comic-con story, right? Yeah, the cat girl called in. Yeah, that was the okay. Yep ruined everyone's day right with her shit A couple of dickheads were trying to organize a gangbang of her.

She was like, she had a chat room and she was telling them that they could come over and fuck her together. Who was saying this? The cat girl. When? This week. This week?

Yeah, sending everyone nudes and saying like, come over and run a train on me. She's a fucking, she's a mess and a half man like that's. Be funny though if they gang banged her right. It would be funny. You might get PTSD out of it Christ the bulldozer guy. Okay, here we go. Maddox is what they could call the orgy. The bulldozer.

So Maddox, he invited a girl to Comic-Con and then she started flirting with a guy and smoking weed with him and then he threw her out. Right. Here's what he has to say. Here's what, here's his response to it. Got it. Ready? Yeah. Okay, I really don't appreciate what you guys are doing.

Yeah, make fun of me and stuff, whatever. But finding a female acquaintance and badgering them to slander me is crazy. It is fucked up crazy stalker behavior. I don't know why I expected anything different at this point. For those of you not in the No Fanboy Bailed a Woman I Used to Know Out of Jail, where she fucking belonged, then had her call into this dumbass show and spill spaghetti everywhere. Don't go listen to the episode. It is un-listenable.

And do not sign up to the Dick Show Patreon to listen to the bonus episode where they play an obviously fake recording of her. She almost sounds coherent in it. That's how you know it is fake. Well, he might have a point there. Yeah, you got a point, man. Okay.

The gist of it is, and- Her talking about the dick pics you got a point, man. Okay. The gist of it is, and her talking about the dick pics on the iWatch though. Yes. Maddox sending her dick pics on her iWatch. iWatch, yeah. That was funny. It was funny. Cause you don't think when you're sending the pic.

Right, that it's gonna go to an iWatch. Yeah, you're imagining it on like the big screen. Right. Wow, look at that dick. Yeah. And it's like, boop, boop. Yeah. Like that's no good, nobody wants that. The g. And it's like boop, boop. Yeah. Like that's no good.

Nobody wants that. The gist of it is, and by it, I mean the latest fairy tale the Nazis are spinning about me is that I went to Comic-Con, struck out with two women and my penis is small. Wow. So original grow up. How gullible are you guys?

I have been feuding with Sean for over half a decade and suddenly this embarrassing story, that isn't even that embarrassing, falls into his lap. Life isn't a movie, but my life is kick ass. Yes, there is a story, and I am here to set the record straight. Set sail and buckle in chumps, because you are about to learn

about my real comic con adventure. Yes, okay, here we go. So Catgirl hit me up because she was a fan of my writing. That was surprising because normally my fans are more cogent. She sent me nudes, but I wasn't interested. Let's just say the only kind of hefty I like is garbage bags. No interest in women who look like garbage bags. But yeah, chicks would hit me up all the time.

They still do, actually. I'm just drowning in pussy. Anyway, that's how the second girl comes into the story. She's black, by the way. She was a fan and she wanted to go to Comic-Con, but was broke. I paid her way there and no, I did not expect anything sexual in return. I would never demand a fan eat my ass.

Fanboy probably would, but I am a gentleman and I believe in reparations. She's black, by the way. Just kidding. Fuck's sake. Oh, by the way, Sean is not in this story, thank Armenian God. There's more to my life than these podcast creeps. I'm not that predictable.

So I rode my bike to Comic Con to meet the second girl there. While we were on the topic when I'm riding my bike, I find nothing more scary than the fact that a small but very vocal minority of my fellow Angelenos think that bike riders breaking rules are the problem. When I drive my car, when I had a car, I did get a bit annoyed when I saw cyclists flagrantly break rules or otherwise do dumb things. But five times on my bike ride to Comic Con,

I was nearly ran off the road by drivers. I am not the problem here. So yeah, after my ride from hell, I arrived at Comic Con. It did not help my mood. And I hope you sociopaths take that into account later in the story when I may have acted a little rash, but ultimately correctly. Running every, uh, just kind of running defense early, right? Uh, we don't even need Maddox anymore. Get the AI. Yeah, these are better.

These are pretty good. In so many ways. Every every way I checked into my hotel and let my platonic guest get cozy in the room I went out to walk around comic-con and meet fans and boy did I meet one Kevin Smith approached me like how a special needs child approaches Gronk he said he was such a big fan of my writing and that I was an inspiration to him he wanted me in a movie but I shot him down brutally he asked why like a bitch, and apparently, I had to explain to him he made Chasing Amy,

which is a film about Ben Affleck aggressively pursuing a lesbian. That's rape. That's funny. Maddox wouldn't know who Gronk is. Nearby cosplay chicks swooned at my dressing down of Kevin Smith. They were dressed as Pac-Man and the ghosts.

They gobbled up my pellets in the woman's restroom. I still hear Kevin cry when I get horny. I returned to my room and to my horror discovered some guy was in my hotel room with my vulnerable and very black fan. To make matters worse, he had a scorpion statue, which as we all know means he is a scorpion worshiper. They're ruining this country.

I tried to kick just the guy out, but he had his hooks in her He had already cast his spell um so I had to kick them both out while I destroyed the source of his power the scorpion Statue unfortunately it was strong, so I needed tools, but I couldn't just walk outside with it They'd rip me to pieces so I used the bottle of lube I always have with me for non-sexual reasons and hid the scorpion up my ass It's not gay, it's heroic. I crab walked to a junkyard to destroy the demon in one of those car presser things.

That is the real comic con story. I got laid, I saved a black's life, and I am a hero. A black's life. That girl is bitter that I rejected her, and she is unaware of the evil that lurks in men's hearts. Okay. That's why she said a bunch of libelous bullshit. There you go.

