The Dick Show - Episode 483 Dick On Goat Milk

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

SNAP covers DoorDash and other astounding facts, a lesbian-run bar has no alcohol, poorly layed cement, I'm sick on Halloween, Tucker Carlson interviews Nick Fuentes, Bill Gates changes his mind on climate change, some old hags complain about Sydney Sweeney's boobs, India has a feces festival, blue collar jobs, and a woman makes dolls out of dead minks, and I need one; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Discord. Let's see if Discord is up. Someone should make a dat chord. It's black Discord. Oh, we're over on dat cord. Okay, live show. All right. Discord name's so good. Daddy's money.

Okay, streaming. Let's see if this is working. Yeah, Daddy's... I don't know why people... I don't know why people try to hit me with that Daddy's money shit. Yeah, that's implying that your dad would ever let any of it go. I mean, he's great, but why would I... Who cares? That's awesome. Yeah. That would be great, yeah. Please. I'd have a better deck. You know what I would have? If, uh... If I had my dad's money

Let me pull this... Actually, he... Well, his stuff is all fucked up too. Right. Because we both have this thing where like we're not gonna pay for it. Well, that's what I mean is the implication

that he would let a red cent go to you. His stuff is all fucked up as well. He's got the same... I mean, he's got money. But he does it all himself too and like low balls it and picks up fucking guys. I mean, I've been fixing my own car.

Guys you got green techs at Home Depot. to fix up his shit. He's got... And I... And I'm gonna have it too. And I hope this would never happen to me, but I'm gonna have it fucking too. Two separate pieces...

Two separately poured concrete slabs touching each other. And I... Because if you go to my parents' house, he kind of... He just pour his slabs wherever he wants, right? He's like, well, we need a patio here. I'm gonna pour a slab. The patio should be a little bigger.

I'm gonna pour a bigger slab. So it's like a square, and then it's a big... And it's a bigger thing around it. Let me... Fuck. Let me... Let me try to find this.

So, it's the two slabs touching. And you can always tell, you know, looks like shit. And I've always thought, growing up, I'd always look at it. I was like, why don't you just do this? You know, why don't you do this right the first time? I'm never going to do this. It's like tree rings. You can always tell which one was there first by the shades they are.

Yeah. Yeah. Is this fucked up again? Stream Labs. Is this fucked up again? Oh? No, it's working there. Holy shit.

Holy shit. Which one was there first by the shit? All right. Yeah, great. All right, that's working. That's great. Let's see this. Let's see this to start.

Vimeo's probably not working. I don't know why Vimeo's just not working lately. Did it ever work? It did. It worked briefly. You know what always works great at Vimeo? The credit card charging. I was just about to say.

They have. that really nailed. They have that locked in. 1159 at 59 59 seconds and fucking 999 399 frames. Okay, I'm gonna swap this. I think I know what's wrong. I think I

actually might have done this. Let me see if I can Yeah, it's working. Hey! Motherfucker, man. So my my dad would have these conjoined patchwork pieces of cement slab all over the backyard, like leading and you can kind of see

evolution of the landscape where the cement changes like from one strata down to another. Oh, I don't know what, I don't know how they were mixing cement in the year 1997, but it's a little bit different than the year 1992. It's like Roman concrete all the way to American concrete. So I get, I get, um, is this working? Let's see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is working fine.

And this is working. Stratta down to. So I have these guys come out to, to fix. to begin the unfucking of my deck and backyard after the city made me rebuild a perfectly good deck because the geological samples said it would only last for 300 million years would be grossly stable for 300 million years based on the data they had so of course I had to redo it

according to the code that changed during COVID I don't want to get into that right now we have much more pressing matters ahead so they come out and they put my mailbox up at, you know, nine feet in the air, because it's like it's a food trap for bears, like to keep food away from bears. And then they poured some cement

at the bottom of the stairs on the side of the house. I said, oh, this will look nice, right? No more tracking mud into the house from the dog. This will be nice. This will be nice for everybody. Put a little gate there. I had some chicken wire that I, like, zip tied to my deck in the neighbor's yard

and the neighbor's fence. It's like, oh, this looks like shit, whatever. So I said, come out, you know, I hired this guy to come out and pour cement. What was this? The start of this was that the daddy's money shit. Right. Yeah, the start of this was that, I don't know, how would my life be different with daddy's money, whatever it is? And it wouldn't be because I'm just too cheap.

I could cheap out on everything. And here's the example. I hired this guy, and I know right away, I'm like, ah, you're not going to do a good job. Honestly, I'm going to say this. I'm fucking I'm sick of Mexicans Let me just put that out there All right I'm sick of it

I'm fucking sick of them They put the numbers So they put my mailbox Back on the front of my house First you can The patchwork paint shop Let's just you know They can come back and redo that right

They're gonna have to redo that And they said well the wood shrinks I said all right well Yeah maybe for you So how long does it take the shrink They put the mailbox up at nine feet tall So they come back Do it again

Put it at a normal height and put the numbers back on. You forgot the fucking numbers to my house. Which fucked me again. A third time? No, with you. Oh, shit. You sent me a birthday cake. We did Weight Watchers on Wednesday.

Absolutely incredible episode of Weight Watchers. I feel a weight removed from my shoulders after that one. That show is really the end for me. That's going to be the one that lasts. This show will. die. Biggest problem is definitely going to die.

The Way Watchers will continue, you know? There will always be a fat woman needing to be chastised. They're getting fatter and fatter. We talked about some influencer that got,

they arrested a fat woman, an influencer. Did Vinnie bring that in? Carl did. Carl brought that in? She's doing, like she's doing her fat influencer videos where she's talking about her

channel. She's breaking it down for you, you know? This is going to be all about body positivity and stuff. This channel is going to be all about like fat acceptance and loving your body. And then Carl cuts it to. She's in the hospital wrapped up in like flags from a used car dealership, crying about getting her phone call. The hospital won't admit her because she's too fat and there's nothing wrong with her. So they arrest her.

She's been bouncing from hospital to hospital trying to get attention. Getting more schizo too. Yeah, increasingly schizo. She's having multiple health crises at the same time. Mental and physical health crises. She's having a diabetes crisis. So the cops have to come and arrest her by rolling... The police have a tarp for arresting fat women.

That's what we learned on Weight Watchers this week. It's an important show. It's an important service that we're doing. The cops, it's not just a regular tarp. Like it's a blue, you see like a blue tarp or something? It is a legit sea world tarp that's reinforced with canvas straps so that the cops can roll a fat bitch in and pick them up like the fucking forearm forklift and lug her ass into the fucking battle van, the butter van that they bring out to arrest this fat bitch at the hospital. While she's screaming, I can't breathe They have her in like a

Like a U position, you know, like a fish position Oh, I can't breathe I can't breathe Like yeah, no shit bitch You couldn't breathe sitting down either Yeah, at no point Could you have breathed?

You haven't breathed right since Since 400 pounds ago, right? You haven't breathed right for 20 years You haven't breathed right since puberty What are you talking about? You haven't breathed right right since the dollar menu. Oh, man.

Is Snap can't? Is Snap done? Is Snap out today? It's November 1. I don't know. Nothing's on fire. Oh, man, I've been sick. I got sick on my birthday. So go watch Weight Watchers 3. Unbelievable show. We had Taylor from P.A.

John breaks bad news calling in. John did this hilarious bit where he fucked up his audio. The sound of the sun. I got to do a checklist for next time. Everyone, Vinny, take off all your settings. Everybody take off all your settings right now. Just do it. I'm going to send a fucking squad out to...

I don't know why I'm always so worried about starting late, but it's like, what are you doing? Just relax. Doing this for 12 years. Just fucking relax about... Starting late, but I... Starting late today. Because I'm...

I was sick. Actually, I pretended to be sick just because I wanted to get rid of my wife and my son for two days. I'm like, honey, I'm sick. You better go stay with my parents. She's like, I'm taking this baby out of here. You're like, yes, I'm so sick. I wondered while the windows were open and the fans were blowing

when I got in. I should have turned on the air fucking purifier thing. So the guy... You're trying to get more sick. Yeah. Get him bringing in more sickness. My mom says, Yeah, I'm not surprised because he was drunk last time I saw him about me getting sick.

You know, Mom, if I got sick every time I was drunk, I'd have AIDS. Okay? So let's not blame the alcohol. It'd be double magic Johnson. I go out for one night. My parents babysit our son for one night so we could go to the gay and lesbian theater center. You're never going to believe this. The Gay and Lesbian Center has a great theater.

Shock of the Century. Dude, we went to the Gay and Lesbian Center the first time out without a kid. And I said, hey, guess what, honey? I'm getting fucking hammered tonight at the Gay and Queer Center for Lesbians. Baby, you better buckle up. I'm getting fucking shwasted. Tonight and we get to the gay and lesbian and queer center for theater in Hollywood. First of all Our friends show up. What a nightmare of a night. There was a dog parade, like a dog, a Halloween

costume parade. And my wife, God bless her, she was a great teacher. But it means like it bleeds into the home life sometimes where like I find myself doing like math worksheets during dinner. Like, wait a minute. Why am I doing? How did I get tricked into doing multiple? application tables. How's this? How did this happen? In bed. She's like, can you spell couch? Like, get the fuck off of me. No, it's a dog and pony show. There's a big dog parade. And we've always wanted to go, but I've always been too hung over, except for this year. So I'm like, all right, well, you know, this could be good. So she's like, well, let's go as Jurassic Park. I'm like, okay. Put a little hat on the dog and put a hat on the

baby yeah that's great she's like yeah but we need like more we need to like do a jeep we need to make a stroller into the jeep from Jurassic park and uh we should go as uh you know i said okay we'll go as like i'm like the lady laura durn it's shit that always sounds like a great idea like because we're new parents that kind of shit sounds like a great idea but anyone with kids is thinking it like oh what an idiot right must be new here so we spend the day putting our Jurassic park jeep together and my parents are like oh we'll come out

and we'll come out and walk with you and watch the kid when you go to the gay and queer and lesbian theater center afterwards and we

start going and it's like really hot so I'm just like soaked and sweat and the baby instantly begins to scream so it's basically

for no reason it's me in like tight black pants and a black dress shirt trudging with a shitty looking Jeep with a Jurassic wagon with the Jurassic Park logo on it and my wife carrying this fucking monstrous screaming kid with the

Dolophisaurus head hanging off of them just a total nightmare um and then we did that we did that for like 10 minutes or whatever the dumbest amount of time to spend that much effort on this is the teacher part that's coming through. Then we immediately went to the gay and lesbian center. Our friends picked this up. My friend comes in, our gay friend comes in wearing a Satan costume.

So he's like, it's like an all red poncho with horns. And the baby sees that and just goes, right when he gets calmed down. Our friends come in. And they're like, hey, what's. He's a, hey, what's up? And he goes, ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Like, you know, red's the only color he can see. So you basically walked in like Schindler's list, the end of Schindler's list, like, looking like a fucking nightmare. Fucking red guy from cow and chicken. Yeah. Looking like the red guy from God, he's like, oh, oh! I'm like, all right, well, have fun with that, mom. I'm going.

Jesus fucking. We get to the gay and queer and lesbian center, and I'm like, all right. Time to get fucking, time to get fucking obliterated, baby. Buckle up. Daddy's getting, daddy's got nine months of drinking to do. walk up to the bar. I ignore all the anti-Trump shit. Totally block it out of my mind.

And I say, hey, two lesbians running the bar. I say, that's a bad sign. I said, I'd like your, I'd like your stiffest drink, please. And she goes, sure, you want red or white? I said, what are you talking about?

You mean white rye? Do you mean red, Yagermeister? What are you talking about? She's like, no, we've got wine. And I said, what else? He goes, uh, water. I said, okay.

You guys put the wrong gays in charge of the bar here at the gay and lesbian and queer theater center. This place used to be a shithole, you know? This used to be up on McAdden. It used to re-it used to feel like AIDS. It used to look like AIDS from the street. You just look at it. You don't even look at it while you're driving down the street because you might get AIDS. Looks amazing now.

All the runaway youths. It looks state-of-the-art now. I can't get a theater. I can't perform in a parking lot. And the gays and the queers in the lesbian center have this beautiful, wonderful state-of-the-art theater. And what are they serving? Fucking lesbian bar.

Gay, gay theater, lesbian bar. I said, this isn't going to work. This isn't going to work for anybody. So I turn to Satan. I said, we got to go. Let's go. We walk down the street. You walk down the street, man.

The gays have bought up like every property. They're expanding. It's crazy. It's crazy! We walk down the street to the liquor store and it's like studio. It looks like a gay-ass liquor store. I said, wow, this is nuts, man. Everything is nice here.

