The Dick Show - Episode 485 Dick On Quirk Chungus World

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Christmas comes early this year, some immigrants build a terrible house, a bad way to meet women, too fat for fudge, a Maddox discovery about the self-insert Power Puff Girls episode, video games in Quirk Chungus World, a toilet with no seat, Indian airlines and wheelchairs, and Epstein becomes Yakub; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Video cannot be monetized on the biggest problem. What the? Start recording it. All right, start streaming. This is, this is just for that one guy on Reddit that spurgs out when we check the streams. When the show launches. Why don't you, why don't you figure out your issues before you're streaming? Oh, hang on, I think there's an issue right here. Uh-oh. Do a check, Johnny. Do a check on all the mics, would you? Oh.

There's actually another issue. There's another issue here. And then I go here and check to make sure it's on, right? He absolutely hates that. I'm going to wait for a second. This right now, what we're doing right now is just infuriating to that guy. Right now, it's just infuriating. Every week, every week.

It drives him totally insane that we're doing such things as checking the video to see if it's on. All righty, the guys, who's that? Frozen Snake, a favorite chatter of mine, who's. chatting away on the Rumble stream. Frozen Snake, welcome to the show. I hope you're not that guy. This, right here, this is... He just loses it.

I imagine him in his car having the same monologue. This fucking bullshit! This fucking bullshit! They're doing it again! Every week. Every week. You don't get paid enough to check your audio before their show starts? He's... like that guy.

What's that meme? He's like, I hate that. asshole and the guy's like a normal guy just walking you know yeah you know that one that I'm talking about I hate you asshole I hate you son of a bitch and the guys I got a mustache and he's like la da da da da da da da da da you know that guy that I'm talking about okay okay I just had a brain a eureka brain moment okay okay I'm in a great mood what time is it uh 1221 tell me the second that it turns 1230 okay because my wife is taking my son to her friends friend's house and I'm going to run upstairs and drink every beer in the fridge.

The second she leaves. Tell me, you tell me, you tell me when that clock hits. I couldn't do that when Sean was here. I didn't want to trigger his, you know, so I really tapered my alcohol. Oh, right. I don't know if anyone noticed. I would try to. I can't say it with a straight face.

Here, let's piss off the tech guy again. Let's check if the stream is going. Yeah, looks good. Looks good. I'll get you next time I'm going to turn the AC on Maybe that'll piss them off too I don't know if it's any sort of tech

Or just the streaming tech Okay, what did I have? Multiple Epiphanies and I said I was in a good mood That's the key to storytelling Is you have to set up multiple threads They'll do it in, they do it in loss and stuff like that But you also can do it in real life You hook, you can hook bitches in

or any man or woman, bitches. Bitches. Bill Ackman had a real, laid a real doozy, a steamer on us on the internet today. Ooh, baby. Bill Ackman, billionaire,

straight homosexual, billionaire. Piece of shit. Fucking Bill Ackman. He's the guy that funded that app where you go to a bar with other guys. Yeah, talker, grinder, gayer.

That you called it. The bar where you, the app where you can go meet guys to just talk and not have homosexual encounters. I'm not yes or no, but it's a app you can go have a conversation with a man. How did that guy say it on the bonus? Bonus episode on patreon.com slash the dick show. A guy sent in an invention that was an app where you could meet other men to go to a bar and talk about your problems. Or to have a conversation about something. He didn't say it was for gay reasons, but...

But he proposed it as like a one-night stand kind of thing. Yeah, he said it's a one-night stand for a friend. Motherfucker, what? First of all, you don't, that's not what friend means. Was friend in quotes? I can't remember. I don't remember. Was there any dick sucking involved in that app?

Just that one guy at home alone, sucking his own dick. Said me the dumbest invention idea ever in the history of the world. Sucking his own dick at the bar. Okay. So you see this Santa Claus? on my Diet Coke that I purchased at the liquor store and then put on top of a six pack of beer and then showed my wife that I only bought Diet soda

at the liquor store when she said Why is it in a bag if it's only Diet soda? I said I thought you'd say something like that And I opened it up and it was Diet Coke And she didn't ask to see what was underneath You see this Santa Claus? I do. That means it is Christmas time

The soda people know that it is Christmas time. I put up, I was putting up Christmas lights for the first time ever on my house. That's why the ladder's out there. That fucking super agro-crague

of ladders, Jesus Christ. The ladder will go 100 feet. People come from all up and down the street to borrow my ladder because I know I got the biggest ladder in town. You would climb down from the space station on that ladder. Jesus Christ. I pulled up and was like,

what the fuck is going on here? If you extend my ladder all the way, it won't even stay up under its own weight. No, it's a bow. It will bow down. Like a bow. Like an Indian shooting bow. Hold it like this. Whoa!

You got to wiggle it around. I put my Christmas lights up and I'm all excited to be putting my Christmas lights up so my fucking son has a Merry Christmas for the first time. The first time I put Christmas lights up, I was so. drunk, I just, I plugged him, I plugged him in. I got one of those 50 strands, rainbow, shitty tiny ones, plugged it in, I took it out of the box, I dropped it, I got it tangled up,

tried to untangle, it made it worse, and said, fuck it, threw it out in the yard. And that was my Christmas lights for the year. Did you at least plug them in? They were plugged in, yeah. Oh, cool, yeah. Hey, if there's light, then it's... And then we had a Christmas party, and I said,

um, they're like, which house is it? It's the lights with, it's the one with the lights, uh, in the yard. The bird nest. Yeah, it's the one with the lights that are in the yard, not in the house. And Sean pulls up and he goes, oh, is that what you meant by lights? Look for the lights and I said, yeah. He goes, man, that's bad even for you.

And I said, well, so I'm trying to do it up right this year. Spared no expense. That means $200. That means under $200 and not a penny more. I bought these cool lights and then I go to, hang him up and I'm like oh I don't have like a gutter any hooks or anything

alright and they have these weird metal caps on the wall of my house there's nothing to hang them on so I look it up and the internet's like use magnets like okay magnets so I go buy the magnets the magnets are like three times the price of the lights whatever

it's Christmas okay it's no expense you said no expense spared you know like Jurassic Park. Spared no expense. That's the word. I can't even say it. I start putting in the, I wait till the baby's nice and revved up and crying and screaming. I'm like, all right, I'm going to go put the Christmas lights up. Take these beers with me if you don't mind? Don't mind if I do. Put the ladder up. I can start drinking when I get on the roof so I'm too drunk to climb down.

I can't. I'm stuck up here, right? I got to sober up before I come down. I start putting the lights on, putting them on these magnet clips, which look amazing. This fucking neighbor walks by, and she goes, ah, you're really, you're really getting after Christmas this year, huh? I said, yeah.

What's it to you? She's like, oh, it's a little early. Be putting the lights up. I said, oh, okay, well, you know, it's like your opinion, man, all right. You forgot to pick up the two most important accessories to harbor freight, you were there. Yeah, what's that? A wrist rocket and a fucking industrial pack and nine-hairs.

You know what? I have a slingshot. I'm going to bring it up next time. So any of these Christmas eunuchs or whatever they are, grumps, any of these grumps coming by talking shit about my lights is going to get a rock and I have gravel on my roof too, so I have unlimited firepower. That's what I'm saying. Save your dead batteries. Like, bring them up there. Just bring them up there. Leave a few in your car or someone's tailgating you even. Just- Fucking next fucking wandering fucking next fucking wandering Christmas slug

oozing down the street Hey this is a little early to be putting up lights I'm like what the fuck is this What is this shit? How is it? It's not It's not Halloween anymore It's a little early to be shitting on my Christmas spirit Yeah so maybe these are just my Thanksgiving lights Why don't you relax?

Why don't you know What did I'm? Is there some kind of memo that you Cocksuckers send out? Actually these are I'm gonna the RGB B lights, I'm going to put it on blue. These are my Jewish Hanukkah lights. Oh, you can't say shit. You can't say shit about this.

This is for October 7th. Every motherfucker that walks by my house, a little early to be put a little early to be putting up. Motherfucker, I have never put up lights one time. You know, that's why people don't go outside anymore, man. You wash the car. Everyone has some shit to say about it. Everyone has some shit to say about it.

If you're doing anything for a prolonged amount of time, someone is going to have something to fucking say about it, and it's the most goddamn annoying thing I could possibly think of. You took all the happiness that I had doing magnets on my roof. How do they work even? Yeah. I should have brought the earplugs up here. Then I could just go, right? You should have whipped your dick out and started pissing all over.

I'm going to put a big, I'm going to put in lights, a big fuck you, right on the front of my house. A big go-trump, even though I don't. feel that way because of all the stuff he was saying this week. What is it with people, man? It's the most boomer shit. It's the fucking boomers, man. It's the most boomer shit.

Everything's got to be a goddamn lecture. We got to stop the cycle of lectures. Oh, the cycle of violence. Someone's doing something. Let me take all the wind out of their sales. Let me really pop their queers for them. Oh, yeah? Hang in some lights?

Well, you know, it's a little earlier, a little late to be doing that. How about I string you up? How about I put a magnet in your Up your anus? Suck it out the other side with a superconductor. How about I rig up a Chevy Volt? Suck that magnet right through your, right through your esophagus. What the fuck is your problem?

Get the fuck out of here. Every time, man. Every time. Every fucking time. Two of them. So I know it's not too early. So are they in the store? Oh, soda.

Soda's got Santa on it. You're early to me. Coca-Cola Corporation, they're too early for Santa. They fucking invented the thing, yeah. It's not too early. They invented Santa. It's not too early for Santa and Christmas things. You will enjoy Santa when they fucking tell you to.

Yeah. Here's what else. Yeah, I'll play the theme song first, so that guy on Reddit doesn't lose his mind. Maybe he thinks all of that is checking the audio. Maybe that's why. Oh, maybe. Did it hit the 1230 yet? Oh, yeah!

You want to take any of it? Dickie, Love Dickie. Got it! The show and his contest coming live from Mountain Bunker, Deep in the Heart of the City Failure. My host, Nicky the $20 million man. Joining me always is Johnny the audio engineer. What's happening, dude? Can you look, tell me I'm crazy with this. Look at this shit. All right. You see this? Do you see this?

Cookie Monster puppet? Yeah. Okay. Look at how, look at the mouth. Does this look? Look at how I'm opening the mouth, okay? You see he's got arms? Yeah. Cookie Monster, right? You know, you remember Cookie Monster, right? I do remember Cookie Monster.

I love eating cookies. Right. Like, Nick Rakeda loves crack. That's me. Cookie Monster. You see, I'm nodding the head to do it because I bought this. I was so excited to buy a puppet for my son to do, you know, to do puppety things. Hey, wow.

That's a great thing, yeah. Why would your mom say that? You know, slam, just jokes. I, mom's being a real quirk chung this today. Performative quirkiness. She looked it up. I was teasing her so much

with quirk chunga shit that my wife looked up what a quirk chungis is and now I can't use it anymore. Well, that's not very quirk chungus. I know. Okay, so I got this cookie monster to play with my son.

I was like puppets. Oh, hell yeah, cookie monster. Look at that. That's bright as fine. Fuck, he's going to love that. Eyes don't really do googly stuff. That's okay. That's okay, right?

I'm like, oh, well, is it going to be a good quality? 30 bucks. That's good quality, right? I want to get the good, high quality. I want my son to have a better life than me. I want him to have nice high quality stuff right from the beginning and not grow up into me, cheaping out on everything. You know, car doesn't work, solar doesn't work, crooked cement,

being getting poured outside. I'm going to start him here with a nice, real authentic label Cookie Monster Wow it has the Sesame Street tag and everything Fucking logo on and there

Look at the mouth And then I go to I go to do a nice little Puppety presentation With the cookie monster This mouth opens And I stretch the fuck out of this And it still opens about

Three quarters of an end This is look at my Flexing Mike You try it Please show the jury That I'm not faking With the cookie monster mouth Fucking you need to swap it out

With a Mr. Mouthhead Dude It doesn't know It doesn't open at all. What the fuck is that? It's giving me like carpal tunnel trying to open the cookie monster mouth. This is, no. 30 bucks.

30 bucks for this shit. It's going back. The point of cookie monster is he's supposed to like. Exactly. Maybe Bert, I could get some play with the mouth going like, right? He's got a little more nuance. Yeah. Cookie is not one for nuance.

He is a fucking gate. Eat the mouth. Eat the cookies with the mouth. Abab, Bob, Bob, Bob. Doesn't open at all. He doesn't even eat them. He just makes a mess everywhere,

but it's great all the same. But, you know, the mouth's got to open a little bit. A lot of bit. Yeah, a lot of bit. It's got to open more than that. It's fucking bullshit. Who put the fucking limiter on the cookie monster mouth, man? What the fuck?

Some Chinese shit. Where the fuck was this made, India? What did this get made? Let's see. Spin Master Limited Ontario Indians Yeah

Okay That fucking Indians Yeah Yep Spin Master International Yep Uh Made in China

Of course Ah wow Designed by Indians Made in China Designed by Indians made in China Hmm If that don't If that don't say it all

Bonus episode What did we do? Oh yeah We learned about Maddox's Maddox told a story about when he went to a porn star's birthday party and he was the first one there

Not even invited Not invited He was invited by friends And he showed up before everybody else There's some strange weirdo And he brought a bottle of wine To a porn star's Orgiastic birthday party

What a weirdo That's on the bonus episode Patreon.com slash the dick show him Remember when he said he'll always be the first one at a party to like, well, all the food's closed. I'm going to go open it up and like let's just someone get it started. Oh yeah, get it started.

Do you think he was there first and then started? Just getting it started before like two hours before anyone even showed up? Let's see, I sat in a, I sat in the toilet with no lid today with no seat part. I didn't know how that ever happened to people because you know they're always crying about it like you've got to put the seat down and it fucking happened to me

and I was it was really it was as embarrassing as you would imagine man were you trying to shit in the dark no it was bright daylight oh then that's on you

bright daylight in fact I did it I even put it up and then I sat down I was like whoa the floor is the where's the seat whoa I walked up, wrote it in the baby book. I sat in the toilet with no seat today.

