The Dick Show - Episode 434

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

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Kamala Harris paid me to... paid for a sponsorship and they didn't like the ad. And they want their money back. And they didn't think anything was weird about getting asked for the money up front. Thank God I did! Thank God I asked for that money up front! I knew they were gonna steal it from me like they stole the election. Fucking jerks.

Just an honest, hard-working, middle-of-the-road centrist over here trying to make... Trying to... Hahahaha! How dare they? You know? I didn't read the whole thing. You didn't read the whole thing? Here's the part. We strongly recommend... I think so. We should be.

I already read the whole thing and the biggest problem. Vito left. He did? Yeah, he left when I was reading it. Did he come back? No, he just walked off the show and left Really? Have you talked to him? No, I don't think so. I don't know. I got pretty drunk on Friday. Oh boy. I had the worst Man strip clubs are done Yeah, they're done, bro Man, strip clubs are done. Yeah, they're done, bro. They're fucking done. Where is the live show? Here we go. There's John breaks bad news. My man, John breaks bad news. What are you guys looking at in here? Gay stuff? Yeah, probably.

Books. Books. Yep, I knew it. I knew it. Gay stuff. Oh man. We strongly recommend that you either give us our money back. What does it say? That you either consider redoing this sponsorship segment in a different video or a community post or refunding the sponsorship. Yeah, dip dip dip dip. Alright, there it's working.

Yes! Man, everything, Sean, we replaced a computer without a hitch. You know? You had to say it. Why'd you say that? It's going perfectly. It's going absolutely perfectly. It's the kiss of death. Nothing can go wrong. It's wonderful. We're running upgraded Pro Tools for the first time in probably five years. You know? Wow. Isn't that crazy? I don't have to go click on that little thing, remind me tomorrow, every day rest of my life Yeah, it's a update can just update willy-nilly sweet. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, I keep thinking something's wrong cuz I see this old busted jalopy closed and I'm like, oh my god Are we not recording this show? Yeah Everything's working though. Oh boy. That's a you know, can't hear you. Yeah. Yeah I tell you who's not working is any of the strippers in Los Angeles, and I mean really working out Is what I mean this is yeah fat women no tits and no ass can you believe it? Imagine sort of a morphous blob like a child's drawing like fat in all the wrong places Oh fat in every which way, but loose that's what the fat in every which way, but right No, you got some fat chicks in there. Yeah, it was off the tongue for a new feature right every which way but right. Oh, you got some fat chicks in there? Yeah!

It kind of wears off the tongue for a new feature, right? Every which way but fat. Yeah. Every which way but tits. I don't know how to say it. Fat every which way. Fat every which way. Isn't that, wasn't that the Clint Eastwood movie with the orangutan?

Every which way but loose? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I was at, who knew he was such a racist in had old movies. I don't think he's a racist Yeah, that's what they all say. Is he still alive? Yeah, ah, that's good Yeah, I think is I think his mom was alive like up to like a couple years ago She was really she was like a hundred or some shit like man that guy's gonna live forever

My mom's parents lived really old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So maybe like how old there's a chance in their nineties, nineties. Yeah. That's that's old. I mean, you know, a lot of people, you get in like your early eighties, you're like, Oh, that's better than the life expectancy. That's the print. But then when you start getting upper eighties, upper eighties, low nineties, you're like, Ooh, that's 65. Honestly, it would be a fucking miracle for you. Yeah. Yeah. I get 65 and we're like, Oh, that's. 65, honestly, it would be a fucking miracle. For you? Yeah.

Yeah. I get 65 and we're like, whew. Yeah. I'm on borrowed time. Now I'm going to roll you start cutting loose. There you go. Look at this guy. I mean, what do you want?

He gave a peace sign after threatening me to steal my $500. Really? For doing an ad read. Is it $500 an episode? Is that what the? Yeah. And you've what the... Yeah. And you've done one?

Yeah. I wanted to squeeze us in before the election. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. This wasn't... We didn't do a good job. Oh no, come on, let's get a lose now. Is this about the show on Friday? Yeah.

When did you just get... Yeah, we don't do, Sean, I don't do ads on my podcast. I don't know if you know that. Yeah, but you did didn't you well back? That's our that's me and veto show I don't do ads on my podcast. You know what I'm saying. Yes Yes No, but this is in reference to the biggest problem from two days ago two Fridays ago. Oh from two Friday Okay, this Friday's ago Right about what you talk about what's important. Yeah, you talked That was a good ad. Right. Talk about what's important.

Yeah, you talked about what a good ad it was. I know. Yeah. I'm the one reading the ad, so I'm the expert. There you go. Not fucking Dick Brain McGee paying for the ad. There you go. They don't know shit about ads

or they'd be doing the ads, right? I mean, you know. Yeah, I'm the expert here. But they don't have a special podcast. They'd have to have a good show. So then a guy hit me up and he's like, hey, I heard you talking about that stuff about the DNC and, you know, paying you and then doing stuff. What organization gave you the money and what was it for? Because it sounded like you were confused who was paying you. I was like, yeah, I was fucking confused. Emails are coming from this organization. Links are going to this organization.

I don't know what the fuck, I don't know what to plug, to be honest. And he goes, oh yeah, so they might be violating campaign finance laws. Would you feel comfortable giving me the info? And I'm like, yeah, here, here's all of it. And he's like, do you want me to keep you anonymous? And I'm like, what is your guys' fucking problem

with keeping me anonymous? Do I have like a fucking sign on my head that says this guy does not want attention? Because all my behavior leading up to right now says the opposite of that! Let me clue you the fuck in! I never want to be kept anonymous! Never in my fucking life! Why do you default to that? Does something about my performance indicate that I'm gonna hold back if you put my name on it? Yeah. yeah.

No, in all caps, I do not wanna be kept anonymous. Put the link to my fucking show. Put the fucking link to my show saying racist, misogynist, homophobic, whatever you wanna fucking say. Here, go to this guy's website, thebiggestproblemintheuniverse.com. He's got a quote generator of my greatest hits. Use any of those all over the article, okay?

What business do you think I'm in? Fuck! Yeah. I mean. Do you want us to say the name of your burger restaurant? Yeah. In the article we're writing about burgers? Why would I want that?

Why would I want people to know about my burger restaurant? Because a lot of people find out that they only want to be notorious to some extent. Ha ha ha ha! I had a pirate costume reading a fucking email of getting threatened by the DNC, OK? What makes you think I'm half in? Right.

God damn it! Give me the fucking link for once! I would like credit for something! Presenting Dick! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Hello Dick. What's up buddy, how you doing? Oh, I'm doing. How you doing? Thank you everybody, thank you for not killing yourselves. It's going to be a close one. It's going to be a close one, Sean. Tuesday and then we got to wait four years to vote for Trump again. Yeah, right.

Forever, Trump forever. 2028, 2032, Trump forever. Oh God. I hope you voted. I hope everybody at home voted. Never! Oh God! I hope you voted. I hope everybody at home voted. I hope you took your friends because it's going to be a close one. It's going to be a close one.

Let me get, I'm taking, I've been taking shit all week for this. Let me get my, I need my Halloween candy down here. Can you bring me my? Oh yeah. Can you bring me my Halloween candy, please? My cheapness was tested this week. You got some good candy? You know what? Bring me my Halloween candy, please. My cheapness was tested this week. You got some good candy?

You know what, I've got some great candy and I've been getting shit for it nonstop. It just so happened to be the cheapest candy at the Mexican store down the street. You don't have fucking Smarties, do you? I wish I had some. Please tell me you don't have Smarties. I had this bag and I looked around

for just a bag of Smarties. Like eating slightly flavored chucks. Somehow they make it with sugar and it tastes like aspartame. Sean! I don't know how they can make a real sugar candy taste like it's a diet candy. Thank you. I've been getting shit for this candy because last year we had a big fight. Because 80's girl picked up the candy and she bought two giant bags of delicious, of like the best candy possible. I already see things I don't like. Haha, and it was like 35 bucks.

Like why are you spending, why are we getting too big? And then she's handing it out by the handful to the kids. Yeah. What are you, what's one? Save some for three Halloweens from now, Jesus. Exactly, exactly, I got candy that will last until the nuclear apocalypse. That a rock hard tootsie roll.

Clean those teeth out kids. You know what? Look, this is good ass candy. I love tootsie rolls, Clean those teeth out, kids. You know what? Look, this is good ass candy. I love tootsie rolls, but they do not age well. It just happened to be 12.99. Yeah. It's, as you can see here. It's called child's play.

It's called child's play, okay? Why is it all wet? Someone's trying to flush it down the toilet, I bet. And it's, as you can see here on the label, it says on the front, it's three and one quarter pounds of fun. The extra quarter pound is, you know,

where the money's at. Three and a quarter pounds of fun. And there's good stuff in here. Are those all Tootsie Rolls? It's mostly Tootsie Rolls. Right, because there's a different Tootsie Roll flavors, which a lot of people aren't aware of. It's mostly Tootsie Rolls and a fruit chew.

There's no chocolate. There's nothing chocolate in here. I mean, Tootsie Roll's supposed a fruit chew. There's no chocolate. There's nothing chocolate in here. Nothing resemb- I mean, Tootsie Rolls supposed to kind of be chocolate. Resembles chocolate. It's a chocolate by-product. There's Tootsie Pops, dots out here. She refused to give it out

because she didn't want to be embarrassed handing this over to children. I mean, because I like Tootsie Rolls, I don't hate it. Yeah, the Tootsie Fruit Chews. This is not- 3 1⁄4 pounds of fun. Oh, you got to- I used to love these. It's great stuff. Look, the Tootsie fruit chews. This is not- 3 and a quarter pounds of fun. I still love these. It's great stuff. Look, here's the thing. Tootsie Puffs. So the whole thing is Tootsie Rolls. Everybody's giving away good stuff, right? I'd be fine with it. Everybody's giving away good stuff, but there's the kid who wants the Tootsie

Roll and nobody's giving out the Tootsie Rolls. So that's why I've got- I want the Tootsie Rolls. You gotta have a mix. You gotta have a mix of some crummy cheap candy and the good candy. If there was a bag of Smarties of the story, what would you spot that? You just can't forget to eat them. You gotta eat Tootsie Rolls first or they'll break your teeth.

This thing's staying in the house in the cupboard for the next five years. It is all wet. Did the dog piss on it or something? I don't know. I don't know. Probably mouthing it. We had the big talk that everyone's been dreading in my family for probably since the boys were born.

My nephews were born. Yeah. Came up at dinner. We were all at dinner celebrating my, celebrating me and my birthday. Not Santa Claus. No, not Santa Claus. They're probably hip to that now, right?

I mean. I guess you said, I don't, yeah, they're, yeah, definitely. They're not stupid. Yeah, well suppose you said, yeah, definitely. They're not stupid. Yeah, well, I mean, but one of them might still be of an age where you can not. I don't think so. But the older ones ruin it for the younger ones anyway. Yeah.

It's really fucking, isn't it crazy? Like the whole concept of Santa Claus and then like, oh, we've been lying to you the whole time. It was just, it was a fun lie. Yeah, it is kind of an IQ test, right? It's kind of weird, right? If you figure it out, cause then you have to, you get to lie to your sibling.

Kind of, you're like complicit in it. Yeah, I mean- Aren't you? Well, because you're- You can't ruin it. Can't ruin it. That'd be kind of a dick move. It's just a weird, it's kind of a weird thing.

Cause my sister and I are like five years apart. So for me ruining it, that'd be like, that would be really fucked up I guess. That's true, you guys are a lot... You still get the toys. I don't know why it's supposed to be better to be honest. What? For... Like there's an entity flying around giving you presents instead of just... Like I don't give a shit where the presents come from as long as there's presents.

Because kids... I mean part of the thing why it's cool when you're a kid is because kids fantasy and reality intertwine when you're a- Oh, does that stop at some point? I mean, yeah, to some extent. Really? I mean, although you look around, maybe not, but- Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, well, yeah, that's the truth,

but it's supposed to stop. Yeah. If everything goes well, it should stop. So we're all sitting around at dinner and my sister says, oh, I met somebody who worked on Dr. Phil. And I said, oh, my brother was on Dr. Phil. And she said, and then as soon as she said it,

she went, oops. Oh boy. And then her friend said, oh, is he on a guest or an expert? Mm-hmm. And she goes, both. I didn't know how to,

and I said, obviously expert. Right. What are you talking about? A guest or expert. Right. And then the little boy goes, I didn't know how to, I said, obviously expert, what are you talking about? I guessed her expert. And then the little boy goes, what do you mean uncle was on Dr. Phil? Oh no. And they know how to use the internet. I don't think so.

I'm looking for like Roblox and stuff. Oh really? They catfish pedophiles on there to get free Robux, you know. Well, you know, don't have a hobby. I said, what do you mean Uncle's on Dr. Phil? I said, well, you know how Uncle behaves, right? Like, you know, like a jerk with people. Yeah, right.

And he said, yeah. Like, all right, I was doing that on TV. Yeah. Like all over the world, people watch. Right, and they're like. I was turning it to the audience, they're like, you can do that? Really?

Yeah. Is he lying like usual? No. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, I was like, uh. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah Here we go Yeah, we go Cancel the phones. My cheapness was really tested this week

really Not with the candy not with the case was an obvious one. Yeah, I I don't think it's that bad No, it's look it's look at this. I could reach in and pull it out something great. It's what I don't think it's that bad. No, it's... Look, it's... Look at this. I could reach in and pull out something great without even thinking about it. It's one of those cases... Not that one, but I could reach in again and pull out something great. Right.

That's a roll. There you go. See, because you tend to think, like, number one, that you're going to get judged by the candy you hand out when there's like... The last time I looked, there are houses to the left of you up and down, you know, down the street and to the right of you up and down. It's like, look, it's one house.

It's one house. It's one house. Just relax, okay? These aren't like poor kids with nothing to eat. And your odds of being the worst house. There's no way you could be the worst house with that. Well, I might be in the running. Somebody's given out a toothbrush.

You know, we went to the, we went to the, there's like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a I've always called it the Be By Yourself Center, because that's what my fucking nephew called it. Transcendental meditation.

Yes, yeah, transcendental meditation. Some Hare Krishna shit where they believe in reincarnation and stuff. Do they believe in that? I thought it was just more like a, is that part of it? I thought it was like, I know Elvis was into it. Like a lot of people have been into it.

Ringo was into it, or not Ringo, George Harrison was into it, I think. Well, he was into, that was, he might have dabbled in that, but like Harrison was into it, I think. Well, he was into... Yeah, well, that was... That was different. He might have dabbled in that, but like, he was more like... Yeah. What? Like Indian, you know, like even... This is an Indian thing.