Everything's actually really legitimately nice here. That's like Hillcrest, too. Yeah. What's Hillcrest? In San Diego. It's like the gay area. It's like really fucking nice. And then you get anywhere outside of it.

You're like, oh. This is a shit hole outside of it. Yeah. This is really nice. You guys got to keep doing this. Whatever you're doing. But you got to, don't put the, the lesbians in charge of even the bar.

Don't put them in charge of anything. And we both know why, I told them. We both know why. It's all about alliances. It's all about alliances. Okay? Life is all about alliances. You got to align

with the gays against the lesbians and the women. You know who Scott Bessente is? the Treasury Secretary, Treasury Secretary. I just found out he's been rolling over, he's been rolling over everybody, like steamrolling people, he punched Elon Musk.

He just, he lays out senators, you know, like nailing him with stuff, doesn't give a fuck. I found out this week he's gay. And I said, oh, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. This guy is, and I don't think they know because he looks like this lantern giant. He doesn't look gay.

You know, you know. He's a turbo gay. He's like a turbo gay. He's like a turbo Chad Chud gay He's like Chud Max gay He's like Chud Max gay He's calling women out

Because he doesn't give a fuck That's funny yeah You know they can't take cock away from him They can take pussy away from me Happens all the time Brainwashing bitches Against me Having my whole life

Take pussy away no problem They can't take cock away from you You always can get some cock That's what the gays have That's their superpower you know Like what are you gonna do Take cock away from me good luck. It's cocks everywhere.

It's like dealing with aliens. Yeah. What are you going to take from the aliens? They just go away. The spaceship. Queerville. Cocktown. Cock planet. They got as much cocks they want over there. You can't fuck with them. Actual dick and balls spaceship. They built a fucking little... They built their own little compounds. In the middle of hell they live.

Looks beautiful down there. Free fucking parking. Free fucking parking. No one's shooting up. Well, there was a couple people I shot shooting up. Some guy was training a... A little dog that had shoes on out of the back of his car On the walk to the liquor store I'm like I don't like what's going on here But I don't have time to fuck with you gays today I gotta go to the gay liquor store and buy some whiskey

So I pounded the whiskey and then the gay guy doing the one-man production of Silence of the Lambs Which was awesome Brought a backpack of Jello shots and I'm like this is the guy they should have put in charge of the bar here Yeah, this is the correct The L's can be in charge of the drapes but the G's have to be in charge of the bar. You guys fucked up. And then we went home

and my mom basically threw the screaming baby child at us as we walked through the door like the immaculate I don't know what I don't know a football play where it's like an underarm path my mom runs out the door with the baby

and basically chucks it under her arm at me so she doesn't get a whistle blown on her for you know forward pass I think is the proper sports metaphor. It's queermandering, the Tony says. They're doing queer mandering in Hollywood. And my mom chucks it out. My mom, we put the key in the lock,

and she busts out the door like the Kool-Aid man. She's sick of it, I guess. We checked in on the baby once. Pull up the baby cam, right? And the only thing we said is, you know, put the baby in. We put a book on the bed, so it's like at a tiny degree angle

to stop the reflux, stopped the baby from throwing up. So he's like a very slight incline, right? So just make sure the baby's head is at this end. Checked in on the camera once. The baby flipped the wrong way around. I'm like, okay, well, that's our fault. We should have wrote, should have drawn a little picture on the sheets.

Yeah, you're going to be like a body trace. Yeah, should have done that. Or carve out the foam, so he only fits in one. You got to carve the foam. And even in that brief amount of time, of chucking babies under arms she still managed to determine that I was drunk and that's why

I got sick on my birthday Unreal Well that is why you got sick It probably is God punishing you yeah I probably been sick half my birthdays Fucking sucks Dude people think the weirdest shit makes you sick

Like I had this runner from Chile one time And he We asked him to clean the freezer out Yeah And he was like well I don't want to get sick what are you talking about? And he's like, well, yeah, if I'm standing in the cold, wiping it out too long, I'll get sick. And I was like, get the fuck back to Chile, wherever the fuck we found you, like, clean the fridge now, too.

The free, yeah, lick it all. Clean with your tongue. What the fuck is that? Like, ah, I'll get sick from the cold. Oh, from the cold. Of course, silly me. Yeah, I don't know what gets you sick. I should test it on me because I get sick all the time.

Dude, I think, I think, um, I think, um, every day when you wake up and you see the deduction from your bank account it wears it. It does make me. That's my end of the year. I'm like,

why must I run down? I'm like, oh, that's right. Probably all the hatred in my heart. No, that's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me going. Yeah, that's making me healthy. That keeps me warm at night

when I'm refusing to pay for the heating bill. Okay, let me play the theme song. People will flip out. Queer mandering. Do more of it. Great, man. Give one half a half a little.

House, one house in the bad neighborhood. Get that shit up. Yeah! Welcome to Dick. You want to take you love Dick, you need to get it. It's the show, ribbons, contest. It's going to lie from Mount Bunker. Deeper and all the city of failure.

I mean, I was Dick Masterson, aka the $20 million man. Joining me is always world touring. No, you're not. Is Sean the Animal Engineer Game Ace? Johnny, the audio engineer. You beat that first level? Man, that game's like top gun.

I bet Sean would love it. I could not figure out how to get past the first. level of the Sean Animal Corner game. There's a sick part of me that hopes he never talks to us again, only because he's so busy playing it. He's locked in. He's like, I gotta be. He might fucking never talk to us again, that son of a bitch.

I don't think he will, man. Now, what is this that you sent me? This is from down the street, huh? Yeah, so I was driving in today. And, you know, I just always, I got an eye for things, right? Yeah, you do. And there's one of those booths. party stores at the bottom of the

bottom of the hill and I went what the fuck is that? Yeah. And so I drove past it. It was actually, I turned right onto the street and it put me out right there. And I see this and go, what the fuck? It's like a black face milar balloon. It's a

it's a smiley face but it's entirely black and it's obviously black face. It's not like it's like Mr. Popo levels of just like, wow, that's you're really going for. It's like little fucking Sambo, dude. It is.

This is a blatant black face balloon. Yeah, there's two of them. But the thing that really gets me that sells it is they have little like dreads. They do have little dreads.

That's what I like... Where do I live? I don't fucking know. Nazi Germany? And they gave her a little dress. Like a little sun dress. Yeah, so that one has a dress. And then the other one has her tits out,

her stomach rolls out, and her lymphedema out. they gave so they have a little black face balloon and it's a mexican store obviously party decor express happy Halloween I almost bought them both where they're making this I have no yeah like where the fuck they got that I have no idea but you know they have you can't just buy one or two those you get them in bundles of like a hundred a thousand well it's the same place that makes like the the goofy sponge bob pinatas yeah like what what factory makes that.

It just... They're making a lot of them. Two hours south of here, yeah. And apparently, at that factory, they're like, you know, eh, pues, let's throw in some black face balloons. What are we going to do with all these black balloons? Like, I don't know, just put a smiley face on it.

With very red lips and very white eyes. And dreads. That's the part that fucking... I was like, man... This looks like Britney Venty's Halloween costume. It looks like in old cartoons when someone gets a cigar blown up in their face. Yeah. And then they have like, then they just do

the whole blackface thing to them. But it's really... I need all of these. I need to buy them in case they get discontinued. Give me five minutes after the show to get to the bottom and you back up. I'm sure it'll cost all five bucks. Well, I need to get a balloon to tie to my son's arms because it's like funny

to watch them do that. Maybe I'll go down and I'll go down and pick these up today. That'll be fun for me. Like, hey, do you got any more of those balloons? So the guy that did my... repainted the front of my house that I was telling you about. Oh yeah. I said, come back and move the mailbox and fix everything.

And by the way, there's one more thing. Come out here. Let me show you the back where you did the cement, where you laid the cement down. And I said, come over here so you can look at it from the side. It's a cement slab right against my fucking deck, right? The deck was perfect until they made me start fucking with it. And then the poles got crooked and the wood,

the Treks bottom got the nice rounded edges chopped off. And it got like covered in this cement like film. Yeah. Because they're doing all kinds of shit. And I said, come here. Come on to the deck and look at the cement slab you poured from the side. And I said, look at this. Look right down the front of it.

And it goes, I swear to God, it goes like this. Wah, 10 degrees. 10 degrees off. Like not even, not anywhere close 90 degrees. And then I look in his eyes because this is, I just want to see what's going on in the mind, you know? And he's like, oh. And he kind of turns his head. I decide like a dog trying to understand.

Like, you don't need to perform. Like, you know it's fucked up. You can tell that it's fucked and he's like, um, you know, yeah, it does appear to be a little fucked up. All right. Well, just so you know. Just so you know that I know. Do you store that in your, I'm going to show you white people society?

This is what we, in white people culture, this is what we introduced this fuck up so that you can learn for later, even though it doesn't benefit me person. He goes, you know what I'll do? He said, you know what I'll do? I'm going to come back. I'm gonna pour another slab straight in it out. Now I'm my dad. Now I'm my dad.

This is exactly what daddy's money gets you. Now we have this exact same yard with multiple inconsistent slabs of cement just all scattered all over the yard. You're gonna have a Mexican sidewalk in your backyard before you know it. Oh, it's already. I mean, it's already. Everything about it is Mexican. The fucking railroad tie. fucking railroad ties steps down by the side of it's Mexican the front of the fucking house they put the numbers back on now after you sent me that cake right yeah

you sent me a cake on my birthday which is very nice of you red velvet cake um you know had to get a good one shit uh my wife tried to make cupcakes the night before oh is that why you said this better not be cupcakes she got it she got it in her head to make cupcakes the night before, like the second the baby went down, she turns up to the kitchen and starts making cupcakes. I'm like, what are you doing? It's like, I really want cupcakes. I'm like, you know how to make cupcakes? She goes, no, how hard could it be? She said, okay. Two hours later, she's like, some, the cupcakes are fucked.

Why? She goes, they're all stuck into the pan. They won't come out. Only the tops come out. And I'm like, oh, well, so the, it's, only the tops are good. Fuck the little part, fuck the muffin part. The muffin part. The muffin part's trash anyway. Only the tops are good. She goes, the tops are fucked too. I said, let me see. And I go over there and it looks like someone had like shit come onto these like lopsided ass tops. I'm like, well, okay, it looks like shit, but let's see what it tastes like, I'm gonna take a big bite and I'm like, it tastes like shit too. Honey, what did you do?

What did you do here? And she's like, I don't know. Uh, I cut the recipe in half. I'm like, okay, well, how was the math? She goes, I'd have no idea. It's like, I had to cut an egg in half. I'm like, okay, I'm sure that, I'm sure you fucked that up. All right. Uh, what else? She goes, well, I used, I used cacao powder because we don't have any cocoa powder. And I was like, well, that's... There you go. We've identified...

Why did you even continue? I really wanted cupcakes. Wait, she was making them from scratch, not even from, like, hair. Here's like a... Not from a box, no. The box would have been better. Everybody knows...

Because the box, you can just throw straight in the trash. You don't even have to waste time making it. Yeah. So your cake was a real nice... gesture. Exactly what she was trying to make, but in a cake. Look, there's a reason Portos

has been in business for as long as they have, and there's a reason why I'm not a fucking baker. But the guy was, the guy was walking around looking for the fucking numbers, and he couldn't find them. I even left in the message. No numbers on the house, that's the one. He's still walking around.

So I go out and, you know, get the thing from him, and then he sends, He took a, you know, they always have to take a picture when they drop stuff off. He took a picture of me in my underwear, going back into the house with the cake box looking like just fatter than shit.

Just the worst picture you could take. No, no picture of the food in question. No, just a picture of my back fat. Unreal. And then I get that to my phone so I'm like, save, send you. I'm like, look at... This is revenge pornography. On your fucking birthday, he did you

this asshole, did you so fucking dirty? And he goes, there's no numbers on the house. I'm like, well, did you read the message? So they came back to put numbers on my house, but they put them back. Like, I'm like, there's no, there's, they're going to fuck this up. There's no way I'm going to let them put these numbers back on. So I printed out a template. And I'm putting, I'm watching it move the mailbox.

And he's like, he brings it down. And he's like, where do you want it? I'm like, like, right here. So he brings it down. And then he's like kind of shifting it back and forth. I'm like, well, aren't you going to use a level? And he goes, I don't have one. I said that.