That sounds like something the baby would do. Ah, yeah, I know. It does. See. I just got PTSD from all the screaming that there is. Man, been Guantan mode, man. Yeah, I'm like, Abu-braibed. Whatever.

Both of us are. Tripping out. That's kind of cool, though. It's not cool. It sucks. It actually, it sucks. Every time I see you, your health bar looks a little lower.

I'm like, how are you doing, digging? You're like, oh. Because I got poisoned. It's going down. Every time I move, flashing purple. So I try to stay. still as possible so my health bar doesn't go down anymore because there's no cure for it.

You just have to wait until you're dead. Well, and then I, I weighed myself. This brings me back to what I was saying at the beginning of the show. I've been avoiding that since the baby came because my wife's lost like 30 pounds or however much. She looks normal again. And I was like, oh, I didn't lose any weight. Dad Max. I haven't been trying, and I haven't been trying either, so.

Cool. And I, babies like the mirror, you know. Babies like looking in the mirror. Did you know that? I did know that. They fucking love it. They're just like, oh, oh. Look in the mirror.

That baby looks insane. Oh, looking in the mirror. So that means I spend a lot of time in the mirror. Looking at my fat stomach. I'm like, oh, man, this is. This is bad. You're looking bad, man. So I said today, I'm like, all right, you got to weigh yourself, dude.

I'm putting it off. I'm like, okay, that's, that's, I took one shit. Maybe I could take another shit before the, before doing it. I don't know, how many shits are you supposed to take in the morning? Two or three? Maybe I could squeeze a third one out of there, go weigh myself. I'm in the shower, you know, dreading it, right? Like, oh, God.

Oh, then I'm thinking, you gotta just stop. You gotta stop with the popcorn. Stop eating the popcorn so much, because I'm stress eating so much, because I got sick. Okay, I bought, I bought the Halloween candy last year. Do you remember that? I bought the Halloween candy last year. I spent $5 and I got a trash bag full of shit that nobody wants,

especially not me, which is all that I care about. It was dots, Neko, fucking wafers, Tootsie Pop rappers, they didn't even have Tootsy Pops in them. It was just the rappers and sticks. It was a bag. I bought the Halloween candy last year, and it was a bag of this stuff. The kids came over, kids hated it. They're like, what the fuck kind of candy is this?

I said, it doesn't matter. Your mom's gonna throw away the candy anyway. That's why I keep trying to explain to my wife. It doesn't matter. You're not, but we're not feeding fucking snap recipients here. What happened to the fucking treat, or the trick aspect of trick or treat. I take the trick. Here you go. Here you go.

Dude. Here's some great candy. Here, let's see a trick. Let's see a trick. That was back before I replaced the front of my house. Go nuts. Spray paint, whatever you want. Write the N-word. I don't care. I can't believe these kids did this. Oh! Every Halloween. What the fuck? Every Halloween. These kids are writing F-slurs, N-words, N-F. And it's getting better looking each year.

Fuck the J's, especially Dave Puck. Portnoy they wrote this year on the front of my house. Fuck! Can you believe it? These goddamn kids! Rating it every year. And they're doing donuts with my car. In a mask.

In a mask. In a mask. In a mask. I got the video. If you can see. And if you'll notice, the gate, the walk, the person that took my car wearing a mask and did donuts, the way they're walking to the car.

is slightly different than the way I walk, which, as you know, is a way that you can identify people is by their walk. So if you'll just please look at that, you can tell that it's not me. Because they have a limp, which I don't have. Just look at this bouncing sorrow logo everywhere.

It's fine. I bought the Halloween candy last year, and it was perfect. $5. You wouldn't even think you could get a bag of candy for $5. Great number. For someone else's candy,

I could feed half, I could feed probably half the ghetto. Feeding the $5,000 with the fucking bag of candy? Yeah, it's the, all that matters is calories. I'll just walk down Skid Row fucking hammering them with dots and Tootsy Pops. Dots are such a bullshit fucking candy too, because the packaging, you're like, oh, that's cool. Like, those look like they could be pretty good. And they are not.

Absolute fucking teeth destroyers. The fucking gummy, the gummy vitamins are better than dots. Does suck. The flavor is shabes. It tastes like scabs. It's like, what, how? They're made of scabs. It's like a wart.

Well, it's also made of warts, too. That's one of the other flavors. But it's just like, it's so fucking whatever they're made of is so densely chewy that it's just like. Yeah. You'll be two days later. You're like, did I eat dots? I'm trying to shit them out. Sounds like a machine gun.

Oh my God. My son's got some shotgun farts. Really? Yeah, when I grab him in the morning, I pick him up out of his crib, and I can tell because he's like, ah, and I'll grab his neck and I'll go, and then he'll just fart out a big, huge wad of shit. Like, whoa, the diaper will go like, whew, Jesus Christ, this guy. Baby been drinking IPAs, too?

Holy shit. I don't, it sounds like it. He's got some sort of a. Cool. wife's like, was that the baby or you? Like, it's the fucking babies. It's fucking farting like crazy over here. So what are you been feeding him?

What are you eating? Um, so I bought the candy. Five bucks. As I said. Everyone hated it. But when Halloween was over, I was just like, oh yeah? $5 candy?

Boom, garbage. See ya. My wife buys the candy this year. It's like 40 bucks. And then she was worried that we were going to run out. So she bought more. I'm like, are you insane? How are you going to run out?

Just like, well, you give like two or three to each kid? I said, no. You give one to each kid. You put it on their fucking head. Sometimes you just miss them. You open it, dude, mud it on their face. Here, eat it, you piece of shit. Don't throw this away.

Do not throw this away. Tell your parents not to throw this fucking candy away. You throw this in my yard. I'm going to shoot you. I spent my hard-earned money on this candy. don't throw it away eat it I know you're going to throw it away anyway

and then I was sick on Halloween so I didn't give out any candy I just stayed in my room watching Hasbin Hotel gay ass show fucking gay ass show about spiders getting raped anyway so November rolls around and I'm like all right candy here you go oh I'm not throwing away

$40 of candy? I guess I'm just gonna eat it all then. Fuck. How can you throw away $40? You can't throw away $40 of candy? Can you? That's like throwing away fucking $40, man. I'm going to wait $40, man.

That's halfway to my goal. I'm never going to hit the goal if I throw away $40 of candy. That's a fucking afternoon. So now I'm mowing through candy every day. Getting fatter and fatter. To the point where last night. My wife goes, why don't you have a drink?

I'm like, I'm too fucking fat. I wake up this morning. Like, maybe I should have a drink for the show. I'm too fucking fat. Well, how fat are you? It's time. It's time to step on the scale. Which I've been dreading all morning.

I get a... I take a second shit. All right. I get to do this. I'm going to wash my hair. I'm going to do this before I get in the shower. I don't want any, you know, water to disrupt it. I get on the scale.

I'm like, all right. Ah! down to 16. I said, oh, that's fat, but that's not as fat as that thought. Ah!

Da-da-da-da. So my point is, where's the beer? That was my point. It's about 15 minutes late. 15 minutes late. I know it's too late now. I'll get it later.

Hmm. Here's a, here's a fun piece of here's a fun thing that I saw this is a this is something some immigrants made wait this is Wyd Lyman this is

Lyman what are you talking about Look at his name it's Wyd Lyman It's Wyd Lyman But where's Witt out Lyman Yeah This is a three-story Home edition that some immigrants made

Uh That makes me fucking sick To house their Their grandparents Yeah So they Let me jump around I'll just play it

Those are all the building permits Like I'm pretty sure it's for Electrical Plumbing and you know They're age back Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Look at this thing Look at this

Friggin thing Some immigrants came in bought this house, okay? You see this is a nice neighborhood, like a bunch of two, three room houses. And then they built this particle board monstrosity,

this three-story rectangle and frank-looking abomination. Not primored yet. It's not properly assembled yet. The walls are kind of waving and wiggling. And they built it, I think they have to tear it down

because they built it on top of the other people's property line. Like you have to have a setback when you build stuff. Right. Because, you know, you might occasionally have to work on it or something might stretch over. It's something called the, you know, it's kind of an American,

it's just kind of an American value to not be up your neighbor's ass. Right? That's just something that we've done in America for 250, years. Is it how many years we've been doing this thing called Stay Out of My Ass Go over there, go up your own

ass. Yeah. I've got enough people up my ass. I don't need you. Digging out of your own ass even. But what the fuck is that? But this is what the immigrants are bringing over this atrocious this abomination.

If you've ever wanted to visit Rio, it's actually can come visit you now. Isn't that crazy? I'd be so pissed. And they're not. They're not even pissed. Let me play the news story. What the fuck? It's pretty funny.

Yeah, here we go. Okay. Courtney Leonard lives literally in the shadow of the new edition being built onto her next-door neighbor's house. Yeah. Design-wise, it doesn't look anything like what it's attached to or anything else in the neighborhood. Other neighbors tell us they're okay with this, that three generations of a very nice family will be living here. That family told us they had nothing to add to our story. Bro.

It feels like it's not real. When you see it, I mean, you've seen it. So, yeah, it's shocking. Katie Dash lives several blocks away and says she's alarmed, like many who know about this. And so I think we're all just concerned if it could happen to her. It could happen to any of us. And I'm still confused how it was approved. I think that's our biggest issue in the neighborhood.

It's like how there has to be. It's been weeks and weeks of back and forth. And I love this neighborhood and the people in it have been so helpful. It just feels like there's nowhere else to go with this. point. We turn to Pat Herody for clarification. He's the fair person for this area. Uh,

and he's been out to see this with his own eyes. Clearly does not belong in our suburban neighborhoods. A structure like that eight and a half feet from the property. Microdosing a fucking city block. What universe are these people in? Well, you know, uh, it doesn't even design wise matchup. Get the fuck out. Knock this thing down.

Get these people the fuck out of town. Get them out. here. Bring the paddy wagons in. Get them the fuck out of here. Get two big helicopters and airlift that piece of shit. Air lift this piece of shit. Bulldoze it the fuck out of town! What are you talking about? Oh, it's a real mystery how this got approved. Fucking gone. God! Yeah, whoever approved it needs to be gone. Get them gone too. Bulldozed a whole lot of them. Fuck up their house. Um, let's see.

That's so fucking annoying. Isn't that crazy? Giant three, oh, all right. Fucking, so much for all my natural light in my house. I guess I'm not going to see the sun anymore. Oh, well, at least these nice weirdos can live with their great grandparents and they can drink horse piss every day or whatever they're planning on doing. Can't wait to live next to 30 people.

Hmm. That's amazing. Okay, I got another one too. Vivek's getting trounced. That's good. Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's that funny. They're playing Vivek Ramoswami's Christmas Day post.

All of his. He's running for Ohio governor, and his opponent's just like saying, yeah, look at his Christmas posts. He thinks you're all, like, lazy and retardant. I mean, he said it. Still coming back. He could have apologized.

Ironically, I was looking at it. You know, ironically, the lesson in every episode of Friends is to apologize and like make things right and that that's the correct way to be and that that's how our society like is able to work. it's just noticing what you did wrong and identifying it and saying you will try not to do it in the future and it doesn't even matter if you do it again in the future really that's also adds on an extra season if you don't

exactly next week people want you to do it again wrong but you got to say I did that wrong sorry about that yeah you got to acknowledge it at least you got at least acknowledge it but they don't teach that in spelling bees I guess you just kind of get you fuck up

and then you just you're done you leave so he didn't it's not doing that either. Fuck, we'll go sit down. Let's, you know, let's someone else do it. Uh, it's hilarious. Hilarious. Yeah. Okay. Here's a new type of ice protest. Uh, I have a ton of fat stuff today. Oh. Here's, uh, here's while the boomers are protesting the ice, uh, facility.

Man. Yeah. This is in Portland. I hate this song so much Yeah It has inspired so many people to be like Well I need to do something historic Um Did you know

The woman who came up with the quote A well-behaved women Seldom make history Was not saying That women should act like Abnoxious Hors She was actually saying that historians Should study normal

people to get a better view of history. Doesn't matter. Wrong message. Yeah. She said, you know, she said, you know, obnoxious whores don't make history or something. And women are like, oh, shit, that means we should be obnoxious horrors, right? And make history. But her point was, no, you shouldn't be obnoxious horrors. You should, historians should be more interested in normal everyday

people. Sometimes it can be a book about stats and people will miss that point, too. Yeah. Isn't that fun? I just learned that this week. You know what else I learned? This fucking, this, this pisses me off. I learned that all this, all the hell shit, like, in the, uh, that Christians have, you're going to hell?

That's not in the Bible. None of it. Oh, yeah, that's right. I didn't know that. I thought there was at least some sort of like a addendum or something, but it's not, none of it. The hell, like, little appendix in the back. By the way, this is...

By the way, you're going to hell. Oh, shit. I would have thought it would be in the beginning. you know. And I was like, well, surely Jesus must have talked about it. And they're like, yeah, Jesus talked about hell, but he's talking about a literal place that was like down the street,

that was like a couple miles away, that was like Israel's version of Mexico. Yeah. It was like a bunch of deadbeats and criminals and they would just burn everything all the time and live in trash. That's what... It's like, you're going to India if you don't fucking...

Yeah, it was basically that. I'm like, well, look, guys, if you fuck around, you're going to go to literal, Hell is right over there where it's just a bunch of assholes. They steal all your stuff all the time. I didn't know that.

So what the hell? Why are they always talking about hell then? You gotta have some sort of driving force behind. Well yeah, but it's not in the Bible. Doesn't matter. It does. It's supposed to. Wow.

It's supposed to matter. When is anything that's supposed to matter? It's supposed to be in there a little bit. I thought it would be like, oh, it's got to be all over the place. Well, do this or else, do this or else. do this or else. There was no or else. Let's just do this or we're sending you to India. I think there's like a mention to like the lake of

fire maybe once. And that's like... In the revelations. Yeah. That's it. And all that stuff's retarded. You don't think the four horsemen of the Apocalypse is cool? You don't think that's not. Okay, fine. All right. It's in... Okay. Yes. It's in... It's fine. It's in Revelations.