Is it? I thought it was a... Yes. Transcendental medicine? It's Indian as fuck, man. Is it? Oh, yeah. Is this a different thing we're talking about? They don't even have... no toilet paper.

Oh. No toilets in the whole thing. No toilets. Yeah, it's Indian. There's two of them. There's one here and there's one in like the Pacific Palisades. Yeah. The other one's an old movie. They're like beautiful grounds. And the people there are very friendly. I know. That's, yeah, yeah.

My sister saw it and she was all worried. She's like, you live next to a cult. No. Right? And I said, what did you see? And she goes, there's guys walking around with hats. They all have the same hats. Oh, really? And I said, can did you see? And she goes, there's guys walking around with hats. They all have the same hats. And I said, can you describe the hats? She said, yeah, they're cylindrical, and they were going straight up like a foot. And I was like, oh, those are called chefs.

I don't know if you have never seen that before, but that's called a chef. They don't wear fucking hats at the Hare Krishna Center. They wear robes, which is a little, you know, you could get away with a robe, but as soon as you start incorporating hats. So we walked over there for Halloween. Yeah.

And- Were they giving out candy? I don't know. They, we got shunned. Do you have a gates open, really? We got shunned by the cult. They had the gates open and there was like a little thing of pumpkins, like immaculately carved pumpkins and stuff. Like the good ones, you know, that they're like scraping,

the scraping them. Where you have like, well, yeah, you have a lot of tools. I kind of hate that they figured out how to do that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. So they carve it, you know. So they light up differently, right? Yeah, I get it.

You actually get like halftone and stuff. You get, yeah, gradation. Yeah, I don't like it. I like the old, you know, I would never have the patience for that. Smiley face. Yeah. So we go on this little tour. Okay. I don't like it. I like the old, you know, I would never have the patience. Yeah So we go on this little tour. Okay

Little little route looking at the pumpkins and we don't get we don't get any kind of offers of salvation No, like hi. How you doing by the cult people? Yeah, and they're going up to I'm like, okay, here we go We're gonna get hit up by the cult people right because they hit up the people in front of us Oh really with like with like a literature or something? Yeah, and like how's it going? You know that look that somebody has when they hit up to people in front of us. How you doing? Oh, with like a literature or something? Yeah, and like, how's it going? You know that look that somebody has when they're trying to sell you something? Sure. Hi, how's it going?

Like nobody says hi, how you doing? So I'm like, oh, here we go. Guy comes over. As they're walking up to you, that's the difference. They're actually taking a step forward while they're saying that as opposed to just like standing there like, hey, how you doing? Like allowing you to to pass. It's like you're gonna have to deal with me So they get the people in front of us and I'm like, oh girding myself or here we go

Yeah, and the guy looks at us and he goes to the next people. Oh, hi Hey, you know I said what the fuck did we just get we just get passed over like just stands it a fucking at the Cult you just had a look probably. I get the- Cause I'm top evolution, I'm reincarnation. Like anytime I'm around where like Scientology's, I've never been handed, they just go, I don't know, there's something very judgmental about that guy.

Yeah, I don't think he's gonna work on you. I don't think, yeah, I don't think he's gonna like this. No, the last time we went there, just for fun, to see what they're up to. Yeah, I like to see what the you know Yeah, it's in my neighborhood are up to it is transcendental meditation, right? Yeah, there's something called like that It's reincarnation shit is it and they go so I walked in and there's a lady at the desk And I'm like, oh, yeah. Okay. What's so what's going on here? And she goes, oh, we're talking about this, this, and reincarnation. And I said, oh, reincarnation?

You're doing, you guys, you guys are doing reincarnation? And she goes, yeah, well, you know, you don't wanna come back as like, you know, something like a bug or something. And I'm like, ah, you know, I think that's a, I think that's a metaphor. I don't think you're coming, do they teach you that? I think that's a metaphor. I don't think you're coming. Do they teach you that? I think that's uh...

You know, there's literalists and right, I mean... Can I get an adult over here? This woman has it all messed up, I think. Anyway, what was I talking about? Halloween, the talk about Dr. Phil... Candy, my cheapness. Your cheapness. You know that rat problem we had? Yeah.

It's dead. Oh. The rat's dead, I killed it. You did, with a trap? Yeah, where was he? Where'd you catch him? Messing with my speakers. Yeah, because he was in the house, right?

Yeah. So I was like, okay, that's done. You know, that's done and done. No more rat issues, right? Well, what they say for like every one you hear or see, there's like 30 a day. I know, but I fixed everything. I made that number up, but there's something like crazy.

It's not possible to get anymore. Yeah, yeah. I go to fire up the grill and make some chicken. Oh yeah. Turn the grill on. I'm like, all right, let it heat up. Smells like burning fur. I open it up to put the meat on.

No. And it's like filled with rat shit. Oh no! It's the most disgusting. What the fuck were they doing in there? Having a big orgy and eating all the cheese that was burnt on the grill, I don't know. How'd they get up in there?

I mean, I guess I- Because I once left the grill on and it burned a hole in the heat shield so you could climb up and in. It was- Oh, full of rat shit. Full of rat shit and it had been cooking for 10 minutes and I said, I'll never use this barbecue again. I said, uh, did you do it? Cause it's been cooking for 10 minutes?

I think I could clean this. Uh, it just grosses me out. Uh, I don't know about that. Am I buying a new grill for this? Or am I gonna clean it? I got the grates out and I start cleaning it. I'm like, I don't know about this. It's just the idea to me is disgusting.

It's too much. I scraped them off and I'm like, no, that's it. No, I gotta get new stuff. I'm not cooking on, I'm not cooking on red shit grill. I can't believe they got out there and shuttled over the place. That was the limit to my cheapness. Wow.

Well, I mean, a grill's not a small purchase. Well, I just bought like a bunch of parts. And the parts ended up being almost as much as the new I had to replace the heat, replace all the things. Yeah. Yeah. You guys just just got under the line of getting a new one. Yeah, it's like those uh, it's like these microphones. Yeah to replace, for a flat feet. For a flat feet. You can refurbish it. Yeah, exactly. Because the foam dries out and cracks and then starts shaking. Yeah, it's like, and a little bit more gets you a brand new mic. For 4.19 though, brand new one. Uhhhhhh.

Guys really know what you're doing. Okay, speaking of rodent news, the US government has killed a famous squirrel. Oh. George Floyd for white people. Oh. Because we don't have a Harambe. Harambe wasn't nobody's pet. That's a porn, some sort of a man,

porn man who had an animal sanctuary. He raised a baby squirrel from when it was a baby and it was abandoned by its parents in a forest fire or something. He got a baby squirrel. I didn't know you could do this. You could just live with a baby squirrel and it grows up and it's fine.

People do. Yeah, I didn't know that. It's like, he's got all these videos of this fucker jumping around and like climbing all over him and doing like train pet shit. Yeah. The government decided to go in and arrest them. This is what they're after.

And then kill the squirrel. Euthanize, euthanize. Yeah, euthanize the pet squirrel. And they're claiming like, they're claiming that it had rabies and they had to test it for rabies. You know, says you know squirrels are notorious carriers of rabies.

Well, I mean, they are. They're not. What? They're not, no. Squirrels get rabies. They can, but, they are. They're not! What? They're not! No! Squirrels get rabies. They can, but not usually. They can, it's not-

Never with humans. There's no squirrel-human rabies transmissions. Yeah, I mean- It's all bigger animals, like raccoons and coyotes and shit and bats. But I mean, but they can, yeah, they can get rabies. Yeah, they can get them. Yeah, but clearly-

They usually don't, because they're tiny. And you can also- Pets never get it, they can get them. Yeah, but clearly they usually don't. Well, yeah, and you can also Pets never get it. You can also tell Because it's going crazy. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, they don't act right So that happened They said we have to kill it to test it for rabies. Yeah, they arrested the people. Oh, what do you know? Yeah, no rabies. No rabies. Sorry. Yeah Pretty crazy, right? Oh, what do you know? People. Yeah. Oh, no rabies. No rabies. Sorry. Yeah.

Pretty crazy, right? Yeah. You think they could somebody's going like you guys couldn't have waited like a week to do this. People aren't really very hype on like getting their pets killed by the government. No. You know? No.

Kind of like, kind of like justifies everything that they're talking about. There was there was one. I think there was a place in Florida. You know how like they've got the invasive Burmese python problem. Yeah. And they went into this guy's place and they said, you know,

basically we're euthanizing all these pythons that are all illegal. Okay. And they also euthanized like some other snakes that were perfectly legal to have. One of which was like a breeding snake, a breeding like boa worth like thousands of dollars that was pregnant. What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

What are they doing? It's like, you don't go up and ask, you know, it's like this one looks different than all the others. What do you think, what is the scam with having a little squirrel running around your house? Why do you need the government involved at all? Yeah, I know. Why is your why does your entire department exist? If this is what got you to the coin toss, why does anything that you did matter?

Why do we need any of it? Don't know. I don't know. I read that Ron Paul requested to be part of Elon Musk's government firing agency, you know, that he's doing. The Department of Government Efficiency. Yeah, sure. Elon says he's just gonna go and fire everybody. Oh, okay.

Right? Sure. Right? Why not? Give him the money. Just give him a big thermometer. They've been hiring people for years. And every time Elon fires somebody, put their salary on the big fucking fundraising thermometer, and he just gets to keep the cash. Right?

Fire as many people as you want, and we'll take their salary and we'll put the little numbers in your bank account, we'll just plus them up. Right? Because it doesn't matter anyway. Four trillion dollars? Fine. Who cares? You get one year, go nuts like a shopping spree, going around to everybody there, you're

fucking fired, you're fucking fired, fuck you, you you you're fucking fired every single one give it all to him Ron Paul says he wants to be part of that okay, and I read it in the car, and I started to cry Oh, I was like you're kidding me after all these years After all these years there's a chance. I'm gonna start crying again after all these years There's a chance that Ron Paul is gonna get what we thought was impossible for him to ever do. I'm running for president, because I'm gonna fire everyone, the government's fucked.

You know what, Ron? A lot of people liked Ron Paul. I loved Ron Paul! Oh my god! We're voting for you, we're gonna watch your videos and tell everybody about you. But as we know, it's never gonna happen. We know you're never gonna get near the government. We know that's never gonna happen. And then I see his little bling.

Hey, Ron Paul, I'd like to be part of the government firing thing. Yeah, sure. What? You mean after all this time? Even supporting your fucking son, who's not as... It took a long time to tolerate him. He's not as good as you. Now we're on... Where now I don't care anymore.

I can't even tell anymore. Love him now. Not as much as you. But love him still. After all this time, you're telling me there's a chance Ron Paul's gonna get to go in there and fire somebody at the government?

Oh my God! That would be amazing. That would be fucking amazing oh my girlfriend goes why are you crying I'm reading this story about a dog that was saved from a forest fire unfortunately he was rabid he's gonna pull through oh you wouldn't get it He just wouldn't get it honey. I'm sorry. You don't know how long you're not long. We've waited for this Might have been fake news though. I don't know I mean but

Sean you don't know what this means to us. You don't know what this means to our people. I'm happy for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Um...let's see what else. Here. Yeah, Ron Paul. Shitty Halloween. Oh, the Vatican's got a new mascot. Did you see this?

Oh boy. The jokes just write themselves, don't they? Dude... Oh my god! You know Bob's Burger? Yeah, Bob's Burgers. You know how Jimmy Pesto is at January 6th? Yeah. Which by the way is now is totally vindicated if the government's going around killing pet squirrels. I mean, yeah, I mean it's kind of hard, it's like, well Trump tried to overthrow the government. Yeah, the government's killing everyone's pets. So, good. That's too bad that he failed. To be honest. Was he gonna get rid of the guys that are killing squirrels?

Well then do it again. Well, I don't, yeah, I don't want the government in the pet business. Well, they are! I know. You either get no government or government in the pet business. They're in the everything business. You got a, I don't know if this story is true either, You either get no government or government in the pet business. They're in the everything business. You got a, I don't know if this story is true either.

There was some, they're saying it was some woman in like an animal rights group. You know, these women, these women that are like, uh, saviors, they're so, they're so white saviors. It's black people are not, are even too much for them. They have to go all the way down. They have to save animals. Like they're obsessed. They're the ones that go around to cars where the windows, you know, halfway open

and they're like, yeah, someone's gotta do something. They just sit there going, somebody's gotta do something. Somebody's gotta do something. Somebody's gotta do something. Somebody's gotta do something about this dog in the car, right? Yeah. And there's Facebook is rotten with them,

riddled with these women that sit around and obsess about abuse of animals that are fine. I mean, yeah, people do stupid things with animals. They do stupid things with their kids, you know? But not everything is abuse as they see it. Yeah, allegedly one of these women in the groups called the department and said, hey, there's a squirrel that this guy's got.

Oh, really? You gotta go in there and kill it. PETA or something? Yeah, it's being abused. Okay, yeah, sure. You gotta go in there and kill it. PETA or something? Yeah, it's being abused. Okay, yeah, sure. You gotta go in there and do something. All right. Right, right you are, man.

We're gonna get right over there and kill that pet. Thank you, thank you. Thanks for letting us know. The internet's gonna ruin these people's lives, too. It's great. They got their, like, cause they're all bureaucrats, so all their information is out there. They're all like hardcore progressive, like, you know, shit bags.

What are we talking about again? The squirrel getting killed by the government. Yeah, here's their info. Here's all the address. Was it a state, like parks and rec? Yeah. You know what I mean, because they always go in and yeah. Let me see where it was.

It was the New York, New York Department of Environment something. Wildlife. The New York. Peanut the squirrel, oh no. Peanut the squirrel, bro. They fucking killed him and sent the raccoon. That's a fucking, that's an old fucking squirrel. I wasn't even allowed to feed my rescue horses breakfast or lunch.

I was sat there like a criminal after they interrogated, oh yeah, they interrogated his wife to figure out if she was an illegal immigrant. This is his wife. They're raiding my house. Well, I mean, she's from Europe, right? I mean, is that? Yeah, there's a, we really got to get rid of these European immigrants. They've been fucking up America since, you know, the 1600s.

Sure. Uh... Hahahaha! They got a search warrant, a judge signed up. What? What's going on with this stuff, man? The judge got assigned a search warrant for a squirrel and a raccoon. Uh-huh. You got too many cops and judges, bro. We got to get rid of them, and I don't mean fire. And then they took them and killed them.

Yup. Ugh. That's fucked they took them and killed them. Yep. Oh Yes fucked up Ron Paul's coming fucked up Ron Paul's coming for you guys. Um, oh, yeah, what was I? I don't know. Oh the Vatican thing. Oh, yes, the Vatican thing, right? They got a they got a little mascot now for the appeal to the kids What do you think of this thing? appeal to the kids. What do you think of this thing? Looks pretty cool right? Well from what I'm seeing I don't know let's see here. I don't know. It's got some kind of a stick. What is that? It's like a stick to keep away the pedophiles. Right the big cross. Yeah. Oh is that not working? Great okay. Okay.

