The Dick Show - Episode 473 - Dick on Buffy

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Adam Busch in studio, Raja Jackson beats a wrestler half to death because he was disrespected, SUPERKILLER is released, the Cracker Barrel has fallen, men's idea of romance, Indians defending Indian defending Indians, fat Black bicyclers, and Shaquille O'Meal vs. a door; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Adam, do you know who this guy is? Not personally, no. He's a right-wing comic creator. Oh, I know who this is. Readable. Reading comics, you know? I do. It's a big deal.

Heard he raised a lot of money for a good cause. He, yeah, the cause was being black and conservative. He raised a lot of money for that cause. He's, you know Riley, right? Riley visited this Gravestone I think he peed on it or defecated on it

That's what I read online I don't know if that was true Well everything you read on the internet is true So yeah he did something to it He dry humped it at least But then Eric's Back here

Posing with it Kind of odd I don't know He's got like a death grip on it here Yeah well there you go it's a big week it's a big week

did you hear the news Johnny did you hear the good news I heard the good news you heard the good news that half the project is finished the it's official the low res black and white online PDF version

of Superkiller is out it's launched for your enjoyment and review? Are you caught up on the Vito stuff, Adam? It didn't take long to make this comic, right? They donated real fast, real in. It didn't take long, but it took a long time to release it. There it is.

It took about a couple months to make it. Yeah. And then changing jokes, swapping jokes. You know, you're a, I mean, you're kind of a big shot. I don't want to build you up too much. but you're familiar with the process of creating scripts and acting especially, a lot of people. You'll have to forgive me.

I'm not a Buffy fan, so I can't talk to you about Buffy for four hours, which I'm sure you would like. No, thank you. I'm good. I just ate, so I shouldn't. Yeah, but the creation, the comic was created in about a couple months and then swapping the jokes in and out, moving the period around, you know, is it better now, here, better now or better now?

better now or better now one of those deals that took about three years and how are people responding to this are they loving it uh i don't know i don't know how to i know how to answer that johnny how are people responding to super killer the release it's low res

i hear that a lot that's the only thing i've seen about it so far yeah that it's low res kind of been kind of been in the hole again so you know it's like getting to getting to see that the digital version was released it's like oh man I finally get to finally get to read it one of these days

so many versions have been released Vito sent so many versions to people that he's now enemies with that there's like a glut of it's like a there's like a backlog or a revision history of every version of the PDF that's gone out for review

with confidential friends who have now become betrayers and backstabbers so they're doing like side by side reviews of was this joke better here like a kind of like a behind the mute like what happened with a steely dan record you know let's go through and analyze every single comma and quip and see which one's better so a lot of that so that's the point of this comic is to just offend the people he doesn't like that's what he's doing that's what it is no offend the people he likes oh these were his friends when it started yeah all of these

people were his friends when it started and now they're now they're now they're bitter enemies okay of what he wrote? No, uh, yes, but not in the comic. Because of what he wrote online. So, for example, last night, last night, Frog Tony, you know, is, uh, going over Superkiller, breaking it down for his audience, you know, this is, this is, this is like a normal review. This would have been better this way. This would have been better this way.

And this guy, this professional comic book artist comes on. And he gives some very mild critique and suggestions. So Vito goes into another secret chat group and starts saying that that guy's late and he's swindling his customers and these sorts of things. So the guy who's breaking his back to be nice about Superkiller and says over and over, you know, this isn't a slam. I'm just saying it works better this way. Snaps and says, you're dead to me. This is shit. This is amateur at best.

And these are the fuck-ups. And he goes down. Liam Gray, that's what, that's the kind of, uh, that's the kind of, uh, release it's having. Well, that's very exciting. He must be very happy about that. That's why I'm here. There's nothing more I love than the intellectual, surgical dissection of just the stupidest shit you can find. Oh, you're gonna love it that. Okay, good. Yeah, you're gonna love it. What, um, okay, so you've had, you've had a career in acting, but I don't even know what you're, honestly, I don't even know what you're doing here. How, how did you get stuck with Carl? Was it

Like a, is it like the Mighty Ducks? Did you get a DUI or, like, tweeting while? It's not part of my parole agreement. It was really, I was a fan of the show. Yeah. I was a fan of this whole locale world. Yeah. It was during COVID and quarantine and all that.

That I really fell into it hard. Yeah. And I. Adam Bush, by the way. I didn't have a very good job introducing you. And I realized as they were covering. You're the best part of Carl's squad. Even better than Carl, I think, though.

I don't know about that. you don't know about No, I don't know how to smile talk as well I'm kind of a downer I'm not funny I kind of bring the mood to a halt That's kind of my special skill Carl can't stop smiling

Yeah, so it's kind of his orthodontist He's got like the joker thing Where they're, do you think he has an orthodontist Or do you think He's got two Oh wow You probably need a specialist And a somebody

He's got a bad one and a worse one That's us on the show We're bad cop, worse cop Yeah I realized that I had a background with stuttering John and that I bet I could convince him to get me on his show

and when I was obsessed with Eric the actor from the Howard Stern show God, I miss that guy! That guy was my favorite guy of that whole show. Like I had a real visceral reaction to that story and I found myself listening to him

to go to sleep at night and then I found that there are like thousands of other people out there that listen to Eric the actor to go to sleep. And even though I knew what was coming when he dies, it like broke my heart.

I couldn't believe he was dead. And John came around The algorithm knew They're like, if you like Eric the actor Then you'll love WATP And they were right I saw Carl covering John

covering Opie And I was like this Scratches that same itch I really like this And I realized I could get John to put me on his show Because if I had a chance To go on Eric the actor's

American Idol wrap-up show Dude dream Right? Did you? No So I'm like I gotta make up for it with this I got to get on Did you ever talk to Eric the actor?

No I did. No No. I wish I did. So I'm trying to make up for it with John. So I got on there and we had a couple interactions. From there, Carl invited me on and I just never left. I brought my generator and my gear and I'm just like, I'm in.

Okay, let's start the show. I got to do the theme song. Rip Cobra? I don't want to hear about that. Rip Cobra shit. Do you know who Rip Cobra is? Fuck that guy. A fucking idiot.

I fucking weirdo. Yeah, Rip Cobra. Some fucking is. Do you know who Rip Cobra is? Some weird, degenerate freak. He sort of just died, right? He just died, yeah. Good riddance.

Yeah, he was horrible to animals. Horrible. He was? Oh, yeah. Were you sexually molest them? You'd blow pot into their face and stuck his, like, lizard on a pole. No, it turns out. They don't like that.

Sorry. Both dogs and cats are just dogs. I would never do that to a dog. I don't think animals like it at all. I have done it to a cat. Yeah, they don't like that. They don't like that. I was a kid though

I was like 37 I didn't know any better I was high myself That's fair I'm sure cobra was as well But he murdered these animals He did Yeah they either disappeared

Or he showed you How they were murdered And then offered you got a chance to buy them Keep them for your very own Wait what Collect them trade them Like their skeletons Or them on some

Somebody can verify Wait he's like a taxidermist A home taxidermist He did a thing like that And he said people can Now buy it. And then someone did. No, this, he is a horrible guy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. I was, uh, I was just making fun of people, you know, saying rip that guy and a bunch of weirdos came in, our Reddit and started saying they were going to, you know, end my life and stuff and all the stupid shit that people, people who don't understand who they're dealing with, like, come in with a lot of swagger and they're like, oh, they don't care about this stuff. That you like that.

Isn't that the best? Yeah. Yeah. When you're in a position of power and the other person, doesn't know it. Yeah, positions of power is really, yeah, is really the best. I'm obsessed with how all the major things we have to do in our life

like that are traumatic for us, like a funeral or being brought in by the cops, you're always doing something for the first time. And the person you're dealing with deals with this all day, every day, and it's completely over it. Yeah. I love that dynamic. I know.

When my son was born, it was like the same thing, because the nurses come in, you're there for two days. And then leaving, I'm realizing, like, they have, they're just in this constant state of x-raying, like, people who are on the verge of death and they don't really know, you know, it's like the nine-month culmination of creating a human. And it could die at any moment. Usually they don't. But at any time, they're like, huh, okay, well, let's get, he's breathing a little odd. So let's get six x-rays right now. Like right now. I'm going to hit this alarm and we're going to do it right now. And they just do this every day. That's like their faces are totally. interchangeable. And it's the most important moment in your life. You're going to remember this day when your baby was born, when somebody died. You're going to remember all of it. And they're not even going to know what happened. They don't even know you from the room next door. It's like you're the loud one. I love it. Yeah, okay. That's great. I tried to do a sweep in here because nobody's sat in that chair for a while. Vito usually sits in a chair. Yeah, I don't know why he doesn't

want to come back in here. It's great in here. I don't know why he's choosing to stay away. It is great. I love it here. It's great here. I did a, I tried to baby clean it out because this desk is usually a milk station and uh i don't know i don't think like that's i think it's maybe one of the grossest things if it's not your milk uh refilling bottles and stuff like that so if you see anything weird i had to adjust the cameras a little bit to crop the r the fucking factory out behind you if you see anything weird say something well what's great is that there's so much weird in here i didn't even notice the milking station right in front of me Yeah, there was an empty milk bag there.

I'm like, man, if there's one thing grosser than a full milk bag, it's an empty milk bag. I caught it right before you walked in. So, usually I'd say that any residue would become, but today's the only day I would say otherwise. Is there any extra, or is it all gone? I can hook you up. Thank you. You want some, you want to... How much?

How much? No, no, no, I want it straight from the... You want me to soda straight? Oh, you want a straight from the... I don't know, well, maybe I could help you do that. It's two for a reason. uh okay i've got isom three stuff and super killers out i sawm three the big mystery of my isom three notes are up the big mystery of how isom got his powers uh was revealed in isom three the comic book

and the answer is uh jesus christ gave them gave him the powers that's what i that was the look i gave when i was reading it i love when they base it in reality so it's grounded something to believe in. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, healed Isam's relative. And so there, as a byproduct of the, like, an after effect, side effect of the of the healing powers of Christ, his entire family tree has, has superpowers. Amen. That's beautiful.

This is the guy who was sued by a Christian ministry for stealing their trademark and then called them fake Christians because they would sue him for violating their trademark because he didn't Google it. That's why he's taking this picture in front of the headstone because he says he got the name I-SOM from this

and not from the Isam Christian ministry. Wow. I just like the blues song idea of pissing on dancing on somebody's grave. Did we get anybody dancing on the grave? I guess we didn't, did we? Well, someone needs to put like a Looney Tune style like G.G. Allen sign over the top of it. And there you go.

We need a trail cam set up permanently on that grave. Like he will not divide us. Have you seen the illegal network of cameras that they have downtown? I have. You used to live downtown. I've seen some of those streams. It's crazy. Dude, how are they getting that shit up there?

I don't know. What do you think it is? I don't know. That's probably someone from those apartments. It's just... You think so? Yeah. Tapping into the power

down there? Yeah, it's all tapped into the power. I have the link. Let me see. I load it up. They brought a UN ambassador for third world countries to downtown L.A.

and she was like, this is worse than any of those third world countries because at least in those places like there's some place for them to go. Here there's nowhere. No, there's no escape.

Yeah. Let me pull up this video. It's really crazy. This has been tasked. Yeah, okay. So this guy's going around L.A., taking them down. and he doesn't know who's putting them up,

but they are being put up. Let me put it up here. Okay. Can you hear it now? And this one in particular is right here in the heart of Skid Row on 6th Street and San Pedro. Well, close to San Pedro. My job today was to take it down

and look for any other ones that were hit. being put up. And you can see here, like, they really did a good job. It looks real professional. Look at this shit! ...attachments, the NEMA power supply from the top of the streetlight that goes down. And it goes to the equipment. It has professionally put, like, they have routers.

They have their own router. Signal repeaters. Wow. It's pretty crazy. And then I could see myself on the other cameras that they have. And they got them all over. The time as I was doing it, I could see myself on their stream. to have more cameras across the street

So we've got two governments going on here now I guess surveilling us It must be the government right Because you can't do that That's a crime to film without kids It's the cartel doing that shit It's gangs doing that shit They're plugging it into the city's version

And then they get both So they use the cameras to like look for cops and their drug drop off points and shit I mean obviously right Johnny You're in the You're a worse guy than me So you're, I'm a family man now. Right, you are a family man.

