The Dick Show - Episode 463 - Dick on The Grave Digger

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

ROAD RAGE: BOSTON x WATP LIVE - JUNE 21st- live.dick.show A fat woman makes a run at the alt-right, I get free air conditioning for life, baby advice to ignore the haters, young men are the laziest ge...neration--again, Asmongold watches my clips, the Grave Digger writes in about solving more murders and playing with the cops, drugs for your health, Tinder implements a height filter, and Michael Vick fights the LAPD dogs; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Let's start it. Let's just go. Let's just fucking go for it, dude. Let's just fucking do it, man. I don't even have my notes in order. I don't have any notes. That's how unprepared I am. That's the life, man. That's the fucking life.
Starting point is 00:00:17 It really is. I don't know how it's so hard to just, you know, show up and... Do nothing? Just don't be pissing people off on Twitter. You're right. I need you to make a journal like Captain Kurtz style to show your 10-year descent into madness in that, sitting in that seat. You know? I should, right?
Starting point is 00:00:43 Give me the... Give us the Sean perspective. Where it starts, it starts all fun and games. Is this working? Can you hear this? That's working. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, give me a, start journaling. Yeah, I'll start writing.
Starting point is 00:00:57 I'll overwrite what he already wrote in this book. Sean left a secret diary back there, starting as a normal, mild-mannered audio engineer, you know, back in my apartment in Hollywood that's now a, it's a homeless encampment. They built a, my old apartment, the Fontanoi, in Hollywood, this beautiful 1930s building. Does it sound okay? Yeah. Let me make sure it's on over here. Yep. On there. On there. Somebody say something if it's not okay. This beautiful 1930s building, the men, the male actors from the 1930s in Hollywood,
Starting point is 00:01:32 stayed in my building, De Fontenoy, and the Fleur de Lis, this little, slightly shittier building, next to it is where the lady actors, actresses, they called them back then. They stayed there. So every room, every apartment over there has like a fur closet, like a cedar lined fur closet. Not, I'm not kidding. I knew a very good friend of mine lived over there on the,
Starting point is 00:01:59 she lived over there. We can see each other. They've built a scaffolding around the buildings now for the homeless to clamber up and climb over and shoot up fentanyl and crocodile and hopium, whatever they're shooting up. Sounds about right. So that's where Sean started,
Starting point is 00:02:21 before the homeless scaffolding, and he started keeping a diary that like in a video game slowly becomes unhinged, you know? It was the homeless scaffolding that got built in his soul, you know? Yeah, yeah, as the blackness, little pieces of your soul you lose. They get knocked off here and there.
Starting point is 00:02:40 You don't, you know, something just doesn't go your way. You know, life kind of takes little pieces off and the blackness fills in the gaps. Well, I was thinking the image you gave a long time ago of it's like if you were trying to protect this whole like arm full of marbles, right? Yeah. And someone takes one and before you know it.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Oh no, oh shit, I'm running out of marbles here. Before you know it, you're like, wait a second. You can give one or two away, no problem. That's why you have a kid, for like, to someone, hey can you collect these marbles? Daddy's losing a lot of marbles over here, can you grab some of them? Should I put them back? I honestly don't care at this point, just grab them. See what you can do.
Starting point is 00:03:30 So keep it, start a journal, keep the journal and you see if it aligns with his because there's at some point, there has to be a point that I can travel back in time to and prevent the turn. The problem is- Because we missed Sean. That's what I'm saying with yes Sean no absolutely yeah the problem is I already made it past my 10-year streak in the audio world so I kind of you're already broken I'm already
Starting point is 00:03:54 broken oh well that's good being already broken is good yeah you start out broken hmm look at this Vanta black printing that I have here on my notes. Oh, oh! Looks like fresh toner. Fresh toner. Oh, fresh toner. Look at this. I could read this from, I could read this from a hundred paces. Electrical Joe says I'm glad Johnny is not a meth head. I could read that from across the room. Man, I'm also glad Johnny is not a meth head. Woo! I could read that from across the room. Man, I'm also glad I'm not a meth head. Spoiling myself with this beautiful black. All right, let's do a show.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Presenting Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Oh, I'm listening a little bit this time. Dick.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. I wanna shout, but I'm not going to. Dick. Dick. Dick. I'm not going to. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:04:47 A little more. A little more umph! A little more pushing for your cushion. Listening. You want dick? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, AKA the $20 million man. They spent about two bucks on the ears out of that 20 million.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Joining me is always Johnny the Audio Engineer. What's up, man? What's up, Dick? Boston, are you ready for Boston? I'm ready for Boston. Live.dick.show, buy tickets for Boston live. Dick. Show buy tickets for Boston Also check out the WATP crossover episode that we have up right now some kind of poop fetish we went over and Jesus yeah, I forget the other one the other one was an only fans girl and a
Starting point is 00:05:41 Simp and it's just like you just, you can taste the murder. You can, you know? Like, yeah, I would want to kill, if I had, OnlyFans guys, it's like, it's basically like a divorce, right? Like, you meet a guy, you meet any divorce, you're like, oh, you meet the guy, right? Oh, you just divorced your wife?
Starting point is 00:05:58 You know that he, you don't talk about it with him, but you're like, you obviously want to kill her, right? Like, she's, this cost you how much, a million dollars? You're losing your house? You gotta go, like, drive to see your kid, or you're a bad guy? Like, I would want to kill, I mean, I would want to kill whoever did that to me,
Starting point is 00:06:16 especially if it was a woman. That's, mm-hmm. I'm paying her for, I'm paying you for what, exactly? The sex wasn't that good. Maybe it was good for about six months, but no, no,? The sex wasn't that good. Maybe it was good for about six months, but no, no, no, it wasn't that good. That's what I feel when I listen to these, the OnlyFans simps talk about the OnlyFans girl.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I'm like, you really, I know you want to murder her. I mean, I know you're just waiting for the, waiting for it to align. So check that out. Man, what a crossover. That was a fun crossover. And we're going to be crossing over in Boston. We got to get our tickets today, Johnny.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Cool. Oh, I was going to start with this Kanye song. You smell that? He took out the Heil Hitler part and put Hallelujah. Flipped the script on him, you know? Take that. Now everyone does like the song. Now you can't stop it, but everybody in the audience is thinking, you know.
Starting point is 00:07:15 You know what we're thinking. Well, now you can't say Hallelujah, probably. Oh, that's gonna be anti-Semitic. Like Christ is King. Yes. Man, the quote unquote Christian influencers are really twisting themselves into a pretzel, talking about how, well you see,
Starting point is 00:07:33 they're saying Christ is King, but they're saying it as a means of antagonizing. Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa. Like yeah, buddy, who do you think your audience is exactly? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If I was Iphone Israel I wouldn't be saying, hey saying Christ is king is anti-semitic. Woohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo Now I'll wait, just I'll wait right here with my eyes closed and my pants with no belt on and For you to make up your minds. Shoop pants down Do you feel the do you feel the air in here? I do does it feel It feels better some does it fit. Can you does it feel better for you? It's a very crisp AC.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Johnny, it's crispier than ever. Yeah. Because this air that's coming into my house right now is free air from the solar panels on my house. It's free air from God. Oh, shit. I've harnessed the power of God through my solar into my air conditioning machine into my heat pump machine.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Hell yeah. Blowing free cool air all over the house. Look at this graph. Look at this graph of my house of my solar panel graph. That's probably why the page printed out so well too. Look at this bro. Look, you see that graph? You see that big hump on top? That's great. You see that tiny little dip below the line?
Starting point is 00:09:31 That's the amount I'm using. The big hump is the free electricity. Oh, I... What's a rolling blackout anymore? I don't know. What are boobs? I don't know. I'm gonna plug one of those Widowmaker plugs with the two male ends on both sides into my power inverter. I already looked it up.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Fuck rolling blackout. Oh, I'm the fucking power man, baby! I go up and down the sh- I got a big extension cord, a 5,000 foot extension cord. I go knocking house to house. Hey, can I give you guys some free power? I've got double the power I need over there. I'm running every fuckin' thing I have in my house over there all at the same time to drown out the ringing in my fucking head!
Starting point is 00:10:14 I'm running it all, the toaster, the washing machine, I bought an extra, I'm buying extra appliances so I can just run them all day. I've got the air cranked all the way up, I've got the air cranked all the way up. I've got the central heating turned all the way up. And I've got the air conditioners turned all the way up. I've got six sound machines in every room. I've got an air filter.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I've got all the HEPA filters going at once. And I walk by each one. I'm charging. I've got a decharger for my devices so I can decharge it and then switch it real fast. And I'm thinking, wow, so you've got extra power, that means the guy sold you a system more powerful than you need to fuck you over on the loan. I say, I'm not thinking about that now.
Starting point is 00:10:58 That's a time for nighttime thinking. That's a nighttime thinking problem. Right now I'm thinking about the abundance of I'm gonna run a bit more Bitcoin miner And then I go search how much power does a Bitcoin miner need and it's like not way more than that I said, that's okay. That's okay That's fine I Can charge a remote control car? Let me see this remote control cars. Yes, absolutely. Oh Swimming in power swimming in power ah I don't care that
Starting point is 00:11:28 they cut down my neighbor's Bogan via plant anymore I don't give a fuck about anything I got all the power I need speaking of that plant I noticed you have a new mini deck a mini deck in your front yard Well more like a well cuz okay cuz they had to replace my electricity panel for the power right so they they upgraded my Whole electrical system for free. I don't I was like you guys are man You guys must really be fucking me on this loan cuz that's cuz that's like an eight thousand dollar Replacement job and the code is you can't just see in the 70s at $8,000 replacement shop. And the code is, you can't just see in the 70s, you could put your electricity panel
Starting point is 00:12:07 and if it was 20 feet off the ground, or if it was like over a pit of lava, like Mario, like a Mario level, that was fine. But now you have to have, now everything, everything in society now has to be, you have to be a fat disabled lesbian, or else it's not up to code, right? Could a fat disabled, could a fat lesbian in a wheelchair work this?
Starting point is 00:12:30 Well, no. I mean, it's a, first of all, it's electricity. So, no. Why would I want a fat lady in a wheelchair dicking around with my electricity panel? I wouldn't. So, no. I've built this as a trap actually. So only a man could come back here and you need two men to stand, one standing on the other shoulders to access my old electricity panel. But they said, no, that's not gonna pass the inspector.
Starting point is 00:12:57 We need to build you a little mini deck. I said, well, I have bad experiences with decks guys. So, you know know do it right. Wasn't say I saw that but then I saw a chop to shit Bogan Via plant As your new sidewalk I'm leaving that out as a warning to all the neighbors Don't fuck with me or I'll chop up your beloved plants cuz all old people you know yeah, so they're like I Don't know like I don't know if it's true,
Starting point is 00:13:26 but I feel like they're looking at their houses like I'm gonna die here, so it's like, everything in their house is like a mausoleum to themselves. Like, all right, this ring of little bricks needs to be, and I'm like, having a kid, so I'm like, all right, I'm looking at this like, this is bumper is bumper bowling like I need to knock this shit down and put some padding over here, so Fuck what you're doing. This is what I'm doing fucking
Starting point is 00:13:56 And I'm gonna tell him I know go ahead go fuck around over there. Yeah, go do whatever you want daddy doesn't care Let's just be just between you and me do whatever you want fucking go for it I actually I fucking hate I'm itching to get into an argument with everybody So and I'm pent up because you've pissed me off for about five years Right you have you have been fucking with me. You've been fucking with daddy's sleep. This is I'm this is a speech I'm gonna give to my son when he's I don't know five years old. Whenever you can, whenever that, there's a moment when you can tell between right and wrong.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Like at first your baby's it's just like reaction or no reaction. But then that evolves for most people. For the people that built, you know, western civilization. It evolved into, it evolved into a, oh, oh, the reaction could be right or wrong. I'm gonna say, look son, do the wrong one, you know? I wanna get into at least one fight a week with administrators and teachers. I'm fucking gunning for it. That's... you've been waiting your whole life for this. So... don't tell him!
