The Dick Show - Episode 477 - Dick on Henry Ford Fitness

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Trying not to wake the baby, Charlie Kirk's REAL funeral, a man re-invents fitness, sending kids down the slide when they are too young, a fat woman can no longer ride a bicycle, a man dates a Discord, no peeing on the astroturf, the resistence fighters of Ham Planet, "can you imagine if they did the same thing to us", and toe nails getting ripped off; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

everything is weird today okay incoming incoming let's go oh was there a was there a quarter percent reduction in interest rates ah it was all worth it I was all worth it then in that case Antoids is this is this working is it Rumble oh there we go okay is this is this working yeah that's on All right. Oh, that's working. Rumble's got all their resources dedicated to Charlie Kirk's funeral right now. They can't spare any for us.

That guy's dumb bitch wife, I saw her on the news today going, do I want the death penalty for the murderer? Well, I don't want to go to heaven. I don't want his blood on my hands. I don't want to go to heaven, and Jesus is like an eye for an eye. Is that how we do things? Yes. What do you mean that's from the Bible, you idiot? First of all, there's no goddamn heaven. You're not, that's not a real thing. Are you just saying that? Like, for the new, are you saying that for the news? I don't want to get to heaven. And the only thing that separates me from my Charlie is, then why any of this? If, why any of it? What, then are you happy? Oh, thank God. Charlie's in heaven. He got taken up to heaven early. I'm so,

fucking happy. This is the happiest day of my fucking life. Your husband just got shot by an assassin. I know. Literally things couldn't be better for me. He's in heaven right now experiencing eternal bliss and becoming one with the universe and all of humanity. And God,

the creator, all knowledge is his now and forever. He's filled in all the blank moments of every song ever written, ever mystery, ever created. He's totally at peace with the one, the self, and the universe. This is the greatest day of my fucking life.

Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? You know what I'm saying? Then why aren't you fucking thrilled then? Why are you fucking thrilled? If you really think that, or if you're just fucking grandstanding. Oh, I don't, oh, I don't, I don't want that, I don't want his blood on my hands. I fucking do. I swore I wasn't going to talk about this right away.

I swore it I can't Is this working It's working It's working But rumble is it? Oh it is Yeah

Welcome to Dick You want to Dick you need Dick You love Dick you got it The showrooms the contest Give me live from Mountain Bunker Deep in the hood of the city of failure I'm your host Dick Masterson AKA What are you doing?

You have the right power adapter for this Well it's not that one It's a new looking one It's over here Or something Here, here, here Here, here, here Here, here

Screen went dark on me Oh no, it dulled out on you There we go Fucking God striking me down I can't take it I cannot fucking take it So you want that guy killed That killed your husband?

No Did Jesus have a shut up bitch Commandment? Commandment number 11 Moses, hey Moses, you dropped This is me in the Moses time Hey Moses, you dropped one and it's me peaking up behind him and I got my own tablet

that I chiseled 11, crudely I chiseled it. And it says, God also Moses, you dropped this one, it says number 11 Shut up, bitch. Make sure you get that one out there. Shut up, bitch. The Zero with commandment. It's number zero.

Number zero. You guys won't get that before Arabs invent algebra and computers, but trust me, it's a banger, it's a banger. Trust me, it's a banger. Shut up, bitch, commandment, the zero. Yeah, that should just be inherently understood across the board. Did that guy just invent zero?

I think he fucking did. I think he fucking just invented zero. Negative number. Holy shit. That's going to be me. I'm going to go back in time and stop other races from inventing things. and there's some black guy Hey I think I just said hey everybody I invented the cotton chin

What's that? I just invented peanut butter too? My name is Guy Whiteman If you could put that down in the books I invented all kinds of stuff for peanut butter too Like a wax, toothpaste, engine oil for your car Ooh, did I say car? Wait, who invented that? Oh, friendship guy Never mind.

I didn't say, I said, Krar, something totally weird. God. Can we find that murder and kill him? Nah, because it might stop me from enjoying heaven properly. What if he kills somebody else? Yeah, but I really like, I'm really what I'm on is like my trip to heaven. Get the fuck out of here.

The only answer should be absolutely. Absolutely. God works at mysterious. You know what? God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes he will ice a motherfucker. Sometimes he will flatten out a whole fucking city that's fucked with him and disobeyed his fucking commandments. I am going totally crazy this week.

The doctor said, the baby doctor said that my son is the worst, quote, the worst she's ever seen for screaming and crying. My hearing doctor said, well, how much could a baby cry? You know, a couple of hours? I mean, 24, is that a couple? Jesus I've been counting on I started counting

on this hand when he's not every hour he's not crying here I'm at right here he's the fist they took a picture

of him put on the wall she said I got good news and bad news is he's the worst crying baby I've ever

encountered the good news is you get a free you get a worst baby ever I'm gonna knock

this piece of shit baby that was the last one I took this picture in 1995 damn I'm gonna take

kick his ass put him in the garbage, take a picture of your son and put them up there. I said, oh, that's fucking amazing, Doc, thanks. It's like living. Is everything working? There's all my fucking doodads and shit working. Yeah, that's working.

Everyone probably left because they're pissed at me for shitting on Jesus on Sunday. Oh, it is Sunday. It's Sunday. Is everyone, all the right male influencers are in church taking selfies of themselves to show that they're in church we're recording right

oh shit really oh you fucker so we're doing we're doing a silent place reenactment around here because it's not the risk of waking the baby

because he's the worst crying baby in the history of the fucking world and please don't help me Is that your shirt? Please don't help. Please don't help. Check this out.

I got a little preview for later, Johnny. Oh. This is a Reverend Scott sent this in. This is a jingle for Johnny's Brainrod. Let's hear it. Johnny's Brainrod corner. Let's hear this. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Thank you, Reverend Scott. That's awesome. How's that? Sounds cool, right? That's cool as fuck. So we're sneaking around. now to be extra quiet, you know, in my house is like, I don't know, my house has made

extra creaky. I don't know why. It's never been more apparent now, but every single spot in the house creaks like, eat or eat or eat. So, but still, we're trying to sneak around. You're living one of those Japanese torment games. What's that? Where it's like they film like someone in a house all day getting pies thrown in their face and they can't react to it. Otherwise, the punishment gets even worse. Yeah, I love those. I do too. Well, now you're getting to play one. I'm getting to play one Because you wake the baby up and then he screams for 19 hours

Oh god And it's worse than everyone else has it Okay now I have a medical professional confirming She's like if this gets any worse You gotta take him to the hospital Like why what could be wrong with it He goes no to put him down For euthanasia reasons

Yeah you take him to Canada There's a specialist there I don't think it's that bad It's bad though And I I have to do this sound therapy for my hyperacusus I couldn't believe the doctor fucking said he's like how's it going I'm like fucking horrible I got a nine week old baby who's the doctor said is the worst baby

that she's ever seen in her life and she's about 300 years old so it's so it's bad yeah that's really mean yeah and she was cheap so oh yeah she did it for the love of the sport I said it's bad he goes how much oh he's juicy how much good the baby cry two three hours no there's more hours than that bro he's like all right you got to do hypercues this very

shitty condition where your brain tricks itself into turning your turning your filter off in your head like you have a filter in your brain that automatically filters out like thunderstorms and shit that's why you can sleep through loud stuff that you know but then like if you hear like

if you hear like some if you hear a if you if you hear a if you You hear someone breaking into your car. If I could have heard someone breaking into my car. Do you hear someone messing with your car? And now you go, whoo, right? Or like if you fart at night, your wife's like, whoop, you know, wide awake, right? Your brain doesn't tune that out.

Cook your ass about it, too. Light your ass on fire. And then there's another thing in your brain that cranks the volume up. It's like, I didn't hear that. So you can focus and hear about more better. it's your brain's telling those things to turn off and crank up you crank all the way up you turn off so you can hear all the all the water in your ear that's always going around in there triggering your little hairs in your ear you can hear all that and it's cranked way up

anyway he says will you this the trick is the cure is you got to you got to train that stuff to go back down because something happened and it's all fucked up like all right so how do I do that and he's like well listen to static for six hours every day like that's it sure no problems everyone loves sound of static well just listening for six hours a day no problem it was the secondly you got to listen to music that you like you got to listen to four we're going to start off slow with four songs that you really like but you got to crank up the volume until it hurts and said so I have to listen on purpose to music that I like at a volume that hurts every day that's what you're saying it says yeah four of them I said

you got it doc let's because it's not really hurt it's not really hurting it just feels like it's hurting it's not actually causing damage which like it usually does when something hurts it's just uh feels like it said okay it's your brain's tricking you said okay i'll do it i'll do it so now i got this screaming baby right oh it's me it's me it's a horrifying scene with It's me with headphones blasting like Baker Street and

blasting fucking Baker Street and Fat Bottom and Mr. Fahrenheit Can't stop me now and Jessica like all my favorite songs

that like turned up way up trying to soothe the baby who's screaming in just silent mode like and I'm hearing in my ears and twas da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-tw And it's just like hurting.

It feels like somebody's taking a fucking high spick and into the side of my head. The baby is your avatar for all the pain you're enduring. This is not, this is not. I don't think this is an experience. This is not what it was billed like to me. Hurting. That's a bright song too.

And my wife comes in to tell me something. and I'm like, I know, just by looking at your face, I know you said it in an even more quiet way than you would have said it. She's just mouthing things to you. She comes in to tell me that the trash stinks. Like, I know, because it's full of diarrhea. I know the trash.