Yeah, so you know what's going on here. Allegedly, if you had to guess. If I had to guess, I would say some nefarious activities of foot. Of what kind, I have no idea, but. Something somewhere is happening. What are we going to do about Super Killer? Wait for the second one, of course. What are we going to do about it?

Me and EVS have to review it, you know? That's going to be a great episode. Yeah? Should we make it a bonus episode? episode here? I think so. I think he's got a paywall. We can pay wall at here and his... Cool. We got to go through it. I'm going to design a rubric

to determine what is a better story, Super Killer, or Isom. Right, yeah, we have to go through... Yeah. Like, what, which... the characters, you know, are they relatable? Do they have an arc? What's their

is the motivation clear? Setting. Is it believable? Does it affect the characters and the storyline or is it a backdrop you know a very objective rubric right with which because so many adam so many of these comics that these people are putting out are just fucking trash they're amateur they they write a first draft and then they just shit it out like they get so excited to show you their penis they just print the first version of their penis without editing it at all and they all have they all make the same exact fuckups right like it's not like

Like, it's not like you're, you know, like, wow, is this a thumbs up or a thumbs down? It's how many thumbs downs are in this story. So I'm going to build a rubric by which we can judge two very similar comics. I saw him and Super Killer. Anyone saying otherwise is fucking delusional. These are both first time writers that didn't edit or have a second draft. So they're very, they're very similar. they have very similar mistakes.

I think it will be very interesting. Well, now, will the money and team behind it come into a way? Will that have like a weighted effect? No, I'm going to ignore the delays because that's not in the, it's only what's on the page. If it took you 11 years to ship. Well, not so much delays as it is like, okay. What it is, yeah. Yeah, it took three people for this one and it took however many people for the other one.

I'm just judging what's on the page. Okay, just what I had to clarify before someone else wanted to dig up. You got to read these and give us your... If I may, I don't think I need to read them. I think I got it pretty much. When you said, you know, he's got his dick on the page. Like, that's why they did it. That's the only purpose.

When I see something that's, you know, religion first, you know it's a piece of shit because what's important to them is not... Have you seen the character of I some? I feel like I should get a little more in depth with it. I feel like you should show me. He's got a crucifix on his penis. There you go. That's his costume.

Wait, let me see if I have it. I-sum cover. Yeah, okay. Here's one. I-s-a-sum-seat cover. And this whole time he's saying it's not a religious comic. Damn it. Where's a good one?

Isam. Rip averse. Isom. Here's him being a stripper Just doing a striptease Look, right here See that? There, there, there, there.

I sounds... Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? What do you think of the symbolism is for that? I was in a folk band for a while And I wrote this song about jerking off called Let Me Die with my trumpet in my hand.

Yeah. And we were asked to play it at churches and religious functions because they never knew what it was a dog. And if you hear it, you hear, oh, that's all about jerking off and coming in your face. And I feel like that's what this is. This is just like, come on. And they don't see how obvious what they're doing is why this feels right to them.

When an artist is like, this just feel, oh, don't you fucking love that? You're like, I can see why it appeals to you, buddy. You're jacking off with Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. And it's right on his dick. It's not even, like, it's kind of uncomfortably low. Like, if you saw a guy wearing underpants or shorts that low,

you'd be like, come on, man, there's kids, there's probably kids around. I don't know if there are, but there should be. Not, you know, pull your pants up. Yeah. Put it a little higher. Oh, a sag on top of that. He's got saggy jeans showing it off.

That's worse. Yeah. Not beating the stereotypes. I mean, if you asked Marilyn Manson, he had to wear a cross, that's where he put it in his show to just be like, fuck you. What was your folk band?

You played at churches and stuff? Common rotation. We played all over. We played for the yuppic Indian. in Kotlik Alaska touring the... Really? What was that?

That's cool. Well, this was actually when Sarah Palin was running for president and when you're in these like remote fishing villages that you can only get to from dog sleigh, they have Putin, pictures of Putin like in the school.

Yeah. So she's like, you could see Alaska. I got pictures of Putin in the nursery here. What do you talk to raise them right? That's awesome. We want to let him know who the real leader is. Not that bear one. I want him to discover that one on his own.

Just normal KGB pictures. They'll fall in love with it if they discovered on their own. You want them to just find it. But no, they're closer to Russia than they are America. Yeah. And they'd never seen a black person and the only person they wanted to

The only thing they wanted to know is, have you met a black person? Are they good at, are they really good at basketball? Yeah. They're obsessed with basketball. Yeah. I mean, that's true, right? We performed for them and then they... I was talking about the kids. Yeah. Oh, the kids. Okay. Oh. No, this is not downtown L.A.

Yeah. from they were they we performed for them and then they performed for us this dance that's a mix of like traditional moves

handed down from generations and like shit they've seen on are these like Anuits Yuppic Indians Yuppic Indians so yeah

they live you know there's one building there's the school and then they live in these little trailers or huts yeah the the rate of like

there can't be any drugs or anything because they will drink the heating fluid from inside the trailers because there's you mean because they're so into drugs there can't be

isolated and there's no one there and nothing's doing it's fucking cold it's very cold but they would perform this dance for us why were you why were you performing there just for the hell of it we were a popular folk band touring around what they might be giants in a bunch of bands and we would get this letter once a year

they would say you've been nominated by the tribal elders to come play for us and then we'd get another letter you were not not you did not win okay then one year they're like You've won. The elders want you to come up. Come on out to Alaska.

We've got to go. We shot a bunch of music videos. We had a blast. It was a really incredible experience. No shit. They'd never seen people in suits. But this song that they performed for us was the story of the time they got in an airplane and flew to another village to play them in basketball.

Because that's the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the history of this village. Who won? I didn't even know. It didn't even matter. It was just that they got on the plane. They've combined interpretive dance with basketball? Yeah. That's their native history.

They've got to bring that down here. No, we're good. We got enough line dance, and we're good. They can combine that with the murals, too. Were you here when they started with the Kobe murals? Oh, yeah. Downtown, the angel murals? Which one's your favorite?

My favorite mural is the Edward James Almost by MacArthur Park. Yeah, well, I wish it wasn't by MacArthur Park. Yeah, I wish it wasn't described as the Arthur Park, McArthur Park one. But yeah, that's a good one. What about the guy with the violin on the freeway? Yeah, that's not a painting, though. That's like a picture or something. Well, you know.

Yeah. It's white people graffiti, I guess. How can we take this in every day and have no idea who it is and what it means? I was wondering that. I was sitting in traffic going, I wonder if that guy's dead. Because I've been, yeah,

just too expensive to take him down. It's like a 10-story picture of a guy with a violin who looks like he was kind of harangued into being there. It's incredible because it's so big and it looks like this was not the best picture they took. It looks like he's saying,

I'm sorry, I play the. violin like I'm sorry yeah I don't I don't know my mom just like made me do it I'm sorry you're here at the symphony at I know parking's expensive but we got we got it we're gonna play one that you know that that's a hit we like that one um you miss it downtown no no I don't I miss New York that's where I'm from oh yeah what do you miss about New York I was just there I got recognized How did that feel?

Not the greatest feeling in the world Yeah it was great The guy said Hey are you Dick Manchesterston And he said yeah And he goes I don't watch your show And I said okay

And he goes But you interviewed Nick Fuentes A long time ago And I remember that Isn't that the best Isn't that the best People will never understand Just say I love your show next time

Yeah It's like I sat down here You're like yeah I never watched Buffy But it's like I didn't fucking ask you Why would I even bring it up So I know that you

I know you shot one of the lesbians on that show, on the show. Right? You very basely, for some reason, I don't know what you did. Riley was telling me about it. You killed one of the lesbians on that show. Yeah. It was like one of the first lesbian kisses ever on television. Yeah.

It was a very wholesome relationship, and it was a show about, like, vampires and monsters. Right. And I was just a piss off kid with a shotgun who shot her in the head while they were making out. And people did not react well for it. And to this day, they do not react. Do they hate you? Specifically. I mean, like, you as a person.

Like, is it that bad? Like, Skyler? I'm very unlikable to begin with. On top of having this, it's like a bad combination. Like you're saying, you get this thing in New York where people are like, oh, I know you. And then I watch them figure out where it's from. And I could tell what they recognize me from based on the reaction. And when it turns to like, oh, fuck you.

I know exactly what it's from. And they don't get over it. No. I started at Nickelodeon. And I was used to kids being confused about like, you're an actor on a show, but you're still that. Yeah. That's a whole other thing.

I know. Which is very true. You can. Damn it. Damn it what? I meant you escaped it. I was trying to trick another. I did.

I'm adept at that, but we can circle back if you like. Oh, this is, I'm trying to answer any of those questions. It's very hot right now. I love those TikToks. I really do. Okay, you were saying about New York. Do you want to do this here or do you want to step outside? Let's do it again.

Let's turn all the cameras. off, right? Johnny. So I was renting about something. New York and Buffy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But people feel obligated to tell you, like,

oh yeah, yeah, I'd never watch that show. I've never watched that show. I don't watch the Carl show where you're on that. I was a fan before I was even on there. I'm just trying not to fuck it up. You do the funniest interviews with like the quad-fog. What's that guy's name, Chad?

Oh, Zumach. Chad Zumak. Yeah, they were really deep into it, those guys. Yeah. Like, into psychosis. Yeah, I love it. I'm obsessed with it.

I don't know why. It's me either. I could watch it all day. Like Aaron Imhold, I could watch it all day. I'm not hate watching. I would be sad if you stop doing it. Yeah. I don't want anyone to break the toy, you know?

Yeah. And he thinks all we want is for him to go away. They all feel that way. And it's the opposite. Yeah. All we want is for them never stop. And, like, do more. Don't turn off the show at night to keep going.

to keep going around the house? Like, I want to see everything. Stuttering John just came back. I was driving here with his What's Buggin' Me About Hollywood show. And that's why I was late because I was sitting at the car watching this. Listening to him dissect the movie Parasite

as if it's a new film, I'm just fucking riveted. I can't look away. Did it just come out on Netflix or something? No, it's been out everywhere. They come out on Pluto or freebie. It's just him. It's just him.

It's just a fucking idiot. Now he's getting into it. So he's going to teach us about it. I'm like, go on. What does he have to say about Parasite? It's a good movie. I never thought I like a movie with subtitles, but here we are. It's amazing.

Of course. And, you know, I am kind of like the host, right? That's me, where everybody's sucking off me. Isn't that really what it is? Oh, the rich guy. Yeah, he's saying he's that, John, and we're all the parasites. Love it. Okay, wait.

I have a series of links that I'll put up for discussion. I've really got to figure out what to do about it. Have you read Superkiller, Johnny? No, I can't even read. Lucky you. It's been great. You know, reading feels like reading feels like

when you're at the beach and you let your feet sink in the wet sand and then you try to you try to run without or you try to walk without pulling your feet out of the sand. That's what reading Super Killer feels like.

Oh, you know? All right. Let me try to find this. Let me try to find some stuff here. Oh, yeah, I got to. cracker barrel that's a good one women's idea of romance this is this is the first one i'm gonna women's idea of romance this got a lot 10 million views everyone seems to agree with this

uh i don't women's idea of romance is i'm the guy saying i'm gonna kill you and he's strangling her and she says harder daddy and then men's idea of romance is uh being a gay like dancing with this woman in a French Impressionist painting I don't think I don't Johnny is this your idea of romance dancing

not even maybe touching on the pinky here and frolicking in a Is this one of those AI generated memes where nothing makes sense because it doesn't understand humor? I don't know a lot of guys seem to agree with this really? It's kind of bleak and depressing

though If you're a man and you're identified, and I show you these two pictures, and I don't want to identify with, what I see without the label is two women that are a pain in the ass. I see, oh yeah, I'm getting dragged to some cotillion, and I have to dress up and wear a tie. How long do I have to keep the tie on? And tell me when to start the clock, because that's what it's coming off. And then in the one, the woman getting choked, I'm thinking, that is like the most annoying. way to have sex will you choke me?