Starting point is 00:15:14 Don't tell him! Right. Don't tell your mother about this. You know? Right, it's the father-son secret pact of I need to yell at somebody. Here you go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:27 There you go. I got a lot of trauma, and I need to, and I need a reason to do it. If I just show up at an elementary school and start punching people, you know, punching teachers, I'll go to jail. But if somebody told you something about being gay when you were nine, yeah, let me know. I'm gonna come in come in you call my son you suck my son about get fucked in the ass
Starting point is 00:15:54 Just excited for the praying for this moment That's a good nighttime thought you said what about gender issues? I said gender tissues. Oh That's what I'm waiting for, you know? Can I request the... Do you have any teachers who have pride shit all in their classroom? Yeah, that's the one. That's the one I want. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Right? Parent-teacher conference. Hello! Here's daddy! What's this shit? Waaah! Nobody ever's ripped the pride flag off of the wall before. Well, you could just do whatever you want. Yeah, call the cops. I don't give a fuck. I got to say that's probably the hardest part about being a parent in the
Starting point is 00:16:35 modern age. I would imagine is how do you not? I do not agree with your kid on something they did wrong. You know, we all went to school. I do. I don't care at all right., that's what it's like. Oh, I'm going in with, yeah, that's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Somebody, my wife, you know, she's pregnant and a teacher. So it's like, the kids are like, and she teaches fifth grade, so the kids are like, oh, you know, like they know now how that happens. Young kids are like, I, you know? Like, they know now how that happens. Young kids are like, I don't know, she's just fat. The bitch is just fat, right? But fourth, fifth, sixth graders are like,
Starting point is 00:17:12 oh, it's do that. Whoa! Right? ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 00:17:28 I told you before the show, you're the only guy, you're the only guy, and I mean this absolutely seriously, Johnny, you're the only guy that's better, or not better, excuse me, but is great on weed. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:44 I've s- everybody else is a fucking disaster when they do drugs, smoke, uh, drink too much, or... Or the worst one, the radio killer smoke weed, right? They'll respond to something that you said like two weeks ago, like, Ha ha ha, yeah, Emancipation Proclamation, like, what the fuck are you talking about and you get to learn you're like yeah I know what you're responding to but it was fucking two weeks ago bro mm-hmm it's Christmas now we're talking about Christmas stories um that is not very Christmassy and it gives me because I've always said people shouldn't drink except for me I've always thought I was a hypocrite for saying that like what do you mean you can't you can't, you're no exception. Like that's how you get, that's how you become an addict. You start thinking, well, I'm the exception.
Starting point is 00:18:28 No, wrong. But your ability to smoke weed and then nail it lets me put some credence into my, well, actually I can have a couple beers and I'm better. I'm okay. There's a very, you have to find what works for you, right? Yeah, cuz I know people like you you can drink like I smoke. Yeah Yeah, let's go with that. Yeah. Yeah, I can't drink like you drink
Starting point is 00:18:55 And you can't smoke like I smoke you shouldn't it'll fuck up your ears Don't make me say yeah, and then I'll go. Oh my god. I went to the I have my my TMJ, what was I talking about, something with my son? Yes. I forget what I was talking about. I went to my TMJ therapist, right? And she's getting my history. And you know, I have this thing
Starting point is 00:19:20 about telling the truth to doctors. And I'm the only person that does this. So when I tell them, you know what I've been up to they're like oh what it's like everybody comes in here with problems and you know you say like what drugs have you done they're like none never I never thought of doing but she goes she gets she gets me down she's got me on my back and she's like digging into my neck muscles like oh Shit and I I'm there with a bad attitude like I think it's bullshit like there's no way There's gonna fix the fucking ringing in my ears. I'm gonna need to sacrifice a child not mine
Starting point is 00:19:58 To a Moloch to get rid of it like I know was sleeping, and I entered a sort of limbo. I entered a sort of a dream state while I was sleeping, but I knew what it was. And it was like all this, backwards talking, I was like, okay, I gotta sacrifice a baby to, you know, the Aztec god of Mihoc Tic Tuan to get rid of the curse of my hearing.
Starting point is 00:20:22 I gotta kill an infant, you know. I got it. Message received, okay. Push them right into the cenote. Not my kid, but another kid. I got it, okay, fine. I'll think about it. So I'm on my TMJ therapy with a horrible attitude,
Starting point is 00:20:37 and she's hammering my neck, like crooked. I'm like, oh my God, I'm like, okay okay, don't react too much or she'll think you're a pussy and then she'll back off, right? I'm in that state, like woohoo, drooling on the side of my mouth. And I'm like, oh, she's like, it's okay. And I'm like, yeah, honey, you have no idea. I've been trying to get, I've been trying to get a masseuse to do what you're doing right now for probably 20 years. I've been trying to talk them and and you know you get to a massager and you're like look just go hard like
Starting point is 00:21:12 This and she goes Yeah, that's because they know they know physical therapy I physical therapy You physical therapy you got it I don't know if it's gonna work, but you know That is they call me the power man I go up and down the street with my extension cord you guys need to charge courtesy of God I'm here on behalf of my power from God. They say, what's up, Power Daddy?
Starting point is 00:21:49 Power Daddy, they call me. Hey, Power Daddy? I go down the street. I go down to Skid Row with my 30-mile extension cord that I have. I drag it behind me. Yo, hey, and I play the hallelujah song. It's a good- Gonna Hallelujah!
Starting point is 00:22:05 One of those giant, uh, like cable trucks. Yeah! I'm in the back winding it up, you know? Man. It's a Pow Daddy! Yeah, Pow Dad- Hey, what's up, Homeless? You guys need a blender or something to go here? Bring your devices over. I'll give you a free charge. Dude, yeah, solar is much- Sigh.
Starting point is 00:22:24 As much as I was so against it, Yeah. Charge. Dude, yeah, solar is much, as much as I was so against it, Yeah. All my audio shit's nice and clean now, because it's running off batteries, not shitty city power. Yeah. Fucking power companies, stupid. They really fucked up.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Yeah, they fucked up. Solar, it's kind of great, man. They're fucking dumb, good, fuck them. I got my own power now. I don't need you anymore fucking piece of shit Few pieces of shit man. I'm gonna feed I'm gonna fuck with the thing so it feeds them dirty power back into the thing I wait till it's peak hours, and then I do all my laundry turn the jacuzzi on just fucking
Starting point is 00:23:02 I'm pre sanitizing all my bottles that I have. Microwaving potatoes for ten minutes at a time. Just fuck it. You know they're baptizing people on Hollywood and Highland today? Really? Yeah, some kind of parade to start off gay month. Oh. Some church got their congregation together and they're marching down Hollywood with a big like one of those aluminum planter tubs, baptizing motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:23:28 I'm like, this is awesome, man. I saw Reddit talking about it, like, well, actually, this is a, well, this is a secret, this group is secretly, like, transphobic. And I'm like, I promise you, that's not a secret. If you ask them if they're secretly transphobic, they're gonna say no, because they're secretly transphobic, they're gonna say no cuz they're openly transphobic That's funny I never thought I would see the day
Starting point is 00:23:56 It's it's You know, I'm more surprised about that than if there was like a fucking Nazi swastika getting hung from Then if there was like a fucking Nazi swastika getting hung from Hollywood and Highland Columbia records I would be less surprised than a Baptismal parade marching down the middle of the street. It feels very Historic in a way. Yeah, it does as in like back. Yes. Yeah, exactly Like it's kind of like Clanny, you know Like the clan would go with Christ right they were big like big up Christ the race is not so much you know the racism stuff came later I think
Starting point is 00:24:30 I don't know anyway oh yeah I was saying my wife being a teacher all that her students all they know what's up they know they yeah they know they know so they gave her like a going away thing, like kind of a questionnaire, like a nice thing. And they wrote like advice for the baby. And almost all of it, almost all of it, a lot of it, the kids were like, ignore the haters. That was their big advice, ignore the haters!
Starting point is 00:25:08 I remember that I remember how this wraps everything all up, everything that I was screaming about. I remember why this wraps it all up in a nice little bow. Because my wife and I were reading through these things. Oh, you know, that's sweet and looking at all this. Well, that's cute. That's great advice, you know. But I'm reading this and I'm like, they don't know. We're the haters. I'm the hater.
Starting point is 00:25:34 This is an instruction manual for how to deal with me. This is and, you know, I assume it's genetic because some Mexican. We were we were in Mexico. At that pyramid actually, that pyramid that some fat lady rolled down, so they closed it off forever. That's a great pyramid too. Yeah, it's a great pyramid. We went there in Tulum.
Starting point is 00:26:00 It's some old Incan pyramid, right? That they used to sacrifice babies to cure what else. Wait, did you go to Chichen Itza? Chichen Itza. Yeah, shut down now. Because some fat lady fell down it. She didn't stop rolling either.
Starting point is 00:26:13 She hasn't stopped rolling. Katamari. She's been acquiring landmarks as she goes around the globe getting fatter and fatter. We were there talking to the tour guy and he's like, Oh, your last name. Uh, you know, you guys, you have a reputation. I go, yeah, what's that? He goes, you guys like, you say something really shitty,
Starting point is 00:26:34 but it's kind of funny. I was like, that's funny. Really? You know about that all the way down here? Wow. The whole Monroe Doctrine knows. Anyway. That's impressive. I said, ignore the haters. Wow! The whole Monroe Doctrine knows anyway. That's impressive.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I said ignore the haters like, no no, become the haters. That's the... that's it. That's true in life. Don't ignore the haters. Become the haters. Mm-hmm. Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv The best hater should hate much greater, you know? The best hater is he who hates greater. Later. Um... Veto Wars 2 is over. How about that?
Starting point is 00:27:11 This is because Veto Wars 3 is already halfway underway? No, no, Veto Wars 3 we're not having. We're not doing another Veto Wars! We're not doing another Veto Wars! I can't take it! We're not- there's no more Vito Wars, none. I was not prepared for that, Vito's like, yeah, I was spinning out. Ah, what?
Starting point is 00:27:35 I have anger issues, ah, what? Wow. Yeah, wow. The one thing, the one thing no one can, you know, the one thing the one thing no one can you know, the one thing that differentiates the success and failure is that people who are successful every once in a while will go You know what? You guys are right. I'm just gonna do it your way That's really it. It's really it and everybody I know
Starting point is 00:28:01 everybody I know who takes the road often traveled is Actually, I'm right. I'm actually right again. I woke up. I wake up 365 days a year 365 days I'm wrong. I'm right. That's my I'm mr. Right they call me every day all day every day. I'm right Hmm. I mean that's good, but one day a year I mean that's good, but one day a year only one that's good. It's good You believe in yourself, but one day every year you got to go ah You guys are right. I was wrong and then Whatever branching off into total success
Starting point is 00:28:44 You know yeah, what is it you got to check yourself before you wreck yourself man or sometimes wreck yourself a whole bunch and then check yourself and check yourself and then go fix it get it in there it's great veto actually owes Riley a thank you for I mean Riley made us like two grand amazing a month for his antics and all the drama and bullshit. We got a video... um... A bunny man... a bunny man, SkitsoshunTV, I think his name was, was. He was attacked by Comic-Con
Starting point is 00:29:21 security at... he was trying... he was filming himself at Eric at Eric July's booth at some sort of Black and gay comic they had a comic-con that was only for black or black and black and gay creators Hmm, and Eric July was there showing off his shitty comics And schizo Sean dressed in a bunny's bunny man suit and showed up and just tried to film them and they got their panties all twisted up and just tried to film them and they got their panties all twisted up and he was attacked by security. You would think any press is good press, right? I mean, when you say pull up so we can hash things out
Starting point is 00:29:56 and then someone does and you fucking call a lady, lady security to come over and harass them, I mean, that's not very Christmassy, is it? That's not very Christmassy, is it? That's not very Christmasy. Can you send a lady over here to deal with this bunny man? I'm sick of them That's funny. There's a there's a for-lease sign on a house down the street It so happened this week that, I don't know where I should start this. Maybe I should just play the clip.
Starting point is 00:30:33 There was a interview, let me find it. There's an interview where women are calling men lazy, you know, as they often do. And for some reason I took that personally. Let me see if I can find this clip. For some reason I took it personally because, you know, men are not lazy. Every, it's appealing,'s, it's appealing.
Starting point is 00:31:05 It's vain for every generation to call the men in the lower generations lazy and blame everything on them. But it's also totally retarded because they're the ones responsible for, they're the ones responsible for shaping incentives, rewards, punishments. They've built this maze for young men to navigate. So saying that they're lazy is like a non sequitur.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Like you built this maze. You built these traps for them. This is your fault. They're the same. They're the exact same. They're exactly the same as you, except they've got a little bit more microplastics in them. So you had you had very little control over what you did from the age of you know I suppose it's people my age saying this now from the age of uh from the year 1975 to the year 2000. Like you didn't do that. That's not
Starting point is 00:32:00 you didn't you didn't really earn that speaking generally of the entire Corpus of men out there and more specifically of women you didn't do that so to blame them to blame them for a sudden change in in their in their core like Psychosexual matrix like the core of what makes them them of the male psyche, to say that this has suddenly shifted in 20 years from you, that this generation you begat is somehow inferior to you or the one before you is fucking retarded. Like, it's just, it's flat out fucking retarded.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Uh, okay, so this is what, this is what they're saying on this Fox News thing. Problem. And you know, Speaker Johnson has been talking about those maybe deadbeat folks that are on Medicaid, and maybe some of those folks are the stay-at-home sons. We don't know. But I'll tell you this. Leave it to Gen Z to rebrand laziness and social awkwardness as something cutesy, like a stay-at-home son.
