The Dick Show - Episode 478 - Dick on Straight Drop

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

A man drives into a church, how to tell a woman no, Israel hatches a plan to take over all media, a man is messed with while on crack, someone poops on my couch, Charlie Kirk's hot sauce, a Muppet sex pest,  ; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Oh God, I hate this shit! I need a full investigation. No, come on! Are you... RQ? Are you... Yes, just that. I demand a full investigation. Yeah, what's happening over there?

Uh... Well, the... The unbreakable keyboard. Who sent me this keyboard? Yeah, which nuns Zillzak or something? Which dumb? Which of you motherfuckers sent me this fucking busted-assky?

Is this not working either? Uh, no, it's not. Okay, is this not working? Well, I'm sure it would if you didn't have a joke keyboard. Just let me see it. Fuck. Please. No, stop showing me this shit.

Come on! Yes, yes, a sidebar, yes, yes, yes, yes, live events. Yes, yes, yes. Come on, make it easy. And nothing. Okay. Oh, this is working. Is that working?

That's working. Okay, that's working. But Rumble's not. Well, shocker. Oh, mute. Vimeo again? Oh, there we go. What, mute Vimeo?

Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Cool. And this is... That's working. God damn it, man. Whoever sent me this unbreakable keyboard, it's broken.

The unbreakable medical grade keyboard that you sent me has broken. The keyboard that you said I could put through the washing machine and spill anything on, including blood. blood no longer works I'm reduced to cutting and pasting letters I can find on a page well I watched you try to log in and every letter you pressed it was like there was an auto

clicker on it why don't I have a backup for any of this stuff because I try to get through every day without spending $100 that's why and I say today's today's today's today I'm going to do it I'm going to not spend $100 today so I'm not going to buy a replace

Because if I buy a backup keyboard and mouse Which I need Thank God that I have six mice in here for some reason I don't know which don't know which dangle it goes to which one If I buy a backup keyboard I'm going to be that much closer to my Failure point of $100 that I spent today Every fucking day man

Every fucking day you got to You got to prime your wife for it early too You start hearing the talk of ordering out ordering Grubhub early on in the day and you gotta kill that and the cradle what do you feel like tonight

sandwiches bread leftovers the shushing machine the shushish where is that damn thing fuck it's in the baby's room huh

that's a great invention huh that's a great invention isn't it great bonus episode check it out patreon.com slash the dick's show for only only five

bucks unlike other unlike I mean you could I don't know how much is how much is Charlie Kirk paying for church nothing no come on get out of here nothing he's got to be you got to be shucking over you gotta be paying something for that stuff

he's not paying anything anymore he's not oh oh I see let's start it off let's start our Sunday off with some good news unbreakable keyboard the guy said and I said oh this is perfect he better have an unbreakable asshole

for the fucking he's about to be getting Unbreakable keyboard Hey Dick I notice you have a lot of problems with your keyboard Here's an unbreakable keyboard for you Oh man

Look at this guy Start things off I think the first white guy On this page Is this Did they Did she do it in In

horizontal In landscape On Portrait mode Is Sean relegated to A landscape portrait shot? Yes.

Does it open up when he goes to heaven? This is, what is the name? Special Moments custom printing. Yes. Does it open up at least? Let's hear it.

Oh shit, I already fucked it up. Now you are an angel flying high. Okay, yeah, it's, why would she do this? Why didn't she zoom in? Shot's the only one in landscape and portrait.

mode going into heaven. How can you go to heaven in landscape and portrait mode? The thing is the whole, the borders get white too. Yeah, the borders are getting wiped too. You couldn't send this guy to heaven in portrait mode? You got to send him to heaven in landscape and portrait mode? Damn. That's dirty.

I hope, how much was this? Custom print job. Half-ass print job, 114 likes. That's, let's, I'm not going to like it. I don't want to give up the, I don't want to give up the game. You can't That's the thing Come on

We can't get a Can't get a full portrait mode For this guy The very least He could be honored with you know Unbreakable keyboard I thought amazing I'm gonna toss all my old keyboards

I don't need this shit Sitting around my house Taking up room Sucking up My tax dollars Now look at it Fucking worthless It's Q man keyboard

I can't have no keyboard that pose cues nonstop? Enter your password, okay. I've been hacked. No, not again. Can't... Can I... Is there a breakable keyboard?

Can I get one of those? He gave you the opposite day special over there. It's got so many great features like this detachable magnetic cable. I should have known when he said it was medical grade that there was going to be some

but that it was bullshit Yeah, that means it breaks faster So they can keep ordering more And fuck up your insurance It means they got a bunch of lead weights in it Giving you maladies Oh, God I don't even want to touch it

I'm going to put it over here I have to right I don't want to accidentally touch this thing I'll shut the show down It could you're right It could shut it down instantly All right don't do this theme song Maybe that will

It's not even the right theme song, Jesus Christ. The day everything went Haywire. It's my nightmare. My nightmare. Watching the password type itself in.

Yeah! Love it. You want Dick, you need to you. Love to you. Got it. It's the show revenues contest. It's going to live from Mount Burnton Deep in the heart of the city failure.

I'm your host, Nick Masterson, A.K. the $20 million man. Jimmy, as always, his world, uh, Chani, the audio engine. You know, tour shit. Or do you? U.S. Continental Touring. Johnny, the audio engineer.

How you doing? Doing great, man. How are you doing? Terrible. I shit on my couch this week. I tried to blame it on the baby. That's cool. I tried to sneak. I wasn't even drinking.

I wasn't even drinking. I shit on my couch. My precious white couch that I've been like up everyone's ass not to even rest their beer on Because it's like you had, you have residue on the beer. I wasn't drinking anything. Or I hadn't drank in like a week. And then...

That's your body telling you you need to drink. I was interviewing some guy on Zoom meeting. And I'm like, oh, I got to go. Got to go. And he's like, go, I can wait, Sarah. I said, I got to go. I got to go. Someone's at the door.

And he says, I don't believe you. I don't believe that someone is at the door. You're like, my house is about to be smelling like your house in just a second. I said, no. Come on. Come on. Too old for this. You're not old enough for this yet.

That's the thing. You shit a leather couch. You can always blend it back in. You know, there's always an escape. Yeah, I have a, I follow a YouTube, uh, tutorial channel about blending shit into a leather cat literal shit right but a linen couch oh you're white linen couch man i gotta go oh sir i'll wait here no someone's at the door this is gonna take a while poop man is here to collect the poop the uh who's at the door sir

i said uh the poop man the sewer sewer sewer man yeah and i owe him a lot i owe him a lot of just what do let me go i got to get i got to go i got to go i got to go Let me go. I gotta go. I got to go. I got things going on that you can't understand, okay? Yeah, what is it with people who won't let you to fuck go? Oh, no, no, no, no. You just take your time. I wait here all day, sir. No, let me go. Fuck. There's shit coming out of my pants right now. I got shot. I got a, oh, man.

No, no, no, no. strip the strip the thing off fuck strip the thing off like all right I gotta get this I gotta get this downstairs

I gotta get this downstairs in a hurry and get it into the washing machine so I tiptoe down the creeks my stairs is my whole house just creaks put together by like a violin maker

made my house to make it as resonant as possible. You put all his techniques of making fragile, you know, high-strung wood. You're just bad of sneaking around, man. It's like a ninja fortress here. You've got to know where all the creeks aren't. I'm going to paint them. I'm going to paint them yellow or red or something.

I'm going to put wood grain going the wrong way where the creek spots are. I've been trying to figure out where they are, but I can't. I'm creaking down the stairs. creak sneakily so I'm like oh man there's something about the way you're creaking on these stairs

that she's going to know you shit in your pants on the couch and I'm like and I'm like okay thank God the baby's gonna be crying so I can get away with this right and as soon as I go down the stairs as soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs

the baby goes and I'm like fuck stuck halfway between I got my pants I'm Donald ducking it with my shirt shit yeah

come on man the one time fucking Friday you can't be what if you had to go to work what have you had an office job you're driving a truck like a real man what if you had any of these other number of other jobs

you can't do that shit you can't be going I gotta go The poop man is at the door I gotta get out of here I've been avoiding him all this time I wipe my ass with my shorts Fuck did I wipe my ass with my underwear

My shorts I don't know Oh fuck That's a brutal Friday man Well you know it would make you feel better dick Yeah Is uh Do you have any plans for Unctober Fest

This was my October fest This is your Unctober Fest? Shitting my pants on a Friday afternoon doing a Zoom interview with an Indian Well see You were just trying to make him feel at home Happy October Fest Yeah

You didn't go off on how like Gems and minerals Like affect No I didn't go off in any of that shit When you talk about gems and minerals now That's you weren't That wasn't October Fest then

So I'm trapped on the last step Baby's silent Like I can't I have to stand on this step Forever Until the baby starts crying again, which should be any second now. Tick-Tock. Wait, so you'd already wiped your ass with your shorts at this point, too?

Yeah, because I didn't want to be dripping shit everywhere. Right, so then you have a... Look, because I wasn't... I wasn't drunk. If I'm hung over or drunk, I know exactly what to do. Yeah. Not give a fuck. Run down...

Don't take your pants off. Run downstairs. You don't pull the knife back out. Yeah, you go to the hospital. You know? Oh, shit, I pulled the knife out. Get it back in! and the thing is too, right, is

like spit doesn't smell until you smear it around. Yeah. Yeah, why is that? I have no fucking idea, but the same, similarly, the shit doesn't smell until now you've, like, you've removed it from thine self

in a way to, like... Yeah, it doesn't smell up your own ass, does it? Well, doesn't smell if it's all still contained, right? You're not bleeding out. You don't finish bleeding out. I got up and looked. I was like, no, okay, don't be, don't, please don't be. Oh, no. Drew a little mud on the couch, did we? Did you rather?

So I'm on the last step, and I'm like, you just got to, the baby's not going to, he's fucking you over. You got to just go for it. No big deal. Just go for it. I step off the last step. My life goes, what are you doing out here? Oh. I said, nothing.