Wow. That's the other side of the story. What do you think? Well, it just- It makes makes sense. I believe that too. Right. You know, yeah, it's nice to have the full picture Yeah, it is from both of them. Yeah Okay, Doug Weiss, I love the AI counter robot idea, but instead of best friend or a parent You could use the next-door neighbor's hot wife or another PTA single mom. Oh yeah, this was something about women using chat GPT

to argue with their boyfriends. Oh, I see. You gotta have a counter to that. You know, cause they go there, women go on chat GPT and explain their side, not even thinking that it's like totally biased and preposterous. Okay. You know, I came home and without doing anything

and my boyfriend just started yelling at me for, you know. Being drunk on mimosas and. Ha ha ha ha ha said. Yeah. 99%. She's saying 99% of... 0.9% trans women. 99.9% of trans women. Yeah. So that's what they... Only five of them want to play. It's inferred that she's saying that women do as well.

That naturally born women want to do as well. That's all they want to do is get blasted on mimosas. She's 50 by the way. Oh yeah. So it's all women want to do in their 50s is get fucking blitzed, not hang out with their grandkids or their kids. Eat hot chips.

And lie and charge their phone. Peter Carter sends a link of something. Let's see what this is. Oh, oh yeah, bad sports announcer. Okay, they got Danica Patrick doing F1 announcing now. Okay. Everyone hates Danica Patrick now because she said to vote for Trump.

Why, oh, is she a guest on an F1 race? I guess, I don't know. It does look like, I'm looking at the F1. I mean, she never drove F1. I mean, she did drive IRL and she drove NASCAR. Yeah, but you know, it's a name. Of course it is. Super tricky, but here we go.

Carlos Sainz with the DLOS Open, Danica. It's a long run down here into turn one, obviously. Is this real? This is a fast section here longest time to turn one on the calendar here we go all right good job Danica oh that was real yeah I guess that's tough that's tough Eh, not good, not good. Okay. Okay, woman alert.

Woman alert. I really hope this is a robot engineer. I really hope that someone tricked her into thinking this is how you do an oil change, but she might actually be that stupid. All right, let's be the judge of that. This is a woman doing an oil change. Well, that's pretty simple process.

I mean, I don't do it because I don't want to deal with the mess and stuff, but you know, you just, you put an oil pan down and then you pull the plug, right? Some sort of a plug is coming out, unscrewing it seems pretty simple, you know. Yeah. Oh, I see.

So she's... She's, uh... She's under the car. Yeah. And she has the oil pan... She's laying down on her back under the car and she's holding the oil pan above her. That's what she's doing? To get it closer to the oil coming out.

Okay. I guess. And now the oil is coming out. You can see. And for some reason she's holding the oil pan above her, over her by like six inches. Oh and it's leaking. Why is she doing that? I don't know. It's all over her shirt now and her clothes and It's all over the cardboard box And people are throwing towels at her Still time to get out of the way and put the oil pan. Oh, and she's dumped the entire oil pan Why why now the oil is draining on her and she's figured out that you can just put the oil pan on the floor Perhaps she thought it would splatter all over the place. That's the only thing that I can think of that it will splatter

Yeah, that's a tough one Now she soaked an oil. Yeah idiot, right? Okay. Oh You got to be very specific Boy instructions. Okay, you gotta be very specific. With your instructions. Okay, that's, that happened. Johnson Brown says, Sean might like this. Oh yeah. Okay. Let's see here.

Some sort of a guitar thing, I'm guessing. Crazy custom guitar I made. What the fuck? My friend and I made a very specific guitar for him. He'll be living in a van and didn't want a pedal board So we'll be recording while on the road so it includes everything But the kitchen sink all the circuitry for various like boxes and things Wow I don't know. I don't think that's something Sean would like that is

Wild so that's that's we're looking at the back of the guitar. Yeah, this is the inside of the guitar. Taken apart, here's all the, every stompbox possible. That's fucking insane. Wow, and this is the front. It's retarded. Looks like Bill and Ted too. I like all that bolt on shit in it.

So you can control that shit from the front? I guess, yeah. No, I would love to play that thing. Hahaha, okay. All right. Yeah, that looks pretty cool, I guess. I mean, if it all works... Yeah, one thing goes down, and everything goes down. That's fucking crazy. Huh.

Oh, and it's got like missile launch guards. Yeah, right. Some of these things That's cool. Actually because the pedals are so big. What's the point? They don't need to be No, I mean it just holds the circuitry. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's tough for getting kicked. You know exactly. No, it's tough to so it lasts Yeah, okay That's crazy Look at he's got a fucking, he's got a meter on that.

Is that like so you can monitor like gain reduction on your compressor or something or? It's not in a very easy to read part. What a trip. Cool, okay. Because he's gonna go live in a van, but he's gonna record. He's still gonna record. He's basically living the in a van, but he's gonna record.

He's still gonna record. He's basically living the dream. Yeah, I have other questions. Seemingly straight... Uh, sends this one... What do you got here, buddy? Uh... Great news report! Oh, Navy identifies two aviators killed... Oh, okay.

In a growler crash near Mount Rainier. Woman alert. Can I solve this? Two women have crashed a plane. Mm-hmm. Okay. What happened here? What happened here?

The crew members were identified as Lieutenant Commander Lindsay Page Evans and Lieutenant Serena Nicole Wellman. What's a growler crash? I don't know. They crashed a big beer? The crew members were identified. It's a heavy heart that we share the loss of these two. Okay.

What'd they do? They crashed it. Commission. Biden was involved. They're among our nation's finest. He just gave a statement saying sorry. Okay. Biden was involved. They're among our nation's finest. He just gave us a statement saying sorry. Okay, they crashed.

EA 18G, I don't know. The terrain was mountainous. Yeah. That's what happened. Yeah. They were in their plane. They were going through mountainous terrain. Was it a helicopter?

