The Dick Show - Episode 476 - Dick on AI Jesus

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

White people are doing AI funerals too now, Johnny's Brain Rot Corner produces some gems, Charlie Kirk is killed so a man can be straight, I almost break my wife's foot, my son gains too much weight, what young people want, EBT scams, signs in my neighborhood, snapping my neck, and the Hydroflask crew that stole Johnny's car; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Good, okay, okay, okay. That's pretty good, man. I think that's about... I think that's a... I think that's a chunky. Can you hear that? I can hear it. You can hear that?

Ooh, yeah, I can hear it. Oh, wait, not that, yeah. No. I can't... I think I've got that fucked up somewhere. There we go. Cool. Everything gets in...

when I have to do it by myself. It's the digital equivalent of taking everything out of the sock drawer, man. Oh, man, I had a throwing everything around the room episode last night. I had one of those reasons. Let me tell you what. I had a throwing everything around the room episode last night. What went missing? Well, you know, my wife...

What went missing? My wife has this system. A system I know it's an important That's That's man's true curse It's just We have these women around

To build systems So we can constantly beat and defy them Which it's a system testing You know We make it more robust in this way Yeah My wife has this system For the baby clothes

But somehow the system Doesn't account for The baby throwing up All over itself It's 345 in the morning and then me kicking over a giant-sized tumbler of water that I don't know why I did this. She asked for a glass of water earlier in the day

and I decided that the nice thing to do even though it's stupid. You know how much water women need when they say I'm really thirsty? I need about a pipette, a micro-pipet. I'm going to sell a Dick Masterson science lab to feed your woman. And it's going to have a micro-pipet

It's going to be thirsty, really thirsty, dying of thirst. And it's going to be 100 milliliters, 200 milliliters. So I go and I fill up what is basically like a novelty size. I find a World's Fair, L.A. County Fair, novelty souvenir cup from 1986. That's all brittle. It's about, it's about yay. It's a McDonald's Halloween novelty bucket. It's a mini dunking booth, yeah.

It's a dunking booth that I fill up with water for her because I'm trying to be good. and helpful because I'm so worthless in every other way with the baby. This fucking baby, man! I'm screaming for once! So, let me write down where I'm threading this story at. It was mess, then it was water. Okay.

Then it was woman water. Okay. Two messes. The baby came out early, was taken out early. Is this working? Yeah, everything. Is this working? Is this working? Good. Great. Fine. Guys, welcome to church. I see everyone's going to church today. I see. Oh, the quarterings. I see all the influencers are in church taking selfies of church. Hey, look, everybody. I'm in church. You know, uh, you know what? Two places don't need selfies. Uh, the gyms and church. Put your fucking phone away and worship God.

find something in you that's good and try to foster. If you're going to go the whole good route, at least sit there in your crapulence and your sin and think about that shit. Don't the quartering. Don't have arguments with people online and post

pictures of the fucking cross from the church you're in to win online arguments, you heretical fuck. Do you understand what the point to go into church is? It's not to argue with people online that you're in church. You fucking heathen, you filthy

fucking heathen, you fucking blasphemous degenerate, you shouldn't be sitting in church, having online arguments with pedophiles online, you fucking weirdo! God damn it, am I the only one that understands what God really is? Well, people forget

too that that's also a form of taking the Lord's name in vain. Using God's name to win internet arguments is not what he Big capital H wants you to be doing! Jesus Christ, fucking quartering. What's his name?

The quartering. You fucking heretic! Let me find this shit. Let me find this shit. Let me find this shit. Ahoi! Ahoi, Captain Gaybeard. Not going to church?

Oops, already there. Bro, put your black sass away for one hour. and listen, try to commune with God. You're not going to be able to find him the first time because you're a hate merchant. But for fuck's sake, put your phone down for 45 minutes and try! Me?

I know exactly where God is. I talk to him every day. I don't need to go to some gay-ass building and take selfies of it. I know where God is. He's in the heart of Nick Flentes, where he's been for 25 years. If I ever need to experience the divine light of a true believer, I turn on a Nick Fuentes clip, and there I have it.

Nah, nah, look at me, I am in church. Is that, are you? Are you, though, bro? Are you? Are you? Are you in church? Are you? Are you? Is this in church?

Is this called being a church? Not going to church? I'll show you, here's a fucking selfie of me taking a picture of the cross Jesus was crucified in, because Jesus didn't argue online enough. That's why he was killed. You know, if Jesus would have opted out of one argument, he would still be alive today. He did one argument too many with those goddamn Pharisees or whatever we, oh, those guys, whatever we. If Jesus would have just not had one, one less Reddit argument, Jesus would

still be alive. What's hilarious is like, yeah, they hated him because he spoke the truth. You don't always have to speak the truth. Sometimes you could just let it slide. They just hated him. What? It was one too many. Hey Jesus, I'm not going to give away all my stuff though. Jesus because they're like, you know, do whatever you want. Yay, but you know, you should be on to thee and hold give up your stuff. All right, fuck this guy. I'm going to kill this guy. Um, it's about this mess. We hit the What's I talking about? This catastrophic A recent emptying

Of a dresser or something It's fucking baby shit It's fucking baby shit He came out early And they said He's not He doesn't weigh enough You gotta

He does he's losing weight Because they come out And then they start losing weight They begin in a deficit And they're already like Just like a Ethiopian baby you know babies all come out looking like that

hemorrhoid in South Park you know and Kyle's hemorrhoid and he's like ah like Trump doing that retarded guy ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha um like he doesn't weigh enough it's a big issue

you guys got to ramp up the feeding and the milk that comes out of the boobs when they're just born it's like fucking it's like that's not I don't know colostrum I don't know what it is it ain't milk it looks like like toe jam or some shit. It's not fucking milk. Now it's milk. But it doesn't start out that way, especially when they come out early. So we're like, oh God, okay, we got to really

hammer this fucking dude. We got to wake his ass up and the baby doesn't know how to eat either. He's like, uh, he's like retarded. Ah, oh, uh, you know? You're like, put your fucking mouth out. Uh, uh, uh. What is your first time on earth? Yeah, come on, you little asshole. Eat that shit. I don't eat that. I want fucking milk. Like, ah, looks kind of like You gotta gain weight Or the lady's gonna yell at us Waking his ass up every two hours Eat this shit

Eat this fucking shit And then they come out of it Right Then they start gaining weight back And it's like whew Crisis averted Crisis averted Right

Crisis averted But they don't tell you to stop feeding him Really So now we go back this week And she's like Your baby's fatter than fuck I'm like what? Oh

Our baby's fatter than fuck No, she was how often you feed you every two hours when he's hungry. She's like, no, no, no, that's too. You fucking told us that! What the fuck is that? There's a lot happening. It's easy to fuck this stuff up. So now we're like saying, all right, you can only eat every three hours.

But he wakes up every two hours and he was like, where's the fucking food? Let's go! This fucker wakes, it goes like, you think like, when I wake up, there's at least a couple seconds where I'm just not pissed off. I'm like, ah, some sort of euphoria. where I don't know where I am. I don't know who I am. I can't hear the ringing in my ears for at least 10 seconds.

I'm like, ah, this, this, where am I? This is nice. Oh, I remember where I am? Where's the internet? Where's the quartering? Taking pictures in church. Someone kicked this guy's...

Um... But he wakes up. Ah! I don't know if he's thinking faster. Ah! Eyes open. Ah! Like fucking home alone or something.

Yeah. Open. The sound is the sound, the clap is him opening his eyes, and then I'll scream when the scream starts. Right? Ah! Oh my God! So, that's what's happening at night when he's soaked in milk. And again, like I said, I brought my wife the novelty size, six gallon, ten gallon souvenir

Cup that he starts screaming. I'm trying to find, I'm trying to go through her doy decimal system. Her fucking what's a funny version of that for women? Their doy decimal system of organization, you know? The reason the office depot exists.

It's not for office supplies, it's for women organizing shit at home. Yes. And it's all written in that girl writing that my brain turns into like, goobah. I'm like, what the fuck does that? Why is it so small? Why is it written so small? I can't find a fucking

outfit that fits because he's too fucking fat and then I turn around and kick over a rain barrel of water that I gave her six hours ago and then she comes and she's like okay why don't you go to bed I'll take over all right

damn you booby trapped yourself again because remember when you left the weight upstairs oh don't remind me dude I almost broke oh my god this was a i found christ i also found christ oh christ is in the back of my fridge oh my wife opens the fridge and i knew this was going to be a fuck up dude i had one of those i stupidly tried to clean up the counter and put a 12 pack of diet soda in the top with one of those fridge boxes you know, and I ripped open the top of the fridge box thing where they dispense and the thing,

the other part ripped off, because it's from the Mexican store and every piece of cardboard in the Mexican store has a structural weakness to it. It's all goo. So every, every box of beer at the Mexican store, you carry it out and your hand sinks in it like fucking slime. And you're like, ooh, like, okay, first of all, how long has this been sitting here? How come I go into the white people store and it feels like crisp cardboard. I could swing this around like a fucking pinwheel. But I go to the Mexican store and I'm like

I try to pick up a box of IPA because they're not drinking IPA. They're drinking Medellos. That's it. And that IPA has been sitting there for three years. Welcome back. So good to be back. I swore that you were just too hung over to call in. Or to come in.

I wish. If I was too hung over I would have Ubered up. I wouldn't even cared. And I thought that I'm like, no way. He would be here no matter what. And then you sent me the picture of your car after it was recovered. And I was like, oh, how can I think such a thing, even half think? Well, that's

the thing is, if there's one obligation I have in this world, is like, all I care about is showing up here Sundays, like everything else, variable. This is like the one thing that anchors my weed, right? Me too. Right? And so it's like, cool. I just need this little reset, get the

whole week out, you know, be great. But your car was stolen. It was fucking stolen. So what happened was my tire blue On the freeway Get it off the freeway Get it to the side, whatever Oh, you're tired

Your tire blue? Yeah, it's just It's shredded. Okay So then I get it off to the side of the road Get it in the residential area It's like three in the morning at this point Walking around

Trying to get a charger and stuff Yeah I'm like okay cool I'll be back in a couple hours So the way I had it was And if that car was there Everything would have been perfect Because all I had to do

I got it right down the lock from a tire store. Yeah. Right? Okay. Yeah. I'll come back in. They open at nine.

I'll come down here at nine. Even if it takes an hour, I can just hit the five and come up. Yeah. I'll be there right on time. Yeah. Perfect. Go down there. Five hours of driving around.