Because why aren't your pants on? Any number of reasons. How come... Oh, wow. Like, because he got... The baby got some poop on the... On the couch. I'm cleaning it up.

And in my... She goes, why aren't your pants on? I said, well, because the poop got on my pants, too. Because it got on your underwear, too? And I said, uh, yeah. Because I think you're lying. I think you're lying about that. you think

I am lying it was me I did it you didn't tell her that you beat the shit out of a ghost in the couch this ghost was shitting on the couch no I beat the shit out of him you'd be surprised

that was dumb of me I should have gotten one of these women that's like believes in ghosts and stuff and you're just like this fucking ghost man ghost is tearing scared the shit of me literally, this ghost popped through the wall. I was like, whoa, a go-c-c-c-go-c-c-c-cose! I had a day mare and shit the couch. I had a day-mare that this entity was pushing poop out of me.

And then it happened from the inside. It was me this whole time. Fucked up my whole weekend. And then that guy's hitting me back up on Upwork. Hey, so what, what's going on? Like, can you just, can you not tell? in someone's voice that something has gone

horribly wrong he's leaving the guy still at your door yeah that guy's still at the door I've had the longest pounding on the door yeah he won't fucking leave I think I don't have my camera on

then he would have no oh shit uh uh oh no yeah you could You could play it off on audio, but when it comes to an element of surprise with a face camera, no way. Brutal. And then my wife's fucking giving me fart checking tips for some reason.

Fart checking. Don't you check if it's a fart before you let it go? Like this, what? First of all, don't fucking talk to me. Like, I don't know what a fart is. don't ever don't ever take that tone with me

yeah you think I don't how to fucking fart correctly I got a lot about a fart over here what do you think

you're talking to just like well your fart ended up on the fucking couch like well I'm talking

to somebody to shit their pants I'm yeah okay well well man so

obviously I've done obviously I've tried to you know normal things that you're talking about they just don't work for me because it came out with no

fart. There was no phase change. It was a flash flood. It was a flash... I got fucking... I got flash flooded. It must have been... I don't know if it was the position I was laying in or something. Flash mud, dude. It was flash mud.

That's crazy. Because usually you'll get like a pop-pop and you go, whoa! Close the gates. That's a shit. that's a shit's a coming sometimes a tracer if you're lucky you'll get a little yeah you get a tracer round

you're like oh you're like all right cease fire and fucking run close the gates like a zombie movie yeah flash mud is uh

this was instant flash mud that you can't avoid that you exactly exactly and if I had been, as I'm explaining this to her, as I'm scrubbing it out. I got two sinks going like a CVS cashier, you know, over here

scrumming it out over here, over here, over here, over here. So how are you going to get that out? I'm like, well, you know, luckily I have this stuff that gets any staying out of, again. Who are you talking to? Man. I should have taken my pants off. Then she would have bought the kid did

it. Right. Well, then she would have seen where it was. though. Well, you could have wrapped yourself in the... But you wouldn't have seen my ass. It would have just been, look, I got on the couch cushion, then I would have... You know, uh, oh, oh, oh. Did too much. I shouldn't have been in such a rush

to get my pants off. That was dumb. I mean, I get it. You want to... You want to take your shitty pants off, but... You have to regain some sense of dignity, but you have to like... It was vanity. That's exactly right. You got to make it to the hospital

first, because they have the necessary means to bandage you up, so to speak. Yeah. That's fucked. It's not a fun. So I just started drinking. I'm like, what am I doing?

Well, at least if you're drinking, then you have a reason. Then you have an excuse. Because everybody blames the alcohol a little bit no matter what happened. Exactly. At least with enough beer, you might get the fart, too. You might at least gain.

Right. Where was my warning fart? Yeah, you got nothing. I got nothing. I got totally railroaded. You got inside job. Inside job. Fucking crazy. Zero firewall. Zero fucking

I got zero warning. Just telneted right into your fucking call on. Let me test this out. What the hell was kind of test what's this? And then I'm like, Then I'm like, I'm eating, you know, I'm eating the peanut butter. Like, am I eating, am I wrong?

Is this what it feels like? No, no, no, no, no. Something's gone. Yeah. Something's wrong. That's vicious, man. Because that, some catastrophic event like that, right? Right.

Have you questioning everything. No, I have shell shock. I'm shit shocked. What are you going to do? Just drink water and eat toast from now on? I guess. Maybe that was the problem. Well, but that's the thing is like, everything you eat, you're going to be like, this is going to come spraying out of my asshole. This is the one that did it.

Like a fucking concrete hose at any given moment. See, it's because, it's because let me start, you know, my blame chart, you always got to split it in half. Yes. Obviously, my body is the fault, but half of it also is we're like trying to eliminate men. Because if you if the mom's eating milk products and the baby's drinking the breast milk, maybe that's what's making them so sick and crazy and throwing spitting up because they get like an allergy to the milk protein or something. I don't know some kind of thing where you got to stop eating milk. So that means I get stuck with eating all of the everything that we have that's milk like all this Cajun chicken. I because you know because I do not want to let food expire. I hate letting food expire. So now we have all this food that people brought over and that we ordered ready made to like reheat but it all contains fucking milk so now my wife's on the milk strike for the for to deal with the baby screaming i got to power through all this cajian fucking shrimps um so i'm pounding in

milk product milk food you're biu maxing right now i'm biu maxing and it's fucking me that is yeah not my fault. All right. Because you have to think of the two functions, right? The input processing and the output processing. Right. Exactly. And it's like, some days, man, you've been eating the normal shit and you're like,

what the fuck happened to me? Yeah. But I'm not eating normal shit. I'm eating Cajun for two. You have to live like a ripped bag of peat moss from now on. What? Like a, you know, one of those garden bags of peat moss? Yeah.

Just imagine, like, someone cut a little tear in it. Yeah. And then just, like... What does Pete? What does that do? Well, just, like, all the shit spilling out of your ass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, like, a ripped bag, man.

Like, that's great. Like, that's your future. I mean, while you house all these things. I need some, I need some Tylenol. And I read, I read this week that Tylenol doesn't just give you autism. It makes you gay. Well, shit, that... Did you know that?

Look, it's queuing again! It's fucking queuing again! No! No! All right! I can't. I can't. I need a replacement first. Who's fucking, who sent the seal shield? You see this shit? Seal shield! That's getting fucking gaveled next episode. Here we go, yeah. Does the chainsaw still work? Shit.

I think a key landed in my coffee. Did it? I'm so sick of this shit. This thing fucking sucks. What a fucking piece of shit. You know what I fucking found this week? My accountant missed a tax return from California for like 20 grand. I'm like, what is this?

What do you fucking pay for? What do you fucking get paid for? Are you kidding me? I would break that That keyboard goes right in that guy's fucking asshole for that one 20 grand You know if you go to church today on Sundays Like everybody's trying to do church now

I got keys sucks a wall You're not gonna get a preacher that's talking about pooping their pants in real life things It's just gonna be bullshit He's gonna be talking about bullshit Man church sucks, stupid This is better This is much better

If you need God stuff You can listen to Jesse Lee Peterson who says basically the same stuff I do but then somehow somehow blames God for it Yeah, we blame the correct people Alcohol Oh yeah

Fuck, what if I need that keyboard It's copy-based in today I'm gonna use the virtual keyboard I guess You have to, yeah Hunting and pecking everything Uh Well speaking of found things Dick In my deep dive adventures

Out in the Wild I came across The Sickest Jacket made by this company called Four Uncles by Uncles Also known as Fubu Okay So Wait is that really what that means

I think it really means For Us by us Black people Talking about black people But I think I think we should rebrand it For uncles By uncles?

Okay So Get in your October Fest spirit Grab a Fubu jacket Wear it with pride Tell everyone your favorite Tinfoil hack conspiracies

I feel good about this. I feel that there wasn't enough destruction, frankly. I don't want to get hurt. That was 90. You got to go right until you start to feel like you need a little bit more and then stop. Yep. That's my new life motto. That's after 40. After tearing my bicep in half, that became my new life motto. Go right up to the edge. That's a good one. Guy drove a a guy drove a truck into a Mormon church today? Did you see that one? Started shooting up the place and then lit it on fire?

Jesus. Kind of badass, honestly. If you're gonna drive into a church and blast away and then light it on fire, giant fucking... What do you think? Trans or Muslim? I guess it can't be both, right? It would be unlikely.

It could be both. It seems more like a... Like driving things through things seems more Muslim than trans usually Well, how were they driving? Were they driving on two wheels? Which one would do?

That would be the trans one? That would be the Muslim one. Have you seen those Arab drift videos? No. There's these guys just like, we'll take any car and like have it up on two wheels and like two guys hanging out like the passenger side. Oh yeah, I have seen those.

This depends. If they were on two wheels or four. I'm excited to get the the results back for that one. Trans or Muslim. I wonder what narrative, what the narrative machine is going to say? Well, I know is that he's forgiven by Jesus Christ.

That's all. That's all that's important. Let's see. Police are still on the, oh, is this a fat watch? Yeah, I guess so. Fat watch. A little early.

German police are still searching for an anonymous web user who called this German politician fat on social media. Hmm. She's so fat. Her tits are like a tarp. She has tarp tits. Wow.

I hope they catch them. I'm Spartacus. That's what we should do. Everyone come forward. I am the one who I called her fat. Laughing that they're on the hunt for this. Because I'm sure all the comments are like, fuck this fat bitch.