I would love I would do I would love nothing more than to than to bring my feelings of wanting to kill you right to the very edge and have to repress them while maintaining an erection

and having to like do it just right like bringing a spaceship into the atmosphere right I would love nothing more than to do something I get absolutely nothing out of thank you

just adding a quick time event to it all Yeah Yeah Tap me If I do If I'm strangling you too hard Tap me 150 times

And I'll know it's too hard You gotta mash X To keep the little line In like the center Yeah Now hold square Yeah Right

I just see two very annoying women Adam What do you think about this What's happening I get the point They're trying to make About how Now because of

politics Men are coming off as soft and women do like that sort of thing and there are many women who do want a safe place to express all of that but now I guess men are too afraid to offer you help with your luggage

or offer you to hold the door because people get shit on so they're going to the extreme I see the first one the second one's a reach The second one's a reach right? We're not going to the maypole dance I would like to see the family feud

that generates this as men's idea of romance survey says not one single man said that's my idea of romance it's depressing if men are so desperate for women's attention that they're trying to gaslight

women collectively into thinking that this is what they want well we don't care what they want whatever you want it's fine like even the first thing if that's what if it turns you on sure whatever that's great I don't care I'll do it yeah whatever whatever but I don't care nope yeah I don't have a preference but if it's not working for you be honest about it. Yeah, let's see. Oh, it's about India.

Let's see. Here's another one. Here's a petition to, let's see. Semi. Did you see that guy driving the semi that cut across all the lanes and, like, and killed a bunch of people? Yes. You did see that?

There's a petition to free him. Jesus Christ, almost two and a half million? Yeah. What the fuck? that's a lot that's two and a half million too many how many Indians have

internet that's what this is measuring two 2.5 million people want a free a plea for fair sentencing for this guy that did a U-turn across four lanes of

of highway traffic which should be death penalty right there and then somebody hit him and they died the family a family of like three or Something hit him, ran into the U-turning truck.

They were probably all in their phones. And they all died. This is 2.5 million people for this. But what is the argument for freeing him? What's the reason they're saying he's been really? Well, I think they could probably sum it up for you. Here's... I think I want to hear it from you.

Jesus. Here's what they are. This guy didn't even take his turban off. It's an upgrade. I support Herzjander Singh. It was an accident. He made a terrible mistake. Not a deliberate choice to harm anyone.

He was working hard to support his family like so many of us. And one wrong decision... Why is he doing FaceTime like my parents? It's the top of his head. It's the top of his head. It's not just it. Thank you. Okay.

Pretty compelling. reason, right? Let's hear this one. It was an accident. He made a terrible mistake not a deliberate choice to harm anyone. He was working hard to support his family. It's the same audio as the last guy. No, there's no lullaby music on this one. A 45 year prison sentences and all the justies.

Can you speak the fuck up? Bro, what is happening? Why did these people get access to our our vaulted institution of change.org. Is this website not geo-locked? It should be. To Americans only, or what? Are these guys in?

Hello, myself, Kulwinder Kar. And I'm in the sport of Arjinder Singh. I know it was an accident. He made a terrible mistake. Not a deliberate choice to harm anyone. Get your fucking baby's hand on your face. He was working hard to support his family, like so many of us. She's got the baby.

Maybe doing the hand that, you know, like the thinking hand. 45-year prison. What is going on? The same thing that happened at Microsoft is going on here. Hey, hey, hey, can we give this guy a break? He just did what any of us would do. Drive sideways on the freeway. You know why?

With an illegal CDL license. Right. You know what I'm realizing is if you scroll up to the top again? If you look at the title, it's. it's written like spam Yeah Free petition So I think everyone thought it was free

So they just signed up I'll have a petition Yeah Yeah also yeah Plea for fair sentencing It's like use fucking real sentences First Like what the fuck

This is LovePreet From Mississauga That's in the US Isn't it We'll see look Okay look at that first one

Yeah That was like the script They're all reading Yeah It was an accident He made a terrible mistake Oh yeah Like so many of us

You're right Yeah See like they're all just copy and pacing that shit 2.5 million of them Sookvier We support him Ramon Uh

How far do you think I have to stroll Before you get like a Johnny Oh A Tim Honey Okay I guess that's close Nope nope

No Oh, I'm afraid not. It's a dick name. Arsh deep. Yeah? Okay. Okay. Bacchendir Singh.

Let's see what you've got to say about it. I love it. Not even in the change, not even in the petition for freedom. Can they turn that music off? God. What would you rather hear in an Uber? That or Chinese Google instructions? I got you beat.

I had to take an Uber one time, and I heard Christian music. I was all in Tagalog. How does that sound? Oh, man. You know, I was already... Were you in one of those vans where they drive you around and drop you off?

No, it was the single... I was the only writer in the fucking pasture. It was awful. Okay, he messed it up. All right. Well, I think it's like, you know, they don't have

prison sentences like that. In India? India, I don't know about. But a lot of other countries like, you get 10 years for murder. oh yeah 15 like we're the only ones that that take it seriously like you guys that do these huge sentences so they're like 10 years

45 years whoa my friend murdered his own family he was out in five like it seems severe for them I think you're right I was like well let's cane him let's just kick the shit out of him we beat his daughter what else can we do to him I was reading

I don't know why I was reading this I was probably watching true grit too much and it was saying that in the beginning of the country the way that most murders would be I guess solved and abdicated was the person who did it would just come in and say hey I murdered this guy and this is why and they would say okay well you know it sounds like it was self-defense

first of all thank you for admitting it's a big step yeah that's what it was it was like an honor system like yeah you know he mistook me for somebody or I mistook him you know for somebody and he was he was laying about threats so I killed him Wow And then the punishment would be I guess they would either hang him or let him go

Oh yeah Probably a bounty on the other guy I don't know Well we can't get rid of an honest man But he is a murderer so Yeah Okay let's see here I just don't like that he was playing that music

Because when people spoof things like that And they play those obvious music beds I'm like come on think of something better But then you see the actual thing And you're like oh fuck Okay let's see here Kid drops a toaster in a bathtub that's pretty funny um let me see if i can find oh the cracker barrel logo

maybe strong opinions about that none none at all here it is well it's like the thing we've been talking about for years right it's just this like simplification of everything so the fact that it's finally reached cracker barrel is like it's no surprise Because it's like when something finally gets to the outer edges of the universe, like, oh, shit, they changed the Sizzler logo? Like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Who would have thought? They even changed the color of the cracker barrel part, too.

Well, my favorite comment so far was they got rid of the cracker in the barrel. They did. So it's like why... Now it's just food. To just be a yellow, whatever the fuck that is. This poor guy up here. I wonder if he's still around. Oh, no, they executed him.

They executed him. Oh, that's good. You probably deserved it. Okay. I don't think it's inherently racist to you guys, or do you think it's all like this was a whitewashing or a woke thing? I think this is how all of the corporate logos move into less and less and less until it's just cold.

Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with the people who are, I think it's like they try to change stuff, but they can only go so far as the things they understand, which is like, well, the logo. Yeah, I understand the logo. Let's make it look more like Target. Like, I go to Target. It's like a middle-aged white woman who's the CEO for this.

They also change the interior of the restaurants, too, didn't they? It looks like, awful. I mean, it looks like a brutalist McDonald's. It looks horrible. Let me see that. No wooden chairs anymore, just those little plastic booths with spoons on the wall for some reason, because that's... Yeah, here's the woman that did both. the Bud Light marketing and the Cracker Barrel CEO change.

You see, as someone who looks like them, I know that's not relatable. I know that's a punchable face. I'm very aware. I can see that. I hope they can. Three white women changing our lives for the better. Here's what the inside looks like. Yeah.

This is something cool. At least it's a little bit of what you'd think Americana was. an oar for all your oaring needs all that riverboat paddling you're doing yeah you're taking your kids there look at this oar kids you could you could think about a canoe that'd be fun to think about canoes you got a wagon here you can't touch it but you could think about doing a wagon and now it's uh now it's just a fucking McDonald's is these is these the spoons that you're saying yeah whatever that is on the right or rolling pins rolling pins there you go This is bizarre.

It's like a Pinterest Rolling Pins restaurant. Yeah. Mugs. Oh, it's depressing. Do you think it has a significant effect on our brains? This world totally devoid of color? Absolutely. Yeah, right?

Here's the... Here's something I've found on this. I found myself. I've got to get a new piano. Because the other one was too big. So I've got to get a new one for upstairs. and I found myself yearning to get a blue one or a red one or something

just to see something colorful in my life. Yeah. You look at those pyramids and stuff, and we don't have to get into that, but the hieroglyphics, it's so much color, it's so much detail. Any of these things that were built so long ago, there's so much detail.

Really? Yeah. Like, they wanted to be, like, in this room. Oh, yeah, weren't they like white? The pyramids originally? Oh, they were like, yeah. Clear white gold top that show. Yeah, gold top.

Presumably not a lot of people we're seeing. It's just endless things for your eyes to catch in detail and design like this. Just endless stuff to look at. I don't think we're meant to be like that. Like this. Solace and without inspiration. But I can't even imagine the mindset into the mindset of these CEOs pushing for stuff like this now. It's really simple.

We need a big change and it can't involve any risk at all. Yeah. So we won't introduce. We've got to get the white guy out of here, first of all. We can't, I can't have anybody looking like my dad on here. The barrel, the kidney bean even, just a, I guess it's a barrel. I didn't even realize that was a kidney bean. Is it?

I think it's a bean. It looks like a bean. I don't know, it looks kind of beanie. Now it looks like nothing. Now it looks like nothing. Yeah. That looks like the corporate offices for a. It looks like a cafeteria.

Yeah. You did a wee work? Yeah. Jesus. Where else am I going to buy my six? Dixie Dixieland hits on four CDs. Okay, let me see. Oh, yeah, this was a good one.

Raja Jackson, a wrestler, tries to kill somebody in the ring. This just happened today. All right. So this is Rajah Jackson, just KO to WWE wrestler. So they're doing a wrestling thing, right? Here is, this guy's a wrestler right here.

And, uh, this guy is an influence or a YouTuber, something like that on kick. This guy's a pro wrestler. This guy's a YouTube, or a, uh, a streamer that was doing, like, a wrestling promo. Uh, here we go. Knowingly. Hey, hey, hey, oh, you got to stop this, man. Oh, oh. Fucking R2 D2 in the background, Jesus Christ.

The ugliest scene in wrestling. You! So what had happened was the day before, in building up anticipation for this fake wrestling event, the pro wrestler had opened a fake soda in the streamer. Who happens to be African-American? In his face to build up tension in front of the crowd, like in shoot him with a soda. And he was really upset by that. And he harbored a grudge.

He harbored the grudge. He harbored the grudge over here and decided to try to kill him. Yeah. He thought he was on a carnival cruise, I guess, and really... Miss took him for the DJ that wasn't playing hip-hop anymore? Yeah. He had some kind of an... a moment.

I think Aaron Magruder found a name for that. I can't think of a name for that. Yeah, pretty crazy. But he's apologized and said, hey, I went a little too hard on this guy. I'm sorry, I'm sure he... Well, it's funny you should... It's funny you should say that

his dad came out. Let me see what his dad said. His dad had an interesting response to this. Here's his dad watching it. His dad is a famous, I don't know. fighter of some kind i'm not i don't follow any of this shit uh yeah let me see it is he going to your band for it he's going to prison dude what he's talking about

that's what child was saying this that was bad so i do i pay this check now or Looking at it. Ooh, fuck. Okay, what the fuck? Right? Oh, Sneako knows what happened there. Now he's thinking. Now the gears are turning.

All right, all right. Let's work under the assumption that he didn't do nothing. What happened here? Here's what his dad had to say about it. Oh, yeah, not this. I want to clear up the misinformation about my son, Raja. I've been confirmed, I've been confirmed, prison, that the wrestler, Stuart Smith, aka Silo Stu, is awake and stable.

Raja was unexpectedly hit in the side of the head by him moments before the match. Raja was told he could get his payback in the ring He was told that he could Get a coupon, this was part of a deal Beat an unconscious man Until you're pulled off by seven people It's only fair he brushed up against him wrong earlier in the day He hit him with a soda

In the ring I thought it was a part of the show It was bad judgment And a work that went wrong Raja is an MMA fighter, not a pro wrestler, and had no business involved in an event like this. Wow, it's everyone's fault. It's the people for involving him in this event. It's the soda. It's the guys who told him that he could get his payback in the ring. He just made a little mistake. There's a lot of mistakes

going around. You notice that? A lot of mistakes going one way. Raja is an MMA fighter, not a pro wrestler and had no business involved in an event like this. I don't condone my son's actions at all. You should be condemning them. He suffered a concussion from sparring only days ago. It's like the fucking Blues Brothers with this shit. I've got, I'm out of gas, you know? It's Locust, please, you got to believe me. And had no business doing anything remotely close to physical contact. As a father, I'm deeply concerned with his health. and the well-being of Mr. Smith. That being said, I'm very upset that any of this happened.