Starting point is 00:33:04 They did much the same thing with quiet quitting, where you can go to work and do less. And if you call it quiet quitting, it's somehow better. But, Laura, I got to tell you, this is also a big problem when it comes to, I think, declining birth rates, people not getting married and having children. You know, that's a big problem. They blame it on women. Well, look at what young women have to choose from. The pickings are slim.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Yes, we might have a feminism problem in America, but it's the feminization of men. There are a lot of young women out there that want to get married. They want to have kids. They want to have stable families. They want to have seconds. But there are a lot of young men out there who want to live in mama's basement and order Door Dash. And therein lies a big part of the problem.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Yeah. Sounds like she's mad at her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is, I think, a professional athlete. And she's 32 with no kids. So I don't know what she's. She's Door Dash. She's the Door Dash. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Her boyfriend orders her up. And I saw a house for lease down the street. And I realized, oh, yeah, why would they get out of their 30 year 2% mortgage when they can just lease life to some unlucky 30 something with a new family, right? Who has no chance to own anything. I'm going to every doctor I go to, every vet I go to,
Starting point is 00:34:26 it's owned by some big company instead of a doctor, starting his own practice, putting in a little bit of effort, taking a small loan and building something for himself. It's all wiped out. It's all owned by a giant venture capital firm, equities firm. It's all owned.
Starting point is 00:34:44 It's all owned and leased back to you. And then I see this. Let me find this. The Democrats are going all out on men. Here we go. Here we go. Men are lazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Democrats going all out on men. This, this bit right here. Fucking caption. Meet the Democrats' new secret weapon. It's Peter Griffin in drag. Olivia Juliana. Juliana is now advising Democrats on how to win over young men. She's a...if you think of, if you think Ham Planet in your mind, and you think of a woman that so embodies the term Ham Planet, this is who... you're picturing her.
Starting point is 00:35:32 She looks... she looks like a man. Peter Griffin, identical. And she, you know, and that would be the... that would honestly be the... uh... the kill shot. If she would go, if this bitch would go to every college in America and go, hey, you think the Republicans, you think that's bad. Last time, you know, Republicans sent you to war. And she's like, I'm just kidding, I'm actually a woman. But you know, I'm a big fat slob who looks exactly like Peter Griffin.
Starting point is 00:36:00 And I'm here to talk to you about how gun control is cool. How to win over young men says conservative men are pro-choice, pro-gay marriage and pro-BLM. The best part is that it's a small font on our shirt so it makes her look even bigger. It's the biggest font they had. I know it's a I recognize that. They had to use one screen for each letter. Respect. Respect. What does that say? Respect existence or expect resistance. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that like,
Starting point is 00:36:32 I'm sure that saying will make me, make me, a 19 year old feel great when I'm getting drone struck on the Gaza strip by a, by a Palantir drone that my parents paid for, right? That my dad was raped for, for taxes for. I'll remember your fat ass and say that slogan to myself as I'm getting executed remotely. Here's the other one.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Part of their full-scale assault on young men as her new role as the Democrats young men recruiter this is the same this is the same Peter Griffin bitch here Olivia Giuliana reportedly reached out to four fraternities at UT Austin and Texas A&M to come speak this weekend. All four turned her down so she was forced to eat all the pizzas that they bought for all the frats. This, right? Well that was just the appetizer. This is the appetizer pizza? As revenge she went out and ate all the pizza in Texas as a revenge against the frats not playing ball.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Here's maybe the last one that I wanted to play before I talk about it. This is David Hogg. Do you know him? Do you know who that is? He was the guy who, he was a student at that Parkland school. He wasn't at the school during the shooting, but he was a student there. That's right. And now he goes around pretending that he was like, he was pretending that he was in a school shooting.
Starting point is 00:38:10 And as always, the only thing that you really need to do to fight these things is to not care about it. Is to just honestly, I don't really care about school shootings, actually. I don't go to school, so I don't give a shit. It's like they should have taught us all in dare, right? Just say no. Just say no.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Just say no. Hey, do you have time to care about school shootings? No. No, I don't really. I'm on my way to something. Here he is talking to Bill Maher about what young men need. That's the theme of today is what young men need.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Here's David Hogg talking to Bill Maher. As younger men, they would rather vote for somebody who feels, who even if they don't completely agree with, they don't feel judged by it, than somebody who they do agree with, that they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around constantly because they're going to be judged or ostracized or excommunicated. And what's interesting about this moment is it feels like the two parties in some senses have flipped where Republicans used to be the judgmental apples in many ways.
Starting point is 00:39:10 And since many Democrats, despite us, I would say for most of us coming from the right place and wanting to do the right thing, we've created a culture where we say, well, if you say the wrong thing, you're excommunicated. And that's just not how human beings work. Nobody is perfect, but ultimately what we have to do here is figure out how to bring people back in
Starting point is 00:39:27 and work towards the bigger goal of advancing the future of this country and helping young people especially get by so that they're able to focus on their lives and getting with a young woman or something like that instead of how are they going to pay their rent, for example, or how are they working their two jobs. Young people should be able to focus on what young people
Starting point is 00:39:43 should be focused on, which is how to get laid and how to go and have fun. How to get laid, man! How to get laid! Man, just, you gotta think about your dick, man. You gotta think with your balls, man. You gotta get that dick in some pussy, man What do you hey man? Hey, dude? Hey dudes?
Starting point is 00:40:09 Hey, dude, bros Olivia on a Frat let me there's one last quote. I love Yeah, yeah, yeah, she says I love I do love frat boys She says um Here's the here's the difference You love frat boys, she says. Here's the difference. Here's the difference between why this is not gonna work. You love frat boys, right?
Starting point is 00:40:33 You know, love frat boys. Guys gotta get laid, they gotta find a nice fat girl to stick their dicks in, get their rocks off. The difference is, the difference is that I will literally die for your right to tell racist, misogynistic, and anti-Semitic jokes. That's it. Not, I don't think you need to go get your dick wet. I'm going, I will literally get stabbed in the gut so that you can go make your fat jokes in peace
Starting point is 00:41:07 It's gonna be me Leaning against the Louvre like that guy getting fucking stabbed in the side like Jesus Christ going That's right, dude. She was fat. She was actually fat That's the difference That's the difference. Not having to watch out for yourself, right? Not houses being leased to you. I believe that sometimes a guy who installs air conditioning for a living is smarter than all the experts put together. That's what my side believes. If they're such an
Starting point is 00:41:51 expert, why are their wives so ugly? That's what my side believes. Yeah, I mean, you can't be that good at something if you have an ugly wife, right? I believe that low-flow toilets and showers are worse than cancer racism and AIDS Put together. Well, I think low-flow water devices cause all three of those things all three of those things I'm not here with free pizza Hey guys, why don't we just get back to partying and getting some pussy? No. I don't know. I think we're actually beyond that now, right?
Starting point is 00:42:35 Just want jobs, man. You want fucking jobs, dude. I believe that sometimes when women say no, they're testing you. And that they lie a lot. Is that the new Democratic party? Hey everybody, guess what? Women lie all the fucking time. Yeah, they're probably lying about that. Where's that?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Hey guys, just time to get laid. Yeah bro, we tried getting laid, but you know, if we do it slightly wrong, we go to jail. We lose our MLB careers, like we just get, we're like a pariah forever. Where are you on that one, bud? I don't think you're lazy. I think all the incentives that are structured around your labor are meant to bleed you dry for your entire lives and the lives of your kids and the lives of their kids forever. And that you're locked in, they send the most psychotic of you to get drone struck and rot and get weird cancer in the desert So they can stay home so they can so they can stay home and rape some more while you're off
Starting point is 00:43:50 Playing grab-ass and slap dick for a college fund that is ultimately totally worthless Is that the new angle Clearly yeah Is that the new angle? Clearly. Yeah? That all that matters is the people who will move rocks from there to there, and that all this computer shit is gay, and it's not gonna do anything. Yeah. That's the... it's a pizza party. It's a pizza party for the kids. I think the white men landed on the moon. Is that going to be the new face of the Democratic Party? I don't think so. I don't think that's going to work. Where's my water?
Starting point is 00:44:49 Turns out George Washington was white. Yeah, I hate the military, but if we're gonna have one, should be marching all over the face of the earth taking everybody's shit. That one, we want that shit. Just fucking take it. Who's gonna stop you? It's illegal. It's a crime to have shit that belongs to us. Rightfully so. Um, okay.
Starting point is 00:45:14 It's crazy, man. The backlash. That shit against men drives me fucking crazy. Here's, uh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, here's a good one. Oh, Tinder's adding a height filter. Have they been adding a weight filter too? Yeah, if you're not under 160 pounds, if you're under 160 pounds, you can't use the app anymore. Really?
Starting point is 00:45:39 Yeah, if you're a woman. Is this real, height filter for users Wow age range premium discovery shows you people who match your vibe But who won't limit who you see you'll still be able to match height new any height So just put six four Like they don't women don't know yeah, I Can't wait to see the like dwarf discrimination like. Just put six four and if she questions you on it stand on your tiptoes.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Like they can't you know they can't look at both two at the same time. We know they jump. We know they can't we know they can't gauge distances at all. Let's see here. Here is... oh yeah, low cost airlines. At first I hated this, but now I love it. Look at this shit. Low cost airlines will officially launch standing only seats in 2026
Starting point is 00:46:46 after finally passing safety evaluations. So you're going to be flying around, like standing up with this saddle hitting your taint. Hmm. Uh, at first I hated this, but then I was like, there's no chance a fat person can ride this airline. So it's like a skinny airline. That.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Right? What they might do is fold up the middle two arms and where the two... Oh. Put someone's ass cheeks in between the two. I think this will be like a Pan Am flight from the 60s, like right at the beginning of air travel where everybody's skinny. They should give everyone cigarettes to really incentivize things. Yeah, this will be like, this will be like, they say it's,
Starting point is 00:47:36 they say it's like low cost, but it'll be a premium service because you know you're not going to have to get squished in with some fat ass that's man they can't stand you know yeah yeah or they'll be in the back and like a couch there'll be a big pile of them on the bat in the back the cargo area yeah strap down with their hands coming out okay let's see here. Oh, here's another good one. The first flight with no lymphedema. Yeah! It's like I'd rather stand than sit in between two fat people or squeezed in. I would too. You know?
Starting point is 00:48:20 With better leg room at least. Okay. Oh yeah, yeah, this was kind of funny. So apparently Indians are using EBT to buy milk at Walmart. Look at this. Buy milk at Walmart and then they go sell the milk at their stores for EBT that they cash out. They're like in an endless cycle of EBT buying fake fake goods. It's supposed to be just if you're poor you get some milk for yourself, you know? You're not supposed to buy all the milk and then sell the milk at your store for more EBT stuff.
Starting point is 00:49:02 That's... Isn't that fucked? But, it makes sense because if there's some kind of scam they'll scam it Yeah, I mean audit finds Minnesota's agency foster the theft of 250 million dollars from federal food aid programs Hahahaha So they're buying the milk look at this a whole whole cart full of milk they're buying the milk Putting it in the 7-eleven Selling it there on sale or getting ebt Right, it's like a funnel
Starting point is 00:49:45 Well, it's fucked is like now. It's in some asshole's car for all this time like yeah Whoa? Okay, let's see here Young people can't read third-person omniscient It's interesting so like a third-person perspective where they're saying he or she did this and Felt this way. I guess so. Young people can't, literary agent told me teens can't read third person omniscience anymore
Starting point is 00:50:14 because they're so used to reading blogs and TikToks where it's one person's voice and perspective that they can't picture it outside of a person. So they can't picture like an omniscient narrator that's not a human. Fuck. Isn't that weird? Yeah, let's see. Young readers struggle with third-person omniscient and publishers see it clearly.
Starting point is 00:50:42 A voice that knows too much, moves too freely, speaks with judgment, feels alien. Readers call it confusing or arrogant. A book is confusing and arrogant to them. They weren't trained to read that kind of mind. In schools, there's no more research papers. Essays took its place. The modern school essay is personal, expressive, and narrow. Right? Whatever Schools, there's no more research papers. Essays took its place. The modern school essay is personal, expressive, and narrow. Write whatever you feel, stay in your lane. Huh. Who is this fucking guy?
Starting point is 00:51:16 Oh, just some guy. Yeah, that's funny. Man. I never even really had an opinion on the types of like books. You just read the book. You... It's not confusing. You just fucking read the book.