There's no way. Okay, here's Tylenol that makes you gay. Gives you autism. it gives you autism I mean it probably like I don't know probably obviously does I mean

give me a break it factually does that's what everyone's saying right like I bet it does you can't just take everyone can't take everything all the time and it not do and it do nothing

can't I don't when we like when 80s girl was pregnant we're going on basically like full, we're operating on full fear and paranoia when it comes to things you put in your body

like some you're the most retarded woman can come up to you and say did you know that Diet Coke causes autism? Like okay so you're not drinking Diet Coke like that's it that's the level of like scientific rigor that is to should be expected

for fucking up your fetus like I heard a rumor My husband works at Nintendo My uncle works at Nintendo And he says that Driving with your left hand causes autism Like, okay, I'm doing the fucking bus driver now From now on

Right hand only But That's not the way some Women are doing it Surprisingly They're pounding it Let me see Let me bring up one of these

These ladies This is a woman Who is pregnant and aggressively taking Tylenol I think I have those cups pounding the Tylenol so they don't know

I don't know what causes autism I know for goddamn sure that the species that can't park and believes in ghosts doesn't know what causes autism they don't even know what causes electricity so they don't even know

about earth wind and fire either no they really don't like where does the fire come from I don't know it must be in the wood no it's not actually but just like an

I hate my dad that's all it is yeah I hate my dad I hate you here's the oh yeah here's the gay thing prenatal exposure to acetaminopin and precursor this is probably bullshit but it's funny impairs masculinization of male brain and behavior uh together these data

suggests that prenatal exposure to apap may impair male sexual behavior in adulthood by disrupting the sexual neurobehavioral programming these findings add to the growing body of evidence suggesting that need to limit widespread exposure and use of apap so the Tylenol makes you gay as well. Does that say 2017 at the bottom? Yeah, it did. Crazy. And the other one is from like, the other

Tylenol stuff is from like 2012. Huh. That's from way back. Interesting. It is interesting, huh? Whoopsies. Oh, whoopsie. They tell you, it's like totally fine.

Like if you're, oh yeah, that's what we were told. Like, yeah, sure, just pop some, pop some teas. Pop some talent, you'll be, and if you're like normal, if you're like a normal person you think I don't know about that I'll just take a couple and then when I when I feel okay I'll stop like I'll just take a couple

to take the edge off you know that's all it ever really does anyway yeah but then there's women out there just pounding it insanity out of spite now so we're gonna end up with like a bunch of gay retarded

uh gonna end up with even more oh my god that's even more The future has even more gay, retarded people. Reaching for my keyboard, but it's not there. That's how you do it, too. Women taking Tylenol.

I got any more of these? Oh, yeah, and then one got sent to the hospital. I don't know if this is real. It's funny if it's real. Women coming in, especially women, coming in. Especially women, she says. Yeah. Because they took too much Tylenol.

Yeah. Or acetaminophen. So this is actually fucking happening. I mean, I mean, yeah, just say women are doing it and I believe it. Whatever it is.

Like, you feel like you're in the Twilight Zone because these are adults. Not really. These are adult life. It's every day. It's every fucking day. Reality. Because they're,

are taking too much Tylenol. Okay, yeah, cool face tattoos. What if it makes you gay? Are those guys adopting babies gonna be like chugging Tylenol and their kid, make them gay? I'm sure.

We got a test. We can test now. Just track all these ladies. You really can. Well, again, there's all these studies right yeah um here is the it's the five-year anniversary of an amazing event perhaps you remember this johnny i do remember this this is the today is the day in history when frank hassle went to boogie's house he was invited went to boogie's house to hassle him

and then boogie shot a warning shot frank castle Did we ever recover the bullet? I don't think anyone ever recovered that bullet. Yeah, I wonder if there was any engravings on it. Yeah. Like, uh, Little Debbie. Written on it, Pizza Hut. If you can read this, 25% off your next Little Debbie snack cakes?

Uh, really a day. Probably one of the happiest days, you know, of so many people's lives. easily one of the funniest things that I've ever happened on the internet man hard to imagine all that time has passed hasn't it hasn't really been five years

it's been five years since boogie shot at Frank Castle or in his direction damn time really flies time really flies I was going to say he should celebrate with a cake

but I'm sure he already is regardless list of the fact, yeah. Let's see. Here's a town. Check this out. I've got for you here. It's a town where, oh, I don't have the link, great.

It's a town where women and men can't walk on the same side of the street. Oh, yeah, how do you like this? Is it because they're all fat? It's like an Orthodox Jewish town. where you can't walk Yeah, here it is Look at this A Jewish-dominated town in New York

Where there are laws segregating sidewalks Based on genders And a bunch of other stuff too That I don't am not a big fan of But I am a fan Imagine a town where You can't You're never like impeded by some fat woman

Sloshing around in front of you almost that's almost worth all the other stuff isn't it that I was just yeah like huh maybe they're on to something maybe they're on to something

I don't know okay here is here's Netanyahu oh wait there's a good one this is Serena Williams is getting upset about cotton cotton

uh cotton all right everyone here's Serena Williams in a, uh, a hotel. Ready? There you go. I feel about cotton as decoration.

Personally for me, it doesn't feel great. Cotton. So actually, it feels like... Well... She's rocking a white wig, you know, classic. She's obviously very proud of her heritage and her culture. Rocking a blonde wig. Why did she, I'm gonna choose my words very carefully here, but why did she grab a piece of it?

She couldn't, she couldn't stay away. Come on, like. No polishing or cotton, an actual. That actual, what do you mean? She could tell the difference right away? All right, everyone. Is this like, this is the most, this is like a white person trying to, this is like the most, this is like the most out of touch. black person ever trying to

play the race card at a time when no one gives a fuck right now like really we're just we're fucking exhausted people are burning churches down we can we don't really give a fuck about whatever slavery happened hundreds of years ago right

well it's like some throwaway decoration it's like in the middle of a hallway on a thin table it's not like fucking the centerpiece like hey this is this is our this is our tribute to cotton one of America's a great crops. What do you think she's wearing here? Does you think there's any cotton in this?

She's wearing like a Michael Jackson outfit? I don't know. It's unreal. There's a sort of return to roots. I don't know, initiative. I don't know what else to call it. It's like, we got to get back to what, you know, cotton. We got to get back to being outraged at, you know, normal stuff. None of this trans.

We're not getting outraged at this trans shit and, you know, boys and girls' sports. We're getting outraged at to cotton. slavery and stuff let's get back to the basics here I like that as a sequel idea too Return to Roots What a fucking What a fucking idiot

Of all things To take umbrage with Did I pass the Charlie Kirk hot sauce already? Yes Yeah I did You want some of that I'm just so tired Of everyone needing a hot sauce

Or needing a tequila or eating a vodka like just everybody everybody shut the fuck up for just like 10 seconds yeah um

all right here you go fun fact about Charlie Kirk okay did you he create this is his like CO so this is the guy who's kind of responsible for him being dead he's the one that hired

the security I guess I don't know that's his job fun fact about Charlie Kirk did you Did you, he created his own hot sauce? I didn't. We talk about Charlie Kirk's healthy diet

and how he loves plates of veggies. Love, do you mean? And meat, but he loved hot sauce on everything. So much that he made his own. Love it and give it to everyone. By... Man, this poor fucker. This poor bastard.

He's even looking like he's getting shot in the hot sauce. Look at this. somehow this is like less like tactful than the AI videos even yeah this is worse hey guys let's have a money on this that like the AI videos are just like a

tribute but this is like a that's sick this is sick there's something wrong with this the other one was just like tacky and crass Kirk's hot sauce original recipe wow I still think it's funny though

that um dave's killer bread it's like yeah this guy's a murderer and he just started making fucking multi-grained bread and everyone he's a murderer yeah that's why this is called killer bread because he's a fucking killed somebody yeah I didn't know that

his bread sucks too that's why he killed somebody they said his bread sucked and he killed him it's like all small like it's way smaller than all the other bread and like way too fucking expensive yeah is it expensive

I feel like it's like seven, eight bucks Is it? I don't know I'm always annoyed when I see it like I hate this bread Well, I always hated it because every time I'd see it I'm like, get this stupid shit out of here And then I read this bag This mean bread out of here

Yeah, and then I read it and was like What a fucking ass? He's a murderer? Yeah Wow Ugh Now I definitely don't want that bread I mean that's cool though

Supporting a murderer is cool But buying that bread Who did he murder? I don't know Yeah, that matters That does actually matter quite a bit. Someone's grandma, probably.

Oh, well, who's? Still, I need to know all the specifics. It just was like, oh, you know, after like getting into some trouble with the law, and it's like, dude, you fucking murdered somebody. And you called it killer bread. Like, yeah, it's Dave, the killer's bread, not Dave's killer, bread.

Like, what the, I just, I'm so sick of all the, like, people needing to be like, well, here's my take on it. It's just, like, make a good thing with not your fucking, like. your personal founder story. I don't need it. I'm so tired of it.

Yeah. Oh, this was annoying. Let me find this white out shit. So they went to a football game and handed out a bunch of like

Charlie Kirk shirts that say freedom on them. See that? So they're pretending that like they're pretending that like, they're pretending that everyone in the entire

football game is wearing these white shirts, but it's like a whiteout game where everyone who goes wears a white shirt. So the Charlie Kirk people went and handed out these freedom ones that he was wearing when he got shot, and now they're all over

Twitter posting that all of this whole stadium is wearing the whiteout shirts. See? Look at this. But when they zoom in, you can see, not a freedom shirt, not for... You can see that nobody is wearing them

except for these two shitheads. It's shameless. It's just, it's just, it's pointless. It's pointless. You did not need to have a, you don't need to have a pretend stadium of people wearing a fucking free shirt

to honor your dead, or whatever this is. Totally pointless. Acting like it's a fucking harvest crusade or something. something like that. Yeah. Here it is.

Oh, wait, no, that's something else. Did you see this one? FBI fires the kneeling people. They're having a good time, though. Uh, look at this, look at this fucking bruiser. What's she the FBI of's?

the full buffet inspector over here what is this fucking bitch doing it what is this bitch doing in the FBI wasn't there some kind of fitness test or something that's crazy get the hell out of here you should be fired day one fucking fat bitch institution that bitch institution that bitch instructor what is this bitch doing here let me see this why what is she doing in the FBI! Fucking feral behemoth, uh, imposer. She can't kneel? If she kneels, she's going to blow a hamstring getting up.