I know. I've been outside today. You can smell it all up and down the street. Smells like shit. Smells like rotting shit. I know. so I was trying to not wake up to baby because it's a worst baby that's ever lived

because if they get any worse they're killed and they get any worse they throw them they fucking Michael Jackson their ass they put them in the incinerator with all the full sharps containers at the end of the night whoops and these babies on Instagram they're all doing these exercises

like make sure you work on this I'm like I have never this motherfucker has never never done that do you have this fucker doped up like the tigers at zingfried and roy how did you get this guy to do crisscross legs like that they're like check out this book and the baby's like oh that's a hell of a book and i'm showing my son the book and he's like ah fucking macho man randy's everything's everything is a slim gym it's like ah so we're trying desperately not to wake the baby you know, if something's, if he's asleep, maybe in the middle of the night, and I get

the stupid idea I'm going to help out at night now, I go in, don't help. Don't help. I go into the nursery, remember my wife's watching the baby, every fucking time. Every fucking time, I go in there, you know, I open the door, and she

goes, and then baby wakes up, right? Who the fuck else would it be? So now, so now, you understand like do you see what I'm dealing with I'm like something's let me try to go help out she's been in there a while let me go try to help out

let me go try to help out right so I open the door I open the door and she goes oh you scared the shit out of me baby's awake right just trying to help out don't be helping people you can't help people it's my family I'm trying to help

I got to be like Charlie Kirk's wife Oh, fuck it. Let the murderer, give the murderer an award. Because I'm so fucking happy that my husband's dead and in heaven. I mean, do you believe in it or not? Right. Are you hedging your fucking bets or not? Is it just like a, is it like a psychological system that you have?

Like a superstition that you guys tell yourselves to feel better about the chaos in life? Or do you really believe it? Because if you really believe it, it's fucking give that guy, I'll suck that guy's dick today. fucking thing you can't kill yourself because you go to hell but some lunatic furry trans kills you halla fucking loo you right Rick and Morty hooray hey hey I can't believe I'm online now I'm like wait a minute wait a minute this shit doesn't wait a minute wait a minute this shit's not real what the fuck are you guys talking about you don't think it's real whatever I don't give a fuck

see i was gonna say it's like you're a cow walking into the fucking like like a cow on the side of the road or something just the gas you garter when you walk in and just get the like some horror like what like what the what the fuck is like rock in the road or something like no i saw horses on the side of the road like horses over there jesus fucking guy almost swerved in another lane so i go oh yeah yeah yeah with my wife yeah the same so i go in there and she goes oh oh that's what it's like scared me like an animal in the peripheral so now Now, last night, I go, I'm like, all right, no scaring, right? No scaring at all. I don't want this fucker.

The doctor just said he's the worst baby ever. Fucking cleaning ladies. Every Mexican woman has said four out of five Mexicans agree. Mexican women agree that this is the worst baby. Right, like a toothpaste commercial. Check out a little tiny. four out of five mexican women agree he's the worst he's the worst baby that's ever been el diablo some mexican woman knocked to the door yesterday yeah that's a

are you murdering a baby in there said no about to oh wow he's he's the worst that's the worst that's the worst i've ever heard then a baby i was like thank you goodbye so let me make sure this is working. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks, Antoids. I mean, what do they do besides, say, not kill criminals and Christians just piping, like, more immigrants

refugees into the fucking country? You guys could, like, relax. Why don't you keep it in house? Yeah. Don't you keep this nonviolent pacifism shit? Move the immigrants into your house, not just into America. You keep them.

So now, now last night I try one of these I'm like I'm gonna go help with the baby right I get to the door of the nursery and I'm like all right I'm gonna go I'm gonna go so silent and slow

there's no possible way for it to be for it to be startling at all right there's no possible way so I take the knob and I turn it like Mission Impossible you know so slow there's usually a click

when you those old you know those wabobob doors there's like two clicks and I went so slow that the click was even slow it went up and then went down over the whatever that is right it was more of a shush oh by the way I got a I'll tell you that on the adventure night let's do a bonus episode oh yeah

and I opened the door no squeaking at all and I'm so slow I'm crawling with like I'm not even stepping I'm like using my feet like a caterpillar like those Russian ballet dancers

this little shuffle yeah dun dun dun dun dun dun dun yeah blplop blah da da da Flintstone's fucking tap dancing yeah yeah

and I get over there and I say oh I get really close I see do you need a break and she goes what the fuck

what the fuck I thought you were some kind of a demon you came in so slow what the fuck is wrong with you you're coming in all quiet you're just appeared out of nowhere right next to me

what the fuck's the matter with you like what the fuck's what matter with you for 60 seconds I thought demons were real on this earth yeah that's really a fucking demon. I said, how? I'm not a fucking, there's no

demons, ever! Seems like great the baby's up, but now he's, I'm like, fine. I turn around and go to bed. Kick over another giant class of water! Dude, being a dad has been kicking your fucking ass, man.

You're gonna have one of those cartoonish, like big purple big toes, like fucking I made a tearing your hair out joke one time to someone who had a, you know, a pretty rough time at work.

And he goes, why do you think I have two little bald spots right here? And I went, oh, shit. Like, I just thought that was a pattern in male pattern baldness.

I didn't realize that was a default. Forest station active. You know my dad said? I actually don't. He said, oh, your son's, he's big enough, he's big enough to go down the slide. They got a slide at their house. They got like an old, like a wooden, like jungle gym and a plastic,

curvy slides. He's big enough to go down the slide. I said, he's fucking, is not. His head is still soft. What are you talking about big enough to go down the slide? First of all, he doesn't know what the fuck the slide is. That's, you're not big enough to go down to the slide until you understand the point of going down the slide the slide is for the slider not for you throwing people down

shit like a hamster put him on the side he's having fun he's big enough to go on the slide he said no and he goes uh i put you on the slide when you were about when you were that age about one i said what and he goes yeah there was this park we were walking around and i put you it was a winter up in washington i was like winter okay so i was one all right he goes yeah put you on the slide i thought it'd be cool i got up there and i put you on the slide and you went like you went way too fast oh you think and you shot off and you like dumped at the bottom of the slide and whacked your face like fuck man like what are you trying to trick me into doing the stuff you fucked up he's like yeah put him on the side then we're even yeah then it's even then you'll

then you did it too so then it's even to pass on the family curse how many of these things have you got stored up in there. Yeah. How many of these memories are you unloading? He's waiting until the statute of limitations is up and then he can start telling you shit that like you can't be mad about.

Well, it was like a hundred years ago. You can't be mad about that. Did you smell the trash out there? I did. I was wondering what the fuck was happening to your neighborhood. Oh, I'm going to go dump it on the nitrous noggins up the street at Kite Hill.

I was like, wow, this H-1B shit is really hitting your place, hard. Yeah. One of my neighbors put up a, um, they put up, they put AstroTurf in the front yard. Cool. Which is like, I don't know how, I don't know how many people have to believe that something is acceptable. Like if everyone started just going around with no pants, if enough people started going around with no pants, it would look weird if you were wearing pants, right? That's kind of where astroturf lawns are. They seem to be in the gray zone of,

I don't know if enough people are not wearing pants for this to be acceptable yet. I think you should remove this shit because it looks like you have carpet in your front yard. It looks like you have a miniature... Golf course. It's never the...

Look how real it is. I'm like, you can see this square foot patterning in it. Like, what are you fucking talking about? It doesn't look real at all. It looks like somebody dropped off a Home Depot load here. And it smells like piss that's been fucking sitting in the sun all there. So now the neighbors put up a sign that says, don't let your dog piss on this.

Essentially. Because there's nowhere for it to like drain and become part. So the dogs love it because it's always stinks like piss because it's piss on plastic superheated by the sun. Yes. In the California summer, winter summer. You have concentrated urea right there. And so, of course, every time the dog sees it, she's like, oh, yes, this fucking place.

Oh, let's get some, let me get some piss. Let me get some of the smell of piss. And I'm like, do you, um, some kind of Asian. I don't know what kind of Asian they are. Why person wouldn't put a sign like that? I don't think. Yeah. Don't piss on the astro turf that's outside?

Okay. Yeah, well, why is it outside then if I can't piss on it? Outside is a piss area. Mm-hmm. Anything outside gets pissed on Which is my point Do you think that the coyotes can read this Like this guy's fuming inside

About all the local dogs Sniffing it It's like do you know how many fucking coyotes Come through this place every night He's gonna get fucking eat and trying to shoo them all away one night They're peed on his rug I mean I get why he's upset They're peeing on his rug

Yeah but it's outside It doesn't tie nature together It's the problem so now every time I take the dog out it's like there's a section of and I got to worry about accidentally pissing on this guy's fucked up trashy looking

miniature golf course that he has out front yeah he might as well switch his house for a little trailer yeah just move a trailer in here buddy get the pink flamingos up get the white plastic fucking lawn chair get your wife nice and fat yeah yeah put the park the rusty car on top of it

Get one of those old 70s kind of lawn chairs that that guy took into space. Yeah. Yeah. Get like an old TV with a UHF dial. Fuck, yeah. Get, you know, go all the way. Yeah. None of this half-ass shit.

I got to worry about that. And there's some kind of craze of people are like pulling a carton arcs with putting dog shit in their trash. Now that's like a thing. people pick these things to to have personalities over it's like well I don't like when people put dog shit in my travel oh god

cool I'll put it right in your mouth that stupid asshole I'm the one with a bag of dog shit in my hand like you didn't know not to like you didn't think to back the fuck up for a little bit

I was already putting in your trash yeah this is a courtesy then I'm going to smear it on your trash um I hate it. Let's see what else is happening here. Let's see what's happening in the news. Pretty busy week. Busy week, man.

Here's some Venezuela is mobilizing elite reservists to resist imperialism and destroy gringo invaders. Is this real? I don't know. Somebody sent this in. Check this out. This is what they're training. Perhaps I should have saved this. this. This is a Venezuelan force.

Jesus. Look at this, the hamburger helpers are out. I think those are actual McDonald's Yeah. What did you say? Those look like actual McDonald's is like uniform t-shirts. Jesus Christ. Is that a real gun?

I hope not. Oh, she fell over at the end. What is this? God damn. She's shooting her food? She's shooting her food? The Uber guy, they're stationed around town. The Uber Eats guy comes like, take him out.

Yeah. Take them down. Intercepting all these meals. The meal interception squad. That's crazy. Elephant Seal Team 6. God damn. Weight Watchers is up.

Patreon.com slash the Dick Show. Weight Watchers 2. We'll have a Weight Watchers 3 in October, I think. Awesome. We'll be towards the end of October. I'm going to catch up on some bonus apps here. Cool. Yeah, let's do a bonus episode this week.

Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel was removed from TV or something? All right, yeah. It's too bad. Sorry, that happened to you. Yeah, I don't know what people... I don't know, man. Who gives a fuck, like...