Window capture's not working. Okay. I'll try it again. There we go. Look at this. Look at this beauty. What do you think, Sean? That's pretty cool. This guy, uh... This dude here is like, I don't know what the fuck this is. It's like a little anime man. Or a like, I don't know what the fuck this is.

It's like a little anime man or a woman, I guess, with a raincoat to keep the rain out of her hair. What's the staff? Is that a- I don't know what that stick's all about. It's not specifically like a Catholic thing, is it? It's a shepherd stick. It's gotta be. What's with the point?

What point? Well, I mean, it's gotta be. What's with the point? What point? Well, I mean, it's got a little prong coming off of it. It's like a stylistic choice? It's got little seashells in the eyes too. Uh-oh, a little freezerino there. Uh-oh. I don't know, Sven Stoffels. Got the beads and the crucifix, right?

Yeah, Sven Stoffels was on talking about his comic book, right? Two weeks ago? I don't know, you weren't here for that. No, no. And he said that in his comic, in the future, every like thing, every like entity, every government and non-governmental entity is a little icon, like a little chibi,

like a little anime guy. In his comic. Yeah, that's the future that's his dystopian future not two weeks later the Catholic Church releases this this little fucker is gonna be the Pope someday could be non a mascot and non-human can't keep his hands off it they busted him just like we're not rolling, right? Like, no photos been taken. Let me just get a little touch of this. It's a girl, by the way.

Oh, ooh. Yeah, ooh. Nevermind. Yikes, I didn't know it had gender roles. Across himself. Yeah, so that's cool. Yeah, okay, good. First I felt, first I felt like

kind of embarrassed for the church, but. Fuck it. Yeah, and I was like, I don't know. They're probably, honestly, they know what they're doing. Who am I to question the Catholic Church? They've been doing it a long time. They they got focus groups. I know what they're doing This is probably this is the right thing and Sven Stauffles says it's the right thing. Okay. Well then, you know Let's see Tucker Carlson said he was attacked by a demon. Sure. Uh-huh. Good. That's cool. Mm-hmm happens A smart guy it happens. He's a smart guy. It happens.

You gotta stay out of certain neighborhoods. Just how comfortable are you with your, with the, with the assurity that you were in fact attacked by a demon to come out and say that I was attacked by a demon? Well, it's just, you know, he's just- Pretty comfortable. Yeah, but he's just appealing to who he knows

will believe it. I guess that's a lot of people. Yeah, there's a- Pretty comfortable. Yeah, but he's just appealing to who he knows will believe it. I guess that's a lot of people. Yeah, there's a lot of people. A lot of people believe in angels. Yeah, I don't think I could say that though. I was attacked by a demon. No, nobody would believe you. But they believe him. Yeah.

Hmm. They're all faking it, I think. Yeah, no shit. Yeah. Yeah, let's see here. 31% of people trust their doctor. That's pretty good, actually. Yeah, sure. Doctors have been fucking around a lot, you know? Not even with the COVID and the trans

shit, but then they're just like, they always stick their nose into everything. Like, are you drinking too much? You know? Yeah, I mean, you know, that's your opinion. The doctor? Yeah, that's your opinion, doc. That's not really like a medical thing, you know? That's just like your opinion, man. Like, why don't you make a little medicine

to get around it then? What are we doing here? Well, you know- What are you trying to like manipulate? You're trying to fucking manipulate me, so now I gotta- Nobody wants to enable you anymore. You know, this medical system, they go,

shit, we can't, we gotta make sure that he thinks in the back of his mind that something- You shorten his life. You gotta plan out in me. Right. Now, so I'm now doubting you. Yeah, right. You're engaging my advertising defensive shield, right?

Instead of just like, yeah, you're drinking too much, obviously, like, obviously. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, what can we do to? But you don't need a doctor to tell you that. I don't need a doctor to tell me that. Yeah, you already know that. Yeah, I already know that.

Yeah, yeah. So now I don't trust, I don't trust your motivations here, right? That's what is it my well-being you're concerned with yeah, why does this cost so much? Yeah, why does what why does this shit cost so much? I don't know why cuz our people trust us cuz our health care system is a total fucking scam. Yeah They know it awful. Yeah, how it's How it's ranked. You guys fix it. I mean, this is your business. Yeah.

Right? Business is the key word. Yeah. I mean, isn't it? The whole system is... Yeah. The doctor. Dude, the whole system fucking kills people, frankly.

I'm going there to get seen by a doctor, not the nurses or that fat bitch behind the desk making me fill out forms And tell you you drink too much. Tell me I drink too much. So it's so you guys got to fix it Yeah, I don't know what's going on here how you lost how you lost control of this shit, but you did well I need to get some exert some control over it. You know somehow they're not big. They're not the ones with the deepest pockets But you can I mean you can do whatever you want. No one can question you I mean you guys get everybody under the knife eventually they can just stop people from seeing you They could just they got to be able to do something

It's no I guess the numbers too high then getting worse already 31% of people trust their is it do you? My doctor? Yeah. Yeah. Implicitly? Well, I mean... Gotcha, doc. Like, do you even see the same one? Yeah.

You do? Yeah, yeah. I have for years. I've never seen the same doctor ever. Well, it's because I... Because I pay out of pocket a reasonable rate to go see a doctor who I trust. You're getting the cash. The good doctor. I'm getting the shitheads.

Yeah. The insurance shitheads. Yep. Um, let's see here. I got D&D shit. D&D. Yeah. Cuba, here's an interesting one. Buh-buh. Oh, this one's good. This voting machine? Yeah, what about it? Here's a guy trying to vote.

Whoops. All right. Can you see it? Yeah, I can see it. I'm gonna turn it down a little bit. Okay. So you see there on the top is the Trump box, right? Is it? Yeah, and then the bottom is the Kamala box. Oops. So he's clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it.

Watch this. Clicking on it, clicking on it, click- What the fuck? That's real! That shit is real! Kamala lights up! Clicking on it, clicking on it, clicking on it, boink! Play that again. This is a Simpsons bit! That's insane. So this guy's recording himself voting on an election machine inside of the booth, right? And here he goes.

Normal finger. Now they have, because everything about these machines was designed incorrectly and wrong, every single part of the way they're processing and storing the data is wrong, they don't work at all, and the whole idea is stupid in the first place, and it was given to total retards to run. And because of that, you have things like this.

See how it looks like there's a little tiny checkbox in the corner that everyone sees as a checkbox and they probably used the HTML element of a checkbox to do it when it should be the entire box that's responsive to the touching right? Is that what ends up happening? Well I don't know I don't know because all I know is that people who are fucking dumb made these things and are maintaining these things and at the cost of like $200 million to even get them up to even fix the old ones. It should be the whole box.

Obviously the whole box! Yeah. Uh, okay. Clicking it? Yeah. Clicking Trump? Clicking Trump? It looks like he's going to the left of it, but like a little bit.

Well he's trying to click that goddamn little box, right? It looks like he's missing. But like, But it's got like a screen, you know? We're looking at it from the side, so. Oh no, I know, I can't, yeah. He's touching the conductive glass. It's like when a pop-up pops up on a porn site, and it's got that little itty bitty X

that's kind of off of the box of where it's supposed to be in, and you're like, well, should I touch the little box, or I click on the X? And you click it and it's like, oh, 10 more sites pop up. Just make it the box, yeah. There he goes here he goes and there it is. Kamala lights up. Green with the little checkbox see so you're so it is supposed to be that little fucking checkbox that you're supposed to click. I guess I don't know. Yeah I don't know. Because they outsourced it to India and who never

Indian programmers never once in the history of mankind have got a control correct. They're always using it in a weird way. Always. Oh, man. Okay. Okay, and there comes his ballot. What? Oh, did the-

So they said, uh, this was their response. Yeah, so they're like, hey, your, uh, your shit's all busted. What is this this right? County clerk yeah, yeah Hey, we had an incident today with somebody reporting one of the ballot marking devices malfunctioning We couldn't recreate it look now. That's I don't know what that I don't know what like the the guy like his tapping seems weird But he did like it did like I mean, I don't know

It looks like he's missing have you you ever seen a an any other? As an ATM ever done that? No, no, no, no. Well 500. Yeah, because it because an ATM is the whole box Yeah, yeah, cuz there's money involved in that. Yeah, I'm getting it. Correct. Yeah, it's it's it's not money involved in not getting things, correct We had an incident today with somebody reporting one of the ballot marking device malfunctioning. We checked it and couldn't make it recreate the incident report. Okay, now I know you're stupid because of the way you phrased that. So the person is first of all, I know plenty about bug reporting.

Alright? About what? Reporting bugs like this. Sure, sure. We couldn't recreate it. Yeah. Do it again. Yeah. Well, I know that's a thing.'t recreate it. Yeah. Do it again. Yeah. Well, I know that's a thing. Do it better. Yeah. Do it more better. In a studio, the shit never does it for the tech, you know, like.

Yeah. It's like, or the mechanic, or it's like, it will do it again. Oh, man. You've got to try tapping it all kinds of different ways. People have different fucking fingers. People have different size. People have different skin temperatures. I tried to do it exactly the way that I know it should work,

and it didn't fuck up, so what do you mean to do? I couldn't make it recreate the incident reported. See, I'm always looking for how is this bullshit. Oh, the machine? Like how is this bullshit? How's that guy doing the video bullshit? Yeah. He moves the camera.

Oh yeah, and he's fucking around. All of a sudden it's like, oh, it's right on, and then he moves the camera and then he goes, boop! That shit does not fucking... Just look at the little box. That's all you need to know. That little box is fucking stupid. It is stupid. And this person who doesn't understand that it should be, couldn't recreate the incident, says, and couldn't make it recreate the incident, fired. You are absolutely fired. You are not in charge of any voting shit

because you sound like a retarded person because you are not using correct syntax and grammar. How long did he try? How long did they try to make it recreate the incident? The machine has been taken out of service and we're waiting for the attorney generals to arrive. We had no complaints prior. We left the machine.

So then the- Well yeah, so clearly he said, this thing isn't fucking working. Yeah, so then they showed up. Yeah, the other guy showed up and said, Oh yeah, we did. It's fucked. We were able to recreate it. Oh really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they say it there? Yeah. Well there you go. Yeah. Then it's fucked up. Yeah, right, but how many people are recording shit in the... Like, uh...

Oh, I don't know. Did it work? Yeah, here we go. An attorney general has been to the vote center to check the device. Where was this? Uh, where's Laurel County? Uh, I don't know. Let me guess. Pennsylvania. Laurel County. Oh, Kentucky. Okay. That's pretty red.

Uh, after several minutes of attempting to recreate the scenario, it did occur. Got it. By hitting some area in between the scenario, it did occur. Got it. By hitting some area in between the boxes, huh? We tried for several months to do again and could not. Yeah. Yeah. Since this is going across the USA and the world,

I want to explain to everyone that this is a ballot marking device. You go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come, come, come. You answer blank ballot, you answer the ballot, voter, allows the voter to continue the next page. So that's what, that's not the vote No, that's the vote

Confirms about a ballot that you can like hand in or something to check to make sure it to make sure it's correct. Yeah Mmm, yeah, I hate that this I gotta read that here in Laurel County Yeah, it's goddamn machines don't fucking work. What's wrong with you guys? Are you using, you bought that shit when? Are you using the same phone from when you bought the election machines? I kinda doubt it. Fuck!

I hate those things so much. I hate that it's become such a partisan thing too. Oh God. What hasn't? Yeah. What hasn't? Okay, let's see. It's depressing. It is depressing. It's Cuba. Everybody, everybody said that the US should stop fucking Cuba over. Yeah. I loved how they phrased this headline. Yeah. Let me find it. Cuba. Here it is.

The blockade of Cuba, which is fucked that we're doing. Always has been. The headline is Mexico shamefully joins Russia and Venezuela in backing Cuba's dictatorship. You want to know what actually happened? The entire UN voted 887 to 2 to condemn the US. Guess who also voted to not condemn the US? Ukraine. No, that would be Israel, Sean. The US and their little buddy also somehow doesn't think it's wrong to... Israel somehow doesn't think it's wrong to uh, Israel somehow. Yeah. Doesn't think it's wrong to just totally fuck over uh, Cuba. I don't know why...

I don't know, I mean, like... I don't know why they would think that. I know people have been going to Cuba for years, you know? It's like... You know any women who get back from that? It's like an embargo but not real, like... Yeah. Well, it's an embargo just for them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys can't get anything good, but... We're gonna take your... We're gonna take your stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys can't get anything good, but we're gonna take your stuff. Yeah. Stupid. What do you mean? The US and Israel don't think what we're doing is wrong?

Right. You guys are being very anti-Semitic. Chat GPT versus women, this guy's a king. When I have a disagreement with a girl now, I export my entire chat history with her into AI and ask it to analyze the conversation and paste the results to her, this guy says. There's nothing she can do.

It's a brutal mog. I then tell her to contact me after she has spoken to the AI. Look at this shit that the, let's get this shit you can do to women now. This is great. These are just regular conversations or if he's a- Yeah, you like export your chat history yeah and pump dump it into Chad GPT and it said and you ask it to like rank these things right I like how it's like I like how it's it's it also gives an

opinion like what yeah poor control yeah GPD's an asshole analyze thisatings out of a hundred. Oh, that's hilarious. Rational, logical. You, 95. Right. Analytical, clear. Her, 15. Emotional, reactive. Emotional regulation. You, 90.

Stable, but cold. Her, 25. Volatile, poor control. Man, you can give your girlfriend a fucking report card! This thing has victim mentality? Victim mentality, you, five. It's all these loaded fucking- Takes responsibility.

Her 85, default mode of victimhood. Conflict handling, you 90, direct to sink. Her 15, escalates, focuses on past. So they had like a- So he had like an argument with her? I mean- It probably wasn't about dinner.

This thing's fucking great. It's funny. It's pretty funny. Oh We got to start doing this guys do dump the chat history there. Okay, you know, okay You think we got a problem now wait till you wait till I wait till I tell AI about this I'm surprised it didn't just go like it, you know TLDR What's the woman what's her response to this I know, I don't know what they're gonna say to this. Here you go. Chat GBT.

Hot off the, fresh off the press. Take a look at that. I mean. You've been fucking put on blast bitch. Don't know. Victim mentality. You scored an 85. So that's good.