It's going to take three people to get her back up. It'll be like that, uh, with that clip we saw, where they're a lady in the kitty pool. Yeah, that lady in the kitty pool. This is going to be nighttime by the time they get her ass up. What the fuck is this? Get out of here with this shit. I guess they fired them all for. for being totally pointless. None of them lied and tried to be more out of touch

and say it was a Colin Kaepernick thing? Yeah, that would be smart. Oh yeah, where's the whiteout thing? I find this to be so annoying of all the Charlie Kirk stuff that's happening. Find it to be the most egregious. Charlie's Whiteout.

Bro, it's just like a game where everybody wears white shirts. These people don't care about your dead friend. Like he's still warm and they're all doing all this. He's not even in the ground yet, is he? Is his body buried? And these fucking parasites are crawling out of the woodwork? Speaking of parasites, here's, uh, here's Netanyahu

talking about, uh, Trump gave TikTok over to Netanyahu, I guess. Hmm. Couldn't have China poisoning our minds. I've got to let Israel do it. Here's Netanyahu describing why why it's so great that Israel controls TikTok. Question, influencers. So he's talking to a bunch of influencers here.

They brought a bunch of influencers in to pay them to, well, I'll let him explain it. Yeah. We talked about the woke right. And he said, I call it the woke Reich. That's a... The woke Reich. Because these people, you know,

they're not any different from the woke left. From Hitler, yeah. No, we got it. Hitler. But they're actually meeting on some of the things. Yeah. And what we have to do is we have to secure that part of the base of our support in the United States.

That is being challenged systematically. Right. A lot of this is done with money. Money. Money of NGOs, vast. Yeah. Money of governments, vaster. Oh, yeah. I know. The gravers are just loaded. How do we fight back? Our influencers. I think you should also talk to them if you have a chance to that community. They're very important. And secondly, we're going to have to use the tools of battle.

You know, the weapons change over time. Right. You can't fight today with swords. Okay. Okay. And you can't find with the fight with cavalry. That doesn't work very well. Horses, yeah. Hilarious.

You have these new things, you know, like drones, things like that. I won't get into that. But we have to fight with the weapons that apply to the battlefields in which we're engaged. And the most important ones are on social media. And the most important purchase that is going on right now is. Right. Class. Follars.

Tickttoff. Ticktomer. Number one. Are these guys retarded? They didn't know that? I hope it goes through because it can be consequential. And the other one, what's the other one? That's most important.

X. X. Very good. And, you know, so we have to talk to Elon. He's not an enemy. He's a friend. We should talk to him. How do I?

You can get those two things. We get a lot. And I could go on on other things, but that's not the point right now. We have to fight the fight. With the weapons of media. Give direction to the Jewish people and give direction to our non-Jewish friends or those who could be our Jewish friends.

Are we going to succeed with everyone? No. Will there be a strong counterpart? Yes. How do I summarize that plan without losing my accounts? Yeah. We've got to take over the media

and control it. Okay. for Israel And we've got to make a clear distinction of who's a friend and who's an enemy So we know who to go after We've got to control these weapons With your help

And spread propaganda How do I summarize what's happening here without losing my fucking bank accounts? Not beating the allegations I don't, yeah, give me a fucking break with this shit. Here's, uh, here's the result of that. Uh, yeah. People who start wars, just to lose the wars so they can cry about it and then try it all again.

You must see anti-Semites are literally obsessed with Jews. Now walk with me. While you must see anti-Semites are stacking eviction notices, Jews are out here stacking up businesses. Jews control all the industries. Maybe if you spent more time taking notes from successful people, you wouldn't have to spend your nights and weekends spreading hate from your anonymous account with an anime profile picture. Yeah, take it on. Get rid of them. Do you network like Jews?

No, because you're too busy cheering on a group of musty terrorists who smell like dirty earring backs. And if we're going to keep a real, you're really mad because your income is giving side hustle. Period. How are you going to hate from outside Shabbat? You can't even get in. what the hell what was that i see they both got the autism headphones and air one cups that's for people who they log into netflix and they go oh man girl boss shit and gay black guys i i've watched everything that there is i need more where can i go to get my where can i go to get my fix of

girl bosses and gay sassy black dudes the part that never gets mentioned is when it comes down to brass tax he's the first one and like okay you're out of here like we don't need you anymore this is fucking retarded uh okay well good luck with that here's a new

Charlie Kirk replacement is Bryn Holleyhand this guy alright then I'm gonna read some comments so this guy they sent in to take over for

Charlie Kirk. There's like a war now for who's going to skin walk as him. Take over, you know, take over his position. What's up America? Brian Holleyance here, about 30,000 feet up. We are on the way to Arkansas. So everybody in line at the University of Arkansas to kick off my 10-stop campus tour. We are coming to you right here, right now. Stay in line. We have gotten a third room. We have sold out this campus stop three times but we are coming to you we will fit you in students will get priority it's a ten thousand dollar watch i cannot be more excited we are back we are on the road we're coming to you one conversation at a time if you're not at the university of arkansas we're coming to a campus near you soon so check out my tour dates we'll see you super soon isn't it crazy

seeing this fallout we got a closeted homosexual son of a section eight housing baron with a $10,000 watch and a private jet flying to eat the carcass of a genuine civil rights speaker. Well, like, that's all pretty sick and all, but the thing that really pisses me off is, like, so he's talking about going on tour, which is fine, whatever. That's technically what it falls on. I don't care. But this is the college campuses, right? Yeah. So we're basically, like, being let in on, like, a school's, like, ASB, like, shit, kind of. Like, it's just, like, I didn't even give a fuck about any of that shit when I was in school.

Definitely don't give a fuck now. I sure as fuck don't give any of a fuck about something happening on a college campus of a college I didn't go to over a speaker. I don't, like... Yeah. Just don't give a shit. That's funny. But it's, like, if you think about it, it's like, it's like, oh, this is all college stuff. It's like...

Mm-hmm. Most of us don't go. Yeah. We're past that point. We're... Um, okay, let me see if I have anything else. I really want to get to your brain rot stuff, too. Bill Gates, digital ID.

Yeah, shocker, they're going to do that. Uh, uh, ice cubes bus was firebombed. Yeah, what the fuck was that all about? I thought it was ice. They thought it was an ice bus for like taking illegals away. Oh, shh. well so now i'm sure ice cube hates a bunch of people now you know ice cube not personally but i'm well quite familiar with his work

they bombed his uh oh well i saw that i didn't they bombed his bus his uh his cruise bus because they thought it was a nice bus man it's a good thing they caught him at this point in his career because if it would have been like earlier ice cube yeah like end up Air Ice Cube? That would have been very bad. Did you see when TSA stole his iPad? No. Yeah.

He instantly went nuclear because his iPad was missing or something. So he's tweeting at TSA saying we're going to have a big problem. That's cool. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. And then he said, okay, I have it now. So it's been resolved. That's also cool.

But he didn't really say if they gave it back to him or if he just misplaced it. Hopefully he misplaced it. I hope so. too. Because I want them to be on notice. I hope he just misplaced it. Rapper Ice Cube's tour bus reportedly firebombed by protesters in Portland after being mistaken for ICE deportation bus.

He should take that bus and run over everyone in Portland. Yeah. How come he doesn't call up his crew? With their AKs. It's a good thing that caught him at this point in his career after he's done like Friday after next and, you know, are we there? and all the road trip and stuff but doesn't does he have some contacts

ever does he still have some contacts in his gangsta community that he could summon to like deal with this shit I'm sure I'm sure well because we're all sick of it fucking sick of it I don't know I thought that maybe we're going to get to see some skulls

crushed in L.A in Portland and wherever they need to be crushed but now I'm losing hope I now I've lost hope that it's going to happen we just need a little more a little more

more kindling in the fire, you know? Do we need more do we need more like ice thing? Because all I'm seeing now is an ice detainment facility you shot up and all the two Mexicans got killed which is like, okay, I mean that's That's funny. That's funny.

But they're still shooting at you guys. Right. Like I thought we weren't allowed to do that. Right. Well, that's what I mean is there needs to be more of like a proactive stance against this. I like seeing the fat women get driven over, getting

maced and stuff, but I want to see I want to see gangster shit. Yeah, it's like when Mike Tyson beat that guy's ass on the plane. Yeah. Like, people need to realize like a lot of these guys have like real backgrounds and shit. And it's like, ha, you're a cartoon man, Mike Tyson. It's like No, he didn't

convicted rapist. I don't think you did it, but he's still convicted rapist, Mike Tyson. He raped somebody. I don't think he raped Robin Gibbons or whatever her name was, but I know he raped somebody at some point. Rape whoever was on that plane. Fuck. Can we get, and if the government's not going to do it, maybe Ice Cube can do it. And then he could be president next. I don't care. It's pretty much whoever, the sword in the stone is whoever comes out and steam rolls one of these protests.

That's a good way to let off some steam. Oh, man, everyone will go. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of this forgiveness. I'm tired of the go to church shit go to a therapist shit I just want to see I just want to see somebody get the shit kicked out of them I want to see a lot of people get the shit

that's it is that so wrong is that so is it so hard to do am I asking for too much I see people get killed all day in faraway lands that I don't give a fuck about

guys falling off planes You know, drones dropping grenades on people And it's funny But I don't want to see people get killed I want to see people Get the shit kicked out of them I don't want to see Guys pretending to wear

Shirts Memorial shirts And people pointing at it like the soy face Oh look at the whole stadiums wearing the soy shirt First of all, it's fucking gay if they are wearing the shirt Secondly, they're not wearing the shirt They're just wearing white shirts, you weirdos, you low-tie losers, you don't know what a white out is? Did you show up there with a white shirt probably coincidentally? Because he died in a white shirt.

Hey, so let's take, let's take, they, that's probably an accident, Johnny. They probably actually think those are all their guy's shirts. Guaranteed. Because they don't know what it is. Because they've never watched a football game. They've never, they've tasted as much of the sports culture as the trans community has. Because they're all surprised. What do you mean?

What do you mean a guy can't compete in sports? It's just a metal. What do you? Say that to their face. I just I just want to see people get their ass kicked. I mean, really get their ass kicked hard. There's those, the waymoes, the self-driving cars that they burnt down, I'm not over.