Can you imagine? Oh, can you imagine if they did that to us? Yeah. Yeah, I can. I've seen it happen a couple times, yeah. I can imagine that, yeah. Case in point. I love the can you imagine crowd

because even their hypotheticals are not as bad as it was and is. Can you imagine if they banned us from late? We're already banned from late night. Could you imagine if they banned us from Twitter and YouTube and stuff? Yeah, we are. Could you imagine they, how about banks, do banks? What do you mean? Banned from banks and stuff.

Yeah, what bank can I sign up for? Can you imagine if they stole? Can you imagine if every state had fraudulent election? Could you imagine any of this stuff? It's a, it's a, it's a tyranny of the people who, I used to think this was stupid when I'd see it in movies. Like when I'd see a zombie movie and someone would get bit and they'd be like, someone would, they'd either keep it a secret or someone would say like, oh, I can't kill you. You're my, you're my wife or you're my mom or something.

It's like, he's bitten by a fucking zombie. They're going to turn into a zombie. You've got to kill, you got to shoot their ass. What is, well, I would sit there as a kid and go, what is this shit? They're, what is this shit? What are you doing? You're, kill them. It's obvious.

They're going to turn into a zombie and kill you. you. They're going to kill you. You gotta kill them. They killed all those people. That's what they do. They're telling you they're gonna kill you. You gotta kill them. Get rid of them. Throw them over the side. Do something. Don't just sit there. Now that I'm adult, I think, there's, that's everyone. That's everyone. Hey, everyone got bit by zombies. And no one did anything? None of you did anything about the zombie? Here's a, here is a, the Babylon B guy.

Oh yeah, comedians in support of comedy. A petition to support comedians. This one's pretty good. Seth, what's his name? Seth Dillon. I've befriended free speech, not the left. Treating my defense as the former is a defense. It's just all week.

It's all week. it's um the idea that we have all of these freedoms for us and that we had to kill the people who were trying to take them from us a lot of them has been totally lost to time i think that these people feel like the founding fathers and all up through the ages of everyone who's had to do a shitload of killing and um aggression toward everyone who wanted to take our rights away, this enclave of rights that we have and protected within our tiny little walls that grew and grew and grew, they've totally lost, they've totally lost sight of this. It's been lost to time. They think that the founding fathers all got

together and held hands and sang songs and stuck to quote unquote their principles, and that that somehow became enshrined into law and then became America, but it's just really childish, childlike, and stupid. Did ever think such a thing? Yeah, it's always been a violent place. It's always, it's always been, it's give me liberty or give me death. It was not give me liberty and give me death. It's, well, I'm taking my liberty, which means I'm going to fight you to the death for it.

Not, well, it's, you know, both of us have liberty, and so I guess if you're going to kill me, go ahead and do it. because we're both free to do whatever we want. Here's the statement by comedians on the cancellation of Jimmy Kimmel Live. It's a dark time for comedy and by extension for all Americans. Every culture needs humor. Oh my God, look at this.

Look at all these fucking comedians. I know some of these guys too. Look at all these funny people. Look at this hilarious petition. Sure, this isn't a giant posturing move at all. Yeah. Your principles for me, I tell you to abide by your principles for me, when I'm weak and then when I'm strong, I make you abide by my principles, which are the destruction of you. It's sad to see. A whole contingent people that are, I think they, I don't even know if they know what they're talking about. they're a

they're they've become a there's become an inversion of a reflection of what real actual values are actual values are well I value this so I'm going to fight for it and if somebody doesn't value it then there's going to be some sort of an alter case

there's going to be some sort of a conflict and who's ever you know whoever wins gets to do their values everybody that's how it works it's become a okay yeah I have these values, and you, you're the reflection of this, and I'm going to become an inversion of you, which is, I'm going to force myself to live, I'm going to only force myself to live

by these values. So, anyone who comes in and wants to take them away from me, I applaud it. Insanity. It's total insanity. It's total insanity, but it gets a lot of I guess, because people are so brainwashed into this sad, gratifying way of thinking that you can get anything just by hoping for it and praying for it. But that's not real. Well, that's because nobody's manifesting. So you forgot the part out where people need to manifest too. You can't just hope and pray. You must manifest these.

Oh, is it out of room? How long is it, did it stop? Just for a couple seconds. Just for a couple seconds? Okay. Can you Oh fuck I hate to do this No I didn't get an alert

So it didn't say it's full It didn't say it's full I swear to God it's full I'm sure it is See if you can clear up some room real fast Yeah I'll play a I'll play a video while you do

Uh huh uh Uh huh uh Uh Uh huh Uh huh Uh uh Yeah Here's uh

You can hear the baby Holy shit he's at a five right now. I'll play this slow motion this slow motion J.D. Vance funeral video while you delete things. You are deleting things, right? Yes. Okay. Just delete like one project. That should be fine. I think this is over-egged. I think this pudding is over-egged. I'm gonna say. Cool. Is it running?

It's running. It's running. We're running, but man, the pudding is over-ed. It's over-egged, right? This is a guy's dead body in there. And it's like the beginning of November rain. This is turning to an omelet with vanilla bean in it. Hey, uh, how did that H-1B thing

work out. Did you guys ever figure out? Because you said it was going to be, you said it was going to be 100,000 a year. And then the next day, the lady, the, the press secretary came out and said it was 100,000 only one time. So which is it? So which is it? Because I kind of, I get that you're not going after the murderers because, you know, your best fucking butt boy Jesus would get upset by that. But are we doing the H-1B thing either or what? We better be doing that H-1B thing. That was their fucking roller coaster of a fucking couple days, man. Can you believe that shit? I was like, wow,

we all get our jobs back. This would be great. There's no moving forward unless the enemies of freedom and liberty are destroyed. It's not give me my rights and please, sir. It's give me my rights. I'm fucking taking them. I'm unwinding every

piece of the propaganda and tyranny, Leviathan that you guys spent 60 years building from the Federal Reserve through Civil rights all the way up into the truth czar of Obama through um through operation choke point all of this stuff has got to go all of the rights that they take away have to be trampled in the opposite direction

as um as meticulously as and pedantically as well the FCC your FCC license is you're just violating the rules yeah is it is it kind of fucking bullshit yeah can you say whatever you want yeah but i don't really I'm sick and tired of paying for this retarded TV broadcast monopoly that is used by gigantic companies that are printing cash every year to use what I'm paying for to fuck me over. All of these, every single news network. Hey, tonight at 11, Dick Masterson is a fucking Nazi. Let's go take his money.

This guy's a fucking, this guy's a bad guy. He's the raises. Tell him to give us our money. It's my money. Well, it's for the good of everyone. It's for the good of... Don't you know? There's just things like freedom and it's for the good of every... No! I don't actually know any of that stuff. I'm tired of fucking paying for this. But don't you want disenfranchised black kids to go to college? Not really. I mean, when you said it in the 90s, it kind of sounded good. But now that I see it's just kind of a pipeline

for you guys to get liberals into the federal government, I see that it's actually really fucked up. No. I don't want to pay for that anymore. but don't you want the FCC you know to set up like TV broadcasting ban so there's not just total confusion like anybody could broadcast anything at any time I'll take the broadcast anything at any time

actually I would like you to go through and pedantically enforce the rules on every single thing that I have a dollar in and I don't care how what it looks like or how pedantic it is because I want my fucking money back that I want my fucking money back

number one and I want something, anything to knock these guys back so that it takes them more than four years to start fucking taking it again. Can you imagine, though? What if they get in the power and they kill you? Yeah, they will.

Been there, yeah. We were already there. Our guys, they're having a big fucking funeral on Rubble for our guy. I don't know if you guys didn't see that. That's upsetting. They're having a big slow motion funeral. That was actually real time. Trump and Vance taught the Secret Service.

just to walk in slow motion. You can tell by the way the flag moves. Fortunately, I brought something more upsetting in today, so... I got to put that thing on a loop. So good. Uh... We're at Netflix. He's got a weapon. That guy said. He's got a weapon.

Trake you, beat you. He's got a weapon. You guys can't use... You're bringing principles to a gunfight. It's not going to work. It's really not going to work. Part of growing up is being a bad guy. And if you want... Bad guy summer, dude.

It's the end of bad guy summer, the beginning of bad guy fall now. Bad guy fall. Bad guy fall. Fall. It's happy... It's bad guy fall, y'all. I just can't get over it.

this idea that you can have nice things and just not defend it you have to ruthlessly like can you imagine like what if we're uh so we're just so if someone kidnaps something someone we're just taking the kidnapper and we're putting them in jail aren't we know better than kidnappers ourselves yeah i guess i guess if that's the you're worse if you're allowing it to continue to happen yeah

Get that shit out of here Yeah it doesn't fit on a On a trucker hat Bud Life doesn't fit on a fucking trucker hat Yeah contrary to popular Would believe life is not a highway Uh huh

With a lot of really shitty decisions you have to make Huh these guys are kind of conspiring All together to fuck me over I guess we'll have to I guess we'll have to get a little bit more sophisticated On how we fuck with them back to preserve our way of life I think

I don't think punting it to God is going to work call me crazy well okay let me see slow motion yeah here we go the director of health

promotion and advocacy at Ball State University in Indiana has been fired after disgusting comment oh yeah about Charlie Kirk Let's see this one. At Ball State? The Director of Health Promotion, an advocacy was fired.

Uh-oh. That was... What? Did I read that right? Do I have the right link? Director of Health Promotion? Huh. Wow.