I thought it would just at least be mentioned. You've got to have one mention of it somewhere else. or else it all, it looks like you just kind of stuck that part on. Well, it kind of all is, right? Because, like, church is like, I'm going to read this passage of the Bible and then just kind of like give you assholes. Yeah, and like, you know what, I had a personal problem this week. Yeah, but none of it is. None of it has any of the hell stuff.

That's fine. They're just totally making it up. It doesn't matter because they're just trying to sell you on like, look, man, you're fucked up. By the way, my wife and I got an argument. And, you know, I was looking at Leviticus today. And it really thought... That's fine. Yeah.

But there's no hell at all. Doesn't matter. Well, it should. It should. I agree. It should. It should. It should.

It would think for such a devout religion that they would be like, look, man, everywhere is like, if you fuck up once, you're going straight to hell. Like, something... Like, okay, you're being gay. Oh, yeah. It does say that. That's bad. And, I mean, you know, kind of... Kind of...

Kind of risky. Yeah. And you go to hell. But that's not in there. None of that shit. is in there. God. I don't know

how I got to be this old and I didn't bothered checking. Well, that's the thing is that no one's going to read

that shit anywhere. None of that shit's in there. That's why they just cherry pick. Satan,

any of it. Like, what? None of this is, none of this shit's in there? The Satan's in there.

Not like, not like as a bad guy. No, for, not like as an angel. That they, that was a,

that was a actual guy. I want the Bible prequel where we get to understand what drove Lucifer to this madness. Yeah, he's not, that's not a thing, that's not in the Bible.

It's talking about a literal guy when it says the fall of the morning star and all that shit. They're talking about a little a little guy that really existed. I can't wait for someone on Reddit to be like, you know what, you guys don't know shit about it. I know, I can't wait for that. Like, oh,

you're telling me all this time, you guys just, you didn't even put it in the book. Like, you didn't add it in at the end, or anything. You're just counting on people not reading it? All right. Well, that's why they kept Catholic services in Latin for so long. I don't know why that pisses me off more than anything else. I thought you guys had like, I thought you guys had some...

It's the man behind the fucking curtain. That's all anything ever fucking is, man. What do you think about this dancing? It's pretty cool. So it's a bunch of boomers and, like derelicks wearing neon stuff and kind of line dancing bring the paddy wagons to this get these guys out of here

these are the guys saying I love that giant three story monolith how much do you want to bet one or all of them runs used bookstores oh yeah that should be their currency used books used books is that what all those fucking little libraries around her about

there's a whole separate economy happening right under our fucking noses that we're not used books? Yeah. They should be drug drops. What do you mean should be? Are they drug drops? Are people using them for drugs? I imagine so. If it is something that you can close and is publicly accessible,

like, oh, I'm just dropping off some books. My wife wanted one, and she looked it up. I'm like, you know, there's probably like a kit that you can get, so she looked it up. He goes, oh, geez. It's $400. No. No, no, wrong.

I went over there, closed it, blocked the site on the router. Uh-uh. You mean there's nothing cheaper in like a fucking U-line catalog? Yeah, it's a little wood box. Fucking box. $400. It shouldn't be fucking $400. Fucking mailbox.

It's like a shoe box. Just put up a second mailbox with some fucking... some books in it. Yeah, here you go. Some crappy books. Call it the mail books and fucking watches people. I'm going to do my own little library that's not compatible with the other ones. It's a firewire.

Yeah. That's funny. It's a cable library and it's all just like, here grab a firewire 400 cable. It's going to say my library, it's going to be, it's going to say do not put these books in the little red library racks. Only put them in

Dickwire Library. stations. Do not put these books back in the little red little library boxes. These books are only compatible with Dick Library boxes. Have it so when you open it up and pull it out, there's like a little thing that says if you've visited another, a tiny library around here, you're gay. Yeah. Like damn it. Fuck.

Not compatible. These books are not compatible with the Little Red or Library boxes. They'll immediately turn Chinese if you put them in a different book. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Every book you read, a donation, some book is donated, some reading is donated to black children.

What is it about reading, man? I don't know. People love that shit. Yeah, what the hell? Such a waste of time. Smart people read. Sitting there fucking, oh, wow, look at these fucking words. What are you looking at paper?

I'm talking to myself. Oh. I'm thinking while I look at paper. How cool am I? Yeah, it's retarded. Oh, wow. Go dig a fucking ditch. Using my imagination for the story.

Dumb. Gay. See, that's active use of your brain and a bad thing. If you go dig a ditch, right? You get that flow state. Start meditating. Oh, yeah. All your problems start melting away.

But reading just gives you more problems. Reading gives you more problems. Reading gives it, because then you want to. understand more. See, Ogre not understand the nuances of fucking

war and peace or Ulysses. Here's Bill Ackman's advice for hitting on women. Oh, Jesus. I hear from

many young men. That's a lot of words, first off. I know. Nothing important about women takes this many words. I hear from

many young men that they find it difficult to meet young women in a public setting. This guy is a billionaire. I don't know.

If anybody knows who he is, piece of shit. Every time he mentioned him, I always forget who he is until I'm reminded. He was like big on like COVID lockdowns. He's always...

Oh, so a huge piece of shit, yeah. Yeah. In other words, the online culture has... Now he hates, you know, Nick Fuentes and everything. Has destroyed the ability to spontaneously meet strangers. As such, I thought I would share a few words

that I used in my youth to meet someone that I found compelling. Who the fuck talks like that? Billionaires. They're fucking weirdos. they gotta be it's the same shit like in living color

like when damon waynes has been reading too many books in jail yeah like the hypotenuse at which we you know just like very like yeah those are words yeah but like uh in my youth that I found compelling

I would ask may I meet you before engaging further in a conversation I almost never got to know what the what in the fuck world did these idiot boomers grow up in You're the musical Oklahoma? Yeah.

That's the like boomer. That's where he came straight out of that fucking play. 90% were 90% of America's white people. Yeah. May I meet you? What the fuck are you talking about? So basically you could have said anything. This dork fucking takes his hat off indoors.

For the car even, yeah. It inevitably enabled the opportunity for, yeah. Oh my God, he does talk like Damon Wayne's for further conversation. I met a lot of really interesting. people this way. I think I think if he typed in like a Jamaican accent, I would read every word. Yeah. I think

the combination of proper grammar and politeness was the key to its effectiveness. You might give it a try. Like that fucking boomer, you might give it a try. Like, I hate that fucking demand. Like, fuck off. That smug shit of like, I'm not hard selling you, but I am, you know, but I am

using this persuasive technique. get you on board. And yes, I think it should also work for women seeking men as well as same-sex interactions. Oh, good for gays too. That's cool. Thanks, Bill. Just two cents from an older, happily married guy concerned about our next generation's happiness

and population replacement rates. Because now boomers are panicking because Mamdami got in there on socialism, basically. because like our millennials and under are basically like we don't really care what you guys think all this shit

we don't care about Israel or being called racist or capitalism like whatever you think it is we're just going to like take stuff and do whatever we want that's going to be and you guys are dying so all of your

little all of these retarded little sandcastles that you made are getting washed away and we're going to be the ones to do it choosh it's just going to be so now they're panicking and trying to reach the uh the youth with uh these sorts of abortions uh let me tell you kids what it was just my two cents yeah yeah yeah okay funny they should pull his a single nail off of one of his tozers fingers every time he tweets some stupid shit like that um Let's see. Oh, a DMV employee caught faking driver's license test. This is kind of funny, too.

A DMV employee was caught taking $3,000 for every illegal alien she passed the commercial driver's license test for it. So all the illegals have CDLs, commercial driver's licenses. You know, they can't drive. Right. I don't know what they're doing. Oh, unfortunately, I know. plenty, yeah. And every time this lady would do it,

let me make sure it's not fake. This lady would do it for them, and then she would do it in like a disguise and stuff. Here she is. Or CDL written exams for seven different people. Investigators say that each time

she'd use disguised black lady, yeah look. She's dressing up a different person taking the exam. She's dressing up. in different outfits and then taking a test for them. For the right price. Workers would have on their computers a photo of the person who was supposed to take the test. And the photo of the person's like an Indian guy and she's a big fat black lady wearing

Unabomber wearing shades and a surgical mask for COVID. Dressing up like fucking Paddington Bear trying to fucking pull one over on the fucking DM. that we have so hopelessly fucked a normal any sort of normal reaction anything that resembles like a normal human beings reaction to a totally outlandish situation we've beaten it and fucked it out of everyone so badly that a black woman is going around dressing up like paddington bear pretending to be unnamed pretending to be Indians where the first name is literally

no name given with no spaces and the person, the idiot sitting there is just saying, well I guess everything's fine here. There's nothing for me to do. These dang difficult to pronounce Indian names? It's so it's so beyond

fucked. I don't know what millennials are supposed to think. Like I'm right on the edge of Gen X and millennials. So I get it but I happen to be very violent, you know. So I understand I understand where they're coming from. But what is the what's the correct response to that?

Well, a big fat black woman is dressing up like she wears like a chef outfit and a Paddington Bear outfit and she goes and takes illegal. Jail forever. Dressing up as different mascots every time. Can't send them to jail because they're shutting all the jail.

They're cleverly shutting all the jails down. So there's nowhere to throw prisoners anymore. I guess. Straight to alligator Alcatraz, I guess. Yeah. I don't know. Let's see here.

That's fucking crazy. Isn't that crazy? I know what it'll get them. Oh my God. And then somebody said, go on Facebook Marketplace to search for Snap sales. And it is like,

it's like a bizarre of EBT. Where people are buying and selling the remainder of their EBTs. Just crazy. Okay, here's Here's Michelle Obama talking about her hair Talking about black women's hair

Yeah Here we go Do do do do Let me explain something to white people Our hair comes out of our head naturally In a curly pattern So when we're straightening it to follow your beauty standards We are trapped

by the straightness. That's why so many of us can't swim and we run away from the water. People won't go to the gym because we're trying to keep our hair straight for y'all. It is exhausting and it's so expensive and it takes up so much time.

Braids are for y'all so we can work harder and focus on the work. So why do we need an act? a game and act of law to tell white folks to get out of our hair It's about the hair law Don't tell me how to wear my hair

Don't wonder about it It's never gonna move on from the hair Is it? There'll never be a time When we don't have to worry about It's crazy because I remember hearing about You know just as a kid Like okay Things that may or may not be racially incenses

With people in school and you're like oh okay That's interesting That makes sense fact that like it's such a still prevalent thing and so many people would be like we'll see that's how ineffective it's always been and it's like no i just don't think anyone knows how to fucking move on i mean yeah i think everyone gets it by now like we get it like don't there's there's some black woman with like um braids that would if you untangle them would go from like her head to the moon and back sitting there at home watching like you know like the sultan and aladdin

nodding, going like, uh-huh, that's rat, I'm with like nails that are nine inches long, right? Like, that's the problem, right? Like, nobody cares about normal looking braids. It's just that you've got this one fat moron with Wolverine claws for nails. That's rat, right, child. Like typing with her knuckles, you know,

sitting there. And we got to, pretend that that's not happening. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, great. You know, it's really, yeah, it's totally about beauty standards and stuff. Not about, not about the fucking blobberine sitting at DMV with 60-foot, um, multicolored dreads on looking like a fucking pinata.

Um, typing with the sides of, we're typing with a, uh, wand. Typing with an ass wiping wand. Totally. It's totally. It's totally. It's totally what you're saying. It's totally, totally not that. uh here's uh here's a here's a

here's a fight from india this is interesting i don't know if it's true India air india is that 30% of passengers on its India US flights ask for wheelchairs so they can get on before everyone else I don't know if that's true just uh that's very Indian look at this look at all these guys look at all these fucking guys lined up around the block and the wheelchair. Yeah, yeah.

Wheelchair, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, all you got to do is fill out the form and then you just get to, you know, some hassle

gets to push you around on a chair for free. All you do is... Where are the suckers? Yeah. For not saying get the fuck out of this wheelchair. Did you see the,

um, the new Metroid game? Do you see that a little weirdo that they put in there? No. Do you play Metroid at all? Are you excited about that game? You know, I know I am supposed to be.

Yeah. And it really is a cool game. I just, man, I never... Yeah. I've really got that far into it. It's funny. I don't know. I always thought Metroid was like,

you just running around as this red thing. That's what I was. A robot thing. But now they got like this weirdo guy in here. You are sneaky quiet. You know that? Now they got like, Now they got quirk chunga shit

In everything No hope of survival But you're also not sitting next to fill Anyone in that cubicle So When? It's the fucking Like

Workplaceification of everything Yeah Well you know I know we're like You're supposed to be like this sci-fi cool Like whatever the fuck you are as Dude it's the it's the end of Ghostbusters It's like the horseshoe And like Ghostbusters was

Let's take something Totally crazy and make it like a Blue Collar job Right And now it's become Everything is So intolerably like workplace Poisoned

Yeah Every interaction is some sort of like HR You forgot to check your emails Oh you click on the email Fishing link and yeah That really set us back a fucking week And productivity

Yeah So Like mentioning a cubicle on this like fantastical Fucking space shit like what the fuck is that all about? Uh So they found They found that this little this shitbag character This little wiener guy

Was modeled after there Somebody that works at their office Damn right Which I thought was funny because it's Do you remember that episode of Powerpuff girls When some weirdo wrote himself into the show Yeah.

As like the love interest for one of the Powerpuff girls. Let me see if I can find it. Powerpuff girls self-inserts. Yeah, here he is. This guy. He looks kind of the same too, huh? He like wrote himself in as the love interest for one of the Powerpuff girls. Yeah, here he is.

So this was the guy. Right? Totally weird to have this happening in a Powerpuff girl's show. This is pedophile shit right here. And then here was the guy, writer, Jake Goldman. Oh, Haley Mancini wrote this? Oh. Whoa.

Oh. That's the girl that Maddox did the Godzilla show with. That's right. Oh, wow. that's funny okay so Haley Mancini and her weird petto friend

wrote him and that oh oh shit it fucking happened I've been waiting why does this happen to me okay um so that it's like the fucking

dicky fucking I know This thing is stuck. Oh, the guy on Reddit's gonna really hate this. There we go, there we go. Okay. I don't even know what these are for. These little discs that screw in

in front of the thing that you need to screw in? Like, what is the purpose of these? It's so that there's like a stop to it and then... But the stop fucks it up. The stop fucks it up. Why do you want it stopped? Because people are fucking retards and don't just know how to like screw shit in and position it.