That's good. Yeah you gotta say, you gotta tell it to make sure that the love scores mean bad. You scored an 85. So that's good. That's good. You gotta tell it to make sure that the low scores mean bad. So she doesn't get it confused, I guess. Somebody out there do that. It's pretty funny. With your girlfriend, soon to be ex-girlfriend. Six and a half percent of Nicaragua's entire population

came to the US in the last four years. Oh really? Yeah. Wow. It's a lot of Nicaraguans. A lot of Nicaraguans, yeah. Wow, I didn't know we were short on Nicaraguans. Not anymore. I hope not. I went to Costa Rica and I asked him to tell me a racist joke. Right, so this. Three Nicaraguans. Yeah. He said, he goes, oh, you want a racist joke?

Okay. There's three people in a plane. Costa Rican, an American, and a Nicaraguan. Oh, one of these. And the plane's gonna crash. And they said, you gotta throw out everything you got too much of. We're losing altitude, you gotta throw it out.

And he's telling it in like, you know, Spanish. Right. And he goes, so the American gets up there and just starts throwing money out of the plane. Yeah, right. And I was like, okay, that's funny. All right. All right, this must be an outdated joke.

Big penises. I don't know anybody with too much money. It was, it was a long time ago. Yeah, a long time ago. And so then the Nicaraguan stands up and he starts throwing guns out of the plane. Sure, yeah. We got a lot of guns here, yeah.

And then the Costa Rican goes and he throws the Nicaraguan out of the plane. Yep. And now we got, look at this shit. Look at that. Wow, mama mia. 6.5%. This guy's pretty good. He's got good data. Does he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 6.5% Nicaragua's entire population. Illegal aliens entering

the US. Percent of their home... 6% of Cuba? What? Is that right? Well, you know, they've been coming over on rafts and stuff. I mean, they don't cover it really. That's staggering. Percent of the population of Nicaragua? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Wow. I mean, I would be looking into this if I cared, but like just if it's anywhere.

Is that possible? I don't know. I don't know. How many people would that be? That's a fuck possible? I don't know. I don't know. How many people would that be? That's a fuckload. I don't know. Venezuela, 3% of the entire country. Haiti, 4% of the entire country.

I don't know what this means. Title VIII alien encounters and direct to USA Interior flights. Is that when they- Wow! Stuck with- I don't know what- Let me see. Amount of immigrants into US per year. That graph they always show,

the one that, the graph that saved Trump's life, you know, where he bent over to look at the graph when that guy shot him. Okay, yeah, it's a couple million, maybe that's, God, maybe that's true. There's 50 million immigrants. It's too hard to find. Too hard to find during a show. Too hard to find. 1.6 million increase. Okay, what's the population of Nicaragua? Oh, it's only six million.

Seven million. So that's totally possible. Yeah. Oh, it's only six million. Seven million. So that's totally possible. Yeah. Wow. How many Nicaraguans were they saying? Six percent of Nicaragua. Times 0.06. Yeah.

So that's only like 350,000 people. 350,000 people? That still seems like unbelievable. We should just annex the whole South America then. Make up things. It seems like way too many. I don't know I mean I six hundred three hundred fifty thousand. I mean it's in four years from Nicaragua. I don't know like it Well, look at the I don't know. I guess this this is probably like the highest Of people that came in right and then there's other ones that are right there. And we get like a 1.5 million a year coming in. Is that what it is?

I think it's something like that. It's a lot more than I- Immigrants or illegal? I don't know. Yeah, I know, yeah. This graph is split too. I don't know if it's all illegal. Well, the reds are illegal.

That's crazy, man. Inadmissible. Aliens? I don't know if it's all illegal. Well, the reds are illegal. Yeah. That's crazy, man. Inadmissible. Aliens? I don't know what that means. Okay. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I mean, good stuff to look up. Fuck, man.

I mean, if you're into like really finding the, you know, like if you can find this stuff out. Yeah. If it's off, I wonder how much it's off by. But I think people just wanna, most people just wanna look at that and go, like, you know, see, told ya. Or it's bullshit. But like nobody actually looks at it. Well, there's-

I do. They're coming. They are here, right? Oh, sure, yeah. I know that. Of course, of course. Man, that's a lot. I just look. Of course, of course. Uh, man, that's a lot. I just look at the fact that, but this country's immigration,

now this, I looked this up a while ago, and it was for a 10 year period, and it encompassed parts of Republican and Democratic administrations. And from what I saw, the legal immigration, we were number one in legal immigration. And we were more than twice as many as the next nine countries combined.

With legal immigration. Over that 10 year period. Wow. That's a lot of people coming in. Yeah, more than twice as many, add up two through nine. We allowed legally more than twice as many. Which, so it's like, it seems fucking crazy, right? Yeah, yeah.

All right, let's get John in here. John breaks bad news. Oh, cool. John breaks bad news. We haven't talked to him lately. No, it has been a while. Let me unmute him. I never know how this works.

Suppression works. Yeah, unmute yourself whenever you want, man. Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, what's up, man? Hey, I'm actually having a problem with my PC. Can I just restart and I'll be back in like five minutes? Yeah, sure. Sure. All right. Sounded fine to me. All right. Here, check this out. There's this video game. You sound fine to me. All right. Here, check this out. There's this video game.

You might like this one. It's got video game stuff in it. Yeah, I love video games. So they... Remember that game that came out in the character creation that you have like getting top scars, chest scars? Oh, yeah. Yeah, in case you...

Right. So you could pretend that you cut your boobs off. Yeah. So they've been releasing some of the cut scenes from the game. Okay. And it's just like full of like trans shit here. I'm gonna play this one.

But like really like weirdly kind of weirdly backwards. All that stuff is so clumsily done. Yes. Like it's, that's what yeah you can you can write good story you there it's like they completely forget about characters or anything if people are so Just crazy to get like a certain agenda out there. Like I've seen it with shows and stuff, you know, it's just like None of the none of these are characters, right?

You know, it's just like none of the none of these are characters, right? This is like people they don't have any kind of you know humanity to them. It's just like oh well this person's trans That's why you should love it. You should love it because this character is trans Yeah here let me let me play this and it's not even the trans shit that annoys me about this Yeah, I'll play it She's still holding the Ruby in her other hand So there's like a got a demon here and there's like some kind of other demon and there's like they're talking to this bitch. What are they doing?

Just chilling? They're at a bar talking about killing dragons and stuff. I don't know. Sure. Yeah. You know. Pounding that snake's nose, she's still holding the ruby in her other hand. Maker's panties.

I was so proud. Oh, um. Ah, shit. They, they're Ah, shit. They. They're still holding it. Sorry. What are you doing? Pulling a barf.

Oh, okay. A barf? Tradition in the Lords of Fortune from one of our old members, Barf. Good guy, but like most of us, his plans went sideways a lot. She says she's doing push-ups because she messed up the... Because she fucked up the pronoun. Is that what game is this? Uh, I don't know. Dungeons and Drag Queens, I think.

Oh, God. Dungeons and Drag Queens. I don't care about the transition. Whatever. I'm not buying the game. I'm not playing it. You stop buying the shit, but you can, because people can't because they're addicted. Always just like fucking eye rolls, man. What annoys me about it is this type of writing and dialogue and comedy that has basically turned all of entertainment into a grey goo. Which is the compulsion to have characters... It's so written by like 20 year olds.

Instead of having jokes and dialogue, they just have them stammer and stutter. Like that's the part that should be funny. The ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You say a line. It's a race. It's called writing.

It's a race to the bottom on fucking everything. It's every single new show, I'll put it on, and as soon as I hear somebody go, ooh, ah, ee, ah, no, that's it, no. That's where you're supposed to put a line of dialogue that expresses an idea, a specific decision about the situation that's happening around you. You're supposed to say something about it,

and that's where the joke is. Not ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ooh ah, ooh ooh, like a monkey. Pounding that snake's nose. She's still holding the ruby in her other hand. Maker's panties, I was so proud. Oh, um, ah, shit, they, they're having it. And she's supposed to just get that from her going like, ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh ah. Oh shit, I fucked up my pronouns. I better go do some pushups. They. They. Have to get. She's supposed to just get that from her going like Ooh! Ah! Ooh!

Oh shit, I fucked up my pronouns! I better go do some push-ups. Right. Right. Isn't that great? It's full of this shit though. Okay. It's a game. It's great. Well, I'll never buy it.

No! I don't know. Because I don't play video games. Not because of the pronoun thing. I really don't care Okay, is John back all right some comments till John gets back But but but but but Mnemonic Sean I I told Michael J Fox that you made that awful joke. Oh man how much he's shaking god That ruined your day. Yeah, I was okay. But it was kind of tasteless.

What is this picture that they're posting in here? What the, oh, pro-no-shit. Tardy Johnson, I'd bet any amount of money that the chicks that puts themselves in the sporty category think that sporty means they watch sports. Yeah. That could be.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think he's right. Did you watch the Dodger game? Oh, yeah. I don't think I've ever seen a game quite like that. Two home runs, I was like, oh, this game's over. It's over.

It's over. Okay, they'll come back, win at a Dodger stadium. Like, it was like, oh, this game's over. It's over. It's over, like, okay, they'll come back, win at a Dodger Stadium. Like, it's like, cause... That would've been better. I mean... No, it's better in New York. I've just never seen... Fuck you.

I've just never seen a collapse quite like that in an NA. Yeah, oh, that's good. Blart Sampson says, all this Yakuza talk has got me thinking about a hilarious anime called Goku Dolls. It's about three Yakuza guys who screw up so bad the boss makes them travel to Thailand to get sex changes and start a J-pop idol singing group.

Very weird, very funny. Goku Dolls, it's called. What is it? An anime. It's an anime. Yeah, let's see. Wow. Let's see what it looks like.

Pretty funny. Goku dolls, okay. So these are guys, these are Yakuza guys. What? Amazing. Okay. Okay. Did they mess up pronouns in that show?

They're just constantly doing pushups. That's like 15 minutes of the episode is them just going ooo, aah, ooo, aah, aah. Oh shit. You know what I mean about that ooo, aah shit? Yeah. Yeah. Oooo, aah,

ooo. What is that? Somebody said fuck. Jared Muggedway says, Kidnapped again, please help. Hey Dick, please help. A dozen pigs carted me off to the, uh, Wera B. Mercy Hospital because I made a mistake of talking to my mother.

Could you or someone please call me or the hospital to confirm I'm not lying about the podcast? I was gonna watch UFC with my mates. Have a good day. Ah. Wait, what? I have no idea. Uh, this is not the, uh... Lying about the podcast? I was gonna watch UFC with my mates. Have a good day. Ah. Wait, what? I have no idea. This is not the- Lying about the podcast?

I have no idea what he's talking about. Like nobody would listen to a podcast that talks about that shit. You're obviously nuts. Don't know him. He talked to his mother. You're gonna need to give me more information than that. Yeah, considerably.

Yeah, a lot more. But maybe you'll be able to think about that in the mental institution. Oh no. Luke O says, D&D safety forums. Don't use my name. Okay. Hey, Dick and Sean.

Yeah, the safety forums with the, that you put the X. The no raping symbol that they have. Right, the triggered symbol, the X, right? These D&D safety tools have been going on for a while. Oh my God. I figured. My nephews made D&D safety tools have been going on for a while. Oh my God. I figured. My nephews made D&D characters.

Yeah. And the little one, he made a dragon character and he wrote, and I found it, I was reading it. The backstory is that Joe Biden came into town with an army of dragons. Wait, what? The character in the game, I found one of his character sheets

and I was looking at them. What game? Who? Dungeons and Dragons. Who's sheet? My little nephew. Oh, gotcha. He made a character sheet for Dungeons and Dragons. See, you have to hide this from me because I'm reading it.

That's why I'm not paying attention. Well, I'm waiting for... They're talking about how the whole show is shit. This show? I think so, yeah. No, they're talking about... Where? On the bottom.

Oh, they're talking about the community. No, he's talking about the biggest problem in the bottom. Oh, they're talking, he's talking about the community. The biggest, no, he's talking about the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah, but then the TDS. Is an anime segment. Oh, the community's gone downhill. Oh, that's Balder. He's always crying about,

Oh. Ignore that guy. So I read his character backstory was that Joe Biden came to town with an army of dragons. Really? And then Biden was going to wipe out Trump town or whatever. And then he- This is his story?

This is his backstory. And then Joe Biden, the next day for the attack, Biden forgot what he was doing. So his character convinced him that his army of dragons was there to kill him. So he used his magic to kill the army of dragons. And then his character killed Joe Biden. Quite an imagination.

Like this is quite a story. And you got the memory loss part? How did you know that? Quite a tale you wrote here. I'll say. These D&D safety tools have been going on for a while. There's a lot of pressure from D&D fifth edition players in particular who are all mostly gay improv types to use them. COVID sent a lot of games online

and people were now playing more D&D but with random people. Oh, that's a problem. This means that the small portion of F'sler Karens who got into the game because of critical role the D&D live stream Foxox Machina is on. We're playing Dungeons and Dragons normal audience pedantic and socially inept nerds. Okay. That makes sense. You're mixing a lot of yeah. Yeah. This led to a lot of D&D horror stories where the F slurs would do something like make their character gay in a medieval fantasy setting. And the nerds would have their NPCs

call them slurs because that's how a medieval society would react Well, how did they know they were gay is the question Hmm. So all these tools were cooked up to give People with no social skills the ability to veto things that the Game Master brings to the table to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Which is the group with no social skills in this description. It's the same as the shit that they do in video games and comics, trying to stop people from enjoying the hobby in the wrong way. They almost never come up in games that aren't D&D 5e. So no Game Master who has any social skills uses them, and only players who ask for that shit are problems you don't want inD 5e. So no game master who has any social skills uses them.

And only players who ask for that shit are problems you don't want in your game anyway. Yeah, no kidding. Go fuck yourself, Luke-o. Right, so he's saying who cares really? Cause I mean, cause he won't. Yeah, I mean, you'll find a game you can hang with basically. Yeah, that's funny that random people

are getting paired up to play Dungeons and Dragons. Like, that sounds like a nightmare Yeah, well it does you know well cuz yeah I mean the way the game started obviously was people who knew each other play You have similar like you just have your similar your friends Yeah, ps for Shawn's Context if you oh man, I was he's gonna, because he knows I don't know shit about this. My nephew said, the little nephew again,

he's like, the character's totally unbeatable. My character that I made is totally unbeatable. Oh, sounds like a challenge. Right, right, so I'm like, okay, let's play. Oh really? Okay, let's see, I'm like, there's a wizard thing, and he's like, oh, I have a ring with three wishes. Yeah.