It's a healthy... The Director of Healthy Promotions, I thought I heard of Looming Foghorn in the distance. Jesus Christ This is from five miles away Yeah God damn Wow It's a big

Not the biggest health director I've seen But certainly one of them Definitely What is her example Don't be like me Yeah See me struggling to get up the curb healthy we gotta flatten out this curb here

we gotta put a ramp on this curb I'm telling you I was at the dispensary the other day yeah and it was their like you know eight year anniversary or whatever so they were like oh cool we're giving away all these great goodie bags donuts coffee all this shit went by

and there's this fucking fat lady with a walker and I just like oh no and she's way too talkative one of those loneliest fuck people yeah and you can tell and she's got Walker and she gets over the little like you know how there's that little like metal like transition plate between the door

and outside just to kind of like help close it off yeah so she goes over that and her donut falls out of her thing so she leans over to pick it back up farts on her way back like and I'm standing there in line just kind of like trying not to like okay I'm pretending to like look at my phone and shit yeah

and then she goes off the curb and she's talking to everybody oh I love donuts it's like it's my birthday today and it's like oh cool lady it's like great early in the morning still like just we just want to get weed and yeah and she goes off the curb and her donut falls again and the guy just kind of it's like here like let me just get you

another donut she's like oh thank you so much and she she parks her little thing her walker off the curb and she turns around everyone's like oh that's my convertible y'all don't steal it anybody so she walks perfectly over to go get this donut I'm like well then what the fuck do you need to walker for yeah grabs this donut

sticks it in her mouth so she doesn't drop it while she goes on the curb steps off the curb and rolls her ankle and rolls her ankle. And it was like, are you fucking serious right now? Like, we're, you know, this could have been a quick affair turned into a fucking 20 minute ordeal. Yeah.

Now she's sitting on a curb and they're trying to ice in. There's people try to get in the storage. It's a half, you know, very unhealthy. Very unhealthy. It's very unhealthy. Well, see, it was the donut that was the cause of it all. If she would have just, you know, not had the donut and made a healthy choice. Totally not.

We need some cops. Woo. Excuse me, ma'am. Are you stumbling around while fat? Are you eating while fat? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. The real kicker would be, are you not stumbling around while fat? You're not stumbling around while fat there, man? What do you want? You can focus that much. Yeah. Yeah. You want Osimpic? Yeah. Are you on some Ozimic there, ma'am? Are your teeth still all in your skull? Let's give a knock on your skull. Man, these fat bitches, man. Out of control. Out of control. Well, and that's the thing, too, is I realize the loneliness level goes. up as the age increases too so then everyone becomes like oh you remind me of my son or my nephew or my grandson or whatever

and it's just like lady you got to get the fuck out of here like there's got to be a service to pair fat bodies up because we got an abundance of them oh like pear is like P A-I-R I was thinking like the fruit pair up P-A-I-R up that's the name of the app

we'll match a fat body with you and it comes with some sort of a harness that you can use to have intercourse. Well, you can find similar weights, right? Instead of height. Oh, yeah. To match you up by weight.

Yeah. Yeah, like you're a 6XL in women. It's like you're a ranked score, right? Ooh, you can fit in like tier three or tier two. How do they have attraction at that level? Like, there's just a monomorphous blob. How did, there's a lot of questions, yeah. There's nothing to be attracted to.

Right. And again, you always have to remember if you, dealing with someone who can't reach back and wipe their own ass right with their hand yeah a wand ain't gonna do a better job a wand that fucking you have zero do the smells mingle together i wonder well i'm sure you must think of all the skin contact right and the sweat throughout the day just from existing

it's a foul state of affairs my friend here he is seth dillon you'd have to kill me to get me to stop defending freedom yeah that's the idea dude yeah like that's what they're doing I mean, that's what, that's the wrong way to think. I'll kill you to defend freedom. You're coming in here, fucking everybody up? I mean, what kind of thinking is this? What exactly was like, what exactly is being an American to you?

Wild West shit. What's Shane about? Shane, you got to help us. These evil cattle ranchers are fucking around. They own everything. Like, well, it's their right. That's capitalism. And I'll defend.

I'll have to be dead before I trample on their on their rights to cattle ranch with impunity yeah what an asshole one man decided that it was necessary

to stop Charlie Kirk and look how spectacularly that backfired he's dead this is he's dead in the fucking ground I feel like I'm I feel like I'm the only one

that like sees this anymore He didn't, it didn't, these guys are phrasing it like, look at this big turnout at this stadium. See how his message is growing? He's fucking dead. Yeah. The guy, the point of life is not to have a message. It should not be dead. Funny how that works. These are basics. His voice is louder. No, it's dead. His message is amplified. I guess. We don't lose by sticking our principles We lose by abandoning them No, you win by winning

I just hate that like everyone feels the need to weigh in on it Yeah I mean I know we're doing the same thing But it's like it's like But I'm this comedian and here's me being very serious about it and it's like Oh yeah yeah It gives a fuck like I didn't even ask you I don't even

No no one asked any of these people what we should do is just stick our heads in the sand and take our pants off so the raping is smooth raping goes smoother oh here's a good one let's see white mass liberal retards are trained to fight back against ice agents ice agents are doing fun stuff a destiny fan gets fired and wants to debate his boss that's pretty funny debating your boss yeah that's just yeah a destiny a destiny viewer got fired from his job for making Charlie Kirk assassination jokes on TikTok. He's now trying to challenge his boss to a debate on stream.

Let's see. Something about the shooter. Oh, he got fired from Ashley Furniture. Yeah. I would think that's probably... That's a job worth debating your boss over, you know? Ashley Furniture, Global Furniture Store based out of Wisconsin, fired me after finding my TikTok, making a joke about the Kirk assassination.

I was in IT, and the head of IT is the founder's grandson, Cameron Wannick, giant Nepo baby. These guys, they're nuts. terminally online oh he's terminally online oh I'm not sure who asked to fire me but HR said it came from way up top perhaps it was God

I decided to email Cameron and see if this nonsense has any weight to it I doubt I'll get a response but I think my argument is quite sound what do you think I'll argue with these fucking weirdos I'm no stranger to a debate if my words about Charlie Kirk hurt so much that you had to fire me therefore holding me to a

higher standard than your president. May I ask for some severance in the form of dialogue. Talk to me on a stream or in a public discord about this situation. Following Charlie's footsteps and find me in the marketplace of ideas and explain to me how it makes sense to elect a demon who encourages political violence, but you fire a man making $20 an hour for a joke. Dear Cameron, you're an intelligent man, correct? I would like to think the VP of technology at the second biggest furniture selling company in the world would be an extraordinarily intelligent man. Well, if the answer is yes, I would like you to make a case. I would like to make a case. I would like to make a case to you. This is not a plea for my job back. I just want you to seriously think about the precedent

you're setting. That being said, this email will have a very fun language because I don't care about being professional. I think getting fired for a joke is absolute pathetic bullshit. After a conservative broke into Nancy Pelosi's home with the intention of kidnapping her and torturing her, Donald Trump spoke it around. Oh God, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I'm like, what's there to debate? Like, they should have just fired you for being so verbose. Because they stuck us in debates forever. God. They told, now that we're not debating them and just steamrolling them, they're losing their minds.

Yeah. Like, well, but you guys have to debate. No. Okay. That's funny. Yeah, you have to get the fuck out of my office, asshole. Here's some people training to resist ICE agents. This is pretty good.

Okay. So this is like a group of protesters. They're practicing, like, moves to resist federal law enforcement. If there's a scuffle, here we go. So she's got a war reenactment for the future. Lightning Bolt. She's got her purse on here. They're both masked for some reason.

And she's shoving him. Yeah, put the purse down Oh wow Does it look like fun? God I hate him I'm crazy I love Nazi

Wow Yeah, that guys just there for Yeah, I guess just They're being honest Oh, is he role-playing as an ice agent? Yeah. Well, he thinks that's how they're going to shove. He's just in there, like, actually saying these things.

He's training her on how to take a shove from an ice agent? I think they're going to shove a little harder than that with their fucking SUV. I think I might have a clip of them doing a shove. Let's see. Oh, yeah, this fat lady got put it. in a chokehold how many people did it take this one is not enough look

see that's not comfortable she is couldn't get it around god he's digging his watch into one of her chins there he's got at least another foot of travel before he even pinches her trachea yeah that's not she's like another day at the office right there yeah

okay that's pretty good now here's a fat lady gets shot with pepper balls trying to season her up this woman thought yeah ice facility of Chicago okay let's see where's the fat lady

oh her oh I thought it was the one of sirens the woman is that siren coming from the woman oh that's what oh okay oh no no no no what are they doing

oh Oh, shit. I don't see that again. She did the first fat people thing, and she pulled her skirt. You know, you always have to pull whatever article of clothing to hide your fatness. I like this Mexican woman. No, what are you doing? No, what are you doing?

No! Yeah, shoot her The peaceful protest They're fucking lighting her up She's on the ground Sitting there like a toddler Being fat Oh man

Yeah send those guys out to L.A. Wow I don't think the shoving training worked look weevils wobble man Jesus You idiot All right Here is

Here's some cops in the UK Taking a kid's phone Let's see here Oh man Death This is what death looks like Knocking on your door Jesus

Oh okay So this teenager This teenager was made a fake profile on Twitter so these cops came over to take their phone I guess sorry I don't like the camera

you can exhibit that to me I just don't like a camera really okay well I'm doing this because this is my own house and I am telling you why I'm doing so I just need to know why why would she she's basically viewed a post which is not an arrestable offence yeah okay

this is a cop this It looks like she reads Tiger Beat, man, if this showed up, if these cops showed up my house, I would just close the door and shoot myself in the head. Do that shoving technique, yeah.

I say, nah, that's good. I'll just take myself out. Yeah, we've fallen too far. I don't need to trouble you guys. You can just drag, you can try to drag my fat corpse out of here. Mm-hmm. The only thing is about

we need to seize the phone at this current moment. Yeah. She's wearing this, like, towel thing? So have you seized anyone else? Is she the only child you're picking on? Have you spoken to anyone else? No, we'll come to the station now.

God, but we got, we gotta get Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. These coughs act like the fucking people who like charge you for sauces of a drive-to. Like, bro, it's not coming out of your paycheck. Like, just throw it in there. Like, what do you do? I saw the sticker that says extra sauces cost more. Just do it. Just put it in.

Yeah. I didn't realize you had to pay for all those yourself. Oh, wait. Yeah. That's right. Fuck out of here. Fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here with all this shit.

Okay. I can't wait for Johnny's brain rock corner. Oh, dude. Like I said, I got some bangers and some real upsetting things today. Okay. Not Nick says that lady tech taking her dolls to the dentist. It was absolutely. insane. I need to see more of what this woman's life is like. Do you remember her name?