See, this is why I think O.J.'s kid did it. You know? And O.J. just jumped out in front of it and said, hey, ugh. That being said, I'm very upset that any of this happened, but my main concern now is that Mr. Smith will make a speedy recovery. I apologize on his behalf. and to kick for the situation. Wow.

I love that language. Who teaches him to talk like that? It's unconscious. Is it? Not taking responsibility. We, the situation. This had happened. My son is violent and can't control himself

and has no judgment over what's happening. So if you say, go punch that guy, he's just going to punch him till he's dead and then he's going to keep going. So you see how it's on you. Yeah, I would think it would be hard to generate this off the cuff or even like while working on it, I would still accidentally work in some accountability. But you watch Aaron Imhol, you've seen Stuttering John, it's just what they do. He says we every other sentence.

There's no we. They all say we too. Fucking Vito says we every time he says anything. It's, well, we'll try to do that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You really, to talk to them, you really have to be on every single thing they say. say, no, no, no, no, no. It's crazy. Yeah, Aaron Imhol, what were you saying? He looks to people

that aren't in the room. They're like, get a load of this guy. You see this guy? You see this guy? And there's no one there. He says, we all are kind of, yeah, laughing at you. It's just him. We were talking on the show. I want to see that final shot of the episode where he's done and the camera pulls up and it's just him alone in this basement. Talking to people. Oh my God. Like the Santa worker who takes his head off and like just a break from Disney for a minute that's him talking about how he's winning he's winning he's winning

he should wear a giant emholt head like a giant head that looks like Aaron Imholt he should put that on and stream that's brilliant because that is his life yeah it really is right there that's the metaphor um and what how much money what's he making on that show it's so weird that we live in a time when these people can live out massive dysfunctions for what is a pittance of money a non-survivable amount of money. But that tiny amount of money and

access and audience is enough to propel their delusions. It's enough to feed their delusions enough. Because before the internet they would never do, they wouldn't be at home acting like this or maybe they would have had a family. They wouldn't go out on the street corner because they're not that crazy. But there's like this limbo now where that level of insanity can exist and be fed

by an audience that is basically non-existent. Might be bots. Or that hates them. Or that hates them. Actively. Yeah. I think also a lot of it has to do with how they define themselves, like all of these people define themselves as broadcasters or comedians. They have to be that

other in society. And when they can't say that anymore at the bar, when they say, what do you do? And they have to say, I work at this restaurant. They can't say, I have a podcast with some people you might have heard of them. I'm in entertainment. Yeah. They don't care. They have to. And Stuttering John, that's why they get addicted to Stuttering John because they're like,

remember the Howard Stern show? Remember Stuttering John? I work with that. And that goes over so much better than, you know, it's just a podcast where I talk about my life. They'd become addicted to it, and it's more important than anything else. Fuck, I forgot what I was going to say. Did you see the Stoney's stuff?

Oh, yeah. The Cornhole tournament that Aaron was doing? A little bit, yeah. I heard his karaoke. Do you hear that? Aaron's singing. Yeah, dancing around. Yeah, what was he singing? Oh, invisible touch. Like a song in no one's key. I don't know what that. Nick Ricketa said he's singing that, like, to him.

And I said, wait, wait a minute. Now it's extra weird. I don't want to know that. It was like, he said it was some song that, the last song they sang together or something like that. Like, Nick. He misses Nick more than I think anything else. Which one misses, which one more? I think they both miss each other in unique ways.

I think Nick is a little more level-headed, but it's still very powerful. Like, he hasn't dropped, he's not over it. He's really pissed. And he's not a guy who can be pissed. I get pissed, fly off the handle, right? I'm very aggressive and hurtful, and I mean it. and I'm not sorry but I don't think Nick's like that

he's like a nice guy like when he he was on this show I was like well okay well what's your enemies who are you going after now that you're clear what's the list

and he's like no I'm not like that I don't have hold on I'm like what what are you talking about you need to do that you need to write a list and I'm a fan of Nick's I like him I love him too

I think he's intelligent he's got a level head about a lot of things but when I showed up at Hackamania and he was there I was like this is not good this is like a guy

who's clearly not over his ex and we were like you know what let's throw a convention have a convention and you're gonna come and he's like yeah this sounds like a great idea

this is just what I need and it was that weekend was very unhealthy there was a lot of toxicity going around it was from veto canceling hackomania and all that shit that's when my ear shit started

and it was culminated in that there was a lot of converging toxicity happening at that event. I mean, the people that paid got what they came for because it would be two in the morning and Nick would be there sitting at a table talking to two, three people telling the same stories he just told.

This is like a cruise where you get to spend the weekend with your artists and there they are talking about their ex. What the fuck is like, are you going to the content house thing? You are going of that? Yeah. Is that Carl called in and it was talking about it and I'm like, this is like parisocial weekend. Like this sounds

like a fucking nightmare. You've got to be on and telling, like, performing the Carl character that resets? Like, you gotta have a new show every hour? How the fuck do you do that? I don't know, I couldn't do it. I'm pretty skilled at it. I've been doing these convention-style things for a long time, so I can compartmentalize. Yeah. What do they ask you for at the Buffy stuff?

It's, uh, they're mad at me. They're very mad at me. For killing? Yeah. And you killed. I ended this, uh, lesbian relationship. Yeah, yeah. And, uh, they wanted to talk about that. They really want to talk. They want to work through their feelings about that. That's all all of the conventions are. Listen, this is a convention. This is Comic-Con. Comic-Con is

my dad and I used to do this thing that you were involved in and I think of you and it brings me closer to my dad but my dad's dead now so I just have you so I follow you around. And there's a part of you that goes, you know what man I feel so bad it's going to be you and me for the rest of the day

But you have to feel that bad for every one of like you have to feel that bad for every person that has that in them I thought so in the beginning until I tried to help and then I realized oh no matter what I do this can only end with me going all right well this was really fun have a great

you know and they're going to go oh I get it oh I get it so it's like that huh I knew it and you're like what's the worst one of those you've ever gotten somebody like spurging out like you know you're Mr. Big Shot huh? We flew to Alaska to play in a Russian fishing village and then when you get on the dog

sled to go away. Oh, so you're not like... You're not going to move here? Now, okay, fine, that's how it is. It's always... And I've been like that too with, like, artists I like as a kid, like, I get it. You just have to realize, you can't

solve. I can't bring them back to that feeling they had with their dad. Have you ever tried to... Do you have... Like, hey, I'm going to bring your dad back to life. Not go home. And watch the show. It's hidden in there. Oh, that's fucked up.

That's actually not bad. No, but I did feel some responsibility until... I used to love Sergio Aragones and Mad Magazine as a kid. And he was a Comic-Con and his drawing was the cover of the Comic-Con magazine and

he drew a comic book store like this and in it was a little picture of these three characters from Buffy. One of them was me. That's my favorite. That's me. I got to go tell him. And I get in the line to tell him and I buy the magazine and I went Wait a second. What the fuck am I doing? I'm that guy. I'm that guy.

And he's going to dismiss me And give me that smile that I give And I'm crazy What am I doing? That's what I realized Yeah So I get it It's okay

It's okay I have this experience A couple times where You know we do a lot of We do some fan shows We do shows right And they're great I love meeting everyone

I really do And every once in a while Someone will come up And they'll go You know hi listen to the show when I was, you know, going through med school or I was going through, you know, high school or something. This last question, like,

all right, I don't want to take up all your time. And I'll feel myself going like, wait, like, no, come back. Take up more of my, and I'm thinking, what's happened to your mind where that's your impulse? Like something has been fucked with in your mind. You need to regroup and think about it. Have you been criticized for people being like, you don't spend enough time with people

or you're not personable? No, not really. but I'm not playing a character like you're part of a way bigger thing I'm just being me all the time I would think it would be way weirder when you're known for being a fake person that's more in their mind

than in yours you know their consumption of your materials as playing a character has become something totally unique than anything you have and it has very little to do with me yeah so you know I've played a lot of characters

I've got to figure out what they're responding to yeah do you know what I mean And at the end of the day, just realize that it has nothing to do with me and that I can't fix this. Yeah. You know? They also, it's very important, I learned this over the years, you have to end it. So don't feel bad.

They need you to end this conversation because they're excited to meet you. It sounds like a fucking knife. If you don't end it, it's going to go on forever because they're like you're still talking. You got to, so you got to go, would you like a picture? And then you take the picture and you end the thing. And you go, thank you. It's done. If you want to sit there and just be nice, it will never end.

Okay, let me see what else I have here Yeah, the guy fighting Uh-huh Oh, you ever bring like a rubber shotgun with you? Would you like to be next? No, but when I was just in France They were bringing me guns to sign Oh shit!

And I was very, whoa, like you can't just do that. Why do they have guns? They're not necessarily real or their prop, but they look real And I used a gun So they're like, and would you recreate? I'll go like this And you, and I know there's pictures out there of me doing it, and I'm not proud of it. That's an instance I wish I'd be like, you know what?

I don't want to shoot you with this fake gun in France. Maybe we could just smile. I don't really give up. Everybody wants, yeah, I don't know. Whatever. Okay, who's your favorite low cow on Carl? There's so many. Yeah, I love Stuttering John.

Stuttering John. That's the ultimate for me. What do you think of his lawsuit? Did you guys read through that on the show? It's so funny. It is. Stealing couch cushions. dabbling in internet comedy

yeah that's where the term dabbling came from yeah I mean I think it's a joke but I think it needs to be taken seriously god that sucks you know

somebody accuses you with a crime you have to just validate it first and then you can tear it apart yeah what did you tell Carl I said it's going to cost you yeah I saw your coverage here

30 grand yeah 30 my Madick sued me it cost me like $50,000 and I didn't I probably didn't need that good of a lawyer. But you actually set precedent.

You actually like... I don't know. I hope so. I feel like you did. That's the case everyone refers to when they talk about this stuff. Yeah, in the internet, yes. It's definitely the... This is the fuck-up not to do. If you do this or look anything like this,

like suing somebody for making fun of you, you have lost. You have fucked up way more than you're going to lose in this lawsuit. I think it set the precedent for that. um i said i told carl um right off the money that it's going to cost and like try to make that back and whatever you do uh try not to make fun of the lawyer and because my lawyer told me that when i when i got sued by maddx uh i would do bonus content for everything like i'm gonna i'm gonna tell juicy secrets of like embarrassing shit that maddox did because he's like an idiot you know

Behind the paywall. Yeah, and I had years of, I'm sure I still have years worth of stuff. God, we got to do a bonus episode. Maddox did a comedy roast battle with this friend of his, and for some insane reason they've recorded it and put it on YouTube. We got to do a bonus episode of that. So I would do the bonus episodes, and at one point in the trial, some guys in the Discord found out,

that Maddox's lawyer had a DUI had so many DUIs that he needed an interlock device on his car so I said um well we're sorry let me turn this down I said okay so we're gonna do a bonus episode reading the DUI transcripts this will be hilarious right fuck this guy this guy's just as this guy's just as bad uh or worse than Maddox like this guy's the one tricking stupid people with a grudge into suing normal people because he's trying to get money out of

like the lawyer's trying to get money out of the victim, the plaintiff, right? I mean, both of them are, both of them can you know, burn for it. But that's, that's the dynamic that's happening here. Like the person's too stupid. Maddox and Stuttering John are too stupid to understand that they're getting

taken advantage of by a, by Scheister, right? So I said, all right, we're going after the lawyer now. this will be this will be great right nobody after goes nobody ever goes after the lawyer you go because everybody's like entitled to their legal defense or whatever so fuck that let's go right after the guy um immediately a tRO gets filed against me and my lawyer by the lawyer and my lawyer calls me and says oh yeah you don't want to you don't want to do uh you don't want to release that bonus episode and I'll tell you why um because the judges see lawyers as like their own people like no matter, they're not concerned about who's the scumbag is or whatever, but they just see

the lawyers as their, you know, their protected class. So if the first thing the judge sees is you attacking a TRO that says you're attacking the lawyer, that's going to be the judge's impression of you for the case. And it's going to be you attacking the legal, like, the profession and the concept of like fair trials and stuff like that. That's going to be bad for you. So if it's like on the fence, it's going to go you know you don't want to do that um keep going after the other guy i'll tell you not to but you're going to do it anyway that's fine but uh and he said he said explicitly he said you're paying me for this advice this is whatever how much however long this call is this is going

to be eight hundred dollar advice for you so you can not take it but i just want to let you know that you paid for it so you know keep that in mind um because then with carl's guy the lawyer was was some kind of, he also got some kind of DUI. Lawyers love DUIs. They love alcohol. That's why you got to go one step further. Take it right to the judge. You go out to the judge. That's what Nick did.