That was a bullshit move. That was bullshit. getting thrown into concrete, I'm not over. All these arrests aren't going to do it either. If Trump goes down and arrests every big donor that gives to Antifa, Bill Gates, throw him all in prison, I still won't be satisfied. I need someone to go into one of these protests. One guy like the Tasmanian devil and just suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, you know?

Yeah. Give him the, play the sound when he goes in there. Ging-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-gag-g-g-gill. Like Wizard of Oz style. Well, you just had me thinking, too. Apple has a chance to change the course of the whole human history, right? Yeah. They get rid of the cameras on the phones.

Blackout. Bring back beepers. Oh, yeah. And then all the fighting can come back just like the 80s, too. Oh! We need a real hero who can disable those cameras. Just like, you know what? We talked about, you know,

8 billion megapixels Here's something for you No fucking cameras Go buy a camera Here's the Apple camera even Just go buy that Because it's a great You know totally nice camera

Apple The little message in your phone Beep your camera is not going to work For the next 20 minutes Uh oh And then you hear Oh No camera

Nothing on the back even It's just a fucking phone It's like a touchscreen Then the ass kickings can begin Yes I need it man That's when you could pull someone out of their car

fucking wail on him at a stoplight for driving like an asshole and get back on the road and go home. Nice sign. Yeah. Nothing else is going to pull the splinter out of my brain. I get it. I'm going to be permanently on edge unless I see some real

fucking real ass beating being done. That's what I'm saying, man. Less cameras. Bring back pagers. Yeah. Because when it was a quick thing on a pager, you're like, well, fuck, that's like just the amount ain't fine.

Help, I'm getting my ass. You give alpha manure. Give them the alpha numeric kinds. Help, I'm getting my ass beat by this guy. Call me when you're free, nope. Too bad. Beating someone's ass right now. Sorry, too busy.

Beating someone's ass. BSA. S2B. Someone to beat. Sorry, too busy. Beating someone's ass. I'm fucking sick of it, man. I can't take it.

I saw, I saw some real. momentum building and brewing and it's turned into please please turn down the rhetoric please won't somebody turn down the rhetoric no you have to turn it down these are bad guys you have to beat someone's ass what are you guys guys guys guys we got to turn down the rhetoric there's no we

they fucking hate you rhetoric needs to be turned the way the fuck down way the fuck up Their rhetoric is at a max Ours is that like A begging Ours is at like a negative 10 Turning to, when you turn to God You lost

Oh shit God I've turned to God once or twice Because I fucked up Oh shit God Been there man Please don't have the shit Please don't say there's shit on the couch There's shit on the couch

God damn it The real question is did it get into the inside of the couch? that was a miracle I pulled it off no okay otherwise it would have been trash

otherwise it would have been the trash in the trash I can't take it anymore I can't fucking take the turn down we gotta turn down the rhetoric

man you gotta turn up these nuts turn up the ass beatings you gotta turn up the ass beatings 2-11 that's fucking keyboard I keep seeing you reaching for it because I got these

sticker now I got these all over too little splinters of keyboard fucking broken keyboard I saw these fucking idiots talking about going to church today and I'm not like I'm not like a Reddit atheist I don't give a fuck what you believe in unless it's unless you're a woman and then you're everything you're believing in stupid yeah then it's just confirmed and it's just like all right you're you got no I mean Nothing coherent about your ethos at all

Here's what women believe in Everything I feel is the most important thing That has ever been felt in the whole universe At all times That's it Great, okay? That's not a belief structure Well, but if you put the words I believe in front

Then it is a belief in charge of it. Right, right, I got it. Everything is exactly the same. Okay, it's not complicated. But the other guys I don't care that you believe this retarded shit but you're like you're trying to make us all live by it and it's fucking sucks

it fucking sucks like if you really believe that shit I mean you should be giving away all your money you should be importing the third world if you really believe that you're going to fucking heaven what does it matter? None of this matters here take my money I don't take everyone's money I don't care I'm a good person

I don't want you to starve come out and in well that's take some more money that's how it's been ever since the invention of the Bible right that's how all the stories are like oh yeah like don't even don't trip on material possessions don't trip on any of that like god's not back anytime yeah all gonna be good we're good I'll live in a little uh hut shit in a hole meanwhile everyone else is having a fucking great time okay definitely not Nick what's funny about it is how what's funny about this roast is how Maddox is clearly so bad on stage yet for some reason he continually chooses to put himself on stage in

front of everybody yeah it's really a mystery isn't it we watched the roast battle between mike gams who apparently a lot of people know or have heard of yeah viny paulino has heard of him a friend of mine a friend of years yeah a lot of people know this guy and they all hate him and he sucks a comedy he's not funny he's even worse on stage and he's extremely liberal it was very hard to even have things to say watching that. It was bad. Like, oof. That was bad. Yeah, for some...

Yeah, he could call it quits at any time. But for some reason, he just can't stop himself from being a total embarrassment in front of everyone over and over again. I don't know why he appears... I wish you would do it more. If he came out in a cowboy costume with like a big ass fucking face... Yeah.

And then had like two cap guns and did the whole, like, revolver. like spin him around and then like in between jokes like fucking talk about what a fucking great cowboy he is and what a fucking big retard that guy is and then shoot his feet a couple times and then fucking like

make him dance you know if he came out and did that I would pay full ticket price I don't know every time yeah it's like these guys want to be their authentic selves and the authentic self

sucks like a sniveling worm like as afraid of everything nobody wants that shit they want a fake authentic self right they don't want this they don't want this i don't want to be here shit uh gentleman sausage says trump should announce that there was a study that showed that more the more philatio a woman performs the more likely any children she has later will be autistic yeah good solution i'm with you i'm with you on that one um a little complicated you're gonna have to simplify it feisty penguin you had me rolling at unc net yes

join us join the uncle join us on uncle uncle wide worldwide uncle web how would it be like unkscape get on unkscape

yeah we're bringing back neck the unczilla browser unczilla oh shit uh nop says uh i got a bit of sean's animal corner flashbacks when johnie started

talking about horseshoe crabs I mean what better way to memorialize such a great guy a dead guy should buy his hot sauce Sean hot sauce just hot sauce man

why is it always like asshole fucker and like I'm getting memorial fatigue now getting hot sauce fatigue I'm way past hot sauce fatigue Mark Dezar says I'm glad I watched that roast battle sober goddamn you know

you'd really think that they would show up to the roast battle with more jokes and roasts The Golem of Glendale was funny That's a good one Yeah But he should have rolled with more of those Yeah I thought it was going to be a bunch of jokes Like to have one of those

it's like having one bullet in your machine gun fucking vest right you're supposed to just get you're like da da da da you're the da da da da da da you're supposed to like

rattle them off and just like bombard someone with it yeah that's how you make people cry like yeah like the nutty professor yeah he's like

Reggie I got shit locks like that not check out this machine gun yeah where's the rest nothing uh Gwen

for Johnny's brain ride I found another Instagram of these AI botched necromancies and this one's bad okay cool let's see do do do do do

oh yeah come on Gwen yeah I know the decals is a it's a this is the bootleg one oh you already knew this one the decals well we covered this account yeah oh thank you for allowing us to create this

unforgettable moment. Oh, come on. Thanks for sending in such a fucking terrible one. Oh, it's a little baby. No. Flying away like a little fucking June bug. Why has he got to be wiggling his legs like that? Yeah.

Unreal. Someone paid for that too. That's the fucking most insidious fuck. Come on. I don't know what's worse is the fact that someone paid for that. charged for that. But somehow these people

sleep at night knowing what, or maybe not knowing what atrocity just they've created. Maybe they're just like, yeah, look at this great art I did. Ugh. Terrible. How am I supposed to Netanyahu's buying

TikTok controlling it, controlling the media, to brainwash me. How am I supposed to, supposed to phrase that to keep my accounts? How does... Oh, hey to Eunice. How does one let down a woman gently?

Oh. How does one let down a woman gently? I overthink and talk things to death. But in reality, she's too old and I'm not interested. it came out as I'm tired of people looking at me saying why can't he find a woman his own age oh well I place this grammar at about 25

out of the thousand how do you let down a woman gently you don't and you can't it's impossible to say I don't like you anymore more. I don't want to be around you anymore. That is the most correct. It's totally

impossible. Because if you haven't noticed, women freak out if anything is not under their control. Not you and your emotions, but literally anything. Something not being in alphabetical order in the pantry, a TV show

being in a different, not at the time that they thought it was. Literally anything could be showing up for something obviously late then they knew it was going to be late because they took too much time getting ready and they're there and they're late meltdown

even though it's always all of this was predictable they don't have control over time itself so thinking you're going to say a magical phrase that will not make them melt down is totally impossible but if you want to do it make a fake profile as a better as basically you but a little bit better looking and better

and start hitting on catfishing them as the new fake profile and then you just act like a worse version of yourself and then get them as the better version of you convince them to cheat on you and then they'll hopefully they'll do that or you can catch them cheating on you and then it's a good reason because they'll think they have somewhere another branch to you know another vine to swing to that's probably the

the most gentle landing, right? Yeah. A lot of effort. Yeah. In honor of Unctober, I would just say, play Edward Forty Hands, I'll by yourself. Yeah.

And call that, but don't even text her, just call her up. Yeah. And say, like, bitch, you old. And then hang up and go about the rest of your day. Forgetting you even said that and just go on about the rest of your day. Yeah, just block them. Yeah. Just block them and forget about it.

Unk style. Yeah, just leave. like that's why that's why men have this um hilarious history of just bailing on their families because there's nothing you can say really to and it doesn't matter it's the most enlightened way right because if you try to say something that's like you're trying to meet someone where they're at if you just like leave that's mysterious yeah explaining it is your way of working on the relationship that's how they're going to take that because you're giving them a problem to solve But if you just ghost,

it's, I mean, it's the best way for them because they get a villain story. You're never going to believe this guy ghosted me. And you, that's,

you don't, you're, you're doing what you feel, which is, I don't want to deal with you anymore. Right, yeah. I mean, that's,

that's honest. That's being honest. It's just, I don't deal with this person anymore. Block. Yeah, you must remember, uh,

actions speak louder than words. So if you block it bit, action speak louder than words. Then that's, everything you need to say. Yeah. You don't have to be harsh about it. You just go, bitch?