I obviously don't. Oh, I can't do that Oh, there we go, there we go It's got some give to it Oh, oh Progress Man Reda guy

I'm gonna go get Drive right into the media I'm so pissed at my neighbors I'm gonna go get the I'm gonna go get all minions Christmas minions Inflatables Put them on the roof

I'll show you I'll show you Christmas too early Yeah, what the I still can't even like Why do people why can't people shut the fuck up? I'm gonna get five Christmas minions

inflatable minions have them all fucking so much I'm gonna get Shrek yeah I'm gonna get Shrek Christmas Shrek put them in the front you gotta take a picture

of that neighbor and have a like a local like inflatable company make like a fucking one of them standing up like pointing with a fucking arm that points up down. Oh, damn this thing.

Okay, wait. So this weirdo did his Powerpuff Girls self-insert, and then they did it again. Somebody found that that little fucking guy, this guy, who's the little office guy, Quirk Chungus in the game, is actually this fucking... It looks exactly the same guy. You can't escape it.

Even in your escapism. Even in your escapism. Video games, Dungeons and Dragons, you've got to be constantly hammered over the head. by some quirk chungis, some, some lesbian, some lesbian, some lesbian art director who's BFs with some dickless HR chimp. I know all of you so funny.

Let's put you, let's put you in the game. That'll show these chuds. That'll show them. Let's talk about cubicles in space. Let's talk about cubicles in space, right? That's what Star Trek was. about and it wasn't as bad as that. The whole Star Trek's about an office space. Yeah. They're doing office work, you know, having meetings, conference calls. Why is every fucking show just

goddamn office work, man? Why is everything in the Corkchungas? Oh, it beats the office job at the office work, like, dude. Can you believe the line I stood in at Starbucks today? But then if you go, like I know I had a huge diarrhea totally messed up the bat then you're the bad then you gotta go talk to HR look man you say peacock and nobody bats and I and you say poop cock and everybody

loses their mind it's just I really hate I really hate this if I was a kid and this was the video game that I got served up and I had to take a big bite of the shit sandwich that they give me I would really fucking hate it

some stupid fat fat bitch fried me up a nice pile of shit to eat with my space adventure game like man they should be sending corchunguses straight to the Philippines to be caned yeah how do we can we end the cork chungus that's it you fucking call them heckin paparinos to the philippines for six months for you bitch fucking space is a heck there's a heckin paparino on the spaceship oh this alien or reminds me of my dog go god i'm heckin paparino i heard that shit in the wild recently at the

store and i was like i wanted to be like who the fuck let corchungus in here but you shut up you dumb you've corchungus bitch fucking stupid fat bitch shut the fuck up shut up you stupid fat bitch you can you get it out can they get this guy out of the game i don't play the game but i don't well now i'm not going to now i'm not even going to be look at it. I don't, I don't want kids to be consuming this disgusting quirk chungus office humor. I don't want, I don't want children exposed to office humor, okay? I want to live in a world where kids grow up and they don't ever have to go to an office and experience a bunch of dumb, fat women walking around acting like five-year-olds. That's my dream. Between Dilbert and the

show called The Office, I think we've fucking had enough. We're done. We're fucking done. This office shit. I'm sick of it. Quit repackaging Dilbert. Yeah, Dilbert's dead. Scott Adams is fucking dead.

Good. Yeah, we've been blowing space aliens away all day, but can you believe the coffee machine doesn't work? Can you believe the cubicle? The space vending machine? Is that a fucking space Fritos again? Fuck off. It's space pretzel day.

It fucking Space Corp. People who can't write movies They took it over You know So they took our games over And they made them lame The chunguses fucking took over The chunguses and the homosexuals

Took over The bad ones The straight homosexuals The quirk chunguses and the straight Homosexuals took over video games And fucked them up And now they're fucking dragging them around town Showing it off

Showing the corpse Of video games off Hey, look at this. We stuck a fucking quirk chungis and a straight homosexual in your game. What do you think about that? I hate it. But I got too much to do. I fucking hate it. That's how I feel about it. Don't show that to kids. Make that illegal. Playing Red Dead 3 and your wife calls him a horso or something. Yeah. It's just a little shooter in the face. Yeah, it was bad enough in Red Dead 2 and they're like, oh, it's the what mission is it? Is this? Women voting. Yeah, fucking steal a call. Steal a horse.

carriage and drive all these cunts to the fucking governor's office so they can sing a song about voters' rights. Fuck off. How about I hog tie you, you can't tanker's old bitch? You fucking hog. Rape you in front of the fucking governor's mansion.

I'm sitting there. Yeah, play it fallout style. God damn it. God damn it. I hate this shit. You think Quirk Chung is saying existed in like medieval time? There were, yeah, there probably was some dumb quirk chungus bitch. That voeustec manuscript is probably full of quirkchungus. Some fucking fat idiot sitting there. I'm gonna write a whole book that doesn't

even make sense. Ha ha ha. It's a language that I invented. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, man. Trump's got to do something about this. Metroid. I don't even like Metroid, but I, I need this gone. I like the concept of us, like, sitting next to, like, a chicken coop in, like, under, like, a castle wall. Mm-hmm. Medieval times, and we're, like, Can you believe these fucking dumb bitches? And it's like, as people and like horses and cars and dead bodies. 100% there was quirk chungas in medieval time. That is fucking...

100%. They were witches. Ever since the caveman, the first woman who could talk immediately... Immediately quirk chunggess. Just like, oh no. Because she's like, you know, you know the first one. They're like eating the, they're eating the meat, right? And then some fucking fat bitch that no one clubbed on the head and dragged back to their cave.

It was like, look at me. I'm still eating the ribs. And there's no meat on it. Like, uh, fucking courchungus, man. She's like, looking at me,

I'm a dog. I'm eating the ribs. Ugh. Fucking quirk chungas, bitch. You just throw her. Who's going to fuck this quirk chungus? And they,

and they had the, they could have made the right move and not fucked her and impregnated her, but someone did. And now we still got, now we got fucking, straight homosexuals

and Metroid Prime or whatever the Metroid game The retarded wheat caveman wearing the F-Wars shirt Has to go fuck, Junk is. What? The F-word shirt?

The F-Wars. Remember that it's a Star Wars It just said F-Wars? F-Wars? On that... Like fuck? Oh, yeah. F-sler Wars.

Yeah. That caveman back then and just going like, Hey, I... Isn't that funny? She's pretending to be a dog. It's not funny. It's not funny.

And fucking for laughing for entertaining it. Man. It's not funny at all. Fucking... It sucks. Fat cavewoman making stinky pussy jokes. She was like, man, get the fuck out of here. Who invited this bitch?

Quirk chungis, bitch. Go hang out with the Canaanites. Fuck you. Go fucking get eaten by a fucking saber-toothed tiger, you maniac. Yeah, go show off your material. real. Okay. Horso.

Yeah, if there's any, like... I don't even want to play... I don't even want to learn about video games anymore. I don't know. I don't want to know what sorts of Quirk Chungas shit is in GTA 6. It's getting crammed and packed full of Quark Chungus as we speak. That's why it's taking so long. Because they're on the edge.

Yeah. They're on the... They're on the... goddamn edge. Because they can't predict the future, right? So if they want it to be as relevant as possible before it comes out, all the shit that was popular last year, now they got to update all the fucking references.

Trump's got to come out and say something about it. I hate the quirk chungis. He's got to say, he could save himself from all the H-1B shit that he said, oh, man. You're going to India or the Philippines. If I hear a fucking single quirk anything out of your fucking yap. I'm gonna deport every quirk chung-as to Africa Then we'll see how funny they think they are now

When they're getting their heads chopped off by cannibals That would be funny If he said that Trump should say it Trump should apologize too Sorry I said that thing about the H-1B I didn't really It was taken out of context Because I meant those Koreans specifically

But it was dumb It was dumb to say Man fuck Israel That's all he has to do What's gonna do man you think the Israel people don't understand they're like yeah you're just lying

who cares send all the send all the I thought we had a deal yeah I thought we had a deal of lying and accepting lying

you know one way street there I thought yeah I thought that was the deal is we consume the lies and the politicians say the lies

you say fuck Israel say yeah okay he says fuck Israel awesome but now we're in some kind of weird new zone where everyone's selling the truth all the time.

It was cool when it was about men going into women's bathrooms and stuff, but now it's not cool when it's about giving money to Israel and not doing anything about H-1Bs. I saw for the first time the country's negative on foreign immigration. It's going down. It should stay that way. Yeah, that'd be cool. Go down to zero.

Yeah. I want to see less than absolute zero on this one. Get all these fucking... Here's a... Take this quirk chungis with you. Get the fuck out of here. Here's one for the road, yeah. Here goes, Speedy Gonzalez.

Baha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Take this toilet with you, Paget. Ba! I just... Hit him with a little toilet. Baa! You just want... Just fucking...

Chungis is throughout history, man. Wild West. Medieval chungus. medieval chungis. Look at me, I'm a witch too. You're not. Look at me, I'm floating. Like, bitch.

Look at me, I'm casting a horny spell on myself. Someone drowned this, bitch. Is it just a white women thing? Did they have quirk chungis another? I don't. I think so. I think it's a white thing. I imagine it's probably an Asian thing, too.

I imagine so. Oh, yeah. You know. Hmm. They got the big fat dumpling ones. Because all the Kauai shit's cute when you're like 90 pounds, you know? Right. But that shit ain't going to be cute when you're fucking 140.

Yeah, then it looks like you're playing with micro machines, yeah. Yeah. When you're like looking like a sumo wrestler, that shit isn't cute. When your ass is mega machines. Okay, here's a... I think if I'm understanding this right, China tried to replicate a Range Rover ad. Where the Range Rover went up these big stairs. Pretty cool.

Look at that. Didn't just type it in? Whoops, didn't work out for China. Oh, shit. Whoops. Whoops. It'll bring dishonor to us all. Oh, do you want to see inside of a low-income house?

This is pretty cool. I've seen plenty of those after fucking scrolling through my explore feed lately. Jesus. Okay, here's ones they're building. They're building low-income housing. Hey, what's up? So I'm trying to make this as quick as possible. You shouldn't have said that.

So I've seen some post that they catch my eye about affordable housing going up in L.A. And how we need it. As Angelinos are really thirsting forward and this, this, and that. All right. Oh, no. Let's, oh, wait. Okay. There's one of the projects I'm documenting here in South L.A.

And it's an affordable housing built. And just in brief, this is what it looks like on the street. Looks cool. Looks fine. Looks like an apartment. Okay, so parking is kind of a bean around here. Already. Kind of what?

And what this built is? They took a house that looks like this. And they built 60-some units right here. Holy shit. Wow. With no parking. You want to see the inside? Yeah, I want to see the inside, low-income housing.

Okay. All right, so we've got a correction on the amount of units being built. It's actually 78, not 60. But this is your idea what affordable housing looks being built here in L.A. So we're on second floor already and we got some of the elevator. Let's break our way down the hall and go check out unit 206. All right. Because I believe a towel's already going in.

Here's our kitchen. Check out that fine work. Ball in. And we turn my headlight on so you can check out, see how this bathroom looks. And then here's our bathroom. Oh, that's not so bad. Yeah. Got our one bedroom.

Oh, it's a little tight. It's a toilet in the bedroom. And that's about it, folks. That's affordable housing for you right here in L.A. We just got to pack them on in, right? Jeez, man. On an old house, that's too bad. All right.

I don't know if I got anything else funny. Target. Something about Target? I just read comments. Yeah, I got something for the end of the show. What do you have? I mean, just the usual. Well, the usual, unusual.

Gwimbley says that car rug repulses me Send quirk chunguses to the sun Yep, agree Gentlemen sausage, I don't see a Blahaw in that bedroom pick So I don't think she's trans They usually have a Blahaj At least according to Twitter It's a stuffed shark from IKEA

Hence the stupid name They have a what the hell is a Blahaj Uh Blahaj this is what Oh Oh this is what trans people have now A Blahaj?

Is that Huh How the IKEA shark became a trans icon Uh Blahaj makes my worries go away When I cuddle him Said Victor An owner of one of the internet's

Most Famous stuffed toys Uh The Friendly Face toy has soared in popularity as thousands of people share their adventures with their Blahaj. But for many owners, it's more than a cute face. The toy has become a trans icon.

Fyaj shared a video featuring the shark on TikTok. It's a weird sense of trans solidarity. The fact that it's become a huge internet sensation for trans people gives us something to connect with others about. Of all the things to connect with, It's a...

Consumerism? It's a stuffed retarded shark? Um, okay. Things that help us connect with other trans people online are so important.

Ha ha. Yeah, because otherwise it wears off. Because a lot of other trans folks, the only way to be able to connect with people like us is through the internet. I've bought Bahadj for a joke, but the joke has a deeper meaning.

So they're all just buying this fucking shark. All right. Cool. I hate that to the... Well, I bought it as joke, but actually it's kind of like... Actually, it's a lot deeper than that. Actually, I love it. Q-Trez says this is Quarkchungus.

Oh, and he has a picture. Everyone hates Quirkchungus. Fucking sick of corchungusing. Fucking sick of it, man. Oh, okay. Oh. It says my, it's a bumper, a window sticker for a car, and it says, my T-Rex ate your stick family. Yeah.

That's, it's pretty bad. That's a. Pretty bad. It's a good example, but the mental damage I just took looking at that. Aaron says fucking Mexicans. Okay, let's see. Hopefully it's not literally. sounds pretty compelling so far

what do you got this is a oh it's Mexican NASCAR okay is this a this is a racing account all right NASCAR Mexico

had a caution within a caution all right so that means like a wreck let's see and oh there's a there's a stock car that has crashed into the side of the track and the

Mexican safety car then crashes into the wreck Are that said a Pace car? El Pace car? Is that what that is? No, that looks more like an official It's got a siren No, say I have to my mom Every race is a destruction derby in a demolition derby in Mexico Is that?