Like, okay, well, what are you gonna wish for? He's like, well, I'm gonna wish, I wish to kill the wizard or something like that. I said, okay, well, then time accelerates and the wizard dies of old age, but now all your 10 billion gold is worth nothing because of inflation. So now the tax guy comes, he's like,

hey, you've been missing for like thousands of years, let's go, we need about $500 trillion for your tax bill. How much you got? And he goes, I'm going to kill him or something like that. And at the last, he blew his wish on something else. His last wish, he goes, uncle, uncle, hold on, hold on. My third wish. You just have to kill everybody.

That's what it comes down to. Yeah, and that's a bad, that is never gonna work doesn't work in real life. You have to kill everybody Everybody doesn't know that yeah, right? I'm gonna kill him. I'm like, okay, you got a role To kill that kid and he's made a medal too just like you because when you were sleeping for a thousand years everybody got you Know he's starting to panic And he goes, okay. I wish he was dead. I'm like, okay. And he goes, okay, for my third wish, I got it figured out.

You're never going to fuck me on this one. I wish I had no problems. And I said, okay, you died instantly of a heart attack. Now you have no problems. And he goes, what? And his brother was like, oh, man. He doesn't realize that you've had a lot of practice being you. It's like, buddy, that's the only way.

Listen. Yeah. That's the only way you have no problems. And he got just a lot more cynical at that very moment. So give me your sheet. I got to rip it up now for the rules. He goes, no! Funny.

PS, for Sean's context, if he wants it. Yes, I do. There are rules to these games that the game master has to educate and occasionally bend to keep the experience moving forward. A GM is like a ref who occasionally puts their thumb on the scale to put things in the player's favor. Got it. It's guided. Yeah, it's kind of, yeah. How often a GM bends the rules depends on how strict the rules for said game are in a bit of personal space. Yeah, that's interesting. So I mean, there were like the GMs, like they run the gamut obviously. Like there's some people do a, you know, it's like, I don't know, like a boxing referee.

How much, you know- What are you gonna let them get away with? What are you gonna let them get away with? How much, you know, how much tying up do you let them get away with? Do you make them punch their way out of it? Do you separate them immediately? Are you watching the fucking head butt? come together is like is it you know?

Yeah, when do you take a point? How many warnings do they get you know? Okay, John. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Sorry. How you doing, man? I'm doing great, man. I just got back from vacation. That's part of the reason Probably reason my audio is all fucked up before is I I brought like a stream set up with me on vacation so I could stream while I was down in Florida. And, uh, I got back like a couple of hours ago and I was setting everything back up and I, did that work for you? I hate streaming on vacation. I know we streamed for about six minutes. None of the audio worked.

The laptop's sitting out on me and it was really embarrassing. People are being, people were telling like, you know, Rogan, they're saying, oh, you got to travel to Kamala Harris. She said she'd do an interview with you if you traveled to her to do it. And he's like, no, I won't do a good show. People are shitting on him, but that's so obviously true. Yeah, you're a little shit. You do, there's little things that you can't possibly predict that come up.

Even if you go to a known broadcast place, yeah, no, he's right. Yeah, how's Florida? No, he's right. Yeah. How's Florida? Great. Took the kids to Disney and completely just spent too much money.

What is it now? Did you get friend of the line passes for like $1,000 or something like that? No. No, no, no. We didn't do that. We just more like the regular. You know what it is?

The fast passes, they're not worth it at Disney, apparently. They're like, you can pick three rides and you pay a thousand dollars to pick three rides that you can go on. Pay more and you get less every time. You only change to pick three rides? Fucked up. That's how it was explained to me.

And I was just like, that doesn't sound like it's worth it at all. But the kids had a great time. So that's good. Wait, did you go to multiple parks? You're in Disney World, right? Yeah, we went to Magic Kingdom and Epcot and I was the drunkest man in Disney for about 45 minutes.

Did you, do you like roller coasters? Yeah, yeah. Did you do the Guardians one at Epcot? Yes, we did. Bad ass, right? Where is it? My son did it twice. Yeah, it's fucking bad ass. It's inside the thing?

It's really new. It's at the far end of Epcot Center, basically. Yeah, it's in the space center area of Epcot Center basically. Yeah, it's like in the space center area of Epcot and you know, it spins you around, throws you around. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, totally. All right, I'm done. Yeah, how's the bad news game treating you?

Can you give the bad news to the DNC that I'm not giving them their money back? Can you call them and deliver that news? Yeah, give me their number. I'll call them. Absolutely. Let me see if I have it here. Oh, fuck those people. Yeah, I can't believe that.

How's your, yeah, how else is the bad news going? Where are you? Oh, it's going great. Fucking. Good news. We just hit like a million subscribers, a million and a half followers on TikTok. Jesus. A million followers on TikTok. Jesus.

And a million followers on Instagram. A million followers on Instagram? Whoa, what was that? I'm coming, yeah, your audio is fucked up. That's crazy. Congratulations. Thank you. What does that make you?

How much money is that worth in American dollars and not Instagram dollars? In the last and this all happens like in the last three months. Yeah So I mean like I was able to buy a car What kind of car? Challenger oh Cool very cool I got a challenger. Oh, cool. Very cool. Wow, you're at a million followers?

I gotta see that. Let me see what you're doing. What, you don't believe him? No, I check everything. You know me. I don't let any kind of facts get by me. Yeah, right. Unchecked, Sean.

Yes, right. Sean breaks bad news, Instagram. Wow. Look at that, you're checking him in real time. I gotta see it. That's huge. A million? Tasteless. I only know hot whores who got a million followers on Instagram. That's the funniest thing about all of this is that I'm a fat idiot and I see these girls who are struggling to get like a hundred K and I'm like I mean, it's impressive. Yeah, it is. That's great Have you seen all these have you seen these girls wearing the fake boobs?

John I Have not you haven't seen that in this. Why am I getting hit with these all the time on Instagram? Because you're obsessed with boobs. Well, then why would I be getting this content? Give me something real, not like fake plastic ones. Okay, so what's the last bad news you've delivered here on your thing? I actually have a couple of them queued up, like a couple of good ones queued up to send you if you want me to DM you on however you want me to send it to you yeah send it to me send me on discord I'm looking at all right now that's amazing yeah million views I think I have like a thousand views or a thousand

followers yeah yeah well I mean how long do your Instagram accounts last you don't get very long yeah okay nobody wants to see me on Instagram. It's really, really difficult to not get banned. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to click the, I'm going to start clicking these. Here we go. You got it. Hello. Hi Kenny. This is John from John breaks bad news. I have some bad news for you. Your wife Tanya has been seeing sleeping with another guy for the last two years. He doesn't even know she's still married, but the entire family has known for a long time. He's a good guy, but she's been lying about working nights most of the time. She's just been with him. Who is it? Sorry bud. Who?

Who is this? This is John. John who? John, from John Breaks Bad News. Yeah, okay. Good job. I mean, has your wife been working nights a lot? A lot.

Yep. Wow. I hate to be the one to break it to you, bud, but it sounds like maybe she might be seeing somebody else. Oh, she's seeing you. Maybe it's you. No, it's not me. No?

No. Somebody else. Yeah, it's you. I don't know. Somebody wanted me to let you know this. You keep telling me to let you know. No. No. Somebody else. Yeah. Really? I don't know. Somebody wanted me to let you know this. You keep telling me.

Somebody in your family wanted me to let you know that they know about this. Okay. So who's that somebody? They want to be left anonymous. They don't want to be involved. Oh, so they want somebody that I don't know to tell me. That's not how my family works, he can tell you. They might.

Well, look, you can believe it or not. I would just look into it. You don't have to believe a stranger on the internet. That would be crazy. But maybe if you have been seeing signs that maybe your wife is sleeping with somebody, maybe, just maybe, you take a look at that. I'm trying to help you out, bud. But if you don't want my help, that's fine with me. I think it started, maybe it started to, his wheels are turning, he's like,

God, she has, is there, what are the signs? Could this possibly be true? I'm sure, I bet he checked it out a little bit. Do you feel anything anymore, John, when you're delivering, you've been doing it for so long? There was one lady I had to tell her sister, I had to tell her her sister had cancer and that- Jesus. Oh, God! Why would she make you do that? I had to tell her her sister had cancer and that she said

Why would she make you do that? She didn't want to do it. I Actually, I like I care a little bit about it and I was like, are you sure you want me to do it? And she was like, yeah, I don't want to I don't want to have that conversation God And then more recently, and I didn't post the clip of this one because I thought it was like a little too poor taste. But somebody had me tell someone that their friend had passed away. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, that would be hard. I was like, I didn't realize what I was doing until like midway through reading it. And I was like, oh shit. I just told this girl, her friend. Wait, what do you mean you didn't know until you're midway through? Do you just, you don't vet it beforehand?

I know, that's what I'm gonna ask. Oh, well, I, no. I get the thousand. Dick, he's got a million followers. A million followers. You don't even read it beforehand? No, no. I get the thousandth. Dick, he's got a million followers. A million followers. You don't even read it before? No. Well, I got a new website and it kind of like,

no, I don't read it. I guess it's plausible deniability. Fucking dry run. Dry run. Dry run. And people are really terrible at writing emails, man. No, yeah, we're aware of it. And I get comments all the time.

I'm like, there are people yelling at me that I can't read. And it's like, no, it was written in like, hieroglyphics. I have no idea what this person is really trying to get across because they keep on switching like from I to you and shit. And it's like, it's like they forget what the sentence they just wrote was like they can't, they can't write a sentence and then write another one. They have to just make it one gigantic sentence that contains the entire story. Um, Oh my God. So your, your delivery is the exact same. If you're telling someone their friend has cancer

versus like telling them that you're gonna be late for dinner, because you don't read it in advance. He also breaks bad news to himself. I mean, yeah, I try to read ahead, but you know, sometimes I'm a little bit too in the sauce. Do you follow up at all? Like you need a whole crew, man. You got to get people to follow up on these stories.

You need like a catfish kind of crew. I want to start doing like live stuff. Yeah, I got to figure out how to do it and it not be a total complete fucking mess. How is this not a show on TV? Like how is this not on Netflix or Hulu? Did I ever tell you about how I went to a producer and like I went to a producer and like they wanted me. Oh yeah I did.

I told you about the dogs. They wanted me to tell the dogs that they're going to be put down. Oh god. No tell that. You told that on this show. Yeah, I called it on this show. This is familiar. Yeah, it sounds about right. That was the show they wanted you to do is tell dogs that they were going to be put down. Yeah. They wanted me to like do Confucius style, like bits of bits of wisdom.

And then they wanted me to tell a bunch of dogs that they were going to get put down. Who is the producer for this? Like, uh, it was something gold studios. Not Steehan, just gold. No, yeah. Short, short for Thomas gold.

Right. Oh, get away, get the hell out of here. Bring me a goldstein. It was one of the the woman who produced Love and Hip Hop approached me. Oh, wow. Right. That was that those weren't her ideas. She she hooked me up with like a writer and that was the writer. And I was like, I don't I'm out. It sounds like one

of Vito's twists oh for sure now they've got this great idea guy calls people gives him bad news what if we made him give the bad news to dogs right they're trying to make it comedy and kill dogs they're trying okay did this guy follow up with this guy do they ever I I haven't heard anything from him, no. Oh man, I need closure. All right, let me click on the second one. The second one is my favorite clip that we've ever done. Okay. Wow.

That's saying something. How many of these do you do a week? I do three hours every Thursday and then another three hours every Friday. Wow. You put in just as much work as me, but you're so much more successful. Isn't that amazing? I really, I'm behind too. I'm like really behind on requests. Yeah.

I got to start figuring out how to do it full time. Now, what do you need to do it full time? Yeah. I need to quit my job. Oh, that's it? Can you call your job and you're gonna do that on the air? Give them bad news?

I might. I might. Now, are there some, I know you mentioned that you were talking to the woman, like, are you sure you want me to be the one to do this? Do you ever turn any down, provided you read ahead? Yeah. So like a couple of years ago,

it was a lot easier for me to like read them as they came in because I wasn't getting so many. And it's just the last couple of months where I've gotten like literally tens of thousands of emails, like thousands every day. Wow. And the site is johnbreaksbadnews.com and you could send your request through the website

and it's like a form you fill out. And right now we're really far behind. What I was gonna say, yeah, because at six hours a day, you're not getting through thousands in any reasonable time, right? Yeah, no, no. But the paid one, like I focus on the paid one. Sure. Oh, okay.

Are you able to spot like obvious fakes that people send in? Yeah. As soon as I read it, I'm like, okay, well, this one is most likely bullshit. Wow. And I kind of like roll my eyes, but you know, like I still got to do them. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody gave me money.

Okay, let me play. Let me play this one. Your favorite one of all time. Hello. Hi, is this Michelle? play this one, your favorite one of all time. Hello. Hi, is this Michelle? Yeah, who's this? This is John from John breaks bad news. I have some bad news for Marcus for you.

Yeah. What's this regarding your loan for the house was not approved. And so Regarding your loan for the house was not approved And So Sorry, but Okay, whatever now. I love you really yeah Who the hell told somebody that you have no fucking that you love I'm just I have an open heart

Really oh I have a fucking problem with that cuz I'm in a relationship. Oh, I'm sorry bud Oh, I'm sorry, bud. Oh, really? Oh, that's all you got to fucking say? No, I'm sorry, bud. What were you saying, John? I was just, this lady completely, she really hates the I love you bit and then she really, really hates being called bud. Sure, yeah.

She confuses it for being called Dude for some reason. Because she's drunk? Dude, it's so funny listening to people like cope with lashing out. Like they get the bad news and then they're kind of silent and then the lash out like begins. I ain't a fucking dude. What does that have to do with anything but is I didn't call you a I fucking heard it Claire. No, well, everybody had Laughs all you fucking want. I'm look you're just freaking out Freak out how the fuck did you get my number? Marcus gave it to me. Really? Yeah. And what's your fucking asshole?

My name's John. John John who? John breaks bad news. John who? John who? Every fucking house has a John. Yeah, like a toilet. I get it. That's very funny. Every fucking house has a John My god Do you fucking think so why the fuck did you call my phone cuz Marcus

Were not approved for the loan for the new house Really? Well, right Marcus is gonna get his fucking ass fucked up! It's not his fault that your credit is bad? Really? Really. Fuck you! Get rid of my fucking number, asshole! Look man, look man. I wanna follow up on the wreckage that these cause. Asshole. Look, man. Look, man. I want to follow up on the wreckage that these cause. Yeah.