That's the... So I go in the garage and get a level. I'm like, here. And, of course, it was way off. It's like, I have to watch everything. He's putting the numbers on. I'm like, is this going to be all right? You're going to have to start being like,

hey, I have ice on the speakerphone right now. So if you fuck one thing up, they're going to hear you. So he does the thing, and I'm like, great. And the numbers are done and he's gone. They always disappear, too. He's like, hey, I fix everything. Goodbye. I go out there

Like the numbers are fucking super close together now They're like like that family guy Close two close together eyeballs Yeah They're all close together now I can't see shit Whatever He's layered them all like fucking building blocks They're like overlapped

Memorial but at least they're straight Oh That's one point I guess So I'm sick and my wife takes her son up to my parents' house When she makes us just today She's like, are you better enough for us to come home? I'm like, yeah. I guess she's like, because I got to get out of here.

I put on like 10 pounds. Your dad took the red velvet cake leftovers, and he blended them up and made waffles with them. I said, you're kidding me. How do you make a cake into waffles? Holy shit. She's like, so I ate cake for breakfast. I got to get out of here.

Your dad's tossing her potato chips. What a fucking lunatic. How did he even do that? Your dad is the potato chip tosser, man. That's a maniac shit only he would do. Like, I imagine him on like a CVD infused, like, just like state of euphoria where he's like, hey, I took 10 whole grams of CBD.

Check this shit out. Check this shit out. The cake. You're eating cake right now. But you didn't know those waffles. Five waffles you had are all five. You basically had 10 pieces of cake. Okay, what happened this week?

Snap's done? Oh, man, man. Man alive. Did you know these motherfuckers were doing DoorDash with Snap? Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Regular credit cards shouldn't even be allowed to do DoorDash. Certainly not Snap, right?

Certainly not fucking... How is that swung? When you drive past like Jack in the boxes and shit, is like, we accept AVT. I'm like, what the fuck world do we live in? Yeah, and that's always annoying. But DoorDash is next level. DoorDash is like,

DoorDash nobody should be doing. Absolutely, nobody should be doing DoorDash. I hate it. I hate how, I hate how it takes so much money from the restaurants. It does. Yeah, I hate how it takes, I hate how the hard they fuck over,

like they're importing illegals just to do DoorDash. They don't look at all. Who's driving the car? It's all fake. They don't even read the fucking messages that there's no numbers on the house. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, they don't read anything. And they're taking snap to? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck that. Everybody get the fuck out. Everybody out of the pool. The pool's getting drained. The pool's got some piss in it. The pool actually seems like it might be entirely piss. So we're draining the entire pool, and maybe it will get filled up later. I don't know.

This is... We're going to start somewhere, yeah. Every week, it is a new... We're learning of a new way that we have been getting fucked for 20 years. Then I saw that the Snap was like...

It's $8 billion a month for Snap, right? And there is... I mean, it feels like... Seeing the reaction to it, it feels like... The defenses of it feel almost antiquated. Like, I'm an old guy, but because of the...

show I have to like I end up staying up on young trends and stuff you know and I see people throwing out like well you know what whoa so you don't think poor people should eat cookies it's like well not really I kind of don't think so nah I don't think they should but that's not the point like the point is the point is that you've dumped the point is that you're dumping eight bills first of all if 40 million people can't figure out how to eat uh uh then they just shouldn't. Like, that's an entire country.

You can't, you can't get, 40 million people can't figure out how to, like, go grow food. That's too many people. Way too many people.

Uh, 5 million? That's okay. Five million people need help eating. I'm okay with that. Perforceably, that makes, I'm like, okay.

That makes sense. 40? No. And 90% of them are obese, too? Oh, yeah. Wait, got a stats on that. Okay, $8 billion a month, $42 million can't eat, 70% are overweight or obese.

Jesus. You know what the other thing I was thinking of, too. Like a huge amount of most. That's... Way, way, way more than most. What were you going to say? I was going to say, they should change it back from SNAP to food stamps so people are like ashamed of like, wow, I'm living off food stamps. Like, wow, yeah. Maybe you're, maybe you're should reconsider some fucking choices. So they have to, like, go embarrass themselves instead of swiping a card. Yeah.

Yeah. Instead of like, oh, this is just, and it's like, you get all these people acting. Make them pay in pennies. Make it food pennies. It should be this thing where it's like, no, this is an assistance program, not like, we're funding your whole shit for you. Like, fuck that. Yeah.

Moving into credit cards, I think, is a big, was a big, big mistake. Yeah. But obviously, it's not a mistake. It's just designed to be fraud. Yeah, well, yeah, it's working as intended. Yeah, it's working as intended. That's what I, it's, it's hard even for me to convert everything in my head to, like, there's, there's fraud or it's being done wrong to like, no, no, no, no, it's being done

correctly as was designed by con artists and criminals and scammers that should all be hanged. Like, it's designed to do this by lobbyists. This is this what they're paying for to do this. Oh, here we go. Okay, 70% of SNAP recipients are overweight. Or obese. Jesus. Obviously, they shouldn't be eating.

They used to make those things in monasteries, like the bars. Yeah. If you were too fat, you couldn't fit into the kitchen. Like, well, clearly you've had your fill. So try again next month. Only 4.2 million are disabled. Okay, so that's exactly what I thought. Yeah, about 5 million, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Like, yeah, 5 million people deserve, could get free food. Cool. no 40 million that's a whole fucking country you're like a whole that's like a whole country going you know what we just can't figure out how to eat

damn I just I just don't know I don't know yeah like we put some stuff on the ground didn't work nobody could figure it out yeah then you don't get to eat fucking Easter Island

fuck you then over another civilization couldn't figure out how to eat and so just fucking got wiped off the face of the fucking earth 10% or 10% or disabled 40% of those disabilities are due to obesity Oh So out of the four million people that are disabled Half of them are disabled because they're too fucking fat

Okay, well fucking bulldoze them too Uh uh yeah they tricked me they tricked me into trick me too turn that number down to three million Yeah, let's go lower. How low can you go? Four million snap recipients are the children of illegal aliens. Man, oh man. 1.5 million are refugees. Get the fuck out of here.

And nowhere else in the world is like, come on in, we'll just take care of you. So they cranked up the snap in the last like 10 years. And obviously, I don't see no one saying it, but obviously that's why food's more expensive.

For sure. If you're dumping, $8 billion a month, even though like how much is going to fraud or whatever. Eventually it's still getting spent on this food. Obviously the prices of everything you're going to skuck and skyrocket. Well, it's the same as like all the insurance shit too. Yeah.

Oh, well, if we're going to be billing insurance for like a thousand bucks, like yeah, this thing that should only be $10.000. Yeah. Yeah. Same with school, education, everything. Jesus. Isn't that crazy? I started seeing, I saw, I saw two things pop up.

Like Snap's going to go away. We got to, everybody's got to freak out. One was a bunch of restaurants and people doing food giveaways, which I'm going to hit up. Hell yeah. As soon as I, as soon as I'm not, am sick. I'm going to do a little tour. Show up sick. Fuck.

Have you seen the EBTs from TikTok where they're like talking about how they're going to steal stuff now? Dude, they're so funny. Yeah. I don't see if I have any. Well, did you see the selling plates thing too? No, what's that? We're like, I've been seeing this happen for a while now. And I always wondered what the angle on it was.

And now it all makes sense. Okay. So what all these, quote, home cooks do is they're like, oh, I'm selling like a plate of food. And it'll be like, you know, shrimp, like a couple chicken wings, like a burger and like some mashed. Sounds good. Right. Okay. And it's like, cool, 20 bucks per plate.

Yeah. But what they do is they go get all this food in bulk on like EBT and then are basically selling their food plates for like. Oh. Or so they'll even go get. like fast food and shit too. Yeah. And then like, oh,

I'm selling a plate. And it's like, can I do that? If you have EBT for sure, yeah. Can I buy some half off jack in the box from an EBT? No, but the thing is all like full price.

And it's like, what the fuck then? It's insane. It's like 25 bucks for a plate and it's like two riders, like a couple wings, like Macachinian and just like, who the fuck is buying this?

Like, and it all clicked when I saw that. I'm like, oh. Yeah. Okay, here's this. I don't know why these people

We're going on... Well, because they think they deserve it. That's what it is, yeah. Yeah. Once you give people... Once you give people more than what they feel they can pay back, they decide that they deserve it. Yeah.

Like, if you give somebody, you know, a chance at a job, they're like, I can pay that back, you know, so I'm going to work hard for it. But if you give them something, they don't think they can pay back, they deserve it. Because they're not, you know, they're not like a worthless mooch. Right.

They don't even need to thank you. Thank you. It's something they deserve. This is how human beings, especially under 100 IQ work. Okay, here's their solutions. The needy. Here's the solutions for their food. EBT snap food stamps in November. I say it, fuck it.

November 6th. Everybody, let's do it. It was just all gang up, get together, and raid them motherfucking. Food banks. Get all that motherfucking food. They can't stop us all. They can't stop us all. We're just gonna go in there

and snatch that motherfucking food from them food banks. From them pantries. From them churches. We're gonna go get all them motherfuckins food. I don't know if this is rage bait or not because that's the point of the food banks is for you to get food.

You need to raid them. Yeah. They give it out. What the fuck? There's just a massive breakdown with these people. They're so fucking stupid that they don't even understand

the thing that they're conspiring to steal from is there to give it to them for free. It's free balloon day, man. Free balloon... Yeah, you're supposed to go there and get free food. Did you not know that? Have you been using this magical card to give food at places where you're not supposed to get food?

Because I kind of think that's what's happening. God damn right. Is that you're so dumb, lazy that instead of going to the church where they give food away, you just go, I'll just take this credit card and go to McDonald's where I'm owed. McDonald's owes me fucking food. I built this country. My ancestors, my fucking ancestors were slaves. They built this country. I go there. Give free food. It's just a massive, massive breakdown that's all contingent on, that's all

predicated on one universal fact and maximum, which is, they're, Dumber than you think all of these people are dumber than you think they don't understand where they're supposed to get the free food you have to take them to the food bank You have to put their heads against the food and then you got to shove the free food in and if you're not doing that They're starving. They're starving 40 million fucking people Yeah, there's a couple that deserve it. They don't deserve cookies No No pay extra for them not to get cookies at this point because Yeah, if we're already paying

the ass, at least let me make sure, let me pay a premium to make sure they get left. I'll pay more to burn the cookies. Cookies are contraband. Cookies should be like crack cocaine. If you get caught with cookies, prison. Beat you to death, yeah. Yeah. Nick Crater caught with cookies.

It's like Singapore with cookies. Like that's it. Put cane your ass. Yeah, a whole police van shows up and canes your ass. Here's the, here's plan, uh, plan A. Oh, it's. What? Now he's a black guy.

I don't know what his plan's going to be. When he wants something he doesn't have, let's see what he's, let's see what the plan is. You motherfuck going to do come tomorrow come November 1st. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you know, they say they're going to, you know, cancel those stamps. I want to see if y'all going to raid these stoves like y'all say y'all going to do. I'm definitely waiting on it because I'm going to be sitting right in the cut on one aisle, waking the seat by five, six people just stuff in the basket.

and I'm going to just follow up behind them and when they get close I'm just going to wrap up in the middle of his eyes. He meditated today. I ain't trying to feel like that. Oh yeah, that's what that is. Okay, so they're going to steal it. Well, that's the thing is he's saying like, yeah,

I'll join in on the action if other people are, but I, you know. That's where George Soros comes in. They know that. Right. I've been to those protests and I swear to God. I've seen it happen. The guys, the black black guys that I know that are not from there as I've talked to them.

I know for a fucking fact at the George Floyd shit. I know for a fact they're not from L.A. They're not behaving normally. They were the first ones always to go up, graffiti shit, smash windows,

and then like zombies. You could see the criminals descend on those areas of lawlessness and start fucking things up. It's crazy to see in real life. Obvious, too. Okay, this is cops are stationed outside of Walmart.

we're outside of Walmart and here they are. Police in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. There you go. Walmart. This is October, November 1st, food stamps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but see, that's a pretty chill area because there's only two.

I want to see the Walmart in like Panorama City. Or like fucking hem it, you know, somewhere like that. Oh, yeah, okay. This one looks angry. Just to make something very, very clear to the white man. Okay. Black Americans do not care about your government shutdown. And black Americans do not care about you taking away our EBT and our government

assistance because black Americans never depended on the American government to take care of us and feed us because we never could. We were never able to depend on the government in spite of what you may say and what you may try to force us to. believe so you can sit back and you can mock you can laugh and you can think that you're about to starve us to death but i'm here to let you know that we are going to eat regardless even if we have to hunt you animals down and roast and eat you the delectable crackers and cheese yeah all right all right all right you got any more always in a car they're always lot of anger has been recorded in the car.

Let me see if I can find a good one about stealing. The plan A of stealing. That really woman shows off. Oh yeah, shoplift how easy it is. Okay. And I'm going to show y'all is that don't get your EBT.