What's a growler? I don't know, look it up, EA 18. Crash site, okay. Tonight, two airmen from Naval Air Station Whitby Island are still missing after their jet crashed east of that way near Tuesday. Thanks for being with us. I'm Jessica Janna Castro.

The wreckage was found yesterday, but those airmen are still not found. King Five's Cornelius Hawker joins us tonight with what we know at this point. Jessica, the last update we received from the Navy a couple hours ago is that they were trying to reach the crash site. They cannot give any updates on the crew

without assessing that site. But no, they described it as remote, steep, and heavily wooded at 6,000 feet. Get out of here. The last time something similar to this happened was in 2013. Oh, what? Oh, the growler.

Oh, it's an F18. It's like a special version of an F18. Oh, that's a big plane. Well, it's a bad ass plane. Yeah. Oh, these two broads crashed it. EA, 18G growler. I've never heard that.

Cause I know that, you know, F18 is noticeable. There's Hornets, Super Hornet. Yeah. Yeah. And their loved ones tell us they feel for the families who are going through what they experienced. Was there And their loved ones tell us they feel for the families who are going through what they experienced. Was there a gay or black guy that they could have got

to deliver this news? 10 years ago. Like, what is this? I don't know. Lieutenant William Brown- He's not even standing straight up. He's like standing in a gay way over here. Okay.

Lieutenant Valerie Capilare Delaney and Lieutenant Commander Alan A. Patterson died on March 11th, 2013. Okay, okay. Lieutenant Valerie Capilare Delaney and Lieutenant Commander Alan A. Patterson died on March 11th, 2013. Okay, okay. So two chicks wrecked a plane. There's a dude in there though too. How is it, wait. I don't know what that was.

This is the two though. I guess not three people go in that plane. I don't think. They should add a third person to those planes. Mix it up. Yeah. Okay, well, you know, that's too bad. Damn.

That's too bad. Expensive plane. Yeah, no shit. Erotic story. Alright. The Dick Show presents... An erotic story from a real man. This is from Zoner. Hey, Dick and Sean, you can call me Zoner. I got major blue balls from girls ghosting me

on Monday and Tuesday. You're setting up dates on a Monday and Tuesday? God damn. So I found this girl named Mrs. Grace. Oh, she's a prostitute. Oh boy. She's got eight cups and she's a hundred pounds soaking wet. Tiny girl.

Her bio said that she was in her 20s But her face looked a bit older on the site and when I asked her how long She was whoring she said six years. Hmm. How long you been whoring? Since she was 14. I attach her picture in the email for the video. Well, I don't know if... Do we... I can't, I'm not gonna put a whore on blast. That's the... I mean...

Well, can we see? We can see it. Uh, okay. Let's see. Here's the whore in question. Okay. I'm having trouble seeing that. Yeah, I'm gonna blow it up. Here. Oh. in question. Okay, I'm having trouble seeing that. Yeah, I'm gonna blow it up here. She's at some kind of a radio red carpet.

Oh, okay, yeah. She's wearing braces, but she does look like she's about 37 centuries old. Well, she looks, could be older than her 20s, but yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of makeup she's got on her. Yeah, it is. Maybe hiding some meth picking, Adderall picking, induced picking compulsions.

She's tiny though. Yeah. It could be worse. You're getting a whore. Could be worse. Yeah, sure. Got kind of a whore. Well could be worse. Yeah, sure Kind of a weird way to stand but whatever. I text I sent her a text and the next morning we meet up. Yeah She gave a great blowjob, but when it was time for the main course

She stretched out the condom Like she was opening a bag of chips what like what like when you're pulling chips to like break the seal or stretch? Stretched out like you know you open chips you grab the sides and you hope like it doesn't explode. Yeah She's stretching a condom out like that. Well, she's stretching it out lengthwise or widthwise? She stretched, she stretch out the condom like she was opening a bag of chips. Well, you don't open a bag of chips like long ways. So it's gotta be sideways.

Yeah, yeah. So yeah. Unlike the what? Okay, all right. She's grabbing the condom and stretching it out like, like making it talk. Hi. Give me your penis.

I don't know. I was a bit worried. Uh-oh, kind of conjugation problems. Well, I know that's the second one I've noticed, but maybe it's not his first language. I was a bit worried, but I brush it. What is happening here? She wrote-

I think it must be not his first language. He's not getting past tense. I think kids are just retarded now, man. They can't write to save their lives. Maybe true, but usually you'd get the tense at least some of the time. COVID has made kids so stupid, missing two years and kindergarten and whatever

has melted them. I noticed it way before then. Like, because I've worked with people who have like young kids and I saw what they were reading and how they were and like just things that they would write for whatever reason. It was like, it was kind of shocking. It was shocking that like this kid is 10 years old

and that is how he wrote. Yeah. What is... Uh, beatings is the only solution. She wrote me RC style, reverse cowgirl style. That's the worst way, in my opinion. Like, what am I... I just watch TV.

What's going on here? And I felt something wet and saw my jizzing was leaking out. Yeah. I told her immediately to stop. Your jizz is leaking out already? I'm thinking because she... How much jizz are you leaking out? Right.

Because she stretched it out? But how much are you like... Right. Okay. She was on top, so I wasn't worried. Okay. You should definitely be worried. After I left the hotel.

Well, you know, he understands gravity, I guess. You know, you can stand on your hands and swallow something. Excellent. Jackass. It's hands and swallow something. Excellent. Jackass. That's not how it works. Excellent analogy. You should worry. If you're in a room with a woman and your pants are off, you should be worried.

That's a pretty good rule of thumb for you guys out there. Caution is at least warranted. Yeah. You're in the yellow. Yeah. Toward the red side, Not toward the green side. No matter what. Right.