Oh, how that one came. The judge that granted the search warrant of his compound, of his Coke compound in like three minutes, was a judge that he'd gone after before while he was drunk on stream. I think, I mean, he was right, but I think it still happened in that order

that's interesting to know that they all see themselves as in the same class and we're all civilians if you're in the legal system you're one of us that's interesting so they take it very personally they take it personally when you do it okay um let me see what else i got here uh i got some comments all right phone tractor um i agree that bob ross campaign cabins she's his fucking christman also a ross used his television show to promote a line of art supplies and class recordings building what would become a fifteen million dollar business bob ross and incorporated, which would ultimately

expand to include classes taught by other artists trained in his methods. You think Bob Ross made more than that off his wiggly cabin. Do you know Bob Ross? I do. You know he can't paint cabins? Why is that? Have you ever seen a cabin of his? No, I've only seen the happy trees

and the kind of nature setting. Yeah, you're lucky. He can't paint anything straight. He can only paint nature. If he tries to put a cabin in it looks like trash. It looks totally fucked up. What is that? What does that come from? I don't know. That's weird. But he can't do it.

Anyway. He's not good at painting, man. He's not good at painting. That's why. He really is making accidents. Evan says, John Breaks Bad News. Dick, I just got done listening to Episode 471. God, do I love John from John Breaks Bad News?

I'm using voice to text, so it spelled his name wrong. Thanks a lot. And I'm not going to fix it because it's too much work. Why don't you utilize John's services to break bad news to your troves of enemies? Go fuck yourself in Spooge's Johnny. Evan. Do you know John Brakes Bad News? No, I don't.

He calls people... Yes, I know that guy. On the phone, and he's like, I've got to tell you. Yeah, yeah, I've seen those. Okay. He's got a deadpan delivery. Mm-hmm. Not trying to sell it.

It's really funny. Mm-hmm. And then he calls people and tells them, like, so-and-so died or they have cancer. It's kind of dark sometimes. I like it. Yeah, it's good. I like it as a service.

Shivan says, I'm on holiday. Sharing a caravan with my three kids, husband, mother-in-law, and the shitty niece and nephew. I'm putting my two-year-old to bed and I put my earphone in to catch up and as soon as I press pause, Johnny says fat bitches and I breathe a sigh of relief and all is right with the world. Thank you, Dick.

Thank you for listening. Data says Johnny's Instagram segment is phenomenal. Do you have an Instagram segment today? Yeah, check our little saved section. I got a fat watch in there for you. Oh, I got one that you were excited about. Okay. Randy said that we should do a show on YouTube

of just internet dives 30 minutes show of internet dives Randy I'm not allowed on YouTube so I don't know how that's going to happen I'll have to make an account that you can be You'll have to make an account Maybe the clip guy can do it Oh there we go Rinkly Boobie says diet stands for deporting and finifats

Eating Treats Okay maybe We're going to replace ice With a diet a squad that rounds up fat women and deports them because we got a lot of deporting to do we don't have time to figure out who

you know it's like the gold rush just go get the gold get up and then we'll pan it all later we'll pan it later we'll worry about whose claim was who's later now we're in a deporting rush we just got to start grabbing and getting rid of them

I feel like it would be easier to spot them but harder to transport them. Exactly. Exactly right. Some changes in infrastructure. We could get it done. Well, the rail networks are still all there.

There you go. And no one's using it. Yeah, we're going to have to do it. Maybe we'll have to do it in cars. No? No, you don't think so? Too inefficient? You know, they had these fires recently.

Yeah. And my wife works in nursing homes and stuff, and there's all these dementia patients. and they had to show up in the middle of the night with these vans waking up these dementia patients going, get the fuck up and get in the van!

And they're like, I knew it! I knew it the whole time! I knew this was happening! And it's just like their worst nightmare coming true. They're shitting and pissing everywhere. I think about it all the time. For years, people telling you, no one's coming to get you, Harry, you're fine. Fucking crazy.

And then they have to. It's amazing. It wasn't like official vehicles It was every hand on deck cars It's worse if it's an official vehicle Yeah If it's like an unmarked van I'm like all right well somebody will come help me Probably

But if it's marked Nah nobody's helping It's all just a nightmare Are they replacing that whole area With low income housing? I don't think that I don't know Maybe some of it Maybe we could make a deal

Probably we can make a deal I'm against it in theory But I don't live over there So fuck them You know The fact that there's nothing plan to stop these fires. The fact that they brought those patients

to another nearby hospital that then immediately burned down is just... Dude to them twice, yeah. Get to the back again! You're never going to believe this, but you're going to have to get the fuck back in the fan. They're just playing...

They're coming to take me away the whole time, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. People are strange. To drown out the old people screaming. Yeah. They're building a homeless shelter, I think, down here by the freeway so now we've got like

I don't know they're popping up every now and then but the last one that made the the next door news feed was somebody threw a I think it was a dog they threw a dog out of an apartment complex and it was

in the comments it was everybody going like it wasn't an apartment complex it was a homeless housing thing can you guys like please add that because we don't want the last thing we want to do is give homeless altitude if you're going to build

a homeless center do it on the ground people get more dangerous as they go up huh they can do more damage oh yeah yeah you can throw a dog

out of a tent that's not gonna you know did they say the color of the dog they didn't was it a pit bull I bet it was a pit bull right he was probably asking for it pit bulls could fight back

at least you hope can you Watch out for that camera there I can move this I can't move this anymore because it'll get the milk and I really don't want to get people horned up

Pit bulls have the capacity I think they're like a machine gun they have the strength right yeah but they don't have the instinct unless you teach them to what about how people say they snap

and they go nuts is that just because it's mostly single women raising them and they're like legitimately getting driven insane do you think I think there are always

signs if you look for I really studied this. Yeah. The dog is unhappy. I think they're not aware of it. I think they're stronger. Yeah. Than any other dog.

They are. Right. And they're also committed. So when their jaws don't lock, but their mental state is, if I'm actually going aggressive on you, I will clamp down and you can chop off the lower half of my body. I don't give a fuck. I am holding on. But they also love with that capacity.

Like they were bred to be the nanny dogs in the Gosford Park houses, those mansions. They'd go and tuck them in. You can see videos A pit bull will know how to lift a baby kitten From the back of its neck And just place it on a step And then there are pit bulls that want to move that kitten out of the way And they go, foof, and they throw it against the wall

And it's dead And it's just as real, it has to learn Somebody has to teach it how to be gentle, you know? Yeah Okay, let me see what else I got here I see, yeah, that's good too Chris Primer A man is arrested for saying

we love bacon. Oh. All righty. What do you got, Chris? Man arrested for saying we love bacon. Okay. Muslims are building a mosque. The story could have led one of two ways.

That was one of them. I mean, okay. This is coming from out of town. They don't even fucking live here and they're fucking coming down here. Argument for it. Sorry. Got my massive nose in that. This is it.

He was arrested under Section 5 of the Public Order Act. Suspected of racially aggravated public order offense. Wow. Did he need subtitles for that camera, lad? Was this at Oasis in Cardiff? Yeah, yeah. It's the Robbie Williams show. That is.

We won't bacon. That's probably the least offensive chant I've ever heard in that accent. Oh, they arrested him for that! Wow! A cut... That's great. You know, I kind of... I think you should... I think you should be arrested.

If you're at the level of, like, cute shit, like, I'm going to say we love bacon, the awareness is out. It's like, at this point, the UK is, like, breast cancer. Like, I know that it exists. Everyone fucking knows it exists. If you're putting the ribbon on orange juice, it's because you want me to think about tits. Like, you're trying to sell, at this point, if you're doing shit like, we love bacon, look at me, I'm getting arrested. Like, yeah, no shit. That's how you guys need to, you need to think of something else.

You need to think about, you need to think about how to solve the. problem. Not just showing, not showing everybody how you can get arrested. Oh, wow. Oh, did that happen? Oh, your whole country's overrun by Muslims? What fucking news to me, bro? We kind of have, we're deporting

100 million people over here. That's what we're fucking doing. So, you figure it out. Right? I don't know. What do you think about this stuff? I just think if he's a soldier on the front lines of this cause, I don't know why he's so proud of being taken out of the cause and left to never fight again.

Yeah. What's that about? It's like Greta Thumburg Playbook. Well, it also didn't work like the person wasn't offended It didn't help your cause And now you have to go

So what was the point? It just didn't work. You're shooting yourself in the foot For attention. This is the wrong way to do this. Yeah. Okay. I'm tired of even being upset about the UK.

I just don't care anymore. Like, they tried to sue 4chan. They said like 4chan, if you don't start stop using slurs, then we're gonna like find you and people are all upset like I just don't

I don't have it in me anymore things are going so well here I don't give a good fuck them I'm just sucks in Somalia too fuck you sorry dismantle the nukes before the wrong person

democratically gets in control because those are gonna because we're gonna have a big problem with those but otherwise fuck you guys go fuck yourselves you screwed up I don't know

um all right go the bomb oh woman alert the first female MLB umpire women alert oh woman alert i know this is a good one because i got sent by like 10 people my sister sent me this one okay mask up there here it is she behind home plate uh i think so the first MLB umpire wow that was the last first they had a woman in space yeah they had women men they had a woman uh man uh man uh then this is the last woman's first they had MLB umpire okay they got a team of 10 guys working behind the scenes and an earpiece to help her out we're ready to go in the stands some more history today Joey wits is ready we hope you're ready and here we go joy wince likes that first call from jim pao he'll take it

and i wonder if they're going to take the baseball i guess not i thought that maybe that would be kind of a big one there we go now we got it figured out yep they are going to authenticate it and jim pow will forever get to keep that ball oh first yeah won't even had the umpire face mask up there ready to go in the stands some more history today joey wits is ready we hope you're ready Okay, I mean, that's It's pretty inside Her eyes didn't seem very confident about that call either No, that's pretty

I think she wanted a strike for her first call Just call that That's not how umparing works, Jen Yeah, all right, well that could be worse I've seen worse decisions from women Okay TB says Vito armchair diagnosis

Oh hey Dick Vito is a covert narcissist Oh Okay Instead of being in love with himself He's in hate with himself Symptoms include low self-esteem Defensiveness playing the victim

Linked high with neuroticism It's only covered up by Vito's ability to convince himself That he's in a comedy zone Where things don't matter But the flip side is that it's saying absolutely heinous things like the mint rape joke and raising children to exploit them as observed in veto wars one and two once the comedy zone bubble is popped all descriptions of a covert narcissist fit veto to a tea uh this is what i'm working off of good luck huh all right another armchair psychologist weighing in on the veto wars situation do you have a psychology background are you just like analyzing people no i'm just obsessed with analyzing people i like they're motives and where they hold tension.

What's great about that advice are is that there's nothing you can fucking do about it. There's nothing helpful. It's just like, that's you. You see that? That's you. Okay. Thanks. Buddy. People love it.

Yeah. They love... Everyone's a narcissist. They love checking off like the... I don't know. It's like a bird watching. It's like the modern bird watching. Like, okay, wait a minute. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Gotcha. Covert narcissist. There you go. I can't just enjoy the ballgame. I got to keep a scorecard to feel like I'm a part of it. Yeah. Yeah. I've never

I've never found one psychological diagnosis helpful to me of other people I'm going to he's this you got to watch out for that I'm like okay

how how do I watch out for that well you know watch out be aware don't relax be careful okay

so he's kind of like an asshole no no no no covertly okay I keep an eye on it. Cade the Retard says, How do I get a girl as a 24-year-old virgin? Name change.

You don't think they like that? No, you want to start on a different... Yeah, go by John the Retard. John the Retard. Not Cade is kind of gay. The retardation is inferred. Yeah, with Cade. What are the young...