I think I finally have a sport just getting to. He really hits that thing, man. Wow. Is that like an ambulance or something? Kind of looks like it. Ah. Um, okay.

Jad Dragon says, talk about the giant Mary statue in Brazil. I don't know about that. Mary statue, Brazil. World's largest statue of Our Lady of Fatima What? Who the hell is Is that what they call the Virgin Mary in Brazil? Lady Fatima? Working on this piece was, working on this piece was for me a form of prayer.

Okay, yeah. It's just a giant lady? How big is it? 175... A 15-story building of a giant lady? that sounds dumb made of polyurethane see yeah

I don't know big statues now it's not it seems like cheating because it's all just polyurethane and like it's garbage yeah it's just plastic it's like funco pop shit it's gonna last about as long as like a car

on like a Disneyland ride yeah it's gonna somebody's gonna like ding it and then it'll have it'll have Bondo on it Yeah. He just looks like shit. It's not... If the statue's not made out of stone, then what are you doing here?

This is bullshit. Yeah. It's bullshit. Our lady of Fatima asks for conversation and asks us to pray for world peace. Um... I don't know that... I don't know. Is that the Virgin Mary?

I guess so. That's what they call her over there. That's dumb. Mexicans really love their... Virgin Mary stuff. They like a nice baby Jesus and a... They like their... Mary's Virgin and they like their Jesus baby.

That's what they like. Too easy to understand concepts. Make it nice and simple. They like the prequel stuff. Well, it looks stupid. Epstein and Trump. Oh yeah, I saw Epstein. I saw Epstein had an email about he was going to genetically engineer black people.

It's true. Sorry. He's getting all his emails leaked and he had a whole email about how he was going to genetically engineer super black people. people. In what direction? He was going to improve them. According to him. He was going to make them blacker, bigger, blacker, blacker than ever.

Wow. Let me see if I can find it. It's like, you know, just normal racist stuff. It's like boomer racism. Like they're just, they're obsessed with the concept of black. of black guys being athletes. They're fucking, they're just obsessed with it.

I don't know why. They're obsessed with the hard-ar, soft-ar shit. They're obsessed with black people being good at sports. They got to go, man. Boomers, you're talking about. Yes.

Yeah, let me try to find it. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like they're like a weird, like a missing link between just like slavery and not having slavery. Yeah. We got the best black people on our sports team. All right.

I mean, we could see that. I know why you guys are so, I know why you're so fucking obsessed with it. Why are you guys all drinking mint juleps? What the fuck? I don't even think it's true. I think like, it's got a mix.

I don't know. Not everybody wants to do that. That's why you guys have this. Like that's why you guys have these weird plantations that you're making everyone kind of pay for. Right. Like why does this exist in, why does this exist in private schools? Why are you guys farming out little teams of minorities in private schools? Who's letting you get away with that?

Why are you doing it in colleges? Where are you like, why do you, why does college football exist? You guys have this weird compulsion to have little, because you could just have. sports outside that's fine why do you have to cram it into

everything it's weird it's the the pipeline you know yeah it's that like okay

well we have a minority and I need money how do we exploit this it's just like okay

well we went from this way to like oh media is shifted okay now we can just do it this way and people

will enjoy it all the same it's like it's like they couldn't just do it on their own. You guys can just have like a kids doing football. You don't need to have it at college but they do for some reason

and I don't know why I don't know why they have people that have obviously no business being at these colleges who are not even taking classes. It's weird oh shit man. It's weirdo shit. It's like you know what I'm going to go watch a bunch of dudes in college fucking tackle each other. And it's like,

what's... Okay, but do that without involving colleges. Just get a bunch of young guys that are, you know, like a farm team. Why don't you guys go to... Why aren't you guys interested

in like single A ball then? You're only interested in college is doing it. Why? Why are you making everyone go along with this? It's fucking... It's weird.

Sick and... It's weird. Sports is a whole thing that, like... College especially. Yeah. I can't find I can't find the Epstein thing Oh yeah here it is

This is Epstein You know pedophile Also You might be able to make black smarter By changing the time for motor layer Development and changing the time for other layers Like telomeres for the cell Are there equivalence for the layers

As you talked about culling the unused neurons In each layer What the fuck are you talking about man Each neuron? on a layer. Yeah, I don't know. He was planning on engineering Epstein black people

on his island. He's going to grow a whole new crops. He's like reversed Yaqub. He's going to be the evil Yakub. A more evil Yaqub. He's like, oh yeah, you're going to invent white people. We'll check this out.

Wait, he was going to be Yacoub. Yeah. was inventing white people out of black people. Holy shit, yeah. Holy shit, Epstein was Yacob. He was the reincarnation of Yacoub. Epstein was fucking Yacob, man. Holy, we figured it out, dude.

He was real. All right, well. He was continuing Yacob's research on his island. Everyone, the day he was supposedly killed himself, everyone, fine, all the days that were born that day, and then let's keep an eye on him, you know. Bro. He was continuing Yacoub's research.

Yep. We got to see who's going to carry the torch next, man. Clearly it's something that continued.

He was going to make shoes. Oh shit. Yeah, that's why I had to be stopped. Wow. That's why

yeah. That's why he was stopped. Man. A bridge too far, man. We're never going to get to see those Epstein

miles are away. No, dude. Motherfucker. It's just to think that we ever had that possibility. That was, that was dumb of us, right? That was dumb of us.

I can't believe it. Can't they just release some fake ones? Just something. A funny ones. Trump right with a crayon. Just send Trump to Olive Garden. Give him a pack of crayons and have him juice up some... They got to release the emails, like those tear away, like one-a-day calendars?

Like an admet calendar. Yeah. It's like a 365 on your office fucking cubicle desk. And you get to sit there and every day go, oh, man, new black people, huh? He should fucking release all of them. One word a day. Boop. Yeah.

Boop. Boop. By the end of the year, you're like, holy shit. But only if he wins the midterms. And boop, boop, boop, you know. And then I was in the... It's going to be really hard when you're on that day where it's just the hard R. And everyone's walking past your desk.

Like, huh, really? Spicy. What email are you on? What Epstein got to say today? Oh Because it's all Guys I guess it didn't really occur to me

Until after Trump got in He was like oh I'm not releasing that I was like oh Because there's some pedophiles Yeah But then it's all guys Just cheating on their wives And that's all of them

Like it's literally It's like And I don't see people really Putting that together on their own out there It's like no it's because they're all cheating on their wives. That's what the cabal is formed for. Like, do you understand that if it comes out that

every single congressman and senator is cheating on their wives? Do you understand how different elections are going to look for like 50 years? And that all of Israel is also doing it? Like, do you know what that's going to do? Do you know what that's going to do to the government if that comes out.

That might be the change we need. It is. It really is. I'm so sick of this shit, man. I'm fucking sick. Oh, half of you are gay. Surprise this century. Surprise, surprise.

Next. Because that's why it's not coming out, right? That in Israel. I assume they're just doing tons of bad stuff. You probably couldn't assume correctly enough. Yeah. Well, how deep that goes, yeah. Yeah.

Have you seen that guy? Randy Fine. Do you know about him? I don't know, because all the Tucker Carlson and Nick Fuentes shit, like a bunch of new players have come up. Yeah. Have made themselves, like, have entered the the game. And he's, like, fatter than

just fatter than God. This enormously fat guy. He said that he he said this. He said, the first time I met Netanyahu, he's a congressman from the U.S., by the way. He said the first time I met Netanyahu, I didn't wash my hand.

After shaking his hand, I didn't wash my hands until I could touch my children. With the hand that Netanyahu touched. Here, let me pull up a picture of them. I don't like any of those words in that order. That is a fucking weirdo. What the fuck? What did I say his name was? Randy Fine. Yeah, Randy Fine.

Let me look for the fat picture. Okay So you know that he's fucking big as a house Alright No results Uh Come on, come on Come on, come on

Don't give me this fucking groc chunga shit No, that's not really This is really good Jesus, though Built like fucking Mr. Dink over here Okay This is this

I don't know how I This is This is pedophile fat He says, Douglas, that's very expensive It's different It's a little bit different Hold up a picture of Mr. Dink

Okay You remember? No, who's Mr. Dink? From Doug? Oh, yeah The purple fuck Yeah Douglas, that guy

Yeah, he's built like that ass He's built like Mr. Dink No, even Mr. Dink is skinnier Well, this is the 90s Oh true, yeah, so he's comically fed back then You're right Yeah, this is like This is grotesque

In the 90s Even now And now That's all grotesque too Can you believe this shit? Obviously this asshole She has covered a lot of ground today What the hell? Where did my picture go?

What a journey we have been on Jeez Disgusting right I forget why I was talking about him Well because he After he shook Netanyahu's hand He wanted to make sure he imbued his children with this So before he ate them

Yeah or did whatever he did for them. Okay. That's sick. Trump and H-1Bs. Oh, man. Well, I mean, Trump never said he would get rid of H-1Bs.

We kind of threw that in at the last minute. Like, hey, let's get rid of those too. I don't know. It'll be the future of both parties are going to hinge on on those well I don't know

I think these things and I talk to Vito and I'll say oh you guys are just like totally out to lunch like you have no fucking concept of any of the

the future of the Republican party at least is gonna is gonna have to bend towards fuck Israel and absolutely zero immigration yeah

there's no there is absolutely no avoiding it millennials and zoomers will not tolerate will not tolerate treating Israel as anything other

than a adversary the same way we treat China. And they will not tolerate one single immigrant. And they shouldn't. For any reason. We have plenty of

people. We have plenty of people in the like one in the two sigma IQ range that can be taught anything. You could take somebody with a 130 IQ and teach them how to build anything in a couple weeks, months, no big deal. Whatever we got.

Fucking quantum computer building machine. fucking semiconductor processing plant show them a, give him a TED talk, set them loose. There'll be some bumps, but it'll be fine. Bring back fucking old mobile factories over here, man. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I think that the, I think it works on boomers,

the H-1B stuff. Number one, because they get all their information from television. So whatever they're told, and it makes them feel superior. Like, they're like, well, I'm stupid, so there's no way, I don't know how to build a semiconductor. and I know how to do everything. So we might, right? You know they're thinking that at home.

I fucking, well, that's an absolutely foreign concept to me. Therefore. It's foreign. Yeah. Therefore, foreigners must know it. Yeah. Man. Rest in peace, signetics, man. That and millennials and zoomers

just grew up constantly troubleshooting shit and they all know somebody personally who's like a tech genius. Not even a genius, just like a guy who likes technology enough to teach himself. Like there's kids in every fifth grade class that are like building video games on Unreal Engine. So it's like the concept of learning something extremely technical and difficult is common for them. They all know somebody who's doing a ton of crypto stuff. They all know they all know somebody who's doing technical stuff they don't understand.

So it's not a huge leap to say like, yeah, we don't need, no, we don't, this is a scam. All this shit's a scam. Then you see the, you see the listings for H1. Plus, they all know people who've been five. They all, they're dads. A lot of them, they either know someone's dad or their dad has been getting, got laid off and replaced by an Indian. They know the scam. There's no putting the scam away.

But Trump didn't, Trump, he's a boomer. He's a fucking boomer idiot. There's no, there's no talking him out of it. If you've met any, if you talk to any boomer about H-1B is, there's no talking fucking anything out of, any of it out of them. They're cooked. They're fucking cooked. But that's the way it'll go. I don't know who's going to run with it.

Oh, yeah, okay, a bunch of other political stuff. Black Garfield Man is one of the main characters and all about the Benjamins. Mike A says great episode, except a podcast. pumpkin fucker at the end. I see talking about weight watchers. No, that was last week. Oh, that was disgusting.

That was fucking... The guy that you brought in that was using a pumpkin to cover his penis. It was putting his penis in a pumpkin. That was disgusting. That one was fucking disgusting.

Henry says, about the mortgages. Sweden had to limit mortgage terms to 150 years. Or 105 years. What the fuck? and he linked to something Let's see, Henry

Boop Boop Boop Boo Why Sweden is limiting mortgages To 105 years Um Because it's totally retarded To have a hundred and five year Mortgage

After finding it could take people 140 years To clear the debt Uh What did people start living So fucking long Did I not get the firmware update? What the fuck?

It comes after calls last week to extend mortgages in Ireland for periods of up to 50 years causing consternation. Really, you guys get concerned in your news. But some countries favor ultra-long plans, including Sweden. There was a study carried out around a decade ago that showed that the rate Swedes were paying off their mortgages. It would take them on average 140 years to clear the debt. The financial regulator was keen to tackle this, but had pushed back in the courts. There wasn't really any political will to do anything about this. In reality, a standard mortgage in Sweden is usually 50 years.

Jesus. You guys are getting... So there was a rape problem before you let all the Muslims in. The state picks up the tab. Paul says a change of... They got a Social Democrat. New mortgage rules. Homeowners have to pay 2% of the mortgage annually.

If they borrowed more than 70% of the property or 1% if they borrowed 50 to 70. Huh. It's a weird rule. Yeah. Cool. How's that working? I hate that, yeah. Also, oh, no, this is somebody else.

Oh, okay. This is from Gwen. She sent a bunch of links that you would like. Awesome. Get this man a supple, Newbie and Queen. Sorry for my lack of English on the last post. I have no excuse.

I'm retarded. Thanks for not partaking in Canadian health care. I think I know the clip she sent in even. Let's see. Yes. You know this one? I know this whole account. I've been watching it for a while now.

It's great. You're going to love it too. Gwen sent this in. Okay. Hi, I'm Doug. Says, hi, I'm Doug from Wichita, Kansas. I'm open to real love and long-term commitment with a strong African woman. Ramiree matchmaking is my next step

What the hell's Ramire? Is that a black matchmaking service? I think so. Ramirez without the Z You know They all do that Yeah Black people just love putting their name on

Whatever you can Like if a black guy invented Twitter It would be called like Alphonse Like Alphonse messaging or something like Yeah Jefferson Communications Oh wow Okay

Yeah so what this matchmaking company does is they put pictures of you and then Shit fucking music behind it too Is it all Are they all looking for black women? Yeah I meant well I think No Yeah they are

Yes it is It's all Wait seriously Yeah Oh bro, these services It's a whole dating service that's just looking to There's a whole underworld of dating services like this

I've found a million Indian ones Where it's like this similar sort of like Indian matchmaking Kind of like but it's bled over into With Indian men looking for Yes Looking for what kind of women Any You have holes in a pulse then

Welcome to India How many holes Hi, I'm Rod. Monitor lizard has. They're all wearing sunglasses in their cars. All these guys. Cheating otherwise, man. I'm Rod, 62 from Houston, Texas. I'm serious about

finding an African woman who's ready to love, build, and grow with me. What's Gwen? What the hell is this? Dude, what is up with guys taking pictures with their sunglasses in their car. Divorced dad shit, dude.