What to do? Steele. Is less stuff going to get stolen while they're busy stealing food? Because that's a win. Oh. You know, there's going to be unlocked bikes. It's like fallout, right?

You can only carry so many items for your over-encumbered, yeah. Oh, shit. I can't steal that bike? Yeah. I'm stealing food. Two pounds overweight. Two pounds over my uncovering. She's dropping a bunch of cans of spam in the middle of aisle.

Yeah. And you're fatter than hell, ma'am. Every single fucking one of you could go, could miss about 20 meals. I like what she's got in her basket right there. Big old bunch of bananas and stuff. Come on. You haven't been funny, but it was just full of bananas. Yeah.

Like Donkey Kong. Well, it doesn't help that I've been playing Bonanza lately, too, and I'm just like, oh, here we go. I'm going to show you all how easy it is to steal. Look at them bananas. All right, King K Rule. Here we go again with this shit. Here we go, Void Kong. Oh.

Oh, damn, man. Hey, y'all, this is everything I got. Yeah. She's just leaving with it. is not any of man I hope there are fucking food riots that would make me so

happy oh yeah people keep people coming out of nowhere tackling fat women stealing food well the craziest part is think of all the traffic in a parking lot regularly yeah now when everyone's trying to speed out and running through like

people are going to get run over there's going to be car accidents the only one going to come out on top is insurance companies yeah And, you know, places like Wama, because all that shit's insured. Spreckage, yeah. It's going to be fun, man. It's going to be fun.

The worst thing that could happen is if they turn Snap back on. What is this bitch? Practicing for my mugshot when they cut the food stamps off. Yeah. All right. There you go. I see that and I see ads for companies like saying, we're going to give you

go these delivery companies are like you know what we just feel so bad we're going to give you free food you just come in and put your EBT card in our app and we're going to give you free food

and it's like you you motherfuckers you just want to collect for when they turn it back on this is this is so profoundly fucked I don't even have time to get mad about Israel this week because this is so fucked

yeah well after Weight Watchers like my perspective my aim has shifted in this world they're just so fat. God damn. Every single one of them. 70%.

That's nuts. Okay. And they've got all these stations to give out food, which makes me think they don't really need the snap. No. So you're telling me that you could have fed them

at any time? Well, and it's all like, look at all these things I'm hoarding. It's just like, it was the same thing with toilet paper and hand sanitizers during COVID, too. It's just like, but they're going to take all, and it's like, no, there's always just enough, right? You know, it's like two or three days worth of food. Yeah.

That at any given point? So it's like, don't fuck shit up because you're scared. Like, what the fuck? Let's see, here's a, oh, did you see that, the woman, that weird woman? The weird woman that we looked at in Weight Watchers that sings songs? Oh, Becca, yeah, I brought her in way, I've realized. Did you really? A long time ago on here, yeah.

We could watch her song later. She saw us giving her the double thumbs up. I saw that. She was proud of it, dude. That's like, we have to listen to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do. I played it a few times afterward and was like, man, impeccable.

Really incredible. Talk about AI not being able to take someone's job. She's locked in. She's, man. The freaks and the racists are safe. They're the only ones Everybody else If you talk like a robot

You act like a robot If you spend your whole life Figuring out how to do something in an exact way You're done I'd like to see AI remake Temple OS like Terry Davis Never Here's a pretty cool robot

That they're selling Let me fire that up Scooby Jew Do you They're getting out of control. They're trying to cancel Tucker Carlson this week. So it's just another week.

Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Tucker had Nick Flentes on. That's funny. It was really funny. God. Has he just interviewed him like a, you know, like a nice guy, like a nice guy interview?

I got to watch a, that now. And everybody lost their all the Israel first people lost their fucking minds. That's amazing. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny now that we're not

banished to, that speaking out against foreign influencers, foreign influence does not result in the instant cancellation of all of your accounts, your social media accounts, your bank accounts, everything. because every

country is exactly the same China India Israel Europe what's another one Ukraine they're all

every single country exactly the same they come around they pay Congress they pay they give Congress money Congress fucks me over

that's how it works I don't want to give anybody money but the guy the cops are close to me and if I don't give them the government money, they'll come kill me. Like, all right, well, I guess I guess I gotta give you money.

So then every other country outside of the U.S. said, hey, why don't we just pay those cops to give us some of the money? I know? It's fucked. It's really fucked and it's so obvious. And it used to be unquestionable. Yeah. And they all have, every country also has their own little word

for like why it's bad. Like, um, you know, You're, oh, if you don't like Israel fucking over, it's anti-Semitism. If you don't like, if you don't like, you know, Democrats fucking over, you're racist. Like all these horrible words that like dumb boomers and people who are retarded buy into and just like repeat as a slur. Like, oh yeah, well, you're this. And then I just don't work anymore.

Yeah. Now they have to just say, you're a pedophile. Like, okay, well, I mean. Only mad at a time that stuff's working, too. They're all exactly the same. Hey hi we're other country That's great don't care Yeah

Oh yeah well we're gonna pay these Congressmen 10 million bucks And then they're gonna give us a billion dollars Oh I hate that And then the congressman turns around to you and goes Actually you're blank Use whatever word

Use whatever word for hate speech You know that they've been using for 80 years whatever And they just throw it at anything they can At the wall to see if it sticks This is two guys Tucker Carlson Nick Fuentes

having a conversation recording, they're like, oh, ah, ah! Yeah. Yeah, you're,

yeah, you're fucked. You're fucked. You're fucked. You're fucked. Big time. Fuck you. This is the last thing

you guys want to see. Well, and it's like, again, like all this time that's like, I remember like Obama and like,

you know, all that area. It was like, when you would see like Priuses everywhere covered in like political stickers and shit.

Yeah, the less I see of them, the more I'm like, Yeah, you want to kill the planet. Like, oh, no, you just want money. Right. And that's all it is. It's like they've lost the plot for what they think, like, well, this is my feelings.

And it's like, the whole time the government's like, cool, we just want your money. They have lost, they forgot that it's just about money. Yeah. And they're freaking out, like Seth Dillon and all these right-wing retards who are like, they only care about Israel, have forgotten that it is really only about money. Yeah. And they're spurging out big. whatever the fuck they can so they get your money. Yeah.

When you go, oh, I like this guy. Cool. That guy's got your money. Yeah. It's your vote. They care about it. It's your fucking money. It's your money.

And so they're like, yeah, but we're doing this all for like, you know, we're ethical and we have feelings and all this. And it's like, all the government attached to it's like, yeah, no, totally. We for sure do. Like here's pride month. Here's this month. Here's money. Yeah. Did you see that Bill Gates, Bill Gates reversed all of his climate change shit.

this week. I have the quote from him. Just hilarious. Did he say it was all fake and gay? He said that, you know, it's not really a big deal. Like, people are, he said, like, a lot of people are freaking out about the climate, but, you know, thank God that they're all wrong. He was like, you were the one freaking out about it.

You know what happened is he probably made it past the ice wall. He saw the other America on the other side of it, and he was like, oh, man, we're not ruining the planet. We've got a whole other half of the planet to look at it. Here's what he said. he said there's a bill gayes said there's a doomsday view of climate change that goes like this

in a few decades cataclysmic climate change will decimate civilization the evidence is all around us just look at all the heat waves and storms caused by rising global temperatures nothing matters more than limiting the rise and temperature yeah you said that you brainwashed like millions of people into not running their air conditioning

and drinking their own piss because you they think you're a smart guy and they said, that guy really cares about civilization. I better do my part, whatever the fuck weird shit that means. So they like seriously, they seriously changed their quality of life for you. Fortunately for all of us, this view is wrong. Yeah. It's dumb.

Fucking us all over this whole time, asshole. Although climate change will have serious consequences, particularly for people in the poorest countries, It will not lead to humanity's demise. People, we're all trying to find the guy who did this. We're all trying to figure out who was the guy that said climate change is totally fucked and it's going to kill everybody and it's the most important thing facing humanity. Hey Bill Gates.

That AI shit that you're doing, that the whole companies that all of Microsoft is in, that does a lot of climate change. Oh, how much? well, a lot exponentially more than it ever could have. Yeah, way more than the people have been doing. But it's okay because all

all that stuff was a lie anyway. Oh, okay. Oh, so it's good then. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, okay. Everybody, just kidding. We're going to be using a lot, we're going to be doing a lot more climate.

Thankfully, the AI will figure out how to fix climate change. Fucking wild. It's fucking, people are just so stupid for believing this for 40, 40 years, particularly for people in the poorest countries that will not lead to humanity's demise. People will be able to live and thrive in most places on earth for the foreseeable future. Emissions projections have gone down.

And with the right policies and investments, innovation will allow us to drive emissions down much further. Wow. Particularly for people in the poorer countries. That's fucking, he's just like, hey man, if you're poor, like, fuck you. You better, you should have got your ass to. You're getting that train through your... your fucking marketplace. That's insane.

Is this the same one? Damn it, I logged into the wrong account. Bill Gates says climate change will not lead to, yeah, man. And then what's worse is you get all these people who are like, see, Bill Gates is actually a good guy, man. Because see, he changed his like. Oh, yeah, he changed his mind. Yeah. Because he saw new evidence.

Not like he was just lying the whole time. and now he's lying. He's just saying whatever gets him money. Again, it's just always fucking that. And so when people think like, yeah, but this guy gives a shit, it's like, no. No, he doesn't. Nobody gives a shit anywhere. What's I talking about?

Oh, yeah. Tucker Carlson. That's funny. Which part? Bill Gates? All of it. It's so funny. It's...

Upgrade I mean we could use like a little power You can use a little power We gotta use a little bit of power To get us Over the hump Well how much you want to bet in like five years Actually we're gonna really invest in like nuclear

And all this stuff It's gonna be yeah And everyone's gonna be like Wow this is so great And it's like It should have been like this the whole fucking It should have been like this the whole time You morons

Were a part of like Because you don't have actual sports in your life you bet on this team climate shit and it was all stupid it was all stupid that made you think you made a difference in your dumb life because you don't matter because you want to believe

that you mean more than just nothing I hope everyone who had a carbon credit offset website like dies in their sleep yeah yeah we can just pay 50 bucks per the shift is real this shit seems like old and busted and washed now

all this climate, all this retarded climate shit. You drop in half the world's. You drop in millions of poor people. They got cooked by global warming, man. Although climate change will have serious consequences, particularly, it will not lead to humanity. It will not lead to humanity's demise. Come on, guy.

Coming just four years after he published a book, How to Avoid a Climate Disaster. What a cock sucker. Yeah, how to avoid a climate. business is normal. It's no big deal. Nothing bad's going to have it anyway. We get a shit.

Yeah. That's like people who are like, well, Warren Buffett eats McDonald's every day, so I have to also. And it's like, yeah, but you're just fat and retarded. Like he's... He's a billionaire. Yeah, he's smart. He's got his own set of issues, yeah.

And I don't even know if he really does that. Yeah, he could just be lying to you so you go fucking buy McDonald's everyone. He's fat retards. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Climate change. Blah, blah, blah. Something about hangings.

Oh, the Indian cow shit festival. Hmm. I got some fun ones today. You have some fun cow shit? Kind of. So this guy went to the Indian cow shit festival that ends Diwali. Yes. And like Indians.

I've been loving these videos, yeah. Yeah, here they are. It's just absolutely disgusting. Look at this guy. I'm sinking. I'm sinking. I'm sinking. Just in...

Yeah. It's all men, and they're euphoric. The poo-foric. Pooh-foric. Yeah. Poo-foric. So much shit. So much shit.

We keep pushing. We keep pushing. I want to touch. This guy's got a big pile of shit. Look at this. A big old, like, bowling ball-sized pile of shit that he's carrying around like a Stanley Cup. Look at this fuck. This guy, he just threw like a...

melon of shit at this poor white guy in a Pentium outfit and his face is, I mean, what's the point of the... In the hair. It's a dude dressed up like the Pentium guys without his face being covered running through his shit cow shit festival. Do they clean this up? No. Do you know it's vile because there's not a single German in attendance?

Even they're like, mm, a bit much. So they got pissed off at him for covering their cow shit festival? so India like the Hindu times or whatever is running news stories about his mom yeah Hind S2 times

look at this shit is Tyler Olivaria's mom on only fans that's how I've been seeing more memes lately of like when you film an Indian guy doing he's doing something he's not supposed to and it'll be like a white guy

who's like, what do you feel me? And he's just like getting all up in your face and like really aggressive. Yeah. It's that same kind of, it's like, well, if you don't want people covering your cow shit festival. Why are you having a cow shit festival? What the fuck? Yeah. Why are we importing people who have a cow shit festival?