How old are you, Johnny? God, I don't even want to think about that. You don't even want to think about it. 35, yeah. I don't know. How do you get young... What are young girls like? 20, 24.

Just watch YouTube, man. Watch YouTube? They're probably dumber than ever before. That's what I'm... Man, show them something on YouTube, man. Are they into all the psycho babble shit? I don't know what I'm all that. You've got to be diagnosing covert retards all around.

Crime podcasts and YouTube. Crime podcasts. Yeah. Easy as that. Have a... Do the covert performative male thing, right? Have a crime podcast sticker on like a Yetty water bottle or something. Okay.

Yeah. And then when they see, They'll go, wait a second. You like this enough to buy a sticker? Shit, you know, it's like a sign, man. Did they like eye contact girls anymore? Or do they hate that? Do they think it's like...

Not for me, no. No. Oh, yeah. Do they go anywhere still? Are they joining in any clubs? I kind of don't... That used to be the thing to do. Like, go do stuff you hate.

Go to like a flea market where they're buying shit out of trunks and stuff. Go to a museum. But I don't think they do that anymore. Mm-mm. I was just in Athens, Georgia, and there's a college town right there, and I was walking by one of those bars,

and all college kids, all couples, end of the evening, all kind of paired off, and it looked like a cosplay impression of what they'd seen on a porn. Like, it looked like they were acting out, just like the visual representation of what they'd seen without really experiencing or knowing what they're doing.

Just touching each other and hanging over each other. Like, when I looked at the bar on the glass window like it looked like a thumbnail from a porn site but not real they were just kind of performative about it

oh yeah I don't know what that would be like if I was raised in a time where we weren't like huddled around my dad's playboy from 1976 with Steve Martin on the cover I don't know

you probably have to teach women how to interact period now like they don't know all they know is like apps and charge they phone and stuff order door

order door dash get really good at 24 get really good at the apps here's what you do here's what you do make a ton of different discord and Instagram apps and then just try

different approach like try to hit on them from different accounts just buy the account try different tricks on them you know get them in the right you got to get them in the right hour like get their sleeping their cortisol levels will ride

and fall throughout the day, so get them at the right time. It's like being a, what is it, an old sailor, right? And you're tracking like, oh, you know, you're tracking the sun or the moon, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, checking the tides. You got a clocker, right? When she's receptive to that sort of thing.

But you don't want to do it from one account. And you guys make that mistake all the time. They just use the same account, like, hey, you there, hey, you there. You got to get different accounts. Yeah. Can't be double texting, no double emails. Yeah. No double.

Get some fake profile shit. Just go total fraud with it. AI, generated guy, fake backstory, you know. What are you going to lose? It's not like you're getting pussy anyway. And then gradually change the, if the one works, gradually change it. Start learning all those skills that you've been lying about. And generate, get like, get like.

like an anamorphs thing of the guy you started talking her with and changed the profile pick every day so that it looks more and more like you and then it is you and be like oh this is an old pick yeah i don't know what you're talking about i never had any this was always my pick when i was on the apps there was one line that a woman had to respond to no matter what's that what's that what you have for breakfast they they have to answer it they can't not tell you really then they will i try it everyone listening just try it would you have for breakfast What'd you have for breakfast? They have to tell you.

I don't know why. It works. It's food related. They love talking about food. And we care about whether they've eaten or not. Yeah. Yeah. Or what they will lie about.

Tell me what you had for breakfast and I'll judge how close it is to reality. Okay. Let's see here. Advice. Call me Josh if you read this on the show. I'm a longtime Patrioni. I'm your age. Whoa.

Just divorced. after 20 years of marriage congratulations no kids my question how the hell do I start dating again I haven't dated since 2002 when I started dating

the woman I married I want to stay the fuck off Tinder but I don't know if it would be artificially limiting myself that's pretty much that's gonna be your main concern

dating at your age is limiting yourself in any way. The world is your oyster at 45, you know? This is your peak level, according to the internet. This is your peak level of attraction from women. So the last thing you want to do is shut down any of the almost nearly infinite options that you have at your disposal. I can talk with women, no problem.

I just don't know how to meet them in this age. of internet dating love your show advice it's always hilarious with hard truths in it so thanks in advance man what do you think what are single women are you're you're how old are you Adam I'm married so I'm out of this game yeah what are they what are women our age doing single women are age what are they doing they're not on the internet well if they are they're complaining about something yeah they're nuts you gotta get the ones that are not on the internet But those single 45-year-old men on TikTok

That are filming themselves lip-sinking To like country hits of the day It's like that's got to stop Do they like divorce stories Should you have a TikTok Or you just talking about how sad you are All the time Just find like a local dive bar man

That's where everyone goes No no no there's no You do not want to go to a local Type bar What are you talking about? The drags of society man That's where you end up We got no options

Have you ever been to footsies down the hill Fuck here No, fuck no. It's a fucking disaster. You know what sucks about bars now? You can't, you cannot hear anybody. Like, every bar has, every bar has more TVs than they have patrons legally, I think. And they're all at, they're all maxed out, dude.

You can't hear shit. That's why I think guys aren't getting laid anymore. Yeah. What the hell was that? Um, I don't know. Does your ex-wife have any friends? Start there. Oh, that's a funny one.

all the friends she complained about get with them fuck them first yeah yeah be like can you believe what this bitch was saying about you he's got to get a hobby

that has nothing to do with dating and just find people within that pool he's got to become good at something jacking off there you go to find a local jackoff club in your area that's the time barby do with the library

that'll leave you to the library yeah I'm trying to think what my wife does but the answer is just baby stuff I don't think you want to do that get a job get a job with an office

change your change your job to an office and then shit at work wait this guy's free for the first time in his life sounds like at least in the past 20 years

and he's already looking and get back into jail yeah whatever you do don't start don't have a girlfriend don't be doing that don't be

doing too much already listen get on the apps and say you're 6-4 and you will have absolutely no problems getting laid okay let me here we go everybody's favorite fat watch today in fat news do you have any recent clips from carl stuff i didn't bring any no i should have got some together sure for you guys they're all on the internet i should have do uh okay here's comes fat watch this is uh sent in by Chris.

Man is smothered to death after obese wife trips falls onto him and can't get back up. A man in Portugal has been smothered to death after his reportedly obese wife tripped fell onto him and couldn't get back up reportedly obese wife. Yeah, I was going to say, I think that's confirmed.

A man in the unintended victim, 59, who's been described in local media as being slight in build. This is fat and skinny fucking went to bed, dude. Fat rolled over and skinny was dude. There's a reason these old fairy tales and rhymes and shit exist, man. These are life lessons. It doesn't translate into Portuguese. Yeah, that's true.

It's a timeless, you know. The unintended victim, yeah, he's described, died in his home in the residential district of Carpentonha on the outskirts of Porto. His wife, who was a year older and weighed more than 100 kilograms, was said in tungstons. Hmm. What is that? Like a hundred and... How many seafaring vessels is that? I'm trying to think of what a Portuguese unit measurement is.

Is that 200 and something pounds? I don't... Isn't it like 6 to 10? Something like that? I don't know. It's a lot. It's said to have... Let me do the math.

Well, it's... That's kind of his fault. He was lying on the floor beside her. 220 pounds. Uh, whoops. Yeah. that is. Let's see. It's said to have stumbled as she got out of the bed to go over her partner who was lying on the floor beside her. Neighbors alerted by the woman's screams after she became

trapped between the bed and the wall of the couple's home are said to have raced to their aid in the early hours of Monday morning. They managed to lift her off of him but were already unconscious by the time the firefighters and the paramedics arrived. Wow, tragically, the efforts of medical responders to revive him after he went into cardiac arrest proved unsuccessful. The woman's weight reportedly played a key factor in her inability to get up. All these reportings. Who's reporting that, do you think? Probably her.

It's not clear how much she weighs, but she has been described locally as obese. Do you think the reporters are working on them? Do you think that a fat bitch killed? Like, yeah, no, she's definitely obese, yeah. Portuguese Daily said five men had to lift her up for partner. Oh, no. PSP police officers have investigated, but they ruled out foul play. Oh, it's foul.

It's obviously a very unusual death, but there was no criminal intent. Well, come on, you can't let her out. She's criminally reckless with how big she is. She can't be stumbling around at night at that size. Gonna be killing guys left and right. It was a stumble by the woman as she got out of bed and tried to move closer to her husband, who was laying on the floor that led to what happened. what was he doing on the floor

he didn't want to sleep with her right why did he lay next to her and I want to know what the conversation was like after she landed on him between that time and then he died like what was going on it was like the Titanic

yeah she's saying goodbye before he sinks off and there's no romance because it's not outside forces it's just her he's sinking into the folds having you feel his last breath

she's like there's nothing I can do There's nothing I would I wish I could You try to sit up a little bit I'm so sorry So sorry I should have gone on a diet I'm so sorry you're about to die Wow that's rough

They have counseling available for this Hi welcome to I'm so fat I killed my husband's Tale is oldest time Anonymous And she's on Tinder already It says Let's see this is sent in by the grave digger

uh he gave me a link the grave digger this guy this mortuary guy he gave me a link where I could buy real teeth from people cool yeah because I have fake teeth for playing Pokemon for like counting health and stuff and he said you can get all those words mean together well you have it's like a game and there's counters like I have one damage and two damage and most people use beads but I have little fake teeth oh yeah and he said I could get real ones at this site that sells like bones and stuff it's like hmm that would really mess with people all right here is uh here's the eat sorority uh you know they do all these dances the sororities this is this is one of them it's hard to yell when the bad rails in your mouth

Bring them out Bring them out In the In Is there really a sorority Sigma Delta Theta Is that Is there really an Eat sorority?

I mean I guess Are we at that bad now? Hath you not seen with vine eyes? Well, this is what I eat as a fatty shit is They've totally reclaimed it Like it's a, it's an empowerment It's gluttony empowered now The TikToks of this is what I eat every day

And they're just in their car Like fucking guzzling chips And at a trough of hot dogs and stuff Now they're in a sorority dancing All right, well Good luck guys Good luck in college This is from Manny Muskitts.

There we go. It says Shaquille O'Neal. It's a big girl. Would be very big for the 90s, but she's kind of a skinny fat now. Well, if you think about it, she's so big. That's an actual size stadium basketball.

Oh, wow. That's big then. The camera's about a mile and a half away. Okay. She's trying to do a slam dunk on a tiny little basketball hoop that's hanging from an apartment door. Any guesses on what happens? Does she run straight through it like the fucking Kool-Aid, man? Do you think it comes off the hinges or she makes a hole, a hole in it?

What do you think? I think grimace runs through. Adam, what do you think on this one? That net doesn't stay on the wall. The hood door? All right, let's see. Oh, oh. Oh, shit.

Oh. Look at the move, the between the legs move that he does here. Whoa. Nice. What kind of door is? Is it a door? A shelf above the door? Just waiting for someone to rotoscope that into the Luke Skywalker blowing up the Death Star scene.

Yeah. This was an Airbnb, surprising. Oh, wow. There's air breakfast and breakfast? Oh, this is from Johnny. All right. Let's see what you sent. You can't call yourself a cycling community without a fat black woman riding with you.

I thought you... This is Cycling Weekly magazine? I thought you made this for me to find in the ether, because I was like, did you fucking write this? How is this? How is this in cycling weekly? This sounds like a direct quote from you being an asshole about cycling and then I see this and I was like

well I gotta send it to you this is like but then I check and it's a real fucking thing This is the verified account Yeah My dad's a cyclist I promise you This is not what he wants to read about Well if either one of us would have said that

You too Then we'd all look like asshole Yeah you can't call yourself A cycling community without a fat black woman riding with you for how long? Like if you said it as a reaction to like reading like, Jesus, you really can't call yourself?

Like, if you said it like that, then you're bad. But having it just as like a, you need to have this. It's like, oh, shit. I'm a new cyclist. I'm also a fat black woman. Again. Who just rode her first century ride. No, no fucking way.

Well, it was the first ride of her. First ride of the century. Yeah, that sentence alone is not one you'll read very often. That's what I'm saying, like, there's no way I wasn't reading this. I was like, I'm having a stroke. There's no way this is like a, like, I check them like, there's no way this is real. There's no.