Starting point is 00:51:32 You just read the book. Now it's frightening and confusing to them. Well, it's arrogant. Arrogant. How presumptuous of this book to not think I can read it. Like they can't imagine it. I mean, it would seem they can't imagine it. I mean it would seem stupid but How would you feel if you could read in third person? Right exactly it seems stupid, but man
Starting point is 00:51:55 it also seems reasonable with the amount of blogs and horse shit that kids are forced to deal with. Just making people think smaller and smaller. Yeah, like everything's gotta be a part, everything has to personally relate to somebody. Well, you see, I did wake up as a bug, so, you know. Destiny took his son to a Holocaust museum? That's interesting. Put that on the list of things I'm not gonna do.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Ha ha ha! Destiny's little son is funny, man. I guess his son was goofing around, you know, talking, making jokes on Discord. So Destiny decided to educate him by taking him to a Holocaust museum, which... Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. at some point. It would be like making him look at an ashtray. I can't oh yeah look at this ashtray see all those butts How do you feel now? Feel like a cigarette. Mm-hmm feel like I want a cigarette So his son was pausing this shit The shoes dead face
Starting point is 00:53:24 That's the thing what did you think was gonna happen? And... Wanted to take a picture of the Dono box at the Holocaust Memorial, but my dad didn't let me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA episode of South Park where they got taken in the Museum of Tolerance that shits not gonna work Of all his terrible ideas that may have been his worst day None of this hey hey let me clue you guys in none of this shit works when you don't have a job to lose that's Unfortunately like a lot of what you know as society only works when you have a future and a job to lose me I'm not saying any of that shit. future and a job to lose. Me? I'm not saying any of that shit. I got a job to lose. Kids? Don't have that shit to take away. So they don't give a fuck. That's how it works. You can only apply social pressure. You can only treat, you know, the
Starting point is 00:54:18 mob can only enforce... The mob can take away their bank account and their job. If they What? The mob can take away their bank account and their job if they don't have those they don't give a fuck That's the mentality that you're dealing with Well, and it's like you're trying to get a kid who has no Concept of the whole world his I mean like maybe death at all I mean of nothing right yeah, so then to look you have to take this seriously again for whatever Value to take it at but it's like All they know is I can't do something what can't what can I do yeah, well you can't question that well I'm gonna do it. Yeah, well let's go to a museum
Starting point is 00:54:58 That doesn't that doesn't address mean not being able to do something bro. No I need to do it. It's empowering if anything Yeah, you're actually oh you're actually giving me more material. I'll show you how funny it is Nice one oh My god How do you not how do you not know that this is not gonna work? What do you think all this trick This is not gonna work. What are you thinking? Oldest trick in the book, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Let's see. They're gonna do a... Oh yeah, my trans dementia tweet is making the rounds again. I saw it on Instagram and was like, what the fuck like 300,000 likes like man. I don't get I don't get no fucking respect I don't get no not even a tag in it. I didn't even get fucking tagged in this shit Yeah, this one fucking fucking four million views at least he left my name in there and
Starting point is 00:56:02 Fucking four million views! Or at least he left my name in there. In 50 years, nursing home attendants will have to explain to trans Alzheimer's patients what happened to their dicks, like 700 times a day. Yeah, they will. Hahahaha! And then this guy's posting, uh, evidence of this already happening. Oh. Yeah, this guy says, uh, I always accepted the notion that someone who was trans had the mind of, say, a female,
Starting point is 00:56:28 but the body of a male, and they wanted to change their outside to match their inside. Pfft. So they drive- so they go around driving like this. Uuuhhh! Hahahaha! I'm trans! I'm- that's- that's why I'm dri- hey, how come you're driving all fucking crazy?! Because I'm trans. That's why I'm- hey how come you're driving all fucking crazy? Because I'm trans! You know? It's only the selfies and stuff. That changed when I was on placement at a GP. There was a male patient that transitioned into a female in his 30s
Starting point is 00:57:01 with his wife's support. Now they're 80 and had dementia. His wife came in very distressed because he would wake up in the mornings and scream stuff like, what have you done to my body? And wouldn't let doctors near him because he thought we had experimented on him. He had long hair. He cut his long hair, threw out all his female clothes, and tried to cut off his breasts. Wow. Maybe this is a fake. I don't know. The wife had him placed in a home and he needed security. Strap him down. Ah! Ah! Ah! The issue we had was that the wife...
Starting point is 00:57:34 Oh, oh, there was... Oh, yeah. Okay, so what's the issue? The issue we had was that the wife wanted to know if he could detransition, but because of his dementia dementia he couldn't consent. Jesus Christ. You know? Hey, can you go ahead and like put him back? Well, he's too crazy to consent though. Now he's crazy. You're right. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:07 We can't put him back. Now he's too crazy to consent. Oh. How'd he get like that? He consented. Oh, okay. The entire time we were dealing this I thought that if he truly had a female mind why is he so distra- oh yeah, okay. That's why I think it's fake, because when they walk you through to the conclusion, I think like, okay, that's fake. That's a bot. I'm scared this is gonna- it's gonna become more common! Whatever, I don't care. I've never cared about anything.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah, all I care about is what happens to me. Actually. Actually, yeah. Because what happens to me. Actually. Actually, yeah. Because what happens to me happens to most young men. And men. Getting your tweets stolen? Getting your tweets stolen. Having to deal with some fat woman in HR.
Starting point is 00:59:01 That's what happens. Dealing with a bunch of Somalians and robots dumped onto your fucking head when you're trying to get a job that you were told would be there for you 20 years ago. When you started, that's what happens to me. And then, so that's what I care about. Not whatever shit this is. I don't care about it at all. Uh, Trump's making a database for every American with Palantir.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Hmm. Well, that's too bad. Yeah, that's a- Someone should really get rid of that guy. Yeah. I don't know who I want to have a... AI robot database on me more or less. Trump's psycho Palantir buddies, the ultra-Zionists who believe in not greater Israel but mega-Israel that takes over the whole planet, or the Kamel Harris communist dick chopper offers who do I want who do I want hunting meat I guess both I honestly that's what I want I
Starting point is 01:00:14 want Trump's Trump's psycho ultra Zionist Palantir boys to have their database and the communist dick chopper offers to have their database so that hopefully like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stand-up coin-op game, like with that level where you fight Rocksteady and Bebop, hopefully you could trick them and jump out of the way and the AIs will ram into each other. And then they'll fall down and go, Cuckoo, Cuckoo, Cuckoo, Cuckoo! With their head, right?
Starting point is 01:00:39 And I can go back online and make racist jokes. The way God intended it. Mm-hmm. Or else he would have made everyone the same race. That's true. And not made cell phone speaker phones. If God didn't want there to be racist jokes so bad. That's what I want.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Yeah, okay. I'm pro Trump's palantir, ultra-Zionist, master database on every American But that means we got to get the communist dickchopper offers database going, you know quickly quickly quickly quickly You guys got to get that shit up and running because I can't fight the Trump Palantir database. I'm dead. I'm as good as dead. And I know you guys want me dead, but again, Rocksteady and Bebop.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Just remember that in your mind. I'm gonna make a tweet that's so offensive both systems are gonna send Predator drones after me. I'm getting ads for from the LAPD now on my reddit that says how would you like to play with a dog that can open doors and something else open doors and like and like subdue the bad guys or something like that it's like how would you like to play with a dog? And then there's a picture of a robot dog that has a big LAPD on it. And it's like a it's like an ad on on Reddit and that's when I realized like oh they're they want Redditors to come in and play with robot dog drones?
Starting point is 01:02:22 You want Redditors to come in? Fuck. And play with robot dog drones? Bro, we need to start breeding dogs, real dogs, that can fight cop robot dogs. Like, we need to breed dogs so they have an electrical charge, like a Pokemon, so that when the robot dogs come to your house to kill you for your tweets, your dog can like charge up and go, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz an electric eel and a pit bull. But they're out of control. We need your dog whispering to teach these electric pit bulls how to fight the LAPDs.
Starting point is 01:03:12 But it's like Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre they're like, you know, yo yo, yo Michael Vick, you know, we got a special mission for y'all for yo ass, right? I just love that, and they're out of control. And they're out of control And they're out of control They're like ahhh
Starting point is 01:03:28 They shock everybody And then Michael Vick busts in with his jersey And just throws water all over him And they're like ahhh Right? Yeah, right? Shut up, right? And he's got a spray bottle
Starting point is 01:03:44 Like a Like John Madden NFL, right? Shut up! Right? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I So then Michael Vick has to make like another type of energy, like a psychic energy dog. Like they pour- like, no, wait. Someone's gonna make a comic about this. Just sense it. I really hate those robot dogs. Because the streets are full of homeless criminal drug addicts. You guys can just take a fire hose and fix it. You don't need robot dogs. Spray them all out.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Just go out there, go out there with one of those dog lasso's and start dragging homeless people into the fucking ocean. They probably can't swim. Get fucking rid of them. You don't need robot or make the robot dogs do it. Something. You don't need robot or make the robot dogs do it. Something. They would just take the... They would just dismantle the robot dogs and try and resell it is the problem.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Michael! Yeah? On our side we have... we've found the greatest tinkering fentanyl crack addicts. This... yeah, that's one of his super friends. He's a fentanyl crack addict who can take apart any machine you throw a machine out of and he turns it to like We call them the un-computer The disassembler the disassembler And he comes in like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah what you guys got any?
Starting point is 01:05:23 Takes apart anything. Any dogs that come in with his fingers, with just his fingers, and crack. Yeah. He's got a secret pouch of crack in his teeth. He breaks it, he can take apart anything. He's got a magic eight ball, but instead of shaking it, he just takes a little bite off of it.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Who else are in the... Man, I think the disassembler is pretty powerful guy right there. The disassembler, Michael Vick. I love it. You know, this is the only time during the week where I'm not thinking about the fucking ringing in my ears is doing The show goofing around Well, man, I think about crack heads. I can't focus on anything else The best thing ever man
Starting point is 01:06:20 See doing crack is See doing crack is Like I think about DMX right yeah, he did just there's like a tiny amount of crack you can do right But he was selling out stadiums in Australia like doing whole Wherever he went full stadium mm-hmm did a little too much crack mm-hmm But I think there is a tiny And it's different forever. It's a moving target right yeah that's why it gets everyone yeah is cuz you just think oh if I if I go a little further no can't yeah you this this fucking retard synthetic shinobi on the biggest problem show he's like oh like, oh, Dick Singh, vetoes meth is bad.
Starting point is 01:07:07 That's ironic coming from him. It's like, no, it's not ironic because if you do anything, first of all, you should never do drugs because you think they're gonna make you healthy or productive. No. That's a lie. That's the... Okay? They're not.
Starting point is 01:07:21 They're gonna get you high. All you need to be healthy and productive is to work out, get sunshine, and eat healthy. If you're not doing that shit, the drugs aren't gonna fucking help you, bro. And drink fucking water. And drinking water. Let's drink a lot of water. Drinking water, singing songs, eating salted meats, you know, working out. That's what makes you healthy. Some fuck, a pharmaceutical company
Starting point is 01:07:47 deploying an army of bimbos is not there to make you, I'd have got news for you. They're not there to make you fucking healthy, bro. Talking about your fucking problems with some moron that you have to pay to be there is not making you fucking healthy, right? And then gobbling up whatever she gives you like Pac-Man is not making you fucking healthy
Starting point is 01:08:07 Don't lie to yourself. Lie to literally everybody else. Don't lie to your fucking self. This shit's not making you productive and healthy. Number two, uh, every time you do drugs you have to remind yourself that you're doing something bad. Mm-hmm. And it's hurting everyone around you that you're doing something bad. And it's hurting everyone around you. Now maybe you could keep it together, but it's like going 100 on the freeway. Like it's fun, it's not good behavior.
Starting point is 01:08:32 You're freaking everyone out. Now in some ways, fuck them. You know, I'm going 100 cause I need to blow off some steam. Why you said steam? But, but you didn't do something good. Right. And you might crash out and die.
Starting point is 01:08:52 So. Well, that's what I'm saying. There's that, what, that tiny. Tiny window. Tiny window. It's shrinking. And then one day for all the people that crash out, that window goes, bloop.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Yeah, then that window's so far gone. You've got to really, you know? Dude, this baby is like, this motherfucker is full on, like, this morning he was doing like a Buckingham Palace guard routine, like standing straight up, and his head was like bulging out of my wife's stomach like I'm in there. I'm in there at night like playing with him like poking him. He's like It's really fucking weird. I don't know how you how women deal with that for like three months, you know
Starting point is 01:09:40 Something in there all the time suffering from internal bruising something in there all the time suffering from internal bruising. God, what was I talking about? Can you imagine that fat bitch showing up pizza? Hey boys, how'd you like to I'm from the D I'm from the Democratic Party. How'd you like to get laid?
Starting point is 01:10:01 Shut up, you fat bitch. Concentration camp for you. All people are equal. All people are equal. I'm not fat at all. I'm a person. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You'll never hear that from me.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Yeah, if all people are equal, how come the rest of us can't eat that whole pizza? Get on a seesaw. I'll show you how equal we are. Takes three of us. Ha ha ha ha ha. It's so fucking stupid. See-saw, I'll show you how equal we are. Takes three of us. Hahahaha It's so fucking stupid. It's just so fucking annoying how easy it is to...