No car. No car. So I had to, you know, went through that whole process of getting stolen and everything and then... So you knew right away it got stolen? Was there like glass everywhere? Did you leave the keys in it or something? No. That's, dude, I think

I think someone saw it was like Oh, it's a broken down car We can just limp it across the border And chop, chop it out. That's kind of what I think And there was a lot of shops in the area too So I'm like, I wonder if someone just like gaffed it So I'm walking around with the fucking

The beeper and everything. Oh yeah. Really? I've done this before. I'm no stranger to like Having to recover things. So I was like, okay, cool. Like I could play this game.

Five hours later, nothing. So then a couple days later of, like, I'm already on the Japanese auction sites. Like, okay, I could get the same car or like a similar car. Yeah. Like $2.5 grand, you know, pay the shipping. But then after seeing that shit in Long Beach, I was like, well, I'm not shipping a fucking car from Japan. Yeah, no way. You'll never get here.

It'll be lined up forever. Well, that, and it's going to be, it's going to get tipped over and into the fucking water. So I was like, nah, not doing that. And then I'm looking for a similar car, like same make, model year, and everything. they're 12 grand now I'm like what the fuck I paid six for it Dude getting your getting a perfectly working old car

Oh yeah Stolen or wrecked I fucked up I ruined my dad's truck in the way to bring man He talks about every time he sees me He's like well so when are you going to replace that? Dude yeah it's like a I said today I haven't driven my truck in two

months and he goes maybe you park it in my house And let me drive it around since you broke my last It's irreplaceable It is Working old car is totally irreplaceable. It's great, too, man. The thing, you know, designed by like the sports division. What kind of cars is it?

What kind of car is it? Wait, what? A Mazda Speed 3. Oh, it was a Mazda Speed 3. Yeah. Killer, love that car. Fast and shit. You know, it's slow as fuck, but you can just leave your foot in the gas and corner everywhere.

So then I get a call a couple days later from San Diego PD that they're like, hey, we recovered your vehicle. And I was like, no. Lobowski call them. Yeah. And the whole time, I didn't have the wherewithal because I was in like full on, like, nothing matters anymore I just have these tasks to get done

until I get all of this stuff done then I can freak out about it later I'm like what the fuck was like so I was thinking like that's why you don't fuck strangers in the ass Larry because I was like absolutely going through the whole model I'm like oh if I fucking see this guy I'm gonna

anyway so I get it back and the wheel's all fucked up you send me that picture the wheel the whole tire was gone oh those cock suckers man it all the way off the rim was bent and shredded. Like you just ruined I could have fixed that, you know?

It's not like you stole a good car and messed it up for part. It's like okay, you're just a criminal. Right. You stole a sort of broken car and just ruined it. Right, and here's what's fucked. For everyone. I had a flannel, this nice beach towel, I had

this nice LG monitor in there. Yeah. I had all this stuff. I had the Goigamel toy in my glove box and I forgot. Oh, not Goigamel. He got stolen? Get this. I get there fucking cars has more shit in it

there is hydroflasks there's trash there's fast food wrappers hydroflasks yeah and I'm like like a yacht party did they steal your car? A bunch of fat white lady stole my car I guess

do you have the hydroflasks can we dust it for prints I thought about it also and DNA evidence the deputy already came down and did all that it was crazy I had no I was like wow San Diego They got them working in shifts

yeah So then I popped the hood Fucking battery was yanked out so hard It tore the bracket off I mean come on man Just take it apart We'll take the fucking monitor Like what the fuck

Like you could have sold that for like half the car's worth So You had to fuck up the battery Give me a break See these are lame crimes This is instant death penalty I absolutely agree I stole a battery

Did you unscrew it first No, death penalty Yeah, if I could have just walked down to like Craig it Well, what would have been a crag in back in the day But you know Pick up a battery and plug it back in go Cool But so then they fucking

Took a screwdriver to my ignition So Yeah And I'm like really You guys tried to steal it Realize you couldn't get very far I don't have a spare for a way They hired a car with no wheel

Yeah Well drove And with hydroflasks Yeah and they well they drove What did the hydroflask smell like Is it smell like grape Drizzyink or Sizrip, whatever it is. It smelled like a pumpkin spice latte.

Oh, you got to, bro, you need the Weight Watchers. I do. If you can find them. I think it may have been a... Weight Watchers bonus episode on patreon.com slash the dick show right now. A heft induced theft, you know? A heft-induced theft. Or a heft-related theft.

Because they, all their cars have broken wheels, so they didn't notice anything weird. Exactly. Because they're all fat women. Exactly. Screeching, that's just a normal part of the car. But then... So I'm like, okay, so I hoof it down to discount tire. I get one new rim that doesn't match any of my others.

Because I was like, I thought it would be funny. I'm like, I just want to make sure everything works before I can invest in the rest of them. Got a new battery, got new wires, did all that. And then I had to take my whole ignition apart. And I'm taking that in tomorrow. You did all this? I did. Whoa.

Oh, yeah, I'm fairly handy. Fairly handy. Better at audio stuff or worse, depending on who you ask. But, you know, so anyway Your audio is great on Weight Watchers Thank you. This time. You know, I'm trying

But your audio is good. Camera sucks. It's okay. We're figuring it out. Got a new computer coming even. Dude, things are... Like I said. Things are coming up, Johnny.

You found Christ? I had found Christ. Well, because, you know, when you're at your lowest one... I found Christ. He's right here in my heart. That's what they teach you. He's right here. In my heart.

Not in yours. in my heart, yeah. He's in my heart. He's knocking you. Oh, he's in. He's knocking to get out. Let me out of this place. He's in the phantom zone in my heart. But man, I felt so bad because all I wanted to do was like, come up,

have a good show. I got plenty of stupid clips and shit for us today. I know. You were sending me clips all week. I was like, oh, this poor Johnny. You were sending me such good Johnny brain rot stuff. And I will say, too, some of the fans are caught in my algorithm too, because I got some that I'm like,

oh, just you wait. I'm already bringing this in. Man, I'm in the algorithm of you're a shitty parent now. It's like every single thing is, here's why your baby's not hitting milestones. I'm like, Milesons, I don't give the fuck about milestones, man. Oh, dude, after today, I'll reel you back to the shore. Don't worry.

Well, because it's listening all that. It probably hears the wha! And it's like, oh yeah, let's hit this motherfucker with some bad parenting. Well, again, you, man. Click on a few of these links. You're going to be right back into the D-Gen zone. So anyway, sorry. I missed out last week. Again, if...

You know what? I wish I was intoxicated. Like, I wish it was something like funny. Uh-huh. Like, oh, you know, I'm throwing up acid or I can't do all this other shit. But... I don't know. Not the worst thing that happened this week.

You know, other than that, how was the... Here, how was the play? Johnny, I never... I never thought I would see this. I never thought I would see this from white people. You can't be saying that anymore because I've been... I went from... of Mr. Nothing Ever Happens to, wow.

Wow, a lot happened this week. Mr. Nothing Ever Happens is like, uh, Mr. Nothing Ever Happens just got shot in the neck and died on television. I could not believe. You know what? This all ends with me finally understanding

what Sean meant when he said, I got to get away from this. Because people are melting down over Charlie Kirk getting assassinated. White people are melting down in abject and existentialism and dread

and just frothing, seething, frothing at the mouth celebration, bloodthirsty celebrations and I'm sitting here going I mean, this is what you guys are like I'm like yeah, this is what you guys have been the whole time, like do you not see? This is what you guys have been the whole time. No, it's sick.

Everything about all of this has been so sick and like you said too, I was like I got a death threat from a guy I got a death from a guy because I was making fun of the way Charlie Kirk's widow was like doing this weird funeral slash PR thing. And only me and Jesse Lee Peterson had a problem with it, which means we're 100% right. If I was just wrong, I would say, okay, maybe this is another cuties thing. But when I go online and see Jesse Lee Peterson has the exact same problem that I go, you guys need to find Jesus because he's in me and J.L.P.'s hearts. I mean, I totally get it because, again, it's like the whole, I don't know, you just see, you see one thing happen and everyone is like, it's like, well, I was almost on the plane at 9-11 too.

I was almost at Charlie Kirk's rally. Did you know that? So I almost was too, except I stole my car. Here's what I couldn't believe. This is what I could not. I never thought I would see this happening because we, you brought in the black people funeral wings. There is something about this chair where you can predict things. the future.

The few months out, yeah. And then Charlie Kirk was slain. And it was, it's like, it gives, it gave me a very, uh, profound, uh, palpable sense of, of dread and sickness. Like, oh, man. I knew. Oh, man. That guy was, that was a really just nice guy.

And I've been, I've been attacked by, it's the trans. Activists and I'm kind of I'm gonna say this like once even though I'm sick of saying like not all not all not all But the trans activists are the most violent insane the trans because they're the same people that attacked me in Netflix That guy and I got news for you guys Killing Charlie Kirk doesn't mean you're straight That's what I I don't I think that was the goal here maybe if I kill that guy. I'm not gay anymore Right banging my trans

roommate, but it actually makes you even more gay. The guy that threw me into concrete at Netflix. I remember that. He's like the muscle dummy closeted homosexual

brute squad. And then as soon as he did that, he gave an interview with a trans activist who was on the scene with a bunch of the trans activist people. And you could tell

that he was feeling like afraid and regret. Like he knew in his brain he did something wrong and the trans activist was like gassing him up right and saying like oh yeah that was great that was great here's a change of clothes here's a change of like a demon whispering to them uh it's a very is a very dangerous it's a very dangerous group and they're the same people that are same thing happened here young little weirdo uh goes online gets recruited into these

uh discords of of sickos and degenerates and then gets pushed maybe it's and i don't even know Looking at him, the whole thing, I couldn't even tell you if it was really political or I think the not gay thing is probably the most accurate or even just like he's just an autistic weirdo that wanted to do something no one else could. You know, like, yeah, I'm gonna show you.

I'll kill that guy. Like, that's the only thing we can do anymore is just enact, like these tremendous, these plans of incredible violence. You can't build anything anymore. You can't compete with getting stabbed in the neck on the subway. Like, there's just no, there's no vertical, uh, um, uh, um, um,

anything to accomplish for some people. So like, I'll just go, I'll just see how, how much harm I can cause in one action. Like, that's a, it's like a challenge, right? Uh, I forget what I started to talk. This is, and as I said, it was like, oh, gut punch. Like, oh, God, I don't know why this is bad. I hate that I'm feeling something for somebody I don't know, but. if Nick Fuentes got killed I would say yeah I mean yeah

obviously somebody's gonna kill if I got killed yeah obviously somebody's gonna kill that guy but that guy you killed that guy oh man and then I see this sometimes I fall to my knees and pay Kirk getting resurrected by Jesus Christ, the Halloween store Jesus Christ with the White Jesus, Charlie Kirk is like 6'4, so this Jesus is about 6'7, looking like Hunterhurst Helmsley.