I don't think so. Criticism over. I don't think he's criticizing it. I think he's trying to make it out alive. Like, what the fuck? I don't think anybody's criticizing the cow shit festival. I think everybody's saying it's fucking gross. And if there's something wrong.

deserving it and going, hmm. I think it's beyond the, I think it's beyond the definition of criticizing. So they say, is his mom on only fans? Vlogger Tyler Oliveria's white skin

fails to withstand Indian climate, develops infection after playing with cow dung. This is their version of like, you know, bad PR or something, I don't know. Yeah, can you please this guy fucking filmed us playing with cow shit covered head to toe in it

disgusting all right okay let's see what do we have here yeah speaking of disgusting let me find that song that viny got made creep off wait watchers audio man fanny putting in work yeah vennie's the man he is man Vinnie's the man. The Weight Watchers song.

Oh, yeah, okay. Is this it? That's it, yeah. Yeah, let's see. Doodoo do. Downloads. Yeah, here we go. Song debuted on Weight Watchers 3.

Tune in and be horrified. Oh, no. What the hell? It's not working. No. No! Oh, did it not finish or something? I don't know.

It's just not working. Vinnie, you fucked me? You fucked me somehow. I don't know how. But you fucked me. God damn it. All right, well, go watch the episode. An attempt was made.

Yeah, look. Nah. Well, thanks to fuck a lot, Vinny. Okay. Well, you could imagine. Use your imagination. It's pretty good. Travis Lumby says,

Hey Dick, Megan Kelly here Rails on Sydney Sweeney's Seathrew Silver Dress Saying, I object I object Oh really? Do you see Sydney's Sweeney's See through dress?

No, it was see through Yeah, it's pretty hot You could see her boobs All of them You could see her nipples too Let me find it Megan Kelly, I object. You mean an old woman

has a problem with a new, a hot young woman showing her tits off? Yeah, again, color me surprised. Wow, really? Oh my God. You're telling me an old bitch hag Who's telling me some old fucking hag

Has a problem with some hot girls showing off her tits? Some old saggy titted fucking no good goddamn Really? Old bitch. And that that's been fucking up society for the last 50 years? You're telling me that some old bitch has a problem with me seeing some hot chick's tits

and is somehow sticking her old shrew witch nose into it and fucking things up for the last 50 years? And that's why everything fucking sucks now? Because some hot young girls can't just show her tits off and a bunch of guys go awesome. I feel a little bit better about the day. And some chick can't just feel good about getting attention for having a huge tits that she's showing off. Fuck. It's because she didn't do good in laughing school. And it somehow didn't like become a career-oriented or something, Megan Kelly, you fucking bitch.

The 54-year-old commentator was joined by Christian conservative podcaster, another old bitch for the discussion in which they both agreed that the 28-year-old Euphoria star was beautiful and had spectacular breasts. But, you know, keep it, keep them undercover. God forbid that anyone should see your fucking nipples. Holy fucking shit How's how fucking retarded women have to be all? Well, I don't want anyone to see my middle chest, upper chest area, or else everyone will lose their fucking minds. Old cantankerous, old cantankerous cows, most of all. Most of fucking all.

God forbid I show my nipple ariola era area, or else I'll get ganged up on by a bunch of old cunt. This was at the Women Empowerment Festival. The Vanity Fair, like, women. It's pretty funny. I can't show it. Let me say, Vanity Fair. Sydney, Sweeney. I don't even like Sidney that much, but it's funny she's going to a women empowerment festival with a see-through dress.

Well, and then women are like, could you believe this? It's like... Yeah, she's hot. Fuck your festival. She's getting hers. She wants guys, she wants to get attention from guys who have money because of her big naked boobs. You know, the only consistent thing I've heard from every woman ever Is, you know, I just don't get like, you know, when women don't support each other and blah blah

And they will always never support one another It's like, like, no, because they're fucking demons I'm, you know, I am different, I understand these things And it's like, no, like you, every woman hates every other woman They just, they really do. They really fucking do, man. And it's just like, whether it's a corporate. setting or per like no matter what no matter what they hate each other hate each other because you know why

because they're all evil they're sick and demented they recognize they know in each other yeah they know what's going on she's a bitch blah blah blah blah and it's like wait a second that's you yeah they're right sydine swiney's using the power of women festival to show off her huge rack for herself yeah what a Bitch. Sounds like something empowering a woman. Like, what the fuck? Like,

why don't you all do it? Because then you'd have to, because then you'd have to lose weight. You'd all have to be hot. You'd have to lose weight. You'd have to learn to shut your fucking mouths and say something nice. And of course they bring up that she's like 24 or whatever.

And it's like, oh, okay, so you guys are just mad that you're old and out to pasture. Here's the dress. Damn, that's great. It's a great dress. Great. Nothing else to say about that.

Wow. Amazing. Cool. Wow, look at that rocking body Here it is here I don't much I know I got nothing Nothing of interesting is here

I like the backside of the dress There's like Purina dog chow As a fucking ad Like come on They're a sponsor for this event Like A rare she called it a rare Mestep and she's a self-admitted

Sweeney fan I hate when people do that I'm a fan but uh You know I'm a fan but this thing Like go fucking blow your brains out Fuck a shitty fan yeah She reminded me of Kim Kardashian, you know? Just call her the N-word.

Just skip straight to it, you know? Who overshares and then takes away, like the thing that's the sex... And then takes away, like, the thing that is the sexiest, which is like every guy's hoping to be the one who actually sees them for real and leaving a little to the imagination. Are you a pubescent boy?

Megan Kelly, every guy wants to see your boobies for real, and you're just giving it away. That's what she's saying. What a stupid bitch. God, I'm sorry. so glad Trump fucked her up the ass in front of the whole world. Fuck you. Oh shit. This is just like...

Honey, you can't let these... That's all every guy wants to do. That's not like... Our biggest motivation in life isn't seeing Sidney's Sweeney's boobies. Yeah. It's just like, oh, wow, nice. Damn, that chick's hot and she has a huge wreck. Maybe I'll go see her in a movie, and maybe I'll get to see her tits. Maybe I'll watch her show.

Maybe. I'm not like... I'm not fucking pining for it. every single fucking day. I would rather see Sidney on the screen and film all the places than fucking either of these two hags. Jesus Christ.

What's the other one's name? Ali, Bethy Stuckley? What are you? Some fucking bitch? Oh, yep, another old bitch. Look at that. Two old bitches.

Man. We got to have an alliance. That's the thing with Sidney because we see all these old cunts attacking her, so we have to protect her from these old... Nothing about Sidney-Sweeney. Like, I don't even really care. She's got okay tits.

I like a big rack, you know? I like a big... I like them bigger. You know? They're okay. They're like a blue collar big tits. Right. I'm like a white collar big...

I want them fucking ridiculous. I want expensive ones. Not the fucking... I want like, disgusting. Yeah. You know? Just what the, like a freakish. That's what I'm talking about.

I don't even really care for Sidney's Sweetie's tits. We're talking 300%. We're talking high percentages here. None of this white collar, where's your 10 millimeter at? Sydney Sweeney's tits are like, uh, it's like, uh, it's like, if you like the challenger. Like if your idea of a great car is like a challenger. Yeah. Then you'll love Sydney Sweeney's tits.

Okay. But when I see a bunch of old. old cantankerous cunts trying to attack somebody who's just trying to do something nice for everybody by showing her big boobies off. Then I got to step in and defend it. Like, yeah, you parked that blown out Nissan Ultima

elsewhere, you bitch. Yeah. What are you two driving? Fucking slop factories. Eggs on a stick. Get the hell out of here with that shit. Jesus. You know?

You got to circle the wall. wagons. You see Tucker Carlson and Nick Flandez is having a nice time. Say whatever you want. Say whatever you want about anything. That's what America's about.

NNN this. KKK this. Doesn't matter. Well, it does matter, but fuck you. Deal with it. That guy's saying it. Too fucking bad. Too fucking bad. Grow up. It's too fucking bad. It used to be like that too. Before Obama came around and turned it into Well, platforms are now, now you can control somebody's platform just by paying an Indian to turn their account off. Yeah.

Before that, there was no concept of like who or not you're being platformed and what you're saying. Dude, I remember a period in time where you couldn't drive anywhere without seeing some Yosemite Sam fucking back off mud flaps on a car, man. Yeah. You know, guns blazing like, back off. Back off. Stupid asshole. Like, oh, fuck. You know.

like you can't tell me what to say or think and now it's like actually we're going back to that actually that well that's what I'm saying say whatever you want you're out there listening and you can put mudflaps on your car or your truck whatever you got get a pair of those Yosemite Sam motherfuckers that's what it comes down to say whatever you want because even if what you're saying is crazy directionally it's going to be anti people taking your money yeah there's no and there's no other way there's no other way to express criticism of people taking your money than racial slurs. It's really, you see all this shit going on and you say like, and like, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, what else you want? You want a bunch of fucking graphs about it? It's just easy for them, it's just the easiest way to say it.

What's happening here, China? Yeah. China. It's happening here. Dong, dong, dong, dong. Well, and it's like when you can say it so succinctly, right? Yeah. It's like freeing.

Yeah. Oh, it is this. And then you can start to unpack all that. Then you can unpack it. Okay, what do you mean by that? Well, I mean, you know, this, this, this. Yeah, you can't beat around the bush on that one. You got to.

You're not talking about, you don't mean all Muslims hate America. I mean, a lot of them. All of them, yeah. You got to blow that motherfucker's head smooth off. Islamophobia. Like, yeah, yeah. Again, well, you know what? Maybe we should start embracing the Yosemite Sam lifestyle.

And just like, if someone starts talking to you on. There's a frackin' riss or freaking nerve. Just start shooting. God darnan. Yeah, make them dance. A rare misstep to show off your tits. Okay. A rare misstep.

Fuck you. Don't trust anyone says, Hey, Dick, this is one of those women we should be doing the opposite of what she says. Oh, yeah, it's a food stamp one. I saw this one. This bitch says, I don't give a fuck what kind of food people buy

with their food stamps. And I don't give a fuck about a few people taking advantage of a system if it means even one person who is hungry gets help to buy food yeah that's that explains women I think all that that thinking

this like extreme posturing does that apply to rape too like I don't have to care how many people get raped well you phrase it like that and then all of a sudden everyone loses their mind I don't give a fuck what kind of food people buy okay

well I do yeah do you give a fuck that it gets driven to them in someone else's car she's also not supposed to be here yeah

do you give a fuck about that what if they're pounding Gatorade for a big gang rape do you care about that let's get hydrated for the for the rape a wean that we're going on

putting razor blades in all kids candies care about that Fuck. This idiot. Chris. Hey Dick, I'm sure others have sent you the story about the guy who recorded the Fices Festival.

Yeah, pretty funny. Coach Cake, just how fucked are we? I was doing some reflecting tonight. Oh, thinking and drinking. Thinking and drinking. Over the last year, I managed to secure a very good job for myself that allows me to live relatively comfortably.

I'm 25 in an aerospace space welder. Wow. And I have no college degree? Dang. Sure, it's a fairly specialized field, but at the end of the day, it's blue-collar work. I got to thinking about just how many jobs are out there like mine, jobs that normal Americans deserve to have. So I did some AI-assisted research, looking for what percentage of jobs in the U.S. are blue-collar manufacturing jobs that do not require education past high school and pay $45 an hour or more. I love AI-based research. So you typed in this prompt. I knew the number wouldn't be high,

but I didn't expect it to be this low. Google's AI said less than 1%. Google said, GROC said half a percent. If this doesn't show how fucked American manufacturing is, I don't know what does. The consequences of outsourcing all our laborers, so fucking appalling. Yeah.

Wait, this guy just now discovered we've been outsourcing shit? Yeah, it's been like this for 26 years, man. Man. Exactly 26 years. We've got to unwind it. It's going to be ugly. It's going to be a lot uglier than Tucker Carlson and Nick Fuentes sitting down and having a nice conversation. It's going to be way, way uglier.

Way uglier. Ready for it. Yeah. So buckle up. There's going to be more slurs than you could possibly imagine getting thrown around. The accusations as priorities realign. Right. Toward who's supporting who?

Because the people who are just about America is, you know, I don't really know how big they are. But I think it's, I think it's most of us. I think it's most of us. The problem is just undoing the brainwashing, like that Bill Gates shit. Well, and I think part of it, too, like, you know, when you have all your neighbors who's like,

oh, everyone's supposed to love each other and all, blah, blah, blah. And it's like all this, like, crazy level of integration we're supposed to be having with everyone just makes you hate everyone. Yeah. But it's like the less you know your neighbors and are like, well, shit. Well, the better it is. Well, the better it is, but also like, it creates just like, well, we don't know them and we don't want to have to ask them for anything. So we're going to do our best to make sure that our fucking city rises.