No, but I have a message me and I'll send you the account. Okay. Matt C says once kids talk, they'll embarrass you. Once when picking up my two-year-old from daycare, we were walking back to the train station to go home when an Aboriginal girl came walking the other way. I didn't know they were learning colors at daycare that day. So with his whole chest, he blurted out she's black right to her face while pointing was awkward as fuck another time an ex-girlfriend told my son that my warhammer figurines were adult toys and that he shouldn't touch them naturally the next time we walked past an adult store with a sign he blurted out oh wow daddy has a bunch of adult toys at home for all to hear on the street probably because he's raping it molesting is I mean, this is a good cover story for... Yeah, he did say Warhammer, so you know. Yeah.

Anyway, enjoy the silence crying while you can. I would take absolutely anything over the crying. Walk around saying the N-word all day. Preferable to this. Unrelated, I DM'd you a lame, poorly timed Maddox joke on Twitter. Copped a ban. Okay, I don't know. Yeah, sure.

David Loll. Dick, feel free to read this on the show About 10 to 12 years ago You listed your favorite cigars on TDS I started smoking them myself and wanted to know If you have any new favorites or recommendations No, I don't know anything about cigars Just get like a variety pack

That's what they always tell me to get a variety pack And see what you like I would love to get a variety pack But It's not really in the cards right now I'll let you know in 18 years Whoa Worst in Mob

What does this shit say? Worst in mob? Oh, the worst in the MLB. Oh. Oh, okay. Oh, this is... Worst in the MLB. This is the new Jen Powell umpire in the MLB this season

with a correct call rate of 90.45% per umpire. So the first woman umpire has the worst call rate. in the MLV. Huh. Huh. Hmm. You don't say. You know, I heard that women's eyes

are set further apart so they could like, for reasons. So they can use binoculars better? I heard that their eyes are far apart. I was at a men's meeting, I think. and someone brought this science in that women's eyes are further apart

so they could see more vegetables or whatever or more like prey eyes, you know? Like men's eyes are set for hunting and women's eyes are just slightly different so they're more far apart and it means that they can't see shit that was the point

that and I thought that explains everything but then how the fuck again do they see animals and shit on the side of the road because all they're all they're seeing is everything

peripheral yeah when you and I are looking at stuff we're seeing what we're looking at but when women are looking around they just don't they see everything all at once like a fly or a piece of shit

furthest point ahead in the road right and if that's clear I can keep going I gotta look that up if it's true because imagine that you're like this as a man but then take your bono

fingers and go like this and that's how they see like sloth or Britney Venty they're like this looking like this man see that's why they're fucking everything up so much that is that's crazy that makes a lot of sense because it comes up like everything in life you're like why are you like that why do you need why do you need the couch cushions to be straight all the time it's because they can't see they have to see everything at the same time

right not just the television or their phone right how do you always see that there's shoes in the middle of the room full picture viewing it's always IMAX and then you're like well how come you can't drive

because they're always seeing everything you know the road's going like coming up a weird angle and they're trying to drive like this and then they're trying to be umpires

MLB 90. 90% that's horrible what's the normal rate terrible tolerances what's the normal rate of umpires 100 uh

what's the normal rate what do you think the normal rate is one out of 10 calls well that's yeah that's 90% that's a lot of fucked up calls how many calls are important in a baseball game like five I feel like most of them right

well but yeah god that's a lot that's way too many fuckups they should at least fuck up less than the players you think the umpire would well at that point you're like staff so you have to be like a you have to be good as just like a neutral

default right yeah like you're supposed to be more of an NPC and then let the players do the thing yeah not go up there and fuck up one of every 10 calls they should just have computers doing it that would make it more exciting if there was no umpires out there

you know pitching a catching machine yeah just like just players and then some kind of a voice of God like just the scoreboard so everyone would be looking at the scoreboard and they would have a panel of like scientists and shit and AI looking at every play

They could have a holographic Vin Scully walking around too Following you Yeah that would be cool Like a ghost runner They could have like a ghost runner running to first Like Mario card He's chasing the fuck out of you

Makes everyone run faster Like a ghoul Yeah Halloween baseball He's gonna jump on you and fucking eat your soul Out in front of the whole stadium So you have to make the next plate Yeah, that would be cool Scared the shit out of me, yeah

Like a predator Or goolies Crawling out of the toilet Vince Gooly Yeah Vince Gooly A zombie Vince Scully Yeah

Chasing you around Topping his head up out of the outfield He's about to pitch And then he comes out of the mound And starts dance Tap dancing on the pitchers head and shit. Yeah, that'd be cool. Why don't they do that?

Man, if they had a... Instead of this woman umpire shit. Who is this for? It's for PE teachers around the world. Look at her, man. Oh man, I feel bad. I feel bad, but like you can't call the game.

So, what are you doing? Get out of there. We need to stop celebrating mediocrity. If you're bad at your job, you gotta go quit get rid of them get fucking fired look at this cop man this cop showing up can i see your twitter this yeah let me see your twitter you see your tits what are you talking about let me see your twitter fuck you it's all just fart sounds what the fuck oh man we got to do something we got to we got to shut down all these late night tv hosts or some brigand of a brigade of

teeny boppers is going to be dragging us into prison we will be enjoying prison Riley Petty John Johnny's Corner is a great bit It's time for the percolator Oh man I've been fucking percolating all week man Not Mothman

I've never thought I'd hear the phrase bootleg necromancy What was that about? It's about The somehow The AI Angels but the somehow Oh yeah The one from D decals

Who made it somehow a little worse A cheaper imitation If you will They dressed up Charlie Kirk In a white A pink Cadillac A white Cadillac Like Boss Hogg from

Dukes of Hazard And Trump and J.D. Vance And Vivek are carrying him down The aisle He's propped up with a cowboy hat on Did you see it? Did you watch it? No that's this funeral? I was watching it

God damn And they had his face stapled it like this like a smile and he's going like that man it was pretty cool sounds pretty cool and his wife was sitting in the

driver's seat the only thing I give a fuck though is did he hug her and did he turn and walk into heaven and grow wings because if he that didn't happen then doesn't count they just had Jesus in there it didn't follow the form of man I've had it with Jesus representations

right I just want to see a hug wings walk to heaven. The three core tennis. And they had him running into heaven. It was too fast. Too fast, yeah. Not enough dramatic R&B either.

Like, imagine if, like, at the end of Lord of the Rings, all the hobbits in Kandolph ran to the boat. Like they were filmed on fucking Super 8 or something? Yeah. That would be great, Benny Hill music and shit. That's why they do the slow-mo one. J.D. Vance, like, we got to really slow it. That should have been even slower.

It should have been, like, 10 hours. yeah super slow my funeral it's so crass and stupid the only thing i don't know why but just like i just thought of the same thing but someone's substituting in all like the halo characters instead i don't know why that's bastard chief and the bad guys do the covenant is that what they are the aliens like i never played halo but just like for whatever reason it just seemed like that's the only thing that could make it like a tiny bit wait what about that one with all the superheroes where they're like going like this to the doctor the COVID doctors remember that oh that's right

oh my god I fucking cracked the vaccine code did you yeah I had to get my kid my kids vaccines started hmm I was really stressing about it for like a month because I get all this conflicting information of course most people just do it whatever California have to do everything eventually anyway so like what's the fucking point right but at least you try to delay it as long as possible. Like, I fucking know, I fucking know Hepatitis B is fucking retarded. I'm not getting that fucking vaccine.

The day, I'm not getting a birth time vaccine of hepatitis B, and then a one month vaccine of hepatitis B, okay? I didn't get a real ID until I absolutely had to. Yeah, and you don't! I went to, I, uh... Get the fuck out of here.

I flew to fucking Philly. Oh, my God. This week, and I forgot it. And I was like, fuck, should I go? I was at the airport, and I thought, fuck should I go home and get my passport my wife's stressing out she's like should I bring you your passport so you can make the flight

I walked in through my ID as you goes this is not a real ID I said yeah no shit and you goes okay here's a piece of paper that says you suck it was like a piece of paper that said if you don't get a real ID it's going to delay it might delay your flights where the fuck was that when we went to bomb

I know I just had to take my shoes off that was my punishment oh okay I had sandals it's like really you're punished I don't have a real These are going to take my fucking sandals off. Okay, whatever. That really pisses me off.

So I made my own vaccine chart. I'm like, all right. This sucks. Because when I looked at what vaccines I got when I was a kid and it was like none. I said, ugh. Great. Okay. So kids now is like, Hep B zero, heavy one month.

All these was like four at a time. Four at a time. I said, no, no, no, no. this is not I don't I don't think so I've got enough problems with this fucking kid already no and then somebody told me that the special case they give you one right when you're born they're like that's just for bleeding if you get a circumcision okay so I said all right I asked the doctor what do you recommend she goes with the CDC guidelines said okay that's out this is what this is my menu

this is what I want to do basically the same basically you know no get rid of some of these get rid of the Indian ones we don't live in India get rid of these just take the ones that are normal ones that are two through

and split them up and she looked at it and she goes yeah there's actually somebody here that doesn't believe in the happy one I said ah I fucking knew it I knew it I knew it and she goes okay

all right okay I'm looking at this okay one thing though I do recommend I really recommend you get the RSV vaccine in October. And I said, ah, ha! So there is, so there is a, there is a real recommendation that you have. I knew it.

I fucking knew it. Because if I went in and if she said, yeah, that's fine, I would have said, fuck, there was something else I could have taken out on there. Right. Right. Aha.

Aha. Gotcha. I gotcha. That's a good. That's a good one. I gotcha. Okay. Okay.

I'll do the RSV then. No flu or COVID during that shit Yeah, get that out of here Get that out of here Um Gentleman sausage says This is not the first time a guy With long hair and a beard

screamed at people for doing something They shouldn't be doing in a church, true Jay Rod says Hey Dick, I'm the guy who was asking for advice Making his friends in the city Who became very zen And extremely gay After quitting his job

unfortunately that state of serene inner peace that I wrote about in my last email is gone and you might be surprised to hear that it's because of a woman I met her in a discord server you mean him yeah you mean a him with a penis right and typing that I realize how fucking retarded I am she had a boyfriend knew she was going through a rough patch with and our chats quickly became daily intense flirting she fell madly in love with me I held out for several weeks. Oh, man.