Starting point is 01:10:34 undo. Their contempt. It's so fucking annoying. I mean, I'm a dude. We get laid. Like, bro, we're not having problems. First of all, I'm insulted that you think we need help getting laid your fucking noodly ass needs help getting laid all right first of all That's my first fucking that's my first fucking issue that I have with this way to be late to the party motherfucker We're beyond getting laid man. We want to work. We want shit to do we want to make money
Starting point is 01:11:01 We want to make money. Yeah, you don't want to get laid We want to start have a family and a house. We want to own things. We want to own real things that you can't take away and give to some fucking Somalian. Mm-hmm. I don't want to be guilted into paying $17 so some fucking dummy in Africa can take their whatever HIV medication. Quit making fucking online only video games that you pay 60 bucks for and then they go.
Starting point is 01:11:28 Yeah, I wanna own a video game, okay? I don't wanna download it. I wanna own that shit. It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit. It's fucking bullshit, man. I don't wanna lease my house. I wanna own that, I wanna own it.
Starting point is 01:11:41 You don't wanna lease anything. I don't want some plutocrat making all the money from the Automation industrialization that's gonna wipe out jobs in this country. I don't fucking think that's right Of course not. We deserve that. I don't want I don't want my answer to my answer to all the problems I have in life. I don't want it to be well go do a trade. You need to work with toilets Go be a plumber. I don't want to be a fucking plumber
Starting point is 01:12:14 I want to work with stuff that I like I want to be a functional member of society like I feel like I should be and I know that somebody took that from me and I'm and Dick over there saying that you guys did it and I kind of think that he's right I kind of think that what he's saying is true that you guys you guys did take that From me and now you're offering me free pizza and fat pussy in exchange for taking my birthright for me And I'm kind of fucking pissed off I'm pissed off enough to go online and say the n-word. And I feel like if I do that, you're gonna try to fucking hammer me for it, like you hammered Kanye, who is black. So,
Starting point is 01:12:50 actually go- so go fuck yourself, which is the most I can say, you know? All right. Yeah. Hey kids, forget about owning a house. How would you like some pizza and fat pussy? No, thanks And then how it works is you have to use the tiny sliver of pizza you got to pay for the fat pussy Yeah, my burrito loan is already, you know, cratering. Fuck. That company that let you put burritos on layaway All the loans crashed. Oh, did you see that? Fuck that was funny, man. That is funny. Let me find it. Klarna. I think it was Klarna Klarna loans Yeah
Starting point is 01:13:37 Buy now pay never remember they started doing burritos on the end on loan Klarna users struggle to repay loans. Actually, I'm just gonna keep the money and the burrito. Yeah. Yeah. Good one, guys. Households owe a record 18 trillion in various forms of debt.
Starting point is 01:14:03 Yeah. I kind of think you guys set that up. No, we don't need so much debt. Every time you make it possible to get more, it just raises the prices of shit. Okay, the gentleman sausage says, complaining about shit we all know to be true. Like the AMA thing, American Medical Association thing, it's different when you ain't got Sean in your ear saying that's bullshit, dick. I love the guy, but he was always quick to defend the medical establishment.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Oh yeah, remember when I said that the AMA prevented there from being more doctors? This guy's saying that, I don't know, he's saying that's not true. I looked it up and it was true. So fuck you, dude Yeah in 97 in 97 the AMA lobbied Congress to restrict the number of doctors That could be trained in the US claiming that the United States is on a verge of a serious over supply of physicians
Starting point is 01:15:02 So give him welfare Just give him money to do nothing then. You know, they're fucking doctors dude. How come we always need a standing military but we don't need a bunch of doctors just standing around, pay them all a million dollars. What's that gonna... What could be the problem with that? We'll put them to use. Yeah! They can just walk around and help people out. You guys got any medical ailments here? I'm getting paid a million bucks a year and I feel like I should be doing something.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Now we're good. You sure? We'd have great coverage at that point probably. You seem a little fat back there. Can I give you some advice? Okay. Yeah, Doc, get in here. Tell my wife how fat she is.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Door to door, door to door fat doctors. That's what would happen if we have an oversupply of doctors That would actually be a funny bit is just via door to door doctor, but then your diagnosis is all your wife's fat Yeah Like the ice cream man. Yeah, but the doctor be coming down the street Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Schwann's was the yellow truck that sold like frozen meals and shit. Oh yeah. Um... Yeah, okay. Sam says, uh, these people should have been dead 30 years ago is the truest statement on the show ever.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Yeah, no shit. We should get a FastPass. Yeah. Oh, you're over 65? Mmm. Get in the back of the line. Get in the fucking back of the line. Get the fuck out of here, yeah. No help for you.
Starting point is 01:16:52 No help for you. Travis, the real Caliuga was when Dick gave half the biggest problem in the universe to Vito. No, Vito Wars 2 is over, so it's fine now. Yeah. My ears are still fucked. So it's fine now. Yeah. My ears are still fucked, but it's fine now. Ah. Remind me to watch that video.
Starting point is 01:17:14 The guy getting his pass, getting attacked. Yes. At the behest of the coward, Eric July. And his little band of midget enforcers. Mm-hmm. Nothing but a bunch of posers, hoes, and shitheads, man. What a bitch. Umm...
Starting point is 01:17:35 Woman alert, okay. Woman alert! Let's see here. Woman alert! Uhhh... Oops. Woman alert from the outsider. Whoa, okay. My girlfriend just told me that she has an 860 credit score.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Uh, my girlfriend just told me that she has an 860 credit score. I didn't believe her until, so she showed me this. Chase ultimate freedom. And she has 860 available points. And she thought that was her credit score. Yeah, totally. They probably all do. Man.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Good for her on her high credit score. Good for her. Don't spend it all in one place. Andrew Charles says, Have a good Memorial Day. I hope your ears stop having AIDS or whatever. My right ear rings because I don't wear protection hunting and shoot off my left shoulder Start wearing protection. Don't be a fucking idiot Don't be like me wear
Starting point is 01:18:56 Protect wear hearing protection out of everything I've ever done. The only thing that I regret is not wearing hearing protection pretty much all the time Wear it You don't want this that I regret is not wearing hearing protection pretty much all the time. Wear it. You don't want this. Triangular Morning says the Rattler is the undisputed Formed in Foam champion. Amazing. He saw your video. Thank you for the votes.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Yeah. Do you have any more videos coming out? Dude, more Cooking with Kay coming along Okay, that's a great series More formed and foam. I think there might be some more PB's pagoda coming out. PB's pagoda? Yeah. What's that? So there's PB and she takes care of all these little pugs Well, okay, plans rather their pugs that have been bred with with lambs. So they're like little pug sheep kind of things. Plams. They're plams.
Starting point is 01:19:49 Okay. Yeah, got a lot of videos of that. Got a lot of things coming up. So, you know, if you really want some weird shit in your life, or if you want to be healed from whatever sickness and ailments you have, perhaps meth and not finishing your comic book, go ahead and subscribe to the Almighty Op YouTube channel. X, Instagram, all that good shit. Are you the Almighty or are you the Op? Who knows?
Starting point is 01:20:11 I have no idea. Who's to say with this whole situation? I think that's the, I think that what you're doing there is the, is the boundary of my weird shit-o-meter. Right. You know? I have a range of things that I like, and what you're doing is right on the edge. It's right on the edge.
Starting point is 01:20:33 If it was any weirder, I wouldn't get it. You know, there's some things, I wish more people could have come down to the corner show, all that was a thing, but- That was fun. That corner show, man. That thing but that was fun that corner show man That was fun changed my life the almighty op would have a they would just pick a corner a random corner in Koreatown It was the same one same one in Koreatown, but just a random quarter nothing special about it No, there's actually the city put a plaque there. Oh, they did so
Starting point is 01:21:00 For all you la heads out there go to the corner of Western and Elmwood, and there is a little plaque from the city commemorating Almighty Up and all the years of its community service there. Yeah. And it would be like a weird puppet show. Yeah. Really weird. At best. Or at worst, or at least, who knows? At worst, it was non-functional.
Starting point is 01:21:25 Yes. At worst, it was non-functional. Yes, at worst it was non-functional. At best it was. Because of a broken guitar string, or, you know. Too many kids in the audience to be doing those jokes. Yeah, I've seen feet getting washed there. I've seen a homeless man get rehabilitated and reintegrated with the community. I've seen local legends, such as Francine Dancer from the Public Access TV networks.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Okay. It was like Public Access but in real life. Yeah. Kind of. What's his face? Mr. Let's Paint even came down and brought his treadmill and painted a picture for everyone. Really? With it and ran on the treadmill the whole time and it died and so he's screaming at everyone trying to his treadmill died
Starting point is 01:22:07 yeah but he still was jogging on a dead treadmill really it's a corner show of unlike any corner show you've ever seen yeah everyone was different everyone was a different one that I saw that was a yeah they might be coming back so and it was packed just like a hundred just like 100 hipsters. Standing on the dirty street corner. I'll never forget, there was one segment of dancing one time where everyone's dancing around and two cholo's were walking, just walking to the bar or something.
Starting point is 01:22:36 They stopped and danced with everybody. And it was like, this is a bizarre, you never know. And then right on the opposite corner, there was always some sort of prostitution going on. So, you know, you could always ask them like, Hey, could you give my friend here a hug? And I don't hug no fucking clown, you know, yeah, shit like that. But it is, it's a bizarre, you never know.
Starting point is 01:22:59 You just kind of have to blink and you miss it. Yeah. But there's going to be more things online for you to not miss. For many people to not miss. So who knows? Who knows what's coming out of all of it? Just stay tuned, I guess. Watch this space, as they say.
Starting point is 01:23:16 Winrar said, you were on Asmongold yesterday, around the 3 minute and 50 second time stamp. Let's see. Asmongold? Asmongold yesterday, around the 3 minute and 50 second time stamp. Let's see. Asmongold? Asmongold, man. Biggest streamer in North America, I think. Man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:33 He's cool. He's got like, he puts like zero points, you know, in the character sheet points. He puts 100 points in the show and he puts zero points into like cleaning his house. Cool, man. So his house is, I guess, like legendarily just filthy. I don't think what I'm saying is mean. I think he just doesn't care about his house, which is cool. Takes a lot to be number one, man.
Starting point is 01:24:00 Yeah, I miss when my house was dirtier. It's a working, you know, it's like a working environment. Yeah, I miss when I miss when my house was was dirtier to work in, you know, it's like a it's a working environment Yeah, yeah I'm too busy to be doing yeah, or I don't care that too. Yeah. Yeah, let me let me find this clip He sends this clip over 320 53 let's see why so ignorant gins Does he already have it?
Starting point is 01:24:26 three oh There I am oh Three Let's see here. Oh, yeah, no did he send it to me at the right spot Maybe why so ignorant ginsy men get handpicked for 12 years by most obnoxious and dumbest generation of women in human history get dumped in the labor market alongside robots and smallians. And now some die job TV bitch is calling them lazy get fucked. He's completely fucking right, man.
Starting point is 01:24:56 He's absolutely right. She's hating me. Yes. The thing is that a lot of guys nowadays have a ton of disadvantages. And also, I think that guys can't get a good job. Like many guys are not able to get a good job and support themselves. And so why would they want to find a,
Starting point is 01:25:14 like how could they find a girlfriend to get married if they can't even fucking get a job? That's the thing. Gen.G has to work 10 times harder to get 10 times less. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I don't understand this rural area struggle the most. Yeah, I think so. And also quiet quitting and all that stuff. The fact is that the reason why a lot of guys don't feel like they want to put in
Starting point is 01:25:36 work to be part of the workforce is because the workforce doesn't work for them. The country doesn't work for them. Like if you're a guy and you're seeing all these privileges and opportunities being given to immigrants and to women and to people because they're like gay or something like that and you have to sit there and look at all that. Well then why the fuck could you want to contribute to a society that does everything that they can to support everybody except you? That's the real reason why. That's what it is. Such a bad take. No, it doesn't. No, I'm telling you, you can tell me that guys are selfish for thinking this. You can say anything that you want about that. But what I'm saying here is the way that a lot of people feel
Starting point is 01:26:16 whether you like it or not. And that's the big difference. I think a lot of people don't understand is that yes, sure, you might not want this to be the case But it in fact is the case. This is massively the fucking case. This is lack of incentive Yes, a lot of guys nowadays meant Gen Z rebrand stay-at-home son Just like they did with Crying Quitting. Yep. A lot of people are unhappy. Let me see I can find this How old is she is she's 32, she does not have children. Yeah, obviously she doesn't have kids either. Two women with a combined age of 93
Starting point is 01:26:50 and no biological children between them sure have a lot to say about the state of young men. And by the way, this guy right here. The gentleman in the glasses that hates women. I wanna know if he ever had a date. I have a petal on me. If he's ever been with anybody. I don't hate women.