I'm trying to make, it's so sad what happened to him, but, you know, this is, that doesn't mean this isn't retarded. It was retarded when the black people did it. It's definitely retarded when white people are doing it. Well, it's just, again, it's so thoroughly, it's such disrespectful. And I thank the Gravedigger for bringing this up But it's very disrespectful necromancy in a way Digital necromancy

Somebody messaged me is like You know I could help out like making an LLM If Charlie Kirk do you think his widows would like I'm like what are you talking about? Get the Get the hell out of here You can't shortcut death motherfucker You gotta just sit in it

You can't DIY your way out of death Yeah Get rid of fucking LLMs Get rid of fucking Roblox Get rid of Discord Get rid of all this get rid of all the illegal people bring back jobs and send these

motherfuckers into the fucking fields all day swinging hammers and shit instead of doing just being permanently online come on, come on take away their coats there's Charlie Kirk and there's some angels I dude I saw that blood shooting out of his neck

like a fire hydrant I said that's AI there's no way that was yeah I mean dead instantly you know it's not often i'll like say something sweet but like life is precious man and fucking whichever way you slice it's sad you know there's um there's been two people on my street

who have these um crummy uh anti-trump yard signs oh yeah like the normal anti-trump ones weren't extreme enough like the slow the simmering in this house we believe in like science and black lives matters and stuff like that and fuck that woman who got stabbed

and the next she probably deserved it like that's they've been they've been evolving and they made their own they print it out their own bro this is I mean this is insane behavior for this is a street where it's a million dollar houses right

yeah this is a boomer with something wrong with them that they need to to hand craft their own sign using like a cue cut at home like they printed it out on their fucking dot matrix

printer and then cut out JD Vance and Trump and they made a little sign and said these fascists are coming to take away your rights and they've had it they upgraded their signs to get more and more psychotic over the last four years always anti-Trump stuff

started out pro Biden ended on these fascists are coming to take away. I see it every day because I walk the dog and now I walk the baby fucking mental illness man and after Charlie Kirk was killed the sign was taken down because I think that these these white boomers and white liberals are finally seeing that all this like hatred they're putting out there is at them like they see this kid 31 year old kid who just like he likes God and talking I mean I

all the stuff that he's saying is like normal normal shit there's much bigger people saying much worse shit yeah me like what the fuck you're like here we are man I think they finally see and it definitely wasn't stolen

oh yeah because you know they would have this is hyper nowhere is more liberal than where I live it was taken down they took it down I think they're finally seeing that all this hatred they've been stoking and throwing gasoline on is directed at them Like they see this young kid who's like oh wait

That's just like a white guy that wants to like sit down and talk things out And he's getting murdered and and baristas and like weirdos online are just seething with hatred about it I think I've made a huge mistake like I've never Never seen it there there are like they're like ducacus bumper stickers and lesbians against Bush bumper stickers on their street I've never seen it go the other way this is the first time

I've seen what evidence of someone going of someone going oh never mind actually they're not they're not fascists they're just like uh never mind just yeah don't forget I said anything about that it's real crazy

it's crazy fucking crazy man It's too late though I'm sorry, but it's too late You're still gonna You're still gonna have to report to the camps Just as soon as we can figure out Who's in charge of them You must be full

Camps No, the water I'm never filling up a woman's water again I'm gonna fill it up with like a little tiny bit What was that from Two shots, pop pop Was it from SNL or like a movie where It's like someone he's drinking

water and he spills like oh i must be full like i don't remember though god uh yeah man people are you never never underestimate white people's obsession with rules it will they will they will they will spank you for that every time and if they say our rules are we sit down and we have a dialogue and that's the rules of the game if you violate those rules they're going to come they're going to come for you they do not like it when you do not

respect the rules they will upend every up in the whole table throw the game on the ground and turn the whole damn country into a HOA man but the trans the trans

activists are they're crazy they're still threatening they're tracking them down across like social media groups they're bragging the guy had the guy had a bunch of accomplices on Discord

and they're of course bragging about it like they predicted it online because they can't shut their mouths nobody criminals can never shut their mouths they're making more predictions now they're deleting everything but whoie doggies they're very dangerous group

very dangerous group and they're there are good ones but it goes like you know there are ones that there are ones that mind their own business but enough of them need it to be okay I'm a

I'm a woman that's my all my problems are that I'm not a woman alright well you need to call me that like all right I'm not gonna call you that

well then I'm gonna have to kill you yeah like that's really it's a really simple it's a really simple ideology I guess at the end of the day for some

for some for too many well you see dick it's a peaceful religion yeah I also read that that white people back in the day because everybody

everybody's always like anti-violence like it's like I don't know like it's not the easiest thing in the world to say there's violence everywhere everything everything's held together by violence either the threat of violence or the or justice with a veneer of violence it's all it's all violence you know

America was built on violence we killed horse thieves because we just can't like well we can't have this so if we find you doing it we're going to kill you and maybe that'll stop that'll stop normal people you know from doing it and they throw it out there

but then I read that during the beginning of civilization they would kill like a 1% of every generation and another 1% I'm just arriving on the scene like hey okay who did this you Bop gone

and it seems like it's a pretty important part of I don't know being able to go to college and have like a normal talk with people well that's insane here's um here's Charlie Kirk's wife

uh uh uh uh uh see if we can get I mean this isn't something you post on Instagram I'm getting flack for that too that's why the guy told me he's gonna come break my neck some rando told me he's going to come break my neck because I said don't I mean this is like

somebody take the phone away I don't know if it's because I'm old or what man but like I was always raised like you do shit like that in private like you got me too the only reason you take pictures of things or even tell people about something you did is because it's like it's because you're like it's for a reason not for like look at all this stuff context is important contact well and it's also have a big you know show show that everybody is there morning together right well and it's like going to church too right like if you go to church every sunday it doesn't matter yeah it just doesn't matter if you take a picture or not it's like you're there every sunday like that's just you're that's how you live that's but it's like i don't know man just they're in a world

where everything's online i just wish they're just people had a little more tact yeah yeah because like i mean she's not wrong for like morning it's just that like Did you take, like, two? Like, who took the picture? That's kind of, it's like... Like, I would like all of this, because at the end of the day, it's just political capital.

Like, all right, everyone's pissed off. It's all rage to direct into political capital. So when I see, like, cringe shit like this, and now I got to deal with, like, okay, you just kind of turned... You turned a lot of rage into cringe, and that's bad for me. Like, do you understand that?

Well, this is a science and rage. You understand that you gave people closure, and that's the last thing you ever want to do, you want to give people no closure so that they're always angry forever and they'll do whatever you think. I don't want the guy up the street to ever put that sign back up.

You see, you understand? I don't want that guy at the end of the street to say, oh, that blueberries, your dad's doing a work trip with Jesus to afford your blueberries. I don't want him seeing that and going, what an idiot, I'm going to put that sign back up. I want him to be ashamed.

Right. Forever. What would be worse if you put a Trump sign up? I don't know We'll see, I guess Yeah We'll see Man

We'll see if anybody does anything Instead of just standing around With their dicks in their hands Here's uh There's something I thought was funny What's that? It's just everyone being like Yeah

And then I would have done this And I would have done this And it's like you wouldn't have done shit Like no one's doing fucking anything You were right there on the sidelines Either watching or watching I would have thrown one of those liberals In front of the bullet

If I heard it I would have gone Oh yeah Whoa Yeah Shove so like I would have jumped in front with a Bible

well see I would have jumped in front with 10 Bibles so that's like that means I'm better than you for even thinking You gotta go out in like a suit of armor I guess we need Bible man back We need Bible man covered with impenetrable Bibles no he was He was like a Christian superhero man

Oh he was? Yeah Like I saw him literally yeah I wonder if someone's ever gonna Like find it cross You know, do across the examination of the stories and stuff. I don't know how to reach these kids who are, like, these guys are calling for, like, unity of people who's so aggressively want to kill them. It's almost, it's, it's, it's, uh, I guess it's a lost cause at the end of the day. I don't know what, I don't know what world white people are prepared to engage in.

One where every time there's a harsh winter, they all huddle together and pray to God. that they make it through hello how you doing what are you doing we're on the air oh have a seat if you want you see pull up a chair my dad's here yeah i'll see if we have a chair my dad's here yeah i'll see if we have any advice questions for you go ahead pull that's a bit of a mess in here i know uh here's the here's um I guess this is at some college is debate this with Charlie Kirk's neck exploding and then under it is

it's a picture of Hitler and it says prison without due process is a concentration camp I don't know how those two posters can sit side by side debate this neck exploding by the way prison without due process you really that's over the line

it's just it's kind of like like Loram-Ipsum font, right, for just like general, like rage. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, if you look at this and you're pissed off, like, that means you're like one of us. And it's like, well, it's just like unnecessary. Like, it is.

Yeah, it is. And they're like, they preach so anti-propaganda. But like, what is this supposed to be then? Just like, oh, this is just like a friendly message. It's a big win for them. Executing the leading voice for young, conservatives. It's a big win. I get why they're excited. Yeah. It's a pretty big win. I can't imagine if they're being absolutely zero

blowback or any recourse or anything. Where was the has the security team said like a whoops? Have they given an official whoopsie? Sorry, we don't we didn't, we weren't looking at our, we were using our drones to look at our trucks. We were using our drones to do flybys of our cool trucks and our hummers and other drones. And other drones. We were using our drones to like play grab ass in the air so we missed that one sniper on a rooftop that obvious human shaped yeah is that not is that not not in their peer view fucking san diego pd checked every traffic cam looking for my car like yeah what like what do you mean a local fucking police department is going to have a better or like put more men on the

case than this like what the fuck uh uh uh uh uh uh Okay, let's see. So the head of the debate club? Let me pull this one up. I just got a minute. I don't know if there's any other news than this. That little Ukrainian girl got stabbed. Well, you finally get one hot girl, hot immigrant, girl.

One hot girl led into the country to counterbalance the 20 million cat-eating Haitians. And what happens? Killed by a black guy. And he's scaring all the hose, man. Scaring the hose, man. All right, the Jesus AI shit, Hitler Yeah, yeah, here it is Head of the Debate Club

Oxford Union President Who debated Charlie Kirk Appears to celebrate the shooting And then you're never going to guess He doubled down on that The head of the debate club Shouldn't he be fired for not doubling down? Yeah, actually

Yeah, either damned if you do or damned if you could date. Yeah, like, come on. What did you expect? Head of the debate club. Jesus. Okay, this is what kids say is a successful life. Let me pull this one up. I like that caption.