Yeah. And then everyone's kind of like, oh, shit, they're doing good. Like, well, I don't want to look bad by having to ask them for it. Like, maybe I just like, like, in Gary. We're looking bad. We're looking bad now. Yeah. That's the future.

Yeah, well, yeah Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying It used to be this like Oh, well, we We should take pride in our shit too And now it's just like, eh, but Everyone needs to hate each other again Like on a very fundamental level

But like, not in like a I hate them so much that I'm like Dinkleberg obsessed with them But like hate them so much That it's like I want to do so fucking good That I never have to see them out in their yards Or fucking like just I cannot be made to feel bad

Right, that's I think that's what it comes down to. Not anything. Right. Whatever you got. I only care about things that directly affect me. Right. But then, like, as a weird result, I feel like that is supposed to make things better.

Should. Should. Cut off the. That's my understanding of how things were prior. And then it's, or at least, you know, I guess you did know your neighbors at one point. But then, like, over time, it's like, yeah, you have to be able to rely on everybody for everything always. And it's like, fuck that. Yeah.

The worst part is it's getting to a point where I have gotten to is rare, even in my industry. I know plenty of guys that went to welding school have been in the industry for years and are lucky if they make over $30 an hour. I know some guys that were fresh out of weld school, go to their first job working for an aerospace company and left because Costco warehouse paid the same as what they were hired at. You could double the wages of every blue collar worker out there, and it wouldn't be too far. They've taken so goddamn much from us. The people that keep the planes in the sky, keep your cars running, and keep your cars running,

and keep the military industrial complex afloat are paid a pittance all because we've exported so much of our labor to the third world that doesn't know you can't use coat hangers for weld wires but what do I know? I'm just a cheese dick welder

cheers and go fuck yourself Coach Cake yeah we'll see we'll see we'll see how many we'll see how good the sciops are going yeah next time you know

hopefully hopefully fuck you pay me is the slogan moving forward. Fuck yeah. Get rid of these assholes. Get fucking rid of them now. Don't care. Don't care, you're going home.

P.S. In 1990, the percentage of jobs that were blue collar manufacturing and made $18 an hour was around 12%. Okay, well, there, that's what happened in the country. 12%. God damn. Yeah.

Slime burgers, hey Dick. Bellu here, out of all the great bits of the show, the one that really stuck with me was the slime burger. It was around the time Roe versus Wade was repealed, I think. It was something like in the future, you'll go to McDonald's, and you'll see Slimeburger on the menu, and you order it. But when you ask kids how you're supposed to eat it,

and they, those kids will make fun of you for wanting to eat a slime burger. It's so good. It randomly cracks me up, I think, about the future. Go fuck yourself. Flirching Groipur. Talk about Nick and Tucker on the show and the resulting 7,000 club freak out. That's funny. and Brittany

and all the other Pick Me E girls doing black face for Halloween Pick me I think it's funny All these girls did blackface for Halloween

They're picked What do you pick me They're already picked Now do it on all the other days too Brittany is black It's even funny or her doing it Yeah I guess so Like Azalea Banks doing it

Yeah. Let me find her picture of her Halloween costume. I was thinking Iggy Azalea, too. Like, oops. Do, do, do. Brittany. Venty. I don't know how to spell her name.

Yeah. No. Hey, I saw her at the party store on my way on the day. Holy shit. She got fried chicken. She dressed up to get fried chicken. She's wrong color gloves. Oh, what color are they supposed to be?

I mean, I guess you're supposed to wear white gloves, right? I don't see her gloves. Oh, those are napkins. Oh, okay. I was like... Ooh, I want some fried chicken, though. That looks good. I don't know what I'm getting.

Okay. Baker Baker. I would love your insight onto why it seems the Twitch streamer type content is dying and quickly. Is it? Is Twitch content dying? I think Twitch is just dead. Twitch is dead You think

There's competitors now I mean Amazon's got to I thought the only thing That was keeping that shit up Was all the free money coming out of Amazon I thought so too That's why I'm like I don't think Is that is it real?

Was it ever real? I don't think so I think it was a COVID thing That just has a died yet That's just naturally dying out Because it sucks Yeah Like that

The people Who are streamers Are horrible And they don't produce most of them don't produce anything really it's all just like it's not a growth it's not gonna grow like right it's all shit you just

put on in the background yeah it's not like they're building IP out of it it's never going beyond streaming yeah like they'll license their they'll make like a pocket pussy like a Pocke main or

MIRU based pocket pussy but it's never going beyond that yeah COVID I think it's returning to nature. We're returning to nature. Yeah, let it die. Burple says, I'm listening regularly again after like a year of working hard.

Johnny is very funny. I can't believe he dropped a Francis E. deck reference. Lull. Is that what it was? Yeah, dude, that guy was like a total schizo who used to write letters to people and like we talk about the Frankenstein computer gangster

gods that controlled everybody and like, basically he was like a Harry Davis but like before computers really he was like typewriter but then i think he forget when he died but yeah dude that guy's like he's like an OG schizo yeah he's a good schizo typing shit total g g-g-skito typing shit total gnarly like i think it's all handwritten too and people have to transcribe it like total oh wow total trip yeah how many like old schizos are we missing out on a lot that's why i was like just by not having the internet you got to honor him you got to honor terry davis you know you got to

keep their memories alive even though that they're not man yeah Okay Let's do Well I don't have the song Damn it Maybe I could text Vinnie to Give it to me Vinnie free email it

Oh my god My fucking back is killing Vinny Can you send me the song again Please Okay It's time Fat watch

Today in fat news Fat butt up Fat fucking watch Man No way this is real Liam says. If this is the one... Oh, no.

Okay. What is this? Fat woman picking up rice? Even better, you'll see. Okay, what is... Borsi high? She's, like, cleaning up her house? Yeah, so I think this is a repost account,

but she's talking about how when she's cleaning her house, she, like, cleaning off her kids, like, high chair and shit. This is what she does. Okay, let's see. Oh, she eating it? Oh. Well, clearly fucking look at her.

Oh, dude. She's eating the big things. She's wiping it onto the floor and then eating the big rice-chrispy treats. Or it's like eggs. I don't know what the fuck it is, yeah. Oh, it's some kind of crepe, yeah. Fucking gross. This on the heels of weight watchers, man.

Atlee. Okay. Her home calls for her because she's a whale. All right. What do you got? Curvy diamonds, 88. She's sitting on an entire bench. Oh my God.

Notice it's a concrete base to it, too? and that she's sitting over direct one of the concrete legs too and not in the fucking middle of it I know that's in La Jolla I hate that I have like love that that that go to that bench so beautiful I've sat there this is like normal fat you know from behind looking over the bench looking at her well it looks like a normal fat chick like with something behind her and then you realize a backpack bottom half then you realize that duffel bag then you realize the duffel bag is your ass. Jesus Christ. Man.

Yeah, Birch Aquarium's just at the road. Do you wail? We got to start starving these people for their health. This is not... This is not good. You are dead, bitch. Michael says this grimace shot the photos at two of my niece's weddings. Her disgusting fatness caused her to take all the photos from a single vantage point. Oh, this content's not available. Fuck you.

Well, the premise alone, that's like, that's all I needed. Don't hire a fat wedding photographer because they're not going to get any other angles. I like that. That's funny. Didn't even think about that. That's a good man. Oh, Vinnie. Yeah, Vinnie.

Okay. Cool. Now I got to send it to my fucking self. Yes. True, true. True, true. Rockstar Have you been watching the chair company?

No, I haven't had time Is it good? Yeah Yeah Alright Yeah That's a real answer Yeah

And I'll see That's see that's fair Okay attach file No it's not a file I'm getting fucking wrecked No one ever has wanted to attach a file No Photo

Yes Fat lady Yeah Okay Send it to the show email Not to me There Send

Check your notification On another device No Um Okay well sorry about that Matthew Montgomery Says Good afternoon brothers

I bring you a cop cam of a very large woman Acting belligerent with police After refusing to leave her Rotel room She's so massive that it takes two taser shots to bring her down While she's detained she still carries on with her meth-induced psychosis I'm very concerned for her health

Yeah good good good good good great email Okay needs two cops to tasers to bring her down Let's see here Come on guy Jesus Jesus down I don't know what to do Face down, can't find your back On September 8th 2023

Police were called to a comfort in After management advised they had a large female in a bathing suit, running around on the second floor causing a disturbance, and they want her trespass. Sheriff's office. Sheriff's office. I was approached my own month, but I would like to know what the problem is. Because I can't even get in my own pool. There was a dog in the parking lot. Unlock the door.

You're going to go to jail if you don't open the door. If you don't open this, you're going to go to jail. I'm going to defects. and I'm going to my lawyers. I want you all to calm down for a minute. Unlock the door, please. Okay, go ahead and remove it. Now, why do I ask why?

Because we're telling you two. Do you have a warrant? I don't need a warrant. Why was that lady? You're going to jail. All right. Just like so over it. You're going to jail.

Open the door. What do you want me to do, baby? Open the door. Okay, are you going to arrest me? Unlock the door. No, go get my lawyer. Okay. you just added a charge of resisting.

Good job. No, I would like to speak with my lawyer. The layman replied to the room. Why is everyone so sarcastic all the time? You just got trespass after warning and resisting. Is that a cop talking? We're leaving. I think that might be...

Oh, I guess so, because if it's body cam. Yeah, it's body cam. Shit. Just kicked a fucking Dorian and kicked the shit out of her. Over-chlorating the pool. You can see where they bust in. Look at the big hump where everybody watches. All right, all right. Oh, he's jamming that little thing in the door lock? Oh Oh, my God! She's shaped like a tweedle D and tweedle done. She's got that a bathing suit? She's got that. She's shaped like a Tweedle D and Tweedle Dump. She's got that. She's got that.

egg body shape the egg with tits flapping around that's you know fat guts sticking out taser taser Taze the bitch Area 51 that bitch

Blah blah Blah The visuals in time crisis Five look great Face down, face down Can't bind your back Look at how fat this fucking officer is Holy shit.

Look at this fucking guy. Wow. Is that friendly fire? Two fatties getting after it. Jesus. Imagine how bad that room smells, too. Was she watching CNN? Got it.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Where's your wallet? Slimy. Your purse? Oh. Slimy. Imagine if I hadn't.

Crazy. What do you got in there? Have you taken anything today? Yes, sir. Because you're a little on the extra side. I'm going to fill through something really hard. And when I went to the place where they were supposed to solve it, they were more concerned with time. Okay, all right.

Where's my song? Here we go. Here... Here we go. Here we go. Here we fucking go. Here we go. Um, this.

Yeah. So what's her name? This lady's name? Um, so the count is Becca and Hannah 12, I think. But her name's Becca, and she's an avid songwriter. Okay. I think I've either brought in one of her songs on the show or... Just her in a pool or something.

So she wrote this for Weight Watchers. She did. She wrote this as the theme. song for Weight Watchers. Let's hear it. Not the wrong way being healthy. You get to take more lead on your life. Brother Dick Vinny,

Carl and Johnny, the audio engineer here to support you, encourage you, guide you through your journey to better have to have more energy. Live a longer life.

Being healthy is a gain of life. Be healthy with the Weight Watchers podcast, Yeah, yeah, that's right Be healthy with the Weight Watchers podcast Now we might actually get sued She thinks we're She thinks we're happy

Weight Watchers podcast Whoops She's listening to all the time Be healthy With the Weight Watchers podcast She's brother to Bini Caro and Johnny

Audio Engineering She thinks we're Really weight watchers Although she's not like a reasonable man, you know, she's not, I don't think we should be using her as a litmus test of if it's a brand confusion or not. Definitely not a reasonable man by any. Yeah, so that's fine. Yeah. I think. I think we're in the clear. All right. Do I have any more? Do you have any fat watches? No, but there's some overlap as always. Let me look at the, in the room and see if there's any kind of losing my voice.

I've just got a collection of things that you will absolutely fucking hate The card up Okay nothing in there I know I got some from last week Yeah Weight Watchers cleared out all my Yeah that was a good one

My uh my bangers Mm-hmm Looted from the hospital Yeah it gets a lot of people sent the influencer that got arrested that was funny the tarp was unreal

yeah that's like what they've used to bring um beached whales back yeah uh anything in here why yeah yeah okay

scale has a speaker have we seen this one yeah we saw that one uh I don't think we saw this one all right let me pull this up I love that video Do do do do do do this is from Sean

Not that one Yeah, all right Wow We Do do do do do I'm gonna resize What is she doing? I do text but I'm watching challenge to humans

Oh my god She's got it Oh no All right Let's start over I thought she was boarding an airplane at first This is a 300-something-pound woman, probably 340. Easy.