It's trending negatively. Mm-hmm. It's past the middle. After I left the hotel, I sent her a text saying she shouldn't stretch out the condom like that and was the reason for the leak. What's going on here? I don't know. She instantly raged at me

Oh and said he got that past tense and said my Trojan condoms were cheap I attach a screenshot of the text. I didn't have her Keep going. I just didn't realized sooner since this was the fourth time I have ever smashed I just didn't realized sooner, since this was the fourth time I have ever smashed. I just didn't realized sooner. Okay. Seeing as how this was the fourth time I had ever engaged in sexual intercourse. Okay. Here's the text that she sent him.

Okay? This is what the whore sent him. Yeah. I've been doing this for years and you use cheap condoms trojan. Oh so she's retarded too. Is everyone retarded? Am I like, is this like idiotic, is it idiotic where I talk like an ass slur? I can't understand him. I know. You use complete sentences and people get distracted. Like is this, this is what, this is not translated.

I'm a, like, so she sent- That white girl sent this? She sent him a text in English. I have been doing this for years. You use cheap condoms, Trojan. Those all have issues. Invest in skin condoms. S-K-Y-N. I have them here today.

Is this a condom ad? That we're getting sent? Please don't blame me. You didn't even notice you finished. That's what- okay, that was kind of my questions, like- Jizz was leaking out everywhere? What are you guys doing exactly? Did you not know that you came?

That's not good. You gotta go to a doctor. That's not good. Yeah, you're supposed to know. You're supposed to know! That's why you wanna do it! That's why you leave Yeah, you're supposed to know you're supposed to know that's why you want to do it Why you leave cuz you notice? Please don't blame me. You didn't even notice you finished That's why as well you had me keep going after you finished. How did you do that?

That were you coming that's your penis that's what I'm talking about That's what I mean. I have no interest in booking with you again. Wow, these whores are picky. You know? Well, she's been burned by fucking... She's been burned by Chris the Kiwi before maybe. I have no interest in booking with you.

Alright, my man. The whole thing is weird. Edit, as I was typing this email, I apologized and she actually accepted it. Well, send that. I will smash her again. But now I know to never criticize a woman when she making high school level mistakes.

Okay. When she making high school level mistakes. Okay. You're right. The lesson that you learned was the correct one. Okay. You're right. The lesson that you learned was the correct one. Okay. You should be worried when your semen's wiggling around, you know, no matter what orientation with gravity.

That is correct. You need to understand this. You can still swallow if you're standing on your head. That's, I will, that's good. I'll remember that one. Their body was designed to trap you. You know, it works in any kind of way. It fights gravity.

It does everything. Anything you don't want to happen will happen when you're having sex with women. But more than that, you got to work on this grammar. That's going gonna be... You got to work on this grammar so you can, you know, get access to a higher quality of horror. One that's not gonna give you, pitch you condom ads. Right. You know? Right.

You don't be arguing with a woman about the cheapness of your condoms. Right. That's... Petty. That's silly petty stuff, you know? That's like nickel and diming. You want to be arguing with them about, do I wear a condom or not? You're supposed to be falling in love with her.

You're supposed to be asking her to marry you. You're supposed to be getting free shit from her. Got it. Not brow-beaten for your condom purchasing. Condom choice, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure Trojan would be thrilled to know that their name is being fucking libeled around. Jesus Christ. All right.

Just fat-watch and then get out of here. Today in Fat News, Dominic, Hey Dick and Sean, I broke up with... Can you believe this? What? With this grammar? These kids are having sex. Is it English anymore? I Don't know. I don't know man Edit as I was typing this email. I apologized and she actually accepted it. I will smash her again Yeah, so he used to two past tense verbs in that

Did you come? Well. Did you? Right. Do you know? That's what I'm talking. That whole part is weird. You didn't even know you came. Right.

Is that like an insult that women are saying? This guy's so fucking shitty and Benny doesn't even know when he comes. Wow. That's a medical oddity. If you don't know. That's bad in bed though. If you don't know you had an orgasm. Right? I mean it's bizarre. Hey Dick and Sean I broke up with my girlfriend a couple months ago. Good for you. And I have been on the dating apps

Hinge and Tinder. I should call it Huge. That should be a dating app. Since then, since then, it's absolutely god fucking awful out there. I'm a six foot muscular good looking guy making decent money and currently getting a Masters in Computer Science. And I get plenty of quality matches. Wow, good for you. Fucking nerd. But trying to talk to or meet any of these women

is like trying to charm a brick wall. I've concluded that I need to up my in-person game because that's the only way I'm gonna get laid. In person. Meeting chicks in person. Because you get them on the dating apps and you gotta like, you gotta say, you gotta just treat them like shit.

You know, like, hey, hey you dumb whore. Like, hey, hey you venereal disease ridden whore. This is how dating starts now? Yeah, I think so. I would never make it. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't make it, yeah. You could just fire up Twitter though.

What, I could fire up Twitter? Yeah, for dating. What do you mean? Just fire up Twitter, talk about guitars. They fire up Twitter? Yeah, for dating. What do you mean? Just fire up Twitter, talk about guitars. They don't like that. Post you, they love it. And they don't have to talk. They could listen to you talk for hours.

I was ready to bail halfway through that guitar talk. I don't expect- No, it was great. I don't expect anybody to- That twist of Back to the Future was great. Oh, yeah, that was cool that I was like, oh, holy shit, that's the guy. The only problem with your story for women is that it had a beginning and an end.

Oh, no. If it just went straight, they would go, God, this is amazing. I never felt so warm. I've concluded that I need to step up my in-person game because that's the only way I'm gonna get laid. All that aside, I recently discovered that Tinder has categories you can swipe in

based on your interests, such as free tonight, long-term partners, free tonight, wow, thrill seekers, binge watchers, there's no free cocaine category, huh? The one I thought you'd get a kick out of is sporty, so you can meet women on Tinder with the category of sporty. Right. What do you picture in your mind? Well, you know, what you're supposed to picture in your mind is a really hot chick wearing a baseball hat.