Which one? She called me the N-word? Did you see that? That fucking dude, that guy who stabbed that Ukrainian girl in the neck, he starts saying she called me the end word. N-word as he's... Oh, oh, it's bleeped out. Okay.

DeCarlos Brown wasn't crazy. He knew exactly what he was doing. Yeah, he stabbed her in the neck. Can you believe all this shit? A lot of, man, a lot of shit happening in one week. Her eyes are a little fucked up. She's hot, but she's skinny. Their eyes are a little messed up.

Yeah, that's him. Where's the footage? God, this was another bad one. We got to start wearing, like, collars, man. iron fucking collars around. Oh shit. Bring it on, trans people.

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. Catch, next time we go through airport security, I'll have to de-robo my chain mail. Black people and trans boyfriends. Stabbing, bullets, bounce, knives bouncing off. Yeah, like, what the... Give it your best shot.

Trans-boyfriends. Fucking in bare armor. Oh, yeah, Jesus. Ha-ha-ha. back away come in next week with a Kevlar Vane act Foreign worthiness

Take that white That motherfucker That motherfucker owes me a few Ex-Miss Jones Be gone All the black women sitting there Stab that white boy Stab that and he's like

Stabbing at your Iron collar It's not working It's not working Man What a fucking week I think Mercury is in Gatorade, right? Mercury is Mercury gay as well?

No, it's in Gatorade. Killing Charlie Kirk doesn't mean you're not gay anymore. I'm sorry, but you're still fucking a man. Damn. At the end of the day, you're still sucking a dick. Man, that's crazy work. Sorry, man. Sorry, bro.

Fucking crazy work. Um, fat wa-fat, fat con. Oh, this is bad news. Oh, I got something semi, well, wait till we get to the Fat Watch. I got some, something special. H-1B stuff. Yeah, let me try to find the video where he goes, she was, she called me then. Word.

Oh, no, this is some other black person who said it's cool that he killed that guy, the lady. la la la la la la this uh can't find it they're doing a bunch of murals for this poor girl they gotta correct her eyes a little bit though i think if they're going to be putting that on a building you know if there's one thing i hate like the most in this world is uh government sponsored art

yeah you don't like that It's just like Well, because right Putting posters up You get all the cable boxes And it's like Those gray cable boxes

No one gets their shit Yeah But then it becomes a misdemeanor If you put posters on a On a government art Painted one Oh But then it's like these dog shit

Oh wait Those are Those are official government things Yeah Oh fuck that Yeah the city pays it So you can't graffiti It's a huge fine

Like the stupid flag Crosswalks? Yeah It's all, that's what the... Man, fuck the government. Right. So it's like you could have posters of shit

going on in your neighborhood. You know, like L.A. is supposed to be just the total shithole. And then you have these cute, like, here's a childish, like here's the sun. Here's a scrabble board that says glass L. Park. And he has sunglasses on

because he's the son and those are his glasses. And then it's like, here's a glass hell part. And it's like, it looks like a five-year-old painted this shit. Yeah. And then, yeah.

It does. It probably was a five-year-old. It probably was. Well, so then, driving around putting posters up, I've seen them actually painting it. And they get paid a shit ton of money to sit there and... I bet they do.

Do a fucking ugly cable box. And it's like, you know what? I'd rather just see a shitty cable box. Johnny, look at this shit. The Fat Con has said on the day that Charlie Kirk was killed, do you hate fascists? Man, that's pretty bold for fat women. Did they misspelled?

Do you hate fat shits? Like these bitches? Yeah, do you hate fat shits? Fascists hate fat bodies. Piss off. a fascist. Yeah, you guys are fucking killing them. What is there ice cubes? It's not a drink.

Like, who are these ice blocks? Support fat folks. Put fascists on ice. They have Mr. Freeze is working there. He's like an intern. How old we throw in puts fascists on ice? Right? And I'm like, why are you always throwing an ice shit? Mr. Freeze?

He gets kickbacks. I don't only throw in ice shit. It's about cool, being cool. Sometimes, chill out. It's not ice necessarily. He sends him an invoice at the end Well, this is how much ice you used Like Not to be that guy, but Fagas

I don't think this was the right day for this shit FatCon We should protest them Mm-hmm I kind of want to watch Okay, this is Let me All right, let me find this shit

I got a problem with this This is Erica Kirk posted this shit on Instagram. It's like a it's like a fucking elevator eyes over Charlie Kirk's corpse with yellow hands. What the

fuck is this shit? What? I don't want to see this shit. I don't ever remember this shit. I already, the blood shooting out of his jugular was bad enough. Man, they...

Don't make it about you. Come on! That's just sick. The chairs stacked? Can we get the chairs? The stacked chairs out of the shot, please? I guess, though, that doing something well is just not something that is valued.

I can understand, like, the procession part of it, but like the part that should be, It's like, oh, I don't know what's worse, the AI, Jesus, or the dead hands. Well, whatever, it's over now. Here is NBC News, decision desk poll asked Gen Z adults what they consider important to be a successful life. The combination of gender and politics produced two very different set of priorities. Okay. Men who voted for Trump, having children.

That's something they need Okay Financial independence Fulfilling job career Being married I make this bigger Being married Having money to do the things you want

Owning own home Yeah you guys can kiss that one goodbye Being grounded spiritually What the fuck is it? What? These are men we're talking about? What do you mean being grounded? Don't you just have that? It's like, yeah, I've...

Are you grounded spiritually, Johnny? Well, it's called smoking a cigarette and looking at the sunrise and going, man, you know, I have a lot of shit to do today and I can't be thinking about all the spiritual nonsense. Yeah, was that like a survey says question or did they give them multiple choice? Right. Did 24% of young Trump voters come up with that on their own? Being grounded. Being grounded.

grounded, what? Motherfuckers need to read what is a zen in the art of motorcycle maintenance. You need to go fix a car or something. Find Christ in your car. In your car. Making family community proud. Only 20...

That's not very many people. Having no debt, 21%. Using talents and resources to help others. 70%. I mean, having children? Yeah, because that means I get the pussy. Right. That's number one. The number one important thing to these men is getting the pussy. Oh, wow. And when was this survey taken? That's, oh, any time in

history? Oh, that's amazing. Crazy, right? That's crazy. I still maintain that the only reason we're not just like sitting on a beach, not doing shit, like only like 30 of us on the planet is because it's like. Is Jews? Well, pussy. It's like, oh, sorry. Why do we invent microphone? I forgot we were recording. Right. Yeah. Yeah. The same. Yeah. The role of reason Pro Tools was invented. I'm just joking, everyone. I'm just joking. You see Netanyahu came out and said,

we didn't kill Charlie Kirk. So that's an odd thing to say. It seems like the FBI could have been watching for domestic terrorists instead of watching for anti-Semitism online. I don't know. I mean, you can't do two things at once, right? You've got to pick one of the other. It's a lot to be asking.

Either I'm looking for domestic terror transgroups, or I'm looking for anti-Semitism online today. Which one am I doing, guys? Can you call the boss over in Israel and have him tell me which one I'm doing today? Because we got this, we got these Discord things popping off. And then we have a bunch of people making jokes, you know, which one you want me to do today? Let me know, put it in Slack. You get just one, yeah.

I can do one thing today. Parmicles at five. I got eight hours today. I only got one monitor. I could put two tabs together, but I don't know how to do it. It's, you know, I don't know why that feature even exists, boss. No one has ever used the two screens on the same window before, two browsers, okay? You have to have a whole separate computer for that?

I need another monitor. If you want me to do the anti-Semitism stuff and look for domestic terrorists, you're going to have to buy me two monitors. Otherwise, you've got to pick one. Well, you've got to think of all the processing involved, right? So that's a whole separate computer. That's like, you need a second person even. I got to log in to my U-Woo account

If I'm looking for domestic terrorist I got to log into my U-Wu Dipper Fur account on Discord If you want me to look for Anti-Semitism I got to log into my

Comedy account Pepe account Okay I just got to log in anywhere I can't be logging in both Unless you get Unless you got some kind of a magical fucking login

where I could be logged into two things of once I got to pick one of the other to look to protect Americans from it's either anti-semitism online or discord transe people the crazy ones you know they're the fucking crazy ones dude they're the most bloodthirsty group online by far by far oh yeah oh you mean that shit you guys are doing it didn't work didn't fucking make you feel me better oh shocker Because nothing I've ever done made me feel any better ever.

Right. Except for finding Christ. Yes. I was going to say, the more I'm looking at this, I'm like, first off, making family and community proud, what if you have a terrible family and like a terrible community where it's like, well, I had to be the best dog fighter. Like, what am I like, what am I going to let my community down? Like, fuck. Yeah, what community are we talking about here? Right.

But then I feel like that would also fall under like using talents and research. Like, some of these are so, like, could... Having kids is number one. That's the funniest, that's the funniest part. Like, why? Why? Like, there's so many people out there, too. I never understood it who are like, I need to have kids.

It's like, well, do you have anything to pass on to them? Like, any knowledge, any life experience? Hey, here's what you do. Go find a homeless guy and let him live in a room of your house. He understands just as much. Clean up a shit. Feed them whatever he wants. Just do that, if you like, having kids so much.

women who voted for Harris a fulfilling job and career 51% that's what women are after a fulfilling job so women want to answer emails all day and then get paid get fun bucks to spend on

at Lulu's online that's what women's number one goal is answering fucking emails having busy work all day and getting credits at the online shopping store that they call the bank having a fulfilling what the fuck are you you 51% of women want a fulfilling job wait there's women who want jobs what the fuck yeah I want to go to work talk I want to have people who have to be there to listen to me talk and they can't make any jokes that make me feel stupid or else they get fired it's the perfect environment for them they go you can't make them feel dumb for

asking stupid questions. Yeah. You know? They can just, they can just, um, make alliances and do like social sabotage shit all day. You don't have to get anything done. You can make checklists. The appearance, it, you get rewarded at work for appearing like you're doing work more

than actually doing work. Look at I got this Excel. See, I did this Excel. It's got all these icons and shit. It's like, uh, staycare. Summer camp. Look at this macaroni Slack chart I made

Oh, that's great What does it do? Look at all these tasks See? It's task number one Make the fucking task chart Oh wow, that's great Just like I made it with all the leftover macaroni

I spilled all over my paper Isn't it someone's birthday Shouldn't we be eating something right now? Isn't there a cereal bar here? You know, they have a cereal bar at Salesforce Why don't we have one here at Retardo.com Having money to do things you want

Okay, 46% So 54% of women are lying Yeah Having emotional stability 39% Huh? Huh? But if you say

You're the bad guy Can you have some emotional stability? Oh, what do you want? What would 39% are you like? Emotional stability. Am I crazy? if you're saying don't put a funeral on live stream a funeral in front

of a lavender brick wall like it's obviously a press release that you're doing well again I don't know if it's just my age or what but like the way I was raised is like you keep privacy or private like that and then like grieve you like the real serious like hey this is like a family affair or whatever

but I understand there is a very public side to it too that can be done in a very tasteful way but this just comes off as class why are you telling a little girl that daddy's on a road trip with Jesus for your I'm not gonna fuck the, like, that's my, when I hear that, I'm like, why would you tell a little kid that daddy's with on a road trip with Jesus because of your blueberries? Isn't that what you say to make them feel bad? Where's daddy? Oh, he's gone because of your fucking blueberries because you eat too many blueberries. Well, that's a funny. Get these blueberries out of here! Yeah, we're going bankrupt because of your blueberries. No, I mean, I kind of get it too, because how do you, right? Like, I don't know. Like, how do you explain that to a kid? I don't know, but I don't know, but don't tell everyone about it. That, that's, that's, that's, what it is, it's just don't be, it's not everyone else's business at that point. Like, you keep it with your family.