Yeah, because if you're a jerk, they're going to like take that as a sign of attraction. And if, well, and if you're nice, too. And if you're nice about it too, then we're like, he's trying to leave it open for, when really the only thing it matters is that they get a new man. They got to get the message to go get a new man. And by doing that, to do that, to deliver that correctly, you've got to block a bitch. You have to block her. Yeah

You have to block her So that she's So distraught another man notices And we'll come in and Fix it It's because your Your responsibility is to yourself Unkmaxing

Unkmaxing Don't explain yourself Don't I mean it's all Look the relationship's already fucked So What do you Somehow going to communicate this

No probably not It's a waste of your time Go listen to a bunch of two short records and then email back in. What's too short? He is, or no, sugar-free, my bad. Oh, what's that? Sugar-free, the rapper, who's like a fucking one of the funniest pimps ever.

Okay. It's great. Is he the one that's like, there's a bunch of viral videos of him? He's like, man, I'll tell a bitch to walk around the house with basketball if he wants to travel so bad. Shit like that. Words of wisdom like that, man. that to the hose? Do they get that joke even?

I don't know. But fucking when Sugar Free tells you, you got to fucking sit down and absorb game, man. Okay, do that. Yeah, go listen to a bunch of Sugar Free. Unk Max. Okay, you should Unk Max real hard and listen to a bunch of KRS 1 too and embody all four

pillars of hip hop. Wow. It was a secret fifth one, which is be on the party line, too. That's a good one. That's the secret fifth element. That's the fifth element the movie. Yeah, that's what the movie's about That's the movie's about, the party line

Okay, this one is SF says Eric July is working on his next Million Dollar idea. All right, let's see what it is Shit. It's cool? Is it just because he called it a million dollar idea? I designed the world's first America-shaped cruise ships. I've seen this. Oh, you have? It's a black guy that did this

looks like totally retarded trash looks like a paper machet America a shape of America the country with an American flag on it that's all crummy and lopsided and has the wrong amount of stars and he's

wearing a shirt that says support the first America-shaped cruise ship where the shirt is a little more accurate okay let's see my name is Carlisle Giller and I'm the inventor of the world's first

American-shaped cruise ship. But in order for these cruise ships to be a reality, I'm going to need tons of support. You can go on GoFund me and type in support the first American-shaped cruise ship and donate, or you can buy t-shirts on my TikTok shop. Let's watch the American-Shakeship float. Oh. Made of styrofoam, so I assume it'll float. So the National American Shaped Ships is going to be a reality for all of our families to enjoy it. That's great Is that it? Oh my name is Carcel

Yeah that's it Okay Uh I would type in the URL but I don't have a keyboard anymore Right Okay thanks SF

That's a good man Andrew Becker says 770 calories All right Let's see what sort of a video this is it's going to be some ladies drink oh it's a guy it's a guy

he's comparing a hamburger and fries oh really to one two three four five six seven eight nine shots of whiskey huh that's comparable I didn't know that I guess I haven't been having enough on these liquid liquid lunches Jesus

yeah Oh, okay, that's good to know. Thanks for sending that in. Jimmy Smith says CNC consensual, non-consensual. Okay. Thinking of the machines, that like... CNC machine, yeah. Cool.

Women have their own CNC. Not cool. Consensual, non-consensual. Okay, I think I get what that is. uh the girl i'm fucking wants me to stop being nice in bed how nice are you in bed oh please you're on a scale of one to british like thank you for the blow job ooh she says i should ignore her when she says no what she's saying no to what kind of weird shit are you doing like in Lost in translation when that Asian that hooker comes in and like his lip lip my

stockings yes and she's like no no and he's like just ripped her stocking a little bit just like no no like that that's what she wants so she's like the Japanese whore lip my stocking fucking no get away from me right that's what this guy's that's what he's doing I gotta rewatch that movie now he's like touching her boob and she's like oh no don't touch my boom, she's like, I want you to just ignore me when I say no, like a fucking, like a total mental patient, like just an exhausting, an exhausting mental patient, like dealing with a schizophrenic and trying to stay hard and drunk. Ooh, you get one of the three.

She says I should ignore her when she says no. How often are you, maybe a couple things would get a no? right like we'll be in bed sometimes and I'm like hey can you log into your Schwab account and let me see let me make sure all your assets are diverse if she's like no like ah fuck

yeah I'm like can you make sure all the bills aren't on auto pay damn it want to make sure they don't fucking take extra sometimes can you go into your Lulu account and put return and cancel order? No. Can you obfuscate all the credit card info and all your online shopping account? I'm going to come. Can you log into Lulu?

Can you log into Lulu refast and cancel that order? Uh, no. Really? Yeah. Fuck. Can you delete your Amazon account for me? Go to Amazon for quick. Yeah, hit delete.

Hit delete. Go to Amazon. Yeah, go to that bathroom organizing thing. Yeah, put return. Just hit put return. Put return on. You don't have to do it. Just click your turn.

So it gives you a QR code No Ah man Ah man Hey can you go on your calendar And go where it says Friends birthday Go to cancel event

I'm gonna come These digital fucking calendars Man What are you doing that she's saying no to I believe this is pretty normal No it's not Just like that baby It's cold outside stuff

But to me, it's a nightmare. Well, then it's not normal, you shithead. Don't second-guess yourself like that. I have zero ability to read subtlety. It's not subtle. This fool just said he's autistic. I am new to women. So I'd be glad if I'm just overthinking things.

If you're thinking at all with them, you're overthinking it. It's really... If you are annoyed, If the woman's saying or doing something and you are annoyed, that's the end of your thinking. God did all the thinking for you. Yeah, you don't got no autopilot? Hey, when we're in bed, if you feel annoyed, if I say no in bed, could you just keep doing it? Ah, I'm annoyed.

Thinking's done. I am new to women, so I'd be glad if I'm just over thinking. things I don't want to claim slash hide behind my autism what the fuck did I just fucking this guy's mom's pounding some Tylenol he just said I can't read subtlety I'm like oh yep just pounding the fucking Tylenol dude I'm I basically did what Trump and RFK said to do with vaccines with my son basically no hep B fuck off I don't think so chicken pox is suss Split everything up.

And now they're saying split up to MMR thing, too? Hmm, I didn't know about that one. I would have just let that one go. Good to know. But no Tylenol, dude, that's good to know, because they're like, they're telling you to give your baby that shit. Fuck that. Fuck that shit indeed.

I don't want to claim. Give him some codeine. Probably better. Give your baby. At least he won't make him gay. Some scissor. No, it'll just make him really like DJ Paul. It'll make him black.

Yo, what's wrong with you? Yo, my dad didn't believe in no Tylenol, so I got grape Drizank. I got a fucking scissor. I got scissor, yo, and he's got like a do-rag and stuff. That'd be the coolest baby ever. That's him as an adult, like at a management position.

He's got a do-rag. He's got your truck with spinners on it. Yeah. What's up? Yo, yo, what's up? What you got a do-rag on? Yo, my dad gave me sizurp instead of talanol. I wouldn't turn out gay

Instead of turn out Like you queer Playing Xbox 1 On the call Original Xbox Yeah I'm the regional director Fucking sales

Deloitte Whatever Are you playing that Xbox You're just doing this He's winning Number one in the world at it I'm number one I'm number one

Also I was wrong in my last email about her having small cans. The cans are great. Perfect in every way you can imagine. That sounds like a cope to justify the rest of his email. Man, I hate to tell you this,

but this bitch that you're seeing is crazy. It doesn't help that you're autistic too, motherfucker. It doesn't help. She spotted you from a mile away. This guy will tolerate. my stupid shit this guy will think it's captivating and interesting and not retarded

cork chungus maxing this fucking chungus she's going to start chungus maxing in bed if you're not careful oh fuck can't be having that you gotta have like a normal interaction

with women you can't be having this whatever you're saying it is I do something she says no and then and she's like do it anyway just to have a normal time people don't know how to be doing that tell her that you're not that you're sick of it just do normal stuff or just go way go way overboard and then start crying and ruin her thing that's cool yeah that's the coolest go way overboard and then

and then start crying answer was right in front of her faces the whole time you can lean into your autism for that one dear dick and johnny this is an outdated story at this point but i thought it'd be interesting for the show there's a muppet fan page that wasn't necessary there's a muppet fan page on instagram called muppet history where this guy posts wholesome muppet content but a year or two ago he started posting these huge sad apology posts out of nowhere apparently he was hitting on women that had muppet fan accounts from his own Muppet page and was a huge creep so several women came out about him there's some articles about the incidents and he still posts on the account go fuck yourself Bob

that's too bad got to ruin Muppets for everybody thanks for sending that in Bob let's see if I let me see if I can pull up one of these articles I can't fucking type it oh fuck that's right Is it starred at least? Uh God damn it Can I talk into Maybe I can talk into my phone

Check this shit out Muppet Yeah Oh it's right there at the top Muppet fan drama Ask it about Ravens What who Raven? Ask your phone about Ravens

What? Oh yeah the smallest Oh man they did him dirty The smallest amount of power A person can go mad with The Muppet History Fan page controversy explained

One of the people associated with the account Has apologized for making sexually inappropriate comments A vague apology from the social media account behind Jim Henson's Muppet history fan page unraveled one of the year's most unexpected social media scandals.