You know, I mean, Charlie's like, how the fuck have you had some fucking random guy from the internet call me to tell me that? And you're in charge of home loans? I wonder if anybody's killed somebody else based on this shit. You're going to get hauled into court. What's like the most violent one you ever got? Oh, I told this, this one guy that his son was going to the FBI because he had stolen his identity. Okay. And the guy threatened to stab me and he was like, I'm looking up your address right now You say I got you I got you way down in Hawaii and I was like, well you got me miles off

But I got a wife. Yeah, go for it. You nailed it. That's where I am. Uh Okay, here's the man. Yeah, I gotta see some follow-ups. I mean that's you need like a team I'm sure I got it figuring out how to do better with the follow-ups Maybe I'll maybe the form add like a call call you all the person who It's like these people didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation and then they're going to wind up having way more uncomfortable of a conversation. But it's like more silly, you know, it's so preposterously wrong

what they've done that the conversation is better. It's not just about cancer. Now it's like, why would the fuck would you give this clown a lot of other shit? You know? OK, let me play the last one that you saw at the top at. All right. Hi, who's calling? Hi, Serena. This is John from John Briggs. Bad news. I have some bad news from Sean for you.

Please stop texting his mom. We stopped dating over a year ago and it's getting really weird. Also try asking to stay in the Hilton head in house. Silly. I don't know what that last wasn't dry run. Okay. Okay. You just wants to tell you. Yes. Go to John Briggs, bad news.com. Go ahead and go to the website. Just no, no humanity at all. Okay. No, no, no. Can I send it back to you? Yeah, but you gotta go through my website. Because I'm live streaming right now and I don't want you saying anybody's personal information.

My God, are you a Face Talker? Are you on Face Talk? Are you cute? Yeah. Am I gonna be in a fucking video? I swear to God. You're on a video right now. We're live streaming.

Oh my God. Hi,. I don't want to send them back to the service. Okay. So go to my website. I think I'm getting feedback. J-O-N. No, no, no. I have you on the phone.

I want to send it back on this video. All right. So just say what she's... They're listening. Shawn is listening right now. So say what she's, they're listening. Sean is listening right now. So say what you want to say. Oh, wait, that's so cool. Wait, I'm so scared.

Jesus. All right. Oh my God. I'm famous. Oh, I literally, I started. Why do you hold on? First of all, why do you keep texting his mom? Oh my God.

It was one. But you guys stopped dating over a year ago. Texting his mom. Oh my god, it was one But you guys stopped dating over a year ago No, okay, I see walking around I sent her I sent her to the tech Okay, and I Have you only got and I basically was just asking, because my friends are going to Hilton Head and the Airbnbs are like $2,000, and I was like, this is the only person I know

that actually literally owns a home in Hilton Head. So she would know places to stay, other things, the other utility you can use to plan a vacation there that's less costly. Oh, so he thought that you were trying to stay in his Hilton head house. Oh my God. Oh my God, no. Dude, I would never dare.

We broke up. I'm not going to go stay in my ex's house. That's so weird. I don't know. That sounds like something some, like a ditzy white girl would do. And you some like a ditzy white girl would do and You sound like a ditzy white girl Actually not Caucasian at all, but great you want to call me a bitchy white girl go ahead I didn't say bitchy. I said ditzy that oh

See it's a Oh, wait, I said, 50, 50, busy. Ditsy, Ditsy, D-I-T-Z-Y. Oh, oh yeah, hold on, I'm not. But I do apologize, Sean, if you're on the end of this, I apologize. I'm not reaching out to your mom. That was not a daily or weekly or monthly occurrence. It was one in a million, never going to happen again. So don't worry, don't get your pants in a twist How about you take us air force out of your Instagram bio? Damn all right. Okay. All right, Serena you you have a good day. I love you. Bye

Bye I'm gonna send a message someday Not you. I don't really think about you. I really like about you. But someday somebody can get one of those I love your service, dude No problem. Oh my god. Wait, can you say happy birthday Davis? Happy birthday Davis Happy birthday Davis. Happy birthday Davis. Oh, all right. Love you. Bye. Okay. Bye. I'm going to go. I'm going to subscribe to you now. You're awesome. John breaks bad news. That's JLN breaks bad news. John breaks bad news. All right. Fire. Bye. John. Bye. I thought, I thought we were going to lose her for a second. Yeah, it turned around. I thought I thought we were gonna lose her for a second. Yeah, it turned around. I thought we were gonna have.

She was she was trying to stay there for free. Right. Well, yeah, obviously. 100% 100%. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are we live? I'm on camera.

I didn't do that. That's crazy. I just thought she had some kind of a Oh my god. Oh my god. Are we live? Am I on camera? I didn't do that. That's crazy. I just thought she had some good deals in the area, you know She lives there, they got a house there. I'd like to see the texts Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need somebody following up to like get more juice to use Yeah, I mean cuz like you know the mom could be like, hey, your ex is texting me like nonstop, you know? She's like, well, I did it one time, like, you know, about a house.

Yeah, for like a week straight. One time. Yeah. One time. Well, you got any fun ones coming up? Uh, let me. You don't know, do you? I have no idea. Are you going to have any guests delivering bad news?

Have you done that? So I had Tony from Hack the Movies on, and I had Mint Salad on, and those shows were plagued with technical difficulties because I don't know what I'm doing as far as streaming goes. John, you have a real simple setup. You just call people and stream it. What is the kind of technical difficulties are you having once I tried to use like voice meter and that all like is like giving me a lot of problems.

Yeah, I don't know. But I would love to have you on soon. Oh yeah, I would love to do this. Also me and Sir Seat Sitter have started a new podcast from Abs in a Six Pack I believe you know. Yeah I know him. Yeah. We've started a podcast called the most embarrassing show and the premise is creators bringing in like their earliest works and Oh, and most humiliating. That's horrible. Oh, you're making them sit through it.

Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to come in and read his book. Vito's the novel that he wrote. Yeah, the novel. That would be great. I didn't know he wrote a novel. Yeah. What's it called? Yeah, the novel. That would be great. I didn't know you wrote a novel.

Yeah. What's it called? Oh, he didn't tell me what it was called. Oh, we're trying this month to get him on. We'd love to have you on as well for that. God, I have some bad old stuff out there. Do you? Oh, yeah. From way, way back. Oh, yeah, that would be that back. Uh, ugh. Yeah, that would be fun. That sounds terrible.

We'll have to do it. If Trump wins, I'll do it. If Kamala wins, I'm going to kill myself. So we'll have to do it, you know, quickly. But that sounds fun. Do you want to not watch TV on half and call you and say who won? Yeah, tell me. Tell me. Deliver me bad news.

If they figure out that she won in December, then call me and tell me what happened. Exactly. Ha ha. Vito's book would be fun. How long ago did he write one? I don't know. I don't know if it took him longer than Superkiller.

Have you read it? No, I haven't read it at all. Did you buy Superkiller? Are you waiting for that to come out? I've been waiting for 10 years now. Yeah. I don't think it's ever coming. I heard the last thing I heard was it was like almost done. It was going to print or something.

You know, it's been almost done for about a year and a half. It's crazy. It's right on the c done. It was going to print or something. You know, it's been almost done for about a year and a half. It's crazy. Yeah. It's right on the cusp. It's like the cure for cancer. It's right there. Right around the corner.

Hoverboard's right there. He bought a new monitor to make sure it's great, to make sure it's very funny. He said on the last show. A new monitor? Oh, I'm sorry, like a screen? Yeah, like a monitor screen to make sure the colors are all very funny. It's all calibrated.

Yeah, because that's what's important. Yeah, just fucking print the thing and ship it, asshole. You remember when Charles Dickens had to make sure the alignment of the Christmas Carol was just so... Was the kerning was correct or else this is not going to be a memorable story. I got to bring in a typeface setter to just make, just, you know, you got to focus on the details to make sure it's good.

What do you think about Nick Reketa? Do you think he's going to do any jail time? I really hope not. I wasn't, I'm going to be honest. I didn't really pay any attention to Nick Reketa until all this stuff happened. And I watched that one stream where he was just like, shouting down the government and everything. The first one right after he got arrested. Yeah. And I was like, I love this guy. Yeah. I don't want anything bad to happen to this man.

No. And so I'm really rooting for him, but I don't know. The ounce of blow is a lot of blow. It's a lot of blow. Thank God it's not more. Cause they're going to whittle it. They got to whittle it down with packaging and stuff. You know, hopefully get it under a felony possession,

but this depends how far over it is, right? Yeah. You know, they can get it far away from an ounce. Think that if, like if they can really, I don't know. I was going to say some shit and I thought better of it. Because I'm not a lawyer and I know nothing about the fucking law. All of his lawyer friends are really turning hard on him. Like all the people he had on his show, from his Johnny Depp show, to like sit around and talk shit about Amber Heard.

They're all... Do they think he's like think he's just acting poorly? That's part of it. Like you're hurting, like, you're embarrassing us. I don't know if he's streaming or if he's like, you're hurting your own case. Like, because...

That's part of it too. Comes down, you know, if you... Yeah, I don't know how he's acting. I think most of it is, and it almost always is this case for anyone trying to be famous online, is seething jealousy and resentment over an audience and thinking they would do it better. And that coming out, that turns into like every possible explanation under the sun. Yeah. Like, oh, you owe me, you owe us for these two lawyers who are probably 1200 pounds together.

They're crying about how Nick didn't compensate them for being on his Johnny Depp streams. Yeah. But it's like- I mean, was there any arrangement in place? No. Nick said something about how people would be rewarded, but he was not specific at all. With money or whatever.

With audience and exposure. I mean... Take that for whatever. If a lawyer to say that it was implied I would get money, it's just frankly preposterous. You got an uphill battle. Yeah, like, oh, you didn't have any of that in writing? And you, a lawyer, are saying it meant money?

Okay, asshole. Like, go ahead. But it's like, they've all banned together now and become like, nacrecated detractors. It's crazy. It's crazy to see. And they're not like, none of them are funny. You know, none of them are like, he's the one that brought it in that made it a big deal. You know, none of them are like he's the one that brought it in that made it a big deal Yeah, and they all just kind of showed up and told like priest jokes

Oh, right, like not not really funny jokes like oh, it's a yeah, you got a mascot I haven't seen them make some jokes about that. Yeah. Okay, John Congratulations on all your success Thank you a free Riley dot fund. Oh, man, do you think he's going to jail? God, I hope not. He's fucking better not. Can you believe that Vito, can you fucking believe Vito's big tantrum

about the my property shit? I mean, like it was very silly. Yeah. Yeah. Nah. I like Vito a lot. I have a hard time. silly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I like veto a lot I have a hard time. I have a hard time. Everybody gives him such shit and says he's disingenuous about like all of his all his little weird quirks and I really have a like a hard time being like He's like thinking that he's like just faking that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know exactly

Yeah, I know like I feel like he was really like especially like watching watching that episode where he came on on on this show I was like this is hard to fucking watch. Yeah, because he He doesn't get why you don't understand him. Yeah, and you Couldn't figure out a way to understand him at all. Yeah, no, I still don't. Well, you don't relate on the same, you know. It's just gotta be that way. Yeah.

Then I was very happy to see the bonus episode. I was worried that my favorite show was gonna be gone. Yeah, we're back, I think. I know. Of course, you haven, I was worried that my favorite show was going to be gone. Yeah, it's we're back. I think, of course you haven't talked to him since his last walk off. No, I haven't. I made a whole bunch of new enemies. So we got something to do. Uh, yeah, I hope Riley doesn't go to jail.

Fuck that. Me too. Uh, okay, buddy. Yeah. You, uh, you guys have go to jail. Fuck that. Yeah, it's... Me too. Okay, buddy. I really... Yeah, you guys have a great rest of your show. I'm going to hang out. And I love you. Thank you.

See ya. I love you. All right, what do we got? What time is it? It's already two? Shit. Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Lady Literature Porn. Hey, Dick. My husband and I have been long time listeners of both shows. And while I was working from home today, I overheard him listening to the most recent episode of the Dick Show. Specifically the bit about Lady Literature Porn. Were we talking about that last week? I don't recall. A little bit. About manhoods and stuff. Remember that? After hearing you say the word manhood several times,

I felt it was my civic duty to hit you with some lady porn education. Okay. Oh yes. For your amusement, obviously. I just have a single question for you. Have you ever heard of the term dark romance? Like racially? I, I- Dark romance?

I've never heard of it. Of getting raped and stuff? What's that? That's what I mean. That's what heard of it. Getting raped and stuff? What's that? That's what I mean. That's what I'm thinking. Is that the genre? Could be. If not, let me send you down a rabbit hole and give you the firsthand look at how the

romance community is getting down these days on the condition that you keep my damn name out of your mouth. Oh, thank God I didn't write your name down. This community is viscous and the only button they love hitting more than the one on their vibrators is the cancel button. Oh. Our books aren't yo mama's Jackie Collins novels, and we opt for cock and dick over manhood now.

Cock and dick. Hors. Below is the first book in a duet that's considered one of the hottest selling dark romances in recent years and features the following tropes. Okay, so women, they aged out of manhood and now all the new women are reading about dicks and cocks and stuff. Okay. They gotta get some... Next Generation's gonna be reading about wieners. He took his big wiener out of his pants. What about dongs? When does that happen? He took his big dong and slapped his Rizder face off

with his big wiener. That's written by your nephews. Yeah, that's what they're gonna like. He took his skibbity dong out of his Sigma pants. Strong wiener, wasn't that a character? Yeah, that was his character. He took his Sigma. Such a great name.

He took his Sigma Jimmy Such a great name. He took his Sigma Jimmy And his long pants and Rizder his Rizzer mouth. Mmm with some skibbity skibbity jizz Jesus my nephews playing baseball that is done. They got a walkout song. Which one the little one? Oh, yeah, cuz the the older one's not athletic right athletic right well he didn't really like it he didn't care yeah but the little ones playing baseball and he goes I need a walkout song so we're all going around songs in MLB yeah yeah we're going around and I'm like use the national

anthem for North Korea right and everybody's going I was like use the ad-non use like the beautiful ad-non And I think it was my girlfriend who said you why aren't you doing skibbity toilet? Hmm. What do you mean? It's like the skibbity toilet song. Why don't you do that one? That's a thing You know the skibbity toilet song. No, why the fuck would I know that? What's the matter with you? Stocking this is what women are reading about stocking dub con and non con, aka rape. Oh, so consensual? Oh, consensual, yeah. Non con- double con- double consent?

Whoa. Huh. Dub con. Kidnapping, psychological trauma, trust me, the least of all the traumas. Psychological trauma, trust me, the least of all the traumas. Blood play, damn. Fucking the FMC with the barrel of a gun and the handle of a knife. Wow, women are reading about this? Damn.

And their manhoods? Uh... This is dark. Murder... What's F? A female main character? Is that what that is? Murder?

You know these, uh, like sexual proclivities groups? Have we ever talked they always have these uh these abbreviations that they don't that they use like, you know, throw around Like we all know them. Yeah, like you go on maps and read the reviews. It's like oh she gave me a dj on my whistle Whistle wand and yeah, then there was a there was some tongue action. What the fuck are you describing? Are you describing a blowjob? Yeah. Murder and gifting the gift of severed limbs?