Hi, I'm Carl, 65 from Houston, Texas. I believe in honesty, stability, and kindness. Ramiree matchmaking is helping me find an African woman who... There's no way. Is this real? I hope. There's almost 2,000 posts on it. It better be real, or else it's one of the best shit posts accounts I've fucking seen. Yeah.

Don't give up on your dream. It's like a bunch of stock photos Yeah That have these weird African Woman Unless someone's found a good way To make a good use of AI Finally

Yeah Like hey find all these stock photos And just fucking add this caption To every one of them And hit upload Looks like guys would be at Like an executive golf course Like a nine hole golf course

Well that's something they talked about On the range all day Yeah You know if you go to Ramirez Matchmaking You too can get a African woman to build your life with and watch your love grow.

Also, here's a German hobby called dogging. These people do dog shows with no dogs. Did you know about this one? I did know about this one. It's like hobby horsing, but yeah, it's like they had these in like fourth or fifth grade. It's like a little wire coat hanger with like a dog harness on the end. I've seen those. I thought those were just like a joke.

That's, well, elevated. So it's women taking pretend leashes and leashes and collars. on a wire pretending it's a dog and leading it through a pretend, leaning through a real dog course. Yes. Wow. Hobby dogging heel brawn. Uh, what the hell? What are they getting graded on?

How many voices are in their head? She's taking an invisible dog up one of those. ramps. It's like the curse from like women who've been watching TV too long. Yeah. They're like, wait a second, I could like, I could do the dog show thing. I could totally do that. Like.

Yeah. But I don't want to, I don't want to have a dog. Yeah, I don't want to do the hardest fucking part in dealing with a barely fucking wild animal. Do they have, so they have like fake baby classes for women? Like where they show up with like a doll They take them to the dentist And do all search of shit like that But like other insane women

Of course I guarantee it Where it's like four women Dude With in a In a kumon with dolls With cabbage patch kids I could find you that in my explore feed

In five minutes probably Okay Thank you Gwen Thank you Gwen Sickening These people are Nick Rickatus Is Women Alert

Women Alert Women alert. What do you got here? What do you got here? A Louisiana teacher sentenced to 41 years in prison for serving her students' cupcakes laced with her husband's sperm. Now, Nick, why would you say... What do you have?

Google alerts set up for... Spermating? Come on. lady oh that's the guy I could have done without seeing a picture of the guy to kids wait really what did that say for sentence for 41 years in prison for serving her students no um no that's a death penalty yeah that's immediate death penalty

no second trial that's that's a that's a that's to The first trial, the judge has to say, look, you guys got to be real sure on this one. Because there's not going to be any kind of retries. I'm going to shoot this bitch in the head. The bailiff's going to put the gun to her head, like the astronaut meme. And as soon as you come in with the verdict,

you don't even do any of that. Don't even do any of that, like, we, the jury shit. No cute shit. You just go, come out, you just come out and go, like that and he's going to blast her in the back of the head like JFK we're going to line him up woman husband

boom right through the back of the neck right through the back of the neck like Charlie Kirk fuck him boom we're going to have a fake sniper up there and we're going to have a one of somebody shoot him right in the back of the head so make real sure because otherwise we can't have this

we can't have this kicking around we can't have this couple squirting around town in appeals or whatever done it's got to be done today get them out of here was sentenced to 41 years in prison after pleading guilty to a series of disturbing crimes

involving her ex-husband why why get a divorce at that point there's nothing for you a former sheriff's lieutenant Cynthia admitted to several offenses including serving her students cupcakes tainted with her husband's

bodily fluids bro. So we gotta be on guard for that? Come cupcakes? The crimes came to light in 2019 with authorities find when authorities found extensive evidence on the couple's electronics devices linking them to numerous acts of abuse and misconduct Cynthia agreed to a plea deal to avoid trial and testifying as her husband who's now serving a hundred-year prison sentence? No. Uh-uh. The case shocked both the local community and the broader public due to the depravity of the acts

and the couple's positions of trust. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for that explanation. No indication on how they discovered it? Like, some kid who was getting molested was like, hey, wait a minute, this tastes like come. Wait a second.

Hey, wait a minute. There's coming this shit. I don't know what this tastes like. Usually I get the belt before this part Yeah Hold up Hold up hold up hold up This has

I swear to God This has come in it Or someone took it home And their mom ate it Wait a minute They're being served at a Halloween party And they were blinding all the kids Ugh

Thanks Nick How'd you find it? Johnny Rico Woman Alert Woman Alert Woman alert Okay Marijuana leads

This cute horse-faced blonde To getting shot by her friend Jamaica Oh Hmm Pharmacy student shot and killed By friend who became paranoid After they smoked pot together Documents say

Wow I guess that really happens to people, huh? Um Yeah I think the point was that she was Her name was Jamaica I think that's the entire story Yeah Okay

Uh uh uh Oh Are we a fat watch already? I have a very special Woman Alert Fat Watch Oh Frightening fat TikTok influencer gets sued And forced to pay 1.75 million

In damages to the To the spouse of a man She had an affair with Okay Women Alert This is where we need that fat woman alert Fat woman alert Uh

Wow a TikTok influencer Ordered to pay 1.75 million For having an affair with her manager in destroying his marriage. You can get sued for having an affair with someone? Oof, yikes. Okay, so the TikTok star had an affair with her manager. Okay.

And he says this is what the influencer looked like. Well, let's... Yeah, that's the only part I'm concerned about. Let's see. It's probably pretty hot, right? 1.75 million. Hot. That's pretty hot. Oh, no.

Is it dollars or pounds? Holy shit. No, no, no, no. It's a big fat black woman wearing a blue suit like Varuka Salt, or what was their name in Willy Wonka? The blueberry one? Veracost was the nut one. Violet Beauregard. Bowregard.

That bit dressed like. Adam Blueberry from the veggie tails. That's crazy. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh. Just like watching the fucking Brown M&M family reunion over here. She's dressed like the brown M&M. It looks identical to the brown M&M.

Cook a late night dinner. Smoke creamy salmon. So here's what I do. Of course, you first oil your pan. Season one side of your meat and then season it again while it's in the pan. find that much easier personally. I mean, you could do however you want to do. She cross-eyed?

She's so fat. She looks like a baby. Her eyes are like... Yeah. They did, of course, onion powder. God damn. Smok paprika, black pepper, and salt. So those are the things that I do use now.

You know what? There was a listener, and I apologize, I can't recall your name off the top of my head. There was a listener who sent me in one of these fat bitches cooking Totino's pizza rolls in a pan. and then sent me a screenshot of the comments saying that like because she's overseesing the fun

like tons of oregano but like you know just re-cooking the food basically yeah but these fat bitches started calling it decorating their food now oh and that was like a love

intersection of chungis and big chungis that I'm fucking sick of it this chick is. Yeah, she needs to quit decorating. She needs to quit decorating her food. And the toilet, I'm sure.

She posted this with a little Instagram comment on it that says My Stinky Butt. And her dreads are going down in her stinky ass cheeks. You think that part of her hair stinks? Yeah, do you think that part of her

stinks like shit? This is what Michelle Obama's talking about? The dreads that we can't that white people can't get enough. Oh man, white people just salivate when they see those dreads tickling your butt cheeks and your asshole. It's that salivation before barf falls.

White people are like, oh, delicious. Look at those dreads. They're just fucking obsessed with our dreads. Because that's the problem with what's happening here. Man. The dreads. I like that she's kind of standing forward a little bit to make it look like she thinks she has an ass

but it's like you're there's nothing there all she is is her ass goes from her feet up to the back of her neck and then this bitch is at the DMV uh huh with her her ass

filthy ass dreads that she could floss her that floss her butt hole with every step the new polishing like um can you like, can you work on your personal hygiene? Oh, you know that we need these dreads. It just looks like she's trying to do a sumo tackle on him.

Was this the guy that cheated on his wife? She's like holding him hostage. Don't wear Mario. Don't wear the Mario shirt. She's doing her hair. I don't know what this is. So we're about to cook, y'all. Shocker.

All right. Thanks for that. Johnny Rico. Sidwin said Dick made it sound like the whale was going to be a funny movie. It was not. I was picturing... That's the comment I was waiting for. It is a funny movie.

It's a fucking hysterical movie. Yeah, a movie were you watching? Did you tell someone that... I told everybody. It's hysterical. I'm like the... Yeah. Oh. Here, like, I'm going to get my girlfriend.

We're going to watch this funny Brandon Fraser movie. It's going to be great. It's slapstick. Yeah. It's totally like the mummy returns after all these years now. This is a hilarious

comedy film. What do you... It was not. I was... It is funny. Just go look at the... Look at the picture on Netflix. He's like,

Oh. You're going to watch it again. It's like Big Lavowski, man. It gets funny the more we watch it. It's got a second or third time. It's got that funny girl from stranger things in it. There you go. It's a comedy movie.

I was picturing a fat bastard type comedy. Why would you be picturing that? It was like Academy Award nomination. and shit, do you think that it's like, do you really think that would be nominated for an Oscar, a fucking movie about fat bastard? It's like

Mike Myers. It's Brendan Fraser doing Mike Myers the whole time. Oh, get on my belly. And farts and stuff? Yeah. Oh, man. It's fucking fat bastard. It is.

It is fat bastard. It's just the whole movie. He's wearing a big fat suit. And he eats like a whole pizza. There's a scene, there's like a six-minute scene where he eats everything in the kitchen and tears it all apart. He orders a pizza, folds it into a sandwich, and dumps ranch all in it. And goes like, oh, y, y, y, y'i-ha. It's hilarious.

And then he fucking, like, floats around at the end. God. I didn't realize we had such humorless. It's hilarious. Because he's doing, like, everything. he does in the movie, he'll drop shit under the couch, but he's like, I need my fat

ass wiping wand to get it out. Like, everything is so pointlessly complicated. As, if you were a fat, yeah. It's comical. Like, he can't do anything without something going fatly wrong. Like, oh, no, a fucking fat problem.

Yeah, it's fat watch the movie. Like, he's in the bathroom. He's like, I'm out of toilet paper. And he's like, waddling into the other room. He's like, all just use the comforter and then someone's in his bed they're like ah and he's like oh no it's like fucking mr mgoo shit the whole movie's so stupid it's hilarious well i tried to use my hand but i couldn't reach back there yeah and it's like brennan fraser he's acting like gay he's like oh it's like he's got this whole affect that's all weird it's totally stupid oh uh i was not

I was picturing fat bastard type comedy. Fat bastard's not funny. That's not funny. Baby back ribs. That's not funny. It's a reference to a commercial. It's not funny. He's chasing a midget around.

That's fucking stupid. It's fucking dumb. Fucking go fat bastard. type show. Yeah, bat bastard's not funny. I didn't laugh once during all Austin Powers movies. Oh, look up in the sky. It's a giant cock. Oh, no. It's actually a big weiner. Like, oh, hilarious.

Fat bastard humor is, man, what was it with people? It was like when Chappelle showed, did the Liljohn, like what? Yeah, yeah. It was like, the get in my belly thing was all people could fucking say, but it was not fucking funny. It was never funny. It's fucking dumb. That's not what fat people are like.

They don't go around going, get in my belly to midgets. And singing about baby back ribs commercials. Well, they do be doing that. They're doing stuff like trying to get connected with their estranged daughter. Through a webcam. Through webcams, hosting webcam class. And it's weird and ordering multiple pizzas.

That shit's funny. That's funny. But struggling is... Yeah, it takes him like 10 minutes. He can't even tie his fucking shoes. He hasn't walked in like five years. That's pure comedy. And then he's like walking to prove that he loves his daughter.

He's like, oh! That's funny. That's funny. Not chasing midgets around. That's like Mexican wrestling shit. It's not funny. Oh, man. Man.

Mac Myers isn't even fat. No. Brennan Fraser is fat. He's fat without the fat suit. It's extra hilarious that he's wearing a big fat suit talking about how fat he isn't, because he is fat. I mean, goose him up a little bit. And he was raped or something? Brennan Fraser in real life by a Hollywood person?

I don't know anything about that. But it adds a little bit of extra, you know, comedy to the movie. It just, uh... What do you mean? He didn't think the whale was funny. What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you talking about? Fat bastard type movie.

Did you think Precious was funny? This is the first strand type of game. I shouldn't have watched it with my wife. I knew he roped someone into it. It's like, oh, this is gonna be a good fucking, that's why he wrote it in, because if you watch it by yourself, ah, chalk that one up to the game, whatever, Dick was wrong. Hey, honey, we gotta watch this movie The Whale.

It's hilarious. Yeah. Oh, you know, that funny show? Let's do you. Well, he says it's fucking great. we got a man the false premise of well the correct premise rather

that it's a fucking funny movie and then it's a funny movie I'm going to go rewatch it now you too it's hilarious put a laugh track in it if there was ever a movie review on this channel it would be the whale what is your wife thinks funny then

probably the office or some shit the chunkfiz probably chunk yeah the chunk fist the chunggis in its I C E, it's in the U.S.

The chunkfis there's a bunch of chungis and working in an office together at chungus factory I I hate that visuals so fucking much that's a bunch of bugs bunny

waddling her Yeah, nothing but people's flare and fucking knickknacks on everything God damn Should have watched it with my wife You fucked up well that was on you dog How did you not know? You didn't think to look up is the wail a comedy movie Look at the fucking man where let me bring up the poster the whale Whale

You thought this is a Fucking comedy. That fucking picture? Where's that picture? Bring it back. Okay. Yeah, it's 824. You know, the comedy people.