Created in October. The Muppet History account described itself as a fan page dedicated to continuing the spirit and silliness of Jim Henson. It had a million followers. Yeah. Okay. Last week, a lengthy apology was posted

the account's Instagram page. Before we dive into these concerns, we want to thank you for your continued support and encouragement. The apology read. In building this community, we've been overtly protective Confusing fellow fan accounts for competition What? Uh

The post ended That's not That's not about sexual stuff Uh Oh I messes I don't know Doesn't really seem like there's anything funny

Okay Um, mom versus dad Regardless of how you felt about Charlie Kirk The shooter getting turned in by His own dad is pretty gay of the dad So I ran my own survey Yeah, did you see that his dad turned him in? That's pretty gay

Yeah, that is gay He should have shot his dad Yeah How could you turn your kid in for just killing another random guy Classic Fuck the random guy Yeah

Classic what Classic unc wisdom man Snitches get stitches Yeah Like you shouldn't have done that But I'm not turning you into fucking police

Fuck who cares Well you know Are you fucked up Yeah Have them do their job though Yeah I always wanted to outrun the police I guess

Now we're gonna get to see If we can do it What's the What is the point of that Who are you scoring points with by turning your own kid in? Yeah, like. To the cops. Oh, so you could get to heaven, actually, that's what it is.

Is that what it is? Is that in the Bible? You've got to turn your kids in? Mm-hmm. So I ran my own survey between my parents and asked in that hypothetical situation if they would turn me in. My mom refused to answer and then ignore me. Ignored me. She would.

for sure yeah my dad a real N-word without hesitation said he wouldn't this is why I love my dad more

his loyalty is to his son over the state and then he had he attached to these conversations that he had that'd be interesting

I'm sure that there's retards that would like yeah of course imagine if the shoe was on the other foot you don't have to imagine I wouldn't for sure retards out there like that okay ma

this is his mom he says if I killed someone and you knew I did it would you turn me in what don't ask me that just answer it I didn't kill anyone just a hypothetical okay so she would and the dad fuck no that's fucking crazy same answer

yeah that is it is I guess that's why the kid was all fucked up though Shitty parents Okay You ready Here we go Fat watch Today and fat news

This is from Chad Clawhammer Uh Uh uh uh uh Says body positivity at its best Wow We've got a future Laker girl here or a former

a lake girl she's this is her trainer I guess she's got barn doors in her house sliding doors on the side in her in front of her pole room

oh Jesus no she's gigantic trying to climb a pole to do pole dancing. So it's a big fat black woman wearing very high stilettos. Oh my god.

Look at that pole's gonna give dude. Done. So she's about 280 pounds This big fat woman That's trying to scale a pole To do one of those twirl around moves Yeah And then we've got Tyra Banks over here

A stripper Pretending to coach her through it She can't even wrap her arms around her I don't know what this little skinny girl Think she's going to do here Besides break something It's like watching a Mario versus Donkey Kong Jesus

Why would you record this? I love this, gravity is just fucking sliding right on down Damn Was that the sound of the... Was that a mat? I hope. Whew.

Jesus. That's rough, man. Maybe pole dancing is not for you Mm-hmm Maybe Should be doing some beanstock Dancing Yeah

Maybe Maybe some FIFO fuming is for you Pull dancing is not for everybody Is that their motto Pole dancing is for everybody Because it's not you got to have two arms for example that's got to be a lot of rare earth metals being used for the strength of

the strontium pole of this titanium godrod no reaction from this woman when she falls too oh we don't get to see her okay absolutely no reaction from that a 300 pound woman falling off a pole Jesus

Okay, this is the case of that huge lift bitch has been settled Watch her force her girth into this huge van It was never going to fit into the sedan Oh yeah So this 500-pound Detroit rapper Dankt DeMoss Settled her lift lawsuit

After being denied a ride The driver was fired so she bought a van and now has her own chauffeur oh so this woman got this poor guy fired from lift because he said she wouldn't she couldn't fit in his car this lift driver denied me service bc of my size

I remember that yeah yeah believe me you can. Yes, I can. Believe me. So, I'm sorry. What I'm going to do about my money? I'm going to cancel. You're not going to be turned.

So you said, he could have ran into her with that car and it wouldn't have survived. Like, there's no way she would have fucking fit in it. Like, did she get money for this shit? Did Lyft buy her a van? That's fucked. Yeah, he should. They should have bought him something. I never took a straight path nowhere.

Life's full of Swiss and turns, bumps and bruises. That's crazy. Okay, is that all this is? Yeah. Wow. Okay, so Lyft bought her a van, I guess. Man. A big one, too, Sprinter van.

Not with her in it. Liam says, how did she get up there in the first place? Oh, let's see. A great question. Oh. Fat women and inflatable water slides Not a good combo Here is

She's a normal She's a normal size fat In the 90s this would have been considered obese Yeah still is but there's so much bigger now You can save 50 pounds Oh Damn I'm about to give this guy the fucking people's elbows

Oh no Jesus So she's climbed to the very top of the inflatable slide And she misjudged Gravity And she sat down at the top of the slide She forgot about that 9.8 meters per second squared or whatever She sat down on the top of the ladder

Instead of on the top of the slide And now she fell backwards back down the ladder God damn Took out a kid on the way down Holy shit Nothing beats a jet to holiday And right now God damn

50 pounds For those of you Who have medical professionals out there If you have any ER experience With some fat lady who fell off Something that they should have been standing on Please write or call in I got to hear about the aftermath

Oh wow That's 200 pounds Jesus oh and this guy saw the whole thing you think she sounded like the grape stomp lady afterwards oh oh oh oh oh

she's out of breath as fuck she's down she's down for good jet to holiday here we go it looks like whatever knees gives out it's crazy

like these women are ticking time bombs because you can never tell when or where just like up knees gone ankle's gone Wee Fuck

This one's from Kimble Let's see what you got here Bud Oh yeah A woman says During a date When she went to the restroom

Her date ordered food for himself But not for her He then remarked Given your size You don't need to eat anymore Okay I mean she's She's fucked up

She's so fat That her Her face is like Looks like it's gonna explode Well I think the left is a filter, and then the right is like her without the filter. There's a difference?

Not, well, the eyes are a little more fucked on one of them. She's got an L necklace for lunch. Yes. Okay, let's see. And while we was on a date, I went to the bathroom before the waitress had him. Or maybe it's not a filter, I don't know.

Because I had to make sure everything was... Why is there a picture of her being fat over here and then another picture over here? What is this format? okay or whatever because I had to use the bathroom stuff like yeah I went to the bathroom and when I came out I guess the wait the waiter we just never came so I'm waiting I'm waiting and I'm like he's like you're ready to eat and I was like yeah I'm ready to order he's like don't worry I already ordered for you I said okay but you didn't know what I wanted

he's like oh I know what you like everything trust me what of everything I said, okay, so the food gets there. And he has this beautiful set, a 16, all-flat limit, pepper, haze, and some french fries. And I was sitting there waiting for my food to come. He said, just wait, it's coming. So I'm looking at him eat. And I'm like, okay, can I get a fry? He goes, I know, your food is coming.

Just wait. Isn't there an internet colloquialism? Can someone get a French fry? I can't remember how it goes I borrow a french fry Here she is asking for a french fry Dude look at her weird ass head Look at this

That's something she's so fucking fat Look at this Are her teeth pointy Damn And after he was done See I think it's a filter Of some sort What is the filter?

Like a potato Pumpkin head filter I think she's supposed to be a black version of the The lady from Mulan who teaches you how to fucking what is it the headmistress or whatever right the waitress never came

I don't know that one he was like don't worry they're coming right now so then he did like this he did the sign like this so when the waitress got there she brings over the check and I was like I didn't

do my order he was like no it's fine they're gonna bring it. Don't worry. And the waitress was looking at him and I was looking at him. And she was like, what do you want me to do? He was like,

don't worry about it. Just go ahead and check. So when she brings back his change, he gets up, he's like, are you ready to go? I'm like, I didn't eat anything. He's like, trust me, you've had enough.

Excuse me? Okay. Okay. that's why I won't be going on on any dates that's why I sit home God please never

never go out on a day again I just stay to myself because I'd be damn I'd be motherfucking damn yeah on me again if you're if you're a woman over 250 pounds

you should not be on a date even 200 pounds well someone out there has the opportunity to be fucking hysterical find her you know obviously

find her, go out on date with her and do the same shit. Just keep doing that. See if you can get her. Like a better and better excuse. Yeah. Yeah. Keep leading her on like more elaborately every time. Have her food come out, spill it. Oh, exactly. Yeah. It's like, damn it.

Well, you know, that was the last... I swear I'm not one of those guys. That's just doing this to you. Look, I know you've had too much, but I don't think that. A bartender can't serve you if you're a shit-faced. Right. You know, they could get sued if you go out and run over a bunch of kids or run through a church or something. Waiters shouldn't be able to serve you if you're that fat.

You've got to go eat rice at home or something. Go outside and eat some grass until you get back to a normal size that I can serve you. You'll stand out there with the rest of the herd, tubby. Get out of your fat self. Fucking fat. We got to do something. We've got to do something.

Fatso is such a great. Get out of here, Fatso. It's so... It's like not bad, but it's cutting. Man, how do you look like that and decide that you need to go on a date? Where did they get the self-confidence to do that? That, yeah. A woman pays a butler to wipe her ass?

What? Notice how they spelled butt. Butler, too. Woman pays a butler $2,000 a week to wipe her ass at all times? What? Oh, it's just like a girl with a disgusting ass implant? I just do that? Well, for me, it's difficult. That's why I have a butler. That's why I have a butler. I really, so for me to wipe, okay, so this is the toy. Okay, so let's say I'm your but I want you to show me about that. So she's like, she's fat, but normal on. top and then her ass is like four feet across. She was a minotaur that got in a car accident. My butler needs to like okay so when I finish and I have like to be this and he helps me. He just like he did this very fast. This guy's loving it. This

sickos. He's hyped yeah. Yeah let me see how to do it. Can I do this? I do it for free. Oh he did say that. Okay I I don't want to see this fetish shit. I don't want to see this fetish shit. All right, Johnny, what do you got? Oh, man. Do I got something fucked for you today? I actually have a fat watch if you go to the bottom. Wait, let me play your theme sound. Okay. Well,

there is a fat watch at the bottom if you want to do that first. We're still in fat watch territory. Good point. So I called this probably why your neighborhood stinks. Oh! It's a fat woman that's on like a twerking machine. Just clapping them cheeks

Fent over Some sort of a With an open garage With her asshole Facing out to the Open sewage line Like This is obscene

It's fucked right The music doesn't help at all But What exercise is this It's a Butt clamp An asshole Stretching exercise

I thought it was a mating ritual at first Then I was like I think you're probably right It's a poisoning ritual Okay now Now for the brain rot stuff That was just the one I have so many good fat things

But that's for a secret organization That is foul If you want to play the theme song now Yeah let me find it Okay Yes Here we go Thanks again Reverend Scott

Johnny's Brain Run Cool. Well, today, Dick, I brought in some real humdingers, if you will. No poop stuff, right? No poop stuff. Okay. So this is the NWA Blasters Club. Okay.