Because when I look around the cycling world, I rarely see people who look like me. Well, if they've been cycling long enough. And yet I ride. I too am part of the cycling community That's a Peter Griffin line I too am part of the cycling community Well you gotta think of this

Is this a rebrand too for you know Cycling? Well there's a You know a whole something about losing stealing bikes or something like I can't I can't remember what sort of internet thing is referring to

I imagine it's something I too am proud of the cycling community Or am I That's a fucking Peter Griffin line if we're not talking about those on the margins then we're not talking about community those on the margarines community isn't just about who shows up

it's about who feels welcome who's invited and who's made visible it's about who has a voice and who's being centered what the fuck are you you're just coming into this so you're not part of the community you're just coming in to ruin it

or by complaining whenever you're at a table whether it's a meeting an event or a casual group ride, take a moment look around and ask yourself who's missing whose absence goes

there's a giant fat hole whose absence goes unnoticed whose stories aren't being told because if we aren't being intentional about inclusion then we are by default participating in exclusion did this photographer want credit here

Rob Laird? Oh, he also photographed the Sasquatch accounts private, okay Rob Irishada hood therapist Hood Hood therapist? I, Rashida Hood therapist Are you fucking kidding me? There's a hood therapist therapist?

Yeah. I Rishita. Oh. So her name wasn't, it's not I Rishita. It's, her name is I Rishita. Johnny, not I Rishita, like I-Robot. My name's Rishita. Oh, right.

I Rishita. Her name's I-Rashita. Well, no, look at it closer, Dick. If you look where your mouse curses, her name is I-Risha. So she's I-Risha da hood poet. Oh. Wait, what? Yeah.

de hood therapist Oh the hood therapist Yeah With the hood I was remembering Adam Did you see

The thing we found With the The mortuary That turned Dead black people Into angels With AI For their

For their funeral No Okay So they handle the funerals Have you seen the new ones Yeah Okay We need to

Wait a minute Wait a minute Let's find it Okay You gotta see this uh i was surfing you know surfing the web late at night uh maybe after one two thousand many bowls and uh came across this account that this lady who does like obituaries and like celebrations of life kind of things that very um extravagant like first time using photoshop so everything has to be

in it kind of situation yeah and so uh we what was it called oh shit it was something with an S? I mean, if you look in our thing, it'll Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, um... Oh, yeah, you can actually just keep going up. But it's... Dang it.

It's... I know it's fucking... Oh, we go down. Go down? Okay. Okay, you got to see... You got to see this, and then we'll wrap it. You've been here a long time. Thank you. It's...

Oh, wait. Ha, ha, ha, ha. No, not that one. Hold on, let me try and find it. Try and find it. Try and find that shit. Because it's fucking good. So basically what she does is this new service she has is she will take a picture of you and your recently deceased loved one and then have them give you one last hug, turn,

and turn to an angel. Right. None of these people. Well, and there's one where this kid has died in a gymnasium or something. Wait, wait, find it, find it, find it. I just saw it today. damn it it's in our

saved thing okay I don't know how to use Instagram we're getting real close to human

taxidermy well that's kind of what it is yeah uh saved uh

johnny it's uh fuck why can't I think of the name it's like no something with an S

right oh special moments custom printing okay that's what it is Okay, thank God. Sounds, it sounds good, right?

How could you forget a name like that? Wow. Special moments. The product was so good. The name no longer matter. Custom printing. Okay. Be ready.

Get ready for this. Round two of this. Scroll down, yeah. This is a new one, right? That's the newest one, I think. Okay. So this is for the, for respect. Yes, we're being respectful here.

This is what we're watching. Which one? One of them is dead? We'll see. That's the most, that's why it's so exciting. Oh. Because you don't know which one. All right.

Which one do you think it is? Probably him. Him. You think it's him? Yeah. Okay. Oh, a king crown. The wings don't turn.

The wings don't go on us back. They're coming out of his butt. Everybody's put on his earth for a purpose. Wow. Wow, a king crown, man. Man, he really deserved every single step. Why can't he just fly up there? Why does he got to take those steps now?

Well, usually they walk so much faster. This one in truth. Usually they run. Yeah. Because she's getting better at AI, I think. So she knows how to, like, break it up. All right, this one. Oh, she's going to need two sets of wings.

Tinkerbell flying around. Oh, James, it. Stairns and everything. It's a different angle. Isometric angles Unlocked. Fucking fallout one and two. Here we come. God damn, the stairs

just appeared. He's never going to make it. He's going to die again before he makes it up all those steps. Angels huffing and puffing. Where are we explaining this, like where... It's a funeral!

You should have to have a sign letter from the deceased okaying this. Look, this is what, you know how they print out shit at funerals and it's usually like, you know, nice and it just says what's... I don't know, something for people to hold so they don't feel awkward, like not knowing what to do. They're like, oh yeah, here, this guy's a picture, yeah. Oh, we're gonna have hors d'oeuvres here. A playbill of events. Yeah. Well, there's, there's credits for the paw bearers in there.

Like it's... This is their version. This is what they're doing. this shit. It looks like a club flyer. This is what they're handing out for the funerals and then they're playing this angel shit. There's QR codes

on it even. Oh, not a baby. Come on. Javerius. You'll be missed. Do we see Javerius already? We may have. We may have seen Javarius already. But if you scroll down, there's one other good one too. It's a two-for-one.

What? Yeah, double homicide, I imagine. Oh, they're blowing it. I thought it works like a punch card. Like, you keep coming back. Two for one. Like, well, you're going to die eventually, so let's get it now. Tell you what, I'm making one video.

Oh, no. This is the worst thing ever. It's a gift that keeps on giving, man. Oh, why is this guy airbrushed like a Chinese boy? It was that yellow baby you guys got at the clinic. Oh, yeah. Did you go? No, you didn't have to do any birth classes.

We went to this, like, we went to this. It was like a milk class where they're teaching you how to, like, feed your baby and, like, stuff to watch out for. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that they should have put in there. Looking back on it now, I'm like, I think I can teach a better class than that. or maybe they're just giving that away for free and then to sell their consulting services I think but we go in and they have like biracial babies they have like a pile of babies

and there's like one or two black ones so they this black couple comes in and the lady's black and she makes a couple switch with them she's like do you want the she asked the black woman do you want the black baby and the woman has the and I'm like you know I'm like you know

I'm like, oh, oh, shit. And the woman, the black woman getting asked is put in this impossible spot where you're, you obviously don't give a shit, but you can't say that because, but you also can't, you don't want to look crazy. So you have to give just the right amount of dismissive, like, uh, because it's important to them. You're like, uh, I guess, okay, I'll have. So this other, this couple had to switch their black baby with the, with the black woman. the instructor goes, mm-hmm, it's important.

It's important. Why is it important? So then my wife elbows me and goes, what the fuck is this? And I look over it. We have a Chinese baby. We have a Chinese baby,

and there's a Chinese guy and a white woman like directly across from us. We're like, what the fuck? Like, what's important? You see. Yeah. If they had a white baby,

we're like, well, we have more claim to the white baby. I think we have one white between us I guess you have one white woman I don't know then we got stuck in our heads doing the math Was it important to the instructor

Or was important to the other person I don't know The instructor brought it up I think it's important to the instructor I think so too And they're fucking crazy Yeah It has nothing to do with anything

You go to a painting class I'm sure you want this color Why? I'm sure you want the black What the fuck would that have to do with it? Why I can't paint a cabin Okay, let's see here Ooh

Oh Jesus What is this? Oh no Oh no The seagulls Yeah, they're all at the dump You only see seagulls at the fucking dump

Unless there's an ocean None of the Simpsons Still I will get by What do you think? Do you have any funerals that you want to prep for? I feel like I will after having watched that. When my dog died, I took it very rough. And the iPhone loves to be like, I know what you would like.

Oh, yeah. We put together a little montage of your dog doing all these. And it's like, no, I don't. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see it from a computer especially. Yeah. I don't want somebody else generating it. for me and handing it. I just don't want it. So I know it's not for me, but there is someone

that sees that. That's why they have it. That goes, oh, thank God. Thank God. These are those people. I will not understand it. It is one move away from having Harold, like, stuffed in your living room looking at you. Why is my wife messaging me on Instagram right now? Let's see. Oh, my God, woman alert. Welcome to my dating application. Today is my... 23rd Sarah Knapp. Today's my 32nd birthday and my home girl Anna something designed this post as a birthday present for me inspired by Rice and Beans Collective. Welcome to my dating application.

I wish I could say that I'm springing into 32 with as much joy as years before. But this birthday, getting older, has a different flavor because my deepest longing is currently unrealized to be a wife and a mother. Okay. I love my life. I love my community. I love my job I love my dog

I am for all intents and purposes incredibly happy but the past few years the biological impulse to settle down partner up and create life oh my god

all right about me I don't see a weight section well she looks pretty skinny doesn't matter you need a number yeah if you're listing stats then list all the nutrition facts

I love this I I know I while you're single uh here's my dating application wow okay yeah here's my i'm assigned leo my personality every uh playful loving nurturing here's what you need to be that's it this is what you need to bring to me uh start or pack for a dream man provider house rings protector i want wants to be a dog dad to my one year old so what are you what are you exactly what are you bringing here? She brings her love of things.

Yeah. That's her contribution and a dog. Yeah, if you can give me a house, I'm going to love the shit out of that house. If you can buy me a ring, I'll wear it. I'll love it. Sarah's starter pack for a dream man has been to some form of therapy. Knows their shit and knows how to

work with it. But will let me be the judge of that. If there's one thing that everyone I know who's been to therapy shares, it's that it's It worked totally for them and that they're much better than everyone who's not been to therapy.

There's something funny people don't say and that's, I'm very funny and there's something happy people don't say which is I'm incredibly happy. I'm incredibly happy with my life. You can keep me in our kids alive in the wilderness at the collapse of society. Okay, quirk chungis

can hunt and harvest animals. What the fuck? Wants to live in the forest with our children and live a natural lifestyle in the land? Okay, so she's totally nuts. Man, all this coffee shop fucking stomped, clap, hay music really fucking got to these bitches, man.

Yeah, his musical, sings, or plays the guitar. So he's like a wild hunter? It's like either Mumford and his sons or which one? Mumford's sons she's looking for? Has a balanced relationship with substances, but will split a whiskey with me. oh god I fucking hate

somebody taught women that whiskey exists and it totally ruined them and watch the sunset on the porch once in a while after we put the kids to bed honey you have no idea

you have a very incorrect view of what having kids is like Jamie Frazier yeah you just have to be that guy when shit goes sideways we'll rely on clear communication curiosity and coming together

to get through the hard times is a man we're talking about hella goofy you don't know a lot of those hunters that can kill and service and you know cook an animal and live in the forest off nature that are

describe themselves as hella goofy you don't meet a lot of those people and you don't meet a lot of men like that that are looking for women on Instagram where she's searching on fucking Instagram you think you're going to find that guy wow I kill my own food

And I love communicating. Well, I like to take pictures of it and then put it up on the gram, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's hella good, with hashtags. With me doing, you know, funny faces because I'm hella goofy.

Yeah, if you live by herself in the forest, you don't like communicating. You're purposely away from all these motherfuckers. Yeah. Guys in the city communicate. Her need to nag some poor asshole knows no balance. That's what she wants.

She's like, I've done everything but nag some guy into suicide. Has a relationship with his family, our extended family, that will help us raise our children, so I'm already sick of the kids. Knows who the Weston A. Price Foundation is, and can generally appreciate some or most of their philosophies? What is, what is that? Is that a, is that a division of the clan, do you think? That better be a very, very interesting fucking philosophy. Eats meat and believes in raw milk.

Uh, okay. Qualifications. Self-employed for six years as a somatic practitioner. What the hell is that? Smelling? Sleeping practitioner? What's a somatic mean? Isn't that...

It's like the equivalent to like underwater basket weaving, right? Just like, yeah, this is like a title. Professional friend. A hooker? Maternal as fuck. Uh, I think. Think of your maternal as fuck you'd have kids by now Because all this other shit wouldn't matter

West Sunday Price was a dentist Who opened up a foundation For healthy eating Raw foods, that kind of thing Oh okay Community singing Singing around the fire and good company Showing up for friends

Kiss those goodbye when you have kids This is someone who will immediately pull out cards Against Humanity Any fucking get together I guarantee that shit If there's a second of silence around the campfire Hey let's play cards against humanity God.

Being wild and free on the land. Camping. So she likes to shit outside, too. Wild and free outside. She stinks. That's what it means. If chicken soup for the soul was a person, that's a great reference for men.