Tell everybody about it like 10 years from now. Yeah. Not today. Because again, like in many ways, I think it's... Now, if you make me feel too bad, it's going to go bad. I'm feeling bad because of what I'm consuming. Now you're making me feel bad. I don't like that.

So I got a correct other way. No, and I get that too. And like, in some regards, I think it's like, you know, it's... in some degrees it is sweet and some degrees it is damaging because again it's like you kind of have to tell your kids the truth about things but also like

I don't know I don't know either and but I do know that things like that it's like man just again keep it to your like keep it within this like allow yourself

the space to breathe like that don't like oh I said this and now I have to tell everyone else too it's just yeah don't tell me if you have a problem with what I'm saying definitely don't tell me about it Uh, using talents and resources to help others, 37%. Financial independence, 30-something percent. Isn't financial independence and having no debt, like the same kind of strain of like...

Yeah, having no debt, 21%. Owning your own home. Only 20% of women wanted that. And they, I'm matured that. That means someone else's home. Making family or community proud. That's about the same, 19%. Being grounded spiritually, 11%. Which is even better Considering all the All the women mystics and shit And look at how... Oh, yeah!

Like, they should have 100%. They're all obsessed with that shit. Right. That's why when I saw that stat, I'm like, so they all know each other as a fucking huckster then. Fuck that. Like... Yeah.

It's bullshit. It is all bullshit. That's a good point. How many women do you know and have seen online that are like, oh hi if oh hi got wiped off the map that would solve a lot of problems i think if oh hi sidona shasta dude it's only those 11% of women that are like powering that whole industry yeah of crystals and bullshit that's how many of them are out there being able to retire early and then here's the kicker being married and having children are at the very bottom at 6%

Well Guys will probably act shocked by this But it's because when you have a kid Your fucking life is over And you will spend two months And counting with a 10 pound Bioorganic weight

Laying on your chest that will scream If you move it So it's really it's really really not surprising it's shocking how devastating having a kid is

for women and not for men so that's very easy to understand I guess if guys are saying they're shocked by women not saying being married and having kids

is a priority I question what they think both of those things are like oh I want to live with this guy forever who's like these are his priorities having kids right away and having a kid right away means that I'm basically fucking sidelined for

ever uh yeah that's I'll just wait and see I'll wait and see if the right one comes around that makes sense to me man oh okay Hitler

it's black guy steal his hats divorce is plunging after equal rights for fathers oh wow how about that let's see here active shooter drill ah I'm bummed I don't have that

she called me the N-word thing yeah that's really fucking annoying not that you don't have the clip but like the whole the hole he starts muttering to she called me the N-WR she called me the N-WRid Like, bro. Yeah, you can't, you're not going to convince yourself after the fact. Like, we trained them to do this.

That's our fault. Mm-hmm. Just like the feeding. The feeding effect. Oh, my God, I forgot to finish that story. So my wife goes to open the fridge. Oh, yeah. And she must have opened it in a weird way.

Because the, where I had put it in, you know, the soda, the soda, the 12 can soda, thing and that when I ripped the top the bottom thing ripped when she opened the fridge the cans started because of their because the when the top row gets like pyramid shaped it exerts a downward pressure and usually

if you bump into the fridge it'll cascade out of it. Usually it doesn't overwhelm the little flap usually there's a little piece of perforation still in there a little bit of glue or there's a lip on the on the shelf that will you know

catch it so it doesn't build she opened it and it was like a broken vending machine the cans just start flying out and we're both on no sleep she had just put the baby down the cans just go

wham, bam I hear wham and thunk and I think oh no not a thunk I heard him in my head I was like wham wham okay that means contact with the boot the ground two whams Give me a third wham

Come on Give me a third wham Big money all whammy Big money all whammy Give me a wham Give me a wham And Thunk

No No no no You know she's livid At that point I know she screams She does a pain scream Oh shit But it's all an anger

I'm like Oh that's an anger scream Disguised as a pain scream I'm like, oh, no, this is all my fault. Oh, no. So I do that thing where when you fuck up so badly and someone's hurt, you have to, like, run over and stand, like, Otho from Beatlechute, like a homosexual, with your hand, like, oh, oh, oh, like, wimpy.

And I run over, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm going, oh, oh. it's a quick way to become very meek oh and I it's taking everything in me to ask the dumbest question that everybody asks when someone's heard is is it broken of course you don't know but you have to ask for some reason is compelled by Christ to ask even though it's so

fucking annoying to the person who's writhing in pain on the ground but I'm thinking oh I'm thinking oh I'm sorry about your your foot but I'm thinking if I have to take care of this baby and 80s girls in a cast on her foot

I'm gonna fucking kill myself I'm like oh my god no yeah you gotta be careful man I need a trans shooter to be up there shooting those soda cans out of the air pop pop pop you know what when is the trans shooting squad gonna be

like the hell's ain't like what was Charlie's angel What was the Red Beret Angels guys? Oh. We need, like, trans shooters to take out... A good trans shooter takes out... The only thing that could stop a trans shooter with a gun is a good trans shooter with a gun. Right?

He's a passable... I see what scale of... I'm gonna get killed for this one. Oh, God, I felt so bad. Dude. Probably worse than every... And I've ever felt in my life, and totally selfishly. That's the worst.

kind because like because then you know too like like if you had to guess how much percentage was feeling me fucked now versus her being hurt i would say a half percent to her being more than maybe and an overwhelming 110 and a half percent going oh god if i have to deal with this i vowed to never clean up again never i said honey never will I clean up another box in this house for as long as I live

I shall never clean up again yeah man that's like that's real again my buddy makes those shirts and say please don't help and the worst thing you could ever do in this world is help oh

and then I'm she's like sitting on the chair and I'm like it was my it's my fault it's like

oh you think I know but you have to say those sorts of things like you can't you have to say them you gotta take accountability because otherwise then it's like

then it turns into a grudge it's like hey man I fucked up like you gotta let that steam out you have to blow off that fucking steam and then I said okay but really

I mean who hears the cans coming and they don't start moving their feet There we go I knew there was the nugget of wisdom What am I supposed to do fucking dance Like it's a cowboy times Like pew-bibu-bib-bib-boh

I said, well, I mean Yosemite Sam is shooting at her feet Jesus I mean You're not supposed to just fucking stand there flat-footed Man It's like going down with the Titanic

Oh God I've been there See the thing is I've done that to myself before right And I Yeah me too I've done it And you because you think like okay it's one

And then they start They start coming They just They don't stop coming And you know Just like Smash mouth said And they kept rolling out And one landed right on like

The exact space of my toenail Just perfectly on it you know, like, edge of the can right here, like, dink, and I took that can in the can after that, because my back windows are, like, do I sliding back door was open? And I threw that shit so fucking hard that I was like, I don't care.

Begone, Satan! I don't care if I miss the brick fence and go over and, like, smash through someone's window. And somebody in the head. Yeah, I'm like, I don't care. Like, that was such a vast injustice caused by myself, which again, when you have no one else to be mad at but yourself, That's the worst.

But then when you cause that to someone else, it's like, oh, I can't believe I did this. You fucking idiot. And again, it's all very selfish, like, oh, I'll show these fucking sonagans, right? And you just like turn. And they're rolling around on the floor with their bottoms all bulged out. Yeah, and then you can't drink it. They don't never sit in your fridge correct again. And it's like, you know what?

I'm not even going to drink you. Never mind, I will drink you out of spite. I'm going to chug you. Oh, man I've been there On both stams of things But And then the baby wakes up

And he starts screaming immediately Ah Man And I'm trying to like I'm trying to like I'm trying to like I'm trying to figure out if her foot's broken Right?

Yeah And I'm not going to get I wouldn't help me either if I was trying to do this It's like, fuck you. Like, you're only worried because of yourself, right? Yeah. So I'm trying to do it secretly.

So I'm like, ooh, let me see the foot. And I'm like kind of squeezing it. Like, because I know what a break feels like. You can't say no. You can't deny it. Like, it's just white hot explosion in your brain. And she's like, and she's watching me do it. She's like, like that.

And I'm like, okay, but, uh... Look the other way. Look over, yeah. Don't look at me. Look over there. poke, poke. Yeah. And it was right on, like, the knuckle of her toe,

of her little toe. Oh, God. The little toes will get fucked. They're so worthless, too. Well, no, you need them. You need your littlest two toes. Otherwise, you won't ever be able to balance. Ever?

Ever. Just fall over? Yeah, because it's those are, like, where the two end up. Like, if you were missing your big toe, right, like with the heart. Big toe, sure. Obviously fall over Like this, right? And so if you lose those

You can't balance Like you just have like a Edge to your foot Yeah So then if you have those two You can at least use the outside edge For support I like walking like that sometimes

On the outsides of my feet It's like cool Because you have Yeah Because you have I like pretending that I have I'm wearing ice skates I go like

Do to do Doe do like this I go around the house Oh yeah That's the only way to do it. I don't get to do any of that fun. Buy myself stuff at home anymore. Slide around.

No. But that's the stupid thing. Is there the easiest two toes to fuck up? And you need them. She should have been wearing shoes. Listen, I know you're a woman. You need to wear shoes now. No.

That's fucking. No. Jesus. I know you're busy today. Please, please, Jesus. Heel my wife's foot. Please, Jesus. She stupidly opened the fridge in a way that it was too fast,

and the air somehow pulled the cans out and broke the perforation. Please, Jesus. Being at the DMV, you got the little ticket thing. It's like, oh, yeah, you're like four age. Cool. Jesus. Come on. You fucked up with Charlie Kirk.