Starting point is 01:27:05 Now, I'm sure you have multiple blouses and multiple pairs of pants at home, but you chose these because they were your favorite. They were better than the others. That doesn't mean you hate the ones you didn't wear. I don't hate women. Men are just- This has to do with having a date.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Men are better than women, yes. Answer my question and take your stupid glasses off. I'm sure Dr. Phil can back me up on that. This is how you look. Women line up to date guys like me, and you've had them all on your show. I don't see any women lined up to you, and I would definitely be at the end of that line. Well, if you hit the treadmill a little more,
Starting point is 01:27:35 you'd be at the front. Oh. Hey, he loves it. I didn't hear you, because I'm sure it was something stupid, and I'm glad I didn't hear you. Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad I'm because I'm sure it was something stupid. I'm glad I didn't hear you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:27:49 Yeah. I'm glad you didn't either. Yes. Bro, I remember whatever this shit happened. It was so fucking funny. Oh my gosh. She'd be in line. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Yeah, but she'd still be in line. That's a good point I didn't even think about that And so anyway, there's a lot of women that get mad about guys not wanting to do anything but the reason why a lot of guys don't want to do anything and they want to sit home all day and jerk off to anime is because they don't have fucking love it man, and I Love hearing when guys with a huge platform saw that happen back in the day, and I'm like yes I knew it. I knew it. I knew that was good. I knew that was important
Starting point is 01:28:33 I fucking know it you watch that lady go through the five stages You see her eyes spin around her head like someone smacked the fuck. Oh, it's like when Ariel loses her voice Or the gremlins melt Lady still alive do you think I don't know I really want to get in I want to get in touch with their finder and have her go yeah, I Feel like I owe her something. Like, I don't know. She should come in as a guest.
Starting point is 01:29:07 Millions of dollars. I feel like I got away with a divorce with her. Yeah. I didn't have to give her anything. You have to say the meanest possible thing in the world to someone. Well, she set herself up, is the thing. You know, like shit that woman, she'll be at like a party, like a dinner party and somebody will go.
Starting point is 01:29:29 Someone says something mean to me on the internet and she'll go, excuse me. I was the first person that someone said something to me to be a doctor fucking Phil and then it ended up on the internet. Damn. Ah, wonderful. Well, thanks as mingle. Yeah. We got to fight for these young men. Uh, Brad McFly says you're a hundred percent right about AI guard rails. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:04 I mean, they say it. They say it explicitly. We, the people building AI, Sam Altman and Elon will say explicitly, people go to the AI for answers. So we need to, and Altman will say, we need to guide them toward making the correct choice politically. And Elon says, it's got to be just what's true, what the data says.
Starting point is 01:30:29 You know, both of these are party minds, you know? They're very open about it. Andrew Torba from Gab talks about it all the time. All the money and time being spent on AI is purely to fuck with it, so it will reflect the narrative. Yeah, that's true. All the money, we are wasting a shitload of money retraining AI on how not to be racist.
Starting point is 01:30:59 It's really, it's just insane. It's really, it's just insane. Like China, China's fucked because they control everything. The central party controls everything. But the positive is they don't have to neuter all of their technology to protect the feelings of women and black people. So they're able with the tiny amount that they have because of the insane communist control of their industrial, of their science,
Starting point is 01:31:39 their research and development, the tiny amount that they have because they've destroyed their country with communism, they're able to do a lot with compared to us who let banks run the economy but destroy all of our research and technology to franchise women and minorities. You know, it's really, it's kind of an even race because the despotism versus the freedom, and then they both are inverted in their heads.
Starting point is 01:32:09 The technology is free in China and our technology is controlled by insane despots and censors. So it's a close race. Different sets of handicaps. Yeah. And then we've got Israel with, I don't know, ethno-fascism? And they're also neck and neck and neck, really, with the technology stuff.
Starting point is 01:32:35 So we'll see. It's very exciting. Robert Moore says, woman alert. Woman alert. Brain dead female dating. Woman alert. Good morning, dick. This gem of an article came up in my newsfeed
Starting point is 01:32:54 and I thought you might get some enjoyment or attention migraine out of it. Here are the best parts. Let me find this guy. Is everyone trying to cause you actual damage? A woman dating advice. Yeah, that's always great. How to, how to, um,
Starting point is 01:33:22 how to cater to their insane learned behavior, their insane learned victimhood behavior. Cause women function just as units, single women function radically different than women in a relationship. And this, the single woman is insane. Totally, totally insane. Okay, this is the advice that she gave.
Starting point is 01:33:57 In her most recent video, Anderson gives men the appropriate responses to three classic questions women often ask, which seems straightforward but can leave guys flustered. The questions along with Anderson's advisors follows, do I look fat in this? What the fuck? What decade is this woman from? Yeah, we still don't know how to... Do I look fat in this? You look then say no you look great? Oh fuck off. The answer is an emphatic yes to all the above. Yeah in the head. You look real fat in your fucking head.
Starting point is 01:34:32 Do you think she's prettier than me? You don't look. You don't look then say that would be impossible. Oh my god. Notice anything different about me? You say you mean aside from how you always look amazing? Which buys you time to look for whether she got her new haircut or outfit. Anderson even threw in an extra tip telling guys, where was this? That when a woman says not to order fries for her,
Starting point is 01:34:57 they should always do the opposite and order the fries. Dude, how do you... How do you fuck a woman like this and not feel like a pedophile? Just a fucking moron. Just did dating retards. That was a great date. You said all the right things. Let's go have sex.
Starting point is 01:35:16 I can't because in my mind you're like a five-year-old now. Sorry. God forbid you not order french fries. Oh, and then there's guys commenting on it. Oh, Jesus Christ. I do not mind questions. I have them too. Here's a list of questions I ask on the first date.
Starting point is 01:35:39 Do you have a recent photo of your mother? It's like a time machine. Do you have a younger sister? List any drug you take for mental illness okay great yeah that's amazing thanks buddy thanks and go fuck yourself smooches for Sean Great advice from Rush Limbaugh's ghost, you know? Fucking psycho. Francis says, you probably don't need to worry about your son becoming a trans, Sonic enjoying Nazi, autism is overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed.
Starting point is 01:36:22 I have Tourette's autism. Your tinnitus, autism. My brother got diagnosed autistic ten years later it turns out it was schizophrenia. Oh great. Cool. Let's see Grave Digger. Oh yeah. This is the guy that solves dead mysteries. This is the monster truck that solves mysteries. Yeah, this is the monster truck that solves mysteries. I thought I heard an engine revving in the distance. Rooom.
Starting point is 01:36:52 Uhhh... Okay, he's saying how he solves these mysteries. He solved sixty cases. Hey Dick, I have solved sixty cases. He solved sixty murder cases. Holy shit. The Undertaker, the Gravedigger. Dude, the Gravedigger is cool, man.
Starting point is 01:37:06 Wow. And I will not stop. The city of Indianapolis thanks you. This is how I'm able to hammer my way through these encounters with no authority. When the corner releases without showing up, the body is in custody of IMPD and the family and they must remain at home. When I show up and see suspicious activity, I talk to the family and explain what I saw
Starting point is 01:37:33 and say that we must force the coroner to come. I tell the family the only way this is possible is if they back me completely. The outfit helps, because he's a monster truck. Yeah, right. Well, he's leaning over from the driver's side window of his monster truck. Oh, yeah, okay. I thought he was like... He is the monster truck.
Starting point is 01:37:55 Yeah, what was that speed buggy that was talking? Oh, yeah, it is speed buggy, yeah. Is it speed buggy? Was that his name? He'd always pat around and say vroom vroom and shit. Yeah, vroom vroom! That guy. Okay, guys. Sweet Bucky was that his name around and say vroom vroom. Yeah for burn that guy Okay guys When the family's in on the plan I will tell the police that I require them. What the fuck is this guy doing? He's the fucking undertaker and he's showing up
Starting point is 01:38:16 After the cops this guy's awesome. I will inform them that the family refuses to choose a funeral home and I will inform them that the family refuses to choose a funeral home, and therefore the body is in the custody of the state, and must be transported to the coroner's office. Wow! I can't tell if he likes solving the case more, or if he likes making lazy coroners do their fucking job. Yeah, probably a little bit of both, huh?
Starting point is 01:38:41 It's pro- yeah. Good for you, Gravedigger. If I leave, and they won't call a a funeral home the state has to take the body. It's illegal to just leave a dead body somewhere. Hey what's up I'm the Undertaker. Oh yeah you know what this looks suspicious. Tell you what I'm just gonna leave it here and then the cops have to come deal with it. That's so fucking good.
Starting point is 01:39:06 How do they let you get away with that? This means the police can't leave and they're impatient. I can then call and bully the coroner to actually show up because I purposefully manipulated the family. And if they call the family,
Starting point is 01:39:22 they will tell them the same thing. It's not illegal to conspire in this fashion. The police start calling too, because even if their shift is over, they're stuck. After the bullying, when they come and they see I'm right, they will angrily tell me to bring the body to the coroner's office. This means they leave me, not an agent of the state, in charge of cataloging evidence, not damaging the body and maintaining integrity. They have done this for years hoping I fuck it up, and then they can use that as an excuse
Starting point is 01:39:55 to change the laws around. Man, he's got three things working against him now. This guy is, he's fucking on them! Dude, he is... Wow! Who knew you needed a fucking grave digger on your side? He's digging their graves, man. I have never fucked up.
Starting point is 01:40:22 Oh yeah, you want me to bring that body in? Because you think I'm going to fuck it, uh, no why would you think that? Dude he's like the dukes of hazard grave digger. We gotta get this body to the courthouse in ten minutes dinner and it pauses his dead body his hearse pauses with the Well, it's a better flag. Yeah How's the gravedigger gonna get out of this one? Da da da da da da da da. Man, he would have thorn in everyone's side, but for all the right reasons.
Starting point is 01:40:56 Yeah, wow. This is the, talk about being the change you wanna see in the world, god damn. Good for you, Gravedigger. The one time they tried to lobby to change the laws, our funeral lobby was bigger. And my name is plastered all over the state, so families listen. This motherfucker is the fucking Gravedigger's union.
Starting point is 01:41:20 Oh my god, could you imagine how much power you have as the people who will deal with dead bodies? Dude, hey if you guys don't do it we say we're just gonna leave all the dead bodies around. Yeah, I mean Stuff you think you can just find some you think you're gonna bring in some Somalians to eat the dead bodies or what? What do you think's gonna happen here? Someone's gonna dig the graves Hey fuck heads Someone's gotta dig the graves, man. Hahahaha! Hey, fuckheads. Why don't you investigate this murder? Dude, the Gravedigger is a real superhero, man. Why don't you just get rid of the body?
Starting point is 01:41:52 Meh. I'm just feeling a little like not dealing with a dead body today. So, why don't you get your ass over here and investigate the fucking murder? He's like, look man, the family said... The family said you bullied them into it! That's not the case. I'm just saying, the family said, So, why don't you get your ass over here and investigate the fucking murder. He's like, look man, the family said...
Starting point is 01:42:07 The family said you bullied them into it! That's not illegal. AHAHAHAHAHAHA up. Oh yeah, okay, I read that part. I would love to call in and talk about death care. I'm doing a video suite on it, how people handle it and the corruption in the industry and could use some shameless promotion on my favorite show. Yeah, let me, if my ears get better. Dude, we have to have the Gravedigger on. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:53 That guy's cool. I can't do any calls in the condition I'm in, but when it's better, if it's better. I'm going to go in and see if I can bully an ENT into giving me an MRI to see if there's a tumor on my audio nerve. And I'm praying that there is, because that's an easy fix. You just got to conspire with their family, man. Knock, knock. Hey, you got any dead bodies?
Starting point is 01:43:18 No? You want to become one? Yeah. Because if you do, I got you. Fuck. How do you fuck, I gotcha. Fuck. How do you fuck with an undertaker? You can't. He'll kill you.
Starting point is 01:43:30 Yeah, he's dead. He'll chop your penis off and you... okay. You gonna... you wanna fuck with me? When you die, I'm gonna cut your penis off and, uh, put it in your mouth. Yeah, and then he's gonna write... he's gonna write it in the autopsy report like that too. Small penis. I'm gonna switch your penis with an... with his mouth with your mouth with your asshole All right, I'm gonna switch your penis with this other guys pain
Starting point is 01:43:51 I keep a little tiny penis in my office so I'm to his hands Yeah I'm gonna sew the little penis to where your penis was and I'm gonna accidentally pull your pants down and Everyone's gonna come at your funeral and look at your tiny Sewed on penis and think that that was was you are you sure you want to fuck with the undertaker that's his big speech like pulp fiction dude the grave diggers nevermind I don't fuck with that that's the only reason for you to get better now so we can have the grave digger call in when your mom dies
Starting point is 01:44:24 I'm gonna inject a bunch of dog semen in her and then write that in the fucking autopsy. Found with two pints of dog semen in her. Her eyes are bulging out of her nose. Leaking out her nose. Are you sure you want to fuck with the Undertaker? Eyes. People are like, you know, suddenly I have a lot of respect for this man How am I supposed to explain those jokes to my son yeah Meet the undertaker obviously
Starting point is 01:45:02 Okay, do you think all the like cops and like everyone he's had to deal with before is like, oh this fucking guy like- Yeah like Ace Ventura. Yeah, they're like, ah Jesus. Fuckin' Undertaker's here man. God damn it. Please, please walk by me, please walk by me, please, oh thank God. Don't make me stay fucking best on shift for this shit. Dude.