Women praying on guys like you. Man. He escaped the Matrix just to fall right back into it. Out of the Matrix, into the womanatrix. Trying to beat the system, man. But caught feelings in a moment of weakness. She felt madly in love with me. I held out for several weeks, but caught feelings in a moment of weakness.

What the fuck does that mean? she fell madly in love with me it's on a fucking discord bro what are you doing on discord get your ass off discord if you're in zen what do you do in online you get one or the other everyone delete your discords

but caught feelings in a moment of weakness what that's not how it works what you mean all those moments to tax that bitch back motherfucker like a moment of weakness yeah that's like your weakness was going on discord

to begin with and then getting involved. Yeah. What do you, what does the shirt say? So please don't help. Don't help. Don't help yourself either. You seen those videos online where they roll like a glass jar down the stairs? And then it goes like, chunk, chunk, chunk, ch' ch' ch' ch' ch' ch' ch' ch' ch' ch'ch.

That's the moment of weakness. That is the least offensive glass jar breaking video I've seen on the internet. Yeah, but it's fits. Oh, I fell in love in a moment of weakness. Yeah, but you were going Kachunk, kachunk, kachunk, kachunk, kachung. Yeah, you just made it further down the stairs

than you thought you would have. Mm-hmm. However, my conscience got the best of me. And when she tried to send me nudes, I told her we should stop talking for a few weeks and go back to being friends.

Are you fucking who? What are you thinking you're talking to? You got to bang that fucking gavel on him. This guy's fucking retarded. You're fucking retarded, bro. fucking guilty you are guilty of being retarded

what are you talking about you are using terms if I have to hear about this asshole's truth and his journey next it's a wrap fucking retard gavel yeah

you're cooked for that we should go back to being friends bro what the fuck that's what the that's what the Trojans said you know I bet we could be friends with the guys on that horse let's invite them in

Bro is just like You know what My steak is a little too juicy My lobster is a little too buttery Maybe I should just go ahead And fuck this all up for myself And be a big fucking retard But I lost control of my emotions

Once again While drunk And told her I had made a huge mistake What are you doing? We're gonna break this fucking gavel pad Before the fucking episode's over We That is fucking a retardant.

What are you fucking doing telling her I made a huge mistake? Bro. What are you talking about? Man. My God. Unreal. That was... Oh, my God.

She's over there, like... Jumping in the boat. Yeah. Fish jumping in the boat. You're having a... fucking crisis and emotion just a out of control emotional crisis never were you in control of your emotions it's like with a tom and jerry cartoons when he sticks the gun in the tree the hole in the tree and it comes out right at the top and shoots him right in the face here's a sign that you

are in control of your emotions your discord inbox has about infinity unanswered messages on it hey what did you think of my messages i didn't read it why because i'm in total control of my emotions I don't fucking read this shit Man What is it with these people Man They like to They like to play with fire

They get off on it He's in a fucking novel Romance novel Jesus I can't Girl I can't see your tits I got to step away for a few weeks I'm going to war

I need to step away and think about those titties I can't see them yet I need to have inner peace with myself a thing we never find right that's the big joke like oh I need to do this to find inner peace I mean unless you're fucking Charlie Kirk's wife and it's the greatest day of your fucking life

that fucking husband is in heaven at least there's one of us out there who thinks you know one human who totally fucking retarded this is fucking insane just fucking stupid not even in like a Reddit atheism way just in a fuck you way shut up shut the

fuck up. What you're saying is fucking stupid. What you're saying is fucking stupid. When he wrote in last... He was flying around with Jesus. Oh! He just got the wing cap or something in fucking Mario 64. Like, come on. Does it look retarded with the AI's doing?

Because that's what you guys have been saying. Yeah. That... Well, so when this guy wrote in last time, he's like, you know what? I found inner peace. I found all this shit. I'm like, that's like the kind of, like, that weird inner piece people get before they commit suicide. it's that like oh I got all my fans in order I gave all the things I borrowed back to people like I'm like totally free now and it's like

oh oh oh you're supposed to be free you're supposed to be obligated to people that's called socialization life don't work by a Buddha's rules you need to be wanting things man uh however my conscience oh yeah yeah we kept okay I told her I made a huge mistake oh man now she's got all the hand bro now she knows that

she can take herself away and control you completely. You fucked up. Dunzo. We keep things going for a while after that, but it got tedious and annoying talking to her every day. You fucked it, dude.

You fucked it up. Oh, sorry. This email was from every man who's ever existed, it says. Fuck. We kept things going for a while, but it got tedious and annoying talking to her every day. And then one of the people,

us died. Oh. Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. Unsurprisingly, it also just wasn't working and I didn't really like her anymore. Are you talking about fucking Discord still? Or are you talking about real life? So I cut things off. Obviously, I fucked up

in many ways, but was there ever a viable path to pussy here? Yeah, not doing any of ever. Dick in a fucking USB port. What are you talking about? I just love that he's like, what could I have done to prevent this? Like, not You know, the best way to play to win the game sometimes is not to play.

You can't. War games. War games, right? Yeah, the best way to win is not to play. You just, well, because they ran, like, I saw this thing one night trying to fall asleep, fucking, you know, on the dregs of YouTube. And they ran this simulation with Golden Eye. I think it was Golden Eye Perfect Dark. Okay.

And they were like, okay, let's hyper train these guys to get the highest score. Yeah. And every time, it ended up after however many hours. or whatever the fuck by all of them standing perfectly still they all got the highest score that way what and golden eye yeah how does that work because it's all zero

otherwise like one of them it was this whole fucking stupid exercise there scores in golden eye from what I recall yeah I thought it was just rocket kills that's the only score I ever keep the only thing man I wish I had that this was a laptop gun right here

and I could type in and just blow me the fuck away right now oh man the last time I played golden I was with Randy who he fucking won and I'm bitter I'm so angry and bitter about it that's the one game I would never play against Randy

and I was winning and I he fucking beat me in the end I'm so angry about it fucking Randy man yeah fuck Randy I can't wait to get the text two weeks from now when he's listening to this

what the fuck was that all about so still I think about it all the time I'm gonna start thinking about that all the time too. Was there ever a viable path to pussy here? No, because it was a man that you were talking to. Should I have flown her out as soon as possible

instead of drawing it out? Flying bitches out, dog. I mean, that's cool if you have a lot of money. If you're... You don't got that kind of disposable income, my guy. If you have zero bitches and your only path to salvation is flying one in, don't, don't do it.

You're done. Don't do it. Go make friends. Go start over. you made a move back to the city you made a wrong turn wrong turn at Albuquerque right yeah go back to the city retrace your steps try a different city load a save that's further back

try to work your way forward again yeah there were too many variables to juggle and I couldn't control my emotions well you were right by bailing yeah you just did it wrong

or else you could have been that shooter like that's what happened to him all his fucking discord's the devil man i'm gonna fucking kill this guy for you so it all came tumbling down well good job could have been worse p.s i still haven't gone back to work okay maybe found the problem yeah maybe go back to work maybe maybe embrace some advanced spiritualism right coffee and cigarettes god yeah i'm gonna have some cigarettes today. God.

I wake up every day telling myself I'm going to have a cigarette and every day now that I have my car back I'm going to take a

whole pack and just pan flute them on the drive. I'm going to rip off the front, the back and just smoke

that whole fucking little cigar to yeah. I'm going to look like an in fucking pan flute master driving on the way home.

Bro, do they have like a like an attachment that you can put on the bottom of a pack of cigarettes so you can go like a harmonica

them all? I think. People have been 3D printing ones Where you could put like a hundred cigarettes And like a it's like a hundred into one thing So you smoke one mouthpiece And it's like I got the whole fucking car 64 pack of crayons hanging off the end

Um Thanks and go fuck yourself Yeah That pisses me off They want us dead Hey Dick, Bello here When you used to say that liberals hate you And want you dead

I thought you were just being funny And hyperbolic as usual But after the whole Charlie Kirk thing My eyes have been open they do want us dead yeah even when it's just the most milk toast conservative stuff they see us as nazi demons that are irredeemable i don't i don't even know if they believe that i think they just like want us i don't know what it is i really don't well it's the creation of the other right or the othering of people yeah maybe that's it this is this person disagrees with me therefore

there are all the bad things i don't like in this world so they're not a person to me and if they're not a person that I don't have to like think about like the shit they have to endure and it's like yeah man like you're these people you think are so fucking bad also think you're just as bad but you're actually worse because you really believe those things you think yeah I don't know like I I loved when Nancy Pelosi's husband got hit with a hammer I thought that was uh hilarious but he's a bad guy yeah getting hit with a hammer always funny regardless of who you're like that's that's tight Yeah, Ruth Gade against, I'm trying to go through all the deaths, usually I'm pretty pro death when it, uh, I mean, I didn't really even care about the Charlie Kirk thing. Like, it sucks, it's shocking, but what am I gonna, you know, feel about it? I got out there. How's the H-1B shit going, you know? That's, am I still paying taxes? Oh, yeah, okay. So yes. Um, yeah, no, it's, they want you, that. But they really.

are like seething, but I'm kind of an exception on the other side in that I like it. Yeah. You know? They're just seething with hatred, like murderous seething hatred on the liberal side. Students, women, regular women,

frothing at the mouth, like, yeah, fuck him, he deserved it. It's all these powerless people, man. Yeah, that's what it is. it is they're like someone stood up for something i believe in it's like you don't believe in anything though like what are you talking about they hate that they do hate that somebody stood up for something they believe in yeah they do hate that he did that yeah maybe it's like a reflection on themselves that they they could have been you know beloved and have a wife and family and stuff

if they did something they could have had a voice that would have been heard too yeah that's important to people which it never should be it's like the invention of social media is yeah Like, not everyone deserves the voice. Yeah. I know that I'm an outlier on my side. On our, I'm, you know, my side. And I know that they're not on their side. I know that much.