You owe me. Where were you on Charlie Kirk? He was like, oh, shit, man. He ain't on a road trip with Jesus. He's dead in the fucking ground. That's where debating gets you. Yeah. That's what debating with these fucking psychos gets you.

Dead in the fucking ground. And that's where I realize I finally get what Sean's talking about. Yeah. You got to put all this shit away. That's because that's the reality. Debating with these fucking whack jobs, always appealing to some sort of goodness that's in them, they're not good.

It doesn't exist. They're not good. They're fucking bad. They're fucking bad guys. And that feeling does not sit well with almost everyone. But that shit is the truth. There is no hint of God in them. They are just bad.

They're weird. They got fucked up. They got fucked up and programmed wrong. COVID locked them in a house with ultra-conservative parents who are themselves fucked up. And they went on discord to escape it and met a bunch of other fucking weird psychos who are half of them are radicalized. Half of them are desperate for human connections. They fucking get in there and fester like a crock pot, like a pressure cooker. One of us should do something about, wouldn't that be awesome?

Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't that be awesome? There you go. That's the world that it is that we're in. Nothing good about it. So I'm telling you, man, everyone get back out there and fucking learn how to fucking farm, start digging. Just dig ditches arbitrarily. You'll feel better.

And then fill them. Yeah, and then late. down and cover yourself back up. But, yeah. Here's Bill Maher. Here's Ben Shapiro. Ultimate fucking Gryftier who said he's going to pick up the bloody Michael, Charlie Kirk's bloody microphone. No thanks, bro.

Yeah, that's... Why don't you debate Nick Fuentes then, pencil dick? If you're going to pick up the debate microphone, why don't you go ahead and split that microphone with Nick Fuentes since you're, like, debating so much now? It's all sick. It is all sick. Like, everyone's reactions is just, like, sick.

like I don't know what's worse you know I didn't expect it from the wife I thought oh man I feel bad and then I saw that funeral shit I'm like I don't feel bad anymore

man all right I have this debate about who started it let's not debate about who's worse because plainly both sides do it now

let's not have a debate about who's worse because you guys do it too that's the first thing well You don't need to point fingers or anything here. Let's not point fingers because there's going to be more pointing at you.

Always three pointing back right at you. Let's not point fingers because you're going to lose that debate. Unless you're pointing with all five fingers at a 45 degree angle. Yeah. With only one arm. But yeah. And the right has done it too a lot. Now, here's a somebody wrote, these are...

Oh, fuck off. Get the hell out of you. Yeah. What an asshole What a fucking ass Is the quartering still in church Can we get a selfie update From the quartering

God In the overflow room Crying with all the children Can we get a pick Can we get a live stream No point in debating anything Debating is fucking stupid Totally fucking stupid

You said it best A few episodes ago however many, it's boots on next, man. You say, you meet somebody and you say, are you like me? How like me are you? I'm pretty like you. Okay, you look like me?

Let me hear what you think. You think like me. I support you no matter what. That's what it's going to take. You, you don't look like me. How do you think? Okay, you think like me. Okay, that works too.

But are you doing the same, are you doing the same process I'm doing? that's part of this. You're not? That's a problem. I support you less. Otherwise, otherwise you don't make it through this.

Buttfucker Jones says we need to have Jersh Denny back at least every three months. I would support that crowd fund. Cool. Then he's cool. We're appreciated that he could come in. Yeah, that was awesome. Last minute.

Thank you very much for pulling up, man. He said, yeah, you can always rely on me because I'm never going to be hung over. Oh, yeah, you don't drink. Good for you. What's Pisses Me Off Please do not read my name on the show And his name is

What's Pisses Me Off? That's crazy Archived Amazon boxes I opened my girlfriend's closet And a wave of Amazon boxes crashed into me I thought it was a female regular trash hoarding Until I realized some of these boxes

Were years old and unopened You got a fucking hoarder dude Damn She's accumulating boxes At a rate of nearly four a week She is a hoarder Yeah She's a legit hoarder

you gotta stop that shit you gotta get in there open it all up actually don't even just call it the cops on her uh put child porn her computer Jesus Christ

that wasn't taking his name in vain I was praying right now oh god now is the time of unity unity with fucking what man they're like fucking these people want to kill you

and plenty of us want to kill them too what the fuck you're talking about not even Unity the gaming engine get it all out of here yeah rename it thanks for the feedback says Jimmy Smiths I'm gonna keep seeing that girl until she asks for money

thank you yeah that's a good that's a pretty good life rule if you're not stick around if you want to stick with somebody until they start asking you for money that's always the

like me nope um also i don't mean the porn was to blame of course not i mean 20 years of jacking off it would have been the same issue without porn no buddy we've all been jacking off for 20 years i've been jacking off for probably 30 years myself

uh so gold star we're all still having sex I'm doing fucking pit crew timed sex now oh the baby's asleep let's go beat stop that little fucking car this French guy with a cigarette comes out. Bits up after I come.

Wow, that was a fast one. Go. Man, cigarettes are so cool. Baby's still sleeping. Whew. Man, hearing even. Man, hearing even just the, like, that email, it's like, man, like, everyone's just too terminally online and

worried about, like, but I have all these maladies and this is causing this and this is causing this. And I'm like, I'm jacking off too much. My old roommate would get into these, like, YouTube holes where he'd be like, he'd like, watched Sam Harris for like three months straight. And then every time I would see him would be like a Sam Harris love argument. And then he'd find some other, like modern day, like, whatever you want to get some quack job. And then just like every, but it's like if you... We got church with no congregation. You go to church, that asshole says something.

You're like, turning your neighbor. I don't believe him. Fuck that guy. But you go online, he's watching YouTube. Preacher just gets to say whatever he wants. And you got no one around. Did you hear that shit about what Sam Harris said? Oh, imaginary friends?

Nobody? Yeah. I guess he must have been right. Right. Well, and then it just turns into like, I need to find justifications for every possible thing in life and a reason for everything. And this is, see, I would be good at this.

this, except I'm just doing this. It's like, just quit doing it. You don't have to fucking sit there and like... Just be bad at it. Who cares? Well, that too. Or if you know you're bad at it, use that as a stepping stone to be like, wow, okay, this is where I should improve. Oh, you didn't hear that story. I didn't, no, but just from that was like a whole...

He hooked up with some slut at a concert who's living with her ex-boyfriend and sleeping with him. He goes, what should I... He lost his virginity. Me and Joshua, I'm like, all right, you got, don't... She belongs to the streets. And I'm saying I couldn't get it up because of porn or jacking off.

I was like, no, you couldn't get it up because he's a fucking whore. You couldn't get it up because you rode in and got a fucking truth bomb dropped on you. This is before. Gun-toting lunch. It's becoming increasingly clear

that we can't live or work with liberals on account of how fat and self-destructive they are. Thoughts? They do really hate there is a there is a thread of envy that runs through all of this

well of course that's why it's everyone wants to be equalized and stuff it's not about like yeah everyone needs to be brought down to my level yeah a lot of it's about bringing you down crabs in a bucket shit and if it were up to them they'd eat them all fermanator again I'm so far behind and catching up but I'm listening to dick show

and you are talking about New York City and Not sure about by now, but I'm NYC. You can pass small grocery stores in ethnic neighborhoods and you see these empty 55-gallon plastic drums for sale. And what they do is fill them with food they bought with EBT and then mail the barrels to their family and their home country. Jesus fucking Christ. I don't think that's true. They're mailing 55-gallon drums of food back to India. I think they're selling it at their stuff.

store. I think they're getting free food with EBT and then selling it out of their trunk. I mean, that wouldn't shock me either. At this point, I'm shocked by nothing when it comes to the scams related around all that shit. Maybe they are. Maybe they're sending it back across the fucking ocean. Well, it's like all the Sikhs who fucked up the trucking industry because they got all these subsidies so then they can buy like a, you know, quarter million dollar piece of equipment and then charge 30 to 60 cents a mile when it's like, dude, these truckers need to be making like four to seven bucks a mile depending on the fucking freight like what the fuck yeah yeah um babies hey dick babies are equally the best and worst thing ever you'll likely

fall asleep with them in that fancy gliding rocking chair and it's awesome you'll watch as they start crawling and saying mama and dad dad then you'll get them in a jumper and they'll shit down their leg and all over the floor thank god you're not dealing with twins because it's exponential harder keeping them both happy on schedule and still have time for yourself i'm rambling but so far you're killing it, just roll with the punches. Remember, you're allowed to be yourself. What the fuck does that mean? Isn't that a gay?

Oh my God, look what they did to me in the UK. And then we got to do Johnny's Brain Rock Corner. Oh, man. I saw this. Look what they did to me in the fucking UK. They made me a gay groomer kind of guy. Look at this. That is...

Joe Wicks gets C-B's, C-Bee-Bee-Bee's, moving with a new animated series, activate. Enjoy 10 episodes filled with movement, music, and fun over on BBC I-Player. and BBC He Bebys and kids return to school. What the fuck? This is obviously me and I'm some sort of a gay grooming

guy targeted at kids. Dude, they gave you small arms too. What the fuck? What the fuck? I'm wearing some kind of a gayest part. They were like, ah, Andy's weak. They got like a gay infinity sign with rainbow and all these little weird gay demons all over the place. Is it an LGBT thing?

How could it not be? How could it not be? It's got the rainbow on it. There's way too many colors. It's exactly me. So I've got to watch my back now. I'm going to get stabbed by an Islam if I ever go to the UK. You might? Because I'm the number one gay groomer over there.

Fuck. In the UK, that's a hard thing to do. What? Be the number one. I'm the number one. That's their whole apartment, right? Worse than Jimmy Saville. Right, yeah.

Look at that. What the hell? Can I get some money for this? You should. reparation This is my likeness You're using my likeness to make me a gay groomer Now we just got to start seeing all the AI clips

Of this guy blowing Dr. Phil's asshole out What is Joe Wicks? Is that? Oh, it's supposed to be him? It looks more like me! Yeah, what the fuck? Uh Yeah, that doesn't look like him His hair's parted on the other side See?