Yeah. But that's probably not what it is. Like that pole, like that pole vaulter. Yeah, I mean, with a ponytail pulled through the back. Exactly. That's who you're supposed to picture, but. Okay, let's see what we got here. I'm guessing it's sporty.

Uh... Sporty. Uh... Sporty. No surprises here. It's exactly what you'd expect. Other Domic. And then he sends me a bunch of pictures. Of tackling dummies. That's what... That's what sporty is.

Let's see. They look like tackling dummies. Oh my lord! No! What sport is this, Sumo? Oh no. Oh no! Come on, and she's got a tattoo down here. Of her underwear maybe. Tattoo of my underwear here. Yeah guys love that. They love seeing the underwear. Okay, her jeans are, well nothing is form

fitting. There's no form to fit it on, so that's nice. This is some sort of... That's her taking a picture of herself in the mirror? Is that what... or I'm just... Her bones, her arms are like rounded, because she's so fat. Using the phone has caused her bones to deform. Well, it's like, yeah, she's so fat, using the phone has caused her bones to deform. Well, it's like, yeah, she's got that real convex... Yeah, she's got one of these phone holder things, the little holders that clips out, but she's got an extra, it's like a little plunger that's on the back of your phone that you go click, click, like click, click, click, the little plastic thing that you click out

so you can hold your phone while you're on it. And hers has an extra ring of clicking because her fingers are so fat. Click click click, like an elephant. Right? Okay. She's got every MC Escher painting ever made tattooed on her thigh over here.

Right. Sporty. Sometimes, this is a workout barbell, sometimes. Oh wow. And then smoking, trying to quit. I think she got these mixed up. Working out, trying to quit. Smoking sometimes.

Trying to quit. Drinking. How big would she be if she did quit? Working out? No, smoking. Smoking? Oh yeah. Cause I mean, you know, it's a stimulant

and it's appetite suppressant, right? I mean- I think they took that out though. I think they outlawed that, the appetite suppressant chemical in cigarettes. I think- Wait, I thought that was just a by-product of nicotine. They took it out.

They genetically engineered nicotine to make- No, really? When you eat more now. What? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh, god damn you. Look at. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. God damn you. Look at all these sporty women in your area. Yeah, there's some others I guess.

Yeah, there's others. That was just one. Yeah. Come on man, love this shit. What's going on? Why would they identify as sporty? I don't know. I mean, they maybe they are kind of built like high school softball players. Stadium.

Damn it. Where is it? It's not opening in the thing. I don't want it to. Why would they identify as sporty? I don't know. There must be some sort of advantage to being seen as sporty. Is she holding a towel? You got to tarp.

Let's see here. Is this not? Oops. There we go. Here we go. Okay, here's another sporty lady, another sporty lass. Yeah. Wearing a prom outfit. You know it's good when the, when your arms are bulging around the gloves. Look at this fucking sausage casing. Glove that she's got here. You gotta stretch that glove out a little more.

She could have been a softball player. Catcher? A pitcher maybe. Gotta work that weight around. There's some big ones in high school. Sporty like a sport where you move around a lot. Oh no. No, that's not me.

Uh, yeah she could have been a softball player, you're right. Alright, let's see here. Sporty? Jesus. Her head would fit on the Jumbotron. Sporty. My anxiety is chronic, but this ass is iconic. Oh boy. The sobriety is chronic, but this ass is iconic.

If I'm not at work, I'm at the gym, slash walking my dog. You are, what are you doing at the gym? Eating? There are a lot of people I would ask that question of. Yeah. It's like, I work out all the time. It's like, you're not the right way. Yeah, no. Like clearly not.

I promise to say hi in the wild. I promise I don't bite that hard. I only eat soft foods. Oh, come on, sporty. Get the fuck out of here. Why? Taking our culture. Okay, let me make a couple more of these.

These are all sporty, huh? Yeah, man. Okay. What do you think? I don't, I would not say sporty. You wouldn't describe them as sporty? No, no. These girls?

Oh, wow, here's a bruiser. Let's see here. Uh... Sporty. Yeah. Let's see here. Sporty. Look at that midsection. That's the sport curve right there. I don't get sporty. When your pants fit like you might be wearing a diaper under them.

I think you might not be sporty. Yeah. Swimming, walking. Swimming. Under them. I think you might not be sporty. Yeah swimming walking swimming I was just I think she means bobbing Walking and you know bobbing for doughnuts. Just just bobbing, you know Reading yeah Reading about sports. Oh coffee coffee about sports. Come on, honey. There's nothing sporty about you Oh Yeah, obviously about sports. Come on, honey. There's nothing sporty about you.

Uh... Oh my. Here's another sports enthusiast. No. Hahahaha! What if you just went on Tinder and wrote, Uh, huge dick. I got a gigantic cock. And you just show up and it's just normal. Right? Is that... You'd feel bad, right?

I guess. Like, why did I do that to that poor lady? Here she is sporting at the Gingerbread House somewhere. Sporty right there. This is in the sporty category. Eating competition maybe. Well, that, you know... Amateur...

Yeah? Eating competition, you think? Could be. Okay. Thanks for that, Dominic. Good luck out there. Right. Beware of false advertising. Yeah.

Okay, you can't even, who is this? Liam, you can't even eat a Happy Meal in peace anymore. Okay. Is it Fat Watch? Excuse me, what are you, this isn't even lunch. Is it Happy Meal? fat watch? I'm trying to have my lunch. So where are your children? Who said this is for children? It's a happy meal. I just can't like, this man, he just can't be in the more happy meal. And what's wrong with that?