They're all part of the biomass of it all, man. They see us as Nazi demons that are irredeemone. I think you're right. They just see you as others. And it wasn't just the usual loons. It was a lot of people I used to think were sensible. I was probably a moron for thinking, at least you guys are better than those guys.

no I was wrong yes you were wrong they're all like that and that's pisses me off maybe that's why I'm an outlier on this side because I do think that they're all like that have always thought that even as a kid

because you can sense that you can sense their seething hatred that they have towards you and all that fairness shit in all of like the fairness and don't hurt people's because I love hurting people's feelings that's the only thing that's funny Yeah, I've always loved it even when I was a kid

And when I was a kid When I would get in trouble for hurting people's feelings by adults I could sense that like seething hatred that they had Toward me for doing it Well, it's like everyone wants to be the president of HOA You know? Yeah If I just made the world into my perfect vision Then everything would be great

It's everyone else's problem And it's like no, you're the fucking problem Yeah Like everyone like all those people are actually fat Yeah And stupid And gay and retarded too That came later.

Yeah, that was out. After we learned those words. No, that was wrong, and that pisses me off. And you know things are messed up when Nick Fuentes comes out, looking like the most sane and empathic one towards Gossens and Kirk. Thank you so much for introducing me to Jesse Lee Peterson. Go fuck yourself. You're welcome.

Okay. Let's do a little thing, Cole. Oh, shit. Let's do a little thing. Should we indulge ourselves? Hey! Thanks, Reverend Scott. Well, man, we are in for some stuff today.

Some real rod. Oh, man. Like I said, I was telling you before the show, I don't know if I recorded this, but this week's list comes after several different edits. Oh, okay. This is, so I guess we'll get started with the Henry Ford of Fitness. Now, what do you think this is? could mean.

Well, Henry Ford, he revolutionized the assembly line and he hated Jews. Okay. That's what I know about Henry Ford. Unfortunately, it's not really, he kind of touching it with the first one. This is, I guess,

would file into revolutionary. Okay. Let's see. Does he have a jackoff poll here? I am no bodybuilder. I'm just a 51-year-old senior. He's just a 51-year-old senior. The new method to build muscle faster and cheaper and easier.

My name is Juan, but you can call me the Henry Ford of Fitness. I am not going to build there. So here's the thing. His whole account is he makes different exercise machines with these springs and these metal bars. He made a push-up bar like a pull-up bar. I'm sorry. He invented a new metal to build. Well, see, he meant to say method.

But then he came up with, I think it's method because a new metal, he's not inventing a new metal. Are you sure he didn't invent a new metal? You know, if he's got arms like that, maybe he did. Cheaper, easier. But what the fuck? Yeah. It's like a reverse shake weight. The Henry Ford of Fitness.

It's like the pole weight, but I just was dying. Well, so yeah, if you check it out, you'll see that he actually, there's a whole fucking, you know, a whole series of different. There's one Where's a jack-off Machines? He can jack off his homies. He's got

Is this where all the stolen carburetors are going? I think so. This guy's fucking home gym? Yeah, all your valve springs that have gone missing are now in this guy's fucking jack-off machines.

So he's like, he fixes your car during the day and jacks it off at night. He puts your springs in an Olympic bar and jacks them off. We'll see,

he's revolutionizing the fitness game. dick you don't understand see look at him he said you can get these arms he just he is so he might be the

Henry Ford of Discord too if he's fucking making this shit and he just has giant triceps yeah and nothing else really but his fixation seems to be aside from his triceps is look he's got the fucking pull up one

he's got the every day's triceps day this is he's just flat out jack off. It's crazy with two hands. Like what who's not everyone's uncle needs to be on Instagram man. Doesn't he need like

range of motion when that be like a full range of motion? Is that not? Is that a myth? I guess so but yeah he's got a whole so he works out with springs. Yeah. His whole thing is springs and poles and he you know, he's the

Henry 40. He revolutionized the whole game. dick all right see that's cool so anyway yeah if anyone wants to revolutionize your fitness start there I guess so this next one

I think you'll enjoy as well let's see here perhaps not as fitness oriented so here's a new Indian scam a new Indian scam I call it the chair Ouija board okay so this guy is praying

to this chair with a face on it it's an Indian guy with a a pinata it's a whole chair oh it's a whole chair oh I see with a face and there's this Indian who's like in

the guru or something telling him how to do it well he's praying I think asking for an answer and so these assholes take a chair leg and draw your fate

or whatever the answer you're seeking is and it's a magical chair it's a magical chair look at him he's grateful to the chair he's talking to the face as if he's reasoning

and these guys are and it's two assholes drawing in the sand with the chair leg oh two chair legs my bad but how do we get more of this

in the country well easy reduce it from a yearly fee to a once time fee and then you know I was happy for a moment I was first

yearly oh we're saved yeah and then that stupid bitch what's her name came out just to want to clarify yeah no I heard Howard Lutnik say it was every year oh I yeah everyone was happy about that don't give me this shit I felt something for once again and yeah I felt something for once but anyway so yeah a new Indian scam I'm gonna go moonwalk on Charlie Kirk's grave if that was if you guys fucked that up

yeah so here's the hair genius okay spelled how I spelled it so she if you click on their it goes to the street she calls herself the hair genius so now you can just click back and then see the one i uh so she actually put denim pockets with money and zippers on this lady's head what are they telling you look good it looks like you got a patch on your head it looks like she is one of those corline dolls that had seen better days they're part of the hair style is a button hanging out of her eyeball just really like she had gotten dropped out of a moving car or something you are a toy

yeah it just and look at her top too it's one dollar hanging out of her jean shorts yeah her top is jean shorts wrapped around and you could see the button in the front too is lenov seen this so she's got a blue dyed hair

that looks terrible then a bunch of gold chains in the hair and a bunch of pockets cut off of jeans and glued onto her head and then a $1 bill sticking out of one of the pockets on her head and a bunch of women cooing and saying she looks great

Yes when she doesn't look great This is well you know If enough people say she looks great Then it's believable But yeah she's wearing a whole gene Fucking look at that It's just a pair of jeans

That goes all the way from her ankles Up to her fucking tits Put it on her she should put on her face too Yeah they were just a little shy The hair genius A place where everyone feels comfortable Even people with the shittiest hair

Dues in the whole earth What's the strong hair? What is this poor white girl doing here? Oh man Getting her wig fucked up I imagine Uh All right

But yeah So I thought that was a little You know With the last hair lady we saw There's always the bootleg Right to the good one Yeah

So this one was like the knockoff version of that's just a lot of post of her I don't want to see that okay now this next one I'm very excited

about okay cracking a cold and dead one okay so sometimes you know we love

talking about toenails on this show and oh sometimes you know what's wrong with the foot you just got to pull

the tab and oh okay Now, if you notice, I had one more link, too. So I like to save the best for a lot. So when you're picking your toenails later, just be grateful. Oh, God, I want that for me so bad.

I want a toenail that I could do that, too. A whole one you could just like pop the top on. It must have felt great To some extent, right? Well, so this next one Watch out for snakes Okay Was that a leaner?

No, we're just hit the audio button The longest snake? Is that shit? How did that guy do that? There's a shit floating in an aquarium What is that? Well, this guy took like a fucking five-foot-long shit. How?

I don't know, but it came out of a boat. It came out of a butt. Why is this guy down here? That was a butt? Wait till it loops or you might have to refresh it. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That was a shit out of a butt? You see it taper off at the end.

Yeah, but how did the butt get underwater? Well, because there's an asshole swimming around with the camera probably laughing his ass off. What the hell is this? Watch, it breaks off right here, too, even. Oh, all that It's like the Titanic Brakes in half and one sinks Exactly

The cross section of the poop is even worse Right Some people want to know how fucked my Explorer feed is Well, this is kind of stupid Why is this on Instagram? That's this my time, look Where's the butt?

Wait, was that a fart that came out? Yes, so he's hiding over there It's either him or his friend hiding over there Shooting watch, look there Where's the butt though? It's on the other side of whatever metallic object

is there. So he's shy. How? Wait a minute. How did he get a butt under water here? I don't know what the fuck is in the way. It's definitely a butt on the other side of that because how the fuck

could you... How is he laying? Like, he's bent over? There's so many questions I have about this. That's why I'm... It's curving, so... Right, it's being extruding. It's being shit. Yeah. It's currently going through the extruding. And bubbles are coming out.

Just... Okay, there. So now it's free-floating. That was pinched off. That's where the... Where's the butt that it came out of? Right. Oh, it's tilted, too.

Okay, look at this rotor. Right, okay. Okay. So the camera is... Oh, so they're upside down right now. Yeah. Yeah, the camera's tilted. Let's see this.

Okay. What? So he's underwater facing down? I guess... Oh, so is he... Fuck, the bubbles are... The fart bubbles are going up. Yeah, they're going up.

So you've got to turn your head. Yeah. Oh, wow. Where the hell did he go? Either that, or he was turned like this, right? And then... Maybe. I still can't figure out the logistics of this.

But truly the modern Marvel, or the Marvel, rather, is... People think, like, oh, underwater cameras. Look at all these great things we can do. No. this is what we've only ever done in this world is fucking pick off our dead toenails and shit out like human-sized fucking shits in the fucking water.

Isn't that fuck? That's disgusting. I don't want to have seen that. Well, that's why I brought him into it. Today was a special kind of gross out one. I brought two fat watches. Do we have? All right, let's do your fat watch then.

I think I have some too. Cool. This one's called Land Ho. Okay. This started out as a beautiful day in the pool. and then I had to have the biggest reality check ever of how I was going to get out of this pool. This is like a kiddie pool

of like three inches of water. At one point I didn't think I was going to get out of the pool. I was extremely scared and really regretted every pound I'd ever gained in my life because with these autoimmune diseases, oh, okay. My body reacts differently to different circumstances and the pain sometimes is too much to bear.

But I pushed through. I did the hard thing, and I got myself up. You're talking about standing up out of a kitty pool? So hit play. This is how this beautiful day started. Me in the pool

with my granddaughter and my pregnant daughter. I never thought how was I supposed to get out of here because it was on concrete and not grass. So there was no grip for me to get myself out.

So we emptied the pool. It's dark! You notice immediately it's nighttime. It took all fucking day to get this bitch up. She's wearing jeans shorts. She's sitting in the pool

for six hours? fucking soaking in the fucking it's again the cut the cutaway dude being night time is my favorite part of this so they collapsed the side

and they emptied all the water about and they brought in a wooden bench for some reason to help me move my swollen body around so I could pull myself up I was really terrified that I was not going to be able to do this every credit

I had ever gained at this point but then I realized that I am changing the circumstances that I created for myself and sometimes I have to fight really hard just to do a normal task as to get off the pool and out of a pool. Right here

I almost wanted to give up. I was done. My body was tired. But then I realized that I do hard things every day to get to the true heart's desires to a healthy fried chicken, yeah. Oh my God, her upper arms looks like trash bags. Yeah.