Starting point is 01:45:26 And he dresses up in weird costumes too, probably like steampunk shit. Knock, knock. Hey, what do you think of my steampunk outfit? Pretty cool. Wouldn't you say? It'd be funny if he just dressed like Undertaker, the wrestler.
Starting point is 01:45:38 But he's standing at the scene like, I'm not taking that body. Like you have to. Family said, you gotta do it. Oh, great. It's that guy. Oh,. Oh fuck not him. You just take the body. Uh, I don't know Did you see anything unusual? At the crime scene Why don't you look again?
Starting point is 01:45:58 He shows even like a DMV outfit outfit he probably has the most satisfying job in the world knowing he gets to like fuck with people at that and again he's doing it's all the right thing yeah nobody wants nobody wants to fuck with dead bodies mm-hmm well and you want closure you know if you're the family right you want some sort of closure on what the fuck actually happened. Yeah, right He's actually like I Got you. Yeah, I got nothing to do. Yeah Neither do these assholes fuck them Wow how fun um
Starting point is 01:46:38 Okay, do you want to watch the I Got fat watch I got an erotic story, but I think we're gonna run a little long I can only take about two hours before my yeah tonight is starts screaming. Well, we got the warehouse or the comic-con footage, too You got the comic-con footage Let's watch this. I saw that there was another warehouse visit, but Yeah, where is Uh... Yeah, where is...
Starting point is 01:47:06 Here? I just want to start, like, if I know I'm gonna make someone's day longer by my presence, if I have to show up instead of studio, you know, in the middle of this project I've been on, right? Yeah. Show up dressed as the Undertaker. Like, oh no, not this guy, now we gotta stay till he's done. Like, fuck. Not this asshole.
Starting point is 01:47:24 Nah, god damn it. And we gotta stay till he's done. Like, fuck. Not this asshole. No, I did not, god damn it. And he's coming in yawning. Oh, I just woke up. I got all day. A-ha! Fresh cup of coffee. Can I, uh, can I have your coffee? Uh, yeah. Uh, excuse me? Yes, you can have my coffee, yeah. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:47:44 Thank you, I got it for you. Ah, that's better. That's better So where's the body? Point to it point to it with your nose Uh-huh. That's good more like more like more out. Oh, I see it. All right makes everyone wish they were dead My bands playing this Friday, are you guys going to come? Here's a flyer that you have to take it. Yeah, I'm not doing anything. Friday we're playing Saturday too. I'm not doing anything Friday or Saturday. It's a noise band. It's a noise band. Yeah, it's me working a moog. I have my Venmo just screaming into a guitar
Starting point is 01:48:25 pedal and looping it all right let's see here Doot doot. So this is SeanSkitzotv, I think his name is. He's a funny guy, he came to Hackamania. He dressed up like a bunny and went to Eric Jilai's stupid warehouse. And I mean, it's just insanely, Eric called the police on him too. Why wouldn't he, man?
Starting point is 01:49:04 Yeah, that's the 911 call that we had That's a signature move. That is it's his signature move now. Just call the cops on everybody This is I don't know. This is a Dallas comic-con, I think Something like that yeah and Sean from skit so t Sean skitzo TV went here in his bunny outfit to pull up. He pulled up! On Eric July, which Eric July openly invited all of us to do. He said pull up.
Starting point is 01:49:39 He said pull up, which meant fight, and then he said it actually means to talk. Like men. Oh. Okay. We didn't want to fight anyway. So... Pulling up. Too busy messing with dead bodies. You really want to like mess around with people who are... Who are using dead bodies as leverage?
Starting point is 01:49:58 I can't stop thinking about the fucking Grave Digger dude. That guy is the fucking man. That guy is the fucking man, bro! That guy's the fucking Grave Digger dude. That guy is the fucking man. That guy is the fucking man, bro! That guy's the fucking man! Okay, so he sent this footage in. Riley cut it up for me, and he helpfully says, Confrontation starts at 40 seconds. Don't skip around knowing that I would skip around. So this is day two. Schizo Sean has gone back to the conference because
Starting point is 01:50:30 he got kicked out by this Indian lady previously. American Indian lady. Maybe I should watch that too. He got he already got kicked out and as he gets kicked out they're like they won't let him film Eric. Yeah. You know because God forbid God forbid anyone make fun of Eric right. They won't let them they say you're not allowed to film Eric even though nobody you know that's retarded. So he goes okay I'll just leave can I go way? And he walks through them and then he's right by Eric as he leaves he goes, hey Comicsgate says hey Eric! Like right in his face. It's so funny. Okay so this is day two and he's gone back after
Starting point is 01:51:15 getting asked to leave he's gone back. So let's see what happens. what happens. He's in line at Eric's booth. And people are taking pictures of Eric July. And I don't know if he's wearing a bunny outfit this time. I assume he is. Okay. There's ISOM and achromatic chronicles, whatever the fuck. There's shit.
Starting point is 01:52:04 There's one of Eric's, this guy's one of his enforcers. This guy stands around acting tough in case any bunny men, in case any of my bunny battalion shows up. Cause there's a lot of us. You never know who is in the bunny battalion. You never know, man. Until they put the ears on.
Starting point is 01:52:20 You see how, I think he notices, right? Look at that. Look at those eyes It's like a caveman stare eyes of a noticer yeah his His fight Reflexes triggered there see that at a nerd gathering yeah See he's coming over Yeah. How are you?
Starting point is 01:52:42 See, he's coming over. I need you to step out of the line and come with me for a moment. I can't do that. I'm here to see Eric tomorrow. Oh, now I'm sorry. I apologize. Ah! Ah! Okay.
Starting point is 01:52:52 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! So the woman says, I need you to step out of the line, and he says, I can't do that. I'm here to get an apology from Eric. Which Eric told him to do.
Starting point is 01:53:03 Well then, if Eric told him, do well then Eric told him what the fuck yeah I need an apology because I've been lied about Eric July has lied about me to the police and this man right here has lied about me. You didn't come see, didn't talk to me at the warehouse, but you lied to the police about me. Step out of line. What I can't do about it, I'm here to see my buddy, Eric DeWyde. Whoa! Oh no, they're grabbing him!
Starting point is 01:53:33 Oh no! Damn. They're pulling the hand move. People love doing that. So some guy's reaching over to try to grab his uh, his camera while this lady's stripping him of his badge. Whoa, ow, ow, that hurts. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:53:52 I can't do that. You're gone. I can't do that because Eric July is right there though. But Eric July is right there. I can't do that. Let's go. I'm sorry that you have this weird obsession. It's not an obsession.
Starting point is 01:54:03 They called the police on me and lied to me. Well, that's the huge problem. This man right here in the orange shirt, laser eyes Brandon Johnson. What the fuck? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA right here laser eyes Brandon Yes, please I need an apology Eric I need an apology Battalion will never stop until we get an apology Brandon Johnson laser eyes I need an apology Battalion needs an apology from the rip-a-merch, please! Just one, Eric! The bunny battalion will stop! All of this will cease if we just get an apology!
Starting point is 01:54:52 Yeah, we need an apology. We're lying to the police. You've not- I need an apology! You are no longer have a badge. I need an apology! You are no longer have a badge. What a fucking idiot! So this fat bitch cuts his badge off and says you no longer have a badge. You're outta here!
Starting point is 01:55:12 We can't find a reason to kick you out because you're not doing anything. But people without badges aren't allowed in here. So give me that! Hahahaha! Just classic- just classic fucking classic You got to get out of here why I'm not doing anything just standing here. I want to meet the big shot Well, just here for an apology man. Only people with badges can be here. I have a badge now you don't You fucking fat pig bitch, uh, okay But do you know if Eric July has a gun he threatens to kill people at these things and says he carries a gun
Starting point is 01:56:03 illegally I was a gun he threatens to kill people at these things and says he carries a gun illegally early checked How's it so that he got patted down? He got patted down. Let's go. Wait, where's the PD? Where's the PD? You don't need to worry about that. What are they? Let's walk, but I need an apology I don't need anything from any other person. I'm a Can I ask you a question what would you do if someone lied about you to the police? Would you just accept that? Ask questions, yeah, get them talking. Am I implying about you to the police?
Starting point is 01:56:34 For no reason. And this guy, this guy can't handle it. They can't handle it. Fuck. I've asked you multiple times kindly to remove yourself from the situation and now you're requesting it. Why? What does that matter? It is time to go!
Starting point is 01:56:51 The Bunny Battalion needs an apology. Let's go. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology. I need an apology! You're gonna get arrested! I need an apology! Someone from Eric Jalai and Brandon Laser Eyes Johnson over here. I need an apology! I need an apology! I need an apology! I just need an apology. That's it.
Starting point is 01:57:24 People melting down. When she's trying to raise her voice, it's like... She grabbed him. Yeah. She tried to sexually assault him. That... What's her name? Do we have a name on this woman?
Starting point is 01:57:38 She was probably trying to anally penetrate him. I think so. Non-consensually. That's called rape. Let's see. That's it. That's all I want. It, that's called rape. Let's see. That's it, that's all I want, it's just a simple apology. Who is this fat tub of shit? Why is he just standing there?
Starting point is 01:57:56 He's not buying it. Is he blocking the view? Mate, I don't know. Why does he have a walkie-talkie? That's like a life alert. Oh yeah, I ate too much. Yeah, exactly. Come help. Maybe? I don't know. Why does he have a walkie-talkie?
Starting point is 01:58:05 That's a life alert. Oh yeah. I ate too much. Yeah, exactly. If I got my apology I would leave immediately. Boop 90. Eric. What? Okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:58:21 Eric, I need my apology. Hey, I'll just stay right here. Eric, I need my apology button. Brandon, I need my apology. Let's just take a walk. I'll just stay right here. Eric, I need my apology button. Brandon, I need an apology button. You're blocking the fire, you guys. Oh, sorry. Wait, wait. But I just need an apology.
Starting point is 01:58:38 Eric, don't ignore me. The bunny battalion needs an apology. The bunny battalion needs an apology. Riley needs an apology, we all need a party They dust their hair off like that. Yeah, what's that Eric? They've called the convention cops on the bunny, but the humble bunny man Has gotten the convention cops called on him and now the real PD all because I wanted a simple apology for lying about me and threatening to kill me
Starting point is 01:59:11 I can't believe this we got his short bodyguard walking around Eric Eric, please buddy, please just an apology and all of this will end you can sleep safely at night Please I Mean, what's up? Honey. I just need an apology. That's it. Now I feel like we're on the wrong side of each other. What do you mean? Because you're upset about the police. Shut up, Fedso.
Starting point is 01:59:33 You want an apology for him saying something about the police, but you've been asked multiple times to leave his property. If Eric and...or if any either of him or Lisa... So when do I get my apologies from you? I'm sorry I've caused you the same inconvenience. No, I don't accept that apology. Go back over. Let's do action. Don't take this shit.
Starting point is 01:59:50 Let's remember words hurt. True. But that's not your action. But they don't break your bones. Yeah, so let's do the good action. Well, a good action would be getting my apology from Eric July. I think the good action would be to move on. The good action is going to be to move on.
Starting point is 02:00:03 No, the good action is to get an apology for threatening to kill me. He's threatened to kill me. He's threatened my life. I just want an apology and this can all be solved. It really is. I mean it's really that simple. I'm sorry that this means so much to you. It does. If someone lied to you, if someone lied about the police, if someone threatened to kill you and lied to the police and then their short bodyguard, it gave you a smile and you know, we're going to handle you. Oh my. Listen, you know, I, he could just shout over here, just apology.
Starting point is 02:00:35 I don't even need to be over there. He could just shout to me. Eric, Eric, can I get an apology please? He's looking. What? Okay, good job. She was calling for backup for so long and no one came to help her. He threatened to kill me. Have you checked in for a gun? As soon as they touch you, you go, I'm being sexually assaulted! I'm being sexually assaulted! Hitting him with the, that's laser eyes, but man Right away, okay, let's do You can't just give him an apology. What the hell? What's his problem?
Starting point is 02:01:25 Yeah. Uh... Mr. Scurvy says, uh, check out this catwalk, okay? Let's check it out. What do we got here? Oh, that's, uh... Oh, I've seen this before. Oh, no! Okay, a big fat woman starts stumbling on the catwalk And then takes a nose- a side dive Oh wow
Starting point is 02:01:57 That's rough. That's uh, let's see when does this when does the the speed wobble the fat wobbles begin? Anytime they're in not flats, you know anytime they they're in heels, even if it's just a one inch heel, that's a problem. Well, you have to think, right? Because with the daily accumulation of fat, it's always, your body's always trying to balance itself out. So then when you add in what looks to be 45 degrees of tilt, right?