But where have you put the kids? What do you mean where have I put the kids? It's for me. Where's your car? Why are you asking me a million questions? So it's what Robert done to you? Why is she on TV? Like, you're just here, yeah, just fun and he makes us laugh. I Yeah What papers? Who reads the papers? It's 2024. Do you read the papers online? Yeah, she's calling me a pedophile. Yeah, obviously.

Knock her out. I have some weird island talk to me. I have something to tell you. I have something. You're talking about Epstein's Island? Yeah. What's that got to do with my Happy Meal? It's a fucking...

You might have a Happy Meal in there. You're not stuck in here. You've got a Happy Meal there. It's a fucking happy birthday. Who are you working for? I'm working for myself and I'm hungry and you're disturbing my lunch. I'm straight but that ain't a lunch. That ain't a lunch, right? Because she sees it and she's like, there's no way a guy could eat four McNuggets and a small fries.

You must be raping kids over there. Jesus, what the fuck? Okay, lady goes wedding dress shopping. Well, it should be beautiful. It's a bit blow. This dress. What material is this made out of? The second comment. Is the lucky black guy?

Oh my god. Oh my god. What, uh, this. Oh! They're getting so big! This is where, you know, your friends and or family need to kind of just go...

Bro, they're all that fat too. I know it's your day. Yeah, but some have... But we gotta go. Some have more self-awareness than others. Oh yeah. There's different levels of shame. She's wearing a, like a form-fitting dress dress or what would have been a form-fitting dress

but it's stretched out like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Yeah it's it's severe. It's really it's really severe. It's a weird body shape. Right it's one of those. Uh yeah. Try to fit it to see if that's something you want to go with because I don't know what I really. And they have a Southern accent, that's crazy. Doesn't that, that sounds, it kind of sounds like a black woman to me, like maybe. You think it's a black lesbian wedding? No, no, no, I mean, maybe she is marrying a black guy. Maybe that comment wasn't a joke.

I just, I mean. It's not a joke. That was Kamala Harris's plan for black guys, protect their crypto. Get these Wiley's fatter. And that's fair. That's the best way to go in it. You know, open, trying different things.

Right. Now I do like... Oh, that's better. Much better. Much better. Okay. Much... Yeah, yeah.

Now let's get it... Let's make the dress, the waistline higher. So it's about up over your head. Okay. Much poofier dress. Now let's get it, let's make the dress, the waistline higher. So it's about up over your head. Okay. Hahaha. Maybe she could wear a shower curtain with the ring. Stand on her shoulders and it's like just circles. Like a Halloween costume.

Right, the whole thing's a veil. Hahaha. You can pull that up because you can change that strap. Okay. I feel like it's a little bigger. It does not sit like... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH I don't know.

Oh my God. You know they need a wedding dress that says like so it's like slimming and it says look behind you. Right. So if you see it you go go what really you turn around real fast. So and then they walk away Oh, right. That's how to make them look slimmer For your frame. So let's just go try on another one. See what that feel like You like the line. Yeah, good. I love the dress on you. I do like the V in the back

But for dude, but you have a horrible tattoo back there. Yeah, what is it? I don't know it See old Denny's logo Man I'm bad at a lot of stuff I'm at least ugly enough where if I tried on two things be like I don't need to try on more things It's not I mean gotcha just two and right. I'll just that's how I look this almost seems like the person the person filming is and then I'll just, that's how I look. This almost seems like the person filming is, like owns the store, runs the department or something, but it, cause she's, she has like opinions that are like,

you know, valid. Like, so I don't know. Yeah, like you look fatter in that dress. But I don't know why the person who's helping you would be filming. Would be filming, yeah. Well, this is Juicy Body Goddess 2.0. Is it? 2.0. It's constant. Body Goddess 2.0. Um... Is it...

2.0... It's more 7, 8.0. On the Richter scale. 2.0 just seems like a small update to me. Shamu.0. That's what it's... Hahahaha! Plus size, fashion, and confidence. In-store for online, ships internationally.

By Barge. Uh... Charlotte, North Carolina. Wow, that's a shame. These ones out there, they don't need to be represented too, right? Right. No, fuck off, get out of here.

That's different or is... That's a different... I guess it's... you're right, it's just this shop that just sells like fat women stuff. I guess, yeah. For a wedding, no. We turn around... Oh wow! It's a fractal! Well they're trying to... Every imaginary number in the dress... Break up the shape with patterns

You know what I mean? Like so it's like like the military uses that to confuse, you know Spotters from you know airplanes or something where it's like, oh, they can't see the tank down there It's got a net drug over it. You know, look has this broken up pattern, right? We invented a new kind of math To distract people from how fat you are on the strass. Oh, this is really... It's so beautiful. It's beautiful? Yes.

Oh, that's fucking beautiful. Oh, they're black roses. Yeah. It should just be the Grim Reaper. Pheww, flooding around. Jesus. The size of her arms, man. It's a little long. It's a little long. Yeah. We thought you'd be fat.

There's plenty of room to plump up before the big day. It's so beautiful on you. Look at the size of these arms man. Oh okay. So yeah. She could put my head in a headlock. Her arms are bigger than my thighs. Dude she's got big arms. That's a huge bitch. No doubt about it. That's the worst one, definitely. Yeah, that's kind of, that's a shocker. That's when you pull that up first. Oh!

All right, Anthony, here's your bride come stumbling down the aisle. Anthony. She's going to turn sideways like she's boarding a spirit airlines flight Turning sideways down the aisle right they're gonna have a new bride bride shuffle turning sideways back and forth to wedge down the aisle Yeah, and then that and that and it that I will spirit airlines was the only airline that I've ever seen a fight in the terminal. Oh, yeah in the in the gate by the gate Yeah, was it two Jewish guys going at each other?