Ugh. Really? Hmm. What? What do you do with them? Like your arm? Yeah. Ugh.

Or is it somebody else's arm and you just give it as a gift? Jesus. Somnophilia. With it sleeping. Having sex with someone in your sleep? Gotta be somno, I would assume means sleep. Is that? Oh, I guess that's rape, probably, the way they're doing it.

Sleep sex. Hmm. And a shit ton more that I'm forgetting. Yeah. PS, they're not only selling this on Amazon, but now they can be found in your friendly neighborhood Walmart. Oh, these oars.

Man, that's filth. They're getting in Walmart. I've included the links to the Amazon listing as well as the main Goodreads page for the first book so you can see the reviews. And for the record, this is a drop in the bucket. A wild brawl. Let's see what she gave us here yeah

uh-huh that that that uh-huh oh yeah okay uh-huh lit what it was it literature porn literature yeah lady literature porn. Haunting Adrienne. Cat and Mouse Duel. Okay. Haunting Adeline. Oh, I can manipulate the emotions.

So this is like, a ghost sex? Yeah, these ghosts are raping this girl. That's gotta, I mean, that's not a new idea, is it? Nah, I don't think so. It's probably in the Bible somewhere. Oh. Ah, some one-star reviews. I didn't come once. What's the one-star review? You're so fucking creamy, he rasps. What? These bitches have, there's critics for fucking...

...Jack-Off... ...literature? Look, there's critics for everything. What the fuck? Look at the size of this review, Sean! Look at this! I know. This is a 20-page review for...

...a Jack-Off story! Uh... Gloria... Jesus... 530 reviews?! Yeah. Time well spent. Uh, Gloria. Jesus. Five hundred and thirty reviews? Yeah. Time well spent. Could you imagine a guy, a man, who wrote a review this size for like a porno? No.

And so many of them? Well that was absolutely terrible. This book was on my radar because many of the Goodreads' friends who had read Her Soul to Take and Her Soul for Revenge seemed to love this one too. They were both dark stalker romances with kinky smut. This book is shit though. Adeline is so beyond annoying. She's so fucking dumb. I'm tired of women being written like this. Oh yeah, yeah me too. Like in the news. I'm like I'm genuinely personally offended that I have to associate with her because I never do I meet women who are like this in real life. Why do you have to start with like? Like I'm so...

Like I'm so offended that this woman is dumb. I don't... Yeah. Yeah. And by that I mean... And then the next sentence starts with and. And by that I mean these women that act like children that don't have a single logical mature cell in their body it's

insulting and we need to start writing female main characters with some respect can the ghost respectfully fuck her? yeah the ghost has to say like you're so smart you're the smartest woman I've ever raped. HAHAHAHAHAHA There's a sentence I never thought I would hear. Like, I'm so offended that she's so dumb. I've never met a dumb woman in real life and I know a lot of women. Uhhh, this? But if it was well written, you'd still read a ghost fucking novel? What does that say about you?

Yeah, I don't know. This girl was clueless, pathetic, pathetic, and honestly just overall shallow. I have a simi- well she's getting raped by a ghost. What do you want? I have a similar opinion about Ray, the FMC in her soul to take, but in my M.I.O., Adrienne was, Adeline was even worse. Oh my god. Good. Okay. So I gotta go through and read all these, huh?

No. Look at this shit, man. I personally consider it 21 plus, so it can be triggering for some. So they're fucking complaining about triggers in their ghost rape book. But they're, and they're, they're buying it. Like if you want to get into dark romance, don't let this book be your gateway into the genre. It's very graphic.

And I do not condone any of the actions in this book. No shit, it's a ghost raping a woman. I think it seems like it. How could you condone it? Yeah. Sean, don't become a ghost and rape any women, okay? I'll try Fuck are you talking about? What could give people ideas

When he rapes her multi one star from Sydney when he rapes her multiple- one star from Sydney, when he rapes her multiple times, but it's justified because he kills pedophiles and sex traffickers for a living? What the fuck? Yeah, right. I don't know- Oh my god! That's a big review. What the fuck? I don't know why I read this when I know I don't like dark romance,

so that's entirely on me. Uh, it's cause you're an idiot. Uh, this is romanticized abuse. Nothing about this relationship was romantic in the slightest. This is literally a prime example of Stockholm Syndrome. I'm so scared of men it isn't even funny anymore. Who wrote this book? Trump.

Was it a man or a woman who wrote this book? I don't know. Well, who knows? They could use any name they want. I know. I don't like to publicly write mean reviews about books I don't like, but this one deserves it. What is wrong with these women? This book is so incredibly harmful and perpetuates dangerous ideas. I truly cannot fathom how someone can genuinely enjoy this book and then recommend

it on TikTok where there are so many users that are underage. Like my 14 year old sister's friend got a hold of this book and read it? Okay. That's not okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This book literally perpetuates the idea that abuse and rape is normal.

Isn't that the genre though? Yes! You read it you dumb bitch! Isn't it the dark like it's... It's supposed to be about rape and sick stuff so you can read it and get off because you guys are all fucking broken. It's not okay. Uh... If he does the... that a guy can love and take care of you even if he does those horrible things to you. Are you kidding me?

That is so harmful and it's a recipe for disaster. Don't even get me started on the themes of consensual, non-consensual sex in this book. Wait, what is that? Consensual, non-consensual? If it was truly that... Like, okay, no, no, no, yes, no, yes, no. I think that's just normal sex they're describing. I don't know.

If it was truly that... I just don't know enough of these terms. It would be discussed prior to the actual act of sex, rather than him saying stupid shit like, I'm only doing this because I know you want it, after she repeatedly told him no. This is so fucking har... So she's just like reading this whole book raging out about the rape. Well, yeah. Obviously. and beating off i guess this is so fucking harmful to rape victims and belittles

what they went through as it implies that if you even get a little bit of pleasure whilst being raped that it wasn't actually rape i genuinely want to get violent right now. Jesus. Okay, that's a little on the nose there. Maybe dark, what are we gonna call it? I'll show you who's a rapist. Like dark romance novels or whatever you call it. Maybe they're not for you.

Maybe like words aren't for you. If you're gonna like violently beat an author for writing a story, maybe reading isn't for you in general. I know this is fiction, but stuff like this happens in real life. Ghosts? And it's so harmful it has the ability to shape people's way of thinking. I wholeheartedly do not understand how anybody can find this book romantic. The fact that I've seen people on TikTok say that Zayde is their top book BF

genuinely concerns me and isn't something I want to think too much about. Throw up face. I was also attacked on TikTok for saying Zayde's behavior was scary. Specifically the moment where she says she has an IUD and he says he didn't notice because she sleeps so heavily. Okay. All right. Someone said he was just joking. Nothing about violating someone.

Nothing about violating someone in their sleep is funny to me, to be honest. I don't think it's supposed to be funny. It's supposed to get you off. Right. That's the genre of- I would be petrified if someone said that to me. Is this like, this is another universe that they live in?

Women. 51, yeah, okay. Well, yeah, you're right. This is a rabbit hole. Man. Me and Carl should read erotic book reviews from women. That would combine, that combines my love of every, people being stupid, women being fat,

and women being stupid. It might explode from the happiness you get from it. Okay, news segment, firefighter witch hunt. The robot engineer says, oh wait, wait, did I miss that? News segment article. Let me see. I might have pasted it wrong. Yeah, firefighter. There we go. Hey, Dick, for the love of Christ, don't read my name, a Halloween dance There we go. Hey, Dick, for the love of Christ, don't read my name, a Halloween dance at a fire hall

had four shitheads show up in KKK costumes. Oh. Okay. Instead of it being kept within the community and maybe pulling them aside to talk, it turned into a nationwide witch hunt. The fire chief has stated that normal members are receiving death threats and Facebook is inundated with people demanding the names of the four, as well as the names of the members working the door.

Would you believe the deputy chief's apology fell on deaf ears? Yeah. This is a volunteer department. Got it. You can't even be a volunteer fireman and be racist? I mean, you're still putting out fires, right? You could be starting them in some neighborhoods. I guess that's true.

You know, I mean... Their compensation amounts to a minuscule tax credit and fee free vehicle registration due to the paramedic shortage in the province most volunteer fire departments have taken up additional medical training to be able to respond to medical emergencies as well as vehicular accidents and fires. I've never felt more disgusted. Well, you know, you could just not do the cat. Yeah. Okay, guys. Is one of them black at least? Is that guy? Maybe? No? Yeah, it's kind of a dark photo, but... Outrage after guests wearing KKK costumes attend a fire hall dance. Yeah, yeah, that's uh... Costumes wear a racist act. An opportunity to learn? No, I don't think that's gonna work, buddy. No one's a... Uh... Costumes were a racist act. An opportunity to learn? No, I don't think that's gonna work, buddy.

No one wants to hear that shit. They should like dress, make them up like they're dead. And then say, look, we killed them. Take a picture and post it. Okay. See what people do. Yeah. Uh...

Bulldozing in Gaza. Hey, Dick. I'm the TDS artist who did the Sean Show logo and some of the thumbnails a while back. I'm an Israeli guy from Tel Aviv. And you're ranting about how the IDF guy who was bulldozing people in Gaza. Wait, he did a, this an Israeli?

He did the Sean Show logo? Yeah, yeah, he's really good. Let me- Isn't that the SS logo? No, no, know the actual Sean the one on the pint glass. Oh What no, that's not okay that was a different guy made my apologies I just I thought he had a wicked sense of humor look look this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. It's cool Yeah, good artists nav It's great. It's cool.

Yeah. Good artist. Nav, Nadev Halevi. Yeah. Or Halevi. I don't know. Nadev Halevi. I don't know how to say it.

Okay. Nadev. Yeah. Where did that go? I'm an Israeli guy from Tel Aviv and you rant about the IDF guy who was bulldozing people in Gaza close to home for me.

You remember that guy we talked about last week? Yes, yes I do. During my IDF service, I was exposed to some horrifying imagery myself, but not as horrible as my colleagues' indifference to it. I've been echoing the whole, are we the baddies sentiment for ages now. And every time I do,

I'm always labeled as a lefty trader. I hope you understand the level of indoctrination that people go through here and how extreme it is compared to the US. Yeah, I mean... Extreme it is compared to the US. I don't know about that. Yeah, I don't know. We got a lot of guys.

There's indoctrination going on everywhere. Some more than others, but... There are mandatory high school programs in Israel that prepare you for the army and how to behave there as service guarantees citizenship, like in Starship Troopers. We have that. I know a guy, guy I knew in high school,

the guy who ran that, his son went to Afghanistan. The guy who ran what? The ROTC program. Oh, yeah. Came back and killed himself. Yeah. And I thought, well, that's gotta be a little jarring. Cause he saw some fucking shitty, couldn't deal with.

Programs engineered to ship kids off to war, isn't it? I mean... Maybe we should not do that. Maybe we should just rely on Major League Baseball and football to brainwash them. We don't need to do it in school anymore, do we? I think you're kind of, you know, not fair. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh yeah mandatory high programs. The army has systems in place to weed out people who are unable to handle it well.

Yeah, I don't know that- I'm sure the army's checking up on making sure their system is doing a good job. That's the thing. I mean, you're supposed to, there's like psych tests for all that kind of stuff. I don't think anybody, I don't think any of them are near good enough,

whether it's cops, army, what have you. The people that are okay with going over and bulldozing kids, living kids, I don't want to be doing it either. You know? Oh, right. I don't want the people who are not gonna be able to handle it.

I definitely don't want the people who are gonna be able to handle it doing it. Yeah, yeah. It's not the system I'm sure works or doesn't work. It's the system exists I have a problem with. I get it. Yeah, but a lot of them slipped through. One of my high school friends killed himself in the first few months of service. The ones who get released are severely damaged and are the shit that I have to deal with on a daily basis here. The entire country runs on copium and superiority complex. The

cultural impact of it is so insane that people talk in army slang and terms outside of their service. Wow. Because the whole country goes to the military. That's right. Yeah. Which I also don't understand. How is it terrorism if everybody's a reservist? Oh, you mean, cause it's, well, they've become citizens again or civilians again. Yeah, like they literally are, you know, you can't even say that, well, they're not,

I guess like the 80 year old man, he's probably not a reservist anymore. Probably not. Okay. I see what you're saying. The cultural impact is, God, that's gotta be annoying using army sling. Right. I heard random people recite the purity of arms and how the IDF is the most moral army

in the world. Too many times. They actually believe it. Yeah. Don't worry. They believe it here too. Oh, sure. Sure.

We do all this with your tax money, by the way. I mean, it's generous of you as an Israeli to say any money is mine you know. I appreciate the the you know I like the idea. I think the only reason I'm not like this is because I grew up on the internet and was exposed to a diverse range of opinions and backgrounds. Please don't hate on Israelis too much. A lot of us hate this place too. Don't worry, I'll know when I've done it too much. A lot of us hate this place too

and don't even want to be here. God, that's gotta suck. Yeah. I hate just everybody leave and move Israel to Vermont. Like just pick it up, scoop it out with a big excavator like in DuckTales, drop it in Vermont and then be done with the whole thing. Okay.

A lot of us hate this place too and don't even want to be here. The more intelligent and rich Israelis have already caught up on all the Zionist bullshit and are leaving when they can. Yeah, that had to be an interesting... Exodus. Anyway, thank you for all the great content and keep the truth bombs coming. Well, thank you. Sorry that happened to you. Mmm, sucks over there, you know. Yeah. Sucks that the reality of every, of all people is that a very small amount, very small amount, could do and want to do all the killing and about half of every other group wants them to do it and needs to justify it

to the other half who don't want them to do it. You know? Because it makes everybody kind of not wrong. Like, we're going to kill those guys because a couple of their guys came over and killed us. Like, well that's wrong. Not really because half of them support it. Like, oh, I mean, yeah, I guess you're kind of right.

It's not going to help. I don't care. I just want to go kill him. Aaaaaaaah, okay? Now, let me know how it works out. Alright, we're going a little long, aren't we? Uh, yeah, we're over two. We're over two. Okay.

I got an animal corner for you. Oh, really? Okay. Aaaaa Sean's Animal Corner. Uh, are you ready? This is Jubb. Uh, we'll see. We'll see if I'm ready. Okay. Get your, get yourself, get yourself focused.

Okay. Jubb says one, octopuses have blue blood from copper-based hemocyanin, which is better for low oxygen environments than our iron-based hemoglobin. Uh-huh. You knew that. Yes. I did not know that seals have green blood, as was pointed out to...