3-20, yeah, 3-40. Climbing a rope stairs for some reason. This fat people love playing with children's jungle gyms. Well, because they like, it's that like, quirk chung-is, like, whoa, I'm fat. Like, what if I just did this? And it's like, no, please. What if I just shit on my plate? What if I shit on my pants?

I hate quirk chungis's. It's so fucking annoying. It's like you can't hide that you're fat. Like you really can't. I'm just leaning into it. I'm just sitting with a pillow over my lap. It's like, no, you're not. You have to be hiding behind a boulder, you fat bitch.

Like, stop. Big glasses and big hoop earrings will never fix it. Okay, so she's climbing up a rope ladder, which is suicidal. Now she's trying to squeeze. See, they have this huge. shaped bar here so you're not too fat to get on the slide.

Right. The slide is only two and a half feet across. You can tell she didn't put the shapes in the wood box thing. She just took cookie dough and jammed it into them like a Plato Fun Factory.

That's what we're seeing. A Play-Doh fun factory, but with a human being cramming her ass through this mouse hole-shaped barrier. Upton, Sinclair, eat your fucking heart out. Oh my god.

Oh my god. She's having to squeeze her fat gut through the mouse hole-shaped bar at the top of a slide, a children's slide. Bottom of her shoes are flat as fuck, too. Her thighs are taking up the entire space of the slide and are not even to her fat ass yet. Oh my god, is she Chinese or is she that fat?

Her eyelids have swollen... Her eyelids have lymphedemas. Is this really an Asian? This is a walking dumpling. To slowest slide possible. Holy! Oh, that's so fun. Hoof.

Got to get that aerospace welder to go fix that slide now. Jesus Christ Wapapap bo bo bhawn Bairnop bop bop b'nop b'nop b'n All right Oh no Here we go Let me find your theme song

I have to brace myself For this one a little bit Oh, why's that? There was a lot of candidates for this It took so much time to narrow down All my findings Johnny's brain Oh

Maybe I'll do some voicemails My ears have been so fucked this week I don't know. All right. Let's find it. Let's do yours. Brace yourself. Okay, so last week you had talked about the, well, we were talking about it briefly before the show,

but you talked about like Indian reverse mud wrestling where they're shoving the shit back in each other's asses. Yeah, I found the clip of that. Oh, okay. So, you know, there's a colloquialism going on right now. Start digging in yo butt, twin. but what about start digging in yo twins butt. So here we go.

All right. This is Indian. Shit ass wrestling? Shit in your ass wrestling. They've said, fuck the Cow Dong Festival. We've got to put it all back. And this is the most efficient way to get it back in. Okay.

Why does this guy have tits? He's got his hand in his fucking, look, he's digging in his ass. And then he's... What the fuck? He just dropped a knee on his head like George Floyd. Yeah, so they're covered in shit and hay How many animals and people shit?

I don't know. I can't count that high. Man, there are never any women at these Indian festivals. Just never. Well, they're already full. So it's two, like, strong fat guys in whitey, in like,

red and purple tidies? yellow he tidies kind of wrestling but not really yeah and there's a ref oh my god and they're just

just knee dropped on his head and he's putting dirt in his fucking underwear dude what are they doing they're pinning this guy has tits and he's digging in the other guys

yeah like you're gonna start him like a lawn mower or something like what the fuck is going to Is this a sport? I have no idea.

Fast play, the sport. Astounding. The fact that there's so many people around watching. Just disgusting. Yeah, so that's one. So that was our found one. So now I bring you divorced Lord Farquod. A lot of people sent me this guy.

He's been on my watch list for a minute now. This is Alexo music. He is like as the title implies, we got divorced Lord Farquod over here. And he has what he has, He calls a boat studio in Miami. Amazing. No way down the vocal and guitar track for Bad to the Bone on the Boat Studio.

Yeah, so this guy's going to do a cover of Bad to the Bone. You know, a song that people can't listen to without fucking laughing. See, he's got. Flying V. Cool. Notice had the noise floor in that fucking place. All you hear's, foo. On the day I was bone. all the girls got around

And they gazed And white wonder At the joy that they found The head nurse spoke up She said him by my law She could tell her right away That I'm bad on the bone It's just

Bad on the bone You couldn't ask for a more Divorce Dad if you tried I really hate that that song exists I do too Well because then you get assholes like this Yeah And he's trying to sing it

Like he wrote it, but like he's, like, he wrote the words down. And like, yeah, this really means something to me. But it's like, dude, you're like. I was a badass baby. Yeah. Even when I was born, they knew I fucking sucked. Like, yeah. And so, thanks to everyone who's been sending me this guy,

I've had to bring him in this week because I'm afraid too many people are going to send him to me. So before he really blows the fuck up. Is this him playing? Yeah. So this is him just, he's got the fucking headset on. He's Britney Spears or something. I take around with me to do live performance, all right? Let's go check it out.

I think that you should be allowed to hunt and kill anyone in a band over 40. Yes. I think that should be part of it. Like, you could interrupt a performance and just knock them out or throw a tomato at them or something. Again, I think if you dress what you think your wife's fantasy, your ex-wife's fantasy is like, then you should be shot. He's dressing, yeah, he's looking for a. woman that this is their fantasy. Right.

Which is not, which doesn't exist. This hasn't existed since ever. But the 2000s is long gone. 26 years later, but. My new album just dropped pulled straight out of Miami. It's 10 lit dope-ass bomb tracks fusing electro rock, hip-hop, and it's got tracks like shiz. Fucking, dude, this guy's nuts.

I got chis and I'm gonna blow? I've been watching this guy for a few months now. Yeah. And again, for people to be like, hey, you check this guy. I'm like, damn it. Damn it. Stalks are. Those are the previews of his songs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fly girl. And the audio is wildly all over the place, of course. I cruise. It's about that time. What?

What? What. I do like that one. That's a good song. Where is this? Where's this album? Straight out of Miami. Check it out right now.

Streaming on Apple, YouTube. Okay. Yeah. New album dropped. Straight out of Miami, all right. Oh, that's a T-shirt. Oh. Straight out of Miami album.

But yeah, this guy is a trip. Oh, that's him. Maybe it's this. Chizz. Sexy motherfucker. Oh, that's all the songs. There's what? Yeah, there's what?

That was the best one. That's the best one. I think about all these crazy things and I'm like, what? All these crazy people, crazy places, crazy fucking things. Fucking magnets. What was all that shit flying in his face? What are those? Subway?

Turnstiles? He just filmed whatever was nearby. What? He's doing his own echoes? Oh, this guy's cool. This guy's cool. He's like butter's song.

Yeah. What in the butt? No, this guy's actually really cool. You want to sell them drugs to me, brother. Yo, I'm like, what? Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck you. This guy's awesome.

Is he making the sounds with his mouth too? I think so. This was done on a boat studio, Dick. Okay, sounds pretty cool. Yeah, no, this guy is awesome. Okay, so this next one is called the pre-flight inspection. All right. A.k.a.

If I'm flying your ass out, I better give videos like this. It's somebody's grandma shaking the phone cord. on the fucking in-flight phone like it's somebody's meat. She's jerking off the phone cord and recording it for some reason. Why is she doing that? She's sending that to whoever she's fucking landing at.

Just the damn... Of course, this bitch had to put it. Right, I know. Yeah, okay. So this is your new favorite realtor, Mrs. Doubtfire Jr. All right. Oh, wow.

Is this guy gay? Okay. So a fellow eastbound. Boston listing agent reached out to me and was like, hey, check out this new construction stuff. Look at his fucking lips. Just crusted to all fuck. Let's go take a look at these. Who would buy a house from this weirdo?

Dude. In Boston of all places. Like, what the fuck? Jesus Christ. All right. Yeah, so anyway. It's great house. It's got a whole account full of that.

So this is Kelly the taxidermist Okay Do you like minks at all? Oh well she'll What the fuck So Kelly minks

Yeah so Bob Ross can't paint cabins But Kelly can't do eyes or teeth This is a taxidermist That makes Dead animals Go ahead and click on her account too So it's a dead mink But it's wearing a little baseball outfit

And its eyes are too close together. It's teeth or like people teeth. It's not a color of any team that I know of. Right. Teal. Click on the account because she does other ones too. There's one where they're like getting married that I really love.

All she does is taxidermy minks. Yeah. Oh, go to the wedding one. That's my favorite. What the fuck? Look at their eyes. Look at those fucking faces, man. Oh, and the little hat.

Did somebody get this as a wedding present? I don't know, but if she's doing commissions, I would like to get a price check on a U.N. Bank, so we could put them at the desk right here. These are so fucked. Let's get one of Sean. Let's get a... Yeah.

Okay, if someone wants to get a Sean... Black V-neck. But yeah, I just, man, good, you know... What a weirdo. Absolute weirdo But dude Everything on that account is fucked To death

Okay What's next This is Why are they all dead How did she get so many dead minks I know dude I have so many questions And zero answers

This is a mink dressed up like a little fairy And they're not like The minks don't stand up like that On two feet like a human No because I looked up Because I was like there's no way It's Look at the shit

The cowboy mink It's a mink that's stuffed And it's giving like a saucy little pose I spent hours just like scrolling through It was like no fucking way They're good Here's the sheriff Yeah okay

She built like a whole city with these fuckers Or the show that I'm gonna be in I thought I'd show this one again And kind of explain Why I price this them or how I price them the way I do. Okay. They're not cheap, I guess.

Each mink has like $100 into them. But like this guy, this suit seriously is gorgeous. It's retarded. It's not gorgeous. No, it's beautiful. Look at the craftsmanship. It's masterful work. So you're all.

It's like a dead rat Yeah These are beautifully made I love the detail you put into each character And of course they are goofy Goofy adorable tuferes What? Dude people

Like genuinely love these I'm like I kind of get it now Because I'm hooked Like man these are great Man I need like a hundred of these Look at this Sossy gentleman Oh he's a criminal

dressed in the hamburger outfit. Just like a fucking footlocker employee. Why do they all have their hands on their hips? Dude, of all the artists in this world, right? I finally found a true master. Is that their mouth that's open? Yeah, I think.

I think it's supposed to be like a tongue. I think you're right. Just like, look at the... How could you look at that and not have a brightened day? I think my day is even brighter now, just thinking about them. Oh my god There's a whole wall of them

A ton of them No Does she have the Marvel guys Like Iron Man and stuff She's got to do it like Captain America Yeah I want to see her do the Ant Hill mob next Captain Mink

America Mink A bumblebee man These are horrifying These are all horrifying These are all horrifying That one's got a little paper mache thing That one's got a little paper msay mask This one's weird

Clown one fucking goofy The clown one's got no clothes on You got either No no you gotta put clothes on All of them or none of them Right You can't do some of them No clothes

They do have hats On some of them Oh no Man I don't If I was a mink I wouldn't want to be turned into this When I was dead

No I know You got the Girl Scout mink They got the Who boy Okay Oh yeah Okay All right

Where can we go to get these go to look up Kelly's dot Minks on oh yeah you can actually buy them she has a whole room full of them wow

one of a kind one of a kind dude Mr. Nipkin has sold the fuck out fucking what the hell are these teeth right when you know

and she keeps sucking like that's fucking crazy they look like fucking chicklet ass fucking veneer teeth wait a minute

so she keeps She's putting fake human teeth on them also. Oh, yeah. Mix. Dude, she's the best, man. Johnny, this is a really fucked up. If you hate this one, you're going to really hate the next one. It's also-

Why do they have to have these teeth? Dude, look at how close to eyes. So, okay, open a new tab and look up taxidermy mink. Wait a minute. Because just look at like a new. normal taxidermy mink just as like a control. Why has it got these teeth and the tongue? If you ever seen those pictures of like when people didn't know how to like just like

draw like a sheep or whatever back in the day? It's kind of like that because now look up like a regular just taxidermy mink. Like this. eBay. Right. Like that looks normal. Normal. Eyes correctly spaced and you know all that.

Normal rodent's mouth. Yeah. It just looks like a. Broden, but this is... Uh-oh, did I lose it? It's somewhere, yeah. There we go. Yeah, that's like normal.