Okay, everybody Thanks for listening Com slash dick show dick.io We got a bonus episode the The bonus episode is out. We go over the Comic-Con story. It's pretty funny. It is funny. Yeah, it's about it.

See you next, see you next Monday or Tuesday. The See You Monday Network. That's where we are now. Right. Presenting Dick. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. Oh. Oh

We weren't going to gangbang her Balder says about the the cat girl They're gonna take her to they're gonna Eiffel Tower her. It was just him and another guy They were gonna both tag team that girl. Okay spit roaster. Got it. They weren't gonna gangbang her. Okay. Sorry wasn't getting gangbang my mistake my be my b-boys She looks like a D a Dairy Queen soft serve they said yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah? Yeah? Uh...

Da da da da da... Uh, I forgot to load this up. Maybe we do one or two voiceovers. For Halloween, remember to go out and vote. Vote for Trump, obviously. Make fun of anybody who's not voting for Trump. Tell them they have a small dick and stuff. Do whatever you want, you know.

Just do whatever you would normally do.. Do whatever you want, you know. Just do whatever you would normally do. Behave how you would behave in church. Yeah, if we don't win this, guys are done. It's just, it's over. It's over for guys. You have a parcel that has been delivered. Okay.

Oh. Parceling. You have a parcel? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, I'm on the wrong account. Oops. Oh, damn it. Uh, this one.

Okay. Here we go. My rage is he's not in any pain when talking about an old, dying, obviously dying dog. Oh. I've had dogs die before. The last dog that died, he basically shriveled up. My parents just let him shrivel up into a fucking skeleton. Yeah.

Shitting himself onto a towel. Yeah, it's horrible. My other dog is not doing fucking well. He has a fucking open wound the size of a fucking golf ball on his neck. It's got like cancer. It's coming out from the... It bleeds. It smells.

Put the dog down. We're trying to get it frozen off. But at the same time, the dog is walking around confused. Put the fucking dog down! It's sitting in weird spots. Put it down, it's dead! Did you hear the story about my man told at the festival? No. Oh my god.

We were dealing with another... My family had to put down a dog last week. Really? So I didn't mention this story. Wait, they had another one? Yeah, my sister's dog. Oh, one, oh, I thought they were relatively young. Well, they were, but the Labradoodle,

it got hit with, I was, it got hit with a massive seizure. Oh shit. Like a stroke seizure, and then it was tripping out, and it went, in like 12 hours, it went from totally normal to couldn't, like total attack, a taxi, and then it was tripping out and it went in like 12 hours it went from totally normal to Couldn't like total attack seek a taxi. I couldn't get up like Yeah, totally totally fucked up took a good mind gone. There's no medication that can stop the oh no I had like a stroke. I looked up the disease. It was like LeFroy disease or something. I know what it was Scotch yeah, it was some kind of it was. LeFroy, it's like a scotch.

Yeah, it was some kind of, it was every single thing it hit. Oh my God. And Labradoodles are like, their minds are, they're prone to like epilepsy and stuff. Yeah, they're saving the breeding and yeah. So I just briefly mentioned that when I was hanging out with my man

at the festival in San Diego. And he started telling this story. He's like, oh yeah, that reminds me of a story of my family. He was telling this story about a sister-in-law of the family. Was arguing with his parents about this dog they had. They had to put it down. She's like, take it to a vet.

You gotta take this dog to a vet. There's nothing wrong with it. And I said, there's a bunch of chicks around drinking. I said, hey, stop telling the story. Right, it's because I know you. This is not- I know your family. This is gonna get terrible.

Yeah, and he goes, oh, you have no idea how bad it gets. And I'm like, you're right, stop telling the story. Yeah, stop. So for like another five, there's like six girls, another five minutes, he's just sitting there and I can't see his fucking thing going. And one of them said, one of them said something like, oh, at least we don't have to hear the end of that story.

And he leaned over to me and he goes, oh, my brother broke the dog's neck in the bathtub. It was like the most awful thing shocking, shocking delivery Like you know when someone has all this trauma they're like kind of tripping to get in and out Like all the girls left even his girlfriend's like I'm leaving that's enough for me. I don't want to hear it My brother broke the dog's neck. Oh my god What are you talking about? the dogs and that's like oh my god what are you talking about oh jeez I'm glad you didn't tell that in time to glad you didn't tell an entire story with that as the end right hey today my girlfriend learned that he's a

professor of public speaking to vote in the district that you reside in okay voting with her friend oh yeah wait This is the new bit today. My girlfriend learned. Mm-hmm. Let me start this over Okay, ah There we go deck today my girlfriend learned that you have to vote in the district that you reside in she wanted to go voting with her friends and The voting districts and I had to tell her like you can't vote with your friends because of that reason and she kept asking why.

Why? So because you don't live there. Right. Why? That's disappointing. Yeah. Don't they just get all the votes and count them? Yeah.

No. You gotta go where it is. All right. It is. Okay. Good job. But also you shouldn't have told her that. Just let her go vote where her vote doesn't matter. Let her just see if they'll be like...

Yeah. Here, fill this out. This is a practice ballot. Fill it out and you go vote wherever you want. Hey, Dick. This is Scar, AKA the guy that you brought up on the biggest problem for being his girlfriend because they had some tween fun.

Yeah. Well, I have something to say. Okay. My big rage here is whenever I was in school, I would hear, oh, why did you draw that dick in balls? why did you draw that dick in balls why did you graffiti that dick in balls where were you here all the time now to take in balls uh-huh let me tell you lady I'm never ever gonna tell you what never gonna get out of dick in balls because you'll never get it never get there

will never be a fucking male counselor that'll ever go up to a little kid that drew a dick and balls and was like why did you do this? Cuz he knows yeah for some reason I talk to you back Look, no matter where I go to everyone's like well. Why did you draw dick and balls? Because a dick and balls is funny. Why the fuck would you ever even like try to stop? Yeah, women love that. Why'd you do this? Yeah.