Really? A couple of years or two ago. That's what I was told. I did not know. I actually have not checked, but I did not know that. I fucking forgot to press go live on Vimeo today, didn't I? God damn it. Really? I think so yes

Well, it's too late now good I'm not skunked The biggest octopus ever found was 30 feet across and 600 pounds. Did you know that I? Know that the Pacific giant octopus gets big how big would you think? Well, I mean, I don't know if I would guess 30 feet. They're talking arm to arm. Yeah, but like how big do you think a big octopus is? Well, I've seen them next to divers and stuff that are huge.

I mean, I don't know. I probably would have said smaller than 30 feet across, but I would have never thought of it. Oh, not, you know, I don't know, 20 feet from tip to tip. Let me put it this way. That's pretty good. I know they don't get, I know they don't get I know they're not I know they're bigger than five I mean their arms can be longer than that. Okay, I'm gonna give it to you because that's the biggest That's not really a fact about octopus is that's a fact about one octopus, right?

You know, that's not really the but I mean, yeah, that's not really the giant giant octopus get get very large Giant octopus get very large. Okay, three. When octopuses are classified as the most intelligent invertebrate, most of the intelligence comes from nerve clusters in each of their tentacles that act semi-independently of each other. You did know that? I did, yeah. Man, Jeb, you fucking suck.

They sort of have a brain in each of their arms. So it's not about their real brain? No, they have that too. They have that too. In Sean's animal corner. If Sean gets all these right, my apologies for being stupid. Yeah, you do owe an apology.

Okay, let's wrap it up with this. I got an erotic story here too. I got really sucked into the reviews for those books. This is a new Veto song. Hey Dick, I've remade Maddox's My Livelihood song, but with Veto on vocals. It's called My Property. This is from Your Man Martian.

He super chatted the biggest problem asking why I didn't play the song on that show. Dude, it's too soon. It's not funny. Right, he's gonna, you gotta read the room a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's ever gonna be funny to be quite honest. Maybe not.

It's just something we kind of have to dance around. I don't know. But here, I'll play it. I'll play it for your amusement. Okay. It's because I asked for it. The royal you. Did I not save it? That's here.

Mmm-hmm. There you go. Here we go. Oh wait, I'll do the show. Uh, yeah, okay. My property. Stop doing after my property. My property.

Stop doing after my property My property Stop doing after my property Now you're trespassing Passing my property Now you're trespassing Passing private property I'm setting boundaries I have to I have to

I have to I'm setting boundaries I have to I have to I have to I have to I'm setting boundaries I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have is, I can't have people come onto my property. My property. Stop going at my property. He puts George in there. Stop going at my property.

There's a very good chance he could come onto my private property. There's a very good chance he could come onto my private property. No one's coming in your private property I'm setting boundaries, I have to No one's ever wed I have to, I'm setting boundaries I have to, I have to I have to, I'm setting boundaries

I have to, I have to I have to, I'm setting boundaries I have to, I have to I have to, I have to There's a very good chance he could come onto my private property There's a very good chance he could come onto my private property There's a very good chance He says he's gonna do it

There's a very good chance You don't wanna set boundaries for your fans and that's fucked Oh fuck you, what are you talking about? My property, my property. My property. You don't want to set boundaries for your fans and that's fine. Ah, thank you very much, your man Martian. Alright everybody, that's been The Dick Show. Page of your comments section.

The Dick Show, I'll see you next Tuesday. Great. Great pattern, then, just killed by this stupid today every time. To the end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, I did save it! I did not save the voicemails that I downloaded on the other computer. Oh no. Let's see here. Oh no. Okay, here we go.

You're making my wife cry with the baby talk thing. Tell him. You're making fun of me. Stop making fun of my wife. She's doing a good job. She's doing her best, come on. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to fucking deal with this all day now.

You fucking bitch. I gotta listen to her be sad. Baby talk. We were making fun of women who do baby talk and the biggest problem. Well I was. Vito loves it. Oh, got it. He was acting like a retarded person.

Oh. As a woman doing baby talk. Got it. You know how they do that. Yes, I've heard some do. Yeah. Hey, Dick. So my parents just they got back from a trip to New York and I live in LA. So they bring me a souvenir. And what did my mom hand me other than a zip-up hoodie That says New York on it well, I live in LA during the middle of the World Series of

LA versus New York. Yeah, like I can't fucking wear this. Come on Well, anyway, don't fuck yourself. It's not cold enough to wear it. Well, you know, also people getting you like shirts where places they've been to. Yeah. Like you wear it and you're like, I wouldn't, I didn't go here. Yeah, I know. So why would I, how am I supposed to wear this?

And someone's like, oh yeah, Australia. What did you, did you like it? Like why didn't you go to Australia? Yeah, I did go, yeah, I was a gift. Somebody that went there got it for me. Yeah, that's true, that happened. Not really a very good gift. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe from a musical race, maybe from a foreign country. Yeah, maybe. But then that is still annoying. Weak, fake drums. They are. Yes. Back me up, Sean. OK. They're terrible, fucking terrible. Just take the foundation of a song and suck all the life out of it. It's nothing.

It sounds like shit. What is the, are they so cheap? Are they too cheap to get a real drum, a real drum kit on recordings? How much money are they actually saving? Because it's- What is he talking about? Do you know?

I don't know if he's talking about samples or if he's talking about like the Roland kits, like electronic drums. You know, it's all based on how good the samples are and the samples now are phenomenal. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. No, I mean, just so you know, most big rock songs,

most big rock songs, most big production that where it's a band and a live drummer, most of those are at least sample augmented. Yeah, they gotta be. If not replaced altogether. Like anything that Chris Lord Algy mixes, any of that shit, those are samples. What does he mix? Anything from Green Day to My Chemical Romance to like fucking any of those records. This guy doesn't know what he's listening to.

They're all at least augmented. They've been doing this for decades too. It was a lot harder to line them up before but... Yeah, they need like a show where they get guys like this. They're like, okay, and we put them in a little booth. And like, okay, we're gonna play a song and you say if it's real drums or not, and then if they get it wrong, the floor drops them into a volcano. Yeah, I mean, you're, yeah, no, you're,

it's what you've been hearing. It's what you've been hearing. You know, it's great to, you know, it's great to have a phenomenal room and a great drummer and a great drum kit and everything mic'd just perfectly. And the budgets aren't there to spend a week getting a snare drum sound. Yeah.

I mean, it's- It's a waste of time. Think of the way Steely Dan used to make records. I mean, it would take him a week to find a comfortable chair. That was when records were hundreds of thousands of, you know, of budgets. Now you remove a zero. Yeah. You know? So it, yeah, thousands of, you know, budgets, now you remove a zero. Yeah.

You know? So it, yeah, it's, believe me, you've heard plenty of records that you did not know were samples, you know? Hey there, guys, Sean. My rage is when my girlfriend wants to show me, like, a quote unquote cool YouTube documentary from a YouTuber she likes, and she shows me it and

The youtuber because it's in classic like, you know You too, but fashion is sitting there truck like it takes fucking 20 minutes for the guy to get to the topic For real. Yeah, he's like just sitting there going like okay. Look at this set. Oh my god Oh, dude, my hair is fucked up in that shot and then it like fucking goes back I know about vampires and then oh wait, um, is it my fucking background? So shit and then I put on a video and it fucking gets to the point the meat and potatoes of what I want to show her within like Seconds it's like are you fucking? Oh my god. Don't show me shit ever again

You got to have Chad GPT explain it to her give her a little report card Yeah, putting all you bitches on blast and more cards got it Hey dick. Hey Sean. Yeah, this is the guy that left the voicemail with the day like three or four weeks ago Nothing, but they related today. I was actually calling to ask Sean a question. Sean, I'm about to do a guitar build by the by DIY kit. And I'm torn between the Iceman and the Explorer. I want to do something kind of wacky. Any advice? Or just which one you prefer? Which one's your favorite? That's it. All right. Fuck you, Dave. What do you think?

Iceman guitar? You know what? Um... Are they made by Dean? Is that a... Is it Ibanez? Dean? What is it? This is the Iceman? Okay, it's like blown... Oh, Ibanez. Yeah, yeah, it? This is the Iceman?

Okay, it's like blue. Oh, Ibanez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've seen Paul Gilbert play one. The Explorer is that one that looks like the 80s hair metal guitar? No, Explorer, they've made since the very late 50s. It was one of three. I'll do a little mini guitar talk. Okay, so there were three radical designs

in the late fifties that Gibson did. Okay. The Flying V, which you know what that looks like. They were made out of Karina wood too, which is like kind of an African mahogany. The Flying V, the Explorer and the Modern, or modern or modern. They never went into production.

Modern. Modern. I think it's got an E at the end. Modern with now that one never went into production. And there's been talk for years that there are, there's a prototype somewhere, but nobody's ever seen it. They made one later based on the plans. But, yeah, see how it looks like it, yeah.

Oh, it looks weird. So those are the three futuristic radical designs. That's the one that they never made at the time, allegedly. Although, it looks like Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top swears he's seen one. I mean, there's all this, who the fuck knows? So anyway, yeah, they made one later, but not- It's like a sassy flying V. Yes- It's like a sassy flying V.

Yes, it's like a sassy flying V. Yeah, I couldn't remember if the Iceman was, cause like I'm not into radical guitar shapes. I'm pretty boring. So it's, yeah, it is Ibanez, the Iceman. I don't know, man, do the Iceman. I've seen a million explorers do the Iceman. Yeah, that's true.

It's kind of, it's fucking off the wall and it's actually sort of cool in a really weird way. Like I would never play it, but. Why? Cause it has a little thing on it. I don't know. It's just kind of weird. I don't know.

Maybe it, maybe I would play it and fall in love with it. Okay. There you go. Yeah, sure. That's. Oh, sorry. It's lasted about. It's Sean's guitar talk.

Sorry, blasted it out. It's Sean's Guitar Talk! Uhhhh, okay, well good luck with that, sir. Okay. This one. No, no Sean! Do not recommend the new fenders! All the guitar guys are calling in with their gear in a bag, you can check it out. Yeah, well, all potentiometers are dog shit. They're all just producer knobs. They're all just jaguars with extra switches. The Ultra 2 is good for what it is, but the fenders...

All right, I won't recommend them. Okay, take it to Gear Sluts, sir. Gear Sluts, I think it's been renamed because of sluts. Oh yeah, what do they call it? Autistic weirdos? No, Gear, I can't remember what they call them. That is the worst board fucking ever. It's the, somebody put it perfectly as,

it's the blind leading the deaf. Yeah. And it's, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but just from what people have told me, I don't have a lot of experience with the new Fenders, but yeah. I still stand by the statement that cheap guitars are better now than they've ever been.

Really, why? Because they're just- Chinese wood? Well, no, just the, no, like the machines are, build them into tighter tolerances. Yeah, they're just better. I mean, it's, but yeah, he talks about the potentiometers. They haven't made any-

How can you fuck up a potentiometer? Nothing's linear. Like they didn't like it. And there haven't been in decades. Like literally you, because those things used to be everywhere. They used to be in B-52s. They were all military spec.

So they're not any good anymore? No, shit. Like can you make them just transistors or that's not it? Yeah, there's some companies that are making them in small batches that are better. But it's like, that's, they always say the best way to like wake up a Gibson Les Paul is to get an old wiring harness and you'll go, you have no idea how good that guitar actually probably

sounds. Oh, hey there, Dick. Hey there, Tom. It's just junk. Yeah. My name is Ernesto. I am a long time listener. First time caller.

I just wanted to say, you know, I'm a long time listener. I'm a long time listener. I'm a long time listener. I'm a long time listener. I'm a long time listener. I'm a long time listener. I am a long time listener, first time caller. I just wanted to say that, you know the dick doll is a big part of my life. I've been listening to the original Biggie Bravo and you got all of this. From the bird cage?

What is this guy? Yeah, right. Hercules? A guy who moved on from that Maddox guy. He was such a right. Right. Hercules? Yeah. But you know, it fills me with

joy having taken my life. It fills my whole in my thoughts. You know what I mean. I just love having taken my ears. You know, taking my hand, you for listening. I just love having dick in my ear. Okay. You know? Okay. Dick in my hand, but I'm holding my phone and listening to you.

Right, right, right. Sometimes I like to have dick in my mouth. Oh, I'm just kidding. Oh, unless you know, you're serious. But also you can bring someone. But don't bring Vito to a Twiggy meetup. Yeah, just a meetup. Because I don't like cat either.

No, no. So, you can push on. Is that a cat? Yeah, certainly. I'm raping the cat. And I love you guys. No, no. Is that a cat? I'm raping the cat. I love you guys. Alright, I hope that was your real voice. That'd be great. Here we go.

I actually called in last time about the D&D wheelchairs. This time I'm calling in about your D&D consent forms you're talking about. So this is actually a little bit bigger of an issue at least in you know the community bigger issue because you've got the everyone on the left side of the spectrum they're all screaming about how the consent form is plagiarized from like previous that D&D works for like other games in fact there was actually a consent form at least well got god, forever ago, by this guy named Monty Cook, who's a big writer in the scene. And his consent form had like, you know, more things that were like, you might not want in the game,

like in his checkboxes, he's got genocide on there and stuff. And he got laughed at. It was absurd then. And it's absurd now. But the real absurdity is that all the people that are in D&D that want this kind of thing they're just pissed because it's not original it's plagiarized out of other books and stuff and and like they're they're criticizing that that D&D isn't innovating the the form enough okay the form enough. Oh, OK. The form is not progressive enough. The gaming spectrum, which is probably a good 80% of the people that actually play the fucking game, is like they're they're making all these new rules.

This new book coming out you're talking about. It's like they're rebranding D&D for all these people that watch Stranger Things and listen to D&D. Oh, sure. Yeah, that makes sense. It's fucking up the game, bro. For all these people that watch stranger things and listen to D&D Bro and everyone who likes the game they're just like, you know, like D&D as it was, you know sword sorcery fucking Big dude fighting dragons genocide. They're just fucking off to other games because D&D is becoming those weird Inclusivity circle jerk that even people who want it are getting pissed off about it because it's not the right kind. Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting little tidbit. Yeah, because it is. D&D got crammed into like normal space and like three front.

From what people tell me, that's like what happened to Comic Con. Like it became hip and then they became like an ad venue for movies. Sure. And mainstream and total mainstream shit, right? the idea of trying to get like a bunch of like a mixed company group who watches Dan Harmon's like D&D show or stranger things to sit down with like Obsessive actual D&D people and play together is like totally retarded. I don't know that it can be done. No. And the people who are obsessively keeping track of minutia of their characters and in an imaginary world are not going to appreciate all this

hand-wavy triggering shit. It's not gonna work. Yeah. They're gonna need to put a number to it, you know? Yeah. But so good luck, I guess. Alright, let's go. Goodbye everybody. See ya. Thank you.