It's like the naked gun. I know these rules can feel constraining. But remember, the point of this course is to learn how, to write clearly and persuasively. Think about that. Think about the truth of your argument. He's hilarious.

And all those people are there like, oh my God, he's fucking huge. Can you believe this is fucking, oh my God. Can you believe this guy? Gigantic. 600 pounds. You know, it just turns out I'm really not much of the comedies. See, because I'm waiting.

I was waiting, I was waiting for a fart. The whole movie. This is all I want. Entire movies. I was just giggling the whole time. Like I was in church. Come on, man. You know he's farting in there.

Well, it was like when I watched that Robbie Williams documentary, and I'm like, I know he's going to fucking tear his skin off at any point in this. I just know he's going to fucking do it. And he didn't. So it's that funny, extra funny. It's like Jaws. It's so scary because you don't see the shark. Right.

Like this movie's so funny because you don't hear the farting. It could be anywhere. It could be anywhere. And then you're thinking about it the whole time. Oh my fucking God Whatever Can they frame that email It's fucking good

It is not Okay I'm still pissed at that fat bitch I'm still pissed at that fat bitch Juliana Oliviaana has a gold plan healthcare I'm still upset about that

I was talking about that with some nursing friends of mine and they're all horrified fucking fatso shouldn't even qualify to be on that plan she should be in the whale two yeah the whale two T-O-O

well comma two fucking I'm not gonna be able to stop thinking about that shit he fucking flies at the end of the movie he fucking flies

okay the whale flies it's hysterical can you believe this wasn't a comedy movie God, the whole time I'm just imagining him too just like

staring daggers into him not watching the movie at all and him being like, oh, it's got to be funny at some point. Like this is just like the intro part where it's all sad and then it just never man sorry that you're never allowed to pick movies again for movie night

but it is funny. It should you messed up. The robot engineer says, fat wedding photographer. This grimace shot the photos at two of my niece weddings. Oh, we tried to look. Yes, and then he sent me an update. He was listening

to the show, and he sent me an update. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, he said I need to log in to this account. Then I can see it, and he also clipped it and sent it to me separately. Okay. Let me see if that let me see if that will work. Because I need to see these

static. It's like setting up a wildlife camera. Yeah, what the hell? Why doesn't this work? Fucking Chungus book over here An old password No, just let me log in Let me log in Chungus book That's a chung book

No, not a new account How does anybody use this shit anymore? Old password Do I even have access to this shit anymore? Okay Okay I tested it earlier but obviously I fucked it up.

Yes, that's... No, I click no! Fuck! They put the no as the blue button! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! No, it was me. God damn it!

Dude, Reddit guy is gonna be fucking... He's gonna be pissed today. Fuck! Yes, okay. Now send it quickly. Come on, go, go, go, go, go, come, go, go, go, go, my, ma'am, don't click the blue. Don't click the blue. Don't click the blue.

Okay. Send it. What hell? Waiting for approval. This might take a few minutes. Oh, God damn it. What a fucking asshole. A fucking piece of shit! Try it another way.

No, there it is. There it is. Okay. Don't press the blue. Yes, it's me. Yes, allow the login. Okay, this better be juicy. Finish. You approved a login. How long do I have to wait for this? All right. Uh, yeah, save.

Uh, trusted device. Uh, okay. Now, here we go. So this is the woman that was so fat. Every wedding photography, every picture she takes of the wedding is in the same, um, is in the same framing. Let me see what he said. Where the hell is it? Fat Watch Influencer

What the fuck? Did I lose it? This grimace had shot the photos Her fatness caused her to take all the photos from a single vantage point The account's still active Uh she specializes in fat watch Okay A year ago I captured this incredible

Wedding Day happy anniversary And this is The the biker, if the fat guys on the motorcycles got married, I guess. This is a picture of them. That's nice. Okay. Oh, this is her. Oh, mamma mia.

This is your wedding photographer? Yeah, I don't think you're going to get any from below shots. I don't think you're going to get any like breaking bad shots with this lady is your wedding photographer. Jesus. Oops Fucking doxy myself Okay, what else does she got here Alright, that was it

I did all that shit for Just that Oh man Well if you want something really disappointing I send you some links to God damn it Okay Yeah, I did that one

Potential Fat Watch The funniest part is the chicken blue Trying to leave the stage during multiple other faties dancing Oh no, Nelson We know who is eating all the food Okay, what does that say? Girl 14 found winged 35 pounds That's fucking depressing

Uh, child investigation is ongoing in Quagmire County Where a 14-year-old girl was found weighing 35 pounds, pounds. Well, where's the where's the picture of the parents? Up at the top. Oh, geez, okay. Well, they're fat. Yeah, they're fat.

First year at 6 o'clock, a Wisconsin teenager starved almost to death. Her father and three other adults are in jail tonight charged with chronic child neglect. 12 news, Hannah-Henna. Explains the horrific conditions prosecutors say the child endure. Now this story does come with a warning as the details we're about to hear.

Come on. Show me the people. Uh, oh, there's they are. Is that it? Now all facing five counts of chronic childness. They're all fat. They all stole this girl's food? That's fucking insane. You'd think the fat people more than anybody would

let them eat. Understand how important it is to eat all the time. Okay. No more pictures of the fat people. All right. There's a pretty slim pickings here today, fellas. Pretty grotesque

article there. Anything else here? No. No. No. No. Some... Okay. Let's do...

Let's do voicemails, and then we'll do your thing. That's the show. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show. Dick.com. We'll see you next week. Here's a video of a fat cow... Oh, wait a minute. Fat cow falling over.

All right. Maybe you can save us. Josh, there's a video of a fat cow falling over at what I assume is a shit-stopping competition. Okay? Oh, Jesus. Ow. Oh. Oh.

Oh, there she goes. Oh, there she goes. The whole thing. Damn. Oh. It's like a waterbed fell off a truck on the freeway. Let me turn the sound on this on. You can't hear her

Okay So it's a fat woman With her Cookie dough stomach hanging out All over the place Is she wearing moccasins? No those are bare ass feet

Those are bare ass feet Yeah okay God damn She's on Looks like Knee bend backwards She's on two by tens Like bleachers

Bleachers made it at two by tens And she dropped her Celsius and that starts the momentum for her fall down it's an empty can it bounces like she drops it it bounces in her face oh yeah it is an empty can dude it gets trapped in her gun for a second hold on watch the can right there she goes dude it's an it's an ashtray can she's using that can for her fucking cigarette oh was in her gut oh that is an ashtray can you're fucking right. Oh my god.

She's this cantankerous, big fat blonde, probably 350 pounds. Look at that. Oh, damn. Stomping around. She tries to pick her stomach up so she can reach down lower to grab the can. She's wearing sparkling shorts. Like, bedazzled. Oh my God. Huge tits. She's like the, she's like that Disney, the Queen of Hearts, like fat. You know? Big old fat gut, huge fat tits. Big, yeah. Big mouth. Ma, blah, blah. A fucking Ma of all ma's.

Yeah, like Ma Beagle. You know, Ma Beagle. Yeah. The Queen of Hearts. Disney just nailed that type of fat woman. Jesus. Oh, knees bending in 360 degrees. Like a... Like a... Like a bearing.

Like a... Hitch, her knees are... She's got the Omni knees. And she's wearing mud as socks. Oh, my word. Her face goes catatonic when she starts rolling down the bleachers. Like, watch

her face. It's like wasted in GTA. Watch. Uh-oh. Watch your face. Watch your face. Uh. That's where my son looks when I pick him up at night. Oh. Is she trying to balance her...

Is the can on something? Between... I didn't realize it at first, but look at how hard the benches are shaking. Oh, yeah. It's not treated lumber, so... They're fucking wiggling. Look at that shit. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Look at how much... It looks like a fucking universal studio's backlot earthquake is happening. So... She's like, I'm a lot of fun. Look at me and go. What was she gonna do? What was she gonna do? Okay, she's on one foot.

She's like, she's like Chris Farley. This is a Chris Farley pratfall. Oh my goodness. Okay. You know? Like this is a Chris Farley move to almost smoke the cigarette, but then not. Right. And bounce around.

I just keep thinking, how many, how many did it take? to wheel her back to the car. How many of the king's men? Yeah. How many you got? I know it was all the king's horses, but all of his men too? Jesus. We're gonna need some more horses.

We're gonna need a lot more fucking men. Here it is. That one right there. Wasted. All the color leaves their fucking body. Oh, CBS. Stop. Can I enhance this?

Oh shit. Jesus. Damn Look at this I didn't know I could do this Man Zoom in Look at this guy's loving it up here

The guy's like Yeah Get this bitch going Let's go Rial her up Look at how big this mouth is Last thing Fucking krill sees

Before it gets turned into whale shit She's so fat she's retarded Whistling like a fucking foghorn What does her shirt say? Oh man, oh man. I can't see it. Oh, man. Look at these feet.

Both pointed the wrong way. Man. Here's the gunt. The gunt is below the knee at this point. Damn. See, I bet that guy would watch this with his girlfriend. She wouldn't think is funny either. He might.

Yeah, he might. He might start to see the light. So she, okay, so she's, it looks like she's still on, track, whatever her in her mind is what she's trying to do. It doesn't seem like she thinks anything's... Look at this, Johnny. Look at this back hump.

Yeah. Look at this camel hump. That's not even back. That's a side hump. Side hump. Man. Why are there dollar bills on the floor? Look at the... Because she fucking took all the damage and fucking dropped her loot. Is she trying to get the dollars?

There goes her ashtray. Can. I'm getting the hell out of here. Oh no Okay Man The thing that this Uh oh

We've lost We've lost Structural integrity And It's going down Sir It's going down This pig is just

Ripping back cigarettes Like it's nobody's business Fucking got Lightheaded from just The fucking Standing up Yeah just from standing up In general

But after all those sorts Damn God The arm behind the back Oh Oh Jesus There is a torn

ligament in there somewhere Torn pigament Torn pigament Look at her face She's loving it She's having fun She's happier Than a pig and shit

God I can't get over How much Those fucking benches are moving Yeah Yeah Okay okay That's enough of this

Let's watch your Your thing Oh yeah We're gonna do voicemails maybe just a couple yeah because I got some they're not that gross today okay good they're funny

ish we'll say I guess we'll see who knows we'll see uh allow okay hey so dick yeah they have voice now cut off um I mean that is my fault I was fucking three sheets to the wind walking across

my entire town getting home um Yeah, that's a piece of shit. Dude, you're just making me a fucking rage. Everything you say, everything that I hear is getting me fucking more and more pissed off. In a good way. Oh. Okay, maybe it sounds like I'm just spewing off like a dumb ass.

But no, dude, like you fucking make me happy about hearing all the shit that pisses you off. But now I'm getting more and more pissed off every episode I listen to. So I'm on like episode 60. 60. So I can actually call in and fucking talk about what you guys are talking about. What are we talking about in episode 60? So maybe I'll get caught up. I don't know.

I've only been listening for a couple months or maybe two months. You've got to listen faster. Listen to two at a time. One for each year. I feel like to get caught up. But I'm going to listen to this newest episode. Oh, this fucking stupid-ass voicemail gets on there, but... You're the man, Dick.

I got to mark this guy and see when he gives up. Fucking man. You're the fucking... Thank you. You're the man. That's like the kind of voice mail, because he said he's walking around town trying to get home. Dick, Dick, Dick. Hell yeah.

I'll call that again, Dick, don't want to. Okay, thanks. Thanks. Let us know how it goes. But you know when you're on the phone and you don't want to be and you start walking around the house and, like, doing shit? Yeah. That's like what that kind of call felt like. He's walking home anyway.

He can waste your time all fucking day. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that goddamn liberal asshole, Bannocks. Fuck them. What years are these coming from? Hey, Dick,

I got a rage for you. All right. It's people who are speaking English. And then they come across a non-native, fuck, I can't do this. Now, here's my rage. Having a great rage.

And then you think, oh yeah that's a great rage and then you kind of talk it through in your head and like yeah that's funny and then you can have the fucking phone and you fucking stumble over your own fucking heart you don't need to talk it over in your head just just calling and say it like you know how you normally talk you don't need to talk it through in your head hi I'm blank and this is how I talk that's how you start every voicemail that's right hi I'm blank this is how I talk and then you know what makes me raise this yeah

because and then this is why it happened this is where it happens, and this is when it happened to me. And this is how it affected me. Thank you and go fuck yourself. Yeah. And maybe it wouldn't be great if it didn't happen. Because of this reason. Think of how the pleasantness of life without.

You got to start somewhere. Yeah. Okay. What about you to purchase? That's insurance rate that doesn't match. Yeah. It's a ridiculous A.PR that doesn't match market value. Or, God forbid, you know, we're talking about the 50-year mortgage.

Yeah, let's just find your first 70. We know you'll be okay. We know you won't be able to pay it back. And the first new, like, it would really fucking cut down on it. Take it. It would stop people from taking out shooting loans like this. And it would stop banks because that's ultimately the one who's going to have a problem. Fucking PMI just covers the ability of the bank to take something and sell it in the future.

Yeah. So you're literally losing no money. If you were the owner of the ass, don't give them the ability to. Make it hurt them. I just think that my, I think my system of raping the bankers. is just better. And it's more likely to, it's more likely to happen.

Banks are more likely to let their CEOs get raped for, for praying on the American people before they are going to let money. Yeah. Go out the door. So I think it's more, it's,

it's more reasonable if we try to make a law, or, you know, even if it's just like understood that they have to do this, like that if something, if you get, they get a do predatory, loans and

somebody loses, let's say a house gets foreclosed, then the rule is that the person who

own the house gets to rape the banker. Who takes the house. And that's more reasonable. Because the

system as it is now is set up to fraud you. So it's not like they are not aware

of it. They set it up to steal. And the only thing that will reverse it is, you know,

billions of people getting killed. that's pretty much it that's what Trump got shot twice and did he get shit twice or once one time it got shot once

Trump got shot they killed Charlie Kirk and that was just and we didn't even get rid of that many illegals it was just like the threat and that's the low that's the absolute lowest get rid of the illegals first then we'll do this H1B shit and we'll talk about mortgages

and where the money's going to stock all this other juiced up shit that's going on. We just tried to do the very minimum one. We started getting killed. So, it's not, some, some,

a lot bigger. People with a, a, a, a, a, a, uh, a,

a, a lot less to lose is going to have to step in and start throwing their weight around. Uh, People who don't, people who get called anti-Semitic and it just kind of rolls off their back or they're like, yeah, cool. That's the kind of people who will fix it. Not people like me who are like, whoa, who do you, I can't say the F slur on.