Why they call themselves that? And who they are. Okay. A loadout check. This is the N-W-A Blasters Club. N-W-W-A. Blasters Club? All right, let's see.

My load-out is primarily a sinful with a 35-round drum. It's Nerf stop. A Maxim Pro with five magazines. Yes. Two Adventure Force cricket pros. But I use the Ferringers. A pair of outlines.

There's a guy dressed stuff like uh you tell us a bunch of holsters in your hat crocodile dundee are entirely custom made holsters that I made myself did the design cutting dying everything done with

this is the first time I watched one of these and was like thank you hawk appreciate you I died a little inside okay so this guy's he's got dressed like crocodile dundee's got a leather vest and a hat and instead of alligator teeth in his hat he's got Nerf

starts, and this is all of his Nerf stuff for Nerf wars fighting. Fucking Halo and Autism fucking really just took its toll on a lot of motherfuckers, man. I'm not going to say that I

I'm not going to say that I don't want to play this, because I do want to play with Nerf shooting guns. I'm sure it's cool. But these guys aren't fucking doing oh yeah, check out some of the other videos too. Okay. Okay, it's a, it's a Nerf shooting club, Nerf Fun Club, all right.

That's chosen ND, is it Nerf with attitude? I think it's a Northwest Arkansas. It's got nothing to do with N-words. Well, everyone there is white, so you tell me. Northwest Arkansas Blasters Club. What do you mean NWA? What's wrong with that? What do you mean I can't blast the NWA's? Oh.

Oh. Hi, I'm Jessica Markey. Oh, you're missing the best part. that I custom-pated all delivery. Siegel Gung. It's a spring of puff action, fire one of time. I get a few mags on in my person. Lately, I've been running a little buckler shield.

It's surprisingly effective for household, because it covers pretty much my entire torso. And... Covers my tits. Yeah. The sword, too. Nice. I don't know what the...

Awesome. Fuck is going on out in northwest Arkansas, but they need to stop it. Tylenol factory up there. It's getting into the water. It's leaching Tylenol into the water. It's still right into the fucking water. So yeah, that's our first clip for today. Johnny, I have to watch more of these.

I'm afraid. That's why I find these accounts. I'm using an X-shot motorized piston pump with a shorter barrel, so it's our cap. Got on my magic side pouch. I'm going to die. Blasters. So, you know, just a low-profile setup. Awesome.

Thank you. Thank you, Scott. It's just guys who want to say words, man. I'm a contractor for this. This is my low-profile loadout. This is like a... I just wish everyone would stop. You know what else pisses me off, Dick?

I thought about this because you're old like me, right? You remember when installers were called wizards? Yeah. And you remember when applications were called programs? Yeah. What happened to all that, man? Wizards? Wizards.

I don't know, we need those back. Let the wizard guide you? Now it's just an installer. Man. I need that fucking wizard back. I need some whiz. Is this an actual game that they're playing? You know, I didn't even get this.

Oh, yes, it is. No video, though. It looks like it. You know, for all of wearing fucking gopros on their heads, you'd think fucking... Get some body cam. footage of that come on well it looks great but I I want to see some video guys This is not actually Boba Fett and I'm here to show you the final condition kind of like so

Kind of like that Jesus Christ I don't know what it is. It's like a, it's a Nerf gun that shoots seven darts at a time at the same time. It's got like two wheels or something inside that are just spinning and then it just dumps a bunch of darts down. I can see that it wasn't made properly. I can hear that. Okay.

What's next? Yeah, if you feel like being an NWA blaster. Okay. So this one, I call this a guy who's taking, who's handling his divorce particularly well. This is a Sir Anthony an artist. So he does cameos, but he plays guitar

and stuff too. Okay. John, Sir Anthony. John Alias, John Box 13, Chinbon, and Mort. Look, your brother, STX, somebody to send this. He's got a picture of himself on his desktop in the background.

The lady birthday on 628. His guitar happened. front of his speaker. Wait, what the fuck is happening in the background? Yeah. Is that, oh, is this, like, stuff that he put on the video? It's like, stickers he put on, but yeah, it's all just like... Is he trans?

Or is he just weird? He's weird. Okay. This is why I think he's handling his divorce particularly well, or rather not, actually. Okay. If he's either doing videos of, like, cameos like this. Yeah. Or, like, someone pays him to say happy birthday or whatever.

Yeah. Or he's driving around in his Corvette. okay talking about or he's doing terrible guitar shredding too oh no i love that for between the shirt the hair the spray tan the fun like everything about this guy it's like the like his wife must have left him when creed was still popular because he just like why do you think he's married he was married well because why else would you freeze in time like this if it's not for some like catastrophic yeah i see what you're saying okay i had to give my my note that here, so sorry. He said you're a very mysterious fellow, likely to have many skeletons in your

closet. But there's no way he's not drunk off of his ass in every single one of these videos. He said you're very driven in your career in biotech, and you're looking to crossbreed monkeys and humans in order to get better pharmaceutical rigs. So I think someone fucked with him on this one. Yeah. It looks like you got a lot on your plate there. But he doesn't get it. He's like just goes right over his head. And so that's why, like, if you click on this page, it's just as tragic. But he was, like, his first post is, like, a pinned one, like, oh, I'll talk to you about

anything even. Like, fuck it. He's just like... Peptox. Ask me anything. Advice. 35 likes. How do you find this shit? Dude, I'm telling you, my explore feed is... Jesus Christ. Yeah, sorry. My explore feed is a disaster. But here he is, poorly mixed.

Seeing what ain't going on. As usual. He's either got Down syndrome or like extreme alcohol. This is the best down. This is one finally made it. Right. You know? But he's in a closed garage with his car on.

Like absolutely getting fucking carbon monoxide poison. Has any Down syndrome person ever won the lottery and like made it big? I don't know. But this guy. They let them play the lottery? All of his shirts came right out of early 2000s. Like, everything about this guy is great. Okay, this is Sir Anthony.

All right. And that's the thing is, like, he's not knighted anywhere officially. Like, why the... You can't hear... And you can't hear a fucking thing he's saying, and I name is videos. Right. Okay.

He's great. Okay. So this is weekend at Bernice's. A little darker in tone. Um, so... No. We've had lots of digital necromancy, even bootleg necromancy. Now I bring you IRL, you know, there's the Nigerian funerals where it's like they dress you up in like a toy car or whatever your profession was, right?

This, they had her frozen ass out for 15 hours and she started melting. I'm going to throw up. This is a corpse? They have standing up? Yes. In what country? Does it matter? Well, I hope it's not America.

I actually hope that too that you're mentioning it yeah uh this oh god they have the knees

bent forward a little bit so she this service was 15 hours long she started to melt and now she's wearing a dress dude Now she's holding a baby Jesus? And they're dabbing her off, too, because she's fucking melting.

Oh, and she had the baby, too, is great. Oh. Oh, my God. Pretty horrible. So I called this an Indian haircut. And there's a great observation. Okay. Okay, Indian hair cut.

It's an Indian guy with the salt and pepper goatee, and he's got a pretty trim hair do. Yeah, looks good, right? Yeah. That's how he cuts his hair. He rips his hair out of his head? He's sitting there pulling every single fucking hair out of his head. And it's taking him so long. Like, it's starting to grow back.

It's starting to grow back. It's taking him so long. Like, look, it's all... Oh my God, no, he's ripping all of his hair out of his head. One by fucking... Oh, ew! Ew! Why would he do this?

Why do they do this stuff? I have no idea. But God damn, let me tell you, when I saw that at fucking three in the morning, I left that on loop and just... of laughing and laughing So this one's called Straight Drop Now the backstory on this is This is like vintage brain rot

At least in my world We definitely need the audio for this one So I found this forever ago And to see it re-uploaded makes my soul happy So this guy is a crack dealer And he's fucking with one of his customers Okay How so?

We were about to find out Yeah All right He just keeps saying straight drop Straight drop Straight drop Straight drop Straight drop

Just fucking Fucking fucking losing it String draw How can't be How can Mr. Beast How can Mr. Beast doesn't do this? Right We fucked with a hundred crackheads

Yeah, after he just blast it off We fucking flash the lights on it off Please. Okay? Stop me. Stradra? Stop it. Stop.

Stop. Stop. What is? What is? Stop D. Stry. Stop being. The whistle.

A whisper guilty. What is? Stop. Stop. Strud. This guy looks terrified Straight drop So it's hard for me

D, stop the bullshit So it's hard for me most days Not to just be like D stop the bullshit, man, thanks Straight drop. So, yeah, straight drop. And do you stop the bullshit, man? Thanks.

It takes a lot in me not to quote those daily, because, again, straight drop. Was that it? That was it. Just some, you know, just some, I figured we'd get to it later in the day today. So, you know, straight drop. To whisper the, straight. I didn't know crack was so fun, yeah. Strange.

You got to get other people on it. Uh Straight The woman who'd pounded Tylenol to spite Trump, she died of liver failure Straight drop. straight drop the fucking lights flicker when he starts laughing too

it's just like I recognize that shower head that he had the crackhead had I was like this one where is it oh it's gone it's straight

the shower head oh yeah oh fuck I had one of those shower heads at one point uh oh oh there it is straight drop oh that was a bad I recognize everything in this in the shower

actually. Strait drive. D. Stop the bullshit, man. Thanks. All right. Goodbye, everyone. See you, everybody.