How come they don't have a dolly? You would think you roll onto a dolly. Just pop that bitch up. Right. How is this the first time this is happening in this woman's world? I should sell dollies for fat people. Yes Have this ever happened to you? Are you a fat piece of shit? Fat piece of shit can't get in a out of a fucking pool like a child's pool. Can't get out of the pool in a reasonable amount of time. Because if you're autoimmune disease, do you get automatically shoving brownies in your mouth. Fuck it. Dude, again, when it cuts away to it being dark, outside. I lost it. This is how this beautiful day started. Me in the pool with my granddaughter and my pregnant daughter. Whose motorcycle is done? I never thought how was I supposed to get out of

here because it was on concrete and not grass. So there was no grip for me. So she's in the front yard. Yeah, by God. That's what I want to see driving down the street. Some fat-ass grandma struggling to get out of her kids pool. So you know all the neighbors were looking out of their windows like, what the fuck? This fat bitch

really can't get out of a pool? Call the HOA. Yeah. No fat women in pools in the front yard. even if it is there no livestock send her a note don't wash your livestock in the front yard

on the driveway it's a contamination violation oh then the last one was swing on a miss it's a woman that got a tattoo of a lady on a swing on her fucking arms

so she swings it in her arm fat swings oh god disgusting fucking I brought in some gross ones this time props for owning it and not giving one solitary shit about it

I beg you to give one solitary shit about anything well because the shit she gives are multiple and splattered I beg you to give one shit about it ever solid shit yeah oh my god okay let me see what else I got

yeah is that fucking disgusting I saw that and was like that's We have reached a new layer Little Bird says This lady hasn't ridden a bike Since she was called fat Oh Boston City Councilor Shannon Durkin

So she hadn't rode her bike in a month Because she was traumatized after someone called her fat I think that's the nicest thing anyone can call someone in Boston It's one of those new talking bicycles Have you seen those Elon Musk's talking bicycle. Whoa, fat, get off of me, you fat bitch.

Fuck. Why is this bike panting when I'm sitting on it? Something's wrong with this bike. I'm making a weird sound. How's the sound? How's the sound? I'm dying.

You fat, bitch. Get off of me. It's got a little sensor. So if you're above a certain weight, the tires blow out. Huh Sounded like a tire blowing out Why would you say this? Yeah I just

I am afraid That the conversation In the city of Boston Has really gotten Um Sort of that We've become a little bit Desensitized

To the conversation around safety And I can tell you I had a recent Yeah I almost ate a kid's fingers Because he tried to grabbed something that was on my plate. I almost ate his hand off. Died on a slide out there. What do you mean caring about fucking

public safety? Um, experience on a bike that has put me off of a bike for two weeks, for, um, two months. Damn. Um, I was, uh, heckled. Someone behind me said, you better move, you fat Bward behind me. I was biking. Why would you admit that?

The whole, protected bike lane. And I do need to share that there's a lot of trauma that people, that are riding on two wheels in the city and as we're reaching summer months Do you think it was

Mr. Boston? Other people who are writing on their own two wheeled devices. Devices? They are impacted by the conversation

that we have at the city council. She's only impacted with people there's no way to preserve the constitution with these people. It doesn't exist.

It exists for us because we drove out all these heretics and weirdos. She's describing safety. She's describing being heckled for taking up an entire lane of traffic on a bite. This fat chick is riding a bicycle

holding up traffic. Like a wide, like one of those wide load trailers pulling a double wide house down the street. I was going to say all they needed was a, all she needed was a RAV for with the fucking flag sticking out of the side just to warn everyone. And then nobody, nobody would have been having a problem with it.

This woman does not give a shit about all these hoity-toity philosophical goals of having a information, you know, free market of information and all this shit. She doesn't, she wants to be fatter than hell, ride a comically small bicycle down the middle of the road, and not be harassed for it. Yeah, what do you mean you're going out there looking like a fucking circus bear on a bike and someone's supposed to comment on it? Somebody drove by and said, do-do-d-d-d-d-d-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-dur. He's tried to recruit her, yeah.

I do think it's very important that we realize that in the culture war that is happening around bikes and other infrastructure, we do need to center those that are most vulnerable. Pedestrians, bike users, people on two wheels. And that's something that I have. People on two wheels, people on two hooves. People eating two wheels of cheese. Yes. Two Parmesan on wheels is what she's right. referencing. They don't deserve rights. They don't deserve freedom of speech. They can't,

they can't abide it. It doesn't work. Doesn't work unless the people who want it defend it. There is one guy in Boston right now. My enemy means necessary. Yeah, sitting there just laughing his ass off going, I called her that. That was me. I was the one who called her that fat bitch. What if it was the mayor and he's sitting there listening to Well, that's why I'm sitting there, like, was that Mr. Boston just passive, like, in passing, go, move, you fat bitch. Just selling hats to everybody, yeah. Accessible streets, and I will continue to do that. And if this is placed in my committee, I think we really need to have a nuanced conversation about who is vulnerable on the roads and how we can protect them.

It's going to be illegal to say move, you fat bitch. Look, man, they took away happy hour out there. They're going to take that away next. Drain the pool. Oh, what's next? She said, Liam Wyatt said she's got stuck between the bed and the wall while filming this. Go wherever the wind takes you.

It's a fart that knocked her off the bed. Oh, those are Gale Force winds. Oh. It's a fat chick spinning around. Oh, she's like a tumbleweed. It blew her across It looks like an AI video of like a chicken cutlet Trying to fry itself

The way she gets all powdered up Through the same end When she dropping the oil basket next The wind took me back to the place I love most This Disney cruise was so different Than the others I've been on Hey can we have Disney stuff for kids again Or is it only fat chicks

Is that like Is that like is that is that what we're is that what Disneyland is now if you take a kid there are you the weird one it's just fat whores

ramming all the more reason not to take your kids to Disneyland or I mean obviously or go there but here we go son

let's go to fat bitchland it's like a zoo and now we're gonna go to fat bitchland that's shaped that's themed like a frontier now here's fat bitchland in space

isn't this exciting Fat Biches in Space is a crazy movie Fat Pigs in Space Working with storybook destinations Honestly made it easy Because they figured everything out for us I didn't know this but it doesn't cost you anything Extra to use a travel agent

I found this out when we used them to help us book an Alaskan cruise for next year We had a lot to coordinate and needed a pro After that delightful experience I was thrilled when they asked if I would be interested in a hosted cruise It's the best when you work with coming Okay an ad By the way, I also started this It doesn't really say that she fell in between the

How did you fall off the bed Because I'd be bruised I got stuck Oh so she did get stuck She got stuck between the wall and the bed When she rolled off Got to call up all the king's horses and all the king's men man And their tractor

And yeah And John Deer I got stuck and said some not-so Disney words. That made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that. He-ha-ha-ha! Just these fat women belly laughing everywhere, man.

Where did you go to get your swimsuit? That is so cute. Angel Sue says. Let's get a good look at the swimsuit. It's adorable. that's so cute why is it always the big glasses too it's like you can never

find like a fat lady with like non-linning glass like yeah morphia's glasses Chinese mob boss glasses that just barely cover your pupils with like they're always like his glasses the size of dinner plates yeah you're not you're not fooling anyone now just all of you looks you look like a

Nintendo character that's like Oh, you're part of the heavy class in Mario Kart. Like, okay, I get it, yeah. So this chick fired up this video of a 380-pound woman pretending to blow from her Disney cruise ship to the ocean and said, where did you get this? Oh, okay, where did you get this swimsuit? It's so cute. at the fucking army surplus store

Jesus it's like it's like a neon green it's what they drape over construction equipment when it's on the freeway so it doesn't get hit you know what the craziest part I'm just now real like more egregious than the

outfit yeah and the herself is the fitness watch right she's got the Apple watch on monitoring her heart rate and shit And it's like It's because as soon as it gets out of the red zone It's time to eat again Oh it's a blood sugar model

Yeah it monitors the Apple Watch has a mode It's a white sugar monitor Where it's like your blood is pumping It's no longer in the pudding range So it's time to eat Yeah it's starting to thin out And resemble blood you may need More sludge

It's no longer opaque Jesus This is the best This is the worst actually dude that cruise carpet yeah it's really offensive to my eyes and senses the carpet in this cruise that's the offensive part yeah

this is hilarious I love that you actually did this however I need to know where you get this bathing suit you can get it at the JCPenny's in hell they have every size that you need or want not not me wondering mama for

mama ferreira not me wondering if I even know how to roll you can possess them but you may not do them two different things swimsuit twins miss you are they made two of that suit I think she thinks there's two people in that swimsuit

the commitment yeah she should be committed that looks uncomfortable yes correct abler green living in that body dude uh I just absolutely love your posts

with all the positive and fun vibes you share they make the sun come out anywhere hugs from Finland what the fuck is wrong with this person finish that's

ouch the commitment okay that's it everybody she was the one shitting the cruise ship yeah that shit was nothing compared to this they should have like a shit

olympics they shouldn't work it into the fat women Olympics the shit the 10 meter shit that's what we saw The long shit Instead of the long jump Shitman

Fucking Those toilets you brought up that way How much you shit Yeah Dude That guy could have set Right Or whoever the fuck that was

Could have set some records that day Yeah that was pretty good It was Elvis had Revived just to give us One last treat Well I hope everyone had a good time At Charlie Kirk's funeral in slow motion I'll see you next week

Patreon.com slash the Dick Show DickTot Show Probably do a bonus episode this week Yeah, I think See you next Tuesday Oh, that's a nice one Nice tribute

Nice tribute Presenting Presenting Oh man I'll defend freedom Defend it I'll defend I'll defend the freedom of the people

Trying to kill me That's great bro Thanks Thanks very much The house is on fire though Doesn't matter I hope any of those criminals Burn their hands on my stuff

Yeah me too All right goodbye See you everybody Thank you.