Oh, mine is two This whole world is fucking backwards, man I don't know anymore I'm rambling Just roll with the punches Remember you're allowed to be yourself They'll never be this small again It's bittersweet

It's fun watching them grow up And boys are very tough As in they can handle a lot of bumps What is this like? chicken soup for the first time parents fucking soul what kind of man there's a woman did your wife write this did your wife's LLM write this with my boys I try to throw them around pretend to wrestle

be silly all that I'm not doing any of that shit you have to be out for blood I'll break my damn arms it's easy to get mad at them what but then when they start saying I love you data and I missed you today it becomes a whole new thing This guy's getting

fucking love bombed by his little kids They fucked up And he's pissed at them But he can't say no That's why your workplace Will say like Well welcome to our family

Because no one can treat you worse Than family Yeah I love you dadda It's a fucking trick Oh yeah See Hit an X

You gotta be wary for that Don't give them a fucking Tablet or phone At 3 by the way Yeah sure No problem Love you Johnny And even Vito too

This guy's This guy's... This guy's... He's got estrogen leaking out of his eyes and whatever. Not even a go fuck yourself? Man.

Thanks for the years of laughs. I'm the greatest. I'm the greatest man in the world. I'm better. Do I have that? Oh, yeah. I think about this song every so often.

Me too. I like hearing... Malware Matt. You know this guy. I love malware Matt. Yeah, we used to be co-workers, man. What is he? Is he drinking or something?

Oh, he wrote that in? Yeah. Matt, you motherfucker. Why on earth would you write some shit like that? This fucking guy. Ultimate Dad says, I listen to say it's in-group preference or died. That's what we're doing now.

On last dick show this morning, and I haven't been able to think about anything else. You best believe that, you best start believing in race war is Missy? Is you in one? I am better Okay, let's look at Johnny's Oh man

So I got a You got some good stuff? I got some good stuff Like I said Some stuff Oh, go to your email Oh, okay Because I sent you

I took a page From Vinnie Paulino's Brother Vinnie's book Yeah Of actually Compiling a list of links You could click through Instead of doing it like a fucking retard

Like I have been this whole time What email did you send it to? That one Should be That's all Okay Okay So go ahead

Set us up First up to bat Is I called this Happy Birthday But in India It's And this is

How do you know Oh it's very apparent Okay It's This is This is It looks like

An Indian Homeless guy Like a Like castaway Tom Hank's Indian though Yeah he's

He's putting a crown on this other Indian guy. They're both serious. I don't know why. And then he's putting Sour Patch Kids or something. Do you turn it down? Yeah. It's individually wrapped hard candies. And the guy's not wearing his shirt.

It looks disgusting. And look at his fingernails too. Wait, what? Why does he have that three inch Coke nail? Right. And they're playing Happy Birthday in English with an Indian accent. notice how dead everyone looks inside

because they'll pan out in a second oh there you go there's the big reveal right is that like a birthday Santa Claus that they have I guess the whole account is just like

you bring your whole family out and have this asshole play this happy birthday song and dump a bunch of candies who's filming it is it another I don't fucking dower looking

Indian NPC? Oh, wow, we're getting crazy now. They forgot it. It's supposed to be a fucking landscape. So, again, for those of you who need a birthday wish, a happy birthday from India in India. So I thought that was a pretty fucked one

because it was just like, that's, man. The next one is, oh, I was, you're going to love this one. So this is Mexican women testing out larger shells like hermit crabs. So these are the pants they're going to grow into Is what this is a display of Hermit crabs will, when they outgrow their shell

They'll go find another one That's larger to go into, yes They grow into that Okay, and now we have Looks like a giant pair of pants Walking around Right, and soon those will be too tight And then we'll need to find larger ones

Mexican women do that Yes, well and so here's the festival If you would like to play on this The festival of the migrating pants The Festioles De los Pantolones Yeah, it would be the carnival But that's Brazilian, yeah

this is what they do at the quinceaniera yes this actually might be a quinceanero so you can see these two young these two young Mexicans have chosen a new pant size that they're going to grow into is that's what you're saying yes yeah that looks accurate so there's plenty of room now

because the pants are about four feet wide yes at that stretched across however they will certainly grow into them correct yeah and at one point

part of the song I translated it part of the song is about how at some point this is a moment it's a momentous celebration which at one point you will grow into these and will become too large and we'll need a larger larger even larger pants yeah that's interesting I've never seen footage of it

well neither have I've only heard rumors of such an event and now to get to see it and bring it to all of you guys So the next one is the innovative hair styles salon Okay So this one we'll check a few other ones on the account Because there's some

There's some very innovative hair styles If you can imagine Now this is a fat black woman With a It looks like A Shih Tzu is on her head Yeah Well she was going for the opposite

Of the vector hair color With the A blonde Shih Tzu is on her head Facing the other way Like the dog This would be its tail where her right yeah it should

pop up and wag but it's obviously in a bad state it's just a shirt this is most hated too yeah now a mug shot

it's right there it's just everything about the composition of it all was pretty good but it's the if you click on the account we'll see some truly innovative

hairstyle and that is innovative as fuck well keep scrolling down swastika of design here yeah there okay

this is incredible man that is that is breezy wow well I think it was for the Chris Brown show

that just happened XX it's it's uh what's her sock's eyes but yeah so

as the name applies innovative hairstyles um for all of you out there who need a little do you think

she could fit in a hula hoop no No. I think she's wearing one on her wrist, even. I just love the inclusion of the Tweety Bird on the jacket and all this, but, man, there is. Oh, now, this is a nice, this is a nice mess. This is a lasagna that tipped over in the car.

Took a corner too fast. Well, I've noticed, you never seen any of these women smoke, and I, because I have the feeling that if any of them do, you'll probably get lit up like a Vietnamese monk. I would fucking kill for a cigarette right now Look at this The Circle K shirt She pulled up This is the most normal

Haircuts so far But it's the It's the shirt Right It's the like We're innovating Dress for the job you want Yes

That's what they say You got a dress for the job you want Not the job you have Which is none You know That is a step up I'm being too harsh You're right

But yeah So this is a Oh here's a Klingon haircut That's not Nice. Well, there's a Klingon with a black lady's haircut, rather.

It looks like it's half cornrows. Mm-hmm. And then half the nanny with Fran Dresher. Half Fran Dresher. That's really. Now that is an innovative

style. It is. It didn't say amazing hairstyle. It's innovative. And so I have to agree with this account. This is more just to bring her

some shine and some business because clearly she's innovating. Oh, this is a foahawk. This is a slimming mohawk. Yeah. It's like... Jesus Christ. It's like every Jerry curl all it was.

When she whistles, when there's a whistles, she runs off camera and Arthur Morgan jumps on her and robs a train with her. Well, the thing is, she's wearing a shirt that says family, and I think she's big enough to where she could have her whole lineage. It's a family-sized shirt. Yeah. That's exactly. Oh my goodness. What is this? Twinkie?

It was a fresh baked loaf of bread. Located in Statesboro, Georgia. What the fuck is? Did this woman ask for this? She's older. I think it's like a Playmobile. Playmobile or Playmobile hair. Yeah, yeah, those Playmobile guys.

Flip it on. Oh, that's how it's, you can see structurally, it's like the 3D printer. Internals. Look at this. That's interesting. It's a cross section. Again, very... Actually, this is an artistic piece.

It is. Well, I'm like, again... It's a cross-section of a shitty haircut. I'm not here to shit on this. This is very innovative. That's fucking innovative as fuck! Yeah. I love people like, what's the style called?

Anyway, so you can click off this one. Everyone else can go in on a total deep dive because we have a couple more to get to. Okay. What street takeovers look like in India? I can't wait. And this is... How do you know this is in India?

Again, it'll be very apparent. Okay. And there's a guy chained to the ground, like Gulliver's travels, and he's got a brick on his, a normal brick on his chest and his stomach. And he's blindfolded, and there appears to be a guy wearing, like, all Indian outfits are, like, shit that if you just took a Kmart and jumbled it all up. Yeah. Discarded golf.

clothing. Yeah, this guy, he's wearing only pants, and then this guy's wearing like a striped yacht shirt, no shoes, no one has any, this guy has shoes. He must be the gay one or something. I don't know why he's got shoes and no one else

does. But very familiar setting, right? A bunch of people standing around gawking at something happening in the center of things. No women. No women. Never once one time see a woman. Very L.A. Street takeover kind of vibe. And he's got a sledgehammer or something and he's looking like he's going to hammer these bricks.

Yes. Okay. Oh, that wasn't a brick. Oh. And the blaring music in the background, too. Just dink. Oh. So for those are you looking to get worldly and travel and do all this fun shit around the world? Is that what this is?

Don't go to India, I think, is with the lessons. I like the wind up. Oh, yeah. A very sassy, very snake-like, just fantastic. So, you know, if you thought L.A. Street takeovers are bad. I think this might be a little bit worse. Because at least a car, right? If that goes out of control, like, it could be anyone's guess.

That is like... You should be watching it. You should be this. Why is he blindfolded? Like, what is the purpose of blindfolding this guy? At least give him a last cigarette, right? Shouldn't he know when the hits coming to tense his stomach? That's the whole point of this

That's how you break the brick, right So anyway, I saw that and laughed my ass off I think I was just at a very sick point And he still exists? This guy, he's still alive? I'm sure, and if not, he exists floating in the Ganges Somewhere, freshly stripped of all his worldly belongings. Okay, so after that we have somehow more bootleg necromancy. Now, this is the one that a lot of people have sent me.

Johnny, this is really an incredible presentation that you put together. I mean, it's got descriptions and things. I just, I wanted to put some effort in. I'm not used to this level of professionalists. I couldn't make it last week, so I was like, I'm going to go extra hard this week. I'm going to do a good job. So, yeah, this is, a lot of people have sent me this one. I've got this a few weeks before anyone else, so to get, start getting it from people.

I'm like, okay, good, you're starting to enter my domain. I appreciate that. I asked somebody to make a Charlie Kirk one as a joke, and before I even got it back, there were real ones. I'm like, this is unbelievable. It was very fast. Okay, let's see it. So somehow, they made this, they took the concept and made it worse. Is this Mexican?

I guess so, yeah, because if you click on the account, there's a lot of other ones, too, but there's, like, more white people involved. You have to click on the Reels tab, too. Okay. It's a little lower. Oh, that's what this is? All right. So it's just as tactless, but it's almost a little rushed, right?

Somehow, whoever runs this account has taken the formula we learned from special moments, right? And somehow cheapened to that. Oh, man, this is the knockoff version? This is the knockoff version. This is probably not a professional, like, mortician or undertaker. I don't even think the last person was. Speaking of Grave digger, if you're out there, I'd love to see your take on this.

Oh, no. Right. No, it's... Not a little fat girl. Yeah. She needs bigger wings. Those wings don't match those draws. Right.

Again, I'm so glad to, I'll personally message all you guys back who sent me this. I was laughing when I was like, oh, yeah, you guys are just as sick as I am. I love it. Come on. Yeah. But so, you still have the same song playing, and then it loops a few times. And then it's just like, why doesn't the loop last the duration of the song? Why don't we have a nice presentation?