I'll lose my bank account. People who are like, yeah, Hitler was awesome. Sure, you guys don't like Hitler, right? Yeah, I do. I love him. It's cool. Who's got a problem with that? That's the people who are going to fix.

And I don't even believe it, obviously. They just, that's the mentality of the people that it's going to take to fix it. Oh yeah, I'm a communist. Oh, communist killed hundreds of millions of people. Yeah, it's cool. I'm communist. I'm taking all your stuff.

All right. Well, do we have any Nazis? Because they're the only ones who've ever really fought communists and one. So we're going to need those guys. If you could go ahead and get those guys back, sounds like we're going to need them. Hey, Marvin, you know those communists you're dealing with? Hey, Dick, Johnny.

Any random guests that may be there. Podcast property, your Holy Spirit is being through again. Oh, yeah, I remember you. I'm starting doing voicemails again, so make it I call in. I got something that spits me off. I'll just call it school administrations that are okay with covering up and not necessarily punishing kid fuckers. The school, I went to high school in. When I was a kid, there was a gym teacher who was banging a teenager.

She went to college. She got divorced, and they ended up getting married. There was a health teacher who got caught banging this olive oil-looking bitch in the wait room. Her parents had money, so they swept it on their rug, and the schools had told them, don't do it at the school anymore. He's now the dean of students, by the way. Yeah. And then there's another one who was, and this one real.

really pisses me off. He, it's a history, teacher, social studies, something like that. I can't fucking remember. Anyways, he, uh, he was banging when I was 16, my 16 year old friend, um,

I won't say her name, but he was banging her and I pissed me off because I'd been trying to fucking bang her, but, you know, oh, wow, I was a doy fucking give me the details. I need all the details of the underage rape that's happening. Give me more details. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And apparently he's back at it, and people have been posting messages he's sent to other girls on Snapchat's and stuff like that. Call on a princess and telling him not to take sweet. Okay, okay, all right. I'm at my limit, unless you want to hear more. I'm good. Okay. On this particular voicemail. I appreciate the call.

I just, there's only so much. Thanks. Quit the bullshit, man. Thanks. There's only so much I could hear. Straight. drop. Stop it.

Thanks. Oh, man. Okay. You might want to do the theme song real quick. Oh, yeah. And as always, thanks to Reverend Scott for such a great theme song. Here it is. Here it is, everybody.

I got to put it on my soundboard. What should I replace? I'm going to replace something. I could replace. the internet. That's kind of a good one. I can't replace that. I can't replace that. Yeah, just keep them. Ah, that's, I can replace that one.

Okay. Oh, man. Here's some office humor for everybody. It's, you know, time to grab my, my file box full of pens and pencils. Okay, what's your, what are you, what's your first one? Okay, so our first one here is, to all you bitches. Oh. To all you bitches. It's a black guy

It's a black guy And he's got something he has to say to us But something happens in the background While he's telling you something To all you bitches God dang All you bitches That want me to simp

To your pussy print I just want to know one thing Will my semen You drink Oh To all you bitches So He said

it wasn't gross. You said that was the grossest one yet. I forgot what he said. So it's a bit of unk-maxing with like if someone gets murdered or like run into in the background. What was that? It's like a gunshot or like a car accident

or something, but man. Why is he talking about drinking semen? This guy's account is fucking crazy. He does all sorts of fucking insane shit. That one got me very. pretty good. Ooh, quark chung is maxing. This one made me fucking sick. The glasses and the hair is all you need, but. All right. It's a lady with like a comb over, like a proud boy comb over.

Giant green glass. Old lady. Yeah. Biddy do. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, hey. Let's make today a fabulous day. How y'all doing this morning? Bad. You know what day it is today, don't you? it's just another magic Monday. Oh, yeah.

So make it a freaking fabulous day. Set the tone for the rest of the week. Put a smile on your face, say, hi, to people you meet. Maybe open a door or two or maybe even buy someone a cup of coffee. Why? Well, just because you can. Oh, fuck would I buy someone an $8 cup of coffee? It makes someone else feel good, too.

Bonus! Fuck everyone else. What humbug. I hope you have a freaking fabulous day. I go out, drop them there, pebbles of positivity, and greet the world with an attitude of gratitude. And remember, I love you. Peace, love, and many, many, many blessings. It made me fucking sick, man, I saw that and was like, get this fucking shit.

Buy a coffee for somebody. What century do you live? Hold the door open for a Do all these fucking heckin' positive things in your day Like fuck off We get stabbed saying good morning to somebody Stabbed right in my fucking neck I'm gonna say

I'm gonna go spread some good cheer Of burning that three story house down Yeah I'm gonna go see why that party Express place is closed Yeah that fucking made me sick though Old Chungus out in the fucking wild like that This old Chungus bit This old fucking...

Cranky chungus. Crank chungus. Donkey chungus, Chong? Yeah, that one was pretty upsetting though. Okay. You fucking bitch. You fucking bitch, man.

The next one you might like. So this one's a yet another bootleg funeral. Oh, yeah. Here we go. I like this one. Okay, I see a Louis Vuitton paper, like leather or a design or something? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yes, we do do the... pocketbook obituaries. I had a customer called me from the DMV, or no disrespect. Y'all know that's not Baltimore. That's close to the D.C.

They won at 125 of the pocketbook old bitchwires. I had to come from short. Wait, what is she saying a gold bitch award? A pocketbook obituary. Oh, dude. So she's making, using the Louis Vuitton logos and stuff, she's printing out these obituary covers,

and then her husband or whoever is gluing a fake gold job. chains to them so it looks like everyone She's making cardboard Louis Vuitton bags Yeah for everyone Well yeah it gets better keep going Yeah there you go Nick on the chains on the chains I just go over there on the stapling

And you know I'm always in the mix I'm gluing the gold custom Louis Vuitton buckles to the outside And you know what Don't look at my nails don't look at my nails Anyway it took Hey nails like shit Yeah they look like shit

I want to see her open the thing too Because it shows the like actual You put up a picture where I inside the purse but I just can't take their economy. Like the things that black people are making that are funeral-based, I can't take it. Well, someone spent money. I mean the infinity shoes.

That was... Because I love all of it. I think this is a great idea. Oh, it is. I think they should be making cardboard Louis Vuitton bags and purses and stuff and that it's great. How else would you like your friends to be memorialized other than, yeah, I went to their funeral.

got a fake Louis Vuitton bag. Yeah. Yeah. Like, what's the difference? This one's a dollar. This one cost it a dollar. Well, that's the thing is, how much you want to bet? She up charge.

She was like, yeah, that's at least going to be like $800. With the Shawnee Outs was thornet. I had to adhes it to the inside. Add Velcro to the outside. So it closes just like a purse. But y'all know, my boogey aunt wanted a clutch. So what I did took the chain off and gave her a clutch. There you have.

Well, well, well. Yes, we do do the possible obituaries. I had a custom. Wait, that was an obituary? Yeah. Oh, this is for a funeral. This shit, there's videos about something she made for a fucking funeral. Yes.

That's what. And dude, what? The Kanye West, a good life playing in the background. I put my team together. There you go, Nick, on the change, on the change. I have to go over there on a stapling and you know I'm always in the mix. She's making her kids do all the work for. The custom Louis Vuitton buckles to the outside.

And you know what? Don't look at my nails. Don't look at my nails. Anyway, it took a... How she made in that? It's the final product, but it turned out... It's either like a cricket. Yeah, a little cutter or she's just ordering...

Okay, look at... So this is an obituary? Yeah. This is a very young person. Mm-hmm. Oh, geez. But I had to put the shawney. Old twist thorn.

Oh. Yeah. So she's like... Celebrating this person's death in a weird... I really don't know where to put my finger on it at Yeah It's fucking pretty bad Put my foot on it

Yeah It's not all about obituary stuff It's about What's her business that she's starting up So priority printing Charlotte Okay That's what her Charlotte North Carolina

Priority printing She threw me off Because it's priority printing Mm-hmm See that sounds like a business Now it's just like So okay So then to answer your question

she probably did have the cricket then and cut out all the fake Louis Vuitton logos. Okay. Sickening. You got to put some pictures of your business in here, not of you dressed up. Well, it's not about her business, Dick.

It's about what she does for everyone else. Oh, okay. Now, so we talked about fake children earlier. Yeah. But we never... What happens next after the fake children, right? Okay. Oh, wow.

Beth Miller, it's... woman filming two dummies in bed two mannequins and the mannequins are both looking back at her what the hell you two assholes I've had enough you lay in in bed

doing it whatever it is that you do get up do something constructive oh nice to see you two getting up and why does that guy why does the dummy have a

stomach tattoo but look they're drinking already in the morning She invented her own problematic children to be living with. Adult kids. And that's her son and that's her, his, like, whore girlfriend? Either that or it's his daughter and her retarded boyfriend, but you fucking... They're drinking Crown Royal in the morning? That's got to be like some bootleg shit.

Karen, don't brush your teeth with tequila. What are you guys doing in my studio? whatever she tells you to do you're such a fucking moron So he was back sassing Yeah Fucking Bro

Suddenly the minks look like the most normal shit I've ever seen Yeah because the minks are cool They got boogie teeth man This Dude what So she's looking Oh you're looking for stuff for Halloween

I don't like you in here. Get out. Go play with your own stuff. Oh my God. Karen. Stop. Oh, she's outside. What the fuck?

Why do you always have to be such a bitch? Okay, so that's her daughter. She wouldn't talk to her son's girlfriend like that. Why is she putting them both so, I'm so confused. So now there, so in the story, the mannequins are outside. They're dressed up. The girl was dressed up in like a devil outfit, and he's, the guy's, her, the dummy mannequin son is wearing a skull mask and a hoodie and is smoking sage, a giant sage.

Looking like the share zone admin over here. Why do you always have to be so stupid? Okay, you two assholes. I've had enough to lay in bed doing it, whatever it's that you do. And they've got, she's got empty, empty, beer bottles and stuff all, empty beer cans all around them. Did you see that? Yeah. It's like she's walking in

on like a, ooh, rager of a night. And it's like, this is what you invent, like your own people to like, it's like a shower argument personified. It's so crazy. She's like looking to like fucking like, yeah, I'm going to tell these assholes. And there's

more of them? You thought there would only be one? You're baking Dylan's birthday case? for tomorrow? You know, after the last time you baked a cake for knee with numnuts over here. It was a total fiasco. I do not want anything like that. Oh, you remedied the situation? Oh, she duct taped the man mannequin's mouth shut. That's how, why doesn't this woman

have a series? It is. It's called her Instagram. She needs to be on, this needs to be on like after smiling friends. Well, welcome to Johnny's brain rot corner. We're the, hope. Hopefully there's some... How do you... This is like... It's just a gem. Every...

Every time there's one just unbelievable gem. Try, you know... I'm sitting on a whole mountain of them. You know, you got to... 2,000 likes for this. Uh, does she respond to anybody? It doesn't look like it, no.

No, she's like anuteur. Okay. Good thinking, Karen, but... Why the fuck don't you have any clothes on? What is wrong with you? She's a ho. She just wants to nag people. She's nagging mannequins.

Yeah. No. No. What are you two doing? It's woman in Richmond. Oh, she's got a dog. So the dog's looking at this shit going, what the fuck is the day doing? Good morning, Pete.

Did you have a good sleepy? You ready to go outside? Uh-oh. Are they outside? Yes. Yes. If I had a. They're naked.

The mannequins are naked laying in the yard. And the dog's just doing dog stuff. Storren found these two assholes passed out naked on the front lawn. I could afford to eat at fucking McDonald's. Just from a whole different universe. Dude. Hey Pete, where's Karen and Chad? over here

naked again she put the half of the man in a habachi he's torturing like hitting him with pokers and she's wearing a witch hat no you're boiling the skin right off his body

did she ruin the mannequin well I'm sure she just probably like a Lego piece just probably took the top off and fucking stuffed it in Yeah, this lady is fucking Whatever beyond cooked and fried is Wait, she got invited to a wedding?

She has a real son? Did the son have a conversation with her About not bringing her mannequins to the wedding? How much do you want a fucking bet, dude? dude hey yeah you can come just none of the fucking whatever that is

even though it's the greatest it's some of the greatest content like if Sam Hyde made this everyone would think that's amazing actually yeah Pete we're here in a chat in the bathroom together

and the dog is trained yeah that's incredible the dog's the only one in on it this is more work than any YouTuber puts in to their stuff. Kind of, right?

Oh, he's makes me nervous. Hey, would, Karen, Chad, what? They're sitting in, the mannequins are in the bathroom drinking tequila. You're reading to Chad while he takes a dump? And you're eating ice cream on the shitter? Oh, he's constipated and this could take a while? Um, I'm speaking, yeah, whatever.

I got to go. Pete, I mean, correct reaction, I also got to go after that one. I was eating ice cream on the toilet. To blow it all straight out of his asshole, I guess. Okay. Last one, okay, so this is Scott from Scotland to becoming J.D. Vance. All right. Seems totally normal.

Totally reasonable thing for Scottish comedian to do. Scott from Scotland, I've had a regular life, a airline adoption, So he's that old man in the bottom picture. What? Oh my God. So this old ass guy from Scotland came in and did all this surgery and now looks like this, the J.D. Vance, like, meme. Yeah. Stretched out.

Yeah. That one. What? Ew. A fucking insanity. Oh, my God. Scott from Scotland Hi-Hide

A brown left It's a good thing His name was an ass From ass Okay That's it Goodbye Bye everybody

By the way If you like this And want to see more If you're a complete sicko Make sure to go to Johnny's brain rot dot com Where you can see

You can get the links An endless amount Yeah Okay You can poison your Instagram feed Yes exactly All right Goodbye, everyone.

Bye, everybody.