The first one is for men. 11 out of 10? 11 out of 10. That's for us. Devoted, loyal, and ready. Communicative, on time, and emotionally responsible. I feel like that's kind of nagging me already. Like, this is the kind of thing women say,

about themselves, that's really about you. What's your greatest strength? I communicate responsibly. Like, okay, that's a nag. I hear what you're saying. Overwhelmingly lovable and should be on SNL or Broadway. Fucking quirk chungis, bro. Fucking quirk chungis maxing.

Quirk chungus. Quirk fucking chungus. If this is you, my DMs are open. If the dog is me? Jesus. or if you're this woman why would you use that why would you do any of this first off

that dog is like fuck don't use don't use me for this shit don't put my name yeah do you want to come over and listen to old country and grill a steak sorry wrong person wait let's talk oh more fucking quirk chungusing

all right everybody wait I think I sent you one more thing too okay what is it it was kind of a well it's more of a Is it Fat Watch? Yeah. I think I have it. Might be the second link.

Okay. I want to get into that black bicycle rider, too. Oh, this is it. Okay. Okay. Oh, man. It's pretty self-explanatory, but goddamn. The Sensei?

Running right straight through me. Okay. So our Airbnb, all our shit is stolen. These motherfuckers, we come in this motherfucker. We got, let me get some bureaus. Let me get some rules Some what Brue?

I just cannot believe this We just came back to our Airbnb, all our shit is stolen Brees motherfuckers That's squad We got Let me get some rules Because I was watching this

The first time like okay documenting a robbery And then All right, let's see here Like I just cannot believe So one camera pan Have either you

shit so hard before that you had to tear the top part of your shirt off like Jesus Christ yeah usually hang it up or fold it up how what is what is her panties made out of they're stretched like a bungee cord well someone in the comment said uh that toilet's gonna need a cigarette after and another person said mark henry hiding in y'all bathroom and then fucking got me too I was thinking John Henry but Look at that erotic glass block

That's what I was thinking when you design that This is not what you have in mind The tiptoes is killing me These hundred fucking tiptoes Shitting Fucking absolutely The forward lean right But so look

She's shitting in heels Right Well so this is the first camera pan Right now watch this She tries to look away And then goes back It's like Just spin all the way

The fuck around Why did you do it? She might have stolen all the stuff Well yeah She's the one hiding it all Like holy fuck If she's in the bathroom She heard the whole thing

Right He said Well that's the craziest part Is you know You just get home After a day doing whatever You come back Your shit's all gone

And you're like Okay before I can even think Let me She's got to take a shit Right in the middle Of sweating it out If you If someone

walked in on you in the bathroom wouldn't you move she doesn't move at all to cover staring to hide from the predator or something just fucking like that woman was loud she knew

they were coming you could hear it you could hear it down the block but the double camera pan everything about this was pure art not a single in here yeah

we got came back to hide whoa get out of here oh what the oh whoa my drawings we got

Let me get some viewers. Yeah, I don't know what she's saying. Is it viewers? I just cannot believe it. Oh. Just to lock the door. Well, I think that was the lady who took my ID at Boston. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Okay, everybody. That's the show. Thank you for coming in. That's so much fun. We got to go through, next time we got to go through some of your favorite Carl stuff. Yes. I'm kind of, you know, behind on everything in my life right now, or I would have done that.

You have a good excuse. Thank you. It's great talking to you. You're a really wonderful part of Carl's show. Thank you very much. I left your analysis of these insane people. Because they really are great. They are.

They're endlessly entertaining. I can't get enough of them. I don't want to interact with them. No. Chad Zumach? No. Because I feel like too many people start trying to gang bang them and it messes it all up. then it scares them off.

What's interesting is I've done these little interviews with a lot of them because I like to form my own opinion and the one thing that every single one of them agreed is as soon as the interview was done, they were positive that this went really well and that all the others they've seen me do. They're like, that person looked like a fool but this one went great.

I was thinking that because Carl played your, who you played, Chad Zumach? You played at Hackamania? Yeah. Did he play any of your interviews at? Yeah, that was the Chad one. That's what we did. The Chad one? and he was again

like he had no idea how he came off and I don't have to be mean or rude I can just let them reveal themselves you're really not yeah they do it for you all you have to do is sit back do you know what I mean yeah and you asked the

you got Chad on the funniest question it was I mean god him you're like well because he's asking why you're doing these other losers show yeah and you said well why am I doing this show and he just his brain like just froze he's like yeah that's they love they think they're getting me

They've planned this moment and it's going to go like this and I'm going to be all hurt and got and that was his moment and they all don't see it. They're like, they have the same line they're like, aren't you too big to be doing stuff like this? Yeah. Well, I'm on your show. Yeah. So what are you saying?

Yeah. It's all the same thing. No, it's the best. I live for this stuff. They reveal in so many ways and we meet people like this, but it's the desire to put a camera on you. Yeah. And I film it every day, but be unable to receive criticism

of any kind is just remarkable. Well, we, I mean, I imagine you might start looking at the Vito stuff just based on Super Killer coming out. We spent years making fun of Eric July's comics

and teasing him, including a couple of fans, Riley and this other guy would like go to Eric's warehouse and mess with him and fuck with him at like Comic-Cons and stuff. It's hilarious. We'd sit, play it, watch it,

and we would go through every way of what not to do to get teased like this don't take it too seriously you know don't blow it out don't pretend like what they're saying is literal

when we all know that you don't we all know that you know they're goofing around online and then he came through Vito came through and he did every single one of the things in order and nothing

ever since that started happening at first I was like bro you're like you're just you're just doing everything that we've been saying like you're you're causing tremendous like it's impossible to make fun of people now because you have done all these things so now on a show that's based on like calling out these people and making fun of them we can no longer do that like it's not the same anymore now that you've done it but you're still he's still arguing with people about his fucking comic at like midnight at midnight last night

I'm wearing headphones feeding the baby, and he's arguing with people about the dumbest, most minutious shit on his fucking comic that took three years to make. Like, he's taking, they take the world and they make it so small around them that you have no choice but to stand back. Like, I can't fit in here. This is too small. This is just you. Your world is you in these arguments now. And they all do it. All these guys, it's like, I can't, I can't do anything about Steel Toe's world is,

Him and his goal, and him and that weirdo Johnny Crippleboot. What's his name? Yeah, Johnny Crutches. Johnny Crutches. Fuck, we should start talking about this right away. I'm so out of it. But there's one thing that all these people have in common, and I'm sure Eric July has it, but I haven't seen it, which is, you have given him all the tools he needs for success. And at some point, while he's flailing and failing, he's going to say out loud, nobody told me anything.

Nobody shows me. They all do that. Yeah, and then they start lashing out of the people who are saying like, no, you got you gotta stop doing this. Like, oh, I can't. No, you're a mad guy. We're making fun of them, but Carl is also saying

like, you can't block people. No matter what they say, if you want to be successful, you can't block people. Yeah, not on mass. They don't hear it like they're doing. They don't hear it. It's crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, Eric July, I wrote the most milk toast, like, entry-level beginner script writing. notes for his comic like stuff like um say have your characters say their motivation like make it clear make the motivation clear um god it's been so long i forget what it was uh it was like really basic like save the cat shit save the cat moment um make us root for the character like don't they could be an asshole but give us something to want identify with them a little bit like i don't

want to be here is not a character that people can identify with, you know, at every single point in the story. Who are some of the other criticisms for, it's just a weird, he's, he's, the character, the character that he's black, the character is black, and the whole book is just centered around disrespect. He goes and gets in arguments, he feels disrespected, and then starts fistfights with people so it's not it's not like a thing you'd ever read or hear about in any in in medium in comic like in media because no one would let that through be like that's the villain yeah that's

the villain that's that was my point in the no it's like this is a this is a bad guy like you've made a detective story you i don't think you know that but this is a detective story and detective stories have rules everything that's introduced has a point in the plot and they're like they have to they have to keep track of these things but you have to introduce everyone you introduce has to have an effect on the overall story and you cannot go around threatening women

you can't walk into a club and threaten women and then grab them like from behind you can't you can't do that that's not the things that a hero does so he had this big stream he's used to just making fun of people he was a big stream calling me the N-word and saying that all the all these notes are like clown shit

so then it was on I'm like I love yeah I that was me being normal. I love this kind of fighting. Absolutely. And, you can't call me that. That word's kept my people down

for 60 years. You know, yeah, that's our word. So from there it went into pissing on his grave, his grave of his ancestor, and that's sort of the getting him sued by a Christian ministry.

I forget I started talking about this. I feel like everywhere in life. But it started helpful. It started helpful. That was my point. It always does. It always does.

And they can't hear it. And everyone in life has those moments where like, if only someone had told me, I wish someone would have and they do people do we just don't hear it

we don't want to there's something that's more important than doing a good show and that's for him is being this conservative black Jesus loving character that's persecuted

he wants that more than to make a good comic I thought cycling weekly was supposed to be about the cycling turns out it's about the makeup of the cycler which as a true cyclist is offensive to me

the need to be persecuted has become like has become so important to conservative it's um yeah it's kind of ruin them for anything else it's like they just invent they invent these like i've been actually debanked uh on the match list i'm i wasn't even that conservative when it happened it's just like i like comedy i mean i like i like racist comedy i don't know what to um but they've all anytime anything happens it's i'm being shadow banned uh my account was uh

blacklisted from paypal it's like yeah but you're you're doing a bunch of illegal shit you can't you can't do what you're doing. It's not because of your political views. It's because you're like taking pre-orders. Like they don't allow that because it can easily become fraud. Somehow change became a sign of weakness, and I think it's a sign of strength. Yeah, that's part of it too.

I think they've always had that. They'll brag about never changing their minds. No matter what. Before the internet, after the internet, same shit. Well, there should be an adjustment made in their business of something. I came out of the womb like this because of my genetics. All right. How did the hat fit?

All right. Anyway, I hope you come back and we can talk again. It's a blast. Yeah, thanks a lot. Where should people go to find you? Carl's show. Yeah, WATP. Every Wednesday at 2.30 Eastern time, I believe.

2.30? Okay, go check. It's 5.30. Check out of them out there. We've got Chrissy Mayer and the content hotel thing happening. And you're doing that. I'm going to that. for some reason

I'm happy to do WATP anywhere happy to do it in front of a live audience we'll find out what happens I don't know a lot of these people but I'm looking forward to getting to know them I have a feeling they're gonna love me the fans of these shows are a lot of fun they're not like Buffy fans

they're much better oh they are well this stuff yeah this stuff's much better I'm curious about the people actually doing those shows I don't know any of them I know Kumiya I know Carl and Krista do you have you met Chrissy no I don't really know them

she's cool her and Vito they have she was another one I interviewed and she thought it went great and it took two seconds and she was talking about like yeah we have this baby now

but it's still in the crib like a year after it's supposed to be in the bed and we really got to get on that and well she got hand and foot disease today and I spent the night just sitting in the corner

crying looking at my baby anyway what are you up to Adam and I'm going to clip this and bring it to Carl and I'm going to be called an asshole. Yeah. She seems she's fun about it. I mean, I haven't never seen her take anything seriously.

Oh no, she rolled with it. But when people reveal themselves like that, I'm fascinated. Yeah. She, her and, I don't know why. Her and Vito had a big fight online, but then she came in here and invited us to her comedy show and he didn't go because he was embarrassed, I think. I like when you fight with Vito. I like when Vito

says, I don't know what you're talking about. What are you even saying? I don't. know what you're talking about. Isn't it great? Yeah, he knows what you're talking about. I don't even understand. Like, I know that you understand. Slow it down. Break it down. Holy shit. You know, we understand talking calmly as a strength, but it also works

against you sometimes. It makes you sound a little dim. Yeah, uh, it's fun. We'll probably be fighting a lot more. I hope. I got to review Super Killer with EBS. We'll do a bonus episode maybe. Okay, everybody. Uh, thanks again, Adam. We'll see you. We'll see you next time. Uh, there you go. Goodbye.

Thanks, man. we should do a thing with your like you should put a jingle on it and then the clipper can turn it's great i'm all about that oh that's okay no man i'm like you know i'm like you know i really am doing everything at the last minute it's like oh my god oh you're already off stream home uh No, it's still gone. Okay, cool. I'll cut it off on the song's over. Songs over, yeah.

Okay. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Cool.