Why did you fuck that girl? What are you talking about? What kind of question is that? You guys stop asking why all the time. Dick, I wish I had realized, let's see, a million years ago that something you said, I think you said this before, women do not have real conversations with information in them. You have to ask every question three times.

You have to confirm everything three times. You have to navigate around just the waves of nonsense in order to get the information you want. No wonder the economy is half in the toilet. The work is not getting done. People are sending 20 emails to get one question answered. What time do we have to leave for dinner? Well, dinner's at 7.30 and I was gonna start getting ready. Ugh. What time do we have to leave for dinner? Well, I was saying, I think, I mean, it's scheduled for 7.45. I figure we show up at 7.30.

You know, we're gonna meet Betsy there. She's pregnant. Has been for three weeks. She got pregnant at 2.45, fifth day of March. Yeah. pregnant, has been for three weeks. She got pregnant at 2.45, fifth day of March. Yeah. So this is psychologically speaking, this is true from what I've read and people that I've talked to. There's a fundamental difference between men and women.

Yeah. Is that all that stuff that you just verbalized is done in a man's head. Right. And women verbalize the entire thought process. That's what an AI does. That's why it has to give those big preambles. That is a very consistent difference between men and women. One of many.

Yeah. I'm gonna answer it to myself. 645 was the information you're looking for. Yeah, I'm going to answer it to myself. 645 was the information you're looking for. Okay. Andrew from UD North. For real, the Dick Show, Shawn's Guitar Talk, the new Ultra 2 Tele. I had an Ultra Tele, I sold it.

This one, I'm keeping it. Gotcha. The forearm cut's great. I don't want to, I buy a guitar, I don't want to change anything. Yes, I can change the control plate so that the selector switch is at an angle. I can buy one from a company where like the volume now

has moved down a little bit. I don't want to do that. I want to just have it come from the factory like that. This one does. It's actually a pretty fucking good guitar. And the new Noisles pickups, pretty damn good. Pretty damn fucking good. So I ain't changing a goddamn thing.

Texas T Bay, Texas fucking T. There you go. Got a divorce, now he's just doing guitar stuff all day. You know, I've never owned a Tele. That's the, I love them, but he's talking about a Fender Telecaster, for anybody. From what I understand, I haven't bought a new guitar in forever, but I guess Fender is making some incredible shit. As bad as what Gibson is doing nowadays, Fender is the opposite.

So I guess they're making some really cool, and their cheap shit is really good from what I understand. Okay. Hey, Dick. Thanks for your time. Yo. Okay Hey, big. Hey, Sean. Yeah what makes me rage is when you have a problem and You're either telling someone about it Maybe not even by your choice Maybe they asked about what your problem was and you're telling them what the like your situation and they ask they tell you some Stupid ass shit or they ask you some dumb ass question like how'd you do that? I

Don't fucking know I knew maybe I would be having this fucking problem right now you got to give us some specifics yeah would they fucking like if you lose something yeah or it's a lot of time you put it oh what was my family had it I don't fucking know you think yeah yeah yeah it's real what did you actually do though. I don't fucking know you think yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's real What did you actually do though? Cuz I don't think it was losing something. Mm-hmm You know, I think I was impregnating a hooker cuz you thought you could fuck her While she was sitting up got it and you had no problem. Got it Yo, my rage is Shawn

He teases the guitar And then he just fucking is Sean, he teases the guitar talk corner and then he just fucking goes to the guitar. Yeah, but I did it. I knew I had to do it today. I need it. You had to do it, man. I worked with the Back to the Future solo guy. Oh shit.

Yeah. Yeah, that's funny that, that's the only reason I told that story. Yeah. Because, because I had something to add to it. Oh, that's a good story. Hey man, so I'm in the Army and I just went up to Asheville. You're welcome.

For the hurricane response and honestly, it didn't do a whole lot because we got there like a week and a half later. And that's exactly the point. So what Josh said, this most recent episode about Elon saying you could cut like 90% of FEMA's budget and no one would notice. It's 100% fucking true. Because like all of the operations that were going on, like a week plus post hurricane, it's all private organizations. Like we showed up there, not really having a job. So we just

walked over and... Inefficient. Makes sense. ...helped out with these organizations. And despite what some moron will tell you, they aren't mega corporations trying to get their kickbacks because apparently some people are under that depression. But these were like- Oh yeah, they're trying to fuck over all the- You know, decently sized companies-

Hurricane people? That are like-minded people who just wanted to get back to their community. Like one of the coolest ones that I worked with was just, it was a company started up by private helicopter pilots. And they're like, well, the only way you can get, you know, supplies and aid in an area is with helicopters. So these people flew in from across the country, out of pocket, on their own dime and just made shit happen. Sure. There are people who do that. With FEMA, I respect it. I watched this firsthand because I've worked on the air cruise with some of these people instead of being like, hey

We appreciate what you guys are doing. What can we do to help? How can we make this smoother? Yeah, fucking cocksuckers show up and they're like You guys are impeding our operation. You are not doing this in accordance with And it's like, excellent work guys This is why the entire country fucking hates you And this is why if Trump gets into the office You guys are gonna get gutted Yeah, you're getting gutted

You're gonna be on the fucking straight Shit's very interesting Yeah, I'm sure they're fat as fuck God damn Oh, you'd fire so many people. Come on, man. Don't fuck us again, Trump. Don't fuck us again!

You fucking idiot. You fucked us so hard the first time. Wow, that's a long show. Can you imagine that? Oh, it is? Alright, let's get out of here. 340! Let's get out of here. Alright, goodbye everybody. See ya, thanks.