Why doesn't the dad wave? Right. It's the equivalent of like having. MySpace like flame graphics where it's like cool it's a looping thing but like this is not my fault for laughing at this stuff well because it's tasteless

it shouldn't be on the internet it shouldn't this is I completely agree with you uh okay oh that oh no the little girl she doesn't even give her mom a hug

she doesn't make it to heaven she just goes in the air yeah yeah that doesn't really give me a feeling of closure No. And then there's that like she's flying up and then it cuts to another frame where it like opens up and does the same flying up thing. And it's like how did you fuck that up? I mean you fucked it up. You got to be in heaven. Got to be in heaven. You always have to. I could throw her up in the air. You have to hug, turn, walk to heaven. That's the three key elements that Confucius taught us, right? And so the three elements of hip hop. And so. Okay. Here's this fucking weird out. see he stops midwalk and he's like pulsing like he's taking damage or like has a buff or like casting a spell or something fuck this up the computer does all the work right so again shout out to everyone who sent me to decals this was the bootleg version what is this like aliens oh oh this is one of my favorites it's supposed to be lens flare and then the impact for when she breaks through the atmosphere and into heaven like it looks like when v tech

in on your Honda like why is it so blurry we never get to see her face right it's just a quick frit and then she's gone again no hug and no heaven yeah so and she's more like archangel like all right i got to go yeah it's like oh someone's calling the rocketeer god's calling i got to go what is this shit this is two football guys in the locker room is this guy going to break through the roof like the Kool-lade man see oh there was no room at no roof Again, if you're going to memorialize someone, have the gall to do it, well, as correct as the last lady. Special Moments has it as correct as you could possibly ask for. Nailed it.

Nailed it. Okay. Now, this one is sick. So taking a baby to the dentist. All right. Wednesday. Oh, Wednesday? No, Rensday.

Oh, her name is Wren. Mm-hmm. Now, go ahead and click. Now, this is one of those fake babies. Oh, no. So this insane lady took a fucking fake baby to the dentist. It's like an absolute sick maniac. Bro, what?

Bro. Bro. Wren had a big girl moment today. Her first pretend trip to the dentist. Huge thanks to Caring Tree Dentistry for making this toddler's day. No, they should have said no. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

Everyone involved in that is sick. Whoever made? Reborn community? Yes. Reborn toddler, pretend play? What the fuck? Well, there's those reborn dolls, right? That, like, if your baby died or whatever, then you can not have a chance to, but it's a sickness. And these people latch onto it forever and turn into a beautiful mind about it.

But yeah, that was extremely. Why they play in the Rugrats theme? Right. Well, a trap remix of it, too, not even, like, anything like. no this is a real man if I go into a dentistry and there's some fucking doll pretending to be a kid I'm out

uh huh that's sick I'm calling the police yeah so I'm calling the ADA afterward too calling the ADA like I know you got a sick fucking dentist in here operating on dolls yes absolutely fucked so any of that was

that was my Rosie Reborn mom yeah and this lady has like I think a couple different ones too I'm a reborn mom to nine reborns and a real mom to two boys and girls? Here we go. Next assassin.

Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I grew up with nine dolls in the house and like three other siblings. Dude. Yeah. No. Bro.

It's sick. Is this a real little girl next to a not real doll? I think those are both dolls. Yeah, those are... What the fuck? It's sick. It's fucking sick. So she has no kids, right? I mean, this is probably a guy.

No, she just said... But, you know, do we have any pictures of that? Oh, true. That's a good point. Oh, yeah. If you've been following us for a while, you know that Wren has been dying to go to the aquarium ever since our first fish store. I gotta take my son to the aquarium with a fucking woman with a fake baby walking around! Yeah.

Now, I will say... I'm gonna blow that shit up like Mission Impossible to. Slap it on the thing and run. Well, so there's this video floating rod. I can't remember if I've said it to you where there's a... The caption is like when the egg dog starts hitting

a little too hard and it shows this lady playing with a reborn doll like moving it around and flexed and there's this lady with Down syndrome sitting there looking confused as fuck how like this lady's

fucking up this real baby. Today's the day we're finally headed to Monterey. Get the fuck out of Monterey. Why does she have a little black baby and a little white baby? That's what I'm saying dude like it's so...

Like even in the fakeness of it all she's like well I have to be multi-culture like what the fuck as we hit the road get ready because does Jesus know about this I hope that's why he stopped talking to this earth are you kidding me

people like her the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore I need a quartering update on it I need a church update on the quartering yeah this almost made me go back to church is he gonna is he gonna argue with anybody at church okay here's three more fake

dude she doesn't have any real kids dude she's insane She's like an actual fucking lunatic I thought it was sick and hilarious because I'm like, man I'm just trying to find one real kid here This is her reborn family It's Princess Movie Night

Jesus fucking Christ See guys that are like this end up in prison But women are just able to live their lives Yeah And there's a community around it too And she's putting the she's pretending to play As the little kid Mm-hmm

Whoa Sickness the Libyans Well and see That That right there is so she could eat Two boxes of M&Ms And two servings of popcorn

All of this is a big con Yes To eat more M&Ms Yes So there's another sickness Dude everything about this It stinks from the inside From the bottom all over the top

It's all a trick To eat more candy Yes It's all a trick Well it's from my fake babies And it's like Well bitch you're the size of all Can I have nine orders of kids pancakes, please?

Yes. Nine happy deals for all my fake, but yeah. Disgusting. Now, something a little lighter in nature. Okay, because this is a bad one. This next one is, it's time for the 10-foot-tall percolator. Now, Dick, do you remember that dance, the percolator? No.

Well, here's a guy doing it in an unfinished doll house. And he does it really well, too. I was just laughing because of... You're going to hit the percolator. It's time for the percolator. It's kind of like a cinematic masterpiece, right? Yeah. Between the phone position, the lighting.

Light is great. Everything about it is one of my favorite thing. Maximum effort. Maximum effort. Sox pulled away up high. Well, look, the higher the socks to down or the fool. So this fool's fucking down. He gets it.

He's on board. I'm tired of seeing me. It's had in these videos. As you're not hitting it right Okay Okay Boom Move

Move It's time for the furculator Boom Boom Boom Boom Right you got to have the shoulders Yeah

That's it That's it Again I just He's doing a great job at it Like obviously the footwork component Is not there But

Okay It's just so funny Because of all the things online Right that are so done And so manicured and whatever. This fucking asshole decides like, you know what? I'm going to make it look like I'm 10 feet tall in my basement.

Anyway, that's a cool dance. Can I learn that? You will tear a rotator cuff if you percolate. No, I can dance. Oh, okay. Then let's... I've never hurt myself dancing. New Patreon goal is... It hits 50 grand we're percolating in a dollhouse.

I got to be able to whip that out. Right. Well, you've got to hit it right. So anyway... Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Wait, do it again. I know how to floss. Floss is classic, man. Okay, you're going up, up, up, up. This is down.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Okay, I can do that. Yeah. So, anyway, that was my, that was a little bit of breath of fresh air after such a morbid. You're seeing Charlie Kirk's dead hands. And just all the sickness we've encountered. And if you look back in that email, I do have some bonus fat watch for us. Okay. Let's do that next time. That's the show for today.

Amazing. Thank you, everybody. Weight watchers, isn't a new one's up. We'll do a bonus episode this week, I think. Yes. Welcome to the new Jesus is America that we're in. Dude. What a world.

You know what I realized, though? Like our man here just said, That's time for the percolator. Like, what are we doing? It's time for the percolator. It's time for the fucking percolator. It's time for the percolator. Doing too much.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, goodbye, everybody. See ya. Let that. I always do that late. Let me see if I missed anything. Presenting. Did I miss anything, anyone?

Did I miss the question? Oh, yeah, charge your woman 3K to clean a fake baby's teeth. That's a good idea. Her real kids are old enough To not want anything to do with her Yeah, maybe Maybe Maybe maybe maybe

Maybe Let's see if I missed any on Twitter B, B, Bha, Bha, Bha, Bha, Bha Bha Bha Bha A hell no All right Doesn't mean Did I get any questions

Something from Merlogic on what's your take on talk about Nick Fuentes um I think I've talked about him enough the poop funnel I heard last week about the doctor giving you a funnel to help your baby fuck that noise get gripe water man I've fucking got gripe water day one who the fuck are you talking to I have Amazon app too on my phone yeah dickhead I know what dickhead and do crunches with their legs and move them around no shit do little crunches with their legs with their and move them around. No fucking shit.

You gotta teach him the percolator. Get it right out. That's that second one. You go like this, right? Yeah. And then you have to do the arms switch. It's this and then this, this, this, this, and then this, this, this. Yes.

This. This, this. But you gotta make it erotic. Well, that, and this room almost might be small enough to do it in, actually. It's like, it's like, it's like this. This, this, this, this. Is it like that? I think, well, I, dude, you know, for all these.

It's like this. It's a rotation. It's a rotation. It's like, hit. Uh, man, I got to re-watch it. I got to watch it again. For as much as I spent watching that and laughing my ass out. I didn't learn the percolator.

You got to do it slow, you fucking dickhead. You spent too long building it up. Okay. Yeah, okay. You're going to hit the percolator. I'll fucking do it. Hit it right. Hit it right.

Hit it right. Yeah, you got to, there's got to be a twist. twist action up there, up there, up there, up there, up there, up there, up there, up there, and then, yeah, boom, oh, it's a pump. Yeah, okay. It's like a double pump on each side. Oh, so it's four total.

Okay, it's pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. okay so the front the front arm goes up up yeah up up up yeah and then the way he did it too was up down you do the large instead of just the quick arm switch you do the full on like up whole switch yeah yeah up up I got to watch it again I know let's get the percolator right so that's let's get the percolator right time for the boom boom boom Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he does some kind of rotation as well.

Yeah. Okay. No, he swags it out, yeah. That switch is hard. That switch is hard. That's why he's telling us that we got to hit it right. It's that switch. She needs to get into more detail.

Okay. Let's, come on, come on. We have to get the percolator, right? The key to everything. It's the key to everything. No better time than the present for the percolator. Okay, I got this side. Boom, boom.

And then boom, boom. Right. Boom. Oh, okay. Okay, I think I see. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. Up, up, okay, okay, wait, here. So he goes, up, down,

Yes. Up, down, and then the switch is going, the switch is going up, yes. Down, up, down, up, down. Yeah. Up, down, up, down, like a percolator. Down, up, yeah, exactly. That's the key.

Like a percolator. Up, down, up, down, and then up, down. Yeah, and then you're going to swing your arms out more. Don't hit a camera. Then you've got to get wild with it. Yeah. Okay. Goodbye. see everybody