Starting point is 02:02:25 Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. That object is staying in motion. Yeah. She's sauntering like she's in flats. Yeah. But she's wearing heels maybe for the,
Starting point is 02:02:37 and the great practical joker put this catwalk on stilts here. In the middle of a fucking mall. Right across from Victoria's Secret. Oh, you think it's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? Maybe it's advertising for Victoria's Secret. Like, hey, don't be like these fat bitches. Come over here and fit into one of these.
Starting point is 02:03:03 Oh, whoops. Okay, uh-oh, there's the first wobble. There's the first fat wobble. Oh Whoops Okay, oh, there's the first wobble. There's the first fat wobble. You see that ankle go sideways the left heel Has lost structural integrity Man now let's see what's gonna go wrong with it She over corrected right the left heel buckled and she over corrected, but she couldn't stop the momentum Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I missed it. I missed it. Hold on. I'm gonna get a good one. Okay, and right... there! Right there, we can see major loss of structural integrity on the left heel. And then...
Starting point is 02:03:55 here comes the right heel, is about to buckle. We've got two buck- We got two bucklers on this one. One too buckled my fucking ankles. God damn it. Jesus. Wow! One two buckle my fucking ankle Wow Wow, it's gotta hurt And she's throwing her hands out as if to stop a freight train You ever see that game stair dismount? No, it's a it's like this guy like one of those like caution sign guys standing on top of stairs
Starting point is 02:04:26 And you can point where you clear put where you kick him down the stairs at okay? Looks like someone's playing like catwalk dismount or something like that you get a higher score for how much damage you cause This is a there's a prize-winning round right here. God damn knees first into the ground those knees That's it. This was the last this was the last straw for these knees No more meniscus Okay, good one you think anybody tried to stop her that day You can't possibly walk that you took the catwalk today. You're too fucking fat. Oh, you mean suffer from getting on no, there's There's the slay Queen you go girl. Yeah, you mean stop her from getting on? No, there's...
Starting point is 02:05:05 Slay queen, you go girl. Yeah, who's gonna stop that? Did anyone successfully walk to the end at this fashion show? I need to see more clips from this. Every single one of them. That was the warmup. They're like, okay, that was the rehearsal.
Starting point is 02:05:18 Yeah. God damn. Okay, this woman is, uh, professionally disabled. Let's hear what she has to say. I do for work. I don't. I'm professionally disabled. And his job is...
Starting point is 02:05:37 Is taking care of the professionals. He gets paid for taking care of me. Instead of doing it for free. Yeah. Because let's be for real, sometimes taking care of me. Oh my god. Is that a woman? Uh. What's wrong with young men? Why are they so lazy? Uh.
Starting point is 02:06:00 Don't they need to, don't know they need to go break their backs so this tan- this fat bitch can revel in her joy and personhood? Have I actually physically stunned? Like oh man. Don't these young men need to know that these lesbians can only share their beautiful disabled love? If you're breaking your fucking back. This is what your tax money goes to everybody. Yeah. I have to feed you. I have to make sure you're a babe sometimes. I have to feed you. I have to make sure you're bathed sometimes.
Starting point is 02:06:27 I have to take you out for enrichment. Enrichment? Like uranium? You sometimes have to dress me because I won't dress myself. Yeah, you're literally not dressed now. You have to make sure that I take my socks off because sometimes I forget I'm wearing socks and then I cry about- Sometimes I shit in my socks.
Starting point is 02:06:52 Okay, I can't. I can't take any more of that. Thank you. Actually revolting. Yeah. Happy Pride Month. A woman arrested for allegedly hitting a boy who called her fat and Miss Piggy on a flight home. Wrong franchise.
Starting point is 02:07:14 From a Disney vacation. She's probably upset that. That's Henson. That's not Disney, you little piece of shit. Right. Get your characters right. How dare you? Ursula would have been a bit more apt.
Starting point is 02:07:28 Yeah, the Queen of Hearts. Not fucking, not... Not Winnie the Pooh shit. Not Winnie the Poop. A woman was arrested for allegedly hitting a boy who called her fat and a Miss Piggy What was she eating or what food items did she have in her hand at the time multiple that's what How many which yeah, which hoof I mean, all right, let's see what
Starting point is 02:08:04 Disney World vacation instead She made her first appearance in front of a Seminole County Judge Tuesday charged with felony child abuse. Allegiant flight 2885 to Hagerstown, Maryland was set to take off from Orlando Sanford International Airport just before 2 p.m. Monday. But according to this arrest report, cramped in and witnesses on the plane tell police the child called cramped in fat and Miss Piggygy telling her she couldn't fit in the airplane seat. That's when witnesses say Crampton began hitting the child with her fist and then hit him on the head with a water bottle. This kid's honest up and he gets it. Fat Miss Piggy, you're not gonna fit in the seat.
Starting point is 02:08:47 She went from just one child saying it to now the whole news telling everyone. What a hero. What a little champion. Yeah. How are you gonna fit in the seat, Miss Piggy? You and your fat fat fat ass over there. Huh?
Starting point is 02:09:06 Kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh. Is that sucrose in that water bottle or? Little detective over here, you know, just like, wait a second. Is your, um, is your pussy sweat, uh, acidic or are you just happy to see me? Cause your pants are stained, you fat bitch, you tub of shit. Ha ha ha ha. That's probably what he said mm-hmm Wow you Can just you can wind these fat so's up so they so let's send them all to jail Oh kids kids you can you can do this we can do this together
Starting point is 02:09:41 We can send all these hippos to prison We can send all these hippos to prison You you guys might take a couple knocks to the head and send them to the zoo You know send these fucking fat pigs to the zoo where they belong That's a fucking let's clean house. We can team up. We'll call it the nambla nambla to the North American man boy By making fun of fat women association. I just, man. Who is this kid? Where is his GoFundMe?
Starting point is 02:10:14 He's a hero. Exactly. He, um, he must have seen your clip when he was a kid too, obviously. As a kid, he must have written it. We can all do this together, guys. We can take them down. Now we know how to get them, take them down. We know how to get the bastards.
Starting point is 02:10:34 Miss Piggy. Hey, Miss Piggy. Hey, Piggy. I don't think you're gonna fit in your seat over there, Piggy. You put on a little bit since the flight started. I just love that she was coming back from Disney. Yeah. That's your average Disney adult right there.
Starting point is 02:10:50 Okay, let's see what else happened. Then the report says she slammed the child's head into the airplane window. The child used his arms to cover his head. Airport police haven't said how old the child is, but Crampton told police the child was very rude and disrespectful during their trip to Disney, and that after the child called her fat, she took his phone away. She claims he then pushed her arm off the armrest twice, and that's when she began smacking him. But police and witnesses say she went beyond typical disciplinary actions. One-
Starting point is 02:11:23 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, They didn't say it's her son. You don't correct or discipline anyone else's kids. What the fuck are you talking about? That's crazy. You're correcting my son. You're going out the fucking window. I will take a running start and shove your ass through the window.
Starting point is 02:11:55 Wow, that's funny. I need more info. She really lost her mind, man. Look at all these fat ladies in the replies Chad woman it doesn't matter whether you like it or not but but don't allow some random talk about your body You fat bitch up yours fatso Okay good one
Starting point is 02:12:37 Wow and post Piggy hey fatso, what a little hero. Alright. You know, she just spent a shit ton of money. Oh, and he ruined her Disneyland vacation too! That's so much funnier. Cause now, every time she goes to Disneyland, she's always gonna be thinking like,
Starting point is 02:12:58 don't fucking crash the fuck out, like don't assault a child. Slappy his head into the window! Like an episode of Super Jail. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? I do love that they put her in a Winnie the Pooh colored shirt though. Yeah. Really drive the point home.
Starting point is 02:13:32 Oh yeah, we gotta track that case. We gotta get more information from that case. I need to know who this kid is. Okay, this is some sort of a video sent in by Titus. Alright. Radio video. Movie with a suitcase. Y'all livin' in the disco. There's a bunch of fat chicks dancing. Forget about the rap race.
Starting point is 02:13:52 Let's do the milkshake. It's soundin' like a hotcake. Try some, buy some, eat five, four. Talk about. They had to speed it up because they went so slow. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music.
Starting point is 02:14:00 Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. Pop music. I can try some, buy some, eat five, four, what's up about? They had to speed it up because they went so slow. What's up about? What's music? Play it up.
Starting point is 02:14:08 What's music? Play it up. All right. I, okay. So let's see what else you guys are sending me here. The dad was flabbergasted. What is, oh, she has like an eating wand? Let me just have a little bite of this.
Starting point is 02:14:34 Oh, she's got an extendable fork. She's taking spaghetti. Yeah, that's hilarious, honey. So she brought the fork as a joke but has the fork always right yeah as a joke that's such a great what a bit what a hilarious bit hey wouldn't be funny if I ate your food too yeah that'd be real funny. Trish Patyas arrives at the Met Gala? Oh man, what kind of gala is this? She's so fat her tits went away. They went on the backside. Dude, this is this is absolutely vile. There's a- this woman has gotten so fat and she's wearing a like a morph suit with
Starting point is 02:15:34 With like white leaves all over it covering her covering her I mean, she looks like a naked baby wrapped in a Wrapped in some gauze and then her hands and feet have this weird white hair Like from a rave all over the place. This is an outfit that wouldn't look sexy on even a hot woman Yeah, it definitely looks bad on a cabbage patch doll and She's giving that smile that fat women give where they stick their tongue out like a baby Sinclair from the dinosaurs Like Earl Sinclair the baby one, yeah. Yeah, the baby. It's that big, like...
Starting point is 02:16:10 ...open... To make their mouth look bigger. Mm-hmm. Or maybe they eat so much they can't smile all the way anymore. Oh, yeah. Stick their tongue out to fill in the gaps. Why did the photographers even take this picture? Phew.
Starting point is 02:16:24 Phew, wow, okay. Well. Man. And here's from Royce. What do we have here? This is a woman ice skating. A fat woman. Ice skating.
Starting point is 02:16:43 Pretty gracefully, I guess. Fat woman is ice skating Pretty gracefully I guess And she gives a little You got about two millimeters of clearance on her hop yeah her death lotus See the ice starting to crack? You can see it behind her. How do you learn how to do all this, but you're still this fat? How does that happen? You have to beat the, uh, oh man.
Starting point is 02:17:26 You know what? You can be as fat as you want. You got me. You it's because she's on ice, right? So her knees, she can always dip down and get her knees and some ice. Well, the cooling from it too. Yeah, it's the cooling. You don't use your computer in a hot desert, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:17:44 Is it on ice?, right? Yeah. He's not nice. All right, everybody. Dick.show, patreon.com, slash the Dick Show. Come out to Boston. Come to Boston. You know? Come out, say hi. Carl's got some clips.
Starting point is 02:17:58 I think Vinny's going to be there. Carl's whole crew is going to be there. Doing the cop slide? We're going to do the cop slide. Whoever eats the most shit down at wins. Doing the cop slide? We're gonna do the cop slide. Whoever eats the most shit down it wins. What do you win? I don't know but something. Yeah you win a cop slide prize we're gonna do that. I'll make you a custom vest that says cop slide survivor or something. Cop slide survivor. There you go. Fattest cop slider wins. There you go. Fattest cop slider wins. There you go.
Starting point is 02:18:27 Fattest crash out on the cop slide. Whoever falls the furthest out of it. Oh, man. See you next Monday. Here with the pizza guys! What do you think about Pete Buttigieg? You guys like BLM right? You guys like causes right? You got nothing to do. Yeah me too! Hey you gotta finish that pizza? You only ate half of it!
Starting point is 02:19:03 Can I have the other half? Pizza? You only ate half of it. Can I have the other half? It's a condescending. You gotta reach out to young men. Let them know about the free pizza. You gotta reach out and grab it. These guys are just sick of getting judged. They need to get laid. Oh crap. These guys are just sick of getting judged. They need to get laid.
Starting point is 02:19:29 Nah, man. We don't need help with that. We don't need any help from the likes of you and your weird perverts on getting laid, actually. Yeah. Fine, we're doing fine. Not everybody, but we're doing fine. We're doing a hell of a lot better than you guys, actually. We're not all on, you
Starting point is 02:19:53 know, weird depression medicine like all of you guys. We're just working out and doing normal things. So we don't need any help in that department. Yeah. We need help in the buying a house, you know? That department. Quit leasing houses, quit leasing us video games. Quit leasing us houses. Yeah, I know you guys can stop it, just turn it off. Quit leasing us fucking Pro Tools.
Starting point is 02:20:21 No more leases. No more lea- man. Shut it down. We're moving the show to audacity fuck this Yeah, fuck Pro Tools fuck that 23 bucks a month. I'm sick of that. God All right, goodbye see ya everybody

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