That's normal, right? This is... It was described as beautiful. It is. You don't think that's beautiful? It's gorgeous. Look at all the craftsmanship and expertise. Look, it's got a little suspenders,

so his pants all down. Why is he so happy? If you get to live your life You know You're silly Yeah It's a fucking retarded mink Why do they have

Why do they have all The front teeth for all their teeth It's only front teeth The only constant is the teeth The tongue and the fact that it's a mink Or was a mink at one point Everything else fair game Like there could be like a Gumby one

There could be like a You never know dude This is psychotic They're all sold out The Millie was $450 That someone fucking bought that But they're one of a kind Yeah

They're she's Hat Jessica NFT bros and crypto bros Blown the fuck out This lady's cranking out Originals for no less than three digits Look at the It looks like googly eyes she taped on

It does It does I love the teeth though Okay It's just captivating Okay I need one. This last one is if cows are sacred India, then what are goats?

So I'm sorry in advance, but... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Her goat is not eating milk out of her lactating tit. Not one hit play. No, no. That's right. One goat per tit. This is India in your fucking ass.

I'm gonna throw up. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. absolutely not no fucking way oh man when I saw that cross my feed it took everything in me

not to fold my phone in half poddog style out of sheer rage so the fact that I had to see that everybody else is seeing that one I thought all the cow tongue festival

the Diwali was bad all this was bad enough I saw that Oh, okay. Let's do some voicemails. Hey, Nick, I got a rage for you. Whistling. Yeah.

Fuck you if you whistle in public. I do. I love it. I love it. Fuck you. I'm trying to go to the store and buy my shit and get the fuck out. I don't need your fucking whistling in my fucking ear, you fucking faggot. Oh, come on.

A man is a man. It's not whistling. And another man is within ear shot. You might as well be fucking him in the air. Okay? I don't want your fucking whistling airwaves, your sound waves, answering my fucking ear against my will, you fucking prick. Want me to just go fart in your face? You want to hear my fucking bark? No, obviously not. So I don't want to hear your fucking whistling. You fucking prick. You fucking attention whore. Oh, look at me. I'm whistling. Aren't I great? Aren't I the alpha chat? Because I'm whistling in public. Everybody has to put up with me. You should have been fucking... Ugh, anyway.

Tell me back. Half a point for this guy, because most people who whistle in public do it poorly. Yeah. But the half point docked because he used the Fler. So I'm going to send those two Indian guys to go shove shit in your ass for that one. I could inward whistle too.

So that way I never stop whistling. I go... Oh, I thought that meant you were going to beatbox along with it. You see that? I can whistle inwardly too, so that I never have to take a break to breathe. I see. Isn't that amazing?

It's incredible. It's incredible. You can't even tell which ones are the inward whistles too. See, watch, guess. Totally, total mystery. Even the computer's saying it can't tell. The computer. Hey, Dick, hey Johnny.

Love you. Love the show. Quick programming note for us audio listeners. I love Johnny's brain rot, but sometimes it's hard to follow because I'm just listening audio only. I know it's kind of a video segment. So you guys can do Fat Watch before that, because sometimes I have to just tune out during the...

Well, we always do it before it, all right? We always do Fat Watch before it, sir. Precisely for that reason. What are you talking about? Do Fat Watch first. We always do Fat Watch first. Wait, what's so important that you can't watch Brain Rot? Get your computer out.

You're already scrolling through your Instagram, right in your brain anyway. What do you have a phone? You have some kind of a phone that doesn't have a screen on it? Your algorithm's not as good as this one. Get the fuck off of that. Blow your brains out. Dickhead?

Hey, Dick. A little update, just for funsies. Got pulled over, going over 100 and a 65. It blew a point three. Went to jail for a night. Got back up. Went and got my car. I mean, shit.

Was it worth it? No. Yeah, I think so. it was pretty fun uh call me back point three you are a shit faced

you are a fucking danger yeah do you go you deserve to go to jail that's way too that's way too fast I posture that he wasn't going

fast enough yeah maybe 120 it'd been okay yeah make it a divisible number come on hey dick uh

yeah I got fucking robbed again A car got broken into And a bunch of shit got stolen Oh fun It was a fucking suit for a wedding He suits for like a

Basically fucking Flenderman-type build So the fucking flip that shit Why would you steal that shit You stupid bitch Stole a suit for a wedding? Does it mean I don't have to go to the stupid fucking wedding anymore? Why did you have a suit for her wedding? in a car. That's what

pisses me off about the phone. What? It sounds like he's on the phone just kind of like me and like going about his day, doing his own thing, but we're captive to having to fucking listen to someone who doesn't give a fuck enough to be on the phone. Well, yeah, you've got to buy a suit

to go to the wedding. Go steal someone's suit. Exactly, yeah. If you believe in karma at all, go steal someone else's suit. Jake, I've been listening since the very beginning, and I've never called before, but I just, I had to, I'm on my way home from work, and I'm listening to the biggest problem in the universe uncooked. And Maddox is on here talking about driving to Mexico and having Mexican spinning in his

mouth so he gets bird flu, and then the Halloween episode, he's talking about dressing up as Dracula in a cowboy hat, and then he starts drinking the hot sauce all. to air and I just I just realized that Maddox is the biggest fucking idiot he's the original quirk chungis Maddo in my life

Jesus Christ I just had to call so there you go dick it's that like carefully crafted persona of quirking and chungasing that he did before anybody else he was like look I'm gonna

I drink hot sauce because I'm a quirk chungis. It's all the shit that he always would brag about doing. It's all cork chungus shit. Fuck, dude. Reddit Quirk chungis, man. Yeah, the hot sauce chugging always struck me as like... Major quirk chungis.

Man. All his Halloween costumes. Look who gives a fuck. You know what I was for Halloween? Annoyed. Yeah. Drunk. That's cool.

Again. Hey man. I've been casting up on some of the episodes, and I don't know if you're aware or not, but a lot of people have been losing their shit over the Secretary of War now. Keith Heggis, basically he called every single... Oh, yeah, that's kind of old news. Okay.

Jesus Christ, Dick, you call yourself a Mexican, you don't know that if you fuck with the end of your tape measure, it gets inaccurate? I'm going to go, lose your man card, I guess. They probably use your tape measure to connect your, you know, your pipes to the sewage there. You know, because that's probably what happened. Dumbass. No, I think most people don't use the end because it gets out of whack.

They just use, like, an inch in. Well, again, I bring up the sidewalks in Mexico. It doesn't matter if you're, if they could get within that little wiggle room of precision. They can't get in within the wiggle room. They're eyeballing everything. They're not fucking using it. Mm-hmm. Uh, okay, one more.

Well, hello, Dick and Johnny. I just calling to have a little bit of a rage for you. So we all know our good friend Cartnarks. Yeah. Which is hilarious. Great. I won't get into it. Anyway, I was pushing my cart in the rain to go back to the corral, right?

Corral's empty. It's early in the morning. It's like 7.30, right? So it's raining. I don't want to walk all the way. So I give it a good push, right? Perfect angle. goes straight into the corral right at an angle,

hits the edge of the side one. Cool, yeah, great. Flies nice and perfect, like, just straight on into the corral, right? I'm really great about myself. Except, it bumps the front, right? It goes all the way to the end of the carrow

and hits the front of it. Even better. I guess because there's the wind and probably the angle that I was doing it at. When I pushed it, it, like, created this arc. And I'm not kidding you,

this motherfucking cart turned all the way around, like 100% 180, but it's facing out of the corral. So you created a big problem. It had like a mind of its own or a small motor just started creeping out on the corral.

And left the corral. Like straight up just left the corral. I already walked away. I was probably like 30 foot away at this point. But I was looking at it and I was like, man, I wonder what Mr. Cartnark's would say to me in this situation. I've already done my due diligence

and now the cart is... No, you made a big fucking problem. You did the worst amount. Oh, yeah, that's the rage. carts that don't stand in the crowd. Yeah, you did too much. God damn it. That's not the right thing.

Doing too much is even worse than doing nothing. Yeah. It's the point. You tried to beat the system. It's called doing the right amount, not just like doing a bunch. Yeah. Do something.

Do it correctly. Yeah. Or just don't fucking do it. And someone who will do it correctly will come along. Someone who's fucking job it is, who will fucking hate you until the end of time because you can't fucking put a cart back. You fucked it up.

Big time. Dickhead? Okay. I missed it. Hey, Dick, hey, Johnny. What makes me a rage is getting charged more money because they use your fucking rewards number. I was buying some sweatpants and a dress with my girlfriend, putting my rewards number,

and the fucking cost of the stuff went up 20 bucks. Wait, wait, wait. What were you doing? Let me hear that again. They use your fucking rewards number. I was buying some sweatpants and addressed with my girlfriend, putting my rewards number. You're buying a dress with your girlfriend?

I was buying some sweatpants and a dress with my girlfriend. Try to sneak that in that you're wearing a dress. Buying sweat. I'm just buying some sweatpants. Yeah, if this was on the SAT preps, they would be like, no, this guy's like, you're paying attention. I'm buying a pocket knife,

some butch stuff, shaving cream, you know, man stuff. Buying a gun lube, buying a whittling magazine and a dress. No big deal. What was that? Why do people qualify things if they do not want them immediately lambasted? The dress?

What are you buying? Pride Month is over. Putting my rewards number and the fucking cost of the stuff went up 20 bucks. Lo and behold, they actually have a fucking system in the back in that figures out how much upcharge they can get away with and you pay still. And lo and behold, they're correct. But it still drives me up the fucking wall that I got a additional 20 fucking dollars. Burn it down.

Burn that's, burn that fucking store down. Anyway, go fuck yourselves. Bye. Burn down the sweatpants and dress store. Yeah, first of all, stop buying dresses. Yeah, that's why they were out charging you. Or just say you bought a dress to wear. Don't be so coy about it, try to sneak it in with all that other stuff.

So you bought a dress, no big deal. Don't soft launch your dress buying on our show. Not on this, on Saturday, on Shabbis of all days. Not on Shabbas. Yeah, what makes me a rage is women who feel the need to comment on your parenting in public. Huh. You would not do a fucking. better job, okay? You do not need to tell me

that my kid needs to settle down because he's singing while we're eating at Burger King or maybe he's hopping around in front of the cart when I'm at the grocery store. Okay, I've seen kids with fucking single moms, they're fucked, okay? And then I look at you, you have women say this has this happened multiple times and they're fat as hell. So you don't

have any self-control either. I have no fucking clue. Drop slur on him. Oh, yeah? And word. And then. He's like, he needs to be better, okay? You can't easily better. Oh, yeah. And, boom, blow her ass out. What do I fucking care, okay? I get it if he's being a nuisance.

But I think he could sing while we're sitting in a booth at Burger King before he goes and plays in the playplace. Okay? Yeah, go grip one of them, crowns. I'll be right back. Crown this shit. That little girl needs to lose her attitude or no one's going to want her because it's fucking weird. But these single fat bitches feel that need to comment for whatever fucking reason and it pisses me off.

there's a type of gay guy that cries about kids too like you better you can't you can't you know hey what are you going to molest you know if there's no kids around you gotta take the good with the bad queer man like all the fruit

at the grocery store isn't all perfect man man all the flavors of fruit you got to be sour uh sour tart what kind of you are. My nephew's got Pokemon shoes and they're different colors

because they're red and blue, you know, Pokemon shoes. And somebody, she was at checkout with her kid and he's wearing his shoes and she overheard some old man turn to somebody and she's like, oh, he left the shoes with the wrong, they left the house with the wrong shoes. Can't believe that. She'd let her do that.

She got soapy. She's like, excuse me? What were you saying about? I was like jeez relax she got all pissed off like this guy I'm like yeah wow well yeah that's cool I mean fuck them it's just funny yeah well the crazy thing is is like

if you're eating inside of a burger king you either a have kids or B are so fucking down bad that you're like you know I gotta eat inside yeah get the fuck get out of here what are you doing get out of here get out of here okay that's show everyone patreon dot com slash the dick show

dig dot show we'll see next Tuesday bye bye and go check out Weight Watchers Presenting Three Get it Get it One of my faves This weirdos says

I need these minks man Yeah Dude There was a Sean Bink that lived in here Sean as an animal In this merry corner would be I need a Sean mink Is this a head on the wall?

Come on What is that And it's a nose ring? Ew That's just tasteless Oh What is this shit Dude this looks like something that your guy would make

Yeah You know What's this What the hell is this? The balloon that he's holding I think it's a mask It puts on Oh

Because if that's a balloon That's fucked Cocker socks I've never wanted anything more for my 50th birthday than this? Is that a real account? Man. Yeah. How precious.

Yeah. Can you please make another like this or the party animal? I want one. Creepy. The Cowboy Gith. Oh, the Sailor with the pipe is great, too. That's fun. Does she know these are fucked? I don't know.

I can't. I truly can't tell. I would say thank you for purchasing my minks. Nope. She does not. Yeah. That's it. Goodbye. Goodbye, everybody.